#and also my writing friends that i normally bounce ideas on aren't into merlin or the fandom for the au so i'm just *vibrating in place*
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#am participating in the after camlann big bang this year and HOO BOY am i not good at writing on a schedule#i also chose a perhaps ridiculously difficult au to manage esp when i'm not used to writing dream sequences or surrealism#BUT I LOVE THE IDEA TOO MUCH TO DROP IT#but i've also only written about a thousand words and already know none of them are making it into the final draft#i think part of the problem is i love merlin SO MUCh#like i've spoken on this blog about how much it as a show and merthur as a ship means to me#(tho i'm not actually writing merthur for this piece)#and also my writing friends that i normally bounce ideas on aren't into merlin or the fandom for the au so i'm just *vibrating in place*#mayhaps am very stressed about this#but i refuse to back out#and really don't want to change ideas#writing this all out helped actually i'm getting hype again#gonna go chase that#cj updates
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