#and as a korean i will say korean guys are...much less...progressive than american men

[tarohonii]

sometimes I just want to tell the delusional kpop fans that they need to know that their faves is literally just Every Man Ever who probably thinks they're The Shit and has undiagnosed and unmedicated and unacknowledged mental illnesses who is just another commercialized carbon copy husk of a person that the industry manufactures over and over again to make you fall in love with just so they benefit from it

[minyoonsgirl]

Nabi - The Girl without a Name

Summary:You have no memories of your past, all you know is fear as you push your battered body to run faster as you try to escape those who pursue you. Who would have thought that room 205 would hold the key  to seven men who would become your protectors. Who knew that it would lead you to uncovering your past and finding that your savior had already come to your rescue so many times before. 

Genre: eventual Fluff, eventual Smut, eventual OT7 x reader

Warnings: Amnesia, themes of fear, implied kidnapping and adult themes. Things will probably be a lot more intense as this story goes on. 

Word Count: 1,329

a/n: Hello lovelies  ♡ This is chapter one of my yoongi x reader fic. While it will focus on Yoongi at first it will most likely progress to OT7 x Reader ♡ Anyway, I hope you enjoy ♡

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Chapter One - The Girl with no Past 

Running down the hall, your breath catches in your throat as the heel breaks on one of your shoes. It sends you tumbling to the floor. The skin on your knees screaming as it slams into the hard floor, the carpeting tearing at you. You whimper but try your best not to make too much noise. 

You don’t know where you are, or how you got there. One thing is for sure, the guys chasing you? They’re bad news. You have no memory of coming to this place, or even who you are or what these men are to you but your mind is screaming to get away. You push yourself back up on your feet, your ankle and ribs protesting angrily. You feel swollen and tight in all the wrong places, you know your ribs are broken, but the ankle must only be sprained because, even though it feels like stepping on shattered glass, you can still walk.

The hallway is lined with doors, and while everything is screaming at you to run, you stop in front of 205 and pray to whoever is listening that someone might answer. You know you won’t make it much further, and that the men after you can’t be far behind. So you knock, as loud as you can while trying not to draw attention to yourself. But the three raps of your fist on a door have never sounded so loud. 

You can feel the panic bubbling up inside of you, but before you turn to rush on you hear a lock turning and suddenly the door is open and you’re  being pulled into the room, the door shutting and locking behind you. You stumble in the entryway, falling to your butt when you put too much weight on your ruined ankle. You look around, notice the bed and tv and realize you’re in a hotel. You hear the men rushing down the hall now, their steps loud and rushed, a hand presses gently to your lips. A boy with dark brown hair, and dark eyes presses a finger to his lips, asking you not to make a noise.

You don’t have the energy to even try to explain that you have no voice left, no energy to scream. The boy looks you over, wincing as he takes in the bruises that mar your skin, the malnourished form under the satin dress, and the hair that is dull and lifeless. But it’s your eyes that hurt him most, they are empty and emotionless. He wonders what could have happened to you to make you look so dead inside. You feel your lips tremble but clench your fists. You won’t cry here. It’s not safe, yet. 

A knock sounds at the door and your breathing becomes more rushed, hysterical wheezing and the boy is ushering you into a bathroom before returning to the door. You sit on the floor by the tub, listening to the other side.

“Can I help you?” You hear the boy speak and it’s a deep and slurred timbre that makes you feel weak inside. He looks and sounds so familiar but you don’t even know your own name, much less that of a random man. 

“Sir, sorry to bother you but a girl is missing. She’s our sister. Have you seen her?” Another voice that stirs recognition in you but there is no safety in that voice, only a deep fear that has you hugging your knees and tears streaming silently down your face.

“This is a private floor, there are certainly no girls here.” The boy responds and you can sense the irritation in his voice, irritation that is growing by the moment as the boy asks the men to leave. When they refuse and ask to search the room you feel as though your heart might pound out of your chest. 

“If you don’t leave I will call the police. I have security here, they can be here in a moment. You shouldn’t even have access to this floor.” The boy repeats, his anger growing rapidly. You hope it’s enough. Apparently it is because the men leave moments later. You feel like maybe you can breathe again. 

The bathroom door opens and you scramble further against the tub, afraid for a moment that you’d been tricked but it’s just the boy. Staring at you before easing down to his knees, he speaks in a whisper,

“It’s okay. They’re gone. What’s your name?” He asks and you clench your fists.

“I don’t know.” You say quietly, and your stomach twists. You don’t know who you are and that is more terrifying than the men looking for you.

“I’m going to call my security team, okay? You’re really hurt and we need to get you to a doctor.” The boy responds, reaching for you carefully, you take his outstretched hand, and marvel at the softness of his skin. He pulls you gingerly to your feet but you put too much weight on your ankle, stumbling into him, a choked whine escaping from your throat.

“I’m going to pick you up okay? You can’t walk on that.” The boy whispers and you nod quickly. He scoops you up into his arms, and you hiss when he jostles your ribs, 

“I’m sorry. I know it hurts, I’ll be quick.” The boy says as he rushes out of the bathroom and places you softly on the bed. He shrugs out of his jacket and wraps it around you, pulling the covers up and over your shoulders. You tremble and realize you’re freezing, you huddle under the blankets, pulling your knees to your chest, you sit quietly while he makes a few phone calls.

“Yeah, I don’t know. She says she doesn’t know her name but Jin, she’s in bad shape.” The boy says quickly, you wonder who he’s talking to but your eyes are drifting shut, you lean yourself against the headboard. You tell yourself that you’re only going to close your eyes for a moment, to hopefully ease the pounding behind your temples. You feel the bed sink beside you and you jolt forward,

“I’m sorry, I’m not going to hurt you, I promise.” The boy says quietly, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. You bite your lip and look at your hands, your nails are cracked and bloody, your hands dirty. 

“My name’s Yoongi. Is there something I could call you?” Yoongi asks and you blink against the tears that are rapidly forming in your eyes. You shake your head nervously, 

“Do you mind if I think of something then?” he asks, laying across the bed and staring up at you. You nod that it’s fine and he stares up at you for a moment more, his eyes squinted carefully as he regards you. 

“I think I’ll call you “Nabi”... Ahh is that okay?” Yoongi blushes as you regard him with curious eyes.

“Butterfly?” You ask carefully, you know he’s been speaking two different languages and figure you should let him in on the fact that you speak them both too. You see his eyes widen in surprise.

“You know Korean?” He asks, his curiosity strengthening, just who were you?

“I guess. I’ve understood everything you’ve said so far.”  You respond, leaning forward with a wince. Yoongi wraps an arm around you to help you sit upright against the headboard, his head swimming.

“You also speak it fairly fluently, but I’m going to guess you’re american.” He replies, and you sigh, shrugging your shoulders, tears slowly falling from your eyes. 

“I don’t know.” You manage to choke out before you're consumed by the sobs slowly taking over your body. Yoongi sidles up next to you and wraps his arm around you. Fear still fills you as you know this apparent safety could be taken away at any moment. You had so many questions but the most important was just what the hell had happened to you?

Masterlist 

Ch. 2

[halfacat]

Thoughts on Crazy Rich Asians

Let me just say: IT’S ABOUT TIME ASIANS GOT THE SPOTLIGHT!!!! Holy hell, I’ve been waiting for this moment for the past eight years and dreaming of something like this happening for all my life. Asians are hot, Asians are cool, and Asians are worthy. 

With that said, I am hyped for Crazy Rich Asians. I am currently reading the book right now, and I’m having a lot of fun. It’s a dumb book, but it’s dumb in the best way possible: it’s luxurious, dramatic, emotional, and crazy, and I AM HERE FOR IT. It’s less than seven days until CRA hits theaters and already, the reviews are awesome (which, naturally, makes me tear up). And with the reviews coming in, so are the people who are not so excited for this movie...

1) According to Rotten Tomatoes, CRA is at 100% with 17 reviews. Obviously, this rating will fluctuate the more reviews that come in, but 100% with 17 reviews? This movie is looking BOMB. And yet, people are complaining about the rating: how obviously the movie has to be Fresh or else the critics will be deemed racist or how CRA is getting the same treatment as how Black Panther did. I have just one thing to say: Yes, this movie is about Asians and with an Asian cast, but can’t a movie be Fresh just because it’s a good movie? Why do we have to politicize everything? I get that the title is “Crazy Rich Asians” but it’s just a title! Should “Black Panther” just be Panther? It would’ve still done well in the box office regardless! Also, CRA is a rom-com so can’t we just enjoy it as it is?

2) ASIAN MEN! *heart eyes* Okay, but there has been controversy surrounding the casting of Nick Young. Why is Henry Golding, a hapa, playing Nick Young, a full ethnically Chinese character? Golding is half-white, and Hollywood has a knack for picking white characters for their lead roles. With a perfect opportunity to cast a hot Asian dude, why cast only half of one? I agree that the casting may not have been the best BUT just because Golding is half doesn’t mean we should discount his Asian heritage. Asian people are Asian, and some Asians are more “Asian” than other are, but that’s alright. Henry Golding is charming, cool, and hot, and I am confident that he will play an impeccable Nick Young. And honestly, if people aren’t ready for a full Asian love interest, then at least they can go halfway if that’s what it takes for them to understand that Asian men are hot as hell.

3) Asian representation! Asians in general have always been portrayed as weak, nerdy, smelly, and weird. We are constantly fetishized, hypersexualized or desexualized (no in-between), and seen as either sex objects or the laughing stock. Our facial features (specifically those of East Asians’) are always mocked. People don’t think Asians suffer from racism but we do. Unfortunately, we are seen as white people so the public is less inclined to care. We are always overlooked in entertainment (i.e. Doctor Strange, Ghost in the Shell, Aloha, etc, etc.) and when something good comes along that protray us as something else other than ninjas or geeks or ancient masters or sex toys, people have the gall to say to make fun of us STILL. For example: “CRA is racist! There are no white people!” By the racists’ logic, every movie that features little to no POC is considered racist...

4) But, where are the other Asians? Both the book and movie have been criticized for its lack of South and Southeast Asians, groups that are prevalent in Singapore, which is already a Southeast Asian country. CRA should be “Crazy Rich East Asians” because only East Asians are features. (By that logic, shouldn’t it be “Crazy Rich Ethnically Chinese”?) People are confused as to why the characters speak in British accents but are from Singapore...why not Singlish? I agree that there should have been more diversity in Asians (because we have problems with that already). HOWEVER, not to excuse the plot at all, but Kevin Kwan created a story about Chinese people in Singapore. He wasn’t obliged to write about the minorities, and that sucks, but who are we to tell him what to write about? Not everything can include everyonem and with CRA, it focuses on the Chinese elite that are very narrow minded - that is the point! Also, Kwan is writing about the crazy rich Asians, and already, that excludes much of the population in the world anyway. But yes, like I said before, I do wish more Asians were included, but for right now, I’m just so, so happy that Asians, specifically East Asians, are getting some real appreciation in the modern Western world. Like what Constance Wu tweeted, “I know CRA won’t represent every Asian American. So for those who don’t feel seen, I hope there is a story you find soon that does represent you.” Honestly though, how many Hollywood films can you say had an East Asian lead that wasn’t a stereotype? How many Hollywood films can you say even had East Asians in it that actually talked and did stuff? How many Hollywood films can you said has East Asian love interests? 

5) CRA is not the best Asian representation. It is Asian representation, and LOADS BETTER than the usual portrayals of Asians, but it’s not the best. I mean come on, pipe smoking moguls? Evil psychobitch mother-in-laws? CRA is basically a Korean drama. Am I complaining? Not really. I’ll be lying if I said I didn’t wish a different film was used to highlight Asians. Then I remind myself that CRA is a step. Not a huge step, but a step towards a more inclusive Hollywood. 

~~~

UPDATED 8/15/18:

6) The actresses are white-worshippers. Constance Wu has been seen with a white boyfriend, Gemma Chan has dated Jack Whitehall, and Michelle Yeoh is married to a Frenchman...these women are not Asian! Oh, but they are. Since when did our dating preferences decide whether we were more a race than not? If they really are white washed then sure, we can be wary. But Wu has always been an advocate for Asian rights and Yeoh is an Asian legend, and Chan isn’t tied down to her race either. Asian women have a bad reputation in the dating game and are seen as white-worshippers. This is true only for some Asian?Asian American women. I have seen and know more than fifty Asian and Asian American women who are either dating or engaged or married to Asian and Asian American men. Take that.

7) It’s just a rom-com but with Asian people...That’s the point! Since when has Hollywood ever casted an Asian man as the lead for a blockbuster? Since when were Asians seen as worthy of love, attention, and sexual attraction? Since when were Asians viewed as people with passions and emotions and desires? Crazy Rich Asians changes all of that. 

~~~ 

I’m relieved that we are finally getting the spotlight for once, and a spotlight in which people can laugh and swoon over. Besides for a select few Asian led films (i.e. Joy Luck Club), CRA is a milestone in Hollywood history. Sure, it may not be the best portrayal of Asians or be that inclusive for other Asians, but it’s progress, and we have to recognize that! Racists, let us have our moment. South and Southeast Asians, I know it’s all East Asians but I promise, CRA is a nod towards the right direction. Whatever your thoughts on this book or movie or casting or actors or wahtever, please set them aside because CRA happening and Hollywood allowing it to happen is just amazing. 

I’m so overwhelmed right now. I’m here for all this representation, and I know that CRA will pave the way for other POC to shine like how Black Panther did. Please go watch this movie, guys. We need to break box office records and show that Asians do matter. Let’s support! 

[fy-jungnicole]

[trans] 180617 - NICOLE full interview with ‘the star’ magazine june / july issue.

Q: it’s been so long, how have you been?

i’ve been quite busy, but it’s also been relaxing. it feels like i spent time for independent maturity. i traveled a lot; i went to japan, where i used to go for promotions, two or three times and i went to a backpacking trip to europe by myself.

Q: i’m curious about the ordinary daily life of girl jung yongjoo when she is not in front of a camera instead of NICOLE’s.

during my trip to europe, i realized a lot as i met and talked to various people. one was to take care of my body, so i eat mostly at home nowadays (to cook her own food). i made gomtang (korean soup dish) to kalgooksoo (korean noodles dish), and various korean food and italian food this year. this morning, i even woke up early to eat and cook meat. sometimes, i plan my meal for the week beforehand.

Q: is cooking your hobby?

yes, it started with baking, then korean food, and now italian food is fun (to cook). i want to try making them all. gomtang is the best dish i made! i tried it just once but even i admit that it was great. people that ate it also said, “it was really good!” i have fun inviting guests over and serving them food. i get energy from that sort of hangouts.

Q: i’ve been watching and i’m surprised by your figure. please share your secrets.

(my figure) has been okay up until last week but i ate way too much this week so it’s whatever now (laugh). I like to work out so i do pilates three times a week. i take a walk with my dogs at least 30 minutes every day.

Q: there are many fans who are curious because there hasn’t been a solo NICOLE album since the one in 2014.

i’m always thinking of a good time for a comeback. i think the image people usually associate with NICOLE is healthy and cute/bright sexy, so i think summer would be fitting. i want to try many songs. the kind of music that women can relate to and men would think, “NICOLE has that kind of charm”. i think it would come out next year but I’m not sure.

Q: where do you usually get your musical inspirations?

i look up many foreign artists. i like camila cabello and ariana grande’s music. i also like the voice of kehlani. i also have a strong ‘dance’ image so i tend to pursue pop music. but i like to listen to soulful country music, like from the artist tori kelly.

Q: i’m curious about NICOLE’s music that will be coming. what kind of story do you want to tell through your lyrics?

the side of a confident woman. i want to portray an energetic charm.

Q: you are from an idol group, what is the best part about being out of it?

it’s that my opinions get reflected a lot. i also feel the pressure because that means i am responsible. but i like being able to do things i want to try.

Q: on the contrary, when do you miss being an idol?

it’s less lonely, and it was good that i got breaks. for example, i had no breaks and had to keep on with the photoshoot today since i’m all by myself. when i was with my members, even if the wait time got dull, it was good because i got to rest for a bit. during that time, i would just chat, and 30 minutes to an hour would zoom by.

Q: there are many solo female artists nowadays, who’s the person that catches your eye?

chungha. from singing to mannerisms on stage, i think she is very good. she also seems relaxed. whenever i see staff members around me, i end up complimenting chungha. and I like to dance so seeing other artists who can dance well makes me happy (laugh).

Q: is there a hoobae idol group that gets your interest?

bts. they debuted when i was promoting as KARA. i thought they were cool back then as well. it was amazing to see them on the ellen degeneres show and billboard (music awards), which are shows i always watch when i’m in the states. it was cool to see them grow to become the hottest (group). i’ve been hooked to the song ‘anpanman’ from their recent album.

Q: i’m curious if you still keep in touch with KARA members.

of course, we constantly do. it was KARA’s 11th anniversary recently. it was weird that so much time has passed by already. time moves on too fast. it is starting to feel more so since this year. when we promoted as a group, gyuri and seungyeon unnies would always say “we are too tired” when we were dancing, and i thought, “they can’t be that tired”. but now i understand them. i’m sorry to the unnies (laugh). to think, “why couldn’t i understand how tired and exhausted the unnies were before,” i feel sorry.

Q: do you guys meet up often?

i see jiyoung when i go to japan. due to everybody’s schedules, we can’t meet up as much as we keep in contact.

Q: when you guys meet up, what do you guys usually talk about?

we talk about the old days, which means that time has passed a lot. we also talk much about the future, and about our work.

Q: if KARA gets together again, what kind of music do you want to present?

i think KARA’s image was associated with healthy energy. i want to showcase that kind of bright/cheerful music butiI also want to do the opposite, ballads. i want to gift the fans with a song that carries the message i wish to tell them. a while ago, i listened to an older song (of KARA) and i got emotional.

Q: what is NICOLE’s goal as a singer?

i want to showcase a NICOLE-esque stage. looking back, i had many inexperienced moments during my first solo. how do i say it, i was very anxious. but for my next album i want to show off a more natural side of me. it’s kind of funny to say that i have aged but you can’t ignore the fact that much time has passed so i became more relaxed. for my next album, i just hope not to feel small next to other artists (laugh). i want to pursue music that gives off energy and showcases my strong suits.

Q: other industry you want to try other than being an artist?

i didn’t have that much interest in acting before but these days i think it would be fun. i am a bit worried due to my korean accent. or it would be fun to go for a certificate test in whatever field.

Q: you got attention from variety shows, is there one you want to do?

instead of talk shows, i think variety shows that are more physical/active fits well with me. after going on a trip to europe by myself, i see the world a bit differently now. i used to have a personality that was like, if things didn’t go the way i planned, i couldn’t deal with it. but i am more at ease now. i feel like i got out of some kind of a pressure. i think i would be good in a travel related variety show.

Q: it’s been 11 years since your debut, you must have had some tough times, but what kept you driving to keep on working (as a celebrity)?

even though there were hard times, this occupation fits me well. I enjoy hard work. i also have fun with the progress i make with performances and such.

Q: three most memorable moments after your debut?

it’s hard to pick just 3. i remember when we performed at tokyo dome and the japan tour. i like to take pictures so i have many photos of the members and the staff. i have all their embarrassing/funny photos (laugh). for example, when we were on a diet, we ate cucumbers with mayo and ssamjang? (laugh) oh, and unnies (gyulham) would always go home after completing a schedule because they were too tired. but hara, jiyoung, and i, us three, would go get massages and hang out. i think i have a huge heart for memories and jung.

(ssamjang= mix of gochujang and Korean miso, so it’s a very strange food combo with mayo jung= there really isn’t a good English word for this but it’s like affection, feeling of attachment, and friendliness)

Q: what troubles you or what do you think about the most these days?

the thought that ‘i’m already in my late 20s’. it’s probably because i’m in my late 20’s even with the american age. time passes too fast. maybe it’s because spring was so short? it’s already summer.

Q: do you get lonely?

a lot. i was getting groceries by myself recently and my friend sent me a text message asking, ‘are you not lonely’. i got lonely immediately from that text. when that happens, i invite people and cook them food and talk together. or i read a lot. it makes me ease up.

Q: please leave a message to the fans who are waiting for you to make a comeback

i am sorry to my fans for not being able to promote continuously. one by one, I’m preparing to meet with you guys so please wait for me. i have matured over time, and i feel confident in showcasing the better side of me.

Q: lastly, what is NICOLE’s version of a happy life?

to feel calm. when I’m anxious i get negative thoughts so i want a steady life. i want to be always happy.

translation by: fansy88 // please, take out with full credits.

[violetsystems]

#personal

When people wonder how long I’ve spent being ignored down here like everybody else it’s nothing compared to how long I’ve held the same job.  Truly one of the things I’ve been most successful with in proving consistency has been my work ethic.  It helps that it returns financial compensation and benefits not that any of that impresses anyone these days.  I say that work is work a lot and leave it at that.  It is important to note I work in an extremely liberal environment.  I don’t mind being inclusive in fact I think it’s more rewarding in the long run.  You expect that respecting people’s right to be will create an atmosphere that encourages you to do the same.  This is the Utopian vision of liberal America that always has it’s heart in the right place but fumbles upon execution.  Mainly because accepting people in America seems to be largely an egocentric experience.  We the people.  Wait who are we all again really?  It’s true I don’t really feel much in line with extreme politics on either side these days.  I spent years soul searching after making dance music on how to do something more important.  I volunteered for a Korean American Festival for three years back in 2011 through 2013.  That imploded in such a Tarantino-esque way like everything else in my life.  People come together and power struggles emerge out of the vacuum.   Around 2013 I worked with a collective of mostly women from my school in a project called Collective Cleaners.  It was a project about cleaning and the value of human labor.  I learned how to weave rags from old bedsheets.  We did a year long show at Jane Addams Hull House at UIC.  I could go on and on right.   But it seems like I’m telling a joke about my life with no actual punchline.  Like I’m mockumentary in the flesh.  Here I am still out here ambiguous proving myself to some phantom army.  And here I am still not good enough for America staring it in the face.  After all this my life is still a fucking joke to people in the worst and most hurtful way.  It becomes exhausting to remind people you have acted on solutions to these modern problems.  Nobody cares about me and what I do about it year after year.  Trust me I get that part by now.  That’s what it seemed like for awhile.  And then I had the painful realization that the work never stops.  And it seems like I’m all alone doing all the work.  To be truthful a lot of the work and expectations follow me around after I leave my day job.  On my lunch break I had to break up a fight between a white christian woman and a fake monk on Michigan before it happened.  The woman came running down the street making a sign of the cross with her fingers.  I stepped in front of her and calmly asked her what the fuck she was doing.  She ran away in opposite direction.  Where’s my comic book Marvel?  

For all the things I’ve done I’m still just as mistrusted and questionable in the eyes of the social elite.  I’m never quite good enough.  Never quite valid enough to prove I’m just as just viable as a closet misogynist with a six figure salary.  I’ve been questionable for years only to realize that nobody has any answers for me on how to be otherwise without being me.  Other than me.  And so in the end only I really know how successful this has all been.  And only I know when it’s appropriate to stay the course or give up entirely.  I haven’t given up.  That’s self confidence talking.  And sometimes you have to lead yourself forward towards some sort of progress through the hazy chaos.  I spent an entire year answering political calls and surveys out of guilt.  Mostly due to what I would hear from my peers about the intrinsic value of being politically aware and woke in the arts.  When it comes to American politics I do participate at bare minimum in voting.  One robocall asked my political leanings.  I said left.  “So I’ll mark you down as progressive.”  I didn’t know how I felt about it at the time.  Progressive in Illinois is a strange beast.  We elected a billionaire for Governor and a lawyer for Mayor.  At surface level that sounds horrible and I guess the more you dig into Chicago and Illinois politics you’d find the same shit.  You need money in America to have a say in politics regardless of how many free speech arguments you win on the Internet.  You can of course vote and it would be remiss to say I haven’t seen progress in that.  As of January we have recreational Marijuana and abortion legal across the state.  I have seen the drug war up close and personal.  It sounds like I’m a vice news reporter.  I’ve probably nudged up against them too in the field but they pretend I don’t exist.  Maybe that’s a parable of the drug war and the media industrial complex.  Maybe shit was lame.  All I know is through a series of miracles in the democratic process smoking weed in Chicago isn’t as dangerous to your personal freedom as it used to be.  Making friends in public still is.  Welcome to snitchville.  Whereas New York is up close but never personal Chicago is your best friend and your arch enemy at the same time.  Progressive politics signifies that things move on, evolve and change.  I’ve read enough news feeds to understand the Governor made whatever possible by crossing the aisles.  Which can be read as compromise.  That’s government.  I’m a private citizen in America.  Or so one would think.  There’s endless commentary about how people like me don’t do enough.  Americans love to talk all day about privacy and talk can be cheap.  Facing the realities of a growing surveillance state that likes to masquerade as the land of the free is troubling.  So can facing the reality your favorite punk rock festival is using public space for profit in under served neighborhoods.  I’m more concerned about white dad rock masquerading as punk.  But insecure men would rather lash out at the me too movement than rock the boat.  You pick your battles right?  Generally when I’ve been the one to stand up to things it’s been about not moving backwards in terms of progressive beliefs.  I believe in a woman’s right to choose.  I got targeted on the street all summer because of it by Christians who thought it was ok to bring it to my face.  I didn’t get a medal and I sure as fuck didn’t really get a pat on the back.  I still have my secret support systems but I don’t have the luxury any more of hiding from who I am and what I believe.  I often stand by myself and what I believe and suffer for it.  Or worse it gets hijacked, misunderstood, and misrepresented by someone’s interpretation of what I’m trying to say.  And I sit here every Saturday morning wondering if I’ve made any progress in being happy at all.  

After failing so much in everything you get a little tired of falling for the same old tricks.  The personal is the most political you can be and I have years of resistance to draw from.  Nobody ever wants me to be me even after all the passionate posts on the internet about what I believe.  It goes nowhere.  There are people who do understand and people I trust.  But the reality in America is that is few and far between in public space.  The propaganda that we’re all free is largely based on some huge stipulations.  Money is one of them.  I work for a non profit.  You can do the math.  It feels like everything that the Left wanted me to be based on critique is largely ignored unless I have my wallet out.  And even then I’ve been happier being less liberal with my money in places where it isn’t respected.  I guess I could run away to Hong Kong and start over.  The irony of that is pretty funny right now.  I haven’t talked to that side of the family in a while since I’ve been off Facebook.  I haven’t left the country since I came back from China, Korea and Japan by myself since the first summit between Moon Jae-in and the other guy.  I don’t know that I feel very safe leaving the country.  I don’t feel very safe leaving my house these days.  So do I shrivel up and waste away hoping somebody will save me.  What have I done to deserve all this I’m not sure.  I’ve spent over three years clocking in hundreds of miles running around desolate and abandoned areas of Chicago.  What am I really afraid of at this point?  Dying alone and forgotten?  I feel dead inside already every day.  I have no hope any of this will change no matter how much we sit and argue about it.  Nobody does anything.  Nobody is out there with me other than the people close to my heart.  Nobody invites me to a special club other than me at my kitchen table on a Saturday morning.  For all the good I’ve done I’m still the first person to scapegoat as ‘problematic’ after all these years.  And I can’t even profit off it on the internet?  That’s a joke.  If listening to all these criticisms and taking them to heart got me where I am why do we still pay so much attention to Dave Chapelle’s career and for profit opinion?  I’m invisible.  Just like all the victims out there who are invalidated when somebody says they’re over reacting to sexual abuse and harassment.  I think America has enough problems that nobody wants to confront without us having an opinion about any other country’s sovereign dirty laundry.  And this is where I think we can all learn a little something about progress.  I got to where I am by believing in myself and resisting people’s judgements of who I am.  I got there by challenging my own perspective and growing into my own by putting my ideas into practice.  It hasn’t been easy.  It has been largely thankless and a complete mind fuck.  But I haven’t been alone as much as it seems.  People use so many words and get nowhere.  And then people learn how to communicate without ever opening their mouth.  People can say they love you all day long.  I’m always going to be out here showing you just how much it means to me regardless of who sees it and how they feel about it.  In that I err on the side of consistency.  If that makes me a loser I’m happy with the results.  <3 Tim

[bforbookslut]

Review: I Believe in a Thing Called Love by Maurene Goo

I have given this book ☆☆☆.  325 pages. It belongs to the Young Adult Contemporary genre. Farrar, Straus & Giroux published it. It was published 30th May 2017. I would recommend it to anyone who loves quirky heroines and light, fluffy contemporary young adult romances. 

The blurb reads: “Desi Lee believes anything is possible if you have a plan. That’s how she became student body president. Varsity soccer star. And it’s how she’ll get into Stanford. But—she’s never had a boyfriend. In fact, she’s a disaster at romance, a clumsy, stammering humiliation magnet whose botched attempts at flirting have become legendary with her friends. So when the hottest human specimen to have ever lived walks into her life one day, Desi decides to tackle her flirting failures with the same zest she’s applied to everything else in her life. She finds guidance in the Korean dramas her father has been obsessively watching for years—where the hapless heroine always seems to end up in the arms of her true love by episode ten. It’s a simple formula, and Desi is a quick study. Armed with her “K Drama Steps to True Love”, Desi goes after the moody, elusive artist Luca Drakos—and boat rescues, love triangles, and staged car crashes ensue. But when the fun and games turn to true feels, Desi finds out that real love is about way more than just drama.”

I apologise that I don’t have any quotes for this review (and therefore, little to no evidence) because I went on vacation with this book and forgot to bring my post it notes.

"But I never lost the belief that you could will something just by sticking to it, by being unwavering. By keeping your eyes on the prize. And by doing that, there was nothing you couldn’t control about your own life.”

Verdict:

I wanted to really love I Believe in a Thing Called Love (IBiaTCL). After all, the MC is a girl of Asian descent (that’s me) who is naturally an overachiever (not exactly me but I can relate), has trouble dating (23 and terribly single with no prospects whatsoever) and loves Korean dramas (also me).

But I’m terribly on the fence with it.

Mostly because Desi Lee is written as such a caricature of K-dramas, ignoring the fact that Korean dramas are incredibly diverse. They have the typical high school romances (that IBiaTCL are most likely based on), crime dramas, soap opera-like dramas, family dramas and the list goes on. Even though Maurene Goo is of Asian descent, IBiaTCL seems to have been written from a very white lens and is as clichéd and predictable as they come.

But, when it comes to the K-dramas of the cheesy, romance variety, clichedness and predictability are at its core. And that’s why IBiaTCL got three stars despite how much I disliked it.

Also, it’s well-written, fast-paced and Desi Lee’s antics are incredibly funny in a what-the-fuck-are-you-doing sort of way. It’s refreshing to see her antics /mostly/ backfire and she has to try and save herself.

In the end, I hoped IBiaTCL had ended differently but ah, well.

[contains spoilers]

The Bad:

This gets a little rant-y.

There’s so much incredulity with Desi Lee that she seems like an almost unrealistic MC. Aside from the ridiculous name (which is attributed to her parents’ love for Desi Arnaz of I Love Lucy fame). 

Desi is an overachiever who knows all there is to about cars, is a sports star, class president and all around know it all.

To top it off, she’s got super dooper good-looking best friends

and boo-hoo, she’s the least good-looking one

and she gets picked on because she’s an annoying know-it-all.

Yet, Desi thinks she’s super friendly and nice and that everyone likes her.

And she’s super obsessive, she stalks her crush and manufactures moments to bump into him and make him fall in love with her.

Let’s also not forget that there’s the oh-so-cliched female rival who hates Desi’s guts because of something Desi didn’t even know she was doing.

Oh, and the cherry on top of the cake, is that the guy falls immediately for her.

On the other hand, I can’t ignore the fact that since IBiaTCL is heavily influenced by K-dramas, these sort of things are pretty much standard in a K-drama plot. The heroine is unrealistically beautiful and everything seems to fall in her lap, yet, she’s branded as the outcast and the weird one, and in Desi’s case, a world-class nerd.

In K-dramas, no matter how ridiculous it sounds, the heroine goes out of her way to manipulate her love interest to fall in love with her. Even in a most recent drama, Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo, a university student pretty much sacrifices a lot of her life’s hopes and dreams to make her love interest fall in love with her, lying about who she is and such. Although, I will say that it’s mostly in high school drama romances that this sort of thing happens because romances with adults are less, for lack of a better word, ridiculous.

But it’s just such a cringe-y rendition of how K-dramas can be used to fall in love that makes reading IBiaTCL such a troublesome read.

My big overarching issue with IBiaTCL is how much YA and society has progressed today but instead, this book sort of regresses.

For one, Desi Lee is the smartest, most accomplished girl in school. Instead of using her wits and her smarts, she throws all her intelligence out the window to chase this useless boy who couldn’t even see how much she’s worth. She’s not in the Art Club and immediately, he casts her out. Like, wtv, if you can’t see how smart I am and what a great female president I would be in ten years, bye felicia. But no, Desi Lee sees the hottest thing to cross her path and give her a little attention and she latches on.

Secondly, there’s just so much female rivalry in the book that I’m like, aren’t we already past this? YA can do better, babes. Violet who is in the Art Club, insanely pretty, also Korean and also vying for Luca’s affection is portrayed as an incredibly catty, petty and vindictive woman. And oh, it’s revealed later Violet and Desi used to know each other but Desi moved on and left the church and play school and shit and forgot about Violet which is so fucking normal. She was a kid when it happened, did Violet expect her to remember for the rest of her lives? I avoid people I know in primary school. It’s fucking normal unless you go up to her and introduce yourself????

Not to mention, Desi is contrasted directly against Lucas ex-girlfriend, Emily, who’s like insanely beautiful and model like and ruined Luca’s life by letting him get arrested for her graffiti and then completely discarding him and putting him aside. But Luca gets angry when Emily wants to commemorate their relationship by putting in on social media and says:

“You just reminded me how it’s never been about me, or how you feel about me. How it’s about manipulating your image, what it looks like to everyone else. How I can never tell what’s real.”

Yeah, damn straight. Manipulating. Even Desi realises it.

But oh, yay, congrats because Luca forgives her in the end for being fucking manipulative and almost risking his life. Because she even manufactured a car accident a la Descendants of the Sun but without the precarious cliff-dangling.

But I think the worst part about IBiaTCL is that Desi was ready to give up a life of Stanford and gloriousness for fucking love. She was a definite shoo-in for the off-Ivy League institution, hell, I would give my arm and my leg to study at Stanford but she throws it all away to drive halfway across the country for Luca????? That’s a stupid ass decision right there.

And it’s the most unrealistic thing. Girls, please never ever throw away your hopes and your dreams for some stupid boy who couldn’t even appreciate you for all your smarts and wits in the first place. He’s not worth it. He’s only in it for the sex.

And speaking of useless boys, why couldn’t we have an Asian love interest??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? WHY WAS DESI SO OBSESSED WITH THIS BOY WHOSE HERITAGE IS NOT ASIAN AND I’M NOT GOING TO ASSUME THAT HE’S LATINX??????????????????????????? She can clearly call him Won Bin (who, by the way, is not at all the standard of male handsomeness or even at the top of the desired K-actor list). Why couldn’t Maurene Goo have given us an Asian love interest? This brings to mind the whole why are brown men so obsessed with white women on screen thing and makes me wonder if it’s the same thing here.

The Good:

One of the good things about IBiaTCL is definitely the portrayal of Korean American home life. I am neither and I can’t speak about how authentic or realistic it is but it’s nice to have these sort of experiences in YA. It’s nicer to have them explained and discussed as opposed to Jenny Han’s To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before where Korean American home life is touched on very briefly.

Although, it’s interesting that in both these books with Korean American protagonists, the mother is not present and instead, the father has to raise a daughter. But then again, even in K-dramas, this seems to be a theme.

Another thing I thought was a nice touch is that in writing IBiaTCL, Maurene Goo consulted the moderators of dramabeans.com which I would go as far to say, is the leading source of drama recaps. My sister uses it. My friends use it. I don’t lol mostly because I prefer watching my dramas as opposed to reading them. So, on the topic of K-dramas, this book is in good hands.

In conclusion, K-dramas thrive on being extremely unrealistic, as do romantic comedies. Why should I expect this book to be any different?

[theconservativebrief]

“Beauty is about style. It knows no gender.”

So proclaims the press release announcing Chanel’s first line of makeup for men, Boy de Chanel. Named for Coco Chanel’s lover Boy Capel, the line launched in September in South Korea and comes to stores in the US in 2019.

The line may be capitalizing on a growing trend. Some believe that makeup for men is becoming more and more mainstream, buoyed by makeovers on Queer Eye and an expansive attitude toward masculinity among American youth. Makeup and skincare for men are now not just accepted, but seen as tools men should use “to practice self-care, but also just to look and feel better,” David Yi, founder of the men’s beauty site Very Good Light, told Vox.

Men’s makeup is far from a new phenomenon. Male courtiers in 18th-century Europe wore it, and as Yi points out, cosmetics are already popular among men in South Korea. But in the US, men have traditionally shunned makeup.

If that’s changing, makeup could help men break down restrictive gender norms and express themselves more fully. But it could also force them to face something that has, until now, been mostly the province of women: the pressure to live up to unrealistic beauty standards by spending ever more of their income on lipsticks, powders, and creams.

Men have been decorating their faces for millennia. Ancient Egyptian men, as well as women, wore kohl around their eyes, which research suggests may have had antibacterial as well as decorative properties. In 18th-century England and France, men and women wore lead-based white and red makeup on their faces.

But makeup did not become mainstream for anyone in the US until the 1920s, Lisa Wade, a sociology professor at Occidental College and the author of the textbook Gender: Ideas, Interactions, Institutions, told Vox. As more Americans moved to cities, courtship moved from the home to establishments that cost money, like cabarets and nickelodeons. Men were the ones with money, and women “had to start appealing to men to get men to pick them” for dates. So women began wearing makeup.

“Companies that sell makeup could make twice as much money if they could sell to men,” Wade said. But that didn’t happen: “Somehow gender ideology beat capitalism in this competition.”

“Gender is all about maintaining the idea that men and women are different,” Wade explained. “Anything that we do that undermines distinction is a real threat to male superiority.”

“Gender is all about maintaining the idea that men and women are different”

She’s not convinced that men’s makeup will become truly mainstream, noting that celebrities like Boy George wore makeup in the 1980s. “There have always been men who poked and prodded at these boundaries,” she said.

Boy George in concert in 1987. Gamma-Rapho/Getty Images

But others believe that when it comes to painting our faces, the boundaries between men and women are coming down. Worldwide, sales of men’s beauty and fashion products have been growing faster than women’s sales since 2010, according to CNN. A 2016 survey found that almost half of British men used skin care products daily, and 59 percent said appearance was very important.

Meanwhile, brands like Cover Girl and Maybelline have featured men in their ads. And the popularity of Netflix’s Queer Eye has helped demystify cosmetics for men. Yi pointed to an episode that aired earlier this year, in which the show’s grooming expert (and breakout star) Jonathan Van Ness showed contestant Tom Jackson how to use a color corrector to tone down the redness of his face.

“Even a lot of women who are into beauty don’t use color correcting,” Yi said. “That was such a moment in the beauty sphere for guys.”

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There’s an increased pressure in recent years “for men to maintain youthfulness, and so it does seem that they’re increasingly seeking out aesthetic treatments,” said Jules Lipoff, a professor of clinical dermatology at the University of Pennsylvania. He has noticed an increased interest among men in skincare, though not in makeup specifically.

But “it’s a chicken-and-egg thing,” he said. “Is it that men started to get more interested in it, and then they started marketing and pushing it more, or did they start marketing and pushing it more, and then there was more interest?”

Yi believes the ascendance of Generation Z — people younger than millennials, born from the mid-90s to the early 2000s — is ushering in a more accepting attitude toward men’s makeup in American society.

“Generation Z is now at the forefront of culture,” he says, citing Jaden Smith and Lil Uzi Vert, male celebrities who sometimes wear skirts or blouses. “They’re so much more progressive and open, sexually fluid and gender fluid than millennials are.”

“They’re now rethinking what masculinity means, what it means to be a guy, and painting your face or using skincare doesn’t make you any less men,” he said.

Jaden Smith performing in 2015. Jason Merritt/Getty Images for Universal Music

While several brands have embraced gender fluidity in their marketing — Milk, for instance, partnered with Very Good Light on a video showing people of a variety of gender identities and presentations wearing Milk makeup — fewer sell products aimed specifically at men.

In addition to the new Boy de Chanel line, Tom Ford makes concealer, bronzer, and brow gel for men. The company Fluide launched earlier this year to offer “makeup for all gender expressions, gender identities and skin tones.”

“I wouldn’t say that there’s any strong men-specific brands,” Yi said. “In American culture we kind of need to develop makeup for the everyday guy.”

Although research is limited, men’s skin appears to differ from women’s in certain ways, Lipoff said. A 1975 study, the most up-to-date on the topic, found that men’s skin tended to be thicker than women’s, but that it lost more collagen with time. Men also tend to have different complaints about their skin than women, Lipoff said, often focusing around the hairline or eyes.

But men and women don’t really have different product needs from a dermatological perspective, Lipoff said. Most people can benefit from sunscreen, and a moisturizer if they have dry skin. Beyond that, there’s not much data to support the need for additional products, although some can reduce the appearance of fine lines.

Of course, feminists have long debated the politics of makeup for women, weighing the opportunities for experimentation and self-expression against the pressure to conform to a certain standard of beauty. At least since the second wave, feminist critics have taken aim at the expectation that women must modify their appearances to be attractive to men and acceptable in society. When singer-songwriter Alicia Keys began appearing in public without makeup in 2016, it was, in part, an effort to push back against such expectations.

“In the morning from the minute that I wake up,” she wrote in the song “Girl Can’t Be Herself,” “What if I don’t want to put on all that makeup? Who says I must conceal what I’m made of? Maybe all this Maybelline is covering my self-esteem.”

Alicia Keys at the MTV Video Music Awards in 2016. Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images

Others, meanwhile, have seen makeup as a way to assert their identities in a world that devalues them. The writer and activist Janet Mock, for instance, has written about how a makeover from a friend helped her come into her own as a young trans girl.

Historically, few men have had to concern themselves with the politics of makeup. But if men’s makeup becomes mainstream, they may find themselves facing some of the same pressures women feel — and, perhaps, gaining some of the same opportunities for expression.

While men still face far less judgment about their appearance than women do, Lipoff said, increased focus on men’s looks could have an impact on their mental health. “I wouldn’t be surprised if with time, you start to see more body dysmorphic disorder, more eating disorders and other things increasing in men,” he said. In the UK, the number of men hospitalized for eating disorders rose by 70 percent between 2010 and 2016, the same rate of increase as among women, as Sarah Marsh reports in the Guardian.

“For me, this becomes not a question about gender but a question about capitalism,” said Wade. Contemporary capitalism “thrives on making us feel like we’re not good enough,” she said. If makeup for men became widespread, would that mean “more people would feel better about themselves because they could buy the products that make them look less like themselves,” she asks. “I don’t think that would be a good thing.”

But Yi argues that men already have a lot of the same insecurities as women, “it’s just that they have been conditioned not to talk about it.”

Women “have been able to identify the issues that they go through, and they are able to find ways to get over that stuff, whereas guys, they have all of these issues, but they’ve been bottled up,” he said.

By talking openly about men’s beauty along with other issues at Very Good Light, he said, he hopes to counteract the “toxic masculinity” that leads men to keep their problems to themselves.

Yi, whose typical daily beauty routine includes a 10-step Korean skincare regimen, eyebrow makeup, and BB cream, launched the site in 2016 because he saw an unmet need for beauty writing for men, by men. “There had to be other guys like me in the world,” he thought.

By now, it’s clear that there’s plenty of interest in men’s makeup — Very Good Light, for its part, has gotten coverage in the New York Times and CNN. Whether that will translate into more cosmetics marketed exclusively to men, and all of the opportunities and pressures that might come with that, remains to be seen.

Boy de Chanel will be available online in November and in American stores in January. As with so many things, a lot will depend on whether it sells.

Original Source -> What the rise of men’s makeup means for masculinity

via The Conservative Brief