#and also what the hell htr was going through

[bird-goofle]

@catboy-elias-bouchard I just spotted this and I felt bad about putting this absolute slander on the discord, but

New headcanon: you know how Gerry Keay is described as having “an eye tattoo on every joint”? That for Trexel but nipples

[bracefacefreak]

Agnes Montague, Hill Top Road and that creepy tree...

Ok, so I just spent the good part of a few hours trying to figure out what the hell was going on with Agnes Montague, Hill Top Road, Raymond Fielding and that damn creepy tree, and now you are going to have to suffer through it too. 

So Agnes Montague is born, probably sometimes in the 50′s during a ritual of the Cult of the Lightless Flame. She is to be their Messiah and complete their final ritual. However, being the embodiment of pain and destruction, she is not easy to control. 

So in the 1960′s when she is around 11 years old, Agnes is sent to live at Hill Top Road, a known stronghold of the Web. At this time it is inhabited by Raymond Fielding, a servant of the Web, who uses it as a halfway house for troubled teens, who he promptly sacrifices to his God. 

At some point Agnes rescues at least one of the young men from Raymond’s basement trap (MAG 59.) We aren’t told how Raymond reacts to this, but around this time Raymond begins to stop taking in youths, perhaps to avoid any more escapes/because he recognises Agnes’ ties to another entity?

Raymond Fielding vanishes, likely in the early 1970′s. By this point Agnes is old enough to inherit Hill Top Road and it is discovered that the house is now in her name. It seems likely that Agnes was involved in Raymond’s death, although it is possible that the Web turned on him to allow it’s greater plans to proceed. 

Agnes keeps Raymond’s severed R hand which upsets the rest of the Cult - it seems that this is likely because by this point the Web has some sort of hold over Agnes. The Cult never expected this could happen because of Agnes’ power and connection to the Desolation, but it seems that they were wrong. Raymond’s hand seems to act as some kind of binding between Agnes, Raymond and (to a lesser extent the house.) 

It seems likely that the Web wants to have control of Agnes as part of it’s machinations to prevent the Desolation’s ritual. We are told a number of times the Web (like the End) has never attempted a ritual and does not seem keen on the idea. This later turns out somewhat incorrect but it’s unclear when the Web realised this and it seems likely it may  have known that if another entity attempted and even partly completed a ritual, it would not play well into the Web’s plans to spread itself and the other fears. 

Anyway, back to Agnes. Agnes is said to have remained in the house for a few years, perhaps because of her being bound to it or maybe just because she didn’t want to go back to the Cult. 

However, in 1974 a child vanishes from the street and the locals suspect Agnes. I wonder whether perhaps the Web took him, or maybe he fell through the crack between realities. Soon after this Agnes burns down the house; was this a reaction to the child’s disappearance? A way to try and stop the Web? Simply a wish to leave, especially as she had caught other’s attention by this point and this was a way she could sneak away? Or maybe she could only leave the House if it was destroyed? 

Raymond Fielding’s charred body is found in the ashes of the house, missing his right hand. 

However, Agnes seems to remain bound to Hill Top Road somehow and it seems to me that the tree/box buried beneath it is definitely important here. Firstly, the tree is not badly damaged/destroyed in the fire, it is only mildly scorched, as if Agnes had tried to burn it but had not been able to. In my opinion it seems likely that the Web somehow bound Agnes to the tree/box. Perhaps it forced Raymond to do this before his death. Anyway, from what I can work out (and this is purely my own theory) Agnes and the tree are somehow tied together - Agnes (and maybe this extends to her followers) cannot destroy the tree (probably because it will have some negative effect on her), and she cannot be killed while the tree stands. Does that make sense? 

Sometime after the fire, a young Gertrude Robinson turns up at HTR to explore as she is trying to find a way to stop the Cult of the Lightless Flame. She finds a box of Agnes hair - another feat of the Web - and uses the hair to perform what she believes is a banishing ritual. However, the ritual is actually a binding ritual and somehow binds Agnes and Gertrude together. From this point Agnes refers to Gertrude as her anchor - a tether to humanity and something that prevents her from completing her destiny. Gertrude meanwhile ends up being protected by the Cult as they fear any harm to Gertrude may harm Agnes. This ritual seems to have two purposes. One, it is another way in which the Web has some control over Agnes and therefore the actions of the Cult, plus it’s a back-up in case something happens at HTR. Also, it allows Gertrude to continue on her quest of stopping rituals while being afforded some protection, and as we discussed before, the Web is not keen on a ritual happening, at least at this point in time. 

It’s possible by tying her to humanity, (although I believe Agnes was already likely more human than was probably good for her whole-Messiah-thing - I just think her actions for Ron Sinclair may have been more than a fuck you to the Web), Gertrude’s ritual also accelerated Agnes descent into doubt and ultimately uselessness as the Cult’s Messiah and apocalypse lynch-pin. 

So Agnes and Gertrude live their respective lives for thirty or so years. During this time, Agnes realises that she cannot perform the Cult’s ritual as it will fail and this will mean they will have to wait centuries before they can try again. However, at this point she also can’t kill herself because of her connection to HTR. 

But in 2006, Evo Lensik is compelled (again by the web perhaps?) to uproot the tree and destroys the box beneath. This frees Agnes and allows her to complete her sacrifice for the Cult. It also seems to sever Raymond Fielding’s connection with the house as he is not seen again by anyone who lived at HTR after this time, perhaps because the connection only existed through Agnes and with her gone, so was his link. This might partly explain why the hand was in such good condition, because Raymond was still somewhat alive up to the point where Agnes died. 

Those living at HTR do not report any further paranormal events, at least until the start of the show’s storyline. 

Sorry, that was long, but I hope it made some sense. Would be interested if anyone has their own theories/ideas/comments. I’m always happy to discuss TMA with other fans. 

Thanks. 

[annihilatus]

Predictions for the coming episodes (in no particular order):

-Basira will already be making her way to Hill Top Road. Maybe we’ll run into her there, or maybe we’ll meet her as Jon (and possible company? please?) make their way to HTR. I think it would be fun if her role as Detective plays a part in Jon being able to find Annabelle, since she has Salesa’s camera now.

-someone (hopefully Annabelle!!!) underestimates Martin again

(perhaps this is why she needs to now get rid of Martin (or Martin’s role, rather)

-The Desolation in some capacity is going to come into play. I hope it’s the lighter burning the binding threads away that keep tethering our heroes to an impossible fate.

[I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Agnes chose to end her patron’s ritual attempt early in order to save time while. In fact I think it’d be fair to say Gertrude met with Agnes after the Great Twisting was defeated but before Agnes had decided to make the Choice. I picture her meeting with Gertrude sometime in the middle-ish of the timeline we see in Jack Barnabas’s statement. Gertrude asks her to burn Emma, and I imagine Agnes asked Gertrude to keep an eye on Jack (he didn’t lose his eyes, afterall, and she may have kept Jude at bay while she was alive). I think sometime around this conversation is when Agnes has her revelation about destiny and choice. therefore it’s not impossible to think they may have taken this opportunity to create something able to fight against such a destiny. A lighter that burns through the strings that bind people to the web’s trajectories? Gertrude was keen to keep Jonah from knowing too much of what she knew and knew how to protect herself from his Sight. Perhaps Gertrude had a way of scheduling the lighter to be sent to her office for her successor.]

I assume Jon is still the one who has the lighter on his person, but it’s possible Martin has it. In 162, he says “we still have your lighter” so Martin could have it. Hmm.

In any case I think the lighter will be burning some shit down

-Father Burroughs is a yet undisclosed member of the cult, which would just be so fun bc of his whole stolen faith. What the Girlfriends rescue him and he finds a new faith in this weird little tunnel cult. Burroughs also has a connection to HTR so maybe he is going to be part of our further understanding of/ trek to HTR.

-I’m curious to Georgie’s relationship with The End and her stolen fear. Like, she has to be directly involved in the end game, I would think, at this point. Her fear being stolen like Burroughs would be interesting, if he is in the cult. I also hope we get a scene with Georgie that spurs her into direct action (i know she wants to protect her people, but she’s in danger of falling into complacency). We had such a nice parallel with Jon and Melanie in 194 to their conversation at the end of 157, where Jon gets turned away in his desperate attempt to help Martin. Now Melanie is helping Jon find Martin, I hope Georgie will too.

-The tapes theory i have is p nebulous but I do think they’re webby in nature. I feel like the Web could have bound Jon to the recorders at some point, or bound jon to the recorders and to martin. the recorders are likely to be an integral role in the Web’s ritual that I believe we’re playing out (this is a whole other post lol)

But mostly I’m just excited to see how all this plays out! Little or small, vague or specific, it’s been fun to guess at some of the end game stuff. I’m so glad to have been right about web being entangled in Jonah’s business/and the Archives in a weird Eye/Web collaboration. I didn’t think Jonah would literally be incapacitated so that was actually a delightful surprise, and recontextualizes so much. I thought we’d be headed to the Archives (if that’s a designated place still within the panopticon). Maybe we will still, though I don’t know why we’d detour to Jon’s potential domain at this present moment. I’m glad that in this Eye/Web evidence we’ve seen, Jonah has been an unwitting pawn, just as I’d hoped. I’m glad i remembered trap door spiders exist a while back, so I was screaming when Celia was describing annabelle with martin at a trap door

Anyway this show has made it so fun to try and guess at stuff because even if you’re wrong, you’re still enjoying the hell out of it.

[srseattlestreetnews]

Seattle Street News 50, Mind Control

Local News:

Clone Crisis Connected to Dragon Prince

Reporting and tips have led to some new revelations in the ongoing clone crisis. There seems to be an organization called the “Hand of Dusk” which is behind not only the proliferation and infiltration of clones, but also the summoning of the purple dragon we are calling Prince a few months ago. Sources say this “Hand of Dusk” is some sort of dangerous and deranged dragon cult. What are they up to?

Tipsters! All you tipsters in meat space or in the Matrix, send more tips on the Hand of Dusk. Send in any information you have no matter how small or innocuous. Only by working together can we stop this scourge, and since our corporate overlords don’t seem to be interested in working together, we have to do it ourselves outside of normal channels.

Corps! Get your members tested for clones and let the SSN know your results. But it isn’t just clones you need to look out for. Sources have indicated that Hand of Dusk cultists have infiltrated multiple Seattle megacorps. This conspiracy is extensive and it threatens not just the corps, but also the citizens and SINless. Don’t let your corp arrogance blind you to the dangers affecting us all.

More importantly, Citizens!, there is a conspiracy growing like a poison that is threatening us all, in the form of a dragon cult, a dragon, and the attempted undermining of our democracy. This conspiracy has only been able to thrive because it has used the megacorps, with their extraterritoriality and lack of accountability, and with their secrecy and lack of transparency, to grow, to gain resources, and to threaten us all.

This is the fault of cultists. But Megacorp negligence and unchecked power is what enabled it. Tir Tairngire has more oversight of megacorps, maybe it is time for UCAS to take more of an oversight role in corporate doings. For all our safety.

 Crime Up at the Docks After Barghest Attacks

Two weeks ago, the Knight Errant precint near the docks, was attacked by a pack of Barghests. An HTR response team went into the precinct to help, but in the subsequent battle to destroy the barghests, the entire precinct was burned down. Later investigations noted that before the destruction, the precinct had had all of its equipment stolen. Knight Errant’s incompetence in being able to a) stop the barghest attack, needing to rely on HTR and b) having their precinct completely destroyed is an embarrassment. And the result? All my tipsters tell me that crime and smuggling is up in the docks area in the absence of the Knight Errant precinct.

This leads SSN to suspect that the barghest attack was probably a deliberate attack, but was it orchestrated by corps or by gangs? We’ll continue on with our investigations on the matter—tipsters send in information. Dock workers? Are you still safe?

 Corp News:

Event Horizon:  An Exploration Into The Morally Bankrupt And Culturally Genocidal Monoculture Of The Horizon Media Empire—(by demmalition1)

The Horizon Group is one of the most depraved and homicidal groups of mad men to ever walk upon God’s Green Earth. They take all that is good in life and the artistic pursuit of creativity and distill it into a microcosm of what they want you to see and hear. You will see the pictures of the valiant executive and the scary technomancer. You will hear the screams of a goody-two-shoes corp employee before she is rescued by the noble officers of Knight Errant. You will get some variations on this from time to time, but all in all they are the monotheistic monoculture that you all put in place for better or worse. Yes, I’m putting the blame of their meteoric ascendancy to godhood firmly on your shoulders, dear readers. You choose to watch their crap, to soak in their controlled and sterile messages of corp dominance each and every day of your routine lives. Their toothless criticisms of any misdeeds on their parts are swept under the rug. Even the slightest scent of criticism will send the beast into a blinding bloodthirsty fury as it hunts down the ne’er-do-well and rips them asunder in order to keep the public on their side.

They take all that is good and chew it up, only to regurgitate it back into your mouths as revolting and vile trash that you happily lap up since you know no better. You’ve only tasted the creative vomit that’s got a flavor of bleach, worried that anything that might form even the slightest agitation to your diet would overwhelm your delicate digestive tract. You’ll then regurgitate the same thing to your friends and family, spreading the corporate line just as they planned, removing any thought of questioning their lordship over the domain of your supposedly-critically-thinking-mind.

Anything taken as unique like the hit show “Hammer and the Fang” is eventually diluted to its basest elements and repackaged for the widest audience out there. Nope, we clearly don’t want an engaging story about the overreach of power by the police and the (previously) inherent thought of basic rights for all beings, not just those with SINs. You want them to hunk off another formless blob of aggressively indistinguishable gray blocks as “Hammer defeats Nails in this thrilling Season 1 midseason finale!”  Nope, anything else would be too hard hitting for you.

Horizon is one of the few corps that knows what they’re doing. Starting small in 2061 as a high-level think tank to help earthquake and gang stricken Los Angeles, they hit it big in 2063 after scoring several extremely lucrative PR contracts. Their successful fending off of Aztechnology with the help of the PCC secured their spot to solidify themselves as “The Horizon Group” soon after while restoring LA and UCLA along with their two big spin-offs: Singularity (Matrix) and Charisma Associates (PR). When the Crash 2.0 hit, they were mercifully spared as the rest of the world was ravaged by the fallout, emerging soon after to help rebuild much of the California Free State. After seizing CATco’s Corporate Court seat in 2065, they became the unstoppable AAA that we all know and hate. There’s been a push as of late by the corp to go into my hometown of Chicago (aka Cee Zee, the Noose, Hell on Earth) and replicate LA. All I can say is... you can’t do worse than Ares, those pigfucking whoremongers deserve whatever’s coming to them.

Despite CEO and President Gary Cline’s repeated talks of cleanliness, all is not well in the land of the never-setting-sun. His use as a puppet to dance and wave in front of the public with his larger-than-life lifestyle to razzle-dazzle and distract them from the whisper of a shade’s shadow is truly troubling. They’re the corp so concerned about their public image that there is something hiding behind the smiler’s false face of deceit. A smile and a handshake to distract you from the pickpocket of your mind, wallet, and whatever else he may purvey to your bounty of information. For each awakened team-building exercise in “cross relational synergy workshops” we get a Bogota defeat. For each meta and AI friendly act, we get a Las Vegas Massacre. Even their well-touted P2.0 Social Network and LMG(U56) programs had and still have horrible consequences for everyone involved (remember Christy Daee?). Don’t even get me started on their Cal-Hot sim systems addictiveness and dubious legality or their amazingly absurd abuse of skilljacks.

Their internal voting system is known as “Consensus 2.0”, a way for all employees to provide individual input and vote on the direction that they think the corporation should head. Though this may seem like a good idea, a direct democracy can have disastrous consequences as is showcased by the Las Vegas Massacre of a group of protestors (mostly Technomancers) who were fighting for equal rights. Safeguards were put in place after this allowing “The Board” to reject any proposal that they think would undermine their public image. And God forbid their public image should be hurt. They do perform a lot of charity work, I’ll give them that, but the nefarious duplicity behind their motives of control is not something to be shirked off the minds of the people so easily. Rumors of involuntary kidnappings and medical experimentation on possibility hundreds of Technomancers should not be taken lightly. Nor should self-generated war crimes in order to build public support for manufactured wars be forgotten lest we revert to pliable semi-sentient slime for them to mold. An attractive succubus is still a demon no matter how eloquently it speaks or how beautiful it looks.

“We Know What You Think” is not just a phrase that they toss around lightly. They say it with confidence because they tell you what to think, no independent thought required. Another, unofficial motto of theirs I see mentioned around in the Matrix is “Better Living Through Copyright”. Can’t really blame them, they got laws in place that make the old Fifth World “Mickey Mouse Laws” look like a joke (that they will then patent, trademark, and copyright before suing to death you or anyone else who dares repeat it for a fraction of a nuyen). They’re the guys who’s Spec Ops teams don’t go in guns blazing. Good ol’ Richard (an unofficial internal name for the Dawkins Group) will instead infiltrate the offending corp and through power memetics and industrial-scale cultural engineering persuade them to stop. They’ll then buy only Horizon branded goods and services. Freedom of Thought be damned.

I’m going to propose something, dear reader. Let’s all go down to the same Stuffer Shack and buy the same burger and gush over the same show with the same revelations as everyone else. Let’s also pass by the SINless beggar on the street who was born and will die alone all because she had the misfortune of having a SINless mommy and daddy. Let’s keep filling our minds with mush and our bellies with chemically altered food designed to placate us and keep all the cattle in line as we go to the slaughterhouse of mainstream media. We’ll wear our little ear-tags of “Team Jorge” or “Team Kelly” and argue over the banal nothingness of the modern media zombie empire we’ve allowed to be constructed in front of our very eyes. We could turn the channel, but Horizon owns damn near 70% of all media in the greater Seattle Metroplex. Good luck finding anything of value anyways, it’s all corp owned (except us at the SSN). It’s amazing what ¥225 billion will buy you. Don’t complain, remember, you made this.

Now tune in, zone out, and pray to the altar of your media overlords. You better hurry up, I hear this episode’s the one where Hammer gets his trick knees fixed.

I wonder where all of this will lead us. Hope the ending is a good one, this story sucks so far.

 Entertainment/Supernatural News:

(Angelyne Billboard sighting in the Barrens)

Angelyne Sighting in Downtown!

Last week, a tipster in the Barrens noted an Angelyne billboard sighting. It showed up out of nowhere, as they normally do, a portent and an omen of an impending possible sighting. And sure enough, last night, Angelyne The Undying was seen driving her pink convertible downtown! This has been the first Seattle sighting of The Undying in ten years. What is she up to? Why did she show up in the Metroplex this week after such an absence? Might she be releasing a new album sometime soon? Who was she visiting? What was she doing here? Any tipsters with information on Angelyne the Undying, send in tips!

 Features:

Once More 10--(by Breach)

Although Renraku had claimed to have SCIRE under control by mid-2061, in 2063 the UCAS military seizes control of the arcology and declares it “officially” liberated of the AI’s influence. But while the arcology was cleared, the world was not.

Official history will never tell you the story I am about to.

Deus survived Renraku’s assault and even the UCAS “cleansing”; somehow, in its experimentation on the arcology’s residents, the AI had discovered a way to write its source code into the minds of people, and engineered its escape through a thousand of these meat-drones, who would be numbered among the “otaku” who could connect to the Matrix without need for cyberdecks to process the sensory input.

Unfortunately for Deus, and fortunately for the rest of us, a second AI named Megaera, which Renraku had employed to combat Deus, was uploaded into the Network as well. The two factions of the Network fought a years-long shadow war among each other, each side recruiting more otaku into its ranks to replace losses.

Pax, one of the leading figures in Deus’s faction, made an alliance with the terrorist group Winternight, and plots were hatched. Winternight, with the aid of Deus’s Network, secured weapons of mass destruction both biological and nuclear; Sioux military forces foiled what appeared to be a nuclear attack, but it takes many months for a Corporate Court-sponsored team of counter-intelligence and shadowrunners to fully bring Winternight to heel.

And it was all too late.

Early in 2064, Novatech - Villiers’ megacorp du jure - announced an IPO of 20% of their stock for public sale to commence on November 2. The UCAS stock exchange undertook a massive upgrade project to prepare for the IPO - and this all played into Deus’s plans, which was to upload himself across the entire Matrix, taking over every connected device on the planet. And he very nearly succeeded.

Fortunately, Megaera had known of this plot and together with the Matrix’s first AI, the program Mirage (part of the Echo Mirage team from the first Crash, if you remember) they managed to stop Deus and thwart his plans - but the fallout of their struggle would ruin the entirety of the Matrix, bringing down the entire world network in what would come to be called Crash 2.0.

This time, it was not just networks, however - because Winternight was part of the plot as well. The Winter of ‘64, which started in August, was later proven to be the result of Winternight rituals, meant to cripple the world. As the three AIs battled in the IPO launch, Winternight launched its own attacks, unleashing a Crash-like virus named Jormungand that trapped many in the Matrix (some of whom would go on to become e-Ghosts), and killing many more.

The second prong of the Winternight strike is in the physical realm, as EMPs were set off to further cripple the worldwide network, and nuclear warheads detonated at fault-lines around the world in an attempt to tear the very land itself apart. The warheads, however, fail to detonate with the force science would expect, and the damage and fallout is largely contained locally.

Someone is responsible for saving the world that day - it could have been much worse. I hope they know our gratitude.

Questions about history? Ask Breach! breach.ssn@gmail.com

 Gang News: 

Ancient JuL33T Murdered!

Shocking news out of Puyallup gangland! Ancient Street Sam JuL33T was found poisoned in her quarters the morning of her wedding of mobster Enzo Gianelli. Belial is on the warpath and expect there to be a lot of gang violence over the next few days. Also expect runner teams to be dispatched to find out her murdered the Street Sam.

 Seattle Street News is an independent activist news source released weekly on Tuesdays or Wednesdays

[Watch CorporateSINs on every Wednesday, 6pm PST or on Youtube at, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h11c7BLFQtc&list=PLHKocVDXoWBtzze1SGGUnU6KB5UFrDLFo]

[smoothshift]

In-Depth Cost & Ownership Analysis of W220 Mercedes S-Class via /r/cars

In-Depth Cost & Ownership Analysis of W220 Mercedes S-Class

Hello r/cars! I've owned a 2001 Mercedes-Benz S500 for a little over a year now and I decided to do a fairly lengthy write-up on my experience with its cost and ownership. You always hear people say "There's nothing more expensive than a used luxury car" in response to the temptation of buying a cheap, heavily depreciated used Mercedes or BMW, so I decided to put this to the test and bought one myself. In my area the W220 generation of S-Class can be had for as low as three to five grand, and I managed to buy mine for $2700 at the very end of 2015. For a car that cost nearly $90000 back in 2001, I figured I'd gotten one hell of a deal. I've documented all of my costs for the 2016-2017 period, as well as some of my thoughts on the W220 S-Class as a whole.

General W220 Info: If you are not familiar with the W220, it is the internal designation for the 2000-2006 model years of Mercedes-Benz S-Class, which was and still is the flagship line for Mercedes. The W220 was offered in two variants, the S430 and the S500. The S430 came with the 4.3 liter version of the Mercedes M113 V8 engine, which produced 275hp and 295ft-lb of torque, while the S500 came with the 5.0 liter M113, producing 302hp and 339ft-lb of torque. The W220 received a facelift in the 2003 model year, with changes to the headlights, front bumper, wheels, navigation system, and some minor interior differences.

My S500 is a pre-facelift 2001 model year. Post-facelift W220s are said to be more reliable than the pre-2003 cars, but those are usually in the 5-9k range in my area and thus were out of my price range when I bought mine. I was drawn to the W220 S-Class because it fit the bill for me for a large, luxurious, V8-powered RWD sedan at a cheap upfront price. My example was nicely optioned, with the AMG Sport Appearance package (giving it the much better looking AMG front/rear bumpers and chrome 18" AMG Monoblock wheels), heated and cooled power adjustable seats, and Bose sound system, among other things. I did a fair amount of research before purchasing, mainly browsing the forums over on MBWorld and Benzworld, where there is a wealth of information on Mercedes-Benz cars as a whole. To keep costs down for me compared to what dealers charge and as a DIY'er when it comes to car maintenance I decided that I would be doing as much of the maintenance myself.

Purchasing/First Impressions: I scoured Craigslist for about a month before deciding on my particular example, a sliver exterior with black leather interior, and negotiated the seller, an older gentleman, down to $2700. It had some issues, but most importantly had no check engine, other warning lights, and no codes when scanned with an OBD2 scanner. Importantly, the previous owner had documented replacement of all four air shocks within the last year. W220s come with the Airmatic air suspension, which is notorious for failure. Quality rebuilt air shocks from the aftermarket would run around $300 apiece, and OEM ones even more, so it would be a pricey repair if it was needed. The car had just over 163k miles when I bought it, which was a little high, but the car was in good enough condition and priced well enough that I decided to take my chances with it. I documented all issues I found with the car and they are listed below, as well as whether I've addressed them. Most were/are simply minor cosmetic issues or small annoyances that do not affect the car's drivability or function.

Interior: -Driver's seat front plastic trim partly broken off -Driver's side sun visor light out -Passenger side door pull inside leather coming loose (Glued back into place.) -Driver's side door wood trim loose (glued back into place.) -Dash sometimes displays "MALFUNCTION-TURN SIGNAL". (The side-mirror turn signals work perfectly fine, so I chalk this up to a minor electrical problem and clear the message if it pops up.)

Exterior: -Minor dent in passenger side fender (Had the dent pulled) -Paint chipping and cracking on small portions of the bottom front and rear bumpers -Crack in front bumper -Small rust spot on driver side door (I live in SoCal so I'm not too worried about the rust spreading.) -Headlights yellowed (Will finally be polishing them in the next week or so.)

Ownership Experience Driving the S500 is a comfortable experience, which was perfect for me, as I wanted a luxurious daily driver for my commute to work and school. Inside the car it is very quiet due to the double-paned glass and heavy sound deadening. The M113 V8 is quite smooth and plenty quick. I love all the features the car has, with pretty much power everything in the interior. The front seats are comfortable and supportive, and can be adjusted many different ways, while the rear seats have ample legroom due to the long wheelbase. The car is pretty terrible on gas in the city, averaging 13-15 MPG, while on the highway I usually see 22-23 MPG. It requires premium gasoline, and the gas tank is rather large at nearly 23 gallons, so fill-ups are expensive. Due to my driving being mostly heavy stop-and-go in the city, I was refueling rather often (curse high California gas prices.)

Issues & Maintenance through the year In February I experienced my first issue with the S500. The car was hesitating on acceleration, with a delay between the pressing the gas pedal and then the car would lurch forward a second or two later, and subsequently died a few times upon attempting to accelerate from a stop. Restarting the car after this would usually solve the problem, but it persisted for several days. I used my OBD2 scanner and discovered a code (P0100) for the MAF sensor. Upon research on the forums I learned that MAF problems are somewhat common on M113 V8 engines. I tried cleaning the sensor with MAF cleaner, but that did not solve the problem, so I ordered and installed a new Bosch MAF sensor unit using a YouTube guide, which took about an hour. This solved the problem and it has not reoccurred since.

In May it was time for a Mercedes "Service B", according to a message on the dash. "Service B" is basically a glorified oil change with some other things, so I ordered the requisite oil filter, air filter, engine air filter, and Mobil 1 0W-40 oil and changed them all out. A cool feature of the W220 is that you can change the oil through the top without having to jack the car up, so I ordered a Topsider fuel pump off Amazon. All you have to do is pump it up, remove the oil cap and filter, stick the hose down until it reaches the bottom, and wait about 30 minutes while it drains all the oil out. This is actually how MB techs do oil changes for these cars, and it was the easiest oil change I've ever done. When I was in there I also noticed that the driver's side air intake was cracked nearly through, which had been causing a faint whistling sound during acceleration, so I ordered a new one and installed it too.

At the end of June the biggest problem I've had with the S500 arose. I noticed the car was having difficulty starting and was taking noticeably longer to start. Eventually after a few days of this the car died and would not start. The dash would light up when I inserted the key but when I turned to start it nothing would happen. Reading through the MB forums I was advised to first replace the battery, as apparently it's a common symptom for starting problems due to lack of power. I bought a new battery and installed it, but that did not solve the problem. I next attempted to replace some of the starter fuses in the forward fuse box, but this did not help either. I clued into the starter itself, and with the help of a mechanic friend removed the old starter and took it to a local place for it to be remanufactured. Upon reinstalling the starter the car still would not start, and in fact seemed to be worse, because now the dash was acting strange. Admitting defeat, I had the car towed to a highly rated local independent European car shop, where they had a special Mercedes STAR computer to properly diagnose my problem. It turned out that it was indeed a starter problem, and when the remanufactured starter was reinstalled by us, it was accidentally wired incorrectly, causing the main fuse under the passenger seat to blow when I attempted to start the car. I had to shell out for a new Bosch starter, Mega fuse, and the labor. A costly fix due in part to our mistake, but the car was running again.

In July it was time for all four tires to be replaced as they were extremely worn. I purchased four Sumitomo HTR Z III tires off an online website and picked them up at their warehouse which was local to me. I initially was wary of the Sumitomo tires due to their budget nature but these particular ones had very good reviews and grip well. I am very satisfied with how they ride and feel. Due to the AMG Sport package, the car is equipped with staggered wheel sizes, so it needs 245/45/18 tires in the front, and 275/40/17 tires in the rear.

In August the sunroof stopped functioning properly. It would retract all the way to the rear but go forward in spurts. A simple reset procedure by holding the button backwards and forwards for a few seconds solved the issue.

In November the glove box latch broke, and the box would not lock shut. I ordered a used one off eBay that matched my interior color, unscrewed the old box, and installed the new glove box. For whatever reason you cannot just replace the latch itself, so you have to replace the whole glove box unit.

Costs Breakdown: In total, here are the costs broken down. I only ever used OEM parts as cheap eBay parts are a quick way to cause problems and premature failure.

Registration: -SMOG check $60 -title transfer/tags $105 $165

Maintenance Parts: -Bosch MAF Sensor $167.81 -Mobil 1 0W-40 5qt x2 $45.76 -Mann oil filter kit $10.30 -MBZ Gas cap $43.44 -Mann Engine Air Filter $26.95 -MBZ Passenger Air Intake $24.64 -Duralast Platinum AGM Battery $194.84 -MBZ Starter relay "L" $15.77 -Rebuilt Bosch starter $95 -Shop's new Bosch Starter, Mega fuse relay $412.40 -2x 245/45/18 Sumitomo HTRZ III, 2x 275/40/18 HTRZ III $501.96 -MBZ turn signal light bulb $6.18 -MBZ USED Glove Box $35.11 $1580.16

Other: -Goo Gone spray bottle $4.19 -3M trim glue $7.18 -CRC MAF cleaner $9.66 $21.03

Tools: -OBD2 scanner $22.29 -Topsider fluid pump $58.84 -CTA Oil Filter tool $7.99 $89.12

Labor: -Independent shop labor charge for Starter/fuse repair $312.50 -Tires mounted/balanced $99.96 $412.46

TOTAL: $2267.77+ $750 GAS

Final Thoughts: All in all, after factoring in everything for cost of ownership including purchase price of the car, gas, parts, labor, tools, and registration, the total cost of ownership for my first year of W220 S-Class ownership was $5717.77. Though my car, like many other used luxury sedans, had its share of problems, it was certainly worth it to me. I would advise others looking at these cars or similar used luxury vehicles to budget carefully for potential faults and the increased cost of parts. If you do as much maintenance as you can by yourself and research all your car's potential issues before choosing one to buy, a W220 S-Class has nearly every comfort you could possibly want.

TL;DR: Bought and drove a used Mercedes S-Class for a year. Total cost of ownership was just over $5700 including gas and purchase price.