#and bentinck and keppel and charles

[defensivelee]

I have created. another AU. as you may have noticed, most of my AUs are just general vibes in my head BUT THIS ONE. NOT THIS ONE. like Alien Alien, this one has an immeasurable amount of worldbuilding and dynamics already figured out partly because I was turning it around in my head for like a month or so and I think it’s too developed to not yell about it here

it was inspired by a variety of Japanese music videos, mostly by TOOBOE’s “Tablet” and then a ton of MASA WORKS DESIGN’s stuff. if anything MWD is like. the soundtrack for it i actually made a playlist if you wanna see (it’s literally all MWD oh my god)

anyway read on for screamings about the weird modern fantasy mafia AU called Six Lives Won’t Make You Happy, or if you don’t have much time, Six Lives.

This is a world completely different from ours. Once upon a time, devils from an unknown realm ruled the world, but once humanity began to assert itself, they went back to wherever they came from. What they left behind were their descendants, crossbred with humans that continued to spread throughout the globe. To this day, their descendants carry on the legacy of the devils.

The main story takes place in the city of New Amsterdam, and as to what the name refers to is up to interpretation. This is also in the modern day, or at least some kind of modern time...it’s definitely not ours.

Humanity

About 60% of humanity is descended from the numerous devils of antiquity. What they have to show for their devil ancestry are their tails, horns, markings, and other features on their bodies that weren’t seen on humans before the devils. That’s all pretty normal to see on a human, but not all descendants of the devils have those features, so it’s not always easy to tell the difference between someone who came from devils and someone who didn’t, and to see exactly which kingdom they are descended from is even harder.

Of course, they’re the dominant species now, but absolute deference to the devil ancestors is expected. However, the devils aren’t worshipped so much as the Allies are.

Allies

As revered as they are reviled, these are humans bound to the souls of actual devils, not descendants. It is required, in fact, that the human not be a descendant of a devil, otherwise that would make the whole soul-binding event more difficult if the devil had to fight against the rival devil blood within the human.

Today, what some devils need to keep surviving is a human host, but they do not take over human bodies fully. Far from it, actually. A human will seek out a devil that has now been freed from their recently deceased host, and if this human successfully conquers the devil in battle, they will receive the powers of the devil. These greatly vary depending on the individual. The devil essentially lies dormant in the human body until the human dies and the cycle repeats again. The surefire way to tell if someone is an Ally is to look if they have tear-like markings under their incredibly dark eyes.

Allies are worshipped in this society as devils in the real world, and once a human becomes one with the devil they defeated, they become the revered image of that devil. The devil itself is not worshipped, the human is. They are called Allies because they “close the gap between humanity and its ancestors.” There are about 200 Allies in the world at one time, and they receive prayers from all around the world to them. What these Allies do is...really nothing, a few hours a day they’ll sit around and receive visitors to hand out blessings and advice, and of course receive “donations.” As the world has developed around them, so too has the mode of worship, and these Allies have become more like celebrities than anything.

Of course, some still try to do their job, but others really get into it for the fame and money. That is why in most countries their existence is heavily regulated and it is usually politicians that are the Allies. Even then, they must have “handlers” around them at all times, known more accurately as devil tamers, who know how to neutralize their powers should they lash out for any reason.

Not everyone worships the Allies for the reason that they are dangerous, and the fact that many of them are frauds. Many organized crime groups have Allies under them and use them simply to win more money, and not just with donations. With what is essentially a domesticated devil under their control, the possibilities are as endless as they are bloody!

Dwaallicht Spirits

Also known as dwaallicht remnants, these are lower-class devils that are much more abundant and older than their more powerful counterparts. They come from the ancient energies that created the universe and world itself, known as dwaallichten. Over time, the dwaallichten faded away, leaving only remnants that continued to create demonic life on the surface of the Earth.

These spirits vary even more in power and appearances than the greater devils do. Some are only as intelligent as fish, others can impersonate humans. Some lasted only a year, others are immortal. Some can only be classified as “breeds”, and still others are famous throughout history for their numerous interactions with humans.

What they really like to do is mess with humanity, tricking them and scaring them, sometimes even killing them. Thus they are seen as pests more than anything, as they are much easier to get rid of than the greater devils, and whole companies exist that promise to do exactly that!

Overlifers

The Overlifers are not allowed to live. These are humans who have made contracts with devils and took on numerous challenges to gain six lives, five more than anyone else. They are easy to spot with their eyeliner-like markings around their eyes and the curling marks on their cheeks, if you knew that that was what those markings meant. Their name is a portmanteau of the words “overdose” and “life.”

Overlifers are typically associated with leading crime organizations and terrorist groups such as the Disciples of Restoration. They can live for a very long time if they preserve their lives carefully, as aging is significantly slowed down until they reach their sixth life. They are generally more powerful than normal humans and that power can swell greatly if they train it enough, which is part of why they're illegal.

Not much else is known about them, but they are thought of as having incredibly irritating god complexes, so much so that it is common to jokingly ask someone who is acting perhaps more arrogantly than they should, “Have you received your six lives yet?” This isn’t entirely wrong.

Whoever dares to defy even the Allies themselves by gaining what is most certainly an unfair advantage towards them is probably a very, very terrible person...

Character List

Mary II: One very popular streamer with adoring fans and a not-so-adoring family. Strangely, she has no features of her devil ancestors, leading to her father calling her an angel constantly. Despite what her internet persona may display, she is very aware of whatever darkness her father runs and in fact may be a willing participant in it...

Anne: Was put in charge of discovering who murdered her uncle against her will. She’s not sure she likes what she’s finding. She’s aware that it’s sort of a wild goose chase when the murderer and his accomplices keep chasing her into dead ends, but out of defiance she’ll keep looking, if only to topple the leadership of the Disciples of Restoration once her suspicions are confirmed.

Charles II: The joyful leader of the infamous Disciples of Restoration! He ran it pretty well (as well as you can run criminals, anyway), and his mysterious death (that isn’t actually so mysterious) is the inciting incident of this universe. Stranger still was that as an Overlifer, he technically had three lives left on that night.

James II: The leader of the Disciples of Restoration after his brother’s death. He intends to preserve all of his lives very carefully, but Jimmy doesn’t always get his way. He also intends to actually carry out the vision that the Disciples always had in mind, but never really get around to doing it: unite the devils and humans under the rule of the Overlifers.

Maria Beatrice: One of the few women involved with the leadership of the Disciples, mostly because her husband leads it. She has the rare ability to control and summon anybody linked to the devils, even the devils and Allies themselves, which is infinitely useful to James. However, she despises the Overlifers for their defiance towards the devils and doesn’t believe in the authority of the Allies, instead looking to the ancient devils and even the dwaallichten for guidance.

Duke of Monmouth: A dwaallicht spirit who was taken in by Charles an Undetermined Period of Time ago. He can shapeshift into a variety of animals, but mostly presents as a human that takes more or less after the appearance of Charles. One of his favorite things to do as a spirit is wait by the entrances of houses and if you happen to forget anything as you exit, he’ll attack you. James finds this increasingly irritating.

William III: A secret Overlifer who holds the greatest power humanity may ever know, if only he knew how to harness it. He’s technically not a politician, just a guy with interesting opinions and a platform. He’s also the leader of the Devils of Orange-Nassau, which more or less has the same motivations as the Disciples except it’s William’s smarter, but no less violent, edition.

Hans William Bentinck: New Amsterdam’s newest Ally, associated with loyalty and honesty. If you want a faithful partner or a good friend, he’s the guy you pray to. Unlike most Allies, he tries to do his job as best as he can, despite only becoming an Ally at William’s urging. He’ll try to advise you as best as he can without a degree in psychology. One of his powers as an Ally is the ability to deliver a bite that can paralyze and knock you out before you even realize what happened.

Anne Villiers: One of the Ally Bentinck’s regulars and a slightly less popular streamer than her friend Mary. She’s no stranger to the things Mary is involved in and has more than once assisted her with the tasks James demands of her. She puts her faith in Bentinck most of all, the truest Ally there is...but surely he would never look at her the way she sees him. Does he even know her name?

John Churchill: A famous actor as well as a beloved Ally, associated with bravery for the many dramatic roles he has played. Technically he’s not supposed to be an Ally, but the authorities can let it slide for a celebrity like him. Less known are his associations with the Disciples of Restoration. He’s also surprisingly easy to kidnap, if anybody ever wanted to do that for some reason.

Arnold Joost van Keppel: An ancient and famous dwaallicht spirit that can disguise himself as a fox, or as a human with fox ears and a tail. The reason he’s famous is because he’s said to give you five years of life if you kiss him, ten if it’s on the mouth, and twenty if you sleep with him. That’s probably true, but you would have to find him first as he’s constantly on the run...and once you do, you have to make sure he doesn’t take all your remaining years first.

Louis XIV: A devil that refuses to submit to the will of the Allies! Rather than giving willing humans his powers, he regularly possesses human bodies and gets around that way. He’s looking for a way to bring back the authority of the devils, though it’s mostly just his. He just has to get rid of a few pesky Overlifers first.

That's all I have of this AU for now, if I were to write for it I would hope to publish it here or on ao3! And honestly I do hope to write for it because I have so many ideas for everyone listed here BUT WE SHALL SEE...........

[coquetteladyofthedeadmensworld]

The Stuarts and Friends: Valentine's Day 💌💘

*Have a lovely proper romantic day out to celebrate*: Charles I, Henrietta Maria, Charles II, Catherine of Braganza, William III, Mary II, Hans William Bentinck, Anne Queen of Great Britain, George of Denmark Sarah Churchill, John Churchill

*Give their partner flowers and chocolate*: Charles I, Henrietta Maria, Charles II, Catherine of Braganza, James Duke of Monmouth, Hans William Bentinck, Arnold Joost van Keppel, Anne Queen of Great Britain, George of Denmark, Sarah Churchill, John Churchill

*Give their partner (mostly) suggestive poetry*: John Wilmot Earl of Rochester

*Are single because they prefer to celebrate Galentine's Day instead*: Mary Queen of Scots, James VI and I Anne of Denmark, Anne Hyde and Mary of Modena too probably.

Are single and enjoying it: James VI and I

Are single and NOT enjoying it: James II is desperate for a new girlfriend probably.

*VERY AGGRESSIVE SEX*: James II

[redladydeath]

not sure if it counts as an AU, but The Favourite prequel + the "what if M&W had kids" AU?

Ooo, spicy! I've actually thought about this before in a roundabout sort of way.

The kids all have unique relationships with Bentinck and Keppel. Amalia and Maria grew up in the Netherlands (they were 9 and 6 respectively when they came over to England after the revolution) in a fairly relaxed household, so for most of their lives they saw Bentinck as more or less their uncle. They're teenagers by the time rumors really start circulating about his relationship with their dad. Amalia won't here a word of it; she's a huge daddy's girl, has taken Mary's goal of restoring morality to the debauched English court to heart, and is just flat out unwilling to even consider that this man she's known all her life and her beloved father are engaging in "immoral" acts. Maria is more willing to entertain the possibility; she's always been the quiet, observant type and she has noticed... stuff over the years.

William Charles on the other hand has never liked Bentinck. He was born in England and has a strained relationship with his parents, especially William. He's outright seen suspicious stuff between them throughout his life and is close with Anne and Sarah's circle, who drip poison in his ear about William and his associates. It's all very Hanoverian.

Keppel comes into the equation later. In the original kids AU, Mary outlives William (although I do have an alternate path where things work out like they did historically), but in The Favourite AU, William's grief over Mary is very important to the story/character dynamics. Not sure which I wanna go with for this.

Amalia may or may not be out of the picture by the time Keppel starts his rise; she's off in France with Philip of Anjou (Philip V), disconnected from court shenanigans, and may or may not be dead in childbirth. She liked Keppel while she was still there though; he was good with her and her siblings and he makes her father happy.

Maria's position is more complicated. If we go with William outliving Mary, Maria ends up as both the head lady of the court in her sister's absence and as William's caretaker in his poor health. She's never been the type for courtly politics, but once Bentinck and Keppel begin their battle over William, she starts to feel threatened. She doesn't particularly enjoy caring for her ill, grieving, and occasionally quite hard-to-deal-with father, but she doesn't like the idea of courtiers who may have ulterior motives taking her place. However, it all ends up being for naught as she's shipped over to Hanover to marry George Augustus (George II) once things start getting really spicy, possibly partially due to Keppel's suggestion if we wanna get really Favourite-y (she's the one who ends up queen in the end though, so he may live to regret that...)

William Charles ends up as somewhat of a pawn in this whole game. He's not terribly smart when it comes to court politics and his fraught relationship with his father makes it very easy for people to manipulate him. In the main AU, he hates Keppel despite him being kind to him as a child, since he's 100% convinced that he's his dad's sugar baby. In this compound AU, they might actually end up allies, as Keppel would be a lot more manipulative here, convincing William Charles (Billy? idk I need to come up with a nickname for him) that him replacing Bentinck in William's affections would be in his best interest.

William Duke of Gloucester would also be present for these proceedings as I have him survive to adulthood in the kids AU and he's William Charles' closest friend. He's not super keyed-in to the power struggle between Bentinck and Keppel, but he's very close with the other two Williams and ends up getting pulled into this mess by proxy.

[acrossthewavesoftime]

The Stuarts (plus the Earls of Portland and Albemarle), (not) helping you with your homework.

[coquetteladyofthedeadmensworld]

The Stuarts and Friends: Celebrating Christmas

*Are dressed up as Santa*: James VI and I, Charles I, Charles II, John Churchill

*Came here to party hard because why not it's Christmas after all: Mary Queen of Scots, Anne of Denmark, Charles II, James Duke of Monmouth, Arnold Joost van Keppel

*Are only here for the Presents*: Anne of Denmark, James Duke of Monmouth, Arnold Joost van Keppel

*Are doing the food*: Anne Hyde, Mary of Modena, William III, Mary II, Anne Queen of Great Britain

*The ones who actually care about the proper Christmas story*: They all do but Henrietta Maria, James II and Anne Queen of Great Britain most definitely

*End up getting into an argument over politics or something*: James II (gets kicked out so it's all sorted)

*Genuinely enjoying today: Mary Queen of Scots, James VI and I, Anne of Denmark, Charles I, Henrietta Maria, Charles II, Catherine of Braganza, James Duke of Monmouth, Anne Hyde, Mary of Modena, William III, Mary II, Hans William Bentinck, Arnold Joost van Keppel, Anne Queen of Great Britain, George of Denmark, Sarah Churchill, John Churchill

*Arrive already half drunk to endure these people*: James II (hence why he's arguing!)

And Merry Christmas everyone xxx 🎀🎁🎄🎉🎊🎈

[coquetteladyofthedeadmensworld]

The Stuarts and Friends: On Halloween

*Stay home and give out candy to the little kids*: James VI and I, Mary II, Hans William Bentinck, George of Denmark

*Go to a party*: Mary Queen of Scots, Anne of Denmark, Charles II, James Duke of Monmouth, Arnold Joost van Keppel, Sarah Churchill, John Churchill

*(And get drunk)*: Charles II, James Duke of Monmouth

*Wear a cute costume*: Catherine of Braganza, Mary of Modena

*Wear a sexy costume*: Mary Queen of Scots, Anne of Denmark, Anne Hyde

*Wear a really creative costume*: Charles II, Sarah Churchill

*Don't celebrate Halloween*: Charles I, William III, Anne Queen of Great Britain

*HAVE BANNED HALLOWEEN*: Henrietta Maria, James II

[coquetteladyofthedeadmensworld]

The Stuarts and Friends: Watching a Horror Movie

*Continuously ask questions about the plot, ruining it for everyone else*: George of Denmark, James Duke of Monmouth

*Scream mega loudly even when absolutely nothing has happened*: James VI and I, Mary II

*Ends up crying* - James VI and I

*"That's not even sca-" ends up screaming at jumpscare*: Charles I, Mary Queen of Scots, Sarah Churchill, Arnold Joost van Keppel, Anne of Denmark, James Duke of Monmouth

*Is silent throughout the whole thing, staring at the screen - no one can tell if it's because they're scared or they're enjoying it*: William III, Anne Hyde, Charles II, Mary of Modena, John Churchill

*Laughs like a maniac whenever someone dies - causing severe worry to everyone*: James II, Henrietta Maria

*Isn't even watching the movie, seeing everyone else (either out of terror or thinking they're all idiots)*: Anne Queen of Great Britain, Hans William Bentinck, Catherine of Braganza

[coquetteladyofthedeadmensworld]

William would be all Dutch even if it wasn't a Dutch person he was texting.

Dozens of emojis: Mary, Keppel

Normally: Bentinck

[coquetteladyofthedeadmensworld]

The Stuarts and Friends: Decorating For Christmas

*Flashing Lights*: Mary Queen of Scots, Anne of Denmark, Charles II, James Duke of Monmouth, Arnold Joost van Keppel, Sarah Churchill

*Window Stickers of Santa*: Charles I, Mary II, Catherine of Braganza, Mary of Modena, Hans William Bentinck

*LOTS OF TOYS EVEN IF THERE'S NO KIDS*: James Duke of Monmouth, George of Denmark

*Has a GIGANTIC Christmas tree*: Mary Queen of Scots, James VI and I, Anne of Denmark, Charles II, James Duke of Monmouth, Hans William Bentinck, Arnold Joost van Keppel

*Has a GIGANTIC Nativity Scene instead*: Henrietta Maria, James II, Anne Queen of Great Britain

*"You can have both, guys!"*: Mary Queen of Scots, Catherine of Braganza, Anne Hyde, Mary of Modena, Mary II, Hans William Bentinck, George of Denmark, John Churchill

*Not actually a fan of huge decorations*: William III (but he's all for it if Mary likes it so much!)

[coquetteladyofthedeadmensworld]

The Stuarts and Friends: On Vacation

*Blast extremely loud music on the beach and start a rave*: Mary Queen of Scots, Anne of Denmark, Charles II

*Immediately take off to go swimming*: Charles II, James II, John Churchill

*Spend the whole day building giant sandcastles*: Catherine of Braganza, George of Denmark

*Lie by the pool or the beach sunbathing and sipping an iced drink*: Anne of Denmark, Henrietta Maria, Anne Hyde, Mary of Modena, Mary II, Sarah Churchill

*Try to get footage of all the wildlife*: James VI and I, Charles I, William III, Hans William Bentinck, Anne Queen of Great Britain, George of Denmark, John Churchill

*Go out partying in the evenings*: Anne of Denmark, Charles II, James Duke of Monmouth, Arnold Joost van Keppel, Sarah Churchill

[coquetteladyofthedeadmensworld]

Our Men as Babysitters

Bentinck: Actual Parent

George: Actual Parent

Marlborough: Actual Parent

William: Actually very Good at Babysitting

Charles: Wine Uncle

Keppel: Mediocre at Babysitting

James: IS BABY

[coquetteladyofthedeadmensworld]

The Stuarts and Friends: At the Self Checkout

*Uses normally*: Hans William Bentinck, Anne Queen of Great Britain, Sarah Churchill, John Churchill, Mary of Modena, Henrietta Maria

*Can't figure out what to do*: James II after acting all confident

*Prefers cash register*: Mary Queen of Scots, George of Denmark, Anne Hyde, Henrietta Maria

*At the self checkout because of social anxiety*: Mary II, James VI and I, Charles I, Catherine of Braganza

*Orders stuff online*: Charles II, William III, Arnold Joost van Keppel, Anne of Denmark, James Duke of Monmouth, Charles I

[defensivelee]

little alien alien m&w..... i've been obsessed with them for hours... they are my new reaction images

she give him licks.... for true love is real (for use when i comfort u)

she is reading about the stars (for use when im reading abt science stuff)

he hurts but she is there (for use when ur in pain or im in pain, any kind of pain)

bonus traumacore-ish hansijoost bc they make me cry. he is doing the tin can's hair. (for use when i am feeling so so sad)

and at last.... a shameless degenerate charles (for use when i send the worst sentences ever conceived)

[defensivelee]

stuarts and Friends™️ as huniepop quotes

yeah bc i've been playing this game again and the dialogue is so funny

William:

"If you can't tell my favorite color is [orange] you must be fucking blind."

*telling you his height* "What of it? I can still knock a bitch out."

"The only problem with that answer is...that it's not the right one."

Mary:

"You see, this is why I like you. You give me stuff."

“You know you snore like a wild bear?”

"This is what we refer to as a mega bitch.”

"Don't get into any trouble out there. That's my job."

James:

“If I don’t get some food right now, I’m gonna punch somebody in the cunt.”

“I know a place nearby that's open pretty late. You'll love it! Or not...I don't care."

Charles:

“Will you look at this guy? I hardly recognize you without the virginity.”

"Let's get it going! These broads aren't gonna date themselves!"

"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be nads deep in some kinda hole right now?"

Bentinck:

“There’s this one little bitch I know. She is SUCH a BITCH!”

Keppel:

"Thanks for the sex homie."

*in response to you saying you'd break the face of anyone he cheated on you with* "Maybe I'll hate fuck someone to get their ass beat."

[coquetteladyofthedeadmensworld]

The Stuarts and Friends: On New Year's Eve

*Are in a huge crowd to watch the Fireworks*: Charles I, Henrietta Maria, James Scott Duke of Monmouth, Anne Hyde, Arnold Joost van Keppel, Mary of Modena

Put on their own Fireworks Display: Mary Queen of Scots, Anne of Denmark, Sarah Churchill, John Churchill

Host a New Year's Eve Party with lots of dancing and blast loud music to dance to: Mary Queen of Scots, Anne of Denmark, Sarah Churchill, John Churchill

*Go to a Party and get Wasted*: Charles II, The Merry Gang

*Have a cosy night at home and watch the celebrations on television*: James VI and I, Hans William Bentinck, Anne Queen of Great Britain, George of Denmark

*Are depressed on New Year's*: James II

Happy New Year Everyone 🍾🎉🥂🎈

[coquetteladyofthedeadmensworld]

Girl at the ticket booth for the funhouse: Sir, horses are not allowed in this area. And can you please stop shouting?? You're scaring all the kids in the queue -

James II: LET ME THROUGH!! YOU HAVE ALL BEEN PROMISED COMPENSATION FOR YOUR HOMES!! YOU HAVE BEEN PROMISED COMPENSATION BY YOUR KING!!

Meanwhile -

Guy dragged onto and now trying to have fun on the carousel: Huh?! When have real horses been allowed here and why are you dressed like that?!

His girlfriend: They're... They're not -

Charles II: I WILL NOT SEE MY CAPITAL BURN!

Guy: CAPITAL?!

Dryden: Jemmy, IS THAT YOUR FATHER?!

Monmouth, hiding his face: NO!! I can assure you, I've never seen that bloke before in my life -

Rochester: *too busy dying of laughter videoing this to comment*

Samuel Pepys: *creating a new diary entry about this*

James II: Charles please no one is cooperative right now!

Charles II: People, we have no choice, this is an emergency! You must give up your houses!

People on the rollercoaster: *confused.com* LMFAO!

James Francis Edward: IS THAT DAD?!

James Francis Edward: Damn, I'm embarrassed for him.

Louisa Maria Teresa: Yeah, me too.

Person running the rollercoaster: ONE NORMAL DAY AT THIS JOB IS ALL I ASKED FOR -

Charles II: No one should panic! Homeless people will be compensated and hungry people shall be fed! We will rebuild this great city!

James II: *near tears*

Godolphin, John and Sarah: TF?!

Anne 2.0: IN FRONT OF THEIR GRANDSON AND GREAT-NEPHEW?!?! SERIOUSLY?!?!

George: William sweetheart, why don't we go over there and look at the arcade? *Steers his wife and son away from this circus*

Charles's and James's mistresses: *hide in the arcade and look pretty hoping this will soon be over*

Shrewsbury, the Bentincks, Villiers and Keppel: *buy popcorn at the nearest food stall to enjoy the show*

James: We do not wish to see anyone in this position but if we only act for ourselves, we will all suffer - *sees George* George, what are you doing, just milling about? There is danger here!!

George, who has returned from the arcade: Guys...

Theme park workers: *prepared to knock these men out*

George: Boys, please...

George: This is a theme park. You're going to get kicked out.

*Silence falls across the park*

Charles II: Wait, you mean there's no fire?! We've done all of this for ABSOLUTELY NOTHING?!

George: *sighs* Yes *Gives camera The Office stare*

James II: *Bursts into tears*

Police officer who was summoned to the scene: Both of you are under arrest for terrorising fungoers and workers alike in this fairground.

Charles II: NOOOOO!!

James II: *Full on howling*

Horses: *Whinny in confusion*

Rochester: I could put this into my mf poetry b-.

Dryden: WRITE THAT DOWN! WRITE THAT DOWN!

Samuel Pepys: Goodness me, this is an entry if I ever saw one!

Monmouth: *is away off to escape. Tries to hide his embarrassment by chatting to girls at the water rides:

Anne Hyde, Maria and Catherine of Braganza: *on the Ferris Wheel, watching this performance go down*

Anne: Why are our men like this...?

In the arcade hours during the aftermath...

William III: *downs a cider*

Govert Bidloo: *also downs a cider*

William Henry Gloucester, very innocently: What's happening, guys? Why did Grandpa and Great-Uncle Charlie get arrested?

Mary II ,Anne Villiers and Anne 2.0 in unison: Oh nothing darling.

William Henry Gloucester: But how did they think there was a fire??

William III: *hands over his newly bought fruit juice*

William III: This is what happens when you do drugs kid.

Conclusion: The Stuart Brothers go to prison for harassment of innocent civilians and unlawful interruptions of workplace after George called the police. Sunderland conveniently goes to prison for drunk driving too. The remaining Stuart Family all apologise to the rest of the theme park and help reorganise and rebuild with little William helping too. Charles and James are deemed wasted and are therefore no longer allowed into any theme parks.

Oh, and Dryden and Rochester wrote more poetry based on this very eventful story:

The End

Call me insane from watching The First Churchills and The Great Fire (which I only view for fit men and nothing else) but once I imagined a scenario where Charles and James were out thinking they were fighting a fire but it was actually a theme park and nothing out of the normal was happening, everyone was just having fun while the Stuart Bros were riding about screaming about how they would promise compensation for homes at confused bystanders who were just trying to enjoy themselves wondering why two men in weird old-fashioned outfits are trying to blow up the funhouses! Then they got arrested. 😭😂🤣