#and because they thought they were too masculine to be a true lesbian bc I could be mistaken for a boy

[mamawasatesttube]

Tbh it’s kinda stereotypical that a lot of people view Tim as gay and Kon as bi when canon evidence suggests it’s the other way around

Tim has had several relationships with girls that show a lot of love and care even if they don’t work out. But all of Kon’s relationships with girls have been performative in some way (or were like one date with a lesbian)

But since Kon has the super strength people view him as more masculine so they make him bi, and Tim is more academic and has a lithe frame and is often made gay in fics and is given a more feminine role. Tim being a mistreated damsel and Kon being his savior is very common. It’s literally them being assigned top/bottom aka masculine/feminine, it’s just heteronormativity in a different font

YEAAAAAAH ANON GO OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its literally so true ive bitched about this exact thing to my friends before. it's both the homophobia implicit in the idea that a more "traditionally masculine" man (esp one who's not twink-shaped) must be available for m/f ships and cannot possibly be gay, plus the biphobia of the notion that bisexuality is this "half gay, half straight" midpoint default setting for any character who doesn't fit the ~gay archetypes~ or whatever.

like to be clear i have absolutely nothing against bi kon hcs. but i REALLY find the narrative of gay kon compelling (for the same reasons you state!! he has never had a real relationship with a woman) and yet. the one time i made a post about this, SO many people in the notes were like yeah bi kon is good too though. oh yeah you can have this narrative but i like him bi. as if that's a) the default setting and b) the ONLY option, because gay narratives and bi narratives have no distinctions. it was... pretty grating to be honest. it's a shitty way to treat both bisexuality And gayness.

also reminds me of the time someone left hate mail on my fic bc i described kon wearing heels and fishnets lkdjalksjdl like i laugh at it but it was. definitely someone who couldnt handle him being written as an actual queer man lmao. he HAS to be the manly man in the timkon relationship. or whatever.

ANYWAY all this to say, i fully agree with you!!! it's so pervasive and so annoying. also compounded w the number of people in the timkon tags who simply have never touched a kon comic tbh (goes back to bisexuality as being treated as a default not worthy of actual thought or consideration). alas :/

[redheadbigshoes]

hiii I’m also a 5’4 lesbian!! I just wanted to share my story bc I thought some ppl might relate to it (sorry for the long ask, I tried to condense it as much as possible). I used to think I was straight when I was 14 and first exploring my sexuality, bc I had previously dated one boy in middle school and one boy in high school. I didn’t totally dislike dating them either - I liked the close friendship but I HATED the hand-holding and hugging, and the first time my ex bf tried to kiss me, I punched in him the stomach (we were 12 at the time). I thought maybe it was just cos I was young and I’d get used to physical intimacy as I got older. Then I got older, and I developed a crush for one of my best friends, and she was a girl. I always wanted to get close to her, or find some ways to touch her, or get her to laugh and smile. She made me realize that I liked girls, so I settled with pansexual, bc I was just a teenager and I thought that some men were pretty to look at & since I had already dated two boys then I must be attracted to them. Throughout hs I ended up only dating girls, but I still solidly believed I was pansexual. I also kind of went thru an identity crisis when I got to my freshmen year in college - questioning my gender & sexuality, tried the transmasc label for a while, the whole 9 yards. I no longer resonate w that label, but I feel a lot more confident w my identity now (cis lesbian woman) after trying out so many different things. I met my current gf in college, and it was just like something clicked - that I was really only attracted to and wanted to be with women. While yes, I do find some men aesthetically pleasing and the thought “yeah he’s kinda cute” crosses my mind, I’ve never felt compelled to really date any men. I only did it when I was younger bc I was becoming best friends w those guys and I thought the natural progression was to start dating - plus we were kids, and I feel like kids tend to start “dating” pretty quickly even without there being true feelings towards one another. So I’ve only ended up identifying as a lesbian for the past 3 years of my life, but it’s the one I’m sticking with until I die. And my gf is actually my fiancé now ^_^ ig my life lesson is: explore yourself!! Don’t be afraid to try out things you feel like you might identify with! You never know what’s deep inside if you don’t try it out….

Oh this is so cute! I’m so happy for you and your fiancé!

I relate to a lot of the things you said. I’d try dating boys because that’s what other girls were doing, and I’ve never really questioned that. When I realized my attraction to women I used to identify as bi, because I couldn’t tell the difference between finding men attractive and being attracted to them, also because my experiences kissing boys and anything like that were not bad, so in my mind if they weren’t negative then it meant I was still attracted to them. The thing is: I wouldn’t feel anything when doing that with boys, and if you’re attracted to a person you’re supposed to feel something positive.

Growing up lesbians were showed very stereotypically as being masculine and knowing their sexuality since always. That was also one of the reasons I didn’t think I was a lesbian, because I didn’t fit any of those stereotypes.

Questioning your gender as a lesbian is very common, I did that too. But then I realized just because society has pretty wrong views of what is womanhood, that didn’t mean I wasn’t a woman. I’ve never felt uncomfortable identifying with my biological sex and the only reason why I started questioning that was because I began interacting a lot with queer people online and discovered all different non-binary identities and I began questioning if it was possible that I could be non-binary. Turns out just like you I’m not, I’m a cis woman and I’m way more comfortable being a cis woman now that I know I’m a lesbian than back when I still thought I was attracted to men.

[lesbian-vmin]

Reading your post about gender identity...

Just wanted to share my experience on this. Reading all of this makes me realize that I identify with you a lot with this in regards of your gender identity... It's funny bc all my family thinks I'm lesbian. I'm not, but sometimes I wish I were honestly... It's frustrating to be seen as only one thing or another... "you either are very feminine or you're gay". I like to be a girl, when I was a kid there where times that I wished to be a boy... But not like forever, just my thought that being a boy would be easier, that people would judge me a little less.. Idk.. People always made me think that if I didn't behaved girly enough then I was gay... "You must be gay then, you act and likes things that are for boys" that type of things.. And I was confused because I didn't like girls. I didn't talked with anyone about it, but I was like.. I little lost in regards of "where do I fit then?" You know? Because, they were giving opinion on my sexuality based on my looks and tastes... But I was like.. Why can't I like girls then? To me was the question.. Why I don't like girls? Until I started to think, Why should I like anyone only based on what things a like to do or what clothes or hobbies I like? I know this is different from you. But I was soooo confused when I was younger because of this.

I thought, why if I don't like barbies it means I'm like a boy? Honestly... I loved my brother's toys... His toys were funnier than a barbie, I was like.. What I need a doll for? What do I do with that? Like.... ??? It's boring as fuck... So I started to ask just for other things that were more interesting to me than barbies and that kind of stuff... Now I don't care much about what people say, as I said, my family really think I'm lesbian... I mean.. good for them (not my mom, I'm talking about causins and uncles/aunts) lol. But idk.. I like to be feminine, but I also like "boy" clothes... I always did. My personality is... Suga is my bias... And I think we are the same person honestly 😂Not 100% but.. Like 80%. Just to give you an idea. Some people think I'm cold, and some people say I'm very sweet and kind... So I should say it's something that change from "please don't talk to me, I don't like you or your vibe🙄😒" to "I love you, you are so sweet, I'm so glad that I met you 🥺 hug hug". So it depends on the people I meet, which parte of my they bring out..

I don't want to be a boy, I'm glad being a girl, I feel identified as cis-female, but I won't be mad if someone called me tomboy... Actually I think I am... And I don't care. Because I like the part of me that is "less feminine" and more like "boy behavior". What it offends me is the labels. That I have to be a boy or a girl to do or like X stuff.. Like why? I like what like... You like cars/sports? That's for boys.. Like Why can't a girl like that too without being labeled as "this" or "that" and same for boys.

My case is very different than yours obviously, because you were more like, I don't want to behave as a girl because I like girls, and I was like.. I like boys but I have to Iike girls because I behave as a boy sometimes. But in some things I understand you a lot. I wish people stopped assuming other people's sexuality only based on those people's identity and viceversa because is something very complicated. Maybe I am the complicated idk.. Anyways, thank you for sharing your story and your thoughts on JM. I agree with you btw.

So, I just wanna say thank you for sharing your story with me. Even though it’s different, it’s still kind of similar. I’m glad that someone could relate to my story, even if it’s not exactly the same. It just goes to show how dynamic people really are.

Also, your story just proves that people shouldn’t be so quick to judge someone’s identity or sexuality based on what they see. People think because a girl is more masculine, she must like girls or identify as a boy. Or because a boy is more feminine, he must like boys or identify as a girl. But neither may be the case.

You can be a straight cis-female and be more “masculine” than a lesbian or non-cis female. And the same thing remains true no matter where you fall on the spectrum of gender and sexuality.

It’s funny to me that my family never assumed that I was a lesbian, and they always just referred to me as a “tom boy.” I remember my aunt used to tell me that I’d never get a boy to like me if I didn’t act more lady-like, and I’d tell her that I didn’t care if boys liked me or not. She’d always say “You will when you get older.” And now here I am lol. But maybe it was that kind of attitude that made me want to be a boy more when I was a kid. Because I loved being friends with boys, but I knew I didn’t want to date them. It didn’t seem fair that boys could be boys and date girls, and I couldn’t lmao.

That being said, no one was surprised when I came out as gay. The responses weren’t all positive, but no one was surprised. And more people in my family actually came around to the idea a little more when I started to present myself as feminine more often, oddly enough.

It’s funny because I think people shouldn’t assume, like people would assume that you’re a lesbian. But I also think it’s okay for people to be open to the idea. There’s a middle ground where it’s just the right amount of support for you to come out without assuming you’re lying if you say you feel one way or the other. Some people in my family were on this level with me, but it’s rare to find people who fall right on that ideal middle ground. The people who let you know they’re aware of the possibilities in regards to gender and sexuality and talk to you openly about it so you’re aware of it, too. Those who aren’t surprised if you come out as gay or straight or any form of non-cis gender identity. Because while they may have been open to the possibilities, they weren’t assuming anything. So nothing is a surprise to them.

[asurveyblog]

gay questions

1. How do you define your sexuality? bisexual usually but also queer or gay

2. At what age did you first realize that you like girls? about 12

3. How out are you? slightly, only a few family members and friends technically know but at this point I’m only really hiding it from my dad

4. At what age did you first come out? 15

5. Who was the first person you came out to? How did they take it? a random kid in my math class ,, he didn’t really care

6. Has coming out lost you any friends? nope

7. What is your current relationship status? single

8. How many gay friends do you have? a few

9. Have you ever been to a gay bar or a gay club? no

10. Have you ever cut your hair super short? it’s never been shorter then my shoulders

11. How often do you wear flannel? pretty often usually just not lately bc it’s hot

12. How much do you like cats? their alright ,, I just don’t like being around them too much because i’m allergic

13. Do you like skirts and dresses? not skirts but I’ll wear dresses occasionally

14. Do you like high heels? not at all

15. Do you have any tattoos? If so, how many and where? a couple on my left arm , I would like many more though

16. Is your nose pierced? nope

17. Are you more feminine or more masculine? in the middleish? I guess leaning more towards feminine

18. Have you ever liked or dated a girl with the same name as you? no

19. Have you ever had a crush on a straight girl? yeah

20. Ellen or Portia? neither 

21. How accurate is your gaydar? it’s alright

22 Would you ever want to get married? i think so, yeah

23. Will you wear a dress for your wedding? I think so

24. Would you ever want to give birth? noo

25. Have you ever watched The L Word? nope

26. Have you ever dated a guy? yes

27. Have you ever pretended to be straight? yes

28. How many rainbow items do you own? a couple blankets and a couple shirts

29. Have you ever been to a pride festival? no :/

30. Have you ever worn a woman’s suit? no

31. Have you ever worn any men’s clothing? yes

32. Do you eat meat? yep

33. Do you consider yourself a feminist? yes

34. Who is your favorite LGBT celebrity? troye sivan and halsey

35. Are you religious at all? no

36. Where do you think is the best place to meet a potential lover? anywhere really

37. What is your ideal first date? idk

38. How outdoorsy are you? not much

39. Is there any one male you would go straight for? i’m bi but Harry Styles

40. How well do you think LGBT women are portrayed on television? not great but slowly getting a little better

41. How much makeup do you typically wear? none

42. Have you ever been in a long distance relationship? no

43. How many male friends do you have? none

44. How long is the longest relationship you’ve been in? Are you still with that person? almost 2 years and no

45. Have you and a girlfriend ever been mistaken for sisters? I haven’t had a girlfriend

46. Do you carry a purse? no

47. Have you ever wished you were completely straight? never

48. Do you watch any lesbian YouTubers? no

49. Do you like wearing combat boots or Doc Martins? yes

50. Have you ever been hit on by another female? I don’t think so

51. How athletic are you? not at all

52. How many girlfriends have you had? 0

53. What is your opinion of septum/bull nose piercings? they’re okay, I don’t really want one, but they can look cool on other people

54. Do you have any opinions on LGBT people in the military? I mean, i’m not a huge fan of the military but I don’t think LGBT people should be excluded from anything based on their sexuality

55. Do you believe in love at first sight? no

56. Have you ever shared clothes with a girlfriend? haven’t had one

57. Have you ever been on your period the same time as a girlfriend? ^^^^

58. How flirty are you? a little

59. Are you a virgin? yep

60. Do you listen to any LGBT musicians such as Tegan and Sara, Melissa Etheridge, or Chely Wright? yes, tegan and sara, troye sivan, halsey, hayley kiyoko, girl in red and many more

61. Have you ever been told that you are too pretty to be gay? never been told i’m pretty

65. Have you ever had a one night stand? nope

66. Agree or disagree: Everyone is at least a little bit gay. Depends on your definition of it. I don’t think everyone would be willing to date someone of their own gender but I think everyone can think someone of their own gender is hot or pretty or whatever

67. What personality trait are you most attracted to? loyalty or thoughtfulness 

68. Boobs or butts? boobs

69. Beer or wine? never had either

70. What is your favorite lesbian movie? I haven’t watched many

71. Have you ever been personally discriminated against because of your sexuality? If so, please explain. I don’t believe so

72. From 1-10, how attractive are muscular women? pretty attractive 8-9

73. From 1-10, how attractive are women who wear glasses? 9

74. From 1-10, how attractive are women who are covered with tattoos? 8

75. From 1-10, how attractive are curvy/plus-size women? 9

76. From 1-10, how attractive are women with short hair? 9

77. From 1-10, how attractive are masculine butch women? 9

78. Has a girl ever dumped you for a guy? nope

79. Lesbian couples tend to look alike. Why do you think that is? I don’t think it’s true

80. Do you have any LGBT relatives? yep, at least 2 I know of

82. Would you ever date a trans girl? ofc

83. How has being out affected your relationship with women, in general? I don’t think it has much?

84. Have you ever had a crush on a woman who’s much older than you? yeah lol

85. Do you have any celebrity crushes? Emma Watson, Harry Styles, Zendaya, Leonardo DiCaprio, and the list goes on 

86. What does equality mean to you? nobody judging anyone for things they have no control over and being treated equally in the eyes of the law

87. If you could live your life all over again, would you still be attracted to other women? I mean it’s not like it’s a choice but yes of course

88. What stereotype about LGBT women do you disagree with the most? they all have short hair and dress masculine 

89. What advice would you give a girl who is struggling to figure out her sexuality? take your time and it’s okay to not label it or not really know who your attracted to yet

90. What advice would you give a girl who is struggling to come out? literally there is no pressure to come out to anyone. If you think someone isn’t going to accept you and especially if you think they will react negatively you don’t have to tell them anything. If you don’t want to come out to someone,  that does not mean you are lying to them or hiding something from them. It’s their own fault for assuming you’re straight/cis not yours

[b0x]

😔 some Thoughts on the Trans Experience under the cut that i wanna vent out bc of some posts ive seen around that just kinda didnt sit right with me i guess

every time someone on here is like “trans men cannot experience eldest/only daughter trauma bc they are men and are therefore experiencing transphobic trauma” it’s like... man, gender is way too complex to be so cut & dry about a topic like this. many trans men grew up experiencing the traumas of being a daughter And being a trans man daughter, both pre-transition and post. saying that isn’t saying “trans men are actually women because they experienced this women’s trauma” it’s just recognising that many traumas overlap, regardless of gender. i know it comes from a supportive place, validating us as real men, but that should include validating our unique experiences too. 

i hope this makes sense, but a trans-man-daughter is still 100% a man, still 100% a son, but is very different to and does not have the same experience as a trans-man-son. and a trans-man-daughter doesn’t mean “a trans man raised as a daughter because they didn’t know they were trans at the time”, or “a trans man raised as a daughter by a homophobic parent even after coming out and already knowing they are trans”. no, a trans-man-daughter can still also be a trans man raised as a son with 100% support, because a parent’s trauma can still pass on regardless of the circumstance, because a trans person’s relationship with themselves and their own gender and body and mind is so unique and one-of-a-kind that we were practically designed to overlap the many gendered concepts that so many gatekeep as a sense of empowerment. 

and it sucks making our own posts/experience sometimes, because they never feel like “our own”? because they all come from traumas and bigotry that have already been boxed and labelled and sorted into sections, and to be someone who has bits and pieces from all those different boxes/sections? a trans person can, for example, experience misogyny one year and then transmisogyny the next and that doesnt make the misogyny the prior year “actually transmisogyny”, it was still misogyny that was experienced, even if it’s later relabeled as “transmisogyny”. if anything that just makes it TWO kinds of misogyny experienced instead of just one. it’s terribly confusing. and trust me, for every cis person confused by a trans concept, i can almost guarantee you it’s just as confusing for the trans person themselves. and this isn’t also me saying that ohh trans people have it worse because we experience Double the bigotry and trauma - no absolutely not. i just think it’s important for people to realise that there are people who will experience both misogyny And transmisogyny and that in itself creates its own new kind of bigotry/trauma experienced, if that makes sense?

of course, i don’t speak for every single trans man, but it’s a very specific kind of transphobia a lot of us experience that ties in directly with eldest/only daughter trauma, and why we relate to and connect with posts like that, even when they’re aimed specifically at those who identify primarily as women.

and on top of all that, i see quite a few of the same trans man “supporters” who say “trans men can’t experience daughter’s traumas because they’re men” do complete 180s and say that trans women can’t experience eldest/only daughter trauma bc their transphobia doesn’t correlate with “womanhood” at the source, because trauma that sons/men/male at birth experience is different to the trauma that daughters/women/female at birth experience, which is.. horrifically and bewilderingly transmisogynistic, transphobic, alienating, and just..  Shocking. shocking that these two points can be somehow made in the same breath together without any of them realising what they’re saying.

it’s like.. this weird group of people who are somehow both the opposite of and exactly the same as terfs? theyre more like... tirfs - trans Inclusionary radical feminists - the people who treat trans men like a substitute for the “effeminate cis gay best friend”, the one’s who will validate your masculinity but not entirely consider you a 100% guy, latching onto that “biological fact” of trans men being “female at birth” and therefore considering you more of a “sister” than a “brother”, regardless of them knowing and understanding that you are a man. i guess its kind of very similar to the transphobes who make awful comments that nonbinary people are just closeted lesbians/gays?

anyway, yes, many traumas are gendered due to binaries designated by society and a misogynistic and men-restricting patriarchy (and many other factors that all play parts in this whole big system such as religion and the upper class), but traumas are traumas, and honestly shouldn’t be gendered, because they all overlap regardless, and can be experienced by anyone if the exact circumstances are met. that and every single trans experience is so unique and so so complex because gender in itself is an extremely unique and complex concept that it just cannot in any way be monitored or labelled into strict rules and laws and binaries.

every time i see a post on here about womanhood and daughter traumas and cis women’s misogynistic experiences and hell even a lot of lesbian traumas/experiences, i find myself completely and entirely relating to many of them every single time even though i am 100% a trans guy, and half grew up as a son. and i guess it’s just kind of weird but not so weird because sure while some days it just feels like im not calling myself a true trans guy, most days its just me validating and relating to an experience that i had that was unique to me and doesnt necessarily mean that im a woman because of it

because womanhood and manhood are temperaments, traits we are either born with or without, traits that are ever-changing and developing as we evolve generation by generation. anyone can pick up or be born with parts of womanhood and/or manhood. like that’s what makes all of us so unique, not a single one of us are alike in any way shape or form because of that. the combinations are always unlimited. so it’s just dumb seeing stuff like that gatekeeped. you cant Own an Experience like thats... what the hell is going on. every time its always the same thing, everyone’s always tryna play god in some way, be it mastering themselves, their own emotions and life, or controlling others, dictating what they think how certain things should be etc

it’s like that one post that’s like everything would be so much simpler if everyone was bi and nothing was gendered ghadjgdkgj

idk.. just.. to gender conceptual things like gender and traits and personalities and traumas is just so... unhelpful and unopen to change and not fluid whatsoever as theyre supposed to be. i dont wanna be all “nothing is real” abt it all but labels and binaries and decided systems and set laws are literally the reason, since the beginning of time, for wars and bigotry and oppression and poverty and the whole shebang. bc Someone decided one day that being a woman means this this and that, and being trans means that and this and that, and those meanings will be the basis we will rewrite occasionally and maybe add to, instead of completely scrapping our whole outdated initial ideas about it bla bla bla. 

im just tired gender is weird and stupid why are we arguing why are we so protective like just have a convo man rule with curiosity not adamancy and you’ll be sooo much happier trust me

[thevagueambition]

Atla, Zukka and Sokka :)

ATLA

Favorite character: Zuko, 100%. He’s a character I relate to a lot, eg the whole “hard work vs natural talent” thing... I even have a costume, although I didn’t get a chance to use it when I meant to so I haven’t really done so yet OTL

Least Favorite character: Hmm, god, I don’t know.... Bumi, maybe? As a comedic character he feels a bit too “haha crazy” and he doesn’t really (imo) work well as a dramatic one... 

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon):

Zukka

Hakoda/Bato

Roku/Sozin

Tyzula

Jetko

Character I find most attractive: Zuko. Particularly s3 ofc lol

putting the rest under a cut for length

Character I would marry: idk. not big on marriage really

Character I would be best friends with: Sokka

a random thought: The true hero of ATLA is Iroh and I feel ashamed of not having mentioned his name yet in this

An unpopular opinion: The age difference between Kataang is 2 years which is the exact same age difference between Zutara and neither are particularly weird regardless of the fact that I don’t care about either ship

My Canon OTP: Don’t have one. Sokka/Suki is cute I guess is the closest I come to having strong feelings on a canon ship

My Non-canon OTP: Zukka

Most Badass Character: Toph but also low key Sokka bc he’s a non-bender

Most Epic Villain: That old blood bending woman who gave us all nightmares

Pairing I am not a fan of: Zutara, but that’as as much about fandom behavior back in the day as anything else

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): Korra, all of LoK 

They gave Toph too little to do in s3 and she SHOULD have had her Zuko outing like all the others >:( Actually Zuko and Toph have a lot in common in certain ways and that was never fully explored

Also obviously SOOOO many characters in this series who were written as straight when they shouldn’t be lol. We get it, it was a kid’s cartoon in the 00s, but they didn’t have to agressively pair off everyone in neat m/f couples by the end of the series

Favourite Friendship: Aang & Zuko

Character I most identify with: Zuko, as mentioned above. He’s also the same MBTI type as me haha (INFP). Also, Sokka mix of being simoultaneously really clever and extremely stupid is a gigantic mood.

Character I wish I could be: Idk... Iroh, in some ways, certainly. Honestly, by the end of the series all the main kids are pretty admirable people. Who wouldn’t want Aang’s kindness, Katara’s righteousness, Zuko’s determination, Sokka’s cleverness, Toph’s independence, Suki’s leadership, etc? Hell, Mai’s bravery and Ty Lee’s loyalty? I love all the main kids.

Zukka

When I started shipping them: Only a year or two ago, actually! I think last time I rewatched The Boiling Rock I was like 👀

Originally when I was an ATLA fan I was still in the “we must adheer to canon” phase of my existence in fandom and then for a good while I was still affected by my... hesitance to look like a, idk, stereotypical slash fan, in the sense that back in the day people were REALLY hostile to slash ships that seemed, idk, contrived. Zukka also just wasn’t a big ship back in the day I don’t think, Jetko has always been more popular. 

My thoughts: The cammaraderie that developes between them over their stay at The Boiling Rock is incredibly compelling to me and I think that... the ways in which Sokka holds Zuko accountable through “jokes” but still allows him the space to prove himself is really interesting and probably... something that is actually better for Zuko than either Katara’s rage or Aang’s kindness? Idk. 

Also they both have pretty complicated relationships to masculinity and what it means to be a man in their respective cultures and their sort of struggles with that and how those struggles look different due to circumstances like their parental situations and different cultural expectations... Zuko’s is less directly about masculinity per se because the Fire Nation has less strict gender roles, or at least ones that don’t code certain activities as purely masculine endeavours (eg warfare) but certainly there are shades of Ozai’s treatment of Zuko and Azula that are gendered as well as about birth order and it’s interesting how Zuko and Sokka both impose restrictions on themselves about how they should behave and what they should live up to culturally.

What makes me happy about them: I think they complement each other really well. They have a lot in common but are pretty different about their approach to things... I also just really like battle couples lol 

What makes me sad about them: Their respective trauma is part of what makes them compelling but it’s certainly also sad, so in that sense...

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: So much of it is modern AU and i don’t care for it lol. Completely ignoring any sense that the Avatar world must have some elements of homophobia bothers me to exist in the ways it does, but as does completely overplaying it, idk. It’s a balance not everyone strikes well. Also obviously when people demonise Suki or Mai to account for them not being in the picture that’s bad.

Things I look for in fanfic: Honestly, more than anything? Good characterisation. This is a ship that lives and dies by good characterisation. I also really like when they’re set during the time at the Western Air Temple.  

My wishlist:

Swordfighting duels!! Practicing swordfighting together!! Bonding over swords like the dumb teenage boys they are!! Yes I know about the innuendo that only makes it better!! 

Hakoda not just being cool with it but realising about Zuko’s abuse and being like Actually I Am Your Dad Now

I always want fic where the gaang find out about how Zuko got his scar and that with Zukka is even more *chef’s kiss*

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: Hmm ending up with, huh? I like Jetko for the drama but not necessarily as endgame. Sukka is pretty cute so I’m down for that but Maiko is.... look, it made sense for the time that Zuko was back in the Fire Nation because but I 100% don’t think it’s something either of them benefits from afterwards. They’re better off as friends imo also Zuko’s gay

My happily ever after for them: I want them to travel the world together tbh? I never quite know how to account for Zuko becoming Fire Lord in my thoughts about him post-canon because... well obviously I hate monarchy and I don’t actually think Zuko would be particularly comfortable being the leader of a nation, so... I don’t know. Maybe after some years, maybe a decade, of guiding the nation back towards stability Zuko starts reforming the country towards something more democratic and becomes less personally involved in the affairs of running the country? I don’t see them as people who would or really could be tied down by each other because they each have responsibilities to their respective communities and I don’t necessarily find “and then they lived in the Fire Nation palace together for the rest of their lives” compelling... 

Sokka

How I feel about this character: I love him so much. His character developement is so compelling and as one of the very few prominent non-bending characters he is also compelling in the ways that situate him within the world and forces him to look for other things to contribute with. Again, the ways in which he is undeniably very clever but simoultaneously kind of dumb is also just... Very Good and Relatable lol. He was someone I overlooked a bit for a while but I think Sokka’s Master really awakened me to how great he is and on rewatches he became one of my faves. Also, you just gotta love any character that uses sarcasm as a shield lol. 

Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character: Zuko, primarily, as discussed above. I’m fine with both Yue and Suki as canon ships but I’m not really invested in it. When I was younger I liked Sokka/Toph somewhat but actually Toph is a lesbian so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ You could always do Suki/Toph, kill two birds with one stone you know

My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character: Gotta love a good father-son relationship <3

My unpopular opinion about this character: I don’t know what the popular opinions about him are tbh. I’ll use this to say I think ADHD!Sokka makes sense though

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: Hmm, idk... the episodes he had that were focused on him were very good and did a good job of exploring his inner life in the face of how often he’s a comedic character, so it would have to be more in terms of his relationships with other characters. More interactions with Zuko would have been good ofc ! :3c

Favorite friendship for this character: Hm, probably Aang. Protective Older Brother Mode for a character that isn’t even technically his sibling is Very Good.

My crossover ship: I don’t really have crossover ships

[spuriusbrocoli]

I'm not straight at all and I don't get most of your posts about being LGBT vs. being straight?

So I presume you’re talking about this post that I made as well as… another one. Which I’ll talk about later.

Basically, this post is about how I have an irrational association between my experiences as a queer person (nonbinary mlm is a pretty accurate label, I think) and my experience raising my pets. And I know that this association between my queerness and my pets is entirely imagined; I draw attention to the fact that it wasn’t logical in the post.

(bolding edited in here)

I can’t imagine how heterosexuals do pet-rearing.

Like, I got my first cat at the same time as I did my first live-in boyfriend, and then we got my first dog where we were the primary caregivers to the dog as opposed to our parents.

As a result, the emotions of my overwhelming queerness and the emotions associated with raising my sons (i.e., the cat and dog) are probably more intertwined than is logical. And when I see cishets with pets I’m just like “¿¿¿¿¿¿¿???????? the straights aren’t allowed to do that”.

The point of this post is “Hey, I have this weird association that doesn’t make any sense! Isn’t that funny?” I know straight people can have pets; I was in fact raised by two straight people with pets. That’s part of the joke (that straight people can have pets, not that my parents in specific did). The punchline is supposed to be me and the inherent absurdity of my reaction to seeing straight people with pets, because, again, straight people can and do raise pets and everyone knows this including myself which is the entire joke.

Like, I did actively call attention to that fact in the post. I’m kind of at a loss as to how to make my posts more unambiguously facetious. Maybe I could tag it as “#jowak” to let audiences know that I’m kidding, but I tagged The One Post as “#rant”, and it didn’t do shit, so idk.

But anyway, let’s talk about The One Post, shall we?

On the third-and-twentieth of April, two-thousands-and-eighteen anno domini, according to Tumblr, I made a post that got… some attention.

Rather a lot of attention, actually.

My do these folks know how to make a girl blush.

Just so many lovely characters here…

And that’s without the reblogs (mostly more of the same, but editing out the usernames and profiles is a pain, so I’m not gonna bother).

Sot tldr: it got attention. Almost 5k notes’ worth of attention in fact. Yay me.

Now I will openly admit that the original is an incoherent rant. It’s all over the place, and if people missed the point, I’d understand. I considered addressing some of the legitimate points, but until now they had been too buried in the crap for me to really bother (though I will address some of the less-shitty vitriol here).

But enough talking about The One Post, let’s just read the whole unedited thing, shall we?

a straight girl will date anything vaguely male-shaped so long as its as cis and het as she is. istfg you could line up the handsomest butches who could eat her pussy for days or the most genteel bi boys who could top her from wall to wall of her tacky apartment, and she’ll still choose her broke, ugly trogolodyte boyfriend who thinks staring at her tits is foreplay and humping vaguely in her direction will get her to cum bc gay men are meant only to compliment her tasteless dress over brunch and lesbians are gross.

(whole thing can be found here as well)

So this post was actually inspired by two very specific neighbors. They had two dogs–Pluto and Coppernicus, whom my puppy was not allowed to socialize with. The two of them were actually kind of infamously unfriendly with everyone in the building, tbth. That’s neither here nor there, but it’s some context.

Anyway, I see this miserable woman while we’re both going in and out of the laundry room. She’s, like, decent-looking, but my type for women tends to err between butch and futch. And her husband/fiance/boyfriend/partner/whatever is real ugly. Like, a potential project for Queer Eye type: utter lack for clothing or basic skincare. Except he’s also an ass.

So I made a post that was mostly about how straight boys are ugly. And straight boys are kind of ugly. Bc we as a society code that sort of basic self-care as queer/feminine, which is the fault of no individual straight boy–and certainly not the fault of this one dude.

But as I was making the post, it kind of occurred to me that many straight women are not only complicit in this system, but they actively encourage it. Straight women do avoid men attracted to women–even straight men–if they seem “too effeminate”. So I went back and edited the post to be inclusive of queer men attracted to women.

Then it kind of occurred to me that attraction isn’t really perfectly binary to begin with and that we as humans are primarily attracted to features like how our potential partners conduct themselves and not really to abstract labels like “man” or “woman”. This isn’t to say that people aren’t attracted to people with any given label (there’s a big difference between men attracted to feminine women and men attracted to feminine men, for instance), but they aren’t coherent classes. And straight women are getting wise to this; look at this comic routine about a straight woman’s first time at a gay bar (yeah, it’s hardly scientific evidence, but this isn’t my fucking thesis). Hence why I went back again and edited in the butch comment.

So yeah, the result was an incoherent mess. And I can sort of understand how someone could read this post and think I was equating butches with straight men, which I do not want to do. Women, no matter how masculine, have a fundamentally less privileged position than men, and gnc women experience the intersectional oppressions of patriarchy and gender conformity. And if this all-over-the-place rant seems to be equivocating between cis and trans people’s experiences or men and butches’ to you, I get that. My wording was bad, and I should’ve done a reread. I’m sorry for that.

What I wasn’t expecting and am definitely not apologizing for is the influx of hatemail from straight people calling me a lesbian incel. And I know that it’s coming from straight people bc wlw would never call another wlw an incel bc the incel subculture is distinctly one rooted in the experiences of male entitlement to women’s bodies. And bc wlw are objectified like all women, they understand that the experiences of an entitled straight man are not equivalent to wlw who can’t find a partner bc of systemic issues that affect all women and especially sapphic women. (Or I hope that wlw have that level of understanding at least.) Or like, just listen to the original, mournful “Slow Dance” compared to the quietly negging “White Blank Page” or “Treat You Better”. (No shade against Mumford and Sons, but both of these examples show how jealous straight men tend to turn their lack of unrequited love at either the other man or at the object of his affection; Babeo Baggins is just sad.)

So given that I am (i) assigned male and male-aligned, (ii) attracted primarily to men, and (iii) in a happy relationship with a nonbinary person with a penis; the hatemail is rather ridiculous.

And that’s exactly what it is: hatemail. Reread through that shit, and it’s just utterly vitriolic. And I’m not gonna say my post wasn’t vitriolic in turn; it definitely was. But my faggot exasperation with straight dudes is not equivalent to the degree to which people on this site harass lesbians. And even if I were a lesbian who couldn’t get with a girl bc she had some ugly-ass boyfriend, that’s still no excuse to turn her personal, rambly post into a nearly 5,000 note meme.

So tldr: Leave lesbians tf alone.

Now to loop back to your original statement, dear Nonnie (I know it has a question-mark, but I read that as upspeak in this context and not a true question):

I’m not straight at all and I don’t get most of your posts about being LGBT vs. being straight?

Well, I’m a queer talking about my queer-ass experiences and my queer-ass thoughts. If your not-straight self relates to that, well great. If you don’t, that’s kind of not my problem. My blog isn’t a resource of any sort, and I wouldn’t claim otherwise; even my linguistics tag is mostly my opinions (though my opinions on linguistics are gonna be way-the-hell better-informed than a non-linguist’s, just sayin’).

So frankly, unfollow. Or don’t. I kind of don’t care. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[vamprefaggot]

logan i was just wondering. how do you know who you are? like everyones always asking. why dont you have a boyfriend or girlfreind yet and idk i can find people attractive but dont ever like them until ive been at least freinds for years. -11

(imma stick it under a cut bc idk if other people want this on their dash and its rlly long)

sooo basically i was raised in a rlly good environment so there was only one or two points in time where i definitively thought i was straight so i never had that on top of it if that makes sense? like no internalised homophobia to struggle with so on that count i was hella lucky and then my mum sent me to a rlly weird extended sex-ed thing in the basement of a church for two months so i know a Lot of sex ed shit(if you ever have questions n shit i know Too Much) so that definitely helped and i’m including this for a reason bc i feel like you need backstory

my best friend for a few years had two dads(russ and joe) and two moms(mitzi and i think jenny) russ and joe were hella dope and in love and i adore them still even tho i never see them(i actually saw russ recently and he hasn’t changed a bit it was nice) so i was raised with gay people actually present so it was completely normalised to me(mitzi and jenny h a t e d me bc they thought i’d turn jax gay which is really sad now that i’m thinking about it) 

and while all that did help it wasn’t until someone said to me, jokingly, “you’re as straight as a straight man” that i kinda just realised that ‘holy shit, that’s true, i’m not straight’. that was like,, early last yearish? before last halloween, bc on that halloween i met the first person i ever actually, genuinely wanted to fuck: a chick whos name we’re gonna pretend is tara. taller than me, blonde, made a ton of dick jokes, and called me her wife and that was the definitive moment that it just kinda struck home that i was a lesbian. 

of course, that’s only one of the million labels i use bc i love labels(and colour coding but that’s not relevant). i’m demiromantic, and i really struggled with that one a lot because i didn’t want to be aromantic. i’d never felt romantic attraction, and while i loved the concept of it, there were a lot of other things going on at the time that made it really hard for me to think that romantic attraction was gonna happen for me. then a girl called lavender stumbled into my life, i fell head over heels and i think she liked me too bc god knows we planned out a lot of dates so i started considering that i was demi because we were friends first and we never progressed past that because her parents made her stop talking to me. and now i have prim, and for the first little bit of our friendship i had so many problems because i was worried that she was gonna replace lav(she hasn’t and i adore her so much) but that’s passed thankfully and?? i’m here now. 

agenderflux is still a thing that i’m not sure about but it fits the best for me right now. i originally labelled myself as feminine nonbinary, but that doesn’t really fit? i have never felt particularly feminine in any sense of the word, but nor have i felt masculine, and i dont particularly like the label ‘nonbinary’ for myself. its not that its a bad label, its just not me. i did a lot of googling, and i say agenderflux bc sometimes i feel a little more masc or fem than other times. 

idk it depends on a lot of factors and you dont have to figure it out immediately if you dont want to!! i’m always here if you wanna ask abt terms and things bc i have done a Lot of research(when i was supposed to be doing school woops) and like if you just wanna talk i’m here n queer n bad at responding but i’ll try my best and like?? sometimes it takes people longer than others its so weird seeing some of the thirteen year olds on here already all figures out bc at thirteen i wa a blob with no friends pretending to have a crush on some kid i’ve known for years bc it was the straight thing to do and i’m still kinda figuring out stuff like i promised myself i’d never do long distance bc “too much work” but i have prim and she’s hella worth it :’))  idk life is long you have time to figure it out i promise and i’m always here if you need and i know plenty of other people are too(idk i hope that helps love but!! dont stress yourself out abt it, it took me two years to come to terms w/ all the labels i use its not immediate and it’ll all turn out good i swear)

[ambivalentangst]

Lance and the Generals

Alright so listen liSten Linda I know the generals have probably seen Lance's face but what if they didn't bc helmets and for the sake of writing plot. Basically I just wanted to write Lance bonding and having a good time with these babes who I'm 10/10 gay for. + a little Lancelot for the sake of angst and miscommunication. This was supposed to go up tomorrow, but screw it, I'm finished now. I'm also aware it's been stated Lance and Lotor don't get along but as we haven't seen them interact yet, imma keep doing my thing regardless. Crack ships are fun that way. I did have a part two vaguely planned out with a reveal, if anyone's interested. Either way, I like aliens, lesbians, and grey morality so here we go! - All Lance had to say was it was a good thing his helmet didn’t really come off in battle, because when he walked into the salon and saw four very pretty and very dangerous woman he’d encountered time and time again he had a mini heart attack, along with a white haired beauty he’d never seen before. Lance looked at them for a moment longer, then looked at himself. According to everyone he’d asked, this was the best spa around, and Lance really could do with a good massage. Defending the universe was stressful. Besides, it wasn’t like they’d be able to recognize him. He could even gather some intel! So, flashing a flirtatious smile at the alien manning the front desk, he laid down what common currency the team managed to scrounge up and sidled up to the five gathered. “Do you lovely ladies mind if I join you?” he asked, trying to control the pounding of his heart. He was startled, but not entirely put out by the entirely masculine and cool voice that responded. “I don’t see why not,” the white haired one purred, and Lance grinned. He could be down for that, and settled himself very purposely next to the first one that had spoken. He figured it was probably another general, and was more than happy to get to know them. Almost instantly he had the spritely, bubbly one all over him, winding her fingers through his hair as a face mask was painted on him by the staff. “Wow! Acza, come look! His hair is so soft!” Lance’s smile widened a little, suddenly reminded of his older sisters fawning over him. Cucumbers, or at least what appeared to be the space equivalent were put over his eyes, blocking his view. Quiet footsteps wandered over, a sound of surprise following as Lance felt another hand thread through his head of brown. “It is,” a smooth voice, also female, responded. Probably the one Keith had met in the Weblum. There was also a meow, to which Lance assumed the blind one had joined in on the action. “Great, isn’t it, Narti?” It felt very nice, and Lance couldn’t help enjoying the praise. It felt nice to be the center of attention for a little. “I wanna touch!” Came a gruffer voice, and Lance jolted as his hair was ruffled very aggressively. Ah, the buff one. “Easy there, Zethrid. We don’t want anybody scalped. He does look fragile” The masculine voice again, and Lance turned his head where he thought it was coming from. “Don’t worry, baby. I can play rough if you want me too,” he drawled with a smirk. Giggles, and the hands on his head went away to be replaced with a lighter, more clinical touch as he heard water running and things being worked into the hair everyone had been enjoying a few moments ago. Lance was expecting to be tolerated, but not to have his advances returned. So, he nearly choked on the lemonade like drink that had been put in his hand, as well as the straw that had been guided to his lips when the beauty responded. “Are you sure you want me to hold you to that offer?” Lance hummed thoughtfully, while ‘oohs’ and some disgusted scoffing filled the air. “I can think of an awful lot of things I’d want you to hold me too,” he responded in a sultry purr. A whistle then who Lance thought Zethrid did, and the bubbly one laughed again. “Ooh, I like him! Your-” The man cleared his throat, and she quickly fixed her words. “Sir, he’s a good fit. Pretty too. Oh Acza, don’t look at me like that. You know very well I’m a lesbian.” Another whistle from Zethrid, who Lance could properly see as the space cucumbers were taken off his eyes and his mask was washed away by another attendant. The blue skinned woman was blushing, and Lance connected the dots with a smile. “Ezor,” the woman hissed abashedly, and now it was Lance’s turn to laugh as someone began rubbing oils into his feet and hands. “Really, you guys are dating? That’s great! I have a sister back home with a girlfriend.” For a moment, his expression faltered, thinking of home. “I haven’t seen them in awhile,” he admitted. The man arched a perfectly plucked brow, placing a hand on his. “And why is that?” Lance smiled, but it held a bit of sadness now. “I, uh, left home with a girl and some friends.” Technically, true. “It was spur of the moment. I didn’t really realize I wouldn’t be able to go back until it was too late. But I’m gonna get there eventually!” he promised, looking up to face the man with a grin. “There’s just some things I have to do first.” His eyes searched around the room, reminding himself that he was among enemies. Still, they didn’t seem like it in the moment. Ezor was laughing, kissing Acza on the nose while the other woman blushed and looked like she was trying not to spontaneously combust. Zethrid was talking with Narti about what color their nails should be. He was still focused on them when he felt a hand on his cheek, thumb swiping over it. “I’m sorry, what are these things on your cheeks? I have never seen them before.” Lance laughed playfully, not exactly pulling away from the touch. It was refreshing at the very least. “They’re just freckles. You’ve really never seen them?” The man shook his head, head cocking to the side. He looked intrigued. “Never. Do they hurt? And are all your people so very becoming?” Lance made a sound that sounded like a squeak, a blush creeping up his cheeks and coating the tips of his ears. “Um, no. I was born with them. And maybe? I’m not really sure what aliens consider attractive.” The man grinned, tipping his chin up. “I find you attractive,” he teased. Lance suddenly had overwhelming amounts of sympathy for Acza. “Wow. Thanks? Woah, I should probably get this towel off my head. It’s, um, yeah! Gotta get it.” He ignored the amused chuckle from the man, untwisting it from atop his head. As he rubbed it back and forth on his head to finish drying it before casting it aside, his previously straightened hair sat in soft curls atop his head. Lance thought nothing of it, but he heard a little gasp and suddenly Ezor was right back in his face. “Oh my god! It curls!” Just like before, he was swarmed with the girls--generals, he reminded himself. They patted and prodded at his hair, even the beautiful man joining in. The longer he spent with them through massages and all sorts of other pampering, the harder it was to reconcile the image of the group who were so close knit and cared for each other so much with the same people who hunted them relentlessly. He felt Zethrid’s ears (so fluffy!) and Narti’s tail. Hell, he had matching nail colors with Acxa in the end. The man was reserved, but he listened as Lance talked (vaguely of course, he wasn’t an idiot) about all the insecurities he had, as well as his hopeless crush on Keith and his position as a paladin. He listened, offering advice while the girls sympathized and told funny stories to cheer him up when the mood got too down. By the town Lance left the spa his skin was glowing and he felt better than he had in ages. It made him sick to know that if they weren’t on the wrong side of the war they could’ve been friends. As he made his way back to the pod it occurred to him that he’d never gotten the man’s name. For a fleeting moment, he wondered if the man was Lotor, but giggled to himself just thinking of it. The head of an evil empire spanning the majority of the universe wasn’t just going to be sitting in a spa, what an absurd thought.

[transfagged]

all of the lgbt emojis ;)

🌈 - what’s your orientation and gender?   

im a gay trans guy!

🌹- what would be your ideal date? 

museum or art institute, then maybe a picnic in a park with cloudgazing and dog watching!!! or lunch on the beach after walking around all the tourist-y shops!!

💘 - what personality traits are attractive to you? 

asdfasdf okay but seriously: honesty, compassion, and kindness!! also a love for animals is just,,, wow

💋 - what do you find physically attractive?

TALL WITH GLASSES

🐻 - what is your favourite animal?

i really like dogs, goldfish, ball pythons, geckos, owls, and elephants!!

💭 - when did you realise you were lgbt?

when i was in 7th or 8th grade! i realized that it wasnt totally hetero to ID as a girl and like other girls afdadsfjh!!! then freshman year of hs i was like “mmmm gender”. i bounced around a lot with labels bc i had a gf that didnt like me asking to be called her boyfriend, and she told people i wasnt trans, so i went back to lesbian, and just last year i kind of came to terms with being a gay trans guy!!!! it was bc i saw a cute boy at a robotics competition and my first thought was “wow im so gay” asdfasdh and here i am! life makes a lot more sense now. its like, with the internal transphobia i just decided that bc i liked masculine clothes i mustve just been butch, even tho i didnt like women too much. im much happier now!!

💌 - what makes your heart melt?

when people remember the little things, or make homemade gifts

🎤 - do you have a favourite lgbt song?

transgender dysphoria blues and true trans soul rebel!!! against me! is my favorite band!!! some other honorable mentions:

for him. - troye sivan

jenny - studio killers

girls like girls - hayley kiyoko

pynk - janelle monae

neverland - holland (a favorite!!!)

the good side - troye sivan

rainbow - kesha

and artists: gerard way (has talked about not really going with a gender, fine with he/him or they/them pronouns), conan gray (he hasnt officially come out), kesha, dodie, green day, holland, keiynan lonsdale… i love lgbt artists with a passion!!!!

edit: how could i forget harry styles?? :((( hes so good too

🍀 - what’s your fav thing abt being lgbt?

if you asked my friend abby, shed say lgbt people actually have a personality, so i guess that? asdfhafd mostly i love making old people mad and being able to enjoy gay culture bc its so fun!!! and i love making jokes about how gay i am

🌠 - advice for young lgbt people?

take your time! you wont not know everything right away; thats completely fine! it takes time to figure yourself out! you’ll find people who love you, so dont force yourself to be with people who are mean to you because of your identity :^)

☁️ - where do you see yourself in 5 years?

living with my best friend in the city somewhere while we finish our degrees together, with a dog and lots of fish tanks. we go to drag shows on friday nights together. i’ve had top surgery, and im comfortable with myself. my mother loves me, she respects me, and ive seen kesha in concert. im good at digital art and i take commissions!!! ive written 2 lgbt webcomics, and i have a merch store!

[roseyy-days]

okay so this blog might end up being a little like a journal where i talk about stuff thats happening

i live in munich and this weekend i went to a different part of germany to visit this friend that i made. his name is micah and he's really such a down-to-earth, easy-to-be-with person. he's about to be 24 (three years older than me) and he’s doing a masters program here in germany. he's from america, too, though. we texted a lot and got to know each other pretty well before we met the first time, then he and his friend Maddie (who he doesn't really like) came to munich and i kinda tagged along with them to hang out. that was fun, so we decided to spend a weekend together in the city he lives in. it was actually a really fun weekend!!!

so i always identified as a lesbian i guess but now that I'm a little older i think i identify more as pansexual, although the chances of me dating a straight cis man are slim to none. I've been weirdly criticized for this but idc. i like to say pan because i would date/like/whatever with a non-binary or trans person. not gonna lie, people with Other genders and stuff interest me, and micah happens to be trans, he’s been taking testosterone for like three years so he is definitely male-passing. I've low-key always wanted to have sex or date or do stuff with a trans person. 

i took a bus there for an hour and 40 minutes on friday, and i just got back to munich like 2 hours ago. before we did this weekend, he asked me what this was supposed to be, like if it was a friendship or fwb or what, and we basically decided to have no expectations, but whatever happens happens. on friday night i slept on the extra mattress he has in his room

so it happened. the excuse to hold my hand was that his hands were cold. i guess it wasn't really an excuse bc it was true, his hands were cold. its like literally freezing here in germany so thats valid. from that point on though, we acted like a couple in public. he held my hand and touched my leg while we were on the bus and stuff and it was sweet. even though we aren't going to date, it still felt nice

we went to christmas markets and stuff with his friends, who were cool, and it was fun. we drank different alcohol, ate crepes, walked around a lot, and also saw the Walhalla monument thing. when we got home from all of that it was almost 12, so we showered quickly (separately) and just got into bed (together this time). we laid there talking for a while as his hand was touching my leg, further and further up, suggestively. eventually when i mustered up the courage i asked if i could kiss him and he said yes so we kissed. our mouths were both so dry from smoking lol it kinda sucked. he has sort of big lips that are really nice to kiss. i liked kissing him

we started touching each other and stuff and i didn't know what to do bc I've never had sex with a transitioned trans guy before. i know bottom growth (when the clitoris grows to be a couple inches long) was a thing but obviously I've never touched anyone who has had that. being on testosterone for so long makes that happen. everything was shaved super smooth i couldn't even believe it. later he talked about how he generally shaves if he thinks he's going to have sex bc it makes everything easier. that made me glad i shaved a few days ago in preparation of this possibly happening. anyway, i was nervous to touch his clit because i didn't know if that was okay or what. so i just asked “is there anything you don't want me to do/touch” and  he said no, everything is fine. so that was good. I finally touched his vagina area, and it was nice to see that he has legitimate-sized inner labia like i do. I've always been self conscious of mine so it made me happy that his were like that too. his are also visible from the front when he's standing up. and yeah, bottom growth is real in case anyone was wondering. his clit was like 2.5 inches long, and felt erect almost like a penis. it was actually really really cool, just anatomically. once i got over the coolness i was like “what do i do” so i started doing random things and asking what felt okay. basically everything feels good, he said, so i just gauged his reaction. something unique i guess is that his legs/torso kind of convulse as he gets close to orgasming. not just a little shaking but like a lot. it was pretty attractive tbh. he asked if he could go down on me and i was nervous at first but i said yes of course, and that was that. it actually felt better than anyone else who has ever attempted to go down on me in my whole life. just saying. i told him that i can't orgasm from someone else touching me, and he said thats okay of course. but he did finger me a lot and also touched my clit in a way that feels good, when that usually doesn't feel good when someone else does it. 

so we touched each other for quite a while. there was also a point where he realized i had my nipples pierced lol. this was the first time I've had sex with someone without having a big conversation about sex previously. also the oldest person I've had sex with. also the first light-eyed person I've had sex with/kissed. lots of firsts. i touched him for a while and it was fun. he has a really muscular body and it was nice to touch in general. when he orgasmed his whole body contracted and shook for a long time. probably one of the most attractive things I've ever seen. 

when we were in public together he held my hand and put his hands on me a lot in general, which i liked. its been a long time since someone’s hands have been on me lmao i missed it a lot. micah said he also feels starved for physical contact lol. it was a very different feeling to be with a guy in public. since he looks so masculine and male-passing, i didn't feel anxious about being stared at. when i’m with a girl in public there are always small thoughts in the back of my head about being stared at, or what we look like, or whatever. but i didn't have that fear at all this weekend, and ngl, it felt pretty nice to be led around by a guy more dominant than me. i liked it. this is how i know I'm not a lesbian, because I'm attracted to micah. i think pan is the best word for me for now. okay peace out :-)

[karlyhokes]

Same Love

SEXUALITY & COMING OUT: 1. How do you define your sexuality? Bisexual 2. What pronouns do you use to identify yourself? Outgoing 3. At what age did you first suspect that you are sexually attracted to other girls?  16

4. At what age did you come to terms with your sexuality? 21 5. Did you have an “aha I like girls” moment or was it more of a gradual realization? Gradual realazation 6. How did your sexuality make you feel before you came out? Scared 7. How did you become comfortable with your sexuality? Having a girlfriend go through everything with me & to have family friends who loved me regardless of my sexuality. 8. At what age did you first come out? 19 9. Who was the first person you came out to? How did they take it? Technically my mom and she was hurt at first and probably cried but now she’s whatever lol. 10. Do your parents know about your sexuality? Yes they do… they were the first to know 11. How out are you? I am engaged to a girl 12. Do you now identify as something different than when you first came out? NO 13. Was anyone surprised when you came out or did people seem to already know? No everyone was surprised but they were happy because they were tired of me being with guys who were running me crazy instead of loving me for me. 14. Has coming out lost you any friends? Yes… My best friend Kalie – I swear we aren’t friends because she felt like we had nothing in common since I would tell her about guys choking her while having sex wasn’t because I was with a girl bc I would tell her the same advice when I was single and sexing boys. Disrespect is disrespect idc who I am dating who what I believe. It sucked but life goes on. 15. How soon after meeting someone do you usually tell them about your sexuality? When they ask for my number or to hang out. If it’s a girl I tell them when we start getting to know one another. Or if we are in public I introduce myself and then I introduce my fiancé shelby 16. How difficult do you find it to sympathize with straight women? It’s not difficult because I was once that girl and we still think like women. 17. Have you ever wished you were completely straight? No I love who I am 18. Agree or disagree: Everyone is at least a little bit gay. Females I agree 19. If you are not a lesbian, about what percentage of the time do you find yourself attracted to other girls? I am 100% attracted to Shelby other women I would say 40%. 20. Do you think it is possible to be a true 50/50 bisexual, or is the percentage always skewed towards one gender?  I feel like you can be 50/50 but I only want Shelby at all times. 21. How often do you find yourself trying to sneak a peek or stare at a cute girl? Never 22. How accurate is your gaydar? I am usually right

RELATIONSHIPS & DATING: 23. What is your current relationship status? Engaged 24. What is the longest relationship you’ve been in? Are you still with that person? We are working toward 3 years and yessss I am happily with her.. 25. Do you remember anything about the first time you kissed another girl? I have peked a girl before but really kissed a girl only once which was with my fiancé and it was magical. 26. Are you a virgin? If not, what gender did you lose your virginity to? To both sexes and No I am not 27. What is your ideal first date? Romantic and thought out 28. What personality trait are you most attracted to? Outgoing 29. How flirty are you? I am kind of a flirter from time to time 30. Would you ever want to get married, if not already? Yes to the one I love 31 Do you want have children someday? Yes I want to have 2 and Shelby have 1 or 2 and us adopt 1. Which will give us a odd number so I will or Shelby will have to have another child to have a even number. 32. Would you ever want to give birth? Yes 33. How often are you asked if you have a boyfriend? All the time 34. Have you ever liked or dated a girl with the same name as you? Karlisha is a rare name soooo no 35. Have you ever been on your period the same time as a girlfriend? Yes we use to be all the time. 36. Have you and a girlfriend ever been mistaken for sisters? Yes in the Dominican republic 37. Have you ever been in a long distance relationship? Yes when Shelby left for Luxemburg Germany 38. Have you ever dated a guy? Not really just sexed them 39. Has a girl ever dumped you for a guy? Have you? No 40. Has another girl ever hit on you? OMG yes 41. Have you ever had a crush on a straight girl? NO 42. Have you ever had a crush on a woman who’s significantly older than you? Yes 43. Would you ever date a trans woman? Idk 44. Have you ever had a profile on a LGBT dating website or app? NO 45. Where do you think is the best place to meet a potential lover? College that’s where I met mine 46. Do you consider yourself a hopeless romantic? Not really but I know Shelby is so I try to be from time to time.

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE: 47. Have you ever cut your hair super short? If not, would you ever want to? Shortest I have had my hair is to my shoulders 48. Is your nose pierced? Use to be when I was in high school, I did it myself. 49. What is your opinion on septum/bull nose piercings?  Idk if a person have them I wouldn’t date them and I would never have it for myself. 50. Do you have any tattoos? If so, of what and where? no 51. How muscular are you? Very 52. Are you or have you ever been a tomboy? Yes when I was younger 53. Have you ever been told that you don’t look gay, or that you’re too pretty to be gay? Yes all the time 54. Have you ever been mistaken as a dude? NO

FASHION STYLE: 55. Do you wear skirts and dresses? If so, how often? All the time 56. Do you wear high heels? If so, how often?Yes I have the on now 57. How much jewelry do you typically wear? A lot I love Jewelry 58. How much makeup do you typically wear? Mascara, eyeshadow, and sometime Foundation but not much. I usually wear it once a week, if that. 59. How often do you wear a bra? Every day 60. How often do you wear flannel? Once a month if that 61. Have you ever worn a suit? no 62. Do you wear any shoes such as combat boots, Doc Martins or Timberlands? no 63. Do you carry a purse? Yes I love my purses 64. Do you wear any hats such as snapbacks or beanies? no 65. Have you ever worn any men’s clothing? Yes when I had to sneak in the dorm with Alex Standford 66. Have you ever dressed in complete drag? No I am a girl 67. Have you ever shared clothes with a girlfriend? Yes I have 68. If you want to get married, do you think you will wear a dress? Most definitely.

ENTERTAINMENT: 69. Who is your favorite LGBT celebrity? Queen Latifa 70. Have you ever watched The L Word? Yes lol 71. Have you ever watched Will & Grace? No 72. Have you ever watched RuPaul’s Drag Race? No 73. How well do you feel LGBT women are portrayed on television? Very good specially in Grey’s anatomy 74. Do you listen to any LGBT musicians (i.e. Tegan & Sara, Melissa Etheridge, Chely Wright, Elton John, Sam smith, George Michael, Adam Lambert)? Sam Smith 75. Do you watch any LGBT YouTubers? Yes 76. Do you have a favorite LGBT themed movie? Yes 77. Do you have a favorite LGBT themed blog or website? no 78. Do you read any LGBT magazines? no 79. Have you read any LGBT themed literature? If so, do you have any recommendations? NO 80. Is there such a thing as “good” lesbian porn? Yes some.

THIS OR THAT: 81. Boobs or butts? Boobds 82. Beer or wine? Wine 83. Ellen or Portia? Ellen

BEING (SOMEWHAT) RANDOM: 84. How much do you like cats? Hate them 85. Have you ever been to a gay bar or a gay club? NO 86. How many LGBT friends do you have? NONE 87. Do you have any LGBT relatives? Yes 88. Have you ever used any words (or variations of) such as lesbian, queer, gay, or homosexual as a password? Yes 89. How outdoorsy are you? Not really I try 90. Have you ever driven an SUV, Jeep, or pickup truck? Yes 91. How many rainbow items do you own? NONE 92. Have you ever celebrated National Coming Out Day (Oct. 11)? OMG Yes 93. Have you ever participated in the National Day of Silence? NO 94. Have you ever attended a GSA (Gay Straight Alliance) type of club?no 95. Have you ever attended a PFLAG (Parents & Friends of Lesbians and Gays) meeting?didnt know they had that 96. Have you ever attended a gay or lesbian wedding? NOT yet but I will have my own in a few years 97. Have you ever been part of a softball team? no 98. Do you skateboard or longboard at all? no 99. Do you play any video games? Yes

FROM 1-10, HOW ATTRACTIVE ARE: 100. Muscular women? 5 101. Women who wear glasses? 5 102. Women who are covered with tattoos? 8 103. Women who are covered with piercings? It depends.. Nipples 10… Other things that are ugly 2 104. Curvy/plus-sized women? 2 105. Women with short hair? 6 106. Highly intelligent women? 10 107. Tall women (i.e. around 1.83 meters/6 feet or taller)? OH yessssss huge turn on 10 108. Masculine/butch women? 4

GETTING SERIOUS: 109. What does equality mean to you?
All people are equal no matter of sexuality, color, or anything 110. Do you consider yourself a feminist? Yes 111. Do you eat meat at all? yes 112. Are you religious at all? yes 113. Did you vote for Hillary Clinton? yes 114. How do you feel when platonic female friends refer to each other as girlfriends? Oh I don’t care 115. How do you feel when people use the word gay to mean things such as stupid, dumb, boring, or idiotic? OH I don’t care 116. Are you comfortable with terms such as lezzie, lesbo, dyke, homo, or tranny? I wouldn’t use them but others who effing cares 117. What are your views on gender identity and bathroom use? A bathroom has so many germs I have more things to worry about such as wiping my toilet idc who uses what bathroom. I don’t have gender issues but I have used the mens bathroom because the womens bathroom was full. 118. Do you have any opinions on LGBT people in the military? I salute them because they have fought for our country just like the straight people. 119. Have you ever been called a gay slur? no 120. Have you ever been queer bashed? no 121. Have you ever been discriminated against because of your sexuality or gender identity? If so, please explain. Yes by friends, jobs, everything and honestly idc. 122. Does it really get better? I think it only gets better based on what you decide to participate in and what you allow to bother you. If you keep your head up then its not going to bother you as bad as people who continue to allow the haters to hate and continue to move forward in their career. 123. How did you feel on June 26, 2015? OMG thankful. We love you OBAMA 124. How accepting of LGBT people is the city/community you live in?

It’s coming around  but people still look, they stare they turn around and make comments and I am like Eff you IDGAF anymore 125. Have you ever tried to “pray the gay away”? Yes I have 126. How annoyed are you with how heteronormative society is? It’s annoying. I hate the question, tell me about being gay uhhhh how about you tell me about being straight.? Like wtf why do people ask that damn question. Or since you are Gay do you still think guys are cute or do you find me attractive as your friend? UH no! I don’t like you. I like my partner we can still be friends but I see we can’t because you aren’t confident in your own body that you can’t hang out with 1 gay girl or bisexual;. It’s so annoying 127. What LGBT stereotype do you most disagree with? Since you are LGBT that you are weird or that you aren’t a religious person that’s not true AT ALL! Also, I hate when they say, oh you must like all women or all men uhhh do I like all women or men if I was straight? Do you? Okay then STFU!! 128. Is there anything about the LGBT community that you wish you knew before coming out? Nope I love it. I don’t like Pride because I feel like that’s how we get disrespected since people run out but overall I love everything about my life. 129. What advice would you give to a girl who is struggling to figure out her sexuality? Take your time, but don’t change for NO ONE!!! Be your own happiness and love yourself more then anyone else will love you… Ignore the comments and focus on the good!!! Also stay a great person and keep your head up! 130. What advice would you give yo a girl who is struggling to come out?

Bite the bullet and just take the jump and come out in a way you are comfortable. If you continue to hide you are still lying. Lying to your family, friends and most importantly to yourself. Be respectful and give your family and friends time to gather themselves but always be true to yourself because out of all people YOU deserve that.

 Love is patient, love is kind – I am not crying on Sundays!!!  Same Love - Macklemore <3