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rikacain · 6 years ago

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careful of the curse that falls on your lover [1/?]

A very happy holidays to @ineverhadadoubt, who requested anything goes an added preference for mutual pining, hurt/comfort, graphic violence being very welcome, fluff, and, if angst, angst with a happy ending in the Benthan Xmas Exchange organised by @lady-johnlocked-moriarity. I apologise for the delay, because exams season, flu season and work emergencies all converged on Christmas and it’s been a hectic year.

There’ll be two or three more chapters to this, but for now please take the first chapter as my assurance that you definitely have a Christmas gift. I hope when you said anything goes, you like fantasy AUs.

Title from Howl by Florence + The Machine. Crossposted to Ao3.

It takes the entirety of five seconds.

The first, Benji's running after Ethan and the sorcerer they've been hunting for the past week. Nasty piece of work, that - born with magic powers and using them to curse normal folk for no other reason than because he could andbecause it's funny. It's not Benji's first time dealing with a sorcerer and not Ethan's either, but it's the first time they had to chase one into the forest. They usually prefer castles or some highly elevated monument; all the better to look down on the rest of the world with.

The second, he bursts into the clearing with one hand on his slingshot and the other on his sack of inscribed stones. Ethan's got the blighter pinned to the ground, but his hands are still glowing, still free, thumping away at Ethan’s back and leaving ashy handprints on the grey vest. Probably trying to leave a nasty burn to get Ethan off him, but Benji reckons it’s a task for even a sorcerer to conjure a flame or two if someone’s bearing their full weight down on you and hitting you back. Life’s hard like that.

The third, the sorcerer’s eyes widen when he spots Benji. Maybe he thought that he could have taken Ethan by himself, or maybe he thought that a one-on-one was more favorable odds compared to two-on-one - but it doesn’t matter. The fact is, his hands stop flickering orange and instead turns an ugly green, the color of rotting artichokes, and that’s not good. That’s not good -

The fourth - Benji’s opening his mouth, trying to warn Ethan, trying to shoutwatch out, trying to grab a stone out of his sack so he can hurl it at the sorcerer’s face. The sorcerer pulls his hands back, the intense concentration of energy blocking his fingers from view, and Ethan is quickly realizing that the sorcerer isn’t trying to make him into a bonfire anymore and is attempting something else -

The fifth. Benji watches as the sorcerer slams his hands onto Ethan’s chest, the energy latching onto and seeping into Ethan’s body at an alarming rate, watches as Ethan pulls out his knife at the exact same time and shoves it through the sorcerer’s heart. It's frankly only a preference to take bounty targets alive, to let the people do to them as they would according to the local laws and customs - but it’s also a necessity to kill their targets if their lives are in danger.

It’s a necessity now.

The sorcerer blinks slowly, before slumping away and onto the ground - but the damage is done. Benji rushes over to Ethan as he writhes on the ground, dark green tendrils wrapping around him and sinking into his skin, over and over again. Ethan moans, low and pained, and the magic should have dissipated with the sorcerer’s death, so why -so why-

A dying curse, Benji realizes, cold rushing through his body all at once.

“Ethan,” Benji says, dropping to his knees, because what form could this curse take? There are stories, stories he heard where a dying curse left a man to slowly petrify over the years, a woman to walk eastwards and never stop until she reached the sorcerer’s homeland to bear the news and consequences of their death, a child barred from physically leaving the village despite that being their dearest wish. He desperately wants to touch Ethan, wants to ground him through whatever happens next - but if the curse decides that Benji is an equally deserving target then he won’t be of any use. If he could be of any use. “Ethan, hold on, Luther’s on his way, Ethan - “

“Benji,” Ethan chokes out, his bright eyes feverishly finding Benji’s own. “Benji - “

He breaks off into a moan again, guttural and rasping, and turns away from Benji. It gives him a full view of the hair - no, fur, dark fur growing at an alarming rate on Ethan’s arm. Ethan moans again and the moan turns lower, rougher -

Like a growl.

There’s the sound of bones and cartilage cracking and snapping, and he watches in horror as Ethan turns back to him, mindless from the pain. There's nothing Benji can do as Ethan's face elongates, as his nails turn yellow and curved and as his legs shrink upwards at an unnatural angle, nothing he can say as Ethan's ears disappear into his skin, quickly covered under a coat of midnight fur. His clothes tear apart through the expansion of his torso, and the protusion of a tail, bushy and wild.

There's nothing human about the sounds Ethan's making, not anymore.

"Ethan," Benji says again, his voice cracking as he grabs onto Ethan, curse be damned. If they're going to be cursed then at least they're going to be wolves together, he thinks wildly - but miracle of miracles, the curse doesn't take Benji. He holds onto Ethan as his limbs crack themselves into their newly assigned places, as fur sprouts dark and thick all over Ethan's body, as Ethan snarls and snaps his teeth dangerously near to Benji's face.

"I'm here, Ethan," Benji repeats, hoping that Ethan can hear him, can understand him. He hopes the curse leaves him that much. "I'm here."

The green hue finally dissipates, dissolving into thin air - and Benji is left only with the cooling corpse of a sorcerer, the unconscious body of his friend-turned-wolf, and himself, all alone.

It takes only minutes for Will and Luther to reach the clearing. To Benji, it feels like an eternity.

He's gathered all of the belongings Ethan had on him, scattered across the clearing in the wake of his transformation. The clothes are beyond repair, but the hunting knife and his crossbow feature only the slightest of scuff marks from where they've been thrown. Benji cleans the knife, wiping it onto the unstained parts of the sorceror's robe, and wraps the weapons together with a piece of twine he had on him. He'll keep them for Ethan - he can have it back when they break the curse.

Luther would know what to do. He must have encountered dying curses and the ways to break them, in his time as an enchanter. This is what Benjj tells himself repeatedly, drowning out the voice at the back of his head, reminding him of all the curses that were never broken. That could not be broken.

He has nothing left to distract him from his crushing failure to do anything, so it’s nothing short of a relief when his friends finally steps into the clearing.

It becomes less of a relief when the paladin's hand goes straight to his pommel, unsheathing his sword.

“No,” Benji shouts as Will takes a step towards Ethan’s unconscious form, ready to defend Benji from what he perceived as a threat. He should have gone to meet Will before he got to the clearing; Ethan as a wolf is as huge as the ones up in the mountains, and appears to be no less dangerous. A sleeping wolf is no reason to feel safe - as the saying goes, the only good wolf is a dead one.

Will blinks at him in surprise. “Benji - "

“That’s Ethan,” Benji interrupts him. “The sorcerer, he - a dying curse - - “

“On Ethan,” Luther repeats, lowering his elderwood staff and putting the flame gathering at its tip out. Bless Luther, who has become incredibly adept in deciphering Benji’s babbling. Will, however, does not put his sword down.

“It’s Ethan,” Benji repeats again, because maybe Will was processing this but he needs Will to process faster. “Will, it’s Ethan.”

“I get it, Benji,” the paladin says not unkindly, readjusting his grip on his sword. “It was Ethan then. We don’t know if he’s still Ethan now.”

“Of course he’s still Ethan, I saw him turn.” Benji splutters, but Will looks at him without a word, and he understands, he does. Benji may have seen the transformation, but he doesn’t know whether it touched Ethan’s mind.

He doesn’t know what he’ll do if it touched Ethan’s mind.

"Luther," he says, beseeching.

"I'm afraid Will's right on this one," Luther says grimly. Luther, Ethan's friend when no one else was back when he was exiled from his land. "We'll have to see."

And perhaps this is why turning into an animal is a curse, Benji reflects hopelessly - because if Benji came into the clearing and saw a wolf, he would have turned tail and ran. When Will came into the clearing, he would have killed the wolf even if it was defenseless. With no way to communicate, and with your friends either fleeing or fighting you…

“Behind me, Benji,” Will says sharply.

He starts, only just realizing that the sound of rustling fur was coming from Ethan’s direction. Benji doesn’t want to leave nothing between Ethan and Will’s blade, but Will would be more likely to resort to more drastic measures if Benji doesn’t do as he say. Reluctantly, he steps behind the bulk of Will’s armor, shining dully in the evening light, and next to Luther, who's raised his staff again.

They all watch with bated breath, as Ethan rolls over and rouses himself, getting up slowly on all four legs. Fur rustles and ripples all over his body as he shakes, and his teeth show as he unhinges his jaw in a wide yawn. There's nothing human about the movements Ethan's making, nothing to convince Will to put down his sword.

"Ethan?" Benji finally calls out, because he'll rather know sooner than later. The wolf turns to face them, wary, and Benji feels Will tensing in front of him, ready to either defend or attack if Ethan decides to bare his fangs at them instead. "Ethan, buddy, it's us. It's Benji. You understand us, right?"

Ethan blinks at them, once, twice. There's a stillness as they both assess each other, humans and wolf, before finally, finally Ethan moves his snout up and down in what was most certainly a nod.

Will relaxes. He sheathes his sword in one fluid motion, after which Benji finds it safe to slap him lightly on his shoulderplate.

"I told you," Benji says, with no real heat behind his voice, and Will rolls his eyes good-naturedly back.

"Nasty curse you got hit with," he says to Ethan, his form of an apology.

"Dying curse too," Luther notes, nodding towards the sorcerer. "Always finding yourself in the worst of troubles."

Ethan jerks his head to the side in a motion Benji thinks might be a shrug - as best as a shrug might be when you lack the movement to shrug your shoulders with. There is an attempt at vocalisation of some kind, a series of huffs and aborted growls, and a sad howl that sounds more hilarious than terrifying.

"Looks like speaking's out of the question for you," Luther says, half amused. Will stifles a chuckle; Benji doesn't bother.

"We'll break the curse though," he reassures Ethan, who looks grumpy more than affronted with his drooped ears and upturned snout. "Luther, you know what to do right?"

"About that."

“You’re kidding."

"Eh." Luther drags a hand across his face, rubbing at his eyes. "What do you know of dying curses, you two."

"You need to appease the sorcerer's dying wish," Will says immediately. Benji supposes that it made sense, somewhat - but the sorcerer's as dead as a doornail and Luther probably doesn't dabble in necromancy. Nothing against necromancers, of course - lovely lot, awfully helpful to their community. The dead acts less like a united army and more like people who just want to be with their loved ones again, after all.

"My mentor would be proud of that answer," Luther says. Will nods at Luther, serious and satisfied - but then Luther turns and says, "Benji?"

"Uh - " Dying curse, dying curse, why is he asking Benji - "A true love's kiss?"

"Bingo."

“What, you're serious?" Benji says incredulously. "How does that even work?"

“Dying curses is magic made vengeful. You either have to avenge it, or you have to prove you don’t deserve this vengeance.” Luther shrugs. “Best way to do that is to prove that you’re capable of being loved and loving others in return.”

“Isn’t that kind of too easy?”

“Is it really?” Luther fixes Benji with a stare. “If you got hit by a dying curse right now, and you need a true love’s kiss - who would you go to, Benji?”

Ethan, the thought immediately comes, unbidden, to the front of his mind. Benji flushes and looks away, because love is a term he doesn’t want to use when it comes to Ethan, not when Ethan doesn’t feel the same way about him. Not when Ethan has someone else.

Someone else, Benji realizes with a pang in his heart.

“Julia,” he blurts out. Will squints at him in surprise. “No, not for me - for Ethan.”

“Julia,” Luther muses. “Last I heard of her, she was up in the North. Some town called Mehad. That’s easily a month away.”

“Two,” Will interrupts. He nods at Ethan, who tilts his head in the universal expression of confusion. “He can’t take the portals looking like that. No boat’s going to take him either.”

“We can say he’s a really huge dog,” Benji suggests. Ethan snorts at him, and Benji shrugs back at him. “Or a really well-trained wolf."

“Up until some noble decides he looks better as a hunting trophy,” Will mutters darkly.

“Two months,” Luther affirms.

“Wait, what about Jane?” Benji asks.

They were supposed to make their way down to Canaan to rendezvous with her, before Ethan was turned into a wolf. Apparently there's an alchemy conference scheduled in a month’s time, and whenever there's an alchemy conference there are bound to be people inordinately interested in explosive materials of the non-academical kind. While the conference warrants its own mercenaries and guards as security, Jane must have found something to necessitate her request to bring Ethan and the rest of them in to help.

“We’ll have to tell her we can’t make it to the rendezvous,” Will says. “She’ll understand.”

“It’s Jane,” Benji shakes his head. “You know she doesn’t ask for help unless she really needs it.”

“What do you suggest we do then, bring Ethan there?” Will gestures at the wolf in question. "He’s going to stick out like a sore thumb, and he’s even less use to her as a wolf.”

Ethan stares balefully at Will, eyes wide and expressively sad. It looks remarkably like the expression Benji’s seen on his dog when he’s denied scraps from the table, and is also incredibly adorable - but he’s not going to tell Ethan either of that.

"No offense,” Will says belatedly, apparently not impervious to Ethan’s new-found power of puppy eyes.

“Gentlemen,” Luther says as the sole voice of reason within their group. “We’re four people, and we’re not bound to hold each other’s hands at all times. The obvious solution is to split up.”

“Split up,” Will repeats incredulously.

“Two hands to help Jane is better than none,” Luther points out. “And someone needs to be translator for Ethan, because as lovely as Julia is I don’t think she’ll take well to seeing a wolf show up on her doorstep.”

Benji’s torn - on one hand, he really wants to go with Ethan because it’s his fault Ethan’s turned into a wolf and for other reasons he’s trying not to look hard at. On the other hand, he doesn’t want to see Julia. Call him selfish, call him jealous - this is the fairytale ending for Ethan - a kiss from Julia, his true love, and Ethan would turn back into a man, proven worthy of love.

It’s the only ending, and Benji, as flawed as he is, hates that it is so.

“Right,” Will agrees. “Benji and I can go and meet Jane - “

“Actually,” Luther interrupts, “I’m thinking you and me go meet Ms. Carter, and Benji can bring Ethan up to Mehad.”

“Wait, why,” Benji splutters, because he swears that Luther knows of his feelings towards Ethan even if he’s never told him. Benji knows he’s terribly obvious at times, but as long as Ethan doesn’t notice it’s all fine and dandy. “Why not you? You know where Mehad is.”

“Because it doesn’t take magic for you to read a map,” Luther says patiently. “And it takes magic to recognize magic in a place full of alchemists.” His tone softens. “You’re bright at magic, Benji, but you’re still learning.”

I’ll be able to help Jane more, is what he’s saying, and Benji can’t really begrudge him that. Luther’s his kind-of mentor in the whole can-I-put-runes-on-this and yes-no-it’ll-be-better-if-you routine, and he’s right. Benji might have an aptitude for magic more than he ever thought he might have, but he’s no master.

As for Will, well. It may take magic to recognize magic, but it takes a paladin to recognize killing intent before the would-be assassins can get to their targets. Besides, with the history behind Will and Ethan and Julia, Will probably doesn’t want to meet Julia just yet. The blemish of an otherwise spotless record of successfully defending his wards probably isn't something you like to look at.

There’s something wet on his hand, and Benji realizes that Ethan’s pushing his snout into Benji’s hand, nudging him. He looks down at Ethan, who stares back at him questioningly.

He knows if he says no firmly enough, no one would push him to explain why, Ethan least of all. But he also knows that it’ll make Ethan wonder why Benji won’t go with him, and Ethan might think he had ever done something to upset Benji and beat himself up over it.

“Of course I’ll go with you,” he says to Ethan. “Better than sitting with dusty old academics any day.”

“It’s settled then.” Luther pokes at the dead sorcerer with his staff. The body rises and floats after Luther, bumping slightly into the trees. “I’ll bring him in and collect our bounty. You two'd best get a move on. We’ll meet you in two months, wherever Jane brings us.”

“Try to stick to the main routes if you can, but hiding Ethan comes first.” Will advises. “We’ll send a message ahead to Ruthen if anything comes up, so give us a check in when you reach there. Maybe Luther can get Julia to come down and save you both some time.”

“Ruthen, got it,” Benji nods. “Anything else?”

“Don’t forget to bundle up,” Will smiles wryly. “Safe travels.”

“Safe travels.” Benji watches Will trudge after Luther and out of sight, before looking at Ethan. “Well, buddy, looks like it’s just you and me now."

Ethan huffs at him.

“I have no idea what you said, buddy.” Benji says. He has the feeling he’ll learn by the end of the week. “After you."

They settle quickly on a mode of communication. Apparently moving his snout up and down is too taxing for a wolf - so a bark is taken as yes. Growls would be taken as no, or as a general warning. The sound of a wolf’s growl so close to him unnerves Benji more than not, and he considers it sufficient incentive to not do whatever he was doing for Ethan to say no.

Howling is for emergencies. Everything else is up to Benji’s interpretation. He supposes that if Ethan's truly desperate, he could scratch out whatever he needs on the ground with his claws.

The discussion takes them right up to the road leading into the next town, grassy meadows rustling in the night wind surrounding them on both sides. Benji stops when he sees the gates from a distance, made visible by the torches lit above. It would be nice to sleep in an inn, or to ask for shelter at one of the farmhouses in the distance, but he can’t bring Ethan into town and into the room with him.

Maybe with some sheep and a shepherd’s crook he could pass himself off as a shepherd with a terrifying sheepdog (more effective at herding sheep, he hears himself say) - but that means Ethan would have to sleep with the sheep and it’ll be more likely to slow them down than afford them the convenience of entering towns. Besides, the portals didn’t allow livestock - at least, not the public ones.

“We’re camping here,” Benji finally decides, only to be met by a low growl.

He frowns at Ethan, who gently but determinedly catches Benji’s sleeve in his mouth and tugs at it. Humoring the wolf, he follows the direction Ethan’s tugging him towards - the town.

“You can’t go in, pal,” Benji says. “I don’t think anyone would buy it if I tell them you’re a really huge dog."

Ethan growls again, shaking his head. He stares at Benji with what Benji can only describe as a determined look on his face, before staring off at the town - and repeats the action, again and again.

“Wait,” Benji says, because this is the very reason they set up their communication system. “You want me to go into the town?”

A bark.

“And you’ll come in with me?” A growl this time, so Benji changes tack. “You’re not coming in with me. You’ll sneak in after.” Another growl, another no. “You’re not coming in at all.”

Another bark, bingo. Benji rubs at the crease between his eyebrows.

"So you want me to stay in the town and you’ll stay out here?”

Ethan sits back onto his haunches and barks once.

“No,” Benji says. “I’m not sleeping in the inn and letting you stay outside here alone. Are you nuts? What happens if you need help?”

Ethan stares at him plainly, his tail moving slowly behind him.

“Right, you’re a wolf - even if you’re a wolf you might need help,” Benji tells him firmly. “Ethan, if you were in my position you wouldn’t let me sleep here alone either. I can take a month of sleeping on the ground."

Ethan growls again, but Benji thinks it sounds slightly half-hearted this time.

“I’m your friend, Ethan,” he sighs. “We’ve got to watch each other’s back, and I can’t do that from in there. We can sleep in all the inns when you turn back, alright?”

There’s an aborted huff - and he thinks that’s probably a laugh at their situation, where sleeping in a bed is a luxury instead of something that they usually do when in close proximity to an inn. They’re no stranger to hardship, with their travels across the land, but they don’t turn up their nose at comfort when there’s money to be spent.

“That’s that, then,” Benji says. There’s the remains of a campfire made by some travelers before them, so all they really need is some dry grass - of which there’s an abundant amount of. He shrugs his rucksack off his back and onto the ground, grabs the flint and his steel knife and sets to work trying to start a fire.

It looks so easy when Ethan does it, Benji thinks wistfully as he tries to shave the flint into the pile of rocks. His hands feel unsteady and the knife unwieldy, but he tries. Ethan watches him intently from the side, his ears pricked and tail swaying gently from side to side.

“You watch, I’ll be an expert by the end of this month,” Benji tells him, injecting false confidence into his words. Instead of a series of huffs like he expects, Ethan barks gently.

Somehow, it feels like Ethan telling him that you will. The thought warms him, and he turns his attention back to the flint. He wants to get this right.

Benji eventually gets a few sparks and finally a fire going. It’s small, and he has to constantly feed it with blades of dry grass, but he’s pretty proud of it. Ethan sniffs at the fire, looks up at Benji and barks twice - before sitting down next to it with a loud thump.

That’s probably approval, Benji thinks as he settles down next to the fire itself. He doesn’t think Ethan would outright tell him he’s doing a shite job at any rate.

“You’re taking being a wolf pretty well,” he comments idly as he sets his bag down and himself next to it. His rucksack would probably serve adequately as a rather hard and bumpy pillow, and his blanket of roughly woven linen would shield him against the wind. If he really wants to, he could gather some grass and leaves and make a makeshift bed - but with the moon inching slowly and steadily upwards into the sky, he doesn’t want to make the effort. “Thought you’d be more upset.”

Who was he kidding - Ethan, lose his cool? The sun would rather be swallowed whole by a lupine god before that would happen.

Ethan does that head-jerk again, which Benji is quite sure is a shrug.

“Don’t tell me,” Benji says. “You’ve been turned into a wolf before.”

The huffing may not tell much else from the laugh that Ethan’s having, but his eyes rolling is a universal indicator of the truth.

“Hm, then you were raised by a wolf,” Benji guesses, even if he knows fully well which house and which land Ethan hails from - an illustrious lineage with generations before him serving as Masters of the Hunt to their king. He’s fairly sure Ethan has a claim to the throne in some indirect way, if he ever fancies ruling. He doubts Ethan ever will.

Ethan huffs even more as if he’s saying, do I look like Romulus to you?

“Oh - I’ve got it,” Benji says. “You were actually a wolf who got cursed into a man - and now you got cursed back into a wolf. What serendipity. What a miracle. You’ve journeyed so far for a way back to the wild, only to have it delivered by some snot-nosed sorcerer. Amazing.”

The huffs become interspersed with bouts of hacking and coughing, but Ethan doesn’t seem to be in too much pain. Benji politely waits for the coughs to subside and Ethan to stare balefully at him.

“So which one is it,” Benji grins at him, because Ethan is Ethan whether he is a man or a wolf, and Benji’s not going to get his face chewed off if he teases him. “You didn’t say yes or no.”

A snort, this time. Ethan gets up, turns around and curls up next to the fire, putting his head down and closing his eyes.

“Fine, fine,” Benji says, settling down and drawing his own blanket over him. “Good night, Ethan.”

Ethan cracks open one eye, flicks his ears, and closes them again. There’s a noise that sounds less like a growl and more like a rumble, which Benji takes to mean good night, Benji. He watches the rhythm of Ethan's breathing slow into a steady rise and fall of a slumbering wolf, the light of the crackling fire casting an orange hue over the mass of fur, before rolling over to stare up at the night sky.

They’ll be fine. Two months would go by quickly if they don’t run into any situation where someone requires help from a man and a wolf. They’ll meet up with Julia, Benji will explain what happened, and then step outside to let Julia kiss Ethan. Then Ethan would be a man again, and they’d head back down south to meet up with Luther and the rest, and things would go on as normal - Ethan brilliant and beautiful and Benji pining after him in the shadows.

He could try kissing Ethan now while he’s asleep and unaware, his traitorous heart whispers - and maybe Ethan would turn back into a man now, and they’d save so much time. He knows he loves Ethan, and he’ll know that Ethan loves him back. Practically a fantasy come true, validated by magic and its recognition of the innate essence of the people it touches. Benji would be so incredibly happy.

But if Ethan remains a wolf...

Benji doesn’t think his heart could take that. The risk is too great for him to bear.

So he continues looking up at the constellations, the brilliance of their stars far closer to Benji than Ethan ever would be, and falls asleep to passing notions of his lips hovering only slightly above Ethan’s forehead, never to touch them.

#mission impossible #benthan #benji dunn #ethan hunt #fic #benthan xmas exchange 2018

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