#and also the trend was months ago and i forgot to do it

[gomzdrawfr]

ok so I was doing fruit tier list after watching RTgames' video and decided to do cod ship tier list (something that was trending on the bird app before)

LINK HERE

Im tagging a few peeps to do it if you wanna!! if not its fine hehe

@justasmolbard @warenai @tapioca-milktea1978 @kaar-ne @tiggerriot @jgvfhl

reminder to all this is all for fun and people can have different opinions, don't be a prick :p

[bttrflyeffekt]

butterflyeffect does the oversharing candy salad trend <3 (obviously inspired by myah @venusvity) tw for mentioned grooming, child abandonment, child neglect, violence, stalking, and akito being akito.

“I'm going first," Akito announces as the camera shifts its focus from the butterfly shaped fairy lights to the group in front of it.

Xinyi scoffs. “No, you're not! It's my Tik Tok accou–" 

He ignores her protests, holding up a comically large clear plastic container before setting it on the table in front of him. “I'm Akito, and when I was fourteen I started a fight club in my school.” Shaking the bag in his hand, he grins, "I brought Hershey's chocolate drops."

Glaring at him as he steps to the side, Xinyi takes his place. “I'm Xinyi. I brought a generic bag of sour gummy worms.” She dumps the bag into the container, making sure to shake out the excess sugar from the bottom of the bag. “And when I was younger I was a child star, and this thirty year old man became obsessed with me and would follow my tour bus in his Chrysler Sebring.”

"Did they arrest him?” Patch asks, as Heejin steps into frame.

Xinyi pauses, then solemnly says, "No. But my bàba tased him in the throat, so he stopped coming around." 

Heejin smiles at the camera, proudly holding up her bag of Airhead gummies. “I'm Heejin, I brought these gummy Airheads because everyone hates them and I thought it would be funny." She empties the bag into the container with a laugh. “In 2018, I had a really fugly bob because a sasaeng snuck into our old apartment and cut a chunk of my hair when I was asleep, like directly in the middle of the back of my head.”

Sookyung snorts a laugh as she's pushed into frame. "I forgot about that,” she exclaims, obviously delighted at the memory, as she looks at the camera with a smile. "I'm Sookyung, and recently a deep fake nude of me went viral online and they made my boobs too small. Also Akito liked it.” Akito made a scandalized noise, but didn't deny it. "Oh! And I brought chocolate covered pretzels!”

She gently pulls an obviously nervous Hajoon into the frame, and pats him on the back.

He brushes his hair out of his eyes before holding up his candy. “I'm Hajoon, I brought Swedish fish, and I realized last month that my favorite teacher groomed me." He turns to Sookyung. “Is that too dark?" 

“No!" she exclaims, “You're doing great!" 

He smiles to himself, stepping to the side to let Sungho into frame.

“Hi, I'm Sungho. This was before I knew I was gay, so that makes it extra funny, but, once I was having a conversation with our old CEO, and I mentioned having a girlfriend back home – just to test the waters and see how he'd react – and he laughed in my face, then called me a slur.” He holds up a peace sign beside his eye. "I brought Hi-chews, the desert kind.”

"This is all gonna taste like shit,” Patch states, as he takes Sungho’s place. "I'm Patch, and I was added to this group as damage control because Akito is the worst person in the world, and in my first week, I got 537 death threats.” He pauses to read the front of his bag. "Heejin brought peach rings for me to dump because I didn't have enough time to buy my own candy.”

Akito makes an incredulous noise. “You counted?”

Xinyi shoves past him to stop him from going first again, smiling as he grunts at the impact of their bodies colliding. “Hey, Xinyi again. A few years ago – three now, I think – my parents disowned my brother for being gay, and I lost contact with him,” Patch and Hajoon made wounded noises on her behalf as she held up her candy, “I have Jolly Ranchers that Hajoonie unwrapped for me.”

“Can I go now, or are you gonna bodyslam me if I try?” Akito asks.

“Nope!” Heejin says with a giggle before jumping into frame. “I’m Heejin, and I had to go no contact with my mom last year because she bullied me into having an eating disorder. I have chocolate covered pomegranates.”

She yanks Patch into frame, just to stop Akito from coming in. “Jesus Christ, Jinnie,” Patch says with a laugh, “I’m still Patch, and on my third day under our company, before I was even going to take his job or anything, Akito threatened to stab me because he said that I looked at him funny.”

“It was a misunderstanding!” Akito exclaims as Patch pulls Sungho on screen.

“I’m Sungho. This time I have another bag of Jolly Ranchers that Joonie unwrapped, because none of us communicated the kind of candy we were going to bring with one another,” he grumbles, obviously grumpy. Hajoon laughs, which makes him smile. “Um, I grew up in a cult that my parents run.”

Sookyung cackled. “You can’t just drop that with no context!”

“I can do whatever I want,” Sungho argues, laughing as well. He tries to pull her in, to stop Akito, but he’s shoved to the side as Akito bulldozes past him.

“I’m Akito, and I hate all of my members,” he snaps, “Um, when I was twelve, my mom abandoned me and my dad because she said she hated our masculine energy.”

“Oh my God,” Heejin says, mouth open in shock, “Is that why you’re a raging misogynist?”

The girls all cackle in sync, as he goes red in the face. “Fuck off.”

“Ok, my turn,” Hajoon says, giggling at Akito’s rage. “I brought Sour Patch Strawberries,” He dumps the candy into the container, before pausing to think. “Okay, um, I’m the youngest of six, so my parents were basically out of fucks to give once I was born, and when I was, like, eight, they forgot me at the mall for an hour and a half.”

Sookyung laughs so loud that it makes him jump. “Oh my god. You poor baby,” she says, coming into frame to hug him. Arms wrapped around his shoulders, she says. “I’m Sookyung, and I only brought one bag of candy because I didn’t realize we were going more than once. Um, one time, during a performance, my clip on bangs flew off and hit Hajoonie in the eye, and we thought he was going to go blind.”

Xinyi is laughing so hard that she’s shaking as she steps into view holding a tiny pair of plastic tongs. “I stole these from the company cafeteria,” she explains as she begins mixing the candy. “Oh my God, we definitely cannot post this,” she exclaims, breathless.

[suwbuns]

E-DATERS! | #1 men hater

SYPNOSIS. moving back to korea from america, y/n is excited to reunite with her old friends and make new ones. what she doesnt expect is to find herself reuniting with her “ex-boyfriend” from 10 years ago who she dated over minecraft. what makes things worse? he happens to be her favorite streamer who she has been pinning after for years.

written chapter + screenshots below! (not proof read)

beomgyu had never felt this fearful in his life.

of course, he had his honorable mentions. such as when he accidentally sent a kid to the nurses office for pushing him off the swingset in the fourth grade, resulting in his mom taking away his computer for two weeks.

there had also been the time when he overslept and ended up missing his csat, fearing he wouldnt be able get into college. not that it mattered anyways considering he dropped out 3 months into his classes.

and most recently, when he had accidentally made fun of a streamer with almost 4 times the following he had, causing a terrible fan war over twitter with the hashtag #CANCELBEOMGYU trending for an entire week.

but yet none of them, could ever compare to the amount of fear that he had felt at this very moment.

because absolutely nothing could be worse than a plummeting ego and pure embarrassment to be the consequences of his actions, in which you managed to figure him out with not even a week that has passed.

as his body turned cold and his hands clammy at your follow up question, beomgyu mustered all the strength that he had in order to press the mute button on his keyboard, before letting out an ear piercing scream.

“how are we going to fix this?!” he cried out, burrowing his face in his hands.

“dont worry, this is fixable!” heeseung nervously laughed. “i can just make up some lame excuse and—“

“why did you mute?” your voice had interrupted, heeseung giving beomgyu an unsure glance before pressing the unmute button.

"sorry, my dog started to bark really loudly," heeseung replied, giving beomgyu the side eye. "miss me?"

beomgyu's mouth pressed into a thin line as he stared blankly at heeseung who held in his laughter at your stuttering protests.

"your solution is flirting with her?" beomgyu mouthed questionably, his lips molding into a grimace.

“just trust me” heeseung mouthed back, returning his attention back to you to attempt to get your mind off of the previous slip up.

however, beomgyu in fact did not trust him nor had any reason to considering it was him who had gotten in this situation. yet, he leaned against the backrest of his chair nervously knowing that there was nothing he could do. his mouth went dry as he sat thinking about every single possible scenario that could come out of this, hardly any of them with a good ending.

“i need to go to the restroom, ill be back!” you said, allowing beomgyu to sigh in relief. “but dont think that i forgot about how you knew about beomgyu.” following your sentence, the mute icon appeared next to your username, causing beomgyu to leap up in his chair to mute his mic as well.

“okay new plan, how about we gaslight her? we can say that she told me but she just forgot?” beomgyu brought up excitedly.

“do you remember what last happened when you gaslighted a girl? you almost got cancelled—“

“okay nevermind!” beomgyu grumbled, folding his arms over his chest. “or how about we just say its a lucky guess? i mean i do have a pretty large following, it wouldnt be that hard to guess that!”

“beomgyu you cant expect her to believe that. your ideas are almost as stupid as the one that we are currently in!” heeseung replied in annoyance, turning his suggestion down almost instantly.

“fine!” beomgyu threw his hands in the air, running his fingers through the strands of his hair in frustration. “why dont we just admit that i am beomgyu, we reveal this whole entire plan, and—“

“you can not be backing out now!”

“well what else can i do?!”

“i dont know, something! youre thought she was easy to get with because shes obsessed with you!”

beomgyu paused for a second, an idea lighting up in his head as he heard the latter of heeseungs sentence. his fingers were working faster than his brain, as it automatically reached for his phone to press on the twitter application to search for your private account.

“you didn't tell me she was that obsessed,” heeseung said, peeking over beomgyus shoulder to take a quick glance at his phone, catching sight of the manifestations of 'marrying beomgyu' on your bio and your header. “you sure this isnt a fan account?”

“no, its definitely her.” beomgyu said, shoving his phone back into his pocket. “new plan. we tell her we stalked her account!”

“can you imagine how humiliated she's going to feel?” heeseung replied, his mouth twisting into a frown. "i want to get out of this situation as much as you do, but the last thing i want to do is make her feel like crap for being a fan."

“oh please, it cant be that deep," beomgyu emphasized. "her being exposed would just leave her with embarrassment for at most, a week. but if I'm exposed? i cant let myself suffer like that!"

“man i really do hope that yeonjun kicks your—“

“im back!” you announced, causing heeseung and beomgyu to jump in their seats at the abrupt noise.

“oh hi!” heeseung beamed after unmuting himself, giving beomgyu one final glance before resuming. “also, i know this might be embarrassing, but I found out about beomgyu through your private twitter.”

“what was that?!” beomgyu whispered-yelled, his eyes wide in judgment. “you could have given her a chance to breathe instead of violating her right when she got back!”

"i was just following what you told me to say!" heeseung replied defensively.

"yeah, but not like that!"

as beomgyu and heeseung continued to argue amongst themselves, what they failed to catch was the sound of you leaving the call, snapping the both of them out of their heated conversation.

the two simultaneously glanced at both monitors, eyeing the leave message from the game, as well as the fact that you were no longer present in the call.

“did she just leave?”

previous | masterlist | next

TAGLIST. @openingssequence @suburbiataehyung @shinypieceofgarbage @koeuh @captivq @beowmgyu @qluvrv @ikaeryn @whippedforbeomgyu @i8lhee @heyanonymous123 @vanicogh @sulliefimmie @tae-ology @milkycloudtyg @ox1-lovesick @soobsfairy444 @sulliefimmie @jaxavance @peachenle @pokyloky @peachybeom @alpha-mommy69 @fatoompie @ashxxgyu @soobsdior @viagumi @rikismiel @luvsoobs @lovejunz @wccycc @enha-cafe @kaeslily @hiddenboopy @cashew00nut @merendis @reverbtunes @lcvesickgyuzz @dear-dreamie @fragmentationss @chuuinggummy @hafsa-hoofsa-heefs @beomsbeanie @shigamiryuk @soobliss @woncheecks @sserafimez @ahnneyong @ghostfacefricker6969 @flrtsbin @beomomb @cathaerin (closed)

A/N. kind of a mid chapter but anyways beomgyu is a red flag smh

AND SORRY IF THERES SM WRITTEN CHAPTERS IM TRYING TO INCORPORATE MORE SOCIAL MEDIA 😭

[mikodrawnnarratives]

Going through and organizing my files since I've decided to order them by year and month now instead of fandom, which I wish I was doing before

And I realized I forgot I was going to post these but l i f e got in the way and I forgot

So older, messy sketches + messy writing but it's pnf crossover hehehe

List of reasons why pnf crossover is genius in no particular order

1 Phineas and Ferb have a lot in common with Glamrock freddy when you think about it. Not even just the ones that I wrote down a month ago. Phineas and Freddy (and ferb but he's not shown) would most definitely get along

Also, Gregory and Phineas and Ferb are around the same age so (if gregory is 12 then Phineas and Ferb aren't that far behind if aged up a little)

2

3 If the glamrocks were based on the 80's and lived in the same universe as phineas and ferb... they would be fans of Lindana I don't make the rules.

Linda at the Pizza Plex would have a blast with the nostalgia

4

5 I wish I got out a better drawing to demonstrate but I just have a gut feeling that out of everybody in the cast, Isabella would be the one Gregory grows closest with.

At first maybe liked her the most since she's a firescout girl and he has a trend with sticking to who is useful to him. But idk I like the idea that maybe later they get to bond a bit more

What about Phineas and Ferb being his friends? We'll get to why they aren't immediately the best candidates later lolllll

And

The daycare attendant and the gang would be entertaining af together and you know it.

I got a WHOLE lot more reasons but these are the ones that have a drawing to go with them

Oh I also have this that I just remembered

Dorito chip head phineas

OH OH AND

For the sake of this crossover we are going to pretend this isn't true for a little bit

okay? okay good

And the fact that security breach most likely takes place in march

We are scooching it over to the summer and pretend it's like a year or two after pnf ending for crossover purposes

[back-and-totheleft]

"The same old bullshit"

Oliver Stone said Friday he was shocked to hear that the stars of Christopher Nolan’s Oppenheimer had walked out of its London premiere the day before as SAG-AFTRA officially declared strike action.

“I know several producers are opening movies, like Oppenheimer. Chuck Roven, he was in London. I heard it was going to be cancelled,” said Stone, when asked for his view on the strike.

“I don’t know if it went ahead but all the actors left. That was shocking that they really meant business and cut off right away all the promotion, which is big.”

Commenting on the ongoing 11-week WGA strike, Stone suggested the roots of the current industrial action lie in the deal brokered to end the five-month writers strike in 1988.

“There was a basic miscarriage of justice way back when, when Brian Walton was the head of the WGA, when we gave in. I wasn’t on the front line, but I supported that strike,” said Stone.

“We gave in to the producers. They got away with murder on one of these deals where all that DVD money was deferred. They claimed they were in the hole, in the red, and that they had to get their money back from DVD.

“I forgot what the percentage was, but they took something like the first 75% off the top. The DVD business was huge, especially for my films. So, the gross was never divided fairly.”

Stone said this trend had continued with residuals and profits.

“Not so much residuals, as profits really. Residuals are important for some of the writers who don’t make as much money. But people who do make money, they don’t touch the profits from the film, the studio does,” he said.

“The studio is always telling you that they’re losing money, but they always find a way to make a new level of profit for 10, 15 years. … It’s that perpetual industrial problem with a capitalist group that pays its executives more and more money and screws the average writer.”

Looking back over past industrial action, Stone recalled how the 2007 writers strike initially led to the postponement of his 1968 My Lai massacre drama Pinkville, and then resulted in it being cancelled for good.

“We had three weeks to go and it got cancelled. We got hurt,” he said.

Stone said he doubted there would be a quick or easy resolution to the current writer and actor disputes.

“I don’t think it will be wrapped up quickly. Because well, I don’t understand the economics of Netflix and these new guys, but it’s the same old bullshit. You know they’re making money and they always say they’re losing money. It’s the classic conflict that goes back to the 1880s in America.”

Stone was talking to Deadline at the Jerusalem Film Festival, where he showed his 2022 documentary Nuclear Now, arguing the case for nuclear power as the only viable way to tackle climate change.

Based on the book A Bright Future: How Some Countries Have Solved Climate Change and the Rest Can Follow, the work premiered at Venice last year.

The work is a passion project for Stone, who says he was inspired to make the film by his fear of climate change.

“I’m not a science expert and I have no kinship with nuclear power. On the contrary, you could say I was a mild believer in the Jane Fonda-Ralph Nader concept of the 1980s that nuclear power was dangerous,” said the director, who also took co-writing credits with U.S. scientist Joshua Goldstein.

“But it’s clear to me from my travels all over the world, that it’s getting hotter, and hotter, and hotter. We were in Italy, two, three days ago, and they said it was hottest day on record or something.”

Stone was also honored with a lifetime achievement award from the Jerusalem Film Festival at the opening ceremony Thursday evening alongside Helen Mirren and Belgian directorial duo Luc and Jean-Pierre Dardenne.

The director last spent extensive time in the country in 2002 at the height of Second Intifada to make his documentary Persona Non Grata, in which he interviewed Israeli leaders Benjamin Netanyahu, Shimon Peres, Ehud Barak, Ariel Sharon as well as the Palestinian Al Aqsa Brigade on the Middle East conflict.

Two decades on, he suggested the situation is unchanged.

“It’s a repetitive cycle. I’ve been here several times. I planted an olive tree for peace here in the ’90s with my then-partner Arnon Milchan and came back in 2002 for Persona Non Grata. … I don’t see a difference. It’s just worse. Like it’s getting hotter. It’s just getting more and more choked.”

-Melanie Goodfellow, "Oliver Stone Shocked By ‘Oppenheimer’ SAG-AFTRA Strike Cast Walkout; Says Roots Of Writers Strike Lie In 1988 Deal," Deadline, Jul 14 2023

[choices-binglebonkus]

Top Ten Books/Series I forgot existed

So this has been sitting in my drafts for like a month or two and I just got an ask that made me want to actually post it. I think I made this simply because I was bored, couldn’t sleep, and enjoy making lists, so I decided to make a top ten list featuring books/series that I totally forgot about because…they’re just forgettable, no two ways about it. Because let’s be real here: there are great Choices books, there are terrible Choices books, and there are Choices books that are like…hey…hi…I’m just kinda here.

10. Shipwrecked. PLEASE do not quote me on this, but I *think* it released sometime this past year. Honestly most of the reason this book suffered was due to the lack of interesting characters, or characters in general because off the top of my head all I can remember are the MC, the LI, Dr. Hale, and the LI’s old business partner but I can’t even remember their name at this point. Hell, I can’t even remember much of the plot, and even after playing a chapter I remember forgetting almost everything about it pretty much immediately.

9. Wishful Thinking. I actually quite liked this book. It was lighthearted and pretty fun during a time where we needed some lightheartedness to balance out the more intense/angsty book releases. But unfortunately, the plot itself was kinda meh, and since it was a standalone, there was no real reason to remember it. Even worse, this book began the unfortunate trend of reusing background characters as MC’s “close friends”.

8. Foreign Affairs. Remember when FA was announced and, the dumbasses that we were, we were all convinced it would save the fandom from the book drought? Yeah…it feels like such a distant memory now. The book seemed really, really promising. And it could have been. But holy hell, it was executed so poorly and the premise of the plot was so flimsy. What I once thought would be a great book is now one of the ones I just squint at when I remember it even exists.

7. A Very Scandalous Proposal. I’ve talked about this one a little bit before. The main appeal of AVSP was Simon/Ava. If you didn’t like them? Tough shit, buddy. The main goal of the book was to uncover the secrets of the Montjoy family. Unfortunately, PB didn’t give us a reason to care about or find interest in said Montjoy family, which is probably why the book faded from my memory so quick.

6. Passport to Romance. This is kind of a weird one for me. I forget it exists most of the time, but then when I do remember it, I remember how truly terrible it was, while most of the other books on this list aren’t very fresh in my memory. It was so unimpressive, bland, and the characters were tolerable at best and obnoxious at worst (ELLIOT LANGDON).

5. Rising Tides. The book was okay…but it pushed a generic “save the earth” message while forcing us to pay to clean the town. The MC was a sidekick in her own story which would’ve been fine, but Charlie was such an annoying character that it wasn’t even enjoyable. Also, the Big Bads conceded waaaaay too easily at the end. I’m not even exaggerating when I say that I forgot about this book in less than a week after the final chapter aired.

4. Witness: A Bodyguard Romance. Believe it or not, despite how awful this book was, I forgot about it pretty quickly. It could’ve been a really cool story, but it focused too heavily on romance when the MC and Cassian’s lives were on the line quite literally at every second. Other than that…I truthfully do not remember much about this book other than the Irish mob.

3. Ms. Match. This book was decent enough and it didn’t stop releasing until that long ago. However, the plot was one of those “fight to reach the top and win the competition” plots which quite frankly have been overdone in Choices for a few years now. Not to mention, there weren’t a lot of interesting characters except for Maggie and maaaaaybe the MC’s dad but that’s pushing it a little. The reason it’s so high on this list is because it didn’t end that long ago, yet I can’t seem to remember a damn thing about the book, other than that I HATED the love interest.

2. Home for the Holidays. Many moons ago, this was considered one of the worst, if not, THE worst, book in Choices. And many moons ago, I agreed. But the horrific mediocrity of this holiday flurry of fuck was outshined by some truly awful stories and simply faded into obscurity.

1. Sunkissed. As I made this list, I scrolled through the series on the app, and while most books on this list elicited an “oh yeah, I kinda remember this” from me, when I saw this one, I was like “holy shit, I completely forgot this book was even a thing”. While Home For the Holidays and Sunkissed are both sort of (for lack of a better word) Hallmark-y, Sunkissed was longer and, in my opinion, a little sloppier. The book just wasn’t sure what it wanted to be. A lighthearted summer beach romance? A tale of a family’s struggles with grief and interpersonal conflict in the wake of a father and husband’s untimely death? Fuck it, we’ll uncomfortably cram BOTH into the main plot, execution be damned!

[smkkbert]

Time for a story - The recruits

“I almost forgot what it’s like to be surrounded by quiet.”

Chuckling, Oliver tightened his arms around Felicity’s chest and brushed a kiss against the shell of her ear. With a long sigh, he snuggled his cheek against the top of her head and closed his eyes. Felicity couldn’t see it as her back was resting against his chest with her head leaning on his shoulder, but she could feel it.

She could feel it. The thought made a content smile spread on Felicity’s lips. It made not sense that she could feel what Oliver was doing, but it was the truth. She could just feel how relaxed he was and how he was just as much in this moment as she was. He was enjoying that they shared this quiet moment together. For that, he had his eyes closed.

Felicity turned her head carefully, so she could sneak a peek. Of course she found Oliver’s eyes closed and that discovery made her snuggled back against Oliver’s chest with a smile of victory. Sometimes her love for Oliver was just more than the sense could explain.

“Why exactly don’t we have moments like these more often?”

Oliver’s voice sounded sleepily, and Felicity wouldn’t be surprised if he indeed dozed off in the next couple of minutes. After Bruce’s attack last week, she and Oliver had reinforced their efforts to stop that new trend of juveniles injecting strangers on the street with Vertigo. Late hours in the bunker and on the street as well as in the office, at least for Oliver, had followed. On top of that Emmy’s tenth birthday had needed to be celebrated three days ago, keeping them even more busy.

They had decided on their busy lifestyle years ago. They hadn’t just slipped into it, not really. Each of them had made the decision to pursue a time-consuming career of their own. Together they had decided to continue their work as vigilantes although they could have decided to retire from the mission. There were enough people willing and able to save the city even without them recruiting any of the people Felicity considered to be good fits if the situation ever forced them to raise the size of their team. They had also decided to start a family despite those engagements. Although the fourth pregnancy had come as a surprise, it hadn’t stopped them from taking in Baby Mia a couple of months ago.

While that busy lifestyle had been chosen on purpose, it was nice and needed to have some of these quiet moments once in a while. Even a marriage as strong as theirs needed time here and there to just be felt stronger than their busy lifestyle allowed it sometimes.

“Have you fallen asleep?”

Oliver’s question made Felicity chuckle. Hadn’t she thought he’d be the one falling asleep just a couple of minutes ago?

“No.” Felicity smiled. “I could, but I haven’t.”

“What are you thinking about then?”

“The many reasons why we don’t have moments like this more often.”

“Many reasons, hm?” Oliver his head down and peppered a couple of kisses on her neck and shoulder. “Name one.”

“I’ll name six,” Felicity replied without hesitation, “Emmy, Tommy, Millie, Addie, Mia, Hawk.”

“Hawk?”

Felicity turned her head back to look at Oliver. The expression in her eyes alone seemed to be enough to remind him of all the nonsense they had needed to put up with because of Hawk. He was an absolute darling, but he did have some silly ideas.

“If Hawk was here,” Felicity said and looked at Oliver meaningfully, “he’d be lying in the bathtub with us.”

If the grin spreading on Oliver’s face was any indication, he already had a vivid image in mind what that would look like. Although the thought seemed to amuse him now, Felicity knew that they couldn’t have this quiet moment now if Hawk was here with them. They couldn’t enjoy this quiet moment, and they couldn’t have enjoyed the sexy times before either. Hawk would have certainly found it to be an exciting game that he wanted to be part of.

Oliver certainly came to the same conclusion. When their eyes met, he chuckled. Felicity slapped his shoulder playfully.

“Not funny.”

“It is a little funny,” he countered and pulled her back into his arms, “but let’s just go back to enjoy the fact that he is not here after all.”

Felicity couldn’t agree more. She turned in Oliver’s arms, so they were face to face. She brushed a kiss against his lips and, when Oliver sank a little lower into the tub, she rested her body on top of his once more. Oliver arms wrapped around her, holding her to him. Felicity snuggled her cheek against his shoulder and closed her eyes.

Of course having Oliver here was the best of it, but Felicity had to admit that the bath itself was quite nice too. She couldn’t remember when she had taken a bath the last time. Even a prolonged shower had been a rare occasion in her life lately. It only made her all the more grateful for a moment like this.

She was on the verge of falling asleep after all when the familiar sound of her phone announcing an incoming text made her sigh.

“Ignore it,” Oliver suggested and tightened his arms around her, “and just pretend that there’s nobody else but us.”

As much as Felicity liked the idea, she couldn’t.

“I could be one of our babysitters, you know.” She kissed his chest and reached for her phone that was resting on the small table beside the bathtub. “If something is wrong with one of the kids, we would want to know, wouldn’t we?”

Oliver gave her a look that made Felicity smile. Of course she knew that the answer was yes. They would want to know. At the same time, they both knew that it was highly unlikely that something had happened. It wasn’t like they had hired some teenagers to watch their gang of little rascals after all.

No, with the life they had hiring a normal babysitter was not an option either. Instead they had to make sure that their kids were in good hands, preferably someone that could protect them in case some criminal had found out about their two identities and was targeting their kids.

The idea made a shiver run down the length of Felicity’s spine. This had happened before after all.

The kids were safe though, she told herself, because they were in really good hands – in the hands of their godfathers. Well, most of them were with their godfathers at least.

Emmy was spending the day with John and Sara. They wanted to head to a climbing park. The girls were at an age where they wanted more action and less of the quieter daytrips, especially since they had to go to those often because of their little siblings. Sara had been to a climbing park a couple of times before. Once she had told Emmy about it, she had wanted to go to of course. She always wanted to do what her best friend was doing.

Tommy had been picked up by Barry this morning. He had taken him away with superspeed, not telling anyone where he’d go. Felicity knew that for Tommy the travel by superspeed would be the highlight of the day anyway. Barry could take Tommy to see a meteorite shower, and the highlight would still be traveling on Barry’s back like that.

Millie was spending the day with Roy, Thea, Robbie and Louis. They would probably spend the day a lot quieter, going to the zoo or something. Millie wouldn’t mind. She loved animals. She loved her little nephews. She loved her godfather and her aunt. She was easy to make happy.

Since William was busy learning and couldn’t take Addie for the day, she had been supposed to stay with Tommy and Laurel, who were babysitting Mia, but she had chosen to spend the day with Bruce instead. After his experience with Vertigo last week, he had still been in Starling City to recover. He had wanted to leave yesterday, but Addie’s pleading had convinced him to stay for a day more.

Nick had rejected the offer to become a godparent, but he had offered to take Hawk for the day. He had told them that a dog was something he trusted himself with, a child not so much.

“So,” Oliver asked when Felicity unlocked the display of her phone, “does anyone need help with the kids?”

Felicity read the text she had been sent in the Arrow Family Group Chat and smiled.

“No help.” Felicity turned her phone, so Oliver could read the text too. “Just an update.”

RH: Millie & I are certainly making the best of this day. I don’t think anyone else is having that much fun.

“I doubt I have ever seen her like that,” Oliver said, smiling at the picture, “have you?”

Felicity shrugged her shoulders. “I’m not sure.”

Millie was certainly the quietest of their children. She wasn’t as headstrong and even demanding at times as Emmy and Addie were. She wasn’t as insecure and careful as Tommy was either. Felicity had often wondered if they overlooked Millie a little because she was just content with most things. She would just go with the flow and not complain.

When her phone buzzed again and again really quickly, Oliver groaned. “Now everyone’s giving us their updates, and that will certainly end in a fight over who is doing their job best.”

Felicity chuckled. Something like that had happened a few years ago already. Thea and Laurel had been fighting over who was doing their job best. For a second, Felicity remembered, Thea had even believed that she and Emmy were having the best day, while Laurel had wanted to prove that she and Millie were having a lot more fun.

There was a lot of love in the Arrow Family, but they could become quite competitive sometimes.

BA: Can’t send a photo without getting into trouble, but I swear there is more fun here.

Felicity had just read the end of the text when Oliver snapped the phone from her fingers and started typing a response in her name.

FQ: What do you mean `trouble`? What trouble? What are you doing with my son???

BA: Trouble with you, Oliver. Obviously.

Felicity suppressed a chuckle. She wasn’t the slightest bit surprised that Barry had initially known who was texting him. Oliver didn’t seem to mind. He just continued texting with her phone.

FQ: I repeat – What trouble?

BA: None actually worth mentioning. You’ll get your son back in one piece.

“Why does that answer only unsettle me even more?”

Felicity chuckled. “He probably just put him into one of his Flash suits.”

Oliver frowned and grumbled some incomprehensible words. Felicity couldn’t bite back a smile. As much as Oliver hated the idea that their children would one day to decide to take up their parents’ mantle, what Oliver wanted even less was for them to pick up someone else’s mantle.

The truth was that the thought the kids could go through the same trauma he had experienced scared them. If they ever took a path like that, he wanted them to stay as close as possible, so he could be there to protect them from the dangers and help them through the troubles coming with a lifestyle like that. He wanted to stop them from making the same mistakes he made.

What Oliver probably didn’t understand was that even if their kids ever decided to take on a path like this, he had already made sure that his kids weren’t finding the same troubles that he did when he first started this mission. He had grown so much, and he proved to his children every day that you could only succeed on a path like this when you worked in a team and made sure to create a home where you felt safe and loved.

Again, Felicity’s phone buzzed.

DC: Since we are already at the confessions – I think I broke your dog.

“Oh my god!” Now Felicity laughed out loud. “What did he do to him?”

Oliver couldn’t hide a smile either. “I don’t know, but I think your brother did indeed break Hawk. Poor thing.”

The next text got in.

RH: You really took the easy option. Try playing a kid tired this easily – you’d be lost, man!

DC: I’m sure I’d manage, but I prefer Hawk.

RH: That is because you are scared of kids.

DC: Am not.

BA: Yes, you are.

RH: Says the man who’s scare of Oliver.

Her phone was buzzing and plinging each and every second now. Each sound echoed through the bathroom.

Felicity sighed. “The quiet is indeed gone, is it not?”

“If the others get into the conversation too now, we won’t have another quiet moment for the rest of the day.”

As if on cue, Felicity’s phone buzzed once more.

TM: Someone did fall asleep here. I guess I played my goddaughter tired. Best godfather is certainly me.

Felicity smiled at the picture. “Mia looks so content.”

“She does.” Oliver moved his thumb over her cheek like he could actually feel her soft skin against the calloused tip of his finger. “It’s a good thing she starts warming up to being in someone else’s care.”

Mia had had some trouble not being around Oliver and Felicity in the past months. Even with Raisa, who was around her every day, Mia would cry a lot more than when she was in Oliver’s or Felicity’s arms. It was best when they took care of her, okay if they were around while someone else was taking care of her, but hell if they weren’t around at all. It was one of the reasons why Tommy and Laurel were watching her. They were living right next door, so if anything happened, Felicity and Oliver would be right there.

BW: OUR goddaughter would have been just as tired if I had been the one watching her.

TM: You can’t really believe that! You’re as scared of babies as Nick is.

DC: I am NOT scared of babies.

RH: Yes, you are. Both of you are.

“They really are,” Oliver agreed with Barry and Roy, “don’t you think.”

Felicity shrugged her shoulders. “Maybe, but so were you.”

Oliver grinned at how awkward he had felt when Baby Sara had been around. She had been the first baby in the Arrow Family, and she had been the first baby that he had had contact with since Thea. He had indeed been a little scared of her because she had just been so tiny, and he hadn’t been able to read her like he had been reading adults.

“Feels like a lifetime ago.

BW: ANYWAY… Addie and I are enjoying some snacks before he we will continue our little trip. She’s a good wingwoman.

“Did he put her in new clothes and got her hair made?”

Felicity remembered that Addie had been wearing a thick pullover and a jacket. She had also worn a beanie against the cold. The photo didn’t look like she was still in Starling City though. If she didn’t mind sitting outside in a jeans jacket, she certainly wasn’t in the city anymore.

“Interesting that that is your first thought,” Oliver said slowly, “and not the fact that she is obviously not in the city anymore or the masses of sweet and fat junk food in front of her.”

“Well, I did notice that she was taken out of town,” Felicity defended herself although she knew that she didn’t have to, “but it’s Bruce. He certainly got her into his private plane or into the helicopter and flew her wherever she wanted to go.”

That was indeed what Bruce would do, Felicity thought to herself with a smile.

RH: Still think that I’m deserving the prize for best godfather because I am taking care of three kids at the same time.

BA: Own kids don’t count. Besides, you got Thea to help.

BW: Reminds me that Tommy got Laurel. Barry and I win.

BA: Shared win sounds great to me.

DC: My “godchild” has twice as much feet and still hasn’t run away. Sounds like I am the winner.

“I know this sounds crazy,” Felicity said slowly, “but I kind of enjoy the fact that everyone is fighting about something like this.”

Oliver nodded his head before he turned his head and brushed a kiss against Felicity’s temple.

“I know,” he agreed with a sigh, “it’s nice to know that everything all of us have been through hasn’t robbed us of enjoying moments like these.

There had been a time, Felicity remembered, when she had believed that leading the lives they did would take away their ability to enjoy moments like these. Everything had been so dark and so hopeless for a while that even Felicity had felt her happiness and her optimism fade. It was why she had taken a step back and distanced herself a little from what had been happening in the foundry. After Sara Lance’s death, she had just realized that she had needed something outside Team Arrow to not drown in the darkness.

When her phone buzzed the next time, Oliver read the text before she did and chuckled.

“Look who decided to enter this conversation after all.”

JD: I don’t even need proof. I think we can just agree that I am the best godfather possible. If any of you want to become somewhat acceptable, I’ll train you.

Felicity laughed, remembering that Lyla had some similar reaction when Laurel and Thea tried to argue with each other about who the best godmother was. The Diggles just didn’t show up to play.

“I think we have all the proof we need to know that everyone’s doing well.” Oliver switched off the phone and threw it across the room, making sure it landed on their pile of clothes there. “Which means that we can go back to enjoying our time alone.”

Felicity didn’t even have to ask what exactly he had in mind. She could see the longing and desire in his eyes, and she could feel himself growing hard against her thigh. Since Felicity knew that he was right, she didn’t need further encouragement or any words of persuasion.

“You’re right,” she whispered and framed his face with her hands, “absolutely right.”

Their lips met in a hungry kiss, hands exploring each other’s bodies. They would make really good use of the time they had today. Everything else would be a waste.

* * *

@fannaz @promiseyoullbepatientwithme @bytemegeekette @felicity-said-just-in-case @phanseptiic @orangeisorange @mspotatohead14 @whentheheavenfades @emmaamelia95 @smoakingskye @seaolicity @ourwritinginvein @1022bridgetp @felicityqueenforever @leagueofolicity17 @yryssss @myhauntedblacksoul @sherlock44 @sinceriouslybea @olivyflavescentdeer @olicitys-castle @ofnothingcharming @vaelisamaza @smoakedandcharmed @alexisa1206 @florence-bubbles @addictiontelly @queens-of-arrows-blog @memcjo @hysterical-for-joshifer-blog @oswinelevenforever @olicitylovemaking @bandanab310 @mymusiclove101 @lynslogic @scarletqueen23 @olicityshipper19-blog @alex-wesley @unabashedlynerdypatrol @louehmysoul-blog @ligiapimenta @chattyyana @charlie-leau @coal000 @samcrowleys @ishippolivia @julianegomesqueen @malafle @miriam1779 @charlinert @melaux @ontheolicityship @myshipperlife @wrightainsley @lexi9515 @ladygreenwood @multi-fandom-crazy-fangirl @morinamel @mje-thomas @kebarry @canadianheartgirl @nannett2307 @almondblossomme @kathrynelizabeth89 @imdfabulous @mrt2501 @arsipaci14 @salasvia @brandis91 @cainc3 @morganmiguess @pr0fessi0nal-fangurl @iamisalima @nessafrancis-blog @jonhdiggle @niki-is-amazing @universed-posts @hopeful-warrior @senoritaswiftie @bellemmie @green-arrows-of-karamel @iheartarrow @olicityovereverything @oliverfel4 @olicity-in-the-heart @fullychippedcreation @geemarie @everything-but-normal-cat @myarroworld @tjmartinez @pleasantfanandstudent @j69confessional2 @scentedcolorpirate @icanica74 @tjmartinez98 @certainmentalityface @tatianadamaceno @ryelew @wildwillowzepplin @missafairy @letsplaymurde-r @lipizette @positivepiper @nuttymilkshakehologram @laksagirl-blog @turnupthemusicandscream @pumpernickle93 @onceuponanolicity @1106angel @jaspertown @fadinglands @morganashimi83 @mochababychristy @omglovechrissie @mariejr88-blog @thetaufactor @onceuponanolicity @speakandseethetruth @bri206 @aglasgo @geemarie @pineprincess @nerdgirljen @eternal-olicity14 @allyouhadtodowas-stay-stay-stay @lovelycssefan @tsseract @flowerandsunshine @dcnmarvelgamergeek @blondeeoneexox @monetsmark @bb-olicity @mashamarty @rulerofsilence @erika-amber @nothingmorethanmyotps @kayleenyc @tonto16 @olicityfluv @olicitea1990 @haahaaa2408 @pattid1 @faegal04 @24karatgem @wrldtravler @readerkas @olicity-beliver @greencoffeecups @snorlaxishere @sonothappening118 @rhizoneill​ @emeraldbutterfly16​

(If you want to be tagged or untagged, just let me know. :))

[heartofstanding]

Five Things You Might Find in My Fics

@shredsandpatches tagged me in this a month ago and while I do also love navel-gazing about my fic and talking about it, I've been busy with other things and then forgot. But I've done it now!

Angst, angst and more angst. I've been told on good authority that "extremely upsetting" is my hallmark and sure enough, the #1 additional tag on my AO3 profile is "angst" and the #2 tag is "heavy angst" so it checks out. Even the fics that aren't meant to be upsetting have a bit of angst in them. I'm not very good at keeping the angst out but then I don't think I ever really try, it's just not very interesting to me. I think for me, I'm interested in character histories and how they carry that around. It's probably telling that I got obsessed with the Epictetus quote, "you are a little soul carrying around a corpse" some years back.

Sympathy and nuance. Hopefully this doesn't sound too up myself... I don't like the sort-of goodies and baddies, devils and angels that so much historical fiction and a great hunk of fandoms in general do. I like the idea that everyone has their own complex personality, that while the story might be from one character's POV, if we moved into a different character's POV, everything would be different particularly if that character is in some way in opposition to the first character. I usually end up loving everyone and just get a bit "now you might think Henry IV is a bit of a cock and he is a bit of a cock but he is my cock!" levels of defensive.

Family issues. Probably part of my interest in character histories, I'm just very interested in the issues within family. Give me a character with daddy issues, with mummy issues, with brother issues, with sister issues and I'm there for it. Honestly, I could barely understand anything in the Henriad the very first time I watched it but I understood Prince Hal's daddy issues. The family issues I write don't really reflect my own family issues but I do find them interesting to explore.

Characters grounded in context, the ordinary. I'm not quite sure how I'd describe this. I tend to be happiest playing within the bonds of the universe, at least as far as it can be recovered, than to reject it to write a sort of power fantasy? I'm not particularly interested in like, the idea of writing female characters as some "yas kween slay" type of character. I'd rather ground their character in (my attempt to recreate) their "real" context than an idealised, perfect-for-modern-consumption world.

My own thing. I guess this is sort of a cop-out answer and also related to the above but in general, I'm not really interested in following sort of trends? It's not to say that I don't, can't or won't like popular things in fandom but I'm more interested in like, hitting my Id's happy spot than like writing something that I know the fandom will like. I've tended to be interested in more obscure figures or gotten into things past their heyday, even if they are now judged "basic" by fandom (hello, yes, I turned up late with Starbucks for Loki in 2017). And stuff that's really popular in fandom can hit me as, like, overexposed and make me. a bit. y'know. tired and less interested in it? I guess it's a sort of thing of "well, everyone else is writing that so I don't have to and it's a bit boring when everything is like that". Like, the fanon about dwarven culture that came out of The Hobbit films - potentially, very interesting! But everyone was doing their own version of the same thing ("the stuff in Tolkien's books is an Elf lie and dwarven culture looks like 2010s fandom's idea of a progressive society"), so I found it more interesting to do something more in keeping

Not tagging anyone since it's taken so long for me to do this but if anyone wants to, please consider yourself tagged by me!

[denimbex1986]

'Oliver Stone said Friday he was shocked to hear that the stars of Christopher Nolan’s Oppenheimer had walked out of its London premiere the day before as SAG-AFTRA officially declared strike action.

“I know several producers are opening movies, like Oppenheimer. Chuck Roven, he was in London. I heard it was going to be cancelled,” said Stone, when asked for his view on the strike.

“I don’t know if it went ahead but all the actors left. That was shocking that they really meant business and cut off right away all the promotion, which is big.”

Commenting on the ongoing 11-week WGA strike, Stone suggested the roots of the current industrial action lie in the deal brokered to end the five-month writers strike in 1988.

“There was a basic miscarriage of justice way back when, when Brian Walton was the head of the WGA, when we gave in. I wasn’t on the front line, but I supported that strike,” said Stone.

“We gave in to the producers. They got away with murder on one of these deals where all that DVD money was deferred. They claimed they were in the hole, in the red, and that they had to get their money back from DVD.

“I forgot what the percentage was, but they took something like the first 75% off the top. The DVD business was huge, especially for my films. So, the gross was never divided fairly.”

Stone said this trend had continued with residuals and profits.

“Not so much residuals, as profits really. Residuals are important for some of the writers who don’t make as much money. But people who do make money, they don’t touch the profits from the film, the studio does,” he said.

“The studio is always telling you that they’re losing money, but they always find a way to make a new level of profit for 10, 15 years. … It’s that perpetual industrial problem with a capitalist group that pays its executives more and more money and screws the average writer.”

Looking back over past industrial action, Stone recalled how the 2007 writers strike initially led to the postponement of his 1968 My Lai massacre drama Pinkville, and then resulted in it being cancelled for good.

“We had three weeks to go and it got cancelled. We got hurt,” he said.

Stone said he doubted there would be a quick or easy resolution to the current writer and actor disputes.

“I don’t think it will be wrapped up quickly. Because well, I don’t understand the economics of Netflix and these new guys, but it’s the same old bullsh*t. You know they’re making money and they always say they’re losing money. It’s the classic conflict that goes back to the 1880s in America.”

Stone was talking to Deadline at the Jerusalem Film Festival, where he showed his 2022 documentary Nuclear Now, arguing the case for nuclear power as the only viable way to tackle climate change.

Based on the book A Bright Future: How Some Countries Have Solved Climate Change and the Rest Can Follow, the work premiered at Venice last year.

The work is a passion project for Stone, who says he was inspired to make the film by his fear of climate change.

“I’m not a science expert and I have no kinship with nuclear power. On the contrary, you could say I was a mild believer in the Jane Fonda-Ralph Nader concept of the 1980s that nuclear power was dangerous,” said the director, who also took co-writing credits with U.S. scientist Joshua Goldstein.

“But it’s clear to me from my travels all over the world, that it’s getting hotter, and hotter, and hotter. We were in Italy, two, three days ago, and they said it was hottest day on record or something.”

Stone was also honored with a lifetime achievement award from the Jerusalem Film Festival at the opening ceremony Thursday evening alongside Helen Mirren and Belgian directorial duo Luc and Jean-Pierre Dardenne.

The director last spent extensive time in the country in 2002 at the height of Second Intifada to make his documentary Persona Non Grata, in which he interviewed Israeli leaders Benjamin Netanyahu, Shimon Peres, Ehud Barak, Ariel Sharon as well as the Palestinian Al Aqsa Brigade on the Middle East conflict.

Two decades on, he suggested the situation is unchanged.

“It’s a repetitive cycle. I’ve been here several times. I planted an olive tree for peace here in the ’90s with my then-partner Arnon Milchan and came back in 2002 for Persona Non Grata. … I don’t see a difference. It’s just worse. Like it’s getting hotter. It’s just getting more and more choked.”'

[ray-the-fanatic]

seeing leosagi trend on twitter makes me so happy though at the same time i kinda avoid it cuz a majority of it is yu/ichi usagi that's with leo and i don't wanna ruin the fun of the people who enjoy the samurai rabbit show, i tried getting into the show a month ago but it just... did not catch my eye the same way rise did

maybe it's cuz the show's not technically about the og usagi or the fact that i struggle to care about cast and story itself cuz it feels... boring to me? idk, it's just hard for me to get into shipping rise leo with yu/ichi when i'm not really interested in the character or show (yu/ichi i mean), esp when i'm more attached to everyone's version of rise usagi

sorry if this seems a bit ranty ^^;;;

Okay  1. I was answering another ask when I saw this and deiced nope I need to answer this! 2.no so yes let us talk about this because i see you I feel you and get what you mean as well.3. Sorry this is gonna be a lil long.

Okay so I recalled when they originally announced doing the samurai rabbit show and I was excited cause Usagi content. Forgot about it till finally getting back into tmnt after being convinced to finally watch rise cause o didn't when it originally aired. Which sent me down a rabbit hole obsession on usagi in time for the Samurai Rabbit show coming out. And to make this easier when I say Usagi I’ll be talking about Usagi Miyamoto and Yu/ichi for Usagi Yu/ichi yes I know they have the same first name that's the point it’s just for clarification here.

Now I do not mind the show it’s fine for what it is and I think Yu/ichi is cute and interesting but I have a love hate thing for the show. I spoke to a mutual on tiktok about this and I know I made a post on my thoughts about the show. I like the concept of Usagi descendant  Yu/ichi trying to become a samurai in a future time period when Samurai aren’t around, because he idolizes Usagi. Only to find out Usagi is a bad guy so he tries to clear their name. Despite that set up its not really what we get and Yui/chi didn’t really clear their name im still annoyed about that. I do still enjoy Yu/ichi mostly the design I even drew some inspiration from it for my own rise usagi because I liked the bangs. And I do find he and rise leo could be fun buuuuuuuut He is not the Usagi I want.

See as I have gotten more into Usagi’s own series I have just really come to love the character even more and love the idea of him in rise compared to a cross over with samurai rabbit. I just love the idea of the conflict in personality I just want him to be a grounded samurai who is emotionally in touch. Like especially with Leo going into his role as a leader I just love the idea of that being when he meets Usagi because of how special that friendship is in the 03 series. Besides I enjoy the Lore of Usagi Yojimbo and would love tidbits of it in rise uwu

Well I will still share and enjoy ship art of both cause i’m greedy and like Leosagi I do agree with people that the two should have different ships names. I saw seabunny mention for rise leo and yu/ichi and thats cute. But yeah well the sudden boom on twitter been nice to see and I have a friend who prefers that version simply cause yu/ichi is cannon over a rise usagi is. Thats fine though I also feel there another reason for the push on yui/chi i’m just being skeptical though so i wont say that in this. I just personally perfect Usagi myself over yui/chi. Again theres nothing wrong with him it’s just well I feel hes getting more praise than what is earned really. Based off the show am I a fan of it? eh I like it i don't know if its something i’ll re-watch I wish the writing was better I kind wanna do a fix it fic for it but that's a lot of work compared to one shots lol

TL;DR: Well I dont mind yu/ichi as a charater when it comes to the leosagi thing esp for Rise I’m in the side of Usagi Miyamoto over Usagi Yui/chi. And feel they should have different ship names also 03/2012 usagi > over any other usagi uwu

[tiredlaoshi]

I Was Downloading Gay Porn So My Uncle Sent Me To University

I Was Downloading Gay Porn So My Uncle Sent Me To University

The place is hot, humid beyond acceptable, noisy—and chaotic. Overall, this place is not something Lan Wangji will be willing to visit let alone spend four years of university.

How did he end up in this place and why is he here if he looks like he will die any minute? Well, it could all be blamed on an ad that floated on Lan Wangji’s computer screen. Lan Wangji went home from school stressed and in a terrible mood. He wanted to let off some steam, but he is not the type to randomly hook up with anyone just because. He is a romantic and he has values, for your information. So, the only logical thing for him to do is to jerk off himself.

He set his bags down on the floor beside his bed. He reached his study desk in three big strides and logged in on his home computer. He quickly typed on his incognito browser the name of his favored gay pornography site. There might be something new and interesting to watch. He was browsing the landing page and did not find anything that piqued his interest, so he decided to type in his favorite keywords. What are those keywords? It stays between him and his browser, but there is nothing appropriate about it. 

Finally, a short video from a freshly made account popped out. From looking at the profile, the model wrote that he was a newbie and exploring his sexuality. He proceeded to say that he was sure he was straight until a few months ago before graduating high school, but an accident with his best friend’s hunk brother made him rethink his beliefs. Lan Wangji had snorted at that because that was how he also had his gay awakening. A half-naked Nie Mingjue walked out of his brother’s room looking for Xichen, droplets of water dripping from his hair down to his hard abs. Lan Wangji ran back to his room as fast as he could and had the most mindblowing wank of his young life with the image of a wet Nie Migjue on top of him.

He continued reading the profile for a few more seconds and decided that the person was interesting. As his profile described, he will be exploring things by himself and with the help of a friend from time to time. He is also asking anyone who would come across his profile and videos to be a little nicer—leave some helpful tips and not comment if they have nothing nice to say. 

Lan Wangji clicked on the sole video on the profile. The video was tagged as amateur—which is fine. The video quality is not grainy and the audio is clear enough to make out that it was filmed in a bedroom. The lighting is perfect and it helps the viewer to put their focus on the subject in the frame. A long-legged young man wearing the tiniest red shorts Lan Wangji had ever seen sat on a gaming chair. It perfectly accentuated his curvy ass and delicious thighs. 

His tiny shorts were paired with a cropped black hoodie that rode up to his torso when he raised his arms to fix the camera angle. Lan Wangji never understood why people wear cropped hoodies, it did not make sense to wear something that will warm you but does not warm your tummy. But now, something clicked in his mind. Yes, cropped hoodies are appealing and possibly might be one of the best things modern fashion has trended.

The internet connection was a bit sporadic today for some reason. Lan Wangji decided to hit the download button for the video; he did not want his wank session to be interrupted by anything. After a minute, the video was at 69% percent completion when the door to his room suddenly opened. He forgot to lock his door.

The doorway offers a clear view of his computer screen and its second screen. Lan Wangji turned his head at a break-neck speed and locked eyes with his uncle. His uncle who was the strictest person Lan Wangji had ever met had the strongest opinion about any debauchery. If he finds out one of his precious golden boys was downloading gay porn and jerks off to it, it will definitely send him straight to the ancestors. With his heart thumping loudly in his chest, Lan Wangji stood up and raised his hands to his uncle.

“Uncle, please, I can explain. Whatever you saw I can explain it.” He is close to crying, his tears are dangerously gathering in his tear ducts, and his mind is running a mile a minute. To his utter disbelief and confusion instead of getting the sternest scolding of his life, his uncle has given him an approving look. “Wangji, I did not know you had already chosen a university to attend. Yiling is far from home and mostly attended by working class and peasant children, but I think its climate may help you shape into a better man. I am proud you want to attend a state university and immerse yourself with the lower classes. This is a good experience to broaden your understanding of the world,” his uncle finished.

What university? 

What Yiling? 

What social classes?

What immersion?

What?

What?

What?

“We will talk about this more when your brother comes home for family dinner this weekend. Finish signing up for the university and send me the confirmation. I will send a letter to the university chancellor, he was a good friend.” His uncle gave him one last approving nod before closing the door. 

He was left there stumped for a minute before he was able to move. Once his uncle’s shadow could not be seen from the gap under his door and his footsteps ceased to be heard, Lan Wangji dropped on his chair. He did not know where his uncle got the idea that he had already chosen a university but he was still thankful his uncle did not call him out for going on a porn site and illegally downloading stuff. 

He lost all his desire to jerk himself off, the anxiety of five minutes earlier had exhausted him too much. With a sigh of relief, he turned back to his computer screen and saw the signup page for a university in Yiling. Lan Wangji did not know whether he would laugh or cry. Who would have known that a pop-up advertisement would save him from being outed to his uncle?

He closed the browser, the video he just downloaded completely forgotten by now and shut down his computer. He slumped on his table for a minute, then rolled to his adjacent bed to sleep. It was an exhausting day, when sleep claimed Lan Wangji, he skipped dinner and did not dream of anything.

When the weekend family dinner came, Lan Wangji had completely forgotten about the incriminating porn video on his computer. He had also forgotten that his uncle told him his application to Yiling University would be the highlight of this week’s family dinner. A big mistake.

His older brother gave him a proud smile when he opened the door to him and his boyfriend. Yes, boyfriend, because unlike Lan Wangji—Xichen had been openly gay since high school. At first, it scared him of what it would mean for their family of three but Lan Qiren assured his brother that he would still love him even if he was not happy of his choices. It helped a lot that Xichen was an achiever and of good moral character. It also helped that his boyfriend—Nie Mingjue—was from a good family and a respectable young man himself. It took some time for Lan Qiren to adjust to it, but all-in-all everything went well for them two. 

Lan Wangji, however, is a different case. He has not proven himself enough yet—he thinks. He achieved accolades academically, in his chosen sports, and music. He was praised by most people, or hated by those who envy him. He was another golden boy like his brother. A part of him is scared that his uncle might not understand him or take him seriously if reveals himself now. So, he decided to tell his uncle once he graduated college and started a stable career.

“Wangji, I heard you chose to attend a state university. I am proud of you didi!” Xichen exclaimed once they sat down at the dinner table. “Xichen, don’t get excited too much. You are scaring Wangji,” Nie Mingjue chided but also could not keep off a proud grin on his face. “Ah, nonsense! Wangji-didi knows I am just happy. I always worry that you would not take it upon yourself to explore but here you are. Mingjue, when has my didi grown?” Xichen kept on teasing.

Lan Wangji cursed inwardly. How would he tell his family that he never planned on attending a faraway university? They are all proud of him now; he would hate that he had to break their expectations.

“Gege, about that, I’m thinking of not going there anymore,” he declared to his family.

“Wangji?”

“Oh, didi!”

Lan Qiren and Lan Xichen both exclaimed at the same time.

“Wangji, what do you mean? Explain yourself,” his uncle hurriedly told him. He could not tell them that it was only a misunderstanding between him and his uncle, but he also could not tell them how they came to this misunderstanding. So, he thought of the best thing to say that he knew was not a lie but also not entirely true.

“Uncle, gege, I changed my mind,” he started. “I thought about it and I decided to stay. Uncle does not have anyone to live with him, and I did not think it would be nice to leave uncle alone,” he finished.

Lan Wangji was proud of himself and his answer. He gave himself an imaginary tap on the back for coming up with an acceptable excuse. Now, his family would not be disappointed.

“Oh, Wangji. I totally understand your qualms. Before I moved out, I also thought about it hundreds of times. It was a hard decision, but I realized I also had to spread my wings and fly on my own. Didi, would it not be possible to change your mind?” His brother is really sweet and understanding, and he thankful for it.

“Gege, I think there would be a better time to do the same, but not now. My time will come,” he reassured his brother.

Lan Xichen turned to Nie Mingjue with a pleading look, but he only lightly shook his head and squeezed their hands together. Nie Mingjue also had a younger brother, but unlike Wangji, he was more outgoing and could make friends more easily.

“Wangji, your brother is only concerned about you. I hope you understand. But whatever you choose, we will always support you,” he said with a reassuring brotherly voice.

“Thank you, Mingjue-gege. I appreciate that.” Lan Wangji sincerely said.

The table was quiet for a few more moments, and everyone was in comfortable silence before Lan Qiren broke it. “Wangji, I understand your concern, and I am grateful you think of me. However, as your brother pointed out, it is time for you to be independent. If I was the only thing holding you back into staying, let me reassure you, I will be fine.”

“But Uncle, it would not be right to leave you,” Lan Wangji protested, but before he could continue Lan Qiren held his palm up to silence him.

“Wangji, it truly warms my heart that you grew into a thoughtful young man. I aged but I am not old, at least not that much. I can take care of myself just fine. You are young, but not too young. It is high time for you to make a name for yourself. Make me proud, Wangji. But do not hesitate to come home when it all becomes too much. I am here and this house will always welcome you back.” 

“Uncle,” Lan Wangji was not able to continue what he was going to say because he had already burst into tears. This was the first time their uncle was openly affectionate to them. His uncle was not cruel but he was also not the type to openly express emotions with words. For the first time in a while, the family hugged each other.

Thinking about all of that back, Lan Wangji resigned himself to attending Yiling University. This place is far from what he was used to—it was everything Guss was not. The streets were bustling with life. There were shops and vendors everywhere. The people were friendly and smiles all the time. The nightlife was also bustling, the city never seem to sleep at all. It was a big adjustment for him.

He walked into the university gate and bumped into someone. He was annoyed, why would people run around and not look at where they were going? “Sorry, sorry, sorry! Are you hurt? I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to bump into you!” The man apologized to him and checked him out for any hurt.

“It’s okay, I’m fine,” Lan Wangji said. “I’m really sorry. I was already late for class and this was just the first day. By the way, I’m Wei Ying—a sophomore. I can walk you to your class, how about that?” The man, Wei Ying, offered to him with a blinding smile.

“Sure, I would love that, I’m Lan Wangji.” Attending a faraway state university might not be too bad, Lan Wangji thought to himself while Wei Ying was chattering with him as they walked into the university building.

Inspired by this Tweet

[womanhood2]

Can I ask/what led you to transitioning twice? If you've already answered then feel free to link me so you don't have to type it all out again! Thank you

No problem! I did type up a brief “about me” a few months ago when I started this blog, but I forgot to pin it and I don’t think it went very in-depth about my initial transition so I will go ahead and re-tell it in better depth.

I do want to clarify that my first transition was entirely social, and thus my first “detransition” would be considered desisting and not a formal, medical “detransition”. However, I say that I “detransitioned twice” to clarify that I changed my identity from and back to female on two separate occasions, as I feel like saying “desisted and detransitioned” could lead some people to believe that I simply started identifying as female and stopped hormones only once and at the same time.

But back to my initial transition. As I mentioned it was entirely social and almost entirely online, save for one person I knew in real life (my at-the-time boyfriend). This was 2014-2017 and in the rural American south- transgender was NOT a thing in our mainstream (by 2017 there were occasional mentions of it but it was still rather obscure and certainly not something that happened in middle or elementary schools).  Homosexual relationships were barely tolerated. I should mention I was also a closeted lesbian/bisexual- I didn’t know at the time that those two labels were different, but I knew that I liked girls in a much different way than I “liked”(envied and wanted to be friends with) boys. The only reason I had the “boyfriend” that I mentioned earlier was so that I could make friends with more boys, as girls did NOT like me. This was for multiple reasons: 1) I was an undiagnosed autistic. I only “knew” how to talk about arthropods, horses, and anime. The preppy rich girls at the private k-12 school that I earned a scholarship to did not want to talk about any of those 2) as I mentioned before, I was a “scholarship student”(aka someone who did not have much money and was from a family that lived “out in the country”) which meant that I did not go on interesting vacations, have a boat that everyone could hang out on, wear super expensive clothes and makeup, ect and 3) (once everyone found out) I was a lesbian. Girls did not want to be near me once they learned that I had a crush on another girl. I will not go into heavy detail but there was also an incident where multiple girls who were part of a Christian worship group attacked me after school for being a lesbian. (That was not the only time I was attacked at school for not being straight, but the other time was by a boy. That time was more intense and the school got involved and I came within a hair of being outed to my parents.) On top of this, my family was HEAVILY involved in the Baptist church, and thus not open to anyone (let alone their child) being LGBT

So clearly, being openly gay or transgender was NOT an option in my environment if I valued my safety. Also, no child wants to loose the home and family that they love! Even if you are uncomfortable in your body and jealous every day of the boys that you go to school with, you are 12 (or 13 or 14 or 15) and you would still rather have a bed to sleep in at night and food and parents that do not hit you most of the time than nothing. (That is another trend I tend to see with these openly trans children- none of them seem to have parents who would hit or abuse them for “acting out of line”, “associating that with our family”, ect…. Heh, they really don’t know “oppression”.)

So what was I to do in such a hostile environment? Go to the Internet of course! Online forums where I first learned of being transgender and already had transgender friends there- except some of my irl friend already knew my account names, and I couldn’t risk them telling their parents. So I made new accounts on the same sites but with a different name, pronouns, and often a different age. Eventually I told my online friends about my new accounts, but kept them hidden from my irl friends so that my irl friends only knew my first account (where I was a girl) and my online friends interacted with my through my new account (where I was a boy). I firmly believed that I was supposed to be a boy, and thought that when I got away from my parents, I would be able to transition and all my problems would be solved. Every night I would pray to God that he would make me intersex or make my body produce more testosterone somehow, so that I would look and sound more like a boy, since it would be years before I would be able to transition. I would “practice binding” using methods I saw online (such as the “sports bra method”) when my parents were asleep. (TRIGGER WARNING FOR SELF HARM) I should mention that I also experienced severe dysphoria involving my genitals, and would self harm them.

I should note that I WAS seeing a therapist at the time but she only diagnosed me with social anxiety (not even autism! Despite me telling her about how every child in my school hated me and I had no friends) and eventually for the abuse that my siblings and I were experiencing from our parents (my stepmom specifically would become violent towards me and later my brother during my middle and early high school years). So why didn’t I tell her about the gender dysphoria and self harm? Simple! We were still in the south, and she was a……. You guessed it! Christian “therapist”. 🫠

Right before high school (I was 15) I went on a field trip where I had to spend a lot of time with the girls in my grade. It made me soooooo dysphoric but I could not tell anyone because of the risk that it posed to my safety if my parents found out. I was terrified and so convinced that all the girls somehow knew that I was actually trans, even though I was still dressing (somewhat) like a girl and using a girls name. I thought that they knew that I knew I was trans, and they hated me for continuing to pretend to be a girl. Being with the boys during the times that I could on that trip made me feel so much better. It relieved me to pretend to be one of them, even if from the shadows. That trip really “cemented” in me that I was actually a boy, so when I got home from the trip I decided that I needed to break the news to my boyfriend (we were not allowed to have our phones for the duration of the trip). I don’t remember the conversation very well, but it went something like this.

Me: Hey, I love you and I need to tell you something

Him: Sure, what is it?

Me: I’m pretty sure I am actually a boy.

Him: No you are not.

Me: I really think I am. None of the girls like me and I don’t act like a girl or enjoy girly things. I am sorry if you don’t love me for this.

Him: I would love you even if you were a boy, but you’re not a boy. I am a boy, so if you were a boy I would know. If you tell everyone that you are a boy, then the boys will try to hurt you. I want don’t want to see you be hurt, especially by my friends. Please don’t tell anyone that you think you’re a boy.

It hurt me to hear from my closest friend that he did not believe I was a boy, and that boys/men would not accept me as one of them. However, this did not change my mind. I knew that we were in high school and this boyfriend would probably break up with me eventually. But I did heed his advice and continued not to tell anyone in real life that I believed I was a transgender boy/man.

As for my first detransition/desisting… It’s kind of hard to explain. I remember it but it was rather insignificant compared to what I’ve heard other people go through. It was maybe a year after I “came out” to the now ex-boyfriend. I was in the hallway in my school. The boys were walking past me and I realized they were taller than me now. I was jealous, so jealous, as my hight dysphoria was probably the most intense (possibly second to the genital dysphoria) dysphoria that I experienced. And then I just… made the realization. I realized that at this point it was too late for testosterone already. If I wanted to have a man’s body, I would have needed the hormones years ago. By the time I would be able to get hormones and be able to transition, it would already be too late. I would never catch up. What was the point of chasing something unattainable?

So I went inactive on my trans accounts. I did give my new discord (where I would be cis) to some of the people who knew me on those accounts but it was only very few, only 2 or 3 of which I still talk to today.

Internally, it was a slow process. It started with just joking about being a girl. Then eventually, one day I went into the women’s restroom and realized I didn’t feel like an imposter! Then the “women in STEM” craze came along and I realized maybe I could feel more like a women with these girls. I learned to love my tiny breasts once they started to develop. I learned that not shaving my facial or body hair (something that I had always HATED being forced to do) did not make me more of a man or less of a woman. I still have dysphoria involving my hips, height, and genitals.

So that was my first transition and desisting. I did not expect it to be so long! As for my second transition and consequent detransition, it is unfortunately darker, and involves sexual abuse, manipulation, and drugs and thus I will be making a second post about it since this one is already quite lengthy and contains some heavy content.

[cisthehuman]

CisLunar Dev Blog #2: BonBon

I had an official title for these updates, and as usual I plumb forgot LOL (Edit 4/9/2024: I added the correct title now lol)

Either way I wanted to post more on here (which will in turn make me work more so there is more to post).

I took a lovely weekend a couple months ago to finally begin redoing some of the designs for CisLunar. Including Cis and Lunar, there are 5 characters in all. As more parts of the story are released, there will be more characters added!

But let us focus on the boy of the hour shall we? Today we're going to meet Bonny "BonBon" Bond, Lunar's bestie and fellow radio host/informant/partner in (literal) crime.

Let's start off with his initial design!

I wanted BonBon to be different than Lunar in a lot of ways. First off he's a dog boy (he's got a little bunny in him too). I've always found Lunar looks very....awake, if that makes sense, so I wanted to give BonBon a very sleepy vibe. I wanted him to be a goth that wore mostly neutrals. And yes, he can do that cartoon dog thing when he's listening to something far away.

When I redesigned Lunar, I knew I would have to update BonBon in some fashion (not to toot my own horn, but he's a pretty solid design already). My first step was to doodle him as they were and see what I wanted to get fixed.

When I drew him at this point, I already made the decision to make his hair visibly more curly and changed the fringe. After this little doodle, I decided to make him full time wears all black goth. After getting some inspo from pinterest, I got what I think is a much better design! He still looks adorably sleepy.

In the new design I also decided to make his ears more visibly ear-like. The chain clock is now a nice little dog collar that goes nice with all of his piercings. LOL he also went from not showing a lot of skin to showing a lot more skin. I'm happy to go with the all black outfit as it counters nicely with how bright Lunar's outfit is. While I wanted to add more detail, I wanted to make it simple enough that I can draw more than once lol. Another thing I wanted to establish was the sense of style of the world through the characters' outfits. I wanted the fashion sense to always push the envelope and be more "otherworldly" but also trace back to vintage trends.

Lunar: You look great! BonBon: Thanks dude. Lunar: I can't believe you commit to a fishnet jumpsuit. BonBon: Girl, I also can't believe I commit to it.

Yay! One redesign down, two more to go! The next character is Lunar's mafia bf, Champagne Nebula. Below is the first try at the redesign. I'm planning on redoing it!

Till then! Seee youuuu next timmmeeee

[beck-a-leck]

2022 Writing in Review

Table Key: W = Worked On; P = Posted A Chapter; New = New story; Done = Completed story. Completed stories have also been Bolded for visual differentiation. Some of the word counts have an * beside them, indicating that the story was not posted. Some story titles have been Redacted. Detail views of the tables sections can be found under the cut.

I kept track of my writing again this year, just as a way to help me keep track of where my writing time is going and how often I'm working on certain projects and see which projects were (sadly) neglected this year. It helps me stay personally organized, particularly when the Project Time Blindness gets me and I think "Oh, I just updated this fic a couple months ago" and check the chart and realize it's been over 6 months.

This year I also kept track of my word counts for my own curiosity just to see how much writing I actually did in a year. And I gotta say I did a lot more than I expected! Like, I knew I was writing a lot, but without the count I never really had an idea of how much. Granted! The word count doesn't reflect Exactly how many words I wrote down.

For the multi-chapter counts that was Word Counts of newly posted chapters. And since many of my multi-chaps have been WIPs for years at this point, there were sections of chapters that maybe wrote 2 or 3 years ago and then got to copy/paste into their appropriate chapter.

For the one shots, though, those are all pretty accurate. Aside from a couple of carry-over from last year exceptions, they were all new ideas this year.

It's always interesting to me to see how my writing trends across the year. When I'm working on one-shots I don't work on my multi-chaps very much. And when I'm working on my multi-chaps I tend to not work on one shots. And what months I didn't get much of anything done because I know I was busy with other things.

All in all I have to say I had a really good year for writing!

Lots of new ideas! Lots of progress on long-running WIPs. Lots of participation in fandom events that were a TON of fun and let me stretch my wings, so to speak.

This year I:

Started and FINISHED one multi-chapter piece within a timely manner. (RIP to all my other years-long WIPS)

I started 17 completely new stories.

I completed 12 stories total.

I filled 28 prompt fills via tumblr. (And I know there are a handful that have been sitting in my inbox since like August. I hope to get to those again one day. When I have fewer other event obligations taking up most of my writing time/energy they are a ton of fun and I will keep doing them in the future)

And I wrote over 226k words this year! (I didn't even count any of the work I did on original things, which I know will likely add another 10k or so words. And there are probably some work on long-running WIPs that I did but forgot to track because I only added like a paragraph or two.)

Next Year:

I want to complete at least one of my Redacted WIPs that I thought was going to be done like 2 years ago and I just keep dragging out the last few chapters.

And overall I think I want to focus more on my long-running WIPs. Just because some of them are Years old, and I do want to finish them up. Mostly because I want to clear off my plate a little before I add any more multi-chap WIPs to the pile. I have one idea I've been sitting on since like 2017 that I keep telling myself to just wait until I finish up a couple other projects and then I can start posting it.

I also hope I can find the motivation to finish up some of the one shots I started this year but then got distracted by other projects and didn't finish. Because I think there are some good ideas in there that should see the light of day.

All in all, I am very much looking forward to seeing where my writing goes next year! Maybe for funsies, I'll start tracking some of my original pieces too. Just to see how they add up.

Multi-Chapter works:

One Shots:

[chai-ssi-latte]

false god 💋💞

Chris Evans

About: You realize that you and Chris have a special way to resolve and forget problems.

Note: 18+ (I think) Not very descriptive (idk how to write smut). Still read at your own risk. 

Masterlist | Prompt List | Masterlist (Taylor Swift Songfics)

Send a tip here :) | Donations/Tips are not required but is very much appreciated :> It will help me support myself in uni and my studies :)

Gif not mine :)

Hands on his hips, Chris stared out at the window with his back turned to you. Both of you breathing heavily after an intense verbal fight. Lately, the rumors of Chris dating another girl is getting the best of you, especially with the media shipping him with the woman saying that they deserve each other. 

AS IF you and Chris have not confirmed your relationship four months ago. 

You decided to confront Chris about it, whether he’s going to deny the obvious fake news (that seems to be you’re the only one who believe so), or he’s going to talk to make them stop. “It’ll die down. Give it a week.” he had said. You told him that the news just keeps burning and it looks like it won’t pass by anytime soon. Not now, with all his fans riding the trend of this newfound lover.

You wanted to pull out all your hair. Y/N, you’re so stupid that things will work out with you and Chris! He’s so out of your league and here you are... 

“I can’t believe I said I’d die for this guy.” You murmured. “Are you done staring out? Or are we gonna continue our talk calmly?” You wanted this to work out, really. Let’s just say moving from one state to another was pain in the ass, and also, you don’t think you can live without Dodger at this point. “Chris?” You called out, trying to get the attention of your boyfriend who seemed to be more interested in the city lights than you.

Finally, a sigh escaped from Chris’ lips. He still avoided making an eye contact as he passed you by. He made a beeline to the kitchen and you followed behind him. “I’m gonna need wine if you want to continue.” He said. He went to grab a glass while you instinctively went to get the wine. 

“Chris, this is Y/N. Y/N, this is Chris.” Kevin Feige watched as you and Chris exchanged your hellos. “She’s a new big screen actress coming from theatre. I met her through my wife.”

You couldn’t stray your eyes away from Chris the whole night, your confidence boosting when you would caught his eyes in yours too. Trying to hide the shake of your hands as you sip on your whiskey, you tried to pretend that you didn’t notice Chris making his way to you.

“The night is young, you should have fun,” Chris sat on the stool next to you. “I’ll take what the lady is having.” He ordered. He was surprised to know you've enjoyed two shots of whiskey and was already in your third one. “You should hit the dance floor. Let out a few steam.”

You raised an eyebrow, then looked at the dance floor. Most of the Marvel actors that were invited in Kevin’s party were seated on their couch and round table. The people who were at the dance floor are Kevin’s and his wife’s friends outside work. 

You looked back at Chris and saw him with challenging eyes. Smirking, you drank down your whiskey bottoms up. “Now, why would I do that when I can stay here with you?” 

Chris seems to be satisfied with that answer as he leaned his arm on the bar, inching closer to you. “Is that so, baby?”

“Baby? You call strangers baby?”

“How about we solve that stranger problem?”

To be honest, if you could describe how you and Chris now in the kitchen you’d say stupid. You both look stupid, sitting across each other, sipping on a glass of wine, and none of you daring to speak. You also forgot the topic you were supposed to bring up earlier which adds up some itch on your skin.

God, please talk. You begged in your head. You don’t want to start the conversation anymore. You’re tired of always being the first one to speak up on problems and trying to ease down a hard road.  You were startled when Chris’ chair scraped across the floor, not noticing that he had finished his wine, and yours is still half full. 

Chris doesn’t seem to care about your wine though. He grabbed your hand and pulled you up on the chair, dragging you behind him. “Chris?”

“We’ll talk in our room.”

It feels good. God damn, it does. The tingles in your skin as Chris thrust in and out of you felt surreal. His random kisses on your neck, breast, and collar bone are enough to take you into bliss. 

For a moment there you memorized every touch of Chris’ lips on your skin, his tightening grip on your hips, and his wandering hand on your your upper body. You felt your hips buckled forward as Chris thrusts faster and faster, deep groans and growls falling out of his mouth. There was like an electric current that runs on your veins sending your legs to shake as you both reach your orgasm. 

Chris’ voice turned coarse as he rode out his high, leaving wet kisses on your chest, up to your neck, and one final kiss on your lips. As you open your eyes, he was already looking at you with a grin. “Tired?”

Smiling, you turned your body facing him. “Not yet, are you?”

“I could go another one.”

“So what’s the plan?” You broke the silence, referring to the drama around Chris’ name. “Are you gonna make a public statement or what?”

Your breath quickened when Chris didn’t answer but remove the shirt covering his body. You could see his toned back, and his tattooed chest when he turned to face you. “I am.” Chris spoke. “But we need this off first.” He tugged on your shirt, urging you to lift your arms.

You instead pursed your lips, crossed your arms, and raised an eyebrow. “I need to know the plan.”

Chris sighed, removing his hand away from your body. He unbuttoned his pants, stepping out of it, then kicking it away. You could see the outline of his bulge. You and Chris have done the dirty many times before, and even with his member covered up, your mouth almost watered at the sight. You tried to hide the itching feeling on your skin, wanting to grab his member, and just ask him to take you.

“Chris.” You warned as he step closer. “The plan.”

“The plan is to have sex until your anger is out of your system.” He said plainly, grabbing your waist, and connecting his lips to yours. 

It worked. The night ended with you caressing Chris; face as he fell into a deep slumber. Your anger was long gone, and he did promise that he’ll make a statement tomorrow to clear all the rumors that are tarnishing your relationship with him. You two ended up cuddling, your hand on his chest with one leg over his torso.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The smell of brewing coffee was enough to wake up your senses. Your body instinctively stretched out as you welcome the warm rays of the sun hitting the bed. Rubbing one eye, your other hand mindlessly find your boyfriend. Jesus, Y/N, of course he’s the one brewing coffee. 

You jolted at the sound of your phone  ringing on the bedside table. You lazily crawled to grab your phone as you swipe to answer the call.

“Good morning, you lucky bitch!” You pulled the phone away from your ear because of the loud voice. Reading the name, you rolled your eyes and wondered why your best friend is calling you at eight in the morning.

“Good morning to you too.” You greeted, “What’s up?”

“What’s up?! Bitch! You know I only call you when I’m jealous of you and Chris’ flaunting each other!” She said. You curled your lips knowing full damn well that’s a lie, she’s like a sister attached on your hip bone. “Like damn, I wish I have that kind of relationship, fuck you.” She added.

You laughed, “I really don’t know what you’re talking about, babe. I just woke up.”

“Y/N. I know the sex was great and I think everybody in the world knows too. But please tell Chris to stop making us feel single than we already are.”

“What?” You quizzed.

“You know what, bye. Check instagram. I hope you get pregnant.”

“Y/BFN!” and the call ended. “What the hell was that?” You didn’t even get the chance to comprehend what’s really happening and the call was already done. Plus, your just-woke-up brain didn’t help.

Curiously, you opened your very inactive instagram account and noticed thousands of notifications on a post that Chris tagged you in. Your mouth hang open in shock at the pic he has chosen to post. You were sleeping and covered up, yes, but the obvious love bites on your neck and collarbones were there for everyone to see.

chrisevans nothing greater than waking up next to the love of your life. Rumors are rumors, while it’s out there making people go crazy, I’m going crazy over someone else @ yn

“Did you like my post?” Chris walked in with a tray of breakfast and cups of freshly brewed coffee. “Is it too much?” He asked placing the tray on the bed.

You beamed at him, “Nope. I like it.” You even showed how you double tapped on his post. Only hiding when you started typing a comment.

“I’d still see that you know.” Chris chuckled.

“Not when it got covered by your fourteen million followers.” You stuck your tongue out.

“Not when the media make an article about it.” He rebutted. 

You groaned, “Whatever. You just don’t like losing, do you?”

“Eat.” He commanded. “I have the whole day off and I’m thinking about only one thing we could do all day.”

I apologize for the sudden MIA. I was on a writer’s block again. Hope you enjoy this one though! Please be gentle with me :> 

Also, I almost typed down while it’s out there spreading like a wild fire, i’m spreading something else but it just doesn’t sound like Chris and IT’S MAKING ME LAUGH. bye

~ chai

[pinksatinsashes]

The Dream Girl's Guide To Finding Yourself

Figuring out who I was and finding myself has always been something I struggled with my whole life. I remember about 6 months ago I was in tears, completely stressed out, searching how to find yourself when you've lost yourself on google, TikTok and YouTube to find the answers to all my questions. I felt like I had completely lost sight of who I was as a person due to constantly changing myself. However, every time I searched online for answers, all I found were more and more women talking about how they too had lost themselves. I eventually forgot about it, but recently I've felt like I found myself, or am on my way to finding myself and I am so excited to share with you all how I finally was able to achieve that and what helped me in case it might help you to. Grab your pen and paper because the class is in session.

Delete Social Media

We're starting this class with something a lot of you guys probably won't want to do, but in my opinion, it's essential to find out who you are, what your beliefs are and your own real opinions. Social media is constantly painting a picture of what we're supposed to be, how we're supposed to look like, what world issues we're supposed to care about, what opinions we are meant to have and even how we're meant to talk. If you don't speak a certain way people will have something to say, if you don't post a specific issue on your story people will have something to say, if you don't fit whatever aesthetic is currently trending, you often feel left out. That's just what it is, that's how social media works and when you don't already have a clear idea of yourself, your opinions and your beliefs it can be so difficult for you to figure it out when you have all these conflicting messages being thrown at you. Personalities have become a trend. Images have become a trend. EVERYTHING is a trend. Quirky, I'm not like other girl type people were once THAT girl, now it's the grossest thing to ever exist. People define you by your music taste, the books you read, the celebrities you follow as if everyone who likes a certain thing should like these other things and act this certain way. All black people should like this kind of music, all gay people should like this kind. And if you fit into a certain identity but you don't like the things that others with the same identity like you may feel pressure to conform. This isn't an environment you can learn who you are in. Not only does it constantly tell you who you are and how you're meant to feel it's also absolutely awful for your mental health. Whenever I scroll through TikTok I would see controversial video after controversial video with people nonstop arguing in the comments and I would feel physically drained just reading through the comments as I had just been in 6 or 7 different arguments in real life. Or on Instagram, even the "positivity" pages made me feel bad because if hip dips were so great why would you have to keep posting about it? We don't post about how Beyonce is so pretty 24/7 but we do about how stretch marks are perfect. If it was so great surely we wouldn't feel the need to keep saying it. Those accounts made me feel worse than any other account I had ever followed. I didn't even know what hip dips were to feel insure about them in the first place until one account dedicated a whole 10 slides to telling people that there was nothing wrong with them. And I know by the comments that a lot of girls had also just found new insecurities. But the worst way Social Media impacts us, the way we hardly even notice is, it gives us a need for validation. We all know social media is fake. Even Khloe Kardashian who has had god knows how much work done doesn't feel comfortable with a single unfiltered image being out. Every influencer edits their photos and almost everyone only posts the fakest most agreeable parts of themselves. Photos smiling when they were experiencing the worst moments of their lives, only posting superficial photos online and skipping the ones that meant something because you didn't look good there or it didn't go with your feed. It's all for validation, we all have this thirst for it, this need for it. But if we all know how fake social media is, so why do we participate in it? What's the point? Why do we want validation from people who have never even met us? How can you find yourself in a space where you're more than expected to be the fakest person ever. To do things just to come across a certain way. You have no idea how freeing it is to be able to do things, like things say things without worrying about how people will view you. Just because you deleted social media and you're back in the real world where it's obvious how little people actually care. Social Media is also super addictive, it's literally MADE to be that way, to have you scroll and scroll until - oops the day is all gone and I've done nothing productive it's now 3

am. It takes time away from doing things you actually love, like reading books that interest you or doing crafts or learning a skill. When you spend all day on social media it will shape your personality. That's why people have become chronically online, because a lot of the things that matter on there don't matter in real life. If you're trying to find yourself, do yourself a favour and just delete your social media. Stop being the person that's constantly being pushed on you, but the person you actually want to be.

Declutter Your Contacts List

Stop talking to the people that constantly bring you negative energy, the ones that constantly complain about that relationship but never leave, the ones that complain about EVERYTHING, the ones that make you feel bad about yourself. CUT. THEM. OFF. Even if it means you'll end up alone, there's nothing wrong with that. Go through your contacts list and make decisions on the friendships you want to keep and the ones you don't. Give each friend a review. I have a friend review worksheet available right here that you can use. You can either cut off those that don't make the cut or start talking to them less. It's difficult to find yourself when you have people in your life that make you feel like you aren't good enough or leave you feeling drained every time you speak to them.

Find Out What Your Opinions and Beliefs Are

Now that you're done your mental detox, it's time to let some new thoughts and ideas in. What are your opinions and beliefs, and what are the things that you felt like you needed to believe in to fit in somewhere or because someone told you to. Write down all your big beliefs and opinions and research the other side of them. If you're pro-life research why people are pro-choice. (this is how I found out that I didn't agree with being pro-life and I was pro-choice.) If you have liberal views research why other people don't. This isn't meant to necessarily change your mind but rather cement what ideas you genuinely believe in and have reasons behind them that are more substantial than "I saw it on TikTok" A lot of people have opinions and beliefs, not because they actually believe in them but because someone told them a fluffed up version of it. Read books and educate yourself on things you believe in, learn about all the different types of feminism and what they believe in if you think you're a feminist. Educate yourself from somewhere other than social media or word of mouth.

Figure Out Who Your Dreamgirl is and Work Towards Her

Figuring out what the ideal version of you is and working backwards has to be one of the best ways of finding out who you are. The ideal version of me, eats healthy most days and reads books in parks or coffee shops. All those things are available to me now and I just need to work towards them. It's not unachievable. I can start by eating healthy once a week or just researching healthier versions of things I already enjoy eating. KFC turns into homemade wings and sweet potato wedges that I enjoy just as much. It's changes like that that make me feel good, happy and content. In 5, 10 20 years, where would you want to be? What kind of lifestyle would make you feel successful, happy and excited to wake up every morning? Write it down and start working towards it now. By writing these things down I found out what things I really valued most and who I was as a person instead of who I thought I was. I value my health, mental and physical and I value peace and quiet. I'd much rather stay at home with a book than go party. If you need help figuring out who your Dream Girl is to help you work towards her you can use this worksheet I made for you here. Finding out who you are is essential in life so that you don't change for other people into a morphed version of yourself that you don't even recognise and so that you can improve every day, working towards your end goal. So I hope this post helped you. Let me know it did. MUAH xx