#and by the time they realise it's not love anymore the other person gave up long ago and were just letting themselves be dragged along

[snixx]

fucking taylor swift dropping a song written about things I've been feeling and pushing away for months but wording it in a way that feels like she was reading my mind and making me feel over something i thought i was over...yet again 👍🏼

[toast-on-dandelioms]

Hello, I really a fans of your work and always waiting for the updates. I have a question, what happen if Y/n just ignore the batfam as Y/n also turn to superfam becoming their family. It also assuming Alfred A-Okay with it. Oh, also Y/n might be have relationship with one of the superboys and she love to cuddle with the lover. Well, that's just my wild imagination thinking about.

Oh well, I hope you have great days.❤️😘

Thank you for liking my work! If you're asking for part 4, it will come out soon and probably by the end of next week!

Well, I don't think Alfred would be totally a-okay with this and after a bit he would act to 'fix' the situation.

He wants you to stay at the Manor and be appreciated too by the Batfam even though they don't even know you exist.

He has tried before, talking about you to Bruce and the others but they always dismissed him with the excuse of being busy or forgetting about you the next day.

And seeing you giving up on being with your real family and finding love in another family that actually accepts you and he can't accept that.

You're supposed to be with him as the rest of the Waynes not with some alien family.

He would act like he supports you whenever you come to visit him since you mostly live with the Kents nowadays and come to the Manor to grab the things you needed since you were moving your stuff from the Manor to the Kents house.

After a while you start to come home, to come back to him even less before you just visit him maybe once a month before it turns into no more visiting him since you're busy with school, dance classes and the vigilante role you still have.

And Alfred hates it so he decides that he can't stand to watch his boys obsess over your vigilante persona when they can't even bother to notice you weren't living in the Manor anymore.

So he decides to call a family meeting without your knowledge and explains everything, who you were behind the mask and how dissapointed and ashamed that the people he raised didn't even acknowledge that you existed.

Their reaction, which were mostly of confusion before realisation bothered him but he stayed silent and used their reaction to manipulate them, make them think you weren't in the right place with the Kent family.

And after a week from that meeting, you started to receive texts from all the batfam and also kept seeing them everywhere, with Bruce at school or when you were patrolling the city.

He would always try to talk to you, which you ignored or gave him the finger while swinging away, preferring to not engage in his tries to connect with you.

Plus he would show up at your dance recitals when you never said anything to Alfred about them and he would always be right in first row with a smug smile since he knew you couldn't do anything.

Plus you already knew they knew who you were behind the mask, they said your name when you had your mask on so many times you wanted to punch their faces.

You had to skip a few days of school because Tim and Damian started to show up at your same highschool and sitting next to you in class, to which no one would say anything and it frustrated you since highschool was one of your safe places but not anymore.

You tried to ignore Dick and Jason's attempts at stalking you, not because it was noticeable since you never saw them but the spider sense made you aware you were being watched and after a bit you were able to notice them following you.

Yes you did feel proud since you didn't have any detective training like the others but still knew who was following just by using the things around you.

You vented your frustrations with Clark and Conner and they did help by letting you skip school and everything but you had to go back to school or it would affect your attendance and damage your reputation and curriculum for future colleges applications.

But one fateful day, you went to a mission with Conner and Clark since they needed a third person but couldn't bring Jon since he was busy with school, so you went in his place.

During the mission you got ambushed, Conner and Clark were at disadvantage since the attackers (not sure on the term, the people that attacks) somehow had kryptonite weapons.

Plus you were also fighting, using the tasers and also the objects around you like rocks or trees.

Yes, you did throw a tree at a group of them and you also got Clark telling you not to do it again. Did you listen though? No.

As you were fighting you suddenly got stung by something in the leg, and when you touched the spot where it hurt you saw a small dart there.

You opened your mouth to call for Clark or Conner but someone covered your mouth and held you as you fainted while Clark and Conner had to flee since the attackers were too strong with the kryptonite.

The last thing you saw was the smiling face of Dick before completely giving in the drug you got injected in your body, not hearing them fight about who was gonna carry you in the batmobile.

[samcvrpenters]

word count:  1.7k+

pairing:  joe goldberg x fem! reader x love quinn

summary:  ever since the married couple set eyes on you, they both knew that they wanted you for themselves. but, sharing is caring, right?

warnings:  obsession, mentions of sexual content, murder, gore, drugging

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

they first set eyes on you when you walked into sherry’s and cary’s. they had set a party up— mainly for themselves but also for love and joe, and it was more of a congratulations for the birth of henry. they were a little more self-absorbed than others, but joe and love pulled it together in order to stay. after all, this was for henry.

maybe it was something a little unexpected, the fact that there would be so many people there. but it gave them a chance to analyse. more for joe, anyway. he always believed love never truly took in the picture in front of her, which would eventually be the couple’s downfall.

love had actually seen you first. you were in the bathroom, touching up your makeup for the party. you had this beautiful dress on, and love almost couldn’t take her eyes off you. you were simply that stunning— and she almost felt guilty when having those feelings. but then she remembered the whole situation with natalie and she couldn’t find herself caring anymore about what joe thought.

you two got into a rather explicit conversation. you were mainly laughing about the relationship between sherry and cary and how sherry often did her own thing. but it didn’t really matter to you. the only thing that mattered was that you were having a good time. and so was love. 

shortly after the conversation, you excused yourself to go and meet your husband. what the hell were you doing married? you had no reason to be married. she had already declared to herself that you belonged to her. 

as your hand slid around his hip and grasped gently at his blazer with your left hand, joe had finally took sight of you. honestly, you must have been the most beautiful thing he had ever seen before. and he was already flaming with jealousy by the time he watched your lips lock with the person that you were married to. 

he had no reason to be jealous. he shouldn’t even be thinking about you like that in the first place. he was happily married (well, that was up for discussion), and he knew that love would act up if he even locked eyes with you for more than a second. but once she had walked out of the bathroom with her eyes still fixed on your body, joe came to a realisation.

she was just like him.

which meant that whatever joe did, love was most likely to do too. they were both fixated on you already, their infatuation running like a train— directly to the destination which could only be you.

he took her to the side to talk to her. at first, he sounded confrontational and almost annoyed. but with each word that came out of his mouth, he sounded more and more peaceful as his eyes kept flickering towards you. towards the way you ran your hand delicately across your husband’s chest.

“she’s stunning, isn’t she?” love’s comment came almost as quickly as his argument came along, causing him to halt with the comments he was making. of course she had spotted his small glances at you. he was quite obvious. and she had experienced it firsthand before. 

joe wasn’t sure what to say. his hand was placed firmly on love’s side, veins so evident as he gently rubbed at it. of course he had to act like he actually cared about her— even though it was quite the opposite. he hated her for what she was, even if that was an exact replica of himself. but he had to at least act like it.

“get her away from her husband.” joe’s voice is raspy in the ear of his wife, his back turned towards you so that he would be able to whisper freely into her ear without anyone overhearing.

love immediately took to the role as the distraction. she approached you, greeting you with a smile on her face. she was always the extroverted one out of the pair of them, so she had no problem just approaching you like this. she gently took your hand and led you away from him, pulling you to where the drinks were.

she raises the glass to your lips and allows you to drink out of it, letting you sip gently at the liquid inside of it before pulling it away. “nice?” she questions with a hum, her hand still placed on your arm. the physical touch was so much to her. 

“so nice.” your voice is so perfect. so beautiful. you sound like an angel. cliche, she knows. but you’re exactly like that. an angel. you’ve been sent down from the heavens to satisfy her needs and to give her an actual opportunity with her husband to do something they both agree on. 

she can already imagine those nights with you.

your back would be pushed against the wall, her hands roaming up and down her body and her fingernails scratching gently at your skin. maybe she could make you bleed if she was lucky. her tongue would run down the flesh and gently lick up what she had caused, her tongue aching for more of that metallic taste since it was you.

she would hoist you up onto the counter of her kitchen, pushing that lovely little dress you were  wearing up to your hips and above your waist and allowing her lips to touch your inner thighs— those love bites making such a scene for her and joe whenever they would want more of you. they would treat you so well. so much better than that pathetic excuse of a husband.

talking about that husband, joe was certainly doing his job well. his charm was coming through unbelievably fast and was almost so convincing. he wanted him to leave the party so that he could deal with him properly.

he had never acted so fast with murder in his life. but he would be willing to do it for you. he would be willing to stab. to slash. to shoot.

he wanted, so badly, to pull the man to the side and instantly carve out his heart. maybe he would use the knife that he knew was right in the middle of that knife block in sherry and cary’s kitchen. maybe he would dig the blade into the flesh of his chest and push and push until he managed to gently prick the organ that could only feel.

he’d maybe take the liberty of carving out his skin first. he could already imagine it. the blood would be horrific. all over the place, and he would messily detach the heart from any of the veins and arteries and instantly burn it.

he would give anything for that.

but of course, the world didn’t work that way, as your husband just shrugged his comments off and told him that you would have to be off soon.

he didn’t want that to happen. no, he wanted him to be done with. he wanted to shatter that man’s stupid hopes and dreams by ending them and then just fuck you a minute later. maybe that was too much to ask for, but he wanted it.

he could only stand there as your husband dismissed him, before he ended up walking back over to you and love. he introduced himself and then told you that the man over there was looking for you. you nod and smile, and allow yourself to walk back over to him, but not before commenting that it was nice to meet them both.

joe and love would have to plan. 

planning was never a big deal to joe, but to love? it would be different. she never really planned anything out. she wasn’t really that careful with anything but she was willing to listen to her husband to get you. they agreed to share you. after all, it was bringing them closer together. 

she heard that you and… what even was his name? was it alex? she was sure that his name was alex. she heard that you and alex were going on vacation soon. 

so, joe was the one who went over there and mercilessly slashed the tires of the man’s car. he wouldn’t let you leave— there was no way. so much more could happen during that time you were away and he couldn’t let you slip away.

alex told you that he would go out and walk to get a courtesy car— after all, the town was quite small and you wouldn’t necessarily mind if that was the case. you hummed and kissed him on the cheek, waving sweetly at him as he left the house.

you heard a knock on the door almost a few minutes later, revealing love with a box of cupcakes and whatnot. you let her in with a small smile on your face, and she lets you lead her to the table to munch on those sweet desserts. food was definitely bringing the two of you closer together.

joe never had an issue with following people. so following the man that was so stuck to you? not a big deal in the slightest.

he lets himself walk faster as he passes one of the cameras in the town, before pulling alex into the next alley where he was sure there were absolutely no cameras in the slightest and letting himself stab the man in the chest. just like he imagined.

he knew he would have to deal with the body, so he pulls out a small can of gasoline and sprinkles it over the man, before pulling out the lighter and gently setting fire to the body. he makes sure to pull the knife away and keep it stashed in his pocket— all stained with blood. he couldn’t leave any evidence behind. it would just be a random mugging that would end with arson. 

and meanwhile?

that small poison that love had planted into the cake was beginning to make its way through into your body.

what did you expect?

they were so obsessed with you. 

[hariboz]

“forget? you?” — shb x gen!reader

a little something i wrote to get back into my writing flow!

ex!hanbin has been plaguing my mind for a while now. the type to make the heart wrenching decision to break up with you to follow his dreams in hopes of finding what he wanted in the spotlight, ready to sacrifice the comfort of your embrace to chase what he has been dreaming of for years.

“thank you for always being by my side, but i don’t know if i can be happy if i don’t try one last time. i don’t want to break your heart, angel, but will you let me go?”

and you did. of course you did, how could you not? you could always see the sparkle in his eyes when he showed you a new choreography he made, the longing in his gaze when watching others dance on the same stages he could only dream of being on. you knew he was happy with you, you knew he loved you. he was happy, loved and comfortable, yet unfulfilled. because while you would give him every single star in the night sky if you could, no amount of your love would sustain his desire to become the shiniest star of them all himself.

so you let him go, gave him your blessing and told him to better make it to the top so your love was not given up in vain.

you had never seen hanbin cry so much before.

“i promise, angel. i’ll carry you with me in my heart.”

and truth be told, ex!hanbin held his promise. he made it. a leader, a highly sought after visual, a mc, a vocalist.

he’s not your binnie anymore. he’s not the one waking up an hour before your alarm to make you breakfast anymore. he’s not picking you up from work with that sweet smile and a smoothie in his hand. he doesn’t try to teach you his choreos anymore. he doesn’t giggle at you while fixing your hair anymore.

on days where it’s especially hard you catch yourself wishing you had refused, had kept him close to you. had begged him to stay back, to not sacrifice all the serene happiness you shared; but then you snap back to reality, the realisation that these selfish thoughts keep crawling their way up making you feel guilty.

it’s a sick twist of fate, you think, when you happen to walk past a wall of support ads for him plastered along your way. you don’t know whether to laugh or cry; whether you should be elated he is receiving an amount of love you could never have given him or whether you should be hurt and bitter that all this meant more to him than you seemingly ever did.

it’s not fair to compare like that, you know that, but it’s not like he’s there to defend himself. he’s never there anymore.

in your inner frenzy, the internal fight between wanting to support the man you still love oh so deeply and the selfish wish to have kept him for yourself, you bump into someone, misty eyes barely focused enough to notice the person in front of you.

you look up briefly to apologise, wanting nothing more than to get away from this overstimulating throwback to your better times, only to realise that the devil — angel — himself is standing right there.

right there, in front of you. sung hanbin. your binnie.

you know it’s him immediately despite the mask he’s wearing. the all too familiar sparkle in his eyes and his pretty lashes that you know all too well blinking back at you in shock, his eyes desperately darting over your face in an attempt to drink in every little change and detail.

you’re just about to speak when he turns at the sound of his name, which is when you finally realise the crowd standing not too far away, observing him like hawks and pointing their phones at him.

right. he’s idol binnie now.

so you bow politely and leave, trying your best to manoeuvre through the crowd. your heart is beating in your ears, your thoughts all jumbled and confused. you haven’t seen him in so long. not in person, anyways, and now you’re running away? what else could you have done?

it’s like you’re on autopilot, not even noticing you’ve made your way back home until you’re stood in front of your apartment. it’s then when you’re about to unlock your door, planning to crawl into bed and never come back out, that your phone vibrates.

first once, then twice.

“i don’t know if you want to talk to me anymore, but i was happy to see you today. even if it was really short.”

“i miss you.”

“you didn’t forget?”

“forget? you?”

“i could never. i love you.”

”did you ever think about dating an idol?”

ex!hanbin who, i think, would give it all up to follow his dream only to realise every single version of his future had you in it. and now he’s here, trying to win you back, hoping it’s not too late. because ex!hanbin is not only a romantic, but also in love. deeply, unabashedly in love.

[vivwritesfics]

I have an idea!! Hufflepuff!Lando but with scary Slytherin!Gf privileges Or Slytherin!Max with Hufflepuff!Gf who has scary dog privileges

You have in a Harry potter x f1 chokehold

-🐮

(when i reopen my inbox i'd loooove for more of these requests) (also, for anybody called ingrid im sorry)

YOU GET BOTH!! Starting with the max one:

Jos Verstappen was infamous in the wizarding world. He'd killed an insane number of witches and wizards and tried to kill little Charles Leclerc, the chosen one. But Charles was the reason that Jos had lost all of his power.

One day after this, Charles started Hogwarts at the same time as Max Verstappen, the son of the man that had killed his parents.

Max's welcome into Hogwarts was as expected. They fucking hated him and they weren't shy of hiding it. For his first few years at the school it sucked, but Max got used to it. Let them hate him, he realised. He couldn't give less of a shit.

But there was one person that didn't hate him. She didn't treat him like the monster his father was, the monster he probably was too. She made him feel ordinary, normal. And he loved it.

He loved her.

She skipped into the hall without much of a care, typical Hufflepuff of her. She didn't got to her table, didn't join those at her house table. Instead she went over to the Slytherin table. The other Slytherins didn't much like it, but Max didn't care. If his girl wanted to sit with him, she would.

Nobody would dare stand up to him.

"Hey, Maxie," she said as she slipped into the seat beside him. She kissed his cheek and began reaching for food.

Max wrapped his arm around her and kissed the top of her head. "Are you watching the match tomorrow?" He asked her as she began eating.

She nodded her head and swallowed her food. "Can I borrow your scarf?" She asked. There was no way she was missing a chance to watch Max and Charles race each other for the snitch on the quidditch pitch.

"Of course," Max said and kissed the top of her head again.

They ate together before she had to run off for herbology and Max had charms. She ran after Lando Norris as she saw him walking off and linked her arm through his. "Bob," she said as they headed off to herbology.

"Ingrid." Her name wasn't Ingrid, just like his name wasn't Bob. But they were just their silly little names for each other. "How is the Slytherin boyf?"

She gave him an unimpressed look. "Boyfriend, not boyf," she said as he led the way. "He's okay, though. He's looking forward to the match tomorrow."

"Has anybody given you anymore shit for being with him?" He asked and she rolled her eyes.

"They always give me shit, Lan," she muttered as they walked into Professor Vowles class. "Don't say anything to Max. He'd only lose his shit."

And he would lose his shit if he knew that other students still harassed her for dating him. He'd seen it once before, and he had lost his shit. It was enough to scare the other students away, especially when he was around.

But then when Max wasn't around, the bullying started up again. It fucking sucked, but she tried to not let it get to her.

And then one day, Max saw it.

She was sat on the fountain, waiting for him when they approached. A group of slightly younger Gryffindors. They hated Max more than anybody. "Oh look," one of them shouted. "It's the Verstappen shagger."

She ignored them, turned the other way to look for Max. "Oh, come on, sweetheart," the one at the front of the pack shouted after her. "Just admit it."

"Admit what?" She found herself spitting.

"Admit that you're with him because you're scared of him."

Suddenly, her fist flew out, striking the first Gryffindor on the cheek. "Fuck," she gasped, immediately pulling her knuckles into her chest, cradling them. The Gryffindor stumbled back, clearly surprised.

This was the bit that Max saw. He walked out of the castle just in time to see her fist make contact with the Gryffindor. Instantly Max ran over. "Hey!" He shouted, his voice deep. The Gryffindors immediately looked over, their eyes going wide. "Get the fuck away from her!" He shouted.

The began to scarper, but Max chased after them. "Max! Wait!" She cried as she grabbed a hold of his robes.

He was practically foaming it at the mouth as he turned to her and wrapped his arms around her. "I hate them," he seethed as he pressed his nose against her hair. "I hate all of them."

"It's okay, Maxie," she whispered as she reached up to run her hands through his hair. "Don't give them any more fuel."

She felt him relax against her. But he kept his arms wrapped around her, squeezing her tight. "They all expect me to be like him that they won't give me a chance to be myself. What if they're right, though? What if I'm destined to be a monster like him?"

"Maxie," she whispered and moved out from beneath her. But she still kept his arms around her. "You're not him and you'll never be him," she said. "You're Max. My big, scary, Slytherin boyfriend Max."

[afterglowkatie]

pair of pests: missing you ˏˋ°•*⁀ steph catley x catley!reader, short fic/blurb

steph catley x catley!reader | 1.1k | based off of this ask

ˏˋ°•*⁀ just a little warning that it involves like themes of grief/grieving and the mentions of a loss of a loved one

You were in your mid teens when your dad passed away. It was hard on you, it was hard on your whole family. But you all stuck together and gave each other the support you all needed. Specifically your older sister had been there for you, fulfilling her older sister duties. You gave what you could give back to Steph, though the age difference meant that she could support you more than you could give to her. 

Eventually everyone had to go back on with their own lives. Part of you felt stuck, since your sister wasn’t around all that much focusing on her career and playing overseas a few years, you’d grown quite close with your dad. You’d had a close bond, he had been supporting your youth career in football since Steph had less time to spend with you and less time to support you, though you know she was doing her best and you’d never fault Steph.

You tried to move on, continue with school and youth football, but everything had been associated quite heavily with your dad. The drive to training wasn’t the same, your mum tried but you couldn’t stop thinking about the endless car karaoke you’d have with your dad on the way. Whenever you’d get stuck with your homework you’d forget and go to find your dad before you’d have the sudden realisation that you couldn’t do that anymore. You’d never forget the late nights where your dad wouldn’t stop til he was able to help you with anything you couldn’t understand.

Steph did her best to help you through it, but it was hard when you stopped opening up to her until the night before her surgery when you broke down scared that something would happen and you’d lose her as well. Every year since, you always had a hard time around the anniversary of his passing. Even if you didn’t realise the date was coming up, your body knew and would send you into a spiral. Your stomach constantly felt heavy and nauseous all the time. Your mood always dropped, even if you didn’t notice it, but you’d go quiet and barely interact with anyone other than Steph or your mum.

This year was no different. In fact it was a lot harder. You had properly started playing football with your older sister at the same club. It was a dream that you’d always talked to your dad about, it had turned into both yours and your dads dream to see it happen one day. Though back then you didn’t know that it would ever happen and you didn’t know that if it did, he wouldn’t even get to see it.

Steph, being focused with the upcoming olympics and thoughts of captaining her country through it, she’d been distracted and not noticed that time of year was fast approaching. She only realised when she noticed you’d always seek Steph out, especially during training, glued to her side. Any other time you’d be out annoying Mini alongside Kyra and Charli.

You’d been a part of the world cup squad the year before, so the team were quite aware of how you react this time of year. They all kept a bit of space around you, not pushing you to interact as much, but they did little things to try to cheer you up and make it easier for you. The teammates you were close with at club level would send you little messages throughout the days. You appreciated the efforts your national and club teammates would go to for you.

Steph was really the only person who could make you feel better. She was your sister and in a way it felt like she was the closest connection you still had to your dad, ‘You doing okay?’ Your sister asked while she pulled you into her room and into her arms. You couldn’t sleep and had found your way to the room your sister was staying in.

You didn’t actually reply, knowing that if you spoke the walls you had up would break down and you’d crumble. Not something you really wanted to happen. Part of you felt silly for still feeling and reacting this way. It’d been years now and you felt that you should’ve found a way to cope that wasn’t disconnecting from everyone around you. Truth was you lost your dad young and had to grow up a bit faster than you should’ve and no one would blame you for how you’re reacting. No one but yourself.

Instead of talking, you tightly wrapped your arms around Steph, hiding your face in her neck. Steph could feel how tense you were and your silence spoke louder than any words could’ve. Your older sister understood you and you couldn’t be more thankful, ‘Can we watch a movie? One of his favourites?’ 

Steph knew the right movie to put on that would bring you some sense of comfort. Slipping into her bed, pulling you so you were lying cuddled against her side. Your head met Steph’s shoulder and her hand gently rubbed the top of your arm. It was peaceful, it was comforting. If you pretended hard enough you were a kid again watching movies in your childhood home on a little mini couch that you and your older sister shared while you’d fight with your older brother claiming he was stealing all your popcorn, with your parents on the main couch watching on with amused expressions. Time was cruel.

‘He’d be proud of you, of both of us. You know that right? Especially you. The amount of times he’d end up talking about you whenever we’d call,’ Steph smiled softly, breaking the silence half-way through the movie. She knows what you’re like and doesn’t want you to get too lost in your own thoughts, the older sister nature to protect you and help you deal with things in a more healthy way.

‘When I was little, when you’d first moved overseas to play,’ Your voice was quiet and soft, but loud enough that Steph could hear you. You’d turned a little so you were looking at your sister, ‘I’d always tell dad that my dream was to play in a big club with you. One that wasn’t in Australia. Every night I’d make him wish on the stars for it to happen,’ You smiled softly remembering all the times you’d drag your dad to the window, right before bedtime, looking up at the stars and wishing for your one biggest dream to come true, ‘I think he made sure it happened,’ Tears welled in both your eyes at the thought. You’d always say it was written in the stars that you were playing with Steph at Arsenal now. But now Steph understood the deeper meaning to your words.

[sv5hive]

all's well that ends well | lh44

pairing: lewis hamilton x fem!reader

content warning(s): suggestive content? (like one little comment nothing outrageous

word count: 2,107

note: this is a part two to this fic! thank you to the anon who gave me the idea otherwise i would have been stuck for ages!! so happy so many of you enjoyed it and i hope you enjoy this one just as much 😚🫶🏻

(masterlist!)

you let out a shallow sigh as you gently pushed the door closed with a click. last night's fight had plagued your mind and haunted your dreams meaning you had gotten almost no sleep at all. you just wanted to get all your stuff and find a small place to rent while you looked for a more permanent place to stay.

but lewis had other plans.

"hey, baby-"

"don't call me that, lewis. i thought i made it clear last night that it was over. i thought i also made it clear that i didn't want to see you again."

"ok, ok. i'm sorry. i just, i know i fucked up. but i can make it right again. i promise."

"like how you promised we would have a normal life together? i don't want to wait anymore, lewis. i told you this already. now please, let me just get my stuff and leave."

"no, just, just hear me out on this. i can't imagine how you felt while waiting for me to finally catch up to what you realised a long time ago. but i have been in love with you since the day i met you and if i let you walk away again i would never be able to live with myself."

despite what you had said earlier, you didn't hate him. and lewis could see you weighing up the idea in your head.

"saying it is but proving it is another. otherwise your apology means nothing."

"ok. yeah, ok i can do that."

he grinned at the possibility of winning you over.

"but, i need space. so, i will be getting my stuff and leaving."

"wait! you can stay here. i'll go, it's only fair."

"don't be silly, lewis. i still have my hotel room booked don't worry about it."

"no, no, please stay here. this house is yours as much as it is mine. don't worry, i can find somewhere else to stay. i know how you get sleeping in a bed that's not yours."

he knew you too well.

"ok. uhm, thank you, lewis."

"you don't need to thank me. i'll see you soon?."

"ok, yeah. see you soon."

you thought sleeping in your own bed would help you get a good night's rest but you seemed to toss and turn for hours on end. looking to your left, the digital clock on the bedside table screamed some unreasonable time in blinding red. you huffed before realising that maybe it wasn't just the bed. after all, all those years you slept in this bed you weren't sleeping alone. eventually, you did manage to fall asleep at some ungodly hour after scrolling on your phone mindlessly. but not without pondering how lewis was planning to change your mind.

the next morning you were awoken by a knock at the door. rolling your eyes, you readied yourself to turn lewis away but instead you were met with a bouquet of flowers on the doorstep. you peeked your head out to see if the person who dropped it off was still around but it was like they had disappeared into thin air. bringing the bouquet to the kitchen to place in a vase your eyes caught notice of a note gently tucked into the leaves.

thank you for giving me a second chance. you won't regret it.

he was making it hard to stay mad at him. you pulled out your phone and sent him a quick text.

thanks for the flowers.

anything for you. and i meant what i said.

read 9:26 am

humming along to the radio, you plated up your lunch and made your way to sit at the counter to eat. the recent weather had been unusually pleasant with the sun shining all day, and you thought about going for a run outside when a text popped up on your phone.

do you have any plans tonight? it read.

you debated lying to him but you had already finished with your work that day and you found yourself wanting to see him again after a little bit more than a week of being apart. you typed out your reply after a couple of seconds.

depends. what do you have planned?

it's a surprise.

you grinned.

i'll pick you up at 6.

oh and can you wear that black dress again? the backless one?

read 12:46 pm

you felt your face go warm at the reminder of what happened the last time you wore that number. god damn it. no matter what he would always have that effect on you. looks like you had something to look forward to tonight.

you smoothed away imaginary wrinkles while obsessively checking your entire appearance over in the mirror. it felt like you were doing too much but then again, you had to show lewis what he would be losing out on if he couldn't convince you. before you could check the time there was a knock at the door.

you calmed yourself down and opened the door to come face to face with lewis.

lewis swore he felt his world stop spinning.

"you- wow. you look...as beautiful as ever. seriously, why were you ever dating me?" he eventually managed to get out, audibly breathless.

your giggles filled the air as you hoped your makeup meant he couldn't see your entire face going red.

"you look, ok." you were lying straight through your teeth. he could make a trash bag look like a designer outfit and you both knew it. he found it funny enough to let out a chuckle though so maybe it was the right move.

"oh and uh, these are for you." as he remembered the bouquet of baby's breath, white chrysanthemums and blue hyacinth in his hands that he painstakingly put together himself.

"oh they're lovely. thank you. i'll just go put these in a vase and we can go."

he couldn't mess this up now. not again.

"ok, do you plan on telling me where we're going now or is it still a surprise?" you asked locking the front door and heading towards the car.

he opened the passenger door for you as you got in.

"y'know there's a saying that goes something along the lines of 'good things come to those who wait'. you ever heard of that one?" he retorted before getting behind the wheel.

"hmmm, i don't know. doesn't really ring any bells for me."

"that's too bad because i'm still not telling you."

"fine, be that way."

he looked over at you staring out the window refusing to spare him so much as a glance. you always have been a stubborn one he thought. shaking his head with a smirk, he began driving.

you were definitely surprised when you two arrived at the restaurant you raved about months ago - you didn't think he had been fully paying attention while getting ready for bed. now sat down at the secluded booth, you couldn't help but grin at the fact while in awe of the decor. all lewis could do was admire the pure joy and glee present on your face.

"what? why are you looking at me like that?"

"like what?"

"y'know, like that."

"i don't know what you're talking about."

all the other patrons must have been irritated by the way you two couldn't stop chatting and laughing as the bottle of wine dwindled down over several courses of delicious food. but if it meant he could see you so happy after everything he put you through he was ready to pay for them all to leave.

"so i've been thinking, and, i'm ready to take the next step with you. don't worry, i'm not about to get down on one knee right now, but i just thought you should know."

"what changed your mind?"

"i should've listened to you but instead i was an idiot and i let you leave. i'm sorry for that. and everything else. i guess seeing you walk out really brought me to my senses."

"yeah? well i'm glad it did."

"and i am absolutely ready to retire and start a family with you-"

"what?" you almost spat out your wine.

"i've thought about it and i want a family with you more than anything."

"no, lewis, i won't let you do that. you love racing. you said it yourself it's your whole life!"

"not anymore. i want to be there for you and i can't do that if i'm away driving every weekend."

"i can travel while pregnant, lewis. i'd follow you until i am physically unable to and we would be waiting for you until you come back home. i know how much racing means to you and i will always support you. besides, wouldn't you love to have your kid cheer you on in the garage?"

you two were cheekily grinning now at the prospect. he couldn't believe how lucky he was to find you.

"are you sure? it's not going to be easy."

"yes, of course i am. i've been sure for years, lewis. you were the one who wasn't ready."

his smile faltered a little as he wished he could go back in time and tell himself to get his act together. he couldn't change the past but he was damn well going to change your future together.

"ok."

"ok."

to everyone else in the restaurant, it seemed like a normal date, but if lewis kept his word then it meant the start of a completely new chapter in your relationship.

"you ready for this?" you were in awe of the man stood in front of you.

"more than ready."

"stay safe, ok? we want you back in one piece."

"of course. anything for my two favourite girls."

he placed a kiss on your forehead before taking the toddler from your arms.

"you ready to see daddy race? hmm?"

lewis nuzzled his nose against hers and placed gentle kisses all over her face, prompting an endless symphony of infectious giggles.

he had been absolutely petrified when you told him you were pregnant. he wanted nothing more than a family with you but babysitting nieces and nephews was very different to having your own child. even after all the baby books, birthing classes and packing dozens of hospital bags, lewis still almost passed out when your water broke. and if you weren't in excruciating pain due to your rapidly growing contractions, you would have teased him for his panic.

soon enough, his daughter was placed into his arms for the first time and all of a sudden there was nothing to be anxious about. he could still visualise the moment perfectly and yet somehow failed to describe just how he felt looking at the little one's face. she was the perfect mixture of the two of you.

"i'm so proud of you, my love. you know that right?"

season after season, he was left fighting in the midfield when he was finally given a championship contending car to restore his former glory. it was clear to everyone that lewis was more motivated than ever and that he just needed a car good enough to take him back up to the top step. all the late night meetings and simulator runs had finally paid off, as the legendary eighth world championship was won just a few races ago.

now, as you helped him prepare for his final race in formula one, you looked fondly back on the beginning of your relationship. you had everything you always dreamed of and you wouldn't trade it for the world.

"i couldn't disappoint my biggest supporters!"

"even if you didn't win we would still be your biggest supporters! isn't that right, my sweet girl?" you tickled your daughter as she curled back into lewis' neck to evade your hands.

"thank you."

you looked back at him with furrowed brows while fussing over the toddler.

"what for?"

"for everything. for taking me back, for making me the happiest man in the universe. twice, by the way."

you beamed from ear to ear at the reminder of the wedding that awaited you next year. he had proposed to you just before you found out you were pregnant and it felt like your life was falling into place at last. studying his face, you felt content knowing that you were truly meant for each other. nothing else mattered more than what lied ahead of you and you couldn't wait to experience it with the man you had fallen in love with years ago.

"i would do it all over again in a heart beat."

note: omg. it's literally 1 am but i had to finish this before my random streak of motivation ran out. i didn't think so many people would want a part 2 like i was so shocked at how many people enjoyed part 1!! never thought i'd get 10 notes let alone 100+ you are all tooooo kind 🥹

[zhonglisbeloved]

wheres the ayato smut im eating my own hand rn

CLAN HEAD AYATO & HIS FAVOURITE MAID <3

I didn't realise how much you all liked that idea? (crying rn). I'm not really satisfied with this but it's been a while since I've written something this long :') @komelrebi-san hi my love Kamisato Ayato x fem! reader (his pov?) WARNINGS: NSFW, mentions of marking, tummy bulge

the day was finally here, the announcement of the young Kamisato Ayato taking over as the head of the Kamisato Clan. The blue haired bachelor shouldered many responsibilities now, most obligatory annoyances, and some just annoyances that would take time to subside; like the ladies from other clans oggling him and begging to be married to him. He had spent his entire celebratory feast swarmed by partner clans and such and being gawked at by the ladies, it was uncomfortable to say the least but all these feelings of unease vanished when his eyes landed on the newly appointed maid, (name). oh she was beautiful, gorgeous, so innocent yet so otherworldly he swore he had fallen in love then and there. he wasn't someone who didn't have needs but he was also someone who hadn't had sex, he was a proper man, a reserved man. but seeing (name) had lit a fire in him, the next thing he knew he was asking the head maid to appoint her as his own personal maid. she was to only attend to him and no one else. of course as the head of the clan his word was valued and the changes were made immediately, after his shower that night he called for her. (name), I need your assistance, he told her as soon as she entered. the clan heads are given a special service by their personal maid on the day of their taking up the position his eyes roamed over her body, taking in the curves and the dips as he said so, watching her innocently nod. how can I fulfil my duties? she answered dutifully. he bit back a smirk and cleared his throat strip. his order was simple and direct, and (name), who had no idea that the so called "tradition" was made up, obeyed. she felt the heat rise to her cheeks as she nodded and stripped out of her clothes, standing bare before him and clenching her thighs in hopes of satiating the growing wetness. she was innocent yet not unknown to sexual desires. he practically eye fucked her as he took off his robe, exposing himself and his huge girthy cock that was hard and stood tall.

he pushed her to lay down on the bed and spread her legs, eagerly taking in her wet pussy, fuck you're so pretty (name) he groaned, his cock twitching as he pressed a soft kiss to her lips, another to the column of her throat, down the valley of her breasts, to her soft tummy and then finally, a lingering kiss to her swollen, needy clit. she whimpered softly, n-ngh master her whiney voice ringing in his ears as he felt himself get drunk off her essence and sweet smell.

he practically buried his face in her wet cunt, slurping and licking at her juices. he sucked on her clit and nibbled on it before thrusting his tongue in that tight hole, groaning against her pussy and sending waves of pleasure over her. she moaned and whimpered absolutely lost in the pleasure he gave her when he fucked her with his tongue and rubbed her clit with his thumb. s-sir- please- 's so good don't stop she begged as tears welled up in her eyes, how could anyone humanely eat her out so good that she was already seeing stars.

he made her cum on and in his face twice before sitting up and positioning himself between her legs, his cock head pressing against her clit as he slapped it on her pussy a few times before sliding it teasingly against her slit. p-please- put it in she begged, looking up at him with teary eyes and tears running down her cheeks as she spread her legs wider and spread her pussy lips using her two fingers master please 'm begging you- wan' your cock so bad I can't take it anymore a soft sob escaped those pretty glossy lips as she bucked her hips, trying to get him to enter that needy cunt while all he did was chuckle at her feeble attempts, slapping her cunt once. twice. thrice. patience is a virtue my dear he leaned down and purred in her ear, pressing a chaste kiss to the lobe before kissing her lips. he bit her lower lip and his tongue entered her wet cavern, claiming her mouth as his own.

he was mean. so mean, kissing her like he owned her, rubbing up against her, and groping her, marking her body with hickeys and love bites but not pushing his cock in her cunt. this went on for almost half an hour before his patience snapped, seeing her all marked up and begging him through soft sobs like a little bitch in heat. he growled lowly pushing his hard, throbbing cock in her cunt and moaning as her warm and tight walls enveloped his big cock. mnghp- so big master!! you'll split me in half he wasn't even half way in and she was already scratching his back complaining about how big he was. shh pretty, he cooed, you gotta take it okay? gonna be good f'me and fulfil your duties right? he whispered in a loving tone as he pushed in further until he was completely sheathed in her, the tip of cock kissing her cervix. y-yes master she whined, her tummy had a small bulge because of his cock. his eyes darkened and he was overtaken by a primal need to mark her with his cum as he saw the bulge. he pressed down on it and started moving; slow, deliberate thrusts at first which gradually became feral and uncontrolled as he drilled his cock into her sobbing pussy relentlessly.

his hands pinned hers above her head as he fucked her filthy, making out messily with her and marking her up more until she was screaming his name and cumming all over him again and again, overstimulated to heavenly extents. he came inside her again and again, marking her with his hot seed, filling her up and making a mess of her.

that night perhaps the entire Kamisato household learned that their reserved clan head was insatiable when he truly wanted something.

[bella-goths-wife]

How alec, Johnny and Jane court Cullen reader

Warnings: obsessive behaviour, possessive behaviour, oblivious reader, inexperienced reader, mentions of abuse from Cullens

Alec:

Alec has to be subtle about his affections and intentions with you

Your ‘family’ already hate him, they have since the day Edward was introduced to the volturi and could report to the Cullens every thought alec has had of you

His courting had to remain subtle for his forbidden flower, for his sweet Juliet to his Romeo

He found that at first his best option for being close to you was ask for a dance at one of the balls that the volturi threw for the introductions of new members of big time clans

These balls were for the most part mandatory, meaning your family couldn’t just lock you away and you could spend time with other vampires with minimal fear

Alec would walk to to you with one of the volturi kings next to him so that If you accepted a dance with him, they could distract the Cullens long enough for Alec to slip the two of you onto the ballroom floor

He never was one for dancing before you, coming from a poor village in the medieval times he never really had to learn

Even after joining the volturi, he copied basic moves whenever he had to dance with someone for the sake of politeness

But after meeting you and realising that you came from a different time period to him, he begged some of the female volturi members to teach him some steps to dances from your time

He tried to master them but sometimes you still have to correct him, to which he’ll claim that you must be seeing things to save himself embarrassment

He also tried to learn courting culture from your time, but he never could do with all the politeness from it

He preferred being improper with you, it gave him the opportunity to see the real you

So he’d sneak up to your room after the Cullens locked you up for the night

He’d sneak through the window and the two of you would spend the night talking and laughing together, considering neither of you needed to sleep

It made him feel closer to you, made him feel special to have that time with you

He knew that no one else had that experience with you, and that made his worries of you being taken from him

He’s done everything in his power to make sure the vampire clans know that he has claim on you and is courting you, he’s seen the newer clans looking at you like a piece of meat and he thought it best to show who you belong to

If any others try and intrude on your time together, they’ll be hissed at viciously and the volturi kings will be told of the interference to their plan to match you with either Alec or Jane

His last act of devotion to you was to swear you that he will free you from the Cullens grasp, and you can only pray he’s truthful

Jane:

Jane isn’t the most loving person

She struggles to express most emotions, but showing her adoration and love is the hardest

So she tries to court you in more practical ways, such as acts of service

Anything that you need doing, she will have the task completed by sundown

Your struggling to find clothes because the Cullens only give you childish clothes? Jane had handmade clothes tailored to match and compliment your body type and skin colour and she leaves them in your room for you

You’re thirsty but you don’t have any blood to feed with? Jane killed a human for you two to share during your teatime

She even asks for it to be baked into pastry’s even though neither of you can digest food anymore so you both end up coughing it up

You need entertainment while you’re locked away in your room? Jane will sit outside your door and read your favourite books and poems to you and keep you entertained

She also tries to work on her physical affection for you

She offers you an arm when you walk together through the garden at night, she places her hand over yours when you need comforting, she will place small kisses on your hand when greeting you in private

These are all things she never thought she’d be comfortable with until she met you, so she’s slowly improving in private

When she’s feeling extra possessive, she will cover you head to toe in her signature scent either by spraying you with perfume or briefly holding you and rubbing her cheek against your neck

This means she can put a subtle claim on you to show that you are hers and that anyone who tries to touch you will feel the wrath of her painful stare

Her final act of devotion from when she saw you last was swearing to free you from the Cullens so the two of you could stay near each other forever

She does all of this and yet your still completely oblivious to the affections her and her twin hold for you

Johnny (post meeting you)

Johnnys methods of courting is mainly just trying to help you discover more of yourself and help you separate your identity from the one forced upon you by the Cullens

I suppose it would fall under the category of quality time as he will spend hours upon hours with you helping you learn a new skill or remember an old memory

He helps you acclimate to the more modern parts of society that the Cullens never taught you about, such as dating culture and party culture

He tries to find things for the two of you to do that he thinks you’ll enjoy the most

An example of this is him taking you to a petting zoo and letting you control all the cute animals because it made you feel better then hunting with the Cullens

He also used his power to his advantage and he will shape his shadows to make shadowy animal figures for you to admire

He will also get very secretly proud of himself every time he sees you’ve enjoyed yourself doing an activity he chose out

He’s also very big into PDA as he’s less afraid of what the Cullens will do to him

He’s always got an arm around your shoulders or waist when you walk or he’s holding your hand as you talk to each other

But always with permission, he understands that you can have a slight touch Phobia because of your time with the Cullens

He was also raised as a lord, so all of his courting will subconsciously be very gentlemanly despite his playful and rough persona

So that means the sidewalk rule is being obeyed, he’s always taking your arm when you walk together and he’s always generally acting with honour and decency

He’ll do all this and you’ll still swear that he hates you though

Thoughts guys? 😭

[sillysistersusi]

Craving Warmth

Fandom: Baldur's Gate

Astarion x Tav

Summary: Astarion doesn't know how to ask Tav to cuddle with him. Their relationship is still fresh, and he hasn't gotten used to the idea that she could love him for more than his body.

Warnings: Just the usual Astarion trauma

A/N: I recently discovered Bg3 and lets just say I'm addicted... 😅 I did only watch other people play it, though, since I have no money to buy it myself right now. But I hope I will be able to in the future.

Tav's chest rose and fell as she inhaled gently. Astarion had realised early on how much he enjoyed watching her sleep. She seemed so peaceful, as if nothing painful had ever happened to her. And every time he looked at her like that, he could forget all the pain deep inside of him for a brief moment.

But recently it was no longer enough just to watch her sleep. He wanted to touch her, press his face into the crook of her neck and breathe in her scent. He wanted her to touch him, stroke his back or run a hand through his hair.

He wanted to feel her warmth on his skin, feel her warm sleepy breath on his face. But he didn't know why.

They had made love only a few hours ago, why did he want to be close to her again? And why didn't he feel the slightest desire to touch her breasts or lose himself in her heat?

Astarion did not feel the same desire as usual. He wanted her body to press against his, not to make love, but to feel her warmth. He just didn't understand why he would want something like that. They already told each other that they loved each other, they had sex, that was all that loving was about. Why did he want her to stroke his hair or lie on top of him and surround him completely with her warmth without him wanting to take her?

Tav already gave him so much, why did he want more? Why should he want more? It wasn't fair, now he had something to live for, someone to live for, he became selfish.

She certainly wouldn't be so happy if she knew about all his thoughts. About the desire to bury his face in her shoulder when he felt the need to cry. About how he sometimes dreamed of what it would be like if she gently washed his hair. Those were strange thoughts. Thoughts that he had never thought before.

He should just sleep, he knew that, but whenever he closed his eyes and no longer saw her, he was enveloped in a fear he hadn't realised he could feel. He wanted her to be near him. He wanted to feel that Tav was there. That he was not alone, because he was so afraid of that. Thoughts of the darkness in which he had been alone for so long came up when he closed his eyes. Memories of the blood on his hands and the pain in a heart that had long ago stopped beating.

He needed Tav, because he felt safe with her. Secure. As if he could forget the last two hundred years if only she held him tight enough.

Astarion reached out a hand and placed it on the back of one of her hands, which lay stretched out next to her sleeping body.

Her skin was so soft and felt more soothing than anything else. But it wasn't enough. He wanted to feel more of her, and he knew that was wrong. He should be satisfied with what he had and not be so greedy. That Tav wanted anything from him at all was a miracle in itself. After all, he was used and dirty and broken. He'd liked to cover it up at first, but now that they were together he couldn't push those thoughts back down anymore. So many hands had touched his body that he never wanted to feel on him. On so many evenings when all he wanted was to be held by another person. Even though there was no one who would have liked him enough to hug him back then. He had been alone.

Until now.

Now he had Tav, and feeling her warmth was enough to not feel alone anymore. Her hands on his skin wiped away the unwanted touches of the others that made him feel unclean. But when she wasn't touching him, it felt like his skin was covered in a layer of dirt. As if he could feel every handprint on his skin that didn't come from her, that wasn't wanted.

Tav had never touched him when he didn't ask her to, so why did he want her touch so much now.

And because Astarion couldn't control himself, he moved closer to her. If he had had a beating heart, it would have been pounding like crazy.

He stopped an inch before he actually touched her and only leant his forehead lightly against her shoulder.

But what now? He couldn't stay like this for the rest of the night. He was too afraid she would wake up before him and see him like this.

"Astarion?"

His heart sank. He had woken her. And only because he couldn't pull himself together. Why did he always have to think only of himself? He had managed without the warmth of another person for so long, so why hadn't he managed it this one night?

"I'm sorry- "

But at the same moment, she said with a worried undertone in her voice: "You're all shivering, are you all right, Astarion?"

And when he looked up, he saw only concern in her face, not anger. He was expecting anger. He had done something wrong. He had gone too far. Tav should be angry.

His vision blurred, but he swallowed most of his tears. But it was too late, Tav had seen the gleam in his eyes, for her gaze softened even more.

"What happened?" she breathed softly, and the sound of her voice alone was enough to increase Astarion's desire to be held in her arms.

He wanted to lie. Tell her it was nothing and that she should go back to sleep, but he knew Tav wouldn't believe him and wouldn't rest until she knew. It was his fault. He had let it get this far, and now he had to make up for his mistake.

"I wanted to feel your warmth," he whispered, watching her face for a change in expression, but nothing came. Her gaze remained gentle, like a spring breeze. "But- but not like usual. It was- it was different. I didn't want to sleep with you, I just wanted to lie close to you. And I wanted to feel your hands on me. Not like when we make love, but different. Softer. I- " he swallowed as he felt a squeeze behind his eyes. "I wanted you to stroke my hair."

"Astarion, my little star," Tav whispered. He could feel her warm breath on his face. And like every time she used that nickname, he just melted. There was a small part of him that would probably never get used to the way she gently said his name. Like he wasn't a monster. Like he wasn't something disgusting. He sounded beautiful in her voice. "You know there's more to love than just sex, right?"

Astarion pressed his lips together. He had seen other couples holding hands or dancing. But that was something he couldn't have, right? He didn't deserve it.

All he could offer Tav was his body. It was the only part of him that was beautiful, but it was used and dirty. If Tav wanted him the way he wanted her, then his body was all he could offer her.

Everything else about him was weak and broken, and even if he dared to show that side to her, it could never be the reason she loved him.

Obviously he had been silent for too long, because Tav's eyebrows had drawn together in a worried expression. She placed a hand on his cheek. Her soft skin felt wonderful. As if she could heal his deepest wounds by just touching him. "I love everything about you. If you were to tell me today that you wished we never slept with each other again, than we just wouldn't. All I want is for you to be happy. Having sex is a nice addition, but it's never the reason for love. I could do without it for you and I wouldn't miss it a day because you'd still be there and that is what really matters."

He didn't know what to say. It was as if he could feel blood flowing through his veins again, he felt so warm.

"Come here," she whispered, lying down on her back and spreading her arms.

After craving it all evening, he didn't need to be told twice. He carefully climbed under the blanket, which she had lifted a little for him, and settled down gently on her invitingly warm body. He placed one of his legs between hers and his chest rested gently on hers. He could feel her heartbeat. The beat of a heart that loved him. And even though he found it hard to really take in her words, he believed her. Because Tav had proven time and again that she wasn't lying to him or playing with his feelings. She meant what she said.

He buried his face in the crook of her neck and inhaled her wonderful scent deeply.

And then, all of a sudden, he felt one of her hands find its way to his curls and begin to gently stroke them. He couldn't stop a soft whimper from escaping his lips.

Tav's warmth enveloped him and he felt safe.

And by lying on top of her, he felt like he was protecting her from something too. As if he was not only taking from her but also giving something.

He felt Tav's soft lips on his forehead before she whispered, "It's all right. I've wanted to cuddle with you for a long time too, my star, I was just afraid you weren't ready yet. I wanted to give you time."

"Thank you," Astarion whispered against her hot skin. "I appreciate it. You're always so considerate of me, and I'm so grateful for that." His voice broke a little on the last word, because the truth was terrifying. Tav could ask anything of him and he would do it without giving it a second thought. Only she had that power over him. But she didn't use it. She didn't take advantage of him. She treated him with respect, like he was a sentient being and not a thing to be used and thrown away as soon as it was broken.

Tav got the best out of him. Something he hadn't even realised was there before he met her.

"That's not what you should thank me for, love." she said softly. "I love you, and someone who loves you, really loves you, would never hurt you."

Astarion knew she was speaking the truth. He knew that Tav wouldn't hurt him. And this certainty gave him stability in many moments.

"I love you too, darling," he whispered softly before kissing the skin on her neck gently and finally being ready to close his eyes.

[munariplans]

Hiii thank you for updating on your recent story! I enjoyed it!!💓 could I request Natasha x reader in a situationship & there’s a avengers wedding and they both get invited separately only for reader to see Nat in a different way and suddenly realised they had feelings all this time for her 🥹

the arrangement | natasha romanoff

synopsis: based on the request above!

natasha romanoff x reader

word count: 5.6k words

a/n: i really do have a fondness for writing pining and angst, enjoy hehehehe

masterlist

in a rare instance in the years you’ve known natasha, it was her that awoke first that morning, shaking you awake as yelena pounded on the door to her room.

“hey, hey,” natasha whispered-yelled, prompting you to get up while opening your eyes blearily, “you have to go. yelena’s here.”

yawning, you gave her an “OK” signal as you gathered your surroundings. you had once again fallen asleep in her room after last night. gathering your clothes and fixing your hair then, you spared a look at her mirror first before leaving, and what you saw almost made you want to laugh out loud. 

“how the fuck did you manage to cover me in this many hickeys?” 

natasha turned to you, halfway through freshening herself up as well. the redness in her cheeks grew prominent as she saw the many purple and red bruises littering all around your neck. cursing, she threw you a turtleneck from her wardrobe and pointed at the window. yelena was asking her why she was taking so long now.

but just before you climbed out, she thought about it, and risked it for a few more seconds, before pulling you in to press a kiss to your lips. “that girl that was hitting you up at the party last night was being annoying. had to show her you weren’t interested.”

you grinned, shaking your head at her ridiculousness. 

and right as you shut the window and slipped out, yelena barged in and threw her several wedding dress options onto natasha’s bed, demanding for her sister to decide which one looked best. but natasha hated to admit she was still distracted from the way your ass swayed right as you sultrily sneaked out of her window. 

–

later that same afternoon, you were walking with your friend, accompanying him ring-shopping, when the question first came up. 

“aren’t you ever interested in marriage? or, at the very least, finding a partner?” he half-joked. everyone knew you had been single for a while now. “we’re not so young anymore, you know.”

in response, you shrugged. “i don’t see a point.”

“in loving someone?”

“in being with someone, at all. the domesticity, the mundaneness, it’s all so…boring, after a while. i don’t see why you, and so many others, would want to be tied down by all of that, forever.”

“...so you don’t see a forever?”

“right now, with just one person, i don’t,” you said, your eyes drifting off to the street across, where a girl in braids of red hair reminded you of a certain someone you had begun sleeping with in the past few months. 

–

you called natasha on the way home, asking if she had company for the night, and if not, whether she wanted yours. 

she replied that she was frustrated, and that yelena was being a bitch about her wedding planning. natasha had insisted that a band would have been a better musical accompaniment, yelena had wanted to allow tony and clint to get drunk enough to sing for her.

you came to yelena’s rescue, apparently. because right as you arrived right back at natasha’s apartment, where the two women were clearly at each other’s throats and yelena had literally picked up a butter knife to threaten her sister, you caught natasha from lunging at her and wiping the stupid smirk off her face entirely. she thrashed in your arms, but with a few reassuring words and a promise to let yelena have a taste of her own medicine later, she relented. 

“can you believe how stupid she is sounding? wanting the drunkards to sing for her?!” natasha pointed out then, to which yelena took offence once more. 

“i’m sorry i want my wedding to be fun!” she screamed, “you can’t help it if god made your sister boring!”

“why, you–”

you held natasha firmer by your side, at the feeling of her nearly jumping to strangle her sister. “–natasha, enough. let it go.”

“she was being–”

“–it’s her choice, her wedding. let it go, will you? we can discuss this another time, when you two are less…riled up,” then, you leaned in closer, and whispered, “if you behave now, i’ll let you try fucking me against the glass of that window you like seeing me escape out of so much later.” 

her breath hitched, you knew you had struck a deal with natasha. she backed off, and even stopped herself from retaliating at yelena’s middle finger and stuck-out tongue.

but when yelena had left for the day and the two of you were alone, natasha found herself being strapped to the passenger seat of your car, as you drove her to her favourite ice cream parlour nearby.

a pout on her face, natasha asked as you parked, “i thought we were going to have sex after she left.”

you nodded understandingly. “we are, but i think i need to cool you down with ice cream first. i don’t want to get myself injured from your wrath with yelena earlier.”

the truth had been because you thought natasha needed a space to calm down and process her feelings first, and not to bottle it up and shove it away from sex. plus, you thought that the treat would cheer her up a little as well, putting aside how hot you found angry sex was with natasha.

of course, with your little quip, you could only expect natasha elbowing you as hard as she could, as you laughed and opened the door for her to the parlour.

–

“they have a new flavour here,” natasha pointed against the display, “apple pie.”

“you won’t like it.” you thought about natasha’s preferences for ice cream, and while they were boring, they were safe. “they have your usual today.”

but she took it as a challenge, apparently. “i’m going to try it.”

and as the cashier took both your orders, natasha noticed you place an order for her usual flavour. while it was odd that you would deviate from anything even remotely far from cookies and cream, she chose not to speak of it. 

you watched as natasha took her seat in front of you, then taking one bite of her apple pie scoop, before her face morphed into one of doubt, then slight discomfort, and finally, disgust. still, she tried to hide it from you, putting on a straight face as you asked her how it tasted. 

“fine,” she said, but her disdain said otherwise. 

in response, you smirked, offering her a bite of your own scoop. she was persistent in not wanting to at first, but as you offered her again, she took a bite, then another, and another, and oh well by that point you had given her your entire scoop and taken hers away from her. 

you tasted the apple pie scoop. it had cinnamon, something natasha clearly disliked. there was no wonder, you thought, smiling to yourself as you watched her finish the last of her usual order of vanilla with chocolate sprinkles. 

–

you were at the bachelor’s party of yelena’s fiancé when natasha’s call came in. she had dropped you a string of drunk texts that night, a product of her own consequences from attending yelena’s bachelorette party.

“hello, natty?” you answered, moving away from the noisy atmosphere of the club to a secluded side. you caught the groom giving you a confused look, you gestured that it was natasha on the line, and he gave you a weird smirk. 

“hellooo,” she drunkenly slurred. in the background, you could hear yelena asking for more shots. “my lovely, lovely, friend. where–are–you? i want to go home nowww…”

you moved further away from the club, bringing your phone closer to your ear. “i’ll come pick you up. are you sober enough to text me the address?”

just then, the phone was brought to maria’s side, and you could hear her shrieking for natasha to let you enjoy the party, and that there were designated drivers to bring her home if she needed to. natasha yelled back that she wanted you to come pick her up. 

you got the address from the groom, as he and the other people in the party boo-ed you for leaving so soon. you still had a line of shots to finish and a karaoke match that you would be missing, but you had already picked up your jacket and began finding your car keys to pick up natasha then. 

when you found her, she was slumped over the bar counter, in a conversation with the bartender, who was clearly wanting to serve the other customers to earn his keep. you approached, and natasha immediately went to your side as she hung off of you, smiling from ear to ear. her smile made your own lips turn up in amusement. 

“are you the one she’s been talking my head off all night?” the bartender asked, and you chuckled. 

“i guess so,” you thanked him for taking care of her, and left the bar after saying a round of goodbyes to the people in yelena’s party as well. 

– 

you helped natasha to the passenger seat of the car, but right as you reached over her body to help fasten her seatbelt, her hand caught your wrist, forcing you to look up at her. 

her eyes met yours, and in a clear split second of momentary sobriety, you saw sincerity in them. she whispered, “you’re so pretty,  i think i might be in love with you.”

you couldn’t help the laughter that bubbled in your throat, as your first reaction was to snicker, then look away from her. then, when you heard her groan behind you, the snickers became full-blown chuckles as you laughed in her face at the drunken confession. “oh, i have so much blackmail material against you when you’re drunk.”

natasha hit you frustratedly as you returned to the driver’s seat, but you caught her hand as you continued, “you’re drunk, natasha. you’re saying things you don’t mean.”

you helped her out of the car again as you reached her apartment, her leaning her body on yours as she stumbled finding her way through the building. using the extra set of keys she had given you, you unlocked the door and set her down on her sofa. 

guiding her to her bedroom, you felt natasha’s hands then start travelling up and down your body, and while in any normal circumstance you would have indulged her, and perhaps initiated more, you knew she was drunk. you weren’t going to be the asshole who took advantage of their friend, with benefits, when it was unclear even to her what she was doing. 

you removed her hands, and let her lie down on the bed. she pouted. “do you not want me?” 

she saw you disappear into her bathroom for a minute, before returning with her toiletries. “i do. you know i always do. just not when you’re drunk.”

“but i want youuu,” she slurred, “and i’m so horny nowww.”

you smirked, but still refused. instead, you rested on top of her, slowly removing her false eyelashes, then wiping off her makeup, and finally helping her carefully wash her face. she sighed at the gentle massage and warm water. “you know, anyone else would have said yes. anyone else would have been dying for natasha romanoff, me, to sleep with them like this.”

“but i’m not anyone else, aren’t i?” you quipped, taking off her clothes and rejecting yet another advancement for her to take yours off as well. you went to her dresser to find her pyjamas. 

natasha rolled her eyes, turning her body away from you as you dressed her up again in protest. you smiled to yourself at her cuteness, tucking her in and pressing a kiss on her forehead. “tomorrow, when you’re sober and still up for it, call me. i’ll be here right away.”

she watched you place a strip of advil and a glass of water for her hangover tomorrow, before gathering your things again. “...you’re not going to stay? where are you going?” 

drunk natasha really was clingy natasha, you thought. “i have another hookup i need to get to. need to make the most of my nights, you know?”

in truth, you didn’t want to overstep any boundaries you and natasha had set up for yourselves when you first got into this…arrangement. she was clear on not wanting any feelings to be involved, and with how things were turning out tonight, you were afraid that if you stayed, there would be a blurring of some lines from her end on her feelings; lines that she would reenforce the morning after even more strictly. and while you didn’t generally have a problem with that, you had felt that you had gotten natasha to lower her walls down enough to enjoy your company beyond your flings; you didn’t want to risk all that just for a night where she could possibly tell you her drunken feelings about you. you treasured your friendship too much for that. 

and so you left, leaving natasha slightly stung and hurt with the implication that you had someone else, or a lot of someone elses, waiting for you if she wasn’t sleeping with you, and strangely, it affected her more than she thought it would, even drunk as she was. watching you leave, she thought selfishly about how she hadn’t slept with anyone since she began sleeping with you, so was it only fair that you had the decency not to as well?

but you and her were just friends, she had to remind herself. it was not like she had power to dictate who you were seeing, and who you slept with, anyway. it was not like you two were exclusive, or in a relationship at all, which was precisely what natasha hadn’t wanted at the start. now, she was wondering why she even uttered those words at all. 

little did she know, you were doing nothing of the sort. instead, you had gone straight home, put up a romantic comedy on the TV, heated yourself some leftovers, and sighed as you pondered over your own early end to the night.

– 

everyone who knew you and natasha, knew however, that whatever relationship you two had, was more than just friends. that the two of you had crossed the line of just friends about twenty late-night hookups and rendezvouses ago, no matter what either of you claimed about the other. 

it was clear in the way you cared for natasha more than any other friend you had, it was clear in the way natasha sought out for you more than she even initiated a conversation with anyone else. 

which was what made it so incredulous; that you would allow anyone else try to court natasha before you did. 

everyone had warned bucky that what you and natasha shared was more than just a surface friendship, and relations ran deeper than what he thought was possible. but still, it didn’t stop him from taking your own words against yourself, and confronting you about it one day.

“you’re just friends, right?” he asked haughtily, interrupting you as you were helping yelena sort out the final touches to her wedding venue arrangement. you dismissed him with a quick grunt and agreement. 

but he followed you. “then you wouldn’t mind helping me get to know her, would you? or better, helping her fall for me?”

you paused in that moment, yelena, overhearing the conversation, consequently giving him a weird look as well. surely not, she thought, turning her attention to you, but you seemed to contemplate his request. 

and she nearly choked in disbelief, when surprisingly, you agreed to help him out in chasing natasha.

you shared with him that natasha’s birthday was approaching, and when he asked what kind of gifts she would like, you wanted to say something small, heartfelt. but then you realised it was probably only in your case she would like it so. from anyone else, you thought she deserved the world. 

“something big, extravagant,” you told bucky, “natasha deserves only the best, you see.”

he happily lapped up any information you gave him about natasha, the person who knew her best. 

and when her birthday did arrive, you watched by the sidelines as bucky shyly presented his gift to her, an outlandish, extravagant display of just his infatuation for the woman. everyone had thought it was well-thought out, very well suited to what she liked, and you patted yourself on the back at the comments. it was you, after all, who had accompanied bucky to get her gift. 

natasha looked flustered, admittedly, at the surprise of someone knowing what she wanted so well. it wasn’t everyday that she told the people around her what she wanted for her birthday, after all. and to think about it, she had only told you, of her wishlist upon her birthday. 

when she found a moment with you alone that night, as the party winded down and everyone began to leave, she was interrupted by bucky hanging around foolishly, almost as if he was waiting for something to happen between them. she kindly gave him a kiss on the cheek, and promised him she would call him the next day. she needed to get to you first.

you were by the bar as you watched their interaction, the giddy look on bucky’s face as he left and gave you a thumbs-up making you chuckle. 

then, natasha appeared by your side, asking you what was so funny. you didn’t have the heart to tell her. 

“i didn’t forget to get you a gift, by the way,” you told her when she had coaxed you up to her bedroom, “i just…didn’t want the others to see. saved you the embarrassment of the teases and accusations in front of everyone.”

“oh god,” natasha replied, “you’re going to gift me a sex toy, aren’t you? i just know it.”

“you are such an addict,” you snickered, “what do you take me for?!”

then, you pulled out a small box from your jacket, tied in a tiffany blue ribbon with her name written in an accompanying card alongside the box. natasha’s fingers trembled as she received your gift.

to my natasha, my bestest friend. 

she didn’t know why her heart dropped a little in disappointment at the note. but she kept up her unwavering smile, and pulled on the ribbon. 

it was a silver necklace, with a flower pendant right in front. it was neither tacky, nor extravagant and luxurious, like bucky’s gift had been. and while his gift was definitely something natasha liked, and was surprised by, your gift had been the one that almost sent her to tears. 

“because you’re beautiful like the flowers,” you said, a little uncertain as you watched tears well up in her eyes, “natty, are you okay?”

she tried to reel in the tears, but to no avail. worried, you said, “if you don’t like it, i can return it, it’s okay. i can probably get back a half-refund for it, and get you the voucher to spend on something else. oh god, you’re crying because of me, is it that bad…?”

but then, suddenly she was throwing herself onto you, arms wrapped around your neck as she sobbed hysterically. she had never known someone who knew her so well. you wrapped your arms around her body, still confused, when she choked out, “i-it’s perfect. thank you.”

she asked you to help her put it on, and when the clasp was tightened and natasha felt the pendant rest on the base of her collarbones, she held it as if she was holding it close to her heart. it was the best birthday gift she had ever gotten. 

“i’m sorry it’s a little small, and kind of lame,” you professed later, as she laid on top of you, spending the last few moments of her birthday together. it was also the rare few times the both of you were fully clothed while laying on that bed. “i know you deserve so much better, but i…i saw the pendant, and it reminded me of you.”

natasha listened to your heartbeat quicken as she reached out for your hand, interlacing her fingers with yours. “i loved it. you don’t have to apologise. thank you, for today as well. steve told me you planned the party from start to finish. called the caterers to make sure they had what i liked, arranged the drinks from the bar, even nearly having a fight over the cake decorations with the bakery. it must’ve been so much trouble.”

your laugh this time was warm, rumbling from your diaphragm. “not at all. not if it’s for you.”

your eyes met hers, and when natasha readjusted her face just so that she could be closer, to give you a perfect opportunity to lean down and kiss her, to give her the perfect end to her birthday night, you stupidly looked away, and told her you couldn’t stay. 

as you left, you reminded her to call bucky again, and natasha nearly threw her own phone at you in frustration. 

– 

natasha had unwillingly agreed to a lunch date with bucky, upon your suggestion that he was a nice guy, and that she was the only one left to go to yelena’s wedding without a date. she made you promise to pick her up right after, and while you feigned that she was so troublesome for asking for such, you were happy to do it for her. 

“well, how was it?” you asked. you had been driving for a good fifteen minutes after picking her up, and natasha still had not said one word about him. she had only been talking to you about your day up until then. 

she shrugged, almost as if not giving a care for it. “it was okay. he paid for the lunch. we talked about yelena’s wedding.” 

“okay enough for a second date?”

she looked away to the window. you thought you said something wrong, when she replied, “what do you think about him?”

“well, i don’t know,” you said, “when he came to me, asking for help to get you to like him, i thought he seemed genuine enough. so…i helped him.”

“wait,” natasha suddenly sat up, shooting you a glare, “you were helping him? to get to me?”

your gaze met hers for a brief moment, before returning to the road. “...yes? is there anything wrong with that?”

she stayed quiet for a moment, but you knew she was seething. you offered to explain yourself, to tell her that you just wanted the best for her, that’s all, and that bucky seemed like a good partner for her, when natasha held up a hand to stop you. 

then, she demanded for you to stop the car and let her out.

“what?” you asked, puzzled. “it’s still half an hour to your apartment, natty. and it’s about five degrees out, you’ll freeze to death if you get out.”

“i said, stop the car!” she argued back defiantly, “stop the car or i’m opening the door right now and throwing myself out!”

you knew not to take natasha’s words lightly, as you stopped finally. then, you watched with even more disbelief, as she unbuckled her seatbelt, got out, and slammed the door shut again. 

when she began walking her route home, you followed her with your car and pleaded, “come on, natty, are you mad at me?”

she refused to make eye contact or acknowledge you. 

“fine, i was wrong. i never should’ve helped him, and i won’t help him anymore. i just…i wanted what was best for you, you know? come on, get back in the car, it’s cold outside, and you still have so far to go if you walk.”

“what’s best for me…” she said under her breath, “...how do you know what’s best for me?”

“natty, i said i’m sorry!” you begged this time, but natasha suddenly took a turn to the right, leading up to a row of shops where the roads didn’t allow for cars in, and you knew it was your sign to leave her alone. she still didn’t acknowledge you when you said you were sorry for the third time. 

–

the next time bucky came up in a conversation between you both (you had been very careful not to tread upon it since that day), natasha told you that she had let him down and told him to try again when she was more ready for a relationship.

you were afraid of asking why, in fear that she would ignore you and get upset all over again, but she invited you to do so. so you asked, and she said that she had her eye on someone else the whole time, so it was unwelcomed at the thought of you trying to set her up with bucky.

you had wanted to ask who it was, your curiosity piqued, when you were interrupted by wanda asking you for a dance. it had been at another friend’s wedding, after all. 

natasha found herself digging her fingernails into her palms when you took wanda’s hand and danced with her.

–

the woman showed you just how jealous she had been of wanda hours later in your bedroom. with the knowledge that her and bucky were no longer a thing, you no longer had to respect your boundaries with her as a friend, and the both of you returned to sleeping together again. to say that you missed natasha’s touch had been an understatement.

“you look so pretty with my hands around your neck,” natasha whispered harshly. there it was again. the last time she called you so pretty, she was drunk. now, she was sober, and you were still finding it hard to believe her words. perhaps it was just something she said in the heat of the moment.

you moaned as her fingers plunged harder, and deeper, within you, letting your eyes roll to the back of your head as natasha ravaged you for the night. in the morning you would wake in her bed again, and it would be okay, because you had her back, finally. the red, raw trails on your back from her fingers wouldn’t feel so sore, the hickeys around your neck and jaw no longer a nuisance. because you had her back, and it was all that mattered. 

–

leading up to yelena’s wedding, the two of you returned to a shared normalcy that was similar to before the bucky incident; something both you and natasha were grateful for.

you would pick her up for lunch at her favourite restaurants most days, and on more than one occasion, you would catch natasha taking pictures of you when the both of you were alone. she thought you looked too good, in the natural sunlight of the restaurant window, and in the scarf that she had bought for you for your birthday. 

when you would ask to see the photos later on, you found it hard to disagree that the world did look better in natasha’s eyes. 

away from your prying eyes later, natasha would set the photos she took of you as her phone wallpaper. 

– 

with natasha as the maid of honour and you being one of the grooms (wo)men, natasha was the one who insisted that you at least knew how to dance properly when the slow songs came about. you had whined that you wouldn’t be dancing anyway, since you didn’t have a date, and you weren’t looking to find a date, but the woman was insistent, and you could never really say no to her. 

“it’s easy, just follow me, and try not to step on my feet,” she reminded you, fixing the turntable to an elvis record. you watched in adoration at the warm lighting of the room, and how, even in her pyjamas and her hair tied in a messy bun, natasha still managed to look beautiful even in her apartment’s living room. 

she took your hands in hers, placing it on her waist, as she laid her head on your shoulder. “breathe. and follow me.”

the music played. it was easy enough keeping up with natasha, following her footsteps and swaying to the music. but what was not easy, was having her breath fanning out against your neck, the smell of wine in her mouth, and the music, oh the music. it was a huge mistake to dance with natasha when elvis’ can’t help falling in love was playing in the background.

the both of you softly, slowly danced, natasha taking comfort in your touch, while the music accompanied all that you were feeling for the night.

shall i stay? would it be, would it be a sin? if i can't help falling in love with you 

would it be a sin if you fell for natasha? you could only hold her closer, relishing in the fact that in that brief moment, where the two of you were dancing, no one else mattered, and nothing else was there, except for your two souls, beating as one. once the song was over, it would be back to being just friends for you both, but in that moment, you were infinite, and you were natasha’s. 

when she felt you let go first as the song ended, natasha resisted the urge to hold on tighter and ask for a second song. 

– 

on the morning of the wedding, you woke natasha up first, pressing kisses all over her cheeks and face as she giggled and wrestled you off. then, she tried sneaking her hand past the band of your panties, to which you reluctantly pulled her out of, mentioning how you couldn’t be late to yelena’s wedding, of all events. she groaned and kissed you for a consolation prize. 

the both of you got ready together. in the bathroom mirror, when the two of you were brushing your teeth, you made eye contact with natasha and she did with you. she smiled shyly, and you realised you didn’t mind spending the rest of your mornings brushing your teeth beside her for a lifetime. 

she sat on your lap as she did your makeup, and you did the same doing hers. the both of you must have had a silent agreement to not look into the other’s eyes for too long in those moments, because you knew natasha wanted to kiss you just as much as you wanted to kiss her when she got too close. 

and when the both of you arrived and separated into your respective sides of the venue, you wished natasha the best of luck with a kiss to her cheek. she hugged you back in reassurance, telling you would do well in the slowdance later. 

when the guests were seated and ready, and natasha and you standing in the opposite sides of the bride and groom, you caught her eye again, watching yelena walk in. she looked absolutely radiating, and you knew she was thanking natasha secretly for convincing her that a band was a better musical accompaniment than whatever she had planned for herself. 

you look beautiful, you mouthed to natasha. she hid her blush in the bridesmaid beside her, as she mouthed the same back to you. 

but when elvis’ song came on again, as yelena walked down the aisle, your eyes were still transfixed on each other. it didn’t matter, because everyone else’s eyes were on the bride then. only you and natasha had each other.

and suddenly, you realised that forever with someone, didn’t seem so bad at all. not if it’s with her. not if it’s natasha. 

 the domesticity, the mundaneness, it wasn’t all so boring if it was with her. you realised you would relive the thousands of days of doing nothing, if it was spent by her side. 

you realised you would do anything for her, even go out to get a ring for her right then, propose and then marry her in a chapel, if that was what she wanted. if it meant forever with her. 

you realised that maybe you loved her, more than just friends. and loving her meant realising that you didn’t have to make a wish ever again because you already had everything you could ever want with her. 

– 

you wanted to ask for her hand when it was time to slow dance. you wanted to ask her to be yours. you wanted to ask her if it hurt to breathe while you loved her as much as she loved you. 

but when you found her, and went to her side to ask her, you were interrupted by bucky once again, who patted you on the back and diverted his attention to natasha. 

he asked her to dance first. and the smile on your face fell, natasha noticed. she halted him, turning to you to ask what was wrong, but then you shook your head, telling her you were fine. she asked again, but you insisted that she dance with him. you would tell her later.

you didn’t know if you were too late. you didn’t know if there were good reasons natasha had established boundaries between the two of you, and whether breaking them meant losing her forever. what were you thinking, that just because you caught feelings, meant she would catch them too? 

you wouldn’t risk what you have with her just because of your feelings. you treasured natasha too much for that. 

and so when she slow danced with the man on the dance floor and tried catching your eye to dance with her instead, you only gave her a small smile and left the ballroom first. 

because you weren’t hers and she wasn’t yours. that had been the arrangement from the start. 

[holllandtrash]

gone | daniel ricciardo

pairing: daniel ricciardo x driver!reader (part 3 to fragile line)

I just know You're not gone You can't be gone

The 2023 season is painful, its challenging and Daniel is still very much in your life in all the ways he shouldn't be.

word count: 9.9k (i dont even know how) warnings/tags: angst, heartbreak, all the painful stuff

“I don’t want to do this anymore.”

“Do what?” 

You exhaled a breath that made your entire body shake, “You know what, Daniel.” 

Of course he did. For the last few months, he was experiencing the exact same things you were. The uncertainty, the tension, the sleepless nights, god you were so tired. 

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. It was supposed to be you and him. You were supposed to be a team. 

So much went wrong, too much. Daniel stood in front of you now as you asked yourself if you were too far gone. 

And you both knew the answer to that one. 

That first race back in Hungary…you were a mess. You probably would have been a little bit more put together had Oliver not pointed out the lineup for the driver’s press conference. 

“You’re kidding,” your jaw dropped, staring at the list. “Who’s smart idea was it to put myself and Daniel together?”

“This is Formula 1,” Oliver sounded apologetic, he did feel bad about the situation. “The FIA doesn’t care if he’s your ex.”

The FIA didn’t care but the entire world watching did. Speculations on what would happen, where you would sit, what would be asked flooded social media. 

When you showed up on Thursday, Lando patted your back and told you to breathe.

“Easier said than done, Lando. I don’t see you being forced to sit with your ex.”

He chuckled at that because you had a point. “Look, I love Danny, but don’t let him get to you, alright?”

Originally, Lando did try to switch the sessions. He talked to Zak, PR, everyone, just because he knew how much you were dreading it. But alas, it was you who was now standing outside the media room, leaning against the wall as you waited to go in and get these next twenty minutes over and done with.

Your plan was to just say as little as possible to everyone. You were banking on the fact that the attention would be solely on Daniel and his return, and that was made clear when he walked into the hallway, getting warm greetings from other drivers and those standing nearby.

He had absolutely no reason to stand next to you, not when there were about ten other people who would have been dying for a few seconds of his time. 

Daniel cleared his throat, hands behind his back as he leaned against the wall as well. 

You counted six seconds before he opened his mouth, speaking to you for the first time since the awards dinner months ago. 

“Not even a hello?” He asked, but he wasn’t the least bit surprised that you were completely avoiding looking in his direction. You ignored him and Daniel laughed to himself at your lack of response.

The door opened again and you took a breath of relief when you realised you were about to be called into the press conference. Just get it over and done with.

Daniel didn’t have the same priorities and spoke up again, “I just want to know-”

You promptly cut him off, you had to. “Look I think it would be best if we just-” god this hurt, you couldn’t even look him in the eye. “Let’s just not talk, okay?”

You pushed yourself away from the wall when one of the media assistants handed each of you a mic and gave you the thumbs up that it was time for the five of you to head out onto the couch. Daniel quickly followed behind you, voice low enough that you could hear but it was unlikely anyone else could.

“So that’s it? You have nothing to say to me?” He asked. “For the person who got you into Formula 1?”

You as well spoke in a harsh whisper, “You may have fast tracked my career but I could have made it to Formula 1 without your help.”

You liked to believe that was true. Was it? You’d never know now.

“But you did take my help,” he pointed out, a groan slipping past his lips as he sat down on the couch. You made sure to distance yourself from him, leaving room for Carlos to sit between you. Even still, Daniel wasn’t done. “You took my help, my resources and then my seat.”

“And what did you do?” You hissed, arms crossed over your chest as different media personnel started to slowly trickle into the room, the lucky ones who claimed the first row were probably close enough to hear you and Daniel.

“Pardon?” He turned his head towards you. Carlos instinctively leaned further back, not wanting to be in the middle of this conversation, but watching and listening intently, as were the other drivers.

“What did you do, hmm?” You repeated, eyes scanning the growing crowd before you snapped your head in his direction. 

For a moment, this feud didn’t matter. Your heart skipped a beat, like it had the hundreds, thousands, of other times when his eyes met yours. The same brown eyes that for months you allowed yourself to get lost in. One look from him and everything around you faded to black. Nothing else seemed important when Daniel was looking at you, giving you his undivided attention.

But this moment wasn’t like all of those other ones.

You snapped out of it, returning to your original thought, much to Carlos’ dismay as he thought you guys were done and had started to relax in between you. 

“We both replaced a driver before their contract was up, Daniel.” You stated, wanting to point out the hypocrisy in his actions. “You are no better than me. We did the exact same thing.”

“It wasn’t the same and you know it,” Daniel retorted, not skipping a beat. He had those words lined up for weeks now, waiting for the chance to say them because there was no way in hell you weren’t going to point out the similarities in your actions.

But Daniel was right. It wasn’t the same. The biggest difference being, you were in love with Daniel when you signed that contract with McLaren, and he was in love with you. 

It wasn’t just a driver screwing over another driver. You drove a wedge between the two of you.

You had the thought to stand up and walk out. The press conference hadn’t officially started yet, the last few reporters were just finding their seats. You could say you’re ill, something came up, really any excuse to get out of here and away from Daniel’s harsh stare.

Don’t let him get to you. Lando’s reminder floated to the front of your mind and you forced yourself to just sit back and look at the small crowd instead. It was clear to everyone who even glanced your way that you did not want to be sitting there, but thankfully Tom Clarkson got the session up and running.

Of course Daniel was the star. Tom had questions about his return, about his short break, about being back with familiar faces. Daniel answered them all with such ease, the familiar heartwarming grin on his face that you couldn’t bear to look at. 

You zoned out, really, arms crossed in front of your chest as you tried to ignore the double standards coming from your right. You doubted Daniel was going to get as much hate online as you had gotten. No one was asking him how he felt about taking another’s seat, everyone was just happy he was back.

“And Y/N, onto you-”

You snapped your head up, plastering on your best smile.

“Last year you finished quite high in Hungary in Formula 2 and after your best finish out in Silverstone, you must feel quite confident going into this weekend?”

You lifted the mic up to your lips, “Yes and no, you know the car’s upgrades are proving to be paying off and we’re hoping to use them to our advantage this weekend but one can never be too confident. As a team we’ll be fighting to be at the front again but in the back of our minds we know that everyone else is doing the same.”

Tom nodded, content with that answer, “And is it nice to have another familiar face on the grid? Daniel acted as a sort of mentor for you during your time in F2, did he not?”

You tensed up and next to you, Carlos felt it. He nudged his arm against yours, a subtle move of encouragement. Carlos, like most of the drivers, knew how uncomfortable the situation was for all involved.

But you couldn’t process the kind gesture. Not when you could practically feel Daniel staring at you, burning holes into the side of your head as he waited for your response.

“I think, yeah a lot of people are probably happy to welcome him back,” you spoke quietly, and not at all convincing. But hey, at least you removed yourself from the answer and gave a general response. One that no one could flip on you.

Tom tried, though, “But personally, what’s going through your mind right now?”

You had so much media training. You knew the proper answer would be something along the lines of how Daniel is a great asset to the sport and how the grid is better with him. Nothing personal, but just facts the general public could agree with. You knew what to say.

But you scoffed instead, “Why aren’t you asking the other drivers how they feel?”

Max spoke up from the opposite end of the couch, “It’s great having Daniel back.”

You shot him a quick, yet thankful, smile. While he was good friends with Daniel, anyone on that couch could see how that question was only given to you because of your history with the Australian. And this press conference was supposed to be about motorsport, about the racing coming up. 

You stayed quiet for the rest of it and as soon as it ended you bolted out of that room. 

Unfortunately, so did Daniel.

He caught up to you with ease, “Hold up, Y/N, I want to talk.”

Daniel reached for your arm and you pulled it out of his grasp as you turned around to face him, “I don’t think there’s anything left to say. No, you said plenty last year. What was it, exactly? Something about how taking your seat before your contract was even up was the worst thing I could have possibly done? I’m not going to sit there and listen to everyone praise you for coming back when you dragged my name through the dirt for the exact same fucking move. I’m not going to listen to a single thing you have to say, knowing you’re the biggest hypocrite this sport has ever seen but won’t admit it.”

Daniel huffed out a short breath. For a second, you thought he was going to apologise, but that thought quickly left when his forehead creased, his jaw tightening, “Sometimes you gotta burn a few bridges in this industry, but you figured that out all on your own, didn’t you?”

You shook your head, taking a few more steps backwards as heavy sarcasm dripped from your tongue, “Nice to have you back, Daniel.”

It really was anything but nice. Not when that entire race was focused on how you and Daniel interacted in the paddock- or the lack of interaction was probably a better way to phrase it. Everyone knew you two to be connected at the hip. Now you were turning around and walking in the opposite direction to avoid him.

The next race was worse. Spa. It was a challenging track already, you knew this going into the practice sessions. You were prepared for a difficult weekend.

What you weren’t prepared for was leaving the garage towards the end of Q1 to set a lap time, only to be blocked by Daniel before you could cross the finish line. He slowed down before the straight, like many drivers did before giving it all they had on their way to start a flying lap. 

But Daniel didn’t speed up like you expected him to. He kept you behind him for as long as he could before shifting gears and taking off. When it was your turn to cross the line and get your time started, you heard the call come in from the garage. 

“Times up,” your engineer, Ronnie, said through the radio. “You didn’t cross the line in time.”

Once that timer hit 0, no one was allowed to start a new lap. Every other driver made it across in time, but Daniel’s little move kept you from throwing your hat into the ring for Q2. 

You embarrassingly made your way back around the track, pulling into the pit lane to park in the garage. It wasn’t long before other drivers followed, but they had all set lap times. Climbing out of the car, you noticed that Daniel didn’t make it through either.

Serves him right, you thought. 

God, you wanted to give him a piece of your mind. 

Right on time, you watched on the screen as Daniel dove into the pit lane. You ignored the calls from Ronnie and Oliver, not a single thought in your mind except to ask Daniel what his problem was.

Oliver knew what you were doing as soon as you stepped out of the garage. You ripped your helmet off and shoved it into his hands as he hurried to walk at your pace. Your eyes were set on the AlphaTauri garage just up ahead and you could hear Oliver warning you, telling you to just turn around and go back to McLaren but the second you saw Daniel get out of his car, you snapped.

“What the hell was that?” You asked, eyeing him up from where he stood at the garage opening. 

Daniel wasn’t the least bit surprised to see you, but he did stand up straighter, already anticipating whatever you had to say to him. 

“You’re a prick, you know that?” Your insult did little to offend him. 

“It's not my fault you left the garage late,” Daniel shrugged, taking no responsibility for your inability to set a lap time. 

“It’s completely your fault for slowing down more than necessary.”

“I didn’t want to run into traffic.”

“You fucked up my qualifying, Daniel.”

You felt Oliver’s hand on your shoulder. He wasn’t trying to pull you away, but the touch was to get your attention. Aside from AlphaTauri crew members watching this interaction, there was also a camera pointed directly at the two of you, streaming live to F1TV and whatever else broadcast that chose to air it. 

Daniel wasn’t as concerned about his media appearance, stepping forward the slightest bit so you were only inches apart. 

“If I were you, sweets, I wouldn’t be blaming your problems on the person who got you into this sport.”

You were so close to losing it on him for that comment. You probably would have, had he not thrown in his old nickname for you. Only it wasn’t sweet anymore. There was a distaste on his tongue as he said it, you heard it. He only said it to throw you off, to remind you that he no longer cared for you the way he used to. He was using it against you now.

Daniel saw the way you froze, completely losing your train of thought and he used it to his advantage to walk away from this conversation. He was happy to get the last word in and all you could do was drop your head and walk as close to Oliver as humanly possible as you made your way back to McLaren.

The altercation was heavily split down the middle by all who watched. Some people agreed that Daniel slowed down purposely to keep you from crossing the line in time to start a lap. They also agreed that he should have owned up and apologised for it, saying that it wasn’t in his character to leave another driver so defeated after something that was clearly his fault.

Other people agreed that it was your fault for leaving the garage too late, taking Daniel’s side. They said that it wasn’t very mature of you to confront him like that, or to swear at him. It only added to the conversation of how women weren’t ready to have a place in Formula 1. 

Your PR manager advised you to put out a statement about it, an apology. You ignored her advice. In your opinion, the only person who had to apologise was Daniel.

Of course he didn’t, though. 

Which meant you didn’t apologise when after the summer, In Zandvoort, you braked a little early when Daniel was behind you. You played it off saying you anticipated the turn too early. Daniel happily complained about you in the media pen when he was forced into the grass and then ultimately the barrier, forcing his race to end early. Social media blew up, like usual, feeding into this childish feud. 

That’s how it went for most all, of the races. It wasn’t as though you were purposely trying to ruin his weekends, nor was it his goal to ruin yours, but if you happened to be alongside each other during the race or near each other during qualifying, fans started to put their money on who would target who first.

You didn’t like that that was what your weekends turned into. It was one thing to want to know where the rest of the drivers were in comparison to you, but to be so focused on Daniel was taking it to the extreme.

But you were determined to prove you were a good driver without him, that you were a better driver than him. That taking that McLaren seat wasn’t a mistake and if anything, he should be regretting being so harsh on you. You wanted him to eat his words, and it helped your case that he was definitely struggling in the AlphaTauri. 

You finished ahead of him a handful of times. You could try and convince yourself it was skill, but a determining factor really was how horrible Daniel’s car was. That was proven when you were struggling with an upgrade package in Singapore. Some analysts compared the pace of the McLaren to the AlphaTauri, and said that the upgrades were really more like downgrades. 

When Daniel finished ahead of you, claiming sixth that race while you crossed the line in 17th, you were furious. You told the team that as a whole, you were much better than that. That the McLarens should not be finishing in the bottom five considering how successful you had been mid season. 

Those closest to you knew what you meant. You shouldn’t be finishing behind Daniel. 

Things weren’t perfect after that, despite going back to the old set up. You were back to fighting for points, but so was Daniel. And you hated it. You thought you could rely on the McLaren being better than the AlphaTauri, but you forgot to take into account that Daniel truly was one of the best drivers on the grid.

It got to the point where you and Ronnie had a code. If you finished ahead of him, on the radio, Ronnie would say way to go champ. If Daniel finished ahead of you and you weren’t already aware of it during the race, Ronnie would say there’s still work to be done. 

Again, those closest to you knew how much it meant to beat Daniel. 

You wanted to prove to him, and everyone but you wouldn’t lie to yourself it was mostly him, that you deserved that fucking seat. That you made the right choice by signing the contract, despite it meaning he was without a car for a few months. You shouldn’t have felt guilty for putting yourself first, your career first, if you were doing something great, which you were. 

Plus, the better you did, the less of a reason Daniel had to judge you. How could he still be upset with you for taking that McLaren seat when you were doing what he couldn’t? Scoring in the high points, being consistent, for the most part. How could he say that taking his seat was the worst thing you could have done when ultimately, it would boil down to jealousy? Daniel struggled in that McLaren, and he assumed you would too. That wasn’t the case. 

And deep down, even if you didn’t want to admit it, there was still a part of you that aimed to make Daniel proud. Even if you couldn’t get back to when you were each other's biggest fans, you hoped that he had moments when he looked at the driver standings and nodded to himself, smiling maybe, because even if you weren't on the best of terms, you were doing what he always knew you could do. 

You had no idea, but moments like that did come for Daniel. They were far and few between, rarely caught on camera or at least, never brought to your attention. You had no way of knowing Daniel was leaving the AlphaTauri garage, conflicted about how he felt about your accomplishments. You were doing better than him, there was no denying that. He just chose not to admit it.

The only time that season where you knew he was proud was at COTA. One of his favourite races on the calendar.

You qualified well, P3. That hadn’t happened since Silverstone. The race itself didn’t produce anything too horrible, aside from a few drivers at the back of the grid collided early on and unfortunately Daniel was one of them, being forced to retire. 

You, though, you were flying. Your biggest competition was Lando who had started P2, again, similar to Silverstone. For most of the race, your job was to defend Carlos who was aiming for that podium, wanting to take P3 from you. 

Typically, you would have boxed first. That’s usually what happened to give Lando the advantage. And with Carlos most likely being on an undercut strategy, you expected the call to come in to box ahead of him. 

But that didn’t happen. Instead, you watched Lando pull into the pit lane, giving you the automatic second place position. In your mirrors, you watched as Carlos pulled into the pits as well.

“What’s going on?” You asked Ronnie through the headset. 

“Plan F.”

Plan F was one you joked about, but never actually executed. Plan Fight you and Lando called it, but both of you knew that you’d never actually be given the go ahead to fight it out for the podium positions, not wanting to risk damage to the cars.

“Plan F?” You repeated, the shock in your voice evident. That made for good content on F1 Twitter.

“Box this lap,” Ronnie instructed before going on to explain. “Carlos is struggling with his pace, we believe his main goal will be to defend.”

From what you knew, Lewis was behind him, and if Carlos was struggling with his pace he wouldn’t be fighting for a podium, he’d be fighting to keep that fourth place position. 

Which meant you and Lando were also free to fight. 

Pitting for new tyres dropped you back a bit, but it didn’t take long at all until you were right on Lando’s tail again. You stayed there for the majority of the last half of the race, the gap wavering anywhere between half of a second to three seconds behind. 

You tried to pass, truly. But Lando’s defensive game had always been strong. You looked for the opportunities in the corners, along the straights, but it wasn’t until the third to last lap did the chance come. 

You had closed the gap as much as you could, not needing to worry about whoever was behind you, you figured it was still Carlos. As you approached the back straight, you knew Lando was expecting you to dart to the left in an attempt for an overtake on the inside, you had tried it in five out of the last ten laps and each time you were still left eating his dust. 

You veered slightly to the left, giving Lando the impression that was your goal and the second he made the move to defend, you steered the car to the right and gave it everything you had. It was a tricky move, vying for the outside overtake going into the tight corner, but when it seemed to work out, you had the inside line for the following turn and Lando was soon in your mirrors. 

He tried to take that position back, but you took advantage of the clear air and set off, determined for your first podium, determined to finish ahead of Lando.

Lando ended up claiming third, crossing the finish line only a second after you did. After a victory lap, where he jokingly flipped you off, the two of you pulled into parc ferme. Immediately, you collapsed into Lando, arms tight around him because not only was this a success for you, but for the team. Both McLaren drivers on the podium for the first time this season.

Through the cheers, you could hear Lando yell something about making history. Whether that was in regards to both of you or the fact that you were the first female to ever podium in F1, you weren’t sure. It didn’t matter anyway. You just knew you were proud.

You jumped into the arms of your team next, those standing behind the barrier. Adrenaline was pumping through you, you just wanted to celebrate with everyone. When you eventually took your helmet off, a few tears were streaming down your face and you didn’t even think about the risk of turning into the new George Russell crying meme. 

You were shaking as you stood in the cool down room, too amped up to sit. Max had been through this dozens of times before. Nor was this Lando’s first podium either, but you were on top of the world.

The ceremony went by in a blur. As did the post race conference. You really did try to take in each second of it, thankful that Lando was there at your side the entire time. This entire process was new to you and if Lando wasn’t in your ear telling you to breathe, where to go, to enjoy the moment, you would have been a mess.

There was so much that happened following that race, there was no way you could have known what was going on with any of the other drivers. It wasn’t until you got back to your hotel room at the end of the day with instructions to ‘get changed because we’re going out’ from Lando, did you see what you had missed.

It felt like hours since you even looked at your phone. You had called your parents, but you didn’t have much time for anything else. Now that you were sat on the edge of your bed, you were able to scroll through your texts and notifications. 

You were able to see the clip you were tagged in way too many times, on way too many platforms.

It was short, but any longer and you wouldn’t know what to do with yourself. You clicked play and watched the video of you crossing the finish line. Lando was following behind, but whatever broadcast this was from didn’t care about his finish. The shot switched to Daniel, from where he stood in the AlphaTauri garage.

Whoever was filming caught his live reaction of you coming second at COTA.

The nod, the faint curl of the corner of his lips because as much as he tried, he couldn’t fight the smile on his face as he watched you take your first podium position in F1, something that he once dreamed for you.

But you not being part of his dreams anymore didn’t mean that he stopped wishing you accomplished yours. 

This brought you back to the first video you watched of him a few years back, before you even met him, where he spoke so highly of you. He wanted you to succeed so badly back then and he wanted to be at your side while you did so.

Now here you were, succeeding, but where was Daniel?

Maybe that’s where some of his hostility lied. You didn’t need him, clearly. Or at least, that’s what he thought. 

The reality was, you wanted to prove you could do this without him, but you wished you didn’t have to. 

You were conflicted, you both were. And it didn’t help that you weren’t speaking civilly to each other because my god a simple conversation would probably do wonders for both of you. 

That was Lando’s thought, as he sat down next to you in the booth and handed you the glass of coke, no rum much to his dismay. You didn’t drink during the season, even if you had something to celebrate, Lando knew this. Champagne on the podium was the only exception.

Tonight, though, as you sat in your thoughts and replayed the image in your mind of Daniel smiling up at the screen, you figured that another exception wouldn’t hurt. 

You turned down the coke and grabbed his drink instead, downing it in one gulp and instantly regretting it because you were fairly certain it was tequila based and tequila just wasn’t something you ever enjoyed. Lando laughed and handed you the coke to chase it down with. 

“You’re letting loose tonight?” He asked, sitting down beside you. His arm stretched across the bench behind your shoulders. He didn’t even try stifling his chuckle as you struggled with the bitter taste left in your mouth.

“I need to,” you answered. 

“You deserve to,” he corrected. Lando reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet and then a sleek black card. He didn’t say anything to you, nor to the server who came by and knew that by him dropping the card on the table meant he was asking for bottle service. 

It wasn’t long before you had a row of shots to split between the two of you and a few others who had crowded the booth, some you knew, some you didn’t. Not that it mattered, you just wanted to drink, you didn’t care who you were with.

Lando being there was a godsend, though. He knew that you were a lightweight and told you that the glass in your hand was a vodka soda when in reality he asked the server for you to just be given water after a few hours of the most carefree drinking he had ever witnessed from you. 

The music was blaring, you had gotten up to dance at one point, but you kept finding your way back to the booth. Clubbing wasn’t your thing and Lando, whether he liked it or not, was an anchor for you tonight. He kept you safe, kept you from drowning in the sea of people and alcohol. 

He could do a lot that night, but he couldn’t prevent the inevitable storm that was Daniel Ricciardo making an appearance at that Austin night club.

Lando saw him first and turned to you with the intention of suggesting that you both called it a night. But no words came out when he saw the painful look of desire and despair mashed together on your features as you spotted the Australian driver. 

You didn’t drink often, but if you did, you would know that feelings are often elevated under the influence. You’d also know that alcohol lowers inhibition, giving you a false sense of security to say what was really on your mind.

“I don’t get it,” you spoke quietly and Lando leaned in closer to hear you over the music blasting from all corners. 

“Get what?”

You pulled your gaze off of Daniel before you could accidentally make eye contact and looked at your teammate instead. He seemed concerned for you, he always did when Daniel was involved. 

Lando always did what he could to get your mind off Daniel and the past. He was a good friend, a good person to have in your corner but he wasn’t who you wanted there at the end of the day. You had grown to love Lando, not in the way you loved Daniel, though, so you couldn’t deny that you wished it was the Aussie sitting next to you in the booth, celebrating your podium. You hated that you wanted that.

“Do you miss him, still?” Lando prompted, knowing you had lost your train of thought. 

When you shook your head, Lando gave you a look that clearly showed he didn’t believe you, but it was true. You didn’t miss Daniel. What you felt was much worse.

“I don’t miss him,” you answered, glancing towards him again. He stood at the bar talking to a girl that you envied because at least she was talking to him. “But I think he’s my missing piece.”

You hadn’t felt whole since the day you and Daniel split. You walked out of his flat but you left a piece of you there, a piece you desperately tried to get back through race weekends and training and distractions but it was no use. It would always belong to Daniel and you feared he had no intention of giving it back. You feared, that no matter how much time had passed, you’d always feel a little incomplete. 

You stood up to leave soon after, thanking Lando for the drinks and assuring him you’d send a text when you got back to the hotel. 

Lando tried to follow you to the door, wanting to tell you that he would go with you, the concerned friend making another appearance, but before he could get a word out he watched as someone cut him off, also making a direct line towards the door of the club.

It took Lando a second to realise it was Daniel who was walking after you now. Lando just stood there and raised his hand to the back of his neck, asking himself if he had just made a mistake by not stopping Daniel.

When Lando asked the next morning if Daniel spoke to you, you gave him a questionable look, telling him that you didn’t talk to him at all. Lando explained that he had seen Daniel leave the club right after you, but you just shrugged, chalking it up to getting into the uber before Daniel had the chance to catch up to you.

But Lando saw the photos. He, like everyone else, saw images of Daniel climbing into the car right after you. He wasn't the least bit surprised you lied about it. 

You didn't want to tell Lando that Daniel had grabbed the side of the car door before you could shut it, pulling it back just enough for him to slide into the backseat next to you. You shuffled over to make room, but you couldn’t get a single word out. All liquid courage vanished and instead your palms were clammy, the car felt stuffy and you couldn’t even look at him.

Daniel as well, didn’t say anything. His legs were spread out slightly, knee hitting yours as his hands were folded together in his lap. 

Why did he follow you?

This was the first time in ages you had been alone together, minus the driver. 

The hotel was a short drive away, but it felt like ages, the two of you sitting in uncomfortable silence. You weren’t bickering like you often did if you were in the same room, but at this point you’d rather that than whatever this eeriness was. 

You thought maybe, maybe, this was your saving grace. Maybe Daniel had followed you out of the club to tell you he was proud of you, to tell you he still loved you, to tell you he was tired of this feud and wanted you back.

But the longer you sat in silence, the more it sank in that that wasn’t the case. 

You used to love each other. Now you couldn’t even hold eye contact.

Daniel waited until the driver pulled onto the street of your hotel before saying anything. 

“Checo’s gone after this year.”

You turned to him, unsure if you had heard correctly. “What?”

“He’s gone,” Daniel repeated, more confident this time, still not looking at you though. “Marko told me on Friday.”

You had way too much alcohol flowing through your system to be able to process this. Checo’s contract wasn’t supposed to be up until the end of 2024. 

But Nyck’s wasn’t supposed to be up in June and Daniel’s wasn’t supposed to be done at McLaren in 2022. These things happened in Formula 1, as unfortunate as it was for the driver getting the boot, these things often happened. 

And Daniel…why did he know this information? Why didn’t the rest of the grid know it? Did Checo even know?

You inhaled sharply, “Does this mean-”

“The news is dropping tomorrow morning, but I wanted you to know first,” Daniel cut you off, his forehead creased with tension. His jaw was clenched, like he wasn’t happy to be saying this but felt the need to anyway. “I’m driving for Red Bull next year.”

The first thought that came to mind was he’s done it again. Taking another driver's seat before their contact ended. 2-1 now. He was officially a shittier person than you were and you so badly wanted to rub it in his face. 

But you could see now that that was why he told you personally. He didn’t want to wait until you heard the news like everyone else, he didn’t want to give you an opportunity to attack him for this, to make him feel like the bad guy even though that’s how he made you feel this entire season so far.

Surprisingly, it wasn’t all that difficult to bite your tongue. 

“Congratulations,” you settled on, quietly but you meant it and you caught him off guard because he truly was expecting some sort of lashing out. 

The driver pulled up to the hotel right at that second and you thanked him before stepping out, not giving Daniel a second look, again catching him off guard because you always looked back at him when you were together. 

Daniel waited a second. And then a few more before he bolted out of the car and into the hotel. You had made it to the elevator by that point and Daniel had to slide his hand between the doors to keep them from shutting. You watched as he pushed his way in and just like the car ride, said nothing.

You were on your way up to the twelve floor and Daniel waited until you arrived at the level before opening his mouth, waiting till the last second, wanting to cling onto this civil moment with you because who knew when it would come again?

“You’re not mad?” He asked.

The door opened and you had to brace yourself before standing up straight and walking out of the elevator, needing a moment to remember what side of the hall your room was on.

“I’m livid,” you answered, honestly. You were happy for him, but you were also angry about the situation. You didn’t know it was possible to feel both things at once, but in your drunk state, it was extremely possible. 

“Livid?” Daniel walked behind you, trying to gauge the rest of this conversation because you didn’t sound livid. 

“Enraged,” you said.

“Enraged,” he repeated.

“I want to wring your neck, Daniel,” you said, hearing him chuckle behind you because you didn’t sound the least bit threatening as you fumbled to unlock the hotel room door. The lock kept lighting up red and after your third failed attempt, Daniel took the card from your hand and unlocked it with ease, pushing the door open for you. 

You didn’t thank him, instead relying on the wall once you stepped inside to lean against as you pulled your heels off. Daniel followed you inside, standing at a cautious distance until you dropped your shoes because part of him thought that maybe you would throw them at him. You were enraged after all.

You weren’t sure why he was still there. He had told you what he wanted to tell you and he had no reason to still be hanging around. 

“What?” You finally asked, now sounding a little more on the annoyed side as you turned to stare at him. “What do you want? Why are you still here?”

“I want to talk.”

“About what?” You scoffed at him. “About the Red Bull contract? Congratulations, Danny. You deserve it. You deserve every fucking seat on this grid apparently.”

There it was.

“I knew you were mad.”

“I said I was mad!” You exclaimed, appalled that he was saying it like he discovered what you had already made perfectly clear. “I’m pissed, Dan. You have such a cult following that no one is going to bat an eye at you taking Checo’s seat, just like no one complained about you taking Nyck’s. Whereas I do it, I get offered the chance of a lifetime, to make history and I’m considered the villain? I didn’t end your contract, Daniel, I just replaced you and for some reason, no one cares about that narrative! They just care about you.”

You were yelling now. Daniel was probably regretting having followed you but it was too late for him to turn and walk out at this point.

“You know what the shitty part is?” You asked, stepping closer to him. Daniel could smell the vodka on your breath. That's how minimal the distance was between you. The last time you were this close you were wanting to rip his head off outside the AlphaTauri garage. 

“What?” He raised his eyebrows. Daniel couldn’t even begin to guess where you were going with this.

“This news is going to drop and my name is going to be circulating in the media again. They’re going to compare this, you taking his seat, to me taking yours. I will never be known as the first female signed to McLaren. I will forever be linked to you, no matter what you do in this fucking sport.”

You shook your head at him when he stayed silent. Pulling your eyes off of him, the heaviest exhale passed through your lips and you turned around, wanting this night to end. After you waved your hand in the air you muttered something about how he could see himself out.

But he didn’t go anywhere. 

And because he didn’t go anywhere and because you were drunk, you easily thought of more to say.

“You didn’t even like McLaren,” you sighed as you turned back around to face him, leaning against the wall. Your head was spinning. Maybe if you were lucky, this conversation wasn’t actually happening and it was a drunk figment of your imagination.

“No, but I loved you.” 

You definitely didn’t imagine him saying that.

“I loved you,” he repeated, the past-tense admittance felt like a stab to your chest. “And I wanted nothing more than to race alongside you without feeling the need to prove something, to be your partner off the grid. I wanted to love you and race at the same time and you ruined that.”

All you could do was shrug your shoulders. You had said everything you needed to say at this point in defence of your contract, “I’m a driver, Dan. The race, the seat, it comes first, everything else second. You of all people know that.”

“We could have had both.”

Both. Love and a spot in Formula 1. 

Clearly not.

“Could we have?” You asked, unsure if you even had an answer, but you needed him to really think about it. To think about it if that really was a possibility for the two of you. 

Daniel and you held each other's stares for a minute, waiting for the other to say something. You were still waiting, hoping, for him to say he was proud of you, that he still loved you, that it didn’t matter what happened in the past, but it did matter. Daniel was still waiting for a sincere apology, but you had nothing to apologise for. Signing that McLaren contract was the best thing you’d ever done for yourself, despite the strings to Daniel you had now found yourself tangled in, McLaren was where you were supposed to be.

“I’m tired, Dan,” you shook your head and glanced towards your room down the hall. Physically, mentally, you were drained. And you weren’t ready for what was to happen tomorrow when his contract news came to light.

It didn’t even feel like you had gotten a podium a few hours ago. The last thing you wanted to do was celebrate. You just wanted to crawl into bed and forget that Daniel had followed you here.

He didn’t stop you as you walked down the hall. He waited for you to look at him, but again, you were past that. What was a second look going to do at this point? You wiped your makeup off as best as you could and slid under the covers of your bed, quickly falling into a dreamless sleep.

And sure enough, the news dropped of his contract, of his new seat, and it wasn’t long before people started comparing it to what you had done the year prior. 

The first thing you saw when you woke up that morning, aside from the glass of water that Daniel had put next to your bed, was the news alert on your phone stating that Daniel was to replace Checo for 2024. 

The second article you read was about you. Speculating how you would feel about Daniel’s permanent return. The article highlighted the moments of your relationship, starting from the day he signed on to be your mentor to the time in the AlphaTauri garage when you were fighting over the qualifying lap he ruined.

And then there was a photo of you climbing into the car from last night, followed by Daniel getting into the car shortly after.

His name was trending. Your name was trending. Half the people online cared about his return to RBR. The other half wanted to know if you two were getting back together.

No one gave a single shit that you made history yesterday, landing that podium. 

You were the first female to score a podium position in Formula 1 and all anyone cared about was your connection to Daniel. Just like when you won the Monaco Grand Prix during F2, all anyone cared about was Daniel’s influence in your racing. When you were signed to McLaren, all anyone cared about was how you were replacing Daniel.

Daniel. Daniel. Daniel.

People didn’t care about your accomplishments. They only wanted to find a way to connect them all to Daniel.

You scrolled through the article and a new one was suggested for you at the bottom of it. Why Y/N Y/L/N Owes Her Career to The Honey Badger.

Instead of reading it, you threw your phone with as much strength as you had down the hall, out of your sight. You heard it hit the floor and slide across the hardwood. 

You couldn’t remember the last time you read something positive about yourself without a hint of Daniel’s influence. 

This wouldn’t have been as hard of a pill to swallow if he was still in your life the way you wanted him to be. If he really was still at your side, supporting you, cheering you on, you could look past the articles and speculations about how he was the only reason you were in the sport. It wouldn’t matter what people were saying if Daniel was in your ear reminding you of your potential, reminding you that you deserved that F1 seat.

But he wasn’t going to do that, not anymore. What you had was gone and you were left with the bitter memories and an unforgiving path you had to walk alone to prove yourself in this field.

You wanted to prove you didn’t need Daniel, but the entire world was making it their mission to remind you that at one point, you did. Maybe you still did, maybe you didn’t know who you were without him because let’s face it, everything you did on the track still revolved around him.

You cared about where he finished. You went out of your way to outscore him and only him. You didn’t do anything to relieve the tension in the paddock. You were very much playing into the narrative that he was still a key player in your life.

How could the world move on if you hadn’t?

Hearing footsteps make their way towards you, you sat up in bed, already knowing it was Daniel who didn’t leave when he should have.

You weren’t concerned about your appearance, he had seen you in a much worse state. He had better mornings as well, still wearing his clothes from last night, the bags under his eyes gave away the fact that he was about as tired as you were.

He had your phone in his hands, but he didn’t spend much time looking at the article on the screen. Instead, he dropped it to the table next to him and leaned against the doorframe, exhaling a heavy breath.

You didn’t move, content with the distance between you now because you had to be. Despite wanting nothing more than to be with him, you couldn’t have that anymore. Everything had to be at a distance.

Your phone chimed. Once, twice, and then about four more times. You knew it was people telling you about Daniel’s contract, not knowing that you had been given the inside scoop last night. 

At one point, you loved being connected to Daniel. Now, it was a burden. It was haunting. Each time someone mentioned him to you, sent you something about him, asked you a question about him, you were reminded that the connection was gone. 

Your lips parted and you had to take a quick, self-assuring breath before finally saying what had to be said.

“I don’t want to do this anymore.”

“Do what?” 

Your entire body trembled as you spoke, “You know what, Daniel.” 

Of course he did. He was as tired as you were. It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this and yet here you were, staring at each other knowing that you were both too far gone to ever find your way back. 

You thought, maybe, possibly, you could work things out. For a brief moment, when you knew he was proud of you, you thought you saw a silver lining amongst the grey skies. And maybe you did, maybe it was there, but it was way beyond your grasp. You couldn’t reach out and grab it, you could only dream of it.

There was one solution. One that broke you, knowing you were stuck with it. You didn’t want to admit it. You wished you could push it down and keep living the way you had but you just couldn’t do it anymore. 

You were tired. This was hopeless. You both needed closure, but he wasn’t going to say anything which meant you had to.

“I’m stuck, Daniel. I’m stuck living in the moments between the day we met and the day I left because those are the moments that meant the most to me and I haven't been ready to let them go. I’ve never wanted to move on but you forced me to. You forced me to become the bad guy, to do this without you, to grow without you, to prove that I don’t need you but I do need you, I’ve always needed you. From day one, I needed you. My first time in the F1 car, I needed you. If I crashed out, I needed you. I always needed you, Daniel, and then after a five minute conversation you decided that I didn’t anymore. You made that decision for me, for us.”

You paused, you took a breath, you weren’t done. Despite being so painfully close to breaking down, you weren’t done.

“And now here I am, finally succeeding, finally making history in this sport, but it doesn’t mean anything because no one cares unless they find a way to connect it to you. I will always be in the shadow of the man I love and for this entire season, I’ve let it happen because it was the only way you’d still be in my life.”

Daniel cleared his throat when he heard that four letter word, standing up a little straighter, “You still love me?”

You glanced down at the duvet wrapped around your hips. It was heavy, suffocating, much like this conversation. “Truthfully, Daniel, I can’t imagine the day I stop.”

Daniel didn’t need to say anything for you to know he no longer felt the same. He had stopped loving you the day you signed the contract with McLaren. He may have been proud of your achievements, he may have appeared to have extended a short olive branch, one that gave you false hope, but he didn’t love you. 

Because it always came back to that one question. How could he love you- how could he be in your corner when you had pushed him out of his own? You may not have been the one to initiate his leave, but you gave him that final shove. 

That was a move you had to live with. 

“I love you,” you repeated, your eyes then trailing towards your phone where that stupid article was still displayed on the screen. “I always will, but I can’t be tied to you anymore. I can’t do this anymore.”

Even though Daniel was the one that had broken up with you all those months ago, this hurt more. Hearing you finally cut ties, knowing you didn’t want to be done but had to be, broke him. There was no salvaging this. 

“I think-” your voice cracked as you spoke, but for the sake of this conversation you did your damn best to hold it together. “I think we need to be done.”

We are done, Daniel wanted to say, but he knew there was more to your words.

Watching your bottom lip quiver made him want to pull you into his arms one last time. He wanted to apologise and hold you close before the tears could fall. 

“No more comments to the media,” you stated firmly. Daniel nodded. 

You were stronger than him, maybe you always were. Daniel could barely get a word out and here you were, laying down what had to happen moving forward.

“No more interactions,” you then said, raising your hand to your arm, a soothing gesture or maybe an anxious one, he couldn’t tell. “No more- no more following me out of clubs for people to see. No more giving anyone a reason to connect us. I don’t want you in my life as anything more than another driver on the grid. You’re not my teammate. You’re not my partner. You’re not in my corner. I don’t want to worry about what you think about me anymore. I don’t want to worry about where you finish and I don’t want you to care about where I’m at. I want you to focus on driving just like I want to focus on driving. That’s it. That’s who we are. We’re drivers, Daniel. That’s all we’ve ever been. Strip back every layer of us and racing remains. That’s how it should be. We’ve-” you sucked in a breath, your words getting caught in your throat for a second. “We’ve always known that, I think. That at the end of it all, we’re drivers first. We were foolish to think we could be anything more.”

You couldn’t have both. You couldn’t be in love while on the grid together.

You were only ever drivers. That’s why you signed the McLaren contract. That’s why Daniel didn’t think twice before replacing Nyck and now Checo. You both put your careers first. It wasn’t selfish, it was in your blood, and you couldn’t hold it against each other anymore. 

And you couldn’t hold onto it either.

As much as you liked to think there would come a day where you would still be in love, both of you on the grid, you accepted now that it would never happen. It was a dream, one you had to let go of. You had to mend the hole in your chest that he created. You couldn’t let him be that missing piece.

You had to respect Daniel as a driver, much like he had to with you. But that was it. No more conversations. No more subtle comments made about each other or to each other. You needed distance. No more missed looks in the paddock, because surely someone with a camera would catch it. No more watching the screen if the other was showcased. No more petty feuds. No more interactions. No more caring.

You had to cut ties with Daniel. It was the only way you could focus on yourself and your career.

Surely, enough time would pass where an article would be written about you that didn’t mention his name and his assistance in getting you to where you were now. But that wouldn’t happen if you were still holding onto him. You had to let go for the rest of the world to.

Daniel pushed himself away from the wall without saying a word. You watched, tense, as he slowly made his way towards you and sat down next to you on the bed. Knees touching like they were in the car ride last night. As you turned your head and stared up at him, you could make out the details in his face that you used to cherish, that you had memorised so early on in your relationship. 

But he had changed. There was a sliver of unfamiliarity in his eyes, a reminder that this wasn’t the Daniel who was in love with you anymore.

You had to look away.

“It wasn’t supposed to be like this,” you whispered. You kept your hands folded in your lap, worried that if you unclenched your fingers you would reach out for him. 

Daniel nodded, agreeing with you. He raised his arm up, tucking it over your shoulders and pulling you against his side. You inhaled a sharp breath at the gesture, knowing this would be the last time you’d feel his touch. He rubbed his hand over your arm, neither of you thinking to say anything else, because there really was nothing left to say.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

You were supposed to be in love. 

And maybe, in another world, you would be. If you didn’t make the move to F1, you could still be in love. If you settled with F2, if you moved to a different series, he could still support you and you could still be his biggest fan. 

But you were drivers. Career focused, determined, passionate drivers who wanted nothing more than to win. You both craved the honour and prestige of a Formula 1 seat more than anything, more than each other. You’d be lying if you thought otherwise.

You were drivers, so inevitably, it was always going to end like this.

__________________

is this the finale or is there one more chapter for these loveless drivers?

taglist: @torossosebs@whatthefuckerr@jspitwall@oconso@tsarinablogs@landowecanbewc@somanyfandomsbruh@christianpulisic10@storminacloud@sunnytkm23@formula1mount@azxulaa@icarus-nex@spideyspeaches @moonvr @destourtereaux @baw-sixteen @cinderellawithashoe @love4lando @alesainz @blueanfield @itsmeempar @vellicora

for some reason im struggling to add anyone else to the taglist, i deeply apologise. i would recommend turning on post notifs but i know its sometimes annoying, but i rly am struggling with my mentions

[askinkiskarma]

High Infidelity

Adult!Neteyam x (f)Metkayina!Reader x Ao'nung

Warnings: cheating, smut (fingering, oral - f receiving, praise kink), cursing, 18+ minors dni

Word count: 3.7k words

Notes: oops, was supposed to write other things, but listening to this song triggered smth in my brain so here it is x enjoy ;)

next part (x)

Do you really want to know where I was April 29th?

Do I really have to chart the constellations in his eyes?

“I’m tired, we can do it tomorrow.” 

“Ao’nung, we haven’t been swimming together in months. We’re supposed to be together for the rest of our lives, you’d think I wouldn’t have to drag you outside to spend time with me every other day.”

“Maybe if you stopped nagging me like we’re already mated, I would be more inclined to want to spend time with you.” 

You couldn’t stop the tears falling down your cheeks any less than your legs making a run for it at the slightest pushback from your mate-to-be. Running away was the only time you felt free anymore. You loved Ao’nung. He’s been in your life… well, your whole life. There was little of you that wasn’t tied back to him and there was little of him that wasn’t embedded in you. You grew up together, Tsireya’s best friend and confidant, Ronal’s long-lost daughter, it seemed. You might as well be, since your parents were never around anyway, not to raise you, or to teach you better than to accept such treatment from a boy, who had been sweet and kind to you all your life, until he realised you liked him, until he realised that no matter how little he gave, you would cling on to it for dear life, you would pretend a drop of water was a fountain, and that it could sustain your thirst until the next drop came. 

You didn’t stop until you hit the beach, that was deserted this time of night, and sat down on the warm, soft sand. You sighed, allowing yourself the kindness of respite, of crying it out without shame, without constraint, without being made to feel stupid for being soft. You felt so foolish, so used and yet somehow so useless, at the same time. You were deep in thought, so deep in your own sorrow, that felt like it was drowning you, keeping your head forcefully underwater until there was no more breath in your lungs, that you missed the steps tracking closer until a tall form was towering above you.

 

“Are you alright?”

You shot up and onto your feet, pried out of your anguished reverie and shaking from the scare of another person, at a time and place you thought you would have the safety of solitude. You immediately recognised the young man sitting across from you, the rhythmic bioluminescent waves shining over his face, making him glow with ethereal beauty unlike anything you’ve ever seen before. It was hard not to know who he was, as him and his family have been the talk of the village for a while now, the buzz surrounding their arrival constant and unending. Neteyam Te Suli Tsyeyk’itan, the son of Jake Sully, the Olo’eyktan of the Omatikaya and the Sixth ever Toruk Makto. Everybody knew his story, everybody admired him, for his valiant win over the demons that took so much from the Na’vi and from the Planet. Now there he was, in your village, with his whole family, asking for Uturu, asking for a new chance, asking to be trained in the Metkayina ways. 

Neteyam Sully was a beautiful man. Tall and muscular, his body was a deep shade of blue, so unlike your own, so unlike anything you’ve ever known. His stripes were even darker, an intense indigo that reminded you of the night sky, of the sea during a heavy storm, and the contrast was hypnotising, so hypnotising, in fact, you couldn’t stop the booming in your heart or the way you were shamelessly staring at his arms and chest. His hand went to your chin, and he brought your face upwards to get you to look in his eyes. You swore your breath stopped when he touched you, all of your 18 years of breath practice and your phenomenal control right out the window. His eyes were bright like the stars in the night sky, which might as well have been dull and pointless when compared to the freckles on his face, that shone brilliantly and moved upwards as his lips lifted in a soft smile. 

“Can you hear me?” 

You shook your head lightly, trying to push the thoughts out of your head and bring the sane ones back in. 

“Y-yes, I can. Sorry.”

“You don’t have to be sorry. I just wanted to make sure you are alright. You seemed… upset.”

His hand didn’t drop from you chin, and his lingering touch sent shivers down your back that reached the tips of your fingers and toes before dissipating and being replaced with new ones, electrifying your entire being. 

This was wrong. You were promised to another man. To the future Olo’eyktan. You had no business getting shivers down your spine, no business getting lost in his eyes, no business feeling feelings you have never felt before, not with Ao’nung, not with anybody else. You took a step back and watched and his hand fell from your face limply besides his body. 

“I’m alright. Thank you for checking, you are very kind. I should probably go now. It’s late.” 

You didn’t look behind you as you passed him and headed hurriedly back towards the village, hoping this way you could outrun him, the emotions he evoked in you, the shame that followed and the guilt that you knew was lurking menacingly in the shadows. 

“I’m sorry for being such a dick. Forgive me?” 

The shell he was holding out in his palms was gorgeous, everything you liked about the world and the sea wrapped in a tiny, magical package. He knew what you liked, he knew you very well, a thought that made you despondent. If he knew you, that means he knew what he was doing to you. He knew the feelings that plagued you, feelings that he brought upon you, that his actions brought upon you, and he still did them - unapologetically, at least until the last second, when he came asking for forgiveness, which you granted every time. He raised an index finger to your chin and lifted your head and you couldn’t help the booming in your ears when the action reminded you of the Omatikaya boy and the night you’ve pointlessly tried your best to forget about the past couple of weeks. 

As your lips touched, a messy, sloppy kiss, filled with intention and need, you felt your heart drop to your stomach as not even this kiss, passionate as it was, invoked a fraction of the same reaction in your body as Neteyam’s one touch. Still, you loved Ao’nung. You always have. You were to be a mated pair soon. You were to be together…forever. He moaned as he deepened the kiss and you smiled at knowing, despite everything, it was you who made him feel this way. He might be acting out now, but he loved you, he wanted you. And one day, he’ll love you enough to show you in more ways than just the one. 

“I still have to teach the Omatikaya, how about you come with me?”

“NO!” 

Ao’nung looked at you curiously and tried to understand where this reaction was coming from. You knew you exaggerated and had to calm yourself if you were to not raise any suspicion. Not that there was anything to raise, you didn’t do anything wrong. And yet still, you couldn’t stop the nagging feeling, the lingering thought that you had to lie, that what happened had to stay between you and the eldest Sully. 

“I’d rather not, I have other things to do around the village anyway.”

Ao’nung scoffed and rolled his eyes irately. 

“You know, you keep saying we never spend time together, but then you pull this shit. I’m busy, you know? I can’t always entertain you whenever you want.” 

You felt the all-too-familiar sinking feeling take over your mind again, just like the tears that formed almost instantly at his words, threatening you, praying for one moment of weakness so they’d fall and make a mess out of you again. 

“Ao’nung… I come most times you ask. Every time you ask, in fact, which is very rarely. I just can’t right now. I’ll wait for you to come by my marui tonight. My parents aren’t home.” 

Why did you do that? Why did you ask him to come? He didn’t deserve it. He didn’t deserve you. You made a promise, though. To the clan, to the Tsa’hik and Olo’eyktan. To him. It was an unbreakable promise, a sacred bond. You were mere weeks away from completing your Iknimaya, short time away from giving yourself to him, allowing him to do to you what you knew was the ultimate form of intimacy, what you’ve wondered about for years, what you’ve been craving for the last few weeks. 

You walked on the beach, the same beach, a beach most Metkayina didn’t come to, as it was out of the way and filled with big rocks and greenery that took away from the beauty of it all and the usual uninterrupted patch golden sand which people liked to lie on, to feel, as it grazed their sea-green skin. You hoped the walk would clear your mind, a hope that quickly vanished from sight as a certain cerulean Na’vi tapped you gently on the shoulder, making you jump out of your skin. He laughed softly, his sharp, pronounced canines coming swiftly into view, and you felt a sudden urge to touch them, to see if they were indeed as sharp as they looked. Could they draw blood? Could they pierce your skin easily, as they grazed over you, over your neck, over your -

“Sorry I scared you. I was hoping I’d run into you again.”

“I…” you took a deep breath in a futile effort to calm your nerves. “I thought you were training with Ao’nung.” 

He eyed you intently, his gaze trailing over your face and landing on your lips. You opened them slightly to accommodate the deeper breaths you felt the need to take, like your body needed an increase in its oxygen intake to keep up with the intensity of his presence. 

“I was, but my dad needed me for something. I’m on my way there now.” 

Your hand felt like it caught on fire as his fingers wrapped around it, lifting it up in front of you until your palm was facing upwards and he dropped a bracelet in it, closing your hand with a touch of his hand and letting you go. 

“You lost this, that night on the beach? I have been meaning to give it back to you, but you have a way of eluding me, it seems.” 

You opened your hand again and inspected the item that was now residing in it. It was a bracelet you got as a gift when you were much younger, when your mateship with Ao’nung was first announced. Your shoulders dropped at its sight. It was pretty, and ornate, and a bitter reminder of what was beautiful and has now soured through time, like fruit left outside on a hot day. 

“Thank you. I appreciate you finding it for me. It’s very precious to me.”

He chuckled a little, unable to keep the sarcasm from coating his tongue. 

“Is it? It’s been weeks since you’ve lost it, and the way you reacted makes me think you didn’t even realise it was gone.”

You took a step back at his words and felt your ears flattening in response. Your dour expression must have taken him by surprise, just like his words did you, because he took a step towards you and spoke. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to infer. You know better than me what this means to you. It was rude of me, and I apologise.” 

You couldn’t help staring at him once more, wide-eyed and bushy tailed, unable to understand the words that were coming out of his mouth. He… apologised? He said something untoward and he just… apologised? You don’t think this has ever happened to you. You didn’t think that was possible, not to you, at least. Other girls, your friends, had mates like that, had relationships that were… well, happy. They were happy, and filled with love and lust and passion, with sleepless nights and midnight swims, with lingering touches and anticipating gazes, filled with feelings of flickering flames and wondrous woes, filled with so many things you’ve never felt before, with all the things you were feeling right in this second. 

“So you are Ao’nung’s mate?”

Why was he asking you this? Why now?

“Mate-to-be.” You whispered, knowing that if your voice was any louder, it would be shaky and breathy. 

He nodded to himself, looking deep in thought as his eyes darted to your much smaller body and then over in the distance, at the waves crashing on the beach. 

“Why are you asking, Neteyam?” 

His step faltered a little as you said his name, but he regained his composure almost immediately, falling back into step with you, as if it never happened. His face gave little away, although his tail was moving behind you furiously, running up and down the back of your thighs in their haphazard motion. You felt heat pool in the pits of your abdomen at the quick brush of the soft appendix, that you tried to will away to no avail. 

“Take care of yourself. I should go train with your mate.” 

And just like that he left, leaving you to deal with your chagrinned heart and leering mind, all on your own. 

He didn’t show. Once more, you waited for hours in your tent, until way past eclipse, and your mate didn’t show. You were crying in your hammock, trying to undo the hurt in your heart, hoping that if you cry hard enough it will just escape through your tears duct and be gone from your body once and for all. You were playing with the bracelet he gave you so long ago, cursing it and cursing him for the years of hurt and pain, the years of broken promises and shattered expectations, and with newfound determination, you dropped it on the floor and left for your beach. 

You were a little surprised when you found Neteyam sitting peacefully on the beach, looking into the darkness that enveloped the sea for the night, only the glimmer of the bioluminescent plankton being hit by the soft waves visible. You swallowed audibly, and made your way to this man you had some sort of unspoken connection to, trying to ignore the way your heart thumped in your chest at the mere sight of him. 

His ears twitched as he made out your presence, but he didn’t made any effort to acknowledge it otherwise. 

“He didn’t show, did he?”

“H-how did you…?”

“I overheard you. In the morning.” He got up and turned around to face you, a fervid look on his face that made your legs quiver and push together to accommodate the feeling growing in between your thighs. 

“Why were you so adamant about not coming training with us?”

“I was… busy.” 

His body got closer to you, closer and closer, regardless of how many steps back you were taking, regardless of the fact that you made every effort to get away from his presence that overwhelmed your every sense, clouded your every critical thought and replaced it with a blabbering mess of heightened emotion and need. You gasped loudly when your back hit the trunk of a tree and you realised there was nowhere to go anymore. No place to hide, nothing to do but deal with it, with him. 

“You’re lying. Don’t lie to me.”

His beautiful aureate eyes were fixed on your face, an ardent, hungry look haunting them, haunting you. Your knees were weak and wobbly, cowering under the weight of his presence, under the weight of the lust washing over you. His hands raised to your face, and the rough calloused feel of his fingertips made you pant, made you fantasise about how they would feel against other parts of you that desperately craved attention. 

What are you doing? This is wrong. This is so wrong. 

“He doesn’t deserve you.”

You knew as his face was closing in on yours that you were doomed, that you didn’t have it in you to stop him, that you didn’t want to stop him. You knew that this kiss would mark a point of no return, a path of illicit affairs and unspeakable secrets, and that nothing could ever take it back, but you didn’t care. You wanted to know what it felt like, to be wanted, to be owned, to feel special.

His lips were nothing like his hands, instead they felt feathery and soft, and he tasted sweet, like a ripened fruit or like a child’s laughter. The kiss was hungry and needy, like you were, and your lips were brushing over each other, devouring any ounce of sanity still left in you as his tongue trailed over your lips and into your mouth, and you welcomed him with your own, allowing yourself to taste him, allowing him to taste you, to explore you. 

“I want you. I want you so badly, I want you to know what you do to me. I want to show you what you deserve.”

He broke the kiss to place new, wet ones along your jaw and down your neck, and your couldn’t help the moan that escaped you and the way your head threw back, chest heaving at the sensation, at his maddening words. His lips were roaming your body, licking and sucking and biting on every inch of your torso and abdomen, like he was uncovering uncharted territory and wanted to know every secret within it. He knelt in front of you as he reached your hips, and you found yourself using the very limited amount of critical thinking you still had to push his head away from where you knew he was headed, from where you desperately wanted him, from where you knew he couldn’t be. 

“No. We can’t. This is wrong.”

“Yes. Yes, we can. You can, and you should. You should see what you’re missing out on by being promised to him. Let me show you how good it can be. How good I can make you feel.” 

He tightened his hand around one of your thighs and plopped it on his shoulder and then wrapped his fingers in the waistband of your loincloth, untying it easily. You groaned as the breeze hit your now uncovered core and shut your eyes tightly when the sight made Neteyam let out a wild, throaty moan that made you feral. 

“Look at that. You’re already ready for me. You’re dripping wet, that’s how badly you want this. How can something that feels this good ever be wrong?” 

You were a hyperventilating mess as his face got so close to your folds, you could feel his warm breath on you. A kiss is all it took for you to melt under his touch, for all reason to leave your being, every memory of your promised mate erased from your mind, like he never existed. Like nothing ever existed outside of this man, outside of the feelings he evoked in you. He pushed his tongue inside of you and you pushed out unintelligible noises, that got louder the harder he thrusted in you, the more his lips moved fluidly and skilfully on you, sucking and biting until the pleasure was coiling inside of you like a spring ready to give out at any blow of the wind. His tongue was swiftly replaced with a finger, and the foreign sensation made you squeeze your legs together as you discovered it, as you revelled in it. 

“You’re taking it so well, baby girl. So well. Think you can do one more finger?” 

You had no words, no words could be formulated in your state, so you just nodded aggressively, bucking your hips against him and he chuckled. 

“So needy. Needy for my fingers, huh?” 

He didn’t wait for an answer as he retracted his middle finger and pushed it back in, adding the ring finger, until he reached a spot that made you scream out, eyes rolling in the back of your head. 

“That’s it, that’s the spot. Feel good? You like being fingered, you like my mouth on this needy cunt, huh?”

His words made you a mewling mess, and you felt the pressure in your core build up and you knew it was building up towards a release that would take everything out you, that would ruin you, just like he was ruining you. 

“I can feel you squeezing my fingers. I want to see you come, I want to taste your cum on my tongue, baby girl. Come for me. Show me how good I make you feel.”

His tongue found his way back to your clit, licking and sucking while maintaining an unrelenting pace of his fingers and with little warning, your orgasm washed over you like a rogue wave in the middle of an ocean of pleasure, overtaking you, drowning you in him, in this feeling you never wanted to end. 

He smirked as he got up and kissed you, and you loved the taste of yourself on him, loved it in all its unholy, nefarious, sinful glory. His thumb brushed your lips as he spoke.

“One day, you’re going to beg me to fuck you. And I’ll do it so well, you will never be able to get me out of your mind, never be able to touch yourself again without an image of my cock slipping in and out of you ingrained in your brain.” 

He walked away without looking at you. 

“Sleep well.” 

pt. 2? maybe? maybe not?

[affableramen]

They return home drunk ~ genshin impact men x you, the reader

Suitable for characters: Neuvillette, Pantalone, Ayato.

Tags: gender neutral reader.

Notes: I dunno what this is. Very silly.

You heard the door open into your house and you identified it was your long-expected s/o. You have been meaning to call him as you got occasionally worried. However as soon as the door was shut with what seemed a lazy motion according to the silent noise, you realised it was actually nothing to worry about. Your boyfriend just appeared to be silly.

“Darling?” You tried to reach him with your voice.

The door was finally shut, and the next sound you heard was a groan of disappointment. “Gah!” His heavy body fell against the wall. You walked out of your room and went to the stairs to have a proper look. You tried to suppress your laugh when you saw him in such a ridiculous state.

“Darling! What—”

“…No one loves me. I am so lonely. So poor and pathetic”, he said as he started approaching the stairs but of course, he had to not notice the first step and naturally bumped into it. The fall could not be called gracious as your man did not foresee the barrier. You immediately started going downstairs to lend him a hand yet he raised his palm and stopped you.

“I’m fine, I can take care of myself”, he glared at you with the eyes full of annoyance and shifted his weight to the side. “I don’t need help of some… heroes”, he spat.

The colder man held onto the staircase for a few seconds, heavily breathing, rubbing his nose and muttering something unintelligible before he moved up. There was such distance, such melancholy in the aura around him, that was quite a sight. You were left to wonder where and with whom he had to gulp so much. Seeing that the man did not need your help you returned to your room and laid in the bed. It was quite late, in fact. You grabbed the book you paused in and looked forward to seeing more cringe from your beloved, but incredibly drunk person.

There was dim light in your room- you had a weird habit of reading if not in a complete darkness. After all, too much light was bad for migraines, you thought. And just when you relaxed you heard heavy, long footsteps approaching your room. You put your book to the side and met the man with a curious gaze.

“I thought you did not want to talk?”

“I don’t want talking”, he barked briefly. His eyes, even if alcohol-hazed, were gloomily glowing in the darkness.

The man was going straight into the room, heading to your bed and as he finally crawled to the area, he unwrapped his outer coat and revealed his shirt, (unbuttoned on the top as if he was feeling hot, made him look sexier).

“Why do you look disheveled? You been with someone?”

“You fool”, he climbed onto the bed and shifted his weight on top of you, grasping you tightly and gently at the same time. “Of course I wasn’t. I just felt hot. How could I cheat���” gasp, “…on a gorgeous little prince/princess like you.”

You pulled your hand into his hair and played with some locks. A satisfied moan escaped his dry lips as his face muscles gave up and he relaxed in your embrace.

“I thought you were unhappy with something.”

He moved away for a sec and looked into your eyes deeply, and caressed your cheek.

“I am most unhappy with myself… Take a look at me closely. I am so loser, am I not?”

“No”, with a swift motion you got into a sitting position where both of you were in front of each other. “Not at all. Let me hold you, would you like it?” You were tenderness itself when you were with this man. It was only for him.

“Very much, hold me please. I only allow you to see me like this. You’re the one who accepts me. I cannot imagine my life without you anymore.”

“There, there… It’s the alcohol saying in you.”

The man shook his head.

“No, I mean what I say. No one out there understands me, not one… except for you. But loving you is my torture AND bliss; I hate that I have feelings for you. I know that I should not. I am used to distance myself from the people, I have long forgotten what it is like to trust… Being affable and friendly on public has nothing in common with being not hostile internally. I despise so much around me, yet I never let it be displayed. My people have to witness a perfect image… a designed, refined statue such as I present to them. And sometimes, this façade makes my inner feelings boil even more. Because I know how deep down I despise those I smile to…”

“Pookie… You are forcing these silly thoughts attack you again. I told you to get more sleep, but you always do as you please.”

“See? I am so selfish.”

“I did not mean that. I am only saying that you should consider my advice… once in a while.”

“You are too caring, baby. You deserve a better man, less troublesome.”

“Let me choose for myself”, you brushed his cheek with the back of your hand. “Besides, if you had these pent-up feelings, you know you can always come to me for a little chat.”

“I see… But I did not wish you to tolerate the pathetic condition that I am in,” he laughed at himself. “Well, this one ain’t better. This one might be even worse.”

“I don’t mind your ‘pathetic’ condition. You look rather charming, love.”

The man leaned towards you placing his head on your shoulder, his cheek rubbing against you. As you put your hand over his hair, caressing it once more, you heard silent, yet calm breathing.

“Uh, the alcohol got him.”

Attempting to not disturb the peaceful sleep of your darling, you deliberately pushed him back onto your bed, making sure the pillows were comfortably enough beneath his head, and covered him with the duvet.

“We’ll talk again tomorrow. Sleep tight.”

[r-riri]

dont smile - oikawa toru

(credits @strangergraphics-archive for the divider)

word count- 508

angst

"hey hey! iwa my phone" oikawa cried reaching for his blue cladded phone that was now in the steel grip of iwa's hand

"no, i am deleting their contacts right now, im sick of your incessant whining about them, you broke up with them" he seethed angrily, shoving his hand away, already opening oikawa's phone searching for their contacts "really? pretty thing? that what their contacts were? god" iwaizumi judged clicking the information button ready to delete it

"you cant do that, thats a invasion of my private life" oikawa yelled reaching for the phone "what if they need me! what if they cant contact me because of this!" he tried to reason coming up with stupid excuses to leave their number in his phone because he just wasn't ready to actually break the bound they once had stitched so closely together, he wasn't ready to never be able to have a direct line of communication to them at all times

"if its an emergency they can contact the emergency services, and they have plenty of other people they can call" iwa easily bushed the concerns that oikawa had already seeing though his ploy to come up with stupid excuses because he wasn't ready to let it go

"if you wanted to keep this, you shouldnt have broken up with them, but no, things got to real when graduation is around the corner and you are too scared to grow up and face the fact that relationships will have hardships" iwa kept pushing, he was sick and tired of constantly hearing about his stupid relationship and how he was in it for the long run because they were, but then two weeks ago what was stupidly tooth rotting because incessant whining about how the relationship would break apart once he moved to Argentina

oikawa stood there breathing heavily staring at iwa, the anger in his eyes, the sharp stinging anger was enough to remind him of how they looked when he told them he wanted to break up

'i just cant stay with you anymore' he stood out front of their single apartment handing back the key they once gave him so he could enter the apartment when he needed

'the hell do you mean 'ru, i cant believe you're doing this after 3 fucking years, this is ridiculous' they scoffed ripping the key from his hand 'you know what? i hope you get what you dream of in this life but i hope i never hear your name ever again

he remembered the moment all too well, the moment he realised this wasnt some nightmare he had frequently, this was happening. he just broke up with the one person he loved and now they are out with some other guy while he is sitting here begging his best friend to let him keep their phone number because with out it he knows he'd dig himself into a hole that will be inescapable

he needs to get them back, he needs his oxygen again, he needs them back.

[wosokirby]

Lauren James x Chelsea!reader

“I don’t know what you mean, there’s no flirting going on. It’s just a drink calm down you two”

It wasn’t though.

It was never ‘just’ a drink.

Lauren James x Chelsea! reader

2.7k ish words

Another glass of rosé wine was placed in front of you on the table and you’d have almost missed it appearing if it wasn’t for the grin Erin gave you and the hand squeezing your shoulder.

Looking up above you LJ stood dropping off yet another drink for you almost like your own personal waiter for the evening. She gave you a quick smile before going back to the bar where a few of your team mates were stood.

“God will you two get over this or actually speak to each other” Erin groaned before picking up your new glass and taking a swig.

“Erm excuse me that’s mine thank you”

“You’ve had enough free drinks already!”

“Don’t be jealous you’ve got no friends Erin” you laughed as you took the wine glass out of her hand and setting it back in front of you. “What are you talking about anyway?”

“I don’t think just friends buy drinks all night for each other, and they certainly don’t silently flirt with each other” Erin sighed giving Guro a nudge with her elbow, as she seemed to be pointing out the oblivious, or at least obvious to everyone but you.

“Yes the flirting its so not subtle anymore” Guro agreed with Erin.

“I don’t know what you mean, there’s no flirting going on. It’s just a drink calm down you two”

It wasn’t though.

It was never ‘just’ a drink.

It was four or maybe five drinks tonight… and your dinner that Lauren had paid for before you met up with the rest of the Chelsea team at the busy bar you were now in.

When you think about it LJ did lots of that, a coffee on your pre match walk. A cup of tea was usually waiting for you when you got to training in the morning. A bottle of water after a match or if you were subbed off after her was silently handed to you.

It had all become a habit, so much so that you’d not really noticed it all any more. And when you did you assumed it was just Lauren being nice. Or at least that was what you had convinced yourself it was after you’d lost all hope that the feelings you had for her were reciprocated.

It must have been all in your head that she could feel the same way after you’d not been so subtle with some of the messages you tried to send her way once you realised the feelings were more than just the one you had for your other friends. Lauren was easily your closest person on the team and with the Lionesses. The two of you were always together.

While you spent a lot of that time taking any chance to glance over at Lauren, slightly mesmerised by her in certain moments, particularly on the pitch. Her talent could be seen by anyone with eyes, but not many people saw more than that. LJ is a private person she didn’t tell anyone much, unless you were a close friend, about her love life. Not that she found much time for that anyway. Training, the gym and focussing on all things football were her priorities.

Still she found time for you, afternoons and evenings were often spent at one of your places or in each others hotel rooms. Chatting, extra training, trash tv watching all just seemed to make the time go by far too quickly for your liking. You truly enjoyed every second you spent with Lauren, it was becoming more difficult to put your feelings aside but you knew it was important for your friendship that you didn’t let it slip. Lauren confessing her feelings or just sweeping you up after a goal celebration and kissing you remained just day dreams that kept you up when you were apart.

She didn’t feel the same, she couldn’t. She would have told you by now, you are each others best friend and no secrets were kept from you. So you were content as much as you could be with what you got, a couple of drinks and the occasional present she picked up just because it made her think of you would be enough for you.

But the candles that were beginning to take over your flat, the soft blankets she knew you could never have enough of and the cuddly kangaroo that sat on your bed every day, as a memory from the World Cup were treasured possessions for you. But just presents from one friend to another you thought.

“Leave it, please” It was not the most convincing argument to put forward to the girls who were at the very least bored of your pinning after your team mate.

“No it’s something you can’t ignore now, you need to speak to Lauren or we’ll make you” Erin boldly stated still with a bit of a smirk on her face letting you know it was at least a bit entertaining to wind you up.

“Make me by doing what guys? There’s nothing to say even if I did like Lauren, which I don’t, it’s not like she would be the same. She just sees me as a friend.”

“Oh come on that’s not true and you know that” Erin exclaimed, taking the lead on the pre planned conversation her and Guro were now launching on to you. They had encouraged each other to ask the both of you what was going on, and maybe with you a few drinks down they could push you and Lauren together.

“I’m going to the toilet, back in a min” You say pushing yourself back in your chair and leaving the table before they could say anything otherwise.

After weaving through the crowd you realised just how many drinks you had consumed that night, as you sat down you could feel the room swaying a little.

Still feeling a little lightheaded you wandered back through to the table, and after rounding a corner you bumped into a figure muttering a sorry before realising who it was.

“It’s alright it’s just me” Lauren said. She had caught hold of your arm to catch you before you had the chance to fall and her hand had come up to rest on your waist, resting on the skin in between your crop top and jeans, as she spoke to you.

“Are you ok? I just came to check on you”

“I’m fine I just think I’ve had a bit more to drink than I realised. I might need to sit down” you laughed. It wasn’t like you were falling over drunk but you were feeling the effects of those drinks Lauren had so kindly got you.

“C’mon then” LJ turned to walk back to where you had been sat before and you followed. The bar was pretty dimly lit and crowded, to keep track of you Lauren reached behind and held her hand out for you to hold. She led you through to the table and pulled out your chair, once you were sat she crouched down with her hand still holding yours.

“I’ll get you some water do you want anything else?”

You shook you head and Lauren left you at the table, you weren’t alone for long as Erin and Guro now joined by Sam and Millie took the opportunity to pounce on you.

“Why don’t you just tell your girlfriend you love her?” Sam teased from the other side of the table while the others giggled. It was harmless teasing and you all knew it wasn’t meant to offend you, it just cut a bit close to home this time.

“LJ told me you went on a date with her earlier you know” Millie said, glancing over her shoulder to check that LJ wasn’t within earshot.

“Ooooh” was the collective sound that came from the rest of the group who seemed to have never heard any gossip more exciting than this as they squealed in delight at Millie’s news.

“Alright, I think that’s me done for the night. Stop shit stirring guys” you laughed along with them, moving round the table you hugged each of them and said a quick goodbye promising to catch up again at training on Monday.

“Sorry it took a while” LJ said placing a glass of water into your hand when you met her near the bar. You downed the water appreciating the gesture. “You heading out?” She asked noticing the bag on your shoulder.

“Yeah I’m shattered, and them lot are getting annoying” you pointed behind you at the girls still giggling away.

“I’ll book an Uber now” She said pulling out her phone.

“No it’s alright I’ll book it, you picked me up on the way, on the way to our date…” you trailed off. You weren’t fully sure if Millie had been joking and feeling quite tipsy you maybe were letting the teasing get to you. You looked at Lauren whose attention had now been turned away from her phone. “Let’s just go it’s loud in here”

LJ took your hand and like she had earlier led you through the bar and outside, she still had her phone in her hand ready to book an Uber to collect you both before you could argue with her.

“You really should let me pay for something at some point you know Lauren” you sighed with a smile as the two of you stepped outside. “Never” LJ smirked holding the door open for you.

“I’d feel much better if you just let me take you home”

“Only if you come back with me then, I get lonely without you”. You said leaving against her, resting your head on her should for a brief moment.

LJ nodded and confirmed she’d booked just one cab to go to your address already, like she already knew what you’d ask her to do. You weren’t waiting for too long it wasn’t a weekend or too late so you were thankful when the car pulled up and LJ spoke to the driver before opening the rear door for you. You climbed in the car shuffling through as far as the middle seat so LJ could slide in next to you without walking round the car.

The window was cracked down slightly letting in a breeze that seemed to help you sober up but the tiredness was setting in. A hand rested on your leg giving your thigh a squeeze, when you turned to look at LJ she was already looking right at you. You weren’t sure if it was the eye contact or the the close proximity that made your stomach do little flips. She had this effect on you a lot more than you’d want to admit. You moved your hand to rest on top of hers giving it a reassuring nudge as she moved it slightly further up and into your inner thigh.

‘Fuck’ you thought, was this really happening? Suddenly you were no longer feeling so tired. You gave a small smile to Lauren that she returned, her eyes glancing down to your lips and back up. The car slowed down as it rounded a corner and you glanced away and out of the front window of the car to see that you were just round the corner from your flat. Once you had thanked the driver you followed LJ out of the car and took her hand as she watched you get out of the car.

Fumbling through your bag for your keys you walked towards the main door for your flat, once you had found them and opened the door you looked behind you to LJ who stood close by. This time as you lead her inside and up the couple of flights of stairs you took the lead and reached for her hand first, you didn’t need her to take you through a crowd just simply to be there. Opening up your door walking through to your lounge you let Lauren shut and lock the door as she quickly follows you.

Flopping down into the corner seat of your sofa you kicked off your shoes and relaxed into the seat, glad to be back home. “Comfy?” LJ said as you sat almost laying down, you could feel her sit next to you getting close once again. “Very, I could fall asleep now” you murmured your eyes closed.

“We should go to bed then”

“Give me a min”

Sitting in what was comfortable single for a few moments grew to another tension filled moment just like there had been in the taxi. When you slowly opened your eyes LJ was looking down at her hands, you gave in to what felt right and moved forward to slip your hand into hers. She moved one of her hands to link with yours and cupped your hand with both of hers still looking down at them.

It was such a comfort you, the soft touch of her hand against yours. It wasn’t just a joke what the girls had said at the bar, it was a date and it really could be that Lauren liked you back. You could feel all of that being expressed just by the physical contact you shared. You had to take that leap and say it. Lauren was the more shy of the two of you so really if you didn’t say it now you weren’t sure she’d be ready to take to leap first.

“Will you kiss me, please?” You spoke softly, almost afraid that if you spoke to loudly, to harshly it would scare her away or disrupt the moment. For no longer than a few seconds, yet it felt like an age, your team mate and best friend sat there not moving away but also not moving to fulfil your ask. It wasn’t often LJ didn’t do want you asked her to, she went out of her way to do a lot for you, to make you happy and smile. But you couldn’t doubt that it was what she wanted too.

Especially not when she turned her head to you, her hands leaving yours as she budged closer to you to sit almost in between your legs leaving some small distance between you and her. You leant forward meeting her in the small gap and she looked straight at you, taking the sight of you in before leaning in her eyes closing and her lips connecting with yours as you did the same.

It was a soft kiss, gentle as her lips moved against yours. It wasn’t just a peck on the lips, you were grateful she put some real effort into the kiss. You sighed quietly into the kiss as Lauren moved you towards her with her hands coming to rest against you, sitting on your hips. She gently pushed you down against the sofa as she leaned over you, while not disconnecting your lips once. One of the arms came to rest above your head holding her up, she moved back to allow you both to breathe for a second.

A quick kiss pressed against her lips as a small giggle passed from your lips as she smiled, that smile you loved to see, a smile you felt so lucky to see more than anyone else got to.

“I’m not sure if I expected that to happen tonight or not” Lauren admitted “I’ve wanted to do that for a long time”.

“Have you really?” You asked tentatively almost still afraid that if you spoke to loudly it would all disappear.

“For so long, I’ve had to stop myself from doing it almost every time we’ve been together lately” She confessed.

“Looks like we’ve got plenty of lost time to make up” You said and pulled her back down for another long kiss.

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Hi, this is the first time I’ve ever really written anything like this but I thought I’d give it a go finally after thinking about it for a long time 😂

hope you enjoyed!