#and compartmentalization is how I get by. Is it the dissociative disorder? Probably tbh
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If I ever get a perception of my mom that’s stable and not conflicting with another very different perception of her, that’ll be the day
#Like. She’s a good woman. She’s definitely a good woman. She’s also got a problem with sharing her personal fears which may or may not#actually line up with the facts of things (she’s not delusional this is just regular but serious misunderstandings)#and those map onto *me* and make it hard for *me* to tell the severity and seriousness of things#She’s willing to do a lot to try to be a good mom but sometimes that’s been to an unhealthy extent and I still end up triggered by that#but in the end of the day I end up reconciling with her (not in an unhealthy way just in a very complicated way)#Yet I still get impacted by her issues affecting me and my issues (partially caused by her) affecting her (which then affects me again)#something something cycle of anxiety idfk#It’s a fucking mess#and compartmentalization is how I get by. Is it the dissociative disorder? Probably tbh#so if I ever get a stable concept of her…. That’ll be the day. That’s what I mean#esrah talks#mother mention#family chronicles
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