#and being a southerner. i like writing southern accents. i talk like that. hehe

[crimsongrimoire]

i have Such undue boothill brainrot and a large part of it is probably just. Cowboy

[fangirlanxiety74]

TELL ME ABOUT TED. Headcanons you have for him, anything... Can be silly or serious.

Someone... SOMEONE'S ASKING ME ABOUT MY HEADCANONS?! IT'S BEEN YEARS SINCE SOMEONE'S ASKED ME ABOUT MY HEADCANONS!! HOLD ON, I MADE A DOCUMENT!! /ref/hj

In actuality, I did genuinely make a google doc. But it's not ready to be shared yet, so I'll share the highlights.

First off, the game manual lies. He is NOT 44. He's 33 at OLDEST. I kind of consider him more like 29/30. Just barely.

He grew up in South Carolina hehe, farm boy

Bisexual disaster but I think this is kinda just obvious.

He is the oldest between him and his 5 siblings!!! And adding onto this, he is SUCH a good older brother. I don't care if everyone else disagrees, he could be the worst man alive but the one good thing someone could say was that he took care of his siblings.

If you know Ayano from Kagerou Project, I think he's a lot like her when he's younger. Like 8/9 years old. He tried so hard to protect them all from their parents and keep them happy. He'd sacrifice so much for them, it's why he kinda,, went into the extreme of being so,, entitled as a grown up. Ykwim???

Just imagine. With the ice caves, moving without thinking to save the others before himself? His brain subconsciously doing what he knows best; sacrificing what he has for others.

Selflessness as a core trait for Ted, please.

Another thing relating to his siblings: He knows how to do ballet!! And he's REALLY good at it. He actually has a lot of fun doing it. One of his sisters wanted to, but she was too afraid to take lessons alone, so he went along with her in secret. Didn't get caught for years. (She stopped lessons once he got forced out of them)

He talks a little like a New-Yorker, or at the very least, that transAtlantic accent (yk like from the old movies?) to try and play off as that kind of guy like Great Gatsby.

His actual accent is Southern. Sometimes it slips out when he's like, extremely flustered/angry, but it's such a rare thing.

He can't stand the sound of someone crying, it immediately makes him angry. Take that, and yk, Ellen or Benny constantly crying... Yeaaaah. (This is also due to his siblings).

This is obvious, he forces himself into doing a lot of masculine things that he doesn't like to appear older/wiser/better, insert whatever word you wanna use that translates to "I am insecure about myself" lol

Okay this last one is really important to me and like. It. Needs its own special paragraph. He is a creative person in his soul. He loves to learn, he loves to write, he loves to read and dance and sing and draw and he has such a huge imagination and love for creativity. You can see it in his psychodrama with how it plays out like a full-blown Grimms Fairytale, the monster he imagined that no one else could see, the line in the radio drama "Am I the last storyteller, telling the last story...?"

He's a storyteller. He has so much to say and share, and he would've done something creative with his life if he had the option, but the abuse he faced and the societal expectations placed on him forced him to,, give it all up. Made him realize he could never have that. Which is why, at least in the game, AM chose him. Ted had so much potential to create, and just... gave it up. For seemingly nothing. Why wouldn't that make AM mad, who can't create, can't even imagine or wonder?

AKA Theatre Kid Ted canon, let it be known

I have like, also. I have a somewhat-AU of Omori for the ihnm cast, and Ted takes the role of Basil. I think Dream Basil vs RW Basil fit a lot of what he is as a kid vs an adult, or at least aspects of both due.

I also have a Hadestown AU of him with my self-insert where he takes the role of Eurydiceeee.... Like. Guys, Hadestown fans, hear me out. Ted singing "Flowers." AM singing "Hey Little Songbird" to Ted. PLEASE HEAR ME CAN YOU HEAR ME??? ARE YOU LISTENING??? /J

There's so much more I can say but this is getting so long I will definitely share more if people want nfjkdc bUT THANK YOU FOR ASKING!!!

[pahtoosh]

Dry

[image ID: a gif of Lee Bodecker sitting on a couch and talking, made by tumblr user unearthlydust. /.end ID]

masterlist

18+

wc: ~400 words

warnings: fluff. mentions of taking a bath together. multiple attempts at writing a southern accent were made

a/n: i’ve been dealing with a little writer’s block! apparently writing three essays and a speech at once doesn’t leave me much energy for my creative writing. i wrote this little piece to help with that and i quite like it! it was also my first time writing for lee, i hope i did him justice(as much as i can really, within this context hehe)

pairing: Lee Bodecker x gn!little!reader

summary: you’ve had a hard day at the diner and Lee helps you regress at home.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

Lee warmed the lotion in his hands before gently massaging it into your dry knuckles.

“That feelin’ better, baby?”

“Yeah, tank you Daddy.”

“Anytime, sweetheart. Can’t believe the nerve of this town, makin’ this winter so cold an’ dry. My poor baby’s hands are freezin’ right off. Don’t even get me started on that diner, my little baby shouldn’t be stuck back there washin’ dishes. Hell, you shouldn’t hav’ta work at all.”

You had just come home from a long shift at the diner, trudging your way through mud and snow alone in the cold. If you had known Lee was coming home early from the station, you might’ve walked faster or even asked him for a ride home.

Lee kissed your forehead as he continued massaging your hands. “Wish you’d told me you’re workin’ tonight, baby. Could’ve stayed with you at the diner as you were closing up, I know you don’t like bein’ there after hours. ‘Specially if you’re alone in the back. And then I would've stopped by the park for a bit, let ya stargaze before we headed home.”

Lee gently placed your hands in your lap before getting up, causing you to whine at the loss of contact.

Lee chuckled and held your chin, tracing your pout with his thumb. “I’ll be back in a minute, sweetheart. Just goin’ to check on the oven. dinner should be ready soon.”

He walked away, leaving you to slump on the couch. You admired his form as he leaned over to check on the meal roasting away. Lee looked especially handsome to you in his pajamas.

After you entered the house tonight and he saw the stress you were holding, he suggested taking a bath together. He knew you’d feel better having washed the day off of you. He also sensed that you were needing to regress, and a warm bath followed by changing into soft pajamas all while being doted on by your Daddy would get the job done.

The warm bath helped a lot at making you more comfortable, but there was an aching in your bones that only Lee could fix.

“Needs just a few more minutes, darlin’. That okay?”

“Yeah, just wanna snuggle with Daddy,” you said, still slumped over the arm of the couch.

Lee grinned as he made his way back to you. “If it’s cuddles my baby wants, it’s cuddles my baby gets. Scooch over, sweetheart. Daddy’s not goin’ anywhere tonight.”

[walkintrafficjam]

Brene Brown stuff idk

hey hey, I'm back. Recently, I was re-watching and reading stuff from Brene Brown. She is like famous for her conversation around the power of vulnerability. It was interesting as I never thought that the fear of vulnerability can connect with being a perfectionist. Anyhow, I have been trying to express gratitude to people more lately because of it. I guess expressing care and love is kinda vulnerable for me sometimes. But that's exactly why I did a little nice letter to the grads student to offset the time I bully them hehe.

On that topic of vulnerability tho, funny enough, I thought about deleting this blog page many times. Honestly, some of the stuff I write on here definitely feels kinda cringey. OR just a bit embarrassing... and dare I say it... VULNERABLE? But isn't that interesting? That a blog page that give people the closest access to my brain is the stuff I find cringey. Maybe, subconsciously I judge my thoughts a lot so I never discuss about these topics to people face to face in real life. However, I genuinely think everyone has these feelings or thoughts they don't want others to know, right?

Right... guys? Helloooooo? The feeling of shame kinda crazy. But I hope the blog can make others feel a bit better. Honestly that definitely outweigh the con of being cringe.

And I do agree with Brene Brown. That there is something beautiful and strong about someone being fully honest and vulnerable in world that judge us. I mean-- I probably judge others too at one time in point regrettably. I'm no more morally better. But that why it is so admirable when a person can express kindness and softness with such intensity and free of judgment for others. I have a coworker that told me not to bend my back to help others because they can easily stab you from behind and leave you to bleed out. And I just remember sitting there feeling sad for her. The harshness of the world has turn her cold and distant. I think of a Mistki's song where she sing, "You stay soft, get beaten. Only natural to harden up." People think kindness is due to weakness and naivete. Honestly, I disagree. To express kindness is harder than being mean and cold. It's so easy to be emotionally burn out and selfish. So much harder to trust despite no guarantee of safety.

I recently realize you can bond so much with someone if you're willing to reach out. Recently, I was on a project in which I felt like I didn't perform so well. Honestly, I did what I could within my ability but there was a lot of restriction with the tools I have. It was honestly emotionally debilitating to me. I barely could sleep. It was 3 AM and I was sweating as if I have night terrors. Feverish almost. I never felt so isolated. I decided to thug it out for the rest of my next working days. However, I slowly caved and started reaching out to other people in my field who I admired. It was more honestly an emergency panic than a strong deliberate act of vulnerability. But by doing that, I never felt so much respect and love from a community. Working in sound can feel very lonely. Only a few of us. Neither a lot of us on site. No one really understand how and why it can be difficult. I reached out to people who I thought was above my level. That probably doesn't even know I exist. Way to experienced to know someone on my skillset. Therefore, I was so surprised to know that they do know of me. One vouch for my work and the other offer to do a coffee talk! I connected on a level with them that I wouldn't think I could if I wasn't honest about the emotional crisis I was in. Super cool! Would totally do it again lol.

But yeah vulnerability isn't like an emotion. It's a skill. A practice. And you know what, I don't mind if people think my emotion can be a bit cringey. I think we all kinda cringey in our own ways. Also, I'm not like waterboarding any of you to read this ha. ha. ha.

On a side note, as I was watching clips of brene brown, her southern accent got heavier over the year and it like really throw me off.

[keanureevesisbae]

Every time you think you will catch up, a burst of inspiration flows through my fingers and I will speedy gonzales my way to a few more parts hehe. Also, this chapter has smut. YaAAAY - nothing assures me of a goodnight sleep than smut with Sy hihi

I want to be the little spoon while Sy is the big spoon and a human bra. I need to have my tiddies held 🥺

His southern accent was stronger when he was half-asleep like this.

I'd orgasm on the spot

Not the fear of throwing up 😂😂😭 bc same

A little more light would have been helpful, but this could work.

Honey, die boomstam that is his cock can be spotted in the dark.

It was a bit of a challenge to focus on Sy while also trying to remember those three Cosmo articles about blowjobs you’d read at some point in your life, so you gave up on that last part and used the sounds that Sy made as your guide.

This gives me horrendous flashbacks to those Hitkrant days, where there were asks like: I swallowed my bf's cum, am I pregnant now?

“They’re pretty, they’re soft, and they’re yours,” he replied, “that’s all the reasons I need.”

Not Sy being the head of the tiddie committee - i love this.

“Bullshit, you wanted to stop by to gossip.” You’d really hoped to get through that sentence with a straight face, but you couldn’t do it. “Were you waiting down the street for him to drive off?”

“No,” Jules said, “but I did know he had to leave for that client dinner around this time, and I had errands to run. Are you impressed with my scheduling skills, or what?”

Jules was totally waiting down the street - being subtle is not her forte and i love her for it

“I can count to one, I can’t count to zero. So yes, it’s a body count, now talk.”

you can't fight logic 🤷🏽‍♀️

OMG I LOVE THIS CHAPTER *SENDS YOU ALL THE WRITING FAIRIES YOU NEED TO FINISH THE UPCOMING CHAPTERSSSS*

Part 12

Masterlist

Part 11 🍂 Part 13 (coming soon)

Pairing: Syverson x ofc

Series summary: Life with Sy, what more can you wish for? The most amazing husband and father to a whole litter of cute little kids... Sometimes you wonder "how did you get here?"

Chapter warnings: SMUT. 18+. NSFW. MINORS DNI. Oral (m receiving), p-in-v sex. Woohoo!

Word count: 1.9k

A/N: Alright! @keanureevesisbae has done it again. I was just catching up, but now I owe her up until part 16!!! You can all be thankful! We've got some smutty stuff, we've got some girl talk, and we've got part 13 coming tomorrow if all goes well...

@deandoesthingstome @geralts-yenn @omgkatinka @summersong69 @diegos-butt @beck07990

Waking up like this was definitely something you could get used to. You didn’t open your eyes immediately, but laid there with them closed, taking some time to really feel the way you were swallowed up in Sy’s arms. He was the absolute literal definition of the big spoon, and your bodies seemed to be made to fit together like this. You chuckled softly when you felt Sy’s big hand securely holding onto – of course – your boob, and another laugh escaped when he pulled you closer. His body felt hard against yours. And when you said ‘body’, you meant all of it. The urge to throw your ass back against his hips was strong – and since it was early, you didn’t feel like putting in all that hard work trying to resist it… It didn’t take long for him to match your movements. You both moaned softly as his cock rubbed against your ass. Sy’s hand was no longer simply resting on your chest; your new activity had him eagerly exploring your skin, fingers lazily squeezing the parts of you that you suspected were his favorite.

“’S a nice way to wake a man up, Sugar.” His southern accent was stronger when he was half-asleep like this. It was cute. On a whim, you turned around in his arms, only to find Sy was actually still way more than half-asleep. A kiss on his lips didn’t wake him up. Neither did a kiss in his neck, or on his shoulder, or on his chest – you started to wonder how low you could go before he’d finally open his eyes… Only you didn’t dare to keep going, overcome by all the concerns that whirled around in your head. Would he even like it? What if you were really bad? Or you bit him? Or you’d throw up on him? Or… Nope, it wasn’t happening. Definitely the fuck not.

“Lost your nerve, baby?” Oh God, the fucking bastard was awake! For a moment, you looked at him angry, and you definitely considered yelling at him, but that wouldn’t be very nice. Besides, he looked far too good to be yelled at, and he also wasn’t wrong. Other than being right, he was also massively underestimating just how spiteful you could be.

You kissed his neck again, slowly and softly. When he swallowed hard, it made you laugh – maybe you could do to him what he did to you… Teasing him was easier than you had expected. All it took was a single finger, slowly traveling down his spine so lightly that you barely even touched him, and your teeth on his ear. The word ‘fuck’ had never sounded so good as when he said it the moment you wrapped your fingers around his cock. As far as they would go, anyway. You kissed down his neck and his chest, slowly, before stopping to look up at him.

“Want me to keep going?” Damn. Who was this woman, and why was she in your bed with your man? You had never felt so powerful as you did now. Sy was putty in your hands as you kissed your way down his stomach while softly stroking him, and no matter how much that boosted your confidence, you still felt safer hiding underneath the covers for your little experiment. He didn’t protest – in fact, you were fairly sure he had closed his eyes again. A little more light would have been helpful, but this could work. You settled in between his legs and took a nervous, shaky breath. It was Sy. Nothing bad was going to happen.

Hesitantly, you opened your mouth. Sy moaned as soon as your tongue touched his cock. That was a good sign, and it encouraged you to continue. The moans kept coming, and you gained more and more confidence. It was a bit of a challenge to focus on Sy while also trying to remember those three Cosmo articles about blowjobs you’d read at some point in your life, so you gave up on that last part and used the sounds that Sy made as your guide. It was easy, he was vocal – even more than he had been last night. A few minutes in, you were actually having fun with this, and listening to the noise that Sy made as you moved your mouth and hand over his cock was a serious contender for your new favorite pastime. One tiny problem; it was getting pretty hot under the covers. With your one free hand, you pushed them to the side a bit, still trying to hide, but Sy had other plans.

“Let me look at you, Sugar,” he said as he pulled the comforter to the side. Watching you made him even louder – by a lot – and you could tell he was still holding back.

“Fuck, baby, your mouth feels like a goddamn dream,” he groaned. You weren’t sure you were ever going to get used to him saying things like that. They made you feel giddy and shy, and at the same time they turned you on so much it was almost unbearable. Sy surprised you again after a while, this time by stopping you.

“C’mere, Sugar,” he said as he pulled you back up, effortlessly maneuvering you back into the position you’d been sleeping in. At first you were confused, but that was cleared up quickly enough when he reached between your legs.

“Fuck, that’s wet,” he muttered under his breath. You squirmed in his arms as he pushed two fingers into you with ease. When Sy reached for a condom, you tried to turn onto your back, but he wouldn’t let you. He kissed your neck and shoulders as he pushed into you from behind, making sure to use his free hand to give your boobs plenty of attention. It was slow and lazy and amazing. You laughed as Sy let out content moans while his hand explored every inch of your chest again, and again, and again.

“You really like my boobs, don’t you?” The question was completely redundant, which was probably why Sy laughed when you asked.

“Hell yeah, Sugar.” He said.

“Why?” It wasn’t as if they were anything special… Not to you, anyway.

“They’re pretty, they’re soft, and they’re yours,” he replied, “that’s all the reasons I need.”

“They’re just…” You didn’t get a chance to finish your sentence, because Sy interrupted you as soon as he got an idea of what you were trying to say. “Perfect.” He sounded dead serious.

“Sy, seriously, they’re…”

“Perfect.”

“Sy…”

“One more time, Sugar, and I’m gonna show ya just how much I love all of you.” Needless to say, you were very quick to disagree with him again, and he made good on his promise immediately. ‘Slow and lazy’ ended right there, but ‘amazing’ definitely didn’t.

The doorbell rang roughly five minutes after Sy had left your house. You’d spend the whole day together, most of it with you curled up in his arms on the couch, and it had been absolutely fantastic.

“Jules.” You said it without thinking, which would have been super awkward if you hadn’t been right. Of course it was Julie.

“I wanted to ask if you’d had dinner yet,” she asked nonchalantly.

“Bullshit, you wanted to stop by to gossip.” You’d really hoped to get through that sentence with a straight face, but you couldn’t do it. “Were you waiting down the street for him to drive off?”

“No,” Jules said, “but I did know he had to leave for that client dinner around this time, and I had errands to run. Are you impressed with my scheduling skills, or what?” You had to admit that it was at least a bit impressive – and, like, a lot excessive, but what else was new. Another thing you were used to from her by now was that she pulled a small bottle of red wine from her purse and helped herself to one of your wine glasses. She was nice enough to get you a cup of coffee. In your own damn house.

“So,” she said as she ushered you to the living room and invited you to sit on your own couch, “I take it you finally have a body count?”

“I mean… Is ‘one’ a body count?” Her eyes went wide with excitement while you said it, and you yourself couldn’t help but grin, either.

“I can count to one, I can’t count to zero. So yes, it’s a body count, now talk.” You stared at your hands nervously, not knowing where to begin, and stayed quiet. For the first time ever, you were waiting for Jules to start asking a million questions.

“Honey, are you okay?” Jules asked as she put a hand on your knee. “He didn’t hurt you, did he? I will kill him if he did.” In all honesty, Julietta McGregor was probably the only person you knew who might actually be able to pull that off – and with her bare hands, too.

“I’m fine, I just…” For a moment, you weren’t quite sure how to continue that sentence. “I miss him.” It was a weird thing to say. He hadn’t even been gone for half an hour.

“Oh, sweetie, of course you miss him!” Jules wrapped her arms around you. “I’m pretty sure he misses you, too!” She was right, of course, you already had a text from Sy to prove it. This whole ‘cloud nine’-feeling was nice, when it didn’t make you extremely insecure about everything…

Julie spent the next half hour or so asking you questions, and you gave her the run-down of last night and this morning in vague descriptions. She didn’t push for details, which you really appreciated. The two of you ordered pizza for dinner – there wasn’t really anything else you could order in this town, anyway – and watched stupid chick flicks on Netflix until you started to get tired.

“I’m kicking you out, Jules,” you said after you yawned. It was a part of Dutch straightforwardness – or ‘rudeness’ as she preferred to call it - Julie still wasn’t used to.

“One last thing,” she said before you could get up off the couch. She looked kind of nervous about what she was going to say. “You are cordially invited to help me move next week.” She didn’t neglect to add that you weren’t allowed to say no, because she’d helped you move, too. Not that you’d been planning on blowing her off, but still.

“What?” Your mouth fell open.

“Yeah, my lease is almost up and my roommates are driving me absolutely crazy… Patrick suggested I move in with him and I said yes. So we’re moving me out of my apartment in a week!”

“Is Sy moving into your place?” you asked. Jules shook her head. She was clearly annoyed by something, and from the look on her face you could tell she was about to tell you exactly what that something was.

“Roommate wants to move his girlfriend in, so that’s not possible.”

“I thought your landlord wouldn’t let unmarried couples live together under his roof…” You laughed, even though it wasn’t exactly funny.

“He won’t, that’s why they need my room.” Jules replied before she let out a sigh. “God, I hope Sy finds a place soon, because I can’t stand another month of having to fuck quietly in my own damn house.”

“Sorry, Jules,” you said as you tried to stop laughing, “I’m sure I can take him off your hands a couple nights!”

“I sure hope so, last night was cathartic.”

“Jules!”   

[buckyseddie]

hair

pairings — jasper hale x fem!reader

summary — in which, she has a thing for jasper’s hair and he finds out about it and teases her for it.

word count — 1.6k.

warnings — teasing!jasper, embarrassed/sensitive!reader, fluff, use of pet-names [darlin’, babe, sweetheart, ma’am].

notes — this was requested and i’ve been wanting to write an fic about jasper for awhile now, so i’m really excited about this imagine, hehe! gif and divider creds to owner!

p.s., feedback is very much encouraged and appreciated <3.

main masterlist

IT HAD STARTED OFF AS an innocent question.

jasper and [y/n] were laying in her bed, on a late saturday afternoon.

it was one of those rare weekends where nothing was going on that demanded the blonde vampire’s immediate attention or where [y/n] didn’t have a pile of homework to work on through the whole weekend.

throughout the past few weeks, there hadn’t been any free time for them to hang out or to go on any dates.

jasper had been dealing with the few supernatural issues — the ones that had ensued pretty quickly — with his family.

and usually, when the two would hang out, [y/n] would still have homework to do.

but, jasper usually would have time for her, so when she’d have homework, he’d help her with it.

he’d also make her food, since she’d always have the habit of forgetting about staying hydrated and eating snacks.

but, this saturday, in some miracle, jasper didn’t have to worry about dealing with anything with his family and [y/n] shockingly didn’t have any new homework assigned for the weekend.

jasper had come over late the night before, just really missing his girlfriend and decided to spend the night with her.

so, the next morning, they’d decided that they’d just have a lazy day.

that’s what they’re doing as of now.

they were cuddling; jasper, holding her in his arms and [y/n], wearing a soft look in her eyes as she plays with his naturally curly hair.

and then, a random thought begins to draw jasper’s attention. the question racks at his mind, not being able to shake it off.

his curiosity starts to become so distracting that even [y/n] pauses her actions and pulls away from his embrace.

she leans her head on one of the pillows, looking up at him with curious eyes as he looks down at her, brows furrowing.

“jas? what’s up?” the girl asks, starting to sit up, directing all of her attention to her boyfriend.

he looks up at her, cocking his to the side, confusion taking over his features as he starts to sense her worry and confusion.

she notices his expression of confusion and sighs.

“i mean, you look like you’ve got something on your mind.” she states, raising her brows in question.

his mouth shapes into an ‘o’ shape, before he nods in acknowledgement.

without another thought, he decides to just blurt out his question, rather than beat around the bush about it, “what was the one thing that attracted you to me, when we first met?” he asks curiously, his southern accent evident in his tone.

[y/n]’s [y/e/c] eyes go wide in shock, before a red tint colors her cheeks in embarrassment.

out of all the questions he could’ve asked, he asks this one.

“um…” she sputters, trailing off as she looks away from her boyfriend, who looks at her curiously.

her cheeks flush redder, if that’s even possible.

“darlin’,” he says, chuckling as she refuses to look up at him. “what’s got you so embarrassed?” the blonde vampire asks, turning her towards him by turning her cheek with his pointer finger.

“babeeee… it’s embarrassing. can’t we talk about anything else?” she mumbles, moving to bury her face in his chest, too embarrassed to face him.

“c’mon. it can’t be that bad. just tell me.” he murmurs, rubbing little soothing circles on her back.

sighing, she realizes that he’s going to be persistent with the question until she answers him.

“you promise that you won’t laugh?” she asks in a child-like voice as she pulls away from his chest, playing with the collar of his shirt, instead of looking up at her boyfriend.

jasper chuckles again, grabbing a strand of her [y/h/c] hair and playing with it.

“sweetheart, i promise, i’ll try not to laugh.” he murmurs seriously, before looking back at her as he lets the strand of hair fall back onto her shoulder.

“it was your hair.” she says in barely a whisper, still thinking that her vampire boyfriend is going to laugh at her.

“what?” he asks, wondering if he misheard her.

“it was your hair.” she grumbles, still looking down as she pulls her fingers away from his shirt.

a small sound, like a wheezy laugh, leaves his lips.

at this, [y/n] snaps her head up in his direction, glaring daggers at him.

this causes him to snap his mouth shut, a glint of amusement in his eyes.

“you said you weren’t going to laugh.” she grumbles, cheeks red as a tomato as she shoves him lightly.

“i—i’m sorry, darlin’. i just—w—why my hair?” he stutters in between laughs.

she sighs, refusing to look up at her boyfriend, completely humiliated that this conversation has gone from normal to humiliating.

she groans as he lifts her chin up, forcing her to look him in the eye.

“sweetheart, i promise, i won’t laugh anymore. just tell me, please.” he states seriously, gaining a little bit of her trust.

“it’s stupid. but, the first day i saw you at school, i saw your eyes, which drew me in. but… then, i saw your hair; it was hanging just above your shoulders, and i don’t know what came over me, but i caught myself wondering what it’d be like to run my fingers through your it. and i’d found myself thinking like that, on countless, different occasions.” the now flustered and nervous girl admits, taking the blonde vampire’s hand from her chin and placing it in her lap.

she begins to fidget with them, before looking up, upon not hearing a response.

as she does so, jasper struggles with not trying to laugh.

but, eventually his mouth uncontrollably opens as the laughs escape, chest rumbling, only finding amusement in the situation.

he continues to laugh, failing to notice the very sensitive teenage girl’s eyes clouding up with tears.

of course, the two usually had inside jokes and teased one another, but this was different.

she felt as if he were making fun of her, over something that she was taking the time out of her day to tell him about — just to answer his question that she didn’t even want to answer in the first place.

a trembling breath leaves her lips, catching her boyfriend’s attention, as she starts to get up.

once she’s standing at the edge of the bed and is turned away from him, she rushes to the bathroom.

“y—you’re mean…” she chokes out in a sob, walking inside.

“sweetheart—” he starts, getting up very quickly, after hearing her tone of voice.

but, he’s interrupted when she slams the door shut.

she slides down the door, locked away in the darkness as the hot tears start to stream down her cheeks.

she tries to tell herself that she’s overreacting, that jasper has nothing to be at fault for.

but, that just makes more tears escape.

she’s interrupted from her thoughts as jasper calls out from behind the other side of the door, “darlin’, i’m sorry. why don’t you come out for a second, so we can talk about this?” his voice is filled with regret and guilt.

after hearing the anguish in his voice, she instantly becomes guilty.

and after a few seconds, jasper sighs, starting to think that she’s not going to come out, as he internally yells at himself for making her cry.

i mean, he may have laughed about it, but he was going to try and lighten the mood and convince her that she had nothing to be embarrassed about.

but, just as the blonde vampire stands up, preparing to walk back to the bed, he hears the door knob of the bathroom twist, before [y/n] slowly pulls open the door.

he snaps his head up, worry and guilt evident on his features as she slowly emerges from the darkness of the room, dried up tears on her cheeks and her cheeks redder than ever.

he stays frozen, not sure of what he could say to make up for making her feel so bad.

he opens his mouth, as if he’d found the right words, but before he can even speak, she rushes to him and presses her head into his chest, arms wrapping around his torso.

“i’m sorry, jas. i o—overreacted and i didn’t mean to make you feel so guilty.” she mumbles, the tears welling up in her eyes again.

this is the moment where he starts to notice the guilt and regret radiating off of her.

“you’ve got nothin’ to apologize for. i was goin’ to try to lighten the mood with a few jokes, but i’m now realizin’ that i didn’t work fast enough.” he murmurs, his accent becoming evident in his small tone.

she pulls away, sighing, as she lifts up her hands to her cheeks to wipe away the remaining tears on her cheeks.

“babe, you don’t need to apologize. i know you’d never make fun of me on purpose. but, sometimes i just get too sensitive about certain things. i’m sorry.” she mumbles, feeling embarrassed for acting the way that she did.

he shakes his head as he grabs her hands and presses them to his lips.

“sweetheart, it’s quite alright. you are allowed to get upset over things. i love you so much and i hope you know that i’d never make fun of you like that.” he murmurs against her knuckles, which brings her to let out a few giggles — giggles that absolutely warms his heart.

“i know, jas. and i love you too. how about we just forget this misunderstanding happened and we go back to cuddling?” she murmurs, after she stops giggling.

he nods, a smile tugging at his lips.

“yes, ma’am.” he says in his accent, causing the girl to bite her lip, in order to hide her smile as butterflies flutter in her stomach.

after that day, he’d tease her about his hair — it didn’t bother her, because she’d realized that he wasn’t holding it against her.

it had quickly become one of their inside jokes and he loved that his hair had become her biggest weakness — especially when it came in handy sometimes.

[lokitoright]

Galway Day with Tom Hiddleston// Part:2

A/N:This is part 2 (obviously hehe) and I am very bad at Tumblr, but I will try to put a link for part one here:

Pairing: Tom Hiddleston x Reader

Warnings: Fluff...pure fluff just eatin breakfast with Tom. UwU

Summary: You and Tom have been best friends for years. The two of you decide to have an adventure in Galway. A simple yet lovely day. This one perfect day could lead to a romance that destroys years of friendship, or unites true soulmates.

//

You arrive at the Galway city centre after a 10 minute walk. It’s livelier at night with the pubs and dancing, but the quiet morning is so still and lovely. Tom is walking beside you, and together you stroll down the cobblestone streets looking up at the summer bunting strung overhead. You walk past a few small shops opening and Tom stops at a cafe and swings open the wooden door gesturing you in. He helps you slide your coat off, then you help him with his. As you slide the sleeves down over his biceps, feeling his warm sweater, the feeling comes back. The blushing hits your face and your brain jumps right back to how soft and roomy his sweater was last night. You recall the incident this morning and try your hardest to distract your mind.

“Where shall we sit?” you ask

Tom scans the open tables. 

“There?” he nods toward the two top window seat

“Perfect” you say. He’s so thoughtful. He knows you love sitting near a window. You both love to people watch and create commentary for what you think they’re saying. 

“She is absolutely RANTING at him” Tom chuckles at the couple standing out in the courtyard. They’re holding out a map together and look to be in an argument. So you begin commentary.

“Jonathan! We are lost!” you fill in for her voice in an awful British accent.

“We are most certainly not Clarice!” Tom lowers his accent to a posh older english man

“I told you we should have taken a holiday to Greece instead! If we were lost there at least I could go out to the beach!” you say as Clarice.

“Well Clarice! Why don’t you go find a husband with the money to go to Greece!” Tom fills in for Jonathan.

You both break into laughter and a waitress comes over and interrupts the people watching.

“Good mornin’ loves! Here’s some tea for starters” she sets down two mugs and a black cast iron pot steaming with Irish Breakfast tea. 

“What’ll it be for breakfast, then?” she has a soft southern Ireland accent. 

“The full Irish breakfast for me please!” you say in excitement and hunger.

“Same for me” Tom says with a nod.

“Two classics comin right up” she tuck her pen in her apron and walks to the kitchen.

“Tea?” you say as you pour into the two mugs

“I suppose, even though it’s no English Breakfast blend” Tom says pretending to be all posh. 

You hand him his cup and his fingers brush against yours. Have you just now noticed how warm his hands are? You’ve been friends forever, but never realized how big and warm his hands are. They connect to his firm forearms where he has slightly pushed up his sweater sleeves. That sweater, gosh. NO! You’re doing it again.

“Umm, you alright?” his voice beckons you out of your trance and you realize you’ve been pouring your tea until the cup is just starting to overflow.

“Oh gosh” you grab your napkin off your lap and dab up the tea as the embarrassment rises red in your cheeks.

“Everything okay?” Tom asks as he helps mop up the tea with his napkin.

“Yeah yeah!” you blurt out in a knee jerk reaction “I’m just uh...it’s umm..it’s” your phone goes off and it’s Abbigail calling. Thank God.

“Hey!” you answer the phone and gesture to Tom that you’re going to step outside to take the call.

“Hey girl” she says “so huge bummer, Wren and I are super hungover and we’ve been getting sick all morning. Is it okay if we don’t join you today?”

“Aw no Abb I’m so sorry! I uhh...I was really hoping you guys were coming though”

“I know we just wouldn’t be much fun. You and Tom can still have a blast though!”

“Yeah” I say tensely “Abb, this morning has been weird with him”

“What do you mean?”

You tell her about what happened and how you’ve started to feel attracted to your best guy friend to the point you’re pouring tea over your lap as you drool over his hands.

“Oh babe” Abby says in a sigh “well it’s okay. I mean have you seen friends they all liked each other at one point or another and they’re fine.”

“Abb that’s TV”

“Whatever, my point is it’s not a big deal. Just don’t make things weird. Remember, he’s just Tom, your chum and it’s all good.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” you glance back inside and see the food has come “Listen babe, the food just came I gotta go, but you and Wren feel better”

“Okay thank you! Bye! And have fun today, don’t overthink anything!” She says and hangs up.

You walk back in and sit down.

“Sorry, Abby said she and Wren are too hungover to come to the cliffs”

“Well that’s alright. We know how to have fun without them.” he says chipper.

“Yeah, haha” you say back and begin to butter a piece of toast.

We know how to have fun? What kind of fun does he mean? Is he talking about this morning? Being naked? Fun? HAHA no. Well? Stop. Don’t overthink it’s fine. Why do I care so much? It’s just Tom, CHILL.

“You alright?” he says, yet again snapping you out of your mind chat

“Yeah why?”

“Well, you’ve almost buttered that toast to death”

You look down and the bread is crumbling in the palm of your sweaty hand.

“Yeah I, uh, I really like Irish butter”

“Irish...Butter...” Tom says with raised eyebrow seeing straight through you.

“Yeah it’s just so warm...and it glistens in the sunlight...and I just...I...I’m starving” you finally cut the tension of him noticing something is up.

Tom laughs and reached for the butter knife.

“Well then, let me have some of this majestic Irish Butter” he says in a seductive tone.

You laugh with relief and bite into your toast.

 The two of you eat breakfast and sip tea for the next hour. You carry on people watching and laughing as best friends do. Tom pays for breakfast, totally normal, not a date, just friends, you think to yourself and try not to overthink, but as he helps you put your jacket on you once more are reminded how big and kind his hands are. He slides the shoulders up and gives your arms a squeeze with his warm hands. He’s reaches around from behind you to open the door and gently guides you out, hand on the small of your back as you walk under his other arm holding the door open. What a gentleman, you say in your head. 

And your heart begins to race as the two of you take off toward the cliffs.

-

Part 3 coming soon! <3

My last one got 20 notes woohoo that’s so exciting for me I didn’t think anyone would read it!

[ofreese]

[  katie  douglas,  cis  female,  twenty  one  ]  it  looks  like  REESE  DUPREE  is  late  to  class  once  again.  how  do  they  expect  to  get  their  degree  in  ANIMAL  BIOLOGY  by  skipping  class  ?  it’s  a  wonder  that  they  made  it  to  their  JUNIOR  year.  then  again,  i  heard  that  they  were  HONEST  which  may  give  them  a  pass  with  professors,  but  they  are  also  SINGLEMINDED  so  maybe  not.  all  i  know  is  that  they  remind  me  of  CRAMPED  NOTES  FROM  EARLY  MORNING  LABS,  A  LIT  JOINT  UNDERNEATH  THE  STARS,  FLANNEL  SHIRTS  NEARLY  WORN  THROUGH  AT  THE  ELBOWS.  so  watch  out.  oh  look,  SHE  just  walked  in  !

first  off  reese  is  uhhhhh  a  BIG  fuckin  nerd

hails  from  alabama  so  she  has  a  slight  southern  accent

oldest  of  two  girls  (  you  might  know  her  younger  sister,  avery  )

ever  since  she  was  little,  reese  kinda  did  her  own  thing  ?  she  was  a  bit  of  a  handful  as  a  child.  she  was  a  super  picky  eater  and  refused  to  eat  most  the  food  her  parents  made.  she  also  refused  to  wear  a  lot  of  clothes  they  bought  her.  she  didn’t  like  hugs  and  didn’t  like  making  eye  contact,  and  she  was  rather  mature  for  her  age  instead  of  the  cutesy  little  girl  her  parents  obviously  wanted.  

so  eventually  her  parents  just  kinda  gave  up  and  let  her  do  her  own  thing,  preferring  to  focus  more  on  her  younger  sister.  from  a  young  age  reese  has  been  making  her  own  food  and  doing  her  own  thing  and  taking  care  of  herself,  just  cause  that’s  the  way  she  prefers  it.

starting  school  she  had  a  bit  of  trouble  because  she  wasn’t  super  social.  she  also  had  issues  with  school  itself  –  though  she  excelled  with  some  teachers  in  some  subjects,  other  teachers  complained  she  wasn’t  paying  attention,  or  she  wasn’t  applying  herself.

eventually  the  issues  worked  themselves  out.  reese  began  to  make  a  group  of  friends,  and  her  grades  stabilized  and  then  rose.  she  was  quiet  in  class,  polite,  well-behaved,  if  a  little  socially  anxious.  even  still,  she  managed  to  hold  on  to  a  small  group  of  friends  relatively  well.

and  then  reese  went  to  university,  where  she  lived  in  a  dorm  and  had  classes  and  meals  with  hundreds  of  strangers.  it  was  totally  overwhelming  for  her  and  she  kind  of  shut  down.  she  spent  all  day  in  her  dark  dorm,  and  she  missed  classes  and  meals.  at  one  point,  she  was  seriously  considering  dropping  out.

that’s  when  she  was  finally  diagnosed  with  asd  (  autism  spectrum  disorder  )  at  19  years  old.  thankfully  this  let  her  get  the  supports  she  needed  to  succeed  and  she  managed  to  pull  her  grades  up  enough  move  on  to  her  second  year,  despite  being  on  academic  probation  due  to  low  grades.

she  sees  a  school  counsellor  regularly  to  help  her  stay  on  top  of  executive  function  tasks,  such  as  organization  and  time  management

she  also  takes  tests  and  exams  separately  &  gets  extra  time  because  she  often  experiences  sensory  overload  in  testing  situations  (  when  people  are  sniffing  or  coughing,  or  the  scratching  of  pencils  on  paper,  chairs  scooting  on  the  ground,  etc  )

amazingly  she  managed  to  get  a  position  at  a  lab  in  the  entomology  department  for  her  second  year  !  she’s  in  animal  biology  but  she  specifically  wants  to  be  an  entomologist  –  someone  who  studies  insects.  she’s  been  interested  in  bugs  ever  since  she  was  little  (  and  probably  briefly  had  an  ant  farm  as  a  kid  ).  but  being  on  the  spectrum,  she  learned  to  mimic  the  social  behaviour  of  her  peers,  and  not  many  girls  really  like  bugs  very  much.  so  she  learned  to  mask  that  interest  for  much  of  her  childhood.

but  anyway  yeah  she  works  in  a  lab  with  termites  and  loves  it  ehehehe.  like  i  said,  big  nerd

after  undergrad,  she  wants  to  go  to  grad  school  and  then  move  to  live  in  the  british  columbia  forests  and  study  pine  beetles

fuckin  nerd

a  lot  of  people  have  remarked  she  doesn’t  “seem”  autistic,  and  that’s  honestly  because  she’s  learned  to  pick  up  social  cues  from  others  and  mimic  what  they’re  doing,  especially  if  she  doesn’t  know  them  well  enough  to  be  herself  around  them.  ‘masking’  her  nature  like  this  can  be  pretty  tiring,  so  she  needs  a  lot  of  alone  time  to  rejuvenate  herself.  it’s  easier  when  it’s  one  on  one  or  with  people  she’s  more  comfortable  with

she  does  enjoy  socializing,  it’s  just  that  social  cues  don’t  come  naturally  to  her

probably  doesn’t  go  to  major  social  events  like  parties  very  often

smokes  weed  fairly  regularly  because  it  helps  relieve  a  lot  of  the  emotional  pressure  and  exhaustion  she  experiences  day  to  day

what  else  to  say  ?  she’s  still  very  independent  and  likes  doing  most  things  herself,  when  she  can.  fairly  quiet.  very  smart.  hates  lying  and  isn’t  very  good  at  it,  so  she  very  rarely  lies.

some  other  random  stuff:  

her  family’s  like  p  rich  but  she’s  still  getting  paid  for  her  lab  work

not  great  at  small  talk

wears  loose  flannels  90%  of  the  time  because  she  likes  the  feel  of  them

catch  her  chewing  on  her  pencils  or  clicking  her  pen  when  she’s  focusing

has  an  extreme  irrational  phobia  of  vomiting

bisexual  babe

has  headphones  in  listening  to  music  or  white  noise  like  75%  of  the  time

like  ...  so  smol  omg.  katie  douglas  is  5′1″ so  i’m  just  gonna  say  reese  is  5′1″  too.

she  played  sims  2  like  all  the  time  when  she  was  younger

she  has  heard  all  your  reese’s  pieces  jokes  already,  i  promise

has  a  water  bottle  made  from  recycled  metal  she  always  carries  with  her  

ok  i  gotta  go  to  dinner  now  but  pls  give  me  all  the  plots  …  friends,  ex-friends,  will-they-won’t-they,  lab  partners,  etc  etc  !  i’ll  probably  write  up  a  smol  wanted  connections  post  later  but  for  now  have  this  too-long  intro  hehe

[porkchop-ao3]

Charlie Foxtrot: Part 1/7

I have been working on this for WEEKS, it was initially going to be a one shot smut fic, but Tailor Rick had other ideas and made it all about him, so. This is rather a long fic, I’ve split it into 7 parts, but I worked really hard on this and I poured so much into it, I really hope someone will read this and enjoy it. It’s quite angsty, but I think it reveals a lot about Tailor’s character, and I’m proud of it. This is probably my favourite thing I’ve written. 

This is a fic involving Tailor (obviously) and one of the SEAL team Ricks; the bald one with the beard. It contains sex, but it’s not wildly descriptive like my usual smut, the focus is more on how their relationship changes over time. Thank you to @hoodoo12 for reading this and helping me out at multiple stages through this story!

I enjoyed characterising the SEAL team Rick, I haven’t seen him written about much so I had fun with it. A few headcanons formed as I was writing him, one of them being a certain accent, hehe. This fic is linked in with my usual OC universe, and the ‘reader’ from those fics, i.e. Tailor’s assistant, makes an appearance. As does Hairstylist Rick, one of Tailor’s special friends. I sincerely hope you enjoy this! 

-

Queuing up at a coffee shop was not something Tailor did often. His assistant would normally do it for him, though she was spending a weekend with her boyfriend. This had already put him in a bad mood, but to make matters worse the coffee shop just happened to be at the Citadel, of all places. Though Tailor usually vowed never to consume anything produced at the Citadel, he was sure he would die without a coffee, and so there he was, standing with arms crossed as he waited to be served.

The hipster looking Rick working behind the counter finally turned to serve him. He wore his hair in a man-bun and had a rather impressive beard, and under the apron he was wearing Tailor could see one heck of a garishly patterned shirt. The barista stared at him for a moment expectantly, and Tailor tutted when he didn't get the polite greeting he had been waiting for.

“Good afternoon,” he said with a bite to his tone. “One black coffee please. W-with two shots of espresso and three sugars. Please.”

“Sugar's over there, you help yourself. What's your dimension code?” the barista replied, his expression not changing once. Tailor told him then the barista held his hand out to him. “Fifteen schmeckles.”

Tailor narrowed his eyes but handed him the money anyway. He was then ushered over to the side where other Ricks were waiting for their orders. Tailor put some distance between him and the others, not wanting to make eye contact and get stuck talking to one of them, heaven forbid. Not that Ricks were the most conversational of people, but there was a smiley looking guy with a lazy eye and a bowl cut looking his way and Tailor did not want to encourage him. He stood there with his eyes planted firmly on the Rick behind the counter preparing drinks. He liked to keep an eye on the people preparing his food, when given the chance.

It was a couple of minutes before he finally got his order and he marched over and took it from the barista. He shuffled over to where the sugar and napkins were and set to work stirring in three sachets of sugar one by one. He stared down into it and sighed as he watched the sugar dissolve. It'd been a long morning and he had been running on one cup of coffee. That was not good. He'd been at the Council of Ricks’ offices to discuss new robes. He'd been desperate to redesign their uniforms for years and was finally given the opportunity. It was bittersweet, however, the head of the Council, Riq IV, could be a bit of a dick and Tailor couldn't quite work out if they'd get along or not.

Tailor picked up his drink and turned around as he started closing the lid on it. He didn't even notice the body that was standing directly behind him, and walked straight into it. His instinct was to apologise and move on, he wasn't one for confrontation. That was until he registered the heat spreading across his chest, which he soon realised was his coffee. His fresh, black coffee. Black coffee. On his suit. His white shirt. His baby pink suit jacket. Baby pink. Black coffee. His jacket... Thousands of pounds worth of jacket... Black coffee.

“What on earth are you doing, you bloody idiot!? Don't you see me standing here? Why are you standing so fucking close? Get the fuck away from me, haven't you ever heard of personal space?! Look at me! Look at my fucking suit! Do you have any idea how much this costs you thick skulled, absolute bloody wanker!?” Words just erupted from him without control. He could sense everyone around him staring but all he could focus on was the dark stain all over his front. He was livid. It was beginning to hurt, the heat from the coffee, but he didn't care.

“Uhh–” the other Rick started.

“Look! Th-tha-that's never going to come out! I hope you have your fucking wallet with you because otherwise we're going to–” Tailor finally looked up at the man he was yelling at, and stalled. “We're going to- um, you'll- we'll have…” he mumbled, his eyes glazing over as he took in the solid wall of muscle at eye level, the dog tags hanging around his neck, then the stern expression of the bald headed Rick he'd just lost his shit at. He seemed to be a military Rick. Of course, who else would Tailor have just called a thick skulled, absolute bloody wanker?

The Rick quirked a brow at him, waiting patiently for him to continue. Tailor cleared his throat, turned and tossed the remainder of his coffee in the bin behind him, and then arranged his face into a more composed expression.

“It doesn't matter,” he said, his voice smaller than before. He forced the next words from his lips despite it going against every fiber of his being. “It's just a suit.”

The bald, ripped Rick gave Tailor an odd look, sizing him up and analysing him. He had a large yet well groomed beard – no moustache – and numerous piercings. There was a plug stretching each earlobe and a stud above his top lip; Tailor would've turned his nose up if he wasn't worried about pissing him off any more. He squirmed under the attention, wanting nothing else but to run away from the situation and hightail it back home. That wasn't going to happen, it seemed. The Rick wasn't moving out of his way.

Feeling a need to fill the silence, Tailor spoke. “I apologise for my language. I didn't mean to cause offense.”

The other Rick frowned for a few moments, and Tailor felt his pulse pounding in his skull, almost giving him a headache. Suddenly, however, Rick smiled, then chuckled.

“I've heard worse, and from more intimidating folk, too,” he finally spoke, his voice not at all like Tailor had expected. He had a southern drawl, softer around the edges than he'd come to expect from most Ricks. It was still deep and a little gravelly, but he sounded… friendly? Friendly and extremely kind on the ears. “I'm sorry about th-that suit of yours. What d’ I owe you?”

He was reaching into his pocket for his wallet, and Tailor could do no more than stare. He was half expecting a swift punch to the face considering how he'd yelled at him just moments ago, and he was just stunned he still had all his teeth. He was also stunned at how opening his mouth had made him about twice as attractive.

“Um, that's quite alright. N-not to worry. I know a lady who- maybe she can get the stain out.”

“I don't know, black coffee sure is a son of a bitch,” Rick frowned, looking down at the stain on Tailor's shirt.

He didn't seem to mind about the splatter up his own front, but he was just wearing an off white wife beater. One that showed off just how thick his arms were, how toned his muscles were. He saw the edges of tattoos peeking out from over his shoulders; they must've covered his back. Tailor swallowed hard and averted his eyes.

“I don't want your money. It's fine,” he murmured, adjusting his tie, as if that was going to do something to make him look better.

“At least let me take you back to mine, get you out of that suit.”

“I'm sorry?” Tailor balked, his face immediately heating up, his eyes watering at the sudden pressure of the blood rushing to his head.

Rick smirked, clearly amused.

“I've got some detergent back at my place, su-supposed to be real good. If we get that shirt and jacket washed fast we might be able to save it.”

“Oh! Oh right. Of course. Yes, that's probably for the best.” Tailor nodded, instantly regretting his reply. He'd been so relieved to have his lewd misunderstanding cleared up that he hadn't really been concentrating on his own response. But there was no going back now.

“It's just up the street from here. Two minute walk!” Rick smiled, a lopsided kind of smile that was incredibly endearing. Tailor winced.

“Actually, I–” his sentence fell short and he sighed. Rick had already turned and was heading for the door, Tailor had no choice but to just follow.

Rick's home really was just a short walk away in an apartment block. It was pretty average, Tailor thought, and he noticed quickly that the place was lived in. It wasn't a complete pigsty, but it was far from neat and tidy. Tailor started to wonder what he was getting himself into, but he found himself just rolling with it. He agreed when Rick offered to make him a cup of coffee, he wasn't a huge fan of that instant stuff but he wouldn't complain, he still needed some. He took a seat at the kitchen table as he waited, brushing away a collection of crumbs from in front of him.

“You wanna take off that shirt and jacket? I can- I'll toss it in the wash.”

“Oh, yes, b-but it must be a gentle cycle,” Tailor warned, slipping off his jacket. He cleared the pockets of their items, leaving them on the table.

“Gentle?”

“Yes. Perhaps you have a delicates setting?” Tailor questioned, handing the jacket off to him. He was looking back at him with a blank expression and Tailor held back a sigh. “Don't worry. Whatever you usually put it on will be fine, I suppose.”

“You wanna borrow a shirt or something?” Rick asked, looking down at Tailor's shirt again.

Tailor hadn't really thought about taking his shirt off in front of this guy until now, and he was suddenly very nervous. Why on earth had he accepted this damn invitation?

“Um… yes. I suppose I should. Thank you,” he finally replied after a pause that was far too long.

Rick nodded and left the room for a while. Tailor groaned quietly, brushing his hand backwards through his hair to tame non existent flyaways, then he loosened his floral tie. He unbuttoned his shirt and was shrugging it off just as Rick returned.

“I tried to find somethin’ that might be to your taste,” he said, holding out a button up shirt to him.

The thing was creased up to hell. It looked like it'd been sat at the bottom of a drawer for God knows how long, but Tailor appreciated the effort. He swapped with him, and dressed in the borrowed shirt. It swamped him, given Rick was a lot more bulky than Tailor, and he found himself heating up in the face again.

He felt like some chick dressing up in her boyfriend's dress shirts. He'd never worn anything so ill fitting.

After starting up the washing machine, Rick placed a cup of coffee down in front of Tailor as he finished up buttoning his shirt; he left the top few buttons open, his own tie hanging loose around his neck. It smelled musky and faintly of cigarettes, it didn't seem to have been worn for a while, and Tailor wondered if it’d even been washed since the last time Rick had worn it. Oddly enough, the thought stirred something in him and he crossed one leg over the other, clearing his throat as he took a sip of his drink to distract himself. He burned his tongue, but didn't react.

“How's the coffee?” Rick asked him, looking at the spot where Tailor was resting the mug against his lip, blowing into it to help cool it.

“It’s fine, thank you. Coffee's coffee,” he said. “It's perhaps the one thing I'm not particularly picky about.”

“Huh? Is that so?” he replied, and Tailor caught the beginnings of a smirk as he lifted his own cup.

Tailor raised a brow, ready to question him, but decided to change the subject.

“You're in the military,” he stated. He'd noticed a few things laying around the apartment, photographs of him in uniform, with other Ricks in matching clothes. The dog tags around his neck were a giveaway too.

“SEAL team.” Rick replied. There was nothing arrogant about the way he said it, Tailor was surprised at how matter-of-fact he was.

“Well, then I feel as though I owe you an apology,” Tailor forced himself to say, lifting his head, holding his chin high.

Rick frowned. “What for?”

“For lashing out at you, calling you a thick skulled wanker, and so on.”

“You already apologised for that,” Rick pointed out, cupping his hands around the mug of coffee.

“Yes, well, I wanted to make sure there were no hard feelings.”

“Sir, I invited you into my home, washed your clothes and gave you some of my coffee. Does it look like there's hard feelings? Don't worry about it. Water off a duck’s back.”

“I meant no disrespect, if I'd have known who you were I'd never have dreamed about speaking to you in such a way,” Tailor admitted, avoiding eye contact. His face felt awfully hot.

“B-but if I was just some other Rick, some barista or store assistant, you'd have stood by it all?” Rick snorted, cocking a brow and smirking.

“Of course,” Tailor said, taking a sip of coffee. Rick chuckled, shaking his head.

“Fair enough. So what do you do with yourself? You look pretty fancy in that suit, must be doing well.” He jabbed a thumb in the direction of the washing machine.

“That suit is one of mine. I mean, I made it. I-I-I'm a tailor, a dressmaker, a designer.”

“Oh! I ain't seen you around the Citadel before.”

“That's because I don't work here. I was just meeting with the Council today, I'm working on some designs for them,” Tailor said nonchalantly, not even noticing the way the other Rick's eyes widened.

“You work for the damn Council? Holy shit, you are doing well.”

“The Council? I suppose it's a pretty high profile job. Though, I've worked for royalty back in my home dimension, so it's rather a step down.”

“You design the crown jewels or something?” Rick snorted. “I've never really heard of a British Rick. I know they're out there but you're the first I've met.”

“And you're the first Rick I've met with that lovely southern drawl,” Tailor replied, his tone lowering into a flirtatious one unintentionally. The other Rick blinked at him, his expression unchanging. Tailor quickly moved on, dropping his gaze to the mug. “I've made multiple dresses for her majesty the Queen, wonderful lady, absolute pleasure to work for. I've worked on suits for Prince Harry and William. Their wives have both worn dresses by me. Actually, I've been told to expect a call about a special commission for the Duchess of Cambridge.”

“Wow. You're a real hot shot, huh?”

“Well, I've worked hard to make a name for myself.”

“I believe that,” Rick nodded, his gaze lingering on Tailor for a few moments before he looked away. The two fell into silence for a while as they drank their coffee.

TBC...

[estuarries]

baby’s first liveshow commentary

hello lads i have decided to attempt doing @nihilist-toothpaste​ inspired video commentary/write up/review thingies!!!! welcome to ramble-y fun time

phil’s liveshow on august 10, 2017

his smile in the first minute makes my heart so happy i love him so much

i love the eye-tongue-eye emoji stop being mean to it

he’s a bit late bc he just finished filming a new ap vid!!! it took him longer than he thought it would to finish filming bc he was rambling. this is a #relatable brain thing

“i just said goodbye and now i’m saying hello again!” wrt filing and then doing a liveshow makes me rly happy bc i wouldn’t have thought abt it that way. i love phil’s brain

new vid clues: paper bag(?) and bubble wrap. amazingphil asmr part ii??

dan’s not joining the liveshow bc he has a headache but phil’s gonna hop into dan’s next one

closed eyes and happy gesticulation whilst telling sleepy-morning “unexpected window cleaning man frightened me” story

phil’s fight/flight/freeze response is freeze

“imagine if i had decided to make breakfast naked! ...if i was that kind of person…” its okay m8 we know u like to make nakey bro brunches w danyul

are the emoji pants the only pair of graphic pj pants he has now ??? why are they being featured so prominently lately ???? phil IS an emoji is the only phnnie conspiracy i can support now

in the ap vid phil did SCIENCE and REACTED TO THINGS (chemistry . reaction . hehe :3)

he’s out of tv shows to watch ….he and dan have watched so many series together over the years ..... i am emotional

phil hasnt watched in a heartbeat EITHER !! BLASPHEMOUS BOYES!!!

re: rick and morty. i strongly agree and it makes me so nervous that rick burps all the time i cannot focus on whats happening in the show bc rick gives me so much anxiety

he misses the cherry blossom tree in thehowlter’s front yard and they are hopefully going to put it in when they have money

“you’re all like dan! not everything has to be symmetrical!” thank u for these affirmations that not everything has to be perfect thank u for being chill. a chill phil. 

“i dont mind a little bit of wonkiness!” “i’m at a bit of a wonk!” “is the entire house wonky?” the only real phil branding is ~WOnKy~

phils hands are so beautiful???? i love them?????? @ 8:50ish

him trying to figure out his best side and saying “one? or two?” as options like at the optometrist when ur getting ur eyes checked. 

someone in the chat: “both!” phil’s cheeky grin/”don’t flatter me!!!” response

someone in the chat: “side three!” i snort laughed along w phil this is truly Good Content. dark!phil RISE

phil doesn’t think he really has a bad side and his easy neutrality wrt his physical appearance is dreamy. i love him and i love that he’s comfy w himself like this

phil had an eye infection and this is the first day he’s been without glasses…… why does he glasses-bait us like this …..

it’s really hard for him to concentrate with dilated pupils so that’s why he was being a wee bit wonky in the last liveshow

his eye is no longer infected and is “white and ready to see!”. the tone of his voice, his accent, and the phrasingof that reminded me so much of my british grandma who i havent seen in a few years and now i want to call her i miss her

wicked was “as the kids say...Wicked.” I SNORTED AKLHFAEIHKF

also i cannot believe that he and dan used the same silly phrasewhen talking about their opinions of wicked. is it still #copyrightinfringement if its your bf blatantly enterprising ur intellectual property?

phil was feeling a bit meh going into wicked but now he’s converted and a fan

he loved defying gravity :(

phil: every audience is important! me: crying

phil loves coming-of-age/college/highschool aus … Me Too

phil remix: the top fans to the tune of mad world “all around me are familiar faces...lillyphanstuff, joteleena…”

he’s had “mad world” and also that fuckin. ditty song stuck in his head

“...is one thicc bih - NO!” is the best thing ive ever heard

im so sad that phil hasnt experienced the joys of ditty. apparently he doesn’t have it downloaded and doesn’t really know what it is

14:07 is my new ringtone (he sang the ditty tune in “doot doot doot”s)

“bandicussy” IM DEAD

phil thought it was a good family activity to see dunkirk but it made his parents very emotional bc his maternal grandad was in the war

making your entire family cry is apparently the phil way to entertain

neither he nor dan understood the timelines of dunkirk upon first watch

after filming his ap vid he sanitized using vanilla cupcake hand sanitizer

he watches zoe’s bath and bodyworks candle/lotion hauls??????? ME TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

apparently b&bw has some ~priiiicey~ candles. phil is the coupon clipping, consumer reports reading dad

he said that livestreaming games on dapg would be “dope”. i am reminded for the millionth time that he is a 30 year old white man. i am moderately uncomfortable.

jk it was someone in the chat who said it he was just reading the comment

“hi to the ‘phan’s moving boxes’ group chat”

facterino according to the nature man on tv: in england nature has decided that it’s autumn already. this is evidenced by blackberries coming out in august. because fall isstartingso early they’re expected to have a harsh winter but its fine bc he is excited for snow!

some climate change discourse

he’s not a big doctor who fan but his fav doctor is david tennant

he’s excited for the “lady doctor” and i’m uh. not a huge fan of that wording

23:02 pre-sneeze noises and hand motions are Delightful

apparently it’s southern england peeps who pronounce scone with a hard o (scOHne) and northerners pronounce it with a soft o (scAWn). phillu doesn’t know which pronunciation he uses

my mom grew up in cornwall (and moved to america when she was a teen. i’m american btw!) and pronounces it the northern way. we’ve had the scohne vs scawn debate!! lots of #britishfamilythings in this liveshow

philly homework motivation song @ 24:52

his first response to ppl being sad about school starting in a week is to calculate how many seconds are in a week so they can re-frame their time left in a way that feels more plentiful. i love this ???

i also really love how he tries to read premium messages from different people every time. idk that’s just really thoughtful and as a fan i really appreciate it

he knows that black makes him look good …. GOodBYe

today is world lion day!

phil is the one who puts the funny/random holidays on the dnp calendars. of course it was but im still so happily surprised  

doinganap’s sicth/sixth discourse

he’s reading people from the chat’s bdays and telling them what funny holidays are on their birthdays! i love how he finds different ways to get ppl in the chat involved every liveshow. i appreciate him so much !like yeah i know its a marketing thing but let me pretend its solely phil’s care for us

he wants to go back to japan

he can’t read or edit and listen to music at the same time! me neither

someone asked what a good pet would be and phil went on a lil tangent about how it’s important to have enough time to take care of the pet you choose!! dont get an exotic pet or a breed of non-exotict pet that requires a lot of time, money, or energy to care for it if you’re not at a point in your life where u can take care of it to the best of your ability! <3

hedgehogs are one of the most common animals in the uk??? what the heck?

he can’t remember whether or not he’s seen a hedgehog irl so he texts mum lester to ask <3 why is this the sweetest thing in the world . like seeing a hedgehog irl would be an experience that his family facilitated or even if he was moved out when it happened it would have been so exciting that he def would have told kath about it. so any way it happened she would know about it. my heart is Warm.

he’s not a huge summer candle burner but as soon as it’s september he’ll be on the pumpkin spice train

mum lester texted back and apparently his grandparents had a family of hedgehogs in their garage and his granddad built them a little hedgehog house to hibernate in :( wow!

phil might play shelter 2 … with dan. No Thank You. let us have some phil-only time plz 

shelter 2 is more of an autumnal game so he might do it later when he can cozy up with some cocoa and herd the badger babies

he feels a coffee buzz after five (5) chocolate-covered coffee beans. r u sure u even drink coffee phil????

rye bread is worse (in phil’s opinion) than regular bread and is ”claggy”. i busted out laughing and texted my mom IMMEDIATELY bca LOOOONG time ago we were at a family christmas party with my dad’s extended family and all of the Adults were playing scrabble. my mom ended up spelling claggy and everyone else was like THATS A MADE UP WORD WHAT THE FUCK!!!! and my mom was like ???? no its not? my dad’s family is from the eastern us and had never heard the word claggy before and i remember my dad giving my mom shit about it for YEARS afterward because she caused such an uproar. idk if it was a regional thing or if americans just don’t say claggy but REGARDLESS. my mom and i had a good laugh over this description of rye bread and we both love phil

he’s nervous abt what dalien is going to look like and become as he grows up. phil’s general reaction to dalien has been one of caution and nervousness and idk ?? someone more thoughtful analyze that please

his advice for making the most of the last bits of summer: do something you haven’t done before! immediately after bestowing upon us this Wise Advice he giggles and becomes self aware of his parental tone. Our Dad Is Becoming Self Aware

he doesnt swear around his parents?????? my mom says fuck all the time :0

2018 calendar and season two pastel plushies are in the works!

he’s singing another song to list the top fans. suggestions include toxic, the ditty tune, and the tetris theme. he goes with the ditty song and starts laughing in the middle of it so makes a seamless musical transition to toxic

if everything recorded properly with his new vid we should see it in the next few days!

he hopes that we have a lovely weekend and that whatever we end up doing brings us a bit of happiness :( i love him thank u phil

tiny little bonus song after he covers up the camera. schrodingers phil.

all in all i love phil’s liveshows and this has been the highlight of my day. thank u for reading!