#and as someone that struggles with sharing their shit
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Pairing: Dick Grayson/Nightwing x (f)reader
Tags: NSFW, secret identity, vigilante reader, office romance, fingering, kissing, biting, wounds, penetration, slightly toxic Dick Grayson,
"Holy shit, y/n?" A gruff voice called your name from across the police station. You turned away from your papers and in the direction the address was coming from, meeting a bloodshot wild gaze of a man who looked around your age. You didn't recognize him, who was currently in the middle of being escorted into a cell.
You didn't respond, assuming he confused you with someone else. He called you again, though. "Y/n! It's Spencer Van! We were in the fifth grade together-"
You met his crazy gaze again, raising your brow in question.
"Ms. Strums class!" He added.
You blinked, recalling the name of your fifth grade teacher. You began to recognize him. And your mouth twisted in disgust. You didn't remember much other than him being a piece of shit; bullying the smarter kids, and constantly interrupting your teacher during class. Not a person worth remembering.
Your grimace didn't deter him, though, as his gaze slowly studied you up and down. You began to regret your earlier decision to discard your blazer when his gaze landed on the undone top buttons of your blouse.
You hated going to the police station for this exact reason. The staff were nice, but the people they brought in... different story.
"Damn," Spencer groaned, his tongue sliding across his teeth. "You grew up gorgeous."
The blood drained from your face, and you felt nauseous. Now definitely swallowing bile. Detectives and staff were looking between you two as you took in a steadying breath and tried to avoid glaring at him.
"You like me like this?" Spencer continued, grinning a dirty, crooked smile and wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. "You like seeing me in handcuffs?-"
Before he finished his sentence, he was brutally shoved into the cell. The sound of the slam echoed throughout the station.
The detective who shut him up, Dick Grayson, stood towering, muscular, and gorgeous in his uniform, and your secret crush on him only grew. Dick barely broke a sweat while Spencer bounced off the wall and was now wheezing, struggling to get back up.
"You son of a bitch-" Spencer choked. "You fucking broke my rib!"
"Yeah?" Dick challenged. "Press charges when you're done serving ten years for drug trafficking. Prick." Then he slammed the cell door shut.
The rest of the room fell back into routine, the sounds of phone calls, walkies, filing papers, and conversations filling the air once more. Grateful for the change in pase, you returned to your documents.
"Ms. L/n, are you alright?" A low masculine voice you instantly recognized spoke behind you. You turned to see the detective. Sharp features and ocean-colored eyes pierced through your thoughts, catching you off guard. Your breath hitch at his size towering over you, while the smell of beachy cologne invaded your senses. His uniform hugged his body so well that you could almost see the defined muscle under the material.
"Yeah, thanks for hitting him." You stammered, your shoulders rising slightly.
"Sorry I didn't do it sooner." He frowned, his gaze flicking to Spencer, who still groaned in his cell.
You gathered your files. "Should we sit down to look over the Falcone case?"
"Yes, right." Dick gestured for you to take a seat at his desk. It was the only one in the room that wasn't covered in a million papers. Just his computer, a notepad, pen, and calculator lined up against each other in a tidy order, with a half finished cup of coffee sat on the corner. "Can I get you anything? Coffee? Water?"
You shook your head. "Is there somewhere private we can talk?" Then, at his raised brow, you rushed to add. "I'll need to share some sensifitive information."
He nodded in understanding and got up, leading you down the hall. Your heels clicked behind him as he opened the door to a filing room lined with shelves. A single table and two chairs sat in the middle of it, illuminated by warm toned lights. The noise died down as he shut the door before pulling out your chair.
He spoke up as you sat down. "Late nights at the office, huh?"
You blinked, trying your best to look confused, also trying to cover the blush on your cheeks. "N-no. Why do you ask?"
He shrugged, offering you his signature joking smile. "From our email exchanges, you were originally supposed to come here yesterday. I was just curious why the last-minute change."
You shook your head, rushing. "Nope, I just... I wasn't feeling well."
"Oh no." Dick said, his brow creasing. His tone of worry hid a chuckle that was desperately trying to escape. You were such a bad liar. "I'm glad you're feeling better then."
"Yes, well," you took your seat, pulling out a series of photographs from your folder and placing them on the table for him to see. "Falcone met with the owner of MacKenzie Buildings in his club two nights ago."
Dick made a big show of studying the photographs, which he took himself two nights ago. "Hmmm."
You continued. "Yesterday, as you know, MacKenzie was found dead in his apartment."
Dick nodded along to your words, picking up a photograph to study it closer before frowning. His brows furrowed as he looked at the picture. "How'd you get these? Did you hire a P.I.?"
"Not exactly." You lowered your voice, eyeing the locked door behind you.
When you turned around, his blue gaze was narrowed at you. Questioning.
"I'd like to keep the source confidential."
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Two nights ago.
"I need to go use the ladies' room." You spoke over the music before getting off your date's lap. He grinned and nodded, barely acknowledging you as he was distracted with a pair of girls dancing on a tabletop.
You matched with the man on a hookup app an hour ago, suggesting this club to meet uo, and he was more than happy to go - probably thinking he was going to get lucky. In reality, it was just a cover.
As soon as you walked off the main floor, you headed for the back of the club and out to an alleyway behind the building. Unwrapping a bandana from your wrist, you tied it around your face, hiding all of it, save your eyes.
Taking quiet steps in your combat boots on the gravel, you grasped at the bag slung across your shoulder as you spotted your opening. With a running start, you jumped up, grabbed onto the latter, and began to climb.
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Nightwing followed you for the fourth week in a row. This time, your escapades brought you to Falcone's nightclub, with some creep who wouldn't stop running his hands over the open back of your corset top. Dick had half a mind to knock him out there, and then each time you stiffened from his hand, brushing against your skin.
Wearing an all-black outfit which helped you blend in, you hiked your makeshift mask covering your face. You used the railings to scale your way up the roof with practiced ease.
Either gymnastics or calisthenics - if Dick had to guess. Or the mandatory self-defense classes at Gotham Law had incorporated parkour. Brushing his chin with his fingers, he perched casually on a nearby rooftop.
Silently lifting yourself up and positioning yourself on a rooftop that overlooked a large window, behind which Falcone and his men were gathered around a table. Dick watched you pull out a camera from your bag and begin to snap pictures. Like you were some kind of private investigator.
Dick watched patiently. He's seen you do this several times now. He was curious where this was heading this night.
Silence and the howl of wind replaced the club’s thumping bass, and for a moment, you felt utterly alone - until you heard the faintest shuffle above.
Instantly, you rolled out of the way just as the guy's fist came down to the spot where you just were. You got up, hid your camera in your bag, and assessed the assailant. Only one. Good. That you can handle.
You dodge the following blow as well, dropping to your hands and swiping your leg under both of his, knocking him off balance. He went down fast, and you took out the taser you always had in your pocket, bringing it to his neck and activating it until his body began to shake. You held it long enough for him to pass out. Then, you held your hand to his neck, making sure you found his pulse, ensuring he was still alive and walked on, taking your camera back out. As you were snapping the pictures, what you didn't see were the two other bodyguards approaching you on the roof.
Good thing he did.
Out of nowhere, you were grabbed around your waist and flung onto a higher up rooftop, and away from the meeting. "Hey!-"
"Quiet." A deep voice growled against your ear.
When you two landed on another rooftop, you stumbled and caught yourself on the rubble. You turned around, facing your new assailant.
Momentary shock took over as you were met with THE Nightwing. The protector of bludhaven, glowering down at you with a disappointed look under his mask.
"Nightwing!" You choke out.
"The one and only." He confirmed.
You've never seen him in person, never mind standing inches away from him. Your initial shock wore off to make room for anger of your own. "Look... thank you for saving me, but I don't need your help."
He smirked like you just made a joke, then gestured behind you, tilted his chin. "Turn around."
Tentatively, you turned and faced the street, away from him.
"Look down, down at the alleyway." He said. "See those guys patrolling outside the club with their M16's?"
You strained your eyes, trying to see what he was referring to. "No..."
"Exactly." He came to stand side to side with you, taking something out or his utility belt and holding it up to you. Upon initial inspection, you concluded it was a lens of some sort, and you brought it up to your eye. The lens did show a pair of bodies walking back and forth behind a brick wall. Heat sensors.
Embarrased, you handed him the lens. You took a breath, steadying yourself under his intense gaze. Heart pounding, you wondered why his presence felt just as dangerous as comforting.
"It sucks. Doing what I do. Not everyone can." He said.
"I'm not trying to do what you do." You defended yourself. "I'm no vigilante."
"Why do you need these pictures?"
You follow his gaze down to the camera clutched in your hands. "That's confidential,"
He then stood face to face with you. Or rather, face to chest with his frame dwarfing you. "Are you a P.I.?"
"No." You huffed, hoping your raised brow will stop any more questions. "Thank you for saving me. See you around." Then you hopped down the rails and to the ground.
You pushed open the door to your apartment, stepping in still in your club clothing. The corset top was dirty and pulled out of your leather tights, which tore at some point during your escapades, and your feet were in immeasurable pain from walking in those boots all night. You were tired as you tossed your keys into a bowl and locked the door.
A man cleared his throat behind you. "So this is where you live," Nightwing stepped into your living room.
Your voice hitched, and you jumped, rushing to switch on your lights. You stumble over your heals and nearly fall. He caught you around your waist and stabilized you.
"What were you doing at Falcone's club?" He asked, eyes searching your apartment.
"Did you follow me?" You asked, tone incredulous.
"Didn't have to," he pulled up a piece of paper and held it to you.
Your eyes widened. "Is that my car insurance?"
"Mhmm," he nodded, walking to your kitchen and flipping through the papers on your counter. "Pro tip: when you go on patrol, don't bring ID. Otherwise, the mask becomes obsolete." He grinned and picked up an envelope. "Ah cute, your children's hospital donation went through."
You snatched the envelope from his hand. "Give me that! And get out of my house!"
He tisked and shook his head. "Not before you tell me when you were doing following Falcone."
"I- I already told you-"
"You told me fuck all." He interrupted. "Now, I know exactly who you are, miss. L/N I know everyone you've ever met and how to find them. Easily."
He stalked closer, the shadows of your dimly lit room casting sharp angles on his face. “Now ill ask you one more tim. What were you doing at Falcone’s club?” His voice was low, the threat behind it unmistakable, and for a moment, you wondered if Nightwing was as dangerous as the people he fought.
You gulped, straightening your neck. "Look, nightasshole-"
"Weak." He snorted.
"You're breaking and entering." You continued. "I could call the cops on you."
He grinned, wondering if he should let you, only for his phone ring when you dialed. Then, he set the idea aside. "That building you were on when you were snapping your pictures belongs to Falcone. You were on private property without permission. I'm sure a lawyer would know what the name for that is,"
Your shoulders sagged as you lowered your gaze. "Trespassing."
"Very good." He said. "So go ahead and place that call, y/n." He shrugged. "Tell them that Nightwing, identity unknown, address unknown, broke and entered into your house." You approached you, his tone sharpening. "Meanwhile, I'll place my own call. About Y/n L/n, from apartment 2a on 21 Nelson rd. For trespassing on Carmine Falcone’s private property. We'll see how long you get to keep your license."
Your eyes widened in shock. Would he really ruin your career over this? And all of a sudden, the mantle of "protector" became subjective in your mind. You swallowed nervously, regarding him with unease.
In a sudden move, you raised your knee, aiming straight for his groin, hoping to take him by surprise.
He was way ahead of you, and he dodged your knee along with the follow up attacking from your punches and kicks.
You were backed up against the wall, one of his hands easily held both your wrists above your head.
"Cute," he murmured, his voice mockingly soft, as though you're struggling amused him. "Should I be insulted that you think you can fight off Blüdhaven’s ‘protector’? Those defense classes they make you lawyers take get worse and worse each year -"
You collided your forehead with his nose.
"Shit!" He swore, then huffed a laugh, raising his free hand to wipe at the trickle of blood trickling from his nose, and looked down at his hand. The distraction you hoped for wasn't effective as you struggled against his hold, which was rock solid.
"I think you broke my nose." He said as a matter of factly. "How's your head?"
"Fine!" You snapped at him, fighting to keep your vision from blurring at the edges. That was the wrong angle to use, you thought, cursing yourself for forgetting the lessons you got from your self-defense training.
"Yeah?" He sounded doubtful. "Not throbbing anywhere? Like over here," he gave a gentle tap to your temple.
"Ow!" The point he pressed shot excruciating pain throughout your head, and your vision blurred even more.
"Yeah, valiant effort on your part." He commented, his voice growing more and more muffled as you struggled to... to...
He snapped his fingers in front of your eyes. "Hey, hey, no. No falling asleep. You gave yourself a concussion."
"Get... out of my home," you slurred.
"Can't do that either." He sighed. "I'd be leaving you for dead." He grinned. "That wouldn't be very heroic of me."
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Well, this is certainly the most creative way he had to keep a woman up all night, Dick thought to himself, bringing the smelling salts up to your nose.
"Ah, christ!" You exclaimed, jerking away from the violent stench. "Why do you even have these with you?"
"You'd be surprised how often head injuries can occur in my line of work." He explained, putting them away. "I've had to keep myself awake after a lot of brawls."
You nodded, eyeing him wearily. It was so odd how casual he was acting about this entire situation. You felt like you were a prisoner in your own home, with him as a friendly warden.
"How's your nose?" You asked, your hands rubbing your temples to try and ease the pain.
"Eh," he shrugged, looking at his reflection on your phone. "I've had worse."
He demanded on staying until he confirmed you were better. When the throbbing stopped, he did a quick assessment of your vitals using some kind of gadget you've never seen before.
The following afternoon, you came back to a package resting on the pile of mail on your kitchen counter.
There was a note on top, scrawled in sharp, hurried letters: "Thank me later."
Suspecting who it might be from, you carefully turned the folder over, spilling its contents—a stack of photos showing Carmine Falcone in a close conversation with Owen MacKenzie, the owner of MacKenzie Buildings.
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Present Day
"Let me guess," Dick said, arms crossed as he leaned against his desk. "You’re suggesting there’s a connection between MacKenzie’s death and his meeting with Falcone."
You nodded. "Just speculation for now, but it’s no secret Falcone’s been after those developments. I think he made MacKenzie an offer he didn’t like, and the next day…"
Dick’s gaze narrowed, his fingers tapping idly against the edge of his desk. "So, what do you need from me?”
"You have access to the autopsy report," you replied, leaning forward. "If we can prove it was murder we can keep those properties out of Falcone’s hands.”
He studied you, scratching his head. "That’s making a lot of assumptions."
“Which is why I came to you,” you pressed, holding his gaze.
He raised a brow, lips quirking in mild amusement.
"If we’re right, we could keep dozens of families from getting pushed out onto the streets," you said, more earnestly.
After a long beat, Dick sighed and nodded. "I’ll see what I can do."
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Later That Night
Either that concussion affected your memory, or it dulled your self-preservation instincts, Dick mused as he watched you. He couldn't fathom why you kept diving headfirst into life-threatening situations.
You climbed the scaffolding at an abandoned construction site, slipping past rusted barriers until you reached the eighth floor. Perched on a narrow ledge, you crept toward a makeshift office in the corner—little more than a desk and chair surrounded by half-finished walls. Kneeling, you pulled out a lock-picking set and made quick work of the drawer, glancing over your shoulder once before opening it.
A low chuckle sounded behind you. "Not a shred of self-preservation in that little body of yours."
You jumped, heart pounding, and spun around to find Nightwing leaning casually against a support column, arms crossed over his chest.
"God," you muttered, trying to steady your breathing, "I thought you were a -"
"Bad guy?" He chuckled, tilting his head. "What exactly would you have done?"
"Maybe tase you," you shot back, turning back to sift through the documents in the drawer.
In two strides, he was beside you, looking over your shoulder at the papers. "What are we looking at?"
You glanced up at him, momentarily struck by his proximity. It took a beat too long for you to refocus, the sheer size and quiet intensity of him throwing you off balance.
"I’m looking for a ledger or a blueprint - anything tying this site to MacKenzie."
Nightwing raised a brow. "The project’s been transferred to Falcone. Announced just this morning."
"Do you believe that?"
He sighed, arms crossed. "Alright, trouble. Enlighten me - what’s your theory?"
"You really need me to spell it out?" you asked, arching a brow.
He smirked. "You think Falcone’s behind MacKenzie’s death."
You nodded. "A friend in Blüdhaven is working on getting me his autopsy report, and - "
"Oh, a friend?" he interrupted with a teasing tone. "Must’ve gone through all the right channels to get that, yeah?"
You frowned. "Of course."
He leaned in, the playful spark still in his eyes. "You know, a real friend would’ve gotten it for you just cus. No questions asked."
You stifled a blush, hoping your mask hid the heat rising in your cheeks. His gaze softened as it lingered on you, just a shade too long, his lips curling in a way that made your pulse quicken.
You were overcome with a need to defend Dick after Nightwing’s comment. "He's more noble than you," you said.
And oh god, if the irony alone didn't make Dick want to burst out laughing. Pull yourself together, he said to himself.
"Did anyone tell you." His voice was lower now, softer. "You have pretty eyes."
Thrown off, you glanced away, muttering, "Just… let me know if you see anything with MacKenzie’s name on it."
A low ding from the far end of the floor interrupted your sentence. You both froze, watching as the elevator doors slid open, and heavy footsteps echoed into the hollow silence. You quickly locked the drawer and put everything back in place.
Before you could even react, Nightwing’s arm was around your waist, pulling you back toward the edge of the building. He fired his grappling hook to the floor above, tugging you both up to safety. His hold on you was firm yet controlled.
Landing, you were acutely aware of every inch of him pressed against you, his gaze unreadable as he raised a gloved finger to his lips, signaling for silence. You swallowed, pulse racing, unable to tear your attention away from the solid, unyielding warmth of him beside you.
"Destroy every file on that table," a voice ordered. "Burn it all if you have to. I don’t want any trace left of his fingerprints here."
Your eyes widened. Proof that MacKenzie had been involved after all. You looked up at Nightwing, who nodded, clearly understanding the gravity of the moment.
The voice spoke again, sending a thrill of hope through you. "And make sure they do the same over at the south location. We don’t need loose ends."
Your eyes met Nightwing’s, urgency clear in your expression. There was still a chance to get evidence.
The smell of smoke drifted up from the floor below, mingling with the crisp night air as flames started licking up from the table and chair. You looked at Nightwing, panic flashing in your eyes. He didn’t move until the elevator dinged again, signaling the men’s departure.
"We need to get to that second site," you whispered, barely able to contain your urgency.
Nightwing’s gaze hardened, his earlier playfulness replaced by a steely resolve. "I need to get there. You’re going home."
"But-"
"No buts," he said, his voice leaving no room for argument. "You want to help these people? Stay out of sight and leave the dangerous work to me. Trust me—this is my city."
For a moment, you considered arguing back, but something in his gaze warned you not to push him further. Instead, you gave a reluctant nod, allowing him to guide you away.
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There was a knock at your window.
You look up from your phone, already ready for bed in your pijama shorts and tube top. You see his outline through the glass as you aproach the window, already half-expecting bad news as you open it cautiously. You are met with Blüdhaven’s protector, leaning on the rail of your balcony, clutching his side, blood seeping through the cracks of his suit.
"Hey," he rasped, short breathes coming out of cut lips with a pained smirk as he raised a USB. "Got your evidence."
"You’re bleeding," you said, your voice a mix of shock and concern.
"Only a little," he grunted, but when he stumbled, you caught his arm, guiding him inside before he collapsed entirely. "You should see the other guy."
He helped you remove the top of his suit, leaving him bare to his hips. You tried not to linger too much on the ridges of hard-defined muscles lining up his chest, arms and stomach - it was a challenging endeavor.
Your hands moved carefully as you cleaned the gash on his side, trying not to let your worry show. "You should’ve gone to a hospital."
"They ask too many questions," he said with a wince but tried to smile. "And I’d rather have you play nurse."
Huffing, you rolled your eyes, but his words sent your pulse racing. You could feel his breath close to your cheek as you look down, the faint brush of his gloved fingers against your arm as you worked.
"Ive got a first aid kit. One moment." You said, getting up and bringing the white box that was kept on the top of your bookshelf. You've had some practice stiching up wounds back when your little siblings would get scrapes on the playground. You even wanted to be a doctor when you were a kid. Before you decided studying law was more interesting. Especially in a city like Bludhaven.
He drew in a gasp as you carefully threaded the needle, stitching up his wound. Finishing up, you placed a gauze bandage around the affected area, tisking. "You should still go get it checked out."
His fingers gently wrapped around your wrist, making you look up at him. Your eyes flickered to his, and for a second, wondering what color they were behind his mask.
“You dont need to worry about me,” he said softly, his fingers coming to play with the hem of your crop top. Your skin tingled where his touch brushed you. "But... I like that you do."
His words hung in the air, and your pulse raced as his gaze dropped to you lips, then back to your eyes.
“We shouldn’t-” you started, but before you could finish, his hand slid up under the back of your shirt, his warm fingers sending tingles along their path.
“I know,” he whispered, but then he pushed you towards him, lips pressing softly against yours.
Your hand moved to the back of his neck, pulling him closer as the kiss deepened. You took a moment to orocess the fact that you were kissing a stranger. It coukd be anyone under that mask. The need to know clawed at you.
"Nightwing?" You asked.
"Yes trouble?" He wispered, lowering his lips to lay kissed down your neck.
You felt your cheeks warm as your shoulders rose. "D-do you do this often? Sleep with people you save?"
He grinned then, nipping your earlobe as his hand, covered in calluses and scars reached around you, pulling you onto his lap. Gasping, you could feel his hardness on your silk shorts.
"Only when they take such good care of me." He asnwered, grinding up against you, brushing your sensitive clit in the process. "You know, to return the favor."
You gasped and he repeated the movement a few more times, until you were riding him still separated by your layer of clothing.
"You're gonna open-" You wimpered when a particularly long brush of his Dick sent a powerful sensation down your core. "-Your stitches. This... this isn't a good idea."
"It's a good thin% that you're here to fix me up then, isn't it?" He challenged, an evil grin playing at his lips.
You moaned and shook your head, still trying to think logical. "It will hurt."
"It hurts more not being inside you now, trouble." He wispered- no, whined- as his lips brushed your ear. "Please, put me out of my misery."
His finger slipped under your shorts and between your folds. "Fuck!" He caught his lower lip between his teeth, the bit leaving a beautiful read mark on his gorgeous lips. "You're so wet, trouble."
Unable to look away from him, you whimpered as his fingers brushed your insides.
"I dont even know who you are," you wispered in disbelief, more so to yourself than to him. "I don't even know your name,"
A small, curious part of him wondered how you'd react if he pulled off his mask and presented you with the very same face that's been working with you this past week at the station. Your "good friend" detective Grayson.
"I'm no one," he said instead. "Come here, baby."
A minute later, his suit was discarded on your carpet, along with your pijamas, as the two of you gasped and writhe against each other on your couch. You were riding him, the feeling of him filling you up was extacy. And his view provided him with an image of you panting on top of him, red lips parted as your hair fell in messy stands around your face and shoulder. "Trouble," he moaned. "You're so fucking sexy. Oh my god."
"Thanks, you like... a seven." You joked, then squealed, arching your back as he rose and bit your collarbone, driving into you hard.
"For that," he growled, a wolfish grin playing on his lips as he eyed the new bite mark forming on your skin. "I'll keep you up all night."
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"Y/n?"
You looked up from your computer to see your co-worker standing nearby, balancing a cup of coffee and a stack of files. She offered you a shy smile.
"Detective Grayson from the station is here for you."
"Oh, thank you!" you replied, quickly standing and smoothing your skirt and blazer. Nearly tripping in your heels, you mentally scolded yourself for coming to work instead of calling in sick; you could’ve used more sleep.
At the front entrance, Dick waited in uniform, coffee in hand, his usual bright smile already in place.
"Good morning," you greeted him with as much energy as you could manage.
"Morning," he replied, grinning. You couldn’t help but wonder what he put in his coffee to always look so chipper.
He held up a folder. "Here are the autopsy reports you asked for."
Your eyes lit up. "You got them? Amazing!" Taking the folder, you looked up at him gratefully. "Thanks, Dick."
"Happy to help," he said, dimples appearing as he smiled down at you. "I’ve got to get back, but let me know how the case goes, yeah?" He turned toward the elevator, giving you a casual wave.
"I will! Have a great day!"
As you watched him leave, someone cleared their throat behind you. Turning around, you found Lily standing there, a slightly nervous expression on her face.
"Hey," you said slowly. "Is everything okay?"
Saying nothing, she took your arm gently and lifted her phone, angling the camera so you could see yourself in selfie mode.
Your hand shot to your mouth in shock.
Clear as day, a bite mark peeked out from your collarbone. "Oh god."
You felt your face heat up as realization hit. How many people had already seen that? And oh god! Dick definitely saw it too!
Meanwhile, in the elevator, Dick allowed himself a small, satisfied grin.
339 notes · View notes
yappacadaver · 2 days ago
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Crazy wild shit man
#how are we straight up accepting the emmrich romance lich choice for how it’s written#does anyone feel me#hello???#no one else can see the inherent tragedy in this?#maybe I’m too mort ass pilled but um. trading away your life to escape death is no life at all#and why can’t rook be like. you killed yourself and took yourself away from me and now you have no skin for me to caress and no warmth for#me to share and though it’s still your consciousness you’ve a) gained a perspective I can never ever share and b) you have accepted#outliving me so thoroughly that I will be just a drop in the bucket of your life even if I get another good 50 years out of life.#why can’t I ask him is all this worth it without your heart????!??#why can’t I break it off?!!!???#why do I HAVE to celebrate this choice#emmrich volkarin#dav spoilers#and that’s not even getting into the philosophical questions surrounding fear and what it means to live like.#emmrich… has ocd. and I have no doubt that those fears are truly debilitating (despite this almost never coming up in the narrative)#and essentially this choice is one about how to deal with it. acceptance vs avoidance. and we see no consequences for either!!!#if he chooses to accept this fear as a part of him and work through it WE SHOULD SEE THAT WORK#he should struggle!! and that struggle should lead him towards making peace with that fear#AND!!#if he chooses to escape from that fear— to actively avoid ever resolving it— we should see him struggle with that too!!!!#molding your entire existence around this fear to the point you embody it… where are the emotional consequences for that!?#WHY DO I— AS SOMEONE WHO SUPPOSEDLY LOVES HIM— NOT GET ANY OPPORTUNITY TO PUSH BACK OR ASK SOME TOUGH QUESTIONS?!?#in a game about the tyranny of immortality… we can send our beloved to kill his mortal self to come back as an immortal husk.#and we’re not even allowed to be sad abt it the very next scene is some goofy cartoon shit at the lighthouse where every single person just#immediately accepts this reality and has no issues. not even taash 😭
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maul-of-shame · 12 hours ago
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I think a lot of people are forgetting that Elrond and Galadriel didn't read LOTR and aren't aware they're going to be in laws. They don't have the 4th wall powers that we, the audience do. As far as either of them are concerned, Cborn is dead and given that Galadriel placed a higher priority on hunting Sauron than returning to him (assuming she believes that he's in Valinor), Elrond is takes the role Cborn would have had. I hope we see more Elrond and Galadriel moments in season 3 😊
They've both been through the same shit, they GET each other, and there's no 'expectation' attached to their relationship, and that is liberating when it comes to healing each other's trauma.
Absolutely, this point is spot-on!
Elrond and Galadriel's connection exists on an entirely unique plane where no one, especially not us as the audience, can dictate how their bond should look or evolve.
These two are free from the expectations or constraints of what’s “supposed” to happen based on outside knowledge. They certainly don’t see their future relationship as in-laws as a given, so their relationship is genuinely theirs to explore.
Their chemistry feels so deep and genuine precisely because it isn’t bound by any traditional family role or societal expectation.
Both Elrond and Galadriel have lived through millennia of war, loss, and hard choices, and they’ve developed a bond built on shared experiences, genuine understanding, and respect. Elrond gets Galadriel’s drive, her sacrifices, and the toll they take, while Galadriel recognizes his wisdom, patience, and loyalty. It’s rare to see characters who don’t need to explain their trauma because the other person just knows—they’ve been through the same fires.
And what makes this relationship even more intriguing is the lack of obligation or label tied to it.
There’s a liberating effect here: both of them are healing and supporting each other in ways that go beyond friendship or family ties. When they come together, it’s like two souls unburdened by destiny but bound by choice. Each moment between them is open to interpretation and possibility, and that freedom feels refreshing and real.
For Elrond, his connection with Galadriel feels like the home he never really had in the ways that matter most. Through his life, he's often been in roles of service and loyalty—to his family, to Gil-galad, to his people—but with Galadriel, he doesn’t need to be the wise, steady counselor or the responsible guardian. He can let his own vulnerabilities show, unafraid of being judged or misunderstood. In Galadriel, he sees a person who recognizes his struggles and his sacrifices without him having to speak a word, and who knows the gravity of loss in the way only someone who’s carried that burden for centuries can.
And for Galadriel, Elrond is a refuge she never expected but always needed. As much as she’s a warrior, a leader, and a force of nature, she’s also a person with deep wounds. With Elrond, she’s able to lay down her armor, put down her sword and shield, trusting him with the side of herself that’s tired, uncertain, and still healing. There’s a comfort in being with someone who doesn't require her to be constantly unbreakable. Instead of being another soldier in her battle, Elrond stands beside her as a partner, a friend, and a kindred soul.
They share this understanding, a bond that’s impossible to reduce to labels or roles. Each look, every moment between them, is layered with the kind of depth that goes beyond words—They're two people who simply get each other. Their relationship isn’t defined by duty or shaped by societal roles; it’s something they’ve chosen to build together. And perhaps that’s what makes it so liberating: their connection is entirely theirs, shaped only by the mutual respect, trust, love, and affection they’ve cultivated over time.
In a world where they both carry the heavy weight of their respective roles, this bond is like a breath of fresh air, a reminder that they don’t have to be alone in their struggles.
They’re not defined by destiny or forced together by obligation; they’re here because they choose each other.
Over and over again.
It’s a love and connection that doesn’t need words to define it or titles to legitimize it. It’s simply there, in every glance, every shared silence, and every act of unwavering support. And in a life full of responsibilities and ancient sorrows, that freedom is the truest form of peace.
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savage-rhi · 2 years ago
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🙌🏻
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lunarneo · 7 months ago
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Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Poor Neo- "Wait a Second...."
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lesbianfakir · 8 months ago
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Sorry for being so rambly today (and last night) I have thoughts so onto the blog they go
I feel like part of the joy of art is in community, like you create something and you get to talk about it and share it with the world. This year I lost touch with the friends who I would always talk about art with and I think that loss is heavily impacting my ability to create (and the enjoyment I get from it.) I miss having a new idea and getting to ramble about it excitedly. I miss texting people the sketches and the mock ups and the color palettes.
I got into art for me. I wouldn’t show anything I made to anyone for years. So I’m no stranger for creating for the target audience of myself. Still, I miss that sense of community. I love this blog and I absolutely adore the lovely comments you all leave on my art but sometimes it feels so one-sided on here. I post a piece, I receive a lovely tag back and that’s it. End of story. I spend hours and hours working on something and it kind of disappears into the void in a day or so.
Trying to put it into words, but I think I wish I could create art that starts a conversation. That inspires people to create their own things in response, or even just talk with me about process. I think the perfectionism has gotten out of hand lately because I feel like I’m missing something—which I attribute to the quality of the piece—but really what I’m missing is buddies to chat about art with. There is no level of being “good enough” that will serve as a substitute for a real community.
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ozymoron · 9 months ago
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reading posts that come across my dash and sitting for a minute to debate with my mental disorder if not reblogging this will mean a hell portal will open beneath my feet and i will suffer for eternity for my lack of action or if its all good and i can just scroll on by (its usually the hell portal thing)
#⚠️#personal#having ocd makes making moral decisions so fucking hard for no reason#cause ill see a post thats like info or seems important and like i can tell its that kind of post just by skimming it st first and somethin#clicks in my brain that just tells me if i dont share that post everyone will know and think im a horrible person#regardless of what the actual post is about#i need like a handbook on how to make proper moral decisions#cause like yeah i do care about things i try to share stuff about things i care about and believe are important but sometimes i dont have#the energy to read long as posts and my brain twists it to make it out that people will know and i am the bad guy#idk my ocds telling me even saying this makes me a bad person#the fact i even struggle with this#sometimes i think im not built for social media but really i think social medias not built for people like me#maybe i should get help for my ocd but the idea of describing all the shit going on in my brain to someone just makes me feel scared#cause like i dont know when to draw the line at making something a problem i should actively have a hand in helping#how much is too much when do i stop#<- in regards to my own mental health like the mental exhaustion that can come from it i hope this makes sense#like some things you gotta invest like emotional shit into and like sometimes im just tired and i come on here and im faced with one of#those posts and i just have to debate with myself what the fuck im supposed to do#this is more a me issue than anything i need to sort this shit out with some mental health professional or something#cause like i dont want to have people think i dont care about these things i do and ik pressing reblog takes like no energy but idk man#im not even sure if some of the shit i reblog is cause i care or is just an ocd compulsion#i feel like most times its both#i cant help but think im the problem here i want to be on social media its just so draining having my mind repeatedly hound me for not like#showing enough care (reblogging more posts) about a certain issue online#idk im so tired of it all im so tired of my mind i wish i didnt have ocd#vent#so funny right after i posted this i scrolled down and one of these posts was rigjt beneath it and the debate happens all over again#lord i need to get out of here
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campgender · 9 months ago
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legofemme · 9 months ago
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Vani writing tips + personal thoughts that noone asked for but you will be hearing
1: longer is Not always better. If youre telling a story, then your audience doesnt need 3 pages worth of side material. If youre writing to genuinely draw in an audience and tell a story then you need to not treat it like a game where the goal is to get the highest wordcount possible. You should be treating yourself And your audience with respect and making sure the words you use make an impact rather than trying to fill empty space. Brevity is your friend
2: if you need to make a clarification that your work doesnt endorse what your protagonist is doing, or needs to clarify that the protagonist is a Bad Person, then youre not mature enough to be writing that material. At best it shows that you dont understand the nuances of writing villain protagonists, and at worst it looks like you think your audience is too stupid to understand that saying slurs is a bad thing.
3: you cannot attempt to break the rules of writing if you dont understand them in the first place. You arent douglas adams. You arent Mark Danielewski. You need to stop and learn how to use a semicolon and a hyphen and how different words help describe things before you try to make a thousand word 'stray from traditional storytelling' . At the very least learn the basics from a youtube video
4: YOU NEED TO LEARN HOW TO WRITE DIALOGUE EVEN IF ITS BAD. You cannot dodge around dialogue by just having back and forth phrases in quotation marks. And no marker you use to differentiate speakers is going to be anywhere close to just using "he said" or even "he yelled". Youre robbing yourself of crucial storytelling materials. Even if you dont want to learn every part of how to write you Need to learn how to do dialogue or your entire story is going to crumble
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phagodyke · 4 months ago
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yeah I'm not gonna talk abt it am I...
#well thats okay. eventually itll come up naturally. and if not well. it doesnt make me feel very okay. but its not a big deal#and i guess ill meet ppl in the future who will curate a different idea of me and maybe therell be fewer misunderstandings#<- coward who CAN communicate to save their life but not in any lower stakes situation for their happiness n quality of life#we <3 repression n insecurity. maybe if i keep digging at the corner of this bit of the labyrinth with my spoon ill get out someday 😌#anyway.. theres my daily vague vent post got it out of my system#wanted to do it earlier but ended up not having much time after work n then called friends which was nice :^)#also i never have signal at work these days.. my boss has said shell get me on the staff wifi tho cuz i do need it for work reasons#its rare to need it for work purposes bc we all use work pcs n stuff anyway and not rly supposed to use mobiles in the lab#but yeahh.. god i have so much admin shit to sort out also gotta text family back before i sleep i forgot to earlier#its all good.. also my memory foam pillows turned up so i no longer have to steal my roomies extra one for my neck pain <3#ik she was missing it... not to sound like a creep but it was nice that it smelled like her a little. just familiar innit#we're always around each other so its just what being home smells like to me.. listen i have a sensitive nose 😔✋️#if we were a lot closer i would ask if i could sleep in her bed while shes away but we're not so it would come across sooo weird..#and i would feel rly weird abt someone sleeping in my own room without me there. well maybe not actually. as long as they werent snooping#<- guy whose mother used to go thru their shit all the time n struggles to not feel paranoid and distrustful when it comes to privacy#was thinking recently my ideal living situation w a partner would be separate rooms but we still share the bed sometimes#but not every night bc im a sensitive sleeper... but we can switch bedding so i can still smell them if i wake up in the night alone#like how new mothers trying to get babies used to cot sleeping each have a cloth or blanket and swap every night#so the baby is comforted by the blankets smell and sleeps more peacefully.. and momma finds it easier being apart from the baby too#sorry this is getting gooey and weird my meds have been wearing off the last couple hours im so sleeppyyyy 😭#well.... maybe everything can wait until tomorrow..... bed is calling..#goodnight everyone muah#.diaries
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tiddyghostposting · 2 months ago
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Twink Vulpes Inculta discourse is lame. I need people to start making him a weird psychosexual FREAK just for me.
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Yeah, you should only create for yourself, but if I'm putting it out there I would like to know that I'm not just endlessly shouting into the void
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queernobi · 2 years ago
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Saw a tweet from someone celebrating the fact Lady Dimitrescu was apparently confirmed to be a lesbian (great news, if a bit obvious to any queer person ever with or without confirmation), and the OP immediately followed it up by gloating over the fact Dimitrescu "wasn't even a little bisexual," but "fully lesbian," and like.
Not to be That Person, but it is weird how much some cis gay/lesbian folk really just revel in not having any other identity represented except for their own. Some of y'all will literally GLOAT about it.
Like it can't just be, "Oh, it's so cool that Lady Dimitrescu is a lesbian, that's so awesome!" It has to be, "Oh, Lady Dimitrescu is a lesbian AND SHE'S NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT BISEXUAL!!!! NOT EVEN A LITTLE!!!!!! SO HAPPY SHE IS NOT BISEXUAL *AT ALL*, SHE IS TOTALLY 100% LESBIAN!!!!!!"
Some of you must realize how fucking weird and spiteful that is, right?
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wavesoutbeingtossed · 6 months ago
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#warning: rant about parent ahead#I’m so so so so so empathetic to mental health struggles#like exceedingly so#but it’s just so exhausting being on the receiving end of someone’s self-loathing#and to be clear I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT ANYONE HERE#you are all my phone besties and I have so much empathy for your struggles and know that i love you all#and wish i could say the right thing to support you all always and you are always welcome to share whatever is going on#and to quote the bard herself i wish i could take the bombs in your head and disarm them#but when my mother gets into these moods she just seems to use it as a way to get a rise out of us#she’s pulling the ‘well maybe you don’t want to do x with me because it’s not fun because I’m a terrible person and you’re scared of me#and i ruin everything so maybe you would just rather i do everything alone’#and i don’t doubt she feels horrible and i know she has intrusive thoughts etc#but that is so manipulative!!!! she then puts the onus on us to reassure her that she is not!!!! But that is not what she wants!!!!#which we then do profusely and remind her that we do love her and we do do things together and whatever the fuck is the problem of the day#but of course she won’t hear it#so yes it makes us scared of her because we are always worried we’re going to say the wrong thing in a given moment!!!!#i just shut the fuck up at all times now#but my dad tries to use reason with her and of course it just ends in her lashing out and projecting all this shit on him#’oh you maybe you actually hate me maybe you want to leave me’ etc#THEY’VE BEEN MARRIED DECADES HE’S THE MOST LOYAL AND KINDEST PERSON IN THE WORLD HE NEVER ONCE HAS#i honestly don’t know how he lets this roll off his back because i am so fed up with it#It’s just so so so so hard because one minute she’s ‘herself’ and the other she’s this inferno#and we just have to ride whatever wave she’s on and it sucks all the air out of the room#it’s like the one and only time i tried to very gently bring up that something she said was hurtful *after she’d brought it up herself*#she went on a ‘oh I’m a terrible person/terrible parent’ rant and it then turned into me reassuring her that she isn’t#i was just trying to show her how the language/behaviour she uses was hurtful to me#so anyway that was lesson learned that even if she invites it i will never speak of it and luckily she hasn’t since and that was years ago#But it’s just… i know bad thoughts can’t be helped and again i feel so much pain on her behalf for what she struggles with#and i wish i could help but there’s absolutely nothing i can do#AND SHE’S GONE OFF ALL HER MEDS SO THE ONE SOURCE SHE DID HAVE ISN’T THERE ANYMORE EITHER
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lordiavolo · 2 years ago
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to be like frank here, redemption is an ever going cycle. when youve been the problem, the toxic ex, the abuser, you have to know you will have to apologize for that for the rest of your life. you will always have to live with the guilt and conscience of knowing how you hurt that person, or mutliple people. and you have to constantly CHOOSE to not repeat that behavior, and its not easy.
when you meet a new friend the topic of who you used to be will come up eventually, and if you have changed youll be honest with who you were. you cant run from it. you cant try to round the corners and make it seem like the other persons fault, or like it wasnt as bad as it was. its really really scary. because everytime you open up about it, its not just the wound of guilt but its also the fear that theyre going to look inside and not like what theyll see.
but you have to keep moving on and you have to keep being honest. and you have to remember that everyone is applicaple for redemption, you just have to work for it and admitting you were wrong with no buts is the first step.
#anyways cna u tell im kinda going thru it LOL#ive always been a toxic person thats why ive sort of secluded myself from society i avoid human contact w non household members as much as#possible bcuz i feel honestly like im a ticking time bomb that just hurts everything i touch#i dont think its fair to have to have someone deal w my shit when its such an emotional turmoil so even though i want friends im making my#peace w the fact that i like honestl dont really deserve rhem? ik this seems MOPEY but its like this is my geniune non like baiting thoughts#i was an abuser in high school and in an abusive relationship where for the first half i was the perpetrator. i hit my ex and u know i dont#even have anything to add to it other than it was fucked up. i was selfish in bed and sex addicted and sometimes did anything for my fix.#i will and cannot lie about my past as being a shitty person. its scary to say and post but i have to be honest thats who i was that IS a#part of my history as much as i wish i could i cannot erase.#i dont rly even know what to add here honestly. just watching mias vid got me thinking u know#there is more to this story ofc the same ex i was abusive to was also abusive to me it was just split into segments. like i was the problem#for the first year and a half then it switched to them but its not rly rhe best place 2 share that story when im talking about my mistakes#im not trying to detract here i just want 2 get this shit off my chest again. ive talked about it before but not since remaking a few times#anyways i dont have any excuses well i mean i can pull a bunch out but im not going to cuz at the end of the day i shouldve known better#than to be a bitch when i knew i was being a bitch u know?#being the bad guy is a constant struggle where u will have to really really fucking fight yourself tooth and nail to change and i want to be#that person. i want to be someone who can be 100% honest about how shit i was to myself and others (which i do already do to my friends)#hopefully this makes sense idk anyways if ur struggling with being abusive or toxic im here for u. u can get through this and you can be a#good person it is within ur hands i promise u#ok love u goodnight#personal
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thewhizzyhead · 10 months ago
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you know when you get a friend that was even more "tomboyish" than you were in your teens and then as the both of you grow up and enter college, you see them explore expressing themselves more femininely and absolutely fall in love with it and with the concept of womanhood - while you on the other hand become all the more estranged with "being a woman" because good God you really don't fucking get it and that seeing your once-tomboyish friend find joy and an emotional connection to womanhood makes you really realize that you have no such connection whatsoever, hence making you feel left behind in actually "becoming a woman"? Anyways what I'm trying to say here is I'm definitely not fucking cis-
#when i told my cis girl classmates that i feel nothing but indifference towards the concept of womanhood or girlhood#they felt really fuckin sorry for me#and i'm like my bros my dudes i dont really give that much of a fuck for something i don't really understand in the first place#like of course i know feminist theory and all that and as someone born a woman i know and experience and study gender struggles deeply#be it with double standards or dealing with gross perverted dudes#that being said - i dont know what being a woman is outside of our shared struggle in patriarchal structures#like when u take away all the shit we definitely need to fight for - what else is there left for me to enjoy on a personal level#and the answer to that is nothing because i never really gave a fuck about gender be it now or as a child#perhaps its due to my upbringing as well na like i was more responsibility minded but still#to see once really tomboyish classmates grow to love being a woman makes me feel lonely because how can i love a concept i cant comprehend#so anyways when i told this dilemma to a nonbinary-questioning friend of mine he jumped with joy because BESTIE SOLIDARITY#and my bro here was never female to begin with and yet he fully understood my disconnect to concepts of gender#and the coming of age rites that come with them like 'nagiging dalaga na talaga' 'ay nagbibinatilyo na to'#so um yea#thats my ramvle for today and my update on my gender crisis#i dont mind being called a woman tho like im used to it and it doesnt unnerve me - but id rather not be like trapped in having to be that#so um woo#personal shit
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