#and as soon as she gains another s/o or spouse... it repeats...

[strywoven]

this is going to come up in a post from the queue but i just want to remind everyone that verona WAS married and DID have a daughter ( before they were brutally butchered & taken from her ) . and while they were alive she had enormous maes hughes energy ; very much , "did i tell you about my beautiful wife and perfect daughter?" and GOD FORBID YOU SAY NO -- because she will show you , i mean DOZENS of photos and chain you down and force-feed you stories about them.

actually , no , i stand corrected. nothing's changed. she still has those pictures and if you so much as breathe a word about lenore and/or ravona , you are sealing your fate ; godspeed , good luck , you will be stuck there with her regaling you about her WONDERFUL , AMAZING , GORGEOUS WIFE AND LOVELY LITTLE DAUGHTER AND WHY AREN'T YOU LISTENING THIS IS IMPORTANT , I DO NOT CARE IF I'VE TOLD YOU THIS STORY 10 TIMES --

[olympus-summit]

Shinobu | re_Birthday Truth | Trial 6.7 | re: Charon, Setsuna, Atropos

[ CW: Discussed murder by cremation, emotional abuse from teachers, and suicidal ideation ]

Shinobu looks a bit sheepish when Charon corrects them – they still 100% believe the Titan Administration would blow this airship up as a last resort to destroy the rogue councilors – but his follow-up comments earn a glare.

“Sakura Arai spent her last hours cursing your name because she also thought you’d start a war! And Atropos told her your plans didn’t have to end in one! W-Which tells me you all did think through the possibilities a-and went ahead with this anyway. So… now you're worried about exposing the truth b-because of the risks…? I-I don’t want another w-war, yes, but I just… I want to understand what you expect to happen now.”

Not that the councilors are bound to follow the conspirators’ advice, especially since it sounds like not even they are in complete agreement of what should happen and who should be the scapegoat. But it’ll be good to know what resources they have, how hard the Administration would fight back, and what possible outcomes there are.

Shinobu backs out of the conversation, expecting that an answer won’t come when people are venting off more pain. Some part of them wants to mediate, but... But right now, they doubt they could give an effective defense for anyone.

Instead, they get up, messenger bag upon their shoulder, and place their turtle dolls at the respective altars. They don’t return to their own throne, instead sitting on the empty side-table next to Nemesis’s chair. It’s a narrow fit, and Shinobu has to recenter themself several times to maintain balance, but the table seems to hold their weight. Settling in, Shinobu puts a gentle hand upon Nemesis’s back to help steady him.

They’d hug him, but… Shinobu is very acutely aware that they are surrounded by widowed partners and spouses, ex-lovers, and whatever Elliott and Leland might be now. Any further public displays of affection would not be wise. Not that the Doctor has ever said anything about being uncomfortable seeing them express affection so soon after the complete destruction of her own relationship, but Shinobu’s anxiety (even now, there’s a part of them that fears her judgment) makes them wonder nonetheless.

For now, Shinobu pulls their hands back to themself, picking at their bracelet as they soak in the last few things said. They… don’t know what they can say to Setsuna, given how profoundly different their views on death are, and they don’t want to fight her. But one thing sticks out painfully to them.

“They didn’t do just ‘some’ bad things; that’s for someone who starts a fist-fight. Th-they picked through all our traumas and triggers made us relive them. They deliberately chose to do this ��� o-or most of them, I-I don’t know how much Menai knew and when—?”

Would it be better or worse if Menai learned the full truth early on and had chosen to keep supporting them anyway? At least if they had known, it meant they’d made an informed decision when they stayed with Elliott and hadn’t been continuously lied to. Shinobu… can’t find themself resenting them as much as they resent the others, mostly because they worry if they’re watching their own ancient history repeat again.

Shinobu groans, running their hands up and down their face. They don’t want to think of anyone as their enemy anymore. They try again, this time speaking softer.

“…Look. I don’t believe that people are born bad or good. I-It’s their experiences and how they react to it that shapes them. O-Of course, we’re… a special case. I’m sorry i-if I don’t understand new research from the 2200s or even 2090s. But anyway.

I-I want to believe we can be decent people, we could have been and still could be. And I think… that they still deserve to live. Nemesis is still right, though: It isn’t enough to feel guilty. I-It’s not enough to have good intentions or fighting a greater evil or anything like that. It’s what you do and what it does to people that matters most.

They can be forgiven. I-I’m not going to deny anyone who does, b-because that’s part of healing. But I a-am not obligated to forgive them.They’ve suffered, and th-they chose to end that suffering at all costs. But that doesn’t erase what it did to us.

They know that. I know that. I gain nothing f-from yelling at them. And… if they really are standing o-out of our way now, I’m not gonna fight them anymore. I’m tired. I-I just want to focus on living now.”

It’s not that Shinobu fully buys into the whole ‘if you kill them you’ll be just as bad as them’ concept that old stories they read would pull out, but… but they do believe people deserve a base level of dignity, and that death is not the answer. Though they aren’t really sure if that choice is in anyone’s hands now: They’ve noticed Atropos’s health deteriorate, and while she was cagey about what was wrong with her, Shinobu can’t help but wonder if there’s another reason this was their last chance to end the Summit.

They hope she is watching the way they stare at her.

“…The file said I was – the other me was in his late 70s when you spoke to him, right? And my real birth year is apparently '38…? Then, that means you contacted me a-after you’d started working here as s-staff.”

Had there been a Shinobu among the councilors in those first two decades? Was Shinobu one of those ‘popular’ ones that had been brought back first, so beloved by the citizens that the Titan Administration gave them the honor of dying in a furnace, unaware why they were burning, unaware that the Administration had already reversed all the good things that they and people like Mitsu and Evren and Mina had done for the world?

A clattering noise interrupts Shinobu’s denouement, and they glance down to see red beads scattered all over the floor – they’ve finally torn their bracelet apart, the snapped string gripped tight in their trembling hand. Shinobu loosely wraps the strings around their fingers, and shakily continues speaking. There’s a smudge of blood on their lips, from biting back on their terror.

They have to… If Atropos is deteriorating regardless their decisions, if this becomes the last time they will ever meet, then Shinobu will force themself to talk even through the pain. Even the bravest and smartest of Shinobu’s incarnations stayed silent when it mattered most. Shinobu can’t let it happen again.

“…b-b-but… Y-You asked me to h-help you restructure sports and their ethics. To make s-sure athletes are treated w-with dignity physically and psychologically. To let kids be kids and not trophies f-for their coaches to show off.

You… understood, didn’t you? What my coaches did to me? H-How they’d nitpick all my flaws and tear down my self-worth u-until I’d rather die than fail a-another test, all because they thought an angry and desperate student would work harder th-than a happy one? I-I’ve… seen the photo. Were we friends, once?”

Which Shinobu was that in the photo, chatting happily with Atropos over lunch? The second? The third or the fourth? Some other initialization of SM2038 Nike.ai that Shinobu doesn’t even know about? How much had she shared about herself and her own history? Had she genuinely wanted to bond over their similar experiences, or was she just passing time until the day Shinobu would die and forget once more?

“I w-wouldn’t know. But you would. You know what my coaches did to me. You know how ‘breaking’ us is just her philosophy on a grander scale. You know why I can’t forgive you.”

They watch her, now without any of her weapons and her pride, and Shinobu finally realizes something: More than they hate Atropos, they pity Clarice.

They project themself upon her, and they wonder: Could they have become this, given a hundred and twelve years of resenting their own extended existence? They know why she accepted the Forge the first time around – she hasn’t told them, but they know deep in their weakened bones why she did that. Could that have been Shinobu too, if they had chosen someone else to be Clotho or Lachesis? Could Shinobu, after a hundred years of sending people to their deaths, have become so willing to inflict a few months of torture on others just to break the cycle?

But people are shaped by their experiences, and Shinobu did not become that person. Calista and Iris did. Clarice did. And Shinobu cannot forgive how she, in her own way, perpetuated the same cycle they had both hated so much.

They still hope she lives. They hope she gets to live long enough to watch these final councilors thrive without her.

“I want everyone here to live.”

There’s nothing more than can be said now. Shinobu doesn’t want to feed into the circular arguments any longer. They go quiet, hand back on Nemesis’s shoulder, and hope that maybe now, they can all finally begin to reclaim their humanity.