#and are far better at telling you things are good
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adieutristana · 2 days ago
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Hey :3
could you please write arcane women with a chronically ill user? Especially a FAINTING CONDITION, I have one and I would love to see how would they react and take care!!
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of course! thank you for the request <3
disclaimer that i do not have any experience with this kind of condition. i did some research and did my best to portray them accurately, but as always, i’m open to feedback.
summary; headcanons of arcane women and fem!reader with a fainting condition.
characters included; jinx, vi, mel, sevika, caitlyn
tags/warnings; hurt/comfort, fluff, chronically ill!reader, mentions of fainting (duh), medical talk
men dni.
jinx;
✧.* the first time it happened, jinx was in absolute shock. one second you were upright, talking to her about your latest endeavors. the next second, you looked a bit out if it, like your vision was starting to blur and you were becoming disconnected from reality. the next second, your body was going limp, and jinx was scrambling to catch you.
✧.* it'd be an understatement to say that she was panicking. she's shaking you, yelling at you, trying to manipulate you into a sitting position so she can try and figure out what's wrong. she got so desperate that she ended up pouring some cold water over your face, and that was what brought you back to consciousness.
✧.* she's bombarding you with questions as soon as she sees your eyes begin to blink open.
✧.* "what happened, toots?!" she'd ask, or, "you went all... blank, then nothing. what's that about?"
✧.* she can come off as a bit blunt with her questions, but she doesn't mean anything by it. jinx is just a girl with little to no filter- she genuinely is concerned.
✧.* you take a few moments to come back to your senses, all the while jinx is sat next to you with a hand gripping your knee, tight. it's both for you and herself, for jinx to reassure herself that you're here, you're alive, and you're (hopefully) okay.
✧.* once you're in a sound state, you explain to jinx that you have a fainting condition. you'd meant to tell her earlier, but it kept slipping your mind, until you'd actually fainted. you reassure her that it's nothing life-threatening, nothing that'll put you in danger (in most situations).
✧.* jinx still worries, of course she does. she worries about you when you're just going to the convenience store to grab water bottles, so her anxiety when you tell her about your condition is off the charts. regardless, she tries to hone it in and trust your word. you've lived with it for years, and you know your own health better than she does.
✧.* after the first conversation, jinx doesn't bring it up often. of course she'll talk about your condition if you're the one to mention it, but she doesn't want you to feel like she's treating you any differently.
✧.* tries to distract you with colorful smoke bombs, affection, and jokes after you regain consciousness most of the time. peppering your face in purposely wet and rushed kisses in an attempt to see you smile. she knows it'll take you some time to come to, but she wants you to be in good spirits when you do! jinx hates a lot of things, but none quite as much as seeing you unhappy or in distress.
✧.* but she keeps both her hideout and her bags stashed with things that'll help in case of another fainting spell. if there's one thing that jinx is, it's observant. she knows every one of your habits, your little quirks. she could write a damn novel full of things about you that you haven't even noticed about yourself.
✧.* and if she notices those telltale signs- your eyes beginning to cloud, starting to space out, losing your balance, she's on it. water is a given, she'll also usher you to sit or lie down so that you can focus on your breathing. if it's bad enough, jinx will try to guide you through some breathing exercises, even though she doesn't have a clue what she's doing. she's trying her best :(
✧.* "you're lookin' all... far away again. sit down, toots, breathe." she'd say, her face getting impossibly close to yours, thick brows furrowed.
✧.* does as much research as possible! there's not much that frustrates jinx than not being able to understand something. these things are like a puzzle to her in a way. she wants to be able to analyze, understand, and help. she knows there's really nothing she can do to prevent fainting spells, as much as she wishes she could. regardless, helping you through them becomes one of her most important self-appointed duties.
✧.* if she sees you standing for a bit too long, your girlfriend would make sure to ask you to take a little break. she doesn't want you to start getting lightheaded and have another spell when it might be preventable
✧.* jinx would also make sure that you're not close to any hard surfaces or corners if she notices you right on the brink of fainting. the last thing that she needs is you to hit your head on the corner of a table.
✧.* "hey- hey! get away from there," a jumbled mess of words, before wrapping her arms around your waist, slowly pulling you away from near a hard counter and supporting your fall.
✧.* she becomes pretty good pretty quick! it just gave her a scare at first is all :(
vi;
✧.* it was one of the first things you'd told vi when you first began dating- that you have a fainting condition. you faint from time to time, there's signs, and you can't control it. it happens, and it's bound to worry her, but you're okay.
✧.* she'd hear you and listen to you, vi always does. but i don't think the magnitude of your words would really sink in until the first time she witnessed a fainting spell of yours, and she was in shock.
✧.* she was utterly panicked. holding you across her lap, checking your pulse at both your wrist and neck, shaking you, trying to talk to you, anything.
✧.* it seems fruitless, and vi can feel tears beginning to prick at the corners of her eyes. she didn't realize the sheer depth of what you'd said until now, and the girl is internally beating herself up for it. you told her you had a fainting condition, of course you'd faint! how could she have not been prepared?
✧.* but eventually, you do start to regain consciousness. she immediately holds you close to her chest, whispering quiet and rushed 'ohthankjanna's and 'you're okay, aren't you? please tell me you're okay.'
✧.* it takes a moment for you to return back to consciousness, weary eyes looking up at vi. you can only slowly nod. it's not much of an answer, but it's satisfactory for vi- letting her know that you hear her and you're alright.
✧.* "i'm so sorry i wasn't prepared, you told me and i still-" "vi, love, stop. it's fine, i'm fine."
✧.* she makes sure that she's prepared for next time. she doesn't want to make you feel as if you're delicate, like you can't take care of yourself. vi knows you're more than capable, but still, she's your girlfriend and she wants to look out for you.
✧.* she asks you to describe everything to her- how you know it’s getting bad, what works to help you both before and after the fact. it’s vi trying to understand exactly what you need, rather than simply assuming.
✧.* after those conversations, your girlfriend does grow to recognize the signs and symptoms you have rather quickly. the moment she sees you start to look a little out of it, she’s pulling you away from anything you could fall onto, coaxing you to lay down or sit down with your head between your knees.
✧.* “hey, hey. sit down, okay? i’ve got ya, cupcake,” she’d whisper, her hand rubbing gentle circles into the small of your back. she’d press light kisses to your temple, plump lips a reminder of her presence and affections.
✧.* there’s always a few water bottles in her bag just in case though, and some snacks (your favorites, too) whenever she feels you may need them.
✧.* while vi did freak out after the first fainting spell you had, she learns to manage them soon after. now that you’ve talked to her and she knows what to expect, she can rest assured that you’re alright and you’ll come to with a bit of time and support.
✧.* once you do regain consciousness, she doesn’t make a big deal of it. VERY affectionate, though. she’s just so happy that you’re doing alright, she can’t help it… chaste kisses to your lips and tight embraces when she notices your light grumbles and your eyes fluttering open.
✧.* if you were having a conversation before fainting, she’d wait out the episode, then continue the discussion like nothing had happened. while vi absolutely worries, she doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable or feel like she’s only focusing on what happened. unless you want to talk about it of course!
✧.* “you’re okay, right?” “mhm… just a little hiccup,” you’d murmur. “right. where were we?”
mel;
✧.* mel has seen people faint several times in her life and career, but i’d imagine you’re the first person she’s met with a fainting condition.
✧.* mel is a stellar listener, though. once you inform her of your condition, your symptoms, how it affects your daily life and how you navigate it, she’s taken everything to heart. mel may not fully understand, but she wants to try the best that she can.
✧.* asks a lot of questions. your girlfriend isn’t trying to interrogate you or pry any information from you, instead just trying to grasp your condition better. trying to prepare for the inevitable fainting spells you have and know exactly how to handle them. questions like ‘how do you know one is upon you?,’ or ‘what do you think helps best, when it’s said and done?’
✧.* so the first time that she’d witnessed an episode, mel knew exactly what to do. she saw the undeniable signs; the far-off look, the light sheen of sweat, the way you were ever so slightly off-balance. she sprung into action and guided you by your shoulders to lay down, legs above your chest and encouraged you to simply breathe through it.
✧.* “you’re sweating, love. and you look like you’re having trouble focusing,” she’d say- a statement, rather than a question. mel would take you by your shoulders and guide you to one of the lush couches in her home, ushering you to lay down. “come on, breathe. in, out… like that, yes.”
✧.* though she gets some close calls and is able to help sometimes, mel knows that she can’t always prevent a fainting spell. but she’s always there to break your fall, hold you across your lap, brush stray strands of hair from your face and run soft thumbs across your cheeks until you come back to.
✧.* so incredibly sweet and attentive once you come back to your senses. mel is peppering gentle kisses across your cheeks, forehead, the bridge of your nose, the corner of your lips. a light sheen from her lip gloss remains on your skin. she’ll take your hands in hers, whispering sweet nothings into your ear while your fingers intertwine with her own.
✧.* “you scared me there, darling,” she’d tease, soft lips brushing against your temple. “but that’s alright. you’re okay now, aren’t you?”
✧.* doesn’t dwell on it, though. mel doesn’t want this to be the focus of your day if you don’t want it to be, so she’ll give you your kisses and cuddles before letting go and continuing on with whatever you were doing, unless you ask her to keep giving you that affection. in which case she is more than happy to oblige!
✧.* she does have connections with doctors just in case she feels you may need one. it rarely gets to that point, but having those emergency contacts puts mel’s mind at ease. if you were to take a little too long to wake up, she didn’t react quickly enough and couldn’t break your fall, she’d know exactly who to go to.
✧.* mel has all of the essentials packed at all times. water, snacks, even a device to track your blood pressure when necessary. she’s stocked constantly, you’ll never want or need for anything with mel.
✧.* “that looked rough,” she’d say, crouching next to your form and holding out a bottle of spring water. “drink some of this, okay? even if you feel alright, it’ll make me feel better.”
sevika;
✧.* you swore that you’d meant to tell her, you were just waiting for an opportunity. a minute of peace in her chaotic days, maybe a tranquil moment after all the rough jobs and rushed fights.
✧.* but the ‘right time’ never came, sevika is a busy woman after all. by the time you have a moment to yourselves, sevika is washing up in preparation for bed, her eyelids already drooping. you know you need to tell her about your condition at some point, but you don't want to spring it on your girlfriend while she's this tired.
✧.* so when you're out at the casino, the woman playing a heated game of blackjack with you and a few of her old friends and you suddenly slump in your seat, sevika has no idea what's hit her. immediately she drops her cards, rushing to your side of the table to shake you, talk to you, desperately try to get you back to her.
✧.* "shit- dove, what happened?" she's saying. her voice is rushed and panicked, much unlike her usual gruff demeanor. "come on, please wake up..."
✧.* she stays by your side the entire time, simply waiting for you to wake up. her friends can wait, the game can wait, and she doesn't pay any mind to the lingering stares of other patrons. all that sevika can think about in this moment is you, and your well-being. she's never seen this from you before. she's panicked internally, but she's good at putting on a brave face for you.
✧.* the second your eyelids begin to flutter open, sevika is all over you. she was panicked, and most of all she was scared. as irrational as it may be, part of her was afraid that she was losing you- even though she was able to take note of the subtle rise and fall of your chest, and the fact your pulse was still steady.
✧.* once you're back to feeling yourself, fully, sevika would pull you out of the casino and onto the street for more 'privacy' (not much of that in zaun). she’s immediately going down a list of questions- if you’re okay, what happened, what caused it, if this is a recurring issue, and if you knew this would happen.
✧.* you explained to her, your gaze downcast and voice tinged with a hint of guilt. “i’m sorry, sev. i meant to tell you, just… the time wasn’t ever right.” she let out a heavy sigh, crossing her arms over her chest and shaking her head. though she’s a bit shaken up by what just happened, sevika can’t bring herself to be mad at you. she understands where you’re coming from.
✧.* "there is no 'right time,'" she said, hand on your shoulder. her thumb rubbing slow circles against the fabric of your shirt. "you can tell me these things, especially when they involve you fainting." her tone is firm, yet there's no anger or malice behind it.
✧.* from that point on, you've been more open and willing to express things without the fear of timing or anything similar. you discuss your symptoms with her, the way your condition affects your daily life, how you work around it, the like. she listens and makes mental notes of everything you say, even trying to read between the lines at some points. sevika is that devoted and that concerned for your well-being. she wants to make sure she's prepared for whatever comes and she's able to be a good girlfriend through it :(
✧.* her home is STACKED with cases of water bottles, any medications that might help, and your favorite snacks. she's already made a substantial effort to make her once uninviting place more comfortable for you, but now she goes the extra mile- and you didn't even ask her to.
✧.* after a while, sevika comes to expect fainting spells and knows when they're coming on. she'll stay close to you, trying to talk to you and ground you in the moment- having you sit down, try to look at her, try to focus. but she knows that eventually you'll likely faint, and that's alright. as long as you're in a safe environment and she's able to look out for you, your girlfriend's mind is at ease.
✧.* “dove, you’re about to-” she’ll move to hold your shoulders, gently guiding you to a place away from any hard surfaces. “sit here, alright? i’ll get you some water.”
caitlyn;
✧.* it was one of the first conversations you’d had with caitlyn when you begun dating. now that you’re spending more time with the woman, you know it’s best to inform her before she finds out by you actually fainting.
✧.* caitlyn doesn’t immediately understand your condition, she’s never met somebody with a condition like yours before. however, she absolutely does want to understand and as soon as you’re finished talking, she takes a trip to one of piltover’s libraries to do some reading.
✧.* she reads about your condition, its symptoms, and how fainting spells can be treated. the signs that one is approaching. caitlyn would also read a few medical papers for good measure, just to see what professionals recommend. this is of the upmost importance to her.
✧.* the first time caitlyn was witness, you were thankfully in the comfort of her own home. helping her cook dinner, reaching up to the cupboards for some spices before you felt lightheadedness set in. caitlyn is perceptive- she noticed almost immediately.
✧.* she wrapped an arm loosely around your waist, trying to support the inevitable fall as she pressed soft kisses to your cheeks. "hey, i'm with you," she whispered. she didn't want to necessarily coddle you, but she wanted to remind you that she's there, first and foremost.
✧.* caitlyn feels you slump against her. she's keeping that same stoic face she's so known and feared for, but underneath the surface, she's terrified. terrified that you're not really okay, even though you've assured her this happens regularly and you're alright every time. terrified that she's doing something wrong, or even making things worse.
✧.* it takes a few moments, some gentle brushes of her hand against your arm in a motion meant more to reassure caitlyn, but you come back to.
✧.* "there you are, love," she murmurs, her hold on you tightening the slightest bit. "that was... scary."
✧.* "i'm alright, cait," you whisper, a weak smile on your face in an effort to reassure her. "i'm sure it's scary for you, but i'm okay. i promise."
✧.* caitlyn takes your word for it, you know yourself best. but even so, she can't help the nagging fears in the back of her mind, no matter how hard she tries to get rid of them. she's got water- expensive water stocked up, snacks, over-the-counter medical equipment, the like, all in her home for you.
✧.* her worries subside with time, but they never completely go away. they likely never will. she's your girlfriend, after all :( but she grows accustomed to fainting spells and almost-fainting spells as part of life. she's observant and intuitive, and cait is able to spring into action the moment she notices something is wrong.
✧.* "alright, that's enough," she'd say, her voice gentle yet firm. guiding you from the table you're cleaning. she sees the way you're starting to become a bit wobbly on your feet, and how your gaze isn't as focused. "i'll take it from here. lie down, love, i'll get you something to eat. alright?"
✧.* caitlyn is observant, but she doesn't ask for you to give her more than you're willing. verbally, she won't pry, she won't check in too often (unless she sees you looking unwell), she won't ask too many questions.
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crheativity · 1 day ago
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SUMMARY: Something goes wrong, and you’re in tears. How do the Overblot boys help you?
WARNINGS: Tried to keep things vague but sorry if it’s a lil too specific sometimes. Reader is Prefect. Written under a romantic presumption but could possibly be read platonic. The Hell Word pops up in Leona’s and Idia’s. Book 3, Book 4 and Book 6 spoilers in Leona’s, Jamil’s and Idia’s respectively. I wrote all of these late at night also, so fair warning
NOTES: sorry it’s been a while, life go brr. This is heavily self indulgent, and sorry if it’s OOC. Might do the others (First, Second & Third years) if enough people want it. 
Also, if you like this, please feel free to check out my Valentine’s Day Event!
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He hesitates for a moment, hands hovering beside you as he thinks carefully about what to say. As he speaks, his voice begins to shake. 
“Thank you for trusting me of all people with your feelings and circumstances. I… I am so, so sorry, Prefect. I’m-- I wish I was good at this - there are no rules for comforting someone you care about - but I’ll do my best. I— I can’t imagine what it’s like, going through what you’re going through. What you’re about to be going through. But— of course, all of Heartslabyul and I are at your disposal. Anything, anything at all that would bring you a moment’s comfort or peace, please come to us. I— all of us care about you deeply. Please tell us what to do to assist.”
If you want it (and are willing to excuse a slightly flustered Riddle), he’ll give you a tight hug, trying to convey how much he cares about you. He hates that he struggles to talk about things like this. For you, he’ll do anything. Anything to bring your rosy smile back. And if anyone dares oppose him? Heads will roll. 
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He’s been strangely quiet during your explanation, venting, tears - all of it. He waits until you’re finished - and then a moment longer, to consider his words. He reaches up to dry your tears. With his spare hand, he takes yours and pulls you a little closer, speaking in a low, gentle voice. 
“Oi, Herbivore, c’mere. It’ll be alright, you hear? You’re strong, shameless and crafty. Hell, you give that Octotwerp a run for his money. If you gotta fight tooth and claw to get through this, then I’ll fight with you, okay? Just— no more waterworks for now. Yeah, it sucks. But you’ve cried about things, so now you should have the strength to get up and stick through them. If that’s all you can manage, I’ll get Ruggie to take care of the rest. Just don’t push yourself right now, ‘kay? Good, now rest. You’ll need it after a sob-fest like that.“
He pulls you into a surprisingly gentle hug, rubbing circles on your arms. After a while, he’ll ask if you want to nap with him. Once you fall asleep, he’s calling Ruggie and making plans. No way in hell are you dealing with more than you have to. He’ll fight for you himself if he has to. 
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Hearing the pain, the anguish and the tears in your voice, he has to fight back tears himself. He hesitantly reaches out for you. Pausing for a moment, he begins to speak, voice filled with emotion. 
“This is— I’m very, very sorry, Prefect. You do not deserve to go through this— any of this. Should you request anything at all, the Mostro Lounge will provide, free of charge, of course. If there is anything we— I— can do to ease your burdens, please do not hesitate to ask. The world can sometimes be a deeply flawed, unfair place. I wish that I had the power to better shield you from this side. I’m truly, very sorry, Prefect. Please know that I— we care about you. This world is a far better place for your presence in it. Please, let us return the favour for you.”
He (with permission) gently pulls you into a hug, holding you as though you were glass. He was going to find who- or whatever caused you to hurt like this and make their pitiful existence miserable. Those poor, unfortunate souls. 
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As you confide in him, Jamil seems to turn strangely quieter than usual. His solution oriented mind begins to whir, thinking about what he can do to help, the logistics of it, etc. Your sniffling snaps him back into reality. Putting solutions aside for now, he reaches for your hands and squeezes them gently, offering you a small, sad smile.
“Hey, everything will work out. It sucks right now, obviously, but in a while, it’ll all be okay. That’s just the way life goes, for some reason. World shattering events can happen, but time marches on anyway. It’ll always drag you with it, too. What I mean is that because you’ll be okay eventually, it can help you be okay now. I guess. And we at Scarabia are always here for you, okay? Kalim’s… Kalim, and I’m always here for you if you need to vent or complain or if you need help. I’m never too busy if it’s you, alright? Just don’t bottle it up… that works out well.”
He smiles a little ruefully at that last comment, then takes off his hoodie and drapes it over you. He tells you to keep it - that way he’s always there with you if you need it. He squeezes your hands and rests his forehead against yours, comfortingly. Jamil wasn’t used to being quite so… hopeful. But you had helped him become better, and he wanted to return the favour.
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Vil may be a good actor, but his thoughts were shockingly readable as you vented to him. He seemed to react correctly in all the right places, asking questions but never pressing for answers. When you finish, he gently reaches out and starts stroking your hair. He pulls you a little closer for comfort. He pauses for a moment, then begins to speak.
“I’m so sorry, Prefect. You do not deserve this - any of this. Pomefiore’s students and I are always here for you, no matter the need. Anything you need, it would be our honour and privilege to provide. In times such as these, I find taking care of oneself is extremely important. Not to the extent of perfectionism necessarily, but enough to bring you joy. So please, if it’s not too much trouble, please find one indulgent thing each day. Not something so unhealthy it’d ruin you, but something gentle and sweet. Like a bubble bath, or watching that movie you’ve mentioned wanting to see. It’s important to keep yourself as happy as you can, when life is attempting to do the opposite. And if you can’t think of anything, then please, come to me. Let me take care of you.”
He then, with permission, sweeps you into the biggest, comfiest, warmest hug you’ve ever experienced (Ghibli-style), and stays that way until you move. He wants to do so much more for you. He knows where you’re at, and, being the kind of person you are, he trusts you’ll know what’s best for yourself. He only hopes you let him take care of you, too.
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Bro was low key in panic mode. What the hell is he supposed to say/do??? He really, really can’t afford to screw this up. He’s pretty sure he’d get a -1000 debuff to his Charisma stats if he doesn’t say the right thing. Usually, he wouldn’t particularly care if it was just some NPC he had to comfort - but this is the protagonist we’re talking about! And Ortho’s not here, just his luck! He sighs and his mind races back through every Otome/VN game he’s played and every shoujo romcom to figure out what in Twisted Wonderland he’s supposed to say.
“Uhh, that’s not very… plus ultra? Shoot, I mean-... That sounds really tough. I’m sorry, Prefect… Stuff like that is rough… I’m, uh, not the best person to go to for advice. Not particularly known for my ability to… handle stuff. mentally. But uh, I’m always here for a distraction if you need. That’s what I typically do. Distract until you don’t feel anymore haha… but uh, that’s probably not a good thing. Still, though. I’m always happy to play games or watch anime with you.. Or something. Those are my favourite things, not necessarily yours. We don’t have to. It’s honestly enough just to hang out with you… ugh, that was cringe, wasn’t it?”
Once you assure him that it was very much not cringe, he sighs in relief and gives you a small, soft smile - not an expression you’ve seen often on him. He reaches over and pulls out two controllers, throwing one to you. He boots up a game, commenting how he’s not gonna go easy on you just because you’re sad. You wouldn’t have it any other way.
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You cautiously ignore the thunderstorm brewing outside as you vent to Malleus about your problems. You carefully construct your words and phrases, to protect Sage Island from month-long hurricanes. After you finish, Malleus asks if you are comfortable with physical affection. With consent, he pulls you into a hug. 
“Apologies, Child of Man, I am not familiar with methods of comfort. I will do my best - I only ask for your leniency if I say something wrong, and for you to understand that all I say is with the best intentions. I want you to know that I care about you. I believe it is important for those going through difficult periods of time to know where they have true friends. No matter what, Child of Man, I wish to be counted among those. If I am, and with your permission, I will enact all I can to assist you through and out of these situations. I only ask your patience. I promise, I will do whatever you require during this time. Only speak my name, and I will be there.”
Malleus continues to hold you gently, unsure about what to do or say from here, other than gently repeating he’s here for you. He stays there with you until you are ready to move on, then takes you for a walk around campus. And this time, he’ll only go on two tangents about gargoyles you pass.
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♥Thank you for reading!! I hope you enjoyed it!!♥
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weaselle · 20 hours ago
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i definitely wouldn't consider myself abused, but my parents did things that were cruel and some that could be considered abuse, and they did it because they thought they were helping.
Things like not even telling me when teachers recommended i skip grades, not telling me when coaches recommended i be transferred to more competitive, higher skilled teams (they had no idea just how horrible my self image was, and thought they were helping me have a normal social development, when really they were hiding things from me that could have helped me overcome what is now a lifelong psychological issue)
They did things like kept me on restriction for 7th, 8th, and half of 9th grade. Restriction in my house meant no leaving the property, no having anyone over, no screens of any kind, no phone conversations, and sometimes i was also on book restriction, which meant no non-school books and involved being searched for contraband fiction everyday before i left for school.
They didn't say hey, we're going to lock you up in solitary confinement for 2.5 school years during the time when social interaction is most important for normal development. They simply said "every friday you need to get each one of your teachers to sign off that you completed 100% of your homework and turned it in on time for the week, or else you are on restriction for another week" and my adhd ass with my dysfunctional executives could never manage to do it.
They didn't say hey, we're going to let you continue to wallow in the belief that your birth parents were right to abandon you because you are not smart enough or good enough to be a worthwhile person. They simply thought "if a child skips grades and leaves their sports team friends behind they won't have a normal childhood" and left me with no way to know I wasn't incompetent and worthless.
They thought they were motivating me to do my homework. They thought they were helping. They were trying to get me to follow a normal childhood trajectory and develop good habits and achieve good grades so i could succeed in life. The reality is, it was very damaging to me. But they had three other kids and a lot to manage and didn't really realize what was going on with me, and what they were doing seemed very reasonable to them.
They love me and did some truly wonderful parenting.
And they also did a lot of damage. To me in particular. They really fucked me up. That's just the way things are.
They are good people who did their best. No child should be so confined that long the way i was, true. And their best in certain areas (like being perfectionists who only ever told me how i did things wrong) which might have merely been not great for another child, was incredibly bad for me because of my specific needs. In retrospect it seems like maybe they should have known better. But also in retrospect they were just normal adults making mistakes. In most areas they were better parents that many, many people have access to. And they also did some things that were terrible for me.
I know my experience is not the same as people who grew up in abusive households, I have had friends and partners who were very abused indeed. But I do think this post touches on something that is real, and worth digesting, and perhaps my own experience shows the far edge of the concept, as a place to start thinking about it.
otherwise interesting post ruined by the bold insistence that you can never accidentally abuse someone & that all abusive people are self-aware evil masterminds
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angelfishe · 3 days ago
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# 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐋𝐄𝐅𝐓 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐀 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃
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Genshin man x reader
Character : alhaitham, diluc, zhongli, ayato.
You love them with your heart but why would he love you when he's surrounded with more beautiful and talented people more than you, maybe leaving would be a good option you wouldn't burden them as well they could move on into a much better option than you. Disappearing from their life completely
Warning : The reader has an inferiority complex, as well mention of suicide and self harming.
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ALHAITHAM
Among the seas of students of the akedemiya there are always ones that shine brighter than the others and alhaitham is no exception, one of the most shining stars that would live brighter than the others. While you are by far a regular spantammad student the only difference is that both of you and him are childhood friends.
Unfortunately for you to fail to see the worth for yourself in his life, he would live a much better life without you interrupting his journeys. So when you hear that there's gonna be an expedition towards outside of sumeru you take it, planning on staying out of his life as much as long as possible even meaning being away from your homeland.
You prevent him from knowing about the expedition, knowing that he would try to convince you to quit it as well making him stress about you leaving making sure you would go unnoticed. Soon he realizes every time you visit your house it becomes less crowded and stuff is neatly packed in a box. He started to be suspicious of what was going on.
So when you invite him towards the bar to hang out, he had a bad feeling this would be the last time seeing you. But he pushed it aside because you're here right now not knowing that the goodbye you wave to each other was the last one. Your presence disappears and when he visits your place it is dead silent not a single thing of your stuff.
DILUC
Coming from a lesser noble clan on mondstat your duty was to be served to someone as wife or decorations. And diluc was the one you were destined to be with on the paper agreement with the previous lord of dawn winery.
It's confusing honestly out of all the options of the daughter of another noble family they chose to be his betrothed. You and him would have play dates together to make you two grow closer but sometimes these playdates would include other noble children like jean from the gundihir clan another noble clan as the ragdnivir. To be honest you understand why he would choose jean in the future she's beautiful I mean if you were in his position you would choose Jean.
Unknowningly diluc was the one that chose you when he took a look at the picture of future spouse for him and when he took a glimpse at your portrait it was love first sight you were the one he dreamed to be with and grow a family. Unfortunately you are unable to see that just like a butterfly is unable to see their own beauty.
When he was at snezhnaya you took this opportunity to finally leave for good packing up your stuff without telling anyone even your parents, so when he returned you were nowhere to be found everyone couldn't find you, you were gone. You believe he would be better without you but in truth he was miserable The world was dark and grey and you were the color and now you're gone and he will use anything to find you.
ZHONGLI
Being a minor goddess that joined alliance with him, you didn't expect he would go infatuated with you. He would willingly risk his life for you rescuing you from a monster that was threatening to kill you and when you saw how injured he was after the fight you realized you were a burden to him.
You fully know your weak compared to the other adepti or gods, your domain is small similar to harvia your best friend and you see your fate will happen similar to her being too weak and your people or your close will kill you if you keep being like this. Seeing you as a weakness for rex lapis and if you die his weakness will die. His people and the other need him more than you.
One day, you hear that a new monster has been rampaging and you believe this would be a good way to finally rid of yourself so people won't question your intention. You grab your weapon and ready to the battlefield, when rex lapis got word he arrived you were unfortunately dead watching your body being devoured by the beast.
From that day he blamed himself for your demise as well asking why would recklessly charge yourself to battle after knowing your weakness, in modern liyue he felt a sense of familiarity and saw you walking maybe it's not too late to love you this time he shows you how much he loves you.
AYATO
You couldn't blame him for hiding you from the world knowing a relationship with a master and a servant would be heavily forbidden by the public as well being one of his weaknesses, he needs to appear untouchable in front of the public as well as his enemies to protect you and the clan.
In close door he loves you and showers you with gifts and affection while on the outside he treats you as if you were just a normal servant under his orders another disposable chest piece.
When you were poison, hes eyes would instantly went towards your form but unable to reach you because people were dragging you away and he need to show face of a composed person but how can he act when the love of his eyes was dying in the other room.
One day a resignation letter appeared at his office when he was not at home and thoma informed him you left a day before leaving a letter telling him to move on and love another person and not you. He track your footprints and found you at sumeru studying there as a new student and new alias he ready a ship because he's gonna need explanation from you what you mean move on. Come back to his arms please if you won't he's gonna die without your touch
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un-fwuit-un-fwog · 3 days ago
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HELLOOO👋🏻
Since your requests were open could you do a Leona x fem!reader??
Where the reader is initially wary of men due to past experiences back in her world. So when she's in twst world (more specifically in NRC) she's cautious around boys, but Leona notices and tries to gain her trust. Alot of people misunderstood him being a player, womanizer, mean cruel man etc when he's actually not like that. I guess you're my only hope for a Leona x reader request lololol 😭
Hope you have time to do this req!
Thank you for the request! I've been itching to write more Leona content, and you gave me an excuse to take a moment away from my The Rain series to do so! (I've had a somewhat similar idea rolling around in my head for months, but I'll save that for another fic ;))
I tried not to let the story or its themes veer too far off into. . .unsavory directions/topics, but some things have to be at least acknowledged in a vague way when discussing this topic. I tried to do so as respectfully as possible, but if I failed, please tell me so I can do better!
Synopsis: Fem! Reader who is wary of men grows to trust Leona.
TW: mentions of the reader having previous bad experiences with men, but I tried to keep it rather vague; reader has anxiety about being in a school full of men as well as having to stay with them in the events of book 3; reader gets chased by a guy that wants to beat her up near the end, but Leona steps in (I tried not to make it a princess in distress situation, but tell me if it comes off too much that way)
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Being thrown into an unfamiliar world is awful. Being thrown into an unfamiliar world and being stuck in an all male school there? You had to question what kind atrocities you committed in your past life to deserve this fate.
It took you a while, but you managed to make. . .friends here. However, even those bonds were rather unsteady and fragile.
It's not that you hated men. You were simply wary of them. You had had past experiences that were. . .unsavory: being catcalled, the uncomfortable conversations with men who approached you in scarcely populated gas stations at night, the jokes no woman in her right mind would find funny, and even some experiences that to this day keep you up at night wondering what your fate would have been if you had done even the slightest thing differently.
You tried to trust the clearly good-hearted people who you logically knew had no ulterior motives hidden behind their kindness, but it was hard. Traumas are not easily forgotten or healed.
That's why, when the events with Octavinelle went down, you were on the verge of hyperventilating. You were friends with Ace and Deuce, and you trusted them as much as you could muster yourself to allow, but that was them. You didn't know, and certainly didn't trust, everyone who resided in Heartslabyul.
Jack's offer didn't seem much better to you, but when it came down to it, you didn't exactly have any other options.
The arrangement ended up being that you would stay with Leona in his room. You weren't sure if you'd prefer this over staying in a packed room with more people.
He barely acknowledged you, or, at least, it seemed that way at first. As your short time staying with him passed, you noticed some things. For one, Ruggie always complained that when he was waking up Leona, the lion wouldn't even wait for Ruggie to get out of the room to begin getting dressed, but Leona had always changed in the bathroom connected to his room for as long as you had stayed there. He also never got too close to you; and when anyone else did, he'd come up with a conveniently timed task for them to do. He didn't use his bathroom for anything other than changing while you were there, and instead used the dorm showers, leaving you his bathroom to yourself.
Don't get me wrong, he didn't go easy on you. He simply respected you and your right to space and privacy. You aren't sure if this was simply how he was raised, if he had noticed your wariness and acted so as not to worsen it, or if it was a mix of both.
By the end of your stay in Savanaclaw, you had somehow managed to find a sense of security in being there with the lion.
As time passed after your stay at Savanaclaw, you found yourself continuing to sit in the botanical garden during lunch. When Crowley decided you would be required to join a club, you joined the Spelldrive Club as a manager. On the rare occasion you had joint alchemy classes with Leona's class, he was unexpectedly present to class and would always 'begrudgingly' agree to be your partner.
However, what really cemented him in your mind as someone who could be trusted was the incident.
You had to stay after school as Grim had caused trouble again and gotten the two of you into detention. You were allowed to leave a bit early as you hadn't caused as much trouble, and you did because you had errands you had some items you needed to pick up from Sam's shop before it closed for the night.
As you walked through the hallways, you were distracted making a mental grocery list. In your somewhat spacey state, you bumped into another student.
He accused you of bumping into him purposefully and it soon became clear he wasn't planning to let you go unscathed. He was massive compared to you, so you knew that if things were to get physical you wouldn't have a great chance of coming out of things on top, so, you did the only thing you could do at the time and ran.
The other student shouted after you and took chase. You ran for what felt like an eternity. Your legs burned so bad you were astonished you were still managing to take steps, and your lungs felt as though they were on the verge of imploding. You weren't consciously thinking of where you were going as you ran, but you found yourself approaching the botanical garden with the other student hot on your heels.
Telling yourself that if you just gained a little more distance you'd be able to find a spot in the plants to hide without him noticing, you urged your legs to pick up the pace.
However, luck wasn't on your side, and, when you got into the garden, you tripped over an uneven brick on the path and toppled face first into the unforgiving stone. You skidded painfully across the bricks, your knees and palms being skinned in the process.
You did your best to scramble to your feet, but your legs had finally given out.
"Gotcha."
You heard a sickening voice not that far away as footsteps approached you at far too fast a rate for you to crawl into a bush before he reached you.
It was when you were searching the foliage on the sides of the path that you noticed what you had at first mistaken as a stick laying in the path, but upon further inspection you realized to be a tail.
You took in a deep breath before screaming "LEONA!" and praying it would be enough to wake the lion.
"The hell are you babbling about!" The voice of the other student snarled before you felt a harsh grip on your collar yank you up. "I was originally just gonna make you pay up for bumping into me so rudely, but after that chase you put me through, I think my fists have some anger pent up."
You ducked your head and braced for impact, but it never came. What did come was a soft warmth that caught you and held you up once the student's hand had finally released its grip on you. When you opened your eyes, you saw a clearly ticked off Lion.
He had one arm snaked under your shoulder and around your stomach to keep you up, and his other had a firm grip on the guy's wrist.
You were too dazed and hyped up on adrenaline to take in the words the two exchanged, but you swore you heard a crack moments before Leona let go of his wrist. The guy fled and were sure that if he were a beastman he'd have his tail between his legs.
You were torn out of your daze by an uncharacteristically soft, but still gruff voice: "Can you walk?"
It took you a moment to form words, but you eventually managed to reply: "I'm not hurt, but-"
Before you could finish your sentence, your legs were swept out from under you. A brief "'scuse me" left Leona's lips as he picked you up, and an unfamiliar feeling blossomed in your chest.
Seeing the shift in your expression, Leona sighed "Look, I know you like your personal space, but you can't walk and I'd feel like crap if I left ya out here, so I gotta carry you to the infirmary. I woulda asked, but it's not like I could get ya there any other way. You can punch me later if ya want."
The trip to the infirmary was silent. Thoughts raced through your head, but one of the most prominent was: "I called out for him."
You had no other choice but to come to terms with the terrifying realization that you trusted this man. For better or for worse, you trusted him. . .and while it scared you, it also bloomed this warm feeling in your chest.
You let your head fall against his chest as he carried you, and if he took note of that, he didn't let it show.
After you got checked out at the infirmary and reported the incident to Professor Crewel (because we all know Crowley is too incompetent at his job to do anything), Leona walked you back to your dorm.
The two of you never verbally acknowledged the events of that day again, nor did you talk about the feelings that came with them.
He was never not there after that, and you didn't mind the company.
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bbyg4rl · 1 day ago
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snoop
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cw: bf!jj x reader, slight smut, use of toys (vibrator), squirt !
summary: your bf wants a show with you and your vibrator. MDNI
< edging, squirt, overstimulation, all he does is watch, slight exhibitionism i think (?) >
a/n: ik all im writing is smut but i promise i will write fluff soon !!!
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Your boyfriend was a snoop. You knew that. Just blame it on his kleptomaniac tendencies, It wasnt ever in an attempt to pry on you. No, no, he just liked looking around. Your bedroom was like his own treasure hunt.
One drawer led to your panties, another one to your bras, so on and so forth. But what he never expected to find in one of those drawers was a vibrator. He assumed it was from before you guys were together. You had no use for a vibrator now that you had a JJ at your beck and call. But he'd have to admit, thinking of you pleasuring yourself with a vibrator.. it excited him.
Your boyfriend and his silver tongue always won, He could persuade someone into commiting a federal crime if he really put his mind to it. You had no idea why you'd even agreed to this.. oh but how can you say no to JJ's bright blue puppy dog eyes?
He'd beed trying to convince you to use a vibrator on yourself while hovering over his face for a week now.
Now that you agreed to try it- he wasted no time. He'd spent the whole day giddy, waiting for you to come back from work. He even charged up the vibrator himself.
Thats how you ended up in this position- JJ had you face down ass up as he laid between your thighs. His hot breath hitting the expanse of your heat every time he let out a breath. One of his hands held your folds open as your right hand held the toy to your clit, Your left clenched against the sheets beside you in an attempt to balance yourself.
You would've collapsed onto his face long ago if it wasn't for his other hand holding you up by your waist. He watched your pussy clench around nothing like it was his favourite trashy tv show. This was his peak entertainment. Having a close up view to your heat while you played with yourself was a literal wet dream come true. It made him feel like he was the chief guest to the best event in the world.
You'd think he'd want to watch you cum the way he gawked at you, but no- when has this pogue ever done the easy thing? No, no, He wanted you to squirt.
Squirt straight onto his face.
He wanted to watch as your cum shot out of your pussy and onto his face, he wanted the full experience.
Which was basically code for edging you.
Even from under you, he was dominant. Telling you to speed up or slow down whenever he felt like it. This wasn't for your pleasure. No, This was his choice of reality tv.
"You can go faster princess" He taunted from his place under you.
"P-Please I can't-" was all you could muster out.
You'd been going for almost an hour by now. JJ led you so close to your climax only to drag you back. This would be the 7th time he'd drag you away from the finish line. Oh, how badly you wanted to reach it.
"Faster and ill let you cum baby" He cooed, rubbing soft circles on your waist.
You should've known better than to listen to him. Just as you felt yourself nearing the edge again, he pulled your hand away.
"Fuck JJ- Please-" You begged him, tears staining the pillows.
All he did in response was chuckle. You felt so desperate in that moment, He'd been torturing you for an hour. You wanted to finish so badly you were ready to fight him just to cum.
"Last time baby, I promise" he said from under you as if to solace your desperate cries for release.
A sane person wouldn't have believed him. But you weren't sane. You were far from sane, You wanted to cum. and you wanted to cum bad.
Fortunately for you, He'd started feeling pity for you. You were his girl after all. He loved making you feel good. And thats exactly what he was going to do.
JJ took the still vibrating toy from your hand, leaving you to balance yourself alone. He held the toy to your clit with one hand while the other spread your puffy folds open so he could watch.
He moved it up-down, left-right, eventually he pressed it into your swollen bundle of nerves, a smirk covering his features as you whimpered and shook above him. He blew cold air to your cunt, watching as it clenched around his breath. So empty, he couldnt wait to fill it up.
"You wanna cum darling? " He asked softly, giving your hole featherlight kisses.
"Yes, P- Please" You sniffled, overstimulated out of your mind.
As an act of mercy, he changed the vibrator to its highest setting.
"Cum for me then" he hummed, His soft southern drawl making your pussy flutter.
And that's all it took. Like clockwork you were gushing all over him, His wish fulfilled as you squirted all over his face and open mouth. He moaned as you bathed his face in your climax.
You collapsed on top of him as you finished, your drenched pussy squished against his forehead as he let out a soft chuckle. He turned off the vibrator, putting it away as his hands reached your waist and pulled you down over him so you were now resting on his chest.
"Thank you sweetness" he gave you a kiss on your forehead. Holding you close as you passed out in his arms.
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neuronary · 2 days ago
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#The Chase is them chasing him all over the Earth Kingdom#Azula meanwhile keeps getting thoughts about being the best and Earth Rumbles. only one of these is abnormal.#I'm sure that'll be fine#atla#avatar the last airbender#platonic brain polycule let's goooo#Zuko#Sokka#Aang#the gaang
I haven't touched a:tla in years but if there's one thing MuffinLance can do it's inspire me.
---
Azula keeps dreaming that she is blind.
It's strange, not least because when she dreams it it does not seem strange in the slightest, but it has alerted her to a weakness, and she cannot abide weaknesses.
The servants never question her (they are too afraid of her, which is meant to feel good but mostly feels twisty in the very depths of her stomach like if she thinks of Mai and Ty Lee for too long) so she is almost always left to her own devices. She knows they watch her, think her strange, as she wanders the palace halls, a blindfold over her face, tracing the walls until she has mapped every corner.
She'll know it better than the face in the mirror when she's finished. Better than her hands, which are her father's, and her hair, which is her mother's. This will be her's.
---
"Okay, what the fuck," Toph says, upon sitting up.
"Language," The Boulder says tiredly. "C'mon, I told you guys to watch it around her."
"Are you, alright, Bandit?" Headhunter asks. "This is the third time this week."
"I'm fine," Toph grumbles, because she is fine, she just keeps randomly falling asleep when she usually stays up way later and it's annoying more than anything.
"Maybe you should--" the Gecko begins. He is cut off by Toph hurling rocks at him.
---
It's good. Mai and Ty Lee are with her again and it's good. They're hers and she's finally got them back and that's good.
Azula ignores the little voice in her head that thinks that's sort of fucked up. That is decidedly not hers and therefore none of her concern.
---
Toph is pretty sure you can't own people. Or at least, if you do, it's very bad. That's not how having friends works. Except she finally has friends, for the first time in her whole life, and she's not totally sure it counts.
There's something... off. It's like she's always standing on the outside of their little circle. Like there's always something they're not telling her. Like the feeling of someone else shifting the earth beneath her feet before she wrenches it back from them.
She doesn't like it.
Maybe they're not her friends, because they're clearly not hers.
She throws more rocks at the Avatar and doesn't think about it.
---
When Azula dreams of her brother's faceless voice, it is not unusual; she doesn't know what he looks like anymore, although she can guess. When she dreams of him laughing, easily, surrounded by friends, it is unusual.
Mai and Ty Lee are there when she sleeps, sometimes uncontrollably. They both seem to understand that the world has changed for her, with the shifting of the ground and the sounds of the air singing far more than the visual cues she used to rely upon.
She can't trust anyone, she knows that. But if she could, she would trust them. Them, and the little voice in the back of her head that is definitely not hers.
---
Toph cannot see when she is awake and she cannot see when she dreams. That is what it means to be blind.
"What troubles you, young earthbender?" Uncle asks. Everyone just calls him 'Uncle' even though he's only Zuko's and nobody bothered telling her his name. Well. She's not going to ask.
Toph cannot see when she dreams her own dreams but sometimes. Sometimes she dreams of calligraphy brushes and play scrolls and classrooms and somehow she recognises them.
(Sometimes, she dreams of a long platform and two figures and flames and sometimes she is frozen and sometimes she screams and screams until everything is blue.) (She shouldn't even know what blue is.)
"Nothing," Toph says, flicking her foot and sending a rock the size of Uncle's stomach flying.
"What the hell, Toph?" the others all demand in perfect unison.
"Nothing," she repeats, soundless underneath their shared laughter.
Uncle's heartbeat thumps worried.
Toph ignores him.
---
"You can go home," Azula says after waking, feeling sick at herself and shaky. She cannot abide weakness. "You can go home, if you want. I'm not keeping you here."
"Why would I want to do that?" Mai drawls, picking underneath her nails with one of her knives.
Ty Lee smiles sympathetically. "Are you having nightmares?" The 'again' is silent.
"No," Azula lies, because one truth is one too many and she cannot abide weakness.
"We're not going home," Ty Lee agrees after a moment. "Where would be the fun in that?"
Azula should simply nod, accepting their loyalty, act as though it was a test. She feels sand in her throat at the thought. "Good," she says, half her voice, half another.
"Go back to sleep, you two," Mai grumbles, "or do you want to take my watch?"
When Azula dreams, she dreams of their days at the Royal Academy, before things were complicated and the worst part of her life was her mother's complaints. She dreams of Mai and Ty Lee and a girl in green who smiles as wide as Ty Lee and laughs twice as loud.
---
These people are nothing to you, it occurs to Toph as Aang shouts at her, like it's her fault they all left her to guard everything, like they didn't all leave her outside the library just like they leave her on the outside of everything else. Her hands are almost shaking with the rage that builds up in her, half hers, half another's, but all there, tight in her chest.
"How could you abandon him?" Aang cries.
The snap is more mental than audible.
"How could I do anything else?" Toph screams back. "How am I supposed to know what to do when none of you tell me anything?! Would you rather I let all of the rest of you get buried in that stupid library? Would that have just been a convenient way to get rid of me? Don't think I can't tell that you all hide things from me! What, is it some kind of signal the stupid little blind girl can't see? Well, this little blind girl saved all of your lives, so maybe you should be a little grateful! Maybe I shouldn't even bother with any of you!"
She hates them, all of them, with their stupid inside jokes, and their stupid expectations, and their stupid secret language she can't see.
They're all idiots, clearly. They hang around with Zuzu.
They apologise, after a while, because she's right, and they promise they didn't mean to exclude her.
"It's just that we've all got this spooky spirit psychic link," Sokka explains, a few days later. "We can kind of hear each others' thoughts and see each others' dreams. It's weird."
They can see each others' dreams. Huh.
"Huh," Toph says.
---
Azula dreams of the Fire Lord condemning her failure. She dreams of flames. She dreams of watching Zuko burn and being Zuko burning and of screaming. It's a familiar scene, up until it isn't.
Suddenly, as she dreams of being Zuko, burning because she failed, she dreams instead of the earth bursting forth to crush the Fire Lord. She dreams of him vanishing down, deep underground. She dreams of walls of earth and mud and stone rising between them, of flames bouncing helplessly off rocks.
She dreams of great beasts that make the earth rumble and feel more like home than the palace ever did.
When she wakes up, Mai and Ty Lee are watching her with a frown.
No matter how strange her dreams become, Azula knows reality. She has no choice.
"We're going to get into Ba Sing Se," she says, "and we're going to kill the Avatar."
---
Ba Sing Se is awful, just like Toph thought it would be. Everybody is still keeping things from her, and it hurts regardless of whether or not they mean it.
She's been having nightmares, too. Or, rather, the girl whos dreams she's seeing is having nightmares, and Toph can't seem to help all that much. She wishes she could do more, could save the girl's brother, but the fear paralyses her almost as badly as it paralyses her dreammate. It's all she can do to protect this girl, this firebender who is deathly afraid of the Fire Lord.
"Toph?" says Sokka. "We're going out to put up the Appa posters. Don't forget to bring a snack."
Toph grabs at the fruit bowl and comes away with an orange. She scowls and shoves it in her pocket; she's never been able to peel oranges properly. It's still in her pocket when she is captured.
---
They won't bother to rescue me, comes the thought, bitter and resigned and very much not her's.
They'll take too long to even notice that I'm gone.
Azula pauses her planning. It's taken some time to understand, but she's fairly certain that the voice in her head, the girl in green from her dreams, and the earthbender guarding her nightmares are one and the same. This is just the last piece of the puzzle.
"Mai," she says quietly, considering. "Ty Lee. Would you leave me for a moment? I need to meditate."
They share a look, concerned, that makes her fond in a way she wouldn't have been before this, but they leave.
---
These people are nothing, the other girl in Toph's head reassures her through her panic. What people say is impossible is nothing for people like us.
She breathes. In, and out, like the badgermoles taught her (like her father taught her).
Toph stands up and feels for the earth, for the parts of it that remain, no matter what is done to it.
Toph breathes, and stands up, and bends metal.
Anything is possible.
---
Azula watches the earthbender listen to the Avatar's sky bison leave, the beating of its limbs through the air above them roaring like a great flame.
Uncle Iroh twists to look at her, already trapped by the Dai Li. "Toph," he says, warningly, and the tone reminds Azula of every time he scolded her for retaliating against Zuko, every time he sided with her mother, every time he told her that's not a lady's way. In any case, the earthbender ignores him and turns to trudge towards them, shoving a hand into her pocket as she goes.
When she stops in front of Azula, she's holding out an orange.
"I think this is for you," the earthbender says.
You're mine, she thinks. You're mine to protect, like I'm yours, aren't I?
Azula takes the orange. "Yes," she says. "Yes, I think you're right."
Some spirit manages to get the gaang and zuko a link that connects their minds. They can share thoughts and their past with each other.
Tweaking this to “and they share dreams” because that’s how I started writing it.
---
“Okay,” Sokka says, wrapping his sleeping bag around himself, and grabbing a comfort Momo, too. “Who’s dream was that?”
No one ‘fesses up. But it was kind of a rude question, and also a little rhetorical, anyway.
They all have nightmares with fire.
Having the Fire Lord himself looming over them, while they were on their knees? Not exactly a stretch.
---
“Okay,” Sokka says, “how does Prince Jerkface keep finding us?”
---
“Okay,” Sokka says, “how did he know that seal jerky seasoned just right with honey—not too much, just enough to add a sparkle of sweetness to the depths of savoriness, a perfect balance for the distinguished tongue to relish—was the perfect bait for his Sokka and Sokka-affliated-parties trap?”
“Maybe if you stop dreaming about it, Sokka,” Katara snaps.
...And they all stop.
---
“I’m going to think really really hard about being friends,” Aang says.
“I’m going to think really really hard about that time my boomerang hit him,” says Sokka.
---
Snatching the boomerang out of midair? Impressive.
Ignoring the Avatar to go hit Sokka with it? Repeatedly? Uncalled for.
---
“Sokka. The city is under attack. Right now.”
“Okay,” Sokka says. “But this is a strategic nap, Katara. We need to know what evil things our Evil Other is up to.”
It’s not like the evil fleet part was a surprise, at least. They’ve been dreaming of it for weeks.
---
“Okay,” Sokka says, looking down. “So the ship-blowing-up-thing. Not a nightmare?”
“No,” says Zuko, glaring up with his glare-face all glare-ful but his thoughts mostly full of bruises so deep they’re making Sokka’s ribs ache, and also his legs are going numb.
“Going to get out of the turtle-seal tunnel now?” Sokka asks, still standing over the opening. With his boomerang.
“...No,” the Prince of the Fire Nation says, as he clings onto the edge of the hole, his legs still very much in freezing water.
---
“Okay,” Sokka says, when they have a Fire Prince all tied up in Blankets of Imprisonment. “So. What actually was your plan here? Do not,” he interrupts, before the teenage-shaped bloodhound-leech can do more than open his mouth, “say ‘capture the Avatar.’”
The prince closes his mouth. Glares. And kind of fuzzes at the edges, in the way all of them do when they’re about to fall asleep.
BOOMERANG, Sokka thinks, and Prince Largely Ineffective As An Enemy jerks back upright. His Momo hat chitters a complaint.
“Since we both know your answer is ‘I had no plan, Sokka, ‘plan’ starts with ‘p’ and there’s no ‘p’ in ‘Avatar’’, we’re going to play a game instead. It’s called ‘sleepy prince free association interrogation time.’”
“...What?”
“Battle plans,” Sokka says. “Attack. Fire Navy fleet. Ship numbers.”
Alas, “Fire Nation intelligence” is not something with which the prince’s brain is overly burdened.
“...Are you insulting me?”
“Are you proving my point?”
Elsewhere, Yue laughs in all their heads. Zuko flinches. The prince has a very marked reaction to the laughter of princesses.
---
“Okay,” says Sokka. “So that just happened.”
Commander Mutton Chops is groaning. Kind of flopping. Much like the bag he tried to fireball. Yue picks it up, and gently wrangles a fish back into water. Sokka is still not clear on what the fish-napping was about.
“It’s the Moon,” Aang says. “Or maybe the Ocean?”
Aang’s thoughts are full of a FACE STEALING EVIL CENTIPEDE MONSTER THAT IS JUST ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE THIN VEIL OF REALITY and that is NOT helping Sokka think.
“Okay,” he says again. “So. At least we can all agree on one thing.”
This is a very diplomatic way of saying they all wanted to dropkick Zhao. But some of them wanted to do it more than others.
The prince of the Fire Nation is even paler than normal, and staring across the clearing at his uncle.
“I can explain,” the prince says, while he’s thinking, oh shit treason oh crap uncle wouldn’t hurt me thought that about father too
Sokka wordlessly plucks Momo from the edge of the pond, where he’s been swiping at the spirit-fish, and drops him on the prince’s head.
Everyone needs a comfort Momo, now and again.
---
“A raft, Zuko?” Sokka says. Outloud. Because it makes things louder when you say it and think it. “A raft?”
Aang is bouncing on his toes. “We should go get him.”
The Avatar is grinning. And thinking, really hard and deliberately, as behind them the Water Tribe ship finishes packing, We should capture the Fire Prince,
“Okay,” Sokka says, with a grin.
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twistedpink · 2 days ago
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Ask 2/2
Friendzoned Leona trying to get OUT! Let him smash!!!
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I can see a new thing (like sneaky link but more comical) being friendzoned and trying to escape for the guys.
LET HIM SMASH!! This was so fun
Friendzoned!Leona is shamelessly obsessed with you, and he hates it. Hates that he can’t treasure you like you deserve- That he’s been pushed aside again and again just for you to seek out bottom of the barrel herbivores to warm your bed and share your time. Hates that he’s been left hungry, and that you have the power to fix it. You know it, even going as far to tease him! He hates that you’re so clever..
Friendzoned!Leona that’s domestic and shit for you- because that’s what friends do, don’t they? But your other friends don’t order breakfast just the way you like, or smother you in muscle to will you for a nap. You’re pretty sure his friends don’t get that treatment,, He’s even wormed his way into sharing a bathroom! It’s so convenient, and you’re the one making it weird when you shame him for walking around shirtless. It’s his damn room, so aren’t you being a bad friend for taking up a perfectly communal space? Don’t be shy, you’re used to taking eyefulls of your other friends- How’s he any different?
Friendzoned!Leona’s tired of all your gossip and whining,, Wouldn’t you rather take your mind off it? His hand sneaks beneath your waistband, and he kisses you breathless - You say he’s beautiful. That he’s someone’s perfect match - and he’s pushed away. Like he always is, because there’s bound to be someone better. Some.. soulmate that you click with, kind and handsome,, He’s right here. You just don’t see it. It’s not like you’re taking advantage of the guy! Friendzoned!Leona just has needs that you’re,, a little unfit for. Getting into relationships is supposed to be a magical thing! Sure you cuddle, and kiss, and hang out all the time, but you could never do that with a boyfriend! You’d be too busy cuddling, and kissing, and hanging out.. Damn it. You hope he doesn’t take it the wrong way- After all, you’re such great friends! Why ruin it with labels?
Friendzoned!Leona is without a doubt, your best friend. He might not seek you out as much as you’d like, but he cares in his own way! It’s inevitable that your boyfriends go to him for advice, and isn’t he so helpful? Telling them exactly how you like to be touched, what makes you roll over or bare your fangs.. There’s no way he’s the reason your relationships are so short lived! They’re just jealous of your friendship,, It’s not his fault he’s such a good rebound >:(
Friendzoned!Leona’ll always be there for you, so there’s no need to worry your pretty head about it! When you wake up beside him after a movie marathon just don’t mind him reaching for your phone. Oh, that guy ghosted you? It’s not that weird- It’s not like he knew you. At least, not like Leona, because there’s no one who knows you that well. Keep playing footsies with him under the covers, and one day something’s bound to snap.. He’s a very patient lion, so he’s sure you’ll enjoy the change when the time comes. For now, can’t you lay off the dating? For a friend? <3
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iheartsophie · 2 days ago
Text
Surprise!!
Harry Lewis (W2S) x Fem!Reader (3.6k words)
Summary: Reader surprises Harry during the Sidemen’s “$20,000 VS $200 HOLIDAY” after not seeing eachother for a month
Warnings: Swearing, PDA, small panic attack, NOT PROOF READ!!!!
Author note: i linked “I Got U” as a song because i feel like that is the most summer feeling song i know and im missing summer rn
So a bit of backstory, Josh has planned a $20,000 vs $200 holiday an he called me around two weeks ago asking if I would join in the video and surprise Harry as well as the other lads- of course I said yes! I’ve currently been away on a business trip for the past month and I haven’t been able to see Harry, the only way I’ve seen him is on FaceTime which isn’t the same as seeing and hearing his voice in person. Every week when the boys have been recording they’ve secretly been messaging me and sending me photos of Harry moping around and complaining about how he won’t see me for an extra week due to the holiday video. The only people who do know are Josh, Kon, Kirsty, Cal and Freezy. Cal and Freezy are also tagging along to surprise the boys.
As soon as my last business meeting was over I rushed out of the doors and directly onto the train home because I needed to pack as soon as possible because I would not have time to in the morning because Mr. Josh Zerkaa decided to book the earliest flight in existence, Cal and Freezy were fine with it; me on the other hand, I was fuming… because that means I’m missing out on my beauty sleep!
(The night before surprising Harry… )
After the excruciatingly long train ride from Manchester to London I was finally back home at mine and Harry’s shared apartment, it was weird walking in through the doors and not having Harry greet me at the door was a hug and a kiss.. but I reminded myself I would be in the same country as him in just short of 17 hours. I headed towards our bedroom and threw on some pjs which consisted of one of Harry’s t shirts and some shorts. Packing was a nightmare, let’s just put it that way. I had not been on holiday in so long and I had forgotten how stressful it is making sure you have enough necessities to last you the time you’re away and also making sure you have not forgotten anything… So I just grabbed all of my clothes that were in my “summer side” of the wardrobe and tried to stuff it into one suitcase and that did not work, so I ended up with two family sized suitcases almost bursting at the seams full of my things.
As soon as I had finished packing I went to make a quick pot noodle in the microwave as I knew I wouldn’t tend to the dishes in the morning and I don’t want to come back to messy dishes after the holiday and I definitely don’t think Harry would either. As I was eating my pot noodle my phone started buzzing, I looked at the contact “Bog 💙” - I answered straight away
(Italic- Harry)
“Hello (y/n/n)”
“Hiya babe you okay? How’s the trip so far?”
“Could be better… The trip is alright , I’m on the good team so that’s good I guess, could be better if you were here”
“Aww I’m missing you too, don’t get yourself down love, only 5 more days left! Then you’ll be back home and we can go see that movie you wanted to see if you’re up for it”
“I know and of course I want to go to the movie are you mad! My all time favourite movie franchise ever”
(I giggled as I heard JJ, Tobi and Josh in the background telling harry to get off the phone and go to the sauna with them)
I shouted down the phone
“Oi you lot shut your mouth we are talking over here! Anyways, I best get going I need to call Cal and Freezy to make sure they’re up and ready early in the morning tomorrow”
Shit, I’ve slipped up…
Harry frowned at me through the phone
“What do you mean? Why do you need to do that?”
What do I say? Think y/n. Think!
“Oh! Did I not tell you? We’re going on a hike tomorrow, yeah! To the Lake District?”
“Ohhh okay, yeah best let you go then. Love you!”
“Love you too, bye!”
That was close… I can’t believe that just happened. How did I manage that? Anyways, I put my empty pot noodle in the bin and put the fork in the dishwasher to deal with later. I went into the bathroom and completed my night routine and got into bed, and quickly messaged Cal and Freezy to have their alarms set and where we will meet at the airport in the morning. Soon after that I dozed off…
(Time skip to the getting off the train)
As I was getting off the train I got a message from harry:
“Bog 💙: Have a nice day with the boys, please don’t push them off the mountain🙏, love you”
I sent a quick message back:
“I’ll try my hardest, love you too”
I somehow bumped into Cal and Freezy at the train station instead of at the airport, they both brought their cameras to get footage of us on the way their so the editors can put it in and we have our own little segments in the video. “Look who we have here…” Cal teased, “Mrs. Harry Lewis”. “Not a mrs yet, I’m still waiting” I corrected while holding up my left hand beholding my empty ring finger. After that small segment they put their cameras away and we caught a taxi and made our way to the airport. Getting out of the taxi was a struggle not for the boys, just for me, because of my two huge suitcases it was hard trying to pick them up and out of the boot of the taxi. And instead of the boys ,who are meant to be like brothers to me, helping me get them out they just filmed me while laughing in the background and caught a clip of my tripping over the suitcase which was behind me. “You’re both such dicks, wait till I tell Harry”, “What is Harry going to do? Cause I can bet you £100 right here that he will laugh too.”
We finally made track down the road to the airport and Freezy started filming a little bit with Cal next to him and me behind them still struggling with my suitcases, which you can imagine is causing me some unneeded anger. “As you can see y/n finally got her suitcases out and we are on the way to the best holiday, we are going to the best destination. Thank you sidemen for this holiday, we really appreciate it”, “Bro you’re such an arse licker, you just want to be on the good team if you’re invited again!” I pointed out, Cal turned around to me “Now, now, y/n don’t act like you wouldn’t do the same thing.” I stayed silent and they both laughed.
“We are on our way to meet- surprise them, they have no idea that we’re going I’ve been playing tricks with Harry all week, y/n told us that she nearly slipped up on the plan”, “I didn’t mean to! I feel so bad lying to him, he told me to have a good day in the Lake District and to message him when we get there.. he’s going to be so worried when I don’t message him.”
(Time skip to when we’re in the airport)
Poor Cal is not having a good time, he’s left his phone on the train and now his bag has been chosen for a search and I know this isn’t about me but I just want to get on that plane now, and all of this messing about is causing me to stress so bad and I can’t talk to harry about it because it will give away our secret so I just keep to myself and put my headphones on.
We’re finally on the plane, at last! But the only problem is I haven’t told the boys I’m scared because whenever I’m on a plane I’m usually with Harry and he can just sense my worry and comforts me without me having to tell him or ask him to. Though only Freezy is aware because of when I went skiing with him and Harry and started crying when that plane took off. When plane started to move my breathing started to pick up and I leat my elbows on my knees and looked down. Unbeknownst to me Cal and Freezy looked at each other over my body and mouthed to eachother “Is she alright?” Cal asked, “She’s terrified of flying” Freezy pointed out. Freezy tapped my shoulder for me to look at him and when I did he opened his arms for me to go into and he hugged me while I cried into his shoulder, and whilst I did he was rubbing my back and trying to soothe me the best he could.
It took me a few minutes to calm down and when I did Cal let me watch a movie on his laptop, which lasted almost the whole flight. We finally landed and all three of us made sure we turned out locations of for the boys, whilst we were doing that all the messages that didn’t send because we were on the plane we’re coming through, all of mine were from Harry and a few of the boys..
Bog💙: message me when you arrive so I know you got there safely x
Bog💙: and don’t forget to tell me if Cal slips up the hill again
Bog💙 hello? It’s been 3 hours now surely you’re almost there by now
Bog💙: why aren’t my messages going through are you okay?
Bog💙: babe please tell me you’re okay
Tobi: Harry’s freaking out are you okay? Please let us know
JJ: Fam what are you playing at, are you alr??
(Time skip to getting to the harbour)
I quickly replied to them all reassuring them I’m okay and that I forgot about telling Harry I arrived. Josh messaged us to tell us to meet at the harbour with our suitcases because we can leave them on the yacht when we get to it. So while we were waiting for Josh to get here we found a British bar and we ordered a nice English breakfast each, though while we were waiting I went to the bathroom and got changed into a bikini and put some denim shorts over the top and some of my nice sandals on. We finished our breakfast and Josh arrived outside the bar.
Josh took us to the yacht they had rented and where we were going to surprise the boys, and we chose were we were hiding and a code word Josh will say for when we were to jump out which was “chips”, though they told me to come out a little bit later as an extra EXTRA surprise for harry. Cal and Freezy hid behind the seat were the wheel was and I was at the bottom of the stairs on the lower deck, enough to hear Josh but also enough so Tobi, JJ, and harry walk last and don’t suspect anything.
Everything was in place and ready to go. Now we were just waiting and anticipating the boys’ arrival. Josh mumbled that he could see the boys and I slightly looked over the steps to make sure Cal and Freezy were hidden and I couldn’t see them so I did I little nod to myself and ducked back down because they finally listened to something for once. I could started to hear the boys, I could hear Tobi repeating “you’re a king, you’re a king” to Josh and JJ saying “oh my god” and the nervous laugh I could recognise anywhere, harry. I started to get butterflies in my belly coming to terms that I’m seeing harry for the first time in a while.
“I’m buzzing to eat these chips”
All you could hear on the yacht was cheering and laughing. And Harry’s infamous screams. All the boys ran to hug each other and tackled each other. When it all calmed down Harry went silent as if piecing things together, “Whats the matter Harry?” Tobi questioned, “If Cal and Freezy are here, where’s y/n then?” and I took that as my queue to come up the stairs with a tray of drinks. “Hello? Special delivery” ( yes when I was in the lower deck I found the bar and made everyone drinks) Harry just stood up and stared at me, while Tobi and JJ ran up to me, I was quick to put the drinks on the closets surface to save them from being spilt everywhere. I welcomed Tobi and JJ with a hug. When they let go Harry had finally took it all in and realised I was here and ran towards me and tackled me onto the large sofa and gave me the biggest hug and repeating how much he had missed me.
The boys went up to the other side of the boat to give me and Harry some space to speak a bit and catch up, I told him about how my business meeting went well and how my brand is expanding and he was telling me about how the shoots were. We sat in comfortable silence after our conversation and I looked down at his legs and realised he was wearing sweat shorts and frowned, “You know I don’t think those are the best shorts to swim in”, “Don’t worry I’ve got some swim trunks with me”, “Where?”, He reached to his shoulder to prove that he has them and that they’re slung over his shoulder, I started laughing “I think you’ve flung them off the boat in excitement. We both looked over the side of the boat and low and behold there they were, bobbing along in the water. “Oh for fucks sake”
(Time skip)
It was soon time to have a bit of a feast on the boat me and harry sat next to eachother. Cal, Freezy and I weren’t that hungry considering about an hour and a half ago we had a full English, so we just stuck to some picky bits. There were many laughs and stories exchanged at the table mainly questions towards me cal and Freezy about how long we knew about this and how I managed to keep it a secret from harry.
Josh excused himself from the table to answer a phone call from Ethan which we all predicted was him complaint about the conditions he was currently in, we all told Josh to put it on speaker phone so we could hear his complaints and we were all creasing in laughter, at one point I wheezed which all the boys could recognise anywhere. Ethan picked up on it and shouted down the phone “Oi! Was that y/n? What the fuck, traitor! You said you would never go to the good team.” , “I fear you heard me wrong Behz, I said “I would never go to the good team if you were on it” “, my answers errupted in laughter and screams of shock from the boys. I then left and walked away to go a sunbathe and enjoy myself for a while.
With my headphones on and music playing I spent at least an hour sunbathing, unaware of the carnage going on around me. So when I took my headphones off and heard screaming and jet ski engines blaring I was very confused of how they did all this without disturbing me. I got up out of the deck chair and the whole top deck was soaked in wet foot prints and discarded towels, I watched over the side of the boat as the boys were jumping into the deep blue sea. Though all of a sudden I heard wet feet plodding behind me and I turned around to harry creeping up on me. “Harry, no!” “What are you talking about? I’m not going to do anything” I was then picked up and thrown into the water, harry still clinging onto me, “Harold! Why would you do that!” I scolded. “Just helping you cool off,” he shrugged. While all this happened the boys were looking down at us pointing and laughing.
I stayed in the ocean for a while until they started circling me with jet skis and trying to peer pressure me into going on the surf board, which i declined straight away and also the fact I was getting tired from the travelling and then sun beaming down on me. So I climbed back up the ladder and propped a nice parasol up to give me some shade and I decided to have a nap. A couple of minutes later I was woken up by Harry sitting next to me, “Why aren’t you laying down?” I asked, “I didn’t want to wake you and get you wet because you’ve seemed to have dried off and caught the sun already!”, “Don’t be silly come here.” I told him and opened my arms for him to cuddle into, and I started to play with his wet and tousled hair which he hummed in reply to. We both dozed off in each others hold, I did hear a camera shutter near by though I thought nothing of it a just thought it was Kirsty taking pictures of the boys on the jet skis. I jolted awake when I felt this large weight on top of my body and opened my eyes to see all the boys piling on top of me and harry, “what are you doing!” I exclaimed, “we’re basking in the love!” One of them replied and started making kissing noises to eachother, which me and harry both laughed at.
(Time skip to the villa)
Freezy pulled out his camera and started speaking “Lux, y/n this is the first time we’re gonna see it [the villa], we know it’s sick though because we know we’re in the good team.”
We got out of the car and I held Harry’s hand and walked up to the gates, waiting for them to open. Me and harry stayed behind the group because we haven’t had much alone time together since I arrived so we just distanced ourselves a little. I yawned and rubbed my eyes, “You tired?” Harry asked me “oh my gosh yes, I can’t wait to go to bed.” I groaned. When the gates opened my jaw dropped, this place was stunning, I want to live here!
“One thing is though these aren’t filled with water,” harry pointed at the small fountain at the front door, “I may have to leave a four star review because if this.” I slapped Harry’s shoulder jokingly “Don’t even start!” We walked through the front doors and me and JJ looked at eachother and immediately knew what to do, and I let go of Harry’s hand i quickly stood next to JJ and we started to sing the halo theme tune together in the large foyer. As we finished the boys laughed and and Freezy said “Ayy that’s the halo soundtrack!”
The boys started to give us a tour round the place and I was shocked at the size of the kitchen and the the large living room that looks out into the garden and also there’s a lift! They took us to the garden and told Cal, Freezy and I to face away and then turn around. JJ counted us down from 3 and when we turned around my eyes widened- the view was breathtaking…”you’ve got a mountain, in your back garden!” I exclaimed. The tour lasted awhile which I wasn’t surprised about because look at the size of this place. When they mentioned the poker table, mini arcade and the sauna I decided to find mine and Harry’s shared room and unpack my things because those things don’t interest me at all.
I had to memorise the route to mine and Harry’s room and started to unpack and when i finished I plopped myself onto the bed and let out a large sigh out of exhaustion. I heard the bedroom door open and close ,but I was too tired to lift my head up, and I felt the bed sink next to me and someone started to play with my hair. I opened my eyes to see Harry smiling down at me, “Did you see Freezys instagram story?” Harry questioned, “No not yet why?”, “Look..”
Calfreezy posted an instagram story…
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“Aww they’re so cute! - even though I’ve been here for half a day already I’ve had so much fun.” I told harry, “I’m glad, because I’m really happy you’re here because you don’t know how much I’ve missed you, it’s been so boring and lonely coming home to no one for a month!”, “Don’t worry I couldn’t handle it either, I even told them at my meeting that from now on I’m working from home, so I can be with you more often.” Harry smiled and kissed my forehead. “Shall we get a shower and into some pjs and chill downstairs or do you want to watch a movie up here?” He asked me. “I think I want to watch a movie with you!” We went and got our shower and into some pjs which mine -again- consisted of one of Harry’s shirts and some shorts. We got tucked into bed and chose a movie that we both enjoy and I laid back and cuddle into harry and laying my head on his chest. We both fell into a deep slumber, not without saying “I love you” to eachother.
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yanderenightmare · 2 hours ago
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Okkotsu Yuuta
♡ TW: noncon, yandere, kidnapping, bondage, bully reader 
♡ FEM reader
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Thinking about the major power trip Yuuta went through once he figured out how to control his cursed energy. 
Here’s this loser who’s been bullied all throughout life for being such a loner, who suddenly gains unlimited and unsupervised power to do whatever he wants. And he’s never once stood up for himself out of fear that Rika would take it too far—but he’s fully in control now and free to do all those things he’s been too scared to do before.
You used to be one of those bullies back in the day—one of those pretty girls who would laugh and sneer at him while other goons would do their worst of swirlies and wedgies and gut punches. He hasn’t seen you in years already, but there hasn’t been a day he hasn’t thought about you. Old, twisted emotions of hatred and want brewing in the darkest pits of his gut. He can still remember that evil look of glee in your eyes each time you’d say or do something horrid.
He wonders if he has that same awful look in his eyes now as he stands over you—terrified, lying in his bed with your hands and feet tied.
He doesn’t even remember how he got you there. He must have blacked out completely, and yet, the knots of rope are tied so neatly he must have known what he was doing.
You’re in what you wore to bed—a pair of panties and a little crop top. He’s actually never seen a girl so bare before—only two flimsy articles away from being naked. It makes him blush—big and dour-eyed, scanning every curve of your smooth skin, feeling his throat get tight.
Your mouth’s taped shut—he isn’t interested in anything you’d have to say. But he’s left your eyes. He can’t tell if you recognize him. But the fear within them makes him feel so good he’s never been harder in his entire life.
Still, he doesn’t know if he can go through with it. It’s a strange feeling—how your shivering and tears make him feel both ashamed and yet so very horny he might cum in his pants just from looking at you. 
He thinks of the you from back then—what an absolute bitch you were—all your mean words and hard glares, ugly comments whispered in your friend’s ear while looking down on him, giggling behind a hand as if it were some big secret you were talking shit—as if you hadn’t just poured rotten milk over his head in front of everyone.
Yeah… you deserve this.
You try worming away from him once he crawls on top of you, but the way he’s tied you makes it a pointless struggle. It should make him feel worse, but oddly enough, it just makes him want to touch you more. Your skin is so soft it gives him chills, manhandling you just the way he sees fit. 
It seems crazy to him that something with teeth as sharp as yours can also look like the sweetest thing in the world. To anyone else, he must look like the bad guy. But he knows, and you know—you’re no victim.
With your hands tucked under your back, you’re completely pinned beneath him as he straddles your legs. You whine, but he pays you no mind—carefully lifting your top up further.
His body sags with a sigh at the sight. They’re even more perfect than he’d dreamed, and they feel even better in his hands—soft and squeezable.
It’s so fucked up—you have the ugliest personality he knows, and yet you're just as pretty as he remembers. He hates you, and yet you’re the only one he wants this way.
He bends down and wraps his mouth around your nipple—it’s perky and warm and makes him groan with a shudder—rocking his clothed bulge against your thigh with a string of moans.
He can’t believe your pussy is just a thin little layer of cotton away—waiting for him just beneath a pink print of cartoon bunnies. He doesn't know why, but he really likes that more than the black lace he’d expected. 
Suppose it makes you fit the role more—his prey.
Just knowing he’s going to fuck you makes him feel like the most powerful guy in the world. He wants to make you cum until you can’t even remember your own name.  He wonders if you’re a virgin, too, but he doubts it.
“I’ve seen you had so many tongues down your throat, it wouldn’t surprise me if you’ve had dick just as much.”
But that’s okay. He’s going to make sure this time is special. 
His body drapes yours with all its weight as endless thoughts of what he’s going to do to you flood his head. He moans, making drool spill over your chest where his mouth covets your breast while he keeps rutting into you—he’ll make you feel so good you fall in love with him.
And it’s sad how the thought alone instantly makes his boxers fill with stickiness.
And it’s only sadder as the post-nut-clarity hits because he’s left with a heavy feeling of grief with not having filled your womb instead. 
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♡ OKKOTSU YUTA masterlist ♡ JUJUTSU KAISEN masterlist
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seitmai · 3 days ago
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“That far along, huh? Are we going to have to bribe someone to lie about the date on the marriage certificate?”
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“Why can’t I take her on a proper date?” He looks the man up and down. The scrawny little kid has filled out. But the reputation of a son raised by a single mom still lingered. A son who had to get a job far too young to make sure that he and his mother could survive. A son that was accepted into college, and now about to graduate Harvard law. And still he isn’t good enough for you. He is no good. And never would be.
So sad and unfair🥺
“I want to marry your daughter.” “Over my dead fucking body,” Andy’s cheerful face turns sour, and he glares at your father. “You know nothing about my daughter.” “I know that she prefers the moon over the sun. I know that her favorite flower is a lily, but your wife thinks her room looks better with roses and daisies. I know that she wants a big family, and wants to live just out of the city. I know she wants a dog, a golden retriever, and name her Bagel,” your dad stumbles back on that. You said you never would tell anyone that unless you knew they loved you. “I know she loves baking, and she loves to read. I know that you taught her to type.”
Period👏��
“You have no idea,” he gets the most devious plan. It’s not as evil as it may sound. Andy plans on marrying you anyways. Currently he doesn’t have your father’s blessing, and this way wouldn’t exactly be a blessing. But at least he couldn’t say no. You are just like every other girl, and would only get the proper talk until you were engaged. You didn’t fully understand how babies are made, or the ways that Andy could love you, and evour you.
Ohhh i see where this is going 👀
His car turns in a different direction. The house was supposed to be a surprise. But he was also supposed to be given your dad’s blessing. It’s empty, and a bit bleak right now. But if he’s going to have your properly, he wants it to be in your future home with him.
🥰🥰🥰
You would no longer be a lady, and sex didn’t automatically mean pregnancy, but he wasn’t going to stop until you became pregnant.
A man with a plan 🫡
“Well,” he says softly, pulling you into his body. His meaty hands run up your sides before they’re high enough for his thumbs to caress over your breasts, and you sigh leaning into him. You were in private, and there’s nothing you wouldn’t let Andy do. Or touch.
🤭🤭🤭
Wedding be damned. You can’t stop this now. You want to feel him inside of you. “Andy, I want you in there,” he glances up at you with an almost evil smirk. “Will you show me what that means?” He will marry you. He will make an honest woman out of you. Your father drove him to do things this way.
I mean fair, and they are consenting 🤷🏻‍♀️
“I want a baby with you,” fuck yes. Yes. Just what he was wanting to hear. “I want to marry you, and live here with you, and have you inside me every single night. I want to take care of our sweet babies, and —“ he pulls himself out of you again, causing you to pout, but then he pushes back in with a jolt.
Just what he needed to hear
“You were made for me, Sugar. Nobody can ever take this away from us. I won’t stop fucking you until I plant a baby in your belly.” You’re too far gone to truly understand the implications in that statement. You just nod your sweet little head, opening your legs wider. Andy leans back, pinning both legs to the bed as he watches himself impale you. Your tight little cunt clings to his cock. Even your body didn’t want him to leave you. It was begging for him to stay buried deep inside you.
😮‍💨😮��💨😮‍💨
“You were supposed to marry the astronaut.” “Guess he wouldn’t want to marry some whore, huh, Nana?” You let your hand drift down your stomach, rubbing over the barely there bump. “Andy did ask daddy for his permission to marry me. He said no, but all I’ve ever wanted was to be Mrs. Barber.”
The astronaut comment? Iconic 😅👏🏻
“Don’t feel sorry for me. I wanted this. I begged for him to give us a baby. And now he’s giving me his last name. We have a home, and he has a job, and will move up at the firm. Let me have this happiness. He kept his promise. So let me keep mine.”
The circumstances might be a little fucked up, but it's actually really sweet, let them be in love and married!
Daddy's Pride and Joy
Summary: Andy wanted you. He wanted things right. But your dad refused. What other choice did he have?
Pairings: Andy Barber X Reader
Rating: explicit
Warnings:  explicit language, explicit sexual content, narrow views of sex due to the time period, slut shaming, unprotected sex, breeding kink, PIV sex, first time, creampie, 18+ ONLY
Word Count: 3.9K
Andy Barber Masterlist
*dividers created by @firefly-graphics
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Your mom fiddles around with a bouquet of roses and daisies, refusing to meet your eyes. You’ve heard her talk about how you made a mistake for weeks now. How you put yourself in this position. That you should consider yourself lucky that things are going the way they are. And still you feel her judgemental gaze as she peeks at you over the bouquet.
“Marge?” your grandmother questions your mother. Picking up your dress, she then turns to look at you. “What did you do, you stupid girl?” You hold your head high as your sister starts to zip the dress up. Grunting when she reaches a snag. Well…it is now too tight.
“How far along are you?” You play dumb. The dress wasn’t supposed to be a give away. Your grandmother walks behind you to help your sister. “You could have gone with a bigger dress.”
“It fit last week,” your sister is much too young, and does not understand the adult conversation happening between you and the women who are ashamed of you.
“That far along, huh? Are we going to have to bribe someone to lie about the date on the marriage certificate?”
“No,” Andy told you everything would be okay. And it would be. Everything would be just fine.
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“Marge?” Your dad peeks out the front window, watching as the little boy from down the street pushes you in the swing. “Marge!”
“Yes, dear,” your mother responds. She wipes her hands on her apron as she walks into the living room.
“Who is that boy?” He points to the little boy with the bright blue eyes that had captured your heart the moment he and his mother moved down the street. “Hmm?”
“The kid from the old house up the street,” it isn’t like your father didn’t know this already. He asked about him every time you played with him. The problem was your father didn’t like him. Didn’t think the son of a single mother was good enough for his precious angel.
“The one whose father is in jail?”
“That would be the one. She fancies him.”
“I think he just sees an access to money,” your mother rolls his eyes, as she starts to step back into the kitchen to prepare lunch. “You laugh at me, but kids younger and younger are being taught by their parents the best way to money is finding some stupid girl that has a rich family to marry. He sees an in. A respectable man that owns a magazine, like myself. The heir…”
“We’re not royalty. His mother says he wants to be a lawyer.”
“Bah. That kid is a loser.”
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“Sir,” your father attempts to close the door in Andy’s face, but the younger man places a foot there first. “I would like to take your daughter out on a date.”
“No,” he deadpans. “Is that all?”
“Why can’t I take her on a proper date?” He looks the man up and down. The scrawny little kid has filled out. But the reputation of a son raised by a single mom still lingered. A son who had to get a job far too young to make sure that he and his mother could survive. A son that was accepted into college, and now about to graduate Harvard law. And still he isn’t good enough for you. He is no good. And never would be.
“What do you mean by proper?”
“Oh, umm…I didn’t mean anything by it,” he meant he didn’t want to wait below your window as you snuck out with him. In order to not be spotted, he’d just take you on long walks at night, where eventually the two of you would lay looking at the stars. It was kind of infuriating to have you all alone. But you are a respectable woman. And clothes always stayed on.
“You know, Dwayne down the street mentioned something about you and her. Now, I thought it was a bit crazy to suggest that my daughter was riding in a car with the likes of you after midnight,” Andy stands up straighter. Nothing had ever crossed a line. But he has every intention of marrying you, and would prefer it be done the right way. “I want you to stay away.”
“I want to marry your daughter.”
“Over my dead fucking body,” Andy’s cheerful face turns sour, and he glares at your father. “You know nothing about my daughter.”
“I know that she prefers the moon over the sun. I know that her favorite flower is a lily, but your wife thinks her room looks better with roses and daisies. I know that she wants a big family, and wants to live just out of the city. I know she wants a dog, a golden retriever, and name her Bagel,” your dad stumbles back on that. You said you never would tell anyone that unless you knew they loved you. “I know she loves baking, and she loves to read. I know that you taught her to type.”
“You’re not marrying my daughter. Do you know why?” Andy shakes his head. He has done everything a man should do. He even has a job lined up. He has a home he is going to buy, just for the two of you, and eventually your children, and Bagel. He has a car. He will provide for you. “You’re a piece of shit, born from a piece of shit. Do you not think I know about your bastard father rotting in prison? Do you not think I don’t know about how your mom was making some extra money? You’ll never be good enough for my daughter. Never.”
You lean outside of your window, smiling when you see Andy on the lawn. Throwing your legs out of the window, you shimmy towards the tree branch, and make your way towards the most perfect man you have ever met. Getting down to his arms, where he gives you a bruising kiss. His hand is holding onto you a bit too high on your rib cage, and his thumb grazes over your breast before you jump away from him. He shouldn’t touch you there while at your parents’ home.
“Where are we going tonight?” your voice is so soft as he grips your hand, and leads you down the road and to his parked car. You are so proud of Andy and all that he has earned.
“Did you talk to my dad?” Andy opens the door of the car for you, and closes it before he crosses over to the other side. “Andy, did you talk to him?” He has to let you date Andy now. He is a lawyer. And you weren’t some shy little girl anymore. You wanted to become his wife, and have cute babies with him. And the sooner that this was public, the sooner you can have that, “Andy?”
“He said no,” your arms cross over your chest as you look out the window of the car. “It’s not stopping me.”
“Why is he like this?” it upsets you that your father can’t see the Andy that you see. He is perfect. And he will give you a perfect life.
“Because you’re his oldest daughter. His pride and joy, and he just doesn’t want you to be married off to some boy.”
“Except you’re not some boy,” you give him a smile, scooting over on the seat towards him. Your dainty hand rubs up and down his chest as you snuggle in, “You’re all man.”
“You have no idea,” he gets the most devious plan. It’s not as evil as it may sound. Andy plans on marrying you anyways. Currently he doesn’t have your father’s blessing, and this way wouldn’t exactly be a blessing. But at least he couldn’t say no. You are just like every other girl, and would only get the proper talk until you were engaged. You didn’t fully understand how babies are made, or the ways that Andy could love you, and evour you.
They’d tell you how a woman has wifely duties. But sex with you isn’t a duty. Sex with you almost seems like a life force for him. It is proper to wait for marriage, but this marriage doesn’t seem like it’s going to be approved by your father. And he’d hate to see you leave Andy behind because you needed that.
But…if you were to accidentally fall pregnant how could he say no? You would need to have a man to marry you. What man would marry a sullied woman? Leaving him with no choice but to approve the marriage. Demand it.
It’s not evil. It’s just changing up the way he would like things to go. He doesn’t want you to be looked down upon in the community. He wants you. He doesn’t want to wait. He wants his future wife properly. He’d taken way too many cold showers after leaving you. Relieved himself way too much.
His car turns in a different direction. The house was supposed to be a surprise. But he was also supposed to be given your dad’s blessing. It’s empty, and a bit bleak right now. But if he’s going to have your properly, he wants it to be in your future home with him. You would no longer be a lady, and sex didn’t automatically mean pregnancy, but he wasn’t going to stop until you became pregnant.
Andy has always played the long game with you. He knew the moment he saw this sweet little girl rocking in her saddle shoes as you stood there holding out a coloring book and crayons for him, and told him that you have a swing that he was in love. He fell instantly and even told his mom that he was going to marry you. And he will. Even if you have to get pregnant out of wedlock for it to happen.
“Andy, where are we going? We’ve never been here before?” You ask after a while of silence. You are perfectly content rubbing on your boyfriend as he drives. He gets all fidgety and squirrelly when you do. It makes you feel better knowing his heart is racing just like yours always does around him.
“I bought us something.”
“Oh?” You look up at him with doe eyes, and kiss him on his neck. Giggling when he makes that sound. Kissing on his neck always makes him squirm. You love watching him adjust how he’s sitting and even how he pulls you closer to him. Letting his hands roam where they want to roam. You don't mind as long as you are alone.
“It might not be much. But this is just a starter,” he says, slowing down as he turns onto a road. You squeal as you look forward. Your hand lays on his upper thigh, and he clears his throat. Andy is such a funny man when you touch him in certain areas.
“Andy, it’s perfect!” It truly is. The cutest little white house with a white picket fence. A perfect starter home. “Can we go look?”
“That’s why we’re here,” you don’t even wait for him to open the door before you spring to the house. Having to wait a bit too long for him to come to your side and unlock the door before you're running through the empty house.
Home.
Yours and Andy’s home.
The kitchen is bigger than your mom’s, and a few modern appliances. The living room is huge, but maybe that’s because there was no furniture. Running down the hall you see the perfect room for a nursery. Can already envision the crib.
“Honey,” Andy pulls your hand down the hallway, leading you towards the biggest room in the house. It is mostly empty, sans a bed. “This will be ours.”
“Ours?” You sigh, turning towards him, and run both hands up his chest. “And we’ll get to sleep in the bed together,” your mother hadn’t quite taught you anything concerning marriage. And you’d heard your friends gossip a bit about their husbands, but it just made you queasy. You didn’t want to think about another man. You just want him. You want those conversations with Andy or nobody.
“We can do more than sleep,” he says with a sly quirk of his mouth.
“What else does one do in the bed with their husband?”
“Well,” he says softly, pulling you into his body. His meaty hands run up your sides before they’re high enough for his thumbs to caress over your breasts, and you sigh leaning into him. You were in private, and there’s nothing you wouldn’t let Andy do. Or touch.
Your body heats up with ministrations, and you stare up at him with your eye lids at half mast. “It’s something I’ve always wanted to try with you.”
“And what’s that?”
“I want to make love with you,” your tongue flicks out of your mouth, and you pull your bottom lip in. Biting on your perfect pout as you look up at him. “Do you know what that is?”
You shake your head no as Andy’s hands go to your back, and he grips tight to your zipper as he pulls it down. You gulp, allowing him to undo your dress. It feels right. And you love Andy, so making love sounds right. “When two people love each other, they give each other their bodies.”
“And then what,” you release a wanton mewl when he fully unzips your dress. Placing his hands back on your shoulders, he pulls the dress down, and you watch with bated breath as it pulls at your feet. Andy’s hungry eyes roam over your body before he reaches back behind you, undoing your bustier, and you’re the one pulling it off.
He stands there, taking your nearly nude body in. “Then what, Andy?”
“I taste you,” you gulp. “You taste me,” you shudder. “I enter inside of you,” you whimper. “I come inside of you.”
“Inside where?” Andy’s finger taps between your legs, and your knees start to buckle. Leaning more into him for support, and you shyly pull at his jacket, and fumble with the buttons on his shirt. “Have you ever came inside someone?”
“No,” it isn’t a lie. He’s had sex, and only because he wanted to be the best for you. But that part of him…it is only for you. “Can — I touch you?” You nod your head enthusiastically, and he leans forward. Both hands cupping your breasts before he sucks one into his mouth.
“Oh, god,” the other breast he squeezes and pulls until he reaches your swollen bud, and gives it a little pinch. You pant as you stare down at him. Sucking on your nipple before he pulls off with a pop, and moves to the other one. “Andy…I can’t breathe.”
“We’re just getting started,” he practically growls. He grabs your hand, and places it on his crotch, while you moan. Slick heat races to your core, and your mind goes all fuzzy. Andy always has this innate ability to make butterflies race to your belly.
Feeling Andy like this doesn’t even feel criminal. He’s showing you exactly why he adjusts his pants, “This is what you do to me.”
“And this,” you take a deep breath, trying to collect your thoughts. You can feel his pulse under your fingers. He’s so hot and heavy under your palms. Yours. This is all yours. “This goes inside me?”
“It does.”
“Show me,” Andy steps away from you before sinking to his knees. He starts to slowly peel away your panties and stockings down your body. Assisting you in kicking off your shoes, and stepping out of your confines while you stand completely bare in front of him.
“Andy,” you coo before he kisses you over your naked mound. “Andy,” you start to melt as he coaxes your legs apart, and he licks through your slit. “Oh dear,” Andy is getting a part of you that no man has. Open and so ready for him. Whatever it means. Is this what people are talking about when they mention the wedding bed?
Wedding be damned. You can’t stop this now. You want to feel him inside of you. “Andy, I want you in there,” he glances up at you with an almost evil smirk. “Will you show me what that means?” He will marry you. He will make an honest woman out of you. Your father drove him to do things this way.
Lifting you up, he lets your legs wrap around his body, while he moves you to grind over his enlarged bulge. Your eyes blow wide open with curious lust and the simpering sounds of your needy voice make his movements so much quicker. He could just about come looking at you like this alone. Laying you down on the bed, he spreads your legs so wide to stare at your weeping cunt. Perfect. And all his.
“Andy,” you whine, wiggling around. You feel so exposed, and want him so bad. You want him all over you. You want him to feel a part of you that no one has.
“Shh,” he whispers as he starts removing his clothes. You gasp as his cock springs free. Scooting back in the bed, suddenly scared of where he says he’s going to have you. “You can take it. You’ll take it all, and if it doesn’t fit, we’ll make it fit.”
Andy clamors onto the bed, using his wide berth to keep your legs parted as he lines himself up with your center. Pushing just the tip of him in you and quickly pulling back out, and you yip. “Honey, you can take it, huh?”
“Y-y-yeah,” you take a deep swallow as he goes deep, but doesn’t pull out. “Oh, golly,” he slowly sinks his girth deeper. Letting your body adjust to the intrusion inch by inch. “Oh…oh!” Panting when he fully sheaths his steel rod all the way inside of you, and into the depths of your soul.
Both of your bodies hum with the throbbing intensity that is the two of you becoming one. It’s overwhelming and lovely all at the same time. All these years have led you here. Spread wide open for him. Taking him. Loving him.
“There’s a good girl. There is my sweet good girl,” it is overwhelming having Andy inside of you. Stretching you out deliciously. You want him always there. It just feels right. How dare your father try and take this from you. You belong with Andy with him inside of you.
“Andy, I love you.”
“I love you.”
“I want a baby with you,” fuck yes. Yes. Just what he was wanting to hear. “I want to marry you, and live here with you, and have you inside me every single night. I want to take care of our sweet babies, and —“ he pulls himself out of you again, causing you to pout, but then he pushes back in with a jolt. “Oh, Lordy be!”
“You like me fucking you?”
“Uh huh,” such terrible language, but right here, right now, it feels wrong not to be saying that. “Fuck me harder. I like that,” he snaps his hips, barreling back into you. Again. Again. And again. And tears spring to your eyes, but he kisses them away. Pistoning into your body with such force you cry out.
The fullness of him. It makes it hard to breathe. Even the sting of the stretch doesn’t hurt all that much.
“Good girl. You sound so pretty crying for me,” you just cling on for dear life as Andy’s movements make the bed slap against the wall. “You were made for me, Sugar. Nobody can ever take this away from us. I won’t stop fucking you until I plant a baby in your belly.”
You’re too far gone to truly understand the implications in that statement. You just nod your sweet little head, opening your legs wider. Andy leans back, pinning both legs to the bed as he watches himself impale you. Your tight little cunt clings to his cock. Even your body didn’t want him to leave you. It was begging for him to stay buried deep inside you.
And he would be. He’ll keep fucking you, and planting his seed until it takes. What is your dad going to say when you’re swelling with Andy’s pride and joy? He wouldn’t want to ruin your good name, therefore the family’s. He’ll be forced to allow you to marry. And he’ll have you exactly how he wants you.
On your back, taking him every night, while every day he gets to worship you. The dream.
“Sugar,” Andy pants, his movements stiffening up. “I’m gonna give us a baby.”
“Yes, daddy.”
“Fuck,” he crows, keeping himself lodged deep in your body. “Fuck!” Warmth blooms in your belly, and your mouth goes slack as you stare up at him. “This will be our little secret, okay?”
Until your belly is so round that everyone knows that he’s fucked you good and hard enough to get a baby. Men will stare jealously knowing that Andy has had you with no inhibitions. There will come a day that he will get to tell people that the two of you are trying for a baby. Meaning they’ll know he’s fucking his come inside of you every night.
It will come. But for now, he’s going to keep coming inside of you. Creating a life in secrecy. In hopes that your father will approve this union. He won’t have another choice.
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“Beige,” your grandmother huffs as your sister pulls the veil over your head. “You seriously think people won’t notice you’re wearing beige? You spread your legs for the first man that whispered how much he loves you in your ear. You will ruin this family!” your sister looks back and forth between you and your grandmother, but you keep your head held high. Today you become his wife.
“You were supposed to marry the astronaut.”
“Guess he wouldn’t want to marry some whore, huh, Nana?” You let your hand drift down your stomach, rubbing over the barely there bump. “Andy did ask daddy for his permission to marry me. He said no, but all I’ve ever wanted was to be Mrs. Barber.”
“He trapped you,” your mother gasps, holding her hand over her mouth, while the other fans her face. “Sweetheart.”
“Don’t feel sorry for me. I wanted this. I begged for him to give us a baby. And now he’s giving me his last name. We have a home, and he has a job, and will move up at the firm. Let me have this happiness. He kept his promise. So let me keep mine.”
Let your mom continue to pray that nobody sees the weight you’ve put on. Four months, and six weeks, it is becoming harder to hide. There wouldn’t be a honeymoon. There would only be you going home to your husband. Sleeping in the bed right beside him where you belong. No more sneaking around, and leaving before sunlight. Everyone may know that you didn’t wait, and you don’t even care. Because he still kept his promise.
There would be no more lies. Only the truth, and that’s what has always been known. You love Andy Barber.
Andy Barber loves you.
And Andy is yours.
Masterlist
Taglist: @tis-thedamn-season @marveloustaylortot @pono-pura-vida @peaches1958 @seitmai
@smile1318 @andydrysdalerogers @cjand10 @midnightramyeoncravings @kmc1989
@pandaxnienke @donutloverxo @whiskeytangofoxtrot555 @bambamwolf87 @musingsfromthemitten
@theinheriteddutchess @buckybarnesisdaddy @distractingbeth
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starredblood · 21 hours ago
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CHIHIRO
PART TWO
kang sae-byeok x fem!reader
synopsis: you start suspecting a deeper history with sae-byeok, who is letting you in so easily.
wc. 5.1k
warnings: reader gets bad migraine, bit of angst and fluff
(chihiro masterlist)
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(summer, 2021)
You’re walking like you don’t want to be approached. Headphones on and sporting your darkest sunglasses—but it was all because you couldn’t stand being in the sun too long. That’s how the migraines start. You didn’t always have this problem and adjusting to a different lifestyle is harder than it looks.
You don’t want to think too much about it though. The impact one minuscule moment made to your life. But there was a brief time a month ago when the loss was all you thought about—it left you immobilized in your room even when you were fully able to step into the real world. But you were just too sad. You lost yourself…and you don’t know how many others lost you too.
That feeling brewing in your stomach is still there—the shifting of your world. You try avoiding anything that has to do with change to make sure your gut feeling is lying to you. So, you go to work, do your job (somewhat poorly) and go home, your home—that’s what you want your life to be forever now. Preferably alone.
But you already failed to fight back the change when you saw a small feline curled up by the edge of the sidewalk.
You gasp seeing the fragile state of the black kitten, who was trembling profusely and was barely able to open its eyes. Removing your sunglasses to take a better look at the cat, you then glance around to see if it belonged to any passerby’s but no one paid attention to the stray. You frown, thinking that maybe you’re hallucinating this cat that’s crying for help in the sea of pacing legs.
When you bend down and gently pat the cats small back, it flinched horribly making your heart clench. At least the kitten was real, and you’re too afraid to leave it here alone. Someone could trample it.
“Poor thing.” you coo to the kitten and it weakly mewls back. When it gets used to your touch, you scoop the cat in your hands. “Are you lost?”
You exhale through your nose. Your mom never liked cats and would always disapprove the idea of adopting one ever since you were a child. Good thing you moved back into your apartment and can do whatever you please. But can you really take care of another living being in your state?
The kitten, which you find out is a girl, begins to doze off in your warm palms. This has to be a sign for you to keep her. You rub her tiny back with your thumb and decide to take her home.
It was a good thing that you weren’t far from your apartment. The plan is to take her home, scurry to the nearest pet store and tomorrow you will take her to the vet. This change is good, you try to tell yourself as you keep on trudging.
One change you didn’t particularly favor was Cheol’s sister who is apparently everywhere now. You didn’t think it was her, sitting on a bench only a block away from your apartment, but it’s her. The short unruly hair and cold eyes gave it away. What are the odds of finding her here?
And it’s like she too can feel your presence because she spots you trying to brush past her. But meeting her icy glare only gave you more courage to speak up.
You pause in your footsteps, turn back around and walk back to the girl sitting on the bench. “Why do I get the feeling that you’re stalking me?” you ask her, sounding aggravated.
“I was working nearby—don’t get your ego inflated.” she scoffs, then breaks eye contact to look at what you’re cradling. She blinks. “Is that a cat?”
“I found her by an alleyway.” you state apprehensively and continue to pet her.
“And you’re going to keep it?”
“Why not? I always wanted a cat.” you shrug. She presses her lips into a thin line and you use that as your cue to walk away from this conversation. But in the middle of spinning back around, a question pops into your head. “Hey, what’s your name by the way?”
Her expression is bleak and unreadable as usual, but you noticed the small gulp. “Sae-byeok.” she answers quietly.
You curtly nod and start backing away slowly. “Have a nice day, Sae-byeok.” you mutter back awkwardly and start walking faster before another interaction from her erupts. You can feel her stare on your back however.
Ever since you started talking to her, you feel like you see her everywhere. Your mind can’t catch a break from thinking of her. Especially not at work, that’s where you usually find her lingering around but today is a different day with a different challenge and she always seems to be part of the challenge.
A few days after adopting your new kitten, who’s still nameless, you feel a new sense of purpose in your life. You want to take living more seriously.
You sacrificed two hours of your life this quiet Monday morning to go to the library earlier than scheduled to fix the mistakes you’ve made the past couple of weeks. And you have a good feeling about this, your mind is more clear and sharp than before. You might not get paid for these hours of work but it’ll be worth it seeing the look on Dasom’s face when you prove her wrong. Prove everyone wrong.
In your notebook, you mapped out the layout of the library so you spend less time getting lost. After successfully placing every book away in their actual correct spots, you spend the last thirty minutes in the back office organizing and cataloging the library materials—which were completely disarray thanks to you. By the time you finish, it’s time for you to technically—officially be working.
When you clock in the break room, Dasom bursts in a couple of seconds after. When she sees you, her malevolent smirk appears. “Do you happen to be well acquainted with, Remy?” she asks in a mocking manner. You don’t answer her instead roll your eyes and avoid her gaze. “The library looks nice—I’m assuming you had to have a rat underneath your garments or something that helped you make this place finally look satisfactory. Because god knows you didn’t fix this place all by yourself.”
“You’re the exception to the rule, Dasom.” you sneer and try storming off but she had a tight grip on your shoulder blade.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” she queries.
You don’t say anything, knowing that she isn’t worth arguing with, and swat her hand off you. When you step out the break room, you hear her clearly muttering insults underneath her breath. You feel bad for her, truly—a once spoiled child isn’t getting what she wants and is taking out her frustrations onto you.
Once your other coworkers start trickling in, you saw less of the likes of Dasom. Most of your morning and afternoon was working on the library’s catalog, the most tedious part of being a librarian. And having to sit down for hours irks you and your poor back.
Now that summer break officially started, more kids began coming into the library to mingle rather than learn. You get it though, you were a kid once after all so you didn’t mind that they came in just to socialize. However, there’s always a handful that come by to get a head start for the next school year—you were once also that type of child. But you didn’t expect a particular kid to be the same.
You look away from your computer screen and become surprised when you see Cheol accompanied by his sister Sae-byeok. He has a thick book pressed on his chest and smiles shyly at you.
“Hi, Cheol.” you greet him casually.
“Hi, noona.” he says back.
“Can you help him?” Sae-byeok asks right after. You look at her and your face morphs into confusion.
You wanted to question her. Why—Why now? Was she not able to help him after all? But this wasn’t about her or you, so you put those thoughts and animosity towards Sae-byeok away and look down at Cheol.
“Of course.” you say, grinning at him. “What do you need help with?”
“It’s hard for me to read this book…”
And with that, you take him to his favorite spot in the library and help him read through the first few chapters of a book that’s clearly above his grade level. But you’re impressed he’s succeeding. It makes your heart full because this is what being a librarian means to you. However, it would’ve been nice if Sae-byeok wasn’t watching you guys like a hawk. But at some point she starts picking up her own book and starts reading.
Halfway through reading the third chapter, Cheol breaks into conversation. He starts rambling about his favorite book that every kid his age loves and he can rarely find it in the library.
“Can I show you my favorite book if I find it?” he suggests, but already rose from his seat so it’s not like you can decline. But why would you—it’s refreshing to see someone his age fall in love with the world of reading.
“Sure.” you say and watching him scurry off to the kids section across the library.
Now the only people in this table were you and Sae-byeok who was sitting across from you. When she sees that his brother left, she lowers the book covering half of her face and starts sending you fleeting glances. You avoiding them by staring down at your hands folded on top of the table.
“Thanks.” she says out of the blue.
You snap your head to look at her briefly. She is leaning against the table, tracing circles on the cover of her current read, Human Acts by Han Kang—an amazing book you might add.
Maybe you’re being too harsh on her. There’s a lot you can learn about a person by knowing what they like to read. And a book as profound as this gives Sae-byeok a whole new layer of depth that you didn’t expect. Now, you’re curious to know her thoughts on it. Instead, you just clear your throat when she spoke up.
“No problem.” you breathe, fiddling with the bookmark you picked up. “He’s a good kid.”
“He is.”
When you eye her again, you see her glaring at something past your shoulders. Out of curiosity you turn around to see what she’s looking so harshly at. It was Dasom, who was also staring back but looks away when she spots you. She disappears into one of the bookshelves.
You whirl your head back around and give the icy girl a tight lipped smile. “I don’t like her either.” you bluntly admit.
The corner of her lips start twitching, like she was fighting back the urge to smile. You start to wonder what’s taking Cheol so long, it’s like he’s purposefully trying to give you a hard time right now. This awkward pause was too much.
Sae-byeok sucks in a breath of air like she was purposefully trying to get your divided attention. She starts rubbing the nape of her neck, appearing to have a hard time making her mouth say words, “Are you um…free later?” she carefully asks.
When she says this you already know where this is heading. You aren’t sure why she’s suddenly trying with you, but it intrigues you. Her cold nature was unraveling.
“I am.” you say plainly.
“I figure that I owe you for helping Cheol…if you want we can go to the cafe we ran into each other maybe like later today…?”
“…Uh—“
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to.” she cuts you off, determined to avoid your eyes.
You didn’t expect her to be such a wildcard. The timidness seeping through her voice and her softening gaze made your curiosity peak.
“It’s the cafe that looks like a little fairy cottage, right?” you ask her and she nods. “That’s my favorite. I’ll go with you. I get off at three—I’ll meet you there.”
You were too focused on Cheol’s reappearing figure to see the glint of hope in her eyes.
“This is your favorite book?” you ask Cheol, who comes back out of breath but elated with the book he hands you.
After another hour went by, it was time for you to fulfill other duties you had to complete before your shift is over. But you take your time to walk with the two siblings out the library.
After wishing Cheol goodbye, it was now Sae-byeok’s turn. But you couldn’t find anything to say—not after what occurred before.
She stands in front of you, with her muscles tense, stiff shoulders, and hands shoved in the depths of her jean pockets. “Thanks again. I guess I’ll see you later.” she murmurs with a deadpan expression.
All you could do is nod to that, ignoring the queasiness that you felt in your stomach. You wait for them to reach the doorframes to turn around.
You bite back a smile when you overheard Cheol tell his sister as they were heading out, “You guys are seeing each other later?”
When three o’ clock came, you entered the break room with much eagerness than when you started this morning. But the excitement quickly vanished when you saw something of yours suspiciously on the floor. Upon further inspection, you saw that it was your sunglasses split in half—the ones you need to help with migraines. Someone was holding back laughter nearby and you knew who it was. You didn’t want to give Dasom the satisfaction.
Instead you hold in your anger and kick off the broke glasses to the side and grab your purse from your locker. You can feel her throwing daggers when you walk out.
You don’t rely on a map anymore to the cafe, you come here almost everyday now. The only thing you have to do is find Sae-byeok when you enter.
It was easy to spot her quiet and enigmatic figure. She sat by the window again, her hands propped up on the table with her hands folded. She had her hair styled into a short ponytail which she didn’t have earlier. Her once sharp eyes rounded when you stood by the door in a frigid posture. Something about her face feels more familiar day by day.
“What do you usually order?” she asks making you snap out of your thoughts.
You slowly pull up the chair across from her and sit down. “Uh—vanilla latte, iced.”
She nods and gets off her seat to go order. You observe her some more. Her guarded behavior is present to anyone she encounters but with you she speaks in a much softer tone. The way her arms are crossed and her eyebrows are knitted when she orders is a telltale sign to stay away from her.
Your mom told you that you didn’t meet anyone new the past year. And you believed it at first because you didn’t have the energy to go and search if she was telling you the truth. But maybe you want to try now. Unless Sae-byeok is just being nice this whole time and you’re just paranoid.
“Thanks.” you murmur when she passes you your coffee. Neither of you speak as you take sipping your drinks. You feel like there is a big elephant in the room. Your past animosity towards her is no longer present—it left the second she came to you asking if you can help her brother. “Hey, about the past— I’m sorry for lashing out on you…so many times.”
“It’s fine.” she shrugs after finishing taking sips of her cold brew.
“No, it’s not.” you state and frown when she doesn’t look up at you. So, you scoot your seat closer to lean on the table to make her. “I was too cowardly to defend myself against Dasom because her parents donate to the library. So, I threw my frustrations onto you.”
“Like I said—it’s fine. I don’t care.”
“Okay.” you whisper.
“I didn’t mean it like that.” she sighs and starts playing with the hem of her sleeve like she was in careful thought. You wait for her to gather them to say something else. “Just figured you wouldn’t want to tell me after finding out…” she trails off, quieter than the wind.
“About what happened to me?” you ask cautiously. When she nods you chew the inside of your cheek. You don’t discern the fact that your legs are bouncing aggressively underneath the table. “Do you want to know?”
She nibbles on her lower lip. “Only if you want to talk about it.”
It’s been awhile since you spoke aloud about your accident. And how it took a year out of your life. Your heart starts racing, you try to convince yourself it’s just the caffeine but deep inside you know it’s because you’re anxious. Sae-byeok couldn’t look away anymore, clearly wanting a question but isn’t blunt enough to directly ask.
“I got into a car accident. Most of the injuries went to my head.” you explain shortly. But it took everything in you to finally say it. “I lost a year worth of memories because of it. And I get really bad brain fog so…that explains all the confusion and getting lost.”
“Sounds hard.” she whispers and starts glancing out the window.
“It is.” you heave. “My therapist says that music therapy and creating lists help with it.”
“Is that why I always see you with headphones during your breaks?”
“Are you always watching me?” you snort seeing the blush creep up her neck. That’s a sight you never thought you’d see. Her posture becomes guarded again, the arms crossed and contorted expression so you clear your throat. “Let’s change the topic okay?”
“…Fine.” she hesitates.
“Cheol told me his favorite book—what’s yours?”
“Heaven by Mieko Kawakami.” she responds right away, it took you by surprise.
“Really?” you gape, your eyebrows raising up. You see her lips start quivering again. “I love that book—not my favorite though but it’s definitely up there.”
“What’s yours?”
“The White Book—Han Kang.” you say without further thought. You take your last sip of coffee so you hold back the urge to laugh at her crestfallen expression. “You look so surprised when I said that:”
Sae-byeok exhales, like she was holding back the laugh that was ready to escape. You continue to gawk at her—you couldn’t distinguish what was different about her but something definitely was. Like flicker of a switch, you feel more at ease with her. It feels like you can tell her anything. Your heart drops at the possibility of—
“Do you want to go somewhere else?” she asks casually but already rose from her seat before you could answer. “There’s a spot I think you might like.”
A quizzical look etches your face. “Sure?”
She grabs your empty coffee cup and dumps it on the trashcan. When she opens the door halfway, she pauses and waits for you to catch up.
The moment you’re out in the sunlight your head feels like it’s tightening. This torturous sensation couldn’t be alleviated because Dasom broke your sunglasses. But you are dying to know where she will take you so you might just have to put up with the blaring sunlight.
When you reach the park, you think she’d lead you to a bench and sit by the lake. What you didn’t expect is to stand in front of a large wired gate at the end of the park. On the unreachable end of the gate, you see a massive greenhouse that resembles a mansion.
You’re confused when Sae-byeok bends down to lift up the wired fence, leaving a quaint gap for anyone to trespass through. She doesn’t say anything, but the glint of mischief in her eyes tells you enough—she wants you to duck underneath.
“Do you want to pay fifteen bucks to enter?” she asks you like the clear and obvious answer is to sneak inside the botanical garden.
A sigh escapes your lips. You don’t answer but you always wanted to go see the botanicals. You let your heart speak for your actions and duck underneath the fence. When you make it to the other side, you fight back the urge to wince at the headache starting to kick.
You shield your view from the white sunshine using your hands. But when Sae-byeok crawled to the back of the garden, she took one of your hands with hers and makes you run with her to the enormous greenhouse.
Her warm hands enveloped with yours and it confuses you. You don’t get it—why is she so relaxed with you?
She sneaks you into one of the back entrances, letting go of your hand and guides you by pressing her hand to the small of your back. Every now and then, you feel her hot and unsteady breath hit the side of your neck.
“We’re good.” she whispers when no onlookers or staff caught onto you both for trespassing.
You’re so in awe of the tall strangely shaped trees and arrays of flowers you didn’t even know existed that you almost forgot about the excruciating migraine starting. Sae-byeok quietly watches you, as if she was waiting for you to come to some sort of epiphany that never happened.
She trails after you for a solid ten minutes while you observe and snap photos of different plants you come across.
“There’s a spot outside with a pond—if you want to sit down.” she falters.
Her voice startles you. At this point, your eyes were squinted because you couldn’t take the sharp throbbing pain anymore.
“Lead the way then.” you still say.
You want to hold on longer. You’re dying to know how to solve the unsolvable puzzle that is Sae-byeok.
The pond was small and inviting with only a singular bench that can barely fit two people. When you both sit down she stares straight ahead at the lake as if she was pondering the great mysteries of the world. She has to know you’re looking at her right now.
You didn’t notice her splatter of freckles across her cheeks until now that the sunshine beams straight down on them. A blurry memory pops into your head about the same freckled person in front of you—you feel like you’ve seen her before.
Her posture slackens and she leans the back of her head on the bench. She was squirming at the intensity of your gaze.
“I feel like I know you.” you say outright.
Sae-byeok’s pokerface becomes stern. “From?” she says with a light tone—hope?
“I don’t know…Never mind.” you shut your eyes at the feeling of the sun hitting your corneas. “I need to stop assuming that everyone new I meet is from the past.”
You hear her keep shifting on the bench. “Can I ask you something now?” she asks. You flutter open your eyes and hum. “Do you have any friends right now?”
“Not really. I had a good group of friends in college but we all just naturally grew apart. But as of right now no.” you answer honestly. Adulthood is lonely, you doubt you’re the only one. “How about you?”
There was a brief pause after you ask her the question. Sae-byeok couldn’t tear her eyes away from the pond, it was like nostalgia washes over her. The small rare smile on her lips and fond eyes were a strange yet silently beautiful sight.
“I had one. But she left a long time ago…So, I guess not.” she answers bleakly.
“I’m sorry about that.” your frown. “Did she…?”
“Die? No—just left without saying a word.”
“Ah. That must suck.” you say, looking down at your lap. The migraine was getting worse. You feel your mind get more foggy and your eyes are starting to see all white. But you don’t want to stop talking to her.
“It does…I asked that because—I’m trying to make new friends.”
“You want to be friends?” you say breathlessly and she faintly hums in response. Now you feel awful for the way you behaved around her. But the light was becoming to unbearable you couldn’t keep your eyes open anymore. “I’m sorry.” you apologize for your past actions and for what’s about to occur next.
Sae-byeok didn’t notice your odd behavior yet. “For what this time?”
“Being so judgmental.” you say, your voice shaking like you were dealing with a lot of pain. “You didn’t deserve it.”
That was the last thing you were able to croak out until you had to press your palms to your aching forehead. The pain was too unbearable, you wanted to collapse on the ground and curl up into a ball by how weak and small you felt.
You feel a hand on top of your shoulder. Sae-byeok’s hoarse voice rings past your ears, “Are you alright? Hey, are you okay?”
“My head.” you say—you hope you did. The discomfort was becoming too much by the minute, that’s when the tears threatened to spill.
“What? What’s happening with your head? Did you get hurt again?” she frantically asks.
She gets off the bench and kneels down in front of you to get a better look at your wet face. Your silent cries were enough to signal that you were fighting an internal battle.
You feel so ashamed, so useless. She shouldn’t be dealing with your mess. “Sorry—“
“Do you need to go to the hospital? Please—Please say something.” she cries. You shake your head, instead you’re barely able to reply with the word home and that’s enough for her. “I’ll take you don’t worry.”
The recollection of what happened after she said that was foggy. You think she carried you on her back all the way to your apartment—but you don’t recall giving her your address or specify what floor you live on. And you’re almost certain that you didn’t tell her the precise location of your bedroom.
It wasn’t until you feel your body lay comfortably on the mattress and hear all your curtains in your room being shut and your cat mewing that you know you’re safe. But the tears couldn’t stop flowing from the pain—you feel as if your eyes were about to pop out of your skull.
“Do you have any medication that’ll help?” you hear her shaky and out of breath voice. At first you thought you were making it up. When you try to sit up, she gently pulls you back down. “Just tell me I’ll—I’ll know.”
You take a deep breath in to gather the words that were disarray in your mind. “Kitchen…cabinet.”
The shuffling of feet’s lets you know she’s left to find it but what you’re surprised about is how quickly she came back. Maybe your mind is too hazy to accurately reflect the concept of time.
The darkness filling the room helped. Your eyes started to adjust better, although it was still a bit blurry you were able to make out the shape of her sitting on the edge of your bed with a handful of medications.
“Be careful.” she gently murmurs when she saw your frail attempt to sit up. “Just point which one you need.”
You point to the orange bottle. She passes you two pills and a water bottle that you slowly take. After chugging almost the entire bottle, you let out another shaky breath.
Your body slowly begins to relax and all you wanted right now was to rest. The pain will take some time to subdue after the medication. You press your forehead against her shoulder blade and inhale her scent of wood-sage and cigarettes—you don’t know why you leaned onto her but it just felt right. What anchored you was the warmth of her hand rubbing circles on your back and her chin propped up on top of your head—and that’s when you knew.
“Sae-byeok…”
“Hm?”
──・──・・✿ ・・──・──
(summer, 2020)
“Look what I recently found.” you say, smiling mischievously at the guarded girl.
Sae-byeok humored onto you. She doesn’t know what sort of magic you did you spell her into agreeing to hang out with you but it worked. Maybe it’s the immense loneliness that she can’t get away from is what made her say yes to spending this afternoon with you. She just wants to feel something other than isolation for once. But so far, you were off to a terrible start.
You pull open the wired fence and crawl underneath it. Once successfully on the other side of the fence you encourage her to follow suit.
“What the hell are you playing at?” Sae-byeok snarls, slowly stepping back. She’s already got a lengthy history of breaking the law, she can’t add trespassing to the list.
“Come on I did this last time I was here and I didn’t get caught.” you say encouragingly, still holding onto the edges of the fence. “It’s either this or pay fifteen dollars—now hurry or we’ll really get caught!”
At this point Sae-byeok is frantic, she whips her head around to make sure no one is watching before she starts crawling underneath the fencing. She feels your hand wrap around her wrist to lure her to the back of the greenhouse. Are you some sort of adrenaline junkie? You currently have her ducking behind several displays of wildflowers. If you get them caught Sae-byeok swears this’ll be the last you hear from her
“We’re in the clear.” you whisper and let go of her wrist.
“Why did you take me here?” she hisses and grabs your arm before you have a chance to move around. You look at her with a startled look. “I didn’t sign up to trespass.”
“Well, you said you don’t see pretty things often.” you explain, blinking at her.
Sae-byeok sighs. There’s a reason why she’s so closed off—when she opens up things like this happen to her.
And you seem to determined to explore this garden, you slowly start backing away to a particular spot of this large greenhouse. Sae-byeok could only follow behind you. She silently observes the way you inspect the flowers and read off the signs that list fun facts. Cheol always boast about how smart you are and she isn’t going to deny it. Smart people tend to be the most curious about the world around them. She wishes she had that kind of wonder about life.
So, she tries. She tries mimicking the way you stare at these strange flowers and plants.
“It’s pretty right?”
Sae-byeok flinches by your voice. You are hovering over her, smiling like you’re trying to tell her ‘Told you so.’ She rolls her eyes in response. But they were somewhat nice to look at.
“So, did you like the book I recommended?” you ask her, curiously. She only shakes her head to reply. You conceal the grin itching to form. “Would you consider more of my book recommendations?”
“I don’t read.” she says sternly and knits her eyebrows when you threw her a strange look. “I don’t have time to read.”
The two of you quietly keep observing the flowers. Sae-byeok holds her breath, sensing that you weren’t finished talking because your body was still facing hers.
“You can always come to the library to read.” you suggest. “I always say that time stops when you enter a library—you should try it out.”
She shoves her hands into her jean pockets and walks away from you and this conversation. Sae-byeok doesn’t need life advice from you or anyone else. You don’t have a single clue as to what she has to deal with on a daily basis.
After today, she doesn’t wish to see you anymore—not after this stunt you pulled. Her mind is made up.
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🏷️: @lyzem @monkey4lifer @tlouloser @bitchybananaflower @yenyu1s @marfe816 @gummyoonji @peelover25 @saebyeokbliss @knfthxv @we1rdth0ughts @monroesturnns @wiltingconquest @noaanotfound @tyresedidujsfart @madebysae
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hoonieyun · 2 days ago
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date with bachelor number four
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welcome to, "is he mr. right?", the dating game! where a lucky girl who is looking for love has the opportunity to go on a date with four handsome and eager bachelor's who are also looking for love.
this is an interactive dating show au where the readers can vote on "yn's" decisions, ultimately leading to who she will be with at the end... but more on that later!
heeseung 𐐪♡𐑂 jongseong 𐐪♡𐑂 jaeyun 𐐪♡𐑂 sunghoon
warnings: not really but pls lmk - 18+ not proofread lol
wc: 3022
episode four: date with bachelor number four
memories of last episode replay in your head causing you to smile at the thought. jay’s beautiful song, the delicious food, and jay’s unwavering attention that just drew you into him. there’s no such thing as perfect but to you, that date was perfect. it was all you could talk about for the last few days besides the fact that whoever the next guys are, their dates better blow your mind because jay was currently in first place by a great margin. 
when the next filming day eventually arrived, you and your style team spent a good chunk of time while you were getting ready just giggling and talking about your first date. they were telling you about how giddy it made them feel watching it back and how everyone on the internet had already started to root for you and jay to be endgame. they even went as far as to show you the hashtag viewers trended called “SingForMeJay”, “YNPrettyLikeASong” and “YNJayMrandMrsRight”. 
you laughed at the idea of those hashtags because they were somewhat long for a tag and you weren’t even sure if jay could be the one based off of one date. of course the date was better than you could’ve expected and it set a benchmark moving forward for the rest of the dates; but you couldn’t tell for sure if jay is mr. right just based on that. 
but he was sure on his way to earn that title. 
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your outfit for today was pretty simple but cute. the stylists didn’t give you any hints on what your date was going to be but all they said was that the outfit they styled for you had to be comfortable for the activities this date would entail. you were nervous that the date would involve some physical activity because of that comment but considering your outfit didn’t look like activewear, you ruled that out fairly quickly. 
the outfit for today’s date consisted of baggy jeans, a comfy blue zip up hoodie and a crop top underneath. it was pretty sunny today but there was a consistent breeze so you made sure to keep the hoodie zipped up so you wouldn’t get chilly. 
and just like before, you’re driven to the location of the date. the car you were riding in had the windows covered so you couldn’t see where you were and once the car came to a halt, the PA blindfolds you just like last time. 
for some reason, you were way more nervous today than the last date. you thought it would get easier since you kind of got the first date jitters away, but because this date was completely different from the last; your mind wandered to all of the things that could go wrong. 
what if you trip and fall? 
what if the bachelor doesn’t like your outfit? 
what if the two of you don’t mix well? 
“alright, yn. ready?” the PA asks and you just nod, her hand grabbing yours as she carefully guides you out of the car and onto the filming spot. you could hear plenty of things going on around you, people talking, large machinery you assumed, and the overall sound of large groups of people. you couldn’t put your finger on it but you felt like it was at the tip of your tongue, you just couldn’t fully decipher where you were. 
on the count of three, you’re instructed to take off your blindfold and turn around, to which you did and are met with one of your favorite places. the amusement park, specifically the sanrio amusement park. this place held a lot of fond memories for you because it was not only the place you and your friends would often frequent but this was where you went on your first date with your most recent ex. 
sure, the two of you have broken up and are probably finding new people– but you held onto the good memories of that relationship even if it sometimes left a bitter taste in your mouth when you reminsce on the closing days of your relationship. the tension between you and your ex as you both try to avoid the inevitable. you two just weren’t on the same page anymore and that’s okay. 
“are you excited?” the producer asks from behind the camera and you nod, telling him that you love amusement parks so this date was already going well for you. “alright, today you’re going on a date with bachelor number four, he’s waiting for you at the entry gate so go ahead and find him, ok?” you’re told and with that, you make your way over to the gate with no help. 
it was like you knew this place like the back of your hand. 
soon enough, a person standing all by himself with a large mymelody plushie covering him comes into your vision. he’s standing in the middle of the gate and the sight alone makes you smile. it was cute that he had gotten you the abnormally large plushie but the fact that he was hiding behind it made him so much cuter. 
you were excited to meet him, all of the nerves already leaving your body as you arrived at the familiar and favorite location, but the image of the boy in front of you helped seize it fullty. “hi, are you my date?” you ask as you come to a halt in front of him. the excitement soon leaves your body and nerves quickly return when he moves the plushie away to reveal himself. 
jake, your ex-boyfriend. 
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both of your faces mirror one another, wide eyed and mouth ajar at the unexpected reunion between the two of you. neither of you couldve expected to see each other, especially not in these circumstances so shock was an understatement. you felt almost blindsided? there was no way production knew that jake was your ex and no way for jake to have known you were going to be on the show so although you didn’t want to call it merely a coincidence, there was no other explanation. 
“um, can we cut?” you ask and the team around you just exchange awkward glances with one another, not doing anything as the producer looks at you with a puzzle expression. “i said cut!” frustration in your voice as you walk away, heading to where they had dropped you off. everyone on the production crew halt filming, a single cameraman following you as you walk away while the producer tells everyone to reset and hold places for filming to start again while they try to figure out what happened with you. 
“can you give me a minute, please?” you ask the cameraman and he reluctantly stops filming, at some point he was a bit nervous to stop because he didn’t want to risk his job but the troubled expression on your face prompted him to comfort you. “hey, is everything ok?” he asks, a sniffle coming from you in response, choosing to stay silent because you didn’t know how you even felt at this moment. 
“you’re clearly going through something, just tell me; it’ll make you feel better.” he offers once more and so you take his kindness and tell him what’s wrong. 
“that guy- the bachelor for this week; he’s my ex.” you explain and his face softens, like he completely understands the root of your behavior, no need for further explanation. “i didn’t think i’d see him but it’s been so long– i wasn’t ready for any of that..” you continue.
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“so, this is it? you’re just going to walk away because you’re scared?” jake says, running his hands through his hair with a huff of frustration. the two of you originally met up to just “talk” but this talk has turned into a 2 hour long conversation, talking in circles and unable to arrive at a conclusion about your relationship. you loved jake and jake loved you but he wanted something you weren’t ready for. jake wanted to settle down, start a family, and build a life together but you were so young. 
you wanted to have a life with jake so badly but would it be at the cost of your youth? the two of you still had so much to live for, so much to learn and to see and to experience. you loved jake, but you loved yourself too much to deprive yourself from not being able to experience all the world had to offer. 
“i’m not afraid– i’ve never been afraid. jake i tell you this all the time, the one thing i value most in my life is my freedom, and i’m not saying that being with you will take that away but… 
right now i’m going to choose my freedom because it’s the one thing i know i will always have no matter what and i think if i were to settle down right now, my freedom would be an option opposed to the noptio.” and with that, you told jake goodbye, walking away from your boyfri- now ex-boyfriend, tears running from your eyes while jake watched your figure get smaller and smaller as you walked further and further away from him. 
the life he thought he had planned out with you failing before it even started. 
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“for what it’s worth, your freedom should never be up for debate when finding someone to love you. your freedom should be something he helps you embrace, not something he takes away from you.” you give the cameraman a thankful glance partnered with a smile. 
filming resumes just minutes after your peptalk with the cameraman, a sense of comfort that only a stranger who knows nothing about you can provide because he was in no position to judge you; but instead to choose kindness. 
you apologize to all of the staff and crew, sending an apologetic gaze to the producer who simply just waves it off and tells the crew to begin filming at his countdown. “are you ok?” jake asks and you just nod, tidying yourself and putting on your best fake smile for the cameras. 
you and jake try your best to reenact the initial meeting, big and bright smiles on your faces in comparison to the first time where you both mirrored your shocked expressions. “hi, i’m jake.” he says, offering you the giant plushie in his arms to which you slowly accept before thanking him and introducing yourselves. you aren’t sure how your chemistry was going to read to viewers through a screen but you were going to try your best to give this date the benefit of the doubt. 
sure there was still some resentment between the two of you but if jake was willing to try; so will you. 
the date goes on, jake taking you to your favorite spots of the whole amusement park, your usual routine since your very first date. it made you laugh a bit knowing that he chose this as the first date because it was just like your very first one all those years ago. he took you to bumper cars, to which he always drove because he knew you were a bit scared to drive the bumper cars. 
then he brought you to several carnival game tents where he won you several sanrio plushies because he knew how to beat the riggory behind the games, a triumphant and proud smile on his face each time he won another prize and an even bigger smile when he’d see how happy you got that he won you something. 
just like old times, you dragged jake to a few rollercoasters that you were excited to ride and knew he’d be scared of. that was always the dynamic between the two of you when it came to rollercoasters; you’d tease jake for being scared and he’d try to show you he wasn’t but he’d end up clutching onto you with his eyes closed until you’d pat him on the heqad to let him know it was over. 
much like how you were now as the rollercoaster came to a halt, jake had his eyes shut while he clung onto you, comfort washing over him knowing that you’re by his side. something that he’s missed for a long time. 
“okay, no more rides. please.” jake says, dramatically clutching his chest like he just got done fighting for his life when the ride lasted less than 3 minutes and was the slowest of them all. “stop being a drama queen, come on!” you say with a chuckle, grabbing jake by his hand and dragging him to the next ride. your hand in his caught jake off guard, but he didn’t oppose. he did always think that your hand fit in his the best, like it was meant to fit into his as if it was molded by a sculptor. 
“last one, i promise.” you say as the two of you arrive at the giant ferris wheel, hello kitty’s face in the center of the large circle. the sun had gone down by now and the anxiety from the beginning was long gone, the two of you falling into your usual routine before you broke up. like no time has passed and this was merely another date the two of you had planned. the bitterness of reality yet to come back as neither of you choose not to focus on the fact that you are no longer together, haven’t been for awhile, and this was all for a tv show. 
when your carriage on the ferris wheel arrives, jake helps you on first and follows you after, a slight wavering in his expression as he steps onto the suspended cage. “it’ll be okay, jake.” you reassure him. thankfully the camera crew couldn’t follow you because there were only two per carriage so they followed behind. 
“was there a reason you wanted to go on here so bad? what if we fall?” jake says, slightly peering over and taking a gander at the height that you were now at and instantly leaning back when he sees how high up you were. 
“aside from seeing you all scared like this?” you ask, a teasing gaze. jake just pouting at you in response, “i wanted a chance to talk to you without having the cameras in our face.” you explain and jake gives you a nod in acknowledgement. 
“i know it;s been a while since we last saw each other and i know we didn’t necessarily end on the best terms but– i hope you’re well, jake. 
i never meant to hurt you and i’m sorry i chose myself but i did love you. i loved you so much.” you confessed, jake’s hand flying to your face as he softly wipes away your tears with his thumb. you grab onto his hand and melt into his touch, a type of longing you didn’t realize you had been yearning for until it was brought back to you. 
“you have nothing to apologize for. i just want you to know that i’ll never hold it against you to choose your happiness and freedom, i just wish i could’ve been the one to give that to you. maybe i still can..?” he says, hope in his eyes as the moonlight reflected in them.
“yeah..” you say and when jake looks into your eyes, he sees all the color of the world, pink, red, blue, and so many more that he wishes he could identify but your gaze alone was enough to leave him in awe. the loud popping of fireworks fills the park as bright combinations of colors illuminate the darkness of the night. 
traditional shapes of fireworks are partnered with those that resemble the images of beloved sanrio characters. you and jake take turns pointing out the ones you recognize, appreciating the joy of the moment as you two forget about the past, thinking that maybe this was an instance where moving on and starting over was a possibility. 
an option that neither of you knew were available. 
you gently place your head onto jake’s shoulder and he places his on top of your head as the two of you take in the rest of the night, finding comfort in each other and the familiarity seeping back in as the fireworks drown out the looming feeling that something could go wrong. 
once the ride was over, concluding your date; you give jake a short hug goodbye. jake wishing that he could hold onto that feeling for the rest of his life. 
“what was your favorite part of the date?”
yn: the rollercoasters, for sure jake: not the rollercoasters… that’s for sure. maybe seeing how happy yn got when i won her a prize?
“would you date the other?”
yn: yeah jake: 100% yes
“do you think he’ll be mr. right?”
yn: it’s too early to say but i definitely think he might have a good chance “do you think you’ll be mr. right?”
jake: i’ll do my best to be that for her.
after the question is asked, you try to get up and leave but you’re told to sit back down as they had another question for you, same with jake who was doing his interview in a different location. 
“your conversation together on the ferris wheel, you do realize you’re still mic’d up right?” 
yn: oh.. jake: i see.. 
the two of you hadn’t even taken that into consideration when choosing to talk about your past. no one besides the two of you, and the cameraman, knew about the two of you being exes, and now the whole crew knew about it. you didn’t know how it was going to reside with the audience but since it was briefly touched upon in previous episodes, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad that everyone knew. not like it was something to hide. 
“how does it feel to see your ex again?”
yn: i’m not sure, but i just know it was better than the last time we saw each other.  jake: it feels like fate.. 
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hoonieyun notes: eeee some angst for todays episode!! did you guess right that jake was bachelor number four AND the ex that was referenced in the last chapters?
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hanaonesflower · 3 days ago
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"Why don't you be my girl? My woman, for real." He says, so matter of factly.
"You've lost your damn mind, Nanami."
"Have I?" He tilts his head to the side, unleveling the windsor of the tie you're helping him with. You feel your throat constrict and your hands get clammy.
"Let me help you find it after I'm done." You joke, pulling any trick in the book to get him distracted and move on. His hands find purchase on your waist and make you jump out of your skin from the sudden contact.
"Why must you be like this?" Nanami tightens his grip, not to hurt you but to ensure you won't slip through his fingers, like how you always do.
"We've made it clear from the start, no strings attached... ever." You emphasized. Failing to mention the every so often twist of your heart watching him leave, seeing him interact with someone other than you, having to bare seeing his affection given to anyone else. It's been like that for a while, but what good would it be to tell him.
"But I like you, shouldn't that mean something? Who cares about the arrangement?"
"Then we should break it off, save us the trouble... there all done." You pat his chest while feeling your own tightens sending him away, his outfit is complete, dandy and smooth for a night out with the company. "God luck at the event," you look away, out the balcony and what lies beyond it–a beautiful ocean lined so blue as far as the eyes can see, the flickering glimmer on the surface dances with each crashing wave. You wish you could stay longer, but everything must come to an end. Before you can gather your things and bid him a permanent farewell, his clutch startle you.
"Come with me, please."
"I don't think that's a good idea."
"Why don't you let me worry about that."
He takes the words right out of your mouth. You are no stranger to his reserved, stoic nature, his life is calculated, each move he makes has a purpose. From the outside, Nanami doesn't look like the type to conduct closed doors activities, but every man has his vice and abandons virtue to pursue them. He forgets to account for how much his heart would flutter every time you come around, neglects to put a lid on the emotions that rise up every time he hears you speak. Most of the time, Nanami Kento knows exactly what he'd do next, his schedule booked with intention but all logic shrivels when he's within eye line of you.
"Please don't make this harder than it has to be," you gulp, "I don't belong in your world." You're no better, your guard crumbles with him around, the taste of him, his scent, are your kryptonite.
Before you could manage to wring yourself out of this situation with some half wit statements, he pulls you in, closing the gap between the two of you with the way he knows best. This one feels different, the kiss is filled to the brim with longing, his hands cautious, timid as they find their ways to you. With some conviction you could have pulled away and bee line to the door, but your energy can be used better elsewhere. Right now, it feels right, exactly where you are.
"To hell with that."
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shatterthefragments · 12 hours ago
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Thank you 🫂💖
Last song: euphoria by Polyphia 😌
Favourite colour: blues and yellow ochre
Last book: what they always tell us by Martin Wilson (and I’ll reread it AGAIN!)
Last movie: I’m. It may still be monkey man or love lies bleeding from last year? …no actually we did a watch of everything everywhere all at once over the summer I think (where I sobbed the whole time 😘 love, from: your local undiagnosed white passing wasian Chinese American queer disappointment child who relates to easily to everything (everywhere all at once) but!!! One of my coworkers recommended Flow and it had cats so. Might have to try to make it out to see it!
Last TV show: I think it was when my sister and I watched black sails… 2023? Otherwise possibly leverage?
Looking forward to: SO MANY THINGS!!! I intentionally give myself lots to look forward to 😌 Apocalyptica pre birthday in GOOD SEATS! (Even if I did buy two and have an extra ticket now…maybe I’ll see if one of my friends from college wants to go. They’re a big (small) concert person and we haven’t seen each other in years) TPIY with @branches-in-a-flood ! Tattoo with @ongreenergrasses ! Fancy hot chocolate! Daughtry/nothing more/disturbed and then Spiritbox with @vessels-two-front-teeth and @elkkiel ! MCR with one of my best friends from college! Stardew orchestra performance! Linkin park with some coworkers! Lots of little art projects I have piled on to do! Hopefully starting semi regularly at a ceramics studio! (Or at least a workshop every few months!) hopefully starting the first steps to get back into kickboxing(?) (but at a lower intensity so I can still mask while doing so). Hopefully getting my room more into a functional space that I can work along the desire paths of where I always put stuff! (Hopefully starting the phone calls necessary to maybe get on T for a short bit and to get on the top surgery wait list?)
Sweet/spicy/savoury? ✨yes✨ (preferably a little thing of each :))
Current obsession: sleep token, however. I am also. You know how fixations sometimes come and go and recur a LOT. Well. Guess who remembered the term “MOTIF” and uhhhhhh. So anyway I’m turning Motifs over in my head and it kinda sounds better that “ah yes that’s a motif in my life” rather than “AGAIN??? AGAIN?&?!” Also I fixate a lot on words and phrases so. Sometimes those.
Last search: a month to find a picture of my current Events Board to see if I was forgetting anything I was looking forward to. On Internet? I was using Firefox focus so. I. Cannot go back to check what it was… OH. I was looking up hotels for a night bc I’d love to see Marcin HOWEVER. Despite $35 for show ticket. So far. $340 is the cheapest hotel room of the nearby one that I usually like to go to. For a hostel style shared bathroom situation I could get a much cheaper room. But it’s much farther away from the venue. And $160. I mean. The single bed is at least in a private bedroom. Itty bitty of course but. Private. And the htrmmm. It’s just. I barely know Marcin but know I’d love him based on the one song and what I know of him. But also. That’s a lot of money especially when I’m headed out a few times that month anyway. So. Most likely I’ll procrastinate and not buy a ticket and it’ll sell out and it’ll be out of my hands anyway and what will be will be 🤷🏻‍♂️
Ten people I'd like to know better .⋆˙✮ ˎˊ˗
Thank you so much for the tag @spocksmalewife! 🤘🔥
Last song: 200 Bodies per Minute by Acumen Nation
Favourite colour: Teal! Petrol blue! Cyan! Turquoise! (tho any shade from green to blue will do) 💚💙
Last book: Principles of Two-Dimensional Design by Wucius Wong (i'm not big on novels lol)
Last movie: Maratonci trče počasni krug (1982) if we're not counting all the Netflix brainrot (and if we are... The Secret Life of Pets 2 💀)
Last TV show: Lexx (but... once again... if we're counting Netflix brainrot... Good Witch 💀💀💀)
Sweet/spicy/savoury: sweet is my weakness ;_;
Current obsession: anything Cracknation related
Last thing I searched online: cd emoji
Looking forward to: next Liburnicon (tho kinda dreading it at the same time) and hopefully seeing DAF in April!
Tags (but no pressure!): @acousticcancer @jar-jar-ate @v4mp1res3verywhere @flashbic @casekt @fallziell @suspiriasuspense @knaveofpentacles @fiul-risipit @athenawilcox and any other mutuals who might feel like it!
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dufferpuffer · 2 days ago
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What makes you say that Remus gets facts wrong or has put the class behind schedule? JKR describes him in an interview as a wonderful teacher (if you take much stock in her opinion), and the criticisms Snape has of him in the substitute teacher episode are just not well supported. For one thing, it's Snape who falsely tells a student that Kappas are from Mongolia. When he criticizes the progress of Harry's class, he a) doesn't give any consideration for the useless professors they'd previously had, and b) is already well known for setting unreasonable expectations. The students think Remus is great because he gives engaging lessons, not necessarily because he is objectively the best, but if Hermione never criticizes the pace of the class, then he's probably doing fine there as well. As far as disorganization, I can believe that Remus didn't leave good notes for Snape. However, Snape admits this isn’t actually a hindrance--he's just finding something to complain about to help cure the class of their love for Professor Lupin.
Snape's behavior in the chapter is a good example of why Snape's obvious contempt discourages other characters from engaging with him in good faith. Also, it's totally consistent with his character to take an opportunity to leverage the little power he has in response to Dumbledore putting someone he considers dangerous in a teacher's position. Personally I think JKR's accomplishment here is that Snape's hatred of Remus bounces between reasonable and unreasonable as we continue gathering information about Snape vs. the Marauders. Actually it's just fun in general to reread the series and see where Snape was right and where he was wrong.
What makes me say Remus gets facts wrong or put the class behind schedule... It is Snape's observation, mainly - I trust what he has to say - supported by what we see in Remus' classes.
Severus has been a teacher for 13 years and produces students with high level marks. He is a good teacher, just one not every student meshes with - and he doesn't adjust to suit stragglers. It's probably his biggest weakness as a teacher, other than being an asshole.
His critiques of Remus' class are:
'As I was saying before Potter interrupted, Professor Lupin has not left any record of the topics you have covered so far-' 'Please, sir, we've done Boggarts, Red Caps, Kappas and Grindy-lows,' said Hermione quickly, 'and we're just about to start -' 'Be quiet,' said Snape coldly. 'I did not ask for information. I was merely commenting on Professor Lupin's lack of organisation.'
Lupin has left no notes for Snape despite knowing the schedule of every full moon for the year. He didn't tell Severus what they were up to or what activity he wanted the class to do - he hasn't even kept a record of what they have already completed up until this point.
That's disorganization. That's not knowing where they will get up to next week or the week after, despite having a schedule. Hermione is keeping better track of the class than Lupin is.
Could Snape be lying to the students about his disorganisation? That would be out of character, especially since the students don't give a shit about such a thing. That detail irks Severus, not the kids. He's just havin' a bit of a whinge.
If Remus had written a note he could have torn it up, complained that they are behind and set Werewolves as their task. No reason to lie.
'You are easily satisfied. Lupin is hardly over-taxing you - I would expect first-years to be able to deal with Red Caps and Grindylows. Today we shall discuss -'
Could Snape be being hyperbolic here? Yes. I expect him to be. Is Snape a hardass that wants a lot from his students? Yep. Does Snape want to make what Remus teaches them to seem babyish, and his lesson more grown-up and important? Absolutely. Does that mean he is lying? No.
I don't think he is the sort to be too hyperbolic. He wouldn't be out here saying 'I expect a first-year to be able to brew a Draught of Living Death' or something. He never expects the impossible. Whether Red Caps and Grindylows are first, second or third year topics - I believe him when he says they are below their level.
'Well, well, well, I never thought I'd meet a third-year class who wouldn't even recognise a werewolf when they saw one. I shall make a point of informing Professor Dumbledore how very behind you all are…'
...This is harder to tell how serious it is. I don't think they would have been at Werewolves yet. Severus is teaching it out of necessity - would Remus ever do it...? Risk outing himself with his own two hands? I doubt it. Severus is also eager to teach it ASAP because he suspects Remus is a dangerous man working with a serial killer.
So does he seriously think that midway through the year a third year class should know how to identify a werewolf - or does he just want to tell Dumbledore he thinks Remus is avoiding it when he should be focusing on it for the students own wellbeing…? Could go either way tbh. Or both. (Hermione knew the answer but I don't really count that as proof lol)
[��]Snape prowled up and down the rows of desks, examining the work they had been doing with Professor Lupin. 'Very poorly explained … that is incorrect, the Kappa is more commonly found in Mongolia … Professor Lupin gave this eight out of ten? I wouldn't have given it three …'
You say Snape falsely told a student Kappa are from Mongolia. He didn't - he says they are more commonly found there. I don't see any reason not to believe him…? Why would he be spouting incorrect facts around students?
Lupin prioritizes student comfort. Snape prioritizes student learning. Remus is more likely to get facts wrong. Snape is more likely to piss people off. Remus is more likely to mark forgivingly - an 8/10. Snape is more likely to mark strictly - a 3/10.
It all lines up pretty well.
Remus' first lesson is poorly organised and he is lenient with points. He lets a Boggart loose amongst students without planning for every student getting a turn (Hermione misses out). He hadn't planned for Harry's fear ahead of time, or the risk of anyone else in the class finding Voldemort a little too much. He put his own secret at risk by revealing his own fear, which Hermione uses to work out he is a werewolf.
'Excellent, Neville. Well done, everyone. Let me see … five points to Griffindor for every person to tackle the Boggart - ten for Neville because he did it twice - and five each to Hermione and Harry.'
He smooths everything over by giving out house points like candy. He is giving out points to Griffindor for doing classwork…? Whats next, points for tying their shoelaces?
Professor Lupin smiled at the look of indignation on every face. 'Don't worry. I'll speak to Professor Snape. You don't have to do the essay.'
This gets me lol - he's happy they're all pissed off at having to do a big assignment, so he just cancels it. The sheer disrespect...
He could have shortened the length, or pushed back the due date, or dedicated another class to the topic, or even said 'well Professor Snape has his own way of teaching, if he set an assignment I'm sure it's because he thought you could handle it'. Nah. He wants to be the cool teacher that can boss Snape around.
I love the idea that he went to 'speak to Professor Snape' about it. What did he say...? 'Nice try, Sev - I'm cancelling it. B^)'
I don't put much stock into interview responses. The information needs to be at least published in some sort of 'official' format. People can say anything in the spur of the moment.
That being said - Remus WAS a wonderful teacher. I think he was a true natural at it and did a brilliant job overall. His stand-out skills are exactly the things Severus is bad at: connecting with students and encouraging them in ways that suit their individual needs. Remus is a people person and loves the chance to help rather than cause harm.
But he was also a first year teacher teaching a core subject. He was taking at least 2 days off a month and many days off-colour. I wouldn't expect perfection from him, and what Severus critiques (behind on schedule, disorganised, some incorrect information, overly forgiving marking) all sounds like new teacher mistakes. (honestly name a teacher who remains on schedule the whole year irl lol)
It is fun to reread and see where Severus was right and wrong. Especially since on a first read he seems so very wrong, always getting in Harry's way… but most of the time is right, or at least acting very reasonably with the information he has. PoA is a story where he was very wrong. Remus was not working with a serial killer, did not want Harry dead, wasn't working all that hard to bring Harry 'over to his side' (he was sorta annoyingly aloof) and was actually a trustworthy individual and a good teacher - just with a different methodology.
But I don't think that means Severus' observations of Remus' teacher habits were incorrect or grossly hyperbolic. He was looking for evidence that helped substantiated and supported his theories.
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