#and at this point all i can say is that's nice and go back again to my phone. but hes not taking the hint

[woso-dreamzzz]

Head In The Clouds: Christmas

Barcelona Femení x Teen!Reader

Summary: Christmas with Mcdreamy

"No! Don't touch!"

Irene yelps as a wooden spatula slams onto her knuckles.

"I just-"

"No!" You insist, waving the spatula around again in warning. "This is my kitchen! Don't touch!"

"I can help!"

"No! Go!"

Irene looks like she wants to argue more but you raise the spatula again and she puts her hands up in a placating manner as she backs away onto the sofa.

Marta holds out a tray of tiny sausages to her. "You got kicked out of the kitchen too?"

"I was just trying to help."

Marta shrugs. "You know what she's like. Nothing comes between her and cooking."

"I swear she's been cooking for ages," Irene complains," She was up early too, I just know it."

"You can't prove it though," Patri says smugly, snatching some food for herself and munching away," Plausible deniability and all that."

"She needs a break."

"Don't bring that up with her," Frido says as she takes a seat on the arm of the sofa," You know she'd spend hours in that kitchen if she could. That's what we get for agreeing to dinner with a kid who's parents are chefs."

"No touching!" You yell from the kitchen and the little group cranes their hands to see your waving that spatula around in Alexia's face.

"I was just-"

"No! You're ruining! You're not allowed to touch! It's against the rules!"

"What rules?"

"My rules! The rules of my kitchen! That you are standing in!"

"Come on, just let me-"

"No!"

Irene smothers a laugh as you stamp your foot.

"You can fill up drinks or you can go away."

Keira laughs from the cosy armchair. "I'd listen to her, Ale! You're not going to get the best food if you distract her."

Alexia grumpily wedges herself onto the already over-full sofa. "I'm just trying to help. She's making this dinner for the whole team. I don't want her to get overwhelmed."

Keira rolls her eyes. "Her parents literally have Michelin stars. She grew up in the kitchen of world famous restaurants. I doubt doing a bit of cooking at home is going to overwhelm her."

Just as she finishes speaking, ten different timers ring out through the air, one after another, and Keira winces.

"I'm sure that's on purpose," She says as Alexia levels her a pointed look.

To be fair to you, you're not overwhelmed in the slightest and Alexia can see the moment the instinct takes over you like it does on the pitch, when everything around you completely disappears apart from what is directly in front of you.

Most of the time, it ends with a goal.

But here and now, it ends with the biggest spread of food she's ever seen cooked by one person before.

It's truly impressive what you've managed to produce for everyone, a buffet style meal that the whole team can pick and choose what they want from and still come back for seconds.

"You shouldn't eat too much," You say as you settle into your seat between Irene and Ingrid," Because I've got dessert as well. It's my Nana's recipe and I'd like you all to try it."

"We'll make sure to save room," Mapi promises as she reaches over the table to wrestle the stuffing away from Patri's clingy hands.

You beam at her. It's a wide smile, the same smile you get when you score a goal out of nowhere - making triumph out of nothing as you so often do after a pass that no one expects you to turn into an assist.

A big meal like this isn't a strange thing in your family back home. Your brothers are very busy people and your parents spend most of their time prepping for the dinner service of their restaurant every night.

But Christmas meant the whole family got together again. With your brothers mainly based in the Netherlands, you didn't see them as often until you and your parents were at arrivals at Heathrow Airport and the three of them came in after baggage claim.

With the family together again, it meant making a feast of a meal for Christmas with everyone in the kitchen, working around each other fluidly like your parents had taught you when you were little.

It felt nice to share this kind of meal with your teammates even after you came to the conclusion that none of them worked particularly fluidly in your kitchen and then had to get banned for your own peace of mind.

It filled you with pride to have your teammates eating and enjoying your food to such a degree that even the older, more responsible players like Marta and Alexia and Irene asked if you could box up some of the meal so they could eat some for leftovers the next day.

"You know," Alexia says when you finally allow her into your kitchen, if only to help you wash up," If you want to stay in Spain for Christmas, I can take you home with me. My family would love the food you cook."

"Don't joke around with stuff like that," Irene teases, dragging the drying up cloth over the plate that Mapi had just finished cleaning," Because if she's coming home with anyone for Christmas, it'll be me."

"I can't," You say simply as you put the lid on another portion of leftovers, this time for Salma," Because I've got to go home. My parents are closing the restaurant a couple of days early so we can pick up my brothers from the airport and I can't miss that."

"Well-"

"And I have to be home so my girlfriend can call and read me poetry on Christmas Eve. It's tradition."

"That's..." Irene clears her throat. "That's really sweet."

"And she always reads to me in French because she knows I'm trying to learn for her. So, I can't stay here because then I won't see my brothers and before my girlfriend reads me poetry, she likes seeing my pets at home and I can't show her my pets if I'm here."

Alexia laughs and you furrow your brows in confusion.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing," Alexia says, throwing an arm around your shoulder and squeezing you like she does when you score a goal," You're such a sweetheart, y/n. Don't ever change."

[antimony-medusa]

But what do you MEAN this fic where blorbo gets mind controlled might be kinky?

So I am kind of famous for saying that this fandom has a lot of untagged kinks and I get people in my notes pretty regularly going YES I"M BEGGING YOU TAG IT or YOU"RE DERANGED THIS IS PLATONIC, etc. Lots of strong emotions. But I also get people who are going uh, I knew something was going on, but I couldn't really identify it— what do you mean exactly? What kinks are you seeing?

So, this post is breaking down things I've seen and how in some cases, they start to cross the line into kink territory. These are all things that were being done platonically— no dicks were out, everybody's clothes were on (in most cases, not always with the dehumanization tropes)— but the focus of the narrative started to place special weight on specific features, experiences, or concepts— there were extended paragraphs that served no narrative purpose except to dwell on something— in a way that I started to go "the point of this fic is the squiggly feeling the author or reader gets on reading about this specific setup— this is getting kinky". And that is fine, I am not placing any moral weight on engaging in kinks— people just get wired sometimes to really like the concept of bondage— but a) sometimes it would be nice to get a heads up as a reader, b) if you like these things— there are tags out there that are FULL of this concept, you might like to do it or search it out on purpose.

So I asked some friends what things have they found in platonic fics that they went "ah. yeah. something is happening here", and this post is the result. A lot of these things don't exist in the real world or people don't necessarily want them to happen in the real world/to them, so it's understandable that a person can miss how they'd started to morph and become something new. But when we talk about kink in fiction we're often talking about things that either can't or we don't want to happen in real life, it's just that reading about them/writing them scratches our brain.

And also, to be clear, in no way do I mean that if you've written these concepts then you definitely have been writing kink. There are vanilla ways to do all of these concepts, and sometimes the idea of dehumanization is interesting to you from a narrative standpoint, for example. You can also engage with them in a non-sexual way— many ace people are very kinky— so I'm not saying that you've secretly been writing porn OR writing something you have a real desire to happen to you. Just to make that clear. However, if you keep coming back to a specific setup for writing or reading, it might be worth investigating if certain things scratch your brain in a specific way.

So.

Blorbo gets mind controlled and there's a detailed breakdown of their descent into this altered state and then they're just so biddable and out of it and vulnerable and the narrative places weight either on someone taking advantage of them in this state, taking care of them, or their own subjective experience having lost control: this is hypnokink. Hypnokink or mind control— lots of ways to do it, but there is a thriving hypnosis or hypnokink scene that you might want to look into. Sometimes this is played for horror, but even the horror stuff can be kinky if played in a certain way. This falls under a larger umbrella of "altered states" that is very popular.

Blorbo gets drugged/intoxicated, often against their will, and heavy narrative weight is placed on their experience while drunk/drugged and unable to control themselves or conceptualize what is happening: this is intox kink. Another altered state— and again this is sometimes used for horror, but even the horror can give you the special tinglies if the dread is mixed with something.

Blorbo is turned into a vampire or taken by a vampire, gets drunk from or drinks blood, and there's specific narrative focus on how good the blood tastes, blood from a wound trickling down over someone's body and maybe being licked up, a hunger being sated— so vampires are a longstanding trope that can be done in a strictly horror way, but a LOT of vampire tropes are deeply kinky along the ideas of possession, loss of bodily autonomy, fear/desire, and consumption. This, for example, I have definitely read dipping into bloodplay or consumption kink. Sometimes blood drinking scenes are directly metaphorical for sex, including narrative tension building to a release where someone feels so good, but also there are other elements, such as a focus on blood that gets kinky.

Blorbo has wings that get preened, and it feels so good they can't hold back instinctive movements and sounds (maybe bird sounds) and they're so grateful and bond so much with the person doing it with them— This is wing kink. This is actually the first trope in this fandom that I identified that some things were happening with, because I was reading these fics that had been recommended to me as family fluff going— am I crazy or is something else happening here? Wingfic has been broadly used as a platonic/familial trope in this fandom, however, the structure of the scenes in which it is written about sometimes has heavy crossover with wingfic in other fandoms, where they are using it as a smut trope— the fic just didn't have anyone literally orgasm at the end. But if there's involuntary sounds or movement from the person with the wings, a focus on how pleasurable it feels, a feeling of release or rightness that someone gives the person with wings, and then they cuddle afterwards— yeah.

Blorbo is terrified and chased by a monster of some kind, with a heavy focus on how frightened they are, how inexorable the monster is, and something bad going to happen, and/or the monster chasing them enjoying their terror— this can just be horror. OR it can be fear play or predator/prey. Sometimes it's both.

Blorbo is confronted by monsters (perhaps giants or aliens) who are much bigger than them and the threat of being eaten by them is narratively focused on, either bitten or swallowed whole. Sometimes in the narrative the eating happens, either safely or to their death— this is vore. Being eaten alive is also a horror trope so it isn't always vore, but it is sometimes most certainly vore.

Aliens or monsters/hybrids much bigger than blorbo have them as family/friends/romantic partners/captives: this is giant/tiny. Sometimes just a science fiction au but if there's a lot of weight being placed on how big they are and how small blorbo is, this could be g/t. Borrower aus can frequently start to fall into this category. If they're not THAT big but there's focus on things like "oh they can span my waist with one hand", this can be size kink, instead. (Note that to my knowledge the platonic version is giant/tiny and sexual is micro/macro— there's a thriving platonic scene I sometimes see when I'm cruising tags, so if you like this you might want to check that out.)

Blorbo is non-consensually touched, cuddled, or modified, and narrative focus is placed on this as a violation/outrage/loss of bodily autonomy: again, this is something that can just be a horror trope, but there is often a larger or smaller strain of consent issues in it. If blorbo doesn't want it at first but eventually feels at home in the nest and feels good, that's dubcon (dubious consent), and if they are fighting it and raging against it and will never be part of your family, that starts to overlap with noncon (non-consent). Blorbo's bodily autonomy is being non-consentually violated, which would put it under the consent issues umbrella. I think many people writing these tropes are simply focusing on captivity and bad things happening to blorbo— when one is a prisoner they automatically lose bodily autonomy, and I don't think that every fic set in a dungeon requires a consent issues tag— and additionally many people are writing from family settings that include bodily autonomy being violated (being forced to hug your aunt you don't want to hug, for example, is an example that many of us have experienced). Not every example of non-consensual touching is always consent issues. However, when the narrative focus is on the outrage and betrayal of it all, the loss of control, and/or the helplessness, this can start to serve a different narrative function in a story than simply illustrating that a family is touchy. I have read scenes that structurally function as a thinly-veiled metaphor for sexual assault, including things like blorbo being held down while they fight against what is being done to their body. Some of these could have used additional tagging. Note: because this is such a hot button topic I should mention that if you like writing or reading this I do not think that means you are a fan of violence happening in the real world— a) reading a bad thing happening on the page makes it containable and controllable in a way that the real world does not, people also like to read about murder and dismemberment— b) simply the presence of a happy ending tag on a fic contextualizes that the bad thing is something to be passed through in a way that again, the real world does not offer. This is a similar thing to torture, suicide, or slavery, where sometimes you want to see blorbo have a bad fictional time specifically in things that would be terrible in real life, and in your real life you do not condone police brutality or want these things to happen. Again, sometimes people like to read about people being eaten alive, and it does not mean they condone wolves on the streets.

Blorbo is captured by alien/fae and kept as a pet, sometimes kept in a cage or collared, unable to communicate with the people holding them: this is often tagged as dehumanization and it is that, but it also starts to contain elements of pet play. If there is an emphasis on having to eat pet food, be "trained" by their owner, leashing/collaring/crating— this may be pet play.

Adult or near-adult blorbo is adopted and take care of by a new dad who knows everything to keep them safe and loves them and can take care of them and they can just let go and be their new sonboy because Dad's got them: Right. So this is sometimes just someone writing a "wouldn't it be nice to be taken care of" fantasy. Sometimes this is Daddy kink. This is almost never tagged and in some cases that I have read it certainly deserves an additional tag. An adult Daddy or Mommy figure taking care of their adult Little who can just be taken care of and not worry is a d/s trope. In some cases, where you have an established adult with a job who gets taken by magical means who then finds their true home as a powerful being's new child where they don't have to worry about their former life and they mentally find comfort in their new role as sonboy, this may also be Caregiver/Little. Direct age regression (often written by people who experience it) is usually tagged appropriately, but narrative elements that nod to that while not actually being age regression, such as an adult being now treated as a child and the narrative presenting that as good, are remarkably common and often entirely untagged in certain tags/circles. If someone could look at your fic and expect adult peers and then this happens, you should consider tagging or phrasing your summary differently.

Blorbo has hybrid instincts that overcome their cognitive functioning and make them revert to an instinctive form such that they can only be calmed/soothed by another hybrid of a different type: now this at this point is basically its own trope and I am fascinated to see if this trope expands out of MCYT as people move to new fandoms. However, it shares a startling amount of overlap with omegaverse. One of the primary draws of omegaverse for many people is the biologically determined altered states and the fated-mates aspect, and hybrids reverting to instincts and needing particular care from a perfect family is often beat for beat things I've read in omegaverse, just platonic. When you have a biologically determined "protector" figure and a biologically determined "runt" whose job is to be taken care of and to submit to the protector, and this is required to calm the protector, it also has strong overlap with BDSM aus.

Blorbo is captured or contained and tied up, and narrative emphasis is placed on their experience of being bound and struggling against restraints or just how impossible to escape from the restraints are: this is bondage. I have had friends who are into this mention that they used to tie up their barbies as children, so again, as with all of these, this can be perfectly platonic— but something about that concept just seems particularly satisfying to the writer, perhaps it is more than just set dressing.

Blorbo is captured and there is strong emphasis on them being hurt or the waves of pain rolling over them as they are tortured: this is just an honourable whump trope, but a lot of whump tropes if handled in a specific way have strong crossover with BDSM. Lack of ability to move or restriction of senses, loss of control— or, as with this, an emphasis on pain or inflicting pain, which can cover sadism or masochism depending on our POV.

Blorbo is overwhelmed and only finds comfort in submitting to the authority of someone who they completely trust, whether because of past trauma or because of hybrid instincts: this is d/s, or domination/submission. If there's specific emphasis on allowing someone to take control finally makes blorbo's head go quiet, that's subspace.

Blorbo is marked or indicated as belonging to someone, either through something like an earring or a brand/tattoo or a magical mark, so that anyone who looks at them will know that they belong to someone: again, this can just be horror, but especially if it's framed as a good/satisfying thing, it also can contain strong crossover with BDSM, especially master/slave elements.

Blorbo is transformed and corrupted, often being bodily changed into a new form by aliens or fae or mobs: this is obviously body horror, but this can also be transformation kink. This is a narrative trope in SF and horror so someone can approach this completely innocently, but when handled in less of a horror way, it can take on other undertones. If there is a strong emphasis on the innocence and unprepared nature of blorbo before being changed into what someone wants them to be, this can be corruption kink as well.

Blorbo dresses up for a fancy event and there's emphasis on how specifically they look, or maybe blorbo is looking at someone else and thinking about how THEY look in their formalwear: sometimes this is just description and/or the author likes textiles. I have also read things where I think the author would get a lot of joy out of pursuing the formalwear kink tag.

Blorbo finally gets told that they did a good job and everyone is complimentary or a specific trusted figure is complimentary, they're appreciated and loved and good: sometimes this is just someone writing a fantasy of blorbo being appreciated. Sometimes this is praise kink. If blorbo is being held by their parent or mentor or trusted elder sibling who is telling them that they're good, everyone is wrong about them, they know that they're good, this could be praise kink.

Touch-starved blorbo finally is given good touch and they are overwhelmed and don't know how to handle it and it feels so good: I did even know this was a thing until I asked for examples, but a friend let me know that this falls under the "touch sensitive" or "sensation play" umbrella. If you have spent time in a touch-starved tag, you have almost definitely seen this.

Blorbo is overwhelmed and bursts into tears and either cries a lot or heavy narrative weight is placed on them crying at important moments when it all becomes too much: this is not always, but can certainly be, dacryphilia.

Blorbo fucks up and is made fun of by all their peers, placed on centre stage and just mercilessly mocked: sometimes you are just whumping the character, and sometimes this can be humiliation kink.

Blorbo is tickled. That's the whole scene/fic. Okay so you actually may know this if you cruise character tags, but tickling is a kink and there are several blogs devoted to it on this website. If the whole point of this scene is the tickling, the character losing control and being overwhelmed, the person doing it to them having them at their control— this may be the kink.

Blorbo just keeps sneezing at inopportune times, they keep losing control and can't keep themselves from being overwhelmed by this: this can be sneeze kink.

Blorbo has finally made it to safety, maybe after a time of privation and starvation, and then there's whole scenes with an emphasis on how much they eat, how full and round they're getting, maybe them eating to the point of getting sick, maybe burping, maybe them having difficulty moving because of how much they've eaten. Food as part of recovery or safety can just be a healing trope, and food as a metaphor for love and community is a favoured tag of many of us in the fandom, but if the emphasis is especially on the eating and the getting full, how full the person feels, how much they can eat— this could be feederism.

Blorbo is injured or killed and there's a huge emphasis on the wounds, dismemberment, focus on gore and how bad it is and how much they're coming to pieces: this can be guro. If the person dies at the end of it and there's emphasis on that, this can also be snuff. Or maybe it's just gore/MCD, but some fics and some scenes dwell on it in such a way that you start to ask if this is intended to be horror or if something else is happening.

Blorbo is dressed up beautifully and looks so good in their new outfit, maybe to the point that the person who dressed them doesn't want them to move, just sit and be admired: this can be dollification, or kinking specifically on being dressed.

Blorbo is going through a medical examination and specific focus is placed on the impersonal aspect, being manhandled or examined by tools or gloved hands, they are the somewhat-dehumanized medical subject of professionals: this is sometimes horror or dehumanization, but it can also be medical kink.

__

So. As you can see. There are a lot of possible kinks that can be handled in a platonic way, but this doesn't mean they aren't kinky. This isn't even everything possible, this is just what came up when I asked the group chat what they personally have seen where they feel that a platonic fic could have used additional tagging.

I am not saying that any of this is wrong to be interested in these kinks, either. People get wired a lot of different ways and sometimes you just feel a certain way about formalwear. Or bondage. Or vore. Or tickling. My point is just that if any of this resonates with you, you might want to consider adding extra tags to your work (you don't even have to tag "humiliation kink," "humiliation" works just fine), and you also might want to consider checking out some tags, because there is probably a vibrant community of people who also like that and who would both love your work and would love to share their work with you.

That's it. Go with god. Now if people are going to be in my notes going HOW CAN SOMETHING PLATONIC BE KINKY I have something to link them.

[steddiealltheway]

As soon as Steve hears the phone ring, he sighs.

Robin is away visiting her family in Kentucky for the holidays, and the only other person to ever call would be...

"Dustin," Steve says, his free hand coming up to rest on his hip, "why are you calling?"

There's a pause on the other line before Dustin whines, "How do you always know when it's me."

"Because your irritating energy bleeds through the phone."

Another pause. "You got that from Robin, didn't you?"

Yes. He did. Sue him for wanting to be witty and taking a few notes from Robin. "What do you want?"

"Okay, so..." Oh boy. "I've been meaning to talk to Suzie for a while now, and we made plans not to talk on Christmas because she would be with her family all day, and I knew my mom wouldn't want me to be away for too long so-"

"The point, Dustin."

Dustin mumbles something that sounds suspiciously like multiple curse words before continuing, "The point is that I'm taking Cerebro to that hill, but I'm going to need a ride."

Steve frowns, walking toward the nearest window until the phone cord is fully stretched so he can pull a curtain open. He winces a bit at the bright light. "Dustin, it's freezing out, and the hill will be covered in snow."

"You would've done the same for Nancy!"

Steve's eyebrows raise. "Not the best approach if you want a ride, dude."

"I'm not trying to approach the whole you and Nancy thing. I'm trying to make a point," Dustin emphasizes a little too loudly into the phone. "You would do anything if you were in love! Even sit out in the snow for a few hours just so you can talk to the person you love."

"Have you ever heard of the phone?"

"Have you heard the number of siblings she has that would jump at the opportunity to listen in on our call? Plus, Cerebro is our thing."

Steve really wishes Dustin were in front of him, so he could see the way his cheeks are flushing during this exact moment. "You just like using your Cebro thing because it makes it feel like your love is forbidden."

"I do not!"

"Alright, Romeo," Steve says with a laugh, "I'll give you a ride. If you promise to only be there for an hour."

"Not including the time it takes to get there, set it up, and leave."

Steve sighs and knocks the phone against his head for a second before reluctantly agreeing, "Yes, but you better be bundled up so much that you're sweating out there. I don't want to hear you complain." He also secretly worries about the kid getting frostbite or something, but he'd never admit to it.

"Fine I'll see you in an hour?"

"Yeah, I'll see you then," Steve says as Dustin hangs up. "A thank you would've been nice..."

He really hopes he doesn't regret this.

-:-:-:-:-:-

When Dustin climbs in the car, he's bundled from head to toe but still manages to laugh at Steve who is wearing the same amount of layers as him. "Look in the mirror," Steve comments dryly before driving off.

The drive there isn't too long, and although Steve saw Dustin a few days ago - after Claudia insisted he spend Christmas with them instead of home alone - he's kind of glad to hang out with Dustin again. It's not often he gets a lot of one-on-one time with the kid anymore.

Which is why Steve is particularly bitchy when he pulls up to the familar area below the hill and find a familar van there.

"Dustin..."

"I didn't think you would agree to take me here and stay! So, I asked Eddie to give me a ride back this morning-"

"This morning?"

"And he said he was already going to be in the area and wanted to briefly meet Suzie and my Cerebro, so he's here now! And if you want, you can just drop me off. Think of it as a late Christmas gift."

Steve shakes his head. "And leave you in Munson's capable hands only to find out you two froze to death? No thanks." He gets out of the car with thoughts of a mourning Claudia Henderson on his mind.

"We wouldn't freeze to death!" Dustin practically shouts as he climbs out.

At that same moment, Eddie exits from his van, wearing his usual attire, only with maybe an extra added layer - a leather jacket.

Steve turns to Dustin, raising his eyebrows and gesturing toward Munson. Dustin sighs before going to the trunk to dig out all the different Cerebro parts.

Before Steve can join him, Eddie approaches him with a big smile. "Steve Harrington. Looking awfully toasty."

Steve rolls his eyes in response before openning his car door and reaching toward the back, grabbing the spare pair of gloves and a hat that he keeps whenever Robin forgets the extra layers - which is often. He hands them to Eddie without a word then helps Dustin grab his things before heading to their snow covered destination.

Eddie only lasts a few minutes up the hill before he manages to push into Steve's space while Dustin hurries ahead of them. "So, you look happy to see me."

"Just peachy, Munson."

Eddie snorts. "I'm guessing Dustin didn't tell you I would be tagging along when you got here?"

"And I'm guessing Dustin didn't tell you I was planning on staying."

"Actually," Eddie says, nudging Steve's shoulder, "I told him you would jump at the opportunity to hang out with him, and there was no way you would drop him off to freeze to death."

Steve narrows his eyes as he looks at Eddie.

Eddie shifts things around in his arms to grab his shirt and jacket and lift them up enough to show off some of his scarred skin. "Our matching battle scars will forever bound us, Steve. I wonder if the bats gave us telepathic abilities," he says, way too cheery for Steve's liking.

"If it did, then I would teleport up to the top of the hill right now."

"Telepathic means the ability to read each other's minds. The word you're thinking of is 'teleportation.'" Eddie corrects him without judgement - something Steve's always found surprising.

"Oh. Then guess what I'm thinking about right now."

Eddie hums before leaning in to mumble in his ear. "You're thinking about getting a piece of this."

Steve laughs and shoves him away. He's glad it's cold out so he blame his blush on the cold. For some reason, he's still not entirely immune to Eddie's flirting. "Definitely not what I was thinking about."

"You are now," Eddie teases.

Steve swallows heavily, pressing down those thoughts and many... many.... images. "I think you're confusing my thoughts for your own thoughts."

"Tell me about it," Eddie sighs dramatically.

Steve is relieved when he sees they've reached the top of the hill. He's even more relieved when Dustin doesn't ask for his help to put Cerebro together, but Eddie is all too happy to help while calling Dustin a genius - in various annoying, dramatic ways.

It's not long before Dustin is awaiting Suzie's response while Eddie bounces on his feet. Steve's not sure if it's from excitement or being cold - probably both.

"Dusty bun?"

Dustin's face lights up in a way that is entirely too endearing for Steve's heart to handle. The jedi has learned the art of love from the master - or something like that. "Suzie poo! I'm here with Steve and Eddie for the next few moments. Eddie wants to say hello."

Steve frowns and raises his voice, "I want to say hello, too! Eddie just wants to be dramatic about it."

"Because I haven't had the pleasure of meeting the lady," Eddie argues before turning up the charm. "Suzie, it's a pleasure. I'm sure you've heard nothing but wonderful things about me just like I've heard nothing but wonderful things about you. Unlike Steve over here who you've probably never heard a good thing about."

"Hi, Eddie, it's nice to meet you," Suzie replies, giggling. "And hi Steve!"

"Hey, Suze. Don't let Eddie win you over with his charm just yet. It's bad for his ego."

"You think I'm charming?" Eddie asks, batting his eyelashes.

Steve makes a see? gesture before realizing Suzie can't see him.

"Alright," Dustin says, "Now they're going to leave us alone for the next hour."

"Hour? It's already been at least five minutes," Steve complains.

Eddie grabs him by the shoulders and steers him away. "Don't worry, Suzie! I'll make sure you get the fulll hour!"

Steve lets Eddie guide him a little down the hill, ignoring when Suzie asks, "Do they always bicker like an old married couple?"

When they get a comfortable distance away, where they're out of earshot but Steve can still see Dustin to make sure he doesn't freeze to death, Steve sits on the ground. He glances up after he gets as comfortable as he can get on the side of a hill, only to find Eddie frowning down at him.

"What?" Steve asks.

Eddie shrugs. "Doesn't seem fair that you get to sit on the ground, and I can't."

Steve's eyes scan over Eddie's body. "Not my fault that you didn't wear a long enough jacket to cover your ass when you sit."

"Not my fault that I wasn't born into a wealthy family that can afford those jackets."

Steve's stomach flips, but he knows Eddie isn't looking for an apology. "Why don't you sit in your van then?"

"Wouldn't want to miss my chance to hang out alone with Steve Harrington," Eddie says with a wink.

Steve nearly scoffs and gives him a snarky reply, but his thoughts go out the window when he notices Eddie's teeth chattering. "Shit," he mutters.

"What was that?"

Steve groans and stands up before unzipping his large jacket.

"Am I in a dream?" Eddie jokes, but his voice shakes a bit.

"You're about to be living one," Steve says dryly as he stands in front of Eddie and opens his coat. Eddie just stares at him. Steve huffs out a breath that becomes visible in the cold air between them. "Come here."

"What?"

Steve raises his eyebrows at Eddie before tugging at his coat. But Eddie continues to stare at him with wide wandering eyes. "I'm not letting you freeze to death up here, so come here before I tell Dustin to pack it up because you're cold."

Eddie crosses his arms a little tighter. "I'm f-fine." A shiver visibly runs through Eddie's body.

Steve rolls his eyes for what feels like the hundreth time this day and wraps Eddie in his jacket before he can protest.

He's stiff for a moment, then Eddie relaxes enough to wrap his arms around Steve who is able to close the jacket around them. They linger in each other's arms long enough that Eddie stops shivering and Steve wonders how much time Dustin has left with Suzie.

"Better?" Steve asks to break the silence.

He feels Eddie nod over his shoulder before he pulls back enough to look him in the eye, nose brushing against Steve's as he whispers, "I know something we could do to keep ourselves warm."

Steve's heart beats a little faster in his chest.

Eddie laughs and tucks his head into Steve neck, his lips far away enough from Steve's that it's no longer the only thing on Steve's mind. With the new brain space, he can feel Eddie drum a nervous rhythm onto his back and bounce a little on his face. He wonders if maybe Eddie was onto the whole scars making them read each other's minds thing because he swears he knows the first part of what Eddie's about to say before he says it.

"Sorry if that was too much. No guy has ever let me flirt at them the way you do."

Steve gets stuck on flirt at and, "No guy?"

Eddie lets out a short humorless laugh. "No guy."

And for some reason, Steve has to ask, "Has any guy let you kiss them before?"

Eddie pulls back to look at him with a frown tugging at the corners of his lips. "What are you getting at, Steve?"

Steve glances at Eddie's lips, slightly chapped but they've never looked more inviting. Maybe it's time to listen to Robin's knowing looks whenever Eddie is around and Steve finds himself simultaneously drawn to him while also wanting to run to the bathroom with Robin to have another floor talk. "What if one guy let you kiss them?"

"Steve..." Eddie whispers, his eyes flicking over his shoulder.

Steve turns to find Dustin, facing away from them. Still he loosens his hold on Eddie and says, "Wrap your arms around my neck instead of my back."

Eddie does as he's told, and Steve gives him no warning before saying, "Hopefully this goes alright." Then, he slightly picks up Eddie before falling back, letting the snow break their fall as he lays back with Eddie on top of him.

"That went better than I thought it would," Steve says with a big smile then asks, "Can Dustin see us?"

Eddie glances up and shakes his head.

"Perfect," Steve says, heart practically beating out of his chest when Eddie looks down at him. When he doesn't make a move, Steve can't help but tease, "So you really are all bark, no bite."

"Shut up, Harrington," Eddie says before finally kissing him.

For only a moment, Steve nearly laughs at the fact that Eddie Munson told him to shut up. But then his brain goes nearly haywire yet completely silent when Eddie's lips meet his in what he thinks might be the single most transformative kiss of his life.

His arms tighten around Eddie's back, and Eddie's hands move to cup the back of his head as they deepen the kiss. Somehow, laying in snow, Steve has never felt warmer.

They eventually break the first kiss reluctantly, both of them going back to steal more as they catch their breath, which turns into laughter and giggles between more kisses. Then, Eddie breaks away long enough to say, "You know, the van is seeming like a really great option at the moment."

"And Dustin's a smart kid. He knows how to not freeze to death," Steve says, kissing Eddie every chance he gets.

"You're right. No need to stay here in the snow," Eddie replies.

"Right."

Neither of them make a move to get up, but they both move to kiss again.

It's only a little while later before they hear Dustin yell out, "Guys?" And that's when they finally break away.

Eddie pops up first and calls out, "Yeah?"

"Let's pack up! It's been over an hour! Come on!"

Steve pulls Eddie back down into the snow one more time for a kiss before stomping up the hill. "Alright, alright. We thought you'd be happier that we gave you more time and that we both waited for you."

"it's cold," Dustin complains.

Steve nods, but he still feels warm.

Eddie joins a few moments later, stealing glances at Steve before asking Dustin what they're doing next.

"I'm thinking we change out of our snow clothes and get food somewhere maybe..." Dustin trails off and frowns at Eddie. "Why are you covered in snow?"

"We were making a snow angel?" Eddie hurriedly says.

Steve tries not to laugh.

"One?" Dustin asks.

Eddie nods. "You'll see it on the way down."

Sure enough, on the way down, they all see one horribly disfigured snow angel.

While Steve laughs and Eddie smiles proudly, Dustin shakes his head and mutters something like more curses to himself. In a volume that's able to be picked up by the other boys, he asks, "Eddie, you'll drop me off at my house, and we'll meet back up in an hour at my house?"

"Hour and a half," Steve says. When Dustin opens his mouth to complain, Steve explains, "I need to take a shower so I don't get pnemonia. Plus, I'm not letting my hair freeze on my way to your house."

"Fine," Dustin sighs. "See you then."

"See you then," Eddie echoes to Steve, winking at him once.

Soon after Steve gets home, he hears a knock on the front door, and when it's Eddie on the other side, Steve pulls him in and says, "Maybe you were right about the telek- tele-"

"Telekentic abilities?"

Steve nods as he closes the door behind Eddie and traps him against it. "I definitely know what you're thinking about now."

Eddie cocks his head to the side and wraps his arms around Steve's neck. "Yeah? What am I thinking about?"

"Kissing me again," Steve says, leaning in.

"Actually," Eddie says turning his head away, "I was thinking about a lemon."

"Crazy. I happen to have lemon scented body wash," Steve comments as he grabs Eddie's hands and tugs him up the stairs.

They're both a little late to Dustin's house. And maybe their hair freezes a bit.

But Dustin was right. There's a lot of things Steve would do for love.

[buzzinrusso]

Forever

You stand at the front door of Leah’s family home, snowflakes melting in your hair and the weight of anticipation pressing against your chest. Leah’s hand is warm in yours, her thumb brushing reassuring circles across your knuckles, but your nerves refuse to settle.

“It’s going to be fine,” Leah whispers, leaning in close. Her breath is warm, the faint smell of peppermint on her lips from the candy cane she snagged during the drive.

You try to smile, but your heartbeat feels like it might drown out the sound of the Christmas carols playing faintly inside. “You say that, but they’re your parents. What if they don’t like me?”

Leah laughs softly, giving your hand a squeeze. “They’re going to love you. I promise.”

The door swings open before you can answer, and suddenly you’re face-to-face with Amanda—Leah’s mom.

“Leah! Y/n! Oh my goodness, come in, come in!” Amanda’s voice is bright and welcoming, her eyes crinkling at the corners as she steps aside and waves you both in.

You barely have time to process before Leah’s dad, David, appears in the hallway, his broad shoulders and warm smile immediately calming some of your jitters.

“Hey, sweetheart,” David says, pulling Leah into a hug before turning his attention to you. “And you must be y/n.”

You nod, swallowing your nerves. “Hi, Mr. Williamson. It’s nice to meet you.”

“David,” he corrects with a grin. “We’re all family here.”

You’re about to thank him when Leah’s younger brother, Jacob, bursts into the room. He’s taller than you expected, with the same sharp blue eyes as Leah, but his grin is mischievous.

“You’re the girlfriend, huh?” Jacob teases, folding his arms.

Leah groans. “Ignore him.”

Jacob smirks but steps forward to shake your hand anyway. “I’m Jacob. Nice to meet you. Don’t let Leah boss you around too much.”

Before you can respond, Amanda claps her hands. “All right, everyone inside! Shoes off, and coats on the rack. Dinner’s almost ready!”

You exchange a glance with Leah, and she gives you a small nod before leading you further into the house. The warmth inside contrasts sharply with the snow outside, and the scent of cinnamon and roasted turkey fills the air.

This is it. Christmas with Leah’s family. And no matter how nervous you are, you can’t help but feel a little bit excited too.

You step further into the house, the sound of laughter and the faint crackling of a fireplace wrapping around you like a blanket. Leah helps you out of your coat, hanging it neatly next to hers, and you catch Amanda’s approving glance.

“Dinner’s ready?” Leah asks, her voice light but tinged with hunger.

“Almost,” Amanda calls from the kitchen. “Jacob, set the table. And David, please keep Leah from sneaking any food before it’s time.”

Leah rolls her eyes, leaning in to whisper, “She acts like I don’t have self-control.”

Jacob overhears and laughs. “You? Self-control? That’s a Christmas miracle waiting to happen.”

You can’t help but giggle, and Leah throws a mock glare at you before pulling you toward the living room. The Christmas tree dominates the space, towering in the corner with twinkling lights and ornaments that look like they’ve been collected over decades. Stockings hang above the fireplace—three big ones labeled Amanda, David, and Jacob, and one smaller, newer one that reads Leah.

“That’s adorable,” you murmur, pointing to Leah’s stocking.

Leah grins. “Mom insisted I needed one when I moved out. She said Christmas wasn’t Christmas if everyone’s stocking wasn’t here.”

You admire the decorations, but the sound of Jacob teasing Leah from the dining area keeps pulling your attention back to the family dynamic unfolding before you. There’s something so effortless about it all—the banter, the warmth. It’s familiar in a way that makes your nerves twist again.

Leah senses it. She pulls you down onto the couch, her fingers lacing through yours as she leans in close. “You okay?”

You nod quickly, but Leah isn’t convinced. “y/n” she says softly. “They already like you. Just breathe, okay?”

Before you can answer, Amanda’s voice calls out, “Leah! Come help in the kitchen.”

Leah kisses your temple before standing. “You’ll be fine for a few minutes, right?”

You nod, even though you’re not entirely sure. Leah disappears into the kitchen, leaving you with Jacob and David.

“So,” Jacob starts, leaning on the back of one of the dining chairs. “How did Leah convince you to date her?”

You blink, unsure if he’s joking. “What do you mean?”

David chuckles, setting down the silverware he’s arranging. “Jacob thinks Leah’s too competitive for her own good. He’s convinced anyone who dates her must be very patient.”

You smile. “She’s competitive, sure, but she’s also thoughtful. And funny.”

Jacob raises an eyebrow. “Thoughtful? Leah?”

“Hey!” Leah’s voice cuts through the air as she reappears with a tray of rolls. “I can hear you, you know!”

Jacob smirks. “Good.”

You laugh again, the tension inside you unraveling bit by bit. It’s impossible to stay nervous when the williamsons make everything feel so lighthearted.

Dinner is served soon after, and as you settle in around the table, Amanda gives you a soft smile.

“yn ,we’re so glad you’re here,” she says. “Leah’s been talking about you for months, and it’s wonderful to finally meet the girl who makes her so happy.”

Leah groans. “Mom…”

But Amanda just smiles and takes a sip of her wine.

You feel Leah’s hand on your knee under the table, her touch grounding you. And in that moment, surrounded by laughter, food, and the gentle glow of Christmas lights, you start to believe Leah might have been right all along.

Dinner is a warm, chaotic affair filled with laughter, stories, and the occasional playful jab between Leah and Jacob. You quickly realize that Leah’s family has a rhythm, one that flows effortlessly between teasing and genuine affection.

Amanda keeps everyone’s plates full, while David cracks jokes that make Jacob groan and Leah roll her eyes. But no one seems to mind. It’s the kind of comfort that comes with years of shared traditions.

“So, y/n,” Amanda says as she passes you a bowl of mashed potatoes, “Leah mentioned you’re into photography?”

You glance at Leah, who gives you an encouraging nod. “Yeah, I am. I mostly do landscapes, but I’ve been experimenting with portraits lately.”

Amanda’s eyes light up. “Oh, I love that! Do you have any photos with you? I’d love to see them.”

You hesitate, but Leah is already reaching for your phone on the table. “She has an Instagram page,” Leah announces proudly, unlocking the screen and pulling up your account.

You blush as Amanda scrolls through, occasionally pausing to admire one of your shots. “These are beautiful,” she says. “You have such an eye for detail.”

Jacob leans over to take a peek. “holy shit. Leah didn’t tell me you were actually good.”

“Hey!” Leah protests, but you just laugh.

“Thanks,” you say softly, and Amanda’s praise warms you more than you expected.

As dinner winds down, David gets up to refill drinks while Jacob and Leah argue about who has to clear the plates. Amanda turns her attention back to you.

“So,” she says gently, her tone shifting. “I just wanted to say… we’re really happy Leah brought you here. She talks about you all the time, and it’s clear how much you mean to her.”

Leah groans from across the table. “Mom—”

“No, Leah,” Amanda says firmly, then smiles at you. “It’s important you know you’re welcome here. Always.”

Emotion wells up in your chest before you can stop it. You weren’t expecting this—this acceptance that feels so easy, so unconditional.

“Thank you,” you manage, your voice a little shaky. Leah’s hand finds yours under the table again, her thumb tracing soothing circles.

David returns with drinks, and the moment shifts back to laughter and lighthearted teasing. But Amanda’s words linger.

---

Later, after dishes are washed and dessert is served, Leah pulls you into the living room, where Jacob is trying (and failing) to untangle Christmas lights.

“Want to help decorate the tree?” Leah asks.

You nod, and soon you’re hanging ornaments alongside Leah while Jacob untangles the mess and Amanda hums along to Christmas songs playing softly in the background.

David sets up the star for the top of the tree, and when it’s finally in place, everyone steps back to admire the finished work.

Jacob lets out a dramatic sigh. “We nailed it. Another Christmas miracle.”

Leah laughs and leans into your side. “What do you think?”

You smile at her, then at the family around you. “It’s perfect.”

---

The tree glows softly, its lights reflecting in the windows as the snow outside continues to fall. You sit cross-legged on the floor next to Leah, sipping hot cocoa and admiring the ornaments. Leah’s head rests against your shoulder, and the sound of Jacob complaining about untangling the lights fades into the background.

David settles into his armchair with a satisfied sigh, while Amanda places a plate of cookies on the coffee table.

“Okay,” Amanda says, clapping her hands together. “Before we call it a night, we need to do presents.”

“Presents?” you ask, looking at Leah.

“Yeah, we open one gift each on Christmas Eve,” Leah explains. “It’s a family tradition.”

Jacob perks up. “And I get to go first.”

“No, you don’t,” Leah argues. “We go youngest to oldest.”

“Exactly. I’m the youngest.”

Leah throws a pillow at him, but Amanda steps in before things escalate. “Enough, you two. Jacob, go ahead.”

Jacob tears into his present—a pair of sneakers that he immediately tries on. “Perfect fit!” he declares, and you can’t help but smile at his excitement.

Next, it’s Leah’s turn. She unwraps a soft green sweater, and Amanda beams. “I knew that color would look great on you.”

Leah grins. “Thanks, Mom. It’s perfect.”

Then Amanda turns to you, holding out a small, neatly wrapped box. “This is for you, y/n”

You blink in surprise. “For me?”

“Of course,” Amanda says. “You’re part of the family tonight.”

Leah squeezes your hand as you take the gift and carefully unwrap it. Inside is a delicate silver bracelet with a tiny snowflake charm.

“It’s beautiful,” you whisper, your fingers brushing over the charm.

Amanda smiles warmly. “We wanted you to have something to remember this Christmas by.”

You glance at Leah, who’s watching you with that soft, adoring look that always makes your heart race.

“Thank you,” you say, looking back at Amanda and David. “Really. This means so much.”

David waves off your gratitude. “You’re stuck with us now, mate. you might as well get used to it.”

Everyone laughs, and the rest of the evening passes in a blur of stories, laughter, and warmth.

---

Later, after everyone has gone to bed, you and Leah curl up on the pullout couch in the living room, the glow of the Christmas tree casting soft shadows across the walls.

Leah brushes a strand of hair from your face, her expression soft and sleepy. “Told you they’d love you.”

You smile, leaning in to kiss her. “You were right.”

She grins. “Say that again?”

“Don’t push your luck,” you tease, and Leah laughs quietly, pulling you closer.

Outside, the snow continues to fall, blanketing the world in white. And inside, wrapped in Leah’s arms, you feel something you haven’t felt in a long time—home.

The walk back to the house is quiet, your boots crunching softly in the snow as Leah’s fingers remain intertwined with yours. The weight of her confession—I love you—lingers in the air, warm and steady despite the chill.

When you step inside, the house is alive with energy again. Jacob is sprawled across the couch playing one of his new video games, while David is still fiddling with the drone’s remote control. Amanda, ever the multitasker, is humming along to Christmas music as she prepares lunch.

Leah tugs you toward the kitchen, where Amanda glances up and smiles.

“Enjoy your walk?” Amanda asks, setting down a tray of freshly baked cookies.

“It was perfect,” Leah replies, sneaking one of the cookies before her mom can swat her hand away.

Amanda eyes the two of you for a moment, her smile softening. “You both look happy,” she says gently.

Leah leans against the counter, her arm brushing yours. “We are.”

Amanda seems satisfied with that answer and turns back to her cooking, giving you and Leah a moment alone.

“Ready for round two?” Leah teases, gesturing toward the living room.

You raise an eyebrow. “Round two?”

“Board games,” Leah says, her grin widening. “It gets competitive. Fair warning.”

You follow her back to the living room, where Jacob is already setting up a game of Monopoly.

“Oh no,” you mutter. “Not Monopoly.”

Jacob smirks. “Afraid you’ll lose?”

Leah drops onto the couch next to you. “Don’t let him intimidate you. He cheats.”

“I do not cheat!” Jacob protests.

David looks up from his drone. “You definitely cheat.”

Amanda walks in with a tray of drinks. “He absolutely cheats.”

Jacob groans. “I can’t believe my own family is turning against me.”

You can’t stop laughing, and before you know it, the game has started. It’s chaos from the very first roll. Leah buys up all the railroads, Jacob tries to build a hotel empire, and Amanda keeps making quiet, strategic moves that everyone underestimates until it’s too late.

By the time lunch is ready, Leah is bankrupt, Jacob is begging for loans, and Amanda is quietly collecting rent from everyone.

“Remind me never to play Monopoly with your mom again,” you whisper to Leah as Amanda sweeps the board clean.

Leah laughs. “I tried to warn you.”

---

After lunch, the day slows down. You and Leah curl up on the couch again, this time watching old Christmas movies while Jacob naps in the recliner. Amanda and David sit nearby, quietly talking and occasionally exchanging glances that remind you of Leah’s soft looks.

You catch Leah watching you during the movie, her fingers absentmindedly playing with the bracelet Amanda gave you.

“What?” you ask softly.

“Nothing,” she says, smiling. “Just… I’m really glad you’re here.”

You reach up, brushing her hair back. “Me too.”

She leans in, kissing you gently, and for the first time all day, everything around you fades. It’s just you and Leah—your Leah—wrapped up in each other.

---

That evening, after dinner and more desserts than you probably should’ve eaten, you help Leah clean up the kitchen while Amanda and David sip wine by the fire.

“Did you have a good Christmas?” Leah asks, drying a dish and setting it aside.

You glance at her, your heart full. “The best one I’ve ever had.”

Leah pauses, looking at you like she wants to say something important. Her lips part, but before she can speak, Jacob bursts into the kitchen.

“Guys! It’s snowing again. You’ve got to come see!”

Leah rolls her eyes but grabs your hand, pulling you toward the door. Outside, the world is blanketed in fresh snow, the flakes falling gently under the glow of the porch lights.

Jacob and David are already starting to build a snowman, and Amanda stands nearby, laughing as they bicker over how to stack the snowballs.

Leah turns to you, brushing snowflakes from your hair. “You ready to make this a tradition?”

You tilt your head. “What? Spending Christmas with your family?”

“Yeah,” Leah says softly. “And everything else.”

You smile, stepping closer and wrapping your arms around her. “Only if you promise to always be this competitive with board games.”

Leah laughs, pulling you in for another kiss as snowflakes swirl around you.

---

The day after Christmas is quieter. The excitement of the holiday has faded into a cozy calm. Amanda and David take a drive into town to look at post-holiday sales, and Jacob has locked himself in his room, determined to beat his new video game.

You and Leah stay behind, curled up on the couch under a shared blanket. She’s scrolling through her phone, occasionally showing you funny memes, but your own phone buzzes with a text from your best friend, Emily.

Emily: So? How was it? Survive meeting the parents?

You smile, your fingers flying across the keyboard.

You: More than survived. It was amazing.

You glance at Leah to make sure she’s still preoccupied before slipping out from under the blanket and stepping into the kitchen for a little privacy.

Emily responds almost immediately.

Emily: Amazing?? Who are you and what have you done with my best friend?

You: I’m serious, Em. They’re incredible. Her mom is so sweet, and her dad had me laughing the whole time. Even her brother is hilarious in a slightly annoying way. They made me feel like I belong.

You hesitate before typing the next part.

You: I don’t think I’ve ever felt this accepted before. It’s like they already saw me as part of the family.

Emily’s reply comes just as fast.

Emily: I told you they’d love you. But honestly? It sounds like you love them too.

You pause, rereading her words. She’s right—you do. It’s only been a couple of days, but being around them feels so natural, so effortless.

You: I think I do. And Leah…

You stop typing, suddenly feeling the weight of everything—the way Leah looks at you, the way her family welcomed you without hesitation, the way this Christmas felt so much more than just another holiday.

Emily: And Leah what? Don’t leave me hanging.

You’re about to respond when a soft noise catches your attention. Turning, you see Leah leaning against the kitchen doorway, her arms crossed but her expression unreadable.

Your stomach drops. “How long have you been standing there?”

“Long enough,” she says, stepping closer.

You panic. “I wasn’t saying anything bad—”

“I know,” Leah interrupts softly, a small smile tugging at her lips. “I heard what you said.”

You bite your lip, unsure what to say next, but Leah steps in, closing the space between you.

“You love them?” she asks quietly.

You nod. “I do. They’re amazing, Leah. They’re so warm and welcoming, and I’ve never really had that before.”

Leah’s smile grows, and she brushes her fingers over your cheek. “You belong here, you know? They think so too.”

Your breath catches. “I really do feel like I belong.”

Leah leans in, kissing you softly before pulling back to rest her forehead against yours.

“And me?” she whispers. “Do I make you feel like you belong?”

You laugh softly, relief washing over you. “You’re the reason I feel that way.”

Leah grins and kisses you again, longer this time. When she finally pulls back, she’s practically glowing.

“So,” she says, her voice light and teasing now. “You’ve been gushing about my family behind my back, huh?”

You groan, hiding your face in your hands. “Don’t make it weird.”

She laughs, tugging your hands away. “Never. I love that you love them. It means a lot to me.”

Her words are sincere, and you feel your heart swell.

“Come on,” Leah says, taking your hand. “Let’s go join Jacob before he accuses us of being lovebirds again.”

You let her pull you back toward the living room, but not before sneaking one last glance at your phone.

You: I’ll call you later, Em. But yeah… I think I found my forever.

And as Leah laces her fingers through yours, you know you mean every word.

---

The evening settles in slowly, the soft glow of the Christmas tree filling the living room as snow falls gently outside. Leah’s parents return from their trip into town, arms full of shopping bags, while Jacob finally emerges from his room to brag about beating the final level of his game.

Dinner is casual—leftovers and sandwiches—and afterward, everyone sprawls out in the living room again. Amanda curls up with a book, David fiddles with his new drone, and Jacob flips through channels, searching for something to watch.

You and Leah sit tucked into the corner of the couch, wrapped up in a shared blanket. Her arm is around you, and your head rests against her shoulder as the quiet hum of family fills the room.

“Comfortable?” Leah murmurs, her voice low and warm.

“Very,” you reply, nestling closer.

Her fingers trace absentminded circles against your arm, and you let your eyes drift shut, savoring the moment.

Jacob eventually lands on an old Christmas movie—one of those cheesy romantic comedies that Amanda insists is a classic. You’re only half-paying attention, but Leah’s occasional comments about the unrealistic love story keep you smiling.

After a while, the movie ends, and Leah’s parents start cleaning up while Jacob disappears upstairs again. The house grows quieter, and you feel yourself growing heavier, sleep tugging at the edges of your awareness.

“You tired?” Leah whispers, brushing her lips against your hair.

You nod sleepily. “A littlee.”

“Come on,” she says softly, helping you stand. “Let’s go to bed.”

---

Upstairs, the guest room is dimly lit, the bed piled high with extra blankets. Leah pulls you into her arms the moment you climb in, wrapping both of you up in the warmth of the covers.

“Today was perfect,” you murmur, your head resting against her chest.

Leah’s hand strokes your hair gently. “It really was.”

You tilt your head to look up at her, catching the soft smile playing on her lips. “I can’t believe how much I love your family already.”

Leah’s eyes soften. “They love you too.”

You smile, reaching up to brush a strand of hair from her face. “And I love you.”

Leah leans down, kissing you slowly, her lips lingering as if she never wants to pull away. When she does, her voice is barely above a whisper.

“I love you too.”

You tuck yourself back into her arms, her heartbeat steady beneath your ear. The weight of the day—the laughter, the warmth, the love—settles over you like the heaviest, coziest blanket.

“darling?” Leah’s voice is soft and sleepy.

“Hmm?”

“Thank you for coming with me.”

You smile, your eyes already drifting shut. “Thank you for bringing me.”

She holds you tighter, her breathing slowing as she begins to fall asleep. And as you listen to the quiet rhythm of her breaths, you realize something.

This—Leah, her family, this home—isn’t just a place you’re visiting.

It’s where you belong.

And with that thought, you let yourself drift off, safe in Leah’s arms, knowing this Christmas is only the beginning of forever

___

HELLOOOOO ,let me know just u find any mistakes I didn't proof read it!!

[honeyshiddendesire]

Office Secrets

Chapter One: Wine Spills and Bright Ideas

Summary: You hated office parties but when your boss personally invites you then the fun and long list of secrets begin. 

Characters: CEO! Trafalgar Law x EMPLOYEE! Reader

Warnings: 18+ !! flirting! Law catches reader in undies! Mentions of masturbation and sex! Reader can’t stand her coworkers! FEMALE reader! 

Masterlist

You were the employee who kept to herself, you ate alone, kept the small talk, if any, to a minimum, hell you even skipped out on all the office parties. You tried to stay low on everybody’s radar because despite working in the same office for a number of years you didn’t want these people to be anything more than just coworkers. Friends? In the workplace? Yeah you’d rather smash your own head in then have these people know anything about you. You only needed this place for the big ass checks and you wanted to keep it that way. So for years you avoided every party that went on in your office, that was until your boss personally asked. 

You never spoke to him up close, his assistant Bepo, was always the one that handled things around the office most of the time so it shocked you when on your way out one day that he called your name. 

“Excuse me Y/N.” His deep voice made you freeze, the hair on your neck standing up as you slowly turned around. Your brain racing in different theories of why he would call your name, the fact that he even knew it made you nauseous. “Uh…yes sir. How can I help you?” You reply as you adjust your glasses to look up at him. 

“The party tonight.” He says simply not continuing and you just raise a brow. You watch his tattooed hands go to adjust his black tie and it makes your heart skip a beat, you never seen them so up close before. The word D E A T H  was on his fingers in black ink along with a weird symbol but you didn’t want him to catch you staring for too long or he might notice the drool coming out of your mouth. 

Ugh do men even understand how hot the tie thing is let alone adding some tattoos into the mix or maybe they do it on purpose as a trap. 

“Yes?” Your tone was an obvious question that made him give a small smirk. “I noticed they’re not your cup of tea but…” He pauses to look around, as if he was making sure the both of you were alone before he leaned down a bit toward you, his voice lower as he spoke again. “I would love to see you there.” You really didn’t want to go but with a man as handsome as him leaning down into your personal space with that charming smirk of his, the strong powerful scent of his cologne invading your nose, who were you to refuse. 

That’s how you found yourself currently standing in front of the mirror contemplating your choice in attire, almost regretting never going to one of these parties cause you had no idea what to wear. You wore a long loose blue sweater dress, blacked heeled boots with your hair slicked back into a ponytail. You could’ve cinched your waist with a belt but clothes showing off your curves wasn’t much of your speed, instead you left the sexy for underneath. You had quite the guilty pleasure when it comes to all things lingerie, you always took out some of each check just to splurge on a couple nice sets. No one ever got to see them but whenever you were feeling anxious about going to certain events you gave yourself a nice confidence boost with some pretty pieces underneath. 

So taking a deep breath you said fuck it and grabbed your purse, you were already running late so there was no point in changing now that you were already dressed. It wasn’t long to get to your job, that was always a plus in your eyes. Sighing as you parked into your usual spot, you rolled your eyes at the fact that your smoking hot boss was able to sway your decision so quickly. Why the hell did he even want you there so bad? 

“Fuck my life.” You mumble as you get out of your car and head into your office, glad that you at least were by yourself for a short moment on the elevator ride up. The sound of awful music playing loudly along with chatter among all your coworkers was heard the second the doors opened up making you mentally groan. You walked out with your eyes glancing around to spot a drink or something to wash down your growing nausea that this damn party was causing. You found the table that was full of soft drinks and food but none of it caught your eye like the bottle of moscato that was almost empty. Pouring the rest of the moscato it barely filled your glass which made you frown until you heard that same unmistakable voice speak to you.

“I’m sorry I should’ve brought more, I didn’t realize there was someone else who enjoyed moscato like I do.” Your boss observed with a tone of amusement from behind you that made you look in his direction. “Oh sir, it's not a problem at all.” You smile politely as you stare into those charming stormy grey eyes of his. 

“I’m glad to see you here.” Your boss smirked at your shocked expression and the way you fidgeted with your glass in your hands. “Thank you sir.”  You never had an issue with staring people in the eyes until your boss started speaking to you. One of his slender tattooed hands went up to run his fingers back in his hair, your eyes unable to look away from him, the glint of his gold earrings shining brightly making you wonder how they moved when he was railing someone in bed. Specifically you- but you were way too shy to ever make the first move when it came to that sort of thing. 

“You look beautiful.” He says as you take a sip of your wine nearly making you choke on the beverage. You miss how he licks his lips as you go to reach for a napkin to wipe your face, his mind racing with ravenous thoughts of you. “Sorry- thank you sir.” You mumble out awkwardly as you throw out the napkin in the can beside you. “So I have to ask…What usually happens at these office parties anyways?” 

You smile when you notice his grey eyes roll like beautiful storm clouds as he lets out a sigh, “Nothing besides me dying of boredom.” His voice whispered as he scanned the room and his admittance made your heart race with excitement. “Ah~ so I’m not the only one who hates these things.” You joke and he only nods. 

“The difference between you and me is that I have to attend. My father always said it was good for business if the owner shows a different side of himself to his employees.” Your boss tells you, his tone irritated but still holding amusement which made you laugh. Leaning over a bit to keep the conversation just between the two of you, “Okay so tell me why I had to come here if I’m not the CEO like you.” Your boss only chuckles as he once again gets closer. 

“Because if I had to suffer alone one more time at these stupid parties I’ll end up on the news.” His joke makes you laugh louder than you expect which catches the eyes of some of your female coworkers who instantly give you dirty looks when they notice the hot boss talking with you. “Oh my god seriously? I’m just your insurance policy so you don’t burn the place down huh?” You joke back and he nods his head, a smirk on his face as he looks down at you. “Keep that between us okay? Shh people are coming over.” He says making you frown as you turn your head to spot the office birds flying over. 

“Oh my goodness Y/N I never thought I’d live to see the day you actually attend something.” The woman known as Sharon says, ugh that woman’s god forsaken voice could make paint peel in a second. “So anyways what’s so funny. I love a good joke.” 

“Wasn’t anything worth repeating.” Your boss says making you inwardly cheer at your shared secret. “How are you enjoying yourself Sharon?” He asks and you can’t help but notice how his body tenses up, his voice losing the amusement that he showed you just moments ago. 

“I’m having a great time Mr. Law, I just love~ how you always attend.” She tells him and his mouth goes in a tight line, a vein in his forehead threatening to pop at her comment. “Well it is my office. Can’t leave you all to yourselves now can I.” Sharon must have thought he was trying to be funny because she laughs like a mad woman, her arm going out to slap yours and in the process knocking her glass of wine all over you. Red fucking wine might I add. 

“Fuck!” You say out of pure natural reaction feeling the cold wine soak your whole front. 

“Goodness I’m so sorry I’m such a clutz sometimes. You should really go take care of that, you don’t want to ruin that fun sweater you’re wearing.” Sharon says with a sassy tone, the use of the word fun clearly a jab at your attire. 

Fucking bitch, you found yourself thinking but unfortunately you just had to smile. “Yeah I’ll go do that no problem. You should probably take it easy though or everyone might get the impression that you’re a messy drunk.” You bite out with a fake smile as you head to the ladies room, missing the way your boss has to hold in his laugh at your remark. You instantly flooded Law’s thoughts the second you walked away, the woman yapping away in front of him but he couldn’t care less. From behind him he heard some other females talking about how annoying they thought you were, or how you thought you were too good to ever attend these sorts of things and that you deserved Sharon’s wine all over you.  It was Sharon making a joke about you that had his thoughts stop in their tracks. 

“Excuse me?” Law said, making Sharon halt her words with wide eyes. “Sir I was just joking, it’s just harmless hazing. It was only a little bit of wine.” Law’s breath came out sharp as his eyes lowered into a glare that made her blood run cold. “I didn’t realize I hired someone so disrespectful in my company.” He snaps as his fists ball up in his pockets, his eyes watching you go down the hallway towards the bathrooms in the back. 

Heading into the bathroom you peel off your dress angrily shoving it into the sink and under some cold water. That bitch must’ve just poured herself a full glass since there was so much on the front of your dress. You just bought the damn thing and you highly doubt that it would be fixed, “Dammit.” You used your nails to scrub against the fabric completely stopping when you heard the door, which you thought you locked, suddenly open. 

“Y/N I wanted to ask-oh uh.” Law, your boss immediately paused as he saw you bent over the sink with your dress off trying to get the wine stain out. He knew you would be trying to get it out; he just never expected you to take the whole dress off leaving you in that lacy embroidery you were currently wearing. His eyes were unable to look away at the different color flowers that did nothing to hide your nipples and your pussy, he could tell the lingerie was for sex appeal definitely not for coverage. The garter on your mid section connected to leg rings that squished your soft thighs and suddenly he was never more jealous of a piece of fabric in his life like he was now.  

“Sir!” You shouted his name like three times till your voice had to get louder, his beautiful grays finally looking back up at you in shock. “This is a lawsuit, you know.” You say to him putting a hand on your hip, no point covering up since he already got a good eyeful of all your special bits. “Shit! Shit - I’m sorry, you’re right.” He panics but for some reason his body won’t seem to turn away, his eyes dropping down to look at you over one more time. A curse coming out of his mouth in a raspy breath that made you smirk as you called out to him again. His body finally cooperates as he turns to face the door but doesn’t leave, his face heating as his brain recalls everything over at superspeed. “I had to ask you a question but- are the women here usually so catty with you?” 

Law’s question had your brows raise before your face dropped into a frown, your hands going to shut off the water with a sigh. “Yeah but I don’t give a fuck. They try to see who can get under my skin but all this place is to me is a fat ass check.”

“I see.” Law says making you mumble a ‘sorry’ but he only chuckles, “Why be sorry I should be the one to apologize? I can understand now why you hate these things.” You throw on your dress after you ring it out as best as you can but still some of the wine remains. You walk towards the man, the sound of your heels making Law stand up taller at the sound.

 “So Mr. Law you let me in on your little secret of hating office parties so maybe we can add this ordeal onto the growing list huh?” You joke as you go to step in front of him, leaning in close, his tanned cheeks heating up as you smile at him. “Sorry again. It seems like I owe you a raise.” 

“HA! If that’s your way of trying not to get me to sue for sexual harassment then it’s a deal but-I’m still heading home. I enjoyed our banter though  sir. I must say I’m shocked you noticed me despite my skills at trying to stay off the radar.” You say as he opens the bathroom door for you, both walking down the hallway back toward the office. “Actually it’s because you try so hard to remain unnoticed that I noticed you.” He smirks and it makes you fidget a bit as he stares down at you. “Oh I see nothing gets by you then. I’ll see you next week sir.” He just nods and you turn quickly to grab your purse off your desk and head out of this dreadful place, your boss’ eyes staring you down as you walk away. 

The image of you in that beautiful lace was making his body hot, and if he so happened to think about you in it while he fisted his cock between his hands later on then that was his business. It’s not like you needed to know that as he laid in bed that whole weekend that the thoughts of you only grew stronger, or that he pictured what would’ve happened if he bent you over the bathroom sink. The filthy thought of just coming up behind you to push those lacy panties to the side as he shoved his long cock into your dripping pussy made him groan into his elbow. Thinking of one of his tattooed hands having to cover your mouth that would hopefully spill out lustful moans, picturing himself having to look over your shoulder to stare at your fucked out expression in the bathroom mirror. The way you’d moan out for him as he shoves a few fingers into your drooling mouth as he runs kisses along your neck with his hips moving at a rushed pace so neither of you would get caught. 

“Fuck-” Law finally groaned deeply as he came all over his black silk sheets, rolling his eyes at having to change them now but the carnal desires were just to powerful. The whole weekend was tortuous for him and here he was at 5 in the morning on a Monday needing a shower before work. At this rate he’ll be running late to his own business because of you and that only made him want to see you more. Dressing in his nicest all black suit he headed to the office the thought of you still plagued his mind. Now as he drove his fancy sports car he started to picture you riding him in the backseat making the tinted windows all steamy.  

“Fuck my life.” Law grumbles as he heads up the elevator, shock washing over him as he noticed you were the first one there. That was rare, usually you showed right on time so you wouldn’t be spotted. “Y/N I see you’re here early.” 

The sound of your boss making you go still, your cheeks growing warm as your brain replayed all the dirty fantasies that you came up with over the weekend. Turning in your desk chair you looked at him walking over toward you, that same amused smirk on his face just like at the office party. “Sorry sir, I hope that’s alright. I realized after going home that I still had something to add to my pitch for the meeting later.” Your honesty made Law groan as he ran a hand over his face. “Shit I might have to make you my second assistant because I forgot all about that.” He groaned as he leaned against your desk and you couldn’t help but smile at him being so relaxed whenever he was around you. Law always made sure to look so polished and strict around everyone but here he was letting his walls down with you for some reason.

“It must be rough with Bepo on vacation. He seems good at his job.” You say as you cross your legs, sitting back in your chair. You weren’t the most flirtatious woman around but there was no way you could miss the way Law’s eyes immediately dropped to your legs. His stormy eyes following up from your sexy stilettos all the way to the hem of your skirt, swallowing the lump that he suddenly felt in his throat. He couldn’t help but wonder if you had on another lingerie set, hidden from view and man was it getting hard to breath all of a sudden.

 “Mr. Law if you keep staring at me like that then people will think I earned that raise in some unsavory ways.” You smiled as you noticed his eyes snap up to your face. 

“Yes…that would be quite -unfortunate wouldn’t it.” He comes to mess with his tie as he licks his lips before giving you that damn smirk of his. “I guess if those unsavory things were to happen we’ll just have to add it to our list of little secrets don’t you think.” His words had your whole bravado shattered just as you thought you had him where you wanted him, he proved that he was a man always with a plan. Hearing the elevator ding Law stood up from your desk just before the door opened, saving the both of you from prying eyes. 

“Good morning Mr. Law.” The birds squealed out happily making him wave a hand, “Morning ladies.” Giving them a small wave and nod he turned to you giving you a charming wink before heading to his office across from you. You watched the man stroll to his office with his earlier statement in the forefront of your brain. Did he want to fuck me? Your face warm with the thought of him bending you over his desk made you take a deep breath to settle yourself. 

Hours passed before it was time for the meeting where you would be making your first big pitch. The project was a banquet to raise money for children who don’t know what it is to celebrate their birthdays because they don’t have the money that would allow them to do so.  Since it was the company's 30th anniversary coming up you thought it was the perfect time to finally speak your mind and throw in some ideas of your own. Instead of the company getting the gifts you figured it would be nice to give back you just hoped your boss would think so as well. 

Gathering your stuff you head into the meeting room, your anxiety growing and bringing the nauseous you tend to feel with it. This would be the first time you ever stood up in front of these fuckers and you were not happy about it, you wish you could just come up with the idea and tell him privately but nope. Every month there would be this project meeting where everyone would lay out their ideas at that moment. Now knowing that he dislikes these people coming to him all the time though it made sense, one meeting every month was better instead of everyone popping into his office all hours of the day. 

“Okay everyone, who would like to go first.” Law said as he sat at the head of the table leaning back in his chair, his face stern as he scanned the room until his eyes got to you where the corner of his mouth lifted a bit. Before you could raise your hand though Cheryl beat you to the punch, standing quickly before Law could even tell her too. 

“I had this super interesting idea if I may Mr. Law!” She squeals and Law only sighs as he clasps his hands on the table, “Well seeing as you already stood up.” There was an underlying irritation to his voice that she clearly didn’t catch and you only smiled down at the table holding in your laugh that threatened to spill. 

“Animals.” She says and puts her arms out to her side like she just pitched a million dollar idea. You couldn’t hold it in seeing her face with a cheesy grin that quickly dropped hearing you laugh. You tried hiding it with a cough but she just put her hands on her hips and gave you an eye roll. “What’s so funny Y/N? I doubt you have a better idea.” 

“Sorry my bad.” You say not wanting to laugh at her pitch; it was just her mannerisms that had you lose it. Law leaned forward now, his eyes looking at you intensely. “Now Y/N I like to treat my company as a family so I won’t tolerate any rude behavior so please why not share your pitch for the rest of us.” He was trying to sound stern and strict but he couldn’t hide that glint in his concrete eyes. Your eyes widened as you looked at the man giving you a scolding, your body heating up under his intense gaze and as much as you wanted to stay focused you just couldn’t help your mind from wandering. 

“Okay, as great as animals are- we just held a banquet for them a month ago to save animals from deforestation. It was a big hit but I was thinking of the children this time around.” You say standing up and walking over to the projector to insert your usb, your presentation popping up on the screen. “I was thinking with the company’s 30th birthday coming up that we could celebrate by holding a banquet to gather donations to send all kinds of gifts to kids for their birthdays.” 

“How is that better than animals exactly?” Cheryl spat out and you sighed. “I never said either or is better I was just saying that we already did a fundraiser for the animals these past two banquets. The banquet held for saving Koalas and the one for deforestation were both super big hits so I just thought maybe we could try something different.” You further explain and she just rolls her eyes, Amber doing the same when they locked eyes. 

“I just think since you’ve never really done much here that you should just wait and let the rest of us come up with the ideas like we usually do. What do you even do here?” Amber says and you just give her a ‘are you for real’ look that makes her huff. 

“I’ve been working here longer than the both of you and I do the same job you all do. That means I’ve seen endless fundraisers for animals, all of which are great but there’s nothing wrong with some new ideas.” You state back before carrying on, “Anyways- I think we could set up a whole website where you list a child’s name, age and things that they like along with your address and someone anywhere in the world can choose what and how much they want to send. As a company you already have so many people who can donate thousands and that would jump start the whole program. Just think of schools and parents being able to give every child a birthday gift and bringing joy that's immeasurable just over one present to make them feel special. Each gift would be sent out before the child’s birthday to ensure they have at least something to open along with a card with a special note for them to hold onto years to come.”  

You flip through all the slides and mock ups of the website that you came up with along with possible ads that you could put on different platforms to make the whole thing possible. You had thought of everything, there was no loophole, or loose end that you left and it had everyone stunned. You may have kept quiet for years but there was a reason, when an idea was too good you never wanted to spoil it by sharing it too early. After you finished speaking you waited for them all to vote like they usually did but Law just stood up clapping his hands for you. 

“Outstanding! Absolutely incredible. This is life changing. Imagine how one gift could drastically change the hope for a child who never thought someone cared. Think about what they could achieve.” 

“It’s just a dumb birthday gift.” Amber mumbles, pissed since she’s usually the one that makes the winning pitch in these meetings. 

Law held out a hand to silence her, “Enough. It’s more than a gift, it’s a symbol that people care, that despite the circumstances you live in there’s still something for you in this world. I love it. We need to work on this as soon as possible. I’ll call my investors, we need vendors and caterers, I’ll leave those to you Y/N. Anything she needs, all of you help her, it’s her idea so she’s the lead on this. No more nonsense fights and childish behaviour. Break for lunch first everyone. Great work Y/N. I’d like to have a word alone with you in my office, please.” As everyone leaves you unplug your usb and put it in your pocket to fix your papers before following your boss to his office.

Once in his modern designed office, you gasp as you notice the view of the brightly lit city shining like something out of a movie. “I must say you’ve been holding out on me Y/N.” Your boss leans down to whisper in your ear making you shiver as he catches you off guard. “I’m glad to see that your brain matches that beautiful face of yours.” His voice drips with seduction that threatens you to partake upon but all you do is turn your face to his with a sly smile. 

“I’m glad you think so sir.” His eyes glanced down to your lips before he backed away to lean against the front of his desk. “Y/N I have a secret I’d like to add to our list if that’s alright with you.” Smiling you give a nod making him continue, his tattooed hand going to fidget with his tie, not missing how your eyes watched with lustful intensity. “Are you sure you want to hear it? I might have to give you another big raise so you don’t sue.” Taking a step forward you tell him it’s okay and he only smirks as his eyes scan your body. 

“I really can’t stop thinking of you. Have dinner with me tonight.” It wasn’t a question and you both knew it, he knew you’d say yes, hell- even you knew you’d say yes. But you both had a good banter between the two of you so it was only right for you to walk toward him. You let your hand grab onto his tie gently pulling until he leaned closer, “Hmm you’re right sir. I think I will need that raise but- if you can show me a good time after dinner then I think we can settle a good deal.” 

“Son of a bitch.” Law breaths out shakily and it makes you smile at him, winking as you release him before heading to the door. “If you’ll excuse me sir I’ll be heading out for lunch. You can pick me up at 7, I’m sure you can look up my address.” 

You never felt as sexy as you did in that moment walking away, even your secret stash of lingerie couldn’t rival the way that Law made you feel. Your body was buzzing, you thought your heart would beat out of your chest and the grin that was plastered on your face just looked like excitement for the pitch that he praised you on. If only they knew the chemistry between the boss and you they would have a fucking field day but you could give two shits about these fucking snakes. That man was yours and when you have your sights on something you’ll break as many necks as you have to in order to get it.

[mxsticmayhxm]

want a guy who gets into my head and rearranges it without me knowing. someone i really, genuinely trust, maybe someone ive known for years. when i need comfort, i go to him. he always knows the right things to say.

thats why id go to him if i ever broke up with a girl.

and im someone who likes touch— hed know that. im sitting on his bed while hes bent down, brushing my hair behind my ear. hes so sweet, it makes me emotional all over again.

“theres nothing to worry about anymore," he whispers in a low voice, soft on the ears. its easy to listen to, i cant help but lean closer. his hand rests on my cheek.

"im here, hun. you dont have to think about it." its quiet in his room, just the ticking of his alarm on his nightstand, rhythmic in its clicks. soothing to listen to paired with his voice.

"in fact, you dont have to think about anything," he says, staring into my eyes. my head tilts. "we can stay here for a while. you can just relax, i know its all stressful." i find myself nodding. "so, you dont have to think."

"i dont have to think?" he smiles encouragingly.

"thats right. no need to."

"sounds... kinda nice."

"it does, doesnt it?" his hand moves to trace small shapes and circles on my thigh, just barely grazing the surface. "not a care in the world, nothing weighing your mind down. like your mind is a clear blue sky; all the clouds just slip away."

"mmm," i nod again. see, he always knows what to say.

"and since you dont have any thoughts to focus on, all you need to focus on now is your breathing. slowing it down, keeping it deep." my breaths start to follow along, and my eyelids start to get heavy. he gives me another smile as he watches them flutter. "thats alright, you can close them. you could picture that clear blue sky. the warm sun on your skin, making your body and mind melt slowly, dripping down."

dripping down, melting, warm, it all sounded so nice. all i wanted was to follow his voice into that sun, let it... "...envelop me whole, taking away anything left weighing me down." i feel my head slowly fall toward his shoulder, landing in the crook of his neck. his arms wrap around me.

"no girls, no exes, nothing like that here. just you and me. everything else just slips from your mind like they werent even there to begin with."

like they werent even there to begin with.

~~~

i dont remember how long i stayed, but it was dark when i left. i came over the next day-- i had nothing better to do, i knew id just wallow in my room if i was given the chance. i felt like being with him would make me feel better, and next thing i knew, he was welcoming me in through the front door. he already had calm music playing in the background and warm tea set out for both of us. he sat me on the couch and passed over blankets to bundle myself up in before sitting down next to me. we talk for hours. the time just passes me by so quickly.

"i dont know why you only ever dated girls," he said, laughing a bit. i frowned.

"i... ive been a lesbian all my life. ive only ever wanted to date girls."

"well, sure, but nothings ever really lasted, has it?" im taken aback, straightening in my seat a bit.

"im sorry? does that matter?"

"relax." my back fell to the cushions again without thinking. "youve always been so much closer with guys. i dont want to assume anything, but you just get along better with men, isnt that right?” i stare at my mug, feeling his words sit in my mind for a moment. i guess he had a point.

“i guess. doesnt mean ive ever wanted to date them.”

“doesnt mean you arent compatible with them, though,” he grinned, taking a sip of his drink, before looking at you seriously. “i just want you to find the right person. there wasnt any love in your last relationship, you told me so.” i dont really know what hes talking about, but i dont know what to say, so i stay quiet. “i know you. i think a man would be able to love you much better than any girl could. arent you even the least bit curious?”

i couldnt help but admit that, after hearing him ask about it, i kind of was. i nodded.

“maybe after a bit. well see. i need some time.” he nodded and placed a comforting hand on my shoulder.

“its okay, i get it.” he turned to the window, seeing how dark it was. “its pretty late, how about you just rest on the couch? its been an emotional few days. i could make breakfast in the morning.” my head was already lolling to the side at the idea.

“that sounds good. thank you,” i look into his eyes, “really, thank you. this all mean a lot, youre always there for me.”

there was a look in his eyes that i couldnt make out.

“exactly, hun. now,” he passes a pillow, “you rest, and ill wake you in the morning.”

as he left, he changed the music playing in the background to something slower, deeper. it seemed to worm its way into my head quickly. i fell asleep before i could even think about it, feeling him pull the blankets a bit tighter around me.

~~~

i ended up staying for a few days. i didnt know what id do if i left— its not like i had a girlfriend to run to anymore. so i rested at his home, even when he left for work. he always insisted.

“i promise im fine with it, hun,” hed say. “besides, im a good friend. what are good friends for?”

there wasnt much to remember about each day; they passed like syrup or molasses, and trying to think back on what happened felt like wading through the sticky mixture. when he went to work, i listened to the radio he had in the living room— he had a cd rack full of albums by people and bands id never heard of, but each track kept me more and more peaceful. when he came home, time was fluid. it didnt exist.

i was close with him before my breakup, and even closer now. ive found weve gotten closer physically as well, like somethings changed in our friendship. i hug him more, we half cuddle on the couch. ive even started holding his hand every so often. the touch, the connection between us just centers me so well.

his words, too. theyre soft. they find their way into my head and sink into my being somehow. i dont know what hed do without me.

were having a meal in the kitchen. i finished but just wanted to sit with him longer.

“gosh, how long has it been since your breakup?” he asks, bringing a fork to his lips.

i stop for a moment. i try to think. my breakup was…

i dont know. i dont know when my breakup was or how long ago. i dont even know what day or month it is.

“ah, doesnt matter,” he laughs. and suddenly, it didnt matter.

“have you thought more about it all? dating guys?” i played with my hands. i had. a lot.

and it was with him.

i dont know what it was. maybe it was the proximity, or the kindness, or the looks, or an amalgamation of all of it. but when i sat around all day, the only thing on my mind was him.

the warmth he brought when he sat next to me in our deep conversations at night. the soft touches. the smiles he would give me. just thinking about him now had me staring at his hands as he used his utensils. large hands, hands id like to hold, hands that could hold me tight, hands to undress me and suck on and use to—

“well, have you?” he says, breaking me out of my daydreaming.

“uhm. a little bit.”

“a little bit? no, youve been talking about it a lot more recently, isnt that right?”

i shook my head for a moment, trying handle the fuzzy sensation that flooded my brain. it was hard to remember what i was talking about now.

“i know i go on and on about dating guys now, but… i just want to wait for the right one to come along.”

“hmm,” he hums, nodding thoughtfully. “im sure youll find him soon. what kind of guy are you looking for?”

“i dont know, someone who really cares for my needs. when i dated women, they never really understood what i wanted. a man would know best about what i need in a relationship.”

his eyes gleamed at what i had said. i dont know what cued it, though. i was just being honest.

“tell me more.”

“dating men would just be much simpler for me. i cant love a woman, but i can serve a man.”

something didnt seem right, but the thought fell away into the pervasive fuzziness. his eyes looked so beautiful right now, all i could do was stare into them.

“thats right, you can serve a man. did you ever love women to begin with?”

i think back on all my ex girlfriends. i think of our intimacy, our dates, and i feel nothing. i think of what i could have, and all i feel is love for him.

“no. no, i never loved women. i could never be attracted to one. i…” my words drifted off. i was supposed to say something there. what was i supposed to say?

“youre straight, arent you, love?”

oh. that felt different. straight. i found myself starting to grin. straight, i… i was straight.

“im straight.”

“say it again for me.”

“im straight.”

“again.”

“im straight.”

“good,” he says, “good girl.”

my brain melts from my head. theres not much to think of past that.

[phoenixeclipse-lmkau]

what would happen if monkey!Reader was harassed by a male monkey who tries to woo her and really won't give up(let's assume this happens before the kings announces their courtship since i doubt they would lay a finger on her if they knew) pls i need i've been harassed, heavily uneasely catcalled and saved by a dude who intervened(my hero❤) and i need to portray this asshole dead

Okie! It looks like I am making an oc Monkie demon who is also an absolute prick! I mean not all of them can be ‘nice’ and respectful. Like Wukong and Macaque are assholes there is no doubt about that but they will defiantly not harass Reader into bed with them. They even make sure she know about the cave they set aside for females who are in heat, a cave which is guarded and watched to make sure NO MALES come barging in during such a vulnerable time. They respect that women can and will say no to sex.

Now our price of a monkey demon who I shall name Linshu is NOT like that at all. (Will probably add him into cursed warlords too… hmm. Sorry back to the ask) Let’s get to it.

“Doesn’t it look so pretty!” Spirit cheered as she held up a bunch of flowers in her hands, her face brimming with pure joy.

You couldn’t help but chuckle at her pure excitement, ever since you two came to the island she was all smiles. Well after her short fight with her ‘dad’, but that didn’t last too long. You shook the thought away as she went back to looking at the flowers pointing out different ones, telling you the name and even the symbolism behind it. Her dad’s mate loved flowers and explained them to Spirit.

“Well look at these two beautiful ladies,” a new voice caught your attention causing both you and Spirit to turn and look at him.

Immediately Spirit’s face soured while you just looked. He must be someone Spirit met when you were exploring. You didn’t bother saying hello and frowned when your friend stepped in front of you.

“What do you want Linshu?” Spirit growled lowly.

“Can’t I say hi to the new troop members?” He asked with a smug smirk.

You narrowed your eyes at his attitude while looking him up and down. He was a short monkey demon with a dark grey pelt which was pretty well groomed, a rather toned body from fights, she could tell solely by the scars he had. There was a slash at his neck, one across his abdomen and another on his chest.

“Like what you see?” He asked proudly.

You narrowed your eyes again, he acted as though you should bow down to him. Where could someone get the nerve? He must be on some sort of power trip unless he always acted like this. If so then you didn’t want anything to do with this island at all.

“Not particularly, come on Spirit let’s go,” You said calmly.

Linshu’s face flushed in rage immediately gritting his teeth as if you had declared a fight against him or thrown some awful punch. You went to leave without any more talking when he grabbed your arm with a sneer. “Hold it there! You should be honored I’m giving you my attention!”

Your eyes darkened immediately before you moved and decked him across the face, hard. A low growl escaping your lips as you stood toe to toe with him. “Keep your hands off,” You growled. His grip didn’t move when he started yelling profanities at you, he was stronger and you hated that.

“Listen here, you should be honored that one of The King’s ACTUAL people are offering you a place here! You could be my mate and you would fucking love it. I am a powerful demon who is only second to the kings themselves. You have no right to deny me-“ He continued to yell at you.

“Let her go you prick!” Spirit yelled as she came over to help you, her tail lashing angrily.

Growling lowly you were about to speak when he suddenly released your arm and let out a pained cry. You were shocked to see Macaque’s hand on his shoulder, his grip tightening harder with each passing second. A dark threatening look settled easily across his face.

“What do you think you’re doing?” He questioned smoothly and the monkey immediately held still.

“N-Nothing my King, I was merely speaking with these women- Ah-AHH!” He shouted as blood dripped down his arm from Macaque’s claws.

“Hmm, it appears you don’t know your place,” His words were calm and steady even as his eyes burned with a very dangerous rage.

Loud footsteps came forward and you were shocked to see non other than Sun Wukong himself and to say his mate was the only angry one would be a lie. Rage covered his face while he held his staff over his shoulder, his grip tightly around it.

“Wukong my dear, would you please take these two out? I’m sure they would prefer not to witness this,” Macaque said calmly, while his tail lashed threateningly.

You didn’t even get the chance to say anything as Wukong pulled you away, Spirit following behind quickly. You were too far away to hear the sounds of his screams by the time Macaque began to- teach him a lesson. Not that you have much time to worry about it as Wukong takes you to the healer to check for any injuries.

All in all, you would definitely be in good hands the moment you come onto the island. Weather the two warlords have decided that they want you to be their mate yet or not. These two would definitely protect their troop from those not in it and those who are being assholes. Also that bitch dead, he died and is NEVER coming back. Hope you enjoyed Sleepy!

[am-i-interrupting]

Across the River | Extra

@night-fall-moon gave me the tiniest push so here we are! Aside, look at this young Sevika art.

Hardheads

Summary: Background into how you got your fighting style. Specifically, some important moments in time where you had a woman of incredible loyalty right beside you.

You held the dart between your fingers. Short and chubby as they were wrapped around the steel. You let out a small grunt as you threw it.

“Good job, my dear,” your uncle praised.

The dart was just a bit below the red center ring, near the middle of the single rings.

He adjusted your position on his shoulder. “You’re getting better,” he said.

You reached for the darts. You collected the four you’d thrown. All of them crammed in your small hands.

“Before you know it, they’ll be beating your streak, Sevika.”

Your breath caught in your throat as your head whipped around to the woman. She’d always been a bit of a mystery to you. You didn’t know really anything about her. Well, other than the fact that she was tall and her voice was nice to listen to and she was really pretty.

A chuckle came from the woman causing you to smile. “I think it’ll be a while but whatever you say, boss man.”

You pulled lightly on the hair that was tied up at the base of your uncle’s head. “Again!” you insisted.

He smiled and walked back to where he had been. You threw one dart. It hit the singles. Your second was in the doubles. Your third was down in the singles again. You grunted to yourself.

“Keep your elbow more leveled,” Sevika told you from her seat where she was shuffling cards.

You looked over at her. Her hands moved fast and dexterous. Practiced motions made the cards slide from hand to hand. She handed out cards with a grace and ease.

Her hand brought her drink up to her mouth. The black of her lipstick rubbed off on her mug. Her eyes ran over the cards in her hands. Then they flickered up and met yours.

She glanced at the board and then back at you.

You breathed out of your mouth, slow and steady. Your teeth pulled at your lip and your brow furrowed. You took a moment and tried to run through your throw. You did it once, twice, three, four times. You continued until you felt like you headed her words.

With your elbow more leveled, you released the dart from your fingers. Time seemed to slow as it sped through the air. Anxiety gripped your heart and held it tight. The breath seemed to be stolen from your lungs.

You screamed and your arms went up in the air. Your uncle nearly dropped you due to your sudden movement and sound so close to his ear. He caught you with your body now pointed towards Sevika.

“Did you see?! Did you see?!” you asked her.

“Yeah, good job, kid,” she said as she reached out and patted your shoulder before she put her attention on her cards again.

You squealed and spun around in your uncle’s arms so he was cradling. Your legs kicked in excitement.

“I got a bullseye, Uncle Sil!” you yelled for the whole bar to hear.

“Yes, you did. I’m proud,” he told you as he adjusted his grip on you to be something more secure.

Several people, your parents and other uncle included, crowded around to see what the four year old’s first bullseye. Barely able to be considered but just inside the red ring enough.

The Last Drop was more empty now than it ever had been. You were one of the four people inside the public area.

You kept throwing darts and missing. You should be doing better than this but your mind was going wild. It was racing and you couldn’t keep up. So many thoughts going through your head and you had no idea where to start.

“Hey, kid,” a familiar, smoked voice said, “can I join you?”

You looked over and saw Sevika. Her hair all down to her shoulders now when it used to go past them. Her face was devoid of any of her usual makeup. Several shallow cuts on her face were likely the reason why.

It’d been only two days since everything that happened. The cuts were already scabbed over how but the few bruises you could see peaking out of her clothing weren’t fairing nearly as well.

You handed a dart off to her. She threw it. It landed in the triple ring. Despite not preforming to her normal standard, she was still doing better than you. Most of yours were in the singe rings

Neither of you said anything for a while. The bar was silent. Not even a song came through on the jutebox. No hushed conversations. Just the sounds of darts being embedded into a board and the occasional clicking of something against glass.

It was an eerie silence that left you uneasy. It did nothing to help your racing thoughts.

“You can do better than that,” Sevika said when one of your darts landed in the white.

“So can you,” you fired back dryly.

She sighed in response. “Listen, kid, I—“

“I don’t want an apology,” a loud thunk, “or any sympathy,” another thunk, “or any of the meaningless words everyone’s been saying for the past two god forsaken fucking days!” a third think. “You can’t do or say anything—“ you walked towards the board and jerked out the darts— “that will make anything better so if you’re not going to say something useful just leave me alone.”

A hand was laid on your shoulder. Your head leaned forward as you slumped. Another thunk against the board.

“Come here, kid,” she said as she wrapped her arms around you.

Your head was guided into her shoulder. She was warm and steady. She smelled like smoke and alcohol. Your hands were limp at your sides but hers pressed you closer.

“Your parents were good people,” she told you. “They died fighting for the cause. You can’t surrender because they can’t fight anymore. You’ve got to stand up and fight harder. Piltover won’t know what hit them when you start fighting.”

“I don’t know how,” you admitted. “Without them I don’t know how to fight. It’s too much.”

“I’ll teach you,” she promised.

Your hands wrapped around her waist. You held onto her like a lifeline.

“Patience is one of the most important things in a fight,” Sevika said as the two of you circled each other. “If you move too fast you risk opening yourself up to vulnerabilities but if you move too slow you lose your opponent’s. Make sense?”

“Yeah.”

“Good. Let’s go again.”

The two of you circled around each other, hands at the defense. Neither of you moved for a long couple of moments. You simply watched one another.

Sevika took a step forward. You mimicked her. It didn’t take long for the two of you to go from several feet away to several inches.

She swung at you. You dunked down. You took the opening to punch at her torso, just below her ribs. She went back. You moved forward. She reached again. This time her hit got you upside the head.

You winced as you stumbled. The world was blurry for several seconds.

Sevika’s hands gripped your shirt and pulled you toward her. Her head reared back and then banged against yours. Your head pounded in agony as the world went back to nonsense.

She pushed you. You fell backwards.

“We’re gonna have to work on that too,” she said. “Make you a bit more hardheaded.”

You blinked several times before you were able to make out the dark figure of your mentor. Her hand was extended to you as she leaned down. Her hair blew ever so slightly in her face.

You grabbed her hand and allowed yourself to be hauled up.

“Or maybe you should let me do brain surgery on you and get out that metal in your skull,” you said.

She laughed as she threw her arm around you. “You’re funny, kid.”

[lemonlover1110]

Pairing: Toji Fushiguro x f!Reader

Summary: You make sure that you're the first person to congratulate Toji.

Warnings: Fluff

*happy birthday to the sexiest dilf

Discord +18 - Twitter - Ko-Fi - Bluesky

“Happy birthday, Toji.” You wake up the man at midnight, kissing all over his face. The man hates to be woken up, but this surely is a nice way to be awoken. Even though this could’ve waited till the morning, he’s glad that you care enough to stay up late solely to congratulate him.

“Thank you, baby.” He answers as you stop, laying your head on his chest. You listen to his ever so fast beating heart, feeling your eyes get heavy at the soothing sound. 

“How old are you turning again? Old?” You ask him, making a laugh escape his lips. Yeah, old… He feels like he’s lived a thousand lives at this point. He kisses the top of your head before humming in response. You raise your head and narrow your eyes as you stare at him, “Who are you, and what did you do to my husband?”

“What?” He questions, confused why you even ask the question.

“You’re a grumpy old man when I wake you up, but right now you’re...” You begin before he kisses the top of your head again. He’s happy. Instead of being miserable today, he’s here with you– The day hasn’t even started, yet he knows it’s going to be amazing.

You’re going to make a big deal out of today, and he’ll act annoyed when deep down he’s enjoying it. 

“I love you, that’s all.” Toji says, and you feel your face get hot. The man rarely expresses his feelings, so it catches you off guard when he tells you how he feels. Of course you know that he loves you, but it’s odd to hear. 

“I love you too, old man.” You peck his lips before laying your head back down on his chest.

“Stop calling me old man. We’re almost the same–” He begins but you shush him. He chuckles again before his hand goes to your arm, caressing you. He’ll sleep well tonight, and every other night.

“I never asked you what kind of cake you’d like.” You say, feeling your eyes shut on their own once again.

“Your cake.” He responds as he holds back a laugh, a response that makes you lightly slap his chest. “Hey! You asked.”

“You can have that in the morning, I was talking about later in the day.” You answer, and he kisses the top of your head once again. “I’m sleepy.”

“You shouldn’t have stayed up.” He tells you, even though he’s grateful. You care enough to stay up and congratulate him, even if it was something that you could’ve done first thing in the morning.

“I wanted to be the first person to congratulate you.” You mutter as you fall asleep. He can’t help but chuckle, his hand running up and down your back.

You’ve interrupted his sleep, but he doesn’t mind. He doesn’t mind being woken up, as long as it’s by you.

[claritys-silly-things]

I forgot I ever wrote this so imma give it to you now outsiders tumblr. It’s unfinished and also I haven’t read through it so whatever typos are there are just there ig

Ponyboy stumbled through the front door of his house and collapsed on the couch. Today had been busy.

It was the end of his freshman year, so there were lots of tests, and he had a track meet right after. Not to mention he had stayed up studying and barely ate anything because his anxiety over testing was too much for him to keep anything down.

Needless to say, Pony was exhausted. But he wasn’t able to rest just yet.

“Ponyboy, is that you?” he heard Darry call from the kitchen.

Pony groaned and stood up. “Yeah. Coming.”

He walked into the kitchen and leaned against the doorway. “Whatcha need?”

Darry looked up from the vegetables he was cutting. “Some help with dinner would be nice.”

Pony looked at the ingredients Darry was using and came to a conclusion the older boy was making soup. He checked the potatoes in the pot and decided they were cooked enough and drained them.

They finished the dinner, mashing all the veggies and mixing them with milk and seasoning. Darry cut a few slices of bread and started to portion the soup into bowls. Ponyboy went to set the table.

As he was readjusting the napkins for the fifth time, Pony heard the front door open and shut. He watched as Johnny walked inside and peeked around the corner to see if anyone was in there. Then he saw Ponyboy and walked over.

“Hey Pone,” he said. He sounded about as tired as Pony did.

“Hiya, Johnnycakes,” Ponyboy said, trying to wake himself up a bit now that Johnny was here. “You hungry?”

Johnny paused for a minute before nodding. Pony gestured to a chair and went to fetch more stuff to set his spot at the table.

As he walked into the kitchen, Pony said, “Johnny’s here,” in Darry’s general direction before grabbing more silverware and walking back out to the dining room.

“So,” Pony started as he placed down the spoon and fork he had grabbed on the table, “What brings you over this time?”

Johnny looked up at Ponyboy. “Same shit as always, man…”

Pony sighed sadly and walked behind Johnny. He grabbed his shoulders from behind.

“It’s okay Johnnycakes. One day you’ll leave those wretched people and we can go live out in the country or something.”

Pony leaned forward and turned his head to look at Johnny. “Won’t we?”

Johnny chuckled. Pony always got more cheery and loose when he was tired. He placed his hand over one of Pony’s.

“We will.”

Pony smiled and stood up straight again, shaking Johnny’s shoulders as he spoke.

“Yesss, it’ll be so fun. The scenery will be so nice, and we could put flowers on the windowsill—“

“And you could read us stories, and outside we could have a garden! We just wouldn’t work too hard!”

Pony laughed as Johnny joined in his fantasizing. He leaned forward and hugged Johnny’s shoulders from behind, sighing.

“It’s real nice talking to you, Johnny…”

Pony was so relaxed he could fall asleep standing up at that point. And he just might’ve if Sodapop hadn’t walked in.

“What, uh- Whatcha doin’ there, Pone?” Soda said, voice faltering. He was trying not to laugh.

Pony shot up so fast he almost fell over.

“Whaddya mean?” He shook his head and sat down in the chair next to Johnny.

“Y’know what? Never mind,” Sodapop said, taking the seat across from Pony. “So. What’s for dinner.”

“We made cream of potato soup and there’s some bread to eat with it,” Pony said, telling both Soda and Johny because he realized he never told Johnny what they were gonna eat.

“Oh, hell yes.”

Pony snorted at Soda’s response before turning back to Johnny.

“You staying the night, Johnny?”

Johnny thought for a moment. It was nice enough weather that he could stay in the lot, but honestly, he didn’t want to.

“Yeah, I’ll stay tonight. I can sleep on the couch,” he decided.

“Naw, I’ll just sleep in the spare room or somewhere else,” Soda replied.

Pony raised an eyebrow at how quickly Soda decided.

“So quick to get away from me, huh brother?” Ponyboy bantered.

“And what if I am,” Soda said back jokingly. They met each other’s eyes with mischievous grins for a second before Soda broke eye contact and shrugged.

“But actually, I don’t want Johnny sleeping on the couch, cause he’s obviously tired,” Soda gestured towards Johnny’s disheveled look, “And I know he’s more comfy sleeping around you.”

Ponyboy reddened slightly at that. “O-okay.”

Thankfully, Darry started bringing out servings to everyone and they dug in. Well, Pony prayed first, a habit he’d gotten from his parents, and then he ate. After basically not eating all day, the soup tasted like the most delectable thing ever.

Darry sat down at the head of the table and ate a few spoonfuls of soup before asking, “So how was everyone’s day?”

Soda was the first one to speak up. “It was good. Some girls came into the DX today. There was this one girl named Sandy, she seemed really nice.”

Pony looked over to see Soda a little dreamy-eyed and sighing. He scoffed.

“What? Can’t a guy have a little crush on a chick every now and then?”

Pony snickered and rolled his eyes. Darry was stifling a laugh as well.

“What about you Ponyboy? How was your day?” Darry cut in before they went on any longer and it turned into a back and forth.

“Eh, it was fine. Tiring as hell, but there wasn’t really anything too special about the day I guess,” Pony answered between bites of food.

Darry hummed in acknowledgment. There was a silence while everyone ate a few bites of food. Finally, after a minute or two of quiet, Darry asked Johnny, “What about you, Johnny? Anything noteworthy happen today?”

Johnny looked up from his bowl, spoon halfway to his mouth. He put it down and thought for a minute.

“Um…I basically did the same things as Ponyboy. Lots of tests and stuff. I’m sure they were different because uh…we’re in different grades. I don’t think I did too well. I just hope I don’t get held back…”

Johnny paused for a moment and everyone waited.

“I- uh… Got kicked out of the house again. Same ol’ same ol’ I guess.”

Everyone looked at Johnny with empathy and a bit of pity. Johnny didn’t like being pitied, but it happened anyways.

Darry spoke first. “One of these days we’ll get you out of those monsters’ care and you can come stay here or wherever else and never have to deal with them again.”

Johnny nodded. He heard a similar sentiment pretty much daily from different members of the gang and just accepted it every time. He knew them meant it, and it felt nice to know someone cared.

Suddenly he felt Pony squeeze his hand from under the table.

“Don’t forget you can still stay here now. You don’t gotta be scared that you can’t,” Ponyboy said, looking at Johnny.

“Yeah, I know, I know,” Johnny said with a small smile.

Eventually, everyone has finished their dinner and started to clean up. Once the table was cleared and he dishes were washed, everyone started to get ready for bed.

Ponyboy lent Johnny some pajamas and they sat together on Pony and Soda’s bed. Darry came in to say goodnight to the two.

“Don’t stay up too late, boys.”

“You really don’t gotta worry, Dar,” Pony laughed, already getting under the covers. “I am spent.”

Darry chuckled and turned the light off. “Goodnight, Pony. Goodnight, Johnny.”

“Goodanight, Darry,” they both said before Darry shut the door.

Within a few minutes, Pony was already asleep. He could be the heaviest sleeper in the world. He’s out in seconds and will stay out until the person he’s sleeping with leaves.

Johnny was the complete opposite, a result of the household he grew up in. The slightest noise would wake Johnny up, and it was hard for him to get to sleep in the first place. And he seemed to be having that problem right now.

[heretyc]

Outlast Trials Antagonists When You're Dying [Drabbles]

....[Shrug]. These are platonic, but can be read as romantic. All up to you.

In these, you were beaten by a large grunt. This is 100% inspired from my rebirth trial where I died because of Barbi and a grunt teaming up against me. I know the revive pills only work AFTER you die, but just pretend they bring you back from the dying state.

There's no Y/N mechanic. They each have their little nicknames for you lol. I have absolutely no idea how to write for Gooseberry so I tried my best :( She's very, um...unpredictable.

The electrical cracks against the atmosphere usually filled you with fear, but when you're on the ground with blood coating your head like a halo, maybe it brought comfort. Coyle's grumbling usually made you amused.

"Are you fuckin' kidding me, Commie?" Coyle's voice shrilled, and he stomped over to you, "Did you seriously get fucked up by a large bitch? I thought you were smarter than that!"

He looked down at you with such disgust, such distaste. He just sighed and shook his head, lighting his cigarette with his baton. "Lookie here...I'm gonna bring you the fuck back. Just stop being a dumbass...that's how you let the pinkie flag worshippers win."

Coyle stomped off down the hall, and returned with a bottle of pills. He bent down, gripping you by the neck, and poured the pills into your mouth. "Now swallow. This shit better work."

"Are ya fuckin' joking with me right now?" Familiar footsteps waddled over to your soon-to-be carcass, and you could already smell rotten cologne and bloodshed, "You, of all people, bested by a giant son-of-a-bitch?"

Barbi's laugh was genuine, and mocking in nature, "How the fuck does that happen, sweetness? Huh?" He gently kicked your head, the tip of his boot cold against your temple, "You dodge Lupara no fuckin' problem! But some fatass, who can't even fit in this shithole, does you in?! Not on my fuckin' watch." Barbi punched into something glass, and came back with a pill bottle, shaking it like you would a baby bottle, "Here. These'll help. Don't say I didn't do nothin' nice for ya." He popped the cap before bending down, and ripping your mouth open, his gloves grazing your tongue. "This shit better not happen again...you're better than this. And that's coming from a Barbi."

"Phyllis, no," the puppet screeched, "they reek of rotten teeth and a rotten mind. Don't act like a fucking saint."

"Oh, but daddy...Dr. Futterman," Gooseberry's voice sounded desperate and just a tad pitiful, "They're dying...we can't educate dead people about good hygiene, there's no market for that..."

"Phyllis," the puppet screamed, "Shut the fuck up, and then shut the fuck up again." He remained silent for a moment, before he sighed, "But you have a point. Go get the pills. Now."

"Yes, daddy," the woman fretted, and you wanted to die. Maybe shout for the grunt. You felt...so awkward right now.

The woman came back, and bent over you, "Open wide...just like taking a sweetie," The bottle was open, and she poured a pil inside of your mouth.

The puppet got real close to your face, its drill sharp and shrill as it powered on, "Make sure you brush your fuckin' teeth."

You'd strangle that puppet if you could.

[arietheyluv]

GIRLS NEED LOVE!

— a scaramouche x reader smau —

— 2. bozo

6:32 am

this morning was a cold one, you're freezing but that's alright, you'll get used to it at some point. feeling anxious about being alone in your class, will you even make any friends with that humor of yours? maybe, maybe not.

opening the door to the cafe you see lumine and ayaka, like usual, yoimiya is a little late.

"yn, your drink came to the table faster than you" lumine says while ayaka signals for you to sit next to her. you do as such and take a sip of your coffee, and then take a bite of the cookie on lumine's plate as she stares in disbelief.

with a mouth full of cookies, "I have math as a first subject, I need a rope" you complain and scroll through your phone to show the girls your class schedule. math, computer science, english, english again, history, then art.

"you have mr. albedo for art, he's a nice teacher, just don't accidentally or intentionally spill water on him" lumine says, she starts talking about all of the teachers and which of the ones were asses and which were good at their job.

time goes by, at some point yoimiya arrives to pick up ayaka, and eventually the clock hits 7:20, having not finished your coffee, you prepare to bring it with you, "yn, since you're going earlier do you want aether to guide you to school? just so you don't get lost and have someone you can ask questions" lumine offers.

"aether?.." you trail off, who is aether?

"my brother, the one with longer hair than me" oh. before you can accept her offer she goes into the back of the cafe and you can hear her yell at what you could guess is her brother.

seconds later, lumine and her brother come out of the back, or the kitchen, whatever you call it. "introduce yourself, what are you waiting for dude" lumine hits aether on the shoulder.

"ow– what the fuck–" another hit on the shoulder cuts him off, "uhm hi I'm aether, we're classmates right?" he steps away from his sister who is staring bullets into his head.

"yeah, I'm yn, can we get going now I don't really have the time to be late sorry" you nervously laugh, aether nods and grabs your bag for you. "see you later lumi!" you say as you close the door of the cafe.

— (⁠✿) —

on the walk to school, you kinda just followed aether around, sipped your coffee, and didn't speak much, it wasn't super awkward though, just a bit.

"hey uhm y/n, i need to go meet up with some guys, our classroom is just right at the floor above us, i think there's a sign anyway, you'll probably find it" he says in an apologetic way and runs off into the distance, "yeah no problem that's okay with me!"

you wished he didn't leave you, 2 minutes later you bumped into a guy and spilled your coffee onto his uniform. "I am so sorry let me get that for you–" he cuts you off, "leave me alone, and watch where you're going, stupid"

what a rude guy, it was an accident and he calls you stupid? he wasn't watching where he was going either, what a bitch, but anyway, you brushed it off and chilled around until the bell rang, then you went inside the room.

you saw two familiar faces, aether and the rude guy you bumped into talking to each other, the tables were grouped in two and the only seat available was next to the rude dude.

seeing you enter the room, aether gestures for you to come over and so you do. "yn, this is my friend scara" he introduces, wanting you to make friends probably.

"this is the girl i was talking about aether" scaramouche titters, you sit down on the seat next to him and he scoots away from you a little, "the one who bumped into you and threw coffee at you?".

"I didn't throw it! It was an accident I'm sorry" you apologize and he doesn't even acknowledge it, just snickers before talking to aether again.

girls need love!

previous — masterlist — next

imsosososo sorry the picture quality on the last 3 screenshots was bad, idk whats wrong with my phone rn

hi, its 5am and im severely dehydrated, lets make hwachae

ok just clearing this up, ayato doesn't chat so much because he's busy eating and being a diva

comment to be added to the taglist!

IN WHICH: as you move from your home country, mondstadt to inazuma you find yourself having a hard time to adjust to your new life. It doesn't help when you accidentally spilt your coffee onto one of the richest students in your new school, and what makes it worse is when you find out you have to spend a whole year with him, as your roommate.

taglist (open): @goodvibesonlyxd @usagiarchive @bananasquash @shidouuuliner

[fashionteahouse]

ok hear me out

fwb or sneaky link type thing with paul

i feel that fits his persona so much

ok you’re onto something ;) hope you enjoy :)

the knowing - paul x reader

It started on an easy afternoon. It started when you said, “It’s nice to meet you.”

The eyes he gave you told you everything. You suppressed your blush and nervousness as he kept his hand in your handshake longer than necessary.

Rachel looked at you with a bright smile.

“He’s cute. Isn’t he?”

You nod.

“I’m happy for you.” you tell her. She would gush all throughout college about how she wanted to settle down with the one. About how she wanted to have a family.

It was hard to spend time with her. She begged you to come over often, but that meant that you would have to ignore his heated looks. You had to pretend like they had no effect on you. You thought that you were going crazy.

You were careful with how you were dressing. Anything that would catch his eye makes you feel small. But, at this point, you could wear a trash bag and he would still make you feel like he was seeing through you.

You turned down the plans to hang with Rachel.

You tip the cup to your lips as you slowly sipped the strong beverage. You then went back down to your journal.

“What do you write about?” you hear and a chill goes down your spine. You shut it before looking at the smirk that Paul displayed on his face.

“None of your business.” you say as you lift your cup.

“Are you drunk?” he asks.

You shake your head no, feeling confused.

“Come on. It’s depressing as all hell in here.” he says. You take your eyes to scan the room. Everyone looked like they had baggage on their shoulders. Even the bartender who was slowly wiping the counters looked like they were tired of life’s challenges.

You snort a bit at this statement. You then feel a warm hand on your back as you rise slowly. The journal is tight to your chest as you both walk out.

“Is Rachel here?” you ask.

“Nah. She’s out with her cousin.” he says he sits next to you on the sofa. The house was silent as you both sat next to each other on the couch. For some reason, it felt different that she wasn’t around.

You nervously lick your lips and the nervousness was amplified when Paul stared at such action.

“So um…What are your plans for today?” you ask.

“I don’t know. I was hoping you could help me with that.” he says, slightly tilting his head to the side as he takes a good look at you.

“Oh.” you say in a quiet voice.

“You’re so pretty.” he comments after some time. You breathe out a soft chuckle before you shift on the couch nervously.

“Thanks.” you quickly say.

“I believe you’re supposed to pay a compliment with a compliment.” he says. You chuckle nervously again.

“Um…You’re..Very handsome..” you say as you wring your fingers in your lap.

As you look down at your fingers, you see that Paul’s hands rest on top of them.

“Why are you so nervous?” he asks with a soft grin.

“I’m not nervous.” you say.

“You are too.” he says chuckling.

“I think you’re mistaken.” you say and this tickles him as he laughs softly.

“Can I see what you write about?”

Your face gets hot. You stand.

“No. I um…I should go.” you say.

You seen him again, this time on the most unexpected place. As you watch him from across the train, you notice you both were the only ones in the line.

A gentle hand is on your knee. The crossed leg was slowly being pushed off to be seperated. You suck in a small breath as you sit up straighter and clench your legs together before resting your hands on his dangerous ones.

“What are you doing?” you whisper as you drop your head a little.

“What do you think I’m doing?”

“I…Paul.” you say as you shake your head slightly.

“You can sit next to me if you want. I can barely hear you.”

You roll your eyes a little. You stand and you’re immediately on his lap. The close proximity made your entire body hot. He shifted you comfortably on his lap as you place one hand to the side on his chest as you steady yourself.

A gently but rough hand hooks underneath your jaw and you close your eyes slightly at his touch. You realize this, blinking your eyes open, only to catch him watching you in smitten silence.

“We can’t..” you say in a whisper.

“We can’t what?” he asks, his tone displayed real confusion. His hand drops and now rested on your thigh.

“I…I would rather show you what I write rather than…This.”

“You write about me?” he asks.

You open and then shut your mouth. He chuckled deeply. “Yeah, you definitely write about me.”

“Not true. I write of no one. I write about…Things.” you say sheepishly. He watched you. Not saying a word.

You get up, his hand follows you, trailing on your behind as you get away from him.

You don’t even remember how you got his number. You just remember the rush you would get everytime you received a text from him.

The picture was supposed to be sent to a guy you met that you liked a lot. You both agreed to be friends with benefits and have been snapping pictures back and forth to each other. The sensual photos were photos that you were proud of.

Your phone buzzed as your eyes widen in shock.

“What did I do to deserve this ?”

You smack your hand on your head as you read the contact name.

Paul.

“Fuck.” you hiss out.

“Just delete. I meant to send it to someone else.”

You quickly type out and send.

Your phone buzzes. Your eyes widened as you realize that it’s a video. A shaky finger clicks play.

A manly hand stroked himself on camera and you didn’t like the fact that you watched the entire duration without feeling ashamed.

It was New Year’s eve. People kept talking about going to some guy named Jared’s party so you went. You didn’t know who you would meet, wearing your best clothes.

You had gotten into an argument with the guy who was supposed to be your friends with benefits. You get out of the car, not caring it was in the middle of the road. He was drunk and you felt it wasn’t worth your life. Slamming his car door shut, he screeched off at instance speed.

The home wasn’t too far. You walk.

A car with high beams in now in your direction. It stops as Paul gets out. You find out he’s going to the same party.

“Thanks for the ride. You didn’t have to do this”. you say quietly.

“You’re right, I didn’t. What were you doing in the middle of the road anyway?”

“The person I was coming with was driving drunk.” you say.

“What, it was your boyfriend or something?” he asks .

“No. We’re just…Messing around I guess. Friends with benefits.”

“He must’ve forgotten the friend part.” he says as continued to drive.

He parks. You look out the window to see people walking towards the already packed house.

You go to get out but a hand stops you.

“What do I get?” he asks you.

“Oh. Thank you.” you say with a smile. He smiles back.

He brushed a thumb on your cheek that makes you unconsciously lean into his touch.

That’s how you both allowed the tongues that were in each other’s mouths swirl with each other. He didn’t rush, almost as if he was savoring every moment. It didn’t matter to you, you were doing the same thing.

In the backseat, you tried to grab at many different things as his tongue licked and ate at what was between your legs. Your inner thighs crush his head as he continued to lick upon his swollen feast that was glistening.

Your legs never have been shaky from oral before, but they were as he held your hand. He shuts the bathroom door after pushing past people who tried to say hi to him.

He lifts you, you both sigh into each other as you hang onto him as he pumps in and out of you. Your legs and arms clutch him to you. You try to keep your moans to a minimum but his hips were very talented. Your voice was shaky just like your legs.

A knock is pounded at the door. He freezes a bit. You freeze.

“Who’s in the bathroom? I so have to go!” you hear a familiar voice say. You close your eyes and start to silently cry a bit. You realize what you were doing.

“It’s me. I’ll be out in a minute!” Paul says next to your neck. You try to get down from him but he holds you in place.

“Paul, oh my god, hurry up! Unbelievable.” she says. Footsteps must’ve went away, because he’s resuming pumping himself in you. You didn’t expect the soft sigh to come out your lips as you felt all of him. The shaky pant that came out of his mouth was enough to bring chills to your body.

“We have to stop.” you whisper out in a shaky voice, you felt the tingles of an orgasm coming and it scared you.

“Are you crying?” he whispers back.

You untangle from him and you’re on your feet but, still unsteady. You try to fix your clothes back to their original position. “Calm down.” he whispers at your frantic fingers.

You walk out first, just as he told you. You merged with the crowd of people in the party. Rachel sees you and gives you a hug with a tipsy smile, “Y/N, you made it!”

You just hug her as you look at the floor behind her.

The New Year countdown started to begin, counting down to midnight.

You made your way to the drink table, as people counted 5.

Your eyes widened as you saw Paul stand next to you. There was only 3 seconds. Before you heard Happy New Years, Paul’s face is leaned to yours and you stand there in shock.

Pulling back, you touch your lips as you tried to get a hold of yourself.

You thought things were going to go back to normal, you hadn’t seen him in three weeks. The times that you would go over Rachel’s house, he wouldn’t be there.

Opening the door to see him, as you were making something to eat, was unexpected.

“Smells good.” he comments as he walked in as he owned the place. Your eyes stick to the floor as he walked into your kitchen to find the cooking food.

He turns, to see you stuck in the same spot at the front door.

Lifting your chin with one finger, “What’s wrong with you?”

You yanked your chin away as you push past him.

“Feisty tonight aren’t we?” he says and you roll your eyes at his chuckle.

After eating, you set your dish onto the coffee table, keeping your eyes on the television. He gets up to take you and his dishes to the sink.

“Okay, what time are you leaving?” you ask as you look up to his standing figure that was in front of you.

“What, you’re kicking me out?” he asks with a grin and you stutter, “I was just…Wondering…”

“We didn’t finish what we started.” he says as he sits next to you.

Your face was under his hand as he pressed his lips to yours. A shaky sigh came out of your mouth, he used this opportunity to slip his warm tongue in, making you clutch to him tighter.

The way he kissed, it was very sensual. It was as if he was a lover that knew your body from exploring it time and time again.

He pulls back with a sensual smack, “I don’t to do it on the couch. Where’s your room?” he rasps out. Butterflies flutter harder than before.

You open the door as you slowly walk in. He rubs in his body against yours, making you move faster into the room.

He looked up at you as partied your body over him. You looked down at the flesh that was being soaked in your wetness. The soft sounds that came out of your mouth drove him crazy.

“Look at me.” he whispered out. You look at him. He’s watching you intently as he bites his lip a little.

“You have pretty eyes. Very beautiful.” he whispers out with a grunt as he sits up. You both hold each other as both hips meet each other again and again. You both groan out each other’s names.

You could never sleep in your bed the same again. Not after knowing the person who was currently sleeping beside you. He looked comfortable. You felt comfortable. Many questions swirled in your brain but you didn’t want to stress yourself out with trying to be in the knowing. Whatever this was, you didn’t expect it to last for a long time but in a deep guilty way, you just didn’t want it to stop.

[boxheadpaint]

oh god when did i diary post last. Well as good a time as any

another year older today, though birthday festivities are actually taking place yesterday and tomorrow due to conflicting schedules and hannukah party stuff. spending this last week of DEMBER watching found footage / mockumentary horror and doing my best not to worry as much as usual to varying levels of success. still need to get refill on blood pressure meds because sleep is annoying again thanks.

joycon controller journey where in the end i grab those ergonomic ones which they only had the pokemon print ones in stock but theyre very nice. they make my switch wide and intimidating and it doesnt hurt to use which im not sure why i ever got used to that for normal joycons? I can take a few guesses though namely being yay videogames and being good at ignoring pain until its gone for a bit.

waiting back for exciting surgery news though knowing state health that wont be for a while! in the mean time just gonna look at fish and have a beautiful time. didnt actually super celebrate christmas this year, stayed home with partner. did have a gift from my mom (MICHEAL FATCAT VOLUME 2 LETS FUCKING GO. And a book on color combinations) for it and another for my birthday (immensely sexy natural illustration book) which was very nice and makes me happy. since she moved to mexico our schedules dont line up as well from timezones but the few calls we have had are nice. she got a puppy that made me cry over video from the smallness.

at this point i miss digital art enough that i am willin to brave the overheating and bluescreening of my surface again but maybe instead i could set up some stand made of welded paperclips or something so it can sit up and breathe again. Mom gave me her old one but its windows 11, then theres the yogas that doug has where one doesnt work with my pen and says ACTIVATE WINDOWS in the corner because it was probably some sensitive work thing while the other yoga has like. a mystery charger we have yet to find. we will likely try to downgrade moms from the windows 11 shit as best we can but god im not confident in it.

Every month i think i need to stop worrying about what people will think of my art, that their interpretations dont matter and i am doing what makes me happy and what keeps me interested. i also manage to forget this every month around the same time. i miss drawing very very quickly to make stupid funny pictures for people, its a lot better at conveying how i feel and think than trying to pull from my limited vocabulary. written words are basically just another kind of picture that are funny and dont make any sense in any order you say them and will never get across what you are trying to say.

okami HD was 5 dollars on the switch. its been a lot of fun to play through it again after all this time- when i was a kid i thought after orochi i beat the game and that whatever else was going on was a weirdly long postgame. i stopped at the VERY near end of act 2 because of the fucking blockhead warrior guy was impossible for me. i was trying to get footage of the weakpoints on a flipphone with my family behind me like mission control. now that im an adult man with reading comprehension and a smaller screen with a built in screencapture function im sure i will get just as mad as i did back then.

12/28/2024, I keep accidentally not hydrating enough day-to-day and i still need a shower. gonna go fuckin water mode

[lsunstreakerl]

hi! i must say i really love your fics and i’m currently re-reading the first chapters of Search History (because i can’t get enough) and i came across this bit:

   "I am so afraid of losing people I love, Max. That is why I did not approach you sooner, because I thought if I got close, if I loved you, something bad would happen to you too." He sniffs, and suddenly he really does have the waterworks going, worse than Max has ever seen from him before.

   "But then Silverstone happened and you got hurt anyways. And I realized it does not matter if I love you from close or afar, and if I am going to love you then I want to do it right. "

and i know SH deals a lot with the consequences of Silverstone ‘21 on Max’s health but i was wondering if you have any insight on Charles’ immediate or short term reaction to the event, specially given that they were not together at the time.

again, love your work! it scratched an itch i didn’t know i had regarding RB garage dynamics

The way I literally disappeared off the face of the earth sorry guys 😭 it's been a rough winter and I've been working lots of unexpected hours but I should have some stuff uploaded soon!

Silverstone '21 is kind of the tipping point for Charles in Search History. I don't write a whole lot of Charles' viewpoint or dive too deep into his character a whole lot, because I don't write him very well (thanks, anon) and I'd rather keep him somewhat as a side character than completely butcher his development. There's a bit more of him in the next chapter of Famiglia, but as far as Search History you probably still won't see a whole lot for the fic itself, but I might try to expand a bit in the rest of the series.

Charles and Max have known each other their whole lives, and Charles has been paying attention to Max for several years at this point, but kind of what I'm alluding to in the chunk you've pointed out is that Charles feels like he's cursed or bad luck to the people he loves. He's seen so much death in the sport, and in his family, and it's always people he loves, people he really cares about, so obviously he's the problem, instead of just having terrible luck, because that totally makes sense, good job Charles.

So Charles is realizing that he cares about Max, really cares, and that scares the hell out of him, so he's trying not to get too close, or get too attached, because then bad things will happen.

And then Max gets his shit rocked at Silverstone, and Charles realizes that he was doing all of this, putting in all this effort to stay away, and Max got hurt anyways, which actually helps break a little bit of that toxic thought pattern for him.

He doesn't immediately do anything dramatic or declare undying love of any of that lol, he just starts letting himself get closer. When Max wants to talk to him after a race, Charles yaps back to his hearts content. They start texting more. Charles seeks out Max to debrief sometimes, instead of Max always coming to him. They meet up in Monaco for lunch, they go on runs together, they spend more time with each other.

Charles still has a lot of anxiety surrounding Max and his eyes after he finds out, and it also creates a bit of a weird dynamic with Lewis going into them being teammates- Lewis doesn't know why Charles is sometimes nice and sometimes not, and Charles is trying to be a good friend and teammate but sometimes when he looks at Lewis all he's thinking of is Max. (This also leads into a really competitive year with Lewis and Charles. Charles is absolutely dead set on refusing Lewis his 8th, and Lewis is like "I understand competitiveness but this seems personal" and Charles is standing there lying through his teeth when he reassures Lewis it's not personal.)

Search History will have a Max and Lewis conversation about the accident. I want to make it clear that I'm not painting Lewis as a villain in this story, because sometimes shit happens, and sometimes that shit can fuck you up long term. It's exactly what it was called- an accident.

Sorry that got a bit rambling. Search History has been fighting me a bit in these last few chapters, so I keep rewriting things because I'd rather take longer and put out something I like than rush it and be unhappy about it later. I promise I'm working on it 🤍

[jiminrings]

PRESIDENT RINGS 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ don't think we forgot u saying that we have two more holiday fics 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ pretty pretty please can we get a teaser for yoongi being ur bff and him not being done loving his ex and u've been in love w him your whole life (yes i go back to your spoilers ask religiously to the point i memorized it) 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

anything sneak peek :-)

yoongi doesn't want to move on from his ex because she's everything he's ever known, whereas you want to move on from him because he's everything you've ever loved.

alternatively, yoongi's your best friend and you've been in love with him your whole life.

Yoongi's only ever been with one woman his entire life.

Ever since he turned old enough to introduce someone to his parents without them mistaking it for puppy love, which in his case was at seventeen years old, Yoongi quickly realized that he doesn’t ever want to introduce anyone other than Haein.

Yoongi, at his fresh age of seventeen, made a pact to himself to never bring someone home again if it’s not Haein, because bothering a nineteen-year old you for your own house slippers to lend to his girlfriend (he didn’t want to spend his allowance his buying a nice pair when he could just sacrifice his dignity by groveling at your feet for it) was too much of a hassle.

He didn’t like the fuss that came with forming crushes. Yoongi’s spent countless nights scrutinizing his first love’s actions during recess and microanalyzing her tone towards him from the morning earlier— he doesn’t want to go through any of that again. 

He doesn’t want the grown-up equivalent of it either, because all throughout high school and some bits of college wherein he and Haein were together and totally not broken up in a perpetual on-off cycle as usual, Yoongi thought that he was set for life with her.

Unlike you, he hasn’t had his share of multiple first kisses. Yoongi, not even once, stepped into a bar with wandering eyes and a hopeful perk to his tone. He hasn’t worried about making first impressions again, nor has he ever had to ask how many people came into the picture before him.

In Yoongi’s eyes, it’s only been Haein the entire time. There’s no before, during, and after her, even if the last phase in time is just something he hopes for and is not set into stone. 

It’s still Haein for him, the kind, starry-eyed girl that wore your house slippers when she stepped foot into his childhood home for the first time to meet his parents, and it’s been her ever since.

It’s still her, because she never knew that the slippers she wore was actually yours, which made it her one and only designated pair, so much so that she even took it with her when she moved in with Yoongi in their shared apartment.

It’s still her, because you’ve gone through multiple pairs ever since, and so did the boyfriends you took home to meet your family.

It’s still Haein, because Yoongi hasn’t moved on from her even if they broke up for good (or atleast that’s what you’ve heard in verbatim and what Yoongi refuses to confirm) a year ago.

"There's nothing wrong with being with someone new," you snort, your tone bordering on condescending to which Yoongi predicted correctly, simply because you’ve had this conversation a million times already. 

You told him that in your attempt to comfort him when Haein broke up with him back on the second semester of their first year in college, wherein he found himself wailing against your sheets at your dorm.

You told him that in your attempt to appease him when he broke up with her during their junior year, wherein he had to wipe at his tears furiously before fixing his tie because it was only hours before your graduation and both your parents downstairs are calling for a picture.

You tell it to him now too, in your attempt to convince both Yoongi and yourself, as he starfishes on your couch while reminiscing what could’ve been another anniversary (albeit choppy and not at all continuous) of the first time they held hands.

"Yes there is," he groans, his emotions maturing enough not to cry helplessly unlike the past breakups, but not enough to stop glomming onto you. “I don't want to talk about my favorite color again. I don't want to answer how many siblings I have. I don't want to be asked the extremely quirky question of whether I think pineapple belongs on pizza or not, again!"

"It's only normal to introduce yourself again and again until you find the right one for you!" you laugh, your self-built amusement keeping the entire situation light for you because if you don’t find a way to distract yourself from Yoongi holding onto Haein pathetically, just like how you do so with him, you’d be as devastated as him.

You’d be devastated too if you realize that there’s little to no chance of earning back the only person you’ve ever truly loved, if not more— except you’re not Yoongi, and he’s not Haein.

What you have to go through is more devastating because Yoongi’s never really been yours in the first place.

"But I want Haein to be right for me," he whines, his eyes sleepy from all the fatigue that comes with driving all the way to your place, just so he could be miserable around you and not apart from you. “Even if she's not, I want it to be her."

You’re quiet for awhile, and Yoongi doubts your silence because you’ve only ever chewed his ear off whenever he started moping about Haein. He’s noticed it ever since you were young; you’d never let a single second pass without overwhelming him with your words whenever he thought too deeply, too lowly about anything. You didn’t give him a break to even think when it comes to times like these, so Yoongi grows even more concerned when you give him a break.

He’s used to the noise that is you trying to distract him from everything that pains him.

"For the record, you already did those things twice in your life,” you murmur after some time, looking up from the glass of wine that Yoongi poured you and bought for your collection before he made the decision of crashing out over Haein in your living room.

"Oh my god, did I kiss someone while I was drunk? When you dragged me out for drinks last week? When-… when it was, uh, when it was the anniversary of me and her moving in and-…”

"No, you monogamous asshole," you interrupt, rolling your eyes. "You did it with Haein."

"What are you talking about?" Yoongi tilts his head, his eyebrows furrowed as he tries to comprehend what you’re saying.

You still look annoyed at him, as you’ve always done whenever he comes to you crying about her, but now, you look more subdued; like you’re a little more melancholic for god knows what reason (Yoongi knows it’s definitely not about him and Haein’s breakup), and a little less agitated at having to have this conversation for the nth time.

"I knew you first, Yoongi," you remind faintly, shoulders offering a weak shrug. "You had to do it all over again for Haein when she came into your life, but I don't see you complaining."

Yoongi hits pause on his agony to frown slightly, sitting up on your couch in order to nudge you with his shoulder. ”But that's different because I grew up knowing you. It's only natural for you to know me this way.”

The snort that leaves you borders on offensive, and Yoongi automatically narrows his eyes when he senses the hint of sarcasm in your smirk.

”You mean know you as intimately as your one and only girlfriend did? Maybe even more than Haein actually does know you?"

"If you put it that way it sounds weird, but yeah," Yoongi scoffs defensively, crossing his arms on his chest before looking up at the high ceilings of your apartment in surrender. “Aren't just close friends basically lovers without the formalities?"

Yoongi’s only ever been with woman his entire life.

You figure it’s because of that so he doesn’t know what he’s saying. 

You figure it’s because of Haein’s monopoly on his feelings and experiences that you convince yourself that Yoongi hasn’t been kicked around enough, to realize that what he’s saying is enough for you to assume a higher, closer place in his life.

You figure that Yoongi only knows love because of Haein and not love itself, enough for him to tell you that being close friends with him is the equivalent of loving him in that light, only without the coveted crown that comes with being his first and only love that Haein still possesses.

"You're right," you mutter, downing the rest of your wine and the assumption that Yoongi knows it’s him whom your hearts yearns for. "It does sound weird when you put it that way."

.

.

.

TADAAAA happy new year's eve-ish!!! also i feel the need to tell u that this may be one of my fave fics i've written to date :D this is the second out of the three fics i'll be releasing for the season :D

to get ahead of questions, YESSS this is a general fic, meaning it will be posted here on tumblr this january 5th, 12 am kst 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ but if u wanna read it now, along with a couple hundred exclusive pieces (get to know here), then head to my patreon :D (p.s. as a heads up, the last remaining holiday fic will be posted on patreon on the 1st, and just like this fic, it'll be posted on tumblr in january!!)