#and being able to go anywhere more than 20 minutes from my apartment
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#I'm tired as hell of being sick#the magnitude of the boredom that comes with being sick with a chronic illness is crazy#i have between 0.5-6 hours out of bed per day. usually around 3 or 4. i spend almost that whole time cooking and shopping and cleaning#and taking care of what needs to be done before time is up and i need to lay down again#when I'm in bed i don't have the energy for anything except watching easy to digest shows or youtube videos or scrolling on tumblr#maybe some writing or drawing if the brain fog isn't too bad#my life is just a haze of one million meds and supplements and doctors visit after doctors visit#and smoking weed so I'm not debilitated by nausea 24/7 and sleeping. so much sleeping. I'm so bored. I'm so desperately bored.#i miss having a shitty retail job and going out with my friends after work and going to events#and being able to go anywhere more than 20 minutes from my apartment#:( :( :(#im just so bored and tired on such a deep and painful level and i want to be well enough to feel like a real person again
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hi! i'd like to ask a one shot on bradley bradshaw in which y/n is a girl in her early/mid 20's who's maverick's daughter and her and bradley are secretly dating. one day mav finds something belonging to rooster in her bedroom and realises what her daughter has been up to, but isn't pleased at all.
thanks x
Bradley's aviators are the last thing Pete wants to find when he washes your sheets. You've insisted a thousand times that you're a big girl now, you don't need your dad to do your laundry for you, but he likes it. He likes taking care of you, even if he doesn't need to.
He doesn't like it now, though. Not when he spies a pair of muted sunglasses, a familiar chip in their bridge. He'd made that chip, more years ago than he's come to terms with, when he'd elbowed Goose and sent the man ramming face-first into a pole. Knowing who they belong to now unsettles him greatly, because they should not have been anywhere near your bed.
He pockets them, refraining from the urge to crush them just for the memories they hold.
Bradley stops by twenty minutes later, before Pete's had enough time to process what he's assuming is the situation. He's fuming, not only that his baby is having sex, but that she's having sex with Bradley.
"Hey, Mav." Bradley nods to the man, and Pete reconsiders the key he's given to Bradley for emergencies, seeing as he's been waltzing in to canoodle with his daughter.
"Hello, Bradley." His tone is icy, but Bradley's used to Pete having bad days sometimes. It's practically part of the job description.
Bradley pokes his head into the kitchen, then the bathroom, before finally exploring the living room where Maverick sits.
"I can't find my glasses," He offers up an explanation where it isn't requested, desperate to make conversation instead of suffering in silence, "I just don't know where I left 'em, they're not in my car, they're not in my apartment, they're- they're in your hands..." Bradley frowns at the aviators he can see in Maverick's grip, "Where were they?"
Maverick doesn't bother looking at him, glaring at the glasses instead, "In my daughter's bed."
"Oh, shit."
"Oh, shit? Oh, shit? Yeah, 'oh shit'! Bradley, how could you?" Pete shoots out of his seat, fist squeezing around the glasses, "I've spent her entire life telling her not to get involved with pilots, warning her off from men I know spend their time in testosterone-filled locker rooms of pure filth, who see women at bars like conquests, who get so crazed on deployment that they'll fuck anything in a skirt. Because I was that pilot, Bradley. She deserves better than someone like me, and I'm trying to make sure she gest that! And you know that, you were her bodyguard at bars! You were supposed to help me protect her, how long have you been going behind my back like this? When I trusted you?"
"Mav, slow down," Bradley keeps his voice calm, "I know a lot of pilots are like that, okay? Trust me I know, I work with Hangman. But that's fucked up, and I know that. You think I cheer him on in the locker room? You think I bet him he can't bone a lady in the bathroom? He's gross, and that's not how I act. You know that, I know you do. I know you know I care about her. And I don't blame you for being scared, but you're not gonna chase me away. That's- that's because I care about her. I care about her, so I'm not gonna leave just 'cause you tell me to. You can be mad all you want, but I'm not gonna dump her for it."
"How long?" Maverick repeats, face flushed in anger, "I said, how long?"
"Eight months." Bradley admits, voice strong. "It's been long enough to know I care about her. And I- I love her."
Pete's eyes flutter shut, then squeeze. He looks like he's in physical pain, and he's barely able to stop himself from crushing the glasses. Bradley doesn't dare speak, doesn't add fuel to whatever fire is burning in Pete's chest. He just stands there, strong and silent.
"I'm not happy about this." Pete finally grunts, keeping his eyes shut as he shoves his fist forwards, jamming the aviators into Bradley's chest. The younger pilot catches them, tucking them into the front of his shirt before Mav can change his mind and stomp on them.
"I'm sorry. I hope you see things differently when you see us together. All you know now is the, uh, undesirable stuff. But I treat her well."
"You'd better." Pete threatens, his voice barely above a whisper, "Go home. When I open my eyes I don't want to see you here. And no sneaking in tonight, or- or ever again. I'm installing cameras."
"Deal," Bradley promises, already on his way to the door in case Pete changes his mind and charges, "And- um, is it alright if I take her to dinner tonight?"
"Only if you take her somewhere nice," Pete decides, "And have her home by nine."
"Yes, sir."
When the door shuts behind Bradley, Pete lets out a monumental sigh. He feels like his lungs collapse with the breath, and all he can do is pray that you're actually treated to dinner, and that you two don't sneak off to some motel somewhere to pass the time.
#bradley bradshaw#bradley bradshaw x reader#bradley bradshaw x you#bradley bradshaw x y/n#bradley bradshaw imagine#bradley bradshaw oneshot#bradley bradshaw fanfiction#bradley bradshaw fluff#bradley bradshaw x reader fanfiction#bradley bradshaw blurb#bradley bradshaw drabble#rooster#rooster x reader#rooster imagine#rooster x you#rooster x y/n#rooster oneshot#rooster fluff#rooster blurb#rooster drabble#rooster fanfiction#rooster x reader fanfiction#bradley rooster bradshaw#bradley rooster bradshaw x reader#bradley rooster bradshaw x you#bradley rooster bradshaw x y/n#bradley rooster bradshaw fanfiction#bradley rooster bradshaw imagine#bradley rooster bradshaw oneshot#bradley rooster bradshaw fluff
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looking for more rp partners on discord!! would absolutely love another small town mumu (multimuse) or two, extra info about me & what i'm looking for under the cut!
hiya, thanks for clickin!! my name is mo! i'm 28, she/her, and i'm in the PST timezone! i'm exclusively looking for rp partners who are at least 21+ please (but preferably closer to my age)! i write on discord only in a private rp server (with tupperbox!) i'll make for us!! i looove organization and will make us some character & ship categories, as well as a town worldbuilding section, i'll also keep track of things like the in-game calendar and timelines in reference to our threads!! once i get invested in an rp, i'm IN THERE in there
i write all genders, but i only write f/f, m/f, and nb ships! i'm looking for writing partners who are similar in enjoying and wanting to write all genders (and who have equal muse for all their characters regardless of gender) as i'm interested in exploring multiple ships and characters! i am also looking for a partner who likes to write a wide variety of ages, as I enjoy writing characters anywhere between the ages of 20s-50s! i prefer using & being opposite by faceclaims with resources from films & tv (i'm not interested in opposites such as sabrina carpenter, harry styles, madison beer, and the like)
i'd love an rp partner who loves to worldbuild, plot, write headcanons (or do little rp memes), share inspo stuff, and chat ooc! pinterest boards and playlists are a bonus! i really enjoy building a friendship with my rp partners as well as a fun, collaborative writing experience! i would absolutely LOVE to create a small town with a new partner and come up with its location, the names of shops and other places, some NPC names, maybe plot up some town lore & history, ect, and fill it up with a bunch of diverse characters and relationships we can continue to add on to over time! i'm interested in exploring relationships of all kinds, including romantic, platonic, familial, antagonistic, ect! for example, new budding romances, exes on good and/or bad terms, toxic exes or relationships, old high school sweethearts, best friends, friends who fell out or grew apart, close siblings, sibling rivals, and just other fun and/or complicated connections ahoy! i just love multi-muses and being able to write a living, breathing town filled with characters who can all freely interact with each other!
because i'd love a slowly expanding cast of characters (maybe start with 2-3 characters each and go from there?), it's very preferable to me that replies stay on the shorter side, as in one paragraph or less (unless the thread is really plot significant or intense/emotional! ik those can get away for us length-wise LOL) this way we can prioritize quality over quantity, and actually get to see relationships & plots evolve over time in many threads rather than spend weeks or months on a single thread and never actually get to all the good stuff we've plotted. in my experience, it's way more fun to have an evolving mumu where replies take maybe 5-10 minutes to write, and it also allows us to keep the progress of the rp going at a continual pace, which keeps it fun, exciting, and fresh!
i am happy to write smut when the relationship/thread calls for it, and i also enjoy nsfw headcanons alongside sfw ones! i'd say i prefer a 80/20 story to smut ratio. i am also comfortable with most dark or complicated themes, but this will probably be case by case basis. i'm looking for a soap opera inspired town mumu, basically! a good variety mix of drama & intrigue, angst & fluff, smut & sweetness, tragedy & other dark themes, ect, but nothing too intensely or consistently dark or taboo
i'd consider myself to be a pretty active rp partner for the most part (i'm in college plus i work sporadic hours as a private tutor) and when replies are on the shorter side, i can usually do at least one set of replies (if we are writing multiple threads at a time, i personally enjoy writing 2 at a time!) a day, but likely more, and i'm down for rapid-fire sessions as well when i can! i prefer my partner to have similar activity (it's difficult for me to stay invested in an rp when it mostly just consists of hcs & shared inspo, and when there is very little actual writing happening), though i don't at ALL want my partner to feel pressured to write replies!! it's just a hobby, not a jobby! things happen & life gets busy! but i really appreciate communication and transparency with rp friends! just lmk what's up and i'll do the same for you! and if you can't do replies for some reason, i'm always happy to just chat ooc or do some inspo chatting or plotting!!
this got so long, if you read all of it ily! if you have any questions or are interested in all this shit by me, please send me an IM!! or if you like or comment on this ad, i'll reach out to you! ty!! if i don't reach out it's because i found something in your guidelines that i don't think is compatible with this plot ad (usually has to do with desired reply length being multi-paragraph/novella, listed low activity, if the blog is heavily smut-centric, or rules state exclusively wanting to write one gender or kind of ship) but if your guidelines are out of date pls feel free to reach out anyway!!
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Our Hunt for a Home Continues: February 19th - 24th, 2023.
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We received a call on February 16th about an opportunity that had opened up with a low-income housing program designed for disabled people. We had been waiting on this opportunity for 4 or 5 months and were ecstatic when the call finally came through. The other units we were looking into renting were in the worst part of town, and charging $700 or more per month for a 1 bedroom or studio unit.
We were instructed to head over to this apartment complex on Feb 20th to fill out paperwork. We hopped in an Uber and went on over. We were shown the unit, then handed an application, told to get a $16 money order to cover the application fee, and come back and hand it all in. Well, it sounded a lot easier than it ended up being.
We don’t own a car and can’t drive due to disabilities (hallucinations, dissociation, anxiety, you get the picture). So in order to get this money order, we asked what places nearby could get us one. We were told to head to a local Circle K. We looked on Google Maps, saw it was 3 minutes away, and started walking. Well, it thought we were in a car, so it meant 3 minutes driving time.
After walking for about 15 minutes before realizing something was up, our legs felt like jello. Our left leg had a pinched nerve in it that day and was sending shooting pain up our hip and down our thigh with every step. Our hypermobile & arthritic joints were already screaming in pain and our feet needed a rest after just one city block of walking. We had to call another Uber. The problem was, for whatever reason, our cellphone service provider has abysmal service in the downtown Albuquerque area.
We lost service about 5 times trying to hail Ubers over the course of the day, causing us to have several public meltdowns. It’s hard to stay calm when your phone is on 20% battery, you keep losing your only way to hail a ride, and you’re in too much pain to walk anywhere where someone can help you. After a long fight we got connected with a driver who was very understanding of our situation, despite our language barrier.
They took us to several locations for free, as we first went to a Circle K gas station that didn’t do money orders, then attempted another gas station across the street, then a bank, and so on. It took a lot of stops but the driver didn’t mind, as I was paying for the longer stops across town. I didn’t care either because it became apparent that it was President’s Day after I tried to go to a bank and it was closed. I almost gave up, but decided to call the Circle K near my home, who turned out, did do money orders. I redirected my driver from dropping me off at home, got the money order, ran back to the apartment complex with just half an hour to spare before they closed.
Filling out the application filled me with dread. The desk staff person was very nice, but she was very blunt about the entire approval process. Because they can only take a percentage of your earned income, they are a very strict program that requires each tenant to pass a credit score check AND an extensive background check that monitors ALL of the renter’s history. She told me that this part of the approval process is where a lot of people get turned away. A lot of people don’t make it, she said.
After handing in my application, I knew it was fucked. I had been holding my breath and waiting for this unit. It seemed like it would come right in time- just right before the 28th, when I’m set to be homeless. But I got the call 2 days later where she said I was denied, due to an instance of unpaid rent in my past. I sighed heavily, asked her if I would be able to apply again after I got that sorted, and she said yes.
I freaked the fuck out, texted every local friend that I could, and let them know of my predicament. I was very lucky in finding a local friend whose roommate is leaving in 2 weeks. They are willing to charge me $495/month, which is way lower than anything I’ve been able to find on the market. We agreed to help each other out until I can figure something more permanent out. It’s not a solution I’d like to take, as I barely know this person, but if it helps both of us, so be it.
The instance of unpaid rent in another state was due to us having lived in Missouri at the time, far away from friends, family, and medical care. We were living with some folks at the time who ended up ghosting us after we helped them move in together. It left us stranded in a very cold state with unsurvivable winters and no programs for homelessness. There was no medicaid or other insurance that would cover me. I couldn’t even get my proper medical care while there, and after a while, my partner and I at the time decided we needed to leave for some place cheaper and safer. The heavy winters were too scary for us, as two people who have been homeless.
The landlord here would not allow us to terminate our lease early despite us expressing that it was an emergency and we literally could not stay any longer due to my health failing severely while in the harsh winters. I was developing arthritis symptoms that I had never seen before, and I was getting so sick that I couldn’t function. Still, my landlord wouldn’t budge and said we had to pay for the rest of the lease. We refused and left anyways, but the landlord didn’t care, I suppose.
I found out today that there is potentially help to get this debt paid for and consolidated, which will make me eligible for the low-income housing program for disabled people once more. I am not going to hold my breath that this is a fast process by any means, but, I am hoping that they will be able to clear that up so I can ever hope to rent an apartment of my own again. My credit score is 9 points under the threshold they wanted, so that will be my next goal…
The only other units in the city I could find that can drum up a lease for me with my circumstances were trying to charge $685/month and $725/month, one of which being in one of the worst parts of town. I would have to pay a massive $650 deposit at both of these places, plus have to get utilities set up in my name, as well as get internet set up for my job, and a lot of other costs that will not be apparent at first, but will stack on very quickly.
I am very scared moving in with roommates in general- I am not afraid of my current roommate, but I have lived with many, many different roommates, in many different places, for many different reasons. Roommate situations fall apart very easily. Money is almost always the thing that tears roommates and friends apart- whether it’s someone not paying their portion of the rent, not buying enough groceries, not paying for a bill, gambling, shopping when they can’t afford it, and so forth…
My case worker helped me contact a local Christian charity who does housing programs and we were able to contact someone who actually seems like they can help me with permanent, long term housing- they said all of their programs are permanent, but are best suited for people in low income situations and poor health. When they asked where I was headed my case worker said a friend’s couch, and this was the first person on the phone who said, after learning about my income being a fluctuating thing, “well now that makes me even more nervous- because if she* can’t pay that $500 one time, she’s very well gonna be right back out on the street. Roommate situations almost always fall apart. I don’t feel like that’s safe for her.” [*”She”s in this context referring to me/my system.]
This charity requires that the individual stays for at least one day at a homeless shelter in order to get an official letter of homelessness. I have been to and spent time in several shelters in my city, I don’t mind one day if it means a potential future of secure housing. They told me a lot of other things that sound quite promising. I just have to hope that I can hold out until they can get something prepared for me. They said they have furnished units that are basically ready and waiting…
Staying with a friend for now isn’t the end of the world. In fact, I’m going to save some money by not having to pay for a deposit, movers, and potentially storage, now. But I’m nervous, as any kind of roadblock can cause this situation to fall apart. Disagreements, not getting a lot of money from Etsy one month, physical and mental illness, personal issues, and other life stressors can cause a lot of problems. Plus, this person may eventually decide they want someone else to move in instead, as it is their place, not mine, and that is their decision to make.
With any hope, I can get my past rental dues cleared, and have a better chance with these programs. I am hoping and praying, but that will take time, more time than I have. It is February 24th, 2023 as of writing this, and I have to be out of my apartment on February 28th. I have to have all of my possessions and myself and my pet rat out on this date, or else police will be called, and my things will be thrown on to the sidewalk, and into dumpsters. My case worker confirmed that this is the case, and I have known people who have gone through this personally.
I am very frightened. It has been hard to stay calm. I’m not exactly excited to be working with a Christian charity as someone who is visibly trans- “”female”” birth marker and deadname, but High T body, deep voice, and short hair. It’s caused problems with domestic violence shelters in the past, and can cause problems with religious organizations. I just have to hope and pray that these people love Jesus more than they hate queers.
My case worker was pretty convinced we’d be able to get our hotel stay covered by some local programs, but after 2 hours of phone calls this morning, we discovered that all of the hotel voucher programs in town have used up their funds, and the majority of them require the individual to have a child, which I do not. I have littles, but they’re system kids, not bodily ones, but they’re not so kind as to consider any of that.
I honestly didn’t anticipate any of those programs coming through. I’m just hoping that I’m able to be able to afford the two weeks in an extended stay hotel and that not too many more things come up. I didn’t really want it to have to come to this, but it’s either this, or sign a 1 year lease for 1 bedroom apartment in the least safe part of town, for $685+/month. I can’t afford that, it’s unrealistic. As much as I’d like to totally have a place all to myself right now, I can’t do it unless one of these programs actually works with me.
Anyway, I just wanted to explain why it’s been so hard for us to post regularly lately. This has all been over the course of one week. One of the worst days of our collective life was on Tuesday, having to run around town to get a money order just to be told we won’t have a place to live come the 28th… heart breaking. It felt very uncomfortable to beg friends yet again for a place to stay, but this is the life of queer, poor and disabled people. We have to do what we have to to survive and it’s not pretty. Sometimes it involves putting strain on people you love and none of us want to do it.
With any hope our disability benefits get approved sometime soon and we won’t have to wait much longer to afford to live. But until now things are very tight, and any help that we get goes directly toward our survival and staying off the street.
This is why we take the time to thank everyone we can for their help and support- it makes all the difference, especially when programs that are designed to help people like me fail miserably, or have unexpected roadblocks. Every bit of help, even the smallest donations or purchases from our store enable us to stay safe, and we appreciate each and every one greatly.
We will try to post more updates as things progress. We are finding it a bit easier to endure this when we share updates, as it helps give people an idea of what life is like for people who aren’t quite so privileged. Things that take others a few minutes can take hours for us, given our lack of reliable transportation and inconsistent health.
Thank you for reading, take care, stay safe, and I hope you find an easier time staying sheltered if you are a similarly disabled, poor queer person. It’s not easy out there. We have to take care of one another, it is the only way.
Rook
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Creature from the Haunted Sea (1961)
While I didn't enjoy this film, that doesn't mean you won't. No matter what I say, the people involved in this project did it: they actually made a movie. That's something to be applauded. With that established...
There are only two good things about Creature from the Haunted Sea. The first is its laughably stupid-looking monster, whose comedic appearance was used in the opening credits of Malcolm in the Middle. It brings back warm memories. The second is that it’s in the public domain. This means you can easily find it for free or packaged together with 49 other horror films for less than $20 - like I did. That price tag is a valuable lesson, which we’ll get to in a bit.
During the Cuban Revolution, American gambler and racketeer Renzo Capetto (Anthony Carbone) is hired by deposed General Tostada (Edmundo Rivera Alvarez) to smuggle the national treasury out of the country. Capetto and his criminal crew, which include his girlfriend Mary-Belle Monahan (Betsy Jones-Moreland), her brother Happy Jack (Robert Bean) and animal impressionist Pete Peterson Jr. (Beach Dickerson) come up with an idea. They will murder the General and his loyalists, then keep the gold for themselves. To avoid suspicion, they will convince the Cubans they are being stalked by a sea monster. Little do they know a real-life monster is following their ship. if the secret agent onboard, XK150 (Robert Towne) had any kind of brains, he’d be able to figure this out quickly and put an end to it.
Even though this is a horror comedy and that much of the criticisms that could be thrown towards Creature from the Haunted Sea were likely intentional, the movie’s not funny so they turn into marks against it anyway. The characters are flat, uninteresting and annoying, with Pete Person Jr. easily winning a gold medal in irritation. Speaking almost entirely in animal noises thanks to a brain injury, his schtick gets old immediately. You’ll spend the brief 75-minute running time wishing he would shut up or get torn apart by the sea monster, which is obviously a scuba diver covered in seaweed (or something that looks like it) with toothpicks glued on the end of their gloves, vampire teeth, and ping pong balls for eyes. Go into any Halloween store on November 1st and you could piece together something better.
Even before the dreadful creature shows up, this premise is just dumb. I know if my shifty shipmates told me two men were just murdered by a sea monster I wouldn’t believe them. No one with their head on straight would. What’s much more likely to happen to Capetto is that the Cubans will see right through his dumb scheme and chop him up into shark bait.
It’s a bad movie and would’ve been bad even in 1961 when the Get Smart comedy thing was popular. If there was any kind of justice in this world, this desert of laughs would’ve been forgotten to the ages. Instead, it made its way into the public domain and regularly finds itself for sale/viewing. The problem is that no one cared about this movie then and they certainly don’t now. Every print you’ll see is scratchy and dusty, with muddy sound that will require you to crank up the volume just so you can understand what the hell is going on. Worse, you won’t find any subtitle option anywhere. You practically have to read the Wikipedia article just to understand what’s happening. It got so bad with the disc I was watching that I actually wound up going on Tubi, hoping that a better print would be available there. I got “lucky”, starting watching again. In no time, I was looking forward to the commercial breaks. At least those were lively, professionally made, colorful and audible.
Suddenly, it hit me. The only reason I was watching this movie is because it came in a box set I bought years ago. I would have to do this 49 more times to “get my money’s worth”. Meanwhile, there are thousands of other movies I could be watching. Even a horrible film like The Snowman or The Love Guru didn’t make me exhausted because I was able to passively absorb them. This was work. A job I wasn’t going to get paid for so I’m cutting my losses. I might've wasted my money, but I'm done wasting my time.
Even if you were sent back in time to see Creature from the Haunted Sea in a top-notch theatre with impeccable audio in the most comfortable seat ever made, I still wouldn’t recommend it. Today, presented like this? It would take all the gold in Cuba to convince me to hit "play". (On DVD, September 13, 2021)
#Creature from the Haunted Sea#Roger Corman#Charles B. Griffith#Antony Carbone#Betsy Jones-Moreland#1961 movies#1961 films
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Happy Winter Sostice everyone!
On past solstices I've often posted "Happy Solstice!" and mentioned something about how one day I would find a way to attend some sort of Secular Solstice event with rationalists. Well, now that I live in reasonable driving distance from New York, it's finally happened, the weekend before last (evening of the 10th). While the experience was anticlimactic in some ways, I still think it's worth recounting at least for myself to look back on if for no one else.
The event took place in a theater in a dense part of NYC and driving there was... a mistake. This wound up overshadowing the event itself both in terms of time/energy and (almost) in terms of giving me a memorable experience and feeling of accomplishment -- given how doubtful it was at one time in my life that I was ever going to be a competent driver given some of my neurological difficulties, every additional intense driving scenario that I've managed to get through with flying colors over the past three years since I got my second car and first began to do city driving feels like a serious victory.
Long story short, I forgot to figure in parking to my timetable for arriving at the event and, although I got to the correct street at around the start of the event, finding a parking garage that wasn't full and/or going to cost me over $50 was a challenge, one which involved 5-7-point turns each time I needed to change course, with each "point" of the turn accompanied by waiting for a sequence of pedestrians or cyclists to pass in front of and behind me. In the end I found a garage that would take my car for two hours for a charge of $30, which I've heard since then is quite a bargain for parking in NYC. I rushed into the theater around 20 minutes late, but they were only just getting started, by singing "We'll Meet Again", followed by "Still Alive", so maybe they figured that others would have vehicle/transportation issues as well.
I stayed near the back and eventually spoke to the people sitting near me but only them, apart from during the intermission when I walked around and introduced myself to a few more people. My real prospect of socializing and getting to know these rationalists was the afterparty, which I knew would take place at a different location in New Jersey shortly after the main event. (There was also going to be an un-conference the next day, but I didn't want to deal with lodging and a full weekend out of town and planned to instead drive back home very late after the afterparty.) As it turned out, my experience of the afterparty never happened, again because of my car being involved. I knew I had to check it out of the parking garage before the two hours were up, and I was able to make the lengthy drive into the afterparty location, driving under the Hudson to do so (there's something that always feels very momentous and exciting about crossing the Hudson for me), but parking anywhere reasonably near it proved to be completely impossible: the only parking garage I could locate anywhere near it turned out to no longer exist, and meanwhile, circling over and over waiting for street parking to open (you really have to be there and ready to act the moment someone else leaves a street spot) wasn't getting me anywhere (in more senses than one), and meanwhile I was tired and very hungry, having still not managed to get dinner. I finally had to admit defeat, embracing the silver lining that I would only be driving home a little uncomfortably late instead of during the wee hours of the morning. So, in the end that was at least five hours of driving for an event that lasted less than two hours for me. Next time (like if I decide to attend the next solstice event in June), I'm definitely traveling by train.
Despite coming away feeling disappointed that I didn't get more out of all the trouble I went to, there's something enjoyable in basking in the freedom I have in my life now, even when I've generally preferred the idea of being more tied down by this age: I can very spontaneously decide to drive over two hours away for just an evening with total strangers and pay $65 to do so ($30 for the parking and $35 for a ticket to the event) and not have to worry terribly much about the possibility of needing to pay more if anything goes wrong. That's a level of freedom tons of people I know have never really had, that I might not have forever and may one day be looking back upon nostalgically.
Anyway, the actual event.
Complemented with the afterparty or a chance to really get to mingle with the crowd, I think it may have been a fantastic experience. As it happened, I found it an inspiring and very intriguing experience with the potential to be much more if I weren't such an outsider and if I'd had the chance to properly mingle. The crowd of people, to start with, were in some sense the first roomful of self-identifying (aspiring) rationalists I've ever met in meatspace, or at least I think to a greater extent than those I've met at SSC/ACX meetups (those crowds are united in having some medium-to-strong interest in Scott Alexander's writing, but this is distinct from being fully acquainted with or part of the rationalist community). And... I don't quite know the right words to articulate this, but... they looked and presented and behaved exactly like I always imagined a group of rationalists to come across: in terms of age (from 20's to early 40's but hardly anyone looked older than that) and degree of unconventional presentation (moderate, nothing really flashy, but many somewhat unconventional but looking very comfortable in their own skin, a great deal of variety in styles). Since I didn't do much direct interaction with them, I can't speak much to their personal mannerisms, but my general impression of that was very similar. Overall I'd feel quite comfortable socializing in a group like that.
There was no program posted anywhere that I could find (nor has there been, since), and I really didn't know much of what to expect. I had seen video footage of a Secular Solstice in the Bay Area a few years ago, which suggested that most of the event would be songs interspersed with readings, which was exactly what this event turned out to be. The readings were of parts of essays written by various prominent members of the rationalist community (one was by Scott Alexander but I didn't remember it). I believe the only person who came onto the stage to read their own writing was Zvi Mowshowitz, a name I vaguely knew as I've seen some of his articles pop up from time to time show up in my Wordpress reading feed. Apart from Zvi, I didn't encounter any figures I was familiar with (it occurred to me that Aella might be there, as I believe she lives in the area and does some socializing with the rationalist community, but I didn't notice any sign of her).
But what the event was really about was music, and that was by far the most impressive aspect of it. There was a full band on stage as well as the guy running the event and a couple of other organizers who took turns leading the singing. Some songs, like the first two plus at least one Beatles song ("Here Comes the Sun"), are fairly well known, but what really impressed me was how many songs were written by rationalist community members themselves, and they were good! As in, really good. Both in the poetry of their lyrics and in their musicality. Their general messages and turns of phrase were calibrated at just the right balance of being cerebral and beautifully moving (many about the wonders of technological progress, but also a lot of the content was about groping toward societal progress and a culture based on love and togetherness). I would love a list of the songs and where to find lyrics and recordings of them and so on, but again, nothing in the way of a program seems to be posted anywhere. Lyrics flashed on a big screen; audience participation was of course highly encouraged and really enjoyable for me. Altogether the musical aspect made me compare this experience very favorably to my recent (since 2019) experiences with Unitarian Universalist services: although my very favorite aspect of my "new" UU congregation that I had an ongoing but rocky relationship with was the amazing quality of the music at their services, I found this Solstice event a more spiritually gripping experience than probably any UU service I've ever been to. This is despite the vibe at UU being more overtly about spirituality, and being very touchy-feely (to use a term I'm not super fond of, but after someone suggested it to me it's hard for me to think of something that better describes the more recent UU vibe). Nobody at Solstice appeared to crying or in the thralls of profound emotions or anything transcendent exactly, but everyone appeared to be very earnest and serious (though having fun in the lighter parts) and compared to 2019-and-later UU, I felt a stronger sense of emotionally vibing with a community; this is despite also knowing I was a pretty big outsider who didn't actually know a single person in the room.
As a side note, whoever put the program together did an excellent job of setting it up to convey the sensation of going through a very long night but seeing the dawn ahead, which is only what's most appropriate for celebrating the winter solstice (and at an event taking place well after sunset). I like to imagine the summer solstice version having quite a different feel and hope I might get to find out in six months.
Overall, interesting and promising. Hard to say, but maybe I'll be back in June.
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turning 20 in a few months and i have many thoughts about it because tbh i am really unhappy with what im doing and where i am in my life bc I should’ve been doing so much more but i genuinely just can’t afford to, and it’s so disheartening that I have all this talent and intellect and i can’t afford to be recognised for it because university costs money and i live on my own with no help from family or really anyone in an apartment 40 minutes away from town when it’s under 10 mins drive, and I can’t get a job anywhere in town because of my fuckass dad and mum because as soon as ppl see my last name or even me they know whose daughter I am and turn me away and irs soooo annoying it makes me wanna explode!!!!! last year was a string of situations hips and heartache and I really wanna open my heart and really be in love with someone again because for some reason it’s clicked in my head this year that I deserve more than I’ve been given romantically. I want to fall in love as hard as I did when I was 14 with someone who can actually reciprocate those feelings and not bounce around how they feel or be a terrible person overall. I just wish I was in Canberra going to uni and working and meeting new people and seeing new things and just being somewhere where I don’t have to be reminded of every single bad thing that’s ever happened to me because I’ve lived in the same town my whole life!! I just need a car or something and I will be set I think, but honestly I just wish I was able to do more.
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spent the holidays back home with my parents in rural/suburban area, and it just really made me appreciate living in a city, especially a more pedestrian friendly one.
need a specialty ingredient or out of something you need?? can walk to a store in like 20 minutes if i have the time! there’s a drugstore and dollar store a 5 minute walk the other way. the store you’re near is out, there’s 4 other grocery stores and 2 specialty markets in less than a 10 minute drive.
multiple library branches!!! i can literally go wherever i need to for a task and i’m close enough to a library to just pop in, that’s crazy!! i didnt know how easy it was to get a library card, but it was less than 5 minutes, and they have a spice club where they give away new and different spices every month!!
weekly events that happen at different parts of town! a stitch and bitch event and acoustics night at a cafe! a drink and draw night at a bar! food truck friday! sushi discount wednesday!
a designated park that has tons of free events open to the public!! a weekly farmer’s market!!
walk through an alleyway where trash pickup is downtown, and there’s a dresser there someone is tossing that you didnt have the money for! someone’s throwing out trimmings from their bamboo trees, and some hangers that they don’t need anymore!
being able to walk to a place that offers lgbtq+ support! being able to walk somewhere that can just help you file taxes for free! neighborhood pantries and libraries where you can take and give as you need! flyers and organizations that offer participation in mutual aid!!! recycling programs!!! local people have the ability to recycle glass now, and i’ve been able to volunteer and help deliver groceries to people for free in city mutual aid programs here and it’s. just surprisingly easy to just get involved with!
at home, there is one walmart, and a 30 minute drive to get to another, different walmart. it’s over an hour in any direction to go anywhere else. libraries and townhalls are on the opposite side of town from residential areas, fresh produce is sold at a stand like 35 miles away. towns are ripped to shreds and broken apart and the downtown squares are empty. it’s isolating! it’s empty! you cannot walk anywhere!
just made me feel grateful to be somewhere where community isn’t limited to a household. made me feel hopeful about something again.
#bri's absolutely irrelevant life#my mom asked me if i ever thought id movr back home but like#genuinely it’s so isolating in every way#living somewhere that you can walk and have events to do just. genuinely makes life easier to live#i hope we see a future where cities and towns can be more human focused#i want more grassroots organizations and volunteer opportunities for mutual aid#i want accessible libraries and databases and workshops#i want to be able to give a book i loved to someone who may need it#i want people to not have to risk life and limb by walking to get groceries#it makes me sad knowing i probably won’t afford to live here anymore and i hope i can still have some of these things wherever i go next
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Wanna Be Yours
Pairing: Dadsbestfriend! Bucky (mid/late 40s) x reader (in early/mid twenties)
Summary: Y/N surprises bucky on a business trip and he promises to be hers.
Warnings: SMUTTY stuff (18+ only pleasee), unprotected sex, creampie, oral sex (m receiving), riding, teasing, significant age gap, reader takes charge, “Doll/sweets/baby/sweetheart”, some cute ass shit at the beginning and end tho
WC: about 3K im sorry I was really H*rny yesterday and I was unable to do anything about it as i was stuck in the car all damn day
Note: So I was really h*rny yesterday and this happened lol I’m sorry. Loosely based on the song wanna be yours-arctic monkeys. Also this will probably be the only smut I ever write bc I don’t wanna become an 18+ blog or make anyone uncomfortable (not that 18+ blogs are bad tho lemme set that straight, most of my fav blogs are)
PS thank you for the love on my first ever fic with Peter Parker x reader, it made me so happy that ppl didn’t think I suck lol ( and i guess i lied saying i would probably never write another one shot lol)
You do NOT have my permission to repost this anywhere, I will come for u if you plagiarize ok bye
It was no secret that Bucky liked to be in charge in the bedroom, and you had absolutely no problem with that. After all, he was older and more experienced; he knew how to make your body sing. But this week you were craving something a little different. Bucky had been away on a business trip all weekend and you really missed him, not just the sex (but I mean…) but just cuddling and talking to him about your day; you were feeling clingy. You decide to text bucky even though you knew he couldn’t answer right away because he was currently in a meeting.
Y/N: I mis youu :( when will you be back tomorrow?
You just wandered around your apartment for the next 20 minutes, casually checking your phone about every 30 seconds just in case bucky was able to sneak in a text. He finally replied after 30 minutes, right as his meeting was ending at 3.
Bucky: Hey doll, I miss you too <3
Bucky: unfortunately one of the investors this morning had to push their meeting to late tomorrow afternoon, so I’m not gonna be home until very late tomorrow night :(
Y/N: dammit :(
Y/N: well good luck at the pitch meeting tomorrow, I love and miss you <3
Bucky: don’t gimme that pout I know your making doll, ill see you tonight on facetime! :)
Y/N: haha u know me so well, and yes you’ll see me tonight ;) (but I still miss u)
Bucky: I know doll I hate it too, see you tonight. Love you <3
Y/n: love you too <3
You didn’t know if you could go until late Monday without seeing bucky. As you laid on the couch smiling sadly about missing your love, an idea popped into your head. He was only two and a half hours away, and he wouldn’t be back at his hotel for another 4 hours at least. Fuck it, you were gonna go drive to his hotel and surprise him. You couldn’t be away so long, you felt super clingy this weekend and you needed to be on top of with him.
You quickly ran around your apartment, packing an overnight bag and you saw the package that arrived earlier on your floor that you completely forgot about because you couldn’t stop thinking of Bucky. You remembered its contents e(a completely evil lingerie set) and threw it in the bag with a smirk on your face.
The drive to Bucky’s hotel felt like forever and you had to remind yourself to stop speeding because you were so excited. When you finally got to his hotel, you had to convince the manager to give you a key to his room, proving that you were the man’s girlfriend with several pictures on your phone which was slightly embarrassing because in almost every picture, at least one of you was half-naked. Worth it. You thought. When you arrived in his room you quickly went into the bathroom to change into a little black dress (with a surprise underneath). Then as you were sitting on his bed waiting for him, you realized it would still be a while before he would get back, so you decided to tidy up his things, packing his clothes and organizing his suitcase. Pleased with your work, you sat back down on the bed and looked at your phone for a while. You finally got pulled out of your Instagram daze when you heard Bucky’s voice in the hallway laughing at something a coworker said. You quickly threw your phone on the dresser, straightened up you dress, and sat at the edge of the bed with a huge smile on your face, giddy to surprise him.
As he turned the doorknob he was still looking behind him talking to the man. When he finally said goodbye and turned his head around, his eyebrows raised up and his jaw dropped, which was quickly replaced with a smile even larger than yours.
“What are you doing here?” he asked, running towards you and throwing his briefcase on the floor.
He picked you up in a tight hug and you squealed, legs immediately wrapping around his waist.
“I told you you’d see me tonight!” you said, still clung to him like a koala.
“W-what?” He replied, still in shock. Letting your legs fall back to the floor.
“I just missed you too much” you shrugged.
If any human could embody “heart eyes” it was Bucky at that moment- he’s such a softie for you. He pulled your face towards him and gave you one of the most loving kisses you’ve ever had in your life. You were expecting it to be passionate and rough, but it was soft, delicate and loving, and your heart melted into a puddle. After your lips parted, you gazed into each other’s eyes before being pulled up in another tight hug. You giggled and wrapped your legs around him again.
“I guess you missed me too huh?” you laughed.
“Oh doll, you have no idea.”
You wrapped your hands in his hair, massaging his neck and he moaned loudly.
“Mm, that feels nice.” He hummed.
“You tired baby?” you asked, he seemed like he needed some TLC (and you were ready to give it to him).
“I am so exhausted.” He replied, making you frown behind his back.
You slowly slid down his body, back onto your feet again, and kept massaging his head. He looked at you lovingly before looking around his hotel room, his eyebrows pulled in confusion.
“Did you clean up in here?”
“Yep, while I was waiting for ya,” you replied, smiling.
His whole face softened.
“Oh, I really don’t deserve you doll.” Making you smile and shake your head.
“Oh yes you do.” You replied making him smile and his heart flutter in his chest.
He pulled you in for another kiss, this one with more fire and longing in it than the last one. His large hands grabbed you ass to pull you closer to him and you moaned into the kiss. You pressed your body against him even tighter and ran your hands through his hair making him moan. You could feel his pants tent start to grow against you and you smirked and moved you lips down to the side of his neck making him groan.
You pull back and look at him, hard and eyes half lidded, it turns you on so much you feel your panties dampening.
“Hey Buck?” you whisper, lips mere inches apart.
“Hmm?” he hums in response.
“I have another surprise for you.” You whisper into his ear before pulling back to look at his face.
“What’s that, doll?” he whispers.
You smirk and step away from him, noticing the confusion on his face before you pull your dress over your head and throw it onto the floor.
Bucky’s jaw drops, making you bite your lip and smirk even more. This was gonna be fun.
“Oh, fuck me,” He groans.
“Oh, I fully intend on it, Buck” you smirk.
He just groans and starts walking towards you.
“Buck?”
“Yeah sweets?”
“Wanna be mine tonight?”
“Fuck, I’ll be yours forever doll.” He says, making you whimper. You pull him against you by his tie, pressing your bodies together.
Your lips crash and tongues swirl together fighting for dominance. Hands moving up and down each other’s bodies like animals. Bucky squeezing your ass so tight you know there’s gonna be marks.
You both pull back enough so you can shimmy off Bucky’s tie and throw it over his head before unbuttoning his shirt and peeling it off him. You then sink to your knees and undo his belt quickly before slowly unzipping his pants, kissing the outside of his member though his pants making him exhale a breath sharply.
“Fuck” he breathes out.
You don’t want to tease him too much (yet) so after another kiss, you shove his pants off and lay down on the bed, his body caging you under him.
The passionate makeout session resumes with Bucky still hard in his boxers pressing against your clothed core. You suddenly remember what you wanted and pull back from the kiss.
“Wait, no” you whisper.
Bucky pulls back, confused and nervous he did something to hurt you.
“What’s wrong?” he whispers.
You take advantage of his confusion and roll him over so you were straddling him with a smirk on your face.
Bucky moans at your actions, core pressing tight against him.
“You said you’d be mine.” You breathe over his lips. Moaning as being in charge is giving you a whole rush of feelings and confidence.
You kiss him, and he lets you dominate the kiss this time, biting his lips and grinding on him. He bucks his hips onto your and you pull back.
“Don’t worry baby, I’ll take care of you, I’ll make you feel so good.”
Bucky moans at your words as you start to kiss all the way down his body, leaving little hickies down his chest. When you get towards his boxers he thinks your gonna kiss his member or pull down his boxers, but instead you go back up his chest, licking a stripe from his belly button all the way to one of his nipples, up his neck, to his lips.
Bucky moans, loud. You give him one more kiss before deciding to stop teasing him (kinda). You quickly kiss down his chest again and then plant a few kisses on his aching cock through his boxers. He bucks his hips and is whimpering under you. Fuck, that turns you on. Your big strong boyfriend who could probably crush you with one arm, whimpering and practically begging under you. Your panties are fucking soaked and you don’t think you can deny your own pleasure too much longer. You pull down his boxers and his cock is throbbing and dripping precum.
“Shit” you moan at the sight.
You lick the precum off him and he gives a high pitched moan that goes straight to your core.
“Baby please, I- I can’t.”
“Don’t worry baby I got you.” You reply as you take his full member into your mouth, sucking lightly.
Bucky moans and bucks his hips into your mouth. You push them back down and suck a few more times before getting off of him. He looks worried for a second before you slide your panties off and straddle his cock.
“Still wanna be mine?”
“Always” he replies.
You sink down onto him, jaw dropping and eyes closing at the feeling. You don’t think you’ll ever get used to him no matter how many times he’s been inside you. You both moan as his whole cock is finally buried inside you.
“Fuck Bucky, you feel so fucking good in me.” You moan, starting to rock your hips.
“God, I’m so fucking wet for you.”
Bucky continues to give low moans as you start to ride him.
“Fuck baby, I love you like this.” He says, making you start to ride him harder, moaning at his words.
His hands come grab your hips to help you ride him faster, harder.
“Baby- shit I’m close already.” He pleads.
“All for me? Shit baby aren’t I the lucky one?” You moan.
Bucky’s grip on your hips tighten and he starts to fuck up into you. He was about to blow.
You moan loudly at the feeling. “Cum in me baby please I need it.”
After a particularly hard thrust into your wet pussy you feel him spilling inside you. He lets out one of those vulgar high pitched moans and grunts that make your brain short circuit and your eyes roll back while your pussy clenches around him. You feel yourself getting close, but you want to give him another orgasm, so you sink down on him fully and slowly ride him, hearing him whimpering and moaning. You feel him get hard in you again (thank you supersoldier serum) and you rock back and forth on him. You reach down to rub your clit, but Bucky sees it and swats your hand away, replacing it with his metal one.
“Oh fuck” you moan at the cool sensation.
You start to bounce up and down on him again, the knot in your abdomen building and heating up. You feel yourself close to being undone as you ride him and his other hand runs up your body and squeezes your nipple through your thin lace bra. You moan and feel yourself clench around him, making him moan.
“Fuck- I’m gonna c-“ you get interrupted by the white hot explosion of your orgasm. Your eyes roll back, jaw hangs open and toes curl as you feel that release knock throughout your whole body, making you shake. You let out those high pitched moans and whines that only Bucky makes you feel.
Feeling you clench around him and watching your completely fucked out face, you feel Bucky’s thick cock twitch inside of you, and you moan as you feel him release in you again. Fuck that makes you feel good. So good you can’t think or move and you start to collapse on top of Bucky, but he slightly catches you and lays you down on his chest, both breathing heavy, with his cock still inside you, cum dripping all down your legs and onto Bucky.
You can’t speak, can’t think, the pleasure totally ruining you. After what feels like forever, you feel your breathing start to return to normal, as does Bucky’s, and you feel his hand rubbing up and down your back, grounding you back to earth from wherever on cloud nine you were.
You hum as you feel yourself finally calm down.
“Holy fuck, doll” you feel him lowly whine in your ear. You can only moan lowly in response.
“Baby that was fucking amazing.”
“Mmhmm.” You hum.
“…but I think I’m gonna lose my mind if you keep clenching around me.” He chuckles.
“oh shit, sorry,” you mumble out. You try to push up off of him but the farthest you got was placing your hands on his shoulders before your body gave up on you.
“Oh my God, I can’t move” you whisper. You’re so fucked out, your body won’t respond to your brain anymore.
Bucky moans at your words and slowly rolls both of you so youre on your side facing him. He reaches down and pulls his soft cock out of your pussy, moaning when he sees a burst of cum leaking from you.
You moan at the feeling of him exiting your body. You look him in the eyes and give him a lazy smile. His eyes sparkle back at you and his hand comes up to rub your cheek.
“Mm” you hum at the feeling.
“That was fucking incredible” he says, making you smile wider.
“I’m not disagreeing” you quip.
He chuckles lightly before saying “you gotta do this more often.”
“What, surprise you on business trips?” you question.
“No” he rolls his eyes and smiles, “Well yes actually, but I was talking about you absolutely taking charge tonight.”
“Oh yeah?” you smirk.
“Fuck yeah doll, I don’t think I’ve ever cum as hard. You looked so damn sexy in charge.”
You look away from his eyes, shying at his words, but also they were giving you the confidence to look right back into his eyes and say “I agree” with a smirk.
“I love hearing those high pitched moans you make, It turns me on so much” you admit.
“You know, only you can get those noises out of me, doll” he chides. You blush and smile at him.
He chuckles and you bring his face towards yours and kiss him deeply, tongues meeting together. You both hum into the kiss as his hand rubs down the side of your body.
When you break the kiss, both of you needing a breath, he pulls your body towards him, resting your head on his chest. You hum in peace as he rubs your back.
“I love you so much Y/N” he says and you feel your heart absolutely burst in your chest.
“I love you so much too Buck,” you reply, lifting your head to peck him on the lips before placing your head back on his chest.
You lay in silence for a minute before your mind begins to wander again.
“Did you mean it?” you ask.
“Mean what, doll?”
“That you’ll be mine forever?” you ask. “I mean not just in the sexy way but that you’ll be with me forever?” you ramble out.
“God yes sweetheart, you’re the one for me.” He responds and you didn’t think your heart could explode anymore, but it just did.
You squeeze his shoulder with your hand before coming up to kiss him passionately again, almost crying at all of the love going though you.
“I promise I’m all yours forever too, Buck” you smile at him.
“Good,” he smiles back, and you rest back on his chest, eyes getting droopy.
“Night-night sweetheart.” You feel yourself smile in your sleep.
“Goodnight my love.” You reply, further cuddling into his chest. Bucky feels his heart combust in his chest. God, wasn’t he lucky to have you. He didn’t know what he did to deserve you, but he knew that he was going to assure you that you deserve the world every day for the rest of his life. He kissed the top of your head before falling into a deep sleep, content with his favorite person tight in his arms.
#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes smut#james buchanan barnes#james bucky barnes#dadsbestfriend!bucky#James barnes x reader#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes fluff#bucky barnes imagine#im so soft for them#i am sorry for this but also no im not#the winter soldier#tws#smut#sexy times#dadsbestfriend!bucky au#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes one shot#i wrote half of this in the car lol#sebastian stan#sebastian stan imagine#sebastian stan fluff#sebastian stan x reader#sebastian stan smut#seb stan#sebastian stan x y/n#sebastian stan x you
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hear those bells ring: chapter 3 (a deaf!bakugo x reader fic)
Summary: Bakugo wakes up with his hearing and a bunch of questions.
Pairings: Katsuki Bakugo x Reader; Katsuki Bakugo x You
Rating: M(ature)
Warnings: Blood, descriptions of gore, and adult language.
A/N: Sorry for the wait on ch 3, I had to work over the weekend. Anyway, hope you enjoy!
~*~*~ No spoilers or anything. This is just a self-indulgent AU fic with aged up characters. Everyone’s in their mid-20s. Fic title is from a song called “Achilles Come Down.”
Ao3 Link: Here
Ch 1 Tumblr Link: Here
Ch 2 Tumblr Link: Here
Bakugo woke up confused, disoriented, and pissed off.
He bolted upright, the taste of smoke and ash still on his tongue, but when he whipped his head from side to side, there was no fire, no burning asphalt, no villain, only the empty, dark expanse of his apartment.
But something was still tugging at him, fucking incessantly, and it took him a moment to realize it was his phone alarm.
Red eyes flicked to the device on his bedside table, and even though its continuous siren was like nails on a chalkboard, Bakugo found himself unable to move, unable to stop it.
Because he could hear the alarm. Clearly. Loudly.
He hadn’t been able to hear his phone alarm in weeks, not really. It was nothing more than a muffled tone that petered out toward the end as it rose in pitch and frequency. Thankfully, Bakugo’s internal alarm got him up most days around the sun, but he’d been late to morning patrols a handful of times.
But now…
Numbly, Bakugo finally reached out and tapped his phone. His ears rang slightly in the ensuing silence, but it was barely perceptible, nothing like the perpetual buzzing he’d been living with, like a hive of bees had taken up residence in his head.
The quiet, after so long, was almost… unsettling.
And it was all because of that woman. He was sure of it.
Bakugo pressed his lips into a thin line as he thought about you, the memories of last night flooding back. The blurry image of your face, crouched over him, splattered in a thin mist of red blood and dusted with white plaster. He couldn’t remember much from right after he blasted that villain into the fucking dirt. He remembered the feel of glass breaking around him, and pain, a lot of fucking pain, but then it was black until you appeared. When he’d opened his eyes and met yours, he recalled thinking he should be in more pain, but then you spoke to him and derailed all coherent thought.
Because he’d heard you. Clear as fucking day.
That immediately drew his attention, and so did the blood all over your hands.
There was a lot of it. Way too fucking much for nicking yourself on some glass or whatever bullshit excuse you gave. And Bakugo knew it was bullshit. You weren’t a convincing liar. Well, maybe to some idiot extras you would be, but not to him. He clocked the way you stuttered, the way you fidgeted and averted your eyes. And when you looked at him… fuck, your face was so goddamn guilty.
Why, he had no idea.
But he did know one thing.
You had a healing quirk. There was no other explanation.
Even if he hadn’t just miraculously recovered the hearing that a doctor told him he would never get back, there were a lot of other little discrepancies. His left arm, for one. Bakugo remembered how it felt when the villain’s asphalt wrapped around his limb, the burning, scalding agony of it. But now, the skin was just pink and barely blistered in some places.
Then there was the blood.
When he’d gotten home after ditching the crime scene, Bakugo had immediately beelined for his bathroom to take a shower. But, when he stripped off his hoodie, he realized it was heavier than it should be right before he noticed it was dripping onto his floor. Dripping blood. Without thinking, he’d wrung the hoodie out on the bathroom floor, and a fuck ton of red liquid seeped out of it.
He had immediately dropped the jacket and started scanning his body in the bathroom mirror, but besides the shallow gash on his abdomen, the burned arm, and a few other minor scrapes and bruises, he was uninjured.
But… his back was coated in red, and so were the seat of his dark jeans and boxer briefs. It was almost like… he’d been lying in a pool of blood.
So, you had to be a healer. You just had to be.
Unfortunately, he hadn’t been able to confirm this since the cops had been circling you like vultures. He also hadn’t wanted to be bitched at by any more heroes, or the fucking media, so he made himself scarce.
But he needed to see you again. Needed to hear the truth from your own mouth.
And maybe he could coax you into a deal.
The doctor Bakugo spoke to yesterday obviously hadn’t known what the hell he was talking about. He had made it sound impossible to fix the blond’s ears, and yet you’d somehow done it easily, in the middle of a fucking battlefield.
With that kind of power, Bakugo wouldn’t have to worry about going deaf or designing stupid hearing aids with some company.
With that kind of power, Dynamight would become Japan’s Number One Hero in no time.
But first, he had to find you.
Resolved, Bakugo shoved the covers off and slid out of bed, but before he could make it to his bathroom, someone started knocking on his front door.
No, not knocking. Banging. It sounded like they were trying to break the fucking door down.
“Bakubroooooooo!”
“Gotta be fuckin’ kidding me,” Bakugo grumbled as he padded to his front door. He was only dressed in boxer briefs, but that’s what the idiot got for barging over so early in the damn morning.
The banging persisted, growing louder and more fervent.
“I’m fuckin’ comin!” the blond shouted just before he undid the deadbolt and wrenched open the door.
Eijiro Kirishima, dressed in his Red Riot costume, blinked on the other side of the threshold, his fist still raised to knock.
“What the fuck, bro?” he asked after a moment of just staring at Bakugo.
The blond immediately scowled. “That’s my fuckin’ line. What are you doing breaking down my door at six in the damn morning?”
“Excuse me?” his patrol and agency partner scoffed. “I’m obviously coming to check that you’re not dead since you’ve been MIA for over twenty-four hours.”
“What?” Bakugo frowned. “I saw you yesterday morning for patrol.”
“Noooooo,” Kirishima drawled like Bakugo was a particularly stupid child. “That was two days ago, bro. Then that night, I see you all over the damn news, and no one could get ahold of you all day yesterday. I would have come to check on you sooner, but I’ve been having to play damage control with the media because someone decided to blow up a residential neighborhood.”
“Two days?” Bakugo echoed with a furrowed brow. He’d slept that long?
“Have you been passed out this whole time, dude?” Kirishima groaned as he shouldered his way into the apartment. “I guess that means you got none of our messages?”
“Our?” the blond grumbled as he closed the door and followed the redhead to the kitchen bar.
“Yeah, Denki, Mina, Sero.” Kirishima waved his hand dismissively, marching over to the counter where Bakugo kept the fruit and selecting an apple from the wire basket. “I even asked Izuku to message you, just to see if he’d actually get a rise and response from you.”
“I don’t need stupid Deku knowing about my problems, Shitty Hair,” Bakugo growled before he stomped over to his fridge to see what he had to eat because he was suddenly starving.
“Well, that would imply I know your problems, Oh Great Lord Dynamight,” Kirishima snorted and took a bite of apple. “So, what the fuck happened the other night?”
“I blew up a residential neighborhood,” the blond deadpanned as he turned on his stove, cracking a few eggs into a skillet.
“Yeah, I saw that. I was more wondering about what led up to it.”
“What the fuck do you think led up to it?” Bakugo snapped, rummaging through his cupboard for seasonings. “I was walking home from getting a drink, and a damn villain just popped up in front of me.”
“From what I heard, there were other heroes there, too,” the redhead mumbled around another bite of apple.
“Yeah, fuckin’ useless extras,” Bakugo sneered as he started to whisk his eggs with a pair of chopsticks, throwing in some leftover white rice and a bit of nori. “They obviously weren’t getting anywhere, and the bastard was tearing up the street, so I stepped in.”
“To finish destroying the street?” Kirishima cocked an eyebrow, chewing noisily.
“Fuck off,” the blond said with an eyeroll.
Internally, though, Bakugo knew the redhead was right. He’d been sloppy, careless, probably still borderline drunk. But he’d just been so angry about the doctor’s appointment, his fucked-up ears, his bleak and silent future. He had just wanted to break something, hurt someone, consequences be damned.
Except now the consequences were catching up to him.
Fuck, he didn’t even want to think about what his citizen’s approval rating must be now.
Silence stretched between the two pro heroes for several long minutes, in which Bakugo finished making his breakfast and Kirishima finished gnawing on his apple core. The blond quickly shoveled a few bites of eggs and rice into his mouth, but his scarlet eyes kept flicking over to the redhead.
“How bad?” he finally asked.
Kirishima, to his credit, had learned how to translate Bakugo’s curt grunts years ago.
“Actually, if I’m being honest, it’s not that bad,” he sighed, tossing the apple core in the trash and scratching at the back of his head. “Could be worse. From the reports I read, most of the damage—besides the road—is superficial. Broken windows, charred and peeling paint, a few busted cars that we’re still trying to figure out if our insurance or the city’s will pay for. It also helped that you saved two people. That definitely softened the blow.”
“Two?” Bakugo mumbled around one of his last bites. “I just remember the stupid extra on the street that I shoved out of the way.”
As the memory flashed through his mind, Bakugo frowned. He’d shoved that extra out of the way and got snatched by a giant asphalt hand for his troubles. The blond’s red eyes dropped to his pink and blotchy left arm and then trailed over to his chest. He recalled the sensation of his ribs snapping under pressure, but now only a mild soreness lingered after he took a deep breath. Yet another inconsistency…
“Yeah, two,” Kirishima said and drew Bakugo out of his thoughts. “Do you seriously not even remember your own heroics? And that girl had such nice things to say about you, too.”
“Girl?” Bakugo snapped his head up. “The girl whose… apartment I fell into?”
“Crashed into, dude,” the redhead snorted, but then he narrowed his eyes as a sly smirk tugged at his lips. “But yeah. Sounds like you remember her, huh?”
Bakugo didn’t like the smug look on his friend’s face.
“I remember her fuckin’ yellin’ at me.” The blond scowled. “Like I wrecked her place on purpose and didn’t just save her whole block from a lunatic.”
“I mean, to be fair, if you crashed into my house, bro, I would have yelled at you, too.” Kirishima grinned. “But don’t worry, she’s fine. In fact, when she called the agency yesterday, she asked for you specifically.”
“She did? Why?” Did she want to confess her healing quirk? Fuck, were there side effects Bakugo didn’t know about?
“Bro, seriously.” Kirishima rolled his eyes. “You’re Japan’s Number Two Hero, and you saved her life. And, like Mina keeps telling you, you’re not as ugly when you stop scowling.”
“Shut the fuck up.” Bakugo flipped him off before he went to dump the dishes in the sink.
“Yes, dear.” The redhead smirked. “But, in all seriousness, she called to figure out how to file a claim with our insurance. Or at least that’s what she said, but she also asked how you were doing, and she actually sounded genuinely worried.”
Worried that a random side effect was going to kill him? Or worried that he would say something about her quirk? She’d obviously hidden it for a reason, tried to lie for a reason.
And Bakugo was determined to find out just what that reason was.
“Yeah, well, I’m fine,” he grunted as he rinsed off his plate and put it on the drying rack. “Just a few scrapes and bruises.”
“I can see that,” Kirishima said as he eyed the butterfly stitches stretched across the gash on Bakugo’s abdomen. “Well, I’m glad I didn’t find you dead in a pool of your own blood. That woulda been a real bummer way to start the morning.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Bakugo muttered before he averted his eyes to the living room window across from him. “So… what did you tell her?”
“The girl?”
“No, you’re fuckin’ mom,” the blond scoffed.
“Oh, speaking of moms, you might want to text Mitsuki. I called her last night after you ignored my billionth text, so she’s probably going crazy wondering where you are.” Kirishima grinned and then immediately dodged out of the way as Bakugo hurled a fork at him.
“You bastard!” Bakugo hissed. “Now, I’m going to have to see that hag this weekend or she’s gonna fuckin’ barge over here.”
“Maybe you should turn the ringer up on your phone.” The other hero shrugged, ducking again when Bakugo chucked an apple in his direction.
The blond scowled at his friend, but he didn’t reply.
If you and your quirk were the real deal, Bakugo wouldn’t have to worry about missing a call ever again.
When Kirishima realized the projectiles had stopped, he popped his head over the back of the couch and smirked. “But to answer your previous question, I told the girl we would handle the insurance claim on our end if she sent us her info. And I didn’t really have anything to tell her about you since, like I’ve said, I thought you were dead. Kinda. I was at least thirty percent sure.”
“Have you filed the insurance claim?” Bakugo asked.
“No.” Kirishima shook his head. “She hasn’t sent in the info yet.”
“Well… we should go get it from her.”
This caused the redhead’s eyebrows to shoot up into his hairline, and the surprise on his face quickly made Bakugo backtrack.
“I just… want to get this shitshow over with,” he grumbled as he averted his eyes again, but he could feel a traitorous heat crawling across the bridge of his nose. “The longer her apartment’s all fucked up, the longer the press is gonna rake me over the coals. The hero ranking’s aren’t far off, and I’m not going to lose to Deku again over some stupid broken windows.”
“Righttttt,” Kirishima drawled, but his tone was mocking. “Okay, well, I know the hotel the police have set her up at. After we swing by the agency, we can head that way… to get her insurance info.”
He still sounded unconvinced and like he wanted to needle Bakugo more, but the blond changed the subject quickly.
“Why do we have to go to the agency?” Bakugo asked, and he frowned as he glanced back at his partner. “Even if I lost yesterday, my next scheduled patrol isn’t till tonight.”
“Oh, I know.” Kirishima nodded solemnly. “But Nao wanted to have… a word with you ASAP, if I confirmed you weren’t dead.”
“Fuckkkkkkk,” Bakugo groaned as he dropped his head back. If there was anything Bakugo hated more than the press, it was his actual PR manager. That old hag was good at her job, which meant she was always up Bakugo’s ass about something, and he knew she was going to have a field day with this shitfest.
“Yeah, I’d recommend coffee and preemptive painkillers before we head in,” Kirishima said. “Plus, some putting on clothes. Maybe we can stop on the way and get her something sweet as a bribe.”
“No amount of sugar is gonna make that bitch nice to me,” Bakugo grumbled before he spun on heel and started marching to his bedroom.
“Maybe flowers then?” the redhead shouted after him.
Bakugo slammed the door in response.
~*~*~*~*~*~
“This is fuckin’ ridiculous,” Bakugo growled around his cargo, kicking his foot out at Kirishima. “Why did I listen to you? I’ve had to go shopping twice today now.”
“Come on,” his friend laughed as he dodged the blow, which made the bags in his arms crinkle. “You can’t deny the flowers and cookies sweetened ole’ Nao up.”
“To you,” Bakugo muttered, shifting the package in his arms a bit. “She still yelled at me for fifteen minutes.”
“Well, you kinda deserved i—yow!” Kirishima yelped as Bakugo kicked him squarely in the ass this time. “This isn’t helping your image, bro!”
“No one even knows it’s us,” the blond hissed.
“Yeah, I guess the hoodies and sunglasses help,” the other pro hero mused.
“And the fact that we’re carrying all this stupid shit.”
“It’s not stupid.” Kirishima frowned in that earnest way of his, which made Bakugo roll his eyes. “It’s thoughtful to bring gifts to people who are having a difficult time. Especially when you made that time difficult. You basically kicked her out of her house, dude, not to mention her shop.”
A wave of guilt actually washed through the blond, which he didn’t like. It made his throat feel tight and his stomach churn, and he glanced away from the redhead with a scowl.
“Tch.” He clicked his tongue. “It’s not like we aren’t gonna pay for it.”
The excuse felt flat, even to him.
“Still,” Kirishima said as he shifted the bags in his grip, pulled out his phone, and consulted the map. “It must be stressful. So, we’re going to be nice to her, alright? Which starts with the gifts.”
“And how is a fuckin’ fruit basket supposed to help?” Bakugo asked as he glared around the overflowing mound of crinkling plastic and bright fruit that he held against his chest.
“Uh, one, it’s practical. Her apartment’s all fucked up, the power’s probably still out if not inconsistent on the street, and she’s been living in a hotel for two days, so she probably hasn’t had some nice fresh fruit in a while. And two, it looks nice!”
“We coulda just left this shit at the hotel,” Bakugo grumbled. “She has to go back there eventually, right?”
After old Nao chewed his ass out, Bakugo and Kirishima had gone to the hotel the police said they’d put you up in. Except you weren’t fucking there, and the number you left with Kirishima when you called the agency was going straight to voicemail, so here there were, fucking trekking through the city with a bunch of useless shit.
Bakugo just kept reminding himself it would be worth it when he got the truth about your quirk out of you.
“Nope,” Kirishima said and drew the blond out of his thoughts. “The city only pays the first two days after an emergency, unless the villain caused all the damage, but, uh, that’s not the case here, so we’ll be accommodating her until her apartment gets fixed up.”
“At the agency?” Bakugo asked as his red eyes clicked over to his partner.
As the Number Two and Three Heroes, the two of them had built a solid agency together. Bakugo still didn’t care for a bunch of extras riding on his tailcoats, so they had few sidekicks, all of whom reported to Kirishima and left him the fuck alone for the most part. But they owned a nice, sleek building in a nicer part of town, and one of the floors was dedicated to individual rooms with beds and other amenities. They were usually used when Bakugo, Kirishima, or the other sidekicks wanted to crash after patrol instead of going home—which Bakugo did more often than not—but they’d never had a civilian stay on the premises.
Until now.
“Yessssss, at the agency,” the redhead drawled as a shit-eating smirk crawled across his face. “So, you’ll be seeing a lot of her for the next couple weeks.”
“Wipe that stupid look off your face.” Bakugo scowled and shouldered past the other hero, who snickered as he jogged to catch up.
“Take the next left up ahead.”
“Shut up!” the blond growled, but he followed the instructions.
This was good news, though. Bakugo wouldn’t have to trek to this shitty part of town more than he had to.
And he’d have a healer just down the hall.
They marched along in silence for a few minutes, keeping their heads down, but there wasn’t much foot traffic. Bakugo was lost in his thoughts, planning out the questions he was going to ask you once he could distract Kirishima, but the redhead suddenly stopped in front of him.
“Hey,” Bakugo grunted as the fruit basket crinkled against the other hero’s back. He hadn’t even notice Kiri get in front of him again. “What’s the damn hold up?”
“Holy shit, dude,” Kirishima muttered, staring out at the road he’d just turned onto.
“What?” the blond grumbled, shoving past his friend, but then he stopped, too. “Oh… yeah.”
The street in front of him looked much worse in the bright light of midday. The road was a torn-up mess, more patches of dirt and gravel than actual asphalt. Most of the large-scale debris had been hauled away, but black scorch marks covered the sidewalks in long, dark smears. The walls of several businesses also bore charring along the facades, but most of the damage was focused in the center of the street. A crater nearly six feet deep was carved into the middle of the road, and the buildings on either side were blackened, their broken windows gaping voids.
And then there was the hole in what Bakugo remembered as your second-floor apartment. A tarp hung over the wound, but one of the corners had come undone, flapping in the wind and giving split second glimpses into the darkened room beyond.
Guilt crept up on him again, but Bakugo shoved it down, hunching over the fruit basket and nudging Kirishima.
“Come on,” he muttered before he started moving forward, and a moment later he heard the crunch of boots on gravel as the redhead followed him.
There were more people on this street than on the last several, but Bakugo could immediately tell they weren’t customers just passing through. People swept sidewalks, clearing away the last of the rubble and glass in front of their shops. Then a few old ladies stood under one awning shaking their heads, their hands laden with containers of food or gifts.
Guess Kirishima hadn’t been wrong with this stupid idea.
Then Bakugo realized some of those people were starting to look back at him, so he ducked his head further behind the fruit basket, grateful for his hoodie and sunglasses.
But then suddenly he was there, standing in front of your ruined shop. His red eyes immediately flickered upward, but if there was a sign there before, it was gone now, burnt to ash.
“What kinda shop did you say this was?” the blond asked under his breath as Kirishima paused beside him.
“I’m… not sure,” the redhead said with a furrowed brow. “I don’t think she said on the phone. No time like the present to ask, though.”
Before Bakugo could stop him, Kirishima shifted the bags in his arms, lifted one hand, and knocked on the charred metal frame of the front door.
“Hello?” he called through the broken windows, followed by your name. “Anyone in there?”
“Shit!” The squeaking voice was followed by a crashing sound somewhere in the shadows of the store.
Bakugo didn’t speak a lot of English, but he did know curse words, and the sound of it made his lips twitch in amusement.
“Are you okay?” Kirishima called out. “Can, uh, we come in?”
“Yes, I’m fine!” the voice answered back in flustered Japanese. The words were fluent, though, with barely the hint of an accent. “And, um, I-I guess you can come in, but—”
That was good enough for Bakugo.
The blond shouldered past his partner, boots crunching over glass as he ducked into the darkened shop, and Kirishima sighed as he followed.
The interior, if possible, looked worse than the outside. The room itself wasn’t very big, but it was a mess. Two metal rods had been embedded in the left and right walls at odd angles, obviously caused from the explosions, though Bakugo couldn’t tell what they used to be. Several pieces of blacked mannequins were scattered through the debris, and one wall was a charred mess of shelving and fabric, spots of color peeking through the black ash here and there.
In the back, left corner were the remains of a tri-fold standing mirror, the ones where you could see yourself from different angles. Large shards of glass were missing, though, so the image of Bakugo and Kirishima standing backlit against the street was fractured.
Last but not least, in the rear, right corner of the store was a counter that was half collapsed to the floor, behind which stood an empty doorframe that Bakugo assumed led to the back of the shop and upstairs.
And it was from behind this broken counter that you popped up with a dustpan in one hand and a tiny, handheld broom in the other.
The first thought Bakugo had was your face was rather plain… but in a somehow pleasing way. Like if his eyes had scanned over you in a crowd, something about the line of your jaw, the slope of your nose, the delicate quirk of your mouth would give him pause.
His second thought was that his first one was stupid. You were just some extra, of course you would be plain and unmemorable.
But his third thought was something about the color of your eyes was captivating, in a way that was damn fucking annoying.
“Sorry, I was just… cleaning… up,” you said, slowly trailing off as your eyes met Bakugo’s.
He saw the recognition flare in them immediately, followed by fear, and he couldn’t help the frown that twisted his face.
Why were you afraid of him?
“No, we’re sorry for barging in here like this,” Kirishima barreled on, oblivious to the stare off the other two occupants of the room were engaged in. “Didn’t mean to startle you. Oh! I’m being so rude. My name is Eijiro Kirishima, or you might know me as—”
“Red Riot,” you breathed, finally tearing your eyes from Bakugo’s, and you flashed the redhead a half-smile that trembled along the edges. “We spoke on the phone.”
“Yes.” Kirishima grinned, pointed teeth flashing in the dim light of the shop, before his gaze flickered over to the blond beside him. “And this is—”
“Dynamight,” you finished once again, and you looked like you were trying desperately to maintain eye contact with the hardening hero, but then your eyes clicked back to Bakugo. You didn’t flash him a smile. “We’ve met.”
“Oh, yeah, right,” Kiri chuckled awkwardly, and his arm jerked like he was going to rub the back of his neck, but the bags in his hands crinkled and stopped him.
“What… do you have there?” you asked, frowning at the bags and the fruit basket the heroes were carrying.
“Gifts!” the redhead declared as he hefted his arms up, and then he shuffled forward over charred fabric and glass and extended the bags to you.
You blinked at him for a second, but you set the dustpan and handheld broom on the counter, where they promptly slid to the floor since the whole surface was slanted. You winced at the loud clatter and tried to cover it up by taking the bags from Kirishima, which crinkled loudly again as they transferred hands.
Bakugo would be annoyed if he wasn’t more grateful that he could actually hear the innocuous little noise.
“O-Oh, um, you shouldn’t have, really,” you started as you peeked into the bags, and then Bakugo swore he saw your eyebrow twitch once you saw what was inside.
“It’s not much,” Kirishima said, and he was finally free to rub the back of his head and neck as his smile turned a little sheepish. “But, what with the state of your… apartment, we thought you might need some new clothes! And comfy clothes are the best after stressful days. These especially are super soft, we made sure of it. And, if you don’t like them, you could always sell them for a good chunk of change.”
The redhead winked at you, not in an overly flirty manner, that was just how he was, but your cheeks flared as crimson as his hair, and your eyes dropped to the floor.
Bakugo took the split instant to get a better look at you and noted you were wearing patched, faded jeans, solid boots, and a bleach-stained orange sweatshirt with some English writing he couldn’t read. Usually, he didn’t really see what other people wore because he couldn’t give less of a shit, but somehow he found your obvious cleaning clothes… endearing. The orange looked good on you, too.
Fuck, maybe you didn’t heal him as well as he thought. He had to be hemorrhaging into his brain to be thinking this stupid shit. Or maybe it was a side effect of your quirk?
He needed to get you alone and get answers.
“Well… thank you, this was very thoughtf—oh, wow, that is soft,” you murmured as you partially drew a sweatshirt out of the bag.
Bakugo instantly recognized the forest green and orange color scheme, and apparently so did you, because your face twitched, and you dropped the garment back into the bag and traded it for fuzzy socks with Red Riot’s signature gears stitched into them.
“These will definitely come in handy, my feet are always cold,” you said with an awkward giggle. Then you cleared your throat to cover up the sound. “Thank you, um, Red Riot.”
“You can call me Eijiro, or Kirishima, whatever you’re comfortable with,” the redhead said with another easy grin. “We’re going to be seeing a lot of each other, after all. Oh! We also got you a fruit basket, and I think there might be a few other sweets tucked in there.”
Kirishima nudged Bakugo forward, and your face rippled through a range of emotions, like your brain was taking a second to catch up to everything the pro hero just spewed. First, flustered embarrassment colored your cheeks, then confusion buckled your brow, and your eyes widened before they looked at the fruit basket Bakugo was extending at you.
“Oh, you can just put it down… um…” you trailed off as you turned to the counter and remembered it was half destroyed. Then your eyes jumped around frantically for some kind of flat surface, but the ruined shop didn’t offer any solutions.
“Told ya we shouldn’t of brought this shit,” Bakugo grunted, shooting a scowl at Kirishima.
“Yeahhhhh, we probably could have just delivered it to your room at the agency, my bad,” the redhead laughed. “But don’t worry, we’ll carry it back for you, along with any of your other things.”
“My… things?” you echoed, sounding out the words like a child, and a frown marred your face. “I-I think I must be misunderstanding you, I’m sorry, I’m American. But did you say my room at the agency? As in… your hero agency?”
“You’re American?” Kirishima asked with wide red eyes. “I wouldn’t have even guessed! Your accent is almost perfect, I thought you were maybe just from like the countryside or something.”
“I thought you said we were supposed to be nice to her,” Bakugo snorted at his partner like you weren’t in the room, and he saw you frown at him out of the corner of his eye.
“Oh, shit, no, that wasn’t what I meant!” Japan’s Number Three Hero immediately began waving his hands in front of his face, his mouth moving twice as fast. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude. I really think your accent sounds nice! It’s very cute!”
Now, not only did your cheeks flush again, but the red hue traveled down your throat and across your collarbones, peeking out the stretched collar of your orange sweatshirt.
Bakugo found himself half distracted by the sight, but the other half was wondering why he suddenly felt irritation flare up in his gut.
“Okay, you don’t have to take her out on a date now,” the blond snapped, shifting his burden of fruit and plastic.
“I-I think we might have gotten off track,” you stuttered as you clutched the bag of Dynamight and Red Riot merch to your chest. “You said something about your agency.”
“Yes, right.” Kirishima cleared his throat. “We would have mentioned this in our follow up email after you sent in your insurance info, but—”
“Oh, no, I’m so sorry!” you cut him off with a grimace, and you actually dipped your head and shoulders into a bow. “I meant to send that yesterday, but my laptop is broken, and my cell service isn’t great—”
“No, no, it’s fine!” the redhead interrupted this time. “You obviously have a lot on your plate. I just meant that this might seem kind of sudden, but—”
Fucking hell, this was taking too long.
“You’re staying at our agency until we can pay for the repairs to your apartment and shop,” Bakugo said bluntly. If he didn’t step in, the two of you were just going to stammer circles around each other all day. “Starting tonight. We have rooms with beds and shit, so pack whatever clothes or crap you need.”
Your mouth fell open as you gaped at Bakugo. “I… what?”
“You deaf or something?” The words rocketed from his mouth before he could stop them, before he could even think about what he was saying, and he saw the way the question struck you like a physical blow. You flinched, your cheeks paling, and he saw dawning, guilty horror glint at the back of your eyes.
He’d been right. You did do something to his ears.
“Bro, you were just talking about being nice.” Kirishima frowned at Bakugo before he turned back to you. “Ignore him. We’re really sorry about the inconvenience this whole… incident has caused for you, but we’ll take care of everything you need until your shop’s grand reopening, so you don’t have to worry about a thing, okay?”
You continued to stare at the two heroes in shocked silence, your wide eyes clicking back and forth between the two of them as you clutched the bags to your chest like a lifeline.
“That is… all so generous,” you finally breathed, your tone rising in pitch like you were growing increasingly flustered. “It’s, um, a lot to take in.”
“Of course.” Kirishima nodded fervently. “What else can we do to help?”
“Could you leave?”
Bakugo blinked in surprise and then had to stifle his snort.
“Oh, no, I’m sorry!” you quickly followed up when you saw the redhead’s falling expression. “I didn’t mean… I just meant, could I have some time to process this? Um, alone? L-Like Dynamight said, I need to pack a few things, a-and there are some people I need to speak to before, uh… well, is it okay if I tell someone where I’ll be? Like, at your agency?”
“Yessss?” Kirishima said with a confused frown. “Why wouldn’t that be okay?”
“O-Oh, I just don’t really know how the whole hero and media thing works here,” you quickly lied, and Bakugo clocked the way you averted your eyes, the way your throat bobbed as you swallowed thickly. “I-I wasn’t going to post on social media or anything, I barely use that stuff anyway, but one of my customers, Mrs. Kojima, would be upset if I disappeared without saying anything.”
“Aww, that’s sweet.” The redhead grinned before he glanced at the shadowed ruins around him. “What kind of shop is this by the way? I don’t think you mentioned.”
“A-Alterations,” you said, ducking your face in embarrassment again. “My grandparents were a tailor and seamstress. I inherited this place from them.”
“I thought you said you were American?” Kirishima asked, but not in an accusatory way. He was just too curious for his own good and didn’t possess much of a filter.
Bakugo usually didn’t care for small talk, fucking waste of time if you asked him, but he found himself focusing intently on you, awaiting a response.
“I am.” You nodded. “My parents were both born here, but they moved to the States after they married, and I was born there. After my grandparents passed, my dad was going to sell the shop, but I was looking for something… new, so I decided to move here instead about a year ago.”
Bakugo pursed his lips at this new information. If you had a healing quirk, why were you patching up clothes in some little shop all the way across the world from your surviving family? Could it be because your quirk was dangerous?
“Wow, that’s cool,” Kirishima said with an impressed expression that quickly turned sheepish. “Except about your grandparent’s passing. My condolences.”
“Thank you,” you muttered, a small smile tugging at your lips, but then you quickly shook your head. “I-I’m sorry, didn’t mean to give you my whole life story, I tend to talk when I’m nervous.”
“You don’t have to be nervous,” Red Riot laughed like he did when he was meeting shy little kids on the street, flashing his sharpened teeth jokingly and winking in an overexaggerated fashion. “I promise, we look scarier than we are.”
“Speak for yourself, Shitty Hair,” Bakugo scoffed, which made you jump, like you’d forgotten he was there.
And that rubbed him the wrong way for some reason.
Kirishima merely smirked before he partially covered his mouth with his hand and lowered his voice into a stage whisper directed at you. “All bark, no bite, I’m telling you.”
“Stop making me seem lame, you bastard!” the blond growled, but the effect was kind of ruined by the fruit basket crinkling in his hands again.
This actually seemed to startle a giggle out of you, and the two heroes whipped around, one with a grin and the other a scowl.
“See, you don’t need to be nervous,” Kirishima said before he slung an arm around Bakugo’s shoulders. “But we’ll get out of your hair for now so you can have some time to pack and everything. Don’t worry about picking up too much, though, we’ll have cleaning crews in here before we start the remodel, and we don’t want you to get hurt in here. If there’s stuff up in your apartment that you don’t want to bring with you to the agency but don’t want thrown out, make a list, and we’ll be sure to keep everything safe.”
“O-Okay,” you said, still standing there with the hero merch clenched to your chest and a dumbstruck expression on your face. “T-Thank you again, Red--, erm, Kirishima.”
“Of course!” He grinned. “I have patrol tonight, but we’ll send a car to pick you up—”
“No,” Bakugo cut in as he locked eyes with you. “I’ll pick you up. What time?”
The blond could see Kirishima shoot him a look in his peripherals—probably because they both had patrol tonight—but Bakugo ignored his partner, maintaining eye contact with you.
You, meanwhile, squirmed under the explosive hero’s intense scrutiny, your face paling and flushing in turns. “I… no, you don’t have to do that, I can take the train—”
“I insist,” he interrupted again, narrowing his eyes so you would realize he wasn’t going to back down. “Like Shitty Hair said, we caused this… inconvenience, so I’ll pick you up. What. Time?”
You swallowed thickly, your throat audibly clicking. “S-Seven?”
“I’ll be here at seven sharp,” Bakugo said. “And you better be out front or at least answer your phone this time.”
You better not run, he didn’t say, but by the look on your face, you understood.
“Seven sharp.” You nodded, biting your lip as a resigned expression settled over your features. “Got it.”
“Great. See you then.”
With that, Bakugo turned on heel and crunched his way out of your store, leaving Kirishima stuttering apologies in his wake.
But that didn’t matter.
All that mattered was, tonight, he’d finally get you alone and get to the bottom of your damn quirk.
#bakugo x reader#bakugo x you#bakugo katuski x reader#bakugo katsuki x you#katsuki bakugo x reader#katsuki bakugo x you#bakugo/you#bakugo/reader#bakugo katsuki/reader#bakugo katsuki/you#katsuki bakugo/you#katsuki bakugo/reader#bakugo katsuki#mha#my hero academia#bnha#boku no hero academia#my writings#fanfic#deaf!bakugou
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looking for more rp partners on discord!! would absolutely love another small town mumu (multimuse) or two, extra info about me & what i'm looking for under the cut!
hiya, thanks for clickin!! my name is mo! i'm 28, she/her, and i'm in the PST timezone! i'm exclusively looking for rp partners who are at least 21+ please (but preferably closer to my age)! i write on discord only in a private rp server (with tupperbox!) i'll make for us!! i looove organization and will make us some character & ship categories, as well as a town worldbuilding section, i'll also keep track of things like the in-game calendar and timelines in reference to our threads!! once i get invested in an rp, i'm IN THERE in there
i write all genders, but i only write f/f, m/f, and nb ships! i'm looking for writing partners who are similar in enjoying and wanting to write all genders (and who have equal muse for all their characters regardless of gender) as i'm interested in exploring multiple ships and characters! i am also looking for a partner who likes to write a wide variety of ages, as I enjoy writing characters anywhere between the ages of 20s-50s! i prefer using & being opposite by faceclaims with resources from films & tv (i'm not interested in opposites such as sabrina carpenter, harry styles, madison beer, and the like)
i'd love an rp partner who loves to worldbuild, plot, write headcanons (or do little rp memes), share inspo stuff, and chat ooc! pinterest boards and playlists are a bonus! i really enjoy building a friendship with my rp partners as well as a fun, collaborative writing experience! i would absolutely LOVE to create a small town with a new partner and come up with its location, the names of shops and other places, some NPC names, maybe plot up some town lore & history, ect, and fill it up with a bunch of diverse characters and relationships we can continue to add on to over time! i'm interested in exploring relationships of all kinds, including romantic, platonic, familial, antagonistic, ect! for example, new budding romances, exes on good and/or bad terms, toxic exes or relationships, old high school sweethearts, best friends, friends who fell out or grew apart, close siblings, sibling rivals, and just other fun and/or complicated connections ahoy! i just love multi-muses and being able to write a living, breathing town filled with characters who can all freely interact with each other!
because i'd love a slowly expanding cast of characters (maybe start with 2-3 characters each and go from there?), it's very preferable to me that replies stay on the shorter side, as in one paragraph or less (unless the thread is really plot significant or intense/emotional! ik those can get away for us length-wise LOL) this way we can prioritize quality over quantity, and actually get to see relationships & plots evolve over time in many threads rather than spend weeks or months on a single thread and never actually get to all the good stuff we've plotted. in my experience, it's way more fun to have an evolving mumu where replies take maybe 5-10 minutes to write, and it also allows us to keep the progress of the rp going at a continual pace, which keeps it fun, exciting, and fresh!
i am happy to write smut when the relationship/thread calls for it, and i also enjoy nsfw headcanons alongside sfw ones! i'd say i prefer a 80/20 story to smut ratio. i am also comfortable with most dark or complicated themes, but this will probably be case by case basis. i'm looking for a soap opera inspired town mumu, basically! a good variety mix of drama & intrigue, angst & fluff, smut & sweetness, tragedy & other dark themes, ect, but nothing too intensely or consistently dark or taboo
i'd consider myself to be a pretty active rp partner for the most part (i'm in college plus i work sporadic hours as a private tutor) and when replies are on the shorter side, i can usually do at least one set of replies (if we are writing multiple threads at a time, i personally enjoy writing 2 at a time!) a day, but likely more, and i'm down for rapidfire sessions as well when i can! i prefer my partner to have similar activity (it's difficult for me to stay invested in an rp when it mostly just consists of hcs & shared inspo, and when there is very little actual writing happening), though i don't at ALL want my partner to feel pressured to write replies!! it's just a hobby, not a jobby! things happen & life gets busy! but i really appreciate communication and transparency with rp friends! just lmk what's up and i'll do the same for you! and if you can't do replies for some reason, i'm always happy to just chat ooc or do some inspo chatting or plotting!!
this got so long, if you read all of it ily! if you have any questions or are interested in all this shit by me, please send me an IM!! or if you like or comment on this ad, i'll reach out to you! ty!! if i don't reach out it's because i found something in your guidelines that i don't think is compatible with this plot ad (usually has to do with desired reply length being multi-paragraph/novella, listed low activity, if the blog is heavily smut-centric, or rules state exclusively wanting to write one gender or kind of ship) but if your guidelines are out of date pls feel free to reach out anyway!!
#discord 1x1#1x1#1x1 mumu#still looking! reposting for timezones + a lil more info#as if this massive ad needed any more 😭😭😂
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Hi its me again from the comments😋you said if i wanted a part 2 for 'you want to sleep on the floor' i should put it in your asks i dont know if you write nsfw but could you put some in it the rest is up to you😊btw i love your writing so much the fluff that your write just literally brightens my day and remeber i love you🥺 and you are an awsome person🥰😅
part two: “you want to sleep on the floor”
pairing: katsuki bakugo x female reader
cw: pro hero bakugo, university student y/n, fluff, language and nsfw (protected sex, praise, hella jaw grabbing, nipple play, hickies, bruises, female receiving oral, dacryphilia)
word count: 5400+
a/n: please don’t ask how this became so long lmao and thank you so much bby i’m glad you like it and your an even more amazing person and i love you moree
summary: in which bakugo takes you on that date he promised you and leads your roommate to be the one to hear all the moans and screams
part one
↞ back to my hero academia masterlist
The stress you had gone through all day to find an outfit, even if it had been hours since waking up. Your mind still went back to last night, the kisses against your neck and mouth from Bakugo. You had seen him leave from your apartment when you had been drinking some coffee on the balcony. Even if it had been cold, you didn’t care, leaning against the frosted top as you watched him leave. He had seemed to be in a rush, either going to the gym or he had work. You assumed the latter but even then he seemed agitated himself.
Having finished some uni stuff as soon as you could, you found yourself in front of your wardrobe. Unable to decide on the clothes you had, you found yourself peeking into your roommates room, the smell of sex lingering and the used condom chucked into the bin. “You need help deciding what to wear?”
She hadn’t even looked up at you, exes fixated on her laptop as she continued to type onto Word. “How did you know?”
“I heard the swears.” She muttered to your early fucks and shits at how everything you owned looked horrendous on you. “I have that red dress.”
You already knew what dress she was talking about, the long-sleeved wine-coloured dress that went right up to your mid-thigh. She looked up from the laptop, watching at how you easily wore it in front of her, the square neck holding your chest as you looked gorgeous. “I knew it’d look good on you; I may dislike Bakugo...but just have fun tonight.”
Nodding at her, you gave a swift thanks before walking back to your own room, staring at your blank face. Memories surging of how easily you and Bakugo had confessed to each other, his soft kisses and hands on your body. You could almost feel his fingers skim across your thighs, around your chest and up your neck right to your mouth. You hesitatingly got ready, checking the clock every possible minute, you were anxious to say the least.
What if last night was all just a mistake? What if he didn’t really want you? What if this ‘date’ was him using you? You went against this all, feeling relieved at the sound of the taps to the door. Grabbing your phone and keys you almost ran towards the door but calmed yourself down after your roommate gave a glare to your excitement.
Opening the door softly, you saw Bakugo lean against his own door. The maroon shirt tucked into his jeans as his tall stature finally laid eyes on you. His mouth twitched upwards in a smile, looking at you with such warmth. “You look amazing.”
You could almost feel the roll of your roommate's eyes. Ignoring it as you look down at yourself not meeting his eyes. “Thanks, yo...you look really good too.” You had gotten shy in a matter of seconds, his soft gaze lingering across your body before staying right on your face. How could you not resist his smirk, resist his hand that he had put out for you to take.
“Take it then.” He muttered before feeling your hand against his own, he had a fear that his quirk could activate in a matter of seconds due to his nervousness. You closed the door and felt secluded with his gaze on you, “don’t start getting nervous with me now, I do remember last night.”
You looked at him, almost cowering but he brought you closer to his body, his arm moving to around your shoulder. “I’m not nervous.”
“Sure you aren't, baby, come on our dinner reservation is in 20 minutes.” He started to walk with his arm still around you, keeping you tightly beside him.
“Where are we going?” You questioned through the elevator ride down. He looked down at you leaning against the railing with a smirk.
He mocked, “what? Don’t like surprises?”
You look up to him, almost leaning into his arm more, “I do, but you could take me anywhere.”
“I’m not going to murder you, dumbass.” He chuckled tilting his head backwards, you admired his cockiness and joking manner. “There’s this restaurant, Kiri told me about this morning, I thought you’d like it.”
“Aww did it make you think of me?” You tease out starting to get more comfortable again.
He grabs your waist tighter, bringing his mouth to linger at your ear, “why? Have you been thinking of me?”
“N...no.” It was an obvious lie, and he could see through it so easily. His mouth kissed along the back of your ear down to your jaw as his hand moved from around your shoulders to your neck.
“You were never this shy before.” He whispered continuing to kiss down your neck before the ding of the elevator clicked making you both fall out.
His words were true, you were never this shy, even with one night stands you were able to easily flirt with men to get them into bed. You grabbed his wrist pushing him back into the elevator, “I’m not shy.” You muttered before bringing your lips to his own, he was startled by the action, the girl who had looked at him with anxiety had kissed him with such haste. The way your hands moved to his face bringing him closer to your body.
Your tongue flicked inside his mouth, gliding with his own as your spit and saliva mixed with his own. He had grabbed your hips, having missed the feeling of your lips on his own, he loved how he was able to toy with you. But your nastiness made him even more turned on than anything else. “Dinner.” You spoke as your lips parted away from his, you took his hand waiting for him to lead you away.
“Dinner.” He repeatedly stepped out of the elevator and took you to his car. He couldn’t stop staring at you, the way your body looked so perfect, how he could imagine you under him. He had opened the door for you letting you slide in before taking his own seat. His hand gravitating towards your thigh as if you were a couple who had been on multiple dates before. He didn’t understand it himself, but his hand stayed gripped on yours except when he was changing gears.
You didn’t know why the car ride had been silent, why he’d give you tender looks when there was a red light. You didn't know if it was your fault for kissing him or worst of all he regretted this night and wanted it over and done with. Overthinking was always a strong point of yours and as his arm went to your seat as he reversed into the spot. His jaw clenched you could do nothing but admire him, the concentration he had using one hand to steer backwards. “If you keep staring, I won’t let you out.”
The sexual implication was there, you took a deep breath but let a smirk stay on your face, “what are you going to do?” He cocked his head back again, almost grinning at you, he moved his hand to your jaw again making you look right up at him.
“I’m going to fuck that attitude out of you.” He made you stare right up into his scarlet eyes, the way you had begun to feel so small under him. “1 hour.”
“1 hour for what?” You question, confused.
He moves his head closer to you, it may have been uncomfortable laying on top of the gear stick, but he didn’t care. “1 hour to go inside and eat and then…” he tilted his head as he forced your own head to move, you wanted to close the gap again. Kiss his plump lips, feel his spit and saliva mix with your own, his tongue to suck on your own, he moved closer and closer towards you. “...I’m going to fuck you, okay?”
He made your head nod down before he gave a quick kiss on your lips, you were unable to even go for more. His lips left as soon as they came as he let go of your jaw and stepped out of the car. You stayed in the car, watching him come out and open the door for you, his hand out again for you.
You grabbed it but he let go moving his hands around your waist and almost leaning against your body. His chin rested across your shoulder as he made you look up at the restaurant, “like it?”
You knew what this place was, a new restaurant that had been fully booked until the next year had opened up a couple months ago. The prices were way above a university student's pay and you, and your roommate had looked at the next booking for fun and seen every date with a grey X through it. “How...how did you get a reservation?”
“I have my ways, baby, come on.” He kissed your neck before taking your hand again and moving to the door which looked like it had a waiting area filled with people. You both stepped inside, you knew there were perks of being a pro hero, but this seemed like a much larger perk then you had expected.
Bakugo’s hand stayed on your back as he spoke to the woman, knowing he was in a hurry to take you home. Your legs almost felt weak after his confession, one hour that’s all you both had before he’d give you what you wanted. “55 minutes.” He whispered into your ear as you stayed in front of him waiting with the others, it seemed like the business was easily able to fill the people up for their reservation.
As you leant against Bakugo’s broad chest, his arms fitting around your waist, he relished in the feeling between his arms. He had seen you every day since he had moved into the complex and had been unable to touch you until now. He promised himself to never let you go, you noticed a family of 4, they were probably well off, looking at their designer clothes.
One of the small girls came up to you both, her eyes in awe at an actual pro hero, you almost forgot that Bakugo saved people and protected others. How his whole occupation revolved around protecting civilians and being admired by all. “A...are you Dynamight?” She spoke softly in awe.
Bakugo looked down to meet her childish beady eyes, the way she had had her arms behind her back. But bringing them forward to show her Dynamight plush toy, Bakugo kept one hand on you before bending down and meeting her hands. “I am, what’s your name?” Bakugo knew he had gotten a lot better with kids, even if he still found them irritating as hell, he felt soft knowing this girl had his toy rather than stupid Deku’s.
She uttered her name making him smile as her mother came up to her. “Could she get a picture with you? She loves you.”
Bakugo looked at you almost for approval, he checked his watch knowing how much time you both had, but your voice startled him. “We’ve got enough time, Katsuki.”
His eyes widened hearing his name from your lips, he took a deep breath as he lifted the girl to meet his hip. You moved away from the two as she gave a smile at her mum, you stood beside her with Bakugo only staring at you with love. “Thank you.”
Bakugo placed the girl off his hip before staying bending to her height, “I love you so much and when you fight all the bad guys, mummy says that you’ll always win.” She spoke gleefully before finally gazing up at you, “your girlfriend is pretty, one day, when I grow up, I’m going to marry you, mummy says that you’ll only marry big girls though.”
Her mum's eyes widen at the comment as you give a chuckle going to her height as well, “seems like I’ve got competition, you going to become big and strong right?” The girl nodded at your comment as you smiled at her. Her mum gave a quick apology before leaving, both you and Bakugo had been called to be seated yourself, leaving Bakugo unable to even question what you and the girl had said.
“Competition eh?” He leant forward on the chair, the drinks menu in your hand as you skimmed through the food menu on the table.
You met his gaze as he gave you a tender look, “she’s gonna marry you someday? I gotta keep my guard up now.”
“You were good with her, kids they’re shitty little things.” He grumbles out, watching the waiter come towards the two of you.
You saw what you wanted, looking at how Bakugo stayed fixated on you, “are we getting dessert?”
“You are my dessert, baby.” He licked his lips in anticipation of the later events, your eyes widened at how openly he said it looking down.
“Kids are alright.” You answered his earlier question, ignoring the remark, “my nephew, he likes all types of things so he’s a lot easier to preoccupy than other kids.”
“Oh yeah, what does he like?” Bakugo had asked just as the waiter approached asking for your order, you both quickly said it before you turned back to meet Bakugo’s eyes. His hand had moved across to your own that sat loosely on the table, entangling his fingers with your own.
“Normal stuff, he loves your friend Kirishima a lot as well, I’ll have to tell him that I’ve met him.” You smile out, continuing to explain his likes and dislikes and why he spends time with you.
Your food had arrived in less than 20 minutes and Bakugo knew that soon enough he'd have his own heart's desire. You bound beneath his legs, he watched you eat, how a string of saliva went from your mouth to your fork. He hadn't realised he had been staring at your mouth until he heard his name again. “What did you say?”
“Katsuki.” You whine, “you weren't paying attention.”
“It’s not my fault you look so fucking hot.” The edge of his mouth turning upwards slyly, he took a bite of his food waiting for you to ask the question again.
You roll your eyes before giving a grin back, “I said I saw you this morning, you seemed to be in a rush.”
“Perving on me now, babe? If you wanted to see me you should’ve just asked.” He teased his fingers going back to your own.
“Oh shut it.” You shake your head waiting for an answer.
He remembered this morning, the rush after Kirishima and you had left. “Some stuff came up at work, a stupid villain had destroyed the other side of town and I had got called in.”
“Did you get hurt?” You ask having not seen any signs he was even in a fight.
His grip tightened as he looked at you with pride, “me? Hurt? Come on baby, I’d never get hurt.”
“Hey, I’m allowed to worry aren’t I.” You mutter while taking another bite of your food.
Bakugo didn’t know why the look of worry made him feel so warm, you truly did care about him. He knew that even if he had spoken about fucking you, he’s always let you decide, let you choose when it occurred. He had to protect you, let you live your life with security and peace, and he was going to be the one to give it to you.
“Yeah, you can worry then. I expect every time I fight a villain to have you waiting for me now.” He spoke it jokingly, but he really did want you to be waiting to ask if he was okay, to bring him comfort when he needed it. He wanted you by his side, he had waited too long coming home with nobody there, to miss out on the chance of being with you.
He hadn’t expected your reply, but it made his emotions run wild, “I’ll always be waiting for you, even when we weren’t, whatever this is, I always worried about you. It...It’s stupid, I’d see you on the news and I wouldn’t be able to sleep until I heard you close your door.”
“You..you did?” You looked down not meeting his eyes.
“Yeah, it’s...it was stupi…” Before you could continue his hands went to your face, cupping both of your cheeks to make you face him.
He looked right into your eyes, his normal fiery personality becoming softer and tender. He had no idea what you were doing to him, he knew he would have mocked someone if they had told him something like that. But with you all he felt was love and warmth, feelings that he never knew he was capable of. “It’s not stupid, idiot.”
He stayed fixated on you before continuing to speak, “we need the bill.” He said it to one of the waiters passing by who nodded, Bakugo stayed looking at you, confusion streaming inside his head. “Fuck, I don’t know what to do with you, my y/n.”
He felt the bill get placed down, letting go of your arms as he left you with those words. You had been silent watching as he paid without regard to if you wanted to split it even though you knew you probably couldn't afford even your drink here. Bakugo stood up, moving to you as he grabbed your hand and almost dragged you out of the building.
Bakugo didn't stop to acknowledge the praise he was getting, he had one thing on his mind, and it was you. He opened the car door and put you inside, checking his watch seeing the 5 minutes left of an hour. He opened his own door, taking a seat as he began driving, you were silent again. His words stick to you in ways you didn’t even understand, “I don’t want to do anything you don't want to do.”
It was the first words you heard from the red lights, you met his gaze, your hand moved to touch his own that was on top of the gear. He moved it hastily before putting it under his hand, moving it up with his own hand. For the first time since you had sat in the car he looked at you, waiting for an answer and getting your eyes that were filled with a need, “I want you.”
“You do?” He questioned turning back onto the road, knowing you both were only a couple minutes away from the complex.
“I’ve waited too long for this, I need you Katsuki.” It felt like heaven to his ears, his hand moving to glide up and down your thigh. All he wanted to feel was you beneath him, to show you just how much you meant to him.
His hand squeezed your thigh, feeling your skin tense under his. “You've been thinking of me haven’t you, when you're touching yourself, what do you imagine? Me sucking on your cunt, fingering you, go on baby tell me.”
“Yes.” You stifled out, “I...I think of you, y...your mouth and fingers”
It was an admission, something Bakugo had been craving to hear, you saw the double doors to the underground parking, how his eyes gazed across your frame as he parked again. He needed you, he didn’t care where, but he knew you’d care. Leaving your thigh he moved to open your own door, seeing how you looked beautiful in front of him.
His hand guided you hastily towards the elevator, not knowing what had gotten into the two of you. As soon as the doors shut, his lips crashed into your own, you instinctively jumped onto his body, legs wrapping around his waist as your back was pushed against the back of the elevator.
His lips moved to your neck and jaw, leaving sloppy kisses across it, you could almost feel his saliva on you. The feeling of him on you made your legs clench, the dress had rode up, your ass only covered by his hands as he felt your underwear. “Already wet for me baby.” He muttered into your ear, biting the lobe as he went back to kiss your mouth. His tongue gliding inside as it moved along with your own, the sound of the ding did nothing but make him carry you towards your apartment. He had seen your keys in your hand and thought of an idea that would make you satisfied.
“Wh...what about your place?” You questioned as he unlocked the apartment, your roommate in her room from the sound of an anime intro playing.
He gave a smirk kicking the door shut with his foot as he gave soft kisses down your neck to your exposed chest. He had assumed you’d have been cold in the dress but the way your body had been pushing against him all night. He knew you had been warm with him, “let’s let her hear, payback for last night.”
Even if Bakugo was glad your roommate had been fucking the night before, as it had brought the two of you together. He knew you could get some sort of revenge on her; he grabbed a handful of your ass squeezing it. A loud moan erupting from your lips as he moved you towards what he assumed to be your bed. He almost fell inside, seeing the discarded clothes and makeup, he pushed you onto the bed.
Body on show, as you looked like a mess, his mess. He closed the door behind him, as he rolled his sleeves up letting his veiny arms and hands be on show. He moved towards you like a predator does with its prey, lust filling him. “Can I?” He gestured to your cunt, his fingers on show. You nodded, watching as both his knees stayed on the side of the bed, you moved backwards, leaning against the pillows.
His hands moved the dress upwards, helping you take it off before chucking it to the side. He eyed you up and down as you moved your hands to cover yourself, but his own stopped you. “Don’t you ever fucking cover yourself in front of me, you’re fucking beautiful, I’m going to show you just how gorgeous you are.” He pinned your hands above with one hand before his mouth went to the top of your underwear, dragging it down.
He grabbed it with his other hand pulling your underwear onto the floor before unclipping your bra. Your body was on show for him as he saw just how beautiful you were, “Katsuki, please fuck me.” You begged out.
He looked at you from where your clit was, his tongue gliding across the slick. He heard a loud moan as he looked another lick across your clit. “I’m going to take my time you, okay princess.”
Not waiting for a reply, his tongue delved right into your cunt. He felt greedy for you, his nose hitting your clit as you arched your back. His hands stayed tight across your wrists, he knew how much you wanted to touch his hair, force his face lower. His other hand moved to your hardened nipples, feeling how you gave another loud moan. “Ka...Katsuki faster.”
He listened to your plea, his tongue going further inside your cunt, the taste of slick sliding down his mouth as his tongue lapped quicker inside your mouth. His hand continued to massage your chest before his fingers moved to your mouth feeling the spit and drool on his fingers move towards your nipples in an instant.
“You want to cum on my face.” He groaned going back into your cunt wanting to taste your cum.
“Let me cum, please, da...daddy, please let me cum.” Bakugo hadn't realised just how turned on a word could make him, his hands moving away from your wrist and nipple as he grabbed your thighs. Leaving bruises as your hands pushed his face further into your cunt, he didn't care if you crushed his head with your thighs he needed your cum.
He heard continuous moans and groans coming from your mouth, “oh...oh God, pleas...faster, daddy, I c...cum.” You could almost feel yourself coil up as every lick and action from his tongue made your stomach grow wild needing a release. In one haste lick down your clit and into your cunt, white liquid gushed right onto his face and mouth. He swallowed it before looking up at how your chest heaved in front of him.
He grabbed your legs dragging your cunt right up to his jeans, the bulge evident through his jeans as he grabbed your wrists making you look at him. “Was that what you dreamed me doing? Do you want more princess? Go on, tell daddy what you want?”
“Fuc...fuck me daddy.” You were restless but wanted him inside of you, wanted to cum on his cock. He moved down, fully clothed as he kissed your mouth, you could taste yourself on him. The way you cum stayed lingering, white liquid around his mouth, he almost wore the dampness as a mark of honour that he had gotten you to cum.
He moved away from your mouth, undoing his shirt as you stayed on the bed, you heard him unbuckle his jeans, eyes widening at the more prominent bulge. “Like what you see.” He spoke cockily, as he stripped himself, his hand moving to pump his cock up and down.
You saw how the tip was a blushed pink, a vein travelling along its side as it turned upwards every time Bakugo’s hands moved up and down. He kneeled in front of you, your cunt right in his view, you saw as he leant towards his jeans which held his wallet, finding a condom as it stayed in his hands. “Let me.” You spoke hesitantly, it was a surprise that you had even offered. You took the condom, ripping the top as you made sure to cautiously not damage it before your hand moved to his cock.
You had sat upright, cum still dripping down your cunt as your hand moved up and down his erect cock before sliding the condom down it. He gave a groan before grabbing your hands and moving you back onto the bed. “You gonna let daddy fuck you now.” You nodded eagerly, your clit feeling swollen, but you didn't care.
He brought your cunt right up to his cock, the way his tip gliding against the slick and cum of your clit. “Fuck, pl...please, I need you inside of me.” You moaned loudly, feeling him continue to toy with you, your legs stayed spread beside his body as he almost enjoyed hearing you beg.
He brought one hand to your mouth, making you taste the precum that had come from his cock, just as you moaned at the taste he slammed into your cunt, “you’re so tight baby.” It was groan as he heard your loud moan come out as well. One hand squeezed your side, grabbing a hold of your body to allow himself to stay in you before thrusting.
As soon as he moved out and back inside, you knew you had met your match. The sheer size and length had been enough to make you melt, but now hear you were, tears streaming down your eyes as he watched with a sadistic smile. “Keep crying, you’re taking me...so well.” His other hand moved to your clit, rubbing circles around it, making your legs turn even more weaker.
“Katsuki.” You whined loudly as his thumb pressed against your clit, his cock gliding back and forth inside of you. You felt the salty tears stream down into your mouth and neck, mascara blackening it to make you look like an entire mess.
Bakugo had been enjoying it all, the wall you laid sprawled out, tears formed, your lack of words and mumbles instead, the sounds of groans and moans, lewd thoughts that escaped your lips. It had all filled the room and your roommate was getting an earful of banging against the wall and wild sounds coming from your room.
“Such a good girl, taking daddy well aren’t you.”
“Y...yes da...daddy.” You continued to be a moaning mess, Bakugo moving his body into your arched self, he felt your chest against his own as he kept at it, hands moving away from your clit and side.
One hand had met your own as your fingers entangled together, your other hand in his hair as he kept on thrusting inside of you. His other hand on the side of your head keeps his body upright to continue thrusting inside of you. You felt his lips leave kisses down your neck and chest before watching how your eyes rolled to the back of your head in a moan.
He kissed you again, teeth against teeth as he sucked at your tongue as you stuck it out for his lips to taste you on. You could feel yourself coil up inside, cum ready to seep out for a second time tonight as he continued to thrust in and out of your wet core. The sound of skin hitting skin erupting through the moan filled room. “You gonna cum for me, fuck… baby, go on cum on my cock.”
It was an order, something you were going to do. His hand tightened around your fingers, feeling how one sign on entanglement was so intimate as his pace quickened. He heard you scream his name as you reached your high, cum gushing onto his cock as he kept at the pace, the cum making it even easier for him to get further into you. He felt himself gain his own high, groaning in your ear as he heard your heavy breath.
Your hands pressed in his damp blond hair as he finally felt himself cum, he slowly came out of you. Condom filled with his own white gush as he fell beside you, he quickly took the condom off, tying it as he chucked it into the bin. He saw how sore and bruised you looked, the blue and greens on your thighs, the purples across your neck and chest.
You looked a mess, but he couldn't help but fall for you even more, cum dripped from you. A lingering smell as you both stayed quietly, the only sound being the heavy breathes from you both. Until you turned to meet his face against one of your pillows, his hands moved to your shoulders, letting your body fall onto his own. “Next time, let’s skip the condom.” You really just wanted to feel him properly inside of you, feel him fill you up until you felt like a stuffed whore.
“Next time yeah?” He grimaced looking down at your tired body.
“Oh shut it, I expect another date before we fuck again.” You muttered back.
His hands moved into your hair, playing with the sweaty strands in his fingers. “Always so needy, is my cock not enough for you baby.”
“No it isn’t.” You signed loudly.
“Yeah, yeah, I’ll be taking you on a lot more dates baby.” It was more of a promise than anything else making you smile as you laid on his chest.
You felt his hand wrap even tighter across your bare body, the sound of your clock ticking beside him, “I never thought that you saying, ‘you want to sleep on the floor’ would lead me to actually getting you.” He muttered.
“What? You would’ve kept pining for me?” You chuckle your eyes feeling heavy.
He watched how every time you blinked your eyes stayed closed for a lot longer. Already knowing you’d be out in a matter of seconds, “yeah I would’ve, I was an idiot for never asking you out all those months ago.”
He spoke the last part in a mumble as you hummed a response before falling asleep in his arms. He kissed the top of your head, even if he had fucked you and had the best sex he’d ever had. He promised himself to always show you just how much you meant to him, this wasn't going to be fuck buddies or friends with benefits. Bakugo realised he would settle for nothing else then one day calling you his forever.
go back to part one
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How about birthday prompts (Like how they celebrate your birthday and how you celebrate theirs)?
Warning: NSFW-ish themes (Riz and Bill’s part),
All Characters are adults, around mid-20s here. So basically a couple years after college. Except for Gouhin, Oguma, and Gosha who are their canon ages.
Reader is Gender Neutral
Louis:
Your Birthday:
- Mr. MoneyBags here is going to go all out as far as expenses go.
- Fancy Dinner at an elegant restaurant, picks you up in his ridiculous sports car which you’ve rode in a million times but it’s still exciting. (Also, Louis drives extremely fast. He’s a good driver but if he’s not going at least 30 miles over the speed limit, he feels like he might as well be parked in the street. Also has a bad habit of running red lights and stop signs just because he can.)
- Buys you a brand new outfit just to wear to dinner and has it delivered to you in the morning in a red velvet box with a silk bow. You’re a little uncomfortable with the whole high society scene but you go along with it anyway for Louis’ sake.
- At dinner, he orders for you. He has a bad habit of doing that, even though you’ve told him multiple times you’re capable of making your own decisions. At least he usually orders you something you end up liking.
- Night concludes back at his place, he pulls out another velvet box similar to one from this morning except this box is much smaller which only meant one thing: jewelry.
- “Louis... Are there diamonds in this?”
- “....”
-“Louis...”
-“.... Maybe...”
- You refuse to accept the overly expensive gift, refuse to even look at it. You give it back to him and you could see he’s a little hurt but you assure him you know he means well but everything was just a little too much and you felt out of place.
- He accepts your criticism gracefully even if he is a little frustrated you wouldn’t accept his gift he spent so much time picking out. He promises to tone it down next year.
His Birthday:
- You actually really hate Louis’ birthday because he almost never spends it with you.
- He always works on his birthday, not seeing it as important enough to halt business.
- You’ve tried everything from bribing his assistant to haggling his bodyguards but nobody can get Louis out of his office in his birthday.
- You’ve learned to let it go, and usually surprise him by doing something special the week before.
Legoshi:
Your Birthday:
- All about being sweet. Values time and effort over anything and hopes that you see it that way too.
- Makes you breakfast in bed, he’s a pretty good cook all things considering (it’s a skill he picked up while being a waiter.)
- Takes you out for lunch, the two of you spend the day doing pretty regular couple stuff but you’re just happy to be there with him.
- Your present is something that’s both useful and to your taste, like along the lines of a sweater or cardigan in your favorite color. He makes sure it’s oversized because he knows how much you love to wear his sweaters and he even has your name embroidered in small cursive letters above the heart.
- You love your gift and how the two of you spent the day.
His Birthday:
- You two spend it almost identically, just with he roles reversed.
-Legoshi is still a little uncomfortable with extra attention so if you want to incorporate his friends into anything then you’ll have to be really stealthy about it.
- No surprise parties please, he literally would melt into the floor with embarrassment. Best to take him somewhere and his friends slowly join in organically (or at least, you hoped it came off as organic but it really didn’t)
- “Hey Legoshi, fancy seeing you two here at this restaurant in this reserved section. Mind if I join ya?” By the tenth time that exact excuse was used, the cat was well out of the bag.
- Legoshi appreciates your efforts though, even if he’s not one for attention. He sort of clings to you the entire night, whether it be holding your hand, gripping your thigh, encircling your waist, etc. as long as he’s touching you, he feels calmer and it helps tone down his anxiety.
- Overall, Legoshi’s the type to be fine with almost any birthday celebration (or even none at all) as long as he can be with you.
Juno:
Your Birthday:
- Makes you do something spontaneous for once, even if you’re hesitant.
- Takes you somewhere like Skydiving, or Paragliding, or Bungee Jumping. If you’re adamant about making it to your next birthday not risking your life then she will settle for something a little more mild like Scuba Diving.
- Can not stop gushing about how hot you look in your wetsuit and flusters you in front of the Scuba instructor (he’s an older Walrus and finds it cute to see young animals in love).
- The two of you end up having a blast and you’re happy you went along with Juno’s plan, even if it tired you out completely.
- Once the two of you get home and shower, you collapse onto the bed and fall asleep almost immediately, the exhaustion from the deep diving really taking it’s toll.
- Juno enters the bedroom holding a cake with lit candles and wearing brand new sexy lingerie she purchased just for you to rip off of her. She’s a little disappointed to find you unconscious but she figures it is your birthday and you can sleep if you want to.
- She blows out the candles for you and puts the cake in the kitchen, then she throws on a robe and snuggles up next your slumbering figure.
Her Birthday:
- She wants to travel for her birthday and she can’t think of anyone she’d rather take a trip with more than you.
- You two go somewhere hot and tropical, probably somewhere near a beach (she loves any excuse to wear a bikini and sunbathe)
- You two probably find a bar near the beach and get drunk, her moreso then you because you start to sober up as the night goes on so you’re able to take care of her.
- You take her back to the hotel and tuck her in after helping her get ready for bed. She a giggling, flirty drunk mess the entire time but it still makes your heart soar because you know she had fun.
- Before she falls asleep, she whispers to you that this was her favorite birthday yet.
Riz:
Your Birthday:
- He’s waking you up with morning head, no way around it. You wake up to him kissing your neck, then your collarbone, down your stomach and he just keeps going down until he has you whimpering and falling apart beneath him.
- Then the two of you take a shower together and he’s making you cum for him in a totally different way.
- But once you finally pry his humongous paws off of you, you think you’ll be able to relax but he has other plans.
- He sends you off to the Spa. He’s not going in with you because he wouldn’t be caught dead in one but buys you the best top of the line experience . You enjoy the peace and relaxation but you’re kind of lonely and just want to be with him.
- When you get home, he presents your gift to you which is probably something big and wooden that he made himself because he’s great with his hands and actually an amazing craftsman. Probably something like a intricate Wooden Gazebo outside so you could sit and enjoy your garden.
- “Riz, how the hell did you get this back here without me knowing?” You ask, your arms still wrapped around his neck from where you squealed in excitement, lavishing him with kisses.
- “Built it off site, just needed a few hours to install it,” Riz winked, cupping your ass with both hands and lifting you up so your legs could wrap around his waist.
- “So that’s why you made me spend my birthday alone?” You pouted.
- “Yeah, m’sorry about that, baby. But I can make it up to you...” Riz growled, carrying you inside to the bedroom.
“Wait, I wasn’t done looking at my gift,” you giggled as he began nipping at the fur at the base of your neck.
“Trust me, it’s not going anywhere,”
His Birthday:
- Riz loves nature and outside in general. So for his birthday you plan a camping trip deep in the forest.
- You don’t tell him anything about it, you just make him request two days off of work, no questions asked.
- You two leave early in the morning, drive deep into the forest and then you spring it on him. You also let him know that if he doesn’t like the idea, theres still time to turn back and spend his birthday in the city.
- Not a chance if that happening though, this man LOVES the outdoors. He’s already halfway out the car before you could even put it in park.
- The two of you have a blast setting up the tent, making the campfire, cooking dinner over said campfire, and communing with nature.
- “There’s a river that runs north of here, it’s about a 15 minute walk from here, I figured we could go fishing there tomorrow morning,” You tell him as you sit in his lap, admiring the fire.
- However, the two of you don’t make it there until we’ll into the afternoon and it was a miracle you made it there at all. Riz had fucked you senseless last night, the atmosphere of nature giving him a newfound surge of energy. It’s a good thing no one was around because the two of you were almost embarrassingly loud.
- Anyways, Riz thoroughly enjoys his weekend of wilderness and fucking you like a wild animal all throughout the forest. You enjoy it as well despite the fact he has you almost limping by the end of the trip.
Bill:
Your Birthday:
- Honestly, he forgets. If you wait on him to remember or ‘surprise you’, then you’ll only end up ruining your own birthday.
- If you remind him on the day of, he takes you out to eat at a nice restaurant but it’s still very last minute.
- If you remind him the day before, he’ll at least get you a gift but it’s last minute.
- Overall, if you want to actually enjoy your birthday with him, you better plan it yourself
His Birthday:
- Plans an entire house party himself and invites everyone, it seems, but you. He wasn’t exactly aiming to exclude you, he just thought it’d be a given that you would be there. However, if you didn’t show up, he wouldn’t really notice either way.
- It’s wild and crazy. A ridiculously huge amount of people show up and there’s alcohol coming from every direction, and Bill is soaking up every ounce of the attention.
- Once you finally had enough of being ignored, you go home. You doubt that Bill will even notice you’ve left.
- You’re at home, showered, and about to head to bed when your phone starts ringing. It’s an unknown number so you let it ring out. But then they call back again, and again, and again. Disturbed, you accept it on the fourth call just in case it’s an emergency.
- “Finally they picked up! Y/N? You there?” It was one of Bill’s friends. Apparently in his drunken state, he went into a rage when he couldn’t find you and had been crying for you to come back for almost an hour. He was inconsolable and his friends knew there was only a matter of time before he started a fight at his own party. You were irritated but you still allowed them to drop him off at your place.
- The second you answered your front door, the giant tiger in question was all over you, squeezing you right and asking why you left him. You helped him inside and laid him in your bed.
- He cuddled with you for maybe 10 minutes tops before he was out like a light. You end up falling asleep next to him, finally enjoying a little peace for once tonight.
- That peace doesn’t last long though, Bill wakes up the next morning horny. Like extremely horny. You wake up to him grinding against your thighs, whimpering and begging to let him fuck you. You give in to the belated birthday boy and he proceeds to give you the sloppiest, most sensual, earth-shattering morning strokes of your life. You’re so mind blown by how good he fucked you, you forget about how angry you were with him.
- After a well needed shower, he takes you out for breakfast to apologize for how much of an ass he was on his birthday. You accept but tell him if he ever pulls something like that again, he can look for a new lover.
Collot:
Your Birthday:
- Surprisingly wants to spoil you on your birthday but unlike Riz, he actually minds being apart from you (he’s hella clingy, he just hates to admit it) so whatever activities he has planned, the two of you are doing it together.
- Takes you to a fancy resort, somewhere in the mountains where it’s cold and there’s snow on the ground even during the summer months.
- The two of you attempt skiing but you’re terrible at it and he ends up laughing at you falling majority of it.
- You two also enjoy the giant jacuzzi the lounge has to offer but Collot can not keep his hands off of you and eventually you two have to run back to your room for a midday quickie.
- His birthday gift to you is something simple, like a necklace with your birthstone in it. You love it and allow him to put it on you.
- The rest of the evening, it’s just you and your man, walking along the Snow filled grounds, sipping warm apple cider, and enjoying the break from the rest of the world.
Gouhin:
His Birthday:
- This man wants REST. No need to go all out, his life is crazy enough the other 365 days of the year. Just give him some peace and relaxation and he’s good to go.
- He also loves your cooking and wouldn’t be opposed to you cooking him a huge meal.
- Also loves your body and wouldn’t be opposed to you doing that thing that he really likes in bed ;)
- Your gift to him would be something he can use but also is a little unnecessary. Something like a ridiculously fancy, golden calligraphy pen for his office or a brand new crossbow with genuine leather straps. He’s pretty hard to shop for so it’s always best to go with something he already has, just a newer model.
- Honestly just wants to spend his birthday with his baby (you) as if it’s any other day.
Gosha:
Your Birthday:
- Gosha is so lovable, he’s probably more excited it’s your birthday than you are.
- He’s picked up quite a few skills over the years and baking is one of them. Bakes you a giant birthday cake in your favorite flavor. You’re grateful he was so thoughtful and made such an extravagant cake but there’s no way you’re going to finish this entire thing.
- You end up inviting over friends just to get rid of some of the cake, which they’re more than happy to do since it’s absolutely delicious.
- A few of your friends bring group dishes and fancy wine and soon it’s a whole party underway. The small gathering is actually a blast and you can’t think of a better way to spend your birthday other than surrounded by the people you love.
Oguma:
Your Birthday:
- Mr. Moneybags 2.0
- Gets you a crazy expensive gift like a brand new car and calls it a day.
- Not really much for spending time or celebrating traditionally. But to compensate, he’ll buy you the world (even after you’ve repeatedly told him you don’t need all that.)
- Probably won’t even see you on your birthday because his schedule is so overbooked but sends you plenty of gifts to remind you that he loves you.
- It stings not seeing him on your birthday but at this point in the relationship, you don’t really expect anything else from him.
#beastars#beastars louis#beastars louis x reader#louis x reader#louis#Legoshi#Legoshi x reader#beastars legoshi#Juno#Juno x reader#Beastars Juno#Riz#beastars riz#beastars riz x reader#bill#bill x reader#beastars bill#Gouhin#beastars gouhin#Gouhin x reader#collot#collot x reader#beastars gosha#beastars collot#gosha x reader#Oguma#oguma x reader#gosha#anime#manga
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Chain of Events
word count: 2500
pairing: andy barber x female reader
warnings: cheating, age gap, some profanity.
request: can i request a andy barber x fem!reader where the reader is his asisstant and his secret mistress (in mid 20s) which she always stick by his side and help him through jacob's trail. after the trail he divorced w laurie and they got marry and have a baby girl please!! thank you!!
a/n: sorry for the wait! i hope you enjoy lovely! ngl this really fueled my love for andy. 
please excuse any mistakes!
It wasn’t something you were proud of. Something that had started off as a night with a few innocent drinks paved the way for a never ending cycle. At times you felt dirty and awful, yet that didn’t stop you from going to see him every other night. Even when you had the slightest feeling that Laurie had a hunch, it didn’t stop you. Especially when things got dark for Andy, you were the one to hold him close and not his wife. It felt so right although extremely wrong all at the same time.
༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺
Currently, you were sitting in your apartment bed, spending your Friday night a bit differently than most. Rain gushed from the sky and rhythmically hit your bedroom window which you were spaced out on, many thoughts running through your mind and a glass of wine occasionally hitting your lips. Using your free hand you softly ran your fingers through the mop of hair that belonged to Andy who was passed out in your lap. His breathing was even and it did your heart good to see him so peaceful for once. Just two hours ago, he called you, sounding so broken and vulnerable which was out of the ordinary for Andy. The minute you answered the door, he flung himself at you and held you tight, whispering repeatedly “don’t leave me, please.”
It absolutely tore you to pieces to hear him say that and you were quick to reassure him that it wasn’t even possible. You then lead him to the bedroom to ask what had happened.
“Is everything alright? Talk to me, Andy.” You placed a set of his pajamas into his hands but not without a pleading look in your eyes when meeting his own sullen ones.
“Laurie’s adamant it’s him, but (y/n)-” Placing a finger on his lips, you hushed him.
“I know, I know. You just have to ignore it okay? Laurie is just,” Pausing, you chose your next words wisely, “having a hard time with it all. Everyone copes differently.”
He sadly nodded before standing to kiss your forehead and make his way to the bathroom to get changed and cleaned up a bit.
The two of you continued to chat about Jacob’s trial once Andy returned from the bathroom, and he confided in you in many ways more than one. You’d never seen Andy so open, even with yourself, and clearly it helped him quite a bit as he was now relaxed.
Time had flown and amongst your thoughts, one stood out to you in particular. When would Laurie start to question where he was? Andy always had some bullshit excuse ready to give her and would then tell you that it would be alright. Normally, before you had time to truly convince yourself, Andy’s lips would be on yours or his hands would caress you gently and you’d melt into him as did your cares. Except for now.
The two had just gotten into a huge fight and you were sure Andy hadn’t even thought twice about telling her where he was going. Even if he did, Laurie would surely be on the lookout for his return.
Carefully reaching over to your nightstand, you grabbed your phone to check the time and noticed that it was getting late.
“Andy? My love, when do you have to go home?” You leaned down to whisper to the sleeping man who groaned in return.
You repeated his name once more, this time slightly shaking his shoulder to which he rolled onto his back, a goofy grin on his lips as he looked up at you. “Well hello, honey.”
From Andy’s point of view, you peered down at him like a disappointed mother but with a faint smile upon her lips at her child’s goofiness.
“Nice of you to join me, sleeping beauty. I was wondering what time you had to get home. It’s starting to rain more heavily and Laurie-”
Andy sat up and turned himself so he’d be sitting shoulder to shoulder with you. Silently, he took your empty wine glass from your hand, leaning to place it on your nightstand. As he did so, he didn’t let go of your wrist, which he brought to his lips when he returned to face you.
Murmuring against your wrist, he started to place soft and delicate kisses to the smooth skin there. “Don’t worry about it. I told her I’d be back tomorrow morning.”
“But Andy, she knows you don’t have anywhere to stay.” You didn’t want to exactly say “Hey! Andy, you have no friends and your wife knows that!” but it was implied in a kinder way. Andy picked up on this, clearly deflecting when he just nodded in response and started to place more kisses up your forearm.
Letting out a frustrated “hmph,” you let Andy carry on before he victoriously smiled at you.
༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺
The vicious cycle went on throughout the course of Jacob’s trial as things between Andy and his wife got worse. Even though they both lived under the same roof, slept in the same bed, and put on a facade for Jacob, they were practically separated. One night Andy drunkenly showed up on your doorstep, confessing how he had come home to find Laurie with another man. In a fit of rage he let the cat out of the bag that he had been seeing you. Funny how things work.
You knew they were both wrong, so instead of shaming either one of them, you just let Andy cling to you for comfort. When Andy was drunk, he was like a big child and if the circumstances were different, you’d been laughing, but rather you soothingly rubbed his back and listened as that’s all he needed. Someone who would just listen.
At three in the morning, he most definitely needed you as well when you found his head in the bowl of the toilet and not sleepily nestled in your neck. (Which was ironic as the two of you would be switching places very soon.)
Christmas came quick and along with it, many miracles, one being that Jacob was not convicted.
Just as Andy was in a rush to tell you the news, Laurie was even faster to serve the divorce papers to him. In a relationship, you and your partner are supposed to be able to push through tough times without breaking. With that being said, Andy and Laurie mutually agreed that they had failed and it was time they both quit lying to themselves. It was time for real happiness.
༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺
“(y/n) meet me at our favorite restaurant in thirty minutes.”
You were working on some case files for Neil, despite your hatred for him, and tried to tell Andy that you were busy at the moment. He didn’t listen but continued to insist that you meet him there. His tone wasn’t demanding, but it was...excited? Surely, Andy had been excited over things in his life, but you’d never actually heard the usually emotionless man speak with such ardor.
Setting down the case files, you rushed to put on some real pants and a blouse, but nothing too fancy or flashy as you had no idea what was about to happen.
When you arrived at the restaurant, Andy happily flagged you over. He wore the biggest smile ever and you were borderline concerned. What could have him this happy? Was he getting back with Laurie? As much as you wanted them to be a functioning family, you weren’t sure if you could deal with such heartbreak because Andy really did feel like the one.
Ever the gentleman, Andy pulled out your chair and handed you a small bouquet as you sat in the wooden seat. Before he walked away, the man planted a smack of a kiss on your lips and hurried back to his seat since he saw the waiter out of the corner of his eye. As the waiter approached, you were just sitting there, the most shocked expression on your face as it settled within you what Andy had just done. Long ago when this whole fiasco began, you and Andy always kept it professional when out in public because so many people knew him and word could get out easily that he was cheating.
The minute the waiter left, you were quick to chastise Andy who just laughed as if it were the funniest thing in the world which left you a bit angered.
Since the restaurant was quiet, you extended yourself across the table so Andy could hear your harsh muttering.
“Do you realize what you just did, Barber?!” Andy shook his head in a content manner and at this point steam was about to emerge from your ears. Before all hell could break loose and you go ballistic, Andy cut in to explain.
“Jacob, he’s a free man!” Andy looked at you with an awaiting smile and your face immediately softened, but for only a second as that didn’t explain why he was parading your relationship out like this. Didn’t he know what he was risking, not only for himself, but you.
Your counterpart noticed the sudden change of expression on your face and continued, “But among other things, I meant to tell you that Laurie and I got divorced recently.”
“Oh hon, I am so sorry.” Reaching across the table, you comfortingly ran your thumb over the back of his hand, but he just shook his head in detest.
“No no, it’s not a bad thing because it just opened the gateway for this,” Andy pulled his hand away and went to dig in his coat pocket. You thought to yourself, no he couldn’t be-
“(y/n), I’m gonna make this short, but sweet. You mean the world to me and I could spend all night listing off why I love you, but that will never do justice, so instead, I ask that you make me the happiest man alive, and marry me?”
His cliche, yet utterly adorable speech could make a person’s heart melt and instantly say yes, but you’ve always been a thinker, and maybe Andy had accounted for that a bit in his proposal.
“Andrew! You just got divorced!” In a semi-whisper slash hiss, you bent over so only he could hear, hiding your words from the prying onlookers as if you had top secret info spilling from your lips.
“I know, but, (y/n), you are the one.” He looked a bit awkward being on his knee for so long and the ring box still patiently in hand as you processed his question. Nonetheless, Andy continued to hopefully smile at you, ignoring all of the whispers, until you excitedly replied “yes” just a mere second later, though it felt like ages for him.
This proposal was definitely gonna be a story for generations.
༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺
You and Andy settled for a simple courthouse wedding with just your parents in attendance as witnesses. The two of you were never really used to flaunting your relationship, and even though you could now, it just wasn’t ideal. Besides, you had bigger things to worry about.
For example, when just a few weeks after your short-lived honeymoon, you noticed some changes and came to the conclusion that you were pregnant.
One night, you casually brought up the idea of more kids to Andy to test the waters.
“Hey love, you awake?”
Andy lifted his eyes from his book, no longer looking as if he was asleep. He nodded his head and set the book aside giving you his full attention.
“What’s up, gorgeous?”
“I was thinking… what if we were to have a kid. Would you be opposed to that?”
The reaction on Andy’s face was most definitely not the one in mind and he looked as if you had asked him the most appalling question on earth.
“(y/n), I love kids,” He chuckled a bit, “I thought I made that clear, you know, by being a dad and all.”
His lame attempt at making a “joke” eased your nerves and you just came straightforward with the gold.
“Andy, I think I am pregnant.”
And faster than a predator can pounce, Andy was on you in seconds, his arms hugging you close as he whispered words of excitement.
༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺
Nine months later and that statement was very true as you held a bundle of joy in your arms. Your hours numb in pain couldn't even be compared to the gift that was before you. Andy could hardly keep his hands off your stomach for the past few months and he never failed to speak to your daughter as if she was actually there. Now that her presence was finally in the world, Andy was yet to look away from her small figure and his smile hadn’t withered the slightest.
The nurse had stepped out a few minutes ago, giving both you and Andy some time and privacy with your newborn. Even though drowsiness overcame your body, you visibly forced yourself awake just to absorb all the time you could with her. Little ones grow up in a flash and you weren't going to miss a second if it was up to you.
Andy joined you in the hospital bed when you silently invited him in with a soft pat to the crinkly sheets. Once he snuggled up against your side, you carefully passed the little baby who was about to have her first contact with her father.
As Andy played with her mini hands, you sleepily rested your head on his broad shoulder, watching the two and already figuring out that they’d be lifelong friends.
“They always say with age comes wiseness, but darlin’, your momma gives that phrase a run for its money.”
You giggled at your husband’s words and propped up the little darling the smallest bit so she could “see” you and her dad.
“Don’t listen to Daddy, munchkin. The grey in his beard says otherwise.”
“Hey! I’m not that old, I was still able to knock-” Backhanding Andy’s leg caused him to dramatically cut his sentence short. There were plenty of years for him to taint your daughter’s innocence.
As you observed the two, you noticed Andy gazed at her as if she hung the moon and stars for him, a familiar look he often gave you. Possibly from the lack of energy or just being enamored with the interaction, a sweet tear slipped from your own eye. Upon closer inspection, one could see that a subtle tear fell from the man beside you.
If Andrew Stephen Barber had known all those years ago he’d be here with a second chance at life, he would’ve never even waited another second to be with you. It’s funny how life can send you down the most twisted paths, yet have you come out with the most precious of gifts.
taglist: @memissbee @tricereads @buckybarnesthehotshot @bval-1 @tonystankschild @just-one-ordinary-fangirl @turtoix @kelbabyblue @jakiki94 @aubreeskailynn @calirindo @lady-elena-adeline @siriuslyslyslytherin @sushiinmidnight @patzammit @iwik3it
a/n: what did you guys think? it feels like ages since i’ve written anything, and I am sure you can tell haha
if you are new here, check out my masterlist at the top of my blog for more Andy Barber (and Chris Evans characters) writing. I’d link it but tumblr always tag blocks me :(
#andy barber#andy barber x reader#andy barber x y/n#andy barber x you#andy barber imagine#andy barber one shot#andy barber fanfiction#andy barber x female reader#andy barber x assistant reader#andy barber x wife reader#chris evans fanfiction#chris evans characters
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what is and what should never be [bucky barnes]
A/n: ok, so. Im really fucking insecure about this. I literally poured my heart into this fic. I'm genuinely unhappy with the beginning, but I promise you, it gets better!! I don't have it in me to rewrite it for the 4th time. I really hope you'll still like it though. If you ask me, this is the best fic idea I even had. Please, please, if you enjoyed it, let me know!!!
Summary: It was you and Bucky. An unlikely couple that shared equally disturbed pasts. When you get a day off, your paradise turns into hell as Bucky's nightmares return, leaving you alone to deal with The Winter Soldier. (FLUFF, SMUT, ANGST) 12k
Warnings: 2 smut scenes - they're graphic but not extreme, fluff, angst, violence, mentions of death and suicide, blood, a fight scene - also quite graphic but it was written to serve the angst. I don't want to spoil the ending, but if you really connect with the characters, you will not hate me!!
This day had been long awaited. After months of back to back missions and endless efforts to climb up the greasy pole of US social standards, words failed to describe how ecstatic you were to know, that for the next 24 hours, your whole schedule would fully be in your hands.
You had the freedom to do just about anything you wanted, and the simple fact that the rest of the avengers left to deal with some paperwork excited you to no end. You woke up when it was time for them to take off, and made a snarky remark about heading to the gym - something along the lines of having a productive day centered on self development.
Just about 20 minutes later, you and Bucky, now also alone in the Stark Tower, decided to start off your day on the right foot. He offered to make protein smoothies as you changed into something comfortable and fitting for a workout, but neither of you got their job done.
You had no idea how that happened, but before you knew it you were wearing your sports bra and still had your pajama pants on, moaning on the counter of Tony's kitchen as Bucky had lodged himself between your legs, hungrily exploring the heated skin of your neck, peppering you with bruise marks that represented his adoration for you. "You heal fast anyway" he shrugged, pulling you closer and digging his teeth into your flesh, sucking profusely and eliciting an erotic moan from your lips.
With every new hickey he left, another one would disappear, which in turn would make him even more frustrated, “The hell should I do? Tattoo hickeys on you!?” he groaned, moving up your neck. You caught his cheeks into your palms and kissed him back, smiling as he kept getting more and more aggravated.
It didn't come as a surprise when the blender went berserk, splattering fruit pulp, almond milk and protein powder all over the pristine walls of the room - both of you have long forgotten about it.
The way Bucky cleaned the mess was the epitome of not giving a shit, and you couldn't find it more endearing. He bitched and whined his way through the whole process, and tears formed at the corners of your eyes at the ridiculousness of the half assed job he just did.
You eventually reached the gym - of course, against all your pouting and begging to put off this session. "Doll, you're the only avenger who can't fight. A punk on the street could snap your purse and there would be nothing you can do"
Wrong, he was not. You couldn't fight - but at the same time that didn't mean you were defenceless. It was your immense power that for months on end made your teammates consider you a liability. The energy that surged through your veins had been too great for you to handle, and in fact, it still was, but now, thanks to the joined efforts of Tony and Bruce, there was a way for that power to be contained. Their solution came in the form of two massive shackles wrapped around the length of your forearms. They were made of dimeritium and kept all kinds of energy from leaving your body. But, even so, that energy was in full form, buzzing inside every fiber of your being. And so, while wearing them you couldn't attack anyone, but there wasn't a way for them to harm you either. That field of energy protected you from every kind of damage and wounds you had ever encountered, ranging from fist fights to automatic rifles to guided grenades.
"I'm the only one that doesn't need to know" you huffed and puffed, annoyed but still determined to get this first training session done with.
But that never happened. Halfway through your warm up rounds, your teasing side awoke and it took you about ten minutes to go from batting your eyelashes and flaunting your ass, to nonchalantly cupping his cock into your hand.
No one could blame Bucky for not even trying to stop you. Bless him, he did everything he could, but he was never able to resist you. And probably never will be.
By the time you were done at the gym, both your bodies were coated in lecherous layers of sweat, no of them being from actually working out. It was only a matter of time until you managed to break his self control and he had you sprawled on all fours in the middle of the boxing ring, moaning your soul out as he pounded your pussy.
The momentum made your whole frame rock back and forth, your hair falling around your face, "Holy fuck-"
The room vibrated with the vulgar slaps he afflicted on your bare ass. You arched your back and cried his name out loud, "Come on, Bucky- I- harder please-"
"How are you already so needy?" he chuckled, caging your waist between his strong arms and pulling you up until your back reached his chest. "I ate this pussy this morning before we got out of bed"
"You know I love your tongue-" you giggled out of breath as you tried to look at him over your shoulder. "But it doesn't compare to your cock"
"What does?" Bucky rhetorically questioned before picking up his pace. He kept slamming his hips into yours, fucking you at full force as with each thrust, his cock rammed against your walls hard enough to make you see stars.
"I'm really fucking close, Buck" you whined, feeling your knees start to refuse to maintain your weight any longer.
"Don't cum yet" he panted, "Wait for me"
"Fuck, fuck, fuck-" you cried out loud, liquid pleasure seeping out of you in the form of fresh tears streaming down your cheeks. "Please-" you whined, "I can't hold it anymore, I'm-"
"Not yet, baby" Bucky groaned, easily stopping you from wiggling around in his hold. His thrusts became sloppy and the orgasm got the best of him. He buried his face deep in your shoulder as his high forced guttural moans to rip from his throat.
As he filled you up with his cum, as much as you wanted to comment about him making you wait and then not even bothering to tell you you could cum, you couldn't. Your eyes rolled back in pleasure and your chest heaved as the spiral of bliss seemed to go on and on, tons of ecstasy propagating in long painful waves across your body.
"Fuck-" Bucky panted as helped you up, "I could get used to days like this. We should retire"
"I'm not retiring-" you teasingly shook your head, "not until you find a way to give me a baby"
"I'd give you all the babies" he retorted, tugging your hand.
It caused you to lose your balance and stumble into his chest, "I love you"
"Love you" Bucky kissed the top of your head and spun you around. With his palms on your hips, he started guiding you towards the door, "Let's get you cleaned up"
And then, another wave of unproductivity followed. You showered, ordered pizza, whined about how there was still some smoothie left on the floor, and after you warned him about it, your face fell as Bucky stepped directly in the middle of the puddle of almond milk. He was fuming, the incident wiped any traces of happiness off his face. He mumbled something about that being the last pair of comfy socks he had left and something about Tony's devices being a constant pain in the ass.
He went on and on until you ambushed him with kisses up his neck and shoved your hands under his shirt. In an instant his bickering turned into soft giggles as he innocently relaxed under your touch. You eventually cleaned up the mess and tried to make yourself busy. Nothing worked, you weren't in the mood for anything and at the same time, even though you did absolutely nothing all day, you felt a wave of tiredness envelop you.
At about 4pm, and you Bucky had already been lazily laying in bed, a mess of tangled limbs under the fluffy duvet. Your conversation started from the tactical gear he swore would look better on you than on him and then wondered how you didn't know how to sow.
"I'll hit you" you threatened.
"I'm sorry" he laughed, holding onto your forearm as it was resting on his chest, "But you know how much I love it when you get angry at my misogynistic jokes"
"It's rude" you scoffed - you didn't mean his jokes, but the fact that when he grew up, women were not anywhere near where they are today.
"You know I don't mean it"
"I know you don't" you laughed, "Otherwise I'd have actually hit you"
"Don’t worry" Bucky said, "I'd hit myself if I was that stupid"
"Cute" you smiled, kissing his shoulder. Looking up at him, you promoted your chin against his chest, "Do you miss it? The 40s i mean"
He thought about it for a second. "Nah" there was a bit of nostalgia in his tone, but you believed him. "I've kinda made my peace with the fact that everyone from my old life is gone. I wouldn't want to go back now. I got you. I got all of you guys. I'm good now, really good"
"I'm glad" you beamed, feeling yourself warm up from the inside just thinking of the progress he made. After a few seconds, you spoke up again, "But what about the society? Like the day to day life? How do you like the 2010s?"
"I can't lie" Bucky laughed, "I liked Romania better. Much simpler."
"You lived in a dead beat apartment, hiding everyday" you scoffed, "How was that better?"
"I don't know… maybe it was the simple life. Apparently I'm all about that"
"You'd move back there?"
"If you came with me?" he questioned, looking down at you. There was genuine sincerity in his eyes and a hint of a smile at the corner of his lips. "Wouldn’t even think twice"
"Maybe one day" you sighed with content. You snuggled back against his side, and closed your eyes. "We're not done avenging yet" you mumbled.
He didn't say anything to that. You didn't know whether he was getting lost in thoughts or if he was starting to drift off, but you would have been fine with either. When he spoke up again, you didn't expect the conversation to take this route.
"About Romania…" he sighed, "What made you come with Steve back in 2016?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean-" he muttered, rubbing his light stubble, "I know why Steve came-" Bucky chuckled, "And Sam's all up his ass, so there's that. But what about you?"
"I-"
"I'm aware of the rift I caused between you guys back then. So that's why I'm asking. What made you stand by Steve from the beginning?"
"I knew how much you meant to him. And I know how this is going to sound, but I felt sorry for you, Buck. I know what it's like to be alone, to have everyone turn against you. You deserved better"
"Love-?" he called softly, his voice nearly breaking. "What do you mean you know what it's like to have everyone turn against you?"
As you maintained the eye contact, you felt tears prickle, "I know it wasn't fair of me to keep my past a secret, but-"
"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to-" he said softly, his eyes warm. The pain was readable on his features, he hated how your whole demeanour changed.
"It's not that I don't want you to know, it's just that I hate talking about it. Gives me nightmares."
"Then we can just drop it" Bucky murmured, gathering you closer.
"I wish you could know without me telling you" you laughed, "You make everything better and easier. I should've told you, I know. It isn't fair to you. We've been together for almost two years but as far as you're concerned I didn't exist until I joined the avengers. I don't even know how much they know. We never talked about it"
"Love, listen to me. I'm here whenever you want to talk about it. You didn't do anything wrong. There are a lot of things about me that you don't know either. We're not those people anymore. No one can blame us for trying to escape out past"
"Yeah, you're right" you sighed.
Gathering your power, you pushed yourself up and settled beside him, with your legs crossed. You grabbed his hand pulling it into your lap, and intertwined your fingers with his as you spoke.
"Forget the official story, there's no truth to it anyway"
"I really didn't believe your mum was a criminal and that you were in a mental asylum" he joked.
"Good-" you smiled, his words lifting the atmosphere a bit. "Truth is, I don't know anything about my parents. But I have my assumptions. I grew up in that soviet facility so I never met them. I was told it was owned by a group of socialite scientists who wanted our help"
"Our? Who's we?"
"There were 7 of us"
"Did they have the same power as you?"
"Approximately. When we were younger, we used to comply and do everything we were told but as we grew up, things started to change. We weren't happy. Who could be? Considering we were being held in cells and studied like lab rats. We started to act differently and some might even say we tried to rebel, but that didn't work obviously, and that's when the restrictions began. For the last 3 years I spent there, there hadn't been a day where the temperature passed 0°C."
Your skin crawled as you recaled the endless nights you spent shivering your way to sleep. Everything around you was ice cold. But it wasn't for the sole purpose of torturing you. It was your only weakness. As the temperature dropped, so did the movement of the atoms that made up your body - eliminating your powers to the point where you were barely alive.
"One day, as spring came, we wanted to break out. We made a plan, and figured that as soon as we were out, we'd be fine. We were wrong. We were off about the weather and they got us before we even exited the perimeter. That's when the avengers heard about us."
By now, Bucky's eyes were wide with genuine curiosity, his mouth agape as he took in the information you provided. With every word you spoke his grip tightened around your fingers and his eyebrows gathered even further. There was discomfort and anger in his features, but he didn't interrupt you once.
"After that, the restrictions got tougher. We realised there was no way out. A lot of things came together in that small time frame. I realised what that place actually was days after we tried to escape. My friends - or that's what I thought they were, figured out another plan. Why fight when you can just eliminate the premise?"
Bucky moved his lips but no words came out. He cleaned his throat and sat up a bit, "What- what do you mean?"
"They tried to kill me" you said, plastering a sympathetic smile on your lips, hoping it would make it easier for him to hear.
"What the fuck. Why?"
"I think my dad used to be part of that team. And I think he made me the way I am. Now I don't know why he wasn't around anymore, but that team wasn't trying to get us to do anything. They were trying to make more of me. So if I was dead-"
"There would be no reason to keep the other kids…" Bucky finished the sentence for you.
You nodded.
"And what happened?"
You bowed your head trying to find a way to put your words together. Bucky didn't rush you, just reassuringly rubbed his thumb across your knuckles, waiting. When a tear from your cheek slipped and landed on the back of his hand, you looked up and took a deep breath. "I killed them. All of them."
He didn't say anything. Didn’t move a muscle, as he waited for you to continue.
"I didn't even want to do that, Buck" you sobbed, breaking down. "I killed over 20 people because I was afraid. I didn't even move. I was in the corner of my room the whole time, but everyone who approached me was fried to death. I don't even know how I did that. I was just scared"
"Oh, baby" Bucky cooed, pushing himself up to wrap his arms around you. You fell against his chest, crumbling in his embrace. "I hope you know that was not your fault, ok?" he asked, rubbing your back. "You were just a kid, alone and afraid. It breaks my fucking heart, those bastards. Please don't feel sorry for them"
"I feel sorry for the other kids"
"They tried to kill you, Y/n" Bucky countered, "If you hadn't killed them, I would've gone after them. All of them"
"They were desperate..."
"So were you!"
"I can't help but feel like a monster sometimes, you know? Like I'm reckless and out of control. There are times when I'm all happy and excited about what tomorrow would bring, and then i remember what I did, and I have a hard time fighting away the thoughts that try to tell me I don't deserve that"
"What you deserve is the fucking world ok?" Bucky said, tilting your chin so you could see just how serious he was. "This past couple of years, you saved hundreds of lives and I know for a fact you did it out of the pure kindness of your heart, not because you wanted to make up for anything in the past. You're a fucking angel. You're the embodiment of good, you hear me? I know you. You'll never understand how much respect I have for you, and how in awe I am with the kind of person you are. Please, don't ever think less of yourself. Ever, ok?"
Tears rolled down your cheeks as his words proved to be much more than you were able to hear at that moment. "Thanks, Buck. That's sweet of you to say-"
"It's not sweet of me to say, it's the fucking truth" he scoffed, but he somehow managed to make it sound loving. "You didn't even fucking try, but just being around you made me feel like a person again. You're amazing, Y/n. We're all lucky to have you. I'm lucky to have you."
"You're gonna make me cry" you sniffled, curling yourself into a ball against his chest, "I know you were in a dark place when we met. I'm glad I managed to help you through it"
"You pulled me through it" he sighed, tightening his hold around you. "I went from wanting to die, to thinking that I didn't even deserve the easy way out. Look at me now."
"Buck, stop"
"I love you so fucking much" Bucky laughed.
His whole frame shook as he pulled you back down, safely holding you between his arms, "You're amazing" he added, kissing the top of your head, "Perfect"
"I said, stop" you chuckled, slapping his side, "I get it, you like me, can we-"
"I adore you" Bucky cut you off after grabbing the sides of your face between his palms. "And thanks for trusting me. I know it wasn't easy for you to talk about your past, so thank you. I'm always here for you. If there's anything ever, I got you, ok? Forever"
"I got you too" you added, kissing his cheek and then moving along his jawline, "No matter what happens, you'll always have me on your side. I'm all yours, Bucky"
"Yeah, you are, doll. All mine"
After that talk, how you managed to fall into a deep sleep will always remain a mystery. Nightmares didn't make their way into your mind, and you settled for a dreamless slumber, actually fully content for the first time in a long while.
But not everybody processed grief the same way. And if Bucky mentioned earlier that he was lucky to have you, as you were pulled out of your sleep, you realised that he wasn't as lucky as you were when it came to the mysteries that creep up on you when you least expect them.
-
"Wake up sunshine"
The sound reached your ears, but it wasn't Bucky's voice, so you just groaned in response and rolled over to the other side, completely pressing your face into the pillow.
"Buttercup, it's time to wake up"
The voice seemed uneasy, as if the person speaking was actually terrified. You opened your eyes wearily, and were met with the usual, complete darkness of your room.
"Come on, Y/n" they spoke again. You turned to see one of Tony's maintenance robots hovering above your body, one small screen lit up on its front. Blinking a few times to rid yourself of the sleep still lingering in your eyes, you managed to make out the faces of Tony and Steve, both staring at you.
"What's going on?" you mumbled.
"You've got incoming," Tony announced, and then shook his head at whatever someone next to him had said. The microphone wasn't performant enough for you to hear what the other person said, but it was not like you cared.
"Incoming what?" you questioned, still confused out of your mind.
He turned his attention back to you, "The asshole"
You frowned and Steve scoffed, "Y/n, it's Bucky. He's not well"
"Wh-" you mumbled, your head snapping to the side, only then realising his side of the bed was empty. You shuffled your arm around the sheets, still warm. "What- what happened?"
"He's gone rogue, Y/n" Steve announced, genuine worry and guilt audible in his voice, "You need to make sure he doesn't leave. You need to stop him"
Tony's workstation. You needed to get the shackles off your arms if you wanted to stand a chance, "Tony? How do I take these off?" you asked, pointing to your cuffs.
"Already taken care off" he nodded, "Get to my desk, it's unlocked. All you need to do is actually get there. If you can"
"If I can-?" you began asking, but a loud explosion sound cut you off, causing the bed to shake as a wind blew through your room. "What the fuck!?"
"He may have found the grenade launchers" Tony smiled bitterly.
"Y/n," Steve called for you, "Please, be careful. And call us. Me and Nat will take the jet but I don't know-"
"Don't worry" you shook your head, jumping off the bed and rushing to your closet. You chose the first clothes you saw laying before your eyes and put them on, ready to go look for Bucky. "I got this, I promise"
"Oh, and Y/n?" Tony said, making you turn to him at the last minute, "Try not to fry my tower"
You nodded and refrained from making any promises you didn't know you could keep.
As soon as you walked out the door, the sound of automatic rifles going off became deafening. Stepping over piles of broken glass, you made your way to the emergency staircase, heading to Tony's lab. You did so with maximal caution, knowing that if you were spotted, there would be no going back.
Descending the last remaining flight of stairs until his work station, a rush of adrenaline surged through you, knowing just how close you were. Silently rounding the corner, your eyes landed on Bucky's frame, easily holding one of the remaining SHIELD agents up by the neck.
He turned to look at you, eyes cold and empty. Not even rage. There was nothing there. No expression, no empathy, no feeling. It was as if he was dead. This wasn't him.
"Buck-" you panted, raising your hands up in the air, signaling surrender. You eyed Tony's desk, determined to stall him until you managed to free yourself of the cuffs.
You took a cautious step to the side, hands still up in the air. Bucky watched you as the man struggled against his hold, legs spasming uncontrollably as he kicked and squirmed, even though it was so clearly in vain.
"Don’t mind me-" you smiled, sweat flooding your pores as you slowly approached your destination. "I'll just-"
"You'll just what-?" Bucky groaned, flinging his victim with impeccable ease. The agent's body flew across the room, crushing into the only device that had the power to help you get through this. As the work station crumpled under his weight, so did your hopes of getting out of this.
"Bucky, hey-" you mumbled, afraid of pissing him off, "I-"
"Who the hell is Bucky?" he frowned, starting to march towards you. Your blood ran cold, knowing you didn't have what it took to keep up with him. You were never able to dodge anyone's blows, let alone his. When he reached you, his hand instantly reached around your neck, lifting you off the floor, "SHIELD?" he asked after taking a look at your attire. Although not carrying the emblem, it was probably the only explanation that made sense to him.
"Well, um-" you huffed, holding onto his wrist in hopes of not running out air, "No, not SHIELD"
"Then who are you?" he growled, tightening his hold on your windpipe.
"Fuck-" you gasped, kicking your legs, even through he didn't even flinch when you hit him. "You're not gonna believe this but, um-"
"Try me"
You looked into his eyes, hoping it would serve as some kind of a memento, that maybe he'd remember you. "You know me, Buck. It's Y/n, I'm- your girlfriend?"
Even saying it made you feel weird. This killing machine, apparently hell bent on wrecking havoc, was not the man you loved, and you cringed just imagining his reaction to hearing your words.
And it did turn out to be worse than expected, as he spun around, doing a complete 180° with your body before slamming you down on the floor. The wood cracked under your bones, knocking the wind out of you. The pain of the impact was excruciating, propagating along your body in waves of some physical agony you had never felt before. The sound of your bones cracking made you sick to your stomach. Your ears caught the sound of your arteries being torn as your organs collapsed.
And if you felt every inch of your body being shattered and destroyed, it was God's way of making you pay for your parent's mistakes, as when your wounds healed mere seconds later, the pain did not go away. Your nerve receptors still registered damage to the tissues, and no matter whether you were actually as good as new, your brain couldn't process that.
What consumed you the most was the fact that as you struggled to stand up, the pain of broken limbs lingered on. But you fought through it, gathered yourself and stood up, facing him again.
You winced with every muscle contraction, but eventually your eyes met his. He showed curiosity, along with something else. Something else which you wished wasn't determination to finish you.
"Can we-" you whimpered, extending a hand, "Can we talk?"
"Talk!?" Bucky raged, grabbing your wrist and twisting your arm to the point where he spun you around, your back pressing against his chest. "Not here to talk" he growled into your ear.
The hairs on your body stood as you heard his voice. Even though it was technically the same voice you loved more than anything in the world, it made you now shiver with a fear you've never experienced before.
You didn't get a chance to sink too deep in your thoughts before Bucky raised your arm, dislocating your shoulder and busting your humerus into pieces. The pain cut your legs at the knees and you screamed in agony, falling to the floor at his feet.
"Stand up" he commanded, slamming his foot into your side. The momentum made your body roll away, until you settled back on the ground, face deep in the rubble. Your muscles pulled you to your feet with ease, but the pain coursing through you was immense, nowhere near close to what you thought bearable. You felt the skin being ripped from your body and when you looked down, your clothes were torn, soaked in blood, but your skin was intact. It was what you needed to keep going - to get inside your head the fact that you were fine, because at this point, the pain was one bruise away from making you faint.
"Bucky, please-" you cried.
"Stop calling me Bucky!" he yelled, starting to approach you again.
With every step he took, you slowly backed away. "Please, listen to me, just a second, please!"
He shook his head no, a demented smile on his lips as he closed in on you.
"Bucky-"
As a reply to your question, his fist flew up, slamming into your jaw, hard enough to throw you to the ground, "Why do you keep calling me-"
"What else do you want me to call you, huh?" you yelled at him, vision blurred under too many layers of tears. "Tell me, and I'll do it if it'll get you to listen to me."
"I don't want you to call me anything-" he cocked his head to the side, unstrapping a handgun from his thigh. He loaded it as you barely managed to crawl away, "You can take the pain. I respect that. Let's see how well you do with these lead bullets"
You saw them in slow motion, barely managing to duck your head behind the remains of what once was a heavy wooden bookshelf. The bullets missed your chest and face, but you saw them, felt them penetrate your skin, ripping through your muscles.
The sound of your tissues being pulled to shreds made you feel sick to your stomach. As the bullets left your body, your wounds closed back up, leaving you a crying mess on the floor. Your throat constricted due to the wave of shock that hit your body, and your lungs started hyperventilating. Lightheaded and gasping for air, you struggled to crawl away from him, tears marching down your face and ending up on the floor, nothing but diluting the droplets of blood that had fallen from your body mere minutes before. Your heart was in overdrive and your vision blurred as every fiber of your being threatened to let you down. "Please-" you screamed, your voice breaking as you raised your hand for him, "Let's talk, please. That's all I want. Give me a minute"
But he didn't. He didn't even consider it. Instead, the force that controlled the body of the only man that ever managed to make you feel safe, tortured, destroyed and consumed your body for what felt like the better part of an eternity.
You had been thrown through walls, shattered windows, had glass shards lodged into your body from all angles. He unloaded cannon after cannon on you, used up all the ammo he had on him, only growing more and more annoyed when you refused to give up.
There was no way to know how much time had passed. Now you were standing by the window, inches away from the spot where two nights ago, you and Bucky clicked your glasses, smiling at how far you both had come. He laughed, saying he wouldn't have made it without you. And then he kissed you, confessing that the thought that maybe you couldn't have made it without him either, was what kept him going.
And then there you were. 48 hours later, again, just the two of you. But now there weren't any champagne glasses between you, just his metal arm, wrapped around your neck, this time, as he said, for the last time.
"I don't get it-" he scowled, teeth gritted and frustration in his voice, "Why don't you fight me?"
"I can't fight you" you whimpered as your tears poured down against his cold hand, "And even if I could, I wouldn't."
"WHY?" Bucky screamed, and for a second, you thought you saw a crack there, a glister of emotion hidden deep in his otherwise beautiful eyes.
"Because I love you" you cried.
But there was none. He rolled his eyes and pushed you back, your body slamming into the window. You should've thought faster, been more witty and considerate, but terror washed over you and in the heat of the moment, you grabbed onto him for dear life, pulling him down with you, plummeting to the ground from what looked like the 70th floor of the Stark Tower.
If until now you had been afraid of what you'd have to endure, it was now that you met true terror. You'd survive the fall, but he wouldn't.
Even in the air, approaching the ground at a dangerous speed, he kept fighting you. Even in this state, you admired his determination - he had a job and wanted to get it done - even if that job was killing you. A man of his word.
By now, the pain was unnoticeable. If you wanted to keep him alive you had to act fast. Clinging to his body despite his vicious protests and ruthless blows, you used your momentum to turn the two of you around. And you did so at the last second, as before you knew it, your bodies crashed into the boulevard below, sinking down into the asphalt as it crumpled under your weight.
The impact cut your breath away and there was a gnawing feeling all over your body, as if you had blades under your skin, pulling your body apart fiber by fiber. But you snapped out of it.
"Bucky!" you yelled, slapping his cheek.
He had fallen completely on top of you, his head pressed against your chest. He didn't move and the continuous buzz in your ears made it physically impossible for you to tell whether he was breathing for not.
"Bucky, please-" you cried, trying to move him so you could see his face.
Nothing.
"No, no, no!!" you screamed, "You can't die, baby, please! Not like this, love. Please come back to me, Buck, I'm begging you!!"
You remained there and wailed, with him glued to your chest. Your arms had wrapped around his motionless frame, keeping him as close as you could. Nothing could have gotten you to stop. Tens of people gathered around the crater your fall created around your bodies, police showed up, cameras were pointed at your faces, but you didn't care. If he died, so would you.
"You're all I have, baby-" you muttered, voice hoarse and dry from all the wailing and crying, "Please, you can't leave me. This can't be the end of us. Please, I don't know what to do, Bucky, please!"
You were soaked. In blood, and you didn't even know whether it was his or yours. God, how you hoped it all belonged to you, how the pool of blood you laid in was all yours. Tears soaked your face, pouring down your temples as your whole frame shook with your sobs, that was the true agony. You'd rather spend the rest of your days fighting for your life if it meant he got to see the sun again. You wished he'd hate you, rather than not feel anything at all ever again.
"Please-" you said again but this time your voice didn't even reach your own ears, you didn't hold that power anymore, "Please, you need to come back! You deserve so much better than this. You're the best man I have even known, you can't die like this, not today, Bucky. Not today!"
By now, the people around you had scattered. They knew your identities and for all the wrong reasons, feared you both. You were grateful for that now, you were alone with him again, as the sun began to set and a chilly New York night began to settle.
Still, you didn't move. You still had faith. Or you were just stubborn. There was no way you'd pull away until someone either pried him off of you against your will, or someone that you trusted showed up promising they'd help.
None of them came, and you remained there, cradling his frame to your chest begging whatever God was listening, to bring him back. You didn't know if one of them heard you, or if it was just blind luck or fate, but you only realised his metal arm was lodged under your body when he moved it.
"Buck!" you cried, cupping his cheeks in your bloodied palms as literal life cursed through your veins. "Oh god, you're ok, you're alive!! You came back to me!"
You managed to hug him close one more time, before he pushed himself off of you. In the process of standing up, his eyes met yours for the briefest second. Again, nothing.
He gathered himself to his feet, wordlessly bending down to grab your hair. He forced you up and you instantly obliged, following him back into the building.
Once inside, he knocked you through a glass door, your body once again absorbing his fury. The pain had dissipated into a dull ache, and this time, you stood up faster. "I can do this all day" you sighed, the lie slipping past your lips with such ease, as if the energy inside your core wasn't running dangerously low.
"What did you just say?" he questioned.
He seemed taken aback, "I said that I can do this all day"
"Who are you?" Bucky yelled, marching towards you, determined to get answers out of you through nothing else but brute force. He slammed you back onto the floor, only to straddle your thighs and pick you up by the collar of your shit. "Why won't you just fucking die!?"
Circling your fingers around his wrists, you searched for his eyes, "Wanna know what keeps me alive?"
"Are you stupid enough to tell me?"
"I might be" you shook your head, "but I'll still tell you"
"Why?"
"Because I know you won't kill me" you cried, "I know you know me. I know you're in there somewhere. The man I love. I know you don't have it in you to kill me"
"Try me" he laughed, drunk with the power you were so willing to give him.
"These-" you panted, raising your arms in the air to show him your cuffs, "These are what's been keeping me alive but I know you won't-"
But you never finished the sentence. He didn't even think twice before ripping them off your arms and throwing them onto the floor, along with all the other mess you two had made.
You never thought he'd actually spare you. So it wasn't a surprise when the first thing he did after freeing you, was reach for his knife with the sole purpose of driving it through your chest.
But you were faster. You framed his face into your palms, releasing the energy from your body and allowing it to flow through his. It felt weird, wrong and chaotic, and the power surge wiggled itself out of your control, until a blast between your bodies sent you both flying back across the room, falling down onto the floor.
And this time none of you stood up.
-
"I leave them alone for what, a day?" Tony sighed, walking out of his Iron Man suit.
"Holy shit!" Steve cried out, his knees betraying him as he tried to rush to you.
"No, wait!" Nat stopped him, "You can't wake them up until we get them somewhere safe. We need to make new cuffs for Y/n, and find a way to keep Bucky contained in case, you know… he's still not Bucky"
Steve was fuming with anger, nostrils flaring, "These are my friends you're talking about!" he exclaimed, pointing to your bodies on the floor, "Your friends too, Nat. You see them like this and the first thing you think about is restraining them!?"
"We need to make sure we're all safe" she sighed with sympathy, grabbing his hand for a comforting rub.
"You make sure you're safe-" Steve scoffed, "I'll make sure they're alive"
"Hey-" Nat stopped him, "If you touch her and startle her in any way, you die!"
Her words hurt him but he knew you never would. Steve felt his heart shutter just imaging what you must have gone through. He was ablaze with pure determination to prove Nat wrong, and to do right by you and Buck. "I carried her in my arms while she was passed out when we rescued her from that facility-" he fummed, pointing at you, "She never knew a man that didn't try to hurt her before. And when she woke up, she was afraid. Scared for her life. She cried in my arms and begged me to not let them take her again! She was never anywhere close to hurting me! She's good. So good. There's only good inside of her, I trust her to not hurt me more than I trust myself, ok? If I'm wrong, so be it. I die. I don't care. She deserves someone to look after her. If I had to chose, saving her would be the way I'd want to go"
His rant left Nat speechless. She just gave him a simple nod and stepped back.
Carefully, he picked you up and carried you upstairs, as Tony put his suit back on and carried Bucky.
-
Never in your life had you woken up this fast. Your eyes snapped open and you sprung to your feet. 3 pairs of anxious eyes watched you, all of them ready to jump into action in case the situation called for an intervention.
"What-" you gawked, scanning the room, "Where is Bucky? Is he- is-"
"He's fine, Y/n" Steve assured you. He stood up and slowly approached you, arms outstretched. Your first instinct was to go for it, but when you reached him, you placed both your hands in his, and looked up at him with teary eyes.
"Are you sure?" you whimpered, "Can I see him?"
Sympathy took over his features, but Tony jumped in, "Absolutely not"
"What-" you turned to him, "Why? Did I-?"
"You didn't do anything wrong" Steve hummed, engulfing you in a hug even though you remained stiff in your spot. He rubbed your back, eager to soothe your worried mind, but you were too out of it.
“Can I just go?” you whispered, pulling back just enough so that he could see how serious you were, “I need to see him, please”
“Are you mad at him?” Nat asked with caution and your face fell.
“No!” you gasped, stepping away from Steve’s embrace, “No, not even one bit. I know that was not him, I know it’s not his fault. But when Bucky wakes up-”
“If he wakes up-” Tony sneered, roaming around the room. He nursed a glass of whiskey, as a mixture of disgust and exhaustion was readable on his features.
“When he wakes up!” you spoke through gritted teeth. Determination coated your words and the hairs on your body stood as you refused to even think of the alternative. “He will wake up. And I have to be there”
“What if the Winter Soldier wakes up?” Nat asked.
“That didn’t stop me last time”
“Oh, no!” Tony butted in, stepping in between you and Nat, arms outstretched, “You know I’m not one to cry after money, but you and your pal left me with $37 million worth of damage. You two are one broken cup away from getting thrown into the streets”
The sum he mentioned made the skin on your back crawl. You didn’t even have $37 dollars to your name, but it made sense. Your body alone crashed through three TV’s, one gamma ray projector and if you thought about it, you remembered Bucky pulling apart one of the Iron Legion robots, and only the thought made you flinch.
“So-” Tony said, “You two? Never in the same room again!”
“Take these off then” you suggested, pointing at the cuff on your wrists.
“Ha” Tony exclaimed, “A big chunk of that money comes from you frying all my electronics up until the 12th floor. Absolutely not”
“Tony, I’m serious” you whined, “He will hate himself. I need to be there! I need to make sure he doesn’t take all the blame on his shoulders”
He frowned, and sighed. He wasn’t an unreasonable man, and you hoped that core deep inside his chest really made up for a heart. And… it did. None of them were happy about it, but they finally accepted. Nat and Tony would have never probably given up if it wasn’t for Steve - right now, like so many times before, he really did seem like your guardian angel.
They ended up monitoring the room, and Tony waited for your signal, one hand on his cigarette, the other on the Iron Man suit. He was all talk - if anything was to go down and you would actually be in danger again, he wouldn’t even think twice before tearing his towers into pieces if it meant he could get you out alive.
And so you left, thanked them in the form of a simple nod, and headed down the dark hallways.
Oh, how you hated this.
What consumed you now had nothing to do with the pain you had endured in the past 24 hours. Its source was not physical, yet your whole body ached. You felt the weight of the world on your shoulders - and in some way, it was - Bucky was your whole world, and the fear of losing him breathed down your neck.
It had been about 20 minutes since you stopped in front of the door that led to the room he'd been confined in. When FRIDAY announced that Bucky woke up, you rushed over, only for a hazardous sense of anguish to stop you dead in your tracks. Judging by the way he sat in the corner of the room, his fingers aimlessly tracing every indentation in the handcuffs Tony had restrained him with, you had no problem telling which one of him woke up. He broke your heart. His room was equipped with 5 different cameras and 2 microphones. Completely unaware of them, he sat inches away from one, and your heart shattered, sinking 3 stories below when you heard him whimper.
It was soft and quiet. His whole frame shook as he wiped his nose with the back of his sleeve. He was hunched down, brown hair covering his perfect face, but still, his sadness brought you to tears.
You heard him again. He sniffled as he laid back against the wall. His eyes were bloodshot, lips almost white and dry as his chest raced up and down. His muscles clenched and his feet bounced against the metal floor, it was a sight you never wished you see ever again.
Softly, you raised a hand, and thought twice before finally knocking.
"Go away," Bucky called, voice all hoarse and dry as it broke halfway through.
You were able to see him on the small screen next to the door, but he had no idea who came to visit.
Out of instinct, you knocked again before typing in the password and ever so slowly walking inside.
Instantly, he looked up. He was surrounded by an air of darkness and despair, ever so obviously tormented to the peak of his capability.
He stared at you for a few seconds as his eyes watered, and then he gathered his lips into a straight line, shaking his head. "Please, go"
"Bucky, I-"
"Please" he cried, head falling forward as he toyed with the metal edges of his prosthetic arm. He shook his head, "Please, don't do this. Just, go"
You took a deep breath, only then entering the room far enough to actually be able to close the door behind you. Slowly turning back to him, your palms sweated as you had no idea what to say to him.
"Can you talk to me, Buck? Please?"
He chuckled, "About what?"
"About whatever it is you think you did wrong, I-"
As he heard your words, his hands instantly flew up to cover his face. He was, however, stopped, as the cuffs on his left wrist kept him from moving too much. While a new row of tears flooded his cheeks, his eyes met yours, "Look at me.. I need to be restrained while you're alone with me"
"Those cuffs would literally do nothing to stop you from escaping, and you know it"
"Maybe it's just a sense of reassurance"
"To who?" you scoffed.
"To them" Bucky responded, nodding his head towards one of the cameras. "I'm a monster" he added, wiggling his cuff restrained hand, "I'm a danger to everyone"
"Oh for fucks sake" you rolled your eyes, marching up to him. With absolutely no remorse, you grabbed his hand and harshly pulled apart the metal that had him restrained to the bed. Before he got a chance to say anything, you bent down, unclipped the microphone from the foot of the bed, threw it on the floor, and stepped on it, until it was nothing but a small pile of shattered plastic.
And you kept going, destroying the second microphone along with the 5 cameras on the walls as Bucky watched you with surprise. You finished by going for the door and locking it from the inside. "You think I'm afraid of you?" you asked softly, "For 6 hours you did your best to kill me and failed miserably. Look at me, I'm unscathed"
"Did you hear yourself?" he cringed, shaking his head, "I tried to kill you"
"Ok, I know I said that you did your best-" you said, mentally scolding yourself for the error in communication. "We both know that wasn't you. That wasn't you, Buck. It was Hydra. It was the winter soldier, not you. My Bucky would never-"
"Y/n-" he stopped you, "I know you don't see things the way I do-"
"But I see them the right way"
"Listen-" Bucky sighed, driving his hands through his hair. For the first time that night you actually saw his full face, his cheek and signature scowl, his blue eyes and the tilt of the corner of his mouth - your soul melted when you associated the picture with the words that came out of his mouth. "I can't blame you for being here. I can't. If the roles were reversed, I'd be doing the exact same thing. But, holy fuck-" he sighed, pausing to gather his thoughts. Bucky looked you up and down. His lips quivered and his head fell to the side as a sad smile appeared on his lips. "Remember this morning? How we talked about our hypothetical child?" he laughed and shook his head, "Even if I know we could never have a kid because we're both sterile, it was still the most beautiful thought that ever crossed my mind, Y/n''
"Mine too, Buck-"
"And what did I do?" he dismissed your empathy, "Two hours later I was unloading an AK-47 into your stomach, like the brainwashed maniac that I am!"
"Don’t say that!" you exclaimed, "Don't you dare think about things like this!"
"Why wouldn't I?" he threw his hands up in the air, "What does it matter whose fault it is? I get to live with the consequences."
"But-" you breathed out, "We can work through this. You did it before. You can't let something that hydra did dictate your life, Bucky. You deserve so much better. You deserve to be happy!"
"I tried to kill you!" he screamed, for the first time losing his calm and standing up to be at the same level as you.
"That was not you!"
"So what?" he huffed, "I was there, Y/n! I will never, NEVER get the feeling of crushing your bones out of my head! I felt your neck snap! I choked you with my arms! That is not something I can live with! I can't live a life by your side if every time I look at you I'm reminded of those horrible things I did to you!"
"Buck-" you cried, looking at him from behind too many layers of unshed tears, "Please, don't say that"
"I'm sorry" he responded in the same fashion, his pain coating every word he said. "When I close my eyes I see you laying in a puddle of blood. I can't stop hearing your screams of agony. Agony that no matter how you put it, was caused by my hands. That's not something we can live with, Y/n. You were not made for this. You really do fucking deserve someone that won't wake up one day and try to murder you in cold blood"
"And what do you deserve, Buck?" you quietly asked, searching for his eyes, "To live your life alone? Forever? If you had been with anyone else, this would have turned out so much worse. That cute barista three blocks down that always scribbles a heart on your coffee cup? She's cute, yeah. You deserve to be loved by someone, but if that someone was her, you wouldn't be drowning in guilt right now, Bucky, you'd be mourning her. Yes, you got troubles. Yes, you've got a past more fucked up than anyone else I have ever heard about. That's the kind of shit you can't change. But whatever you do from now on, is in your fucking hands and yours alone. Don't try to tell me you're not worthy of having someone, because that's the fattest load of crap I've ever heard. You're a good man! With a fucked up past! And a dark side that you need to fight! And you have me! I don't care you dropped Tony's piano on my legs, apparently I can take it! I'm here for you no matter what! You don't want to be with me anymore? Fine. But don't you dare push me away, thinking that a ruined future makes up for a ruined past"
"Who's to say I won't try it again?" he asked, "I don't know what triggered the transition. But what if once a week I end up trying to kill you-"
"Apparently you can't!" you laughed bitterly.
"Ok, so I can't" he nodded in approval, "Is that what you want? I should be your rock, your best friend, I should always be there for you. Do you want to have your whole world turned upside down whenever my brain decides to go berserk?"
"See, Buck" you sighed, "Of course I don't want that. I can't fucking stand here and tell you that I do. What kind of credibility would I have then? But you know what I want? You. You and whatever nazi shit that comes along. I want you. To help you. To have you with me. To see you everyday. If every Saturday at 10am you decide you want to kill me, you best believe I'm sacrificing my morning coffee just so we can kung fu around the living room"
He looked at you for a long second, the corners of his lips fighting a hard battle against the hint of a smile that started to show on his features. Eventually he caved and chuckled, shaking his head, "That was a bit funny"
"And fucking true," you cried, going for his hands and bringing them up to your chest. He winced, but you spoke up again, determined to not let his mind torture him.
"I love you, Bucky"
"How do you not hate me?" he choked, shaking his head in disbelief. "Can you seriously look at me and not get even the slightest instinct to run away?"
"Bucky..." you breathed out, cupping his cheek. "How could I run away when I've never seen you in more pain than right now?"
"You're an angel, you know that?"
"I've been called a lot of things" you giggled, "Angel isn't one of them, but if that's what you want, I'll take it"
"Come here" he whispered, wrapping his arms around your frame. He had you nuzzle against his chest, his hold keeping you tight and secure. His heart beat against your cheek and your eyes watered again. There wasn't one thing in the world you wouldn't do for that heart - to make sure it keeps beating, and that it keeps the man you love alive. And content, above all. All you wanted right now was for him to accept the things that happened. You wanted to take whatever weight he was carrying on his shoulders, and put it upon yourself. "I love you so much, Bucky" you cried against his chest as your hold tightened around him, "I hate to see you torn like this. I don't want anything to ever happen to you. It terrifies me. I love you with all that I am. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you. You deserve the world, baby"
"So do you" he whispered, kissing the top of your head.
You felt his chest shake, a deep rumble echoed from the depths of his lungs. You looked up to see him fight back a sob, his eyes wide open, glossy and red, trained down on you, "I love you too much to do this, Y/n. I'm sorry, I don't think I can"
"No!" you gasped, pressing your face back against his shoulder, "Don't do that. You can't do that. No"
"We won't work, Y/n" Bucky said as he brought you even closer, "I can't look at you anymore. I can't look at you without dying inside. You don't want to live with me like that"
"Yes, I do!" you sobbed. "I'll work with anything you give me, I swear there is nothing more I want. Just you. Just you and me. Bucky, please don't do this"
He held you close for what felt like half a second, but rationally speaking, your legs were getting numb. You just stood there, clinging to his body, taking in his scent and listening to his breathing even out until he pushed you away. Oh, how you didn't want to let go. Ever. But you did, and choked back a sob as soon as you felt the cold air of the room brush against the part of your body that had been pressed to his.
"We should get some sleep, Y/n"
"Are you coming with me?" you whimpered, afraid of the answer he might give you.
Bucky shook his head, "I think I'll just sleep here tonight"
That broke you. The shock and terror cut your breath away. It felt impossible - the feeling of losing him. The amount of pain that surged through you. At that particular moment, you felt like cracking your chest open to grip your heart into your hand and pick apart the broken parts. But not even that felt good enough, you were fairly sure you'd be left with nothing. It felt like a slap across your cheek, like a cloth had been placed over your mouth and your legs cut at the knees. It felt like the end.
Optimistic by nature, not even you could deny the reason he wanted to sleep alone. It was clear as day.
"If-" you mumbled, tears coating your face at their own free will, voice shaking as you barely managed to articulate the words over the violent sobs that ripped their way out of your throat. "If I promise to not do anything to try and convince you to stay… can you promise me that in case you decide to leave, you'll come and tell me first?"
"Oh, doll" Bucky broke down all over again, throwing himself at you again. He collapsed on top of you, molding his body around yours. "I promise, angel"
You just nodded. That was all you could do. It took another few moments for you to gather yourself and stop wailing, but you did, and then, with nothing else other than a sad smile, you left.
Your feet carried you to your room, and you were ready to collapse on top of your bed. Eager to cuddle into his pillows. They smelled like that shower gel you got him and you hated it. You wanted his scent. Not even caring how ridiculous it sounded, you padded over to the chair in the corner of your bedroom, the one Bucky uses to discard all his worn clothes.
You wanted to find a shirt he wore, one that smelled exactly like you knew him, but before you reached the clothes pile, your attention was drawn to the window.
Steve was standing there, facing the busy streets outside, hands in his pocket and his head turned in your direction.
"I didn't see you, sorry" you gasped, as your eyes accommodated to the darkness.
"It's fine" he shook his head, "I just figured you'd turn on the lights, you know, like the normal people. Didn't think I'd scare you"
"Yeah, sorry" you sighed, plopping down on the edge of the bed. "I did even think about turning the lights on"
He didn't say anything, but you saw him nod. He knew your pain. He lost enough in his life, and seeing his best friend sink back into his darkness was surely not easy for him either.
"Is he ok?" Steve eventually asked.
You shook your head, "He's too good of a man to be ok"
"That is Bucky" he laughed, and you couldn't help but do the same. The irony.
Steve's curiosity was palpable in the room. Words could not describe the appreciation you had for him for respecting your boundaries and not pushing you in a moment like this. But he deserved to know.
You opened your mouth to explain to him what happened, but as your mind processed everything all over again, you broke down. "I think he's gonna leave-" you cried.
Steve was quick to gather you in his arms, engulfing you in a bear hug, helping you stand on your own two feet. "What do you mean?" he asked, concern tracing his tone.
"I understand him, I do. And I promised I won't try to get him to stay if he doesn't want to. But- but I should've done more, Steve. I should've shown him somehow how much I love him. But I'm afraid he'll leave, and I don't want to live-"
"Hey, hey, hey" Steve hurried to stop you, petting your head softly before urging you to look up at him. "Bucky loves you more than I ever thought possible, ok? There's no question about it. I'm sorry I'm doing this, but I think he'll postpone it anyway"
"What?"
"The man wants to marry you, ok?" Steve smiled, "He asked Tony if he had any work for him so he could raise money. Can you imagine how that went down? He was red like a tomato, but he didn't think twice. James Barnes used the computer to look for rings for you. The Bucky I know? Never would've done this. You brought to life a part of him that no one else has seen before. He loves you. With all that he is. And trust me when I tell you, he won't stand to be away from you. You're his whole world, Y/n. He's my best friend, trust me when I tell you this is something you'll work through. I'll help, we'll all help. You're not gonna lose him, Y/n. He's so beat up about all of this because he loves you this much. He's all yours. If he decides to leave, I need you to be strong because he will be back. I got him back 70 years later. You just need to trust him. Trust his heart, ok?"
"Oh my god" you cried, "I don't know what to say"
"Don’t say anything" he chuckled, "We've been through so much together. All of us. Even if we try, nothing pulls us apart, ok? How many times has Loki died, hm?"
"God, Steve!" you scoffed somewhat amused and pulled back just to hit him, "Did you seriously compare Bucky to Loki!?"
"It got you to smile, didn't it?" he laughed. "But I'm serious. You've both been through so much worse than this. You'll get through this one too. And in case you ever feel like you won't, I'm here, ok?"
"Ok…"
Funny as it all was, it worked. He calmed you down - to some extent. Gave you hope you didn't know existed. If it wasn't for Steve, you probably would have not been able to fall asleep. And even though dreams didn't visit you, and you never relaxed enough to actually get some rest, you just dozed off. All clothed and curled diagonally on the bed, you cuddled Bucky's pillow to your chest as your eyes slowly fell closed.
When you opened them again, it was still dark out. You had no idea what pulled you awake as you struggled to sit up on the bed, but then you heard Bucky's voice again, from the doorway.
"Y/n?"
“Buck?” you gasped, turning around. Only his silhouette was visible, head hung low and hands deep in his pockets. He was leaning against the doorway, silently awaiting your response.
Right then and there, you felt your world collapse. Steve’s monologue made you actually fucking believe things would be fine, but here he was, keeping his promise. In the buttcrack of night, he kept his word, bidding you a much feared farewell.
“Is-” you sobbed, jumping out of bed and rushing towards him. You almost knocked him off of his feet when you flung yourself at him, but he was quick to reciprocate, caging you between his arms. “Is this it? You’re leaving?”
He didn’t say anything which frankly made everything worse. You broke down even further, clinging to his shirt as if it was the only source of oxygen keeping you alive - it sure felt like it.
“Look at me” Bucky urged you, tilting your chin up, “Please?”
You slowly lifted your head, your eyes meeting his.
“I’m sorry, I will make it up to you” he whispered, a frown settling above his tired eyes, “You’ll see”
“What does that even mean?" you questioned, tired and sick of this ongoing conflict that should not even have been an issue to begin with. "You don't have to make up for anything"
"I know you see things like that" he cooed, rubbing his thumb along your cheekbone. He spoke softly, his breath fanning against your skin, somehow, even in this situation, managing to calm you down. "But you can understand me too, right?"
"I don't want to" you shrugged, "I don't care. Why does it matter if I understand you or not if you're gonna leave anyway?"
"I'm not leaving, doll"
"What!?" you beamed, pulling away from his hold and grabbing his face in your palms, "You're not- but you're-"
His whole frame softened, "I'm not here to say goodbye, Y/n. I'm not going anywhere"
"Oh god" you gasped.
"Come on, come here" Bucky chuckled softly, bringing you back into his hold, "I'm staying here. I'm sorry for everything I put you through. You're the most badass woman I know and I managed to break you"
"I love you, Buck"
"I love you more, Y/n" he sighed, "I'll make everything right, I promise"
"Oh, fuck" you breathed out relieved, "Just do whatever you want, I don't care. You're here. That's all that matters."
"And we also need to teach you to fight-" he added, "For real. And find a way for you to take those goddamn shackles off in case this happens again"
"Tony won't be too happy about it" you laughed.
"Fuck if I care-" Bucky said strenly, pointing at you, "Next time, you need to be able to stop me. And fast"
"Maybe it won't happen again"
"Maybe not" Bucky nodded, "But if it does, we need to be ready"
"Thank you" you said, "I know I didn't play this right. I know I literally dismissed everything that you must have gone through today. I'm sorry"
"You don't get to be sorry" Bucky stopped you, "Not after-"
"Then you don't get to, either!"
"Meh" he shrugged, "We'll see"
"Bucky!"
"I love you" he laughed, bending down to pick you up. He planted his hands on the back of your thighs, picking you up with ease and walking you over to the bed. You plopped back against the fluffy mattress with a huff, and giggled as he crawled his way on top of you. Instantly, his lips met yours. It was exhilarating, the kind that made your chest ache. You moaned against his lips as love transpired through his touch. It was overwhelming and the first happy tears of the day streamed down your temples as you arched yourself against him.
"I'm so weak for you, fuck" Bucky groaned, his right arm reaching around your back and pressing you against his chest. "You're everything" he added as he kissed his way along your neck, "I'm all yours forever, Y/n. I love you too much"
"I'm here, baby" you moaned, hiding your face into his shoulder, "You're mine, Bucky. All mine."
His lips didn't leave your body as he pushed himself up just enough to be able to reach the buckle of his jeans. The sound made your core ache, and your mouth watered.
There was no patience in his movements. He barely pulled his jeans down to his knees before ridding you of your pajama pants. He lodged himself between your thighs, his mouth instantly back on yours again.
"Come on" you panted, steading your arms against his strong back. Your legs found their way around his frame, ready to pull him closer.
When Bucky guided his hands between your bodies to align the tip of his cock with your opening, you whimpered in anticipation. Agonisingly slow, he trailed his tip along your folds before reaching your clit. With a blissful moan, he reached further up, tapping his cock against your bare cunt a couple of times before returning his attention back to you.
"I got you, baby" he hummed, pecking your lips. "You ready? Is this ok?"
With eagerness, you nodded and wiggled under his weight, your pussy aching for him. "Yes, yes"
When you felt his cock push past your folds, you moaned out loud, your voice cracking with the pure pleasure that took over your being.
He eased himself in, going all the way until he all but knocked the breath out of you, and he stopped. Bucky reached down to kiss you again, his cock motionless, balls deep inside of you.
He bit down on your lip and you giggled.
"Felt your pussy clench around me, doll" he laughed, "You're good to me"
"You may be all mine, Buck, but I'm all yours too"
"Holy shit" he panted, shaking his head in disbelief. It was as if you weren't real. He'd have pinched himself, but if this was a dream, he really did not want to wake up. So he kept going.
Nibbling at the skin of your neck, he started to pull himself out of you. The slow pace was driving you insane. Your need grew so strong you felt everything. His breath, the way his hair tickled your chin, his strong around around your shoulders, his massive thighs rubbing against yours, every small vein along his cock that drove you closer and closer to the sweetest bliss you had ever known.
He got you all worked up at an agonisingly slow pace, before his thrusts became more and more aggravated. You moaned with each thrust despite your struggles to keep quiet.
"You know how much I love hearing you, doll" Bucky shook his head as he drove himself back inside of you all the way, "Moan for me"
"Fuck, ok" you gasped, and closed your eyes as you started to fall apart. You gripped the bed sheets into your hands and pulled as he kept fucking you, deep and hard.
"You're so good, baby" he groaned, "So, so good for me"
He sunk his teeth into your shoulder, fervently sucking deep, maroon marks all ice your skin. Gutural grounds betrayed his air of self control as a plethora of curse words escaped his lips. "Taking me so fucking well. I can't keep going like this, you're too fucking tight-"
"Cum, baby" you encouraged, voice low and tender as you spoke against his ear, "Cum for me"
"Don’t have to tell me twice" he chuckled.
His thrusts started to become sloppy and irregular, as his eyes flew closed. You missed the blue of his eyes, but his mouth was slightly agape as he panted his way to an orgasm.
His chest heaved against yours, "How do you feel so fucking good?" Bucky cursed, eyes still closed as he barely managed to mumble his words between the numerous grunts of pleasure that forced their way out of his throat.
You gave him no answer, instead just clung to him tighter, "Fuck, Bucky, I'm close-"
"Come on" he encouraged, hurrying to rub your clit. His fingers found your bud in an instant, working experienced, familiar circles that almost drove you over the edge. "Cum with me, ok?"
You nodded, gathering your lips between your teeth. He kept fucking you, harder and faster until he had turn limp under his weight. You came as his name rolled off your lips, and he followed seconds after, pumping his juices deep inside your pussy.
You felt his absolute pleasure as he breathed heavily against your shoulder. He kept going until you were both spent, and then fell down beside you.
"Bucky-" you whined, turning over and curling into his side, the lack of contact making you more needy than ever.
"Yes, darling?" he panted, tapping your chin.
"Nothing. I just love you"
"Love you too, doll" he huffed, spinning you around so you laid on your back.
He effortlessly helped you out of your shirt and plopped down on top of you, his head resting on your bare chest. His warm, right hand cupped your breast as he closed his eyes. He wrapped himself around you, "Hold me" he muttered, "please"
"Always, Bucky" you said, engulfing him in the tightest hold you could muster. Only then did you feel him calm down completely, and there was nothing in the world you could ever ask for.
-
If you liked it, please reblog and tell me what you thought? :)
#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky x reader#bucky barnes imagine#sebastian stan x reader#bucky barnes smut#bucky barnes angst#bucky barnes fluff#sebastian stan smut
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Assuage: Chapter 12
Yoongi x Reader
Genre: ABO (Alpha/Beta/Omega) dynamics, angst, fluff, smut, enemies to lovers
Warnings: Oral sex, dirty talk, unprotected sex, creampie (don’t @ me lol)
“Yoongi!” You squealed when he let you fall out of his arms and onto the bed, your body bouncing lightly from the force of your body hitting the springs underneath the bed.
“Gonna tell me that you want my knot, with a straight fucking face at that, and expect me to just react casually,” Yoongi muttered to himself as he reached down and grabbed the hem of his shirt, pulling it up and over his head and you couldn’t help but to bite your lip as you looked him over. He wasn’t overly muscular but he was still firm, and your Omega loved knowing that he’d be able to protect you if need be.
“You gonna take those off, or do you prefer to stare?” Yoongi asked, motioning with his hand to your pants and you looked back up at him, not liking the way that he was cockily smirking sideways at you.
“I don’t remember you asking me to,” you shot back with a smile.
“Hey, I was gonna eat you out but if you wanna play games,” he shrugged and you immediately shot into action at his words, reaching down and practically ripping your button undone before lifting your hips and pushing your jeans and underwear down your legs . “That’s what I thought.”
“Shut up and come kiss me,” you replied. Yoongi climbed onto the bed then, crawling on top of your body and coming face to face with you.
“Hi,” he smiled as he looked down at you and you reached up, setting your hands on his cheeks.
“Hi,” you giggled.
“You sure that you’re sure?” Yoongi checked in again. “I really wanna do this but I don’t want you to regret it later.”
“I won’t, I promise,” you swore. “So stop asking me and kiss me instead.”
“You’re lucky you’re cute,” Yoongi muttered as he leaned down, pressing his lips against yours. You let your lips fall apart, allowing his tongue to slide against yours as you wrapped your legs around his waist.
After kissing for a few minutes, Yoongi slowly pulled away from your mouth, trailing his lips downwards and licking against the skin of your neck. When the tip of his tongue just so happened to glide lightly over your scent gland, you couldn’t help the moan that escaped your throat.
“Oh, you like that?” Yoongi whispered as he began to suck on your skin.
“What did it sound like?” You huffed out a laugh.
“Sounds like you wouldn’t mind very much if I marked you,” he mumbled against your neck and you let your eyes flutter closed as the image of walking around with hickies left by Yoongi flooded your mind. “Smells like you love that idea, actually.”
“You’re mean,” you sighed and you felt Yoongi nod as he began to inch his way down your body, pressing soft kisses against your skin as he did so.
“Only to those who can handle it or who like it,” he replied. “I think you’re falling into both categories there baby.”
“You also talk too much,” you rolled your eyes, lifting your head afterwards to see him finally reaching the apex of your thighs. He looked up at you as he leaned down and licked one, thick stripe up the length of your slit.
“You have the prettiest pussy I’ve ever seen,” he whispered before laving small circles right on top of your clit.
“Fuck Yoongi,” you whispered, letting your head fall back against the bed as he began to suck earnestly on your clit. “Holy shit, that feels so good.”
He hummed against you and the feeling of it had your stomach caving inwards from how good it felt. You lifted your head again, your eyes widening when you saw that he was still looking up at you.
“Why are you staring at me?” You chuckled.
“I just can’t believe that I can have you like this,” he answered after pulling away from you. “I’ve been thinking about how you would taste on my tongue since I saw you take that fucking deer down.”
“Really?” You smiled, your breath hitching a little bit when he took the opportunity to slowly slide his pointer finger inside of you.
“Really,” he nodded, slowly pumping his finger in and out of you.
“Well, how do I taste?” You asked and Yoongi smirked as he began to fuck you with his finger faster.
“Amazing,” he groaned, leaning down and taking your clit back into his mouth while simultaneously pushing his middle finger inside of you alongside his pointer finger. With him using both fingers and his mouth on you, it only took a few more minutes for you to begin to feel that familiar build up in the pit of your stomach.
“Please, please don’t stop,” you pleaded. “God, I’m gonna come.”
“Come for me Y/N-ah,” he encouraged and sure enough, with a few more pumps of his fingers and suckles of his mouth, you orgasmed hard. Yoongi continued to stroke you through it, your breath coming out in little pants as your rode out your high.
“Fuck, you looked so beautiful coming for me,” Yoongi praised you and you gave him a small smile as you collapsed back against the bed, trying to regulate your breathing again.
“That felt so good,” you sighed.
“I can tell, look how you’re covering my fingers,” Yoongi said as he gently pulled his fingers out of you, holding them up and letting you see how the remnants of your orgasm were sticking to him. You were about to reply until you watched him stick those fingers into his mouth, sucking them clean. You weren’t entirely sure why, but it made your Omega happy to see him enjoying the taste of you.
“Tasty,” Yoongi said after pulling his fingers out of his mouth, sending you a quick wink.
“Fuck, I wanna suck your dick,” you blurted out, making Yoongi laugh as he reached down and began to undo his pants.
“As much as I’d love that, I want nothing more than to be inside of you right now,” he replied. “You did say that you wanted my knot.”
“Yeah, yeah, let’s do that,” you agreed immediately as you set up to pull your shirt and bra off, simultaneously watching as Yoongi pushed his pants and boxers down his legs, kicking them off with his feet and letting them hit the floor. His cock was fully hard, sitting up nicely as Yoongi moved to rest between your legs.
“I don’t have any condoms on me,” Yoongi admitted and you just shook your head dismissively.
“It’s fine. I’m clean and on birth control and I know you’re clean too,” you said.
“Wait, how did you know that?”
“I ran some tests on you when Taehyung first brought you to me,” you revealed, and Yoongi cocked his head to the side as he looked down at you. “What? I had to make sure that you didn’t have any preexisting conditions!”
“Is this what it’s gonna be like dating the pack doctor?” Yoongi wondered.
“Yes, so get used to it,” you giggled. Instead of replying, Yoongi just leaned down to kiss you again. As the two of you made out, Yoongi grabbed ahold of the base of his cock, letting the head of it smack against your clit.
“Ready?” He checked and after receiving a head nod from you, he let his hips move forward as he slowly pushed his cock inside of you.
“God,-” you choked, your head instantly shooting up to look down in between your legs.
“Holy shit Y/N-ah,” Yoongi whispered as he bit down on his lip, trying his best to control himself. “Fucking tight.”
“Y-you’re big,” you whimpered back.
“Complaining?” He questioned while simultaneously pushing his hips all the way forward, completely sheathing himself inside of you. You let out a strangled moan as your hands scrambled for Yoongi’s arms, gripping onto them tightly.
“N-no,” you shook your head as he began to steadily work in and out of you.
“Mm, I didn’t think so,” Yoongi smirked as he looked down at you, watching you closely. “You like being stretched out then, huh?”
“God, would you shut up and fuck me already?” You groaned, taking one of your hands off of his arm and using it to weakly smack his chest. Yoongi grabbed ahold of your hand then, intertwining his fingers with yours before pinning your hand down onto the bed.
“Careful what you ask for baby,” he cautioned, making sure that his knees were stable on the bed before fucking into you rhythmically. As he did, your back arched up from the bed at how good he felt sliding in and out of you and you couldn’t help but to squirm, your free hand that wasn’t being held down by Yoongi coming up to grab at the hair on the back of his neck.
“Good?” He wondered aloud as he fucked you, doing his best to try and find your g-spot every time that he dove back into you.
“So good,” you nodded, looking up at him with hooded eyes. “Feels so fucking good.”
“Mm, you smell so fucking good,” he echoed, leaning down and sticking his face in your neck. “God, I could keep my face in your neck all day.”
“L-like it that much?” You moaned.
“Love it,” he corrected you. “Smell so good and so pretty, makes me want to give you my knot.”
“Give it to me,” you encouraged him.
“Gotta make you come first,” he huffed, and it seemed like he redoubled his efforts because he began to thrust into you even harder.
“F-fuh, fuck,” you gasped when you felt him hit your g-spot. “Right there.”
“Gonna come for me baby?” He asked and you nodded silently. “Go ahead, come while I give you my knot.”
“Nngh, fuck, I’m coming,” you groaned, your grip on both Yoongi’s hand and his hair tightening as you clenched around him. Yoongi let out an actual moan, the feeling of your orgasm causing his knot to start to swell.
“God damn it, Y/N-ah,” he grumbled and you moaned softly when you felt his knot push into you, his cum flowing into you swiftly after that. You relaxed against the bed then while Yoongi let go of your hand in order to continue holding himself up above you.
“How long does it take your knot to go down?” You questioned and Yoongi grimaced a little.
“Between 20 and 30 minutes usually,” he told you, making your eyes widen a little. “But if I’m really turned on, which I just was, it can be anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour.”
“Min Yoongi, I swear to God, if you have me stuck on this knot for more than 30 minutes, you’re never fucking me again,” you threatened.
“Not even if I make you come again while we wait?” Yoongi wondered innocently and your breath hitched in your throat
“Well, I mean, if you think you can,” you shrugged.
“Thought so,” Yoongi smirked.
..........................................
“What the fuck Yoongi?” You exclaimed, clearly outraged. “You’re seriously telling me that you don’t have one fuzzy blanket in this house?”
“They make me too warm!” Yoongi shot back as he stepped out of the en suite bathroom that was connected to his bedroom, pajama pants slung low on his hips.
“It’s about to start snowing literally any day now! Do you wanna freeze to death?!” You chastised him as you moved around his bed, trying to make a small nest. After showering and changing into some of Yoongi’s clothes (his t-shirt and a pair of joggers), Yoongi asked you to stay the night with him which you readily agreed to. However, Yoongi didn’t expect to come out of the bathroom to you attempting to make a nest in his bed.
“Need anything?” He wondered as he leaned against the doorway.
“No,” you pouted as you stood back and surveyed your work. You had taken a few of Yoongi’s extra blankets, which were too thin as far as you were concerned, and piled them onto the bed. “It’s not like my nest at home, but it’ll do for tonight.”
“Good,” he chuckled as he watched you climb onto the bed and make yourself comfortable. “Can I come and get in your nest?”
“Yeah,” you nodded, smiling when he paced over to the bed and climbed onto it as well, settling his body next to yours. “You really need to get fuzzy blankets .”
“If I get them, I’d never use them,” he sighed. “They’d only be for you.”
“And what’s wrong with that?” You wondered. “You actually owe me for having me stuck on your knot for 40 minutes.”
“I literally made you come three more times in that 40 minutes though, so you can’t hold that against me,” he shot back, which made you blush.
“Don’t change the subject,” you said. “Either get more blankets or we’re gonna have to start spending the night at my place because I miss my nest.”
“Ok, ok,” he chuckled as he extended his arm, smiling when you laid all the way down and cuddled into the side of his body. “I’ll get you all the fuzzy blankets you can use and then you can set up a proper nest here, just like the one you have at your place.”
“And you’ll leave it up?” You asked. “You won’t take it down even if I’m not spending the night here and it’s just you?”
“I definitely won’t,” he assured you. “I’m gonna want to be reminded of your scent if you’re not here.”
“I don’t think you have to worry about that for a while,” you giggled. “You reek of peaches.”
“And you smell like freshwater and tangerines,” Yoongi smiled.
“Good, because I like wearing your scent on me,” you admitted.
“I like wearing yours too baby,” he murmured, leaning down and pressing a kiss to the top of your head as you turned your head and pressed it into his neck, inhaling his scent and letting it lull you to sleep.
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