#and by everyone i mean my old assheads

[backgammon-cat]

hello everyone or whatevr is scrolling through the assassins tag this day uhhh.

i used to be “hey-kid-failed-your-test” on here back in the 2021 ish revival of assassins see i dont even remember how long ago neither do i want to keep on remembering ahhahaha

basically i kind of did dumb stuff (kinda isnt the word more like i DID) and obssessed over people i was not supposed to. i dont follow that same mindset anymore cuz its dumb and stupid yknow so like,,, yeah

i’ve been kind of lurking and i thought maybe i could come back for my redemption arc. jokes maybe im just here to see my old shit and meet new people idek anymore 👍

oh and i’m a dude now names ezekiel but you can call me zeke

stupid doodle of me if you even care btw 👇

[donghyuwus]

boyfriend!jaemin

here he is my lovely people, the softest bf we have all been waiting for. this one was requested by someone but i like legit don't know who it was anymore and i have to scroll back so far and you guessed it, josie is too lazy. anyways i hope you enjoy and please request who should be next for the nct!bf series, right now there is no follow-up

sigh,, i already know i’m gonna spill all my uwus and love writing this

bcs it's na jaemin

and i am lowkey so unloyal but only for him

anyways my personal problems is not what we're here for today or you must be my therapist but i don't think you are so let's get started

first up be ready to be spoiled in so much and so much love

there won't be a day where you aren't getting love

unless you both get into an huge argument and shit but that's something for later

anyways as we all know jae is a huge flirt and if say huge, i mean HUGE

like he’ll win you over with his flirting and angel-like personality

but nah bitch, it won't stop there

even if you are in a relationship with him this asshead will still flirt so much with you and you're just like ??

nana: ‘is it just me or do you look extra stunning today?’

you: ‘nah, i-’

nana: ‘you know, we should date.’

you: ‘bitch we’ve been in a relationship for 2 years wdym we should date!?’

yea that

buys you unnecessary shit

like he’ll come home with 12 new plushies and you’re just like ??

brags about you towards everyone

legit EVERYONE

like jaemin being the angel he is he is helping and old lady cross the street and he’ll just suddenly start gushing about you towards this lady who just wants to reach the other side of the street

some of the members tease him about it

but it’s jaemin and they give up rather quickly bcs he just doesn’t give a fuck

compliments you 24/7

you could wear a trash bag and he would still think you are gorgeous 

has such big heart eyes for you

could just stare at you and you’ll be like whassup

and he just gives you one of those cheeky pick up lines

which results in u blushing

and him being proud bcs he did and bcs he loves seeing you being shy and blushy

he’ll bring you on those cute ass dates to the park/arcade/theme park/bowling centre

takes so many photos of you and has you as his home and lockscreen

is a fan of pda

likes to hold your hand a lot and if not has his arm around your waist or shoulder

you only have to breathe and he is already squealing and pinching your cheeks telling you to stop being cute

and you’re like ?? again

anyways i don't think there will be a lot of arguments 

and if there are some i don't think they’ll last long bcs he's a soft boy and he doesn't really like to fite

gives u his hoodies

u don't even have to ask, he already knows u want them

and he's lowkey a big fan of seeing you in his clothes

personally i think he's a big spoon with cuddles

but he could also very well be a switch, like i can see him being a little spoon as well

idk bitch, idk

what i do know is that cuddles with jaemin would be 1939192

like don't get me started

takes you out at very random hours just to talk or spend time with you

honestly it could be 4 am and he would call you telling you to come outside

he loves you so fucking much

its insane

please love him back just as much

and spoil him just as much

like this boi deserves the whole world and even more

he is so precious wow

josie not being soft for jaemin mission: failed

[fapangel]

10/4 is supposed to be the antifa/commie "revolution" go read some of their media about it. Shit is balls off the walls bugfuck sideways crazy.

... oh. I see. Their idea of a big secret revolution moment is to advertise it by waving signs about it on a Californian highway. Well, here’s my prediction: it’s going to be the same old bullshit as before, at worst, and at best, the FBI is going to be all over them like white on rice in a glass of milk on a paper plate in a snowstorm because they so helpfully telegraphed things ahead of time. If there’s one thing you should know about the FBI, they fucking watch everyone. Like those three clowns they literally gave FBI machine guns to shoot before arresting them? Or that kid they went out of their way to give a “bomb?” These people are too assheaded retarded to actually make or obtain the means, and too cowardly to actually go through with it, unless they’ve got some asshole right there prodding them on and handing them all sorts of toys. This is how ISIS prods people into actually committing attacks, so make no mistake - a lot of the people the FBI arrests are basically victims of entrapment, as their Dangerous Tendencies would’ve been nothing more than tough-guy internet retard shitposting without that acitve encouragement and enabling by some FBI agent looking to justify his paycheck. 

That’s not just an example of the lengths they go to but also something to contrast against their targeting of left-wing terrorists too - they’ve been up PETA’s ass for years, to say nothing of the Earth Liberation Front, and they even classified the fucking Juggalos as a “loosely affiliated gang.” The FBI is paranoid, thorough and omnipresent. So it’s no wonder that they’ve been on top of antifa for a while, or that they’re keeping close track of the Black Lives Matter movement. Black Lives Matter is a resurrection of the black nationalism movements of the 70s - right down to the openly Marxist nature of their rhetoric - so not only is this a continuation of an old battle for the FBI, but the continuation of the FBI’s anti-Communist activities, which date to Hoover (at least.) Trust me - they are absolutely, positively all over these people. 

And something else to know about the FBI? They may take a while to gather evidence and forces, but when they do strike, they fall on you like a goddamn thunderbolt. Years - sometimes decades - of investigation and infiltration will come down on these groups heads all at once, and it’ll be extremely thorough. 

Nobody gets away from the FBI. Not Capone, not Kwame and certainly not these clowns. (Unless they’re these clowns.)

[awesomethefinnishway-blog]

Finnish language lessons: Cursing

You may have already heard that the language in Finland is quite hard to master. It could be that you’re still not a pro in Finnish, but there’s always a surefire way to impress any Finns you might encounter on your journey in Finland, and that’s actually easy too. Just learn a few Finnish swear words - we love swearing, and we’re proud of our swear words!

So here’s a few ones you should remember in order to cuss like a true Finn!

“Vittu” is probably the most commonly used swear word, and that may be all thanks to how many uses there can be for one word. “Vittu” is literally a word for a woman’s private parts, but as it’s been misused probably for centuries, it’s lost its original meaning. As a swear word it’s a naughty one - at least as mean as “cunt” or “fuck”.

As for how it’s used, it can be used pretty much everywhere in a sentence. It’s usually used in a similar way as the English-speaking world uses fuck: it’s fucking annoying = “se on vitun ärsyttävää”, he’s one fuckface = “hän on kyllä yksi vittupää”, don’t start fucking with me = “älä ala minulle vittuilemaan”, etc. And the usage of the word “vittu” as a verb is pure gold. “Vitutus” is an emotional state that means you’re annoyed, pissed of, and generally just want everyone to fuck off and leave you alone. And if someone tell you that “vittu kun vituttaa” (= fuck how I feel fucking annoyed), you really better just take a few meter’s safe distance, because they’re truly really annoyed.

As for other Finnish curse words, you’re sure to encounter “perkele” somewhere. It’s the epitome of manly cursing in Finland and it’s usually said in a rasp, rather annoyed tone especially after downing a few beers or plain old Kossu (Koskenkorva, a highly popular spirit).  While this word too has pretty much lost it’s original meaning, perkele is actually the name of old Finnish god of thunder. So yeah, some heavy metal-believable cursing going on right here.

“Perse” is another popular one. It means ass and it can be nicely used as a compliment too. “Vitsi mikä perse” = oh my what an ass, translates to a negative-sounding sentence, but is actually a complementary one. It still sounds crude though, so you shouldn’t really say it unless you’re ready to face the concequence of sounding like a jerk. Another interesting fact about this curse word is that you can’t really use it as slur by itself: it doesn’t translate well if you try to say “he’s such an ass” just as “hän on kyllä yksi perse”. You better at least call them “persepää” (= asshead), if you want to sound convincing.

And if “vittu kun vituttaa” doesn’t still just cut it how pissed off you are, remember you can always impress everyone (and maybe scare them off too) by saying “vittu perkele saatana” (= satan) in a row. Usually when someone uses all three of these together, it means something’s really gone awry. And don’t ask me why we use satan as a curse word - it just really seems Finns are very ungodly people in all areas of life, using religious stuff as curse words and so on.

So here are a few basic ones to get you going - good luck on your journey of cursing and cussing!