#and at the end everyone starting crying and clapping because it was such good 'artistic cinema'

[miffy-junot]

Last night I had a dream where my friends and I went to this weird cinema to see the deleted scenes from the Ridley Scott Napoleon movie and it was just this ten minute long artistic montage of Napoleon being sad and wandering around thinking emo thoughts about how lonely he was and then he tried to drown himself in a swimming pool.

[lemoncrushh]

Wild Horses - Eight

Summary: Amber Crosby didn’t end up with the life she’d expected, but that didn’t keep her from following her dream. A young, up and coming country recording artist, she and her band set out to do just that. Trying to leave her past behind, it wasn’t until meeting Harry Styles that she realized just how her life could take a turn and alter her future forever.

A/N: Please note all portions in italics are meant to be flashbacks :).

Warnings: Another angsty chapter, mentions of physical violence and drinking.

STORY PAGE

Chapter Eight Word Count: 4.7k+

“I will hold you up, I will help you stand, I will comfort you when you need a friend…” - Amanda Marshall; Believe In You

“Here,” Jeff said as he handed Amber the plastic cup of more ice than soda.

“Thanks,” she muttered, taking it from him.

Sneaking a sniff of the Coke, she was only partly disappointed to find that it wasn’t mixed with rum or whiskey. But as she took a large gulp, letting the carbonated beverage fill her throat, she was grateful.

Her manager took the seat next to her, on the side of the stage where Harry introduced the next song. It had taken every ounce of energy she’d had left to follow Jeffrey into the audience to watch Harry’s show. What she’d really wanted was to rush back to her hotel room and drink everything that called her name from the minibar. But after Jeff and Harry had sat her down in Harry’s dressing room, making sure she was at least physically okay, her manager had insisted she stay with him for the duration of the concert.

She hadn’t seen Carter since he’d stormed out after ridiculing her in front of everyone. Her guess was that he’d raved his own minibar, or even went to the hotel bar...not that she cared. He could take a long walk off a short pier as far as she was concerned.

Okay, maybe that wasn’t entirely true. Even after what he’d just said and done, she knew she had always had a soft spot for Carter, and probably always would. They’d been through a lot together, for fuck’s sake. He was the only one who knew everything about her. And he was a damn good drummer; she’d hate to lose him, as both a bandmate and a friend. But now…

“We’re not who we used to be…” she heard Harry sing.

God, if that didn’t hit home. Who they used to be… Who they used to be were two horny teenagers with a love for music and the bottle. Who they used to be were a lost girl with a need to be needed and a young man with a shoulder to cry on and an awaiting bed.

But Amber had grown. She knew she had. She’d known long before their signing with Full Stop Management, before the festival in Nashville where she’d first met Harry, even before her single had hit the airwaves. She’d known for a while that the knots that tied her to Carter needed to be loosened. She just hadn’t wanted to admit it because...well, if she was honest with herself, because she was scared.

“Trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat…”

Amber sighed. And then there was Harry. He’d already made her feel things - things she hadn’t thought she’d ever feel. He was a loyal friend and a kind soul, yes, but there was more. He made her feel...like she had a heartbeat again.

Finishing her Coke, Amber settled into her seat to watch the rest of the show. The crowd cheered when Harry’s band started into one of his big hits. With a smile, Amber clapped her hands and sang along. She noticed Jeffrey watching her, a grin on his face as he patted her arm.

Sometime towards the end of the concert, Amber looked up to see a tall figure coming down the aisle. Taking the empty seat next to her, Brendan leaned over to whisper.

“I just talked to Carter,” he said. “He wants to talk to you.”

Amber grimaced. “Too bad. I don’t wanna talk to him.”

“He wants to apologize.”

Leaning forward, Amber glared at him incredulously. “Are you fucking kidding me? For what exactly? Because as far as I see, I have a long list of apologies I’m long overdue. And he’s a little late. Tell him he can fuck off.”

“Amber-” Brendan began before Jeff cut him off.

“Hey, pssst,” he interrupted as he leaned over to address them both. “I don’t think this is the time nor the place to discuss this.”

“You’re right,” Amber nodded.

Brendan was silent until the song ended, then whispered in Amber’s ear again.

“Just so you know,” he said, “I’m on your side. He shouldn’t have grabbed you like that. I don’t know what his deal was, but that’s not cool.”

Shutting her eyes slowly, Amber inhaled. “Thanks Bren. But just so you know...that wasn’t the first time.”

Lifting her arm, Amber stretched it out flat across the arm rest, revealing the purple bruise. Even in the darkness of the arena, it was visible.

“Shit, Amber. I’m sorry. I had...no idea,” Brendan confessed, shaking his head.

With a mere nod, Amber lowered her arm, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. Turning her focus back to the stage, she watched as Harry performed his final song, an emotional number that brought the tears again. She didn’t mind, however. This time it was therapeutic, and she knew there would be more tears to come as she had a very difficult decision to make.

“This is probably my favorite song,” Carter mused, his fingertips lightly grazing across Amber’s shoulder as she laid on top of him.

“Really?” Amber mumbled against his chest, letting the classic George Strait song tickle her ears. “Hmm. Yeah, it’s a good one.”

“What’s your favorite song?”

“Don’t think I have one.”

“What? A singer always has a favorite song,” Carter argued. “You kinda have to, right?”

“Mmm, no, I disagree. I think it’s because I’m a singer that I don’t have a favorite. I love them all...like they’re a part of me. Or my children,” Amber giggled.

His hand roaming down her back, Carter was silent for a moment until a sound rose from his chest. “Hmm, I get that. Never really thought about it before, but it makes sense.”

“I’m glad you get me, Carter,” Amber remarked with a sigh. “Nobody else does.”

Slithering her naked body off of his, she reached for the glass on the nightstand that they’d been sharing and took a swig of the golden liquor.

“Hey. I doubt that’s true,” said Carter. “But I’m glad it makes you glad.”

With a slight smirk, Amber sat back on her knees and handed the glass to Carter. He took it eagerly as his free hand slipped up her stomach and cupped her breast.

“Can I ask you something?” he inquired, setting the glass back down.

“Depends…” Amber shrugged, her long hair falling down and around her shoulders.

“How many guys have you been with?”

“Ummm…” she paused, unsure if she wanted to answer.

Raising his brows, Carter took in her expression. “A lot?”

“How many is a lot?”

Carter chuckled nervously. “I don’t know. More than twenty?”

“God, no!” Amber swatted a hand at his chest.

“Alright, so ballpark.”

With another shrug, Amber grabbed at the sheets, twisting them in her hands. “I don’t think I wanna say.”

“More than ten?”

Amber shook her head. “No.”

She heard him sigh as he threw his arm behind his head. “Okay.”

The silence floated between them as the song changed to a modern country hit.

“How old were you…” Carter asked finally, “your first time?”

Stalling her answer, Amber lingered for a while before she laid down beside him. She smiled when he reached for her, his fingers finding their familiar spot on her lower back.

“Fifteen,” she replied softly.

“Hmm. Me too. Too bad I didn’t know you.”

“Oh?” Amber grinned. “Are you sorry I wasn’t your first?”

“Nuh uh,” Carter shook his head. “Sorry I wasn’t yours.”

Amber could hear the muffled voices as she drifted in and out of sleep. When Harry’s concert had ended, she’d been prepared to return to her room. But after hearing that Carter was wanting to see her, Jeff insisted it was best she stayed with him until he knew what to do about her drummer. Sitting on the sofa in Harry’s dressing room, she’d found herself starting to get sleepy - if not a little bored - so she’d crawled up on it, grabbing one of Harry’s pillows as she inhaled the intoxicating scent of his burning candle.

“I don’t want him anywhere near her,” she heard Harry remark. Though his tone was not a malicious one, his words revealed his level of anger.

“I think that should be her decision to make,” argued Jeff.

“Wha’ are you fuckin’ kiddin’ me, mate?” Harry exclaimed, his accent thickening as his irate words spewed from his lips. “If he lays one more finger on her-”

“I know, H, I agree with you there. But we don’t actually know for sure that he’s touched her.”

“She’s got a fuckin’ bruise on her arm, Jeffrey! I saw it! I know it was him. She wouldn’t tell me the truth; she gave me some bloody excuse about running into the wall. But I know it was him!”

“You can’t prove that, Harry. And even if it’s true, it’s her word against h-”

“Don’t fucking say it, mate!” she heard Harry growl. “Don’t you dare fucking say that!”

At those words, Amber stretched and sat up. “Could you guys stop talking about me like I’m not here?”

Both men glared at her then, their expressions of surprise mixed with concern.

“Sorry, Amber,” Harry sighed, his shoulders falling.

“Yeah...sorry,” Jeff muttered. “We thought you were asleep.”

“Well who could sleep with all this racket?”

With a sheepish grin, Harry crossed the room to sit beside her. “How are you feeling?” he asked tenderly, if not apprehensively.

“Exhausted. Worried. A little hungry if I’m being honest.”

“Oh,” Harry sounded, looking up at their manager. “Get her something to eat, Jeffrey.”

Amber watched the two men exchange looks, followed by an unspoken conversation with their eyes, eyebrows and hands that made her giggle.

“Seriously guys, I can find my own food,” she announced, rising from the couch.

“No!” Harry and Jeff yelled in unison. Then her manager spoke alone. “I can...get you something. Anything particular you’re hungry for?”

Amber shrugged. “Honestly, a sandwich is fine.”

“No, you had that earlier,” Harry argued. “You need real food.”

Amber rolled her eyes as Jeffrey declared he’d find something. As soon as he left the dressing room, Amber heard another sigh from Harry. Looking over at him, she took in his stare.

“Okay, you can stop looking at me like I’m a china doll,” she said.

“Sorry. I’m just...worried about you.”

Amber gazed down at her hands, twisting the silver ring on her right pointer.

“I’m worried too,” she admitted. “I think we both know what I have to do.”

Harry nodded. “You know, Jeffrey can find a replacement. I don’t reckon it would be too hard to find another drummer...at least for the rest of the tour.”

“Yeah. That’s not the part I’m worried about.”

As her body began to shake with held back sobs, Harry scooted closer to her on the sofa, his hand running up her back until it reached her shoulder.

“Hey,” he whispered softly as Amber let out a tiny cry. “C’mere.”

Amber allowed his arms to pull her against him, his warm embrace comforting her once again as she whimpered.

“It’s gonna be okay,” he promised. “Maybe not right away, but it will be. Everything’s gonna work out.”

“What if it doesn’t, Harry?” she cried. “What if...I have to leave?”

“Leave? What do you mean?”

Amber lifted her head to look at him, his calm and questioning eyes causing another tear to fall from hers. He immediately swiped it away with the pad of his thumb, his touch so gentle yet so fleeting, she felt empty inside as soon as it was over.

“Why would you have to leave?” Harry asked again.

“Because…” she gulped. “I’ve caused so much trouble already. Carter’s probably never gonna talk to me again, and Brendan and Johnny are gonna be mad at me-”

“Hey!” Harry interrupted, his brows furrowed. “Amber. None of this is your fault. Don’t ever think that.”

Shaking her head, Amber hiccupped. “It is though. If I hadn’t come on this tour… Jeff’s already having to deal with my shit, and we only just started. I knew how Carter was and his feelings towards me, and I guess I couldn’t stop it-”

“Amber,” Harry interjected again as his hand traveled up her bruised arm. “What has he done to you?”

His eyes pleaded for her honesty, and with a sigh, Amber knew she had to tell the truth.

“You were right,” she admitted. “I lied about running into the wall.”

Sitting back, his chest falling, Harry took her hand. “What happened?”

Sniffling, she recalled the evening, just over twenty-four hours ago, although now it felt like eons.

“He was angry,” she muttered. “We’d just eaten burgers in my room and...he was angry that I was leaving to meet with you.”

Harry’s eyes were locked on her face, his jaw set, and she knew he was waiting for her to continue.

“He grabbed me and twisted my arm. Then he held me down on the bed.”

Amber watched Harry’s stone expression as he exhaled through his nose. “Has he...done that before?”

“No. Well...yeah. He’s pushed me against the wall a couple times. Gotten in my face and called me names. He gets kind of out of control like that when he’s pissed off and drunk. But he’s never hit me.”

His shoulders falling with a sigh, Harry looked like he might cry. “Amber…”

“I know, I’m defending him,” she shrugged, wiping another tear. “It’s just...we’ve been through so much, I know he still cares about me…”

“No!” Harry shouted, making her jump. “No, Amber, he doesn’t! How can you say that?”

“Harry, I probably wouldn’t even have this band if it wasn’t for him!”

Amber took in the incredulous look on Harry’s face just as the door flew open, and Jeff returned.

“Food’s on its way,” he explained. His gaze followed the two faces on the couch, his eyebrows lifting in question. “What’s going on?”

Running a ringed hand through his hair, Harry leaned back. “She told me how she got that bruise.”

“And?”

“I was right.”

Jeffrey looked at Amber, then Harry and back. “You know you can press charges.”

Amber shook her head slowly. “No.”

“Of course not,” Harry rolled his eyes as he dropped his hand on the couch next to him, exasperated.

“Something I should know?” Jeff inquired.

“I think I’ve caused enough trouble here,” muttered Amber as she rose from the couch. “Thanks for the food, Jeff, but I think I’ll just get something sent to my room.”

“Amber,” called Harry as she reached the door.

“What’s going on here?” Jeff asked again.

Tears began to stream down her face rapidly as Amber turned around to face them both.

“I’m so sorry,” she cried. “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen, but it is my fault. You’ve both been so kind to me, but I don’t deserve it. I have way too much baggage for either of you to handle. It was stupid of me to think I could do this. I should go home now.”

“No!” both men exclaimed in unison.

Rising from the sofa, Harry crossed the room. “Amber. I’m sorry I got angry. I just...I don’t understand how you can continue to cling to-”

Ending his thought, he could tell he was letting his emotions affect his words. Reaching his hand for hers, he looked into her eyes. “Please don’t go, love. It’s gonna be okay. We’ll get through this. Jeffrey will get you a new drummer. And I’ll be here to help...in any way I can. Because I’m your friend...and because...I care about you.”

Amber stared at his hand that he’d pressed to his chest to seal his promise. Wiping another tear away, she shrugged.

“Honestly, I don’t know why you do, seeing as I keep screwing things up-”

“Shhh,” he sounded as he pulled her into another hug. “Stop with that.”

Amber let him hold her for a few moments, her crying subsiding as she laid her head on his shoulder. Soon, a knock sounded on the door and the two of them stepped back while Jeff answered it. Bringing in two large bags, he placed them on the table and began unloading their contents. Wiping her eyes, Amber felt her stomach rumble.

“Wow that smells amazing,” she commented, walking to the couch.

Displayed before her was an enormous bowl of some kind of chicken pasta, a caesar salad and breadsticks.

“Eat up,” said Jeff with a grin.

“Hey, where’s mine?” Harry quipped.

Giving him an eye roll and a smirk, Jeff pulled out a large container filled with greens and handed it to him.

“I knew you wouldn’t forget me,” Harry chortled as he sat beside Amber.

“So, Amber,” offered Jeffrey as he took a nearby chair, “I know you probably don’t want to make any decisions right now, but under the circumstances, I don’t think it’s safe for you to be anywhere near Carter.”

“I know,” she agreed meekly.

“You’re supposed to be on the road soon to our next destination,” he continued. “I know you said you don’t want to press any charges, but with the time crunch, we do need to decide if we’re getting a replacement.”

Amber stole a glance at Harry before looking back at her manager. “Yes. I think we should.” She felt a hand press softly on her back as she let out a deep breath.

“Good. Then I will now leave you to your dinner, while I go have a little chat and make some phone calls,” Jeff announced. “Call or text me if you need anything.”

“Thanks, Jeff,” said Amber, the warm breadstick melting in her mouth as Harry’s hand gingerly rubbed up and down her back.

“I’m so proud of you,” she heard him say when the door shut.

Pausing the fork in her hand, she looked up at him. “Thanks.”

Leaning forward, Harry placed a short, soft kiss on the top of her head. The tender touch seemed to flip her entire insides all the way to her toes like the feeling of the descending drop on a roller coaster. Biting her lip, she eyed Harry’s big ass salad and giggled.

“What?” he asked, a cute expression of inquiry on his face.

“You eat like a rabbit.”

Harry chuckled then, the sound ringing through the room. Amber felt her stomach twinge again, like the feeling of a thousand butterflies dancing.

“I’d offer you some of this,” she said, “but you probably don’t eat carbs.”

With a smirk, Harry reached over and swiped a cream-covered noodle, popping it into his mouth.

“Ooh, one noodle,” Amber joked, her eyes wide. “Call the pasta police now!”

Shaking his head, a shit-eating grin on his face, Harry reached for his water bottle.

“Oh. Cheers,” said Amber, opening her own bottle.

Harry raised a brow. “A toast?”

“Why not. But you go.”

“Alright,” Harry cleared his throat and raised his water. “To Amber Crosby. The bravest girl I know.”

Her smile faltering, Amber reluctantly tapped her bottle against Harry’s.

“I don’t know about that,” she remarked.

“I do,” declared Harry. “You keep saying you’ve been through a lot. This is just one more thing, love. You can get through this, too. I know you can. I believe in you.”

Blinking to keep the tears at bay, Amber gave a small smile. “Thank you, Harry. I just wish I could believe in me, too.”

The hotel was peaceful and still when they made their way back at the wee hours of the morning. Jeffrey had called Harry, asking to be put on speaker phone as he explained his settlement. Carter was no longer part of the tour, nor part of the band. Apparently there had been some kind of row, Carter getting angry and overturning a chair and punching a wall when Jeff had given him the news, to which Harry had not been surprised. Security arrived, and Carter had then broken down in tears, begging to speak to Amber. When Jeff had told him he didn’t think that was a good idea, he’d thrown his belongings in his suitcase and announced he was leaving on the next flight.

Jeffrey had security escort them to the hotel and see them to the elevator. Stepping off the lift, Harry looked both ways before heading for Amber’s door, the silence almost overwhelming. Jumping at the sound of another door opening, he exhaled when he saw it was only Clare.

“Hi,” she greeted quietly. “I heard what happened. Is everything okay?”

“It will be,” Harry sighed, stealing a peek at Amber who nodded.

Without a word, Clare gave Amber a sympathetic look before opening her arms. Amber walked right into them, allowing the friendly embrace.

“I’m so sorry,” Clare murmured. “I should have known.”

“How could you have known?” asked Harry.

“Women’s intuition. She gave hints, so I knew something was wrong, but I didn’t pick up on it exactly.”

“It’s okay, Clare,” said Amber. “I didn’t really want anyone to know.”

Looking at her tear-stained face, Clare cupped her cheek. “I understand.”

With one last hug, Clare said goodnight and returned to her room. Harry stood and examined the empty hallway while he waited for Amber to retrieve her key. Jeffrey had asked that he keep an eye on her until she went to bed, and he was determined to do just that. In fact, he would have done it regardless of Jeff’s order.

Pushing her door open, Amber turned to Harry with a bashful grin. “I’d invite you in for a nightcap, but I guess that’s pretty much out of the question now.”

“Yeah,” he blinked, “but I would like to make sure you’re okay. If...that’s okay with you.”

“Of course.”

Stepping into the room, Harry made sure the door was locked behind him before turning around. Amber stood next to the dresser, removing her earrings and bracelets. Despite everything that had happened in the last few hours, she still looked remarkable, her cheeks glowing a peachy-pink that matched the cute little dress she wore, her long hair in curls that cascaded down her back. Harry thought about how resilient she was. He still didn’t know her entire backstory, but he hoped that little by little he could chip away at the stone, and she’d let him in completely.

“I could really use a shower,” she announced as she sat on the bed to remove her boots. “Do you mind?”

“Not at all.”

“I’ll just be a few minutes,” she promised, shutting the bathroom door.

Harry sat on the bed as he heard the shower begin and scrolled through his phone. He was halfway deciding to tweet a thank you to his fans for coming to the show when a knock sounded on the door. Perplexed, since most everyone was asleep by now, he wondered if it was Jeffrey. Crossing the room, he shoved his phone in his pocket.

“Who is it?” he called firmly, but not too loud.

When no one replied, he heard another knock, this one more emphatic than the one before.

“Harry?” Amber called from the bathroom.

“I’m here!” he assured her.

“Okay. I thought I heard someone knocking.”

Deciding not to inquire who it was again, Harry unlocked the door and opened it just a crack as he remained behind it.

“Amber!” the voice growled. Shit.

Stepping around the door, Harry let himself be known as Carter stared him down.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” he asked Harry.

“I should be asking you that.”

“I need to talk to Amber,” confessed Carter.

“I don’t think you do.”

Just then, the sound of the bathroom door opening startled them both as Amber emerged, a towel wrapped around her body.

“Amber!” Carter bellowed, using his shoulder to try to push the door open.

“What’s he doing here?” she gasped with wide eyes. “Leave me alone!”

“Amber, you have to hear me out, please!”

“I don’t have to do anything!” she yelled. Then she looked at Harry with pleading eyes.

“Time for you to go, mate, she doesn’t want to see you,” Harry explained, nudging the door.

“Don’t tell me what to do you, you son of a bitch! And stop calling me mate! This is all your fault! I got kicked out of the band because of you!”

“I reckon that was all your doing, Carter. Now, please leave.”

Ignoring his plea, Carter tried his best to push the door open as he continued to call out to Amber. Suddenly losing his footing, Harry stumbled back as Carter succeeded, barging into the room. Amber screamed as she backed into the table, clutching her towel.

“Amber, please!” cried Carter. “I won’t hurt you! I just need to talk to you!”

“Like hell you do!” called another voice.

Carter turned to see the stern faces of his now ex-manager and ex-bandmates.

“I believe you were leaving,” said Jeffrey, folding his arms across his chest.

“The fuck is this?” shouted Carter.

“Everything okay here, Mr. Azoff?” asked another voice just as the security guard made his way through the crowd.

“Yes. Please see that this young man gets escorted downstairs. There’s a car waiting to take him to the airport,” replied Jeff.

The security guard gave a quick ‘yes sir’ and reached for Carter, who resisted. With a look of disdain, he glared at Amber, then Harry before reluctantly following the guard out of the room. Momentarily shaken up, Harry noticed Amber in the corner, still clutching her towel as she sobbed. Crossing the room, he took her into his arms where she once again cried against his chest.

“Amber, we’re so sorry!” called Johnny from the hallway.

“Yeah, Amber,” Brendan echoed.

“That’s enough guys, we’ll all discuss it tomorrow,” conveyed Jeff as he reached for the handle and let the door shut, leaving Harry and Amber alone.

“Harry…” Amber whimpered, her body trembling.

“Shhh, it’s alright,” Harry cooed as he held her tight. “He’s gone now.”

After several deep breaths, Amber made a sound, making Harry lift his head.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“I’m...not dressed,” she blushed. “How embarrassing.”

With a slight twitch of his lips, Harry stepped back, releasing her. “Would you like me to turn away?”

“No, um...I’ll just grab something and go to the bathroom.”

Still wanting to show some courtesy, Harry turned his back as she reached in her bag and made a beeline for the toilet. When she returned, her oversized t-shirt barely grazing the bottoms of her little shorts, he tried his best not to stare as he sat on the bed.

“Thanks…” she said shyly as she stood before him, running a brush through her damp hair, “...for staying. And everything.”

Harry merely nodded, unsure what else to say that he hadn’t already said.

“I’m so ashamed.”

“I promise, I didn’t even take a peek, love,” Harry claimed, holding up his hands.

“No,” Amber blushed again, dropping her brush on the table and taking a seat next to him, “not about that.”

“What for?”

“Because…” she sniffled, “I thought he had to hit me for it to...you know.”

His face falling, Harry nodded slowly. “I know.”

“I just…” Amber bit her lip. “I thought no one would believe me. That it was my fault because I’d told him I didn’t wanna be with him like that anymore. I thought I owed it to him to continue being in a band with him even though we weren’t together. That I’d led him on with the flirting and the drinking and…”

“Shhh, baby,” Harry lifted his finger to silence her, pressing it to her lips. “It’s alright now.”

He stared at her pretty tear-stained face, her blue eyes full of innocence and longing. He was unsure why he’d let the term of endearment fall from his lips, but he didn’t regret it. Sliding his finger away from her mouth, he brushed away another stray tear from her cheek as she continued to stare at him.

“I’m scared, Harry,” she admitted quietly. “Please help me. I don’t know how to do this alone.”

tagging: @freedomfireflies, @daphnesutton

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[randomfoggytiger]

React: "Return to Me" (from the POV of Someone Averse to RomComs, Part II): I Become a Bonnie Hunt Fangirl

Continued from Part I (see here)

Minnie is saved!

Um... Bob's not doing too well. He wants to walk the dog. Charlie has already walked Dog (my muse from Part I.)

"Okay. Thanks."

Charlie's following him around but he respects Bob's unspoken need for distance.

Charlie's really taking it hard, but I know Bob's going to have an epic meltdown once the ice thaws (to loosely quote Grace Kelly's boyfriend-character Mark in Dial M for Murder: "Later, you're going to have a beautiful cry.")

Ohhhhhhhhh, got it. The dog (Mel? ...still better than Bob) waits by the door for Jane Bennett every time.

They kicked up the 90s slow memory sequence.

And Bob's crying.

Okay, he's really crying.

Okay, I dig this.

Bob, you've endeared me to Bob. I shall lay "the bit" to rest in peace. ...With Elizabeth.

Look, I know that was a low blow, Bob, but it had to be done.

Old grandfather prays to his favorite battle saint for Minnie's heart.

Bonnie? the mom friend is an actual mom wrangling her entire family, including the older generations.

Old grandpa Marty is devoted to his candle and prayers.

More 90s slow mo--

I was going to say this reminds me of the 90s slow dance slow mo sequences I typically think are in romcoms and now it's back to Bob while he continues to sob on the floor as Mel (who is no longer my stand-in, I suppose, you can't come back from a name like Mel) sits there, unfazed.

Oooh, look--

beautiful shot.

Grandpa is the only one awake-- prayed that heart back to life.

And the camera goes back to Bob when the heart starts beating again, waking him up.

Coincidence? With Tuscany and vacations and romance to be had???

Minnie Driver's painting. Good for her representing the artistic girlies.

Old men bonding over music while grandpa keeps an eye on his granddaughter. Is this how we and our mutuals sound?

Methinks he will sniff out the jig and bring all the pieces together by the end (because there's got to be a 3/4 misunderstanding, right?)

I like how casual Bonnie Hunt's style is-- it's a gentle, lived-in world.

Grace, as we shall now call her, bikes in the street with kids-- not, as her grandfather cautioned, on the side of the road.

Doctor's appointment!

"Oh, of course I'm happy. What else am I going to be?"

..................Yeahhhhhhhhhh, you're not happy.

Grace: saved from death, still insecure about her scar, and slowly bumping herself back to life. An imperfect survivor, a normal human.

A mood.

"I'm alive and someone else is dead." A mild form of survivor's guilt, I see, I see.

"He's a great listener" was a great joke.

Bob is grumpy and determined and driven I see.

Two morbid souls will collide at the zoo over the rubber monkey enclosure, I reckon.

Another girl, another mood:

It's been a year and friend Bonnie finally convinces her to mail the "thank you for your heart" letter.

"Okay, everyone clap for Auntie Grace, she just mailed a very important letter." Amazing.

Bonnie shoving everyone past the construction workers was also amazing.

Bonnie's a fave (and love that she gave herself-- if this is the same Bonnie-- a great role that doesn't outshine the main leads. It's respectful and kind.)

Bob still obsessively guards Jane Bennett's memory.

The heart's pumping again. Pumpity pump pump.

Bow chicka-- nope, they missed each other.

But Grace felt something and highlighted that her heart beating didn't hurt (hmmmmmmmmmmm foreshadowing.)

I CALLED IT the gorilla's doing the hand thing that he used to do with Jane Bennett aka Elizabeth... lastnamehere, ahem ahem.

Bob's mad and tells off a board room.

"I'm here because of my wife. You got it?"

Thank you for that shot, Bonnie.

I'm becoming a big Bonnie fan, as you can tell.

Charlie is setting his man up with a date only a year later, right after he tore apart a board room AND is working his men overtime for his late wife??? ...Charlie, my man, you're going to have to work miracles. You should meet Minnie Driver's Catholic grandpa, he'd adore you.

Wait, Charlie's a vet? Oh, wait, yeah, he works at the zoo.

Introducing new kid on skates.

"Look at you! Where are you going?"

"I don't know!"

This is the quality content I hoped for.

Skates boy holds down the fort-- a valuable guy.

"C'mon, pal," Bob chastises because Mel won't kick the "wait for Elizabeth" habit. (In the first part I likened the dog to be my self-insert. This dog is nothing like me, and I am immeasurably disappointed.)

Subtle touch of immense irritation at someone knocking on the door.

Is it time to reenact how happy he was compared to how mad he'll get at Mel now? The set up and payoff?

Here we go.

"Eat back here like a normal person--"

Chuckle worthy, but also.

He softens up; but the dog doesn't budge too much.

"You made it halfway."

That's the theme, I'll bet.

"You gotta snap out of it, buddy."

This makes Bob reflect, and he decides to kick some of his own Pavlovian responses-- and ends up on a truly horrendous date.

At least, I know that part's coming up and I'm pumped.

The old men's song convo comes back: they were selecting music for their restaurant. Nice touch.

Grandpa surprises her with tickets to Italy to paint cuz he was staring earlier at her painting earlier and it's these little moments that make me repeat words like "earlier" too frequently.

The waitress lady missed Grace's initial reaction and is put out. The banter is epic.

And Angelo talked the grandpa into it and Minnie knows this and thanks them all in a way that reflects their separate bonds. Good storytelling.

Angelo set her up with a hair transplant man (reminds me of a joke Bill Burr? told about stapling ants to your head for vanity's sake.)

Angelo's taste in vacations? Top tier.

Angelo's taste in men? Absolute bottom tier... though the guy's cheerful, so there's that.

I love this.

I don't even need a romance at this point I just want to watch the two live their separate, slowly recovering lives.

Enjoy!

[thetopcabinet]

Creative Writing Exploits #2

I wanna do this daily, but since this is the first day, I might as well post 2. This one is a short story. We were given a random name generator and told to make a character that has a trait derived from their name. My character’s name was Dulce Vela. Here’s what I got from that. (Idk the text limit, this may end up being more than one post.) 

“Ok. I’m gonna have to ask you to”

“B-But it’s two weeks away! We have to talk about entry fees or we’re gonna.”

She slammed her phone on the table. The cafeteria fell silent, as if they were trained to do so.

“No. One. Interrupts me.” Her honeyed expression gave way to horrifying glare. One Dulce has never seen before in her friend. Infact, she could barely recognize the face she saw before her. It was like a mask was finally lifted, revealing the horrible monster that lay beneath it.

“I’ve had enough of your STUPID convention, and your STUPID shows. Like, NO ONE CARES!”

   Ya” one of her cohorts spoke up. “You, like, NEVER. Shut up about it. It’s like you’re obsessed or something.”

Dulce mustered the courage to speak again. “Yeah. T-T-thats how planning works. If we don’t talk about it, it doesn’t happe-”

The queen hushed the peasant that had the gaul to speak up again. “I. Wasn’t Finished.”

Her majesty took out a hand mirror, and started applying lipstick like it was going to make the next sentence come out sweeter. It didn’t. “People like you are the reason why I hate bookworms. You show a bit of interest, and next thing you know, they’re begging for their next meal.”

She inched closer. “More validation. More attention. More…treats. More, and more and more.” The handmirror clapped shut. “And you’re never. Satisfied.”

Dulce began to shiver, feeling her resolve melt. “Thats….That’s what friends are..”

The queen grinned at the response. “Then I hope you’re starting to get the picture. That’s why we’re not going!”

“What?”

"Wait, so you REALLY thought we were going?" The queen of the trio bursted into laughter. Followed by her cohorts, then their half of the cafeteria.

Her candied heart broke and fell, as a chorus of laughter pounced on her, eager to pick up the scraps. Dulce had been planning this for months. She raised enough money to afford the expensive entree fee. She threw away opportunities to go to other conventions just so she had enough saved up to go to this one with everyone. And they said no. 2 weeks before the con.

They could've said it before. No, they could have said it AGES ago. They instead, toyed with  their pet. Promising her that they will pay for their entry. Lying that they were interested in the series. Even going as far as to fake watching the show by screenshotting their progress, yet never fulfilling it. Playing with the idea of going, entertaining her imagination with possible scenarios that could happen during their stay. Her frustration and hopelessness came out as sniffles and tears.

"Ugh. I can't believe you're crying over this." She brushed her hair aside, pointing her nose up at her. "Listen here, Dulce. We. Don't. Like. You. Never did, never will."  A group formed around the table, savoring every moment of her misery.

 "Sweetie, we only kept you around because you're book smart." Cohort number 2 perked up, pouring more salt into the wound. "But at this point, if you're going to be this annoying, we might as well find someone else. Like, I'm sure there are plenty of you in this school.” She scanned her like an artist standing up after focusing on a small section of their artwork. “Gullable, geeky, and good at academic nonsense.

“Ya” The 1st one spoke once more. “I can think of, like, 20 students just like that.”

The bell rang. Dulce tightened her fist, and turned to shove her way through the crowd. She pushed past the tears in her eyes, the fury burning in her chest, and ran. She never knew that something, someone who seemed so sweet could be so heartless. Like a lollipop missing, it's chewy, gummy inside. Her mind ran wild with questions.

         “How could they do this to me!?” She thought. “How could anyone be this mean? It takes EFFORT to be this mean. Who would do that to someone?!” She turned into an empty classroom and flicked a dim light on, attempting to collect her thoughts. Her heart rate and breathing said otherwise. “5 seconds in, 5 seconds held, 5 seconds out.” Dulce managed to mumble to herself, as she applied her mothers method of calming down. She took in the darkness of her barely-lit environment. The way light begged to come in from beneath the main entrance. The dark clouds that let out their emotions onto the window, along with thunderous screams. With a sigh of relief, she managed to reign herself in. Then, she began to process.

The darkness of the room seeped into her headspace. She reminisced on the days they spent together. The slumber parties, the group activities, the lunches, all with a newfound lens of cynicism. “So all of that…Was a lie.” She said. ”All of it. A coat of honey to attract all kinds of people. Just to devour them later.” She looked at herself in a mirror. She was wearing a pastel pallet. A Green and yellow jacket with pink shoes. Her eyebrows furrowed. “Well, I won’t fall for it." She announced. “Not anymore.” She took off her jacket and tied it around her waist, revealing the plain black t-shirt that was underneath it. The classroom door opened, and out came Dulce, with a newfound layer of bitterness. Students who asked “Are you ok,” were met with a stink eye, and a grunt. They didn’t care, not really, anyway. The teacher raised concern as well, but her grades were good. Great, even. She used it as a shield to push away their sympathy. “Give your help to someone who needs it.” She said, “I. Don’t.” She meandered through the rest of her school day, drove home, and collapsed in her mattress with one thought at the forefront. “I. Hate. Sweets.”

The next morning came. She awoke to her room filled with vivid colors, a closet filled with pastel, and posters with various quotes about kindness.

“Disgusting.” She thought, as she put away everything “sweet” about her room in labeled boxes. There was barely anything left. Only a black hoodie with a character from a novel she liked remained in her closet. She shrugged, gotta make due with what you have. She walked downstairs, giving each of her family members a dry, but authentic “morning.” Wasn’t a good morning for her, so why bother lying that it was one. Ding! The coffee machine finished brewing. This is what the family would call the base of their coffee. A blank canvas, waiting to be filled with goodies. Her parents preferred milk and syrup, while her siblings rotated between an abundance of nutmeg, creamer, or just brown sugar. Dulce decided to try something new. She poured herself a mug of pitch black coffee, and drank it. With out adding anything to it. Her family screamed as if she just drank poison.

“Sis….are you…ok?” Her younger brother asked.

“Don’t worry honey, help is on the way!” Her mother announced, as she began to dial 911.

“Oh no, not my baby!” Her father shouted, snatching the mug from her hands.

Dulce swallowed. Her face scrunched up like a child drinking cold medicine. It tasted awful, yet, she wanted another try. “Hey dad.” She spoke, as she slowly pried the mug from his huge hands. “I don’t think I’ll die from drinking this. Let me give it another try.”

Her dad gave her the mug, surprised she was still standing. “Is she immune?” Her family thought as one, as she took another sip. Then another. And another. “Huh, this isn’t so bad.” She thought. It was a nice change of pace from the syrupy flavors she’s accustomed to. It was pure and honest in its bitterness. She took the mug with her, and grabbed her keys from the trunk of an elephant shaped hanger as she waved goodbye. She was going to be late if she didn’t start driving now.

Dulce sat down at her first class. A few empty seats remained after everyone else flooded in. Dulce eyed the one in the middle of the front row. That was where she was supposed to be sitting. But the queen and her royal court occupied the front of the classroom, and she was just exiled from that kingdom. They barely paid her any mind and continued gawking about other people. Strange they had so much to say about others, but so little about themselves.

         Dulce smirked, as she began writing down her history notes. “Fourscore and seven blah blah blah.” She mumbled, as she neatly scribed and organized her pages. American history was the least interesting topic to her. Not only has she learned about it several times from pre-school to high school, but she found the history of any other nation much more interesting than hers. Especially in architecture, which was one of her favorite subjects. Then, out of the blue, a tippity tap prodded at her left.

“Excuse me.” A girl whispered. “I was a bit late to class, could’ya help me catch up on notes?

         She was shaken. She acted as unapproachable as possible. Who had the courage to poke at something as dangerous as a teenager who had a bad day? Dulce turned and prepared to face the beast to her left. The beast was a blonde-haired, green-eyed girl with a pink hoodie with cat ears on it. All wrapped up with a big smile. She was horrifying.

         “Uh. Yeah, sure.” She shrugged. Dulce knew the teacher kept the slides up forever since he talked kind of slow. This left a decent amount of time for her to scribble a bit on what the slide she’s missing was generally about, so she didn’t mind missing a slide or two. “Oh thanks! You’re a sweetheart.” The girl said, as she accepted the notebook with a wink, and a giggle.

         The words cut through Dulce like a heart-shaped dagger. “Don’t. Call me that.” Dulce said, with a cold and empty stare as a follow up.

         “Call ya what?” The girl asked, tilting her head. “I uh, didn’t mean to offend, sugar.”

         “What’s your name?” Dulce asked, pulling her hoodie off, revealing her black eyeshadow and black lipstick.

         “Dahlia! And I know you’re Dulce, the teacher calls on ya often.”

         And as if on cue, the teacher called her. He asked what Rockefeller's most lucrative business was, and she said oil without turning to the teacher. Dulce was far more…curious about this girl that started talking to her. The teacher…nodded the correct answer, and started lecturing the class again, giving a curious eye to the conversation in the back row.

         “Well, Dahlia.” She started, “I believe that sweetness is a lie, and I don’t associate with that anymore.” She proudly announced.

         “Huh.” Dahlia pouted, as she said “That’s weird. It was awful sweet of you to give up your notes durin’ the middle of a lecture.”

         Dulce blushed, flustered. “I-It wasn’t sweet! I can think of so many people that would do the same that I would.” She said.

         Dahlia raised an eyebrow. “Any of 'em in this classroom?”

Dulce opened her mouth and put her finger up, ready to point at someone. She scanned the room for someone worthy of the point, going over the royal court in the front, the hyper focused academics in the middle, and the ones that snore in the back. It came up negative.

         “N-No...” Dulce said, bashfully.

         “Well, that means you’re sweet! Unless you’re a liar. And you don’t seem like one to me.” She giggled as she pushed her notes to her right and began writing with her right hand. She was conveniently ambidextrous.

         “That’s not true!” Dulce almost shouted. Wasn’t loud enough to alert the class, but loud enough to wake up some of the sleepyheads in the back row. They came alive and looked in the direction of a girl in a black hoodie. Dulce retreated back into it and began grumbling to herself. Sweet? SWEET?! How could she call me that?! Being sweet meant I was more like…them. Like I was being nice to gain something out of it. I’m not sweet, I am bitter! Bitter and honest! Know what, I’ll prove it to her! Prove to her that I’m a wakeup call! A stick of black licorice waiting under the wrapper! She finalized her thoughts, and popped out of her hoodie, ready for round two. Dahlia wore a sad expression initially. But, seeing Dulce’s competitive smile made her grin, as she held her notebook out.

         “Here.” Dahlia said, placing it on Dulce’s desk. “I just finished up.”

         “Oh uh. Thanks.”

         “I should be thanking you, swe-. I mean bitterheart? You called yourself bitter right?”

         Dulce nodded, but with a grimace. “Yeah, but that doesn’t roll off the tongue well.”

         “It doesn’t.” She agreed. “What’s this about being bitter anyway?” She queried. “To be honest, it doesn’t sound good to me.”

         “Well,” Dulce cleared her throat. “Like I said, sweetness is a lie. Everyone who’s sweet to you is always out to get something from you. It’s never out of genuine interest. Being bitter is much more honest than being sweet.” She threw her hands behind her head, feeling philosophical. “It can be rude sometimes, but it’s honest.”

         “Huh. So that’s how it is.” Dahlia began to think. She thought long and hard about her response. Dulce waited, feeling as if she stumped her opponent. At last, victory! She’ll have to admit that I’m right. And once she does…maybe we can be friends. Bitter friends are the only friends that won’t hurt me.

         “Well, what would you consider me then?” Dahlia asked.

         “Oh, you’re obviously sweet.” Dulce said with a smirk.

         “How so?”

         “You’re nice, but you have something to gain from this.”

         “Like what?”

         “My notes. They’re organized well and I have decent handwriting. Friendship with me means more access to them.”

         Dahlia snorted. “I admire your confidence, but I can write my own notes just fine! Plus, mine have lil’ piggies drawn in em’, so that makes it a little better in my opinion.”

         “Then it must be winning this argument. I dunno, you could have a big ego or somethin.” Dulce responded as she rolled her eyes, calling back on how competitive Mario Kart sleepovers got with her majesty whining whenever she got anything less than 3rd.

“I’m only tryin’ to understand ya.” She clarified. “This is an argument yes, but we both win in the end if we understand each other. And if you ask me, an egomaniac will want there to be a winner.”

         Dulce tilted her head. “Then why are you talking to me?”

         “Because I think you’re neat!” Dahlia said with a smile. “I wanna understand you.”

         “Ok, that can’t be true.” Dulce interrogated, as she shook her head. Understand me? Who would want to understand me without a reward at the end? “There has to be SOMETHING to gain from this. Something that only you benefit from.”

         “Well…I guess that’s true.” Dahlia grinned. “There is something only I gain from this.”

         Aha! There it is! “And what would that be?” Dulce’s eyes widened, and she waited to embrace victory.

         “Your friendship.”

         She stopped. “...Huh.”

         “Yup! Look how selfish I am.” Dahlia put her hands on her hips.

         Dulce looked at her desk, conflicted. She was being honest, but it didn’t hurt? It was bitter…yet sweet. Something that helped the medicine go down. She was reminded of her family back home. Word gets around fast, and her brothers attended the same school. They knew what happened and told their mother and father. Dulce assumed that they were asking what’s wrong and being nice to her just to get her to stop wearing dark clothing and to stop assuming this “new identity.” But they didn’t. Her brothers and father did their chores and Dulce’s for the night, and her mother is the one who helped her put on her make-up today. She was surprised to see that her mother had a variety of darker colors, all from her “younger, edgier self.” She said that she went through something similar, and if you stay like this forever, I’ll still love you the same. They all said something to that end.

“But how could that be?” She continued staring at the desk. “Those girls were honest to me. They said they didn’t like me. But they pretended to be nice…It was bitter and sweet.”

Dahlia took a second to think about what she was talking about and noticed her glance at the Queen in the front of the room. She realized that this was the girl that was making the rounds in the campus gossip.  “Oh, you mean them?” She nudged her head towards the royal menagerie

Dulce nodded slowly. The painful memories seemed to resurface in that moment of embarrassment. 

Dahlia giggled. “That’s not sweet! That’s the artificial kind of sweet. Y’know, it’s like the difference between an orange and an orange lollipop. An orange is sweet naturally while the artificial stuff is sweet…well, artificially!”

“Artificially….” Dulce repeated.

“Yeah!” She continued her oddly on topic orange facts. “Oranges may be sweet, but they got some bitter fiber in ‘em that makes the sweet’s go down easier. Artificial stuff ain’t got none of that and end up giving you cavities.”

Wow. She didn’t expect oranges to be so amazing, and relatable.

“Oranges are cool.” Dulce said. 

“Yup! They sure are” Dahlia beamed. “They’re my favorite fruit for a reason.”

…” I wanna be more like them,” Dulce realized. “Bitter and sweet.”

“Well, I think I’m already like that.” Dalilah posed proudly. “I may not look like it, but I don’t take guff from anybody. No-sir-e! I could help ya if you want?” She held out sweet hand.

Dulce laughed and thought for a second. “Hey…Wanna be my uh…bittersweet friend?”

Dahlia smiled a warm smile. “There is no better friendship than that. I’m in!” 

[yutahoes]

Ghost of You

pairing: idol! Yuta (NCT member) x idol! Y/N (solo idol-actress)

word count : 5k words

genre: angst

summary: He was the one who ended everything. But you’re like a ghost that kept haunting him. 

warning : break up, alleged cheating, pregnancy, a fic where you just want to strangle Yuta to death 

Based on this ask. I’m sorry, I tweaked the story and changed some of the song (especially the Olivia Rodrigo one because it doesn’t fit the story) The songs I used are linked in the story. Also, I have no idea how the idol world works and please note that this is just fanfiction. Please Enjoy reading. 

Broken glass, an empty unruly apartment. Signs that a big fight happened. All because of a tabloid article of him seeing his co-host late at night. Yuta argued that she needed someone to talk to and Y/N was angry that he winged their anniversary V-live just for this. “You can tell me if you’re sick of me, Yuta.” she claimed that made him hiss. “Don’t you think I didn’t notice? You’re always making up things just so you can’t meet me.” 

“That’s not true!” Yuta shouted. “I am busy.” 

Tears ran down her face. “Then explain how Jungwoo had lunch with me last Friday when you said that you’re practicing with your members.”    

“Stop saying that I don’t even make time for you.” His voice raised in frustration. “When all you do is hang out with that co-star of yours.” 

The girl scoffed. “So it’s my fault now? It’s work, Yuta.” It’s always the same reason. “I asked you a lot of times if you’re alright with the drama and you never mention anything. Now, you’re using it against me?” 

The guy shook his head. “Let’s talk about this tomorrow. I’m tired.”

“And I’m also tired.” She whispered. “Let’s end this, Yuta.” She threw the promise ring before leaving the apartment. 

The news next day was about Y/N erasing pictures of them in her social media accounts. The breakup news between the solo idol and the NCT member followed. Taeyong just shook his head watching Yuta exit the CEO’s office with droopy shoulders. “I really like her for you, hyung.” Mark claimed when he entered the practice room. 

He didn’t know where it went wrong. They were happy. Everyone likes their relationship. His fans are her fans, and hers are his. They were tagged as the greatest idol couple, often paired in dances since it’s both their strengths. Y/N was casted in a period drama and he’s a supportive boyfriend who visited her the first day of the filming and thanked everyone for taking care of his girlfriend. She filmed romantic scenes, kissing her actor co-star. And he was fine. “It’s work, Yuta.” She would always say. And he would just smile. 

He started hosting a radio show with a female Japanese idol and he was cold at her, wanting to stir away from controversy. But as her drama progressed, with more romantic scenes and more kissing, he felt left out. She’s becoming a star. And he’s becoming Y/N’s idol boyfriend. Slowly, he’s getting fed up with the relationship that’s slowly getting centered on her. 

It felt like a breath of fresh air that it all ended now. Like a thorn removed from his aching heart. 

All the public’s sympathy went to her, as he expected. She’s the star. The more famous one among the two of them. So he just painted himself as the bad guy by confirming that he’s dating his co-host which surprised the other girl. The agency was surprised at the decision but it became such a media frenzy that their radio show got high ratings every week. Even the sales of their album spiked up and he became known as NCT’s Yuta and not as someone’s idol boyfriend.

Everything is getting better. 

-----      

It was the end of the year award show when they crossed paths again. They were doing a great job avoiding each other. Why now? Nine members meant a vacant seat from the round table artists are seated at. The staff repeatedly apologized but as kind as she is, she just smiled and sat between Doyoung and Jaehyun, just across Yuta. She greeted all the members, even complimenting Haechan’s hair and Taeil’s suit. “Congratulations on best album.” she greeted, smiling widely to avoid the awkwardness. 

“Aren’t you releasing an album as well?” Johnny asked that made her nod. “Another dance track?” Taeyong asked but Y/N shook her head saying that it was a ballad album and that she will perform later. The guys were obviously surprised, ballad isn’t her best track. She’s more known for her dancing skills so it is indeed a huge surprise. 

When the best female idol awardee was called, the NCT members all stood up to congratulate her. Jungwoo even helped her with her pink lace gown. She did the usual thank you message: thanking her parents, the almighty being, the management, the staffs, and her fans. “And lastly…” Yuta gasped. Whenever she gets an award, she thanks him lastly for comforting and always supporting her. “Please watch out for my album.” He felt his heart drop, especially when she smiled that angelic smile. Why is she shaking him like this? 

Yuta was already bored. He just wants to go home. The lights dimmed and the emcees announced her as the next performer. Because it’s a live performance, they showed some clips of her photoshoot for her new album. He had to agree that this concept fits her. She looked prettier than when they used to go out.

He was more surprised to see an orchestra accompaniment behind her on stage. Her, seated on a platform, wearing a white sequined dress that shines like stars when the spotlight shone on her. The crowd clapped just as the start of the song played. (Imagine this as the performance.) 

The other members warily glanced at him. A break up song. Why isn’t he surprised? 

My dream changed - instead of a famous singer, I tried to become a good wife

He remembered how she would always try to learn to cook whenever she had extra time. She never mentioned anything to him. It was until one night, they were laying next to each other, when she asked him if he wanted her to continue being an idol. That made him curious that time. She loved performing. Why would she ask that? 

Now, he knew why. 

By the time the second chorus rolled in, he was just amazed at how she could sing those notes while seated down. Her singing really got better. 

Someday you’ll probably call me then I hope you will be a man and congratulate me

Because this is all thanks to you, I’ll prepare a good thank you message for you

He can hear Mark giggling beside him. Johnny pursed his lips as if preventing to laugh. “Hyung, please record her thank you message.” the youngest member teased that made him annoyed. 

Her voice echoed all throughout the venue. Her adlibs hitting notes that she cannot do before and she’s sitting while doing that. 

Slowly, I got over you like that

Their eyes met. Those sparkling eyes. She’s shining. She looks well. She looks better. Without him. 

The fresh air suffocated him, burning his lungs in the process. The thorn that was removed came back and brought friends, a knife tearing his heart into pieces. 

Everything is getting better. For her. Not for him.

The moment he went inside the empty apartment, he felt like breaking down. This is harder than the time she left. He missed her. He’s a wreck without her. A huge mess. Why is he taken over by his jealousy? She deserves to be the center of the relationship. The star. She deserves the whole world. Is it too late for him to get everything back now? He took his phone as a song on the radio played, “Mark, I need your help.” 

Another award show meant another chance to cross paths with her. To Y/N’s surprise, Yuta congratulated her with a wide smile after winning an award. The staffs were repeatedly asking if the members were sure of doing this that made the manager and the leader nod. Johnny was seated in front of the grand piano, Mark on one side with his guitar. Taeil, Doyoung, Jaehyun, and Yuta seated on different chairs in the middle of the stage. (Song)

Johnny started the melody while Mark played his guitar. Jaehyun started the song that made Y/N look at them from the artists’ place. Yuta smiled. Her favorite band. Taeil started singing the chorus with Yuta as back-up vocals. Doyoung sang the second verse while Jaehyun sang the chorus, followed by Taeil. By the end of the song, they lightly glance at Yuta. His last cry for her. 

So I drown it out like I always do

Dancing through our house with the ghost of you

And I chase it down, with the shot of truth

He glanced at her, staring straight to those sparkling eyes. 

That my feet don’t dance like they did with you

The lights dim but he saw her silhouette remain on her seat, shoulders visibly heaving. Behind the spotlight, Yuta finally realized that like a ghost, he cannot shake her off. She’ll keep haunting him because he cannot let go of her. Yuta finally realized that he is still in love with her. 

They had been busy with the concerts abroad and she had been busy with the promotion of her album. Yuta’s co-host quit the radio show and days later, it was announced that she was pregnant. The members were surprised at first but it was her who confirmed that Yuta isn’t the father of the child. The public sympathy went to Yuta for the alleged cheating that the girl had done, making him in the center of the media frenzy once again. 

It was a Japanese radio show when he met Y/N again. He had to promote the Japanese leg of their concert while she promoted her Japanese single. She looked casual greeting him, as if nothing happened but her words echoed in his ears “It’s just work, Yuta.” Maybe it was really nothing to her. 

They were seated next to each other. He watched her put on her headphones then rubbed her palms together. “I kinda forgot Japanese.” she claimed then said a Japanese phrase to introduce herself. “Is that right?” He nodded, his warm gaze still on hers. Too casual. “I’m nervous.” 

He wanted to hug her. Comfort her. Tell her that everything will be alright. That he’s next to her so she doesn’t have to worry about anything. 

But he can’t. She’s not his. 

The host kept on claiming that they looked good together that startled them both. When the staff told him something in Japanese, he kept on apologizing while saying that he doesn’t know that they used to date. She just smiled, shaking her head to avoid the awkwardness. She really did move on. The radio show went smoothly until the last part where they had to sing a duet together. Y/N was obviously surprised. Didn’t she know? “We can skip it if you don’t want to.” Yuta whispered. 

Once again she shook her head. “It’s fine. I just haven’t prepared for it.” she claimed while looking at the music sheet. “The notes are a little high.” 

“You’ll do great. Your singing got better.” She giggled at the reference and he smiled. He missed her laugh. 

Y/N focused on the lyrics, asking the translator to tell her what the words mean or how to pronounce it. Yuta was reading the lyrics, seated next to her when she laughed. “Yuta,” she called and he felt his heart jump from his chest. He missed her voice calling his name. “Should we switch parts?” He looked surprised, curious even. “I mean, the lyrics.” 

Yuta smiled. “Should we?” 

Y/N giggled. “Sometimes I am convinced they’re doing this on purpose.” He smiled while looking at her. He missed her. So much. 

The host was asking repeatedly if they want to continue this, apologizing if it ever makes them uncomfortable but she would just smile and shake her head. He thanked her for being professional and she grinned, making Yuta breathless. He missed her smile. 

They were introduced and she even made a fighting sign at him as the melody started. It was a lonely song and Yuta poured all his feelings on his part. (This is the song they used. Dude, can they just remaster it by asking Yuta to sing this?) 

Long time no see

His eyes turned to her. He missed everything about her. 

We cannot express how we feel

Breath echoes in our ears 

The radio show staff all turned to them in surprise. 

My dear, you’ve already found a new love

She turned to him with her sparkling eyes. 

There is no one like you

I am cheating my heart

He sang while staring at her. She even missed the first beat of her part then smiled while looking at the music sheet in front of them. The bridge of the song came and the staff looked in awe at both of them.  

But you are not mine anymore

They stared at each other while singing those words. By the end of the song, Y/N’s voice was breaking so she stepped farther from the mic immediately. A smile escaped her lips when the host asked if she’s alright, apologizing that she ruined the song. Everyone were giving them compliments, fans commenting on how amazing they deliver the song and wishing that they can do a collab in the future. 

“Y/N,” Yuta called on the hallways of the building. He breathed hard while she just nodded at her manager, asking her to go first. “I…” He started but the words cannot come out of his mouth. I’m sorry. My ego got the worst of me. My insecurity caused our fall. I’m a wreck without you. Please come back to me. 

“Let’s not talk about it, Yuta.” She said while shaking her head. “We were immature. We’re so used to each other that we took each other for granted.” She grinned once again, eyes sparkling. Upon closer look, he figured out why. Her tears were forming. Like little pearls in her eyes. “I’m sorry, Yuta.” The words he cannot tell her. “Let’s be happy, hmm?” 

Yuta smiled, taking the hand she held out. “Can I call you when I am feeling miserable?” 

The girl laughed. “My number didn’t change.” She claimed. “And I still have to give you my thank message.” 

He pulled her close, wrapping her in his arms. “I missed you, Y/N.” 

------

Fans were delighted seeing Y/N and Yuta seated next to each other in the V-live account. A thing they always do every year on their anniversary. She was smiling, her lovely smile, while waving at the camera. Yuta adjusted the camera to capture them both before smiling his angelic smile. 

“I didn’t know your V-live account still works even if it isn’t used for a year.” She claimed, leaning in to read some comments. “I also didn’t know that there are still fans who come in this V-live account.” The number of watching people raised up that startled even Yuta. 

They both introduced themselves in a lively manner before the NCT member explained that they did this V-live as a thank you to fans who trended the song they sang in Japan. “I didn’t know that it would blow up like this.” He claimed and she nodded, even laughing at how embarrassing it is that her voice broke in the end. 

They started reading some comments about how fans missed them together, that they look together, and that their playfulness as a couple came back. “Are you back together?” Yuta read, pointing at the comment. 

“We’re not together together,” Y/N started then emphasized the last word with air quote marks. “We’re just…” She lightly glanced at him who was looking at her, mirroring the same smile she had. “Just patching things up and fixing ourselves.” Yuta continued for her. 

“Is there a possibility of a come back?” 

Y/N giggled before pointing at Yuta. “NCT is coming back with a new album. I’m preparing for a fall comeback.” The guy laughed at that. “Yuta, do you want to be featured in my album?” 

He nodded immediately. “Will you write me a love song?” 

She grinned, shaking her head playfully. “I’m not gonna write you a love song~” she sang before laughing. Yuta chuckled, poking her side playfully. “But we’ll see.” 

The fan asked what they had been up to. Y/N shared that she’s writing songs for her album and Yuta saying that he hangs out with the members often and the preparations for their comeback. “I’ve been hanging out with Jaehyun a lot.” he claimed, “I’ve been liking his music choices lately.” 

“You’re already done with your rocker state?” She asked, feigning a shock. “What song have you been listening to lately?” 

Yuta smiled, taking his phone out of his pocket. He played the song and Y/N smiled that there’s still a rockish feel on it.  (Song)

Oh, all my emotions feel like explosions when you are around

Yuta mouthed the words, trying to look for comments but his gaze was on her while jamming on the song. A smile crept his lips and he saw how one fan pointed out that he’s so in love with her. He is. 

“This song is so nice.” 

“Honestly, it kinda reminds me of you.”

He’s singing ‘She’s a, She’s a lady And I am just a boy’

He’s singing ‘She’s a, She’s a lady’ And I am just a line without a hook’

Oh baby, I am a wreck when I’m without you I need you here to stay

She looked surprised when Yuta sang the lines of the songs. The side of his lips curled up when he saw the sparkle back in her eyes. They talked a bit about what fans should watch out from their respective schedules. They said goodbye in a lively manner before Yuta ended the V-live. 

Y/N leaned on the couch, breathing heavily. She lightly glanced at Yuta and he smiled. “Want to get some sushi?” She nodded, grinning widely. 

Yuta cannot shake her off. Like a ghost, she will keep haunting him. And hopefully, she can come back to him. 

[l-r-christian]

heyyy can u do a klaus mikaelson imagine where the reader comes out with the album ‘sour’ instead of olivia rodrigo and its based off of an ex not klaus and klaus throws a party and she sings the songs ‘deja vu’, ‘jealousy, jealousy’ and ‘brutal’ for a sneak peak of the album and it’s basically pure fluff

Ahhhhhh writing for my wolfie boy again ☺. I apologize if this is a little bad as I was trying to find a good way to write this and look up the artist as I haven't heard these songs before.

Pairing: Niklaus Mikaelson x F!Singer!Reader, Past!Damon Salvatore x F!Reader

Warnings: fluff, Damon being Damon

Music was Y/N's pride and joy, having done cover songs putting them up on a YouTube channel and she was every popular gaining a huge audience. She started to make her first album right around when she found out that Damon had been seeing Elena behind her back which hurt her deeply and since then she hadn't talked to her so call best friend. Y/N's fans had been angry at Damon saying how dare he hurt such a cinnamon bun and saying how Elena was a terrible best friend.

"Love, I have something to ask of you."

"What is it Nik?" Y/N asked looking up from lyrics she was working on for her album. Klaus sat next to her.

"I am throwing a party and was hoping you could sing for my guests?" Klaus asked her as she stopped looking at him. Y/N knew that most likely Damon would be there along with the rest of her friend group.

"I'll love to Nik."

Y/N was a bit nervous and had asked Kol to record her for her channel as the songs she picked was sneak peaks of what she was working on. Y/N was announced to go on stage and heard the clapping seeing every that was going to prom had came to the party.

"How is everyone tonight?" Y/N greeted getting cheers as Damon stared at her and Klaus found Y/N just gorgeous as she wore the dress he got her.

"I here to sing for you all. Three sneak peeks at some songs I wrote." Y/N said getting loud cheers making her smile.

"The first is called 'Déjà Vu' so enjoy." Y/N said beginning to play people began to move to the music.

"Car rides to Malibu, strawberry ice cream. One spoon for two and trading jackets. Laughing 'bout how small it looks on you." Y/N sang as she played her guitar.

"Watching reruns of Glee, being annoying singing in harmony. I bet she's bragging to all her friends, saying you're so unique, him. So when you gonna tell her? That we did that too? She thinks it's special. But it's all reused that was our place, I found it first. I made the jokes you tell her when she's with you. Do you get déjà vu? Ah, hmm." Y/N sang and got cheers while Elena looked to Damon wondering if it was true.

"Alright everyone I'm sure alot of can relate to the next one here's 'Brutal'." Y/N said with a grin feeling more comfortable on stage.

"I want it to be,like, messy. I'm so insecure, I think that I'll die before I drink. And I'm so caught up in the news of who likes me and who hates me." Y/N sang as Klaus frown hating the idea that Y/N felt that way.

"And I'm so tired that I might quit my job, start a new life and they'd all be so disappointed. 'Cause who am I, if not exploited? And I'm so sick of 17. If someone tells me one more time "Enjoy your youth." I'm gonna cry."

"And I wish I'd done this before. And I wish people liked me more. All I did was try my best, this the kind of thanks I get? Unrelentlessly upset. They say these are the golden years but I wish I could disappear. Ego crush is so severe.... God, it's brutal out here." Y/N sang as she looked out at the dancing crowd then saw how Klaus watched her. The crowd cheered as the song ended and Y/N was now in her element as Damon frowned wishing he knew this about his ex.

"Here is for those girls who felt like me. This next one is called 'Jealousy Jealousy.'"

"I kinda wanna throw my phone across the room. 'Cause all I see are girls too good to be true. With paper-white teeth and prefect bodies....Wish I didn't care. I know that beauty is not my lack."

"But it feels like that weight is on my back. And I can't let it go. Co-comparison is killin' me slowly. I think, I think too much 'bout kids who don't know me. I'm so sick of myself. I'd rather be, rather be anyone anyone else. But jealousy, jealousy. Started followin' me. Started followin' me." Y/N finished as everyone cheered loudly and clapping as she waved leaving the stage as the band took over.

"Y/N." Damon said as the singer turned seeing her ex the first time in months as she had buried herself in her music.

"Salvatore." Y/N said not caring about the hurt that flashed in his eyes as in her mind Damon had no right to be hurt.

"We should talk."

"Sorry but I'm busy."

"With what?" Damon questioned stepping forward as in a blur Klaus was next to Y/N with an arm around her waist.

"Joining me for a drink." Klaus said leaving Damon no more to talk as he lead the young woman away.

"You didn't have to do that."

"But I did love." Klaus tells her as she found herself in his studio and she stepped away looking at his paintings. Y/N stopped at one of her making her blink as he step next to her.

"You shouldn't feel l like you aren't good enough Y/N. "

"And why would you say that?" Y/N asked smiling looking at him as Klaus looked at her cupping her cheek. Y/N had a suspicion that Klaus had a thing for her since he would bend over backwards for her.

"Because I'm in love with you. You are the most amazing woman I have ever met." Klaus tells her making Y/N's heart skip a beat as he leaned closer.

"I am in love with you too. As I can't believe I fell for my best friend." Y/N said softly cupping his face as Klaus crashed his lips against hers. Y/N kissed back pressing closer to Klaus making him growl while in a blur she found her self in Klaus's bed. Y/N giggled leaning back against Klaus's bare chest as she showed him how to play the guitar. Y/N was glad she said yes to singing for Klaus's party as she would have never gotten her happily ever after with someone who really loved her.

[ks-dreams-fantasies]

Hi can I request like a vinnie x reader like the reader wrote deja vu by olivia rodrigo (let’s pretend the reader wrote it and released it) and when the music video got posted on yt yall watch it together with the hype house members and when it finish your crying (tears of joy) and vinnie is proud of her and the other hype house congratulated the reader and thomas and alex filming everyone’s reactions and later thats night the reader and the other hypehouse member are hanging out in the living room and vinnie is all cuddled up to the reader and mia ask who’s the song abt and the reader said its abt vinnie and she explained it that she wrote the song when they broke up and vinnie got with another girl and everyone is shock.. you ucan continue it and do whatever you want in the end thank youu<33

Déjà Vu - Vinnie Hacker

Sooooo, I feel like this wasn't my best piece but I hope you still like it. I love Olivia Rodrigo 👀 I just can’t imagine Vinnie breaking someone’s hearts tbh, he looks way to sweet 

Warning : None

Word Count : 1.2k

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Today was an important day for you and your career. Your debut single Déjà vu was coming out and you couldn’t stop yourself from being excited but nervous at the same time. Having been doing covers of your favorite songs on social media for the last 2 years, fans wouldn’t stop asking you when your own music would come out. Today was the day they would hear your ideas for the first time in what seems like forever. You had posted little bits of some compositions you had made but never did you post a clip over 15 seconds long, let alone a full song.

You had been recording a lot in the past few weeks and when you presented the lyrics to Déjà vu to the producers, they fell in love with it. In all honesty you didn’t think it would be one of their favorites since it was sad and angry. You had written these lyrics a while back when you and your now boyfriend were apart. You and Vinnie had been good friends since the moment you had met. Being two growing TikToker, you found yourself hanging in the same places with the same group of friends.

Your relationship was complicated to say the least, you both knew you had feelings for each other, but he wasn’t ready to be in a relationship at the time and you were afraid to get into one as well. It didn’t stop the both of you of doing everything together, you were inseparable. From sharing one spoon to eat your favorite strawberry ice cream, to sharing clothes, you did everything a couple would do. All went crashing down the day you went on a trip with your best friends, a bunch of pictures of Vinnie and a blonde girl holding hand and sharing ice cream, laughing, came flooding the internet. You couldn’t believe what you were seeing, the guy you liked, the guy you thought liked you too was with another women having the time of his life not even giving the time of day.

A few days after you came back from your trip, Vinnie had texted you, but you had decided to ignore him, staying in your room writing down into your notebook. That’s how the lyrics for your new song were created.

After that, things got awkward between the two of you, both of you having the same friend group, hanging out wasn’t easy. He would often bring his new friend with him and the situation made you uncomfortable and sad. They would share moments together, moment you first had with Vinnie, moments you thought belong to the two of you. The girl even posted pictures of places Vinnie would bring her to, places you showed him first.

A few months past and the two of them broke up, leaving the majority of your friends and yourself happy. Soon enough, Thomas invited you to move into the Hype House and you did. You and Vinnie got back to talking frequently and he one day asked you to lunch which you agreed to. You decided to give him a second chance and soon enough he asked you to be his girlfriend. Everyone had been talking about your relationship, approving of your love. The fans were mostly happy, some of them were mad that Vinnie found a new girlfriend, but for the most part, everyone was supportive.

Four weeks later, here you were, all sitting in the backyard waiting for the show to start. Your roommates had decided to surprise you with a nice diner, and they had set up an outdoor projection screen for the release of your debut single. Vinnie had his arms wrapped around you as the both of you sat down on a huge bean bag next to the others. You were all laughing and talking when the voice of the presenter got your attention.

“She’s been getting more and more popular over the past two years and fans had been waiting for her to drop her own music. From singing covers of her favorite songs on the internet to now coming out with her own song, this artist is destinate to a great career. We had the pleasure of getting the exclusivity of her debut single and videoclip, here is Déjà vu by (Y/F/N)”

The screen changed quickly, your face appearing as you licked some ice cream in a convertible. You had told Vinnie about the song a few weeks prior since it was about him. You could feel his arm tightened around you as he kissed your temple

“I’m so proud of you baby” he whispered so only you could hear. You smiled feeling the tears well up in your eyes, realizing how far you’ve come. It wasn’t always easy, but you were doing what you loved with the people who you cherished most. Once the videoclip ended, everyone was clapping making you laugh slightly as tears poured out your eyes.

“OMG! This song is so good (Y/N)” Kouvr said smiling widely as you turned towards her, seeing Alex filming.

“It is, and the video is great” Thomas continued

“Thank you, guys! You’re too kind, you’ve been supporting me from the beginning, and I couldn’t thank you enough for that” you said wiping your tears, looking at them.

“I could never do what you do, you’re so creative, where do you get all your inspiration from? Like for this song, I didn’t know you had all these emotions built up” Mia said, questioning you. You felt yourself tense up as Vinnie rubbed your arms softly.

“It was from an old relationship, all is good now” you shrugged, trying to avoid the question

“Well, this guy seems like he made a big mistake, who would do this to you?” Michael said trying to light up the mood

“Actually, it was me” Vinnie spoke as everyone looked at him with big eyes, including you.

“I’m sorry. What?” Kouvr was the first one to speak

“I was a dick to her two years ago, and I know I broke her hearth. I still regret it to this day and I’m sorry about everything” Vinnie stated now looking at you deeply

“I decided to forgive you and give you another chance and look where that has gotten us. I was scared at first, because of what had happened, but you proved me wrong. You showed me that you’ve changed and that you weren’t that guy anymore. You make me feel so special and I feel so lucky to have you”

“I love you baby, and I’m so proud of you” he said before kissing you tenderly, his tongue finding your bottom lip, making you smile slightly against his mouth

“Okay guys, get a room” Alex said, pushing Vinnie slightly

“We’ll gladly do that” he stood up, offering you his hand to help you do the same

“Stop” you said swatting his chest softly, laughing “Thank you guys so much for this perfect evening, I couldn’t wish for better friends”

“We love you (Y/N)” Mia said bringing you into a tight hug “And you” she said pointing at your boyfriend “If you break her hearth, I’ll have to kill you”

“Don’t worry, I won’t make this mistake a second time”

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thanks for reading

Hope you liked it, let me know what you think

-K

[theglitterypages]

Hi! I’m a new follower so i’m not quite sure if you accept requests now but if u do! i have this request that i think would be really nice!

I just read ur one shot called “behind the scenes” and i literally fell in love with it! I was thinking if you could do a sequel or part two where levi and reader talk about what he said in the interview and come to terms with their feelings for each other and then he says that they will take it slow and court reader properly.

After that, they would have like cute moments together like, she goes live on ig or such and he join and then flirts with her through the comment section 😆🥰 they have like small dates. And then when they film again for the next season, the other actors will ask what’s the deal with the both of them and Levi says he’s courting reader ><

Just a thought hehe i hope you have a great day!

Title: Behind The Scenes Part Two

Pairings: Levi x fem! Reader

Warnings: None

Word Count: 3000

A/N: Hello darling, I'm so sorry it took me so long to respond, I've been a little busy in cleaning our house these days and I'm trying to spend less time using gadgets that's why I rarely find time to write. Anyways, I hope you'll like this one. This is not proofread so Expect many errors, I will edit this in no time. Thanks for requesting dearie💗💗💗

Read Part 1 Here

°°°°°

“Let's see each other next season! Good luck on your upcoming projects especially you Miss Marvel!” Zeke walked towards you and hugged you tight.

The whole cast just finished eating dinner, it was a dinner filled of laughter, the whole cast talked about the days on set, the silly things and other stuffs. Throughout the years of filming attack on titan, every one became each other's best friends and every time the filming are finished it's kinda sad because it will take time before you guys start filming together again.

“Goodnight everyone!”

Levi guided you towards the parking lot, his car was parked beside Eren who's now opening the door for Mikasa. “Drive straight my sister home, it's late.” Eren nodded and saluted to Levi before he climbed up the car and drove off.

Levi, on the other hand also opened the door of the car for you before he entered the car himself.

••••

“Thanks for driving me home, Lev. Do you want go inside for some tea?”

“It's fine, I don't wanna keep you up. We barely had enough time to sleep these days because of the promotions and stuffs.” Despite of saying that Levi is still standing in front of you, his eyes are full of hesitation and he kept opening his mouth just to pursed his lips together again as if holding himself back.

You are holding yourself back as well, you wanted to talk about what he said on the interview, you wanted to make things clear but you're too scared to do so.

Levi is a man who's hard to read, you wouldn't know if what he's saying is for the sake of fun or it is because he meant it.

Maybe he said that because you two are good friends, right, that's the only logical reason that popped into your mind.

You smiled fakely, trying to hide your disappointment to the fact that he's not gonna say anything, you get ready to turn your back on him to go inside your house but Levi suddenly held your hand, causing you to look back at him with wide eyes, “W-What is it?” you stammered.

“I mean it.”

“You mean what?”

Your heart is beating so fast, you're suddenly wondering it is because of Levi or it is because you have a heart problem.

Levi sighed and squeezed your hand gently as he looked into your eyes, he prepared himself a lot of times already but why is he getting afraid all the time?

He wanted to say it, say that this is more than just a friendship, that this is more than a job, that what he's doing is not a publicity stunt but he's tongue-tied. His mind went blank the moment he met your gaze, everything that he practiced before all of this has gone into the abyss.

But if he won't take a step forward, he'll always be at the same place and he wouldn't want that.

“I like you—no scratch that, I'm in love with you.”

“We had no liquor earlier so you can't be drunk. I have no times for jokes right now Lev.” you wanted to say that you like him too but what if this is just a joke? Can you afford to lose the friendship you to has?

Levi took a deep breath before he slowly nipped your chin and leaned down, his lips almost touching yours. “I know this is ridiculous but I..fell in love with you. At first I thought it was just because I'm portraying a man who's possibly in love with your character but as time passes by, I realized I'm not portraying Levi's feelings anymore.” he closed his eyes and gulped hard, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down as he do so.

“On Erwin's last day on shoot, I've realized that my remaining time with you are short and I realized that I'm not ready to let all of this end just like that.”

Flashback

“Okay so Levi you'll be choosing between Armin and Erwin, you know what to do just show us that you're heartbroken without obviously doing it and then once Samantha and Hanji came in look at Samantha with a face of relief, because in this scene Levi is glad to see her alive.” Levi nodded to the director, the make up artists put more fake bloods all over his face and when he sat nearby Erwin, the latter opened his eyes.

“Come on, man. Loosen up, the camera's not yet rolling.” Erwin smiled, Levi is a passionate actor and he gives his best in his craft, this series for example, Levi doesn't have any stunt doubles, he learned martial arts for the role and he did great portraying Levi Ackerman.

“Lights, Camera, Action!”

The scene went well and everyone cheered since this is the last day of filming for Erwin's character, Armin immediately hugged his older co-actor, Jean and Connie did the same while Mikasa and Sasha are clapping and smiling at the production team.

You and Levi are standing side by side behind Erwin, “This is sad.” you commented while Levi sighed beside you, “Imagine what my old guy feels.” Levi told you referring to his character in the series, you shrugged your shoulders and walked towards Erwin to hug him.

“You're the best, Commander Erwin.” you smiled and did the salute in the series before chuckling, “Shinzou wo Sasageyo!” you told him and the other actors heard you, everyone started doing the salute and shouted, “Shinzou wo Sasageyo!” Erwin looked around and smiled at everyone.

“Oh come on! It's not like I'm real dead, it's just my character.”

That wraps up the filming that day, while everyone was busy taking pictures with Erwin because this is his last day, Levi remained watching the whole cast from afar.

His eyes landed on you as you cry hugging Erwin, telling him that you'll miss working with him.

That was when Levi had come to realize that once this series is finished, he will never be ready to share the last moment on and off screen with you.

He's been working in this industry for a long time, not all friendships formed in work could last after a project is done, that was one of the reason why he's doing his best not to get attached especially in leading ladies but right now, for working so long with these whole cast it is inevitable to be attached to someone so similar to him yet different in other ways.

A small smile made its way across his lips as he see you laugh with the casts as you stood beside his sister.

One thing has come to his mind at that moment, he will never be ready to let you go.

End of Flashback

“I don't want to pressure you or anything. We can take it slow, I'm ready to court you properly, I haven't done any of that before but I'll do everything...let's just give it a try.”

All you could do was stare at him, blinking slowly as you tried processing everything he said, it was surprising to see him tremble like this, you can feel how cold his hands are and how his eyes are glassy because of the tears forming at the corner of his eyes.

“Well...I like you too but we'll take things slow, right? I don't want any of us to be hurt.”

“I understand—wait, what? You like me too?”

“Should I take that back?”

“No!”

You yelped with surprise when he hugged you tightly, his arms wrapped around you as he whisper sweet nothings on your ear.

“Levi it's too tight.” you giggled and he immediately pulled away, his cheeks are red so are his ears, he's cute with that blush but the way he smiled at you makes you feel like you've won the lottery, who knew you could see the Levi Cold Ackerman smile like this?

“I promise, I'll do my best.” he told you before pressing his lips on your forehead.

••••••

“Miss Y/N? Ahm the show asked if you could go live on Instagram to entertain the fans and inform them that you'll be in the Night Show.” you smiled at the staff and took the tablet in her hands since you'll be using the show's account to go live.

You started the live while your hairstylist is still fixing your hair, “As you guys can see my beloved hairstylist is not yet done fixing my hair, I will be at the Night Show! Oh my gosh I don't know what to say next, I'm just gonna read the comments.” your hairstylist laughed at your silliness and took a glance on the screen before turning her attention back to your hair.

“Okay, @ynsupremacy says she's been waiting for me to appear on the show. Oh thank you very much dearie! I've always wanted to be here too thanks for your support.”

“Oh my gosh take it easy babes, I can't read everything in just one go.”

You scrolled through the comments and sees a familiar username, “Someone deadass spammed the comment section you guys, Levi you little bastard stop spamming. Let my babies talk to me.” you narrowed your eyes at the screen before reading Levi's comment.

“I can't believe Angels go live on Instagram, says @captainlev.”

You looked back at your hairstylist after hearing her read Levi's comment, you blushed and she laughed at your reaction before shaking her head. “What? I was just reading. Nice on Captain Lev!” she smirked at the camera before looking back at you.

“I'll be back in a minute.” she said before walking out of the room.

You could still see Levi's comments but you did your best to ignore it so you could talk to your fans. “Hello @erenlegalwife happy birthday! I'm gonna tell Eren that it's his legal wife's birthday.” you chuckled. It's amusing to see their usernames, the comments are also hilarious but there are some bashers in the comments. You didn't mind them and just proceeded in interacting with your fans.

Another comment was shown but before you could even read it someone covered your eyes and you squealed, you removed their hands off your eyes and when you looked back you gasped in surprise.

“You kept on ignoring my comments, meanie.” Levi smirked as he opened his arms, asking for a hug and when you're too slow to hug him he's the one to walk towards you and hug you tight as he laughed loudly. “I scared you big time didn't I?” he teased.

You hit his back and pullled away from the hug. “God, I hate you.” it's been two months since you two confessed to each other, just like what he said, you two are taking it slow.

You guys are going out on dates from time to time yet there's no official relationship status, you didn't need the label actually, you're sure Levi wouldn't break your heart or anything, you just want to enjoy every time that you're with him.

“Okay, Levi will be joining us too but believe me I have no idea that he's a guest as well.” you told the fans as they ask you in the comment section.

“Figured I gotta surprise you, it's much better this way right?”

“You told me you're filming for that movie, big liar.”

Levi laughed and pinched your cheeks gently, “Sorry, I just want to surprise you.” he smiled sweetly and you looked away, blushing. “Pft. Never mind...” you bit your lower lip and scrolled through the comments but Levi already read something out loud.

“Ooh... @levisamlover says ‘you two look good together, just date already’ thank you for that. I also think that we look really good with each other, thanks for supporting my claim.” he smirked.

••••

“Are you sure you're fine with us just having a date at home? Well you probavly don't wanna let the press see us.” Levi asked as he wrapped jis arms around your shoulder, pulling you close to him as you two watch a movie.

“Hmm, nah the press has been seeing us two a lot but I don't care, I just want to stay close with you like this.” you told him, hugging him sideways, Levi chuckled and kissed the top of your head before feeding you some popcorn.

In the middle of the movie, Levi looked down on you just to see you asleep with a pout on your lips. He chuckled to himself and he slowly scoop you up being careful not to wake you up. He carried you towards your bedroom and he lay you down on the bed gently.

He smiled at your sleeping form before kissing your forehead. “I love you, do you know that? The day's ending yet I'm still 'ere falling in love with you again and again, deeper and deeper at every moment that passes by.” he took his phone from his pocket and took a picture of you, it became his new hobby, he's not the type to love taking pictures before but now that he has you, he wants to capture every moment.

He wants every moment to be saved, so he can go back to it every time that he misses you.

••••

“Nice job YN! Another action stunt beautifully done!”

You let out a sigh of relief when you're done filming your part, you guys are filming Eren's fight with the War Hammer Titan, along with the Survey corps fighting scene.

When you've finally done your part you immediately sat on the floor, feeling drained because of the insane stunts you had to do.

Levi was quick to hand you a bottled of water, he also naturally took his handkerchief out of his pocket to wipe your sweats, technically it is your PA's job but Levi was way faster than them.

Zeke and Reiner who just got finished their parts too, laughed at the scene because your PA was standing awkwardly as she watch Levi steal her job. “Man, I can't be the only one feeling that something changed with this two.” Zeke smirked nudging Reiner's sides, the latter hummed to agree before flicking his eyes on you and Levi.

“He's not even using his trailer anymore. He's with her all the time, Levi is acting sus.”

“Not to mention the fact that they kept on stealing glances all the time.” Hanji appeared behind the two holding her phone in her hand as she captures a photo of you and Levi laughing together. “Once we caught 'em in the act they'll spill the beans, believe me.” Armin who just finished filming also appeared holding his bottled water.

“I have a plan.” Hanji smirked deviously.

•••

“What, you're telling me to flirt with YN? Mikasa, I don't want to get killed by your brother.” Eren complained when he found out that the plan that they were thinking was getting Levi jealous so he would spill the tea.

Mikasa glared at Eren and smacked the back of his head. “Just do it, we'll be here to do something once he attempt to kill you.” Eren stared at her unbelievably before looking at his older brother. “Why don't you tell Armin to do it?” Zeke pushed his glasses up his nose before shaking his head. “Nah, Armin is like her son, Levi won't get jealous but you, a fuckboy would appear as a threat.” Zeke explained and everyone agreed.

“Man you're the one who flirts like a Seahorse.” Armin told him.

Eren narrowed his eyes, unable to understand Armin's sentence. “What do you mean by that smart-ass?” he growled.

“Seahorses flirts a lot, you're just like them.”

“I hate you all.”

Zeke got impatient of his brother's drama and he immediately pushed him towards your direction, the poor man almost landes face flat on the floor if you weren't able to grab his arm.

“Eren!” you gasped and helped him up, when Eren got up his face is pale, he smiled awkwardly and looked back at his brother to send a glare on his way before looking back at you. “You look beautiful today, YN.” he complimented.

You were taken aback by the sudden compliment so you just smiled before tapping his back, “Thanks, you look handsome today too, nice stunts by the way.” Eren looked around and he sees no traces of Levi so he loosened up a bit.

“I was just wondering if you'd like to have some coffee, there's this new coffee shop nearby and I've heard they have nice coffee.”

“Oh yes su—”

“She doesn't like coffee.”

Eren wanted to run when he heard Levi spoke behind him but he had no choice but to look at him, “Hey Lev! What's up?” Levi raised his brow to Eren, he didn't respond to him and went to your side as he glares at Eren.

“Play nice.”

“What am I? Your dog?” he whispered and you glared at him. “I'm just saying that you should act nice.” Levi crossed his arms over his chest and let out a deep breath. “I am nice.” you shook your head and massaged the bridge of your nose, there's no point in calming a jealous Levi.

“Ohohoho! I see what's happening here! Seems like sugar plum and captain grumpy is hiding somethin' eh? Spill it. What's with the possesiveness and lovey-dovey moments?”

Levi's eyes widened for a secons before he looked away, his ears and cheeks are red. Zeke's teasing smirk tells him that the man already know something, Hanji, Mikasa and Armin's stares are also meaningful, it seems like they're pressuring him to give an answer.

Levi clicked his tongue and acted cool as he looked at his co-actors and sister.

“I'm courting her, got any problem with that? Flirt with her again and you're done, Yeager.” he held your hand and dragged you away from the group while Zeke and Eren's laughter boomed at the whole set.

“YEAGERS! QUIET!”

[yourfavouritetragedy]

I was adding onto the DSMP Actor AU post, but it turned into Wilbur musician AU, haha rip me, and I only know SBI anyways so here’s a separate post. (It goes back to actor AU at the end.) It’s hypothetically still in the same universe though, and obviously inspired by it. If anything’s phrased weirdly, it’s cuz this was originally an addition to that. 

tbh I kinda adhered to their IRL careers too much compared to the OP but whatever it’s fine. 

Also frick the “Dream SMP” for not having a better title lmaooo

Wilbur is an indie artist really on the come up

Your City Gave Me Asthma was pretty good for a first release, popular with both new fans and fans of his acting.

He had starred in a short mystery/thriller-ish series that started off disguised as a normal sitcom: Chilly in Lincolnshire {Editor Wilbur ARG}

It had a prominent release because of Jack Massey’s involvement and previous fame, but production was abruptly scrapped before it tied everything up with a bow on top, so to speak. It’s still unclear if this was actually planned in order to tell the story the way they way wanted. 

Even before that, critics had mixed reviews, either applauding the storytelling and acting or calling it “irrationally confusing, an amateurish attempt to box unconventional storytelling into a conventional medium.”

Also SootHouse was a sitcom that achieved a cult following during the two seasons it ran before cancellation. Either you’re a fan or you’re never heard of it, and people constantly forget Wilbur was in it. 

(He was a few other old shows on his resume too. Wilbur always focuses on the newest project, so everyone always forgets about what he was in before.) 

Maybe I Was Boring EP was initially just bonus tracks on his website, but his fans liked it so much he gave it a wider release

In between, he had a few comedy songs go viral on youtube. Everybody was so confused when they realized it was the same Wilbur as musician/actor Wilbur. He laughed about it in an interview, saying “How many Wilburs do you know?” 

That’s when it came out that “Wilbur Soot” was actually a stage name. (”Ha, fair, only one.” “Make that zero-- my name’s not really Wilbur.”)

He kinda disappeared after that?? Didn’t do anything, really inactive on social media. It was semi-confirmed that he was both working on his mental health and prepping some stuff (music, auditions).

But anyways he just released a series of singles, combined into Digital Love {E-girl trilogy}-- he’s transformed his image yet again, but this time he does take ownership of all his past ventures.

The release of Digital Love bridges the end of SMP Earth and the beginning Dream SMP. 

But before that there was MCC and the other stuff.

They are shows where celebrities team up do stuff-- you know the type 

but Minecraft Monday is still inexplicably Minecraft Monday. Some Youtuber just managed to get all these up and coming celebrities to play a Minecraft tournament. 

And that’s where the Sleepy Bois (minus Tommy) met IRL so that’s where they meet here. 

SMP Earth, like Minecraft Manhunts, is also a former show they were on. I’m going to call it World Domination. Don’t @ me; I know that’s trash lol. 

They and the Dream Team met up because of their shared fanbases and were even talking a crossover, but it didn’t really work that well for the stories so they scrapped it

They make a non-canon cross over episode anyways {no IRL equivalent, I think}

Everybody loves the cons. Everytime there’s a con, five friendships are made and eight ideas are created. 

Techno backstory time

He’s done a lot of long running, though not exactly popular, serials and sitcoms: Blitz, Survival Games, and Sky Wars. 

Winstreak: 1000 {Bed Wars 1000 winstreak} was so popular they made a second season, but it never got as big as the first. He worked nearly exclusively with Hypixel Studios. 

He was doing lots of random content for their new Sky World universe {Skyblock} -- the small studio was big on experimentation -- , when a fictional documentary, The Great Potato War, went proper viral. 

They made two sequels WHILE he was doing those celebrity team challenge shows and then World Domination, and they were actually good sequels.

Got a reputation for being shallow and a sell-out, but he makes a joke of it so much he gets away with it and constantly self-promos.

Also a kinda scary to work with for the first time because of how single-minded he can get, but once you realize how socially awkward he is it’s okay.  

Now that’s he’s in a lot of stuff with worldbuilding, he practically has the wikis memorized. 

Tommy mainly did limited series and movies before World Domination, where he met the SBI.

He’d had been a fan of Wilbur for a while, and was super star-struck at first, but got over it really quickly in his Tommy style

He still is a total fanboy at concerts and whenever a new music video drops. “I’m friends with the guy! I know him, Wilbur Soot!” “Tommy, you’re famous too.” “Yeah, cuz I’m practically in the video!” “No--” 

Wilbur takes Tommy to one of his concerts and he’s so hyped the entire time, especially to go behind the scenes and on the stage. 

Sometimes he gets stressed about the pressure of being a child star, but Techno, Philza, and Wilbur promise to stand by him and they make him feel protected 

One time Wilbur’s drunk and almost hands Tommy a drink before swearing and going, “You’re a bloody child! You can’t have that! God, what would Philza think?” Tommy’s not sure whether to be relieved or disappointed. 

Philza laughs at the story and actually lets Tommy try a little in a more controlled, responsible situation. Tommy texts his mum first, and then hates the drink anyways. (”This is rubbish! I am a man, but I’m not drinking this!” Techno: “Alcohol is disappointing. I drink orphan’s tears instead.” “Techno WHAT--”)

Philza had been the star of a zombie apocalypse show: Golden Core 

He did canonically die to a child zombie in the movie version. Yes, they made a movie version of the TV show, because the Golden Core franchise actually has had many other shows {other hardcore series}. 

Everybody tries to get the child zombie props near him because of that (they’re puppets)

He’s done a lot of other things, like in the original actor AU post, but none of them came close in popularity. 

He gives the rest of the SBI the knowledge he’s gained from being in the biz for so long. 

There’s also a running joke about SBI meaning “Spy Boys Incorporated” and them starring in a comedy spy movie

The fans would very much actually like this to happen. There’s so many fanons for it (maybe I’ll write one....) 

Back to the DSMP. Maybe I’ll call it Dreamland or smth. 

Wilbur constantly asks Tommy if he’s okay after any difficult scenes

Especially when they were hanging out together a lot in the exile arc.

All the brother scenes were cut because Wilbur kept breaking down and crying in them.

Sometimes people actually ask Techno and Tommy if they’re actually brothers. Tommy tries to go along with it half the time on the basis of “it’s be funny,” so there’s a subset of casual fans that genuinely don’t know. 

After Alivebur was killed off, Wilbur was going to leave the show to concentrate on his music

But he missed the SMP and hanging so much that he just showed up on set one day saying “I’m a ghost now,” and everyone just rolled with it

Alivebur was so popular that, seeing that Wilbur was willing, they decided to bring him back for Season 3. He’s been avoiding doing heavy scenes, but he still seems really invested and like he wants to come back to the show.

Wilbur talks with Techno about writing and lore a lot

it’s one the few times Wilbur actually seems like the older one

Wilbur attempted to get a D&D group going in the cast, but the show was already close enough, with the amount of improvisation they can get by with

Tommy’s Pigstep cover happened, but the background was Philza clapping barely in time with just Wilbur on bass instead (and of course Techno’s “BAHP”s)

It was a charity stream. They had put on their costumes (clothes only) for a previous goal. 

This one was simply called “We rap.”

Some people were almost disappointed that Tommy was the only one actually rapping, but he was so funny it made up for it. 

Okay I spent the whole morning on this and it got way too long but I think I’m finally out of ideas. sorry haha hope you enjoyed! ^_^

[stillebesat]

Meeting Virgil (5x1) -Third Time

Sanders Shorts: Remy Sanders Sides: Virgil Blurb: A Special Delivery Prequel. -Five times Remy tried to give Virgil a child and the one time he succeeded. Inspiration: @book-of-charlie​ asked: What did Virgil mean by “the last 5 times?” Fic Type: STORK!AU, Winged!Remy Chapter Warnings: Implied Neglectful Parents, Implied Miscarriage Taglist in Reblog. To Catch Up: First Time Second Time

Little Lacey was going to change the world. Remy knew it from the moment the baby girl’s eyes had lit up upon seeing him and his wings. From the second she had opened her mouth and let out the most contagious laugh he’d ever heard.

Even now, as he wound his way through the golf course parking lot crowded with stalls and people waiting for the fireworks to start on the hill above them, Lacey drew smiles from everyone standing nearby with that contagious bubbling laughter as she bounced in his arms.

He’d been tempted to put her to sleep when the twin lines of green and purple he’d been following led straight into this noisy place with music blaring, kids screaming, and the smell of popcorn and cotton candy thick in the air. First impressions with new parents hardly went well if the baby was screaming their head off after all, yet Lacey apparently loved the chaos surrounding them. She’d perked right up, her giggles ringing in his ear before he’d even landed.

There was no doubt. Despite her previous parents’ best attempts to treat her like a forgotten dusty doll in a china cabinet, Lacey thrived in having everyone’s attention focused on her. For being in the limelight. Yes. Remy knew she would change the world once she was older if the way everyone cooed -from the lady waiting in line with her son to get their face painted to the burly motorcycle dude that looked like he could tear your head off with his pinky- at her was any indication.

It was attention that Remy wasn’t exactly used to dealing with himself anymore. Usually his S.T.O.R.K. duties took him to places that were...quieter...more…secluded environments. One on Two situations where he could meet the new parents away from watching eyes, give them their new bundle of joy and then take off soon after their bond was established.

“Oh, isn’t she precious!” A grandmother cooed at Lacey, her hands twitching with the obvious old person urge to pinch the baby’s cheeks as she gave Remy a warm smile. “You’re one lucky fella having such a beautiful daughter!”

His stomach did a little uncomfortable flip flop at that. It wasn’t the first time he’d been mistaken as a parent, but it always threw him off when people assumed he was capable of such a feat when growing up it had felt like everyone expected him to die before he reached twenty.

According to Larry and Dot, however, despite the years he’d spent ferrying babies around -and getting them to their parents without issue...well, major issues-- he was still quite ‘rough around the edges.’

Ha.

He’d like to see them say that when faced with the burly motorcycle dude two stalls over. He couldn’t be that rough acting anymore.

Probably.

Maybe.

Eh.

Remy shook his head, wings twitching against his back as he grinned at the woman, glad his metallic green eyes were hidden behind his sunglasses. “She’s adorable alright, but I’m just watching her for a friend while they grab a bite to eat.” He tilted his head to the twin lines that led towards the other side of the food stalls beyond the lady as Lacey giggled in his ear, nuzzling her head into his shoulder.

The words flowed easily enough off his tongue, despite the bitter taste they left. Lying wasn’t really a thing with S.T.O.R.K.s hence his...technical truth. He was watching Lacey, though friend might be a bit strong of a word when he’d never met the parents before. But he was planning to grab some of those delectable chicken strips he could smell afterwards. So yah...basically the truth.

He was good at that.

Larry and Dot would visibly roll their eyes but quietly smile their approval at his ability to find and exploit loopholes.

The grandmother’s eyes grew softer as Lacey wiggled, reaching fingers grabbing onto the feathers her little hands could reach. “How sweet.” She murmured, placing a hand over her heart.

Did she mean Lacey or the fact Remy was ‘watching’ her? He sighed internally, keeping the smile in place with effort. He’d never been the greatest at interacting with old people who would ‘dear me’ and ‘oh my’ him to death if he accidentally slipped and swore in front of them.

“Mhmmm, if you’ll excuse me.” He gave her a nod, wings pressing harder against his back as he edged around her, waving one hand over his head like he was acknowledging someone in the distance and quickly vanished into the crowd, following the green and purple ribbons that would lead him to Lacey’s future family.

Still both glowing with the exact same shade of brightness. Still unknown just which one would end up with little Lacey’s shining personality in their lives.

Well. He paused as the two colored ribbons finally diverged. The Purple leading to the right to where the sun had just set. Green leading to the left to where hundreds of people were sitting, waiting for the show in the sky.

Both options meant still more people. But with the brightness being so close, he’d have to scope out both possibilities first before making a decision.

He exhaled, trying to remain relaxed as the crowd brushed by him, his wings trembling against his back. It wasn’t like anyone could see his wings so he had nothing to fear about being mobbed for his feathers. But still. The constant press of people unknowingly touching them had him on edge.

“Purple first.” He mumbled, adjusting his grip on Lacey as she sat back up, clapping her hands together with a squeal as he moved them closer to a brightly colored bouncy house. It wasn’t like the Edgelord would be here among the Good Old Rocky Mountains when he lived on the opposite side of the country, but it would be best to confirm that first.

With how quickly ‘Virge’ had vanished that night in the woods, it wouldn’t surprise him if the poor guy was still lost in the backwaters of Virginia.

No. Probably not. He seemed resourceful enough...unless he’d gotten himself captured by a Mothman colony--did they have colonies or were they more of a solitary creat--

Remy unexpectedly broke through the crowd, coming out where a line of porta-potties stood like quiet stinky sentinels in the fading light.

And there, right where the purple line ended, stood Mr. Not-a-Good-Dad himself in all his gothic glory. Wearing a black tank top that showed off his arms, artistically torn jeans, and purple dyed hair falling into his storm colored eyes.

Remy’s heart skipped a beat as he stumbled to a stop, rapidly blinking to clear his vision of this impossible mirage. “No. Fu--Freaking. Way.” He breathed, staring at Virge just as the guy reached down and picked up a little girl who couldn’t have been more than four or five years old, easily balancing her on his hip like he’d done this exact action multiple times before, speaking softly to her as he brushed the tears from her wet cheeks with his thumb.

Remy swallowed, bouncing Lacey as she wiggled in his grip. Lost maybe? Had to be. He couldn’t see the bonding lines between the two of them for all that Virge looked like a Father patiently calming his distressed child.

Of course, that didn’t rule out the possibility that she was his cousin, or even a niece or some kid of a friend. He would need to get closer to the girl to know for sure if there was any connection between the two.

Remy shrugged, drawing in a steadying breath. Well. Better make his move now rather than later. “Well, Laceyloo” He said, giving the girl a wink as he moved forward. “Ready to try your luck with our resident Emo?”

Didn’t the saying go that the ‘third time's the charm’ or something? With how adorably cute she was...and with how comfortable Virge seemed with this other little girl, perhaps Lacey’s laughter would be the key to convincing Dark and Brooding to accept his obviously destined role as a Father.

One could hope.

“Hey Stranger.” He called, pushing his sunglasses up into his hair as the Edgelord jumped like he’d just been electrocuted, causing the little girl to cry out and cling to him as stormy grey eyes met Remy’s metallic green ones.

Virge glowered at him even as his hands moved to soothe the girl, low words leaving his lips as she buried her head against his chest, his stormy eyes only softening as Lacey sat upright in Remy’s arms and gave him a tiny wave of her hand and a delighted giggle.

“Hey.” He said, still focused on Lacey, a myriad of conflicting expressions crossing his face.

Hook.

Remy moved a deliberately casual step closer, wings fluttering with anticipation. “Fancy meeting you here.” He made a show of looking around. “Does Mothman usually attend this sort of thing?”

Virge rolled his eyes, glancing at the girl in his arms before focusing back on Remy. “Slenderman actually.”

A what? Remy paused, glancing at the sniffling girl with a raised eyebrow. “Really?” She didn’t look like a...whatever a Slenderman was.

Another thing he’d have to go look up if these encounters with V-man were gonna continue and he kept insisting on referencing random fantasy cryptid creatures that Remy had barely heard of.

That way he would be more prepared next time.

If there was a next time.

If Lacey failed to work her magic.

Which she wouldn’t.

Because she was Lacey the Amazing and this was their lucky third encounter. So of course he wouldn’t be seeing his stubborn Emo Nightmare again.

Unfortunately.

Virge snorted. “No. She wouldn’t be considered one if I was. Lily here has lost her parents. I’m helping her find them. Right Lily?”

The child glanced up, face tear-streaked, bright brown eyes shimmering with more tears waiting to fall. “They’re gone.” She whimpered.

“And we’ll find them.” Virge assured, voice going soft. “Remember? You were telling me what your Mommy was wearing. A pretty pearl necklace right? Her favorite that you can’t yet wear?”

She sniffled, nodding. “Yah.”

Remy shook his head. Well that was a helpful description.

Not.

Still. Edgelord had shown more patience with the crying kid than most strangers would in this sort of situation. “A necklace.” He repeated. “Like you’ll be able to see that in the dark.”

Virge rolled his eyes. “It’s more help than you’re currently being, Eagle One. Plus I am listening for anyone calling her name.”

“Mhmm in this crowd? The parents would need to scream quite loud.” He took another step closer, smiling as Lily and Lacey made eye contact, the baby in his arms wiggling as Lily straightened with a “Hi you!” as she waved at Lacey. “No, It sounds like you need help from an Expert.” He said, spreading out his wings, flapping them once.

A bad decision really with how many people were around that he could have hit, though the surprised sound Virge made as he lifted a hand, taking an automatic step closer as his grey eyes darted to the people continuing by made it well worth it.

He froze as Lacey laughed, making grabby hands at his wings and Lily gasped a soft “Angel?” leaving her lips, her brown eyes growing bright with awe.

A S.T.O.R.K. But he wouldn’t begrudge the child for her confusion. Remy nodded to Lily, bouncing Lacey in his arms. “I’m here to help you Lils. We’ll find your parents.”

This close he could see easily her parent line--the same Green one he’d been following earlier ironically enough, because of course it would be the same fu-freaking line he’d followed all the way here, winding its way upwind of the porta-potties to a low hill with a couple shade trees at the top. Well, if it didn’t work out with Mr. Reluctant here, at least it appeared Lily already liked her potential new baby sister if their shared giggles and fascination with his wings was anything to go by.

Virge stared beyond Remy, watching the crowd, growing more tense the longer everyone else continued walking by without reacting. “They can’t--” He whispered.

“See them? No.” Remy folded his wings, unwilling to keep them open and exposed around so many individuals now that he’d made his point. “Betcha that’s why people don’t usually see your Mothman either.” Probably. It had to be a magic related thing. Or belief thing. A blending ability? Were S.T.O.R.K.s like Mothmen? Bigfoot? Vampi--oh, yah no….his wings pressed against his back. If it turned out Vampires and Werewolves and Mothmen were actually real only then would he have a mental breakdown over maybe being in the same category as mythical creatures. Right now. He had to focus. Find Lily’s parents. Give Lacey to the Edgelord and walla. Mission accomplished.

Virge slowly shook his head, shifting Lily against his side before he rubbed the back of his neck. “No, there's been enough credible sightings of Mothmen by people to discount that theory.” He said, shrugging one shoulder. “It may explain why, when people talk about their encounters with Angels, that they rarely mention them with wings though.”

Remy rolled his eyes. “Not an Angel, V-man. I already told you. I’m a--”

“Stork. Yes. But are you sure that’s not a type of Angel?” He asked, eyes gleaming in the faint light given by the lamp posts. “You bring babies to parents who want children right? You’re willing to help me find this girl’s parents. Therefore a Stork could be a subset of Guardian Angels.”

Huh.

“...You been thinking on this alot?” Remy asked faintly.

Which One. It shouldn’t thrill him that Gothica incarnate was thinking about him. And Two. Questioning his so-called ‘Angelhood’ was definitely not going to keep him up all night regardless of how this encounter ended. An Angel? HIM?! Ha. Larry and Dot would have a conniption that their troubled ward was considered some sort of goodie two shoes Guardian Angel.

Maybe.

Else Larry would tear up, crush him in a hug, and start blubbering Dadisms of ‘being so proud’ and Dot would pat him firmly on the back and say “about time.” It was hard to tell which they’d go most days.

Remy shook his head, raising a finger and jabbing it in Edgelord’s direction. “You.” He said. “Are distracting me from helping Lily” and Lacey “find her parents. Shame. On. You.” He spread a wing towards the girl in Virge’s arms. She immediately perked up, a shy smile on her lips as she reached out to touch his feathers.

Laughter danced in Virge’s eyes as tilted his head, purple tipped bangs falling in front of them, shadowing their grey color further as he maintained eye contact, not at all distracted by the wing inches from his arm. “Oh? Then tell me, O Mighty Stork, how can you find her parents?”

“Same way I keep finding you.” Remy said with a smirk, heart fluttering in anticipation as Popsicle blanched. So close. “Not that you can see it.” He pointed to the ground where the purple ribbon still shown between Virge and Lacey and then over to the green one that also streaked from her to run parallel to Lily’s line that would lead them to her parents. “But all children have a connection between them and their parents or guardians that we,” he gestured to himself, “can see.”

Virge licked his lips, glancing to Lacey, then to the ground, his arm tightening protectively around Lily. “And Lily’s parents are?”

“Right up that hill.” He said without hesitation, pointing to where the green line led. “I can’t see who it ends at, but they are over there. I can easily reunite Lily with them, if you don’t mind holding little Lacey here for me in the meantime.” He said, his wings rising and mantling around them to block Virge’s view of anyone else as he held out the baby for him to take.

Lacey automatically reached out to her potential new Dad, making grabby hands along with a soft cooing sound demanding to be held.

Line.

Virge reached out, arm already curving to take the baby from him, only to hesitate at the last second, grey eyes flickering with shadows as he met Remy’s green ones. “That first time. When you broke into my place. You said…” He licked his lips, hand trembling as he pulled it back to hold onto Lily. “I would only have to ‘hold her and see.’ What did you mean by that?”

….Smart Fish.

Remy exhaled, shaking his head. Sinker totally sunk. Suspicious Nancy here just had to remember some off hand comment he’d made ages ago and question it.

It was times like this that he wished he could Lie to potential parents. It would make his job so much easier. But at the same time, he knew all too well that starting out a budding connection with lies would mean a crumbling family foundation later on. Best to stick to the truth to give the child the best connection with their new parents from the start.

Remy pulled Lacey back into a more steady position against his chest, soothing her disgruntled sounds as she still tried to reach out to the Emo--or maybe it was Lily she was reaching for? The other little girl was bouncing in Virge’s arms hard enough to be a workout as she stretched towards Remy.

Probably a good idea to not have those two touch just yet. He wanted to try and make the bond with Virge work first before allowing Lacey to complete the bond with Lily’s family. He shifted to keep the two out of reach from each other before speaking to Virge. “A parental bond is only established with a child in the custody of a S.T.O.R.K. when said child is touched or held by the new parent. It’s a love at first contact sort of thing.” He said, not at all surprised when the reluctant Emo took two quick steps back away from him.

Stubborn. Why was he so stubborn about this?! Shouldn’t him showing up Three Fuc--Freaking times be clear enough indication that PopStar here was meant to be a Father?!

“So~. If I were to hold Lacey for you while you helped Lily--’” Virge asked, narrowing his eyes.

“I would have killed two birds with one stone.” He said simply. “Lily would return to her parents and Lacey here would have bonded with you and you’d be her new Dad.”

Virge growled at that, eyes flashing as his shoulders hunched high enough to nearly touch his ears. “I told you before that I’m not a good Dad.” He hissed. “And yet you just tried to trick me into--”

Well most people weren’t this stupidly resistant to becoming a parent.

Remy raised an eyebrow. “Ah Huh. For some reason, LolliPop.” He gestured to Lily still comfortably resting in his arms. “I don’t believe you.”

Virgil bared his teeth, arms tightening protectively around the girl. “This is different. She’s lost! I’m not going to leave her to wander around here all alone!”

“And Lacey is different how?” Remy retorted. “She is lost, looking for a new Dad, and walla you’re here to save the bloody day!”

Virgil shook his head, taking two more steps back, nearly hitting the nearest porta-pottie. “NO.”

And just like that the Purple line fizzled, growing hazy to Remy’s sight as the Green line took on an even brighter glow.

Remy groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. Jiminy Crickets! And he’d had such high hopes that Lacey would be the breakthrough to Virge’s reluctance in joining the Fatherhood Club. “It’s not as bad as you’re making it out to be, you fuc--freaking scaredy cat!” Not that he had any personal experience in it, but he’d seen it. Seen how happy the men were to become fathers once the bond was established. “I don’t make mistakes in this. You’d be an excellent Dad no matter your doubts. I wouldn’t be here talking to you otherwise!”

“You don’t know that!!” Virgil retorted, a tint of panic to his voice. “You can’t! How can I believe some guy showing up with a random baby in his arms--you could have kidnapped her for all I--”

“You’ve seen my wings.” Remy interrupted, spreading them out and flapping them for emphasis. “Obviously I’m not exactly some guy. I don’t kidnap babies. I rescue them from bad situations and take them to better ones. That’s what a S.T.O.R.K. does!”

“I can’t--”

“You’ll have to at some point.” Remy snapped. “I’m going to keep coming to you until you do. You do realize that right? You’re marked for Fatherhood and if it’s not me that can get that through your thick skull it will be a different S.T.O.R.K. who does.”

Virge violently shook his head. “No. I’m not--”

“A good Dad. I know. I’ve heard.” Remy rolled his eyes, snapping his wings shut as he turned away to follow the green line, adjusting as Lacey twisted in his arms trying to look behind them. “I still don’t believe you.” But it was obvious by how the purple line had faded to nearly nothing that Lacey wouldn’t end up as the Edgelord’s kid.

A pity. The dude could use some serious laughter in his life. Bright and bubbly like little Lacey’s. Too bad he was apparently immune to her charm.

“...Where are you going?”

Remy fought back the urge to snarl. “To take Lacey here to her next best option, which funnily enough is Lily’s parents so are you coming with me to reunite them or not?” At least he already knew that Lily would get along with Lacey. One hurdle gone in that regard.

Virge made a noise of surprise. “They lost their child and you’re taking another to them---”

“Mistakes happen.” Remy said shortly, glancing over his shoulder. “No one can be the perfect parent 24/7. It’s impossible. You get distracted at the wrong moment and walla your child has slipped away. Or you think someone else is watching them while they think you’re watching them and no one questions why they haven’t seen the kid recently. it---her parent line is still bright, Virge.” He looked away as Mr. Reluctant caught up and fell in step with him. “They aren’t horrible bad people just because they lost her tonight. They love her. No doubt about it.”

And if Cynical Gothica was so concerned about them and their parenting skills then he should have said YES to being the Dad to Lacey before his purple line had fizzled out!

Virge ducked his head, shoulders hunching as he brushed Lily’s hair out of her eyes. “...Okay.” He mumbled a dozen steps later. “But what if they--they loved--love her, but…but did something---what if something happened to hurt her? Badly? And they couldn’t--what if it’s not fix--fixable? What then? Would you really--”

Remy stopped just short of cresting the hill, wings prickling, goosebumps on his arms sending a chill through him as he turned back to Virge. This. He could sense. Was important.

“Mistakes happen, V.” He repeated in a softer tone. “Whatever mistake you think you’ve made that you think disqualifies you from ever becoming a Father…” He stretched out a wing, brushing the Emo’s cheek, causing him to look up, eyes so soft and vulnerable that it made Remy’s chest ache. “It’s not an unforgivable one. Again. I wouldn’t be here if it were.”

People changed. People could become better than they were. Whatever had happened in the Edgelord’s past wasn’t a deal breaker to the S.T.O.R.K.s. The three times he’d shown up in his presence had to be some sort of proof. He’d never heard of someone refusing parenthood before, but the fact that Remy kept returning, the fact that Virge kept coming up as an option in the first place, had to mean something.

V bit his lip, eyes troubled as he looked to Lacey then back to Remy, the purple ribbon connecting the two flickering like a sputtering candle. “I’m not--” He whispered.

Remy let out a slow breath, well aware that his wing was still touching his cheek, but unwilling to pull away just yet. “It’s something to think on, Virge O’Doom.” He said, voice still soft. “Once is a Chance, Twice a Coincidence, Thrice? It’s a Pattern. It’s just a matter of deciding if you’re ready when I come back a Fourth time.”

As much as he wanted to convince him and make it to work between Lacey and the Emo...the line had already fuzzed once. He didn’t want Virge to have any doubts in this.

“LILY?!” A shrill woman’s voice suddenly rang through the air, breaking the tension between them like a snapped wire. “LILY WHERE ARE YOU?!”

“LILYLOO?” A man called out, his voice breaking on the last syllable. “Lily?! Has anyone seen my daughter?!”

Remy smirked, pulling his wing back and raising an eyebrow to Virge as Lily jerked upright at her name, nearly pulling free from his grip in the process. “See? Not bad parents.”

Virge drew in a visibly shaky breath, his arms tightening around the little girl. “Right.”

“MOMMY!” Lily cried, wiggling to get free. “DADDY!”

“We got her!” Remy called, using his wing to push Mr. Reluctant forward up the hill, pitching his voice so it would carry to the frantic parents. “Over here!” He raised his free hand, waving to draw their attention as he moved his other wing to cover Lacey, hiding her from their view for now.

“Oh, Lily!” Her mother rushed forward wild curly hair streaming behind her like a banner, pulling her free from Virge’s grip with little effort to smother her with kisses. “Don’t scare me like that.”

Lily wrapped her arms around her Mother, burying her head against her chest. “Sorry Momma,” She whimpered.

“Where was she?” Her father asked, hovering anxiously behind his wife. His fingers running through his daughter’s hair.

“By the bathrooms.” Virge said, shuffling awkwardly in place. “She was crying, so we---” He gestured to Remy and himself. “Were helping her find you.”

We? Nope nope. “Pretty sure that was all you.” Remy muttered under his breath, shifting as Lacey wiggled in his grip, trying to peer out from around his wing. He would have never been aware of the girl’s situation if Castlevania hadn’t taken the initiative. His job usually involved helping unloved kids. Not loved ones. Even if they were lost.

“Lily,” Her mother scolded in a soft tone, lifting up her chin. “You know you need one of us to go with you.”

The girl sniffed, eyes welling with tears. “But I’m a big girl! I can go by myself! I’m no baby.”

Grief flashed across the Mom’s face, one hand dropping to her stomach before quickly rising back to cradle the back of Lily’s head.

Ah. Remy straightened, light green dust swirling at his fingertips as recognition flashed through him. He’d seen that particular look hundreds of times before from mothers who’d lost a babe in the womb. He’d bet his sunglasses that the baby would have been the same age as little Lacey here had they survived to full term, hence why the line was so bright. Lacey could easily slip into the family like she’d always been a part of them.

“That may be.” Her husband said, taking the opportunity to pull Lily into his arms, squeezing her tight as he gave his wife a concerned look, his own eyes showing a hint of grief as well. “But you know how your mother worries about you.”

“So much, baby girl. So much. If I lost you too-” Her voice hitched as she abruptly cut off, bowing her head, wrapping her arms around her middle.

“But you didn’t.” Remy said soothingly as he moved closer to the family, fingers of his free hand twisting to scatter green dust around them so that any nosy viewers would stop paying attention now that the little family reunion was complete. “Everyone is safe and sound. No harm done.” He pulled back his wing back to reveal baby Lacey, purposely brushing his feathers along her neck, causing her to break into soft laughter, twisting in his arms from the tickling sensation.

The Mother looked up at the sound, mouth dropping open. “Oh.” She breathed, clasping her hands over her heart, eyes shimmering as she stared at Lacey. “She’s--”

“Cute right?” Remy asked, holding her out in an unspoken invitation to hold her.

Unlike Virge, the Scrooge of Fatherhood, hovering beside him, she didn’t hesitate. She reached out to gently take Lacey into her arms, a hidden weight vanishing from her shoulders as Lacey giggled, nuzzling her face against the Mother’s neck, tiny fingers gripping onto her shirt.

“She’s absolutely precious.” She murmured, pressing a kiss into her thick hair. “What’s her name?”

“Lacey.” Remy said simply, the tip of his wing stretching out to push the Father and Lily closer to them.

“Lacey.” The Father repeated, moving to her side, a smile tugging at his lips as he watched his wife slowly rock the baby back and forth. “An L name.” He reached out, running a hand down Lacey’s back, causing the green line in Remy’s sight to flash twice indicating the parental bond had been accepted. “Just like Lily’s.”

Perfect. Remy exhaled, snapping out his wing to block Virge just as he tried to interrupt the moment.

Idiot.

Remy grabbed him by the arm, dragging him away as his wings fluttered, sending more light green sparks swirling away to settle around the newly expanded family, ensuring that Lacey would be able to bond with them in peace without further interruption.

Virge struggled, twisting in Remy’s grip, unable to break free as the first set of fireworks burst in the sky overhead. “That’s it?! You can’t seriously just--”

Remy rolled his eyes. “Can. Did. Bought the T-Shirt.” Or food. Could he still get his chicken strips if the fireworks had already started? Probably not. That was disappointing.

“Seriously?! You can’t just drop off a baby and leave!”

Funny. Remy pulled them to a stop at the bottom of the hill, mantling his wings so that Virge stood in his shadow. “I’m a S.T.O.R.K., Grimm Reaper. You do remember what that means right? Leaving babies on doorsteps is kinda the whole jig.”

Virge bristled, not at all intimidated. “But you just left her!”

Must be all those Mothman encounters. Remy crossed his arms. “In good hands, Virgeroo. Not all parents need me to stick around once I give them a child.” Thankfully. He hated dealing with the ones who had a million and six impossible questions they wanted answered. But he wasn’t actually going to leave little Lacey there just like that. What sort of S.T.O.R.K. would he be to literally just dump a child in a lady’s arms and leave?

He’d double back around to check in once he was sure Virge wouldn’t go try to find them and ruin everything.

“But!”

“No.”

EmoDramatic threw up his hands. “How will they explain this though? Going to a fireworks show with one child and coming home with two!”

Remy spread his arms, wiggling his fingers. “Maaagiic~.” He smirked, snapping his wings shut. “They can explain it however they want.” The bond would ensure that whatever reason they gave for suddenly having another child, it would be believed by those who heard it. “It’s not your concern.” He shoved his hands in his pockets, brushing past him.

Not until Mr. Not-a-Good-Dad accepted his fate at least. And who knew when that would happen. Would his curiosity help spur him into taking that final step?

Virge whirled with him, fingers brushing his wing before landing on his arm, sending a shiver down Remy’s spine. “I don’t understand.”

“And you won’t, LolliPop.” Remy shrugged free from his grip, slipping his sunglasses back over his eyes. “Not until you say yes to Dadhood. That’s another thing you can think on until I see you next.” He gave his Edgelord a two fingered salute as he jumped into the air, shimmering dust whirling around him helping him to vanish from view as a series of green and purple fireworks exploded overhead.

To Be Continued.

[ask-runaan-anything]

Runaan@NYCC 2021 AU headcanons

If Runaan actually attended in person with the characters voiced by the VA's who will attend: gosh the muns got self-indulgent, this is long

Runaan leaves home for NYCC 2021 and sends Ethari a single Pleading Face emoji every time he thinks of him

Ethari gets 2472496 Pleading Face emojis while Runaan is away

Runaan brings his favourite book(s) with him to keep him company and also for Serotonin

Rayla mentions this to Callum

Runaan is all WHy did you Tell the HUMAN

but Callum did the exact same thing

Runaan is unexpectedly supported and he's not sure he likes it

they also make a plan for what he (and Rayla) can do if he ever gets very overwhelmed

Ethari@Rayla: Rule #1 is, do not let him shoot anyone

Rayla; *very serious nod*

he rehearses what he'll say at the panel beforehand, using flash cards

and some of the cards say things like "Thank you" bc Ethari worries he'll forget

Ethari color coding the flash cards for "Social" and "Informational" so Runaan can flip through them if he's put on the spot

he also asks Ethari what he can mention about him+what's off limits bc he doesn’t want to make Ethari feel exposed or anything

Runaan: please don't have a Q&A section please don't have a Q&A section please don't have a

host: so let's open it up for a little Q&A now-

Runaan, internally: *bleep*

Under the table he starts flicking through his flash cards

he doesn't realize there's no tablecloth and everyone can see him do it

he watches the recording of it later to find all his faults but Rayla sits right next to him and she's all, "Yes yes they saw you and guess what, no one assassinated you over it, it's okay!"

Runaan goes Soft™

it's like he can feel Ethari there with him through Rayla's words

he has to thank her but words aren't his style so he offers to let her drag him out of the hotel for the first time that trip

ten steps outside and he has regretti

but he promised and his honor is at stake now so he keeps going

Rayla takes him to a bookstore

its slightly outside his comfort zone but it's quiet, and the city streets are so noisy

Ethari texted her a list of recharge spots, and one was a bookstore, with a reading nook, so she takes him there and they curl up on pillows and hammocks for a while

Another time they go out to a coffee shop at 3am

Runaan sends Ethari a Pleading Face emoji

Ethari replies with “!!” and “IT’S 3AM GO TO SLEEP YOU HAVE A PANEL IN THE MORNING”

Runaan just sends him another Pleading Face

Runaan has noise cancelling earshrooms if he needs them

Ethari wears them while he hammers

Ethari sends Runaan jokes to distract him just before his panels start

And Runaan lies down at night to talk to Ethari with his phone near his ear so it feels like back home when Ethari cuddles him

Ethari sending his own homemade "good luck" memes just before Runaan’s panel, so Runaan can fall back on showing them to the audience if he gets nervous, which he does, and they LOVE it, and Runaan is like, “I can see my husband has some support in the human lands, I'll be sure to tell him,” and the room cheers and Runaan is like "Aaaaa this is making me feel so seen but also yes, my husband deserves all the support"

Runaan sleeps surrounded by like 8 extra pillows in the bed so he can feel as snuggled as when Ethari's actually there

and one is Ethari's

Ethari lending Runaan his scarf bc it smells like him

and Runaan not only sleeps with it right near his nose but he wears it during the panel

Runaan wearing his serious face at the panel and answering hard or angsty questions, and the whole time he has earshrooms in and their lil stems are pokin out of his ears

If Runaan is here then all the other characters with VAs at NYCC are also here, so it’s a panel of actual characters

Viren using chopsticks to try and steal one of Runaan's earshrooms out of unbridled curiosity, and Runaan just. takes them away from him. without looking over. and slaps them on the table like. no, bad human, do not steal my earshrooms while I'm talking.

Claudia's flipping through a book but it's a recipe book and she's looking up mushroom soup

Ethari made Runaan an anti-dark magic charm so he's safe and no one can use it on him, so he feels safe attending the panel at all

someone asking about Lachir and Runaan just brightening

also pspsps that person is @hoothalcyon

Runaan goes off for ten minutes unprompted and uninterrupted about his moonstrider, it's about as animated and excited as anyone has ever seen him

Clauds over on the side making big heart eyes

she asks if he has a picture and he says yes and she bounces over to him and squeals loudly

Rayla texts Ethari just then and Ethari gets a FaceTime call going so everyone can see Lachir in person back home, because ofc she is fine and alive

and Lachir looks derpily at the camera like "wat dis"

She do the blep, sniffs camera, makes it smudgy

Ethari laughing and protesting off screen

the entire panel and audience is all "awwwwww"

Viren loudly demanding a cute pet so people will like him too

Runaan does a discreet lil happy stim and it's so discreet that barely anyone catches it except one or two ND's who are like aaaaa

Rayla slipping behind Viren and putting an adoraburr on his ear tho

"One cute pet, courtesy of Xadia! You've had your Adorapox vaccinations, right?" she chirps sassily

yes the pox look like adoraburrs

you are very contagious and very adorable

Janai, someone asks her about Amaya and she gets flustered and Runaan feels seen

audience question during the Q&A: Runaan, who would win in a fight between you and Janai?

Janai, immediately: Me.

Runaan: Her.

Janai flexes, literally

Runaan is happy to give her the spotlight, which is why he lied, bc ofc he thinks he could take her, he'd do it at night and he'd steal her sword first, obviously

nowhere in the question did it say "fair" fight

Amaya is in the audience and she keeps signing flirty things at Janai no matter how loud the room gets or who's asking who what, and Janai keeps getting more and more flustered and distracted

Runaan has one (1) moment where he's actually relieved his husband isn't there

Ethari would want to tease him so badly

Q: Runaan, are you a good dancer?

Runaan: I'm passable, with the right partner.

Q: So can you show us some moves?

Runaan, blushing: Distinctly not.

whistling and clapping ensue

Rayla jumps up and grabs Callum's hand and says, "I can show you some moves!"

and they dance very sweetly and cutely with some basic Moonshadow moves

and Runaan is like "I can't tell if this is worse"

Q: Runaan, how did your marriage proposal go?

Runaan, after a long flustered moment: ...Successfully. *taps his horn cuffs*

Q from someone wanting to know how to follow Runaan on social media: Runaan, you're amazing, where can we find you?

Runaan: The Silvergrove, but you can't actually-

Q: No I mean, what if we want to follow you?

Runaan: You'd need to know the key dance, and that's protected information. Also, stalking isn't nice.

Q: But you stalk people.

Runaan: *dramatic eyebrows* And it isn't nice.

Next Q: Has Ethari ever gotten hurt, and what did you do?

Runaan: *crushes water bottle*

Host: Okay another question then!

his answers would be really short if he did not feel comfy interacting, which is probably most of the time

Rayla took away Runaan's bowblade before the panel started

Runaan: but that's my emotional comfort trick weapon

Rayla: No. Ethari's Panel Rule #1. No stabbing or shooting people.

they pass a weapons display in the artist alley and someone made a replica of the Bloodborne bowblade and Runaan’s like, hm that looks familiar

Runaan wandering the con and talking to all the cosplayers with cool looking weaponry tho

he takes pics for Ethari

Runaan wandering the con and asking Runaan cosplayers, "So who are you supposed to be?" bc he genuinely doesn't know

he doesn't think he should be in the pictures for security reasons but he takes pix of Rayla posing with everyone dressed as Runaan

social media gets flooded with pix of his hair from the back though

#itssosoft trends on Twitter

Rayla sets up a pic where half a dozen happy fans get to brush Runaan's hair at the same time, and he's stuffing his face with moonberry surprise so he doesn't get nervous

it actually makes him look happy and social and Ethari is like HOW, HOW DID YOU MANAGE THIS, MAGIC

people shyly approach him and ask if he and Ethari can adopt them and he says yes

he ends up in a coffee shop zone with a couple dozen people gathered around and tells them the importance of found family in Moonshadow culture and he doesn't understand why they're all crying

Rayla teasing Runaan and telling him to tell a pirate story

Runaan is like, "Spoilers for Season 5"

some superfan nerd like mun tries to get him to admit how much he knows about Xadia and history and the show's plot, and he does that one line that all stabby people say. "I could tell you. But then I'd have to kill you."

he gets half a dozen volunteers and he is so concerned

Runaan, Protector of Secrets

Soren starts to spill about 14% of a secret and from across the entire con hall a green fletched arrow just zips by

Soren is like "You know what, never mind"

Cracky: Viren runs through the room looking for protection, and Runaan is like ugh fine who's after you this time, and Viren's all, "No one, my children are just being so silly and I just need a break for five minutes, can we please have a grownup conversation about something serious and angsty, please I’m actually begging you"

Runaan spots the adoraburr on Viren's ear and he's like, "Adoraburrs get lonely if they're alone," and he puts another one on Viren's other ear

and then a bunch more so they stack like a hairband and they're happier

Runaan just smirks and walks away

the adoraburrs start squeaking to each other and Viren is like, "Ugh, I preferred my children's terrible puns" and the adoraburrs get huffy and all hop down and abandon him

he does not in fact get adorapox because Viren believes in inoculation

some attendees would try to convince Runaan to "seek asylum" in NY and not return to Xadia or something, and he'd be like "But. Ethari."

they remind him that if he goes back he has to wait in a coin, and he doesn't get it

"Wdym. Ethari is there. Not here. I have to be there."

"BUT. COIN."

"BUT. ETHARI."

Rayla's like, I ain't Naruto running all the way back

She clicks a car fob and there's a *boop boop* noise

and this hovering coin like Tenser's Floating Disk shows up and they hop onto it and surf into the distance

Rayla shouts "SPOILERS FOR SEASON FOUR I KNOW WHO DIES AND IT’S-"

and Runaan is like "RAYLA DON'T MAKE ME HAVE TO SHOOT YOU, I COULDN'T DO IT LAST TIME AND I CAN'T DO IT NOW, DON'T GET ME IN TROUBLE I SWEAR TO THE M-"

talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular, everyone hopes they come back next year too

[staywritten]

Studio Time│Bang Chan

Studio Time│Bang Chan

Synopsis: Your boyfriend is producing your groups comeback and you learn the downside of dating a perfectionist. 

Genre: one shot, angst-ish? Happy ending, idol!Chan, idol!reader, fluff with more fluff at the end.

Word Count: 2108

I wrote this fic like 5yrs ago for a different artist lol But I re-read it recently and still really liked it so I re-vamped it for SKZ. Especially after that episode of Weekly Idol when the members said Chan was sweet to them but he was really serious when he was making music, so I figured this was the perfect fit. 

When your label announced that your comeback album will be produced by Chan you weren’t really sure what to think. You prided yourself on keeping your careers separate, but on the other hand he was an amazingly talented producer and it wasn’t often that he produced for idol girl groups. 

At this point of his career he was expanding outside of doing work for just Stray Kids. It was an opportunity at which both parties benefited. He could grow his portfolio in a way that wasn’t possible when just producing for Stray Kids and he was an up and coming name in the industry.

You two didn’t date publicly but your members and management were aware of the relationship, so some of the pressure was lifted. You didn’t have to pretend like you didn’t know each other. 

Walking into the JYP building, you led your members to Chan’s signature studio. Despite coming to his studio pretty regularly, it was a little nerve racking coming to it for work. You felt just as nervous as you did when meeting a new producer. “Are you excited to work with Channie? How lucky are we! What kind of producer is he?” Your youngest member chimed, hooking her arm with you. 

You nodded laughing, giving her hand a little pat. “I guess we are pretty lucky.” Not many producers would be open to input, but since your members had a close relationship with your boyfriend you figured the atmosphere would be lighter. “I’m not sure how he is as a producer honestly. He’s never let me see him work before. Like I’ve seen him make beats, but never recording.”

As you all walked into his studio you smiled seeing him sitting with Han on the couch. “Wally!” you chimed giving the bright green wall a little pat. 

“What about me?” Chan pouted. 

“What about you?” you teased, giving him a wink. 

You did your group greeting and bowed, laughing at how silly it felt. Normally that would be saved for broadcast and fan meetings but it was a force of habit as a leader.

“Awww cute!” Chan chuckled before formally introducing himself just to cover the formalities. It wasn’t often you got to see your boyfriend while working, but you also had to keep in mind that you still had to work.

Chan walked over to you, pulling you into a hug. You wrapped your arms around his neck, smiling brightly. “I missed you” he grinned. You did your best to ignore the aweing from your other members and Han. His nose brushed down the bridge of yours. 

“I saw you this morning” you played with the hair at his nape.

“I know, I missed you this afternoon” he laughed, pecking your lips, lingering just a moment too long.

You giggled, melting into his arms. “Aww, you’re being really cute today” you whispered, pulling back to look at him. “Don’t look at me like that” a smile tugged at your lips, as you gently grazed your nails against his scalp. “We have work yo do”

“Mmmm” he sighed into your touch. “I’m just excited to make this song. I worked so hard on it, it’s perfect for you” he smiled. “I made it just for you”

“I can’t wait” you chimed, pulling away from him. He whined letting you step back, a cute pout on his lips.

“Awww you guys are cute, it’s kinda gross” Han pretended to choke back a gag before laughing and grabbing his bag. “I gotta head to an interview, so I’ll catch you guys later.”

After the formalities, he played the demo track for you. Your members loved it. It was fun, playful and it had a bit of an edge to it. You couldn’t wait to record it. That was one of the plus sides about working with your boyfriend. You were actually very vocal at home about the direction you wanted to go in with your group.

This would be your first track of the new year, and all of your members were officially adults now. You wanted something teasing, and mature, yet still youthful and in true Chan fashion, he nailed it. 

All that was left now was to record it.

One by one your members did their lines, recording their parts in manageable segments. Chan was very caring with them, almost holding their hand through the process. “Minah, try singing it like this.” he coached her through it, reiterating her part, and changing the articulation toward the end. 

She was your youngest, and still wasn’t completely confident in her own voice yet so she was a lot to handle. She did her best to follow directions, but sometimes things were just out of her vocal range and when that happened Chan adjust accordingly. He coached her to give her the confidence that was needed to reach the note. Once she adjusted he clapped and gave her a thumbs up. “Very good, that was perfect! One more time, from the top.” In the end he changed up her part to best suit her voice and she had a cleaner take. 

You were proud seeing him so kind. You couldn’t help but watch him with the brightest warmth in your eyes. Your group were like your baby sisters and he was being so good to them. 

Unfortunately Minah wasn’t the most difficult take of the day, but he worked with each one of them carefully. In their defense it was a difficult song to sing. It was a very dynamic with lots of changes, not only was this a genre change from your groups usual music it pushed your vocalist and rappers to step up.  

Soon enough it was your turn to record. 

Although you couldn't really call it recording. 

Chan wasted no time in stopping you every few words. Perhaps you were spoiled with how doting and sweet he was with your members. Because it seemed that he had no intentions of treating you in such a manner.

“Babe, can you do it seriously?”

“No- Again that sounds horrible”

“Do it again”

“Again, from the top.”

“Again”

“It’d be nice if I had a single sample I could use.”

“If you can’t do it, perhaps we should have someone else do it?”

“This is kind of embarrassing”

Was this even the same person? You understood constructive criticism. Constructive is what he was with your members. This was just being mean. You slipped off your headphones and glared at him when he stopped you again. That time you were in the middle of another take. It would have been nice to get a single line out with his opinion.

You hated that you wanted to cry.

You had to deal with some pretty tough critics. Producers, songwriters, choreographers, your CEO. Making an album was a high stress process with a lot of hands on deck. It was your job, so naturally it wasn’t going to go smoothly. Especially when everyone had different creative views, but this was the worst recording you’ve ever dealt with in the entirety of your music career. 

You just hated being yelled at. 

He knew that better than anyone. All those nights, you would come home from work and he’d have to console you after you’d been scolded. Chan knew that yelling immediately shut you down. You bit back your tears, wanting to hold it together for your members. You could see them struggling from behind the glass. It looked like they wanted to say something, at least tell Chan to ease up, but you shook your head and took a deep breath.

Normally you would avoid confrontation and just sing it the way the producer wanted, but you just couldn’t do it. Because what Chan wanted, wasn’t you.

You finally set the headphones on the rack inside before walking out. “Where are you going?” he frowned watching you take your backpack. “We don’t have anything for your part. We need to start from the beginning”

You shrugged. “Give my part to Jieun, she’ll do it better”

Jieun gasped before reaching out to you, shaking her head profusely. “What? But Unnie-”

“It’s fine” you gave her a small smile, trying to calm her. “I’ll call the company directly and tell them I can’t participate in the recording”

“But it’s our comeback track! You can’t not have a part in it” Minah grabbed your hand. She looked back at Chan “Tell her to stay.” Seeing the hesitation in his eyes she frowned more “Chan tell-”

“That’s enough.” you gave her head a small pat. “I’ll be fine. I just need to get out of here. I’ll check in on you later.” you looked to your second in command “Jieun you’re in charge.”

Chan rolled his eyes before crossing his arms over his chest. “So you’re just leaving? Do you always quit like this? Is that the way you lead?”

You froze, hearing his words. 

Was he trying to hurt you? What could you have possibly done? He was fine earlier. You gripped your fist, your body shaking before leaving the room with your head held high. You knew when someone was trying to get a rise out of you, and you weren’t going to give him the satisfaction.

On your way through the lobby you ran into Han. He smiled initially seeing you, but as you wiped away your tears he frowned. “Hey…”  His gentle voice pulled you out of your thoughts. It was too gentle. Almost sympathetic. You looked up, scrambling to bring a smile on your face. That signature idol smile you gave to the cameras. “You don’t have to do that…” he gave your shoulder a small pat. “Do you wanna get some coffee?”

You sat across from Han at the cafe across the street. He didn't push you to speak. He just gave you a moment to sort out your feelings, let you take your time and figure out what to say.

He sipped on his drink. “Chan-Hyung was being a jerk huh?”

It wasn’t really a question. There was a certain understanding in his voice. You looked up at him, your eyes narrowing. “Is he always like that?”

He chuckled. “Sometimes. Chan is a perfectionist. Always was. Always will be. There are times when our group has come to blows because Chan can just be a little too much when criticizing. Threatening to remove Changbin-Hyung’s part from the song, getting frustrated in vocal ranges…real harsh criticisms...things like that. I don’t even think he’s aware of when he’s doing it.” he sighed. “Like when we record it just seems like the stress finally gets to him.”

Your shoulders slumped. “But he was really nice to my members…Absolutely sweet to them…he was only mean to me. Not that I would want him to yell at my girls-I’d literally kill him. But…” you sighed staring into your coffee. “Why was he being so mean…”

“He was probably being extra careful with your members…”

“What do you mean?”

“When we were recording our collaborative stage with Niziu, Chan was really nice to them. Doting, constructive, an angel. But that day was hell on us. It’s like he had pent up frustrations and just couldn’t hold it in any longer. I swear Minho-Hyung almost quit that day.”

“What type of bullshit excuse is that?”

He shrugged. “No excuse. Just how it is…Like he can only be himself with people that he knows will forgive him. He can be an ass sometimes, but he sure does put out amazing songs.”

“But at what cost?” you sighed, taking a sip of your coffee.

Later that night Chan came home, sheepishly poking his head inside to see you sitting on the couch. His eyes widened as he entered. “You’re still here?” his voice a little more surprised than he’d like to let on. A lingering bit of reliefe to his tone.

You sighed turning the page of your book “I was going to leave your ass. But I figured we should at least talk. Despite what you make think of me. I’m not a quitter” you set your book down before crossing your arms. “So talk.”

“Look, I’m sorry about earlier. It’s just-” he groaned, raking his hand through his curly hair. “The track wasn’t going where I wanted to. It was getting away from me…The only way I’d like the track was for your part to be exactly what I envisioned...for you to bring everything back”

It made sense he did give you the biggest part of the song. The chorus, and bridge were the most memorable of his demo and he gave them to you. He even had you sing the demo for the company to pitch the idea. At the time you thought it was sweet, you had no idea the burden it’d be. 

It was obvious this song was made to be a solo for you.

“Your members did their best, but they just didn’t have the vocal range to do the song the way I envisioned it… So I made adjustments and compromises...” he sighed heavily. “And more adjustments...and more compromises...” he rubbed his temples. “Especially because if they can’t sing it at recording they wouldn’t be able to perform it on stage. So one change became another….” he sighed heavily, slumping into the chair. “I loved the song so much because it’s what I knew you wanted to release… But they just couldn’t...and…”

“I don’t think we can work together Chan…” you frowned. “You’re my boyfriend, and an amazing producer…but you can’t be both. In order for us to be happy with the track, and in order for me to be happy with our relationship we can’t work together.”

“We can still make it work. Let’s try again tomorrow.” he looked so hopeful. “I promise I won’t yell, and I-”

“You don’t understand Chan. You made me hate you.” your voice small, as you looked down. 

He sank down into himself. His shoulders slumping, hurt etched on his delicate features. Never in his lifetime would he have thought you’d say that. “You…You hated me?”

“I did…for a little bit…You made me hate myself…You made me feel like an inadequate leader, you made me question myself.” you hugged your knees. “I can’t feel like that ever again. I’m responsible for six other girls who look up to me. It’s so easy to get ransacked in this industry, to be pushed and pulled into concepts. They need to believe in me. I need to believe in me and my ability, but with you… I couldn’t. So for my sake…Let’s drop the project.”

He closed his eyes before nodding. “Alright…” He hated that he made you feel that way. He never intended it on getting that bad. He just panicked when he listened to the track, and you were the last person to record. You were supposed to be the saving grace of it. He wasn’t going to release something he didn’t at least like. Once again his overly perfectionist ways almost cost him something he wasn’t willing to lose. “I am sorry…” he whispered.

Producing was one of his greatest joys in the world, and singing was yours. There was just something so utterly heartbreaking knowing that you could never share your passions together. “I know…I’m sorry too.”

He bundled you in his arms, letting you lay your head on his chest. He pressed a kiss on top of your head. “I have one more compromise”

“You don’t give up do you?” you felt your lips tugging to a smile. “What’s your compromise lover boy?”

“What about I talk to your company into giving you this song for a solo for later this year? And you, me and Jisung write up a new song for your group comeback?”

“There’s no time”

He chuckled. “If anyone can write a song in crunch mode it’s Han Jisung” he smoothed down your hair. “I think with your help we can write something that’s mroe ideal for your girls”

“But a solo-”

“Baby I wrote that song for you.” he closed his eyes, pressing his forehead against yours. “That song was yours...And I need you to have it. You said your company was planning a solo debut anyway... so sing this.” 

“Chan I love you so much...But I can’t record an album with you”

His beautiful brown eyes gazed into you. “I offered you a compromise, offer me one too”

You pouted. “Fine, since you’re in the mood to make a deal. I’ll take your solo song only if I record with Jisung, and Changbin.”

“Deal” You smiled gently scratching his scalp, and placing a kiss at the base of his throat. “Mmmm...” a groan echoed from his throat. “I’m so sorry about today Baby”

“It’s fine” you relaxed into his touch as he traced patterns into your skin absently. You grinned. “It’s nice to know that you’re not perfect”

He chuckled, throwing his head back. “I never claimed to be perfect”

“Oh yeah?” You sat back, crawling onto his lap. A smile on your lips as you gazed into his eyes. “Mr. Perfect hair” you played with the hair on his nape. “Perfect smile” you placed a kiss on his lips. “Perfect dimples” your thumb brushing against his dimple. “Perfect voice” you pressed a kiss on his adam’s apple. “You are perfect in a million different ways.” you giggled “You’re just not meant t be my producer”

“I can live with loving you in a million other ways.” he stood up, lifting you in his arms and carrying you into the bedroom, your laughs echoing and filling the house.

End.

Hey Friends! I hope you enjoyed that. It was nice revisiting an old fic and breathing some new life into it. If you liked it let me know <3 

I’m sorry my Felix scenario is taking so long... I’ve rewritten it like 8 times and I’m getting a bit overwhelmed I’m gonna try and revisit it when my mind is clearer. I’ve been starting at the screen for far too long. 

Masterlist

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@skzsprinkles @tophuphu @hugs4chan @channieboyo @tonfilm @innivspearb @mini-meanhoe @poutychangbinnie

[najatheangel]

a/n: apart of the Stray Kids Summer Collab hosted by @bangchan-fairy. My 2nd story for this collab so please show love and tell me what you think. This collab was so fun to participate in have a great summer everyone. genre: fluff, drama and angst. (Warning: Mentions of car accident and death.) pairing: bangchan x reader (ft. Felix, Changbin, and Lee Know.) word count: 2.2k summary: After years of making music at a young age, stray kids were facing their last night on the tour which ended in tragedy. They were involved in a horrible bus accident leading them to pass away, but only four survived. Months after the incident Bangchan, Felix, Lee Know, and Changbin lost their passion for music and performing as a band. The boys want to reunite and make music again, but they can’t accomplish that without another lead singer which is you.

taglist: @soleilsuhh @melonmochimoon @purplepsycho03 @kpopsnowball @neptunehobi @dundun-baby (Send me a message if you want to be added or removed from the tag list.)

Bangchan’s Pov: 05/23/21.

The day of the audition and the day I’ve found myself loving music again. I hate that we have to start all over again. Ever since that night after our world tour with the boys, we lost everything including our four friends Jeongin, Hyunjin, Seungmin, and Han. I have nightmares every day about that night thinking if I could’ve done anything different or prevented any of my friends from getting hurt, but the devil cursed us with this tragic fate.

I remember we were going to celebrate years of hard work by going to our favorite ramen shop. We played over 30 states and 20 countries all across the globe. We even collaborated with big-name artists like The Weekend, Machine Gun Kelly, Drake, etc…

Our journey was just beginning but quickly came to an end when our tour bus crashed and rolled down the hill away from the expressway. We all almost died together that night, but only me, Changbin, Felix, and Lee Know survived. Lee Know suffered the most injuries out of the four of us when he couldn’t play the guitar for a whole year.

Felix had to be on crutches for a few months, Changbin wasn’t as happy as he normally was; he went completely dark and would never show his soft side to any. As for me, I suffered from severe PTSD after the accident.

We all had to go to therapy, but with me being the leader and having to handle the funeral arrangements with my manager, my depression and stress became much worse.

Our company wanted to force us to continue to perform with just the four of us, but we decided to take a hiatus before thinking about performing again.

That’s how we ended up here after 3 years of pain, grieving the death of my friends and reuniting with my old bandmates to search for a new lead singer.

…

Reader’s POV: 05/23/21

I was Stray Kids biggest fan ever since their debut. Every year, I’ve attended their concerts on my birthday and meet backstage with them thanking them for making music that changed my life. When I heard what happened the night after the tour just like everyone else in the world I cried about it and more than ever I want to take away their pain to turn it into something positive.

I’ve decided to do the unthinkable and audition for stray kid’s next lead singer.

They’ll only pick one out of 5,000 people and the winner gets to make a summer album with Stray Kids. This is my last chance to achieve my dream and give back to the boys for what their music has done for me.

“Number 201! You're up, please get ready to perform on stage.” As the crew backstage called out my number I was shaking in my boots, but I knew that I had to rock that stage. As I grabbed my guitar and walked on stage, I saw four of the amazingly talented men in front of me. After hours of hearing people perform all day, their faces still looked very bored and over this whole audition, but little did they know I had a surprise up their sleeve.

“Hello, I’m number 201. My name is y/n, I’m 22 years old. I’m born and raised in California and the song that I will be singing tonight is an original piece. This one’s for you guys.” As I spoke my last bit of words before performing the boys finally looked up and their eyes glow as I started to play my guitar.

…

Bangchan’s Pov: I was completely thrown off guard when I saw number 201 perform. I couldn’t describe what I was feeling at that exact moment, but her voice was pulling me into another planet. Her song almost moved me to tears it was like she was speaking to all four of us and was understanding how we felt at that exact moment. The lyrics that stood out to me the most were “No matter how tough life may get, it’s best to keep your head high otherwise it’s all downhill.” She’s very confident I can tell that she was born to be a performer so I don’t see why not, but she would be even stronger as a solo artist.

The boys were cheering and screaming immediately wanting to take her in, but I was still not down for this idea for a new lead singer in the first place.

Stray Kids was supposed to be irreplaceable, but then I remembered the reason why we needed someone like her in the first place which is to make music again and do it for our angels Seungmin, Han, Jeongin, and Hyunjin.

So I stood up on stage next to her clapping my hands and slapped my hand on her shoulder. I gave the boys a nod and smiled at her by saying “Congratulations number 201. From this day forward, you will be our new lead singer of Stray Kids. Are you in?” She flashed the prettiest smile and hugged me so tight and the rest of the members joined the big group hug.

“On three you guys, Stray Kids for Life!” Changbin expressed as I’ve finally heard his cute voice come out. “1...2..3...Stray Kids for Life!” Maybe this girl would change us for the better.

…

Our manager gave us until the end of August to perform at the summer bash festival in her hometown Orange County California which was one of the accomplishments of our life since we’ve debuted as a group. Practicing together all summer made me realize how much I enjoyed the process of making songs for our group and became ten times better when she came into the picture.

At first, I’ve felt bad for being cold around the first few weeks of practice. I would always ignore her presence and turn down eating lunch with her on breaks because I was still not used to having her around. She would cry after practice calling her older sister saying that “Bangchan doesn’t seem to like me and I don’t understand why when all I’m trying to do is help him make music again.”

I remember fighting one of my best friends Felix about pushing her away the night and she almost quit the band.

He just kept screaming at me and telling me that I’ve become worse than before after therapy which stung, but I also felt bad for letting him storm off and telling him that our friendship was over. We were fist fighting which never happened and it led us to sleep in separate rooms for a whole week since we were roommates. One night I couldn’t forget was when she came back after Felix left home to visit his family for the weekend. Changbin and Lee Know were out with their girlfriends which led me to be alone or so I thought.

…

Reader’s Pov: 06/04/21.

Bangchan I never understood him out of all the boys. Lee Know he was easy to talk to because we have the same personality and have a love for the same video games. Felix was like an older brother to me always making sure I was alright, well feed, and getting good sleep at night. Changbin was like my personal therapist I would talk to him about all my problems and concerns about anything that’s going on in my life. All three of them were you can say my new besties, but Bangchan on the other hand... was a tough cookie to crack. I would try to check on him if he’s messing up in practice or if he’s stayed up overnight to practice.

I can tell he blamed himself for every little thing ever since the bus accident and he’s hard on himself which makes sense, but I hate that he has to take it out on others especially his best friend. That week in July I’ve decided to come back and give Bangchan a piece of mind because I was fed up with the lack of improvement and bad energy as a group, but then I started to hear him sob from his room. The boys left him all alone and I was the only one that could save him out of his misery.

With no hesitation, I slammed the door open and ran to Bangchan gently embracing him. This man was putting up a fight to forget about the past, but with his PTSD it’s hard for him to get through the pain. So I calmed him down and simply asked him. “Have you ever thought about making a song for them?” I can tell he was hesitating to answer the question, but he responded by saying. “Honestly no. I’m still not in my right mind to do so. You’ve seen me in practice so I can’t do it alone.”

It all started to make sense he was planning the whole time to make this song on his own and not have anyone bother him. “You’re not alone. At least for tonight, since we have one month left, let’s try writing together you and me. Whadya say?” “Y/n...You would do that for me?”

“Of course your my role model and special friend after all.” The unexpected happened he suddenly pulled me next to him on his bed and softly kissed me on the lips. It was my first ever sweet interaction with him and I didn’t understand it, but I was happy at that moment that he finally opened up to me. He caressed my head and dragged me into the studio with him excited to get straight to work.

When the boys came back, we’ve shared the news about our new song they were very happy with our process and agreed to share the song with the world. Of course, Felix and Bangchan talked for hours when he came in the room last and made up instantly. It was a fight that they never wanted to affect their friendship and dynamic negatively, but it made us all happy when they finally became best friends again.

I remember our group becoming a lot closer we would play game night every Thursday, have chicken and beer on the weekends, threw the biggest for Changbin dressing up in wolf costumes, and Bangchan taking me on our first date at the amusement park which was the adventure of a lifetime.

I felt bad for leaving early because I have a weak stomach when it comes to roller coasters. These memories with the boys are something that I’ve always dreamed of being a part of ever since I’ve seen their debut. If I can simply describe everything the five of us have been through it would be...

…

Bangchan’s Pov: 07/26/21.

“Hello everyone. This is Stray Kids we’re back better than ever. This summer has been one crazy ride, but I’m glad I’ve got to share it alongside my bandmates. My forever brothers Felix, Lee Know, Changbin and my angel y/n will share the stage with me as we perform our new song Perfect Melody. This song not only represents our journey with our new lead singer but also our journey with our family Seungmin, Jeongin, Han, and Hyunjin. I hope stays enjoy.” I was very confident presenting this song to the world and didn’t want to bring shame to my angel’s hometown so I had to put a performance of a lifetime.

I’ve slowly started to panic when Lee Know started playing the drums and it took me back once again to the accident in my mind. Good thing I forgot about it completely once I’ve heard her voice starting off the song. With Changbin playing the keyboard and Felix bass blending in with her singing in the background it meshes perfectly which is when I come in singing with her in harmony.

The crowd seemed to go crazy over it and all I can see with her shining so brightly as she does carrying the whole song. Felix deep vocals come in and we scream the lyrics as stays sing together with us feeling what’s in our hearts. We performed like it was our last with no regrets, no hesitation just simply because we loved what we were bringing to the table. If it wasn’t for her I don’t think this ever would’ve happened.

She helped us reunite as a band, got me through my trauma, and best of all we’ve found love in the end. When the song finally cut off we all heard stays cheering and crying screaming “Stray Kids we love you!” Our manager and stage crew was jumping and smiling at us celebrating our successful performance.

Lee Know was shocked saying “We did it, you guys. We performed on this stage and we did it!” Changbin started tearing up but tried to play it off by acting tough. “Duh of course we did. I knew could do it.” Felix laughed motioning for us to group hug.

“Bring it in you guys, If it wasn’t for our wonder woman we wouldn’t have made it this far.” We all hugged each other chanting and spinning around in the confetti. “Bangchan see I told you, we’ve finally done it.” Gosh, she’s just the cutest flashing her sparkling eyes at me as she says that.

“Yeah, I guess we did. I’m sorry for ever doubting and treating you like a jerk. Thank you for everything. For now, on it’s five of us or nothing.” She gives me one last smile and links our pinkies together giving them a tiny kiss. “Of course! Five or nothing.”

[shallow-seas-we-sail]

“Okay!” Alex bellows and claps her hands together, “Next game! You gotta partner up!”

Nia scoots in close around the coffee table and pushes into Brainy’s side, while Kelly settles down on the arm of the chair that Alex is sitting in and cards a hand through her hair.

“I’m with Lena!” Sam claims across the room from the kitchen and runs over with two precariously balanced glasses of wine in one hand, plopping down next to Lena on the couch.

Kara, hunched over in front of the fridge, stands up quickly and lets out an indignant scoff, “That’s not fair! Lena is my partner by default. House rules.” Kara closes the door and jams her finger into the scoreboard stuck the front of the fridge. “See!”

“She’s my best friend!” Kara and Sam say in unison, and Alex swears she can see her sister’s eyes pulse with a burst of hot anger and sinks down into her chair a little further.

“I am the property of no man.” Lena counters, which causes an elbow to jab her in the side from a smirking Sam.

“Ain’t that the truth,” Sam says conspiratorially under her breath, and Lena snorts into her wine glass as she brings it to her lips.

Kara’s brow crinkles as she makes her way over to group and takes a spot on the floor across from the couch, “Fine, I guess I’m the game master.”

Kelly glances down at Alex, who gives a small grimace as she reaches into her pocket and removes her phone, “Uh, okay. So I-..”

“Not going as planned?” Kelly dips her head and whispers into her girlfriend's ear.

“Nope,” Alex reponds under her breath with a pop.

Nia clears her throat and gives Alex a pointed look from across the room and motioning with her eyes discreetly towards the couch.

Alex opens her mouth to speak, but realizes she is taking too long and juts her hand with her phone out to Kara, “You gotta read the questions and keep score.”

Kara eyes her sister suspiciously and she plucks the phone from her hand. She scrolls through the screen for a few seconds before glancing up and looking around the room.

“Really?” Kara deadpans.

Alex tries her best to hide her pained expression, so she picks up her beer bottle and presses it to her lips and tilts her head back with an emphatic thumbs up.

This is going to be a disaster.

Kara rolls her eyes and places the phone down on the table and picks up a pen and paper to keep score, “Okay, so, you gotta guess the answers based on what you know about your partner.”

“Like the Newlywed game?” Nia asks, perking up.

Brainy tilts his head, taking in his girlfriends information, “Yes. Exactly like the Newlywed game, we discussed this earli-.. OOF! ” He is effectively silenced by a sharp elbow in his side. Brainy clears his throat and forces a smile, “continue” he whines through a breath and raises his hand weakly, relinquishing the floor back to Kara.

“What is the Newlywed game?” Lena asks, arching a quizzical eyebrow.

Sam waves her off, “Don’t mind her. She has never had a stay-home-from-school-sick day and watched daytime tv.”

Lena scoffs and presses hand to her chest in offense, “I would never watch daytime tv.”

Sam turns her hands over in a so-there gesture, “See.”

Kara smiles softly, because of course Lena doesn’t watch daytime tv. Though, she does remember the one time she had to convince a hungover and couch-bound Lena not to order Lifelock  just because “Jane Rizzoli said so.” Lena had relented only after Kara made her a mimosa to nurse her headache and sang “Take my identity as a Luthor, take all my money too, for I can’t help falling in lo-..” until Lena’s bright laughter had cut her off and filled the room.

“Hey,” Alex leans forward, snapping her fingers in front of her sister's face, “ground control to Major dork. Let’s go!”

Kara shakes her head, loosening the memory from her thoughts, but a floating warmth remains in the center of her chest. She adjusts her glasses and smiles in Lena’s direction, who has a single finger pressed against her lips and a curious look.

“Wha-.. oh, yeah, right. So, I ask a question, and both of you come up with an answer. If the answers match, you get a point.”

Everyone nods agreeably, and Kara lifts her glass, and takes a long pull of the amber, alien liquid inside, “First question, what is your partner’s favorite movie?”

Alex and Kelly raise their hands in unison, “Terminator 2!”

Alex pumps her fist and gives her girlfriend a high-five, “Yes! And yours is....” Alex snaps her fingers, hoping that perhaps it will jumpstart her brain, “honestly, anything black and white. She’s a sucker for classics.”

Kelly nods and presses a quick kiss to the crown of Alex’s head.

Brainy’s favorite is ‘any movie with Keanu Reeves’, which causes a ten minute reprieve of the game as he launches into nearly a film-thesis-length speech about the transgender allegory of The Matrix until Nia clasps her hand over his mouth.

“Babe, I love that you know that, but just answer the question.” she says.

“Ah, yes. Nia Nal’s favorite movie is the Harry Potter series. She is a Gryffindor and her Patronus is a dapple grey stallion.”

Kara tallies two points each under their score column, and taps her pen against the table with growing impatience as Sam stares intently at Lena.

“God, you had the VHS box set in college. I can picture it on your shelf.. fuck, I can’t remember it!” Sam throws her hands up in frustration.

“Titanic.” Kara says under her breath to no one, and averts her gaze down the point sheet in front her, because how could Sam not know that? Best friend, her alien ass.

“Yours was that obscure French one, Jeux d’enfant,” Lena laughs, “God, how many times did you watch that? I swear you just wanted to impress that French exchange girl. What was her name?”

Sam lets go of a breath, “Esmée.” she says, dreamily, “I could be living in the French countryside right now as a vineyard wife.”

Lena gives Sam a playful swat against the arm, “What’s yours, Kara?” Sam asks between playful attacks and fits of laughter from her friend.

“Working Girl,” Kara and Lena say in unison, and Lena’s laughter dies down, “she always cries at the end.” she says, punctuating with a wink at Kara.

“All of the hair in that movie is just so horrifically 80’s. It would make anyone cry.” Kara counters as she marks down a one under Lena and Sam score column.

The game continues, and Alex and Kelly are so finely tuned that Kara reminds herself to tell her sister to wife Kelly quickly, because she has already started a mental catalogue of what she is going to need for their wedding.

“Favorite TV show?”

“Game of Thrones!”, “Greys Anatomy!”

“Worst handwriting?”

“Alex. She writes like she finished medical school.”

Brainy and Nia seem to find a rhythm, even if Brainy keeps going on tangents about each of his answers.

“Her favorite musical artist is Taylor Swift, but not 1989 era Taylor. She considers that album too popsugar polished, especially since it is widely believed that she played up her so-called ‘beef’ with fellow singer, Katy Perry.”

Kara’s scoring has started on a sideways slant, because every time she ends up on Sam and Lena, she finds herself drinking more and tempering down her annoyance at Sam who can’t seem answer one fucking question right.

Kara instead has started a running tally in the corner of the score sheet, checking off each answer as she mentally screams.

Lena’s favorite junk food? Big belly burger. Check . Silliest pet peeve? Lena hates fliers and leaflets because “They are a waste of our time and trees, Kara. Honestly, if one more follower of Rao tries to shove one in my hand, I’m going to shove a redwood tree up his ass.” Check.

Lena’s favorite color is purple. Check. Lena hates salmon. Check. Lena doesn’t like tequila, but if she is buzzed enough will take a shot of it, but only with lick of salt and a lime as a chaser. Check. Lena hates her brother. Triple Check. Lena takes her coffee black. Check. And Lena always looks like she stepped out of a noir film with a dark shade of red on her lips that Kara is sure, ‘so sure’, would not smudge if she was kissed. Check (tbd).

Kara is throwing her head back, finishing off the liquid in her glass, burning and hot in the back of her throat when Sam answers ‘Maleficent’ for what Disney character Lena would be.

“Oh my god,” Kara shakes her head, “how are you so bad at this?”

Sam seems taken aback and looks between Lena and Kara, “Excuse me?”

“This.” Kara gestures towards Lena and then drunk and loose over the scribbled score sheet in front of her, “You haven’t gotten one answer right. Lena is carrying your team. You,” Kara sits up straight, trying to center herself but sways as she points an accusatory finger in Sam’s direction, “suck.”

Sam looks around the room. Kelly and Nia are both suddenly very interested in their phones, while Alex’s eyes have grown wide, wondering briefly if her sister is going to rear up off the floor and throttle their friend. Lena is staring at Kara with a bewildered look from over the rim of her wine glass while Brainy’s searching eyes move across the room from each person, trying to form the proper reaction to this level of intensiveness.

“Relax, Danvers. It’s just a game.” Sam scoffs as she leans forward to pick up her wine glass from the table.

“No!” Kara shouts a little too loudly, and brings her hand down on the table, splintering a corner and nearly rattling the drinks off of it, “No.”

“Kara,” Kelly leans forward, and with her best therapist voice, tries to defuse the situation, “perhaps we should just take a break from the game, and get some wate-..”

“No. Anyone with eyes knows that Lena is Moana. She would cross oceans and fight Gods and do whatever it took to do the right thing.” Kara says resolutely towards Kelly, and then turns back to Sam, “Lena is Moana. She is a Queen and she is good, and she isn’t fucking ‘Maleficent’!” Kara punctuates with air quotes.

Sam’s eyes grow wide, and she settles a steely glare on Kara, “Fine. You wanna do this?”

“You’re damn right I do.” Kara bites back, pushing her sleeves up her arms, “Lets go.”

“Well, fuck me I guess.” Kelly mutters under her breath as she sits back, defeated. Alex cautiously leans forward, and takes her phone from in front of her sister.

Brainy narrows his eyes and glances between Kara and Sam, “Am I to believe they are fighting for Lena’s honor?”

Nia waves a hand frantically in Brainy's face, “Just.. shush.” she says squeezing her eyes shut, “Shhh.”

Sam finishes the last of the wine in her glass, and juts out her arm in Lena’s direction, a silent demand for a refill. Lena rears back and plucks the wine glass out of her friends hand at the stem, “Oh kay, then.” and cautiously moves from the couch towards the kitchen.

Kara and Sam’s eyes never leave the others as Lena scoots past.

Alex clears her throat and lets a silent prayer float up into the rafters of her sisters loft that Kara has home insurance in the event Sam ends up dangling over the fire escape.

“Describe your partner in one word.” Alex says, and glances up from her phone.

“Bitch.”

“Good.”

Kara nearly digs her fingers into the hardwood floor beneath her.

“How are we gonna keep score?” Nia whispers over the table to Alex.

Alex grits her teeth at the realization and shoots the woman in the kitchen a sympathetic look, mouthing “I’m sorry.”

“Oh, no.” Lena shakes her head, “No.” she says, pointedly.

Brainy perks up, “So Lena must determine the answer, and then deem one worthy of her affections.”

Nia smacks him in the chest.

A pair of bright blue and honeyed eyes look towards Lena, who is gaping in the kitchen with one quaking hand holding a scotch tumbler and a wine bottle in the other.

“You must decree it so, Lena. Who gets the point?” Brainy bellows enthusiastically, and then flips a single kernel of popcorn into his mouth with a smile.

“Where the hell did you get popcorn?” Nia asks, dumbfounded.

“Inconsequential!” Brainy declares, shoveling a fistful into his mouth.

Lena swallows hard, and dips her head towards the living room, “Kara.”

“HA!” Kara barks, and raises her hand, which is promptly high-fived by Brainy.

Sam cranes her neck side to side and shakes out her arms, “Again.”

Alex glances up at Kelly, “Is this how I die?”

Kelly gives a noncommittal shrug, and leans over her girlfriend's shoulder, scrolling through the questions on her phone, “What is your partner’s worst habit?”

“Biting her nails when she is nervous.” Sam says, glancing at Lena as she sits, who promptly pulls her thumb away from her mouth.

“Running on three hours of sleep and thinking of a large, black coffee as a meal.” Kara counters.

All eyes land on Lena, leaving her drumming heart echoing in her ears and the steady crunchcrunchcrunch of popcorn filling the room, “Nails. It is horribly unsanitary.” she says with a wince.

Kara curses in Kryptonian under her breath, and Sam sits back on the couch, arms crossed with a smug smile plastered across her face.

Nia raises up on her knees, and reaches across the table, quickly snatching the phone from Alex’s hand, “My turn!” she declares and scrolls for a few moments, “Ideal vacation?”

“Beach, getting her cute, pale ass burnt in the sun with a margarita in her hand.” Sam waggles her eyebrows, and nudges Lena with her elbow.

Lena sways and keeps her eyes set on a single thing; the door, her only escape from this current hell on earth.

“Swiss alps. Skiing and just relaxing in the lodge,” Kara answers with a smile that shifts with a distant look, “bundled in some cozy sweater, hands curled around a cup of Irish coffee. She’d probably read a book and enjoy the quiet of the falling snow. She’d doze off on the couch by the fire, and she’d look so at peace and warm that you wouldn’t want to move her, but you know she’d complain in the morning about the knots in her neck, an-..”

“Okay,” Sam raises her hand, “we get it. You’ve put a lot of thought into this.”

Lena turns her head and looks at Kara, who gives her a soft smile, one that she returns.

“Oh, you gotta give Kara that one.” Kelly says, propping her head up in her hand, nearly swooning.

Alex takes in her girlfriend’s dreamy reaction and looks around cluelessly, “I’ve lost her.”

“Whatever,” Sam rolls her eyes, “you’ve clearly never seen her in a bikini.”

“Oh, snap!” Brainy bounces in his spot.

Nia places a calming hand on his shoulder, “Not the right time, babe.”

“Yeah,” Lena concedes with a sheepish smile that she masks behind the tumbler at her lips, “you get that one.”

Kara straightens and gives a quick nod and bright smile towards Lena, who gives a subtle wink.

Brainy flips up fingers on his hand, “So, that makes two for Kara and one for Sam. At what score does Lena determine the winner?”

“Best of five?” Nia offers, and Lena tips her glass towards her friend, “Five is good.”

Nia hands the phone back to Alex, who smiles as she lands on the next question, “Who is your partner's hero?”

Lena nearly spit-takes her scotch, but instead dribbles it down her chin and shirt.

“Well, it sure as hell wasn't Reign, that’s for sure.” Sam mutters under her breath. Lena gives her friend a sympathetic smile, and a reassuring pat on the shoulder.

“Oh, I’ve got this,” Kara says, pushing up on her knees so she is nearly level with Lena on the couch. She clears her throat, and pulls back her hair into a tight ponytail, “Supergirl may have saved me, but Kara Danvers,” she gives a sly smirk, donning her best Lena impression, “you are my hero.”

Lena pulls her bottom lip between her teeth and forces a tight smile, “Oh, so you can do me now? You think you’re so clever.”

“Oh my god,” Sam breaths out under breath, and looks over to Alex, “do they even hear themselves? Are they always this stupid?”

Alex closes her eyes and gives a pained nod, “ No, and always.”

Kara quirks an eyebrow and shuffles on her knees closer to the couch, “Am I wrong?” she asks, all the alcohol having burned out of her system. She is simply gloating for the sake of gloating at this point.

Plus she likes the flush that is creeping up Lena’s neck, and settling in her cheeks.

Nia leans over towards Brainy, “Now you can ‘ oh snap.’ ” she whispers.

Alex puts down her phone, “Sorry, Sam. It goes to Kara in the best of five.”

Brainy suddenly stiffens, “Wait,” he turns fully towards Nia, “this is not going according to our original plan.” he says, conspiratorially.

“Ya think?”

“Lena was supposed to partner with Kara, so that Kara would gradually be led into her feelings for Lena. Sam has co-opted this entire operation!” he hisses, “every scenario that I ran had Lena and Kara confessing their feelings to each other with 98.6% success rate, leading to their eventual coupling.”

“Does she always have that lovesick puppy thing going on with her face when she looks at you?” Sam says out of the side of her mouth.

“Samantha!” Lena admonishes.

“What?” Kara’s gaze shifts from Lena to the woman beside her, and a warm pulse flickers behind her eyes.

“Oh, chill with the theatrics. I already handed your ass to you once, I can do it again.” Sam says a little drunk and with far too much bravado.

A round ‘WOAH’s’ quickly moves throughout the loft. Kara is on her feet, along with Alex.

“I’m going to say it. Lena must know how Kara feels. Their future depends on it.” Brainy says resolutely, and stands, taking in a deep breath.

“Brainy, don’t!” Nia pleads, pulling on her boyfriend's arm, trying to reel in the control of a situation that has clearly lost it.

Kara takes a confrontational step forward and cocks her head to the side, “You need a flight back to Metropolis?” she says raising a fist, “Oh? You have a layover? Then I’ve got your connecting right here.” Kara mocks, raising her other fist.

“How about I dangle you over the fire escape and drop you off the side of a building again?” Sam sneers.

“HEY! WOAH!” Lena stands abruptly, positioning herself between the blonde and brunette, “We are all friends here. What is going on?!”

“She started it!” Sam and Kara say in unison, pointing an accusatory finger at the other.

“Lena! You must know that Kar-..” but Brainy is effectively silenced by his girlfriend’s hand clasping tightly around his mouth.

“Shut it.” Nia says curtly, and pulls Brainy back down the floor with her.

Sam closes her eyes for a moment and shakes her head, “It’s just a game. Why are you so bent out of shape about it?”

Kara scoffs, “Because you claim to be Lena’s best friend, and you don’t know a damn thing about her!”

“Defensive much?” Sam counters, and arches an eyebrow as her eyes flit to Lena, “I know more than you think.”

“Sam.” Alex warns, quietly.

Sam scoffs, and rolls her eyes, “Watch this.” she says, raising a finger, “I’m going to take care of this in less time than it took you dummies to set up this game night coup.”

An offended noise rumbles in the back of Alex’s throat, “Wh-..what are you talking about?”

Sam cranes her head back, “Ugh, you’re what? The director of a covert government agency? Kelly has a Phd in psychology, so she should really be better at this. Nia is...” Sam glances down to the woman on the floor.

“A journalist.” Nia finishes.

“A journalist, and Brainy is what, a twelfth generation Texas Instruments calculator?”

Brainy’s mouth falls open, and he lets out an offended, high pitched whine.

Sam turns her attention back to Kara, “You wanna be Lena’s partner?”

“More than anything.” Kara grinds out.

“Oh my god. Grant me the serenity.” Sam mumbles under her breath, “Lena, you have what? An IQ of 168?”

Lena straightens slightly, and tilts her head, “180, why?”

“Because you’re the dumbest genius I know.”

Lena’s mouth drops open, “I beg your pardon?”

“And Kara” Sam glances over Lena’s shoulder,  “I bet you learned calculus at seven.”

“Five.” Kara says, the anger draining from her tone.

“And you probably know all about quantum entanglement.” Sam says with a smirk, which causes Lena to turn around with a surprised look.

“You do?!” Lena asks, affronted.

“Pfft, of course she does. She just likes to hear all the words that come out of your dumb, pretty face.” Sam says with a tone that leaves no room for an argument, “Do you know how long I had to hear Lena go on and on about your stupid, cute, dumbfounded face after that conversation?”

“You think I’m stupid?” Kara asks dumbly.

“You think I’m pretty?” Lena says, giving a hopeful smile.

Sam cuts her eyes to Alex, who raises a hand, effectively cutting her off before she has the chance to ask the question, “Yes, it is like this all the time.”

Sam sighs, “Look, I’m going to ask you both rapid fire questions. You need to answer at the same time.”

“Why?” Lena asks, glancing over her shoulder.

“Because we ,” Sam gestures vaguely around the living room, “can no longer live like this. Just humor me, okay?”

“Fine.” Lena says sharply and turns her attention back to Kara, “Ready?”

Kara gives a resolute nod.

“Okay, great. Favorite color?” Sam starts.

“Navy blue!”

“Purple.”

Lena and Kara both smile at each other, and Kara gives her a playful poke in the shoulder, “Nice.”

“Favorite junk food?”

“Eliza’s chocolate pecan pie, but that is only rivaled by Noonan’s sticky buns.”

“Those little scones from Dublin.”

Lena’s eyes flutter shut for a moment, “God, those are good.”

Kara leans forward and winks, “I’ll make a trip soon.”

Brainy narrows his eyes, “This is actually quite clever. I did not take this into account during my scenarios.”

Kelly, Alex, and Nia nod in agreement and continue watching in rapt awe.

“Who is the little spoon?”

“Lena.”

“Me.”

Sam pinches her chin, and taps her index finger against her lips, studying the two women in front of her, “Anything clicking yet for you two?” When she is met with resounding silence, she continues, “No? Great. This isn’t painful to watch at all.”

“What song best describes the other?”

“Where You Are.”

“Glass Vase Cello Case”

Kelly throws up her hands, and Alex sinks down into her chair, nearly collapsing onto the floor, “Oh my god, from the movie?!” she groans.

“I didn’t know Kara was so emo.” Nia whispers towards Alex.

“We went to Warped Tour three years straight,” Alex says, pulling herself back up into her chair, “It was a whole phase.”

“It wasn’t a phase.” Kara says, keeping her gaze fixed on Lena and taking a tentative step forward.

Sam quirks an eyebrow and takes a step back, “Phew, it’s like a sexual tension black hole,” she glances over her shoulder at the audience behind her, “how do you guys deal with this?”

“You get used to it.” Nia says nonchalantly, throwing some popcorn into her mouth.

“Right, so last question,” Sam claps her hands together and rubs them together,  “are you two in love with each other?”

The collective gasp nearly sucks the remaining air that Lena and Kara haven’t already burned up out of the room.

“Yes.”

“Undoubtedly.”

“Great!” Sam chirps, “My work here is done.”

There are a few beats of silence, and Lena blinks hard, breaking the moment, and bringing Kara back to reality along with her.

Kara’s hands shoot up and clasp over her mouth tightly, skewing her glasses, eyes wide behind the sideways frames

Lena lets out a bubble in incredulous laughter and shakes her head in disbelief, “Oh.”

“Ho-..how did you do that?” Alex asks.

“Sometimes you just gotta light a fire under their asses.” Sam chuckles, and smacks Lena firmly on the backside, the impact sending her forward and into Kara, who catches her with steady hands on her hips as Lena’s arms wrap around her neck

Brainy is the first to stand and offers his hand to Nia, assisting her to her feet, “This is our cue to leave.”

“Mhmm.” Alex hums in agreement, swatting Kelly against the leg, “Let's get out of here.”

Sam scoots past the two intertwined women and gives a sly wink as she passes, “This was a fuckin’ blast. You two have a great night.”

“Oh, they will. There is a 100% probability they will be engaging in a copious amount of lovemaking tonight.” Brainy says, gathering his and Nia’s jackets from the coat rack by the door.

Alex’s face scrunches up, “Ew. Copious?”

“Nice.” Sam says, opening the front door.

Brainy waves his hand towards nothing in particular as he steps into the hallway, “It will be an entire thing in the future. Any available surface will be a target for their insatiable sexual appetite: work desks, kitchen counters, the bathroom stall at Al’s, Alex’s bed.”

Alex turns on her heels in the threshold of the door, “My bed, Kara?!” she shouts as Kelly pulls her back, and leans around Alex, closing the door and muffling her girlfriend's curses.

“I-..I haven’t done anything yet?” Kara says confused, looking back at Lena, who is barely containing her laughter.

“What’s so funny?”

Lena loosens a hand from around Kara’s neck, and waves in between them, laughing “It’s just... have we always been that clueless?”

Kara snorts out her laughter, “I mean... I guess so?” she says with a growing, bright smile.

“Well,” Lena says quietly, bringing her hand up and removing Kara’s glasses, “I’m glad we figured it out.”

Kara hums her agreement, and kneads her fingertips firmly into Lena’s hips, and walks them around her lower back, pulling her in closer, “So now what? I heard something about copious lovemaking ” she says in her best Brainy impression.

Lena tosses the glasses behind her, somewhere forgotten on the couch, and wraps her arms around Kara’s neck, absently twirling soft, blonde hair around her fingers, “How about,” she presses a soft kiss to Kara’s cheek, who turns her head in an attempt to capture Lena’s lips, “you explain quantum entanglement to me.”

Kara drops her head to Lena’s shoulder, and sways in their embrace, groaning her displeasure into the fabric of her shirt before lifting her head and flipping her hair dramatically away from her face with a pout.

“Alexa, play Warped Tours greatest hits.”

[pan-cakez]

Last Straw

Inspired by this post: https://countingdowndays.tumblr.com/post/189602949856/prompt-lila-salt-adriens-mom

For their assignment over the weekend, the class had to write about their favorite film. The class was abuzz with excitement at the prospect of being able to write about something that they loved, and have an excuse to watch the movie again without judgement. When the class was dismissed, everyone kept on talking about the films that they chose, and some people even offered to have a showing with their classmates after the presentations. Adrien stayed silent. He knew what film he was going to pick, and even though his classmates may not appreciate it in the same way he did, he still wanted to share it with them.

When he was walking outside, Marinette called out to him. Adrien stopped and turned around to smile at her. “Hey Marinette! What’s up?” Marinette smiled at him and rubbed the back of her neck softly. “What movie are you going to write about?” Adrien chuckled. “The only movie that I ran out of my house to see. What about you?” Marinette twirled her fingers around and looked at the ground. “I’m doing a movie on the heroes of Paris that just came out. I honestly think that people need to stop seeing Ladybug as the only one, when they’re better together.” Adrien felt his cheeks heat up, and he rushed into the waiting car while yelling and quick, “Gottagobye!” leaving Marinette standing on the curb in confusion.

During the car ride, Adrien couldn’t really focus on anything. All that he could think about was how supportive Marinette was. He’s tired of being seen as lesser than Ladybug. He gets it, that he could really step up his game, but at the end of the day, he just doesn’t want anyone to feel the same misery that he does, and will try his hardest to make everyone happy. He’s glad that someone sees him as something positive, rather than a nuisance like Ladybug does.

When he arrived at home, Nathalie was there waiting there for him, tablet in hand. Adrien stood at the bottom of the staircase while looking up at Nathalie. “Does father still have a copy of mom’s movie? We’re doing a report on our favorite movies for class.” Nathalie looked down at him stone-faced. “I’ll ask your father. In the meantime, it is time for your piano practice.” Adrien sighed and walked upstairs to his room. He decided to play slow classical music. He got so lost in it, he didn’t realize his father was there until he cleared his throat. His head snapped to the doorway where he saw Gabriel standing. Adrien shot up, and stood up. Gabriel walked up to Adrien and handed him a flashdrive. “This is a copy of the film. It’s yours to keep.” Adrien smiled softly, and took the drive. “Thank you father, this means a lot to me.” Gabriel nodded and clasped his hand behind his back. “This movie means a lot to mean, and I’m glad it means a lot to you as well. I think your mother would be honored to have her movie be your favorite.” Gabriel walked away without any further comment. Adrien walked to his desk, and after loading the movie, he watched it for the first time this weekend, of many.

On the morning of the presentations, the classroom was filled with chatter. Adrien mostly kept to himself, but Marinette sat next to him, making sure that he was okay. Adrien smiled at her kindness. He knows that Marinette is the only person in the class that knows his mother stars in this piece. The fact that she could guess correctly that he would be emotionally vulnerable today really spoke to Marinette’s character, and he genuinely wanted someone as caring as her around more in her life. She made the wait for his turn much more bearable. Marinette when before him to ease him. To say that Marinette’s presentation made him feel butterflies in his stomach was an understatement. To hear that he was truly appreciated, and that his work as Chat Noir made a difference to people really warmed his heart.

When it was his turn, he took a deep breath and looked at Marinette. She gave him a smile and a thumbs up. Adrien started talking, and explaining the movie. Everyone was captivated by his presentation, and absorbed every word. He explained how rare the movie was, and how it’s fully in black and white, and how it was an artistic choice, rather than a limitation of technology in the case of older films. He explained the plot, and how the movie wasn’t a piece of media, but a piece of art. When he finished the presentation, Marinette had some tears in her eyes, and Adrien smiled softly at her, and the rest of the class just clapped. Adrien bowed and took a seat next to Marinette, who immediately hugged him. “I’m so proud of you. You did amazing!” Adrien let out a chuckle. “So did you Marinette!”

After all the presentations was done, everyone talked about the presentations. Everyone congratulated Adrien. Lila walked up to their table, and smiled. “What an amazing presentation! I didn’t know you loved this film so much.” Adrien rubbed the back of his neck and smiled softly. “Well there’s so many reasons behind it. The actress is also phenomenal!” Lila smiles, and sees her chance to woo Adrien. “Well, I know the actress personally, and I can definitely get you to meet her. We’re pretty good family friends.” Marinette looked at Lila in disgust. Adrien balled his fists, but kept it hidden under the desk, and tried his hardest to keep his cool. “Oh? How do you know her?” Lila smirked, fully believe she had him in her grasp. “Yeah. I see her all the time when I go to events. I actually have her number.” Adrien scoffed, knowing she was lying, and decided to finally expose her, and was going to use this to do it. He always let her slide because she never hurt anyone, but with this lie, it was too much, and his last straw. “Hey Lila, can you call her? I would very much like to meet her.” Lila didn’t expect it to get to this point, but she’s still going to pull his strings. “Definitely. I can call her and see when she’s free next week.” Adrien looked her dead in the eye and said, “Great. Tell me what my mom says.” Lila’s face dropped and the classroom went dead silent. All eyes were on Lila. “I always let you slide on every single one of your lies. I tell Marinette to leave you alone because no one is getting harmed, and they’re just little white lies. But this isn’t a little white lie. How many people have you lied about knowing to get people to like you? What about you isn’t a lie? You absolutely disgust me.” Adrien stormed out of the classroom, and Marinette ran after him. Marinette got him to stop before he walked out of the building, and pulled him into a hug. Adrien cried into Marinette’s shoulder and she just let him get it out. She rubbed his back gently and whispered comforting words. Adrien slowly fell to the floor and Marinette went down with him.

After Adrien stopped crying, Marinette and him walked back to the classroom, where the class was ganging up on a terrified Lila. “You made me ruin my friendship with one of the best people I know,” Alya yelled. “You cast Marinette out because she was the only person who saw through you! She knew that you were full of it, and warned us, and we didn’t believe her! We cast out a perfect friend for you,” Rose screamed. Madame Bustier stood in the corner, calling the principal, not knowing what to do. Marinette and Adrien started walking towards the crowd, and everyone split to let them through to Lila. Lila looked at them and Adrien almost felt sorry for her. Almost. “Your work with the Agreste brand is now done. We will make sure to communicate with further business partners to let them know about your horrible tendency to lie. You’d better start looking for a different place, because the socialites, and celebrities here will have absolutely nothing to with you.” Lila was truly shaken by Adrien’s cold words. Marinette rubbed his back softly to make it easy on him. Mr. Damocles walked inside and called for Lila. The class watched her walked out in shame. Once she had left the classroom, Marinette felt eyes on her. Marinette shook her head and let out a sharp, “I don’t want to hear a word out of any of you.” The tension was so thick, you could cut it with a knife. The bell rung shortly after, and Adrien and Marinette walked out together, and Adrien asked if Marinette would like to watch his mother’s movie together. Marinette gladly accepted and when they arrived at the Agreste mansion, Adrien explained everything, which infuriated Gabriel. Adrien invited Nathalie and his bodyguard to watch the film with them. Marinette made chouquettes for everyone, and eventually Gabriel joined although he didn’t say anything. Adrien was just happy to be sharing this with so many people who appreciate it.

@virgil-is-a-cutie​ thanks for reblogging the post!! Its how I found it!

[shefanispeculator]

I'm slightly disappointed to log onto Zoom and find Gwen Stefani in Los Angeles. I wanted to see the ranch. Stefani spent most of the pandemic in Oklahoma with her fiancé and fellow The Voice coach Blake Shelton, with whom she has recently collaborated on a string of country radio hits, alongside a kitsch Christmas song. For a ska-pop superstar, it's a pivot, but Stefani and Shelton are cute together — picture-perfect in their opposite attraction.

Country Gwen exists, her urban counterpart assures me, but on this particular MacBook she's nowhere to be seen. I'm not sure what crude regional stereotypes I was expecting (Stefani spitting sunflower seeds? Shelton line dancing in the background?) but I get Californian sunshine instead, illuminating a version of Stefani more familiar from my teenage years, when Love. Angel. Music. Baby and its follow-up The Sweet Escape spawned millions of fans, haters and imitators. She's platinum blonde, red lipsticked and wearing a black-and-white outfit that matches the decor. The checkerboard pattern can be traced back to an even earlier era, when Stefani and her No Doubt bandmates were '80s teenagers obsessed with two-tone acts like Madness and The Specials.

Cowboy boots wouldn't fit this picture, and nor would Stefani's glitzy showgirl outfits from The Voice, where she just wrapped another season as a celebrity coach. As she prepares to release her fourth solo record, and enters the fifth decade of an extraordinarily successful music career, Gwen Stefani is re-re-branding as... Gwen Stefani.

Top: Local Boogeyman, Pants: GCDS, Shoes: Valentino, Earrings, bracelets and rings: Dena Kemp (The Residency Experience), Necklaces: Gwen's own, Engagement ring: Gwen's own

"But what is that?" Stefani asks with seriousness, as we consider the possibility of some essential, inherent Gwen. "Everyone's interpretation of what I am and how I sing, I mean, that's what this era is about for me."

Said era kicked off late last year, with the music video for "Let Me Reintroduce Myself." It saw Stefani playfully revisit the wardrobes of album cycles past, from the ab-bearing tomboy tank tops of "Hollaback Girl" to the club kid blue hair mascara of '90s No Doubt. Her Harajuku Girls also make a return. The entire visual is a huge flex, not only for the sheer volume of iconic career moments recreated in dutiful detail, but the fact Stefani can still fit into the clothes originally worn during all of them. She looks eerily the same, frighteningly good, ageing in reverse at the same pace as her frequent collaborator Pharrell.

"It's really a blessing to be able to have such a long career, where there really is nothing to prove anymore."

Pop stars are expected to be young forever, in looks but also in their capacity to innovate new trends. Which makes the nostalgic music video a curious choice. Doesn't Stefani know by now that the cardinal rule of pop is to avoid repeating yourself? That even the hottest artists in the world are basically required by law to create completely new eras from scratch every six months in order to appease fans and maintain maximum TikTok-ready relevance?

Of course she does, but that doesn't mean she has to participate. Stefani isn't trying to chase down her contemporaries, despite clearly possessing the physical fitness required. "It's really a blessing to be able to have such a long career, where there really is nothing to prove anymore," she says. "It's a different energy. You know, it's really just about doing it to do it, as opposed to trying to make a statement or make a mark."

Corset: Ronald van der Kemp, Bracelets: Dena Kemp (The Residency Experience), Earrings: Lana Jewelry (The Residency Experience), Engagement ring: Gwen's own

Even the Saweetie remix of her latest single "Slow Clap" happened on a whim, after the younger artist happened to post a video of herself vibing to Stefani's 2004 single "Luxurious" on Instagram Stories. They knocked out the song and accompanying video in a day. Neither seems bothered by the Old Navy meme. "It was just this little video that we did on the fly," Stefani says. "It just happened. It just feels good to put new stuff out there."

Stefani completed a two-year Vegas greatest hits residency in 2019, which gave her a sense of perspective on her own legacy. "You make a new record because that's what is exciting for you," she says. "But people really just want to hear the records after a while that were the backdrop to their lives, a 'Don't Speak' or a 'Just a Girl' or a 'Hollaback Girl,' or whatever it was for them. So, you know, it's hard — you can only be new when you're new, and that's just the truth, and I know that."

She says she was pleasantly surprised that "Let Me Reintroduce Myself" charted at all, and that she only found out it did when Shelton walked into the kitchen to show her the iTunes numbers. "I burst out crying with joy, because it was like, 'Whoa, really?' I think I'd set myself up to be quite realistic about where I'm at."

Stefani, endlessly polite and self-deprecating in conversation, which on her end mostly consists of endearingly earnest run-on monologues, says she still has "tons" of insecurities. I get the impression she has been trying harder to give herself credit lately. She recalls recently hearing Cyndi Lauper's "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" on the car radio and finding herself in awe of the song's timeless catchiness.

Suit: Balmain, Earrings and choker: Lana Jewelry (The Residency Experience), Necklaces: Gwen's own

"But then I started thinking," she says, in a goofy Cher Horowitz tone. "Like, I have a few of those myself." She talks of this realization as a genuine breakthrough, which is a little worrying for a woman who has sold 40 million records. No shit, she has a "few of those." More of them than Lauper, actually.

More new music is coming along slowly, but I've caught Stefani on a day when the horizon looks closer than usual, and while things haven't quite fallen into place yet, she's feeling more confident that they eventually will. "I'm at the end," she declares. "The idea of going for a session and not being with my kids or the idea of taking time away from Blake doesn't fuel my fire like it did two months ago. I need to decide, wrap it up, put out the project."

Crucially, there's no rush. The album will simply arrive sometime this year, tracklist and title currently undecided.

"You're talking to me at a weird transitional time," Stefani says repeatedly throughout our conversation, which sometimes takes on the cathartic tone of therapy. But having time in the first place is a new feeling.

Bracelet and choker: Dana Kemp (The Residency Experience), Obsession necklace: Lidow Archive, Gold necklaces: Gwen's own, Clothing: Blumarine, Boots: Philipp Plein

NO DOUBT WERE A BAND for nine years before getting on the radio. Enough time for Stefani and bassist Tony Kanal to be in a long term relationship then break up and write a whole hit album about it. All of the Fleetwood Mac drama was resolved pre-fame, which enabled the group to capitalize on the surprise success of Tragic Kingdom singles like "Don't Speak" and "Just a Girl" with a world tour that lasted almost three years. Three more albums followed, and Stefani has reinforced her household name status in every decade since, launching a solo career and multiple fashion lines while never totally cutting the cord from her original musical project.

In other words, record executives have been dictating Stefani's schedule since the mid-'90s. She even sings about it on Love. Angel. Music. Baby opener "What You Waiting For," in which her biological clock ticks like a metronome. Interscope Co-Founder Jimmy Iovine, who discovered No Doubt and continued to work with Stefani on her solo output, was quick to point out that his client's prime childbearing years were also her last opportunity to cross over into pop stardom. And after her first record went number one, it only made sense to lay down some new tracks straight away.

"Whether or not I get the response that I would hope to get — because that's what I'm used to, because I'm so damn spoiled and I've tasted the blood of success — I still got to do the creative journey."

"I had the baby, the first one, and it was only like eight weeks after I had him, that Jimmy was calling me saying, you've got to go in the studio with Akon," Stefani recalls cheerfully. "Like, Akon wants to work with you. Like, no, I'm nursing my baby. But then I couldn't say no." And then? "We wrote 'Sweet Escape.'" And then? "I went on a world tour." And then? "In the month that I got home from that one hundred and whatever shows it was, I got pregnant with Zuma. So then that was that." (It wasn't. Admittedly: "Then it was like, No Doubt, let's do another record.")

Things are different now: "You can just drop singles and you don't have to put a record out. But if you want to put a record out, you can work on it slowly." But even as she talks of slowing down, speculating that she might not even go on tour after the pandemic ends, in the next sentence Stefani's back to admitting that there's more work to be done, that she wants to write a couple more songs for her new record, "just to make sure."

Earrings: Lana Jewelry (The Residency Experience) Choker: Chanel, Necklaces: Gwen's own, Gloves: Laurel DeWitt, Top: Local Boogeyman

"The creation is the thing that fuels me so much," she says. "Whether or not I get the response that I would hope to get — because that's what I'm used to, because I'm so damn spoiled and I've tasted the blood of success — I still got to do the creative journey."

Like any good lyricist, she reaches out to her listener, hoping to convey a more universal point. "It's just probably the same for you as a writer," she guesses. "You know, it's the anticipation. You're in it now. You're getting the information. This is what you live for. You're doing the interview and then you're going to write it. And that's going to be the challenge."

GWEN STEFANI WAS PUTTING out diary entry pop when Olivia Rodrigo was still in diapers and Taylor Swift was but a humble Pennsylvania Christmas tree heiress. She struggles to pen lyrics that aren't confessional ("I'm not a creative writer when it comes to like, 'Oh, let's just write a sad song about something that didn't happen to me'"), and occasionally re-traumatizes herself when performing old hits. Return of Saturn deep cut "Dark Blue" triggers "crazy, just horrible" recollections of a past relationship. Even "Don't Speak" felt emotional onstage in Vegas.

But after releasing an excruciating divorce album, This Is What the Truth Feels Like, in 2016, Stefani is back to writing happy songs only. She's getting married, after all. She won't be releasing any of her trademark breakup anthems anytime soon. "Girl," she laughs, "I think I've had my fair share."

Bow: Laurel DeWitt, Earrings: Lana Jewelry (The Residency Experience), Bracelets: Dena Kemp (The Residency Experience), Shirt: Vintage Archive, Dress: Erdem, Tights: Capezio, Shoes: Marc Jacobs (Lidow Archive)

Stefani and Shelton's relationship has puzzled some fans. Shelton, a country radio phenomenon, never endorsed Trump in the 2016 election, but he did come close. Earlier this year, he was criticized for releasing a song called "Minimum Wage," about finding small joys during periods of economic struggle, at the peak of a recession.

Is Gwen Stefani a Republican now? She's not offended by the question, or really anything I have to ask. She has been famous for so long that she expects and even embraces scrutiny. "If you're going to be a star, that's what you get," she says. "You know what I mean? You get what you get, and you don't get upset, at all."

As for her politics, it's read-between-the-lines."I can see how people would be curious, but I think it's pretty obvious who I am," she says. "I've been around forever. I started my band because we were really influenced by ska, which was a movement that happened in the late '70s, and it was really all about people coming together. The first song I ever wrote was a song called 'Different People,' which was on the Obama playlist, you know, a song about everyone being different and being the same and loving each other. The very first song I wrote."

One of very few multi-racial bands playing stadium shows for hoardes of American teenangers in the 1990s, No Doubt did very literally embody those second-wave ska principles of inclusion. Stefani even wore bindis and saris on stage as a symbol of cultural exchange with Kanal, who is Indian-American, briefly kickstarting a white girl facial jewelry trend that it's safe to say would not fly in 2021.

Rings (left): Dena Kemp (The Residency Experience)

"The Specials and The Selecter and all those groups, and what they were doing in the late '70s was this whole kind of anti-racism, we come together, Black and white ska movement," Stefani elaborates on the band's founding principles. "And we were sort of echoing that in the '80s when we did it, we were like the third generation of ska."

Ska she's always happy to discuss, but Stefani was brought up to keep her electoral preferences personal, and that rule has held for her entire career. "The whole point of voting, is you have this personal space to feel how you feel," she explains. "I use my platform to share my life story and to engage with people and to exchange whatever gift I was giving. I'm not a political science major. I am not that person. Everyone knows that. So why would I even talk about it?"

"I don't need to go on Instagram and say 'girl power.' I just need to live and be a good person and leave a trail of greatness behind me."

It never has been. Looking back, it's weird that "Just a Girl" is so integral to Gwen Stefani's brand. She's never written anything else with remotely the same message, and or publicly identified as a feminist. To Stefani, it's just a song about growing up, and "all of a sudden you realize your gender." It wasn't meant as a protest or anthem: in fact, being her breakout hit, she didn't think anyone other than her bandmates and some local fans would ever hear it.

"I don't even know if I knew what feminist at that time was," she says. "I was very sheltered growing up with my family. I wasn't political. I wasn't angry." Even now: "I don't need to go on Instagram and say 'girl power.' I just need to live and be a good person and leave a trail of greatness behind me. Stop talking about it and stop trying to bully everybody about it. Just do it. And that's how I feel like I've lived my life."

WHEN STEFANI WAS GROWING up in 1970s Anaheim, her father got a job doing market research for Yamaha, which required frequent business trips to Japan. He'd bring home Sanrio toys, as well as anecdotes about the Tokyo district of Harajuku, where teenagers were dressing like Elvis, and "taking all these American things and making them Japanese." His daughter was entranced. "He would be telling me these things my whole life, like my whole life. I had a deep fascination."

So when No Doubt played Japan in 1996, Stefani describes, "It was a pretty big deal for me." The tour was the first time she'd traveled outside of the United states, save one trip to Italy when she was 21. "I just was inspired," she recalls. "It's a world away. And at that time it was even further, because you couldn't see it on the internet. I don't think a younger generation can even imagine what it's like to not have access to the world."

From then on, Japan became one of Stefani's biggest career motivations, especially when it came to her solo albums. If she could just write more hits, she'd get to tour there again, see the street style, visit the vintage stores. "If you read the actual lyrics [in 'What You Waiting For?'], it talks about being a fan of Japan and how if I do good, I get to go back there," she says.

In the meantime, she decided she'd bring Japan to Los Angeles. "I never got to have dancers with No Doubt. I never got to change costumes. I never got to do all of those fun girl things that I always love to do. So I had this idea that I would have a posse of girls — because I never got to hang with girls — and they would be Japanese, Harajuku girls, because those are the girls that I love. Those are my homies. That's where I would be if I had my dream come true, I could go live there and I could go hang out in Harajuku."

Earrings, bracelets and rings: Dena Kemp (The Residency Experience, Gold Necklaces: Gwen's own, Top: Local Boogeyman, Pants: GCDS, Shoes: Valentino

Dancers Maya Chino ("Love"), Jennifer Kita ("Angel"), Rino Nakasone ("Music") and Mayuko Kitayama ("Baby") would go on to accompany Stefani for her next two album cycles, dancing on stage and in her videos while also making silent, but very well-dressed, awards show appearances. Kita, who'd grown up in LA, visited Japan for the first time on Stefani's tour.

In a 2006 interview with Blender magazine, comedian Margaret Cho compared the Harajuku Girls to a minstrel show. The backlash against them has been consistent ever since. Stefani, to this day, disagrees.

"If we didn't buy and sell and trade our cultures in, we wouldn't have so much beauty, you know?" she says. "We learn from each other, we share from each other, we grow from each other. And all these rules are just dividing us more and more."

Hello Kitty merch was harder to come by when she was a kid, but in other ways, life felt easier. "I think that we grew up in a time where we didn't have so many rules. We didn't have to follow a narrative that was being edited for us through social media, we just had so much more freedom."

Earrings, bracelets and rings: Dena Kemp (The Residency Experience), Necklaces: Gwen's own, Dress: GCDS, Shirt: Faith Connexion, Tights: Capezio, Shoes: Marc Jacobs (Lidow Archive)

Stefani's penchant for rule breaking has always been apparent in her music as much as her aesthetic. Genre-wise, she's a randomista. The chart success of No Doubt's bouncing ska beats felt like an accidental post-grunge-era glitch in the matrix, and it's insane to this day that one of Stefani's biggest solo hits samples "If I Were a Rich Man" from Fiddler on the Roof, by way of '90s British dancehall duo Louchie Lou & Michie One. That another, "Wind It Up," features earnest Sound of Music yodeling.

"I just make up whatever comes out," Stefani says of her songwriting process. "I don't even know where it comes from. I feel like it just comes from the source. It's not trained, and it's not perfect, it's just real."

She looks back on the Love.Angel.Music.Baby era as unusually experimental and artistically fulfilling. "It was just a really incredible time, and a very creative time. I feel like it was just a really creative project."

STEFANI VIEWS HER CAREER success as mostly a matter of luck. Pop stardom is God-given and mysterious."Because the fact I made it, it doesn't make any sense," she reflects. "It's written in the stars. You know what I'm saying? I'm not the most talented. I'm not the most pretty. I'm not the most smart. None of those things. But I made it, right?"

Clothing: Blumarine, Bracelet and choker: Dena Kemp (The Residency Experience), Obsession necklace: Lidow Archive, Gold necklaces: Gwen's Own

Every week on The Voice she watches objectively gifted musicians fail at becoming artists. "I watched people that went through that without seeing their faces, without knowing what color they are. And I chose the ones that pulled my heartstrings. And even though they were so talented, none of them have had careers. It's made me look at myself and even feel even more amazed by the fact that anyone cared or cares."

If all of this is actually so out of her control, then Stefani feels safe stepping back a little bit. "I don't have that fuel in me like I used to, because I already won," she says. And now she has other victories in mind. "Being a good human, a good mother. I want to have a good marriage. I want to be a good wife. I want to win at finding peace. I want to win at finding other hobbies that I'm good at."

But at the same time? "If I'm inspired, I'm going to try to do something with that inspiration." That's the most fun part: whatever else comes after has always been an amazing bonus.

The "Let Me Reintroduce Myself" era, whatever form it may eventually take, isn't a desperate grab at former glory. It's Stefani refusing to evolve for the sake of it. She's poking fun at the whole idea of having to compete with past personas alongside current ones, while acknowledging the fact she's grateful to still be in the game at all.

"You don't know what you're doing," she says, somehow both confident and resigned. "You're a cartoon of yourself at this point, and you don't know what people are thinking. They're wondering, what? Why are you still here? And I'm like, I don't know. They said I could be here. So I'm here!"

Photography: Jamie Nelson Styling: Nicola Formichetti Hair: Sami Knight Makeup: Michael Anthony Nails: Carolyn Orellana Wardrobe director: Marta Del Rio Production: Katrina Kudlick Digitatech: Sean MacGillivray Logo design: Luca Devinu Story: Kat Gillespie

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