#and by fun i mean tedious as all hell until they become teenagers and then the real fun starts

[blissfali]

girl help i stayed up playing with my powerpuff girl sims and i have an oral presentation to give about Silent Spring by Rachel Carson

[whack-ed]

It’s a lie (draco malfoy x reader)

Synopsis: Y/N had a bad reputation, everyone knew that. And apparently, Draco didn't care about it, he even managed to get some fun. Little did he know how it was going to end.

Warnings: Suggestive talks; kissing; teasing; sex tension; fluffy.

Reader: Female

Word count: 1.8k

A/N: Well, a fic based on “it’s a lie - the vamps ft. tini” cause i’m a cureless cliche teenager, thank you.

Just to remember: Y/N= Your Name; Y/L/N= Your Last Name; Y/H/C= Your Hair Color; Y/E/C= Your Eyes Color; Y/H= Your House; italic it’s for past & bold it’s for the fic theme.

Everyone knew Y/N's reputation. Everyone knew that she was not good company for any boy. None of the boys who got involved with her kept their heart intact. The list was varied, from Ernest McMillan to Michael Corner, Dean Thomas was unable to escape and some would say that she was the only one who had managed to win Blaise Zabini. And none of them had achieved the opposite effect, Y/N always seemed a step ahead of any of them. Well, until now.

At the beginning of his sixth year at Hogwarts, Draco had a million things on his mind. His father had made his life hell for the past few months, all he felt was anger. A lot of anger. He did not knew where to discount all these accumulated feelings.

"Draco, you're floating again" Pansy's voice woke the boy from his daydreams. The selection ceremony was over, but Draco hadn't paid any attention.

"Whatever" He replied with little concern.

"You are unbearable, you know? Since we got on the train you're like this. What do you have?" Blaise asked without patience to the blonde beside him.

"Why don't you mind your own business, Zabini?" Draco replied rudely.

"For merlin's sake you really need a girl, this can only be sexual stress" Blaise replied short and dry. Pansy did not like the answer.

Draco ignored the comment. Or at least he thought he had ignored it. Blaise's words, no matter how insignificant they were, stayed with Draco for the rest of the day. Classes were going on and the boy started paying attention to the girls who passed by the corridors. He never worried too much about girls, but maybe this was the right time to do that, it was a good distraction from the living hell at home. He had never noticed how many beautiful girls there were at school. Until then he did only notice Pansy, but he found she slightly irritating to try anything.

During the last class of the day, with Professor Flitwick, they shared class with Y/H. The class itself was particularly tedious, so once again Draco started to notice the female faces of the place where he was. It didn't even last 3 minutes, one face in particular caught his eye. Y/N Y/L/N. Ah that name he knew well. Like everyone at Hogwarts, Draco knew the girl's reputation. He knew that with Blaise's thing it was a lie, because well, he was close enough to know that Blaise didn't like what Y/N had to offer, if you know what I mean. And without noticing he got lost in the girl's face, he watched every detail closely, he had never seen a girl as beautiful as she was.

"Of all the girls at Hogwarts, you are interested in Y/N?" Blaise asked raising an eyebrow "Do you have a death wish or something?"

"I know who Y/N is" Draco replied without taking his eyes off the girl.

"If you knew, you would have this idea out of your head right now, Draco" Blaise said turning his attention to the parchment to write down what the professor was saying.

"Is that kind of a challenge?" Draco said with his usual tone of superiority.

"OK, now you're sounding like yourself. But I still think it's stupid, she will break you into pieces, Draco."

"Not if I prepare myself. And Blaise, no one break me into pieces."

And so it was. Since that day whenever Draco wanted to distract himself from something related to "family matters" he stared at the beautiful Y/E/C eyes of a certain Y/H. The first contact he had made with her was at dinner, the same day he had challenged Blaise. He saw the girl enter the main hall with her friends and went to her with the best smile he could.

"Hey, Y/N, right?"

"Hummm" The girl looked him up and down "Not for you" And went to sit with her friends.

Draco didn't understand anything. Was she playing hard? Or was she just not interested? No. It couldn't be. All the girls at Hogwarts were at least a little bit curious about what it was like to be with Draco Malfoy. Y/N couldn't be different, could she?

Now more than ever Draco was focused on getting Y/N interested in him. It was no longer just a challenge between two friends. Now it was a matter of honor.

So whenever he could, Draco used his best charm on Y/N.

"Leave it, I'll pay for you" He said in Hogsmade.

"You play really well, Y/N, it almost made me lose focus" He would say after a Quidditch game.

"You are almost an alchemist, you know?" He said in potions classes.

And Y/N couldn't deny that she was enjoying the attention. At first she was cold because she knew how Draco was not interested in any girl in school, and thought it could only be a bet between him and some classmate. But when she noticed that the flirting went on for another two weeks, for another month, she thought that no one could go that far with a bet. She knew he was an idiot with most people, but there was no denying it, he was the most beautiful boy of his year. Sometimes the girl thought he could be asexual, and how wrong she was.

Despite wanting to, Y/N was not going to give her arm to cheer. She wanted to see how far the boy was going. So she did, for a whole month, until the girl showed some interest. It was on a trip to Hogsmade that she finally gave some sign of an answer.

"I didn't know it was possible for you to get sweeter, but it looks like it is" Draco said as the girl took three boxes of chocolate frogs.

"It's to compensate" Y/N replied with a smile that Draco had never seen, he liked what was going on.

"Compensate for what?"

"Everything you steal from me, you really take away all my sweetness sometimes, you know"

Draco laughed sarcastically and looked at the girl with a malicious smile.

"Y/N, saying you don't want me, it's a lie, and you know it" He said approaching the girl.

Y/N now could see that Draco had a little blue in his gray eyes, he was so close. It had a very pleasant smell, a woody smell that weirdly reminded her of home. He noticed how interested the girl in front of his face was.

"Saw? A huge lie" He said getting closer.

Now it was so close that Y/N could feel the boy's breath on her face. Draco ran his hand over Y/N's face and stopped on the cheek to caress it. People around could say that Y/N was hypnotized, because the girl was completely unresponsive, she didn't take her eyes off Draco's eyes for even a minute. The boy gave another laugh, patted his cheek, walked away, and winked at Y/N and left the store. There was no denying it anymore, she wanted him.

To be honest, Draco was the only boy Y/N had really wanted since her fourth year, but as all the boys always said he was not good company and he never got involved with anyone, so she never tried anything. She drowned hers desires in other lips, that's why she ended up breaking so many hearts. But when Draco finally paid attention to her, the girl was already so into the character, that she didn't miss the chance to finally play with the famous Malfoy, right on her fingers.

The next few months went on as expected, Y/N and Draco "having fun" up and down. They kept it secret for a while, so as not to attract more attention than necessary, and of course, that little by little people started to notice. Draco was great at hiding family secrets, but he wasn't very good at hiding a girl he was fulling around with. The looks between the two during meals and classes were far from discreet. The sexual tension always exposed between the two was always explicit. Sometimes a student caught them going out from a empty classroom together. And a young ravenclaw swear he saw the two of them holding hands by the lake.

With the end of the year approaching, close to October, the students' traditional secret Halloween party in the come and go room was being prepared with the smallest details by some slytherin and gryffindor students. The party had become a tradition 4 years ago, but only sixth and seventh graders could participate. As it was in the come and go room, they didn't care about the noise, just what to bring. The organizing students always took things from the kitchen, among them, a lot of firewhisky.

"Are you going to Halloween party, Y/N?" Draco asked the girl who was fixing her shirt inside a broom closet. The two of them stopped going to empty classrooms when they we’re almost caught by Professor Snape.

"Of course, the first year we can really get in, how can we miss it?" She said smiling with the shirt already in place, although some buttons were missing.

Draco was silent. He wanted to invite Y/N to go with him, but he didn't know if they were on that level or not. How he hated not being in control of things.

"Draco?" Y/N caught his attention after the boy's face became serious and closed, something that rarely happened when he was with her. "Do you want to go?"

He never was going to deny going to a party - without teachers - where Y/N was.

"Of course, I will" He replied fixing his hair.

"We need to prepare our fantasies than, you know."

"Excuse me" Draco cleared his throat "OUR fantasies?"

Y/N laughed.

"What? Shouldn't I consider that we would be going together?"

A sense of relief washed over Draco's body as soon as the girl's words left his mouth.

"I had thought of something like, Mr. and Mrs. Dracula, I always thought you were pale as a vampire" Y/N laughed and put her arms around Draco's neck.

"We are in England, Y/N, we are all pale as vampires - The boy replied placing his hands on the girl's waist. "And by the way, who said I want to go with you?" Joked, the boy.

Their faces were very close. Smiling face to face. Dangerously close.

"Draco, saying you don't want me, it’s a lie."

Draco laughed and didn't wait another minute before kissing the girl in front of him. He had managed to win over the girl that everyone thought was unconquerable. But the truth is, he was so blinded by love as she, and of course, neither of them was going to admit that anytime soon. But honestly, It didn't even need to say anything, they both knew it had gone too far, and the both couldn't be happier that they let it happen.

[writingindulgence]

Painting Nails with Gojo Satoru (x reader)

Pairings: Gojo Satoru x (unspecified-gender) reader

Genre: Good friends with some mutual pining, a bit of fluff and a bit of uncertainty, reader has their mind in the gutter for a split second 

Lmao, how long can someone write about painting nails T.T 2800+ words

When you recently mentioned that you had no free time to refresh your nails due to the influx of odd jobs here and there, you didn’t think that it would lead to your long time friend, Gojo Satoru, sneaking into your room at the Tech with a bag full of nail polish.

He was in the middle of laying them out haphazardly onto the coffee table. Colours ranging from neon bright to the darkest of shades stood before your very own eyes on full display. Their shapes were as varied as the palette. Standard round, rectangle shapes, funky stars and fragile butterflies just to name a few. 

The shock of what was transpiring had yet to register in your mind, a dumbfounded look creeping onto your face.

It wasn’t even the first time that this has occurred. Once in a while you would come back from a mission in another city, ready to fall down onto your bed in the one place that you could call home, only to have this excuse for a friend barge in on your time of relaxation. Sometimes, you didn’t inform anyone when you would be back in the hopes of being left alone but he always seemed to find out the best time to annoy you. When you were tired. 

“What the actual fuck are you doing in my room Gojo-san?”, you drop your tattered bag onto the ground before closing the door. 

The feeling of his incoming whines and guaranteed pout had become something of a sixth sense to you now. You thought that maybe he would grow out of it after his teenage years but the gods weren’t as merciful as you once believed them to be. 

“(Y/n)-channnn, why are you so mean to me? I haven’t done anything for you to call me that”, he dramatically groaned out before flopping onto your bed. 

Glancing at the table, you notice that his sudden movement knocked over some of the bottles.  

You also know what he meant by that. You only ever call him ‘Gojo-san’ when he screws up or when you are both in the presence of his students. 

As much as he likes to tease you in front of important people, you aren’t that unprofessional as to disrespect him as an educator in front of the students that he teaches. The kids already make fun of him and if you were to join in at the same time then you would begin pitying the man. 

You walk over to the sprawled lamp post of a human and indicate with your hand to scoot over before proceeding to throw yourself down beside him. 

“What is this about, Toru-kun?”, your eyes lazily scan over the nail polish. Of course you know what is going on but Gojo Satoru is a man that enjoys being humoured. 

Poor Ijichi-kun ends up as the victim of a lot of his whims when you’re away. Scratch that, even when you are around the unfortunate fellow gets bullied like a kindergartner at a playground.

“So~ I’ve noticed that your nails-,”

“I mentioned it.”

“.. have been looking rather-,”

“I mentioned it.”

“..duller than usual so-”,

“I-”, 

His body flew up from the lying position and a hand suddenly came into your view. Before you could do anything, Gojo clamped it over your mouth, an unseen eye-roll definitely going off under his blindfold. 

He wasn’t really irritated but you took it as a win for all the times he irked you in the past month.

“I NOTICED YOUR NAILS LOOKING DULLER THAN USUAL SO I WENT OUT OF MY HUMBLE WAY TO BUY THESE,” he finally lets you go after finishing what he wanted to say.

The sheets under you have become disheveled, your thrashing around to get away and shut his loud mouth in case Principal Yaga hears brought about no results. There was no rule against being in the same room, you weren’t some silly teenagers and even if you were, the Tech wasn’t that strict anyway, but the thought of his disappointing gaze burning into your soul…

Your thoughts are disrupted when Gojo throws two pillows onto the floor. Knowing that there is no escaping this, you dust down your clothes and gracefully sit down. 

Who knows? This may actually turn out to be relaxing. Even if you’re wrong then spending time with friends is precious, no matter the activity. Especially in this line of work. There is no telling when one might hear the news of their comrades’ death. 

Gojo sits on the other free pillow and smiles. “Any colour pulling you in? If not then I would love to recommend, you know, I’m sort of an expert at this.”

You laugh slightly at his confidence before agreeing to his proposal. As long as it’s not too ugly then you really don’t mind what he ends up picking. 

In fact, you trust his judgement when it comes to fashion. His casual outfits always end up taking your breath away. You’re forever glad when he forces you to go along with him to the shopping district. You know your style and what you’re comfortable with but Gojo presents you with something unique every time.

“Hmmmm...then, what about this one?”, the hand that was under his chin as he was contemplating leaves its position and he quickly picks up a (f/c) nail polish. 

The container is cute too, a glass cat face. Though how did he figure out what colour this was with that blindfold? Only Gojo knows. 

You reach out for the item but he leans back and pulls it to his chest. Your eyebrows scrunch in confusion. 

“(Y/n), (Y/n), (Y/n)...,” he creates an X with his arms before continuing, “Bzzzt! Did you really think I would be so rude as to leave you alone with that tedious job? Who do you take me for?”. 

He grasps the fabric where his heart is located and fakely sniffles. Oh, so he wants to paint them for you. Figuring out that you may as well indulge in a little care, you extend your hand for him to hold. 

Gojo twists the nail brush open and dips it into the bottle a few times. His tongue is poking out as he tests how much of the liquid is on the brush. You don’t even question how he will paint your nails without seeing properly. Understanding his infinite capabilities has become second nature to you. 

Instead, you focus on the feeling of his hand when it grasps yours. 

It’s bigger and somewhat rougher, though not uncomfortable. Really, it feels secure to have around your own.

Jerking back at your line of thinking, you can feel the heat growing on your face by the second. Calm down there, no need to get ahead of yourself. You’ve held hands many times in the city before so that you don’t get ‘lost’, how is this any different?

“Hey now!,” Gojo grips your hand more firmly than before. 

“Sorry, sorry. I had an itch,” you come up with an excuse and double down when you scratch your shoulder with a free hand. 

He doesn’t say anything in return, there are none of his usual comebacks. That’s suspicious, he always needs to have the last word in no matter what. 

Instead he applies the first stroke of nail polish on one of your nails. 

His movements are steady, no shaking, and he doesn’t miss any spots. The process is...pleasant, being attended to by another. 

He moves on to your second finger, repeating the action from the previous one, applying just as much attention. 

Now that you are sitting still, barely breathing as you look on, his hold has become almost airy. Unless you focused purely on the skin to skin contact, it was as if your hand was levitating. 

Ah, technically he could be using ‘Infinity’ and keeping your hand away but...it made you feel weirdly unhappy. Your mouth tugged down in dissatisfaction unconsciously.

At the same moment, Gojo grasped the next finger on the list, the sudden feeling coming as a surprise. You barely held in the shocked gasp, tingles travelling up your arm. 

He didn’t say anything and continued the procedure. 

You peeked at his face to see if you could read him but there was nothing at all to go off on. No smile, smirk, pout or frown. 

Sheer concentration. 

It wasn’t unwelcome, in fact it was peaceful without the usual banter. And it wasn’t unbearably serious either. If you had to put a word on it then it felt...intimate.‘Wow, what the hell? Chill, he’s only a friend and this is simple nail painting’.

The clock in your room ticked continuously until eventually your fingernails were all finished. It took extra long because Gojo insisted that the proper way to do it was to paint two layers. So in the end you had to sit through another few minutes that honestly felt like an eternity. 

You hoped that you hadn't sweated with how warm it had gotten on your end.

“Alright! It’s your turn (Y/n)-chan,” he made finger guns and pointed them at your bewildered expression. 

“It isn’t fair if only you get this spa worthy treatment, no?”.

“Satoru, I think you overestimate my ability to paint nails. Of course, I do a fantastic job on myself but I am hopeless when it comes to others,” you explain. 

You may have over exaggerated a bit but if this goes on then your thoughts will enter dangerous territory, not that they haven’t already.

Distractions aren’t helpful when you are a jujutsu sorcerer, particularly in the romantic scene. 

Have you daydreamed about such scenarios? Yes. 

Would you like to experience them? Definitely. 

However, what you want and what you can have are at odds with each other.

“Don’t be a bore, come on, come on,” he sticks out his own hand before thinking up something and reaching towards his blindfold. “Let’s make it a challenge. I had such a difficult time so you have to suffer too”. 

He frees his eyesight and stands up. You’re about to follow but he shakes his head and kneels behind you. 

The smooth fabric covers your eyes and the pressure as he tightens the blindfold rubs against the back of your head. This feels like the beginning of a dirty situation-

A resounding smack travels in the enclosed room as you slap your cheeks simultaneously. This isn’t the time nor place.

“I’m accepting my resolve,” you throw out before Gojo can ask you why you hit yourself in the face. 

You hear him shuffle back to the pillow as well as glass tapping against glass. A nail polish bottle is shoved into your unprepared self. “I’m in your hands now,” he laughs stupidly to himself at his own pun. You can’t help cracking a small smile too.

Blindly, you fiddle around in front of you, wanting to start this. Clicking your tongue, you’re about to give out but Gojo finally decides to stop being a prick and gives you his hand. His shakes from laughter make themselves known but you ignore him. 

Unscrewing the bottle cap, you get to work. 

Only, you have to feel around for his fingernail. It’s impossible to hit the target without searching around first. 

You become overwhelmingly aware of the close proximity yet again and your heart skips a beat. The fact that you can’t see anything makes it far worse as your sense of touch becomes more sensitive. Your shaking hand dabs the point where you think the nail polish goes and you begin painting. 

Gojo’s amusement must have stopped too since you don’t hear him chuckling anymore. Is he looking at you? Or is he looking at his poor skin whenever you miss the fingernail? He doesn’t have his blindfold on so his eyes have to be focused on something. 

But what?

The silence becomes unmanageable and the constant skin against skin friction twists your insides. Is it just you? Or does he also think the same way?

“You know, you have pretty eyes. If you start an Instagram page with photos of them then you’ll get a following in no time,” you offhandedly mention to start a conversation. Knowing Gojo he’ll take the compliment, tease you a bit and move on. You shift around in the pillow before progressing onto the other hand, having speedrun the first, before he starts talking.

“That’s not a bad idea. You can do the eyeshadow and we can make some money,” he hums in agreement. The sound of extra cash nearly makes you drool but then a realisation hits you, like a truck an isekai protagonist. If you were to do the eyeshadow then you will no doubt have to be very close to his face. No way.

“On second thought, I don’t think we have the time,” you laugh it off. 

His disagreement comes soon after. 

“Haaaaaaah?! Then why did you mention it?”. His muscles tense, about to pull back to cross his arms but he remembers that you’re in the middle of painting his nails. 

After that, you both fall silent again. 

In the end, you get through the last finger and close the nail polish bottle. You tried your best, having taken your time despite it making you feel a certain way whenever you had to touch him longer than is necessary. 

You get up and reach out to unhook the blindfold but larger hands stop you in your tracks from behind. They pull yours away and drop them at your sides. 

“Allow the amazing gentleman, Gojo Satoru,” he gently takes it off as you stand unmoving. 

When light from the window hits your face, you scrunch your eyelids shut, waiting to adjust to the bright atmosphere. A hand patting down your hair makes them shoot open and you turn around to complain. 

Whatever you were going to say gets caught in your throat as you look up into his light blue eyes. His expression is serene, free of any worries but his eyes seem to be trying to speak a thousand words. 

They too look composed but you get the feeling that he’s trying to communicate something to you.

Swallowing, you clench your hand (conscious of the recently dry nail polish), and place it over your chest. “Satoru..um,” you pause, not fully comprehending what you want to say, or rather, how you want to say it.

Your eyes widen when you notice his hand traveling towards yours. 

Clumsily spinning around, you head for the pillows and shake off the dust that accumulated on them. 

“Thanks for today. I’ll have a nap, since I’m still tired from the flight.” 

You show your gratitude but hide the words your heart wanted to really express. 

You don’t turn around to see his expression. The sound of his blindfold going over his eyes is what you hear first. Then, 

“Don’t worry your sleepy head over it! Sweet dreams, (Y/n)”.

The door opens and closes gently behind you. 

Once you’re sure that he is far down the hallway, you throw yourself onto your bed, put the pillow over your face and scream. Feeling a little foolish, you stop and look over your nails. 

He really did a great job.

-Next Day-

The sun is shining brightly therefore there is no better time to take a walk. Which is why you aren’t surprised when you stumble upon Sukuna’s vessel, Itadori Yuuji. 

The teenager has a tub of ice cream with him. Maybe you should get some too? Gojo is bound to have some in his mini freezer.

“Ah! Hello, (L/n)-san,” the boy waves his hand in greeting and jogs over. 

“Itadori-kun, is it alright for you to be outside like this?,” you ask with concern. 

There are only a few people that know about his current state of being alive. When you heard that he died, you came as fast as possible to comfort Gojo. 

“It’s fine! Everyone is gone and Ijichi-san is on the lookout at the front gate. He’s meant to give me a ring you see”. He looks down.

“Oh! You’ve got some nice nails there,” he points out as he takes a bite out of the dessert. “You match with Gojo-sensei,” he adds after a second.

You pause your appreciative smile at his compliment. Excuse me? 

“Excuse me? Match?,” you prod him to elaborate.

The teenager scratches his cheek. 

“Ehh, but he said the plan was to match all along. Though they don't exactly look the same”.

Your eyes tear up in embarrassment at the turn of events. You’re matching nails? You thought for definite that he would wash them off when he gets back to his room. Not only that but putting the blindfold over your eyes must have been his sly way of making sure that you don't notice they're the same colour. 

Itadori shakes his hands in front of him before bowing. “I-I’m sorry (L/n)-san! I did not mean to insult the way you painted Gojo-sensei’s nails. They are a bit tactless compared to yours but that’s okay,” he apologises profusely, mistaking the root of your shame.

‘That dumbass Gojo Satoru’

[blushing-starker]

Having a boyfriend that's a natural rule breaker becomes even more tedious because now it's two people conspiring together, itching to shatter social norms. Sure, they won't pull the fire alarm stunt to get out of a quiz (that's more Rocket and Groot's style), place mirrors on front steps to confuse Fury and nearly give the principal a heart attack (Loki with an exasperated Thor and cackling Hela) or hire a mariachi band to follow hall monitor Alexander Pierce (Steve had joined Bucky and Sam in that one); they'd never sneak into the air vents, fill them with glitter so the haughty board of directors would be covered in pink sparkles when they cranked the ac (Clint and Nat).

Ok, they did help with that last one, buying the shimmering stuff from T'Challa's sister and slipping five jars into Clint's backpack, but they didn't actually go into the vents.

But that's not the point. The point is there are limits to their rule breaking; Tony's spot on the football team and Peter's participation in the art club too important to risk on something as silly as skipping a quiz. No, they thanked their best friends, unhooked the window lock and slithered out only after finishing and handing in the quiz. They weren't amateurs.

Still, Peter knows Tony literally couldn't have chosen a worse time for their impromptu lunch date. (Luckily, he'd expected this exact situation.)

"Tony, they don't even have bad food today. We could just wait until the bell rang to meet up and eat at the bleachers. Like we always do a day before a big game."

His boyfriend swivels around, hooks nimble fingers into his belt loops to pull Peter closer, never once stumbling even while walking backwards. The grin he shows is manic, just this side of wild to let Peter know this isn't about haunting nightmares and bouts of anxiety. This is normal, too high on a feeling Tony Stark. Which means he won't head back to school unless Peter pulls out all the stops...

He's too exhausted from last night's art project to use up energy on the puppy eyes. So he sighs, tugs on the blue varsity jacket Tony loves to show off, kisses a dimple before turning this untamed creature around.

"Come on, I found a new route to that shawarma place with MJ and Ned last week." It sounds exasperated, but Tony knows Peter will do anything to keep him happy. Well. Not anything. There's only so many times they can discuss Star Wars before simply agreeing to disagree on whether Han and Luke are pan or bi.

"What, and you tell me this now?", Tony squawks indignantly from Peter's left side, freezing nose nuzzling into Peter's neck as revenge.

Like a robber caught sneaking into a vault, he raises his hands instantly before shoving Tony away.

"Hey, you were focusing on practice! If I told you, you'd bring Rhodey, he'd bring T'Challa and then Shuri would pop up and who goes where she goes? Bucky, which means Steve and Sam, who'd already be there thanks to Rhodey and of course Clint would somehow appear with Nat. We'd be together so Ned and MJ are gonna be teasing with Betty and half the guys in our grade have a crush on Nat, or MJ or Shuri or Betty or you. So what's the end result? The entire football, soccer, basketball and swim team eating shawarma a week before the games. I am not hearing Coach Coulson scold me for you guys breaking diet again. I'm already on his list, another situation like that and I'll have to run fifteen laps around the field."

"Oh come on, you can do those in your sleep." He could, but again, not the point.

"With a weighted backpack, Tony."

"Yeah, I can see why you wouldn't want that."

"Before cycling fifteen laps and then swimming fifteen laps."

"Jesus, why would he even do that?" Tony looks at him then, disgruntled at the thought of his boyfriend doing all that.

He shrugs, doesn't want to explain Peter had done it once when it all got too much and he'd needed to release the pent up energy. He hadn't noticed Coach watching him, ready to come help if he hurt himself. They'd talk afterwards, Coulson making him promise to never do that alone. Now it became a reward and a punishment. Peter won the art contest? Fifteen everything to focus his mind and not go jumping off walls in his excitement.

His students wolfing down a thousand calories before a game? Fifteen everything so Peter would at least "time it so it's not during the season, Jesus". To be fair to Peter, Tony participated in almost all the sports teams so scheduling was hard.

"Listen, just don't eat a whole animal, ok? We can split it, eat enough," he glares at Tony, pushing through even as the puppy eyes come out, "and then head to the movies. They're showing Aliens for a few days cuz of Halloween and I already texted the guys to come during lunch."

His boyfriend, smart and sharp and witty, just blinks at him. "But we have class after lunch."

"Technically, but I convinced Mr Pym to let the class out of lab so we could all hang out. It's the one class we share so now the whole group can see it together."

Tony stops, eyes wide and mouth open.

"You, what, planned this?"

"Yeah, something fun before tomorrow to take it off your mind for a while. Or, you know, not make it stand out as much. I know how focused you get, and it's really great, having that as a goal, strategizing and taking it seriously. But I also know it can be a lot, so I thought we should all hang out since each of us has something coming up and we aren't spending much time together. Which I get, responsibilities and family and school; I just missed it and I can't be the only one, right? So yeah, this was planned. Like, two weeks ago. When MJ found the new route, it was like a sign. And I really want you to relax and enjoy the whole, I have friends that care for me and a boyfriend that loves-"

He slaps a hand on his mouth, eyes impossibly wide and cheeks flaming. Tony and Peter stand immobile, the world reduced to beat up sneakers breaking the simplicity of yellow lines on black, a flickering neon sign telling them the shawarma place is open and two hearts slowly starting to beat again after that confession.

Ned would say it's romantic. MJ would bluntly remind them it's a bad idea to stand in the middle of the road even if they're saying I love you. And with good reason, since there's the telltale roar of a car bursting with teenagers, voices howling out the lyrics to an AC/DC song. And of course Peter notices the noise of rubber swerving against gravel, the screeching of old brakes and a few terrified shrieks harmonizing with a sharp wind blasting into him out of nowhere. Before he can react, Tony is there, wrapping his arms around Peter and shoving them both into the little patch of grass that grows from a crack in dirty pavement.

There's a moment where his whole world flips, tumbles until he screws his eyes shut and prepare himself for whatever the fuck caused that noise. But nothing comes. Only a sigh blowing a stray curl away from his forehead. But a sigh? Why would?

Tony.

He gasps, jolts upright and apologizes when that just serves to jostle his boyfriend further into the ground. His boyfriend who'd flip them so Peter wouldn't be hurt. Tony is peering at him through half shut eyes, discomfort clear on the grimace he tried to transform into a sheepish grin.

"So, you love me, huh?"

It's the stupidest thing Tony Stark has ever said.

"What the fuck were you thinking? You could have gotten hurt, you could have shattered a wrist, dislocated a shoulder, torn an ACL, bent a leg-"

"This is not what I expected. Also it was a three foot leap forward on grass, I'm fine, Peter."

"Or bashed your head, or busted an arm and then what would you do for the game tomorrow? Who the hell does that?"

"The guy you love, apparently."

"That's not the point, Tony, that's unimportant because you nearly got hurt. Christ, Coulson will slaughter me if there's a scratch on you, and then your mom would be sad and I'd be sad because, what would I do without you? And don't you ever do that again, I can't take it. I am not losing you, Tony. God, why would you do that, risk so much on-"

"On you? Babe, I'd do it again. Ok, not the right thing to say based on the whole face thing you got going on right now. But just hear me out. Don't, stop hitting me, ow, why are you hitting, how are you this strong, Jesus. Ow, stop it. Peter, for fuck's sakes, I love you, you animal. Now please let go of the jacket, it'll get wrinkles."

His hands unclasp the soft cotton, Tony falling back with a groan and Peter's unhinged jaw snapping shut after fifteen seconds of letting the flies in.

It's a wonderful thing, hearing the guy he's loved for so long say it back, say he loves Peter.

It's also fucking stupid since there's even more reason to not do stunts like that.

"You're an idiot. I'm in love with a guy that has one shared brain cell with Steve. You could have been hurt, Tony. And what would that have done, huh?"

His boyfriend sighs yet again, wraps an arm around Peter to push them from the ground and heads to the car where their friends are gawking. He waves them off, offers a "Yeah, I know I'm amazing, no, I didn't break anything, T'challa, yes, I can play, Jesus, Rogers, I can read you like a book. I appreciate the worry, Bruce; Nat, thanks for calming him down. Rhodes, excellent driving. No need to hog the seats, Sam, we need to settle in. Peter, you can keep cursing me out if you, yeah, see how it's nice being fun size when you fit in my lap in a car full of people. What, I'm not walking after that, I don't care if it's til we reach the parking. Let's go, Rhodes. Pepper, I'm fine. "

Clint offers a high five. Tony responds and that's that. Out of sight, Ned gives him a fist bump and MJ keeps on reading her book. It could just be his imagination, but Tony's sure she's smiling, approval clear on her face. He preens, glad to have her blessing, and settles his head on Peter's fluffy hair.

-----

When they're all laughing in a booth, smashed together and picking food off of everyone's plate, Peter nuzzles the crook of his neck, holds his hand and squeezes it. Tony smiles, lights up and shoves at Sam's face when the trio of best friends tease him for puffing his chest out when his boyfriend ever so softly says, "I love you."

"I love you, too." The table whoops and calls for another round of food and Coca-Cola, their family grinning at them and fondly teasing the new couple. Tony grins back, high on this feeling of warmth and happiness and safety and love.

And then Peter presses ice cold lips onto his neck and he lets out a shout, pain coursing through him when a knee slams into the table. His eyes water and through the haze of agony he sees their friends exchanging cash, some grumbling and others smirking. Rhodey and MJ, he notes, are the ones that win the most. They high five before pocketing the cash and ordering dessert.

Peter kisses his cheek, smile innocent and eyes wicked. It's his own fault Tony snatches an ice cube and slips it below his Nirvana shirt. He only has five seconds to lord his victory over Peter before there's ice cream being smeared on his cheek. They battle then, accidentally sending food into Wanda's lap, Clint's hair and Bucky's face.

In less than a minute they are all covered in shawarma and participating in the fight. Peter shrieks when Tony pulls him into his lap, gets chicken on the varsity jacket and tries to wriggle away. But Tony kisses him, tastes ice cream and joy, thanks whoever decided to give him a break and find this incredible person dozing on the roof of the school with Ned and MJ one spring afternoon. Peter kisses back and, at the same time, they say, confidently, honestly,

"I love you."

This is dedicated to @drarryismyshit07

[seriouslyhooked]

Dear No One (Part 2/3)

Short CS holiday story, broken into three parts, where Emma is unlucky in love and decides that for her Christmas wish she’d like to find the right person for her. In an attempt to write what she wants into existence, Emma writes a letter to the man she wants to find someday and then shenanigans ensue. Rated T/M (basically I haven’t decided yet how smutty it’s getting) and based off of the song ‘Dear No One’ by Tori Kelly. Available on FF here and AO3 here.

A/N: Hey everyone! Want to start by saying thanks to all of you for the support and the kind reviews and comments on this story. It’s been so nice to see you all enjoy it so much, and it’s made writing these next few chapters so fun. My writing schedule has been delayed because of school, however, I am happy to say that this story is getting not one, but two updates this week. Tonight we have this chapter, and Monday is part three. That was my stated conclusion point when I started writing this, but I could be convinced to write an epilogue too… anyway thanks so much for reading and I would love to hear what you all think about this update!

One of the most tedious parts of any new move was trying to find a new routine, and a new collection of favorite places. Uprooting one’s life was a difficult task and not easily done, and it was compounded for Killian Jones by the fact that his old life was in London and his new one was in the US. But after a few weeks of working at it, he finally felt like he was starting to settle.

That feeling, alas, was not thanks to the quientesciential charms of the city of Boston, or the strange but friendly neighbors that seemed to inhabit his apartment building. It wasn’t even the fact that he was once again working with his brother and best friend after years of operating from different parts of the world. No, the reason he was starting to feel like he just might belong here was rather singular, and it all hinged on the beautiful and entrancing blonde who just so happened to frequent the coffee shop closest to his new place.

The first day that he’d entered Belle’s, a neighborhood staple if his best friend Will could be could be trusted, Killian found it to be a mostly ordinary place. It was themed with books and literature and stories, and it was charming, even if the coffee was far from the best. He found it passable enough, and he had to admit he’d enjoyed the muffin far more than he normally would, but all of those little pieces would have been unremarkable until she walked in, a vision in red. Or, to be more precise, a red scarf.

That first moment, when he’d seen his mystery woman for the first time, Killian was struck by her very presence. He’d succumbed to all those clichés he used to scoff at in the movies: time standing still, his heart skipping a beat, the sunlight from outside seeming to trickle in just a bit more to cast her in its golden glow. But he didn’t give a damn about what he must seem like to others. All that mattered was that he knew all at once that he had to know her. Whoever this woman was, Killian knew she was special, and if wasn’t all thanks to the lithe beauty of her figure, or the perfectly pretty symmetry of her face. It was her eyes, big and green and sparkling with the exertion of life itself. She was radiant in every way, a siren almost, and it seemed he was just some bumbling sailor in that metaphor, for he was helpless to do anything but stop and stare at her.

After a week of said staring, which was frankly an embarrassment given that Killian had always prided himself on his charm and being able to speak to a pretty woman, Killian had planned yesterday to finally make his move. He was going to speak to this creature whose presence always lingered. She’d taken up residence in his thoughts, distracting him in ways no one else ever had, and it was time to man up and ask her out, or at the very least ask her name. But just as he had summoned up the courage to do so, all hell had broken loose. The usually busy buzz of Belle’s café had exploded with an unexpected pre-school rush, and with so many added people and such an increase of noise and sound, his window had been closed and the woman he’d been watching had run off, departing as soon as she had her coffee for whatever her day held in store.

As she was leaving, however, Killian noticed that she dropped something. Immediately he moved through the crowd to retrieve it, fending off the elbows and rushed gestures of too many teenagers to count, and when he collected the item he found it was a piece of paper, and more specifically a letter. Not wanting to pry, Killian had only glanced at the top of the page, and what he saw there had peaked his curiosity.

‘Dear No One’

It was such an unusual way to open correspondence like this, and in the face of such a greeting, Killian felt a yearning to read more. There was no science or hard fact behind it, but he could feel that this letter was written by the woman he’d been meaning to talk to. He also knew it was intimate, not through any sort of proof (nor from having read the contents of the letter) but because of the way it was written. From his fleeting glance he’d seen the penmanship displayed, the thorough, thoughtful, feminine script illustrated on the page. It was a throw back to times of old, when letter writing was what was done, and though her message seemed to have no specific recipient, Killian knew it wasn’t his to read.

Unfortunately by the time he’d gathered the paper she was gone, and though he chased her outside, the busy streets had made her lost to him. She was gone now, and his options were very few. He could, in theory, go back inside and leave this with a barista in the hopes they had something like a lost and found. He could discard it back where he’d found it and leave it to be trampled by God knew how many patrons of the café, or he could take it with him, knowing that though it would tempt him ceaselessly, he wouldn’t read it. It wouldn’t be right. No. If he were to take it he’d need to return it. That was the only thing to be done.

So here he was, a full day later and gearing up for the moment of truth. He’d been eager all morning, anxiously awaiting that sacred time of day, and finally he was off, headed from his apartment towards Belle’s with intention and purpose. It took all of thirty seconds of walking, however, before a black town car rolled up beside him, and a voice he knew all too well called out, pulling him from his mental prep for the moment ahead.

“Hey Jones, you doing all right?”

Killian looked up at his good friend and his long time second at work, Will Scarlet. He could see his friend’s cocky grin at having found Killian distracted. It was a rare occurrence, or at least it had been when they were still in London. Will had been over here longer than Killian, but it was really only a few years, and in that time nothing had changed on Killian’s end. He was focused on his career and his business, as he should be. But since moving Killian had been less than entirely fixated on work. Still, Killian didn’t like his long time friend drawing attention to that, and he sobered his features that might speak to his surprise

“I feel like I should be asking you the same thing. This is hardly on your way to the office.”

“No it’s not, but you see, I have this friend – dreadfully dull fellow – real stick in the mud. Anyway he is a mad man and claims to like walking in freezing temperatures…”

Killian mumbled that it wasn’t that bad out, but truth be told it was rather brisk. Okay it was likely certifiably frigid but he hadn’t really noticed it until now. Before he could say that, Will pressed on.

“But see the problem is he’s also my boss. So I’ve got to look out for him not just for the sake of friendship but for business too. And I decided, you know what? What good is the company car and the driver and the perks if said boss ends up dying of hypothermia? If he dies I’m likely out of the job, and then my perks are gone too. Which would be a real shame because I’ve truly become dependent on the pomp and the frill. So I decided, it’s really just too much to risk. Boss’ wants be damned. You’re not walking to work today.” Killian almost told him to fuck off with that idea, knowing he had every intention of getting to the bakery this morning, but quickly Will slipped in a final comment. “Don’t worry we’re still going to Belle’s. You’ve still got time to make your move.”

Hearing Will mention a private intention of his, Killian’s spine went straight, and he couldn’t help but start to ask the question. “How did you-?”

“Know you were going to Belle’s? My girl is the owner, mate. You really think she hasn’t mentioned it to me?”

“Oh,” Killian said, taken aback by the revelation. “So this Belle and your Belle…”

“One and the same. Thus the reason I said you should check it out,” Will said with a self-satisfied chuckle. “And I’d warn you to watch yourself when it comes to her, since you seem quite taken with her place, but I know your eyes haven’t been aimed at my woman. You’ve another lass in mind with all these little visits.”

Will’s words were teasing, and he looked every bit the rascal that he’d been when they were kids at having Killian cornered like this. You’d never know by that expression that they’d all grown up. In that moment Will looked like a kid on Christmas. But Killian knew fighting this or denying the truth was useless, instead he followed his friend’s next bit of advice. “Just get in the car. Start the day off less frozen.”

Killian sighed before giving up any pretense of refusal, sliding into the vehicle next to Will who still looked all too pleased with himself. But even if Killian found his friend’s flair for the dramatic just a little bit taxing, he had to admit that if he were an outsider this might actually be funny. All things considered, Killian needed that humor and lightness in his life. Having an elder brother like Liam had always been a blessing, it meant he had a built in friend to walk through the world with, but Liam could be summed up entirely with only one word: driven. And since humor didn’t translate into better business earnings, it wasn’t usually on his radar. Still, to be fair, that overarching assessment of Liam had been shifting lately, thanks very much to Killian’s soon to be sister in law, a wonderful (and extremely patient) woman named Elsa. Killian knew it was Elsa’s input that had gotten him back here and working with his brother at all. She was a lover of family, and in the times he’d met her she was nothing but kind and generous, and luckily she brought out similar personal shades in his brother when they were together.

“So. Should I send out the save the dates now? I’m assuming with all this build up we’re gonna pop the big question today.”

Bloody hell! This was what Killian had been afraid of when getting into the car. “Watch it Will,” Killian warned as his friend only laughed, shaking his head.

“I’m sorry, mate, I couldn’t help it. You’re so easy to mess with these days. Who knew all it would take to make that impenetrable armor of yours shatter was a pretty girl?”

“I’m not talking about this with you.” Or anyone, Killian added in his mind, firm in his choice not to submit himself to the embarrassment or teasing.

“Who said anything about you talking? I’m the one with all the information. Did a little digging to supplement what I already knew about her. Just basic stuff, you know, social security number, date of birth, last known addresses. We should start with basics though. Name: E-,”

“Will, stop!” Killian yelled, and the force of his tone sounded out through the town car. It was enough for his friend to still for a moment, his eyes growing more and more curious. “Look I realize you think you’re helping me, but did it ever occur to you that investigating a woman I’ve never so much as said hello to was stepping seriously over the line?”

“Uh, no,” Will said honestly, looking down at his phone and then back to Killian. “I was thinking, ‘hey, my mate likes this girl, she’s friends with my Belle. Plus, August my P.I. friend owes me a favor, and I can help him see if she’s even worth having his knickers in a twist over in the first place.’”

“She’s worth it,” Killian ground out, ignoring mention of his ‘knickers’ which was an attempt by Will at being funny. “And I don’t need whatever you’ve got to know that. I don’t want to hear any of it, Will, and I doubt Belle will be happy to hear what you’ve done, if she is in fact her friend.”

“I was just kidding about the details, Killian. Everything I know I know from first hand experience.”

Killian stayed quiet at that, but he was sure his eyes gave away his feelings to his friend. He was glad that Will hadn’t ordered some crazy background check, but the crux of the issue wasn’t that Will knew this woman, it was that Killian wanted to know her too, and not second-hand details from Will, but first hand ones of his own.

“Ah I get it. You want to figure it all out for yourself,” Will said, the dots finally connecting and Killian gave one stiff nod and Will turned his phone off and threw it back in his pocket. “Well in that case I won’t tell you. Won’t even say her name. But I hope you’ve got a plan for today, man. Otherwise this is going to be interesting.”

There was no more time to discuss this as the car pulled up to the café in question, and Killian knew he was now a little earlier than he had been the past week. This likely meant that he had time to make the plan Will was talking about, since he definitely didn’t have one aside from approaching her today. But when he walked in the door, he was stunned to find that she was already here and looking more than a little frazzled as she spoke with the owner.

“So you’re sure, Belle? No one dropped anything off with you guys yesterday?”

Her voice might be doused in emotion, which appeared to be a mix of worry and earnestness, but it still sang out like a song to his ears. God she was amazing, and she’d just given him an in. She was obviously looking for the letter, and he had it. All her had to do was give it to her…

“No, Emma. I’m sorry, but maybe it’s a good thing? You’re so worried about this letter, but it probably got swept up and thrown out or it’s just lost in your house somewhere.”

“If I never see that letter again I’ll be all too happy,” the woman – Emma – said, stopping Killian in his tracks. She let out a sigh that seemed to be somewhat relieved before confessing more to her friend. “I can’t even tell you how mortified I’d be if someone found it. I mean what was I thinking, Belle?”

“You were thinking it’s Christmas and that there’s no better time than Christmas to want more and to believe that good things come to those who are good themselves.”

“Yeah. I thought maybe this year, but… well I guess I should have known better.”

Killian’s heart clenched at the thought, knowing that despite the fact that he would never say it out loud, he felt the same way about wanting more than his life currently held. Whatever she’d written in that note, it was starting to become clear that Emma had put her honest, vulnerable wishes onto the page. He was dying to know what those wishes might be, but in the face of her embarrassment and anxiety he was so glad he never read on. It would have ruined everything before they even had a chance to begin, and even now Killian was wondering if he should mention to her that he had the letter and that it was safe and still a secret, but more than being honest about that, Killian had a need to see that doubt that had washed over Emma disappear. He hated that she’d given up hope, and if he had his way, he would do anything in his power to see that distrust gone for good.

“Hey ladies, you gonna stand around all day and yammer on, or you gonna order your coffee and let us all get about our business?”

The harsh censure from the shorter, incredibly irritated, man in front of Killian in line was grating and rude. But the worst of it was that he was loud, loud enough to draw the attention of everyone in the place, including Emma. On a normal day, Killian knew Emma was the kind of woman who wouldn’t allow herself to feel chastised or belittled, but her worries about the letter continued to linger, and he acted on instinct, stepping in when she needed a bit of support.

“No offense, mate, but your business can’t be all that important.”

“You want to say that again to my face, pretty boy?” the man said with a sneer and Killian tried not to laugh as the sudden spark of rage this tiny man was showing. He was obviously over compensating for something, but as Killian snuck a look back at Emma, seeing her attention was fully on the exchange, he decided taking the high road might be best.

“Sure. I said your business can’t be all that important. There are two other lines open, the queue is moving same as ever, and if this was the kind of morning where you needed caffeine in thirty seconds I hardly think you’d have stopped here.”

“You don’t know me or anything about me.”

“I know enough,” Killian hedged, lowering his voice just a smidge, but bringing it to that tone that had been called intimidating a time or two before. “Causing a scene over two friends catching up who have no bearing on your day or your life speaks volumes. Trust me.”

“And what’s it got to do with you?”

“Very little. But the more you complain, the more tedious my day gets. So please, do us all a favor and pipe down.”

“You really going to let him talk like this to me, Belle?” The man said and Killian looked over to Emma’s friend who simply shrugged, even as Killian could see the light of a would-be smile in her eyes.

“What’s that old saying, Leroy? The customer is always right? Can’t seem to argue today.”

“Hey, I’m a customer!” Leroy protested and Belle shook her head.

“No, you’re a grumpy old Grinch,” Belle said nodding towards one of the other baristas who put together what must be the man’s regular order. “And tomorrow I won’t be so generous. New rule – you want coffee, you play nice. Got it?”

Leroy mumbled something that sounded less than kind hearted, but Killian knew it was still agreement, and when the man was finally out of the door the whole place seemed to lighten. People went back to their conversations, and Killian moved up in the line, ordering his own coffee and breakfast, and then looking around for Emma, only to discover she’d been waiting for him.

“Thanks for doing that. It’s only Leroy, but I just…”

“Couldn’t deal today?” Killian filled in and Emma nodded, a small smile spreading as she did.

“I’m Emma, by the way. Emma Swan.”

“Killian Jones,” he said, extending his hand as she did hers. It was a mild mannered way of greeting someone, but when their skin touched Killian felt a bolt of awareness, another sign that Emma was more than a mere woman, but someone he desired more than nearly anything else.

“You make a habit of rescuing damsels being accosted by short custodians?” Emma teased and Killian chuckled, taking a half step closer to her on instinct and tracking the way her jade colored eyes widened ever so slightly and her breathing seemed to hitch.

“I’d hardly call you a mere damsel, love.”

A moment passed between them and Killian fought the urge to pull her close and kiss her senseless. He knew she would taste of cocoa and cinnamon, her normal order every morning, but it was too damn fast and he knew it. The problem was he couldn’t seem to get any other words out to prolong this little interlude, and though Emma was seemingly caught up in the same sensual haze that he was, eventually she cleared her throat and came back down to reality.

“Right. Well, thanks again. I better be going.”

“Would you like to get a coffee?” Killian asked, and immediately when he said it he felt like a bumbling teenager. Jesus, what a terrible line, and worse it was completely ridiculous given the current situation. Still, he couldn’t regret the ill-timed move, not when Emma grinned, a look of actually tangible enjoyment coloring her face.

“Uh, we’ve already got coffee.”

“I meant tomorrow, love. I’d have asked for dinner, but you seem the kind of woman who tests the waters before taking to the sea.”

Again he was talking almost nonsense. Taking to the sea? Really? Who said that? It didn’t matter though because Emma laughed at the phrasing, and the sound was so melodic and breathtaking Killian wanted to hear it a million more times. He waited in hopeful anticipation, hoping her laughter spoke to a willingness to say yes instead of blow him off, and though it only took a few seconds for her to respond, Killian felt the anticipation of the moment weighing heavily.

“Coffee sounds good, actually. But can we maybe… not come here? I love Belle, and this place, but first dates at your friend’s bakery…” Emma trailed off, leaving her thoughts well expressed even though she didn’t speak them aloud. It would be awkward, and since Belle was dating Will, Killian had to believe she likely had that same tendency towards meddling and constantly observing. “Not that this is a date. I mean, you know, maybe it is. But you didn’t say -  I mean -,”

Unwilling to let Emma flounder in the question any longer, even though he enjoyed that she seemed to be every bit as flustered as he was, Killian moved closer, surprising them both by taking her hand in his. That instant spark was there again, and it affected him, rocking him to his core, and making his words come out with more gravel than they normally would.

“Oh it’s definitely a date, Emma. Hopefully one of many.”

“Yeah?” Emma asked, her cheeks turning a bit pink as she asked. Killian was powerless to do anything but nod, his eyes falling down to her lips before they came back to hers as she responded. “Well okay then.”

And with a few more words shared between them, as well as their numbers and details of tomorrow’s date, Killian and Emma parted ways, much to Killian’s dismay. But in the end. Killian knew a little separation would be all right. Because today had only been the start of what was to come, and tomorrow Killian knew he’d do everything he could to make Emma see what kind of magic could be between them.

Post-Note: So there we have it. A date has been arranged, the meet cute has happened, and full disclosure we’re getting a little time jump in the next chapter. But don’t worry, the Christmas feels are strong with the next one. We’ll get a little drama, and a whole lot of love. Anyway thanks so much to all of you for reading. If you’re celebrating I hope you’re having a lovely, restful Christmas season. See you all next time!

[keishajay]

I meant for this whole review to go in one post, but damn, I had a lot of complaints, way more than I thought once I started writing them down.  Some are nitpicky; most are related to characters and writing choices.  For the fans of this series, I did enjoy this series for what it is, but I’ll never defend it as great literature.  It’s Sharknado levels of fun, and I live for stupid shit like that.  For the haters, enjoy.  Oh, and spoilers ahead.

Now, on to the cons, and hoo boy, are there a lot of them.  First, I was shocked to see this was labeled book 7 and not 6.  I had no interest in reading Tower of Dawn, as it was marketed as a side story novella.  Kingdom of Ash expects you to have read it and spends little to no time explaining who all these new characters are.  It’s not confusing, just annoying for those of us not invested in Chaol’s story enough to read the novella.  If you like Chaol, more power to you.  I just didn’t care enough about what was a sure outcome to waste my time reading a novella about him and only him.  Nesryn goes with him as well, but she was barely a character in the fifth (fourth? I don’t know anymore) book, more a cool background piece than a real person.  That’s not nearly enough for me to pick up an entire book.

Maas brings in four new “personalities” from Tower of Dawn that really just take up space and fawn over Aelin, just like everyone else.  Hasar is just a crabbier version of Aelin; Sartaq loves Nesryn and that’s it; Yrene is Chaol’s wife who’s a healer and that’s it; and Borte likes arguing with her fiance.  They might be more interesting in ToD, but here, they just read like cardboard cutouts.  They’re unnecessary and boring.

And speaking of unnecessary, there are WAY too many POV characters in these books.  What started with a handful of mostly essential characters has now become a library’s worth of them.  Even Lysandra’s ward, Evangeline, gets a couple POV bits to herself. Why?  They added nothing to the story aside from remind us that she was there and still alive.  More POVs should only ever be added to further the story or themes.  I kid you not, Elide and Lorchan are together for 90% of the last two books, and for some reason, they both have POV chapters.  Elide was already established and should’ve been the only one necessary, but you know, Lorchan’s hot so we should hear him angst too.  And that is all he does, by the way, angsts over Elide.  Hell, by the end, I was a little surprised Abraxos didn’t have his own POV chapter.

Maas also adds nonsensical things in to ramp up the drama.  The worst offender is the character Darrow.  He and TWO other old men boss Aedion around throughout this entire book, because... reasons, I guess.  They don’t recognize Aelin as queen, fine.  But they’re three old dudes against Aedion, who literally commands their entire army and the fire-bringer all the people in their whole country rally to.  If anyone can give me a logical reason why Aedion didn’t just ignore every order they attempted to give him, I’m all ears.  Instead, he tiptoes around them constantly and outright steals his own army from under their noses to do what he wants anyway.  Why?  They all know damn well Aelin is the rightful queen and they wouldn’t even have an army without her and Aedion.  She could crush them under her thumb, and they all know that too.  Hell, Aedion’s treason would even be forgiven in moments when she took her throne back from... no one.  Darrow isn’t even trying to be king of Terrasen.  He just doesn’t like the idea of this bratty teenager being his queen, and who can blame him?  Yeah, I know she wants her country to be different, but she can’t change anything from the sidelines when the old rules are the only things keeping those men in power over her.  There is no good reason for Aedion to obey any of their orders.  They can do nothing to stop him, and they all know it.  They are literally only there so Aedion has someone besides Lysandra to be pissed off at.

Speaking of Aedion being pissed off at Lysandra.  For the haters out there, yes, he has every right to be mad at her.  She may not have been the one to come up with this insanity, sure, but she knew Aelin suspected it might be necessary.  Telling the one person who foams at the mouth anytime someone gets within spitting distance of his cousin that maybe something terrible could happen to her, making this plan necessary, should be at the top of your to-do list.  She knew damn well what she was doing and how he would react the entire time Aelin was teaching her to play pretend.  He should be angry with her for not telling him what was going through Aelin’s head, not for following the orders of their queen.  Yes, him throwing he naked out in the snow was a major dick move, and I’m glad that she didn’t let him forget it.  What I don’t condone is his reaction to seeing Aelin again.  He just hugs her like nothing ever happened.  He’s an asshole to Lysandra for months, but he just forgives Aelin for everything as soon as he sees her.  I’m sorry but no.  I would’ve forgiven the entire conflict between him and Lysandra being tedious if he had just punched her in the face before he hugged her.  God knows she deserves it for all the shit she’s pulled over the course of six books.

So, I hate Aelin Galathynius.  Like straight up hate her.  She went from being a brat in the first few books to being the worst case of Mary Sueitis I have ever seen outside of self-insert fanfiction.  First, she’s a secret princess, a “twist” anyone with a brain could see coming.  She’s also somehow the best at everything she does, even though she shows no evidence of any of it.  How does the country’s best assassin get caught?  On top of that, how does anyone even know who the country’s best assassin is?  Shouldn’t hiding your identity be rule number one in the assassin handbook?  This shit-licker could’ve been any happy-ass teenager with a knife pretending to be this famous assassin when they caught her.  How would they know?  Answer, they shouldn’t have any idea (that would’ve also made for a much more interesting story).  So, not only is she the best at everything she tries for reasons, she’s also the only one in the whole damn world with fire magic, the only thing that can hurt the demons for a majority of the series.  And she doesn’t just have regular old everyday fire magic.  No, she has fire to rival fifteen suns going supernova at the same time.  She’s also the prettiest and smartest and nicest and snarkiest and funniest girl in the world.  She outsmarts someone thousands of years old who could’ve snapped her neck or dropped her in to a literal Hell with a flick of her wrist.  But no, Princess Mary Sue wants her new boytoy free, so the villainess has to get tricked into letting him go.  Now, let’s not forget she’s also the Chosen One who deus ex machinas her way out of sacrificing herself because no one can do anything without her there to save the day.  Seriously, no one ever wins anything unless she’s there.  It happens more than once in this book.  Her boytoy and company show up to rescue her from aforementioned villainess just as she’s breaking herself out, and they can’t get her chains off until she somehow shows them how to unlock them.  She then proceeds to get them out of the country through her magic of summoning deus ex machinas whenever she needs one, and they arrive just in time to rescue Chaol and Nesryn from certain doom.  She stops a cascading river with fire because science, and when all hope is lost back home, she shows up on a magical white deer with the Rohir- oops, I mean her army.  She also somehow holds off two of the most powerful creatures in the world with her assassin skills and barely any magic, because... villains have to lose, I guess.  You know what Aelin loses by the end of the book?  Her humanity, which she suddenly cares about ten pages before it’s gone.  Aedion lost his father and at least half an army at his command.  Manon lost the only people she really cared about in the whole world, and she could do nothing but watch them sacrifice themselves.  And Aelin lost her humanity when she’s already been living as a fae since book 3.  Oh God, how will she ever survive such a loss?  She is actually the worst.

These books, this one in particular, are clearly written with a younger audience in mind (much younger than me at least, and I’m 30), and I strongly believe the target audience is girls.  There is so much description of how beautiful the men in this series are that it almost borders on obscene.  I do appreciate having a clear picture of what characters look like, but I do not need to know about all the rippling muscles and long fingers that all the men in this series seem to have.  Even bookworm Dorian is described as being oh-so-sexy even though he doesn’t appear to have ever handled a weapon in his life.  There is a lot of pandering to the female audience, especially with the sex scenes.  In a YA novel, these are pretty inappropriate.  She started with sex scenes being a fade-to-black kind of event, and now, almost every single one is described in disgusting detail.  I like romance as much as the next girl, but if I wanted soft-core porn, I’d read romance novels.  To top that shift off, she still insists on using “rutting” as a substitute for “fucking,” and I think that’s what bothers me the most about the whole change here.  They are completely interchangeable in every context, to the point where I just read “rutting” as “fucking” every single time.  This isn’t Brandon Sanderson’s silly but story-appropriate swearing.  It’s just lazy writing.  And detailed descriptions of sex are okay, but swearing?  Someone call Takamata.  We need to start the Inquisition. (History of the World reference for anyone confused.)

This story ends exactly as you should expect it to, with a happily ever after.  None of the main characters die, and those with names go out as sacrifices, which is honestly consistent with the rest of the deaths in this series.  The deaths we do get are mostly to make the main characters feel bad for no real reason.  Aedion even flat-out states that Gavriel could’ve stayed inside the walls, and there is no argument, author or characters, as to why he had to go outside.  At least the Thirteen’s sacrifice makes more sense.  It was still pretty dumb to have them go out at all, but I don’t know if I could come up with a better way to destroy those witch towers.  What they did was noble and understandable in context, though there were probably any number of ways it could’ve been avoided.  I’ve seen Desolation of Smaug.  Just drop a dragon/whale/elephant-Lysandra on top of the tower before they even get it fixed up to move again.

One last complaint that I have regarding the ending is largely the villains.  There are three of them, and all three kind of go out like bitches.  Erawan, the dickhead pulling the strings since book 1, gets tricked and healed to death.  There are a lot of millennia-old creatures getting tricked into doing stupid things in these books.  Manon’s grandmother (who never gets a name by the way) gets blown up by Asterin.  Honestly, hers was probably the most satisfying end of the three because Asterin got the vengeance she deserved for her hunter and child.  Maeve somehow became the biggest threat halfway through the series, and she meets her end in the most extravagant fashion, impaled by Fenrys and then decapitated by Aelin and burned to ash.  What irritates me most about Maeve is she could’ve been great.  If anyone has read the manga, Magi, you know what I’m talking about.  Maeve is discount Gyokuen with half the threat and less than a quarter the sense.  Where Gyokuen is highly capable, both as a fighter and a politician, Maeve is kind of a pushover who gets tricked by our “heroes” numerous times.  She’s shown preparing for all sorts of unlikely eventualities, but she somehow can’t handle the plucky teenagers.  Give me a break.  From the moment you meet her, you know Gyokuen is going to be one of those bad guys that will require some clever thinking to defeat.  I felt like Maeve could just be snuck up on and murdered by anyone who knew her schedule.  Her last ditch effort against Aelin was clever, but other than that, she barely puts up a fight despite all the fear and hype she gets from almost every character in the book.

Now, like I said above, I did enjoy these books.  I don’t feel like my time was wasted or that I was manipulated by them at all.  I had fun with them the same way that I have fun with SyFy channel original movies.  The characters and story had so much more potential than what this amounted to, but I don’t hate this series at all.  Yes, the subplot with the gods was idiotic and unnecessary, but the valg were interesting as an enemy type.  Yes, the romance shoved down my throat could be awful at times, but some of the relationships were genuinely sweet.  Chaol and Dorian are the best bros, and I love Lysandra taking it upon herself to protect this little girl when she could’ve looked the other way.  Manon’s relationship with Asterin was great as well.  Do I wish it was better?  Absolutely.  Should it be boycotted by everyone?  Of course not.  Despite their problems, these books are fun, fluffy, popcorn movie fun, and sometimes, that’s just fine.

[hermioneshandbag]

Truth or Spin the Bottle

“Y/N!!! Come over here and join us,” Lily called out drunkenly.

You were returning from a study group in Ravenclaw tower. Not the most fun on a Friday night, perhaps, but you needed the help in Potions and your cousin's group had really helped you. Unfortunately, your cousin was a lot more studious than you and to keep your spot in the group you had to be as dedicated as the rest of them. So, generally speaking, your social life was non-existent.

You smiled at your tipsy friend. Lily always tried to include you. Even though she had started dating James Potter and that meant that his best friend Sirius Black was generally present for the festivities, she still tried to include you even though she knew that you had been in a hate/hate relationship with Sirius for years.

And he was sitting in the circle with Lily, James, Remus and a few other friends. They all looked like they had been liberally hitting the bottle.

Sirius sneered at you and said, “As if bloody Princess Y/N would lower herself to drink with the likes of us, Lily.”

“Oh, Sirius, it wouldn't be lowering myself to drink with anyone but you,” you said sweetly with an insincere smile.

“By all means, Your Highness, we’ll get you a fresh bottle so you don’t have to touch the same one as me.”

You didn't understand why Sirius was challenging you, but teenage bravado and the Gryffindor spirit would not allow you to back down from his dare.

“Well then, Black, as long as I don’t have to risk any number of diseases by putting my lips anywhere yours have been, I'm in,” you said, squeezing in between Lily and Remus.

“Yay! We’re playing Truth or Spin the Bottle,” James slurred.

“Oh, Merlin, those are two different games.”

“Nope, just like it sounds,” Lily said happily.

“Fine,” you said.

Apparently the rules also include drinking if you cross your arms or said the word 'idiot,’ which you learned the hard way when you crossed your arms and called Sirius an idiot and had to drink twice.

“Are there any more rules that I should know about?” you asked after you took your drinks.

“I think that’s about it,” James said.

The play went around the circle and a few people got caught with crossed arms, including you once more. When Lily’s turn came, she asked you, “Truth or Spin the Bottle?”

“Truth,” you said, not wanting to take the chance of spinning the bottle and hitting Sirius.

“Alright,” she said with an evil glimmer in her eye. “Why do you hate Sirius?”

Your eyes darted over to Sirius, who looked very interested in your answer. You looked away quickly and said, “I changed my mind, I’ll spin the bottle.”

“Nope, you picked truth,” chimed in James.

Remus, being the helpful and sadistic soul that he was, said, “Well, perhaps with an extra incentive we could allow such a blatant disregard for the time-honored rules of Truth or Spin the Bottle.”

“You just made this game up tonight,” you said through gritted teeth.

“Nevertheless, I think we should allow Y/N to spin the bottle, but instead of a kiss, she has to spend 10 minutes in the cupboard kissing whomever the bottle points to.”

After a general hum of agreement from everyone but Sirius, you chugged some firewhiskey and spun the bottle.

Of course it landed on Sirius. Of course it did.

There was a moment of silence and then hysterical laughter.

“I am not going in the cupboard with her!” Sirius stated vehemently.

“For the first time in the history of ever, I agree with Sirius,” you said.

“Y/N, you verbally agreed to it, and Sirius, you tacitly agreed when you didn't leave the circle. Into the cupboard with the both of you,” Lily commanded.

You met Sirius’ eyes and realized that this was happening or neither of you would ever hear the end of it. Reluctantly, you followed him over to the cupboard, the rest of the game participants following along to heckle.

As you stepped into the cramped space with Sirius, Remus’ voice rang through and said, “Remember, you have to kiss for ten minutes and unfortunately for you, I recently learned a spell that will not allow the door to be unlocked until you do. So, pucker up!”

You both started pounding on the door, Sirius adding some pretty colorful threats to Remus if he didn't let you out, but all you heard was the laughter of the group moving away from the door.

“Bloody fucking everlasting hell,” Sirius growled.

“Wow. I agree with you twice in one evening. Unprecedented.”

“Y’know it would be great if you could not be an utter bitch and help me figure out how to get out of here without either of us having to do something we would have nightmares about for years to come.”

“Charming, as always, Black.”

“I’m not the one who started this, Y/L/N.”

“Oh, really? 'Ohhh Princess Y/N would never lower herself to drink with us!’” you mimicked in a low, dull voice. “What the hell was that about, eh?”

“You started it years ago, out of nowhere, I might add!”

“Oh, I’m sure you cuddle up at night with your righteous indignation that I have no reason for my dislike, don’t you?”

“Don’t flatter yourself, love, I have never thought of you while I’m in bed.”

“Well, that would stand to reason, I suppose,” you sneered.

“I don’t even know what that means!” he shouted.

“Sirius Black, one of the great minds of our time, doesn't get something? I am shocked! Shocked, I tell you!”

You stood in cold silence for a few minutes.

“They stopped screaming. Do you think one killed the other?” Lily asked casually.

James actually looked a bit worried, but Remus simply shrugged and said, “They need to work this out.”

“That was some deft wandless and non-verbal spellwork, Moony. Most impressive,” Lily complimented him as she tipped the firewhiskey bottle in his direction before taking a drink.

“Always nice to have one’s work acknowledged,” Remus said with a small smile and a seated bow.

“Wait, what spellwork?” James asked, having missed the spell.

“Your buddy here stopped the bottle on Sirius after he suggested that ridiculous stipulation. He’s really quite devious,” Lily said with admiration.

“Sirius will kill you if he ever finds out,” James said with trepidation.

“Well, hopefully they’ll have a colossal row and get whatever is between them out in the open. If that happens, it will be worth the tantrum Sirius throws. Their feud is becoming quite tedious.”

Just then the screaming began anew in the cupboard, signaling the beginning of round two.

“This is bloody ridiculous,” you muttered as you looked for somewhere to sit.

“All right, let's just do this and get it over with.”

“Do what exactly?”

“Kiss. I don't want to do it any more than you do, but if it will get us out of here it will be worth it.”

“Ah I’ll pass, thanks.”

“Fine. We’ll just rot in here, is that better? Because I would like to be as far from you as possible.”

“You’ve made that abundantly clear over the years,” you said snidely.

“Wait, I have? What about you? I thought we were mates and then one day you just hated me!”

“Y’know what, let's just get out of here.”

“So we kiss?”

“Let’s exhaust our other options before we resort to that.”

“Y’know a lot of girls would be thrilled to be in your position,” Sirius bragged.

“Please, bring one here and let me out. Oh, not an option? Then that statement was completely pointless, yeah?”

“Do you have your wand?”

“No, do you?”

“I did, Moony must have picked my pocket.” With that, Sirius resumed his threats against Remus’ general health at top volume.

“Just kiss me and get this over with!” he screamed at you after his tirade against Moony was finished.

“I’d rather kiss Snape with tongue than give you a peck on the cheek,” you said with venom in your voice.

“What did I ever do to you? We were friends! We did everything together. I was as close to you as I was to James, Remus and Peter. Then one day in fourth year you hated me and wouldn't talk to me. What did I do?” he screamed in utter frustration.

“Oh don't pretend like we were actually friends, Black. I learned the hard way that we weren't” you shouted back.

“I would really love to know what I did. The other guys have no clue and have blamed me for the last three years for you cutting us all off. So either get over here and kiss me so we can get out of here and go back to our regular shitty treatment of each other or tell me why you hate me,” he said in a slightly quieter, more controlled voice.

“They'll let us out soon. If we're quiet they’ll want to see which one of us lived through it.”

“The silence is creeping me out,” James said. He cared for both of you and didn't like the distance that had sprung up overnight, but he would never have interfered like this.

“Maybe they’re talking,” Peter said, but none of them really thought so.

“How long d’you reckon we’ve been in here?” Sirius broke the silence to ask a while later.

You didn't answer him right away, then shrugged and said, “I dunno. Maybe an hour?”

A while later, Sirius said quietly, “Y/N?”

“What?” you snapped back.

“Why do you hate me?” he whispered.

“Does it even matter at this point?” you answered wearily. “Soon we'll be done with school and you’ll never have to look at my ugly buck teeth, giant ears and gawky mudblood body again.”

Sirius stiffened. Those words seemed familiar.

“What did you say?”

“You heard me,” she said coldly. “And I heard you.”

Sirius was taken back to fourth year. He had run into his cousin Bellatrix and she was telling him all the ways that he was a failure as a person and a disappointment to his family. He had stood quietly and accepted the verbal abuse. Bellatrix was in the heat of the moment and already quite the blood purity Zealot. It would do no good to argue with her.

“And your little girlfriend! How you could ever associate with her is beyond me.”

Sirius straightened his spine at that point. He did not want Bellatrix focusing on you. You were not a fighter and he had to make her believe that you meant nothing to him.

“Are you talking about Y/N? Bellatrix, look at me! Why would I ever go out with a mudblood like her? I mean, if the goofy buck teeth and giant ears didn't make me ill, her gawky body would do it. She’s one of Remus’ strays he collects. I merely tolerate her.”

You had come upon them and hidden behind a suit of armor. Bellatrix had always frightened you and Sirius warned you to stay back if you ever saw her. Your association with him would paint a target on you.

He had told you this in the Astronomy Tower just a few days before -- after he had kissed you for the first time.

“You heard me talking to Bellatrix,” he said, anguished.

“Yes,” you answered, your voice dripping with hurt and malice. “You broke my heart.”

“And you broke mine! How fucking dare you tell me I meant something to you and then not even talk to me after you heard something like that!”

“Wait, this is my fault?”

“Yes, it’s your bloody fault! I say something that is completely out of character for me and you decide to give me the silent treatment for three fucking years? It never occurred to you to ask me why I said that? Fucking hell, Y/N, you have treated me like shit for three bloody years over something I said to my psycho cousin to protect you from my family!”

“Oh you are such a liar.”

“The only time I ever lied to you was when I said I hated you.”

“Well, I am off to bed,” Remus said, stretching a bit before heading to the steps.

“Wait,” James said, “you have to let them out.”

“The cupboard isn’t even locked. They're just so preoccupied with each other that they haven't tried to open it.”

“You’ve done a bloody great impression of someone who hates me if you really don’t,” you accused.

“I suppose I did for a while,” he responded quietly. “After you cut me off, it just hurt too much to wonder why. Then you got so bloody nasty.

“But most of all I missed you. We went from being best friends to you being my girlfriend and then despising me all in a few days. And even if you didn't want me as a boyfriend...Merlin, I missed you. I still miss you,” he said with a self deprecating laugh. “How pathetic is that?”

You were silent. Had you made a mistake by not asking Sirius? Was he telling the truth then when he was speaking to Bellatrix -- or now?

Had he meant it when he kissed you?

Could he ever forgive you?

“I miss you, too,” you said so quietly Sirius couldn't even hear you.

“What?” he asked dully.

“I’m sorry, Sirius. I can't say that things would have wound up any differently, but you're right. It was unlike you, and you had warned me multiple times that she wasn't in her right mind. I should have given you a chance to explain. I guess we'll never know what might have been.

“But you’re right: after being friends for so long and then sharing our feelings and our first kiss...I should have given you the benefit of the doubt. I was foolish and impulsive and I threw you away,” you started crying, great fat tears and undignified hiccups.

Sirius grabbed your wrist and pulled you over to his lap, sat you down and hugged you, rubbing your back and soothing your emotional outburst.

“So...you ready to get out of here?”

You leaned forward and brushed your lips across Sirius’ eyes, nose, cheeks and finally, his lips. Sirius then took the lead and kissed you like his very life depended on it.

It was heaven. It was beauty and peace and thunder and lightning and starry nights and sunny days to be in his arms again.

It was too much for your heart to know that you had caused both of you so much pain through your own insecurity. You started crying again, releasing the anguish of three wasted, painful years.

“Tomorrow is Hogsmeade. Are you going?” Sirius asked you as your tears settled and you were cuddled up against his chest.

“I have no plans to, no,” you replied warily.

“Then how about we spend the day together, like we used to. See if we still read each other's minds and finish each other's sentences?”

“You would forgive me after all the awful things --”

“It's forgiven. It's in the past. You're back where you belong and we have time.”

“Is this where you belong, Sirius?”

“Love, you will never know how much I’ve missed you. I’m not going to let my pride get in the way of a dream come true.”

You caressed his cheek and he turned into your hand to savor the feeling. He was still the same affectionate boy he had always been with you. You kissed him gently and said, “I will never leave you again, Sirius. Not until you tell me to go away.”

Sirius pulled you close, swallowed hard as if to stifle a sob and said, “Then you’ll never leave me, because I never want to be without you in my life again.”

Then he kissed you, his lips filled with passion and promise.

And quite a while later, you realized that the door should have opened three or four times by then. You were so happy you didn’t even prank Moony in retribution. He had given you back to each other.

And this time, you knew it was forever.

~The Beginning

[renaramblesaboutcomics]

Wednesday Roundup 25.9.2017

Okay, so I had another huge comic week, and looking forward this might be the last time that really happens for a while since at least three of these issues are here due to previous delays. and I’m trying pretty desperately to cut down on comics I’m subscribed to now. Which just emphasizes the fact that this week made it SO much more difficult to declare that because there was so much good.

... There was also some hilarious outrage on my part, too, so if you’re here for that you will not be disappointed.

Image’s Black Magick, DC’s Detective Comics, DC’s Harley Quinn and Batman, Marvel’s Immortal Iron Fists, Marvel’s Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur, DC’s Nightwing, Image’s Saga, IDW’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Dark Horse’s Zodiac Starfore: Cries of the Fire Prince

Image’s Black Magick (2015-present) #8 Greg Rucka, Nicola Scott

Have I mentioned lately how Nicola Scott may be the most gifted artist in the industry in a while? Not since last month? Well we are definitely well past due time!

Story: Things are ramping up as the Hammer’s members increase their numbers and keep close watch on Rowan while Rowan settles things with her partner only to be manipulated once again by the terrifying forces of these unknown entities with that creepy AF girl with the stitched up mouth. That is a lot of stuff being unpacked in one issue and yet the moving parts never feel like they’re incongruent or taking away from each other. Seeing Rowan’s familiar watching the Hammer members, seeing Rowan struggle to be more open with her partner, and then seeing her old demons (literally) beginning to come to her work and haunt her there (literally and figuratively) all feels like it moves perfectly together.

I just really wish we didn’t have to do a “gay scare” which is a bit disappointing from Rucka, honestly. Haha get it Rowan was worried that her partner was onto her for being a witch and he just was mad because he thought she wasn’t coming out to him and it’s just all a good laugh. Or at least I would be laughing if either Alex or Rowan were confirmed queer women and so it isn’t just that he’s well meaning but oblivious while... literally taking away the possibility of representation. 

Maybe this will be corrected later in that very way! Who knows, I’ll be relieved if it is, but until then it feels like an unnecessary marring of what is otherwise a great story I’ve been enjoying.

Art:  I mean... just look at it! Nicola Scott is... arguably the best artist in comics right now. Her work is phenomenal and nothing presents that fact more than just how expertly she manages the medium in almost any way and how it adapts based on the type of story she’s writing. It’s very special for an artist’s style to work as well in a bombastic, colorful superhero comic then turn around and hit the perfect contrast of noir and witchcraft narratives. And all of her characters are distinct and especially her variety of noses, it’s simply gorgeous.

Nicola Scott very well may be the best artist in the business right now and any comic company that doesn’t snatch her up for major titles is foolish, honestly.  

DC’s Detective Comics (2016-present) #965 James Tynion IV, Eddy Barrows, Eber Ferreira, Adriano Lucas

Well, it’s weird to say but if there was any issue for me to read before I took a short break from ‘Tec I am so glad it was this one. Which has all the makings of a backhanded compliment but we’ll see where I take it. Probably will seem like a backhanded compliment but I’m going to try to swing it toward positive.

Story: So I’ve been pretty sure I was going to drop ‘Tec for the upcoming storyline and then jump on again later for the next one, similar to how I did for the Monster Men crossover event, but I was really curious about Tim’s return and more specifically about the context of Tynion bringing Tim back which made me pretty excited for this comic. I love Tim Drake of old and reading this issue reinforced the fact that this current Tim Drake is the Tim of the 90s that I fell in love with -- the dork who loved Batman and Robin so much he put his life at risk to save the legacy of his heroes. And while this issue culminated mostly in a “slideshow” of Tim’s retconned retconned history bringing us back to the Tim origins from “A Lonely Place of Dying”, it actually felt really loving and refreshing to see the character I grew to love so much back in action. 

I don’t care one bit about this Evil Future or Mister Oz or literally anything else going on right now. In fact I find that whole crossover tedious enough I dropped Superman a while back but I really did feel like I needed this reminder that we’re supposed to be reading this Rebirth Tim as the Tim we knew and cared about in the past. And that made this issue on its own worthwhile to me. 

Art: Eddy Barrows is an excellent artist, through and through. The coloring’s fantastic, the art itself dynamic. Even with a familiar storyline and setup that we’ve all read before, he manages to find ways to make it read as unique and new through subversive angles and set ups. I really enjoyed his take on everything from Tim’s past. But even great artists sometimes fail the Batmanequin challenge. Which is, can anyone tell who the Batboys are apart from each other when they’re all the same age. The answer is no. His Tim looks identical to his Bruce to his Jason to his Dick and most of the time to his Damian and we’ve really got to change that at some point or else there will be a singularity of Batboys and we will all be sucked into an artistic blackhole and not in the fun way.

DC’s Harley Quinn and Batman (2017) #4 Ty Templeton, Rick Burchett

After this issue there’s only one issue left and in all honesty.... it’s about time we had some real emotional direction actually driving this comic because I’ve been asking for the last few issues “where is any of this going”. And since I all but refuse to watch the animated movie sharing a similar name, it’s that much more confusing for me trying to figure out what exactly this is all culminating in. 

Story: Like I said, we’re finally getting some real tension in this issue as we have Harley confronting Ivy, it becoming more and more obvious that Ivy has a genuine problem with rejecting her own humanity for the sake of becoming as much of a plant as possible, and we also get that emotional catharsis of Ivy at least somewhat confessing that Harley is the only person she cares about. And it’s obviously a deep and intimate form of caring. She’s pained by the potential of Harley’s rejection and offended at the assumption that Harley would think of herself as anything less than her partner. But this comic, like all of comic canon, just refuses to give us THE WORDS. I’m so tired of partner being emphasized instead of girlfriend. I’m tired of cared being acceptable substitution for love. And I’m REALLY tired of Harley and Ivy only being portrayed as sexy and into each other in a way that’s meant to be attractive to guys. I’m not a guy. I’m a woman who likes other women. And I would like for this relationship, if it’s to be real on any level, be treated respectfully and given canonicity. Maybe we’ll get that next issue. I’m hoping, but since next issue is the last I’m not exactly expecting much. 

Dick and Bruce are... still fun? I guess. It’s not really their story and I’m not sure why Batman’s even in the title at this point. His addition to this story culminates in a “not really”

Art: I gave Rick Burchett’s first two issues a hard time, especially compared to the guest artist for last issue, but this issue really had him stepping up his game and reminding us all why he’s been working with these characters and especially this style for the past twenty or more years. He really nails it... though it still has that edge of lacking refinement that we might see in something other than a digital first comic, the colors are really enhanced, the character and background art more detailed and controlled, and just overall this was a very pleasant looking and well laid out issue. Great work all around

Marvel’s Immortal Iron Fists (2017) #5 (of 6) Kaare Andrews, Afu Chan, Shelly Chen

We’re beginning to near an ending for this miniseries and I am growing an ominous, horrible feeling that I am desperately hoping is completely off base and unfounded outside of my constant apprehension of trusting comics too much. But we’ll get into that.

Story: As we left off last time, it was the culmination of all the storylines that we had seen building up in Immortal Iron Fists before then, Pei and her friends, the popularity drama that was the school dance, Danny’s feelings of responsibility and pride, the ten scrolls of Mara, and the strangely backward advice of the babysitter that Pei had been receiving throughout. And it all came down to a climactic battle with Danny and Pei finally at long last fighting side by side, both as the Immortal Iron Fist.

But suddenly there can only be.... one? And to save the world and inherit her responsibility as the Immortal Iron Fist, Pei had to choose whether or not she would take the dragon’s heart straight from Danny himself and use his chi to defeat Mara and his legion of demons. Which, of course, Pei refused and chose instead to sacrifice her own chi so that Danny could save the world.

This apparently erased Pei from reality and everyone’s memories in one solid swipe and sent her... to hell?? Where Brenda, who was in the storyline that brought Pei into the comics but has not been a factor through all of this miniseries, is a zombie champion fighter who saves Pei and her classmate that’s been in the coma because Mara was planning to use his body for his resurrection and also the popular girl, Danny’s girlfriend for an issue, an the babysitter are all daughters of Mara who are responsible for all this chaos. 

And I genuinely feel like there’s been a lot of missed opportunities in the previous four issues that would have allowed this to be set up more. And that’s what is leading to the worries I mentioned in the opening. As far as I’ve seen, in Defenders or the solicits for Immortal Iron Fist, Pei has not been allowed to make much of an impact outside of Andrews’ runs. And.... I would really hate that a series that has sold e SO hard on Pei and on a new spin on Danny Rand to be a series that gives Marvel an easy out to erase those very things. 

We have one issue left to go so I suppose we’ll have to wait and see in that regard.

Art: It’s still good art, still all-ages, but I’m starting to grow the opinion thanks to @secretlystephaniebrown and mine’s insightful talks that comis with cute art and lots of slapstick are pretty much utilizing a certain style to undermine dramatic writing or consequences in fear of being genuine. Or, in terms, bathos. And I really hope that’s not the intentions here because the relationship between Danny and Pei are genuinely sweet and good and if that’s the intention I really hate that comics don’t have the confidence to be dramatic fully in heart. 

Marvel’s Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur (2015-present) #23 Brandon Montclare, Natacha Bustos, Tamra Bonvillain

I’m worried about my favorite adorable team of superheroes. How can there be a Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur if there is no Devil Dinosaur? But also... is this the inevitable end? Are there not more adventures to come of our favorite world class genius and dinosaur? According to solicits there’s more for Lunella but is there more for the friendship that warmed our hearts? Are any of us truly ready to say goodbye?

Story: Legitimately I have no idea what’s going to happen next with this comic because it seems like Lunella is sidekick hunting for the next couple of issues, so the real question is how ready did this issue make us to move on from the loving friendship between a girl from Yancey Street and her bumbling dinosaur? Honestly, compared to the majority of the tight and loving writing of this series, it doesn’t feel like this conclusion was something we were very well prepared for. Sure, Moon Boy and Devil Dinosaur are something we know of vaguely from other comics, but the anticlimax of the goodbye, and just how obvious it was that neither Lunella nor Devil were ready for it made the profound loneliness of this move feel so dissatisfying. Especially when Lunella returns to a doombot empty base instead of going home and emphasizes the strangeness even more. 

I’m hopeful that this is set up, but I’m always on high alert for books like this that could easily be canceled by Marvel and worried about ending on a note I really wouldn’t want it to.

Art: As always, the art for this book is gorgeous and the coloring is fascinating and eye popping. The cooler hues this time around really helped with the more subdued and sadder tone of the comic which made the actions toward the end not only more disconcerting but plainly just more heartbreaking. It was an excellent choice and incredibly subtle but effective. This is a creative team that truly understands their crafts more than the vast majority of people in the industry today, and that’s saying something since quality is not exactly in short supply in recent years. 

DC’s Nightwing (2016-present) Vol. 3: Nightwing Must Die Tim Seeley, Javier Fernandez, Chris Sotomayor

So I don’t.... really have any surprises in the works for those of you who follow my main blog at @renaroo who got to witness me liveblogging my experience reading this comic yesterday, but I’ll just put it definitively on the record here: Uh. Not a good effort here, guys. And this is officially the last thing written by Tim Seeley this gal is going to be picking up. Which I’m getting really tired of saying about writers who handle either one of my main two DC dudes -- Dick or Terry. Can we just... have anyone... care a little more? A bit?

Story: Okay so there’s about three plots going on at the same time during this comic and I’m going to address them in the three and then talk about the One Issue That Doesn’t Fit after. So four parts: The Robin Story, The Baby Story, and The Batman Story, and then The Good One. The way the plot is laid out you could argue that these three are interwoven enough to deserve going in a linear basis but I would argue no not really. Please take note that the title of this storyline according to the trade cover is “Nightwing Must Die”, a callback to the climax of Morrison’s run on the original Batman and Robin (2009-2011) series titled “Batman and Robin Must Die”. No, I’m not nerdy and observant, this thing is determined to hit you over the head with this allusion at every turn. 

The Robin Story: Damian who has basically been forcefully emancipated from Bruce and sent to live across the country with the Teen Titans rather than ... idk just be sent to Gotham Academy which is a boarding school anyway, is pissed because internet forums have declared that the original Robin -- aka Dick -- is the best Robin and Damian sucks. Why Damian suddenly cares about 4Chan is beyond me but here we are. Now, despite there being an overly long and obnoxious storyline in Batman and Robin (2011-2015) called “War of the Robins” where Damian already went through this and beat up all his predecessors sans Dick because they have an actual relationship, or the entirety of “Robin: Son of Batman”, or the huge storyline “Robin Wars” where there were 30 Robins including Duke Thomas all over Gotham and something I didn’t pay attention to about the Court of Owls and Lincoln March -- this is a useless subplot that makes no sense for the characters or relationship that has already been established by Damian and Dick here. That’s what I’m saying. 

Because this story isn’t interested in getting Damian right or doing him any service. This is dedicated to Dick in... about the worst way. And the weak motivation for getting Damian in Blüdhaven in order to reinact the events of “Batman and Robin Must Die” are so contrived that there’s really this feeling of “we need Damian in Blüdhaven come up with an excuse later” instead of it being something organic. For example: Damian is quick to bring up his concerns that Dick staying in Blüdhaven and starting a new life with Shawn is because he’s trying to become Batman of his “own franchise” and that he’s abandoning the rest of the family. This is really disconnected from the motivation of “who’s the best Robin” and would make more sense on a character level if Damian went to Blüdhaven of his own volition because of that concern to begin with. He feels pushed out of the family, and with Tim’s death he’s upset and surprised by Dick’s seeming abandonment of everyone else. Including him. The Robin with THE most abandonment issues this side of Jason Todd. Why not bring up something along the lines of “you haven’t been home since the funeral”. That would contrast the themes of family, Dick and Damian’s relationship, and Dick’s supposed worries about personal responsibility all at once. 

This isn’t how that was handled and I am suspicious as to why. because we had to have that awful, ugly -- for me personally inexcusable -- panel where Dick tells Damian that he knows no one can balance being a superhero and having a secondary identity because Bruce sucks at it SO BAD that he now has the “burden” of being a father to a bunch of Batkids which he follows up with “And the one I think suffers the most from this is you, Damian. His only real son.” 

So. You know. Fuck themes about nonconventional families and adoption I guess. Tim Seeley, go kick your own ass because you don’t even deserve the ass kicking from me.

It might seem like I’m being harsh but this one moment is SO hugely stupid and never brought up again or refuted later to the point that not only is it gross on a real world level, it actually REALLY weakens the theme of families and the such through the rest of the story specifically because there’s now this big ugly turd of a plot thread looming and never dealt with. 

Professor Pyg and Doctor Hurt are back from Dick and Damian’s time as Batman and Robin and theyve made a bunch of disgusting Dollatrons specifically of Damian and Dick, or Robintron and Deathwing. This actually matters a lot less to the story than you might actually think because Robintron and Deathwing don’t have a relationship outside of being made to believe they’re Robin and Nightwing and one ultimately kills the other once they remember this. It’s symbolic because the Robintron was in Dick’s original Robin suit and Deathwing was in the New52 Nightwing suit do you get it do you get it do you get what they’re trying to say here it’s clever. Anyway. 

The symbolism on a meta level is pretty on the nose “The New52 Dick killed the innocence of the old timey Golden Age Dick la da da” but in story we don’t really have Damian go through an arc or actually develop as a result of this matter and neither does Dick. Does Dick feel like his identity as Nightwing has killed his relationship with Damian? With his other family? With his idealistic self? It doesn’t... seem like it. Dick just kind of... punches Doctor Hurt after he decides that tragedy doesn’t define him... or something. It was from the hallucinations and like a whole issue later from Deathwing killing Robintron. And then Deathwing and Doctor Hurt kill each other by stabbing and falling rocks. Both ways in which villains have NEEEVVVEEERRRRR returned from the dead from before so I’m sure they’re gone forever.

So the Robin Storyline as a whole? it kinda comes to a conclusion with a genuinely nice two page spread where Dick and Damian talk about missing each other and missing their time as Batman and Robin. Dick even confesses something that would have brought all these storylines together rather nicely if it was done correctly: when Bruce came back to be Batman, Dick thought of staying as Batman, too in order to stay with Damian and train and raise him. But ultimately he thought, at the time, that he wasn’t old enough or ready enough to take that responsibility. 

Dick was not ready to be a father but now he looks back at himself and who he is now and is ready for another go, with Damian or with his own children in the future. ... EXCEPT that reading of how the themes would play out are completely undermined and broken beyond repair by having Dick say that UNBELIEVABLE comment about how Damian is the only REAL son to Bruce and that the “Batfamily” aren’t a unit like that. Therefore the Robin Storyline doesn’t really have a conclusion. 

Damian’s going to go back to San Francisco and still get pissed at /b/, there’s no family unit for anyone to reflect on, and.... the baby storyline:

The Baby Storyline: I could sum this up with one gif. I really could. I’m not going to but because I know this is only entertaining to hear me yell for an extent, have the gif anyway:

Now I’ll go into what actually bothered me about this storyline. Because this is tied to Dick’s relationship with Shawn and their pregnancy scare alone, and we see Dick freaking out at the possibility of the immense responsibility he may be stepping into, it actually genuinely had the potential to be a huge deal, a big game changer, something that actually would have developed both their characters and really questioned what they would be doing going forward with their lives. Would they both give up their costume lives? Would they move from Blüdhaven if they’re not defending the streets and it’s a terrible part of town? Would the baby have superheroes in its life from an early age?

It doesn’t matter because in what could probably be the weakest fake out ever, Shawn’s not pregnant she’s just... apparently not as regular as she once assumed. Which, hey, I hear that that happens fairly often for my fellow uterus havers and you know what? They’re young adults in their first serious relationship so I actually get the freakout from both of them. 

But it doesn’t end up meaning anything other than Dick screams at Damian a few times that they have to save his “girlfriend AND baby” and for some reason Damian just goes with it because Damian of course has never before in his life ever shown signs of jealousy and concerns about conditional love. 

The biggest problem beyond the fact that this plot’s resolution is a huge PSYCH spitting in everyone’s face is that... what... was the tie-in here? 

Was it JUST the drama of “PHEWWWW dodged that bullet, now let’s go give Sandy a makeover”? I guess so. 

Because if this was actually tied to the plots of the storyline it would have ended with at least one speech from Dick to Shawn, to his monologue, or to Damian that back when he returned to being Nightwing because he feared being too young and to unprepared to take responsibility for raising Damian, he had been wrong. He’s not ready because no one is, but he has a relationship with Damian that proves that he’s more than ready to be a father then and now. That he might not do it Bruce’s way because he didn’t like Bruce’s priorities, but he would find a way to balance all the aspects of his life and so can Shawn.

But that would require this story to... care about Shawn’s character more. 

I actually like Shawn? I want to see more of her and I think there’s a lot of potential there, but at the end of this story outside of genuinely good moments, like the time with her and Deathwing where she tries to soothe him, she’s... just a damsel to be rescued? Just a possible babymomma for tension?

If she was more than that, then the plot would have given her more to do once she joined Dick and Damian. Like even ONE scene of her and Damian playing off of each other in the aftermath would have done wonders, made her more than just an attachment for the advancement of Dick’s character, but we get more development for Deathwing and Robintron than for the potential love of Dick’s life.

Kidding. DC would never let Babs and Dick have actual meaningful romances outside of each other anymore. Just like DC will never let them have meaningful romances with each other!

So this was a trip into a cul de sac of disappointment. 

Also condoms condoms condoms condoms condoms boys and girls. Wrap it before you tap it. 

Or be a lesbian. But that’s my answer for everything.

#Shawn Tsang deserves better #Hollatchagirl

The Batman Story: Oh, Bruce. How your shadow lingers large over all things that have nothing to do with you. 

This is the “actual” plot. The one about Shawn being kidnapped and it all ending up being a plot by Professor Pyg and Doctor Hurt to relive the “Batman and Robin Must Die” storyline because....

Well. That’s the problem.

Doctor Hurt, as much as I really wasn’t a fan of that storyline under Morrison, served a very specific purpose. He was the antithesis to Dick when it came to Bruce’s legacy. Dick was his ward but also Bruce’s light and when he ascended to becoming Batman he took most of that with him and grew into the cape, so to speak. He embodied the detective work that Bruce taught him (finding the clues in the mantle that found the secret door), he embodied the friendship (taking his place as Batman on several superhero teams), and most importantly he embodied the head of the family. Alfred gave him advice, but Dick kept the Batfamily together as best he could, specifically by raising Damian as Bruce had raised him. And none of it was easy. 

Doctor Hurt worked as a villain to Dick’s Batman because he embodied the worst of Bruce’s darkness. The strange and forgotten stories of the past, the psychological horror, the devilish iconography. Those things that were Gritty McBadBat about Bruce were never things that Dick was going to embody as Batman. And that’s why Doctor Hurt and him battled, basically over the heart of Damian: Robin, the partner, the son, the future of the cowl. 

I didn’t like “Batman and Robin Must Die” because rather than have a huge statement about choosing the direction for Batman’s future by having Dick battle and defeat Doctor Hurt and his continuity drag, Morrison literally deus ex machina’d by having Bruce travel back through time and save Dick and Damian and basically take control immediately. It was such an anticlimax to both Dick and Damian’s arc even though Morrison tried to play it off as being the culmination of Dick and Damian and everyone else looking for Bruce plus Bruce’s “Return of Bruce Wayne” storyline. It’s messy and just feels like “whatever” at the end. 

I don’t like it here because .... Dick’s not Batman. He and Damian aren’t partners. Neither of those things have been factors for either of those characters for six years now and, I hate to break it to everyone here, but at least one of them was “dead” for at least three of those years anyway. 

Doctor Hurt is a Dick Grayson villain, but he is not a Nightwing villain. And the attempt to make him one here fell incredibly flat. 

Also why was Professor Pyg there? Does Professor Pyg now know Dick and Damian’s secret identities too? Was that throw away line about him building dollatrons for Hurt meant to tell us that no only Hurt knows the identities? How is that much better? Why does everyone know Dick’s identity and he doesn’t care? Why doesn’t Damian care that the random Robintron knows his full name and who his father is? Why doesn’t Dick? If only Hurt knows then how did Pyg brainwash Robintron and Deathwing? If Pyg didn’t why did Hurt need Pyg to brainwash them for this since he apparently already knows how?

This story basically sacrificed all logic within the story itself to tie-in Dick’s time as Batman, which he doesn’t want to go back to and isn’t  even tempted to go back to throughout the story, purely to justify having the Bat as part of the cover logo still. That’s it. 

The Good One: There’s a one shot at the very end of this volume, #21, that’s definitely filler in between storylines but is actually the best thing in this entire volume. Probably the best of this run of Nightwing I’ve read and... apparently will ever read since I’ve paid my penance and given Seeley’s turn a chance. It’s a classic team up between Dick and Wally with a pretty inventive villain named “Timebomb”. It’s funny, has a lot of heart, the coloring isn’t muted garbage, and it features some high stakes without losing its sense of fun. It’s a good issue. I would actually implore fans of Dick and Wally to pick it up. It does a great service to their friendship.

Art: The art is good, the entire “Nightwing Must Die” part was colored in this muted, pasty way that basically made all backgrounds feel like they weren’t a part of the scenes and made all humans look dead or undead as it were to the point that Dick and Damian -- both canonically characters of color and occasionally colored to match it -- have the same pallor of the rotting corpse faces sewn onto Robintron and Deathwing.

The exception is the blue used for Nightwing’s costume and gear and for Shawn’s hair because.... idk. I guess we’re supposed to guess that they’re important to the comic or something. 

No seriously, I love the art but they have to buy some more markers. I appreciate that you can only do so much when supplies are low but c’mon.

It’s a joke I know it’s a style choice I just don’t like the style.

But I emphasize again, the art is good. I just personally would go for the last issue’s coloring more than the main storyline’s. 

Image’s Saga (2012-present) #47 Fiona Staples, Brian K. Vaughn

The real question comes to be... will Saga ever have a truly bad issue? I doubt it. Like at this point I’m not really sure what a bad Saga issue would even look like, but I think there’s absolutely no doubt that mediocre issues or issues that were more build up for what is to come can exist. Again, I give backhanded compliments here but I mean them... in the best way possible? Never mind, these cold opens are hard.

Story: We don’t progress too awfully much in this issue. The Will is captured by a vengeful victim’s wife who means to torture him by making him suffer and forcing him to see the very people he loves die.... until money gets involved and suddenly like everyone else she wants to capture Hazel and company to make the big starbucks. But, strangely for Saga, for the first time in this series we really don’t.... go anywhere with this issue outside of what’s taking place with the Will’s torture. There’s no scenes exploring what’s going on with the other groups, there’s no narration from future Hazel, we’re left with the Will, his past we haven’t seen yet, and his current circumstances. 

Now this could make sense, the jumping around Will’s past is in place of jumping around the stars, and how could Hazel ever know what’s happening to the Will here, but it just all feels like a departure from the near omnipotence of Saga’s story before. And mostly it just feels like a setup for explaining how we get all the characters gathered for the next part of the story. And that’s.... not as cool as it could be. 

It’s definitely a weaker entry for Saga overall, but that’s like saying a TV show with 100 episodes may have some that aren’t perfect.

Art: Fiona Staples’ art continues to be the star of the series, but perhaps because of the restraints of the setup, this isn’t the most visually creative or wildest design ideas she’s had in this series. The reveal of the shrew woman’s face felt.... anticlimactic compared to some of the truly out there examples of aliens unlike anything I’ve ever imagined before and it made the pause for the joke “my husband was nearly as beautiful as me” feel like... “have you seen what some of the other alien species look like????”

Likewise the backgrounds of both the flashbacks and of the room Will’s tortured in are not as wild as we’ve seen before, but I have to say the creative idea of the floating prism in space kind of makes up for it because that was creative and visually awing. Again, much like the story itself, the art only suffers because in comparison to the rest of Saga I’m only kind of blown away and not totally blown away. 

IDW’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2011-present) #74 Kevin Eastman, Tom Waltz, Cory Smith, Ronda Pattison

Man we are just in the forest for transitions in storylines right now. Nothing is bad but nothing is standing out and I was expecting much the same with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles considering that we’re on Part II of the Trial of Kraang, but you know, it wouldn’t be TMNT if they weren’t continuing to surprise me.

Story: So this is a court drama because if there’s one thing that TMNT is dedicated to it is DOING ALL OF THE THINGS and apparently court drama hadn’t been checkmarked yet so here we are. And as someone who really genuinely likes the minutia of continuity and rules and regulations of different worlds and the way laws work in different universes, I found things fairly compelling. Not the least of which because of the smart use of characters and how they fit into their roles -- especially Donny and Professor Honeycutt both working as the prosecution. Don, after all, is the sci-fi heart of TMNT and him being in the thick of this as Kraang is the most “his” of their roster of villains makes perfect sense.

We mostly hit the same beats you’d expect from a court drama -- an unfavorable judge, slimy defense attorney making things hard for our prosecutors, the prosecutors pull a surprise key witness, and all in the background we have the unraveling of victims and friends trying to deal with the uncertainty of the situation while also.... fighting an interdimensional alien war. Hm. Okay so that last part is pure TMNT shenanigans but the drama of the story is really structured and punctual.

Which.... basically means that this issue is something like 80% dialogue with little tiny bits of action to give the other three turtles and their friends something to do while Don and Honeycutt hold down the fort. And if you’re prepared for that going in, you’ll probably find the case as interesting and the way facts are being retold and manipulated fascinating, but if you’re not then it’s probably going to be a bit of a slog compared to the ninja action you’re usually used to.

Art: TMNT’s art is always so shockingly good that it’s hard to comment on anymore. I really like how varied and interesting alien designs are with people not afraid to be gross by “human standards” when making things. And I like that the turtles manage to be simple so that they stand out in every setting without feeling out of place, and still have enough variation and ranges of emotions that there’s no confusing them with each other when the masks are off. It’s very good art and that should always be applauded. 

Dark Horse’s Zodiac Starforce: Cries of the Fire Prince (2017) #2 Kevin Panetta, Paulina Ganucheau, Sarah Stern

I have been on the edge of my seet for a few months now, waiting for news on when the next Zodiac Starforce was going to be coming out and, at long last, the answer came. It was today! And there was much rejoicing. From me. Because I’ve absolutely fallen for this team book.

Story: We learn more about the titular Fire Prince and honestly that’s where a lot of my apprehensions come into play. In the original comic series, the Starforce was comedic at times but its drama was never undercut by it. Relationships were taken seriously and the threat to the girls was certainly serious, particularly from their own goddess and from Cimmeria. So when the first half of this issue was spent with the Fire Prince and making his powers known but also having him laughably dance around and prove to be a bit of a sadsack and not even comparable to the last threat of Cimmeria -- having been imprisoned and shamed by her himself -- it was a little worrisome. The threat after a huge battle like last time shouldn’t really be followed up by something we’re directly told is lesser. And that fed right into the lesser fights too, with Savannah undercutting Alice’s threat by having to make a joke of why they were fighting and remind her of the fact that she even was a threat to the Starforce to begin with. I know I’m throwing this word around a lot lately but it feels like bathos -- like fearing the sincerity of the drama so going for a joke instead. And that wasn’t something I really remember happening in the previous volume.

That all said, the one thing always played straight and the risk that is never dampened is honestly the one that remains the most important overall, and that’s the relationships between the girls themselves. Lily and Savannah’s romance and Savannah’s obviously very supportive mother, Molly and Emma’s close friendship, everyone’s concern for Kim -- it’s all great stuff and taken seriously throughout which is why I still have a lot of hope and expectations for this series. It’s just so nice to see a book that’s so supportive and intent on emphasizing the importance of female relationships.

Art: The art for Zodiac Starforce is beautiful and popping, but it also has a very serious control of its style so as to not be cartoonish beyond the point of feeling the danger or concern for things within the story. Even so, there were a few things that felt off model this time around. It’s mostly nitpicking, but there was something different about the way Emma’s hair was drawn, specifically when she was Gemini, and there were a few times where Alice and her goons seemed to look very different from how I remembered them. but overall I can’t emphasize enough that it’s a beautiful book and really does capture the feeling of being a Western Magical Girl team story. 

There was a lot of good this week in a lot of different ways but when I think of what I enjoyed the most I have to absolutely give it to Black Magick. This book captures a unique style and tone of two things I sincerely love -- noir and witchcraft -- and is really doing something special with them in the modern age. And those are the kind of daring choices -- much like doing a mostly black-and-white comic when almost all comics stick to high definition coloring -- that really capture my attention and help any book stand out in a given week. So that absolutely must be my Pick of the Week, even with some of my harsher criticisms sent its way.

And, once more, I am in a bit of a financial crunch for a multitude of reasons, not the least of which being the medical bills I’m paying for my dog, Eve, who experienced a catastrophic dog fight and underwent surgery recently. On top of that, I have exactly a month and a half to pack up everything I own and move halfway across the country again which is not helping those financial crunches I mentioned before either.

As such, I really would appreciate if you enjoy my content or are interested in helping me out, please check out either my Patreon or PayPal. Every bit helps and I couldn’t thank you enough for enjoying and supporting my content.

You could also support me by going to my main blog, @renaroo, where I’ll soon be listing prices and more for art and writing commissions.

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[awesimz]

Hi guys, welcome to my Sims 4 “Differences in the Family Tree” legacy, which came about solely because my Sims 3 game keeps shitting out on me and I have finally run out of fucking patience, lol. TS4 runs so much faster on my PC anyway, and while I do miss the open world aspect, I can’t deny there’s something very pleasing about not lagging 24/7, lmao. This legacy has also been paired with the mini challenge “Runaway Teen”, but it’s pretty much only relevant during this episode so it’s not that big of a deal. I honestly just wanted more of a challenge.

At the moment, the only expansion pack I have is City Living, and the only game packs I have are Parenthood and Outdoor Retreat. 

Now, without further ado, let’s begin our little story :)

Meet Serah, our founder. After growing up in a household that was extremely controlling to the point of near suffocation, she ran away as a teen to finally find freedom from her oppressive parents. It was a spur of the moment decision, and while Serah desperately craved independence, she also wasn’t aware how hard it would be to strike out on her own. She crossed a few towns before finally settling down in Willow Creek, attempting to keep under the radar so that her parents wouldn’t find her and bring her back home.

Unfortunately, keeping under the radar meant that she couldn’t enroll in school, and because she couldn’t enroll in school, it meant her future job prospects were going to be very limited. More than that, being on any kind of pay roll could put her name back in the system, which would make it easier for her parents to find her. Therefore, Serah figured her best bet was to attempt to live off the land.

It... was probably going to take awhile until she started catching anything of quality though.

At least she looks pleased with herself.

She started her garden on a little patch of land she found on the outskirts of town though, knowing she would have to do more than fish to get by. (Also the damn thing is her LTW and the entire basis of the first part of this legacy challenge, so there’s that haha).

She also started digging up what she hoped were ‘treasures’ every chance she got, because right now she was sleeping on benches outdoors or couches in karaoke clubs and lbh, that shit was hell on her back.

Also it’s kinda just plain sad.

The park was easily Serah’s favorite place to hang out though, as it had not only all sorts of ways to make money, but it also gave her an opportunity to socialize with teens her own age.

Cassanda: So you’re, ah... not from around here, right? I haven’t seen you in school.

Serah: Yeah, I’m just passing through. My family’s moving to the city, but we stopped here to visit my grandparent’s first. It’s all pretty boring, which is why I’m hanging around here.

Lies.

She didn’t need Cassandra going home and telling her parents she met a homeless girl though.

Okay listen some of these frogs are actually worth a pretty penny, I’m surprised.

Which is why she can finally afford...... a bed, a trash can, and two whole walls. lmao.

GIRL YOU ARE IN PUBLIC WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

Also side note - is there a way to make them stop walking around in towels after showering at the gym cause this is ridiculous. Manually having to change her myself is tedious. 

Lola: Hey so... my friend Cass tells me you’re just here visiting your grandparents, right?

Serah: Yeah, I think I’m only gonna be here for a few more---

Lola: Oh, come on, don’t lie to me! I live near where you’re camping out, you know! I saw you when I was taking one of my long walks to get away from the crushing despair that will soon be my future, and you definitely weren’t visiting any one. In fact, you looked like you didn’t want to be seen.  Serah: Alright... fine. But if I tell you the truth, you can’t tell anyone. Swear? Lola: Swear.

Serah: So basically my parents are soul-crushing assholes that won’t accept that their child could be anything less than what they deemed to be fit, so I got the fuck out of dodge. I’m dirty, I’m poor, and I will probably never have a real job as long as I live, but fuck it, at least I have my freedom. Lola: ...Wicked.

Yeah, sure, if you enjoy living in poverty it’s totally cool, lol.

The next day, Serah received some visitors.

Serah: Uh... hi?

Serah: Listen, not to be rude - especially since all of you are pretty hot - but if any of you guys’ parents find out about me, I’m seriously fucked. Ya’ll are drawing way too much attention to me right now. Lola: Girrrrrrl, don’t even worry about it; this side of town is our regular hangout; a bunch of teenagers chilling on one lot won’t make anyone bat an eyelash. They’ll just think we found some abandoned shack to make into some kind of silly ‘clubhouse’ or something.  Cassandra: Wait, what do you mean, ‘find out about you’? I thought you were just passing through. Serah: *sigh* Never mind. And it’s not a--! Okay, maybe it is a bit of a shack.  Cassanda: ......I’m still confused. Lola: That’s not a surprise.

Serah: Hey! You though, you look fabulous; and slightly less crazy than everyone else that just wandered into my sad excuse for home. Save me?

Malcolm: Oh honey, if you only knew. But no, just count yourself lucky that people give enough of a shit about you to come by. Not all of us have that.

Serah: Uh, hello? Me, standing right in front of you, offering for you to stay and chill for a bit. There are literal actual shits being given right now. I mean, I might not know you, but fuck it, I don’t really know anyone really in this neighborhood, and if I’ve just gained some sort of posse we need a token gay guy. Malcolm: I’d take offense to that if it wasn’t so disastrously true. You all are in some serious need of my wisdom anyway, and this desperate bisexual vibe you’ve been giving off needs an actual direction. I have a friend of a friend that might be interested. Give me a minute. Serah: You know... I’d be offended too if ‘desperate’ wasn’t entirely accurate. I really need to get laid; it’s been a hard af week.

Serah: Oh... okay, wow. You’re pretty.

Serah: You wanna go to the Romance Festival with me? I know that’s forward as fuck, but I don’t know how to play coy, so. Tanvi: I kind of like the direct approach, honestly. Sure, I’ll go.

Serah: What is this, exactly? Tanvi: Idk, probably drugs. 

Tanvi: You are... pretty fucking hot though. Malcolm said you had this homeless, idgaf rocker chick-chic vibe going on, but it’s so much more than that. Serah: I’m smooth af, I know.

Tanvi: *chuckles as she gets her hands kissed* Sure, we’ll go with that.

She is a bit though, isn’t she? Haha. Then again, they were drinking romance drugs or whatever the fuck they ingested to get in the mood, so really it’s just like they were both roofied. Nice things to give to kids, there, EA.

One of my favorite things about festivals coming into town though is that all of the flowers and produce have regrown themselves and are able to be stolen harvested, which gives Serah a nice little boost to her wallet.

Which means she can get two more walls and an actual toilet! Yay!

She’s getting better at fishing too, which I’m glad for.

Oh! And look what she found! I wasn’t paying much attention to where she got it from because she was on a digging/fishing spree through the park and I didn’t notice it in her inventory until she came home, but I’m excited. I’ve never had a cow plant in any of my games before.

Eric: Hey, you look to be about my kid’s age; maybe you know him? His name is Blake.

See, and this is why we do not socialize with adults; not even when stopping by the vendors to get something to eat.

Serah: *nervous laugher* Uhhh, actually I’m home schooled, sir. So no; pretty sure I don’t know your kid.

Eric: Ah, well that’s okay. You know, me and my wife thought about home schooling our Blake, but then we realized we didn’t want to spend that much time with our kid. It’s gotta be hell on your parents, yeah? Always having you hanging around? Never having a break?

Serah: No offense, but you sound like a shit parent. Eric: That’s what the gremlins in our house say too, funny enough. Serah: Errrrrrrr....

Girl, just gtfo. Lol. 

Anyway, we give you this brief interlude while Lola crashes Serah’s pad again to give you... her garden! It’s getting bigger :)

Lola: Giiiiirl, I just had the best idea. Serah: What is it?

Lola: Camping trip partyyyyyyy!!!! You in????? Come on, tell me you’re in; it’s not like you have anything better to do; let’s be fair. 

Serah: Uh, aren’t ya’ll in school still? Lola: Seriously? We graduate in two days; that’s the whole reason I want to throw this! Like a ‘coming of age, one last time to get completely hammered and make bad decisions party.’

Lola: I know you didn’t go to school with us, but everyone loves you. Actually, everyone kind of loves you more than me.... so I’m gonna need you to make the call, k? Also btw I think everyone’s caught on to your lie of ‘just passing through’ since it’s been awhile and you’re not only still here, but still hanging out at this shit shack. I don’t think anyone cares though, so just call for me? Serah: .........Fuck it.

Serah: Malcolm? Grab everyone; we’re going camping this weekend.... Yes, there will be showers there, calm down. But also don’t bring hair gel; it’ll probably attract mosquitos or some shit. Also you’ve probably caught on to the fact that I’m homeless by now, so can you bring a tent? I’m poor af, clearly.

And so they all went camping, and had a pretty good time. The truth did eventually come out to all of them though, and everyone promised not to say anything. Even though they were all about to become adults soon and it probably did not matter as much after that, Serah still worried that should her parent’s find her, even as an adult, that they’d drag her back home by her hair.

Anyway, they not only had the good, wholesome kind of fun....

...But they also had the decidedly less wholesome kind as well.

(I think Malcolm had one too many to drink, haha).

Lola: Sooo... you gonna do it this weekend or not? Serah: Do what?

Lola: Make it official with Tanvi, obviously. You’re blind as hell if you haven’t noticed that she’s been waiting. Serah: Wait, seriously?

Serah: I mean, you really think I should? I live in a shack and I garden for a living; that’s not exactly setting her up for an adulthood filled with glamour. Lola: You idiot, she doesn’t care about that. Just go talk to her.

Serah: So you know you’re like... so pretty, right? And down to earth, and... and a whole lot of other stuff that I don’t want to list out cause I’m gonna sound stupid.

Serah: But do you think you maybe.... wanna be my girlfriend? I know I’ve got a shit future ahead of me, being uneducated and all, but I’m hoping that’s not something you really care about right now because if you do I don’t got a Plan B, so.

Tanvi: *laughs softly* You idiot, I don’t care at all about that. Of course I’ll be your girlfriend.

(Well, Lola hit it right on the money, didn’t she?)

Awww :)

Of course they gotta take that obligatory FB photo so they can update their relationship status with a pic, lmao.

Serah: Consummate the relationship with me? Tanvi: I thought you’d never ask.

Right when she got home she aged up too! Welcome to Young Adulthood, Serah; hopefully it’s more stable than your teenage years.

Also all that fishing and gathering on the trip allotted her the bare necessities, yay!

...But oh, honey, I think it’s time to hit the gym. lol.

TBC....

[terryblount]

Below – Review

It seems our industry is going through a phase lately where gamers really place value on skill. New speedrunning videos flood my YouTube feed, 16-bit games are making a comeback, and esports champions are regarded as gods in some circles. Then there is also the surge of new rogue-lites on Steam to consider.

It is in this latter category that the latest release by Capybara Games, named Below, wants to make its mark. On paper, Below has the makings of a classic, bona fide rogue-lite. It features uncomplicated yet challenging gameplay, a robust crafting and combat system, and, of course, the infamous ‘permadeath’ (dying marks the end of your progress).

In other words, the game could have been endlessly rewarding to observant and cautious players, and relentlessly punishing to reckless ones. Yet, after repeatedly making my way through the labyrinthine caverns that make up Below’s setting, I found myself reluctantly admitting that I was not having fun.

Can you spot the character? I swear I did not use Ancel to zoom out

Instead of coaxing me into that ‘just one more time’ stupor that is the privilege of this genre, the overall experience just made me yearn to put my controller down. The gameplay is fun, the aesthetics are brilliant, and the world begs to be explored. However, the game’s slow pacing combined with repetitive gameplay inevitably spilled over into monotony.

Stories around the campfire

From the opening mini-cinematic, Below shows that it embraces minimalism. The story, the environments, and the audio-visual style only reveal what is absolutely necessary, which means that it is up to the player to figure things out. It is actually a very effective way of getting your imagination deeply involved in the gameplay.

As a result, Below manages to be every bit as immersive as games that are far more elaborate in their execution. The game slowly opens with what at first glance appears to be a vast, starry sky until I realized that I was actually looking at an ocean. Once the camera started its slow, downward zoom, the white dot in the middle of the screen turned out to be a tiny ship sailing across the stormy waters. It was heading for an ominous-looking island.

The tiny ship eventually reached the shoreline, and an equally small figure with a sword and shield disembarked, waiting for me to take control. I guess I am a knight then? It is hard to tell because the game’s isometrically-angled camera is placed at a considerable distance. Even playing on a 30 inch screen (with my glasses on), I struggled to make out exactly what I am.

Furthermore, the game doesn’t provide an objective, dialogue or button prompts, and pulling up the ‘map’ button just displays a little circle attached to two lines. Throwing caution to the wind, I set off anyway and eventually reached a dead camp fire. Can I light it? Yes, and activating the blazing hearth opens two symbols.

Lighting the camp fire on the shore

One symbol is inactive for now, while the other opens an inventory of sorts with blank slots. Aha! I think I just found what must be my crafting roster. After leaving the fire I did indeed discover various foodstuffs, minerals and pieces of wood that can be combined into things like arrows, powders, or even caltrops.

I also stumbled upon other menus where I can swap between secondary weapons like a hammer or a bow, and another menu which indicates what keys or armor I am carrying. More exploring also yielded a lantern which uses little diamond shaped shards as fuel. When its beam is concentrated, the lantern can even open magical, rune-covered doors.

Let there be light – opening a door with the lantern.

So far, so good. The exploration was clearly rewarding, and the controls are snappy and intuitive. I think I am now ready to proceed through the huge door I just opened with my lantern to where the real game begins. What happens on the shore of the island is basically just to prepare the player for the depths that are to come.

Into the abyss

Whereas the island’s surface hosts a busy, hectic atmosphere that just makes you want to take cover, the underground, where 95% of the game takes place, is wholly different.  Down here, the game adopts a dark, quiet and foreboding tone. Exploring on land was nothing compared to how vulnerable and isolated I suddenly felt.

Perhaps my map now has an objective? Nope, but at least I know the circle or square represents a room, and the lines signify the routes connected to it. Saving my lantern for later, I pull out a torch and begin to wade cautiously through the foggy darkness. I appear to be in a cavern of some sort since I hear echoing drops of water trickling in the dark.

Never mind finding your way, where the hell is the character!?

When I saw the dark, shadowy figure scuttle toward me, I realized I was about to experience the game’s combat. It moves too fast to make out what is on the attack, but my sword is ready. I block with my shield and slash at the shadowy foe. It proves no match for my little explorer, and I stash away the lantern shard that the creature drops after it dies.

After searching the whole area, I proceed to the next, randomly-generated room to find more enemies for the picking, along with more loot to gather. I also make short work of this lot since I am really getting the hang of the engaging combat mechanics. Before I know it, a number 2 slowly appears at the top of the screen to inform me I have descended to the second level. Nice.

Sadly, the spell would be broken around level 3. Here I faced slightly larger versions of the shadow creatures, but using my explosive arrows ensured that they met the same fate as their lesser counterparts. It was also at this point that I began to hear a resonating bass note for the first time, and two symbols resembling a stomach and a drop of water pulsed in the upper corner of the screen.

Guess that means I am hungry and thirsty. No problem, since I have a steak stashed away, and there happens to be a drinking puddle to my left. After gaining some sustenance, I noticed a weird rock jutting out the ground and decided to inspect it. I got close… and WHAM!! I got killed instantly by what now revealed itself as a spike trap.

Don’t worry. This is a part of the level. I did not die this many times!

I was still sitting with my mouth agape when the next ship was already en route to the island. Only this time, the ruins of the ship on my first try was lying in the shallows, and the knight/hero looks a little different. I later found out I could even get most of my stuff from the corpse off the guy I just strolled face first into the spikes.

Hey, this is a rogue-lite. You have to ‘git gud.’ I said a word that starts with ‘f’ and rhymes with ‘luck’, and started over.

 Enjoy it while it lasts

It was round about here that I already started liking Below a bit less. It took quite some time to reach the spikes bit since this game’s style really encourages the player to explore and take their time. However, to do ALL of this again (especially without any immediate sense of danger) brought on the first feelings of boredom.

Now factor in how long it takes to get to, say, level 16 only to die of another inconspicuously placed trap and you can imagine why I said enough is enough. By the umpteenth time you pull up on that shore, it will become incrementally difficult to stay excited and engaged in the gameplay.

At least the repetitiveness is mitigated somewhat by ‘The Pocket’ which is an area accessible through a portal activated at the little camp fires. It acts like a bank in which you can permanently stash any kind of supply and it remains untouched upon your death.

You can also toss 25 gems into said camp fire turning the flames blue on the later levels. This then acts as a shortcut, so when your new little wanderer pulls up on shore, they can fast travel to this point and thus cutting out quite a bit of the (re)grind.

Most unfortunately, the developers thought it wise to only allow this once. If you happen to die after teleporting through the flames (without making a new shortcut), then you lose the checkpoint. This means you are stuck right at the beginning of the game with no supplies or gems, and your previous wanderer’s corpse might be 10 floors down along with the lantern.

See the little white skeleton? That was my previous attempt

Also, as a teenager my mother used to accuse me of eating her out of the house, but this little fellow would put even my pubescent metabolism to shame. I often lost substantial progress not due to deadly traps or enemies, but starvation. One of the most frequent sounds the player will hear is that ominous bass tone signifying thirst or that their tummy is rumbling.

Perhaps you are playing as a hobbit, which would explain why the character is so small and constantly getting peckish. Either way, if the player is caught without food, the only way to avoid death by lack of num-num is by means of tedious backtracking looking for mice, bats and snakes to kill. Is this anyone’s idea of a thrilling quest?

Sad but true

I can only tell myself so many times that this game is a rogue-lite and that I should learn from my mistakes. A game with a more laid-back pacing and insta-kill traps is simply not built for this kind of repetition. There are far better methods of creating a sense of challenge or danger that do not rely upon excessive farming for supplies, or replaying large portions of the levels.

What makes the state of Below so tragic is that it has such solid gameplay and aesthetics. Yes, you might be viewing the action from afar, but the withdrawn perspective of the camera really creates a sense that you are this tiny, exposed figure in an enormous space.

For the same reason, Below also boasts exquisite sound design. The deep, guttural background effect combined with realistic reverberation enhances a sense of depth for the in-game environments. The experience is a testimony to the fact that immersion is a product of atmosphere, and not necessarily the GPU-heavy special effects that AAA games so eagerly use.

Made it to the next level… again

I suspect that the developers wanted to combine the resource gathering of a survival game with the combat mechanics of a rogue-lite. As such, their game never really commits to either genre, and I feel like they have produced a game that has something of an identity crisis. What they have come up with feels too much like a house of cards – the whole structure just ends up crashing down due to a few small but crucial issues with the cards at the foundations.

I really hate to say this, especially since Below is an indie game, but I cannot recommend this one. The developers have stepped into the rookie trap of confusing the line between ‘challenging’ and ‘unfairly hard,’ which seems to happen one too many times nowadays. When placed next to other, more refined attempts with similar ambitions, Below just cannot hold up.

Great visual design

Enthralling audio design

Level design

Exploration

Pacing too slow

Single use shortcuts

Instant death traps

Periodic crashes

Survival mechanics

Lantern retrieval

Playtime: 37 hours total. To complete all 20 levels of the game

Computer Specs: Windows 10 64-bit computer using GTX 1070, i5 4690K, 16GB RAM – Played with Xbox One Controller

Below – Review published first on https://touchgen.tumblr.com/