#and anyone who loves her will have to accept it

[angrenwen]

"The rest of the gods however really didn’t have a reason to be this mad. It wasn’t like you were a bad person, quite the opposite in fact! Ever since you had discovered your potential for magic, you had worked on making things better, to brighten lives and help those who needed a bit of a hand to get up again.

You crept down the street, feeling rather like a criminal rather than a person on a mission to help. There was a symbol people had come up so you’d find the houses that were in need of a little bit of help. Some healing here and there, easing the grief of a lost loved one, supporting someone through their own ventures of learning magic, easing droughts and helping prevent floods. You were useful for all kinds of things and it filled you with a deep, ever growing purpose to lend a hand.

You left on your fifth house after easing a newborn’s fever and quietly advising the parents on how to keep the child on its road to recovery, when you felt the familiar presence of one of the gods. One of the Five Founders, in fact, who had shaped the world before the rest of the deities had either come along or had been born.

The goddess of passion and elation, on other parts of the wold also known as the God of Creation, a tall, powerful woman who seemed to be everywhere at once, always watching over artists and warriors who honed their craft, proudly presenting it to her. You had spotted shimmers and shadows of her across the centuries, watching as she helped artists make the money they needed to keep going, how she had stood at the back of a passionate speaker, hands on his shoulders to lend him strength when his voice threatened to shake.

She was one of the most powerful gods and sometimes…sometimes you wondered if she truly was your enemy. There was no way the Goddess hadn’t noticed you lurking about, but she always seemed to consider her work far more important than hunting you down. And even when she found a free moment to join the search party of the pantheon, she never seemed to look too closely. Or, she never seemed to see you, even when your eyes had once met and she had carried on, walking past where you had huddled down.

You crept along the alleyway, keeping a close eye on where she was currently helping a despairing singer regain her passion. You couldn’t hide from the gods for long, not when they were actively looking for you and you were in the same world as them, but you could sense them at the very least when they appeared and run before they could catch you.

You dropped by one of the houses with Brenan’s descendants, making sure they had everything they needed. Still, even if you were welcome you felt like a stranger now after three centuries, more story than person. You would always watch over them, however. You had promised Brenan to do so on his dying bed and no matter how bitterly lonely you were more often than not, you would not falter. As long as people had need of you, you were determined to be there for them.

You were, therefore, all the more surprised when you later saw a temple with your symbol etched into the side of the gate, small enough that anyone else would have overlooked it. You hadn’t set so much as a single toe into a temple after the gods had gotten furious with your continued existence. You missed it sometimes, the worshipping, the hope that if you got tired and worn, there would still be some kind of higher power to at least talk to. Nowadays you spoke to the void in your little pocket dimension, cut off from the rest of the wold.

Sometimes, there was a small seed of resentment within you when you thought of the gods. Why could they not accept you? Why was it so horrible that you lived? You did so much good, could that, at least, balance the scales in their eyes?

You were therefore very wary when you approached the temple, knocking cautiously. Strangely enough, whoever, the faint trace of godly power that usually resided in every temple was nowhere to be found.

A haggard maiden opened the door, but her face lit up a bit at spotting you. "Please, come in," she said, voice soft but carrying and underlying thread of exhaustion. "Thank you for hearing us."

"How may I be of aid?" you asked, edging inside as though the floor might suddenly turn to lava. "I will do my best to help."

The maiden gestured towards the dais at the back of the temple and you realized there were no effigies anywhere, not even any stained glass pictures. There was only your symbol again, etched into the dais and an older woman in pale blue-green robes, almost reminding you of the faintest shimmer of the sea.

You quietly approached the woman who looked up, her tired face easing with sudden relief.

"War is on the horizon, the city doesn’t know it yet, but they will soon," she said and you resisted the urge to wince. There were wars everywhere and as much as you could heal and help and bring laughter to bleak homes, you had so far not managed to stop the marching of an army, to change the minds of those too power hungry to care for the folk ground beneath the heels of their ambitions.

You hadn’t studied destruction magic enough to force someone to stop, how to make the armies bleed and bleed until they were too thin and weak to continue on. You couldn’t even stomach the thought of killing someone just to prove your point, never mind entire battalions.

"I don’t know if I can help," you admitted with great reluctance, fiddling with your dark blue-grey cloak. "I have never prevented a war before."

The woman glanced at you. "We do not ask for the impossible, but when the armies come, there will be injured and the dead and fields burned and salted to destroy our harvest. Our rivers will swim with corpses and our wells will be empty or poisoned."

"I can help with those things." You felt a breath of relief at her words. This, yes, this you could do. You could cleanse water and bury the dead and heal the sick and injured and return the earth to its former state to feed its people again. The deity of nature shouldn’t protest your hand in things either, you had figured out over the years that she was always very upset about wars and argued relentlessly with the god of war.

The woman smiled, her drawn, worried face easing to a true smile. And this, this was truly why you did everything you did. Why you risked your life and studied magic scrolls until late at night, why you didn’t stop searching until you found the solution you wanted. Seeing someone smile after all that worry and fear was like watching the sun rise for the first time. Beautiful and warm and bright and precious.

The sudden arrival of a group of gods made you flinch and startle, eyes wide. That had been far too fast an approach, but it couldn’t have been the temple, there was no god here.

"I fear I must go," you said, pulling up the hood of your cloak and backing up to the door at the back of the temple. You were loath to destroy anything but you would jump through the window if necessary. The one and only drawback of your pocket dimension was that you had to be outside, earth below and sky above and neither obscured in order to open the gate and step through.

The walls shook as the doors blew open and a massive form ducked through. The god of war came first, dressed in splendor and spilling power like a rushing, deadly river after autumn storms. The deity of storms came next, air crackling with soon approaching thunder, feet never touching the ground and winds howling in their hair.

You ran.

Running from gods was about as easy as running from ancient, supernatural beings, which meant you made it two steps before a towering being of world shaping and shattering power stood over you, a glowing hammer swinging down.

Teleportation was, of course, a thing you could do, but you needed a moment to make it work properly, otherwise it could end disastrous. Just because you were immortal didn’t mean you couldn’t be killed.

Dropping low, you felt the sweep of the hammer missing you by a mere millimeter, your clothes dragging in the powerful draft of the deadly swing. You dove forward, rolling between the wide-legged stance the god of war had taken to attack, knowing that behind you there would already be another deity waiting.

Springing to your feet you threw up enough of a disorienting spell to avoid another attack, sprinting for the open doors. Tossing spells over your shoulder, you managed to duck around the deity of storms, avoiding the crackling thunder only because you had invented a new spell to counter it long enough to leave immediate reach.

As soon as your foot met crooked cobblestone and you saw the sky thick with storm clouds, the other deities, some rising from the ground like earthen monoliths, others descending from the sky like birds of prey and more again materializing like fog. You ripped open the pathway to your pocket dimension and went through, just as pain exploded along your side.

The rip had closed immediately behind you, but not before you felt the faint zing of lightning, your body not quite feeling pain but tumbling to the ground in a shaky, paralyzed mess.

By the time you got up to your knees again, you had healed the gash in your side and dragged yourself to a chair, flopping into it, breathing hard and staring up. You could almost hear Brenan, scolding you for being reckless and Liesel would have snarled her fury, would have draped you in defensive spells and would have demanded to be at your side, hurling all her magic at those threatening you.

Gods, you missed them so much.

You took a moment longer to calm down, before you used a spell to get the blood out of your clothes and you mended the rips afterwards. You knew where the gods were now, so you could drop by at another spot in the world.

With a wave of your hand, you were opening another gateway and returned to the world you refused to abandon.

More days and weeks passed until months had gone by and when you cautiously returned to visit Brenan’s children once again, war had hit the lands hard. You barely had a moment to breathe, healing the sick and injured, cleansing water and purifying the earth. Afterwards, even if it was getting more and more dangerous, you stayed to help fix homes. You might not be a gifted builder, but as long as one directed you, you could make stones and wood float. It took you minutes to cut down swathes of trees and turn them into planks they could use to keep building.

When the sky rumbled you were in the middle of rebuilding the last townhouse and you had already used almost all of your magic. Not that you would have gone and fought gods directly anyway, you would only end up pulverized. For all your abilities and immortality, you were still mortal.

The presence of the goddess of creation had been there all day long as usual, a faint trace as she watched over those who called to her, but now there was a piercing slam of godly energy as the heavens themselves seemed to split open to allow them all through.

You couldn’t just drop the levitation spell of the ceiling beams, workers would get buried beneath and you moved them out of the way, grim expectancy of death gripping your joints like fingers of ice.

When suddenly, people stood between you and the gods, faces a horrible mixture of terrified-determined, arms outstretched as they shouted up at their creators to stop.

You had never expected this. The people loved their gods, loved the plentiful harvest the goddess of earth brought them, admired the warriors who followed the call of war and adored the god of sleep, praying for good dreams. They worshipped the sun and moon, the tides and storms, the birth of new life and they prayed for passing souls to have a good afterlife. The gods were loved, still, but you hadn’t realized you had been able to give the people something they hadn’t. Whether they couldn’t or wouldn’t didn’t matter, not when you had filled that void.

With wide eyes you watched the barrier of people, people you had healed and cheered up and helped fix leaking roofs. People you had known since the day they had been born, who had known you as a legend come to life.

You gently set down the beams, the workers safe now and the women of the empty, godless temple stepped up to flank your side, more citizens pouring out into the streets.

"Give up the imposter," the god of oceans boomed, the very air feeling heavy with moisture, making it hard to breathe. "You have all been blinded for too long."

"No harm will come to you," the god of death stepped forward, voice gentle and kind. 

There was an involuntary flinch away from them by everyone around, an instinctive, deeply rooted human desire to not meet them too early. But they had a soft kindness to them, something infinitely patient and deeply welcoming, promising a soft resting place, an easing of any aches and pains, be they of body, mind or soul. 

Death, in your opinion, was the kindest of the gods despite their ire with you cheating them. You knew, when your time came, they would still be gentle with you, would usher your soul on with the utmost care, a soft kind of love for the very fact that you existed at all. 

You weren’t ready to leave, yet, though and maybe it made you a cheat and a hypocrite that you would deny other humans who weren’t ready either, but immortality was a different kind of burden, one very, very few were truly capable of shouldering. You yourself sometimes felt like buckling beneath all the years piling up on your shoulders, all the time passing in your mind.

You eased back a step, gathering what remained of your magic close, a last tendril of it to rip the world open so you could step into your little pocket of safety.

A sudden numbness spread, the gathered magic dissipating again to its dormant hum and your hands didn’t move, your legs felt strangely detached. You only realized you had sank to the ground when the two temple ladies grabbed your elbows, easing your way down. The world was strange, you thought. Sound was distorted and your sight a little blurry.

"Everything ends," one of the gods said and your head lulled forward to see the single, deadly flower blooming at your feet, having wormed its way through the cobblestone. For the first time since the gods had shown up, unprepared for your escape route, you had stayed still long enough for them to try anything this quiet and subtle.

Oh, you thought as your body felt more and more detached, the distorted sound growing duller and the world turned into a strange blur of color, as though an artist had dipped their hand into paint and dragged it across the canvas multiple times. This is what dying feels like.

Warm hands cupped your cheeks and the muffled sound around you changed, a soft, steady chanting. A song, what a sweet thing to send you off on. More voices joined and you sank into the hands on your cheeks, the hands helping you lean against a soft chest, a child’s small fingers finding and grabbing your bigger ones.

Strange, for some reason you had always thought you would die alone. And bloodier. Maybe that was the final mercy of the gods.

The song swelled and grew, words you could not decipher, but the rhythm, the very essence of it seeped into you, brought warmth back into your bones and it wrapped around your heart. That unexpected love and gratitude of these people, who would even stand firm in the face of godly wrath to protect you. 

You were sure you were crying and smiling as your breathing stuttered.

The warm hands on your cheeks left briefly, a necklace being pulled over your head, before they returned. Another set of hands came to rest over your heart, pressing down the necklace while they were at it.

More sound, almost as if from far away and as if it came through some kind of wall, but it was swiftly drowned out by the song. A song which grew to overtake your senses and the last bit of your leftover magic opened up to it, seeking that kindness in your final moments.

It was more than a mere song, you realized as your magic entwined with something that was more, something that was hope and defiance and gratitude and a call to the very foundations of the pantheon itself.

A call your soul answered, heavy with the years of immortality, buoyed by the love you held for this world, a steady, relentless will to do good with your powers. You had sought for something all these years, whether you knew it or not. A new connection after losing Brenan and Liesel and becoming less of a person and more of a fairy tale, a story people told their children so they’d be good and have good things happen to them in return.

And now, now there it was, as human hands held you up the same way you had once pulled them off their knees. And their calls were loud and their song was strong and their souls were hopeful, calling for the very thing you had always given them whenever you could.

Air filled your lungs with a big gasp as you felt the pantheon reach back to touch your very essence, answering the song that was a prayer of the people around you. Warmth bloomed back into your limbs and your heart beat, as strong as ever and your mind began to clear, your vision returning.

You were kneeling on the ground and you knew you there was a part of you that was human, still, but now there was more. You looked up, eyes wide to see the suddenly still and silent gods gathered around, the song of the citizens slowing to a quiet end.

You looked at the gods and suddenly you knew them, you knew all the names humanity had given them over the centuries and the true ones they had come into existence with. You saw their realms and their powers, how they coveted power and feared the loss of it. How their emotions were as wild as those of their creations and they worked for ever greater heights.

You felt your understanding of the world stretched further and bigger than just them, however. You felt, in this brief instance, the entirety of the pantheon, the vast power of the endless sky, the stories caught in stars and you heard the voices of all those who had passed, cheering and shouting and loudest among them Brenan’s voice. You hadn’t forgotten his voice even once, even after centuries and you heard him shout and scream for your victory loudest of all and you knew, suddenly you knew he was within reach again, that gods could walk the realms freely.

And then, there it was, a touch from somewhere far away, from an entirely different world, Liesel’s fierceness and suddenly she wasn’t gone, unreachable. Suddenly all that separated the two of you was just another rip, another gateway. The world had expanded and laid itself beneath your hands and you couldn’t help but breathe it in, breathe in all that lived and died and hoped and dreamed and kept going against all odds.

A sob caught in the back of your throat, a deep, hopeless yearning in you finally coming to rest now that your dearest friends, your long lost family was within reach again. Finally that age-old grief eased its grip.

You looked down on yourself and you saw faintly glowing, pale sea-green robes and a necklace around your throat, the symbol the people had given you dangling from it in simple iron.

Creation stepped forward at last, breaking the stillness, her voice an awed whisper, "A light in the dark," she said and when you looked up, you saw no confusion, no startled surprise in her face. There was nothing but fierce pride, the edges softened by awed adoration.

She had known, you realized. She had known what would happen, because this song hadn’t just come from nowhere. People had planned, had whispered to each other every time you had to flee, every time they saw blood left in your wake, every time they had to hide you from the gazes of the other gods they still worshipped. They had seen and planned and they had started to…to create. Of corse she had known, she was the essence of creation herself.

And she was so very, very proud, of you and of all the people around you for having succeeded in this. Looking at the other gods, you saw they had feared this very thing, had feared this very moment and had hunted you because of it. They had been terrified of you, a mortal, being raised by the others to stand with them as an equal, feared they would all end up being replaced, one after another.

Or maybe, even more than that, they had feared proof that they weren’t enough, that they had fallen short to the point where humanity had to create a god of their own to be held up in their faces.

Creation stepped forward and for the first time you saw her truly and fully as herself. Her wildly flowing, thick hair, her clothes ever changing to display all that artisans across the world and centuries were capable of, countless tools dangling from her belt. She stopped in front of you, none of the humans standing in her path now and she held out her hand, calloused by hard work.

"Rise," she said, her voice ringing clear like temple bells and the grin on her face was still fierce and so very proud. "Deity of Hope and Mercy.""

Ages ago you discovered immortality and then had the time to learn the strongest magics. But the gods were jealous and banded together to smite you. To escape their wrath, you hid in another dimension, coming back for only short, safe periods of time, to help people in their time of need.

[pinkyqil]

LOVING YOU FROM A DISTANCE [Ingrid engen x mapi lèon x reader]

Masterlist

Summary: You love her, but she's in love with someone else that isn't you and all you can do is love and wacht her from a distance but would you really accept it?.

A/n: this is one out of fives parts of my Ingrid x mapi x reader serie. Updates every Monday, if you have any suggestions/questions that you'll like to see in the serie let me know and as always feedbacks are appreciated and hope you guys enjoyed this one 🫶🏿

Contains: emotionally dependent reader, cunning mapi, angst, a lil bit of yander vibes from r, toxicity.

You recently joined the team a few months ago, Ingrid was apart of your teammates who had hosted a welcome to the team party for you and the other girls.

The moments your eyes meet hers you could feel the butterfly in your stomach. Understand what people meant by love at first sight.

But that any thoughts you were having where crushed. the moments your eyes landed on a brunette woman arms filled with tattoos greeting Ingrid with a kiss on her lips while staring at you.

She couldn't be dating anyone could she?. You thought .but then again, you know nothing about this tall goddess that was standing a few feet's away from you.

Deciding to get out of mapi's view and interact with your new teammates even though you only wanted to speak to Ingrid.

That night, you took it upon yourself to find her socials and followed her along with a few other teammates.

The next day at training, you made sure to be up bright and early for the new training session while hoping you could be able to talk to Ingrid.

Your plan consists of partnering up with esmee from what you gather. She was really close to Ingrid and the rest and could eventually help you get closer to Ingrid.

Every day, you would come in early and would plant in piece of flowers.where you know she'll sit at or slip in chocolate bars into her locker or love note.

But every day it looks like your efforts goes to waste because she'll either trash anything you gave her. Or it would've been mapi who had put it into the dumpster before Ingrid could notice them.

She was starting to annoy you really bad. But today happened to be your lucky day.

It was during a training session and you where placed on Ingrid's while mapi was on the opposing team.

Everyone was having fun and showing out their best skills when all of a sudden you stole the ball from mapi and was about to score, which earned a lot of ou's around your teammates until she had tackled you down hitting your ankles real bad.

Yelling and falling down while holding down your left, Ingrid was the first one to reach asking if you were alright.

"Come on she's alright I didn't even hit her legs that hard". The spenaird said but instead she got a cold glare coming from her girlfriend.

"Ai mapi, I don't think we need any of our teammates injured, so let's keep it down with the aggression". Patri voice yelled out.

Ingrid helped you up along with the medic, you where hopping on your left leg has they tried moving you inside the building.

"I'm very sorry for what mapi did she's normally not like this". She said sat down right next to you

"It not your fault we're all adults and if she wanted to apologize she would've". You told her

"I probably won't be able to play for a while the pains killing my ankle". You told her.

"That kinda of sucks if you need a ride home, please let us know, pretty sure it the least we can do."She told you and you took on that offer.

You knew that it only pissed off mapi way more when she saw Ingrid helping you make way to their designated parking spot. Ingrid sat in the back with you so that you wouldn't feel any lonely.

You didn't know if it was too much when you had laid your head on her shoulders and close your eyes but before you did. The look mapi gave you just made you feel 10 times better already.

[intimidating-fettuccine]

This post is coming from me in my space of panic and resignation that I have been in all day, but I just. I felt the need to say anything at all.

Please do what you can to survive. This week, for the next few years, maybe forever. Please do what you can to survive. We cannot give up, we have to remain unified and continue supporting each other. That is all we can do. I don’t know what the future will look like, but we should be prepared to handle anything.

If you are like me, a female, I wish you so much support. With the rights we are about to lose, please keep yourself safe. Look into birth control if you can, especially IUDs or implants, I’ve been doing that myself. Please only surround yourself with people that you know are trustworthy. I’ve seen lots of women saying they’re going to be joining the South Korean 4B movement (not dating, having sex with, marrying, or having children with men), and honestly I encourage it. Even if you’d like to be a mother, it’s not safe anymore. If something goes wrong with your wanted pregnancy, there’s an incredibly high likelihood that you will not be able to receive care. That is a horrific reality, but it’s something we need to be aware of. If you are in a safe, loving relationship I am incredibly happy for you and I wish you the best. If you are not, or if you are single, do whatever you can to get to a safe place, please.

To any of my LGBT+ followers, please remain safe. Please, please, please be careful, with what you say, with who you talk to, with how you present yourself. I can’t even imagine how terrifying things might become, but I don’t want any of you to be ashamed, to stop being who you are. Just please be safe in how you do so. I wish you all so much luck and love because you all deserve to be free to express yourselves, to live as who you are in freedom and not be so heavily judged and prosecuted and punished. Please have safe spaces, and safe people to surround yourself with if you can. This blog will ALWAYS be a safe and inclusive space for you. I see you, and I accept you, and I support you so much. Please take care.

My support goes out to everyone who is about to be effected, because it is about to be more than just women and LGBT+ members, but I wanted to touch on those two specifically because they are the ones closest to me. I love you all. I’m sorry that this is how things turned out, but we need to keep going. We need to stay strong. We need to keep fighting and surviving because they want us to give in and we can’t do that. It might get incredibly tough next year, in the next four years or even longer, but you cannot give them the satisfaction. You have to outlive them, to prove to them that you can survive and that you deserve to be here.

I don’t particularly care if anyone thinks I’m being dramatic about this and I’m not trying to fearmonger. I don’t want anyone to be scared, but I can’t hide the fact that I’m scared. That I don’t know how things are going to look moving forward. But I care about each and every one of you.

Continue living with airport rules right now (doing whatever it takes to get to your destination of the future). He’s not in there yet. We are still safe right now. Please do what you can to prepare and to steel yourself for any outcome. But, for the next couple weeks, please just take care of yourselves. Indulge in activities you love, eat food you love, sleep as much as you can, take care of yourself as much as you can. You are not alone in this. Everyone that voted for her, we are all in this together. We cannot forget that.

I love you all so much. Please be safe. Know that you are not alone. Be strong, and be proud of what you fought for and who you are. You deserve to be here, and you deserve to be who you are.

[chososcamgirl]

“ 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐆𝐄𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓 ”

꒰ঌ ໒꒱ ⸻ 1.6k followers celebration event !

જ⁀➴♡ ATTEN-HUT!

hihi hello! welcome to my celebration event where i, SERGEANT SWEETHEART, assign scenarios & headcannons to a random match !

જ⁀➴♡ HOW DOES THIS WORK ?!

easy! all you have to do is send me an ask describing your personality! it's your standard matchup event where you'll specify what fandom you want you’re match to be in. my job as sergeant sweetheart will be to assign a dynamic & scenarios based on you & who i think would be most fitting as your match!

you'll select a maximum of three questions (or four for moots) you'd like me to answer about your match, and i'll do my best to answer based on my idea of what your relationship would be like !

જ⁀➴♡ WHO CAN I BE MATCHED WITH ?!

• you will not be able to choose a specific character but you can specify what fandom you want character to be from & gender !

• your fictional other should be a character from jjk, haikyuu or aot only.

• note that all characters will be written as adults (18+) by default (everything is still sfw !)

• only one match per person

જ⁀➴♡ ANYTHING ELSE, SERGEANT?

here are some guidelines when requesting :

• anyone is free to join ! you don't have to be a follower or mutual to take part.

• on that note, all scenarios & hcs will be sfw or at best lightly suggestive, so everyone of all ages is free to join

• you can send your requests on or off anon. i recommend sending it off so you'll be notified, but it's all up to you ! edit: if requesting on anon, feel free to assign yourself a name or emoji!

• don't be shy! i feel like a lot of people are shy when talking about their selfship because they may feel cringy or embarrassed. trust me i'm not judgy at all. i love reading selfship posts so describe yourself in as much detail as possible!

જ⁀➴♡ PICK A QUESTION, ANY QUESTION!

• note that before answering questions, i will provide a description of what dynamic i think your match would have !

• starred questions (*) have potential to receive slightly suggestive answers

remember you can only pick a maximum of three while moots pick four!

1. how did you first meet ?

2. who confessed & how ?

3. who fell first & who fell harder ?

4. first date ?

5. what do others (ex: parents/friends) think of your relationship?

6. toxic things they do ?

7. toxic things you do ?

8. what do you often fight over ?

9. why/how did you break up ?

10. at what moment did they fall in love ?

11. at what moment did you fall in love ?

12. what do they not like about you ?

13. what do you not like about them ?

14. what do they love most about you ?

15. what do you love most about him ?

16. how was your first kiss like ?*

17. their favorite activity to do with you ?

18. their green flags in your relationship ?

19. how did they propose ?

20. what's having a family with them like ?

જ⁀➴♡ WHAT BASIS DO YOU WANT YOUR MATCH TO FOLLOW?

🍫 - fluff

🍡 - comfort

🍰 - crack

🍨 - hurt/angst

𝐒𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐒𝐎𝐋𝐃𝐈𝐄𝐑 𝐈’𝐌 𝐆𝐎𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐎 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐏 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄…

જ⁀➴♡ ARE YOU IN SERGEANT IYA’S SPECIAL CADET FORCES?

— this is for moots only! pick 1-2 items

🪽- moodboard of your relationship

🏹 - text conversation with your match

💒 - 3 songs your match associates with you

જ⁀➴♡ HOW TO REQUEST?

to participate, you must send me an ask following this template. starred (*) questions are optional. any requests that do not follow instructions will be deleted!

• pronouns

• *gender + any relevant information regarding gender identity (ex: perhaps you don't wear certain clothing, or use she/her pronouns but prefer to be treated as male. this is to avoid me making you uncomfortable in descriptions)

• *sexuality (if unanswered, i will assume you are attracted only to the opposite gender)

• fandom you want your match to be in (refer to list of accepted fandoms)

• what questions you want me to answer (3 or 4 max)

• your perception of what you would like your match to be. everyone has different perspectives on different characters; so i'd like to see your match through your eyes in order to make more accurate hcs !

that's all! please remember i can only take a limited number of requests. i can't guarantee requests will be answered on a first come first serve basis, but i recommend requesting as soon as possible! when requests are closed, the prompt below will go from "start" to "end!"

• moots & active followers/anons will get priority in receiving answers; this is a milestone event after all

requests close on 11/11

[drunkinyourbenz]

ALWAYS THERE FOR YOU

☆ SYNOPSIS: your parents' excitment about the election results left you with a pit of dread in your stomach. luckliy for you, you had billie, who helped you through it all.

☆ RELATIONSHIP: billie eilish x fem!reader

☆ WARNINGS: angst, comfort, politics, right wing family, implied homophobic family, long distance relationship (during tour)

☆ REQUESTED? yes, anon

☆ NOTE: hi my loves, i saw this request and just had to write it right away (literally wrote it in half an hour lmao) for anyone needing comfort as well as the anon who requested this, i hope you're doing okay. i'm not from america, but i'm also deeply dissapointed about the election results, and i feel for all of you who are there. i hope i did this request justice, i don't have a family who's like super against my views so i hope this is okay <3 anyone with family celebrating like the readers is in this story, please imagine me giving you the biggest hug rn, i hope you're coping okay. my dms are always open if you want to talk about anything at all, i love you all, please stay safe <33

☆ WORD COUNT: 1.2k words

you and billie had been dating for a while now, and she made you happier than anyone ever had before. she was your other half, and without her you would feel incomplete. you weren’t on tour with her, much to both of your disappointments. but you’d had personal things that took up your time at the start of tour, so the plan was that you’d join her once she came on tour to your city, and you’d join her for the rest of tour. despite not being on tour with her, your mind always drifted back to her, she had a permanent residence in your heart. 

so naturally, on election night, you sat in your room thinking about her. you wanted nothing more than to be held by her in this moment, you’d slipped away from dinner as soon as you could, but you could still hear your family’s excited chatter coming from downstairs. the fact that they were happy about the way it was going, the way they wanted a future that was so drastically different from the one you had in your mind… it stung. your parents genuinely wanted a future that you weren’t sure whether you had a place in, and you didn’t really know what to do with that information.

you were trying to stay off social media, to stay away from the news, because you knew it wouldn’t help you—you couldn’t change a thing. but every few minutes, you’d end up switching back to the tab on your laptop with the live updates, feeling a sense of dread settling in your stomach. you couldn’t quite comprehend how so many more people had voted for him, the man who made you genuinely fear for your future. 

so finally, you texted billie. you needed her comfort, even though it would just be her voice over a call. you needed her. 

can i call you??

billie replied not long after, her text simple. 

bils: ofc baby

her contact calling you came up on your screen before you could even move to call her, and you automatically accepted the face time. her face popped up on your phone after a moment, and as well as the tiredness from tour you’d been seeing so much of lately, she looked just as crestfallen as you. the two of you shared the same opinions on this, and you knew how much billie cared about it. 

just as the call loaded properly, you heard a loud cheer from downstairs, and you couldn’t stop the grimace that appeared on your face. billie’s lips curved down in a soft, sympathetic frown, “oh, baby.” 

a sigh left your lips, the sound somewhat defeated, “i just… i don’t know how they want that. it feels like they want a future that i’m not safe in–” billie cut you off with an understanding sigh, she knew that if she let you keep talking, you’d simply spiral. she knew what you meant, you felt a rift between you and your parents, you felt unsure of what that meant for your relationship with them. billie herself had never experienced it, with her own family being supportive and sharing her views, but she had always been good at comforting you. 

“i’m so sorry, baby. you know that me and my family have always got you, no matter what, yeah? we’ve got your back, we’re always here for you. all of us.” 

your lips curled into a soft pout, her words lessening the sadness you were feeling. “i love your family.”

she smiled softly at you, “and we love you. always.” 

you cracked a small smile at her words, the disappointment behind your eyes still very much evident, but you felt an overwhelming feeling of love for the people in your life. even if your blood-related family didn’t understand, you had your chosen family. that small fact that you had your people, who agreed with you on these things, it helped to soften the blow of your parents wanting the country to go down such a different path than you did. only slightly, but it helped. you felt the pain dull slightly. 

the two of you stayed on the phone for a while, billie distracting you from your parents downstairs by telling you about the tour so far. obviously, she was also upset about everything going on, but she knew you needed this support and that was more important than talking about it. she just wanted you to feel okay. you could feel the emotions hanging around both of you even through the phone, but you appreciated that she wasn’t mentioning them right now. you’d have plenty of time to talk about the election later, once you didn’t feel so despairing about the future. 

after about half an hour of the two of you just talking, you decided to ask her something. 

“bils?” 

“hmm?” she hummed, looking up as if she could sense the importance of what you were about to say even through one word. 

“do you… do you think i could join you on tour a bit earlier than planned? i just don’t know if i can stay in this house for any longer, it’s just–”

“of course.” 

her instant, firm reply cut off your rambling and you sighed in relief, “thank you–”

“don’t thank me, darling. i just want you to feel safe.” she paused, thinking, “you could join us on the minnesota dates, if you want. there’s two days there, so it gives you more time to get here. i can book you a flight–” 

you smiled at her considerate words, the way she was taking everything into account. oh, how you loved her. “that sounds perfect. and don’t book first class this time, jesus. i can put up with an economy flight, i’m used to them. plus,  i get to see you at the end of it.” 

she smiled warmly, “mm, you do. and then i’m wrapping you up in a massive hug and never letting you go, because i love you.” 

you giggled softly at her words, “i think i’m looking forward to seeing maggie more, actually.” 

billie rolled her eyes fondly, her mother just adored you. “i don’t blame you.” 

the two of you talked into the night, and were still on the call when you woke up. you weren’t aware that you’d fallen asleep, and you probably wouldn’t have if it weren’t for her soothing voice.

it was now the early hours of the morning, soft sunlight streaming through the curtains you’d forgotten to shut. the house had gone silent by now, your parents finally asleep, and you felt a tiny bit of peace just laying there in the silence. you looked at the screen for a moment, simply admiring her pretty sleeping face, the way her eyelashes fluttered slightly and her chest rose and fell with each breath. this time in a few days, you’d be in her arms again. 

you let out a soft sigh. the country may be falling apart by the seams, but you had billie. you had her, so you’d be okay. 

[thats-a-mood-gabriella]

We talk a lot about how Blitz represents freedom to Stolas, and that's very much true. But we don't talk about the fact that he represents the same thing to others, too.

His first meeting with Moxxie, Moxxie only starts to smile when Blitz mentions that he needs to get home to his daughter, clearly demonstrating that here is a dad who cares about his kid. After the upbringing Moxxie has with Crimson, how eye opening would it be to step out of that world for the first time and immediately see that families don't have to be like that? Blitz is clearly doing crime just like his dad, hence how Blitz ended up in jail, but he's nothing like the cold hearted, abusive father that Moxxie grew up with. Blitz shows him, without even meaning to, that families can be different.

His first meeting with Millie, she's accepted the place that society says is hers. She even goes so far as to reinforce it to other imps; "imps don't work for themselves." "we don't deserve this." And Blitz shows her that she can be anything she wants, can have agency over her own life. He offers her the freedom to break out of the box she's been stuffed into by the world.

Blitz meets Loona at the pound. He didn't go there looking for a daughter, but he found a teenage girl being told she's worthless and will never matter to anyone or anything. He sees his own childhood in her and he says not again, not if I can help it. So he takes her home and what does he do? He tells her, over and over again, that she's perfect. Sure, he's sometimes more indulgent than he probably should be, but imagine how freeing it was for Loona, to not only literally be freed from a cage but then to have her adoptive father spend every day telling her that they were lying. She's perfect. She's wonderful. She can do anything she wants. She matters.

But see, that's what Blitz does! Just by being himself, just by refusing to be what society says he should be (imps don't work for themselves, they're the lowest of the low) (a criminal must be hard and ruthless, even within their own family; there is no room for softness, loyalty, or love) (you are worthless and will never amount to anything), he shows each of them a way to be free of whatever other people say they "should" be, just as he's done for Stolas. He's awakened ALL of them.

Please someone stage an intervention where they all tell him how he's made their lives better.

[doublejango]

I am already seeing virtue signaling posts from people saying "I don't care what you believe or how you voted..."

That's great. I care. I care a lot. The outcome of this election effects me, but so much more than me. I care. It matters. And if it really doesn't matter to you? Good for you. If you are privileged enough, safe enough, and entitled enough to truly not care about how the election will impact other people... I can't even imagine what that must be like. Nice, I guess?

I spent most of last night and this morning crying.

I'm done with tears now, and have moved on to rage.

And you know what? I promise not to let it burn out. Because smiles and positivity may work for many of us, and I'm not going to lose mine either, I promise not to lose my queer joy--they can rip it from my cold dead hands, not to get too damn dramatic here--but I'm also not in the mood to start forgiving and smiling and welcoming Nazis into the bar.

So. I will hold onto anger. I've been tolerant and accepting long enough in life... and have learned something important about what causes the worst harm.

I have been gay bashed before. Violently. Blood. Broken bones. Lost teeth. And you know what the worst part of the recovery of all of that was, the part that did the most psychological and emotional damage? It wasn't the actual bashing itself. It wasn't even the memory of exactly what it felt like to have something swung full force into my face with extremely violent intent. It was the denial from my "friends" and family afterwards. The people who wanted to deny that it was a hate crime. The people who wanted me to shrug it off and not be upset about it. The people who loved to say oh well it wasn't that bad. You know what helped? Letting myself feel fury. Letting myself name the attack as hate. "It wasn't that bad," though, they said, asif it was their judgment to make--endless hours of dental procedures, pain, wounds that never fully healed, the trauma, the lost work, the new experience of vomiting blood with broken jaws and knocked out teeth. Because it wasn't that bad. And there was so much self-reproach, because I could have avoided it. I wasn't the intended target. He was swinging for a lesbian with me. When the attacker burst out of hiding he was swinging for the side of her head, her temple. I jumped in between them. Didn't think. It was an impulse. Protect the people you care about. So I took it to the face. And I grabbed him. I threw him, and fell doing it. I remember being on my knees in the mud. Seeing my teeth in the mud. Seeing my blood just. Everywhere. And knowing I needed to push back to my feet immediately because it might not be over.

We were lucky. It was over. He hadn't expected anyone to fight back. He ran.

But the people who claimed to love me didn't want to deal with the idea that it was a hate crime. They wanted it to be random and meaningless. That made their world a little safer, I guess. And their denial made my world colder. And my recovery lonelier. Harder. They put me down for "bringing it on myself." As if it would have been more virtuous to let this woman take that attack to her temple, as if I would have been more valid for standing by and watching it happen.

There are so many more stories I can tell you, but the lesson is almost invariably the same: the ugliest hurt is often the one caused by the people who just turn away when you identify what happened to you. The hurts that cut the deepest and last the longest often come from the people we thought we could trust, because they want you to just get over it, don't talk about it, admit it could have been worse, don't call it That.

The betrayal from people who are supposed to have your back? That deepens wounds, deepens trauma.

I won't be that person. I won't tell you to smile and turn the other cheek when someone shows you they hate you. Do whatever you need to do to survive--physically, emotionally, psychologically. Just don't give up, and don't let the cowards force you into feeling shame for not giving up and letting the world break you.

Never be ashamed to refuse to break.

Never let someone shame you for choosing strength. For drawing your line in the sand.

I wanted the "exciting" times of my life to be behind me. But they're not--so be it. I'm not going to tone myself down to be safer. I don't care about my own safety anymore. Any self-preservation drive broke a long time ago when it comes to homophobia. I promise to always be ready to fight. To be a queer menace to "polite" society. I promise to be out and loud and gay, to be a shield however I can for those who can't be out, who can't fight back, who can't even speak up because it wouldn't be safe for them to do so. They are valid, too. And I love them. And I will have their fucking backs. I promise to, in my real off-the-internet life, be someone who will always jump in and speak up if I see queer people being harassed or shamed--especially if they're young. I am older. I will fight for my baby gays. I will love them.

And I will never, never put anyone down for refusing to welcome Nazis into the bar. We don't look the other way and quietly tolerate them. Not here.

I may not be around much for the next few days. I need to handle my own shit. My own fury. My own grief. Because right now, there is so much grief.

But I won't be going anywhere.

I will fight to stay.

Whatever it takes.

I'm not giving up.

If I end up on my knees in the mud again, staring at my own blood and teeth, metaphorically or in fucking reality, so be it. I will get back up. And I will keep getting back up. I won't let go of the anger. The spite. And I definitely won't let go of my love for every queer person, the ones I know and the ones I don't, because that love is what will give me strength to get through this. Whatever comes next.

I may not have much sense of self-preservation. But goddamn, I will fight for you.

[chuunyu]

I've been thinking a lot lately about how Mizuki is kinda too perfect as a trans character. Their family is accepting and they can pass effortlessly. The only issue they have is really the only one that could be left after that point: society's view of trans people.

But while this is great and I really appreciate how Mizuki is written, handled, whatever, it just makes everything about being a regular transfem hurt even more...

I've been working on a 4 hour video essay about Mizuki for almost a month now and every time I replay parts of the story involving Mizuki's sister Yuuki, I just can't help but begin to break down. The way she has never left Mizuki alone when they were vulnerable, the way she's supported Mizuki with everything she possibly could. Her words, her gifts, her clear love for Mizuki is something I wish I ever had. I've always been alone I feel like. I never had anyone who I was able to comfortably share my femininity with. Even now, I feel like that same femininity isn't something I can share with most trans women I meet.

When I see the things Yuuki says to Mizuki, it's just too much. It's this amazing warmth that I never had and I wonder if I will ever get to have. Even outside the story... I just read an alternate timeline fic where Ena's the one who gets Mizuki out of the closet and not Yuuki. Even that like, it really hurts you know?

Beyond Yuuki, the way that Mizuki presumably doesn't have to put effort into passing is difficult as well. Truly their only obstacle is finding acceptance. And well, for them, there is still the existential obstacle of being trans - being born in the wrong body - but it doesn't stop them from presenting comfortably in a way that they're happy with. Meanwhile, I feel like most trans women don't get to pass. I think I've only known one trans woman who passes.

So now there is not only acceptance (which is more complex and difficult if you don't pass), but also this whole aspect of maintaining constant courage against the negativity of society, which is a tremendously heavy thing. And sure, Mizuki deals with this too, but in a different way. The door for them to blend into society is open, but for those who don't pass, the door might be so hard to find that it might as well not be there.

When I compare myself to Mizuki, I just feel... inadequate. I never meant to do it intentionally but the moment it happened it sent me into a spiral.

"I'll never have what they have."

And I know they're a fictional character and are probably an unattainable standard but idk it just, it's hard not to compare myself? Maybe I'm just stupid.

They're just too perfect, despite how "rough" their story is. I think it's really their downfall in terms of becoming the best possible representation and I mean, I was never expecting that from them. It's just an issue with their character I think, though one that couldn't really be avoided with how the writers wanted to execute their character.

Idk, I love Mizuki but sometimes it hurts when I think about them.

[elrielbaby]

What do you think of the Gwynriels being too confident in their ship? Are you sure Az has feelings for Gwyn and is always looking for her and stuff? And what are they matte?

I have tried, really really tried, to see where they’re coming from. I’ve re read the books multiple times to ensure I’m not missing any context, I’ve looked at it through every angle possible and I still cannot fathom why they are so confident.

I have a couple of theories as to why they’re so confident and I’m feeling a little spicy today, so I’ll share. I could go in to heavy detail, but I’ll try keep it brief anon.

1. They hate Elain and so are looking for any other option. Literally anyone. G*yn happens to be in the bonus chapter and so they go with that, without really thinking about it* (I will circle back to this).

2. They blindly follow the word of one or two people online.They don’t like Elain, or they love L*cien (and they totally miss all the clues that say L*cien doesn’t actually want Elain but that’s a whole other can of worms) and so they accept other people’s interpretations - which those people very intentionally present as fact, and use them as a jumping off point, so when they go back to the books they have that other persons narrative in their head that far better suits their ideals and so they’re looking, twisting, turning any and all of the narrative to fit that. They are gaslighting themselves, basically.

3. They don’t re read the books and they don’t open themselves up to any other possibility. I can say for myself that before I started posting online about elriel, I had heard about G*riel after reading the books and re read them to be sure. I’m nearly positive a lot of them don’t do that, and either never re read or re read as per the second point.

As to the second part of this question, I don’t believe he’s got feelings for G*yn, nor do I think he’s always looking for her - so, I’m very sure of that. If you meant Elain, it’s pretty obviously laid out in the text, without SJM having Azriel and Elain say ���I’M IN LOVE WITH HIM/HER AND I DONT CARE WHO KNOWS IT’ - because how does that make any sense when they haven’t had their book? If they had, I’d be less sure of their endgame.

As for the last part, I’m going to assume you’re asking if I think either G*yn or Elain are mated to Azriel. I do not believe G*yn is Azriels mate. At all. There are a few signs that Az & Elain could be, but it truly doesn’t matter to me if they are or not. I think SJM has been metaphorically winking at us with some of the things she’s said about them but it could go a number of ways, in terms of wether they’re mates or not.

One things for certain though - they’re endgame ❤️

* to circle back to them not really thinking about it, as I didn’t want to bog down the main text with this, they don’t seem to consider a number of different things.

They don’t consider that it’s a limited bonus chapter that was only available for one specific book store. It is not available in the copies of ACOSF you can buy now, nor was it available in a huge number of copies you could buy at its initial release.

They don’t seem to consider that if you remove the bonus chapter, we still have four books that include build up for them. It literally makes no odds as to wether the bonus matters or not. For them though? Most of their argument relies on that bonus chapter.

They don’t seem to consider any other reason as to why G would be in that bonus chapter. None whatsoever. The Elain part was explicitly romantic and if you look at G’s part there is no romanticism in sight. The ‘spark’ happened after a conversation with Clotho, not even when G was present. Almost like G didn’t actually have anything to do with it at all. If you connect the dots to the main text, at least for my interpretation, you have Elain & Az, who very clearly have feelings for one another. You have G, who has a powerful affect on Nesta, and Clotho who also has, to a smaller extent, a powerful affect on Nesta.

And those are just the few things off the top of my head that I have the bandwidth to come up with right now. ❤️

[tokyo-daaaamn-ji-gang]

A scenario where Baji breaks up with reader cuz he feels insecure or something (he still loves reader btw) reader is saddened but accepts it and stays friendly with him. But Ryoko has a talk with reader and is disappointed that the 2 broke up and basically praises reader, which triggers readers mummy issues but Ryoko mistakenly thinks they're crying over her and Bajis break up and tells Baji. How would Baji react? Would he confront reader?

Ok firstly, Baji is definitely getting told off a lot by Ryoko here, she'd be so annoyed at him for making anyone cry but it being someone she also likes/ has bonded with would annoy her even more. She's definitely telling Baji to fix it (Baji didn't actually to be told though).

As for Baji's reaction, he'd be so upset by this. He's such a loyal guy, who cares a lot about the people he loves and would do anything for them. He does have this tendency to do things alone though, so I'd imagine he broke up with the reader because he thinks they can do better. I think them crying would make him confront them but wouldn't make him change his mind. He would hate seeing them cry so would immediately go to check on them and would likely explain why he broke up with them. Though I think he would change his mind and date them again after getting some reassurance from the reader that he's good for them and they want him, they don't want anyone supposedly better. Especially since Baji didn't want to break up with them in the first place anyway.

[teamdilf]

Veilguard's Ending and a Story Turned Folktale

Veilguard ending spoilers after the cut.

Given that the Solavellan ending was heavily inspired by the story of Loki and his love, Sigyn, I've been thinking about how their story would shift as the centuries go on. The inquisitor is widely viewed as a deity in Southern Thedas, whether or not they accept the designation, the same as Solas, who is viewed as a god despite his refusal.

Now, Rook leaves the Throne Room with a tale of the Herald of Andraste - one of the most powerful people in Southern Thedas, leaving the waking world forever to live by the side of an ancient elven god. It's a romantic story, and I think after any initial backlash (whether it's because people perceive Lavellan as abandoning her duty to the south or because of the wrong Solas has done to the world), it will come to be viewed in a romantic sense.

Some may see Lavellan's decision as a sacrifice, but my Lavellan, Iris, would be furious with anyone who saw it that way. She'd planned this for years, recognizing that any future she'd have with Solas could not be in Thedas, but in the Fade. She had a bag packed, and said her goodbyes to Dorian, who is the only person she told definitively about her plan (though I assume Morrigan figured it out during their time working together). This was what she wanted - what she always wanted. She didn't want to be a politician; she saw her duty when the gods were freed, but once they were slain, believed those she put in charge of her duties while she was away would tend to them more capably once it became known that she was gone, never to return.

She made her choice out of love, but she could also see that Solas needed her more than anyone in Thedas. Long ago, she swore to herself that she would never allow him to die alone, and so she's promised him an eternal life by his side.

So, I can definitely see it becoming a folk tale or mythological tale - though both Iris and Solas would be terribly irritated if they discovered people were viewing their love story with a religious lens.

[sergeantcowboy]

Hey I'm gonna pretend like the western worlds decent toward facism isn't a thing and that the already fundamendally flawed democratic system of the US isn't actively collapsing in on itself as we speak, I'm gonna share some oc facts.

(In all seriousness: to all my american followers or whoever happens to see this please stay safe. If you're part of any of the groups trageted by the right wing please keep yourself alive, they want you gone and just being alive is already resistance. I believe in you.)

Wow look at that! OC facts! (Mainly Crow's backstory and family stuff)

TW: parental death

Crow was born in New Jersey to a teen mom who had him at 16. He spent the majority of his childhood being raised by his grandparents.

His mom still lived with them, aside from some of the time in his early childhood where she attended community college for a bit.

She's a very nice woman and did her best but she was mostly clueless about parenting. Even as a small child Crow recognized her insecurity in that area but he still loved her.

His full name is Simon Francis Trevino. At this point he's so used to Crow he actually reacts a millisecond later when someone calls him by his actual name.

He hasn't met his father but at this point he isn't even really interested in the guy. His mom didn't talk about him much either.

Crow got bullied as a kid. He did have some friends in the neighborhood, but not anyone at school. He went to a catholic school that was in a different area, meanwhile his neighborhood friends went to the local public school.

His family is originally from the domican republic, both of his grandparents were born there. His grandfather's family immigrated to the US when he was still a child. His grandmother immigrated to the US as a young adult.

He speaks spanish very poorly, much to his grandparents disappointment.

His grandpa is kinda too into toxic masculinity, he has tried to raise Crow to be "manlier" from day one.

He's also not a fan of the fact that Crow likes other guys but he's not outright disowning him over it. He's just kinda awkward about it.

Same with his grandma, she's leaning on being more accepting though.

Both still prefer to call him "creative" or "different" if it comes up around extended family or neighbors.

Around the time Crow was 13 he got into a fight with a bully over a stolen diary. The fight got more violent than anticipated and the bully ended up hitting Crow's head on the pavement, resulting in his eyebrow scar.

As per tradition in school, they both got expelled for a week for fighting, despite the fact that the bully had been the one stealing Crow's property. The bully was also clearly the one with the upperhand in the situation. Crow did start the fight... cough

Crow had already been lashing out a bit at some of his classmates for the bullying, and after that incident he was officially branded as a "problem child" by the school.

His grandparents made the decision to send him to bullworth academy, partially to set him straight (not like that) and partially to "toughen up" a bit.

Around the same time they, along with Crow's mom, had been planning that she could take full custody of him and move away to learn more independence and also have a more "conventional family life". So instead of just sending Crow to live in the dorms, he and his mom moved to bullworth where they rented an apartment and his mom went on to work from part-time job to job.

She even worked as a maid for the Harrington household for a bit, before being diagnosed with breast cancer and getting fired so that the Harringtons could avoid having to pay any sick leave.

Her cancer was diagnosed late, so it was already at stage IV, and it was one of the more aggressive forms of breast cancer (triple-negative).

Despite getting help from his grandparents, they could barely afford the treatments. Crow started doing odd jobs around town and eventually started selling stuff at school for some more cash. It proved to be more profitable than he initially thought, he was around 14 years old at the time.

Crow and his mom had already made plans to move back to New Jersey to save more money and to be more around family, but she passed away before that could happen.

Crow went back to New Jersey for a bit, attending her funeral and taking a break from school, but after a month he and his grandparents made the decision to send him back to Bullworth where he'd live in the dorms now.

Crow continued his side business at school mainly because he realized he liked the adrenaline rush of doing something that wasn't allowed, and that was before he was even selling cigarettes and alcohol.

At the age of 15 he started getting into that part of his business as well. He also started spending time in his dorm room learning how to forge signatures just to make counterfeit hall passes and such.

He also started smoking because he got too curious about cigarettes. And, well... he already had some packs to sell, might as well try one.

He doesn't stay at bullworth during christmas, preferring to go to his grandparents house.

Even though he spends a most of his time there doing chores and helping around the house.

And even though he doesn't like dressing up to go church every christmas morning.

He still wants to see his family.

And visit his mother's grave.

[jolysuis]

i rewatched empty child and doctor dances yesterday and it's lowkey actually kind of sweet that you can notice the exact moment nine, jack and rose fall in love with each other

rose and nine are already clearly in love [nine particularly, as confirmed by the dalek a few eps prior] but meeting jack kind of shakes up their world a little bit. rose is falling in love with nine and one can argue she's already fallen in love, but with jack it's at first sight. they have a little bit of a tussle over jack for a little bit but they quickly reassure each other that they love each other too, through quiet but clear means

rose falls in love with jack at first sight and, while jack is a bit of a player, he also essentially falls at first sight. he takes care of her and looks after her and it's clear in just how gentle he is with her that he likes her. his jealousy at hearing that rose has a "travel companion" is evident that he loves her. rose is much more evident in how she entirely loses herself around jack, but also trusts him very quickly-- the exact same way she acted with the doctor

nine is a bit different. he also seems a bit jealous of jack, until it clicks for him that jack swings both ways. the moment he realises that jack might be interested not just in her, but also in him, he instantly relaxes and jokes around which confirms to me that he's fallen in love. jack is jealous of nine's whole existence until he meets him, when he falls in love damn near instantly and even cowers behind the doctor-- a clear sign he actually trusts him to protect him, even if he's never met this guy before.

the biggest sign of them all falling in love is the ending. jack is ready to accept his death and he's quite content with it; he shouldn't be, but he is. and then rose and nine come rescue him, and they dance around while jack watches. it's a comfortable confession of love all around. nine is comfortable enough to welcome him in the tardis [which he hasn't done with anyone but rose up to this point], jack instantly goes in despite knowing them so little and watches them dance with a smile on his face, and rose gently teaches nine how to dance without worrying about jealousy or anything else. the moment rose says jack might want this dance and nine says "but who with?" is the final confession; they've all fallen for each other. they are all in love.

[juju-or-anya]

A character I deeply hate in *Game of Thrones* and *A Song of Ice and Fire* isn’t Daenerys, nor Cersei, nor even Sansa (and that’s saying something, as she annoys me quite a bit). No, the character I truly despise is Robert Baratheon.

Robert embodies all the traits that make me think: "I hate men" or "Men disgust me." His entire personality revolves around being a womaniser, a drunk, an overweight man obsessed with the ghost of a dead woman. Lyanna Stark has been in her grave for nearly twenty years, and she still can’t rest in peace because of his sick fixation.

And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. While Robert wasn’t the mastermind of the Rebellion, he was certainly the one who fuelled it. He didn’t do it for the good of the realm or out of any sense of justice; he did it because he couldn’t accept that maybe Lyanna didn’t want to marry him. She preferred to be another man’s lover rather than his wife, and instead of accepting that, he unleashed a war. Lyanna, though raised as a noble lady of the North, had a will of iron and wouldn’t have allowed herself to be kidnapped without a fight (not that she really had a chance to avoid it—after all, she was a fifteen or sixteen-year-old girl facing Rhaegar, a twenty-four-year-old trained warrior—but I think you get my point).

And let’s not even talk about his reaction to the murder and rape of Elia Martell and her children. Robert laughed cruelly when he heard that innocent children, some barely toddlers, had been brutally killed and celebrated that a helpless woman had been raped and murdered. He was happy about it.

Of course, I’m not idealising characters like Lyanna, Elia, or Rhaegar. We can’t sanctify or demonise them because we don’t truly know them. Everything we know about them is filtered through the perspectives of others, some positive, some negative. They’re “told” characters, like Lily and James Potter in Harry Potter, whose backstories depend entirely on others’ memories. But who do we actually know enough about? Robert Baratheon. We know he’s the kind of man who would order the murder of a pregnant girl across the sea—a girl who’d already lost her family and home because of his rebellion. Robert did all this, not because Aerys was a tyrant, but because he was obsessed with the memory of a woman who never loved him.

As for his supposed "love" for Lyanna, he never showed any intention of respecting her, being faithful to her, or actually loving her. He was only in love with the idea of having a beautiful, strong, wild wife he could mould and subdue to his will. Before he was even engaged to Lyanna, he’d already fathered a bastard daughter; and only a few weeks after her death, he had Gendry. So much for his “great” love for Lyanna—he was already fathering children with other women within weeks.

What’s worse is that half the story seems determined to paint him as "the good guy." Give me a break. The realm didn’t entirely collapse during his reign only because of Tywin Lannister’s ambition and the competence of the royal council, who worked tirelessly to maintain stability. None of this was thanks to Robert Baratheon, who barely managed his responsibilities while the realm barely kept itself afloat despite him.

For all these reasons and more, I deeply hate Robert Baratheon.

Edit: I'll stand corrected, because a comment corrected me and they's right. The real hero who kept King Landing stable enough for there to still be a King Landing was Jon Arryn, that man deserved a raise and the biggest statue in the world, as well as putting up with his idiot king.

Edit 2: Re-reading my post, I realized that I made a somewhat fatphobic comment when I talked about Robert's physique and if anyone feels hurt, I truly apologize. I will not delete it, because it will be evident and give me a reason to improve, we are in constant deconstruction and I do not want to delete something bad that I could have said and pretend it never happened, how will I learn if I do that?

[ladyantiheroine]

Rewatching Batman and Batman Returns back-to-back and it's just reminding me why I like Selina as a love interest better than Vicki.

I mean, anyone who follows me already knows I'm a batcat fan, and I don't find Vicki that compelling outside of the TellTale Games version of her. But even beyond my own preferences, Selina is just a better match for Bruce in the Burtonverse overall.

The problem with Vicki is that she's so distant from Bruce's world. Just as Bruce explains in Batman Returns, she couldn't reconcile the two parts of him; Bruce Wayne and Batman. She had "difficulty with his duality," to paraphrase Selina. Part of it is Bruce's unwillingness to open up to another person, but I never got the vibe that Vicki liked Bruce being Batman. When she discovers his identity, she says to him, "I've loved you since I met you, but I don't know what to think of all this." It seemed like she wanted him to just be a normal guy, which of course, he can't be. Even at the end of the movie, she seems to accept Bruce as Batman begrudgingly, as something to tolerate rather than understand.

(At the end of the movie, Alfred tells her that Bruce will be "a little bit late" and she responds with "I'm not a bit surprised." It's meant to be a cute jab, but to me it just seems like she's passively accepted that Bruce's alter ego will always take precedent over her, and that's not very romantic to me)

On top of that, their date scenes are kind of bland, they don't really get to know each other that well, and they don't seem to have much in common. Overall, Vicki is written like a stock love interest, a damsel in distress to scream until Batman saves her. There's not much glue keeping them together.

But Selina on the other hand? She knows what it's like to have a darker alter ago. She knows what it's like to be traumatized and hurt by the criminals of Gotham (Max Shrek and Penguin). She knows what it's like to be a freak. Bruce himself says so in their movie: they're the same, "split down the center." When she finds out Bruce is Batman, she's upset not because she can't reconcile the two halves of him (like Vicki) but because it puts them on opposite sides of the law ("Does this mean we have to start fighting?"). They are perfectly matched but kept apart by outside forces and conflicting priorities, rather than other than lack of communication and compatibility.

On top of that, Bruce and Selina have way more chemistry (bolstered by Keaton and Pfeiffer's performances). On their date, they talk deeply to each other, about their pasts and their desires. They seem to innately connect in a way I never felt with Vicki, who seems to beg Bruce to be normal while he seems borderline bored with her half the time. With Vicki, it's like he's acting out a script. With Selina, it's an organic spark.

Of course, Selina does end up leaving at the end of their story, because she's been pinned down by men for too long and needs to go off on her own. Unlike Vicki, she's not built for the normal "fairy tale castle" life. And because he loves her, Bruce follows the old truth that if you love someone, set them free.

But despite this ending, I buy the tragic love story of Bruce and Selina more than the straightforward Hollywood ending of Bruce and Vicki. The former felt like soulmates torn apart by circumstances, the latter felt like two people who were never going to work in the first place because they weren't compatible.

If you ask me, Vicki was just a stepping stone for Bruce on his way to Selina. She taught him a lesson: He needs someone who will understand him fully and join him in the night, not simply wait for him to return and act "normal" again.

The big difference is this: When the bat signal hits the sky, Vicki is going to stand back and worry.

But Selina Kyle? She's going to grab her whip and join Batman on the battle field by his side.

And at the end of the day, I'd much rather see a badass power couple working together as a team rather than a worried wife sitting at home while her husband goes off and saves the day.

[l-in-the-light]

How does Law deal with his fear of losing loved ones? 😢

Uh, how does he deal with it... Considering what we saw already, I think the answer is "he deals with it badly".

Let's take a closer look at the situations in which he lost people. Fair warning, this will be kinda long and I will go into insufferable number of details, because I feel like it :D Flevance, for starters. First he lost his parents, then his friends from church, then finally his sister, and each time it seems to hit him only harder. One of these traumas would be enough to make you paranoid of losing anyone ever again, but it's a freaking triple portion of that.

Helplessly sitting there in the midst of corpses of his friends, crying and screaming, as if they could still hear him.

His first longterm reaction was losing faith, but not just in religion or god, but "anything". This means he most likely lost faith in people's kindness and compassion (soldiers killing off children and the nun), honesty (again, soldiers tricking the nun and breaking their promise to her to save the children), morality (not even women and kids will be spared), his doctor skills (he didn't manage to save anyone despite being a kid of a doctor), trust in others (because again no one helped him, his parents or anyone else in Flevance. He got out just because he didn't expect to receive any help, he's solely self-dependant at the age of 10 and probably survived on the streets completely by himself too).

Finally, he joined Doflamingo's Family out of desperation, but at first they didn't want to take him in.

He was sitting on a pile of trash, having a really vivid flashback that clearly triggered him and make him lash out at Corazon, full of directionless rage. He was probably thinking they won't accept him into the family after all, so he wanted to take down at least one life of a "scum", as he said it himself.

But even after they accepted him into the family, he's still pretty much expressionless and avoiding getting close with people, which might have been his subconscious self-defense mechanism. If he's not close to anyone, it won't hurt him anymore if anyone dies. He might have been part of the family, getting engaged with his studies and training, but he really didn't grow close with them. Sure, he spends some time with Baby5 and Buffalo, but it seems their interactions are mostly forced by the other kids and didn't start from Law's own initiative.

Like here, "I wasn't asking for [your real names]" and "I only said [my name] because you kept bugging me!". He is not curious about the other kids, he doesn't feel like having fun anymore either (possible sign of depression or traumatic response: suddenly not enjoying things you previously did enjoy). Considering the fact he believes he's gonna die soon, depression would be also pretty much understandable.

Summing it up, at first he dealt with it by putting distance between himself and other people, succumbing to depression, not only feeling like nothing is fun but also thinking it's pointless to even try to change it, and also trying not to think about Flevance (the last part is for self-preserving reasons).

We could see him getting retraumatized over and over again while Corazon dragged him around the different hospitals, and he says it himself: it took so much toll on his mental wellbeing that it even affected his physical health and made the disease progress faster. Anything related to amber lead syndrome and what happened at Flevance, and even just people's reactions to sick people, seem to really affect him in a bad way and psychologically-wise revisit the hell he barely survived.

After he finally got someone he cares about again (Cora-san), he starts to regain his faith in people's kindness and love again (he probably thought no one can love him after he lost every single person who loved him before). Doesn't mean he stops fearing that Cora-san might die and he deals with his fear by constantly worrying about him:

He's so one-track minded about it that he doesn't even pay attention to what Cora-san is telling him. His fear and worry must have been really overwhelming him to the point that he couldn't focus on anything else.

He's blaming himself whenever anyone gets hurt as the result of trying to help him. Later he ever provokes Vergo just so he would harm Law instead of Cora-san, because Law can't deal with the thought that someone dear to him would suffer for his sake or because of his mistake.

Next step is him trying to compensate for the damage. He literally does everything Cora-san wants him to do, even go and talk to a Marine, despite having really hard time doing it (he has bad memories of the Marines and he might have feared them at this point).

Despite promising to stay put, he wants to get out of the chest as soon as he hears gunshots (after all last time it happened, Cora-san ended up badly injured!). But what would he do next, if he truly managed to get out? You can guess it, he would take the blow for Cora-san instead of him. He tried to do the same before, take the beating from Vergo so he stops harming his Cora-san. Law's not beyond self-sacrificing himself if it saves people who are dear to him. He would prefer to die himself than seeing them die (especially for his sake) and not being able to do anything about it.

That's why he says this despite the fact he's in such a bad state he can't move. But he doesn't worry about himself, only about his crew's wellbeing (they can't die on him!).

It's the same in Dressrosa. He either sacrifices himself for them so they can escape (he almost died there, lost his arm, was buying time for Luffy; all of these actions count as sacrifice), or he dies together with them. Technically, what Bepo did by saving him makes Law 100% re-live his past trauma again.

And since trauma is a vicious cycle, that means he might go back to his previous stages after he lost to Blackbeard: putting distance between himself and people, keeping people dear to him safe (which means away from him), trying to focus the possible backlash on himself instead of on them. Generally, he would make sure they don't get harmed for his sake. He might go on another solo mission, leaving his crew behind, just like he did for Dressrosa and Punk Hazard (until he stumbled upon Strawhats, but he also wanted to break the alliance before they get too engaged into his plan, despite barely knowing them).

That could potentially also make us better understand his refusal to get saved by Luffy back in Dressrosa, especially after Law made sure that Doflamingo lashes out at him, not Luffy and the Strawhats, sacrificing himself for them and buying time.

He also deals with his fear by being overprotective. What could he even do for Luffy here if someone attacks them? He couldn't even move or stand up! He would protect Luffy simply by bodyblocking, taking harm in his place... His own survival or wellbeing be damned.

So the second phase of him dealing with his fear of losing people is being overprotective of them, pushing them out of harm's way even at the cost of his own wellbeing or life (sometimes that means tucking them away in a safe place, sometimes it means taking the damage on himself in their place), and agreeing with anything and everything to compensate for putting them in danger, as long as it doesn't harm them. For example, they want to carry them for half of Dressrosa in uncool fashion? So be it, as long as they're not in danger.

That's Law's way of dealing with his fear at it's worst. At it's best though? Hearts and Luffy taught him again how to have faith in people. Bepo, Penguin and Shachi (and Wolf) opened his heart after he had again no one left (second time in his life already) and simply were there for him, and he returned the favour. He lived in quite a peaceful town so for a while he didn't have to worry about losing them (though he had to save their lives twice anyway, always overdoing himself in the process and doing everything by himself, because he couldn't mentally handle the possibility of losing them). Yet soon after trouble in the town happened, he decided it's time to leave the island for good and maybe it wasn't just a coincidence; his fear of losing people might have finally pushed him to take that step.

Law also trusted Luffy to deal with the Sanji's situation on his very own. He could have gone with Luffy to Whole Cake Island, simply because he was worried sick and afraid he might lose him, but he chose to *have faith* in him instead and to wait for him in Wano. What's the difference between this situation and Dressrosa? I guess the urgency. In a normal situation, he can convince himself that it's okay and people won't die on him, if he tries hard enough to fight his fear. Perhaps he also takes some measures to prevent bad stuff from happening, to calm his mind (could he help Luffy in any way on the Whole Cake Island despite not being there by himself? Who knows. But I wouldn't put it past him). But when the situation is dire, he loses to that fear and does really reckless things to protect people. Thankfully, he still has enough awareness to not die on people either, but at times it gets alarmingly close (again, nearly dying in Dressrosa, putting himself in jail in exchange for freeing his Hearts in Wano).

Third time's the charm, let's see how he reacts after the scare of losing his crew to Blackbeard and probably believing, yet again, this is all his fault, because he's the captain and responsbile for their wellbeing. What do you think, after Law lost did the Heart Pirates throw themselves between him and the enemy to protect him?

Because I think they did, 100% certain of it. Law would take it really badly. He would feel like he's again in his past, having to watch his parents and sister and kids dying, or Cora-san being shot to death, and Law again can't do anything about it. That ought to crank up his fear of losing people to 1000%. We can't really expect rational behaviour out of him as the result. I think he will do anything to never repeat it again, and that doesn't mean training like crazy with his crew, but instead leaving them behind so they're out of the harm's way. It is definitely not one of his better days, in which his faith in people will win over his fear of losing them.

I don't know how much he's bluffing when he says things like that, both in Dressrosa and Wano, but even if he himself doesn't always believe in this, just him saying it to others means a lot. Also faith in others doesn't have to be "blind faith". I think it's unreasonable to expect Law to have blind faith in *anything* after what he went through in his life. But he seems to never doubt Luffy, for example, and that's also a sign of his belief in him. Doesn't mean he won't worry his ass over him or that he won't become overprotective, because one doesn't exclude the other :)

And a bonus: how I wish Law dealt with his fear instead. I want him to have a strong crew that he can have faith in to take care of themselves, to trust his dear people to prioritize their own survival (even if it's Usopp's style!) so he won't have to worry for them dying for the cause. And he should definitely stay close to Luffy, because they both having self-sacrificing tendencies and they both worry about each other so much. They can learn together how to be better about it. But Law's fear will always come back in worst situations, because something so deeply rooted can't just go away and never resurface. I'm sure he can manage it better though, we saw him doing that in Zou!