#and cry about not being able to articulate it

[seaside-hysteria]

just watched i saw the tv glow for the first time what the fuck what the fuck whst the fuck

[the-siphonophore]

So like, do you think it's cool to only be able to communicate in a dead language? Are people into that these days?

[itspileofgoodthings]

.

[ceruleanspies]

just finished wanderstop

y'all, i think we're gonna make it. i think we're gonna fuckin make it.

you're good.

[cazshmere]

Lilith (h12) / Mean Lilith in the Houses and What We Feel Ashamed Of 🥀

materialist🔖

DISCLAIMER: These are just my personal observations and are meant for entertainment purposes only; it may not resonate with everyone due to the nuances of astrology. Please respect my work and avoid copying or stealing it. Enjoy reading!! (long post ahead)

🥀 LILITH IN THE 1ST HOUSE : feeling ashamed about your appearance, your personality, how you present yourself to the world, feeling insecure about your face, shying away from social events, embarrassed about how you act in social situations, fear of being perceived as 'too much' so prefers to stay in the background, sometimes embarrassed for using your body/physical appearance to get the things you want, feeling ashamed about self-expression, embarrassed for needing validation or attention from others, constant fear of being scrutinized or judged, feeling guilty for standing out or being bold, ashamed of the attention their natural magnetism attracts, fear of being seen as selfish for prioritising yourself and your own needs and desires, might struggle with imposter syndrome, feeling undeserving of your accomplishments or afraid that others will see through your facade, tendency to overthink how you come across to others, leading to excessive self-doubt and anxiety about first impressions, ultimately hindering your ability to be authentic and true to yourself in various situations.

🥀 LILITH IN THE 2ND HOUSE : feeling ashamed about how you derive your self-worth or validation, ashamed of your finances or the way you accumulate your income, ashamed of how greedy you can get when you want something, feeling ashamed for being too lazy, embarrassed about how much comfort you desire, ashamed with how you spend your money or how much you end up spending, feeling guilty about shopping too much or indulging in luxuries, feeling guilty for placing too much value on material possessions, ashamed of relying on material wealth or status for self-esteem, embarrassed by the need for external validation through possessions or financial success, feeling guilty for being too possessive or overly attached to things, shame around fear of financial instability, even when secure, and embarrassed by needing excessive comfort or luxury to feel secure.

🥀 LILITH IN THE 3RD HOUSE : feeling ashamed about sibling rivalry or competition, embarrassed by how often you curse or use foul language, ashamed of having negative or intrusive thoughts, feeling guilty about being too opinionated or outspoken, ashamed of struggling with communication or expressing your true feelings, feeling insecure about your intellect or how you articulate yourself, feeling embarrassed by being misunderstood or judged for your ideas, ashamed of gossiping or engaging in idle chatter, and feeling guilty for harboring resentment towards others in your close circle, embarrassed about the neighbourhood you live in, embarrassed about the vehicle you drive or the transport you use to commute.

🥀 LILITH IN THE 4TH HOUSE : feeling ashamed about your family dynamics or family background, embarrassed by your mother’s behavior or choices, feeling insecure about where you live or the condition of your home, ashamed of your roots or where you come from, feeling guilty about wanting to distance yourself from family expectations, feeling embarrassed about your private space or personal sanctuary, ashamed of your emotional vulnerabilities or how you express feelings at home, feeling guilty for wanting more than what your family can offer, feeling insecure about how your upbringing shapes your identity, feeling like the black sheep of the family, and feeling guilty for being different from the rest of your family, can even feel embarrassed about crying in front of others.

🥀 LILITH IN THE 5TH HOUSE : feeling ashamed about your dating history or past relationships, embarrassed by your romantic choices or how you express love, feeling guilty for not being able to commit or for being perceived as a flirt, ashamed of your hobbies or interests if they seem childish or trivial, feeling insecure about your creative pursuits or the way you express yourself artistically, feeling embarrassed about seeking validation through attention or admiration, ashamed of your playful side and how it might be viewed as immature, feeling guilty for prioritizing fun and pleasure over responsibilities, feeling uncomfortable with how your personality might overshadow others in social or creative settings, and feeling ashamed of overindulgence in addictions such as gambling, substance use, or alcohol, often leading to feelings of regret and self-blame for losing control.

🥀 LILITH IN THE 6TH HOUSE : feeling ashamed of your body or how you perceive your physical appearance, embarrassed by your work ethic or how you manage your responsibilities, feeling guilty for not working hard enough or for procrastinating, ashamed of how you spend your time or how it reflects on your productivity, feeling overly concerned about health and fitness, often leading to obsessive thoughts about diet or exercise, germophobic and ashamed of your fear of germs or dirt, feeling insecure about your daily routines and how they compare to others, feeling guilty for not taking care of your mental health or neglecting self-care, feeling uncomfortable about your ability to balance work and personal life, feeling ashamed of interpersonal dynamics with coworkers, including rivalry or competition, embarrassed about being perceived as a slacker or underperformer in a team environment, feeling guilty for not being a team player or for asserting your individuality too strongly, and feeling anxious about workplace criticisms or how you fit into the office culture.

🥀 LILITH IN THE 7TH HOUSE : feeling ashamed about your relationships and how they reflect on you, embarrassed by how the public perceives you in partnerships, feeling guilty for relying too heavily on others for validation, ashamed of how you act in one-on-one interactions, often feeling insecure or awkward, feeling uncomfortable with confrontations or disagreements in relationships, feeling guilty for having enemies or strained relationships with others, embarrassed about your fashion choices and how they may be judged by others, feeling ashamed of your desire for intense connections while fearing vulnerability, feeling insecure about the balance of power in partnerships, feeling anxious about being seen as too needy or demanding in your relationships, feeling pressured by societal beauty standards and how they affect your self-worth, and struggling with the desire to conform to certain beauty ideals while also feeling rebellious against them, embarrassed about any legal issues that you’ve got into.

🥀 LILITH IN THE 8TH HOUSE : feeling ashamed about the many secrets you keep and how they shape your identity, embarrassed by your sexual partners or choices regarding sex, feeling guilty about your desires or fantasies, ashamed of your struggles with intimacy and vulnerability, feeling insecure about your emotional depth and how it affects relationships, feeling uncomfortable discussing taboo subjects or exploring darker aspects of life, feeling guilty for being drawn to power dynamics in relationships, ashamed of your fascination with death, transformation, or the occult, feeling anxious about your financial entanglements or shared resources with others, feeling like your hidden aspects are too intense or overwhelming for others to understand, feeling ashamed of opening up emotionally due to fears of rejection or betrayal, struggling with feelings of jealousy or possessiveness in intimate relationships, feeling uncomfortable or ashamed of your body, especially in sexual situations, feeling guilty for exploring non-traditional sexual practices or desires that might be seen as taboo, being overly analytical about emotional bonds and feeling guilty for questioning their depth, feeling insecure about trusting others, leading to feelings of shame for being suspicious or paranoid, feeling overwhelmed by the fear of losing loved ones, leading to emotional withdrawal, and feeling ashamed if relying on partners for financial support or feeling insecure about financial intimacy, and struggling with attachment issues and finding it hard to release past relationships or experiences.

🥀 LILITH IN THE 9TH HOUSE : feeling embarrassed about your beliefs and values, especially if they differ from those of your peers or family, ashamed of where you studied for university or the subjects you chose to pursue, feeling guilty about your academic achievements or the degree you hold, feeling insecure about your intellectual capabilities or how they compare to others, feeling uncomfortable discussing your travel experiences or lack thereof, feeling ashamed of the places you’ve visited or not visited, feeling anxious about sharing your philosophical or spiritual views, fearing judgment for your perspectives on life or morality, feeling guilty for being too opinionated or outspoken about your beliefs, struggling with a sense of wanderlust while feeling tied down by commitments or responsibilities that prevent exploration, feeling ashamed that others may misinterpret your beliefs or values, feeling insecure about not completing a degree or feeling unworthy of your academic accomplishments, feeling uncomfortable with enjoying or adopting elements from other cultures without fully understanding or respecting them, feeling embarrassed about not having traveled enough or not having 'exotic' travel stories to share, feeling ashamed of challenging established beliefs or societal norms, particularly those taught by educators or mentors, feeling uncomfortable or unqualified to share your knowledge or beliefs with others, fearing judgment or rejection, being excessively critical of your own beliefs or ideologies, leading to feelings of confusion or self-doubt, feeling guilty for being too rigid or intolerant in your beliefs while desiring a more open-minded perspective, and feeling ashamed of not measuring up to certain spiritual or philosophical standards set by others.

🥀 LILITH IN THE 10TH HOUSE : feeling embarrassed about who you look up to and your role models, feeling ashamed of your father or the way he acts, feeling insecure about the career you are pursuing, feeling guilty about how you climb the social ladder, feeling uncomfortable about using taboo or unconventional methods to increase your social status, feeling ashamed of your ambitions, fearing judgment from others for perceived superficiality, feeling guilty for being too focused on reputation, feeling overwhelmed by public failures and mistakes, feeling insecure about standing up to authority figures, feeling shame for wanting too much and being perceived as greedy, feeling burdened by the need to curate a specific professional image, feeling guilty for neglecting personal relationships in favor of career aspirations, feeling inadequate in your field and fearing a lack of expertise, feeling embarrassed about choosing non-traditional career paths, feeling overly concerned about public perception of your career choices, fearing being pigeonholed into a specific role, and feeling emotionally detached from your work while struggling with conflicts between personal values and professional obligations.

🥀 LILTH IN THE 11TH HOUSE : feeling embarrassed about your friends and the way you act around them, feeling insecure about your online personality and how you present yourself on social media, feeling ashamed of how you use technology and fearing judgment for your digital habits, feeling guilty for being too obsessed with online gaming or virtual communities, feeling uncomfortable about your interests and hobbies if they are seen as unconventional, feeling anxious about not fitting in with social groups or communities, fearing rejection or criticism from friends, feeling insecure about your contributions to group dynamics or collaborations, feeling overwhelmed by the pressure to conform to social norms within friendships, feeling ashamed of needing validation from peers, feeling guilty for having differing opinions or beliefs from your friend group, feeling hesitant to express your true self in social settings, feeling isolated despite being surrounded by others, as if you don’t truly belong, feeling pressured to engage in activities that don’t align with your values, feeling guilty for resisting peer pressure and worrying about the consequences on your friendships, struggling with the fear of disappointing friends by not living up to their expectations or demands, feeling overwhelmed by the complexities of group relationships, feeling ashamed if your beliefs about social issues don't align with those of your friends or peers, feeling embarrassed about having friends who are considered outsiders, feeling guilty for not keeping up with trends or fads that your friends are engaged in, worrying excessively about how you are perceived online, feeling insecure or jealous about your friends’ success and achievements, feeling pressured to compromise your values to maintain friendships, worrying that others may not view you as reliable or dependable, feeling self-conscious about unique personality traits or habits, and feeling disconnected from others in online communities despite frequent interaction.

🥀 LILITH IN THE 12TH HOUSE : fear of revealing your dreams and subconscious desires, shame around mental illness or struggles with mental health, insecurity about hidden fears or anxieties. guilt around spiritual beliefs or practices, especially if they’re unconventional, fear of being judged for retreating into isolation or needing alone time. overwhelm from emotions that are hard to express, shame around vulnerability and feeling the need to hide your true emotional state. fear of being misunderstood or judged for your inner world, shame about feeling disconnected from reality at times, guilt for engaging in escapist tendencies like drugs, alcohol, or other substances. fear of being perceived as weak for needing solitude or indulging in unhealthy coping mechanisms and addictions. fear of hidden enemies and betrayal, shame around being suspicious of others. insecurity around self-sabotage, feeling guilty for destructive patterns that hold you back. embarrassment about repressed memories or past traumas that surface unexpectedly. fear or shame around having psychic or intuitive abilities, worrying others will think you’re strange. fear of losing control of yourself emotionally or mentally, shame around emotional breakdowns. embarrassment or guilt around belief in past lives or karmic ties. insecurity about helping others or being overly compassionate in secretive ways. fear of hospitalization or institutionalization, and shame around the possibility of needing help in these areas. guilt over unexplained fears, phobias, or anxieties that seem irrational but still affect your life deeply.

banner/pic credits to the rightful owners

© cazshmere 2024 [All Rights Reserved]

[ssahotchnerr]

yes! i do!! you have jj’s role and an unsub is shot dead infront of you and his blood literally soaks you and you’re shaking and speechless and aaron’s focus is to get to you and keep you safe and bring you back to earth 🥲🥲

stay with me

cw; fem liasion!reader, protective!aaron, multiple blood descriptions, panic attack descriptions, no established relationship but aaron and reader are close, there's also one small mention of aaron's shirt being big on reader, fluff <3 wc; 1k

your ears are ringing. whether it's from the gunshot or the blatant shock, you have no idea.

you're frozen in place; everything's fuzzy, your body is buzzing and your lips, hands, everything is numb.

you're not used to this. this isn't what your job usually entails. you look at pictures like this, you don't live or experience it.

in the haze, someone's approached you. someone's talking to you. someone's embraced you. there's a hand on your back, an arm attempting to shield you away. but your feet don't move. internally, you're screaming at them to move.

why won't they move?

"hey," it's aaron. you don't hear him, or process that it's him, until he shakes you ever so gently and again, he says, "hey."

you don't want to be used to this.

"i..." you rigidly stand there, staring at the unsub laid in front of you, the pool of blood around him growing as the seconds pass. you think you're articulating words, but you're not sure.

aaron follows your eyes - he opens his mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. a swirl of emotions fill him - first and foremost, relief you're safe and unscathed, but also horror at what you just encountered - what you shouldn't have encountered.

"it's on me." you manage to choke out, feeling rather lightheaded as you view your shaky hands, and then your blouse, both spattered with red. it's on your neck, your face, and it's like you can feel every singular dot, singeing into your skin like it's bound to be permanent. a new fear fills you - will you ever be able to not feel it?

"don't look, just look at me." your head whips towards aaron, finding his gentle and concerned brown eyes. the sight allows your chest to loosen, finding the smallest bit of normalcy when it comes to breathing. you're remembering how to breathe.

aaron wants to bring the cuff of his sleeve to your skin, to wipe away the residue but he can't. he fears it would make it worse, and remind you again that it's littered on you - the last thing you needed. he wanted to calm you, not further panic you. "or better yet, just close them, sweetheart."

the term of endearment goes right past you, as you grip onto his vest, the sleeves of his shirt, anything your fingers can hold onto as he's guiding you out of the house. he's talking to the rest of the team, relaying instructions, but you only focus on keeping your eyes shut.

"it's okay, you're going to be just fine." aaron assures you, his voice low and even, soothing. "hear the leaves crunching under your feet? there's a cool breeze tonight, too. can you feel it?"

you nod gingerly. the sound is distant, but it's there. and just as he stated, you feel the cool air hit your cheeks, the wind also tousling your hair. it feels colder than cool, though, due to the stream of tears trailing downwards - have you been crying too? "i can hear it in the trees."

"that's good. how about smell, can you smell anything?"

copper.

aaron realizes his mistake the second the sentence leaves his mouth, your face paling as well as his.

"your aftershave." you blurt out, surprising yourself. despite the sheer panic, it was fairly easy to redirect your mind to him. your fingers clutched onto the fabric of his shirt more forcefully. "it smells spicy, sweet too. it smells like you. familiar. safe."

you resist the urge to tuck your face into him, but after a moment's thought, you do. you need it. you need him.

and to further secure you, aaron holds you to him, his large hand spanning the side of your head and keeping your face buried close to his chest.

your eyes open when you reach the suv; when the two of you come to a stop, when aaron's hold is suddenly absent, the sound of the door opening deeming it safe - far away from the scene.

but at the loss of his contact, involuntarily your eyes fall back to your blouse. it's stuck to your skin, soaked by the... blood.

"stay with me." aaron manages to grab your attention before you begin spiraling again, his hands lifting and hesitating. "may i?"

you nod, frantically and this time, you can feel the tears resurfacing. "please get it off me."

first, aaron unvelcros his vest, and then removes his tie, his dress shirt, leaving him in just his white tee. he drapes it over the passenger seat - at the ready.

aaron ushers you closer to the interior of the car so the open door fully covers you, blocking any view that isn't his. he unbuttons your blouse with gentle fingers, acting rather quickly as well. and respectfully, he averts his eyes - either looking strictly at his hands, the buttons on each shirt, or your face, checking in on you.

he helps you into his shirt, holding it open so you can slide your arms in. it envelopes you, and just as fast as he unbuttoned, he fastens it shut.

it feels as if a small weight is lifted off your shoulders, and aaron tosses your soiled shirt onto the ground in the backseat. he leads you to sit sideways in the passenger seat, facing him.

"i don't want to be alone." you don't know why that's the first thing to exit your mouth, but it is. your eyes lift to his, frightened and pleading.

aaron nods as he gets down on a knee, cupping your cheek with his hand. "you're sleeping in my room tonight."

"with you?"

with a stroke of his thumb, overtop those bloodstains he's desperate to wash and rid you from, he nods again. "with me."

[8housevenus]

sun sign & your charm

aries sun - you are charming in your assertion to your passions. you have such strong sense of direction and you reek of ambition. your ability to go after your hustles is admirable by others. you exude a natural confidence in your mannerisms. you appear almost as if you have no fears. people find you reliable and often look to you to get something done, they know you make a way out of no way. you are overcomers and overachievers. you have a striking aura and others can see that you know exactly what you want, your intentions are always visible because you express your heart's desires with no intent of backing down. good at holding your own and standing up for yourself as well as others. your charm can be intimidating, but respectable, nonetheless.

taurus sun - you are charming in your mannerisms, the way you put so much time and effort into your physical appearance is admirable. you take care of your wellbeing and your physicality. well-kept and tidy, you are a creative heart and pick up on your environment pretty well. it's easy for others to feel close to you or comfortable around you. very receptive and grounded; you are a visionary but also a realist. people often think you have more than you do, you convey a rich and clean energy about you. your politeness takes you a long way through life.

gemini sun - your charm stems from your words. it's what you say and how you say it that makes others feel so connected to you. you are slick, quick-minded, and find it easier to talk to anybody. your ability to improvise is admirable, you seem very comfortable in your expressions, and you learn something new from others while they learn something from you at the same time. the way you are able to be so loose and intelligent, you are very blessed with being able to go from rational and serious to fun and sarcastic. you are very good at mirroring qualities and finding ways to illuminate yours in your environment.

cancer sun - your charm stems from your vulnerability. your ability to analyze situations, pick up on others' emotions, and create a comfortable space to others is very admirable. you find ease in expressing your feelings and it is a very likable quality about you. you can relate to anybody and empathize very well. good at listening to others and articulating difficult feelings into words. you tend to be more private as an individual, but you don't mind stepping outside of your zone when somebody needs a shoulder to cry on or lay their head to laugh with. your familiarity to others generates warmth and ease.

leo sun - your charm comes from your inner-light, whenever you are doing what you love, you have a brightness that exudes from you. people love to see you happy, because you uplift others in the same sense. you have a youthful energy that helps you alleviate your emotional levels. the night is always so young with you, and as long as you're in the same vicinity as everyone else, they're able to get hype. you are good at building an experience for yourself and others, bringing attention naturally is one of your best qualities. you seem raw, self-made, and egotistical in a very commendable way. the way you put yourself first, others take a lot of inspiration from it.

virgo sun - you are charming from your discipline. you seem super put together, orderly, and resilient. the way you have a calm and collected demeanor is well-liked. your style is more modest, and you are liked for your honesty & cooperation. others can always ask you for your honest opinion and you can always tell it how it is. you're witty, friendly, and value order in your life. others can see that you are goal oriented and stay busy. not only that, but you are very giving in your environment. you can do workloads, and still feel like you can contribute more. people really admire all that you can do for yourself.

libra sun - your charm comes from your magnetic demeanor and aesthetic. your sense of individuality is very polarizing. you are a catch to many people who you come across. your fixations in your personal hobbies are admirable, and you maintain yourself very well. your need for order and balance is obvious, as you love to hyper fixate on appearing perfect sometimes. people like that you are vigilant to your physical appearance, always keeping a polished image. others take inspiration from your niches.

scorpio sun - your charm stems from your intensity. your willingness to trust your adrenaline rushes to bring you to the finish line, you are private and powerful in an admirable way. others can just look you in the eye and feel like there's a mystery that needs to be uncovered about you. being unknown and confident is what others find charming about you, many secret admirers, yet you probably already know this. strong-minded and analytical, you have an impeccable emotional drive.

sagittarius sun - you are charming from your optimism. the way you naturally get lucky in so many departments, others find very amusing about you. you try new things without many attachments and love growing in new areas. straightforward and honest, you are wise and seek new forms of abundance. you love to change and others find it very respectable about you. you take risks and accept failures much better than most, which is what ultimately helps you get back on your feet again. you can alleviate and humor situations, very lighthearted and easy to like by others.

capricorn sun - your charm comes from your success. from a young age, you have always been seen as successful or conquerors of struggle. you have a serious and more resilient mannerism about you; however it is respectable by others because you navigate life with the intention of elevating to bigger levels. others feel like you are set for life. your mental agility to think things through and evaluate what others want from you is a strong quality that represents you. you're reliable, premeditated, and structured-well. others admire your approach to any form of work and how prompt you are to finish endeavors compared to anybody else.

aquarius sun - you are charming from your differences. others see you as a gamechanger in humanity, you bring new shifts and ideas to the table. your ability to change the dynamics of your environment is admirable about you, you are able to break free from patterns and cycles much easier than others. you have strong individuality and have a good understanding of life and other aspects of it. the way you can really affect the trajectory of long-lasting traditions is commendable. people like you because you always aim for the betterment of others and yourself.

pisces sun - you're charming in your knowledge. you accumulate so much just from your intuition and interactions. others find you very needed in their environment, because you bring a sense of knowing that not even, they can grasp. you are naturals in your art and understanding your psyche. others admire how trustable you are and your diplomacy to the spaces you enter. the way you can base your decisions off of just your feelings is more powerful than you think, it is a gift that you can back yourself better than others. you are fueled by creativity and imagination; other people love your wishful thinking and your mediative energy.

[bucksangel]

Honeysuckle

pairing: alpha!steve x alpha!bucky, alpha!steve x artist!omega!reader x alpha!bucky (poly) - omegaverse!au pt. 3

word count: 4k

summary: “Honey,” Bucky sighs wistfully, falling into your embrace while Steve stands behind you with his arms around your waist and helping you not fall over under Bucky’s hulking frame. You don’t mind though, you’d happily die by being crushed under their weight if it meant you could touch them, and have them touch you. Caressing you, kissing you, adoring you the way only they can. And despite your earlier hesitation, you wouldn’t pass up the chance to brighten up your Alphas day for anything. And their grateful kisses and pleased rumbles let you know that you did just that.

or - your Alphas take such good care of you. their mere presence brightens up your day, so when your Alphas have a rough day you take it upon yourself to show them how good of an Omega you can be, that you can provide for them too.

warnings: 18+, mild suggestive thoughts, i apologize to ur dentists bc there’s so much fluff it might give you a toothache, omega is very shy and awkward but steve and bucky are fond and patient, fluff, kissing, tw for steve using 2-in-1 shampoo and conditioner, tiny bit of hurt/comfort, bucky needs some lovin’

a/n: this is dedicated to the loml @buckysbarne and @buckysprettybaby who also helped beta <3

milk and honey masterlist | main masterlist | tip jar

“Babe -“ Bucky sighs, his head hanging low and hands clenched into tight fists. “I’ll be okay.”

Steve huffs, walking up to his boyfriend and wrapping one arm around his Alphas waist, cupping his cheek with his other hand.

“It’s okay, she’ll understand,” Steve whispers softly, leaning forward and placing a delicate kiss on his mate’s forehead before pulling back and guiding Bucky to look up at him. He quickly dips his head to kiss Bucky’s lips.

“What if she doesn’t?” Bucky mumbles, shame and embarrassment flooding his body.

Why can’t he just be normal?

The day started horribly; Bucky woke up at around seven in the morning from a particularly harrowing nightmare. He hasn’t had one of those in a while, so it was very unwelcoming. This one, unlike other nightmares he’s had, was terrifying in a way he’d never felt.

He knows they’re gone, that Hydra and its agents have been obliterated, but that doesn’t mean Bucky doesn’t occasionally get anxious over the ‘what ifs’ of any potential harm Steve could go through should Hydra get him.

This ‘what if’ manifested in the form of you getting captured too. Even if he and Steve haven’t mated with you yet, they both know in their bones that you were crafted by any gods that exist to complete them. And the thought of you and Steve getting taken from him is far worse than anything Hydra could ever do to him.

Steve had to shake him awake, and he hadn’t been able to stop crying long enough to explain what had happened. After ten minutes of shaking and sobbing into his mate’s chest, he was finally able to articulate the horrifying images that now plague his mind, Steve had held him close, and he had kissed his cheeks and forehead and hairline, all while cooing words of affirmation and love.

The day only got worse from there. After the dream, it started with small things; he burned his hand while trying to make coffee - then spilled the coffee all over his favorite shirt. He ran out of his shampoo and had to use Steve’s - and, listen, Bucky is fully convinced that he survived Hydra because the universe wanted them together again, but Steve could definitely use some better shower products. The whole ‘two-in-one’ thing just doesn’t cut it for Bucky.

But then they had to meet up with their teammates for a briefing over a mission that Bucky is really not excited about, and found out the original one-day mission was going to be three days. Three whole days without you? Luckily Steve is coming with him, but then he thought about you being without both of them and started getting anxious. Now, even though you all haven’t been together for long, and they both know you can handle yourself, they detest the idea of leaving you for an extended period.

They’d managed to sneak in a few texts to you. Wishing you a good day at work, sending heart emojis when you send them a picture of a cute dog you saw while walking to the studio - Sam and Natasha spent a long time trying to get the men to understand modern language - and sending you pictures of them while they were too bored to listen to Tony talk.

But then they went to a coffee shop intending to grab their coffee and rush back to their apartment to get a few things so they could pick you up from work and take you to the new ice cream shop that opened up a few blocks from your studio. Dark clouds came rushing overhead while they were waiting for their drinks, and they decided to wait out the storm in a corner booth.

But people were staring, giving them - mainly Bucky - nervous glances, and a few people at the table next to them ate quicker than someone usually would and then placed a wad of cash on the table before rushing out.

Suddenly the idea of getting ice cream doesn’t sound so appealing.

Steve noticed because he’s so attuned to his mate that he knows Bucky is dejected, Bucky is hurt, he’s tired. Tired of people still judging him. Tired of being accused of things that he had no control over. They didn’t stay long, deciding that getting soaked while racing home was better than being in a place that’s now making Bucky feel unsafe.

Bucky’s been fighting with himself ever since they got home and changed out of their wet clothes. He wants to spend time with you more than anything, and you’ve been excited about this date ever since they told you, and Bucky will be damned if he doesn’t give you anything you want. But he really doesn’t think he can handle being in public right now.

His body is hurting with how bad he’s trying to force the negativity out of his mind enough so he can enjoy being with you, but it’s hard. And Steve telling him that you’ll understand that he can’t go out breaks him. His fists clench tighter.

Bucky wants to be normal for you. He wants to go out with his mates and not get worried about getting less-than-friendly looks at the three of you.

“I’m going to call her,” Steve says calmly, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend and pulling him in tight while Bucky’s body starts to shake with how badly he wants to cry. “I’ll call her and I’ll tell her that you’re not feeling well, but we’ll go to her studio tomorrow for lunch. Okay?”

Bucky takes a deep, shaky breath before nodding, trying his hardest to not blame himself when he imagines the look on your face as Steve tells you they have to cancel. Steve kisses his mate's forehead and then untangles himself so he can get his phone.

It doesn’t take long for you to answer, and Bucky can hear your chipper “Hi Stevie!” and suddenly he wants to cry harder. He also hears Steve telling you that Bucky isn’t feeling well and that they’ll come visit you tomorrow. You go quiet for a moment before asking Steve to pass the phone to your other Alpha. And when Bucky mumbles, “Hey, honey,” he knows you can hear that he’s holding back tears.

“Hi, Alpha,” Your sweet voice immediately fills him with warmth, images of your smile filling his head. “You’re not feeling well?”

“No,” Bucky clears his throat, trying to force himself to not feel bad about it. “I’m really sorry, honey. I promise we’ll make it up to you.”

You pause, and suddenly Bucky is worried that you’re mad. But before his mind can spiral into more negative thoughts, your voice - soft and shy - asks if he’s home. And when he tells you that he is, you simply say “good,” and then hang up.

Well, fuck. Bucky tries to convince himself that you’re not upset, but Steve can see that it’s not working well. And at his boyfriend's suggestion of a nap, he trudges upstairs, lying down in bed and wishing upon every star in the universe that you’ll forgive him.

____________

When you heard that Bucky wasn’t feeling well you immediately thought of the worst. Is he sick? Well, that doesn’t make sense, he’s a super soldier after all. Is he hurt? That’s a possibility, their jobs are tough.

Does he… not want to see you? As soon as that thought crosses your mind, you dismiss it. Bucky and Steve have shown over and over that they like you and want to be with you. The word ‘love’ flashes through your mind but you dismiss that as well. It’s too soon, right?

No matter what’s actually going on, you know you need to make him feel better. As soon as you hung up the phone you gathered everything you needed to make apple pies. But then you faltered, what if he doesn’t like apple pie? Well, you have things to make brownies, and you know both Alphas love them. So you took out everything needed to make brownies with the intention of bringing them over when they were done.

But then a thought popped up. Would they even want you in their house? There were a few times when you told them they could come inside your apartment while you finished getting ready for a date night, but they politely declined. You hadn’t thought much of it at the time, but now you’re worried you might be crossing a line.

You’ve just put the mixture in the oven when you decide that you’ll just drop them off and then leave. You don’t want to make them uncomfortable, especially since Bucky isn’t feeling well. While the brownies cook, you run to your bedroom to change into somewhat presentable clothes. You don’t bother getting all dressed up since you’re not going anywhere but your Alphas’ place, and even then you won’t be staying long.

By the time the dessert is done and put into a container, you’ve talked yourself in and out of going several times. Finally, after several minutes of having a mild freak-out, you gather the courage to gather your things and get in your car.

The entire drive has you a little on edge, though you know you have to do it. Not necessarily out of obligation, but because you want to make your Alpha’s happy. They’re always doing little things for you; buying you new plush blankets, getting you food on their way to visit your studio, Steve had even given you a sweater that both he and Bucky regularly wear - fully knowing and hoping you’ll use it for your nest.

Those men make you happier than anyone else ever could, you relish in their praise, your whole body lit up in flames whenever they get all sweet on you - which is all the time, neither man can resist kissing you, hugging you, telling you how you’re the sweetest Omega to ever exist.

They make you happy, and you will do everything you can to make them happy too. You want to be the perfect Omega for them, to show them that you can provide for them too, and that thought is what fuels you to park outside of their house and gather everything.

Your confidence wanes when you get to the front door, anxious again that the Alphas would be upset that you came over. You don’t even get a chance to think about leaving because the door opens wide, and Steve stands there with a smile.

“Honey,” He says, giving you that same longing gaze he always gives you. His eyes travel down to the container you’re holding, his smile growing wider while you cast your eyes down to the floor nervously. “What is that?”

A part of you wants to laugh, you know his heightened sense of smell can already figure it out. You don’t though, you merely shuffle on the porch nervously.

“W-Well I - um… I know Bucky isn’t feeling well, and I wanted to drop off some brownies for you guys.” Your eyes suddenly go wide, a small panicked noise leaving your lips. “Which I just now realized is probably not a good thing for Bucky to eat right now.”

You kind of want to smack your forehead. You were so focused on trying to be helpful that you didn’t even think of what would actually help Bucky feel better. Sensing your growing panic, Steve hums softly, reaching out and taking the dessert from your hands.

“That’s really sweet, honey,” Steve purrs, transferring the container to one hand so he can take your hand in his free one. “Thank you.”

An unexpected squeak leaves your lips, warmth filling your body as you squeeze Steve’s hand and smile up at him shyly.

“Y-You’re welcome, Stevie.” Your voice is soft, nearly indiscernible except for your Alpha with his advanced hearing. “Um, just… I guess you can text me later and tell me how they taste?” It’s phrased as an uncertain question because you don’t want to make him feel like he has to, but you desperately hope he does. You need their praise more than air.

“You’re not staying?”

That question has your head snapping up so you can look at him directly, your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you take in his equally confused gaze.

“I - um. I guess I just thought you wouldn’t want me to. I mean, you never want to come in my house, so I just figured you wouldn’t want me in yours.” Your voice comes out shakier than you’d like, and the hope that he’d invite you in is creeping up. “Which is fine! You - you don’t have to, and I don’t want to make you guys uncomfortable, especially since Bucky isn’t feeling well.”

Steve sighs, his scent souring a little as though he’s disappointed, and now you’re anxious over possibly saying something wrong. But when he senses your growing panic, he tugs on your hand until you follow him inside. And immediately, the aroma of both Bucky and Steve’s scent calms you down.

“Of course we want you here, sweet Omega.” Steve smiles at you again, pulling you further into the house until you get to the kitchen not far from the entryway. He drops your hand so he can place the food on the counter. The Alpha quickly moves toward you, wrapping you in his arms and pulling you into his chest. Plush, soft lips land on the top of your head, and they linger there for a few moments.

As though he sensed your arrival, Bucky comes rushing into the kitchen with a wide smile.

“Omega,” He says, walking toward you and Steve with purpose so he can wrap around you too.

“Our sweet girl brought us some brownies since you aren’t feeling well.” You can hear the smile in Steve’s voice, and they both release their hold on you so you can turn around and face Bucky.

Bucky goes silent, and when you place your hands on his chest you can feel how his heart rate picks up. And after a few moments of simply staring into your eyes, his smile softens, his body relaxing.

“Oh, honey,” Bucky sighs wistfully, falling into your embrace while Steve stands behind you with his arms around your waist and helping you not fall over under Bucky’s hulking frame. You don’t mind though, you’d happily die by being crushed under their weight if it meant you could touch them, and have them touch you. Caressing you, kissing you, adoring you the way only they can. And despite your earlier hesitation, you wouldn’t pass up the chance to brighten up your Alphas’ day for anything. And their grateful kisses and pleased rumbles let you know that you did just that.

“Thank you,” Bucky mumbles into your neck as he presses soft and chaste kisses to the area. “You’re perfect.”

You can’t help the nervous chuckle that passes through your lips, nor can you stop yourself from shaking your head, immediately trying to deny it. While you love praise, specifically theirs, you don’t really feel like you deserve it sometimes. How can these two perfect Alpha’s possibly be interested in you? You’re not too sure why they like you, but you try not to think too hard about it. You don’t want to overthink everything and spiral into self-doubt, which would then lead you to sabotage the relationship, and you absolutely don’t want that.

“I-It’s nothing, really. I just want to make you feel better.” Your voice is small and shy, and you cast your eyes downward when Bucky pulls away from you to look at you with such intensity that it makes your entire body go warm. Your heartbeat speeds up when Steve steps back too and moves so he can stand beside Bucky and look at you directly.

“It’s not nothing, baby,” Steve sighs, reaching out and placing a large hand on the back of your neck and turning your head upwards so he can hold your gaze, and it’s absolutely impossible to suppress the shiver that runs down your spine. Oh, how you want to feel his hands on… other parts of your body.

“It’s thoughtful,” Bucky adds, lightly squeezing your hips. “We mean it; thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” You say softly, smiling at both of them and reaching out to place your hands on each Alpha’s chests. In a quick and bold move, you lean up on your toes to place a gentle kiss on Steve’s lips, then move over to Bucky.

Bucky, however, decides a single peck isn’t enough. Steve keeps his hand on the back of your neck and angles your head so it’s easier for Bucky to slide his tongue along your bottom lip and take advantage of your surprised squeak by slipping his tongue into your mouth. He swallows your little gasps and sighs, snaking his arms around your waist to pull your body flush against his.

The intensity of the kiss comes to a halt when Steve’s stomach rumbles. You and Bucky break apart with breathless chuckles, turning to look at Steve’s sheepish expression.

“Sorry,” He laughs, sliding his hand from your neck to the side of your face, and he smiles wider when you nuzzle and kiss his palm. “We haven’t eaten since this morning.”

“I can cook for you!” You say quickly, surprised with yourself by how fast you were to offer. You’re not the best cook, but depending on what food they have you’re pretty sure you whip up something presentable. Plus, your inner Omega is just aching to please them.

“You don’t need to do that, honey,” Bucky says, stepping back but keeping one hand on your back. “We can just order something.”

“Please?” You ask softly, smiling up at him and using the fact that he can never say no to your pout to your advantage. “I want to.”

Both men sigh, fully knowing that they could never deny you anything you want. So, they both nod, stepping aside so you can go to their fridge.

“You can just make something easy, it doesn’t matter to us.” Steve kisses your forehead, then smiles as he turns to look at Bucky while you go about finding something to cook. Pulling him in close, Steve quickly kisses Bucky’s lips and murmurs, “Told ya she’d understand.”

____________

“Told ya she’d understand.”

Steve chuckles when Bucky playfully shoves his elbow into his Alpha’s stomach. And Steve absolutely cannot stop himself from kissing Bucky again. And one more time. He can’t help it though, Bucky was feeling so awful earlier, and seeing his genuine smile and sparkling eyes fills him with happiness.

“Shut up, punk,” Bucky mumbles with a playful roll of his eyes, wiggling out of Steve’s hold so he can go sit at the kitchen island. Steve follows him, muttering “jerk” low under his breath as he sits next to Bucky.

The two men sit side by side, both with love-stricken gazes and twinkling eyes as they watch you flit around the kitchen happily, grabbing things here and there. They aren’t too sure what exactly you’re making, but it starts smelling good in no time. But the underlying scent of happiness coming from all three of you is what really strikes Bucky’s heart.

And in no time at all the food has been finished, and you make sure to pile their plates full of the food.

“I know spaghetti is boring, but I added a few spices so I hope you like it.” Your voice is soft and shy as you present them with their plates, and your rapidly beating heart showcases your nerves. You’re desperately hoping they like it - maybe praise you a bit for taking care of them.

“We’ll love it,” Steve says quickly, getting off the chair and walking up to you with a wide smile. “We’ll love anything you make us, honey.”

The squeak you let out makes both Alphas chuckle, giving you such soft gazes that makes you want to bare your neck to them in submission. With that, Steve and Bucky take their food and guide you to the couch in the living room, being careful as they sit down while Bucky pulls you into his lap.

They take time eating, occasionally feeding you despite your assurances that you already ate before you came over. They don’t care though, because they’ll be damned if they don’t dote on you for making them feel better.

And when the food has been eaten, Bucky gives you a glare when you offer to do dishes. “You’ve worked hard enough, honey,” Bucky tells you, wrapping his arms tighter around you to keep you in place.

It’s at that moment that Bucky realizes that this, the three of you under one roof, on one couch, is what home is for him. With you in his lap and Steve cuddled into his side, he knows that he’s the luckiest guy in the world, how can’t he be? He has his Alpha; the greatest love of his life, and you; the sweetest Omega to ever exist who’s teaching Bucky how to be happy in ways he never thought possible.

He doesn’t even realize he’s crying until you make a slightly distressed sound, your hands coming up to cup his cheek.

“Buck?” Steve coos, bringing up a hand so he can run his finger through his mate’s hair. “What’s wrong?”

Bucky sniffles, shaking his head as he wipes his eyes, then takes hold of one of your hands so he can kiss your knuckles. He smiles, so soft and sweet and innocent, smiling wider when Steve presses a kiss to his cheek.

“It’s stupid,” Bucky says with a quiet huff and shrugs. “I just… Today was shit, like, awful. And I’ve been happy all these years with Steve by my side, but other than right now, the only time I can remember feeling this happy was when I was finally reunited with him.”

Bucky briefly glances over at Steve, giving him that soft and adoring look he always gives him, then looks back at you and holds your gaze.

“You make me happy, Omega.”

Your eyes go wide, a soft gasp escaping your lips. Because, while you don’t know everything about what’s transpired in their lives and relationship, you know that it must be a pretty big deal for him to say this. And it fills you with a feeling dangerously close to love, but you can’t help it. Bucky’s been through the depths of hell and back, and he deserves everything good in the world. And you being able to give him some of that goodness just makes you want to cry.

“You-“ You cut yourself off, clearing your throat to suppress the waver in your voice. “You make me happy too. Both of you.”

“Good, Omega,” Steve purrs, reaching across Bucky to give you a tender kiss.

And when you break away from Steve, you turn to give Bucky a kiss as well, and Bucky? Well, Bucky is pretty sure (re: totally confident) that he loves you. He knows Steve does too, which makes everything easier. Knowing that they’re on the same page about their feelings for you gives him reassurance that maybe this could work out.

He wants to mate with you, he wants to be with you in every way possible. And when you pull away and smile at your Alphas with that sweet and tender way you always do, he thinks that maybe, just maybe, you want that too.

So who can really blame him when Bucky asks, “Will you mate with us?”

From next to him, Steve doesn’t visibly react, though his heartbeat speeding up and the flush creeping up on his face tells Bucky that he wants that too - they’ve also spoken about it in length, so he knows he’s not just speaking for himself.

All the two men can do now is wait for your answer with bated breaths. It comes only a half of a second later.

“Of course.”

m&h masterlist: @the-ginger-fairy-artist / @supernovatardis / @perdidosbucky-yyo / @wckedheart / @kandis-mom / @wandaneedstherapy / @bigcreatorwombatdreamer / @venusfly11 / @buckybarnesmetalarmswife775 / @the-photo-hoe / @matsumama / @fandoms-writings / @thornsnvultures / @sadboiabby / @lily-excal / @alright-i-guesss / @blondie-bluue / @loveforreading / @marvel-wifey-86 / @wheezy-stucky / @exposition-belongs-somewhere / @stuckysbike / @starkblackwolf / @caitlink26 / @dreaming-potato / @lethargicluv / @perfectlyboring / @monicachic13 / @akmenia / @shawnftjacob / @hc-kerr / @iamfandomwasted / @wizardofstories / @emerald-writes / @matchat3a  / @mollygetssherlockcoffee / @normalgirlnextdoor / @lolitsbuckybarnes / @rippedpiece / @biteofcherry

main taglist: @lilyalone / @crazyunsexycool / @goldylions / @yeehawbrothers / @buckyssweetheart

[paulyenvol6]

Punishment

Jackson!Joel x female reader

You have angered Joel and now have to face the consequences...

Contains: smut, spanking as a punishment, description of pain, fingering (f receiving), daddy kink, size difference, crying, little bit of angst, use of nicknames like babygirl and princess, fluff, sweetness overload, soft dom!Joel, subby and needy reader, aftercare

Wordcount: 4,528

Masterlist

The sound of Joel's heavy footsteps reverberated against the wall, and your eyes appeared to become more round with each step he took.

You were sat with your back facing him which only gave you more anxiety, but at the same time you felt too scared to turn around. Suddenly, he stopped and it drove you insane because you weren't able to meisure how close he was so you flinched when a large hand came to rest on your shoulder.

"Shh," he made, the sound of his voice only making you more aware of what was about to happen so you felt tears pooling on your waterline.

"Shhh," he whispered again and then ran his hand down your arm. "I'm sorry I'm gonna have to do this, babygirl. You know I don't like it. But you also know that I have to do it, don't you?"

You gave him a slight nod, entangling your hands in your lap and taking a deep breath.

"Yes."

"Tell me why," Joel demanded and brought his second hand to your other arm, gently stroking your hair over your shoulder, but something about the motion made you think it was also a warning.

"Because I misbehaved. And I have to be punished for it."

Joel hummed and trailed his hands down to your elbows where he softly rubbed your skin before his hands slipped to your waist, tracing the side of your breasts with his thumb.

"Tell me what you've done wrong, princess. I wanna know that you're gonna learn from your mistake."

You swallowed hard. This was the worst part because you knew that the expand of his punishment depended on how well you would be able to articulate your wrongdoings and satisfy his angered mind. You had to tell him what he wanted to hear and make sure you already showed him how sorry you were.

"I-I… I was being irresponsible. And mindless. I spent the – the whole night talking to these guys a-and I drank alcohol with them and didn't text you."

Your voice was shaking and you were stuttering in nervousness, but you thought that it might be just what Joel wanted. Showing him how awful and anxious you felt might make him content.

"And why doesn't daddy like it?" he now hissed as his hands reached around your torso to cup your breasts.

"B-Because… Because you just wanna take care of me. And protect me. A-And when I don't text you and drink without you, you – you can't do that."

You whimpered feeling him twist your nipple through your shirt which elicited a deep growl in him.

"That's right. All I want is take care of my pretty girl. Shield her from all the horror in the world. And keep lusty, vile boys away from her who are only after her for one thing and treat her badly."

His big calloused hands ran over the swell of your breast, trailing along your collarbone and then palming your waist again. You softly moaned, your brows tensing and your body starting to relax beneath his touch.

"I'm doing this for you, babygirl. I want my little girl to always feel good and it hurts me to see you sad or frustrated or in pain. Especially when it's 'cause of me. So there you have it… I'm doin' it so you learn to be a good girl and don't repeat your mistakes. It's the only way to make you learn."

You softly nodded although your mind that was so taken by the touch of his hands threatened to drift elsewhere. But Joel, who sensed the way you were beginning to surrender to him soon put a stop to it and withdrew his hands from your body. Without a word he walked around the couch and sank down on it with a quiet groan, the sofa cushions creaking under his weight. Then he petted his thigh.

"Ass up."

It was all the command you needed. Despite your wobbly knees that felt like jelly, you crawled toward him as fast as possible and climbed to lay on top of his thighs, your stomach touching his knees and your ass up high just like he had requested it. You knew what was coming and you knew that it was going to hurt. But part of you, a whiny and longing part of you, just felt good being so close to him, his legs firm beneath you and his hands stroking up and down your back.

He pulled up your top, revealing your bare skin, and then traced a circle on your butt through your short jogging pants.

"I want you to count. An' I want you to be vocal. Give me a good reason to forgive you, alright, babygirl?"

You turned your head, meeting his gaze with big doe eyes that you knew Joel loved to see and nodded.

"Yes, daddy. I'm sorry."

You were off to a good start, you knew that. As much as he knew what worked on you, you had grown to know him pretty well, too. Especially when he was angry with you, he liked to see your submissiveness, your obedience to remind him that you were his and that you would take what he gave you without hesitation.

"Face down. And don't you cry, princess. You know that daddy grows all soft on you when he sees your pretty tears. And you and me both have to be tough right now."

He cradled your head, running his fingers through your silky hair before brushing it to the side to kiss a tender kiss to the back of your neck.

"You're just gonna take it like a good girl, make me really proud and happy and then I'm gonna make you feel good, okay?"

You nodded again, your nose nudging against the sofa as you prepared yourself for the inevitable sting spreading on your backside. But before that could happen, Joel had to remove the remaining pieces of clothing hiding you from him and so he did that with slow, but deliberate movements, all while whispering sweet nothings in your ear.

"I know you're gonna take it so well, princess… And don't you forget that daddy hates to see you in pain and you don't want daddy to feel bad, do ya? So you better behave yourself next time so I don't have to punish you again."

"Yes, daddy," you whimpered, your voice a lot more unstable now, but you had to be good now and not tap out before he had even started.

Faster than you were able to register your pants and underwear were off and a cool breeze touched your naked backside as lightly as a feather. If only his hands would come down on you in a similar way, you thought almost melancholically. Joel was slow and vague in his motions, but you almost considered it cruel. His large palms rubbed your cheeks, pressing down and kneading your flesh like he intended to give you a nice treatment although the both of you knew what was about to happen. That was why the first hit came as such a surprise that you shrieked.

His left had still soothingly caressed your butt which was why you hadn't even noticed his right hand leaving your skin and strike out to smack your bottom. You screeched, but it quickly turned into a whimper, your legs trembling and your body jerking away from him, had Joel not held you securely in his grip.

"Shhh, babygirl. It's alright…"

He rubbed where his hand had come down and traced your shoulderblades with his left hand to distract you from the pain.

"Count," he then said, his voice soft and quiet, but still uncompromising in his order.

"O-One," you stuttered, your eyes squeezing shut as this first slap had been enough to make you fear the upcoming minutes, but somehow Joel still managed to make you strive to be good for him. No, not good, perfect. His perfect princess.

The next hit wasn't as forceful, the sting barely comparable with the first one, but your sensitive skin, that was now already sore and red from the first, horrible strike wasn't helping. You whined and wailed, the cushions not supressing your noises entirely and had you been able to see Joel's face, you would have noticed a deep crease between his brows.

"Two," you whispered, already fearing that he would correct you and demand for you to speak louder, but fortunately he let it slide.

"Good girl," he praised you and gently squeezed the flesh of your thigh.

"I know it hurts, but daddy's gonna make it better later. You just need to go through this now and I know it's not comfortable, but we both know that you deserve it, ain't that right?"

A new slap landed on your backside at his last word and this one reminded you more of the first one, your hips buckling and your body cringing at the sharp ache spreading in your thighs and back.

"Y-Yes…," you sobbed, your mind too far gone to remember that he had asked you to hold back your tears, but what were you to do?

"Three," you quickly added and grabbed a pillow a few inches away from your head to bury your fingers in the soft cotton and find some release.

Simultaneously, you lifted your head to search for his gaze and perhaps find some comfort and love in his eyes, but before you could even make out his face through the veil of tears, Joel had already pressed your head down again.

Four.

Five.

Six.

You didn't even know how you were able to count because you felt that your full attention was focused on bearing the pain and finding a way not to tap out and ask him to stop, but you managed to press out the word after each slap and even attached a little 'I'm sorry, daddy' from time to time.

You were at 11 when Joel finally stopped for a moment and rested his flat palm on your red cheeks that were glowing with his handprint while his left hand carefully yanked your head to the side so he could take a look at your tear-stained face.

"You're doing so wonderful, baby. You see? We're almost done. How much more do you think you deserve?"

Crying, and your body shaking under your sobs, you brought your thumb to your lips to nibble at it while your pupils frantically danced over his face for any sign of what kind of answer he was expecting from you right now. Did he want the truth? Did he want to hear that you felt that you had gotten enough and deserved a break?

"I d-don't know, daddy," you ended up whispering, your voice broken and quiet as if your body was too exhausted to have the strength to raise your voice.

But through all the pain and frustration, there was something else that was almost more taunting. You hadn't even noticed it, but when you shifted your hips, you felt a sticky wetness connecting the insides of your thighs, the smacking sound not lost on Joel either, but he was yet to comment on it. That was for later when you were done.

"How about we do 4 more? Then we have 15. I think that's a suitable number."

You hesitated, your eyes wide as you were still trying to figure out whether this was a trap and he was actually waiting for you to tell him that you thought you deserved more, but his eyes looked soft and truthful and honestly, Joel was much too sweet and caring to fool you like that. So you nodded and crouched closer to his lap where you could feel a prominent bulge pressing up against your stomach.

"Okay, babygirl. We're gonna do it nice 'n' slow. I know it's already been a lot, but we're gonna get through the rest as well, alright? And you remember that I'm not doin' this for no reason, mhm?"

His finger traced the outline of the handprint that was a deep red compared to the rest of your heated pink skin and you jolted away when he briefly squeezed your flesh like a reminder that you were yet to give him an answer.

"Y-Yes. I know, daddy. And I'm sorry, I… I know I m-messed up and I… I'm really sorry."

Tears were drenching the cushions, but Joel didn't care. He just watched you with a sigh, his eyebrows lifted and his heart pounding in his chest as he hit you again with no warning. He wanted to get this over with as quickly as possible because he hadn't lied when had said that this wasn't a great pleasure for him either. Yes, he was horny and yes, he couldn't wait to touch you between your legs where a pooling heat was waiting for him, but your tears and sobs were a turn-off for him.

The last four spankings happened fast and Joel didn't even stop or punish you further when you forgot to count. By the end, your face was buried right next to his thigh and your fingers grasped at the fabric of his jeans while Joel calmly rubbed your skin that was raw and throbbing with hot sorrow. It was prickling and pulsing, like flames dancing across your backside and although Joel's hand were gentle and careful, even he couldn't fight off the ache. Perhaps he didn't want that, though. Maybe he wanted to give you a reminder of your mistakes for the next few days, so that you would think about them every time you sat down.

"Shhh, babygirl… Yes, that's right, just relax…," he purred, cradling your head and loosely brushing over your back and ass in turns.

"You did it, princess. And you were so good for daddy… Daddy's really proud of you. You made him really happy… You think you can turn around for me?"

You melted at the sound of his voice, a low rasp threading through his words that felt like honey coating your sore body. It awakened a need to be closer to him which was why you followed his voice and turned your head.

"There ya go…," he instantly praised you and brought a hand that felt like the size of a bear paw to your face to gently cup it. He wiped away the drops of tears with his thumb until your face was clean and only then cleared his throat.

"How are you feelin', princess? Talk to daddy."

Your lips formed a pout as you stared into space, your mind too blank to figure it out on your own which was why Joel chuckled lowly.

"You need water? Or food? A hot bath?"

You thought about it for a moment, but were quickly distracted by the desire simmering between your legs, the heat blooming in your belly, but making its way up to your chest where your nipples were hard and stiff against Joel's clothed thigh.

"Need… You," you coughed and tightened your grip on his jeans.

"How do you need me, princess? Need to talk to me in order for me to make it better."

He exhaled as you were yet unable to give him clear instructions and slid his hand over your side.

"C'mon now, baby. Do you need me to fuck you? Or finger you? Or… eat your 'lil pussy? Or do you just wanna cuddle? I want my perfect princess to feel good now so whatever it is, baby, I'll give it to ya."

A warm shudder went to your body at his words, the comfort and love in his voice drowning out every feeling of discomfort all of a sudden. It was like the ache was long gone even though it was still lingering in your limbs and stretching across your ass like an unstoppable wildfire, but there were more important things to focus on now.

"Don't want you to fuck me. Want your fingers, daddy," you muttered and Joel rejoiced, hearing your voice that was thin and sounded like you were on the verge of crying, but at least you were communicating with him.

"Okay, babygirl. Daddy's gonna give you his fingers. Do you mind turning on your back though?"

A loud cry of resistance immediately escaped your mouth at the questions, the thought of your ass touching the couch painful in your head, but Joel leaned in to kiss the side of your head right next to your ear.

"Now, now… I'm not gonna make you do anythin' you don't like, love. As I said, I want you to feel good now… 'Cause you took your punishment so well. But I can't reach your sweet pussy very well if you're on your stomach. C'mon, let's just give it a try."

What were you supposed to say about that? You pursed your lips, your eyes round and prepared for the sting to fully return, but Joel was so careful when he took hold of your waist and eased you into a turn. He firmly held on to you and lowered you so slowly that you only twitched for a moment when your ass connected with the surface of the couch, but as quick as the pain had shot through your flesh, it already vanished again.

"Good girl," he coaxed, quickly gliding a hand between your legs as if to distract you from any discomfort you might feel.

"Mhmmm she's droolin' for me," Joel breathed as he trailed two fingers through your slit and felt all logic drown under his unimaginable desire to feel more of you. Bury his fingers inside of you, squeeze out more of your sweet noises and become one with you. He traced your pussy lips, coating them with your arousal and then circled your hole, not quite giving in yet and focus on your throbbing clit.

His eyes were on your pussy, but his left hand had started to play with your chest that was heaving heavily and looked so delicate and pretty from this view. He rolled your nipples between his fingers, drew patterns across the swell of your breasts and kneaded them with his palms which felt so good that you fell into a hazy, drowsy bubble of pleasure, embracing and hugging you like warm sunshine prickling on your skin on a lazy afternoon in the garden.

"Daddy," you whimpered and closed your legs around his wrist when he finally connected his thumb with your clit for the first time. Your sore butt caused you to lay completely flat and motionless because any shifting or buckling would create irritating friction with the couch. That was why you had to withstand his teasing and taunts without being able to do anything about it. He was so terribly slow and careful like he was doing it for your well-being although all you wanted was for him to rub your clit with two fingers and give you what you certainly knew he was capable of giving you.

"Daddy," you whinged and clung to the wrist of his left hand.

"I know, babygirl… I'm gonna give it to ya. Just need you to be a little patient, okay? It's gonna be nice, you're gonna like it. I promise."

He gave you a genuine smile and you honestly couldn't find anything mocking about it so you kept your next words to yourself and instead chose to close your eyes. The corner of Joel's lips curled as he looked between your beautiful, but very tense face and your pussy.

He watched you precisely when he eventually gave you a little more and circled your swollen clit – still slowly, but right where it itched so badly. You yelped and buried your fingers in his underarm, but it turned into a 'fuck' when your backside brushed over the couch, your hips too eager to remember the state of your cheeks.

"Easy, babygirl," Joel soothed you and suddenly prodded two fingers into your quivering hole, sighing as your tight walls fluttered around his digits and his dick twitching when he imagined it wasn't his hand, but his manhood stretching you.

"Jesus…" Joel cursed under his breath and sped up the pace at which he was drawing his thumb around your clitoris. His movements were sloppier now that his mind was clouded by hunger and lust, but he was still so skillful and attentive in how he touched you.

"Yes, baby… Lemme hear ya. I know your pussy likes it so much, she's soaking my hand. Lemme hear how good it feels."

A high-pitched whimper escaped your throat, your eyes bulging as he curled his fingers inside of you and searched for your sweet spot with his fingertips.

"Yeah… There we go…," Joel chuckled when he saw in your face that he had found it and began with slow, careful thrusts, like he was still exploring your body and like he hadn't had his fingers in there for a million times already.

Your face tensed, your brow wrinkling while his thumb didn't slow down the slightest and soon pleasure was so overwhelming, you didn't know what you were saying any longer.

"Daddy. S-So… good…"

The pain was forgotten and so was the fact that your ass was red and aching which was why you rolled your hips in accordance to Joel's thrusts, meeting his movements. He laughed at the picture, satisfied with the way he had managed to fully make you forget about the punishment and it only motivated him further to bring you unimaginable joy.

"You gonna cum soon, princess? You wanna soak my hand with your sweet juices?"

You bent your neck, looking down to where his large hand kneaded your breast and you almost lost your mind at the difference in size between his palm and your torso. He followed your gaze, chuckling deeply and then moved his hand to your face and pushed two fingers inside of your mouth without any warning. Your eyes sprang open, your brows pinching together and you almost choked in surprise.

"Easy… You like that? Takin' my fingers and suckin' like a good girl?"

The fact that you wouldn't be able to answer even if you wanted to, heated up his chest and he felt his insides clench with sheer arousal. You hummed something, but Joel was almost sure that it was only mindless stuttering.

Then your eyelids slammed close and he knew you were about to cum. After all those months of dating he would have been able to name the signs in his sleep and the way your face twisted was only one of them. Your knees bent, your heels digging into the cushions and your chest rising as pleasure took over.

"C'mon, babygirl, yes… Cum for daddy. He's the only one who can make you feel that way, mhm?"

He slightly withdrew his fingers in your mouth so he didn't risk having you gag on him while riding out your orgasm, his fingers pumping your pussy and his thumb unwavering around your clit that was throbbing and pulsing with pleasure. Your belly stirred with a needy hot ache, but the most beautiful kind. The kind that made your eyes roll in the back of your head and goosebumps appear across your arms.

"F-Fuck… daddy," you wailed, your body trembling in a way that would have scared Joel in any other situation, but right now it was the most beautiful sight he could imagine. It was what he lived for. It was his life's purpose. Making you feel good, seeing sheer pleasure and joy written all over your face and right now it was just what he needed after the intense punishment he had given you.

"You're bein' such a good 'lil girl for your daddy," Joel purred, sounding quiet and soft like a pigeon and you shivered with a wave of satisfaction as the effects of your high slowly began to die down. You didn't mind though because while you couldn't imagine feeling better than at the peak of your orgasm, what awaited you now wasn't too bad either. Joel gave you an honest and broad smile as he watched your face, his eyes radiating warmth and home and he almost seemed amazed by what he had just seen.

"You look so pretty. So perfect, my princess," he murmured as he leaned down to cover your shoulders and face with kisses. You giggled softly and then stretched your limbs, feeling exhausted and limp from the intense past hour.

"I know, I know, baby," he noticed your tiredness and slipped a hand around your waist to pull you up and hold you against his chest. Your body was pliant in his arms, but you had full confidence that he was able to keep you up on his own and so it happened. Joel adjusted you in his lap like you weighed nothing and stopped every few seconds to press affectionate kisses everywhere he could reach. The position you ended up in was across his lap, but this time his left arms securing your shoulders and upper back held you up while his right was situated on your hips.

"You did so amazing, princess. How are you feelin'?"

"I'm good," you yawned open-mouthedly and then focused on him, your lids fluttering as the drowsiness threatened to pull you over the edge any moment now.

"You need some sleep, mhm? I'll get you to bed, babygirl… I love you so much and I never wanna punish you like that again. All I want to do to you is kiss ya and hold you in my arms and make you cum over and over again. And if you obey me, I will never have to do something like that again."

He had risen to his feet while saying those words and now that he watched your weak body completely lifeless in his arms, he wondered if you had heard him or if you were already asleep. Joel grinned, carefully stroking a strand of hair out of your face. Then, making sure he didn't wake you, he set one foot in front of the other, heading to his bedroom and carrying you to the big four-poster bed.

When your back touched the mattress you were already far away with your thoughts, perhaps running over a flower meadow with Joel's hand firm around yours. Or in a armchair in front of a warming and crackling fire, which – together with Joel's broad body snug against yours – protected you from the cold outside. Or maybe you were cooking in the kitchen, Joel behind you and his hands tight on your hips while your eyes were peeking over your shoulder and the two of you were breaking into laughter.

Whatever it was, the dream made your lips curl into a gentle smile which Joel noticed with a flutter of his heart when he lay down next to you.

The moon outside shone on you, brightening your face with a quiet, white light that looked almost like liquid silver on your skin.

But Joel didn't see it.

His eyes were closed and his breathing became regular and steady as he drifted off to sleep and joined you in your vivid, luminous dreams far away.

[elllisaaa]

Do you plan on making any bf kim seungmin or yang jeongin bf hard thoughts i loved your other ones and I'm looking forward to these when/if they do come

here are the bf!thoughts for jeongin and here is a link to the seungmin version ! i hope you'll like them even if it took me months, thank you for the love <3

BF!JEONGIN who's dedicated to you in a silent way, but in a way that makes your heart melt when you think about it.

jeongin isn't really good at expressing his emotions and feelings through his words, sometimes he doesn't know how to word them. but that doesn't bother you because he does show you his love through a million other things. for him, actions speak louder than words. his little ritual when he knows he won't be able to see you for a few days, or that you're going through a rough time, is to leave you little notes all over your apartment. sometimes, it's just an "i love you", and some other times, it's praises and words of comfort. anyways, it almost makes you smile and you never fail to send him a little heart through text messages to thank him. it's easier for jeongin to tell you how he feels through words on paper than by telling you. when he needs to communicate something that he cannot get off his chest by talking, he writes you letters. and maybe it isn't a traditional way to reach out to your partner, but it worked for him, and it worked for you too because you got him. and as long as he lets you know how he's feeling and what goes through his head, no matter the way he's doing it, it's enough.

"i wrote you a letter baby, i really needed to tell you this."

jeongin is pretty known for his aversion to physical touch, especially when it isn't from the right person. so it is no surprise to you that he's not always seeking your touch or your comfort, and you don't mind at all. the only time where he becomes really clingy is when he's tired, after a long, stressful day. in these moments, he only seeks out the comfort of your warm embrace. he doesn't necessarily talk about what happened, but he loves to listen to you talking instead, while you run your fingers through his hair - he likes to be babied like this. it doesn't mean that jeongin doesn't let you touch him otherwise. even if he doesn't seek out the physical contact, he lets you take his hands or hug him if you need to and he likes to do it for you. he likes knowing that you need him, that you express your love for him in that expressive way. jeongin also definitely has a passion for holding your hands in every circumstance, and comparing their sizes. he finds it so cute how your smaller hands seem to drown in the hold of his bigger ones.

"give me your hand, baby. i don't want to lose you in this crowd."

despite not knowing how to articulate his thoughts in words most of the time, he's a really good listener. when you need to talk and spill out your feelings, he's always there to hold you close and let you tell him everything you have in your mind. he doesn't always has the right words to to help and he doesn't always know what to do to make you feel better, but it doesn't matter to you. his presence is enough to soothe you and help you feel better. another thing that he likes to do with you is matching your outfits. even if you don't spend the day together, you're almost always matching your outfits. it's like a way of being there in each other's day. so of course, he always asks for pics of your outfits, and he always compliments you on them of course. jeongin basically shares his closet with yours, and the same way around goes as well. everytime he has a day off from work, he brings you out to do some shopping with him. and of course, he doesn't even let you pay for anything.

"you look so good in my clothes, baby."

BF!JEONGIN who wants to spoil you just as much as loves to make you cry underneath him.

to be honest, jeongin just feels lucky to be with someone like and to be able to have you like this. so most of the time, he goes with the flow and the mood of the moment. if you want to get on top of him and ride him, he's all in. and if you want him to press you down on the mattress, he's not complaining either. just being inside of you makes him lose his mind. and simply the thought of it can drive him crazy too, especially in situations it shouldn't. that would be a regular occurrence for him - to fuck in the most unusual contexts and places just because he can, just because he knows you won't say no. what gets him going the most is the thought of someone catching the two of you in the middle of something unholy. just thinking about someone - especially one of his friends - hearing or interrupting you always makes him cum the hardest.

"don't hold back your sounds baby, i want them to hear how good i'm making you feel"

whenever jeongin wants to be in control, he doesn't let it sleep away, never. his hands are firm and rough on you, his words are borderline degrading and his thrusts are mean, almost punishing. he loves to torture you, especially with his fingers because he knows how obsessed you are with his hands. he'll either edge you or overstimulate, depending on his mood. but either way, he wants to hear you beg for it, to hear you beg for him. jeongin asks you to tell him what you want, and then he makes you beg, over and over again until your voice is broken and you're on the verge of tears. 

"yes, that's it baby, beg for it, tell me how much you need me."

but when jeongin lets you take control, he lets you take control entirely too. he trusts you with his life, so he literally lets you do anything you want to him. but you both know that the thing he likes the most is when you become rougher too. he loves it when you pull on his hair, when you wrap your hand around his throat or when you slap him across his face. he goes crossed-eyed whenever you hurt him. leave marks on his body too, leave them where they can be seen and so that they mirror the ones he left on your body too. seeing the scratches your nails left behind on his back the morning after, and feeling them sting everytime he moves at dance practice the next morning. 

"don't hold back, hurt me more..."

[inkdrinkerworld]

hiiii I really love your autistic!reader fics :] I was wondering if you could please do one where r just has an absolutely horrible sensory day, nothing bad happens but just they didn’t sleep and woke up super overstimulated and still had to go through a busy day to the point where they go nonverbal, have a meltdown and need to lock themself away in their room in the dark/quiet for like a day. and then once they feel better and come over, remus (or dealer!remus my beloved) talks about it and comforts them <3 this is super specific lol it just happened to me and my roommates did not notice or care so I’d love to hear what you think remus would do <333

I love all your fics so so dearly thank you for being you and for all your hard work !!!!

I’m sorry they didn’t care! Sending you this Remus fic to make up for it

You’re not sure when this ‘off’ feeling had settled into your body, but now that it has it seems impossible to shake.

You’d woken up and just knew that something was wrong. Something intrinsic to you was off and possibly twisted up and tangled in ways that made it difficult for you to articulate what it was.

Your phone’s alarm was too loud, you could feel the sheets scratching your thighs and you couldn’t take a breath deeper than four seconds long if you tried.

Then you’d gotten into work and gotten even more overstimulated so by the end of your day you’d felt this building nausea swirling all up your throat from your stomach.

You can also feel a migraine coming on and it worsens the nausea.

You might be sick on the train ride home. You were in fact sick on the train ride home- thank god you keep a spare shirt in your bag.

When you got in, Remus wasn’t there- probably still at the dispensary. Which as bad as it sounds was the best option.

You smell like sick, you’re cold sweating, and you can’t stop your tears from falling down your face.

It’s horrible. You feel like you’ve been run over and like your body is fighting you with every step you take.

You’re grateful Remus doesn’t see you like this.

Your shower is hot, to the point of steam curling around you but you didn’t feel a thing.

You’re hardly awake for more than ten minutes, slipping into a pair of underwear and getting under your heavy covers and falling asleep.

“Dovey, hi.” You wake up to Remus stroking your back, his nails blunt and fingers warm as they trail up and down your back.

You shake his hand off, your head throbbing as you turn to look at him.

The nap didn’t help the migraine.

Remus takes a moment to look at your face, eyes assessing as he stares. “Was it a quiet kind of day?” You squeeze his hand and Remus coos.

He lowers his tone, voice smooth and soft like velvet. “I put your clothes in the wash, and I can get you your notepad.”

You shake your head, sitting up a bit and opening your arms to Remus. Your arms drop when you spot his sweater - maybe he’s just come in from work.

He understands immediately, “I’ve showered already, so I’m not in outside clothes.” He assures you before his arms close around you.

Remus is warm in a way you don’t understand. His body constantly furnace-like, and it helps to ground you.

“I had a bad day.” You croak, throat tight as you speak.

“You don’t have to force yourself, dove.”

You shake your head, “I want to tell you,” Remus nods, kissing your neck as you steady yourself. “I woke up feeling really bad, like I couldn’t get anything my body had to do right but I went into work anyway thinking it’d just go away. It didn’t. Then I threw up on the train home and cried and then threw up again, and then came home, showered and slept.”

Remus coos, “I’m sorry today was so awful, sweet girl. Will you be able to take tomorrow off? I’m home all day and we could make a ‘recovery from overstimulation,’ day of it.”

You could cry. You’ve the sweetest boyfriend and you’re pretty sure he doesn’t realize.

“Are you sure?” You gnaw on your lip as Remus pulls back, a tender smile on his face.

“Perks of being your own boss, baby. I set the days. Want me to call your boss?”

You nod, “Please? And we can watch a movie when you’re done?” You’re already shuffling down under the covers as Remus reaches for your phone.

“Course dovey, put on Atlantis and I’ll go get some water and salted crackers.”

As bad as your day had started, it feels lighter now that Remus is here.

[tteokdoroki]

☆༉ — KATSUKI BAKUGOU. pre-k teacher!au.

about. some random headcanons of bakugou being a pre school teacher bc i think that he’s great with kids and would try so hard not to fall in love with his student’s mom.

warnings. minors, blank and ageless blogs do not interact. sfw, bakugou is soft for kids, reader is a single mother, fem!reader, pre school teacher!bakugou.

personally, i think bakugou would make a great pre-school teacher.

imagine a quirkless universe where bakugou decides to work with kids because he knows that in a world where everyone turns against one another — kids are the only ones who have never done wrong. as a pre school teacher, he tries to be the person he wished he had protecting him.

the class pre-k teacher!bakugou gets assigned are known to be ‘his kids’. they have their own system, in which bakugou claps once and they all scramble to sit on the carpet for story time or know to stack their handwriting books up neatly at the end of their tables. the kids like that their teacher is strong and able to pick three of them up at once, they order that he plays heroes with them or sometimes dresses up like a princess from the story book before nap time.

pre-k teacher!bakugou's class is the most well behaved, the little ones always snuggle up to him quietly when it’s time to sleep and listen well before they’re let out into the playground for time out doors. it’s almost like he gentle parents them too — your kid in katsuki’s class is particularly sensitive at times, but the blonde always gives her a little time to cry out her feelings in the reflection corner because kids will always figure their shit out even if they can’t articulate it properly.

“what’s wrong, sweetheart? can ya try ‘n tell me what’s up?”

pre-k teacher!bakugou who gets along well with the parents but doesn’t dare to cross the boundaries of professionalism… except for when it comes to you. the flustered young mum who’s trying to get her life together with an extremely shy and stubborn daughter that takes bakugou months to crack. he bribes her with special books at reading time, the first pick of pillows and blankies for naps and even helps her tie her shoes when he’s not supposed to.

but only because of the way your eyes light up at your daughter’s progress a few months later and the way you cling to pre-k teacher!bakugou's arm (whilst trying not to cry) when he tells you that your daughter is finally setting in with friends.

he absolutely cannot have a crush on you, however.

pre-k teacher!bakugou makes homemade snacks for his class that meets every dietary and allegory requirement of every kid he has — more often than not it’s fruit and veg, he tells his kids that they get superpowers from eating healthy. but sometimes he indulges them with gluten free brownies or muffins, sending extra home for the parents too.

pre-k teacher!bakugou puts his funny reading glasses on whenever a student of his makes him a piece of art. they always giggle. no matter what’s been made, the creations from his kids always go up on the ‘bk class wall of fame’ — he feels sentimental over each blob drawn onto colour paper with sprinkles of glue, pasta, buttons and glitter. they mean so much to him, he can’t help but adore the gifts he’s given.

pre-k teacher!bakugou who tries not to cry when his class move up a grade. he promised himself not to be like this, but the kids are squeezing and hugging him, showering him in end of year gifts as a thank you for being the best teacher ever. bakugou isn’t very good at hiding how much he’ll miss his kids — especially your little girl who he’s so used to having by his side until you pick her up everyday.

but when pre-k teacher!bakugou starts clearing out his classroom for a year, he finds a card from his favourite student (your daughter) and inside is your number scrawled quickly in the top right corner.

‘been waiting for this all year. call me, now that you’re not her teacher - xxx’

꒰ end. — all rights reserved © tteokdoroki 2023. do not copy, repost, translate & recommend elsewhere.

[fallingskiesandrisingseas]

Today, Peter Pevensie after Narnia.

---------------------------------------------------

Peter has severe body dysmorphia when he comes back.

He used to be strong, reliable. Able to pick up his sister with one hand and fence with the other one. He prided himself on it, had arm wrestling contests with minotaurs and centaurs.

The first time he walks down the stairs he falls flat on his face. He's not used to his legs being half a foot shorter than they used to be.

His teachers don't understand how he turned into such a mess. He was normal, right? He was normal before he was sent away?

They talk of the way war hurts young children. They don't know just how true that is.

Peter cannot find his scars anymore. His body is soft, the skin unbroken. It fosters a rage in him so loud that teachers have to scold him every week. He fights with class bullies all the time. They gang up on him. They usually lose. They eventually stop trying.

Peter fights with honour, though. Closed fists, never below the belt, no permanent damage. If he gets the chance he will even take off his lion rings.

Long nights crying are replaced by sessions in the gym. Peter has pride like a wounded lion, will not let himself be pushed around. He gets used to his new body, makes it strong. Others worry over this obsession with strenght.

His siblings know it is because he has to regain an identity all by himself. Sure, they were royalty too, but he was the High King, Commander of the Armies, Emperor of the Lone Islands. He was the face of their court, the man behind the flag.

Others brought more back from Narnia then he did. Lucy has dancing, Edmund has chess, Susan has diplomacy and her silver tongue.

Peter had his crown, his country, his duties and his sword. Peter, even when stranded on a lone island, always had his wit and his strenght.

All that is lost in England, where he is not allowed to speak before his father, where he no longer has authority. He has to respect teachers talking about war while he knows they never fought.

He sits in the front of class still. He learns to hide the snarl, the comeback, the lazy sarcasm that fits a High King but not a 14 year old kid. Stops challenging his teachers verbally. He adjusts. His curiosity never leaves him, and his manners, he reminds himself, shouldn't neither.

He's cunning and clever and articulates himself well. Teachers often feel the need to call him arrogant, but he isn't that.

He's confident and secure, doesn't seem to suffer from teenage angst. He has endured loss, that they know. But they haven't a clue what he lost.

Peter is insufferable for the first 2 months he comes back from Caspian's Narnia. A kingdom, gone. Even with Aslan's words this is a hard lesson.

Then he becomes a man no one knew he could be.

Peter doesn't back down from bullies or harsh teachers. Peter doesn't ask for justice, he demands it.

Peter is brave. Two weeks after he's back, he sees a vet begging in the streets, harassed by a group of young men. He jumps in, comes home with a tooth missing and his knuckles bloodied.

When the vet is admitted to the hospital, no one believes the stories he tells. He says he saw a 15-year old veteran. The look in his eyes gave it away, he assures his physicians. That's a war look.

Peter is much more aware than he seems, can burn right through you with his glares. He takes critique seriously, but doesn't do well with disrespect, no matter who it's from.

Teachers hate that.

Despite this, kids like Peter, eventually. He's popular. Adults listen to him, which is strange. Not many 14 year old kids can command a room the way he can. They gravitate towards him, somehow.

It helps he grows tall faster than seems possible and walks so straight that it adds inches to his height. It helps he tells stories so vividly they almost come alive before their eyes. It helps he is cool under pressure, self-assured, broadshouldered. He's pious, goes to church every Sunday.

Peter settles eventually, a little slower than Susan and Edmund but before Lucy. He discovers the fencing club and immediately becomes the most talented member by a distance. Three weeks after he joins he beats the instructor. It makes him easier to manage, takes the edge of him.

He likes to quip while fencing. It's sometimes quite dark.

He's helpful though. His classmates don't take offence; Peter tells often and gladly of his instructor, a man named Oreius. He makes it sound like he was the greatest fencer in the country, always calls him "swordmaster".

He's often archaic with his speech like that.

His teachers are glad that the anger has faded. He's become better at many things, they discuss among themselves. An excellent writer, a brilliant fencer. A very strong debater. Peter, they conclude, makes sure things get done. The makings of a leader.

Peter likes languages. He's the one that remembers Narnian the best, uses it to learn a few other tongues. He likes sailing, and riding horses. His academic performances always improve after physical exercise, he can feel his brain speed up when the blood is flowing. Stories about who taught him that, who taught ALL the Pevensies that, circulate widly. Peter smiles when he hears he must've been recruited by MI6. He doesn't fight the allegations.

Women take a liking to him as he ages. He has "old-time charm", they say, even though they don't understand exactly what that means.

Chivalrous. That's the word they look for often. When they find out he can dance too, all of them fall head over heels. Peter is never smug about it, always remains polite. He doesn't kiss and tell.

He talks to his sisters and brother often.

Edmund seems like his shadow, but Peter never treats him like a little brother. He respects his input, often asks him for advice. Many are astonished when they find out Edmund is only 11 years old. They don't bicker. He dances with Lucy, talks deeply and seriously with Susan.

The Pevensies are close, and Peter is the oldest brother. He behaves like that, too.

He is the first to sign up for the war effort, eager to defend his nation and his family. But despite doing very well in selection, he doesn't get a frontline position. His skills, his supervisors decide, are better put to use elsewhere. He's too good to be cannon fodder.

Lucy and Edmund are secretely somewhat glad when he leaves to work with Susan in the States after he turns 19. Getting a date is very hard when Peter Pevensie is your older brother. And the States are safe.

Potential partners tend to be a little ... intimidated around him. Golden child, blond hair, 6"3, built like a brick, VERY protective of them, and fencing champion; Peter is a lot. He's disarming when you get to know him, but still.

They never liked Peter in the front lines, anyway.

Narnia never leaves his mind. Back from America with a BA in History and work experience from a secret service, he has dinner with the Friends of Narnia, sees the spectre, goes to find the rings.

He dies happy.

[one-hundred-lights-to-goodnight]

Pt.1

You're the new student at school and have the power to see desire. Kusuo has caught on based on your thoughts and the way you pick your way through the schoolkids to surround yourself only with people who's desires you align with. Naturally that means none of the guys - they're all too creepy. 

But you see through a hidden desire of Saiki's that he himself hasn't noticed, being busy saving the world and avoiding annoying people. You're both 18, it's only natural. 

You seek him out in private at the library, passing him a note telling him you're psychic. Since you haven't been causing trouble like any of his other classmates, he decides you might as well know of his abilities so that both of your powers don't interfere. You have a pretty decent idea of his ability already, having seen a flash of his desire mixed into his life. What you do know for sure is he doesn't really want romance the way it’s pedaled to everyone, no simpering love story like that of his parents. Good, neither do you. 

Your next note to him is just that - telling him to notice that his body desires something too, that you're quite like him in that regard, that you don't want anything outside of what you're proposing - just to fuck. This piques his interest. You're not sleazy like the guys, or blushy and giggly like the girls. You're just you, and you know what you want.

You tell him to teleport the two of you to his place. His room is surprisingly clean, and quiet. He tells you about the germanium ring, thinking ... something he can't articulate. You tell him to put it on and to do something to stop time for the rest of the world. He does both, and not being able to see into your head makes his heart race. He can't predict you any longer. You think it'd be something to pull out whimpers from his chest. 

You push him onto the bed and leave him there to go use the bathroom. You come back with no underwear. He's still there, not knowing what to do with himself. You walk up to him and straddle him. You unbutton the first few buttons of your school shirt and begin to grind on him, leaving a trail of wetness right against the crotch of his pants. He could look into your head again whenever he wished, but the nervousness and uncertainty create an added dimension to the pleasure he is feeling already, the tingles everywhere. 

You unzip him and pull him out from his pants, licking your lips. Then you sit down onto his cock in one go. His whole body seizes up, every sensation down there pleasurable and unexpected. The way you squeeze him, the way your wetness feels against him, the way at each different angle, as you begin to move, there are new jolts of electricity in his abdomen each time. He cums and stays hard. You run your fingers along his chest, his nipples. He cums again and again, grunting, groaning, whimpering, nearly crying. He hasn't breathed this heavily even when saving the world. A new seed of desire has begun to take root in him, you see immediately. It's for your body - to feel good with it, and to make it feel good. 

He can't just talk to you in your head directly - you haven't discussed him taking off his ring yet. He has to verbalise what he wants. So he asks if he can touch your chest. You hum in response. The thing is, he touches with his tongue, suckling and kneading at the same time. You tip up his chin and kiss his lips. His eyes widen, but before he says anything, you tell him it's your turn and take his cock out of you, lying down beside him. 

He finally asks to take off his ring. He wants to look into your head and see all your desires. It's only right he return the favour for you. You tell him silently about every dirty thing you want from him. For him to eat you like a man starved. For him to fuck you and cum in you in front of people while making them believe he's invisible, making you struggle to keep your cool as you're filled with cum that slides down your plush thighs. For him to mold his cock while he's inside to stretch you out beyond your limits. You want him to pin you down and rip out one powerful orgasm out of you after the other. And manipulate his body in any number of ways to fill you up in as many of your holes as possible at once. You want for him to put things in you that only he can control, wherever he is, and you want him to shapeshift into other people, animals, extraterrestrial forms. What you really want is for the two of you to experience pleasure in ways others never can. His brother's often told him he's been a monster to begin with. All you want is that monster to rail you. 

Saiki is still for a moment as he processes all this. He never really understood what the point of being born was, or what the point of saving the world was, if he'd never get thanks for it, even from his own family. All that hiding, all that effort and for what, just a quiet life? But he's beginning to get it now. It's worth it if he can be himself with you, and make his body feel good in ways nothing and no one else can. There's a reason he can turn back and stop time. There's a reason his brain works the way it does. It's so he can make time to figure out ways to ruin the both of you. You're turning him into an addict, he tells you. You tell him it's not your problem. He _really_ likes that. His leaking tip does too.

He'll make sure you don't get pregnant, he says. But he is going to fuck a baby into you. You quite like that yourself. 

It's hours before the two of you decide to call it a night, although of course the world’s been standing still all the while. Saiki is draped across his couch, his balls having never been drained like this in his entire life. You bite the skin above his pelvis and he lets you. Then you get up and begin to dress. His eyes flutter to yours and his stomach flutters. Your pussy is sore, thoroughly fucked, full of cum, and buzzing in satisfaction. You tell him the two of you should get back to school. He sees what you're thinking - you want the two of you to attend the rest of the day like nothing’s happened, even if the two of you have to limp through the day. You see he wants quiet though. You tell him the two of you could pretend to date - that would keep creeps away from you and pesky girls away from him. He agrees, and reaches up to your ass, kneading and spreading it. Then he pushes in a silicone vibrator he's fashioned for you himself, and it fits just right. 

The next second, the two of you are back at a table in the library, and your ass is being pounded. He thinks of letting you enjoy yourself like this for a while, but seeing the drool dribble down your lips, he gets up and walks away to an empty storage closet, silently instructing you to walk over there too. Luckily the route is empty, or you'd have been seen shaking, leaking, as you teeter over to the room. You clutch onto the first table you find there, realising you don't much care about school anymore, only about getting fucked for as long as possible. 

Saiki reads your fantasy again and shapeshifts into the form of one of the teachers, Hatakeyama. You realise at once what is happening and leak so much cum he can taste it. His cock is fat, so much so that despite your hours getting fucked earlier you still have trouble letting him enter. But sensei tells you to be a good girl and open up, forcing your sore pussy open. You're nearly senseless for another thirty minutes as the much older professor takes his pleasure from you, while the vibrator hammers away in your asshole (Saiki's sent the actual Hatakeyama to sleep in the teacher's bathroom and transferred some of the pleasure he feels to him, thinking it's only fair. Hatakeyama will wake up thinking he's had the wet dream of his life). Saiki knows he's enjoying himself way too much. He'll turn back time to keep the two of you in school forever, he thinks. Your bodies are in their prime right now, after all. 

The two of you keep a low profile so you're not really missed when you're finally back in class, but Saiki makes it so no one really notices your dazed eyes or wobbling legs when you're in your seat, leaving large smears of cum across the chair. When a classmate asks you what plans you have for the weekend, you look over at Saiki and tell her the two of you have a date planned, or three. You can't believe you've struck gold.

Pt.2 | Pt.3 | Pt.4 | Pt.5 | Pt.6 | Pt.7 | Pt.8

[fuck-customers]

I don't think I can fully and clearly articulate my feelings on this, but it's so disgusting and pathetic when people have weird parasocial relationships with stores/businesses. It's a fucking store. All they want is your money. They do not give a fuck about you, as a person. You are not a person to a store. You are a dollar sign.

Depending on how psychotic the customer base is, if you work at a store that's closing permanently, there's a good chance the freak customers will flock to the store to cry to you about upset they are that they won't be able to waste their money on this particular store's overpriced garbage any more. Some even actually cry. About a store. A business. Not even an independent mom-and-pop type of business. A fucking corporation. I could see how it would be sad to watch a beloved local store that's run by a local family or something go out of business. That is actually sad. I absolutely understand getting emotional about that. But not a corporation with hundreds/thousands of locations.

I can understand being a bit bummed. Like "aw man, Blockbuster was so convenient and had so many titles to choose from. This kinda sucks." Understandable and normal reaction. But if you're actually crying? Real tears? Or if you fall into a depression because you cannot shop at a store any more? A store that you were solely a customer of and are not an employee worried about being unemployed, which would be extremely understandable. Seek help. There is something wrong with you.

Posted by admin Rodney

[babyangelsky]

My Favorite Expressions in Love Sea Ep. 7

On a personal level this week has been a very mixed bag but I know that if nothing else got me, this show got me. It's gonna come in clutch for me every time, spider bites and potential hauntings be damned.

I. Love. It. Here.

Will I ever not take psychic damage from the expression Tongrak makes when Mahasamut tells him that he cares about him? The answer is no. It's wonderful and devastating every time.

"How would you rate me out of 10?" Mahasamut asks while Tongrak's face plots teasing and mischief.

Opening a safe shouldn't look so much like staring down the gallows but here we are. Not being able to see how Tongrak's hands were shaking in a screenshot is a blessing.

The panic and terror on this man's face when he saw the read receipt on his phone is something I never want to see again. My hatred for Rak's piece of shit sperm donor is murderous and profound. How actually fucking dare he put this look on his child's face I'm going to kill him with my bare hands.

Peat's acting is so genuinely good that it hurts me. Tongrak was trembling so much that he was struggling to put the phone away and when he gets back to his room, he practically tries to crawl into Mahasamut's skin to hide and feel safe. Look at him, he looks so tiny and scared and I want to cry.

Let us take a break from the sad with this supremely horny shot of Mook unzipping Vivi's dress. Everyone say thank you.

And pour one out for our girl, as is now a weekly custom. Vivi my girly is dying CONFESS TO HER AND MAKE OUT ABOUT IT.

"I'm not going to the event! >:(" Yes you are, mi alma, look at your face when Mook threatens to quit.

Not pictured: One (1) resigned sigh

The grumpiest kitten in the whole venue.

Tongrak: *complaining* Mahasamut: *heart eyes*

My favorite moment of the face journey Tongrak goes on when he realizes just how good Mahasamut looks and that he will be Perceived and decides to mess up his hair about it. The grumpy kitten is a jealous jellyfish.

It's the fact that Tongrak looks surprised that his fans like his books and have consumed his entire body of work. I'M GOING TO SOB.

The smile is polite and professional but the eyes are sparkly. He genuinely enjoys interacting with his fans.

The proud husband smile means everything to me.

THE LOOK OF ABSOLUTE LOATHING AND DISGUST! INCREDIBLE PHENOMENAL OUTSTANDING.

IF YA'LL THINK I'M NOT GONNA MAKE A SEPARATE POST ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS MAN YOU'RE SO FUCKING WRONG

If I have to have this demonic nasty hell witch on my screen, at least I get to watch her face make this expression after Tongrak calls her out for imitating him because he got it right on the money and she knows it.

Tongrak and the visceral hatred in his eyes said play me another waltz I'm tired of dancing to this one.

God love you, but you look so tired.

This entire scene was more brutal to watch than the fight outside of Tongrak's house. It was obvious that something more was going on from how calmly he was speaking and how non-responsive he became toward the end of it, but look at his hands. Look at how tightly they're clenched. Maintaining his composure while Prin stuck that knife in his wounds and twisted it as viciously as she could cost him, and it would be obvious even if we hadn't already seen them fight.

Tongrak, you're my fighter. He still looks tired because he is, but he also looks like the imperious ice prince he's had to be to survive. Then the utterly dismissive way he turns and walks out and cuts eye contact?

We can barely see Nouel's smile but it's so clearly saying "bruh that's cringe".

He's not just my fighter. He's Mahasamut's fighter, too.

Do ya'll remember how Tongrak was acting when he first brought Mahasamut to live with him and Vivi was teasing him?

Look how far they've come.

I can't quite articulate how, but the way they look at each other has changed, and I don't just mean because they're being lovey in front of Vivi and Mook. There's this undercurrent of sweetness that wasn't there before, even in private. That scene way back in episode 3 where Tongrak told Mahasamut to ask him to stay on the island which had so much softness and fondness to it did not have that same something that's now present.

I'm gonna leave ya'll with that and then go take more screenshots so I can properly scream about Mahasamut. And let me know if you wanna be tagged in these weekly writeups!