#and anything unbelievably white I tend to turn my head away anyway I’m sorry

[tariah23]

Now I get why ppl block certain fans of things on sight, I really do.

[skzsauce01]

Angel Sent From Up Above

Anniversary Request Special

Synopsis: Hyunjin, a new guardian angel, has fallen in love with a human. His human’s girlfriend, to be precise. Angel AU, background college AU and skater AU.

Warning: violence

Word Count: 8.3k

Pairing: fem!reader x guardian angel!Hyunjin; fem!reader x human!Jeongin

“Is she healed now?” Hyunjin asks the moment Jisung flies in. He knows Jisung is probably exhausted from keeping maladies away from you, but he needs the answer now. “Is her flu gone?”

“Yeah.” Jisung’s wings are tinged gray with ruin, but he keeps them on display for all the other guardian angels to see as he walks past them. They are proof that he has been doing his duty. They’ll return to white soon enough anyway. “Your human’s her boyfriend. Why didn’t you try to check through him? He visited a few times even though she told him not to.” Jisung sighs and shakes his head. “What an idiot. He’s going to get sick himself.”

“He hasn't visited recently, so I haven’t been able to check through him. The Archangel’s forbade me going to Earth unless it was something serious. I think he’s worried I'm spending too much time with humans.”

Jisung shakes his head. “I think he’s worried that he’s going to have to Seungmin you.”

“I'm not going to get expelled.”

Jisung shrugs, and ruin falls from his wings like ash. “You better watch out. You checked up on her too much last time she got sick, so he's probably trying to make sure you won't abandon your human. He's banished people for less. Case in point: Seungmin.”

“She's important to Jeongin, so she's important to me."

Jisung sighs. “Sometimes I think you’re more protective of her than I am.”

He says it as a joke, but Hyunjin knows it’s the truth. He cares deeply about you, maybe even more than his own human, but he will never say that last part aloud.

Hyunjin used to believe that becoming a guardian angel was the best thing that ever happened to him. All of his afterlife, he had wanted to be promoted, to be granted the pure white wings and the crown of sun rays. Regular angels had wings and halos but never white wings and golden halos; silver and silver was the “regular” combination.

Watching over a human was considered the highest honor an angel could receive, and everyone clamored to gain the attention of the Archangel. Hyunjin was not immune. He worked as a messenger for years, delivering even the most inane notes between the higher ups. He endured the attacks, verbal and sometimes physical, and kept his mouth shut. Eventually, the Archangel recognized his efforts, and before dawn broke on Earth, Hyunjin was named the new guardian angel of a baby boy, Yang Jeongin.

“You will protect him. You will guide him,” the Archangel said. “He is your responsibility now and yours alone. Do you understand?”

From Heaven, Hyunjin could only look at the wet, wrinkled face of his human. His human. “I understand.”

Then the Archangel flew off, and Hyunjin flew to Earth for the first time to meet the baby. No one noticed him as he phased through the hospital walls nor as his giant wings folded back. Only Jeongin would be able to see his guardian angel.

“Hello there, little one,” he whispered to the swaddled baby. The boy was fast asleep, and Hyunjin gently stroked his face. “I just wanted to introduce myself. I’m Hyunjin, your official guardian angel. I’ll always be nearby now, and I’ll always make sure you’re safe. Sometimes you won’t be able to see me, but I’ll always be watching over you. I promise.”

Jeongin stirred awake and stared back at Hyunjin. Two sets of eyes blinked at each other, one full of curiosity and one full of tenderness.

“Go back to sleep,” Hyunjin said. He drew his hand over the baby’s face, and Jeongin’s eyes fluttered shut. “Sweet dreams, little one.”

Guardian angels talked about their humans like parents, bragging about how gifted they were and sharing complaints about what unbelievable thing they did the other day. Hyunjin mostly did the latter. Jeongin was an adventurous child, which was just a nice way of saying that he liked to play with danger. Hyunjin often had to fly in to save him or to redirect the threat somewhere else. The other angels joked that Hyunjin stayed on Earth more than Heaven sometimes. He didn’t mind though. Even with his human’s shortcomings, Hyunjin adored him. He watched from above as Jeongin said his first words, attended his first day of kindergarten, and got into his first fight.

“He’s a troublemaker,” Minho observed.

Minho was a guardian angel as well, but he tended to lurk on the outer edges of the realm as the other angels avoided him for a reason Hyunjin hadn’t figured out yet. Hyunjin liked him well enough and treated him like a mentor, sometimes a friend.

“Hey, you’re not one to talk. Your human started a black market of candy at school.”

Minho shrugged. “I didn’t say it was a bad thing.”

Jeongin didn’t end up growing up into a troublemaker, to Hyunjin’s relief. The impulsive streak was still there, but he utilized his judgement more now. There were no car crashes or cases of alcohol poisoning, and when Jeongin asked out girls, it was with daisy bouquets and a suggestion to get lunch. Hyunjin slowly stopped making routine trips to Earth and chose to view Jeongin from the comfort of Heaven. It was there that Hyunjin noticed you.

“I think she’s upset with him,” Jisung abruptly says. “She cried after a video call with him, so if your human starts acting strangely, that’s why.”

The news makes Hyunjin stop mid-step, and he turns to his friend. “She cried? What? What did she cry about?”

“I don’t know. I was too busy trying to lower her temperature. Can you believe that she almost hit—”

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

“I just got back! There is no ‘earlier!’ Besides, we aren't allowed to interfere in anything that isn't dangerous. Heartbreak, if this is even what this is, is temporary."

“Humans do drastic things for love.” The movies has seen while watching Jeongin have told him that much.

“Which we will attend to when it happens. You’re a new guardian; you’ll understand them better over time. Not everything is life-threatening, fragile as they are.”

Hyunjin turns away from Jisung and glances down at Earth. The clouds part, and all of the brick buildings of the university rush towards his eyes as he focuses on Jeongin. He’s asleep at his desk, his lamp still burning bright above him. How long has it been since the video call? Or perhaps he’s just tired from the events of his day. But he looks so small and vulnerable in his chair. Jeongin isn’t fragile — the amount of situations he has gotten out of covered in bruises and blood is astronomical — but he is mortal.

“But she loves him,” Hyunjin softly says, “and he loves her.”

“Exactly. Humans fight over small things all the time, and this is one of those times.” Jisung places a hand on Hyunjin’s shoulder to placate him. “Trust me.”

“... I trust you.”

“Good. I need to rest, but we can catch up and see what stupid things they do after.”

The moment Jisung flies off to the rest area, Hyunjin goes against the Archangel’s orders and flies to your apartment. When he peers inside your bedroom window, he spots you sitting in bed in the dark, your phone screen illuminating your face. He phases inside and sits at your desk chair, resting his forearms at the top rail. You can’t see him, but he wishes that you could.

You mindlessly scroll through messages, sniffling every few seconds. Whether it’s from your crying or your illness, he doesn’t know. He can’t hand you a tissue or tell you comforting things or hug you like Jeongin can. When you wrap your blanket tighter around your shoulders, he wraps his wings around himself as well.

Suddenly you throw your phone beside you and let out a heavy sigh. “It can’t get any worse than this,” you say to yourself.

Hyunjin waits for you to say more, but you only stare at the ceiling with blank eyes. He can’t compel you to talk; only Jisung can, but he’s not here. So instead, Hyunjin knocks over the glass of water on your bed when you shift into a more comfortable position.

“Of course it can,” you sigh again and blot as much water as you can with your tissues. You pull another one out of the box with more force than necessary and furiously dab your sheets. “First I get sick, then I miss a homework deadline that I can’t make up because my professor lost his heart thirty years ago along with his hair, then my boyfriend breaks up with me for like no reason, apparently I have an exam tomorrow, and now I’ve spilled water all over my bed, so I can’t even sleep. Thank you, universe. I really needed this.”

He immediately regrets his decision.

“Worst freaking week of my life,” you mumble as you throw away the wet tissues. Hyunjin almost reaches out for your arm when you pass by, but he retracts it just in time.

When you climb back into bed, you draw your blanket up to your chin and begin murmuring numbers. They come out calm and even at first, but they become more tense as time passes. Hyunjin half-listens as he scans the contents of your desk. A laptop, a shopping bag, an open notebook with doodles on the margins, an uncapped black pen, and a pack of gum. He presses his forefinger to the point of the pen, drawing a tiny heart by touch. Then he stamps the heart among all your misshapen stars and imaginary flowers. You might just think it’s an ink smear, but he hopes you look at it and smile.  

You hit three hundred and forty-seven before you begin to sound drowsy. Hyunjin stands at the foot of your bed, watching as you finally drift off in the middle of three hundred and ninety-three. Serenity settles across your features.

“I’m sorry for what I did earlier. Good night and sweet dreams,” he whispers. He pats the corner of your bed before flying off into the night.

He needs to see Jeongin.

It was hard not to notice you when you were on a collision course with Jeongin. You were going too fast, and Hyunjin’s wings couldn’t carry him to Earth in milliseconds. With horror, he watched as you sharply turned the building corner on your skateboard and just barely jumped off in time when you saw Jeongin about to make the same turn.

“You okay?” Jeongin asked as he hurried to stop your runaway board.

“I should be asking you that!” you exclaimed as you followed him. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have veered that close to the wall. You’re not hurt or anything, right?”

“I’m fine, don’t worry.”

“Good. I can’t risk getting sued again.” Unsure of how to respond, Jeongin nudged back your board to you. You neatly stopped it mid-roll with your foot. “Thanks, by the way. See you around.”

“Yeah, see you.”

You kicked off, but before you left the area, you turned around and gave him a wave. Jeongin waved back, albeit more shyly than you. After a moment’s hesitation, he yelled out, “Be careful!”

“I’ll try!”

Jeongin laughed and turned the corner, looking at the brick wall with more wistfulness than most people usually did. Before he entered the building, he peeked around the next corner, as if he expected you to come speeding by again. You didn’t.

After that, he noticed you more often, usually swerving around strangers as you cut through campus. Whenever he had the opportunity to say hello, he did so with a smile, and you returned it with a waggle of your fingers before disappearing into the crowd. Once, you nearly crashed into a railing. You laughed it off and gave him another wave along with a funny face. Hyunjin felt something inside him melt. Jeongin must have too since he headed to his next class with the most lovestruck expression Hyunjin had ever seen on him.

It was then that Jeongin began forming a plan.

Two weeks after the first meeting, Jeongin waited in the quad for you to show up. Just as he hoped, you came walking down the steps fifteen minutes later, skateboard tucked underneath your arm. It was supposed to seem like a coincidence, but Hyunjin had followed Jeongin as he scoured nearby skate spots, asking around about you. Yesterday, he had learned where you liked to practice tricks. He got up from his bench, hands hidden behind his back, and approached you with the same moves and confidence he had rehearsed in the bathroom mirror.

“Hey! How have you been?” he called up from the very bottom.

Meanwhile, Hyunjin groaned. Jisung, who Hyunjin had tracked down two days prior to this, also did so.

“You said he was a charmer,” Jisung complained. “Look at him. He can’t even charm dogs with a treat.”

“For your sake, I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that. Just wait though. It’s going to get better.”

Jisung huffed. “It better. She deserves the best.”

Fortunately, you took it all in stride and waved hello at Jeongin. When you were finally beside him, you answered, “I’ve been good, thanks. You’re not here to sue me, right?”

“No! I was actually wondering if you could teach me how to skateboard. If you have time, that is.”

“Really? But I almost killed you that one time. I mean, I’d be happy to, but it’s kind of weird after what happened.”

“I’d rather skateboard than walk, and you seem pretty good at it.”

You shifted your weight to one foot, and Hyunjin chuckled when he saw Jeongin’s eyes wander to your jutted-out hip. Jisung made a noise of disapproval.

“Okay, what is this really about?”

“Skateboarding,” Jeongin said. Then he took a step closer and held out a bundle of daisies towards you. “And lunch, if you want.”

You broke out into a grin. “I am a little hungry right now. L/N Y/N, skateboarding extraordinaire and ramen enthusiast, at your service.”

“Yang Jeongin, also a ramen enthusiast. Nice to officially meet you.”

Jeongin is still sleeping at his desk when Hyunjin arrives. He shifts and exhales when the wind from Hyunjin’s wings create a small breeze but does not wake.

“How could you break up with her?” Hyunjin says. “She’s amazing and wonderful, and you decide that you don't want to be with her? Sometimes I wonder what’s going on in your head.”

Silence.

“If I were human, I would have never done that, but…”

Jeongin shifts again, burying himself deeper into the crumpled hoodie he’s using as a pillow. The table squeaks, and a mechanical pencil rolls off the desk. Hyunjin quietly places the pencil back to its initial place and shuts off the lamp.

“Take care of yourself, and make good choices, okay? I can’t do that for you.”

Instead of flying back to Heaven, he perches on the roof of the building across from Jeongin’s. Jeongin finally wakes up and notices that his light is off. He glances at it confusedly for a few seconds, wondering if he misremembered leaving it on. In the end, he decides it’s not worth the effort and falls into his bed. He didn’t even spare you a thought, a crime in Hyunjin’s eyes.

Then he realizes he may have a bigger problem on his hands.

Jisung.

Jisung is going to be very upset when he finds out about this.

Over the weekend, you brought Jeongin to the quad to learn the basics.

“Put both feet on the board now,” you said as you walked alongside a skateboarding Jeongin. He was borrowing yours to practice, so he treated it with more reverence than a well-used board would need. Even though he was pushing with his back foot, he was going at a snail’s pace.

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“I’m going to lose my balance and fall.”

Perhaps it wasn’t reverence after all.

You shook your head. “No, you won’t. You’re not going that fast anyway. You can just step off if you really feel like you are. Give it a shot.”

To his credit, Jeongin lifted his foot a few centimeters off the ground before planting it back. “I’m going to lose control.”

While you did your best to persuade Jeongin to give it another try, Jisung gave Hyunjin a dissatisfied look. “I remember you telling me he was a daredevil. What is happening?”

He didn’t exactly know either. “He’s in front of his crush; give him a break.”

“These two better not end up dating. She deserves so much better than him.”

Hyunjin gave him a dirty look, Jisung gave him a “What? It’s true” type of a shrug.

You step in front of the board. “How about this?” you said. “You stand on the board with both feet, and I’ll pull you along so you can get used to the feeling and be less of a scaredy cat.”

“Okay.”

You took both of his hands and slowly guided him backwards. At the same time, you instructed him to put more weight on one side to change directions. Jeongin was surprisingly stable, and Hyunjin watched proudly as his human suggested that you increase your speed a little.

“See? It’s not bad?” you said. “Keeping balance isn’t that hard, right?”

“Yeah. Also,” he grinned, his meek demeanor completely gone, “we’re holding hands now.”

Your eyes widened as you glanced down at your joined hands, and you let out a delighted gasp. “You sneaky little—” Much to Jeongin’s alarm, you let go and smirked. “If you go past the bench without constantly pushing, I’ll let you hold my hand when you walk me home.”

“Kind of presumptuous of you to assume that I would offer to walk you home,” he teased, resting one foot on the floor. “Or is that what you want me to do?”

“You asked me to lunch with flowers. You were going to.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Then he kicked off, skating past the bench with ease. Still going, he looked over his shoulder and shouted, “Do you want to grab doughnuts before you head home?”

“Watch the lamp!” you yelled as you ran towards him. “Jeongin, stop looking at me and turn around!”

The collision with the lamppost was unavoidable, so Hyunjin simply watched as Jeongin took a flying leap off your board and took a tumble on the concrete. While you fumbled for band aids — Jeongin’s knee was scraped and bloody — Jeongin patted his pockets to check that his phone had not fallen out.

“So doughnuts?” he sheepishly asked.

“Sure. I’ll buy.” You finally found one hidden in the bottom of your backpack along with an alcohol wipe. “Guess you get to hold my hand after all.”

“How are you so prepared?” he asked, nodding to the contents you had unceremoniously dumped out whilst rummaging. “You have tweezers and gauze?”

“My mom made me carry a first-aid kit with me when she found out that I skate to class. It comes in handy.” You ripped open the package. “This might hurt.”

“You can kiss it to feel better.”

You laughed and pressed the alcohol wipe to his knee. “You’re such a flirt, I love it. Does it hurt?”

“Yeah, hurts a lot.”

You opted to kiss the band aid instead, causing Jeongin to pout and Jisung to sigh in relief. When you stuck it onto his skin, Jeongin made a big production of being relieved from pain, which made you laugh and shove him.

“No! She’s in love with him,” Jisung groaned. His wings drooped, and Hyunjin swore his halo actually dimmed when you kept your hands in Jeongin’s after you pulled him up. “Well, Hyunjin, looks like you and I are going to be best friends.”

Hyunjin personally saw no issue with that. Like Jeongin, he had been charmed by your antics and your easygoing nature. Protecting his human’s friends, family, or lovers wasn’t part of Hyunjin’s duty, but he felt compelled to watch over you too.

Because if he were human, he would have fallen in love with you too.

In the midst of his lamenting, Jisung flies down and sits beside him on the roof. His wings are still slightly gray, and Hyunjin strangely begins to feel self-conscious of his pure white ones.

“Didn’t the Archangel forbid you from doing frivolous things?” Jisung says in lieu of a greeting. “I saw you at her apartment earlier.”

“I just wanted to check up on her. Not that I thought you lied,” he hastily adds. “I wanted to see for myself. She’s a little… distraught.”

“She got into a fight with her boyfriend. It’s normal.” When Hyunjin doesn’t reply or even make a sound, he grows concerned. “Is it something else? She’s getting sued, isn’t she? I knew it was going to happen someday. When I find that smug richie-rich, I’m going to—”

“Jeongin broke up with her.”

“What.”

Hyunjin repeats his sentence, trying to block the view of Jeongin’s bedroom with his body. Jisung looks like he’s ready to rain judgement onto him, and while Hyunjin is rather good at his job, he’s not sure if he can hold back an enraged guardian angel. Jisung takes several deep breaths before regaining the little composure he can muster.

“I knew I hated him for a reason. I knew he didn’t deserve her,” he spits out, though the venom in his voice wavers. “Why would he even break up with her? She loved him so much.”

Hyunjin shrugs. “That’s what I want to find out.”

“When you find out, let me know. I’m going to see her now.”

Hyunjin stays on the roof until sunrise. Jeongin sleeps without any trouble, and when he wakes up, he looks fresh-faced, no guilt hanging over his head. Hyunjin feels something inside him cracking apart.

You truly don’t deserve this.

“Do you think they’re going to crash and burn?” Jisung asked as he studied you and Jeongin walking through the park, practically glued to each other’s sides. “I think they’re moving too fast. It’s only been a month.”

Hyunjin really didn’t care about that. As long as you and Jeongin were happy, he was happy. “A month is a pretty long time for them. Mortal lives are short.”

“Exactly. They should be more selective about their life choices.”

Hyunjin only rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to you. You were pointing at the tiny carousel in the middle and tugging at Jeongin’s sleeve. You dragged him over and pushed a coin into the slot for the ride. The lights lit up and a carnival theme played while you struggled to wedge yourself between the saddle of an elephant and the roof of the carousel. Jeongin sat on the edge, beside the tiger, and chuckled at your flailing limbs.

Hyunjin suppressed his own laugh. You were something special. Just last week, the two of you had made it official and started dating. You had done it in the sweetest possible way.

You had taken him to a local skateboarding shop to help him pick out his first board. Once he had chosen one — the ‘one’ being a light blue deck patterned with multicolored doughnuts — the staff at the shop sent him to the back to try it out. Meanwhile, you made the age-old excuse of needing to use the restroom when you were actually getting the flowers you had hidden in the back.

Hyunjin had turned into a pile of fluff when you gave Jeongin the daisy bouquet and asked if he wanted to officially be your boyfriend. You were so earnest. Jeongin playfully pretended to think it over, a feat Hyunjin knew he wouldn’t have been able to do if he were in his position. There were no fireworks or confetti when Jeongin finally said yes, but the staff did clap and cheer. Jisung looked on with contempt. Hyunjin looked on with envy.

“You know,” Jisung abruptly said, snapping Hyunjin back to the present, “when her last boyfriend broke up with her, she had ice cream for dinner for a week.”

“Oh.”

“You see why I’m being wary of him now?”

Hyunjin did, but Jeongin was different. His previous relationships always ended well, and on one occasion, he remained friends with his ex. He sighed and decided that a change of topic was necessary so he wouldn’t have to potentially endure a tirade. “Did you hear about Minho’s human? The bank he worked at got robbed, and he got held at gunpoint.”

That caught the overprotective Jisung’s ear. “What? Is he okay?”

During Hyunjin’s recountment of Minho’s recountment, the carousel ride ended. You squeezed out of your spot, hitting your head on the roof, and Jeongin pulled you in for a forehead kiss. The world grew brighter when you smiled, he realized.

Hyunjin shadows Jeongin around all day, hoping to learn the reason for the breakup. Unfortunately, Jeongin doesn’t say anything. He does show some regret though, as he scrolls through past messages and old pictures. When he heads to classes, he opts to walk instead of skateboarding like usual and avoids the quad whenever possible.

In the evening, while Jeongin is chewing on his salad like a cow to cud, Hyunjin pays you a visit. He finds in the freezer section of the grocery store with three pints of ice cream in your basket. From the looks of it, you’re about to add another three to your haul. Peanut butter pretzel sounds equal parts delicious and confusing.

Hyunjin studies your expression, frowning at the same time you do. Your eyes are ringed with red, your jaw tight, and your eyebrows seem permanently furrowed. When he follows you back home, he half expects you to start crying on the way, but you hold fast and manage to open a pint of the salted caramel flavor before the tears finally come. There’s no wailing, just sniffling and the sound of you furiously wiping at your face with the sleeve of your hoodie. In the midst of it all, you find the strength to reorganize the freezer to make space for the other pints. Something about that makes Hyunjin’s heart drop.

By the time your roommate discovers you in the kitchen, the entire refrigerator has been reorganized and the ice cream finished. You sit in a dark room, your finger hovering above the ‘SEND’ button of a message to Jeongin. Hyunjin can see it if he flies above you: “Can you please just tell me why? You keep saying you did something wrong, but I don’t even know what it is. Please let me decide if it’s worth breaking up over.”

“Rough day?” she gently asks as she flips on the switch.

“Yeah.”

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

“Maybe tomorrow. I just wanna process it right now,” you hollowly say. You grab your skateboard — the same black, paint-splattered one you had last year — and unlock the front door. “I’m going out for a ride, but I’ll be back in an hour or so.”

“Stay safe.”

After you leave, Jisung phases through the kitchen walls and hisses at Hyunjin, “What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be with Jeongin?”

He nearly forgot about him. Eating dinner isn’t a dangerous task anyway though. Besides, if Jeongin does get physically harmed somehow, Hyunjin will feel an echo of the pain. Hyunjin glances at the door, and Jisung shakes his head.

“I’ll take care of her. Go back to Jeongin, and make sure he’s okay. You can’t keep leaving him all the time.”

“Fine, I’ll go.”

“Good.”

Hyunjin reluctantly goes back to Jeongin, who is still eating his salad. His resolve from last night is clearly gone as evidenced by his melancholy expression as he scrolls through even more photos. The one of you in mid-air makes him clutch his phone.

“Let me get one of you when you’re really high up,” Jeongin suggested. He was comfortable gliding around on a skateboard now, but nowhere comfortable enough to try any tricks. Nevertheless, that didn’t stop you from trying to get him to learn. The “pop shove it” was your favorite, solely for the amount of height you could get.

“Okay.”

As you did over and over again for your enthusiastic boyfriend who was unfortunately not that great of a photographer, Hyunjin observed from a rooftop behind Jeongin. Sometimes you looked like you were flying. He could imagine wings protruding from your back, and if the sun hit you just right, there appeared to be a halo as well.

“I got one!” Jeongin exclaimed as he held up his device to you. “Look.”

Hyunjin couldn’t see for himself, but your mouth dropped into an ‘o’ once you took a first glance. A flustered smile made its way onto your face, and everything about you turned soft.

“This looks amazing,” you said. You sidled up to him and rested your cheek against his shoulder, turning your head towards him. “I love you.”

The words hung in the air for a few seconds as both Hyunjin and Jeongin tried to process them. This was the first time you had ever said them, and it came seemingly out of nowhere. Hyunjin recovered first.

“Say ‘I love you’ back, you moron,” Hyunjin whispered, like Jeongin would be able to hear him from this distance. “‘I love you too.’”

“I wanted to say it first,” Jeongin finally said. “Ugh, I had it all planned out too. We were supposed to get doughnuts after this, and I was going to buy you one of those heart-shaped ones.”

You kissed him on the cheek and intertwined your fingers with his. “We can still do that.”

At the doughnut shop, he said the words second, and you kissed him again, leaving a crystal of glaze on the corner of his mouth. Hyunjin licked his lips as if you had left it on him instead.

“Did you find out?” Jisung asks when Hyunjin leaves Jeongin to check up on you. You’re skating around the city, making sharp swerves and weaving in-between lampposts. Jisung is trailing behind you in the sky, but he slows when he sees Hyunjin approaching.

“No, but—”

“Then go back to him. Hyunjin,” Jisung sighs, “I know you care about her, but she’s not your human. Jeongin’s your responsibility.”

“I know but—”

“Go back. And I’m telling you this not as your friend but as your senior. You’re a guardian angel, and you need to take your responsibilities seriously. I’ll get the Archangel involved if I have to. Do you want to get Seungminned?”

The threat of the Archangel strangely doesn’t scare him anymore, however. In fact, the Archangel being involved may solve many of his current issues.

“I’ll find you again when I find out,” Hyunjin slowly says.

Jisung nods in approval before racing after you again. Hyunjin heads to Heaven, not to keep an eye over his human but to become human.

Ten months into Jeongin’s relationship with you, Hyunjin asked Minho, “Is it possible to give up your divinity?”

Minho gave Hyunjin a curious look. “Is being a guardian angel that taxing for you? You haven’t even experienced a full lifespan yet. I know, twenty year-olds are annoying, but it’s not nearly as bad as forty year-olds and their mid-life crisis.”

“I’m just curious. Or, as a last resort,” he added, hoping that Minho would stop being suspicious if he joked about it. “My human’s been making some dumb choices.”

A lie, but Minho fell for it.

“I told you he was going to be a troublemaker!” he cackled. He sympathetically patted Hyunjin’s back. “If I’m being honest, I thought about it a few times. I always get assigned to the troublemakers. Probably because the higher-ups hate me for not tolerating their BS. They’re always playing favorites. Anyway, the easiest way is to get expelled by the Archangel. It’s happened a few times before.”

“Can’t you just ask him?”

Minho smirked. “You don’t think other angels have tried that? He only expels the ones who don’t want to be. It’s supposed to be a punishment.”

“What’s the hard way then?”

“Same thing minus the Archangel getting involved: your wings getting cut off,” he matter-of-factly answered. “The halo will break once your wings are detached. It’s only been done once, by the way.”

Hyunjin absentmindedly rubbed the area where the bones of his wings met with his shoulder blades. All he needed were two clean cuts across his practically impenetrable back.

“How do you do that?”

“With the Archangel’s sword. Another angel has to cut it though; you can’t do it yourself.”

The Archangel would likely banish him to Hell for even asking about his weapon. If Hyunjin ever did manage to steal the sword away, Jisung would never agree to it. He couldn’t just ask any angel to help him.

“How do you know about all this?” Hyunjin asked.

Minho hesitated, something he rarely did. He quickly recovered, hiding his sudden apprehension with his usual devil-may-care nonchalance. “I can’t give away all of my secrets.”

“We’re friends, aren’t we?”

Friends. The word hung in the air like the sun, and Hyunjin knew that Minho would tell him because underneath all of his bluster was loneliness. Because no one liked Minho, or if they did, they still avoided him anyway.

“Yeah, we are,” Minho answered, smiling for a second before a strange expression crossed over his face, pride mixed with a touch of sadness. “Do you really think the Archangel would have expelled one of his favorite guardian angels that easily?”

“Who are you talking about?”

“Seungmin. He asked me to cut his wings for him.”  

“I need you to cut my wings,” are Hyunjin’s first words to Minho after not speaking to him for days.

To his credit, Minho is only speechless for a few seconds. The dove in his hand pecks at him for more headpats before he recovers. “Well, do you have the sword?”

“No, but I think I can get it. When I do though, would you do it? You’re the only one I trust.”

Minho sighs and tosses the bird out of Heaven, grimacing a bit when he hears it squawk. When he faces Hyunjin, he smiles the same smile he did when he talked about Seungmin. “It’s always me, huh? I’ll do you one better. I’ll steal the sword for you. The Archangel’s been pissing me off anyway.”

For once, Hyunjin’s thoughts are not on you but his friend. He imagined that Minho would be willing, but perhaps he’s too willing. “Are you trying to get expelled as well? We can go together.”

“No, I like being immortal. I hate all of the BS I get put through sometimes, but the Archangel can’t kick me out. He swore an oath to me a long time ago before he got promoted, and it’s pretty much unbreakable. Besides, even Heaven needs a scapegoat.”

That explains why virtually no angels interact with Minho, Hyunjin being the exception. He has never heard of the Archangel being oathsworn, though it seems likely that the Archangel wants to keep that a secret.

“How are you going to get it?” Hyunjin asks. “How did Seungmin even get it? The Archangel always has it with him.”

“Seungmin was one of his favorites,” Minho reminds him. “He had easy access to him, and the Archangel trusted him enough to let him borrow it for ‘a study.’ Don’t worry about me though. Just wait for me on Earth. Somewhere where no one goes. I’ll find you, slice off your wings, and the Archangel won’t even know what happened to you.”

“That’s not possible. He always keeps it on him.”

Minho shrugs, a gleam in his eyes. “I’ve done it before. Why do you think I’m the scapegoat?”

Seungmin. For Minho and now Hyunjin, being Seungminned didn’t mean being expelled for being frivolous anymore; it meant leaving of your own accord.

“What happened to him?” Hyunjin asked. “Why didn’t the Archangel grant his divinity back? Someone should have spotted him on Earth.”

Minho’s wry grin was back. “You think the Archangel wanted everyone to find out the golden boy of Heaven no longer wanted to be an angel? Plenty of angels already saw him roaming Earth. It was easier to let everyone think that Seungmin was banished. So when they saw him on Earth, he was just a fallen angel, nothing important.” He nudged Hyunjin’s arm, and the solemn atmosphere vanished. “A troublemaking human isn’t all that bad. Like I said, the twenties are annoying, but they’re manageable. Is he one of those partying types?”

“He goes out sometimes,” Hyunjin carefully replied. Jeongin liked hanging out with his friends and you — mostly you, now that Hyunjin thought about it — but he wasn’t getting blackout drunk every night. At least, Hyunjin hoped he wasn’t. He usually watched over you if you were ever in the vicinity. “Speaking of which, I should check up on him.”

Minho said his goodbyes, and Hyunjin flew back to Earth once he saw that you weren’t with Jeongin. You were studying at your desk, rolling a pen between your fingers, reading through a document on your laptop. The desk light casted a warm glow on your face. You frowned, and your lower lip swelled outwards.

He wished he were human.

Just as Minho said, Hyunjin waits for him to arrive in a secluded part of the university campus. The building rooftop is devoid of anyone, and the area surrounding it is empty as well. The evening turns into night, then night into the early morning when the sky begins lightening. Still, Minho has not come.

He distantly wonders how Jeongin is faring and his promise to Jisung. When he’s human, he’ll ask Jeongin directly, maybe in disguise of a survey: “Why did you break up with your last partner?” Even to him, it sounds stupid. However, that’s not the real reason why he’s giving up his divinity, so it hardly matters to him. Jisung is resourceful; he’ll find out eventually.

Finally, when the sun peeks over the horizon, Minho descends from Heaven, a familiar silver sword in his hand. He lands beside Hyunjin, a triumphant smile on his face. But his usual humor has been replaced with solemnity.

“You’re sure about this?” he asks as he rests the blade on the top of Hyunjin’s wings.

He has never felt so sure of anything in his life. “Yes.”

“It’s going to hurt.”

“Then make it quick.”

Searing pain shoots through his body as the sword pierces through the thin skin and into the bone. The process is not as nearly as seamless as Hyunjin hoped it would be, and Minho breathes heavily as he pushes the blade down. Bones snap, feathers drift to the floor, and blood trickles down his back. The pain only grows greater near the end, but Hyunjin grits his teeth and keeps quiet. Dawn breaks when his wings finally fall to the floor, no longer white but splattered with red. Soon they fade into dust, and the remnants scatter into the wind. His golden halo shatters into sunlight. The world dulls as the last of his powers disappear, but everything feels much better than when he was an angel.

“Thank you,” he whispers to Minho, who he cannot even look at anymore. His eyes would be burned.

“You’re fallen, not quite mortal and not quite divine. You won’t be affected by all of an angel’s power.”

When Hyunjin cautiously glances at him, Minho waves the bloody sword at him. “See?”

“Yeah.” He wanted humanity, but this is good enough for him. He just needs you to be able to see him, hear him, touch him.

“I need to go back before Heaven becomes Hell, but find Seungmin if you can. He can help you figure things out. Last I heard, he’s living somewhere in the mountains.”

“Thank you,” he repeats. “Minho, I can’t even put it into words about how much this means to me. Thank you for everything you’ve done.”

Minho pats his shoulder before stripping off his clean shirt. “Clean yourself before you leave. No one wants to witness a walking crime scene this early in the morning.”

When he flies back to Heaven, the last thing Hyunjin sees are his wings, still pure white.

“Hey,” you said as you laced your fingers with Jeongin’s. He had just finished class, and you had waited for him outside the building. Hyunjin had sat on the other end of the bench, savoring the proximity. That was the closest he would ever get to you. “Are you busy tonight? The skate shop just announced — literally an hour ago, those jerks — that they were doing a midnight drop, and I kind of want a new deck.”

“Ugh, I’ve been meaning to buy new trucks, but I have to meet up with my group tonight. Send me pictures though.”

Disappointment only momentarily flooded through Hyunjin. If it was anything like the last two meetups, it would be at the library, and the library was a safe place. Jeongin would be fine there. Hyunjin would be free to shadow you as you went to the skate shop.

“I can get it for you,” you offered.

He shook his head. “It’s fine. Maybe I’ll just wait for a sale.”

“Don’t be surprised if I do get you new trucks,” you warned. You let go of his hand and held his arm. “I still owe you for last month’s dinner.”

Jeongin shook his head again, a smile making its way onto his face. “You don’t owe me anything but a kiss.”

“Flirt,” you laughed as you pressed your lips to his cheek. “Never change, Yang Jeongin.”

That night at the skate shop, Hyunjin hovered above you as you stood in line, chatting with others. There were no unscrupulous characters around, but he stayed with you, only going back to Jeongin when Jisung insisted. However, by then, Hyunjin had already seen you eyeing the shiny teal trucks through the window. Hyunjin knew nothing about skateboards even after all those months, but you seemed pleased by them.

“You’re only getting trucks for sure?” your brand new acquaintance asked. “This is, like, the biggest drop they’ve ever done.”

You shrugged. “I’m kind of on the fence about the decks I saw on the email. I don’t know. Maybe wheels too?”

Meanwhile, Jisung hissed, “Hyunjin, go before something happens. What if a fight breaks out?”

Hyunjin sincerely doubted that one would happen at the library. He lingered around, taking his time unfolding his wings and stretching them.

“Your boyfriend’s lucky,” your acquaintance sighed.

“Nah, I’m the lucky one.”

Daisies, that’s what he needs right now. Choosing the rooftop of a building was not a smart decision, but the access door is thankfully unlocked, and Hyunjin races down all of the emergency stairs. However, with no form of currency on him, Hyunjin heads to the quad, hoping that he can pull up some dandelions for you. You need to be supported, and bright yellow flowers are just the thing.

What he doesn’t expect though, is to find you doing pop shove its at your usual spot. It’s so early in the day; did you even go back to your apartment to sleep?

“Good morning,” he calls as he walks closer. He waves at you, and you can see him! You tentatively wave back and give him a halfhearted smile. “How are you today? You look beautiful.”

“Thanks, and I’m fine,” you politely reply as you take a step back away from him. “What about you?”

Hyunjin curses in his head and takes another step towards you. “I’m good. Really good, actually. I was wondering if you could teach me how to skateboard. I’m new here, and skateboarding seems like an efficient way to get around.”

You flinch at his words, and he desperately wants to take them back. How did Jeongin do it? Why do his statements come out so stiff? “You seem pretty good at it.”

“Are you not cold?” you blurt out. Hyunjin curses again as he realizes that he’s shirtless. His old one was stained, and Minho’s was as well as the result of his cleanup. This isn’t how it’s supposed to go. “You know, I have to get going, but it was nice meeting you.”

“Hyunjin. My name’s Hyunjin.”

“Nice meeting you, Hyunjin.”

You grab your board and immediately head off to the direction of your apartment. Hyunjin is tempted to follow, but he stays where he is. A bad first impression isn’t the end of the world. The only thing holding him back is his lack of a shirt.

He wanders through the quad, scanning the grass for some flowers. Most of them are the white, fluffy dandelions, but he needs the bright yellow version. However, he takes the white ones anyway in case he can’t find any. The wind scatters the seeds, and he—  

“Hyunjin, I told you not to come back.”

Jisung.

Hyunjin turns around, dropping his bouquet onto the ground. To his horror, not only is Jisung present but also the Archangel. His sword is strapped to his side like usual, not a blood splatter tainting it. Minho did an excellent job of cleaning up the crime scene.

“Jisung, Archangel,” Hyunjin nervously greets. The Archangel frightens him now. “How can I help you?”

“Jisung, why did you bring me here?” the Archangel asks. “I have other things to attend to.”

“He’s abandoned his human too many times, and I don’t think he’s fit to be a guardian angel anymore.”

The Archangel grasps the hilt of his sword and studies Hyunjin, up and down, back and forth. He circles him, and Hyunjin can almost feel his mortality-divinity shining through his body. Jisung hasn’t noticed yet, but there is no doubt the Archangel hasn’t.

“Normally,” the Archangel begins, “the punishment for not fulfilling your duties as a guardian angel is being expelled from Heaven. But you have already fallen.”

���What?” comes Jisung’s shocked voice.

“It was a mistake,” Hyunjin tries. Minho’s words ring in his ear: He only expels the ones who don’t want to be. “I thought I wanted humanity, but I’ve realized that being a guardian angel is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Please. Grant me my divinity back. I will never abandon my human again. I will swear an oath if I have to.”

The Archangel smiles with no teeth, and a chill runs down Hyunjin’s spine. “I’m in a forgiving mood today, so I will do just as you ask. Your divinity will be granted back, but you will no longer be a guardian angel. I’m stripping you of those powers and those duties. You will be replaced immediately. It was my mistake for tasking you with such a large responsibility when you weren’t ready yet.”

With just a snap of the Archangel’s fingers, Hyunjin’s senses sharpen, and the world comes hurtling at him. Nothing is dull anymore, but everything feels so dark and wrong. You will never be able to see him, hear him, or talk to him again. And he will never be able to either. Power surges inside of him, and new wings burst through his shoulder blades, fanning out once they reappear. A silver halo hangs over his head. There is no physical pain into becoming immortal again, yet he wishes there was something. Everything he and Minho did was erased with ease.

Hyunjin swallows the lump in his throat. “Thank you,” he chokes out.

“You’re very welcome. Come along now. Only guardian angels are allowed to be on Earth.”

Hyunjin follows the Archangel back to Heaven while Jisung goes after you. The Archangel loudly deliberates on who he should be replaced with, and Hyunjin knows that his request was not granted with kindness. The Archangel informs that he will be a messenger again. Hyunjin barely hears him as he takes one last look at Earth. Jeongin is there. Jisung is there. You are there.

Hyunjin avoids Minho’s eyes as he flies inside the realm behind the Archangel and hides among the rest of the regular angels until he is called to send a message. The higher-ups recognize him, make snide remarks about his demotion, and make pitiful faces at him. He barely registers them. There is a hollowness in him, and no matter how many memories he recalls, it isn’t enough to fill the void.

A few weeks later, Jisung approaches him, but even he stays a healthy distance away. “Hyunjin.” The disdain is clear.

“Jisung.”

“You knew about the reason all along, didn’t you? You were there when it happened.”

“When what happened?”

Realization dawns upon Jisung, and he shakes his head in disgust. “I should have known. You weren’t with him that night because you left him like you always did! You could have done something. Make him fall off his chair or something. Make the girl lose her balance. Instead, both of our humans suffered because you weren’t there.”

“What happened?”

“A girl from his group project randomly kissed him, and he thought he had been leading her on and cheating on his own girlfriend, so he broke up with her because he thought that would be the right thing to do instead of just telling her what actually happened. They’re back together now because he finally got the nerve to give her closure. It took nearly a month. They were miserable for a month. All because of you.”

It stings. “They’re okay now, right?”

“They’re fine, no thanks to you.” Just when Hyunjin thinks he’s going to leave, he takes a step forward, lips curled into sneer. “You know, angels and humans aren’t allowed to be with each other. It’s been forbidden for millenia.”

“I know,” he whispers. “But I loved her, and I had to try.”

“She would have never chosen you anyway.”

He never had a chance, did he?

~ ad.gray

Yes, you did! I remembered it and wondered if you were going to come back! Hope you enjoyed this! <3

[kiame-sama]

Could you do a Yandere Silva where the reader is getting hit on by a butler with a death wish and Silva freaks and it ends with rough sex where reader won’t be able to walk👀🍵

Warnings; lemon, rough behavior, yandere relationship, yandere behavior, mentioned non-con, reader gets threatened, reader has female parts, oral (female receiving), oral (male receiving), 69, peak into the yandere mind of an assassin,

~~~~~~~~

You sat quietly in your room, relaxing back on the large couch and idly listening to whatever was currently on the TV. It had been a fairly quiet day, but most days were quiet (other than when Silva decides he needs attention). You were rather bored, slightly considered taking a nap or even calling for Silva just for some kind of entertainment.

Just as you were in the middle of deciding what to do, the door slowly began to open. This immediately put you on guard since the only ones who would enter your room tended to fling it open despite how unbelievably heavy the door actually was. You were quick to retrieve your panic button, a distress alert Silva had given you just in precaution for someone getting to your room. It only happened once that some fool decided to kidnap you without anyone knowing until you were already gone, but he made certain it would never happen again.

You fiddled with the small device nervously, watching the door with great anticipation for whoever it was on the other side. You were surprised to see a man you had never met before. He wore a suit identical to that of the butlers that worked in the manor, but all of the butlers should know better than to even come within twenty feet of your room.

"So you're the famous Zoldyck treasure. I can certainly see why."

He looked you up and down, making you feel far more exposed than you actually were. The man was blond and had bright blue eyes that seemed to glimmer in the light of your cell. He was fairly tall, though not as tall as Silva, and he had sun-kissed tan skin. The way he looked at you like a piece of meat made your skin start to crawl, so you subtly pressed the button and hoped that this man wouldn't have the time to do anything to you.

"You're quite the big mystery. Most here don't know what's in this room, and It's even one of the most enforced rules; don't go near this room. I can see why you're considered a treasure, a lovely thing like you would attract a lot of attention. But, I don't see why you're kept away from everyone like this. Can you tell me?"

"..."

"It's okay, I don't bite, unless you want me to. You must be such a fragile little thing, being locked up like this for your safety."

"I'm not locked up for my own benefit."

"Oh?"

"I'm here because my husband doesn't like sharing."

This, instead of making the man back off like you thought it would, the man only seemed to become more interested in you due to your words. He began a slow approach towards you, making you retreat until your back was pressed against the wall and he was mere inches away from you. You tried to turn your head away from him, keeping as much distance as possible between the two of you, knowing just how Silva will react.

"He doesn't have to know... Isn't it exciting, though? Sneaking around like this."

"No."

"Oh come on, live a little, sweetheart."

"Leave me alone."

"Nah, I don't think I will. In fact, no one even knows I'm here, so no one will come check on you. I could do so many things to your tight little body with the time I have... And no one would even hear you cry for help."

"Stop- Stop it."

"So scared. Good. I like 'em scared. You're gonna be so much f-"

He was suddenly cut off by the door slamming open with enough force to make the walls shake, him turning on his heel to confront whoever just arrived. You were quick to slide past the stunned man as he turned away from you, hurriedly making it to Silva's side and hiding behind him. The man had a look of pure terror on his face, clearly not expecting the terrifying assassin to appear.

You gripped tightly to the back of Silva's shirt, pressing your forehead against his broad back as you hid from the intruder that had threatened you so gleefully. The small glimpse you got of Silva's expression was enough to tell you everything you needed to know. He wasn't just mad, he was furious. Luckily, none of that fury was directed towards you.

Not only were his burning blue eyes filled with pure hate, they seemed to glow in the light of the room with a predatorial glint. He never really seemed to smile anyway, but his expression wasn't his usual scowl, it was akin to the stone-cold expression of a wild animal ready to kill. There was a palpable hate in the air that made it quite clear Silva had no intention to let the man live.

"Did he do anything to you?"

"He threatened me."

A low hum that sounded more like a growl rumbled from his chest, clearly displeased. The man had yet to move from his original spot, frozen in terror at the intimidating visage of your furious husband. Had the situation been different, and had the man not threatened you, you would have felt pity for him, but you felt no pity now.

"Explain."

"Wha-What?"

"Explain just what you are doing in my wife's room."

The man had already been terror stricken, but now all of the color disappeared from his face as he realized just how stupid his decision had been. He had assumed you were just another family member, maybe a sister or daughter. He only began to now realize just how fucked he was. Even though he was a relatively new butler, he knew of Silva's infamous temper and he also knew to never talk about Silva's wife, lest he wish for the most painful death possible.

He had seen Kikyo around, and since Kalluto was always trailing behind, he had assumed that she was Silva's wife and did his damndest to stay away from her and stay out of her path. He had heard stories about what would happen to anyone who took any level of interest in Silva's wife, but he had just figured it was meant as a basic warning about the woman herself. Yet here he was, staring at the most terrifying man he had ever encountered after just having threatened and attempted to force himself onto the very woman he was warned to never speak of.

"Well?"

"I- I didn't- I hadn't- but-"

"You've already exceeded my patience, filth."

"I'm- I'm sorry! I didn't know who she was! I wouldn't have said those things to her if-"

"Said what 'things'?"

"..."

You pulled away to look up at your towering husband, seeing him glance over his shoulder at you, his eyes far more gentle and loving. The glance was a clear prompt to speak, and you'd rather not push Silva's buttons at that moment, given his unyielding rage about to overflow.

"He threatened to rape me and said no one would hear me scream."

There was a sudden change in the entire room the moment you finished your sentence. It was a crushingly heavy pressure that seeped into every corner like a rolling miasma, consuming everything. The pressure quickly lifted from you, allowing you to breathe though it was clear the intruder did not receive the same kindness as he choked and dropped to his knees.

If you thought Silva was mad before, he was as tame as a kitten in comparison to the rage that now consumed him. You were well aware of Silva's knowledge in ways to kill a man, but it seemed more like he was interested in a slow drawn out slaughter. He never once looked away from the terrified man, even as he spoke in a gentle tone to you.

"(Y/n), go wait in our room. Don't come out until I tell you to."

"Alright..."

Quickly scrambling to the room you two shared, you caught a glimpse at Silva's expression and felt your heart drop into your stomach. Even though you knew he was not angry with you at all, that look alone sent fear running down your spine and into your very being. You closed the door and sat on your bed, hearing a sudden shrill voice begin screaming.

It wasn't hard for you to guess the kind of mood Silva would be in once he was done dealing with the man. There was no doubt in your mind he was going to be rough as well, knowing how he got when jealous. You also knew he would be jealous as all hell due to the man being in your room. It may not have been your fault and the man may be dead, but with Silva, jealousy didn't fade away.

There were few things you could do at that point to soften Silva's mood, and honestly him being rough wasn't that bad (so long as he doesn't break your bones). Given how terrifying just a glance at him was, you figured you'd do something that should brighten his mood and help soothe his jealousy a bit. You dug through your clothes picking out your white and blue lingerie- Silva's favorite for obvious reasons- and waited on the bed.

The screams had yet to stop, though they certainly took on a more gurgling tone the longer it went. You shivered slightly, wondering just what Silva was doing to the man, since he was an expert at torturing people. Though he has hurt you in the past- most being accidental- you know just how strong he is and just how deeply his few emotions impact him. Looking from the outside, he feels nothing, but with you he is extremely expressive in everything he does.

You lay back on the bed, thinking about how much you truly impacted him and how much your wellness meant to him. Hell, the man would move heaven itself if you wanted him to. He was the dominant partner, but he was also a slave to your every emotion.

While you let yourself get lost in thought, you slowly slipped off to sleep with Silva's pillow cuddled in your arms.

Movement on the bed drew you out of your peaceful slumber, letting out an upset whine at being woken. You were slightly disoriented from your sudden awakening and blearily blinked the sleep out of your eyes. As your brain began to fully wake as well, you realized that Silva was right above you, his large hands on either side of your head.

There was a faint feeling of surprise as you noticed not a speck of blood on the giant man. You figured he would have been soaked in the blood of that idiot butler, but not a single fleck of red marred his flawless skin.

"Trying to cheer me up?"

There was the slightest of smiles pulling at his lips as his eyes slowly dragged over your barely covered figure, letting out a low hum of pleasure and licking his lips slowly. He seemed almost too calm at that moment, but you knew the beast that dwells within would easily come forth once he began.

"It certainly does help..."

"I thought it would be nice to surprise you... but I guess I fell asleep before you came back."

"You are a wonderful creature, (y/n), did you know that?"

"Well, there has to be some reason you keep me around."

"Sassy thing."

His tone was teasing, but you knew he wouldn't be teasing you for very long, not with the way his sharp blue eyes roamed your body. He sat up, now letting his hands roam your soft body and squeezing every few seconds. No matter what mark may be on you- be it a scar, a birthmark, a mole, didn't matter- he adored you and held such reverence for you. Even when you gain or lose weight, you are a Goddess in his eyes, and he made sure to treat his Goddess well.

"Mmm, you do know how to rile me up."

"Lots of practice."

You reached up to run your fingers through his hair, watching his eyes narrow in bliss from your gentle touch. When you suddenly tightened your grip and tugged on his long hair, that calm expression changed in an instant. He was now less of a man than he was a beast, moving you suddenly so your legs rest on his shoulders, your back against the pillows.

He didn't say a single word as he gripped the lacy panties you wore between his teeth, pulling back in one smooth motion and ripping the delicate fabric with ease. You were about to whine at the destruction of his favorite set but you didn't even manage to get a single word out before he buried his head between your thighs, tongue easily sliding through your soft folds. He didn't bother with being slow in working you up, he just slid his tongue as deeply into you as he could to slurp up your juices.

The noises coming from him were obscene as he sucked on your soft pussy, low moans vibrating against you as he gripped your legs tighter, pulling you closer to his mouth. You ran your fingers through his hair, gripping tightly and tilting your head back with breathy moans. He held your hips still, making it so you were unable to do anything other than writhe in the pleasure he gave you.

It was clear that him holding you still was more of a dominance thing to reassure himself and soothe his burning jealousy more than it was to show his dominance over you. He was using your presence and your sweet moans as his own validation of being your one and only. Reminding himself- and in some ways, you- that you were still his and he had no intention of sharing you in any way.

You truly have only had honest social interaction with three people on a consistent basis and your five children on the odd occasion for more than twenty years. If that didn't give you a good visualization of how deep his jealousy runs, then it would be the contempt he has for his own children. As far as he was concerned, you only truly needed him in your life and no one else would have the chance or ability to get between the two of you.

He was much like a religious zealot with how fiercely he coveted you and everything about you. His tongue was as deep in you as possible while his large thumb rubbed your clit, blue eyes closed in bliss as if he truly received deep pleasure from taking care of you and pleasuring you like a wild animal did its mate. You were his everything, and he wanted your everything desperately enough he had you kidnapped only days after meeting you, already in deep obsession and fanatical adoration for you.

Continuing with endless stamina, he brought you up to mindless pleasure and kept you there, every whining cry you made only served to fuel his desire and increase blood-flow to his achingly hard cock. In typical Silva fashion, he completely ignored his own needs to not only ensure your pleasure, but to test himself to see how long he could listen to you moan before snapping and giving in to the starving beast within him. He was quite the dominant masochist when it came down to it, always adoring every scratch and mark you make on his fair skin but also making sure he was the one on top and in control.

With a loud sucking sound, he pulled away from your soaked pussy, licking his lips with hazy bliss filled eyes never leaving your shaking form. He was completely lost in his desire to possess all of you, and he gently trailed his warm hands up your soft front until he lightly gripped your chin, holding your mouth open. You were faintly worried about what he planned on doing while in such a blissed out state, yelping when he moved you down the bed with both hands before moving so his muscular legs were on either side of your head.

He slid his large cock slowly into your mouth, your jaw stretching a bit further to accommodate the rock-hard length. A deep moan rose up from his chest as he thrusted his hips a few times before returning to digging his tongue into your slick heat. He did the majority of the work to pleasure you both, ensuring to keep himself from making you deep throat him just yet. You reached up to rest your hands on his hips for your own sake should he unintentionally begin to choke you, but to Silva the contact of your gentle hands on his pale skin was overwhelmingly intense.

He was extremely touch starved when it came to you due to his distant and cold upbringing despite how much physical contact he actually had with you on a regular basis. Just another reason for him to be obsessed with the touch of your skin and the feel of your body against his. Each small brush of your hand anywhere on his body sent intense sensations running through his very being. To feel not a hint of affection during the critical developmental beginning years of his life left him distant and made him believe all outside touch would bring only pain.

Of course, when he met you, his entire world changed drastically. Your touch was gentle and brought no pain with it, only the sweet sensation of honest care and empathy. He had to have you, and only you. Only your touch brought him such calming pleasure and consuming affection. Even as he bucked his hips into your warm mouth, he was past cloud 9 in absolute bliss, sinking his tongue into your extremely wet pussy and almost desperately trying to bring you the same level of pleasure that he felt even when simply in your presence.

That's what he always tried to do.

He felt so much from and for you that he couldn't help but attempt to reciprocate that pleasure any chance he got. His addiction to your touch was likely why you two were still so sexually active even after decades together, that and Silva used that intimate connection to soothe his own mind consuming anxiety. It was why he became so irritable whenever he is away from your side for more than 24 hours. His mind drowns him in anxiety with every outcome of you being attacked while he is away.

It would destroy him to know something hurt you or you were unwell in some way while he was gone. He would feel like he failed you as your husband and that he failed you as your protector. He refused to fail. The cost would be too great.

You, on the other hand, happened to be lost in the feelings of pleasure running through your veins, to the point you didn't honestly notice much other than the warm cock in your mouth and the hot tongue on your pussy. Every moan you made only made that large length twitch and throb, feeling the slide of your tongue against his flesh as you let your fingers slide over his hips. It was clear he enjoyed it as he let out deep moans and growls of pleasure, holding himself back as long as possible.

Just when you felt the pulse of his heartbeat flutter, he pulled away from you, leaving you confused and slightly dazed. He was watching you try to collect your thoughts, proud he made you so delirious with pleasure that you needed time to return to awareness. His movements were slow and methodical as he positioned himself between your legs, raising your hips up so he could slide through your soft folds.

"Look at me, (y/n)."

His deep voice drew your scattered attention, staring up into his intense blue eyes in an almost questioning way. There was a moment of silence as he stared at you in adoration, not looking away from you as he slowly slid his firm length into you, watching the way you gasped and writhed on the bed. He gave you only a moment to adjust to his size once more before he began to thrust into your welcoming body, drowning in the tight embrace of your warm insides.

You moved up and down on the bed with each rough thrust, clawing at the sheets beneath you. Silva pound into you with such intensity you could barely draw in a breath before it was being forced back out with another rough thrust. He leaned over your writhing and mewling form to start pressing open mouthed kissed against your neck, biting down a few times to hear you yelp and whine. You wrapped your arms around him and let your nails bite down on his fair skin, shivering from his rumbling moan directly against you ear.

As you felt your orgasm creeping up with alarming speed, you reached up to his hair and gripped on the long locks, tugging hard enough to remove his lips from your neck. You had to stop tugging on his hair and just cling to him as his thrusts became rougher, pressing one of his hands against your soft stomach and feeling the way he moved inside of you. The increased sensation of his large cock rubbing against your tight walls practically made you scream in delight, your pleasure overwhelming and consuming you as your orgasm flooded your body.

"So tight..! You are mine. You will always be mine. I'll never let you go. I'll never let you forget."

You barely registered his crooning words due to your overstimulated nerves sizzling in your brain. He adored the hazy look in your eyes as you were consumed by the pleasure he provided you. That sweet expression on your lovely face was enough to push him over the edge, his hot cum painting your soft insides with every intense pulse.

When he finally pulled out of you, you were still trying to catch your breath and clung to his body with all of the remaining energy you had. The low humming chuckle that came from him was a soft and soothing rumble that was quite like the purr of some feral beast. You curled close to his warm body, snuggling down into his grasp as he pulled the blanket over the both of you, kissing your forehead gently.

"Mine."

[ificanthaveu]

Broadway Baby || Shawn Mendes

Description: You have known Shawn Mendes for nine years. And he has been a pain in your ass the entire time. NYC isn’t big enough for the two of you, and your hometown certainly isn’t either. (aka broadway!Shawn)

A/N: I thought of this au out of nowhere and I was like wait a minute....that could be really good. SO here we are! And I think it is pretty good! And yes the Jordan I mention a few times is Jordan Fischer. I am a whore for that man. ALSO just a disclaimer: I know absolutely nothing about the technicality or broadway or new york or anything so plz just pretend thank you

Word Count: 7.6k

Maybe going to your high school’s five-year reunion at some dive bar two hours away from where you currently lived and down the street from your old high school could have been the worst place to be on a Saturday night in May. 

You whisked the wine in your glass around as you watched it arch up the glass, threatening to spill out with each turn. The light above you flickered every few moments, and you couldn’t tell if the reason for your forming headache was the wine or the light or the fact that you were at your reunion. Or maybe all three. 

You leaned against a table with two people from your homeroom, both of them going on and on about their current fifth year of college they were finishing up. One was in a sorority and the other was the president of his frat. You could’ve seen that coming from your freshman year of high school. 

You occasionally chimed in every few moments just to look interested because you really didn’t have anyone else to talk to. You’d gotten here just a little too early since you had to take the drive and overestimated how long it actually took. Everyone who was eager for the reunion was here. Which meant everyone you did not want to see. 

Your friends planned on coming later, and in reality, you should have just stopped at their house before coming but last minute decided against it. You didn’t really see your high school friends as often as you once thought you would. But life got in the way. While everyone else tended to stay in the small town, you were one of the few who made it out to New York City just two hours away. You had a great job, you bought a house and had a dog. It couldn’t get much better for you. 

So, why you thought you would want to relive your high school days for a night? You still don’t know what you were thinking. 

“[Y/N]?” Eli said from next to you as you blinked a few times before looking at him. 

“How’s the big city?” He said with his smile that actually was too white. 

“Good! Really good!” You said with a smile before you took a sip, hoping he wouldn’t ask any more questions. 

“Do you ever run into Shawn?” Kelly asked from the other side of you. 

The name itself sent shivers down your spine. Not good ones. 

“Nope,” you said with a pop in your “p” as you downed your glass. 

“You guys were so close in high school,” Eli said. 

You held back a laugh as you glanced back over at him, “No, we weren’t.”

“Well you were the leads in all the musicals together,” Eli replied. 

“That means we were forced to act like we liked each other onstage. We were good actors. That’s why we were the leads,” you tried to say as casually as possible without making it obvious that your blood was boiling. 

“Could have fooled me,” Kelly taunted as she sipped at her drink.

You stifled an eye roll as you thought about what the best time would be to sneak away and get more wine. 

“Speak of the devil,” Eli said as you followed his eyes across the room. 

Your eyes briefly met with Shawn’s as he sauntered into the bar with more confidence than he should be allowed to have. 

You heard Kelly sigh from next to you as she rested her head on her hand. 

You could throw up. 

By the time you looked up again, he was walking right towards you. 

So, now was the right time to get another glass. 

You turned around and waved the bartender down for some wine and then thought maybe two glasses was a better idea but didn’t want to look as trashy as you felt right now being in the same room as Shawn again. 

By the time you turned around with your wine, Shawn was deep in conversation with Eli as Kelly lovingly listened in. 

You took a quick scan of the room, praying there could be someone else you could talk to. Most of the people you really didn’t care for or barely remembered. You spotted a few football players you had known since Kindergarten and hadn’t seen in a while. 

You were about to cross the room to them when you heard Eli say, “[Y/N]’s right here.”

Shawn looked up and smirked as his eyes met yours. There goes your escape. 

You smiled sweetly as you made your way back in between Eli and Kelly and a comfortable distance from Shawn. 

“Hi, Shawn.”

“[Y/N], good to see you,” he said, the damn smirk not leaving his face. 

“You too,” you mumbled from the rim of your glass. 

“Heard you’re over at Samson Management now? You know Jordan?”

You nodded your head and leaned on the table again, “Yeah, I work with Jordan pretty often. He’s fantastic.”

Shawn looked over to Kelly, turning on his charm as he said, “Jordan’s the lead right now in the musical I’m in.”

It took every ounce of you to not roll your eyes and say something snarky. 

“You mean the musical you’re an understudy for?”

It didn’t work.

Shawn cocked an eyebrow at you and his smile faltered as you foiled his face he was putting up for everyone. 

“Yes, [Y/N], that would be the one,” he said slowly. 

“Mhm,” you mumbled.

“Anyway, I’m in Dear Evan Hansen, and Jordan plays Evan right now. We’re pretty good friends, and he’s managed by the company [Y/N] interns for,” he said simply. 

“I’m not an intern,” you said calmly. 

“You were.”

“When I was in college, now I’m a junior manager,” you said, your grip on your glass getting dangerously harder. 

“Hm, whoops,” he said before taking a drink of his beer. 

You could cut the tension with a knife as Eli and Kelly shared looks. 

“Who are you managed by again, Shawn?” You asked. 

If looks could kill, you’d be dead. 

“I’m in between managers.”

“Isn’t that what people say when they were fired from a job? That they’re in-between jobs?” You said with a quiet laugh. 

You could practically see the steam threatening to spill from Shawn’s ears. 

“Things weren’t working out,” he said carefully. 

“I’m going to go say hi to Andy,” Kelly said quietly as she backed away. 

“Me too,” Eli said as he did the same. 

You were in a staredown with Shawn as they both almost sprinted away. 

“Want anything from the bar, [Y/N]? Or still nursing your third glass?” He taunted as he walked past you to the bar behind you. 

“Not my third.”

“Sorry, second,” he said with a smile as he turned around. 

You shook your head and bit your lip harshly. 

“Just upset I’m spoiling your whole facade?” You said, leaning against the bar next to him. “A simple google search could have spoiled it anyway.”

“Sorry we’re not all perfect,” he said, not looking at you. 

“Yeah, real bummer,” you said before pushing yourself off the bar and making your way across the room to the people you meant to see earlier. 

Andy scooped you up into a big hug as you finally approached him, rocking you back and forth. 

“Heard you were being snarky across the room?” He whispered in your ear before pulling away and giving you the same look he’d been giving to you since Kindergarten. 

“Some things never change,” you said as you sat down next to him. 

“No one really likes him anyway, just think they do because they think he might be famous one day,” he said. 

“He won’t be,” you said. “We run in relatively the same circle with my office managing a lot of the people he performs with. He won’t go anywhere with that attitude.”

“Nothing’s changed,” he mumbled. 

“Not at all.”

You watched Shawn sweet-talk one of the old cheerleaders from across the room, probably raving about his latest performance where he was a background character for one whole scene but making it sound so much better. 

“I’m still shocked nothing ever happened between the two of you,” Andy suggested. 

You shot your head to the side to look at him. 

“I can’t be with him for more than a minute without a fight starting,” you reminded him. 

“That tension, I’m telling you,” he said quietly. 

“You are unbelievable,” you said through a laugh. 

Before he could respond, Shawn was walking to the group you were currently in. 

“Don’t be mean,” Andy warned. 

“You know I can’t promise that,” you whispered back. 

“Our own broadway baby!” One of the girls yelled as Shawn hugged one of the guys. 

You scoffed as Andy shot you a warning look before waving at Shawn. 

Shawn returned the wave and walked closer. 

(ITALICS) Here we go again. 

“Good to see you, man,” Shawn said as he shook his hand. 

“You, too,” Andy said as sweet as ever. 

“You still live around here?” Shawn asked. 

“No, I actually live in Chicago now,” Andy said. 

“That’s great,” Shawn said, being nicer than usual. 

“Yeah, how’s the big city?” Andy returned the question. 

“Really great,” Shawn said before taking a drink. “I keep pretty busy.”

“So I hear,” Andy said with a nod. 

You took another drink as you watched the interaction between the two of them. Andy knew how much you didn’t like Shawn, but the two still always got along pretty well. While you were always the first person he greeted after the musical, Shawn was the second. You tried not to let it make your blood boil. But that’s just how Andy was. He loved everyone and everyone loved him. 

“Hey, [Y/N], heard a bunch of people from Samson’s are coming to the show next week?” Shawn questioned.

“Yes, we are,” you said casually. 

“We? As in you’re going?” Shawn pried. 

“Well, I do work with Jordan fairly often, so yes, I will be going,” you said softly. 

“Great,” he said through a toothy smile. 

“Fantastic,” you said as you mirrored his look. 

Before the conversation could turn bad, Shawn got distracted and walked away. 

Andy let out a breath before taking a drink, “I have a feeling you don’t actually feel fantastic about it.”

“As long as I don’t see him, we’ll be just fine,” you said, leaning your elbow on the table.

“I feel like that’s jinxing yourself,” Andy said slowly. 

“Well, I’ve said it over fifty times since we decided we were going, so this time would be no different. If it was jinxed, it was jinxed over a month ago,” you said, finishing your glass. 

“I wish you luck,” he said. 

“Thanks,” you said as you squeezed his arm before standing up to go to your friends who just walked in. 

You could see Sophie eyeing Shawn from a mile away. 

“Soph?” You questioned as she snapped out of it and looked at you. “What are you looking at?”

“I’m not saying that out loud,” she replied. 

“Good idea,” you said back. 

“You have to admit, he looks good,” she said simply. 

“You know I would never admit that even if I did believe it.”

The few of you made your way around a table with a few other people you did the musicals with and talked about the great times you had as you had another glass of wine and started to feel it hit, along with everyone else. 

You were laughing at someone’s story about a performance gone wrong before you realized Shawn was there. You couldn’t even tell when he got there but it wasn’t bothering you nearly as much as you thought it would. 

When he wasn’t trying to impress everyone around him, he wasn’t bad at all to be around, but when his ego took over and all he wanted to do was make people think he was something he wasn’t, you wanted to kill him. 

“Remember when [Y/N] bit Shawn’s lip?” Sophie reminded everyone. 

Shawn threw his head back in laughter as you shook your head and looked down. 

“I still have a scar!” Shawn yelled from across the table as he pointed at you. 

“I’m sorry!” You yelled back through a laugh. “If you would’ve done the moves we practiced, it wouldn’t have happened!”

“You bit through his lip!” someone said. 

“Not on purpose!” You said through a laugh. 

Shawn shook his head as the group calmed down, “I find that hard to believe.”

“Well, believe it. The last thing I wanted to do was have to drive you to the emergency room on a Friday night,” you said. 

“And you stayed with me the whole time,” he said as he rested his hand on his chest. “I’m touched.”

“Don’t get used to it,” you reminded him. 

“I would never,” he said with a smirk. 

“Someone do karaoke!” Someone else yelled as they pointed at two people getting off the stage. 

Your eyes met Shawn’s from across the table as you both nodded and walked towards the stage, not even having to say the song which you found early on was both your default karaoke song. It was always a duet between the two of you at your cast parties. 

Bruises by Train started playing as people turned and cheered to see the duo up on stage. 

Shawn started singing the first verse as you bopped your head to the familiar tune. 

You cut in with your part as you looked at him, and he looked back at you. 

You felt like you were back on stage with him, playing the part and acting like you could kiss him when this was all said and done. He joined in with you for the chorus as the two of you stood fairly close, looking at each other as you belted the chorus. 

You stood side by side for the next part, your shoulders brushing as you pointed at people as you sang “have you seen him?”

You casually changed “Johnny B” to “Andy T” as Andy hollered from the back of the bar and Shawn laughed through his half of the line. 

You went back into the chorus as you looked at him again, spreading your arms and feeling like you were on the big stage all over again. You didn’t realize how much you missed it. 

You sang the lines of the bridge softly as Shawn did the same, his eyes not leaving yours. You looked at Shawn in ways you hadn’t since the final night senior year, reminding everyone watching why the two of you were always the stars.

Before you could register it, the song was done and you were standing inches from Shawn as everyone cheered. 

“Guess you still got it,” Shawn said with a small smile. 

“Guess you do, too,” you said back, not even wanting to be snarky anymore. 

You both walked back to your table, this time Shawn standing next to you as you laughed with your friends. 

You glanced at the time just to see it was 1:00 am as people were leaving. 

“Shit,” you mumbled as you went to call an Uber since you clearly couldn’t drive. 

You looked around just to see that Sophie and your other friends had left. Andy was gone, too, and you were running out of options. 

You planned on not really drinking and just driving back to the city tonight, but that was no longer an option. 

“You good?” You heard from behind you. 

You turned to see Shawn with his hands tucked in his pockets. 

“I was going to drive back tonight,” you mumbled. 

“That’s not happening anymore.”

“Yeah, I know,” you scoffed. “I’ll just call my parents.”

“Come on, I got a hotel. You can stay with me,” Shawn said as he started walking away. 

“Aren’t you drunk?” You said as you watched him. 

He turned around and shook his head, “I had one beer nearly six hours ago.”

“Oh, ok,” you said as you followed him to his car.

You drove in silence to a hotel a few blocks away, feeling your buzz quickly wear off. 

You followed him in and up to his room. He let you in in front of him as you made your way to the bed in the corner and plopped down on it. 

“You’re a lifesaver,” you said to the ceiling. 

“I know,” he sighed as he sat on the edge of your bed. “We can pick up your car in the morning.”

“Thanks,” you said as you turned on your side to look at him.

“I’m sorry about before,” you said softly. “I got carried away with the digs.”

He nodded his head and leaned back so his head was next to yours, “I deserved it.”

You turned to look at him better, noticing his jawline as he spoke. 

“I mean, it’s kind of embarrassing having to come to your reunion as an understudy,” he said softly. 

“It’s still Broadway,” you reminded him. “You’re twenty-two. You have plenty of time to ace the lead.”

“Thanks,” he said as he also turned to look at you. 

Your faces were dangerously close as you watched his eyes flick towards your lips and you inched closer. 

Before you could rethink it, Shawn was on top of you and his tongue was in your mouth. 

Every insult you had hurled before were forgotten as he deepened the kiss and moved you up the bed, his hand caressing your back underneath your shirt and getting dangerously close to your bra. 

This was not something you ever did in the musicals.

You woke up the next morning, slightly startled as you looked around at your surroundings. 

And then seeing the sleeping figure next to you.

“Fuck,” you mumbled as you remembered doing things you never imagined doing the night before. 

You noticed you were wearing his shirt and tried not to groan as you slowly got out of the bed to find your clothes. You threw them back on and called an Uber as you slipped on your heels and tiptoed to the door, grabbing your purse and sneaking out. 

You sat in the back of the Uber and cursed everything you could as you made your way to the bar again. 

You hopped out of the car and into your own as you rested your head on your steering wheel and banged it against it a few times for good measure. 

Your headache began to sink in as you prayed you wouldn’t have to throw up on your two-hour drive back home. 

You finally started your car and put the nearest McDonalds into your maps before pulling out. 

You could’ve screamed when Bruises played through your speakers. 

��

Your pounding headache didn’t go away the next few days, and it certainly wasn’t just from your hangover. 

Monday was a whole new obstacle as half your coworkers asked about your reunion and the other half wanted to talk about the show on Friday. 

Your head was pounding, and your coffee wasn’t cutting it anymore. You rested your head in your hands for a moment to breathe before you went to grab lunch.

Your phone rang before you even had that moment. 

“Yes?” You said simply.

“You have a visitor. He’ll be waiting in the commons,” the receptionist said before hanging up. 

Your heart leaped into your throat before you tried to swallow it down. You took a shaky breath before grabbing your bag and walking downstairs, a little too terrified to see who was waiting for you downstairs. 

Seeing Andy waiting there was the best thing to happen to you in the past week. 

You breathed a sigh of relief as you walked up to him and gave him a quick hug. 

“What are you doing here?” You asked with a smile. 

“My flight leaves out of JFK in a few hours, so I thought we could grab lunch first,” he said as you began to walk out of the building. 

“Perfect. The place next door is great,” you said as you felt the first joy you’d felt since Saturday night. 

“I also have to ask you something,” he said slowly. 

“Mhm,” you mumbled as you pushed the door open to the cafe, and he followed behind you.

“Where did you go Saturday night? After the reunion?”

Your heart went right back into your throat as you didn’t look at him and instead focused on the menu on the wall. 

“Back here. I got back super late,” you said as you begged your voice not to falter. 

“Really? Because I saw your car there Sunday morning,” he said. 

You knew you couldn’t prolong it, so you finally looked at him as he looked at you with a blank stare and raised eyebrows. 

“I went to Sophie’s,” you tried. 

“Sophie left before I did,” he said quietly. “And she left with Eli.”

You didn’t respond and instead stepped up to order your usual. You could hear Andy sigh as you recited your order. 

You stepped to the side and let him order before grabbing a table in a secluded corner.

He sat his number down on the table before sitting across from you and leaning forward on the table, giving you another look. 

“We’ll do this again. Where did you go Saturday night?” He asked. 

You sighed as your shoulders slumped. 

“I stayed with Shawn,” you whispered. “He offered, and I didn’t have many other options.”

“I knew it,” he said in his typical, “I told you so” voice he’d been using on you for years. 

“Don’t even say anything. I’m not proud of it,” you mumbled as they set your food in front of you. 

“[Y/N], come on. You know I’d never say anything mean about it,” he reminded you. 

“Yeah, yeah I know,” you said as you started to pick at your food. “No one knows.”

“So I’m guessing that means you did more than just sleep wherever he was staying?” He pried. 

“If I don’t say it out loud, it never happened,” you said before taking a sip. 

“Oh my God,” he mumbled. 

“You said you wouldn’t say anything,” you groaned. 

“I won’t. I won’t,” he said before he sighed. “I just want to say that I told you so, and I saw this coming from a mile away.”

“Ok, I get it,” you said through a laugh. 

“I mean I literally said it probably hours before you did it,” he reminded you again. 

“Yes, ok, anyway, when does your flight leave?” You said, trying to derail the conversation. 

“4:00 pm, but anyway, who came on to who?” He continued. 

“I’m not answering any questions,” you said, taking bites of your food as he thought of more questions to ask. 

“Fine,” he sighed, finally eating. 

“But he definitely came on to me.”

“I knew it.”

— 

You kept busy the next week on your latest project, and you managed to forget about the past weekend...until Friday came up faster than expected. 

You hated to admit it, but you bought a new outfit for the show, one that you know would make Shawn drool in the off chance you did see him.

During the day you were in and out of meetings, barely having time to even sit down in your office. When you finally had a chance, one of the interns leaned in. 

“Ross was looking for you before, but he just told me to tell you that Jordan won’t be on tonight,” she said. 

“What?” you said a little louder than planned. 

“Yeah, I think he said he has strep throat,” she explained before walking away. 

You took a deep breath and ran your hands through your hair. 

This could’ve been your worst nightmare.

You took your time getting ready after work as the chances you would see Shawn increased with each passing moment in the past week. 

You met your coworkers outside the venue an hour before the show and found Ross to grab your ticket. 

“Someone told you right?” Ross said as he handed it to you. 

“Yeah, Jordan’s out,” you said through a sigh. 

“And that Shawn Mendes will be on,” he said as he looked at the altered program. “Know anything about him?”

“Well,” you paused and wondered if you should tell the truth or lie through your teeth. “I actually went to high school with him.”

Ross’s eyebrows shot up as he looked at you. “Tell me everything. I hear he’s looking for new management.”

You bit your tongue as your group walked into the theater and tried to think this through. 

“He’s insanely talented. We starred in most of the musicals together, and he manages to have chemistry with anyone he’s onstage with, which I hope you’ll see tonight. He’s got a good heart, but I think it’s hard for him to show it sometimes. This is all he’s ever wanted to do, and he shows it in everything he does,” you explained as you found your seats. 

“He sounds like a good guy,” Ross offered. 

“Yeah,” you paused. “He is.”

“What musicals did the two of you do together?” He continued. 

“Um, wow, we did The Last Five Years, High School Musical, Footloose and Hairspray,” you remembered. 

“So why did he go and do this while you went into management?” 

“He had the confidence I could never get,” you said as your voice shook just the slightest.

“You’re confident.”

“I wasn’t in high school,” you explained. “Shawn had enough for the two of us. Sure, I would’ve loved to do this,” you gestured to the stage. “But Shawn knew he was going to do this. There was a big difference.”

“Yeah, I get that,” he said with a nod. “And you settled for management.”

“I wouldn’t say settled. This is my dream job,” you said through a small laugh. “I wanted college and stability. I needed it. Shawn was always really good at being spontaneous which was definitely something I could’ve learned from.”

“You speak pretty highly of him,” Ross pointed out. 

You paused for a moment and ran through the conversation you just had in your head. You didn’t realize how many nice things you had to say about him. 

“Yeah,” you said before pausing. “He’s a really good guy. We didn’t always get off on the right foot, but when it came down to it, we made a good duo.”

“Well, if this show goes well, I just might have to have a conversation with him afterward. Care to join me? Introduce me to him?” Ross questioned as he looked at you. 

You swallowed hard before nodding your head, “Of course.”

The lights dimmed before Ross could say anything more than “Great.”

You took a deep breath and released it slowly as Shawn walked on to the stage. You were nervous for him, you being the only one who knew the weight of this performance, what Samson Management could do for him. 

You’d never even seen him perform except from the wings of a stage while you did a quick change or quickly rehearsed lines with someone in the stage crew. Before tonight, all you ever got were glimpses of the person he became when he walked on stage. 

And he was amazing at it. 

He had the whole crowd on the edge of their seats as he sang “Waving Through a Window.” You did everything in your power to make sure no one saw you wipe the tear escape your eye. 

You never would’ve been able to tell that this was Shawn’s first time performing this part. He had the whole audience laughing when they needed to be laughing and crying when they needed to be crying. You felt your heart follow his journey as you saw Shawn genuinely thrive. 

It was intermission before you knew it, and you took a moment in the bathroom to fix your makeup that may have ran down your cheek a little. 

By the time you got back to your seat, Ross was jotting down quick notes. 

“So, what do you think?” You asked. 

“He really is something else,” he said with a big smile. “We definitely have to talk after.”

You couldn’t hide your smile as the lights dimmed again and the musical continued. 

By the time the show was done, your mascara needed fixing again and your chest hurt. You ducked into the bathroom again before meeting Ross to introduce him to Shawn. 

You showed your credentials to the stage manager as you walked ahead of Ross to find the door with Shawn’s name on it. You took a deep breath before knocking slightly and hearing a muffled “come in.”

You creaked the door open to watch Shawn turn around to see you. 

“[Y/N],” he said just above a whisper as his face fell. 

Before he could say anything else, you opened up the door more to show Ross with you. Shawn’s immediately put on a different face as he stood up. 

“Shawn, this is Ross Thompson, senior manager at Samson Management. Ross, this is Shawn Mendes, Clinton’s own Broadway baby,” you said with a smile as the two shook hands before Shawn nervously stuffed his in his pockets and glanced over at you. 

“You were amazing,” Ross started. “And we would love to meet with you sometime, over at Samson.”

“Really? That would be amazing,” Shawn said with a smile. 

Ross handed him his card before saying, “Email me Monday morning about what times work best for you within this next week, and we’ll set up a time where the three of us can talk.” He said as he gestured at you, and you nodded your head. 

“Thank you so much. I look forward to talking more,” Shawn said as he shook Ross’s hand again. 

“We’ll see you then,” Ross said as the both of you turned toward the door. 

“[Y/N]?” You heard him say as you both turned around. “Can I steal you for a minute?”

You swallowed hard before nodding over at Ross.

“I’ll meet you guys at Ellen’s,” you said with a soft smile before Ross waved goodbye and walked out. 

You shut the door behind him before you leaned against it and looked at Shawn. 

“I have about a million things to say, and I don’t know which one to start with,” he said a little too quickly. 

“Yeah, I figured.”

“What did you say?” He paused. “That made him want to talk with me?”

“Well, he asked about you and was so excited to hear that we went to high school together, so I told him everything I could,” you said quietly. 

“Which was?” He pried. 

“Um,” you faltered. “I said that we starred in the musicals together…”

“And?” He cut you off. 

“And that you’re amazing at what you do. That you were born to be doing this, and it shows when you walk onstage. That you have a good heart, but sometimes have a hard time showing it. That we didn’t always get off on the right foot, but at the end of it all, we made a really good duo,” you said, trying to look anywhere but his eyes that seemed to be piercing into yours. 

“You mean that?”

You could hear the strain in his voice. 

“Of course I do,” you said through an exhale. “Look at you, Shawn. You just walked out on that stage like you’ve been playing this role your whole life. You had that whole audience convinced you were the actual Evan Hansen when that person doesn’t even exist.”

A moment of silence surrounded the two of you. You stared just past Shawn at the table scattered with his things, focusing on an open foundation bottle instead of him. 

“So you liked it?” He finally said. 

“I loved it,” you said quietly. “I’ve never actually gotten to see perform from an audience before. It was breathtaking.”

“Thanks,” he said almost under his breath. 

It went quiet again, and you uncomfortably switched from one foot to the other as the tension filled the room like so many times before. Except for all different reasons. 

“So why’d you leave?” He finally asked as his hands flew up with frustration. 

Your body slumped as you sighed and sat on the arm of the chair right next to the door. 

“Please don’t do this, Shawn,” you begged as you looked at the floor. 

“No, I’m doing this. Why did you leave? I’m not just some guy you met at a bar, [Y/N]. I thought you had a little more respect for me than that,” he said, the frustration in his voice evident. 

“Because you’re you,” you started. “You’re a pain in my ass and have been for the past nine years. I’ve had to watch you captivate the stage with this natural flair that only you could pull off, and I never could. Seeing you on Saturday was like being on stage as a freshman as Gabriella all over again, and I was staring at Troy, who had the confidence of ten people, showing this whole world what he can do, and I can’t. I couldn’t just let myself live in whatever fake world we made up Saturday night just to regret it Sunday morning.”

“Why are you saying this? It’s been five years since we last sang together, but it felt like yesterday when I looked at you doing that note change you always did when we sang that song. Whenever I perform with you, I forget that you’re you. I forget that you hate my guts half the time and the other half of the time you’re tolerating it because you have to,” he said, frustration evident in his voice. “You can’t make up excuses anymore, [Y/N]. What happened Saturday was not some performance. We’re not in high school. And even if we were, you are still just as amazing as a performer as you think I am, but you’re still stuck in this mindset that you were just put there by default.”

“Do you know how hard it is to perform with you when everyone who encounters you falls in love with you?” You almost yelled as you stood up, and Shawn stepped back. “I had to, and still have to, work twice as hard as you to get half of the recognition you did. We were never equals. I didn’t hate you, Shawn. I could never hate you because of how you made me feel like I was everything when we were on stage together. I have tried every night for the past nine years to forget the way my stomach would flip when you sang to me, and right when I thought I could, I was right back to it because of that fucking reunion.”

“Then why did you leave?” He finally yelled. “I thought I had finally figured you out, finally figured out how I could get you to be mine, and by the time I woke up, you were gone and probably halfway to New York. Why won’t you just accept that there was always something here, but you were too scared to ever admit it because of what other people thought of me?”

You didn’t say anything. You didn’t have anything to say. 

“I have been chasing after you for nine years, and I’m just starting to think that I just can’t do it anymore,” he said quietly as he sat down on the couch opposite of you with his hand on his forehead. 

You watched the way he rubbed his forehead as he caught his breath, the way his body slumped as he let out everything he’d always wanted to say. 

“When I woke up on Sunday, I couldn’t get out of my head that I was just there because I was convenient for the night. That I wasn’t what you actually wanted,” you said slowly. “I didn’t realize there was something more.”

He sighed and looked up at you.

“But by the time I got back here, I knew I shouldn’t have left. I made that mistake, and I’m sorry that you had to deal with the consequences of it. Whenever I’m with you, I just get caught back in this old mindset that you’re always going to be better than me, and that’s a real blow to the ego, but it’s all in my head,” you said. 

He didn’t say anything as you finished your thoughts. 

“That’s all I have left to say,” you said after a moment.

“Then I think you should go,” you said just above a whisper. 

“Shawn…” you started. 

“I’ve had enough for one night. Please just go.”

So you did.

—

The following week was just as painful as the one before as you awaited the meeting you would eventually have to sit through with just Ross and Shawn. The calendar notification popped up Monday morning, so you knew Shawn called him as soon as he possibly could to set this up. You had a brief meeting with Ross on Thursday morning, and Shawn was planned to join you shortly after. 

You walked with Ross to one of the rooms on the first floor to go over some notes before meeting Shawn. He pulled up his laptop and let out a sigh. 

“I need you to be honest with me about how you feel about Shawn,” Ross said. 

“Ok,” you said carefully. 

“Because I asked around and the things I’ve heard have been exactly 50/50. People either love him or hate him. I can’t afford to have a hated man on our team,” Ross explained. “So I need the real story.”

You took a deep breath and stared at your own computer screen before looking up at him. 

“I have known Shawn since I was 14. The first time I met him was a chemistry read for High School Musical. I had heard about him. I had heard…not the greatest things about him. That he had a big ego and knew he was good and wasn’t afraid to flaunt it. So, I went into that chemistry read with this horrible idea of him in my head. And I held on to it for a lot longer than I’d like to admit. But every day I spent with him on the stage, that chipped away more and more,” you said. 

“What I said on Friday, about him knowing this is what he was meant to do, is completely true. People often take that the wrong way. I took that the wrong way. I wasted years hating him when he was just passionate about what he did. Once you realize that, he is genuinely one of the most amazing performers you will ever work with and just as amazing of a person,” you finished. 

Ross nodded his head as he leaned back in his chair, crossing an ankle over a knee as he bit the end of his pen. 

“I trust you,” he said after a moment. 

Before you could say anything else, Ross’s laptop dinged to notify him that Shawn was here. 

“You want to go get him?” Ross offered. 

You nodded your head and walked out of the room and down the long hallway to see Shawn waiting at the end of it by the receptionist’s desk. 

“Shawn,” you said with a head nod towards the hallway. 

He didn’t say anything and followed you down the hallway. 

Before you went in, Shawn stopped a few feet away from the door. You turned around and looked at him. 

“This is make or break for me,” he said. 

“I know.”

“What do you think it’s going to be?” He asked. 

You sighed and leaned against the wall. 

“Despite what has happened, I have done everything I possibly can at this point. I believe in you, Shawn, and I’ve done everything I can to get Ross to feel that same way,” you explained. 

“You mean that?”

“Every word.”

You didn’t allow him time to respond as you opened the door and let him in in front of you. His nerves seemed to evaporate away as he shook Ross’s hand and took a seat across from the two of you. 

Ross sighed as he sat down before he said, “I’ll cut right to it.”

Shawn simply nodded his head. 

“We would love for you to join our team,” he said. 

You watched Shawn relax, and it took everything in you not to jump up. 

“Thank you so much, sir. You won’t regret it,” Shawn said with a smile that could light up the entire city. 

“I know,” Ross said with a head nod. “You’re lucky you have someone as great as [Y/N] in your life. She did a really good job of talking you up.”

Shawn looked at you as your eyes widened at Ross’s blatant statement. 

“Yeah,” Shawn said, still looking at you. “I am.”

The meeting went relatively quickly as preliminary paperwork was filled out and the basics were gone over. The looks Shawn gave you didn’t go unnoticed as you explained the necessary policies. 

“Well, Shawn, that’s all we have for you today,” Ross said as he stacked up some papers and set them on top of his laptop. “You’ll be working mostly with me and [Y/N], but for the majority of the time it’ll just be [Y/N],” he said as he gestured to you. 

You nodded your head as Shawn looked at you again and nodded along. 

“You have my number, but call this number if it’s during work hours,” you said as you handed him your card. “I check my email constantly, so you’ll also be able to reach me quickly there if I’m in a meeting.”

“Got it,” he said as he placed your card with the other papers stacked in his arms. 

“We look forward to working with you,” Ross said as he gestured forward. “I’ll have [Y/N] walk you out,” 

You and Shawn walked out the door and down the hallway towards the front door as tension surrounded you two again. 

“Can I see you this weekend?” Shawn said quickly as you reached the front door. 

Without saying anything, you pushed him out the front door, and you followed behind him. 

“Sorry,” he mumbled. 

“No, no, just the receptionist is nosey,” you said with a head shake. “Ross doesn’t care.”

“Oh, ok.”

“Anyway…” you offered. 

“Right, I just think we need to talk,” he said as he impatiently fiddled with his thumbs. 

“What’s there left to say, Shawn?” You asked as you crossed your arms as an unexpected breeze blew by. “We both said what we needed to last weekend. I got you your management team. What else do you want?”

“I don’t just want you because of a management team,” Shawn said with hurt in his voice. “And I did not think you’d be the one I’d work with if they brought me on here.”

“We want to keep you with people you know-“

“That doesn’t matter right now. [Y/N], what I’m trying to say is I want to see you. I want to take you on a damn date because I’ve wanted to since I was 14 and heard you sing ‘Breaking Free,’” he said, sounding out of breath, rarely seeing him so vulnerable.

You felt the smile tug at your lips as you tried to keep a straight face. 

“We do still have a lot to talk about,” you said. 

“A shit ton, but it would be a lot easier to do that over a drink, and when I know you feel the same way I do about you.”

You rolled your eyes with a smile before you said, “Of course, I want to get a drink with you. As a date.”

“Thank, God,” he said as his body slumped and his breath left him. 

“I told Ross about how I truly felt about you. That that big ego I thought you had was just passion for what you did, and I realize that now. And I’m sorry I couldn’t do it sooner,” you said before pausing. “You’re a good guy, Shawn,” you said simply as you looked up at him. “I don’t think I say that enough, and certainly not to your face.”

“Then say it again,” he said through a small smile. 

“Never.”

He stepped forward, aiming to kiss you but you held your hand up before he did. 

“I’m not going to kiss you outside my office, and I don’t kiss before the first date,” you said with a smirk.

He returned the look as he raised an eyebrow and leaned in to hug you. 

You held on to him tightly as he gripped onto you the same way. You felt his lips graze over your ear. 

“We’ve done a lot more than kiss before our first date.”

You pushed him off and walked towards the door, begging the blush to disappear from your face before you made it back to your office. 

“See you tomorrow? Ed’s on fifth? Pick you up at 6?”

You turned around and looked at him as he started backing away. 

“The Broadway bar? Really?”

“I have a brand,” he said with a shrug and his signature smirk.

You turned to go into the building before leaning out the door to look at him one last time.

“See you then, broadway baby.”

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Mutt’s new home 2

I’m bad at naming things i write... Anyway, here’s part two! I had a tone of fun writing this, despite all the mistakes i made with the tenses...

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Trigger warnings: mention of blood and burns and stuff

Tag list: @castielamigos-whump-side-blog @burtlederp @im-not-rare-im-rarr @comfortforthepain @18-toe-beans

To say that Gavin had no idea what the hell he was doing, would be an understatement. He’d never want anything to do with any Pet in the first place, and most definitely never wanted one as his own. He couldn’t have dealt with a Pet under any circumstances, and sure as hell couldn’t deal with one as scared as this one. He had no idea what to do. He didn’t want to frighten or stress him out, but had no idea how to avoid that. But he tried his best to just focus on tending to the injuries of the young man. Gavin crouched down in front of the couch once again.

“Could you please stop hugging your legs to your chest? Please? I just want to help you…” He complied without hesitation, albeit still shaking like a leaf. Now Gavin could get a good look at the man sitting before him. He could quickly summarize that he had no idea where to start. Mutt looks an absolute mess, and Gavin’s skills in first-aid weren’t the best. But he’d took a course a year or two ago, and remembered some of the things he’d learnt. First, he tried to prioritize what looks the worst from what looks more minor.

A dark bruise covers his right cheek, and other more faded-out ones cover his jaw and area around the eyes. A not too old looking cut lays high on his right cheek, and there are abrasions covering his jaw in places. Gavin guesses the latter is due to the muzzle. Bruises cover Mutt’s neck, probably from choking, and shoulders. Gavin reaches out and carefully prods the man’s clavicle and gets greeted with a whimper in response.

“Sorry…” Mutt doesn’t show any sign of having heard him.

After doing the same with his other collarbone, Gavin thinks that it’s safe to say they both seem intact, despite all the bruising. The same goes for his ribs. The bruising there is still dark in spots, but all in all, it appears more faded. The criss-cross of new and old cuts, some looking almost fresh and still bleeding, others already healing or scars. His left side bears an injury, that on closer inspection, turns out to be some sort of burn or scald. Curiosity drowned out by common sense Gavin doesn’t press Mutt on the subject. His legs look a similar state to his chest, though there seems to be more burns here. Specifically two pretty nasty ones in either crook of his knee. Gavin only finds out about these when he tries to shift Mutt’s knee to take a better look at it, slipping his hand under it. The man lets out a pained howl which he quickly tries to quench by biting into the side of his hand.

“Shit! Sorry! Sorry…” Leaning down a bit more, Gavin tries to see what caused such a reaction. The ugly burns that he discovers shock him. “Shit… That looks bad… Shit.” Gavin feels sick. It sickens him that someone would treat another person like this. “Shit. I’m really sorry.” Not knowing what to say, Gavin continued looking at the rest of Mutt. Next to a probably sprained ankle and some healing cuts at the bottom of his feet there was nothing too different from the rest. There seem to be a lot of scars hinting at past injuries, like long scars covering the bottom of his feet and palms of his hands, and the scars at his left shoulder, knee and some on both of his hands probably from breaks that needed medical attention. And his back was most definitively a mess. Scars cris-cross in each direction, with fresher welts and cuts that lay over those.

Gavin has to take a moment to breath an think. He stands up and takes a few steps away from him. Pacing back and forth, tugging at his shirt nervously, he tries to get his act together. He knows he shouldn’t be thinking about himself right now, but he was finding it hard to process this all. At the start of the night he was thinking about if his hair didn’t look like he was trying too hard to look smart, and now he was the owner of an injured and traumatized Pet who has probably seen more abuse and pain dealt to him then Gavin could even imagine. What was he going to do? He couldn’t just… fix the damage and wrongs Mr. Hughes and others had done to the man like one would fix a car with a dented hood. Taking a deep breath Gavin pushes his nerves away as best he can, and turns back to the matter at hand. Mutt is trying to sit still, but can’t stop the trembling in his limbs. Gavin walks back over to him and crouches down.

“I’m… I’m going to try to take care of your injuries the best I can now. Some of it will probably hurt, so please tell me to stop if it’s too much, or I’m doing something wrong. I’ll… Yeah, I’ll just start if that’s okay…” Slowly, Mutt nods.

He starts by trying to clean any open wound with water and disinfectant. If he learnt something in the first-aid course he attended, it’s that you should clean open wounds thoroughly. The man was obviously trying his best to stay quiet, and was scarily good at it too. The fist time he let any kind of sound out being when Gavin pressed the wet cloth to the burn on his flank. He let out a quiet whine, closely followed by a hasty, frantic apology. Gavin made sure to assure him that it was okay for him to let out noises of pain if the pain got too bad and hoped it didn’t sound like he just wanted to hear his Pets pain being vocalized. Tending to his back and the nasty burns in the crooks of his knees lead to more pained whimpering, and Gavin had to stop for a while to let him breath whilst treating the latter. Gavin soon notices that he’ll need to buy more first-aid supplies, especially bandaging materials. But he has about enough to get the open wounds covered more or less.

Taking a look at the man, Gavin decides that it won’t be getting any better then this. To be honest, Mutt does not look any better at all. Now he just looks unwell and covered in bandages and plasters and such. Gavin sighs and rests his face in his hands.

“How are you holding up? Would you like an Advil?”

Scrunching his face up in confusion and leaning forwards, Mutt inquires “Ad… Advil?”

“Um… It’s a painkiller.”

“I… With… With all d… due respect Sir, I know wh… what Advil is…” Mutt ducks his head, like he’s expecting to be slapped. “I… I was just wondering… Why was… waste medicine on… on a… a Pet, Sir?”

Gavin messes with his hair whilst trying not to plot his boss’s murder. “I… I don’t see it as wasting medicine if I give it to someone that needs it. And I think you could use an Advil…”

“R… really, sir?”

“Yeah… Also, no need to call me Sir…” Gavin grabbed the box of Advil and a glass of water, handing both to the man sitting on his couch, who takes it looking unbelievably grateful. “It probably won’t take the pain away completely, but might… take the edge off. I don’t know… I’m not a pharmacist or a doctor…” Nervously Gavin runs his hand through his hair again and smiles a little bit awkwardly.

“Thank you Mas…” Mutt stops himself, takes a deep breath and tries again. “Thank you Ga… Gavin.”

Gavin laughs awkwardly. “No need to thank me. You shouldn’t have to be in pain…” For a moment, Gavin zones out, just staring off into the distance. Until he suddenly snapped out of it when he realized that Mutt was still only wearing those short white pants, that basically where essentially just boxer shorts, and that he still hadn’t offered him something to eat.

“Wait here a moment…” Gavin started to go off to look for a  clean pair of pyjamas for his… guest. “I’ll be right back!” It didn’t take him long to find something. A light-grey, short-sleeved top, and a pair of light-blue pyjama trousers. Both where relatively loose and mad of soft cotton.

Rushing back downstairs and handing the man the cloths and telling him to put them on, Gavin leaves to give him some privacy. So he goes to the kitchen to try and find something for him to eat. Gavin guessed he’d probably had pretty sparse meals whilst living with his previous master, so he opted to try and find something not all too heavy.

After checking the fridge and cupboards, he decides to make a bag of alphabet soup. Broth seems to be the go-to food for people who haven’t been eating for a while or are sick, and something warm was sure to be a good idea. He put the kettle on and went to check on the man. He was sitting on the couch again, trembling lightly.

“I… Uhh… Put the kettle on to make you some broth. I hope that’s okay.” Mutt nods eagerly. “So… would you like to… sit at the table until it’s done?”

“Sit… at a table? I’m all… allowed on furniture?” Gavin nods. The man gets up, looking slightly unstable. Gavin moves closer, letting Mutt lean on him. The way to the table is a bit slow, but no one ends up falling over, so Gavin sees it as a success. Sitting down, the man winces.

“Shit… Um… What’s causing you pain?” Looking him over, Gavin’s nerves return full force. What if he had overseen something? What if he had internal injuries? A look of shock crosses Mutt’s face and staring at Gavin with wide eyes he replies.

“It’s no… nothing new… Jus… just the abrupt change of posture pu… pulling at the injuries. Also the burns on my l… legs.” Gavin was surprised at Mutt’s lack of trying to hide his pain, but was happy he was being honest.

“Oh. Maybe if you move a bit forwards on the chair it won’t touch the burns?” Mutt doesn’t hesitate to do what Gavin told him to do. Gavin smiles, hoping he’s more comfortable now. Suddenly springing into action, Gavin broke the silence.

“I’ll get you the broth. You just… stay here and try to relax I guess.” Gavin shrugged, and went back into the kitchen. He made the soup in a bowl, making sure to ad a bit of cold water, to make sure it wasn’t too hot. Grabbing a spoon from a drawer, he made his way to the table. He put the soup down in front of the man who he now apparently owned, and smiled.

“Eat up. Or… don’t. I’m not forcing you to do anything.” He shrugs. “Just… eat as much as you feel like eating.” Thankfulness spreads over Mutt’s facial expression, and, still a little hesitantly, he starts to take spoonful after spoonful of soup.

Gavin takes the moment of relative calm to sit down on one of the other chairs, using his elbow to prop up his head. A wave of tiredness overcomes him. Well it was like… two in the morning, right? Gavin had no idea. He knew it would have to be early, but he wasn’t wearing a watch, and his mobile was probably in his jacket. All he knew, was that he was tired. Trying to keep awake and focused, he tried to concentrate on the man sitting at the same table as him. That did work for a while, but not for long. Soon his thoughts drifted, and his focus waned and not even the feeling of his face hitting the table could snap him back to reality.

[revengeworld]

Journey

Artist! Kylo x Reader Modern AU

Words: +3.900

Warnings: a bit of Angst and a bit of fluff, who can say no to that

AN: Slowly getting back into writing again! :)

MY MASTERLIST - Can be found in my Bio if you´re interested in more of my work!

Since month Kylo was succumbing to this madness that was suddenly torturing his mind. Letting his brush run over the big canvas in front of him, before he threw both of it down onto the ground.

He was supposed to show is new works in a museum in just a few weeks but the only thing he could draw was one thing.

The young woman that was haunting his dreams and clutching at his creativity. Kylo had never seen her in his life and at first he had thought that it was just a small imagination until he couldn't stop drawing her. Every little detail he could see in his dreams, her shimmering eyes, how the light fell on her shining her, how her smile always made his heart flutter. At first, it was small appearances in his dreams but now, even awake, he couldn't stop thinking about her, when he closed his eyes he could see her so clearly before him but as soon as opened them again she vanished and it was driving him crazy.

He just knew she belonged to him, but how would he ever be able to find her, if she really existed.

Picking up the canvas he had thrown through the room, he looked at this gorgeous face that was haunting him. He placed it back into its easel before pushing his hand into red paint, slapping his hand on the ride side of the canvas with a swift motion he dragged his fingers over her eyes.

Hearing the door open behind him, he immediately glared at the person that intruded. It was his manager Phasma, who looked shocked around at all the paintings of the same face.

“I´ve been trying to reach you for days and this is what you have been up to?” she started to scold him when the tall woman came out of her surprised state, while the Artist in front of her only scoffed.

Phasma knew he could be a bit obsessive with a motive from time to time, but she never had seen him obsess over a model so much, especially since he was sending every model she had send him away in the last few weeks until she recognized this innocent face.

“You have met Y/N?” looking over to Kylo who leaned over a table in exhaustion, the blond woman was confused about how they would even know each other.

“Y/N?” he asked, his ears perking up.

“You know her?!” in an instant he was standing in front of his manager, eager to know more about this Y/N.

Confused her brows knitted, how could he draw her so much and not even know her name?

“She has taken over her Grandfather's little Art Supply Shop in the old Part of town. How can you not know, if you ...”

“I only saw her once on the street.” he lied quickly and the blond woman suddenly smiled.

“That means you finally got your muse back! These are good news!” while she was excited about this new development, Kylo seemed completely on edge.

“I can introduce you to her, I get most of your art supplies there anyway. We can go later on if you want.” she of course noticed the intrigument in his eyes when she mentioned it and not a half hour later they were sitting in the car.

As soon as he got out of the car, he could already see the woman called Y/N who was tending to some customers.

Finally being able to see her up close and personal, made his heart flutter immediately that it almost pained him.

Turning away from the shop he leaned against the car and brushed his hair back.

“I can't … not like this...” he mumbled to himself and his Manager looked confused at him.

“Then how do you expect on meeting her?” she asked frustrated.

Grabbing his sketchbook, he ripped out a piece of paper and wrote something down on it.

“Tell her to come here by Friday. I need her to model for me!”

Phasma only shook her head at his request.

“You are unbelievable. How am I supposed to tell this sweet girl that a man she never has seen before wants her to come to his villa in the snowy mountains where she will be alone with him!” stomping with her foot Kylo only shrugged his shoulders.

“I pay her of course.” not understanding the Problem, Phasma buried her face in her hands.

“I can't with you … fine. But don't actually think she would show up with this suspicious request.” while Kylo sat back in the car, his hand clutched in his shirt while his beating heart wouldn't calm down, Phasma made her way into the shop.

Looking down on the piece of paper, Y/N wasn't sure if the Taxi Driver really dropped her off in the right spot. She was in front of a large stone fence with a wide metal door.

For a moment, she tried to find some sort of bell or an intercom, but nothing like this was around besides a metal plate with the name Ren on it.

So at least she was in the right spot.

Feeling her heart flutter at that name, she took a deep breath. When Phasma had stated the request from her boss, she was first reluctant to go until she had gotten a small glance of the man that was waiting in the car. Suddenly it felt like the right thing to do.

And now here she was, stomping along a beautiful, snowy path until she could see a warm light coming from the big house between some trees, a frozen river right beside it.

While she waddled through the last few meters of snow, she needed to admit that this place was extremely beautiful and calming, hopefully she was able to explore it a bit in the week she was supposed to stay here.

Holding onto the strap from her bag, Y/N had finally made it to the front door. When she reached up with a shivering hand, the door was suddenly ripped open, a tall man standing right in front of her as if he had forgotten something and was now trying to rush somewhere.

“Mister Ren?” she stuttered a bit too excited by the sight that was been giving her.

The painter was a bit out of breath, only clothed in a tank top and a sweatpants, his hands stained with charcoal. One wide black streak was going right over his forehead, probably from brushing the hair that had fallen out from his ponytail, out his face.

Not even answering her question, the tall man suddenly cupped her face and inspected it closely while leaving black hand marks on her skin.

Her sweet and gorgeous face was flushed from the cold weather and for a moment Kylo regretted that he had forgotten to pick her up at the gate.

But now she was really here, right in front of him as beautiful as he had seen her in his dreams and his heart was beating faster.

“Come with me!” grabbing the bag she was holding in her hand, Kylo grabbed her wrist and pulled her along to the second floor into his atelier.

Like Phasma had already warned her, Kylo Ren the most admired artist at the moment was quite the eccentric man.

“Sit here...” pulling a chair right in front of his easel, he gently pressed her down into it.

“I… I'm not … I couldn't even make myself ready...” she mumbled, nervous that he wanted to sketch her right here and now, with her hair messy from the wind and bare faced.

“No need, you're perfect just like that ...” he whispered concentrated.

“But if it makes you more comfortable you can take of your coat.” putting the bag that he had taken from her on a table, she took the time to take off her coat and brush through her hair with her fingers, before she sat back down, letting him adjust her posture how he wanted her to sit.

“If you need anything just tell me, but for now just stay like you are...”

Since her face was facing slightly away from him, Y/N was only able to look outside the big window next to her instead of watching Kylo draw which she had been more anticipating, but for now, she sat as still as she could and waited instead.

The sun was already setting when she heard a relieved sighed from Kylo and the last bit of charcoal fall onto the floor.

Daring to take a look, she saw the young man smiling at the canvas so proud and satisfied that her lips curled up as well.

“Come here… ” stretching his hand out to her, she quickly left her place and took his hand.

With a gentle pull from him, she was standing in front of him and he rested his hands on her hips while she was too astounded to say a word.

“What do you think?” his breath was hitting her neck, while he whispered those words into her ear which made her shiver.

“It's so lively even though it is just black and white. I … I can't believe that's me … It's astonishing.”

He had even included his black handprint on her neck and it just gave the drawing it's final touch.

“No, it's perfect.” he chuckled lightly before leaning his head gently against her shoulder.

Finally, it felt like forever ago when he was satisfied with the work he had put out. She was the one who would bring him out of this creative hole he had fallen in.

Feeling her carefully lean against his chest, his arms automatically wrapped closer around her waist. Both of them felt so comfortable and safe in the other's presence that the worries Y/N had beforehand seemed so ridiculous now.

If she could help him create such wonderful things by just posing for him, she would gladly do so.

“You are probably pretty exhausted from the drive … oh for christs sake! I'm so sorry I completely stained your shirt.” he apologized when his eyes had sawn what his hands had done.

“Oh please don't worry about it. One wash and it's fine again, when i fill up the pastels at the shop it happens often enough, but maybe i should help you clean up.” she chuckled softly at all the streaks on his face.

With a smile he pulled her towards the big sink in this room, where a lot of used art brushes and glasses were standing.

When she had dampened a clean wet cloth and foamed it with a bit of soap, Y/N gently took one of his hands before she started to clean them.

While she was occupied with that, Kylo couldn't stop staring at her beauty. Every little thing on her seemed perfect to him and if he could he would draw her day and night and with a bit of luck Y/N would even consider it.

Gently laying one of her hands against the side of his face, she tried to brush carefully away the black streaks on his forehead.

Closing his eyes, he just enjoyed her soft touch for now. After cleaning the last bit of charcoal off of him, Y/N smiled satisfied before washing the now dirty cloth.

“Here, let me...” laying his hand gently onto hers, Kylo took the cloth from her, to clean his handprints of her neck and jaw.

“God, you are so beautiful...” he suddenly whispered and Y/N immediately started to blush and averted her eyes shyly.

Without noticing the two had hooked their fingers together and stood so close that she could feel his breath fan against her face, while he leaned his forehead gently against hers.

Laying her free hand against his chest, Y/N took all her courage to speak up.

“I had dreams… about you… Even though I had never seen you before … and suddenly I couldn’t forget your face anymore.” she let her fingers wander up his neck before brushing over his cheek.

“I know it sounds ridiculous ...” when her eyes met his brown ones, Y/N quickly looked away.

“No it doesn’t! It was the same for me...Y/N.” Kylo wanted to hold her closer until a ringing interrupted their tender moment.

“Sorry I need to take this. You can feel right at home, pick a room that you like.” laying his hand against her neck for another moment, Kylo soon rushed down to the living room, to answer the call.

Taking an excited shaky breath, she bit her lip for a moment. God, she was so nervous. It felt like her heart was ready to burst out of her chest.

Opening up her bag, she placed the small package with new paint brushes and colours onto the table that Y/N had brought as a present.

Since she could still hear Kylo talk downstairs, she slowly made her way through the upper floor and looked inside the rooms. There were three guestrooms, Kylos seemed to be the big one at the end of the floor. Every room had it´s own bathroom and she couldn’t wait for a nice hot bath this evening.

Taking her time to make herself a bit more presentable, Y/N changed into a new top after brushing her hair. With a quick wash, her dirtied shirt was as good as new and she could let it dry for now.

Quietly making her way down the stairs, Y/N found herself soon in the kitchen, where she took a glass and filled it with tap water.

Her cheeks still felt like they were burning and when she laid her hand against one of them she could feel how hot she was and probably how red her face was.

“Sorry, I needed to answer this call.” he mumbled apologetically while approaching her.

“Please don’t worry about that, Mr. Ren.”

“Oh please, Kylo is enough.” the painter waved dismissively with his hand.

“I thought we might could go out for dinner. You’re probably hungry. If you want we can...” but suddenly he broke off when his eyes fell on the snowstorm that was unfolding outside. Kylo wanted to have a nice evening with her in a fancy restaurant and now his plans were suddenly destroyed by nature.

Hearing her soft and cheerful chuckle, he looked back at Y/N who tried to hide her smile.

“I think together we could cook us something special with the things we have here.” she encouraged him and he looked down at her hand that was gently brushing over his arm.

“That sounds like a wonderful idea.” without thinking twice, Kylo laid his hand on her lower back.

Phasma seemed to have thought of everything when she prepared his trip. The cabinets were filled with enough food for at least two weeks and it made him wonder why she had sent so much up here.

Taking their time, Kylo and Y/N decided on a simple meal and each took a part in the cooking. While she was standing at the stove, to make the sauce for their cooking spaghetti, Kylo finished the salad. At least he tried.

Even now he couldn’t hold himself back to stare at her from time to time.

While they were eating, their conversation drifted from one topic to another, which even surprised Kylo then he was not someone who was very good at holding conversations up. But with her everything felt so intimate and natural.

Even hours later they were sitting together on the couch with a glass of fine just laughing and talking. Y/N was slightly leaning against him, while Kylo had his arm rested behind her, his hand gently brushing over her shoulder.

When he noticed that Y/Ns head was suddenly leaning against his arm, he smiled gently for a moment.

“Maybe we should go to bed. It was a long day.” he whispered into her ear and she nodded tired.

“Go on, rest. I will clean this up.” watching her slowly wander up the stairs, Kylo spilled the last bit of wine from their glasses into the sink, before placing everything neatly in the dishwasher.

After checking everything a last time, Kylo went back into the Atelier to look at the first real painting he made of her. One that wasn’t influenced by pain and frustration, but rather with excitement, anticipation and devotion.

Turning of the light, he made his way down the hall before he saw a light coming from under the doorway.

With two small knocks he announced his presence and waited until Kylo could hear her soft voice, allowing him to come inside.

“If there is anything you need, you can find me in ...” lifting his gaze, he suddenly forgot the rest of his sentence.

Y/N was sitting on her bed, her hair still a bit wet from the bath she had just taken, clothes in a red silk robe while she was applying a lotion to her skin.

Seeing his dazed look, Y/N could smile again.

“Judging from your look, you really want to sketch me right now… correct?”

“Would that be alright?” he swallowed hard.

“Go on, get your sketchbook.” as soon as she spoke those words he was already sprinting back to his atelier.

Grabbing his sketchbook and a few pencils, Kylo could feel his heartbeat in his chest. He was happy to draw again, something very different from the feelings he had before.

Painting just became a chore at some point, there was no excitement nor satisfaction anymore, but now … Y/N gave him the inspiration that he needed. She was his muse and maybe even more…

Returning to her, Kylo started his rough sketch immediately and after one hour he was already done, to give Y/N her deserved rest and privacy.

“Good Night...” he whispered with a smile since she already was drifting off into a deep slumber.

His eyes wandered to his own bedroom door until he turned to the complete other direction, back into his atelier.

The next morning, Y/N awoke to the snowflakes faintly falling down the sky and against the window in her room. Brushing the sleep out of her eyes, she was already excited what this day might bring.

After she had washed up and after taming her hair, she wanted to make her way downstairs to prepare a nice breakfast until she noticed a hunched figure sitting against the easel.

Quietly making her way towards the atelier, Y/N couldn’t hinder a little shake with her head before she smiled.

“Oh Kylo ...” looking at herself as an Acrylic painting, from his sketch last night, he wasted his whole night to finish this.

“Come on I will bring you to your bed...” she whispered, not to interrupt his sleep to harshly.

Laying one of his arms over her shoulder, both of them stumbled to his bedroom.

When she had finally placed him under his blanket and onto the soft mattress, it was time to make a nice breakfast until he would wake up.

Turning around to leave again, she suddenly felt his hand wrap around her wrist.

“Don’t go...” he started to mumble and she gently brushed the long strands of hair out of his face.

“I’m not going anywhere.” she promised. Carefully climbing next to him, she gently held onto his hand while watching this exhausted man sleep.

Of course he apologized immediately as soon as he awoke from his slumber, which only made her smile even more.

Y/N already started to make some delicious and wide range breakfast while Kylo could slowly wake up with a nice cup of hot coffee.

“What do you think of a walk outside today. The weather seemed to have calmed down and I don’t want to hold you in here like a golden cage.” suddenly feeling her lips against his temple hi eyes widened for a moment.

“I would love that, the area here seems so beautiful and calm.” the rest of his sentence she just ignored, while placing his full plate in front of him. Grabbing her hand for a moment, he pressed a small kiss against her soft skin.

The rest of the week it was mostly the same. After breakfast they would wander through the snowy landscape, Kylo sometimes sketching her right then and there or just enjoying each others company and the wonderful view they had. After that, he would mostly start working on the paintings with different materials while she quietly watched him. It was fascinating how much work he would put into just little details and how his eyes shimmered with excitement while he was working.

Sometimes he would call her over, just to inspect her face again with a tight grip around her jaw and at some moments Y/N thought he might just kiss her, but he never did. Maybe out of respect towards her, or maybe because he just saw her as an inspiration and nothing more.

In the evenings they would cook together and have hour long conversations.

”You can’t tell me that you are selling art supplies and not even tried to draw once.” he chuckled on the last evening they would have together.

“Well I just did and it is true!” she laughed, trying to hide her smile behind her hand again.

“Besides you also didn’t tell me that I would be the only model for your whole collection that will be displayed in an art exhibition.”

“Fair enough. And since all of them are finished...” he whispered ominously while he stood from the dinner table.

“We have enough time for one last one. Yours.” gently pulling her along, Y/N seemed confused for a moment.

“Right now?”

“Right now.” sitting her down in the usual bar chair he used, Kylo placed a fresh canvas on the easel, before standing closely behind her.

“B...but I don’t even know what to draw...” she immediately stuttered and felt embarrassed in front of such a big artist.

“That’s fine, we’ll work our way in… slowly.” holding out his hand, Y/N gently took it.

Soon both of their hands were covered in paint. Kylo was guiding her over the rough canvas, helping her create whatever she was imagining and together they created something so intriguing and passionate that they both needed a moment.

Slowly turning around to him, Y/N just cupped his face, staining his skin with every colour she had drawn with, like the time he left his handprints on her the first time they finally saw each other.

Pulling him gently down towards her, she just took the risk and let her lips brush over his plum ones.

In an instant, Kylo grabbed Y/N by her hips and picked her up only to sat her down on the table. Letting his hand run over her neck, he pulled her closer only intensifying this kiss even further.

Leaving paint all over the others bodies, both of them soon needed to separate from each other before they started to chuckle.

“All these months ago… I never would have thought that this might be the end of this journey.” he sighed, laying his head gently against her forehead.

“Oh Kylo, this is only the beginning.” stealing another kiss from him, they only smiled at each other.

[bazypitchandsimonsnow]

The Black Swan

Chapter 11

Rating: T

Genre: Fluff/Angst

Word count: 6722

Chapter: 11/17 (All chapters)

Summary: Everything comes to a head.

Read on AO3

AN: Hello. Sorry this is late. If some of you don't already know, I've got pretty severe chronic headaches. They're unpredictable af and can completely incapacitate me, which they have for the past two days (hooray). But I'm mostly alright now, so here's the chapter! Enjoy :)

———————————————

“And now, block,” David said as he brought his sword down. He was moving slower than a normal fight, but faster than would probably be safe for a normal person. But Simon blocked him with ease, two hands tight on the hilt, legs bracing himself against David. His arms barely shook with effort anymore. Years of training were paying off. Simon didn’t care though. He didn’t really care about much of anything lately.

“Good,” David said, though his voice was more neutral. “What do you do now?”

Simon didn’t bother to answer verbally. He rarely had the energy for words these past few days. Instead, he simply did what he knew. He stepped to the side and stuck his leg out. David purposely tripped, and Simon pressed the flat of his sword to the back of his neck. In a real fight he’d use the edge, of course. However if this were a real fight, Simon would never have a chance to get this close to a master sword fighter like David.

“Good, Simon. Now let me up”

Simon took a second longer than normal to let David up. Everything Simon did was taking a second longer lately. He felt like he was moving through a fog for the past six days. He followed a normal routine. Got up, ate his meals, did his studies, did his training, went to sleep, then repeat. Simple enough. But the world was murky, unreal, so unbelievably distant. Simon was just...numb. And he would hate it, if he felt anything at all.

David stood straight and sheathed his sword. “Good work, Simon.”

“Thank you, sir,” he replied mechanically.

“Have you been training more?”

“No, sir.” A lie, but Simon didn’t want to explain his extra training to David. Besides, lying was apparently part of who he was. Why not embrace it?

“Hm, well, you’re doing alright. If you put as much effort into your policy readings and magic as you did your sword work, you’d be the perfect heir.”

It was typical David. A derision disguised as a compliment. Simon might be hurt on any other day. Today, he just nodded as he sheathed his own sword.

“How is your magic going?” David asked.

“It’s the same,” Simon replied. Which was probably not a lie. He hadn’t tried to do any magic in days, but it was most likely still the same level of terrible.

“Well, there’s always room for improvement. Why don’t we practice your fire magic? You’ve always been weak in that area. Go put away your sword and get your wand.”

“Okay.”

Simon’s journey to his room happened in snapshots. He was in the training ring, then the stairway, then his room. He barely registered moving from one place to the other. That had been happening to him a lot since the horrible night. Simon was too out of it to notice a lot of life as it passed him by.

His room was even more of a mess than usual. He didn’t care enough to fix it, but now it was coming back to bite him in the arse. Because now Simon had to sort through the sea of clothing and midnight snack leftovers for a tiny bone stick. Simon almost felt annoyed. He threw clothes about, scone crumbs falling down on him like rain. Some would probably get in his hair, but that wasn’t unusual for him. He casually looked, lazily tossing things about. Piles were put into different piles. Things were kicked into corners. The floor was slowly cleared.

But there was no wand. And Simon started to feel something for the first time in days; panic.

He threw everything around again, but far more frantically. It was like a tornado flew through his room. He looked through everything three times, but still no fucking wand. Eventually there was no more places to look. Simon was sweating and hyperventilating. Where the hell else could it be? Simon thought. He eyes fell to ground, and soon locked on a piece of fabric. His breath hitched. It was the strap of his rucksack.

Simon hadn’t touched the bag since his last night at the lake. Looking at it was painful enough. He feared touching it would physically burn. Except now he didn’t have a choice. He knew he tended to stick everything in there. And a wand counted as “everything." With a shaking hand, he grabbed the backpack. It didn’t burn, though a pit did form in his stomach that threatened to eat him whole. The memories almost brought tears to his eyes again. He still opened the bag anyway.

There were the usual things that never left the bag, like his dagger and a spare shirt in case his got dirty. There was also the copy of Swan Lake he’d borrowed from Canterbury, and a now very old sour cherry scone, both pathetic peace offerings to Baz that he never even got the chance to take out. He carefully took the scone out as to not get more crumbs all over his stuff. Once everything was taken out piece by piece, Simon’s eyes went wide.

As if life didn’t have it in for him already, things were only worse. There was no wand in his bag. But there was a small hole, just the exact size of a stupid bone stick.

Simon remembered the way he snatched his bag and ran from the lake. How it jostled and everything rattled around. How easy it would have been for his wand to slip out of that hole while he was stomping away crying from the man he might be in love with.

Simon’s wand was in the lake. Where Baz was. And Baz never wanted to see Simon ever again. But Simon needed his wand.

Fuck.

“Simon? What’s taking so long?”

David’s voice was close. Simon inhaled sharply, then threw his blanket over his stuff. He didn’t need David asking questions. It was just in time, as David walked in the next second without knocking. They stared at each other for a long moment. Simon hoped David didn’t see the panic in his eyes.

“What’s going on?” he asked slowly.

“N-Nothing,” Simon said. “I was just...uh...” Looking for the wand I left in the secret hiding place where the probable love of my life who hates me lives, his brain oh so helpfully supplied. Like he could even say anything like that to David. “I-I’m just thinking...could we, uh, leave the magic training until tomorrow? My arms are tired from swords, and I’m not sure I could even lift a wand right now.”

He chuckled, trying to laugh it off, which was futile with David. His eyes narrowed on Simon, arms crossed over his chest. “Oh really?”

Simon rubbed the back of his neck. “Um, yeah. W-Would that be okay? We’ve been training a lot. I could use a break.”

David’s eyes got even smaller. “There are no breaks in ruling, Simon, I’ve told you this.”

“I-I know, I just, I’ve been doing well. Maybe...I could take just one afternoon off?”

David stared at him for a long time. Simon’s pulse was beating in his ears. He silently prayed that David would be accommodating for once in his goddamn life. And thankfully, his prayers were answered.

“Very well,” he sighed. “You have been working hard. You may take the afternoon off.”

Simon let out a breath. “Thank you, Sir.”

David nodded curtly. “Rest well, Simon.”

He turned around and walked briskly out of the room. Simon let the muscles in his arms relax, head hanging between his shoulders. One fight down, one more to go. Simon would have to return to the lake tonight. The idea of that filled him with so much dread, so much anxiety, and just the tiniest, most minuscule sliver of hope. It had been days. Maybe Baz was ready to talk. Maybe they could fix things.

It was strange to feel such a mix of emotion after days of nothing. It was overwhelming, but Simon could cope. Because he could go see Baz. Even if he still hated Simon, Simon might see Baz's face again.

That was the only thing he was looking forward to in almost a week.

———————————————

Simon first worried he might have forgotten how to get to Baz’s lake. But the second he reached the edge of the Forbidden Lands, it was pure muscle memory. His feet knew the exact route through the treacherous wood. He didn’t bring his sword or dagger in a show of peace, so he hoped nothing was going to jump out at him. All he had in his bag was Swan Lake and a new scone, a second attempt at a pathetic peace offering. He hoped it was enough. It wouldn’t be, but Simon desperately wanted to hope.

He got closer and closer to the invisibility shield. His pulse increased with every step. Simon soon reached the three white birch trees that signaled his usual entrance. He took a deep breath to steady his nerves, and-

Wait. Was that...smoke?

There was a smell of smoke. And it was coming from just ahead.

For the second time that day, Simon started to panic.

His body went into autopilot. Simon’s feet flew like a wind, and he soon fell off the invisible cliff into the invisible lake. His magic somewhat cushioned his impact. But it didn’t cover up the black smoke all around him, or the flames licking at his heels.

It was all on fire. Almost the entire lake was engulfed in flames. Simon coughed and covered his mouth. His eyes were watering from the heat. This was literally his worst nightmare brought to life, and somehow so much worse.

“Baz!?” he yelled. “Baz!”

There was no response, but the fire was so loud that Baz might be able to hear him. Or Baz was already dead. Simon wasn’t going to think about that.

Simon shielded his eyes and walked forward. He did his best to clear the flames away with his magic, but the path in front of him was still burning. His watery eyes scanned the area. He saw the scorched grass, and flames reaching the cottage, and finally the flash of black hair under a tree. Simon ran towards the tree, fire be damned.

“Baz!” he shouted.

Baz was sitting under the burning tree, knees to his chest and face hidden. Just as Simon got close, Baz lifted his head. He blinked his puffy eyes at Simon. His cheeks were tear streaked, but Simon had a feeling they weren’t from the heat of the fire.

“Simon?” he said weakly. “Is that really you? I’m not dreaming?”

Simon stood in front of Baz, breathing heavily. “Yeah, yeah it’s me. What the hell is going on?! Why is everything on fire?!”

Baz’s face fell even more. With a weak hand, he lifted up something from behind his leg. Simon’s eyes went wide. It was his wand. And when Baz held it, it spit fire out in a weak sputter.

“You left this,” Baz said weakly. “I found it a few days ago. I picked it up tonight, and just...thought about how mad I was. Then fire started coming out. I couldn’t stop it no matter how hard I tried, and I couldn’t put it out. But then I thought, ‘what’s the point?’”

Simon dropped his sack and went to his knees in front of Baz. He wanted to touch Baz, but he still wasn’t sure if he was allowed. “No, Baz, d-don’t say that. There’s a point! There always is!”

Baz didn’t snap or fight. It seemed all the fight was drained out of him. He pulled in on himself even more. “No, not this time.” Fresh tears fell down his face. His mouth quavered. “I really forgot how horrible it was, to be alone and cursed with no chance of freedom. And I...I can’t live like that again. I’d rather  burn."

He tried to spit the last word, but it came out more like a choked sob. Simon’s heart had dead for almost a week, but it was most certainly alive now, and it was splintering in two. He shuffled forward, needing to be closer to Baz.

“No, Baz, please don’t say that,” he said desperately.

“It’s true,” Baz muttered. “You were my last chance at escape, and I pushed you away. You’re probably just here to get your wand.” He waved it weakly, making it dribble more fire.

Simon gulped, because he couldn’t deny it. But that wasn’t important anymore. He put his hands on Baz’s knees. He didn’t care if he was allowed, he just needed Baz to know he wasn’t alone.

“Baz, you didn’t push me away. I’m right here.”

“Why?!” It wasn’t an accusation, but a plea. Baz’s teary eyes were round with sadness and bewilderment. “Why would you ever want to be here with me again? I said such horrible things. I hurt you and pretended not to care. You should hate me!”

“I don’t! I forgive you! I-I hurt you too, and I’m sorry as well!” Simon’s voice was strained and desperate, but he truly meant it. He forgave Baz instantly. None of what happened before even mattered anymore at the moment. Now he just didn’t want to lose him for good.

But the look on Baz’s face said he didn’t believe him. “I’m sorry, Simon, I-I just, I can’t live like this anymore.”

He let his head fall forward onto his knees, his entire body shaking. The flames were crawling towards him. Simon’s heart raced and ached. He thought of Swan Lake, of Odette and Siegfried, of the word written on that last page.

I won’t let our story end like theirs, Simon thought.

He reached forward, grabbed Baz’s head, and tilted his face up. Simon looked straight into Baz’s blood shot grey eyes and refused to look anywhere else.

“Baz,” he said firmly, “you deserve to live. No matter how messed up everything is now, you should live, because you’re important. And you will escape this place, I promise, okay?” He leaned even closer. “I’ve never turned my back on you before. I’m not starting now.”

Baz tried to jerk away, but Simon refused to let go. He never wanted to let Baz go again.

“Simon...” Baz said, somewhere between a sob and a plea. He looked like was about to say something, something that would inevitably destroy Simon’s heart again.

So Simon kissed him.

Simon had thought so much about kissing Baz since the festival. Almost too much. How it would happen, when it would happen, how Baz’s mouth would feel pressed to his. Even after their falling out, a piece of his mind still fantasized about how they could have kissed if Simon hadn’t ruined everything. But here they were, under a tree, with the world burning down around them, nothing like how Simon imagined. And it was still incredible.

Baz’s lips were cold, colder than Simon remembered Agatha’s being. And they were soft. Simon had slept on silk sheets rougher than Baz’s mouth. It was an astounding, wonderful, life changing, world shaking revelation that he felt so ecstatic to know. He pressed hard against Baz, pushing him against the tree and holding his head in place. Baz gasped in surprise, and Simon wondered if he was about to get shoved into the flames. But then Baz pushed back, trying to match Simon’s furious, desperate movements with all his might. Simon felt instant relief. He held Baz tighter, kissed him harder, trying to push all his feelings in desires through his mouth. Lips slid together, panting breaths exchanged. Baz eventually relaxed somewhat, letting Simon shove him against the rough bark. Letting Simon just snog him for all he was worth.

Their mouths fit together so perfectly, like a key turning in it’s lock. And it opened so many doors in Simon’s mind. He knew the second his lips touched Baz’s that this was all he needed. Baz, not suffering, not in pain, just safe here in his arms, the two of them kissing so hard they forgot their lives. Simon would gladly die kissing Baz.

Simon’s eyes flew open. The flames were still licking at his feet. They were dangerously close to Baz. No, he couldn’t die kissing Baz. Because he refused to let Baz die.

Simon ripped their mouths apart. Both men were breathing heavily, half from the snogging, half from the copious amount of smoke in the air. Baz’s eyes were still half lidded and his cheeks were very flushed. He looked like a dream. Simon wanted to stare at him, but he couldn’t right now. He reached besides Baz and snatched his wand, then turned to the roaring flames.

“Out with thine flames!” he shouted. One fire went out, but it quickly re-lit. Simon growled. “Extinguish!” Still nothing. The magic was jamming up in Simon’s arm and fizzling out. His heart was beating so hard. He was going to die. Baz was going to die. He couldn’t let that happen.

Suddenly, cool fingers wrapped around Simon’s hand. He turned his head, and Baz’s eyes met his. They weren’t sad anymore. They were determined, strong, as fiery as the trees burned around them. He deftly plucked the wand from Simon’s hand, and pointed it over Simon’s shoulder.

"Out with thine flames!” he shouted, voice dripping with magic. Half the fire went out, but some stuff still burned. Baz tried again but the fire was unchanged.

Simon’s worry peaked again. Instinctively, he put a hand on Baz’s chest. Suddenly, he felt his magic somehow...push into Baz. It rushed like a roaring river into the other boy. Baz gasped. He looked at Simon, mouth hanging open. Simon’s breath was heavy. This was supposed to be impossible. But so much about both of them was already impossible. Why not this too?

“Try again” Simon said, voice strained but clear.

Baz nodded. He pointed the wand again, and shouted, “out with thine flames!”

His voice was thunder, more powerful than his captor’s. The fire went out with a rush of air so sudden Simon’s ears popped. Most of the ground was charred black and smoking. The cloaked man wouldn’t like this. It needed to be fixed. Simon looked at Baz again.

“Say, ‘as you were.’”

Baz’s brow furrowed. “What?”

Simon pushed more of his magic into Baz. Baz inhaled sharply. “Trust me, just say it.”

Baz, still breathing heavily, nodded. He pointed the wand. “As you were!”

One boom later, and it was all gone. Everything was returned to normal. It was like the fire had never been there in the first place. The grass was green and lush again, the trees completely unscathed. The lake was once again a beautiful prison of a sparkling blue water and strange floating lights. Simon let out a sigh of relief. Baz wouldn’t get in trouble with his horrific captor. Baz wouldn’t be burned to ash. Baz was safe.

Simon turned back to Baz. Baz was breathing hard, eyes wider than saucer plates, and arm still ramrod straight. Simon quickly realised he was still pushing magic into Baz. He removed his hand, and Baz’s arm fell as he let out a long sigh. The wand rolled on the ground. Baz’s eyes were slits. His chest slowly rose and fell, neatly matching Simon’s own. It took many moments before he founds words again.

“You’re a mage,” he whispered. Baz nodded weakly. “You can control my magic.” Baz nodded again. “H-How?! That’s not possible. You- You’re, how can you-”

Baz sighed, then grabbed Simon’s collar. Before he knew it, their mouths were crushed together again. Simon inhaled sharply, but didn’t move away.

Instead, he kissed Baz back with all he had. Just like he wanted.

———————————————

Simon wasn’t sure how long they spent sitting under that tree, holding Baz’s face, kissing him. It could’ve been minutes, hours, years, who knew. Time stretched into a meaningless infinity when Simon was kissing Baz. He still had a tight grip on Simon’s collar, lips moving furiously, obviously having no clue how to kiss. Simon didn’t mind. He just didn’t want to stop. Baz’s eyes were squeezed shut. Simon didn’t know if he was in pain or trying to shut the world out. He hoped it was the latter. He wanted to shut the world out too. He wanted it to just be the two of them forever.

There were so many things he wanted to do with Baz. Like this; he pushed his hand through Baz’s hair. The smooth strands slipped through his fingers, just like he thought they would. He clenched his fist to better shove Baz’s face into his. Baz inhaled through his nose, then suddenly pulled back.

“Sorry,” Simon said. (He was out of breath. It was embarrassing.)

“No,” Baz sighed, “it’s alright. We should just...” He sighed and ran a hand over his face. “Everything isn’t on fire anymore, so we should talk.”

Simon felt the lump form in his throat. Part of him knew he shouldn’t be worried. Baz said he felt bad about what he said, he had kissed Simon back. But Simon was still scared. He felt like he’d just gotten Baz back. He didn’t want to lose him again.

But he nodded anyway. “Okay. Just, right here?”

Baz stretched his neck and rubbed his head. “No, this tree is very uncomfortable. Let’s sit against the cottage.”

“Okay.”

Simon stood up, but his legs were shaky. He used one arm to balance against the tree for a moment. Baz grabbed his elbow, keeping him steady. The lump in his throat lessened somewhat. His eyes flicked up to Baz, a small smile on his lips. Baz returned it. And Simon felt warmer than he had in a week.

They walked together to the now unscorched cottage, loosely holding hands. Both sat down together, shoulders against the wood, bodies turned towards each other. A long silence stretched out. Simon stared at their touching hands. At Baz’s fine bones and long fingers. He missed this. Not just holding Baz’s hand, but having him close. He felt better with Baz next to him. He meant what he said to Penelope. Here, holding Baz’s hand, he felt so real.

“Hi,” he said, almost wistfully.

Baz chuckled under his breath. “Hello,” he said.

“I-It’s been awhile.”

“I know.”

Simon gripped him a bit tighter. “I’m sorry,” he blurted out. “I’m sorry. For not telling you, about being a prince. And for what I said, when I left. I don’t want you to be alone. I never want you to be alone, I-I was just being stupid and pissed and that’s not excuse but I-”

“Hey,” Baz placed a hand on his upper arm, thumb sweeping over his skin, “it’s alright, I accept your apology. I just...” He sighed and lifted his head to meet Simon’s eyes. He looked both sad and confused. “Why didn’t you tell me? I would’ve understood. At least, I would’ve tried to.”

“I-I know. Well, I know now.”

Baz mouth tensed for a moment. “Did you think I’d tell my captor? I wouldn’t have. I never would’ve.”

Simon shook his head vigorously. “No no, not like. I trust you, Baz, I never thought you would do that. Honestly,” Simon sighed, “it was really selfish. I just hate the way people treat me as a prince. Like I’ll smack them if they don’t call me ‘your highness’. Even my friends talk about my royal duties a lot. But you...you never had to know. I could forget I was a prince and just...be myself with you.” He groaned and rubbed his forehead. “I’m sorry, it was stupid. I should’ve told you. You wouldn’t have treated me like that. I was just a coward.”

Baz put both hands over Simon’s. Their eyes met again. Baz didn’t look sad or confused anymore. He looked sympathetic, a small smile on his face, and Simon let out a breath.

“I understand,” he whispered. “It was a bad choice, don’t be mistaken. You should’ve told me. But I understand why. And your reason is better than what I assumed.” His face fell, but this time, he looked ashamed. “If we’re trading apologies, I’m sorry too, Simon. I was horrible to you, and you didn’t deserve that. I didn’t mean what I said. I don’t think you lied about your childhood, or were trying to trick me, or using me for fun. And I certainly shouldn’t have dismissed all the horrible things you went through. I felt hurt and I lashed out. Which is not an excuse either. I’m so, so sorry.”

Simon shifted closer, his knees touching Baz’s. “I understand. I forgive you too.”

Baz let out a very relieved breath, all the tension leaving his face. The air suddenly felt less heavy, and not just because the fire was gone. Simon smiled weakly at Baz.

“You’re sorry, I’m sorry,” he sighed over dramatically. “What a pair of sorry messes we are.”

That made Baz laugh. Just a small, breathy giggle mostly out of his nose. But it was everything. It made Simon grin and chuckle as well. Their forehead fell forward, pressed against each other. They laughed together in the small space between them. Simon reached up and cupped the back of Baz’s neck. Baz gasped and his eyes flew open. Simon immediately moved his hand off.

“Sorr-”

“No,” Baz breathed out. “No, it’s fine. Just...” His eyes flicked down, red spreading on his cheeks. “No one has ever touched me there, or like...that. Affectionately. Romantically...”

Simon’s own face flushed. He knew Baz was inexperienced, what with being imprisoned alone for years and all, but it was another thing to see him like this; looking down all blushy, being so adorably innocent. It made Simon smile so hard his cheeks hurt.

“Is it okay if I do?” Simon whispered.

Baz bit his bottom lip and nodded. So Simon slowly moved back towards Baz’s neck. He touched him again, finger by finger, until he was holding him again. Baz’s eyes fluttered shut and he let out a long sigh. Simon closed his own eyes, letting himself sink into the feeling. Baz’s skin was tepid, and strangely smooth for someone who lived in the woods. Simon found that amusing. Black bristles of hair tickled his fingers. He ran his thumb over Baz’s sharp cheekbone. Baz squeezed his wrist. They sat like that for a long time, simply breathing each other in.

“I like this,” Simon said quietly, when he had the confidence to. “What we’re doing right now, I like it. And I...I liked kissing you too. A lot”

Baz giggled, breath ghosting over Simon’s skin. “So you didn’t just kiss me to get me out of my suicidal funk?”

He meant it as a joke, but Simon didn’t want it to be a joke. It was horrible. He held Baz’s neck tighter, shaking his head against Baz’s. “No, it wasn't that. I really wanted to. I’ve wanted to since the festival.”

Baz’s breath audibly hitched. He squeezed Simon’s wrist. Their noses brushed, sending sparks through Simon’s nerves. “So have I. Maybe even longer.” Baz moved his hand further up Simon’s arm. “And I like what we’re doing too.”

He said it, but Baz’s voice was slightly strained. Simon pulled back so he could see his face. Baz was half smiling, but his eyes looked pained. And Simon immediately knew there was something else tumbling around in his big brain.

“But...?” he said.

Baz sighed, using one hand to push hair from his face. “But, I’m still stuck here, indefinitely. If we do...this, being together, you’re tying yourself to someone who’s cursed. Wouldn’t you rather be with someone more normal?”

Simon let out a disbelieving laugh. He couldn’t help it. Baz’s brow furrowed, his mouth pulling into a frown. Simon beamed at him, rubbing Baz’s neck slowly.

“Baz,” he said firmly, “you don’t have to worry about that. I don’t want to be with anyone else. Because you’re one of the only, sometimes the only person that I feel normal with.”

The pain went away from Baz’s face in an instant, replaced with a relaxed smile. He squeezed Simon’s forearm. “That, is the most eloquent thing you’ve ever said.”

Simon laughed again, and Baz quickly followed. Their foreheads tapped again. Simon’s hand moved across Baz’s face, ending with his thumb pressing just under his lower lip. The giggling immediately stopped. The air was heavy again, but with something different, something better.

“Can I kiss you again?” Simon asked before he lost his nerve.

“Yes,” Baz said immediately. “And you...you don’t have to ask. You just...can.”

Simon grinned, and leaned forward to kiss him. It wasn’t frantic this time. It was slow, languid. Of course Simon knew that Baz had never kissed anyone before, but it was a bit more obvious when they kissed slowly like this. He was hesitant and exploratory, trying to figure out what to do in the same methodical way he approached sword fighting. And like sword fighting, along with everything else he did, he quickly figured it out. He tilted his head just right, learned to slot his lips perfectly with Simon’s, and soon his movements became so confident it was like he’d been kissing Simon for a lifetime. Simon would happily have a lifetime of kissing Baz.

Once breath was scare, they pulled apart. Of course, that was when Simon yawned.

“You tired, Simon?” he teased.

“Fuck off,” Simon grumbled. “I was training all day then I had to stay up to come here.”

“Aw, you poor sleepy angel.”

Simon shoved Baz’s shoulder. Baz snickered and grabbed his hand. When he pressed his lips to back of it, Simon’s flush went down to his neck. Baz smirked. The bastard knew exactly what he was doing. It was a relief to have their usual camaraderie back though.

“C’mon,” Baz said, tugging Simon to his feet. “You need sleep.”

Simon pouted, too tired to feel ashamed. “I want to spend time with you. I haven’t seen you in a week.”

Baz’s lip quirked up. “That’s very sweet, Simon, but you won’t have much fun when you’re exhausted.”

“I always have fun with you though.”

Baz sighed, exasperated but amused. “As do I. But you still need to sleep. So how about you sleep tonight, and we’ll have fun the next time you’re here, alright?”

Simon considered arguing more, but Baz had a point. And there was no point arguing with him. He was just as stubborn Simon. It was annoying and amazing. Simon couldn’t have found someone better for him.

“Okay,” Simon sighed. “As long as you help me up.”

Baz’s small smile turned into a beaming grin. “Gladly, love.”

He tugged Simon to his feet, and even let Simon fall against him, strong lean arms wrapped around his back and holding him up. Baz brought them both into the cottage and gently shut the door behind them. The cot was pristine again. (Vera must’ve taught Baz to make a bed well.) Baz pulled back the thick quilt. Simon collapsed on the cot instantly, sleep permeating his bones and mind. He let his eyes slide shut. Distantly, he heard Baz kneel next to him, pulling the blanket over his body with a free hand. Simon felt Baz’s cool lips be pressed to his forehead. He shuddered. Before tonight, no one had ever kissed Simon anywhere except his mouth. It seemed both of them were experiencing new things tonight.

“Goodnight, Simon,” he said softly, then started to stand up.

“Mm, no,” Simon whined and tugged on Baz’s hand. “Stay.”

Baz inhaled sharply. “I don’t usually sleep during the night...”

“Don’t care. Just want you to stay.” He tugged again. “Please?”

Simon could almost hear Baz thinking up there. He waited for what felt like an eternity, trying to resist sleep. But then he felt the blanket push back and the cot dip. He smiled and let go of Baz’s hand, but only so he could place it over his heart. It was beating wildly against Simon’s palm. There was a tiny bit of space between them, Baz’s arm resting lamely between them, and it felt too far away.

“You can touch me,” Simon said. “I don’t mind.”

Baz audibly gulped. “I, uh, I don’t know how.”

Simon laughed under his breath. He grabbed Baz’s arm and laid it across his side. He pulled him even closer, so Simon’s nose was almost against his chest. Baz was still hesitant, but he left his arm where it was. Simon traced a finger over his collarbone, touching the edge of his cotton shirt, brushing against his delicate silver chain. Bit by bit, Baz’s arm held him tighter, fingers pressing into his back.

“G’night.” Simon almost added “I love you” to that, but there had been enough excitement for tonight. He would save those words for another time.

Baz pressed his nose into Simon’s hair. “Sweet dreams, Simon.”

And when Simon drifted off, his dreams were undistinguished, but they were made of light and happiness and warmth.

———————————————

Waking up next to Baz was infinitely different than any other way Simon had ever woken up. He felt it all come into focus one by one. Baz’s arm on his side, his nose in his hair, their legs pressed against each other. It was like there was a wall between him and the outside world. Nothing could touch them. Simon didn’t want anything to touch them. He wanted Baz forever.

Simon sighed and gripped his shirt. Baz’s arm squeezed him.

“Good morning,” Baz said into his hair.

Simon pulled back to see Baz’s face. His eyes were half lidded, a small smile on his mouth. He looked like someone on the verge of drifting off.

“Did you sleep?” Simon asked.

Baz shook his head. “No. I told you, I don’t sleep at night.”

“So what, you’ve just been watching me sleep?”

“Maybe.”

Simon frowned sarcastically. “Creeper.”

Baz chuckled, pressing a kiss to Simon’s temple, and Simon all but melted into the cot. He was so happy. He never thought he could be this happy. And from the look on Baz’s face, he was too.

He pushed a curl from Simon’s forehead and sighed heavily. There was clearly something on his mind.

“What is it?” Simon asked.

Baz gently cupped Simon’s face, and Simon leaned into it. “I’m just realising, I never thought I could hate this curse anymore than I already do. But I do now.”

Simon’s brows pulled together. “Why?”

“Because,” he sighed, running his thumb just under Simon’s  eye, “the sun’s about to come up. And once it does, I won’t be able to stay here holding you anymore.”

Simon’s entire face turned tomato red. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. No words felt sufficient for the supernova exploding in his chest. Baz chuckled.

“Cat got your tongue, Simon?”

“Shut up,” he mumbled.

Baz kept laughing, so Simon grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him down until their mouths met. Baz gasped, but quickly melted into it. His fingers were splayed against Simon’s cheek, his other hand against the small of his back. They kissed slowly, peacefully, like they had all the time in the world.

But unfortunately, the sun was coming up.

Simon pulled away with a small sigh. He looked out the small window to see the dark orange sky. He instinctively held Baz tighter.

“I have to go soon,” Baz said, voice breaking slightly.

“I know. But I’ll be back, and so will you. And...” Simon’s mind drifted back his rucksack outside, with the scone and the book. The book that might hold the key to Baz’s freedom. “And I found something out west that might really help with your curse. I’ll leave it here. You can read it tonight, if you want.”

Baz looked unsure, but he nodded anyway. “Okay. I’ll take a look.”

“Good, good.” He looked to the window again. The sun was getting closer to the horizon. The glow around Baz’s body started to show. Their time tonight was almost up. Simon’s gripped Baz’s hand tightly. He didn’t want to let go, not yet. “Um, I know you don’t like it when I see you as a swan, but...would it be okay if I stayed? For a bit? I-I’ll go when you’re asleep. I just, I want to stay with you for a little longer...”

Baz was quiet for a long moment, longer than was probably appropriate for the amount of time they had. His glow was getting worse. Simon didn’t let go of his hand, and neither did Baz.

“Okay,” he said, voice strained. “Just, stay in here until after the sun rises please?”

Simon nodded vigorously. “Yeah, yeah, of course.”

His grey eyes became unbelievably soft. He pressed a last kiss to his lips. When he pulled back, Simon chased his mouth, but Baz put a hand to his chest to keep him back. Simon let himself be pushed him back onto the cot. Baz stood up and walked to the door. His entire body was lit up now, minutes from changing. But he still took a second to look at Simon one more time. Simon smiled at him, and Baz smiled back just before he closed the door.

Simon flopped back on the bed, hand over his thundering chest. He needed a moment to catch his breath. So much had happened in less than twenty four hours. He and Baz were okay now. More than okay, they were together. Together in a way that involved soft words and kissing and everything Simon didn’t know he desperately wanted until Baz. Simon was grinning, he couldn’t stop grinning. He knew their problems weren’t over, but at least they had this. No matter what happened, they would have this.

The sunlight bled in through the window. Simon felt it was safe to get up. He slowly opened the cottage door, and opened it all the way when he saw the lake’s shore. Baz was sitting next to it, wings pulled in, neck still stretched up. His clothes were in a neat pile next to the door. Even though he had permission, Simon still walked toward him cautiously. Baz didn’t hop or fly away, so he took that as a good sign. He sat just next to Baz, knees pulled up and one hand on the ground between them.

“Uh, hi,” Simon said. “I-I don’t know what to say now, since you can’t really respond. With words...” Baz let out a series of little honks, which Simon assumed was the swan equivalent of a chuckle. Simon laughed and scooched closer. “Yeah, yeah, shut up.” He leaned even closer, but still kept a reasonable distance “I know you want to sleep, I won’t keep you up. I just, I wanted to do this because I want you to know that I...care about you no matter what. Swan or human. If that makes sense.”

He looked down. But it was hard to read Baz’s emotions when he was a swan. Simon was worried. Baz could see it completely differently. He didn’t like being a swan, maybe he didn’t want Simon to care for him at all like this, because he didn’t care for himself like this. But Simon did, and he wanted Baz to know.

He scratched at the back of his neck. “Can I, um, can I touch you?”

Baz’s eyes met his. It was still that deep sea grey. No matter what form, his eyes were gorgeous. He nodded his small bird head once, and Simon let out a sigh of relief. Simon placed a hand between his wings, just laying it on his black feathers and silver chain. He didn’t pet Baz though. That felt rude. Baz wasn’t a wild animal, and Simon wouldn’t treat him like one. And Baz seemed content. He curled his neck around and placed his head on Simon’s hand, eyes sliding shut. Simon’s heart felt so full it was painful.

In that moment, he made a promise to himself; he was never going to lose Baz ever again.

———————————————

AN: Aw, aren't they cute? :) Yeah, I can't keep them apart for too long. Next chapter is the longest one in the fic, I think, and the knight and warlock fic is still in the works (that's going slowly because of my headaches unfortunately) so look forward to those! Hope you enjoyed this :D

[theprojectatedensgate]

19. “I wouldn’t want you messing up your hair.” John/Dep

“I wouldn’t want you messing up you hair.”

John raised his hands in defence, his posture shifting so that he was stood to attention, the barrel of Dep’s gun pointed straight at his chest. His eyes narrowed at the Deputy as he struggled to take in what they said.

“What?!” he hissed, careful not to move suddenly or come across too hostile, this was a bad situation. He was caught out in the open and he looked ridiculous being held up this way. It was embarrassing enough having a gun pointed at him when he couldn’t reach his own, but the fact it was the Deputy? The one who had being causing so much grief? This couldn’t possibly get any worse. Or better, every situation he got involved with the Deputy in, provided him with a fulfilment of cat and mouse. 

“Did I stutter? I wouldn’t want you messing up your hair! If you make a move I’m gonna’ have to put a bullet in you and that would mess up your hair.” Rook explained calmly, “And knowing you, you probably spent a lot of time on it. How long does it take you in the morning John? what, ten, twenty minutes? What complete waste of time that would be huh?” Rook couldn’t help but chuckle at it all. They could mock John all they wanted and he couldn’t do shit.

John’s mouth hung open in speechlessness. He didn’t think he had ever been more surprised or offended in his life. He was certainly a lot quicker than twenty minutes, twelve at a push. And he put a lot effort into his hair, his ego was bruised. 

“Leave my hair out of this. Now there must be something you want otherwise you would of shot me by now. Just tell me so I can just leave.”

“Hmm, not necessarily… Perhaps it’s just nice for the roles to switch you know? You always get to threaten me, and do scary shit and I want a turn.”. John scowled at that, like his authority was being questioned.

“I serve the will of the Father. All I’m doing is trying to save your soul, Deputy. Even if you resist. The ones who deny the project are most in need of it’s salvation. And I will pass no judgement on you… No matter how messy it gets.” His lips tugged into a grin at his defence. “All you have to say is Yes.” 

Rook rolled their eyes. “Oh just cut the bullshit John. I hear this all the time, even when you staring down the hole of silver death, you still tell me to say yes.” They laughed lightly “You’re unbelievable.”. John’s eyes never strayed from Rook or the barrel, scanning over them and searching for any possible weakness. if they moved just a little or looked away at the right moment, he could pounce and over power them. 

“I’m giving you every chance Deputy, you could-”

“No John you don’t get to make the demands right now remember?” Rook interrupted him, and rage flashed in his blue eyes. “The one behind the gun tends to have the upper hand.” Deputy looked John over and he felt vulnerable under their gaze, the hemmed and hawed to themselves, thinking about what they wanted out of this. They could humiliate him? They could just kill him and be done with it, but where was the fun in that? Then the idea lit up in their head. “Give three reasons, why I shouldn’t just pull the trigger and let you bleed.” Rook’s teeth gritted together at the last syllable, their grip on the handle increased. 

A million and one thoughts rushed through John’s mind. Why should he have to prove himself to them? He knew why he should live, people needed saving. There were so many atonement’s to complete and sins to absolve. The Project wouldn’t last without him, the sinners would win. But that didn’t matter to The Deputy, they weren’t part of Edens Gate. They needed a reason unique to them, but had anyone asked John’s opinion of them, he would’ve said that they were a “reckless soul, lost to sin”. That they were selfish and wrathful and full of Pride. They were so consumed by their hatred and ignorance of the Lord that they only existed to cause misery. That’s what he would say to everyone, but what about to himself? In truth, The Deputy provided him with a sense of fulfilment, to purge Hope County of the wrath of the Rookie? He jumped at the chance.  But they always missed his shots causing him to twist and turn after them in a dangerous game of cat and mouse. Eventually, John realised that they were all he thought about, constantly planning new ways to force a confession. He became obsessed with them, he couldn’t control them and he hated it, he was so used to people doing what he wanted. The fact that they refused him? He resented them for it. He wanted their confession, he wanted to cleanse them, he wanted to control them. He was fixated on their every movement and his stomach fluttered with tension whenever he saw them. John didn’t understand these feelings, the only person he was used to caring for was himself, he was supposed to hate the Deputy and the hatred was there, but it had evolved into something more intriguing, Fascination.

“I have plenty of reasons why I should live.” He answered arrogantly, sending Dep’ a confident smirk. Rook responded with a delighted grin, looking forward to his explanation. 

“Go ahead.”

“Firstly, I should live because if you shoot me now, that’s a waste of your time, not only that but people will hear the shot, my men will come looking.” Rook looked on with intrigue, nodding and humming at his replies. “Secondly, you’re a police officer, you can’t just shoot people. I haven’t attacked you or caused you harm in anyway, you killing me would be cold blooded murder.” John’s expression turned grim as he spoke, holding a serious tone. “Lastly, I don’t think you could kill me if you wanted to Deputy.”. This caught Rook’s attention, they looked on, wide eyed with surprise.

“And what makes you think I don’t want to?” 

“Because you enjoy this just as much as I do.” John flashed his teeth and his expression darkened. He looked at Rook with desperation but retained a calm exterior, attempting to cover up his uncertainty. Rook’s grinned reached their ears and they giggled to themselves. How could they enjoy anything that involved him? He was the bane of their existence, they would gladly end him for the cause. Wouldn’t they? Dep’s smile was fleeting, as they sunk into deep thought. They thought about a world without John, without his harassment, his constant challenging of Rook, his dramatic flair. John may be unpredictable and dangerous, but the world would surely be boring without him. It wasn’t one they wanted to live in. The game was always the same, John kidnapping them, torturing and keeping them locked away, Rook would manage to escape and he would lose his mind and hunt for them again. The cycle continued. But they did not know of anything else, they had been doing this since they arrived and often found themselves now looking forward to Johns confrontations. Dep’ gained immense satisfaction from pissing him off. 

Rook hesitated, looking into John, searching for something, internally battling themselves in thought. They slowly lowered the gun so the barrel faced the ground. Eye’s not leaving him once, as the tucked it into their thigh holster. A grin with teeth exploded onto John’s face. He had passed their test. He had won. The smugness radiated off of him waves, he moved closing the gap between them and Rook’s hand went for the gun again. He stopped, making a clear boundary and he nodded his head. “See Deputy, I’m right. You want me around don’t you?.”

“I wouldn’t go that far John.” Rook huffed and kicked at the dirt, refusing to meet John’s intense stare. He bit his lip in frustration at their denial. “But, you’re no fun to me dead.” John chuckled and took a step closer before they were near touching. 

“But it is fun for you isn’t it Deputy? You can’t help it, you don’t want to like it but you do. It’s all you want.” He ran his hand around the back of their head and titled it upwards to face him, he wrapped the other tatted hand around their throat, holding them in place. But Rook didn’t move for their gun, it was John’s move after the stunt they just pulled, it was his turn. Their eyes met and they were caught in each others focus. His vision flickered over their face, eventually landing on their lips shortly before moving back up to meet them again. He grip on their throat squeezed before he pulled them flush against him. They were in such shock of John’s actions, they didn’t notice when his hand moved from their head, ran down their spine and reached into his pockets. Before they could react, a sharp, cold sting bit into their flesh on their upper thigh, feeling an icy sensation flood into their veins.  Their vision blurred and white stars danced in the haze, John appeared to fade, but his hold lingered now lowering them gently to the ground. The Deputy lost all their function in their limbs, arms and legs falling limp, pins and needles coursing through their body. John’s hand remained cupping the back of their skull as his other ran over their hair, smoothing it out. He leaned in close, smirk prominent, taking on a whisper.

“Shhh, Deputy. I wouldn’t want you messing up your hair.”

Thanks for requesting! Sorry for the wait!

[shesdreamingofamonster]

EXO (OT12) - Reaction to Things Getting Heated During an Argument ;)

As requested. :)

Minseok:

“Why do you even care” Your voice was stern as you turned around finally facing him after he had been nagging you as you were messing with the clothes in your closet. You had been spending some time with a male friend of yours and he seemed to be getting a bit jealous. You had repeatedly told him it was nothing more than hanging out due to having the same interests and working at the same office. His eyes were filled with anger but not directed towards you, mostly towards your friend. “He is spending too much time with you, what if he doesn’t feel the same way that you do?” Without thinking about your answer too much you blurted out what came to mind immediately, “Is he the one I come home to and sleep with every day? Who cares if he likes me, you are the one I want. No one drives me insane like you do, I mean do you even see how sexy you are upset like this?” You rolled your eyes but noticed the change in his demeanor. The anger in his eyes turned into lust. His rigid frame softened as he walked towards you and brought your lips to his own. The stupid fight forgotten. He wasn’t backing down and you had no desire to retreat, this man was yours and you were his. Just like you were trying to tell him.

Luhan:

“You couldn’t keep quiet for another half an hour?” You and Lu had been out to dinner with some mutual friends. Before you had left, he and you had a small spat about you accidentally washing his white shirts with his red exercise shirts and dying them a light pink color. You hadn’t been feeling very well with a head cold and just wanted to do his laundry for him for when he got home. He just had to bring it up during the dinner, explaining why you were a little late since he had to find something else to wear. “Well that was the reason, it isn’t like I was lying.” You were stumbling into the bedroom, throwing your heels haphazardly on the ground and undoing your hair. “I’m sorry Lu, I tried to help but apparently, I didn’t. I will buy you new shirts, if you don’t want them then I can just take them to sleep in.” That comment caught him off guard. “Oh really? Here. Put this on.” He threw you one of the pink t-shirts that were still in the laundry basket at the end of the bed. You caught it but just look at him confused. “Why now?” He moved closer and wrapped his arms around you, beginning to unzip the back of your dress. “Because I want to see it on you, just my shirt, and then I want to take it off.” The teasing smirk he gave you, and the proximity between your bodies made you shiver. “But I’m sick.” He chuckled into your ear, “There’s plenty of things we can do stuck in bed together.”

Kris/Yifan:

Kris had come home sloppily drunk last night. You knew that he was going out, but he promised to spend some time with you going over your presentation for your class. He was in no condition to do so which left you somewhat unprepared when you presented today. It went alright but you were still upset that he disregarded your plans together. You were sitting on the couch, silently reading when he walked in and sat down beside you, his arms wrapping you up. You didn’t acknowledge him at all and he noticed. “Babe? Something wrong?” You flipped a page as you casually yawned and moved out of his embrace to stand up, placing the book on the end table. His puzzled look indicated that he seemed to have forgotten about his promise to you. “Want anything for dinner?” You asked rummaging in the fridge. He stood up to join you, “Not specifically, but maybe you could use a little less salt.” You turned to glare at him, unamused by his joke. “You forgot about me.” His eyes widened as the memory struck him, “The presentation. I’m sorry baby.” He wrapped his arms around your waist and leaned down so his eyes were almost level with yours. You frowned as he kept apologizing, trying to get you to lighten up. “What can I do to make it up to you?” You looked down at your feet, “I don’t know. I was counting on you, and you were too drunk to care. I had no one else to help me with it, and yours was the only opinion I cared about anyways.” “Well I’m sure you did amazing, I may have creepily listened as you went over it in the bathroom a couple of times.” A smile broke on your face and he couldn’t help but kiss you. You were tired of being mad at him, you loved the giant dork too much. You kissed him back, wanting him to know that he was forgiven. And the kisses didn’t stop. “Maybe we could try a teacher student thing sometime?” “Yifan!!!”

Junmyeon:

You knew that SM liked to have their artists work with each other. It didn’t help when your man had an adoration for a certain group that they tended to spend a lot of time with. They were also unbelievably gorgeous. He came home talking about a project he had to do with the group and your jealousy got the better of you. “Oh goody, you get to spend time with your girlfriends.” You don’t know why you were so bitter but it didn’t seem to be going away at the moment. “Y/N! Come on, don’t be so ridiculous.” You began walking away but he grabbed on to your arm. Not forcibly, but with a slight grip so that you didn’t slip out. “It isn’t ridiculous. You are surrounded by beautiful women all the time while I am just some random college student.” His eyes softened but then turned onto your fiercely. He wasn’t going to prove anything with words. That is why he pushed you against the wall and began kissing down your neck, pushing down your shirt to skim your collar bone. Your breathing hitched, unprepared for his sudden actions. “No more SM. No more saying that you aren’t beautiful. Just shut up and kiss me.”

Yixing:

He had written a song about no longer loving the person you are with anymore. You had discovered the lyrics when cleaning up the notebooks he left opened after working until he couldn’t stay up any longer and decided to go to bed. Most of his songs were very personal to him, and he had never told you about a relationship that ended this way. Which led you to believing it was your own. He returned home from the practice studio to find you laying on your side in the bed. You were facing the door, but rolled over when he entered the room. “Baobei?” You didn’t answer so he climbed on the bed, placing an arm around you and snuggling his face into the crook of your neck. “Are you ignoring me?” There was silence for a minute before you spoke. “That song of yours. I found the lyrics. Does it mean what I think it does?” You rolled over to look him in the eyes. “No. Of course not. It was about some friends I had.” You started crying, not really believing his answer. “Please don’t lie to me.” He wiped the tears away with his hand and pulled you closer. “Y/N. I’m serious. Stop crying. You’ll make me upset too.” You sniffled but couldn’t stop, the fear of losing him had hit you hard. So he kissed away your tears. And when the tears stopped flowing, you didn’t want him to pull away, only to be closer in every way.

Baekhyun:

Baekhyun had his heart broken before. That is why he never wanted to get too close. Always bringing you to the dorms when the boys were around or taking you somewhere with a small group of people. You had been getting irritated with your lack of intimacy. The time spent holding hands or giving small pecks came in small amounts. You wanted more. So, you told him. You met him at the dorms, for the first time no one was around. “Baekhyun, what are we? I feel like you never want to be alone with me. I am always the one suggesting we sneak away.” His jaw jutted out as he tried to think of his reasoning. “You wouldn’t understand.” You let out an exasperated laugh, “That is what I thought. Listen, I can’t do this anymore, I need more than a friend who gives me occasional romance.” You looked up to see the blank expression on his face, but not wanting to see him fall apart, you started to walk away. “Wait.” The urgency in his voice made you pause. “Y/N, please look at me.” Slowly, you turned to see the look of want fill his eyes. “You know how Taeyeon and I ended up?” You nodded, their story was quite famous. Two idols torn apart by the disapproval of fans and their hectic lives. “I don’t want that to happen with you. Believe me, I want more. Every time I see you, every time I touch you. The things that run through my head.” He brought his hand up, dragging his fingertips along the side of your waist. “Do you want me to?” You parted your lips as you moved forward. Guiding his hands to fully grasp your waist on both sides. “Of course, I do.” With that, all of his restraints disappeared.

Jongdae:

Missing your date because practice ran late, that was a bit of an issue. It was the day you had both decided to celebrate your anniversary since he would be on tour when your actual anniversary was. As he walked in you saw the frown on his mouth. “I know you are upset.” His tone was tentative as he looked up. “Well there is no point in talking about it. I’m tired. And you need a shower.” The layer of sweat on his clothing was visible, as well as the slight dampness reflecting in the living room light. You made your way to the bedroom as he followed closely behind. “Please Jagi. I really tried to leave, but the manager just wasn’t having it. The comeback is so close and we need to get everything perfect.” You turned to look at him, raising your eyebrows, before going over to the dresser to change out of your fancier clothing. “I know it isn’t an excuse.” You nodded, “It definitely isn’t, since we had this planned for a while now. This is our three year, it isn’t some small thing.” You grabbed your pj’s and began undressing. Not caring what Dae saw or didn’t see. Your lacy lingerie caught his eye. He threw his bag on the floor and came up behind your mostly undressed form, kissing your neck. “The night isn’t over yet.” He did have a point. You could go out to eat another time. “You stink babe.” He giggled wrapping his arms around your waist. His hands making your bare skin tingle. “A shower does sound nice though,” you grinned as you turned around and kissed him while wrapping your arms around his neck and leading him to the bathroom. 

Chanyeol:

You had convinced Chanyeol to let you borrow his jeep for the day. You had to drive for some distance to go visit an old friend and didn’t want to take the subway or a taxi. You accidentally backed up into a post that was right on the edge of the curb. He had noticed the dent when he was dropped off at your apartment. “Y/N!?” His deep voice radiated throughout the house while you tried to hide yourself in the bedroom. He found you sitting on the bed, hugging your knees. “Care to explain why the hell there is a giant dent in my Jeep?” You pouted as you moved towards him. His angry form towering over your own. “It was an accident. I will fix it, I already called the shop and I can bring it tomorrow.” You pulled him into a hug but it took him a few moments to relax. His anger seemed to have disappeared as his hands began finding their way around your body. He pushed you back to get a good look at you, “You are fine though?” You nodded. “Good, as long as my baby is healthy, then everything is okay.” You grinned and he pressed his lips to your temple, then they found their way to your lips. His hands moving again, but not to check for injuries this time.

Kyungsoo:

Soo was having some actor colleagues over for dinner. The problem was that his practice was taking longer than he thought and he left some of the cooking duties to you. You had placed the meal into the oven on time, but had accidentally fallen asleep while sitting on the couch waiting for the timer to go off. The smell of burning is what woke you up. You sprang into action as you saw the smoke coming from the oven. The food was completely charred. The sound of the door closing is what alerted you to Kyungsoo’s arrival home. “Do I even want to know?” You placed the pan into the sink and opened the windows trying to waft the smoke outside. He turned on the fan and turned off the oven, covering his mouth with a small hand towel. He yelled at you not to breathe it in and go to the other room. Not wanting to make things worse, you did as you were told. Several minutes later he met you in the living room, a mean looking expression on his face. “So…” “I fell asleep, the time went off but I didn’t hear it. I’m so sorry Soo. I know how mice of an impression you wanted to make and I ruined it all.” “How could you fall asleep!?” You didn’t know how to respond, “I don’t know. My eyes just gradually closed and I…” “Just stop. We need to fix this. Is there anything else we could make in this time period?” You rattled off the recipes that you knew and he did the same. Then you both looked over the ingredients that you actually had available in the house. He was in the middle of angrily stirring when he got a message that they would have to reschedule. You were frosting a cake when he read it out loud. As you turned and wiped your hair out of the way, you left some of the sugary paste on your cheek. He walked over and took it off with his thumb, sucking it off afterwards. “Screw this whole thing.” You were a bit confused until he placed a hand behind your neck and kissed you deeply. His lips still tasting like frosting. “We have all night to clean up, you are coming with me.” His hand found yours, pulling you to the hallway leading to your bedroom.

Tao:

You had found your way to watching some fan-cams of your lovely boyfriend online. The most interesting ones were the ‘Adore’ fan-cams, the girl seemed to be Tao’s center of attention during the performances. “Interesting.” You knew the songs, of course you did. He would sing/rap them to you whenever you asked him to. Or if he was away for some time, you would play his CD on repeat. You didn’t realize he was home until his hands landed on your shoulders as he snuck up behind the couch. “And what have we been doing today?” You turned to look at him, giving an unhappy look. “Just watching some videos of you, well you and your background dancers. I think ‘Adore’ is the highlight. “Oh.” He knew that this was going to be a bit of a touchy subject since many of his female background dancers had tried to become more to him than just friends or employees. “Listen, she is a great dancer, that is why we have her. That and only that. Besides, I think she may have a boyfriend.” His words didn’t seem very convincing since due to the quizzical expression on his face. “Mhmm.” You just let him ramble on for some time until he ran out of things to say. “Why wasn’t I informed of this choreography?” He frowned while walking around to the front of the couch kneeling in front of you. “Because I didn’t think it was important. It is just a part of my job. You are much more important.” Now you had him where you wanted him, he usually didn’t get very soft at times like this. “Prove it.” He got up and gently pushed you down on the couch. “Whatever you say.”

Jongin:

He had been working himself too much recently. Not listening to your concerns, he returned home late once again, sweaty and a little sore. You had some fried chicken out on the table for him which he gratefully ate when he settled into the door. You didn’t want to start another argument on the subject but you needed to say something. “Was it just you?” He looked up chewing on a leg piece. “Yeah. Sehun stayed with me for a little bit after the rest of them left, but it was just me for the past two hours.” Why would he listen to his girlfriend, it isn’t like you were looking out for his best interest. “Jongin! We talked about this! It isn’t good for your body.” He was listening, you knew he was. But he didn’t respond for a while as you stared him down. After finishing his last piece of chicken and chugging a glass of water to refuel he looked at you again. “I know.” You waited for more but there was only silence. “Nini, is that all you have to say?” He stood up and pushed the chair back in, “I promise that I will cut down on the rehearsal when the comeback is done. Just give me until then.” You nodded but still glared at him, upset that he doesn’t just take a rest for a day or two. “But you do know what would be good for my body…” He moved to push you back against the fridge, pinning your hands to your sides.

Sehun:

“Could you look a little more enthused?” You were trying to teach your boyfriend something that he couldn’t get the hang of. His manager had mentioned how he would like him to look ‘happier’ during award shows. You said that it is just how Sehun is, there wasn’t really any changing it. But here you were, trying your best to help. “Imagine the camera is on you, what do you do?” His face was completely blank. “Babe?” He rolled his eyes. “I was trying to look fierce.” You giggled but that giggle made him upset. “I really am trying. How can I control my face!” You knew he had resting bitch face, that was part of what made your Sehun, Sehun. You were getting agitated as well. Just cause you were his girlfriend didn’t mean you could, or would want to change him. You had just given up when you snapped back at him. Which for some reason made him bite his lip and smirk. “What was that baby? I like it when you get sassy with me.” He stood up, not caring about the argument or the training any more. His hands finding their way to your waist and pulling you into him, leaning down to press his lips against yours.

Masterlist

[honeybearloco]

“...Company Tonight.”

Requested by an anon. OML my headass got blinded by Minsik’s grill instead of the flashing light. Ion even know wtf is wrong with me.

Lee Gwang Min, your older brother, your best friend, your partner in crime, your role model, your everything. You looked up to your brother for everything. You went to him for advice. You parents always saw your friendship with your brother as trouble, always! 

You only cared and listened to what he had to say. He’d give you his honest opinion on everything and you accepted that. And that’s one reason you loved him. He could never tell a lie, he was always so honest, even if it was hurtful he’d not give a fuck and tell you anyways. 

The older you got, the more protective Gwang Min got. That’s his job as an older brother. To be protective. And when I tell you he was, he really was. Sometimes it would be like he was your hired body guard. His main enemy:

Boys.

You were a very beautiful girl. Meaning guys were everywhere. Most of your friends were guys. You tended to attract male friends. Or in other words, male company. Gwang Min hated all of them. He didn’t even like that Lab Partner who was any thing but cute. He wasn’t the best looking and didn’t even have a good attitude. You hated him too.

But today was going to be different. You begged and begged him to let you meet his crew. The infamous Yelows Mob. He never wanted you to meet them. You were a GROOVYROOM fangirl. You thought Park Gyu Jung was the hottest thing on planet earth. (A/N: 🙄🙄🙄 don’t @ me. Park Gyu Jung is so fine.) 

He just didn’t want his friends hitting on his little sister. I mean, come on. Would you? After about 100 or so attempts to get your brother to let you meet his crew, you decided to try one another way. A way where he can’t say no. 

You were hanging out like you did on most Saturdays. You thought the time was right. “Oppa, can we-”

“You’re not meeting the crew. I’m not going to say it again.” He interrupted you. 

You began to think of something, something tragic. Something you like dying. Tears were forming. He looked at you to see you about to cry. He hated when you cried. Always! Since you were a baby he’s hated when you cried. It was how you got your way as a child. He hated it! He and both of your parents had to do whatever to make you stop crying. You were a spoiled child. You put your head in your hands and sobbed. 

“Don’t be a crybaby, Y/N. I didn’t mean I-”

You sobbed louder to make him feel guilty. 

“UGH! Fine you can meet my crew.” He said. 

You picked your head up and wiped away the tears that fell. “Really, Oppa?” “Yes, if you don’t cry again. Now stop crying or else.”

“Thanks Oppa!” You smiled and hugged him tightly. “Yeah, yeah whatever.” He added, hugging you back.

Today was the day. You had to look your ultimate best. You were just meeting anyone. They were your older brother’s friends yes, but they were famous as well. Not that famous but famous in a way. You had to look like you cared but at the same time you didn’t. It made sense in a way. 

You took about two hours to get ready. Shower, lotions, skin care, getting dressed, makeup. The whole process. Usually it takes less time than that but Gwang Min kept bugging you to hurry up. And you kept telling him it would only slow you down and it did. 

You walked out of the bathroom, in white shorts that fit every curve, a black Harajuku Aesthetics Thrasher Sweater that can put slightly. You could see part of your stomach. And a pair of white converse. To top it all off, you put on a black Antisocial Social Club dad hat. 

He didn’t want to waste anymore time He grabbed your wrist and rushed the other way. After about a 15 minute drive you finally made it to their hangout. You couldn’t hide the smile on your face.

“Wipe the smile off your face and get out of the car.” He said snapping you out of your thoughts. 

You climbed out of the car and shut the door. You took a deep breath and followed Gwang Min like a lost puppy. You didn’t know this place. Finally he opened a door to a room full of men, you assumed it was the crew. You couldn’t really see.  

“YO! It’s Gwang Min! Who’s that behind you?” Sung Min greeted loudly.

“Yeah, she’s kinda cute.” Gyu Jung’s voice sounded.

Your eyes widened slightly as you were screaming inside. “Guys! This is my little sister, Y/N.” 

He stepped the left slightly to make you visible to his crew. You bowed. “Hello.” You said barely audible. 

Min Sik turned around to see the little sister of a good friend of his. But instead he saw something different. He didn’t see a cute girl. Or a hot chick. He saw a beautiful woman, just one having to be related to a good friend of his.

After awhile Gwang Min left you to talk to his friends leaving you, standing in the corner like a loner. Min Sik thought this was the perfect time to introduce himself personally. 

He approached you with a smile. “Hi, I’m Sik K, but you can call me Min Sik.” He greeted.

You were caught in his smile. It was calming. You felt calm and safe talking to him. Min Sik was dear friend of Gwang Min. They were like brothers, you and Min Sik just so happened to never meet. 

“Hello?” 

“Oh, sorry. I j-just, I d-didn’t mean t-to.” You stuttered as your cheeks got redder and hotter. He couldn’t help but smile. He could tell you were embarrassed. “You know, you’re cute when you’re embarrassed.” He admitted. You smiled. 

The both of you got into a deep conversation. You lost track of time. You had a nice time talking to him. Now he was telling the dumbest of pick up lines.

“I know milk does the body good, but baby, tell me how much have you been drinking?” He said.

You chuckled a bit and hit his chest playfully. “Oppa! You’re so cringey! Stop it!”

Gwang Min turned around to see the two of you. He could see how close Min Sik and you really were. You both were about a foot away from each other.

“Min Sik is really going for your sister huh, Gwang Min?” Jae Hoon joked.

“Shut up! He’s just trying to loosen her up a bit. He’s not trying to get with her.”

There was a moment of silence between the two of you after you placed your hand on his chest. You removed it and looked away blushing. He fixed his hat and looked the opposite way.

Gwang Min began to drink, you knew there would be no way he could drive you home. You didn’t want to make him for his safety and yours. The only other person who didn’t drink was Min Sik. You asked him for a ride home and he accepted. 

You looked out the window. “Do you want something to eat? You didn’t drink or eat anything at the hangout. I can buy you something if you want.” He offered. “No, it’s okay. I’m fine.” “Aww come on. Let me get you something for keeping me company tonight.” “Fine, okay.”

He stops at a fast food restaurant. You got out of the car and ordered for yourself and then he ordered. When you pulled out your wallet, he held your hand. “Princess, I got it.” Your eyes widened at the pet name. 

“Aw, the two of you make a cute couple.” The cashier added. 

“Oh, we’re not-”

“Thank you so much. I tried to tell her to hold my hand, but she was embarrassed.” He interrupted you. You hit his chest hard. “Min Sik!” “Yes my love?”

“You’re so unbelievable.” You complained, rolling your eyes before walking to a booth.

You sat in the booth closest to the entrance door. After a while Min Sik came to the table with both of your orders. He handed you yours with a smile. “Eat up. I don’t want you to starve.”

During dinner, as you could say, you would look up and see Min Sik looking at you with a smile. After dinner you got back in the car and he drove you home. Finally you reached your apartment. He walked you to the door. “Thanks for dinner, lover boy.” You giggled. You opened the door. “Wait!” He shouted. You turned around to see you were only a few inches away. You didn’t back away, you didn’t move forward. You were frozen. You were staring at his lips and how close they were to yours. 

“Can I?” He questioned. You only nodded to show approval. He leaned in slowly as did you. Only to be interrupted by the sound of yelling. 

“MIN SIK! WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY SISTER?!” 

“Gwang Min?” You whisper under your breath looking over Min Sik’s shoulder. You could see him drunkenly storming towards you. “I’ll see you later, bye Min Sik.” You said in a rush, before pecking his cheek and rushing in the apartment. 

Gwang Min jacked Min Sik by her shirt. “Yah! S-stay away, from my baby sister! Y-you, you, bastard. You, don’t deserve her.” Gwang Min said drunkenly barely being able to hold himself up. “Gwang Min, you’re drunk, get in there.”

“D-don’t think I’m not with you. I...will end you.”

“Oppa, come inside before you embarrass yourself or hurt your friendship.” You chimed in, wrapping Gwang Min’s right arm around your shoulders. Min Sik had his left arm wrapped around his shoulder. The both of you helped him inside the apartment. You put him in his bed. You both walked out of the room and sighed in relief. 

“Can I get that kiss now?” Min Sik asked.

You giggled silently. He leaned in and pulled you in close, and softly placed his lips on yours in a sweet, soft kiss. 

I hope this was somewhat what you expected. I hope you enjoyed. I almost lost this, luckily I didn’t. Sorry for any mistakes. Thanks for reading. Have an amazing day/night. Support EXID’s comeback lovelies.<3

[feelsgood-anon]

Eros - Bar AU Chapter 2

Disclaimer: This piece is a Mystic Messenger AU.  It is heavily inspired by the American sitcom Cheers, a show centered around a Boston bar called Cheers and it’s regulars.  Even though I have tried to keep as much of canon personalities with all the Mystic Messenger characters just remember that it is an AU and a few things may be different than in game or your headcanons. This has been fun to plan and I hope you find a bit of joy reading it!  

PG13+ for swearin’ and boozin’.

Ch.1 Pt.1 | Ch. 1 Pt. 2 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 |

The sky at night is normally something people don’t experience as much as much as the bright productiveness that the sunny days bring. Sure, It’s fun to look at the stars and find the constellations. You can let your imagination run wild as you travel through space between the wonders that most humans could never experience first hand.

if you are one of the unlucky ones that can’t find the comforts of sleep, the moon can become your best friend.

A friend. Is it really a friend? Or your worst enemy?

“No! They wanted two beers and a vodka tonic! What’s wrong with you?” Cannon grabbed the drinks off Sunny’s tray, slamming them onto the bar top, “Get your shit together! If I have to cancel my weekend off because you can’t get drink orders right I’m going to scream!” He quickly placed another set of glasses on the tray and shoved it towards the girl, “You’ve been here for two weeks and you still can’t get this right? What are you, dumb?”

She steadied the tray onto her arm as she looked down, “I’m sorry…I’ve been really distracted lately. I have this important essay due in class and I’ve spent a lot of time concentrating on it.”

“Sounds like a personal problem to me, and one that shouldn’t affect my work. Maybe you should manage your time a bit better so it doesn’t get in the way.” He snatched his writing pad from the counter and walked off to tend to tables with an air of annoyance following him. Sunny sniffled a bit and hobbled over to her table.

How many times did Zen say he was going to get the flooring replaced at the tables near the back? It was obvious that he never got around to it and as Sunny, a person that still wasn’t completely used to the place, walked over the uneven surface she tripped up enough to go tumbling to the ground. The sound of the shattering glass echoed through the entire bar and she immediately shut her eyes, face flushing in embarrassment.

“Are you okay, Sunny?” Zen ran around from the back of the bar to kneel at her side, “Did you get cut? Don’t move, there’s glass everywhere. Cannon! Grab a broom!”

Cannon came by soon enough and simply glared down at the two, “Are you serious? Not only are you dumb but you’re clumsy as well? Let me go ahead and cancel my plans now since I know I’ll have to come in this weekend. Unbelievable!”

Sunny’s shoulders trembled as she slowly sat up, “I-I’m…sorry…” A few tears trickled to the floor before she stood up and ran into the restroom. Zen frowned and twirled his head around towards the other server, “My office. Now.” Cannon scoffed and threw the broom and dustpan to the floor, his feet stomping loudly as he went to the room, “Should I sit on your mess of papers or the piles of trash?”

Zen ignored the taunts as he cleaned up the mess, apologizing profusely to the patrons at the table and offered drinks on the house. Returning to the bar he quickly prepared the drinks once more, “Red, what is with your brother tonight? He’s been rotten to Sunny. Has he been having issues sleeping again?”

“Not that I know of. Go on and talk to him, I’ll deliver these drinks and watch the bar while you take care of business.” Once Red pushed him away Zen let out a deep sigh and walked into his office. As he slammed the door closed he glared at Cannon, “You want to tell me why you’ve been giving Sunny hell? She’s been trying her hardest but you just keep dragging her through the mud.”

“I didn’t do anything.”

“YOU MADE HER CRY!” Zen was exasperated at this point with Cannon’s apathy towards the situation. “If you really want to have the weekend off you should think about being nicer to her so she isn’t as stressed and can handle things without you.”

Cannon scoffed as he looked away from his boss. He rarely looked him in the eye when there were issues since Zen had this weird way of deciphering emotions through facial expressions. His body seemed to curl into itself as he sat on the couch, “It doesn’t matter anyway! She’s messing up left and right so I know you are just going to call me in. What’s the point in babying her?”

Zen paced around in attempts to calm himself down. He normally had patience to deal but with Sunny now crying in the bathroom he couldn’t keep his composure. “You know what…just take the rest of the night off. Get some sleep and I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yeah, sleep. As if a night off would help with that.” Although he muttered Zen caught his statement and leaned his arm against the door to prevent him from leaving, “Cannon, are you having trouble with your medications again? You haven’t been sleeping?”

“My personal life is none of your concern!” He got up and tugged at the arm blocking the way but Zen was much stronger and kept his ground. “As your boss and your friend it is my concern, Cannon.”

“Personal matters shouldn’t be discussed on the clock, don’t you think?”

Zen furrowed his brow as his hand dropped to his side, “Then, as strictly your boss it concerns me that you are harassing fellow employees at the workplace. Not only that, but you have been much more irritable than normal to customers. We want to keep them coming back, not scare them away.”

“Fire me if I’m such a big problem.”

“Go home and try to rest. I’ll call you a cab, I won’t let you drive when you are angry and sleep deprived.” Zen opened the door to his office to let Cannon pass. He did, and went straight for his jacket at the bar, “I don’t need a cab, I’ll just walk home.”

Red turned around from the drinks he had been making as he heard the comment, “Walk home? It’s about an hour from here!”

Cannon stopped in his step, twirled around and did a little step dance. He hopped up and clicked his heels together to the right side and opened his eyes wide, “Would yah look at that? My legs aren’t broken! Praise the gods above!” He immediately scowled and went for the door, “I’m not a kid, I can get home.”

“Cannon, please call when you get there.” The worry in Zen’s voice made Cannon snicker, “Worried about me, mom?”

Jingle~!

“Hey Everyone-“

“Fuck off, Duckie.” Cannon pushed past the blonde and slammed the door behind him. Duckie shrugged and walked to sit at the bar top, “What’s with him?”

Red poured a mug of beer and passed it to him, “He’s just being his usual self. Getting angry, making people cry. Hey, boss,” He thumbed back towards the restroom, “Don’t forget that Sunny is still hiding in there.”

Zen perked as he had almost forgotten that piece of information, “Oh yeah! Let me go coax her out. Watch the place for me one more time, Red?”

“Sure thing, boss.”

*******

 “I fucking hate that place!” Cannon kicked at a stray empty can on the sidewalk. His hands were stuffed deep into the pockets of his jacket that was zipped straight up to the throat. His words came out spiteful but he slowed his step as he repeated his words in his head. “No I don’t…” He muttered to himself.

In fact, he had grown to enjoy working there. Despite his normal anxiety of being around large groups of people the familiarity of the bar made it easier for him to socialize. Regardless of how detached he acted everyone still welcomed him with a smile. This was his normalcy. This was his life.

The sleepless nights? They were also his life.

Zen hadn’t been wrong in his assumption that he was once again having issues with getting a good night’s rest and that it was affecting his mood tremendously. How else was he supposed to function when his entire being was screaming for a few more hours of sleep? He knew he was more hostile than normal but how was he going to deal with it?

He also knew another trip to the doctor would come to adjust medications. Hospitals, white doctor coats, waiting rooms. These things put him in a foul mood. Everything had started to pile up in his mind and for some reason he turned his aggression on the new server. “She’s such a try hard, it’s annoying!”

Cannon stopped at the end of the street and looked up into the sky. He loved the scatter of stars; but for once he wanted to feel what it was like to not see the moon for a while - unless it was in his dreams. “I should get home and call those assholes...” His soft sigh was carried through the light breeze of the evening as he made his way back to his apartment.

******

 “Hello boys~” Zen chimed as the twins stepped into the bar the next day. “Cannon, feeling any better?” A shrug came from the brother who then moved along quietly to start the opening duties. Red gave a half-hearted smile, “We talked. He’ll behave tonight.”

The white-haired male bit his lip as he kept his gaze on Cannon but before he could say anything else Sunny came crashing through the door. Even though her clothes were in order her hair was a slight mess and her complexion was lack luster.

“Damn, Sunny, you look like hell. What bus hit you on your way here?” Red chimed up as he began to wrap an apron around his waist.

She laughed a bit nervously as she clutched a notebook at her chest, “I should probably freshen up.” A quick look around the space landed her attention on Cannon to which she proceeded to rush towards him, “Hey! I’m really sorry about last night. I know you’re looking forward to your weekend off and I should have taken things far more seriously than I did.”

“No it’s okay, I-“

“No! Just listen. I took note of every bottle of alcohol we have and looked up the different types of drinks that can be made. I stayed up all night memorizing my notes and I want you to know that you don’t have to worry! I can handle it! I promise!”

“You…stayed up all night doing that?” He immediately began to sweat. Was this guilt that he felt? Had he really made her feel that terrible that she forced that type of stress on herself? “You didn’t have to go and torture yourself.” His head slacked downwards as he continued to sweep as he had been doing when she approached him. “If you can sleep, you should.” His voice was so soft that Sunny strained her neck towards his voice, “What was that? I didn’t hear you.”

“I said you’re an idiot! But at least you can recognize that you needed to study up a bit! I’m going to clean the pool room!” He stomped off to the back area, leaving the girl more confused than ever, “I didn’t mean to upset him again…”

Red slipped behind her and pat her head, “He’s been having a rough time and has been out of sorts. Just give him some space and he should be back to normal. Not that his normal is in any way nice…” He squinted towards Cannon who had started furiously sweeping the floor, “Do you need to take the night off to sleep, Sunny? I don’t want you passing out on us. Zen may just take the opportunity to give you CPR and get a kiss in.”

“Hey! No I wouldn’t!” Zen poke his head up from below the bar where he had been doing a few counts on the vodka bottles, “I mean, if you were in any danger I would do it but not for that reason!”

Sunny took one last look towards the Cannon in the back before deciding to take Red’s advice now giving her full attention to the two in the vicinity, “I’d rather go without breathing, thanks.”

Red gave a low whistle as he walked back towards the bar top, “She’s got bark, but does she have bite?”

“Why don’t you test my limit and see? I’m running on no sleep and I have a head full of alcohol.”

Zen chuckled slightly as he began wiping down the countertop, “See? I told you she’d be fine here. Now let’s get this place in tip-top shape, I have a good feeling about tonight~”

 A few hours into the night, the normal routine had set in and the staff was back to conversation and serving drinks.

“Cannon, I heard you have the weekend off. How long has it been now?” Sugar was at his usual spot with Clicks settled into the seat next to him. Cannon grabbed their empty glasses and placed them behind the bar, “Six months, or something like that.”

Clicks thanked Red when he refilled his beer and spoke towards the other twin, “My my, that’s a rather long time. Have you planned anything exciting?”

“I bet he has a date!” Duckie chimed in as he moved seats farther down to be nearer to them, “Am I right, Cannon?”

As if he was personally summoned Zen had slid towards their end of the bar, eyes sparkling, “Oh~ A date? Is she pretty? Or…is he pretty? I won’t judge~”

With a deadpan expression, he moved to tend to his tables, “Wouldn’t you all like to know?”

“Yeah.” Everyone responded, their voices a chorus of curiosity.  Cannon’s cheeks blushed furiously, turning towards the group, “Oh yeah?! Well you won’t get an answer from me! It’s my weekend off and I’m going to enjoy it! Without all of you!” Small huffs came from him as he dragged himself towards his tables. “Well then,” Sugar cleared his throat, “I suppose he doesn’t want to talk about his date.”

“It’s not a date!” Cannon yelled from across the way, “I mean, it might be! You don’t know and you won’t know!”

Duckie shrugged his shoulders and finished off his beer, “I don’t get that guy.”

Red laughed a bit and refilled his mug, “I don’t think anyone does.”

********

Saturday rolled around and Eros was as busy as ever, the weekends being the prime time for business. Sunny had been doing fairly well after the issue with Cannon. It turned out the insane study session did her some good after all. “Three beers on tap, A whiskey sour, and an extra dry martini please!”

Zen simply nodded between preparing two other orders. Thankfully he had a solid memory that allowed him to fix multiple things at once. As soon as he was finished he placed the drinks on her tray, shooting her a smile, “You’re keeping up, princess! I’m proud!”

She gave him a smug look as her confidence as a waitress had doubled throughout the night, “I told you, I learn fast. I just needed a push in the right direction. And by the way, perhaps your flirtatious names would be best suited for those scantily clad women down at the end of the bar that have been staring at your ass the entire night?”

He perked immediately and turned around, strutting over towards the giggling group, “Ladies, ladies. Allow me to service you?”

Jingle~!

“Hmph.”

“Cannon! Cannon?”

He walked over to stand at the bar as all the seats were taken, “Can I have a soda?”

“Bro, why are you even here? It’s your weekend off!” Red had served him immediately but stuck around as he was confused to why he was here in the first place.

“It’s her first weekend alone, I decided to stop by and make sure the place wasn’t destroyed.”

Red tilted his head slightly to the side with an even more quizzical look, “You came to work on your day off to make sure this place was in one piece? What happened to your date?”

Cannon choked on his soda a bit at the question, “I never said-“

“Oh no, Cannon! Did you get stood up?” Duckie came up behind him and pat him on the back, “Tough gig, man. There’s plenty of fish in the sea. Well, at least you can always rely on us to hang out with!”

He nodded a bit and wiped his mouth with a napkin, “Yeah, something like that. Hey Duckie, go put something good on at the jukebox, will yah?” The blonde smiled and nodded, running off to pick a song.

“You never had a date, did you?” Red leaned in to mutter towards his twin.

“Nope.”

“You came here because you’d rather be with us than alone at the apartment?”

“Yup.”

Red straightened up and smacked the counter top a few times before yelling, “Cheers to Cannon’s first weekend off in six months!”

“Cheers!” The patrons at the bar echoed.

“A round of shots on me! And by me, I mean on the house!”

Everyone cheered once more at the proclamation, but Zen shifted from his place amongst the women to protest, “Wait, what was that?”

“Don’t worry, boss! Just use the money you would have spent paying Cannon! It all works out, yeah?”

“Why you…!” Zen shot towards Red who slipped past him with a serving tray. “I’m going to kill him…wait, Cannon, what are you doing here?”

“Just killing time.”

“If you’re here, you can always clock in and help out.”

He shook his head slowly, “Nah, I’ll just hang out, If that’s okay.”

“Sure thing. Stay as long as you want.’ Zen reached over to ruffle his hair, “Say, the moon is beautiful tonight. I hope you don’t get to see it for too long.”

Cannon clicked his tongue and looked down at his glass, eyes steady on the floating ice cubes, “Yeah, me too.”

let the tags begin! @illneverrecover @zenscrotch @suzunesays