#and both characters the play partake in gay sex

[alexjcrowley]

This Bond with this Q. Do you see the vision.

[thelambliesdown1974]

I posted this is comedy yaoi but actually I need everyone to see it because I’m an educator. In lieu of the mass grief following the recent US election here’s my complete unabridged opinion piece on both the RPF and character-based SCTV yaoi-verse✊

Okay so here’s my introduction paragraph for those now in the know — second city television was a sketch comedy show that ran from ‘76-84 originally in syndication, later on CBC and NBC. It was basically the Canadian ‘underground’ version of SNL except the framing for all the skits was a fictitious dysfunctional television station (SCTV) run by a handful of recurring characters and starring Dave Thomas, John Candy, Catherine O’Hara, Eugene Levy, Joe Flaherty, Andria Martin, Rick Moranis, and Martin Short though in various combinations over the years. Oh and also Harold Ramis but only for the first two seasons so no comment.

I’d say Flaherty was kind of the big brother for everyone else in the operation— he was in the original theatre troupe and part of the show since day one. That’s not to say he was at all authoritarian though, Joe was definitely a soft spoken democratic leader. Maybe like Woodrow Wilson. Or Dumbledore, if that’s more relevant to you personally. I wouldn’t say he has any particularly strong yaoi ties to anyone else in the cast except I guess Eugene Levy since they were kind of each other’s creative muses. HOWEVER…. in terms of SCTV characters their respective newscaster personas Floyd and Earl are undoubtedly boning in a toxic nasty way on station property and probably are also the #1 SCTV couple in a Stefon and Seth sort of way (see below)

I almost forgot they also play classic 70s talk show hosts and there’s a lot of fan-fiction about them getting each other pregnant okay that’s all.

NEXT. John Candy was also one of the original members and while he wasn’t necessarily involved in either type of yaoi, his characters were integral in giving especially season 1 a very homoerotic flair. It was mostly his washed up actor-sona Johnny LaRue constantly and publicly struggling against the gay allegations since his segment in the very first episode. While trying to find that clip I actually instead found this SCTV Reddit image with a poorly overlaid huge Ariel caption that I like better. (See below)

I don’t have a whole lot to say about Catherine O’Hara, I think she was too self respecting both on screen and irl to get involved but I love her. She wrote a lot with Joe and Eugene so they were kind of like a platonic power throuple in my awesome mind. Andria Martin…. I am less sure about. She played the butch lesbian A LOT and I think has confirmed actually had sex with another woman (YURI) but I won’t say anything……. See below. Also interesting photo to use for that particular article.

NEXT….. Okay Dave Thomas, I really am not even sure where to begin with him but he was also one of the chief writers and original troupe members who ended up meeting Rick Moranis and bringing him on in season 3. The whole thing was partly his brainchild and he did author a book on the group’s history however I don’t see Dave as being as serious as Levy or Flaherty writing and production-wise. He’s kind of very theatre guy goofy silly on screen but also has an aura of sociopolitical jadedness that starts coming through in his Bill Needle sketches (a fictional miserable entertainment critic slash commentator I’ll discuss later) but especially once Dave started doing Doug McKenzie after Moranis joined.

They met at some comedy-based party in Canada (the gayest place you can meet) and really hit it off and immediately preformed as a musical duo that night (the gayest activity you can partake in. It’s like Simon and Garfunkel). Rick was kind of the new kid of the group after he was brought on but since Dave was a senior member they ended up working together a lot. The Great White North AKA the McKenzie brother skits are for sure no question what made SCTV anywhere near as well known as it is today and that was Thomas and Moranis’ comedy child. Okay and you might be thinking ‘how are they the most real life yaoiful couple on the cast but also are famous for playing brothers’ — that’s a good question and the answer is just don’t think about it too hard. I think Bob and Doug are more a testament to Dave and Rick’s day 1 original pure beautiful friendship that then laid the path for more later on. Like in this except from Dave’s book ⬇️

Anyway yes they’re 70 year old best friends now and still talk on the phone all the time and it’s awesome. But they were probably the closest out of anyone and both had to simultaneously deal with their sudden and overwhelming joint fame after Great White North blew up, which was unpleasant for both of them and involved a lot of travel and hotel rooms. (See below: an interview photo, their radio appearance promoting their comedy album, and whatever’s happening in the last one. Also notice how Dave’s face is a perfect circle he’s so cute)

Okay circling back to Bill Needle — he was a character Dave started doing in early on that went on until he left the show and he’s kind of irrelevant except for a few yaoiful details. He’s constantly having marital problems and has a weird friendship with the sleazy semi-creepy SCTV station president Guy Caballero whom Flaherty plays, and would I say they’re OFFICIALLY a yaoi couple not really but it’s there.

But yeah anyway in conclusion Rick and Dave show up in a bunch of each others sketches throughout the series and they write together and talk together and have play dates together and kiss and everyone else on SCTV absorbs their faggotry either by free will or by association and I think that’s what’s really important to remember and also I love them and I love you too. Oh and also Martin Short’s there near the end but he’s irrelevant except for inventing Ed Grimly and being Steve Martin’s de facto wife later in life. THE END

[watching-pictures-move]

Movie Review | Infinity Pool (Cronenberg, 2023)

This review contains spoilers.

There's a point the movie's trying to make about how wealth can shield you from consequences. I hesitate to call it novel or interesting, at least in how the movie explores this idea. The premise involves wealthy characters vacationing in a backwards-ass country where pretty much any crime is punished by execution, with the catch that if you have enough money, you can pay to have a clone, or "double", in the movie's speak, executed on your behalf. So the hero, after being "executed" for running over a local, joins up with a group of rich assholes as they partake in increasingly naughty antics with impunity, with the added thrill of getting to see themselves violently murdered repeatedly. (For the lulz.)

Which is all well and good for a horror movie premise. But for a movie that's supposed to startle you with shocking, gross, repulsive imagery, I never felt sufficiently shocked, grossed out or repulsed. (I should disclose that I'm the kind of person who thought it was a good idea to do a double feature of Forced Entry and Water Power last month, so clearly my definition of what is repulsive should be taken with a grain of salt.) This is directed by Brandon Cronenberg, son of another more famous Cronenberg you may have heard of, and he's very much following in his father's footsteps, to a fault. I compare those early movies from Papa Cronie, which had a certain crackling, punk rock energy, with gross out imagery that felt off the cuff, and this feels more studious, belaboured. Gross out imagery should get a jolt out of you. Creepy imagery should worm its way into your subconscious. What I saw here felt both too deliberately considered and at the same time, "level one" imagery. You get creepy masks, the hero standing in what looks like tomato soup (hopefully not gazpacho, as that would be uncomfortable), strobe light sex, all of which is wacky, but not much more than that. (Fellas, is it gay to pee on your own double?) The camera is trained on these sights intensely, so that any surprise they might have provided is sure to dissipate, rarely lingering once the movie cuts to something else.

Regarding the strobe light sex, Junior's erotic imagination seems limited compared to his father's, and I never got the sense that he found any of what was playing out to be terribly exciting or hot, even in theory. Compare that to the arcs of Videodrome and Scanners (and a whole bunch of other Papa Cronies) and you can see how those movies capture an empowering, sometimes erotic quality in the proceedings and actually try to make us complicit in what the heroes do. Junior observes from a distance, mocking the obnoxious rich assholes we're stuck spending time with. He's taking notes from the movies of his father and other esoteric horror filmmakers from generations past. He takes all of this and summarizes it into a movie which he presents to you in a gesture of obnoxious ingratiation, nudging you repeatedly as he speaks. "Hey man, wanna see something fucked up? Careful, things might get a little weird." Sure, Brandon.

I should be a bit more even handed and say that the movie didn't actively annoy me, just left me pretty unimpressed. At the very least, it's pretty nicely shot, and has some interesting visual ideas that might have worked better had they been freed from such overly deliberate presentation. I did like the scene where the villains taunt the hero by making him walk in front of their car while they heckle him and yell at him to walk faster, which is one moment that didn't feel mimeographed from Papa Cronie's movies and was pretty funny to boot. I think Alexander Skarsgard is quite good in the lead, or at least effectively cast, in that he brings a certain deadpan humour to the endless bad decisions he makes, and that his improbable handsomeness seems to be part of the joke. As for Mia Goth, I think early on when she's viewed from a distance, she brings a nice off kilter energy to her sexpot role. But as we get closer and her character comes into focus, the bigger swings she takes do more to demonstrate all the work she's putting into her performance than actually selling her character's state of mind. After seeing three of her acclaimed performances in a row (X, Pearl and this), I'm beginning to think I don't like her very much as an actress.

[tired-fandom-ndn]

I got your post about lolita fashion and fujoshis reccomend to me through the tags and would you mind explaining to me how the fujoshi community accomplished any of those things? I don't mean this in a negative way, I feel like I may have the wrong idea on what fujoshis are.

Putting this in a list for my own ease.

The term fujoshi translates to "rotten woman/women" (Japanese words are both plural and singular, so fujoshi is already pluralized!). The specific kanji are 腐女子, which is important because people interpret "rotten" to mean "bad" or "disgusting", when 腐 actually refers to literal decay, fermentation, spoilage, etc. It's a play on the term 婦女子, pronounced and written the same way, which translates to "respectable woman/wife".

Despite popular belief, it has never been used to mean "homophobic" or "fetishistic". I've also seen the claim that it's the Japanese equivalent of "fag hag" but that's also not true (that's actually okoge/お焦げ, which is a play on a nasty slur).

The term itself was coined in the early 2000s on a website called 2channel, a forum site that was essentially the Japanese equivalent of 4chan (at the time, idk what it's like currently). The term was created by straight men as a way to degrade women in fandom, telling them that they're "spoiled" or "past their expiration date" because of their interests and therefore ruined for marriage.

(The term fujoshi, at the time, was applied to women who "ruined" fandom for men, usually women who liked shipping or creating romantic fan content for media mostly enjoyed by men. It was never, as people like to believe, about protecting gay men because the people who coined it saw m/m ships as ruining their favorite characters.)

The cultural context for this is really important because, even now, there's incredibly strict and misogynist ideas about a woman's role in Japanese society. Fandom, and other personal interests, are seen as something childish that Japanese women are expected to abandon as they get older. Those women are often expected to put their full focus on finding a husband, starting a family, and becoming a homemaker. Even now, women working outside of certain careers is controversial.

When Japanese men call women fujoshi, what they're saying is that unmarried women will never find husbands (failing at what they should see as their purpose) and that married women are shaming their husbands and children (again failing their supposed purpose) by partaking in fandom at all.

Fujoshi became a reclaimed label though! Japanese women took that misogynistic term and said, "You know what? Okay. If having interests makes me spoiled, then I'll be as rotten as I want". It became a way for those women to fight against the idea that all they're good for is being wives and mothers or that they should care more about being desirable than happy.

It also became a way for Japanese women to explore their sexuality. In Japan, the "female" body (the sex binary is fake, but you get what I mean) is highly stigmatized, especially the vagina. There's strict laws about how women's bodies can be shown in media, and many women have been arrested and jailed for creating vagina imagery. With that in mind, fujoshi often use BL (boys love, more commonly known as "yaoi" in the West) as a way to explore their own sexuality, attraction, and desires within the extremely strict confines they have.

(Edit to put in a quick note: while it isn't EXPLICITLY illegal to depict vaginas and vulvas in Japanese art, it's way more likely that the artists will be fined or arrested for violation of obscenity laws compared to artists who depict penises in their works. This is something that a lot of women in Japan, like artist Igarashi Megumi, have been challenging both in social situations and in court. While this stigmatization exists in the West as well, including the US, it manifests in different ways in Japan and it's important that we have full cultural context in this discussion.)

These days, when used as a self identifier in fandom, fujoshi literally just means "woman who likes m/m content". There's male and gender neutral versions (fudanshi/腐男子, fujin/腐人) and even versions for f/f content (himejoshi/姫女子, himedanshi/姫男子, and himejin/姫人). None of these terms have any moral weight, nor do they indicate how someone treats real queer people.

Over the years, and with the rising popularity of manga and anime in the West, the label fujoshi has been shared with Western fans. Unfortunately, it took on its misogynistic origins in this new space too and became another weapon to basically tell women to go back to the kitchen. Which was how it was used originally. Now we're at the point where that misogyny is being framed as progressive, to protect gay men from these supposedly straight cis girls who are obsessed with them. It's also become a very popular insult for radfems to throw at trans fans, particularly trans guys, to frame them as cishet girls who are "pretending" to be men because they "fetishize" "real" gay men.

And that's basically the gist of it. Hope this helps, anon!

[divinetheatre]

no omg you are so right. they always want to portray will as some helpless and delicate sub. but like, no. i feel like their relationship dynamic is fluid, because they balance eachother out. so, inturn it would make more sense if they were both switches; being both dominant and submissive with eachother. a very big stereotype is that you have to be tiny, shy, delicate etc to be submissive, but that's absolutely false, and with this most people assume that will is the sub and hannibal is the dom. when truthfully, they just love eachother, and they do what feels good and comfortable; theres no shame in pleasure. hannibal can definitely be submissive with will (and he is) this is because it allows him to show his vulnerable side. this is a big deal, hannibal is shown as some tough guy and he acts the part aswell, but he is able to unravel himself with will, and trust him enough to submit and just feel good. and vice versa, will trusts hannibal enough to submit to him even after the pain hes put him through. as for dominance, its no surpise that hannibal would be possessive over will; but the same thing goes for will, he gets just as jealous, maybe even more so who knows. overall, its undeniable that hannibal would submit to will just as much as will would submit to hannibal; there love and trust for eachother has allowed them to form this bond, allowing them to unravel and let go with eachother. people need to stop lying to themselves and just accept the fact that these two men are gay and love eachother, and partake in activities that makes them feel good; if that means hannibal submitting to will then so be it, cause will does the exact same thing to hannibal. this kind of turned into a rant, but my point still stands akjs

i agree with everything you said. i believe in switching with all my heart too. let’s be honest tho these people have never actually had gay sex and the issues of stereotypes and trying to force one man into the more “feminine” role goes far beyond the hannibal fandom though i do think we’ve got it bad over here. it is just so infuriating how it has played out with will and hannibal bc it goes against everything about how their characters have evolved throughout the show. you can’t stand there and tell me that twotl hannibal would not fall at will’s feet for the chance to be with him forever. you cannot tell me that twotl will would not dom the fuck out of him when he literally orchestrated the whole escape. the will that stood over hannibal and decided whether to let the dragon kill him or to save him is not the simpering twinkified will of these fics. end of story.

[brad-holbrook]

long overdue intro post for breedly holebrook bradley holbrook!! if you’ve seen my writing you’ll know i’m prone to go over the top, so naturally that’s what i’ve done here

so this is my warning, LONG POST AHEAD (lmao and i may still add to it, who knows) i’m always open to chat/plot/whatever if you ever want to slide into my dms, or feel free to ask for my discord!! 

biographical information

NAME: Bradley Donovan Holbrook

OTHER NAMES: Brad; Dimples (by Cory)

BORN: 30 June, 2002

ZODIAC SIGN: Cancer

HOMETOWN: Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio, United States

MARITAL STATUS: Single

SEXUALITY: Homosexual

OCCUPATION: None (soon to be a freshman in college)

NATIONALITY: American

ETHNICITY: Irish (½), English (⅛), Polish (⅛), Scottish (⅛)

physical information

GENDER: Cisgender Male

HEIGHT: 5 ft 11 in (180 cm)

WEIGHT: 66 kg (145 lbs)

HAIR COLOUR: Brown

EYE COLOUR: Dark Brown

SKIN COLOUR: Fair

FACIAL HAIR: Clean Shaven

BODY HAIR: Some Leg and Pit, Trimmed Pubic Hair

family information

FATHER: Stuart Holbrook (b. 1966)

MOTHER: Roisin Holbrook (née Mallon) (b. 1968)

OLDER SISTER: Teresa “Tessa” Holbrook (b. 1993)

OLDER SISTER: Lydia Holbrook (b. 1996)

OLDER SISTER: Ophelia Holbrook (b. 1998)

character information

POSITIVE TRAITS: Affectionate, Adventurous, Creative, Determined, Generous, Loyal, Modest, Patient, Selfless

NEGATIVE TRAITS: Clumsy, Envious, Fearful, Gullible, Insecure, Self-Conscious

INTERESTS: Singing, Guitar, Piano, Musical Theater, Soccer, Adventuring/Exploring, Reading

sexual information

SEXUAL POSITION: Bottom, Rare Vers

KINKS: Age Gaps, Breeding, Choking, Dirty Talk, Exhibitionism, Facials (receiving), Height Differences, Multiple Partners/Group Sex, Rimming, Roleplaying, Rough Sex

ANTI-KINKS: Blood Play, Feminisation, Feet, Gaping, Heavy BDSM, Scat, Watersports

other

The youngest and only son of four, it’s fair to say Bradley lived a sheltered life. He grew up with three protectors, stylists, and band members, his family being very musically inclined due to his dad’s role as a theatre lighting designer.

His upbringing was fairly average and full of positive reinforcement. Even when he came out during high school, he was met with nothing but praise and support.

Bradley wasn’t the most popular boy at school, but he was firmly high on the popularity scale. In addition to his looks and kind personality, he was active in both the school’s drama programmes and soccer team and consequently found himself gaining a fair few admirers growing up.

His sisters and him were all encouraged to partake in singing and piano lessons growing up. Naturally Brad was soon discovered to possess the most musical talent, and went on to learn the guitar and ukulele, and become familiar with the drums and bass.

He realised he was gay when him and a teammate kissed during a game of truth and dare, after which Bradley developed feelings that weren’t reciprocated, but something that he didn’t take personally.

Losing his virginity wasn’t something he was necessarily proud of, but nor is he ashamed. He met the man (who was around seven years older than him) on Grindr and the two met up in Brad’s car in a parking lot outside a nearby village hall.

His first boyfriend came along shortly after, and with newfound romance came a new muse. Bradley found himself expanding on his musical talents and began writing his own music, mostly inspired by young love.

Bored of the monotony of their hometown, Bradley and his friends planned to embark on a road trip after graduation, each of them taking a year out before college in order to partake in the trip.

Bradley’s boyfriend was due to accompany them on the trip, but alas, with the inspiration of young love comes the forlorn muse that is heartbreak. Their break up was messy, with accusations being thrown around by both parties, including false rumours being spread of Brad’s infidelity.

The trip went ahead and Bradley managed to forget about his ex for the most part, but not before having penned several songs that had been born from his anguish. He has since been fine tuning and rewriting the one he has connected with most, and hopes to one day be satisfied enough with it to release it to the public.

His parents, ever supportive and misguided, decided to help kill two birds with one stone and gifted their one and only son with a vacation to Camp Riverbend, hoping the outdoors and change of scenery would help him finish his song and that the LGBTQ friendly premise would help Bradley gain confidence in himself. Naturally, they hadn’t read the fine print about how friendly the camp was.

[aethersea]

you know what, I never do these things, but actually I’ve decided I would like to get to know people better! I would like to partake of the mortifying ordeal! I would like to talk about myself for a bit!

ok for the next...let’s say five days I will answer any of these things that people tag me in, or any random personal questions you plop in my ask box. I don’t have an ask meme on hand but just....pick one you’ve seen recently, or make up questions of your own, and I’ll answer. (the answer might be ‘nope that’s private’ but I will answer.) (@ the anon who asked for book recs - I see you, I’ve been thinking of books all day, I’m going to give you SUCH a long answer, I hope you don’t regret your choices bc it WILL be full of gushing)

alright, let’s go!

🌻 Tag 9 people you want to get to know better

Tagged by @booksandchainmail​

Last Song: I’m currently listening to “Falcon in the Dive” from the Scarlet Pimpernel musical on loop. I watched one or two Scarlet Pimpernel movies when I was just barely too young to fully get what was going on, and the story’s held an odd but deep-seated place in my heart ever since. A few years ago I found out there’s a musical and most of the songs are pretty stellar (go listen to “Madame Guillotine” if you like big ensemble broadway numbers, it’s a banger, the bit where he cries out for God has been running through my mind on and off for a few days now haha not like that’s topical or anything), so every once in a while I spend a few days listening to them a lot.

Sometime last year I read the actual book, and got super into the whole concept of the Scarlet Pimpernel for a while. I plotted out Pimpernel aus for several fandoms, I read the entire wikipedia article, and I went looking for bootlegs of the musical. I didn’t find one, but I did find a full radioplay-style recording of the script, complete with full musical numbers, and listened to it like a podcast.

Reader, I was so disappointed. The play adds some scenes, bc a lot of the dramatic tension of the novel comes from internal conflict and that doesn’t stage super well, and the very first scene of this play – a play written in the NINETIES – features our dashing hero rescuing some aristocrats from a French prison, and then saying to the person in the next cell, who begs for rescue but is not an aristocrat, “We have enough of your kind in England.”

Enough! of your KIND! What in the merry frickety HECK my dudes!! The book has some rather unfortunate™ takes but it is from 1905, it’s regrettable but sadly to be expected. This play is from 1997. It has NO excuse. This scene wasn’t even in the book! What! the heck!

I was so disheartened that I lost my excitement for the play, and a couple songs later I stopped listening. It occurred to me just a few days ago that you could actually stage that ironically, with the person in the cell giving the audience a “can you believe this” look, and then the rest of the play could feature assorted non-aristocratic ensemble members constantly looking at the audience like they’re on The Office. And hey, maybe that’s what they did, or something similar – maybe that was never meant to be taken as a cleanly heroic stance, and the play deals with it in a complex way. It’s possible. I wouldn’t know. Kinda doubt it though, based on song lyrics.

Favorite Color: red, probably

Last Movie: I watched that new lesbian christmas movie with my family for christmas, the one with kirsten stewart and the guy from schitt’s creek. it’s very sweet and good and kinda sad, and I really enjoyed it. it also incidentally has the best gay best friend trope in probably anything ever, bc it’s not a trope (I didn’t realize until several hours after watching that it technically fits), it’s just a guy who is the protagonist’s best friend, and they’re just all gay, and then when he Gives Relationship Advice as a gay best friend always does, it’s advice about how to deal with your partner’s hangups around coming out.

actually every part of the gay best friend trope becomes better when they’re just best friends who are both gay. the big dramatic gestures (in this case, driving some ungodly distance in the snow on no notice) go from “haha how kooky” to “queer man will do anything he needs to to rescue his queer friend from an isolating & potentially triggering situation”. the relationship advice isn’t “honey you deserve some self-respect, treat yourself”, it’s a deeply sincere reminder of the vulnerability that is shared across almost everyone’s queer experience, and look I could ramble about this for a long time before reaching a coherent point but I’m INTO IT, okay? I’m into it.

Last Show: you want me to remember what show I last finished???? impossible, cannot be done, it was a long time ago and the adhd has eaten everything that happened before last week. here, instead I’ll tell you about another movie I watched, late at night with my mom in cozy companionship just a couple days ago. it’s called Quigley Down Under and it’s about a cowboy who goes to Australia and kills a bunch of racists, 10/10 would watch again. it’s from 1990 but it feels much older, with the music choices and the cinematography of a 70s Western. the cowboy is great, honorable and fearless and kind, but the breakaway star of this movie for me is the woman who attaches herself to his side and refuses to leave. her name is Cora, and she’s crazy, in the sense that she’s not altogether tethered to reality, but this never for a second diminishes her agency. she’s fierce and clever and compassionate, and she basically never does anything she doesn’t want to in the whole movie. her arc is about overcoming trauma by taking charge of her own fear and facing it head-on, she is never belittled or dismissed by the narrative or the protagonist, and look she’s just so cool. I love her. she’s so vibrantly alive. her story could probably have been handled with a bit more nuance, but honestly for the 90s it’s pretty great. I’m no expert, but I found nothing objectionable in it, just a bit of heavy-handedness.

anyway the theme of the movie is that racism is evil and racists deserve to be shot, and this too could have been handled better (not a single aboriginal character speaks a single line of english in this movie), but it follows through on that message in every way, while still being a fun kinda campy cowboy movie. overall a very good time.

Currently Watching: started showing my sister Hilda the other day, and she’s liking it! I love that show, it’s so incredibly cute. can’t wait to see season 2

Currently Reading: lmao I wish. lately the brain has firmly rejected all attempts to read anything of any length. currently pending, bc I was halfway through them when my brain stalled out, are tano’s fic What Does Kill You Can Make You Stronger, Too, a Toby Daye book - I think it was The Brightest Fell, I got like half a chapter in and haven’t picked it up in over a month, the Locked Tomb series, and probably a few other things too. ooh! also a book called Making Sex by thomas laqueur, which is my fancy academic reading that I’ve been doing in short bursts for the past year or two when I feel fancy and academic. it’s about the development of the concept of biological sex and of gender in Western society, and it’s fascinating. has among other things introduced me to the idea that until quite recently, fathers were a matter of faith. the mother? yeah, you can watch the baby pop out, we all know who the mother is. but the father? how can you know? how can you really know? we have paternity tests these days, but for all of human history up until now, we've just had to take fatherhood on faith. (not to mention we didn’t even know what fathers were contributing to the production of a fetus. clearly it was something, since you can’t get pregnant without a penis getting involved, but we have literally not known what until the past few decades. and that is wild. it has colored ALL of human history, all of our conceptions of society and family and kinship and gender, all of it, and it hadn’t even occurred to me until it was spelled out for me in this book, and it’s just......wow.

Salty, sweet or savory: for christmas my sister and I made seven different types of cookie, most of them involving chocolate somehow.

Craving: no bc I ate so many cookies. unless sleep counts. or maybe pringles, it’s been many moons since last I had a potato chip and I miss them.

Coffee or Tea: no thank you

Tagging: @coloursisee, @krchy-tuna, @sam-j-squirrel, @xzienne, @mirandatam, @viciousmaukeries, @sepulchritude, @elidyce, and @navigatorsnorth bc it’s been a while since we’ve talked, and I’m super hyped that you’re married now. v happy for you!

[slashingdisneypasta]

Slashers + Jennifer Check x Reader || Oneshot

Title: Peeping Toms and Bets

Notes:

This is a remake and revamp of an old Oneshot request I did in my old blog. I hope you like this! 

Jed is changed to Bubba, because in this shot the character does act most like Bubba then Thomas or Jedidiah ^^ 

The 2 would you rather’s were found online.

Plot: Jennifer has invited you over for a sleepover and you ask her a very interesting question. Oh and the boys are all listening together in and betting on your response to the question. 

Warnings: Suggestive or course language. 

Chucky, walks down the hall, headed for the kitchen while he knows the succubus and her friend are hidden away in the living room, feels a harrowing sense of disgust at what he sees. Well, the disgust being only on a strictly face value basis. Mostly he’s interested to hear the excuses his fellow Slashers have for their camping outside the closed living room door while two teenage girls have a sleepover inside. The first one to notice his presence, when he stops is Bubba who was taking a break from straining his ears to listen to whatever’s happening inside and look down the hall. Where he spots the bright hair and plastic features of child terror. He gasps, quickly and quietly, and alerts the others by tapping spatially on Michael and Stu.

They all turn to see Chucky, and Michael’s shoulders drop heavily in exasperation. Can’t he be left in peace? Why’d all these people have to join him? Stu gasps along with Bubba, before dissolving into a slightly guilty turned down grin, on one side, looking to the floor. Freddy has the good humour to look guilty, too. But isn’t really.

“… what the hell are you two doing??!” Chucky finally manages to spit out, past his pure amusement of the, concerning and slightly horrifying, scene. He raises an eyebrow and feels a tad out of place but stands his ground, when Stu and Bubba ‘Shh’ him, violently. Spit breaking from their mouths, he’s sure.

Freddy nearly panics entirely and immediately smacks Stu’s hand away from his face, looking between those two idiots and the door. “Shut up! Both of you, you were louder than him!” While he goes off on the two, Michael just sighs and opts to look back through the crack in the door that he was peaking though. “And you! Shut it! They might hear you, and then we will all be in trouble.”

“’All’??” Chucky exclaims furiously, eyes wide and wholly incredulous. “I’m not playing peaking Tom on teenage girls as an old man- “

Freddy’s voice is barely a whisper, in fact it’s much more like TV static then a human voice, due to his burnt vocal cords. “Don’t get your panties in a twist, they’re dressed. This is not a porn video. To my knowledge girls don’t, in fact, get undressed to sleepover with each other.” Stu mumbles a quiet ‘Yeah, unfortunately’ and pouts, as a couple of them share a moment of silence for the tragic misconception. Including Chucky and even Bubba. Michael rolls his eyes, still stretching his neck to look through the crack, back against the wall. “Haven’t caught a glimpse. We’re just listening.”  

“And you don’t think they’d mind?” Recovered, Chucky smirks smugly, words dripping with sarcasm. Almost evilly, as if he’s 2 seconds from blowing their cover and telling Jennifer-or, worse. Jason, - what they’re up to.

Bubba looks nervous, at that, touching the tips of his meaty pointer fingers together and looking ashamedly thoughtful. But then Michael makes an audible ‘Pfft’ sound from under his mask like he really couldn’t care less if they minded, causing their plastic acquaintance to raise his eyebrows in surprise, he relaxes. If Michael doesn’t care, maybe he shouldn’t either. Michael is cool.  

What would Jason say, though? Just as Bubba’s thoughts on that are immediately shut off, when the TV inside the living room turns off and silences engulfs the area. Then the girls inside start talking, which understandably makes every boy or man on the other side of the wall turn on their listening ears to level 99 and lean towards the sound.

Chucky makes a split-second decision and joins them on the floor. To tell the truth, he doesn’t give a flying fuck whether the girls mind, either. But he had to pick on these assholes, so if Stu doesn’t stop snickering at him, he’s going to cut out the teenager’s tongue, wrap it up and use it as a stress ball. Stu seems to get the message when Chucky connects gazes with him, slowly touches his own tongue, and then mimes violently tearing it out.

//

After the obligatory 3 movies (One romance, one horror which was a tough decision due to your friends living arrangements of course, and one comedy), you and Jennifer stop to recoup and recharge, and start talking. You’re wrapped in blankets and your favourite pyjama’s, and she’s dipping into her coloured popcorn. The only sugar, to your knowledge, that this girl intakes. Its no wonder she’s so gorgeous. She decides on a diet and exercise regimen and sticks to it. Truly amazing. You? Well… you prefer your snacks to a model perfect body.

Surrounding the two of you are many, many pillows and blankets. Some you’ve come to realise were stolen from some of her roommate’s rooms, due to their particular smell and some concerning stains. Also, the one that evidently belongs to Michael has a violent looking hole in it and has stuffing poking out.

Another is a full size Hatsune Miku body pillow, and you don’t dare to ask whos’ room she snatched that one from. Although, you have your suspects. Confirmation, though, is an entirely different experience. And one that you would rather not have.

As you start talking, you dig into your own chosen caffeine for the night. You’re playing would you rather, of course.

Because its fun, to give your friend two horrible or disgusting options and make them choose one.

“Would you rather have uncontrollable gas at work for the rest of your life or for every first date you have for the rest of your life?”

“Work!” Jennifer decides, immediately, apparently horrified by the other prospect. “If I was an uncontrollable fart machine for all of my first dates, I would starve! Who cares if my stuffy boss smells eggs for the rest of his miserable life.”

She sure has some… strong feelings, about her non-existent future boss. You snigger, sipping your drink through a chewed straw. “Okay, okay…”

“Would you rather have an animal best friend, any animal, meaning if it were a bear or a horse you could ride them around, or be married to someone who is peak attractive for you.”

That stumps you, and for a moment you just sit there with your mouth open, thinking furiously. Jennifer grins wide. “A wonderful pet buddy or best sex??” And at that, she starts to laugh a bit, patting your knee. You’re lost! “Impossible!”

“I know what I’d pick-“

“Yeah I know what you would pick. Evil one.”

She laughs some more.

Evilly.

After a couple of minutes of that, her teasing you and you thinking, you finally decide. Although, you only say it very, very quietly and into a pillow, so no higher power hears and grants it.

After that, you feel the need to be evil as well and think for a few moments deeply about wat to ask her… then come up with something perfect. You smirk at her over your pillow and sit it back down on your lap, still holding it. “If the world was ending, and it was up to you to save it, and you did want to save it, and you had to sleep with someone to do that… who would it be?” She immediately opens her mouth to say a name, but you quickly, mischievously hold up your hand halt her, and add the evilness. “Thing is!! It has to be one of the Slasher boys that you live with. Patrick and Carrie don’t count.”

Like you did before, she stops. Slowly closes her mouth, and looks off into the distance. Stuck. “Uh, so… one of… Bubba, Chucky, Freddy, Jason, Billy, Stu, or Michael?”

Oh, damn. You think, realising you forgot to cast out Billy and Stu. Well, that was a bust attempt at causing her strife-

“That’s impossible! What the fuck??”

Oh, okay. That’s kind of sad for Billy and Stu… But, uh, good for you!

//

The creepy group outside the door, which has grown a few more hands and legs belonging to Billy and Jason. The former only being there as he was trying to stop them from being weird but had given up and got tired, so he sat down. Now he was, apparently, apart of this. Somehow.

Billy is here because his DVD player got jammed.

After hearing Y/N’s question, multiple reactions come from these Slashers.

1.       Chucky and Freddy are very creepy and partake in some wolfish grinning that frightens Bubba and puts off Jason.

2.       Stu goes very, very red, and grins a little goofy. He shut down the moment the question was issued, so he didn’t hear the incriminatingly insulting thing that Jennifer hinted about him.

3.       Bubba also goes bright red, and covers his face.

4.       And Billy pauses momentarily, having caught the ego crushing material, then takes a deep breath and sits up straighter. “Oof, so, lets lay some bets?”

Billy holds up 10 fingers, sitting cross legged the furthest away from the door or wall, in general. “For Jen saying Michael.” The said shape of Haddonfield turns gruffly to the Ghostface original, who shrugs and grins his knowing grin. “I could explain it to you, but then you would think I checked you out.”

“Oh no, but in reality, you just watch his movie once a month- once a week in 91.” Stu narrowly escapes Billy’s wrath, ducking out of the way and practically into Bubba’s lap when his friends reaches for his hair. Michael just deeply sighs, along with Jason and continues to watch.

“Moving on from that borderline embarrassing bit of information that I’m sure we’re all going to ridicule you for later, I have a bet too. Since you think she’ll pick Michael, I’ll put 50 on myself.”

“30 on Billy. Despite, his gayness.” Freddy adds, preoccupied listening into the living room, but never too preoccupied to tease.

“I’m not gay!”

“Its okay, Billy, its 2020. You can be open with us.”

“Fuck you man, you suck, you’re going down on the favourite Slasher list.”

Freddy just giggles at that, turning his full concentration back on Jennifer.

Jason sighs deeply, his shoulders literally raising and falling in an obvious effort to make it noticeable. It is noticeable, its just that no one cares that he disapproves. He sighs again, this time quieter to himself, in hopelessness. He refuses to gamble on this.

Stu holds up a hand full of fingers and a thumb, five. “On Y/N picking Jason.” Michael nods to that, agreeing and holding up both his hands, 4 times. He’s got 40 on Y/N picking Jason. Jason himself looks specifically at his fellow voiceless murderer Michael, in horror. He thought better, of him. Michael only shrugs in response, like ‘You shouldn’t have though so highly of me. That was stupid.’. besides, its October, he’s naturally bound to take more risks. Plus, he’s had an odd inkling, that Y/N’s liked Jason for a while. She comes over a lot for Jennifer, but sometimes she hangs with Jason instead.

Chucky smirks at the interaction. “As I’m obligated to always contradict everyone else, I’m going to bet fifty-five, on her picking Freddy.”

“Oh. Hell no.” Billy butts in, unhappy with these high ass numbers. “I’ve been flirting with Y/N for weeks. It’ll pay off, she’ll pick me.”

Bubba doesn’t bet. He remembers how Drayton and Chop Top get when they used to bet on horses, and it wasn’t pretty. He doesn’t want to be like that, no.

//

Jennifer’s still thinking a couple minutes later, and you’re starting to worry when she finally moves. And flops back on her mattress that she’d had Bubba carry down here for her, in the hopelessness of it all. You will be sleeping on the couch, but you’re on her mattress too right now for until you go to sleep. If you go to sleep. This particular question may take some time.

“Uhh… lets see… “You crawl up to her head and plonk down where you can see her face. She chews on the inside of her cheek, and then starts to think out loud for your benefit. “Billy’s our age, and so pretty,” You nod, understanding. He is very pretty. “But… “

“But?”

“Well, but… Michael is so big!” She throws her arms onto the mattress on either side of her body for emphasis, causing you to open your mouth and raise your eyebrows and the boldness, then laugh and nod at the same time. Yeah… yeah… that true too…

And a very interesting point… You think to yourself, dusting a gentle pink across your cheeks.

“Y/N, no. This is not a laughing matter!” She’s grinning, though.

You raise your hands, playing surrender. “No, no, of course not! I’ll stop!”

“You better.”

//

“Stop fucking around!” Freddy exclaims, not loud enough for either of the girls to hear of course. He grits his teeth. “I’m betting on the outcome of your decision, bitch! Shut up and say ‘Billy’!”

“So… “Chucky starts to rethink his decision to bet. “What happens if they don’t decide? Is the game off, or… ?”

Billy halts for a moment, then looks at Bubba for a second. “Oh, yeah Bubba? You think the money should go to the new TV fund?? Well, if you say so!”

Bubba immediately looks panicked and confused, a serious squawk escaping him aimed towards the others. He didn’t say that! He didn’t even think that! Honestly, he thinks it’s should go towards a chicken coup…

Jason quickly pats Bubba’s shoulder, still in a perpetual state of exasperation and tired, but still wanting to assure Bubba that, they know. Billy’s full of crap, we know you didn’t say that.

//

Finally, Jennifer decides and makes an ‘Ah!’ sound, moving her finger from her lips thoughtfully, to the air excitedly. She sits up and faces you.

Oh, this is very serious. It must be. It demands eye contact. “You’ve decided?

“Yes.” Her finger lowers to her shoulder height. “Okay so, I simply boiled it down to a science.”

“You did?” You ask, just humouring her.

“Yes. So,” She starts counting off Slashers from her list of possibilities with her fingers. “First of all, Freddy killed his wife. So, he’s out.” Well that makes sense. “And Billy tried to kill his girlfriend, so even though he’s sexy, he isn’t trustworthy either, so he’s gone too.” So far so good. “Jason’s rotting away, and ‘Au Decaying’ doesn’t really stimulate me to do anything apart from spray him with anti-bacterial and Hello kitty deodorant, despite his wonderful shoulders.” Oh, yes. Jason does have nice shoulders. “Then Bubba’s flesh mask is a complete turn off, Chucky’s a Good Guy, not a bad boy. And Stu’s a weirdo.”

You nod, a smile reaching your lips and the pure simplicity of her end decision, coming to the only conclusion. “So… Michael.”

“Yeah!”

“I don’t think he showers regularly.”

“Eh, neither do a lot of the boys I eat.”

//

Stu is gaping, very wide and very deeply. “A weirdo??” He looks in disbelief to his best friend and the victor. Michael nods, being hurtfully honest with the kid and Billy comforts him with a shoulder pat. He is also reeling. He hadn’t previously identified his Sydney fiasco as a warning for other girls… maybe he should have. This could be an issue.

“Yeah… man, you are a weirdo.”

“Thanks so much, buddy.”

“Yeah, you’re welcome.”

“Bad boy?” Chucky asks, pleasantly surprised. He turns to Bubba, who’s looking indignantly at the door because his fashion is ahead of their time! “Do I have bad boy energy?”

Freddy sulks. “Oh… I get it… “

Jason rolls his eyes at them all. They’re all ridiculous!

//

“What about you?” Jennifer asks, turning the tables on you.

“Me?” You squeak.

“Yeah, you.”

“Well… “You square your shoulders, ready in the face of a challenge. “Well, lemme see… Well, Jason is strong, and sweet- “

“Oh yes.” You wince, at Jennifer’s sudden cold tone, as she squinty glares at you. “I know you think Jason’s sweet. You’ve abandoned me multiple times, to ang with him the kitchen! Betrayal!”

“Aha… ah… well, moving on! Chucky’s got a very hot aura!” You quickly push on, afraid of your friend’s wrath about Jason. “A-and, um… He’s also very handsome as a human, so I guess it wouldn’t be bad if he were in that form… “ Jennifer breaks out into a grin, glad to have made you stutter a bit, and back to her good mood. You sigh, back muscles relaxing. Evil girl.

“Yes, and the rest…?” Oh, she still wants you to answer the question, okay.

“Well. Stu’s tall, and rich. Which, of course, isn’t a deal maker but it’s a good point to mention.” Jennifer nods solemnly at that. “Michael provides a very nice… well, err, he would make a nice nude model. And Freddy’s got a really attractive voice, which I don’t think he knows which is very good thing, don’t let him know. And, Bubba’s so sweet. And Billy… is Billy. I don’t know what to say, he’s been flirting with me for weeks now.”

Jennifer rolls her eyes. “Mood.”

//

“I’m… Billy.” Billy grins, feeling proud of his persona for a moment and puffing out his chest in pride. Chucky gazes at Jason, like ‘Yeah, I guess he is the whole package… ‘, and Jason himself scotches away from the ginger doll. “I knew she was picking it up! I learnt all I know from movi-“

“Me, you know all you know from me.” Freddy cuts through, deadpanned.

“Which explains why she wasn’t jumping for joy when she mentioned it.” Chucky yawns.

“Hey!!” Chucky gets a chuckle out of that reaction from the two.

“Who cares?! This girl is just after my money!!” Stu exclaims, looking hopeless. He chuckles, haughtily then and crosses his arms. “Well guess what? None of its mine! It belongs to my parents! So, ha!” Michael shakes his head and looks disappointedly at the teenager. That doesn’t help your case… It really does not…

“Well Charlie, maybe I don’t need to flirt. My voice does it for them,” A devious smirk slips across Freddy’s face and he evilly cackles after a moment. Jason looks severely exasperated at him, and Freddy just sticks out his tongue. “Jealous.”

Bubba is touched that they think he’s sweet. That’s nice.

___ NOW MAKE YOUR DECISION! ___

Billy Loomis:

“I’m gonna have to disagree with you, Jen.” You grin and can’t help it. Its sort of a nice thought, to have to fuck Billy. “Billy’s the only choice.”

She scoffs and throws some of her popcorn at you.

//

Billy stretches and yawns, like he’s so very exhausted of that thing called being fuckable, and turns to look weirdly smug at Michael. “That’s right, only competition. She chose me.”

“-Only competition!? Excuse you, former bud!” Stu smacks his friend, scowling.

“Well that is what you get for outing my obsession with the Halloween movies to Michael fucking Myers.”

“You bitter thing!”

Bubba Sawyer:

“Aww, Bubba.” You decide, finally truly thinking about the cinnamon roll. You smile. “It has to be Bubba. He’s the cutest, and the nicest one here.” Jennifer makes a ‘yuck’ face.

“The mask??”

“That can be removed.” You reply quickly.

//

Bubba blushes brightly in the dimness of the hallway, pulling away from the wall he was listening to, between Stu and Jason continues to look bashful and gooey at the floor for a little while, until Jason realises he’s going to have to guide him home to hid basement bedroom and looks deeply unamused about it. But, still kind of happy for his-pseudo brother.

“BUBBA?! Who bet on Bubba?!”

Chucky/Charles Lee Ray:

Lowly, with an embarrassed, dark blush on your face, you mutter. “Chucky… “ Jennifer looks two seconds from king shaming you, so you rush to add. “In human form!! Dear God.”

“Oh… “She doesn’t look convinced, making you roll your eyes. “Yeah, sure. You tell yourself that. You go be nasty on the couch.”  

//

Chucky looks smugly at everyone, in turn, very, very happy with the outcome of that despite not winning the bet. “Yeah.” Freddy scowls at him.

“Don’t you look at me.”

“Yep, me.” Chucky ignores him. “Suck it.”

Freddy Krueger:

Realising who it would have to be, you widen your eyes and consider lying. But of course, decide to be honest. “Uh… well, um, Freddy… yup.”

She raises her eyebrows. “What if he goes batshit and tries to choke you to death?”

You laugh, at that. “Honestly, I do think choking would be a part of it, but in the case of danger I’ll just call you!” You grin cheerily at her. “Best friend!”

“Aye,”

//

“I don’t understand her.” Chucky feels the need to inform everyone. “But I just one the bet so good on her.”

“Four weeks, of my wonderful flirting, and I’m stabbed in the gut.” Billy groans, and throws is money on the floor. Shaking his head, he gets up and leaves, put out.

Stu sniggers, and gets up to follow him, turning back just to tell the others. “He’ll never recover.”

Freddy looks like he thinks he’s just won an Oscar. “I’d like to say a couple words!”

“Oh, christ.”

“I’d like to thank all my competitors for losing, and uh,” he finishes shining one of his knives on the edge of his jumper. “I promise to say hi to Y/N for you all later tonight when I visit her in her dreams.” Michael facepalms.

Jason Voorhees:

Finally, you decide and nod your head firmly. And exclaim, cheerily. “Jason! He’s perfect, I love, what a guy.”

When you look at Jennifer, immediately you let out a ‘YAH!’ scream and jump back, seeing her horrifying aura.

“I NEW THERE WAS SOMETHING GOING ON!”

“Stop itttttttttt!”

//

Stu facepalms. “Why did I only bet five???”

On the other hand, Michael smirks proudly under his mask, collecting his money. Yep, Jason. What a guy, indeed.

Everyone else, looks to the hockey mask wearing Slasher, who this whole time was against their listening and betting. How will he react?

He… has gone into silent shock. He may need some minutes alone. You… him?? You would pick him??? You… would pick him?? He raises his eyebrows under his mask like ‘Oh’. What is he supposed to do with this information?

“Yeah, I know hockey puck. This may be a shock for you, being ugly and all, but- Jason?”

Jason’s already up walking thoughtfully down the hall.

Michael Myers:

“Ahh, I have to agree with you. Totally Michael.”

“Told you!”

//

Michael but sits and experiences his punishment, which is many, many upset Slasher outcry’s.

“Both of them??!”

“Greedy bitch.”

“How??”

Michael sighs, and turns to an indifferent Jason for help. Jason looks at him and feels zero remorse for him, he brought this upon himself. He should not have been betting and spying.

Stu Macher:

“Well, these are all… interesting choices,” You start, cautious. “But, um… I think will go with Stu. Very cute, very funny. Very not connected to anything rotting, and... less stabby, then the others..”

“Well, that’s true. Probably a good choice.”

“Yeah,” You smile. “Okay, so, moving on. About that movie… “

//

Stu has this goofy ass, shocked, love struck look on his face that makes the rest of them a little nervous for about 2 seconds. Chucky takes the initiative pokes him. “Hey, Daffy Duck, what wrong with your fac- “

The 2 seconds ended, and so does Stu’s quiet, as he lunges up and grabs the doorknob, ready to throw it open and rush on in there and blow all their covers. Michael immediately shoots to action and grabs Stu’s leg to stop him, fighting not to let Stu shake him off. Everyone tries to vein to persuade him not to go, shut him up and clam him down, but their efforts are weak compared to the power of a horny teenager.

“Hey, hey!” Chucky exclaims, through everyone’s panicked whispered, grunts and frantic arm waiving, patting Michael on the shoulder. “… he’s gone.” With that out, Chucky shoots down the hallways as fast as his little legs can take him. Michael and Billy follow, because like hell they are going to get caught because Stu’s stupid, and Stu bursts into living room, revealing the other 3 still on the floor in the doorway… Freddy, incriminatingly on his knees just where the crack in the door would be, slowly, awkwardly waives and Jason bows his head in apology.

Bubba bolts.

[ratingtheframe]

Lights, camera, lockdown! All the films I watched at home this November.

Last month, the UK went on a one month down lockdown, causing cinemas to shut and new releases to be put on hold.

In fact, Christopher Nolan’s Tenet was the only multi million dollar film to be released this year. It’s painful to think that Dune was supposed to be released almost two weeks from now and that we have to wait several months to see the sci fi film hit screens. Despite the post poned releases and closing of cinema chains, there are still some great films I hadn’t seen and used last month as an opportunity to look into them. Even though I didn’t see as much as I did in October, the quality of the films I managed to see this month is high.

His House (2020) as seen on Netflix

Starting off reasonably well with this horror brought to you by Netflix that centers the life around two immigrants and a spirit haunting the new lives they’re trying to build in the UK. It’s certainly a new perspective that I haven’t seen in horror and definitely isn’t a film for the fainted hearted for some of the scenes in this are genuinely terrifying. The overall message was thought provoking and poignant as it sort of spoke for those who’ve lost their lives attempting to seek asylum and those whoa are still struggling to find a new home.

His House is available to watch on Netflix. Score: 9/10  

Nobody Sleeps in the Woods Tonight (2020) as seen on Netflix 

Definitely one of the most surprisingly good films I watched this month, Nobody Sleeps in the Woods Tonight is a classic Netflix horror from Poland. The film follows a group of Polish teenagers addicted to social media who are sent to a camp to curb their addiction. However, when on a hike through the woods, one of the teens goes missing and without a phone to call for help, the kids are forced to face two grotesque monsters feeding upon humans. From start to finish, this film was highly entertaining and had a good structure to it. There were no gimmicks or cliches and it’s definitely a film I’d recommend to just about anyone. 

Nobody Sleeps in the Woods Tonight is available to watch on Netflix. 

Score: 10/10

The Ring (2002) as seen on BBC iPlayer

Gore Verbinski’s (A Cure for Wellness, Pirates of the Caribbean) infamous horror is a cult classic and must watch for scary movie fans. Usually horror films can be too gimmicky and borderline cringey without an ounce of substance to them. However, The Ring is surprisingly good in that it possesses a deep narrative with three dimensional characters, good acting and wonderful direction. When a journalist’s (Naomi Watts) niece dies in unknown circumstances, she embarks on a journey to discover a horrifying tape that if watched, kills you in a week’s time. The box office sales for this film speaks for itself seeing as the film made nearly $130 million when it was released back in 2002. The Ring is certainly not for the faint hearted, so if horror isn’t your thing, I’d advise you stay well away from it. 

Score: 9/10 

Misery (1990) as seen on Netflix

Stephen King’s Misery is turned into an unsettling thriller starring Kathy Bates and James Caan. Author Paul Sheldon (James Caan) ends up getting caught in a snow storm, that seems his car veer off the road, leaving him in a critical state. However, a seemingly caring and selfless woman, Annie (Kathy Bates) takes him in, using her work as a nurse to care for him. It turns out that Annie is a super fan of Paul’s work and the care she has for him soon turns nasty and sadistic, leaving Paul in a panicked state for he is in the middle of nowhere with a practical psychopath. I wouldn’t say Misery is one of best adaptations of King’s novels. There are better pieces of work by Stephen King that have been made into movies such as IT, The Green Mile and 1922. The pace was quite slow and the fact that it took place in only one settling detracted from the progression of the film. However, it’s entertaining, well cast and had a decent story to it. 

Score: 7/10

Drive (2011) as seen on Amazon Prime 

Drive is 1000% one of the best films I’ve seen this year, in my entire life in fact. It’s incredibly bold, ambitious, vivid, subtle and heart wrenching at moments. A stunt driver (Ryan Gosling) is torn between the world of crime he partakes in and the love he has for a young woman (Carey Mulligan) that lives in the apartment next door to his. The subtlety and sensitivity that both Gosling and Mulligan brought to this film was so pure and authentic to their characters, whilst bringing an underlying sadness to the entirety of the film. By the end of the film you want to cry but aren’t sure why and these sorts of films are rare to find. The sound track and SFX in this are unreal, again adding to the confirmation that this film is one of a kind.

Score: 12/10 

Time (2020) as seen on Amazon Prime

I was delighted to see Amazon Prime had put this straight onto their service seeing as I’d missed out on Time during the London Film Festival two months ago. This is one of the most moving and deep pieces of work I’ve seen this year. Time is a documentary filmed over 20 years that details the life of a woman trying to seek justice for her husband who was put in prison for life for armed robbery. Not only is she fighting for her husband, but also her four sons, two of which weren’t even born when their father was put away in jail. Fox Rich lives in Louisiana, one of America’s toughest states when it comes to the criminal justice system. Sentences are of some of the highest in the entire country and are especially harsher to people of colour. Fox and her husband took the fatal and desperate decision to rob a bank in a bid to support their business and family. This drastic choice took Fox’s husband away from his family and for 2 decades, Fox spent time trying to get her husband out of jail. The thing that moved me the most about this documentary was her sons; four beautiful, smart and driven men who grew up without a father. It made me wonder how proud Fox must be of her kids and to see her fight for her husband and remain loyal to him is enough love to last two lifetimes. 

Time is available to watch on Amazon Prime now.

Score: 10/10

The Departed (2006) as seen on DVD

Throughout this two and a half hour film I was wondering how they had managed to get Leonardo DiCaprio, Matt Damon, Jack Nicholson, Alec Baldwin and Mark Wahlberg to do a film together. And the answer is that this epic and high profile movie was directed by the infamous Martin Scorsese. It’s a mystery why I hadn’t seen this film sooner, seeing as it was a huge hit during its release making a staggering $291 million worldwide during its release. This is definitely DiCaprio’s best film (next to Revolutionary Road and The Revenant) and his performance was incredibly punchy and strong throughout. Everyone in this film was top class and the dialogue fitted well with each character with a natural story progression throughout. A top notch, Hollywood, must watch film.

Score: 10/10 

Murder by Numbers (2002) as seen on Amazon Prime

One of Ryan Gosling’s earliest films follows two high school students committing a sadistic murder simply to see just how it feels. Detective Cassie Mayweather (Sandra Bullock) is put on the case to solve the murder and quickly pieces the case together, leading her to Richard Haywood (Ryan Gosling) and Justin Pendleton (Michael Pitt) two students at the same high school. I wouldn’t say this film was bad, however the ending played a big part in the overall quality of the film. It had a good pace and characters, however the ending definitely let down the film for it was rushed and unaligned to the rest of the film. Ryan Gosling’s performance at the tender age of 22 was pretty decent and definitely stated to everyone else his ability as an actor for years to come. 

Score: 7/10

All Good Things (2010) as seen on Amazon Prime

As you can tell by now, I went on a Ryan Gosling whip this month. All Good Things is the true story of David Marks (Ryan Gosling), whose wife Katie (Kirsten Dunst) disappears and still to this day, has never been found. Marks was the prime suspect in the disappearance case but was never found guilty and lives a free man. Even though the story was interesting and the performances good, the fact this is a Weinstein Company Film made it hard to watch, especially with the totally unnecessary nudity and sex scenes that put Kirsten Dunst at its forefront. The film lacked a clear resolution and was left completely open ended like the case of Katie Marks, which is understandable, however not when it comes to making a good film.

Score: 6/10

Borat (2006) as seen on Amazon Prime

After finding the second Borat film to be highly entertaining, I decided to watch the first one and was certainly not left disappointed. The first Borat film introduces us to Kazakstan reporter Borat Sagdiyev (Sacha Baron Cohen) and his first visit to America, whilst taking in all the americanisms to report back to his own country. Soon his pursuit turns to Pamela Anderson whose doing a book signing across in California. The comedy has many jaw dropping moments and sees Cohen above and beyond the boundaries of comedy to bring the character of Borat to life.

Score: 10/10

Boy Erased (2018) as seen on Sky Cinema 

If there’s one film worth watching on this list, it’d be Joel Edgerton’s Boy Erased. This film is the product of a real understanding of film language and the ability to make a beautiful and heart felt story. Edgerton is a well known actor, but has taken time to go behind the camera as well as in front of it in this Golden Globe nominated picture starring the likes of Lucas Hedges, Russell Crowe, Nicole Kidman, Troye Sivan, Xavier Dolan and Joe Alwyn. Like HELLO if that cast isn’t making you immediately turn off this site right now to find Boy Erased, then I don’t know what will. The film based on a true story follows Jared Eamons (Lucas Hedges) and his time spent at a gay conversion centre with fellow homosexuals Gary (Troye Sivan) and Jon (Xavier Dolan). Jared’s father (Russell Crowe) is a pastor he and his wife (Nicole Kidman) take their religion rather seriously, which is why Jared has been forced to seek help for his sexuality. It’s a hard concept to swallow, especially in this day and age when most parents, religious or not, are starting to become more acceptable of their children’s sexuality. This film exposes the reality beyond that and how some parents feel their child is damaged by something completely normal and feel the need to seek help for it. Boy Erased is made with sensitivity and beautiful acting from an a class cast. All round, it’s a perfect film.

Score: 11/10

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2009) as seen on Amazon Prime

I was a little confused starting this film to see it in Swedish, as I thought I was watching the David Fincher film of the same title. However, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo was original a book and the first adapation of it for film was directed by Niels Arden Oplev, two years before Fincher made his version, starring Rooney Mara and Daniel Craig. However, the fact that this version was in Swedish didn’t detract from the thrilling story spun onto screen. The three hour movie follows a journalist whose been hired to solve the mystery of a missing girl who is part of a high profile family. A young female hacker who once hacked the journalist and practically ruined his career, joins him along the way and the pair of them uncover a long string of untold secrets that see blood being split amongst numerous women. It’s one of the best thrillers I’ve ever seen and a must watch if you enjoyed Fincher’s version.

Score: 10/10

Still Alice (2014) as seen on DVD

A highly anticipated film on my part, Still Alice is an arresting and moving film about a mother struggling with on set Alzheimers. Julianne Moore scooped up a Best Actress Award at the Academy Awards in 2015, a Golden Globe and a BAFTA for her performance as Dr Alice Howland and her battle with Alzheimers at the age of 50. Kristen Stewart plays her daughter and Alec Baldwin her husband and their performances are equal to Julianne Moore’s. Overall, this was a touching piece that had soooo much depth to it and yet carried a satisfying simplicity throughout it. 

Score: 10/10

Enemy (2013) as seen on DVD

I heard about Enemy’s synopsis via a YouTube video and was throughly excited to watch it on hearing it was directed by Denis Villeneuve, a master director when it comes to thrillers and sci fi films. Even though Enemy was difficult to fully interpret, I still enjoyed the story and performance Jake Gyllenhaal brought to the table as a man who meets another man that looks exactly like him. There’s some pure mind fuckery that plays throughout the film as you’re left questioning who is this other man or if there are even two men at all. If anything, it’s an exploration of a man having a double life, wrapped up in some sinister secrets and tied between two women. All of Denis Villeneuve’s work is exceptional and Enemy is no different. A must watch for thriller lovers. 

Score: 10/10

A Star is Born (2018) as seen on DVD

Bradley Cooper’s A Star is Born certainly wins the award for making me cry the most this month. The last version I saw of this film starred Judy Garland and James Mason and was centred around a musical actress and the rocky relationship she had with her actor husband. That 1954 version possessed a lot of brilliance and it was easy to compare it to the more modern version starring Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga. Who would’ve thought these two could be such an authentic on screen couple? The songs, the lyrics and the acting that these two brought to this picture was on another level, it was incredible from start to finish. Obviously the fact that this film had been done 4 times before honed the quality of the film, however Bradley Cooper’s direction and ability to bring out the best in Lady Gaga definitely makes this version of A Star is Born the best one yet. This directorial debut was nominated for 8 Academy Awards including Best Picture and Lady Gaga was handed the award for Best Music for a motion picture. Warning: you will cry whilst watching this or at least afterwards. 

Score: 12/10

Sorry to Bother You (2018) as seen on Netflix

Netflix certainly came through this month when it put Boots Riley’s fanatical dark comedy Sorry to Bother You on its streaming service. It’s honestly like nothing I’ve ever seen before and the innuendo and hidden messages within this film make it something that you can watch several times and never get bored of. Cassius Green (Lakeith Stanfield) gets a job as a telemarketer who gets promoted to a “power caller” and through pride and greed, ends up abandoning his ideologies and friends completely. The film speaks for the gentrification of Oakland, California and capitalistic society we live in today. There are many hidden messages amongst the film that at first are hard to decipher, but soon you realise these messages are as clear as day within our own society. Lakeith Stanfield stars alongside Tessa Thompson, Steve Yeun and Armie Hammer, not a cast you’d usually put together but one that certainly worked. Sorry to Bother You is highly entertaining and will definitely make you laugh out loud at points and have you questioning your laughter right after.

Score: 10/10

The Florida Project (2017) as seen on DVD

I’m starting to think that films made between 2017 and 2018 are some of the best ever made and the Florida Project falls into that. I heard about this film through one of my favourite actors and was glad for the recommendation as this film is one of the best I’ve seen all year. The colours and character dynamics are strong and vivid throughout, as we follow the lives of people living on an apartment complex whilst speaking for the child poverty that plagues American society today. Willem Dafoe, who plays the complex’s handy man and security guard, even earned himself a Best Supporting Actor Award at the 2018 Academy Awards. 

Score: 10/10

Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind (2014) as seen on DVD 

Usually I’d pass on a Charlie Kaufman film, seeing as they make no sense, however I felt that it was time I delved into this cult classic starring Kate Winslet, Jim Carrey, Kirsten Dunst, Mark Ruffalo and Elijah Wood. It’s a really well made film with a clear and distinct message to it that’s represented in some phenomenal filmmaking techniques. The plot line of this film follows a man trying to erase a past lover and his memories of her get wiped away physically before your eyes on screen. This film is certainly a conversation starter and one I’d recommend to just about anyone. 

Score: 9/10

Moonrise Kingdom (2012) as seen on DVD

Wes Anderson’s wonderful mind is depicted in this endearing narrative about two children running away from home. This has to one of Wes Anderson’s most iconic films and next to The Grand Budapest Hotel, it’s definitely one of the films you think of when you think of Anderson’s work. His work is known for having well rounded stories, beautiful shots and A List casts, with Moonrise Kingdom being no expection as Anderson manages to squeeze Bruce Willis, Edward Norton, Bill Murray, Frances McDormand, Jason Schwartzman, Harvey Kietel and a young Lucas Hedges into this film. If you’ve seen any of Wes Anderson’s work and not Moonrise Kingdom, get on it now. No, seriously, now. 

Score: 10/10 

Jarhead (2005) as seen on DVD

Sam Mendes’ war film starring Jake Gyllenhaal and Jamie Foxx translates the lives of US soldiers in Iraq onto screen and the brain washing their government has done to boost the importance of the US military and the service soldiers are doing to their country. Jake Gyllenhaal’s execution in this film is a reflection of his ability as a great actor. He always has this patient and gritty approach to his work that makes him addicting to watch on screen. There’s an entire video on YouTube about Jake Gyllenhaal’s eyes and the way they communicate his emotions on screen. This is certainly present in Jarhead, as the anger, frustration, disappointment and despair is held within Jake Gyllenhaal’s eyes throughout. Jarhead was originally a memoir written by a US solider named Anthony Swofford. The only thing I wasn’t a fan of was the open ended resolution to the film and the stagnant progression of Jake Gyllenhaal’s character. He literally didn’t achieve anything, which I suppose is the point of the film and how the honour that soldiers who went to Iraq were supposed to feel, is more of a fantasy than a reality. 

Score: 9/10 

Silence (2016) as seen on BBC iPlayer 

This film was truly summit else and a refreshing turn on genre from highly acclaimed filmmaker, Martin Scorsese. Silence certainly proved that he has the ability to be more sensitive with his films and can tells stories outside his usual New York mobster type movies. The film tracks the journey of two Portuguese missionaries (Andrew Garfield and Adam Driver) in the 17th Century who go to Japan looking for one of their mentors (Liam Neeson). However in this era, Christians faced persecution in Japan and were practically slaughtered for not following the country’s religion of Buddhism. The priests’ journey is perilous and heart rendering as they are forced to abandon their own religion in order to save their own lives and the lives of others. Despite the film being just over 160 minutes, it’s an inspiring story and one that is told in a tactful way. To believe this is a film is quite hard, as the accuracy of it makes it closer to reality than just a film itself.

Score: 8/10

Lynn + Lucy (2019) as seen on BBC iPlayer 

This film recently came out in UK cinemas and was put onto BBC iPlayer due to lockdown. I found it to be interesting and enjoyed the new perspective it gave to quite a simple story. Lynn and Lucy have been friends for almost their entire lives, and when Lucy’s baby boy dies in unexplained circumstances, it drives a wedge between her relationship with Lynn, as people in their neighbourhood accuse her of being a child murderer. Eventually, Lynn stats to believe the rumours herself, leaving her best friend behind and favouring the opinions of those who hardly know her. A great debut and British film, Lynn + Lucy is profound story of friendship. 

Score: 8/10

Revolutionary Road (2008) as seen on Netflix 

Revolutionary Road has a metric score of 60% on Rotten Tomatoes, which I find quite offensive as the film nearly falls into the “thanks but no thanks” category of films. Directed by Sam Mendes and starring Kate Winslet alongside Leonardo DiCaprio, I don’t see what’s not to like. I only clocked halfway through the film why DiCaprio had been cast with Kate Winslet (Titanic, duh) and it made their on screen chemistry more prominent for me. I always say this about EVERY SINGLE Leonardo DiCaprio film I watch, but his performance in this was unreeeaaal. His character went somewhere intense and never returned, making the hardship on screen 10 times more powerful. There’s a scene where him and Winslet’s character are in a full blown argument and DiCaprio’s rage was on another level. Incredibly authentic and honest, Revolutionary Road showcases a wonderful example of when two masterful actors come together to make something great. 

Score: 10/10

Hillbilly Elegy (2020) as seen on Netflix 

Hillbilly Elegy recently got torn to shreds by critics as it was released on Netflix the other week, and I half agree with what most are saying about it, but also feel there’s unnecessary criticisms about this film. The film is based on a memoir of a Yale Law student, J.D Vance (Gabriel Basso) who comes from rough beginnings and ends up building the life he so desired from a young age. His mother (Amy Adams) is a destructive drug addict who’s moods change frequently so that she’s constantly at war with her own mother (Glenn Close) and two children (Haley Bennett and Gabriel Basso). The story follows J.D’s return to his home town to claim his mother from a hospital after she over dosed on heroin. The only problem is, he has an interview with a law firm from Washington the following morning and has to choose between taking care of his mother and landing his dream job. Sounds pretty intriguing, right? And it truly is. The film is laced with conflict and great performances from everyone, however critics have blasted this film with hate, saying that it doesn’t ring true to the entire American experience of living in poverty, without healthcare and enough money to bring food to the table. The fact that J.D made it to Harvard and now works for a successful enterprise somehow detracts from his struggle as a child, which I think is complete BS. I think this film should be taken for more face value than as a political story. It’s a straight talking, rags to riches tale that proves with hard work and dedication, you can transform your struggles into success. One critic had the audacity to say that “Selling out your origins is a kind of white trash cosplay because you were lucky enough to get out”. The irony of this is that the critic herself is white and it suggests had JD been a person of colour, it’d made a better film, which isn’t the kind of world where I want to live in when stories of people of colour are used as poverty porn rather than something to enjoy or learn from. My only criticism of this film would be the pace of conflict within the film and how things went from 0-100 waaay too quickly. This can happen in real life, but on screen it tends to look sloppy and rushed.

Score: 9/10 

And that’s it! A rather short list for this month, but as the year draws to a close, I’m just really excited for the new films hopefully hitting screens next year. Seen you soon!

[ghouliethejoyboy]

New Years: Who Does What

Who Does What

Fun Ghoul: Tends to head his black sand party until the drunks or the Dracs come and break up the fun, at which point, he'll head back to the diner and get loaded as fuck with Poison until they pass out or attempt to have drunken roof sex (attempt being the key word, they usually can't even manage to get their belts off, and yes, the drunken sex attempts happened even before they were together.) They get. Really. Really. Really, obscenely drunk. Cherri tends to bring a large crowd to his black sand parties, and if he’s sober enough, he’ll be down to join some Devil May Care, where the red partakers and black players from Party’s party and his.. death and suffering celebration will mesh together.

Party Poison: He starts off the night at his own red sand party, and occasionally he'll be known to make a show at Pony's silver sand parties for an hour or so. There have been a few drunken kisses, drunken fights, and Poison is usually on SOMETHING by the end of the night. He'll always end up at his own red sand party by the end of the night though, along with the other four. It's sort of a general rule of thumb that the four have to be home and passed out within the red sand lines by sunrise, otherwise he tends to get worried as fuck. Jet stayed at a silver sand party until 6 A.M once and there was hell to pay for not being back in time. Like seriously, don’t mess with Party’s curfews the few times he does set them. Sometimes, the red sand party will move to the fun fair, which isn’t occupied during off season, and they’ll play some Devil May Care with the black sand players from Ghoul’s party.

Jet Star: He probably has one of the most interesting New Years, going from patrolling Yellow's at Neo Pasadena with Mikey, making jokes and cracking a few beers, to being the most fabulous flaunting gay at Pony's parties. One time he got into a slap fight with Chimp after Pony slipped speed into his beer. He has since brought his own beer to said Silver Sand parties. He just BARELY makes it home to the red sand parties in time, which is pretty out of character for him, but New Years he just does whatever the fuck he pleases.

Kobra Kid: Starts off the night with Jet, as said before, but probably most surprising of all, considering his calm nature, he goes and co-hosts Ghoul's black sand party. For the past few years they've been passing each other in kill counts, and it always ends with them having their own fight by the end of the night, but both of them are too drunk to land anything close to real.

The Girl: She starts off the night with Jet and Kobra since the diner is most rowdy at the start of the red sand parties, and then, she'll go off with Jet to silver sand parties, everyone at Pony's party knows better than to fuck with her, because she WILL kick you in the crotch. That's actually how she got banned from Ghoul's black sand parties, where she, surprisingly, did very well for herself. She'll still make an appearance from time to time to light a sparkler into a dead Drac's head. Then, she'll head back to the diner, dance with Poison, he'll even let her have "one sip"... along with the other four, but none of them know the other give her sips, so she ends up having about a full bottle's worth of beer, but she's not about to ruin her fun over this.

Show Pony: As stated before, he heads up his own silver parties, getting so drunk he legitimately cannot remember his own name for a straight week, and usually spends the day after on the couch, groaning and not moving and begging Doc for more beer: "My head hurtsssss beer will numb ittttttt"

Doctor Death Defying: Fucking hell, you didn't think he'd stick around for the Silver parties did you? HELL no, he goes to none other than the most intense black sand party in the zones, Fun Ghoul's, and there's a common saying that the party doesn't start until the doctor is in the house. Any Joys that get hurt at black sands, he'll care for immediately, but any of the Dracs that enter are fair game. He's ended up kicking Fun Ghoul and Kobra Kid's asses a couple of time, he gets pretty wild on adrenaline at those parties.

Tommy Chow Mein: He'll start off the night at some of the tamer silver sand parties, pedaling drugs, as per his usual prickly self, but he will also make appearances at red sands to sell sparklers and more beer for anyone who can still hold it down. He’ll then head to Ghoul’s black sand parties, and most years, he manages to refrain from joining, instead, making sure Doc is alright, providing necessary medical supplies (for a price) to Joys who just don’t know when to step out of the black circle, and although he’ll never admit it, watching Ghoul from a distance to make sure he doesn’t hurt himself. He cares about that greasy fucker, damn it. Cherri Cola: Cherri used to host his own black sand parties, but then his and Ghoul’s congealed into one large party. He’s alright with that though, larger crowd, and that means more Dracs tend to drop by. More kills for him. He’s even started taking his son these past few years. They say Jackie Cola’s a real good shot when his Dad let’s him do more than just watch. They say he might be the next Party Poison. Some say that kid’s already earned himself a name. - Wow, two in one day, and two good ones if I do say so myself. I hope you guys enjoyed, also, for those of you who notice, I did name Cherri Cola’s son in this set of headcanons. Some of you might know, but I do have my own Killjoy roleplay, so I sort of let slip the name we use for Cherri’s son in that roleplay, and if you guys like that, then please let me know, it’d be much appreciated, as I have many more ideas, including Tommy having a son (already named and a character that I’ve established) and a bunch of other fun things that could be cool for headcanons. I’m aware it’s been thought of by a few people that Tommy had a wife and son lost in the war, but I’ve got a few headcanons in the closet stashed about them, including him rescuing his son from the city, and things of that nature, so, PLEASE let me know if you’re interested.

[suspiriu-m]

Examining Youth Culture

Youth Culture in television in cinema is a theme we’ve all seen before. In some way or another, we’ve all probably related or even seen ourselves in something we’ve watched. A lot of experiences we see in these coming of age style pieces most of the time have something to do with at least one of three recurring themes. Sex, drugs and alcohol. Character archetypes are also an important part of these stories too. To sum it up, we’re generally confronted with Jocks, Nerds, Goths, Popular Kids, Pot Heads etc.

A major point to take into account when looking at this type of media is the perspective the story is told from, and where it’s taking place. For example, Barry Jenkins’ 2016 film Moonlight, is completely different from 2018’s Love Simon, directed by Greg Berlanti. Moonlight tells the story of a young Black man named Chiron. Through three different time periods in his life, we see him come to terms with his identity and sexuality, all while living with his drug addicted mother in an impoverished neighborhood in Miami. Throughout the film Chiron not only faces the struggles of his sexuality within himself, but how his unaccepting peers react, his mess of a mother, and maneuvering masculinity without the guidance of his missing father. In a review written for The Guardian, Peter Bradshaw says that Moonlight

“is a film about masculinity, the wounds and crises of which are the same for all sexualities, but conditioned by the background weather of race and class” ((Bradshaw Moonlight review – a visually ravishing portrait of masculinity).

Love Simon however, is a completely different ballgame. The juxtaposition between the two films is extremely noticeable, even from just from looking at their promotional images. While Moonlight is more of a serious, realistic and emotionally charged movie, Love Simon has more of a young adult, coming of age, happily ever after tone to it. In the film, the main character has to find his way through growing up, high school, coming out to his friends and family, but most importantly figuring out how Blue is. Blue is the person that Simon has formed a connection with through emailing each other. The only problem? He has absolutely no idea who Blue even is. One of the more important aspects of this film when looking to compare it to others is the fact that the main character and most of the cast are all white. Not only that, but it takes place in a much more suburban setting compared to that of Moonlight. Simon’s relationship with his parents is very strong, his friends are all super close to him and the impression is given that they would obviously support him once he comes out. Surprise, they do.

In terms of which character I related to from the selection of films and shows assigned, I don’t really feel like I can truthfully say that I felt some sort of connection with them. Being gay myself, there wasn’t a crazy amount of representation in terms of queer youth in the films. Yes in Mean Girls you had Damian but he was kind of underutilized and exaggerated. In Euphoria you have Jules who is a trans woman but that also isn’t something that I’ve experienced and won’t pretend to. Could I relate to a few aspects of her character? Of course, i’m sure anybody can. But am I able to say I identify with her? Definitely not. That’s not a bad thing though, trans stories need to be represented in the media. More importantly they don’t always have to be represented in some tragic story or situation. Even though we’ve seen more queer representation today than ever before. We still have a long way to go. Rachel Bays wrote an article for The Advance-Titan stating

“Out of 109 major studio releases in 2017 researched by GLAAD, roughly 13% had LGBTQ characters. Of these films, about 64% featured gay men, 36% featured lesbians, 14% featured bisexuals and 0% featured trans-inclusive content”(Bays The complicated history of queer representation in film: The Advance).

It’s imperative that we see more queer representation mashed with Youth Culture in our media because not every single person experiences the same thing, especially queer kids. In terms of Kids, Saved By The Bell and Mid 90’s, I don’t specifically remember any particular moments in which I personally felt any sort of strong connection.

Now, if we’re gonna speak about common themes in a lot of these stories, then here is where I can say I definitely connected with some situations more than specific characters. Sex, drugs and alcohol are topics we see come up in a lot of coming of age or youth centered stories. In Kids, the main cast is basically parading around the city smoking, drinking and fornicating multiple times throughout the entire day. In Euphoria, one of the main characters Rue suffers from drug addiction. Kat comes to terms with her sexual awakening and a lot of her storyline is focused on her coming in touch with that side of her, whether or not it was the best way to portray it. And most of the other characters are all seen smoking, drinking out having sex at some point in the series.

Growing up, especially in our teen years, we’ve all had the opportunity to partake in at least one of those activities previously mentioned. I know for a fact that I have definitely been to parties, drank alcohol, smoked weed. I’ve encountered hookups and the whole nine yards. Something that really stood out to me in Euphoria was the episode in which Jules ends up meeting with an older man in a hotel room late at night. We shall not name the character for sake of spoilers but those of you who watched know exactly who i’m talking about. That entire scene was just gut wrenching for me to watch and I know it was for many other young queer people as well. Everything about that scene was purposefully uncomfortable to watch from the cinematography, music, acting and the location.

Speaking of music, the soundtrack to a film or TV show is super important and a lot of the time helps the creators in getting their point across. Euphoria specifically used a lot of modern music but also threw in some classics as well. The singer-songwriter Labrinth played a big role in adding music to the show’s soundtrack. He even collaborated with Zendaya in making All For Us, the show’s theme and closing track. It was premiered in the last episode of the series and incorporated into the storyline with a performance by Zendaya herself. This song specifically is so important aside from the rest of the show’s music because it aids in showing Rue’s downfall at the end of the season. She goes through so much in her recovery and relapsing and her relationship with Jules that when Jules finally decides to hop on that train and leave even though Rue tells her it’s not the best idea, it absolutely crushed her. In an interview for Rolling Stone magazine, Labrinth stated “When you look back to your teenage days... it feels semi-magical but semi-crazy and semi-psychotic. I wanted to make sure the music felt like those things”(Marks How Labrinth Created the Perfect Soundtrack for HBO's 'Euphoria').

To help convey how certain songs can help in telling a story, I created a short playlist with songs that I felt matched certain plot points in the show. Without going into too much detail in an attempt to avoid spoilers, I want to give you guys a short explanation of each song about how I feel it can fit into the show. In no exact order, the first song I chose was Regulars by Allie X. The song is about trying to fit in with society and the people around you when you feel out of place all the time. Personally, I feel like this is a good representation of Rue when she comes home from rehab and has to try and blend back into society knowing that everybody knows where she was. Halsey’s Beautiful Stranger is about meeting somebody after being hurt so many times, or just being in a bad headspace and finally feeling like this person could be the one. This is a good explanation for how Rue feels about Jules when she first meets her. She’s hesitant but slowly starts to fall in love with her before Jules starts acting out. Contaminated by Banks is a piece about loving somebody but having their history or the other person's actions make you feel not so good about the relationship you have with them. This is how Rue feels after her first little fallout with Jules. They kind of have an on and off relationship throughout the season and Rue subconsciously has doubts. Simmer by Hayley Williams is a song about suppression. Suppressing your emotions, especially the bad ones like anger, fear, sadness, rage. Nate in the series suffers with a lot of mental suppression. He suppresses his feelings about his relationship with his father, his questioning sexuality, his feelings for a specific character. Although he does lose his cool multiple times throughout the show, it’s not until the end of the season that he really bursts and lets everything out. Another song from Hayley Williams with her band Paramore called Fake Happy is also on the playlist. Fake Happy, to put it simply, is exactly what the title suggests. Pretending to be okay when you’re really not. In the show Rue relapses a few times whether that be big or small, and she has to hide it from her friends and family.

Maddy and Cassie are both the pretty popular girls of this show, leading me to choose Rina Sawayama’s XS as a representation of them. The title XS, otherwise interpreted as “excess” is literally about money, appearance and materialistic items. All of which Cassie and Maddy display throughout the show. The popular cheerleaders with the nice clothes and toned bodies, the pretty makeup and done up hair. It’s a perfect representation of their characters in my opinion. Even though they do have storylines going deeper into their minds, this is what they portray on the surface level.

Hallucinogenics by Matt Masson is a song about going somewhere else most likely due to drugs, and feeling like a different person. Although the song is a bit lighthearted in terms of sound, I think it fits with the scene with Jules and Rue taking drugs together and tripping in her room together. Rue was wary about doing it especially after the fact that she just got clean, and she already has this war in her mind going on but she does it anyways because she likes Jules. Attack of Panic by Aly & Aj heavily focuses on anxiety, which is something Rue deals with multiple times throughout the show. Especially the episode when she’s in school and pretty much has a mental breakdown and runs to the bathroom and hides. Even though the character Kat isn’t the primary focus of the show, her storyline has a bit of line shined upon it multiple times. For her storyline i chose Doja Cat’s Cyber Sex. Kat becomes a cam girl at one point in her sexual awakening and kind of goes full throttle into it. The song talks about having sexual relations with somebody over the internet and that’s exactly what Kat does, except she sees it more as a way to make an income.

Last but not least, I of course had to choose Labrinth and Zendaya’s song made for the show All for Us. The song represents Rue’s feelings of not wanting to let her family down, knowing the struggles and pain they have gone through and not wanting to upset or disappoint them again. Everything she’s done to get clean and sober up has been because of them. She loves her family so dearly but in the end she just broke down again, all because of Jules and the mess that she got herself involved with pertaining to many of the other characters she meets throughout the show. I hope you guys enjoy the playlist and take a good listen to the lyrics and themes in each song! They might not be perfect, but to me they have a lot of commonalities with themes and specific moments and themes from the show!

https://music.apple.com/us/playlist/playlist-for-euphoria/pl.u-AGAaiylr2l

[lianors]

FOURTH CHALLENGE  — character personality tests for lianor montagu: (4/12)

wc: 1,592 / points earned (thus far): 20

tw: light mention of abusive parental relationship; sexuality discourse (with mentions of: religion, homophobia, internalized misogyny and traditional gender roles); a ridiculous shitload of word vomiting without proofread yike !

1 — creepiest thing about you

𝖗𝖊𝖘𝖚𝖑𝖙𝖘: you are a disturbing control freak — caring for people and things does not work the way you think it does. you are so invested in making sure that everything around you is perfect that instead of showing you care, you plan and control without asking for any input (which, of course, you justify by telling yourself that you aren’t burdening anyone else with extra work). you call this “dedication,” but it’s not - it’s needing personal control so badly that you’ve confused it for real connection — which is not really a great quality in a friend, but a very helpful quality in an aspiring serial killer.

𝖆𝖈𝖈𝖚𝖗𝖆𝖈𝖞: i remember when this challenge first came out -- lmao why am i such a sloth -- i wrote an intricate, awed response at this result, but my computer turned off on itself so i guess i gotta content with this whatever lmao.

anyhow, incrediblé. i believe i have touched on the controlling nature lianor has in her -- it is born from her own mother’s, how the woman had wanted her daughter to be a puppet from a tender age; not to displease beatriz, lia was to assure just that. she easily became a sort of dominating figure in the welsh nursery, gently advising and guiding the royal kids to do her way, which is the right way. unlike her mother, she knew honey would catch more flies than vinegar (a mantra she tries to live by whenever ugly, awfully humane sentiments rush through her) and, thus, lianor continues pulling strings quietly, with a caress there, a gentle word here. 

she grows impatient and vexed as her powers begin to fade on people, and now that she’s older, she more actively struggles against being controlled by others, though she is wise enough to know that, as a woman, in many situations she just will not have control and she must bow her head and follow. still, she tries to manipulate the outcome to favor her in some way, even if it is a minuscule silver lining she clings to in order to maintain her sanity and her illusion of power.

2 — four temperaments

𝖗𝖊𝖘𝖚𝖑𝖙𝖘: your temperament is phlegmatic (15) — the phlegmatic temperament is fundamentally relaxed and quiet, ranging from warmly attentive to lazily sluggish. phlegmatics tend to be content with themselves and are kind. they are accepting and affectionate. they may be receptive and shy and often prefer stability to uncertainty and change. they are consistent, relaxed, calm, rational, curious, and observant, qualities that make them good administrators. they can also be passive-aggressive.

𝖆𝖈𝖈𝖚𝖗𝖆𝖈𝖞: let me just say, i took this test on my first week portraying lia and i got a tie between sanguine and melancholic -- who is lying then?? are you telling me i’ve grown her enough for that to change??? fight me!! but hey at least sanguine and melancholic tied again, only two points behind phlegmatic so!!!

dumbassery aside, i guess this makes sense. as i usually take most of these tests as i am building my muse, i base their behavior on these results as much as the muse that flows through me on the day i am writing, but i think it’s silly to deny this result just for the sake of being a hater -- especially when the phlegmatic result does fit her: lianor is not particularly lazy, as her anxiety and fear of becoming useless makes that an inability, but if she does allow herself a time off, there is little she would really want to do other than partaking in that noble girl lying on a ottoman couch fantasy! 

more importantly, she is definitely on the quiet side, and kindness and warmth are traits she intends to display and, though i haven’t said it outright, i believe it can be assumed rightfully so that she is a good administrator, with a good head for finances and overall stability over risk.

3 — tea type

𝖗𝖊𝖘𝖚𝖑𝖙𝖘: chamomile tea — you are a warm blanket in the form of a human. you’re welcoming and comforting, and loved ones know they can turn to you when they need a hug or a soothing word. you appreciate the cozy things in life, like wrapping up in a blanket and listening to the rain. in a world full aggression, competition and noise, you believe there’s bravery in being soft.

𝖆𝖈𝖈𝖚𝖗𝖆𝖈𝖞: reading this blurb makes me feel so uwu, in a very romantic way i imagined when i first wrote lianor (if you ignore how big of an angst whore i am lmao), so sure, i will take it. lia intends to be this sort of safe, cozy harbor for her loved ones, where they all can forget of the harsh realities of ruling -- though she found herself quite able to do so before, she becomes more cynical, and fearful this ability will become an impossibility soon enough (which in return makes her despise those she judge that are to blame for this demystification of her idyllic world).

4 — sexuality

𝖗𝖊𝖘𝖚𝖑𝖙𝖘: for 40% you are heterossexual. this means that you are attracted only to the opposite sex. this is the most accepted and ‘normal’ sexuality, so don’t worry about fitting in with sexuality -- you will be fine.

you could also get this result:

for 30% you are bisexual. this means that you are attracted to both sexes. this sexuality is very broad -- you can love whomever you want. in reality, both boys and girls. it’s also fairly accepted, as you are both straight and gay.

𝖆𝖈𝖈𝖚𝖗𝖆𝖈𝖞: as someone with about 5 scorpios in my zodiac map, i have no qualms about discussing sex and sexuality in any way, so this is going to be an interesting ride. as always, i thought i should discuss character origins, as lianor really has bloomed ever since i began planning her, to as she was actually played. so, originally, she was as straight as a board -- as someone who has had primarily one romantic and sexual connection, she remains constant with her affections and desires, which are invested on a cismale, as it should be expected for a pious noblewoman as she is. thus, i insisted she was a hetero for quite a bit, only for her to come at me and make me proud with just a huge amount of gay -- god i love one (1) sapphic babe! because, well, i envisioned her relationship with the princess of england as one of sisterly love, but because there was a sapphic route me and the princess’ former player went by, i am interested in discussing that again with her player (who shall hopefully be here soon). 

lia enjoys women -- she thinks they are gorgeous, strong beings, and she also envies them, well rooted in the environment she is at. the fateful night she did engage in intercourse with one, she powered through with mild distaste, making her purpose to appeal for the male gaze, to prove to her male partner she was not just another whore he would take to his bed and forget the next morning. she claims kissing women have become a boring affair, that she has tired of pretending and would rather go for the real thing -- a man, in which she would be expected to conceive with -- but everything she speaks must be taken with a grain of salt, since this is the 15th century and even if there is no penis, so there is no sodomy, a love for a woman that is something more than fraternal is wrong, for a woman is made for a man, and she believes she has already found her match.

this single sexual encounter and her insistence in telling herself she is disgusted by homosexuality rings to me not only of religious-infused prejudice, but also of a notion many claim secondary: the ace aspect. being a literal assexual definitely does not work for lianor, who has fire running in her veins and is not at all against asking for her earthly desires to be quenched by the right man -- but demisexuality’s definition interest me a lot; demisexuals require a good amount of bonding to be able to enjoy the sexual act -- they may do it anyways, as i know people in real life to have done and as lia does in her marital bed, but enjoying it is a whole other thing. thus, it makes sense she could not find sexual joy in a random encounter that was fashioned more to please her partner than herself. when she did think of a woman she had a deep connection with -- her dearest french penpal -- though there was an immense shame, lia found no difficulty in enjoying herself.

however, again, this should all remain entirely circumstantial due to the mentality of the century; she would rather not strain from what is normal, and resign herself to her feminine position, in which she should please her man and bear his children, regardless of her own pleasure in the matter. female friendships should remain just that, and otherwise she would seek to distance herself from the personification of sin for her own sake. to go through with modern, anachronistic notions would strip the verse of what it is and instead would make me speak of the bi icon lianor beauchamp that was born in the 1990s -- and that is a whole other talk.

[aion-rsa]

G. L. Carriger’s The 5th Gender is a Genre-Smashing Good Time

http://bit.ly/2HtWppx

G.L. Carriger successfully combines mystery, science fiction, romance, and comedy in this space station-set tale of murder.

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While plenty of books cozy up with multiple genres (urban fantasy in particular likes to blend the lines of mystery/fantasy/romance elements), there are very few—if any—that successfully combine as many as G. L. Carriger’s The 5th Gender, a cozy mystery science fiction and queer romantic comedy with a healthy dose of social commentary. That Carriger decided to combine all of these is an epic undertaking, but that she succeeded not only in creating something entertaining, but also powerful, is a true delight.

read more: Best New Non-Western Fantasy Epics

The 5th Gender, the first installment in the planned Tinkered Stars Mystery series, begins with a great deal of silliness. We meet Tristol, a lavender galoi alien with prehensile hair, takes on the challenge of cat sitting for human friends, totally distracted by his human crush, Detective Drey Hastion. Drey is on the security force for the space station where they both live, and while they run into each other frequently, Drey tries to avoid Tristol—because Drey is just as attracted to Tristol as Tristol is to him.

Unfortunately, the galoi have a reputation for being promiscuous, and Drey knows he’s a one-man type of guy. But, taking a page from category romance, Carriger heats up their attraction (and relationship) reasonably quickly in the early pages, while also introducing a number of world-building elements about the galoi, other aliens, and the future of humanity.

Tristol’s people have five genders and a very codified society that dictates the roles of these genders. Those who cannot conform to the expectations of society become zyga, or exiles, never able to return to their home planet or live among their very social people. The zyga are the only galoi that live among aliens; Tristol is one of these, and has come to terms with what it means to be a galoi who is no longer recognized as a person by his own species.

read more: Best New Young Adult Books

Though the codified society might seem heavy, it’s introduced in such a light and frequently humorous way that it never interrupts the tone of the story, not even when a galoi ship contacts the space station, requesting the services of a detective. Let the mystery begin...

There has been an intentional death on the ship—the galoi have no word for murder; they are long-lived and not terribly fertile, so the idea of killing galoi another intentionally is inconceivable. Drey, the station’s best trained and most experienced detective, is sent to investigate, and Tristol, as a non-person to the other galoi, goes along as a language and culture translator, completely ignored by the galoi due to his status.

The murder victim is the same gender as Tristol, and Tristol immediately feels a great empathy for the victim. Meanwhile, Drey has to navigate an alien culture and alien way of thinking while using detective skills honed among humans.

read more: Best New Fantasy Books in May 2019

Switching back and forth between Tristol’s point of view and Drey’s, the narrative manages to capture Tristol’s completely alien, yet still human way of thinking. Galoi language and aesthetics are precise and laden with meaning, and Tristol gets terribly, humorously excited about the prospect of being able to dress Drey and buy socks for him.

Tristol frequently gets excited about simple things: his childlike delight in learning and experiencing something new, combined with the complete lack of sexual inhibitions of his people, create a sense of a character who is at once innocent and worldly, without every putting them in contrast. He’s an utterly likable protagonist, and his likability is an integral part of his character: everybody likes Tristol. It’s hard to imagine how his own people could even consider rejecting him.

read more: Best New Science Fiction Books in May 2019

Drey—a large, no-nonsense, dark-skinned and haired, human detective—intentionally acts gruff around Tristol to defend his own heart, and is a wonderful balance of outward strength and inward vulnerability. He is not quite the alpha-male so common in romance novels, though he shares some of their heroic characteristics; he is also, in his own words, “so... gay I shit sparkles,” and is a lover so open and giving that Tristol’s long-unrequited affection for him is immediately understandable.

Carriger plays a great deal with Tristol’s idea of aesthetics, in which having skin, hair, and eye-color all in the same palate, as close together as possible, is sheer beauty—an aesthetic that, with his all dark-toned features, Drey clearly fulfills.

read more: The City in the Middle of the Night Review

While some of these dynamics may play a little more comfortably for readers familiar with category romance novels (the sex scenes here are certainly as graphic and creative as category romances strive to be), the world-building has the depth that science fiction readers crave, and the cozy mystery plot, though frequently interrupted by the other two aspects, hangs together well, hitting all the right emotional points.

The humor becomes less frequent as the investigation comes to its rather serious conclusion, and as it becomes clear that “choosing” to become an exile rather than fulfilling the role society expects is not a choice at all. A one-off line about the way that humanity used to treat GLBTQIA+ teens, and the way that those teens suffered greater health risks than their peers due to societal stress, puts the conversation in blunt relief. For Tristol, becoming the person society meant for him to be was impossible. Exile wasn’t a choice, it was the only way for him to be himself, to live up to his potential.

read more: Space Operas to Look Forward to in 2019

In Carriger’s future, GLBTQIA+ teens no longer face those societal pressures. While there is a healthy gay club scene and, yes, many clubbers partake of one-night stands, gay culture is embraced and accepted. Human marriages are not limited to one man and one woman; a woman might have two or three husbands, and two men—even if one is human and one is not—can marry without censure.

By showing that freedom that humanity has embraced (though humans certainly still have hang-ups about sex, according to other species), and contrasting it with the rigidity of galoi society, Carriger reminds readers of how far modern humanity has to go in accepting a normal beyond cis-heterosexual. But, even for the galoi, she offers a hair of hope at the end, and a reminder that the power to change and become lies in the stories we tell each other. Even stories about adorable lavender aliens and their human crushes.

Gail Carriger's The 5th Gender will be released on May 18th. You can order it via Amazon or your local independent bookstore.

Alana Joli Abbott writes about books for Den of Geek. Read more of her work here.

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Feature Alana Joli Abbott

May 14, 2019

Science Fiction Books

Romance Books

from Books http://bit.ly/2VAAirq

[annbrighthaus-blog]

Erotica, for those who don’t already partake, is any work of art with sex as a central focus – and the reason for consumption – that does not cross the line into pornography. This includes photography, literature, dance, sculpture, film, and really any medium that captures the human form and appetites in a compelling and sexy way. The definition is a bit vague. And pornography is hard to define as well, as the Supreme Court can attest, so erotica has, in some circles, garnered a reputation for being more sophisticated pornography, and in others, it’s just diet-porn. The recent SESTA/FOSTA acts further illustrate how difficult and problematic it is define pornography and other levels of sexual content.

However, erotica serves an important purpose for a great deal of the population, and can enhance your erotic ardor in ways that regular, garden-variety porn cannot (though porn can be great, too), because sometimes it’s fun to take a minimalist approach and leave the rest to your imagination. Exploring erotica can enrich your feminist sex life, partnered or not, so whether you’re new to erotica or an erotica diehard, read our recommendations for our favorite feminist erotica and some hands-free toys, too!

A Brief History of Erotica

Once upon a time, long before 50 Shades of Gray became a household name, dinosaurs roamed the earth. And soon after, dino-porn probably came along. Porn has likely existed as long as humans have. It’s a tale as old as time; with each new technological invention comes the aftermath of how it can be used for sexual purposes. The printing press was invented and immediately came the list of books that were to be banned; with the daguerreotypecame pictures of erotic acts for the first time (rather than drawings). Soon after, government officials around the world took to seizing any lewd photos they found. Erotica has a rich and varied history, and sex geeks or history buffs will definitely want to check out The Whores of Yore, a sex positive website that advocates on behalf of sex workers. Not only is there fascinating information on sex, sex work, and old-timey sex phrases, the NSFW photos dating back from the 1800s are beguiling on both intellectual and sexual levels. Typically, the pictures are geared toward people attracted to women, but it is fun for anyone to see how many activities that some might categorize as new and edgy are, in fact, old and traditional.

Why You May Want to Give Our Favorite Feminist Erotica a Try

Why should you branch out from your regularly-scheduled porn regimen? Lots of reasons! For instance, maybe your interests lie in more intense fantasies – fantasies you’re not sure you’d feel comfortable watching actually occur. Erotic literature can help get your creative juices flowing and be a good testing ground, without having an image in your head that you can’t un-see. Plus, your imagination is vast and often far more delectable than what can be conceivably performed by porn actors on a porn-flick budget.

Further, people of demisexual orientation may find a greater affinity toward erotic literature than porn. In a book, you can build a strong emotional tie to a character, something much more meaningful than a pizza deliverer bringing hot sausage and an order of buffalo wangs to your door. The sex scenes often have more depth, even if they are casual in nature. And, just like porn, erotica contains multitudes. If you can dream it, chances are, it already exists. Into BBW who are into shapeshifters? Yep, that’s a thing. Lesbian werewolves with penises? Goofy, pun-laden, Santa smut? Campy, absurdist tales of a gay dinosaur? Check, check, and check. On screen, these would all be totally ridiculous. But in your mind’s eye, there’s only a very good chance that they’ll be ridiculous. Yet, sex and desire as a whole could benefit from a bit less gravity, a bit more humor, and a lot more acceptance.

Also, as it can be hard to find porn that feels welcoming to people with vulvas, and erotica is not fundamentally different. Marquis de Sade, a French writer from the 1700s, wrote books so brutal that the term sadism was coined for them. So, it’s good to know going in what you like and what’s off the table. But now, there’s a lot more readily-available, femme-friendly reads.

If you’re looking for something academic, look no further than Anais Nin; in particular, Delta of Venus. Part memoir and part short-story anthology, this book pioneered the way for literary erotica to make its way in to the mainstream. It is very ahead of its time as far as steering clear of slut-shaming and being sex positive. The Proof of the Honey by Salwa Al Neimi is a lightly erotic book that stars a young, Syrian academic who journeys through her own sensual self-realization. Tipping the Velvet by Sarah Waters is an exquisite historical-fiction-style dive into gender roles, sexuality, and a lesbian relationship framed in the asphyxiating backdrop of Victorian-era England. More straightforward erotica, such as Curvy Girls: Erotica for Women and Take Me There: Trans and Genderqueer Erotica are also some of our favorite feminist erotica titles. Lastly, Nancy Friday’s My Secret Garden is a compilation of real women’s fantasies and reads as hot today as it did back in the 1970s when it was first published.

If you look for free online stories, the old adage “you get what you pay for” definitely applies here. Skip free sites like literotica.com, which don’t maintain editors or style guidelines and are often riddled with typos, plot holes, and even name changes – and those things can really wreck the mood. That caveat aside, the Sugarbutch Chronicles are a fun, queer, kinky ride. Bust has a great publication called one-handed reads. Whatever you do with your other hand while you read is your business.

Like too many other things in 2018, a lot of books in this genre don’t have appropriately labeled trigger warnings or blur the line of consent. It’s best to find an author you love and trust, and stick with them, if you’d prefer to avoid those waters.

Sometimes, reading non-fiction, “how-to” type books can be enough to get you in the mood. If you’re interested in learning how to top or learning how to bottom, these books provide admission into the kink scene and enough explicit details that you will likely know by the end whether or not you’d be into it. Or, give Sex for One by Betty Dodson a read, which is a turn on to all the ways you can explore self-pleasure and your body, with concrete techniques for you to try.

Some Accompaniments

Spend some quality time with yourself, a good book, and a good toy – perhaps something hands-free. That way, there’s nothing between you and that next steamy chapter. Why not try the Stronic G Pulsator by Fun Factory? A totally unique vibrator that has the capacity to thrust, leaving your hands to your favorite book while it pulsates away. Both your g-spot and your brain will be stimulated.

Folks with penises could cuddle up with a good book and the Pocket Pulse by Hot Octopuss! This toy is a stroker that has hands-free capability once the user is erect.

People with vulvas can keep their nose in a book and an Eva II by Dame between their legs for hands-free clitoral stimulation. Also fun for partnered sex, this cute little vibrator has three vibration settings and is waterproof for those who like to read and play in the tub.

Vibrant Has All the Body Safe Toys (and Books) You Need

Vibrant has an array of body-safe sex toys for every body. Check out our curated collection of toys and books, too! Or, chat with us, and we can help recommend the product that’s perfect for you. We’re available 9am-9pm EST daily on our website chat (just push the purple button at the bottom right!) or call us at 866-316-VIBE(8423).

[weebrecs]

Fujoshi Handbook: Live Action BL Films and Dramas

I’ve noticed a large gathering of lost souls looking of BL Live Action Films and Dramas, but aren’t sure where to look. Fret not, for I’ve created the following list to get you started. 

2Moons (10/10): A film that centers around three interlocking couples that attend college and their attempts to fall for each other. The couples include: Wayo and Phana (main couple) who had crushes on each other in high school, Ming and Kit (side couple) who are Wayo and Phana’s best friends respectfully and are enemies turned lovers, and the last couple is Forth and Beam which have yet to develop in season one. The story centers around the competition for campus Moon. Thailand, Drama, 12 episodes

A Round Trip to Love (8.5/10): Gay relationships aren’t always greeted with sunshines and rainbows. In this case when their families discovered their love one of them was sent to another country. However, their love story isn’t over. They meet several years later as boss and subordinate and now must maintain their secret, or risk being separated once more. China, 2 Movies

Bite Fight (7.5/10): Thomas is now enslaved in a vampire’s house and all those old folk lore about how to get rid of a vampire don’t seem to be working such as silver and garlic. Trapped, he learns that everyone has forgotten about him and that this vampire is also holding secrets to Thomas’s past. In the meanwhile, vampire hunters are coming to kidnap him because he knows the whereabouts to a secret magical book. Not going to lie to you the trailer looked epic and the film fell a little short, and the special effects are nothing to write home about. But the the storyline is still interesting. China, Movie

Doushitemo Furetakunai (8.5/10): When Shima arrives at his new job he’s determined not to get attached to anyone and just live a normal life. However, when he meets his boss, drunk in the elevator on the first day he can’t help but feel like everything’s about to change. His boss constantly makes excuses to be with Shima until one night he kisses Shima. And the rest is history. Shima tries to prevent himself from falling, but he can’t help his own heart. This is based off a manga! Japan, Movie

Go! Go! G-Boys (10/10): A-Hong’s girlfriend is a real hassle: she spends way too much money and now A-hong owes thugs 10 million. In order to save his own skin he joins a gay beauty contest with his best friend A-Shin (who secretly likes him) to win the grand prize of 10 million. The only catch: anyone who isn’t gay can’t compete. So A-Hong needs to pretend to be gay. During the contest he slowly comes to realize that he doesn’t really love his girlfriend, he’s more comfortable with the other gay contestants, and his true feelings for A-Shin. However, he might realize all of these too late. With the competition drawing to a close their friendship will be tested as well as their morals. There are plenty of humorous moments to get your through the serious scenes. Taiwan, Movie

HIStory: My Hero (7.5/10): After his girlfriend dies she ends up bribing a genie to allow her to swap souls with someone else to return to her boyfriend. It just happens that a boy that her boyfriend knew is scheduled to die. After jumping into his body she aims to make her boyfriend re-fall in love with her (even though she’s in a boy’s body). As time passes she learns that her boyfriend never really loved her and that he actually loves that boy that she’s possessing. Taiwan, Movie

HIStory: Obsessed (10/10): After receiving terrible news from his betraying boyfriend, Shao Yi Chen runs into the street and is killed by a speeding vehicle. When he opens his eyes he’s transported 9 years into the past and swears that he won’t fall in love with his boyfriend, thus he won’t fall for his boyfriend’s lies, and won’t die again. However, that’s proving to be difficult when his boyfriend is struggling to make them a couple once more. Will Shao Yi Chen be able to say no to the man that he’s loved for nine years in order to save his own life? Taiwan, Movie

HiStory: Stay Away From Me (8.5/10): After his mother remarries Cheng Qing’s new step brother moves in with him, but they don’t get along at all. The first issue might be the fact that his new step-brother is a famous celebrity who is completely selfish. However, they quickly warm up to each other and soon the question of what’s right and wrong come up. But never fear, Cheng Qing’s best friend is a Fujoshi helping their romance behind the scenes. Taiwan, Movie

Junjou (9.5/10): After going out for drinks, Tozaki reveals his crush for Kurata that he’s been hiding since high school. That night they end up sleeping together and now their relationship is not lovers, but not really friends. Sex friends would be the most accurate, but then their feelings start meddling. This is also based on a manga! Japan, Movie

Just Friends (8/10): While being on leave from the military Min-soo informs his mother that his “friend” is coming over to spend some time. Everything is going great for them as they steal silent moments and kisses behind people’s backs. However, when Min-soo’s mother catches them their lie of “Just Friends” shatters. South Korea, Movie

Like Love (10/10): It started as a dare to see if An Ziyan liked guys. Soon Mia Ding found himself drawn to the rich, handsome loner. Together they overcome social beliefs that are thrown upon them and stand up for what they believe in. They also face the anger of both of their families that are conservative and want them to be a “proper members of society”. They partake in steamy sex scenes and scandals. Together they’ll make you laugh, cry, and cheer for their victories. Sadly the third season has been canceled because the main actor decided to go live his dream of being a singer instead of a seme T_T China, Drama, 15 episodes

Love Love You (Love’s Coming) (9.5/10): A group of boys suspect that two of their friends are actually in love, and they come up with complex theories on how they can prove that they are together. It’s a heartwarming story of falling in love with your best friend with a large spoonful of comedy to make sure you leave with a smile on your face. The second movie talks about having a long distance relationship. Thailand, 2 Movies

Red Balloon (8.5/10): Chen’s father is a gang leader so he has high expectations thrust upon him. He’s top of his class, good at sports, and good looking on top of everything. He hates people who don’t try, but one day he meets Wan who is his exact opposite. They are drawn to each other, but with everyone against them they’re not sure if they can make their love last. Taiwan, Drama, 8 episodes

Right By Me (9/10): the story follows three boys as they struggle with coming to terms with being gay, having others accept them, and learning to love others. This movie plays out as a love triangle with the best friend falling in love with his friend that loves the basketball star. However, unlike most love triangles this one doesn’t get much friction because the main characters know who they love. The characters show human weaknesses and grow stronger by the end of this film. There’s a rumor that a second film is coming out soon. Thailand, Movie

Seven Days (10/10): Seryou Touji has a rule: He’ll go out with the first person that asks him out at the beginning of the week, but he always dumps them by the end of the week. Through a series of strange events Shino finds himself outside with Seryou and out of curiosity asks him out. Seryou agrees and thus their seven days begins. Shino starts developing feelings and also learns how Seryou's pushing away all of his girlfriends from previous weeks. Now he struggles to make sure that he won’t be just another week long fling. Based off a manga! Japan, 2 Movies

Sotus: The Series (7.5/10): The Sotus system is basically a hazing system where the upperclassmen teach the underclassmen their place and make them earn their place in the college through discipline and hard work. Sotus tells the story of the lead hazer and the underclassmen rebel’s love story. Thailand, Drama, 15 episodes

Udagawachou de Matteteyo (8/10): Momose one day sees his fellow male classmate dressed like a girl and now his attention is immediately drawn to him. During school while Yashiro is in his normal clothing Momose can’t stop watching him. Momose finally approaches him and their relationship will never be the same. Yashiro starts to worry that Momose only likes him as a girl and not for himself. Based on a manga! Japan, Movie

[gsuandrewtruong]

6/16 Striking Vipers/Raj

Striking Vipers is one of the most memorable Black Mirror episodes for many reasons. It depicts two masculine black men discovering themselves through sex in a video game. Danny is in a marriage that, even though he loves his family, he seems to be a bit unhappy with. Karl is his college friend that never really managed to settle down. Through the episode, we see Danny and Karl partake in several sex acts via a virtual reality video game. The key thing I realized when they’re in the video game is that Karl picks a female character and Danny a male character. So when they have sex with each other, really Danny is having sex with a young Asian female and Karl is having sex with a young Asian man. My understanding is that Danny isn’t quiet queer. From his perspective, he is cheating on his wife with a younger woman. From Karl’s perspective, he is living his closeted dream of being able to be with another man instead of having to pretend to like being with women. Both men are getting what they want out of the relationship and it only beings to unravel when Danny comes to the realization that it’s not really a woman he’s having sex with but his male best friend. This was something that I found really interesting being brought up in class. It can be seen as a reflection of men on the gay dating app grindr using the app only as a way to experiment with their sexuality. Then as soon as they realize that it marks them as gay, they are very quick to disavow any involvement in the community and any activities involved. This is also something discussed by Raj in his article about the politics of Grindr. There’s a correlation between what Raj says about how many in the queer community prefer Whiteness as an attractive feature and how the characters in striking vipers are black men using Asian characters. Raj mentions  “‘passing’ with my pseudo-British accent, added to my desirability as a non-white subject.” when he was trying to match with other men on Grindr. It’s an incredibly interesting parallel with Striking Vipers and how the characters play with Asian avatars.