#and dirk and her should get along swimmingly

[theholisticdetective]

“Y’think?”

She’s a little out of breath, her chest rising and falling noticeably with every inhale. She’s never been run out of someone’s apartment from a reading before and she swears she saw a shoe fly at them before they managed to close the door shut. Today is a day of firsts for the usually solo fortune teller, she thinks as she looks at the other with an incredulous sparkle to her eyes. Why did she agreed to this?

@missfrtune

“INDEED,” he manages to offer between pants, “I think it went remarkably well.”

 Considering how badly some of his other sessions had ended in the past, this one was practically smooth-sailing. Sure, things were tossed at them and words yelled about them, but at least they had the foresight to ask for half the payment upfront and the thought of that money-filled envelope nestled in his coat pocket is enough to make him laugh. He does start laughing and almost immediately his ribs send a sharp stab through his body in protest. That stops him immediately there’s a limit to how much physical activity a body sustained on a diet of mostly pizza will tolerate and their brisk departure from their client’s flat means his quota for this month is just about all used up.

“P-perhaps we should take a seat somewhere to regroup?” he is bending forward in an attempt to get rid of the stitch in his side, “I’m certain they’ve quit following us now.”

[voidhacks]

Mall Au Ideas!

This takes place in a mall in modern times and they are all humans living normal lives sburb never happened and I did this late at night and I may write a fic about it soon.

Roxy works at a hair and nail salon and knows all the gossip and always looks so nice and everyone who goes there asks for her. She gets along well with Jade and Nepeta and has a million cats. Dirk is a martial arts instructor, but he is super awkward around students his age and parents of little kids, but he’s ok with the young kids and is very talented. He has trophies for the tournaments he has won and the kids always ask about them and he is happy to tell them the stories again and again. Lil Hal is his younger brother who is taking his classes. Jake works at blockbuster and always hosts movie night. He also gets almost fired for keeping Avatar after promising he would only borrow it for “a bit” Jane works at a small bakery and bakes scones and cupcakes with her Dad and she is always super happy and she is the best baker ever and she always brings her cupcakes to parties, but they disappear almost instantly. Rose works at a hot topic and Kanaya is her best customer, coming in every day for reasons that get less and less believable until she admits that she just wants to see her. Kanaya eventually gets hired. Rose is also Dave’s sister and they always tease each other and have a great relationship. Dave works at a store selling various instruments and also has private lessons. He constantly tries to sell his mixtape. Karkat is being given lessons by Dave there. Jade works at a pet store and she rescues abused and abandoned animals so she has tons of animal in her apartment. She takes care of all the animals and they all love her and she is just the best ever. She has a white husky named bec and he has been around all of her life. John works at a magic store that also sells stuff for jokes and pranks. He’s really good at all the card tricks and a masterful practical joker. Jade is his sister and she gave him a rabbit which he named Liv Tyler and he does all the tricks with her. He also watches tons of movies with Jake in his free time because they both love movies. All these stores are in a circle around a fountain and there is also a Starbucks where everyone meets up during breaks and Calliope and her asshole brother Caliborn work there as baristas.

Karkat takes lessons at Dave’s shop and regularly hangs out at the mall but really doesn’t have much to do so he usually hangs around the shop until Dave’s break and then follows him. Aradia works at blockbuster as well and loves movies with adventure like Indiana Jones as well as other movies that involve death. Tavros works at a store that sells board games and is happy to teach customers how to play games. Vriska always comes in to laugh at him but also sometimes sits down and plays a friendly game of fieudspawn with him. Sollux used to work at a GameStop but when a Mom came in and called Star Wars “Star Trek” he lost his shit and went on a huge rant that got him fired. He now works at a Genius Bar at the Apple Store and hates everything. Nepeta works at an anime store with huge plushies, tons of snacks, toys, and all the episodes sailor moon playing on loop on a big tv on the wall. She also loves cats very much and goes to Jade’s pet store every day to see cats! She works with Equius whom she dragged into this job and he does it because he is friends with Nepeta and is secretly a weeb. Kanaya is a regular at hot topic but she goes mostly to see Rose and eventually gets hired at hot topic and hangs out with Rose and the others a lot Terezi works with Vriska at a costume shop where they sell props, cosplay, and they make custom props and outfits and it’s really cool. They are serious nerds and they are also dating and they Flarp all the time with Tavros and also Aradia and they also play D&D with Tavros, Aradia, Sollux, and Eridan. Terezi is the dungeon master and always makes fun situations and adventures and Vriska is always the creative one finding loopholes and getting tons of lucky rolls. Vriska works with Terezi, but Terezi profile also kind of told us about Vriska. Equius works at the anime store with Nepeta and is secretly a total weeb. He is Nepeta’s best friend forever and loves horses. He is a total secret Brony along with Dirk and they watch MLP at Dirk’s house all the time. He’s also a furry and so are Jade, Roxy, Dirk, Vriska, Terezi, Nepeta, and Dave (ironically of course). Gamzee works in the kids area and does really good face painting and he is really nice to kids but the adults find him kind of unsettling. When he isn’t working he wanders around and the only place he really isn’t welcome is the Hot Topic because of Kanaya and the Cosplay Shop because Vriska and Terezi hate him. Eridan works at a sushi restaurant and is surprisingly talented at cooking. He plays D&D and flarps like the huge nerd he is and he likes swimming. His father owns this chain of sushi restaurants so Eridan had no choice but to do this job. Feferi works in a clothing store and she is the nicest person ever and will tell you that you look good and is very nice and very good with fashion. She also enjoys sushi and is usually nice to Eridan and gets along swimmingly with everyone else. Her mother is the boss of this whole mall and everyone except Feferi is scared of her. Lord English is the owner of all of the malls in the English Emporium chain. Doc Scratch is his assistant that he sends out to inspect malls and deliver messages. The Midnight Crew are known criminals who rob these malls but are still at large. The Felt are mall cops and despite looking scary and big and actually nice to everyone.

If u have anything that u think should be different or anything to add just reblog and add it!