#and also really hitting the grief train this week so that's floating in me brain

[imagymnasia]

personal yelling below the cut, feel free to keep scrolling. I just need to be sappy and hopeful for like two seconds before The Despair tries to take me again.

So first, some context I guess.

I've always loved books; always been a storyteller. And when I realized that writing was something anyone could do, the entire world opened up. (Shout out to my 2nd grade teacher, Mrs. Nutzman. I owe you my life.) And for a long while I wrote for the joy of it, you know? Just because I could. Just because I had stories that needed to be told. Sometimes the story was profound or about processing deep emotion, and sometimes it was making a self-insert OC and kissing your childhood cartoon crush.

You know. Like you do.

And then I graduated and went to college and learned about the world and (for a multitude of reasons that would take me a book to explain fully) I gave up. I lost it. My muse, my motivation, my spark, whatever you want to call it. It was just gone. I stopped writing, I hit the wall, and all that shiny-eyed wonder and joy and purpose simply vanished.

Years pass. I try again, sometimes, but it never sticks. I can't recapture what I had, but neither can I make it anew. I try again. I fail. I try agan, but with less optimism. I fail.

I stop trying.

Fast forward to the pandemic, and discovering a fandom that inspired me so much I started writing fanfic again. I hadn't written fanfic in 20+ years. Hell, I'd barely written ANYTHING since the early 2000s. And it feels good! I'm on a roll. I join zines, I slap stuff on AO3, I trade headcanons with my buddies. It was great! But it wasn't enough. People leave. Fandom fizzles. ButI keep trying.

And I burn out. Again. And I quit. AGAIN.

Then FFXIV took hold of me and I give it one last shot. Just a little; just a TASTE. It's not even writing, I tell myself, as I give my character backstory and watch as she slays gods and falls in love. It's just for me and like one other person, anyway. (Hi, Haj! You are the Newt to my Herman, the Sain to my Kent, and I forever adore you.)

And it's fine. At this point in my story, I'd given up on Writing, but I could play in my little sandbox. Whatever dregs of happiness I could find in my pretend world were enough. Honestly, I was just happy to be imagining again.

And THEN I found more XIV fans, and god help me but they cared? About my character? About her story? About ME? And the fans became friends. And then we started writing together. And then we made a small writing group together. And somehow in the two decades since I decided I was going to Be a Writer I was actually for-real writing again.

So here we are at present day and we're trading fics and talking about poetry and doing writing challenges and sharing prompts and building resources and ??????

[The writer pauses here because she is once again overcome with emotion because the profundity of what is happening hits her all over again.]

...

You know, I was trying to be witty and articulate about this but I just gotta say it: I'm so happy.

I'm so fucking happy it hurts, because this is all I've ever wanted. All I have ever truly wanted was to find a group of friends who love this as much as I do. Who want to write, who want to create, who care what other folks are doing and working on and creating, who cheer for each other and lift up the things we make and say This is Good. This Matters.

Not all of us want to be capital-w Writers (in fact I may be the only one? One of two? I don't know and I haven't asked and that's on me) but the fact that we all came together because this thing that brings me, personally, so much joy ALSO does that for the rest of us? It gives me hope. It is inspiring and beautiful and I am not at all exaggerating when I say that sometimes I am so overwhelmed with emotion just because our little writing corner exists that it brings me to tears.

I'm crying right now.

Community matters. Art matters. And for the first time in my life those two things have finally intersected in this wonderful awkward beautiful messy imperfect incredible space, with people I care about and trust with my whole heart, and I am so

fucking

happy

that I truly do not have the proper words to convey what it means to me.

I feel like I've found a little piece of myself again, a piece I have long neglected and ignored and told it didn't matter---all because it only ever mattered to me, and that just wasn't enough. Dreams long since dead are rising up again; for they were never dead actually, they were just sleeping and now that season is over and it's time to grow again.

So while I'm processing a lot of Big Dark Scary Things right now, I am also thinking of the Good, and holding to hope and defiance and beauty in the face of all that. And I'm going to keep creating, because to do otherwise would be to turn my back on the things that make me, me; to give up is to let Big Dark Scary win, and I refuse to let it take these things from me again.

I don't really know how to end this so I guess I'll just say it's really nice to have direction again, and to have people to share it with. I don't talk about this stuff irl and there are a myriad reasons why that I won't get into.

So. I guess if you're in the group and you've read this then thank you.

It feels weird to thank people for this but I'm truly grateful to each and every one of you. Thanks for being a bright spot in a dark world and giving me a place to actually, fearlessly, be my fucking self. It may seem like a small inconsequential thing but I promise you, it's not.

That's all.

I'm going to go have another cry and eat snacks, now.... and then? Then I will write.

Ioj out.

[norcumii]

Yet more meta from the prior tumblr, originally posted on 12/11/2017.

Mmkay. There’s this post floating around about Obi-Wan’s characterization (link coming up in a minute). I want it on the record that I am all for people characterizing fictional characters however they want, on whatever criteria they have including “because I was in the mood for it,” ‘cause going ‘there’s only one true interpretation’ is totally a dick move.

Nonetheless this post has been slowly driving me bonkers so I’m trying to do the polite thing and make my own post deconstructing it rather than adding to theirs.

Hell, it starts off with “Please can someone explain to me why there’s this fandom thing where Obi Wan is nothing but angst and sads for 20 straight years on Tatooine?”

You betcha.

First off, OP is basing character assessment on the Myers–Briggs Type Indicator. Look. I enjoy personality tests as much as the next person, but that thing is just as useful to behavior prediction as a Facebook quiz about which Disney Princess you are. Here’s a nice convenient article about why which a minimum of digging on Google netted me. MBTI presents archtypes that are sometimes useful for casual commentary, but that is not a diagnostic tool.

So let’s take a look at Obi-Wan, as we see in the movies (and Clone Wars), just after Revenge of the Sith. We have a man who is anywhere from 33 to 38 years old (depending on your version of canon), who has spent the last three years overworking himself at the heart of a hideous civil war that he was essentially drafted for, and oh yes, his side lost. Not only did his side lose, but it got massacred. Yoda was able to feel the death of the Jedi Order as it was happening, do not tell me that Obi-Wan had no idea what was going on too. Meanwhile, Obi-Wan was also dealing with the betrayal of his closest friend (his brother), who tries to kill him. Meanwhile, said brother does kill his wife (pregnant wife) who is a close friend of Obi-Wan’s, right there in front of him. All this leads to Obi-Wan doing the unthinkable: mutilating and then killing his brother – or worse, not being able to kill Anakin, leaving him in torment for another two decades.

There is so much PTSD fodder here, and that doesn’t even touch the betrayals from the clones, nor the question of ‘did he feel the psychic backlash from the chips kicking in and twisting the clones’ minds?’, nor the mental trauma from The Phantom Menace wherein he was replaced, failed his teacher who died in his arms but only after saying ‘that kid what replaced you, you need to train him now,’ and then 10 years of raising a kid when he was literally just sorta-kinda-not-exactly declared an adult himself. He was not prepared for that.

So once Obi-Wan’s handed over Luke (the last remaining link to his brother, who he is now not allowed any contact with since Luke expresses he’s never really met Old Ben) – that’s the first time he’s had to really stop and breathe in over 13 years. Ten years to raise a responsibility he never asked for, was not prepared to handle, and was a reminder of his greatest failure. Three years of running at least a literal third of a galactic war that was stacked against him (did he realize that by the end? That they were being played, and could never have won?).

Yeah, he’s got 20 years to work at recovering from that, but without a skilled therapist that I don’t think you’re going to find on Tatooine, you’re going to be lucky to be functional. I know that Star Wars as a whole doesn’t concern itself with mental health (seriously, mind healers are becoming one of my most cherished additions that Re-Entry brings to the table). That doesn’t mean ignoring it will get you a good character assessment.

Depression and PTSD isn’t going to make someone “a sad, bitter, lonely man” nor does it mean that one will metaphorically “be playing All By Myself on repeat for 20 straight years while sobbing into a cup of Bantha milk.” Depression expresses itself in any number of ways. It can mute things, so that while you laugh and even enjoy life, that joy doesn’t linger, or pales quickly. It can add a haze to everything, so you feel numb and distant. It can make someone who once expressed themselves exuberantly seem calm instead of manic. It doesn’t have to affect one’s wit, or habits of cracking jokes even if those jokes might feel flat and hollow to the speaker.

Sometimes it just leads to going through the motions of living, how one would have approached things Before – but it’s just empty motions.

PTSD can express itself as flashbacks. It can look like nothing until it is reactions to a different time and trauma instead of what is now and present. It can be a person haunted by their past, it can be explosive, it can be quiet and turned inwards. There are days when it doesn’t hit you, there are days when it’s so heavy on your shoulders that it feels like all you can do is sit, stare at a wall, and hope your brain shuts off. Then there are the days when despite that weight, you still need to go get groceries, or make dinner, or fix a vaportator, or fight off wayward Tuskens or something.

Nothing says that depressed and traumatized Obi-Wan wouldn’t sometimes take delight in lightsaber play, or practical jokes. I just don’t think that it would overtake the depression and PTSD.

On top of all of that is what you get when you take a look at the EU. Obi-Wan’s been traumatized since he was a kid. He was bullied through his tweens. He was rejected by the ONLY teacher he could hope to have until the Order booted him to the AgroCorps, at least a week before the official deadline. Then that shuttle crashed, and he saw his first major battle which led to approximately FOUR HUNDRED dead.

At not quite 13. Over the next year (probably less, but let’s be generous), he had to deal with: kidnapping, enslavement and hard labor, an attempted mind wipe, an actual war accompanied by abandonment by his teacher, and his teacher’s prior student trying to blow up his home. By the time Phantom Menace rolls around, we can include: several more wars, 6 months to a year on the run across war-torn Mandalore trying to keep a teenage Satine alive, taking responsibility for the death of Qui-Gon’s Love Interest – and that’s just what’s off the top of my head.

Y’know what’s interesting? During Attack of the Clones, what I see is a man just barely holding his shit together. That scene in Dex’s Diner breaks me, because all I can think of is my time doing food service while going through my own PTSD and depression – and I recognize that empty smile he has for Dex. I know it’s all interpretation, but I can’t help but think he’s faking that smile. That sure, he means it: he’s happy to see a friend, he wants to reassure him, but that doesn’t change the hollow inside that he knows if he lets go and falls into it, he will never climb out.

The war provided an alternative focus. It gave him clear, concrete goals: beat back enemies here and here, keep as many of these people alive as possible, here are resources and here are the end goals. He could legitimately bond with brothers in arms who could grok black humor, who wouldn’t look askance at someone covering long-standing grief and discomfort with banter and flirting, “who winked and witticized his way out of death and imprisonment a million times, who always found something to laugh about or make fun of even in the most difficult situations” – regardless of how inappropriate or relevant that might be to the circumstances.

Sometimes, that laughter is all that keeps you from breaking from all the pain.

Yes, people heal. Yes, he had 20 years to work through that trauma and injury. He’d also be doing it alone, with a legacy of stoicism and philosophies about releasing his emotions into the Force. The last major friendships he had ended in betrayal or in death, and people he depended on tended to either die or betray him.

That’s not something you blithely overcome to play pranks on the locals while watching over the kid of your best friend what you almost killed as he was trying to kill you, like he killed most everyone else you knew and loved. There is so much trauma and pain he’s had to see over the last 20 plus years, and Tatooine is the first time he ever gets to breathe and react.

If you want to write trickster archtype Obi-Wan, I applaud you. Without any sarcasm or mockery: you do you.

Meanwhile, I’ll be writing traumatized Old Ben.

(Many thanks to @morgynleri​ and @elegantmess-southernbelle​ who provided brilliant points and conversation, though I suspect I phrased it with much less grace and coherency than they did)

[swanky-batman]

Cuffed

Cuffed

Draco Malfoy x Reader

Warnings: probably a lot, seeing as Bellatrix is involved- at least swearing, mentions of violence, etc.

Summary: I got this idea from a ‘this is what happens on your birthday’ thing- (Thanks to @i-regret-this-already !!) My prompt was- being handcuffed for life to Bellatrix LeStrange. I hope you like it 😘😘

Masterlist

—————-

You were worn, tired. You had been fighting her off for a while now, at least buying time for people to evacuate the area. No one else needed to be killed by this monster- Bellatrix. Her laugh came through as you weakened a little and she pushed harder.

You shut your eyes, breathing slowly. You were prepared for death, if that’s what it would take.

You heard a loud noise and were thrust forward, hitting your head -hard- and then there was black. This couldn’t be death, could it?

–

You awoke with a massive headache and rubbed your head, feeling a heavy object attached to you. Your eyes popped open and you jolted back, trying to escape.

Bellatrix. She was attached to your hand. You pulled at the magical aura around it, wishing your way out- clawing, scraping.

Her eyes opened, “We’re stuck, idiot. You’ve got a hard head.” She looked annoyed.

“What. Is. Happening?” You gasped, trying to run through everything that went down.

“I was about to kill you- flash of magic- someone threw these out, while both of our magic was near it- we’re stuck- and I can’t even kill you or remove your wrist because it’s also trapping our magic.” She gave a wicked look.

You looked around. “Oh, for heaven’s sakes we’re at your blasted precious Hogwarts. It’s like I have to explain everything to you.”

You had a feeling that if she could, her hands would be across her chest right now- she seemed thoroughly pissed.

“You’re right, I should have guessed all of that since I’ve been awake for all of… three minutes?” You looked around again and saw things floating around you. “Monitoring us?”

“There you go, using that brain for something.” She slowly clapped.

You groaned, “I’d rather have died.”

“I’d love to oblige.” She frowned.

–

Over the course of the next couple days, people from all over school came by to gawk. Not greet, or ask, or help. Gawk. And gossip.

Minerva and Snape came up and explained they was trying to work on fixing this, but without knowing who the person was that cast it- they couldn’t figure a way out of it.

Slytherins worked their way closer and were watched by Snape- so they were allowed to stop at the side of the bed.

“Hello my young pretty.” Bellatrix greeted the one morning, you looking up from the book you had been studying from. Draco Malfoy. Smug, sassy little daddy’s boy if what was said is to be believed. Also, an alleged Deatheater in training.

“Is there anything I can get for you?” He asked, nodding his head towards her.

“A handsaw for my lovely companion?” She laughed wickedly as you rolled your eyes.

He looked over and set his jaw a little, unimpressed.

“Good grief. It’s bad enough I have to be stuck with Slytherin but now I have this?” You sighed, throwing your headphones on and returning to studying.

He stayed for a couple more minutes and left, you meeting his eyes for a quick second as he sneered. If they had been planning to kill you, oh well. You had enough on your plate already.

–

You were released from the hospital wing the next morning and had to go to class. Everything was awkward- she was attached on your right side (luckily you were a lefty), but everything you did with two hands was more difficult. And you wouldn’t even get started on using the restroom with her- not only was it uncomfortable and super awkward (for both of you, either time one of you used it) but figuring out how to do it in a stall with other people around was a mess.

Classes were horrible, Bellatrix disturbed everyone almost every minute. Laughing, making fun of anyone who answered incorrectly she would loudly go 'Ahh!’ Like a buzzer. Snape’s face was beyond priceless, you’d admit. Your own face was buried in your free hand the majority of the class.

“I don’t know why you’re so embarrassed, love. These people don’t seem anything to get worked up over.” She sneered, looking at a pair of passing students.

“I still have to go here. Don’t you think about anyone besides yourself?”

“My lord.”

“Only because he’s promised you things once he rises from power.” You snorted and she raised her hand. You flinched but she didn’t connect.

You opened your eyes, turning. Draco Malfoy had caught her hand- there were surprises left in this world.

“The Dark Lord doesn’t want any talk. More talk.” He mumbled. “He sent word-” He met your eyes and looked down, “Not to harm her. Not yet, anyways.”

She frowned, “I’m so bored!” She growled.

“I’ll bring you some stuff tomorrow to try and help.” He smirked.

“I want it now.” She shouted.

“Baby sounds cranky.” You mumbled out, turning away from their conversation.

You heard a chuckle from Draco before he walked away.

–

Later on, you were studying in the library, trying to tone out Bellatrix and her annoyed little grunting by turning the volume on your headphones all the way up.

She tapped you, repeatedly.

“What?!” You barked after a minute, pulling them off your head.

“You were mumbling something- what is that?” She asked, looking at it, sipping on a drink and you noticed Draco was there too, staring.

“It’s a muggle contraption- a gift from my muggle parents.” You smirked as she tried to back away in horror, probably screaming mud blood and you put the volume all the way up.

You spotted Draco in her little struggle chuckling from the other side of the desk. He watched you intently as you tried to study.

Almost an hour later, after Ms. Melodramatic finally calmed down she tapped you again.

“For the love of-” You flicked off the headphones again, glaring at her. “What?”

She pouted, “Tell me what they are!”

“They’re headphones.” You tugged on the chord a little, “They feed me sounds through this device and it plays music.”

“It plays music?” She tried to get closer. Even Draco was entertained and leaned forward. “How?”

You sighed, sliding them off from your neck and placing them around her ears, remembering to turn the volume down. You pressed play on your CD player and she jumped a little, startled. Draco waited anxiously, wondering what was happening.

After a minute or so she nodded along with the music, apparently content with this. You paused it and she pouted, “Why did it stop?”

“Look, the people who did this are muggles, the people who created this contraption is a muggle, and my muggle-born ears were on the same headphones.” 

“Something they finally got right.” She snorted, upset when I removed them from around her neck.

Malfoy leaned closer to you, and you sighed. “Want a go?” He paused for a moment before nodding. You stood up and placed the headphones on his head. You pressed play again and he was also startled.

You giggled, “It’s like you guys are stuck behind times, even with magic.”

Bellatrix, after trying to be patient for a minute as you let him listen and then took them off of him, immediately demanded that she have one.

“I can ask father, but I don’t think he knows where to get one.” He frowned a little.

You sighed, putting the headphones back on your own head, “If you get me the money I’ll have my parents send a set for her.”

“Erm,” He cleared his throat, “Could you make it two sets?”

You looked up from your page and giggled, “Sure.”

—

A couple of days later, after a lot of hours of studying with Bellatrix and Malfoy being around- they finally arrived.

You showed them both how to put the batteries in, gave them a supply- but forgot that they needed CD’s. You brought your collection down to the library that you had brought from home- well, at least a handful.

You stopped them after they went to scatter, “They’re fragile! It can break easily, and if you scratch it it’ll ruin part of the track.”

They both stopped and gently moved your stack of things and you were surprised that they had listened.

Bellatrix went through 4 CD’s that she ‘liked the cover art on’ but didn’t apparently like the music. So you grabbed a pop CD that you brought over and put it in. She seemed content. Draco picked through a couple of CD’s, seemingly unsure of what to choose.

“I would say something a little more hardcore, but I’m going to take a wild stab here and go with ‘Alternative’.” You had a gut feeling, going through a couple of the options, handing him one. “Try this.”

He nodded a little, “Thank you.”

You turned and went back to studying with your own music.

–

Weeks flew by and you were studying for exams, Draco and Bellatrix almost always around- they were very happy with the ‘magical muggle contraptions’ and continued to ransack your music.

One night, you were awoken by Snape, who shushed you. You were confused but obeyed as he studied the device joining you both.

The next day, Dumbledore called you into his office. You dragged Bellatrix along, her bopping along to music. Him and Snape both looked at you, a little concerned.

“It’s nothing- a present so I could study.” You mumbled, “You find something out?”

“We think it’s the work of one of he-who-shall-not-be-named’s apprentices.”

“So you can undo it now?” You asked, a little hopeful. 

They nodded in confirmation, “We think so.”

“Then do it.” You blurted out, tapping Bellatrix. She took them out and you informed her.

“Which one of those little runts did this?” She looked pissed as you could hear 2 Legit 2 Quit blasting from her headphones, making you snort a little with laughter.

“We’re still figuring it out, but either way we can undo it by this evening.” Snape answered, shooing you out.

The rest of the day you caught glances from her that looked almost sad, through her headphones.

After classes, you walked to your normal seat in the library. Neither of you had music on and neither one of you had really said anything.

“So,” You cleared, “You’ll be running once they undo this, yeah?”

She nodded a little, “Have to or they’ll lock me up.”

“Right.” You chuckled, Draco coming over with his headphones on.

“Hello.” He greeted and pulled them off a little.

“We’re in a moment.” Bellatrix stomped. “I don’t get these.”

“Why, what’s wrong?” He asked.

“We’re getting out of this thing tonight.” You raised your wrist, “Before you leave, I wanted you to have these.” You rustled through your bag and handed her a stack of CD’s.

She took them, holding them to her chest, “Thank you, mudblood.”

“You’re welcome.” You giggled and she hugged you, briefly, before placing the CD’s gently in her own bag.

“So I guess that’ll be it then.” Draco shifted a little from the other side.

“Don’t worry.” You smiled, reaching in your bag again, “I brought some for you to keep, too.”

He paused, taking them after a moment and met your eyes, nodding. “Thank you.”

Dumbledore summoned you both just minutes later and you both walked away- the procedure seemed quick, although Snape looked annoyed to be using some of the ingredients.

After the flash there was a quick glance towards you with a sad smile which you returned before she escaped.

You were checked over and sent on your way. The whole night was different. You didn’t have constant supervision, someone by you at all times.

–

The next day, you kept your headphones in every time you weren’t in class. People were still looking at you strangely or moving away from you.

Someone tapped you as you were walking in the halls and you turned to face Draco.

He cleared his throat, “I just wanted to check to see if you were alright.”

“I’m alright, thanks.” You nodded to him, “Is- did she get back alright?” You looked around a little.

He nodded, chuckling a little, “Father says she gets annoyed with him and then puts on her contraption.”

You giggled, “Of course she does. Glad I could help.” 

You both stood there for a moment. “Well, I should get to my next class.”

He nodded, “I’ll see you around?”

You nodded, waving.

After classes, you went back to the library desk- and were surprised to see Draco already there, studying and listening to music. You waved slightly, sitting down across from him. He waved back and you both studied together.

You went to leave that night and got tapped on the shoulder again by him, and you slid your headphones off. 

“Yes?” You asked with a slight smile.

“I was wondering if you could take me to a muggle shop that sells more of these?” He held up a CD.

You blushed a little, nodding, “I’d like that.”

“Call it-” He cleared his throat, “A date?”

You almost dropped your bag, your jaw falling open.

He audibly gulped, waiting. “Unless-”

“No, I’d like that.” You nodded, cheeks red.

“You would?” He snapped his attention to your face, eyes searching.

“I would.” You stepped closer and kissed him on the cheek before walking down the hall.

———–

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[wsmith215]

Mental health challenges during the coronavirus pandemic – 60 Minutes

Hundreds of millions of Americans are at home. Most of them don’t want to be. Simple choices about what to touch, where to walk and what to wear are fraught. More than 100,000 people have died worldwide, and fears of how much more those numbers could grow have stopped much of daily life. But the bills have not stopped coming, though the paychecks in some cases have. We don’t know when it will end. It’s a recipe for anxiety, stress, and grief which puts more of us than ever before in a struggle to stay well. The regimen of physical hygiene is well-established: wash your hands; stay six feet away, cover your face. But the rules for good mental hygiene are not as clear. Psychologists told us that after Americans get past the worst of it, the worst of it may not be over. There may be mental health aftershocks. It’s hard to predict, and living with that unpredictability is part of the challenge.

John Dickerson: What does it feel like when that phone rings?

Francesca Santacroce: We run and we pick it up right away. And we’re just waiting.  Just we don’t know what to expect. We don’t know if they’re going to tell us good news or bad news. We’re just really anxious about it.

Francesca Santacroce

Francesca Santacroce is describing the daily update from the hospital treating her father Joseph, a COVID-19 patient on a ventilator. Before the coronavirus hit her home in the close residential neighborhood of Staten Island, New York, her father took care of the family while Francesca worked in a doctor’s office, saving money for medical school. A 23-year-old biomolecular sciences major, she is the first in her family to graduate college. But when we first interviewed her, at the approved distance, in her driveway two weeks ago, Francesca was shouldering her father’s duties, cooking, cleaning and caring for her 16-year-old sister, and mother, who needs five days a week of home dialysis. This video was shot by Francesca’s sister on a cellphone, after their mother was also diagnosed with COVID-19.

Francesca Santacroce: I literally feel like I’m about to shatter in a million pieces right now. I feel like one wrong move and I’m going to break. And I’m going to fall apart. But I know that I can’t. I can’t do that. Because I need to take care of my family right now.

John Dickerson: You’ve been doing this now for a week…

Francesca Santacroce: Yeah.

John Dickerson: How long do you think it’s going to last?

Francesca Santacroce: We don’t know. The doctors don’t. We don’t know. And I don’t care how long it takes, as long as he comes home.

Uncertainty. Anguish and hope. In the age of coronavirus, it’s not just Francesca who is straining. The pandemic that has rocked her family has touched nearly every American life.

Daniel Kaplin: In the last few weeks, I think, COVID has dominated all my sessions.

Daniel Kaplin

Daniel Kaplin is president of the New York State Psychological Association and Francesca’s therapist. He spoke to us with her permission. 

John Dickerson: Everybody’s racing to get back to their previous lives. But once that moment comes, what psychological effects of this do you think will linger?

Daniel Kaplin: I don’t think the world’s going to be the same. I think the loss of jobs–  even after the virus is gone, people are still going to struggle. They’re going to struggle with, “How am I going to pay my rent, my mortgage? How am I going to feed my family?” So, it’s going to be an ongoing stressor for many people in this country.

John Dickerson: And there’s also a psychological benefit to doing productive work–

Daniel Kaplin: Sure. Right. What do you do when a person had their identity taken away from them because they no longer can work?

John Dickerson: Their identity taken away from them and then they can’t move about to replace that identity with any other useful, purposeful activity.

Daniel Kaplin: Absolutely. Yeah.

John Dickerson: It’s a double whammy.

Daniel Kaplin: Yeah. It is.

Days blend together when so much of what used to distinguish them has been paused. Bridge club is on hold. Graduation ceremonies are cancelled. This week’s religious services have been virtual. Those who live alone are vulnerable, particularly the elderly. But Kaplin says we must all fight against the blurring of the days by establishing a routine. 

John Dickerson: What happens if you don’t have routine? 

Daniel Kaplin: When you don’t have that structure, that routine– can, for some people, reduce their motivation to do the activities that they still need to do, but from home. And long term, they can become overwhelmed, “Oh, I’m not accomplishing my goals.” And then they could spiral into a depression.

Many of us look for connection in social media and the news, but too much of that can be harmful. A preliminary study done in China after the outbreak found that high social media exposure nearly doubled one’s chances of depression and anxiety.

Dr. Yuval Neria: We know already from previous disasters that ongoing anxiety during trauma is a huge risk factor for PTSD and depression in the long term.  

Yuval Neria is the director of trauma and post traumatic stress disorder at the New York State Psychiatric Institute. He’s a former Israeli tank commander whose own traumatic experiences in the 1973 Yom Kippur War informed his career studying the brains of veterans with PTSD.

Dr. Yuval Neria

Dr. Yuval Neria: The brain is really obsessed about identification of fear, you know, of what is safe and what is dangerous.

John Dickerson: And what I wonder about though, there is the part of the brain that is always alive to fear. Part of the brain that says, “It’s okay, don’t be fearful, you’ve been through this before.” But we’ve never been through this before so…

Dr. Yuval Neria: Oh, that’s so true what you just said, because most of us don’t have a comparable memory or set of memories that can serve our understanding of what’s going on right now.

Neria led research and training efforts in New York in the aftermath of the 9/11 attacks, which has led him to be particularly concerned about the health care workers on the front lines of this pandemic.

Dr. Yuval Neria: I mean we saw that after 9/11. We saw how many first responders really left out without sufficient medical care and psychiatric care.

John Dickerson: In New York City, at 7 o’clock, people open their windows, they applaud. But then what happens when the clapping stops?

Dr. Yuval Neria: Right.

Neria estimates that after 9/11, 1% to 5% of New Yorkers suffered from PTSD four years after the attack. He worries there will not be a plan or enough money this time to treat a similar share of a vastly greater population.

Dr. Yuval Neria: There is kind of almost like a honeymoon phase right now. There is consensus, high adrenaline, adrenaline, and let’s do it together. I think once this is ended, and we face the reality of the aftermath, coupled with financial difficulties and shortage of services– all of those things can rapidly elevate the risk for a second pandemic, which will be a mental health pandemic.

The cascading challenges were already falling on Francesca Santacroce, who was managing them through therapy. But the day after we first talked to her, the hospital called. Her father Joseph Santacroce passed away. He was 50 years old. 

John Dickerson: Francesca, I’m very, very sorry about your father. 

Francesa told us she had been unable to see or speak to her father in the hospital, but after he died, she was given permission to enter the intensive care unit.    Francesca Santacroce: And they walked me through the ICU to see him. And just to see all those people on ventilators, it was really sad. As I walked in, the nursing staff, all the physicians, everyone who was on his case, they were– they were crying too. They were so upset and he looked like he was sleeping honestly. And I said to him, “I’m here. I’m going to take care of everyone. You know, and everyone’s in good hands. You know, I got this.” And I told him I loved him. And that he can, you know, that he can go to heaven and I’ll take care of everyone down here.

Francesca’s first task was taking care of her father’s belongings and his car which he had driven to the hospital. 

John Dickerson: And what was going through your head, Francesca, as you were driving home?

Francesca Santacroce: I apologized to him.

John Dickerson: Apologized why?

Francesca Santacroce: I was so sad that he had to, you know, go through that alone. He had to spend his last– last week in quarantine, you know. He didn’t get to talk to us or see us. I wish that I was able to hug him one last time and tell him I loved him one last time and, you know, have him play a joke on me one last time. If I would’ve known that this was coming, I would’ve used that time more wisely. 

Daniel Kaplin: One of the areas of guilt and regret is not being able to say good-bye. 

John Dickerson: What do you think are the challenges that Francesca now faces?

Daniel Kaplin: She’s in her early 20s. She is not financially secure. Mom is medically fragile. Just the anxiety around, “How do you float the household,” and then long term– how does she take care of the family while truly pursuing her dreams?

Wynton Marsalis honors father on 60 Minutes

The day Francesca learned of her father’s death, jazz great Wynton Marsalis’ father checked into a hospital. 

Wynton Marsalis: He was in New Orleans.   John Dickerson: And you were in New York?

Wynton Marsalis: I was in New York. I was kind of torn between, if I go down there, he doesn’t have it, and I bring it to him, it’s going to be worse. 

Four days later, Ellis Marsalis, a respected jazz musician and teacher, passed away from complications of COVID-19. He was 85 years old.

Wynton Marsalis: He just didn’t complain. He had a world view. He said, “Man, I don’t determine my time.” He said, “The fact that you lose a loved one is no more significant than all the other people who are losing loved ones.” And that was always his philosophy. 

John Dickerson: We’re all part of the same human family.

Wynton Marsalis: He felt that. He believed it. He played it. He taught it. And– you know, and he accepted death in that way, also.

While Marsalis grieves, he is also responsible for Jazz at Lincoln Center, where he is managing and artistic director. The nonprofit has had to close its performance space and has lost millions of dollars. And Marsalis says things are even harder for freelance musicians.

Wynton Marsalis: My father was a freelance musician. If this had happened when we were growing up, we would literally just have to go from house to house on our street and– just to eat. This is a very serious time– for the survival of a lot of our musicians. 

A man used to juggling projects, he once contributed to this broadcast, Marsalis has been touching base with musicians around the world and trying to raise money for Jazz at Lincoln Center and also for struggling artists. All of this returns him to the lessons of his father. 

John Dickerson: So if he taught you about philosophy as much as about music– what would his advice be for this moment we are in, where we’re sitting in an empty theater, we don’t know when this is going to end, people are suffering.

Wynton Marsalis: You know, he would say, you know– “Where you at, man? What are you gonna do?” He said, “You talkin’ about doin’? You doin’? Do sumpin’. Let’s go.”

Wynton Marsalis with correspondent John Dickerson.

John Dickerson: So how does that work when you’re talking to all the people who are involved at Jazz at Lincoln Center, and you’re–

Wynton Marsalis: I say almost the same mantra. You know, we– we’re in a bad position. And we’re not going to get out of this overnight. But everybody is in our position. So let’s embrace this space. Let’s work on the trust that we’ve built up all of these years. Let’s go out and make stuff happen that we want to see happen, we have to move very fast, but we have to be even more process-oriented and more deliberate. And that’s how you master a moment of chaos. And that is also the strength of jazz. 

John Dickerson: I was just going to say, jazz – all of that practice, and then in the moment, you have to be ready–

Wynton Marsalis: That’s right. You marshal all your forces.

John Dickerson:  And be ready to improvise.

Wynton Marsalis: And be ready to meet the demands of that moment. Another thing that we say to each other is, “Let’s see if we are who we said we were before we had to deal with this.” When…

John Dickerson: And what does that mean? 

Wynton Marsalis: When everything is normal, it’s easy for us to be full. Full of arrogance and commentary. Now we have to be for real. Our morality, our concept, our integrity, All these things are coming to bear in this moment. 

John Dickerson: Because it’s a test.

Wynton Marsalis: Yeah, let’s see, man.

Wynton Marsalis: We have a tendency to hear all the negative. Everybody’s dying, this and that, skull and crossbones. There’s also this reaffirmation of what makes us great, not just as– people in a country, as human beings.

Recognizing the good amidst the sorrow is at the heart of the second-line funeral celebrations of Marsalis’ native Louisiana. When his mother died three years ago the jazz community took up their instruments. For Ellis Marsalis that celebration will be delayed.

John Dickerson: Since we’re here in this beautiful space, would you– like to play anything for your father?

Wynton Marsalis: Oh yeah, definitely. 

John Dickerson: Yeah. 

Wynton Marsalis: I’ll play something for him. I wanna– wanna lay down my burden down by the riverside.

Produced by Andy Court. Associate producer, Evie Salomon. Broadcast associate, Claire Fahy. Edited by April Wilson.

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[fmlfpl]

Lineup Lamentations - GW7

Our Transfers, Captains, and Starting 11s for the week!

—

WALSH

TRANSFERS:

OUT: McGinn

IN: Mount

Okay fam, I fucked up this week.

Hands in the air this one is on me but I fucked myself by not moving on Wednesday before price changes where both Tammy and Mount went up so I am 0.1 away now from doing the double swap.

Was waiting for all the cup games to end and then was planning on getting Tammy in before his rise...totally forgot... Mount rose as well and so fuck me. Vacation mode throwing me properly off over here so what can I do? I am but a flawed human and I will live with the consequences of my dumbassedry.

Ultimately I am feeling that removing McGinn is better than removing Haller especially with this news that Lanzini has been training and is back. I just don't think Villa look very good in general and will continue to seriously struggle for goals even though McGinn has good underlying numbers and shit I think he's just a bit meh.

Haller has been bad but looks incredible irl eye test and so who knows the fixture is pretty good from an attacking sense maybe I get really lucky here but I will not tell you all any lies... it feels fucking bad to not have Tamela in this moment. I did contemplate a hit to get Tam in but ultimately felt like it had more of a chance to blow up in my face than work out gangbusters so I'm going to just do the one move...float...and check out what is what next gameweek with two frees after UCL and shit. Seems okay...

Who am I kidding? complete nightmare disaster I'm dumb and I hate myself.

GK:

Pope (avl)

Pope remains from GW1 after popping back into the good graces with a clean last week. Still great fixtures and he's great so an easy hold set and forget type of lad. Good boy Pope.

DEF:

Three at the back for me this gameweek in an unusual turn of events for my squadron.

Alexander-Arnold & Robertson (shu)

Trent and R0bbo go to Sheffield United in what should be a clean banker. If Sheffu can only muster two shots against Everton then not expecting fireworks here against Livp. Granted they are home...but still..come on. Get it done here boys...time for another clean.

Otamendi (eve)

Third guy is NicoOta who somehow just threw up a ridiculous haul last game. Maybe the answer is just Dinho in and they'll keep cleaning like we thought they would. Who knows. I don't and I still think (read: know) Ota is a nightmare but at the moment the price is right and the nail is on.

At Everton suddenly seems like a dreamland fixture as they drag their feet until their manager gets the sack lunch. Get in.

MID:

Salah (shu) & Sterling & De Bruyne (eve)

Still on the three big boppers Mo, Raz, and Kevin.

All three great guys, I’m happy to see people selling Raz hope he drops 1m in price he is going nowhere from my team little razzy baby will come back with a vengeance to punish the non believing heathens.

Mo looked really bad and off it last game so hopefully his touch is back and he can do something this weekend.

Mount (BHA)

New boy Mount goes for me and it feels nice to be part of the mounted cavalry division. Nice little fixture run and still a good price. I really want to get in Maddo soon but Mount seems basically the same thing with a bit lower price no knock and better fixtures at least for right now.

Not sure why I'm talking about Maddo here but I am so that's cool.

Cantwell (cry)

Finally, Todd goes to Selhurst in what should be a who knows what the fuck it will be kind of a game. I could see anything from 0-0 snoozefest worst thing of life to a 4-2 barn burner. Either way, I believe in Todd and I love Todd so I'm going to throw him out in the XI for the near term and see how he rolls.

FWD:

Pukki (cry)

Pukki still in of course..good guy still is good.

Haller (bou)

Haller still in as well...yikes. Pretty massively and utterly terrified of not owning Tammy even more so typing this out now so just gotta hope I get away with it. Eek.

CAP:

Sterling (eve)

Raz gets the armband again.

Was chatting about it in Slack just before typing up lambs and the honest truth of the matter is if I twist off Raz cap after all these weeks of mental anguish to see him spike this game at Goodison I would just be completely beside myself with grief.

I don't want that, so I'm going to just stay with the boy and hope he wakes up on the right side of the bed tomorrow and destroys Everton.

—

ALON

TRANSFERS:

OUT: Diop

IN: Tomori

I wavered back and forth on this one because Diop and West Ham have kept three cleans in a row and have really good home bankers coming up and all that good shit.... BUTTTTTTTT... they’re still bad at defending. They really are. The cleans have been nice but felt pretty lucky. They had Manchester United which is arguably best cleansheet fixture in the league and I got my points and so now I’m bailing.

Tomori has almost identical home fixtures to Diop coming up and I’m taking a swing that with Kante back (and Rudiger soon) they are a better team and better defense then West Ham... So in the equal home fixtures I prefer Tomori and then in the aways I feel like West Ham have relatively no chance at a clean (for example this week away to Bournemouth I see them conceding two or three) whereas Tomori and Chelsea away Southampton and away Burnley and away Watford coming up I’m like yeah I could see it, maybe clean one of those if I’m lucky clean two of those? That seems not farfetched to me.

It’s fucking weird buying a defender for a team with no cleans but comparatively to West Ham I think I’m getting in a step ahead here and hopefully it pays me back :)... Come on you Fikayo.

GK:

Gunn (tot)

Spurs are kind of shit but also this is like a 1% chance of a clean for Gunn.

My biggest mistake on Wildcard was not finding the 0.1 somewhere (SEE: MARTIN KELLY) and going Pope over Gunn but honestly I’m just gonna stick by Angus “Gunn to my head” Gunn through these difficult fixtures and just hope he racks up some saves and bones and the odd clean here and there and then their fixtures turn in GW12 and maybe it’ll all be fine.

Maybe.

DEF:

Tomori (BHA)

Good cleanable fixture. Not AMAZING but a solidly good clean shout at home. Come on lad.

Lowton (avl)

Another solid clean shout here.

Away is obviously tougher but Aston Villa struggle to create big chances and with how deep Burnley set up it will be tough to get behind them and counter them... I feel like a defensive howler from Mee or Tarko will be Villa’s best chance of the game. Hopefully it comes clean for me.

Söyüncü (NEW)

The fucking kid. I love Soy so much.

This should be a very straight forward clean. Hopefully Soy doesn’t do something absolutely insane and concede a penno for no reason and it’s just an easy job with bones and shit. Come on SoyyyyyBoyyyyyLadddddd.

MID:

Salah (shu), Sterling & De Bruyne (eve)

Lottttt of aways this week for me which does not feel terrific at all.

Salah is easiest hold ever despite a bit of a slow start underlying numbers.

Raz had his 0 minutes played early doors and should be back in there firing on all cylinders and Kevin requires no words. If ya didn’t jump immediately on Kevin after GW1 or GW2 then we haven’t been watching the same shit and you clearly don’t listen to a word that Walsh and I say so fuck you anyways.

Cantwell (cry)

The aways just keep coming and I don’t like it...

Palace are tough to break down but they’re also WAY worse at home and love nothing more but conceding possession... This will be a really really interesting game to see how Norwich do when they have ~65% of the ball and have to break down the Woy bus factory.

I expect good things but I’m a little nervous.

FWD:

Agüero (eve)

Kun is real good.

Pukki (cry)

Check what I said above about Todd and apply the same down here to Teemu.

Abraham (BHA)

Tammy is putting up gigantic elite numbers and I see no reason why that won’t continue. Outside of Man City Tammy has the best non-penalty expected goals per 90 in the entire league. Ya love to see it.

The one caveat that I have is that Brighton are pretty good.

BHA have middle of the pack defensive numbers despite facing Man City already this season and they just seem solidly like a mid-table maybe top 10 team.

Potter is great and has completely transformed how they set up and play and they’re just good. People thinking that this will be a Chelsea easy walk in the park 4-0 ass fucking I think are very misguided and relying too much on the color of the fixture on the FPL site and not using data, team stats, brains, etc...

CAP:

Agüero (eve)

This did not take me long to sort out. Kun is on fire, City are the best attacking team in the world as usual, and Everton aren’t great. Hopefully Kun hauls in a loss then I’m in dreamland ;)...

It’s a bummer that it’s away but he’s still Kun and can score a hat trick vs. any non-Liverpool opponent away from home. You might call me not a home/away splits believer.

Come on Kun do it baby boy, Everton are ripe for a destruction... And if City score early the fucking pitchforks will be out at Goodison and Silva and the Everton players should crumble under the immense negativity and booing and horribleness.

—

NOT RANDOM SLACKER: DEREK

Fresh off of IRL pod we assigned Lambs this week to the one and only Derek.

TRANSFERS:

OUT: Coleman

IN: Otamendi

Mentioned on the pod, easy transfer: defender on terrible looking Everton team for an attacking City defender with a great fixture run for the same price.

Seamus got me a couple cleans early and had some great chances for a dong but at this moment cannot be more thrilled to take him out of my team.

This was my plan since before last GW.. sucks I missed Ota's absurd game vs. Twatford but regardless, I'm very happy with this pick.

GK:

Pope (avl)

New friend to the team last week brought me a clean sheet. Hoping for the same this week with Villa away.

Burnley has a nice run coming so expecting some cleans from him.

DEF:

Otamendi (eve)

New transfer in.

I don't love him as a defender and we all know he's struggled at times this year but with Dinho seemingly slotted to the LCB position I’m hoping City can stay relatively tight and keep some cleans on this run.

And with Kevin's super precise set piece deliveries so far this year (and all the time when he is healthy and right), I'm expecting Ota to continue to find his head on some of these balls for some more dongs.

Robertson and van Dijk (shu)

Two lads who have been on my team since GW1.

At this point, cleans haven't been plentiful like how I imagined but a goal and two assists from them is still solid and I expect Liverpool to improve on the defensive front. Sheffield should be staying pretty tight in the back at home so this fixture feels very cleanable.

MID:

Sterling and De Bruyne (eve)

Just two guys on the most potent, explosive attacking team in the league. It's time tor Raz to get some returns for the first time since GW3. Yikes.

Salah (shu)

Mo will be Mo and continue to do Mo things AKA return return return. Even having a shitty ass game like last week, he still got me an assist.

Mount (BHA)

I've had the Fat Frank loving youngster since GW3 and he's price risen 6 times since then which is wild but still think he's a great value pick for those who do not have him.

On the year he has 3 goals in 6, constantly finds himself in the box with good chances, and with this great fixture run coming up, I expect him to continue to tick.

FWD:

Pukki (cry)

Palace away doesn't feel great, but Pukki has proven he can score in any fixture so hoping he delivers me one here.

Abraham (BHA)

Coming off a late push at Stamford Bridge last week versus the league leaders, Chelsea should continue with their offensive prowess vs Brighton back at home.  Although I don't expect Tammy's absurd finishing efficiency to continue at this rate, his physicality and quickness in the box is here to stay which will continue to yield him good opportunities and big chances.

Plus with up-and-down-the-wing god Marcos A. slotted in at left back with Emerson out, Tammy should be getting some great service in the air.  Love having two offensive players from the same team cause the dreams and realization of an assist-dong combo is just the best actual feeling in all of FPL.

Greenwood (ARS)

Taking a chance here going with my other Mason: the 17 year old United striker..feels especially risky with him playing 90' midweek in the cup match.

He has yet to start in a league game this year, but has started in both games outside of the league and has a goal in each of them. With Rashford's groin injury and Martial seemingly dead for eternity (I won't believe he's healthy til I see him on the team sheet), OGS has limited options up top so realllly hoping he gives the kid a chance this week at Old Trafford for his first league start.

From the little I've seen from Greenwood, seems like he is not shy to shoot and with Paul hopefully back maybe the team can progress the ball better and develop some offensive threat again..we shall see.

CAP:

Sterling (eve)

I'm going with Raz for the fifth GW in a row.

We all know what he's capable of..sitting the whole 90' on the bench or scoring a hatty. Hoping for the latter in the away fixture at Goodison cause I think City are gonna have their way with the Toffees. I'd be lying if I said I'm not scared captaining Raz considering he played 70+ minutes midweek in the cup and UCL coming up next week but fuck it.

Weird to see him drop in price two times in a week and seeing some captain polls, kinda feels like a slight differential captain.  Vice will be on Mo.

[p-artsypants]

320 State Street- 1 (April)

AO3 | FF.net

I don’t usually post new stories when I don’t have a couple of chapters done, but I’ve really excited about this one. I started planning it way back around Infernal Responsibility in 2015. Since then, the story has changed in little ways and I went through a little Miraculous Ladybug and Kingdom Hearts phase. But now I’m back and ready to rock! I hope you all enjoy my Modern AU.

—

Based on actual events.

—

“Can I help you?”

Astrid had entered the hardware store on a whim. 320 State Street, Gobber’s Goods, run by a master Jack-of-All-Trades. Located in the Times Square of the little twin city area, but looked like you’d find it out in the middle of nowhere. Cement statues and garden decorations stood watch outside. All other trendy, organized, high trafficked stores had come and gone, but Gobber’s Goods had remained steadfast and unchanging. Well, at some point, someone re-painted the sign. It was rumored the store carried everything you could think of, despite it’s small size. And if you went in, you’d find exactly what you’d need.

Well, Astrid needed a job, and the sign in the window advertised there was one available.  

The young cashier drummed his fingers on the side of the register. His extremely green eyes were only magnified by his club master glasses. He might have been really attractive, if his nose wasn’t so huge. His russet hair laid lightly tussled on his head as he continued to smile at her.

“Uh…” she distractedly looked around the shop, taking in the absolute chaos and clutter.

“It’s…a little crazy in here,” he admitted, “is there something you need? There’s some method to Gobber’s madness, I’m sure we could figure it out.”

Crazy was an understatement. Only a little sunlight spilled in from the poster covered windows, showing dust floating in the air. The fattest cat she’d ever seen was laying on a shelf, enjoying the sun. Vintage ads and signs hung from the ceiling. There was only a few lights, and they flickered here and there. The wooden floorboards creaked with each step. A refrigerator with glass bottle pop sat by the door, while a fridge of bait next to it. Shelves filled with unmarked, rusted cans and dusty tools lined aisle after aisle. Behind the cashier, the wall was lined with hundreds of little drawers. The store was bigger inside than first glance.

Astrid was very much regretting her decision to apply, but her desperation spoke for her as she stated, “application.”

The cashier smiled wider, showing his braces. “We don’t have applications, but my boss is here and he can interview you now, if you have time.”

“Uh, yeah, that’ll work.”

“Cool, let me just…uh…” he reached over, grabbed a radio, and hit a button. “Hey Boss, there’s a girl here interested in the job.”

There was silence for a long time before a voice spoke back. “Is she cute?”

The cashier blushed. “Gobber!”

“I’ll be out in a sec! Be cordial!”

The cashier rolled his eyes and dropped the radio to the glass counter. “So…you must be pretty desperate to apply here.”

She grimaced. “I mean, you aren’t wrong, but is it that bad?”

“No, not at all.” He leaned forward on his elbows, “I love working here. It’s just…everyone assumes its awful because the place is a dump.”

“It’s…got character.” She supplied. A light blinked out. “This is actually the first time I’ve been in here. It’s not often I have to buy…repair stuff,” then she whispered, “I usually go to Ace Hardware.”

The cashier snickered. “Don’t say that too loud around Gobber, he’ll tell you all about their terrible merchandise.”

Astrid looked at the shelves of dilapidated junk. “Sounds pretty hypocritical.”

“You should have seen the place before I got here.”

“Oh?”

Before he could continue his story, a goat looking man hobbled out. His stomach hanging out over his belt and his mustache dangling down by his nipples. He stood on a wooden peg leg while his hook hand scratched his fat red nose. “So! You want a job, ey?”

“I regret everything.” She muttered.

"Let's talk.” From behind the counter, he pulled out two high chairs and beckoned her to sit. The cashier went to make himself busy, but the owner steadied him. “You get just as much in a say in this hire as I do, since you’ll be training her.”

The boy couldn’t argue with that.

“So, Lass, why do you wanna work fer me?"

He spoke with an accent. Irish? She couldn’t tell. “Well, to be honest, Mr.—..."

"Gobber. Owner of this fine establishment.”  

"Uh, Gobber, right. Well, to be honest, I just need a job, and my friend recommended it."

"Who's yer friend?"

"Gladius Thorenson, you employ her brother Mortice?"

"Tuff! Ah, good lad.” He nodded. “Alright, I only have a few questions.”

“Shoot.”

“Do you have any psychotic tendencies?"

"What? No!"

"Disabilities?"

"No."

"Drug addiction?"

"Nope."

"Criminal history?"

"No sir."

"Well, then why on earth do you want a job here?"

She sighed. "I...I got fired from Bath and Body Works a few weeks ago, because of a cruel customer. I am desperate for a job, and no one is hiring."

"Ah, I see...shopaholic then?"

She actually laughed. "No, it's my dad."

“Ah, I see! You’re hired.”

"Wait? Really?! Don’t you need to see any references? Blood tests? Skill sets? To consider the candidates over two weeks before you call me back?”

“You know Tuff and his sister, Ruff. That’s good enough for me. Besides, there were no other candidates, and that sign has been in the window for two weeks. When can you start?"

Right now, She thought earnestly. "As soon as you need me to?"

“Great! Let’s talk about your schedule Miss…Oh good grief! I was so excited to get a pretty girl on my team I forgot to ask your name!”

“I’m Astrid, Astrid Hofferson.”

“Astrid! What a lovely name!” He turned to the cashier. “Don’t you think so Hiccup?”

In turn, Hiccup blushed, “What are you trying to do, flirt for me?”

“If you think so, then sure!”

The boy rolled his eyes and looked at her, “I’m Henry Haddock, but everyone calls me Hiccup.”

“…why?” She asked, hesitantly.

“Tuff likes to come up with nicknames. I just kind of roll with it.”

She nodded in understanding.

“Well,” Gobber began, with a schedule in hand. “What I like to do, is have a cashier, a stocker, and a delivery driver working at the same time, so if something happens, there’s at least one person in the store. Depending on when you can work, I’ll figure out the team. So, when can you work?”

“I have class Monday through Wednesday until 12. Thursdays and Fridays I have clinicals at the hospital until 4. Weekends are totally free.”

“Med student?”

“Nursing,” She smiled.

He looked at his hand, “We could definitely use a nursing student.”

Astrid just stared wide-eyed.

“I’m just kidding, I lost this years ago. Reached into a wood chipper to get a rock that fell in, and when I pulled it out…” He made a grinding sound.

She shuttered heavily. “What about your leg?”

“Landmine in Vietnam.”

She hummed in understanding.

“How many hours are you thinking?”

“As many as I can get.”

“Great! So let’s see…” He studied the sheet. “Why don’t you pick out a soda from the fridge while I figure this out? My treat!”

“Oh, thanks!” She smiled. “What’s good?”

Hiccup replied back, “Might I suggest ��Rat Bastard’ Root Beer? It’s pungent with a hint of Vanilla.”

She found the bottle and allowed him to pop the cap with an opener. One swig and she was pleased, “pungent, with a hint of vanilla. You weren’t kidding.”

Gobber looked up. “I’ll have you work 2 to close Monday through Wednesday with Hiccup. We close at 8. Thursdays and I can have you on from 5-close. And then Saturday morning—no wait, evening, 12-5, we close early on Saturdays. Mildew works mornings and I don’t want you working with him.”

“Mildew? Seriously, what’s up with these names?”

Gobber continued. “We’re closed on Sundays and most Holidays. But that gives you about thirty hours. Think you can handle it?”

“I was actually hoping for more…but if that’s all you have, I’ll take it. It’s minimum wage, right?”

“For a little while, but if you show up on time, are pleasant and do something, there’s a chance for a 50 cent raise in the first month, and then once a year after that.”

Hiccup added, “Everyone but Tuff has gotten a raise. It’s not that hard.”

She chuckled, “Knowing Tuff, he’s close to being fired.”

“One day…” Gobber lamented. “Well, I think I’ve overloaded your brain for today. So, tomorrow is Wednesday. Are you ready to start?”

“2 O’clock? I’ll be here!”

“I’ll be on a job until 5, so Hiccup here will take care of you.”

She grinned, “I’m looking forward to it.”

“Oh!” The man snapped, “there’s one more important thing I forgot.”

“Oh yeah, the tax forms.” Astrid confirmed.

Hiccup snickered, “Tax forms…”

“What? No no, we’ll do that later.” Gobber assured, “more importantly, we need to figure out what role you would have in viking society.”

Her brows furrowed, “Uh…what?”

“It’s simple, in order for us to get along, we must all have a role. You’ll have conflicts if there’s two Blacksmiths or Shepards.”

“I thought I was a cashier? Or a stocker?”

Hiccup nodded, “you’re a cashier, this is just a…store management thing.”

“Oh.”

“Now I,” declared the boss, “am obviously…what?”

“Uh…the chief?”

“No! The Blacksmith! Geez…”

“Okay, you fix stuff, so you’re the Blacksmith, I got it.”

“Now, Mildew is the farmer.”

“…because he’s a stocker?” She confirmed.

Gobber paused, “Well, yeah, that makes sense, but he also has 18 cats.”

She threw up a little bit in her mouth.

“Bucket and Mulch are the fishermen.”

“Okay, hold on, I thought you just said there couldn’t be duplicates.”  

Hiccup answered, “Those two have to work together…Bucket needs help. He can’t drive, but he’s really strong. So he’s great for deliveries.”

“Oh, I see. Continue.”

“Tuff is the village idiot.”

“Makes sense.”

“And Hiccup here is the Prince.”

Hiccup pinched the bridge of his nose, “There’s no princes in Norse Mythology.”

“Well, he’s the closest thing to Chief we have, but he’s not the Chief. While I do the hiring, firing, schedules…and all that stuff, Hiccup manages the store.”

Astrid looked around, “… so I see…”

Hiccup looked at her flatly, “I don’t get a lot of time to organize if I’m always watching the register.”

“Which is why we hired you, lass!” Gobber intervened.

“Oh, okay. Yeah, that makes sense.” She processed all that had been said. “Is there a Chief?”

“Uh…” Gobber scrunched up his nose. “My business partner Alvin is probably the Chief, though it’s unspoken.”

Hiccup frowned. “If you’re lucky, you’ll never have to meet him.” Then he whispered, “he’s got anger issues.”

“But he knows how to balance the books! He’s the shrewdest man to walk this earth, but I’ll be damned if he didn’t keep us in business!”

“Shieldmaiden.” Astrid stated.

“What?” The men asked in unison.

“Well, someone has to be the warrior, the one that rallies the moral of the team, the one to protect the village…or else you’re subject to invasion. So, I want to be the Shieldmaiden.”

“I was thinking you’d say healer, you know…nursing student?” Hiccup shrugged.

She smiled and replied, “Who said I can’t be both?”

Gobber snickered at Hiccup. “I like her.”

“So, Shieldmaiden,” began Hiccup, “You still want to work here, even with all this craziness?”

She looked fondly at the clutter and chaos and answered, resolute, “I think crazy is just the thing I could use right now.”

—

Gladius, known respectfully by her peers as Ruff, sat at a high table in the far back of the room.

"D'ya get it?"

"Yeah," Astrid said, taking her seat, a near empty bottle of root beer and soup in hand. "Thanks for the idea. You should have seen the guy's face when I asked.“

"Who? The cute freckled one with the Ray Bans?"

"Yeah, sure. Anyways, the look was of sheer delight. ”

“Oh, of course. He wasn’t expecting to get a 10 like you.“

"What?"

"Well, most of the workers there have some sort of problem, i.e. disability.”

“And your brother?”

“He’s just stupid!” Ruff laughed. “So, you’re still going in tomorrow?”

“I got hired on the spot! I’ve applied at every establishment on this side of the river and no one called me back. And I got thirty hours with the promise of a raise. I can’t imagine anything better.”

"Thanks Michigan, for the highest unemployment rate..." Ruff muttered snidely.

"I just hope the work is worth the pay. Remember at B&B when they made me manager but continued paying minimum wage?“ She muttered.

“You have the worst luck, girlfriend. The worst.”

“Debatably. I have a house—“

“That you share with a psycho.”

“I have a job.”

“Now.”

“And I’m going to school.”

“For the worst reason…”

“I’m in the top ten percent. I’m not going to ask for more.”

"Maybe you'll get to work with Mr. Hottie Cashier." Ruff wiggled her eyebrows.

Astrid glanced at her, but then looked back to her soup. "He seems nice, but you can't judge a person on his looks."

"I thought you liked the nerdy looking guys."

"Forget it Ruff, not interested."

"Who knows? And come on! You should ask him out!"

"Drop it Ruff."

"Give me one good reason!"

Astrid glanced up and stated outright. "Scott."

Ruff deflated. "That's a reason. Sometimes I forget you even have a boyfriend."

Astrid ignored her friend and finished her soup.

"I mean, you never talk about him. I never see him, the only evidence that he exists is—..."

“Let’s talk about something else?”

“Like what? All you ever talk about nowadays is your crazy roommate and your extremely exhausting classes.”

“I’m busy, okay? How about you? Weren’t you dating that one guy? Mr. Bulging Pecs?”

Ruff got a dreamy look on her face. “Erik Erikson…the man of my dreams.”

“So…that’s a yes then?”

“I might have fibbed a little about our whole dating thing.”

Astrid pushed her bowl out of the way and leaned in on her elbows. “What did you do?”

“I may have spied on him from a tree, and he may have caught me, and he may have filed for a restraining order.”  

The attention of the every patron in the cafe was on Astrid in a second as she started screaming with laughter. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” She gasped out between guffaws.

“It’s not that funny.”

“You said that I had bad luck!”

“Well, he hasn’t gotten the restraining order yet, so I’m going to apologize and then we’re going to fall in love and have beautiful babies.”

“Ruff, you a your brother lead the craziest lives ever.”

“Interesting. Most interesting lives.”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night.” Astrid downed the rest of her soda. “Hey, I have to get going, I have a Psychology paper I have to finish.”

“Gross.”

“You know, I wish I had gotten this job sooner, since we’re studying the traumatic effects of amputation on the human body, and my new boss is a double amputee.”

“Blah blah science, blah blah health.”

Astrid narrowed her eyes as she put on her coat. “Remind me why we’re friends.”

“Like you said, I lead an interesting life.”

“Well,” She picked up her empty bowl. “Soon, I’ll have other stories to tell you, instead of medical horrors.”

Ruff rolled her eyes, “hurray, more bad customer stories.”

[kansascityhappenings]

Local man behind Operation BBQ Relief named to CNN’s 2017 Top 10 Heroes

Watch Video

Their missions vary greatly: To provide loving homes for orphaned children, feed those in crisis or mend war’s psychological wounds.

Yet they all share one goal: to improve the lives of those around them.

This year’s top 10 CNN Heroes include an amputee who created her own support network, a cop who empowers the children of Chicago’s South Side, and a determined mother employing dozens of developmentally challenged young adults.

Each of these heroes will receive a $10,000 cash prize. One of the 10 will be named “CNN Hero of the Year” and receive an additional $100,000 for his or her cause.

Their efforts are being highlighted at “CNN Heroes: An All-Star Tribute,” a global broadcast event on CNN airing December 17 at 8 p.m. ABC’s Kelly Ripa will join Anderson Cooper as co-host for this star-studded 11th-annual show, live from New York’s American Museum of Natural History.

Meet the top 10 CNN Heroes of 2017:

Stan Hays

Stan Hays, a Grand Champion pitmaster, uses his barbecuing skills to feed people in need.

Since 2011, his nonprofit, Operation BBQ Relief, has prepared almost 1.7 million meals for disaster survivors and first responders — including during recent hurricanes in Texas and Florida.

“Seeing the people working and knowing the impact the meals are making — it can’t help but bring a smile to your face, maybe a tear to your eye,” Hays said.

Learn more about Stan Hays’ work.

Samir Lakhani

Samir Lakhani was a student volunteer in Cambodia when he saw a mother bathing her newborn with laundry soap and realized the bar soap in his own hotel room could make a huge difference.

Lakhani established the Eco-Soap Bank, which now has four soap recycling centers across Cambodia, providing jobs to 35 local women.

“I did not expect to be so effective by such an early age,” Lakhani said. “If you have one part drive and maybe one part naivety or foolishness, you can do anything.”

Learn more about Samir Lakhani’s work.

Jennifer Maddox

Having grown up in Chicago’s South Side, police officer Jennifer Maddox still sees a neighborhood rife with challenges.

Maddox’s after-school program Future Ties provides a free, safe space for more than 100 children in grades K-5 to learn, grow and succeed.

“We can’t arrest our way out of this. Law enforcement needs the people in the community to work with us to solve some of the grassroots issues that are causing the violence.”

Learn more about Jennifer Maddox’s work.

Rosie Mashale

Former school teacher Rosie Mashale ran a free daycare from her Cape Town, South Africa, home for 10 years.

But when she was almost ready to retire, Mashale found an orphan on her doorstep and discovered a new calling: to provide care for more than 5,000 orphaned, abandoned or sick children, many of whom have lost parents to AIDS. Her organization, Baphumelele, translates to “we have progressed.”

“Some of them tell me that they want to be social workers; they want to do the work that I’m doing,” Mashale said. “Everybody has got a dream, and my wish is for their dream to be fulfilled.”

Learn more about Rosie Mashale’s work.

Andrew Manzi

Andrew Manzi sought professional help to cope with PTSD and a traumatic brain injury he suffered as a Marine serving two tours in the Iraq War. But it was surfing that helped heal his soul.

Manzi’s nonprofit, Warrior Surf, provides free six-week surf camps for veterans and their families, complete with therapy sessions on the beach.

“You feel safe out there when you know you got a bunch of brothers floating around you,” Manzi said. “We’re just taking a natural approach to healing.”

Learn more about Andrew Manzi’s work.

Leslie Morissette

Leslie Morissette’s son, Graham, was 6 years old when he was diagnosed with leukemia and 8 when he died.

Morissette channeled her grief into the nonprofit Grahamtastic Connection, which provides free computers, iPads and even robots to children battling serious illnesses so they can stay connected to friends, family and their classrooms.

“I find that most seriously ill children just want to be normal kids,” Morissette said. “They want to be in school and they want to be with their classmates. So, we’re providing the tools that enable that.”

Learn more about Leslie Morissette’s work.

Mona Patel

Mona Patel was a 17-year-old college student walking to class when a drunken driver crashed into her, smashing her leg and requiring several surgeries and amputations.

Patel created the San Antonio Amputee Foundation, which offers peer support, education and recreation, as well as financial assistance for prosthetic limbs.

“When somebody becomes an amputee, maneuvering through the system is sometimes just scary,” said Patel. “I think the big catalyst of me doing what I do to help the amputee community is because I lived it.”

Learn more about Mona Patel’s work.

Khali Sweeney

Khali Sweeney started the Downtown Boxing Gym Youth Program to help youth avoid the negativity he faced after falling in with the wrong crowd as a kid.

Five days a week, around 100 children hit the Detroit gym for training and academic tutoring. More than 260 students have completed the program. All of them, Sweeney says, have graduated high school, and 98% have gone on to college.

“I don’t see bad kids. I see a kid who hasn’t been heard yet. So, let’s find out what’s really going on,” Sweeney said. “I see the true potential in the kids. ”

Learn more about Khali Sweeney’s work.

Aaron Valencia

Facing drugs, jail and homelessness as a teen taught Aaron Valencia that youth need positive examples and projects to occupy their time.

Valencia’s nonprofit, Lost Angels Children’s Project, is an after-school program that focuses on classic car restoration. Low-income, foster and at-risk youth work on a car that is raffled off to support the program.

“It’s a lot more than just teaching kids how to be mechanics,” Valencia said. “We are trying to get them to open their eyes to see a different way.”

Learn more about Aaron Valencia’s work.

Amy Wright

When Amy Wright and her husband found out that 70 percent of adults with intellectual and physical disabilities do not have jobs, they were inspired to change that. After all, two of the pair’s four children live with Down syndrome.

Bitty and Beau’s Coffee, Wright’s popular North Carolina coffee shop, is named after their kids and employs 40 people with disabilities.

“Creating this has given people a way to interact with people with disabilities that (they) never had before,” she said. “This is a safe place where people can test the waters and realize how much more alike we are than different.”

Learn more about Amy Wright’s work.

Supporters of each Top 10 CNN Hero can vote every day at CNNHeroes.com by logging in via email or Facebook, as well as on Facebook Messenger by messaging VOTE to the CNN Heroes Facebook page. Vote up to 10 times a day, per method, every day through Tuesday, December 12, at midnight PT.

Each Top 10 Hero will also receive free organizational training from the Annenberg Foundation, a leading supporter of nonprofits worldwide. They will participate in a customized version of the Annenberg Alchemy program, which offers practical guidance to help strengthen organizations for long-term success.

from FOX 4 Kansas City WDAF-TV | News, Weather, Sports http://fox4kc.com/2017/11/02/local-man-behind-operation-bbq-relief-named-to-cnns-2017-top-10-heroes/

from Kansas City Happenings https://kansascityhappenings.wordpress.com/2017/11/03/local-man-behind-operation-bbq-relief-named-to-cnns-2017-top-10-heroes/