#and also i said i'm getting a tattoo because i'm miserable and i want to feel something and like

[jojotichakorn]

i started penning a post about how i always find it narratively unsatisfying when an arc ends with a conclusion the following arc breaks, regardless of how realistic the repetition of the same mistake might be, which is still true, but i actually want to talk about something else right now.

i feel like, at least at this stage, jack is in a position that is both generally unrealistic and untrue to the specific events of the series. 'jack and joker' has a clear focus on poverty and money and class issues, but it seems to treat jack in a very special way. he somehow manages to stand on the moral high ground above other characters. specifically, other poor characters. which is, first of all, a little ridiculous, since he was indeed a debt collector and, in fact, almost became the boss's son. and, second of all, is generally Not Great, because it does idolise the idea that if you "just try hard enough", you won't "allow" yourself to be backed into a corner and therefore won't have to do bad things.

now, don't get me wrong, i am not saying that our characters who have made mistakes are completely blameless. tattoo did shitty things (and hoy followed suit), safe did shitty things, hope frankly admitted to enjoying doing shitty things. however, if we zoom out a little, we will see that all these characters are in a situation that is inherently unfair to them. we have all of these poor people in immense amounts of debt and then we have this disgusting rich motherfucker whose entire wealth is literally based on making their lives as miserable and unfair as they are. and i think that, in this particular case, the series would have actually benefited from a dichotomy. don't get me wrong, i'm usually absolutely brimming with nuance and also asking "what lies outside of it?" but this shall be my exception. (though you could say that joke already brings some nuance to it - he is initially from a well-off family and he actively makes choices to the benefit of poor people, despite it resulting in him being ostracised from said family and its riches).

jack walks the line of being poor and managing not to do anything "too bad" like he is a fucking circus performer on a wire. and, don't get me wrong, he is genuinely a selfless character. he makes choices that a lot of other characters in the same circumstances wouldn't make. he remains in debt and continues working for the boss because he keeps trying to help people and pay off their debts first - that is admirable. however, he himself was already set up for more success than others. sure, being forced to become a debt collector isn't a walk in the park, but most other debtors didn't even have that choice. jack has to work for the boss in order to stay afloat - that is an undeniably hard task. the other people the boss collects debts from, however, have to come up with a lot of money out of thin air - that is not simply a hard task, that is an impossible one that is designed to trap them in the cycle of doing this impossible task forever. that being said, ultimately, jack is still poor. his own hamster wheel should be somewhere around the corner, that's always the case. this idea is where i wish they would have taken jack's arc.

from the moment when he refused to marry rose, there was no escape for him. finally, much like our other poor characters, he found himself stuck between a rock and a hard place. (and i think that it's very thematically appropriate for jack's particular "i can't do this anymore, i deserve to live a full life" sentiment to be connected to love, since he is, after all, a lead of a romance drama). he made the decision to say "no" and from that point on, he was completely and utterly fucked. because, realistically, that conversation that he had with the boss after refusing rose was insane. i don't know what he would have done to jack exactly, if that was a genuine conversation and there was no exchange of jack's freedom for the ring, but it would not have been anything good.

so i wish jack had to make the actual tough call there, instead of having joke save him all on his own (and later take the fall for it). and if it was, at least in some capacity, jack's decision to steal that ring, he would finally be placed in a situation where every other poor character already inevitably found themselves in. because the entire system is rigged against all of them and they are eventually always forced to do things that they should have never even had to consider in the first place. but they deserve better than living a life set up for them by evil rich people who literally live off of their suffering and they are allowed - no, at some point they simply have no choice but to - fight for a better life.

this, in my opinion, would have been a much more powerful message and - not to circle back to my personal preferences - would have also not left us with joke making the very same mistake that we decided we should never make again at the end of the previous arc.

[the-casbah-way]

why is my mother completely fine with me getting top surgery but gives me the silent treatment for a week every time she finds out i'm getting another piercing / tattoo

[omegalomania]

the full apple music interview with zane lowe is out! we got snippets of it when love from the other side dropped, but they finally rolled out the full thing. here are some highlights that stood out to me :)

patrick describes pete's lyrics as what gets him out of bed in the morning. if pete doesn't send him lyrics, he doesn't write a song.

andy and pete used to draw fake snake tattoos on each other using magic markers as kids omg?

so evidently patrick was the one who got covid during hella mega tour. and he hated it and he was miserable and that's when he called neal avron about the new record lmao

patrick says that joe was hesitant at first and he was the one who said that for this record he wanted to make something that they could all savor and spend time on and patrick was immediately on board with that

pete says patrick's job is to interpret him because pete calls his mentality a "little bit off" but patrick is capable of understanding him and translating it

patrick describes his and pete's creative relationship as "twin speak." it's not linear and it's like living in his brain a little bit. he calls it the "weirdest thing i've ever seen" when pete can just Tell that some words that patrick adjusted weren't ones he wrote despite not remembering writing them. patrick says he's gotten better at connective tissue and knowing how pete would say things

pete: back in the day patrick was like, "what's the difference between cry and weep i will KILL YOU. THEY'RE THE SAME THING. I'M GONNA KILL YOU RIGHT NOW."

zane says patrick's vocals are next level for this album. pete agrees that he kills it on this album and said he never would've expected that voice coming from him when they first met. zane says patrick could sing a recipe and it would be good. he then passes patrick a recipe and patrick. sings it???

patrick: i'm not gonna belt it. (starts belting) NINE INCH PIE PLATE ROLLING PIN

patrick says that pete doesn't mean to have rhythm to his words but there's a rhythm to them all the same and patrick can find this syncopation in his words and thinks it's amazing

more talking about patrick and pete's Magical Mystical Transcendent Soul Bond. patrick says "if we were one guy, we'd be an INCREDIBLE DUDE"

patrick and pete say that interviews with all four of them are hard because it's chaos and everyone's talking at once but it all makes perfect sense to them and no one else. zane says that sounds like fun flkjdfd [i agree please do this more it's a joy]

pete says joe really stepped up and wrote a lot for this record!

patrick: "joe is kind of a conundrum because he's this really talented...he's a brilliant writer, a brilliant player, but pete and i became the "team" and it wasn't really a plan, but that's just kind of how it happened. [brief tangent about the hiatus] we come back from the thing and joe is this fully-formed writer with a very distinct - he has one of the most distinctive writing voices. when i hear his parts, when i hear his ideas, i could pick them out of a crowd. like i know the way joe writes, and it's VERY joe." part of the process with post-hiatus was integrating him into the writing process more.

discussing the hiatus and fame and pete says his life kind of "blew up" and took it pretty hard. apparently during production for folie paparazzi actually broke down the gate to neal avron's house

patrick goes on a big tangent about how bad things got during the height of pete's fame. "part of my role is to tell his story. i'm a composer. that's what i like to do. i work on movies, i work on shows, and i work on pete. pete has a story that needs music, and if he's removed from himself, if he's not even able to access himself because he's behind all of this stuff, i don't have a story! so not only did i not have my buddy, which was heartbreaking in its own way, but then i also don't have a purpose as an artist."

patrick says that andy is always ready to play but when you get him happy to play, it's another level

"and trohman, there were these moments where he...he got so excited."

patrick describes writing what a time to be alive as wanting to write the saddest, most desperate song you could hear at a wedding. pete bursts into laughter and calls it "so twisted"

talking about other endeavors outside the band - patrick talks about composing and said joe's been super busy with his book and writing for tv and because there are so many deadlines for stuff like that, it's what hammered home to him that fall out boy needs to not be that. "there's something special about this that can't be...this has to be passionate and art."

discussing how scared patrick was of his own voice while the band took off. patrick was really scared of the song saturday at first because there are some really exposed vocal moments. he describes saturday as a song where everyone in the band lets each other go for it.

zane calls fall out boy the "emo blueprint" and says they were unapologetic in being emotional. patrick immediately says, "that was pete. i don't think we could've done that without him." he and joe were basically kids and patrick was too anxious to talk on stage.

zane says, "i remember interviewing you in the early days and i felt like every time i asked you a question i was bullying you." pete IMMEDIATELY loses his shit.

"in another life where i didn't have a pete...cause saturday, i did write most of that by myself...so there's a world where that song exists without the band. there's no world where i sing it in front of people without pete."

pete says every night before they put out a new song he calls patrick up and gets really scared and wants to back out and patrick talks him down every time

they talk about how scary it was when arm's race released and performing it at the amas. patrick starts laughing rly hard as they get into how there were giant crickets on stage and the crowd was just stone-faced and utterly nonresponsive and their stage manager was utterly panicked

towards the end patrick really loosens up and starts swearing more dlkfjdfd

[jamiesfootball]

i would LOVE to see what you do with “when will you learn?” for the prompt drabbles MWAH

All Rebecca had texted her mother that morning was, "Hope things are well [heart emoji]."

And then this shit.

"Again?! Mother, that's the third time this month."

"You know your father. He just gets a bit whimsical when things are going well."

"No. He's trying to buy you back. That's what he's doing."

"Well, they've all been lovely gifts!"

"Of course they are, mother. Because he's a miserable, shriveled up cock who thinks he can buy your affections because you let him get away with it."

"I'm not naive, Rebecca. I know exactly what kind of man your father is. You're the one who seems to need the reminder. Honestly, Sausage, when will you learn?"

"Argh!" Rebecca smashed at the middle finger emoji, the frustration only growing when she hit a pink heart instead and her handbag slipped out of her arms. "Shit!"

"Um. Everything alright?"

Rebecca swiveled on her heels; her coat slipped off, fluttering to the ground to join her handbag.

Standing next to his car, Jamie Tartt watched wide-eyed as his boss made a silly little fool of herself.

Perfect.

"Here, I can get that for you," he offered, already jogging towards her before she could respond.

Rebecca closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Thank you, Jamie. Sorry, this whole morning has been a disaster."

"Not a problem," he insisted. He picked up her coat and, in an oddly solicitous gesture, gave it a little shake before holding it and her handbag out towards her with a formal, "Here you go, Ms. Welton."

"Rebecca, please," Rebecca corrected out of habit. She shuffled the items in her arm, trying to figure out how to free a hand. She had her keys, her scarf, a briefcase-styled handbag that she hadn't had the time to swap out that morning but that didn't work with the outfit she had on, her gym bag because Keeley insisted they move Pilates to after lunch this week, a to-go cup she'd impulsively asked the driver to stop for-

Her phone dinged. She jumped, nearly dropping the whole lot of it on the ground. "Shit."

"Do you need to get that?" asked Jamie. As if anticipating standing in for her coatrack, he carefully clutched her coat and the handbag that did work with her outfit against his chest. It did not match his iconography at all.

Rebecca waved him off. Flicking her phone over to silent, she complained, "No, no. My mother's just lost her fucking mind this morning."

She attempted to juggle everything again. Eventually, she noticed the silence. When she looked up, she found him staring at her uncomprehendingly.

The thing was that between Keeley's love of girl talk and the promotional materials Jamie regularly did for the club, Rebecca had an entire encyclopedia of knowledge about him stored in her head that she'd never even asked for. Jamie Tartt. Richmond's newly returned striker. Debuted at eighteen. Preferred whites over reds, evening showers, and knew a surprising amount about high-end cars. He also, somehow, regretted none of his tattoos.

It just felt like she already knew him.

Meanwhile back in reality, they'd only spoken a handful of times, and most of that had been contract negotiations and welcome schmoozing.

Probably not a good icebreaker then- maligning one's own mother at half-eight in the morning.

"Not that I speak to her like that," said Rebecca, the need to defend herself overriding any foot-to-mouth filters. "She's just been going through a rough patch with my father, and I think she's being stupid."

Well done, Stinky.

"Right. Um." He opened his mouth. Closed it. Held his arms out and asked, "Do you want help carrying all this in then?"

Gratitude filled her chest at the change of subject.

"Yes. That would be lovely, thank you."

Jamie smiled, lips and opinions kept tightly to himself. He popped off ahead of her to grab the door. With one more glance down at her phone, Rebecca found that at least one heart had flung free, sailing itself into her mother's waiting arms.

Her mum had sent one back in return.

The walk up to her office passed in relatively painless silence. She'd always assumed -- from the everything she knew about him -- that Jamie would be more of a talker. But then in the handful of months since he'd returned to Richmond on a permanent basis, he'd made himself eager to please and keen not to make waves with anyone whose name wasn't Roy Kent.

This was bad news for Rebecca, who personally could have used a small wake to clear the embarrassment lingering in the air. Where was Ted when you needed him?

Driven by mad compulsion and lack of Lasso, she found herself volunteering, "Really, I normally get on with my mother."

"It's alright, Ms. Welton. You don't have to explain anything to me," he answered. He chewed on the inside of his cheek. Then with a small grin, his eyes flicked towards her. "Besides, I wouldn't want to be judged on how I talk to my parents either. Doesn't make sense to judge anybody else on how they talk to theirs, you know?"

"Ooh, I like that. That's practically wisdom." She offered him her own commiserating smile. "I take it you don't get on with yours?"

Jamie shifted like he was about to put his hands in his pockets, only to remember at the last moment that he was actively carrying stuff. He settled for a half-hearted shrug. "I do with my mum, yeah. When I see her, that is."

"Does she live in Manchester?"

Jamie snorted. His eyes lit up. "Always. She'll never move either. Won't even let me buy her a new house or nothing. I tried to surprise her with a new car a while ago, and she asked me how I thought I'd be getting back to London with two cars."

"She sounds like a firecracker."

A fond smile broke out across his face, only to be reeled back in, dulled down into something wistful. "Yeah. She- yeah, she's great."

Without any flourish, he stepped ahead to open a door for her. She could see what Keeley meant when she described him as 'thoughtlessly sweet.' When he wasn't trying to push people's buttons, he was easy to like.

Not that he'd ever tried to push hers. Oh, no- she just hadn't liked him because Rupert had liked him.

Her heart stirred. That kind of behaviour she wasn't proud of anymore.

Pushing down the emotion knotting in her throat, she asked, "Does she have any plans to come see you play at any of our upcoming matches?"

"Nah," Jamie huffed. "No plans for any upcoming matches, no."

"Well then perhaps you should invite her." When he turned towards her with a question written in his furrowed, handsome face, she elaborated, "You know we always have spare tickets set aside for friends and family."

"I do know that, yeah." His eyes darted away from her. Some of the excitement faded from his expression. "Really, I appreciate the offer, but she doesn't come out to my games in Manchester either. She's good with catching me on TV when she can."

All signs indicated that she had hit a sore spot. She shouldn't interfere. Really, that would be the height of hypocrisy- her telling anyone what they should or shouldn't do about their parents. But with her hand gripped tight around the heart in her phone-

She was trying to do better.

Her mother had chosen gladly to stay in the ivory tower her father built. Rebecca might not be able to talk her into coming down, but perhaps she could convince Jamie not to leave closed a door that served him better open.

So she pressed, "How about you invite her to our semifinal match at Wembley?"

He froze up next to her.

"I know that we're playing against your old club, but really, it's a huge accomplishment for the team to have made it this far, and we wouldn't have done it without you," she told him bluntly. His ears caught pink. Emboldened, she continued, "And even if she doesn't care for football, I'm sure she'd love to see you. You can make a special occasion of it. Treat her to a night in London. I know two weeks is rather short notice, but I'm sure Higgins can help arrange some wonderful accommodations-"

"That's not going to happen," he cut her off sharply.

No. No, it wasn't a door at all. Rebecca knew that icy chill. For more than five years, she'd wake to find it haunting the cracks of her reflection in the mirror. Attention focused his straight ahead, not from awkwardness at the situation but in pure dismissal. Every one of Jamie's expressive features was schooled in position of bland indifference, a perfectly sculpted shell made out of a person.

Tower or not, he dawned his armour all the same.

"My apologies," she spoke softly. "I shouldn't have pushed."

They continued their walk up the stairs in silence.

When they arrived, he held up her coat and bag and asked in a nonchalant tone that bordered on boredom, "So where do you want these, then?"

It was exactly the attitude she'd expected from him at the start. Disappointment crawled into her chest and made a home.

"Right there on the tree by the door is fine," she sighed.

His brow furrowed. "Right there by the what- woah." He took a step back, eyeing her coat rack tree up and down appraisingly. "Nice. That's fucking mint, that is. You've got good taste."

A sharp laugh escaped her. "Why thank you. I happen to think so as well."

He hung her bag up. Then, gingerly, he arranged her coat on the other, smoothing out any wrinkles.

Guilt and care made for a strong mix at half eight in the morning. It would take a crueler person than her to leave things on such a sour note when he'd been nothing but darling company before she opened her mouth.

Willing to make a fool of herself one more time, Rebecca called out before he could leave- "Jamie."

He halted, already halfway out the door.

"I- apologise, if my earlier remark made you uncomfortable. I truly didn't mean for it. I only meant to say that-"

She took a step towards him. He stepped back, one foot out of the office.

Her heart felt positively chilled.

"The door is always open," she finished, defeat numbing her ears to her own pitch. Nonetheless, she perserved, determined to say her part even if the wind stole it away. "If you ever do change your mind, talk to Higgins. He'll see to it that she's treated like a VIP. Anyone important to you is important to this club."

A shadow crossed over his face; some dark presence moving in the tower just out of sight.

"I'll keep that in mind," he said cautiously. Then, as simple as snapping his fingers, he closed back up. The armour latched shut, and in it's place was the usual cocky arrogance -- the one she found herself growing reluctantly fond towards. He gave her a wave. "Thanks, Ms. Welton. You've been a help."

She frowned. Gathering the only name she'd never shared with disappointment to her chest, she shouted after him, "It's Rebecca!"

He was already gone, the sound of his footsteps on the stairs the only response.

[stratossphere]

ville x dad’s sex shop customer??? like he’s there and ur horny and u wanna buy something and you end up using him instead FUQAHAHA IDFRKKK

the shop owner’s son | v.v

you go shopping in kari valo’s sex store, but you get something different than what you came for.

warnings: lots of sex toy talk, smut, protected sex, inappropriate use of work time

word count: 4.5k

a/n: THIS IDEA WAS SO FUN TO WRITE hope you like it <3

tags: @asskickedbygirl @lieutenant-cinnamon-roll @kissofdawn666 @brandons-wife @valos-venus-doom @ghoulishguns @4377666 @d34c1

— —

You were not usually an embarrassed person. Hell, you had walked into a sex shop in the middle of the day on a Saturday when everyone you knew was out shopping, and you hadn't cared in the slightest about who saw you.

But as soon as you saw who was working the checkout, all of that confidence immediately died inside you.

You had been to this store quite a few times. Kari Valo, the owner, had a vast array of all sorts of interesting things for you to waste the leftovers of your paycheck on, and you were even on a first name basis with the man.

But, in all your times coming here, you had never seen this man. He was clearly bored, and was facing mostly away from the door while he flipped through a magazine where he was sitting in a chair behind the checkout desk. Because he wasn't paying any attention to the rest of the store, you were able to look him over, admiring him in all his long hair, eyeliner, and tattooed glory as you walked mindlessly around shelves.

That had to be Kari's rockstar older son. There was no way it wasn't. And, if it was, that was the son that Kari had multiple times offered to set you up on a date with considering his son was 'too lonely and too grumpy'. If you had known said son so fucking hot, you would've agreed with the man.

"Yell if you need help with anything." Kari's son muttered, still engrossed with his magazine as you browsed an aisle that was in the direct eye-line of the desk. You narrowed your eyes at a shelf of dildos that ranged in a rainbow of different colors, mentally trying to decide if a pink, sparkly dildo was worth 40 euros when you only had 60 to begin with.

"Do you guys have any dildos that are half off because they were like, already used or something?" That was a joke, but you mostly just asked because you wanted to hear the hot rockstar talk again. He snorted, still not looking up from his magazine.

"That would be a health code violation, so no." God, his voice was deep. As he remained focused on the page in front of him, you set a mental challenge in your head to get him to look at you. Might as well test if Kari was onto something with saying you would be a good match for his son, right? You sighed dramatically.

"Well, I don't know what I want." You said, sounding as miserable as you could manage. You grabbed the pink sparkly vibrator box off the shelf, and then grabbed a rainbow rabbit vibrator box from the shelf below it. "Which one looks prettier to you?"

When he heard your footsteps coming towards the desk, he had to look up, and you were more than pleased to see him doing a not-very-subtle double take when he laid eyes on you. You held out both boxes to him.

"Do I look more like a rainbow type of girl, or pink and sparkly?" You prompted, giving him your most coy smile as you held sex toys out in front of him for him to inspect. He was fully looking at you now, and you noted the fact that where Kari's eyes were dark blue, his son's were a shocking green. Kari's wife must've been really pretty, because their son was downright fucking delicious to look at. "Or would you recommend something else? I'm open to suggestions."

"Colors don't mean shit. Do you want a dildo, or a vibrator?" He said instead, taking both boxes from your hands and setting them down on the counter to look them over. "We also have a wide variety of anal accessories, if you're interested."

"Hey. I care about the colors." You insisted, shaking your head at him for being so uncultured while working at a sex shop before you motioned to the boxes in front of him. "Pick one."

"Considering you just asked me if you could buy a biohazard dildo for cheap, I'll pick pink and sparkly because it costs less." He finally answered dryly, tapping his fingers over the top of the dildo box as he looked up to you. "Is this your first dildo? We have care manuals."

"Oh, far from. I know the owner by name, so you could say I'm experienced." You said proudly, winking at him as you pushed the dildo box towards him. "Save that for me. I'm not sure that's what I want yet."

"I'll apologize on behalf of your owner friend's absence. His youngest son needed a ride to the airport." Kari's (older) son mused, taking the box you'd pushed towards him and sliding it to the side on the counter. You so wished you could remember what Kari had said his name was, but you were blanking. You raised an eyebrow.

"Hm. And you're the older son, aren't you?" It was still a guess, but you would've been incredibly shocked if you were wrong. And clearly you weren't, because the man in front of you chuckled.

"What gave it away?" He asked as he sat back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest where his shirt read SLAYER in flaming letters. You hadn't come in here planning on flirting with the cashier all day, but that was exactly what you were doing now as you leaned down to inspect the little trinkets on the counter so that he had a direct view down your shirt.

"He tells me all about his rockstar son. And, I hate to break it to you, but you look just like your dad." You explained, sticking out your hand across the counter. "He really wanted me to meet you at some point, so I'm Y/n, and you have to tell me your name."

"Ville." He accepted your handshake, and as he did so, you could see him shamelessly staring at your cleavage. "He wanted me to meet you, hm?"

"Yes. Personally, I think it's so that I can get a set of fresh eyes." You said decisively, brushing your thumb over the back of his hand as you shook it before you let it go and motioned to the store behind you. "I'm free all afternoon. Give me some recommendations."

You didn't need any recommendations, because if anybody knew sex toys it was you, but you weren't about to pass up the opportunity to talk sex with the gorgeous man in front of you. And he didn't look like he minded, either, because he was out of his seat as soon as the request was out of your mouth.

And holy fuck. He was clearly over 6 foot, and as he neared you, you could smell his rich cologne and the heavy bite of cigarettes. You already knew he smoked, because Kari complained about it every time Ville ended up topic of conversation, but you really liked being able to smell it on him. He clearly noticed you obviously checking him out, and all he did was let you as he motioned to a wall of assorted vibrators.

"Are you looking to put something in or keep it out?” He asked, leaning his hand against a shelf as he looked down at you with eyes that were eagerly awaiting your answer. You hummed in false thought, then shrugged.

"Both." You were definitely looking to put something in, but it certainly wasn't anything hanging on a wall. In fact, the thing you had in mind was instead now pointing at a shelf of butt plugs.

"How much does this interest you?" He asked, a hint of amusement on his face as he quizzed you. You were really glad there happened to be no one else in the store at the moment, because at this point you two did not look like you were having a normal conversation, and he seemed to be getting closer to you every time you looked away.

"Depends. Do you sell any with the cute heart-shaped jewels on the end?" You asked, grinning up at him as you played with him just to see him react. He was starting to grin now, and he let out an over-dramatically sad sigh.

"Unfortunately, we keep it pretty simple." He said, motioning vaguely to a huge black butt plug as he spoke. You also let out an over-dramatically sad sigh.

"Too bad. I like them cute." Once again, you winked at him when you said that before you turned away to look at more things that were on display. "Do you have any vibrators that are for couples?"

"Any vibrator can be for couples if you know how to use it correctly." He sounded sure of himself, and the amount of interest in his voice had dwindled at you mentioning couples. However, it wasn't gone completely, and he tsked. "Your boyfriend sent you out to buy a vibrator for both of you and isn’t paying?"

"I don't have a boyfriend." Now you were practically laying it at his feet, and you were thankful to see that he was easily picking up on the fact. You then motioned to what seemed to be an endless selection of vibrators. "Choose one for me. I can't decide."

He turned to look at the variety, standing shoulder-to-shoulder with you as he crossed his arms once again and scanned around thoughtfully. You could still smell his cologne, you found yourself silently wondering if he would still smell that good with all of his clothes off. Your brain then lingered on the 'Ville with all of his clothes off' portion of your thoughts, and you didn't even notice he was holding something out to you until he spoke.

"Have you ever used one of these?" As he asked, you read the box, and you realized that he was holding one of those vibrators that slipped over your fingers. Hell, it even had 'great for partner play!' spelled out on the top of the box. You bit at your lip.

"No. Do you have somewhere where I could test it out?" You felt a little bit bad because Kari Valo was so nice and you were currently trying to get into his son's pants inside his store, but it was Kari's own fault for having such a handsome son. Ville's eyes clicked with understanding, and he glanced back towards where you knew Kari's office was behind the checkout desk.

"One second." He then handed you the box in his hand before he stepped around you, and you turned to watch as he went to the door before he flipped the 'open' sign to 'closed'. Your heartbeat picked up in your chest. When he came back, he motioned for you to follow him. "There's a lot of training against letting customers use products inside the store, but you can have a special exception."

"Oh, it's okay! I won't actually be using any products." Just as you passed the counter, you set the box down, trading it for a box of condoms that was in a display box before following right after him as he led you into the back. His grin widened considerably when he saw that, and he had the door open to the back office within a few seconds.

"Well, can I help you with something else, then?" He asked, staying in the doorway of the room as he let you in to his dad's office. His tone was low and sly, and you felt yourself getting even more aroused than you had already become at the sound. You didn't say anything, just held his gaze with eyes that told him exactly what you wanted, then watched with excitement as he took the hint before coming completely into the office and closing and locking the door behind himself.

There was only a split second in between him doing so and you closing the gap between the two of you. You had to reach up on your tiptoes, but you caught him in a kiss, one hand reaching up to cup his cheek as you kissed him hungrily. He leaned down slightly when he kissed back, his arm sliding around your waist as he slowly backed you up towards the small couch.

The couch was covered in junk and boxes, but you and Ville never stopped kissing as you haphazardly cleared enough room for Ville to sit down. You passed the box of condoms to him before beginning to undo your jeans, admiring the sight of him with kiss-bitten lips as he quickly ripped the box open.

However, his eyes were quickly back on you once you stepped out of your jeans and underwear, his tongue darting out to swipe across his bottom lip before he was pulling you down into his lap as soon as you were close enough for him to get a hold on you.

You kissed him again as you settled into straddling his lap, your arm wrapping around his neck and your fingers finding a hold gently on his hair as your free hand helped him get his belt open and his jeans undone.

"Hurry." You breathed as he fought with his zipper, your lips moving to drag against his jaw and down to his throat as you spoke. You'd gotten yourself worked up from all of the flirting, and it wasn't like you had come to a sex shop because you were feeling satiated and not at all horny. He finally managed to get the zipper open before he was pushing his jeans down, allowing his already-hard cock to spring free and up against the hem of his shirt. You felt your heart jolt in your chest at the sight, and your mouth watered. God, he really was good looking in every single place.

"Put it on." He held the condom out to you, and there was a cocky (no pun intended) look on his face as he watched you stare at his erection. You forced yourself to look away enough to get the condom from his hand, tearing the foil open as quickly as you could while his hand rested on your hip.

His smirk faltered just slightly as you rolled on the condom, the gentle swipe of your fingers on his cock making his breathing pick up just slightly as he watched you. He was clearly just as desperate as you were, and you were reveling in the fact.

"I want you." You whispered as you dipped down to kiss him again, shamelessly tasting into his mouth as you positioned his cock at your entrance before slowly beginning to slide down on him. He groaned in response, his mouth dropping into your neck to allow for his teeth to find your skin. You whimpered softly once fully seated on his cock, grinding your hips down slowly and letting one arm wrap around his neck to hold him against you. "Shit, Ville."

"Yeah, just like that." He breathed against your shoulder, his long hair tickling your neck as you began to ride him with your nails slightly dug into his shoulder. He smelled even better up close, and you found yourself having a hard time not inhaling where his head was rested against your cheek. There was something way too addictive about Ville Valo for him being someone you had just met.

As you began to find a steady pace riding his cock, his hand moved to grip your hip tightly and guide you down deeper, low groans leaving his lips with every grind of your hips. You leaned back enough for his head to leave your shoulder then, catching him in another kiss the second he had done so and immediately drawing your tongue across his lower lip. You could taste his cigarettes now, and your head was spinning at the fact.

"All I could picture was what you would look like with my cock in you the whole time you've been in here." Ville said as he began to kiss from your lips down your jaw and to your throat, his teeth nipping gently with every kiss before he was sucking gently at your collarbone. You whimpered at the thought of him doing to you what you had been doing to him as he suddenly pulled at the hem of your shirt. "Take this off."

You quickly followed his request, pulling your shirt up and over your head while his hands quickly found your bare skin as he held your hips. Your breath felt uneven and tight as his lips found your neck, sucking just slightly as he kissed from just under your jaw all the way down towards your sternum. When you felt his breath hot on your tits, you let out a stuttered gasp, only having a split second to let your brain compute before his tongue was swirling hot and slow around your sensitive nipple.

"Holy shit." Your voice was a whimper, but you really couldn't conjure up anything else to say besides that. Your body was overwhelmed by the intoxicating feeling of his every touch, and it didn't help that his hips were gently rolling up into you and thus doubling the pleasure of his cock hitting your sweet spot where you were still riding him.

Your fingers eventually made their way into his hair, pulling on the long strands just enough to make him groan into your mouth as his head dipped back slightly against your hand. You gasped slightly when his teeth bit gently at your nipple, his eyes finding yours with wicked amusement shining in his green irises as he noticed your reaction. He was evidently having the time of his life, and he only groaned as you pulled his hair a bit harder as the tip of his cock hit a particularly sensitive spot inside of you.

"Yeah? Does that feel good?" He hummed at your continuous panting, his lips moving back up to brush heavily at your neck as he continued to fuck up into you where he was clearly getting impatient with your pacing. You only whined, tipping your head to give him every available inch of skin that you could offer as he licked and sucked at your throat.

"So good. Don't stop." You pleaded, although you weren't sure he would've stopped if the building had been burning down. His eyes continued to find yours every time he tilted his head to find a new, more sensitive spot on your neck, and it was easy to see that he was eating your reactions alive.

And it only got worse when one of his hands suddenly left your hip and then promptly slid between your legs before his fingertips were touching to your touch-starved clit. You choked on the limited air in your lungs, your hand moving from his hair to grip tightly at his slightly-sweaty shoulder as he began to rub your clit in slow circles. Your brain was far beyond mush by now, and you barely even noticed the fact that you were digging your nails deep into the skin of his shoulder.

Your hips found a new vigor at the feeling of his fingers on your clit, and your head dropped to his shoulder that you weren't holding onto as you began to chase your own high. The pleasure was only building, and with his hands on you the way that they were, you were far past desperate. You barely even knew this man past his name, and yet you had never been so overtaken by the presence of another human being in all of your life.

Once again, you found yourself thanking Kari Valo. Both for his beautiful son and for providing the couch that you were currently using very inappropriately.

"Fuck, you're gonna make me cum." He groaned as his head rested against yours, his fingers beginning to speed up on your clit as he clearly got closer and closer to his orgasm. You tried to respond and tell him that you were just as close as he was, but you couldn't find the words, instead just groaning against his skin as you let him take the lead.

The small office was filled with the sound of skin-on-skin and the building sounds of pleasure coming from the both of you, but all you could focus on was the feeling of his cock hitting deep inside of you relentlessly against the one spot that made it feel like your body was coming apart one nerve at a time. Your nails were deep in his shoulder, and although he definitely wasn't stopping you, you knew you were leaving marks that would probably become painful later on. 

At least he'd have something to remember you by.

As much as you were trying to hold off to give the appearance that you were better than falling apart the second Ville had put his hands on you, you were no such thing, and you couldn't hold it any longer. Your moans were rising to a desperate, sharp level, and you were seeing stars with every thrust of his cock. If your body hadn't been so overcome with pleasure, you wouldn't have been able to believe that this was real.

When you came, you cried out his name in an almost-sob, the added stimulation of his fingers circling your clit in tune with his thrusts making your legs shake harshly on either side of him as you rode him through your orgasm. He only continued to fuck you without slowing down, his fingers moving away from your clit and giving you a split-second moment of relief before he had both hands back on your hips to hold you down on his deep thrusts. You didn't know how much more you could take, and you had by that point gone lifeless against his chest as he chased his own high.

By the time his hips finally stuttered and you felt his grip tighten considerably on your hips before he was cumming, you were completely breathless and your legs were shaking completely beyond control. Even after his thrusts faded into slow rolls of his hips before eventually ceasing as he ran a hand up your back, you didn't move from where your cheek was resting heavily against his shoulder and your face was buried in the crook of his neck. You felt as if he had drained every essence of life out of you in the best way possible.

"Shit." He mumbled out after a long moment of the both of you trying to catch your breath, his hand continuing to rub softly at your lower back. Even in your state of mindlessness, you were cursing yourself for letting so much warmth settle in your chest over the sex shop owner's son that you had just met not half an hour before.

After a little while longer, you finally pulled yourself away from his shoulder despite wanting to stay there in his arms forever, trying to keep the smile off of your face as you were met with the sight of a slightly-sweaty and blissed-out looking Ville Valo.

"You know, you could bring in a lot of business if you keep working here." You said coyly as you tucked his messy hair out of his face just because you thought you might die if you didn't let yourself touch him again. He chuckled hoarsely, a slight wince tinging his features as you slowly pulled off of his softening cock.

"When my dad finds out I closed the stop for 45 minutes to fuck his prettiest customer, he's not going to let me come back." He mused, his eyes practically devouring you as he watched you pull your underwear and jeans back on from where they had been discarded in the middle of the room. You tutted, waiting until you had your pants back on before you looked around and found a notepad and a pen amongst the mess of junk on Kari's desk.

"That's too bad. I like the pretty cashiers." You teased, writing on the notepad in blue ink as you glanced over at him to see him throwing the condom away and tucking himself back into his jeans before he had his zipper and belt done up once more. You then ripped the top page out of the notepad before turning back to Ville, who had stood back up, and pressing it into his hand. "In that case, this is for you."

Ville read over the small piece of paper with your phone number on it with a hint of a smile pulling at his lips before re-opening the office door, letting you out first before grabbing the incriminating open box of condoms that you had brought with you before following after you back into the main store.

"Oh, sorry! I'll buy those too, since I kind of wasted them." You said as you spotted the condom box in his hand, smiling sheepishly as you stopped in front of the checkout desk where the stuff you had asked Ville to put aside was still waiting. Ville just shook his head, a pleased look on his face as he reclaimed his seat behind the counter.

"Everything is free. It'll come out of my one-day paycheck." He said coolly, throwing the sparkly pink dildo that had started this all, the finger vibrator, and the condoms into a bag before sliding it across the counter in your direction. You stared at him, jaw dropped slightly at the almost-100-dollars worth of sex toys he had just gifted you.

"You don't have to..." Your brain was still a little fuzzy from him fucking you senseless less than five minutes before, so you could barely craft a response, but he didn't seem to mind. He waved your number in the air with a smirk.

"I have this, so your payment can be picking up the phone when I call." He said calmly, his eyes raking over you as he spoke. "Someone has to teach you how to use the finger vibrator, don't they?"

Your legs had already been shaky, but you were a little worried that they were going to give out right then and there. The mere thought of doing what the two of you had just done a second time had your whole body reacting against your will, and you silently surrendered to the fact that you were already ruined for a man that you had just met.

Well, to give yourself some credit, you didn't 'just meet' a lot of men that looked like Ville Valo in your everyday life, so you were giving yourself a pass.

"You really know the way to a girl's heart." You crooned, taking the bag off the counter as you watched him pick his magazine back up casually as if he hadn't just turned your entire body to jello in an office in the middle of the day.

"You have no idea." He said smoothly, leaning back in his chair as he checked you out once more with a soft grin on his face. "I'll see you soon, love."

You refrained from saying 'hell fucking yes you will' out loud, instead voicing a normal-person goodbye before you were leaving him to his magazine with thoughts of your next meeting already in your head and legs that still couldn't quite stop shaking.

[starlightseraph]

final (long) thoughts about the rpf debacle, as i’ve finally blocked all the major accounts involved

regarding david and michael: they seem like two great guys with great chemistry, and they appear to really care for each other. the nature of their connection, their happiness in their relationships, the details of their personal lives, etc are not for any of us to say. we certainly don't need to analyse every thing they do and every flick of their eyes or use 20 year old tabloid bits to create a story about them being trapped and potentially abused and "clearly" wanting to leave their partners so they can fuck. no one dislikes the theorising because it's m/m, anyone who does has issues to work through. 99% of us dislike it because it's invasive, done without any knowledge of the boundaries or comfort of the people it's about.

regarding georgia: idc what other people say, i think she can actually act. i think it's unlikely that my opinion is biased, given that i actually became aware of her before i even knew who david was (merlin, i was 11). do i think she's the greatest actress who's ever lived? no. do i want to fall at her feet to praise every word she types on her ig? no. to me, her public personality is pretty cool and likeable, and she certainly uses her platform for good things. i don't see evidence that david has an issue with the social media stuff that georgia does, maybe a bit of playful annoyance, but nothing too serious. she does actually say good things about him, quite often. when she says things that could be deemed insulting, it’s nothing unique to david, she does that with practically everyone she posts about. i see absolutely no reason to believe that she's abusive, a baby trapper, that her children dislike her, or that david is miserable with her. i genuinely feel that her "stalker" comments were jokes. based on what she and david have said, it sounds like she was acting like anyone with a crush would, texting the object of her affections and wanting to hang out. in my community, completely normal behaviour is called stalkery, just to poke fun at someone for having a crush, sometimes done in a self-deprecating way. as for the peter davison story and its inconsistencies, idk what to make of that. the claims that she got her "david" tattoo right after they met and that she changed ty's name without input from david are completely unfounded. I've seen no evidence for the name bit, and i've actually found evidence against the tattoo story. i'm not proud of it, but i did go digging through paparazzi photos, and she doesn't actually have the tattoo until later. no one, not even the tabloids, seems to have anything about an open relationship or them not going steady before getting married. the first actual records of those rumours is in the blogs that say the rumours have been around for nearly 20 years. all the "evidence" for these last few things that i've seen cited (or even very boldly linked) is from the trashiest of trashy blog sites with 2004-level web design. i take them with a grain of salt, given that not even the daily mail repeats their stories.

regarding anna: i'm ambivalent towards her. i don't see any obvious great talent as an actress or model, but she also hasn't really done anything that has the opportunity to showcase ability in those fields. i also don’t think she has never before seen levels chemistry with the others, but, again, we’ve hardly seen anything. the claims that she got pregnant through a one night stand seem more widely acknowledged, so maybe that was the case. if that is what happened, i have a few things to say. firstly, did neither of these grown adults have birth control? the baby trapping claims imply that she deliberately sabotaged it, which is an incredibly serious claim that we are in no position to make. within this story, michael apparently met her at an acting school graduation and they hooked up. she would've been in her early-mid 20s and he would have been almost 50… the rpf blogs say that they have no personal bias against georgia and anna, and that they're perfectly willing to call david and michael out on their bullshit, yet (to my knowledge) they haven't said anything about this. if they're really so concerned with the truth, and they believe the graduation hookup story, why not call michael out for it?? they were both adults and while i do believe that healthy relationships with a large age gap are possible, it’s still a bit weird given how they would’ve met. also, there are have been lots of (unconfirmed and contested) allegations that michael is a serial cheater, so what makes these blogs think that he wouldn't also cheat on david in this fantasy world view of theirs? i know that at least 2 of the major blogs believe the cheating stories. i believe that people can be bettered no matter what they've done and that they should get chances, but assuming that he wouldn't cheat in this singular situation seems pretty biased to me.

bottom line, we don't know! this is exactly what i’ve said since the beginning, that we have absolutely no place in these people's lives outside of admiring their accomplishments and supporting their work. please, everyone, chill. by all means, write fun stories on ao3 using the likenesses of david and georgia and michael and anna! i find it uncomfortable, but i don't have real moral objections to fiction that is only intended as fiction. i’ve previously said that we don't have a problem with the georgia/anna shipping jokes because they're jokes, and one of the pf blogs said that it was serious because of an ao3 slash fanfic and that we were only fine with it because it was f/f. correction, we were fine with that because it was purely and entirely fictional. not being presented was an investigation into real life.

i've seen lots of these blogs saying that a video of david and michael having sex could be released and the we'd find a way to brush it off or discount it. flipping this and applying it back, i think that david and michael could hold a press conference declaring that they're not in a relationship, and the blogs would work around it, claiming beards and façades.

quick warning to everyone, digital footprint exists. one blog in particular very casually displays her identity, and someone could easily send her graphic sex stories and claims of abuse about real strangers to potential employers or event hosts. this isn't a threat, i really can't be arsed, but it's something to be aware of, that these things can have real life repercussions.

i want to clarify that the only reason i would be bummed if the theories were true is because it would mean that all four of them would have lived in unhappiness. i don’t dislike the theories, while they do claim a variety of disturbing things that i certainly hope aren’t true, because i want to pretend that everything is perfect. it’s the extreme parasocial obsession and complete lack of any boundaries that i object to.

the conspiracy story had been told many times, every single group of devotees to a public figure or piece of media weaves and incredible web of false evidence and imagined narratives. maybe you think that you're actually right this time, that you've become privy to a truth. maybe you are right. but to believe undeterred that this time it’s different and your theories are true is just wishful thinking. if everything is true, great for you, i guess, your favs have been miserable for years, but at least you were right, yeah? it’s a fucking insane mindset to have. until they confirm or deny, you don't get to tell their story for them.

[julienbakerpls]

Happy Birthday Part 1

Julien Baker/Reader

requests - "ok! i was thinking i’ve seen this concept before but like a fic where it’s like a tattoo/piercing shop au and julien works there and pierces reader’s nipples or does a tattoo for her and then asks her out afterwards? and maybe reader has lower pain tolerance and is nervous about it so julien comforts her?"

"need julien saying good girl…"

It was your birthday and you have been hyping yourself up for this for the last year and now you were really going to do it. You booked and prepaid the piercing parlor where you were going to get your nipples pierced. You'd wanted to do this forever but kept putting it off because of how scared you were, and also how much anxiety the thought of taking off your shirt in front of a stranger filled you with.

But it was officially your birthday, and you'd already told your best friend that you were doing this. And honestly she scared you enough that you now kinda had to go through with it.

Your appointment was at 12pm today and it was currently, you paused to check the clock in your car. 11:45am. Okay so it was now or never.

You slowly climbed out of your car, making your way to the shop door. The place had been advertised as a very queer friendly place and that was proven true when you walked in and saw all the pride flags hanging up.

You walked over to the woman behind the counter, she had short black hair, was wearing red lipstick and she was stunning.

"Hi, um I have an appointment at 12 for some piercings?" you asked, feeling anxious and overall too embarrassed to say that you were getting your nipples pierced. She smiled kindly at you and told you that the piercer would be with you in a few minutes.

You attempted to make yourself comfortable in the small lounge area, but failed miserably.

"Y/n?" a voice called, you looked up to see a woman covered in tattoos with big brown eyes smiling at you.

"Yeah, yes sorry." You answered walking over to her. You were surprised to be a few inches taller than her, considering you were usually considered short.

"Alright, if you'll follow me then." She spoke softly and turned around motioning for you to follow her. You took a deep breath before entering the small room after her.

"Okay so i'm just going to lock the door for your privacy, and we can get started. It looks like your getting both nipples pierced?" She asked, looking up from her paperwork.

"Um yes yeah." You stuttered still not fully over how attractive she was.

"Alrighty, oh and it says it's your birthday today, Happy birthday! I'm Julien, I realized I forgot to introduce myself earlier, sorry." She said, making her way over to you and smiling shyly. You felt your stomach swoop, at her big smile.

"Y/n, but you know that already." You spoke, face turning red. She laughed a little reaching back to tie her hair back into a bun. You weren't expecting the physical reaction your body had to that simple everyday action.

"Okay, so you can take off your shirt and bra whenever your ready.." Julien smiled, turning around to give you privacy, but then she seemed to think better about it and turning back around since she'd have to see you shirtless anyways.

You laughed at her actions, before pulling your shirt over your head and reaching behind you to unclasp your bra. You watched the blush creep up her neck and into her cheeks, as she tried to get control of her features.

"Okay, so i'm just going to mark on both sides where the needle is going to go through okay?" Julien said using a toothpick with ink on it to mark both sides of your nipples.

"I have to get your nipples hard for me to be able to pierce them, this is completely not sexual or anything." Her face still slightly pink, but over all completely serious. She helped you lay down on the bench, moving so she was leaning over you. She tugged on your left nipple, her face completely focused on her task. You had to close your eyes, and try to calm yourself down, chanting over and over in your head that this was her job and not sexual in any way.

"Okay, take a deep breath in and release it when I tell you to okay?" Julien asked, smiling down at you. You nodded and she signaled for you to take a deep breath in, you felt the needle against your nipple.

"Breathe out for me." Julien said, you did as instructed, and she pushed the needle through your left nipple.

"Good girl." She spoke softly, screwing the piercing closed.

"Mmmmm fuuuuck." You groaned out, tears filling your eyes.

"Hey hey you did so good for me." Julien soothed you.

"That hurt so much more than I thought it would." You said in almost a whine, your pain tolerance being almost nonexistent.

"Okay one more, deep breath in..... and out." She said in a quiet but firm voice, pushing the needle through.

"Ow fuuuck" You cried, the tears falling from your eyes. Julien quickly grabbed a tissue for you, whipping under your eyes.

"You did so good, and it's over now!" She smiled down at you, moving to get a cotton swab to dab the blood away.

"It's over?" You asked, feeling anxious that you'd never be able to think of another reason to see her again.

"Yeah, you're all set. Just some ground rules, clean them twice a day until they're healed enough to stop getting those little crusts around them. Oh and don't let anyone suck on them or anything for at least 2 months." Julien said, patting your thigh.

"Oh okay, um do I like need to come back for you to check on them at all?" You asked hopefully.

"Not unless you want to, or think you might have an infection." she said with her back to you disposing of the used needles.

"And if I just want to see you.... specifically?" You asked hesitantly, putting your shirt back on. You watched as Julien froze, it was subtle but enough for you to notice and feel like you crossed a line.

"Unless you don't want that... it's fine, uh thank you for the piercings." You called out, swinging the door open and quickly making your way to the front desk to pay. You saw another client go back as soon as you made it to the lobby, sighing and pulling out your card to pay.

"Okay so the total is 150 with the cleaning spray, if you have any questions or concerns feel free to call us." The woman at the front desk smiled, handing you your bag as her phone dinged. She stopped what she was doing to read the message.

"Oh and um there's this bar, that's like right down the street called The Red Door, it's a super chill place to just go and have a few drinks. They also have live music... you should check it out... specifically on Friday nights." She smiled at you, as you started to make your way out the door.

"Yeah sure, Thank you!" You called over your shoulder, you were so anxious you could almost ignore the throbbing coming from your chest. As you climbed in your car you noticed that you left your favorite bra on the table in there, deciding it was now gone forever you started the car and drove home.

-Okay so part two will be better but i wanted to do a little time skip specifically 2 months... so the end is kinda angsty but i don't think y'all are ready for how smuty the next part will be... 🫣

[louisisalarrie]

hii! as for your last text... I'm a new Larrie (for over a year) so I wasn't there when it all happen, but what I can understand why people say that.

First of all I want to say that, although I do believe that Larry is or has been real at some point, there are always many things that make me doubt about it, I can't help but my mind look for all possible explanations for what happens...

So I agree with what you said about why ziam didn't distance themselves and larry did, but this is the non-larry explanation that I have in my head: L and H when the ship started they followed the jokes, they themselves promoted it... (if I'm not wrong), so it's obvious that it didn't bother them, but then it starts to get bigger, and L starts dating Eleanor and H has his little relationships (dont know how to call them in english lol), let's say they were all real, and there are people who start to deny those relationships are true, and that, not only you, but also the people closest to you are all lying for you... So, the larry ship by itself may not have bothered them, but a lot of people overanalyzing every move and trying to prove with everything that those relationships are not real, it might be hard and hurting. So I think it would be understandable if they themselves, or perhaps management as well, decided to separate publicly trying to reduce the rumors. It doesn't mean that they had a fight or that they stopped being friends, just that they publicly tried to interact with each other as little as possible to relax things a bit...

idk, it's the non-larry explanation that I can think of, as I said I wasn't there so maybe I've said something wrong, and besides, english is not my first language so I may not have done the best job writing this. Anyways, I hope it makes sense.

And just to finish I wanted to say that you are my favorite acc here, especially because of the respect you always show for different opinions <3 bye!

Don’t apologise for your English!! This was done excellently and also you are far more clever than me who can only speak one language lol. Thank you for the kind words <3

This is the main theory that antis use against larry, but I’d argue that there is far more proof for larry being real than not. It just makes it look more suspicious if they did that, ya know? Ships have been around for ages and it’s like, the majority of the time people just play into it, like the other boys do, but larry very clearly didnt which just yeah… made it massively suspicious and we continued to get all this proof and bloody matching tattoos over the years, and they looked miserable and weird in every “relationship” they were in.

Everything was just so fake and I can’t accept any of those “girlfriends” were real relationships. Plus, Larries are a massive chunk of the 1d fandom, so if I was their manager wanting to make all the money I can, I’d be getting them to play into it and not shy away, personally. But they were far too obvious lol

[skepticalarrie]

What do you think about this theory? https://youtu.be/h9P-D5XeKfo?si=SYUixGz1jR9yXjyW there’s also some interesting comments under the video, including the one where someone thinks that Harry’s house is a chronicle of L and H’s relationship.

Not to forget about this vid of harry saying “the first time he broke up with me”: https://youtu.be/mYoJs54gwwg?si=TEFypP-BlyT0z0ao. And I remember that one interview (pretty sure it’s this one: https://youtu.be/vW58mqY0G7c?si=shICPVTOQZOMc7Xp), where someone supposedly Liam is saying that harry wanted to remove his tattoos(?) and Louis looked heartbroken. He actually looks miserable throughout this entire vid, as it was around the time when H and Taylor started “dating”. Honestly, it all matches with some of their lyrics and I can imagine Louis not handling the pressure of this entire thing that well and “running away” from it somehow.

I believe that they are stable now, but for me there were some clear break ups.

Now let me analyze their lyrics according to those theories:

(Before I start, it’s gonna be a long run, because I found so many interesting things)

Louis:

“When you don't want coffee in the morning. I know I'm in a hole. It's hard enough to get you sober. Got no chance if I'm hungover”.

“Hey, babe. It's written all over your face, say it. A hurricane behind the door. So I've come ready for a war (…) So when you find out what we're fighting for. I'll be ready to talk”

“And we can't even be on the phone now. And I can't even be with you alone now. Oh, how shit changes. We were in love, now we're strangers”

“And I'm sorry I let you down. I guess that I know what I already knew. I was better with you. And I miss you now”.

“You let your pride hide all your beauty and your kindness. So fast to judge in error, you thought you knew me better”

“I call you but you never even answer”

Harry:

“I'm in my bed. And you're not here. And there's no one to blame but the drink in my wandering hands. Forget what I said. It's not what I meant. And I can't take it back, I can't unpack the baggage you left”

“Test of my patience. There's things that we'll never know. You sunshine, you temptress”

“And I’m just an arrogant son of a bitch. Who can't admit when he's sorry”.

“I don't wanna make you feel bad. But I've been trying hard not to talk to you”

“Sittin' in the garden, I'm a couple glasses in. I was tryna count up all the places we'vе been”

“Only callin' you when. He don't wanna be alone”

So… What I get from this is that Louis might’ve broke with Harry one time because of their difficulties, and he tried to contact him, but Harry couldn’t even bring himself to talk to him over the phone (idk it might be after the band ended). Harry admits that he has communication problems and can say too much, or judge something too soon, which might be the reason Louis left him one more time (maybe it was the first breakup??) And there’s this whole thing of them both drinking their problems away… (Not to mention, that some ppl believe that Harry isn’t sober in that 3rd video I linked here, scrolled trough the comments and there are some theories like that).

Also one funny little thing (off topic, lmao): did you notice that Louis stars Chicago with “I saw you had a baby, did you?” And Harry sings “I’m having your baby” in Kiwi. That could be their insane joke or smth like that.

Quick addition: Harry also has an a entire song that feels like a reassurance (“fine line”) & Louis mentions his supposed love interest trying to be positive during the hard time (““I come runnin' to you like a moth into a flame. You tell me, "Take it easy," but it's easier to say”).

Sorry for such a long text. I know that we can’t interpret everything literally, but honestly… there could be smth to it all.

Hi, anon. "First time he broke up with me" is very much taken out of context, he's talking about Rob Stringer.

I don’t believe in that theory, love. Maybe they did break up at some point or spent some time apart, but I think it’d be impossible for us to really know. It feels like such a stretch to try and connect dots like that. Personally, I don’t see any signs of a breakup (especially when these things were happening in real time) and I think they’ve been consistent with their signalling, plus I don’t interpret any of the songs that way. You're more than welcome to believe it if makes sense to you and I’m not saying you shouldn’t interpret lyrics however you want, but if you’re curious about my take, check out my LYRIC ANALYSIS tag. I also have a THEY NEVER BROKE UP tag for more of this topic, which... trust me, gets discussed endlessly in this fandom (for whatever reason!)

[statementlou]

i’m sorry to bring this up again, but i wanted to ask how are you making sense of harry having his former girlfriend’s name tattooed on his thigh if you don’t think they were really together? i’m not a larrie and i follow you for your louis content, but i respect your opinions, so i guess i’m coming more from a place of curiosity rather than seeking reassurance. do you not even entertain for one second the idea that you might’ve been wrong about things? that harry was really in a relationship with olivia? that he might actually be attracted to women? that he might’ve been with louis once upon a time but not anymore? have you ever challenged your confirmation bias? again, i’m not trying to attack you, i really just want to understand where you stand. i hope u don’t take this the wrong way.

well first of all you bring up the very good point that there are actually multiple Qs at play and not just one, despite the fandom's (and my) attempts to simplify things. I personally am open to the possibility that Harry and Louis are no longer together- we don't have enough info to say for sure either way about that, and I am constantly recalibrating and considering and I'm going to be totally honest, getting flat out ANNOYED at how often I find myself being like oh damn they ARE still (or again) together ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? Because it seems so improbable and illogical! You think I don't KNOW I sound fucking crazy?! Absolutely infuriating, and yet there are just all these little Things all the time. Plus ofc the fact that they both constantly wink wink larrie stuff to the fandom which could just be playing to the crowd... except then they both continually take it that little extra way that makes me go oh but... you really didn't NEED to go THERE that seems VERY pointed?? But also sometimes I go well. Okay, maybe not. Since they both seem super happy at this point, it doesn't stress me out to think they might have split, the way it would if they seemed miserable and were still churning out heartbreak songs, but it's schrodingers relationship and with all the savvy they've acquired around this stuff and all the balls they're keeping in the air wrt to fandom etc that's unlikely to change in favor of us knowing anything for sure for a very long time, if ever. But I do not doubt that they WERE together, it's simply not realistic. The evidence of it is overwhelming and imo undeniable when taken all together. And the thing is that knowing one thing with certainty (that they were together back when), having really looked at the things that happened during that time, does actually have a lot of bearing on the rest of it even if they aren't together anymore. Because knowing that and having seen the way fake relationships to make them seem straight were managed back then means that when I see the EXACT SAME things being done in the current day, like they are working from a fucking blueprint, no, I don't look at that and think it might be real. I know that Louis and Eleanor wasn't real in... whenever they allegedly got together lol, that story still isn't even quite straight, so why would I believe they were together in 2020? And if I know Louis has a tattoo for a fake girlfriend why would it change my mind about a million things I can see with my own eyes if Harry did the same (if indeed he even has who tf knows)? So despite what I said at the beginning, in the end it kind of does just come down to the one question people are always asking, are you a larrie? Because when you've actually been down the rabbit hole of details that ends up with you saying yes to that question, it's like acquiring a rosetta stone that unlocks the ability to read everything else, like putting on xray glasses, and I look at what is so obviously a publicity relationship (holivia) and whether H and L are still together has nothing to do with why I don't think it's real. Like could a celeb relationship be both used in typical ways for publicity and be or become real on some level (looking at you Liam, heyyy), sure, but for this question the fact that I have never seen Harry show the slightest sign of attraction to a woman in his whole life and he so clearly embraces and identifies so strongly with gay male culture in every possible way and never shuts up about how much he loves cock does play into my thinking; I simply do not think he is attracted to women, no, and I have yet to see him do anything that doesn't seem consistent with things a closeted pop star might chose to do. So in conclusion yes I have challenged my bias and decided I'm right lol! But for real- all the time I consider that they perhaps aren't together but that isn't really the point when it comes to believing they are gay.

[acheronist]

HI ISABEL i was thinking abt ur beechey boys + peglar/armitage extended cinematic universe while doing my laundry earlier (<- normal guy behaviour) and now i'm curious if u've thought of any actors/face claims for them – beechey boys especially bc we don't even have terror versions to use lol 👀🎤

HI GENEEEE 🖤 this is interesting.... honestly i've never been very good at fan casting shit because my default is always just going "x character should be played by riz ahmed" which ummmm would not work here i fear.

anyways everyone watch out there's gonna be mummy images below the cut

okay i really don't care about actors enough to do this well ummm LMAO johnny bertchtold YOU🫵🏻 are now john shaw torrington!! except johnny's way too tall and also ripped to be jorts.... i will say tho, as annoying as the john torrington/david young erasure is in the amc show, they did kind of nail it with alfie kingsnorth... now that's a skinny blonde bitch who looks half dead! he's got the right big round eyes + prominent cheekbones as jorts

if we could get some mutton chops and the uniform of a royal marine private onto ferdinand kingsley i think he'd be fantastic as william braine..... actually now that i'm looking at this i kind of feel like a genius for this one LMAO??

john hartnell is a little harder because i've already decided in my heart that this daguerreotype is 100% undeniably him even though the chances of it are actually probably very low. in actuality. but i have tried to match up the daguerreotype "hartnell" with the mummy hartnell and i do think it's a super close match.... i just wish mr. daguerreotype hadn't tucked his hair over his ear so i could compare the shape of john's ear.... but anyways there is actually one bg dude from terror amc who i have also kind of decided could be jarts!!! he was one of the dudes who voted to stay on terror and die there instead of out on the shale before everyone abandoned ship... he's got the right haircut for it <3 but also i think rob james-collier could be kind of a slay for jartnell if we can get him back to his downton abbey prime

and then thomas morgan hasn't really made his debut in the beechey boys cinematic universe (yet. chapter two still cooking......) and we also haven't exhumed HIM so this is really just like throwing a dart and calling it good. i did draw a little version of him here tho . so do with this as you will i guess. me when i'm just making up whatever the fuck. he should be kind of sickly looking as well though because my dude was going THROUGH it (+ he had one million pre existing conditions) before he died.

and for like... henry & thomas theyre much more nebulous in my brain..... maybe i'll try and draw them later!? i did do fanart here of henry tho but i fear it's got a heavy amc casting influence on what he looked like.

real life facts: thomas (5'9") is 2 inches taller than henry (5'7"), henry probably had broad/strong arms and shoulders due to climbing around in the rigging for his whole career, both of them had brown hair, and thomas was older than henry enough that he was probably starting to get salt-and-pepper grey during the miserable stressful parts of the expedition. henry's id papers describe his complexion as "sallow" and based on how many captains said he had a shitty/indifferent/bored attitude while working leads me to believe my king had chronic resting bitch face + looked vaguely exhausted and pale and unwell even when he was healthy.

also in my heart amc nailed it with giving thomas curly hair tho... charlie kelly is cute to meeeeee... unfortunately he isn't 40 years old enough. no source no facts anyways i just want to believe in curly girl armitage supremacy. ALSOOOO in my heart (again) henry has sailor tattoos-- HOLD FAST on his knuckles for good luck in the ropes + two swallows on his chest under each collarbone to mark his 10,000th mile at seas. i forgot what i was talking about. i think do think k*vin g*thrie's face was honestly too conventionally attractive for henry though. i just know my man was mid as fuck. frown lines from scowling, ink stains on his fingers at all times, never worn sunblock ever, thinks splashing water on his face counts as moisturizing etc.... MY henry peter peglar is pretty weather-beaten and looks like a mean cunt and sometimes he snarls at people like a badly trained dog. amen.

[5and3nevermind]

I'm sorry to put this here I know this blog is dedicated to yoonmin but I also know that you are an ot7 and all this that is happening with yoongi worries me so much that sometimes it makes me lose sleep. I started following the group in chapter 2, I still haven't really seen them as the 7 BTS together and it makes me very scared not to see them together as 7.

Following from afar, sometimes I have the feeling that we will receive a notification of the big hits informing that Yoongi is no longer part of the group and this makes me so sad.

Is it normal for the company to do absolutely nothing officially to stop these attacks it has been receiving? Once again I apologize for the outburst and I hope you understand what I wrote because I still have a little difficulty with English.

Hi anon!

This is just my opinion. This is a sensitive topic, but this is how I see it.

First of all, what Yoongi did is so minor. He was on a scooter…and not like a motorcycle/motorbike scooter. He was basically on a motorized skateboard. He was on the sidewalk. No one was hurt and no property was damaged. If he’d been on a different model/brand of scooter, what he did would have been completely legal. It even took the police a few days to figure out how to categorize his scooter, so how could Yoongi be expected to know? He thought that what he was doing was the safe way to get home after drinking. And yet here we are.

All of that said, I completely understand how you feel. This has been an awful time and I worry about Yoongi every day.

But here are some things that I believe and I hope maybe they make you feel better. We won’t know anything for sure until 2025, but in the meantime…

1. We don’t know how Yoongi feels right now, but we know he has the full support of the other members, of his loyal friends, and of many, many Army around the world. The media is being ridiculous. They are writing hundreds of articles about a man falling off a scooter, but very few about another idol who left his group due to SA allegations. They are hypocrites and bullies. I trust that Yoongi is wise enough to realize this and to know that what he did wrong is very, very minor.

2. BTS has risen to a level that goes beyond K-pop, so the regular patterns don’t apply. In the past, an idol might have had a “controversy” and been forced to leave the group. But Yoongi isn’t a typical idol. He is a writer and producer of a vast catalog of BTS songs. He’s a shareholder in the company. He is a Grammy nominee. And he is admired by a fan base who firmly believes that BTS is seven members. Period.

3. I’m calling this #3, but it should be 2a. BTS is internationally famous. That gives them a degree of freedom that other groups might not have.

4. I believe the members are close and that the 7 tattoos were no joke. They’ve demonstrated for 11+ years that they aren’t simply coworkers. They mean so much to each other. It’s hard to imagine a scenario in which they move forward without Yoongi.

In terms of the response of the company…time will tell, but I believe the company is waiting and being smart. There has not been an official conclusion to the investigation, so anything that’s said at this point—by either Yoongi or the company—has to be very precise and (I’d imagine) be approved by the company’s legal team, PR team, etc. But I have no doubt that the company is building a case and will go after anyone who has slandered/harmed/harassed Yoongi during this time.

Maybe this will sound naive, but I really do believe in karma, and it’s already at work. Every reporter who tried to bully Yoongi into harming himself…they can’t possibly be happy, fulfilled, secure people. They are miserable. They have to wake up every morning knowing they’ll write ten morally questionable, factually inaccurate articles about a man who is by all accounts smart, kind, and generous.

Same goes for the antis who want Yoongi to leave the group. These miserable people are fundraising for trucks used to circle Hybe with negative messages about Yoongi, when instead they could be raising money for worthy causes. They know this, and they have to live with themselves every day. They dedicate hours of their time to harassing Yoongi instead of focusing on their work or studying or seeing friends or helping a neighbor or going for a jog or a million other worthwhile things they could be doing. And I have to imagine that’s absolutely miserable. Can you imagine someone asking you, “hey! What have you been up to?” and answering, “Oh, just stalking and harassing a perfectly nice person who is absolutely beloved by millions of people…” That can’t be fun.

Anyway, this turned into a really long post because I have made a point to not say too much about this whole situation, but there it is. I believe Yoongi will be fine, I believe the group will be fine, and I believe we will have a very happy 2025. Because I believe that what BTS has built will withstand this test, and I believe people who act shitty almost always lose in the ways that matter.

[elvenbeard]

🏳️‍🌈 Vince (& Kerry) at Night City Pride (2/10) 🏳️‍⚧️

"A merc in fuckin' sequins" 🤘

Firstly, I told myself, I'm not gonna get too carried away with modding before I finish my second playthrough. But also, I had this vision of Vince in a sparkly sequin rainbow coat, and my hand slipped... and yeah, here we are, the "pride clothing for fucking posers" collection is steadily growing xD Nothing released into the wild as of now, and I won't manage that until the month is over most likely - but not like you can't wear pretty rainbow things all year round!

Secondly, the quote above always kinda stuck with me... It's from the Jinguji side-job. At the end during the convo with MaxTac, V can decline their offer of joining them with "nah, I'd feel like a merc in fuckin' sequins".

The thing is... Vince literally is that, a merc in fuckin' sequins. Not just literally, like in the sparkly clothes I have for him, but also figuratively. He never wanted to be a merc in the first place, not able to picture himself in that gritty world, no matter how much Jackie tried to convince him that it was good, easy money (both of them were still in their late teens/early twenties at that point and trying to make ends meet somehow). He had no interest in stealing and killing for a living. He loved his tech, he thought about becoming a netrunner maybe, but everything that went down the more physical lane, fighting and so on, was never his thing. Still isn't. He's short, was always kind of scrawny... he's more the "I'm gonna shit-talk myself out of this dangerous situation somehow". Not quite to, say, Saul Goodman levels, but definitely more like that than anything else.

Then he was recruited for Arasaka. He'd only just begun to get a bit more daring with his clothing choices, his hair, tattoos, and the recuiters immediately told him to "tone it down". At the time, still not nearly as confident as he is now, he did. He wanted that job, almost out of spite, but also morbid curiosity... and he could actually see himself being good at the kind of work he was offered to do for the corporation.

His time at Arasaka changed him, equipped him with many new skills (and many new issues). But he was so much more braver, a hell lot more confident and comfortable in his body, trusted in his skills. But he had also learned one fundamental thing: he didn't want to even try and fit in anywhere anymore, because that's not who he is, deep down, and trying to conform to Arasaka's standards made him absolutely miserable.

Sure, making a resolution is one thing and actually sticking to it another, but as he then became a merc after all, after Jackie's death, his own death looming on the horizon... he more and more began to embrace being the "merc in sequins", the solo that didn't want to fit in with the rest. And he actually turned out to be rolling extremely succesful with it, with staying true to himself, standing out, and doing things his way.

Sure, he can be subtle if he wants to. "You can never get the corp outta the rat," as Jackie said. He'll still rather raise no alarms, tries the stealthy approach whenever possible, and if things go wrong would rather talk himself out of the situation than kill. But he also relishes being an extravagant motherfucker when he gets the chance to. Those who don't take the "merc in sequins" seriously, the weird little misfit that weasled himself to the top from the very bottom, will learn the meaning of regret soon enough.

[azrielgreen]

I try to focus on the comments I get, and I don’t want to be ungrateful. I do appreciate them more than anything. But i can’t help but rely on them *too much*, and compare them to those of other writers. Especially to yours. In any fandom I’ve ever been in, I’ve never seen anybody get the kind of feedback you get. Like people saying you change their lives, and everything. Enough that they get tattoos inspired by your work. I just don’t think I have that in me. That ability to inspire or affect readers long term—beyond just a quick read before they’re onto the next story. I don’t know if it comes down to style or energy, or if some people are just special. But I feel like if I can’t get people to feel that intensely, then maybe I should just stop writing. But I don’t want to quit. It’s like a vicious cycle, so discouraged that I don’t write, and if i don’t write, then how can i reach anybody at all?

Hello, lovely. So I've been thinking for a few days how to reply to this because I think honestly all writers feel like this at one point or another and visibility of the struggle is really important, especially when participating in fandom.

It can become very easy to get stuck on needing comments and feedback to continue and while fanfic is great for this kind of "as you go" support/encouragement it can also be really amazing to sidestep fanfic altogether for a while. Write something JUST for you. Write a book. Poetry. Anything where you're not getting feedback. Touch base with your creative self again. Fandom can be exhausting at times and we give so much of ourselves without even realising it, so if you're not feeling good about fanfic, that's an excellent sign to take a break. There have been months, years in between my participation in fandom/fic writing and I promise, taking a break is natural and healthy. Energy is cyclical and we need to replenish.

This brings me to my second point, which refers more directly to the kind things you said about me specifically. While I would not ever deny that I consider myself a capable writer and I have a lot of confidence and very passionate belief in myself, I've also been writing for a very long time, since I was twelve. I've been in fandom writing fic since i was 17. I've been writing professionally since i was 25, and I'm in my 30s now. I do tend to devote a stunning amount of time and mental energy to writing: in the past, at the expense of my health. I don't do that anymore, but it's an example of why you should never compare yourself to other writers because the situations are always so radically different. It's easy to look at statistics and think, "Why can't I do that/get that?" but the reality is that everyone is at different stages of their journey, and everyone is completely different.

I have no doubt that you're a talented writer because talented writers question themselves all the time. You have stories inside you that need to be written and told in the way that only you CAN! But they won't happen if you're worrying about comments/hit numbers, etc...

Generally, I've found that success is what happens when you're too busy to notice it. Focus on your work, on the next project, on yourself. Dig deep, branch out, love your process and expand, experiment, and remember to take a break when it's not fun anymore. Your mood is always guiding you. If you're happy, excited, and passionate, you're on track. If you're despondent, miserable, or anxious, it's time for a break. Fandom can be wonderful, but it's also the perfect breeding grounds for "comparison blues". Fanfic should make you happy.

I'm always here to offer guidance and support.

Az.

💜💜💜

[lastlycoris]

She's in prison now. Got her own orange jumpsuit and everything. She probably should've been more bothered by this - well, she was. The full body search was beyond humiliating, and being leered at by her soon-to-be-fellow prisoners was also an experience.

Apparently, Blackgate Penintentiary housed both male and female prisoners but in different wings. However, during yard-time, they were allowed to see each other, albeit a fence between them.

She probably would've gotten more trouble if she hadn't entered the place looking like she tore out someone's neck with her teeth. At the very least, it kept her new cellmate Sandra, a tall 6' buff brunette, subdued who looked like she wanted to intimidate her - but then thought better of it.

That evening was very awkward.

Sandra worrying she wouldn't get killed in her sleep.

And for her where sleep just wouldn't come.

---

Three days later:

It's amazing how one could get acclimated to things - like having a floor toilet inside the shower or having one's cell inspected every single day. Or the general loss of freedom associated with a prison cell.

Her family's lawyer Jensen came by the other day despite massive obstruction by the prison, but she managed to get her story out to her. Jensen said that she'll unfortunately be stuck here for the near future because her previous plea bargain's working against her. She wasn't supposed to cause trouble after all - and despite the accusations against her, biting Katherine's hand was trouble.

She should've been more bothered by this. But she wasn-

"Hey. You a chomo?" Sandra carefully asked from the top bunk.

The buff lady had been surprisingly friendly after the whole "I'm not a serial killer" thing had been resolved. Sandra had wanted to establish dominance when they first met in the cell, but the woman totally chickened out upon seeing her look like she bit someone to death. And then Sandra just laughed at explaining that.

Sandra wasn't bad company. She did tend to randomly ask questions - weird ones sometimes like "do you think cows know when they're going to get slaughtered?" or "think the aliens will come for us if we ever land on Mars?" Like now.

"I don't even know what that is?"

Her face with short-haired bob poked out from the top bunk, staring at her upside-down.

"You know. Chomo? Child molester?"

She could feel her eyebrow twitch at the accusation.

"What the hell gives you the vibe I'm that?" she replied, affronted. "And the answer is no by the way."

Sandra rose her hands up in surrender, which made her slide off the top bunk. The woman awkwardly flops over, assisted a bit by her supporting arm, before talking again.

"Well, no one knows you," Sandra explained after she righted herself and sat on your bed, "You look too clean to pitch drugs. And you also went off to the rehab facility. And people only go there if they're cuckoo or...y'know a chomo."

Sandra shrugged.

"Well, first off. I never went to prison before, so I doubt anyone will know me here, " she replied, "And I'm not cuckoo or a... chomo. Ugh. I went there cause Dr. Quinzel, who I've been seeing, thinks I finally went off the deep end."

And it was extremely annoying to keep hearing said doctor call her Lyco the entire time, the "mean Euri" that she postulated before.

"Oh. Dr. Quinzel. Everyone know her in Blackgate. She sees the big crazies. Loves them," Sandra said, "That's a relief! Great even!"

"Wait, how's that great?"

"If you were a chomo, I'm duty bound to make your life miserable, " Sandra added seriously, showing off a motorcycle tattoo. "Part of BACA, Bikers against Child Abuse," the woman said proudly, "So yeah. What did you do anyway?"

Uhhh.

"Well, I'm here for murder in the second degree. Caught my husband in bed with another woman. Knew they've been at it for a month. And when I took the pictures, hubby went for a knife..."

"And I threw him off the fifth store balcony," Sandra punctuated the point with a fist into a palm.

"...That sounds like self-defense," she questioned.

"Haha," she laughed awkwardly, "I threw the mistress off the balcony too."

"Ahh."

"So what'd you do?"

"The crime I'm going to get framed for, or the crime I did?"

"There's a difference?" Sandra asked.

"I cut a man's belly open - just the skin, nothing else," she added as she saw Sandra twitch - her addition didn't seem to help, "after he struck his daughter who just had brain surgery - for being a waste of money."

Smack.

Ow.

Her back was sore from Sandra's "friendly" gesture. She suddenly was dragged to the woman's side, her shoulder being hugged.

"Man. I knew we would get along!" she then added before letting go, "So wait what's the crime you're getting framed for then?"

"Do you know Katherine and Matthew in the med wing?" she couldn't help add a dark tone.

"Twiddle i-dee-ot, and tweedle dumb," Sandra said, "Yeah, don't visit the med wing unless you're about to dead. And even then, you might be better off dying. Heard Rob in the other wing never been the same since he's been taking psych meds from them. And Jean had a wound fester and had to get a leg amputated. Lot of nightmare stories."

"I found out how bad they were, reported it upstairs," she replied, "And well, now I'm being framed for nuking the electronic health care record system. Or at least that's how I'm expecting it's going to go. And Kat also tried slapping me that day, so I took my piece of flesh."

"That why your mouth was so bloody when you came in?"

"Mmhm."

"Dang."

[fairytail-whathesays]

Can we get some Laxus/Elfman SFW and NSFW headcanons 👀?

Welcome to your newest vested interest, Fairy Tail gays.

Stealing and repurposing this gif.

Laxus is the ultimate unstoppable force, Elfman is the ultimate immovable object. I actually think these two have a better chance at chemistry than about half the ships their fans slot them into. Especially if we tap into the idea that Elfman, realistically, probably has some baggage from constantly being overshadowed by his sister, a feeling Laxus would relate to as he always used to feel overshadowed by his granddad.

You can't tell me Elfman didn't think Laxus was the coolest thing in the world even before he bulked up in his late teens. Badass eye scar, bigass sound pods, tattoo, incredible power for someone so young. Laxus was over there being bitter and broody and emo-cusp-punk, and Elfman was just all about that.

Laxus actually fucking loves Elfman's dress sense? Like, someone that big and loud should not be able to pull off the clothes Elfman tends to wear. He looks great in a white suit and that kimono he wore inbetween Edolas and Tenrou? 壮大 !

Wouldn't it be fun if there were some Fairy Tail melodrama happening and everyone is trying to guess who Laxus likes like absolute children, and they get as far as "someone with pretty blue eyes" and "someone with soft white hair" and they unanimously guess Mirajane, but it was actually Elfman? I think that would be funny as hell.

Get Elfman riled up enough, and he will not stop until he's accomplished a goal, no matter how out of reach it seems, and that's something Laxus really admires.

I like to think Elfman would be able to help Laxus handle and keep a lid on encroaching dragonization symptoms. Much like Mirajane knowing what it's like to have an inner darkness, Elfman knows what it's like to have an unfathomably powerful inhuman beast inside, trying to take over. Dragonization isn't good for mental health or physical health, and it's crazy to me that Laxus (and Cobra) are essentially doomed to this process with nothing said about helping them reverse it. The potential for fics based around this concept, of course, is endless.

Laxus very quickly gets tired of Elfman's more superficially timid qualities--you know, the shyness and awkwardness. They're endearing, of course, but not when they hold Elfman back from taking what he wants and keep Laxus from feeling the affection he wants that he knows Elfman is capable of--which is complete, total, and genuine. I think after a certain point, he'd tell Elfman to drop the shy act and come get what's his.

Elfman: I thought you were straight. Laxus: [horrified]

Elfman is one of the few people Laxus might actually talk openly about Ivan to. Contrary to popular belief, Ivan may be a colossal shithead and a miserable excuse for a person, but Laxus wouldn't have been so broken up about him leaving if that was the way he remembered him. Of course, Elfman echoes the guild-wide sentiment of "I'll totally sock your dad in the jaw if you want" given it deeply offends his pride as a family man to see the way Ivan ended up, but he's also a gentle enough guy to understand Laxus' conflicted feelings about his father.

Where LaxElf differs as a romantic relationship from a fwb/fu*kbuddies relationship is that Laxus responds to Elfman's shyness about PDA by emphatically trying to kiss him in public. No shame in his game.

Laxus' clothes, especially his oversized coats, actually fit Elfman. Which means that he gets to wear anything he wants out of Laxus' closet, and Laxus encourages it because he likes Elfman's scent being on his clothes.

They spoon and they both fight over who gets to be the little spoon. No, I'm not kidding.

You can find some extra headcanons about these two's sex life here.

Let's suppose that, by some chance, Elfman is actually a virgin when these two are ready to roll around in the sheets. Laxus would emphasize being the one to take his v-card even more, because someone's first time needs to be good or at least not suck, especially if it involves things going up your ass.

Even if this isn't the case, their first time is incredibly tender and gentle. Elfman feels like he's in heaven before the fucking even starts, and every kiss really feels like love. Laxus spares no expense because he realizes that Elfman doesn't have the same sexual confidence he does.

Elfman insists on missionary a few times at first, because he likes being able to cling and wrap his limbs around Laxus, but Laxus very quickly sells him on the idea of laying on his stomach and getting the royal treatment.

The sounds Elfman makes when getting fucked are downright addictive. Laxus has but to spend a few seconds remembering their last encounter and what it sounded like before he starts needing to cross his legs in public.

Like I said, eating ass is a top priority for Laxus. Elfman sitting on his face is practically what Laxus considers a reward for good behavior.

And again to reiterate: their top/bottom designation is not set in stone. Laxus does want Elfman to be able to top if he wants to and Elfman does express some interest in it, even if the size of his d/ck does inhibit things somewhat. Elfman almost always gets Laxus on hands and knees and eases in gently when they switch it up.

Of course, with how much lube they have to use and how slow they have to go versus Laxus' limited patience means that they don't do it very often, not just because Elfman prefers to bottom anyway but because Laxus legit just doesn't have time for it. On the other hand...

This means Laxus is more likely to indulge Elfman's wild, needy, dominant top side, because if he's only gonna bottom once in a blue moon they may as well not waste the opportunity, right?

#NoRegrets. Alright, maybe some regrets. Especially when he tries sitting down on anything the morning/week after. But still no net regrets. Laxus won't let Elfman dote and fret and apologize, either, he's got to own it like a man.

They kiss like they're going to die if they even stop for breath when they're fucking.

They get busy in the shower, too. Not enough room for two men that big, but man, that water is scalding and they have their hands everywhere.