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aestherians · 3 years ago

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Choice or Chance?: Exploring voluntarity and categorization in the otherkin and therian communities

Under the cut is the full script for my Othercon 2021 lecture, in which I examine the way we categorize nonhumans based on the perceived amount of choice they had in their identity and how this practice is detrimental to both questioning people and our community as a whole. At the end, I propose a new way to define otherkind and otherlinkers to hopefully move our community forward.

Reading time: 30-40 minutes.

The focus of this lecture has changed a bit since I started working on it. My earliest idea was to discuss the grey area between otherlinks and kintypes - in fact one of my working titles was Grey Zones and Silver Linings. And I still plan on talking about this, though not in the way you might expect. I originally wanted to argue that those who found themselves in this grey area should be able to choose how they wanted to refer to their identity, but the more research and thinking I did, the more I realized that this would still leave a bunch of people torn and confused and wouldn’t solve any of the greater problems in our community. It also seems like such a water-is-wet statement with how the conversation has developed… and you know me, I’m only happy when I’m starting controversies.

So I went looking for the root of this whole categorization debacle.

The nonhuman community, as we know it, didn’t always exist, and though we often say it has roots in elven communities from the ‘70s, that’s only half the truth. While the Elf Queen’s Daughters and related successors such as the Silver Elves are the earliest known organized nonhuman communities, they’re by far not the only pioneers.

Because nonhuman identifying people have always existed, and our numbers have always been relatively small, some of us ended up grouping together without even being aware of the other groups that existed. And of course, all these independently formed groups ended up with their own cultures and traditions and philosophies.

Mailing lists, like the Elfinkind Digest, were generally open for anyone to join and read. But they also weren’t widely known or easy to stumble upon for folks who didn’t already have an interest in these kinds of spirituality and identification. This resulted in a culture where people’s self-identification was generally respected, and they would only be questioned if they made extraordinary claims.

Compare this with the newsgroup Alt.Horror.Werewolves, which was open for anyone to access on Usenet, and which was originally created as just a place to discuss werewolf media. On AHWw, the therians (or ‘weres’ as it was back then) would frequently have to defend their existence against strangers who just found them by coincidence. This would lead to a culture more focused on appearing respectable, which in turn would lead to grilling of new members and shut-downs of “fluffy” topics.

Other independent groups, such as Alt.Fan.Dragons, which was centered around dragons, or Always Believe, which was centered around unicorns, had their own cultures as well. For example, AFD generally accepted dragons from modern fiction, which would not have been tolerated on AHWw.

The Silver Elves is another semi-independently evolved group of elves, fae and similar beings that still exists to this day. They only represent a fraction of our community, but for today’s discussions I find their writings very illustrative. They’ve written about choice of identity on multiple levels. For starters, they believe a lot of elven spirits have actively chosen to incarnate into human bodies. More provocatively, and more interesting to me, they’ve stated multiple times that simply wanting to be an elf means you are an elf.

This is in contrast to the therian community on AHWw, where there was a big focus on involuntary shifts and theorizing on why some people were born with and animal side. I think it’s reasonable to assume this focus on involuntary experiences is due to the werewolf narrative that the community stemmed from. In werewolf media, a person’s wolfish side is rarely, if ever, a choice, while in new age and spiritual communities, like that of the Silver Elves, there’s a greater emphasis on choice of spirituality and subsequently on choice of identity.

It wouldn’t be right to say that every therian back then shared the same idea; however, the idea that involuntary shifts are a core trait of therianthropy does seem to persist in the AHWw’s userbase. Nearly all introduction posts include a line about involuntary shifts. Another idea that repeats itself is that the therian either had a “sudden awakening” or “just always knew” they were animalistic; contrasted with the Silver Elves’ idea that simply wanting to be an elf is enough for you to be one.

There are two main ideas about origins that seem to persist in all of this: That one is either born nonhuman or becomes nonhuman. Both are equally true. The ‘born-this-way’-narrative is quite a bit more common than the ‘becoming’-narrative, though that’s not to say that the idea of becoming nonhuman is rare, or even all that controversial in most communities - with a few caveats, that is.

The idea that one can become nonhuman tends to rest on the idea that what we become is outside our control. On the more metaphysical side of things there are stories of people being spiritually transformed into an animal after encounters with an animal spirit, or of having a shard of a god put into them. And on the more mundane side, there are stories of imprinting on a species during early development, or of taking on the experiences of a character after being engrossed in a piece of media. Most people I’ve talked to don’t have a problem with these ideas of ‘becoming’ as something outside your control.

What really gets people’s goat is when someone describes specific choices they’ve made on their journey, which ultimately led to their nonhuman identity.

This finally leads to the theme of this lecture: The topic of choice itself and how we categorize others based on the perceived amount of choice or chance there’s been in the development of their identity.

Questions I’ll discuss include: What kind of choices do we have regarding our identities? What the heck does ‘choice’ even mean in this context? And how does the idea of choice (or lack of choice) affect the way our community functions?

There are many kinds of choices that we inarguably do make on our journey of self-discovery. Probably the first universal choice is to undertake the journey and to seek out a nonhuman community. Choices that naturally follow include choice of labeling - whether we want to call ourselves otherkin, therian, fictionkin, nonhuman, and so on - and the choice to accept or reject whatever feelings caused us to seek out a nonhuman community in the first place. In this line of thinking, being otherkin is a choice - you choose to label yourself as otherkin. However, the feelings, on which you base your decision to label yourself, are not a choice. The feelings that pushed you towards the community were already there.

Another choice that follows pretty naturally in this line of thinking is the choice to strengthen whatever connections you already have. This is something I’m intimately familiar with, as I’ve been doing it since I awakened as a bison. Before I even became aware of my species identity, I knew I was nonhuman. I’d been having simultaneous bison and gnoll feelings for a few years, but couldn’t separate them, and had, without much introspection, decided that I must be some weird kind of wolf. I think a lot of us with uncommon theriotypes have gone through a phase like that.

However, one day I experienced a very strong flashing image - basically a flashback - of being physically a bison. The vision was so vivid and tactile, I immediately knew what it meant, and for the next few weeks I ignored every experience that wasn’t quite bison in nature, and just examined the recognizably bovine feelings. This helped strengthen my bison identity, and in total my questioning process only took around 2 months.

Though I’ve settled in my identity as a bison, and I’m comfortable referring to myself as a bison, I never quit reinforcing it. While I didn’t create the original bison-like feelings, I’m very conscious of the fact that I do choose to connect every trait to my bisonhood that I can. Whether I see the traits as a cause of my current bisonhood, or a result of it, things like being stubborn, preferring physical fights over verbal ones, and even liking the taste of those Beanboozled jellybeans that are supposed to taste like grass… all these traits, that any human could have, are things I connect to my identity as a bison.

I’ve experienced some pushback towards this idea from a few therian communities. A very common rebuttal I’ve run into in introduction threads and grilling threads (which, introduction threads should never be grilling threads in my opinion, but that’s another story)… a very common rebuttal to considering these kinds of traits part of your nonhuman identity is: “Isn’t that just a regular human thing?”

I have so many problems with that question, I’m honestly not sure where to even begin. Yes, those traits are experienced by humans all the time. I think some of the only experiences in the community that regular humans don’t experience are, perhaps, species dysphoria and shifting. But if your identity began and ended with having dysphoria and experiencing shifts, it would hardly qualify as an identity. Treating an identity like just the sum of its parts, rather than a whole and complicated construct, is reductive and it doesn’t just hinder discussion, it stifles discussions.

I don’t know, maybe I’m the odd one here, but my whole nonhuman identity can not be encompassed by my horn dysphoria or the fact that I sometimes feel more like a prey animal than an apex predator. My identity is so much more than that. It’s how I view the world and how I view myself in relation to the world. It’s how I react to things, what I like and dislike, and what I want out of my life. When you envision an identity in this way, as a way to describe who you are, rather than a summary of every individual thing you experience, you absolutely will see some overlap with humans, like it or not.

Another reason I dislike the question “Aren’t those just human traits?” is that it’s often asked in communities where the consensus is that you were born nonhuman, and that your identity is somehow more real or ‘valid’ if it can be corroborated by childhood memories.

While looking back at your childhood and seeing how your current identity might have formed or changed throughout the years can help paint a picture of the identity as a whole, that kind of reminiscence should always be secondary to what you are currently experiencing. Your identity is not based on the fact that you played dog when you were a toddler. Pretty much every human child has played dog or been obsessed with cats or wished they were a dragon. It might be related to your current identity, but if those were your primary nonhuman experiences you would hardly consider yourself nonhuman, nor would you find a home in the community.

No, your identity is based on who and what you are right now, and what you’re experiencing this moment. The validity of your identity should not be judged based on the number of times you pretended to be that creature in kindergarten. Your kintype should be determined based on your current experiences. And if your current experiences include things that humans can also go through, that should have no impact on the validity of your identity.

Alright, back on topic: Hopefully, we can agree that there’s no shame in strengthening your connections, reinforcing what traits you already have, and in drawing connections between a nonhuman identity and seemingly human traits. Which is a nice segue into a statement that might ruffle a few feathers:

Linktypes are typically based on preexisting traits that are reinforced to fit a certain narrative or ideal. A copinglink or an otherlink is rarely if ever pulled out of thin air. You just can’t craft an identity from nothing. Yeah, crazy, I know?

This parallels otherkin identities, which, as I mentioned earlier, are based on preexisting experiences and connections that one chooses to give a name and to strengthen.

The process of becoming a linker usually starts with recognizing certain traits that one either wants, or already has but wants to reinforce, by focusing them through a linktype. For example, wanting to become better at handling stress can be difficult to accomplish on its own, but is made easier by thinking about what a specific character or animal would do in a stressful situation.

But you can’t just establish a connection to any given character. There needs to be a resonance between you and the linktype, and if you don’t already have that resonance with the character, it’s impossible for you to craft an identity around them. And in that sense you could easily argue that there is an involuntary aspect to linktypes.

Once the prospective linker has recognized a connection with a character, they will begin the process of reinforcing the identity, which can include anything from writing fanfics in 1st person to wearing clothes reminiscent of the character to asking people to treat you like the character. All things that an otherkin or fictionkind might do when first establishing their identity.

A key trait of linking is that a linktype should fade away once you stop reinforcing it… Linktypes are supposed to go away if you just ignore them and push them away long enough. They’re built to be temporary.

However, a significant number of linkers or former linkers have talked about their linktype becoming an inseparable part of how they view themselves - even the ones who might be able to force their linktype away would at this point become completely different people if they did so.

In other words, their linktype has become an inherent part of who they are as a person. This integrality can appear regardless of how much effort they put into creating the linktype in the first place, and regardless of how nonexistent the linktype was before they created it… What I’m getting at is that some people describe creating an identity from scratch by their own choice, which later becomes an irreversibly ingrained part of them. It’s an experience completely contrary to the idea that we are born nonhuman. I’ll refer to these people as ‘linkers-turned-kin’.

There are a few regular rebuttals I’ve seen to this idea: That linkers-turned-kin just had a late awakening. Or that, perhaps, they felt compelled by their inner true species to seek out the identity. Or even that they were actually born nonhuman, but just didn’t realize until later.

All these rebuttals are disrespectful of the linker-turned-kin’s experiences and intelligence. I won’t even try to hide it: They make me angry. The rebuttals ride on the idea that the born-this-way idea of nonhuman identities is a fact rather than a common belief. I know that for a lot of people the born-this-way narrative rings true. I see you and I am not trying to invalidate your beliefs. Instead, I want you to acknowledge that others may not have the same belief as you. For several people in our community otherkinity is an identity that develops in response to certain traits they have - for some, those traits are inherent, something they’re born with. For others they’re traits that developed later in life, or that were worked towards. And I want to argue that, for some, these traits were expressly chosen.

The reason these arguments against linker-turned-kin make me so angry, aside from the fact that they’re built on the idea that linkers-turned-kin don’t understand their own experiences, and the assumption that your idea of how nonhuman identities work trumps someone’s lived experience… Another reason the arguments make me so angry is that they prescribe more importance to the why than the how of our identity. When you define otherkin by the way our identity formed, you’re basically saying that the cause of otherkinity is more important than the experience of otherkinity.

We can’t talk about this without also exploring the community’s animosity towards psychological beliefs.

Through my years in the community, I feel like I’ve had to handhold some folks through the concept of religious tolerance. I remember a little over 4 years ago someone on tumblr asked me my opinion on fictionkind - it would be another 2 years before I had my own awakening, so my response was basically that I was fine with fictionkind, though I didn’t understand their experiences and the only way it could fit into my own worldview was as a psychological phenomenon. Even after my awakening, the latter still holds true. My fictionkinity is primarily psychological. But yeah, somehow my statement that I didn’t believe fictionkinity was caused by past lives got twisted into me saying that fictionkind were all just roleplayers.

Rereading the whole debacle that ensued, this twisting of my words had little to nothing to do with my own personal beliefs - it instead exposed a widespread antipathy towards psychological otherkin. When I have talked about my current experiences as a gnoll, my shifts and my flashbacks and my hiraeth, people generally accept it without a second thought. But when I mention that I believe it’s caused by various psychological phenomena, I have on multiple occasions been told that it must not be a real identity. Some people have even treated my parallel life as just an elaborate fantasy, rather than something that’s completely real to me. I have, word for word, been told that there’s no way I could identify as a nonhuman, or be another species than a human, without believing I have a nonhuman soul. A direct quote: “To say “I am fae” when [you] don’t believe in fae is illogical.”

What I take from these kinds of responses is that a subset of people within our community take it for granted that whatever beliefs someone has about the origin of their identity are objectively true, rather than understanding that our beliefs about our origins are just that: Beliefs. Whatever conclusion we’ve reached based on our experiences, reincarnation or imprinting or something else entirely, and no matter how much we believe in it, it will always be a belief and never a fact. I’m fully convinced that my bison identity is caused by a past life, and that my gnoll and Ben 10 identities are caused by various psychological phenomena. But if that doesn’t fit into someone else’s worldview, they have all the right in the world to explain it away however they want. I have friends who believe my bison identity must be caused by something psychological, and I have friends who believe my gnoll identity must be caused by something spiritual. That is their prerogative.

It doesn’t matter how people make sense of my nonhumanity, as long as they’re respectful towards my own experiences with my identity and don’t try to impose their beliefs on me. If you have to quietly believe that someone really has a faerie soul in order to accept that they’re really a fae, so be it. As long as you don’t try to deny the reality of their current identity. As long as you don’t try to claim that they aren’t really nonhuman, just because they have the quote-unquote “wrong” beliefs about their origin.

There is another, more recent and more prominent, example of the animosity towards psychological otherkin that comes to mind. I will not mention the term itself for fear of people harassing its creator. For the purpose of this lecture, I’ll refer to the concept as “nonhuman by birth”, which is essentially its meaning. If you know which word I’m talking about, I ask that you please don’t mention it in the chat. If you need to know, you can DM me. Also, don’t misunderstand this as me hating on people with past life or soul beliefs. Remember, my own bison identity is based on a soul from a past life.

So, last year a rather old community member on tumblr coined a term, separate from ‘otherkin’, to refer specifically to those who believe they have a nonhuman soul. Which wouldn’t be a problem in and of itself. After all, terms like animafidem and cerebrumalius have been around for half a decade with no issues. However, “nonhuman by birth” is specifically described in its coining post as a “less bastardized” alternative to the word ‘otherkin’. What this post describes as “less bastardized” is spiritual experiences, and specifically those spiritual experiences that are based on soul transfers and reincarnation. Essentially “nonhuman by birth” defines all other beliefs as bastardizations of what otherkinity is supposed to be. All beliefs, including spiritual beliefs that aren’t based on souls or past lives, psychological beliefs, beliefs of becoming nonhuman, beliefs based on magic, neurological beliefs, and archetypal beliefs… None of these are quote-unquote “true otherkin” according to the “nonhuman by birth” concept.

The word thankfully never gained much traction off tumblr, but I have seen individuals use it, and it always, without fail, makes me feel unwelcome, and unwanted. Not because there’s anything wrong with a strong belief in past lives or souls, but because those who choose to use that label specifically believe themselves to be the only true nonhumans. Because the term itself is not based on a respectful, individual belief, but on what its coiner believes to be an objective fact. Because this subset of our community has an almost-evangelical conviction that all nonhumans have nonhuman souls, and those who don’t have nonhuman souls are not nonhuman.

And like I mentioned earlier: The cause of otherkinity can affect the experience a lot. That’s why we have these discussions in the first place - we come together due to our similarities, and we try to understand each other and ourselves by discussing our differences. And this is exactly why proclaiming any version of nonhumanity as the One True Kind of Nonhumanity is so damaging. It completely stifles any exchange of ideas. It makes it impossible for us to understand our differences, and it leads to more and more narrowly defined subcommunities that all believe themselves to be more real than the others.

To define is to limit. We need some limitations, otherwise a dog is a cat and no words have meaning. But we need to be extremely careful where we want those limits to be, otherwise we end up with a community where psychological otherkin are bastards, and only those who are born with nonhuman souls are really nonhuman.

The next thing I want to discuss is subjective truth… Subjective truth is one of the most important concepts to understand and really internalize if we wanna have fruitful discussions and respectful experience sharing. In short, a subjective truth is something that is not real because it can be proven to exist through scientific measurements but is instead real because a person experiences it as real. If I make the claim that tea tastes better than coffee, for example, you cannot refute that simply because you think coffee tastes better. We have to understand each other’s experiences and accept that we experience the world in different ways. It’s equally true to say that coffee is better than tea and that tea is better than coffee. This is what I was talking about when I said that the “born-this-way”-narrative and the becoming-narrative are equally true.

So, how does subjective truth apply to this discussion?

A phenomenon in the community I’m sure we’re all aware of is kin memories. If you’re somehow not aware of them, in short they are images, episodes, sensory information, and similar experiences that are thought to stem from another life, usually a past life. They have all the qualia of a memory, except they didn’t happen to the body currently recalling them. These experiences, though, are not restricted to those who believe their nonhumanity stems from a past life. They aren’t even restricted to spiritual otherkin. Plenty of folks with psychological beliefs, mixed beliefs, and other beliefs report the exact same experience: Images, episodes, and sensory information that does not originate from this world or from this current life.

For decades there’s been a lexical gap in the community to describe these memories that aren’t memories. Which is where I can’t avoid tooting my own horn a bit. I have an extremely rich and detailed parallel life as a gnoll, from which I can quote-unquote “recall” events, people, traditions, names, and so much more. It’s all integral to my nonhuman identity.

However, because I believe it all stems from some deep unconscious part of my brain, and because it feels like a parallel life, not a past life, I never felt right calling these things memories. So almost two years ago at this point, I undertook the quest to fill that lexical gap. And after looking through dozens of obscure web pages and dictionaries and articles, I found something useful: The word ‘noema’. Noema is a rarely used Greek word that translates to concept, idea, perception, or thought. And I’ve been very happy to see the term catching on in my corner of the community, where it’s often used as a broader alternative to ‘memory’.

In philosophy, a noema is defined as “the perceived as it is perceived.” At first this might sound a bit vague or esoteric, but when looked at through the lens of subjective truth it suddenly starts to make sense. A subjective truth is something that’s real just because a person experiences it as real. A noema is the perceived as it is perceived. So when we’re using noema as a substitute for memory… when we’re discussing memory-like experiences in the community and we explicitly refer to them as noemata, instead of referring to them as memories, the actual cause of the noema is then irrelevant. The only thing that matters is that it’s in one way or another perceived as a memory. When talking about noemata, it’s completely and utterly irrelevant if they’re real in any objective way - the only thing that matters is that the individual experiences the noema as real. Essentially the word ‘noema’ makes the cause irrelevant, so we can instead focus on the experience alone.

And I think the fact that this word has caught on (at least on tumblr) hints that our community might be moving in a positive direction. I at least dream of a community where we care a lot less about our origins, and a lot more about our actual presence in the world.

I had a conversation with a friend a few months ago, about this community-wide worry about the origins of our identity. And just to reiterate, I’m not saying your spiritual beliefs are irrelevant, because they can be really important when forming a whole picture of your identity. I’m more so saying they can be a bit of a distraction. In my opinion, the whole discussion about spirituality vs psychology is a red herring. Most of us didn’t seek out the community because we had certain spiritual beliefs. We sought it out because we felt not-quite-human, and it was only later that we reached any conclusions about why we feel nonhuman.

So, my friend and I talked about the role this discussion of origins plays in our community, and we reached a few interesting conclusions. For starters, it’s really upsetting to some folks to have to earnestly consider the idea that reincarnated souls are no more real or ‘valid’ than psychological imprinting, or any other non-spiritual beliefs for that matter. That’s part of what started the whole ‘nonhuman by birth’ idea I mentioned earlier. And it seems this uncomfortableness stems from a place of insecurity.

At the risk of offending some folks, I’m gonna draw a parallel to the trans community. In the trans community there’s a discussion of origins that parallels the one in the kin community and is likewise an attempt to draw lines between the quote-unquote ‘real’ trans people and the so-called transtrenders - which are supposedly people who pretend to be trans for clout. Those who attempt to draw these lines proclaim that being trans is a medical condition that they wouldn’t wish on their worst enemy, and one that’s marked by intense dysphoria and stress. They’ll also regularly state that being trans is only real or ‘valid’ because it has been proven through MRI brain scans that some female-assigned people have supposedly male brains, and vice versa.

(And just to make things clear, those brain scans are not real. It’s malicious pseudoscience spread by people who want to ‘cure’ transness by preventing trans kids from being born.)

But I think this attempt at validating your identity - in this case with science - stems from a dislike of one’s own traits, or more likely from the outside world’s dislike of those traits. When certain trans people try to prove themselves more valid than others in the eyes of the public, it’s not because they just hate those they deem ‘not trans enough’ - it’s because they’re afraid of being rejected by the rest of the world. These people are basically saying: “I didn’t choose to be trans. This is how I was born, so you have to accept it because it’s unchangeable.” It’s a cry for acceptance in an unaccepting world. And all this is not to say that some trans people aren’t born trans; I really think most trans people have a narrative like that. I’m more so trying to get across that, someone else’s narrative of choice should have no impact on your narrative of involuntarity. Both are real ways to experience being trans. And in many ways, having a narrative of choosing to be trans is necessary for the community, because it closes the doors for eugenicists who would try to eliminate quote-unquote “the trans gene”.

Viewing transness as a purely medical phenomenon where you need to meet certain requirements to get a trans diagnosis is a really reductive way to look at identity. Like I mentioned earlier: An identity is not just the sum of its parts, and it cannot be summarized by being forced to feel dysphoria. The fact of the matter is that we don’t know trans people are real because we have brain imaging technology, or even because certain people meet the medical criteria for having gender dysphoria. We know trans people are real because there are real people who identify as trans. We should be able to trust that people are trans when they tell us they are. And I think we need to look at nonhuman identities the same way.

Before I move on to the conclusion, I want to explain why this topic has become so important to me. A couple of months ago, after a good year or two of introspection, I realized I had created a hearttype. Not a kintype, but nonetheless an equally integral part of how I view myself and engage with the world. And changing something so fundamental about myself sent my thoughts racing.

When I was a kid I picked up a fear of spiders. It wasn’t bad enough to give me panic attacks, but it was bad enough that I couldn’t pick up a spider and carry it outside, even though I could do so with other bugs. I was around 10 years old when I decided that this was dumb, and I wanted to change it. So as a tween I quickly started on my own exposure therapy, looking at photos of spiders, reading about them, photographing them in nature, and after several years it had gotten to the point where I barely had a reaction to seeing them. But as I continued on, getting used to the idea of holding them and touching them, something changed in me.

Where I had previously felt fear, I started to feel admiration and love and a sense of familiarity. I wanted to surround myself with these animals, I wanted to work with them, and I started spending a not-insignificant amount of money on terrariums. And now, after more than a decade of rewriting my own thoughts and changing a mild fear into a love so deep it affects my sense of identity itself, I feel confident saying I created a hearttype. It was not an easy process. Like I said, it took more than a decade. Changing your entire mindset like that can’t be done with just a snap of your fingers. But evidently, some people are able to do it.

Though I have to add that, even here, it’s very easy to argue that there was some level of involuntarity. I already had an emotional response to spiders when I was scared of them. I don’t think I could form this kind of relationship with something I’m completely indifferent to, like, I dunno, a Toyota or a Marvel character. You can’t really form a relationship from nothing. And I appreciate this argument, because it really highlights just how confusing the entire concept of choice is, and how it doesn’t make sense to define ourselves by our lack of choice, when we can’t even define what counts as a choice.

But yeah, realizing that I created a hearttype, an identity that at the time was considered involuntary�� realizing that I didn’t just play a part in creating this identity, but that I did create it, period. It sent my mind spinning, and I couldn’t stop thinking about what else might be possible. If I could create such love in myself, could I also do the opposite and tear down my own hearttype and recreate the phobia? Not something I want to test. But I think I could. And which other identities could be created like this?

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that the creation process has no impact on the nature of the identity itself, and I ended up posting a really controversial thing on tumblr. In hindsight I understand why some people got so pissed off about it, but I still stand by those thoughts. I’ll read it to you in full: “Theoretically I probably could force myself to not be otherkin. But it would take a decade or more, the way my hearttype creation did, and it would require constant work throughout those years. However, I see no way I wouldbenefit from that work, the way I did when I unintentionally created a hearttype in the process of getting rid of a phobia. It would just rid me of a part of myself that’s intrinsic to how I recognize myself. That’s not something I in any way want - and because I don’t want it, and because the choice would have to happen continuously on a timescale I can barely comprehend, I couldn’t make that choice in practicality.”

A very long and very complicated discussion came out of this post that I’d need a whole separate lecture to recap. But a few important ideas were developed, which I need to mention here. For starters, when discussing shadowwork and the Jungian archetypes, Jasper accidentally coined the term ego alteration. Through that discussion we ended up defining ego alteration as the process by which you proactively alter your conscious mind, your self-perception, and your thought-patterns. It’s not something to be taken lightly, as you’ll essentially be changing your sense of self by it. And it’s also not something everyone has the ability, desire, or drive to do. To integrate something into your sense of self, or to remove something that’s currently a part of your sense of self is serious business, and, like my hearttype creation, is something that should be thought about on a decades long timescale. I don’t have time to get in-depth about it here, but to consciously change your identity and your sense of self is definitely possible for some folks, and it’s nice to have a name for the concept.

Something else that came of that discussion is my own thoughts about how we define otherkin. The most common definition I’ve seen is “to identify, wholly or partially, as something nonhuman on a nonphysical level, by no choice of your own.” … I suggest we drop the last bit.

Okay, it’s a bit more complicated than just deleting a few words. In order to drop the “by no choice of your own” bit, without losing the meaning of otherkinity completely, and letting kin for fun take over, we’d need to rethink that entire definition.

Instead of defining otherkin by the amount of choice we had in the formation of our identity, I suggest we define otherkin by how integral our identities are to us. It was briefly mentioned on in one of the other panels (though I forget which one), but a pretty big source of conflict is that kin for fun just don’t understand the gravity of otherkin identities. If we define otherkinity as something that’s inseparable from who we are as individuals, it would not only make it clear to kin for fun that this is, well, not for fun. It would also get around the problem of people who worry that their identities might be invalid because they’ve made certain choices.

Your otherkinity is inherent, and by that I mean you would be a fundamentally different person if not for your kintype. At its most basic level, your kintype is what you recognize yourself to be. It’s the kind you belong to, rather than, or in tandem with, belonging to humankind. You kintype is an intrinsic part of you, and even if you could get rid of it, it would fundamentally change who you are is a person. If you chose not to be otherkin, you would also choose not to be you. In that sense, I suppose otherkinity is involuntary, in that you yourself can’t choose not to be otherkin, because as soon as you make that choice, you aren’t you. Though you could also argue that it is a choice because you wake up every day and choose to be you. And thus, the topic of choice leaves us running around in circles like it always has.

Being otherkin… being otherkind has never been about being forced to feel species dysphoria. It’s about being of another kind. It’s about knowing and recognizing humankind, and accepting that, in one way or another, that does not describe us.

And all this is not to say that copinglinking shouldn’t be a concept, but we need to rethink that as well. From the very few copinglink writings that exist, one topic I’ve seen several times is the idea of copinglinks becoming inseparable from you. This is not the point of links, and those who do go through a change like that find themselves more at home in the kin community than the link community. I don’t want to impose myself on linkers, but if we want these two words to make sense and have a use, we need to redefine both. I suggest defining copinglinks and otherlinks by their lack of integrality or by their ability to be dropped when necessary.

The line that has been drawn between otherkin and copinglinkers doesn’t help anyone as it is. There are far too many nonhumans who straddle the line, who feel torn between either community, or who only call themselves linkers because they feel pressured to do so. There are far too many nonhumans who don’t feel like they have a community they can call home.

So, I’m gonna propose a new and much more inclusive definition: To be otherkin is to identify as something nonhuman on an inherent or integral level. There you go, clean and simple. No more caveats or nested sentences.

#otherkin #otherkind #fictionkin #fictionkind #alterhuman #othercon #i don't think this is gonna show in the tags so reblogs are very appreciated

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aromantic-spinda · 3 years ago

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Hello fellow aroflux. I recently found your post about definition and I totally agree with what you and other aroflux say about it.

I wanna ask you about how you deal with insecurities and ID crisis whenever you feel romantic attraction or when you flux. Cause I flux a lot, like daily and it gives me a complicated relationship with aromanticism and the label "aro". Cause not only I can feel romantic attraction some of time, I am also romance-favorable (as in I like romantic media and have romantic daydream). Therefore I constantly feel "fake" and dont want to talk about aro experience whenever I feel romantic feeling cause im not qualified??? Like am I faking being aro, am I not trying to enough feel attraction the right way? Wait dont allo people must feel this way too?

So from a aroflux to another, do you have any suggestions to deal with this problem?

Feeling fake is a common experience among those who are part of marginalized communities such as LGBT+ (and neurodivergency, but that's not important rn). It's been a while since I've worried I was faking being aro, so I can't exactly relate to what you're going through. However, here's some suggestions for you:

One: get involved with the aro community. Follow a positivity blog or two, reblog some aro art, or even make yourself an aro blog like I did. Participating in a community helps relieve a lot of your worries about whether or not you belong. The more you connect with others who are in a similar boat, the more you feel like you belong in that boat. (Something I noticed is that making positivity posts about the things you're worried about helps a lot! So, that's one way to get involved while combating your fears.)

Two: treat your labels as pins and not stone carvings. So many people take labels so seriously when they're just meant to be terms that help explain who you are and help you connect with others who share the same sorts of experiences. If you decide later down the line that you no longer vibe with the aroflux label, then that's okay! It doesn't mean you necessarily "faked" anything, just that there was a time you felt the term fit you and you no longer do so! Do you know how many labels I've given up over the years because they no longer fit me? A lot! But that didn't make my experiences as part of those communities any less real. A bit misguided at most, but still real. If you feel the term aroflux fits you, then it fits you and that's all there is to it. You don't have to use it forever. It's a pin on your jacket, not a carving in your life's stone.

Three: learn to say "So what?" about it. Seriously, it helped me a lot when I grew tired of discourse and decided to just say, "You don't like me? Well, so what? Doesn't mean I'm not going to keep on trucking through life." There may be people you come across who say you don't belong in whatever community; who claim you are "too alloro," "too aro," etc to be whatever you feel you are – your own brain may say these things. And to that I say, SO WHAT?? So what if a different term fits you better? So what if you end up changing labels? So what if you discover you're not aroflux? So what?? The world will not end. You will not have betrayed anyone by not considering yourself part of a community anymore. And more importantly, so what if sometimes you experience attraction? Doesn't mean you can't be aro. Many other people are in the same boat as you, feeling attraction sometimes or a lot of the time yet still identifying somewhere on the aromantic spectrum. You're alloromantic sometimes and feel like you don't belong? Say "So what if I feel attraction? I'm still part of this community if I feel I belong." It's true and it's like taking a sledgehammer to your fears. Cathartic and fun!

Four: remember how vast the aro experience is. There are plenty of aros who are romance favorable, like romance in media, like romance involving themselves in theory but not necessarily in practice, and any combination of these things to any degree. We've got aros who could not be more different when it comes to romance! We've got aros who have lots of matching experiences! We've got aros that identify only with "aromantic," and aros who like to use several different labels to describe themselves. If you feel alloromantic sometimes, enjoy romantic media, or want romance involving yourself to some degree, you'd be far from the first aro to be that way. Try seeking out other aros like yourself (the cupioromantic community may be a good place to start)!

Thank you for your patience in my response to this question – Tumblr decided it was going to mess with me and hide my drafted response to this. I hope that you feel more confident in your identity and can banish doubt in who you are from your mind.

#aro #aromantic #aroflux #arospec #long post #asks

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arcticdementor · 3 years ago

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The news business just can’t stop clowning itself. The latest indignity is an international fact-checking debacle originating, of all places, at a “festival of fact-checking.”

The Poynter Institute is perhaps the most respected think tank in our business, an organization seeking to “fortify journalism’s role in a free society,” among other things through its sponsorship of the fact-checking outlet PolitiFact. A few weeks back, it held a virtual convention called the “United Facts of America: A Festival of Fact-Checking.”

The three-day event featured special guests Christiane Amanpour, Dr. Anthony Fauci, Brian Stelter, and Senator Mark Warner — a lineup of fact “stars” whose ironic energy recalled the USO’s telethon-execution of Terrance and Phillip before the invasion of Canada in South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut. Tickets were $50, but if you wanted a “private virtual happy hour” with Stelter, you needed to pay $100 for the “VIP Experience.”

…

However, the public is regularly misinformed about what fact-checkers do. In most settings — especially at daily newspapers — fact-checking, if used at all, is the equivalent of the bare-minimum collision insurance your average penny-pinching car renter buys. There’s usually just enough time to flag a few potential dangers for litigation and/or major, obvious mistakes about things like dates, spellings of names, wording of quotes, whether a certain event a reporter describes even happened, etc.

For anything more involved than that, which is most things, fact-checkers have to scramble to make tough judgment calls. The best ones tend to vote for killing anything that might blow up in the face of the organization later on. Good checkers are there to help perpetuate the illusion of competence. They’re professional ass-coverers, whose job is to keep it from being obvious that Wolf Blitzer or Matt Taibbi or whoever else you’re following on the critical story of the day only just learned the term hanging chad or spike protein or herd immunity. In my experience they’re usually pretty great at it, but their jobs are less about determining fact than about preventing the vast seas of ignorance underlying most professional news operations from seeping into public view.

Unfortunately, over the course of the last five years in particular, as the commercial media has experienced a precipitous drop in the public trust levels, many organizations have chosen to trumpet fact-checking programs as a way of advertising a dedication to “truth.” Fact-checking has furthermore become part of the “moral clarity” argument, which claims a phony objectivity standard once forced news companies to always include gestures to a perpetually wrong other side, making “truth” a casualty to false “fairness.”

…

But objectivity was never about giving equal time and weight to “both sides.” It’s just an admission that the news business is a high-speed operation whose top decision-makers are working from a knowledge level of near-zero about most things, at best just making an honest effort at hitting the moving target of truth.

Like fact-checking itself, the “on the one hand and on the other hand” format is just a defense mechanism. These people say X, these people say Y, and because the jabbering mannequins we have reading off our teleprompters actually know jack, we’ll let the passage of time sort out the difficult bits.

The public used to appreciate the humility of that approach, but what they get from us more often now are sanctimonious speeches about how reporters are intrepid seekers of truth who sit next to God and gobble amphetamines so they can stay awake all night defending democracy from “misinformation.” But once you get past names, dates, and whether the sky that day was blue or cloudy, the worst kind of misinformation in journalism is to be too sure about anything. That’s especially when dealing with complex technical issues, and even more especially when official sources seem invested in eliminating discussion of alternative scenarios of those issues.

From the start, the press mostly mishandled Covid-19 reporting. Part of this was because nearly all of the critical issues — mask use, lockdowns, viability of vaccine programs, and so on — were marketed by news companies as culture-war narratives. A related problem had to do with news companies using the misguided notion that the news is an exact science to promote the worse misconception that science is an exact science. This led to absurd spectacles like news agencies trying to cover up or denounce as falsehood the natural reality that officials had evolving views on things like the efficacy of ventilators or mask use.

When CNN did a fact-check on the question, “Did Fauci change his mind on the effectiveness of masks?” they seemed worried about the glee Trump followers would feel if they simply wrote yes, so the answer instead became, “Yes, but Trump is also an asshole” (because he implied the need to wear masks is still up for debate). By labeling whatever the current scientific consensus happened to be an immutable “fact,” media outlets made the normal evolution of scientific debates look dishonest, and pointlessly heightened mistrust of both scientists and media.

#matt taibbi #substack #journalism in action #fact checking

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garetthawke · 4 years ago

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Personally I've seen some frustration around people repeating "the worst takes and making this about something it isn't". My understanding of the core issue "lesbian in living memory was less exclusive than it is now, and as a term was used for and by bi women until fairly recently". My opinion is words changed and lesbian has an established meaning now and sapphic covers the space. But if the "galaxy brains" would shut up, I think this could be a more reasonable intracommunity discussion.

yeah the funny thing about that particular pov is that it's phrased in a highly non-specific way to influence your perception of the argument in their favor, when if stated more clearly and factual and in context, wouldn't be the argument they think it is.

"used by bi women until fairly recently" is the BIGGEST kicker for me because...."bisexual" was emerging in popularity in the mid 20th century, and the solidification of it as an identity and the foundations of it as a community all but eliminated the usage of "lesbian" by bi women. "living memory" perhaps, but as far as american queer history, that's not "recent." it's only "recent" in terms of the 20th century as a whole seeming recent. queer american history as far as we recognize it is only about as old as the 20th century in the first place.

the other kicker here is the context - the reason lesbian was used by bi women wasn't because of an all accepting community or whatever bullshit, but because lgbt people had been oppressed and silenced for decades and were for the first time in american history were forming communities and learning to create language for ourselves. the point of shared terminology wasn't due to a mindset of all acceptance, it was due to a lack of identities and language.

bi people took longer than gay folks to find labels for their experiences and form communities around them bc of this, bc our "identities" were revolving around our oppressed and visible similarities. as a result many queer people existed in gay spaces and used gay labels because they were what was understood and accessible. keep in mind this was PRE INTERNET - new ideas, labels, communities, etc. - they were not able to be spread through social media, change was slower, education and self discovery was slower.

(and note: the slowness of change and it being pre internet makes "in living memory" virtually meaningless. all memory was of local communities and experiences because they weren't observing the international, national, or even broader communities. they were witness to local communities and what spread within them, meaning a single person's living memory could be one near exclusive to their area and not in line with what most people of the time experienced. so again, "in living memory" is a trick of phrasing and the argument.)

but even then, queer and specifically lesbian communities weren't "lesbians and bi women sharing a label." for a long ass time, lesbian wasn't even a label. it was an action, something you did, not something you were. self identification and community was founded most prominently on being queer, being marginalized, being oppressed. not the the pride in self identification we are familiar with today. it was survival tactics. the "shared community" was women who were in danger for being gnc, trans, or visibly loving women.

the evolution of lesbian as an "exclusive" term is a product of PROGRESSION. as it became less dangerous to be visibly queer, it no longer became neccessary to define ourselves by the danger we faced, or by only our similarities that made us targets for that danger. we were more able to explore ourselves, our identities, and find pride in those identities in ways that hadn't been done before, in what made us US. we weren't just queer, we had words for our experiences and could take pride in them, rather than just being an oppressed "other."

specifically for bi people - bi women now had more of a place in the community because by solidifying a more prominent bi community and pushing bi activism, they started identifying themselves by their attraction instead of by whether they were seeking women. this is an important to bisexuality, because we know seperating bi people by being "half gay" rather than their own identity is damaging. the commonality AND the neccessity for sapphic women to be called "lesbian" became non-existent, while it became incredibly important for exclusive wlw to have a way to do the same for themselves.

it was progress and increased safety that saw a split in our communities. instead of finding community in only the experiences we shared, namely being women seeking women, a bi woman who wasn't actively seeking a woman could find the opportunity to join a community and self explore as bisexual, when she in no way would have been considered lesbian or part of the community before.

the important context for this is that lesbian, while arguably more "inclusive" (and i have further reason to pick that apart*,) has always been defined around sapphicism. it wasn't a shared space for bi women and lesbians, it was a space for women seeking women and it had no space for men. bi women deserved to be defined by more than one part of their attraction, and with raised bi awareness, it became increasingly apparent that a space defined by and about only one type of attraction is not good or progressive for bi women.

people like to cite terf-incited lesbian seperatism as the reason why lesbian spaces became exclusive, but that's incredibly misinformed. bi women were already leaving for their own spaces, but it was a slow progression. it WAS progression though, in the way i just detailed, but that part got lost to the history of biphobic terfs shouting out bi women, which in reality only served to destabilize the sapphic community and create tensions between us that previously wasn't as strong.

i could make this ten times longer and detail how "bi lesbian" nonsense from this is actually regressive and hiding behind the claim of "but history" and has ties to radfem's "political lesbianism" and encourages its rhetoric, but I'm actually really tired atm.

*the community historically has not been fucking "inclusive." this claim is made by white cis bi women who look at white cis bi women in history who used "lesbian," and think that marks inclusitivity. the whole lgbt through the 20th century was very racially segregated, and heavily exclusive of trans women. that's not "inclusitivity," and trying to explain bi women's use of the word lesbian in history by claiming it was "inclusitivity" is a white and cis perspective. inclusitivity had nothing to do with it.

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multimetaverse · 5 years ago

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We've been fed so much lately!! What do you think of Luke's interview with Lisa and Terri's with pastemagazine? And are you happy Josh told us what he meant by the endgame changing?

Indeed we have anon. I loved Luke’s interview with Shine on Media, Lisa has been a fan of the show from the start and her questions are always good ones. I’m very glad we got confirmation that TJ is gay and that’s canon so there should be no more TJ sexuality discourse. Also nice to know that Luke knew TJ was gay from before the muffin scene and that he and Josh were trying to play things as gay as possible the entire time. We really lucked out getting Josh and Luke to play the first two openly gay characters on Disney Channel; that they were so happy and supportive of these roles and always did their best to come through for the audience. And nice to know that they both wanted the Tyrus story line to go faster, as did we all.

Another anon asked me why Terri wouldn’t have done a chemistry test with Josh and Luke when they were casting TJ which is a good question. Certainly the casting directors would have had that in mind since they cast someone Josh’s age and they obviously didn’t cast Luke for his basketball skills or skills at playing a villain. They did luck out that Josh and Luke ended up being such close friends and having such great on screen chemistry. I don’t think it’s a surprise that Luke’s acting got much better after 2x05 as TJ had an actual purpose and motivation. Terri really should have told him from the start but she would have had to if not by 2x08 then 2x11 for sure, as there’s no way to do the swingset scene if the actors and director and editors don’t all know that it’s a romantic scene.

It’s wild that Terri never took steps to make sure either Luke or his family weren’t homophobic or at least unwilling to play a gay character before bringing him on. That would have been a dark timeline, TJ either being written out early on and maybe some new character brought in to take his place or TJ still be used for the dyscalculia story line but then being dropped after S2 and likely no one replacing him as Cyrus’ love interest in S3 given how much more censored the gay story line was in S3.

I’m glad Josh came clean. That they were unsure that Tyrus would ever canon was my best guess and I’m working on another ask about it and laying out how the Tyrus story line in S3 has no real direction and with the exception of the gun plot is just fluffy or angsty filler. It’s sad to know that Tyrus came so close to never canoning and I can’t imagine how depressing it must have been for Josh and Luke to film the entire season not knowing if the Tyrus story line would ever have any pay off. I’m glad though that Terri was at least upfront with them that she wasn’t sure if she’d get canon Tyrus approved in the finale. A lot of Josh’s comments and actions come off much sadder now, like when he was so happy that Asher said Tyrus was real in their October press tour or when he commented on tumblr that the press tour was the first time Disney had let him speak openly about Tyrus. He must have been desperately seeking validation and any kind of hints he could that Disney would actually allow canon Tyrus.

That being said, the cast should never have been allowed to talk about Tyrus so openly and so often when they had no guarantee it would ever happen. All those cast interviews they did back in October almost ended up being massive queerbait. I don’t blame the cast as they’re all teens but the adults in their lives should have stepped in and reined things in.

Terri’s paste magazine interview comes off as extremely disingenuous especially in regards to the Tyrus kiss. I’m surprised so many people bought her spin but if she couldn’t even get permission for canon Tyrus until the very end of production which was well after the show had been cancelled then how on earth was she ever going to get a kiss or anything else approved? I could claim that I choose not to live in a mansion because it doesn’t fit my lifestyle but it’s not a real choice because I could never afford to buy a mansion just like Terri would never have been able to get a kiss approved or Cyrus saying aloud that he had a crush on TJ or Tyrus slow dancing or Cyrus founding a GSA club at school, or anything else she wants to pretend she could have done if only there had been one more season. And her ‘’queerbaiting and Disney censorship’’ instagram post back in November was wildly inappropriate when the gay story line was being obviously censored and when the entire Tyrus story line almost ended up being nothing more than queerbait. And for her to attempt an internalized homophobia story line in what she knew were the final eps of the series with a character she had no idea if she could ever confirm is gay is incredibly stupid.

Still I do feel sorry for Terri as I truly don’t think she knew when she brought TJ in that it would take this long to get so little pay off. The Tyrus story line began in the 20th ep of the series and didn’t canon until the 57th aired ep, two-thirds of the entire series went by before their feelings were explicitly confirmed. The look back was a huge mistake and built up expectations too high even with it being edited but logically if Disney approved TJ looking back at Cyrus in 2x25 it would have been a positive sign that they were open to exploring Tyrus at the time as the unedited look back would have let the audience know TJ was gay which would have given Terri reason to hope she could get them together before 3x20. I think it’s interesting that Josh compared canon Tyrus in S3 to Cyrus coming out in what was originally 1x13 when he’s talked before about how Cyrus was always slated to come out to Andi in 2x13. It really does suggest that Disney more or less let Terri write what she wanted for Cyrus’ arc in S2 which also fits with the Tyrus story line flowing very well before cracking down hard in S3.

Personally, I think the most interesting thing we learned from Terri’s interview is that they learned they would be cancelled when they were going to write 3x10. Looking back, 3x10 does seem like a rough dividing line for a lot of stories. Jonah’s panic attacks are addressed in 3x11 then dropped, Jamber is resurrected in 3x12 along with the wish and Amber suddenly becomes much more prominent in the final half of the season, Walker and Wuffy are disposed of, Marty is brought back and Muffy quickly set up to be endgame. Now that we know that Terri didn’t want endgame Jandi and didn’t know if she would ever get endgame Tyrus we can see why it was so important for the show to bring back Marty so Buffy could get her originally planned endgame. Interestingly, Andi’s art isn’t brought up again until 3x16 which is also when the S1 party was brought back up again which suggests that they didn’t settle on the finale party until then.

There’s one other big moment that happens right after 3x10 which is Cyrus using the word gay and coming out to Jonah in 3x11. I wrote this back in February after the Salt Lake Tribune spoiled that Cyrus would come out to Jonah:

‘’It’s nice that now all of Cyrus’ closest friends know about his sexuality but this does also read as a potential wrap up of Cyrus’ sexuality arc; Cyrus has come out to Buffy, Andi, and Jonah and is proud and confident in his identity and to label himself as gay, quite a far cry from the scared sad Cyrus we saw when he came out to Buffy. With Jonah now in on his secret there’s no more mystery left among his friend group and no need to talk about it again if that’s the path Disney chooses. I do think Terri got some stuff approved in the finale but this ep could very easily provide enough rep that Disney feels fine with having a quiet Korrasami style endgame instead. ‘’

It turns out that my sense of foreboding was correct as 3x11 was written as a potential series finale for the gay story line as they had no clue if Cyrus would ever be able to get together with TJ and indeed Cyrus never did discuss his sexuality ever again.

I’m glad we have a lot of the missing pieces filled in now. I’m also glad I wasn’t a cast or crew member as it seems like S3 would have been an anxious nerve wracking experience, waiting to see if the story line that had been planned from the beginning of S2 would have any pay off. I’m eternally grateful to Terri and Josh and Luke for what they managed to do and the history they made. And thank god Gary Marsh, for whatever reason, decided at the last minute to let those final 40 seconds of the bench scene to make it to air.

#Andi Mack #Tyrus #Cyrus Goodman #TJ Kippen #Luke Mullen #Joshua Rush #Terri Minsky #Andi Mack Asks #Asks #Answered #Andi Mack Season 3 #Andi Mack Production

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missevilwritingblog · 6 years ago

Text

Sneak Peak

Walking into the magic shop felt like breathing clear for the first time.

Shouto made himself stop, eyes blows wide with the impact of it. He wasn’t expecting it to be so… intense. Eye opening. Mind clearing. So much like… home.

“Hello!”

He blinked himself out of his stupor, gaze drawn to a figure towards the back of the room. Horribly enough, he was just enough out of range to be blurry and nondescript even as he squinted.

“Hello,” he offered in return, hoping he didn’t sound out of place. The person at the desk seemed happy enough with it, staring for a moment longer before turning his back to him, to tend to… something. Something that he couldn’t make out, from the blur.

Great. He was accepted- hopefully this meant he wouldn’t have issue with him looking around.

In his experience, most so proclaimed ‘Magic Shops’ were big. Gaudy. Filled to the brim with mirror shelves of books and crystal balls, tactile and ugly in black and purple felt, but this...

This was none of that.

Warm, dark wood floors stretched out in from of him, tall walls carrying painted trees and landscapes around him. Glass terrariums filled the space above his head in varying heights, and lush green vines grew along wooden fixtures every few paces, sectioning off areas of the room.

It was, in a word, completely stunning.

And undeniably magical- the presence walking in cemented it early, but there were other indicators too. Bookshelves, scattered about the walls with books somehow defying gravity and sticking to their undersides. Crystals and plants on top, with neat little notecards that carries details about their significance.

He couldn’t stop himself from smiling at the sight of it all, letting himself feel at peace with the magic in the air. After so many failed, faked magic shops, he was so happy to finally find one that was real. It was comforting.

Shouto immediately moved closer to the first station on his right, taking in everything he could about the space.

Everything was artfully placed on the shelf itself. Three large clear crystals sat atop it, right alongside a small succulent and a pouch of something that looked like glitter, but smelled like herbs. A small card sat in the middle, inside of an ornate looking card holder.

But underneath is where it got interesting.

There was a long table that spanned nearly an entire wall, uncompassing quite a few shelves of different crystals. There were what seemed like individual workstations along it, each with a cubby filled with paper and a cupful of writing utensils. A set of what he could only assume were noise cancelling headphones were perched on stands every few intervals. He picked one up, lifting it to one ear and listening to the steady, bassy beats and soft melodies for a moment. Soothing. He placed it down, hand immediately reaching to pick up the card stand and read it through.

Study Station!

Academia’s hard, but don’t take the bait- It gets much worse if you procrastinate! Clear crystal soothes minds, and bass give you ground. Use this opportunity to turn your C around! A sprinkle of fairydust to light the way, A hint of rosemary to remember your day, And maybe some magic will help you here, So study hard and you won’t shed a tear!

He couldn’t help the huff of a laugh that came out as he read along. It was certainly one of the most interesting spells he’s read in a while, but judging by the aura it did seem to do the trick. How wonderful.

Stepping back to fully appreciate the space before him before his eyes catch on a few soft beanbags, pillows and blankets, all underneath a station made of amethysts that were tucked into a corner of the shop with dark curtain covered windows. The poem riddled notecard claimed it to be a ‘Rest Station’, with soothing amethyst and a hint of lavender, and a complementary tea if you asked the front desk.

Making his way further into the shop, he was stopped by a suddenly padded floor. There were throw pillows scattered about the area, and it lay underneath an array of colorful gems, crystals, and plants spanning multiple shelves. Behind it against the wall, a low bookshelf, with the books separated inside of small cubbies along the floor. On the top, various toys sat upon a clean, smooth surface- clay and colorful viccous liquid, cubes with all sorts of interactable sides, and a few other things that he couldn’t explain. The poem called the space a ‘Relax Station.’

And then there were a series of doors, each with colored plaques attached, but no words. Stricken with curiosity, Shouto reached for the handle of one labeled ‘Blue’ before a clear voiced called across to him.

“That room’s already being occupied.”

Startled, Shouto turned around to see the same person from before watching him over a granite counter. Now that he was closer, the person’s features were much clearer. He was shorter than Shouto, but broader, well defined muscles peaking underneath shirt sleeves. Shouto’s gaze momentarily lingered on a series of jagged scars that lined his right arm before he forced his eyes elsewhere. He knew better than anyone that it was impolite to stare, after all.

Dark green curls fell around a softly shaped face, ending just above freckled cheeks- he might have been cute, if not for the guarded, weary expression he held, the sharpness behind his eyes. Shouto took a halfstep back, the small smile that he’d been sporting falling immediately into a firm line. Right. This was still a mage, and he still needed to be careful, regardless of the

“I was simply curious to know what was inside,” he offered by way of apology, moving away from the door with long steps, closer to the counter. “Maybe you could enlighten me instead?”

The person pursed his lips, looking him up and down- appraising me, Shouto thought with fleeting excitement- before crossing his arms.

“That depends. Why are you here?”

Ah. That was his moment. He conjured back a fraction of the easy smile that’d come to him earlier, hoping it would be enough to show his friendly intentions.

“I’m a traveler,” he started, keeping his voice low- there wasn’t anyone else in the shop, but he couldn’t risk it either way. “I’ve been searching for others like me. Those I’ve found haven’t been as… amicable, to my arrival, as I’d hoped they be.” He gestured to his hair with a slight grimace. “I understand that as a Todoroki, I carry with me a certain stigma, but I’m simply seeking companionship and guidance away from home and my father.”

The person did not look impressed in the slightest- in fact, he looked almost confused. That made sense, though. There was no news of a Todoroki out at the moment, he wouldn’t be surprised if he was asked to prove his legitimacy. At least it left him unwary, open.

“How did you find this shop?” He asked instead, frowning. “Was it recommended by someone?”

“Oh, no.” Shouto’s smile came a little easier now that the tension had left the air. He reached into his pocket for his so called phone, placing it on the granite table between them. “There’s an application on this device that shows me things when I ask for them. Sort of like a direction scrying.”

The person in front of his stared at the phone for a minute, brows furrowed in some sort of concentration before he glanced back up to meet his eye.

“You’re looking for somewhere away from your father?”

Shouto’s smile fell immediately, and he had to stop himself from nervously icing over his right hand. “Yes, that’s correct.”

The person in front of him studied him for a moment longer. Shouto fought the urge to shift his weight on his feet, trying to stand taller and quell his fear, although he wasn’t sure he succeeded. Luckily, he must have seen whatever it was looking for, because he’d nodded and stepped out from behind the counter with a small smile of his own.

“I think I might be able to help you out. What’s your name?”

Shouto tried not to show his own confusion at the question- wasn’t it obvious? Or maybe it was necessary, in order for him to pass through housing wards. It didn’t much matter- he could share his name with the only mage who would give him help.

“Todoroki Shouto.” He offered a small bow afterwords. “Thank you for the opportunity.”

The person in front of him just smiled more. “It’s not really an issue,” he assured gently. “I’ve helped other in your position before, I understand how bad it can get at times. Oh- and I’m Midoriya Izuku, by the way! It’s nice to meet you.”

“It’s nice to meet you, as well.”

Okay so in the BB discord group, my team (Lie’s Leigion) was given the prompt “Magic Shop” to create a piece of media for.

I... went overboard, haha. So there’s a ~6k oneshot coming in the next few days, but for right now here’s a little 1.5 K sneak peek!

#bnha #midoriya izuku #todoroki shouto #Tododeku #fanfic #sneak peak #tdbb #Lie's Legion #I mean I really #really went over board #I cut a lot of it back #Originally Izuku was going to be living with Katsuki and Eri #But it's #Its already so much #and it's like 12:30 at night #and I wanted to get something out for it today bc I felt ba #so here #Enjoy i guess?

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dippedanddripped · 6 years ago

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As retailers are finding it increasingly difficult to get shoppers (particularly new, young ones) into their brick-and-mortar stores, a slew of luxury brands seem to have a strategy for engaging consumers: Get them to go somewhere else — not to shop, but to hang out.

This summer, Dolce & Gabbana opened a "cultural hub," as it's calling it, on Mercer St. in Soho, New York. While one can shop there during the day, the space is first and foremost a luxurious, Instagrammable clubhouse for the youths. It hosts monthly events, like a concert featuring up-and-coming bands, or a "drink and draw" night.

Also this summer, Coach debuted Life Coach, an experiential pop-up in New York meant to "lead guests on a journey of self-discovery." It contained exactly zero products for sale; instead, it housed immersive and photogenic rooms. Perhaps you saw one made to look like a New York City subway station, where guests could graffiti the walls, on your social media feeds; there was also a Coney Island-inspired room with games and a mystical forest with tarot card readings.

Over the past few months, Hermès, the most exclusive and luxurious of all exclusive, luxurious brands, opened "Carré Club" (carré means "scarf") pop-ups in New York, Toronto, Singapore, Los Angeles and Milan. With free public admission, guests could get photos taken, sing karaoke (sorry, Carré-Ok), enjoy complimentary refreshments from a café and watch artists and designers work in an on-set atelier. Scarves were available to purchase, but they were in no way the main focus of the event.

A guest at Dolce & Gabbana Mercer St. Photo: Courtesy of Dolce & Gabbana

In September in London, Matchesfashion.com opened 5 Carlos Place, a Mayfair townhouse with a retail component that most notably serves as a community space where all sorts of event programming has and will take place, as well as live streaming and podcasts for those who can't visit it in person — think high-level events like book signings, panel discussions, supper clubs, luxury brand installations and intimate musical performances. The opening follows a series of temporary residencies the retailer held in cities like New York, Los Angeles, Paris and Hong Kong for its 30th anniversary featuring similar types of engaging, often-educational events.

Chances are, you've seen at least one of these activations on Instagram, but aside from their photogenic designs, they all have one major (and initially surprising) thing in common: Unlike the many ephemeral retail concepts that came before them, the main goal here is not to sell you stuff. These brands are investing in physical spaces and events without any expectation that they will see a return on that investment — at least not a return that can be measured in dollars.

This concept didn't exactly come out of nowhere. There was February’s Chanel Beauty House in LA featuring room after room of Instagrammable moments. Tiffany & Co.opened its Blue Box Cafe last fall, resulting in a robin's-egg-blue flood of "breakfast at Tiffany" Instagram posts, and it's still tough to get a reservation there. Nordstrom debuted its Local concept in 2018, where service is prioritized over inventory. All the way back in 2016, Burberry opened Makers House in London, a pop-up featuring activities and installations meant to showcase the work of British artisans, which it revived in 2017.

The Carré Cafe at Carré Club. Photo: Courtesy of Hermès

Brands and retailers have also started to create Instagrammable moments and/or host workouts, Q&As and panel discussions in their existing stores with increasing frequency, some going so far as to host their own festivals and conferences (see: the In Goop Health wellness summit, Beautycon and Sephoria). Outside of the luxury fashion and beauty markets, Instagram-fueled experiential spaces have reached a fever pitch in cities like New York and LA, from Refinery29's 29Rooms to the Museum of Ice Cream to the Rosé Mansion that draw lines of people simply hoping to get some good content out of their outing.

"Lululemon really started this shift a number of years ago when it started offering yoga classes in-store," explains Petah Marian, senior editor for WGSN Insight. "It's evolved as other brands saw how consumers bought into this strategy, and then evolved it for their brands."

Today, we're seeing more instances of brands creating these experiences outside of their stores, simply because people don't need to go to stores anymore. "There is a shift taking place where people aren't as keen to spend Saturday afternoons wandering around the mall looking at stuff, because they're largely doing that on their phones," says Marian. "Experiences give them a reason to come into a retailer's space and have an interaction with a brand."

For luxury labels, which tend to be especially precious about their messaging and often shy away from inclusivity and accessibility for fear of brand dilution, the goal should be to convey the value of their brand and product to people who aren't going to visit their store to find that out. "Consumers are increasingly discerning, and simply placing an expensive item on a rail is not going to convince the customer of its worth," says Marian. "These events help create the perception of a product or retailer as a purveyor of valuable goods." Take the Hermès Carré Club, which was clearly about educating attendees about the brand's heritage in an accessible, entertaining way.

Coach's Chief Marketing Officer Carlos Becil tells Fashionista how the company chose to promote its signature collection from Spring 2018: "Instead of being more precious with it, we really set out a plan to be much more inclusive." Hosting the pop-up in a separate space from its retail stores and having nothing to sell were both conscious decisions. "We deliberately wanted to create a new environment and not have the limitations of a pre-designed retail space," he says. That way, guests could "roam throughout the spaces and be on a discovery mission and explore." The goal? That "every single person that walked through it had a very unique experience and walked out of there with a sense of what Coach was about."

Matchesfashion Chief Brand Officer Jess Christie explains that it now takes more than offering free champagne in a store to create a community-like experience. After the 30th anniversary residency events, she realized, "People were looking to make more connections, and the storytelling and content aspects were more important." With the residencies and 5 Carlos Place, the goal is to create community and inspire loyalty, acquiring new customers while engaging existing ones with sophisticated events and educational talks. Marian thinks this is the right way to go about things. "The events they host fit in with ideas of modern luxury around intellectual sophistication," he says. The retailer's sales rose 44 percent last year, so whatever it's doing seems to be working.

Another goal of these experiences is, of course, to generate social media content that those who aren't in attendance will see. "A lot of times, you're like, does it make a good picture for Instagram? That wasn't our first thought," Becil claims. "Our first thought was: How does this space make you feel? If it makes you feel a certain way, you're going to want to capture it; you're going to want to share it."

A rep for Dolce & Gabbana who preferred not to be quoted was open about the fact that the Italian house's space was largely meant to generate social media content. As with its entire marketing strategy lately, from runway shows to campaigns, it's designed to engage younger shoppers, namely millennials, who might not otherwise feel inclined to walk into a regular Dolce & Gabbana store.

"It surprised us when we did In Residence in the U.S., the reach we got was just incredible," says Christie. "In New York and LA, a few thousand customers [in attendence] across all events reached over 21 million on social and Facebook Live."

For most of these events, the metric of success is engagement. Becil says that visitors spent an average of an hour inside the Life Coach space and that social media engagement and editorial coverage exceeded the brand's expectations. He confirmed Coach plans to debut different versions of Life Coach in China, Japan and across North America over the next year, starting with Shanghai, where it's staging its Pre-Fall show on Dec. 8, suggesting the first pop-up was a success.

A panel discussion at Matchesfashion.com In Residence. Photo: Courtesy of Matchesfashion.com

Many of these experiential concepts are meant to engage young people and generate social media content, but, increasingly, that's not enough. "We are going to get to a point where consumers tire of 'brand museums,' those that are just backdrops for Instagram shots," says Marian. "They will start to seek more from those experiences — to learn, play, connect (with a brand or likeminded individuals) or feel a sense of wonder."

Indeed, the brands mentioned in this story seem to be getting that. Matchesfashion's programming has expanded beyond fashion to encompass a 360-degree lifestyle, including workouts and panels on wellness, spirituality and how to become an art collector. Culturally, Christie feels luxury shoppers have "moved away from being on the surface and about status; it's about all what makes you an interesting person, and that's the music you listen to, your food, wellness ... it feels very considered."

On Thursday, Anya Hindmarch will begin a four-day series of events at her Sloane Street store in London geared towards helping attendees get more organized, literally. There will be talks led by productivity enhancement experts who train Google employees, as well as Gill Hasson, the author of "Declutter Your Life," and Helena Morrissey, a financier and mother-of-nine, according to WWD.

That's exactly the sort of thing Marian thinks we'll start seeing brands do next: "Experiences that add more value to a consumers' life, stuff around co-creation, learning new skills, and helping people to live their best lives."

It makes sense given that millennials are increasingly prioritizing self-care and self-improvement when it comes to how they spend their money. It's probably why the name Life Coach resonated so well: In the U.S., the self-improvement market is expected to grow 5.6 percent per year, reaching $13.6 billion by 2022. Millennials reportedly spend twice as much as baby boomers on things like exercise, diet plans, therapy and, yes, actual life coaching.

Brands are just starting to reach millennials where their money is, and while these inventory-less experiences might not drive sales immediately, they will put those brands at top of mind for said millennials when they are ready to make a big purchase, which is increasingly important and invaluable in today's crowded landscape

#hermes #dolce and gobanna #activations #millennials #luxury retail #coach #fashion blogger #streetwear blogger #luxury fashion

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nnaked-mind · 3 years ago

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Reading Black on Asian Hate-Crime Videos

05.11.20

It’s been an interesting time to be living in America as an Asian, to say the least. I was aware of the existence of COVID-19 since late January after visiting relatives in Japan. There was no way I would have imagined the events that would occur, the fear I would witness, and the hatred I would experience just months later. Since the news broke out that the virus began in China and the impacts of the virus were felt by Americans, Asians in America have been the target of explicit displays of racism. I have become a victim to these expressions of hatred myself, being spat on by a random person on the street and having people cover their mouths and avoid being in proximity to me.

Asians in this country are experiencing a rude awakening, if they did not know already, that even the Model Minority myth cannot protect them. What’s caught my attention in particular during these times, is the quick and mass dissemination of videos surrounding cases of anti-Asian hate crimes. I couldn’t help but notice that the videos that garner most traction are not ones that display crimes committed by white people, but are ones that display Black on Asian crimes. There are two videos in particular that have gone viral and have kept my mind busy. The first shows a video filmed by an Asian woman who was harassed on a subway by a Black man, and a white man stands up and helps the Asian woman (Chen). The second is a video of an old man being robbed, mocked, and harassed by a group of Black people, filmed by a Black man (@nicholaaasli). What is particularly interesting about these videos is the responses by Black, Asian, and white people.

There appears to be three popular types of responses to these hate crimes: one that expresses frustration using “if it were the other way around…” as an argument, one that comes from white people who use it to criticize Black people of saying “Black people can’t be racist” while also calling them violent, and one of Black people showing sympathy and un-claiming the Black people in the videos. What do these responses and readings of this video expose on American racial politics between non-white communities? What does this do for both white and non-white spectatorship when Black on Asian violence is popularized and trending for thousands of people to see? I argue that the incessant display of Black on Asian violence acts as a veil for white Amerikkka to hide behind and for Black and Asian Americans to forget who is actually responsible for the oppression and injustice they experience.

The Two Narratives

“People of Asian descent become the model minority when they are depicted to do better than other racial minority groups, whereas they become the yellow peril when they are described to outdo white Americans.”

— Yuko Kawai, Stereotyping Asian Americans

In order to fully understand the analysis of the videos and its effects, it is first important to understand the two narratives that permeate within the video and the responses to the video. The first narrative is one we are all familiar with: the racism against Black Americans and its long history of violence. The other is the less familiar tale of triangulation of Asian Americans. Asians have been labeled Model Minority because they’ve been stereotyped as docile, hardworking, and disciplined. The Model Minority myth, and the petrification of the stereotypes that make up a model minority, was created and used to silence and oppose the Black liberation and Black Panther movements.

Asians and their Model Minority status had granted them a degree of whiteness, giving them privileges that Black Americans could not attain. However, Asians in America were also seen as perpetually foreign. The interchangeability of the terms “Asian” and “Asian American” is proof that to America, there is no difference between a 4th generation Asian and a new immigrant. Asia and its people are seen as mystical and foreign, and we see this constantly whether it be in visual media where anywhere dystopian or futuristic is coded in Japanese aesthetics, or the ways in which people always ask Asians, “where are you from?” In the end, despite the everyday injustices Black people face, they are considered Americans, just like their white counterparts, something Asians will never be seen as.

Asians and Black Americans have always been pitted against each other as if they were direct opposites. When Asian businesses thrive in Black communities, as Asians display their colorism and racism against Black people, Black retaliation is seen as violent and unjust. Asian Americans, in the eyes of many Black Americans, are seen as allies and beneficiaries of white Amerikkka because white Amerikkka said so. Asians are model minorities and Black people are not and never will be no matter what they do because of preconceived notions of what a Black person can and cannot be. The fear-mongering of China and its rise as a global power is reflected in a miniature scale within small businesses in Black and Asian communities. Building up the tension between Black and Asian communities makes it easier to forget that the real enemy is neither Black nor Asian, but Amerikkka. COVID-19 came from China, but the president has announced it as the “Chinese Virus” and consistently blames China for its wrong-doings instead of addressing the failures of his own country. Yellow peril has resurfaced and is being used once again, as a divisive tool.

Understanding Hatred

“A man was expected to behave like a man. I was expected to behave like a Black man.”

— Franz Fanon, Black Skin, White Mask

Jacque Lacan’s Mirror Stage presents us with a theory that people do not come into the world understanding different symbolic systems, but rather it is learned and placed upon us. Fanon builds on this idea by claiming the “negro” is a part of a symbolic system based on what it means to be white, stating, “for not only must the Black man be Black; he must be Black in relation to the white man” (110). What Fanon suggests, is that the idea of what a Black man is supposed to be, pre-exists the Black man itself. There is an imaginary created about what someone who is not white is supposed to be like. If the white man is viewed as civilized, the one who is not white is imagined to be a savage. Non-white bodies are constituted as stereotypical beings, where no matter what they do, they will be seen as stereotypical. When Fanon is shaking in the cold, it is read as shaking in rage (114). If non-white bodies are perceived to be inherently stereotypical, then what is created is a false sense of truth. It means any performance will be viewed within the framework of whatever stereotype, and that performance will inevitably confirm the stereotype.

This concept is vital in understanding the ways the two videos are digested. Let us begin with the video of the Asian man being harassed. The elderly Asian man is recorded to be in distress as a group of Black men take his belongings and physically assaults him when he tries to get it back. The person filming, Dwayne Grayson, a Black man, records him and others saying racist slurs, declaring “I hate Asians,” and mocking the elderly man as he cries (@nicholaaasli). The responses to the video are as follows:

@ughdoingthemost (Black man): “I meannn everyone is talking about the ‘I hate Asian’ comment but are we going to pretend that Asians like us either. I’m just asking”

@TowerTtv (white man): “Why does the background sounds, sound like the flying monkeys in wizard of oz?”

@empteaclouds (white woman): “there’s people who don’t care until it’s their own community lmao”

@KafirKafir4 (Black woman): “they’ve never seen anyone stand up for them so why tf would they give a shit about people who aren’t their own”

@empteaclouds: “then why should people care if the races were switched? everyone jumps to say yes to equality but as soon as it’s not their community who needs help they’re quiet”

These responses give insight into the ways in which imaginary conceptions of certain races interact with their viewing of the video. We see people are either siding with the harassers, the victim, or being racist towards the harassers and justifying it. What is interesting to note, is the way these people talk about themselves. Donald Moss states that people “hate as a part of a group, not in the first person singular, but first person plural” (xviii). We see this reflected in the responses. @ughdoingthemost’s comment brings forth the idea of how the claim, “I hate Asians,” is not just by that one Black man, but by a community, as he says that Asians don’t like “us” either. The “I” in the hate comment and “us” in @ughdoingthemost’s response is to be read as I = a man who belongs to a group who has been historically placed below Asians.

Furthermore, Moss claims that hatred seeks confirmatory evidence. We seek whatever will confirm the hatred and preconceived notions that already exists in our imaginary. Just as Fanon and Lacan has argued, spectators are seeing and looking for visual affirmation of what think they know to validate it as truth. @TowerTtv’s response and others who called the harassers animals, savages, and used this to justify their hatred towards Black Americans are examples of this. @TowerTtv as a White man, should not have a say in the video, especially when visually, there is no one he could immediately identify with. James Baldwin makes a point that a white man’s hatred is rooted in terror as opposed to the Black man’s hatred being rooted in rage (60). A hatred rooted in terror means the white man focuses on the entity that lives in his imaginary, in his mind — it is not something that can be easily eradicated, it lingers.The video allows him as a white man with the imagined violent Black man to align his imaginary with something tangible.

Identification

“the visual field is itself a racial formation, an episteme, hegemonic and forceful.”

— Judith Butler, Reading Rodney King, Reading Urban Uprising

Judith Butler’s chapter in Reading Rodney King, Reading Urban Uprising examines the role of identification in viewing the Rodney King beating video as something that fits into the narrative of white paranoia. In examining the role of identification, she explains the vital distinction between reading and seeing the visual. She attempts to understand how a video that so blatantly shows a helpless Black man being senselessly killed, was used to side with the white police instead of King. I argue that the ability to identify with the victim lies in the distinction between identification with and the identification of, and is also dependent on which perspective the video is being filmed from. Identifying with places the viewer in the position of Whiteness and White paranoia, whereas the dis-identification occurs when the viewer enacts an identification of the the non-white.

Examining this video utilizing Butler’s theory is a difficult task because critiquing the narrative in this video is not as clear cut as the Rodney King video. Nevertheless, using Butler to raise questions about the role of identification in a video that portrays Black on Asian crime is necessary. Unlike the Rodney King video, there aren’t as many options given to the viewer as to who to identify with. We are given the choice to identify with Grayson, the other harassers, or the Asian man. However, it is shown that Grayson and the other harassers share the same view point, as they all participate in the hate crime. This means that there are two figures with potential for identification and dis-identification.

As seen earlier, there are many comments from within the Black community that express something similar to @ughdoingthemost’s viewpoint. This perspective is likely attached to an identification with the Black harassers. Perhaps it is attributed to the long subjugation of racism not only by white people, but by the Asian community as well. As mentioned prior, Black Americans have faced countless cases of racism from the Asian community, all while Asians are labeled as model minorities. The identification with the Black harassers may not necessary stem from a place of racism or prejudice, rather, it could stem simply from an understanding that Asians have done the same. When the president of this country, even prior to COVID-19, has explicitly showcased his prejudice against the Chinese, it doesn’t help that the fear of the spread of the virus adds fuel to the fire. The identification with the harassers come with a fear of Asians as well as hatred of Asians for the Black community’s perceived whiteness that Asians possess. This identification, however, is based off an imaginary that Asians are inherently better off, equal to white, or that they all hate the Black community.

On the other end of the spectrum, there is an identification/dis-identification that takes place between white spectatorship and videos such as this one, that displays Black on Asian violence. Unlike the case of Black or Asian spectatorship that comes with the understanding of the racial tensions between a Black person to choose to identify with either the Asian man or the Black man, white spectatorship poses a complicated relationship with the video. @TowerTtv is an example of one type of identification/dis-identification that takes place. This type of white spectator identifies with the Asian man, while also dis-identifies with both the Black figures and Asian man through enacting the identification of their other-ness.

This type of white spectator identifies with the Asian man because he is more like the spectator. Erica Burman’s Fanon’s Lacan and The Traumatogenic Child explains the notion of epidermalization where there is a strong emphasis on visuality and an attention to identification from without (80). Firstly, the Asian man visually, is more relatable to the white man simply because the Asian man has lighter skin. Secondly, on a deeper level, there is a degree of the imaginary that involves the first narrative discussed prior: the one of the savage Black man.

The white spectator identifies with the Asian man’s fear and sadness of having this possessions taken from him by a group of Black men who mock his sadness, as if they are inherently vile. This white spectator does not see himself as the oppressor that stands above both racial groups. Instead, he sees himself in the Asian man that happens to be placed perfectly in what would be representative of the white paranoia Butler discusses. Unlike the Rodney King video, the spectator does not have to try so hard to view the Black body as violent and deserving of being beaten. This video maintains the existing imaginary of white paranoia by already having the Black man actually posing a threat to someone innocent.

The video of the Asian woman being harassed by a Black man while a white man stands up for the woman is a prime example of this type of identification. This video provides a clearer narrative and affirmation of the imaginary for the white spectator. An innocent woman, not a man, is attacked by the “savage” Black man. But there’s a bonus: we get to see a white man “save” this woman. The white man is praised for being an upstander while the other Black man sitting is criticized for being a bystander. In this case, the @TowerTtv type white spectator identifies with the white savior, and dis-identifies with both the Black and Asian figures. Of course, there are cases of white spectatorship that does not involve the perpetuation of the violent Black man narrative; however, regardless of whether the white spectator makes a racist comment against the Black body or not, he will not identify with the Black person.

Mis-recognition and Fantasy

“The industry is compelled, given the way it is built, to present to the American people a self-perpetuating fantasy of American life…To watch the TV screen for any length of time is to learn some really frightening things about the American sense of reality…[these images] weaken our ability to deal with the world as it is, ourselves as we are.”

— James Baldwin, I Am Not Your Negro

Why is there an abundance of these Black on Asian videos as opposed to white on Asian violence? More importantly, what is it about these Black on Asian violence that makes them more “popular” and trendy than white on Asian violence? Baldwin makes the observation that Americans feel the need to maintain a sense of normalcy and consistency between their imagined America and reality, and this is done through producing and reproducing certain images that are “designed not to trouble, but to reassure” (86). White Americans latch onto these images of people of color attacking and hating each other as a way to feel like white people are not the only bad guys and that their racist narrative of Black people is truthful. Simultaneously, non-white Americans view this widespread narrative that Black and Asians are always against each other, distracting them from larger, systemic practices that are pitting them against each other to begin with.

Through these videos, we see the classic stereotypes played out to reassure the historical narratives we all all familiar with. The Black uncivilized savage, the passive effeminate Asian, and the innocent heroic white man. While Baldwin is referencing the media industry and it’s preferential reproduction of the imaginary America unlike these hate crime documentation that is filmed by individuals, the essence is the same. In White Man’s Guilt, Baldwin states, “[white Americans] are dimly, or vividly aware that the history they have fed themselves is mainly a lie, but they do not know how to release themselves from it, and they suffer enormously” (723). White Americans’ lack of ability to deal with their own incoherence and guilt of a history they do not want to know or be responsible for creates a need for a form of disavowal. Thus, these videos where the victims of their systemic oppression are being cruel amongst each other provides some sense of comfort. They get to say, see, I’m not the racist, we’re not racist, even though as Moss suggests, hatred performs as a first person plural.

“I cannot go to a film without seeing myself. I wait for me.”

— Franz Fanon, Black Skin, White Mask

“The mirror sage is a drama whose internal thrust is precipitated from insufficiency to anticipation”

— Jacaque Lacan, Écrits: A Selection

“they seemed placed on the screen for me and for me alone…I [couldn’t] disassociate myself from the pleasures I was taking…I dreaded the newsreels, but wanted to see more”

— Donald Moss, Hating In The First Person Plural

We cannot accept the virality of this specific type of content to be random or by chance. There is an allure to these videos that depict violence between ethnic minorities. That allure is attributed to White Amerikka’s constant need to see themselves as whole. There’s a disconnect between what they see themselves as (the post-racist white man) and what they know to be true (the privileges they have and the continued systemic oppression of non-white communities), a fragmentation. These videos of Black on Asian crimes in light of the virus have performed in the same way Fanon seeks himself on the screen, the way Lacan describes the mirror stage as our repeated need to see an image to consume to feel whole, and the way Moss couldn’t stop looking at the newsreels due to the pleasure he received.

While white Americans seek these videos and take pleasure in them to reassure themselves, Black spectatorship on the side of the harassers involves satisfying a need for justice, to hurt the people who’ve hurt them, though that justice is served against the wrong person. Black spectatorship on the side of the Asian victim is perhaps a satiation of their need to be validated as a victim to historical violence in general. As for Asian spectatorship, perhaps it is similar to white spectatorship in the sense that they seek some need to justify their racist and colorist beliefs of Black people. Perhaps it is a way for them to satisfy a need to finally be seen as a victim, unlike the label of model minority suggests. Whatever the case, these videos provide an image in which each respective spectator sees themselves, and the reproduction and virality of these videos suggest that there is some sort of pleasure that is received from watching them.

Last Thoughts

In light of COVID-19, as fear of Asians turn into misdirected hatred, acts of hate-crimes are being increasingly documented. While these documentations are important to identify the perpetrator, I cannot help but feel discomfort knowing that most of the videos that circulate are of Black on Asian violence. It feels strange to not only feel empathetic towards Asian victims, but also towards the Black community for the slander that they will receive for participating in hate-crimes. Just as I find myself identifying with both the Black and Asian persons I see, these videos complicate the type of relationship different spectators have with what they are seeing. More than anything, it is crucial for us to remember to not be falsely swayed by the narrative these videos have the potential of disseminating. We cannot let these videos be possessed under the hands of white paranoia. Despite whatever racial tensions exist between Black and Asian Americans, the real perpetrator of injustices and inequality that displaces both communities is white Amerikkka, and that must never be forgotten.

#opinion

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eeee-lye · 7 years ago

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Last ramble before I do actual things, maybe:

Speaking as an autistic adult, I do not understand in the slightest why it is embarrassing for an adult to enjoy Doctor Who or Minecraft or My Little Pony. I do not understand why being passionate about something and finding connection with others is a bad thing. I really, truly do not understand this, speaking as someone who generally only easily talks to people with regards to a shared special interest or experience. I really do not understand why these things have been labelled “cringe culture” and why it took so long for people to understand the problems with this as a concept.

However, I really do not understand why the defense of these things has shifted to “it’s embarrassing, yes, but let kids enjoy things” or “it’s embarrassing, but cringe culture is pretty ableist, so maybe don’t” or “it’s embarrassing, but it isn’t hurting anyone, so let it go” or “it’s embarrassing, but it’s someone’s special interest”. I see this all the time, this absurd defense of something Tumblr has deemed inappropriate prefaced by the person seeking to support me claiming that this media is still embarrassing.

The idea that some forms of storytelling and fandom (in a world where nothing is pure and everything has faults that hurt some minority group, because all creators are hampered by one form of privilege or another) are acceptable to openly enjoy and some aren’t, even though neither is labelled as particularly venomous or dangerous, is so ridiculously arbitrary to me. So far, I’ve seen no defense of this that I can’t chalk up to “allistics once again making no sense”. I haven’t seen anyone explain why Minecraft is something no reasonable adult should touch. All I see is that fandoms and media often enjoyed by autistic adults get labelled “cringy”, and when people who are slightly aware of ableism realise that’s a bad thing to say, they shift to “it’s embarrassing but we’ll defend an autistic’s right to enjoy it”.

Thanks for your condescension, but if that’s your defense of my right to enjoy a property that allistics deem inappropriate for arbitrary allistic reasons (probably the fear of being mistaken for an autistic person, ableism), you can shove that defense where the sun doesn’t shine.

(I’m not talking about media that exists to damage, and I’m not saying that the media’s flaws and the ways it unintentionally hurts people shouldn’t be discussed, or that people aren’t justified in not consuming them and discussing this. I’m saying that I can’t see how Doctor Who is any more awful than whatever the current Tumblr TV show or game darling is, because there are few people in the world who are entirely lacking in some form of privilege and this shapes the media we consume. Stop requiring us to perform our activism about everything wrong with something in order to “acceptably” enjoy a TV show about a screwdriver-using time-travelling space magician.)

Autistic adults already deal with our disability aids and our coping mechanisms and our communication and our interests and our expression of emotion being deemed “childish” or “inappropriate”. I’ve been told I am embarrassing for my emotions and reactions and interests and needs by my family and friends more times than I can even count. We are continually and routinely infantilised, dismissed and belittled. Tell me, how are you not doing this here? How are you not contributing to a world where you are shoring up the fact that only autistics or kids can enjoy whatever it is that Tumblr has deemed unacceptable for adults?

When you call our interests “embarrassing” while seeking to defend us from those calling them “cringy”, how are you not as ableist?

Until you can shut down the idea of anything being cringe culture (or in fact the entire concept of cringe culture) without using words like “it’s embarrassing, but--”, you’re no ally of mine.

#actuallyautistic #autism things #autism #cringe culture #rants #sorry not sorry for the rant #long post #ableism #purity culture #it doesn't surprise me that I need to reference purity culture in discussing cringe culture #for the allistics

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trickstarbrave · 4 years ago

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I see some of my old posts abt this getting likes still so I did feel the need for whatever reason to post an update or rather restatement to my views on the topic

I know this is a horribly tired topic that was discoursed to hell and then left behind and for good reason so as a warning: ace discourse below

First and foremost I’m not in the business of telling ppl wholesale they don’t belong in the community. The vast majority of ace ppl are also other various lgbt identies and trying to “remove” people from the community is not a thing I’d ever advocate for nor have I really ever as far as I can remember. If I have in bad faith I would like to extend an apology bc I have bad memories problems and think those actions are wrong and harmful. If the consensus is ace ppl are lgbt then I’m not here to say everyone else is wrong and I’m the authority on lgbt identities. We are a coalition group, a mashing of communities w sometimes shared histories and experiences. Even if I think ace and aro ppl don’t have as many of those in common I don’t get to decide if they are or not. They are now and I’m more focused on making that work

Still though since it’s inception the ace community has not been a very healthy one. As at best a newer addition to the lgbt community being brought to light and given a label and community, the community has been toxic. Much of the foundational moments for identity were from the AVEN forums and a lot of harmful misogynistic, transphobic, homophobic, and ableist things were said on their and supported. This kind of behavior has continued well into the community even today.

This is not a moral judgment on asexuals or aromamtics. I’m aromantic. I was also subjected to these things. I always felt alienated from the community. Even when trying to engage behavior was half the time welcoming and understanding and half the time felt very hostile. I point this out because again: many asexuals and aromantics are other lgbt identies and this rhetoric is very harmful. It’s alienating. It makes you feel guiltier at times. Furthermore at times the community pressured ppl who did not have absolutely any desire for sex in any capacity to be okay with it, as though they were on the same level as people who liked and enjoyed sexual acts removed from sexual attraction to people. Sometimes it encouraged harassing people for saying having sex was a vital part of relationships for them and they felt incompatable with someone who was repulsed by sex and didn’t feel abstaining for a hypothetical ace partner would be healthy for either of them. Even more alarming was qpp’s, really originating from the aro community, spreading and simply being a tool for a while in many circles to coerce people into relationships who otherwise wouldn’t be okay with polyamory or were underaged. I’ve seen so much harm and been subjecting to it that I did have to (and still want to but avoid it for stress reasons) point this out. Even more alarming was during the discourse era seeing big name ace bloggers with large underaged followings bring on self admitted pedophiles to their blogs, and refusing to apologize when said pedophile admitted to sexually harassing minors. Lies were spread to demonize lesbians especially, and to a degree gay men as well, including that we steal funding we don’t need

As well (currently) the lgbt community hasn’t had the best resources to provide a good environment for ace and aro issues, and the ace community has not made it a priority in many spheres to curate those spaces either. As an aro sexual abuse victim there were many times I didn’t want to see public displays of affection or hear abt sexuality of any kind at times (despite not being ace) and I knew asking for those to cease in lgbt spaces would be harmful and come across as bigoted. Lgbt spaces are places to express your comfort in your identity and your relationships in the way cishet ppl can whenever they want to in society. Seeking out spaces without that just meant retreating and being alone. A curated space for aro and ace ppl would have removed tension I know many people have had and still do experience by providing refuge for sex and romance repulsed ace and aro ppl

I felt more boundaries would be beneficial, as while trans people are no doubt a part of the lgbt community (regardless of how many trabsphobes say we don’t belong), trans specific areas and communities still exist. Trans spaces where trans experiences are centered are a priority. The ace community regardless needs better spaces for ace people besides social media and Internet forums. It needs structure and accountability. It needs to unlearn harmful practices and bigotry that have run rampant for their own members’ sake, not for the sake of outside people to see validity in it.

And for a while, people who were otherwise cisgendered, heteroromantic and asexual would speak out in lgbt spaces about trans and gay issues because this is the “same community”. Cis gay men have no authority on lesbian, bi, or trans issues. Cis lesbians have no authority on gay men’s, bi, or trans issues. Cis heterosexual trans ppl shouldn’t talk abt lgbp issues w authority. Cishet ace and aro ppl shouldn’t talk those either. A lot of the hostility and early discourse was abt that, about those bloggers who very quickly left the discussions and website entirely in some cases, speaking about issues that shouldn’t concern them. About homophobia and how it should be treated or tolerated, using slurs they had no right using, and more. Even more alienating was ppl saying a character was ace rather than gay, and when pointed out they could be both it resulted in backlash as trying to take away ace representation, and then real human survivors of sexual abuse who were dead were framed as ace icons and ace representation while framing their discussions of their reactions to sexual abuse as “the ace experience”. Lies spread that ace conversion therapy was a thing and that doctors were going to hold you down and feed you medicine to make you want to have sex, terrifying many young bloggers on this website who genuinely believed and lived in fear of this happening until they were told it was misinformation and lies.

(Yes you can be sexually assaulted for being ace, yes victims of sexual abuse can as a result ID as ace or aro, that’s not what I’m arguing against in case somehow someone finds a way )

But from the other side I’ve seen and spoken out against people who just said bigoted things. Claiming there were too many gender and sexuality identities. I think the split attraction model is limited to ace and aro ppl to explain our identities more coherently and misapplying it to others only servers in the end to stigmatize various sexualities, but this went beyond that. For many people “grey” and “demi” modifiers are useful. I’m grey aro. My romantic feelings are complicated and inconsistent enough I think it’s not average. Sure to a degree “anyone” could be demi or aro and many ppl in the ace community have misattributed those modified identities to ppl who didn’t even fully explore how they felt, but they are not worthless. I can count to you how many times I’ve felt genuine romantic attraction, and I do not fully understand the intricacies of romantic attraction, nor the differences at time between platonic feelings in practice. I was mocked for my identity several times and saw people with identities like mine mocked. This was not a discussion of it these identities were harmful like claiming disassociating during sex was a normal sexual identity. At worst they are unnecessary.

I’ve been always more invested abt having a better community for ace and aro ppl bc that’s what I ultimately wanted. No, they didn’t have the messy intertwined history of other lgbt identities but also they didn’t have to be. Lgbt or not there wasn’t a space for ace and aro ppl I thought was really healthy. It was either they existed there in a group with other people with their issues being talked about or not at all. Ace pride colors were based on the at times toxic forum website AVEN. The aro community was often overlooked by ace ppl or at times actively thrown under the bus.

And lies and misinformation was still spread. Pieces of history incoherently being co-opted and misappropriated to seem legitimate. And to top it all off ace and aro specific oppression was incoherently discussed to. How different forms of oppression work together and often feed into each other or take new shapes was ignored. Studies were extremely limited in scope, loaded, and mostly inconclusive. Facets of misogyny and even homophobia were framed as ace exclusive and unique experiences, and people lied about real life discrimination for being ace (usually these were young people like the 15 y/o who claimed to have two gay dads who kicked her out for being ace, so I won’t dwell on those as much. Tumblr has been a weird website). Discussions of race especially were riddled w terrible behavior from white ace bloggers who resorted to lying, shaming, and guilt tripping. All this only serves to fan the flames and drive a wedge between communities even tho inclusionists claimed it was all evil exclusionists doing while refusing to call out the misinformation and bigotry they often spread. There was no purpose in harassing bloggers of color, no purpose in terrifying children so they lived in fear of medical professionals and most ppl, and no excuse.

Hopefully moving on from this it will truly die away, but I hope people learn from it. This wasn’t just as some ppl frame it cis gay and lesbian bloggers starting a harassment campaign to try and kick aces out on a large scale. This was a messy discussion that was years brewing until it exploded in even more vitriol, misinformation, and rage. It became an opportunity to critique an (albeit in comparison young) community for harmful behavior that was going unchecked and lead to even further bigotry, misinformation, and alienation. And the bigotry and misinformation didn’t serve a purpose and little understanding of what ace and aro people needed besides information and education to the public, which was already taking place before this, was had. And ultimately I expected more from the community at large.

To ace and aro followers and readers: I’ve seen some ugly parts of the community but I don’t necessarily demand you answer for that behavior, unless you’re personally guilt of it. I don’t say this because I have a mission to prove you’re bad. I think the community is toxic, but it will ultimately not get better unless ppl who are dedicated to it are willing to help find what resources ppl need, provide it, and refuse to encourage or call out shitty behavior. And ultimately that will come from a place of love and desire to create an environment future generations will feel welcomed in. I just don’t want other ace and aro kids being lied to about what they’ll experience, subjected to homophobia and transphobia of many colors, and at times groomed by adults. And I don’t want it based around just social media where anyone can lie abt credentials and act like an expert to further any of those horrible goals, even unintentionally

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sugarwaterradio · 5 years ago

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Can #DMX Pull off the Biggest Comeback in Hip-Hop History?

In the past three years, A Tribe Called Quest, Lil Wayne, and Little Brother have released long-awaited albums after various absences from the game. Can DMX — who has dealt with years of legal troubles and other demons — pull off his own comeback?

DMX recently told GQ magazine that he doesn’t set goals. He feels that his purpose is preordained by god. That mindset has helped him earn achievements at the top of many aspiring artist’s goal lists. He’s sold over 17 million records and starred in several major Hollywood films. During Def Jam Records’ late ‘90s renaissance, it was him — not JAY-Z — who was the label’s flagship artist. He’s done a world of good in his 48 years. He’s achieved all those things despite the kind of upbringing that would destroy a kid’s life before it started. He grew up with an abusive mother and spent his youth in and out of group homes (and later prison). The confluence of trauma that he experienced spurred a lifelong addiction to cocaine that derailed his career from the heights of stardom. DMX has been arrested over 30 times for charges ranging from gun and drug possession to animal cruelty and reckless driving, Since his rap career took off in 1998, his longest jail stint was the 10 months he just served for tax evasion. Prosecutors sought a five-year sentence for his deliberate tax circumvention from 2000-2005. But his lawyer Murray Richman played his redemptive “Slippin” record in court, and presiding Judge Jed Rakoff noted that “he couldn’t not be affected by the circumstances” X reflected on in the song. It was a testament to his artistry: his music is so poignant and heartrending that it tipped the unforgiving scales of justice in his favor. https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=148&v=9Ww-TQUeA3E “Slippin’s” hook affirms, “I gots to get up. Get me back on my feet so I can tear shit up.” And that’s exactly what DMX is trying to do in 2019. Since being released from jail in January, he’s re-signed to Def Jam Records and is working on new music that he says is “great.” The GQ photoshoot shows him looking healthier than he has in years. He’s been seen on social media dancing to Lisa Lisa and praying at Kanye’s Sunday Service. In the past three years, A Tribe Called Quest, Lil Wayne, and Little Brother have released long-awaited albums after various absences from the game. Can DMX do the same? A new DMX album — with the power of Def Jam’s machine behind him — would represent the biggest comeback ever. Lil Wayne had legal gripes with Birdman and Cash Money Records that delayed his Tha Carter V album, but he at least released the Free Weezy Album and ColleGrove with 2 Chainz in the meantime. DMX’s last major-label release was 2006’s Year Of The Dog…Again on Columbia Records. In that time, he’s been through numerous brushes with the law, and several public moments that made people question his peace of mind and overall health. READ: The Curious Case of Rapsody’s ‘Eve’ & Hip-Hop’s Contradictory Pedestal for Women From 2008 to 2011, he was arrested seven times, including charges of drug possession and violating drug probation. In 2009, he was charged with theft, drug-possession and animal-cruelty charges after a 2007 raid on his Arizona home and sentenced to 90 days in jail. In July 2010, he was arrested on a probation violation and sentenced to another 90 days in jail. Many of his subsequent brushes with the law have stemmed from drug possession and driving without a license, including multiple instances of driving under the influence. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ma45gH1Ry_Q In 2013, he made an infamous appearance on Iyanla Vanzant’s Fix My Life show in which he was combative with Vanzant and struggled to make a connection with his son Xavier, even grimly telling him “you’ll see me at my funeral.” At another jarring juncture, he broke down into tears while crying “mommy.” It appeared that he needed therapeutic help to mend the trauma that caused him to self-medicate. In a post-show open letter to DMX, Vanzant claimed that, “what I’m hearing is that they are just waiting for the call,” referring to his ex-wife Tashera and children’s fears that his drug use would eventually claim his life. At the time, DMX told TMZ that “Iyanla set the whole thing up to make me look bad for ratings,” and claimed, “that lady is toxic … My last words to her were that she can suck my dick and she still can.” The iconic MC has since had a change of heart. Vanzant claimed in January that DMX wrote to her, presumably from jail, seeking a chance for another episode. She admitted that, “I failed him by not following the Holy Spirit to do what I’m supposed to do … I did what production wanted.” While Iyanla has repeatedly been accused of exploiting Black trauma in the name of good TV, it also appears that DMX wasn’t ready to broach the issues of substance abuse and psychological trauma at the time. But he reportedly is now. His recent GQ interview exhibited clarity and reprioritization of his life. “Sometimes” jail is a place to find “solace,” he told Mark Anthony Green. Many 13th viewers were probably thrown for a loop when, in the interview, he surmised, “jail used to be fun,” but he also lamented that his most recent experience was the “hardest” of his numerous jail stints because he realized “there was so much more to life” than being confined. READ: Revisiting Dipset’s Complicated & Provocative Relationship with 9/11 In August, he re-proposed to his fiancee Desiree Lindstrom. DMX, who is a father of 15, told GQ that his youngest child, Exodus, is what makes him the happiest in life — along with music. “Performing in front of people is beyond a high…that any drug could duplicate,” he said. Those comments should be music to the ears of DMX fans who have been seeking a new original project since 2012’s Undisputed. Swizz Beats has been promising new DMX music since 2013. Unfortunately, there have been numerous obstacles in the way of a new album release. But it appears that now, more than any time this decade, X is dedicated to releasing new music. Last week, the video for his “Just In Case” collaboration with Swizz and Rick Ross was released. He sounded rejuvenated on the single from the Godfather of Harlem soundtrack, deeming himself “the plague” during a characteristically fiery rebuke of those who are ”either snitching or lying about the shit you done.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=--RTy_uobI8 DMX’s debut It’s Dark And Hell Is Hot album, specifically “Get At Me Dog,” was credited with smashing the mid-90’s shiny suit menagerie and reintroducing the rap mainstream to the grittier side of life. While it’s unlikely that X’s next work would have a similar scope of impact, he’s still a respected, much-needed voice to call out butt shit in the rap game. A new project would fill a void for fans seeking not just raw, New York-branded street rap, but the gripping, confessional explorations of spirituality that set him apart from most street-oriented rappers. No matter what the album sells, or how critics feel about it, the release is what matters most. A new album represents the release of whatever demons that led DMX astray from his life’s work of artistry for most of this decade. He might not know what his life’s purpose is, but there are millions of fans who, like him, are on a lifelong search to find meaning in their suffering. Seeing him overcome his trauma and sit atop the steeple one more time would be an affirmation that they can make similar strides in their life. That’s why a new X album would be more impactful than anything hip-hop’s ever experienced. Posted by: okayplayer.com freelance writer @andrejgee. Read the full article

#CanDMXPullofftheBiggestComebackinHip-HopHistory?

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btsreactionsandtexts · 8 years ago

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To: KPop Tumblr / From: An Angry Black Girl

WARNING: This is a RANT. If you don’t want to read this, or you don’t want to have to sit through my deepest disappointment and the annoyance that has been dwelling within me for the longest about this; please just scroll right past this and you will be a-okay.

- Admin Dayna

Okay so, I know I’ve mentioned before that I wanted to avoid the topics of racism and culture appropriation within K-Pop because the list goes on forever, and as a black girl with anxiety and depression, having to constantly speak up against these things get extremely tiring and weigh heavy on me. But the reason why I’m deciding to write about this now is because I’ve been seeing certain things floating around in the K-Pop side of tumblr that’s quite honestly being left untouched and I just… I really can’t sit back and let it not be known.

I want to first start off with my deepest concern for the constant validation black girls seek on tumblr about whether or not so-and-so or such-and-such Idol group likes black girls. We see videos on Tumblr and YouTube quite often of compilations of idols interacting with black girls, overthinking and overplaying said interactions/conversations and romanticizing it to gain some sort of self-worth from said videos. As if these girls need confirmation that they are beautiful and can be loved by anyone. Which really hurts because what other race of girls has to sit down and ask themselves if the person they’re interested in likes their race and not them, themselves. The only time that I see anything in regards of afro-fans within the K-Pop side of Tumblr is when the blog specifically caters to said race – which truly bothers me because then my race often times get sexualized in said blogs. We should be able to intermingle no matter what our races. POC girls are of the norms, bruh like tf?

Which leads me to this topic: Black Girls – or more so Black Culture – are used as props within K-Pop so often that when I try to express my distaste towards a certain idol or a certain music video, I get backlash for it from stans because they’re so blinded by either; A) The need to be loved and noticed by their biases despite the fact that their bias is using them as an object to enhance whatever aesthetic, concept, or audience they’re trying to appeal to, or B) the aggression or culture appropriation either doesn’t affect them or is so trivial (yet very wrong) that it ends up being dusted under the rug because “they don’t know better”.

But the thing is, some of these idols have been overseas, worked overseas, lived overseas, that they have been exposed to these things already, so the truth of the matter is, they do know better. So many idols have been called out for saying certain words (for example dropping the word nigga around as if they know what it’s like to be followed around a store just in case you decide to steal something, or to have an irrational fear of authority figures just in case they go ape shit and decide to shoot you unarmed) or carrying out certain actions (for example, painting their skin black and over drawing their lips, and pretending to know what it’s like to struggle out in these streets and use our means of coping – music – as a source of entertainment and costume). It is 2017, they have social media, and so many idols before them have made these mistakes before that there is just no fucking excuse anymore.

NONE.

What lead up to this rant was the fact that Jay-fucking-Park, took a revolutionary name brand and rode it out for his own fucking label. Jay Park has taken NWA (Niggas with Attitude) and turned it into his own NWA (New Wave Attitude) and I am incredibly pissed that he would do that because Jay Park SHOULD KNOW BETTER.

The entire purpose of Niggas with Attitude was to reclaim and expose the hardships, stereotypes, and struggles of black people who find themselves cornered and stuck in the ghettos that they were forced into, and explain to the mass audiences why black people are “always angry”. Why black people “always steal”. Why black people “always do drugs”. It’s because majority of us don’t have a choice. We don’t have the same resources and do not know anything beyond the struggles of the streets because we’ve been cornered and kept there all our lives.

Now here is Jay Park, a man who has been exposed to black culture, knows black people, love black people, taking such a powerful name brand and turning it into some whimsical ass whatever-the-fuck for the hype or the wave and shit – completely dismissing the historical importance of the original NWA in music.

This shit ain’t no fucking joke. This shit ain’t to be messed with, b. Gangsta rap, hip-hop – just rap in general isn’t a fucking game. It comes from starvation. It comes from self-hate. It comes from poverty, and degradation, and discrimination. Hip-Hop and Rap became what it is because black people were too broke to afford instruments and shit – we had to use our voices. Because music was all we got. From the slave trade to now! It ain’t shit for people to be twisting up for their own fun like this.

Put some respect on our names or get the fuck out!

Now we got people like fucking Keith Ape running around snatching up Atlanta’s trap music calling it “noisy rap”. We got fucking Taeyang saying “he wanna experience black people’s pain”. We got Jackson and Jooheon making a fucking fool of themselves (bless they souls man, don’t even come for me because Jooheon is my ultimate bias, y’all know this. i fucking love him and Jackson but they were wildin’) claiming that Jooheon is like “the Korean Kendrick Lamar”. Like the fuck they know about Kendrick Lamar? The fuck they know about “The Blacker the Berry, the Sweet the Juice”? The fuck they know about “Nagus to Niggas”? The fuck they know about “How Can I paint a picture, when the color blind is hanging you?”

What does Jay Park know about “Fuck the Police”?

Black people aren’t props.

Stop protecting y’all biases and get with the shits bruh.

Anyways, I hope y’all have a blessed day. Love you.

#I'm LIVID YO #yall think this shit is a joke out here bruh

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spectralarchers · 8 years ago

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Warnings for intense discussion of suicide, suicide attempts as well as means to suicide, and consequences of such. Please, stay safe if you read this, and please, do not trigger yourself by reading this if you are suicidal or mentally weakened.

I saw a post earlier this week, or last week, that discussed suicide and had an entire point in that ‘it isn’t a real suicide attempt unless someone knows about it and/or you get hospitalized or need medical help’. I can’t remember if it was a YouTube comment, a Facebook status, a tweet or something else because I go through so much crap on social media on a daily basis, but it pissed me off.

I waited until I sat in front of my laptop in order to adequately address this because I want this to be sort of eloquent / well worded instead of rage-smashing my keys on my phone.

A suicide attempt is a suicide attempt no matter the consequences, no matter how many people know about it, whether it be the person trying or doctors, nurses and family. One of the most fundamental things about a suicide, and a suicide attempt, is that it’s the most selfish response to distress one person can have - and I use selfish not in a condescending way, but because I don’t have any other word for it.

When someone is driven to the point of actively seeking out means to end their life, it doesn’t matter what the consequences is to label it as an attempt or not. There are attempts that are more tragic and acute than others, but dismissing the ‘less dramatic’ attempts on the sole basis that only one person knows about it is wrong and condescending, as well as ignorant. The simple and singlest feeling of despair, loneliness, pain and overwhelming emotion that pushes anyone to the brink of death, whether it be blades, pills, fire, hanging, jumping off or in front of- the mere fact that the action was taken is enough.

I’m not a professional mental health specialist, but even a basic wikipedia search states that a suicide attempt is “an attempt where a person tries to commit suicide but survives.“ It does not state the consequences other than survival. A suicide attempt is as such an act that is valid in itself, and dismissing it because no doctors, no psychiatrists, no families or friends were alerted of it is dismissing the pain of all those around you who have attempted but never told anyone about it, exactly because of that reaction.

I am one of those people. I know Wentworth Miller is one of those people, and he once said in an amazing, inspiring and wonderful speech about mental health that ‘you only cry for help if you believe there is help to cry for’ and that quote hit me in the deepest parts of my heart because of the truth in it. If the attempt is kept a secret for years, months, days, it means that there was no safe space, no way to find help, and so we kept it to ourselves because it had been our last resolution. A suicide attempt is always a last resort. There’s nothing else to it, it’s literally, and I hope nobody gets offended over my choice of words, but it’s literally go big or go home. You can succeed and it’s over, or you can fail, and live with that failure for the rest. of. your. life.

If the suicide attempt was carried out in secret, like it was my case, and like I no doubt know others did, it’s not because we want attention. It’s because we want to give up and because we don’t see any other way to deal with whatever we are dealing with at that point in time - of course, I don’t dismiss the serious attempts. Those that end in a hospital, in seeing someone, in things getting better or getting worse. They are valid, and I will never dismiss them.

But the fact that, somehow, it’s become engrained in people’s cultural and widened sense of mind that a suicide attempt has to be romanticized, shared, lived- and it’s so not true. Sometimes, it’s swallowing whatever pills you’ve managed to hoard over the past weeks and hoping, praying, begging for it to be enough. And when it isn’t, it’s waking up sick and drenched in sweat and playing it off as a stomach bug and staying home crying in your bed because even that didn’t work.

Imagine for a second, the effort it takes for someone to try and kill themselves without anyone else knowing. Whether it be hanging themselves and a handle breaking, not swallowing enough or the right kind of pills, not cutting deep enough or any other sort of means, and then seeing that monstrous, last breath and effort go wasted because it didn’t have the intended outcome, and have to come back from that wasteland and pretend, within a day or two, that nothing happened? How can you dismiss that emotional ride? How can you claim that because nobody knew, their experience wasn’t valid?

When someone does ‘come out’ - sorry for using a term usually restricted to sexuality, but I can’t find another metaphor for this - as having attempted suicide and failed, it’s an immense sense of trust and a leap of faith of their part because they’ve shared something immensely personal and sensitive to them with you. ‘Did you see a doctor? Did you go to the hospital?’ The questions only matter if you’re asking if they have any mental or physical scars that need taken care of - liver problems, breathing problems, scars that get infected, recurring suicidal thoughts, etc. - but if it’s a judgemental question asking whether or not it was a ‘real’ attempt or if they’re just saying this to you for attention, believe me... They’re not.

Suicide is one of the most tragic things that can possibly happen in the life of any person on this earth, and I would never, ever wish it on anyone. Seeing discrimination and dismantling survivors because they aren’t the real kind bothers me because I am one of those survivors who never told anyone until years after the incidents, and who barely talks about the more recent one because I am still so afraid to speak out. And it needs to stop.

A suicide attempt is defined by trying to end your life and failing. End of story. When someone shares their experience as a survivor, you shouldn’t judge them. You should offer them the helping hand they thought they were reaching out for.

PS: I want to emphasize this discussion especially now with “13 Reasons Why” on Netflix centering around a suicide having come out, it’s bound to show up and be taken up about whether or not suicide attempts are cries for attention. Be considerate and open-minded, a suicide is never something to play with.

If you need help, here are several online support websites that offer the option to chat if calling a help center is impossible for you: link 1, link 2, link 3.

If you are having a crisis and need calming down, try the Quiet Place which is an interactive place to calm your thoughts.

The Thoughts Room and the 90 second relaxation exercises can help you too.

If you need inspiration, or to cry tears of relief or joy instead of tears of sadness and desperation, watch this lovely spoken poem "Instructions For a Bad Day" by Shane Koyczan or this inspiring video by Shots of Awe called “We Don’t Cry Because We’re Sad” narrated by Jason Silva.

If you want a hit me up, try to listen to some Celtic Thunder - I find celtic music cheers me up when I need it to, but if you’re up for anything else, go find your Pick Me Up Playlist. If you don’t have one, make one! Believe me, hitting that playlist and replacing sad songs with motivating ones (Disney songs count!) will change your mood instantly.

If you are crying or want to cry, go release those emotions you’ve got bottled up. You’ll feel better, but remember to drink a whole glass of water to hydrate yourself again and try to eat something after. You will feel better, because Remus Lupin was absolutely right.

Now go be wonderful, my sweethearts. You’re wonderful, loved and I’m proud of you.

#suicide tw #suicide //#suicide warning #suicide attempt tw #suicide attempt //#suicide mention #suicide attempt #mental health #mental illness #words

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topweeklyupdate · 8 years ago

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TØP Weekly Update #27: Setting Chart Records and Playing Jenga (2/26/17)

This week wasn’t heavy on shows, but regardless still full of great moments with the fans and a bunch of really good interviews. Let’s get into everything.

This Week’s TØPics:

Performance/Interview Recaps from Across America

Look Ahead at Upcoming Shows in the Southeast US

Yet Another Chart Record Secured; Can “HeavyDirtySoul” Help Extend Their Run?

Major News and Announcements:

Really wasn’t any major news, announcements, or releases of any kind this week. ...Moving on!

Performances, Interviews, and Other Shenanigans:

The tour keeps moving quickly across the U.S. without any major changes to the setlist. The show in Tulsa ended with a pretty fantastic Trees Speech and had Good Guy Josh meet up backstage with a young fan and his dad who had their show experience disrupted by a drunk fan in the pit. The Dallas show was located at a major venue and was thus heavily attended by some major members of the online Clique (some of who got the chance to Facetime with the boys from the front of the line thanks to a sweet radio station). Tyler told the Birmingham show that he was writing a new song right before going up onstage, and he promised the crowd at Greensboro that the fans, not media or critics, are at the front of his mind right now.

In addition to that, we also got a bunch of pretty great interviews, which I tried to collect all of here. Please, let me know if I missed any. Or if you exist and are reading this. I get lonely.

Fresno, Dunno the Station

This was filmed with a potato (not my joke). Also, 95% sure the mic isn’t real/turned on.

The dude takes his pants off, which starts out kinda awkward, but he keeps going, so respect.

Also respect the guy for asking a really good question: namely, what the guys think about the ideal relationship between music and politics. It’s a genuinely thoughtfully put question, because it opens up that conversation without forcing them to start out taking a stance, and I really appreciate that. Josh says that he sees music as a canvas where people can say whatever they want, and any message should be permitted to be put on that platform, additionally pointing out that music is subjective and that different songs/artists can affect people in different ways. Tyler gives an answer that raises such a good point and is so characteristically Tyler that I’m just going to put it here in full.

“We’ve learned that audiences, fans, and, really, big groups of people, are a lot smarter than some people give them credit for as far as being able to tell if someone is being authentic, being able to tell whether or not it’s a cause that you actually wake up in the morning and worry about and actually live and die by. There’s definitely those artists that can get up there and you can smell it, that this is why they’re here, and you can appreciate that. On the other side, you can also tell when someone is just tapping into what’s hot and what’s going to get them the most traction in that moment. We’re very aware of how smart audiences are; it started with us just playing to rooms of people and realizing “We’re not going to trick these people, so let’s just be us.” We know who we are, we know what we want to say, we know why we make music, and it’s just never been politically charged for us because we’re focusing on something so much more introspective. It’s about us working through what we’re working through as an individual, and as much as we respect those people who are really wanting to change the world and have a social stance, for us it’s exhausting enough to just be working on ourselves. Hopefully, that’s what our music is encouraging, because that can also bring about a lot of change.”

The interviewer asks the name question, but only because of an audience poll (he looked up the answer).

Las Vegas, Mix 94.1, The Jenga Interview:

This is an interesting interview just because of the format- they face each other in Jenga and are asked questions based on the number on the blocks- which makes it entertaining to watch even when the questions aren’t the most interesting or original.

Tyler’s favorite ice cream flavor is vanilla (of course); he tries to defend himself by saying that he likes to add stuff to it, but we know the truth...

When asked favorite superhero, you can tell Tyler’s brain just goes completely blank- he says Ant-Man without having even seen the movie.

When in Vegas, Josh prefers tables to slots.

Tyler believes that the most famous person in his phone is either Josh or Matt Bellamy, who he only met last week.

They still haven’t received their real Grammy.

Tyler would like to bring Abraham Lincoln back from the dead to be their bass player.

Tyler wins the game on a dumb technicality with the biggest poop eating grin. His reward: a Taco Bell gift card that he agrees to share with his fren. I cry.

Las Vegas, 107.5:

First question is about fashion: Tyler’s bolo tie, specifically (I dig this interviewer, really chill, deliberate about asking unique questions).

The next question is about their time off when they’re done touring- Tyler says that he’s looking forward to doing nothing, but that he also is aware of the possibility that, after five years of constant touring, he might not even like to sit still anymore. Josh admits to almost being scared of what the time off might be like (me too, pal).

Josh says he’s assembling a list of places like the Great Wall and the Pyramids that he wants to visit but will have to be deliberate about seeking out due to their distance from the standard touring circles. Tyler points out that he basically wants to just visit things he thinks were built by aliens; Josh confirms.

The interviewer, in Tyler’s own words, hits exactly on the head Tyler’s personal thoughts and concerns about the next album: “You guys wrote a great, amazing piece of art that resonated and connected with a ton of people, and there’s going to be pressure from management, record labels, radio, fans, to make another commercial success like that. Can you block that out and just say ‘I’m gonna make art no matter what’?” Tyler responds that he’s trying to navigate the voices, and is both comforted and panicked by the fact that ultimately it’s their decisions that will drive the project forward.

Tyler on songwriting: “If you hit a wall, you can write about hitting that wall. There’s always something to say.”

The interviewer suggests that they could stage a feud after the next album to secure their place as a stadium band. Tyler likes the idea a lot, but Josh just gets worried that they’ll have a real fight and no one will believe them.

Tulsa, 92.1 The Beat:

Tyler and Josh both really turn against the idea behind a question about awkward fan encounters in a really heartwarming way. “We don’t want to throw anyone under the bus,” says Tyler, who says that he totally understands, from meeting people they look up to, the weird flow of interactions when encountering someone who you imagined as larger than life yet felt like you knew very personally from what they revealed in their music. Josh gets even more positive about it, talking about all of the amazing art he’s seen from people in their community that really puts them on an equal level. (I love these nice boys.)

When asked if they would ever collab with a fan on something, Josh says that they already basically have with Andy last week. I cry.

Tyler’s "guilty” pleasure is Fergie; Josh’s is Katy Perry who he loves and wants to let know that he “is super, SUPER single”.

Nathan Fast, Dallas:

Tyler hopes that the folks in line are remembering to get hydrated (it’s important, kid).

Josh says that they’re lucky that they’re both on different cycles of sadness (MY HEART) because it helps them to keep each other encouraged and energized. He also claims that Tyler gives him “a big hug” when he’s feeling down (help me), but that Tyler isn’t big on hugging otherwise, so Josh has to substitute it with a Red Bull. I can’t with this friendship.

Taking their pants off “was super punk rock”, in Josh’s words. They both took off their shoes and belt ahead of time, and had to figure out last minute to take their pants with them so that they weren’t stuck pantsless backstage. “Gotta think ahead.”

Kidd Kradick, Dallas:

Tyler and Josh deliberately avoided eye-contact during their Grammy speech.

Josh jokes that he keeps in shape by eating a lot of cookies, but more seriously says that they actually have had to be more deliberate about exercising when not on-tour in order to maintain the same level of physicality, especially as they start to get older.

They talk a bit about how they were both aware of each other’s existence in Columbus long before they formally met, which helped them to mesh more easily.

Tyler is lowkey jealous of Josh’s iPad gift from Mark Hoppus, but the interviewer comforts him by pointing out that Mark probably only got it so that Josh wouldn’t get lonely now that Tyler’s married. #trufacts

Chart Performance:

Bringing back this segment just for this week for two very specific reasons: “Heathens” has now set the record for the most weeks a song has spent at Number One on the Billboard Rock Charts, surpassing the former record-holder, Walk the Moon’s “Shut Up and Dance” and expanding the band’s record streak of dominating the chart with what has now been sixty weeks with a song at #1. It should be noted, however, that this is not as big an accomplishment as a lot of publications have been suggesting; rock has only had its own chart since 2009, well after the end of the genre’s dominance of the music industry, and that’s not even getting into the discussion of whether Twenty One Pilots is even really a “rock” band.

The other sales accomplishment from this week is that “HeavyDirtySoul” has picked up enough airplay to sneak onto Billboard’s “Bubbling Under” chart at #25. While this is pretty cool, it doesn’t mean that the song is a hit just yet. We’ll get into that topic more in BLIND SPECULATION OF THE WEEK later.

Upcoming Shows:

This week’s shows will cover most of the American Southeast, home to an especially passionate music community but also a region that’s had a lot of economic struggles and not a ton of major sports teams outside of college campuses. Some of these venues really depend on concerts to keep the lights on. Let’s give them a look and some appreciation.

Show 28: North Charleston Coliseum, North Charleston, South Carolina, 2/26

Capacity: 12,600

Tonight’s show is only the first this week to take place in an independent municipality cut out of the north of a larger Southern city. Remarkably, this will be Twenty One Pilots’ first ever trip to the state of South Carolina. Charleston is a pretty renowned cultural center in the South, so the crowd should be hopping.

The North Charleston Coliseum hosts a minor league hockey team, the South Carolina Stingray, and the occasional local college game. ...It’s cool, I guess.

Show 29: Amalie Arena, Tampa, Florida, 2/28

Capacity: 21,500

The tour then pushes further south to the west coast of Florida. Though the band hasn’t visited the city in quite awhile, they have a pretty extensive history with Tampa, as laid out by this nifty article. Their first of what will now be twenty-eight shows in Florida was in Tampa; it’s pretty nifty that they will be wrapping up this album cycle in the city.

The Amalie Arena is another NHL arena used by the Tampa Bay Lightning. ...Cool.

Show 30: Smoothie King Center, New Orleans, Louisiana, 3/2

Capacity: 17,800

Next stop: New Orleans! Remarkably, this will only be the second show played in Louisiana, the last one being a festival show at Voodoo Fest way back in 2014. Giving Tyler and Josh an excuse to visit one of the most musical places in the world and possibly get inspired for the next album is also not a bad thing.

The Smoothie King Center is maybe the second-worst/best name of an arena I’ve ever heard (Dunkin Donuts in Providence still takes the cake). Located right next to the NFL Saints Superdome and itself hosting the NBA Pelicans, this will give a lot of fans their first opportunity to see the band in any setting- that’s pretty darn rad.

Show 31: Verizon Arena, North Little Rock, Arkansas, 3/3

Capacity: 18,000

Here’s the second “North” city, cut out of the capital of the great state of Ar-Kansas. This will be the second TØP show in Arkansas, the first being just this last year in the city of Rogers in the northwest corner of the state. New markets are always a good thing.

The Verizon Arena is a venue that’s been hurting a little bit in recent years, as its lost all of its sports teams and has been forced to rely on trade shows, rodeos, and, of course, concerts. Glad TØP’s helping to keep the lights running.

Show 32: FedEx Forum, Memphis, Tennessee, 3/4

Capacity: 19,000

The penultimate stop for the tour will be in the capital of Tennessee, the tenth TØP concert in that state, though this is the first one in Memphis since before the release of Blurryface (Nashville and Bonnaroo tend to dominate concert attraction in the state). Of course, Memphis is still a big music city- I’m pretty sure we can expect “Can’t Help Falling In Love” with you at this show.

FedEx Forum, so named due to Memphis’ position as a FedEx transport hub, is home of both the NBA Grizzlies and the basketball program of the University of Memphis.

BLIND SPECULATION OF THE WEEK:

So, we mentioned before that “HDS” made it onto the Bubbling Under chart at #25. That doesn’t mean that the song is #125 in America; rather, the Bubbling Under chart only lists songs that have yet to reach the Hot 100, meaning that their are potentially dozens of songs that are doing better than it that only are not on the Bubbling Under chart because they got pushed back from a former position. As such, “HeavyDirtySoul” doesn’t just have to get enough airplay pickup in the coming weeks to pass 25 songs, more like 50- and that’s not even counting all of the additional tracks that will be released in the coming weeks that will only further push it back.

And it will have to be mostly pop radio airplay driving it; Twenty One Pilots has been known well enough for long enough that everyone who’s buying that two-year old track has probably done so already (the rush to buy was why “Cancer” was able to chart its first week- “HDS” lacks that), and it’s going to need popular exposure to get any more streams than its already received (any gains it received in that category from fans rushing to the music video are now gone). Does “HDS” have that potential for popular appeal? I honestly don’t think so- but I didn’t think “Stressed Out” did, either. *shrug* We’ll see.

Power to the local dreamer.

|-/

#twenty one pilots #tyler joseph #josh dun #emotional roadshow #heathens #heavydirtysoul #top weekly update

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