#and apparently he didn't like the courtesans either!

[astrarche-x]

SWBTS, ch. 18 / HWDTW, ch. 6

i'm very normal abt the fact that they even use the same excuse for their lack of interest!!

[eyesofanapothecarian]

The more time and hints that drop about the The Apothecary Diaries the more I'm realizing that the true purpose of the story isn't a major villian they have to defeat.

Jinshi is truly the Emperor first born but because the Emperor loves His son and Ah Doh more then anything apparently Jinshi does not want to be Emperor.

Which is why he Plays at being the sickly brother of the the Emperor.

But in order for everything to stay smooth he needs to make sure his father has a living second heir and that all the problems of being Emperor are adjusted to make way for a peaceful ruling and take care of the issue that could get him killed.

In no way does Jinshi want to be in the Inner court servicing the courtesans.

However to get out of being heir another will have to be male.

Ah Doh is not one for the courts either anymore the Jinshi who doesn't want it.

(ODDLY JON SNOW AKA AEGON TARGARYEN 5TH COMES TO ME AT THIS MOMENT WHISPERING IN MY EARS.)

XD

To both Varys and Daenerys.

Jinshi definitely is reminding me of Jon Snow a bit.

Jon was also sexually assaulted by Ygritte.

In all likeness MaoMao and Jinshi story here are going to show you how Jon didn't need it and they could worked around everything better with better writers if they really wanted to.

I can't wait.

Been wondering why the plots were so easy now I know the plot is to get out of the game themselves.

[bwoahtastic]

Of kings and queens

So this was inspired by the King!Lewis AU where he sort of disregards his queen (George) for his courtesans and that one ask about Lando disappearing to spend time with the queen. 

“Your majesty.”, Max greeted Lewis, head low, eyes glued to the floor. Charles mimicked him but couldn't help shuffling his feet.

Lewis looked up from the lounge, Seb cuddled into his side.

“Max, Charles, hello.”, Lewis smiled, greeting the two courtesans.

“We're so very sorry to disturb you.”, Max began, both of them had lifted their eyes from the floor at the king's greeting.

Lewis only noticed how agitated the two young men looked when Charles stayed rooted to the spot and didn't try to wiggle in between Seb and Lewis.

“What's the matter?”, Lewis asked and raised a brow as Charles and Max exchanged a glance.

They did their thing where they sometimes communicated between them no one else understanding them. Lewis knew to give them time to discuss what was bothering them. Only when Max rolled his eyes at Charles and turned back to the king to ask “Have you seen Lando?”did Lewis know where their agitation came from.

Lando was another one of his courtesans, young, small and positively adorable, especially when he bounced on Lewis' cock throwing his head back. He was usually hanging around Max and Charles, apparently not being diverted from their constant bickering.

Now that Max had said it, Lewis hadn't seen Lando in quite some time. This wasn't unsual, Lewis' courtesans were allowed to roam the castle freely and Lando was known for getting lost in the library curling up in a corner with five books and only emerge later, when he had read them all.

“I can't say I have. Have you checked the library?”, Lewis asked and Charles nodded, his lower lip poking out in pout. Seb sighed next to Lewis and opened his arms for the young man. Charles took the invitation and shuffled over, laying himslf against Seb's naked chest. It helped him settle a bit, Lewis noticed, but not in the way it usually did.

“We did. We also asked Dan and Michael, they haven't seen him either.”, Max answered.

Dan and Michael were two of Lewis' knights, his most trusted guards.

“It's going to be fine. He probably just fell asleep in a corner somewhere.”, Seb smiled his fingers raking through Charles' hair.

“We checked everywhere.”, Charles murmured, the greens of his eyes filling with tears. Seb turned to Lewis, and even if Lewis was the king and Seb 'just' one of his courtesans, Seb had been beside Lewis for a long time, a present for when Lewis turned into an adult and took over the crown. His longest and most trusted companion. If Seb looked at Lewis like this and asked the king something, Lewis knew had to do it, if he didn't want to be cursed into next week.

He sighed, extracting himself from Seb's side. “I'll go look for him.”, he sighed, pulling on his pants and shirt. And Charles and Max must've been really worried for them to ignore the king's naked form. Instead Max passed Lewis and let himself fall into the place Lewis deserted, let himself be comforted by Seb.

“Good luck.”, Seb murmured, now busy stroking through the hair of two instead of one other man.

“Thanks.”

And Lewis looked. In all the nooks and crannies in the library. In Lando's private quarters. The stables, in all the hidden spots around the castle that Lewis knew about. Nothing.

On a whim he found himself going down to the kitchens, at some points Lando must've gotten some food no matter where he was hiding.

He was greeted by the happy smiles of his cooks, Alex and Nicholas.

“Good afternoon, your majesty.”, Nicholas greeted, stirring something that was slowly gurgling in a huge pot.

“Good afternoon Nicholas, Alex. So sorry to bother you, I was just wondering if you've seen Lando? We haven't seen him in a while and Charles and Max are worried.”, Lewis asked and immediately knew he had come to the right place from the way Alex and Nicholas exchanged a gaze. “What's the matter?”, Lewis asked and Alex sighed.

“You have to promise not to get angry. At either of them.”, Alex murmured and Nicholas nodded.

Lewis knew this was a sort of behaviour not possible in other kingdoms, other kings asked obedience from their staff and Lewis did too, to a certain extent. But he did not ask his staff to betray their friends, and Lando was certainly well liked among his staff.

“Alright, I promise.”, Lewis nodded because, honestly, how bad could it be.

“Lando's been down here to pick up some food for himself and the queen.”, Nicholas admitted and a spark of annoyance went through Lewis.

So Lando was hiding with George. Interesting.

“Don't be too harsh on either of them. You promised.”, Alex muttered but it wasn't like he could order his king to stay calm.

Without another word Lewis turned and exited the kitchen, on his way to the private chambers of his queen.

George had been a rather recent addition to his household. They had been married to one another for political reasons, to build a strong treaty with the Wolff kingdom. George, their son, and Lewis hadn't met until the day before the wedding.

Lewis tried staying nice, and honestly, it wasn't hard at the beginning, because George was quite a beauty. But his character was lacking. He was aloof, curt and wouldn't look at Lewis.

Their wedding had followed every step of tradition, more a performative ritual than a heart felt union. Before Lewis could discuss consuming their marriage with the young men after the festivities, George had excused himself with a headache, probably a side effect from the long travel the day before, and had gone to bed.

The breakfast in the morning was a disaster. Lewis always ate with his courtesans and the table was set for them all with the addition of George. George had sat down on the chair that Charles usually sat in, not knowing it was taken. Usually such a thing wasn't a big deal.

But Charles had been in a mood that morning and had thrown a tantrum at his seat being taken. Lewis hadn't interfered, this wasn't a fight he was going to interfere with. Even when he felt George's eyes on him.

The fight was settled, when George stood, took his plate and sat by Seb's side. Lewis wanted his queen to fit in with his courtesans, the young men were all so important to him and he'd rather have a queen getting along with them.

But George didn't seem to want to fit in with them. He sat there, his eyes focused on his food and he ate, talking to no one. That was the last and only time George had eaten with Lewis and his courtesans, gathering his breakfast and dinner from the kitchens to eat in his quarters.

Lewis saw him walking the garden's quite often, sometimes sat on a bench in a beautiful gown and paint, what Lewis couldn't always see. His dog, Roscoe sometimes at his feet, it seemed George had no issue getting along with the king's dog. Did he think Lewis' courtesans were somehow below the dog?

Sometimes they had to be in the same room for functions and George did his best to fulfil his role. He sat on his thrown by Lewis' side, held his arm, danced with him at a ball they'd been invited to. A smile plastered on his face. Beautiful. Oh so beautiful.

But fake.

He was just playing a role.

And then there was that time. George had come looking for the king, something clutched in his hand and Lewis didn't know who raised George because the young man came almost falling into Lewis' quarters, an excited flush on his face, eye glistening with excitement.

The only issue? Lewis had been busy with Lando, was buried into the young courtesan. Lando already more or less out of his mind with pleasure. George had halted, eyes huge and fixed on the pair.

Lewis had rolled his eyes and pulled a blanket over himself and Lando. He had no issue showing his body to anyone but he knew Lando was too much out of his mind to really give consent to be seen by George like this.

“What?”, Lewis had barked at the young queen, who took a step back out of surprise.

“I'm sorry, I just-”, he had started, his breath hitching, a gloved hand reahcing down to his skirt to clutch the fabric. But Lewis didn't let him finish.

“You what? Out with it.”, Lewis demanded, his tone rough and impatient. He wanted to be done with George so he could return to pleasuring Lando, who was already starting to squirm beneath him from the lack of movement by the king.

“I received a letter and-”

“You haven't been taught to read? Want me to read it out to you? No surprising, seeing as you haven't been taught any manners.”, Lewis scoffed and George's eyes focused on Lewis in shock, a hand, clutching a letter balled into a fist and George's face flushed red.

And then the young man was gone from his quarters.

Lando hadn't been in the mood to continue after and Lewis himself had needed to calm himself down as well. Who did that little dumb think he was. Disrupting Lewis when it was clear he was busy?

Lando had been a bit weird after, Lewis noted after he thought back to that situation. Hadn't searched out Lewis as much as he usually did. Didn't come to him by himself only when Charles and Max demanded his opinion.

Lewis couldn't help the distrust blossom in his chest. An old wound from a long time ago, spent courting another man to become his queen, how that person had planned to take everything from Lewis, had threatened to take everything but Seb. It didn't help that that person was equally as beautiful as George, blond long hair, bright blue eyes.

Was George planning to do the same? To take his kingdom from Lewis? Was his plan to start with Lando, take him first? Lure in Charles and Max with him next?

The queen would have to work hard for Lewis to give everything up.

He reached the queen's quarters and stood for a moment. Listening.

Laughter, Lando's full body laughter from the sound of it, mixed with the bell like laugh of the queen.

Rage encompassed Lewis and he didn't even knock as he threw the door open.

Both queen and courtesan squeaked from surprise and George turned immediately when he saw Lewis' enraged face.

Lando recovered more quickly and turned to George, worried. He was sat on a chair in front of George's vanity, George behind him, the queen's hand still on Lando's shoulders.

“Lando.”, Lewis ordered and Lando's eyes flew to Lewis. The younger man gulped.

“Yes, my king?”

“Would you mind stepping out for a moment, I need to talk to my queen in private.”, Lewis' eyes left Lando, knowing the smaller man wouldn't disobey him. Until he did.

“With all due respect, my king. But I will not.”, Lando stood and walked around the chair and George to stand between the king and the queen.

Maybe Lewis would have, or should have, punished that sort of behaviour but he was too surprised by what was in front of him. Lando's unruly curls had been brushed and styled with little pins, his face held a small layer of make up making complimenting the colour of his eyes and making his lips seem even fuller. But what was most surprising to Lewis was what Lando was wearing.

In the bedroom his courtesans usually only wore clothes that were easy to access and made to look pretty. Sheer fabrics and lace. But now Lando was decked in one peach coloured satins, pearls on the bodice and skirt long and flowing. He looked even more beautiful than usual.

Lando didn't seem to have realised Lewis' wandering gaze and instead berated his king “I'm not going to leave this room because you're going to be mean to George again and he really doesn't deserve that. You've been treating him like shit and he's been so lonely and I won't stand for that. Whatever you have to say to him you say it in front of me.”

George gasped and turned to Lando, Lewis noted how his dress was in a similar style, just in a pale blue.

“This isn't to do with you.”, Lewis argued and Lando scoffed.

“But it is. George is your queen and he's my queen just as much as you are my king.”, he huffed and then suddenly his mind seemed to go somewhere because his face flushed red and he started sputtering “By which I don't mean I share the same relations with George than with you. Not because I wouldn't want to because George is beautiful and all but, I mean... I...”, he stuttered and Lewis had to bite down the smile making it's way onto his face.

Despite his current feelings about George, the image of Lando and George together send a spark of lust rushing through Lewis. George didn't seem to have been untouched by Lando's words as well, as he shuffled on his feet, a blush painting his beautiful features.

Lando had taken the moment of silence to regain his composure. “What I mean to say is. We've been treating George like shit, you included and I'm not going to let you yell at him for my choice.”

“What do you mean we've been treating him like shit? He's the one locking himself away. He came here and only caused drama and the only moment he seems to care about being my queen is when he gets called for a social outing.”, Lewis argued, unable to see any kind of situation where he'd been treating George like shit.

“Well first of, you talk about him as if he's not even here, it wouldn't hurt you to address George, right?”, Lando turned and George met his gaze.

“I-”, George mumbled and then shook his head, dropping his gaze again.

Lando sighed looking between his king and his queen. “Maybe it would help if you told Lewis your side of the story.”, he muttered at George and Lewis raised a brow.

George regarded Lando for a moment and the supporting smile the smaller man sent him seemed to do the trick. He nodded, his fringe falling into his eyes. His head was still turned downward but his eyes lifted to Lewis' and Lewis was once again struck by how beautiful his queen was.

“I know you had a bad first impression. And I tried to make conversation when I arrived and when we met and I'm still very grateful for the opportunity to meet you before the wedding. I know I was rude that first day. I was just. Overwhelmed with everything. I didn't think I would be, my mother had trained me well for this after all. But I had been travelling and tired and I was so homesick and I just didn't know what to talk about with you. And when we were wed I was hoping I could start anew but it all seemed like you were just playing your part, as if you didn't want anything to do with me. You asked me about consuming the wedding like it was a task and I was disappointed because my mother had made it sound so magical. But then again my parents were in love, I am obviously just here to play the part of the queen, I'm sorry for my misplaced hopes. I just wanted to sleep because you honestly didn't seem to like me and all the illusions I grew up in burst like a bubble.”, George murmured and Lewis' heart sunk.

“And then Charles decided to be a jealous asshole.”, Lando rolled his eyes. “I love him dearly, I do, but he was a downright asshole to George and you just sat there watching it all.”

“What?”, Lewis asked and Lando's eyes went back over to George, urging him to tell his story about the breakfast.

“I've got to admit, I knew you had courtesans and I know of the concept from books. I don't think my father has had a courtesan since my older brother was born, but then again the marriage my parents have is different from ours. I was overwhelmed and out of my depth that breakfast. I just wanted to get to know them, figure out how to live with them under the same roof without any of us stepping on each other's toes. But Charles made it very clear that I wasn't wanted.”, George muttered and Lewis was surprised to see tears collecting in the corner of George's eyes.

“Charles made it seem like George was below us and had no place to sit with us at the table, I'm sorry I didn't say anything back then, George.”, Lando apologised and George just shook his head. “I wasn't aware that Max and Charles had purposefully kept George out of any conversation around the table. I thought beside Seb you were going to be fine, Seb is usually really kind and welcoming.”

“Seb has his reasons.”, Lewis threw in, knowing Seb's motives for being curt had to do with the way George's behaviour seemed to them and with what happened the last time Lewis had gotten close to marry.

“As had Charles. We both know Charles and Max are afraid of you turning your back against us and dropping us if George asked for it.”, Lando argued and Lewis hummed.

“I'm not going to. Ask you to drop any of them. From what Lando said they are all really nice people and were things different I'd love to get to know them. I think, the way you treat your courtesans with respect and care speaks for you if anything. And I know I'm never going to share with you what they have, but”, George took a big gulping breath, shaky as the tears started falling from his eyes “I've been so lonely. I'm so stupid. I came here thinking I'd marry a beautiful king, who's known to be kind and then I blew it because I was nervous. I get it you hate me. I'll stay out of your way but, please don't make Lando leave. He's been the only one here who offered me warmth and comfort and I'd be truly miserable without him.”, George begged, Lando turned around at George's words, wound his arms tight around the queen's waist and pulled him forward, hugging him closely.

And Lewis is just speechless as he watches George more or less crumble in Lando's arms, sobbing and crying and he feels miserable himself.

It had all been a misunderstanding.

“I thought you didn't want to be here, just came here for the political position.”, he muttered more to himself than to George. He's caused this young beautiful creature so much pain with his misplaced anger and for not realising how nervous one could be, travelling far from home all by himself, knowing no one in a big castle, being treated like an outsider in what was supposed to be his home.

“Tell him the thing with the portrait, George.”, Lando urged and George shook his head. “If you tell him maybe it'll make it different.”

“What portrait?”, Lewis asked and George gulped, Lando urged him some more and his voice shook as he answered

“You sent a portrait when you asked for a political union. It was long before the talks of a marriage. My father would have made the treaty without a marriage.”, George admitted and Lewis' eyes are drawn to the blue still filled with tears.

“I asked him if a marriage would strengthen that bond and when he agreed I offered myself. It's foolish I know. But when I saw your portrait I knew there was no one else I would rather be married to. For the first time all of my mother's stories about marrying and wanting to build a relationship with a man made sense. I wanted to come here and marry you.”, George admitted and stood up a bit straighter, Lando still turned against his chest.

A moment of silence passed between the three of them before Lando turned, opened his arms to Lewis and muttered “The least you could do is come here and be there for your queen.”

Lewis was moving forward and into the embrace before he could stop himself. Lando melted into his side and Lewis was surprised to find the George's warm frame do the same.

“I'm so sorry.”, Lewis murmured.

“When he walked in on us and you were so mean, I don't think you noticed but he was crying when he left and I just went to check on him and George told me everything. I knew the other would keep you busy often enough so I could slip out now and then to keep George some company. I didn't think I'd forget the time so often because he's honestly such a wonderful person. I'm so excited when the others and you get to get to know him.”, Lando beamed at Lewis and George gulped.

“If you're willing to give me a second chance.”

“If anything, you are the one to give us a second chance.”, Lewis smiled, hesitatingly and George smiled bright and big and beautifully

“There's nothing I'd love to do more.”

And Lewis couldn't help it, warmth surged through him at the sight of his queen that he tilted his head up to kiss the other man, his heart giving a mighty squeeze when George met him halfway across the way. Their kiss was warm and soft, gentle.

Lando made a funny noise and Lewis didn't have to look to know Lando was looking at the two enviously.

“Can I kiss him, too, my king?”, Lando asked and Lewis chuckled

“I'm not the one who you should ask that.”, and watched as his husband's face broke out in a bright blush.

Lando looked at George and the taller was already crouching down to claim the other's lips. Lando almost chirped in their combined embrace.

Lewis laughed as George tried to draw back again but Lando almost jumped to keep their lips connected.

“Come on, let's go talk to the others.”, Lewis decided to save his husband from Lando, knowing once Lando got started there was no holding him back.

Lando whined at him and Lewis laughed “Don't you want to show off your pretty dress to the others?” and just like he thought that had done the trick.

Lando extracted himself quickly but also reached for George's hand to link their fingers together.

“It's an old dress of mine I packed on accident. It hasn't fit me in years, but when Lando came in asking about my pretty dresses, I knew he was going to look beautiful in it.”, George explained to Lewis, eyes warm as he regarded Lando.

“It does, he looks absolutely radiant, well done, George.”, Lewis complimented and when George's ears seemed to burn red even stronger, he knew he had to file complimenting George for later.

George grew more nervous the closer he got to Lewis' quarters, especially when Charles' voice greeted them, talking to Seb.

The trio paused, let George take a deep breath, before they entered the room, George clutching Lando's hand and almost burrowing himself into his husband's side.

When Max' eyes landed on them and saw George, they turned to Seb panicky before back to George, steeled and cold. “What is he doing here?”

Charles nodded from Seb's other side “We don't want him here.”

Before anyone else could say or do anything, Seb raised a brow at Lewis and the king nodded so Seb was the one intervening.

“Okay you two that's enough.”, the oldest of the courtesans called out. Max and Charles turned in his arms, a look of betrayal on their faces. “If the king has brought our queen to spend time with us then we will treat the queen with respect, do you understand me?”

“But Seb-”, Charles tried whining.

“Nothing but Seb. We will treat George with respect.”, Seb answered once more.

“But what if he sends us away?”, Max' voice is quiet and small and nothing at all like the confident young man he usually was.

“I'm not going to.”, George intervened and after sharing a gaze with Lando, who only nodded at him, let go of his husband and Lando to walk towards the trio of courtesans.

Standing in front of them he curtsied and avoided his gaze, clearly showing he respected them. Charles looked at him with big eyes, Max averted his gaze and Seb just smiled.

“My name is George. I'm the queen but please call me George. I'm here to apologise for my initial behaviour. I've got nothing to say for myself but that I was overwhelmed upon my arrival and our first meeting ended in a way that made me feel unable to reach out to you. But I'm here because it would be an honour to get to know you all.”, the queen smiled and Lewis could pin point the second Charles' feelings for the queen did a 180.

Because when Charles looked at the queen in surprise and his face melt into amazement and when even Max looked flustered at the beautiful creature in front of them, Seb's eyes met Lewis' and after the other man nodded, Lewis knew it was all going to be wonderful and the start of something beautiful.

A few days later when George and him finally consumed their marriage and George braced himself against Lando as Lewis took him for the first time, Seb carding his fingers through George's hair muttering soft words of affirmation at the queen, Max and Charles softly caressing his skin, Lewis couldn't believe how lucky he was and almost rued the time they had spent apart, all drawn in their misconceptions.

But then George made a beautiful breathy sound and his eyes fixed on Lewis and all other thoughts were gone.

[itsclydebitches]

I adore talking about this with you, it's so cool to be able to agree, everything I've read is just excusing yen lmao.

And with "geralt would rather do and say things Yen wants to avoid pissing her off" LIKE YEAHH I guess I annoyed yen with my answers and she teleported Geralt out of the tower thing, and then threatened to do it again like??? Like he pissed her off so she has fuck all care about him, was over water thank god but like girl??? omg and her refusing to tell the wticher bros what she was planning on doing to Uma, like I get that they would be hesistent but I mean it's cause it's cruel and painful and they have that trauma around that. She just expects everyone to do what she asks when she asks no questions. (Lambert's "I'm not geralt" when he and Yen are kinda arguring, bb red flags)

I just assumed she didn't believe him cause if she did whats her excuse for behaving how she is lmao??? Like you believe he has amnesia and you still blame HIM over the person who maniplated him KAY.

And goodddd that fucking scene when Triss and Yen see Ciri in Kaer Morhen is genuinely the worst, Triss and Yen see their sis/daughter (not gonna get into how weird I find it that Triss considers Ciri her sister and Geralt is Ciris father and she still wants to fuck him, uncomfy) for the first time in forever, she's alive and well and while Triss is hugging Ciri, Yen kisses Geralt and Triss throws a glare at her. I hated that scene so damn much, it's stupid and shouldn't have been there. (aso I get emotions and all but Yen kissing Geralt is so bitchy, idk even full of gratitude and emotion I wouldn't kiss the man who just dumped me lol, especially not in front of a situation like Triss)

I'm still mad about the women, I really wanted to like them fuck meeee

YOU GOT TO THE PART. Oh thank god, anon, I've wanted to talk about this since we started these conversations lol

Okay, let's set the scene, shall we? You arrive to find that, with our playthroughs anyway, your ex has barged into your home. I say "barged in" because although we (Geralt) know that Yen's help is necessary and she'll be tagging along, the other witchers living there are given no prior warning and, according to Vesemir, Yen teleported in without so much as a "Hello." She then immediately starts ordering everyone around like her servants, failing to explain the situation beyond there being a curse that they have to help with. No, this isn't negotiable. She (still being an ex) takes your old room for herself, which just happens to be the biggest in the keep, and proceeds to toss a bed out the window. It's only later that Vesemir recalls that Triss used to use it, so prior to that everyone apparently just accepted that Yen was destroying their stuff for no understandable reason. Classic Yen. You go upstairs to find her cursing a blue streak at her failed experiment and when you try to lighten the mood, she snaps at you. If you're of the opinion that Yen's every order must be obeyed, this is when you're supposed to drop the conversation entirely, because she said to. Except, funnily enough, you'd like to know why she's up here being The Worst Guest Ever and destroying your property. She tries to justify this by saying that destroying a bed is better than how she could be dealing with her anger over Triss. Be grateful and all that. Except, it's not really about Triss, is it? The line is "You shagged my friend. For upwards of a year. I don't know what your witcher's code says on the matter, but ordinary folk would consider it obscene, base, vile." The blame is not on the woman who knowingly manipulated Geralt into having sex with her while he was vulnerable, it's on Geralt himself! He is the "obscene, base, vile" person for... daring to have amnesia? And when you point that out - "Yen... told you already. I lost my memory" - she yells that she's "lost [her] patience" and teleports you into a lake! This is, apparently, how she really wants to deal with her anger. Not by destroying beds, but by attacking you for things outside of your control. And I do consider it an attack. Yen is meant to be insanely powerful, she is leveraging her magic as a weapon here, particularly when Geralt has spent the whole game commenting on how much he hates portals. Yen knows this. Not just because he says so in her presence, but because she frequently reads his mind, something else he's expressed discomfort with. She's not just demonstrating her power (controlling) and sending him away when he makes a point she doesn't want to acknowledge (immature), she chooses the one thing she knows makes Geralt uncomfortable, perhaps even scared. Then when you've swum your way back to shore and returned to, despite all this, begin her list of chores, she makes a dry comment about how next time she just might drop you high enough for the fall to be fatal. With the next time implied to be, you know, the next time you disagree with her. The next time you dare to do anything other than agree with her every belief and jump at her every command.

The fandom interpretation of all this: "Lol Geralt getting yeeted is so funny. And their banter is just 😍"

Me:

You mentioned red flags and yeah like that ENTIRE SCENE is a crimson banner for me. I mean, by all means, love the fictional ships that are super messed up (I often do), but it astounds me how many fans honestly think this is just a cute interaction with absolutely no problems attached. Nothing to question here, folks. I've mentioned before, but last I discussed this in depth the asker wanted to know if I'd been an asshole to Yen and... that's it. That's the perspective. Any disagreement with her, any pushback, anything that's not complete, blind obedience is something she will not permit AND something most fans take as a given. If you're not doing what Yen tells you to, you're automatically the asshole, and if you're the asshole, you automatically deserve any punishment she chooses to dish out.

Comic spoilers coming up if you want to skip, but this is made abundantly clear in "Curse of Crows." Yen and Geralt are at their best in the moment below, enjoying one another's company on a nice day. Yen asks if Geralt wants to swim and he says nah, he'd rather watch her. She appears to like that idea and, indeed, swims naked while Geralt admires from the shore.

Actually cute right? I really liked this moment! They're cuddled up together and exchanging smiles. It's a rare moment of peace where I can believe that they truly care for one another, outside of passionate sex and not wanting the other dead. Finally, something beyond that incredibly low bar.

...except Yen starts flirting with a young man who shows up, invites him to travel with them, all while refusing to explain why she's interested in his company. The sudden third wheel is clearly bothering Geralt, but Yen continues to ignore his questioning. The answer she finally gives later that night?

She did it purely to mess with Geralt! It's his "just desserts" for "refusing to swim with [her]." She is "not one to be refused - I thought you needed reminding" by giving him "a flick on the nose." When I say that Yen treats Geralt like a dog I mean she literally treats him like a dog. He's a servant who must jump at her every command and if he doesn't, he'll punished for disobedience. He might not even know why he's being punished for a long stretch because Yen enjoys making him think she's a normal person capable of accepting that he doesn't feel like swimming right now - insert the Kaer Morhen scene where she wants to go have sex upstairs, but Geralt wants to catch up with the brothers he hasn't seen in an age here - only to reveal that actually she's made their formerly nice outing uncomfortable because he needs to be put in his place. All of which is followed by, "So... willing to join me now?" The message is very clear! Geralt had better get his ass in that tub unless he wants to be punished some more. Whether he wants a bath right now or not is inconsequential.

This is also the run where she scares the women Geralt was with, despite them being separated right now. Why? "I could."

Claims that Geralt is allowed to return to his companions (who he actually waves away) only for him to realize she's cast a spell to burn him with the water. Yen loves pretending she's okay with things only to punish Geralt for them later - sometimes with physical punishments. And what would have happened if the women had actually joined him again? Do witchers weather hot water better than the average courtesan? Who knows, but Yen clearly doesn't care who might get hurt.

Just like her time in Skellige and at Kaer Morhen, she refuses to explain what's going on. She just expects people to obey her, so-called loved ones included. Geralt was to get her cider, and arrive before her bath went cold, not question what they're doing on this dangerous hunt. He's a servant.

And my favorite, petty moment: transforming her awful inn food into a lavish meal without offering to do the same for either Geralt or Ciri.

"But, Clyde, that's just the comics. They're not really canon." Nah, questions of canon aside, this is 100% Yen's characterization. She's prideful. Immature. Beyond controlling. And punishes anyone who dares to tell her "No." Fans are always pointing out that she's meant to be horrible, she could have been a villain in another life, like any of that explains why I'm supposed to root for this relationship or enjoy her existence outside of being a complex character. Yen is interesting, but she's interesting in a "I can't wait to see her get her own just desserts" way. Not "Wooo now I get to watch this story ignore her behavior again to push a True Love narrative."

She punished Geralt frequently during their first meeting, she punishes him whenever they get together, and, I think, she punished him during the reunion with Ciri. Given our playthroughs, do we really think that after breaking up with her and all this fury over Triss - an anger so deep she destroyed the bed and attacked Geralt - she's just overcome with such joy that she forgets they're not together anymore and forgets the anger she's been nurturing for years? Yen doesn't forget. She's staring at Ciri during that moment, right where Triss is currently running towards them, and then after a considering look at Geralt pulls him in for that kiss. That was calculated. She did that to make a claim she no longer had. To punish them both: make Triss uncomfortable by playing at the "perfect" family reunion; make Geralt uncomfortable by kissing him when she knows he doesn't feel the same way. But of course, the popular reading is that she just loves him so much she couldn't help herself. Riiight.

It's just all SO BAD. (Including, as you say, the ickiness of having Triss lusting after Geralt and referring to Ciri as "little sis.") I love a lot of the women in Witcher - Cerys is a fave, Ciri, Saskia, Philippa, Keira, etc. - but the two I'm supposedly meant to fall in love with are just the worst lol.

Basically:

Half the fandom: TEAM TRISS 🤬

The other half: TEAM YEN🤬

Me: TEAM REGIS 😭