#and b) barely enough energy to do basic self care/hygiene

[nixerium]

Ah yes, gotta love the recent hit game of “can I shower or will that take most of my energy”

Especially since it’s a trick question anyways

[timedunce]

Physical

Part three of my personal glo up posts, this one’s about my physical being and surroundings.

a. Health

This part will cover my personal health improvement goals. Everyone’s body is different, what works for me may not for you. Good luck on your own self improvement journey. :)

a.1 Water

Drink it! Why are you not drinking water it is literally the key to life????!!!!!

But in all seriousness, I struggle to remember to drink my water. I’m a caffeine addict, but I get it from soda because I think coffee is gross. (No hating, we all got different taste buds.) So I’m gonna set timers, to remind me to drink, keep a bottle close by, and fill my Filter Pitcher in the fridge so it’s clean and cold.

a.2 Eat Healthier

Sounds so simple, doesn’t it? And yet here I am with a fridge full of take out.

I need to Meal Plan by the week, and keep rotations of healthy options in the freezer. I gotta take my vitamins, get that protein.

a.3 Exercise

This ones gonna be very different for me than most people, due to some health issue that limit my activity levels. But I won’t let them keep me from doing my best. (NOTE: Doing your best does not mean passing out on the floor in a pool of sweat/vomit. It doesn’t even mean pushing so hard you can barely move the next day you’re so sore.)

I can walk, do yoga, and good days can include some squats. Bad days may include stretching, or even just the walk to the kitchen for food.

a.4 POTS

Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome. When I go from lying to sitting, or sitting to standing, my heart rate jumps, my blood pressure drops, and if I’m not careful I will pass out. This has led to some awkward instances of being found in a heap on the floor half dressed. 0/10 do not recommend.

Management includes: drinking tons of water, consuming more salt than most people, moderating my spent Energy, and planning ahead my activities.

a.5 Periods

Mother Nature, Aunt Flo, the Cleaning Crew, Satan’s Waterfall... However you choose to refer to it, your period is gonna suck. Sorry.

I need to plan ahead; keep an eye on arrival dates, carry pads/tampons, Pain Killers, and spare clothes. More than once I’ve been out and had to buy new underwear, or worse, borrow some at a friends house. Trust me, carry spare clothes.

b. Appearance

Ah, vanity. I care what people think of me. Sometimes too much. But this also covers basic hygiene as well.

b.1 Body

Step one, shower. I know, you can take a bath as well, but if I’m dirty or sweaty I don’t want to feel like I’m stewing in a cauldron of my own filth. Blegh. 

While I’m in there plotting the end of world hunger and performing my latest concert, I might as well exfoliate and shave. The decision to shave is up to you, of course, but I hate it when my jeans snag one of my leg hairs and yank. 

Once I’m done, moisturize with lotion or vaseline, apply a fragrance and deodorant.

Step two of body care, Sleep. Do it. At least 8 hours of it.

b.2 Hair

(If you have any.)

Shampoo, Condition, regular Trims. Basics.

The occasional hair mask never hurts.

b.3 Nails

Keep those suckers trimmed! You can keep them long, or short, but maintain even lengths, trim them when they break.

Then feel free to paint them, if you want, even spring for the professional job once in a while.

b.4 Clothes

Clothes require maintenance. Wash and dry them according to the recommendations on the tags. When they wear through, repair or replace them.

b.5 Skincare

Your skin is a pretty good indicator of whats going on in the rest of your body. Sudden breakouts can be cause by hormone changes, nutrient deficiencies, or stress.

Be sure to wash your face regularly, and spot treat as necessary. 

Go the extra mile and exfoliate, use a moisturizer, masks, a toner. I like Aloe Vera gel.

Wear that sunscreen!

b.6 Make Up

Another personal choice. You want to wear it, go for it! Experiment a bit, watch some tutorials. Just be sure to replace the old stuff, and remove it before bed.

b.7 Teeth

Teeth. My old nemesis. I don’t know if it’s a bad case of Executive Dysfunction, or if I just hate myself, but I struggle with maintaining my teeth. And you would think my paralyzing fear of dentists would be a motivator...

Again, this is basics. BRUSH, Floss, Mouthwash, Breath-mints when out during the day. Simple enough, right?

c. Cleanliness

This section is general cleanliness. Clean me, clean house...

c.1 Hygiene

Already been mostly covered.

Shower, Teeth, Self Care Days.

c.2 Kitchen

Wash or clean the: Dishes, Pantry, do Shopping Inventory, Fridge, Trash, Counters, Floors.

c.3 Bathroom

Clean the: Toilet, Shower, Sink, Mirror, Floor, replace Toilet Paper, Shopping Inventory

c.4 Bedrooms

Pick up: Clothes, Bed, Dresser, Floors

c.5 Living Areas

Clean the: Tables, Seating, Storage, Floors

Part One Part Two

[autstudy]

Hey, do you have any tips for dealing with severe anxiety about everything and/or fatigue + burnout and/or procrastination and perfectionism? This makes no sense because I’m typing it at 1am but help please I’m struggling

Hi, sorry it took me so long to answer this. November is a very busy month for me so I barely have time (and energy) to set up the queue. I do have some time right now so I’ll try to give you a good reply.

For fatigue, it’s important to consider a lot of the factors. 

Are you getting enough sleep? Eight hours is the standard, but it isn’t true for everyone. Some people require more, some people are okay with less, and for some one long period of uninterrupted sleep is not the best option and extra naps or breaks in between sleeping are needed. I have a post here about dealing with sleeping disorders, and you can search my blog for more info too.

Is your nutrition fulfilling all your body’s needs? You need calories, a good balance of proteins, carbs and fats, and also a whole list of macro- and micronutrients. If good healthcare is accessible to you, get a blood test to check whether you have any deficiencies. If it isn’t, (and just in general) make sure you eat a diverse diet and as much unprocessed food as you can afford/have time to cook, and you can take vitamin C and vitamin B supplements too (those are water-soluble vitamins so it’s very hard to overdose on them). Anemia, vitamin B and vitamin D deficiencies often cause fatigue, so it’s worth checking for that.

Also many neurodivergent people are hypo-sensitive to hunger and thirst signals, so sometimes it makes sense to pay more attention to how much you eat and drink. A good indicator of your hydration levels is the color of your pee - it should be a pretty mild shade of yellow. If you can’t drink pure water (which is best for you), drink any beverage of your choice - it’s all okay, as long as you aren’t consuming too much simple sugar or caffeine.

On that note, overusing caffeine can make you feel hella tired when you crash. My rule of thumb is no more than two coffees or black teas a day, and nothing with caffeine 6 hours before bed.

For autistic people, the need to pass as neurotypical (and socialization in general) can burn up a lot of energy. If it is like that for you, try to limit the time you have to spend with people - as long as you aren’t isolating yourself or starting to feel lonely. It’s crucial to have people in your life who you can be yourself with. I know it’s easier said than done, but honestly, even spending some time with a pet or chatting to a friend online can feel better than having to pass in uni/college.

Not enough exercise is a common culprit when it comes to fatigue. If your health and time limitations don’t allow you to hit the gym or join a sports team, you can get plenty of exercise by just walking. Five hours of energetic walking a week is usually enough to get the benefits of exercise. Bonus points if you have a park or a forest nearby - studies show that being close to nature makes us calmer somehow, and although it doesn’t work for everyone, it’s worth a shot.

There are many disorders that can cause constant fatigue - from depression to metabolic disorders like diabetes, being tired is a very common symptom. I’m not saying you must have a disorder of some sort, but again, if you make all of these lifestyle changes and you still feel tired all the time, it’s worth checking in with a healthcare professional.

As for severe anxiety - I’m in the same boat as you, and it’s pretty complicated. There are short-term and long-term solutions. Long-term solutions involve contacting a specialist, whether a psychologist or a psychiatrist, and discussing your options for therapy and/or meds. For me, cognitive behavioral therapy was very helpful. It might take a while to see results, but in the end it is definitely worth it.

For short-term, I’m a strong advocate of routine. I think it’s one of the best things you can do to feel better - less anxious, less tired, etc - and get more things done too. It doesn’t have to be very strict, though many autistic people naturally form strict routines, and it should incorporate self-care (sleep, nutrition, personal hygiene, exercise, taking care of your living space, etc), sensory diet and some fun activities as well. For me it is a huge relief to always know what I am supposed to be doing, and it ensures that I get all necessary things done. There are also many tips, tricks and techniques for dealing with anxiety - again, search this blog for posts about it.

I have a lot of posts about burnout as well. Depending on how severe it is, you can either make changes to your current lifestyle to reduce the amount of responsibility (drop some classes, ask others for help with home maintenance, etc) and give your body and mind time to rest, or speak to your teachers/tutors/school administration and ask them to give you an academic leave. 

Procrastinating is too broad of a topic to cover in one reply. I’ll sound like a broken record at this point but I have a lot of posts on this blog - try typing key words into the search bar and take a look at what you may find. If you have a more specific question, feel free to ask (though I won’t guarantee I’ll answer immediately). Perfectionism is complex too, and I struggle with it a lot, so honestly I’d appreciate it if followers shared their advice on how to deal with it.

Basically I hate it cause it sounds so rude but the summary of this reply is take care of yourself and search up some articles on specific issues that you deal with. It’s very hard to give personalized advice when I don’t know your whole situation, and I am not a professional or a specialist, so all I can do is share basic info and refer you to all of the content I’ve been collecting on this blog.

If followers have anything to add, please do.

[kimnjss]

heartbreaker!hoseok | a-z

⤑  series: heartbreaker

⤑ genre: smut, stoner!hoseok x cheerleader!reader, college au.

⤑ rating: explicit. // nd unedited.

⤑ warnings: smut talk... (mentions of) dirty talk, teasing, use of toys, oral sex (f/m. receiving), pain, breath play, penetrative sex, cumplay, masturbation, public sex, flexibility kink...

⤑ A/N: this one’s late as hell and i know it... honestly, highkey forgot that i even do these in the first place. here it is now thooo!!

A = Aftercare (what's he like after sex):

It's like he's taken an energy shot. Hoseok would be hopping up and ready to figure out what's next after the two of you fucked. There's no set time where you guys usually do it, but it happens midday more often than not. It's like his own way of recharging and it works wonders.

B = Body Part (his favorite body part of his and also yours):

Without a doubt, it would have to be your whole body. But, not just the way that it looks, but the way that you move it. He lives for the fact that you're flexible and you know what to do with it and he's always shocked when he gets your body to bend in a new way.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum basically...):

You don't let him cum inside at all, always using a condom since you neglected to the first time the two of you were spending the night together. There were times that he'd pull out when he was close, just before he was falling apart, to take the condom off and finish somewhere on your body. On your ass was his favorite, it was like painting a pretty picture.

D = Dirty Secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of his):

He falls in love with you every time you two are together. A strong believer of transferring energies during sex now, and he's convinced it happened every single time when he was with you. And that simple act alone was everything to make him fall more in love with you.

E = Experience (how experienced is he? does he know what he's doing?):

Hoseok is a lot more experienced than you, but it doesn't entirely feel like it. He's more comfortable when it comes to sex and he's not afraid to suggest trying out new things in the bedroom, but he makes sure to never make it seem like the two of you aren't on the same level. He takes his time with you and always makes sure that you're comfortable before he's trying something.

F = Favorite Position (this goes without saying...):

Lotus... with a twist. He had discovered his liking for this position one day when you were riding him. You had gotten tired of moving your hips so he sat up to do get you both the rest of the way. He had no idea you'd be sneaking your legs onto his shoulders, folding himself in half as he fucked into you. And the fact that you could still manage to move your hips, easy to say he was making that a common occurrence after that.

G = Goofy (is he more serious in the moment, or is he humorous, etc.):

He's not really jokey, because that's not his personality... but he's not too serious when it comes to sex. He likes having fun and keeping things light, he doesn't take himself too serious and that alone is enough to make you feel more comfortable with letting loose when the two of you are together.

H = Hair (how well-groomed is he, does the carpet match the drapes? how does he like you?):

Very, very neat. It's at the top of his personal hygiene list. Never completely bare, but Hoseok made sure to keep his hairs trimmed and washed. You've never seen him at an unkempt state and he had no intentions to let it even get to that point. As for you, he liked it most with the hair out of the way, didn't care how you kept the top – but he liked where he was eating to be smooth.

I = Intimacy (how is he in the moment, romantic aspect...):

Hoseok was romantic and a not so obvious way. He'd catch himself saying things that could make ones heart flutter and looking at you like you're the most important thing to him (you are). There's never really any real romantic set up, no dim lit candles of the sort. Just the two of you, which was all the romance you needed.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon):

It's not really his thing. Of course he did it from time to time, but overall he preferred to have you there with him. He didn't even really like handjobs that much even when they were coming for you. They were cool for under the table petting, but he would be quick to suggest skipping it when you were getting down to the real business.

K = Kink (one or more of his kinks):

Flexibility kink? It just really does it for him to see you move in a way that most people really can't. Much worse when you're still in your cheer uniform, perhaps showing him new tricks that you learned that day or just practicing a routine. It wouldn't be long before he's whisking you away to be alone.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do):

The living room of his place. Since he lived alone, he could do it pretty much anywhere he pleased. Yet, the two of you always seemed to find the couch in his living room as your safe place. Whether it was heavy petting while the two of you watched movies or full on riding him while his latest playlist played in the background, that couch has been through a lot.

M = Motivation (what turns him on, gets him going):

Watching you practice. You hardly let him come to your practices anymore because he turns into such a horndog after them, you're forced to cancel the rest of your plans. He seems to forget how to control himself after watching you do spins and flips on the field in your short skirt.

N = NO (something he wouldn't do, turn offs):

Pain or any type of breath play. Never really understood it and didn't want to try. You never really seemed to have much interest in it either, so it's not a huge deal that he is ready to shoot down the idea if it comes up. The most he'd do is set his hand on your neck, but no squeezing!

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.):

Giving. And mainly because he thinks you look a lot prettier when he's looking from between your legs. You're also one to grab at his hair and push his face closer into your heat and he's obsessed with the way that you rub your pussy against his face. And the sounds that you make when you're close? It's his favorite thing.

P = Pace (is he fast and rough? slow and sensual? Etc.):

It depends on the mood and how turned on he is. Most times he likes to take his time and fully enjoy himself, other times he just wants to hurry up and cum because it feels like he's been waiting for so long. Either way, he always made sure to take care of you first and if he wasn't – he would not hesitate to settle his face between your legs.

Q = Quickie (his opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often... etc.):

They're cool, but not enough for him. Something like an appetizer to him and he wouldn't be satisfied if that was all he was getting for the day. He'd rather have the space to take his time if he wanted, rather than feeling rushed.

R = Risk (is he game to experiment, does he take risks):

There weren't many things that he was completely against and he was really good with letting you know what those things were, so when you're wanting to try something new – it's always something that you feel that he'd enjoy. The simple fact that you want to experiment is what excites him the most, though.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can he go for, how long does he last...):

It depends on the day, honestly. He likes to take his time sometimes and really appreciate your body, which means one long round... consisting of multiple orgasms from you. Then other times he he can't seem to get enough, so even after he's finished, it's only a matter of minutes before he's ready for another round.

T = Toy (does he own toys? does he use them? on a partner or himself?):

Has never really been into using toys, until you're suggesting a little bullet vibrator being added into the mix. He likes to hold it to your clit just to watch the way you spasm as you cum. It's even better when you've got your legs wrapped around him, laying on your back. He can feel the little waves all the way to the tip of his dick.

U = Unfair (how much does he like to tease?):

Not really teasing. He liked to hear you ask for what you want, but most times he was so turned on teasing would just be no fun for him. Prompting you to tell him what you want and how you want it was fun for him though, considering you don't really get too vocal when it comes to sex.

V = Volume (how loud is he, what sounds does he make?):

Hoseok's very loud and he moans a lot. Doesn't really care who hears and really lets himself go when he's with you. Panted words of praise were always falling from his lips as he came too, he always made sure to tell you how good you were making him feel and also how much he loved you for making him feel this good.

W = Wild Card

He has a secret fantasy of fucking you on the football field while you're wearing your cheer uniform. He's fucked you in the outfit before, but something about being in the middle of such an open area was exciting to him. Whether or not there would be an audience didn't really matter, he'd just be focusing on you either way.

X = X-Ray (let's see what's going on in those pants, pictures or words):

He's long, but not too thick. Unless he was hard, he seemed to grow thicker rather than longer while he was hard. A shower, so it wasn't hard to make out his imprint through his sweatpants. And he didn't really care much to hide it, no matter how much it tempted you to sneak your hand down his pants.

Y = Yearning (how high is his sex drive?):

Hoseok is always down to fuck when it comes to you. You could be cocking your brow in a certain way and he's ready to go. And since it's like recharging when he's inside of you, he can go for a long time. Always coming up with new things to try that he didn't get to in the round before, might as well clear your schedule just to fuck him.

Z = Zzz... (how quickly does he fall asleep afterwards?):

If he's high, he's falling asleep right after. Most times he's not considering he's trying to cut back the more he thinks about getting back into dancing. With all the energy he gets after fucking you, though, he's really quick to jump up and suggest going out to eat or going for a drive while you're still trying to catch your breath.