#and couldn’t WAIT to deliver his ‘toilet prank’ :’)

[galaxywhale]

I told my class today they could write absolutely anything they want to today and they were like anything? :O and I was like ANYTHING and they had the best time writing random letters and stuff ;-;

I said i might even be able to go to the front office to get some envelopes for letters and one kid wrote a letter to the office asking for envelopes and got some and we just delivered a whole pile of letters to the office ladies at the front desk <3

[jakesimfromstatefarm]

[wip!] the art & science of parenting || jay park

update: this fic's been posted!! click here to read!

a/n: hellaur everyoneeee here's a lil summary & drabble into another wip i'm working on rn,,,i had this idea in the back of my head for SO incredibly long (im talking since 2021 pls) and decided to finally go for it :') so here's a lil peek for the time being to prove i'm still alive heh. i hope you guys like this concept,,,idk why but i really envisioned jay in this trope maybe because i plan on making it very fun & lighthearted but mixed in with some serious & angsty tones...we shall seeeee....you know i love my college!aus and e2l!aus heheh anyways saur sorry im yapping now! lmk what you think & if you want to be tagged !!

genre: jay x female!reader, fluff, comedy, college!au, enemies to lovers!au, parenting!au (parenting a robot baby LMAO), sum angst maybe, both reader & jay are smartasses who don't know how to communicate and confront their feelings , also a bit of photographer!jay :')

summary: The Art & Science of Parenting 101 (PSY1009) – In this interactive course, students will explore the psychological, social, and biological foundations of parenthood. Through a mix of theory and hands-on practice, you'll master the art of raising a simulated baby—aka the 'robot child.' Late-night feedings, tantrum taming, and crisis control are all part of the deal. What you didn’t expect to be part of the deal? Getting paired with Jay Park—the last person you’d trust to raise, well, anything. You’re pretty sure he couldn’t even take care of a pet rock. Now, you’re stuck co-parenting this robot baby together for 40% of your final grade.  Warning: Sleep deprivation is guaranteed. And maybe, just maybe, some unexpected feelings for your disaster of a partner. Good luck!

longer drabble under cut! <3

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・

"Y/N and Jay."  

Wait. What?  

Your head snaps up so fast it's a miracle it didn't pop off your neck and roll away.  

You blink. You must have misheard.  

"Y/N and Jay," Professor Kim repeats as if she could read your confused expression, voice too nonchalant for the life-wrecking news she's about to deliver: "You two are partners."  

The words hit you like a bus. No, not even. The words hit you like a bus driven by a T-Rex that flips over, crashes into a building, and explodes into a million ashy pieces. And there you are—standing right in the middle of the wreckage, somehow still alive to suffer through every second of it—while Jay, smug as ever, whips around in his seat to face you.  

And of course, there it is: that look of his that screams 'This is going to be so much fun for me, and so much pain for you.' 

"Guess we're parents now, Y/N!" Jay chimes, his voice dripping with so much sarcastic enthusiasm you swear he just got handed an Oscar for Most Annoying Human. If that tone were a substance, you'd bottle it up and use it as insect repellent. On him. Repeatedly.  

You blink at him, you're sure—you're praying—this has to be some elaborate prank. Maybe Jay bribed Professor Kim with his rare attempt at turning in an assignment on time just to mess with you. Or maybe the universe just hates you and this is your karma for stealing your roommate's last ramen packet that one time a year ago.  

But no, Professor Kim keeps rattling off other pairs like it's business as usual, as if your entire academic career and sanity isn't currently being flushed down a metaphorical toilet, while you sit there, paralyzed, your brain rapidly melting into a useless puddle from the sheer thought of being paired with him.  

"What's wrong, Y/N?" Jay teases as he leans over the back of his chair towards you. "You don't want to play house with me?"  

You narrow your eyes at him, mentally wielding your imaginary bug spray like it's a holy weapon. "I don’t," you reply flatly. "In fact, I’d rather perform open-heart surgery on myself with a plastic spoon than co-parent with you." 

Jay’s eyes light up as his hand goes to his heart. "Aw, you really know how to make a guy feel special. This is why I like our little relationship, you know?" 

"Relationship?" You scoff loud enough to make the people sitting three rows behind you to glance in your direction. "The only thing we have in common is a shared oxygen supply." 

"See, that’s the spirit," he says, turning back to face the front like he didn't just ruin your life. And somehow, that pisses you off even more. Is it his voice? His stupidly perfect hair? The fact that he breathes in your general direction? At this point, he could literally sneeze, and it would still feel like a personal attack.

Is it too late to switch majors? Or schools? Maybe even countries? Surely, restarting your entire college career as a super senior would be better than spending the next six weeks parenting with Jay. Jay Park, who has probably never held anything more fragile than a Red Solo Cup.  

Jay Park, who is just sitting there, all calm and collected, clearly loving every second of your misery.  

While you're frozen in pure, unadulterated horror.  

Your grade? Plummeting as we speak.  Your robot baby? Probably going to need therapy by day two.  And you?  

You're screwed. 

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・

decided to go for a longer sneak peek than usual bc im very excited about this one heh :) i also changed up my title image formatting..trying out smth new !!!

lmk if you want to be tagged!

<3, addie

[dreamescapeswriting]

Stray Kids Reaction || Didn’t Know That You Were Pregnant [Request]

CHAN:

It was supposed to be a relaxing day out with the rest of the boys, going for a walk around the Han River and taking photographs with Hyunjin but your stomach was beginning to cramp and you were having back pains. 

"Maybe you should sit down," Minho said as he noticed how slow you were walking behind them, panting out of breath you walked over to some of the benches beside a fence and sat down. 

"Here," Felix called out as he rushed to your side and gave you a bottle of water, Chan glanced over at you smiling weakly as he noticed how sick you looked. The fact that you'd been sick for most of the week was starting to worry him but you pushed it aside as nothing more than a sickness bug that would pass sooner or later.

"Maybe we should call it a day, you look worse than you did yesterday," Jisung said in a worried tone he didn't mean for it to sound mean but he was worried about you, as were the other boys. Jisung's eyes kept looking between you and Chan as he walked over to your side but you let out a yelp in pain, at first, you thought you'd dropped the bottle of water that Felix had handed to you but then you felt pain radiate up your back and around your abdomen,

"Gross, Y/n needs to control her bladder." Minho laughed as he saw the pool of fluid by your feet and assumed you had wet yourself but that was when Chan's face ran pale and he began to calculate in his head. 

"I-I think my water broke," You mumbled as you looked over at Chan, he was piecing everything together over the last nine months, you'd gained weight, you'd been suck more often not to mention the weird cravings you'd been getting. 

"Holy shit." You yelled out as you struggled to get up from the bench, holding onto your stomach where there was barely even a bump. 

"I'm going to be an uncle?!" Jeongin screamed out loudly enough that the lady that was working the hot chocolate stand looked up to see what the fuss was about. Chan took your hand in his, walking with you towards the car so they could get you to a hospital but all of the boys were freaking out more than the two of you, yelling about how they weren't prepared and nothing was ready since you had no idea you were pregnant. 

MINHO:

You always thought those who claimed not to know that they were pregnant were being dramatic but now you knew first hand that they weren't. Sitting on the maternity ward with your sleeping daughter in your arms while Minho sat beside you on the bed just watching her sleeping. You had been home when you felt a bad pain spreading over your body, you figured it was nothing until it got to the point you couldn't focus on anything but the pain and headed to the doctor. 

"I can't believe you created another human." Changbin muttered as he walked into the room with a look of surprise on his face,

"Neither can we," You laughed as you laid your head on Minho's shoulder still remembering the look of shock on his face he had when you told him that you were going to have a baby. It was as if someone had drained all the colour out of him and for a few moments you thought he was going to pass out but he took it well and spent hours shopping for everything you were going to need online and having it delivered to your apartment that you shared together.

CHANGBIN:

"Where have you been I've been calling all day?!" You yelled out as you stood in the doorway of one of the studios, Changbin was chilling with Jisung and Chan while he claimed he was working. 

"What's wrong? Is something wrong?" You groaned at his nagging questioning and looked down at your stomach, the bump was starting to bother you but you put that down to weight loss until about an hour ago when you felt something move inside of you followed by a gushing of water to your feet. 

"I'm in labour, so if you answered your phone I wouldn't have had to drive all the way here instead of a hospital," All three of the boys started to laugh with one another thinking it was some kind of prank but as soon as Changbin saw the seriousness on your face his smile fell to the floor. 

"You're really-"

"Yes."

"And I'm going to be dad-"

"Not if you don't get me to a fucking doctor!" You yelled out as another contraction hit you, bending over in pain as you tried not to fall to the floor in a puddle of tears from the pain that you were experiencing. 

HYUNJIN:

"Besides a little weight gain, there had been no other indication that you could have been pregnant?" A nurse asked as she looked at you at Hyunjin, the two of you had been surprised by home birth. You'd gotten up in the middle of the night to use the toilet only to realise you weren't in need of the toilet but a doctor. The two of you ended up delivering your daughter on the bathroom floor over the phone to nurses and an ambulance team that had been stuck on the roads. 

"No, I didn't even know I could. I was on the pill and we were using condoms." You mumbled as you glanced down at your sleeping daughter who was strong considering you hadn't been taking prenatal care or going for regular checkups, it was a miracle she was delivered as well as she was and as healthy as she was. 

"Well, the hospital will provide you with a crib and some emergency supplies but you will need to do some shopping soon." She began writing everything up that you would need, Hyunjin was already so taken with your daughter he could hardly take his eyes off her.

JISUNG:

As soon as the water hit the ground you knew you hadn't accidentally wet yourself and Chan knew from the look of it that it wasn't piss that had come out of you. 

"Y/n!?" Jisung yelled out as panic washed over his face, he was sweating as he rushed over to you, sitting you down on the sofa in the dorms as he began yelling out for someone to call an ambulance. 

"Relax, she's in labour," Chan said calmly as he watched the two of you but that did nothing to settle you, both you and Jisung turned to him with wide eyes, 

"I'M PREGNANT?!"

"SHE'S PREGNANT!?" You screamed out together as the boys around you began to laugh, Chan shook his head at you before looking around. 

"Felix call an ambulance, Seungmin get a blanket and Minho pack up some clothes for Y/n." The whole time Chan barked out orders Jisung was doing his best to coach you through the pain, giving you breathing techniques he'd seen in all of the movies and TV shows where people were giving birth.

"We're going to be parents." He whispered over and over again as if he was trying to convince himself that it was true and it wasn't some kind of dream that he seemed to be having. 

FELIX:

Felix brought you to the hospital as soon as you said that you were in so much pain you couldn't get out of bed, doctors were running tests on you while you sat in a hospital bed crying into a pillow. 

"Mr Lee, Miss Y/l/n?" You glanced over at the door to see a set of doctors all rushing around outside the door, getting something ready while another came to speak to you. 

"It appears that you're pregnant, in fact, you're currently in labour." You started laughing at the male doctor thinking it was some kind of joke but when you noticed he wasn't laughing you stopped and sat up in the bed. 

"I'm what?" Felix's hand wrapped around yours as he tightly squeezed your hand, come to think of it there was a high possibility that you were pregnant but the two of you had been careful and used protection all of the time. 

"I would assume this is a shock but we need to check to see how far along you are in your contractions," A female doctor came into the room and began introducing herself while you and Felix stared at one another dumbfounded about how this could have happened and when. 

"Would you like to stay in the room?" The mid-wife asked Felix who turned to leave but you gripped onto his shirt pulling him closer to the bed, 

"We're in this together, don't even think about walking out of that door." You warned him as the doctor began to see if you were ready to push or not, 

"Almost there, I would say another hour or two at the most," She smiled looking up at you both as you worriedly looked at one another how you were going to break the news to everyone since you had no idea you had been pregnant in the first place.

"I need to call my mum," Felix stuttered as he looked at you, you nodded your head looking around for your phone. 

"I need to tell my family." You bit down on your lip not knowing if you were excited, worried or scared or if it was a mixture of all of those emotions at once. 

"I would make some arrangements quickly," The doctor teased before leaving the room, you turned to Felix wondering where to start with the conversation.

SEUNGMIN:

"I'm telling you that there is nothing wrong with me, I just feel sick." You grumbled to Seungmin who was pacing around the room a nurse had placed you in, he'd insisting on taking you to see someone as soon as you started to feel sick and dizzy that morning and now you had been waiting around for hours. 

"The tests have all finally came back, we wanted to make sure it was 100% positive before we came in here," The same nurse that had admitted you explained as she held a clipboard to her chest with a worried expression on her face, 

"When you came in we asked if there was a chance of pregnancy and you said no-"

"Because there isn't, I'm on the pill and we use protection," You told her as she continued to give you a worried look, that was when she began showing you all of the tests that they had done to prove to you that you were eight months pregnant and in early labour which was why you were sick and in so much pain. 

"I-I'm pregnant?" You stuttered out staring from the charts to her face as Seungmin sat down on the chair beside your bed, 

"But we were careful," He mumbled as he looked at you, 

"Not all contraceptives are 100% effective, some are just 99.9% you're the lucky, 00.01% That gets pregnant," You knew she was trying to make you feel better but it only made it worse as you thought about how the baby had nothing waiting at home for them when you eventually got home. 

"I'll get the boys, they'll become builders for the day." Seungmin mumbled as he began to call Chan on his phone frantically. 

JEONGIN:

Jeongin laughed down the phone when you told him you were sitting on the maternity ward of a hospital delivering his baby but as soon as he didn't hear you laughing a chill ran through him.

"You're joking right?" You groaned at him through the phone, rolling your head back against the bed as another contraction hit you making you scream out louder than the rest before it.

"Why would I joke about pushing a watermelon out of something the size of a pea!?" You yelled out down the phone to him while the midwife flinched from beside you wondering how you had been clueless about the pregnancy in the first place. It wasn't as though you were trying to get pregnant you were only together for two years, he was still young and how was JYP going to react to him getting a son or a daughter. 

"Please come to the hospital innie, I'm scared," Your voice cracked as you began to cry but Jeongin was already on the way, getting Minho to drive him as fast as he could so he could be by your side by the time his son or daughter came into the world.

Tagline: @taestannie​ @acciocriativity​ @mwitsmejk​ @minholuvs​ @sw33tnight​ @kneel-begyourpardon​

[rubykgrant]

RVB characters (harmlessly) pranking each other-

Tucker puts dozens of tiny toy cars in Wash’s bad, so when Wash finally has a chance to GET SOME SLEEP, he pulls back the covers and... sees the bane of his existence

Doc re-arranges everything in the kitchen just SLIGHTLY; the spoons are where the forks go, the plates are where the tupperware goes, ect

Grif puts blue-tinted sunglasses on Sarge while he sleeps, so when he wakes up he sees THE SIN COLOR

Simmons messes with everybody’s phone settings, so now whenever they get a call/text, it plays an annoying pop song (he also put on a timer so it plays the song every hour), and then he somehow hid the icon for the settings, so they can’t fix it

Lopez asked for help with some maintenance with his arm from Carolina, and he hid a ketchup packet in his elbow, so she was shocked when it seemed like he started BLEEDING when she stuck a screwdriver in there

Donut put glitter in all their shampoo bottles

Caboose had to think about it for a while... and then he stuck googly-eyes on the toilet... so now it LOOKS AT YOU

Wash got a bunch of boxes from bakeries and pastry shops... then put broccoli in them, and just left them sitting around, waiting for Grif to scream in frustration

Kai hides a layer of bubble-wrap in Locus’s jacket; she literally cut open the inner-lining, put the bubble-wrap inside, then sewed it up. He didn’t notice until he lifted and arm up to grab something and... POP-POP-POP-POP-POP

Tex squeezed a bunch of toothpaste into Donut’s shoes... also, it was HIS toothpaste

Church found a little plastic Halloween spider, stuck inside a lampshade in Donut’s room, so when he turns on the light it looks like a SPIDER IS THERE

Grif replaced a bar of soap his sister had in the bathroom with a block of cheese he sculpted to be the same shape (she couldn’t see the colors, so wasn’t suspicious the pale purple soap was now yellow... he also sprayed the cheese with lavender air-freshener so it would smell the same, the froze it for a while so it wouldn’t feel too soft)

Locus went invisible, and kept moving around stuff Simmons had on his desk when he wasn’t looking (messing up the pencils, putting papers out of order, ect. it drove him CRAZY)

Caboose also switched the salt and sugar... but that might have just been an accident

Church very carefully painted a hyper-realistic 100 dollar bill on the side-walk, then waited for Tex to walk by and lose her mind first with excitement... then confusion... then RAGE

Sarge replaces all the water in the bottles in the fridge with VINEGAR

Simmons finally gets really GOOD at speaking Spanish... and then he pretends that he can’t hear Lopez. He gets the other to play along, so for nearly two hours they all went “What? Are you trying to tell us something?”, and then Lopez finally writes down some words for them... and Simmons goes “Sorry, I only speak Spanish, I can’t read it”

Kai took a bunch of red nail-polish (Donut helped her pick it out), and made a fake blood hand-print on Doc’s window while he slept so he would see it when he woke up (“AAAAHHHHH!”), and found a place that prints joke newspapers, and left one for him that had the head-line ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE (at that point he knew it was fake, because who delivers newspapers in the zombie apocalypse?)

Lopez found a helmet that looked like his head, tied a bunch of balloons to it, and then watched everybody run around outside trying to get “him” down

Tucker and Carolina walked up to Church holding hands and told him that they’re dating now. The prank didn’t last long because Church’s eyes went out of focus and he started making the horrible internet-dial-up noise, and they had to to tell him it was a JOKE

[ellewritesathing]

So Close - S.S. XVI

Summary: The universe has a funny way of putting the things you want right in front of you, but just out of reach. Stiles and Y/N have been best friends ever since Scott brought him home, but when Stiles realizes that he might want to be something other than best friends, she leaves to go to some fancy private school up North. Now that she’s back though … maybe he’s got a shot? A Teen Wolf AU in which the reader has always been so close to Stiles and yet so far.

Prologue - S2E1 Part 1 - S2E2 + S2E3 Part 2 - S2E4 + S2E5 + S2E6 Part 3 -  S2E7 +S2E8 Part 4 - S2E9 + S2E10 Part 5 - S2E11 + S2E12 Part 6 Part 7 - S3AE1 Part 8 - S3AE2 + S3AE3 Part 9 - S3AE4 Part 10 - S3AE5 + S3AE6 Part 11 - S3AE7 + S3AE8 Part 12 - S3AE9 + S3AE10 + S3AE11 Part 13 - S3AE11 + S3AE12 Part 14 Part 15 - S3BE1 + S3BE2 Part 16 - S3BE3 + S3BE4

Word-count: 3.5k+

A/N: nano’s lowkey kicking my butt but i’m super excited to get back to writing fics when december comes around

“You know, I really hate driving on this thing,” you mumbled as you took off your helmet. Scott took it from you as you shook out your hair. “I mean, look at this. My hair’s a mess.” 

He didn’t answer and you were about to complain some more when you saw him walking around the bike to talk to the twins. What were they doing back? 

“You’re back in school?” he asked them. 

“No, just to talk,” Ethan said as you stood next to your brother. He cast a quick glance at you before turning back to Scott. 

“Well, I’m not really in the talking mood, so-” you said as you looped your arm through Scott’s. 

“Plus, talking’s kind of a change of pace for you guys,” Stiles interrupted you as he walked up to the group. “Usually, you’re just hurting, maiming, and killing.”

“You need a pack,” Ethan continued like he didn’t hear you and Stiles. “We need an alpha.” 

“Yeah …” Stiles pretended to think about it. “Absolutely not. That’s hilarious though.”

“You came to us for help. We helped.” 

“You beat his face into a bloody pulp,” Stiles argued. “That’s not helping. In my opinion, that’s actually counterproductive.” 

“Seriously, that’s what you guys were doing while I-” you started, pulling on Scott’s arm again.

“Why would I say yes?” Scott asked interrupted. 

“We’d add to your strength. We’d make you more powerful,” Aiden said. “There’s no reason to say no.” 

You rolled your eyes. You liked it better when he wasn’t talking. 

“I can think of one,” Isaac said as he strode over, pointing a finger at them with the same hand that was holding Cora’s. “Like the two of you holding Derek’s claws while Kali impaled Boyd.” 

“Yeah, that was real helpful, guys,” you said sarcastically.

“I don’t know why we’re not impaling them right now,” Cora chimed in. 

Aiden shifted just enough for his blue eyes to shine and his fangs to drop. “You wanna try?” 

You stepped forward and put a hand out to Cora to stop her from engaging. Scott pulled Isaac back by his wrist. You took a deep breath and stepped back so you weren’t in the middle of everything.

“Sorry, but they don’t trust you,” Scott said, diffusing the situation. “And neither do I.” 

He pushed past them and Stiles followed. You started to as well, but stopped when Cora lingered. You grabbed her hand and pulled her away from them, and Isaac trailed after the two of you. 

“I don’t get why you always stick up for them,” Cora said once you were a few feet away. 

“I don’t stick up for them,” you said. “I just don’t want you to all worked up before your big geometry test.”

“Ugh, don’t remind me.”

---

The school was a nightmare. You hated mischief night. As fun as it was to pull pranks and get free candy, it was exponentially less fun to hit with a toilet paper roll on your way to class. You put on a smile for Cora because she was having enough trouble adjusting to high school as it is. The look of relief on her face when Derek called was enough for you to encourage her to ditch the rest of the day. Yeah, she needed to catch up a lot but she also needed to not murder her classmates. 

Noah had come to deliver an announcement to the school and you’d bumped into him in the hallway. The two of you were talking about the book you were reading in English when Stiles came running up to you. 

“The William Barrow?” he asked, bulldozing over your conversation. “The Shrapnel Bomber? Spotted nearby?” 

“Stiles, what are you-” 

“A little closer than nearby, actually,” Noah admitted. 

The frown on your face deepened as your dad blew past with a team of officers, talking about he needed to know where every entrance and exit in the school was. 

“Okay, can either of you tell me what’s going on here?” you asked. Your eyes followed your dad until he rounded a corner. 

Noah told you about the bomb that Barrow set up years ago and then he told you the reason why he did it. The kids on the bus had glowing eyes. And now he’d escaped from the hospital, with the intent to set off another bomb. 

“We, um-” you put your hand on Stiles’ arm after Noah. “We happen to have some friends with glowing eyes.”

“Yeah,” he sighed. “You wanna tell ‘em or should I?” 

The original plan was to split up to cover more ground, but at some point you’d met up and gathered Lydia and Allison to tell them what happened. The police already cleared the building but Lydia was sure Barrow was still there, and you had to figure out what to do once he was caught. 

“The bestiary is literally a thousand pages long,” Allison said as she lifted the blinds. “If I’m going to find anything about flies coming out of people’s bodies, it could take me all night.” 

“I’ll help you,” you said. Stiles was giving you a look. “It’ll go by faster that way and it’s not like I can concentrate on my classes with Barrow still out there.” 

He nodded and you started following Allison out the window. 

“And remember,” Lydia said, “The word in archaic Latin for fly is ‘musca.’”

“Got it,” Allison said as she climbed over the ledge. 

“See you guys later,” you smiled and waved at them before following her out.

---

After a good few hours of combing through the bestiary for any mention of flies, Chris got home with dinner. Allison pushed herself up and walked over to the door, throwing a look over her shoulder to you. 

“You coming?” she asked. 

“Yeah,” you sighed. “You go ahead. I’m gonna call Scott with an update.” 

“Okay,” she smiled. “Hey, uh, I know this is awkward, but-” you raised an eyebrow and she laughed. “Never mind. I’ll save you some pizza.” 

“You’re the best.” You grinned at her as she closed the door behind her. You dug out your phone and got up while you waited for it to ring. Voicemail.

“Okay, so Allison and I have basically spent the day doing nothing,” you sighed as you paced. “Well, nothing helpful. Flies are able to carry messages from the dead, but Barrow’s not dead. Beelzebub is the Lord of the Flies, but I think he probably has better things to do than mess with teenagers.” The lights started flickering and you got quieter. “Just call me back, okay?” 

You hung up and walked over to the door, but it wouldn’t open. You tried again but it was locked. You heard something fall over and spun around to find five shadowy figures getting closer to you. You engaged Derek’s knife and called for Allison, but it didn’t help. Fighting didn’t help. 

You heard the Argents yelling your name when they closed in, but they started to sound further away. The room was cold. One of the shadows put their hand on the side of your face. They cradled your face, and you were faintly aware of the burning sensation. Just like you were faintly aware of your screaming. 

You couldn’t pull your eyes away from the glowing orbs just behind the shadow. Or were they in front? They were gone in the instant that you blinked. And so was everything else - except for the darkness. 

You weren’t sure how much time had passed between calling Scott and Chris pouring water on your face. You gasped as you woke up and scrambled to get your back against a wall. 

“Y/N, what happened?” Allison asked, trying to get close to you. 

“I- I don’t know,” you said. You were stuttering. You were freezing. “There were five of them. They- they came out of the shadows. They were the shadows-” 

Your phone lit up and you could see Stiles’ name flash across the screen. He could be in danger. You reached for it and got up. 

“I-I have to go,” you said. 

“Y/N, wait-” Allison caught your arm. “What happened?”

“They were wearing black and I couldn’t see their faces. Their eyes were …” you searched for the word. “Haunting. Glowing. Almost like …” 

“Like what?” 

“Fireflies.” 

---

You ran out of the Argents’ apartment building and called Stiles. He didn’t answer. You checked your messages. 

“Hey, so don’t panic,” he started. You hated it when he said that. “I know you hate when I say that but just- just trust me, okay? Barrow was after Kira and we’re on our way to the substation to go save her. It’s no big deal. Call me when you get this.” 

You checked your most recent message. 

“Okay, so you didn’t call me. It’s cool. It’s fine. Scott says you called him but whatever.” He took a breath. “Uh, this is kind of awkward but your dad is kind of taking us into custody because we may or may not have destroyed the power station. If you could meet me at the police station, that would be great. Oh, this is Stiles, by the way. In case you didn’t notice from the-” 

Your phone cut him off and you shoved your phone in your pocket and started heading to the police station. Scott, Kira, Lydia, and Stiles were on their way out when they got there. 

“Oh, so your phone does work?” Stiles asked as you ran up to him. You almost tackled him with the hug you gave him. “Woah, hey, I’m fine. I told you- why are you so cold?” 

“I don’t- just hug me, okay?” 

“Yeah, okay,” he said softly, tightening his grip around you. You pulled away when Scott cleared his throat and handed you his jacket. 

“What happened?” he asked. “You look terrible.” 

“Thanks,” you mumbled. “I don’t know exactly what happened. I was at Allison’s and I called you … and the power went out so I tried to go find Allison. The door was locked and-” you looked up at Kira. “I’ll tell you at home, okay? Right now, I just want to go home.” 

---

Not to sound narcissistic or anything, but considering this was the second time you almost died in six months, you expected a little more concern. But Scott was more concerned about Kira getting her phone back. He even gave her your helmet so she could ride on the bike with him! Sure, you hated that bike but still. A little brotherly concern would be nice. 

“Okay, this one will get you into all of the perimeter doors,” Stiles explained as he handed Scott a key. You stopped sulking in the passenger’s seat and paid attention. “This one into the evidence room. And this one’s for my father’s office.” 

“You didn’t steal these, did you?” Scott asked. You rolled your eyes. 

“No. I cloned them using the RFID emulator,” Stiles answered with a nod. 

“Is that worse than stealing?” Scott asked, frown on his face. 

“That depends on your definition of worse,” you said, leaning over the armrest to get closer to the conversation. “But it’s a lot smarter.” 

“Aww, thanks,” Stiles smiled and looked down at you. You realized just how much closer you had gotten. 

“Uh, Scott, can I ask you something?” Kira asked. She led Scott a few feet away and you moved back to your side of the car.

“So they’re cute together. Don’t you think?” you asked. 

“Who?” Stiles asked. You pulled a face. “Oh, Scott and Kira? I mean, yeah. They’ve both got that sunshine child thing going for them.” 

“Yeah, but-” you stopped when they headed back to the car. 

“Okay,” Stiles grinned at them. “So, now almost everybody’s out dealing with the blackout. But there’s always somebody at the front desk. There’s dispatch and usually a night shifter or two.”

You listened as Stiles explained the plan to the two of them and that he could only be lookout because of the investigation around Noah. That your dad was in charge of. He sunk back in his seat and watched Scott and Kira leave. 

“So you think they’ve got a shot at pulling this off by themselves?” you asked quietly, slumping back in your chair. 

“Oh, not a chance in hell,” Stiles answered. “But Scott goes along with all my dumb ideas so-” 

“Your ideas aren’t dumb,” you said, pushing yourself up. “Reckless, maybe. Never dumb.” 

“You think so?” Stiles asked. 

“Of course.” 

“Listen, we, uh, never really got the chance to talk,” Stiles started. “About, you know, that night our parents were missing … and Scott wasn’t …” 

“I remember,” you said.

“You do? Great, uh …” he took a deep breath. “Listen, I’m really sorry for-” 

A car pulled in front and you pulled Stiles down. Peering over the dashboard, you saw that it was your dad. Stiles was unusually quiet next to you. 

“I’ve gotta go help them,” you whispered. You were so close to him. 

“Yeah,” he said quietly. “I understand. I’ll, uh, text Scott.” 

You nodded and made your way into the building. What you were going to talk to your dad about, you had no idea. But you had to try. 

“Dad!” you called after him, pushing through the doors. “Dad! I need to talk to you.” 

Rafael looked surprised to see you. You couldn’t blame him. “What’s wrong?” 

“I just-” you took a breath. You needed something. “Why did you stop coming to see me? I know Willow Creek was a lot closer, but why didn’t you … call? Or text?” 

Rafael looked away and took a deep breath. “Y/N, I … I thought we were in a good place.” 

“We were, but then I got kicked out and you dropped off the map,” you said. “You didn’t even tell me you were coming home.” 

“I didn’t want to have to bring you guys into this,” he explained. “I just wanted-” 

“Wanted what? To do your job and leave?” you asked. “Were you even going to tell us that you were back?” 

You heard the doors open and felt Stiles stop next to you. Rafael was staring at him but you couldn’t look away from your dad. 

“Stiles, what are you doing here?” he asked. 

“I-” 

“I asked him to come,” you said. “Because he’s always been there for me. Just like Noah has always been there for me. Unlike you.” 

You turned to leave and Stiles said he’d be right behind you. You stormed out to the parking lot and sat on the Jeep’s hood while you waited for everyone to finish. 

Stiles was out first, but he didn’t say anything. A few seconds later, Scott and Kira ran out with dumb, goofy grins on their faces. 

“Are you finished?” you asked. 

“Yep! All the pics deleted,” Scott beamed. 

“That was awesome!” Kira was still visibly excited. “I mean, terrifying. Completely terrifying, but kind of awesome! I’ve never done anything like that before. Have you?” 

You choked back some laughter when you saw how quickly Scott’s face fell. 

“Yeah, once or twice,” Stiles said. Kira hummed in acknowledgment. 

“So I guess I should take you home,” Scott said. Kira looked a little crestfallen as they walked away. 

Stiles turned to you. “I guess that’s our cue, huh? After all the excitement of, uh, getting some new emotional baggage to carry around?” 

You laughed pushed yourself off the Jeep. “You know … Cora texted me something about a blacklight party at the loft. If you wanna take your troubled childhood and use it as an excuse to do a little underaged drinking?” 

“I don’t need to use my troubled childhood an excuse for my underaged drinking,” Stiles scoffed. “I’ve got plenty of other reasons to drink underage!” 

You met up with Scott and Kira at the party, but excused yourself to grab some waters for the group. Before anything too crazy happened, you needed to make sure everyone at least had some water in their systems. 

When you got back to the group, however, you found Stiles’ face smeared with luminescent lipstick. You handed the waters out and shoved Stiles’ in his chest. “Seriously?” 

“Y/N, it’s not- it’s not like that!” he yelled over the music. You were already stomping away. 

“I don’t think I care what it’s like anymore,” you said. You laughed. “I mean, honestly, Stiles, I don’t know what I expected. Go have fun with whoever kissed you. Heck, go have fun with Lydia! Just leave me alone.” 

You shrugged him off and went to find wherever they kept the alcohol in the loft. You ended up finding Allison and handed her another drink. She was staring in the direction of Cora and Isaac slow dancing to electro-dance music. 

“Rough night for you, too?” you asked, bumping into her arm. 

“I’m not moping,” she said when she turned to you. “Seriously, I’m not. So don’t pity me.” 

“So this doesn’t have anything to do with the fact that Scott’s here with Kira and you thought Isaac was into you until he asked Cora out?” you asked, downing your own drink. 

“Maybe,” she admitted. “Okay, give me that. I’m not moping sober.”

“That’s the spirit!” you laughed. 

“Wait, why are you moping?” she asked a few drinks later. “And why is Stiles dancing with some girl in a wig?” 

“I’m moping because he’s dancing with some girl in a wig,” you said. “God, I can’t believe I just said that out loud.” 

“So you’re seriously saying you’ve never told anyone how you feel about him?” Allison asked, laughing slightly. 

“I’m saying that …” you sighed. Looking around the room. “That I need to find Lydia. How long has it been since you saw her?” 

“I don’t know … a little while ago.” She frowned. “You’re right. We should find her.” 

You got lost in the crowd and eventually found Stiles racing out of the loft. You grabbed his arm. 

“Hey, have you seen Lydia?” you asked. 

“Seriously, you’re still mad at me about that?” he asked. 

“No- well, yes. But I haven’t seen her since we got here and I’m really worried about her,” you said. 

“I’m sure she’s just making out with Aiden somewhere,” he sighed. “Is that all? Because I’ve gotta go.”

“Where are you going?” you asked. 

He sighed again and pulled out a key. It was glowing under the UV light. “To figure this out.”

---

The sun had started to come up by the time you and Stiles broke into the chemistry classroom. Stiles closed the door carefully behind you and then went to the supply closet. His mystery key fit perfectly. 

“Stiles, that doesn’t mean anything,” you said gently. 

“What? You’re talking to me now?” His words were harsh but his voice was quiet. He was confused. Hurt. 

You watched him go up to the blackboard and take a piece of chalk. He wrote matching atomic numbers next to the originals. His handwriting was an exact match. 

“Does that also not mean anything?” he asked. His voice was shallow. 

You put your hand on his and took the chalk out of his grip. “Hey,” you said gently. “Look at me, okay? Stop looking at the numbers.” 

He did. There were tears in his eyes. “I thought you were mad at me?” 

“I was,” you said. “But I think I was just jealous. It doesn’t matter now.” 

“You forgive me?” he asked. 

“I-” you looked down. And you realized that you did forgive him. He’d done nothing wrong. “I understand that it wasn’t your fault. There’s nothing to forgive.” 

“There’s a lot to forgive,” he said. “Y/N, I- I’m scared. I don’t remember doing this. I’m getting worse.” 

“I know,” you said softly. “So am I. I think Allison’s the only one that's not … not falling apart.”

“I’ve been having these nightmares,” he started. He shook his head and scratched his neck. “I don’t know. Can you still call them nightmares if they happen when you're awake? Or when I think I'm awake. Am I awake?”

“As awake as I am,” you said. 

You reached for his hand when he started picking at his nails again. They were a little bloody and ragged looking, but that didn't matter to you. 

“You promise?” His voice was small and it trembled with every word. He looked like a scared little boy. 

“No matter what.” 

You squeezed his hands and pulled him into a hug. When he pulled away, his hand was cupping your jaw. He ran a hand through your hair, finger stopping behind your ear, and frowned. 

“What’s wrong?”  you asked, tilting your head to the side. 

“Nothing.” His eyes snapped up to meet yours. “Nothing at all.”

You frowned. He was acting strange. “You’re sure nothing's wrong? Cause you’re acting a little-” 

“Actually, I’ve gotta go,” he said. He pulled away and started heading for the door. “I can’t do this.”

“Do what?” You asked, walking behind him. He was going so fast. “Stiles, you drove me here. Stiles!”

But he was gone when you reached the hallway.

“Great,” you mumbled. “Looks like I’m walking home.”

Part 17

[grayswhore]

Prego Prank

Grayson Dolan X Reader

Summary: Grayson is ready to go all out and get Ethan back for spray painting his car for a prank, but he can't think of a big enough prank, that's when you suggest the idea of faking a pregnancy.

Warnings: Mentions of vomit.

"I can't believe he did that shit Y/N. It's been two weeks and I'm still not over it." You laid on Grayson's bed, his head in your lap as you ran your fingers through his hair, trying your best to keep him calm. "At least he had an appointment scheduled right after to get it fixed." You chimed. Grayson shook his head in your lap. "Yeah, after he made me drive through Hollywood just to get there with all that shit on the hood of my car. I swear I gotta get him back, but what the fuck should I do. Everything I think of doesn't seem to be good enough." You sat there in silence as you both thought to yourselves. You mulled it over for a bit until an idea popped in your head. "Ooh, what if... you know what, nevermind." Grayson looks up at you, his head still lying between your thighs. "What? I wanna hear it." You shook your head. "This might be a bit extreme but what if we tricked him into thinking you got me knocked up... That's too much right?" Grayson's eyes lit up and he lifted up from your lap, excitement filling his features. "No, That's it! That's perfect!" Grayson looked at his cracked open bedroom door before getting off of the bed to shut it close and lock it. Ethan was home and he couldn't risk him overhearing you guys.  He paced the room, his mind racing. "Okay, we have to get everything in order to pull this off, what are we gonna need?" You moved to the edge of the bed, a huge wave of thrill ran through you as you realized what you guys were about to do. "We're gonna need a fake positive pregnancy test and some fake ultrasounds. We can probably order both on Amazon or something like that." Grayson pulled out his MacBook Pro and immediately began his search, he joined you at the side of his bed. "Wow, they really do have it on Amazon, what the fuck. This should probably be illegal." He added the fake pregnancy test to his cart before searching for the fake ultrasounds. "Okay, they have a range of different ultrasounds depending on how far along you are in the pregnancy. How many months do you wanna be?" You thought about it for a few seconds. "Well it has to be believable, obviously I don't have a belly so I have to be in the stages where I'm still not showing, probably between a month or two." "Oh babe look," Grayson said. "They even have an ultrasound for twins! Should we go big, this would take the prank to an even bigger level, he's gonna flip the fuck out." You agreed. This definitely took the prank up a notch. This prank was gonna be epic. "Let's do this." You said. He nodded, adding the right ultrasound into his cart. He rubbed his hands together menacingly and feigned and evil laugh before ordering and paying for the items. "Ethan Dolan, prepare to get pranked bitch!"

The items were set to arrive in three days. And throughout those three days, you and Grayson put on your best acting skills whenever Ethan was around. Gray set hidden cameras up over the house in preparation for the prank. Grayson made sure to be overly nice to you, fluffing the pillows on the couch before you sat, fetching you everything you needed without any hesitation. Pampering you so much that you could tell by the look on Ethan's face that he had noticed the weird behavior going on. "Grayson why the fuck are you being so extra?" Ethan asked. "I mean I get that's your girlfriend but isn't this a bit excessive? You've never done all this before. Is something going on?" You and Grayson looked at each other, a knowing look on your face. Ethan was falling right into your trap. He was starting to get suspicious, which is exactly what you wanted to happen. It was almost too easy, but you and Grayson didn't stop there.

You were over the twins house for a movie night Grayson had suggested, little did Ethan know you guys had something else planned. It was the last day before the props would be delivered and you guys would prank Ethan but you guys had one more trick up your sleeve. In the middle of the movie you were watching you decided to head to the bathroom, a plan in motion. Yesterday Grayson texted you telling you he brought fake vomit. He kept it hidden in the cabinet at the bottom of the sink with all the toiletries and cleaning supplies knowing Ethan wouldn't find it. Once you were in the bathroom you locked the door. Grayson also kept a hidden camera in here too. You made sure it was on and recording.  Before you went straight under the sink and grabbed the bottle of store brought throw up. You lifted up the toilet seat and unscrewed the cap, pouring some of the greenish substance into the toilet. You had to fight back actual vomit as you saw the chunks plop in the toilet, and the smell of this stuff... well let's just say this was the most realistic fake vomit you've ever seen. "It's go time." You said to the camera before you started making fake vomit noises, making sure you were loud enough that the boys could hear it. Within seconds Ethan and Grayson were knocking on the door. "Y/N is everything alright. Are you throwing up?" Ethan shouted through the locked door. "Yeah I- I'm-" You started making more gagging noises, pouring a little more of the vomit in the toilet for Ethan to hear, you let it splatter a bit, making it sound as real as possible. "Babe, let me in, let me help you." Grayson said, fake concern in his voice. "O-okay." You said weakly, quickly screwing the cap back on the bottle of vomit and placing it back under the sink. You unlocked the door, opening it wide enough to make sure Ethan saw the throw up in the toilet. "Jesus." Ethan said pinching his nose shut. "Is she okay, Y/N hardly ever gets sick. It smells like she's fucking dying in there." Grayson rolled his eyes at Ethan's comment. "I'll take care of her E, you can go back to the movie." Ethan nodded before leaving. Grayson walked into the bathroom and closed the door. When Ethan's footsteps wear gone you and Grayson broke out into a fit of giggles, you held your hand over your mouth, doing your best to keep your laughter hushed. "He totally fell for it!" Grayson said, bringing your lips to his. "Thank you, your excellent acting skills are really gonna sell this! He's probably already making assumptions." You smiled, a knot of excitement forming in your stomach. "Tomorrow's the big day, we're gonna prank him so hard," Grayson said to the camera, before grabbing it from it's hiding place.  

The day was finally here! Grayson was already preparing. He filmed the intro to the video in the morning. "What's up guys, we're back... Well, I'm back by myself so you know what that means." Grayson said looking into the camera. "It's time for some payback. By the title of this video you guys probably already know what's going down. You guys know my beautiful girlfriend Y/N, her channel will be linked in the bio if you don't know her, but anyway she's going to be helping me prank the shit out of Ethan today. How will she be doing that you ask? She's going to be pretending to be pregnant. Yes, you heard me correctly. We are going to be telling Ethan that I got Y/N pregnant. Now in order to pull this off properly, I ordered a fake pregnancy test and some fake ultrasounds off of Amazon. They came in the mail today and I gotta say, this is for sure going to fool Ethan, honestly Ethan's not that smart so it probably would not have been that hard to trick him, but still, I didn't wanna take any risk. Y/N and I also took the liberty of putting on quite the show for Ethan as well, just to make sure we pull this off. " Grayson makes a mental note to add the footage from the hidden cameras of the previous three days. "It's 8:30am right now, of course Ethan is sleeping. I told Ethan that Y/N and I had something we wanted to tell him over dinner tonight. I tried to seem as serious as possible and I think he brought it so I'm excited and yeah... I'll see you guys then!"

It's 6:30pm by the time Grayson arrives at your house to pick you up. He has his vlogging camera in his hand as you open up the door to the passenger side of the car. You slide in and Grayson turns the camera to you. "Hey, baby momma." He says with a smile and you can't help but grin. "Hey, baby daddy," you say playfully. "How are you feeling?" He questions, keeping the camera on you. "Nervous, I'll admit. But really excited to get Ethan good." Grayson nods behind the camera. "Same. He's gonna learn who daddy really is." Grayson immediately cringes. "Remind me to never say that again." You laugh and he pulls off. You hold the camera as he drives. Grayson continues to explain what will be taking place to the camera. "So right now Ethan's home setting up dinner, I have more hidden cameras in the dining room and that's where the prank will be taking place. He doesn't suspect anything whatsoever. He's been trying to get me to tell him the announcement but I said he had to wait until Y/N got there. I can tell he's anxious. All we gotta do now is get in there and prank his ass." Grayson turns into the parking lot of his house. "We're here. Let's get this show on the road."

Once everything is ready Grayson hands you the fake pregnancy test to pee on. When you do sure enough it comes up as positive. The moment is so realistic you have to remind yourself it's fake to stop yourself from getting freaked out. Of course you see yourself one day having kids with Grayson but you could never actually imagine yourself as a teen mom, especially with twins! You tucked the pregnancy test in your sweater pocket, shaking the nerves away. Grayson shows you the ultrasounds. "Aww." You look at the imaginary twin embryo's. "This is so crazy, look how real this is. I'm falling for it and I know it's fake." Grayson smiles. "Yeah, this was once me and Ethan. Now I can't stand his ass." Grayson hides the ultrasounds in his back pocket as you laugh and make your way into the dining room. You guys sit and eat the Chinese takeout Ethan ordered since neither twin can cook. Suddenly Ethan has an outburst. "Can you guys just tell me already. Fuck, I'm going insane." You and Grayson look at each other. "Do you wanna tell him or should I?" Grayson says. "I'll tell him." You answer back. You feel the pregnancy test in your sweater pocket. "There's no easy way to say this Ethan." You do your best to look scared. "I'm pregnant." Ethan's lets his fork drop out his hand. There's a moment of silence before you finally reach into your pocket and pull out the pregnancy test, reaching over the table to hand it to Ethan. Ethan's eyes widen as he stares at the test. "You're pregnant. So that's why he's been treating you differently, and the vomiting last night. You're actually pregnant." His eyes don't leave the test as he talks. You nod. Grayson makes a show of holding your hand, rubbing small circle with his thumb. "We're gonna have a family E." He says in a soft whisper. Ethan let's out a deep breath. "Does mom know?" Grayson shakes his head. "No, you're the first person we told." Ethan sets the pregnancy test down on the table. "How many months are you?" You lick your lips. "I'm just over a month." Ethan nods. "Are you... Are you going to keep it?" You and Gray share another look before slowly nodding. "Me and Y/N talked about it, and we both agreed we want to keep it. I've always wanted to be a father, and we can afford it, so why not." Ethan runs a hand through his hair. "Why not? Grayson, you're only 19. You can't handle a kid. Babysitting someone else's child and raising your own are two completely different things. You're not ready for a baby." Grayson clears his throat. "Babies." He corrects Ethan. Ethan stares blankly at Grayson. "What?" Grayson goes into his back pocket and takes out the ultrasounds. "Babies." He repeats. "She's having twins Ethan." The color drains from Ethan's face as Grayson hands him the ultrasounds. Ethan stares down at them in disbelief. "No fucking way," Ethan whispers to himself. "Grayson, you're not ready for this. I know in your head you think you're super mature and you know it all but you can't do this. Neither of you are ready for this." You sit there silent, completely stunned by Ethan's reaction. You expected him to be freaked out but he's genuinely disappointed. You don't think you've ever seen Ethan so serious. "I thought you'd be happy for me E. Why are you acting like this." Ethan stands up, the emotions in him becoming too much for him to sit still. "Why am I acting like this. Grayson, I'm your brother, your older twin brother. It's my duty to look out for you and do what I think is in your best interest. I love you, and I don't want to see you ruin your life." Tears fall down Ethan's cheeks and you squeeze Grayson's hand, signaling him to end the prank here. This was supposed to be a fun and harmless prank and you didn't want this is end on a bad note. Grayson takes the hint. "There's one more thing we have to tell you E." Ethan's shoulders sag. "What now, are you gonna tell me you guys secretly eloped or something?" Grayson shakes his head. "No... This is a prank." A big smile creeps on Grayson's face before he burst out laughing. "Gotcha Bitch!" Ethan isn't smiling though. "A prank? But the pregnancy test and the ultrasound, those are real." You shake your head. "Nope, ordered them from Amazon." Ethan looks at you in shock. "But you were throwing up, I saw it in the toilet." Grayson gets up and goes to the bathroom and returns seconds later with the bottle of fake vomit. "Oh, you mean this." He says handing Ethan the bottle. Ethan looks at Grayson with the same look of shock. "What the f-... You son of a bitch!" Ethan says before shoving Grayson. Finally, a smile appears on Ethan's lips. "You fucking got me!" Grayson laughs and you smile, happy to see Ethan in better spirits. "Say hello to the camera bitch ass!" Grayson says as he takes the camera from its hiding spot, putting it in Ethan's face. "NOOOO!" Ethan says as he turns away from the camera. "I fucking cried, fuck!" Ethan turns to look at the ultrasound. "This looks so fucking real." He holds it up to the camera. "You guys can't tell me you wouldn't fall for that. Who's babies are these?" Ethan turns to you. "Y/N, I thought you were my friend, how could you do this?" You shrug your shoulders. "Well, Grayson's my boyfriend so my loyalty lies with him, sorry E." Ethan shakes his head. "I wasn't expecting this from you, Grayson. I'll admit I underestimated you. But that won't happen again. It's on." Ethan turns to the camera. "I'm gonna get him twice as hard so if you're not subscribed you might wanna do that now just saying." Grayson rolls his eyes "Alright, that's it for this video, see you guys next week. Y/N you wanna get over here and do the outro with us?" You walk over and get in view of the camera. "1, 2, 3... PEACE!"

[thesecretfandom]

Wanderlust: The Grandest Adventure - Bughead (Epilogue)

Word Count: 1,328

Rated: G

A/N: We have reached the conclusion of Wanderlust. Thank you to those who supported me and this work. It’s been a long time coming... a year and half in fact. I hope you enjoy! (Read on AO3)

(Previous Chapter) Completed Work

Jughead forked out some cash for a taxi when they finally made it through customs and baggage claim. After an eight hour flight all he wanted was to eat an entire pizza by himself and go to bed immediately. Betty's hand in his changed his plan only slightly. He'd give two pieces of pizza to her and make sure to hold her in his arms as they fell asleep.

It took a ridiculous amount of time to get to his apartment. When they'd booked their tickets home, they hadn't realized that they'd land right in the middle of rush hour. Betty was snoozing on his shoulder in the back of the cab when they finally arrived outside the brick building. He nudged her awake.

"We're home."

Betty blinked slowly up at the four story building and then back at Jughead. "Home is wherever I'm with you."

"Please don't tell me that I married a woman who is going to put song lyrics on the walls."

"I'm just teasing, I want to go see my new home."

His third floor apartment was a sight for sore eyes. He kicked open the door and  tossed his bags on the floor and motioned for Betty to do the same. Before she could step inside, Jughead picked her up and carried her through the door.  In the small place it only took a few steps to get to the other side of the room where his queen sized mattress sat on the floor.

He dropped down onto the bed and pulled her close.

"I am never leaving this bed." He sighed.

Betty laughed. "Well you're going to have to, because first thing tomorrow we're buying a real bed."

"What's wrong with this one?"  

"First, it’s just a mattress, not a bed. Second, it feels like something you got at a thrift store… or a dumpster."

"You may be a little bit correct, but it was cheap."

"It's a good thing I'm a professional bargain hunter then."

Jughead smiled and kissed her forehead. He rolled away from her and walked to the kitchen.

"I'm going to head downstairs and get us a pizza. All I have here is stale cereal and a box of granola bars."

"And you're going to leave me here alone?"

"It's your apartment now too. Just… cover the bathroom counter with stuff that I don't recognize and take up all of the closet with your clothes. That's what wives do, right?"

Betty shrugged. "I think I'll pass on the bathroom counter thing, but seeing that you only own four shirts and two pairs of pants… I'll take you up on the offer for the closet."

"I'll be back in half an hour."

-----------------------------------

One Month Later

Betty had been slowly decorating the apartment. Small things here and there to make it feel more homey. She hung sheer curtains along the walls, and placed large cushions on the floor instead of a couch. Jughead complained only a little bit when she bought a new shower curtain with a large floral pattern.

At least the new curtain gave her something nice to look at while she was vomiting in the toilet one morning. Jughead had been working at the pizza place they frequented, delivering during the day shift, so he was often gone by ten thirty. Betty had been doing her best to work from home, writing a blog that would hopefully gain some traction one day.

What she was more worried about at the moment was the fact that she had been locked in the bathroom for the past five mornings. At first she thought it was food poisoning, but now she found herself running to the drug store before Jughead got home.

Buying a pregnancy test at twenty years old was as awkward at she expected it to be. She hurried home and promptly ran to the bathroom. The minutes that followed were the longest of her life. She paced around the apartment, which seemed to be growing smaller and smaller as each second passed. When the two minute timer finally ran out, her heart stopped in her chest.

---------------------------------------------------

Jughead had a busy day at work. Students were coming back to college and Jughead was making bank in the number of tips he received.  He couldn't wait to come home and tell Betty how much he'd made and maybe even take her out for dinner.

Now that they were back in New York, he felt even more lucky to have Betty waiting for him at home every night. Some nights she would have supper ready for them to share when he got home. She hadn't been feeling well for a few days now, so he decided to bring a pizza home that night.

"Honey, I'm home!" Jughead came through the front door, but Betty was nowhere to be seen. "Betts?"

"In the bathroom, Jug."

"I brought pizza, if you're feeling well enough." He dropped the box on the countertop before pulling two plates out of the cupboard.

"I need to tell you something." She shouted from behind the bathroom door. "You might want to sit down."

He poured a hefty glass of milk and took a seat at the bar height counter. "Okay, I'm sitting."

When his lovely wife finally left the bathroom her hair was disheveled, she was wearing unusually baggy clothes. In fact, not only was she wearing one of his T-shirts, but she was also wearing his sweatpants. She held her hands behind her back, and there was a slight redness  in her cheeks.

"Are you okay? You look… worried?"

"I'm not sure exactly how to say this, so I'm just going to show you." She set something on the counter in front of him and sat down in the seat next to him.

"What is…?" He didn't finish the question. It was very clearly a pregnancy test. "This is…I can't… is this a prank? No, you wouldn't prank me… right?"

She set out three more pregnancy tests, all a different brand and all coming up positive.

"How did this happen?" It was a horrible thing to say in that moment, but he was honestly speechless.

"Jug…"

"Okay, I know how it happened, but you're on the pill."

"Well, uh…" She took a deep breath before continuing. "The thing about the pill is that you have to take it every day. And on our wedding night, or rather the next morning, I… I think I forgot to take it."

"So you're saying that this happened…?"

"This baby is a London Honeymoon baby."

He felt like he was going to faint. They didn't have room in their tiny apartment for a crib, car seat, stroller, or high chair. He needed a better job… one with benefits, health insurance, the works. He didn't want to raise a child the same way he was raised.

"Juggie, say something." Her eyes were glistening, like she was on the verge of tears.

"Oh, Betty… Sweetheart." He pulled her into his arms. "Don't cry… I'm happy, I really am."

"You are?"

"Of course!" He pulled back so he could press a kiss to her lips. "We're gonna be parents."

Betty finally melted into his embrace, her arms coming up to wrap around his neck. Her breaths came out in short shudders and she only held on tighter. Jughead's hands came up to comb through her hair, smoothing down the frizzy ends.

"I love you, Betty."

"I love you too, Jug." She pulled away from him this time and wiped the tears from her cheeks. "Now can we eat that pizza? I'm starving."

"Of course, as soon as you get your pee sticks off the counter."

"Oh, I'm saving those for the scrapbook."

"Seriously?" Jughead raised an eyebrow at her.

"Well, no… but you could at least get some aesthetically pleasing pictures."

"I like the way you think, Betty Jones." He smiled and kissed her forehead. "I'll title it, The Grandest Adventure."

-----------------------------------

A/N: I didn’t want to leave this on a cliffhanger, but I do plan on writing a coda or two Let me know what you though, and which chapter was your favorite?

[lady-divine-writes]

Klaine Advent Challenge - “Dependable” (Rated PG)

Summary: The one where Kurt is a DoorDash driver, trying to earn money for college, when he ends up making an early morning delivery to a special customer. (2576 words)

Notes: Written for the @klaineadvent Challenge 2018 prompts 'festival' and 'incident'. Also, the title and the summary suck, but it's been a long couple of weeks.

Read on AO3.

“Mr. … Mr. Anderson? Blaine Anderson?” Kurt tiptoes cautiously through the dark quad, bright red delivery bag looped over his shoulder announcing his presence from a mile away. Everything in his body screams, “Turn around and run!”, that this is a practical joke at best or at worst – a trap. But the bizarre sense of obligation that comes from both having something that doesn’t belong to you (in this case, a jumbo Jack combo) and a job he doesn’t want to lose keeps him pressing onward, even if he might be walking head on into danger. During his time as a DoorDash delivery driver, he has had a few people pull pranks on him - send him to either an abandoned house, a tree in an empty field, even all the way to Columbus to deliver seventeen pizzas to some underground BDSM and leather festival. That one he didn’t mind so much. The people there accepted his gift of free pizza (since he gets to keep the food if the order is undeliverable), invited him to hang out with them for a while, and showered him with tips.

All in all, not the worst experience in the world.

He doesn’t understand why people pull pranks like that other than they suck. They pay for it in the end – literally. They pay for the food and they can’t get their money back. They’ve basically spent their hard earned cash to waste his time, give him a paycheck and a free meal. How is that a satisfying joke by any stretch of the imagination?

He’s never had anyone prey on him before. He knows it’s a possibility. He’s heard of it happening to other drivers, mostly women - lured out to the middle of nowhere and attacked. But it’s never happened to him.

This delivery might actually be the case.

He looks down at his phone, the only thing he has lighting his way, and checks the address one more time. Lima High School, outdoor quad/lunch area (under construction). Kurt reads that last part and swallows hard. How did he miss that? Under construction? What the heck does that mean?

Kurt looks up and squints into the black, eyes trying to readjust from the bright white screen to pitch black surroundings. A few hard blinks later and he sees it – a sizable portion of the cement in front of the doors that lead to the cafeteria have been torn up. Yellow caution tape wrapped around orange safety cones surround it, warning anyone who comes near not to accidentally walk into it … the way he was about to. Kurt looks left and right, eyes and ears straining for any trace of the customer who supposedly ordered dinner and wanted it delivered here.

“Mr. Anderson? It’s DoorDash. I have your food. Can you tell me where you are, please?” Kurt had tried calling the man, but it went straight to voicemail. Still, Kurt chooses to remain optimistic. There’s a dozen reasons he can think of why someone would place a one a.m. order for Jack in the Box to be delivered to Lima High School. There’s construction being done. Maybe it’s a construction worker. Or the janitor. Or someone from the drama department working late on sets for the spring musical.

A skeptical voice interrupts his positivity to remind him that this is a high school campus. Therefore this has the potential to not only take a turn for the worse, but end up splattered all over YouTube, too.

That thought has him back stepping, ready to turn around and bolt, declare this delivery a bust and give the whole cholesterol laden meal to his stepbrother Finn when he hears a soft whimper. A voice calls out, of all things, his name.

“K-Kurt?”

The fear vibrating in that voice makes Kurt’s blood go cold. He turns toward it, expecting to see some short, shivering, Gollum-like creature standing behind him, but there’s no one. “Mr. Anderson?”

“Kurt?” A hollow knock follows. “Is that you, Kurt?”

Kurt’s entire body turns to stone, wondering how the mysterious voice knows his name. But then he remembers – the app tells the customer who’s delivering his food.

“Yeah, it’s me.” Kurt walks carefully around the cement patio, trying to pinpoint the voice’s hiding place. “Are you Blaine Anderson?”

“Yes! I---I’m Blaine Anderson! Are you alone?”

That question glues Kurt to the ground. Why would Blaine need to know that he’s alone? Can’t he see him?

What did he plan on doing to him?

“Yes, I am … for now. My stepbrother’s waiting for me in the car,” Kurt lies. “He’s a big guy. A football player. And he’ll come running in a moment’s notice if something happens to me!”

“I’m not going to do anything to you! I promise! I need your help because I’m … I’m stuck!”

“Stuck?” Kurt turns on his flashlight app and starts swinging the beam around, searching for any place a human being could get stuck. It strikes him that Blaine may have fallen into that hole, and he hurries over to investigate. He sees darkness, some pipe, and a lot of rubble, but no person. “Stuck where?”

A mumbled sentence answers Kurt’s question.

“Sorry,” Kurt says. “I didn’t catch that. Where are you?”

Blaine sighs. It’s so heavy and defeated, Kurt can hear it as clear as if Blaine were standing beside him. “I’m in the porta potty.”

“Porta potty, porta potty …” Kurt doesn’t recall seeing one when he walked in, and they’re pretty difficult to miss. He turns a full circle, swinging his light around high and low, and spots it in the corner – a tall, blue portable toilet, identical to the ones they have scattered around the McKinley sports fields, but this one has several benches pushed up against the door. And in the slot for a padlock, the handle of a fork has been slid in to keep it closed.

“Oh my God!” Kurt runs up to it, gives the door a knock, and hears a startled yelp reply. “Blaine? Are you in there?”

“Yeah, I am!” Blaine sounds relieved. “Please, get me out!”

“I will! I will! Give me a minute!” Kurt springs into action while flashbacks of a particularly horrible incident involving one of his friends getting locked in a porta potty hops to mind, not to mention his own experience getting locked in a dumpster. It was on spaghetti Tuesday, and ruined one of his favorite Alexander McQueen sweaters. “One second and I’ll have you out!”

“Okay.”

Kurt puts down his bag and starts shoving benches aside. They’re not heavy, just awkward, stacked in such a way that the metal supports lock together, making it difficult for him to maneuver without pinching his fingers. And since he had to put his phone in his pocket to free up his hands, he’s doing this completely in the dark.

This is definitely more nightmare fuel than he needs in one night.

With the benches gone, he slides the fork out of the lock. Before he can do anything else, the door flies open, nearly smacking him in the face, and a boy about his age stumbles out. He bends over double, sucking in air so quickly, Kurt thinks he’s about to pass out. Or puke. Kurt wouldn’t blame him. The stench that wafts from the narrow stall hits Kurt’s olfactories like a hammer, and he retches. He can’t picture having to live with that for longer than a few seconds.

Kurt pulls out his phone to check if Blaine has any injuries. He looks the boy over from a short distance, searching for black eyes or a fat lip. But aside from having been locked in a porta potty for who knows how long, he appears unharmed.

Blaine’s knees wobble. He weaves to his right, unable to stand upright yet, finds one of the moved benches and takes a seat. “T-thank you. You have no idea how stuffy it is in there.”

“I can imagine.” Kurt picks up the DoorDash bag with the boy’s meal inside and holds it protectively in front of him. This could still be a prank, Kurt reminds himself, peeking stealthily around as Blaine struggles to compose himself. “But, if you don’t mind me asking - you were locked in a porta potty. Why did you order DoorDash? Why didn’t you call your parents? Or the police?”

Blaine takes a few deep breaths, then lifts his head, sadly looking Kurt in the face. Kurt smiles sympathetically at what he sees. The boy looks pale, as if he’s recovering from a flu he’s had for at least a week, his bottom lip quivering, his forehead covered in sweat. The top few buttons of his shirt are undone, and his sleeves rolled up to his biceps. The mop of curls on the top of his head hang damp and limp, as if he ran his fingers through them obsessively. His eyes, shining in the light from Kurt’s flashlight app, translate clearly from their hazel depths how exhausted he feels. He definitely looks like a boy who’s been locked in a small, humid box for a few hours, stressed beyond belief, trying to find a way out.

But he’s also a handsome young man, someone Kurt would definitely notice walking down the halls of school if they both went to McKinley.

“I was on low battery,” Blaine explains. “My parents are away for the weekend. My brother would be no help. He’d make fun of me, then tease me worse when I got home. And I’ve tried the police before. They think it’s a practical joke. They don’t even send anyone to check it out.”

A lump rises to Kurt’s throat when he hears that. Apparently this has happened before then. And no one’s done anything about it yet? No one?

“My dad used to joke that if my life was ever in danger, call for pizza, not the police, because most pizza places guarantee they’ll be at your house in 30 minutes or less. So, I kind of went with that and took the chance you’d actually show. I wrote: ‘Help me! I’m locked in a porta potty!’ in the special instructions box. Didn’t you see it?”

“Sorry. No. The only note on your order was please bring extra Chick-fil-a sauce. I couldn’t, by the way. They’re not open right now.”

“You know, I keep trying to erase that, and it never works. I don’t even order from Chick-fil-a anymore. Stupid app. No offense.”

“None taken. I feel the same way.”

Blaine sighs, resting his head in his hands. An awkward silence grows, and Kurt can’t think of anything to do, any way to make this better. And he wishes he could. He really does. If they were at McKinley, he’d take Blaine to see Mr. Schue. Will Schuester has spent much of his teaching career championing his students’ causes. He’d definitely help Blaine.

But here at Lima High, Kurt knows no one. McKinley High and Lima High are in the same district. They compete against each other, go to each other’s rallies and what not. Maybe Mr. Schue could still help.

But not right now. Not at one a.m. For lack of anything better to do, Kurt unzips his bag and takes out Blaine’s food. “Well, uh …. here’s your order.”

“Thanks.” Blaine reaches out a trembling hand and takes his food. He puts the bag in his lap, hugging it like a security blanket.

“No problem.” Now what? Kurt thinks. This is generally the point where he races back to his car and hopes for another order, but he can’t leave Blaine here in the dark with his meal. “Are you going to be okay?”

“Yeah. I mean … this happens all the time. Jerk hole jocks. No offense to your stepbrother.”

“None taken. He used to be a jerk hole himself.”

“I’m an easy target. I’m the only out gay kid at this school, and I …”

“… constantly get picked on?” Kurt finishes, taking a seat beside Blaine. “Thrown in dumpsters, shoved into lockers, that kind of thing?”

Blaine turns to look at Kurt. “Yeah. How do you know?”

“It happens to me a lot at my high school, too. For the same reason.”

“Oh.” Blaine’s eyes open wide when he gets it, but he sits up straighter. “Oh, I’m sorry. What school?”

“McKinley.”

“Ah. Land of the Slushie Facials.”

“So you’ve heard of it?”

“Ironically, I did everything in the world to avoid going there. But Lima High’s not much better. Minus the slushies.”

“You’re lucky. They’re a special kind of hell.”

“I bet.”

Kurt looks down at his phone with the red and white app screen still visible. He has yet to mark this order delivered, and he should. He should get going. He’s already considered late (unavoidable since he had to search the campus to find Blaine in the first place), and he really should get as much work as he can in before he has to be home. He’s saving up for college. His dream school – NYADA. But the thought of bidding Blaine adieu doesn’t sit well with him. He needs to know that Blaine is going to be okay, that he’s safe, and that his brother isn’t going to give him too much grief for what happened tonight.

Blaine doesn’t have anyone reliable in his corner if the person he put his faith in was a food delivery driver.

If they went to the same school, they’d have one another.

Kurt wonders if that’s a possibility …

He swipes his finger across the screen. Instead of waiting for another order, he marks this one delivered, and signs off. He has months to save up for school. As important as NYADA is to him, he has a feeling that there’s something more important he needs to do here.

Be there for Blaine.

“Do you have a way to get home?” Kurt asks.

“I … yeah. My car should be in the parking lot. Only it’s a far parking lot, and I’m a little bit afraid of walking out there by myself … in the dark. I just don’t know if they’re waiting for me. I don’t think they would stick around here on a Friday night, but …”

“Gotcha. Well, Blaine Anderson, if you would, please do me the honor of letting me escort you to your car. Then maybe you and I can go somewhere and talk? Get a coffee? Compare battle scars? I’ve got a doozy on the back of my calf where I cut it on a trash can.”

“Hey, I think I have one of those, too.” Blaine waits for Kurt to stand, then clumsily follows, putting a hand to his hip when it complains about moving. “I wish my phone hadn’t died. Then we’d have two flashlights to light our way. What happens if we get ambushed? Do you think your stepbrother can help us?”

“I … uh … kind of lied about him being here. Sorry about that. But don’t worry.” Kurt reaches into his DoorDash bag and pulls out an industrial-sized bottle of pepper spray wrapped in a black leather holder with a silver spike on the bottom – courtesy of the kind members of the Lace and Leather Sadomasochists Club of Greater Columbus. He unlocks it and gives it a good shake. “I’ve got us covered.”

[peaches-of-1]

BTS Hyung Line- Hanahaki 1

In this, you are a fan who is hopelessly in love with a member of Bangtan.

Mstrlst | Hanahaki 2 (they love you)

Jin

Curled up on your bed, you clutched your stomach waiting for the coughing fit to finally subside as it made your abdomen hurt worse than any cramp. Tears streamed down your face. You wouldn’t be able to talk to him if you ever got the impossible chance of seeing him in person. All words would probably be interrupted by coughing up smeraldo petals anyways. He’d be disgusted by you.

Why’d it have to be him? He lived in Seoul, Korea, and no matter how close or far away you lived from Kim Seokjin, he’d never feel the same way about you. Just some rando fan. That’s all you would be to him. Maybe you’d have hope. Maybe there was a chance that he could see the desperate love behind your eyes and choose to be with you forever, to actually love you the same way you loved him.

You laughed at your own foolishness, causing another set of petals to eject themselves from your lungs. The very flowers he held in his hands were now living in your lungs. How ironic could this disease be?

Yoongi

You’d do anything to get rid of it. First, you had to learn proper Korean, but every time you opened up a text book, the coughing would keep you from forming a single character. Cascading from your lips were several petals from a flower most of the world called fake. Smeraldo, sincerity that couldn’t be delivered. Fucking beautiful poetry for such an ugly feeling, wasn’t it? You just wanted to die.

It’d be easier that choking on Korean syllables just so you had the chance to talk to him properly if you ever met him. Why did the universe choose him? Which deity decided it would be your fate to fall in love with a K-Pop idol? You had a few words to say to them through fits of coughing as your heart ached. Why you? Why? It just wasn’t fair!

You started crying which caused the flowers to settle down just a little. Your lungs were on fire as you wanted to take a proper breath. It was physically painful to listen to his rapping, but you loved him so much that there was honestly no other option. He was now the air in your lungs that the flowers refused to let escape.

Hobi

It was foolish to think that getting to come to a signing would make things better. Your disease wasn’t sure how to react. He was right there, and so your heart pounded in your ears. All you had to do was give him the stupid love letter and greet the other guys, talk to them a bit. Was it supposed to be this hard? Love made everything hard.

Being literally lovesick didn’t help. You almost had tears in your eyes trying to suppress the cough in your chest. Several people asked if you were ok, and you nodded and faked a smile behind your face mask. Luckily, there were several fans here wearing various colors and patterns of them, so you didn’t look out of place. You had chosen black so that the blood seeping through wouldn’t be obvious.

There were only two more people in front of you. Then you could give him the letter. Drum beats. Flower petals. Everything was pounding inside of you, and it became too much. You ran out of the line and darted for the bathroom, unsure of which door you burst through to get to the closest unlocked stall. You viciously coughed and choked out smeraldo petals mixed with gardenias into the toilet.

Someone knocked to see if you were ok.

Namjoon

Your curiosity told you to click on “Dope” by BTS and that was it. There was no longer any hope for you. Kim Namjoon took all the air out of your lungs and replaced it with nothing. It wasn’t fair, though! It really wasn’t! Why did it have to be him?  He lived over a million miles away and there was no chance you were ever going to meet him. You cough and you feel the rubbery and fragile texture of flower petals trickle out of your mouth.

It hurt to breathe sometimes and other times it was impossible. Listening to his voice make the coughing stop but you would have a fit the second it went away. You weren’t sure if you’d ever be ok again. No one could understand what that man did to you because it wasn’t just a passionate crush or infatuation. You wished and prayed that it was as shallow as that, then maybe it wouldn’t hurt so much. But it wasn’t. He was just so kind and beautiful, and he cared so much about the people around him. Incredibly supportive of his members and fans.

You hacked up a few smeraldo flower petals. If anyone saw, they’d probably call the police on you for doing a frightening prank. This was the first time they had been accompanied by blood. The red starkly contrasting the light blue tint of the flowers but matching perfectly with the roses. The roses were new. It would probably hurt less if there were thorns with it.

It was getting worse. (Gif Source)

Jimin

You agreed! He was your little mochi. He was cute and devious at the same time, and you loved that about him. Such a skilled dancer and was the human form of the word S O F T and he was smol and you loved him. You told the world with you twitter and tumblr posts. People didn’t get it.

Neither did you, but that didn’t stop you from coughing up pastel blue and red petals. Smeraldo and tulips. You would love him forever, no doubt about it and there was nothing you could do to make it go away. There were rumors of a surgery, but you’d take the pain. Your lungs would struggle to get the petals out of your lungs if it meant you could love your Jiminie.

So what if he didn’t even know you existed? So what if he’s never seen your face and you’ve only seen his through a screen? You loved him and nothing in the world was going to stop it.

Taehyung

He did a close up of his smile during his V Live and you took your phone to the bathroom as you spewed up the petals. Hanahaki. If you were lucky, someday it’d be replaced by fake butterflies instead of real petals. You weren’t. It’s been like this for just over a year now. The first time you saw his smile in your recommended. All the research said that you’d have to get a surgery to remove your feelings for him and the flowers would then die.

You weren’t ready to stop loving him. You most likely never would. There were times just thinking about Kim Taehyung would cause a couple of pastel blue petals to trickle out your mouth. It wasn’t until you saw blood on them that you thought maybe you should try loving someone else. You should stay away from everything V and yet, more blood flowed.

Opening your eyes, you saw a Korean boy with a boxy smile acting a cringy type of cute on a TV screen. He was V from BTS. “Do you feel anything?” the doctor asked in her huge circular glasses, and you shook your head. “I mean. He’s cute and I like his group’s music, but that’s about it.”

Jeon Jungkook

You held tightly onto your Jungkook in a bunny suit body pillow as you felt it the first time. It was getting hard to breathe even though your lungs were screaming for fresh oxygen. You did you best to give it to them, but you couldn’t stop coughing. The house was empty tonight, and so you were able to be as loud as you needed to be. Your throat was getting rough. No, there was something there.

Quickly, you ran to the bathroom and a river of a daisies and a semi familiar flower left your mouth. You were crying because of the force. You were crying because of the lack of air. You were crying because you were scared. What was this? The coughing had began just a week ago when you clicked on a video by a group called BTS. Personally, you favored the youngest.

The obsession with the group happened so quickly. You started to buy mostly his merch but you never thought it would end up like this. What even was this? The thought crossed your mind. Hanahaki. You loved him. He didn’t love you back. Why would he? Jungkook didn’t even know you existed.

[svtsweet]

Good Boy

A/N: First a dom Vernon and now a sub.....give me a minute before my head explodes. Whew I’m going to need a break after writing all these!! And welcome to the app!

Vernon x Reader

Summary: Vernon’s sour attitude begins to ruin a night out with the Hip Hop Unit so you take matters into your own hands to relieve the bitter tension. 

Genre: Smut

Warnings: Sub Vernon, Public Sex, Oral Sex (male receiving)

Word Count: 1700+

Eating with Vernon had never been more fun. The rest of the Hip Hop Unit joined you and soon the five of you were seated at a booth in a Korean barbeque restaurant. The lighting is dim and the chatter that erupts between Mingyu and you adds to the noise surrounding you. Mingyu directs a question at Vernon who had stayed quiet almost the entire night. He’s stiff besides you as you make eye contact with him for a moment, but then he breaks away and shrugs his shoulders. You’re set back a bit by his response and shake your head, going back to talking to Mingyu. Wonwoo throws himself in and you laugh at a bad joke he says. You glance over at Vernon to catch him laugh as well but to your surprise he’s going through his phone, a single earbud resting in his ear. He was fine earlier that day, even suggesting this whole outing to you. What was causing him to be in such a bad mood? The waitress comes by to take your order simultaneously ending your thought process.

“Vernon, is there anything specific you want?” you ask as the waitress holds out a pen and paper.

He shakes his head, eyes fixated on the small screen in front of him. In the end, you give out your orders to the waitress and she leaves. The five of you are left in awkward silence that Seungcheol tries to break by asking you some questions about your job and how it’s treating you. You try to answer but Vernon cuts you off.

“It’s going great.”

Seungcheol leans back in his seat, Wonwoo and Mingyu obviously uncomfortable with how everything is going. Vernon needs to be taught a lesson, you think. You reach over and place a hand on his knee, the table a perfect cover.

You give Seungcheol a complete answer. “It was a bit rough last week but I toughed it out and now it’s all good.” You squeeze Vernon’s knee, smirking when he abruptly sits up in his seat.

Seungcheol smiles and carries on with to the prank Seokmin tried and failed to pull on Jihoon. Mingyu and Wonwoo laugh along with him and you smile as they stray into a different conversation, hearing their bizarre shenanigans. Little did they know that you smiled because they had no idea your hand was inching higher on Vernon’s leg.

Vernon still hasn’t put his phone down but you know his attention is anywhere but the bright screen, the way he tenses beneath your touch evidence enough. You continue stroking up and down on his thigh, your thumbs occasionally pressing into his clothed flesh. The waitress comes back to deliver your drinks but with the how Vernon jumps in his seat, she might as well be holding a knife to his face. You chuckle into your other hand at his reaction, the others eyeing him suspiciously.

“Vernon,” Mingyu inquires, “are you feeling okay?”

Vernon nods vigorously. “Yeah, just thirsty-” He squeaks suddenly as your hand hovers over his crotch. Throwing a glance your way, he pouts and goes to tap at his phone, with little interest you had no doubt. It does nothing to stop you. Taking a sip of your drink, you rub his growing bulge and smirk when he props his forehead on his hand, face down so that his bangs would cover his eyes.

“Are you going to drink your water?” Wonwoo asks.

Vernon nods slowly, refusing to make eye contact. Watching intently as Vernon takes a small sip from his glass, your meager attempt to hide your snicker wears thin as you increase the pressure on his cock. The glass almost tips over as he tries to place it back down, whimper threatening to spill the liquid in his mouth when your palm touches his sensitive tip. The other boys eye him curiously but return to their conversation. Speeding up the rate of your ministrations, Vernon can’t help but lay his head into the crook of your neck.

“Don’t make me cum here,” he pleads below his breath.

Smugly, you tilt your head so that your lips brush against his forehead. “You deserve it though.”

Vernon whines softly. “I’ll do anything, please.”

Deciding he’s had enough, you remove your hand from his now hard erection but keep it on the inside of his thigh. “Go and wait for me in the bathroom like a good boy.”

You can feel him grit his teeth, protest on its way, but you drag your nails up his leg, palming him until his legs start shaking. “Okay, okay,” he concedes, voice strained.

You give his thigh one final squeeze and kiss his hair. “Good boy.”

There’s no way his walk to the bathroom is comfortable, not with his dick almost ripping through his pants. The thought has you giggling, Seungcheol, Wonwoo, and Mingyu giving you a look. You distract them start a new conversation though, waving off Vernon’s strange behavior when they ask. Spending a good ten minutes chatting with them, you finally excuse yourself to follow through with your plan. You walk into the mens bathroom quietly, breathing a sigh of relief when you see no one else inside. That is besides the familiar pair of sneaker at the last stall. You knock on the door and grin at Vernon’s flushed face.

“Did I keep you waiting?” you tease.

“Why did you do this?”

You push him further into the stall with a firm hand on his chest and close the door. “Funny, I was about to ask you the same question. Why were you acting that way out there?”

He furrows his brows and looks to the ground. “Watching you laugh and smile because of them,” he motions with his head to the trio still sitting at the table, “I couldn’t stop thinking about you leaving me for someone else, someone better.” He shrugs. “I guess I...I got jealous.”

Your hand goes limp on his chest, heart burning with the desire to cradle him in your arms and make those awful thoughts of his go away. “There is no reason for you to feel that way. Ever. Because I love you and only you Vernon.” You massage his shoulders gently, urging him to get his eyes off the floor and back to you. When it doesn’t work, you drag your hands up and around his neck, twirling the strands of hair at your reach tenderly. “Let me show you how much I love you.”

Vernon lets out a silent gasp as you kiss him, lips moving slowly on his and tug him lower. He hesitates but returns the kiss, his hands hovering around your figure. Just as it gets heated, his tongue sliding into your mouth and body solid on yours, you pull back and trail your lips down to his neck. Sucking until you find his sweet spot, your fingers ghost over his abdomen. Vernon groans at the feeling, his hands finding comfort in your lower back. But you don’t stop there. The cold floor of the tiled bathroom hits your knees but that doesn’t compare to the wide eyes staring down at you. He stammers a protest when you tug his sweats down but you shush him by kissing up along his shaft, causing a low curse to stumble out of him. He whines when your thumb grazes the sensitive vein under his cock. He’s practically coming undone already and you haven’t taken him into your mouth yet. Your free hand soothes the tense muscles of his thighs and you take the moment to gaze up at him.

“You’re going to have to be quiet baby. Can you do that for me?”

Vernon gulps and from your angle, you can barely see his lips parting and tongue dabbing the corners. He nods quickly, placing a hand to the back of your head yet you tut at him, moving it to the wall on your left.

“You haven’t been a good boy.”

He bites his lip, releasing it with a heavy breath. “Please, I’ll be a good boy for you. Fuck, I’ll be so good.”

His impatience fumes an excitement within you that allows you to let him bring his hand back. He leans his remaining hand on the stall wall next to him and watches you with hungry eyes. Locking your eyes to him, you lick a long, slow strip on his tip.

“Shit, ah.”

You tighten your fingers on him, reminding him of your order. Vernon murmurs an apology and closes his lips shut. Chuckling up at him, you ultimately put him in your mouth, your tongue caressing his underside. You spend a few minutes like this, warming him up before taking him in deeper. His head falls back the second you hollow your cheeks around him. Seeing him so worked up, along with his nails digging into your scalp, gears you into bobbing your head. You’re slow at first, sliding him in and out until the pain in your lower jaw numbs. Now relaxed, you grab his hips to steady yourself and increase your speed. Below your fingertips, Vernon trembles with the need to moan, call your name, do anything to mellow out the tension at the pit of his stomach. Knowledge of this spikes your yearning to get him to cum, your throat closing in on him and your hand going to play with his balls. Vernon’s release doesn’t fall far behind, his whole body shuddering as you swallow around him and take all of his warm liquid that you can.

A loud pop fills the stall when you pull out and you wipe your lips clean with your tongue. Vernon has to prop himself up on the toilet paper rack to stabilize himself, his breathing hard and shallow. Getting up on your feet, you brush his sweaty bangs out of his face and plant a kiss on his forehead.

“You did good baby. Now rest up before you rejoin us at the table. The guys might have a lot of questions for why you took so long.”

Vernon gapes at you, cheeks reddening as he searches your eyes for guidance. Scoffing at him, you pull up his sweats and pat his chest, exiting the bathroom hoping your food had been dropped off in the meanwhile.

[wazafam]

Each episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine is packed with scenes guaranteed to make anyone watching laugh out loud. From the character's humorous antics to epic one-liners, there's no shortage of material to leave you tickled-pink with laughter. But, apart from the humor, sometimes Brooklyn Nine-Nine gets real, tackling deep issues like discrimination.

RELATED: Brooklyn Nine-Nine: 10 Episodes With A Valuable Lesson To Learn From

Whether the show is poking fun at the lives of its characters with funny scenes like the myriad of Halloween Heists the main squad of the precinct engages in or addressing some serious issues, some heartwarming scenes often arise.

10 Family Game Night

The episode, "Game Night," when Rosa came out to her parents was hailed as one of the best episodes of Brooklyn Nine-Nine as it struck a chord with many people. While her 99 squad accepted her truth with open arms, hearts, and minds, her actual family was not so understanding. They reacted badly to the news, calling her bisexuality a phase that would pass and something inconsequential.

The worst blow was when, even after her father accepted her, Rosa's mother was still on the fence and she was uninvited to their weekly family game night. Jake, having been at the awkward center of the fight between Rosa and her parents, gathered the squad and went to Rosa's apartment with games and pizza for a family game night of their own. It was touching for Rosa to know that even though her family was struggling with processing her truth, she had another family that accepted her.

9 "Show Me Going"

A typical day in the life of a cop involves tracking down criminals, bringing them down, and generally facing danger. Once in a while, they face moments of grave, life-threatening danger, and Brooklyn Nine-Nine portrayed this during season 5, episode 20, "Show Me Going." Rosa and many other cops were in a building with an active shooter and the rest of the squad had no choice but to sit and wait, while they listened to reports of shots fired and officers down.

In the end, when Rosa finally came back to the station, everyone was relieved that she was safe and unharmed. The hugs she got from Gina and Amy (who was covered in toilet water from her attempts at fixing a broken toilet) were both sweet and touching, especially because Rosa isn't one to show emotion, even at the best of times.

8 April 28th

One of the best Halloween Heists was "HalloVeen" from season 5. The heist ended with Jake proposing to Amy, and while that was absolutely adorable, the story behind the proposal was even better.

While everyone was trying to take credit for giving Jake the idea to propose, he told them the decision came to him on April 28th. Confused because it wasn't a significant date, Amy asked why that date in particular. The scene flashed back to a scene of Amy and Jake in bed, while he was reading and she was doing a crossword puzzle. She complained about a typo in the puzzle and he looked over at her with a smile and at that moment, he knew he wanted to marry her.

7 Saving the Nine-Nine

At one time, the 99th precinct was at risk of being closed. Each member of the squad dealt with the pending shutdown in a different way. Amy and Holt spent the time catching up on mentorship, Jake and Charles did everything they ever wanted to do while solving their last case and Gina spent the day tricking people into drinking cement.

RELATED: Brooklyn Nine-Nine: The Main Characters, Ranked By Power

As they awaited the results, Captain Holt gave a touching speech about the Nine-Nine and their duty to serve the community. Gina's fans heard the speech via a video she was recording for a prank and were so touched they demanded that the Nine-Nine remain open.

6 Dog Funeral

Charles' attachment to his dogs was so strong that when one of them—Jason—died, he was heartbroken and barely able to function. At first, Rosa told him to get over it because it was just a dog. When that didn't work, Rosa got a new dog and offered it to Charles, telling him to even name it Jason to replace the one he'd lost.

Charles declined and Rosa was forced to look after the dog until she could figure out what to do with it. During that time, she grew attached to the dog, named him Arlo, and began to understand how Charles was feeling. Instead of forcing him to move on, she organized a funeral for Jason and told Charles to take all the time he needed to work through his grief.

5 Baby Ava and Godfather/Godhusband Jake

Terry was a proud father of twins and in season 3, episode 8, "Ava," when his wife, Sharon, was expecting their third child. The birth was surrounded by drama, which involved Sharon almost giving birth at the station. Jake, whom Terry had left to watch Sharon, had to make the difficult decision to take Sharon to the hospital even though both Sharon and Terry hadn't wanted that because of a previous bad experience during the birth of the twins.

At the end of the day, everything went well and Sharon delivered her baby safely. Terry called Jake in afterward and introduced him to Ava as her godfather in a sweet, touching moment that brought tears to the eyes of many.

4 Baby Mac

No matter how many times the baby thing is done on the show, Brooklyn Nine-Nine managed to maintain the beauty of the moment every time. After a long time of shipping Amy and Jake together, fans were delighted to see them have a baby. As with all things Brooklyn Nine-Nine, the whole event was shrouded in drama, including a city-wide blackout, foiled bank robbery, an epic dance to "Push It" by Holt and Terry, and an appearance from Sergeant Peanut Butter.

Despite all that, Baby Mac arrived safely and watching Amy and Jake embrace their son was quite a tear-jerking moment that will forever remain on the minds of every Brooklyn Nine-Nine fan.

3 Toit Nups

Even a bomb threat couldn't keep these two lovebirds from saying their "I Do's." The day didn't go as planned. They couldn't use their venue, Amy's dress was ruined, Cheddar ate half of the wedding cake, and Amy's ex kept proposing to her. But still, Charles managed to pull off the perfect wedding for Amy and Jake at the last minute.

RELATED: Brooklyn Nine-Nine: 10 Biggest Episodes For Jake & Amy's Relationship

With Holt as the officiant and even an appearance from Mlepnos (someone Amy and Jake met on the job during the first season), everything about the wedding was beautiful. It was quite rewarding for fans of the show who'd spent seasons shipping the two.

2 Gina Moments

Gina was famous for epic one-liners and the shadiest burns in the precinct. But she also had her sweet moments. Ironically, some of these were part of her "Gina Moments," a parting gift to everyone in the precinct when she decided to quit her job and follow her dreams.

It's hard to pick a favorite, but one of the sweetest of these Gina moments was the 1-year yogurt subscription she gifted Terry. Especially given how much Terry loves yogurt.

1 Breakup Music

Rosa wasn't one to show emotions, especially at work, so Holt was caught totally off-guard when she burst into tears after revealing that her girlfriend had broken up with her. Holt felt especially bad because he wrongly assumed she wanted to propose to Jocelyn.

To make her feel better, Holt did something she wanted with her. In this case, it was sitting at a bar, listening to death metal music through headphones. Even though he hated the music, Holt stuck it out because he wanted to be there for Rosa and she greatly appreciated that.

NEXT: Brooklyn Nine-Nine: 10 Questions The Final Season Needs To Answer

Most Heartwarming Scenes Of The Entire Series | ScreenRant from https://ift.tt/3vPnBqH

[thespookyswan]

A Simple Man

AO3

Geoff was a simple man. For as long as he could remember, he lived a modest life on his little farm, tucked far from any city or even small country town. As a child, his father drove him nearly thirty minutes a day to go to the nearest bus stop for him to go to school. The nearest town to their farm was about forty-five minutes away, and that didn’t mean much to him. He enjoyed his life away from anyone and everyone. He liked to be alone. He had his chickens, his plants, his trees, and his old house; that was all that he needed.

He didn’t like to admit it, but he needed Gavin too.

“I got you a new cellphone.” Gavin sat at the old wooden table in Geoff’s kitchen, opening the little white box before him. Gavin had lived with Geoff’s family years ago when he came to the United States on an exchange program- and never left Geoff. He lived in the nearest city now, but visited often. Geoff didn’t admit he enjoyed it.

“What do I need a new phone for? Mine works fine.” Geoff complained, pulling the old flip phone out of his pocket. He’d gotten it when Gavin had convinced him it was more worth it than a landline years ago, and he did admit getting in contact with his buyers was much easier with the thing.

“Geoff, every time we talk you break up like crazy on that thing. I can’t even text you anymore! You need something new. I got a deal when I got my new one. It’s a smartphone.” Gavin plugged the charger into the wall and plugged the new phone in, waiting for it to turn on to start getting it ready for Geoff.

“A smartphone? I don’t need the government watching my every move.” Geoff scoffed, and Gavin rolled his eyes as he took Geoff’s ancient phone and started to transfer the important numbers over for him.

“Your life will be easier. For one, you can use my Amazon Prime account, and that way I don’t have to drive an hour on a Sunday night to bring you fucking toilet paper when your truck breaks down.” Gavin smiled at the memory and so did Geoff.

“You know you enjoyed that. I made you the best dinner you’d ever eaten that night.” Geoff huffed.

“Yeah, but with my new job I can’t be doing that stuff anymore. And Michael would lose his mind.” Gavin replied, and Geoff groaned.

“Right, Michael. I don’t understand how you’re with that annoying kid. You can do so much better than him.” He took a seat opposite to Gavin and watched him work the phone like a pro, no idea what he was doing.

“You just don’t like him because he made fun of your chickens. He’s a sweetheart, you just don’t know it. He cares about me,” Gavin got a stupid smile on his face, “You’ve never dated anyone. You wouldn’t understand.”

“I have too dated!” Geoff gasped, offended, “I was quite the lady-killer in high school, Gavin.”

“Yeah, lady-killer, for other men, because you made them lesbians.” Gavin shot back, and Geoff gave him a hard glare. “And anyway, high school romance that doesn’t last, doesn’t count.”

“You’re annoying.” Geoff muttered, and Gavin gave him a killer grin and waved him closer.

“Look, I’m done. I’ve got all the numbers in. Let me show you what to do, old man.”

---

Geoff couldn’t say he hated the smartphone. It was, as Gavin had promised, very convenient. It was very simple to shoot Gavin a text, or call one of his buyers, without having to fight against what his old phone had become. He liked the options of games right there in his pocket, and he could listen to music out in the field now. Of course, it was a hassle to get used to, but he had to thank Gavin for giving him a new thing to entertain himself with. He could only watch Jeopardy so many times.

He’d honestly forgotten all about the Amazon thing by the very next day; Gavin had made him order some cleaning supplies to learn how to use the app, ‘and to clean this place up!’ It was around noon when he heard the knock at his door and was a bit shocked. Most people just came in, because anyone who knew him knew he always had his door open during the day.

He peaked his head around the corner to see who was there and was greeted by a tall man with a handsome smile. He straightened himself up quickly and made his way to the front door.

“Hi there. I’ve got your Amazon order here.” The man held up the package and Geoff caught a glimpse of his name tag: Ryan.

“Cool. Uh, thanks.” Geoff opened the door up and Ryan shoved a small electronic device into his hands.

“I just need you to sign here.” Ryan pointed, and Geoff nervously used his finger to slide a very sloppy signature on it. Ryan took it back when he was done and handed Geoff the box.

“Thanks?” Geoff said again, feeling beyond awkward. New human interaction was almost a foreign concept to him at this point.

“Not a problem. You sure live far out, you know? I’m the regular guy for Yukon, but I didn’t even know anyone lived out this way. When I got this address, I was shocked. I had to ask in town to make sure I wasn’t being pranked.” Ryan laughed, looking around the vast amount of open land that was Geoff’s property.

“Uh, yeah… I’m a farmer, so… I need the space.” Geoff replied, trying very hard to just be normal. It really didn’t help that he found Ryan very attractive. It’d been a long time since he’d seen anyone he’d consider fucking, but if Ryan shoved his way inside right now, Geoff wouldn’t complain.

Jesus, Geoff. What are you thinking. He couldn’t imagine the last time he’d had a thought like that. Maybe when he got drunk after his father’s passing and fucked some random stranger at that bar. Good memory.

Ryan gave him a warm smile though and said his goodbyes then, leaving the front porch and walking back to his delivery truck. Geoff stared after him, watching his ass in the relatively tight pants he was wearing. This feeling was one he hadn’t felt in such a long time and he quickly closed the front door and sat down, staring at the package in front of him.

The image of Ryan’s buff arms was plastered in his head. How the hell was a regular old delivery driver so ripped, while Geoff, a hardworking farmer, had the most regular arms a guy could have? And his hair. It was so wavy, yet so styled at the same time. Like waves a wheat in the summer sun. Plus, those god damn eyes, sea blue, so deep Geoff could fall right into them.

He could practically feel Ryan shoving him back against the wall and running a hand up his side, under his shirt, sparking every bit of untouched skin with what it really, really needed after far too long…

---

“You met this guy exactly one time and had, what, a half a minute conversation with him, and jerked off over it? You really are ill.” Gavin commented over the phone, and Geoff gave the bathroom mirror a stink eye.

“I was asking you seriously.” Geoff said through a mouthful of toothpaste, spitting afterwards and listening to Gavin ‘hmm’ in contemplation on the other side of the phone.

“You’re not ill. You’re just desperate. Why not call up one of your old fuck buddies?” Gavin suggested, and Geoff cringed at the idea.

“You know I’m not into that anymore. That was just a phase. Gavin, this was… was more than how I felt around those guys. I felt, like, some sort of spark with this guy. It was so weird.” Geoff turned off his bathroom light and stalked to his bedroom, flopping back on the bed as he spoke.

“Just order again. He’s the only delivery guy in Yukon, as far as I know. Which means he’s the only guy who delivers to your shack. You’ve got the app. Just order something you want, he’ll bring it, and just try not to act so pathetic this time.” Gavin suggested, and Geoff… actually found that to be a good idea, despite the insult.

“You know what? You’re right. I think I’ll do that. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, Gavin.” Geoff hung up before Gavin could get another word out and quickly pulled open the Amazon app. He dug through it, looking for anything that he wanted or needed, and after picking out a few items, placed his order.

He plugged his phone in on his nightstand and curled up in bed, already anxious for the next day. He wouldn’t mess this up. Ryan was going to come, and Geoff was going to… get his phone number, at least. He was determined. He didn’t know how much sleep he’d get that night with the fear of what the next day would bring.

---

The knock at his front door the next day startled him yet again. It was later this time around, the sun almost setting over the horizon. Geoff was curled up in his reading nook, some old romance classic in his hands. He didn’t even hear the truck pull up, he was so absorbed. He placed the book down and stood himself up, gripping his fists and shoving his phone in his pocket. This was it.

He walked to the door and pulled it open, finding Ryan there with that same customer service smile. He had the box under his one arm and waved at Geoff.

“Back again. I guess you really like Amazon, huh?” Ryan laughed, and Geoff’s heart skipped a beat at how sweet it was. He gave a small chuckle himself.

“Yeah, it’s convenient, you know?” He got out, holding his hand out for the signature device. Ryan’s smile tweaked up into a bit of a smirk then and he grabbed Geoff’s outstretched hand and pulled him close suddenly, pressing his lips against Geoff’s and sending all kind of sparks through his body.

Geoff was in pure shock for a solid thirty seconds, limp against Ryan’s lips, but then he threw himself back at the other man, pressing into the kiss and grasping at Ryan’s shirt in desperation for more of him.

“Please, I know why you ordered this.” Ryan whispered against his lips, a devious smirk now on his face, “I saw you watching me leave yesterday. I saw the way you looked at me. You’re my last delivery, Geoff. Invite me in.”

Geoff’s breathing was pitched, and he nodded his head and stepped back, pulling Ryan inside with him. He was shaking with desire as Ryan closed the front door behind them and kicked his boots off before reaching and undoing each of the buttons on his shirt, revealing his muscular form below. Geoff practically swooned and took a step closer to Ryan to touch his chest.

“Holy fuck. You’re so hot.” Geoff laughed, feeling like a literal teenager for saying such a thing. Ryan smiled at him and picked his chin up to kiss him again, and Geoff opened his mouth to let Ryan’s tongue in. Ryan shoved him back into the wall and ran his hand under Geoff’s shirt, catching the ends with his thumbs and pulling the shirt up and over his head in one motion. Their kiss broke for a few seconds as the shirt was yanked off, but Ryan barely gave Geoff one breath before attacking his mouth again.

Geoff threw his arms around the back of Ryan’s neck and let the stronger man pick him up, their hips pressing together as Geoff’s legs wrapped around Ryan’s waist and they got closer. Their bare skin pressed together and Geoff groaned at the feeling, twisting his hands into Ryan’s perfect hair and kissing him with as much force as he could.

“Ryan, the bedroom is upstairs.” He finally pulled away from the kiss to say, and Ryan let out a chuckle in response before pushing Geoff harder into the wall behind them.

“I don’t need a bed to fuck you, Geoff. I could fuck you right here, against this wall. Or in that cute little reading area of yours over there. Maybe you’d like it over the kitchen table, so every time you ate there you’d remember me taking you.” Ryan purred, taking his kissing skills and moving his lips slowly down Geoff’s neck.

Pure arousal flowed through Geoff at those words and he felt his pants get much tighter as Ryan worked his way around his neck. He could hardly keep himself from shivering at the thought of what was about to come, of what he and Ryan were about to do.

“The kitchen.” He whispered, and Ryan stopped kissing his skin and looked up at him slowly.

“What was that?” Ryan’s lips turned up in that little smirk and Geoff swallowed hard, staring back into his eyes.

“Take me in the kitchen. On the table.” Geoff repeated, and Ryan opened his mouth to respond but all Geoff heard was the roar of an engine in the place of him speaking.

Confusion rippled through Geoff and he opened his eyes to find himself still there in his reading nook, the romance novel on his chest. The sun was glaring right onto his eyes and he sat up and went to close the blind, only to find himself watching as the delivery truck pulled out of his driveway and away from his house.

A dream.

He let out a roar of anger and looked down at his pants in embarrassment, a very noticeable stain on his crotch. How the hell did he let himself sleep through Ryan coming? He had an erotic sex dream, that’s how he did.

You god damn moron. Fucking idiot. Sex addicted loser.

He made his way to the front door and yanked it open to find his package sat on the porch, the ‘sorry we missed you!’ note resting on top of it. With a groan he reached down and picked the whole thing up, tossing it inside and slamming the door behind him. Just his luck. Now if he ordered something, Ryan was going to think he was some sort of absolute moron who couldn’t order all that he needed in one sitting.

He dumped the box on his kitchen table, grumbling at the memory of his dream, and took the sorry card off, going to toss it in the trash. Just as he went to drop it he noticed a writing on the empty back and flipped it over, a deep blush filtering across his face.

‘Sorry I missed you. You must be out working hard. If you want to talk to me, you can just use my own number, instead of ordering junk. Who needs four packs of socks, a gray t-shirt, and the first three seasons of Friends on DVD? Unless you really did need all of that, and I’m just being an ass. Either way, call me. I think you’re cute. -Ryan’

Ryan’s cellphone number was scribbled under his little note with a tiny smiling face next to it. Geoff stared at the number in awe and then smiled so big, digging for his cellphone to call right away. He paused as he typed the number in though, immediate fear rushing over him.

Should he call right away? Ryan assumed he was out doing work, even though he’d got it done long ago. He’d have to explain the reason he didn’t open the door was because he was six-layers deep into an erotic dream about Ryan. Now that would be something truly mortifying. Plus, if he called now he’d seem desperate. He did not want to come off desperate to such a handsome guy that he stood no chance getting with.

He called me cute, though.

He looked at the final line that Ryan wrote and chewed his lip nervously. The more absurd thoughts started to creep into his mind then. What if Ryan was some serial killer, that preyed on pathetic, lonely farmers in middle of nowhere towns? What if Gavin had just set him up with some guy because he was pathetic and desperate. What if this was all just some prank?

He crumpled up the card a bit in his hands at that thought. This isn’t high school anymore, Geoff. Adults don’t do that. He tried to reassure himself, but the night he got purposefully stood up by his crush in high school still haunted him to this day. He was an idiot for ever thinking that the kid he asked out would ever truly like him, and he paid for it the rest of his high school career. For the rest of his life. Trust was something he’d long since thrown out the window.

Ryan couldn’t be like that though. They were adults. Well adults. With jobs and payments and bills. Stupid petty drama was in high school. He was long free of that. His hands relaxed on the card and he finished typing the number in… and saved it. He’d wait a bit, at least, to not make it weird. Shower, get all these thoughts out of his head. Regain some sort of composure. Ryan was probably still at work anyway.

He let out a small sigh and placed both his phone and the card down on the table before heading up to the shower.

---

“How’d you even miss him in the first place? Was Jeopardy on a bit too loud?” Gavin teased; Geoff had decided to give him a call first, before he threw himself blind into the call with Ryan.

“No, I’d fallen asleep reading.” Geoff sighed, glaring at the romance novel where it sat. Curse the thing for throwing him into this.

“Wow, you’re so fucking old.” Michael said then; Gavin had them on speaker phone, as the two of them were doing dishes at their apartment.

“People fall asleep reading all the time, you prick.” Geoff said, letting out a huff of air. Michael laughed and he even heard Gavin let out a bit of a chuckle.

“If you’re so nervous to call him, just send him a text. People text before dating all the time. Me and Michael met on Tinder, you know?” Gavin said.

“Tinder is a dating up.” Michael clarified, and as much as Geoff hated him for it, he was glad he did. He had no idea what a Tinder was, “Gavin’s right. Texting is a lot easier than some awkward phone conversation. Just shoot him a ‘hey’ text and get to know him.”

“I guess you’re right.” Geoff muttered, rubbing his chin in contemplation. A text would be a lot easier than calling Ryan. He didn’t want to wait much longer, so he said his goodbyes to Michael and Gavin and hung up.

The flashing line of the blank text message stared back at him. What should he say to start this off? Michael said ‘hey,’ but that didn’t feel like enough. He wrote and deleted text after text as he tried to figure out just what to send. Each one felt worse than the last and he felt like he was digging his grave deeper and deeper with every passing minute.

He finally settled and sent,

‘Hey Ryan! It’s Geoff Ramsey, the farmer. I got your note. Sorry I couldn’t get to the door today, I was out back with my chickens. I’d call but it’s a little late, and I’m not sure if you’re at work. Thank you for the compliment, by the way. I think you’re pretty handsome yourself. Maybe we should go on a date sometime?’

He forced himself to click send and then tossed his phone away from him and sat biting on his knuckle. He shouldn’t have said the date part, or the handsome part, and he outright lied about being with his chickens. Would Ryan think that was weirder than being asleep? Not weirder than being asleep in the middle of a fucking sex dream, surely. Of course, he never would have told Ryan that. But he felt bad about lying. Would Ryan know? He was always such a bad liar-

His phone’s notification charm yanked him from his words and he dove for his phone faster than he’d ever moved in his life. Ryan had replied.

‘Hey Geoff. I figured you were doing your farm stuff. So I was right, then? I thought I saw you checking out my ass yesterday. I’d love to go on a date with you. In fact, I don’t work tomorrow. I’ll pick you up at six.’

Geoff couldn’t believe this. Was this how dates work? Ryan saw him check his ass out and now he was going to take him on a date? Tomorrow? He didn’t even have any sort of fancy clothes to wear on a date! He couldn’t remember the last time he went on a real date, one that just wasn’t a disguise to fuck in a bathroom. Michael and Gavin had led him to believe he and Ryan were going to exchange messages for a least awhile, and yet here he was, his fingers moving without his consent, saying yes.

‘I’d love that. I’ll see you tomorrow at six. I look forward to it, and seeing your ass out of that delivery uniform.’

What. The. Fuck. Was. That.

He dropped his phone down and stared at the text he’d just sent to Ryan, a guy he barely knew, about his ass. Sure, in his sex dream that would be normal, but this was real fucking life! What made him send such a risqué fucking thing to this man?

Desperation, obviously, you absolute moron.

He slumped to his knees and laid his head on the ground; already sure Ryan was about to call the date off. When his phone went off a few seconds later he lifted his eyes up slowly, sure of the rejection-

‘You’re funny. I’ll see you tomorrow in my best jeans, Geoff.’

Ryan threw in the winking emoji at the end of his text and Geoff let out a tiny laugh. Okay, alright, so maybe he didn’t make such a huge mistake. Maybe… he and Ryan shared the same sense of humor. That would be quite the breath of fresh air, someone he could actually joke with, without offending or turning them off. He picked his phone up and stared at Ryan’s reply before smiling and slipping his phone in his back pocket. He had a date to prepare for.

---

Geoff watched in almost shock the next day as an old, beat up truck, much like his own, pulled into his driveway. He was peeking out the curtains of the front room, trying not to be seen as Ryan got out of his truck. He watched as Ryan shut the front door of the truck and glanced at himself in the rearview mirror. It was kind of a relief to him that Ryan seemed nervous about this as well.

He pulled away from watching Ryan and checked himself once again in the little mirror nearby. He’d found an old black dress shirt tucked away in his closet, his least dirty pair of jeans, and a nice pair of shoes that Gavin had gotten him for his birthday a few years back that he’d never even taken out of the box up to this point. He looked no where as good as Ryan did in the slick gray button up, tight skinny jeans and well-polished dress shoes, but it was at least a start. He tried to do something with his hair one last time, but Ryan’s knock gave him no chance.

He made his way to the door and took a deep breath in before opening it up. Ryan stood, a flower he clearly snagged from the row along Geoff’s driveway extended and a genuine smile on his face as he said, “Hi there. I’ve got your Amazon order.”

Geoff couldn’t help but laugh at the very stupid joke as he took the flower from Ryan and placed it in his dress pocket. He stepped out and closed the door behind him.

“I’ve been waiting all day for it. You’re at least on time.” Geoff smiled at him and Ryan returned it before offering his hand out.

“You ready for our date? Do you want to follow me, so you can check out the ass? I mean, that’s what you really ordered, right?” Ryan asked, and Geoff felt his cheeks flush with pure embarrassment. Ryan laughed and held out his hands in a gesture of surrender.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. You look so mad.” Ryan continued to laugh and took Geoff’s hand then, “The date is going to make up for it, I promise. Do you like picnics?”  

Geoff was a bit surprised at that. A picnic? He’d never been on one. Sure, he and his parents had eaten on the back dead, or he and his father in the fields, but never had he had a for real, genuine picnic.  He was very intrigued at the idea.

“I’ve never been on one.” He replied, and Ryan gave him a shocked look.

“You’ve never- well, then, Geoff Ramsey, I’m going to give you the best first picnic you’ll ever have.” Ryan said, and took Geoff to his truck. He opened the passenger door to let Geoff in, and then got in himself.

“I’m trusting you with a lot here, Ryan.” Geoff smiled at him from across the seat, and Ryan shot him a big smile. Geoff blushed hard at the work of art sitting next to him and glances out the window as they started to drive. Ryan seemed to know the back roads as well as Geoff did, which was surprising.

“You know this area?” He asked, turning back to Ryan with a tilted head. Ryan gave him a tiny smile.

“Uh, yeah. I was raised not too far from here. I was homeschooled though, that’s probably why you don’t know me. I moved into Yukon after my schooling was done and picked up the delivery job to pay for school. I’d like to work with computers.” Ryan gave a lot of information, but Geoff liked it. It made him seem like much more than just the hot delivery driver Geoff had wild sex dreams about.

“I’ve always been on the farm. I mean, I went to school in Yukon, but that’s because my parents were just farmers too. When they passed I took the farm on myself. It’s just me and my chickens now.” Geoff replied, feeling like he had to tell at least something about himself. There wasn’t much, he wasn’t a very interesting person.

He looked at Ryan again and found him smiling and looking quite interested in what Geoff was saying. Geoff was honestly shocked at the look; he couldn’t remember the last time someone had looked so interested in him. It was such a weird feeling he was sitting on.

Ryan pulled over along the side of the road suddenly- Geoff glanced out the window and smiled as he realized where they were at. Not too far down the road from his house was a big hill that overlooked all of Yukon and where you could see all of the sun as it set. He and his mother used to watch the sun set together when he would have a bad day. The fact that Ryan brought him here, off all places, made Geoff’s heart swell.

“Is this good?” Ryan asked, and Geoff turned to him with a beaming smile on his face.

“It’s perfect. You’re doing well so far, this picnic seems wonderful.” Geoff hopped out of the truck and Ryan quickly followed after grabbing a basket and a blanket out of the back seat of his truck. Geoff made his way to the top of the hill before Ryan and stood looking over the view of the tiny town and the setting sun.

Ryan got to the top and laid the blanket out for them and started to unpack his basket.

“Just so you know, I’m no master chef. I’ve done what I’ve can to make a gourmet meal for you though.” Ryan said, and Geoff turned to him and sat down on the blanket, taking the bottle of champagne Ryan had taken out and opening it up. He felt so much more comfortable after their small conversation and the wonderful view.

Ryan laughed as he popped the champagne and handed him a plate of food to pick at. They shared a comfortable silence together as they watched the sunset. Geoff moved and rested his head on Ryan’s shoulder after a while, something about him still craving touch from Ryan.

Ryan shifted then and picked Geoff’s chip up, looking down at him with almost adoring eyes. “The moment I saw you, I knew that I had to have you. You were so stupid beautiful. You were so awkward, but it was in the cutest way possible. Something about you made me… feel so new. I hoped you would order again, and when I didn’t see you that next day my heart broke. I had to leave that note, I had to give myself a chance at snagging a date with you.”

Ryan’s words were so genuine and sweet, Geoff didn’t know what to think. He was such a boring, simple person, and yet Ryan saw him as something so much more than he was. He almost felt like he was cheating Ryan.

Before he could speak, Ryan kissed him. He pressed their lips together in a way that reminded Geoff of his dream, yet so much better. It was the best rush of feeling Geoff had had in the longest time. They pulled apart after a second and Geoff finally spoke.

“Is this a dream?” He asked, and Ryan let out a small chuckle and pulled Geoff into his arms.

“Not a dream. I want to go on a million dates with you, Geoff. And meet your oh so important chickens. And know everything about you and your life.” Ryan rested his head in Geoff’s hair and took in a breath of him. Geoff let out the most content noise and let himself relax against Ryan.

---

“Did Geoff tell you about the time he jacked off to you? The first time you two met?”

They were on a double date. One that Geoff really didn’t want to be on, because it included Michael. He and Ryan had been together for a month; Ryan still made all of Geoff’s deliveries, and they got together as often as possible. It was everything Geoff had dreamed of; his simple life just a little more exciting.

Ryan choked on his drink. He let out a short laugh and looked at Geoff with wide eyes, expecting some explanation or rebuttal to the statement.

“He’s not lying. You are attractive babe, you know how a fawn over you. I wanted you from day one. Maybe different from the way you wanted me, but I wanted you.”  Geoff shrugged, and Ryan’s laugh was a little happier the second time around.

Ryan reached his hand over and threaded it into Geoff’s then, smiling at him with loving eyes. Geoff was truly happy for the first time in a very long time. He was a simple man. He had his chickens, his plants, his trees, his old house, Ryan, Gavin, and even Michael. That was all that he needed.

[empress-imperia]

Uncharacteristically, Chief Bogo had forgotten to tell Irons that Mayor Terrence Hornbull, Dawn Bellwether's successor, had already granted Precinct One the right to the Jerry Mousekewitz Case in light on his death. In any case he hadn't slammed the receiver into its cradle because of Iron's predictable attitude. He'd slammed the receiver because he was currently undergoing horrific torture.

He hadn't been abducted by gangsters. He hadn't even been pranked by the infamous Wilde. No, it was something much, much worse. It had him feeling sick in the stomach. It had him frozen to his desk chair in complete agony. It had him on the very brink of insanity twenty-four/seven.

As he sat at his desk, fists clenched and itching to trash the phone completely, there was a knock on the door. He saw a very welcome round dark shape through the fogged glass. "Come. In." He said through clenched teeth.

In walked Benjamin Clawhauser, a receptionist and dispatcher averting nearly every cheetah stereotype in the book, smiling sympathetically as he held up a paper grocery bag. "I got some more pure water, sir. I also got some cranberry juice and some aspirin. I'd ask how you're feeling, but well, you know..."

"Officer Clawhauser, you do not want me to answer that." Bogo replied stiffly. "But if you must know, it feels like a psychopathic grandmother is stabbing at me over and over with sharpened knitting needles heated to near melting point."

Clawhauser raised his eyebrows, his mouth as small as a ring hole. "That's... disturbingly specific. My aunt just said she had an alien inside of her. Anyway..." Putting a smile back on, he placed the bag on the desk and pulled out the contents. "How's your peeing going? Still clear or light yellow?"

Bogo groaned and clasped his hooves over his head. "For god's sake, officer!"

Clawhauser took a step back, having already realised he'd said something he shouldn't. "Sorry, sir! Just worried about your health!"

Bogo sighed and carefully put a hoof to his side. "I know."

It had been one week since his torment started, and five days since the doctor had confirmed that the source was indeed the bane of a middle aged mammal's existence. The best and worst way to deal with his ailment was to wait it out and drink enough fluids to prevent dehydration. It was best because in most cases medical treatment was expensive and needless. It was worst because it meant enduring the little cluster of nails and razors within his body for god knows how long. However he wouldn't be Chief Bogo if he couldn't grit his teeth and bear it with a mask of his typical apathy, which was the reason no-one found out about his suffering until the fifth day.

It was Bogo's fault, really. If he hadn't summoned Clawhauser to his office to discuss the training of the new night shift receptionist, the cheetah wouldn't have been present when a sudden stab of horrific pain had caused Bogo's mask to slip for a split second. As it turned out, Clawhauser's older relatives had a long and sordid history with this particular medical condition from hell. As a result, he not only knew the signs, but a variety of natural remedies which he immediately listed out to the exasperated Chief before he practically ordered his subordinate back to his desk.

Bogo supposed he should be thankful that out of all his officers, it had been Clawhauser who found out. This was the same officer who had discovered Bogo's guilty pleasure in Gazelle and kept quiet about it ever since. He couldn't say the same for anyone else, especially the insufferable Wilde. That cheeky fox would have a field day.

"I'm fine, really. I'm drinking more fluid than I can take and working has been helping to take my mind off it." This half-truth would hopefully keep Clawhauser from being too worried to concentrate on his work. "You should get back to your desk."

"Yes, sir. Are you sure you're up for the Bullpen?" He must have noticed that Bogo looked especially pained this morning.

"It has to be done. That criminal who died this morning was wanted by Precinct Two and an investigation is being launched."

"I get it. Priority number one." Clawhauser said, having delivered Bogo the news himself not long ago. It wasn't often that Bogo addressed the Bullpen twice in one day, but Jerry Mouskewitz's case was a special one. "Any priority number ones for me, sir?"

As it turned out, Bogo did. "The mayor is paying a visit later this morning, and it's his first time here since his election. Until he leaves you are to stay as far away from your phone and all Gazelle related media as possible. Is that clear?"

"Crystal." Clawhauser nodded. As the first face a mammal would see upon walking into the ZPD, he knew full well that first impressions were everything.

"Good. Dismissed."

Clawhauser walked out, leaving Bogo with his pain, his suffering, and the batch of natural and synthesised remedies the eager young worker bee had left for him.

Bogo reached for the pure water and filled his glass. He consumed the cool liquid in one go. Maybe it was just the constant pain of a jagged, crystalline kidney stone no bigger than a piece of gravel from the driveway making him soft, but he was seriously considering giving Clawhauser a raise.

Ten minutes later, he heard the receptionist's cheery voice coming from the intercom on the phone. "Sir, Hopps and Wilde just called in. The ambulance has just reached the crash site."

"Good." The chief replied curtly with the press of a button.

"In related news, Officer McHorn has just got back from that false alarm in the Rainforest District. He's waiting for you in the Bullpen with the other available officers."

"Right. I'll be there in a few." Bogo was already reaching for the two red files on his desk.

Clawhauser made a noise of doubt on the other end. "Sir, Hopps and Wilde aren't back yet. I don't think they'll be happy if you leave them out of this one."

Bogo tucked the files under his arm and downed some cranberry juice. "Clawhauser, they joined this case the moment they pulled over Mousekewitz. I'll give them their own assignment when they return."

"Okay, sir. Oh, and keep your chin up. That stone's gotta come out at some point. You'll se- hello again, McHorn!" Bogo heard McHorn's dull tones but couldn't hear what he was saying. "Sorry, sir, McHorn's just wondering why you haven't shown up yet."

Bogo snorted. "Tell him I'm on my way."

Clawhauser did just that. This time when McHorn spoke, Bogo could understand him. "Right. Thanks."

"See you later, McHorn!" Clawhauser had raised his voice a little. The grumpy rhino must have already started walking back to the Bullpen. "Tell your wife I said... er, McHorn? McHorn you've got something on your... omigosh! McHorn, wait! Wait, come back! Chief Bogo, we've got an intruder on the ground floor!"

By then, Bogo had already vacated his office.

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It had been two years since Delgato and Grizzoli had last been assigned to a stakeout, and they'd both forgotten how dull it was: hours upon hours of waiting in their unmarked car, waiting for Meeko the Cracker Thief to show his ugly masked face. Thank god for the public toilet across the street, a fair distance from the bar where the raccoon was supposedly boozing.

Thankful for the Snarlbucks latte Grizzoli had procured to fend off the Tundratown cold, Delgato took a small sip from the steaming beverage. He sighed, ready for another sip, when he saw some unusually busy activity even farther down the street. Four vehicles were pulling into the empty cark park.

Grizzoli saw the vehicles and frowned. "Wait a sec, aren't those the cars that were at the crash site earlier?"

They both eyed the cars, Delgato glancing at the bar every now and then for signs of Meeko, keeping a small photo of the thief in his paw for reference. Through the chain link fence that marked the cark park boundaries, they saw the eight occupants climb out and gather in the middle of the frozen tarmac. The two cops watched for a little longer. The eight commuters remained in their huddle, engaged in a conversation they couldn't hear. Delgato grabbed his radio. "You keep watching for Meeko and I'll call this in. The chief will want to know about this."

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Clawhauser initially thought to call Forensics to borrow a jar, but there was no telling how long that would take. He had to deal with the situation before McHorn's stowaway was discovered and panic ensued. The big rhino wasn't the only one on the force who was scared of spiders.

A second solution sprung up. He quickly stuffed the last few donuts into his mouth and turned the box upside down to empty any lingering crumbs into the trash can inside the ring shaped desk. Box in hand, he planted a BACK IN FIVE MINUTES sign on the desk next to his snow globe and rushed towards the Bullpen.

As he neared the Bullpen he heard the sound of men engaging in indistinct chatter. Chief Bogo hadn't arrived yet, and McHorn was still unaware of what was crawling on his back. Clawhauser stopped running just before he reached the doors. His plan was simple. Go inside, walk up to McHorn, get the giant spider off his back before he noticed, put it in the box and get out. Okay, it sounded simple.

Well, here goes nothing, Clawhauser thought as he went inside.

Due to the unique nature of this meeting, only a quarter of the seats were filled. Yet the room was still as lively as it always was with a full house. Clawhauser looked over the handful of bears, lions, hippos and one tiger and spotted the head of McHorn in his usual spot up front, his eyes on the podium as he waited for Bogo to show up with the assignments. Clawhauser swallowed and started his slow approach through the gap that ran through the middle of the chairs and tables.

"Zugk zugk, what brings you here, Bejaminy! You got more news for the Chiefy?" came a raspy squeak from halfway up the gap.

Clawhauser stopped, looked down and saw Officers Jaq and Gus on a table sipping cups of coffee that would have fitted a dollhouse. He knew that Bogo wanted their case file on Jerry Mousekewitz, but he hadn't expected them to come all the way here from Precinct Five in Little Rodentia. "Oh, um..." Clawhauser nervously drummed his fingers on the empty box like it was a bongo drum. "Just need a quick word with McHorn."

He continued up the rows of tables, reaching McHorn just as a thought came to him. It was very odd that no-one in the moderately sized room had seen the plate-sized arachnid on McHorn's back. One good look at the rhino told him why.

Son of a gun, it's gone!

McHorn's ear twitched and he looked to see a stunned Clawhauser standing right behind him. "What're you doing here?"

Clawhauser gulped loudly. "Looking for creepy crawlies." With that he dropped down on all fours and started searching under the tables.

McHorn rolled his eyes and turned back to face the front.

With Officer Higgins investigating a break in elsewhere in Savannah Central, there was no-one to announce the arrival of the chief before the side door opened. Underneath an empty table at the back left corner of the room, Clawhauser stifled a groan. The cops started their usual ruckus as Bogo, his posture stiffer than usual, reached the podium.

"Alright, quit it!" He snapped. On command the cops stopped and sat back down. "I've got one item on the docket and no mood for drivel, so I'll cut right to the point. This morning, known criminal Jerry Mouskewitz was killed in a car crash on the outskirts of Sahara Square. For those of you who don't know..."

Clawhauser continued crawling along the underside of the row of tables, no longer listening. He'd already heard of the infamous Triple-Casino-Heist Case. Five years ago, Jerry Mousekewitz had performed the biggest heist in the history of Zootopia: in one night he robbed three Tundratown Casinos blind. Four hundred million dollars had disappeared without a trace, as well as the rodent who had stolen them. Initially the case had been given to Precinct One, but as the years passed and other important cases came up, it had ultimately been left in the hands of Precinct 2, something that had deeply dented Iron's pride until he saw the case as an opportunity. For years they searched for Jerry with no success, to the point that the case almost went cold. Then two weeks ago, Jerry was spotted in Little Rodentia, planning to escape the city under the alias of Dr. Padraic Ratigan. If Clawhauser could hazard a guess, the mouse had been enacting his escape plan when Hopps and Wilde tried to pull him over, triggering the high-speed chase and its fatal conclusion.

Clawhauser was getting anxious. He was crawling down the next row, but there was still no sign of the spider. He looked at the large legs of the cops, all of which were capable of squishing the spider with one step. He cringed at the thought of the little guy getting hurt and kept searching, until-

"Clawhauser!"

Thump! The table shook as Clawhauser bumped his head. Bogo had spotted Clawhauser right after putting on his glasses to hand out the assignments. "What are you doing down there? Why aren't you at your desk?"

Rubbing his head, a blushing Clawhauser crawled out and stood up. All he could do was tell the truth and hope that he wouldn't be too harshly punished. "Sir, we have a minor situation. Please don't flip out, but-"

The side door opened again and in walked Mayor Hornbull, burly rhino and Mayor of Zootopia. Sporting a stubby horn and a thousand dollar grey suit, Hornbull strode across the room and stopped at the podium beside Bogo.

Clawhauser felt himself go pale. The mayor was a decent enough sort, but his arachnophobia was greater than anyone else's in this room.

Frozen to the spot, his arms nearly crushing the empty donut box, Clawhauser watched as Hornbull put a hand on Bogo's shoulder and exchanged quiet whispers with the buffalo, who looked less than pleased at the unexpected interruption. After a few seconds Bogo grunted and tilted his head down slightly.

Clawhauser's heart skipped a beat. There it was, perched on Bogo's horns.

He was the first to notice, but he was not the last. Some of the cops exchanged perplexed looks and peered at the creature, unsure if it was really a large insect or some abnormal hat. McHorn turned white and shrank back in his seat.

Clawhauser nervously lifted a paw. "Sir."

"Not now." Bogo said with a glance, oblivious to his living horn decoration. The tarantula twitched, startled by the sudden movement.

Clawhauser was terrified, but not of Bogo. A fall from his height would likely kill the spider. "Sir, you've-"

"Not. Now." Bogo cut him off through gritted teeth. With the rhino's hand still on his shoulder, he and Hornbull spoke a little more before he turned back to his men, who were still staring at the creature on his head. "Ladies and gentlemammals, I would like to introduce you to the Mayor of Zootopia, Terrence Hornbull. Some of you may also know him as the founder and owner of the three casinos that the late Mousekewitz robbed five years ago. As you can see he is very anxious for the case to be resolved and the money to be returned safe and sound. I have given him every assurance that despite Mouskewitz's unexpected death, we will..."

As Bogo continued speaking, Clawhauser pulled out his phone and sent a text. He heard a faint buzz come from Bogo's pants. The spider quickly crawled further back behind Bogo's horns until only its abdomen could be seen. Bogo pulled out the phone and saw the text.

[Giant spider on head!]

Bogo blinked and reached up, but the spider had crawled out of sight. He ran his hoof along his horns and rubbed his neck. He glared at Clawhauser. "Is this supposed to be a joke?" He asked dangerously.

Clawhauser sent another text. Bogo looked at the message on his phone, and this time, so did the mayor.

[NO JOKE. SPIDER JUST CRAWLED ON MAYOR'S ARM.]

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Fangmeyer entered the Precinct to be greeted by an empty reception desk and the sound of a woman screaming.

Her fur stood on end as she realised it was coming from the Bullpen, and she pulled out her tranquiliser gun. Sprinting past the befuddled officers that littered the main hall, she almost burst through the Bullpen door when the door opened a crack and the sight of Officers Jaq and Gus stopped her in her tracks.

Fangmeyer looked sharply up at the nearly shut door and the screams that came from it, then back down at the two mice. "What the hell is going on in there?"

"A tarantuly has infiltrated the ZPD." Jaq said, as Gus desperately tried not to laugh.

"A tarantula?!" Fangmeyer would have started laughing herself, but then she heard other raised voices trying to calm the source of the high-pitched screaming. "D'you guys think Bogo can get the lady in there to calm down, or will he need backup?"

"That's the mayor."

"Really?"

"Really."

Fangmeyer was about to ask if she should get involved when a rookie rushed up and reported that Delgato and Grizzoli had spotted a situation in Tundratown.