#and any au lucifer does not spend his time lifting. he’s too busy not going to therapy and getting into arguments with random people over
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it’s why i like writing my own smut because it means im allowed to put in details for me and talk about hairy tummies and stretch marks and fat rolls and all the things that make human bodies so fantastic to look at and think about
#and it means the abs can’t sneak up on me because im in control#sorry just remembered i was reading samifer fic earlier today#like older samkfer fic. 2013? anyway. the author described lucifer as having a flat muscled stomach and it hit me like a sack of fish.#hilarious. no he does not <3#canonverse lucifer has nick who did not work out and was fully domesticated and softened up#and any au lucifer does not spend his time lifting. he’s too busy not going to therapy and getting into arguments with random people over#nothing on the bus and stalking sam across his college campus
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Demon Brothers and Mid-Autumn Festival
Happy early 中秋節 !This spawned from me crying over pretty mooncake packaging. And then I fell into a hole of matching the boys to boxes and this Mildy AU stuff happened. Uh... so I know this isn’t the only way to celebrate Mid-Autumn Festival, but it’s mostly based on my experiences and nostalgia. So excuse the super self-indulgence and have fun~ I tried to include links to things that might need some more explaining.
It’s my first time writing headcanons so pls be gentle on me .・゚゚・(/ω\)・゚゚・.
Lucifer
“Mid-autumn festival? I may have heard of this before in passing.”
“What is this? A Jewelry box?”
Don’t tell him how long you went looking for the perfect packaging and flavor.
Doesn’t celebrate the whole week, but will at least sit down with you for a night to share mooncakes
Prefers them without the yolk, but he’s not going to complain if they’re there.
Neatly cuts the mooncake into quarters and has to have it with tea
Likes the wintermelon filled kind the best. The chewy texture goes better with tea.
He’ll make an exception for black sesame lotus paste though
Unfortunately too busy to do any sort of moon viewing with you since he’s swamped with paperwork.
At least he’ll share mooncake and tea with you while he does it
Keeps the box and actually uses it as a lamp from time to time
You find out he’s using the tins to store wax seals and stamps too
He doesn’t have time for it, but appreciates the small bottle of osmanthus wine you leave at his door at the end of the festival.
Finds you a month later on the next full moon to sit down and drink it with you. Offer him a Laopo Bing or leftover mooncake to go with it as a snack. (Of course there’s leftover mooncake)
You share tea and cakes while sitting on a pavilion overlooking a lake. The moon’s reflected on the surface. Lotus flowers are blooming and the sounds of cicadas are in the distance. Wispy clouds float past the full moon but don’t really hinder its brightness.
He brushes a stray strand of hair out of the way before maybe sneaking in a kiss or two. He’s much more entranced by how you look lit by the moon and not the moon itself.
Mammon
Got gifted a box of them from a designer as a gift after a photoshoot
You may or may not ogle at how pretty the packaging is. He teases you and taunts you with it. Of course they would only gift something so majestic to The Great Mammon.
Doesn’t bother cutting into them, just eats them like a cookie
Until he gets to the yolk
“The heck is this? Who puts salted egg yolks into a sweet thing?”
Looks up how much the mooncake box from a designer might sell for.
So many gifted mooncakes
But he doesn’t eat any, unless you show interest in them.
You find chocolate flavored ones among all the boxes
Still doesn’t cut the mooncake up, but at least there’s enough to share. He’s less traumatized now that he’s had one that doesn’t have yolks in it.
Spends the rest of the night sampling all of the weird ‘haute couture’ flavors of the year.
The strangest one is the truffle and ham flavored one.
He nearly spits that one in your face
Both of you are rushing to the kitchen to find something to wash away that taste.
Thankfully there’s the bottle of Osmanthus wine you’ve saved for this occasion
He takes a giant gulp and nearly gags at how strong it is.
Now you have a partially tipsy Mammon on your hands.
Take him out on a long moonlit walk to get him sober.
The air is crisp, the moon is bright, the leaves are just starting to turn color. There’s just a hint of dampness in the air but it’s refreshing. He takes your hand as you’re walking to make sure you don’t wander off.
Ends the night kissing your forehead and thanking you for sharing so many memories with him this year.
Doesn’t try to keep any of the boxes and tries to sell them all off if he can unless you find one that catches your fancy, then he’ll just give that one to you.
Leviathan
“Oh my gosh, it’s the Super Rare Limited Edition Ruri-Chan as Chang’e mooncake box?!?!?!?!?!?!”
He doesn’t care what the flavor is. It’s Ruri-chan
Takes more care of the box than he does the actual mooncake.
Prefers the small custard filled/lava ones
They’re easier for snacking while he’s prepping for a raid.
Raids don’t stop for holidays. Gaming must continue
Invites you to join him one night and gifts you the limited equipment from the current Mid-Autumn festival event in game.
“It’ll look cuter on your character than mine.” Don’t question him on how long it took him to farm that gear.
You end up playing games with him all night long and forget to watch the moon.
Instead, the two of you decide to just watch the sun rise while snacking on the last of the cakes.
Tea is in order, those things got really sweet really fast.
The two of you are so loopy from staying up all night, you giggle at the dumbest things as you’re trying to sneak into the kitchen to get something to drink.
“How long did you wait in line for that box?”
Don’t tell him you just pre-ordered it like a normal person would. “Oh, maybe a few hours.”
“Well, I guess I owe you a few hours of time as a thank you.”
You nearly forget that tea’s done and almost wake up the house from the whistling kettle. Worth it for all the kisses you got in between that time though.
Satan
“Oh yes, of course I’m familiar with the festival. I’ve read all about it.”
He’s rather fascinated with how ornate the packaging can get for some sweets. “What’s so special about them?”
Red bean paste with the yolk
Cuts the mooncake into six
Lets you eat on the bed as long as you make sure you don’t get crumbs anywhere.
His room literally has the best view of the moon. It’s mandatory that you watch it from there.
Lets you gaze at the moon from his bed while he reads.
Until you interrupt him and start reciting Li Bai’s Quiet Night Thought. Mostly it’s to yourself out of homesickness
Moonlight before my bed/ Perhaps frost on the ground/ Lift my head and see the moon/ Lower my head and I miss my home.
And then you start reciting “Drinking Alone Under The Moon”
You really start drinking and living the drunken poet life.
“You know, you’re not alone though.”
He finally puts the book aside and joins you to watch the moon and listen to you recite poetry for hours on end.
Asks you about Chang’e and listens as you drunkenly ramble off her story all the while nibbling on pieces of mooncake. He offers you the occasional piece so you’re not drinking so much on an empty stomach.
Keeps the box and the tins but has no idea what to put in them so they end up gathering dust in the room until one day he needs something to put spell components in and he remembers it exists.
Spends the week watching the moon and listening to you recite poetry or tell fairy stories.
Often falls asleep in your lap, a half eaten piece of mooncake in hand.
Invites you over for moonviewings even after the festival.
Asmodeus
He can't tell if he should be more impressed by the packaging or by the cake designs.
Snowskin mooncakes become his favorite
Rose and lychee flavors are preferred
He adores how pretty crystal mooncakes are as well
Absolutely no yolks please
Refuses to watch the moon with you. Staying up late will ruin his skin care routine
He will day drink the osmanthus wine you’ve save to go with the mooncakes while you watch operas
It sounds weird to him at first, but the makeup and the costumes draw him in.
Cries at the end of Farewell My Concubine
You end up spending hours telling him about the Four Beauties and China’s Four Most Handsome Men
He’s upset that all of the stories end in tragedy
You try to cheer him up by going to a local festival and watch the lanterns and other festivities
Gets super invested in lantern making and spends hours learning how to make one to hang up in his room.
While he’s gone, go buy him some Tanghulu Not only can he appreciate the bright red hawthorns, but they’re a delicious snack on the go while you let him explore the whole festival.
The two of you spend hours looking at cute packaging for mooncakes and buying them back for the others. He’s happiest with the one you gifted him though.
Okay, maybe he can stay up late to look at the moon just this once.
Take a small picnic to a grassy hill somewhere so you can admire the moon in its full glory. Most of the snacks are rice cakes and fruit and of course more moonakes. (Seriously, there’s so much mooncake)
He knows he’s supposed to be watching the moon, but he finds it easier and better to watch you instead. You’re just as ethereal as Chang’e in the silvery light of the night.
Definitely keeps the mooncake box and uses it to hold parts of his makeup collection. It fits right into his room decor.
Beelzebub
You get him the biggest box with the most variety that you can find so he can try as many flavors as possible.
He ends up liking the kind that tastes like Gai Zhai Beng (Sorry, I don’t know what this is in English?) with all the nuts the most since they’re the heartiest.
Actually, he likes all of the more savory ones
If it’s sweet, it should have yolks. Four of them if they have those, if not, he’ll settle with the Cantonese style with two yolks.
You take him to the festivals so he can try even more flavors
The best part is that you get to try them as well. He offers you at least a bite before downing the rest of the mooncake.
Do the two of you go around eating everything until you feel like you’re about to burst? Absolutely.
If you can’t see anything that’s going on during the performances at the festival, he’ll lift you onto his shoulder to get a better view.
With how much time you spend at the festival and how much you’ve eaten, you don’t know if you can stay up late to watch the moon like you want to.
He lets you piggyback on the walk home
The sound of a pipa song from the festival echoes in your brain and you hum the song while half asleep on the way home. He gets it stuck in his head for the next month and a half.
Worth it though, it means he’s reminded of the great time he had with you and all the food he got to try.
Now he’s constantly asking you if you can make him mooncakes.
Literally forgets the box and tins exist until he’s cleaning out his room for hidden snacks months later.
Almost forgot about the osmanthus wine you gifted him as well. He hits you up on the next full moon to drink it while eating snacks and you get to tell him about all the legends behind the foods he’s eaten.
“Next time, I’ll make you Crossing the Bridge Noodles.”
“What’s the story behind that?”
“I’ll tell you when I make them.”
“Is that a promise?”
“Of course.”
Belphegor
Thinks a fairy must have visited him in his dreams when he rolls over and finds the box of mooncakes next to his pillow
Sleeps all day so he can watch the moon all night with you.
Expect tons of cuddles while doing that
Find out when he’s halfway through eating the box that he prefers tang yuan over mooncakes
He covets the box you gave him regardless
Maybe you make the tang yuan with a little extra ginger to spite him
Too bad for you, he prefers it that way.
Convinces you that the gardens is the best place for moon viewing
He’s right since there’s an osmanthus tree there and it smells absolutely amazing this time of the year.
His favorite dessert is pretty much impossible to transport, so he’ll have to deal with what you brought.
Ends up quite liking sachima but not jin dui
Beel drank the last of your celebratory osmanthus wine, it’s time to break out the baijiu
It takes only a few sip of this to have you both tipsy and slurring superlatives at the moon.
“She’s just so beautiful. Look at her. So radiant and glowing and just the most magnificent isn’t she?”
“I can’t tell if you’re describing the moon or if you’re describing yourself.”
“The moon. Of course. She’s so beautiful that poems are written about her for thousands of years.”
“I could do that for you too you know…”
The two of you end up falling asleep in the garden under the tree. By the time you two wake up, you’re both covered in the tiny fragrant blossoms
Take some back with you to make cakes and maybe some more wine to remind you of the lovely night you had.
#Obey me!#Obey me Headcanons#Obey me HCs#Might do the undatables later#this took way more time than I expected#I just really want soft moon viewing times with them okay?#just soft things ; ;#pls let this do well#I know maybe all of 2 people would relate to this#Don't let my hours of staring at boxes go to waste pls#a lot of this was written at like 3AM#It likely doesn't make sense#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me leviathan#obey me satan#obey me asmodeus#obey me beelzebub#obey me belphegor
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