#esrah talks

[resignedseraph]

Hyper-independence is absolutely a trauma response of mine historically, but I didn’t realize exactly how ingrained it used to be in my life until I remembered a weird rule from the cult-school I grew up in: when switching classes, if you forgot something, you could not go back and get it. No exceptions. Ever.

Which is a bizarre rule to have! Practically it makes no sense, and the logical conclusions you’d come to would only harm the students. But that’s kind of the point, you know?

This was called “taking responsibility for your own actions” and “encouraging self reliance” and “teaching high respect for authority figures,” but it ended up meaning that if you happened to forget a pencil and you had an exam, you would then fail the exam with no opportunity for a retake simply because of that missing pencil. Pretty much your only hope was that someone next to you would hand you a pencil without anyone noticing or pointing this out, which itself was also against the rules because it mean you were “enabling someone to avoid taking responsibility for their actions”

Not to even mention the social punishment of this example here; everyone in the class would know, and you would just have to sit there and take the shame and embarrassment for the entire class period, and possibly after via snickering and sidelong sneers

Over a pencil.

Personally this only taught me these lessons: that there are never second chances, that unfairness is guaranteed if I slip up, that it is my fault no matter what happens, and that I need to be hyper vigilant and hyper independent if I want to get by

Thankfully these are not lessons that the real world operates on. There are almost always second chances, that unfairness is possible but not guaranteed, that sometimes it’s not anyone’s fault, and that there will be people to support me to help me get by

I’m really glad that I got out so I could learn these lessons and become the me that I am today

[esrah-rah-rasputin]

[ID: “Help others and get a custom icon!” written in red and green text, with the Palestinian flag in each corner. /End ID]

@najahmeq2 needs funds for winter clothes for her children, please help her get what she needs (donate here)! As a bonus, for whatever amount is donated, I’ll put it towards a FREE art commission! The more money, the more detail and time I can spend on the art. Please help this mother care for her children, and free Palestine 🇵🇸

Here’s the kind of art you can expect from a 5-10$ donation, and a 40-60$ donation:

[ID: The first is cartoony icon art of a Black pigtailed girl wearing pink, winking and sticking her tongue out, and holding up the peace sign. The second is semi realistic, two toned illustration art of a couple in their forties kissing. The background is in pink and the people are colored in purple-blue. They are a Hispanic woman with curly hair, and a Japanese man with short hair and a shy expression. /End ID]

[urjover]

When I said I followed your previous blog, I meant the one that was deactivated—things-in-the-walls.

Xoxo,

Tattoo Jet Anon

WHAT

[wolfcat-hybrid]

I posted 25,619 times in 2022

107 posts created (0%)

25,512 posts reblogged (100%)

[adding a read more. to be polite]

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@transcarcinization

@tofu-pofu

@magicalgirlmindcrank

@self-righteous-god

@juliuscaesarofficial

I tagged 5,196 of my posts in 2022

#wolfy reblogs - 4,055 posts

#a q 2 u - 3,344 posts

#a queue 2 you - 400 posts

#transcarcinization - 174 posts

#wolfy speaks - 135 posts

#tofu-pofu - 119 posts

#dimension 20 - 91 posts

#disco elysium - 86 posts

#goncharov - 83 posts

#esrah-rah-rasputin - 83 posts

Longest Tag: 128 characters

#me thinkin abt hivemind characters 💝💝💝💝💝💖💖💖💘💘💘💘💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥💌💌💌

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

The reason I'm starting T

[Image id: The "maybe the real money was the friends we made along the way" "no, I want my fucking gold." meme from Buzzfeed Unsolved's episode The Treacherous Treasure Hunt of Forrest Fenn edited to say "maybe the real transition was the changes we made along the way" "no, I want my fucking beard". End image id]

178 notes - Posted February 11, 2022

#4

[Image ID: A digital drawing of a camera under a red circle with a diagonal line through the middle. Above the image it says "please ask" under the image it says "before filming". All together it says "please ask before filming". End Image ID]

Work someplace where people film you without asking? Afraid of being posted online without your consent? I do! And I am!

I'm designing some decals and uploading them to redbubble, they're sized for buttons but work for stickers too. Feel free to download them, post them to Twitter, edit them, whatever.

Right now I only have this design, but I'm planning on making more. I'm open to suggestions!

179 notes - Posted July 23, 2022

#3

As fun as the whole "the captain is acting weird and we're just not going to talk about it" is, I really hope in the future we get to see the brain slug addressed and like, fully welcomed by the crew as a unique being. I feel like "I have this person's memories and body but I'm not them" would go well with Sidney and Barry's themes of humanity-but-not-quite

219 notes - Posted January 28, 2022

#2

Was anyone going to tell me "von Raum" literally means "from space" or was I supposed to just find that out while doing german homework myself

397 notes - Posted October 2, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Endless void, and beyond counting, twinkling stars...

You've never seen something this vast before.

[Photo ID: Digital fan art of Norman "Skipper" Takamori from Dimension 20's A Starstruck Odyssey. He's looking through a window into the vastness of space. Through his reflection you can see the stars. He has one hand pressed against the glass, the only part of the image you can't see space through, showing our point of view is from Skip himself. His eyes are green, extremely bloodshot, and in the middle of his eye a star- brighter than the rest- is visible. His mouth is slightly agape in wonder. End Photo ID.]

[Video ID: A silent time lapse of me drawing the above image. End video ID.]

See the full post

651 notes - Posted January 20, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[hotdrinks]

8. What do you like most about your own work?

9. What are you currently trying to improve?

and I hope you’re having a good day :)

I am having a good day, thank you! I hope you are too!

8. I like that my drawings are colorful and self indulgent and feature a lot of fat people just vibing

9. I'm trying to get better at lineart, anatomy, backgrounds, digital painting, and having a more consistent style. And also!! Being more loose! I always intend for my drawings to be more scribbly and simplistic but I get too obsessive about details to let them stay that way

[asexualhiccup2]

Before this year ends(for me, obviously it's already over for some people), I want to thank all of you for making this year pretty okay.

I hope that every single one of you has a wonderful 2022.

And a super big thank you to my mutuals for putting up with me. How you do it I'll never know, but I love ya'll for it; @quackadoodles915, @bucky-barnes-and-steve-noble, @that-one-darkness-potato. And my mutuals who I don't really talk to (much), I love ya'll too; @salad-of-potatoes, @esrah-rah-rasputin, and a few more whose urls I can't remember off the top of my head.

[moonlit-enby]

Bright✨bubbles✨buttercup✨buterfly✨buttons

bright; mermaids or fairies?

Tris - That is such a weird question hdhdh those are so different? Umm, I dunno, mermaids I guess? I guess it depends on what type of mermaid and what type of fairy cuz they vary drastically based on which myth and culture you’re talking about

Ares - Mermaids because ocean.

bubbles; do you have a best friend?

Tris - Yeah!! I do hehe I have a best friend and then a couple other very close friends

Ares - Yes, Tony; and if we don’t count boyfriends then still yes, I have two (Toby & Esrah)

buttercup; showers or baths?

Tris - Showers, I actually cannot stand baths but I love the aesthetic of bath bombs and milk baths and stuff hdhdh

Ares - Both are dumb but showers i guess. Baths seem like extra work

butterfly; dream destination?

Tris - Anywhere but Texas honestly hehe. Going back to France would be nice so I can actually see what it’s like. Also I wanna visit Canada lately too

Ares - Not a specific place, but places with a lot of animals to study/photograph and also pretty nature

buttons; are you religious or spiritual?

Neither of us are religious at all hdhdh and I don’t think we’re spiritual either, even though I (Tris) do practice witchcraft i have a very atheistic approach to it still

[the-cabin-complex]

We were sorting through our bathroom products today and found a bunch of body mists and other stuff that was mostly gifted to us, none of which we’ve consistently used, because forming daily habits is really difficult if it’s not strictly necessary (and even when it is it often gets delayed by a lot). But then… We remembered we have some people here who love fashion and primping and getting ready for going out

And now I’m just imagining yelling “WE NEED A DIVA UP FRONT STAT” into the inner world in the morning, and hearing a bunch of annoyed moaning from the general direction of Crowley’s quarters

—Esrah

[resignedseraph]

Oh so we all had that guest speaker that would nearly burst into tears during the sermon and make everyone feel really awkward about it huh

[esrah-rah-rasputin]

🇵🇸 Icon Commissions for Donations 🇵🇸

If you follow me you know I've gotten a lot of asks from Palestinian refugees, and you also know that I don't have the funds to donate right now. So instead, here's how to get a free commission from me in exchange for a donation. Here's how:

Pick a campaign to donate to (I personally suggest this list of everyone who's contacted me so far), and donate however much you want

Send me a screenshot confirming the donation, and the link of the campaign you donated to

Tell me what kind of art you want, exactly like a commission

I will then draw your art when I'm able, post it, and tag you (if you want). I'm not going to make this post any longer with a list of things I will/won't draw, but request what you want and I'll tell you if I can manage it!

This is the quality/style you can expect for a $5-10 USD donation:

[ID: full color, close-up icons of different people in a semi-cartoony, consistent style. /End ID]

And this is the quality/style you can expect for something closer to a $20-50 USD donation:

[ID: three full color, rendered drawings in semi realistic style. The first is of an angel Crowley from Good Omens in a colorful cloudy setting, the second is a bust of a neon multi-eyed demon sticking their tongue out, and the third is two people drawn in profile and in blue, kissing each other. /End ID]

[the-cabin-complex]

What having different people who speak different types of English in one system does to conversations:

Person A: As for myself, my day has been filled with mediocrity and a dullness of point that would rival that of a polished globe. But how, thus far, has the day met you? I would assume that, having secured the position of master of our body’s locomotion, you have had myriad options for activity?

Person B: Well as they say, school sucks but soup fucks :D

[resignedseraph]

yk, being socially betrayed by the people I grew up around by losing contact with them entirely once covid started, was if anything kinda vindicating for me, because I'd been tuning out suspicions that they didn't care about me as much as they said for years at that point

[esrah-rah-rasputin]

[ID: “Help others and get a custom icon!” written in red and green text, with the Palestinian flag in each corner. /End ID]

@hananmahmoud1 needs help taking care of her children, and you can get free art for helping her out! Just donate any amount, send me a screenshot of proof of donation, and I’ll draw you a custom icon or illustration of your choice! For more info see this post

Here’s the kind of art you can expect from a 5-10$ donation, and a 40-60$ donation:

[ID: The first is cartoony icon art of a Black pigtailed girl wearing pink, winking and sticking her tongue out, and holding up the peace sign. The second is semi realistic, two toned illustration art of a couple in their forties kissing. The background is in pink and the people are colored in purple-blue. They are a Hispanic woman with curly hair, and a Japanese man with short hair and a shy expression. /End ID]