#and by that time theyve doubtlessly infected who knows how many others. since they decided to go out into public without a mask | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

orcelito · 4 years ago

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Great time to become deeply concerned and anxious about how life is rn and contemplating just quitting everything so I can focus on Not being exposed to The Rona Bc I’ve realized the number of cases in my county are steadily rising and it’ll probably have a sharp increase with the coming of all the new students (even requiring tests isn’t going to stop them from bringing it, tests are an imperfect system and they can Always pick it up in the time since taking it)

I’m already heavily considering dropping out of school for the semester (a decision supported by the knowledge that they Already have busted a big college party, an indication that my fellow peers will Not be responsible like they want them to be). I need money but like.

I’m scared, man.

I’ve got some savings to fall back on and people I could turn to if I needed help. I Could survive for a few months at least. But it’s not a long term solution. I can’t do that forever. But this virus, it’s not going away. I can’t just Not Work for the entirety of the time it’s here, because it’s not going away. I can’t depend on my government to help me not work so that I can be Safe. All they care about is money.

So I’m stuck. I’m stuck having to ride the bus almost every day, surrounded by people who don’t give a shit. Surrounded by people who, even after a government mandate on masks, still refuse to wear them or wear them shittily. I’m forced to walk past person after person on the streets who don’t have any mask on at all. Person after person who’s been to fucking restaurants and whatever else, because they don’t Care.

I’m stuck interacting with this world that’s dangerous to even be out in. And I am deeply afraid.

#speculation nation #coronavirus ment/#school required virus tests and mine came back negative #i took it last week. that’s whatever #but one of my coworkers told me today that her roommate tested positive. so even though theyve been socially distancing and we have been too #there’s still that risk.#and that risk is going to follow me every single moment that i step outside my front door #it’s not safe. none of this is safe. and so few people seem to care.#im feeling crushed under it. the despair of a society that doesnt care.#our government doesnt care about us. so many of our people dont care either.#they think theyre invincible. up until when they catch it.#and by that time theyve doubtlessly infected who knows how many others. since they decided to go out into public without a mask #and the cycle continues.#22 Million people worldwide. and 5.6 million of those are from the US #i remember when i was freaking out about 500 cases in indianapolis. now theres 1300 ish in my county alone.#it’s not a big county. and that number is only going to get worse.#and ive had a weird feeling in my throat this evening and it’s probably nothing #but theres always that fear of What If. What if this time is it? what if ive caught it?#what if im going to go through months of suffering? what if im going to obtain permanent lung damage?#and if i catch it my partner will catch it. if they catch it then i will catch it.#and that scares me too. im scared of catching it and passing it on. and im scared of it being passed on to me #i just dont know what to do. the life i need to live isnt sustainable.#but if you think about it. neither is the one i have been living.#eventually. i feel like ill catch it.#even being so so careful. even wearing a mask. constantly washing my hands. staying away from people as much as possible #my mask isnt invincible. it’s more for the protection of others than myself #but when the others dont bother to protect Me. my luck will run out.#if i keep going out i am going to catch it. i just know it.#but what else am i supposed to do?

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