#and by no new writing i mean nothing i can publish bc all im doing rn is writing things i Cannot Publish Here Ever and can only maybe show

[saintone]

So idk if you read some of my svsss posts, I recommend reading those before this one, although you can read this and unsterstand so follow your heart.

Im a big MXTX fan, and I think svsss is one of the best pieces of literature ever written. One of the resons for it is bc of how it reflecs MXTX s own story.

In case you didnt read svsss, in it we have a character called Shang QingHua. He's and author, who had to change his story in order to gain money to survive. And to do so, what did he do?

He added p*rn

In case you didnt know, sex scenes and explicit books have incresed in the book industry, and are one of the genres that has been popping this years. This makes total sence, as sex always sells. The sex industry is one who never falters and is always growing, bc although people can always doubt when spending money on things, human beings have proven to always be willing to spend money on sex.

I'm not making this up, and its not a phenomenon exclusive to the book industry. Look it up if u want to

Svsss is a transmigration story, where the protagonist is sent to a novel he has to fix after it was ruined bc the author had to adapt to the demands of fans in order to gain enough money to keep living.

And authors making changes to their stories, to appease fans, is nothing new. But we have to adress the implicantions of having those changes being about sex.

Idk if you noticed, svsss isnt big on sex scenes. After her first book though, MXTX writes mdzs. And that, thats a kinky book.

Like im sorry. Im sorry to all mdzs fans. But from all the mxtx works, that book has the most sexual scenes, the most weird ones, many with a tint of dubious consent. And oc those have a lot to do with the story characters. Like yeah, wangxian are like that. They need therapy, we know.

Mdzs is a much more sexual novel that svsss. In svsss, let me know if im wrong, but there just one sex scene lol, and is "papapa to save the world".

After this novel, mxtx publishes mdzs. And guess which novel made mxtx famous?

Im not saying svsss is better that mdzs or anything like that. Or that mdzs is worth less bc it has sex scenes. All mxtx's novels are masterpieces. But you know whats a masterpiece?

Mxtx making a book about author including sex in their books to appease fans, then making a book with explicit sexual scenes, AND THEN BECOMING FAMOUS THANKS TO THAT BOOK.

And before anyone tells me mdzs didnt make mxtx famous. Mdzs has a donghua, a manghua, and a live action. After mdzs, tgcf has a manghua, a donghua, a live action is being made, etc.

Svsss has a badly done donghua. Svsss is the least popular book of mxtx.

You can say mxtx was shy, or building herself as an author, and didnt add any sex scenes in svsss bc it was her first book and she was establishing herself. But, after mdzs, what did she do? What did se do in Heavily Officials Blessing?

No sex scenes. None. A pure love story. Hints of the act happening? Yes. The issue isnt with characters having sex or not. The issue is adding pornography to a novel thats not about that, to increase sells.

Im not saying what se did is wrong! Im glad she did. It was thanks to what she wrote in mdzs, that she became famous, and i got to know her work. She did what se had to do. Authors nowadays do what they have to do.

But she made a fkng novel about an author adding sex scenes to become famous, AND THEN SHE HAD TO DO IT.

my girl so good at analyzing society she caught proves her own theory. Best contemporay fiction author in the world and i will fight anyone on that.

Btw. All the respect to mdzs fans. I didnt mean to throw any shade on this. Well maybe a little but u gota admite. Book is kinky.

[aroaceleovaldez]

i’m not in this fandom like that so I didn’t know rick previously said he wasn’t going to write anymore. but is it you feel like he’s milking it? maybe it’s bc i’m more in anime/manga fandoms, but for example it’s common for mangaka to write light novels to accompany their story to add details to characters backgrounds or answer questions that aren’t in the manga, but I would never the concept of it bad writing or disrespectful….isn’t it just expanding the story? maybe I’m just not getting your point. i agree the audience shouldn’t be spoon fed, but nico still having nightmares & hearing voices & planning on going to tartarus seems too big of a plot point to be ignored. & chalice of the gods - that I agree with the spoon feeding, but it’s just simple fanservice, maybe rick missed writing those characters or maybe it’s money idk but I feel like a lot of the fandom looks forward to reading more about Percy, i dont think majority feel disrespected by it. (please also i’m not trying to berate you for not liking tsats and chalice im just curious!)

My problem isn’t that it feels like Rick is milking the series - though he absolutely is. He explicitly stated on his blog that Disney asked him to publish Chalice of the Gods as Percy promotion for the Disney+ show adaptation - but the fact that the way it’s being gone about feels cheap.

I get what you mean by comparing manga, but manga is ultimately a different media form. Manga and comics in general tend to lean more expositional by nature because that’s what’s required of the medium. This also means there’s a lot more room for those kinds of extra content series because the medium inherently provides space for them. That can also be a thing in novels as well - I was in Warrior Cats fandom. Warriors has tons of extra content books and novellas (and manga!). I read Animorphs, which also has lots of extra content books (and 52 books in the main series). I am very familiar with series that have a lot of books and bonus content and etc. But the thing with those extra content books is a.) it’s really easy for them to be bad in the exact same way i was mentioning, where details feel forcibly spoon-fed to you, and b.) they need to provide something new, otherwise they just feel like cheap additions that you’re better off skipping over, and if you do skip them you don’t loose anything. And this is 100% true for manga too! It’s a really common problem!

The point is these books don’t expand the story. We aren’t learning anything new that we wouldn’t be able to extrapolate anyways, and it is okay that we don’t know everything happening in the series. We don’t need to know the Exact Specifics of how Nico and Will got together, or how Percy did his college applications. And this has been true in the series before! We don’t know what happened on Clarisse’s quest in TTC. We don’t know what happened to Reyna and Hylla between Circe’s Island and Camp Jupiter, or even how they got to Circe’s Island in the first place. We still don’t know what happened in Albania. And all of that is fine. Nothing is lost as a result of us not knowing those answers. Heck, actually a great example - in TLO, Nico tells Percy he’s been exploring California looking for leads on his family. We’re told he has a new lead, and then he never brings it up again. We as the audience can presume this was relating to Hazel, but the important part is: We are never told what exactly Nico was doing. We know he was doing some very important personal stuff in California, and that’s it. Even if we presume it was relating to Hazel, there’s still huge gaps in that we don’t know about, like how Nico brought Hazel to Camp Jupiter, how Nico found out about Camp Jupiter in the first place, or how he discovered the Doors of Death were open at all. We know none of that. And that’s a good thing! Because we don’t need to! It’s completely irrelevant and adds nothing more to the story! We know everything we need to know about that and that’s it.

That’s how the end of TOA should have been. Yes, we get a cliffhanger that Nico has some personal destiny stuff, but we’re also explicitly not told the prophecy. That should have been the end of it, and it was SUPPOSED to be the end of it! We’re not gaining anything new by having Nico go to Tartarus again - we’ve seen a popular ship go to Tartarus already (Percy and Annabeth). We know what’s down there. We know what Nico experienced down there. We already know everything we need to know. There’s no point to this. Especially since there’s so many elements of the already established canon that emphasize that the alleged goal of their quest is pointless to begin with. We know what’s going to happen already. We can extrapolate. We don’t need a whole book or 3-book series to explain it to us - that’s the part that’s disrespectful to the audience. It’s saying that You Need To Be Told Exactly What Happens Because We Do Not Trust You To Be Able To Figure It Out On Your Own.

 You brought up a great word, actually - It feels like fan-service. And that’s a bad thing. Fan-service is not a good thing - it is almost always bad writing with no heart in it, just spoon-feeding the audience, and it’s disrespectful to the readers. TSATS just feels like solangelo fan-service by trying to make it Percabeth 2 and dancing Will and Nico around in front of the audience a bit more. We aren’t gaining anything new, and there’s no reason to bother with TSATS when you can get the exact same thing or more from fanworks. At best, TSATS could have maybe worked as a short story like Sword of Hades, or we could have gotten a Will short story like how The Stolen Chariot gave us more depth on Clarisse. But as it stands currently, it’s just cheap. It just feels like excuses for Rick to explicitly canonize random things because he doesn’t trust us to figure it out as being coded (this teeters dangerously on the JK Rowling approach), or shoehorn in myths he hasn’t used yet, which he was already doing in TOA and that turned out racist at worst and a mess at best.

There are absolutely extra content novellas I would love to see. Everybody’s been asking for a roman series for ages. A Reyna-POV 3 book Roman series would work perfectly and actually provide something for the collective series, because it’d actually give us some reasons to care about the Roman camp and maybe Jason’s backstory and further flesh him out as a character. I mentioned Clarisse’s quest from TTC earlier - do we lose anything by not knowing what happened on her quest? No. But she’s a major side character who’s been around since book one that we know very little about, and if we need more first-series content to promote the show adaptation, that feels like a great avenue, because we can use it to explore things that we don’t know much about! Like rogue demigods and the Titan Army (with Chris), the Ares cabin (quest members), or Clarisse herself and her backstory and fleshing her out more as a character and her relationships with other beloved first-series characters like Silena and Beckendorf. We can’t get that with Will because he only joined camp right before the Battle for Manhattan (and anything saying otherwise would be an outright retcon, which is even more annoying) and nearly his entire cabin immediately died. Everything we saw in TOA is basically all we’d be able to get from Will. And we already got it - we know where he’s from, when he came to camp, who his mom is, and his relationship with both his parents and his siblings and other campers. We saw who he as a character is in TOA. Yeah, it wasn’t much, but he’s only been around since TLO and barely existed in HoO - he’s a minor character, that’s expected. But all we’re gonna get is more of the same.

Tl;dr: My problem isn’t that it feels like beating a dead horse, my problem with TSATS and Chalice of the Gods is that they feel like cheap and pointless plot lines that are inherently insulting to the audience by refusing to allow any interpretation of the intentional free space left by the narrative and at best is a blatant shoehorning-in of more myths and canonizing random things that don’t add any actual merit to the story, they’re just there to be included.

[stellawolfearts]

I have a question, what do you do when you get stuck with a chapter? I mean you already know what the chapter will be about but you don't know how to express the idea?

(I love your work! Keep up the good work)

Thank you, im so glad you like my stuff!! :DDDDDD

-------------------------------------

maaaaaan

see this is a BIG problem for me.

hell im stuck rn. for multiple reasons and with multiple fics lol. i just havent been able to write in a while for a buttload of reasons i wont get into.

but because this is a big problem for me ive got some advice for u buddy. there are a few things you can do, some is general advice and others is methods i use. note that everyone is different and some methods work well for some and wont work for others.

REST

thats my first piece of advice. dont stress about it. dont beat yourself up bc ur not writing. sometimes inspiration will come and sudddenly your hands will end up moving on thier own. but sometimes you just need the rest. its okay if you spend a day not writing. hell its okay if you spend a WEEK not writing. if your writing something something for you your supposed to enjoy it. this brings me to my next point.

WRITE IT FOR YOU

write it for yourself, especially if its a published work on ao3/wattpad/whatever...

i know it happened to me and tends to happen quite a bit even with my other content. you get too wrapped up in "comments, views, kudos, likes whatever..." your best work comes when you are enjoying what you're making and sometimes when you get too into that mindset suddenly its not fun anymore.

make it for you.

DISCIPLINE

sometimes you rest for too long, sometimes inspiration doesnt come. sometimes youve gotta sit your butt down and make yourself write. do you think its bad? doesnt matter.

whatever you end up writing down on that paper is progress. its a first draft and you can always come back to it later and make it even better then it was.

i know its hard and i really need to expercise this more.

i havent updated on ao3 in a while bc i keep going back to my drafts and think "man.....this is shit" or theres just this feeling like im hitting my head against a wall of bricks expecting it to crumblr for me but nothings happening.

so you really just gotta force youself to write sometimes. and there are some methods i use to help me.

REWRITE THE CHAPTER

yeah. its rough. but sometimes you gotta. what you have isnt working. so you just need to redo everything to get back into the groove. the flow.

i gotta do this with a new chapter im trying to write for longing for more. i already wrote like three thousand words but its not right at all so im redoing the whole thing when i have time.

SKIP THAT BIT

this has actually helped me ALOT.

so bassically if your stuck on a specific part of a chapter.....skip it. just skip it.

when i was writing longing for more the chapter where Mk talks to the lady bone demon in the dining room is one that i usedthis method for.

i wrote the first two paragraphs and then did a little "(they talk blah blah add something about this and then that and dont forget the thing)

and then i wrote the scene where mk escapes and the chase. i wrote that whole scene before i wrote the conversation they have because i had NO idea what to add in that scene. i was stuck. so i just skipped it and when i wrote something i had alot of ideas for i could come back and write that scene later.

and it worked. im really proud of how that scene turned out.

so if you need to just skip it and replace it with a little note (in these things i always forget what they're called) to remind yourself what goes there

MUSIC

Music is my greatest tool to help me write. idk how to explain it cause sometimes what im listening to while writing a scene doesnt make sense.

i think it wasssssss.

i dont remember which scene it was but i remember writing something REALLY sad to "vending machine of love". like gut wrenching sad.

funny stuff.

but yeah, music helps me get in the mood and visualize whats going on.

----------------------

the most important thing here though is enjoy what your doing. dont pressure yourself or just be too hard on yourself in general. cause then its no fun anymore and makes EVERYTHING so much harder.

so have fun, dont worry about other people, dont be hard on yourself. enjoy it.

[cassiesc0rner]

kicking my feet rn. im so happy you liked my vision because it really feels like we match on our ideas or something. i mean for example theres people that like him but just for his looks so they basically rewrite the entire character for him to be sugarcoated in the fic but honestly i just like him the way he is...... like i imagine myself getting to east highland as a new student after all the drama that went down and still considering being with him just because i need therapy and i like the danger and how crazy he is. like ok i wanna fight him or have him drive me around town at 3 am going 100mph just because he wants me to feel like we will crash for fun. idk i feel like we just match in a weird way ... and i cannot stop thinking about him he's like my newest obsession (i need to be obsessed with something or else i get bored and everything in my life is dull lmao) but yeah sometimes i think about comforting after he fights with his dad or things like that.... ALSO its crazy how you the way you wrote y/s's relationships with her parents similar to my family's relationship. it just makes the whole thing more surreal. only difference between her life and mine is that i have full on screaming matches with my mother at least twice a week and my dad never does shit until he loses it and yells at me like a mad man. but yeah im so happy u liked what i wrote i was kind of u scared not liking it. BUT YEAH HE NEEDS TO CHOKE HER PLEASEEE

also also can i be 💿 anon? (like can that me sort of my sign off so u know its me whenever i send an ask??)

omg ikr?! i noticed that too, especially on wattpad. I mean, there’s obviously nothing wrong with thinking he’s attractive and writing him out of character, some people enjoy it but yeah, I like to keep him as true to character as I can🙂‍↕️ (might be because I’m just like you and like him like that bjsnwhsne?!?) and omg I literally did/do the same lmao that’s why i came up with this story in the first place and I’m so glad I published it, because I just thought it’d be another piece of ff I’d write and never upload lmao. And I fear we might be twins bc her mom is literally like mine too lmao. I just couldn’t bring myself to write normal parents for her, because I literally don’t know what that’s like, so I totally get you💀 and noo don’t be scared, I’m always open for suggestions and thoughts on impurities, and your ask was just chefs kiss so don’t be shy!!

and ofc you can be 💿 anon!!

[kisssatoru]

17 Questions for 17 People

— was tagged by @skelemen and felt like this was necessary just to get to know me better (btw tysm for tagging meee)<3

1. Nicknames: nini (nothing else really 😭)

2. Zodiac: capricorn sun, cancer moon, virgo rising (recipe for disaster if you ask me)

3. Height: 5’5/5’6 (recently found this out & never been more shook in my life — i really went all my life believing i was 5’2…the wildness)

4. Last thing I googled: “why do police always pull over sports cars” (and when i found out why i felt sooo dumb bc it’s obviously either bc they’re curious about the car or know that the driver will speed bc sports cars are designed for that LOL the more you know smh)

5. Song stuck in my head: poltergeist! by corpse (also never satisfied by corpse & in the middle by tokyos revenge)

6.Number of people you follow: 23! haven’t posted any of my work yet so that’s to be expected (meaning i rly only want to follow certain writers and let the rest come to me if they want the mutuals)

7. Amount of sleep you get: i usually get like 10hrs but sometimes i’ll slide by with 4/5 hours (one time i slept for almost 18hrs…so if i’m left alone with no obligations for the day, i’ll sleep the day away fr — if i’m not playing games or sumn)

8. Lucky numbers: 5 and only 5 :))

9. Dream job: i thought it was being a psychologist but i’ve recently realized that even tho it’s going to be hard, i want to still pursue writing and being an author because it’s my real passion :”) wanna be good enough to get some of my work published and hopefully have some turned into movies or shows :0 i’d genuinely pass away for an opportunity like that LOL

10. What are you currently wearing: a black zoro hoodie (gotta rep my bb), black sweatpants, black/white converse with black socks (my fav colour is black so…)

11. Movies/books that summarize me: hmm no movies or books but poets like ranata suzuki, r.h. sin and haruki murakami that all have this beautiful way of speaking and describing love, having unique outlooks on love/heartbreak and someone’s individuality. i find their work really beautiful, and often read my favourite quotes from them over and over just because !

12. What is your favourite instrument: definitely either a violin, flute or piano!

13. Favourite song right now: warning by nbdy

14. Describe your aesthetic: i would say alt! or comfy? idk, i’m just usually in all black or other dark, neutral colours, definitely someone that just prefers comfy and dark anything (tho sometimes i’ll get this rly weird urge to do a pink theme…)

15. Favourite author: myself ;) i actually don’t know tho

16. Favourite animal noise: ok when kittens or puppies fall asleep and make those little noises? idk how to explain but omfg i melt every single time or when puppies want something and they do that little begging thing kind of like “nn nn nn” IDK IM BAD AT EXPLAINING STUFF BUT ITS SO CUTE PLS

17. Random fact about myself: i don’t usually initiate a convo with someone i like but when it comes to ppl with fluffy hair and dark eyes 🧍🏽‍♀️suddenly my confidence is through the roof and i feel like i can conquer the entire world LOL IDK WHAT IT ISSHHJS

17 is a lot of ppl to tag when you’re a new acc again so ummm here’s a few: @arcanedevil @aki-and-saltfish @broken-freedom <33

17 Questions for 17 People

Tagged by @sheseestheghosts. It's been so long since I've done one of theses.

1. Nicknames: Kat, skeleman, the skelemanager

2. Zodiac: Aqua Sun, Pisces Moon, Gemini Rising

3. Height: 5'3" (probably actually 5'2" but give me that extra inch)

4. Last thing I Googled: Prophylaxis Dental -- I just had a dentist appointment today 

5. Song stuck in my head: fuK u lol by Corpse

6. Number of people you follow: 48 -- I'm still getting back into the swing of things

7. Amount of sleep you get: It really depends. I can sometimes sleep for 10 hours for a few days, and then the next few days I only sleep like 4 hours.

8. Lucky numbers: 16

9. Dream job: Published author that gets to write for a living and rely solely on that income

10. What are you currently wearing: Corpse hoodie, no pants, socks, a blanket. I'm big chilling.

11. Movies/books that summarize me: I honestly have no clue. I would say the books I write myself would summarize me the best since I put pieces of myself into each one.

12. What is your favorite instrument: I have no clue. I'm very much not musically inclined

13. Favorite song right now: Out of Touch

14. Describe your aesthetic: Alt? I guess. I don't know what my aesthetic is. I wear all black, my hair is usually colored most of the time. We can go with alternative trash panda.

15. Favorite author: Probably tied between Neil Gaiman and Mo Xiang Tong Xiu

16. Favorite animal noise: NOISE? Uhhhhh..... I guess tiny kitten squeaks.

17. Random fact about myself: I have never broken a bone before, but I really want to know what it feels like. I don't want to actually break a bone, but I want to know what it's like.

I definitely don't have 17 people to tag, so I will tag who I can:

@alienbaby @eternalawakenings @escuinclebrandon @earthdomdirtbag @kisssatoru @yourblackhearts

[thewinedarksea]

the hell crossover

ft. arin and little knife vibing. tw: the ink mage, but mild this time. for the anon 💜

“Is he always like this?”

The girl stared blankly up at him, her silver eyes wide and glossy. Arin had been informed that she didn’t have a name. 

“You know.” He gestured vaguely to the chaos of the room and the tall, slender figure in the center of it. “This.”

They’d appeared in a halo of light and thick, choking smoke, boring a hole through several alternate dimensions and straight into the center of Conference Room B. A girl and a man, both magical, both coughing. In the two hours since they’d landed in the Bureau the man had insulted Director Li, Sub-Directors Romano and Fitzgerald, the entire janitorial staff, and the curtains. He’d also set fire to a table he disagreed with the look of and caved in half of the security department’s ceiling when officers had the nerve to try and arrest him for careening his way into a restricted section. 

He’d come to rest in the linguistics department, citing that the magical energy there was optimal for crafting a portal back to his own world. 

Arin had been informed that his name was the Ink Mage, and that not interfering with his work was of the highest priority. He was also a dick. No one had told Arin that; he’d worked it out for himself, right around when the Ink Mage had stolen his desk for “purposes of higher learning that a child like you has no business being around, why are you still here, get out of my way.”

He regarded his lost property mournfully. The outline of today’s work agenda was softly smoking, and his treatise on future tense verbs in Low Seelie had been tossed onto the floor to make room for one of the Ink Mage’s strange machines. Most of his plants had survived the invasion unscathed, but a shower of pale pink blossoms from an upturned hydrangea scattered the ground, and the yellow lady’s slipper orchid was cowering fearfully in its pot. 

“Worse.” 

The girl’s voice was low and colorless, whispering like water on rocks. She’d taken up residence on Nyssa’s desk, her legs dangling off the edge. Beneath a cloud of pale hair her face was expressionless, eyes empty as she watched the Ink Mage pace the length of the room. 

She put him, unexpectedly, in mind of the Unseelie. Arin had seen a procession of nobles once, when he’d accompanied Caym on an errand to the Court. He’d drawn back into the shadows as they approached, afraid they’d catch sight of him and decide he was more interesting as an eyeless corpse than another half-fae. They’d swept past in a river of flowing silks and ringing laughter, and the sight of their cruel, lovely faces still haunted him. There had been nothing human in their leering smiles, only a vast, towering nothingness peering out from the cracks in the masks. 

He felt the same pervasive sense of wrongness when he looked at her, all empty eyes and emptier expressions. Silence, coiled to the snapping point, clung to her like a fine shawl: a bone-deep stillness that promised bloodshed when broken. 

“It can get worse?” He felt a stirring of compassion for the strange girl. The Ink Mage’s hectic energy set his teeth on edge, made him want to burrow his head beneath layers of blankets until quiet returned to his life. If Caym or Tselel had contained half as much capacity for motion he doubted he ever would have bothered falling in love. 

“He’s not throwing things.” The girl tipped her head to one side, pale eyes trailing after the Ink Mage. “Or yelling, which means he’s not upset.” She glanced over at him. “You don’t want to see him when he’s angry.” 

“No, I can’t imagine I would.” 

Another beat of silence fell, tenser this time. For all his motion the Ink Mage worked in near total quiet, the only sound the harsh scrape of his pen as he scribbled runes across the floor and up the walls. Inky loops wrapped the thermostat and climbed the sides of his desk, spilling across the shiny surface in a dark wave. 

Arin squinted at the nearest line, trying to pick out the individual pieces of the twisting spell. The few sigils he could decipher pulsed faintly, meaning slithering just beyond his grasp. Pressure built behind his eyes the longer he stared. 

Across the room the Ink Mage flicked a hand. The runes crumbled to metallic ash, blurring the line into a haze of sharp peaks and sinuous curves once more. A headache pounded its fists against the walls of Arin’s mind at the intoxicating sweep of power. With an effort he ignored it, wrenching his attention from the strange magic. 

“So you’re his…” Arin left the question dangling, unsure of the proper terminology. The girl contemplated it for a moment, as if trying to seek out a hook.

“Apprentice.” A smile so faint as to be nonexistent quirked the edge of her mouth. “Or slave. Whore. Abomination. Depends on who you ask.” 

“I’m asking you.”

The girl blinked up at him and gave a suggestion of a shrug. The unease deepened. 

“Okay. So you’re his...apprentice.” He stumbled a bit over the word. Abomination suited his tongue better, but it was bad form to throw it at someone not half-fae, even if he did have the feeling that she wouldn’t mind. “Do you like it? Learning magic and stuff.” 

The girl tipped her head the other way. Light reflected off the strange silver sheen of her eyes, turning them flat and empty as a mirror. She didn’t answer. 

“No personal questions. Got it.” He picked at his sleeve, searching for a loose thread to distract from the situation.  “I have a friend you might like to meet. Well, not a friend. Ex-boyfriend. Stalker? 

“Anyways, he likes dodging questions too. I think he may be allergic to emotions, actually. Besides arrogance, of course. And anger. Also disgust. You know what, I’m going to revise my statement: he’s allergic to positive emotions. The point is that you should have a conversation with him. I think you’d get along.”  

Arin closed his mouth with a click, cutting off the stream of nervous chatter. More words rose in his throat and he swallowed them with an effort. The silence around the girl gaped, open and hungry, the urge to fill it nearly unbearable. He hadn’t seen quiet so weaponized since he’d walked out of Caym’s life. The urge to lock them in a room together intensified. 

“Girl.” The Ink Mage’s voice cut through the space. A stir of magic rose, dragging unpleasantly across Arin’s skin. It left a residue of blood in his mouth, the taste of copper clinging to his teeth.

The girl slid soundlessly from the desk, picking her way through the fields of ink to hover at the man’s side. Without a word she rolled up her sleeves, baring the battered skin of her forearms. The Ink Mage caught her wrist and began to scribble his writings across her wrist, heedless of the bruises already there. Blood welled in neat lines, dripping in crimson splotches onto the floor. 

Arin straightened, discomfort and anger warring in his chest. He wanted to punch the Ink Mage in the mouth. More, he wanted to call Tselel and have her punch him in mouth. And then maybe a few other times, in more deadly places. 

Don’t interfere, the Director had said. So he wouldn’t. He would be obedient, and walk away, and protect his job. With an effort he pushed down the rage, the clawing darkness that threatened to overtake him. Arin was good at closing his eyes and following orders. 

Besides, for all he knew, every mage in this strange other world wandered around turning their apprentices into living magic sources. 

“I’ll go make you some coffee,” he called. She flicked a look his way, the emptiness shaded with gratitude, another not-there smile touching briefly upon her mouth. “Don’t let him touch my plants.”

“Five sugars,” said the Ink Mage, right before Arin slammed the door. 

Most of the employees had evacuated the building in case the madman made good on his threat to blow it up, and so it was only a few members of the security department that watched Arin gather every offensive gesture he’d learned from years on the street and throw them in the Ink Mage’s direction.

Then he went to make coffee. And swear. Not necessarily in that order.

[literaticat]

you're the best. can i ask you why are responses to queries sooo slow? im and MG author and it seems forever to get a response...I would think that coming out of a pandemic editors would be hungry for new material.

I'm going to be as calm as I possibly can be because I know this is probably a sincerely meant question, and you may be new, and you haven't seen the year+ worth of discourse about agents and editors and what is happening in the pandemic within the book industry (and that despite lots of people "coming out of a pandemic", for us, these things are still very much ongoing!). A brief Pandemic Publishing history, from my perspective:

March 2020. We realize that the "pandemic" is officially happening. The Bologna Book Fair is cancelled, travel is cancelled, everyone has to work from home, it's confusing, schools are closed, nobody has child-care. We expect this to last a couple of weeks.

April 2020. It does NOT last "a couple of weeks." Now just for background -- publishing is already an extremely slow process with a lot of lead time - like, we are currently selling/acquiring books for 2023/24 publication. So that means that when all this hit, there were lots of projects in the pipeline already, things that were in various stages of progress and were delayed in Spring/early Summer 2020. They were delayed at that time bc of the combined factors of: the pandemic shutting down everyone's office, not to mention schools, libraries and bookstores, which meant no place to SELL books -- PLUS there are layoffs -- PLUS there are printing/shipping/supply chain issues meaning problematic to make or ship books -- NOT TO MENTION, people getting sick and dying all over NYC, which is where most of US publishing is headquartered.

Early Summer 2020. Shaken, but rallying, all editors and the entirety of publishing are now getting used to working from home. There is a huge learning curve here -- publishing is very much a "face-to-face meetings" and "paper trail" kind of industry and *nothing* about the office life was really set up for remote work. (Most publishers didn't even used to allow DocuSign for contracts, we had to send multiple hard copies all over the country before the pandemic!) -- People learned how to work zoom, and did meetings virtually. They quickly realized that electronic contracts and payments are a blessing.

Now, there are still problems -- like, editors having to work from tiny flats with their children crawling all over them, and designers having to be at the kitchen table instead of, like, a whole studio with the proper lighting and every kind of material available, and contracts people having no files at their fingertips -- but hey, everyone is muddling through.

Of course - bookstores and the like are still closed, and there are still big supply chain issues - and that's a HUGE problem for the actual publication part. But on the agent/editor side, we are all working on future books, so that work simply has to continue, or there won't be any books two years from now!

Summer/Fall 2020. Everyone is absolutely scrambling like mad to do all the work that didn't get done in Spring. There is now a backlog of projects in the pipeline, but OK. Everyone is feeling quite literally traumatized by the things that have gone on, but OK. Some people are still recovering from having gotten sick themselves, or are mourning family lost to the disease. But OK.

This time is as busy as I have ever seen it, for everyone - pretty much a non-stop whirlwind of work. (Both because of the things that didn't get done before AND the fact that nobody can travel or do anything else!) -- There is also, to be honest, a lot of crying. We all desperately need a vacation, and it shows.

Winter 2020/2021. Now mind you -- Aside from that very very rough few months at the beginning, which was just a very confusing time -- books WERE coming out, and WE WERE ALL WORKING, selling, acquiring, creating new books. All of our authors were ALSO working and creating new books. MORE, in fact, because a lot of them were at home for the first time in a long time! But remember -- there's already a backlog, right? So, ALL of these new projects have been slowed/delayed both because of the pandemic, and the backlog of already existing projects, creating a larger backlog of existing projects. At this point we are running on fumes.

Spring/Summer 2021. We are slowly coming out of pandemic pandemonium in personal lives. People are getting vaccinated. It's great. Some people might actually get to go on vacation! Amazing! But it's not actually "normal" yet in publishing-world, because again, there's still that backlog, and everyone is STILL working from home, which is ok, but honestly, still makes things slower for a number of reasons, and look, everyone is just exhausted, okay? It's been a lot.

So anyway that's, in a ginormous nutshell, why you might find that editors and agents are not quite as "hungry" as you might want us to be coming out of a pandemic. IDK. We are just people, my friend.

ETA: I realized that this explainer was JUST pertaining to burnout because of what was happening IN-OFFICE. Combine ALL of this with what was happening in the real world -- like, for example, the horrific brutality against George Floyd and others, and the subsequent intense social justice rallying in Summer 2020 and beyond -- climate disasters, like California being ON FIRE -- a lot of *spicy drama* in the book world -- and A GINORMOUS FLIPPING PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION... yeah omg. I think there could literally be a book about this, but I can't write it or read it tbh.

ETA x 2: (AND I didn't even touch on the fact that a huge problem for everyone I know was A LACK OF ABILITY TO READ during the worst of this! Which as you can imagine is a huge problem for somebody whose job involves READING BOOKS. I mean seriously there were MONTHS where I could not get through a single book, and I know for a fact I'm not alone. I'm JUST getting the ability back and I'm still scared.)

[shurisneakers]

if you're taking ideas for harmless drabbles, i'd love to see one of bucky on one of those dates he mentioned and reader's shenanigans. if you aren't, feel free to ignore this!

a/n: are we really going to let a word limit define what a drabble is? is the vibe and spirit not enough? i say this bc this is 5.7k words long im so sorry. also hey thank you to everyone who piped in with their knowledge of violent geese and how apartment security works in new york!! also thanks to my bby @spiderrpcrker for reading this and telling me to publish this bc i wasnt going to fkjghfkj

warning: swearing, bad luck, dates, frustrated bucky, anxiety, mentions of gore but like only a sentence

here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <333

Catch up with the rest of the series here: Harmless Masterlist

Bucky returns only two weeks later. His mission lasted longer than expected and all he wants is to lie down and sleep for forty eight hours straight.

“FRIDAY?” he mumbles, kicking off his shoes. His jacket had already been discarded by his bedroom door when he walked in.

“Yes, Sergeant Barnes?”

“How are ya?” He doesn’t miss a beat in asking, even though he’s exhausted.

“As good as ever. Did you have a successful mission?”

“If by successful you mean one sprained limb instead of two, then yeah.” He wasn’t really cribbing. His ankle was already starting to heal anyway and it was worth the roundhouse kick to a Nazi's face. “Do I have anything scheduled for this weekend?”

“You have a meeting on your calendar scheduled for this Saturday.”

“Could you send a text to Y/N and ask if we can push it to the next day?” His muscles feel sore and God, he could definitely use a hot shower but all of that becomes secondary the minute he feels the sheets under him.

“Would you like me to reschedule the other one as well?”

“What’s that?” He opens one eye in confusion. “There’s another one?”

“It’s on Sunday. You’ve labelled it ‘date’.”

Ah, fuck.

“Would you like me to change it?” FRIDAY never sounds like she’s judging him, which is nice. It also reminds him about how she, as an AI, can’t judge him, which is a rude wake-up call to how he doesn’t have friends.

“No,” his voice is muffled against the pillow, “no, let it be. Where is it again?”

“You’ve only specified diner, Sergeant Barnes.”

Public space, daytime, plenty of escape routes. Good on his less delirious self for selecting a diner.

“Thanks, FRIDAY.” Now that he’s a little more relaxed, he can feel himself slip in and out of consciousness.

“One last thing," her automated voice commands his attention again. "Y/N replied. She says sure and to take care.”

“Yay.” Not even a second later he’s out like a light.

____

“Did you bring me any souvenirs?” Is the first thing he hears as he marches into your lair.

“What could I possibly get you?”

“A postcard, a t-shirt.” You don’t look up from your tinkering.

“Decapitated finger, used bullets,” he continues, “cement blocks.”

“Ew.” You snap the lid shut on the thing you’re working on, spinning around on your chair. "That's not nearly romantic enough."

“That’s all you’re going to get from a Russian underground bunker.” He does a mini jog up the stairs of the platform to where you are.

“Does the finger have a ring at lea- oh hello?” You raise an eyebrow at the sight of him. “You look different.”

He peers down. The outfit was still all black. As always.

“Not your clothes, dummy,” you interrupt, making him look back at you. “Your face. What’d you do?”

He unconsciously raises a hand to his cheek.

“Did you wash your face? Is that it?” you squint at him. “Has it been a few months since the last time?”

“Wow, you’re so funny,” he drawls sarcastically.  “Top tier comedian right there.”

“No wait, it’s the beard.” You snap your fingers in realisation, completely ignoring his comment. “You trimmed it.”

“So what if I did?” He leans on your table.

“You going somewhere?” you ask, elastic snapping against your hands as you remove your gloves.

“It’s none of your busi-”

“Hold on a second.” A sly smile begins to make its way onto your face. “Are you going on a date, Bucky Barnes?”

His comeback dies down in his throat. That didn’t take you very long for you to figure out.

“I’m right, aren’t I?” You look smug, to say the least.

“Shut up.” A ray of light glistening distracts him. He traces it to the thing you were working on earlier.

“Where are you guys going?” You cross your arm across your chest, a small smirk on your face.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” It’s a silver box, engraved intricately with swirls that, when he observes carefully, looks like a skull. Wow, terrifying.

“I’m literally asking you.”

“What are those?” He shifts the conversation towards a more productive angle instead.

“Evil in a box and some other stuff.” You shrug offhandedly. “Is it a lunch date or just coffee?”

“Like Pandora’s Box?”

“A discount version, sure,” you confirmed impatiently. “Stop changing the topic, listen to me.”

He tilts his head, waiting for you to continue.

“Do you need a chaperone?” The sincerity in your voice for such a bullshit question has him scoffing.

“Good God- no, I do not need a chaperone. I’m 106 years old, I can go out unsupervised.” He reaches over and plucks the box off your table.

“Sir, you’re a geriatric."

“What are those?” He points to a few ray odd ray guns.

“Minor stuff you don’t have to worry about right now.”

He shakes the box in his hand. “What’s gonna happen if I open this?”

“Very bad things,” you whispered ominously before your volume returns to normal. “How’d you meet this person? Online?”

“She’s Natasha’s friend.” He turns the box over, seeing a small latch at the side. “What bad things?”

“Bad luck and misery. Don’t play with it, it’s dangerous.” You pull the box away from him. “Aw, is it a blind date?”

“Why do you care so much?” he shoots back, tugging the box back towards him.

“Just lookin’ out for you, Bucko,” you huff, adjusting your grip on your device. “Need to keep my favourite senior citizen safe.”

“I have a vibranium arm.” Whose force he could use to grab the box once and for all, but wasn’t. “I think I’ll be fine.”

“What if she has one too, huh? Then what?”

“She doesn’t.” As far as he knows, he’s the only one alive with a metal appendage made out of the strongest metal in the world. That could very well change by tomorrow but he's keeping the title for now.

“But what if she does? I swear to- stop trying to take the box!” You pull a little more forcefully, but he doesn’t relent.

“I want this to get over before this evening.”

“What time’s your date?”

“Why do you care?” He’s sure anyone who saw the dumb tug-of-war you both were playing would just automatically assume he was an absolute manchild, not an Avenger.

“Because.” You don’t explain further. “Tell me what time your date is, you weirdo.”

“Five o’clock, now let go.”

“Fine,” you say, suddenly loosening your grip. Clearly, it doesn't make much of a difference since he isn't struggling to keep his balance from the sudden loss of force.

“Fine.” He clears his throat, straightening up. 

You don’t say anything. He doesn’t either.

A putrid smell creeps into his nose, one all too similar to spoiled milk and decaying seaweed. He has to physically stop himself from gagging.

“Have a good day.” You smile and lean far back. Too far. It looks like you're almost going to fall out of the chair.

Through the tears that are threatening to line his eyelids, he looks down at the box whose latch you somehow managed to lift, leaving the box open.

“What the fuck is this?” He coughs, swatting at the air in front of him to clear it.

“I told you; bad luck in a box.”

“You can’t scientifically create bad luck, that’s bullshit.” He tosses the box back onto your table. You watch it slide past you, not making any effort to stop it. “What is it really?”

“I’m not lying.” You pull open a drawer, brandishing a small table fan that you set down beside you. “If you open it, you’re going to have terrible luck for the day.”

He glowers at you when you turn the fan on, forcing the fumes back towards him.

“Besides, that’s all I was doing today.” You kick your feet up. “So you can leave now.”

He doesn’t care if you’re lying about not having anything else to do today. You could burn down the world if you wanted to but he needs to take a stupid shower. Again.

“You’re the fuckin’ worst.” He tries airing out his shirt, hoping that the smell would dissipate as soon as possible.

“Have fun on your date, sarge!” you encourage him as he stalks out of the lair. “Remember to wrap it befo-”

He turns it into a sprint before you can finish.

____

Six hours later and he’s absolutely convinced he fucked up.

He isn’t used to having his weekends free.

He realises that this is the first time in months that he’s actually stepped out of the Tower for something that wasn’t directly mission-related. He should probably get some air. Touch some grass. See the sun.

His shirt thankfully manages to rid itself of the odour from the dumb box so he didn’t have to go take a shower. With nothing much planned and a few hours to spare, he heads to the coffee shop instead.

It’s a small place, bustling and alive with a crowd of people. They have a little bookshelf that usually is full of books donated by patrons, free for anyone to read.

The barista smiles at him. The coffee costs more than his high school education. He awkwardly smiles back.

He’s not a regular, but they’ve seen him enough times to know that he usually asks for black coffee in a to-go cup, later adding a sugar or two according to his own taste. They're nice to him, occasionally throwing in a cookie or something on the house. He can't tell if it's because of the Avenger status or the sizeable tip he leaves.

He picks up a random book from the shelf, fully intending not to read it but to just sit there and think. The book acted as a shield for his resting bitch face, resting murder face and his resting rage face. More often than not, a good combination of the three.

He sets the coffee down at the corner table he manages to nab in a quick second, along with the two sachets of sugar.

“Is this seat taken?” Someone asks from beside him. He earnestly shakes his head in a ‘no’, gesturing for them to take it.

They give him a quick thanks and drag the chair away from his table.

He does a quick overlook of the book he picked up.

The Princess Diaries by Meg Cabot.

Well, now he’s too anxious to put it back. YA fiction it is.

He reaches for the sugar while glossing over the summary. He reaches a little further when it doesn’t come to his hand immediately, blindly running his fingers across the table.

Bucky peeks over the book, eyebrows knitting together when he notices that they’re missing.

He was sure he picked it up.

He looks underneath the table. It wasn’t there, neither under his seat. Strange, but okay. He picks up the book and the cup, walking back to the station to grab two sugars.

This time he makes sure to tuck it into his pocket, double-checking before going back to his table.

Which was now occupied. He wanted to groan.

His mind automatically reverts back to the box from that morning.

“Come on,” he scoffs quietly to himself. It was a coincidence. “Get yourself together.”

“A seat at the counter just cleared up,” the barista from earlier offers when she sees him standing in the middle of the store.

See? Good luck.

He shoots her a grateful look, venturing over to the barstool to take his place. It’s not the most comfortable, but then again, he wasn’t planning to stay there for very long.

He empties the sugar into the coffee, stirring slowly before opening a random page in the book.

He takes a long sip, ignoring how hot the drink was.

He chokes immediately. Because either he was losing his mind or his order had somehow got switched from ‘no sugar’ to ‘diabetes in a cup’.

He takes another small sip and his face immediately twists in disgust. Definitely too sweet. The sweetener he added only made it worse.

He catches the eye of the barista. She looks on in concern.

“Is everything okay?”

Fuck.

He’s not one to make a scene. He just wants to live as imperceptibly as he could.

“Yep.” The sweetness sticks to the back of his throat. “All good.”

He just closes his eyes and downs the rest of it without thinking twice, trying to hide the grimace in his face. He gives her a weak thumbs up. She doesn't look convinced.

He leaves the shop soon after, hands shoved in his pocket. Maybe he could go sit by the lake at Central Park, watch the clouds. It reminded Bucky of the lake in front of his hut in Wakanda and the hours he'd sit in front of it, feet dipped into the water as his goats fed. He misses it.

He makes a sharp turn at a corner, still thinking about his options when his ankle abruptly twists under him.

He stumbles rather ungracefully, almost hitting the ground, but manages to save himself through the newly built up immunity he has towards falling thanks to all his encounters with you.

His gaze lands on his hardcore combat boots. Their laces had come undone.

Now he just knew that was horseshit. He always double knots them; they had never loosened in the past before.

The box.

He shoves the thought out of his head, crouching down to tie them again. He tugs on them to make sure they’re secure before standing up again.

Central Park is a few blocks away but he’s glad he didn’t bring his bike. The weather was rather nice and the wind in his hair felt good.

He wanders around the park for a while, looking for the lake. He pauses at a board with a map of the park on it, assessing how far it was.

Once he's ascertained which path to go towards, he turns on his heel to go.

He fucking trips again.

“Are you serious?” he says furiously under his breath. “Cut it out.”

He’s half-convinced that he should tie it around his ankle like a sexy lace-up set of heels. He ties a triple knot this time, glares at it until he’s sure it’s fine and checks to see if anyone saw him humiliate himself.

Only a person on a nearby bench who looked like they were passed out drunk, given that their hoodie and sunglasses clad self was slumped over.

No witnesses. No 'You won't BELIEVE what the Winter Soldier did! Critics say it's his biggest blunder yet!' articles the next day on social media.

He manages to make it to the lake in one piece and no more falls, partly because he keeps his eyes fixed on his shoes to ensure no fuckery occurs.

There are a few people rowing and plenty of others lining the bank at scattered locations. There’s a mom and her kid at the place he ends up. She sends him a small smile in greeting and he returns the favour.

There’s a secluded bench that he takes a place on, letting out a small sigh. If he ignores the traffic and the skateboarders and the people in general, it’s actually kind of peaceful.

There are geese and their little goslings swimming around the water close to the shore. Maybe he should have brought some birdseed. Or kale.

The kid beside him is busy fashioning something out of leaves, only occasionally erupting into giggles when it doesn't pan out. His mom watches him fondly, pointing at twigs he could use. Everything seems kind of picture-perfect and his body automatically relaxes, easing further into the seat and closing his eyes for a second.

Until there's a large splash and loud distressed honking. He whips his head around to find the same kid staring straight ahead at the goose with a wide grin. His mother curses quietly, picking herself up off the ground and grabbing his hand, half chastising him for throwing something at an animal and half urging him to walk faster.

The goose turns to Bucky. With no one else to blame for the sudden attack, it logically launches itself at him. His smile drops.

He gets up in a rush. The dumb bird nearly comes for his head, but he deflects with his metal arm.

“I didn’t even do anything.” He swats at it swiftly, trying not to cause any real damage. The goose, understandably, does not speak English.

He flinches when one of them bites at his knee. He can punt it to the sun but he doesn’t want to.

“Stop that.” He sticks his hand out to shove the stupid thing away, retreating back to the road. “Jesus, why are you so aggressive?”

Among the barrage of feathers showering on him, he prays his damn shoelace doesn’t unravel as he shields his head with one arm, the other fending himself while he moves hurriedly away.

The goose honks angrily at him. He scowls at it, not exactly pleased with the reminder that these fucking overgrown ducks were constantly bloodthirsty.

It doesn’t leave him alone till he’s significantly away from where he was sitting. He wants to call it profanity but that’d probably piss it off more.

The box and its effects were definitely starting to feel real.

Fuck it, no more day out for him. The best plan he can think of is to just go to the diner he’s supposed to meet his date at.

The waiter greets him with a courteous nod, which Bucky can only imagine was the best he could muster when a dishevelled 200-pound man walks in covered in goose feathers and irritation.

He won't admit that he’s too scared to eat lunch at this point because he can’t rule out food poisoning. He spends the next two hours on his phone playing Fruit Ninja and plucking feathers that accented his all-black outfit.

Several glasses of water later and a second before he’s about to beat his high score, someone taps on his shoulder, breaking him out of his concentration.

Motherfu-

He clenches his eye shut, inhaling deeply before turning around.

“James?”

“Hey, yeah, that’s me.” Bucky almost falls over the table with how fast he stands up, clearly underestimating his size. “Leah?”

“Hi.” She smiles and he finds himself smiling nervously along with her.

“Hi.” He steps out to pull out her chair for her and she laughs. "Nice to meet you."

“How long have you been waiting here?” she asks while setting down her bag.

“Around ten minutes.” He clears his throat to hopefully hide the fact that he was lying through his teeth.

“Just give me a second, I need to tell my friend I reached,” Leah pulls out her phone and he nods.

“Another glass of water for you?” The waiter seems less enthusiastic about Bucky’s 8th refill.

“Yes,” he answers, hoping he doesn’t call him out on it, “please.”

“You must be really dehydrated."

Bucky turns to look at him slowly. “I like the taste.”

He can’t really blame the guy. Bucky’s been there for hours without ordering anything solid, just leaching off their free water and complimentary bread basket.

“So, James.” She tosses her phone back into her bag, leaning forward on her palms easily. “Tell me about yourself.”

He had rehearsed this a million times. He could do this.

“I, uh,-”

“Menu?” Okay, so someone clearly had a vendetta against him.

“Thank you.” She takes it with a smile.

His morning debacle with the coffee flashes through his mind. Suddenly the idea of a diner didn’t seem so smart.

However, she’s already placed her order and George is standing beside him expectantly, daring him to ask for another glass of water, so he places his usual order and hopes that your stupid bad luck thing wore off.

He quickly learns that his date is laid back, and it isn’t hard to fall into a rhythm with her even though she’s the one asking most of the questions.

“How’d you meet Nat?” Is his attempt at one.

“She used to come in for lunch every week at the place I work.” Leah leans back in her chair. “She can really handle her alcohol.”

He’d be worried about Nat day drinking if he didn’t know about her complete inability to get drunk. She might as well have been downing glasses of lemonade.

“Yeah, she’s-” Intimidating, scary, cool “-really something.”

“She mentioned that you like movies.”  He definitely spends a lot of time watching them. “You got any recommendations?”

It’s easier to figure out how different things are or how much he missed out over the years through them. He’s glad he sat out the early 2000s, judging by their fashion sense and hairstyles.

He's watched several movies over the past few months, a few of them critically acclaimed and others who were just there for the cult following.

But now everything goes blank and the only thing that he can remember are the biopics made about Steve that were somehow hilarious for gifting him the mental image of Freddie Prinze Jr. dressed in the stars and stripes, and highly distressing for the number of historical inaccuracies. Contrary to popular belief, Stevie did not, in fact, consider running for president after he took up the shield, nor did he start his own bar chain.

He can’t name Oh Captain, My Captain starring Channing Tatum as his favourite movie on his first date and hope to make a good first impression.

“Despicable Me was kinda fun.” He wants to kill himself. “I mean, it’s the last one I saw.”

Her face twists in mild disgust, but he can tell it isn't ill-intentioned. “It's a good movie, but God, that just gave me some intense flashbacks to my aunt’s Facebook page. Don’t think I can look at a minion ever again.”

He sniggers with her. He doesn’t know what the context is.

He’s a little awkward, and he can definitely tell he isn’t the most open book but she laughs at some of his attempts at jokes. There’s a distinct discomfort he has lingering at the back of his mind prodding at him, telling him over and over again that he isn’t ready for something like this. A warning bell, asking him to leave as soon as possible because he was in a dangerous situation.

He remembers what his therapist told him about breathing and remembering that the resources he had available were greater than his anxiety and he tries to get out of his head. It takes a few minutes of acting like he's fine but he manages to do it.

Other than the one time he scalds his tongue on the coffee but played it off with a pained smile, shoving down thoughts of your stupid invention, things actually went okay.

It was nice, even though they decided by the end that it was better if they both gelled together better as friends. It lifts the strange fear he feels and he can hear Dr. Mendoza say she's proud of him for taking this step before spending three hours psychoanalysing why they decided to stay platonic.

Bucky promises to visit her sushi shop with Nat soon and she says a bottle of sake awaits him for a drinking game. He doesn’t have the heart to tell her that Nat and he share the same tolerance for alcohol.

He makes sure to leave George a tip. A big one. It’s the first time he sees the guy smile the entire evening.

He’s waving goodbye to Leah outside and he thinks that maybe it was a good end to the day and that things actually turned out fine.

Until he turns around to leave, only to have someone walk straight into him with an iced tea.

The cold comes as a bit of a shock, making him jump slightly. He stares at his shirt, using his fingertips to pull it away from his body.

The person melts into a series of apologies immediately, offering to dry clean his shirt but Bucky just forces a shake of his head and says it’s okay even though he can feel the sugar making the shirt stick to his chest. Goose feathers and iced tea. Was there anything else that would like to attach itself to him?

His fists clench and his teeth grit and he has to physically control himself from sprinting to your lair because God knows what else is in store for him and he didn't want to add in any way.

The door to the lair is locked. Fuckin’ brilliant.

When no one answers after minutes worth of waiting, he fishes for his phone and realises that maybe two hours of Fruit Ninja was not the best idea, especially on a phone known for having shitty battery life.

There’s roughly 2 percent left. By the time he opens his app to give you a call, his phone screen goes black.

He groans. He’s desperate at this point and under any other normal circumstances, he would have never, ever considered doing this.

But ten minutes later he’s outside your apartment building. You’re aware that he has your address; no doubt that it was in the SHIELD file he had gotten, and he knows that you know but it was still weird.

The buzzer has your last name listed next to it. He’s sure that he’ll break it if he keeps pressing it at this rate but he really needs you to let him in.

“Who the fu-” your voice comes through the intercom.

“I’m sorry for showing up like this, my phone died and I couldn’t reach you,” He breathes out as soon as he hears you. “But I need you to fix this.”

When he doesn’t hear a reply, he wonders if the thing actually worked. He’s about to start pressing it again-

“Bucky?” You sound a little surprised to hear him. “You’re at my house. Why are you at my house?”

“I need you to fix whatever this is.”

“What are you- fine, I’m buzzing you in,” your voice, initially confused soon trails off into something more dismissive.

There’s a soft click from the door, allowing him to push it open. The elevator is already on the same floor as him so he just uses that.

The elevator goes up a floor or two. His feet tap restlessly against the carpeted floor.

The lights turn off and everything comes to a standstill. His foot stops tapping.

He should have known. He should have fucking known.

Thirty seconds pass. He’s still in pitch darkness with the elevator showing no signs of moving.

In fact, he’s resigned to his fate. He sits down on the ground, only one step away from completely laying down and hoping someone finds his body here someday.

It’s six minutes of plain silence. He might as well get comfortable if he’s going to get stuck here for the rest of his life. Did he change his will? Does he even have a will?

There’s finally a whir. He thinks that maybe he’s going to plummet to his doom as the perfect end to this day, but then the light switches on and it starts moving upward.

It stops at the floor with a ding. He doesn’t get off the ground, only eyes the door wearily. With his luck, it wouldn’t open.

But it does and within a second he’s on his feet, scrambling to get out before it changes its mind.

He remembers your door number, basically charging down the hall to get to it.

The door is white and the paint is starting to chip off it. The handle itself is dented in a few places and he wonders if it was your fault or someone else's.

His knocks are rapid, agitated even. He doesn’t stop until he hears your loud shouts telling him to cut it out.

“What the hell were you doing, trying to break down my door?” It swings open, revealing you in your pajamas. “Haven’t you done that already? And where were you, I’ve been waiting for like, ten minutes.”

He honestly feels bad for showing up uninvited and highly flustered. He can’t imagine it’s a pretty sight either. "This bad luck shit- fix it. My whole day’s been fucked up.”

“What are you-” Your eyebrows knit together in confusion, taking in his appearance.

It takes you a second to realise what he’s talking about but when you do, your face settles.

“How was your date?” You lean against the door frame, arms crossed over your chest.

“Really,” He glowered at you, “that’s what you care about?”

“Yes.” You nod. “Did you have fun?”

He hesitates. “I guess?”

“Was she nice?”

“Yeah.” Where was this going.

“Good, I’m happy for you.” The smile on your face is genuine. “Look at you go, Casanova.”

“We agreed to be just friends, but that’s not the point here. Y/N,” he whines. “I have a mission next week, I can’t afford to fuck up. My whole day was off and I don’t want it to carry over.”

“Your whole day?” you questioned, standing up instead of leaning against the wall. “Buck-”

“Just fix it.”

“Okay.” You lift your hand up, extending it towards his face.

He waits for you to do something.

You flick him on the forehead.

“There,” you declare, going back to your previous position. “you’re cured.”

What.

He says exactly what he’s thinking.

You laugh. “Dude. I was fucking with you.”

Huh?

“Well, actually maybe just like, three things and then I got bored.”

He’s confused.

“You know,” you begin when he doesn’t reply, “taking the sugar packets, switching your coffee order when you were looking under the table, took your place when you left, the shoelaces.”

“The shoelaces?”

“Yeah.” You nod. “That’s the other ray gun you saw this morning. Unties your shoelaces. I stopped after that because I thought you figured it out.”

His face scrunches in puzzlement.

“I mean, you looked right at me and told me to cut it out.”

He racks his brain about what you could possibly be talking about before it hits him. The hungover person on the goddamn bench in the park.

“You were the one in the hoodie and sunglasses.”

“I just followed the Avengers’ code of disguise.” You shrug. “Turns out it kinda works. Also teleportation. So helpful.”

He forgot about the teleportation. That's why you could do all of it so fast without him noticing you were even there.

“What about the fucking geese?”

You pause for a second. “The geese?”

“And the elevator.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” The confusion on your face is apparent. “What geese and elevator? I have no idea what you’re saying right now.”

“Everything’s been a mess today,” he grumbles. “I don’t know what’s real or not.”

“I swear I had nothing to do with it other than what I mentioned.” There’s indignation on your features that quickly gives way to delight. “Holy shit, did I just accidentally invent portable bad luck?”

“Okay-” his palm finds its way to his forehead in exasperation, “-then what the hell was the smell?”

“What smell- oh, the one from the box?”

He nods briskly.

“Secretions Magnifique.” You snorted. “It’s a perfume. The worst rated one I could find.”

“Perfume?”

“With notes of milk, seaweed and sandalwood.”

“It wasn’t an inator?”

“No, it wasn- did you get vibe checked by a goose at the park?” You stifle a laugh when you notice a stray feather on his thigh.

“What does that even mean?” he asks in despair.

“I can see why it attacked you. You got bad juju.” You raise an eyebrow. “Maybe if you stop staring so much-”

“So I just have shit luck.” Is that a fucking relief or even worse?

“Well,” you begin but decide not to continue.

Even with all the irritability masking it, you could see that he genuinely was just not having a good time.

“Wait here a second.”

You leave him at the door. He shifts his balance and sighs, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. He still had to walk back to the Tower. Maybe he could grab a slice of pizza along the way since he skipped lunch.

“Okay, here.” You return with a large glass of water. He only looks at it. “It’s just water, I promise. You look like you ran a marathon."

He takes it from you sceptically, pushing away the urge to sniff at it. It’s gone within a few gulps.

You wait until he’s finished to point at his arm. He draws his eyebrows together, but you only curl your index finger and beckon for him to give you his hand.

He reluctantly extends it towards you.

“Don’t laugh,” you warn him, taking his metal arm. “This usually helps me.”

You tie a small bracelet around his wrist. It has a few beads, which he realises represent the colours of the solar system.

“Keep that for good luck.” You pat it gently after securing it. “I think you just had a bad day; those don’t last very long. Do you want to charge your phone before you leave?”

“Uh-” The bracelet’s pretty, the colours shine against the dark vibranium. “-no, I’m good. I’ll just leave.”

“Okay. Anything else I can help you with or will you be fine?”

He narrows his eyes. “You’re being suspiciously nice.”

“I’m not evil all the time.” You huff. “My hours are in the morning.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

“Okay,” he says again. “I’m gonna go then.”

“See you next week.” You give him a little wave. “I’d say break a leg on your mission but knowing your situation...”

He scoffs. “Thanks.”

You make a move to close the door when starts walking down the hallway towards the exit.

He adjusts the beads slightly so he can see them better. The Earth one has glitter in it. He thinks it’s cute.

“Bucky.”

He turns around.

There’s a hint of a smile on your face.

“Take the stairs.”

He doesn’t have to be told twice.

Next part

[suguruverse]

— HAIKYUU BOYS WHEN YOU PULL A APRIL FOOLS PRANK ON THEM

includes - suna rintarou, oikawa tooru, iwaizumi hajime and bokuto koutaro

a/n - don’t ask why i posted this a day late but pls enjoy <33

published date - 02/04/21

↳ SUNA RINTAROU

- sick of your bullshit 1.0

- he thought you just making his lunch like you normally do

- he often said that you didn’t need to but he always looks forward to lunch time when he gets to see what you made him

- so today when you made him lunch, he was not suspicious at all

- when he took a bite, he was like why? is? it? so? spicy?

- but he remained calm and just kept eating

- and by the time he was half way through his lunch is was sweating buckets

- his face was red, he was aggressively blowing his nose, sweat was dripping down his face and he was chugging bottles of water like it was nothing

- he didn’t even suspect that it was a prank, just that you have weirdly high spice tolerance

- his teammates were getting a little bit worried, seeing him stick out his tongue like a dog and fanning his face like his life depended on it

- yeah, you guys were gonna have a long conversation at home

- he had just finished his 4th water bottle when he received a text from you

lol text convo - sunas pov

m’lady: how’s the food baby? :)

me: why’s it so spicy

me: it tastes good but i think i’m dying

me: laugh out loud

m’lady: dang i didn’t think it would be THAT spicy

me: huh?

m’lady: happy april fools??

me: fuck you

m’lady: is that a promise?? 🥺🥺

me: shut up i’m crying rn

m’lady: then come home you dramatic bitch

me: i’ll remember this day you damn brat

- in conclusion pranking him sucks and he always gets you back for it

- except his pranks are 100% worse and probably emotionally traumatising

↳ OIKAWA TOORU

- this man istg he is so annoying

- this man is so needy and dramatic

- but that’s probably why you decided to do this

- he just has the best reactions for pranks

- yeah nah i have no idea what you were thinking when you decided to do this

- ditching a date with your boyfriend to hang out with your friends??

- um big mistake

“my love, are you ready for our dinner date yet?”

- yeah you weren’t, babes we going clubbing, but he didn’t know that

- and plus your outfit didn’t really speak ‘fancy dinner’

“oh tooru!! great, i need your opinions! what do you think of my outfit”

“darling, you look absolutely stunning, but a bit much for a dinner date don’t you think?”

“baby what? i’m going out with friends tonight, to the club, but don’t worry, i’ll be home early”

“my love?? we had a date tonight. did you forget? we’ve been planning this for awhile”

“tooru, what’re you talking about? i told you i was gonna go out ages ago”

“oh but-“

“oh shit tooru, i’m late, i gotta go, i’ll see you later okay? see you later my love”

- and you left, leaving your boyfriend heartbroken

- he literally dropped onto the floor clutching his chest hoping you would come home and see him, then cuddle him until the morning

- and there he laid for another 10 minutes in disgust

- how dare you leave your precious boyfriend for your friends

- you decided you were done pranking him so you enter your apartment to your boyfriend cracking open a new vodka bottle

“tooru!”

“oh... it’s you”

“um yeah”

“i thought you were going out with your friends. what? did you finally remember about the date with your handsome boyfriend?”

“tooru”

“no go away, i’m mad”

“april fools tooru”

- when i tell you this man gave you the biggest side eye

“hmph i knew that, i just wanted to see how far you would take the prank”

“okay baby, sure you did”

“pfft darling, don’t underestimate your lovely boyfriend, so come on let’s go”

“go where”

“cuddle, obviously, i still haven’t forgiven you”

- 4/10 dont prank him, he’s annoying

↳ IWAIZUMI HAJIME

- sick of your bullshit 2.0

- he swears you’re gonna give him grey hairs during his 20’s and let’s be honest you probably are

- he just worries about you too much

- he hates seeing you hurt, sick, stressed or just uncomfortable in general

- so you were hella cruel for doing this to him

*massive thud noise lol idk*

“OW, haji, HAJI it hurts please hurry it hurts so bad”

- all of a sudden your boyfriend becomes an olympic sprinter

“doll? what’s wrong baby? did you fall? is your ankle okay? do you want me to get ice? call an ambulance?”

“haji, please i don’t know, it just hurts so bad. please make it stop”

“doll it’s okay, just breathe, can you do that for me pretty girl?”

“mhm”

“good girl, it looks like you sprained your ankle, i’ll go get some ice, okay doll?”

“please hurry haji, it hurts a lot”

“it’s okay, i’m sorry, i’ll be back super quick”

- you were gonna cry, your boyfriend was being so cute and considerate

- yeah well wait until he finds out this was a prank

- in less than 2 minutes, he came running back with an ice pack

“here doll, does this feel better?”

“mhm, thank you haji, i love you”

“i love you more, c’mon i’ll carry you to the couch”

- ugh what a man

“hey haji?”

“yeah doll? what’s up?”

“happy april fools”

“huh?”

“i’m not actually injured, it was a prank”

iwaizumi: 😐😑😐

“i should have known, you fucking brat”

“hehe sorry, can i have a hug”

“no, hug yourself”

- 202/10 bc he’s husband material and has nice arms

↳ BOKUTO KOUTARO

- babie 🥺🥺

- you always loved leaving him small motivational notes for him and he loves it so much

- he always has the biggest smile whenever he sees a note that you wrote in his lunch or his duffle bag

- but today you put like 391 notes in his bag without him noticing

- so when he arrived at practice, he was hoping to get changed into his gear but was instead greeted with a pile of notes

- he picked one up at looked at it

“you look like the scum between my toes”

- okay that was mean

- so he picked up another

“your armpits smell like blue cheese”

- he could have started crying right then and there

- so he texted you

bo’s pov

me: baby :((

my pretty baby: what’s wrong my love? did something happen at practice?

me: did you put these notes in my bag? :((

my pretty baby: i did!! happy april fools baby!!

my pretty baby: did you not like it?

me: it was mean, should i read all of it?

my pretty baby: i spent all night writing it so yes

my pretty baby: but you don’t have to if you don’t wanna, some of them are really weird and mean

me: no i wanna, you worked hard on them!!

my pretty baby: are you sure? they might hurt your feelings

me: im sure!! im stronger than you think!! :))

- the rest of msby saw some of the notes and laughed

- atsumu texted you about how funny they were

- but sakusa told you to never do it again because he doesn’t wanna deal with bokuto crying ever 

- what a babe

- 827282/10 because he’s such a sweetheart

[mostlymaudlin]

writer tag game wooooo

thanks @palimpsessed and @captain-aralias for the tags!!

a few tags.. @urban-sith @snowybank @tea-brigade @seducing-a-vampire @xivz @facewithoutheart @unseelieseelie @motherscarf @stillmadaboutpetra but as always i love reading these so lie and say i tagged u if u wanna do it!!

How many works do you have on AO3? 17, 15 of which are for simon snow series What’s your total AO3 word count? 97,953 How many fandoms have you written for and what are they? ive published for three! simon snow, check please, and one direction. ive also written some steve/bucky that never went anywhere. What are your top five fics by kudos? In black ink my love may still shine bright Want to mark you up (e-rated part two to "In black ink.."!) Nothing Equals the Splendor a bully and a snob and a complete arsehole Light Me Up

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I try to but if too many come in at a time i get overwhelmed haha. that's only happened a few times tho, toward the end of my multi-chap when people were subscribed and ready. i love replying to comments bc i write a lot more than i post — if something makes it to ao3, that means i really like the story! and if people want to talk to me about it, that's like.. the best thing ever.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

i was gonna be like "oh i always give them a happy ending" but then ao3 told me — that's not true! Yellow was a lil deleted scene thing i did abt simon buying his yellow breakup stationery, so obviously the ending is big owie. and my humdrum fic, Hunger of the Shadow... i mean its a humdrum fic lol. idk which is angstier, its different types i guess.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

i got a comment that bothered me once that was like sort of judgmental abt a bit of my plot, and they were like "you should have done __ instead." and i was like ummmmmm... but not HATE i suppose.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i wrote smut on my own once (Want to mark you up). i mostly wrote this one to capitalize on the horny momentum of In black ink my love may still shine bright, in which simon and baz go out to a bar, etc. also i wanted to make a joke about lamb hahahah.

then i did a few smut pieces with some pals via Frantic Fanfic. One of them, A for Effort, is actually technically my second most-kudos-ed fic, but it didn't feel right to claim it because Kay (xivz) did the heavy lifting on that one!

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Just the Frantic Fanfic stuff!

What’s your all time favorite ship?

i wanna say snowbaz because im elbow-deep in it right now, but i don't know! i've definitely written most for snowbaz, but i think that's just because i'm more confident of a writer now than i was in my other fandoms. i think ill always be a slut for a certain 1d ship that really embarrasses me but i like..... can't get over it lmfao. also steve/bucky comes back to haunt me quite often

What’s a WIP that you want to finish, but don’t think you ever will?

i have a lot of wips that im determined to do, but it might be a while. i have one wip that is heavily rooted in a new england summer setting that i recently moved to my Graveyard folder on google drive because i was like... i don't think i can write this as well now that summer's over. the first sentence in that doc (which is entirely scrambled outline) is "this fic should smell like sunscreen." i will probably revisit next summer if im still around because im super invested in it. it's a childhood friends>rivals>friends>lovers with copious new englandisms, ghost hunting, simpard, explorations of guilt that are like super catholic (again: hello new england), queer identity stuff. i think shepard is a trans dude in that one too which was fun. idk!! this answer got long. it makes me more certain i will return to it lol.

What are your writing strengths?

hmmm probably like - earnest descriptions of emotion? like, if the character is going through something, im going to take you through allll the stages. i personally think im funny, which is what matters to me as my own reader lmfao. and i think i like to break them out of the usual settings and plotlines! i really like setting as a literary tool, thinking abt the obstacles that come wherever your characters are. im in the ideas stage of a road trip fic and i think that's going to be a really good way for me to flex there.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Sometimes dialogue, sometimes not. Elaborate plots that can't be tied to character development. I've said this before, but I find my writing to be quite plain in terms of syntax/word choice/etc... this is usually fine but sometimes my writing can get very like "action, thought, action, though, action, dialogue." idk. i dont know that i have a word for this, am open to suggestions.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in fic?

i can only write in english!

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

one direction lol

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

pshhhhh....... i like really love everything ive published for the simon snow series so idk. im most emotionally invested in my multichap, Nothing Equals the Splendor. But also i had the most fun writing both Jump Up, Chosen One! (where they get stuck in a mario game lmfao) and Light Me Up (my stoner fic). theyre all my favorites for different reasons lmfao.

if you read this whole thing i love u. i put the read more cut in at the top and then i was like 'i can wax on as long as i want now" hahaha. i love talking abt writing and idc if it makes me self-absorbed i love my fics 😂

[bonesandthebees]

Hi! Fellow fic writer here and I just wanted to ask how you're able to update multiple fics at the same time and put out new ones so quickly. It's something I personally struggle with so I'm in awe of your ability to be so consistent with it

hello anon!!! uhhh gonna be honest, I'm still figuring that one out LMAO tbh I'm very surprised i've been able to keep up with posting both the stars and their children and honey and tangerines concurrently bc i really thought that wasn't something i could do

I ramble so so much in this ask for some reason so i'm gonna put it under a read more im so sorry idk why i rambled a ton on this lmao

basically before i wrote nocturnal animals, I had a very strict system for how i wrote fics. I would have one ongoing big multi-chapter story (ie: clinic, world forgetting, stars) and then in between chapter updates for that, I would write smaller stories so that I wasn't bored just writing one single fic. these smaller stories I would pre-write in their entirety before posting them, and then I would update them roughly every other day (ie: what the water gave me, vanderlyle, under the brine) or they would just be one shots i wrote on a whim within a few hours (ie: rotting fruit, dance with me). this was so that I didn't start a bunch of multi chapter stories and then get bored of them and not finish them

then i came up with the idea for nocturnal animals. and I had planned on NA being like vanderlyle/under the brine where I prewrote it in its entirety and then just posted a chapter every other day, but for some reason I was struggling so hard with actually getting myself to write it. usually this would mean I just abandon the fic, but a lot of my friends were excited for it, and I really wanted to write it. so I came up with my experiment. I would post the first chapter I already had finished of NA, but I would put a huge disclaimer that I might not finish it and that updates might not be regular. basically giving myself an out in case I got bored of it. but then I actually finished NA, and I really liked the system of having a smaller multi chap to work on in between the bigger multi chap story updates, where I could actually post the updates immediately and get more satisfaction out of posting it

honestly idk if this system is going to work for me for long. i'm already struggling with the idea of finishing the big wave surfing au, and while i love honey and tangerines i don't have a set ending in mind for it so that scares me bc it's the first time i'm writing a fic that i don't already have an ending for. but! i'm just going for it!

this is a super long winded way of me saying that I need multiple projects going on at once because I'll get insanely bored if i'm stuck working on a single story for ages with nothing else. but you have to experiment to try and find a system that works for you. either way, you gotta build up stamina to write quickly and update regularly and all that jazz. i've been writing fic for 7ish years now, and it's taken me a long time to develop those skills, so don't get down on yourself if you lose motivation or abandon stuff. you really just gotta practice writing and building that stamina and you'll get better on it! also, don't force yourself to write something you're not having fun with. this is fanfic, you're doing it for free. abandon it if you don't want to write it anymore. just the act of writing anything, even unfinished, will help you build your skills!

oh, also, if you can, try to write at least a little bit every day. it doesn't have to be anything you publish. it can just be a tiny scene or even just a few paragraphs of description. literally writing anything will help you keep strengthening your writing muscles

[halogen2]

okay i havent done a life + writing update on here in a hot minute so here we go

hello! things r okay. i am almost halfway done with senior year which is horrifying but also rlly exciting. theres some bad news with my debut novel that i will have to release sometime soon (nothing too bad -- just stuff on my publishers side bc everyone is overworked and the whole paper shortage thing and etc etc etc ... will talk more abt this when i know if i can). butttt im getting my FINAL line edits back sometime this month, including notes from an authenticity reader, so im excited to c an outside perspective on my book (meaning, like, not just my agent or my editor or my friends). also hopefully cover things will rlly get going soon lol.

while im waiting for all of that, ive decided to do nanowrimo for the first time in my entire life. so far its been fun and a lot less stressful than i expected! i think mainly b/c ive decided that my daily goal is 1k and not 1.5-2k, b/c my goal is NOT to completely finish a novel at the end of this month (altho maybe that will happen considering how ive been going so far!), but instead to get back in the habit of writing for an hour every day. its only be a week obvs but ive felt. rejuvenated, honestly. i missed writing new words and just letting myself be In the writing instead of editing, revising, worrying about publishing stuff, etc.....

with school, ive been rlly stressed tho b/c im taking an asl class and altho i rlly like learning the language, my teacher. sucks. she is Not teaching us and she doesnt seem to understand why every single student is failing, so it just makes going to class and taking the exams miserable, even tho i want to learn. also, ive been stressed bc im the editor-in-chief of my schools lit mag, which has been dead for the past 2 years (partially cuz of the pandemic), so im having to revive it almost entirely on my own.... we're at crunch time now where i have to teach myself adobe indesign and make sure it all gets done in time to print so we can have a launch party at the end of the semester. so thats been stressful, altho i am rlly excited to have a finished project and stuff.

also last week was my bfs and my anniversary ! which was rlly nice. i got him a cute star chart of the day we started dating as a present (dont tell him) and thatll come in the mail this week so :). and my 22nd birthday is this upcoming saturday! which im excited abt mainly b/c my bf and i are driving to philly so i can meet his friends for the first time, and then we're going to DC on sunday for a half waif concert!! im so so soooo excited to see her live. she is definitely my top artist of the year and mythopoetics meant so much to me this summer. so overall next weekend will be fun i hope!!

anyway thats abt it probably <3

[bleufrost]

I don't know if you write smut but if you're comfortable with it, could you do some nsfw headcannons with Loki or maybe James Conrad? Thank you!

Loki x reader nsfw headcannons:

a/n: this is the first time im publishing smut so please let me know what you think! headcannon and drabble requests are open!

warnings: um,,,this is nsfw my lovely dudes. theres some smut, cockwarming, teasing, and namecalling. ya know, loki shit.

ok so lets get one thing very clear, Loki likes to be in charge. I'm not talking, mean dom that throws you around in charge, I'm saying he likes making it abundantly clear that even when he's the one getting tied up and pushed down, its because he's letting you do that to him; because he wants you to do that to him.

One of Loki's favorite things is moving up your body, forcing you to stay still as he allows his breath to brush your delicate skin and cause your most sensitive places to tingle with excitement.

He gets off on teasing you. All the time. Being the prince meant that he had to be shown a certain amount of respect, and god did he use that to his advantage.

Forcing you to bow to him, kneel for him, and even kiss his hand from time to time was his favorite form of punishment. He loved to put you in the most compromising positions, leaning close and whispering completely filthy things into your ear before nipping it slighlty and moving away just as Thor or another member of the royal group entered. Loki would smirk as you would desperately try to contain your blush and stop the wet heat of your core from making itself known to the new guest.

You would tease him back, of course. Calling him your highness and my god in between desperate moans while you came unraveled beneath silken sheets; and then turning around and using those exact same titles to address him in public. Loki's breathing would hitch, sometimes choking on his drink or moving to hide the growing bulge in his pants as he tried in vain to act as though those names weren't something that caused a blinding shot of heat to run directly to his growing member.

He would always punish you dutifully for little stunts like that. Loki was a glutton for dealing out punishment.

Most nights would find you tied down to the bed, legs spread apart as he slowly allowed his skin to take on the icy chill that was familiar to him. The frost of his fingertips would dance against your hot skin, making their way down to your core before entering you slowly. The cold contrasted greatly with the heat of your slit, and the pleasure it brought on left you screaming and begging for more. It really was less of a punishment than a reward, but neither one of you would complain.

Loki can also be soft and needy. He has a lot of pressure on him to be great, and sometimes he just needs to be held as he rocks his hips into you.

Some nights, when he's really needy he likes to just lay there with his cock inside of you. It comforts him to feel your walls wrapped around him, knowing that he's safe and able to be so intimate with you with no expectations. Sometimes he falls asleep, still deeply buried within you. Other times, neither one of you can stop the slow movements of your hips as you begin to squirm, needing to feel something more.

When you would start moving first, letting out little whimpers as you ached to feel his cock stretch your walls and push into you in the most delicious ways, Loki would make sure you got everything you wanted. He loves grabbing your thighs, pushing himself as deep as he can go into your wet core before pulling back out, barely allowing the swollen tip of his throbbing member to stay pressed against your entrance before pulling you closely to him and back down onto his length. There's nothing he craves more than to hear you cry out his name, feeding his ego and reminding him that there was no one you wanted more than him.

Loki doesn't really care much for degradation in the form of terms such as slut or whore. He much prefers to make you feel small and innocent.

His favorite names for you in the bedroom are "pet" and "kitten." There's just something about seeing you licking up and down his cock and gently rolling his balls between your soft hands that warrants a name such as kitten.

Loki loves to pull beautiful little noises out of you whenever he can. He knows all the right places to bite, suck, and lick to coax the most sensual whimpers and cries from your lips, and it makes his cock harden and throb almost painfully to hear them. He's not selfish with his own noises either. Loki loves to reward you with his own breathy moans and dirty talk, letting you know just how good of a girl you're being as you take his hard length fully inside of you. It turns you both on to no end to hear the other's pleasured moans.

Overall, Loki is just fucking great in the bedroom. He may be a cocky jerk sometimes, but the way in which he works magic on your swollen clit, feeding your hungry pussy with his dick, and leaving you breathless and crying out for more kind of justifies the behavior.

a/n: ill probably do james conrad after i rewatch skull island, but i hope you liked this! ((im only tagging full length fics bc i feel like tagging these isn't worth peoples time?? idk im self conscious lol))

[aloera]

The ask prompt is too long to fit into an ask TT_TT but here's the doc for it docs(.)google(.)com/document/d/1yDI7iFRhOJ8ENv_IwZAo3rDSUqj80EiJROS10RzRbj4/edit

the lengths u are going for this,,, much appreciated you're very sweet!!!

prompts + answers under the cut!!

INTRODUCTION

Name: aloera

AO3 account: aloera

Fandoms you write for: bnha

How many stories have you written so far: 19

FANFICTION PROFILE

What's your favorite fandom to write for? hmm,,, used to do pjo and eah (ever after high) and eah was fun as fuck i will say!!! i think bnha is my fav mostly bc i made the most friends in this fandom :D

What's your favorite character/person to write for? bkg and kirishima!! cannot choose do not make me <3

Fic you'd want to improve? probably what we deserve? i rushed the beginning and the confession is a bit stilted imo

Hardest fic you've written? between lion and men -_- bc there is so much canon compliant stuff i've gotta write out before i get to the divergence and its HARD

Easiest fic you've written? come home to me!!! it happened so easily,,, no second guessing no writers block just vibes <33 was lovely i miss it

What would you say is the most "famous" fic you've ever written? also probably come home to me? its got the most interaction

first line of the first fic you've ever written and published. [not including my 2014 ffnet fics] "The bell rings, class starts, and Katsuki and Midoriya are inexplicably absent." from come home to me

Have you ever done a collab with another writer? yes!!!!! on two separate occasions and its so fucking fun i highly recommend trying it out its the best

Do you beta? if asked but honestly im a shit beta lmao

Do you like joining fic fests/exchanges? depends on what i have going on irl but in general yeah!!

FANFICTION PREFERENCES

Fluff or angst? definitely fluff

"OCs" or "Reader" inserts? reader inserts!! have been going ham on them recently

Blurbs or drabbles? blurbs!!

One thing you love about fanfiction i just. i really love slice of life romance?? and most media doesn't give you that bc its dedicated to plot and action and that's valid!! but fanfiction fills in the gap which is really nice

One thing you don't like about fanfiction most of the stuff i don't like is less about actual fanfiction and more about how people behave about it

What is/are your favorite fandom author/authors? IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE!!! TURN IT UP!!!

bnha: hiuythn, rae_tnub, Moniix, Ata_Lanta, wrunic, chezka, PurplePersnickety, surveycorpsejean, mahadevi, arxaris, deviance, Oceanbreeze7, MikeWritesThings, bonnia, wonhaebunny, dinosuns

voltron: hiuythn, Oceanbreeze7, DeerstalkerDeathFrisbee, arahir, dinosuns,

and honorable mention to loveclouds im not even in the haikyuu fandom i just love their fics So Much

these are just the ones off the top of my head i have so many favourites idc if i'm only supposed 2 have one!! die mad about it!!!

What is your favorite trope? secret relationship + relationship reveal til the day i die babie <3 <3

Least favorite trope? hm,,, probably just like. angst lmao i cannot stand 90% of it

A fanfiction cliché that you can't help but love? coffeeshop aus,,,, so good

Do you have a type when it comes to pairings? the otp where its like. piece of shit + himbo = love. ex. krbk, catradora, jade/beck

Favorite setting/au? hm,,, truly i cannot pick one KGKSJNHKj but i really like college aus!! and modern aus!! and roommate aus!!

Explain the meaning of your favorite line of dialogue you've written as if someone hasn't read it in context. “He doesn’t know,” Katsuki says, softly. “My timer stopped and nothing happened. He’s not mine.”

the line is from what we deserve!! it's a soulmate au where your timer counts down to the moment that you meet your soulmate!! bakugou's timer ends at USJ when he and kirishima attack kurogiri at the same time (impulsive kings <33) but kirishima's timer doesn't end until kamino because that's when he accepts himself as bakugous soulmate!! unfortunately, when bakugous timer has reached 0, he turned to see that kirishima's was still ticking and therefore believes that kirishima isn't his soulmate.

this line just,, idk. it's really sad. bakugou is such an action-driven character? if something doesn't go his way he Makes it go his way. he's got this insanely volatile quirk and he's got impeccable control of it!! but his love for kirishima isn't something that he can change and he's not going to ruin kirishima's chance of finding his own soulmate because he loves him and wants him to be happy. i really wanted to focus on how resigned he is? and how unusual that is for a character like him.

Favorite trope/genre to write? again, secret relationship with relationship reveals <33 fluff in general is my wheelhouse!!!

A trope/genre you haven't written but think would be a fun challenge? idk if this counts?? have been working on some dead dove concepts!! its super different from what i normally write so its a cool challenge

The one trope/concept you'll never touch and why probably cheating/infidelity?? it just looks,,, super difficult to write well and i don't have enough of an interest in it to try it out

Which do you prefer to write: longer or shorter fics? shorter!! low attention span gang <3

Ideal length to read? 5-10k?

Ideal length to write? 4-8k!!

How long was the longest fic you've ever written? control fraek is around 28k i think?

Have you ever written an AU? yeah!! i've done restaurant au's, soulmate au's, pro hero aus, and fantasy aus (general, not the bnha fantasy ending)

What's your favorite AU trope? hm,, probably when two people in authority are in a secret relationship? ceo's/uni professors/etc etc

Have you ever written smut? yeah!! was. difficult tho

What's your comfort genre? (the one you fall on most in writing/reading) fluff,,, hurt/comfort,,, fix-it fics with happy endings <3

If you were to start writing in other fandoms, which would they be? maybe jjk?? the characters are really cool!!!! fr i might go back to my ever after high roots i love the characters and setting so Much its so fun!!! idec if no ones into it anymore!!!!!

Is there a trope you think you could be easily recognized by in your writing? i've had people say they saw the mention of buff hagakure and recognized it was me so. probably that skdjhnksjd

WRITING STYLE

How would you describe your style? i tend to use shorter sentences and pretty simple words i think? and i gravitate towards lighthearted concepts that allow for ensemble casts and humour!!

Describe your style in three words romcom but fanfic

Favorite words to use when writing? the word reverent!! fuckin love including it!!

Dialogue tags or no dialogue tags? (she said, he said, they said, etc) dialogue tags!!!

Favorite dialogue tag (other than said, if you use them) again idk if this counts but "they said softly" is unmatched

Long sentences vs short vs a mix short <33

What colors would you use to describe your writing? hm,,, depends on the fic i would say?? control fraek is dark green to me?? kinda like a forest at night yk?? scary but there's still life there. sugar cookies is yellow like early morning sunlight, when it rains is yellowy-orange like a caution sign. not gonna list all of them cause theres a lot its just. do u get it? the colours change based on the vibe of the fic.

What song or music genre would you use to describe your writing? think. i am constantly trying to emulate that moment at the end of wasteland baby when hozier goes "im in love/im in love with you."

What kind of metaphors do you rely on? religious metaphors my beloved <33 they're just so pretty!!! i also love comparing stuff to water for some reason?? like that ocean vuong quote thats like "what are you now?/water." it goes hard!!!

What's something you'd say is experimental in your writing at this time? definitely action!! i have,,, no idea how to write it so anything i do is really just me playing around and seeing what works and what doesn't

Do you prefer to write by hand or to type? i've tried both!! personally i prefer typing because it goes way faster but i will say that writing by hand lets me get words down when i'm going through writer's block

What is your preferred place to write (notebook, laptop, cellphone, etc.)? laptop!!

What app/apps do you use to write (word, notepad, etc.)? google docs skjdnkjh its fine on desktop but mobile is,,,,, disgusting

Do you keep a notebook or file/notes page in your phone/device for notes on your writing? ngl i just have everything organized in my drive?? one folder per fandom and then sub folders for ideas+hcs, unfinished wips, and finished fics. multichaps get sub sub folders so i can organize outlines and drafts

Do you listen to music to help you write? yeah!! playlists organized by fic vibe :D

Where do you usually go to write (bedroom, living room, etc.)? mostly in my bedroom??? but moving around to different stops helps too i think!!

How long does it usually take for you to write? again this depends on what i have going on irl, how attached i am to the idea, my mindset at the time, etc!! i am,, the least consistent person skjnhdkjh.

What's your favorite font to use when writing? times new roman my beloved

Other writing habits? sometimes i'll write in the dark?? bad for my eyes but for some reason it gets the words flowing

CONCEPTUALIZATION

How do you conceptualize your ideas? (See specific moments like they're a movie, writing specific lines in your head, don't know until you put the words on paper, etc.) i tend to get inspiration from movies, books, poems, or other fics!!! sometimes one line just makes me go oh,, i want to write something like that,,, and then it helps me create an idea that makes me feel the same way?? i did this with control fraek!!!! i wanted a scenario where bakugou was cold and calculating and i was like hm. to do that he’d have to be focusing on something important. and from there i was able to flesh out the rest of the idea.

Which comes first: the pairing or the plot? with krbk its always always the pairing,, i'll be sitting there like wow <33 i love them <33 what if one of them had amnesia <33 (which, yes, wip!!) otherwise it's usually the plot!! and i slot in characters that i feel make sense

Have you ever used a prompt? yeah!! used a prompt for wlw week 2020 and it was fun as hell

Do you write around the story around a specific scene you want to get to or do you start from a plot idea definitely the first!!!! i almost always write like,,, a super messy scene thats 90% dialogue, keep it in my head, and then write the entire fic around that one moment

Do you find that you include a projection of some part of yourself in the way you write a character? a lot of the time when i write love confessions or love in general i'll have one of the characters think or say that the other person makes their head quiet? and it's because that's what i feel whenever i'm in love?? a quiet mind. i project on characters yeah but i think most of the projection actually goes to the way that i write love

Do you research some of the things you write deeply, partially and kind of wing the rest, or play entirely by ear (in this case, go with whatever base knowledge of the subject you have)? most of the time if i do research it'll be about the setting (ex. the izakaya in to have and to hold) or if i'm having the characters interact with an object that they like. need to know how to use (me, in control fraek: google. hey google. does someone die if they get shot in the foot??? no???? awesome thank u <3)

Have you ever had an idea for a story and forgot about it? lmaoo yeah all the time i'll find like 500-2k words of concepts in my gdocs like i do. not remember this at all

Is there a trope you think you could be easily recognized by in your writing? probably krbk secret relationship lmao

Are there concepts you've tried that turned out better than expected? yeah!! i fully thought the action in control fraek would be awful but it turned out not bad??? which im happy with

Are there concepts you've tried that turned out worse than you expected? again, what we deserve, i personally think it would have worked out better if i'd paced it slower and drawn out the pining but i. do not feel like going back to fix it so its staying the way that it is. pining is so fucking hard to do AHHHH i get so tired with it!!! im like just date already!!!!

PROCESS

How do you come up with titles? in rare occasions (literally. all my multichaps for some reason) the title comes after writing like .5 words of the first chapter im like YES this is it!!!!! sometimes i write the whole thing and pick out one line that fits (what i did with come home to me) a lot of the time i just. steal from songs or poems that i like

What's your favorite emotion to cause on your readers? i like making people happy!!!! love when people comment saying they're cheered up

What's your favorite emotion to write? lovelovelovelovelovelove

Have you ever cried or felt any emotion while reading something you've written? never cried?? but sometimes i'll rereading my hurt/comfort fics 4. yk. comfort

Do you write in order or whatever comes to you? in order!! unless i have a scene that i Need to write and i'll quickly jot it down so that i don't forget

Usual way you procrastinate while writing? ...doing asks like this, making playlists, discord, watching netflix. what don't i do smh

Do you outline or free write? i am. so shit at outlines. i mostly free write and write lil notes for stuff that i wanna add later

Do you set word goals or scene goals (scenes you want to include)? yes!! like i said i'll write loose notes for scenes that i want to add later!! it gives me something to write towards :D

What do you consider when writing your scenes? what goes into making the atmosphere and mood you want? to set a scene i do two things? the first is like,, the five senses bc that always sets the scene really well and makes it feel Real. i'll visualize stuff in my head like its a movie and write out what i would want to tell the set designer?? if the lights are low, if the space is busy, if it's supposed to exude comfort or not.

for putting forward the character's mood one thing i've found that makes a difference is sentence length!! long sentences are good for making a character seem flustered and nervous or not really in control of their emotions? good for love confessions. short sentences are good for when the character is focused on something or short on time. good for fights!!

What's something you never considered to include in your writing that you can't leave out now? def buff hagakure,,,, once i thought of it i was like. if i don't include this at least once in every single fic how could i look at myself in the mirror!!!!!! how could i face anyone!!!!

How do you start a story? establishing a fact about the character or describing the setting! option a is one single thread of gold, option b is between lion and men

How do you end a story? either by tying it back to the beginning or doing like a funny kind of closing??? option a is sugar cookies, option b is a godless society

How do you get out of writer's block? change something!! move something!! i go from typing to handwriting, moving from my bedroom to my living room, switching wips to work on something else!! i do sprints as well?? give myself like fifteen minutes to write something and sometimes 200 words opens up the way for another 2k. sometimes i'll just delete like 500 words and start fresh

Do you edit? or do you toss your writing out there? i edit!!! i'll go over it myself then send it to one or two betas (bee my beloved <33)

How do you edit? do you use spellcheck, grammar checkers, etc? bee is my grammar checker bc he is So Good with grammar. i use grammarly as well for spellcheck stuff mostly?? sometimes my edit process is just like "am i tired of looking at this!! yes <3" and then i post it

PROGRESS

Do you usually like what you write? yeah!!! i post stuff that makes me happy and that i'm fine with rereading!!! i write stuff for self-indulgence reasons first and foremost and i think my writing reflects that sjhnksj

Have you ever written something you didn't like but posted anyways? nope!! even what we deserve i LIKED even if i see a lot of room 4 improvement!! if i don't like smth it's not getting posted

Do you find yourself rereading your writing often? yeah!! the reason i wrote so much krbk secret relationship is because i loved it but i'd read all that there was so i just,, wrote more,, ngl its kinda nice being in a place where i actually like my writing bc i can write stuff that i want to see and really enjoy it!!

Can you tell us anything about your current WIP? sure!! i'm currently working on when it rains which is a fic where bakugou gets hit by a crying quirk!! i'm gonna be using it to explore So Much of all might's character and his relationships with bakugou and aizawa (and i think some people from his past!!)

Can you give us a sneak peek on your current WIP? “You did something. What the hell did you do?” Kirishima sounds pissed off. It would amuse Katsuki if he wasn’t fighting just to stay standing.

“Nothing he didn’t ask for,” Shinsou replies.

“K’ri… shima,” Katsuki croaks out. “‘S fine. Not him.”

His chest collapses back into the familiar dry heaving after that but Kirishima shuts up. He doesn’t apologize to Shinsou.

Kirishima’s a good friend, stubborn and loyal. He stands by Katsuki’s side like an attack dog, blocking him from the view of anyone ogling at his tears.

The last line you've written Ochako knows more than she'd realized. She knows enough to keep her guard up.

It’s not enough.

Open a wip. what’s the first line?

Katsuki wakes up feeling like absolute fucking shit.

INSIGHT

What's your favorite thing about writing? touched on this before but it's mainly just being able to write the things that i want to see and actually enjoy them!!! actually reread them!!!! i thought "wouldn't it be cool if bkg and kirishima owned a restaurant together" and then i wrote it and i like it enough to reread it!!!! being able to create content for myself makes me. so happy

How do you keep yourself inspired? this is gonna sound narcissistic maybe but honestly i'm just really excited about my ideas and where i'm gonna take them and the idea of "i'm gonna get to That scene" keeps me going through the entire thing. also my friends!!!! i'll talk to them about fics and their reactions keep me hyped up enough to finish!!!!

What is your favorite thing to write? just,, slice of life romance,,, stuff thats silly and makes people laugh!!

What do you think your strengths are in writing? i'm good with dialogue!! i do lil voice acting sessions with myself to make sure everything sounds natural and like it's coming from that character skhjnskj

i'm comfortable with my portrayal of love as well??? i spend a lot of time thinking about what it is exactly that i'm trying to get across and i think it turns out well!!

What are things you wish you could practice more? on one hand i wanna get better at writing angst on the other hand i dislike writing angst. do you see my issue

One way you've improved your writing since you began? characterization!! i think i've gotten better at writing characters that are all Different and bring different things to the table!!! i used to project a lot more and it would compromise the characterization because the character was like 70% me and 30% them? not to say that projection is bad but if you do it too much it just,, doesn't read like the character and from a reader's standpoint the narrative can become less compelling

One aspect of writing you're still working on? writing action!!! i. literally hate writing it but i write for a fandom about superheroes so. Unfortunately i gotta learn.

A piece of writing advice you've learned while writing saw this on another tumblr post but they said sometimes if you're struggling with a scene, the problem is five lines back. i've found that to be true!!!! sometimes u gotta delete a chunk and start a little ways back!! i did this with too busy being yours because i was stuck for Weeks and i deleted like 25% of what i had but it helped me actually finish it :D

A bit of writing advice you can't stand when people shit on show don't tell for being overrated lmao bc when u read their writing you can Tell

Something you wish you knew when you first started writing? ,,,,honestly i kind of wish i could know some of the stuff that i used to when i first started writing?? technically i'm better now but creatively i was must better when i wasn't stressing about whether anyone would like what i was writing. so i guess i wish i knew that i should keep that confidence? i kinda wish that i wasn't as insecure about other people's writing styles because i never used to be!!

Something you've learned in life that you apply in writing there's no point in feeling inferior?? writing one genre isn't better than the other. being in one fandom isn't better than being in another. the kind of language you use or the length of your paragraphs- none of that stuff like. matters. what matters is that you're having fun and happy with what you're creating!!!! enjoy other peoples writing but don't let it make you feel worse about yours :D

[strangetownsayit]

ok so um.......... .. . . ..

 i had a really bad time, went crazy and deleted all my maurice fics. Yes I have them in my notes and if someone wants them, I can send them to them, but still. i no longer feel confident about You Don’t Own Me and To a Happier Year.

but i feel bad and guilty bc then i remembered someone who left a very nice comment in my fic. maybe ill rewrite everything and publish it again, but not today and certainly not tomorrow. so ill explain my outline for the two fanfics cus i already had a ending in mind

before anything-- do i plan to write more maurice fanfic? the answer is yes. i hyperfixate very hard on maurice so ill never stop, but ill try not to make it public till i trust my bilingual capacities

 so, You Don’t Own Me

Percival Darsey is a young man who spend time in Penderleigh’s after having an encounter with Anne in the village next to Penge. He becomes Clive’s pupil bc of Anne’s desire, and so Percival bounces between them (wanting clive’s attention, then wanting anne’s)

Clive doesn’t really care about Percy’s attraction to Anne, bc he was sure it was silly love-at-first sight stuff. It was supposed to be explained later that Percy was really naive when it came to love. I actually had some dialogue written in my phone’s notes app to show how percy views were when it came to love and how easy it was for him to fall in love:

“I can’t do nothing but leave it to take me, Mr. Durham”, said Percy gently, with his back resting against the black slate of the roof; the light rays of sun --whose bright, blinding face was hiding behind clouds-- were worth coming the next day. “When someone smiles back at me, when someone touches my shoulder to get me out of the way, when they wish me a good day; I fall in love too easily, with many people. Approximately five times a day.”

“Many people?”, Clive laughed. “You mean, many women.”

Percival contemplated the sky a while.

“No,” he finally said, “many people.”

 Percival was supposed to be Clive’s opposite: excited about loving and be loved in return, excited to be discovered and being so happy with himself, he can barely hide it.

But when Percival got infatuated with a man, an acquaintance of Clive, Clive started to snap, to wander, to ask questions he could’ve never asked before. But Percival had nothing to hide anyways, and this would make Clive distant

Resume: with time Percival would’ve become closer and closer to anne’s circle, and thus he would’ve grown tired and exhausted. Bc Percival is autistic, and he has very little spoons (a metaphor about being autistic), meeting new people every day, being dragged to social compromises and being treated as some sort of servant that these rich ppl needed for entertainment, he would’ve suffered a meltdown and avoid Pendersleigh for a while

But bc Percy is not dumb, he would’ve returned bc he needs to eat, and bc of his neurodivergence he couldn’t keep jobs that were mostly aimed to neurotypicals. So when he came back, he decided to stay in Clive’s side. He found comfort in his cases cus all he needed to do was ignore Clive and sleep and little lol. And so this was supposed to be the first step to develop their relationship: Clive being interested in percy now that he has discover Percy likes men as well, Percival feeling drawn to Clive. They get to know each other and eventually, they fall in love.

But ofc everytime Clive perceives a hint of flirt, he panics and back off, bc hes an I—HSHFS- NOO- WAIT—LMAO DLFAOF—IM SO SHY--- gay, and Percy is a ;)) bisexual, so they keep flirting a good part of my outline.

But then BOOm I planned Mrs Hall to visit clive. And so clive wouldve remembered everything with Maurice, feel bad, and reject percival once for all. Percival cries a lot and anne thinks he is sick bc he has an uncontrollable sobbing, but then he escapes again

Clive has some awful months and Anne notices. She knows, but at the same time, she doesn’t: she knows Percy and Clive had a cute dynamic and relationship, she knows they loved each other, but she cant notice the homoerotism they had, and so she goes on looking for percival

I shpuld add that even tho I didn’t outlined this, there was a subplot exploring Anne’s bisexuality. I was working on how to do it when I deleted the fanfic

She finds Percival and discovers that he lied this whole time: his real name is Daniel Darcy, son of Mrs. Darcy, a middle-class woman who fell in disgrace after her husband escaped with his lover. It is revealed that Percival has many brothers and is the youngest of all, being 22. It is also revealed that he have been running away from home and coming back since he was twelve. His mother openly talks shit about Percy and it is hinted that Percy is a  Bastard, a product of a love affair.

There was a silly joke I had in my notes app:

“Many years ago, Mr. Darcy ran away from us, in the gay nineties”, he spat, struggling with laughing and bitterness. “Gay, my mother hates the word, just like she hates me and everything that is stunning.”

Then Anne wouldve told Percival about Clive but he wouldve stop her and ask her to go. But he wouldve return to penge a few weeks later cus he a dumbass who doesn’t value himself. Then he and clive wouldve kissed in the rain while he sees percy in the darkness of the night at penge’s garden, but then percy wouldve been like “lol bye” bc he just wanted to let clive know that he loved him too and that he would be back in the morning.

Fluffy ffluffy fluffy flufly

Then BOOM Maurice makes an appearance, telling clive everything about what happened with kitty, then asking for money lmao so he and alec can look for another place, and he tells clive that didn’t anywhere else to go. At fisrt Clive says no but then percy manages to persuade him into helping Maurice, who is surprised to see Clive with a man. Clive and Maurice have a nice chat, clive apologizes and cries and then the next day Clives calls Risley and cries too and say something like sorry I wasn’t there for you yoy didn’t deserved to go through that and it was so unfair, and then he -in  a very subtle way- apologizes to anne. And thus Clive is clean of guilt

But then Clive and Percival have a fight bc he wants to participate in Clive’s life but Clive refuses. Angsty angsty angsty. Percival reveals he was promised by his mother his part of the heritage if he married and became a proper gentleman. He tells clive he will accept his mother offer if clive keeps being ashamed of him

Clive wants to be with percival but he sees himself in another drama, so he does what is easier: letting Percival go.

But percival didn’t expected that shit to happen ?? as extra as he is, he thought clive wouldve comfort him and kiss him. .. .. . . .

Bc he doenst know anywhere else to go, and doesn’t want to get married and hates his mom and he would hate it if he became clive, he goes with Maurice and Alec CUS HE WANTS THEM TO BE HIS DADS ¿’¿’’93 me too bitch get in the line

So advices advices advices. Percival has a clearer mind and he runs his way up to penge

So kisses kisses kisses, he and Clive are in love nd stuff. JUMP TIME, Maurice and alec live in France and they are Percy’s and Clive’s neighbors. Anne is looking for adventures and kisses many women and many men. Everyone is happy YAY I can cope

TO A HAPPIER YEAR

Ok I am a little tired I want to sleep jdswiow io

So Clive’s durham first love. Fluffly fluffly fflufy

It cover events during the movie (clive being tired of bullshit after Christmas vacs).

Bc clive is an asshole, he ignores Quinn (his first love and stuff]) and quinn wants to know why he is being pushed aside and why is clive so distant. But then he discovers it and wish clive luck

JUMP TIME they are both in their 36 and clive is miserable during a trip in Italy. They both meet during said trip, reconnect romantically,  and HAPPY YEAR YES EVERYTHING IS HAPPIER THE YEARS HAPPY ENDING WHATEVer. I swear it is cuter Im just very sleepy now lol

[philip-seville-archive]

BDRP 2021 Resolutions

Write your RPer Resolutions for 2018! (What are some goals for yourself as a writer? Improve descriptions? Plot with more members? Etc.)

A silly goal but I would like another female character lol

More one-shots! I always have these ideas for them but because I let them grow too large in my brain or I feel like I need to turn them into a proper ‘short story’ I intimidate myself out of doing them and then let the opportunity to slide. So this year I hope to fix that and once again be more chillax with myself. (Though here is a shoutout to me bc I published some one-shots last year I was happy about, like Nemo’s “Breath,” Berlioz’s parentage reveal, and my John Darling stuff!) 

Do One Task Every Month. Another small but very doable goal 

Learn how to say no: ahaha this seems a weird thing to put here but its actually about events and i feel this is a safe space to admit that i love love events but they like, truly take a toll on my arthritic hands which means i really can only do two characters probably. But i feel bad only rping with just two ppl etc esp if other people hit me up, or if there are other people i WANT to rp with, so i end up not doing it at all because i get overwhelmed and feel like no one will believe me about my shitty hands (which is of course silly but man chronic illness anxiety am i right). Sooooo i need to find a better way to enjoy events and manage my own health! 

Finish some of the fairy lore stuff i got in the works lol 

Write at least one resolution, or “goal,” that you have as an RPer for your character(s)

These vaguely feel like spoilers but oh well i love spoilers 

Berlioz: Find His Daddy. Also groove room stuff. 

Hades: Pokevolve his emotional intelligence! Also would like to do more Board things with him actually, esp bc he will have to run for office so: focus on his political aspirations

Merida: Integrate into society! She is doing it more but I really hope her friendships with the knights will let her fully embrace herself again. ALSO ALSO alpha Merida! 

Charlie: Greater control over his magic and more confidence in himself. We gettin there bb

Ashleigh: Entangle her further with the knights/Henry and eventually reveal she’s a mara bc i would like that for Henry it will be horrifying for him

Nemo: embrace dance as a career option and therefore overcome the systematic factors that have convinced u that u cant! YOU CAN 

Jun: Date. (Horrifying for him. Not his goal.) Also just more hijinks, I love love hijinks, would love business-related hijinks. 

Olaf: Get more involved on campus!! More uni plots for him would be great esp when it comes to figuring out if he’ll stay on campus after this year (and also like how this affects his friendship with Sindri) 

Atta: QUEEN STUFF. This is first on my list so we’re gonna make you happen. Blow up Atta’s life, really make her deal with that imposter syndrome. Love it. 

Pip: Put the mortifying fear of being known into Pip. aka open up about his mum a bit with like, someone. Or just admit that the people he says are his enemies are actually his friends.

Write at least one resolution IN CHARACTER for your characters. What do THEY want to accomplish or change in the New Year?

Note that I love seeing which characters echo my goals and which ones don’t at all. It’s just fun and neat. Probably says something about each one’s emotional self-awareness. (Mostly pointing out how Hades is extremely self-aware i love that for him) 

TW: weight 

Berlioz: Literally nothing. Sorry he just thinks resolutions are stupid and life is pointless (he is in a state). 

Hades: Prepare for his election next year, raise his children well, help Belle in her recovery 

Merida: Assist King Arthur. Become a good alpha to Alice specifically (not u lou i mean like she is but she’s like that bitch doesnt need me) 

Charlie: Reup his certs! Figure out a specialty! 

Ashleigh: Revenge against Romeo, revenge against John Darling + company for destroying her tree 

Nemo: Get an apprenticeship this year. Work on Hangul. Lose seven stone. Work on wing sprints. Be better son. Be more responsible and help Appa. Get job again? ...Quit dance? 

Jun: something nerdy about increasing the overall revenue or something of the market i dont know im not a business person. Also something nerdy about Animal Crossing, maybe he wants to add a new room to his house. Jun’s goals have nothing to do with himself personally. 

Olaf: Get involved in uni! Learn more about his talent and practice it intentionally, including how to control it better so he is not overwhelmed in situations like the nightmare fog. 

Atta: Help Dot with her apprenticeship!! Learn more stuff about clumsy culture. Pass her petition about water fountains. 

Pip: Grow SSIC followers by 100+; grow Spill engagement by 20%; arrange guest speakers for SSIC and maybe help SSIC write a petition together?; get a solo for the spring concert; get a lead role in the summer musical; read 50 books in a year; drink less coffee (he will fail this last one) 

List one or more characters you have never interacted with that you would like to do so

Ferb. Technically I did interact with him but it was just ONE gif chat when he first got here and I would like to do more!! I think he’s great, i love all of Sid’s characters! 

Bianca: HOW HAVE I NOT RPED WITH BIANCA! I don’t know but I want to. Maybe Merida and Bianca would be interesting bc of RAS things! (Also I have interacted with Kristoff but I want to do stuff with Kristoff and trolls please message me bee if u want to do troll things...i love. them.) 

Rita: In a similar vein, I think Rita/Ber or Rita/Pip might be interesting. Pip totally looks up to Rita and sees her as a role model so i dunno that could be cool. 

Rose: Whitman: Kit, we need to have Rose and Merida interact. Fighty ladies. I am sure with the knights this can happen! 

Pacifica: Hello Lins, Pacifica and Ashleigh should be Best Friends Of Course. I could also maybe see Pacifica and Jun if Pacifica wants to do some kind of business philanthropy for her image etc. Or Olaf and Pacifica! Sounds like a wild time, that. 

Tod: Olaf/Tod would probably be very fun, I love Pixie friendships! Also maybe Ber bc i think Ber knows Tod from way back when maybe? 

Edward: Z PLEASE. PLEASE. Pip and Edward bc they are from the same movie and no other reason!! But I will also throw literally anyone at him. 

Plotting Exercise! Pick one of the resolutions/goals in #2 and plan a rough guideline to how you could accomplish it. Here’s an example.

ATTA’S ROYAL TALENT AWAKENS 

Attendy: Atta goes ice skating with Wendy and has to stop bc of a headache and faints on the ice!!! 

@: Directly after attendy, Dot panics about Atta’s health and wants her to come clean. They fight! 

Full Moon Event: Atta faints again in front of everyone. MARLIN helps heal her and Dot/Sled confesses to Queen Clarion what’s going on. 

Clarion/Atta: Oh Honey You Got A Big Storm Coming