#and also sometimes friendship is being Down to Clown on the same piece of [shit] media

[zerozeroren]

Officially the most niche piece of art I've ever posted.

A promotional image for this fic (no I'm not the author) and a tribute to Generally Pooky and Krimsonrogue who gifted me and a dear friend of mine with many a happy hour of bad book bashing.

[allthefilmsiveseenforfree]

Dear Evan Hansen

You may have seen some ~online discourse~ about the film Dear Evan Hansen, an adaptation of the 2016 Broadway musical, and you might have wondered what all the hubbub is about. I mean, it’s a feel good story about a senior in high school, Evan Hansen (Ben Platt), who has some pretty severe anxiety and depression. While trying to fulfill an assignment from his therapist to write a letter to himself, his letter gets picked up by another student, Connor (Colton Ryan) - and later that day, Connor kills himself. Connor’s grieving parents and sister Zoe (Amy Adams, Danny Pino, and Kaitlyn Dever) are desperate to learn more from the boy they think was Connor’s best friend - after all, Connor’s suicide note was a letter addressed to “Dear Evan Hansen.” And, as you can imagine, Evan tells them about the unfortunate mistake and sits with them in their grief as they struggle to pick up the pieces of their lives. 

Just kidding! He lies to them, repeatedly, elaborately, expansively for months, constructing an entire false friendship with Connor that never happened, and ingratiating himself into the wealthy nuclear family he never had, in large part because he wants to get into Zoe’s pants! THIS IS THE PROTAGONIST OF THE STORY. Oh, and it’s a musical so there is a lot of singing and crying and singing WHILE crying and sometimes crying and not singing at all. But the #inspiration, you guys. 

Things I liked:

Pretty much everything but the story and Ben Platt’s performance. The supporting cast is stacked, and all of them do a great job at elevating material scraped directly out of a diaper worn by someone who just chewed their way through a copy of the DSM-5. 

A couple of the songs are damn catchy - “Waving Through a Window” and “You Will Be Found” are standouts for a reason - and here’s the thing, Platt sings them well. But as you’ll discover, there’s a lot more to a movie musical than just singing your part. 

Stephen Chbosky, the man behind every deep thought I and a lot of people in my generation had in 2006 after he wrote The Perks of Being a Wallflower, is a pretty good director. I particularly enjoyed the fanvid-type cuts in “Waving Through a Window” in conjunction with the lyrics, and his use of interstitial shots to flashbacks (and sometimes flashforwards!) is a neat little bit of shorthand that I thought was used sparingly enough to be effective. 

Amy Fucking Adams. She’s holding on so hard, so desperately to the idea of who her son could have been, rather than the reality of who he was, and she is full of such deep pain that is masked by an almost endless supply of patience with Evan and relentless positivity. All this made me want was Enchanted 2 even worse than I already did. 

Super into everything Zoe wears - the costuming department did a great job, and now all I want to do is live in mom jeans and baggy sweaters.

Did I Cry? I teared up a couple of times because I’m not a completely heartless bastard and when Amy Adams offered Evan Connor’s college money, my heart broke for the lie Evan had thrust upon her, and Julianne Moore’s song got me good, because she’s just a single mom to Evan who is doing her goddamn best. 

Things I hated more than the time I dropped a frozen gallon container of fruit cocktail on my pinkie toe in my parents’ garage and it turned black and I thought it was gonna fall off:

Ben Platt is 28 years old. He originated the role of Evan Hansen on Broadway, so in many respects it makes sense that he plays the role in the movie, except for the one kinda sorta important thing where he looks like a wizened old crone standing amongst a sea of children doing his best twitching, cringing Hunchback of Notre Dame impression. If you want someone to convincingly play 20 years their junior, hire Paul Rudd. Otherwise, please don’t ask me to believe that this supposed 18-year-old has crow’s feet. 

And that twitching nervous energy is a huge part of the black hole at the center of this film - he’s playing to the cheap seats and walking through the halls of his high school like a wet chihuahua. It’s an excruciating acting choice to watch - he doesn’t just have anxiety, he is on the verge of a nervous breakdown seemingly every second of every day. Like honestly, where is only-mentioned-never-seen Dr. Sherman, because this young man’s meds are NOT WORKING DR. SHERMAN. 

There’s such a lack of self-awareness on behalf of the writing, directing, and performance by Platt. There’s one song, “Sincerely, Me,” that offers the only glimpse of commentary about what Evan is doing, by pointing out the malicious ridiculousness of him writing a series of fake emails as proof of his and Connor’s friendship. 

Also what high schoolers email this much?? I know this was written in probably 2014 or so, but has a bitch never heard of a text? Even a DM? This whole plot is constructed around the premise that high schoolers are just constantly, constantly emailing each other. 

Everything - and I mean EV-ER-Y-THING - about Evan’s relationship with Zoe is so creepy and disturbing that with a soundtrack change, this could easily be a horror movie. He attempts to get her to like him by describing to her all the things her brother noticed about her - oh wait, I’m sorry, all the things HE noticed about her while he was skulking in the shadows following her around for years, watching every move she made, and it ends with him singing repeatedly “I LOVE YOU” because following a girl around and never having a conversation with her or knowing her at all is love, right? This was clearly written by the same people who chose “Every Breath You Take” as their wedding song because Sting is hot and they never actually listened to the damn words. 

And it gets about 10 billion times worse when Zoe goes to Evan’s house alone, takes him up to his room, and sings “I don’t need reasons to want you” and that was the moment I was that person I hate in a movie theater and I pulled out my phone to Google who wrote the music and lyrics to the musical (we were in the back row of the theater no one was behind me THIS WAS AN OUTRAGE EMERGENCY) and of motherfucking course it was written by Benj Pasek and Justin Paul, 2 men who heard about meeting an actual human woman from a friend one time but otherwise are unfamiliar with the concept. 

Lastly, enormous serial killer vibes from Evan sending unlabeled flash drives anonymously through the mail with no note in an attempt to right his wrongs. That’s not catharsis, that’s how the next installment in the Saw franchise starts, with Evan in a Billy the clown doll mask showing up on the screen and asking if you want to play a fucking game. 

Also, I know it’s not possible for the narrative to justify this in a way that could be satisfying based on Evan’s actions, but what is with this thing where single working-class mom Julianne Moore is turning down rich people’s money for Evan to go to college? Like, obviously we can’t have that happen in the movie but in real life, fuck your pride! Take those rich people’s money!

I also know how movies work but nothing annoys me more than a giant group of high schoolers all getting beeps and boops to indicate text notifications all at the same time because I don’t know a single person under the age of 55 who keeps their ringer on. That shit is on vibrate AT MOST, and I feel like that’s a millennial thing. 

The emotional climax of the film is obviously Evan’s WAY TOO LATE confession, but the idea that it’s prompted by Connor’s family suddenly getting a lot of internet hate is, frankly, laughable. If Sandy Hook taught me one thing, it is that no tragedy is immune from trolls who live only to cause other people devastating emotional pain on the internet. That shit starts day 1. Apparently no one involved in this production has ever been on Twitter?

Also it feels like there should have been a dog somewhere in this movie and there was no dog, so points off for that too. 

Perhaps Dear Evan Hansen isn’t nearly as deep as it aspires to be. Perhaps it’s a morality play, a simplistic message of “Don’t lie, kids, lying is bad!” Major studio movies wrap themselves up with a nice bow at the end so everyone can feel good about themselves and leave with a happy ending, but the moronic cruelty on display here makes that feat feel impossible. We’re left with Evan in an orchard, reading Connor’s favorite books and staring into the big blue sky with all the self-actualization he’s earned now as a lil treat. And if Evan Hansen looked like an actual 18-year-old, it would be a lot easier to extend more empathy to him and his not-fully-developed prefrontal cortex, but it’s a little harder with this fully-grown, weathered man who was old enough to remember seeing Liar Liar in theaters. 

Dear Evan Hansen, 

Get some actual help and a haircut and maybe you can grow up enough to have an actual healthy interaction with any other living person, ever.

Sincerely, 

Me

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[mojjisxng]

dance, baby! | prince!niki au

requested

pairing- niki x gender neutral reader (there is a mention of a dress, but anyone can wear dresses, not just girls, sooo yeah)

genre- fluff, angst if you zoom in with a microscope, forbidden love

warnings- literally one swear word (if that counts lmao)

word count- 1.5k

a/n- correct me if i’m wrong, but this is the best piece of writing i have ever done, probably because i spent a bunch of time on it. i feel really proud of this au, so it would be very very very appreciated if you gave it some love🥺😘 -issy❤️

mellifluous sounds from the string orchestra rose in volume, from a soft murmur up to a clarion call, which seemed to penetrate every nook and cranny of the Ume Kingdom; the ball was about to begin.

for palace servants like you, the annual new year’s ball is a taxing and mind-numbing event. the truth of the matter is that you had to rush from handing out drinks, to taking guests’ overcoats, to then clean up after everybody, all the while being treated like shit by most attendees. however, there was an upside; you were actually allowed to wear A GOWN this year. the dress appeared to gleam every time the dazzling lights of the ballroom caught it, and it’s blush pink satin with intricate gold detailing soft to the touch. although you felt gorgeous in your new getup, the wisps of hair falling from your updo due to the labours of your work, got on your nerves nearly as much as the pompous guests and the clanging music that hurt your overworked brain. after about two and a half hours of attending to the royal family and their acquaintances, you finally found a slot of time to stand and take in the jovial atmosphere of the party. weeeeell that was until you felt a faint tap on your shoulder….

now, the beloved prince niki was on the opposite end of the ballroom to you at the start of the ball, where he had to interact with all of his parents’ ‘friends’ (more like people they can use to boost the status of their kingdom). these tight-lipped exchanges usually surrounded the topic of arranged marriages, as an irritated niki had to listen to a plethora of noblemen’s daughters blether away about how great they were. all the poor boy wanted to do was let loose a bit and dance, but he knew he’d get severely scolded by his parents. you see, rumours circulated (very true rumours in fact) that niki had a passion for dancing and would always be seen leaping down the grand palace halls- giving him the immensely unfortunate sobriquet, ‘the pirouetting prince’. when he eventually escaped the clutches of the desperate and power-hungry party-goers, niki sprinted with superhuman speed to a secluded corner of the room. that’s when he laid eyes on you; not for the first time though. in actuality, you and niki had established an unexpected bond, which had started when you were mopping the floors of the palace’s spacious corridors and happened to trip right onto niki’s patent leather shoes. you thought he was going to yell at you, just as any other member of the royal family would, yet the kid only started howling with laughter. you were utterly shocked by his easygoing behaviour, mainly because you always thought that he purported the same air of regality as his strong headed parents, even at such a young age. nevertheless, that’s how your friendship, aaaand maybe some other feelings blossomed. this led to secret conversations away from the prying and disapproving eyes of the other staff, the monarch, and his wife. sometimes you two would sneak out of the palace to go on late night adventures in the city, strolling along the cherry blossom avenues, too engrossed in your own little world to care about anything else.

all of the air left niki’s lungs as soon as he saw your ethereal figure in the distance. even though your hairdo was as good as ruined, you had sweat lining your brow and your resting bitch face was at its highest level of ‘i want to die and i also want all of you to die’, he thought you exuded the most magnificent energy in the room. even the classical music, which honestly constantly ground on his gears sounded marvellous when he looked upon you. so he bounded over to you like a puppy to their favourite human, and lightly patted your shoulder.

you pivoted around when you felt the tap on your shoulder, and was faced with a dashing prince niki. a deep blush immediately tainted your cheeks and crept down your neck, at the realisation that niki was talking to you in public.

“h-hey prince niki, do you require my service?,” you stuttered.

“uhhhh yeah i do require your service,” he mocked your politeness, “i require you to come and dance with me. what’s with the formalities all of a sudden?”

“well i didn’t expect you to come and talk to me with all these people around; you know that your parents don’t like that we’re friends.” in fact, the king and queen despised that he was friends with a lowly, working-class servant like you.

“anyways, i can’t dance with you, i have a job to do unlike you,” you continued with a hint of jealous spite in your voice.

niki shot back with nonchalance as he grabbed your wrist and tugged you along behind him, “well i’m the prince, the future ruler of the Ume Kingdom, so what i say goes, which means you’re going to put that tray down and dance with me.”

and that was that.

gracefully, you and niki almost floated around the dance floor in time to the bounding waltz that enriched your ears. what you failed to notice as the both of you stared into each other’s love struck orbs, was the king muttering to his guards, commanding them to separate his son from you. it was a good thing that niki detected the shifty and brisk movements of the palace guards just in time to instruct you to run. swiftly, the pair of you manoeuvred through the swarm of people, bolted into the vast, luscious gardens and made your way to the centre of the hedge maze, built on the wishes of a five year old niki many moons ago.

when you reached the middle of the colossal maze, you both fell onto a marble bench, catching your breaths as though you had ran a marathon. finally, your heart rate decreased and you turned to face niki, who was already observing your every move, “niki, when they find us, i am soooo going to get fired, maybe even exiled. i’m terrified of losing you at the best of times, never mind us being caught interacting right in front of a bevy of your female suitors!”

“yeah i’m scared too, but even though i’m afraid, i strongly believe that we should do our best with the situation; let’s just try. it should be obvious by now that i like you, i like you a lot, so i think that we should change their outdated attitudes on the relationship between stupid social class and love,” niki declared with conviction.

“i like you a whole lot too, but it’s not that easy. maybe your parents are right to judge, i’m just a poor scullery maid, who has no parents and nothing to offer,” you replied dejectedly.

“listen to me y/n, you are the most fair and precious person i have ever laid eyes on. you are intellectual, generous and you have the best sense of humour that even the jesters are jealous of-”

“wait- are you calling me a clown?” you teased.

“n-no i didn’t mean it like that. i told you to just listen didn’t i? i’m not finished. you’re eyes hold the andromeda within them, you’re lips outshine the loveliness of the roses in these very gardens and the brightness of your cheek would shame those stars up there.”

the poetic words that spouted from the boy in front of you brought a tear to your glittering eyes. no words could leave your mouth, too choked up to utter a word, so you engulfed him in the warmest hug niki had ever experienced and smashed your pouty lips onto his porcelain cheek. that was confirmation enough of your feelings towards niki. even so, he whispered words of comforting optimism into your fluffy hair, “we don’t need the approval of anyone, we should be able to run for our hearts, run for our lives, run for our dreams.” he paused to press a tiny kiss to the crown of your head, but continued with all the solemnity he could muster, “we can make this work, we will make this work.”

so as the new year materialised into view, the young lovers could be seen under the pale moonlight and twinkling constellations, huddling close to avoid the light pinches of the winter zephyr and dreaming of their future together.

[captainillogical]

Distant Lands Ch.3

Stranded on a planet with toxic conditions and nothing but the clothes on your back, your only means of survival lies within the gem that got you here in the first place.

Spinel/Reader

collab with my lovely wife @firstofficertightpants​

(thanks for being patient! sorry im so slow sometimes lol)

You wake up several hours later with a migraine. You don't even want to open your eyes as you groan silently inside your head. Everything hurts terribly. You lay there for a few moments, and move your arms to massage your temples. The pressure against your skin helps, but you still feel quite a bit of the pressure inside your skull.

You don't even know what time it is. You look around you to realize there's a bit of light. Adjusting yourself slightly, you move your arms in front of you. You.. realize that Spinel is holding your center tightly, and you can’t move. You can’t even tell if she’s sleeping or not, so you lay there quietly for a moment to gauge her breathing. It’s.. steady enough, so you’re pretty sure she’s asleep. You try to move her arms away from you ever so slightly, and she tightens them and clears her throat. You freeze.

“Uhh,” You say out loud. “Can you stop touching me now? I kind of need to go to the bathroom.” “..you tryin’ to escape me?” She finally says after a few moments. You sigh aggravatedly out loud at her.

“No. How could I even get very far? You’re right here.” She makes a noncommittal grunt at that, but doesn’t make an effort to move. God you can't stand her. You don’t think you could even be friends with her under normal circumstances, nonetheless being forced into a friendship with a murderous clown against your will with no chances to escape. The sooner you can find a way off this miserable rock, the better. “I’m not joking. Let me go so I can pee.”

“Fine. I’m coming with you, though.” She replies, and moves her arms enough so you can fling her limbs off you and sit up. You turn around to see her staring at you, and you wonder if she watched you sleep. You fight off the shiver even though you’re a bit creeped out at the prospect.

“Please don’t tell me that you’re going to watch me.”  You shoot her a look, and she raises an eyebrow.

“Watch you what?” She asks, and you fight off another groan of frustration. Fuck all of this.

“Nothing.” You exhale, and get up to go outside to relieve yourself. Spinel follows you, of course. Cursed gem, this one. Why couldn’t you have been taken by a Pearl instead, you think to yourself. This entire ordeal would’ve been a lot easier to deal with.

It’s so bright outside once you actually walk out, you feel like you haven’t seen light in forever. It takes a second for your eyes to adjust, but once they actually do you nearly open your mouth in shock at the state of this sun. It's freaking huge, for one. Like, several sizes bigger than the sun you're used to seeing. This one is also red, and something about it doesn't sit right with you.

You really gotta get off this planet.

"You ever see a sun like this?" You turn to face her.

"No. This one's weird." She squints at it. Not very helpful, then.

"Okay well, don't watch. I'm serious." You say, and lean your side against a nearby tree. She turns her head slightly to not face you. Whatever, good enough you guess.

You slip your pants off, but fumble for a second due to an item being in your front pocket. You pull the small object out and your heart drops for a moment. And then it picks back up rapidly. It's blue and bird shaped, and tied to a keyring. It's.. it's the small tracking beacon that you have matching with Steven. You.. you can't believe your luck. You never have this on you anymore.

Many years ago when you started going out on missions with the crystal gems, Steven used to beg and cry about having you not come with. He was so worried constantly, even though you were extremely safe with the gems, so you promised him you'd get something to make him feel better. And you got both yourself and him matching beacon keychains. So if you ever got lost, or something went wrong, you always had a way for him to find you. You stopped carrying yours regularly years ago since Steven started joining in on the gem missions, and mainly had it on your keyring for decoration and sentimental reasons. It must've fell off and into your pocket somehow. Now to just find a high enough hill to place this upon without Spinel noticing..

You realize that you've been quiet for a decent amount of time, and finish up your business before Spinel realizes anything.

Well. You kind of have a tiny smidge of hope now. You walk over to the gem, and she turns to regard you.

"Did that lighten your mood? You look almost cheerful." She says to you, and raises her eyebrow in question. You clear your throat. Fuck, you forgot your face shows everything.

"No, I'm actually extremely hungry and miserable right now." You reply coldly. You hope she's not suspicious of anything. "I'm gonna try and find some food for myself. Since you know, I'm an organic being and I need sustenance to survive." You glare at her, and she's not even paying any attention to you. 

You try a different path this time since it's light out and you can actually see. Spinel's clinging to your arm of course, because why not. It's not like you can fly off this planet by yourself. You wander about for nearly twenty minutes before you find a tree with some long cylinder-like fruit? You hope it's a fruit. You pull one down and have to snap it off the tree, which was weirdly difficult. The outside feels strange, like there's a fine film of.. something similar to wax on the outside.

Spinel pulls one down as well, and turns it around in her hands. You bring it up to your face to sniff it, and it seems okay? The surface seems soft enough. You're about to bite into it when Spinel rips the one in her hands in half with a quick snap, and the weirdest looking slime pours out of it in a murky brown color. It's absolutely repugnant smelling.

"I wouldn't eat this." She says, and drops the fruit to the ground. "Doesn't smell great."

"No shit, really?" You reply sarcastically, rolling your eyes. "It looked delicious to me." 

"Was just trying to help. I don't want you vomiting again like last time." She regards you with a look that you can't interpret, and this instantly pisses you off. How dare she act like she's doing you any fucking favors.

"I don't need your help." You force out, seething. She looks like she's about to say something, but you storm off in a huff before she can start. You don't care. 

You need to find food and water today, otherwise your chances of getting home to Steven alive and in one piece are close to zero. Your body aches, but you keep moving forward. You're determined to stay alive.

Spinel is still following behind you, and she isn't holding your arm this time. You push a bunch of vines out of the way of what looks like an overgrown path elsewhere, and you spoke too soon. Or, thought too soon, because she's wrapped her hand around yours this time. Ugh.

You pass by a lot of different types of bushes with similar berries like the ones from before, but you aren't taking your chances with those. You risk faster dehydration if you vomit any more. Your stomach grumbles at the thought of sustenance, and you feel like you might start chomping on leaves soon. You.. realize something with that train of thought. You've only sought out plant-life as a food source so far, completely ignoring any kind of animal that you could possibly eat.

You realize that you haven't seen any animals at ALL on this planet so far. That's strange. I mean, obviously for a complicated ecosystem like this there has to be creatures of some sort around, right? You've really only been here for a day, so you can't really be sure, but.. you're lost in thought when Spinel tugs your arm, and you nearly trip forward.

"What the fuck?" You say out loud. 

"I think there's something edible over here." She says, nodding over to this area through the thick trees. You walk over to where Spinel is standing to see what she's looking at.

You can see trees with different fruit on it this time than the others, and you'll take your chances with this one. 

"Let's hope this one doesn't poison me." You say with a shrug, and make your way over to the couple of trees nearest to you.

Looking up, the lowest hanging fruit are close to 15ft off the ground. They're green and yellow colored, and shaped like some kind of eggplant/durian hybrid. You hope it smells better than the other 'foods' you have discovered so far. You walk around the tree with Spinel still holding your hand, trying to find an easy spot to climb. There isn't even a viable foot holding that you can reach with your hands. You look at the other trees nearby, and they're all shaped the same. Tall, with smooth trunks that are completely useless to climbing. Great. 

You look around you to see if you can find any rocks or sticks to knock some down with, and see a decent sized branch on a low enough tree to grab. Sweet. You grab it to break it off, and it snaps off the tree pretty easily. When you turn around, Spinel's already got several fruit in her arms, and is grabbing another down. Oh right. You forgot. She can stretch herself at will. Why the fuck didn't she say anything before? You're nearly seething with rage, but decide to push it down to deal with your hunger instead. You walk back over to Spinel, and she hands you a fruit. You turn it around in your hands, gauging it's feel and smell. It seems alright. Better than the others, anyway. 

It's soft to the touch, so you tear into it with your hands carefully, ripping the fleshy skin apart easily. It's ripe, and smells nice, and the flesh inside looks good enough to make your mouth water. But you're not a fool, so you pull out a small chunk and place it inside your mouth. It tastes good, actually. Kinda lacks flavor, but you don't really care at this point. It doesn't make you vomit immediately. You wait a minute or two, making sure your stomach isn't going to retch this, and continue eating it slowly to not upset your stomach.

You don't realize that Spinel has been watching you carefully through all of this, and it’s right then that you notice that she probably doesn't know a thing about humans or organic beings at all. With your stomach steadily being filled and you've now got a bit of energy, your anger from earlier returns. She brought you to this planet with the idea of keeping you trapped here but didn't even bother to see if you could even SURVIVE. Your attention is back on her, rage clear in your eyes. 

“Did you even think for one single, miserable second about how I was suppose to survive out here?” You say, voice nearly shaking in fury. “Do you even know what a human needs to live?” 

Spinel seems taken aback for only a second before her eyebrows furrow.

"What were you going to do if I couldn't find any food and died?” You're walking closer to her. "What if I ate something that poisoned me? What if I touched something and my skin melted off? What if something attacked me and I bled out? What would you have done!? Left my body to rot on this planet, leaving you alone with it?!" Her eyes flicker with emotion that quickly turns to anger, and at this point you're standing in front of the gem, glaring up at her. You jam a finger into her chest, just to the side of her gem. “Steven would never know what happened to me, my family would never get answers. Do you even know a single FUCKING thing about humans!?” 

Spinel has the nerve to look down at you with aggravation on her face as she jabs a finger back into your chest, pushing you backwards.

“Listen here, human,” Spinel says the last word with a sneer. “I searched through several planets to find you one with adequate shelter and food, because I'm a good friend.” She jams her finger into your chest again to make a point. “So if I were you, I would be a little more GRATEFUL.” 

You scoff at her, placing a hand over where her finger had hit. 

“OH! WOW! YOU'RE SO RIGHT!!" You throw your hands into the air dramatically. “Thank you SO MUCH for stranding me on this SHITHOLE planet with a HOMICIDAL MANIAC.” You pointedly look to her to emphasize that she's the maniac. “I am so ETERNALLY GRATE-” 

Her hand shoots out, slamming your torso against the tree behind you, cutting off your supply of air. Several pieces of fruit fall from the tree above, thunking against the jungle floor around you. 

“You know, you're not being a very good friend.” She draws out, holding you in place. With the wind knocked out of you and you being pressed into the tree behind you, you can barely gasp an intake of breath. 

"Clearly you know nothing about being friends with anyone." You manage to choke out. Her grip on you tightens, your ribs squeezing painfully. You blink, seeing spots in your vision, your heart beating ever so loudly.

“You don’t know me. I was MADE to be a friend. I WOULD know what I’m talking about.” She spits out at you.

“You were what?” You barely manage to say, and she loosens her grip on you slightly. You take in several gasps of air.

“Nothing. You wouldn’t know.” She hisses angrily.

“What do you mean, made to be a friend!” You question her, and she drops her hand from your torso.

“I'm not talking about this. We're done here.” She retorts, and spins around to storm off. Your jaw drops as you watch her stomp off into a pathway you’ve never been. 

Wow. Very mature.

You pat yourself down for a sec to make sure you’re okay, and honestly, your ribs really do hurt. You hope she didn’t fracture them, because booooy, that would suck. Your arms feel like they're starting to bruise already. You grab as many fruit your pockets and arms can hold, and set off to the pathway Spinel went through.

What the actual fuck was she talking about back there? Made to be a friend? You can barely manage to walk and carry the fruit in your arms, several keep jumping out already and you have to stop and pick them back up. You took note of where this area was, and you're pretty sure you're still within the vicinity of your shelter.

You don't make it very far when you walk directly into something, spilling your arms contents everywhere. It's.. Spinel.

"Uh.. the hell?" You say out loud and look up to see Spinel staring at something. You follow her line of sight to see a.. cave of some sort on the side of this cliff. "What is that?" 

"I don't know." She says in aggravation, and stalks off over to the opening. You follow suit.

It's a large entrance, about 11-12 feet tall if you could guess. The outer edges are weirdly smooth. This cave almost seems man-made in nature, but there's something about it that tells you not so much. You can't place it yet, though. The cave seems to be pretty deep, as well. You can't see much, other than rocks and dirt and some dead leaves.

"Weird. You think the gems that were here did this?" You question out loud, not really expecting an answer. 

“...No.” She says, almost hesitantly. “I don’t know what this is.” She looks like she’s about to walk into the cave, but second guessed herself and spins around to face you. “Gem stuff is different from this.”

“Hm, well.. whatever. It doesn’t matter. I still need to find water before dusk, and it’s mid afternoon, if I’m going by this sun’s position.” You say, and wipe your brow. It’s humid, and you feel gross. You don’t really want to stick around to figure out this planet’s mysteries, either.

You walk off, not caring if Spinel follows you or not. She can figure herself out. You’ve got shit to do, and she’s of no use to you other than her ability to stretch like earlier. You keep along the path you’ve been following, looking around occasionally to find any more food or something helpful. Most of the trees around you are the same type, other plantlife breaking it up here and there. There has to be a water source nearby, because you’ve been so parched you feel like a raisin. Ugh.

You pass by an area with a lot of rocks off to the side, and you can hear something. The closer you get to it, the more it sounds like running water. Just your luck!! You run over to it, and there’s a bit of a drop off, but the view is absolutely amazing. 

You spot a small waterfall off to the side, and a decent sized lake in this clearing. The plant life around the edges of the water look nearly ethereal with how the vines and flowers are floating on top of the water. This looks like an oasis. You carefully place all of your fruit down off to the side by a larger rock, and run down the side to get to the water.

You get up to it, and bend down to test it with your finger first. Gotta make sure it ain’t acid water, you know? Never know with this place. It feels fine and it isn’t burning your skin, so you’re taking it as a good sign. You cup some with your hands and bring it up to your face to take a quick sniff before drinking. It smells a bit off, but you’re sure it’s just because you’re on this strange planet.

You take several small gulps, making sure your stomach is okay with it. You sit at the edge of the lake, resting your feet for a second. You feel.. a bit relieved. Okay. You’ve got food, you’ve got water, you’ve got shelter.. and you have a possible way off this planet. Maybe. You still have to find a good place to deposit the tracker. You hope Steven remembers that his matching keychain exists in the back of his bedside drawer. You.. you hope that they’re trying to find you. It’s been more than a full day, and you logically KNOW that them getting to you would take a bit of time.. but you’re worried regardless. You’ve never been in a situation so hopeless before. You’ve camped a lot, sure, and you’ve been on planets not exactly suitable for human life. But not something like this, and not with an unfamiliar, wild, mood-volatile gem. 

Speaking of said gem. What she said earlier is still on your mind, and you still know nothing about her other than her name and how weirdly defensive she is about friendship. You don’t know about her age, what she was doing, why she was attacking Steven, how she KNOWS Steven.. none of it makes any sense. You’ll get your answers eventually, or you’ll get off this planet. Without her. She can stay here until that sun goes supernova for all you give a shit.

You’re lost in thought when you see ripples across the water, and you look up. There’s nothing in the water that you can see.. Ah. Off to the side.

There’s a little.. animal, drinking water a good 60 feet away from you. It’s hideous. It looks like a crossbreed of a platypus, a duck, and a goose. How unfortunate. You watch it for a few minutes, as it doesn’t see you sitting there and you can safely observe it. It doesn’t really do anything other than drink water and look around. It seems almost peaceful, with dusk setting in and the sun edging away over the trees. So there are small animals here, after all. Huh. Wonder why you hadn’t seen any before.

You’re sitting there quietly when something moves behind you, making the strange creature let out a squawk and run to hide in the underbrush. 

You see Spinel’s feet walk up to your side, and internally sigh. Couldn’t even get adequate alone time. You were kinda hoping you could sit here alone to zone out and plan a different way to get off this planet as a backup plan. Well, whatever. You’ll plot later. 

“We should head back. It’s getting dark, and I’d like to gather shit for a possible fire to keep myself warm tonight.” You say, and stand up. Ugh, everything hurts, and the heavier gravity is fucking with your knees. You lean down to brush off your clothes from any dirt left on you, and stretch your back. Spinel’s watching you quietly.

“Ya didn’t leave.” She states. You stare at her, a bit dumbfounded.

“Where would I honestly go, Spinel?” You sigh. “Also I’m not stupid enough to wander off right before it gets dark. I don’t know what’s out there.” You turn around to head to your ruins that you call a shelter, and gather your food back up. You’ll figure out a way to transport some water later.

Spinel gathers a couple of the fruit in her own arms, like she’s trying to be helpful. You glare daggers at the back of her head. You turn around before leaving to take in the scenery again, and burn it into your memory. You’ll be back tomorrow.

It takes nearly twenty minutes to get back to camp, it’s almost completely dark out now, and the cold is setting in. Once you’re back, you walk into the ruins to set down your food into a corner. You look to your makeshift bedding from last night, and figure you’ll try to grab more leaves once you’re done with your fire supply gathering.

You head back outside to see Spinel rummaging around in some bushes, doing who knows what. You roll your eyes, and walk back into the jungle line of trees to find some dry foliage to burn. There’s a tree you can see that’s half dead, so you peel some of its flaking bark off, as well as any of the dry looking branches. You spot a few branches on the ground as well, and gather those too. 

You come back and forth a few times to get enough of a stash going. You don’t know how long you’ll be on this planet, but you’re the type of person that likes to be prepared if possible.

You wipe your hands on your jeans, proud of the pile you’ve managed to build. Spinel comes into the ruins beside you, with something in her arms.

“Uhh, what’s that?” You ask her. She’s just holding a pile of twigs and moss.

“Kindling.” She says, and raises her eyebrows like it’s obvious. 

Huh. That’s.. helpful of her. You don’t know how you feel about this, so you just tell her to put it on the ground next to your pile.

“Thanks, I guess.” You say awkwardly. “I’m gonna go find leaves to make my bedding a bit better. I’m not running off, okay?” You head outside again, but not before you take a quick glance at Spinel standing there. Her expression was strange - one you haven’t seen her make before. But you have more pressing concerns right now, so you wave that out of your mind.

You can see your breath outside now. This weather is absolutely wild, you can’t believe the temperature would just drop so quickly like that. You’re shivering, so you work quickly to gather as many leaves as possible. You spot a couple of large ones, and catch yourself getting excited. You scoff out loud at yourself. Getting excited over leaves now? What’s next, getting excited when your food doesn’t make you vomit? Excited that Spinel hasn’t strangled you yet? How low will your standards go?

When you get back inside with your findings, you see Spinel over by your makeshift bed. Except it’s piled.. Comfortably high now. Like a foot off the ground, what the hell?

“Is this okay?” She finally speaks up.

“I was gone maybe five minutes, and you did all this?” You ask her, and she nods. The fuck, you’re almost touched. 

But then you remember she’s trapped you here and she doesn’t actually care about you at all. 

You set down your leaves in the pile, and grab the stuff you brought in to make a fire in the middle of this room. You place a couple rocks in a circle as Spinel watches you, putting sticks around in a cone-like formation. You put in the kindling as well, and grab the sticks you’re using to start the fire with.

You’ve made fires using this method before, but it’s been a while, and you’re rusty. You feel like you’ve got performance anxiety with Spinel watching you, but after a few tries (and a few expletives) you succeed in building a small fire. You sigh out loud in relief, and gather a few more sticks to build the fire with, placing them on the pile. It seems to be burning nicely. You sit by it for a few minutes, watching it to make sure it’ll be fine and not fall over, and to also get warm. Spinel sits beside you, much to your annoyance.

You gather your thoughts before succumbing to the heavy pull of sleep. If you can wake up in the middle of the night and sneak away from Spinel somehow, you can place the tracker on a hill nearby. You have a couple places in mind already. And then maybe you’ll be rescued, and you’ll never have to see this gem ever again, and you can sleep in a real bed. And take a shower. And eat real food. You sigh again, and Spinel glances at you.

She watches you for a considerable amount of time, enough for you to get irritated and get up.

“I’m gonna sleep.” You state, and walk over to plop on the bed. You feel like all these leaves don’t make any difference, comfort-wise. It isn’t as cold as before though.. so that’s a plus.

You hear a scuffle behind you, and you hope Spinel is getting up to leave. You feel a presence behind you, and reside to groaning inside your head. Ugh! Whatever! You’ll pass out soon anyway, weather she’s there or not.

You feel Spinel get in bed behind you, and she wraps her arm around your middle. 

“I’m not going to leave. I told you. You can stop touching me.” You say to the person behind you. She grunts in response.

“I’m not sure I trust you yet.” She mumbles. If you could scream right now, you would.

You lay there for several long moments, letting sleep drift to you. 

Your thoughts are heavy with yearning to escape, and your eyes close with the intention of waking up in just a few short hours.

[m0etenchandon]

First Time (reader x virgin!Joe smut)

Pairing: Female reader x Joe Mazzello Summary: You always sit together in class, but your friendship never extended past the four walls of the lecture hall. So, when Joe finally musters up the courage to ask you to hang out, you take your shot. You have pizza, try to watch a movie, and finally show him what he´s been missing out on Warnings: SMUT (18+ only), virgin!Joe, blowjob, premature ejaculation, fingering, pussy eating, unprotected sex, creampie A/N: This is my 2,000 followers celebration! Thank you guys so so much, I don´t know what I would do without you. I love you all! So to thank you, here is some soft virgin Joe smut Word count: 6K

Gif credit to @mazzelloplots

This is pure filth and you are not allowed to read it if you´re under 18. I will block you if I catch minors interacting with this story.

You met Joe the first proper day of Uni. He had stumbled through the door a few minutes late, spotted the first available seat and made a beeline. Fortunately for you, it was the one next to yours. At first you were annoyed. You had hoped you could get some space, especially since it was first thing in the morning, but when you met his gaze your heart made a little flip. It wasn’t necessarily love at first sight, but he was cute. Very cute. His auburn hair was all messy from him having probably just woken up and there was a hint of some light stubble covering his jaw.

Joe was his name. He didn´t introduce himself so you had to peak at his notepad to find it. Joseph Mazzello.

You didn´t talk the first day, but he gave you a soft smile at the end of the lecture. The next day he asked to borrow a pencil. And after that he asked you for the answer to one of the questions. And then a joke which was actually funny. You could never forget the proud smile on his face when you laughed at it. That and his New York accent.

You always sat together and quickly became good friends. But inside of the classroom only.

“Hey Y/N?”, Joe said when you started packing up your notebook and your laptop. It was a Friday and you were eager to get home. Netflix and the wine in your mini-fridge were calling your name.

“Yeah”, you said, shooting him a smile. A blush crept onto his cheeks. God he was too cute. You were absolutely smitten. It was unfair really.

“I-I wanted to ask you if you uhm- I want to- shit I´m sorry”, he mumbled, eyes panicked.

“Joe! Relax”, you giggled, reaching out to grab his arm. It felt firm under your grasp and you had to properly concentrate on not squeezing to feel his bicep.

“Right. Sorry. Uhm- I was wondering if you wanted to hang out sometime?”, Joe asked. His eyes met yours momentarily before shying away and staring at his feet.

“I would love to, Joe”, you said, a stupid smile plastered on your face. You scribbled your dorm number down on a piece of paper and put it in his hand. “Come around mine tonight at 8”

You walked home with a spring in your step. It wasn´t a date, or maybe it was, but at least it was a start. You really liked him. Whether or not he liked you too was a mystery though. He might just be shy around everyone, right? You hadn´t really see him talk to anyone else, but he answered lots of questions in class and often made them funny. It was strange really how he could go from being the class clown to struggle to ask you one simple question.

You decided to not dwell on it further and unlocked the door to your dorm. There was a note on your side of the room from your roomie. She was going home for the weekend. Thank god. Not that you didn´t like her but it was so refreshing to have the room completely to yourself. Also, it meant that you and Joe wouldn’t get interrupted.

Deciding you were going to order pizza for when Joe came over, you just popped a few slices of bread in the toaster and decided that would have to do for now. You picked up your dirty clothes and made the room all pretty. You didn´t want him to see how messy you really were. At least not right away.

There was a knock at the door at exactly 8pm. Ok this was happening. You felt your pulse increase. You looked over your room one final time. The pillows and blankets on your bed looked very inviting next to your open laptop with Netflix on.

“Hi”, you said when you swung the door open. Joe had put on a sweater that made him look so soft. And cute.

“Hey, Y/N”, Joe answered. He gave you a lopsided smile and took a step into your room. You could see him taking it in, making you oddly nervous.

“So, do you want to watch a movie? I have ordered a pizza for us”, you said, plopping down onto the bed. It wasn´t the biggest bed, but it could fit two people if necessary. And it just meant that you had to sit closer which you definitely weren´t complaining about.

“Oh I thought we were going to study”, Joe said. A pink blush rushed up his cheeks as he gestured to his bookbag.

“It´s a Friday night, Joe”, you giggled, waving him over. “Come here you nerd”

Joe gave you a nervous smile and dropped his bag before heading over to you. It really was a bit of a squeeze to fit you both. You could feel warmth radiating from his thigh over to yours and the way his arm felt firm against yours.

“What do you want to watch then?”, he asked, desperately trying to ignore the tension in the air. You always sat together, just never this close.

“What about this one?”, you said, pointing to the thumbnail of a horror movie. You could feel Joe tense up next to you.

“Uhm what about a comedy instead?”

“Oh don´t tell me you´re scared, Joe”, you laughed. “I´ll protect you don´t worry”

Joe sighed and let you start it.

You regretted it after about 30 minutes because you were both scared shitless. Joe was biting down on his nails, trying to avoid looking at the screen but at the same time not wanting you to know how scared he actually was.

When the main character was chased down a hallway by a guy with a chainsaw, you closed the computer. Not exactly the type of mood you wanted to set.

“Let´s not watch that anymore”, you said, throwing it to the side. You turned to Joe just in time to watch him let out a sigh of relief. The look on his face almost making you melt.

“What should we do instead?”, he asked.

Your eyes fell on his lips as he spoke, and you could immediately feel the tension turn into lust. This was your chance. You could just ask him and get it over with. If he didn’t like you back then fuck it, you could probably get over him. But you needed to know.

“We could kiss”, you suggested, your voice barely above a whisper. But Joe caught it though. His eyes went wide as he stared at you, his mouth falling open slightly. Shit.

“I mean it´s just an option, we don´t have to if you don´t want to. I get it if you only see me as a friend”, you mumbled rapidly. Shit you had messed up.

“No no, I-I want to”, Joe said after a while, taking your hands in his. His long fingers wrapped around your palms, his thumb soothing the skin. It felt warm. The butterflies in your stomach went crazy.

You closed your eyes and leant in, drawing in a breath as you felt his warmth when you moved closer. You stopped just before your lips met his and stopped, wanting him to take the final step. He did. Joe closed the distance between you and pressed his lips to yours. They were soft. Slightly chapped. A wave of warmth spread across your entire body, making your heart flutter.

The kiss was interrupted by a knock on the door. Shit. The pizza.

Joe pouted when you pulled back, his lips pink and puffy. You couldn´t resist. You leant in and pressed another peck to his mouth before moving off the bed. He shifted in his seat and ran his fingers through his hair. Trying to take a deep breath to compose himself.

As soon as you opened the door you could smell the delicious pizza. You hadn´t realized just how hungry you were before now.

“Pizza for Y/N”, the delivery girl said, giving you a kind smile.

“Yes, thank you so much”

You fished out the money along with some tip and thanked her again as she handed you the pizza.

“Smells so good”, Joe said as you closed the door. You half- groaned in agreement and made your way over to him. You sat the pizza down between you and sat crossed legged in front of him.

“So you actually intended this to be a study-date?”, you asked, taking a slice into your mouth and moaning at the taste. It was delicious.

“To be completely honest, I just brought them because I didn´t want you to think that I thought it was a date-date”, he said, blushing.

“Aw you´re so cute, Joe”, you giggled, nudging his knee with your own. “I wanted it to be a date-date”

Joe nearly choked on his pizza. His eyes went wide.

“Really?”, he questioned.

“Of course! I like you, Joe. Why did you think I kissed you?”, you gushed. The deep-red blush that painted his cheeks were enough to have you swoon.

“I don´t know, I haven´t really uhm- I haven´t really kissed that many girls”, Joe admitted. He looked away as he spoke, picking up another slice of pizza and eating it in three large bites. Yep. He was definitely from New York.

“I don´t care, Joe”, you said, giving him a grin once he finally met your eyes again, “And for the record, I couldn´t tell”

“Oh. Well that´s good I guess. Thank you”, he said, wiping his hands on his thighs. Joe paused for a second to look up at you. He seemed nervous all of a sudden again. “Do-does that mean we can do it again?”

“Mhm”, you smiled, moving the half-empty pizza box out of the way. You perched yourself on your knees and leant in. Joe met you on the half-way, his lips melting against yours. You could feel your stomach churn with excitement, his slight stubble igniting the tingles in your panties.

Joe had apparently gotten a surge of confidence, because he pushed his tongue into your mouth, his hands grasping your sides and pulling you into his lap. A gasp left your mouth as you felt the bulge under your crotch. You placed your legs on either side of his body and deepened the kiss. Your hands slid around his head to pull at the hair in the nape his neck, causing Joe´s mouth to fall open against yours.

You took the opportunity to trail your lips across his jaw and down to nibble at his ear lobe. Joe´s grasp on your waist tightened.

“Do you like that, Joe?”, you cooed, pulling at it with your teeth. His breath stifled in his throat.

You smirked against his skin, moving your lips down to suck at his pulse-point. You took his fair skin into your mouth, marking him up. A strangled moan escaped his mouth.

You pulled back to eye your masterpiece, a smirk pulling at your lips at the light purple bruise.

Joe looked absolutely fucked out. His eyes were hooded in pleasure and his lips puffy from kissing. A thin layer of sweat covering his forehead. Huh. Already. That was quick. This was going to be fun.

You made a tentative thrust of your hips, dragging your clothed heat over his crotch. Joe´s eyes shot open in surprise, his fingers digging into your sides. He was already rock hard.

“You´re so hard already”, you said, cocking your head. You grinded down again, seeing his breath hitch in his throat. A vein popping out on his forehead.

“Shit I´m so sorry, Y/N”, Joe said. He tried half-heartedly to push you away. “I-I uhm, I can´t. Fuck I can´t control it”

You giggled at his innocence. God he was cute. So innocent.

“There´s nothing to be sorry about, Joe. I´m flattered”, you said, leaning in to give him a quick peck on the lips.

You slid your hands down his chest to pull at his sweater.

“I need you to stop me if you don´t want to do this. If you´re not comfortable then we won´t do anything”, you warned, tapping your fingers against his skin.

Joe´s eyes went even wider as he desperately shook his head. He grabbed your hands and pushed them further down towards his crotch. A yelp left his mouth as your fingers grazed over his erection when you were grabbing his shirt.

“Fucking hell”, Joe muttered under his breath, leaning forward to let you pull the sweater off his body. His chest was lightly littered with hair, his pecks and stomach soft.

“I love your body, Joe”, you cooed. You leant down to press your lips to his chest, your fingers sliding down his torso to rest against the waistline of his jeans. His cock was straining against the material, his pulse increasing as you were inches away from where he found himself so desperately wanting you.

“Please”, he whined, hips thrusting up to meet your touch.

You giggled and moved your body down his thighs. You reached out to play with the button of his jeans, letting your fingers graze lightly over his bulge.

“Please what, Joe?”, you teased, looking up to meet his desperate eyes.

“Can you please touch me, Y/N? I need it so bad”, he begged.

You hummed in amusement before leaning down. You pressed your lips against the soft curves of his stomach while your fingers popped the button of his jeans. Joe´s tummy was rising and falling rapidly under you, small whimpers leaving his mouth as your fingers grazed his cock while sliding the zipper down. You looked up at him to check if you could keep going before moving your lips down. Placing a kiss on the waist-band of his briefs, his cock twitched in anticipation just below where you were touching him.

There was a small dark stain on the material where the head of his cock laid. He was visibly throbbing, causing your mouth to water.

You hooked your fingers into the waist of his jeans and boxers and tugged at them. His cock was pressed down as you pulled the material down his thighs, before springing up and hitting his stomach with a loud thud. It was heavy and large, a prominent vein running up the underside. The head glistening with pre-cum.

Joe looked down at you with lust in his eyes, his hands gripping the sheets beside his body.

“Your cock is so pretty, Joe”, you cooed, reaching out to run a finger all the way down his shaft. You pressed against the vein, watching as it twitched underneath you. Joe cursed underneath his breath, biting down on his bottom lip.

“I uh- Shit I have to tell you something”, Joe said, grabbing your hand to stop you from touching him again. You cocked your head, giving him a sweet smile. You had a sneaking suspicion what he was going to tell you, but you needed to hear him say it.

“Go ahead”, you said, squeezing his hands.

“This is really embarrassing but I feel like you need to know, this is my first time. Ever. Like, doing anything”, he said, eyes fleeting away from yours. A deep red blush crept onto his cheeks and chest. Hmm. Yep. That´s what you thought.

“It doesn´t matter to me, Joe. As long as you want to keep going, I want to too”, you said. You tapped the back of his hands to force him to look at you.

“God I want to”, Joe moaned, letting go of your hands. He drew in a sharp breath when you placed them on his hips. Just beside his throbbing cock. “I just want you to know that I don´t really know what I´m doing. Everything I know is from porn”

You giggled and leant up to press a kiss to his lips. Mostly to stop his rambling but also because he was really cute and awkward right now. Joe moaned softly into your mouth, his lips following you as you pulled away. His eyes closed. Wanting more. And that was exactly what you were going to give him.

“I´m going to take such good care of you, Joe. Just sit back and relax”, you whispered, moving down his body again.

You caught his eyes as you leant down. You blew hot air onto the head of his cock, humming in amusement as it jumped. Joe´s knuckles were already going white from how hard he was fisting the sheets.

“Ready?”, you asked, ghosting your lips over his tip.

“Please”, Joe whimpered, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth.

You smirked before licking a bold stripe from the base of Joe´s cock all the way to the tip. It jumped up to meet your mouth as your tongue swirled the string under the head. A steady stream of salty pre-cum leaked from the slit, and Joe yelled out in pleasure when you licked it all up.

You wrapped your hand around the base before pursing your lips and slowly taking the head into your mouth. It felt warn and soft, the salty taste covering your lips.

“Fuck that feels- oh my god I can´t believe this is happening”, Joe rambled, thrusting his hips to meet your touch.

You squeezed his shaft harder and hummed around the tip, letting your tongue press against the underside of the head. Your eyes were locked on his as you took him further into your mouth, sucking just a little bit harder until- oh. A salty liquid shot out of the slit, coating your mouth and causing you to lift an eyebrow. Ok. That was fast.

“Shit I´m so sorry I couldn´t- oh my god ah it feels so good”, Joe moaned. His back arched off the wall, his hips moving up against his mouth as he emptied himself. His cock throbbed in your hand as you guided him through his high, milking out every last drop of cum.

You pulled off him and sat down on his thighs again, opening your mouth to show him his own load. Joe´s eyes were droopy as he watched you swallow, cursing under his breath when you opened it again. All gone. The salty liquid slid down your throat.

“Hmm, I´d appreciate it if you warned he next time”, you said, a playful smirk pulling at your lips. You reached up to wipe the sweat off his forehead before pressing your lips to it. You moved off his lap and sat down next to Joe, pulling out the pizza and reaching for a slice. Cum wasn´t something you wanted to taste for much longer.

“I´m really sorry, Y/N. I didn´t mean to do that it just felt too good and I tried to hold back but I couldn´t and fuck I´m sorry I didn´t want to ruin this”, Joe rambled, pulling a pillow into his lap to cover his softening cock.

You giggled and offered Joe the last slice, grinning when he looked up at you for a split second before grabbing it. He groaned slightly at the delicious taste. He needed the energy.

“It´s fine, Joe. It happens. I just need you to tell me when you´re close so I can stop or slow down”, you said.

“I´m sorry”, Joe repeated. He threw his head back against the wall in embarrassment. His Adam´s apple bobbed when he swallowed the pizza.

“We´ll work on it. There´s no need to apologize”, you smiled, nudging his knee with yours. “But first, I´m going to enjoy this pizza”

“So we can try that again?”, Joe asked. He bit off another piece of the pizza, his eyes trained on where you did the same. They darkened as you licked your lips.

“I was thinking we could try something else, but yeah. If you want to of course”

A grin spread over his face, his lips curling around the food inside his mouth.

“I want to. Very much so. I´m not sure I can go again right away though”, Joe said. He swallowed the last piece of his pizza.

“I know. That´s why we´re having a pizza break. And, I also need you to get me ready first. That cock of yours won´t fit inside if you don´t”, you said, smirking when you saw Joe´s eyes grow wide. His gaze fell on your boobs before trailing down to your covered heat.

“Uhm do you want me to? Can I touch you? There?”, he stuttered, eyes meeting yours again. You chuckled before wiping your mouth. Joe drew in a harsh breath when you wrapped your hands around his neck and pulled him towards you, removing his pillow in the process.

You laid down on the bed and pulled him with you, wrapping your legs around his naked waist. His teeth clenched against yours as he settled himself between your legs, both of you giggling into the others mouth. Joe tasted like pizza. Delicious.

“Ca-can I?”, Joe muttered against your lips, whining as his sensitive cock grazed against your inner thigh. He slid one of his hands down your side to your waist, squeezing slightly before moving down to the hem of your shirt. His fingers felt warm on your skin.

“Of course, you can”, you said. You lifted your back off the mattress to allow Joe to slide the material off your body. He drew in a harsh breath when he saw your boobs in that lacy bra you had put on – just in case.

“Do you like it, Joe?”, you teased, smirking at the way he couldn´t pry his eyes away from your chest. “Or-“, you trailed your hand down your own neck, over your boobs before sliding back to the clasp of your bra. “Would you rather me take it off?”

“Off, definitely off”, Joe rambled. His eyes met yours for a brief second before they fell on your boobs again as you unhooked it. You shuddered as air hit your stiff nipples.

You grabbed Joe´s hand and slid it up your body, your fingers urging him to squeeze. He did. Ever so slightly, as if he was afraid he would hurt you. You giggled and moved his hand, pinching his fingers over your nipple. You arched into his touch, a low moan falling from your lips. This gave Joe some confidence apparently, because he looked up to gauge your expression before pulling at the nub a little. Another moan.

“Your hands are so big Joe”, you whined, squirming under his touch, “Feels so good”

“Can I kiss them?”, Joe asked, subconsciously leaning down. As if there was a magnet between his face and your boobs.

You nodded, burying your fingers in his auburn hair, urging him closer. His lips met the soft curve of your breast, his breath hot on your sensitive skin. Joe looked up at you as he moved his lips, pressing a kiss to the area just beside your nipple. His hand cupping the other breast. You could feel his cock harden against your leg, his hips moving against yours on reflex.

Joe hesitated for a moment before wrapping his lips around your nipple. He flicked his warm tongue over the nub before sucking it into his mouth. You moaned and pulled at his hair, feeling tingles go straight to your heat. Absolutely drenching your panties.

“I-I´m going to need you to move on, Joe. Feels way too good”, you whined, pushing him away from your chest. You were throbbing with need.

“Really?”, he asked, a confident smirk playing on his lips. Well, at least until he looked down your torso to your still clothed bottom half. “You´re uhm- You´re going to have to tell me what to do”

“Don´t worry, I´ll guide you through it”, you said with a smile, pulling him up for a kiss before grabbing a pillow and propping it under your torso so you could see down on your lap. “Start by taking my jeans off”

Joe nodded, scooching down and reaching up to unbutton your jeans. He pulled the zipper down while holding his breath, eyes going wide as he saw the matching lace panties you had put on.

You lifted your hips to let him hook his fingers into the waistband. Joe´s eyes nearly bulged out of his head as you told him to take your panties off to, inch by inch of your bare pussy exposed to him as he pulled them down his legs.

“Fucking hell”, Joe whined, desperately trying not to palm his cock as you were naked in front of him. You spread your legs, watching him draw in a harsh breath.

“Are you sure you want to do this?”, you asked. Joe nodded frantically before plopping down on his stomach between your legs. Oh. His head was really close. You could feel his hot breath.

“Definitely”

“Ok, uhm do you want to use your mouth or just your fingers?”, you asked, not really knowing how much you were going to teach him the first time.

“Both”, Joe said. He was determined, you had to give him that. Ok then.

“Eager, are we?”, you giggled, reaching down to run your thumb over his lip. He pressed a kiss to it, shooting you a wink. “Push your middle finger into me, yeah, right there”

Joe´s finger felt amazing sliding against your walls, your breathing already increasing.

“Oh god”, you whined, throwing your head back. “Another one. Curl them upwards”

He nodded before sliding his ring finger in as well. His digits were thick, strong. God you swear you could have cum right then and there. A rush of pleasure shot up your body as he curled them, somehow hitting your g-spot at the first try. You drew in a sharp breath and reached down to stop his hand, keeping his hand in place until you had calmed down just a little bit. Your chest rising and falling.

“What´s wrong?”, Joe asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

“Nothing. I just need a moment”, you said, breathing heavily. God how was he this good without even having any experience?

Joe grinned, obviously proud of himself.

“Uhm, ok if you want to, you can start kissing the inside of my thighs. Just keep your fingers still for a little while”

“Ok. I can do that”, Joe said. He leant down to press his lips to the apex of your thighs. Oh. That was nice. A rush of electricity shot up your body. Goosebumps forming on your skin. Joe´s stubble rubbing in the most delicious way possible.

“Yeah that feels very good”, you moaned, trying not to move your hips too much “Just keep kissing. Do you know where the clit is?”

“Here?”, Joe asked, pressing a kiss to the hood of your clit. A gasp left your mouth. Yep. That was it. You nodded, earning a cocky grin from Joe. He pressed his lips against it, adding a little more pressure.

“Fucking hell. I uhm- just keep kissing my clit, take turns licking too. I don´t know, my brain doesn´t seem to be working right now. I´ll tell you if it feels weird”, you rambled on, feeling the vibrations from Joe´s chuckle through your body. Your neck almost cramping up with how hard you were straining to look.

“Oh ok. Like this?”, Joe asked, flicking his tongue over the sensitive nub. Your walls clamped down on his fingers, already feeling the knot in your stomach start to tighten.

Joe took your loud moan as a yes and kept going. He alternated between flicking his tongue over your clit in fast moves, pressing small kisses to it and the surrounding areas in between.

“You taste really good. I haven´t tasted anything like it”, Joe mumbled, his words almost muffled by your pussy. “And I can´t actually believe I´m doing-“

“Less talking more licking, Joe”, you said, growing inpatient. You were so close.

“Right. Sorry”, he giggled, leaning back down. “Do you want me to move my fingers again?”

“God yes. Just rub them against the front”, you instructed, gasping when Joe did just that. He watched in awe as you threw your head back in pleasure. Your orgasm was rapidly approaching, the tight knot almost becoming unbearable as Joe wrapped his lips around your clit again. He sucked it into his mouth while working your g-spot with his fingers.

Short puffs of air were leaving your lungs as you inched closer and closer to your high. Joe´s surprisingly skillful fingers urging you forward. His hips grinding into the mattress, the view of him all fucked out and with his lips wrapped around your clit almost too much to bear.

“I-I´m going to, holy fuck- I´m going to cum”, you whined, tugging at his hair even harder. Your fingernails digging into his scalp.

Joe nodded against your heat, sucking your clit harder, rubbing your g-spot faster. There was no way you were going to be able to hold back. Your orgasm washed over you like tidal wave, almost knocking all the air out of your lungs. It felt like a rubber band snapped in your pussy, your walls clenching around his digits, clit twitching in Joe´s mouth.

He watched intently as you came down, fingers guiding your through your high.

“Oh my god you- shit it´s too much”, you half yelled, pulling his face away from your heat. Joe apologized, pressing a soft kiss to the inside of your thigh before retracting his fingers. He brought them to his lips and licked them clean, earning a groan from the bottom of your throat.

“That was so hot, Y/N”, Joe mumbled, looking down at how wet you were. How your clit was still twitching with aftershocks. His cock begging for attention.

“You´re good at that, Joe. Are you sure you haven´t done it before?”, you giggled, pulling him up to your face. His lips tasted faintly of your juices, his hard cock digging into your thigh.

“Positive”

“Are you sure you want to do this? We can stop here if it´s getting too much”, you said, running your fingers along his jaw.

“I really want to, Y/N. I´m so fucking hard again”, he half-wined.

“Hmm, I can feel that. Do you have any condoms?”

“Yeah hold on”, Joe said, scrambling out of the bed. He walked over to where his jeans were discarded and reached for his wallet. There was a deep flush covering his chest and face, his cock standing at full attention. Red and dripping with pre-cum.

“Shit”, he mumbled, reading the label of the condom he fished out. “It´s out of date”

Joe went bright red, desperately wishing he had just said he had none.

“God you´re so cute, Joe”, you giggled, making grabby hands at him, “I already know you´re a virgin, I´m not going to judge you. Besides, I´m clean so we can go without if you want to? If not, you´re going to have to run to the store”

“Really? Holy shit I want that”, Joe groaned, his cock twitching in anticipation. He made his way over to you, positioning himself between your legs again.

“Just slide in whenever you´re ready, and then let me adjust for a few seconds, ok?”, you asked, running your fingers up and down his arms to try and calm his nerves. Joe nodded, grabbing his cock and running it through your folds. You shuddered at the sensation.

He looked down as he pushed in, watching your pussy swallow him inch by inch. Your juices slicking him up and allowing him to slide in easily. He let out a loud groan as he bottomed you out, his head falling into your neck.

You tried to remain composed, knowing that you were the one who was supposed to be experienced, but it just felt so good. He filled you up just right, your walls clenching around him as you adjusted. Stretching you in a way that sent goosebumps over your entire skin, tingling with pleasure. You wrapped your arms around him, digging your nails into his fair skin.

“C-Can I move? I don´t know how much longer I can hold it”, Joe moaned, his hip stuttering slightly. The mere feeling of your walls contracting around him enough to push him right up to the edge.

“Y-yes”, you said, feeling Joe pull back the second the words left your mouth. He moaned into your neck as he pushed back inn, feeling your warm pussy engulfing him. The wetness creating an obnoxious sound, filling the room.

Joe´s back was sweaty and hot under your fingertips. He sped up slightly, his breathing increasing.

“A-are you close?”, you asked, wrapping your legs around his waist. It allowed him to go even deeper, Joe´s hips stuttering.

He nodded into your neck, not trusting his words. He made the mistake of looking down to see your wet pussy wrapped around his cock, causing a desperate yelp to leave his mouth.

“Slow down, Joe”, you said, wanting this to last longer even though you knew it wouldn´t. You wish you could spend the entire evening like this. Joe´s cock buried deep inside, nudging you towards your high with every thrust. Pleasure filling your entire body. 

“I-I”, he tried, whimpering, “I can´t hold it. I´m gonna cum”

You clenched around him, feeling his cock twitch inside. 

“Holy shit that doesn´t help, Y/N”, Joe moaned, closing his eyes as he tried to hold back. 

Joe was moaning into your neck, his hips moving against yours at a frantic pace. His balls felt heavy, your walls practically forcing his orgasm out of him.

“It´s ok, Joe. You can cum. Cum for me”, you urged, pushing him further inside with the heels of your feet.

Joe stilled as you pushed him over the edge, spurt after spurt of hot cum shooting out to coat your walls. He bit down on your shoulder, trying to conceal the high-pitched whine that wanted to leave his throat.

You stroked his back through his high, feeling his body go limp after he was done. He slumped down on your chest. His softening cock resting against your inner thigh, his cum sticky against your skin. Not to mention the puddle that was currently sliding out of your pussy.

“You´re not a virgin anymore”, you giggled, running your fingers through his hair. He giggled against his skin before pressing his lips to your neck.

“Thank you. Should I be thanking you? I feel like I´m high right now. That was so fucking good I can´t believe how amazing it was. You were so tight and so wet and so oh god I just loved it”, Joe mumbled. He pulled back and rested his chin on your chest, looking up at you. His hair matted to his forehead. His cheeks red.

“There´s no need to thank me. I wanted to Joe. Remember, I was the one who invited you over”

“Right.. did you cum too?”, he asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

You smiled, reaching down to move his hair out of his face.

“No, but it doesn´t matter. I wasn´t expecting too”, you said, completely honest.

“Was it that bad?”, Joe questioned, but the tone in his voice gave away the fact that he didn´t really want to know the answer.

“No”, you giggled, “I don´t have to cum for it to feel good. You did good. I´m not complaining”

“Oh ok. I can eat you out again if you want to?”, he suggested.

“Relax, Joe. We have the entire weekend. We can go again later”, you giggled. You leant down to press a quick kiss to his lips.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Let´s get cleaned up and watch another movie and if we still feel like it, we can go again”, you said with a smile.

“I´d like that”

“Good. Maybe this time you will warn me before shooting your cum down my throat”, you teased, pushing him off you and heading for the bathroom to get cleaned up.

“Hey! You told me it was fine”, he protested. You turned around to give him a wink before turning the corner. Joe did the next time. And the time after that.

Masterlist

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[writeyourownlifestory]

L I GH T S  U P

Chapters: 1/20 Fandom: IT Rating: M Warnings: No warnings at this time  Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Beverly Marsh/Ben Hanscom Additional Tags: PunkRocker!Eddie, Writer!Richie, Beveddie!Friendship, No Clown Written by: myself & @ahardlife Tag list: @richietoaster, @beproudtozier, @that-weird-girls-blog, @s-onora, @s-s-georgie, @bellarosewrites, @iamcupcakefrosting, @reddieonwheels, @bi-gemini1983

Puff piece writer Richie Tozier is given the chance of a lifetime to interview his celebrity crush: Dr. K, the lead singer of punk rock band, Trashmouth. Dr. K is about to release his first solo album and Richie wants to get all the dirty details. But all is not what it appears to be and the two realize they know each other from a different time, in a different place, when they were both very different people.

One: Cruel To Be Kind: Nick Lowe

Oh I can't take another heartache Though you say you're my friend, I'm at my wit's end You say your love is bonafide, but that don't coincide With the things that you do And when I ask you to be nice, you say

You've gotta be cruel to be kind, in the right measure Cruel to be kind, it's a very good sign Cruel to be kind, means that I love you, baby (You've gotta be cruel) You gotta be cruel to be kind

Richie Tozier didn’t know what he wanted to do with his life.

That wasn’t a very unique statement but Richie wasn’t a very unique person. An average guy who was as blind as a bat, born in bumblefuck nowhere and eventually making it out of there and into the big wild city, making a living working at a big-name magazine.

Okay, the last part was pretty impressive, but he didn’t actually work very hard for that job.

He used to dream of writing comedy. Of telling jokes or writing for amazing shows like Saturday Night Life or something on Comedy Central. He wanted to be a comedian. To make people laugh. Sure, he is seen as the funny guy around the watering tank, but thats just because the rest of the people he worked with were a bunch of yuppies with impressive college degrees and no real personalities. They’re no better than the robots who work for Buzzfeed.

They had paperback covers and an app for people who didn’t want to go to the store to buy an actual copy. They had their own YouTube channel that hit millions of hits thanks to interviews and other shit that Richie took part in.

When Bill decided he wanted to make this into a real thing, he wanted it to make some sense. It wasn’t some balls to the ball insanity mag that people read for juicy gossip. It was real. The people who subscribed were real and the people featured in it were real.

Richie’s writing, not so much.

He mostly did puff pieces. Little things that didn’t take a lot of effort but were mostly filler in between the larger stories. It was something Bill had done for them after the magazine got big. You see, he and Bill had been buddies in college. Both young and naive about the world. Neither really knew what they wanted, but they had dreams and that was all that mattered back then.

It was Bill that had the real talent with writing and despite publishers being interested, he never took into account just how much time, effort, and money went into getting a book published. Richie, always believing in his best friend, decided to give him all the cash he had saved up for spring break so he would make the first move on getting his novel out.

He didn’t mind much as he found that he could eat, sleep, and drink on the couch the same way he could out on the beach.  

That novel ended up being a best seller and skyrocketed Bill’s career. Bill always remembered that, so when his second and third books became such a thrill, he decided to take the chance and create a magazine and brought Richie along for the ride.

It was easy work and he made good money for doing very little, but he found that was the main cause of his quarter-life crisis. He wanted so much more than he had been given that Richie was actually feeling guilty for wanting more.

He had done stand up in the city and even took an improv class, but nothing seemed to stick to him. Now he was over thirty and found himself in a rut. He lived alone in a small apartment filled with things he didn’t need but purchased because he thought they would bring out a sense of excitement.

He was single, though that was a whole nother issue as it took Richie an embarrassingly long time to come to terms with his own sexuality. Growing up in a small town where people were cruel and the world didn’t understand left marks on an impressionable kid. It wasn’t until he was halfway through college that he did anything with a guy and well-passed gradation that he realized that it was more than okay to be gay, it was normal.

So yeah, he was open and fine with it, but still lonely as hell. He had been with people in the past, but he found that he mostly just shut himself off from the world. He wasn’t happy about anything anymore and it seemed the only thing that got him by was that ending it all would have proved his teenage bullies right; that he was better off dead.

And if there was anything Richie wanted to live for, it was spite.

And also music.

Despite not being musically inclined at all, Richie loved music with all his heart. He spent a good portion of his time listening to records as a kid. He used to go around carrying a walkman and CD player and Zune throughout his life. He paid for the mom's gigs on his phone because he needed to have all his favorite songs ready to blast at the tap of a finger.

While they already had a guy that wrote specifically about music for the magazine, he had always been able to sweet talk Bill into allowing him to have a few moments to shine and write something about some artist. Those were the pieces that really mattered to him. The ones that gave Richie the chance to dive deep into the thing he loved.

Sure, he had written a whole expose on Street Fighter and perhaps he did make a big deal out of the Star Wars franchise, but it was the moments when Richie could reel back and listen before writing that got him going.

They rarely did full-length articles on performers as the magazine was something of a clusterfuck of topics. Bill Denbrough never wanted to settle on just one thing. Paper Boat was more than just one specific topic. It was everything and they would be damned if they ever settled on its something.

But of course, now and then something would come along and the whole team would be scrambling to put together a magazine dedicated to that one specific person. It wasn’t always a celebrity. Bill meant what he said when he wanted to keep the magazine aimed at the everyday people.

Their biggest seller to date had been when they put out issues all about Ben Hanscom the architect. Richie had no idea why anybody would want to read about the guy other than to enjoy the pictures that were taken of him, but low and behold, the world wanted to know.

As it turned out, Ben was a decent human being who just wanted to make the world a better place and he also happened to be extremely hot while doing it. Who knew that was possible!

The physical copies sold out everywhere and the website crashed thanks to all the promotions they did on it. Like, what the actual fuck?

Bill was that good at what he did and it also helped that he was writing his books on the side. He had people from all over coming through wanting to see what they could do and it only proved to be more impressive as time went on.

Now the magazine needed something new, something fresh and it seemed Bill had it all planned out.

“Here at Paper Boat, we don’t choose a good looking celebrity because we want to make money. You know, I’m not going to call up Jennifer Aniston and ask her to do me a favor -- I could, but I won’t -- because that isn’t what we do here.” Bill explained as they went over the board meeting for the next issue. “The people featured on our cover are interesting. People who want to bring the world together and make a change. Or maybe they’re just batshit insane and look good while doing it. Who knows.”

A small array of laughter came over the place. Richie leaned back in his chair, half paying attention. He knew how these things went. Bill made a big, exciting speech before revealing who or what they’d be focusing on. The assignments would be passed around and Richie would be given something soft and fun.

He got the dumb shit that got the people who didn’t want to read involved. Sometimes he’d do interviews while vlogging. They’d try food they never tried before or do something stupid. One of the most interesting had been when he got assigned to interview Kristen Wiig while bobbing for apples. Certainly interesting and the flow to the website was wonderful.

Richie was the writer they went to when they wanted it to seem kitsch and gimmicky. Enough for it to garner actual attention, but nothing worth anybody's time.

He tossed his stress ball up in the air, catching it as it followed the natural path and came back down. He got bored easily as meetings like this and he waited for Bill to just get on with it and assign everybody their respected jobs.

Bill hit a button on his computer, revealing a picture that Richie was all too familiar with. It was of a punk rock band that he had followed since he graduated from college. Trashmouth was one of the greatest bands that had ever come into Richie’s life. They were like if Queen and the Ramones were put together, had a baby, and then that baby had a baby with Green Day: that weirdly insane combination would be Trashmouth.

There were five members, but the main focus was and always had been the lead singer and guitarist Dr. K. Nobody knew why he went by that nor did he ever give an answer. Richie had googled him a couple of times, wanting to find out more, but the guy was a fucking mystery. It was like he just appeared on the scene, completely out of his mind with cut off sleeves and steller vocals.

It was safe to say Richie had a big gay crush on Dr. K.

And that was fine because Dr. K was just as gay.

He had never been seen with anybody, always choosing to keep his personal life private, but his songs were obvious enough even if most of them seemed pretty genderless. He had done one interview where the person asking the questions kept using the term ‘she’ or ‘her’ until finally, the guy replied that he writes songs about guys.

That took the world by fucking storm and Richie Tozier had never been the same.

“Some of you may be familiar with Trashmouth. Multiple Grammy noms and wins. Always in the top 40 listings despite repeatedly being told that punk rock was dead.”

“Please tell me we’re going to be featuring the band,” Mike, the music specialist for the magazine, piped up eagerly.

“I can’t because we won’t,” Bill replied. “Our focus is on him.” Bill hit another button and a solo picture of Dr. K popped up.

Richie’s mouth was watering and he sat up straight. He had the same picture in a small poster in his apartment. It was set up alongside some other pictures in what he called his “Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Wall” because he was just that big of a fan. He looked at it often, always finding himself thankful for all the music that had been created and got him through some pretty dark days as a kid.

Did it also help that Dr. K was incredibly attractive and gave Richie a little bit of encouragement just by looking so good? Yes, yes it did.

“It seems Dr. K will be going off on his own. My sources tell me he’ll be putting out a solo album by the end of the year and I want to know everything about it. Mikey, that’s your job. Speak to whoever you have to to find out what is going to be on that album. Audra, speak to the rest of the band, find out how they feel about the ending of an era. Georgie, get your camera ready because we’re doing a photo shoot with him in three days.”

“Who is doing the main exposé?” Greta asked, popping her gum as she spoke.

Bill smirked, turning back to his computer. “I’ll pick someone later. For now, you’re all dismissed.”

The group got up from their chairs and left Bill’s office. All except for Richie, who was too fucking flabbergasted to do a damn thing. As Bill began to head out, he finally scrambled to his feet to follow him. His long legs led him there quickly, though he mostly sidestepped around his coworkers to finally reach their boss.

“Bill! Big Bill! Wait up.” He called, following him to the elevator.

“What's up, Rich? I’m about to head out for lunch.” Bill said, turning to face him. “You hungry? We could check out that new sandwich place that opened across the way.

“Oh, no. I’m time. Stuffed.” Richie patted his stomach lamely, offering a large smile to his friend and boss. “Hey! So, just checking in to see about that latest pitch.”

“Oh right,” Bill paused, hitting the elevator button. “You were a fan of that band, right? Oof. Sorry about the breakup buddy. Haven’t you seen them like six times?”

“It’s sixteen, but that’s not important right now.” Richie corrected. “Bill. Buddy. You have to listen to me.”

“You got it, Rich.”

“I know you only trust me with the puff pieces because I’m not as talented as Mike or even Greta, but I need you to trust me on this.”

“You can do the exposé, Rich.”

“I have gotten better over time and I swear, if you just give me the chance, I promise. I won’t do a single embarrassing voice or anything to get Paper Boat blacklisted.”

“I’m sure you’ll embarrass yourself in one way or another, but that’s your issue. You have two days.”

“Until what?”

“Until your interview with Dr. K,” Bill said, stepping into the elevator as the doors opened. “If you’d stopped rambling you would have heard me tell you that you’re going to be the one doing the expose. You’ll be meeting him in two days, so you better come up with some good questions.”

“Holy shit,” Richie muttered.

“Holy shit, indeed Tozier,” Bill smirked. “I know you’ve been in some sort of funk lately, so I hope that this will shake you up a bit. Better keep your fanboy boner under control.” Bill warned, smiling as the elevator doors closed between them.

Whether Richie realized it or not, Bill believed in him and his writing ability. He may not have the raw talent like himself, but he knew what Richie was capable of. He has a way with people that allowed them to loosen up and relax and nothing was better for a good interview than someone comfortable with the person asking the questions.

Bill couldn’t think of a single person who would be better for this specific project and having Richie be an uber-fan of the artist was just a bonus. If Richie made an ass of himself, that would be his problem, not the magazines.

Richie stood there, not knowing what to do next. He looked to his watch, realizing he had less than 72 hours to come up with a buttload of questions for his idol. He ran back to his cubby to brainstorm.

[gwentoryfics]

Hot For Teacher, Part 5.

Genre | College Student x College Professor Smut AU

Pairing | Hongseok x Reader x Hyunggu (Kino)

Words | 10.8k

Summary | You never realized how much one drunken night could color the rest of your college experience until you discover that the handsome stranger from your cousin’s wedding is also the new professor at your university.

Warnings | Cursing. Underage drinking. The usual. Oh, and some fingering.

Parts | 1 • 2 • 3 • 4 • 5 • 5.5 • 6 • More Coming Soon AO3   | 1 • 2

Playlist | Spotify • Youtube

Note | I DID IT. IT’S WRITTEN. HERE IT IS. Please enjoy 💕 I’ll get the YouTube playlist posted later - I don’t have time to get that one put together. Have to head out for a Mother’s Day dinner lol.

As much as you don’t really want to confront Professor Yang about your incorrect grade, you know that it’s something you need to take care of. But as if Professor Yang could sense the confrontation coming, he takes off immediately after class ends, quickly packing up his things and hurrying out the door before you can even make it to the front of the room.

In the back of your mind you can’t help but wonder… is there any chance that all of this is intentional? Did he give you the wrong grade knowing that you would come talk to him about it? Did he leave immediately so that you’d be forced to visit him one-on-one in his office again?

Does he just want to get you alone again?

NOPE. Bad idea. You push that thought as far away as you can, forcing yourself to pause that train of thought. You can’t even let yourself consider the possibility that he might want that. Absolutely not allowed.

If there’s a chance that that’s what he wants, you can’t buy into it. You have to be strong for yourself.

So it’s decided. You are not going to visit him this week. You’re going to let this one go. You’ve received his message, but you’re not going to give him what he wants.

Wooseok shows up for tutoring late as always, but this time it’s different. You can tell immediately that he’s bothered by something.

“Hey,” you greet him softly, and he responds with nothing more than a nod. He’s silent as he gets ready for the session, and you don’t push him to talk. You’re assuming that it must be because of the whole party bust, and you also don’t know if you’re good enough friends for him to feel comfortable opening up to you about it.

The session is really difficult for him. He’s clearly not focused, so you call it quits early. You don’t want to push him because he’s only getting more and more frustrated. By the time you’re wrapping up, you feel like you should really try to talk with him about what’s going on - regardless of how close you may or may not be.

“Yuto told me about your extracurricular suspension,” you offer as a starting point.

“Ah, he did?”

“Yeah, at R&B Ensemble. It really sucks.”

“It’s only two more weeks, thank God.” Wooseok throws his folders and pencils into his backpack. “Any longer and I think Typhanie would start looking for a replacement drummer. I’m already putting the rest of the ensemble in a rough spot since we’ve got the showcase coming up next month.”

“Yeah, but it’s okay. Shit happens, you know? You’re a talented drummer, I’m sure you’ll catch up with the group in no time.”

“You think I’m talented?” Wooseok looks up from the floor, his wide eyes searching yours. Your heart goes out to him - he seems so beaten down.

“Of course,” you reassure him. “You’re so creative when you play, and you’re always spot-on when it comes to tempo. You’re like a living, breathing metronome. It’s insane.”

For a moment, he doesn’t say anything. He just watches you, thinking. And then he opens up. “I feel like I’ve really been struggling here. I love drumming more than anything I’ve ever done, but my classes are so hard. This music theory shit makes me feel like an idiot.” Wooseok throws himself back into his chair, brow furrowed.

You hadn’t really expected this to turn into a therapy session, but you want to try to help him feel better if you can. “You don’t have to be amazing at theory to be a great musician. I’m sure there are a lot of people out there who can really easily understand theory, but will never understand how to put heart into their performance.”

“Well what about you? You’re good at, like, everything.”

“No, don’t do that. You can’t compare yourself to others. We’re all at different places, you know?”

“Weren’t you just comparing me against theory nerds?”

You take a deep breath. “I guess I did. But that’s not the point. My point is that you’re good at what you’re good at. Stressing about what other people are good at is a waste of time. That’s not going to make you any better at theory.

“Ultimately, the most important thing is that you’re doing what you love. I know you need to pass your classes to get your degree, but once you have that degree? The numbers and letters on your transcript are entirely arbitrary. So just be the best damn drummer you can be. Whatever you lack in ability to read chords and pitches, make up for with your intricate rhythms and flawless tempo.”

Wooseok nods, his gaze trained on the floor. And slowly, a smile forms on his lips. “I can do that.”

You nod, and you’re glad to see that something about him seems lighter now. Like you are really able to lift his spirits.

Wooseok really is something. He acts like such a light-hearted cool kid all the time, waving his drumsticks around and cracking wise-ass jokes. He’s always the one clowning around.

Now you see that there’s something a bit more intense underneath all of those layers of positivity. Sure, he can be serious sometimes, but this is something different. You can tell that there’s part of him that is deeply affected by all of this. He’s human, of course. He can’t be upbeat all the time. Getting to see him when he’s a little more vulnerable, a little more genuine… it really makes you feel like you’ve made a connection with him.

Maybe there is a friendship in store for you after all.

“I can’t believe you’ve never been to Ahjoomah’s Kitchen before.” Kino shakes his head at you as he flips the slices of meat laid out across the tabletop grill at the restaurant. “Trust me, once you get your first bite, you’re going to be disappointed that you’ve been missing out on the best Korean barbecue in the whole city.”

“I just didn’t know about it!” You chuckle defensively. “I don’t come down this way often.”

When Kino had invited you to hang out over the weekend, you hadn’t realized that he’d be dragging you all the way to Chinatown, nestled deeply in the city’s south side. But Kino’s from the south side, so he knows his way around. You trust his judgment - he won’t get you into any dangerous situations.

“Your loss,” he raises an eyebrow and reaches for the radish kimchi. “Be sure to get some of this before I eat all of it, by the way.”

“You can have it, be my guest. I’m strictly a cabbage kimchi kind of girl.”

His chopsticks pause mid-air as he looks up at you with fake disgust. “What kind of monster are you? Is that what they teach you on the farm?”

“I could say the same about you, you city-slicker.” You grab yourself some of the pickled seaweed and cabbage kimchi. “Will you eat any kind of kimchi?”

“Don’t start acting like I’m some kind of kimchi dumpster.” He tries to maintain a serious expression, but a laugh sneaks out. “I’ll make sure all of your meat gets burnt.”

You gasp dramatically. “You wouldn’t!”

“Oh, but I would.” Kino peeks down at the grilling meat, which is seconds away from being finished. “Yeah, I’d say it could use a few more minutes.”

“A few minutes? You’re going to burn this whole place down.” You grab the tongs to claim the perfectly cooked meat for yourself before Kino could ruin it.

The both of you laugh as you dish out the meat and get the next round onto the grill. And he’s right - the barbecue is absolutely delicious. Possibly the best you’ve had in a while.

As you eat, he tells you all about his family, and how he grew up the one son of many daughters - all younger than him. The youngest is a whopping twelve years younger than him - she just started first grade.

“That’s actually insane,” you comment, in awe over the sheer size of his family.

“My parents just don’t know when to quit.”

“My parents would be so jealous. They weren’t able to conceive again after me.”

“That’s awful, I’m so sorry.”

“No, it’s okay. It was kind of nice growing up just me and my brother. Our little family was perfect, actually, until my brother moved out.”

“What happened?”

“He graduated high school and then he disappeared.” You frown a little. You haven’t spoken with your brother in years, mainly because you don’t know how to contact him or find him. “He didn’t want to take over the farm, so he left. Didn’t tell any of us where he was going. I haven’t seen him since I was in middle school.”

“Were you close?”

You pick at the food sitting on your plate. “I thought we were.”

Kino places a freshly grilled piece of meat in front of you, encouraging you to eat. He’s watching you warmly, like you’re a sick puppy he wants to take care of. It’s sweet, but you don’t need his pity.

You roll your eyes and force a laugh. “It’s old news, anyway. Nearly ten years have passed and I’ve accepted the way things are now. But anyway, that’s why my parents want me to succeed so badly. I’m their only chance at a successful kid.”

“I can relate, as the only son.”

It feels so good to have someone here that can understand you so deeply in that regard, even if your family situations are different. Shinhye’s parents don’t put any kind of pressure on her about anything, and Nailah’s parents pretty much disowned her when she came out, which is it’s own brand of terrible. Both girls were super supportive of you and they always did their best to give you advice when you were struggling under the weight of your parents’ expectations. But they couldn’t quite understand you the way Kino could.

You smile, genuinely feeling placated. He’s just so peaceful to be around. As you stuff another strip of meat into your mouth, you groan, delighted. “You’re right, by the way. This place is the bomb.”

“Told you so.” His lips curl up into a smirk.

The mood stays light as you finish your meal, stuffing yourselves to the brim with the delicious meats and side dishes. Then when everything is paid for (Kino insists on taking care of the bill, much to your chagrin), you head off through Chinatown to your next destination - karaoke.

You had tried to warn him that you’re not much of a singer, but he said it doesn’t matter - half the fun of karaoke is just singing without any regard for how good you actually are. It’s therapeutic, he had said.

And so you find yourself holed up in a private room with Kino, who sings absolutely gorgeously all night, by the way. You feel like an idiot every time you take the microphone and warble a shitty rendition of Etta James or Ella Fitzgerald.

“Why do you keep picking such old songs?” Kino asks as you pass him the microphone, eyes already geared on the screen to choose his next solo.

“That’s what I like.”

“Lucky for you that’s what I like, that’s what I like…” Kino quietly sings a bit of Bruno in response as he scrolls through the song choices. “Oh, hey! We should do a duet! You know Elton John, right?”

You look up from your glass of water to see Don’t Go Breaking My Heart by Elton John highlighted on the TV screen. “You want me to actually sing with you and your angel voice? Nuh uh, I don’t think so.”

“Oh come on, it’ll be fun.” He selects the song and picks up the second microphone, holding it out to you. “Please?”

The music intro starts up and you sigh dramatically. This is going to be a shitshow, but how could you say no when he’s looking at you with that little pout? “Fine. But can you tone down the professional singing a bit so I don’t feel so self-conscious?”

“Don’t feel self-conscious, you’re doing fine.” He smiles at you before lifting the microphone to his lips. “Don’t go breaking my heart.”

Reluctantly, you do the same. “I couldn’t if I tried.”

“Oh, honey, if I get restless…”

“Baby, you’re not that kind.”

The lyrics bounce back and forth between the two of you, and he’s looking at you more than he’s looking at the screen, trying to make sure that you’re enjoying yourself. He overacts the whole time he’s singing, being intentionally goofy to get you to laugh. It works.

“Kino, I’m trying to sing. Stop distracting me.”

“_____, I’m trying to have fun. Stop being a fun sponge.” He jumps to stand behind you, grabbing your shoulder and popping out from behind you as he sings, “Ooo, ooo. Nobody knows it. When I was down...”

You strike a pose and look back at him, finally letting yourself join in on his antics. “I was your clown.”

He dissolves into a fit of giggles and misses the next few lines. Damn, this boy is truly a ray of sunshine. You laugh along with him, and you both goof off for the rest of the song.

By the time you get to the outro (which takes up literally the last full minute of the song), he’s holding your hand and you’re both jumping around like a bunch of goons, completely out of breath and pretty much just squawking.

“Don’t go breaking my heart,” he sings over and over.

“I won’t go breaking your heart,” you continuously respond.

After Lord-knows how many repetitions of that, the song finally fades out to a close, and you both just stare at each other.

“Why the hell is that song so long?” You ask him, completely out of breath.

He cracks a huge smile, “Who the hell knows.”

And then he throws his arms around you, laughing brightly and pulling you into a tight hug. He’s warm and just a little sweaty, but honestly his shirt smells amazing and he’s so soft and every inch of you burns with the sweetest, most delicate flames. His laughter fills you, and you don’t have a single care in the world.

If only you could just stay that way forever.

Come Tuesday morning, you’re thrown headfirst back into reality, a frown laying heavy on your lips as you look down at your assignment.

“What’s that look for? You got an A.” Shinhye asked, confused at why you seem so clearly upset.

“My grade is wrong again,” you grumble. You could have convinced yourself that the first time was just an honest mistake, and not a secret ploy to get you into his office. But twice in a row? It’s no coincidence that Mr. Physics And Math Whiz can’t manage to do the simple math required to accurately add up your points.

This time, you have no choice. You really need to talk to him.

Class wraps up and he looks like he’s getting ready to bolt like he did last week. You spit out a quick wait outside for me at Shinhye before dashing to the front of the room in an attempt to grab his attention.

Professor Yang looks up as you approach, and his face remains neutral. “Yes?”

“Do you have a minute to talk about my grade? You made a mistake.” You look over your shoulder and watch as the last remaining students duck out the door, Shinhye included. You lower your voice a smidge to ensure no one overhears you. “Last week’s assignment was graded incorrectly, too.”

“I don’t have time to chat right now. I have an appointment with another student.”

For some reason, he doesn’t seem guarded as he speaks with you. There’s no edge to his voice. It catches you off guard - you hadn’t anticipated that there would ever come a time when he’d speak with you so casually.

He continues. “You can make an appointment with me later in the week if it’s an issue. Or you could just show up unannounced the way you do.”

Professor Yang looks up at you briefly, one eyebrow raised in a way that is both playful and accusatory. Is he actually teasing you? And willingly drawing attention to the time you caught him listening to your sex music? All of the blood that should be fueling your brain suddenly relocates to your cheeks and chest, making your skin warm and visibly flushed.

You’re right, then. He really is just trying to get you to visit him.

He stands with his bag in hand, ready to leave, but he pauses when he finally notices your flustered state. His playful expression dissipates as he observes you. You wish with everything in you that you could read his mind, that you could know what he’s thinking when he looks at you that way.

Then again, if there is any chance that he’s still as fatally attracted to you as you are to him, it’s probably best that you don’t know about it. It would be far too tempting to you, and you might actually convince yourself to act on your urges - your honor be damned.

Finally, he releases you from his gripping gaze and heads for the door. His voice floats over his shoulder, perfectly neutral as he makes a final suggestion. “Make an appointment.”

You chew your bottom lip as you watch him leave, disappointed in yourself for so easily turning into a helpless school girl. It’s absolutely unfair that he could have such an effect on you.

More than a little disgruntled, you meet Shinhye out in the hall and inform her that you’ll have to make an appointment with him later in the week.

“Busy guy, I guess. Midterms are approaching, after all.” Shinhye easily shrugs it off before changing the subject. “Ready to grab some lunch?”

You nod, thankful for a change of pace. “Yeah. Let’s get going.”

The two of you meet Nailah at the Indian restaurant down the street from your dorms, and you settle in for some of the best curry in town. You’ve eaten here multiple times with Shinhye, but it’s only recently that Nailah has started joining you. Ever since you brought them together for Nailah’s film project, the three of you have started spending more time together.

You dig into the naan, and peek over at Nailah, who’s sitting next to you. “How was your workout? You’re absolutely glowing,” you tease her, even though you recognize that she somehow manages to make a sweaty sheen look stunning.

“Sweetie, I’m well aware that this isn’t the look. I just stuck around too long and didn’t have time to shower before meeting you two.” She raises her eyebrows disapprovingly at your comment, but you know she’s smiling inside. “And it was great, thank you for asking.”

“No distraction this time?” Shinhye asks, stuffing naan into her mouth.

“Nope, he wasn’t around today.”

You don’t remember hearing anything about a distraction, and you wonder what’s up. “What are you talking about?”

“Hot guy.” Shinhye giggles.

Nailah cracks a smile. “Don’t get me wrong, I am still very much a lesbian. But trust me, I can appreciate a gorgeous looking man when I see one.”

Shinhye leans in. “Apparently everyone oggles him every time he’s there. Nailah included.”

“You would too, if you ever saw him!”

“And he might be a student here, because she’s seen him around campus a few times, too.” Shinhye continues to dish, and you get the impression that she’s been chatting with Nailah a lot more than you originally thought.

You laugh and say to Nailah, “Maybe you should get to know him. Set him up with Shinhye. She could probably use a little man love in her life, yeah?”

Shinhye’s mouth forms a line. “I don’t need a man, thank you.”

“What about you?” Nailah nudges you with her elbow. “You never talk about boys - or girls, whatever you’re into. Maybe you could use a little someone.”

Before you can defend yourself, Shinhye speaks up again. “If she’s going to get with anyone, it should be that tall guy from the party the other week. He’s super cute.”

You think back to the party and immediately remember hiding in a closet with Yuto. Some of your memories from that night had resurfaced, including your thoughts about how beautiful he may or may not be. The thing is, you still think he’s good-looking even without your booze goggles. “Yuto?”

Shinhye shrugs. “I don’t remember his name. I think you said he’s a drummer.”

“Oh, Wooseok!” That’s right - Shinhye and Nailah had taken off before you ran into Yuto, so they haven’t even met him. You shake your head. “No, we’re just friends. I think. I mean, I think that we’re friends, maybe. We may not actually be friends. I guess I don’t really know him all that well.”

Nailah chimes in. “Shinhye’s right, though, he was really cute. And he seemed like he could be into you. Remember how excited he was to see you?”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” You brush off their comments, but you sense a few crumbs lingering in your thoughts. He is kind of attractive…

“And even if you’re not looking for anything serious right now, that doesn’t have to stop you from having fun, right?” Nailah waggles her eyebrows at you.

“Nailah, not everyone has loose morals like you.” Shinhye teases, which earns her a rueful look from Nailah.

“Okay, when did you two become such close friends?” You hate the bitter taste of the words in your mouth. Something about the way they interact seems strange to you. You just didn’t expect them to seem so close. Shinhye doesn’t easily get to the point where she’s playful and teasing around people, so Nailah must have grown on her pretty quickly.

“I’m pretty insistent on making talented people my friends. You have to hear the music she wrote for my project.”

“Nailah, it’s just a first draft. It’s not even that good.”

“No, it’s really good. And you need to give yourself credit.” The two of them share a meaningful look before Nailah continues. “Basically, she blew me away with her music and I decided that we need to be good friends so I can convince her to work on all of my stuff.”

“I didn’t really have much choice.” Shinhye laughs.

You’re glad to see that they’re getting along so well, even if it makes you feel just a touch uneasy. Maybe you’re just feeling jealous? Or excluded? Whatever it is, you’re being territorial and it’s dumb. So you push the feeling away. “I’m glad that you were able to work so well together.”

“Yeah, I really owe you!” Nailah responds. “I wouldn’t have gotten in touch with her if it hadn’t been for you.”

“What else am I good for?” You mutter rhetorically, hoping the sentiment didn’t come out as bitter as it felt.

Shinhye seems to notice your attitude, and she sucks air through her teeth. “Actually, we only invited you along to pay the bill…”

For only a second, you’re shocked - and then you realize she’s joking. “Oh my God, shut up, Shinhye.”

The three of you burst into laughter, and you think that maybe it won’t be such a bad thing for the three of you to hang out more.

You scurry up the stairs in the math and science building, borderline peeved that Professor Yang’s only available appointment time is right after your piano lesson (ten blocks away). He insisted he had no other time available this week. So here you are, huffing and puffing and probably a little sweaty, but still trying your best to look like you’re not huffing and puffing and probably a little sweaty.

Yes, you actually put thought into your outfit. Yes, you actually put on some makeup this morning. Yes, you actually made sure each hair on your head was laying perfectly.

And yes, you refuse to acknowledge that it’s all because you want him to think you’re cute.

You make your way down the hall, and his door comes into view. You wonder passively if you beat him to the office again, if you’ll have to wait for him.

As you get close, you hear a sound coming from the door. But this time it’s not music.

It’s laughter.

Distinctly female laughter.

And then the door opens, and little Miss Legs with her gorgeous, shiny hair struts out from his office. Professor Yang is close behind her, a wide smile on his face as he laughs at whatever just transpired between them.

Who the hell is she?

Your stomach twists into an impossibly complex knot as you watch Professor Yang watch Gorgeous Woman turn the corner.

Why is he looking at her like that?

And why do you care so much?

You don’t realize that you’ve completely frozen in place until he looks in your direction, his expression suddenly rearranging into something less pleasant, his smile completely fading into a flat line.

There isn’t a single coherent thought tearing through your mind besides run. Your fight or flight response kicks in even though there’s no real danger, and the shattering of your heart begs you to leave so you can try to stop imagining how that woman must have been flirting with him, and he must have been flirting back, and are they an item? Is he seeing someone?

Why the hell does it matter?

He finally puts two and two together, and realizes why you’re staring at him so dumbfounded. His eyes widen, his hand reaches out to you. “_____…”

It doesn’t matter how beautiful his voice sounds as it wraps around your name. He can’t stop you from darting to the stairs and bolting out of that goddamned building.

It shouldn’t be so much of a surprise. There’s nothing stopping him from seeing other people. You literally hooked up with him once, and that was months ago. That’s the extent of your relationship with him.

But when you think about him screwing that bubbly bitch the way he screwed you, you feel sick to your stomach.

And maybe there’s nothing between the two of them. You only saw a second of their interaction, and you have no idea who she is to him. But of course you can only assume the worst. They have to be fucking at the very least - they’re both God-tier gorgeous, they’re practically meant for each other.

A sharp pain works its way through your chest. She’s a thousand times prettier than you, no doubt about it. There’s no way he could ever be attracted to you when there’s someone like her in his life.

But he shouldn’t be attracted to you, and you shouldn’t be attracted to him!

You want to scream - you’re so torn between what you’re actually feeling and what you should be feeling, what you do want and what you should want.

You feel hurt, jealous, betrayed.

You should feel nothing at all.

You want him.

You should want nothing to do with him.

The bottom line is that you know you need to stop doing this to yourself. You need to stop whatever kind of feelings you have towards him so you can freaking move on with your life instead of constantly feeling so wrapped up in him. You could fawn over him forever, but the bottom line is you will never be with him again.

You need to stop wishing that there might be a chance.

Kino surprises you Monday night by waiting for you outside of your dorm building before R&B Ensemble. He’s bundled up in his jacket, with a beanie on his head and a scarf around his neck. It’s October, so it’s definitely chilly outside, but he looks like he’s more than ready for winter. You hold back a laugh when you see him.

“Howdy, partner.” Kino greets you with a buttery southern twang. It’s not the first time he’s done this, and you roll your eyes at him.

“Quit it with the accent already!” You scold him playfully. “I grew up on a farm, not the deep south.”

He laughs as you start walking in the direction of the music building. “You are from south of here, though.”

“So are you, technically.”

“Hardly!”

You stop mid-step and turn around to face him, gesturing wildly to his person. “Okay but who’s acting more like a southerner here? Do you see what you’re wearing? It’s like you’ve never experienced the cold before.”

“Shut up,” he laughs, bumping into you as he passes by. “I’m keeping my throat warm for practice.”

“You’re such a dork.” You hurry to catch up to him.

You’ve really grown close to Kino quickly. You see him literally every day of the week because you’re in so many of the same classes together, and you frequently go out to grab snacks and coffee in between. (Well coffee for you, hot chocolate for Kino. He says coffee is too bitter.)

He teases you constantly, and you’re not afraid to give it right back to him. But he’s also become your study buddy, and he does a great job helping you with your aural skills assignments. The class requires you to be able to sing different variations of scales on-pitch, and you’re already not great with singing correct pitches to begin with. With his help, you’re getting more and more comfortable with it - even if you’re still kind of shitty.

“What are you up to this Saturday?” You ask. “I’m kind of in the mood for some more of that Korean barbecue. And I could be convinced to do some more karaoke.”

“Well obviously I’m going to be getting some Korean barbecue and doing some karaoke, then. Right?”

“I thought you might say that.”

Kino holds the door to the music building open, allowing you to pass through. “M’lady.”

“What a sweet, southern gentleman,” you drawl.

“The south side is not southern!”

“You started it! Don’t try to fight me about this.”

You’ve decided after all of the nonsense with Professor Yang, you don’t care enough about the couple of extra points. Obviously if he’s seeing someone else he’s not trying to win you over by boosting your grades. He’s just actually a fucking idiot who can’t count.

Midterms are coming up right around the corner, and that means it’s almost time for the workshop half of the semester to begin. As you’re all working on this week’s lab, Professor Yang calls each student to the front of the class individually to chat about what instrument they want to build.

Shinhye goes up before you - she wants to build a miniature marimba. You thought about doing the same, since it would be easy for you to play with your piano background, but you decided a little while ago that you’re interested in building a dulcimer. It could be a fun challenge for you.

Then it’s your turn. You don’t bother to put on a fake smile as you approach the front of the room, and he seems to be all business as well. You take a seat across from him.

“So.” He starts with a casual tone. “What are your thoughts for your final project?”

“Appalachian dulcimer,” you respond bluntly. He cocks his head, noticing your attitude.

“Alright.” He makes note of your choice on the pad of paper in front of him. “Have you looked into some different body shapes?”

“I want to do an hourglass shape.” You try not to stare him down. You don’t want to make a scene, no matter how bothered you feel. “With diamond shaped sound holes.”

He scribbles, eyes trained on the paper in front of him as he speaks. “We can definitely do the hourglass shape, although bending the wood is a little time consuming. Not impossible, though.”

“That’s fine.”

Setting his pen down, he finally looks up at you. You hold his gaze. His blank expression is impossible to read, and you try to keep yours as neutral as possible.

“Should we discuss your grade?”

“Nothing to discuss, really. Just make sure you count my points correctly next time.” You stand. “Is that all you needed?”

Professor Yang sits back, chewing the inside of his cheek. “Yes. Send up the next student, please.”

“My pleasure.”

As you clomp back to Shinhye, you fix a smile onto your face and let the kid next to you know that it’s his turn. You plop back into your seat, and focus one-thousand percent on finishing your lab so that you can keep your mind off of Professor Yang as long as possible.

You bury your hands deeply into your jacket pockets as you make your way up the stairs to the designated rehearsal room, feeling way too nervous for something that really isn’t even a big deal.

Changgu, the boy from the reception desk, had invited you to tonight’s Jazz Band rehearsal. When he mentioned it to you in person you thought it would be fun, but you didn’t actually expect to get an invitation. You figured he would probably forget, or if he tried he probably wouldn’t get permission. But then he called you, and now it’s really happening.

You open the door, hoping to all that is Holy that Changgu is already there so you don’t have to wait awkwardly - and thank the Lord, he’s sitting at the piano. He looks up as you enter and waves you over, a bright smile on his face.

“Hi, ____.” He greets you as you approach. “I’m so glad you could make it.”

“Thank you so much for inviting me!” You try not to gush, telling yourself that you have to stay cool. “I seriously appreciate it. I’m looking forward to watching and listening.”

“No problem.” He looks over toward the door again as the director makes his entrance, and Changgu stands. “Let me introduce you to Corbin, yeah?”

You nod and follow him towards the front of the room. Just be cool.

The director notices the two of you walking forward. “Is this our guest?” He asks, smiling broadly as he tugs off his jacket.

“Yes, this is _____. She’s the piano student I told you about.” Changgu introduces you warmly, and you don’t expect it. “She says she’s going to audition to be in Jazz Band next school year.”

“Going to be some awfully big shoes to fill once this guy graduates.” The director slaps Changgu on the back, laughing deeply. Then he extends his hand to you. “Call me Corbin.

“It’s nice to meet you, Corbin.” You shake his hand firmly. “And I look forward to auditioning.”

“I’ll be looking forward to hearing what you have to offer.”

You sit next to the piano for the duration of the practice, and it’s really an interesting experience to witness their rehearsal. Really, it’s run no differently from any other ensemble. The biggest difference is the sheer talent of the students involved. You’re sitting in a room with some of the best musicians in the school, and even though they’re all so good, they run into trouble spots in the music like anyone else would. It’s a really great reminder to you that no one is perfect.

It’s also really enlightening to you to see how Changgu navigates the music. He doesn’t have full sheet music in front of him - he’s working solely with lead sheets that only give him the chord progression and general rhythms. You’ve worked with lead sheets before and you understand how much room for interpretation they give. Changgu’s hands skillfully caress the keys, arpeggiating and clustering, making the music his own in a way you wouldn’t have considered. By the end of rehearsal, you have a whole new appreciation for Changgu’s craft and the amazing skill he possesses.

“I’m sure you already know this,” you stand next to the piano after rehearsal wraps up, “but you’re seriously an incredible pianist.”

“Thank you,” he laughs with a gentle smile. “What did you think of the rehearsal?”

“Eye-opening.” You nod succinctly.

Changgu snaps his binder shut. “You know, since we’re here, why don’t you play me something?”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Come on.” He stands, patting the piano bench for you to sit. “Let’s hear what you’ve got.”

Shit. You aren’t exactly prepared, but what good pianist doesn’t have some music memorized for times like these?

Just a touch nervous - this is kind of a big deal, after all - you take your seat at the piano and start playing “Autumn Leaves” by Joseph Kosma. It’s one you’ve been playing for years and years, and it sits comfortably in your fingers.

As you play, you lose yourself to the song, and you don’t even notice the two boys approaching the piano. It isn’t until you wrap up and they start slowly clapping that you realize they’ve joined you.

“Who do we have here?” A tall, blonde boy smirks down at you.

“_____. She’s trying to take my seat next year.” Changgu introduces you.

“That’s me.” You look up at them both, and the broad-shouldered one speaks up.

“Too bad we won’t be around next year to play alongside you.”

“Seniors?” You inquire. Both Blondie and Shoulder Boy nod. “That’s too bad, then.”

Blondie smirks again before turning to Changgu. “You still in to go to the jazz club this weekend?”

“Of course. I wouldn’t miss it.” Changgu agrees.

Shoulder Boy looks over at you. “Do you want to come? We’re all going to perform at the open mic down at Andy’s Saturday night.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t want to intrude.”

“Nonsense. You should come.” Blondie leans on the piano, and he’s quite persuasive in the princely gaze he holds.

Changgu speaks up, too. “Have you ever been?”

“No.”

“Well then, you have to come. It’s twenty-one and up, of course. You’re old enough, right?”

You look between the three of them. When in the hell would you ever get the chance to go to a jazz club with three seniors? Besides... it could be a great opportunity to do something different and get yourself out of this stupid funk you’ve been in. Might help you get over all the nonsense with Professor Yang. So why not? “O-of course.”

“Great.” Blondie taps the piano with his knuckle. “I’m Yanan, by the way. This is Shinwon. We’ll see you Saturday.”

Honestly, you feel pretty guilty about canceling your plans with Kino. But this is a special opportunity, and you can get Korean barbecue with Kino anytime. This is your chance to mingle with the big kids of the department, and it’s not something you want to pass up.

You flash your ID to the bouncer - your fake ID, that is - and casually enter the jazz club. You do your best to look nonchalant about it, and the bouncer doesn’t even question the birthdate on your card.

The club is dimly lit, but there are soft yellow lamps around the bar and candles on the tables. The aura is immediately calming, yet alluring.

Yanan is the first of the trio that you see - he’s standing at the bar, ordering drinks. You walk up to him and he notices you immediately.

“What are you drinking tonight?” He smiles lazily at you. It’s charming on him.

You raise an eyebrow. “Perhaps an Old Fashioned.”

“How classy.”

“We are in a jazz club. Seems fitting, don’t you think?”

Yanan adds your order to his list, and turns back to you as the bartender gets your drinks together. “Has Changgu talked you into performing tonight?”

“Me? No, he hasn’t.” You chuckle. “Should I?”

He shrugs minutely. “I don’t know if I’d go on stage in that dress…”

Your jaw drops at the unexpected comment. “What’s wrong with my dress?”

“Nothing, sweetheart. Trust me.” Yanan looks you up and down. “Just be prepared for some staring.”

The dress in question is undoubtedly one of your favorites, which is why you put it on for tonight. The neckline dips low between your breasts and the skirt hugs your hips comfortably. It shows off your shape, to say the least. You feel gorgeous and mature when you wear it, and it just feels like the right choice for this type of event.

Yanan’s flirty undertone stirs up a sweet warmth in your belly and somehow makes you feel more confident under his gaze. You turn towards the bar, subtly arching your back to give him a view or your rear end. “Stare all you want, sweetheart.”

You barely catch Yanan’s smirk before you realize the bartender is handing over your drinks. You each take two glasses and he leads you towards the front of the club, near the stage. The whole walk over is spent questioning how the hell you had the nerve to actually flirt back, but hey. ‘New school year, new you’ and all that. Maybe this is you finally stepping into your womanhood.

Changgu and Shinwon are seated on bar stools around a tall, circular table. A single tea candle flickers at the center of the table, throwing bits of light on the boys’ faces. Yanan claims the seat next to Shinwon and pulls the empty seat ever so slightly closer before you can sit down.

So this is how tonight’s going to go.

You have a lot of fun at the club, sipping your Old Fashioned, chatting with the boys, and listening to some seriously incredible music. Honestly, you’d take another night like this over a night at a regular club any day. This is laid-back, classy, sensual. Just your style.

When the guys get up to perform, you don’t even mind sitting by yourself. You feel so relaxed. Maybe it’s because you’re on your third Old Fashioned. (Yes, it’s going to be an expensive night. No, you don’t care.)

A girl joins the three of them on stage to play drums, and you think you might recognize her from the music department. She has a cute, round face and big eyes, like a doll. And it’s probably a good thing she’s there, too - her soft brushes set the perfect tone for the trio’s music.

Changgu tears it up on piano, of course, but in the sweetest, most melodic way. It’s a really easy, smooth sound. Shinwon plucks away at the upright bass, and Yanan contributes soulful bits of saxophone melodies. You want to just close your eyes and live in the music.

Their short set is over far too soon, but it’s only fair; they get two songs, just like everybody else. When they rejoin you at the table, the girl drummer comes with, tucked under Shinwon’s arm.

“Well done, well done,” you snap your fingers, truly taking on the jazz club persona.

“Thank you,” Changgu bows his head, a sweet grin on his lips. And then he throws you for a loop. “Get ready, you’re probably next.”

“What?”

Your ears perk up as the emcee on stage calls your name.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“I signed you up.” Changgu explained, grin turning mischievous. “Go play that tune you played for us the other day.”

“Changgu!” You’re barely even able to protest as he nudges you toward the stage. “Not fair!”

“Just do it,” he encourages, giving you one last little shove.

Suddenly you are very nervous, and you wonder if you’re even sober enough to play well. You’re not drunk yet, but definitely tipsy enough that you’ve started to feel lightheaded.

Jeez. This is completely unfair.

Sitting down at the piano, you pull the microphone over to your mouth. “Hey, everyone. Um, I’m _____, and I was brought up here entirely against my will. Thanks for that.” You gesture towards the boys’ table and laugh, and the audience chuckles with you. “I’m going to play you all a little song called ‘Autumn Leaves’.”

Pushing the microphone away, you settle your fingers onto the keys and let the music take you away. Even in your slightly intoxicated state, the notes come to you easily. You feel yourself swaying as you play, but not in a drunken way - just in the way that pianists do.

You follow the melody, giving yourself the artistic freedom to change things up as you please, and by the end you genuinely feel good about the performance. The crowd applauds as you take a bow and usher yourself off stage, only willing to use up one of your two allotted songs.

As you head back towards the table, all you can think about is how you’re going to get Changgu back for that stunt. At the very least, he could have stopped you from ordering another drink if he knew you were going to be performing. But to let you get tipsy and then toss you up on stage, completely unprepared? You shake your head, chuckling. So not cool.

A hand grabs your arm, stopping you in your tracks. You’re alarmed for only a moment before you turn around - and you’re filled with dread.

Professor Yang.

Why is he here? Why did he have to show up tonight?

Why does it feel like you just can’t get away from him?

“What do you-”

“You have no right to be here.” He cuts you off sternly. “You’re underage.”

Frowning, you shake out of his grip. “I’m aware.”

“You need to go home. Now.”

“Oh my God, seriously? Who do you think you are? I know you’re older than me, but you’re not my father. Back off.” The alcohol is catching up with you, but you don’t care what you say to him.

“You’re being irresponsible-”

“Yeah, that’s kind of what I do, right?” Your brow knits together and you’re so full of rage. “I fucking slept with you, after all, so maybe that’s just what you should expect from me. I’m just some irresponsible child, right?”

“Don’t talk like that.” Professor Yang glances around to make sure no one is paying attention to your conversation. “How much have you had to drink?”

“Why do you care? You don’t care about me. Just leave me alone.” You turn and head towards your table again, wanting to just be done with him. You can’t even have a nice night without him somehow coming along to ruin it.

You make it to the table, and the guys start to congratulate you before they recognize the man that’s been following you.

“Oh hey, Hongseok.” Yanan gets up from his seat, places his hands on your shoulders, and turns you around to face the bane of your existence. “What did you think of our little _____, here?”

“I’m not your friend. At least call me Mr. Yang if you can’t manage the title Professor.” His eyes drop to you for only a moment, stopping to notice Yanan’s fingers on your bare shoulders. His voice is surprisingly cool as he speaks. “She came here with you?”

“She did, Mr. Yang.”

“She needs to go home now. She’s underage and shouldn’t be here.”

“Underage?” Changgu speaks up.

With a roll of your eyes you confess, “I’m nineteen.”

“Yes. So someone please take her back to her home.” Professor Yang looks at the boys, stopping on Yanan. “Not you. Changgu, please escort her.”

“Not me?” Yanan protests behind you.

“I don’t trust you. Bringing a sophomore here and getting her drunk.” He scoffs.

“She’s an adult. She can do what she wants.” Yanan defends you. “It’s just a little alcohol. She’s fine.”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” You agree, frowning at Professor Yang. “I’m not drunk.”

Changgu jumps in. “No, Professor Yang is right. She shouldn’t be here if she’s underage. I’ll take her home.”

“I’ll take myself home. I feel fine.” Brushing off Yanan’s hands, you head for the door. You just want to get the hell out of there and away from him.

You’ve barely stepped outside when you feel his presence - he followed you out. Professor Yang steps up right next to you, grabbing hold of your arm again. “Stay put. I’ll get you a cab.”

“I can take the train.”

“Not by yourself, dressed like that.” He stands at the curb to hail the taxi.

“I can wear whatever I want,” you pout.

“I know that. But you’re also smart enough to know there are a lot of people out there who won’t respect your autonomy.” He spares a glance back at you, and you notice the concern on his face. “Just let me get you in a cab so I know you’ll be safe.”

You scoff. “Like you care.”

“Would you stop saying that?” His suddenly loud voice startles you as he abandons his cab-hailing mission. “This is exactly the kind of shit I wanted to avoid with you. You should have dropped the class when you had the chance.”

You stare him down. “Like I said: I’m just full of irresponsible decisions, aren’t I?”

And then the most dangerous thing in the world happens.

His gaze falls to your lips.

It only takes up a moment, but his eyes linger just long enough that you know it can’t have been by chance.

Your voice is infinitesimally small as you murmur, “What was that?”

Professor Yang searches your face, a sort of melancholy in his eyes. “Don’t make me answer that question.”

Every ounce of blood in your veins boils over, making your face hot. You’re speechless. Completely, utterly speechless. You honestly, genuinely, cannot think of anything to say.

And neither can he.

So you both stew in the thickening air, the space between you filled to the brim with the weight of his unspoken confession. It’s suffocating.

This is precisely the type of moment that is bound to screw you over eventually. Not even a deep breath can calm you - your lungs are full of his cologne, and you want nothing more than to bury your nose in his chest.

It would be so easy to grab him by the collar and pull him into your arms, claim his lips with your own and remind him how good it feels to be with you.

Show him that he still prefers you over that other woman.

Professor Yang finally steps back, breaking the spell and returning to the curb. He calls over a taxi and pulls open the back door for you. “Where are you headed?” he asks you.

“Corner of 15th and State.” You near the cab as he pulls out his wallet, grabbing a few bills and handing them to the driver through the window.

“Take her to 15th and State, please. No other stops.”

“Yessir.”

Standing behind the door, you feel hesitant to take a seat.

Come with me, you want to ask of him. Come sit with me and look at me like I’m something special. Pretend that we might be in love, like we did that night.

All you want is another moment with him, but it won’t happen. You won’t let yourself speak those words.

The ringing of a cell phone catches your attention and he pulls his phone from his pocket, checking the caller ID and deciding that he needs to answer. To you, he says, “Get home safe, alright?”

Could that be his girlfriend calling? You’re hit with a wave of jealousy, and you call after him as he walks off. “Say hi to your girlfriend for me!”

Before he can even turn around, you drop into the car and slam the door shut, pouting in the back seat as the driver pulls away from the curb.

Yeah, that was a pretty childish thing for you to do. But you’re almost drunk and you don’t give a shit.

You get out your own phone. Not even 11PM and you’re already being sent home. This is ridiculous.

Just as you’re writing out an apology text to Changgu (to apologize for your lie and also the miserable turn of events this evening), your phone rings.

Why is Wooseok calling?

You answer, curious. “Hey.”

“_____…” He drawls your name.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” he chuckles. “Just drunk.”

“Not hosting another party, I hope.” You look out the window as you stop at yet another red light. “Haven’t you learned anything?”

“No party this time. It’s just me, by myself. Which is pretty lame…”

Ah. You think you know where this is going. “Why did you call me, Wooseok?”

“Come over and drink with me. It’ll make me feel better. Pleaseee?”

You’re quiet for a second as you consider. You think about everything Professor Yang said to you tonight, how he called you irresponsible.

Irresponsible does seem to be your middle name these days.

“Alright, I’ll be there in ten.”

Wooseok is properly drunk by the time you arrive, but he’s not messy. He’s actually very easy to be around - or maybe you just feel that way because you’re a bit drunk yourself. He supplies you with a few shots of tequila, and you’re certainly well on your way.

You’ve still got enough sense to know that the two of you should have at least some water tonight to avoid a hangover headache in the morning, so you get up from the couch to grab each of you a glass. Wooseok follows you, and he leans against the wall as you get the water.

“I got a pretty good grade on my theory test this week. All thanks to you.”

“That’s awesome! I knew you could do it.” You pour water from the filtered pitcher into each glass and hand him one. “Drink that.”

“You know what? You’re a great teacher.” He obediently takes a sip. “And I thought about what you said. You’re right, I’m a badass drummer and that’s… that’s the coolest thing.”

“Cheers to that!” You clink your water glass against his and gulp some of it down.

“But the coolest thing about you is how you just make everything seem so easy. You’re so smart. And hot. S’not fair.”

“I’m hot?” You ask. The warmth of the liquor in your veins makes you feel soft and fuzzy, and grin up at him lazily. Has he always been this attractive? You’ve seen him in that jean jacket plenty of times, but for some reason it just looks especially good on him right now.

“Hell yeah, you’re, like, way hot.” He rubs his eyes. “Hey, I have a question for you.”

“What is it?”

“Do you like Yuto?”

“Yuto?” That’s probably the last question you could have expected him to ask.

“Yeah. It’s just, I saw you go in the closet with him at the party and I was just wondering what happened.”

“Oh. Nothing happened, actually.” You shake your head, giggling at the way the motion makes you feel dizzy. “He just saw the RA show up and he pulled me aside so that we wouldn’t get in trouble. We just stood there until the coast was clear, and then we left.”

“Do you like him, though?”

“I don’t know, I hardly know him. I don’t have any feelings for him, if that’s what you’re asking.”

Wooseok leans toward you, a solemn expression on his face. “He’s my friend, you know. So if anything’s going on between you two, I should know about it.”

Why does it suddenly feel like you’re in trouble? He’s actually pretty intimidating. Maybe it’s just his size. “Would it be a problem if something happened between me and Yuto?”

He takes a step toward you, forcing you to back up into the kitchen counter bar. His hands rest on the counter on either side of you, locking you in place. “If something happened between you and Yuto, I’d probably have to try to convince myself that I shouldn’t make out with you right now.”

So that’s what he wants. His confession spreads through you like wildfire, and you feel blissfully awake and alive. With all of the bullshit you’ve been dealing with, you’re more than ready to get lost in something - or someone - else.

“Lucky for you…” You grab a fistful of his shirt, slowly pulling him closer. His gaze flutters briefly to your chest, your lips, your eyes. “You can do whatever you want.”

Wooseok takes the glass from your hands and places it on the counter with his glass. His palm comes to rest on your jaw, tilting your face upward as he leans in.

Either you’re drunk or you’re actually incredibly attracted to Wooseok - regardless, you’re shocked head to toe by the sheer intensity of his kiss. He radiates delicious aggression as his hand laces through your hair, his tongue tracing your lower lip. Your hands make their way behind his neck, and he is way too tall (but that’s actually pretty hot).

Next thing you know, his hands are on your waist and he’s lifting you up onto the kitchen bar. You wrap your legs around him, pulling him in as close to you as possible, completely ignoring the way your dress slides up your thighs, exposing your legs to his wandering hand. With one of his hands still in your hair and the other gripping your thigh, you melt under his touch.

Wooseok is pure dominance, and he kisses you like it’s his last chance. Each press of his lips makes you hungry for more. Maybe you’re just deprived, but you seriously cannot get enough of him.

In the back of your drunken mind, you’re desperate to feel hands on your body. You want him to touch you and show you what those long fingers of his can do. You want him to tug your hair and bite your skin and God the way he’s breathing so heavily is so hot.

You pry his hand from your leg and bring it behind your back, silently begging him to rip your zipper and get you naked. He understands, immediately pulling the back of your dress open and fiddling with the hooks of your strapless bra. He makes quick work of it, and finally your chest is exposed.

Wooseok’s large hand cups your breast, his thumb rolling your nipple as his tongue dives between your lips. He tastes of alcohol and it’s the sweetest flavor as he decimates you. You let yourself moan unabashedly to encourage him - everything he does is exactly perfect and you want him to know that he should never, ever stop.

You lean back as his mouth starts to trail down your throat, giving him better access to your chest until you’re lying down across the bar. Wooseok’s hand travels up your torso from belly button to collar bone until his hand wraps around your throat, his mouth suckling your nipple.Tossing your head back, you moan so, so sweetly for him - your head hangs off the edge of the bar, and you get the most delicious headrush.

You’re completely caught up in the moment, and you need more. He has to give you more.

“Wooseok,” you murmur his name, head still hanging. “Let me feel your fingers. Jesus Christ. I want you to touch me. Please.”

With absolutely no hesitation his hand slides up your skirt, and he presses his palm against your clothed clit. “Ask me again, baby.”

Baby? Oh dear Lord you completely lose control of your senses when you hear that pet name. Breathily, you beg, “Wooseok, please touch me. Finger me. I want to feel your hands.”

“Good girl.” He presses a line of kisses across your chest, and he tugs your underwear off, dropping the soaked fabric onto the floor. Christ, you’re so wet for him.

The tips of his fingers sweep across your folds, targeting your clit and winding small circles around it. It’s a sharp and quick motion, and it makes you gasp, your back arching at the sudden onslaught of intense pleasure.

“Is that what you want, baby?”

There it is again - baby. Why does it sound so natural coming from his lips? “Yes, Wooseok! Oh my God… More, please, more…”

As you wish, Wooseok brought two fingers to his mouth, wetting them with his saliva before letting them slip past your folds, diving deep into your warmth. It’s exactly what you wanted, and the combination of his circling and pumping drives you absolutely wild.

“Tell me what you like,” he murmurs, and you let your fingers card through his soft hair.

You’re breathless, but you manage to find words. “I like… everything you’re doing. Oh God, I like how… rough you are… I want- ohh!”

The coil in your belly tightens, and you tug hard on Wooseok’s hair. He groans lowly, and your walls clench wildly around his fingers.

“What do you want?” His voice is breathy as he asks, and his teeth gently bite down on your nipple, tugging.

“I want to come, please, just keep going, let me come!”

“Go ahead, baby.”

He doesn’t do a single thing different - he just keeps his exact pace, that fucking spectacular tempo he’s got, letting you work yourself up until you finally hit your breaking point.

You arch your back as stars explode behind your eyelids, shooting you into another galaxy of pleasure and ecstasy. Your whole body feels electric and tingly, and your walls pulse joyfully around his fingers as you release every ounce of tension you’ve held.

What fucking fantastic fingers he has.

Before you can fully come down, though, you hear the apartment door open.

Panicked, you sit straight up, forcefully bumping heads with Wooseok. You both simultaneously clutch your foreheads, groaning from the pain. And in your hurry to sit up, you accidentally knock over one of the glasses sitting next to you on the counter, spilling water everywhere.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry,” you apologize as you attempt to cover yourself with the dress that’s gathered around your waist.

Just then, Wooseok’s roommate, Minho, comes strolling in. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what the two of you were just doing, and he frowns. “Seriously, Wooseok? The kitchen counter? You couldn’t fucking make it to the bedroom, or even give me a heads-up?”

“Whatever, dude.” Wooseok steps between you and Minho to help hide your disheveled state. “Can we have a minute?”

Minho rolls his eyes. “Just don’t fuck up the couch too much.”

“We’re not-” Wooseok’s voice gets cut off as Minho yanks the bedroom door shut. He turns back to you, still rubbing his head. “Are you okay?”

You nod and let your dress fall down again so you can return your bra to its rightful place on your chest. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. You’ve got some great tits, by the way.” He admires your chest as you hook your bra.

With a short chuckle you respond, “Thanks.”

“You know… We could fuck up the couch a little, if you want…” Wooseok suggests mischievously, despite the conversation he just had with his roommate.

“I think I should probably go, actually.” You feel more than a little awkward about his roommate showing up, and you’re positive that you must be fifty shades of red right about now. You jump down from the counter and head for the door, zipping up your dress along the way.

What should you say? Thanks? Sorry? See you again soon? You’re not prepared for this kind of situation. All you know is that you just want to get home.

So you do what anyone else would do and you just don’t say a damn thing as you bolt out the door.

Your mind is still too fuzzy from the alcohol and the orgasm to even process what just happened between the two of you, and all you can think about is how the whole skirt of your dress is wet from those glasses being knocked over and you probably look like a hot mess right now.

Normally you’d take the stairs out, but you feel too dizzy to make it down stairs without falling - so you wait for the elevator instead. And as if you haven’t already had enough of a weird night, the elevator doors open to a familiar concerned face.

“_____?” Kino stares at you from inside the elevator, taking in your messy hair, rumpled dress, dripping skirt.

You’re simultaneously relieved to see him and consumed with guilt - you had canceled your plans with him, and now look how the night has turned out. “Kino…”

It’s obvious by the look in his eye that he can tell something is wrong. You don’t even have to voice what’s happening inside of your head. He just knows. “Do you want to come over?”

Nodding, you feel the familiar burn of tears in the corner of your eyes.

What a hell of a night.

Post Script | Thank you for reading! Please stay tuned for Part 6.

Update | Check out Part 5.5 (Kino POV) and this ask (Wooseok POV) for bonus canon content!

All Rights Reserved © gwentoryfics. No translations, reposting, and/or modifying of the material is allowed without my direct permission.

[imhereformysciencefriends]

Day 7: New Life

@gamzeeweek

They set the mug down delicately upon the doily, and leaned back while crossing their legs.

“Again,” they ordered calmly.

“Again, honored one? What do you mean?”

“I mean start it all over. There were some salvageable moments, some decent parts, but honestly? Just scrap the whole thing. Do it all over, from the top.”

“From the—the beginning, honored one? All the way?”

“All the way.”

“But, honored one, that—”

“I know what I’m doing,” they said calmly, taking another sip of their tea. “Now. One more time, with feeling.”

—

You are a wriggler, and you are so, so, so full of love. This screechy ass troll as is ten times your size is your favorite person, ever, in the whole world, and you are going to Climb On Him. He is your best friend, the best ever, you love him so much—

And then it is time for you to go through the portal onto the meteor which crash lands down onto Alternia, and while you don’t know it because you are just a wriggler, the meteor is made of hyper-cushioning materials that prevented you from what would surely otherwise be a disastrous demise. You are at the fringes of the brooding caverns, far from the mouth where wrigglers as went through The Trials emerge to find loving custodians. You are found by a seagoat, who didn’t really want a wriggler, but had to go near-ish the caverns anyway, because of biology. You, of course, do not know this. You just know that this is your lusus, and you love him more than anything else in the entirety of everything ever.

“No, no, that’s no good. Move the meteor so it lands there.”

“Honored one, the adult jadebloods…”

“I know, but we need to take a calculated risk here. Have the meteor land there.”

You go through the portal onto the meteor which crash lands down onto Alternia, and while you don’t know it because you are just a wriggler, the meteor is made of hyper-cushioning materials that prevented you from what would surely otherwise be a disastrous demise. You are just outside the mouth of the brooding caverns, the impact of your landing shaking the caves below. But you do not care, because you are a wriggler. You squeal happily when a tidegoat mouths at the tuft of hair growing between your horns. You chirr happily up at him, and crawl onto his back. You are happy, because you know that this is your lusus, and you love him more than anything else in the entirety of everything ever.

What you do not know, because you are still very new you see, is that a tidegoat is similar to a seagoat in the same way that rabbits are similar to hares. While, outwardly, they look very much alike, with only a difference in size, a seagoat, like a hare, is actually far more terrifying and emotionally unavailable than its smaller counterpart. They are also genetically incompatible. Who knew? Not you. You’re just a little baby.

Tidegoatdad takes very good care of you, showing you how to wade in the tidepools and how to hold a sea urchin without hurting yourself or it, showing you the good places to look for shells and making sure you’re always inside by sunrise. He feeds you seaweed and fish and occasional squirrel, and makes you do your schoolfeeds while he sleeps curled up round your back like Alternia’s most comfortable couch. Sometimes he’ll let you bodypaint on that pretty white fur and flubber of his, even though it always washes off when you two go play in the brine and waves later.

You make a friend with this neat sea-sis, a bright eyed, sharp toothed sister as can’t go much farther than your shore. Her lusus don’t like it none when she strays too far, and you understand. Tidegoatdad can breathe down your neck a little too. But that’s okay, because he’s your lusus, and you know he only does it because he loves you so very motherfucking much. You and fishsis all up and get your friendship on, and she drags her moirail out to meet you too.

That brother is a motherfucking piece of work. Even with the two of you at him, he is still so reluctant to make strides towards being a nicer person. You can’t even imagine what he’d turn out without the both of you, there to keep him in check and in friendship. You do not know that you ain’t supposed to like them. That clowns and fish don’t get along. You are a clown and they are your friends, and you keep ‘em close to your pusher always.

You meet a sweet boy online as does steal your heart, and then break it also. You keep friendship, though, after. His friendship means more to you than his heart ever could, and the two of you spit fire and rhythm as is good and right. You meet a harsh boy as does rankle his hackles at every motherfucking thing, and although you ain’t subtle for shit, he don’t ever seem to notice how you drip diamonds whenever you speak to him.

You’re awful excited to meet them in person. A wicked smart brother and sister of yours are making this game that is supposed to let you meet them and you are all kinds of holy motherfucking gleeful.

—

“See, isn’t this better?”

“It is, honored one. It really, really is. But, I worry, honored one; the plot…”

“Will sort itself out. Keep watching.”

—

The game is more fun than you thought it’d be. It’s definitely upsetting when your lusus dies, that one you didn’t stop crying on until Karkat did come to the Land of Tents and Mirth and talk you down from it. But other than that, it’s fun. You’re on a different team from Feferi and Eridan, except it turns out not really, you were all teammates all along! You think that is a very nice prank for the universe to pull on you. You are on a team with Karkat and Tavros, right from the start, and that is very fun and excellent.

You guess it’s also kind of a bummer that the world ended. But, eh, nothing’s permanent.

Now you’re chilling on this wicked ass motherfucking meteor with all your good friends (and some friends as aren’t too good, just yet, but you look forward to being better friends (and that one chica as scares you something terrible)). A pink-skinned motherfucker as your sniffsis has been up and motherfucking obsessed with lately sends you a link to some motherfuckin’ music video, and as near as you can tell, he’s making mockery of your religion?

You ain’t got super close ties to the mirthful churchful. Especially now, since the world ended. Still, it makes you kinda pissed off that this brother would send you something with sole intention of upsetting you. It worked; you are upset. So you take a walk to clear your head, even though your best bro did tell everyone to stay where he could keep eyes on them. He’s busy trolling… someone, though, and it ain’t like you’re going to get into trouble.

You meander, opening chests here or there as you pass. One has this fugly ass puppet in it. Maybe if you were actually upset, instead of just a lil pissy, you would take this motherfucking comfort item and hold it, and look in its eyes because you want the plush, cottony comfort of something vaguely trolloid, but you aren’t, so you don’t. You just chuck it in your sylladex and forget about it on a colorful capcha card you ain’t ever going to open again. Staring at the pretty colors does calm you down some. You’re thinking clear, again, and meander with a lil kick in your step.

—

“See, honored one? He’s deviating from the plot.”

“Yes,” they said, delightedly pulling a rice cracker from the sleeve. “And thus, creating a new one.”

—

You lose the kick in your step when you encounter upon a collection of cliffs in the meteor. Where you are stands tall above some other pathway, where your sweet motherfuckin’ Tavbro and that bitch as scares you so badly are. She’s mocking him with his severed legs. The legs she did paralyze in the first place. They’re going to fight.

You—

“Give him a little nudge. Just a little one. Gamzee tends to lock up in high adrenaline situations, I don’t want him to be inactive for this.”

“Yes, honored one.”

—move. Your body going seeming without your brain’s consent, at first, but once the first step is made forward, the rest follow natural as blood flowing in your veins.

You drop down from the height, one club grasped in two fronds, and you

take

her

head

clear

off.

She would’ve killed him. She’d had his lance in her hand poised and aimed at his chest. Half a second, less, and she would’ve pierced the bloodpump as you hold as precious and dear as you do. She would’ve killed him.

It don’t make what you did any better.

The tears come immediate, panic following.

You killed her.

You killed her.

You took your club and laid it in the head of a sister whose name you knew! You killed her!

You grasp and tear at your hair, shrieking, wailing. You didn’t mean to, you—god, oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god!

The guilt wells up alongside the panic and you are blind to all else, seeing only blue, blue, blue, and your own bile. You killed her! How could you do that! Her blood is on your hands, on your club, in your hair, soaking into the knees of your pants where you kneel and keen high and distressed through your gurgling tears. You do not know where you are going when Tavros lifts you to your feet with his strong and gentle hands, you do not know where he leads you. Your pan is full of only guilty panic, and the color blue. You follow where he leads.

He leads you to Karkat, back in the common room, who you rush to in the need of a diamond returned. You are sobbing and aching and panicked and vulnerable, and you need him, you need him, you need him to be gentle with you, to gentle you down, you have never needed him more in your life.

It will strike you, later, that that is exactly the kind of romantic bullshit that Karkat motherfucking thrives on.

Eridan, Sollux, and Feferi stop whatever conversation it is that they are having to stare in painful awkwardness at you, which you do not make no notice of, and Kanaya ushers them all to the warp pad out the common room, which you also don’t notice but thank her later for doing. Karkat sits you down in the chair he’d been ignoring for favor of standing to rant on his keyboard, and sits backwards in a chair of his own, right in front of you. He’s got his palms on your cheeks and a crooning shoosh on his lips and he’s got you, he’s got you, you’re going to be okay. He shushes you down and gets the story out of you in sobbing parts. How you hadn’t wanted to. How you’d just acted, angry and protective and somehow all rolled up numb, and how you hadn’t been thinking at all until after the deed itself. He asks if it’s kind of like what you did with the Black King, and you guess, kind of. You hadn’t wanted to kill anybody. Hell, you don’t never want to hurt anybody, much less kill. Karkat knows. He knows, and tells you that this ain’t your fault. Vriska was the one trying to kill Tavros, you were just acting in kind. It’s okay.

Terezi interrupts you, one point. On the trail of something or other, she has that look about her when she’s playing investigator-detective and is on the hunt. Don’t say nothing, though, just takes a picture of you and Karkat, hands on teary cheeks, and leaves with a bright cackle.

You stay with Karkat some while after, and when you ask for a hug he gives you one.

Then your phones buzz and Feferi wants you all to come up to the roof. Some sort of excitement is happening with the horrorterrors out in that far off ring, and there’s something to do with the humans?

Nepeta congratulates you immediately on your new diamond when you get there, looking all atwitter. You think it is real motherfuckin’ miraculous of your sister to know all these things about you without your even telling her, like woah. It just happened. Karkat tells you that the two of you are still holding hands, and then Nepeta tells you that Terezi sent her a photo. You are happy to realize that you are, in motherfucking fact, still holding hands with your best beloved, even as he starts screeching at your sisters who do make to laugh at him, while Equius stares on all uncomfortable and sweaty. He offers his congratulations too, stiff and awkward as that brother is always getting to be, and you smile at him a gratitude for his thoughts.

Tavros is near the lip of the roof, staring out into the vastness and the darkness. You want to go to him, but want to let go of Karkat’s hand less, so you stay put.

When the green sun shows up, and three siblings with it, you are well and truly motherfucking dazzled.

Tavros is there to greet Aradia when she returns to life, and you can taste their joy at their reunion. Dave and Rose, them human fuckers, are here too now, which, sick. You have no idea how that happened, but shit if you ain’t excited about it. More friends.

You lose track of happenings real motherfuckin’ quick after that. A green portal opens and a bucket flies through and hits Karkat straight in the horn, and then a whole bunch of people do a whole bunch of things to make the portal bigger and also faster(??), and then there’s a giant ass golden ship flying alongside the meteor as is moving very quickly, and two more human motherfuckers as can come be friends, plus their human Lands of whatevers and whatevers, so you will be able to play around in them and get grist and fraymotifs and shit so long as Jadesis is up and willing to shrinkify you, and you are very unaware of so many things as happened to make this your reality but you are well and truly happy for it.

Seems to you that everything is going to work out just fine.

—

“This… is really good…”

“Yes,” they said proudly, “yes it is.”

“But, honored one, I’m still confused. With Gamzee, you know, happy, how will the circle complete?”

“That circle was stupid anyway,” they said with a wave of their hand. “We’ll simply close another circle instead.”

“Yes, honored one, but how?”

They shrugged. “We shall have to see, won’t we?”

—

The three human years on the meteor go by in a rush of memories that are both happy and not. Life be like that. You are good friends with all gathered there, by the end of it. Dating five boys in a set of full quadrants and chilling with Feferi as you always used to do, on the beach. Aradia, who Sollux and Tavros and Terezi did convince to stay, likes to braid your hair and take you on adventures through the Lands, John is a hilarious motherfucker and Jade is a sweetheart. You improve on fighting by battling imps, learn new fun things to cook, play board games and FLARP without the fatal part and make piles of horns and pillows and empty soda bottles wherever you do please to.

You also, though, get a visit from a different you. An older you. A you with scars you don’t recognize, and Aradia’s music boxes in his hands.

He tells you that there is a task you must do. And you can do it now, or you can do it later, but you gotta do it. You’ll come back right to this time, when you’re done, Aradia’s music boxes won’t fail you, and then you’ll give them back to him and he’ll go back when he’s from.

So you take them, and do as he tells you he did.

You go to an egg all spiral-colored, watch it hatch and cradle the snake as slithers out.

Cherubs grow fast, you learn. Way, way faster than trolls and humans. It ain’t gradual. It’s sorta… all at once, and then nothing for a while, and then spurt! All at once again. You only get to cradle a baby for a few perigees, most. The child is a little longer, but you’re not there for even a full two sweeps before they surge up into adolescence, which will apparently last many sweeps after this.

You set up the two computers while Callie is awake, and ensure she is and always will be in contact with her friends, the neon colored motherfuckers as you haven’t met yet. You also get her contact with your future self, so she won’t be so lonely and fatherless as you would hate to leave her. But you’re not even an adult yourself, and you wonder at why the universe makes you do this while you are so young.

Caliborn claws you up when you tell him it’s time for you to leave, and you do not give him your future self’s contact. If your future self wants to talk to him, he can come here and update Caliborn’s computer his own motherfucking self.

You do love him, though. Bratty as he may be.

Just… you’ll love him more in memory.

You leave, just out of their reach, the keys that your older self gave to you when he handed you the music boxes. You dunno what they’re for, but whichever one of them leaves this place will have something to do with them, you think?

You hug Callie one last time, and head out.

Back on the meteor, you are so, so, so happy to see your friends again. To them, you weren’t even gone a whole hour, but you have not seen them in some sweeps and you have missed them terribly. But this is your role, you guess, like seeing dead bodies is Dave’s, or wrecking reality is Rose’s, or being really cool is Terezi’s.

You don’t let Karkat go for a motherfucking week, purrbox up and running the whole while.

When you do arrive in the new session, everything goes sideways so fast you’d be real motherfuckin impressed if you weren’t one of the things going sideways. Still, between the… how many of you are there? 18? 19? Somewhere ‘round 20 of you, you get it figured out. You don’t wanna really fight any bosses, so you get to chill with the Mayor, who you are all in pretty collective agreement is the best, and Callie! Who’s here! And wearing a ring she got from Roxy, who is a very nice girl who you approve of very much! You hug Callie very tightly and she tells you how much she’s missed you. You’ve missed her too, for all it hasn’t even been a perigee on your end, and the three of you sit and chat (mostly, Callie tells you about her life since you’ve left, and you listen). You’re there when the Mayor’s girlfriend arrives, and she is a very scary lady who you respect a lot.

A lot of things happen all at once, shortly thereafter. All the bosses are defeated, and a lot of people are fraymotifing, and then Feferi and Terezi bring Vriska back to life, and Terezi punches her straight in the face and shouts some seriously pitch black inches at her, and Vriska… changed, when she died. She apologizes and everything, swears to be better, for Terezi, for everyone, and you do not know what is going on there, but hey, if killing her was what it took for her to be a good person, then, you guess you’re almost glad you did…?

That one guilt had been the single worst part of all these last three years, for you. Something as haunted you eternal, no matter how much you jammed with Karkat about it, no matter how all your friends forgave you of it. But to see that in the end, it was for the best, well. You are finally able to let that go.

There are many people on the lily pad. You are one. And you, collectively, have won.

You go through the door, and you obtain your happy ending.

—

“....”

“Dear, are you crying?” they asked gently.

“Yes, honored one. I, I’m just, so happy. He deserves this. They all do.”

“They do,” they agreed, smiling warmly. “Now, how about a soft epilogue?”

—

You’ve been god of this new universe for two sweeps, or four years. Aradia does a lot of time shenanigans, while Dave don’t touch time shit no more. Kanaya likes to meddle and fuss with the past, with the Mayor’s help, and a democratic, socialist society rises up with their efforts and everyone all lives together in joy and happiness. Sometimes people try to sorta… fence themselves off by species, but that is a very dumb and silly thing to try and do, and it never actually keeps at that way for longer than a year or sweep.

You are happily retired from all fighting and magic Rage bullshit, and spend your days happily with your quads and daughter, who is now the same age as you, pretty much. Callie hands you the keys you left her brother and her, at one point, and you borrow Aradia’s boxes and head back to your younger self, since you gotta complete that circle, and a bunch of other circles that you had no idea you actually played a part in. Apparently you’re a pretty involved dude, for all you feel you don’t do a terrible lot. Lots of moving pieces out of your awareness. But that’s fine, that you’re just a domino in a line, you’re happy to be, because what you do sparks a deep joy in you, and you can’t imagine your life going any different from how it’s going now. When you return to your time and retirement, you’re happy to see past!Callie as a contact, and strike up correspondence with your daughter who isn’t the same age as you.

Rose starts up talk with John on going back in time and fighting Lord English when he is young—

“Mm, yes, this is exactly the sort of nonsense that simply will not fly. John doesn’t have retcon powers since there was nothing to retcon, which means the house juju has been successfully removed from the narrative. We cannot be having this.”

‘Yes, honored one. Oh, how about this?”

—and a little protective curl of Rage flickers up in the part of your soul that is magic. You tell them that Lord English might be a bitch and a bastard, but the little one is still only just Caliborn. And Caliborn, for all the scars he gave you and the headaches as didn’t fade for hours after he went to sleep, is still your child, even as you know he is your child that grows up cruel and perverse and pure, straight up, motherfucking evil. They leave him be.

“Oh perfect, well done!”

After that, there is… nothing. No more Game nonsense, no imps or demons or gods. Just you, and the family as isn’t yours by any blood or relation, but is your motherfucking family, by choice and emotion and deep, unwavering love.

You are an adult, and you are so, so, so full of love.

[ragingratbastard]

DND CHALLENGE: RIDDLE WHAT DO YOU THINK OF EVERYONE IN THE PARTY

alright lets do thisNix: Riddle loves Nix mostly because Nix and Riddle out here like “time to remind Tris of his past” solidarity. Nix and Riddle show up and are like “knock knock Tris bet you thought you’d seen the last of me.” Riddle also admires Nix’s forceful and sometimes terrifying personality. Literally anytime Nix talks to Tris she is an icon and Riddle’s respect for her increases. She seems like a smart, resourceful, quick-witted woman who can take care of herself extremely well and Riddle finds that very admirable. Tirron: Similar to Nix, Riddle also admires and appreciates the fact that Tirron is clearly capable of handling and taking care of himself. And on the other hand Riddle looks at Tirron and is like “hm. sure did try to seduce his dad. i hope he never finds out about that.” Riddle is also kind of like “oh god he is fucking baby” because like…there’s a difference between Nix, a woman who is almost 30, and Tirron, a guy who is barely 20. Yea Riddle isn’t old but he also is uncomfortable around ‘the youths’ because he’s just like “oh god how do i fuking relate to anything this kid is going through.” Also fr tho if Tris even looks at Tirron Riddle will stomp him to death with his fucking hooves. Riddle remembers what it’s like to be that poor young top that Tris dates and he’s not gonna let Tirron become that. Kentris: Riddle hasn’t spent too much time around Kentris which makes him sad but also he thought that Kentris was really cute when he got drunk! Kentris seems like a nice lad, just a downright decent guy. He works for a cool underwater sea queen and y’know what, that sounds dope! good for him! Riddle will support Kentris in all of his career decisions.Kane: Riddle thinks Kane is a hunky piece of man-meat and really, what more is there to say. Riddle waked up on this pirate ship and was like “well i need to find a fuck buddy. it’s certainly not going to be tris again, plus this guy already has his shirt off so we’re half way there.” and the rest is history. Riddle does definitely want to know about who Kane is as a person more. He also doesn’t expect that he and Kane’s relationship will ever be anything more than physical, and that if anyone breaks it off it’ll probably be Kane. Riddle is down to clown as long as Kane is and then all he can hope for is that Kane and he will continue to have an amicable friendship. Riddle likes Kane’s voice and his scars and his body and he doesn’t think of much past that.Guile: Guile seems nice and Riddle definitely sees them as being friends maybe? He really doesn’t know a lot about Guile but he thinks Guile is cute and has a lot of potential when it comes to being an easy target for teasing. Riddle thought it was so cute when Guile mentioned that it was his mom that taught him to dance, also the fact that he sneaked his cat into a goddamn court testimony. Guile seems like a nice, normal guy and Riddle likes that. He enjoyed his conversation with Kane and Guile where the three of them talked about writing and poetry. Guile just seems like a good guy, from his turning over captain rights to Tirron to his testimony for the council, Guile seems like a man who is trying to do the right thing which Riddle is into. (Dylan When Are We Going To Do Their Language Lesson Please Respond)Caelan: Riddle was so excited to see Caelan again and is also really worried about him! Mostly because Caelan is out here in Saltmarsh alone which is…something. He thinks its fucking hilarious that the two of them both knew Tris and somehow it never got brought up but hey now that the three of them are together Caelan and Riddle get to bully Tris right to his face. Honestly Riddle just loves hanging out with Caelan, he cares about him a lot and wants Caelan to be happy in the long run. Also now they’re bard buddies which is just nice. Riddle wants Caelan to trust him and he wants Caelan to know that even though Riddle is Riddle, he is always very caring and sober when it comes to emotional matters. He just wants to give Caelan some comfort and make him feel at ease. Riddle also believes that while Caelan has spent however long taking care of Tris hes pushed his own needs aside so its like ‘Riddle taking care of Caelan –> Caelan taking care of Tris –> Tris.” in Riddle’s head. Tris: Surprisingly enough the first time Riddle saw Tris in that fucking cell he was flooded with an immediate sense of relief. Riddle is really so grateful to have Caelan and Tris around because he thought he was going to go the rest of his life without seeing another friendly face and now he has two. At the same time it is also really difficult for Riddle to see Tris, mostly because it doesn’t seem like Tris has changed at all in the many years since he and Riddle were together. Riddle find’s it kind of heartbreaking, both Tris’s emotional state and his physical state. He’s fucking upset that Tris isn’t eating and taking care of himself, and honestly even more upset that Caelan is taking care of Tris. Like hello you’re an adult your friends should support you but that doesn’t mean they should have to be like parents to you. Obviously his frustration comes from a place of love, because he loves Tris (in a friend way haha no homo) and wants to see Tris happy and fucking healthy. He wants to help Tris through his shit and he hopes Tris will trust him and let him back in as a friend now, but he’s also frustrated by this Nix stuff and how Tris has been dealing with it, he’s frustrated about how Tris has been dealing with everything. Still he’s trying to stay relaxed and keep a balance between supporting Tris and gently bullying him into facing his problems. Also Shyanne if you’re out there guess who had an extended fantasy about Tris getting drunk and Riddle putting him to bed but then it turns into an emotional talk about their relationship? *points at myself* this guy!

[adamxanzio]

“I Love My Friends. I Hate Bullies” [working title]

I posted this on stupid-ass FB a while ago. It deals with my views on human rights, and how I tend to handle tense situations. Copied and pasted from my notes app.

💜🌹🌷Soooo... I met some really great friends a while ago. Two of them I’ve been kickin’ with steadily. Both of them female (</sarcasm> because, despite what pilgrims like Steve Harvey tell you, it’s totally possible for dudes and girls to be actual friends without wanting “other shit”, or having “other shit” going on; which is totally fine, and not shameful in the least... or maybe that’s just me).

😕Recently, while we were out at a club, dancing and goofing off, as I usually do, some dude standing close by tried to touch the bum of one of my friends. I saw it clear as day, in this dark room, with flashing lights. I decided to keep my eye on this... “person”, as he didn’t make actual contact with her that time. I know I should have done more, at that very moment, and I’m sorry for that. So, this dude tries it again, and makes contact. I look at him right in the eyes, and shake my head “no” at him. My friend didn’t seem to notice. He does not respond. Once again, I didn’t do what I really felt like doing, and I am very sorry. SO, he tries again, a third time. I slap his hand away, get right in his face, and shout at him that I will fuck him up if he touches my friend again. Here I am, shouting in this guy’s face, pointing, and being openly aggressive with him. Not my usually behavior, but it comes out now and then.

🙁The guy walks a short distance away, while I continue to keep an eye on him. The only reason this guy isn’t either thrown out or battered on the ground, is because I myself didn’t wanna risk getting thrown out (though I like this club, I slowly stopped caring if I got banned for fighting, because the safety of my friend is obviously more important). This dumbass comes up to me, like 5 fuckin’ minutes later, trying to put his hand on my shoulder (which I did not let happen), and talk to me in my ear. I keep a short distance, and I decide to hear him out (which I didn’t want to do. I wanted to choke-slam him, among other things, but I was still trying to not have things go there); standing ready for anything else to happen. He says: “yo, don’t ever come at me like that again, bruh. I don’t play that shit”, and a bunch of other flexing horseshit. I shout at him in his ear “FUCK YOU, IDIOT! You grabbed my friend’s ass! Shut the fuck up, you piece of shit!”. He tries to talk over me, shouting about how I shouldn’t talk to him the way I did. FIRST OF ALL... If he is more concerned with my tone and choice of words, than he is with being caught grabbing a strangers ass, then he’s a piece of shit. That’s exactly what I told him at that moment, along with some other choice words. I’m not affected by words, but I could tell that he was. I shouted every hurtful, demeaning thing I could think of about him, not caring about the outcome. I continued to berate him, expecting him to try something, but he stepped away after a few seconds. I told my friend’s boyfriend, who was not too far away, what happened. Turns out this turd who was touching my friend improperly was related to the owner of the club, and was rolling with some “gangsta” types. I told him: “fuck you, and your stupid-ass friends. I don’t care who your friends are, and I don’t care who you’re related to. If your concern is my tone, and choice of words, over what you tried to do with my friend, then fuck every last one of you! You piece of shit! You turd! You scum! You fucking nothing! ...The situation was taken care of, without me having to do anything more. We then went to a quieter place, and talked, as friends do.

☹️I don’t care who you are, who you know, if you’ve been drinking (I definitely don’t care about that. I have zero tolerance for people making excuses for themselves and for others based on if they’ve been drinking), or whatever other meaningless shit people use to feel good about themselves, or feel cool or important; if you do shit like in this situation, your humanity and your “rights” go out the fucking window. Fuck that “gangsta” bullshit. Fuck that whole image. I’m neither impressed nor intimidated by that garbage. Buncha fuckin’ clowns. Even if my friend was a complete stranger, it would have been dead wrong, and would not be tolerated. Also, I must stress that I’m aware of my friend’s feelings toward this kind of treatment to people. I didn’t just go off, blindly, in defense of someone. I know how annoying and unnecessary that can sometimes be.

🤔Some would say: That’s the risk you run being at a club, that’s the risk you run being an attractive woman, etc. ...Well, you also run a risk of messing with people that will not accept, or will not brush off that kind of behavior.

😢Please keep in mind, I don’t like talking about violence, fighting, or altercations like these. I really don’t. The point of this story is to express how I feel about my friends, and give a glimpse into how I handle situations like this. ......I’m a big, brown guy, and it’s easy to stereotype me the wrong way. I don’t go around looking for fights, but I do stay ready for them, even in my most vulnerable, fun-loving moments. Also, I know I also look like a big, soft, androgynous, gigantic dork, who wouldn’t do anything, and doesn’t stand for shit. Both of those are wrong. I may look like a “pussy-ass faggot” (not my terminology. I don’t use words like that in that context, because I think they’re stupid, but I hear it pretty often about myself), but imagine how soul-crushing it would be to get stomped the fuck out by a “faggot” like me. There is a time and place for everything. Just because I’m capable of causing a great deal of harm to others, doesn’t mean I go flexing that everywhere. I don’t think it’s cool, sexy, or even tough. I don’t flex. I don’t walk around trying to be some character. “Putting on a show” doesn’t win fights, but it does show how weak you potentially are. It’s like glass, as I can see right through, and it’s easily breakable. I don’t want to hurt anybody, but I most certainly will, should it ever come to that; which I hope it never does. I can be a cuddly teddy bear, or a full grown grizzly (I prefer “teddy” over everything else in life. All I want in life is good music and hugs from sweet people; but that doesn’t keep me from being prepared for the worst. I don’t like that, but that’s just the world we live in). ...Maybe you think my approach is “wrong”, or contradictory in some way. Well, I’m sure you’d handle it MUCH better. Your templated ethics, and evident lack of experience will only do so much.

🤫I don’t know how long I’m going to keep this post up, because of my feelings toward violence, how upset I was, and the look of discussing things like this. ...At the same time, I’ve let a lot of shit slide that I shouldn’t have in the past, and it makes me really sad that I didn’t do what I felt in my heart, and what I felt was right, for the people I care about, or myself. I didn’t stand up when it was right, and sometimes expected the person affected to stand up for themselves, as I stood by quietly, letting the idiot talk, so they could reveal how shitty they really were. It makes me really sad, to the point of tears, and I’m so sorry to those who I could have stood up for, especially as someone who claims to care a great deal about human rights. I believe the same energy we used to smash neo-Nazis years ago, should be used on misogyny, homophobia, and, dare I say it, this aggressive yet watered down Puritanism that still lingers here and there.

🙅🏾‍♂️Fuck acting “tough”. Fuck fragile masculinity, and “being a man” in general. Fuck entitled idiots. Cherish your actual friendships. Stomp this kind of behavior out, as soon as it shows its ugly-ass head.

With love. ❤️💜💙

Theee end. 💐

🌹🌷🌹🌷🌹🌷🌹🌷🌹🌷🌹🌷

[abdicatedarchive]

not a goodbye || chase and jonah

𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍: chase and jonah’s freshman dorm // spring 2021.

𝐅𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: chase x jonah.

𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐑𝐒: two best friends in a room, they might kiss.

𝐃𝐄𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐋𝐒: chase and jonah say goodbye to their freshman dorm room and the last time they will be actual roommates. but they have plenty of good times ahead of them.

Getting their dorm room packed up after one of the greatest years Chase had ever had was a little bittersweet. Part of him thought him and Jonah were going to be roommates roommates for the whole four years. Especially after a few months had gone so well, he thought that nothing would ever change. But it was time to go, and next year they would be living in a house together with their other friends and that was going to be great too. But this was a special kind of greatness, the kind of closeness you get with someone who you spend every day and every night with. The person in the room you come back to after a hard test, a really good shower thought, or a great day. "We've had a lot of fun in here, man" said Chase, vocalizing his sentimentality for living in here. "Just you me and Saphira" he added with a smile, the cat had already been packed up and dropped off to be taken care of by Nana.

Jonah exhaled deeply as he looked around the almost empty dorm room. The past year had been one of the best he ever had, and a lot of it was thanks to Chase. The thought of living in the same room with someone was a little intimidating. He was scared it would be too draining on him, but if anything, it brought the two boys even closer. Chase was someone that balanced Jonah out nicely. His extroverted personality brought that out in Jonah as well, but he also respected when Jonah needed a bit of a cool down. Even with everything going on with Julian, Jonah was able to relax a bit whenever Chase was around. But now they were moving on to bigger things, an actual house filled with their friends. It was different, but Jonah was pretty excited for it. Looking back on his life, he would have never expected to find such great friends. They did more for him than they really knew. "Saphira really was a great roommate." Jonah patted his friend's back as he spoke. "You were a pretty good runner up, though." he said jokingly. "But it doesn't stop, we got all summer to be with each other. You, me, and those summer camp kids. Can't believe we let the twins talk us into that, but if it's up to Hollingsworth standards, it's gotta be great."

Chase was resisting his urge to hug Jonah, because he was being a little ridiculous. They were going to spend all summer together, and even live together next year. It was just sentimental because it was the end of an era, but honestly their friendship was just getting started. They were gonna be on a long life journey together, that was certain. Chase had never had a male friend like this before in his life, let alone a male friend group. "Yeah, those twins. They can talk anyone into anything. Peer pressure is a great look on them" said Chase with a laugh. The four of them had a solid dynamic, and you'd think they'd stress Jonah out. But Chase knew they were total nerds, those Hollingsworth girls. It was only a matter of time before the four of them's common interests reigned true. "We really are going to have the best summer ever, and you've got your girl. I've got ... a literal child. Look at us" he said with a laugh.

"It's those damn debate team skills. It's unmatched." Jonah let out a sigh before laughing. Jonah was very aware of just how intense the Hollingsworth girls could be, but he also did know them before they both evolved. They were pretty much goobers, in the best way possible, of course. Jonah smiled wide once his friend mentioned Rory. It was so good to be back with her, like he was finally complete. But then Chase mentioned how he had a child. A real life child. Jonah never forgot about that one, it lived in his brain absolutely rent free. He looked at Chase with wide eyes and laughed along "We're really stepping it up. Raising that bar for everyone. Who could top that?" He really was going to have a great summer with his bud, he was sure of it. "Oh shit, there's also that New York trip!" he said with such excitement. Jonah didn't get to see Mia as often so he was really happy to go up and visit her as well. She was in a good place, physically and mentally. It was all he could ever ask for. "I can't wait to see your family."

It was nice to see Jonah smile like that because of Rory. Chase was well aware she was the missing piece this year, he was sad that she hadn't followed suit with everyone else and come here. Wren was also clearly missing her all the time. There was a Rory sized hole in both of their hearts, and it hurt Chase to see that. "Yeah, two days until the boys are headed to the big city" said Chase excitedly. They had been planning this trip all year. It was weird to be going home without Gabrielle, but it was going to be nice. Like he was a regular boy who hadn't gotten tangled up in so much stuff. "My parents can't wait to see you, my mom is obsessed" Chase replied, "and also maybe my sister. Please don't pull a Jonah and date my sister" he joked. Chase knew very well that Jonah was more than happy with Rory, and Amy liked everyone who breathed. She and Chase were most definitely related in that aspect.

It felt good to know that Chase's family liked Jonah, especially because he loved them so much. It hurt to know that Chase was separated from them for this long. Even if it were a few years, there were still important parts of his life that he couldn't share with the rest of his family. Sometimes that's how Jonah felt about Mia. The three Keller kids were no strangers to being separated, but it had been years since he had been around his little sister. Jonah tried to look at the bright side when it came to Chase, though. If he didn't move with Gabrielle, the two would have never met. This friendship meant a lot to him, it was one of the most important relationships he had. What mattered most was that Chase was where he wanted to be. Jonah rolled his eyes and shoved his friend gently, "To be fair, I was Rory's boyfriend before I even met Wren." he said with a smile. His friendship with Wren also meant a lot, the whole group was really special. "But I promise, I will not pull a Jonah a second time in my life. Same goes for you. Mia's been asking about you a lot, and it's sus."

Sometimes Chase thought about fate. How funny it was that everything in his life was leading to him moving. From joining cheer because he was an insecure little twerp who wanted to talk to girls, to finding friends who helped him have the confidence to talk to Gabrielle, to the dates and falling in love for the first time. From there it was the pregnancy and the move, all leading up to him getting to meet all these incredible people. People he would have missed out. Part of him thought about how he would have met Jonah somehow anyways. How their sisters were in school together, and that they became friends without them. That he would have met Jonah and been a friendly stranger to him once, never knowing what could have been. He loved that he was a sentimental fuck sometimes, it meant that he could enjoy life more. "I mean, I've always wanted you to be my real brother. Let's make it brothers in law" said Chase with a smile.

Jonah's jaw dropped dramatically, "So Mia gets to live out my dream by marrying you? Yeah fucking right. I will be an absolute monster at that wedding, I promise you." he said before laughing. He enjoyed the friendship he had with Chase. They were able to make little jokes with each other without it being weird, it was always a fun time. "Besides, getting with my sister will cut into your 'that one time in summer camp' fling. You can't fuck with that trope, it's golden." Jonah was all for him and Gabrielle getting back together, as long as they were both happy with each other, but Chase also deserved a good summer. Whatever his friend was down for, Jonah would support.

"I love it when you get jealous" said Chase with a smirk. They were two funny little pals, weren't they. Jonah made an excellent point, "one time at summer camp does sound like a good way to start a story, I can't pass that up. It's way lamer to say one time at my little sister's graduation I spent time with the love of my life and then married his sister" Chase said as he laughed some more. Maybe Chase did deserve to have some fun this summer. It had been a while.

"Well luckily for me, there's been no need to get jealous. You know, since you haven't been with anyone for a while." Jonah said with a stupid little grin. Would Chase get a little sulky from that? Perhaps. But all the clowning going down in their simp nation groupchat was really getting to Jonah. He was feeling all sassy lately with his friends. Maybe it was this little boost of confidence from having Rory back. "We could have been one year deep into a beautiful relationship, but now I'm a taken man. You've missed your chance." he continued on with the joke. "Yeah that one just doesn't roll off the tongue as nicely. They say shit get's pretty wild at this camp. Who knows what could happen."

"Oh I see how it is, we just live the single life together for so long. The if I can't have you no one can trope is about to kick in. I'm gonna have myself a little chat with Rory" said Chase laughing, they were having fun. Jonah had been happier recently, honestly he'd been doing really well all year. Chase faked a shot to the heart, "you're killing me, Keller" he said with a little laugh, "I'll get you one day". Chase picked up the last of his bags, "we've got a week until camp. Games tonight right? I promise to not let you win" said the boy as he took one last look around the room.

"Wow now you're getting all jealous? Hm, I think I like what I see." Jonah smirked at Chase before laughing. Being around Chase just made everything better. Even with everything going on with Julian, Jonah was still trying to keep his spirits up. "I'll enjoy every moment of the chase." Jonah smiled to himself, not intending the play on words. He then nodded in response as he looked around to make sure they weren't leaving anything behind. "Oh thank you so much, I didn't know you were so selfless." he said with a smile as he placed his hand over his heart. "We should have an ice cream run later tonight. Loser pays, and don't worry, I won't get anything too expensive."

Chase laughed "suck a dick, Jonah. Mine, specifically. Don't you worry I will definitely tell Rory" he said as he flipped him off and headed down to the car and headed back to Gabrielle's guest house for the next few days. Soon enough he would be in the car with Jonah on the way to see his family, and life would be good. For now he had the daunting Hale house in the distance, it emanating its cold vibes into his little safe haven. //END

[mindflayedr-blog]

Being best friends with Bill Denbrough would include:

I know exactly why I’m crying in the club. Why? Oh it’s because I’m not best friends with Bill Denbrough and did I mention that he isn’t real? Yeah. He isn’t real.

Brb lemme take my ass to a corner and cry thanks

(A lil irrelevant but I’m posting another imagine or headcanon after this just bc I reached 500+ followers yayy💓💓 thanks smmmm ❤️)

Him lending you his flannels and him giving you his sweater whenever you get cold.

You going to each other’s houses to hang out, do homework, watch movies, or to simply just talk.

You sitting on the back of his bike whenever you guys go to places

He would pick you up every morning (with Silver of course) and go to school and he also drops you off home

Your parents trust and love Bill so you frequently had sleepovers

During the disappearances, Bill was so protective of you because he didn’t want to lose you like he lost Georgie:

“Do you need a ride home?”

“Bill I’m fine walking home, really.”

“I can’t let you w-walk home by y-yourself, what if s-something happens to you? I don’t want that t-to happen Y/N.”

“Bill, really, it’s fine.”

“It’ll m-make me feel b-better knowing t-that I took y-you home, p-please just let me t-take you home.”

During the disappearances, he would always hold your hand whenever you two hung out at night outside. The other losers would tease Bill about it, but he doesn’t care. He feels at ease while holding your hand because he knows you’re there and you’re not going anywhere. Pennywise would have to tear his fucking hand and arm before he could take you away.

When Bev was kidnapped by IT he didn’t want you to come with him and the losers to rescue her because he was afraid that IT would take you too. He literally yelled at you to stay home and he felt so bad about it afterwards like oh my gosh he cried.

You protested though, you wanted to beat the shit out of that clown for taking Bev so you ended up going and you best believe you beat the shit out of that clown.

Him spoiling you despite your protests. He would always offer to buy you something: Have your eye on a certain chocolate at the convienience store? He’ll buy it for you. Popcorn and drinks at the movies? He’ll pay for it, etc.

During your birthday he goes all out with your gifts. He doesn’t do store bought gifts by the way. One time he wrote you a song (with the help of Ben and Richie lmfao) and he actually performed it even though he was nervous as fuck (that boy can sing holy shit). Another gift of his was a large painting of you sitting at the edge of the quarry (he painted it by memory) fuck it was beautiful. You hung it front and center above your bed headboard and whenever you’re sad you would look at it and instantly felt better.

Sleepovers with Bill are always so fun. You would blast music on your record player and you guys would dance together. Now Bill isn’t really the type of person to just go wild like that, but with you he loosens up a bit.

One time during one of your many sleepovers, you two climbed on top of your roof to stargaze.

One time you dated this guy and he turned out to be a big douche bag, so Bill pulled up outside of the guy’s house (with the losers) and they kinda just gave him a piece of their mind.

You two would always go to school dances together. Some girls would ask Bill to the dance and he would immediately turn them down bc he’s already going with his best friend. You would also do the same.

You guys met when both of you were around 5 years old. He shared his cupcake with you and bam instant friendship.

Whenever you’re feeling down or sad, Bill would always give you flowers.

Piggy. Back. Rides

He would always ask about your day and he genuinely listens because he loves listening to you talk about how your day went.

Whenever he misses Georgie, he would always come to you for comfort.

You’re mostly the subject of his drawings and paintings. He likes drawing and painting you.

Richie would always tease you two because of how close you two are to each other.

Richie would always hit on you and whenever he goes too far, Bill’s always the first one to step in.

You were sometimes Greta’s target for harassment and bullying. When Bill found out that she was bullying you oh man he was so angry. Angry to the point where he confronted her and told her: “Fuck off you annoying bitch, find something else to do other than trying to take down people who are much better than you.” He. Did. Not. Stutter. Once

You take care of each other when one of you is sick.

You guys would sometimes bake cookies together. It was mostly you who did the work though because Bill doesn’t know what he’s doing.

You slept over at Bill’s house one time and you guys stayed up pretttttty late. While staying up, you guys talked about the future. Ya know, marriage and all that crap.

You two made an oath that if neither of you is married before the age of 40, you would marry each other.

You ended up marrying each other by the way. You didn’t even have to wait until the two of you were 40 years old and lonely.

Hello yes, where can I get a Bill Denbrough? Asking for a friend.

[sparda3g]

Tokyo Ghoul:re Chapter 148 Review

As the protagonist is sleeping until 3 days has passed, it’s up for the guy’s best friend to handle the situation. It’s great to see Hide again and I do mean by his normal appearance…mostly. The chapter continues to dive in the turmoil of characters and how the preparation is slowly developing before the next awakening arrives.

The one character that I wanted to see the reaction was Suzuya because after his conflict with Kaneki, there has to be a reaction towards his transformation. The chapter granted me that wish in the very beginning, with the outbreak of Kaneki’s kagune demolishing his comrades. Suzuya was helped by his close comrade Mizurou; interesting because he has been pushed by Ishida since the novel. Hm… Either way, that was a nice save. The sight of Suzuya planning to fight off the kagune from hanging was disturbingly creepy.

The part that got me is when Suzuya announced his next confrontation will be Kaneki’s last or in other words, he will slay the Dragon. It’s not because he thought of killing him that struck me; it’s what transpired to that thought and remembering him as Sasaki is emotional. It does make me rethink about their previous fight and the fact Kaneki was really set to be “captured” does paint him as “still comrade at heart.” Now, he is going to recover and this time, he will finish him off. This really sucks.

The discussion thread within CCG is amusing and stimulating. At first, I thought it was Dr. Ogura that Hide wanted to meet as a specialist, but as predicted, it is Kanou. It’s just that Ogura has a connection with him more or less. It’s pretty neat that Hide has a voice device to allow him to speak; there goes Elizabeth 2.0. It’s a smart way of Ishida to narrow down the possibility of his look, because now we can confirm that his mid-to-upper region of his head is fine and well, but the lower mid-to-neck region interpreted to be “disfigured.” It’s only matter of time that we will see his full display.

I was very engaged with Kanou and his backstory; never thought I would say that. Anyway, like many, he was a good innocent kid; that is until his mother has passed away. It is said that his mother’s death is what motivated him to choose the path that we are witnessing today: sick, scum, and the worst piece of shit. I recalled him looking rather “changed” when he first arrived to the university in that short flashback, so he already shifted his attitude.

The only part that is confusing to me is if that’s the case why not joining CCG in the first place? Did he change that drastically when he decided to use Ghoul for his benefit? In matter of fact, is the idea of using Ghoul research has to do with his mother? It is interpreted that he deeply loved his mother to the very end. So would that mean he is trying to find a way to revive her, even if it will change her to a Ghoul as already stated by Furuta, let alone what we have seen already? Is there more to it? Keep in mind, he once strongly hinted his goal with the ideology of birdcage. It is possible that her mother’s death motivated him, but his goal became diverse.

It does make the research rather stunning though, because you can actually see the progress report that does suggest his mother’s benefit beyond the grave. Would transfer a Ghoul’s organ work on a Human? Yes. Would transfer a different Ghoul’s organ (Owl) work as well? Yes. Would Quinx research increase the success rate and somehow revive a Human? Yes. Would using Noro and probably the recent outbreak research work to revive a Human in separated body parts? That remains to be unanswered, but if he is heading to the graveyard, it could suggest one way or another.

The long waited question has finally been answered: Amon and Akira made it to the scene with Hide no less. This is also interesting as well, because it does drop some clues to Hide’s status from before and perhaps now. I didn’t expect him to be under the radar by Washuu. He has been digging some dirt on everything, so it’s probably why he was deemed as a threat. I wonder if that would mean V Organization got their eyes on him as well.

What’s also intriguing is his explanation as Scarecrow in the past. The Aunction Raid Arc is self-explanatory; finding someone to save him, who ended up being Hinami. The Rue Island confuses me because he insisted to have insurance though still unconfirmed. Who is that “insurance” then? Should I be wondering on the candidate?

The sweet tender scene is with Hide proclaiming that he wants to save Kaneki, even after he failed to save him from transforming to Dragon. Even so, he wants to make up for it, which sounds like it’s going to one emotional reunion if everything goes well… hopefully. While Amon and Akira have a plan, it leaves Hide in question on why doing all of this. The answer is simple: he loves him. Aww…Now, some seems to be thinking romantic and while it can be either way, the most important thing is that he is his best friend to the very end. That’s good enough for me.

The scene with Ghouls is pretty engaging because it wasn’t what I predicted in terms of reaction yet it is believable and perhaps realistic. For starters, Itori saves Yomo; it won’t excuse that bitchy personality underneath. Granted, she is hot, but still. Anyway, I’m surprised how open they are to be with Clowns to Touka and others, but I guess they are being on the neutral act or something. That would still mean that they can toy around with people and what happens next is exactly why I maintain my opinion.

The words Itori uses really have a lot of impacts in them because how she can look calm but deep down she is as manipulative as she was in part 1. She tried to put more guilt towards Touka since Kaneki went on a rampage because of her technically. The people got the most effect from her words because instead of being afraid of Dragon, they begin to praise him as a savior. While CCG is in a panic state, Ghouls are feeling triumphant and that would only paint them as ignorant and disgusting.

This is close to home because I could imagine when something major happens to a third world country, instead of a specific territory, people in one area would heavily praise the action taken place because they feel the need for fairness. I know Ghouls were getting wiped out left and right, but two wrongs don’t make it right. People can be easily manipulated when they lost so much; it’s a scary nature.

Thankfully, the last pages end on a literal high note with Shuu shouting shut up; it’s basically his trademark. I have to admit, I thought it was Touka that burst out screaming; that would be a new sight with that reaction. Joking aside, it’s uplifting to see him to pull the stop on them. He is loyal to Kaneki’s goal, so it’s possible that he will back up his claim in mind. It also fits in to his struggle from the last chapter, so think of this as his new development rather than falling into the same trap.

The artwork is very solid with its character designs and expressions. It’s all clean and sometimes feels impactful. It’s really good to see more old characters coming back in play for one grand attempt to save Kaneki or some sort. Hide, without a smile, still awestruck me with his passionate friendship for Kaneki; proves that artwork without the obvious can be as effective if not more. Shuu does his famous expression, though it left me feeling good to see him standing up and hopefully talk senses out of them.

The calm before storm chapter is here and it’s pretty captivating. It leaves more insightful detail of the characters and more emotional display from them, especially Hide. While there are some saddening reflections, there are also welcoming uplifting scenes to make the scenery calming and tendering. It’s only matter of time when the next strike will bring the storm at its worst.

[rizlowwritessortof]

Fic Tag Game

I was tagged by @eyes-of-a-disney-princess - LOVE your writing, girl, and I’m so glad you finally jumped into the fan-fic abyss!! Can’t wait to read your new ones - you tease! :D

Rules: List the first lines of your last 5-10 stories.  See if there are any patterns, then tag some of your favorite authors.

I have done this before, but it’s been a while. So here goes... (under the cut)

Take a Chance

For fuck’s sake, Dean, you’ve done this a thousand times. You can charm a woman without even breaking a sweat. Why are you so damn nervous?

Because, dumbass, it’s Y/N. This time it’s not some random bar chick that I’ll probably never lay eyes on again. And I don’t want to mess things up. I don’t want to do something that’ll make everything all awkward.

I just want… I just want to be with her. Whatever that means. And I don’t even know how to say that without making things all fucking weird.

Just tell her the truth. Well, the surface truth. Say you’re bored. Take a chance.

She doesn’t need to know you hate being in a separate room from her, that you miss being around her. That you feel not all there when she’s not around, like a piece is missing. That you’re dying to touch her. Like really touch her.

Make You Mine

You climb out of the back seat, tugging your skirt down self-consciously. Dean is staring at your legs, his jaw clenched, and even Sam swallows hard, then turns away.

“Does it look that bad?” you ask, worried for a moment that maybe you’re not dressed appropriately to be an FBI agent.

Sam clears his throat, and Dean growls out, “You look fine.”

You straighten your jacket, lift your chin, and get into the head space you need, a little condescending, a little no-nonsense, like you’re used to getting what you ask for. Dean gives you one more glance and, looking like he’d like to eat someone, leads the way into the police station.

You and Sam trail Dean to the front desk, standing a step behind and flashing your badges dutifully when the officer on duty asks if he can help you. “What can we do for the FBI?” he asks, just a touch of snark behind his words, and you can almost feel Dean’s thunderous frown. He’s been on edge for days, and this day seems to be a bad one. His temper has been unpredictable, his level of patience almost zero, and you cringe a little internally at what his reaction might be.

The Photo Booth

God, this fuckin’ job sucks.

I mean, I know sometimes we have to do things we don’t like to get the information we need. But we’ve been working at this broken-down piece-of-shit carnival for a week now. I’m so goddamn sick of pickin’ up people’s trash and cleaning up after sick kids.

Sam’s being a pain in the ass, too. I mean, I’m dealing with Dad’s death. As much as you can deal with something like that. He’s all up in my grill about my feelings, and all I wanna do is kill something. This damn clown/monster/whatever the hell it is. I just wanna kill something that deserves it.

Ooooh, or something more fun. There she is again. That little piece of heaven that’s been hanging around here for the last couple of days. She’s been pretty damn friendly, too. Had her coming on my fingers in the haunted house last night, she’s just sweet. But I’d like to really get into her, if you know what I mean. God, she’s wearing those little short shorts again, and she’s got a set on her that makes my mouth water. Wonder if she’s feeling friendly tonight, too…

Slow Ride

Holy. Shit.

Seriously, how much is a girl supposed to take? You share rooms with these guys, watch them walk around half-dressed, banter back and forth with them. You take Dean’s suggestive, flirty comments and respond in kind, telling yourself it’s all part of your friendship.

And then he does this.

Of all things, a mechanical bull. You thought those things died out with Urban Cowboy. But now, as you stand watching with your jaw clenched, and your nails digging into your palms, and your thighs clamped together, Dean is riding the fuck out of Larry, the centerpiece of the bar you went into for the sole reason of grabbing some burgers.

You can’t tear your eyes from him as his body sways, looking like he’s part of that saddle. The muscles of his thighs are tight, holding firm, his torso lean and lithe as he moves with it, sinuous and sexy as hell. One arm waves above his head, giving him the balance he needs, the other bicep bunched and bulging beneath the plaid shirt, unbuttoned at the front to allow your eyes to cruise over where his t-shirt clings to his pecs, his ribs, his belly.

The Contest

You sit in the booth, Dean’s arm draped over your shoulder as you lean into his chest, your legs up on the seat, beer in hand. Sam slides back into the seat across from you, answering your smile with one of his own.

It’s a good night, things have evened out for a bit, and you’re all feeling relaxed, almost contented. Sam’s new ‘friend’ had just left, saying she had to work the next day. You’re enjoying hanging with the boys, drinking a few beers. You watch the college kids, early twenties at the most, playing the same games you all used to play, trying to hook up, make some kind of connection.

You let out a happy sigh, looking up at Dean as he watches them, too, a kind of distant smile on his face.

“What?” you ask, and he looks down at you, his smile turning a little sheepish.

“I was just remembering the night… well, the night you opened my eyes.” You blush a little, ducking your head in a vain attempt to hide the amusement curving your lips, and he raises an eyebrow at you, letting loose with a stunning grin. You bump him in the belly with your elbow, and Sam stares at you with a curious gleam in his eye.

“Okay, now I want to hear this story.”

Lose Yourself

Dean is staring up at you, his lips kiss-swollen, his expression dazed and lust-drunk. He’s naked, sprawled on the bed, and you let your eyes travel over him as you consider your options.

The fact that he trusts you enough to let you do this has you on the edge already, and you revel in the delicious torture. His arms are stretched above his head, silken scarves wrapped around each wrist and secured to the headboard, and his fingers are clenched around his bonds, his forearms and biceps flexed. All you’ve done so far is strip down to your lacy black lingerie and kiss him, touching nothing else, yet you are both breathing hard, pulses pounding. His cock is hard and throbbing, leaking pre-cum over his abs, making your mouth water.

But that will have to wait.

You run a finger over his bottom lip, suppressing a shiver as his tongue darts out to touch the tip. “Doing okay, Dean?” you ask softly, looking directly into his eyes and waiting patiently for his answer.

“Fuck, yeah,” he says, the low rumble of his voice making you wince a little at the almost-painful pulse it causes between your thighs.

Patterns: I guess I kind of like the inner monologue as well, I like to hear those thoughts that nobody allows themselves to speak out loud. Especially Dean’s thoughts :) I also like the relationship aspect, the characters knowing each other long term, the complications and realizations that there could be more there than hunting partners and friends. Not that I don’t love a good one time fling, either!! :D 

I’m sure you guys have done this before, so if you don’t want to, no sweat - but I’ll tag @mrs-squirrel-chester  @littlegreenplasticsoldier  @saenalife  @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog

[ilygsd]

110918

the only reason i even like this ugly fkn cunt is because we’re so similar. or at least were, he’s grown a bit more than me so i obviously appreciate his help and experience and knowlege or whatever.

but fuck him in the fucking asshole, not only is he a white man, not only does he get triggered by ”i hate whites/men” and ”ppl listen to u cus ur a white man” and takes it SUPER PERSONALLY and accuse me of fucking attacking him and shit. hes acting like a fucking dick when we’re fighting and the thing is……. HE REFUSES to admit when i say we’re similar in the way we fight??? he’s like ”no, im not” and im like YES BITCH YOU ARE YOU’RE ACTING LIKE A FUCKING CHILD

he’s so fucking aggressive, manipulative, guilt tripping and just…. COLD. i swear what the fuck is wrong with him? i’ve met him 3 times, and we’ve fought 2 times. ive known him for like 2 weeks and we’ve already had 2 major fights??

the only reason im not fucking murdering him on the spot is because 1. im not a fucking idiot. i know my limits. i CANT control him, i CANT manipulate him. i dont have any power over him and 2. i fucking like him?? if i dont apologize he’s going to go on for fucking ever and eternity??? i like him and im actually genuinely sorry that he’s hurt even if he’s a fucking pussy who got triggered over smth as petty

like excuse ME!! the way he fights is REALLY triggering for me??? the first time i was terrified. it was like flashbacks and shit i cried for a whole day and i hadn’t even met him back then. i was SO SCARED and SO SHOCKED. because IT IS I who usually have his position. it is I who usually put people in their places, NOT the other way around. i HATE being scolded, feeling like a worthless little piece of shit

i knew that i should’ve blocked his ass because that can really be SO damaging to me. also there’s a risk im goong to explode as well and we’re just gonna trigger each other and fight to death…. but i didnt because i was too god damn curious of what he had to offer. is it really possible for me to be happy as well? is it really possible for me to heal and grow like him? ERHM well obviously he’s not in his ”complete form” yet, fucking psycho when he get angry, but he’s pretty happy and kind and positive generally

i worried so much about me draining him with my anxiety and issues but he said he wouldnt let me drain him. he said he always put himself first and the he basically would leave if i try to pull anything on him. why the fuck did i even worry about him when he’s trying to manipulate and guilt trip me?? I AM SO PISSED. HE REALLY TRIED TO DO THAT THAT STUPID MOTHERFUCKER.

during our first fight it worked because i was SO SHOCKED, as i said. and i was SCARED. but fuck him in the asshole he really- he really tried to FUCKING DO THAT TO ME

he accuses me of being disrespectful of his limits when he goes fucking bananas, everythings happening so fast i cant even process what just happen, i dont even have the time to apologize cus hes all over and everywhere. and he’s so fucking threatening. he’s like ”if you dont…..” and he doesnt realize what the fuck he’s doing?? i apologize because 1. i hate these fights and 2. i like him i dont want to hurt him but he’s like ”i have nothing to apologize for”

STUPID FUCKING CUNTBAG YOUR UGLY TECHNIQUES ARE WAY OVER MY LIMITS, YOURE DISRESPECTING ME 101919X MORE THAN I EVER DISREPSEXTED U BY CALLING U A WHITE MAN.

(also can we talk abt how this motherfucker understabds that whites and men are privileged but he still doesnt get why reverse oppression isnt a thing and that it is GROUPS that are privileged and NOT individuals??? like he’s that fucking dumb)

that shit actually HURT!!!! i think he’s really immature during fights, i think he’s really fucking pathetic and i’m glad i’ve come to that conclusion rather than beating myself up. yes, i now understand that this is probably what it feels like for the counterpart when im fighting with them and im fuckig sorry that im acting like this psycho

BUT!!!!!! what really HURT was that he HONESTLY TRIED TO MANIPULATE ME. if i hadn’t called his ass out this time he would have gotten away with it AGAIN

bitch, he’s fucking 23 years old. he’s 4 years older than me. he also KNOWS!!!!!! i have a stupid crush on him and he STILL!!!!! TRIED TO GUILT TRIP ME, TRIED TO MAKE ME OBEY AND SUBMIT TO HIM, GET DOWN ON MY KNEES AND BEG

im so pissed and a part of me wish i would just have exploded but i couldnt because it was fucking 1 am and my family was asleep and i couldnt fucking shout at someone over the phone. also it actually made me feel a bit superior and mature when i was all calm and he still was upset (even though he wouldnt admit it, stupid proud brat. his voice changes distinctly). okay YES, i MAY have patronized him a little but also NOT!!! i was just really tired and sad and i still liked him so like….. i was just upset and trying to calm him down

its kind of hilarious how i had to tell him to stop sounding so aggressive and he was like ”im not” and i was like ”yes you are” and so he actually KIND OF stopped and it was easier to talk to him. wow i feel so powerful lmao. omg in really not any better than him am i? i know im not because no matter how much he denies it…….. im literally exactly the same when i fight 😔😔 i tell myself i wasnt like that because i didnt WANT to, because i want to be MATURE but a part of me honestly thinks its just me knowing my place. i like him more than the likes me, he can use that to his advantage, there was no reason or possibility for me to dominate him.

im still very pissed though and just because i like him i still REFUSE to follow him like a little puppy. ive been so worried ALL this time that i wouldnt be able to keep up with him intellectually, that he was too good for me, too smart and too kind. PFFFFFFFT!!! im sorry but i swear i was just idealizing him or smth. its his fucking voice and scent, its like a drug it makes me all calm and dizzy but objectively…. dont fucking let him manipulate you. if he ever makes you feel like yo should apologize and that tou did wrong, ask yourself WHY. an east escape is not the right answer. call him the fuck out. i think and hope he avtually would appreciate it as well……. even though he’s so fucking stubborn and proud OMG HES SO PROUD I CANT, I AM PROUD TOO BUT NOT TO HIM. or maybe a little since i now refuse to fucking message him, maybe a little bit manipulative but no, im still mad, the way he acted lady night was fucked up. why does he have to be so proud with ME???? is it because he doesnt feel as emotionally connected to me as i do? yeah probably

that stupid motherufcker…. when i told him ”instead of threatening me that you’re gonna hung up if i dont ’respect’ aka BEHAVE accordingly…. you could just say ’hey im not comfortable talking right now, i need to hung up’ AND HE WAS LIKE ”but we’re not that close-/but we’re not that emotionally-” or something like that and i was like……. is this dipshit clown really serious?? ”uhhh its more like COMMON SENSE AND RESPECT” and he was like ”yeah maybe…” YEAH MAYBE? NO YOU KNOW IM FUCKING RIGHT

god that piece of shit really thinks he has me wrapped around his finger or something. im attracted to him but what he doesnt understand is that he’s still a plain white man. he had NO IDEA how much im controlling myself by even letting myself fall for a white man. does he really think he can like…. i sont know?? i fucking asked him. because i said ”i dont demand or threaten you” and he was like yeah i know. and i was like woahhh…. wait a second….. ”do you think i dont because i like you? do you think i would just follow you whatever?” and he was like ”im not gonna answer that”

oh my god he really thought didnt he. stupid ass white boy really thought i would choose him over myself or any of my siblings of color. smh poor jack.

im going nuts. okay…. if he EVER pulls something like this again i wont be so sure i’ll be able to handle this on a mature level. the worst thing is though that i HAVE TO. because even when i DO, he’s so fucking ptronizing. like te WHITE MAN just jumped out???? if i were to lose my shit……. ITS SI FRUSTRATING AND ITS EXACTLY WHY I CANT BE WITH A WHITE MAN. i was avtually very fucking calm and he STILL managed to make me feel like i was the ”bad guy”.

ughhhh im fucking insane. this…… whatever the fuck our relationship is cus this boy is apprently only interested in me what the fuck that now even means?? okay so we can like hang out and be physical and cuddle and shit but we’re not a couple and its NOT limited to being exclusively us. apparebtly i should still feel flattered though?? cus he doesnt find anyone attractive and he needs some sort of chemistry??? im sorry boy but i am NOT flattered. you do you, i get it, it takes time for you to fall in love with someone but im obviously still much more emotionally invested. that not your fault. thats my problem. my abandonment and attatchment issues. honestly im so fucked i cant even differ my feelings. my feelings for him are strong but idk what they are. some days i feel like platonic friendship, other days an older brother, a romantic partner and sometimes even a dad/parental figure. like im that fucked up i just need a STRONG BOND i dont care what

i low key hate myself for how i ended the call yesterday. thanks to that, now i cant bring this up again. its too late. the fight is ”over”. i was like ”i still like u bye goodnight sweet dreams” but now im like ”i hate u ugly bitch”.

god my head

[theamericannightmare25]

The Alphabet

A: Athletic- The single driving force in his life. He's physical abilities allowing him to pursue, persist, and persevere. The thing that's cause him the most constant joy and hardest times of his life. Responsible for majority of his biggest connections through his life. B: Bold- Always willing to stand in place when everyone around him chooses to sit. Not afraid to puff out his chest and go against the grain, make the hard choice and stick to his guns. Looking life in the face when it asks "are you willing to die for your love abd your faith" and simply stating with a smile "I Am" C: Courageous- the ability to wake up everyday knowing where he's been and what he's thought. Seeing his demons and accepting them as part of him instead of running from or hiding from them. Having the hard talks with those you love. Standing firm in your ways, abilities, affections, beliefs and yourself. Even if you stand...and die...alone. D: Destructive- seeing the imminent possibility that everyday could blow up in your face without question and without a second thought and deciding to move forward regardless. Allowing himself to be cut down day after day and accepting it as a condition of business, pleasure and love. E: Epitome- being the perfect representation of every mistake you've ever made and wearing it like steel armor forged in the fires of hell. Making your shortcomings your strengths and presenting the aura of imperfect perfection. F: Fatigue- a truly invasive presence in his everyday life. Growing ever tired of trying everyday to move forward only to wake up and find himself in the same place. Or worse...further away. G: Grandios- putting forth the effort to go well above and beyond in a truly outlandish display to prove himself on the regular. Planning AND carrying out a heist. Constantly over stepping his bounds. Crossing lines and disregarding boundaries. Planning small events for days on end and failing to pull them off unsuccessfully on the regular. H: Hope- the thing that that drives his feet to the floor and his eyes forward everyday. The biggest concept in his head that pushes him to keep on fighting that maybe today will be the day. And if not...maybe tomorrow. Because the possible becomes impossible only when you lose hope. I: Inconsistency- the regularly irregular treatment of everyday life. The ability to care so much in one instant about the smallest detail only to change over to a completely uncaring perspective in order to get through your day. Feeling the highest points of human interaction in one instant and feeling so incredibly alone and discarded in the next. J: Jealousy- not only seeing what people have that you can't...but also seeing what people had and knowing you never will. In its purest form, knowing how much better you are but never being able to attain rank beyond your current station. The feeling that his position will never improve because of past events and seeing the glory in others futures that will not include you. K: Kingpin- having the world at his fingertips despite all the illusions of mediocrity surrounding his life. Being able to reach out and touch his surroundings in a way to mold them around himself in any way he chooses. Presenting an aura about himself that others see as nothing less than being the alpha in all scenarios. Its his world. He merely allows you tennantship in it. L: Love- the greatest single thing one person can give another. And if he gives you his...he's giving you the key code to destroy him and all that he is. His fire hardened belief that love never fails presses him forward in fruitless endeavors and gives him faith in those others have discarded and disregarded. But make no mistake...once his love is betrayed, there is no short path to rebuild. M: Monuments- small, seemingly insignificant gestures made or shrines built in private to signify a platform he has put someone or something on. Collections of items to commemorate the funnest of times and the meaningful events in his life. Most of which built on the ruins of previously destroyed kingdoms in his mind, only to join the rest of them in the ashes of his past...or in the bottom of his closet until he can bring himself the throw them out. N: Nightmare- not in the sense of his bad dreams. In the sense of his existence. Instead of claiming to be living one, becoming one. Turning darkness into his home and allowing himself to instill it into others. Be it bringing them into the darkness with him and teaching them to feel its power; or bringing the fear to their doorstep and forcing the shadows to torment them until they jolt awake and find the light. O: Omminous- feeling the universe for what it is. Seeing the feeling in facial expressions and feeling the emotion of a room beyond your average rodeo clown. These are not parlor tricks or carnival games. These are premonitions and gut feelings. These are reading the lines that aren't being written and the words not being said. The truths not being told. He feels it and sees it all. Its burns in his stomach and keeps him awake at night. P: Positivity- not something readily possessed in his world. Through coming up in solitude and darkness he has lost his affinity to look for the light. It burns his eyes, shows his weakness and reveals his scars. It proves his mortality and reminds him that he does feel. Q: Quirky- not what you'd expect from a man of his physical stature. Weird in the oddest of ways. A goofball with a twisted sense of humor and childish affinity for pranks and laughter. Finicky at times with people and relationships. He reads others well but sometimes over looks the obvious...or worse...over sees things that just aren't there. Testy when it comes to interaction. Will shut down if he feels unwelcome or taken for granted. R: Righteous- standing on the side of he believes to be right despite who it causes him to stand against. He's lost friends over it. He's had relationships crumble because of it. He's stood with one friend and against another. Even physically sending one to a hospital because of his truthfully wrong attack on another. His true north does not waiver due to alliance. S: Sacrific- the letting go of one thing for the betterment of another. A sacrifice to the gods to end a drought. Sacrificing a relationship for a sport thats saved your life; a dream job for a shit career; a friendship for brotherhood; yourself for another. T: Timing- simply the most important facet in life. Without it nothing can work. And because of that, the easiest excuse. In sports timing can be the difference between a sack, a pick, a completion or a touchdown. A strike three, a foul ball, a single or home run. In life it can mean the difference between fond memories and happily ever after. In life, the difference between I wish and i will. U: Unconditional- his love is unconditional. He knew it from the start. You can see it in his eyemls. You can feel it from his heart. Possessing the ability to to state factual things without adding the word "but" to them. I want to...but. I'm hungry...but. Most importantly...i love you...but. V: Vitality- being active and strong. He acts with vitality in all walks. From doing the best he can in everyday life to being everything she can handle and more. His appetites are insatiable and his mind is set to purpose. W: Withdrawl- longing for some part of you that's no longer there. Missing a piece of yourself that you've allowed another to keep instead of taking it back. Longing for something gone instead of finding there is often something better or stronger in its place. He longs for his former life when things were simple. Sometimes forgetting that bigger and better things always lie ahead...not behind. X: Xeniel- though not always outwardly, often open to new guests in his life. Genreally friendly behind his shell. Looking for companionship to ease the pain and lessen the silence in his life. Welcoming until given reason to withdraw. Y: Youthful- of young age at heart, despite his jaded mind and broken heart. Will only pass on his youthful ways in order to accomodate the next generation. Never yielding to the ways of his age and only getting smarter about the application of debotchery. Z: Zany- unusual thoughts often creep through his day. Outlandish ideas and crazy thoughts fuel what he claims to be marketing genius and clever punnery. Often making up words to help drive conversations along and break up monotony. Irrational ideas behind real life issues and concepts unbecoming of decent people.