#and brevity is not my strong suit

[seraphont]

I assume given the caption of your most recent comic that you don’t plan on including any additional disassembly drones in your au. What do you think the in universe explanation is for N, V and J being the only ones left? Like were all the others taken out by sentinels? Did they run out of worker drones to prey on and over heat? Did some also rebel and make it off world?

yap sesh below, couple of things that are in my brain about the other dd's based off of canon for my au:

there were clones of the most 'efficient' drones, ergo I think these are just cyns favourites (V, N, and J) which are deactive until its predecessor kicks the bucket. the only ones to retain their personality (and perhaps a semblance of morality)

it's very likely the other DD's are simply running on bloodlust and orders, them having a lack of 'personality' and all, might be a nod to them just being blankslates, constantly in huntmode.

the diassembly drones were likely only deployed to areas surounding Cabin Fever Labs to infilitrate and clear out WD's. im assuming this is one of the sparse hubs of human bases (and in turn worker bases), so DD's werent wide-spread across the planet. Cyn was also beelining for the pit that lead straight to the core.

Highkey I think our squad retaining their personalities (no matter how twisted they got from trauma), made them less efficient than their blankslate counterparts, maybe a reason why they showed up late to the lab parties. that or they were just the focus group for making Spires (we still dont have an in canon reason for why these were important to construct).

from the looks of it, the other DD's had found Camp Cabin Fever long before our idiot squad did, there was a pile up of bodies afterall. I doubt these ones had clones. and if we're going off of the alphabet naming scheme, theres not many DD's left from this.

Im sure theres a spare feral DD out there, perhaps they'll die from overheating, too much of a tan from the sun, or just shutdown from lack of commands on the solver's defeat. either way, they're sparse or have died out. though its fun to think about if they can regain a semblance of their former selves again, if theyre fixable.

sidenote jokingly, I like to think of our DD's as the personality hires.

[stagefoureddiediaz]

honestly maybe it's just me but buck is literally repeating the same steps as with natalia and taylor as with tommy. they meet, he has a crush, go on a date, it's awful and the date leaves, they then come back, then try for real. Like it sounds like even though Buck is off the hamster wheel in regards to his sexuality he very much is still on the hamster wheel when it comes to repetitive mistakes when it comes to his relationships.

Hey Nonnie

I woudn't say that at all. Yes of course there are some similarities - there always will be - between Buck dating Tommy and the Buck who dated Taylor or Natalia. But the reality is they are worlds apart.

For starters Tommy didn't leave because the date was awful, he left to give Buck some space to do a bit more figuring out - he said so himself that his what he was doing. He chose to leave the ball in Bucks court, understanding this was a big new thing for him and that it wouldn't be right to continue anything until Buck was ready. Buck then contacted him when he was and they met up and decided mutually to give things ago.

This is very different to both Taylor and Natalia - both of whom left after something big had happened in Bucks life (Eddie being shot and Kameron popping up out of seemingly nowhere) and then they were the ones to come back - to chase after Buck.

Look we can have whole conversations about the chasing being chased aspect of things but the long and short of it is That both Taylor and (to a lesser extent) Natalia, Ali and Abby chased Buck in one way or another and when it suited them. Tommy has never chased Buck - he shot his shot, sure, made his interest known, but he hasn't once chased Buck. Buck has always mistaken things for him doing the chasing (he is an very unreliable narrator) becuse he gets invested fast and so pursues things. His mistake is moving to fast - falling to quickly for people.

This is the major fundamental difference with Tommy, who is older and wiser and settled with who he is and what he wants. He also has the understanding of being queer and coming out later in life - of discovering that part of yourself that has been hidden and the fact it might take Buck a minute to figure out things.

The other big thing for me is the level of honest Buck is being here - this isn't something we've seen before in this way. He has been completely up front with Tommy when it has been important for him to be so (I would argue he did do the same for Natalia but that he was more forced into it by circumstance). That coffee they had was a very very clear example of that, he sat down, appologised and laid his cards out on the table. He's told the two most important people in his life that he's bi and interested in Tommy and yes maybe going to a wedding is a bit fast, but he also knows most of the people there so he's not walking in to a big unknown in t hat respect and he has a lot of goodwill with the firefam at this moment after flying them to the curise ship so they could rescue Athena and Bobby.

In all honesty I'm far more circumspect about Natalias behaviour as well - far more than a large portion of fandom was towards her. Did I like her as a character or for Buck, No I didn't, but she also didn't do all that much wrong in my eyes, her wanting to take a minute when presented with all that Bucks life is, to think things through before jumping into something is perfectly acceptable and healthy behaviour. The reality is that she was more interested in Bucks death than she was in his life and thats probably what brought her back - that itching need to know more about his death and what it was like.

But she came into his life when he was in a rough place mentally and it was never going to go well for that reason alone. All of Bucks girlfriends have that in common - they met him on the job and then come inot his life when he is having some form of internal crisis. Abby when he had just lost his first person on the job - making him emotionally vulnerable. Ali when he's accepted his relationship with Abby wasn't going anywhere a new guy had just started at work (yes they were getting on by this point but it is still new and an unknown) and his sister had just come back into his life after having had no contact for several years - and he knows she's in a fragile place. Taylor messes hm around but when she comes back into his life and wants to date him - Eddie has just been shot and he's looking after Christopher - he's massively emotionally compromised. None of these are good times to start a romantic relationship.

That isn't the case with Tommy - Bucks actually in a pretty decent place - yes the whole discovering he's queer could be argued as making him emotionally compromised, but he's being given the grace to do things at his own pace - in a healthy way - Tommy is letting Buck dictate the pace they go at.

We also have to remember that we are in a tv show - every single character who isn't a main (or to a certain extent a recurring) is there to act as a storytelling vehicle for one of the mains - their character traits are always going to be those which help get a main character from A to B, to move the story along and to make sure our mains learn something about themselves and their fellow mains along the way.

Abby was about getting Buck from being a bit of a clueless player into a long term (ish) relationship - about growing him out of his jock ways and getting him (and us) to recognise that he isn't a player that he wants real love and a long term relationship. Ali was about him getting over his first big disappointment - about getting hm to move on and about getting him his own place to exist. Taylor was about learning what love didn't look like, about how to treat others and showing him what he wasn't looking for and teaching him not to compromise on his morals. Natalia was all about Buck reconciling himself with his death and rebirth and as soon as he had done that, she was gone.

Tommy is about Buck discovering his queer identity, having a safe space to explore that and about getting him ready for Eddie - its why Tommy is soooo similar to Eddie - Buck will come out of this relationship (whatever form it takes) understanding who he is, and recognising what he wants is what he already almost has - Eddie.

Tommy is also about helping manoeuvre Eddie into questioning himself - another reason why he is so similar to Eddie - Eddie needed to see a gay version of himself - and with Buck to actually start thinking about himself and who he is and what he wants.

So all this to say that Nonnie - Buck has very much got off that hamster wheel and he is very much not making the same mistakes over again. I'm very excited to see how it continues to play out and I'm overjoyed with how the show is handling telling this story.

[djarins-cyare]

So it’s been a year…

One year since Disney released episode 1 season 3 of The Mandalorian

One year since I published chapter 1 of Be-All And Endor

I don’t really remember much of the first 20 weeks of that year, just that it was a flurry of proofreading and finalising and uploading (the hard parts) and comment reading and new friend making and massively appreciating (the wonderful parts).

Proofing and publishing 2 chapters a week with average lengths of around 10k words was exhausting. But for the first 8 of those weeks I had Din Djarin on the screen (intermittently *ahem* but this isn’t a post about the quality of s3) and for the rest of the year I had my readers leaving comments and sending messages, and it was… overwhelmingly the best year of my life.

I mean that. The best year. Ever. Because of you. Any of you, all of you, if you’ve ever even just clicked on my fic and given it chance, you’ve raised the hits on it. Even seeing that metric tick up has made me so thankful.

Because I didn’t think I could write. I always wanted to be an author but never believed in myself.

I did an English degree with writing in mind, but told myself nobody ever does anything with an English degree. I took creative writing modules, and when the published author who ran the class gave me scathing feedback, my dream fully died. I got an okay grade, hardly anything to be proud of, and I graduated and went to work in another industry.

I suffered from clinical depression.

One day many years later, I found a favourite author online and messaged him to ask when his fourth novel in a series was being published, and (emboldened by the anonymity of being online) cheekily offered to proofread it for him. Except he took me seriously and sent me the prologue to see what I could do. Like, for a real book you can buy on Amazon. After feeling sick for two whole days I went all Autistic Obsession on it and sent him back the most thoroughly proofed bit of writing anyone had ever seen. And I got the job. (I say ‘job’, I’d volunteered for free in exchange for the privilege of reading it in advance, so I can only ever call it semi-professional since I didn’t earn from it).

This, amongst other things, lifted me from my depression. I came off the pills and felt happier, more creative. Once the proofing was completed, the author encouraged me to write my own stuff, but whilst I’d gained some confidence… my brain was empty. I had no clamouring stories to get down on the page, no gems ready to polish.

Then in summer 2021, a friend sat me down and showed me the first 3 episodes of the Mandalorian. And my brain chemistry was instantly altered. I binge-watched the first two seasons, by the end of which I was unequivocally in love with Din Djarin, and then I binge-watched them again.

Around that time, I moved to a different country. Well, Wales is still the UK, but it’s a different country to England, and I was now 170 miles away from my friends. I went because as a single woman on a middling salary, London is too expensive to live in and having rid myself of an overbearing long term relationship, I was NOT keen to get into another one just to pay the bills. The pandemic meant I could work remotely, so I upped sticks and moved to Cardiff, resolving to visit my office in London (and my friends) once a month. It’s 2 hours by train, totally doable.

So what to do with all the spare time I suddenly had?

By Easter 2022 I’d started writing. 9 months later (yes, it’s my actual baby), Be-All And Endor was complete and I began publishing alongside season 3’s release.

Now… it has over 62.k views and 1.2k kudos 🥹🤯

Did I think it would be this popular? No way. I can’t even believe it now. I still see SO much wrong with it, which is why I’m still proofreading and editing it.

A professional proofread/edit takes a long time, and if you’re wondering what I’m doing to it, it involves the following:

Checking for things like clichés, non-inclusive language

Checking all adverbs to see if a better word can be used (e.g. ‘bellows’ instead of ‘shouts loudly’… adverbs usually end in -ly and it’s not good to overuse them)

Rephrasing any passive sentences (simply put: ‘the ship is flown by Din’ is passive; ‘Din flies the ship’ is active)

Reducing average sentence length (shorter sentences are easier to read)

Going through every single damn polysyllabic word (e.g. anything that has more than 3-syllables) and seeing if a shorter synonym can be found (this helps the rhythm, as too many long words slows things down and can make readers stumble… and I use them a lot 😖)

Checking the 50 most frequently used words and seeing if I can find synonyms for those (helps give more variety in the language)

Ensuring Din’s name isn’t overused or underused, and adding epithets (e.g. ‘the hunter’ or ‘your Mandalorian’) where it’s overused but it’s too confusing to just say ‘he’/‘him’

These are the big things, but there’s more too - I’m streamlining decisions I made to use certain phrasings throughout; tweaking Din’s word choice here and there to ensure his voice is captured the best way possible; revamping some of the photos. And with all the tiny tweaks, it’s slowly padding things out too… when publishing was done it was 393k, now it’s 403k, although it’s not extra content as such, just better described.

I’m up to chapter 13 so far, and I’ll probably be doing this for another 2 years to get through all 40, because (a) I want to write other things too so that slows down the proofing, and (b) I so badly want to be proud of this project… everyone’s telling me I should be, and I am in a way… but it’s more gratitude to others than pride in myself… and I feel like if I get this proofing done and finally have a story I’m truly happy with, I can at last let myself be proud of what I achieved here.

I confess, I’m so envious of those who can post something without obsessing over it. I know it’s a facet of my autism, and I’ve long since accepted that my neurodivergent brain will not let me be cool about things other people are cool about. If I’ve learned anything, it’s that I should turn it to my advantage, so okay… I’m gonna make this fic the same quality as a published book on your bookshelf. And meanwhile I’m gonna enjoy and love all the fics that people can write and publish with far greater speed than I can, because the greatest thing about this fandom is that every contribution is worthy of appreciation, no matter the author’s experience or writing method. Quality fic isn’t synonymous with proofreading, and I hope it’s clear that I’m describing my obsession with perfecting my own writing, not other people’s. I’ve read so many amazing authors on here, and I want them all to know how much I love their work (any recs are from the bottom of my heart).

So anyway, this long and rambling post has turned into something unintended… I guess you now have some insight into my mind and the origins of Be-All And Endor and the future of it. Not what I meant to do, but I’ll leave it in for context.

Because the real reason I started writing this diatribe was because I wanted to express my true and undying gratitude to everyone who has ever read, commented, or left kudos on my fic over on AO3, and/or messaged me, followed me, interacted with me, or reblogged my masterlist here on tumblr 🧡💚

I know I am insanely lucky to have received the level of support I have, and I don’t take that for granted at all. I want to give back to this fandom, and I love reading and reccing other people’s fics, meeting new moots, and hopefully soon I’ll be publishing new fics for you all to read too. Fresh material is percolating, so it won’t be too long now.

So thank you to everyone who reads this post, you’re the absolute best and I love you more than I have the vocabulary to describe. Please accept a grateful forehead kiss instead 💋

[topnotchquark]

I am new to motogp, but what the fuck is the deal with Uccio and the rosquez drama in 2015.

My brother in Christ are u stupid? Why don't you tell Vale to put all his stamina and mental games on f.ing Lorenze, the actual threat to the 10th? You could scheme the divorce in 2016 or sth you stupid Ipad stand!

Oh my god! An opportunity to analyse Uccio! Persona non grata and public enemy number 1 on motogpblr (btw, are there any Uccio shooters on Tumblr? My inbox is a safe space, I wanna hear your side of the story).

There is no way for me to know for a fact why Uccio ended up being the first domino to fall that led to Sepang 2015 but I did look around to see if I could find a bit more about the relationship between Vale and Uccio.

These two go all the way back to the crib, literally. Uccio mentioned in an interview that Tavullia is a small town and they were only a few months apart in age so they ended up at the only day care in the town together.

Uccio has been called a bumbling fool and a freeloader and what not (look at this post openly roasting him for being Vale's Lackey) and despite my dislike of him I won't do the same (for once lol). Vale shot to stardom at a young age doing the death sport that required him to travel extensively. What better way to feel grounded than to have your childhood friend near you at all times (the fact that Vale didn't leave Tavullia for flashier places like Monaco or wtv has been reiterated in so much writing about him, and Uccio has said the same). There is definitely an element of familiarity and comfort that both Vale and Uccio seek from each other. Uccio mentioned that they would come back from a weekend of racing, put down their suitcases and immediately get on the phone with each other, which, teenage bestie-ism is such a force lol it could power cities if harnessed.

Anyway, back to racing. The consensus is that Vale didn't have the best rivals in Biaggi and Gibernau, they were inconsistent and susceptible to mind games. Vale enjoyed the initial years of his career as an untouchable, peerless talent. And then..... the winds changed direction :)

Vale was 36 in 2015, most pro athletes are considered done and dusted at that age. He had been putting his body through years of premier class motorcycle racing. Add to that how bad the Ducati years had been and just, so much life had happened. I don't want to talk about Sic's death, but that too and while racing at that. Vale had already started working on the academy (Franky was signed in 2013 afaik). Vale had moved on from the glittering, ebullient, darling of every circuit personality. Imo choosing to be a mentor and doing that well is among the most impressive things Vale has done but when you mentally cross the rubicon to accept your youth is decidedly over, it changes things. For starters, it's a real question of whether you've already chosen to hang your boots. What I'm trying to say is, a lot was at stake in 2015 for Vale. The kind of, calm and bemused, quietly malicious as and when required public persona that Vale has honed over the years needs the solid bedrock of consistent winning to seem graceful. It wasn't just a championship at this point, it was a question of pride and cementing your legacy and being the architect of how the world perceives you when the odds have been stacked against you for a while.

Back to Uccio. He simply didn't trust or like Marc. Or anyone who was on the racetrack at the same time as Vale (he didn't even spare sweet nothings for Viñales). I have no concrete theory for said distrust short of just saying Uccio is a bit of a slimy character (this interview of Uccio when he's doing his best impersonation of henchman from an old Hollywood western). Uccio wasn't even happy when Marc made the infamous visit to the ranch in winter of 2014. Guess the whole "Marc is helping Jorge win" thing was Uccio's attempt at reminding Vale of his ruthless nature that he thought Vale was finding hard to tap into (Vale did say Marc was an updated model of him). A friend once said that a lot of time public facing figures aren't as cruel or rancid in their interpretation of the world as much as the followers of said people. So Uccio started talking shit and given the circumstances of 2015, it made an impact.

Ultimately the odds were stacked high and Vale made a mistake. I suppose Vale knows a thing or two about how pressure can make someone succumb to errors :)

So that's my take on the whole deal. Uccio, croney par excellence, used Vale's desperate title bid in 2015 to purge some of his misplaced blood lust. He made Marc his target because according to him the young ones on the grid were nothing but a nuisance. Vale fucked up and let it drive his paranoia and made a big fucking mistake.

[sailforvalinor]

Doctor Who, chocolate

-Rain

Rose had only been fiddling about with her phone for a few minutes when the Doctor ran back in through the TARDIS’s doors, throwing his coat over a railing, grabbed her hand palm-up, and haphazardly slapped a stack of Cadbury’s chocolate bars in her hand, saying, “Alright, there we go!”

“Wait, so you’re telling me this mysterious, super important errand you had to go on was a five minute dash to the convenience store for Caramellos?” Rose asked incredulously.

“Well, you were saying how much you were dying for one the other day, so…” the Doctor said, clearly trying to be nonchalant, but coming off a bit more schoolboyish, fiddling with the TARDIS’s console with—though Rose wasn’t quite certain, as the lighting was so funny—slightly redder cheeks than usual.

“Doctor,” Rose began suspiciously, giving him a sly look, “did you remember that today was Valentine’s Day back home?”

“What?—is it?—hasn’t the slightest—ah, Saint Valentine, what a bloke—got mistaken for him on the streets of Rome once, got arrested and everything—the state of Roman jails, honestly—“

[tempests-bards-and-birds]

Yesss @ your tags on the Childe post. I want to add that even if someone is shaped by trauma/an extreme upbringing, as he very well may have been, unless someone is insane or having an episode of something their actions are still them. It makes his behaviour more sympathetic but (or rather AND) he still has agency over his actions.

I feel like ~the discourse~ can be terrible at handling this sort of character because it can suck at acknowledging the uglier side of mental illness and neurodivergence- the way that hurt people hurt people- with nuance in general. So he has to be sorted into Traumatised(TM) and therefore forgivable or Irredeemable(TM) and can't be sympathised with at all.

yeah! childe is, pretty obviously, traumatised (and as you said may or may not have had an extreme upbringing we don't really know yet iirc but it could be implied), but i feel like that makes it even more important to acknowledge that, as you said, his actions are still his, because i feel like people have this tendency to look at a character and then either decide that everything they ever do even slightly wrong is completely justified and forgivable because they're traumatised or label them as an irredeemable monster and disregard the aspect of it that stems from the fact that they themselves have been deeply hurt because that means that they can't continue to view that character as having absolutely no humanity anymore.

as you mentioned, i think the main issue with the discourse is that people seem to have such a hard time reconciling the fact that someone can be shaped by trauma and their upbringing and still be aware of their actions and the consequences of those actions, and then because of that they end up sliding to one of the two extremes with their interpretation of the character and like. they can be traumatised and shaped by that trauma and still have their actions be Them. they're not being controlled by some Ghost Trauma Force or anything lol (unless as you said they are insane or having an episode of something but that's a different topic) they are Choosing to do those things and therefore have accountability for those actions; this also means, however, that it would be literally impossible for every action they take to come from a place of pure evil - people can, in fact, exist in shades of grey in terms of morality (shocking, i know)

[anistarrose]

finishing up a one-shot that's barreling rapidly towards 10k and yet it doesn't feel 10k in scope. there's no cosmic scale to it or anything. the characters were just having a good time together. hanging out and savoring the moment. who was I to put a stop to that. who was I to shoot down family bonding

[elamimax]

Everything is about sex, except sex, which is about power.

Everything is about transitioning, except transitioning, which is about freedom.

Everything is about politics, except politics, which seems to be about milkshakes for some reason.

[rambleonwaywardson]

Find the word

Thanks @alienoresimagines for tagging me! I'm trying to be more active/engaged on this site so this is fun!

Rules: Share snippets of your work containing each of the words the previous poster selected for you (optional addition: if you can't find the word in your WIPs, or you simply don't have any WIPs, you can just write a sentence around the word).

My words: Blue, gentle, tight, music and rustle

Your words: Read, breath, cling, wonder, sweet

Blue

"Within 24 hours, anyone could be doing just about anything on our peculiar little green and blue planet. When I sleep, someone else is taking their morning jog, and if that jog takes 20 minutes, then that person still has 1,420 minutes to fill. And if I sleep the entire time that person jogs, plus another 5 hours, that leaves me with 67,200 seconds in my day. Each of those seconds, at this moment, is dedicated to keeping you alive." -- From a future astronaut AU chapter

Gentle

"As friends, they share a lot of physical touch. Attached at the hip, everyone says. But the day Bucky reaches out and holds Gale's hand is different. Gentle, calloused fingers closing over Gale's own. Gale freezes. Bucky freezes. They're both looking straight ahead, anywhere but at each other. Bucky starts to pull his hand away but Gale grasps on tight and won't let him go. And then both of their hands soften in each other's, linked together like they were always meant to be that way." -- A vague idea I have for something in my WIPs but it doesn't have a home yet

Tight

"Gale wants to cry for everything he’s lost. All the good men who never made it home. He wants to cry for the innocent boy he once was, for the little pieces of dignity and sanity that were stripped painfully away, healed over with scar tissue that’s still tight and raw. He wants to cry for all of it. But he won’t. He draws in shaky breaths, wills his body to let go of the tension wracking his bones." -- From I'll Keep You Warm

Music

"When Gale reenters their dorm room, classic rock is playing loudly over a speaker that must be Bucky's, and the gangly mess of a boy slated to be his roommate is precariously balancing on his desk to hang up a poster. Gale calls his name over the music, but when Bucky turns to look at him, all blue eyes and dark hair and an excited grin, suddenly he forgets how to breathe." -- from a prologue of the astronaut AU

Rustle

“There’s a quiet sort of clamor around Mission Control, papers rustling and coffee makers gurgling and men and women hustling about as flight controllers prepare themselves for every possible outcome of today.” -- also from the astronaut AU

I still don't know too many people on here and not sure who's already been tagged. @middlingmay @joeyalohadream @r-catsby @avonne-writes @mercy67 if you want to and anyone else who wants to share!

[notajoinerofthings]

reached the "i hate absolutely everything about this" stage of writing once again, so it's really time to wrap this up

[rad-claid-plaid]

how do i support other women despise other women hurting me and each others? women hate women, my mother choose dick over her daughter, girls at school bully me and men think they better than women and women help men hurting women. i don't know how to trust other women.

I understand, anon. I've had a lot of women and girls throughout my life hurt me, too. It's especially damaging when other women hurt you on behalf of men. Peers, friends, mentors, relatives, doctors, strangers. You might think, "I thought we were on the same side?" Especially when they're ones who are supposed to protect you, like mothers or sisters or friends. And it's so hard to wrap your head around (at least in my experience)

I think that realizing that having a goal of liberation of ALL women, not just the feminist ones or the supportive ones, was very important for me. It includes women who don't like you, it includes women you might hate. A lot of women support and enforce patriarchal ideas on other women, consciously or unconsciously, both as a way to try to prop themselves up in the eyes of men, and also "keeping them in line". Whether they acknowledge it or not, many tenets of radical feminism are threatening to the status quo, and therefore the regular lives of everyday women (and of course every man and the power they hold). Think about how much they defend shaving and makeup and heels, tooth and nail. If we collectively raised consciousness of women everywhere about these patriarchal standards, what's next? Turning on her husband, her father, her boss? It crumbles the facade. And with that, the women who are surrounded by men face immense backlash because even an ounce of feminism in a woman they have wrapped around their fingers is dangerous to them. And so, often without realizing it, women will enforce the same standards they themselves are held to. They're not responsible for the standards or the main source of enforcement, men are, but they still have a hand in it.

I think when women tear each other down in relation to men, if a woman tears you down with the shadow of patriarchy puppeting her hands, she might not see it or realize the core implications of her actions. Sure, in her mind she might just be mean to some random girl. It might bring her up a rung on the ladder in the eyes of an individual man or two, but in the grand scheme she's just making less work for the men to do in their enforcement. This is the sort of patriarchy fueled hate, where men need women to turn on each other to keep them distracted from the real problem.

I know I'm speaking about this very broadly. I have a lot of jumbled thoughts on this.

I think that another thing to keep in mind is that women are individual people too. Some people just fucking suck. Some people are bullies, they're hateful, they're neglectful, they're mean, they're spiteful, they're cruel, whatever the case. This includes women. Some women are just, well, shitty. They're included in my goal of liberation from misogyny, but that doesn't mean I like them personally.

I wish I could trust every woman, I wish that we could have common goals in regards to patriarchal standards and crushing them. But unfortunately, as half of the population, there are all kinds of people from all walks of life, and some of them are shitty to you. I try to be open but not naively trusting them right off the bat. Guarded, but still trying to find common ground, and give her a chance. I extend a branch, so to speak, and have no expectations of them accepting it or not. I also try not to walk into every situation with false expectations that just because they're women, they'll have kindness and consideration for me. I meet a lot of people that are rude and immediately hostile to me because of my appearance, or my nonconformity to femininity, or my awkwardness. It fucking sucks, honestly. But there are also tons and tons of deeply kind, caring, supportive women. Tons of neutral women. Dividing them into categories isn't helping any of us. We all have common ground in being women.

I do want to argue your statement that "women hate women". I don't think that's necessarily true. I think women are socialized to be suspicious or competitive with other women, specifically to keep them in line. When large groups of women come together and find commonalities, not even getting to the next step of starting to dismantle oppression, that's dangerous to men. They talk. They realize that other women are just like them. That they have been tearing each other down for no goddamn reason. Women are turned against each other to keep them from realizing who's riling them up and setting them at other women.

Another thing to consider is patriarchal sub-structures within the larger framework of misogyny. Things like patriarchal religion. If you are raised within these structures, your entire world is built with these concepts. The women within these frameworks generally believe they're doing what's "best" for their peers or their daughters, but in reality it's hurting them even further.

With being jaded about being hurt in the past, you have to be careful not to let misogyny cloud your vision. It's been loaded and installed into all of our hard drives, even as feminists. It might be easy to say, oh, a bunch of girls from x group were horrible to me, all x girls are mean and vapid. That's where you really need to dig down. Put up the metaphorical stop sign in your brain. WAIT! Not all women in X or Y group are of a characteristic. That's the little misogyny worms in effect. They want you to hate a whole group of women, and turn against them, boiling them down to whatever negative characteristic that has been assigned to them. It doesn't benefit anyone except men to negatively stereotype these women.

I'm not quite sure what my grand point is here. This is a complex set of feelings to navigate. Unfortunately, women all over have internalized misogynistic standards and unfairly hurt other women on behalf of men. And sometimes women are just shitty in general. And so I can see how you would feel jaded about support for all women. I think you can blame those women for the hurt they've caused you, the pain and trauma of those who should be lifting you up instead of tearing you down. And I think you can also acknowledge that women's liberation includes ALL women, even ones who are shitty or have hurt you, because it ultimately benefits every women and makes the world a safer place for us. That there ARE wonderful women out there who care about you and women as a whole.

Keep your eye on the ball and never stop trying to connect to other women and build a community or support web, for your sake and others'.

This is a long post, but I'd love to hear thoughts on this from other radblr women, especially those with more experience building community with others in real life.

[marjansmarwani]

I’m going to post it in the morning after I do edits with a rested brain, but my 4x04 coda is just under 8k and I truly wish I had had more control over that fact. But it just kind of happened.

[topnotchquark]

No way your thesis is not now kitten daddy is a shell of his former self

Except it literally is lol.

I've expounded on it a bit earlier too. But life was. Not. Kind. To Vale post his final title.

See the nature of power is that it is a potent drug and even the ones most deft at handling it definitely take psychic damage. When you're someone like Vale who was given a free reign since young adulthood to do whatever you want, you get used to it. He basically got Jeremy Burgess as his mechanic on a whim, and even though Yamaha had their strict Japanese ethos he was able to drive design decisions (colors, gimmicks, cartoons, the works) as he wanted. He was allowed these things because he won.

When he came to Yamaha from Honda, he managed to turn a midfield team around to deliver instant wins. He was able to shut everyone up who thought his wins with Honda were due to the bike.

I guess that's what he wanted when he made the switch to Ducati. A continuation of the magic. Flip a backmarker around, deliver even more on top of the existing 9 championships. Solidify in the minds of the people that Valentino Rossi is the sport and he will win irrespective of circumstances and competition.

Anyway none of that happened. And listen, there are healthy ways to process something like this but whatever that healthy thing is, is not embedded in the mind of a man doing 300kmph on a death machine while also entertaining crowds. (Btw if we compare to similar motorsports champions, Schumi quit after losing in 2005 and 2006 because who wants to have that after basically conquering the world. Lewis' 2021 loss was something that clearly affected him and he's doing what he can to reclaim some of that lost pride and power)

So eventually what we're left with is a man who after 9 championships has to contend with the fact that new and aggressive opponents exist that he can't win out against as easily. And that he's older, and that the world's eyes are on him as usual and now he doesn't have the form and power to dictate how people see him.

Now imagine amidst all this shit show, comes the most gifted rider of generations. Who makes heart eyes at you while you have to contemplate your own mortality. I'd chew at the bars of my own enclosure too.

[suresne]

@ harrykim body swap smut anon (if you're even still here): this shit i'm writing is pretty foul. i hope you're happy

[metabolizemotions]

This season has been steeped in irony and parallels. The mental health arcs of Maya and Jack, addiction, the captaincy drama, Dixon's villainy // those in s3 esp. They made things more extreme and took them further.  

I understand the choice to isolate Maya and the team’s lack of support or compassion for her since her demotion, and the non existence of the union were plot devices for her mental health crisis storyline. But they supported Ross wholeheartedly, no questions asked? And what was the actual point of the union again?

Ross is a flawed and complex character, just like Maya. But the framing of their actions were different. They both made questionable decisions but there was only acknowledgement of what Maya did. Not Ross. Not Beckett. Their part in Maya's mental breakdown?

For the long build up since s4’s finale of Maya's demotion and the aftermath in s5 & s6, this feels like a cop out non-resolution. And this whole storyline ending with Ross's scandal framed entirely as feminist triumph is self-contradictory for me.

I liked the slow burn of Marina’s storyline - the breakdown and reconciliation and the many //. Though I didn’t necessarily agree with the characterisation entirely, the performance of D & S were emotionally resonant for me. But I thought they dropped the ball in 617. Carina's scenes were more for the benefit of Ben and Ross. It didn’t help with the way they phrased the locker room conversation as a direct causation. It was a clever use of symbolism to encapsulate so much in ~ 1 min of screen time. But I hope they don't spoil the finale in wanting to tie up the loose ends. (Also, does that mean they won't ever change their duvets now that they are probably not moving?)

There seemed to be deliberate comparison b/w Maya and Theo - their demotion, initial captaincy, single-minded obsession and mental health issues. Also some similarities about how their partners have been affected. Although Theo's behavior was more flipped-switch than organic transition and it was mainly directed at Vic. With what happened to Beckett and the toll it would take on Vic, would she have her breakdown and Theo his wakeup call? Vic needs a hug.

Did anyone else find the kisses b/w Travis and Eli awkward? Or was it cos I think Travis had much better chemistry with Michael and Emmett?

It is interesting to see Brooke, a sort of nature/ nurture comparison to Jack. Similar DNA, dissimilar upbringing. Brooke seems more emotionally mature. Jack lacks boundaries and his way of caring is to impose his values on people and help them on his terms. While Brooke’s trying to meet him where he is - like finding Lila instead of springing their bio family on him. 

Since they made such a big hoo-ha about the forbidden love affair b/w Sullivan and Ross and Dixon’s villany this season, and both storylines are not resolved, I suspect the finale would have something to do with Dixon and the two lovers. But why should we care about Sulky & Tash again? They aren't even on the same page. Sulky has been consistently w/o much growth. Ross has been consistently inconsistent. Sulky is so much like Derek and Owen. Tash keeps pulling a Meredith with her "pick me, choose me, love me" speeches...

They love to hand Sulky the redemption arc he doesn't work for and somehow frame him as the hero... Maybe he pushes Tash away from falling debris and something happens to Dick in the process. Poetic justice. Or something something…?   

Somehow I feel that Andy still wouldn't be captain. Stay tuned for another season of captaincy musical chairs...?

[graha-stan-account]

FFXIV Write 2024; Day 5 Stamp

One. Two. Three. Turn. One...

Ja’zerrau swung her axe wide then stopping to adjust her foot placement.

Two...

She swung it the opposite way, cleaving air with a tinny swish.

Three!

She brought the axe straight down, stopping just short of the ground, her hair writhing in the breeze of its wake.

Turn.

Practicing forms like this was meditative for Ja’zerrau. Each count had its own pose. There was a place she and her axe were supposed to be. Expected.

One.

It was difficult at first, managing the heft of the weapon, the intertia and its force.

Two.

But, as with all things, with practice it became easier. Ja’zarrau could swing it one-handed by now if needed.

Three.

But best of all, practicing her form kept her from thinking about Mom. And her sister who had gone with her. 

Turn.

If the thought arose, it was all too easy for her to retreat into the metronome of her counting. Mindful. Calm. 

One.

It didn't matter when the memory bubbled up of her favorite auntie being beaten against a boulder by a treant.

Two.

She didn't feel the familiar hunger pangs which marked her early days.

Three.

She was simply an extension of her weapon.