#and also wills in danger AGAIN like joyce has to say something

[sade-alicious]

“byler heart to heart” “wheeler siblings heart to heart” “jancy” “og party” WHAT ABOUT JOYCE AND WILL??

[thestrangestthing89]

Mike and El's Codependent Relationship Part 2

Part 1 here

Their relationship then shifts into a romantic codependent one. It's clear the two do not have good boundaries - they are not hanging out with each other to get to know each other or spending time with their friends. They are isolated and making out with each other all day. It's not solely because of their trauma. Mike's behavior also comes from internalized homophobia which wrote about here. El's comes from the fact that she doesn't know how to have relationships. She thinks her and Mike are supposed to reenact the soap operas that she watched and she doesn't know how to have a friend.

Max is the first person to push her to realize that she should be thinking about things that she likes and that her whole life can't be about Mike. Hopper tried to do this too, but having another girl her age say it got her to listen. Because now she has a friend who can help her learn how to navigate being a teen in a way that she can relate to. Max is a great influence on her. She gets her to try new things and think for herself outside of her relationship with Mike (and Hopper).

This is the first time we see her acting like a normal 14 year old kid. And she seems to realize this because when Mike is making excuses and blaming Hopper she shuts him down. She's not mad at Hopper for separating them. She realizes that he was right and she was missing out on a great friendship with Max by spending all of her time with Mike.

And honestly Mike realizes this, too. Will getting upset with him is a wake up call. He's not willing to lose Will and immediately tries to apologize and fix their relationship all while making the bare minimum of effort trying to restore his relationship with El (usually only when Lucas is nearby. It's performative.)

Later, Mike is protective of her and trying to get the group to understand that they shouldn't solely rely on her powers every time they have a problem. He's correct about this but he goes about it in a gatekeeping way - it's her decision not his. They don't trust each other and El knows this because she has to ask him to trust her. And he needs a prompt from Max to agree.

She feels like she has to fix the problem with Billy and he feels responsible for her because she sacrificed herself for them in season 1. Her guilt and trauma from opening the upside-down is driving her behavior, and his guilt and trauma from using her to find Will is driving his.

Hopper dying and the Byers moving away sets El back. She made all this great progress finding herself and forming a new friendship and suddenly everything is getting taken away. The only stable home she's known is getting ripped from her. It's unclear of the reason why they are moving. I know Joyce was thinking about it before Hopper died, but it also seems like they move because El is in danger still. This constant stress of being hunted by the lab isn't good for her. It gets in the way of her having a normal life.

All of this trauma is once again what drives El back to Mike. She is clinging to something familiar. And Mike is once again confused that she is trying to start a romantic relationship. They don't have a conversation about it and his opinion isn't asked for. She's reenacting her soap opera's again and doesn't realize that Mike isn't in the same place as her.

So when we pick up in season 4, El realizes something is off with Mike. He's not telling her things that she needs to hear and she isn't understanding why. But she's pretending everything is fine and lying. She's upset with him and confronts him about it, but he's uncomfortable and dismisses her. They don't communicate well because they never learned to. At this point, they have had plenty of chances to establish a friendship and an emotional connection but they haven't. It makes it difficult for them to talk to each other about why they are upset.

I want to stress here that this isn't solely on Mike. El unilaterally makes decisions about their relationship each time they get back together. She never asks for his opinion and what he wants and it's because she doesn't know what healthy relationship dynamics look like. Mike on the other hand is dealing with his own problems regarding his sexuality and it's what causes him to use her as a shield to hide behind. But he does know what healthy relationship dynamics are because he has this with Will. They communicate well and have emotional maturity.

By season 4 he is done pretending but their lack of communication skills with each other make it difficult for him to explain himself to her. They dismiss each other and shut each other down. He still wants her in his life but he doesn't know if she needs him in hers. So he feels insecure about why she would even want to be his friend because they never established a friendship before. If they had, neither of them would be feeling so insecure about this relationship. She's only ever the superhero and never a girl, and he needs her to need him in the way that he played the Paladin in seasons 1 and 2.

I do think moving forward, they are both now in the same place. They want this romantic relationship over. They coexist in the way that people who have shared trauma and nothing else in common do. They don't want to let each other go because they've been through so much together.

El went on another journey of self-discovery and I think it helped her to realize that there are a lot of things from her past that she needs to deal with and having a boyfriend is getting in the way of that. Brenner dying also provided her with closure and pushed her to start seeing herself as more than a superhero or a monster. As for Mike, I don't believe he ever wanted a romantic relationship with her. No one ever asks what his feelings are they just assume it. I think he is going to be more focused on Will next season, while El continues on her independent journey. But I honestly believe these two need to spend time apart. They had a very unhealthy dynamic and it hurt them both. They need to have a better sense of self before they can form any kind of friendship.

They both grow and have healthier, more mature relationships with other people (Mike with Will and El with Max). I think the show has been setting them up to be independent of each other in the final season. El needs to focus on her family and friends - something that she wanted from the start - and Mike needs to focus on himself and his relationship with Will now that he has a comfortable sense of his identity. They both deserve a chance to explore these parts of themselves.

[tirednerd2012]

Can you talk more about why you think Lonnie physically abused Jonathan/Will? Or your thoughts on him in general.

Trigger warning for mentions of emotional and physical abuse.

So, I truly hate Lonnie. He is a piece of shit that never deserved Joyce, Jonathan or Will. I remember there was a scene in the first season where Hopper is showing a picture of Will to one of the townspeople and he was like "no, that's Lonnie's boy" I was RAGING.

To start off with Jonathan because I already started talking about this previously. He has said to Jonathan "you've gotten stronger" which implies that he has physically fought Jonathan at least once. He made him kill a rabbit when he was a kid, which has led to him not wanting to use a gun. The only time he was willing was when he didn't know how good of a shot Nancy was, but he was hunting something that took his brother. Other than that, he has stayed away from them, where Will knows how to load a shotgun and he was ready to use it in the first episode. Jonathan was forced to grow up as a kid because he was the oldest and his family needed him. He had to be a safe place for Will. We see this when Lonnie and Joyce are arguing in another room and he promptly shuts the door and turns the music up so Will doesn't have to hear it. And he was the one to explain to Will that he shouldn't have to like things because Lonnie said he did. Jonathan holds more anger against Lonnie than Will does, which is something else that I feel proves my theory. Also, again, Jonathan looked for Will in Lonnie's trunk. He searched every room and called for Will's name and berated Lonnie with how he probably didn't even know what Will looked like anymore. His father didn't know about his dream school, what he likes, nothing. And Jonathan didn't seem to care to have his dad know what was going on, showing they don't have a good relationship. I also believed that Hawkins would be in southern Indiana, which would make a trip to Indianapolis at least a two hour drive, but I could be wrong about it, it just feels very southern Indiana in my opinion. But he made that trip thinking there was a chance Will was there and didn't listen to Hopper because Will could think he was in trouble, but if Will didn't know how abusive/dangerous Lonnie was, Jonathan could have genuinely been worried that Will was in danger/hurt, so he didn't hesitate to blow Hopper's orders off.

I also think that if Lonnie was physically abusive towards anyone (and he does show signs) that it would have been Jonathan and not when Joyce was around, because if Joyce thought her kids were in physical danger, she would have shut it down. But if he told Jonathan that if he left, the family would suffer, Jonathan wouldn't say anything. Lonnie blows up and goes off, and I don't think Jonathan would let Will be at the end of it, rather taking it himself to better his family.

For Will, I don't think he was ever physically abused by Lonnie, but definitely emotionally. And Will was so young he didn't even realize it was abuse. Lonnie failed to get Jonathan to be the man he wanted him to be (though Jonathan is twice the man Lonnie could ever dream of being) so he focused that energy on Will. Will knew how to load a gun. He seemed ready to shoot the Demogorgon. He tried to get Will to like basketball games and stuff like that, and Will agreed because he wanted to be around his dad. Jonathan was the first person we see that validates Will's interests and straight up tells him Lonnie is wrong. I'm sure as Will got older and started looking back, he realized what was going on.

For Joyce, he berated her. He manipulated her. He caused her so much pain and then when Jonathan and Will didn't turn out the way he wanted them to, he didn't hesitate to leave. He willingly left his kids and then paints their mother out to be the bad guy and blames her for Will's disappearance, even though she was the one that was constantly there for them. He took charge of the funeral and made it seem like he was there to support his family, but he just wanted to gain money from Will's death. He didn't care that his youngest son was dead. He showed Joyce minimum compassion so she didn't kick him out. He showed Jonathan zero sympathy for someone who was sure Will was gone. He told him not to make this day harder than it had to be, even though Jonathan was the one that was there for Will and raised him more than Lonnie ever did. Then he had the nerve, after finding out his son was DEAD, to tell Jonathan to take a poster down because it was inappropriate. He tried to take control of Jonathan and show dominance towards him because he knew Jonathan would see right through the "compassion" bullshit and if Joyce wasn't in such a bad state of mind, she would have to. He took advantage of what could have been their most difficult day.

Also, does he even know Will is alive? Did he bother to tell his son he was glad he was okay? He didn't fucking mourn the death of his child, he just acted like he did. Even if you don't talk to your child, do you not feel pain when something happens to them? Would you not want to hug your last living child and try to remedy that relationship before it's too late? Lonnie is fucking heartless and only looked after himself.

[okaybutlikeimagine]

(tumblr won’t let me respond to asks directly so we’re screenshotting them till further notice  🤷)(i had the WHOLE THING typed out w/ the italics fixed into the ask and i copied it so i wouldn’t have to go through and put the italics again and then my DUMBASS SELF went to copy a fucking SHRUG EMOJI and now i have to put the italics in again. good thing i do all this stuff on a separate google doc bc i’m a moron and would have lost the whole thing just now. anyway)

Hi!!! I’m crying bc you fucking KNOW that Billy would get so fucking embarrassed!!

Bc Billy is prideful!! I’m telling you, that boy has some Leo in his chart or something bc if anyone so much as smiles at a joke at his expense, he gets defensive. And that’s not to say that he doesn’t banter back and forth with Robin, and that’s not to say that he and Steve don’t give insults that sound like endearments, and that’s not to say that he and Jonathan don’t rib each other amicably… but it’s different. Pride is a very different thing.

Bc Billy is legit like a little lion cub. (AKA every Leo i know, therefore Billy has Leo in his chart, don’t @ me) it’s an almost juvenile kind of attachment to pride. Like a baby lion cub who’s just getting their mane in but holds their head like they’ve got the biggest one in the pride, it’s a little childish (as much as he may not want to admit it).

And it’s really not Billy’s fault. That’s what he’ll tell you. That’s what he’ll tell anyone. It’s not his fault he’s a brat and he’ll shrug his shoulders and he’ll continue to be rude/bratty and for some people (Steve) it’s charming and for others (almost everyone else) it’s tolerable but for Jim���. It’s…. It’s upsetting. Jim doesn’t like to be seen as “controlling” or a “hardass” or whatever but he’s not sure how he can just ignore when Billy is being disrespectful. Even if it’s only slightly. bc like…. He feels like he needs to be a good dad and good dads make sure their kids grow up to be good people, right??? Which isn’t to say he thinks Billy is a bad person but he worries because, like every parent, his biggest fear is fucking up. He didn’t get a whole lot of practice with Sara. and after her death he couldn’t help but think of every time he slipped up. Every time his wife soothed his hair and said: “We have time to get it right.” every day that passed with Sara in the hospital where he realized she was wrong.

And i’m SO sorry for getting into that but I think that really influences how Hop parents now! The man was broken and then just…. Acquired a 12 year old. And then a 17 YEAR OLD?? Like… the man would be Confused as to how to proceed. And then THIS happens…

Bc Billy has mood swings. Billy is a teenager and also the human version of a bratty little cat that puffs his chest out and ruffles his own fur and may leave a few scratches but is ultimately harmless (esp now that he has a nice, loving family!!) and so they’re at the dinner table and the boys are talking about their grades and whatnot and Billy may be a little pouty. Because maybe Billy didn’t study as hard as he should have for his last history test. He just thinks history is so stupid. He’d rather read a book or do 100 math problems. What’s history gonna teach him?? He doesn’t need to know any more about plagues.

So he says that.

Jonathan’s talking about how well he did on his essay and Will is talking about how he did on his math test and Billy’s pushing carrots around when Joyce asks: “How’s school for you, Billy?”

“Just peachy keen.” he sneers down at his plate. Hop tuts harshly.

“Hey.” Hop chastises, only serving to make Billy’s blood boil more.

“What?”

“Calm down.”

“I’m plenty calm.” Billy snaps back, but it’s quiet. He shoves a sliced carrot in his mouth.

“Have you had any tests or anything lately?” Joyce asks calmly, in that motherly voice she always gives that makes Billy’s mind swirl a bit.

“Yup.”

“Billy-” Hop warns and it makes Billy sit straight up, but give a challenging look in Hop’s direction as he says, loudly:

“Yes, ma’am.”

Joyce stops asking, but she sends a look to Hop, who’s still caught in a staredown with Billy. Billy can’t see her look, but he wouldn’t understand it if he could, because it says: Hop, cut it out.

And the conversation shifts to significant others and then Joyce is smiling kindly at El and asking about her and Mike and maybe Hop is pouting but he’s not gonna draw attention to himself bc Joyce will just hit him like she always does when he’s pouting over their kids dating (specifically El). And Jonathan is smirking a bit into his dinner but Will is visibly uncomfortable as El gushes about Mike before complaining that he doesn’t come over enough and that she doesn’t go out enough and Billy gets irritated. Why should he and Will have to listen to this when they don’t want to??

And he mutters something, darkly. Something about Mike and El and “ungrateful little brats”.

And everyone hears. He only half means it, but they don’t really think that far.

And Hop shoots a look his way before chewing on a carrot rather aggressively.

“Somethin’ to say?”

Billy gives Hop a challenging stare, but he backs down as soon as he starts it.

“No sir.” He mutters harshly.

“Then behave.”

“How about you and Steve, sweetie?” It’s Joyce. Being sweet.

“Happy as can be.” It sounds bitter the way he says it because it is. They got in a fight today. A little one, but enough to make Billy taste something sour in his mouth when he thinks about it. He figures they’re gonna make up just fine tomorrow, no flowers or empty promises needed, just another heated conversation followed by a heated make out in the front seat of Billy’s Camaro. Maybe followed by a serious talk that’ll make Billy’s face heat up because he still can’t believe this boy has Billy wrapped around his finger so fucking tight.

“Yeah, well Officer Callahan says you and Harrington have-”

“You know his name.” Billy growls, resting his fork on the plate.

“Steve. You and Steve have been running around empty fields a lot lately.”

“And?” Billy’s vision is turning red. It’s tunneling a bit.

“And what’s that all about?”

“Don’t really wanna give you all the dirty details.” Billy shoves some meatloaf in his mouth. Hop’s looking at him like he’s a hassle and Billy’s proud of it.

“You guys shouldn’t be doing that. Someone’s gonna say something.”

“And?” Billy’s getting madder. He puts his fork down with a loud clang.

“And you’re gonna cause problems-”

“For you?” Billy seethes, leaning forward a bit, just willing Hop to say it.

“For yourselves.”

“Oh yeah?” Billy asks, leaning back in his chair, blood boiling hot. “Well what about the little twerps?”

Billy nods over to El, who makes a whining noise.

“Hey!” She calls, face pouting.

“What about them?”

"I just don't think it's very fair that it's safe for them and not us." Billy growls, gritting his teeth, eyebrows low.

"That's not true."

"It's safe for everyone else but us!" He’s mad. He’s mad bc him and Steve have argued about this before. Argued about how there’s no real point in being together if they have to hide all the time. That one time when they saw Cindy and Jason being grossly affectionate in public and Billy grabbed Steve’s ass and Steve got mad. They fought for a few days and it ended with them laying in Hansen’s big empty field, on the outskirts of town, talking in dreamy, far away voices about how one day they’d move to California bc “It’s not like this there… trust me, babe. It’ll be so much better.”

Billy’s vision tunnels more. All he sees is Hop in different shades of red. He forgets where he is. He’s livid, thinking about El and Mike and Cindy and Jason and Tommy and Carol and Nancy and Jonathan and he’s going to scream. His heart is racing with disdain.

"You know it's still dangerous for El to go out." Hop warns.

"You know that's not what I meant."

"Look... kid-"

"I'm not a fucking kid." Billy growls, leaning forward even more.

"Language!" Hop’s voice is booming and Billy’s had about enough of this. He resents being told off like a kid.

"Sorry! Excuse the fuck out of me!" He’s snarling and Hop seems about as livid as Billy feels.

"Go to your room!"

"Fine!" Billy yells, shoving his chair back and standing up, turning to Joyce for the first time all dinner and seeing her eyes full of… concern. He doesn’t know how to feel about it. Something in his chest heaves at the sight. His eyes flick over to Jonathan and then to El and then to Will…. And then his chest tightens. He looks away just as quickly.

He thanks Joyce quietly for dinner, mumbling it a bit but he thinks the sentiment is clear enough. He drops his plate off next to the sink and storms off to his room, slamming the door with probably too much force but everything’s on his mind and he has the right to be a brat if he wants.

It’s just that he hates just sitting here with nothing to do but think about everything. He doesn’t even have his stereo to listen to music with bc he gave his to El until she can get a new one bc hers broke and her nightmares have been bad recently. Listening to music before bed calms her down. Billy didn’t say anything about his own nightmares or his own need for music before bed. He wishes he had now that he’s laying in bed, about ready to rip his sheets to shreds bc he’s boiling. He feels like a storm but, to any outsider, he looks like a toddler- red-faced from a tantrum and fidgeting and bubbling like a shaken up soda bottle.

He’s so mad he can’t even do anything. The minutes pass in sticky but frantic moments of anger and thoughts and memories and the only thing his body will let him do is just sit there. Lay in his bed and pull at his covers and fall into thoughts and think about Hop reprimanding him like that and how awful it was and how red and angry he looked and how he sent him to his room like a kid and… and how Joyce looked so worried…. And how that same look was in Jonathan’s eyes…. And Will’s…. That same worried, concerned look. They all three have the same eyes- Lonnie be damned. Those boys share their mother’s eyes and all of the emotion that goes within them and it makes… it makes Billy mad he’s mad about it he knows he’s mad and-

And…

And he calms down a bit. Calms down enough to do what Steve told him to do when he gets angry and stressed and doesn’t know what to do with himself. Because Steve’s family is “well-traveled” and Steve knows all these weird little things from all these cool different countries.

So Billy takes out his notebook and rips a couple pieces of paper out (bc he saves the fancy paper Steve gave him for when he’s actually trying) and does some origami. Bc Steve said it’d help him to do something with his hands and this is something he can do quietly, in his room, without being destructive. ”It’ll help, I promise!”

The hardest part is making a perfect square, bc it takes too much patience and usually Billy doesn’t have that. But he’s just doing this to calm down so he eyeballs it as he cuts the paper and starts to fold what he knows, which is either a heart or a crane. Those are the only 2 things Steve has taught him that he knows off hand w/o the instructions or Steve guiding him through it.

There’s more crumpled paper on the ground than folded paper on his desk but Steve had assured him that was more than okay. It’s kind of the point, he figures. Crumpling and ripping up the paper is almost as nice as folding it to make something, and it makes actually making something feel even better when it happens.

He’s sitting there, on his 3rd heart, when there’s a small knock on the door.

“Go away.” He calls, realizing that the paper he cut isn’t a perfect square bc the corners won’t match.

“It’s Will.”

Billy pauses a bit. He goes back to folding his paper, not caring about the corners bc it’s not bad enough to start over. He doesn’t say anything.

He hears the door open.

“Do you think ‘go away’ doesn’t mean you?”

“Does it?” Will asks, voice earnest. Billy looks up to see his face matches.

Billy sighs, the harsh feeling in his chest softens a bit at the boy in his doorway. He turns back to his folding.

“What do you want? And close the door.”

“I wanted to ask if you wanna come listen to records with me.” Will says, closing the door behind him.

“I don’t think they want me out there.” Billy folds his paper with his fingernail to make it sharp. It burns his thumb a bit.

“That’s not true.” Will says, taking a few steps closer. “Mom told Hop… Dad he shouldn’t have done that.”

And that makes Billy mad. He’s not even sure why. It’s a heat in his chest and his face that feels like anger and he messes up his fold and he’s just… he’s confused and he’s red and all he can think about is Will saying “mom”. Not “my mom” just “mom” and also “dad” like he’s theirs and Billy can’t understand it still and he smashes the paper into a ball in his hand-

“I don’t need your mom defending me.” Billy says harshly, spitting the words out like he hates them, chucking the paper on the ground. He’s too aware of the way Will flinches a bit at his harshness. He takes a deep breath.

“Uh... “ Will’s fidgeting. Billy feels bad. He sighs.

“I don’t have my stereo.” Billy leans back, running a tired hand down his face. “Ask Jonathan.”

“But I wanna listen to your music.” Will says quietly and Billy believes him. Will’s been getting interested in Alice Cooper and Led Zeppelin and all of the fun bands that actually perform. Steve gifted Billy a VHS performance of Led Zeppelin and Will seemed to like the lead singer quite a bit.

“Well I don’t wanna go out there, pipsqueak.” Billy rips out another piece of paper. It’s quiet for a second, Billy eyeballing another square to cut. It’s so quiet, Billy thinks Will has left.

He thinks wrong.

“Can I still hang out with you?”

Billy puts the scissors down, exhausted, and looks up at Will.

“Alright, what’s wrong?”

Will shrugs. “Nothing. I just…. Like it in here.”

Billy’s confused, but he almost believes him for a minute.

“I don’t have music for you.”

“I can grab a book to read.” The boy’s so earnest, Billy knows he’s not gonna shake him.

So he waves him away with a nod and Will’s out and back quicker than Billy can think about how weird it is that this boy would rather sit in his room in silence than do something fun. Will’s closing the door carefully, latching it quietly and moving over to sit on the bed.

Billy has crumpled up 2 more pieces of paper before Will begins to pry.

“Are you folding things again?”

“Uh huh.”

“What’s it called, again?”

“Origami.”

“Cool.” Will scoots on his knees to the edge of the bed so he can see what Billy’s doing. “Do you need any help?”

“I’m good.” Billy mutters, unconvincingly.

“I can cut the paper for you. I’m good at making squares.”

And so Will is sitting criss cross on the bed, cutting perfect square after perfect square, while Billy sits backwards on his desk chair with his arms folding on the back rest and mind racing a mile a minute. Will’s so quiet and calm, willingly coming in here just to spend time with Billy, helping him now and… and something sick fills Billy’s chest. The only thing he can hear are his words at the dinner table.

‘Hey-uh…” His voice sounds weird to his ears and his tongue feels thick but he’s got Will’s attention now so he needs to get it out. “Sorry.”

Will’s eyebrows scrunch up. “Sorry for what?”

For being a dick? For ruining your dinner? For ruining your family?

Billy shrugs.

“I dunno. Just… not being a good example.”

“Whaddya mean?” Will asks, handing over a handful of squares before working on some more.

Billy shrugs again. “I dunno kid I just… I’m not like Jonathan. I’m not… I’m not a good example for you. It’s embarrassing.”

“What’s embarrassing?”

“Getting told off like that in front of you guys.” Billy turns back around so he can start folding again. He needs to do something w/ his hands.

“I told you, mom told him he shouldn’t have done that.”

“But he was right-”

“No, you can be upset if you’re upset. It’s fine.”

Billy falters a bit. He wonders if Will is quoting Joyce. The small boy keeps speaking.

“You’re a good example,” Will’s voice says, and he sounds so sure that Billy believes him. “You’re just a different one. You show me to stand up for what I believe and… and that it’s okay to be… to like boys…”

Billy stops folding altogether. Will’s voice gets quieter.

“You’re a good example. It’s good to let things out when you feel them.”

Billy’s mind is racing. He’s folding without thinking about it. Because the only thing he can think about is how he got accepted into this family so quickly. How Hop took him in and Joyce accepted that like she was accepting a package at the door. She took him in like he was her own son and not some bratty problem child being dumped on her. And now Hop reprimands him without his fists and Joyce chastises Hop for being too harsh even though he’s… doing his job, whatever that entails and it’s… it’s too much sometimes. It’s too much to think about but Billy knows he wouldn’t give it away for the world bc every moment like this reminds him that every passing day is a day further away from the pain he grew up surrounded by. The pain now doesn’t even compare to the pain then. This is so different bc this pain is laced with care and love.

He’s made a crane before he realizes.

“I’m glad you’re my brother.” Will’s voice sounds so far away but it crashes over Billy like a wave.

Billy nearly crushes the crane in his hand from the words. He’s so shocked at them.

He turns and gives Will the crane, not looking the boy in the eye as he gathers up the paper and the scissors from the bed.

“I don’t need any more paper. Thanks.” Billy mumbles, dumping everything on his desk.

“You’re welcome. Is this for me?”

“Yup.” Billy shoves the paper in a drawer and tosses the scissors into his pencil cup.

“Thanks!” Will’s so excited about it. Billy’s heart is fluttering.

“Wanna listen to those records now?” Billy asks, hands on his hips, fingers fidgeting bc this is a lot and he just…. He needs music now. Whatever. He realizes he shouldn’t be so scared. There’s nothing to be scared about. Will beams up at him.

“Sure!” Will gets up and rushes to the door as Billy grabs a folded heart and follows the boy out, aiming to give it to Joyce by means of apology. He thinks briefly about giving one to Hop as well, but he figures a spoken apology and a light punch on the shoulder and a promise to listen should do just fine to get the man smiling again. Bc somehow- somewhat miraculously -it always does.

[magniloquent-raven]

Ooh for your prompts: Fluffy Elmax sleepover with cuddling for #16 pls :') xoxox

i had such a good time writing this omg thank you!!! tho there’s a couple bits that threaten to be angst because im physically incapable of writing pure fluff lmao. it’s just tiny bits tho. just a smidge.

also, because s4 isn’t out yet i uh. kinda just did a time skip but didn’t rly change anything about how s3 left off? i know we know hopper’s alive but like. i guess he’s just still in russia in this fic LMAO rip. don’t think about it too hard

posted on ao3 as well :)

—-

Max’s watch timer beeps obnoxiously again. 8:36. El’s late. She hits snooze.

“When’s your friend supposed to be here, sweetie?”

“Soon, mom. You know, you and Neil don’t have to wait up.” They do this every time. Like Max isn’t almost seventeen and perfectly capable of being alone in her own damn house for five minutes. At this rate they’re going to be late for whatever thing it is they’re going to, and Neil will be even more of a bitch than usual.

Her mom glances over at him. He’s sitting in his armchair looking surly, checking his watch pointedly. Asshole.

“Well…I don’t think—”

Max hears a car pull up out front. “Oh, thank fuck,” she mutters, turning on her heel and marching out to greet the Byers’.

Joyce climbs out of the passenger seat as Max strides across the lawn. “Max, honey!” she waves, grinning bright, “How are you?” There’s always a…tone to how she asks that. Questions lurking under the surface that they don’t talk about. It makes Max’s insides all squirmy thinking about it, though she is on some level grateful for the concern.

Max stands on the curb, tugging on her earring. A habit by now. It’s both a comfort and a reminder. She got one hell of a lecture the day she came out of the bathroom with blood running down her neck and a safety pin in her earlobe, but she didn’t regret it for a second.

El slides out of the driver’s seat, her smile crinkling the corners of her eyes. Max watches her stand and adjust her shirt. She always looked good in yellow. “I’m good,” Max responds after a beat, and it’s honest for once.

The door behind her creaks. Probably her mom and Neil coming out of the house, hopefully to leave, finally. She doesn’t turn around, just steps into Joyce’s waiting arms and presses her face into her shoulder. Max is taller than her now, by a couple inches, so it hurts her neck a little, but it’s worth it.

Will’s still tucked away in the backseat, peering through the window, Max waves at him when she peeks up over Joyce’s shoulder.

Then El distracts her. “Your hair,” she says, gently tugging on a lock behind her ear. Max steps back from Joyce, and runs a hand through it, cheeks pink. Three years ago she’d hacked off all her hair with a pocket-knife, woke up the morning of Billy’s funeral with strands still stuck to her neck, locks hanging ragged across her forehead. Her mother had thrown a fit.

“Yeah, I cut it again,” Max says, like that wasn’t obvious. She’d let it grow out uneven and messy for a while, but she broke out the scissors again about a month ago. It’s neater than her last haircut, but not by much.

El’s hand is in Max’s hair again, dangerously close to her face. Max’s knees wobble a little.

“Bitchin’,” she says solemnly, after a few seconds of consideration.  

Max’s grin is blinding.

Her mother cuts in, before she can respond, gives her the usual talk about staying in the house and making sure she’s got her emergency numbers memorized. Then she bids them all a hasty, distracted goodbye. Her mom was never very comfortable about the Byers’. Probably something about Joyce’s too-knowing gaze, or the fact that El glares daggers at Neil every time he’s within range.

She’s doing it now. Watching him get into his truck with a quiet rage in her eyes. Joyce puts a hand on her elbow, and it doesn’t move until Neil’s truck has turned the corner at the end of the street.

“We should get going,” Joyce says, checking her watch. “Will wanted to be at Claudia’s an hour ago but we got caught up at Mike’s house, and, well, you know how it is,” she flutters her hands, approximating a shrug.

She hugs El goodbye, then pulls Max in for another one. “Call us if you need anything,” she says, pulling back and putting her hands on Max’s shoulders. That sad glint is in her eye again, and Max knows the offer extends beyond tonight.

“Thanks, Joyce, we will.”

By the time she’s taken the corner at the end of Cherry Lane Max’s watch is beeping again.

El glances down at it, a pinch between her eyebrows. “…Was that for me?”

“Uh.”

The confusion melts off her face, replaced by a cheeky grin. “It was!”

Max shuts the alarm off, cheeks burning. “Why were you guys at Mike’s for so long?” she asks. eager to change the subject. If the guys are meeting up at Dustin’s the delay wasn’t because Will and Mike were catching up, and, well, Mike and El’s relationship is…of interest to Max. For reasons.

El purses her lips. It’s a face that tells Max they’re gonna need to be sitting and cozy for this conversation because it’s gonna be a long one. So, she links their arms and pulls her inside.

An hour later they’re huddled under a throw blanket on the couch. El is giggling, face in her hands, and Max is wheezing around a mouthful of skittles.

“Oh, that’s so not funny,” she chokes out, trying not to spew candy everywhere, which brings about a fresh wave of laughter. El’s shoulders are shaking, brushing against Max’s and making her warm all over. God damn, she’s missed this.

“Then why are you laughing,” El replies, poking her side and smiling from ear-to-ear.

She’s beautiful, Max thinks. Her braid is half-undone, letting her hair curl around her face in gentle waves, and her eyes are bright. She looks happy, and Max holds on to that, keeps it all for herself because she did that, she made that happen. She might not have everything she wants from El, but she’ll take whatever she can get. Whatever El wants to give. And sometimes just her smiles are enough, enough to make Max’s chest constrict and her heart glow, because for now, she’s happy too.

She laughs again, in leu of a response. How can she not, when she feels so light she could float away, high on the soft strawberry scent of El’s shampoo and the way her cheek dimples when she grins. But she can’t say that, so she says, “Because it’s Mike,” and pokes El right back. “I’m legally obligated to laugh at his misfortune.”

They have a complicated friendship, which mostly boils down to her being willing to bail him out when he’s in shit, but only if she gets to make fun of him while she does it.

El wrinkles her nose a little, but her smile doesn’t dim, “You two are weird.”

She’s pretty sure it used to bother El, how much Mike and Max fought. Max can’t help but wonder if they’d have gotten along better if she wasn’t in love with his girlfriend. Ex-girlfriend. Because she’d dumped him for good this time. Four months ago, apparently, though Mike was, until a few hours ago, under the impression it was temporary.

Max almost feels bad for him. Except she doesn’t. Apparently, he was a dick about the whole thing, so at least she has a solid reason not to.

“You love us,” Max scoffs. El may have broken up with Mike, but she’ll always love him in some way or another.

El’s expression softens, turns fond and sweet. She’s thinking about Mike, Max is sure, but the smile is still directed as her. Small victories. “I do,” she says quietly.

They order a pizza after that, and watch movies into the wee hours of the morning. By 3am Max’s throat is raw, and her stomach hurts from laughing (and too much pizza). It’s the most fun she’s had in a while. The Byers’ don’t visit as often as any of them would like.

Max isn’t even tired, but El’s head has been dropping onto her shoulder on and off for the past hour so she suggests they call it a night.

She knows that when the boys sleep over at each other’s houses they’ll take the floor, or the couch in the basement, anything but actually sharing a bed. As El wraps an arm around her waist and snuggles up with her under the blankets, Max takes a moment to wonder if that would be better or worse than this.

It always seemed so miserable to Max, how much boys have to limit themselves.  

But also…well, it might be easier sometimes. She wouldn’t have to deal with wanting things she shouldn’t want because El would be over there, and not right up in her space, hands warm and breath tickling Max’s ear. This is different than sitting thigh-to-thigh on the couch, it blurs the line more, and it’s the ambiguity that’s driving Max crazy.

She wasn’t tired before, but she’s wide-awake now.

Time creeps by strangely this late at night. Max isn’t sure how long she lays there, staring at the ceiling, trying to calm her pounding heart. El’s breath is steady, quiet, and her eyes are closed. Max is sure she’s asleep, she was so tired before.

Before she can stop herself her hand creeps up, brushes a strand of hair from El’s face.

Moonlit, she’s ethereal. There’s always been something otherworldly about El, with her big, dark eyes, always watching, boring holes into you with their intensity. Shadows play across her cheek, and Max tracks them for a while, absurdly jealous of moonlight.

She traces patterns on El’s forearm, the one resting on Max’s stomach, keeping her touch light so as not to wake her.

More time passes, and Max’s head feels heavy with sleep that won’t come. She’s groggy, leaning back but unable to keep her eyes closed.

She starts talking. Whispering. Remembering the times she read Wonder Woman comics to El until she fell asleep, and hoping, somewhere in her foggy brain, that it might work on herself too.

“You know… I always knew we’d be good friends. The second I heard your name I wanted to know you,” she murmurs, and draws a star on El’s wrist. “Didn’t know how badly I wanted until I saw you though. You were terrifying, and I loved it. And now…” Her eyes slide closed as she thinks. “You’re the best person I’ve ever met. You’re beautiful. Everything about you. And I love you…more than I should.” She sighs, sits in silence and cards her fingers through El’s hair. It’s getting so long.  

El’s hand closes around her wrist.

Max’s eyes fly open, and she stills, heart pounding. “Uh.” El’s eyes are open, looking up at her, she’s awake, she’s awake, oh fuck– “Um. Did—did I wake you up, I’m—sorry if I woke you—”

“It’s okay.” The corners of her mouth turn up, slow and careful, “I couldn’t sleep anyway.”

“Oh.” Is all Max can manage, staring down at El with wide eyes, waiting for her to…do something. Max’s palms are sweating. She doesn’t know what to expect.

El moves her hand, puts Max’s palm against her cheek and shuffles forward until they’re nose to nose.

“Oh.”

She tastes like toothpaste and kiwi lip balm, and kisses as sweetly as she smiles. Her hands end up in Max’s hair, fingers gentle but demanding, guiding her forward. If Max wasn’t already laying down, she’d need to be because her knees are jelly.

“Oh,” El echoes when she pulls back, laughter in her voice. She presses a chaste kiss to the corner of Max’s mouth, careful and deliberate. Then her expression softens, sobers. “I was jealous of you. At first. Didn’t…know what it was. Know why. So, I ignored you. And… I’m sorry.”

Max shakes her head, “Ancient history. It’s okay.”

“No, I,” El stops, furrows her brow, “You were so happy. Free. I wanted that. And then, then you helped me have that. So. Thank you.” She cups Max’s face, fingertips tracing along her cheekbone, and Max’s heart sings. “And I love you too.”

They kiss again, and Max decides that El sleeping on the floor would’ve been a terrible idea.

[st-fandom-imagines]

Protect Them

I hope you guys like this, send me some requests, I'm getting low! tag list- @tiger-hugger, @hannahmontanabutgayer and @macricrisis let me know if you guys want to be added to my tag list! ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ Request-anonymous asked: 64,17,5 - Reader has powers like 11 (but Steve doesn’t know) and ends up saving everyone at the end & survives but he comforts her nonetheless 5-“You’re safe now.” 17-“This is going to hurt.” 64-“Yell, scream, cry, please, just say something, anything.” ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ Hiding a part of yourself from everyone that you care about, is beyond hard. You don’t want to tell them because it puts them in danger, but if you don’t tell them, you are just lying to them, so which is the lesser of two evils? “You need to stay with those kids. They need you more than any of us, you need to protect them, understand?” Hopper’s voice playing in my head over and over again as we began to run out of fireworks. Hopper and El, the people who found me, who accepted me, who knew about my powers, who knew that at the end of the day I was going to be the only one to save them. I looked around the mall, seeing all my friends fighting for their lives and I knew, this was my time. I didn’t know if I was going to live or die but if it meant that they all got to live, I was willing to take that chance. “We are all out!” Steve screamed to the other groups making me sigh and stand up from our crouched positions. “This needs to end.” The fireworks were gone, the mind flayer only recovering by the second. I went to walk away but Steve grabbed my hand, standing up as well. Steve, the guy who had shown me what love was, and how it can be a magical thing…lying to him, that killed me the most. “Where are you going?! Are you insane?!” He yelled over the growls of the created that had taken over Hawkins and killed a lot of people, good people. He looked worried, confused and sad all at once so I cupped his face in my hands, kissing him softly like many times before, I knew it would be easier this way. “I love you Harrington, remember that.” I then pulled away only to start running towards El, who was on the ground, Billy hovering over her. I could hear Steve screaming my name but I ignored him, knowing that once El saw me, she would understand. The young girl looked at me with tears in her eyes as she talked to Billy, trying to break the mold that the Mind Flayer had made him. “This is going to hurt.” I yelled to Billy, his eyes softening for the first time in weeks. I smiled at them both before I used one hand to levitate Billy in the air, the other towards the Mind Flayers throat. I looked down at El, having only a minute to talk to her. “El, I need you to run, okay? Get everyone out of here.” I strained, as she stumbled to her up, knowing she would run to mike first. I then looked at Billy, looked at the boy who has been held captive for so long, who didn’t want to kill but had to. I closed my eyes before focusing on Billy, zoning in on his heart beat, I needed to separate Billy from the Mind Flayer, and El has already made it pretty easy for me. I was in Billy’s head, I could see him, gagged and tied up, being held hostage body and mind. I could feel Billy trying to reach out, it’s like when someone throws you a ball, and you think you are going to catch it, you can feel it in your hands but when you look down, you missed it, you just thought you caught it because you know the feeling, I could feel Billy. “Stop, let him go!” I screamed, eyes opening, the Mind Flayer growling at me. “Let him go you son of a bitch!” I yelled, feeling my nose begin to bleed from focusing my energy on two different points. I heard Billy groan before all the black smoke, the same thing that came out of Will months ago, came flying out of Billy. “Billy!!” I heard max scream breaking my concentration. These kids know no bounds, they are beyond loyal and won’t leave anyone behind, but right now, I need them gone. “Get out of here! Now!” I screamed, hearing Max cry behind me, I soon heard her crying begin to quite down, someone pulling her away. I set Billy down on the ground, knowing that if I made it out of here, I would carry him out with me. I then focused both hands on the Mind Flayer, all my energy on him. The monster who had hurt so many people, people that I loved and cared about, he keeps attacking us, keeps wanting us to fail, well not this time. “I won’t let you kill anyone else, we have something that you ever will, we protect our own, we don’t operate through fear, we will always win, always. Now go to hell.” I smirked as I felt my feet lift off the ground, the Mind Flayer groaning and hissing as I began to split the monster in half, not just his face like El had at the cabin, but all of it, it wasn’t going to hurt us anymore. I screamed in pain, the monster fighting back as I tore its body apart. As soon as one end of his body was on one side of the mall, the other side right in front of me, my body gave way and fell to the ground, feet first, my hands catching me. Chest heaving, nose bleeding, I ran over to Billy who was groaning in pain. “You’re safe now. Come on.” I whispered as I put one of Billy’s arm around my shoulder, the other around his waist, and walked towards the exit of the mall. Ambulances and police cars getting closer to the mall, this was all over, finally over. I saw everyone standing outside the doors, Nancy holding Max back from running towards Billy and I, Steve staring at me in disbelief. “Holy shit.” Dustin mumbled as Billy fell to the ground, weak from the past week, he had been through a lot and I know he will never be the same. Max rushing over to Billy, checking on her step brother. El ran over to me, hugging me tightly as the whole group looked at me. “Why didn’t you tell us? We accepted El, did you think we weren’t going to accept you?” Jonathan perked up and I shook my head, as I hugged El. “You guys not knowing, kept you safe, I’m more powerful and worth more than El, you guys went to hell and back to protect her, you would have had to go through ten times that to protect me. Now go get checked out, all of you. Joyce and Hopper should be back soon.” I demanded and they all nodded, not wanting to fight with me, also understanding my reasoning. Everyone walked towards the blue and red lights, El pulling away to walk over to the ambulances with Mike, I turned around to see Steve staring at me, my heart twisting. “Yell, scream, cry, please, just say something, anything.” I begged and he just shook his head with a laugh, making my eyes begin to well up with tears. “The fact that your silence scares me more than fighting a being from another dimension, says a lot.” I stated, turning away from the boy and began to walk away but he grabbed my arm, stopping me, making me whip back around. “What?!” I yelled and he just cupped my face, connecting our lips and stopping me from yelling. I kissed him back, hoping that it wasn’t a goodbye kiss. “I thought you were the coolest girl before I knew you had powers, and now? I love you, no matter where you come from, okay?” He whispered as he rested his forehead on mine, drying the few tears that fell from my eyes. “You don’t hate me for lying?” I asked as he interlocked our hands and we began walking to the circle of ambulances. “No, you were protecting us, I’m also guessing it was a certain chief of police’s idea.” He smiled making me nod and hold his hand tighter in mine. “I can’t always promise that I’ll be around Steve, I won this battle but I might not win them all.” I hated to say but I knew that I needed to. It was true and I needed him to know that, he stopped walking, pulling me into him. “Don’t go soft on me. You are beyond powerful, like a damn superhero, I know the risks, I don’t care. I don’t care how much time that I have with you, as long as I have more time. I’m hoping it will be years, but even if it’s not, I’ll be thankful for every moment.” He comforted me making me smile with a nod. “Now, can we use your powers in bed? We could do different positions while floating above my bed?” He offered making me scoff and push him away from me with a laugh. “In your dreams Steve.” I scoffed as he wrapped his arms around my waist from behind, kissing my temple and walking in unison with me. A paramedic walking over to us as soon as we were in eyeshot. I knew this was going to be a long night, but the hardest part was over…at least to thought it was.

[ifeveristoday]

team Slow Burn/Burn it All Down

“Real monsters don’t announce themselves or present opportunities. Not here. They enter your head, your heart, tear at you from within.” -- Angel, Hellmouth #2

Are we talking about the demons underground or the demon walking around with Angel’s face?

Hellmouth leans heavy on foreshadowing and having unspoken/underlining meanings that differ from the actual words on the page. It continues using elements from Egyptian and Roman/Greek mythos but the main draw of this issue - and I’m assuming the rest of the series, is the reluctant partnership of Buffy and Angel. I don’t agree with the criticism that taking Buffy and Angel away from their respective apocalypses ruins the flow of the overall arcs. It’s a vast story to tell and the pace of the reboots (which is something I have criticized) makes it difficult to include in the main storylines without sacrificing important character development. There are just so many characters, especially in Sunnydale. Jordie’s writing excels at the character and emotional beats rather than plots, and while we have had some great strides in Willow, Xander and Jenny’s personal journeys, there remains some distance from the namesake characters, which I feel like it was intentional to get to the place that Hellmouth occupies. 

Love it or hate it, the Buffy and Angel relationship is a huge part of both of their stories and character developments and we’ve had inklings of how Buffy is going to change/possibly wreck Angel’s life in Angel, but he’s remained a shadowy figure in Buffy’s story. Hellmouth changes all of that while retaining some of the original canon’s flaws/trademarks but also poking gentle fun at them.

Spoilers from Hellmouth #2 below the cut.

Buffy and Angel are slightly different from their canon selves - Angel is independent of Buffy’s journey at the very beginning and already has his purpose set in Los Angeles. Buffy is a newly minted Slayer, living with her secret for a whole three weeks before wacky Slayer hijinks puts her in the path of Willow and Xander. Their initial meeting/relationship is reminiscent of the very early episodes of Season 1 Buffy - with a reasonable amount of wariness on Buffy’s part and Angel’s dry/slightly cocky attitude with a 2019 update of their anxieties. There’s also a flip in roles as Angel asks Buffy how she’s feeling and what she wants to do in the future at the start. It’s just the feeling of a connection with no romantic overtones. 

The comic recognizes the fucked-upness of Buffy being a child and fighting the forces of evil and sympathizing with her via the character of Jenny. While there is an obligatory nod to Buffy’s desire to be normal, it also makes a point of isolating her from the Scoobies and her frustration at knowing how to be the best Slayer she can be. Giles tells her that he’s to direct her, but not tell her explicitly what she has to do sounds an awful like parents preparing their children for adulthood. There is no handbook. While Buffy is welcomed into Willow and Xander’s circle (and that’s another flip - it is Willow who reaches out to Buffy first and invites her into being social), they’re very much a unit while Buffy sort of floats between their friendship. But I feel due to them being so young, it’s easy to claim best friendship, because - the intensity of feelings and hormones.

This makes Buffy’s character kind of harder to read, and less sunshiney than her OG counterpart. But it’s a shared facade - TV Buffy just hid it better underneath girliness and bouncy hair, while Boom! Buffy is focused, for better or worse to her duty. This is a Buffy that hasn’t quit Slaying before, who gets slightly conflicted guidance from her Watcher and who needs Willow and Xander more than they possibly need her to be a connection to being sixteen. Everyone has their own stuff to deal with.

Hellmouth gives Buffy the spotlight and also drops her into an immediate partnership with Angel. It very pointedly is not a romance - they both get on each others nerves actually, and it inspires A+ bantering while revealing the most of each character so far. Buffy’s venting to Angel (Buffy #8/Hellmouth #1) implies that she’s worried about her friendships and failure to connect, that she’d rather tell a complete stranger this than confide in her friends/Watcher. 

Angel listening and not judging shows an immediate empathy for her - and his actions during Hellmouth show a more vulnerable/less closed off Angel. He doesn’t occupy the same caretaker vibe he has with Fred and Gunn that he does with Buffy, namely because Buffy refuses it. She calls him out on trying to be the mysterious weight of the world Loner who takes on all of the responsibilities. 

Angel quickly realizes he just can’t be That Guy with Buffy, and it makes his character hilariously resigned/looser in response. He warns her about dangers in the Hellmouth but accepts Buffy’s way is different from his, but that doesn’t make it wrong. He’s willing to admit he might have been wrong about demons being upfront when the slithery shapeshifter demon confronts them - and Buffy’s snarky response “Cool, cool. Won’t rub that in.” lightens the tense moment. 

Notably, Angel is the one that gets injured/dragged by the demons while Buffy runs to save him. The fighting sequences are highlighted and Buffy’s scenes, in particular, are very smooth and highlights her Slayer grace. They fight beautifully together and despite their prickly banter, feel a shared responsibility to each other’s well being. Their separate confrontations with the shapeshifter shows their fears - Buffy ‘abandoning’ her family and friends and failing to protect them, Angel seeing the ghosts of the people he’s failed to save. Buffy reacts strongly to how her family and friends need her, while Angel angrily tells the shifter to stay out of his head and that it doesn’t know anything about him. Circling back to Buffy saying she doesn’t know what she wants, the Ominous voice implies Angel doesn’t really know what he’s doing and who he is.

Ah, vague accusations of something evil and upsetting, how I haven’t missed you.

After Angel demands to know who’s blood is needed for the further escalation of Evil Plan, and the Voice doesn’t reply, he immediately realizes Buffy is in danger and runs to find her.

Buffy’s still fighting the shifter and it mentions she could put an end to her family and friends’ suffering with her sacrifice - namely, that her blood will save the world.

While Buffy logically knows that the shifter isn’t her mom (because of course, the shifter would take on the form of Joyce), this emotional blackmail breaks her out of the illusion and she kicks it’s ass. Almost punching out Angel in the process. 

Angel is less emotional about his ordeal and Buffy lets him have it again, telling him that it's unfair that she’s the only one being vulnerable - “I opened up because we need to work together, and you haven’t said a thing.”

Instead of being defensive and defaulting to Sir Mopes a Lot - Angel sincerely apologizes and tells her that his fears were also centered around his friends and him not being able to save them in time.

And it’s Buffy’s turn to reassure him/pass on wisdom - she realizes that the Hellmouth wants to separate them to make them weaker and that Angel deserves a little more empathy from her.

THEY’RE COMMUNICATING THEIR FRUSTRATIONS AND CONCERNS WITH EACH OTHER, Y’ALL.

Angel does have a moment of saying, “Silent suffering is more my cup of tea,” and Buffy’s quick response of “And how’s that working for you?” showcase their differences/similarities nicely. Angel despite making friends doesn’t tell them what he’s thinking because he’s used to being alone, Buffy with her very loud opinions isolates herself (un)intentionally because she’s new to Slaying and being a teenager at the same time. They can’t talk to the people who care for them--- but they can talk to each other.

When they face hurdles, they take turns reassuring/pointing out the Obvious Evil, and then a tiny moment - Angel adds onto Buffy’s observation of not getting surrounded by the demon horde by saying, “Just like Thermopylae.”

As with each issue of the Boom!verse, when names I don’t recognize I obviously google them - and Thermopylae is a reference to both the battle of Thermopylae (think the 300 comic and uh, history) and the “Hot Gates,” and is the cavernous entrance to Hades.

Is my theory/wish that there’s going to be Persephone/Hades parallels and Eurydice/Orpheus vibes in this story going to play out? God, I hope so.

Anyway, back to the moment - when they inevitably get surrounded by the demon hordes, Buffy remarks, “Well, there goes thermometer.”

The. Classic. Buffy. Malapropism.

My heart.

Angel gets slashed in the fight, and Buffy worries about him, but there’s a bigger problem - 

narrated by the Voice - “Are you sure everything is as it seems? You’ve been wrong before.”

“Blood is spilled...vessels are filled...every pretender killed.”

Shot to Drusilla as Prometheus in chains, spouting some of the worst “Dru-esque” dialogue I’ve read. Sorry Jordie, this is up there with the clunky faux Whedonisms of the early issues.

So Dru isn’t the major Big Bad, but rather the unseen Voice, who we, of course, don’t know.

Is she ultimate sacrifice, the vessel (after all she is of Angel’s bloodline) and oh, Angel Still Hasn’t Told Buffy He’s A Vampire which...

Boo.

All of the voice overs hint that the confession when it happens is going to cause Buffy Big Mad - after all, Angel knows more about her than she does of him, AGAIN.

The art and coloring is stunning as ever in this issue - Carlini really knows how to draw action sequences, and the varying light/color schemes really make the sense of Buffy and Angel descending into the Hellmouth feel vivid and real.

tl;dr I loved this issue and each issue the stakes definitely seem higher. The bantering and a slow reveal of their personalities are also excellent. The foreshadowing/double meanings of the dialogues.

The stuff I don’t like - the Dru dialog at the end, Angel being secretive about his Vampire self.

[pass-the-bechdel]

Buffy S2E16 ‘Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered’

Does it pass the Bechdel Test?  

Yes, by the skin of its teeth

How many female characters (with names and lines) are there?          

9 (64%)

How many male characters (with names and lines) are there?

5

Positive Content Rating:

Two

General Episode Quality:

Not only is it disgusting content wise, it doesn’t even make sense storytelling wise

MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) UNDER THE CUT:

Passing the Bechdel:

Cordelia and Harmony pass at the very end when Cordelia calls her a sheep and she says she’s not. 

Female Characters:

Buffy

Willow

Cordelia

Amy 

Harmony

Miss Beakman

Jenny Calendar

Drusilla

Joyce

Male Characters:

Xander

Giles

Spike

Angel

Oz

Other Notes:

Xander, D- is still a failing grade. You need at least a C-. Get with the program. 

Angel and Spike can stop this pissing contest around Drusilla like she’s not even there. Gag. 

Angel’s going on and on about poetry and then he settles for sending Buffy a bunch of roses? That’s the most unoriginal gift you could send, threatening or not. 

This is the most emotionally mature Xander has been in two seasons. I’d appreciate it if it weren’t so out of character. And if it weren’t obviously meant to make it easier to ‘sympathize’ with him when he’s a total dick like three scenes later

Why does this whole school care if Xander got dumped?

Get your hands off Amy, Xander. Also, why would you threaten to tell people Amy’s a witch? “Yes, Ms. Teacher, I think she can work magic”? How would they even address that?

Going back to being petty, manipulative, and cruel is so much more on brand for Xander, unfortunately. I don’t like it, but it is expected. 

Making a joke about lapdances? Stop being so creepy to your female friends, Xander. God, why is Buffy still friends with him?

Xander doesn’t want to take advantage of Willow or Buffy while they’re under a spell and is visibly uncomfortable with the situation but had no problem with the idea of putting Cordelia in the same situation. He’s not a good guy for backing off of them, it just shows that there are some women he deems worthy of respect and autonomy and some he doesn’t. 

I gotta admit “I’m twice the fool it takes to do something like this” is a line I intend to incorporate into my every day vocabulary. 

“But if you had one clue what this would mean to me... but you don’t. So I can’t.” So Xander isn’t refusing to take advantage of Buffy because it’s wrong, but because it would make him feel bad. Cool, glad to know that this is still about him. 

“No one can love two people at once” For being a hippy dippy pagan that’s pretty close minded of you, Jenny. Polyamory is valid, ya’ll. 

“It’s not love, it’s obsession. Selfish obsession.” Giles needs to give that lecture to Xander, tbh. 

I just... this episode is not good. Nothing about this is handled well. First, they make Xander uncharacteristically sweet and mature so that Cordelia seems like the only one in the wrong for breaking up with him so heartlessly. Then he forces another woman to take away her autonomy. It’s not even really explained why the spell goes wrong, which is just bad story telling. Then we get all these prolonged shots of women that Xander had previously done wrong pining for him and wanting to be taken advantage of, along with every other woman in town (which is heteronormative as hell). In the end the closest thing to repercussions that he suffers is a line from Buffy that this has to hurt for Willow in particular because she was in love with Xander already. Not because she was prepared to lose her virginity to him without being able to fully consent. And this is the second time Buffy is put in a near sexual assault situation with Xander, which has to be traumatic as hell. Instead, she thanks him for not raping her, which is the lowest possible bar he could pass right now. And of course, Cordelia thinks its sweet that he put them both in danger and was willing to take away her free will, because it was because he just wanted her so bad (never mind that he made it clear to Amy that the whole purpose of the spell was to be able to reject Cordelia and leave her heartbroken) and her leaving her friends (who, yeah, were shitty) for Xander is framed as empowering and not total garbage. I just... I really don’t like this episode. 

Editor’s Note: not only is Buffy put in a near sexual assault situation with Xander yet again, she’s also put in a state of extreme vulnerability and exposure (y’know, with the nudity and all), and that’s a violation of her boundaries of intimacy even though Xander doesn’t touch her. Not only is the episode (and the characters) giving Xander credit for not being a rapist, it’s also completely dismissive of every other level of violation which is inherent in robbing someone of their free will. And even if he didn’t mean to do it to everyone else, he did mean to do it to Cordelia, for the express purpose of hurting her, and yet the entire narrative packages this as an innocent whoopsie for Xander instead of a huge fucking red flag for abusive, objectifying mindsets. We already know that Xander should not be allowed near women, but instead, the episode has him forgiven by all involved and reunited with his girlfriend in the end - he is actively rewarded for his crimes. This whole episode is a big, big no.

[dingoes8myrp]

Two Sides of a Coin: An Angel Character Study

As many times as I’ve seen Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel the Series, I’ve never quite wrapped my head around Angel. But, rewatching season two of Buffy, I think I’m onto something…

This may be an unpopular theory, particularly for my Bangel shipper friends. You’ve been warned.

Buffy and Angel as a couple were powerful, but at times uncomfortable to watch. While the romance was full of passion and butterflies, there were also a few controversial elements to the relationship even before the Angelus switch. There was always something off about Angel.

Here it is.

Angel and Angelus are indeed the same guy.

The fact that Angel the character considers himself a separate person from Angelus creates some murkiness when it comes to the psychology of vampires in general. When Spike is ensouled later in the series he displays a degree of instability, but it’s not dissociative in nature as it is with Angel. Therefore, not all vampires are a separate consciousness from their human selves. This is something unique to Angel, perhaps as a coping mechanism to deal with the trauma of his re-ensoulment. It makes more sense that he himself merely views Angelus as a separate entity because it makes it easier for him to deal with the horrible things he did without a soul.

In the first three seasons of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel is somewhat set apart from the rest of the group. He has limited contact with them due to his aversion to sunlight and the fact that Buffy’s mother, Joyce, doesn’t approve of him dating her daughter due to their apparent age difference (Oh, season two Joyce, if you only knew). He also deliberately keeps a great deal of information from Buffy. She has no idea he’s a vampire when she first gets to know him, leading her to invite him into her home (something a slayer likely wouldn’t have done otherwise). She only finds out because he goes all vamp-face while they’re kissing. Angel never tells Buffy anything about his past unless she digs it up and confronts him with it.

When Buffy finds Angel in her kitchen, a bloody Joyce unconscious in his arms, she naturally assumes Angel fed on her mother. It’s only when Buffy goes after him armed with a crossbow that he tells her who he was before: that he killed his family, their friends, he killed children. Then he tells her about the curse - how he got his soul. This gives Buffy enough pause for him to tell her it wasn’t him that attacked her mother. This pause is likely the reason he told her at all.

Also, it would have been super helpful if Angel had given the gang a heads-up about Darla, particularly when she was masquerading as a schoolgirl. He even asked her what the deal was with the schoolgirl look, but didn’t think to maybe tell Buffy and her friends how she operated? He did tell them bits and pieces, but he couldn’t tell them too much about Darla without also telling them about himself, which he wasn’t willing to do.

When Spike came around Angel used Xander as bait, putting him at risk when he offered to feed on him with Spike like they were drinking buddies. Not something Xander agreed to, by the way. Again, Angel neglected to mention quite a bit about Spike’s past that would have been helpful to know (though he was more forthcoming than he had been previously, likely because he’d become a more trusted member of the group by this point).

Angel didn’t tell Buffy about Drusilla’s past until she saw them together and asked him about it. He did tell Buffy most of the details, as far as we know.

Here’s where things get uncomfortable and foreshadowy.

Angel tells Buffy Drusilla was sweet and chaste and, therefore, became an obsession for him. He doesn’t say why, but based on what we learn about Angelus later, it could be because she represents everything he isn’t. She’s also troubled, plagued with visions she believes are evil. He stalked her, tormented her, killed everyone she loved, drove her insane, and then turned her into a demon - the last thing in the world she would have wanted as someone about to become a nun.

After Angel loses his soul and reverts back to Angelus, he begins to repeat this pattern with Buffy. When Spike becomes frustrated Angel won’t just kill Buffy, Drusilla observes Angel doesn’t want to kill her - he wants to do the same thing he did to Drusilla. Angel confirms this. He starts sending Buffy gifts, going after her friends, her mother. This all makes sense and it fits right in with what we know about pre-soul-toting Angel.

At the end of season two, we get some flashbacks of Angel post-soul when he’s guided to Buffy by Whistler. Angel watches Buffy without her knowledge when she’s in Los Angeles. He sees her when she’s called by her watcher, watches her fight some of her first vampires, and observes a very private moment as Buffy overhears her parents fighting. Then, Angel follows her to Sunnydale and continues to stalk her until she catches him at it. He gives her cryptic clues and gifts (remember the cross and the jacket?), he teases her and toys with her.

All of that fits Angelus, too.

These two personas aren’t as different as he’d like people to believe.

Buffy views Angel as a great love, someone she’s willing to sacrifice certain aspects of her life for, to risk friends and family for. As the show is focused largely on Buffy, this is the picture of their relationship that’s most prominent. However, this relationship is much more a cautionary tale than it is a great romance.

Perhaps the overall point of Angel and Buffy as a couple is to illustrate how dangerous vampires truly are, even the “good” ones.

Xander is the most vocal about his dislike of Angel. Part of this is due to his feelings for Buffy, but he also has genuine concerns about the fact that Angel is a vampire. This is due to his severe dislike of vampires in general after the events of The Harvest that led to the death of his friend, Jesse. Giles voices some concern about Buffy becoming involved with a vampire, mainly due to the confusion it’ll cause with her duties as slayer. But, once Angel proves to Giles he truly cares for Buffy, Giles supports Buffy’s decision. Joyce, however, is another vocal disapprover. From very early on, Joyce tells Buffy Angel is too old for her and Buffy hides her involvement with him from her mother.

It’s no coincidence that Buffy has sex with Angel and is almost immediately introduced to the other side to him, Angelus. Part of Angel’s curse that never really tracked was the fact that if he experienced even one moment of happiness he’d lose his soul. Why would something like this be a part of this particular curse? Even Jenny Calendar points out this makes no sense when her uncle tells her about it.

Perhaps this is because it has nothing to do with the curse and everything to do with Angel’s psychology. All the curse did was give Angelus back his soul - his conscience - to make him regret everything he’s done and live forever with his guilt. Angel’s the one who keeps the curse intact out of remorse and fear. He’s horrified by his own actions as Angelus and he doesn’t want to do those things again. He knows if he loses his soul he’ll lose his conscience and go back to his old ways, which he doesn’t want. It’s Angel that keeps that aspect of himself separate as much as he can. So, it stands to reason that the second he stops doing that - if he doesn’t make an active effort to keep himself in check - that it would all go to Hell in a handbasket. It’s Angel that keeps the curse intact and it’s Angel who breaks it. Buffy just happens to be the catalyst. She makes him feel human and worthy of love, which is something he may have never felt even as a mortal man.

The fact is, Buffy didn’t truly know Angel. She knew what he wanted her to know, the parts of him he chose to share with her. While the person Buffy fell for does exist, it’s not the whole picture. Angelus is also part of the package, even though it’s a part of him he chooses to repress as much as possible. But, Angelus comes out in other ways, in certain aspects of his personality. He is still quite fond of violence. He doesn’t just fight demons to help people. There’s a part of him that enjoys it. He toys with people, engages in a little interrogation and torture when the occasion calls for it. His soul - his conscience - generally keeps him from overstepping into the realm of psychopathy, but that doesn’t mean Angelus is entirely gone.

So, what does this mean for the character of Angel, and how does it affect his relationships with other characters?

Angel and Angelus

The tough part about Angel for the audience is that he’s a very introspective character. It’s a running gag throughout both series that Angel’s a brooder: he sits alone in the dark with his thoughts. There’s a lot of truth to this, as Angel rarely delves into what he’s thinking or feeling, particularly in seasons one and two of Buffy. It stands to reason he’s a very conflicted person. There’s a duality to him he doesn’t quite know how to deal with. He’s a man tainted by a demon with a human soul. That’s a complicated individual right there with a lot going on. He’s constantly battling between his urges and his conscience. This tug and pull is most prominent as he goes through is relationship with Buffy.

Angel and Buffy

Angel keeps Buffy at a distance to some degree. She often comments she doesn’t know as much as she’d like to about him, from the types of women he used to date as a mortal to the extent of his involvement with Drusilla and Spike. This gives her a false impression of him and it’s always a rude awakening for her when she gets a new piece of this puzzle. Angel is well aware of this. He knows what he is and while he hopes she’d still love him if she knew the whole story, he’s fearful she won’t. So, he keeps her in the dark as long as possible as much as possible, which causes a lot of tension in the relationship. While part of this is self-preservation on his part, it’s also for her protection. The last person we know of Angel pursued with the same amount of passion as he shows for Buffy was Drusilla… and he destroyed her, condemning her to a fate worse than death. He’s terrified of what he’ll do to Buffy if she stays with him. So, he keeps a safe distance until he gives into his desires and has sex with her. Because, for him, his urges are linked to Angelus, it makes sense that he’d revert back to his old self.

Angel and Darla

Angel was in a sorry state when he came upon Darla. He was a drunk with a low self-image. Darla promised him a new life and he saw her as an escape, salvation. Perhaps this is also why he was drawn to Buffy. She was another woman he came across at a pivotal part of his life, when he was low and depressed, without direction. When Darla showed up in Sunnydale, apparently looking to get him back into the fold (perhaps to get him back altogether), this caused a conflict for Angel. He was faced with his previous life while making a new one for himself and he had to choose between the two, which he did when he killed Darla.

Angel and Spike and Drusilla

When Spike and Drusilla arrive in Sunnydale, once again Angel has to choose between his two identities. It’s important that these two come along as his relationship with Buffy is progressing. It puts his two selves - his two lives - directly in opposition. Spike appears to both look up to Angel and to compete with him. He says himself he learned a lot from Angel (calling him his “Yoda”). Angel, in turn, knows a great deal about Spike and Drusilla. He knows how they think, how they operate - intimate details - and he frequently uses this to manipulate them, both as Angel and as Angelus. This is another trait that seems to be at the core of Angel’s character, regardless of the state of his soul.

Angel and Xander

Xander is one of two non-vampiric characters who seem to truly “get” who Angel is. Xander never fully trusts Angel, both because he doesn’t trust vampires as a whole and because he’s very protective of Buffy. Throughout the first three seasons of Buffy there’s a quiet rivalry between Angel and Xander, with Angel trying to convince Buffy that he’s good and Xander trying to convince her otherwise. It’s important to note that Angel with a soul takes a jab at Xander when he gets an opportunity to do so, when he’s able to use the excuse of acting a part. This happens when Angel confronts Spike at Sunnydale High, trying to convince him he’s still Angelus. It also happens when Angel pretends to have joined Faith and the Mayor. This doesn’t seem to be by accident on Angel’s part.

Angel and Faith

Faith also sees a broader picture of Angel. This becomes particularly evident when she goes to him for help, having no other options. Faith also has a duality about her and a great deal of self-loathing regarding the bad things she’s done. The two of them understand each other in a way that’s unique to them.

The reason Angel and Angelus create a problem with the vampire lore is that the separation has nothing to do with the lore. It’s Angel’s own distinction. But, on close observation, shades of Angelus can be seen in Angel and vice-versa.

I’m still rewatching, so I may write more on Angel later.

[rhoeysama]

Rant: The Undue Hate Directed at Jonathan Byers (and Jancy)

Before I delve right into it, I’d just like to acknowledge that Steve deserved better than what happened to him in season 2, and I truly hope that next season will treat him well. I adore Steve now; he’s made a dramatic turn-around as a character and took me by surprise in likability, and I really hope that he returns for the rest of the show, and gets the closure and also the affection he should have. And hopefully doesn’t get his ass kicked again. 

With that said, let's launch into the meat of the issue.

The number one argument/complaint I keep seeing against Jancy, popping up again and again and again, is “Jonathan never apologized for taking the photo, and it was never addressed that he was being a creep”. 

This is completely false. Jonathan did in fact apologize, and acknowledged that what he did was wrong, directly to the person he had wronged: Nancy.

Nancy: Have you been…doing this a while? Jonathan: What? Nancy: Photography?  Jonathan: Yeah. *shrugs* I guess…I’d rather observe people than, you know… Nancy: Talk to them. Jonathan: I know. It’s weird. Nancy: No! Jonathan: No, it is. It’s just, sometimes…people don’t really say what they’re really thinking. But you capture the right moment…it says more. �� Nancy: What was I saying? Jonathan: What? Nancy: When you took my picture.  Jonathan: 

It was addressed and he apologized for it.

It was addressed, and he apologized for it.

What was he supposed to do besides apologize and admit that he was wrong? 

His mistake was what gave them leads to solve the mystery of his missing brother and Nancy’s missing best friend in the first place. Putting things into perspective, Jonathan’s mistake pales in comparison to the predicament they found themselves in: two missing persons - Will and Barbara - both of whom are important in their lives, an unknown and dangerous entity at large, a faked death, a government conspiracy and cover-up. Whenever Jancy is being portrayed in a negative light and criticized, I notice that these elements, that make Stranger Things the interesting story that it is, with all the otherworldly, supernatural and political going on, it all gets thrown out the window, and it’s all distilled down to some basic high school soap opera with no regards to context.

So, let’s talk about Steve. I’m pretty sure that Steve didn’t actually ask Jonathan to drive Nancy home after the party; we never saw it happen; there was no indication of any interaction between Steve and Jonathan at that party, or even any signs of Steve being aware of Jonathan’s presence. It is therefore fair to assume that Jonathan made that story up, to save face for Steve who ditched his drunk girlfriend. Jonathan could easily have taken advantage of the situation by taking credit for driving her home, and make Steve look bad. But he didn’t try to get between them. If anything, he was trying to patch up their relationship, because he’s actually a good friend who cares about Nancy’s happiness. He even tried to convince her that her drunken ravings were just that: drunken ravings, while Nancy wasn’t so sure it’s quite that simple.

Steve wasn’t a bad boyfriend per say. Just not really on Nancy’s wavelength; they weren’t on the same page and that bothered her so much that it became a deal-breaker. She realized that it couldn’t work between them, and although she tried to pretend that it could, she realized that she was merely lying to herself, and to Steve, and it wasn’t fair to either of them. It was nobody’s fault that it didn’t work out between them; not Nancy’s, not Steve’s, and not Jonathan’s. Steve’s solution to Nancy’s problems have always been to go do something to get her mind off it; “let’s just go catch a movie”, “let’s just go party and pretend to be stupid teenagers”. Distraction is only a temporary band-aid solution; reality has a tendency to catch up to you sooner or later and burst your bubble. What you resist persists, as they say. And that’s precisely what was happening with Nancy. And Steve isn't a bad person, because he meant well; he just wanted to help. But unfortunately, for Nancy, it was only making things worse.

I find that Jonathan gets an undue and disproportionate amount of crap for this one mistake he made. A mistake that didn’t do any lasting damage to anyone, and a mistake which he more than makes up for with compassion, support, reliability, selflessness and friendship. And any great relationship is built on friendship. (Stancy, in comparison, as I see it, was initially built on sneaking off to make out in secret, partying and having sex. Sure, it’s fun and exciting and sexy, but that’s not enough to keep two people together.) 

Jonathan and Nancy’s relationship started off with initial distrust and skepticism, which was replaced with loyalty when they proved that they could have each other’s backs in the face of grave danger. The loyalty and trust were born when Jonathan pulled Nancy back from the Upside Down, from certain death. They saw that they worked well together as a team, highly in-sync, willing to fight together for a common cause. In season 1, Nancy helped Jonathan find and fight the monster to save Will, Hopper and Joyce. In season 2, Jonathan helped Nancy get justice for Barb, and Nancy helped exorcise the monster out of Will. They shared in the trauma and loss, and the burden of it, which is something that only the two of them truly understand, and this shaped their relationship into what it is now.  

I truly hope we see all of this more fleshed out next season, because I do think that they rushed it a little bit in S2, and left a lot of things out due to time constraints (and introducing all these new characters all competing for screen time), and I also hope that Steve gets the closure he deserves. 

That about sums up my thoughts and what I needed to get off my chest. Thanks for sticking around. 

[talesfromthesnogbox]

It’s Okay to Not Be Okay

Summary: Jim Hopper knew it was a real emergency when he was woken in the night by a phone call from his son-in-law Mike from the hospital. All was not well, but Jim reminds Mike that sometimes it's okay to not be okay.

Notes: So I don't know why I hurt myself with these awful headcannons. I also don't know why I torture myself with writing when I 100% have no time to write so it was written at 1am :)

I have zero experience with any of this by the way, sick children and hospitals are foreign ground.

Please don't hate me for this? Sorry it ended up being so long?

“Joyce… Joyce… Joycie.” Jim shook his tiny wife awake.

She was angry, being woken in the middle of the night when he knew fully well that she had to work the next morning until she saw his face, filled with fear and worry. Her anger softened, as she looked up at him with concern in her sleepy eyes.

“The kids.”

If there was anything that could get Joyce out of bed in the dead of the night, it would be one of her children in danger. That included her’s and Hop’s adoptive daughter, El and her young family.

As a young teenager, the girl had been more than supportive of Jim and Joyce’s relationship, and of course, Joyce became the mother El never had. Joyce became Jim’s blessing in disguise, helping him navigate through raising a teenage girl on his own. El was the catalyst to their relationship, and in many ways, they were the perfect fit. They balanced each other out, showed each other reason, especially when El started dating that Wheeler kid.

“She’s too young.” Hop would lament, confiding in Joyce while their daughter sulked in her room. “She’s acting she’s gonna marry the guy. They’re fifteen, there’s no reason for all the… all the handsy stuff on my couch. He needs to respect that this is not his house and they’re way too young for all that… that…”

“Oh okay Hop, and how old were you when you were caught with a hand up someone’s daughter’s shirt?” Joyce fondly remembers giving him a look that turned him red. It was different when it was his kid. He was right, they were young, and he argued he was only looking out for his daughter, especially considering her naïve upbringing, but in hindsight, he was a little harsh on them. Especially considering they did end up married after all.

Which brought him to the present.

The Wheelers liked their sleep. The young couple was twenty-seven going on ninety with the way they turned in promptly at 11:00pm and stayed in bed as long as they could the next day. Their one and a half year old daughter Emily was probably part of the reason why they valued their sleep so much, but even the bouncing baby slept like a rock. So when Jim got a call from Mike at nearly three in the morning, he knew something was wrong.

When Jim and Joyce burst into the hospital waiting room, they instantly spotted their son-in-law.

Mike Wheeler was no longer the lanky teenager he used to be. The boy had grown to be nearly taller than Hop, and was just as hard headed. The two of them didn’t always see eye to eye, especially when it came to El and her wellbeing, but there was no arguing that the man would always be there for his daughter and her husband.

Mike did not look good. Puffy eyes, tearstained cheeks… he was beside himself with emotion. Joyce ran to him, enveloping the man she’d known since he was waist high in a comforting hug only a mom could provide. He was unembarrassed as he let the tears fall down his pale cheeks, and Joyce looked to Jim as he placed a comforting hand on the boy’s shoulder.

“How is she?” Jim asked in a quiet voice.

“I… I don’t know. They won’t say anything. Dr. Owens has a team here… they’re with her now but… but it doesn’t look good.”

Jim dropped his chin, looking to the ground willing his tears not to fall. He sniffed loudly, rubbing his eyes to play off the redness as allergies when her heard a small, tear-filled voice. “Daddy?”

Hop looked up to see his daughter, the strongest woman he’d ever known, completely break down.

“Ellie, come here.” He said, hugging her close to his chest and letting her tears fall. It was tough when she was thirteen, but it was somehow tougher to watch her cry at twenty-seven. It was even tougher still knowing exactly how she felt.

“I’m going to grab some coffees.” Mike told Jim three hours later. The four of them waited in the uncomfortable seats hearing nothing about the one and a half year old’s condition, and Mike needed a walk.

“I’m coming with you.” Jim replied. He’d gotten a brief rundown once everyone had calmed down. Something happened at home with Emily… something bad, but Jim had yet to get any details.

The little girl was special. Mike remembered feeling a burst of pride and a burst of fear when he’d caught the girl levitating some of her toys in front of her at just six months old. Sure, it was adorable, but he had no idea how dangerous it could become.

Jim and Mike walked in silence towards the cafeteria filled mostly with off-duty hospital personnel grabbing breakfast and a quick dose of caffeine before a long day’s work.

“So what exactly happened?” Hop asked unabashedly.

Mike sighed and ran his hand through his mess of curly hair. “Em woke us up around one this morning crying. El thought maybe she was hungry so we tried feeding her, we tried changing her diaper, rocking her. We tried everything but she just kept crying louder and louder until she was screaming. At one point, we thought she was going to pass out, she was screaming so much.” Hop could hear the tears in his voice, threatening to spill over once again. “Poor El, she’s such a good mom. She just kept bouncing her and rocking her… making funny faces to try to get her to crack a smile and stop screaming. I started getting annoyed. God knows why I tried to reason with an 18 month old, but then everything was floating, and her screams just got louder, blood started pouring from her nose, her ears, her eyes. Oh my god Hop it was horrifying, and then it all stopped. The screaming, the floating…” Hop could hear an edge to his voice. “Em just went limp in Ellie’s arms.”

Hop heard the edge in Mike’s voice, blood rushing from his face in fear for his granddaughter.

“I thought she’d just tired herself out at first, fallen asleep, but she wasn’t responding to anything, wasn’t breathing. Hop it scared me shitless… my little girl… we rushed her in, the team hooked her up, so many wires and tubes, then they took us outside, said we couldn’t be with her, that it didn’t look good. That’s the last we’ve heard.” Mike let out a sob and Jim gathered his son-in-law into his arms as he cried.

It was all too familiar. The sudden panic, rushing to the hospital, all those tubes and wires… it all brought him back to Sara. He knew exactly what Mike was feeling, and he knew how awful it was.

“Look, kid… the next few hours are going to be the toughest hours of your life.” His voice shook, but he tried to stay strong for the young man beside him. “I have faith in those people, they’ll bring her out of it, they’ll get her through and you and Ellie will be holding Em shortly.”

“But…” Hop dreaded the question he knew was coming, because he knew the possibility was totally valid. “But what if she doesn’t?”

“Kid, you can’t think like that.”

“Did you think like that?”

Jim sighed, knowing fully well he did. But that was different. Cancer… he had some time with her before she… Sara’s illness came quickly, but it was nothing like what Mike and El were going through now. He had some time to prepare himself, talked to doctors about what to expect, and in hindsight, he was thankful for that time.

“I did.” Jim admitted. “It’s hard not to when you’re in this situation.”

“I just… I don’t even know what to do right now. Ellie, she’s been quiet all night. I know she thinks it’s her fault that Emily has these powers. I don’t know how to comfort her knowing that maybe Em won’t be okay.”

The conversation felt all too familiar. The only difference was that Hop didn’t have anyone to talk to about it when he was in that exact situation. If he had, maybe his life would be different; maybe he wouldn’t have pushed Diane away and came back to Hawkins.

“I’m going to let you in on a little bit of wisdom from one man to another, and I hope you’ll take this not from El’s dad, but from a man who’s been where you’re sitting.” He started. “Every day… every single day of my life, I feel terrible for how I treated Diane.”

The younger man looked up at his father-in-law with a furrowed brow.

“Pain will make you do dumb things, kid. You’ll make an ass of yourself, say a lot that you regret, but you can’t let it get to you. No matter what happens, you need El, and she needs you. It’s going to be hard, trust me, it’ll be the hardest thing you’ll go through together, but you can’t push her away. Don’t be like me.”

Mike looked straight ahead and fiddled with his wedding band, letting his tears flow down his cheeks.

“I never wanted to admit this to you because you were always such a smug little bastard as a teenager, but you’re really good for her Mike. You’ve got a good heart, and I know you want to be there for Ellie. It’s okay to not know how to make her feel better, and it’s okay to be angry and upset. Just know that she’s feeling all these things too. Let her in, don’t try to work it all out on your own and don’t pretend to be strong… it’s okay to not have all the answers and break down every once and a while.” Hop swallowed the lump in his throat. “She’s your wife and she loves you. She made a vow to you, for better or for worse, and I know my Ellie, she’ll stick to it.”

Mike choked out a sob and leaned into the former police chief. “I love her so much, I just hate seeing her in pain.”

“I know, kid, I know.”

The younger man wiped his eyes and rose to his feet, heart pounding in his chest. “I’m an idiot. I shouldn’t have just left her up there.”

“You’re not. Go back to her, I’ll grab us all a little something.”

He turned to walk around. “Hey chief?” Jim regarded him with raised eyebrows. “Thanks for this.”

“No problem Mike. Now go see your wife.”

--

Just as he suspected, Jim returned to the waiting room to find El huddled close to Mike on those uncomfortable chairs, his fingers running through her dark locks as he hummed to her. Kid was a fast learner.

“Is she okay?” He asked Joyce, handing her a cup of coffee.

“She’s terrified for her baby girl. And Mike?”

“Same.”

“Mr. and Mrs. Wheeler?” Mike gently shook El, and everyone anxiously rose to their feet. The doctor’s face was unreadable, but hope bubbled in Jim’s heart for his granddaughter.

“Come with me, you can see her now.” El let out a breath and took Mike’s hand. She looked back at Jim and Joyce before disappearing through the doors to see their daughter.

[brakken]

Replayed Life is Strange ep. 5, thoughts below.

Buckle in - I had a lot to say.

I was nervous about revisiting this one. The first time I played, this ending wrecked me. And I mean wrecked. I was in tears for hours. I had trouble sleeping for weeks. I couldn’t think about the game without wanting to cry. I wanted to draw fan art for it, but couldn’t without breaking down. In many ways, I’m still affected by it. This game changed me.

So, I was nervous. And not just because of how hard it hit me the first time, but I was nervous about how I’d react in replaying. Would I notice something I didn’t the first time, that would ruin the experience for me? Would I cry as much? And if I didn’t, would that mean that I didn’t like it as much? How much of that original feeling was satisfaction, and how much was disappointment?

-spoilers ahead for LiS Ep. 5-

I touched on this very briefly last time, but I want to talk about it further here, where it comes more into play: 

I do not like the Jefferson twist. Coupled with Rachel’s death, it is a shallow and uninteresting answer to her disappearance, regardless of their attempts to pretty it up with the Prescott’s involvement. Strip away the red herrings and tangled threads, and what you’re left with is a dead girl and a murderer. Jefferson becomes unrecognisable in his unveiled role - his tropey villain dialogue and mannerisms separate him so far from his earlier scenes that it may as well have been an all-new person. Maybe this was the intention, but it reads to me as utterly cliche. How frightening would he have been, had he kept his familiar composure? How much more menacing, now that his mannerisms are given a horrific context?

Even within the narrative, his portrayal in this episode feels completely wrong. Jefferson goes from a man with a sick passion for capturing true innocence, to one willing to murder multiple people. It is never understood that murder is part of his pattern. Rachel’s death was an accident at Nathan’s hands, yet now we have Jefferson killing him, Chloe, Victoria, and the intention to kill Max, all with nary a hint of remorse or doubt. He is just the bad guy now - plain and simple. And in a game where so much else is designed to be not so clean-cut, that’s... pretty boring.

With that out of the way, I do think the scenes themselves are done well. Awakening in the dark room is genuinely tense and scary - moreso with Victoria present. Desperately hopping in and out of photographs to different moments of captivity is incredibly effective - it packs on such helplessness and danger.

And even while not being thrilled with Jefferson as the villain, and while understanding it would soon fall apart, it is incredibly satisfying to help Max attain the following victories via time-hopping. A lot of the game focuses on retreading conversations with new information, and consequently, Max displays boosted confidence upon these repetitions. Returning to the first scene is where this is at its peak. She knows everything - and she’s powerful. It’s also in parts like this where I would like to applaud the designers for having a clear vision from the outset (even if I wasn’t entirely thrilled with aspects of that vision). 

A really strong story-telling tool is introducing a solution before the problem arrives, to trick the audience into thinking it’s unimportant until the reveal. Having us take the selfie right at the start of the game is a great use of this. What seemed like just a moment in a scene becomes absolutely vital - but only after we discover we can rewind with photographs. (this is also why the ep.4 Warren moment feels so weirdly deliberate. We already know how her powers work by this point so we’re paying attention every time a new photo is taken.)

--

I’d been put the ending off for a while. 

Once I played up to the art gallery, I took a break and then just... left it there. Left Max in a peaceful moment.

I wasn’t ready.

But lately it seemed like the real world was telling me to return to it. After a week with no breeze, the wind began picking up, and it looked like there could be rain. I found myself idly doodling Chloe and Max in my intervals between work. I had someone here ask me if I’d be writing thoughts for episode 5. I was discovering new music that aligned all too well with where I was at with the characters. 

So, I finally decided it was time, and sat down, and finished playing. Only the next morning did I realise I’d done so on October 11, the in-game day of the storm.

Before moving into the next act of the episode, I want to say I really appreciate the way they’ve sculpted so many different ways to apply Max’s rewind power. It’s great that they’re able to keep surprising me while not emptying their cache too quickly. However, I reaaally wish (and was expecting) that time-freezing would make a return in this finale. It’s used well in ep.2 with Kate, but I feel like it introduced a new threat that is never paid off. Once it’s established that Max’s power can weaken her to the point where it doesn’t function, there is now a looming danger for when that will happen again - maybe this time, the cost will be Chloe, or the town, or even Max herself. But it never does. The closest we get is when Chloe is shot at the end of ep.4, but the power's failure is more directly from Jefferson’s sedation, rather than a weakness on Max’s part. And when she does falter again, it manifests as a prolonged out-of-nowhere dream sequence. There’s some creative stuff present there, but it also stands as a missed opportunity to toy further with tangible peril.

On with the escape. Don’t have much to say here. I may not have been happy with his new portrayal, but it’s still satisfying to watch Jefferson get taken down.  It’s nice to see David on the same team as Max, and it’s a good start to a series of character farewell scenes.

Followed closely by a bad one.

Nathan is thrown to the wayside to an unforgivable degree here. He’s been pivotal in Max and Chloe’s connection uptil now, even though a lot of that happens off-screen. But as soon as he’s no longer the main threat, his presence, character, and life are all discarded. His phone message in the car provides some closure, but is far too little too late and serves more as insult to injury than any kind of saving face.

Meanwhile, Warren, a character with more screentime than Nathan but of relative unimportance to the main story, is given a spotlighted farewell. I don’t get this. I have no harsh feelings against Warren, but insofar as his relevance to Max and Chloe’s arcs, he is a sideliner. Since his primary presence has centred around a potential romance for Max, his farewell scene should be treated with an equal amount of focus. It really annoys me that you are forced to tell him about Max’s powers - there is no way to opt out of it, and all it leads to is him guilt-tripping Max with ‘Chaos Theory’ and ‘choosing the right thing’, which the game is about to throw at us anyway in the dream sequence. It’s also unjust to the scene’s purpose, which is a farewell. We may not fully know it, but we’re saying goodbye to these characters one by one. We’ve just come away from our farewells with Joyce and Frank, and all Warren wants to do is talk plot. But whatevs, I still hugged him.

The confession about letting William die was painful. I wasn’t predicting it to come up again, and by this point it felt like so long ago. And yet, it works. We’ve returned to a Chloe who’s early off of discovering Rachel’s death - and she doesn’t want to listen. And we need her to listen. Most conversations in the game can’t lead to a failure, but I find it really interesting that this one does. 

I’m very conflicted about the dream sequence. Conceptually, I love it. I love when games mess with their established order, and they’re certainly evoking a feeling of helplessness in me upon returning once again to that damn classroom. But, it rubs me the wrong way here, too. We’ve beaten the mini-boss of the game. We defeated Jefferson. Yet the final time we see him is here, forcing us to say words we don’t want to, and watch him take photos of Chloe with us strapped to a chair. I get this is Max internalising her insecurities... but we beat him. We’re onto the final boss, now - the storm. Jefferson is obsolete at this point, and there’s no rhyme or reason to show him in power again.

(sidebar: the bottle-collecting in the hide-and-seek segment was confusing and dumb and made me angry that they were still injecting completion rewards this late in the story)

I also don’t like the Dark Room sequence of the dream, because it villainises Chloe. All the other sequences present us with twisted versions of Arcadia Bay residents. Dead versions, cruel versions. We’re witnessing the weight of guilt that coincides with the coming choice, culminating in an encounter with the Other Max, and Chloe saving us from her. This should have been Chloe’s first appearance in the dream. The Dark Room sequence where she jeers at Max’s shortcomings seems so out of place with the rest of what is being said. I think this is especially noticeable given the following walk down memory lane, showing us everything we’ll lose on the alternate side of the choice. 

(sidebar: I wish that the walk had been done better - I never knew when to stop and listen to the voiceovers and when to continue onto the next highlighted moment, and it was always jarring whenever the dialogue got interrupted)

I was fully ready for Rachel to appear in this dream, in some form or another. With everything culminating, and Max messing more with time, coupled with how blunt they were to put Rachel in the ground in the previous ep, I was waiting and I was hoping. But she never showed. And I don’t understand why. As I said with Nathan, Rachel is integral in the centric plotline of Max and Chloe’s reunion. I need to stress this - even though she’s never seen on-screen, she is a dominating factor in our two main characters’ growth, and is little more than a footnote in this finale.

What we get instead at the end of this dream, is Other Max. I don’t have much to say about her. In my eyes she’s very much just a culmination of the dream thusfar. She doesn’t represent much to me beyond that, except a missed opportunity to meet Rachel and find out what the hell is going on.

Can we touch on that quickly, before the final scene? What the hell is going on? I don’t want to have everything bluntly spelled out, but... did the designers really feel like they’d laid enough groundwork that the answer should be obvious? When Chloe hamfistedly states it’s a mystery we’ll ‘obviously never figure out’... damn. That hurts. I mean, I have my own theory - I like it, and it’s the lens I choose to view the story through. But it’s unfair to put it on the players to do this heavy-lifting. We relied on the designers to draw the path for us to follow, and they took us to a dead end.

So let’s talk about the final choice. Even in replaying, and with the dream sequence’s attempts to balance the scales last-minute, my decision here still remained the same, for a couple of reasons. The first being the game’s true title, as I have mentioned earlier - ‘Save Chloe: The Game’. And hey, this doesn’t suddenly change in the final episode. This was, for me, the fixed goal as soon as I caught onto it. And to save Chloe here, she needs to be able to live past her grief. Contrasted to the alternate Chloe, whose prison was inescapable - saving her came from letting her go. But here, we need to hold on. 

Hold on, hold on, hold on.

My second main reason is Max’s character growth, and the overall narrative. This young girl is warned of a coming storm, and is then given time-altering powers. And she is constantly asking why. Not just why she got powers, but what she is meant to learn from having them. On the surface, what she learns is ‘don’t mess with time a bunch because a storm will happen’ and with that you can lean either way on the choice. But if I was going to carve right to the heart, I see the story saying ‘you can’t fix all your mistakes, but you can move through the consequences and grow in the aftermath.’ Every problem she's faced in the story uptil this point, she has tampered with to some degree in order to solve. And to do so, again, for this final decision, would make her arc amount to nothing. This needs to be different from letting William die, otherwise the game could have ended there. There is no easy decision, but the storm is here. All the pieces lie where they fell, both good and bad. 

I’m tearing this damn photograph.

All that said, I can’t and won’t fault anyone for going the other way. I haven’t played or watched the alternate ending, so far all I know it performs well and ticks story checkboxes that I can’t see over here on the ‘bae’ side.

This choice felt and still feels like the right one to me. From outside the narrative, I can certainly weigh the options and see sacrificing Chloe as the more viable. (though if you want to talk pragmatism, there is absolutely no reason why either of them should think that letting Chloe die should fix everything)

But while it’s important to ask ‘what would I do?’, it’s also been immensely important to me in these playthroughs to ask ‘what would Max do?’, or further, ‘what could Max do?’

So that was my choice. As I said at the beginning, I was nervous as to how I’d feel at the end, after having been so deeply affected the first time. And now, after crying through the whole epilogue, I found myself wondering if I’d cried enough. I looked up the scene online and watched it again, and cried. And then again, and cried. But what was this empty feeling? Is this what it felt like before, or was something blocking me from experiencing it properly?

After stepping outside into the 4am light, and then another rewatch, I realised I was, in a way, messing with time. Trying to force things, just like Max was. I even had my own Other Max in my head, making me question my own thoughts and feelings. So it was time to let it be what it was, and move on. I couldn’t recreate my first play, but I could let myself get swept up in this one.

Since finishing the game, it’s been raining non-stop here. I’ve kept inside, surrounded by the aftermath of this playthrough.

Playing this game changed me. For all it did right and all it did wrong, I was affected. It’s the first time in my life that I’ve consciously noted a tangible shift in who I am as a person. It’s brought me closer to my emotions, and has altered my creativity. It made me revise one of my comic ideas into a game - something I would never have considered on my own.

Even with all these thoughts, I reckon this comic I made accurately sums up my whole experience. 

And as I’ve done each time, here are my favourite moments from this episode:

-'I’ll always be with you.’ ‘Forever.’

-Clasping hands, as the storm rages.

-Max, unable to watch, leaning into Chloe, who looks on with newfound strength.

-Driving through the town, now in pieces. Max, too, in pieces.

-Max’s weak smile when Chloe moves to comfort her. It’s going to be okay. They’re together.

--

(heck, I cried just typing those out, I am so done, haha)

To anybody who read this far - thank you so, so much. This game holds a lot of emotional value to me, and hence these write-ups are probably the most personal thing I’ve put out here for people to see. So thank you for taking the time to look at this. I hope you’re having a wonderful day.

Wah, this was all in preparation for the first episode of Before the Storm, and now episode 2 is about to be released. I gotta dig in!

As always, here’s a lil sketch <3

[writingishard-loverandloser]

Hey could I get a match up for it and stranger things? I'm like 5'3" and bi. I've boy short, bright blue, and and deep brown eyes with big glasses. I've asthma so I don't really play sports but I'd love to. I love drawing and making things and reading. Holy shit I'm a fucking nerd. I'm usually labeled the mom friend and care alot about those I'm around. I'm very protective but also terrible with feelings lol I've been told I'm a flirt but also and angry chihuahua who can stop cursing lolol

First of all you’re like the Reddie love child we’ve all been looking for and I love it.

IT:

I ship you with Mike!

God we would love his smol fiery mouthed chihuahua. You and Mike met when you were riding home one day. You say Mike getting beat up by Bowers. It was just him but by how bad Mike looked you guessed that the others were there earlier and Henry just stuck around to kick Mike while he’s down. Of course — being the decent person you are — you couldn’t stand for it. “Hey, Bowers! Cut it the fuck out you freak!” Bowers turned around and sneered at you, “Why aren’t you a pretty thing. Maybe I can have some fun with you instead of the low life.” “Do not fUCKING TOUCH ME!” Right after you screamed Bowers fell face first onto the ground, behind him a bruised and bloodied Mike stood over him holding a large stick. “Thank you...” “You too...” Needless to say the two of you felt a strong connection after that. You’re actually the reason he got so into books. The two of you would read the same book then have in depth conversations about it once you finish. You’d always ride your bike to his house after school and draw while he finishes his chores. Your excuse was that you like the landscape but really you’d take any excuse to be around him constantly. Your sketchbooks are filled with cute drawings of him and his animals. Mike always knew he cared about you he just wasn’t sure how much he really did — since you guys met and started hanging out before the IT summer. When you all were in the sewers at IT’s lair he noticed how protective he was, how close he was, how his heart started pounding whenever you shifted your stand slightly away from him out of fear of you wandering, how when Bowers attacked him you were the thought in the back of his mind that made his will to live even stronger. He didn’t feel that with any of the other Losers. A few weeks after everything was over he told the other boys about it during a sleepover at Bill’s house. Richie laughed in his face, “You like her, man!” “No… no she’s my friend. You’re all my friends.” Richie scoffs, “Who’s the first person that comes to your mind when you wake up in the morning?” “Y/n…” Stan injects, “What about when you go to sleep?” “Y/n…” Ben smiles, “Do you want to sing but throw up all at once?” Bill adds, “D-d-does your stomach tie into knots when she l-laughs.” Eddie gives him a knowing glance, “Does your heart to backflips and breath catch in your throat when she smiles?” Richie smirks, “Does your groin start to tingle when she stands close to you?” “Richie!” He laughs, “Do you do any of that stuff when it comes to any of us? Or even Bev?” Mike blinks and shakes his head. Richie grins, “Well there’s your answer!” Mike stands up slowly, “I, uh… I have some place to be.” Stan winks at him knowingly, “We know.” With that Mike smiled at them and ran out the door. MEANWHILE: Bev had just convinced you to let her look through your sketchbooks and she can’t stop smiling, “These are fantastic!” You smile shyly, “Thanks.” “But like all of them are of Mike…” You guys widen a bit and heart lurches. She smirks, “Do you like him?” “Fuck off! Of course I don’t! We’re just friends.” Bev gives you a look, “Just friends don’t draw just friend in flowery heart crowns sitting on your porch.” Oh shit. She’s got you there. “If you like him why don’t you just tell him?” Bev continues. “Easy for you to say,” You scoff, “Every boy in town has liked you at some point. You’re pretty and smart and—” “Stop. I’ve seen the way he looks at you.” You bite your lip, “Really?” Bev smiles, “Go get him.” So you run to his farm. By the time Mike got home you were asleep in a pile of hay in the barn with two sketchbooks on your lap and a origami heart in your open hand. Mike smiled softly and picked the sketchbooks up from your lap carefully sitting beside you. You never let him look through your sketchbooks for now painfully obvious reasons. He couldn’t help grinning as he flipped through the pages. The pictures gave him confidence — some proof that you like him too. He was halfway through the second sketchbook when you opened your eyes. Horrified and embarrassed that he was looking through the last thing you’d want him to see right now. “Oh God…” You gasped sitting up, “I can explain those. You see— I— I just—” You sigh in embarrassment and frustration. Mike open his mouth to speak but you cut him off. “I like you a lot okay?!” You blurt out, “And I made this for you,” You hold out the origami heart, “I’m terrible with this stuff I’m sorry. I know you probably don’t feel the same way I just love you a—” Mike cut you off with a kiss. Your eyes widened but them you melted, leaning into it. “I love you too,” Mike whispers, pulling away.

ST:

I ship you with Jonathan!

The two of you are hella compatible. You have similar interests but your personalities are just different enough for the two of you to benefit from the relationship. The two of you met in woodshop. He was having trouble so you helped him and made sure he didn’t fail the course. Neither of you had too many friends so you kinda stuck by each other. You were at his house a lot and his family loved you. He introduced you to different music and you introduced him to good literature. You and Will bonded over art and would draw and listen to music all the time. Joyce just loved that her oldest hs somebody. You were sweet and protective — you remind Joyce a lot of herself when she was younger. When Will disappeared you were there. You knew that Joyce and Jonathan would be destroyed so you needed to be strong. You let Jonathan talk and cry — even if you weren’t sure how to comfort him it was comforting for Jonathan just knowing you were there. You lost your shit when Steve started harassing him in the school parking lot. Screaming profanities he didn’t know existed. When Will came back you gave Jonathan space and time — something Nancy couldn’t — you knew he needed time to settle back into things about you knew it was comforting for him knowing you’d be there. And you were. Jonathan and you were back to normal in no time with the exception of Nancy. He started to see you in a new light during this time. You were strong, smart, caring, protective, creative, beautiful, funny, and the only person outside his family willing to wait for him. You waited. And got along with his family like they were your own. You noticed him acting slightly different around you but didn’t let it bother you. You were spending a lot more time at the Byers’ house when Will started getting worse. You wanted to help him. You knew Joyce and Jonathan mean well but you also know how suffocating they can be. Helping Will escape is one of your many hobbies. You and Will were sitting on his bed drawing when Will suddenly spoke up, “Do you like my brother?” You froze for a second before responding without looking up, “Why do you think that?” “It’s just… the two of you are always around each other. He cares about you a lot. He’s always talking about you,” Will glances up at you, “And I’ve seen the way you look at him.” “You’re a very observant kid,” You comment in a slightly annoyed tone. Will chuckles, “Thank you.” Will really made you think. You and Jonathan have been there for each other for a while. And you knew you both cared about each other… but you guess there’s something else there if a part of you melts whenever his soft brown eyes been yours. When everything went to shit — Will’s a spy, a creature’s after Hawkins again, everything is more dangerous than ever before, and now Jonathan has to leave you to go burn out Will while you stay with Steve — Jonathan couldn’t let anything else happen without letting you know. Before he got into the car he ran back and kissed you. It was explosive, powerful, electric, soft… it was everything. “He pulled away breathless and rested his forehead on yours, “I love you…” Joyce honked the horn of the car to tell him to hurry up, “I have to go. Don’t die.”

[tirednerd2012]

This turned out wayy longer and I’m so sorry

But More about Jonathan being Vecna’d cause I feel like everyone had headcanon for everyone but him getting attacked.

Just first it seems like a conversation with Will, but then Wills words turn sour, blaming him for what’s happened and not being there for him. It’s an easy vulnerable spot to get Jonathan not to fight back or try anything. The guilt just eats at him so badly. He deserves this, it’s better him than Will (or if an AU where the Byers come back early before Max, better than any of the kids)

Vecna just sensing this emotionally vulnerable person and it’s an even easier target. Everyone so on edge guarding Max getting caught off guard by Jonathan now floating into the air.

Will getting kicked into overdrive, he fumbles to get a mixtape of Jonathan’s while yelling at everyone to do something. He grabs the Walkman out of Max’s hands and pushes Steve or someone taller to pop the headphones on before Jonathan’s up too high.

If it’s like max the first time around, they get him down and Will is clinging like glue. He cannot risk losing his brother, but now everyone is suggesting they use him as a bait to Vecna? Fuck that. He hates the plan, only going along with it because Jonathan allows himself to be the key. He says something like “I’m just glad it’s a different Byers this time.” With a weak smile.

The whole plan happens, but with Will keeping guard like Lucas and making sure the plan works. Joyce, Hop, Mike, and Argyle are with El, the others in their original positions.

The illusion is the same, but Jonathan can easily understand what’s happening now. These harsh words aren’t Will, now he’s just got to fight his guilt and hop from memory to memory. Instead of the dance, he ends up somewhere positive associated with his family or even with Nancy. It works for a while until Vecna finds him, the fight with him and El happen once again.

Poor El, seeing all these guilt ridden memories and now being forced to watch Vecna kill her older brother. It’s too much. And will :( seeing it’s not working on the outside. The damage actually happening and feeling so hopeless because he can’t do anything. The Walkman fell and shattered from Jonathan’s pocket.

When Vecna disappears and Jonathan is left in the same state Max was in canonically, it’s terrifying. Will use sobbing and screaming for anyone to call an ambulance while trying to reassure Jonathan he’s okay. Its not that bad, they’ll fix it. He’ll help his big brother for a change. Jonathan is clinging to him weakly, shaking and letting himself be scared in that moment.

Everyone in the hospital after :( The Byers-Hopper clan haven’t moved since he was treated.

First of all, please never apologize to me for sending me long messages, especially when it's about one of my favorite things in the world.

Second of all, MY HEART.

Jonathan would be so emotionally vulnerable to the idea of Will also blaming him for everything. Will is Jonathan's one constant. His mom was always at worked to provide for them and their dad was... well, their dad. Will has been the one constant source of happiness and comfort for Jonathan. Will gave him purpose and he loves his brother so much. He loves Nancy and his mom, but Will is his greatest weakness because he holds himself personally responsible for Will.

And El watching her older brother die, especially in a situation where Jonathan would try to protect her while being in danger himself (like when Max tries to stab Vecna after he throws El), would destroy her. She'd be freaking out, Will would be freaking out (bonus points if Will has powers) because they're both watching their brother die in the inside and outside.

Will would refuse to leave his side. He would be devastated and he'd take it the hardest. He'd go off on everyone for wanting to use Jonathan as bait in the first place.

I agree. The Byers-Hoppers fam wouldn't leave his side. Will would be the one constantly right beside him, along with Joyce.

That would give Will motivation to kill Vecna, though.

[jmhalpert]

a collection of stranger things thoughts that nobody asked for with lots of spoilers

okay So first of all, i didn’t care for the 8 storyline and i was really nervous when the season began with these brand new characters ?? but was relieved when the majority of the season was still in hawkins with the s1 characters. the episode where 11 joins the group of punks was a big waste of time imo and i think it could’ve been left out altogether and the season wouldn’t have lost much of anything

the original characters have changed a lot since s1, for better or for worse. i really really loved seeing “emo mike” and how much he’s changed since the first season. seeing him interacting with the boys without having to constantly worry about 11 (even though i was so sad for both of them when they were apart for so long RIP) was really interesting to me and i loved the relationship between will and mike. some of the most touching scenes in the season were between those two which was so nice because we hardly saw them together in the first season. also it goes without saying that noah knocked it out of the park acting-wise and he was amazing to watch

as far as the max thing goes.......... listen. i like max as a character but i did not at all enjoy how she impacted the boys’ dynamic. i was so frustrated when dustin and especially lucas were both so willing to tell this girl all of this top-secret information which not only puts them in potential danger but also is a betrayal of will’s trust ?? like lucas was the one that was so hesitant to trust 11 in season one and it just feels out of character for him to tell her all of that even IF she’s a nice girl (which she is but like.... dude)

dustin was my favorite character in season 1 and i still love him and think gaten is fantastic, but i was frustrated with dustin for most of the season for being so secretive and putting his friends in danger. like i get that he’s a kid but dustin has proved time and time again that he’s one of the best critical thinkers on the show and just the fact that he would keep that weird critter as a pet for as long as he did, and even lie about it, was frustrating to watch and knocked him down a couple of spots on my character ranking. with that being said i would still die for him at any given moment so jot that down

the eleven/hopper dynamic was amazing to watch and so heartwarming and complex and frustrating and fantastic. so many great moments between the two :’) WHICH made it even harder to watch the scenes with 8 because it’s like...... idontwantthese.jpeg LOL get her back where she’s safe (well... relatively) and loved :/ but yeah hopper is such a wonderful character to watch and i feel like david really knows his character inside and out and can portray him so wonderfully !!! wow! 

as far as couples go . i’m whatever about the whole max thing like i said but lucas was a much better choice than dustin would’ve been for her so i’m happy enough with that outcome. i was really surprised that stancy was broken up and jancy was put together so quickly but i think we all knew there were unresolved feelings there so ! it is what it is and i guess i’m glad we got the whole tension thing out of the way LOL! steve was a lot better in this season than last and was thoroughly redeemed as far as i’m concerned. we’ll see what happens with all of that in future seasons i reckon but one thing’s for sure! we’re in for a wonderful slowburn joyce and hopper arc and i’m not unhappy about it! (rip bob)

OVERALL i preferred the lower-key first season. not sure anything can compare to the suspense of the christmas lights and the moving walls and the dynamic of the young kids. also something about eleven having such a limited vocabulary in the first season made everything she said pack that much more of a punch if that makes any sense? with that being said i really did enjoy the new season and seeing some of my favorite characters back at it again !!!! a rewatch will probably be occurring before too long so all of these opinions are subject to change. pls message me with discourse i would love to agree with u and/or fight u without mercy

[tialovestelevision]

No Place Like Home

Time to approach the mystery that is Dawn directly for the first time this season! Hopefully, we get them approaching the person that is Dawn here too. 1. Running monks! Run monks, run! They have candles! They are very, very scared. It’s two months ago, and someone’s trying to kill them. They have to protect the Key. Whatever’s after them is breaking down the very heavy door. They finished whatever they were doing just before the door gave. I’m assuming they’re dead. 2. Buffy fighting a very large vampire. And bantering. And winning. Dusted! But now she has a glowy ball. She doesn’t know what it is. Opening credits! 3. As I watch the credits, I’m eating McDonalds’s new Mac Junior. It’s not bad. It’s kinda a tiny Big Mac. I know McDonalds is bad for me, but it’s tasty and in this fallen world we take what joy we can. Especially since my favorite fast food growing up was Chik-fil-a, and they kinda spend substantial money on advocating against my family’s existence, so… can’t really eat there. 4. Buffy is making breakfast for Joyce. Joyce is still sick. Her problem is still undiagnosed. Huh… they’re talking about nicknames. Joyce never had any for Buffy, which doesn’t surprise me. Giles is opening the Magic Box today! Joyce wants Buffy to go and have fun, and bring her back a flying broomstick. Dawn complains that flying broomsticks never work. Dawn and Joyce have a book club, an idea to which Buffy reacts with horror. I’m amazed she’ll glance at a book without recoiling after Pat. Dawn’s going with Buffy to the Magic Box. 5. Magic Box! Giles is wearing a wizard hat. Such wonderful stares. Dawn comes in after Buffy. She’s impressed with the store. Giles has no customers yet. Riley and Willow just arrived. Buffy is showing them her ball. Riley wants to go with Buffy to find more balls. Dawn just made Riley feel bad. She’s taking the old Cordy “voice unpleasant truths to people” job. Buffy wishes she was an only child. Dawn broke something. 6. Buffy and Dawn back at home. Joyce’s head hurts. Joyce doesn’t want to go to the doctor. Buffy’s getting her pills. Ran into Ben. There’s also a patient on a rolly bed… he’s a little odd. He doesn’t belong there, and is calling everyone Fascists. Huh… it’s the security guard. “Doesn’t even help. Doesn’t make a damn bit of difference.” He was looking at the pills. “They’re coming at you. They come through the family. They get you through the family.” Buffy thinks someone’s doing this to Joyce. 7. In a building. There’s a monk drawing circles on a map. And door opens. He’s terrified… whatever’s after them - the Beast - is there. She’s tall, leggy, and very, very blonde, and the monk is trembling. 8. Magic Box. Giles sold a thing. He’s delighted. Anya can get Giles a direct line to the troll who sheds conjuring powder. And Buffy’s there. She’s telling them about the guard. Giles is skeptical but willing to help. 9. The building… huh. The one the guard was guarding. The Beast has tied the monk to a chair and is walking around him complaining about how hard he’s making her life. She wants to leave the universe because it sucks. She wants the Key. She wants him to tell her where the Key is. But he’s not telling her, The security guard she’s tied up is pleading for his life. Wow, I think she’s breaking time with her upset. And… she put her hands in the guard’s head and… something? She seems to be in better shape. 10. The Magic Box is VERY busy. Giles is being overwhelmed. Anya is working the register. Buffy is still doing research. Willow is bad at gift wrapping. Anya’s going to take that over. She’s good at things. Anya also knows about a spell to see magic. That seems useful. It’s dangerous but Buffy can do it, and Riley’s helping her with the spell. His insecurity is getting on things again. He’s doing better with it, though, a bit. Kissy time, then she’s going to do the ritual. Her magic circle is shaped more… oblong squarey thing with round corners? Dawn wants to see her do the ritual, but she needs Dawn out of the room. Now ritual time. I do love her shirt. I think the ritual’s done after a bit of a montage… so she should be all trancy now. 11. Yep. Trancy. Eyes all black. She looks lost, but she’s walking through the house. No spells yet. She found Joyce. No spells on her. Wait… Buffy’s looking at a picture of the three of them. Dawn keeps vanishing. Dawn is vanishing from all the pictures. This is creepy, visually, and very well-shot. Buffy’s upstairs again, going to Dawn’s door. Opens it. Walks into Dawn’s room. It’s supposed to be an art studio. Sees Dawn. She’s… vanishing, too. “You’re not my sister.” They were about to fight, but Giles called. He’s learned about the orb, which is the Dagon Sphere. It has a very long history as a protective device that wards off ancient evil - “That Which Cannot Be Named.” She’s about to tell Giles what she saw, but Dawn is behind her. Dawn is being creepy. Buffy says she’ll be back before Joyce gets there. She’s going back to where she found the Orb. 12. And she found Spike hanging out outside her house. She punched Spike. Spike’s insult game is off, and he was out there for a long time judging by the pile of cigarette butts on the ground. 13. At the factory. Buffy’s going inside. No guard on duty now. Of course, the Beast ate two guards already. Buffy found the giant door the Beast broke down. Joyce, meanwhile, came home before Buffy got back, and is looking for her daughters. Dawn is there, and made tea. Says Joyce doesn’t need to worry about Buffy. Buffy continues her exploration of the factory, and found a monk. Tells him she got the Sphere. The Beast is there… and just slapped Buffy across the room. Fight time. 14. Magic Box. Everyone but Anya is exhausted but Anya is delighted. Giles hired her. She’s very, very happy. 15. Buffy’s getting beaten up by the Beast. Very, very badly. Even full-strength hits aren’t doing much. She did manage something with a headbutt. But the Beast isn’t even slowed down. She JUST noticed Buffy has powers. Wow, this is the most severe beating she’s ever survived. She jumped out a window, and the Beast had to stop chasing her because the heel of her shoe broke. And the BEast just broke the building and collapsed it on herself. Buffy’s too hurt to get the monk away. He tells her she has to keep the Key safe. The Key is energy. It’s not the Dagon Sphere. He’s calling the Beat an abomination. They had to hide the Key. They made it human and sent it to Buffy to keep safe. They put the Key in her house. “I didn’t ask for this. I don’t even know… what is she?” “Human. Human, and helpless. Please. She is an innocent in this. She needs you.” “She’s not my sister.” “She doesn’t know that.” Oh god, monks, well-played. Utter dick move - like, wow, you’re terrible - but well-played. 16. Buffy gets home. Dawn stomps upstairs. Joyce asks what it was about; Buffy says “Sister stuff.” Now she’s at Dawn’s room apologizing. Wow, Buffy’s face when she starts to recount a Dawn memory. Dawn wants to know what’s wrong with Joyce, but Buffy doesn’t know. Overall: A lot of people don’t like Dawn - they find her annoying. But I actually like that about her. She’s fourteen. Fourteen-year-olds are annoying - and she was created, by the monks, to be a convincing fourteen-year-old She should be annoying. Michelle Trachtenberg is seriously great in the role. She’s actually the only cast member among those playing teenagers in the show who matches her character’s age. The thing with the monks editing Buffy and Joyce’s memories… ehhhhhhh. Buffy is meant to be a piece of feminist art, a story about a powerful woman who has agency, but it spends a lot of its time stripping her of that. The very nature of the Calling strips her of agency; she did not choose it. It chose her. And now she’s had another Calling stacked on her - the monks bored into her feelings and inserted someone into her heart. That’s pretty awful. Thankfully, Sarah Michelle Gellar responds to it in a way that makes sense for Buffy - immense anger at the man who did it to her, and, once she knows what’s going on, none for Dawn, who is a fellow victim in the conflict between the Beast and the monks. The episode? Frankly emotional, with some lovely bits in the Magic Box, including using Anya really, really well. Have I mentioned I adore Anya? It’s good, is what I’m saying. Maybe a bit triggering, but Dawn’s story is inherently so. The episode’s good. The story about Joyce's illness continues here, too. I think I'm supposed to empathize with Joyce, but honestly I've watched her stomp through this show spreading about as much suffering as any human manages, and it's not even funny suffering like Ethan's work. I empathize with Buffy and Dawn having to watch someone they love be very, very ill, but not really with Joyce.