#and also make them aro qpr fuck buddies

[if-loki-was-a-fox]

I feel like Cleo and Etho could be (unknowingly aromantic) friends with benefits in college who had an unplanned pregnancy (Scar) and due to societal/social pressures and internalized amatanormativity got a bit of a shotgun marriage over it, then said marriage inevitably starts to fall apart a few years later because neither of them actually ever wanted to be married or parents and are kind of romance repulsed by the whole situation on top of all the logistical stress and peer pressure of it all, so ofc they pull a "having a baby to try and save the marriage" (Bdubs) that went about as poorly as you can imagine before finally deciding "y'know what, fuck societal expectations" and finally get a divorce

Over the course of the next several years they have the whole messy exes thing going on LimLife-style, with Cleo single parenting and Etho kinda hovering about the whole situation awkwardly, before eventually things start to simmer down over the decade following their divorce as they settle into no longer being forced into a romantic partnership, Etho actually bes a decently supportive ex who pays child support and is available for babysitting and whatnot, and by the time Scar and Bdubs are becoming adults and the pressures of parenting are lifted to some extent, Cleo and Etho have fully divorced themselves from societal expectations, realized their aromantic, become amicable and eventually friends again, and then at some point - probably because of being tight on money? idk - move into with Grian and end up as roomies

Cleo and Etho are far happier back in their initial qpr friends-with-benefits relationship without kids or romance in the way, especially now that they're also older and more mature, and Scar and Bdubs are just sitting there like. We went through a whole childhood with divorce for this. You two just getting back together. wtf

[genderbinaryisforlosers]

everyone on the carte blanche for the ask meme

everyone? oh boy this is gonna get long ajfhdsf

JUNO

First impression: i, like a lot of people who get into the podcast without knowing a great deal about it, was expecting at most an ambiguously bisexual angst machine with a closely-guarded heart of gold. juno being an explicitly bisexual genderqueer angst machine is perhaps the most pleasant surprise of my life. the angst machine heart of gold characters were kind of my type at the time, so i loved him right away

Impression now: every time i think about juno’s arc from depressed mess held together by bad coping mechanisms, safety pins, and a few good strong puns into someone who can talk about his feelings, feel comfortable about being happy, and recognise when he needs to change, i want to cry about it a little bit. the depth of my love for juno steel has only grown along with him

Favourite moment: juno has a lot of great one-liners and i’m still a big fan of the “on the other hand i wasn’t wearing a watch” bit and who can forget such classics as juno finally deciding to stop moping over nureyev and move on only for him to open the door to his apartment and find nureyev sitting in the dark dramatically, but honestly nothing will ever hit me harder than his sudden, pissed-off declaration of “i can’t die yet, i still have shit to do!” in promised land. god.

Idea for a story: oh i have so many and i want to write most of them so no spoilers, but juno accidentally kidnaps a baby during a carte blanche heist and shenanigans ensue

Unpopular opinion: obviously we all know he’s dummy thicc but i feel like a lot of people forget he’s an actual genius, like the stuff he notices and how he strings it together is sometimes so obscure and he’s almost always right. oh, also juno is not skinny and i will not be taking criticism on that

Favourite relationship: this is so tough because every dynamic is so good, but i think it has to be juno and rita. those two are so good! the best best friends in the world!! i’m really a sucker for any dynamic that’s ridiculously in-sync so i loved these two as soon as juno saw rita’s notes in prince of mars and went “makes perfect sense to me” (which it probably didn’t, because rita, but he trusted that she knew what she was doing which is the important part)

Favourite headcanon: this isn’t really a headcanon but i still think about how juno is (was?) deathly afraid of heights but when he heard rex glass coming he still attempted to climb out of the window. either his aversion to working with dark matters/other people in general was so strong is overrided his fear, or his office was actually on the ground floor. not sure which of these is funnier.

NUREYEV

First impression: we’ve all seen the memes about nureyev knowing juno steel for one (1) day and deciding to Risk It All by leaving him with his name, look at this Hopeless Romantic, this utter DISASTER of a homosexual. the fact the very next time we hear from nureyev (at least directly) he’s patiently waiting in juno’s dark apartment to surprise him with a heist definitely supports this image.

Impression now: even after literally being inside peter’s head, i feel like we didn’t get a real sense of who he is until man in glass, where we find out he aggressively compartmentalises everything that causes him stress. he’s also distinctly someone who’s had his heart broken before, i think, which makes those first appearances of his very strange. but it does remind me of what juno says about diamond, and how he decided to provide the trust first and wait for the trustworthiness to grow in (only to get severely hurt), and i think that’s exactly what nureyev did. i am also... very uneasy with how suspicious he’s behaving this season because obviously i want to believe he’ll sort it all out and not betray the crew but... oof

Favourite moment: the beginning of what lies beyond pt1 where he’s affectionately bullying juno into taking care of himself? cleared my crops watered my skin etc etc etc

Idea for a story: i’d love to hear more about his past as a young thief idolising buddy and vespa (i can’t actually remember if that’s canon or fanon but anyway i wanna read it!)

Unpopular opinion: i think people often cling to an image of him that more resembles his first impressions in season 1 instead of seeing the depth that we’ve been given about his character in season 3

Favourite relationship: him and juno but honestly it’s a close call between them and his budding friendship with rita. even though she learned it by accident, his name is still a point of intimacy and it’s one less secret to keep around her which has to be a weight off his shoulders, at least a little? they seem like they could be really good friends once ultrabots is out of the way. juno steel love (and also bullying) zone activates whenever they’re together

Favourite headcanon: i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again - nureyev has never done a household chore in his goddamn life. he doesn’t know the water needs to be hot when you wash dishes.

RITA

First impression: honestly i’m not sure? i don’t remember having a big awareness of her in murderous mask but i remember loving her “note-taking” in prince of mars, i thought she sounded really fun and cute

Impression now: rita is really fun and cute, she’s also an extremely hardworking and dedicated woman who had the guts to throw in with a detective fired from the force and then invest all of her time and money into helping him help people.

Favourite moment: Rita Gets A Knife. enough said

Idea for a story: i don’t know honestly! i really struggle to write rita because her thought processes are so wild and i don’t think any story i could come up with would match mega ultrabots of cyberjustice.

Unpopular opinion: this shouldn’t be unpopular because juno steel himself shares this opinion but all future-jupeter headcanons are incomplete without rita also being a huge part of their lives

Favourite relationship: rita + franny 4ever obviously.. jk it’s juno & rita have you heard rita minute 3 they’re too adorable for this world. im still Soft over their conversation at the end of soul of the people when he said he couldn’t stay in hyperion anymore but he wouldn’t leave with the carte blanche if rita wasn’t coming because he was done leaving her behind, and she threw out all her hesitations on the spot and said call the big guy. speaking of, rita & jet are a close second. instant best friends i love them.

Favourite headcanon: i think this is basically canon now but rita being literally half the height of jet is so good

JET

First impression: “haha lorge funny man puts juno in the trash”

Impression now: jet sikuliaq is one of the dearest characters to me out of anything ever. he is a huge, menacing, polite, kind, sincere man who i would very much like to give me a hug. he’s the best aro ace in outer space and while being generally very levelheaded and straightforward, also takes every opportunity to fuck with juno because it’s very easy and very hilarious to him personally. he is everything my autistic acearo ass needed and i’m so glad to have him

Favourite moment: all of them every single one. him putting juno in the trash is of course a classic and every moment jet chooses to be funny makes my heart happy, but also every piece of genuine advice he gives. i’m a particular fan though of buddy recounting her years in the lighthouse and him saying he became concerned when she didn’t come downstairs at the usual time. “you took the door off its hinges.” “i was deeply concerned.” king of understatement

Idea for a story: again no spoilers for you but..... tools of rust time loop au

Unpopular opinion: this isn’t “unpopular” as much as it is unknown but jet is buddy’s queerplatonic partner and i will keep saying it until everyone believes it

Favourite relationship: jet and buddy,,, just everything about them. the way he suspects when she’s lying, the way she makes tea for him when she expects him to drop by. the fact he comes to check on her when she is 41 seconds late to the family meeting because it’s unlike her to be late and the last time she was late for something her brain was turning to radiation soup. but most especially the way she snaps at him to stay out of her business and he said he could not because he made her promise eight years ago to never stay out of the business of her health, no matter how many times she asked. they r literally in a qpr

Favourite headcanon: i don’t think this is true but i still think it would be funny if the ruby-7 used to be painted red but when jet got it he had it painted green because he Just Really Likes Green (as evidenced by his hovercycle). it’s very funny to me.

BUDDY

First impression: it’s been a minute since i relistened to time gone by but i’m pretty sure the first thing she ever says in the podcast is sliding up to depressed accidental whiskey thief juno and say “that’ll be ten million creds,” scaring the shit out of him, so needless to say i was in love instantly.

Impression now: my love for buddy aurinko has only grown and if it sounds like i already said that in this post it’s because i did about juno and it’s appropriate because the parallels are astounding. the heart of it all gave us such depth to buddy’s internal monologue and why she always sounds like she knows exactly what to say and what that’s like and honestly will i ever be over the heart of it all as an episode? unlikely. i think i’m gonna have a little piece of it in MY heart forever.

Favourite moment: everything she’s ever said is iconic as hell i especially like “in an impressive fit of hubris i’ve decided not to prepare my words for this vow” which made me laugh out loud but once again i must give it up for her iconic “I WANT TO LIVE” moment. honourable mentions to her taking rita out for ice cream and giving juno shooting lessons while she’s in her actual wedding gown. i love her

Idea for a story: buddy and vespa as sun/moon dieties.... that’s all

Unpopular opinion: stop drawing her with a fancy high-tech eye like the theia!! it canonically looks like garbage and it’s described in detail, please, i’m dying, also don’t minimise her scars you bastards

Favourite relationship: buddy and vespa invented romantic love and the entire carte blanche crew’s relationship to her is great but you know by now i’m a slut for buddy & jet out-of-this-world queerplatonic partners. the way she checks in on him during tools of rust to make sure he’s not relapsing and he comes to find her when she is 41 seconds late in the heart of it all to make sure she’s not having a heart problem!! it’s the trust,, the devotion,, the mortifying ordeal of being known

Favourite headcanon: she can sing. absolutely tears it up at karaoke. i’m right

VESPA

First impression: knife lesbian goes STAB. she will heal your wounds but she will be threatening to give you more the whole time

Impression now: she is extremely strong, heart-rendingly tender, and despite being in the older half of the carte blanche crew somehow has unmistakable little sister energy which makes her downright hilarious. i’m so glad she got to marry buddy and they’re official space wives now they’re so good for each other

Favourite moment: both from shadows in the ship, either “GUN!!” “KNIFE?!” (iconic) or when she clocks the dark matters drone pretending to be juno because it called her crazy and juno wouldn’t call her crazy. i’m always a sucker for “shapeshifter fails to fool mark because they Know Each Other Too Well” and it was just *chefs kiss* so good

Idea for a story: i really want to write something about when she was first staying at the lighthouse with buddy post-reunion, and getting to know jet and stuff. i think it would be cute

Unpopular opinion: i know vespa doesn’t canonically have lots of scarring but people who don’t draw her with scarring? cowards.

Favourite relationship: once again, although buddy and vespa invented romantic love, i just love the dynamic between vespa and juno so much. they’ve come so far with each other and their weird sibling dynamic gives me life. at the end of what lies beyond when juno says “we’re not gonna kill her, vespa” and instead of sounding full of Rage and Suspicion she’s like “whyyy notttt?” and he’s like “because i said so!” and that’s just good enough for her even if she’s a bit grumpy about it. i love it.

this took.. a hot minute to do! jshkfjsdgsa thank you dyl ily <3

[a-spec-community-issues]

Being traumatized is different than being asexual.

As a traumatized ace? Nope. Trauma and sexual identities have historically gone hand in hand, with groups of women identifying as lesbians due to their sexual trauma.

In fact, the post didn’t say ace = trauma, it said you were valid if you chose to identify as ace from sexual trauma, or aro from past abuse. Why? Because it’s your own identity and labels and you’re free to do so.

In fact, newsflash buddy, as someone who is traumatized and Bi AroAce, my trauma does reflect into my identity. A lot of the time I actually feel like an imposter for being traumatized.

There’s no cohesive ideal to being any sexuality. Because people feel things differently. If someone, who for the longest time, feels like their trauma might reflect heavily to their sexual orientation decides to be ace, aro or anywhere on the a-spectrum, I would just fucking support it.

If they decide later their allo, they got the support they needed from the community. Especially because we’re not saying it’s a one to one ratio, but that’s it’s okay to change your labels of your identity because that’s not set in stone.

Fuck, ask teenage me, I used to ID as a Bisexual Girl, now I’m a Bi AroAce Demiboy.

Could any of this be influenced by trauma? Definitely the sexuality portion because it fucked up my abilities to tell whether I’m too sex-repulsed/romance-favourable and not actually the identities I say I am. That post was written because some people’s sexualities are influenced by their trauma and they feel most comfortable IDing that way.

Like fuck. Someone’s identity and labels, are personal and to them. Not to mention it’s kinda a lot easier for someone to say, “I’m ace” or “I’m aro” or anything on the spectrum, than “I avoid this form of relationship or have issues deciding how I actually feel because of deeply cemented trauma and it impacts my ability to understand attraction, but because I cannot use asexual or aromantic I will instea give a fifty paragraph novel on why a QPR would benefit me because of my past experiences, wants and needs”.

Not to mention, someone in my DMs said they’re not sure but think their trauma might influence them as IDing as Ace and thanked us. We’ve had people come into our inbox asking if they could be ace because they’re traumatized.

It’s not trauma = ace, it’s “well if this makes you feel comfortable and you think it fits, maybe due to trauma, you’re welcome”. I’m not gonna kick people out, we’re not about kicking people out.

I don’t know how you can like, come onto a blog run by trauma survivors who are also a-spec and tell us “being traumatized is different than being asexual” but like, thanks I suppose. We, the trauma survivors, wouldn’t know the first thing about sexuality influenced by trauma. We never said trauma makes you asexual, it can influence how you identify though and as I’ve said, this is a community issue.

STOP POLICING PEOPLE AND STOP GETTING MAD AT HOW OR WHY PEOPLE IDENTIFY AS AN IDENTITY IT’S THEIR PERSONAL CHOICE AND THEIR PERSONAL LIFE STOP BUTTING IN!

You’re not helping by, acting like trauma can’t fucking influence your identity, you’re only making shit worse, and I don’t care if someone stops IDing as ace later on because they “misidentified”.

We need to stop fucking acting like past labels are misidentifying and harmful, because they’re your journey to figuring yourself out, and you can be fucking wrong. A label isn’t a definement of everything you once were, it is how you feel now and how you understand yourself now. This fucking ideology of crushing how people identify because of other aspects kills questioning.

I’ve seen plenty of aces come out and say, their sexual trauma helped them figure it out. I’ve seen others divorce their sexuality from their trauma. I’ve seen some say their trauma is such an influence they feel best IDing as ace. It’s a wonder what different experiences can do.

Just, stop the concern trolling, stop trying to misinterpret things. We’re not kids. This isn’t a, “wow you’re traumatized so you’re ace”, it’s a fucking positivity post supporting people who identify as ace because of trauma.

Y’all ain’t helping shit.

- Mod D, which is very disgruntled at being treated like this.

P.S. Anon messages like this, given the fact someone is going on anon, and leaving just one sentence, are not going to be given the benefit of the doubt. I don’t know who is on the other end of this. I don’t know if they misinterpreted the post because of neurodivergency or what, all I know, is that they’ve decided they know the intentions of the post, rewrote it and then decided to say this.

We’re not idiots. We know you can’t be “turned” any sexuality or gender. But that doesn’t mean you can’t be influenced by your past on how you choose to identify. We’re tired. Don’t do this. It helps no one, it makes the mods infuriated.

Got something to say or add, and you’re trying to contest or help, send multiple anons, lengthen what you want to say, or DM me at @drake-the-incubus and I’ll listen. I keep DMs private.

This ask reminds me of the same message someone told me about IDing as autigender, “autism is different than being trans”. And it sure is! By my autism impacts my gender identity so I choose to ID as it. It’s a personal choice and everyone can fuck off about it.

TLDR; don’t be that asshole who literally acts like they know exactly what someone else means. If you want to be that asshole, add more depth to what you’re saying because otherwise expect it not to be well received.

[arocharacteradvice]

Hello! I'm an aspiring aro writer myself and I have 3 different projects all with arospec main characters, but I'm worried about some of them being perceived as the "unfeeling stereotype" because they are mostly based on my own experience as alloaro and I'm a quite cold person, so... Do you have any tips? One of them is in a poly qpr (to say it somehow), other ends up having a qpr with a single person and other just a fuck buddy...

I’ve actually run into a similar problem in my own writing – I have several aro characters (of various sexualities) who could be perceived as cold and unfeeling, but I obviously don’t want to play into stereotypes. My advice on this honestly boils down to two things: write more aro characters, and make sure to get into the characters’ heads so that the audience can see that they aren’t just unfeeling robots or “using other people for sex” or whatever preconceptions they might have about aros. 

For example, if you have a character who just wants a fuckbuddy and isn’t interested in a committed relationship, consider also including another aromantic character (even just a side character) who does want a committed relationship (whether that be a qpr, a strong friendship, etc). Alternatively, I think it’s okay even if you can’t do something like that, especially since you’re aro yourself, if you can get into the aro character’s head and explore the emotional depth that they have (since, obviously, one can have emotional depth even without feeling romance), even if they don’t show it to other people.

I don’t have much experience with writing characters in qprs, unfortunately, but I think the ultimate answer is about the same. Just make sure you show multiple aro experiences, and you’re probably all set! 

Another good thing to remember is that no matter what type of relationship an aro person wants or doesn’t want, they still have the capacity to be any kind of person. An aro in a deeply committed qpr might be incredibly stoic and almost never show their emotions, and an aro who doesn’t even really want friends might still be incredibly passionate about something else – a hobby or fandom, for example. 

TL;DR: There is no one universal aro experience, and it’s okay to sometimes play off of stereotypes as long as the character is still three-dimensional, particularly if you yourself are aro.

-Mod Ollie

[pinkpuffballdude]

RIGHT I have Thoughts about aspec Aziriphale and Crowley so here we go

First off, Aziriphale is aro ace-spec and Crowley is ace aro-spec. Crowley has been in love with Azi for.... a long time. Since the garden seems like a stretch to me, while romantic, simply because Love At First Sight makes no fuckin sense to me and I love me a slow burn. So Crowley's there like "romance I hardly know her- oh shit" because it turns out his type is Aziriphale. He's Azi-romantic. And he's SUFFERING because Aziriphale is aro! Just, flat aro and so can't return his affection, so he's like "welp this is the best I'm gonna get and you know what it's pretty good so I'll deal" which means he accidentally ignores Aziriphale's declarations of affection ("You go too fast for me" anyone? whOOPS); sidenote: Crowley definitly implemented amatonormativity, another classic case of him being the master of his own inconvenience.

So on one hand we've got Anthony "Jguess I'll be allo" Crowley, and on the OTHER... hoo boy. Aziriphale is flat aro, sure, but our boy is definitly not flat ace. You know all those posts about horny Aziriphale? Yeah. But only for Crowley. Which is SUPER awkward for him because Crowley!!! Is very ace!!! And also a huge dumbass!!! So Aziriphale's sitting thee throwing him hints (oysters. I'll just say that.) while Crowley is just like "oh wow how nice I'll have to repay him for taking me out to lunch :)" while Azi suffers. (For the record I'm not going into much detail here because I myself am very ace! Nothing personal my angelic friend)

I'm also a big fan of the idea that when Aziripahle finds out Crowley's in love with him he goes on a fuckin bender and ends up getting high and sleeping with Oscar Wilde, so that happens (he's like "OH. Oh god oh shit oh fuck" and then immediately chugs a full bottle of wine while Crowley's like "... you okay there buddy?" and then makes his excuses and Leaves (to go fuck Oscar Wilde))

So this all comes to a head during/after the Apocawasn't, with Crowley asking Aziriphale to run away with him, and Aziriphale being Dedicated to him (without!!! being in love!!!!! this part is very important), and the whole body swap bit, right. Aziriphale has come to terms with the fact that he's Dedicated to Crowley, and Crowley's come to terms with the fact that Azi doesn't/won't/can't love him back, and then

then he gets his computer to work

and he finds the words aromantic, and asexual, and the word queerplatonic, and he's like hey...

So he brings it up with Aziriphale, like wow look at what these humans have done, huh? Bunch a bloody geniuses, what will they think of next, and Aziriphale sorta nods along smiling indulgently but on the inside he's very 👀👀👀 because this is what he wants, this is his thing, this is him!!!! So he goes and does some googling, finds that qpr sheet thing? The one you fill out and give to someone, it's super cheesy, but I like it and it feels right up his alley, so he prints it out (somehow, probably magic, honestly it might come out of the disc drive because I doubt Azi's ever used the disc drive and maybe it prints things?) circles the correct bubbles (big kisses, little kisses, hand holding sounds nice though on second thought maybe not, sex..?) and folds it in half and sort of... slides it to Crowley as they're parting ways, oh by the way I meant to give this to you, I really must be going now, ta! which makes Crowley Deeply Suspicious, but w/e guess I gotta read it huh? 

And he does, but like, he freaks out after right? Cause anxiety*. So Crowley’s overthinking everything, and Aziriphale’s like oh no he must have read it but he hasn’t brought it up everything is horrible and now he hates me, and now they’re BOTH freaking out like the nerds they are, pretending that everything is Normal and Nothing Is Wrong, No Siree, We’re All Fine Here Now, until they, yaknow, get drunk together as per usual, and I think Azi would be the one to bring it up tbh, so they’re both piss drunk of whatever wine Adam left them in the back room of the bookshop a week or so later and Aziriphale suddenly blurts out “What do you think?” but a lot less coherent cause he’s drunk, catching Crowley off guard, leading into “think of what” “the um, the...” “OH uh” and they eventually drag it out of each other that like, this is something they both want, and wait they’re on the same wavelength now wAIT A MINUTE

*don’t even TRY and tell me Mr Disaster Snek doesn’t have anxiety, okay, it’s social and that’s part of why he tries so hard to be cool, on this I will not budge.

I feel like from there it could devolve into kissing or sex, or maybe just happy crying (on BOTH sides, listen-) and cuddling. Both is good, I think (though I’m leaning towards cuddling because that’s so much more emotionally satisfying, and also Crowley is probably sex neutral so fucking means NOTHING to him)

and they live happily ever after the end

[sn0tcl0wn]

literally all a queer platonic relationship is is dating someone you dont have feelings for but still being close friends with them and like there’s nothing wrong with that really but…just be friends w someone. you don’t need to date anyone. i just feel like the whole thing spawns from the mindset that “healthy” people need to date. no one needs to date anyone. also you can totally be affectionate and go on dates w ur friends and not be in a “relationship”. that’s normal. straight people (girls especially) do that often. bromances, galpals, and hetero life-mates are all things straight people do. stop trying to turn it into an lgbt thing to have a close friend like that, it isn’t. straight people been doin that shit (where tf do you think the “bros before hoes” mindset comes from? ur bro comes before ur gf cause the friendship runs deep like that, girls do it too btw). im demiromantic and there were many times in which i dated people i wasn’t into thinking a qpr was a good idea when really i could have just been friends with them and just called it hanging out. because thats what we did. also fucking them doesn’t mean you need to call it a relationship either. thats called having a fuck buddy. stop making up terms for things that p much everyone does. it doesn’t make you queer to only want to be friends and all you’re doing is puttin pressure on young aro/ace kids to date. it happened to me and it’s gonna happen to more. this shit bites people in the ass.