#and also i find it genuinely hilarious to go around wearing while walking my obviously intact dog

[lucifer-is-a-bag-of-dicks]

what happened the first time Wes tried to crack open the Danny is Phantom conspiracy did he like, confront Danny first or was it all behind his back like, maybe hoping ground zero would be lost among the gossip and that Danny wouldn't find out who spilled the beans once everyone knew

I mean it obviously wouldn't work because nobody believed him and the gossip didn't take off very far beyond a few people talking about Wes being kinda weird

I should absolutely write a fic about this.

I am absolutely going to write a fic about this.

I AM RIGHT NOW GOING TO WRITE A FIC ABOUT THIS.

----

"Hey Fenton! Fenton!!" Dash came bounding over and threw a meaty arm around his shoulder.

"Jesus Dash! What?!" Danny buckled under the weight (pretended to anyway) as Dash gave him a surprisingly lighthearted punch on the arm.

"You haven't heard?! Wes has this total batshit insane theory, it's hilarious!"

Dash was in a genuine giggle-fit, Danny didn't think he'd ever seen him this merry, he was also starting to suspect he was going to leave this conversation being the butt of the joke somehow. Wait-

"Wes? Who the heck is Wes?" Danny asked, it wasn't like he knew everyone in school, like Dash seemed to.

"He's on the basketball team, you know, tall guy, red hair, threw a sick move at least month's game! You know, WES!"

"I didn't watch that game."

"Oh," said Dash, flatly, "Oh yeah, almost forgot you're a total nerd. Anyway, like I was saying!"

Dash grabbed Danny by the shoulders and nearly lifted him off the floor.

"Wes thinks," he could barely speak through his giggling, he even snorted a few times, "Wes thinks your secretly PHANTOM."

Dash dropped Danny back down as he doubled over laughing.

"Could you imagine?! You! You're not even DEAD!" Dash honest to god slapped his knee in mirth.

Danny went through an incredibly swift array of emotions in the span of about five seconds.

The first was fear, clear and bracing, then came confusion, how did he know? Had he seen something? Then there was hope, Dash didn't believe it, and if DASH didn't believe it, maybe nobody else believed it either. Then relief, he could roll with this, he could TOTALLY roll with this! Dash was right! It was absurd, it was ridiculous, it was hilarious, him being Phantom? What utter nonsense!

Sam and Tucker had been standing by his side at a Dash-safe distance, looking absolutely horrified. Sam looked ready to jump in and lay down a swift defence, but Danny gave a quick little low wave for her to stand down. He got this.

"Oh my god SERIOUSLY?" Danny busted out a slightly hysterical laugh, okay so he wasn't completely over the initial terrified anxiety.

"How could I- I mean what- WHY does he think I'M Phantom?! I mean how does that even work I don't-"

Dash clapped him on the shoulder, this was probably the most contact he'd ever had with him without being physically assaulted.

"I know right?! Like apparently he thinks you look alike? And he's all like 'But I've seen his eyes glow green' and 'they're never in the same roo-hoo-hoom." Dash wheezed and started hacking and coughing.

Danny carefully constructed a look of offence.

"Hey I mean, it's not THAT funny. Why couldn't I be Phantom! I know how to use a Fenton Thermos! Look I even HAVE one right-" he torn open his backpack and pulled one out, making sure to fumble it in a terrific display of fuck-uppery and drop it noisily on the cafeteria floor, he dropped to his knees trying to grab it but knocked it under a table.

A few girls standing nearby who'd been listening in started tittering, one of the guys sitting at the table snorted milk through his nose and Dash was just about on the floor in hysterics.

Even Sam and Tucker covered their mouths in an attempt to look like they were holding in laughter. Tucker muttered to Sam, just loud enough for people around to hear.

"I mean, he's our friend and we love him, but god that was painful to watch. He knows he's terrible at ghost hunting! He's got like, nothing but thumbs."

Danny climbed under the table, grabbed at the thermos and lifted it up as he crawled back out.

"See! See! I have a thermos! I could TOTALLY be Phantom!"

Sam walked over and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. "It's okay bud, I think you'd be a great Phantom." her voice was thick with her usual sarcasm, soaked in pity though it were.

Danny's ears burned in embarrassment, he might have been humiliating himself on purpose, but it was still humiliating, watching everyone laugh at him for being so weak and incompetent. He was grateful to his friends for pushing through their discomfort and keeping up the act, it was still painful, but it came with a wash of pure unadulterated relief.

Nobody believed this Wes guy, nobody thought it could be even remotely possible. People would talk about it for a little while, have a laugh, maybe there would be a few memes and in-jokes, but eventually it would drop off. People would forget all about it and it would be just another notch on the gossip mill belt.

Even if someone DID believe it, they could never admit it for fear of vicious ridicule, for once in his life peer pressure was his friend.

And then Wes walked in.

Once Danny saw him he realised that he did recognise Wes, he'd seen him hanging around Kwan a few times, and chatting with Star, he was also in Danny's english class. That was about as familiar as he got with the guy, they'd never spoken a word to each other.

Wes had a terrifying expression of seething fury ripping across his face. He was glaring at Dash.

"It's NOT. FUNNY."

Dash was completely unable to stand, it was honestly overkill, Danny almost thought he was hamming it up on purpose, but maybe not, his face was turning an alarming shade of red after all.

"Wes don-" Dash gasped. "Don't do this to me man, I can't brea-" Dash was gasping for air, trying desperately to hold down the giggles.

Danny could almost see steam rising as Wes seethed. Then suddenly that furious stare was shooting daggers straight at him. Danny shrank into himself, looking as small and helpless as he possibly could.

"Uh hey Wes, um, I've heard the news." he joked tacking on a nervous laugh for emphasis. "Uh, soooo," he tossed the thermos from hand to hand, nearly dropping it again. "Is this like, just a joke or do you really-?"

Dash continued to wheeze, Kwan was holding him up by the arm, muttering about getting some water to cool off.

Wes strode over until he and Danny were face to face, he was taller by a good couple inches, even more so with Danny making a conscious effort to appear small.

Wes jabbed a sharp finger into his collarbone.

"Don't think I'm fooled by this pathetic act you've got going on, I am ONTO you, Phantom." he spat.

Danny glanced sidelong at the table beside him, silently begging for assistance, they only watched in silence, strained faces trying not to laugh. A glance the other way to his friends, they simply shrugged.

"Um, okaaay," Danny started backing away slowly. "Uh look Wes I am honestly really flattered but, do we really look that alike?" Danny ran a hand through his hair and then pointed up at Wes. "I mean we BOTH kinda have Phantom's haircut."

Sam deadpanned from the sidelines, "Maybe they're BOTH Phantom."

"We should start marketing that haircut." Tucker muttered to himself, tapping something on his tablet. "We could make a fortune, are you any good at hairdressing?"

Sam shot him a look of disgust and did not dignify the question with a response.

"Don't play dumb you two," said Wes, flipping his focus, "You're definitely in on this!"

The entire cafeteria was awash with giggles by this point. Just about everyone had heard about Wes' theory, but were mostly convinced it was some kinda joke. Now? Now they knew Wes was straight up fucking delusional.

He glanced around as people laughed, at him. At HIM.

"It's not funny!" he yelled over the crowed, the tittering increased in volume. Someone across the room yelled-

"Hey if I get the haircut, can I be Phantom too?"

One of the goths stood up on her seat.

"I've GOT the haircut! Mom says it's MY TURN to be the Phantom!"

There was a fresh round of mirthful laughter, some kids wheezing as hard as Dash had been. Another few kids piped up above the cacophony, throwing jokes of their own.

"I've got a soup thermos so I'm Phantom now, sorry sweaty I don't make the rules."

"If I wear a Phantom shirt does that make me Phantom ALL the time or am I only Phantom when I'm wearing it?"

"I have an ass, Phantom has an ass. Conclusion: I am Phantom's ass."

"Tag yourself I'm the thermos."

"DO THE BUTTS MATCH?"

Wes had been trying to scream over the din, infuriated, desperate to find SOMEONE who would listen.

Danny gave him a pat on the back.

"Hey, if it makes you feel any better, The Guys in White once hunted some guy down because he had white hair, if a government agency can fuck that up then-"

Wes slugged him.

It wasn't a particularly solid punch like Dash's hits, it was quick and precise, Was wasn't a brawny guy, but he was lean and fast and had good aim.

Danny whuffed out a heavy breath as Wes' fist collided with his sternum and he collapsed to the floor.

Everyone in the cafeteria lost their shit, a few people screamed and one table of football jocks all stood up chanting, "FIGHT. FIGHT. FIGHT. FIGHT."

Tucker ran over to him as Sam stepped up and without hesitation slammed a fist straight into Wes' nose.

The footballers lost their minds, one of the goths stood up on their table screaming "REPRESEEENT!!"

Wes backed up immediately, crying out from the sharp pain blossoming across his face, he'd never been hit before and couldn't pull his thoughts together quick enough to throw a punch back at her, so he was taken by surprise once again as Sam placed a solid roundhouse kick to his stomach.

He had certainly not been expecting that kind of brute strength from her, she had incapacitated him swiftly and effectively, barely having broken a sweat.

One of his teammates hollered over the crowd and came barrelling down on the goth, she dodged without batting an eye and darted nimbly out of the way, giving the guy a quick kick in the pants to throw him off balance as she rocketed for the cafeteria door.

As Wes took a deep breath through his mouth, his nose dripping blood, he realised that Danny and Tucker were gone. The fight had lasted only seconds but Sam had run distraction well enough for the boys to take off without anyone noticing, a glance around showed Tucker supporting Danny about to exit through the cafeteria doors.

The doors opened to an out of breath Mr Lancer on the other side.

"'The Light Fantastic!' WHAT is going on here?!"

Oh they were all so fucked.

[enderwoah]

ORIGINS SMP HEADCANONS (because i love them): SEASON TWO EDITION BAYBEEE

(this is really long ENJOY :gun:)

tommy

he is phil's son smile

phil's most recent son at least

he's got like one more somewhere

he picked this one up off the dangerous streets a few years ago and he's been sticking with phil ever since

his wings are small- not too small to fly, but they're untrained to the point where it would take a lot or work to get him off the ground

but at first, he didn't really seem to want to learn all that much?

(he has three scars on his face- all from trying to learn how to fly when he was younger)

(he gave up after the third one)

("if at first you don't succeed; try, try again" is his motto, and he tried all three times)

but!! phil and wilbur are very persuasive :) and now that he knows he can fly, he's not going to rest until he does

he's a little manipulative to get what he wants sometimes, but can you blame someone that lived on the street for so long?

he had to do that to survive! it's not his fault.

(it's a great excuse.)

he laughs like a kookaburra amen

he squawks when he gets scared

he chirps. he tries not to because it makes phil go absolutely bird-brained but he does sometimes and he hates it.

tubbo

NOW'S YOUR CHANCE TO BE A B[GUNSHOTS]

god he is. so fucking annoying (/rp)

he simply does not know when to stop

he ignores social cues to see when someone is annoyed

(see: he can read social cues. he does read social cues. when you get annoyed that's when he starts being more annoying, because you're more likely to give him what he wants to get him to shut the fuck up.)

he loves talking to (at) people, especially people he doesn't really know that well

so he's trying to be friends with ranboo, but the absolute prick keeps trying to avoid any actual conversations, so that's not working

he buzzes when he gets excited-happy

his fingertips are completely blackened and horrendously sharp, functioning as ten individual stingers

they don't do any actual damage but he's working on that

techno

wither hybrid (??)

how can you be a wither hybrid?? nobody got down and dirty with the wither

he's an experiment

the reason we haven't seen him yet? he's staying away from the main area of the smp

he doesn't want to ruin its natural beauty with his withering effect, so he keeps to himself on the outskirts of the smp

which sucks

withers get health from killing things

he's not fully a wither, so he gets energy from being around people and sort of draining their life force a little bit

he feels terrible when he's with just one person because they are Literally his life support and it makes the person feel like shit

when he's with a big group of people its great!! he only has to take a little bit from everyone and its barely noticable!!

but then there's the wither part. so he has to stay away.

he's always tired

always exhausted

he's a farmer, so taking it from animals works, but god does he miss people

but he can only visit a few times and for very short

(he's afraid that one of these days he'll get so bad that the next time he sees someone he'll accidentally kill them)

(it already happened once. he's blessed that he's been forgiven, even made friends with by the victims, but he doubts he'll be able to pull that off again with no consequences like last time)

wilbur

phantlings are dead elytrians, and given that wilbur was phil's son...he's a phantling

he died in the late 50s and was a librarian when he was alive, so he's very possessive (ha) over all of his things

you should never ask to "borrow" anything from him, he will hound you about it until you give it back

it's best to just say that you want something from him to keep

even if youre going to give it back

just for your own peace of mind

phantlings can feel fear and get a genuine feeling of elation from scaring people

of course, sometimes its unwelcome (feeling large amounts of fear from someone they care about in a bad way just makes them pissed)

but for the most part, wilbur loves appearing in the corner of people's visions just to jumpscare them a few minutes later

all in good fun, of course!! it's just hilarious :)

being the lighthearted, fun guy he is, he's not particularly secretive about his method of death

"how did i die? well, it all started -- ended -- on november 16th, 1958!"

"i walked out of the library late, since i took the shift for my wife since she was feeling sick and i worked there anyways,"

"the streets were dark and only lit up by gaslamps...and out of an alley...appeared..........."

techno.

he didn't mean it. wilbur isn't at all mad at him (anymore)

he was starving. he didn't know that one touch would be enough to fully revitalize him...

and murder wilbur where he stood.

sneeg

has details on everyone on the server

you Cannot Hide Shit From Sneeg

its impossible

if you find of his any shittly little mouse holes then you're doomed

you find one and there are twenty more

he's under your floorboards while you're having your important discussion about trapping the nether roof

sucks to suck ig??

he seems to be the favourite of many, which is weird since he rarely goes out of his way to actually talk to many people

he's the only person that tubbo doesn't actively try to annoy (or maybe he just doesn't find tubbo's antics all that annoying)

he's the only person that ranboo stays around (or maybe he stays around ranboo- he and Phil seem to be the only ones not off-put by his slightly sadistic and whiny demeanour (not counting tubbo, who annoys him anyways)

phil seems to be more protective of him than he thinks is normal (he lets sneeg ride on his shoulder while travelling, so he doesn't really complain)

niki is completely protective over him (again, not complaining)

contrary to popular believe, he does not get high from sugar

if anything he gets

high-per

(get it)

(high-per)

(hyper)

he's literally just a nine-year old getting a sugar rush leave him alone

phil

take the normal "bird-brain" headcanons and multiply it by like sixty-four

and you've got origins phil

he can't see glass- or, rather, he can, but it doesn't register that 'hey, this is a solid surface i am going to slam into'

its very funny for everyone else but he's pretty sure he has permanent brain damage from the blunt force trauma

if there is ANYONE on the server who dares to chirp, bird or no, they must understand that they are signing away their privacy and giving phil the right to go absolutely bonkers over them momma bird style

(shoutout to tommy, wilbur, ranboo, and fundy for having to suffer through this)

"oh??? you don't have wings?? you don't have feathers?? omg?? then what's this im preening?? what do you mean im just braiding your hair?? nono this is preening smile"

god help you if you dare to have wings

poor tommy, wilbur, sneeg, and tubbo

phil can't help himself alright

do you think he wants to be any sort of protective over sneegsnag?

no!! but he cant stop himself!! sneeg might damage his wings if he keeps flying those super long distances!!! nnnno! carry the bug man!!!

it's weird, he's always had that protective sense over ranboo, too

but ranboo very obviously doesn't have wings, so he doesn't get it...

ranboo

yes ur a peasant

yes ur poor

yes im cooler than u

what r u gonna do about it

the enderdragon's son! partially a dragon, partially enderman, partially human (don't ask, his other mom is a hybrid), all spoiled brat!

given that he has a ton of dragon genes, he's extremely possessive over his stuff and Yes He Does Do The Hoarding Thing

he has a pile of rings and gold chains and necklaces and most of his jewellery hidden underneath his bed

(if you ask him, no, he doesn't)

not to wear

just to Have

one time, fundy stole one (1) bracelet from the hoard and ranboo was sent into a panic for a good 24 hours

he wouldn't leave his cave and kept counting and recounting as if that'd make the missing piece reappear

(when fundy had to give it back because of the guilt, he expected to get his face bitten off)

(instead, he just watched as the prince was flooded with relief, telling him to get the hell out and nothing more)

it's weird, he has so much gold and even a crown, and yet here he is

living with all those people ^^^

truth be told, the enderdragon isn't a very nice dragon

nor is she a very kind queen

nor was the other queen

nor was her son

there was a mutiny in the end, leading to the dragon queen and her wife being killed brutally by the crowd of angered people

they went after their son next, who had ordered executions and worked servants to the bone just as much as they had

they cut off his wings in the middle of the square

he was sure he was going to die until a random person (a peasant) jumped up and yelled at them for publicly torturing a child

but ranboo didn't really catch all of it, given he was delirious from pain

he got to get some stuff quickly and escape with his life

this wasn't too long ago, either, so he's still trying to...adjust...to people talking rudely to him

(he's also trying to adjust to not having wings)

(hence why he hurls himself off the edges of cliffs and then has to teleport to the bottom instead of glide. he keeps forgetting.)

[early2000smovieimagines]

Meeting and Dating Oliver Wood

(Not my gif)(Requested by anonymous)

- Oliver... what can we say about Oliver.... Handsome, charismatic, sweet, ...and far too obsessed with Quidditch to use his very desirable traits to land himself a girlfriend.

- Truth be told: Oliver has never met a girl capable of sparking his interest enough for him to choose them over more time with his favorite sport. Well, no girl except you.

- You and Oliver first met when you were seated next to each other in one of your classes. Since you were seated together, whenever one of you had a question or had to do work with another person, you did it with each other.

- Oliver likes you. Oliver really likes you. He’s never gotten on with a girl so easily before, ...and you’re pretty; really pretty, and you don’t even care for Quidditch all that much and that somehow doesn’t even bother him!

- Every time there’s going to be a game, he asks if you’ll be there; surprising himself with how much he cares about your attendance. He feels this surge of pleasure every time you wish him good luck and he yearns to kiss you “for it” as well.

- I should probably give you guys a fair warning: Oliver may have a bit of a prejudice against you if you’re in Slytherin; considering they’re his main rival. He’d obviously prefer to date someone in Gryffindor but a Slytherin girl is the only one that would really throw his feelings for a loop.

- So Oliver has a crush on you for a fair bit of time, and he’s adorably shy about it because he’s never really had a crush on someone before. He’s lost count of how many times he’s had to look down at his paper to try and hide the blush and/or smile on his face because of something you’ve said or done.

- He first asks you out after a big Gryffindor win. You’d gone over to congratulate him before returning to the school like everyone else but before you got too far away, he’d called out your name, causing you to turn back to him.

“I was jus’ wonderin if ya’d go out with me?” He asked, to which you obviously agreed to, causing a relieved and happy smile to spread across his face.

- For your first date, the two of you sit out in the field together and talk. He confesses that he’s liked you for a while and is very happy and flustered when you say that you liked him for a while too. He also talks to you about Quidditch, though at the time, you had no idea just how much the game would come to affect your life....

- You share your first kiss a few weeks later. You’d offhandedly mentioned that you wished he didn’t have to go as he got ready for practice. He’d paused, smiling and asking “you do?”, momentarily forgetting about what he was doing.

- Soon enough, he was leaning in closer and closer before pressing his lips to yours in a soft, quick kiss. He pulled away, insisting that he really had to go and giving you a quick peck before he happily made his way to practice.

- And just like that, Oliver finally found something that gave Quidditch a run for its money.

- There’s quite a bit of Pda in your relationship; usually on the more innocent side of things. He’s a fan of being adorably affectionate with you.

- Handholding. It’s the easiest thing for him to do; especially when you’re walking together and he’s holding a broom in his other hand.

- Long hugs.

- Getting softly pulled into forehead kisses.

- Soft, sweet kisses.

- Celebratory snogging after he wins a game.

- Shutting him up with kisses; usually when he’s been talking about Quidditch for an hour. As much as you love him, you sometimes just can’t sit through hours of sports talk that you don’t even really understand.

- Where do you think you’re going? It’s his favorite thing to say when you move to get up from under his shoulder as you’re sitting on the couch together or when you’re hopping out of his bed while the two of you are/were cuddling.

- He’s the big spoon when you cuddle. It’s his favorite position since he can hide his face in your hair; away from the sun, and feel you pressed close, his arm wrapped around you and keeping you there.

- He probably consistently falls asleep on you whenever you cuddle. The two of you usually take naps together after practice or a tough game.

- His favorite nicknames for you are Angel and bunny. There’s just something so sweet and fitting about them.

- He likes when you call him captain. He thinks it’s really cute ...and hot; depending on your tone.

- You wearing his jersey is his kink. You asked if you could try it on one day, just out of curiosity, which he’d obliged and ever since, the vision of you in that damned sweater invades his mind.

- You gave him some kind of good luck charm at some point and now he won’t go through a game without it, whether it be something like a little heart drawn on his hand or a bracelet of yours.

- Cheering him on at games.

- Checking on him after he takes a tumble in Quidditch. He always insists that he’s fine but he does find your fussing to be pretty cute.

- Getting taught all the intricacies of Quidditch at length. He can talk to you for hours about it so let’s hope that you learn to like it or are just really patient/love him enough to suffer.

- Even though you may or may not be clueless about it, he still likes to run through his Quidditch ideas/plans with you; at least if you’re in Gryffindor. You find it sort of touching that he genuinely cares about your opinion.

- Oh the things that can happen on an abandoned Quidditch field....

- Letting him rant to you about Flint and the other teams or when practice is being canceled, etc.

- I’m sorry but you’re not the only one who’s dating Oliver, okay? You’re sharing him with Quidditch and you’ll occasionally have to vie for his attention against it.

- You know that Oliver has to be lowkey jacked from all of his training, right? He probably likes lifting you up while you’re hugging/kissing or throwing you over his shoulder, or chasing after you and grabbing you around the waist to spin you around.

- He likes being able to warm you up. He’s always all smiles when he takes your hands in his and/or breathes hot air on them, or when he just pulls you in close to his body.

- Dates at the Three Broomsticks.

- Laying out on the grass of the school. You’ll usually lay between his legs with his arms wrapped around you.

- Taking walks by the Black Lake together.

- Just being in the same room and enjoying each other’s company while doing your own thing.

- Sitting up in the astronomy tower.

- If you’re going to special events with him than be prepared to see a kilt. The first time you did, he told you not to laugh as he came out and you were; probably, speechless for far different reasons.

- He can always make you laugh. He’s hilarious; even when he’s really not trying to be.

- Teasing him about his accent every now and again. You’re the only one who’s allowed to do it and it’s only because you’re so cute.

- He is fully convinced that Scotland is the best place on Earth and he will not take any other answer. He promises that he’ll take you there over one of your breaks and prove it to you if you don’t believe him.

- Compliments, compliments, oh how he loves them. He jokingly pretends as though he knows how good he is, stretching out and brushing off your praise with a poorly concealed grin.

- Trying to cheer him up when his team loses a game. He’s always bummed out for at least a day but you do make him feel a little better just by being there.

- Giving him a light slap on the shoulder to stop him from saying something or to scold him when he says the wrong thing/something very unhelpful.

- Patient boy. He’s really good at explaining things to you, always giving you a soft chuckle and some reassuring words before going over whatever it is you don’t understand again. He finds your frustration to be sort of cute.

- He can always see if you’re not doing alright and softly checks in on you, giving you a little squeeze on the arm and tilting his head down to meet your eyes. He asks if you’re alright or makes you a little promise to make you feel better, usually asking “How does that sound?” before giving you a “Yeah? Good.”.

- He tries to be comforting but he’s not very good at it. It’s the thought that counts, right?

- He probably doesn’t immediately notice when someone is flirting with you but can’t stop thinking about it after you or someone else mentions it. It bothers him but on more of a itch that can’t be scratched level.

- He’s not overly protective but he does defend you if need be and likes to make sure that you’re safe.

- The two of you really don’t fight all too often but you will occasionally have one; usually solving it in the same day/same place after a few minutes of arguing. Sometimes, when he’s really mad, his accent gets so thick that you literally cannot understand him and have to stop and just say “what?”.

- You both expect the other to apologize if they’re in the wrong and he has no problem doing so. He’ll give a “‘M sorry alrigh’?”, taking you by the shoulders and giving you a small smile before pressing a kiss to your forehead.

- He doesn’t say “I love you” a ton but he does say it occasionally, usually out of nowhere when he just gets this sudden rush of realization that he is so lucky to have you.

- Look me in my eyes and tell me that Oliver wouldn’t want to make a little army of Quidditch playing babies. Why stop at one or two when you can make a whole team?

[lobaeclipse]

Vigil is my first purebred dog, first dog that I researched the breed and the breeder, the dog that got me into training and sports, and so far only intact dog that I have owned. He's a working line German shepherd from heavy police and schutzhund bloodlines so I was worried about balancing temperament with structural soundness. After a lot of reading and talking to mentors, I figured I'd give it two years for the sake of his health and then reevaluate for the sake of my health.

He's now almost six and a half years old and I haven't considered neutering him. He is an absolute Mama's Boy when it comes to training and socialization and aloof to strangers but not aggressive. Aside from the herding breed stare he tolerates other dogs as long as they respect his (our) space, but if someone else stares back he will posture. He's gentlemanly to bitches that he knows and likes - Rynn, my rescue mutt who is half his size and can literally walk under him, regularly snarks him and he tolerates her nonsense. Half of my friend's Malinois puppies fall in love with him and although he doesn't really like them he is very fair about warning them away from his toys and his ears.

He has to sniff everything and will do the gross pee licking thing. Potty breaks take twice as long because he has to mark. Also his aim is not great and he will piss on his front legs. Over excitement leads to humping when playing with other dogs, and his friends either tolerate it or tell him to fuck off. He was an absolute hellion from about six months to about two years until his adult brain grew in but I think that had more to do with adolescence in general and I'm glad it's over with. Overall, he absolutely has and can be a jerk but I don't think that the presence or absence of his balls affects much of anything.

Me: my next dog will probably be an intact male

Literally all of my friends: don’t do it

[jazy3]

Free Guy Review

!!!SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

If you haven’t seen the movie Free Guy (2021) stop reading right now! Drop what you’re doing and go get yourself a ticket! You’ll thank me later!

I loved this movie! I saw it this weekend for the second time because it’s that good! I first saw the trailer on YouTube a while back and then when theatres reopened a few weeks ago I saw the trailer again and my interest was piqued. I had high hopes for this movie based on the fun looking trailer, the premise, the cast, and the sense of fun and escapism that the movie seemed to embody and it did not disappoint. It’s always nice when you have high hopes for something and it meets or exceeds your expectations.

Free Guy is just such a fun and joyous movie. Never taking itself too seriously, packed with lots of heart, cool cameos, full of gaming and pop culture references, and it’s fueled by a unique concept that is well executed. There are just so many things I loved about this movie! It was a ton of fun to watch and the actors clearly had a blast making it. During the movie I kept trying to figure out where I knew most of the actors from but couldn’t place them. When I got home, I googled it and I instantly realized why. The roles are just so different and the actors embody their characters so completely you lose yourself in the film and get completely sucked in. I was honestly so surprised when I figured out what I knew most of the actors from because the roles that they’re known for are so different from their characters in the movie. Their appearances, established ages, and even the accents are so different that I literally did a double take, but that’s what makes the movie so good! Because the main actors obviously didn’t need the paycheque they were just there to have fun and it shows. I think if the situation had been different and the actors involved had been desperate for money or took the role for some other reason it wouldn’t have worked. The film would have come off as cheesy, forced, cringeworthy, or just plain bad. Free Guy is none of those things. The film stars Ryan Reynolds as ‘Guy’ a bank teller in a video game called Free City, Jodie Comer whose best known for playing Villanelle in Killing Eve as programmer Millie Rusk and her avatar Molotov Girl, Joe Keery whose best known for playing Steve Harrington in Stranger Things as programmer Walter ‘Keys’ McKey, and Taika Waititi whose best known for playing Viago in What We Do in the Shadows as the Head of Soonami Studios and the film’s main antagonist and villain Antwan. Rounding out the cast are Utkarsh Ambudka as programmer Mouser and Lil Rel Howery as Guy’s best friend and bank security guard Buddy. In a nutshell, Free Guy is about a bank teller named Guy who finds out he’s a non-playable background character (NPC) in an open-world Grand Theft Auto style video game called Free City. Guy becomes the hero of his own story after meeting Millie, the girl of his dreams, and winning fans all over the world by racking up points by being the good guy and helping others. After leveling up and helping Millie escape a dangerous situation in the game, Guy wins her over and she falls for him thinking that he’s another player. But when the world that Guy knows and all of the people in it are threatened, he teams up with Millie to save his friends before it’s too late. In the real world, Millie enlists the help of her former programming partner and best friend Keys in a race against time to stop their code and all of the sentient characters from Free City from being deleted by Antwan the developer who stole their code when the game’s sequel launches. I love that the movie had a unique premise and didn’t overcomplicate things. There are so many movies that I’ve gone to see over the last few years with such excitement only to be disappointed. For example, I loved Wreck It Ralph, but was so disappointed by its sequel Ralph Breaks the Internet. The trailers made it seem like it would take the premise of the first movie and move things into the online gaming world, and I was excited for that. Instead, the sequel left the premise of the first movie behind entirely and way over complicated the plot and the end result was extremely cheesy and disappointing. Free Guy’s strength is that it’s a self-aware movie made by self-aware people who are excellent at what they do. The movie doesn't take itself too seriously, nor should it, and that allows the story to flow and the characters to feel real and genuine. The movie achieves that perfect balance between being entertaining and telling a cohesive and important story because while the movie never takes itself too seriously the people behind it are serious about what they do. This was very clearly a passion project for all involved, especially Ryan Reynolds, and it shows! As he’s spoken about in interviews and on Twitter, Reynolds called on a lot of his friends to be in Free Guy and help him out and the end result was fantastic! I loved all of the cameos! The Chris Evans cameo was by far the funniest and the Alex Trebek cameo got me right in the feels. When I saw the movie in theatres me and everyone else in the theatre gave a collective “awww” when he appeared on screen. Enlisting real YouTubers to show up as fictional versions of themselves to talk about Blue Shirt Guy’s popularity was a nice touch and you’ve also got blink and you miss it voice cameos by John Krasinski, Dwyane The Rock Johnson, Hugh Jackman, and Tina Fey. Channing Tatum appears as the avatar of player Revenjamin Buttons which for the most part was hilarious. One of my few criticisms of the film is that they went a bit overboard the avatar’s antics as Guy and Buddy are attempting to leave and it got bit a cringeworthy. But I know other people found it hilarious so to each their own. I love all of the little details and references in the movie. Just listing them all would be a post in itself. If you’re someone that loves pop culture references and Easter Eggs this is the movie for you. The characters are fun and believable, and you get attached to them quickly. The actors commit completely to their roles which is makes the humour, romance, and heartfelt emotion of the film work. You buy it. 100%. Something that I absolutely loved was that the characters felt realistic and that the dialogue, attire, and settings for each character really felt authentic. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve watched a movie or TV show and walked away thinking, “The person who wrote that clearly never meet a kid, teenager, or twenty something in their life! That was so unrealistic.” The slang’s all wrong. The dialogue is so eloquent everyone sounds like they did Shakespeare in the Park last summer. You walk away thinking, “What the hell was that? No one talks that way!” What I loved about the characters in Free Guy is that they felt like real people you could actually run into or walk past on the street. I’ve read in interviews that in addition to the written dialogue the cast did a lot of ad-libbing and improvisation and the end result is both hilarious and relatable. The dialogue feels real because it is. The big exception to this of course is Antwan who is altogether off the wall and ridiculous. Antwan is such an outrageous, absurd, vulgar, and cartoonish character. He’s so fun to watch and the actors clearly had a lot of fun with his scenes! I’ve read that a lot of his lines with Keys and Mouser were improvised and I believe it. When he goes all Jack Nicholson on the servers? Lord. He’s such a great villain to watch. The characters that are established to be in their twenties like Millie, Keys, Mouser, and the other employees at Soonami Studios talk, act, and dress like they’re in their twenties. The actors that are in their forties are styled to look like they’re in their thirties and honestly, they’re in such great shape it works! I mean I was honestly shocked to find out Taika Waititi’s real age. I love how the costuming really fits each character and allows you to learn more about them. Keys’ clothing is your typical gamer chic which makes because as we learn from his interview with Millie coding is his life and what gets him up in the morning. From Mouser’s clothing we learn that he’s a sports fan, but also isn’t afraid to take risks like with that blazer ensemble he wears in his final scene at Millie’s apartment.

Millie’s clothing shows the contrast between her and her avatar Molotov Girl, and Antwan’s ridiculous coat enhances the overall wackiness of his character. Guy’s clothing tells us something too. He wears the same thing every day until he meets Millie in the game at which point, he starts deviated from his Free City programming and chooses a different blue shirt. I also really love that they put thought into why Keys needs to wear glasses. Something I noticed on rewatch is that Keys is far sighted which is why he has his glasses on when he’s looking at his laptop or computer and sometimes when’s talking to other people, but not when he goes to see Millie at her apartment or when he goes to get them coffee at the end of the movie. Another interesting aspect of Keys’ character that I noticed on rewatch is self-confidence is really something he struggles with in contrast to Millie and Mouser who are very confident. Millie is a genius programmer and Mouser is excellent at what he does, and they are both very confident in their coding abilities, but Keys isn’t despite being every bit the genius that Millie is. At the beginning of the movie when they first notice the issue with Guy Mouser jokes that Keys needs to be better at his job. In response Keys meekly says he thinks he’s pretty good at his job and trails off at the end. Mouser is just joking around, but because Keys lacks self-confidence comments like that hit him hard. Mouser is moving towards his own desk as he talks so he doesn’t notice how self-deprecating and uneasy Keys’ response is. In the interview from the indie games conference that Millie plays for Keys at his apartment, he brushes off the interviewers comment that he’s a genius and says Millie is the real genius because she created the AI engine and he just wrote the code to make it work. Later on, when Keys helps Millie get into the stash house, she calls him a genius and he tells her that as he’s currently sitting on a toilet stealing user code he doesn’t exactly feel like one. Millie responds offhandedly that he never does, but luckily, she knows better. When Keys realizes that Millie was right, and that Antwan did steal their code and their game worked he tells Millie they need to celebrate because once everyone sees their build she’ll be celebrated and she could win a noble prize. Both Millie and Keys are geniuses in their own right. The game wouldn’t have worked without both of their skills and Guy wouldn’t have come to life without both of them working together. Millie’s AI engine made his sentience possible, but Keys is the one who gave him hopes and dreams so that when he met Millie in the game, he came alive. When done right the settings we see tell the story just as much as the characters do and I love how realistic the settings in Free Guy look. The floor at Soonami Studios where Keys and Mouser work looks like a real office and I love that the desks have clutter and personal effects on them like real cubicles do and that they show Keys taking a box of his stuff with him as he leaves. The lobby with the moving water videos and Antwan’s massive but largely empty office fits perfectly with the obnoxious, zany, and over the top character that he is. I also love the contrast between Keys and Millie’s apartments and how those settings tell us a lot about each character and where they are in their lives when the film starts. When Keys comes home from work to find that Millie has broken in, we see that he lives in a stylish one bedroom apartment with an open concept kitchen full of stainless steel appliances, a large living room centred around an expensive wall mounted TV and entertainment system, with his computer and gaming station set up in the corner. On the walls we see artful clusters of black picture frames, through a partially open door we see a bedroom off to the side, the apartment is full of black and white furniture including a plush couch and nice lamps, and features a textured silver accent wall. All of which makes the fact that Millie managed to break in even more impressive because it is clearly an expensive apartment in a nice building. Keys’ style is minimalist and upper scale and based on what we learn about the events that took place before the start of the movie this indicates that Keys got the apartment and all of the nice stuff in it using the money he received when Antwan bought his and Millie’s game. In contrast, Millie lives in a bachelor apartment and spends her time in coffee shops ordering one single black coffee over four hours. This tells us that she kept her original apartment that she had from before the game was sold and is living off the money she got from the sale while she spends all of her time trying to find the proof she needs to win her lawsuit. When we see Millie’s place, we find that it’s cozy, full of plants, throw rugs, quilts, and comfy furniture. She’s got a bike in the corner, you can see her bed from the centre of the room where she’s got her computer and gaming station set up adjacent to the coffee table and the rest of the living room furniture. Her kitchen is smaller and full of wooden cabinets and her bathroom door has DIY multicoloured square panels on it. Keys and Millie’s apartments are very different and through these settings we see the contrast between where these characters are in their lives, their wealth, and their personal style. The song ‘Fantasy’ by Mariah Carey is featured heavily in the film and is guaranteed to get stuck in your head in the best way! Jodie Comer’s cover of it is amazing! It fits the moment where Guy makes it to the island that is Millie and Keys’ original build and shows it to the world perfectly. This movie made me appreciate Mariah Carey’s music in a whole new way and I can’t be the only way. After watching the movie, I went looking for the song on Apple Music, wound up listening to the Mariah Carey Essentials Playlist, and I’ve become obsessed. I knew some of her hits, but after listening to her music more I get why people love her so much. Her five octave vocal range is amazing, and her music is just so fun to listen to. The film has a really great soundtrack overall and I’ve had many of its song on repeat since I saw it. Something I really loved about this movie and the reveal at the end that Keys is in love with Millie and is desperate for her to notice, but she’s been oblivious the whole time is that they don’t do the supposedly nice nerdy guy whose really a jerk trope. So many movies do this where you have a nerdy male character whose unluckily love, looked over, or his love is unrequited, and we’re supposed to root for him because he’s a quote “nice guy”. But really, he’s not. He’s a jerk who feels slighted because a woman in his life doesn’t love him back or notice him and he feels as if she owes him something. The scene at Millie’s place where Millie tells Keys he looks cute when he brags, and Mouser encourages him to tell Millie how he feels is super frustrating to watch but it’s so important to Keys’ character. He asks Millie out for coffee and when she turns him down to jump back into the game, he doesn’t make a big deal about it even though Mouser wants him to. Instead he gets up and goes and gets her a coffee anyway. She goes to tell him her order, oblivious to the fact that he’s memorized it, he tells her he remembers, and goes to get the coffee anyway much to Mouser’s and the audience’s dismay. This is big because Keys clearly doesn’t want to be walking down the street by himself to get coffee. He wants to be getting coffee with Millie so that he can tell her how he feels to see if she might feel the same way, but when she turns him down he goes and gets the coffee anyway because he truly loves and cares about her and he values their friendship enough to put his own feelings aside and suffer in silence rather than lose her and what they’ve built. So, he takes the opportunity to get some air rather than continue to sit there in disappointment. Which is why he’s so confused when Millie runs after him and calls out to him from across the street. He doesn’t understand what she’s doing there. She turned down his offer to get a coffee and he already knows her order so why is she there? I love that they chose to make that scene non-verbal. I think if Millie had come out and made some big declaration of love it would have felt cheesy and overdone. But her running after him and silently communicating through her smile and body language that she understood and that she felt the same way was perfect. It was subtle and beautiful and perfectly acted. It also felt realistic to the characters because in real life when you’ve known someone a really long time and you’ve spent a lot of time with them you don’t always need words to convey what you mean. What Millie wanted to express in that scene was so big and so all-encompassing she couldn’t find the words to say everything that she wanted to say so she didn’t. She just stood there and smiled knowing that being the genius that he is he would understand. It’s like Keys says in their interview, words will fail you, but code never does. His coding worked and now she understands so rather than try and say it all and fail she just looks at him and smiles to show him that she finally gets it. She finally understands what he’s been trying to say to her all this time. And you can see the exact moment Keys realizes why she’s there. The moment where he goes from being confused as to what she wants to realizing that she saw the video and she knows how he feels and that she wouldn’t be standing there smiling at him like that if she didn’t feel the same way. When I watched the scene the first time around, I was anxiously clutching my nachos the entire time because when Keys ran towards her my immediate thought was, “Oh my god he’s gonna get hit by a car and they’re never gonna get to be together! Oh my god!” But then he didn’t get hit by a car and Millie ran out to meet him and for the first time in their relationship she met him halfway and they kissed and it was beautiful! I think because Free City had so much violence in it that’s where my mind went and I’m very glad they didn’t go that route. One of my only criticisms about the movie is that I wish they had stayed on Millie and Keys just a little bit longer. They kiss and embrace and then very quickly they cut to black. I wish they’d linger on that moment just a little bit longer because I love those characters so much and in the scene that follows where Guy and Buddy are reunited we see them hug and then walk away together to start their new lives and I wish we’d gotten just a bit more time with Millie and Keys. I also really loved the parallel between the different kinds of relationships within the movie and how platonic relationships are just as important as romantic ones. The reveal at the end about Guy being Keys’ creation and a love letter to Millie and her realizing she’s been loving Keys vicariously through Guy and them finally coming together and being on the same page is beautiful because from the very beginning the movie is full of clues, hints, and foreshadowing that all comes together at the end. Meanwhile, we see the friendship between Guy and Buddy and how important that friendship is to him because it’s something that he created on his own. His love for Millie is born out of the programming that Keys gave him, but his friendship with Buddy is something that Guy created all on his own of his own volition. Which is part of what makes Buddy’s death on the bridge so tragic. I cried when Buddy disappeared. Reynolds and Howery play their characters with such sincerity that his death pacts an emotional punch you don’t expect. I love that the security guards at Soonami are so moved by Buddy’s heroism and are so captivated by what’s happening with the live stream that Millie is able to sneak past them into the server room and stop Antwan from destroying what’s left of the game. Something else I noticed on rewatch is that during the final battle after Millie gets booted from the game and Guy has to fight Dude on his own the glasses he’s wearing are very similar to the ones Keys wears in the movie which I thought was a cool nod to Guy being Keys’ creation. This really is a movie in which you find something new every time you watch it. For instance, the second time around I noticed that the foreshadowing that Keys is in love with Millie, but she’s oblivious to it because she’s so focused on the game was really well done. In the video from the indie game conference that Millie plays for Keys at his apartment when asked by the interviewer about their chemistry Millie responds first and says that their friends, their relationship is completely platonic, and laughs off the idea that they have chemistry. In contrast Keys falters and is silent and then eventually says meekly that they’re just friends. Millie is looking ahead at the interviewer and to the side away from Keys as she’s laughing and so she doesn’t see Keys’ reaction. At the end of the apartment scene after Millie breaks in to ask Keys for his help, he tells Millie he cares about her and he almost says something else. It feels like he’s about to say, ‘I love you’ but then he catches himself and instead tells her that she needs to leave. When Keys visits Millie’s apartment to tell her that she was right and they’re sitting on the couch he reaches out and puts his hand on her knee and then snatches it back when he realizes he’s gotten too close. He wants so desperately to be closer to her and in his excitement, he gets closer than he normally would before realizing that putting his hand on her knee in that close proximity is not a platonic gesture. Millie is so caught up in the realization that Guy, the person she’s fallen in love with, is an AI and not a real person that she doesn’t notice. My heart broke for Keys in that scene as he realized that Millie had fallen for Guy and kissed him and was so upset about it and meanwhile, he was right in front of her desperate for her to see how much he cares. It must have just wrecked him to go home that night and realize that Guy was based on the lovelorn character he created and that Millie had fallen in love with his creation while at the same time being so oblivious to his real world affection for her. In the scene at Millie’s apartment after they’ve gotten the server from Antwan and Mouser encourages Keys to say something, I noticed on rewatch just how weak and meager Keys’ attempt to ask Millie out is. He stumbles his way through asking her to get a coffee and trails off at the end so it’s no wonder Millie doesn’t clue in that he’s trying to ask her out. And in Keys’ defence he sent her a whole video confessing his feelings for her and all of the little things he loves about her and then told her to watch it and he has no idea if she did or not. We the audience know that Millie only saw half of it, but Keys has no idea if she saw none of it, part of it, or all of it. He knows she got Guy to remember, but she’s also sending him mixed messages. One minute she’s saying he’s cute when he brags and the next, she’s turning him down for coffee to talk to Guy. From the outside it’s so obvious that Keys is in love with Millie, but she doesn’t see it because she’s always looking the other way, not paying attention, so caught up in the game, and too focused on their work to see what’s right in front of her. On rewatch one of the big things I noticed is that Keys is always on the edge of telling Millie how he really feels but he always stops himself because she brushes him or the idea off and because he’s scared of what will become of their work and their friendship if she doesn’t feel the same way. It’s a huge leap. If Millie doesn’t feel the same way it’s going to make their relationship incredibly awkward and could potentially destroy their partnership so Keys decides it’s better not to say anything or only hint at how he feels rather than run the risk of ruining everything. Something else I noticed on rewatch is that in the interview they give Keys says he thinks of himself as an author and that code is what gets him up in the morning and that he loves the ones and zeros of binary because words can fail you and let you down but code never does. At the end of the movie when Millie goes to talk to Guy in Free Life he tells her that he loves her and while he knows that’s his programming he’s realized that he’s a love letter to her and that somewhere out there in the real world is the author. Such a great callback. All in all, I can definitely say that Free Guy has been my favourite movie so far this year! Definitely my favourite movie of the summer. I went to see it twice in theatres and I’ve never done that for any other movie before. I’ll rewatch them at home sure, but I’ve never actually paid money to see something twice on my own. I’m very excited to see the sequel and my hope is that it will be just as good as the first.  Until next time.

[sunjaesol]

For the prompts : Juke 4 & 17 💜🌟

KISS PROMPTS (closed) 4 + 17. An accidental brush of lips followed by a pause and going back for another, on purpose + Tucking their hands beneath the other person’s shirt, just to watch them break the kiss and gasp in surprise at the sensation of cold/warm hands on their skin

(college au... this was such a treat to write oh my god)

Watching Julie Molina battle the New York wintertime was absolutely hilarious. 

When Luke met the girl at the start of freshman year at NYU, he instantly knew she wasn’t from the east coast. The accent, the attitude, the lack of gloves on her hands by November. She was stubborn about it too, claiming that the weather should bend to her, not the other way. 

It was a joke, obviously, but it didn’t make it less funny. 

She’d be pouting and huffing and wearing a comical amount of sweaters on top and no puffer jacket was big enough to ward off the cold. Not even those curls of her were an insulator. 

(And he knew her hair was thick and warm, because he once held it back at a frat party when she was puking her guts out after one too many tequila shots.) 

They were walking through Washington Square Park, Luke contently sipping on his coffee as Julie was shivering beside him. They had a small break in between classes and he had convinced her to spend that time outside. 

One, cause Luke liked the cold. 

Two, cause… yeah, he’s had a big, fat crush on her ever since they properly met.

They both resided in Goddard Hall back then. Luke had been bored to death, aimlessly wandering the halls, when he followed the sound of a keyboard. That was how he found her. With her back towards him, she hummed along to her expert piano playing as she stared out the window with that gentle smile of hers.

Sure, he’d seen her at lectures, thinking she was cute, but he hadn’t spoken to her. Standing in the threshold and witnessing the way she embodied music felt like the world suddenly tilted off its axis. It hadn’t felt normal ever since, if he was being honest. Julie kind of took him aback without even trying. 

She quickly got over the fact he essentially scared her to death by flying into an impromptu flurry of compliments, and easily befriended him. Maybe because they were both freshmen and needed someone, maybe because it was fucking fate. Whatever. 

That accelerated thud of his heart burst into flames the second they sang together two weeks later for a class. Luke had a very simple outlook on life. If someone tapped into that innate passion for music in ways he hadn’t considered before, he was a goner. Julie did. And it hadn’t tempered in the slightest. 

Being best friends with her was great, but he’d lie if he said he hadn’t been in his feelings when she got with Nick for a couple of months, or when she flirted with guys at parties. 

Alex told him to just rip the band-aid off and tell her, but he’d rather stay friends forever - stand in her sunlight a little longer - than lose her over something as stupid as feelings. 

Julie groaned. “It’s so cold!”

“You don’t get tired of saying that?” he teased, bumping their shoulders. 

“No.” A smile pulled on her lips. “You keep reacting to it, so…”

“I asked if you also wanted a coffee and you said no.”

Her pout intensified as she rubbed her gloveless hands together. January in NYC was brutal, yet she refused to commit to the lifestyle. He bought her gloves last Christmas and she wore them once to appease him; they were probably stuffed in the back of her closet now. 

“Because campus coffee sucks,” she argued. 

Humming, he shrugged and took another sip. “Fair.” And then- “You could’ve stayed inside.”

It was the wrong thing to say, as her confused reply got his heart skipping a beat. “But you were going outside.”

He felt it again. That energy crackling between them whenever they said something a little too intimate - a little too real - and he couldn’t do anything about it without making it weird. There was this whole thing about not wanting to appear as some pathetic dude who was ‘waiting’ on her (even though he kind of was… yikes) or making a move cause he could. ‘Cause she was there.’ 

If he were to ever act on his feelings, he’d want her to know they were coming from a genuine place, not because he was a desperate asshole. 

His arm twitched to curl around her shoulders. To tuck her in his side, warm her up, let his hot breath ghost the exposed skin. Maybe pulling her in his lap on the bench, allowing his gloved hands to rub life back in her legs. Maybe-

Argh. Luke was driving himself insane. Not overthinking it any longer, he threw the arm that brushed hers around her and squeezed her shoulder. Boom. There. Fucking easy and normal. 

Her smile widened, his frustration instantly melting away at the sight and smiling back. 

“Thanks,” she uttered. “You’re like an oven.”

He smirked. “Cause I’m smoking hot.”

She rolled her eyes, though her expression stayed put. “Sure.”

“That smile ain’t changing, Jules,” he drawled, playful. “You know it’s true.”

Her hand clutched onto the back of his jacket, the action almost making him fumble over his words. He knew how they’d look to outsiders now and hoped she wouldn’t catch onto that. The way she was looking up, the way he was gazing down with stupidly tender eyes, the coffee dangling precariously in his hand as if he’d drop it in a snap to cup her cheek instead.      

(He probably would. Fuck campus coffee.) 

Her other hand looped across his stomach tucked herself closer, their strut slowing down. Giggling at their odd position, Luke knew his resolve would be gone if she didn’t pull away soon. That burning tug in his chest urging him to the edge of the cliff. 

“I feel used,” he joked.  

“By me,” she pointed out. “There’s a difference.”

This made him stop entirely. “There is?”

“Yeah, it’s because…” she trailed off, suddenly shy. 

His head ducked to meet her eyes with mischief in his tone. “Because?”

He didn’t know what he was trying to achieve here. What the fuck was he doing? The difference was that they were best fucking friends and she knew he didn’t mind close contact. Using humour to veil his flirtatious intent wasn’t going to change that.   

She sighed and abruptly moved her face. “Because-”

And then her lips touched his. 

They gasped, instantly pulling back to gawk at each other in surprise. Holy shit. Holy shit. It was just a mishap, it was just a mistake, he couldn’t think-

“-that,” she finished lamely, words barely coming out. Her eyes were wide and earnest. “Because of that.”

It was enough for him. 

Luke dropped his coffee, slid his warm hand on her jaw and coaxed her back. A shot of adrenaline shot through him as her lips slanted across his, hungry and eager. They were only one second in and it was already so fucking intoxicating. His eyes were screwed shut, overwhelmed from bliss rippling his skin and the way she sighed and deepened each new touch. 

He wouldn’t need coffee anymore if he got to kiss her like that every day. 

Sinking in his knees to be closer, his lips puckered into a dopey grin. In an hour or two, he’d go insane over how soft her lips were, how amazing of a kisser she was, how it trumped any of his fantasies - now, all he could think of was how fucking lucky he was. 

A shock of cold hit him, her hands sneakily having found their way under his jacket and sweater and now pressing against his sides. 

He groaned against her mouth. “Jules, your hands.”

She giggled, so dazed it could kill him on the spot. “I know. We now share my pain.”

“Sounds good to me,” he mumbled, going back for more. 

“Yeah?” Her hopeful tone got him looking at her, her shiny brown eyes and fond smile a one way ticket to falling in love with her in seconds. Maybe he’d been for a while. It didn’t matter.

They were here now. 

Gently plucking one of her hands and kissing the knuckles, he shot her a dazzling smile. “Yeah… but I’m gonna find those gloves I bought for you though. You will get hypothermia otherwise.”  

[classic80sand90smovieloves2]

Meeting and Dating Severen

(Not my gif)(Requested by anonymous)

- You first met Severen at the sleazy bar you called your place of employment. You were serving a booth their drinks when he and the others made their entrance. And oh what an entrance it was.

- As per usual, Severen started to make chaos the moment he walked in, talking/laughing loudly and nearly getting himself into a fight. You really didn’t want to go over and serve him but you were the only there besides one other bartender and the man was conveniently MIA.

- So you swallowed down your feelings of dread and maneuvered yourself behind the bar.

- The rowdy man straightened himself out upon your arrival, a Cheshire grin spreading across his face as he focused his sights on you.

“Well ain’t you a pretty little thing.”

- Against your better judgement, a small smile spread across your face. He was much more handsome up close, and when he was behaving himself properly.

- There was an undeniable attraction growing between the two of you, especially on his part. He acted the same as he always did with women but there was something different about you, something special.

- Lets make things clear, none of these vamps know how to do things conventionally, especially not Severen. You don’t have a romantic start to your relationship, you have a frightening one.

- Shit hit the fan not long after you poured the unusual patron a drink. Like a rational person, you plastered yourself against the wall and watched with wide eyes as him and the others dealt with the other occupants of the bar.

- Once they were finished, Severen hopped down on your side of the bar, throwing his arm around your shoulders and calling you cute.

“I think we should keep her.” He grinned, twirling a piece of your hair between his bloodied fingers.

- You were obviously afraid; as one should be, but a part of you was weirdly accepting of the situation. It was as though what you’d experienced was so unreal that your mind decided to rationalize it as though it were normal.

- So when Severen began to lead you out of the bar with them, throwing a pointed look at his companions as they opened their mouths to argue, you just let him. And when he pulled you into the rv with them, talking your ear off and blatantly flirting; you let him do that too.

- Don’t blame yourself too much for your questionable decisions, you’ll find out soon enough that the two of you are mates.

- Since your new friends burnt down the bar, anyone who was aware of your existence thought you were dead which made things particularly easy for Severen.

- For better or for worse, the two of you grew close very quickly and soon enough he decided to shoot his shot. He announced that he would “watch you” as everyone went out in search of a meal.

- While the two of you were walking, he began to ramble on about how you made a good team and how it “only made sense” for the two of you to get together.

“So what do you say?” He grinned at you cockily.

- He kisses you for the first time once you agree, letting out a “well come here then” before he swiftly pulls you in and lays one on you.

- And thus, the chaotic vampire found his one true love.

- Pda? I mean you aren’t in public all that much but he’s constantly hanging all over you so I suppose that’s pretty much the same thing.

- Whenever you are in public, he’s making sure everyone knows that you’re together by keeping his hands on you at all times. He’s very proud of his girl.

- Bear hugs. He’s constantly pulling you in and wrapping his arms tightly around you. He’s going to squeeze the life out of you one day; you’re sure of it.

- Hugs from behind. They’re mainly an excuse for him to grind against your backside.

- Dancing together.

- Holding hands.

- Sooo many pet names; sometimes you’re sure that he’s forgotten your real name. You aren’t complaining though, it makes everytime he calls you your real name even more special/ powerful.

- Affectionate name calling. He can’t explain why he enjoys having you call him an asshole but you should know that he does.

- He likes picking you up, typically by your clothing before he decides that he wants to hold you close.

- Bloody kisses. You better get used to the taste.

- Be wary when he tries to flatter you, especially in excess. He typically has an ulterior motive when he starts to bombard you with compliments.

- He’s constantly teasing you. There is never a time when he isn’t poking fun and trying to get a reaction out of you.

- He’s an annoying ass yet sweet at the same time. He gives off crackhead older brother vibes most of the time. He can mess with you but is ready to tear someone a new one if they try doing the same.

- Witnessing him kick a door down then slide out of the way and hold it open for you with this innocent little doting boyfriend smile. It’s kind of amusing to see how quickly his attitude shifts when you’re involved.

- He’s constantly stealing things for you. You learn not to ask where he gets them from since it’s either a store or someone who’s no longer breathing.

- Causing chaos together. Want to steal a car? Want to start a fire? Want to go completely ape shit? He’s got an anarchist mind and he’s ready for a partner in crime; literally.

- He’s always trying to make you laugh. It isn’t hard for him which never fails to give him an ego boost. He boasts about how you find him hilarious to the others both when you and when you aren’t around.

- Getting to see all his neat little gun tricks. He likes being able to impress you.

- He may or may not get turned on when you handle his guns. Be prepared for more than a few innuendos and instances of him tearing off your clothes.

- He would absolutely feed on you if given the chance. He’d call you delicious before pressing his bloodied lips to your cheek and calling you “a doll”.

- He can clean up surprisingly well. You were genuinely shocked when you saw him all dressed up for the first time.

- Falling asleep on him in the rv.

- The two of you don’t exactly have a bed 90% of the time so you just have to try and cuddle however you can. A lot of the time, you’ll be sitting on his lap with him pressed against your back.

- You’ll have to change your sleep schedule if you want to spend any length of time with him. You being tired sort of kills the mood, even if he finds sleepy you adorable.

- You’re sort of used as a clothing rack. His sunglasses? On you. His jacket? On you. His rings? On you. Its both for “safe keeping” and because you look cute in them.

- Occasionally helping him lure in his victims, or being called a sweetheart when you refuse to.

- He’d find your morals both sweet and exasperating. He enjoys how innocent and kind you are but also yearns for you to be a little evil once in a while.

- Whenever you’re out on the town, he’ll either drag you to the bar with him or you’ll sit with the others in a booth while he does his thing. You‘ll most likely prefer the latter, you might not want to be in the line of fire when he starts causing trouble.

- Playing with or watching him play pool. He likes to wink at you whenever he catches you watching him closely, usually before he makes a perfect shot.

- He curses like a sailor. You can’t remember how many times you’ve had to scold him or slap his arm because he was being completely inappropriate in the worst way possible.

- He also uses insults like they mean nothing. He’ll either call you something or call someone else something which usually tends to start some trouble.

- You pretty much have to keep an eye on him at all times since you know it only takes him a few seconds to completely destroy the peace in the room or wherever else he is. As fun as it is to see him go crazy, sometimes it’s best to not let him get to that point.

- Joking threats. He likes playing up his vampirism, trying to make you a little nervous and enjoying the subtle acceleration of your heart. Even so, he’s the only one that’s allowed to scare you.

- He’s very protective of you even though he; oftentimes, tries to hide it with humor. He tries not to make a big deal out of things until he really has to though occasionally something will really set him off. You’ll be able to see the mirderous intent in his eyes, the twinkles leaves them and they just go cold as his smile drops.

- Anyone that tries to flirt with you is immediately plotted against. It isn’t uncommon for him to kill people that he thinks are trying to get with you. Jesse’s had to hold him back a few times when the group can’t afford a body on their hands. So yes, he’s extremely jealous.

- He claims you with one of his rings, making sure you know exactly what you wearing it means.

“This here,” he takes your hand roughly. “This here means that you’re mine, darlin. Dont you forget it.”

- A sick part of him likes when you get mad or jealous at/over him. Seeing you get all vicious and vindictive makes his day.

- You don’t expect it but he’s fairly good at easing tension. The only problem is that he rarely wants to ease tension. It really just depends on what’s going on, sometimes he’ll want to fight and sometimes he won’t; particularly when it comes to you.

- He’s got a wicked temper and no patience for complaining or anything of the sort. You’ll certainly have your fair share of fights, especially if you plan on staying together for a “long time”.

- He tries to make you smile when “pleading” for your forgiveness. He tries to “cute” or bother his way out of trouble when he manages to really piss you off. You can never really stay mad at him for that exact reason.

- You get a lot of teasing/joking ‘I love you’s’ but you get a few more earnest ones as well. You cherish them since they’re few and far between.

- There’s a part of him which doesn’t want to turn you, keeping you soft and warm, but another part of him couldn’t bear to see you get hurt or imagine a world where you’re not by his side. So he’ll most likely put off biting you for a while before he finally bucks up and does it.

- He’s ready to spend the rest of eternity with you so believe me; he isn’t letting you go anytime soon.

[ak8shi]

Sugawara + Bokuto: HQ boys as workout instructors series

Kuroo + Iwaizumi ver.

warnings: light swearing!!

Sugawara Koushi

After coming back from school for summer break, you decide to renew your gym membership!!

A ton of your friends have recommended taking yoga, so you sign up for a class, just to try it out

The class takes place on Sunday mornings at 10 am, leaving enough time for you to grab a light breakfast before class

You decide to pick up an acai bowl from your local smoothie/nutrition shoppe you stop in so often that the workers know your order LMAO

You decide to sit down and scroll through your phone while you wait for your order,,, but then the door chime rings alerting you that someone else has entered the small shop

You look up, making eye contact with the most beautiful man,,, that you’ve probably ever seen

He looks at you for a second with his light eyes, giving you a polite smile, then goes up to the counter to order a smoothie

Sis,, why are you in love already hahaha

You, wearing old yoga pants and an old raggedy T-shirt, no makeup on, hair messy: why is this my life 😔

One of the workers finally calls your order number, and you go to grab it from the counter before you make a fool out of yourself in front of this angelic man

You scarf down your breakfast in your car, making it to the gym twenty minutes before your class begins

Tidying your appearance a bit, you pull your hair up and tie your large shirt before walking into the yoga studio

You, seeing the beautiful man from the smoothie shop at the front of the class: ☺️wow☺️my luck☺️

He hasn’t seen you yet since you decided to set up at a mat in the back, but the man addresses the class,

“Good morning everyone, my name is Suga and I’m going to be your instructor today! Please make sure you are stretching in the meantime before we officially begin!”

He gives everyone the biggest, most glowing smile UGH

Oh so he’s ANGELIC angelic,,,,, yet sexy somehow

As you begin stretching, he starts walking around to see if anyone needs help and he’s coming towards you dear god

Suga’s face lights up, obviously recognizing you from the smoothie shop

Him, the best boy, smiling down at you: hey! Do you need any help stretching? Also, I didn’t catch your name this morning at the smoothie place :))

You: It’s y/n, & you can do more than help me stretch <3

Asaksjajaksjk anyways,, he gently guides you through some simple stretches, pushing on your back lightly and guiding you (with your permission ofc)

You don’t notice, but from an outside pov he’s kind of a blushing mess

Finally, he goes back up to the front he suddenly remembers he has a class to teach

Suga’s class consists of extremely calming music, Jack Johnson, and nature noises !! relaxing king

The class is so refreshing and not what you expected at all, also Suga’s AMAZING?? And so flexible

It’s super enjoyable because he has all these little tricks to do difficult movements and poses, and he adds in little comments about things dadknsdf

Suga: move your arms as low as possible, even lower than your standards for men ladies

After the class finishes, you feel amazing and energized, dare I say life changing ,

A few weeks pass, and you’ve gone to every yoga class that he’s put on; he’s just that good

He comes over to talk to you at your mat before every class, making casual conversation

Him: hey, are you coming to my class next week? If you don’t I have an event planned 🤬

You: Is that a threat

Him: ..

He’s TEW MUCH LMAO very witty but so loveable :(( honestly how could you not have a crush on this pretty boy

You literally have no idea that he looks forward to teaching the class now, just because he’s able to see you

Oblivious, you kind of accept the fact that you really like him, but almost every woman in the studio OGLES over him so you try not to get your hopes up

One day before class, you stop into the smoothie shop, and he’s already standing there in the shop, hands shoved into his Lulu Lemon shorts,,,, looking so unbelievably handsome

Him: finally, I can buy you a drink

You: over my dead body sweetie ☺️

After fighting in the shop like the idiots you are,, you give in and allow him to pay for your smoothie

Suga: Look, I already know what to order for you, that’s how well I know my favorite yoga student ;)

You: …I’m allergic to peanut butter

Him: Heart’s 💔 been broke so many times-

LMAO anyways, he let’s you order and before you can get into your car to head over to the gym, he gently grabs your arm to stop you

“I know we don’t know each other super well… but I really like you and think you’re beautiful. Would you want to go out with me sometime, like not at the gym?”

DJDJDOID HE LOOKS SO NERVOUS PLEASE !!!

Ugh his genuineness is so attractive to you, of course you say yes, causing a huge smile to cover his face

You: I’ll race you to the gym, if I win you buy my smoothie again next week

Suga: deal

Suga also that day: gets a speeding ticket and is late to class

Bokuto Koutarou

So your university gym offers a large variety of classes, including an extremely popular class called Hip Hop Fitness,,, you see where I’m going with this

You sign up with your friends for a Wednesday night class, thinking it would just be nice to destress since midterms are over

You and your gals carpool to the gym together, and you walk into the dance studio,, there’s already music playing super loudly,

Immediately your eyes as well as everyone else’s are drawn to the man standing in front of the studio mirror, adorned in sweatpants and a black tee-shirt

“hEy welcome to Hip-Hop!! I’m Bokuto, thank you for showing up tonight!”

He is so damn loud I’m howling

It’s hilarious because he literally looks like a frat dude, like super buff and intimidating, but his personality and teaching position says otherwise

He stops the other music from playing and puts on his playlist, asking everyone to stand up from the wooden floors

“Okay everyone, I have a few rules; number one, follow me. Number two, give it your all, and number three, you better be throwing it back with me. Let’s get it.”

He turns on his playlist and its Nicki LMAOO you are on the ground

The playlist consists of a lot of female rappers and singers, also remixes of pop songs, in other words it’s IMMACULATE for dancing

He is SO charismatic and HOT, you can’t take your eyes off him; He’s amazing at dancing ok but you’re sweating by the time the second song comes on

He’s the type of instructor that yells things out, “OKAY I see YOU,” “AYYEE” LMAOSJDMS ,,, he literally gets himself and others so hyped up

However,,,  it seems like he hovers around you a lot throughout the class, trying to dance with you

Your friends: sis…

You, oblivious: ???

Bokuto: 🔍👀 a crumb,,, ma’am ?

Him, yelling over the music: what’s your name????

You tell him, not thinking anything of it, but then he drags you up to the front and starts throwing it back thick king

You try to keep up with him,,, but we all know he’s untouchable when it comes to cake, LMAO

By the end of the class, you are EXHAUSTED, it truly was a workout

Bokuto is still energized and looks like he could do another class though

He says bye to everyone, and you leave the class not really expecting to see your little crush again

BUT

..

Around a week later you’re walking to the library on campus, and you’re scrolling through your music library to find the perfect song to listen to on your walk

You literally still can not stop thinking about Bokuto, he’s just an unforgettable person truthfully

Someone kind of bumps into you, and you look up ready to apologize, but when you look up you are met with Bokuto’s amber eyes

He’s with another super tall, black haired dude with piercing blue eyes, who he doesn’t even introduce lmao poor akaashi

He’s so happy to see you again I would die for him

Him: I wanted to talk to you after the class but I couldn’t find you ! I guess its kind of like fate bringing us together again, AKAASHI,,, this is the girl I was telling you about

You, a mess: sir you own my entire heart already

Him:

Him: I need to take you out IMMEDIATELY rip your study plans and Keiji getting ditched

He grabs your hand, dragging you to the coffee shop located just off campus

He is so eccentric and fun-loving, his personality is everything you thought it would be ++more !!

He definitely guilts you into going to his classes ,, but I mean are you really losing here

You get to see a sweaty Bokuto, dance with your crush, and then he usually takes you out to get ice cream after because fuck a diet ! He doesn’t believe in that bullshit

He’s so proud of meeting you through his class, he brags about it to everyone,,

Bokuto: yeah😌 she fell for how much ass I have

Kuroo: k... literally I didn’t ask

[enchantedchocolatebars]

I Found Love On Christmas Eve❤️🎄❄️💋🦇🕷️🕸️💕: A cute, fluffy Stangel holiday fic for @princessrainbowpastel / @stelladelano!

I honestly should have posted this in December, but I got hella distracted by stuff, mainly Tumblr, school, roleplay, and "other things" lol. But here ya go bestie! Enjoy!💋

I had so much fun writing this (I wrote it awhile ago and saved it in the my notepad app), and I would love to thank @ren-c-leyn for double checking and enjoying reading this!🙂 I'm proud of how self-indulegent this is lol!💕 Warning: this is VERY long lol!😁😁😁)

Stella was in her dressing room getting herself ready for her next strip show! Being that it was December, the club she worked at made its female workers all wear sexy santa girl costumes.

As she got ready, the bat couldn't help but think of Mystery Fan (as she liked to call them) and all the wonderful gifts they have been sending her for months. She let out a happy sigh as the thought of them always made her day. Whoever this mysterious admirer was, they had to be the sweetest, kindest, most heartfelt demon in all of Hell. She had to admit - with every gift and letter they had sent, she was falling for them more and more. Stella felt like a school girl finding and receiving gifts and love letters from a shy, secret admirer in her locker.

'The day I meet this person,' Stella thought, putting the finishing touches to her Christmas themed makeup, 'Will be the happiest day of my life!' Little did the scarlet haired cutie know that that day was today.

When the show came to an end, Stella heads back to her dressing room, changes into her regular attire, and begins to pack up. A Christmas party was being thrown at the hotel today and she didn't want to miss it or be late. Once she was packed and ready, Stella heads to her car and starts to drive back to the hotel.

As she drives, she spots happy demon couples on the sidewalk, handing and receiving gifts and letters to and from one another. Their reactions to the items were all the same - cheery and content. Seeing such a sight makes Stella frown slightly as she let out a soft sigh. She really wishes she could receive something from the passionate person who's been on her mind for months now: Mystery Fan. Just the thought of hearing their romantic words being said to her up close and in person made the redhead's heart race.

When Stella arrives at the Hazbin Hotel, she parks her car and steps out of it. The bat saw the exterior of the place and was astound by how it looked. The building was covered head to toe with Christmas decorations and lights!

"Wow, Charlie really went all out this year..." said Stella, amazed and impressed by her friend's work. The bubbly blonde really gave the place the right design for the holidays.

As she enters the hotel, Stella let's out a surprised gasp. The inside looked absolutely gorgeous! Like the exterior, the interior of the place was also nicely covered in Christmas decorations. It was like walking into a Christmas wonderland! In the background, holiday music could be heard playing from the intercom.

At the party, all of Stella's friends were there, having fun and celebrating while wearing ugly Christmas sweaters. Well, almost all her friends. The only person who seemed to be missing was Angel Dust.

Niffty was happily collecting candy canes from the Christmas tree and placing them inside her stocking, Charlie and Vaggie were having a lively conversation together on the lobby sofa as they held cups of hot cocoa in their hands, and at the hotel mini bar, Alastor was seen hanging out at the counter speaking to Husk as he cleaned shot glasses. The grouchy bartender couldn't help but groan and roll his eyes each time the radio demon spoke to him.

While talking to Vaggie, Charlie spots Stella from the corner of her eye. "Stella! You're here!" the Hell-born princess gasped, thrilled to see the other female as she gestures for her to come over.

When she does so, Charlie gives Stella a pure, genuine grin. Now the party could really get started!

A montage of cute Christmas photos begins as "My Secret Santa" plays. The first photo is of Charlie, Vaggie, and Stella with mics in their hands, singing Christmas karaoke songs together. Alastor, Husk, and Niffty are there as well, watching the three girls. Niffty cheers for them, Alastor looks amused by the whole thing, and Husk doesn't seem to care.

The second one is of Charlie and Stella smiling and hugging each other while wearing reindeer antler headbands and light up Rudolph noses.

The third photo is of Stella and Vaggie wearing Christmas tree glasses. In the photo, Stella is grinning while holding up bunny ears with her hand above Vaggie's head, and Vaggie has a cute, calm smile on her face while holding up a peace sign with her hand.

The fourth photo is of Stella and Niffty enjoying candy canes together.

The fifth one is of Stella, Husk, and Alastor. In the photo, Stella has a mischievous and flirty look on her face as she holds up a mistletoe plant for the two males to see. Husk, of course, wants nothing to do with kissing of any kind with her as he has an irritated expression on his face, while Alastor, with a large grin of his face, slightly pushes Husk towards her as if saying "Please, take him, not me." And the sixth and last photo is of Stella and the others taking a group Christmas photo together.

After the montage comes to an end, the gang all decide to play a fun little game of pin the tail on the reindeer! Vaggie was the blindfolded pinner and Alastor, being a deer demon, was decided by everyone to be the reindeer. The moth had a devilish grin on her face, her hair bow reacting the same as it formed onto itself a wicked grin with razor, sharp triangular teeth. She saw this as the perfect opportunity to get back at Alastor for constantly pestering her and getting under her skin. The radio demon saw the look on the hotel manager's face and didn't like where this was going as a nervous sweat droplet appeared on his forehead. Before Stella could record this amazing, hilarious moment on her phone, her stomach slightly growled. She decided that the best thing to do now is to take a quick cake break and come back to the action later. Hopefully, she'd be able to capture at least some of it on her device.

Once she steps inside the kitchen, she sees the delicious looking Gingerbread Cheesecake sitting on the countertop, making her mouth water. She happily cuts herself a piece, sits down at the table, and partakes in the rich, sweet dessert. As she was eating, she began to think about Angel Dust. She hoped that the spider was doing okay (especially around this time of year).

In her mind, she wondered why he didn't show up at the party yet. Was he just really busy at the studio and couldn't arrive, or was the arachnid secretly upset with her about something and was trying to avoid her to the best of his abilities? As all these thoughts about where her best friend could be and why he wasn't at the party yet clouded her mind, Stella's stomach began to feel weird and somehow, to her, the cake that she was eating began to taste less and less sweet. She slowly stopped eating, puts her fork down, and utters out a small, tired sigh as she sadly rests her head on the table.

Charlie, entering the kitchen, sees a glum Stella at the table with her head down. Being the kind friend she is, the princess instantly becomes concerned over the bat's well being as she quickly heads over to take a seat next to her.

"What's wrong, Stel? Is everything alright?" Charlie asked, putting a comforting hand on Stella's shoulder. Stella slightly lifts her head up to look at Charlie before sighing. "Oh, it's nothing." she replied before putting her head back down. Now, Charlie obviously knew that that wasn't the case, but, before she could say anything, she suddenly remembered why she came into the kitchen in the first place.

"Oh yeah, I almost forgot!" She pulls out a small present and shows it off to Stella. "Someone wanted me to give this to you." she smiled. "Huh?" This got Stella's attention as she raises her head up to look at Charlie and the gift.

"The person decided that it would be best to stay anonymous...for now..." Charlie continued, handing the unknown gift to Stella as she gave her a small wink. What did Charlie mean by that? Stella's scarlet colored eyes slowly examined the present box that was in her hands. She saw that it was beautifully wrapped and had a cute bow on top that was tied perfectly. The bat brought the box close to her ear and shook it slightly to figure out what was inside. Whatever it was, it didn't weigh much. She takes a look at the tag and reads it. "To Stella from..." Stella lets out a surprised gasp as she got to the last word "#1 fan!" She couldn't believe it! So not only was this mystery demon a common patron at the strip club she worked at, but they also knew where she lived and was in cahoots with Charlie.

"Wait, Charlie, you know about my #1 fan and who they are?!" Stella asked, hoping to get some sort of explanation. Charlie let out a hum. "You could say that..." she giggled, not spilling the beans. "Well, who are they!? They've been sending me stuff for months now, and i've been dying to know who they are!" Stella at this point craved any answer.

The princess, letting out another girlish giggle, replies with, "Well, they didn't want me telling you who they were buuut," She gave Stella a sincere smile. "Let's just say they're someone who cares and...I'm really proud of them for doing this." Charlie gives Stella another wink before leaving. She soon comes to the realization that Mystery Fan is someone in the hotel.

Alone in the kitchen, Stella began to carefully unwrap her present. As she tears off the the last remaining piece of wrapping paper, she sees that the gift inside is a teddy bear, wearing a Santa hat and has an envelope with a heart stamp taped to its right hand. Stella removes the envelope from the stuffed teddy's hand and opens it.

The bat sees a letter inside and starts reading. When she got to the last sentence, the redhead smiled softly as her cheeks change to a light pink color. She felt a warmness like no other in her heart. It was official; Stella Taylor Delano was in love with Mystery Fan.

Out of all the cards and letters they had send her, this one had to be most heartfelt.

The letter read:

“Stella Taylor Delano,

You truly are the only woman who can make me happy. Simply seeing your smile makes me realize that life in this literal Hell hole is worth living. My love grows for you each and everyday. I guess you could say that i'm addicted to you, and you are the only drug that keeps me functioning. When I look into your eyes, I see the real me, a person that lives for a goal and a purpose now...and that's being with you. This will be my last and final letter as I want to come out of my shell and reveal who I am. Meet me on the hotel rooftop at 10. See you soon~

Love, Your #1 Fan xoxo”

Stella was feeling extremely excited, as well as anxious, but still remained touched by the love letter written to her. She was finally going to meet Mystery Fan face to face! But who could they be, she wondered. Looks like she'll find out at 10. The bat makes a mental note to get herself ready at around 9:30 and head up to the roof at 9:55. Once she does, she leaves the kitchen and makes her way back to the others.

Stella hopes that they're still playing pin the tail on the reindeer so that she could record a bit of funny footage on her phone of a terrified Alastor running away from a vengeance seeking Vaggie with a pin.

Once the party came to an end, everyone decided to hit the hay for tonight. Well, almost everyone. Stella had to get ready for her meet up "date" with Mystery Fan.

Being that she was meeting this unknown, romantic stranger for the first time, she wanted to look her absolute best with the right outfit. The only problem is, Stella had so many good outfits in her closet. Which one would be perfect for Mystery Fan? This calls for a fashion montage.

In her room, Stella sets down on her bed a variety of her favorite winter sweaters and skirts to try on. She first tries on a pink sweater that had little, mini red hearts on them that she found to be cute, but the sweater wasn't the right cut unfortunately.

The next thing she puts on is a sweater / skirt combo that she thought made her look smoking hot, but at the same time she felt it wasn't quite right.

The red and white sweater? Too fluffy. The black skirt with stockings? No way. The yellow bikini she wore to the beach last year? Wait, how did THAT even get in her pile?! Doesn't matter, it was too much anyways and wasn't right for the weather, so she tosses the swimwear aside.

The bat was pickier than normal, tossing away beloved outfits in her hunt for perfection. Finally, after casting away so many outfit choices, Stella let's out a small, surprised gasp as the last outfit remaining on her bed was one to her liking.

It was a white sweater; long, dark gray sweatshirt; light plaid scarf; black knit gloves; a whitish, light pink knit beanie; black sheer tights; dark gray, and knee-high, suede boots. She found it to be absolutely adorable as she tried it on and modeled in it in front of her mirror. Yup, this outfit was the one!

After adding a bit of makeup to her features, Stella was set and ready to go! At around 9:55, almost 9:56, Stella double checks herself in the mirror to ensure that she looked good for her little "date".

After doing so, Stella hurries out of her room and heads to the rooftop stairs. When she arrives on the roof, Stella's scarlet eyes widden in shock as the bat was beyond surprised by the demon she's met with. It was Alastor!

The deer demon was at ease as he fed the large, demon birds who were with him bloody chopped up demon parts from a small, brown sack that was dripping in blood. When he notices a figure near of the corner of his eye, he turns to see a perplexed Stella gazing at him.

Alastor is the first to break the silence. "Surprised to see you here, my dear," he said, giving the red head one of his typical dark and brooding grins. "I knew it~" Stella gave the radio host a flirty smirk. "So all that pretending not to be interested was all an act, huh? Heh. It's always the ones you least expect. I had a feeling you couldn't resist all this~" she purred, signaling at her curves.

"I really liked those letters and gifts you've been sending me for the past few months. Who knew a powerful Overlord such as yourself had such a big heart~" She gave him a playful smile and wink. Hearing these words caused Alastor to blink for a bit before tilting his head slightly in confusion. "Pardon me?" he asked, wondering what Stella could be talking about.

Stella was a bit thrown off by Alastor's reaction. "That letter you wrote to me; it said that you wanted the two of us to meet here tonight at 10 because you were my #Fan 1, and...you also told me...that...you loved me..." Just thinking about all the stuff written from that recent letter caused Stella to flush, smiling at herself.

Alastor, now processing Stella's words, merely chuckled. "Me? A fan of yours? Not only that, but ME...love...YOU? Hahaha! My dear, don't be ridiculous. That's absolute nonsense! I'm only here because feeding these filthy, disgusting scavengers just so happens to be a favorite past time of mine." He smiled, being extremely uncompromisingly forthright with his rather rude remark.

"O-Oh..." Stella looked down as her shoulders slumped and her cheeks reddened in embarrassment, trying her best to blink back any tears. Alastor tossed the last remaining body part from the sack to the birds who fought and squawked over it. Devouring it quickly, the birds look to Alastor for more. "Sorry, but it looks like i'm all out," he told them as he threw down the empty sack to prove it.

The birds, seeing that there was nothing left, soon depart to the skies. Alastor waves a small good bye to them as looks to a heartbroken Stella who continued to look down. "Well, it's rather late, so I think i'll be heading inside. I'll be seeing you. Hopefully, whoever you're suppose to meet here shows up. Though, with how behind time they seem to be, I don't think they will." And with that, Alastor was gone. Stella sadly sighed to herself as she took out her phone to look at the time. It was 10:15. Mystery Fan, whoever and wherever they were, was late.

A sad, heavy sigh escaped Angel's lips as he was in is dressing room, sitting in front of his vanity mirror, getting himself ready for his next shoot. He felt absolutely awful about everything. He had wrote to Stella a confessional letter about his true feelings for her and how much the scarlet haired beauty meant to him. He remembered that in said letter he had mentioned that he would meet her at the Happy Hotel rooftop at 10, and right now it was 10:20.

His original plan was to leave work at around 9:45 to get to her, but he knew that Val would practically lose his shit again if he found out his favorite star skipped work.

Angel sighed for a second time. He really hoped that Stella would still be at the roof by the time he got to her. As Angel thought about what to do, the spider soon came to a realization that Stella, the girl who he loved with all his heart, was much more important than the feelings of his abuse boss, no matter how much he feared him. He had to find a way to sneek out without Valentino noticing. But how, he thought.

As the arachnid looked around the room in search of something that could help him in his escape plan, his eyes came to the body pillow of himself dressed in a school girl uniform that was laying up in the corner. This gave him an idea.

An irritated Valentino was seen at the studio's indoor film set, sitting in his director's chair as he waited for Angel to be in the next scene for his latest flick.

As the mothman waits, he taps on the side of his chair repeatedly with his index finger, clearly angry. Eventually, his patients wears thin as the fury that was bottled up inside him explodes as he storms out in search for his favorite money maker.

When he arrives at Angel's dressing room door, he bursts it open with all his might, nearly breaking it. He sees "Angel" sitting there in front of his mirror and marches on over to him.

"Angelcakes, you seem to be taking your sweet time in here. Don't you know I have a business to run and money to make?" he growled, now behind the spider. "Angel" said nothing as he continued to sit still in his chair. Valentino took this as his employee ignoring him, which he found extremely disrespectful and a huge insult to his ego. The pimp pulled out his pistol and pointed it behind "Angel's" head as he formed a wicked smirk.

"The silent treatment, huh? Well, let's see how silent you are when I blow your--" Suddenly, "Angel" fell to the ground. This reveals that "Angel" was really just Angel's body pillow dressed in his clothing and wearing one on his drag wigs.

Val was a bit stunned by this, but once the hamster on a wheel in his brian began to run and he slowly puts the pieces together, he figures out that the actual Angel Dust had skipped work...AGAIN. This caused an already vexed Val to turn red with rage. "ANGEL!!!" he angrily yelled at the top of his lungs, loud enough that his shouting echoed across the large building. As the real Angel Dust was running down a hall with a panic-stricken look on his face, he heard his boss's echo, which made him pick up the pace and run faster.

The speedy spider hightailed it out of the studio door as he made a run for it down the streets. He would have the deal with the consequences of leaving work later, but right now, he had to get to Stella, and fast.

Millie and Moxxie were happily walking home together down the downtown streets on a chilly, Christmas Eve night hand in hand after their little trip from the store, where they bought a Christmas themed cake for tommorrow.

"You excited for tomorrow, Mill?" Moxxie asked his wife sweetly. Millie smiles as she cuddles closer to her husband.

"I sure am, sweetie," she replies. Their peaceful walk is soon interrupted when they hear the sound of running footsteps coming towards them. Moxxie rasies a suspicious eyebrow at this, and Millie, concerned, hugs her hubby's arm tightly. The running demon is revealed to be Angel Dust, who's practically speeding towards them in a hurry.

"Outta the way! I'm late!" he shouts at the couple. When Angel sprints past Moxxie and Millie, his speed causes the two of them to spin around uncontrollably.

The cake flies out of Moxxie's hand and into the air. When the couple stop spinning, they both fall down bottom first to the ground, completely dizzy.

Moxxie, first to regain a bit of his balance, gets up as he shakes his head. He soon helps Millie up.

"Are you okay?" he asks, worried that she might have gotten hurt. "I'm fine, hun, don't worry." Millie gives him a reassuring smile.

The female imp quickly notices that something is missing and looks left and right for it. "Where's the cake?!" The minute Millie asks this, the cake, now out of its plastic container, comes falling to the ground in a splat.

"Oh no!" she gasps, holding a hand over her mouth in shock. Moxxie, angry beyond belief at this, waves a fist at Angel Dust who was long gone.

"Hey buddy, maybe watch where you're going next time!!!" He takes a few deep breaths to calm himself down before turning to Millie and the cake. "Great," he sighed, slightly vexed.

"Look what that guy made us do. Where are we going to get another cake at this time of night, hun? I'm sure the supermarket is closed by now, and tommorrow's Christmas. You know how packed supermarkets can get on that day."

Millie put a reassuring hand on Moxxie's shoulder as she gave the male imp a peck on the cheek "Aw, sweetie, don't worry. I think we have some cake ingredients at home. We'll just have to make our own cake this year. How does that sound?" Moxxie, now at ease thanks to his wife, smiles warmly at her. "Sounds fine to me."

Blitzo was walking down the street with a huge grin of his face. In his arms was a glass jar that was filled to the brim with marbles. "Loonie's gonna love her present this year! A bunch of marbles! I mean, who doesn't love marbles? I know I d--" The jar nearly slips out of his hand, causing the imp boss to stop mid-sentence.

He let's out a relieved sigh when it doesn't. "Ha, you know, more a minute there I thought--"

Just then, Angel runs past Blitzo, bumping into him slighty as he loses hold of the jar and drops it. When it hits the ground, marbles and shattered glass pieces go everywhere. "Oh shit!" he cried out. "I lost my marbles...literally!"

As Millie and Moxxie continue their little stroll home, they hear the sound of someone crying up ahead. The voice sounds quite familiar to them. When they got closer, they see that the weeping belonged to none other than their boss, who was on his knees with dramatic tears in his eyes.

"Oh cry! Oh sob! Oh weep! Oh other noises that show complete and utter sadness!" Blitzo cried, putting a hand over his face and slightly peeking out to see if anyone would feel sympathy for his unfortunate predicament.

"Oh no," Millie quietly gasped, putting both hands over her mouth. Seeing her boss in such a state instantly brought her bubbly mood down.

Meanwhile, Moxxie just rolled his eyes. "Oh please," he huffed, not buying his boss's "sorrowful" behavior at all. "Come on, Moxx. Let's go see what's wrong with Blitzo." she grabbed her husband's hand and dragged him over with her to their boss. Moxxie let out a groan, not wanting to deal with Blitzo on the day before Christmas.

"Blitzo, what's wrong? Is everything alright?" Millie asked as she and Moxxie arrived to him, a mix of concern and worry in her voice.

The red imp brought his hand down from his face when he heard Millie, and looked to see his two workers. The minute he saw them, the waterworks really came on. Blitzo gives to Millie an overdramatic hug, as he cried in her arms.

"NO, MILLS! EVERYTHING IS NOT ALRIGHT! I'VE LOST THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TONIGHT...MY MARBLES!" he then proceeds to cry more as Millie gives him reassuring head rubs.

"Shh! Shh! Shh! It's okay, sir. We all do sometimes." "At least he's finally admitted it," Moxxie whispers in his wife's ear, a slight chuckle in his voice. "Moxx!" Millie whispers back, lightly scolding him. "He's our boss. We've got to help him. Plus, it's near the holidays. No would deserves to feel sad during this time."

She then puts her on focus back on Blitzo. "Sir, I know the perfect activity that'll help regain your marbles! How about we all watch Christmas movies and--" "How the hell is watching Christmas movies going to help me get my marbles back? They're on the ground, Millie."

Blitzo shakes his head and rolls his eyes. He swears, Mills could be such an airhead sometimes. "Huh?" Millie and Moxxie both look on the ground to see that Blitzo was right. A small number marbles were on the ground as well as a few pieces of glass.

"I had them all in a jar, but I dropped the stupid thing and it broke. Hell, some of them even rolled away," Blitzo explains, teary-eyed.

As Millie thinks on what to do to help her boss, she gets an idea, a light bulb quickly appearing above her head. "I know! Me and Moxxie can help you pick the marbles up! Sure, we won't be able to get every one, but it's better than getting nothing!" she said, beaming brightly.

Hearing this somehow made Blitzo feel instantly better, his "sad" demeanor quickly fading away as he stood tall. "You're right, Millie! Wow, what an excellent idea I came up with! You two are the best employees a guy could ask for! I'm definitely giving you both a raise for this!"

Moxxie's jaw nearly dropped hearing this. "A-A-A raise?! Wait, you really mean it sir?!" Blitzo gives Moxxie a hearty smile. "Of course not! Now come on! Let's get to marble pickin'!" This made Millie smile while Moxxie glared at his boss, mumbling something about him under his breath.

Angel, now speeding up the hotel rooftop stairs like a madman, nearly breaks the door down when he bursts it open. "Stella I--!!" the spider stopped mid sentence when he sees that no one, expect for him, was there, causing his heart to sink.

"Oh no..." He takes out his phone from his suit pocket to see what time it was. 11:15. He breaths out a sigh of defeat as he put his device away and goes over to the end of the roof to look at the city.

Feeling beyond disappointed in himself and the situation, Angel uses his hands to cover his face. If only he'd have arrived on time, Stella would still be there. He honestly doesn't blame her for leaving. Suddenly, he hears someone call his name. "Angel?" Surprised by the voice, he turns around and sees Stella at the door.

"What are you doing up here?" she asks, concern laced in her voice due to how late it was. "Heh. I should be askin' you the same thing," Angel chuckles, a soft smile planted on his face at Stella.

God, she was absolutely beautiful to him. Stella bubbles out a giggle at the spider's playful demeanor.

"Well, I came here for my glove. I noticed that it wasn't in my pocket and figured i'd must have dropped it when I left. I was up here before. I was waiting for someone to show but..." Stella stops when she hears her voice slighty crack at "but" and quickly pulls herself together, not wanting to let out any tears like before.

"Well...let's just say...they didn't show up. They've been constantly sending me letters, telling me how much they cared, but...I guess they don't. Which is fine, haha! I'll be fine! I'll be...fine." The bat clearly wasn't fine with the heartbroken look on her face, and honestly just wanted today to be over.

Before she left again, Angel decided that now would be a good time to speak up.

"Stel, wait!" he called out to her. The minute she heard her name, the redhead turned back around to Angel, giving the spider her full attention. "Yes?" Angel clears his voice and nervously scratches the back of his head while looking down at the ground, cheeks flushed. He's usually the cocky, confident type, so seeing himself in such a state confused even him.

Shyly looking up to Stella, a blush still apparent on his face as his fingers started to fidget, Angel began to speak. "W-Well, about those, um, letters you've been getting...I, uh, you see, um, I wanted to say..." The spider stopped talking after "say", his nervousness not allowing him to get his full words out.

Stella's eyes soften at him, having a feeling that she knew exactly what Angel was going to say. "Yeah?" The spider took a deep breath, stopped his fidgeting, looked Stella in the eyes and gave the bat the most sincere smile.

"I wanted to say, Stel, that I met every word in all of them. Ever since the day we meant, I started gaining these feelings fer ya, and I thought that sooner or later the feelings would just, ya know, just go away. But...they haven't. In fact, they've gotten stronger. I started fallin' fer ya more and more each time we hung out. I couldn't get ya out of my head. You and I are best friends, so it all felt weird." He let's out a sigh. "Stella Taylor Delano, I know this might sound crazy, maybe even insane for me to say but...I love you. I didn't think I would ever have to say those words to a girl before, but it's true. You mean the world to me and make life in the afterlife more fun and worth living. Stel, I love you, and it would mean the absolute world to mean if ya loved me back." The spider awaited for the red head's response.

Stella's grey cheeks blushed crimson as touched tears began to course down her cheeks. She wiped her face a bit with her coat sleeve, but the salty liquid continued to fall as she walked towards him.

"A-Angel," she began, a sniffling mess. "Y-You really mean it?" The spider gave her a playful, but caring grin. "You know it, toots~!"

"A-Angel?"

"Yeah? What is it, babe?"

Once Stella was in front of him, she softly cupped his face and smiled in his direction. "I have something that I wanna confess that might sound crazy too."

"Y-You do?" he stuttered, his face turning as red as Stella's. "Well, what is it?"

As Stella started to talk to him, her smile still stayed on her face. "Angel Dust...I feel the same way. I love you too."

"Really?" he asked, his face getting close to her. "Really," she replied, her face getting close as well.

Their faces were now inches away from each other. They could feel each other's hot breath on their lips as the two's hearts were beating like drums. With just one movement, Stella and Angel locked lips.

As they shared their sweet kiss, flakes of snow began to fall from the sky as "I Found Love" started to play in the background.

"Oh, Moxxie! Just look at it! It looks absolutely gorgeous!" gasped Millie. The female imp and her hubby were in their kitchen putting the finishing touches to the Christmas cake that they baked together.

"It just needs one more thing..." Moxxie said as he looked on the counter for any decorations that would complete the cake.

"Ah ha!" he picked up the Christmas star cake decoration and placed it on top. "A star!" he smiled as he put his hand on his wife's waist and brought her close to him for a cheek kiss.

A giggle emerged from her lips as she smiled back at him. "Oh Moxx, this has to be the best Christmas ever," Millie sighed contently as she rested her head on his shoulder.

"Oh, Loonie~!" Blitzo cooed as he arrived to Loona who was waiting for him at the end of the snowy sidewalk. The imp was carrying with him a plastic baggie that was barely filled with marbles as he shows them off for her to see.

"Gotcha a little Christmas Eve gift~ I had a jar for these, but it broke. Wasn't my fault though, some asshole ran into me. So, what do you think?"

Loona facepalms herself as she groans in annoyance at her dad's boss's lame ass "gift".

Back on the rooftop, we see our main couple still sweetly smooching. At the roof door, Niffty suddenly pops her head out and spots the two making out and giggles madly in fangirl victory, pulling out a notepad and pencil and doodling the cinematic masterpiece she's witnessing.

"MY OTP IS CANON, MY OTP IS CANON, MY OTP IS FREAKIN' CANON!" she quietly streaks, not wanting the lovebirds to hear or see her.

"Perfect!" she says as she takes a look at her finished work.

The drawling is a cute animu like doodle of Stella and Angel kissing. She then takes out her cellphone, turns off her camera flash, and quickly snaps a photo of the two before giggling to herself again and silently slipping away. Boy, her Stangel fanfiction is gonna be awesome with all this official content she's gotten!

Once Stella and Angel slowly pull away, they both hold each other's gaze as their eyes sparkle in wonderment. The kiss felt like something straight out of a fairytale. The two soon realize that they've been staring at one another for too long as they both apologize in unison and quickly look away, blushing like crazy.

While they continue their lack of eye contact, Stella feels a snowflake land on her nose as she looks up to see that it's snowing. As the snow continues to fall, bits of it gets in Stella's hair. Angel looks back to her and notices this.

A soft, genuine look appears on his features as he brushes some of the snow off of her head and lifts her hoodie up.

"There," he smiled warmly to the bat.

Stella returns the warm look and smiles back. "Thanks," she says, her heart melting.

"Soooo, uh," Angel cleared his throat as he started to blush, shyly looking away yet again as he scratches the back of his head.

"Does this mean we're, like, a thing now?" he asked, a bit worried about Stella's reply. The red head giggled at his shy state as she hummed out, "It seems so," she gently grabbed his upper hand, squeezing it a bit.

The spider chuckled as he grinned at Stella. "Good. I'm glad." The now official couple held hands as they walked back inside. This was definitely the start of a cute, beautiful relationship.

[readyplayerhobi]

Flower | 08

; Hoseok x Reader

; Genre: Fluff, slight angst

; Word Count: 3.9k

; Synopsis: You finally decide to take a dip into the world of online dating and find the Flower dating app. One of the top matches for you proves to be a guy who looks to be your complete opposite; tattooed, pierced, a metalhead and oh…incredibly handsome. What happens when you throw caution to the wind and reach out to him?

; A/N: Yet another chapter for us all! :D I hope you’re still enjoying it and you like the new banner! This is what he looks like in this fic obviously, just with tattoos and a lip ring. Please reblog if you enjoyed and leave me comments, feedback and asks! It helps to fuel my inspiration for this to know you all love it too!

; Flower Masterpost

-

The bar in front of you looks ever so slightly dinghy, but you can’t tell if that’s an actual thing or if you’re just stereotyping it. This was the bar that Hoseok and his friends frequented often, a rock bar apparently.

It sounded like everything you hated but you knew he loved it given all the stories he’d told you over the last month of the mischief they all got up to. Apparently when you added alcohol into their strange friendship, it resulted in pure chaos. Part of you wanted to see it, but the overwhelming part of you was terrified.

You’d never been in a situation like this before. Previous partners had been in college, where you already knew their friends. This was new territory, terrifying territory. When you walked through that door, you were going to be meeting Hoseok and his closest friends for the first time.

It made you want to be sick. They probably had expectations on you. There was no way he hadn’t talked about you to them...or what if hadn’t? What if you were a complete surprise to them? What if he’d spouted so much crap and they were disappointed when they meet you? Thought he could do better? What if they hated you? Publicly ignored you or insulted you.

Not that you think Hoseok would let them.

You’d both been dating now just over a month and you were pretty sure that he was the kind of person who wouldn’t accept someone being mean to you. But friends were important, right? If Chungha and Soyeon both expressly disapproved of Hoseok then you doubted that you’d have stayed with him.

What if they told him that they didn’t like you? Would he leave you?

You’re so busy catastrophizing just outside of the door that you don’t notice when someone comes out of it, the music from inside loud enough to be heard when the door is open but not deafening. A hand pressing on your arm gently makes you jump, eyes widening as you look up into the face of Hoseok.

“You’ve gotta stop jumping like this. I’m worried you’ll give yourself a heart attack. Anyway, any reason you’re out here instead of coming inside? Like the smell of piss and weed or something?” Your nose wrinkles at that, acknowledging the disgusting smell that you’d been trying not to think about and he laughs.

“I was...coming. I just…” You struggle to get the words out, shrugging rather limply and he sighs softly. Hoseok had been trying to encourage to meet his friends now for a week, his texts saying that tonight was happening and he’d really, really love it if you came. It was a good sign that he wanted you to meet them, you knew that, but your very nature recoiled away from socialising with large amounts of people.

And that was to say nothing about being out on a weeknight, your body screaming to just go home and relax on the couch with Netflix. Or the fact that you were going to be the centre of attention.

Just the thought made you seize up in anxiety, body going cold while your breath came a little faster. Hoseok seems to tell that your mood has changed and he shifts around in front of you, cupping your face in his hands while his thumbs gently stroke at your cheeks.

“Hey...hey. What’s wrong? Tell me. Is it this? You don’t have to, I won’t be mad. Swear. I’ll call a taxi for you and you can go home if you want.” He’s looking at you earnestly, his eyes scanning over your face to track every micro expression and you feel his genuine care. The girls were right in that you’d found a good one here.

“No, no. I don’t...I just...it’s a lot. I don’t...I,” Wiping at your mouth, you look up at the sky and try hard not to start hyperventilating or something. “What if they don’t like me? And everyone’s going to be staring at me and judging me and I hate when I’m the centre of-”

“Hey...it’s okay. We’ll...I’ll make sure that they don’t make you feel uncomfortable okay? They’re good people. And they’ll like you. You’re hard not to like. Just...be yourself.” The smile on his face is reassuring but you can still feel the anxiety bubbling deeply within.

“Myself is someone with social anxiety who talks about useless crap and blurts out overly sarcastic comments. I’d rather be someone else.” You look away at that, brows rising for a moment while your lips turn down. The sound of Hoseok sighing fills your eyes and you feel bad for whining at him, knowing that he’d only know you a month and he was already having to put up your stream of negativity.

“I don’t. I like you. The useless crap is interesting and the sarcastic comments are hilarious. I want to introduce my friends to you...my girlfriend. Not some other girl, okay? Do you want to go in or…?” He points at the door, smiling at you and you just nod, eyes wide as a warmth blossoms from deep within.

He called you his girlfriend.

-

The pleased shock of what he’d called you wears off quickly as he moves along the sticky floor to the booth where his friends are all sat. It’s dim inside, the overhanging lights dull while the neon green and pink of the beer logos behind the bar contrast vibrantly. A whole multitude of spirits and other forms of alcohol sit on the space below them along with various whiskeys on the optics, just waiting for someone to order them.

Hoseok glances over at a platinum blonde haired girl behind the bar, her arms and neck covered with even more tattoos than Hoseok, before he raised a hand and pointed to you. “Can you bring a Coke please?” The girl nods and reaches for a fresh glass from above but you don’t get to pay anymore attention as Hoseok’s hand presses against your lower back once more.

It’s easy to tell where his friends are. The place isn’t too big and there isn't a huge amount of people here, only a few booths filled up. But his friends are loud, talking at incredible volumes and laughing even louder than that. You know it’s them because he’s leading you directly to them, the pressure from his hand a little stronger as you hesitate.

“It’s okay.” He whispers, quickly pressing a kiss to your temple and you heat up at the public display of affection. Yet despite the embarrassment that rolls through you, there’s an equal amount of reassurance that you feel at his presence.

The noise quietens down when you both walk up, seven interested faces glancing you up and down before looking over at Hoseok. They all look a bit squashed into the booth and Hoseok grabs two chairs from a nearby empty table, quickly ushering you into one.

“Okay so, well...errr…” He sounds a little nervous and you realise with a start that he probably is as nervous as you are. These are his friends after all, you have no doubt that he wants them to like you while also hoping that you’ll like them. He quickly introduces each person, pointing to each one and you follow along, giving shy smiles to each one as they smile in return or wave.

“And...well...this is Y/N. If anyone says anything mean then I will feed you a rotten egg. I have one in my fridge that I need to throw out, so it can happen.” Hoseok threatens lightly, his smile light but you can sense an edge behind it too. No one says anything in response to that and he shuffles a tiny bit closer, his arm moving to rest on the back of your chair.

“Err...hi.” It’s all you can get out, your body tensing from their attention. You think frantically for something else to say, desperately hoping that someone else will take up the mantle for you and thankfully, Jimin’s fiancée Eden does.

“What do you do then? Anything interesting?” The question makes you glance down at your hands, their carefully painted nails playing with the zip on your bag as you swallow.

“I’m just an admin assistant for a wholesaler. Nothing interesting.” She nods at that with a laugh, rolling her eyes and leaning back into her partner. His hair isn’t pink anymore, but instead a deep black that makes him look appallingly attractive.

Actually they all look attractive and you want to point an accusatory finger at Hoseok, wondering how on earth he managed to find six other men who looked like they modelled for high fashion brands at the weekend. Nothing to boost your self confidence than having seven guys prettier than you around you.

“God, I feel you. I’m convinced there’s no such thing as hell otherwise my life would not be as shit as it is. I’m a receptionist at a doctor’s clinic, which would be fine if it wasn’t for the fact that patients are not only dumb as fuck but also some of the rudest people out there. Like...I get you’re in pain and hurting but there’s no need to be an ass, you know?” You find yourself smiling with a nod, her open nature and friendliness calling out to you.

“You think that’s bad? Try having to deal with people who need legal representation when you know they’re the scum of the earth. God, I wish I’d chosen something boring to specialise in, like property law. Law and Order makes it look really interesting but it’s really not, it’s just stress and boring research.” Namjoon’s the one who says that, his hair blonde and shaved pretty short on the sides.

He has a kind face, you decide, as you watch him laugh over something Jungkook says, the man next to him. Deep dimples spot his cheeks when he smiles and you can easily see why he ended up being the first to not only marry but also have a child.

His wife is apparently still in the end stages of pregnancy, hence why she’s not here tonight. As nice as the extra female company would have been, you’re sure she’s probably curled up at home. Part of you wishes you were curled up at home too.

“Friends, friends...I have two words for you all...customer...service.” Taehyung, a ridiculously attractive man who you think actually should have a career as a model instead of a customer service representative, says with raised brows, hands lifting into the air as he shrugs. His eyes are barely visible beneath the tousled, curled black hair he’s sporting.

Hisses and winces of sympathy erupt from everyone, including you, before the conversation carries on further. Nothing else leaves you because you can’t think of anything to talk about so you simply listen. No one notices the quietness that you fall into as they continue to talk, their friendships allowing them to chat easily and quickly through numerous topics that you don’t particularly understand.

You’re good at disappearing into the background of people, vanishing from conversations and simply watching them happen around you. It was a lot easier than trying to figure out how to talk without sounding like an idiot, which was a regular occurrence for you.

But after ten minutes of it, apart from a thank you to the bartender who brings you your drink, Hoseok evidently takes notice. He leans close to you, lips brushing against your ear and you shiver ever so slightly as his warm breath tickles the fine hairs as he speaks in a low voice to you.

“Is everything okay? You’ve gone quiet.” You look at him with wide eyes, shrugging slightly as you curl into yourself a little more. He frowns in response, lips pursing slightly and causing his lip ring to jut out funnily as he contemplates your response.

But he doesn’t say anything vocally, instead just moves his arm to wrap around your shoulders and tug you a little closer. He’s delightfully warm against you and the now familiar smell of peppermint and sandalwood envelops you as he does so. You have no idea what cologne he uses but it smells amazing, and there’s nothing better than a nice smelling guy sometimes.

“Hoseok told us about your first date by the way, I’m not surprised he couldn’t get out of an escape room.” Jimin pipes up suddenly, a mischievous look on his face as Hoseok stiffens next to you in outrage. He’s sputtering for a reply and you can’t help but smile, ducking your head down and shrugging.

“Don’t be too mean, I also couldn’t get us out.” You admit quietly, a meek look on your face as they all laugh. Taehyung pointed at Jungkook with an incredulous look, eyes widening as he accuses the post-grad student.

“I don’t know why you’re laughing, the last time we did one of those you broke the fucking door. Got banned from the damn place after having to pay to have it fixed.” Everyone looks at Jungkook in amusement at that, an oddly fond expression woven into them as he begins to protest his innocence immediately.

“I didn’t break it! I just...tried opening it. And it did.” He gestures, shoulders slumping as he slides down the seat ever so slightly, his bottom lip sticking out in an adorable pout. From what you’ve learnt from Hoseok, Jungkook is most definitely the baby of the group. Not because he acts like a child, but because he’s the youngest and the others all treat him like a little brother.

“You. Kicked. The. Door. The fuck did you think was gonna happen?”

“Everyone said that doesn’t work in real life! I thought I’d just kick it and nothing would happen, maybe make my foot hurt or something. Felt cool though, like I was in a crime show.” Namjoon sighs deeply at that, rubbing his hand over his eyes with a weariness you get the feeling he experiences more often than not with these guys.

“Yeah, if you wanted to be in Brooklyn 99 and not Criminal Minds.” The words are filled with more than a little sarcasm from Taehyung who crosses his arms over his chest, suddenly making you realise how broad he is. It’s not helped when you find yourself assessing them all and realising that while Taehyung and Seokjin are both incredibly wide, Yoongi and Jimin appear to be almost petite with how slender they are.

“Well I may have sucked ass, and perhaps we would die if we ended up in a horror situation which required us to solve our way out of a room, but I didn’t break anything. And the rest of the date went fine, thank you very much.” Hoseok leans back in his chair, a smirk on his face as he looks smugly at them all.

And you can’t help it, you just cannot help yourself.

“Except for when you told me about that girl throwing up on your dick.” 

Immediately he looks at you in betrayal, jaw dropping open and letting you see that he’s changed his tongue piercing for a black ball instead of silver. But you can’t help but smile and giggle his brows furrowed in disbelief, the noise increased in volume when he starts to tickle you playfully.

“I told you that in confidence!”

“No you didn’t, you said it in the middle of a restaurant on a first date! That’s like...the least confidential thing ever. You may as well have hired a skywriter to write it out or something.” You wriggle away from his fingers, pushing at his hands to try and avoid them.

Hoseok pauses, lips pursing together as he looks you over before he sneers. It’s not a mean face, you can see the joy in his eyes and part of you feels relief rush through you that you haven't offended him. “Maybe so.”

“A girl threw up on your dick?” Jungkook asks, his face a complete picture of disgust. On the contrary, Jimin just shrugs before waving a hand airily.

“Hey man, you do you. If that’s what gets you off then that’s what gets you off. This is a non-judgemental place.” He said serenely, causing Eden to turn and look at him with a raised brow.

“You get turned on at egg-laying dildos. In fact...you told me that you wanted to try role playing as Thanos the other night.” That stuns everyone into silence, a slight look of judgement on everyone’s face as they look at the smaller man. He maintains a perfectly blank face before shrugging.

“I will admit that maybe my sexual practices aren’t your normal ones…”

The conversation spirals after that, becoming one of intense discussions about sexual preferences, kinks and even fetishes. Some of the things said make you heat up from curiosity but most of them are because of pure embarrassment. They laugh and joke about things that you’ve never heard anyone joking about before and you find that you don’t have anything to add.

Not that you’re sure you want to have anything to add. You do find out though that Hoseok has been much more adventurous in bed than you given some of the stories both he and the others tell. Apparently a few of them had lived together in college and they’d had a truly wild time during those years.

It was certainly amusing though and you found that you quite liked just listening to them talk, absorbing their stories and disseminating the intense history between them all. The easy way they slipped into each others conversations made their long friendships obvious and you felt a pang of longing for something like this.

There was no doubt that Chungha and Soyeon were the same with you, but you’d never seen it like this on such a large scale with this many friends. 

After a while though, you feel your inner tolerance for social situations rapidly depleting and a swirl of anxiety runs through you as you realise that it’s already nearing 9pm. You still have to get home, a thirty minute taxi ride away, and then shower for the next day. Your bed is calling you more than ever and you fidget for a few minutes, wondering how to politely tell Hoseok that you wanted to leave.

Leaving social events was never easy for you because you always felt like you were going to let people down or have them judge you. But you were tired, your eyes beginning to droop as your energy levels fell and the makeup on them pulled them down. The warmth of Hoseok against you wasn’t helping either, the desire to curl up into him and sleep so strong.

You don’t realise that you’ve drifted off for a few minutes, head resting against Hoseok’s shoulder as one hand lays on his thigh. Not until he gently jerks you awake, your eyes widening as you blink rapidly to try and move through the fog of sleep.

“Hey...you wanna go home? I’ll call a taxi for you.” A murmur of protest leaves you, a new anxiety at letting him down burning at you but he shakes his head with a sweet smile. Pressing his lips to your forehead, he grabs his phone and opens the Uber app. “It’s okay, honestly. I know you’re tired by now and I’d rather you go now than stay out and be even more tired.”

You can’t find it in yourself to complain any further, just laying your head back down on his shoulder and trying your hardest to stay awake. It was hard though, and you wondered what his friends thought seeing you like this. A benefit to being so drained of energy though was that you didn’t particularly care what they thought of you right now. You just wanted to go home and go to bed.

“Come on, it’s here,” Hoseok whispered, shifting you until you got up out of the uncomfortable wooden seat, stretching out with a quiet groan. “I’m just gonna take her to the taxi.”

“Bye, it was nice meeting you.” You say, your voice incredibly soft but all of them give you a smile in response as they give their goodbyes as well. Hoseok takes your hand, entangling your fingers, before gently pulling you back through the bar to the door. The waiting Uber is parked at the side of the road, waiting for you to get in and Hoseok walks over, opening the door.

Before you get in though, you wrap your arms around his waist and hugged him tightly. “Do you think it went okay?” 

Your words are a little muffled but he hears them anyway, the street is pretty quiet except for the idling engine of the car. His hand rubs along your back slowly and you lean a tiny bit back, looking up at him in the crappy lighting.

“I think it went good. Don’t worry about it, honestly. Anyway...text me when you get home so I know you’re safe, okay?” You nod, feeling a little like you’re being instructed by a parent but it makes you feel warm and good at his concern. “Good. I’ll text you good night.”

With that, he gives you a sweet kiss goodnight, nothing intense or passionate. Just...nice, a goodbye kiss. And once he’s done, despite the flurry of butterflies you still feel when he kisses you, you get into the taxi and smile at him as he closes the door and watches as the car drives off.

-

Hoseok heads back into the bar once he can’t see the Uber anymore, excited happiness buzzing through him. He really did think it had gone well tonight; both on your side and his friends side. Even though he’d prewarned them that you were pretty shy and awkward, they’d been very respectful in a way that had surprised him.

Sitting back on his chair, he leans forward and grabs his beer, taking a deep swig before placing it back down. Everyone is sat staring at him, each with a differing expression on their face and he knows what they’re all waiting for.

Sighing deeply, he shrugs and lifts his hands up. “Well?”

“Where did you find that church mouse?” Jimin asks, his brows rising incredibly high. A few of the other chuckle, lips turning up as they nod and Hoseok feels defensiveness rising in him.

“She’s not that bad. Just...quiet. I told you she was.” He’s about to say more but Namjoon holds up a hand, calming down the atmosphere immediately.

“She was nice Hoseok. A little nicer than we’re used to with you I think. But that’s good, don’t get offended!” He says when Hoseok’s face turns outraged. “I think she’ll be good for you. You seem very relaxed with her.”

“I think you’re cute together,” Eden pipes up with a grin. “The shy girl and the loud, tattooed guy. Like one of those romance books or a fanfic.”

Hoseok frowns slightly, running his tongue over his lip ring. “Is that good?”

“Yes. She’s living the dream, that’s all I’ll say.”

[woulddieforperrytheplatypus]

To distract myself from this awful political scene I'm forced to watch for history class: can you give us some obscure side characters (like, Dr. Diminutive, Newton the Gnu, type characters) you absolutely love for no reason? :) <3

Okay I am literally so late because I was doing my chem reading and my writing hw BUT I can’t refuse a chance to scream about my favorite characters (but y’all can refuse to listen to my scream about them so here’s a cut)

First of all, I want you to know that I haven’t even started listing characters yet and this ask has already lead me to spend almost $4 on Agent P’s Guide to Fighting Evil and that’s why I don’t look at the PnF wiki when I’m tired thank you for coming to my TED talk

I almost feel like I’m cheating by starting with Dr. Diminuitve but HOW CAN I NOT LIKE TELL ME THAT LIL MAN IS NOT THE BEST CHARACTER THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN OKAY FUCKIN DO IT JUST KIDDING YOU CAN’T I mean come on, one of his first lines was literally “I don’t have a Napoleon complex; Napoleon had a ME complex!” I had to check the wiki to see if that was his first line ever and I’m very disappointed that it wasn’t and then in OWCA’s Going Down when all the evil scientists were just vibin against the fence and they started doing that West Side Story snappy walk and Diminutive was so into the snaps that he just didn’t fucking move and then he opened his eyes and the rest of the gang was halfway off the screen fjdskhfkalsfhaskl I just really love him okay the more I think about it the more convinced I am that he’s actually my favorite character

Idk if this counts as an obscure side character but he is incredibly underrated so I gotta throw in: LAWRENCE FUCKING FLETCHER. He’s just such a pure and innocent lil dude. He sees the boys doing dangerous shit and he’s just like, “Well that’s happening,” or better yet, “Hey, that looks fun!” I mean, the airplace? The flying carpet? The monster trucks? He genuinely gives zero fucks and I love him for it. I wholeheartedly believe that Lawrence knows Perry is a secret agent -- or at least that he’s smarter than he acts -- but he’s literally so indifferent to everything going on around him that he never mentions it because life is full of fun and exciting things like that and he can’t talk about them all, you know? And he gets so excited about his antiques and he’s so passionate about history and ughhhh I love him 

I was about to say I feel like I’m cheating by using a special but it just occurred to me that that’s lowkey how I’ve prefaced all of these so no, fuck that, I’m using a special and that’s just how it’s gonna be. CARL FROM THE LAND OF INTERNUS WOULD HAVE MADE A MUCH BETTER ENDING THAN THE ACTUAL BOOK HAD AND FUCK YOU MONOGRAM FOR CUTTING CARL OFF BEFORE HE COULD TELL IT HOW HE WANTED TO

These two kinda go hand-in-hand but Bunka Da Bunkaquan and Sweary the Swan are my favorite alternative Perrys. As far as the specials go, Steampunx isn’t one of my favorites, but Sweary the Swan is just... How do you even describe Sweary the Swan? He is life. He is the reason I wake up in the morning. He is the only thing worth living for. And then Bunka Da Bunkaquan is just so fuckin cute and anyone who disagrees needs their eyes checked. And tbh while we’re talking about Tri-Stone area, I gotta throw in a mention of Doofengung no of course I didn’t have to google what his name was what are you talking about because I love how he just stares at the water and every time it drips he just fuckin cackles lmaooo

Okay one more special (maybe) but Doofenshmirtz in The Temple of Juatchadoon brooo I just googled it to make sure I spelled that right and I did woah my power is unmatched is lowkey my favorite Doofenshmirtz. I don’t know if it’s because I actually like him more than every other Doof or if it’s just because his first scene was with Phineas Ohio Flynn and they knew each other and they had actual interactions throughout the episode and the Doof/Phineas relationship is my favorite underexplored relationship, but Juatchadoon Doof makes the list anyway

The “what did you think, _________ was just going to fall out of the sky?” couple — who 100% deserved that cameo in catu

I’m almost afraid to say this in public, but I actually really like Roger. I was mostly indifferent to him at first, but then Delivery for Destiny happened and I was like wait a minute, why am I sleeping on his man who literally orders boxes just to give to his cat? And once I realized that he was kinda cool, it started sinking in that he was never actually a bad guy. Heinz never even really claimed he was -- if anything, his problem is that Roger isn’t a bad guy, and everyone in Gimmelshtump and Danville knows it. And I gotta give Roger credit for not being too harsh on his brother, because yeah, he can be a little stuck up (I’m looking at you, stupid golf game), but you can’t really blame him for thinking he’s better than Heinz, you know? But at least he’s not a dick about it like their parents are. Also the entire latter half of this paragraph was me trying to find a way to work in the other part of that scene with the cat box and it didn’t work so I’m just gonna tack it on to the end because this isn’t an essay for English class and I can do that lmao. Paul mentions that he just delivered something to a Heinz Doofenshmirtz, and Roger is like 😬 because let’s be real, no one wants to be represented by the type of dude to try to juice City Hall, but he’s obviously not going to say that because he’s still a respectful dude, so he’s just like “Charming... man... isn’t he...” and he’s literally so uncomfortable and it cracks me up every time but also it’s lowkey kinda wholesome because Heinz may make it his life mission to embarrass his brother but Roger doesn’t reciprocate. but I accidentally discovered a few weeks ago that John O’Hurley is a raging Trump supporter so I gotta dock points for that one

In the same vein, Paul the delivery guy. What more do I have to say?

If my love of Roger didn’t turn the world against me, this one probably will, but I’m going to say it loud and proud anyway. I LOVE PETER THE PANDA. He’s just??? so??? cute??? Like when he was tearing apart Doof’s inator and he was just... actually no scratch that I need pictures for this because I can’t explain this in words

THIS IS NOT EITHER OF THE PICTURES I WAS LOOKING FOR BUT LOOK AT THIS LITTLE GUY OH MY GOD

Peter really said “this bitch empty, YEET!”

okay but the ones I was actually looking for are...

I mean, how can you not find him adorable? And don’t even get me started on his relationship with Perry because Meapless in Seattle was just... B R O Perry flew halfway across the country (probably I mean idk where exactly Danville is but they use EST so Seattle is probably halfway across the country?) just to go grab a coffee with him. They went on a lil date at a fancy restaurant I know Dan said it wasn’t a date but he's been wrong in the tiktok comments before which means none of his opinions are canon lmao. They’re just? So? Cute? I don’t even know what to make of their relationship but I live for it.

And I can’t mention Peter without bringing up his nemesis, who, to be entirely honest, I also don’t know what to make of and he’s mostly on this list because I like the line “How did you get chorus girls in here?” and when I downloaded and cut a bunch of songs that you can download from Google Drive here if you want, I specifically kept that part in because I love it lmao (I do gotta point out tho because it’s been bugging me since I last watched the episode: I don’t think we have any proof that Professor Mystery even exists in the PnF dimension. I had just assumed he did for the longest time, but that entire episode takes place in a dimension where Lawrence is a polar bear. Who knows what other differences there are?)

I love all the grandparents and I don’t even have an explanation they’re just all adorable

Okay I know I said no more specials but TECHNICALLY at2d isn’t a special; it’s a movie. I am physically incapable of not brining up the muffin time Normbot and the “I use aggression to mask my insecurites” Normbot.

While we’re talking about Norm, his old head would 100% swear all the fucking time if it wasn’t a kids’ show and i gotta respect it

Dan Povenmire does one line for a dude named Vinnie in Mission Marvel and off the top of my head I don’t remember who he is but it was the beginning of the episode and I think (?) it was during the New York scene and he does it in the Vinnie Dakota voice long before Dakota was even a concept (I’m assuming) so he gets a mention

Jerry the Platypus gives me Paper Jam Dipper vibes and they are both valid as fuck (the fucked up Doof copy is not valid as fuck tho we’re gonna pretend he didn’t exist)

Don is literally the best part of Where’s Pinky and I’m not just saying that because I’ve been watching Whose Line for years and I was super excited to see Wayne Brady in the credits (and the fact that he was also in both the quarantine rap and catu makes me incredibly happy)

Ooh I almost forgot OWCA Files existed but Harry the Hyena playing the trumpet and the subsequent “you’re gonna be wearing that in a minute” is the best part of OWCA Files and tbh just Doof, Perry, and Harry could have carried an entire series by themselves (though I do also love Karen and Maggie)

WAIT A SECOND THE BUG TRIO FJDSAHFLKSAJD I was trying to pick a favorite last time I watched OWCA Files and every time one of them spoke they were my new favorite like I lowkey thought their plotline was boring but the characters themselves were hilarious

WAIT ANOTHER SECOND HOW DID I GET THIS FAR INTO THE LIST WITHOUT MENTIONING MONTY HOLY SHIT I’M SUCH A FAKE FAN BUT I LOVE MONTY OKAY HE IS LITERALLY JUST OZ FROM BTVS EXCEPT MONTY AND VANESSA HAVE BETTER CHEMISTRY THAN OZ AND WILLOW AND NO I WILL NOT BE ACCEPTING CRITICISM

Wait I forgot Vlorkel too omfg these two belong way higher on the list but Vlorkel is the love of my life (and I lowkey wish she had met Steve the giant chameleon because they would have become best friends)

I wanna keep going but it’s currently 1:45 in the morning (this is why I’ve been avoiding asks during the day: I get way too into them and spend a solid hour and a half on them and I’d never get any schoolwork done lmao) and it’s far from the first time I’ve stayed up this late but I figured it was fine because I have no classes tomorrow but it occurred to me like four seconds ago that I DO HAVE A CLASS TOMORROW SHIIIIT I had an anatomy exam on Tuesday during my usual class time (which if you read my tags you might have known about because I was having an existential crisis over it) so he moved our class tomorrow excePT IT’S NOT TOMORROW IT’S TODAY IT’S LITERALLY IN LESS THAN SEVEN HOURS FUCKING HELL I GOTTA GO TO BED ASAP

[nctzendreamz]

HOMECOMING — PART I

Prologue / Part l / Part ll / Part lll 

Summary: The year is 3030, and the divide between the rich and poor couldn’t be greater. Wildwood University is the most prestigious school in the entire world, but it isn’t only because of the impeccable flying cars that can be seen best during the fuchsia lit nights, or the dexterous education everyone receives. It has secrets. A lot of secrets.

Genre: Gang!AU, Futuristic!AU, Dystopian!AU

Warnings: Vivid descriptions of violence, foul language, drug use, and murder.

Taeyong had never been on a train before. In NEO, there was no reason to use them. No one could afford to go anywhere, but even on the rare occasion that you had no children, and owned a buisness successful enough to have the cash, you couldn’t past the test; the certification test.

The purpose of the certification test was to ensure that people who resided in NEO, or practically anywhere that had the familiar smell of poor water systems and hunger breath, couldn’t cross the border that lead to the “brightest place on earth”; Valhalla. They asked impossible questions, but most importantly, you couldn’t have a criminal record. Something impossible in poverty and they knew that.

Valhalla didn’t feel like a real place. I mean, Taeyong knows it’s real because they always drop the brochures from their solar powered helicopters four times a year; one for every season. Everyone always runs and practically slips on eachother’s drool to get the newest addition of the futuristic landmarks they decide to bless the masses with. Photo’s only, of course.

Taeyong finds it to be quite taunting. To actually give these people any hope that they could make it over. It was hilarious.

If you work hard, you too, can see the light. Absolutely pathetic.

Currency wasn’t a familiar term back home either. You purchased what you needed with other things; your body, drugs, or being a child.

Everyone had sympathy for the children that came into the convinence stores with dark hands, and heavy bags under their eyes indicating they had the weight of the world on their shoulders, but also the slouch that proved they knew even now that there was no out. This was life. Now, they just had to figure out how to live it.

He’s alone right now. The sound of the tracks and rails continuously slapping against eachother was unfamiliar, but he didn’t mind it. He enjoyed hearing new sounds, smelling new things; good or bad. Even the scenery that laid before him wasn’t too harsh.

He can see the homeless on the streets, currently trying to prepare for the storm that was predicted to come tonight. With the small amount of privilege he has, there is a radio in their residence. Maybe this was because if not for that, everyday would seem like a hurricane was out to murder them all for good. Black and white vision didn’t leave room for much imagination.

“I haven’t taken this drive in a while, kid.” The man conducting this ride hadn’t spoken a word to him this entire time, but he didn’t mind the conversation. Even with his lack of communication skills, he was willing to put in an effort.

“That’s nice.”

“You know, I think we should throw a fucking party. I mean, you have to be extemely intelligent to be going across the border. A fucking genius.”

A drunken confession. Not surprising to Taeyong as everyone in NEO was on something. Or everything.

“But you know what, I know about you.” He starts, but Taeyong doesn’t move a muscle. He had been injected with enough Indigo to last him the next 48 hours; enough time to get on the campus without a squeak. Sooman promised he would give him further instructions later on. “I know you have some connections. But don’t worry, your secret is safe with me. I don’t know what you do, but I respect it.”

“Do you?”

“I do.”

Being so high, Taeyong can’t speak any longer. His hand rummages through his black bag that usually held his heavier weapons, and he feels for the blanket that never left his sights. It’s old place was on his bunk he shared with Jaehyun. He had the top. Now that he thinks about it, Jaehyun was quite jealous that he was the chosen one for this particular mission. He joked, saying that he must have sucked enough dick for a lifetime, considering he was obviously better looking, and more charming, but didn’t get chosen.

Taeyong simply shrugged, one of his signature moves. “I’m a better shooter, a more cold blooded killer, and my dicks bigger.”

But back to the blanket. Secretly, he was able to preserve the scent. His parents scent. This blanket, although seeming like a rather childish need, was his safe place. It was the last thing they gave him before he came downstairs one morning, expecting a large breakfast becuase they promised him. And they never broke promises. But instead he found them dismembered, blood splattered all across their wooden floors.

Even while thinking about his nightmare, there was no anxiety. He falls into slumber more peacefully than he ever had before, as he doesn’t have his guard up. No one is out to get him right now. He’s on his way to Valhalla, after all.

Also, thank God for Indigo.

Hours had passed, followed with the drunken conductor spewing on about how NEO could make it out. Become a real city, and purge its current anarchy position. Taeyong took the seat all the way in the back, so he obviously thought he was getting a response. Taeyong heard none of it.

Oddly enough, he feels himself waking up just when the train seemed to be slowing down. Taking a plane, or a jet, would’ve been so much quicker, but he doesn’t mind the good rest. It’s supposedly night time now, but there is a glow radiating from the sky. Damnit, he wished he could see the color. It was rumored to be fuchsia every single night. Every damn night.

Taeyong begins to stretch out his back muscles like a swan, preparing himself for his true specialty. He looks out the window, making sure they are in the correct location. The woods are steep; trees everywhere. According the brochures, this was a frequent camping spot for the residents of Valhalla. You had a perfect view of the burning stars that always left the weather warm, and sweet.

In his pocket, he feels around for the paper. He knows he can’t experience those luxuries right now, but it’s not against the rules to imagine, right?

A sweet vanilla scent always fills Camp Lolly! Maybe it’s because we wanted it to match with the pink sky! Or maybe it’s because you deserve it. Either way, you need to bring the whole family! Opening March 21, 3030.

Taeyong chuckles to himself. Cute, he thinks, already feeling the familiar rush of blood bounce around his anatomy. He hasn’t even touched his pistol yet, but his mouth was watering. He even felt his member getting excited, something he had never in his life experienced. He had never been dosed with this much.

“I don’t know why we stopped here.” The conductor takes another swing of his drink. “But I trust you. Wasn’t our conversation just amazing this whole trip? You know, maybe when you come back we can catch up in different ways?”

With the silence that filled the train, you would assume that he wasn’t in it. But that was the best part. A sky fox, he was. He’s crawling on the floor, looking nothing less of a demon. The sight is horrid, and as he approaches his prey, he can feel his eyes flashing. He had never been able to look in the mirror to see if this was a real thing. If the color was actually a bright purple color. Regardless, it feels good. It feels so good, he wants to scream.

“Taeyong? Where are—

Splat.

The pistol is silent even as it cools off, smoke receding from the hole. There’s a fat blood stain on the window, and it brings comfort to Taeyong. He can’t smell it, but he inhales deeply anyway. God, he wanted so badly to keep going. To take this high and do things he had never done before. Shoot him more, squeeze his throat to see if he can make it burst. But there’s no time for that.

“Sorry, buddy.” He laughs loudly. “But you talk too fucking much. Also, bosses orders.” He looks at the watch he always sported on his left wrist; tapping it twice. The text he recieved just minutes before the train showed up hologrammed above the dead body.

Get rid of him when you get there safely.

With his black gloves on, and his mask now covering his identity, he throws the man down the stairs of the train. He cleans the leftover blood on his way out, and with the strength of a million men and woman, he carries his body to the deepest parts of the greenland.

“Did you handle it?”

“Of course I did.”

“I know you can’t see it, but how does it look? It looks different, doesn’t it?”

Different was an understatement. Taeyong had found a safe place to finish his resting, and he was so ready. He was so ready to step foot onto the campus, class.

“They have black bricks.” He stares up, eyes rushing to search for everything. The scenery screamed the future. He can hear cars zooming down the road. They’re everywhere. People are laughing, and walking around with genuine smiles on their faces. Girls are with boys, and they’re not being assaulted, or being forced to show themselves just so they can eat. Some are even holding hands.

The grass seems so soft. More than ever now, does he want his colored vision. Grass is green, but he knew this grass was greener. Possibly a completely different shade of green.

“They have a lot more than black bricks, boy.” Sooman laughs, finding this whole ordeal too adorable. “They look clean don’t they?”

“Mhm.” Taeyong swallows.

“Your Indigo is wearing off.”

“How do you know?” He’s asking questions, but he’s not even listening. He’s quite distracted with the rumble echoing through the sky. On the brochure it always describes the day as blue. So that’s what color he was going with.

“You’re feeling a lot right now.”

“I can take extra. I don’t want you to think—

“Calm down, boy. You deserve to have fun. Starting today, no more Indigo for you. First and foremost, people will start asking you questions, and if your senses are off, it’ll expose you completely. But at the same time, you obviously can’t just stop taking them completely. You’ll be a mess. You’re smart enough to split the grams in half, lessening the dosage, aren’t you?”

“Are you sure? I mean—

“God, I’ve haven’t heard you ramble this much since I found you.”

That sentence brings an unfamiliar tingle to Taeyong’s chest. As usual, that days pops right into his memory, but he’s not content. He can feel his blood pressure rising slightly as he can see the blood again. The way their eyes were in the back of their heads, and their skin was pale.

“Sorry.” Is all he can muster.

“Take a half right now. It will calm you down. Call me when you see her.”

“Okay. See you when I come back.” He speaks, immediately hanging up the phone. Why the fuck did he just say that? So fucking sappy, and weird.

He continues to walk around the large campus. He can still feel that shaking, and it’s making him quite anxious. Just how he was feeling when he got this mission. The worst part of it all, or maybe the best part, was that his mission wasn’t what was bringing him the slight shake. He had literally been sent to murder the president of the most prestigious university in the world, and his entire family, but no sweat.

“Excuse me.” He finally speaks, noticing a girl, white hair, cruising cooly beside him. They happened to be walking over a bridge, assisting them over water. Beforehand, he thought he saw little fish swimming around in it, but he would have to test that later.

“What’s up?”

“What is that vibration? I’m new here.”

“Oh come on, don’t tell me you don’t know?”

His heart slightly stops, but he catches himself as his feet continue to scrape against the cobblestone walkway. He doesn’t care if it’s annoying the girl. He enjoys the sound.

“It’s landing hour. All the people who have flying cars are arriving at school as we speak. Some of them come in flocks, some alone. Most in flocks though.”

“Flocks?” He questions with an innocent head tilt. He knows what the word means, but he wanted to know what kind. Did they have gangs here too?

“You know, sports teams?” Her voice is becoming lighter, indicating she either was really annoyed with his idiotic questions, or she genuinely felt sorry for him.

“Yeah of course!” He corrects, turning his inner liar back on. More like outer liar. Not being on Indigo was way harder than he ever could’ve imagined. Especially when talking was his only way of finishing his mission. “I just mean, what kind of sports do they have here.”

“Well, we have the typical stuff. Swimming, floating rollerskating, but our most popular team is the speed demons. Electrical NASCAR. Hard to explain? you just have to see it in person. Complete jocks. So hot.” She gushes.

“Interesting.” He notes. “Why can we feel them, but not see them?”

“You see, everyone thinks that just because you go here that you’re rich. But that’s not true. I only drive a Tesla! My parents would never even think about buying a flying car! Even though I’m at the school that fucking invented them—anyways,” she breathes, slapping herself a quick time, “they have privileges, like their own parking lot. If you’re on the other side of the campus, you can see them rolling in, but from here? They don’t think we deserve it.”

“Right.” His lips are now folded into a thin line, wanting so badly to scoff at her. She was complaining about having a Tesla, when he had never even been inside a car. Fuck you. He thinks to himself. He’s not stupid enough to say it outloud. This girl is clearly naive, even if annoyed, and he knows he can get more information out of her.

They finally make it over the bridge, and Taeyong continues to observe the campus. There’s more students on this side. He can see ramps, and people using their hoverboards to skate and do tricks. It’s almost an electrical current thats surrounds the boards; lightning. They have no shoulder pads or knee, clearly knowing they are safe. No danger in sight.

“I never asked for your name?” He slides in, adjusting her book bag strap ever so slightly. He notices her blush.

“Mackenzie.” She chokes out. “You?”

“Lee.” He answers simply. “You like it’s here? Other than not having a flying car?” He chuckles. She can’t see or hear the aggression behind it. If his drugs weren’t wearing off, he might have fed on her like the idiot she was later tonight.

“I love it.” She sighs in content. “You meet a lot of great people here who just want to keep the world a beautiful place. Valhalla is...magical. Funny enough, the flying car guys may be hot jerks, but one of them has a sister.”

His ears perk up immediately. This can’t be this easy, can it? The chances of your name about to leave her mouth was actually quite slim, but it was possible. And a possibility is an opportunity.

“Really? Who?”

“Johnny and Y/N. Hottest people here. I know I say hot a lot, but they’re like—sexy. Most popular kids on the campus.” Her hand reaches for his own, and she slyly takes his schedule from his hand. She opens it promptly as they hault at a large pair of stairs. It’s a hologram, and rumor has it; your feet tingle when you walk on it.

Everyone gets a boost! The sign floats.

“Funny enough, she’s in the class. We all have class together.” She smirks. She’s happy. She thinks she has a chance to get with him; or at the least, get in his pants. “Environmental science.” She finishes. “Lucky me.”

He laughs, this time loudly. It echoes, and he sees her smiling even brighter from the sound. This makes him laugh even louder, taking his first steps into his new life; temporarily of course. It does indeed tingle, and feels himself waking up even more.

“No, Mackenzie,” he breaths out, taking a hand and swiping it through his hair ever so gently. “Lucky me.”

When he walks in, his heart stops. The ceiling seems to be unreachable as it practically touches the moon. He also can see right through it, although it seems to be able to protect from horrible weather conditions.

“Also lucky both of us, we’re here.” Mackenzie walks up to a black door; a keypad floating in the center. Her thumb locks itself on the scanner, and it opens immediately. Well, more like dissapeared. He quickly follows behind her, but is stopped and shocked, causing him to hiss.

“What—“ he ravels, rubbing his stomach from the pain. From the other side, he can see her, laughing at him. She thinks it’s cute.

“Everyone has to use their thumb print.” She confesses.

“You couldn’t have told me that before I walked behind you?”

“Everyone has to learn.”

Real funny, Mackenzie. More now than ever did he know she was going to be added to his list.

He sticks his thumb on the pad, and sticks his foot through to be safe. He’s in, and he can see so many people inside. The desks are all levitating; it’s unbelievable. He looks to see if there’s a professor, but there’s nobody. At least not yet.

“You can sit with me. Study buddies?” She cooes, locking his arms into hers, and for a split second, he almost reacts. He was not used to so much affection, not even with his brothers. They weren’t touching unless their hands were around your throat.

Once again, he’s following her lead. She hops on seemingly thin air, adjusting herself into the chair. He does the same, and now that he’s up, he can look around. All over, he can see familiar images. The images from the brochures.

Goon Lagon! Limy likepark! Winter frost!

There’s also a huge map resting in the back of the classroom. He’s too far to read what it says, but he wants so badly to know if NEO even made the cut. Do these people even know it exists? Probably so, right? A smile is creeping on his face again, because he really did it. He’s a monster, invading their world.

He’s caught up in his thoughts, but not so much that he doesn’t notice the door clearing again. He immediately breaks into a cold sweat when he sees who’s coming in.

It’s you. Johnny can also be seen, and he prays that he’s not in this class as well. That would make things so much harder. The two of you hug, followed by hoots and hollers from the guys floating in the back. They must be on the team, too, as they sport similar coats.

Your walk; it’s addicting. The sway in your hips is something Taeyong wasn’t acccustomed to, and the outfit you sport. He can’t see it, well the color, but in reality you’re wearing an orange tube top that read “NASCAR”, and has a car zooming on a track as a finishing touch. Your orange pants match perfectly. You had combat boots, just as he did on your feet, and shades were covering your face. You looked exactly what Mackenzie said you were; popular.

He expects you to find a way to sit in the back. Those seem to be your people. Your potential protectors. But without even thinking about it, seemingly, you hop up right beside him. You remove your shades from your face in dramatic fashion, and your eyes; they’re beautiful. They don’t even have to be a bright color. They’re just black to him, but they’re sparkling.

And yet, he’s unfazed. You’re nothing special, he thinks. A pretty face was nothing.

[popculturebuffet]

Quack Pack Episode 22 Review: Snow Place to Hide

So as some of you may know, I do weekly reviews of Ducktales ever since the season started. But quite obviously, that only comes once a week and on top of that we have only two weeks left of episodes before a break and given the last few episodes have stoked my wanting to watch other Disney Afternoon shows, after i’ve taken way too long to get around to watching more of them again despite having D+ for almost 6 months now, i’ve decided to branch out into other shows.  If you have an episode of a show, animated or otherwise, on D+ you want me to review, just shoot me a message and for three bucks, i’ll review it asap. Yes I snuck a promo in there but in my defense.. shut up. More babbling under the cut. 

So with Daisy a coming and me starving for Daisy Duck Content, and Disney Plus for SOME REASON STILL NOT HAVING HOUSE OF MOUSE DESPITE HAVING NO REASON NOT TO HAVE IT ON THERE AND HAVING BEEN AROUND 6 MONTHS, YOU ASSHOLES, I was left with a handful of choices to both watch casually and review. I’m not really intrested in the Disney Junior shows, though they aren’t bad, especially roadster racers, just not my speed. And while I DO fully intend to watch legend of the three cablleros, i’ve put it off too long and i’ve heard it’s excellent, it’s not a place to go for Daisy when, by all acccounts and what i’ve seen of the show, that version of her is godawful and not really approraite to celebrate the character going into her big debut.  Hence,  Quack Pack. I’d been meaning to revisit the show anyway, having seen two episodes that weren’t half bad years ago and despite it’s obvious flaws, being curious about the good in it. For the uninitated Quack Pack was disney’s second Duck show for the Disney Afternoon and followed Donald and teen versions of the boys on various misadventures. Along for the ride are Daisy, anchorwoman for globetrotting news program “what in the world?” and her coanchor and Donald’s Boss , as Donald’s the duo’s cameraman, Kent Powers, a smug egotistical human with weird hair. Yup I said human. One of Quack Pack’s more infamous traits was having humans instead of dog faces (the dog like humanoids carl barks used since he coudln’t use humans himself when he didn’t want to use a duck), which is a choice i’m just.. eh about. I don’t LIKE IT but it dosen’t ruin the show for me and the ducks blend well enough with them, I just question why disney did it when they turned down Goof Troop’s request to do the same, which again worked out for the best. As a result of this weird choice the series is less of a direct sequel to Ducktales and more of a spritual sequel:  it’s still barksian in it’s own way, just instead of focusing on scrooge, like the earlier comics in Barks catalogue it focuses on Donald, and thus bounces between slice of life shenanigans and globe trotting adventure, sort of like how the collection of barks stories I bought recently that’s donald centric starts with the all-time classic old castle’s secret about the family visting castle mcduck to find a hidden foruturne, and then segues into a comedy plot about donald trying to put the boys in chimp suits for a society party because he’s kind of an asshole in the old stories and these stories were kinda weird. I”ll probably talk about some of them at some point.  The problem though is that not only are the boys the focus instead of donald and daisy, but that the boys are insufferable here. They speak like otto rocket and act like zack morris, trying to scheme their way out of work and speaking like they just walked out of a commerical for Whale Cancer. 

F-Yeah. the point is, the three of htem just aren’t likeable or intresting, and it also hurts their paired up with Donald, who as usual is. It’s probably why I remember this ep so fondly: it’s mostly donald focused with the boys off to the side and taking slapstick vengance on a deserving target. But that’s quack pack in a nutshell: a wasted opprotunity that got overhyped as bad and whose good title got used for one of Ducktales 2016′s best episodes which classily didn’t take any real pot shots at it and even snuck kent in as one of the humans trying to murder them.  So with all of that out of the way, what’s this episode actually about? Well basically donald, after flying into a jealous rage over what he thought was her sweet talking another guy behind his back but was really just her cuddling her igauna, which sounds dirty for some reason but is entirely wholesome, is chastized by daisy for being a jealous twit. Daisy herself is jetting off for the weekend to a nearbye ski resort to get an interview with action star Jean Claude.. basically a combination of Jean CLaude Van Damme (the accent and onlyt hat) and Steven Segal (his apperance and skeeziness). Sadly the character isn’t wearing a kimiono the entire episode for accuracy, but he’s also not trying to sexually harass daisy for favors like the real steven segal would. No joke there he’s just a creep and deserves to be called out on it. Also the show missed a massive opproutnity to have him be a seagull named “Steven Seagull”. Just saying.  See Kent, being an ass, is trying to scoop daisy on it and get an interview himself, so Daisy’s trying to beat him. Donald says he trusts her but well.. then he starts hallunicnating. Everyone, i’d like you to meet the green eyed monster of jealousy. 

Why yes, that is a sizeable wolf in a green zoot suit representing Donald’s jealousy and insecurity. Why is it a wolf an not ana ctual monster? Why is donald halluicnating? Does he need thereapy.. I can only answer the last one which is yes. The rest I have nothing but I am here for it. And the wolf is one of the best parts of the episode: if this was just donald getting jealous over daisy, he’d be as much of a dick as his nephews are in this series, but the green eyed monster is a neat representation of the ugly feelings we all feel at one time or another. He sounds intellegent, clever... like he’s saying the right things... donald’s inner voice goading him on even though he knows deep down daisy wouldn’t cheat and he shoudln’t be doing what he’s doing.. which in this case is, as the wolf’s suggestion, taking the boys on a ski trip despite hating sking to find out if hsi fears are unfounded or not.  And while what donald’s doing is a MASSIVE dick move... the episode TREATS it as this,a s him being irrational and insecure.. so it’s a lot easier to deal with. Plus as is standard for comedies he keeps running into scenarios that look like Daisy’s having a good time or in romantic situations with kent by concidence, even though again he should know better. But that’s why donald is who he is: a relatable angry asshat whose just like you and me: because like us we all sometimes sink to our lower instincts despite knowing we shouldn’t. We slip and stumble. Does it make donald following her around okay? nope. But it dosen’t make him unsympahetic either, and he does learn his lesson and suffer plenty of slapstick for it. But that’s the basic setup,donald follows daisy around while his new wolfy pal eggs him on. Meanwhile the boys get cut off sking by kent, calling him “Lime Slime”, real clever guys, and only agree to help donald get kent away from daisy, in reality Daisy is merley sticking so close to keep kent from running off.. and that’s not an overreaction, kent hilarious trys to sneak off the second he’s out of her sight every time and is so inepet at his job Daisy wants to stick around to make sure he dosen’t cost them the interview, which he probably would honestly. It’s good comedic timing and that coupled with the slapstick and the wolf whose damn funny and reminds me , along with daisy in her ski outfit that yes I am bi bi bi till the day I die. It’s not bad. Wait what were we talking about? oh right the boys.. they mess with kent a bit, it’s okay, it keeps them out of the main plot.  Eventually things esclate as Daisy does find Jean Claude who unlike kent, whose unitrested in Daisy and is a sleazy dope for other reasons, very intrested in Daisy who rebuffs him.. and donald witnsess it and realizes he was a dickhead and a skunk, with helpful visual cue for the latter if sadly not the former. Donald of course ends up crashing into their table and Daisy realizes what was going on, and the boys quickly cover for him as entering the weekends ski race. Because of course there’s a race to end this this was the 90′s and goof troop had already done this so Quack Pack had to do the same.  But we get a somewhat charming moment as Daisy admits she knows donald was just covering by agreeing with the boys, and that what he did was NOT okay.. but she gets why. And to me, at least, I get it was less him not trusting her and more him .. simply thinking he’s not good neough. As seen above the wolf appears during the race to goad him again, but I think he’s less afraid of her genuinely not loving him and more afraid she’ll see he’s not good enough, he his, and leave him. But ..s he won’t. This si daisy at her best, willing to put donald in his place for being a dickhead, but still having genuine chemstiry with him and understanding the dope. It’s why I prefer this daisy to one who treats him like garbage without letting him explain (Cabs) or cheats on him constantly with Gladstone because he has money even though he’s a massive selfish dick and donald’s a decent if flawed guy. (the comics depending on the writer). Admitley Id on’t think she should be as forgiving as she is, but whatever. Donald gets injured during the race,learns his lesson.. and for real this time as the monster, himself banged up, tries to goad donald on when donald’s handsome doctor shows up but donald instead does the old bit with hospital beds where he has the thing collapse on the guy. That’s also whyi ‘m not too hard on him: again he gets punished, but in addition he LEARNS from it and realizes he was a moron and is genuinely sorry.  Overall the episode is pretty good. The bits with the boys are incidentaly and likely there only so their actresses can get a pay day, not that i’m against that, Pamela Aldon has mouths to feed and at least one of her daughters had to be born by then, but otherwise it’s an enjoyable throwback to the older shorts that showcases donald and daisy at their best and has an intresting and well designed, if werdly named, side character. While I joked about the weird choice of green eyed monster, I still loved the character as his smooth talking, flashy design, and great use of metaphor meant he was a delight and i’d love to see the design show up int he reboot for something else.  Overall not a bad time for 20 something minutes and far better than i’d of expected of quack pack in the past. Who knows maybe the rest won’t be so bad.. MAYBE. Until next time , courage. 

[seblos]

there’s not a star in heaven that we can’t reach - ch 6/10

chapter title: and it’s been a long time since someone gave me a shot

word count: 9,344

notes: tw // panic attacks 

[one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight | nine (coming soon)]

read on ao3

Carlos wakes up the following Monday more excited to start the school day than he’s ever been since the first day of freshman year.

Truly, he hasn’t felt this level of nerves mixed with excitement since he first walked into East High. All that day had brought him anyway was the cruel truth that high school isn’t at all like the movies when you’re an outcast.

Today, though. Today had promise. They had been texting and talking all weekend, but neither had been able to find the time to see each other in person before school. If homecoming was just the start of the new chapter in his and Seb’s relationship, then Carlos couldn’t wait to keep reading.

He walks into school with a little bit of a quicker pace than usual, anxious to get to the photoshoot for the cover of their playbill for the show. He wasn’t close to Kourtney or anyone else on the costumes committee, so he hadn’t able to worm anything out of them about the outfits. Whatever Seb was wearing was going to be a total surprise (for both of them) and he couldn’t be more surprised.

However, when Carlos got to the auditorium, he didn’t see Seb or Miss Jenn. In fact, the only person he actually saw was Big Red, who was holding a camera.

“Where is everyone?” Carlos asked him.

“Kourtney is with the rest of costumes and makeup helping everyone get changed, and, uh,” he glances around. “I don’t actually know where Miss Jenn is.”

Huh. “Oh, okay. I’ll go find her, I guess,” he said, turning on his heel back out of the auditorium and down the hall towards Miss Jenn’s office. Maybe she had forgotten?

As he approached the room, he heard voices coming from inside. One was definitely Miss Jenn’s, and the other was… the principal? He tried not to think anything of it before sticking his head through the doorframe.

“Good morning, Miss Jenn!” he said cheerfully, “You coming to the photoshoot?”

She looked surprised to see him, although honestly not more stressed than normal. (That woman seriously needed a spa day or something, she seemed stressed out 90% of the time.)

“You go ahead and get started without me, Carlos,” she told him with a smile.

That got rid of some of Carlos’s nerves, but only replaced them with different ones about being in charge. It never really seemed to go well for him whenever Miss Jenn left him alone with the group. This was just a photoshoot though, not like him trying to run the entire rehearsal without her.

“Okay!” he said, then headed back to the auditorium. Hopefully, he hasn’t missed anyone’s costume reveal yet.

Thankfully, the only person who seemed to be in costume already was Rico (who’s Ryan costume looked suspiciously like a Newsie, but who is he to judge.) Natalie and Kourtney have also made their way onto center stage, which means the rest of the actors are probably coming out at any second.

Carlos gathers the two of them plus Big Red to discuss the plan for the photoshoot Natalie brings out her clipboard, reminding each of them of their roles. It’s honestly a dream to see another student in charge besides just him.

“Okay, that sounds like a plan!” he tells them once Natalie finishes explaining because he still has to take some initiative.

Carlos then watches as the actors begin to file in. He has to applaud them, the costumes are pretty spot on from the movie. Although, Ricky’s wig could use a little bit of work, no matter how hilarious it is to see him look more like Shaggy from Scooby Doo than Troy.

When Seb steps out from the opposite side of the stage, though, all of his attention is on the blonde boy as Carlos has to keep his mouth from dropping open.

He’s wearing a simple pink t-shirt and some acid washed jeans (cuffed, of course) as well as a few bracelets, which are paired holographic sneakers- platform heeled sneakers. They make him a good few inches taller than Carlos (not that he minds, of course.) And not to mention the glittery vest he has over the pink shirt, matching Sharpay’s audition outfit from the movie.

And then the makeup- Carlos doesn’t even know how to begin to describe the eyeshadow, but whatever Kourtney has done is genius. It’s a mix of pinks, oranges, and yellows that covers most of his left eye and stretches out into his hair, which is also matched with a pink stripe. His hair has also been combed upwards in a higher fringe than usual, sprayed in place with glitter hair spray (how he’s going to get that out, Carlos has no idea.) And he’s pretty sure he’s wearing a light shade of pink lipstick.

After a moment, though Carlos realizes that Seb’s eyes are wide, and he isn’t necessarily giving a positive reaction. Even though he wants to run into Seb’s arms right now, he keeps his calm as the boy approaches.

“Hey,” he offers softly. “You okay with this?”

“I don’t know how to say it.”

“Just say it,” Carlos says after a moment, still searching Seb’s face for some sign of a good (or bad) emotion.

Seb is quiet, like he’s trying to find the right words, before his face breaks out in a smile. He leans towards Carlos, softly saying “I’m home.”

Carlos feels that tug in his chest again as he matches Seb’s movement, leaning forward and placing his hands on Seb’s shoulder as the two giggle a bit. He’s so close to the other boy, and they’re both jittery with excitement for the show and to see each other again.

He wants nothing more right now than to drag Seb away with him to behind the curtains and away from the photoshoot. But they do actually have to get this done, and Carlos does have to take charge. He allows Seb to go find as his place and retreats next to Big Red, as everyone begins to get in line.

“Okay guys, we’re gonna get one in for practice, okay?” Big Red calls once everyone is settled and ready to go.

They line up like the original album as he calls “we’re all gonna jump on the count of three, ready?”

Carlos is preparing himself for this to be an easy, one-shot take. Unfortunately, because it's this cast, he quickly realizes it’s not going to be that simple as Big Red counts up to the first photo. Half of them jump on 2, some jump on 3, and he’s pretty sure Nini and EJ don’t even jump until after Big Red finishes counting. Not to mention Kourtney was still adjusting EJ’s costume, resulting in her running in front of the camera.

“One, two, three!” Red tries again, although it still seems to end with the same result, as well as the “L” in “musical” on the sign behind them falling off.

How the heck did they do this in the movies?

“Wait, what happened?” Big Red asks.

Ricky sighs. “Where to begin?”

“I think you went early,” Seb tells him.

Gina looks between them before turning to Red and asking “are we jumping on three or after three?”

“Yeah, the count of three. Ready?” Red tells her.

Ricky shakes his head. “Nah, man, you need some new words.”

Meanwhile, Seb is leaning down to massage his ankle. “I think I broke a heel!” he tells them. (In hindsight, it probably wasn’t their best idea to have him jump while wearing platform shoes.)

“You guys, this isn’t that hard,” Carlos sighs. He can already feel a headache coming on. “You smile, you leave the earth, you land!”

“It’s a little hard to smile when we don’t even know the plan,” Ricky tells him, and okay, that stung a little bit. He desperately wants Miss Jenn to magically show up to fix all this.

“I can’t look at Ricky, is that a problem?” Nini asks, and obviously, it’s a joke, but Carlos’s head is pounding. He just wants everything to work for once. His excited mood from the morning has already disappeared.

He sighs while the others laugh at what Nini says. “Okay, let's take a five,” he says, although more for himself than anyone else.

“On five or after five?” Ricky asks, walking off. Even though it’s a joke, his tone is a lot less playful than Nini’s.

“I think he’s mad at us,” Seb says softly, less confident than before as he glances over at Carlos. He honestly can’t tell if Seb is joking too or if he’s genuinely concerned about Ricky being mad. (Knowing Seb, it could really go either way.)

Everyone had already begun to disperse after Ricky walked off, but Seb takes a moment before he makes his way over to Carlos after the break is called.

“Hey,” he says as he approaches, the same soft tone that he had used with the comment about Ricky. “Are you okay?”

Carlos lets out a long sigh, closing his eyes and tilting his head back. “Honestly it feels like the entire world has been put on my shoulders,” he says, letting them drop. “Or, at least, the East High theatre world.”

Seb grabs his hands (thank god Ashlyn isn’t here.) “It’s just a photoshoot,” he says.

Coming from anyone else it would have made Carlos feel stupid and belittled, but because it’s Seb… well, like he’s said before. Seb never makes him feel anything like that.

“I know, I just,” he trails off. He doesn’t even know why he feels this way. It’s like something inside his body refuses to let him relax over this. “Nobody listens to me, and I don’t know where Miss Jenn is, and I don’t know what to do anymore.”

“They were just making jokes, though. It wasn’t anything against you,” Seb furrows his eyebrows.

He sighs again. “I know, it’s more than that though. Like, in rehearsals too. Nobody has any respect for me, which, whatever, but it’s hard to get stuff done, y’know?” He doesn’t know how to explain it well, and he’s really hoping his venting doesn’t upset Seb.

Thankfully, Seb doesn’t seem too affected by it. Instead, he just squeezes Carlos’s hands softly. “They still respect you, Los. We still respect you.”

Carlos just responds with a soft “okay” because, honestly, he doesn’t totally believe Seb. Everyone treats him like he’s the nicest, most wonderful person in the world. Truly, he is, so Carlos shouldn’t compare. But it’s hard when at the same time they all act like Carlos is just there as Miss Jenn’s more annoying and underqualified assistant.

It definitely wasn’t the Monday morning he was hoping for it to be an hour ago.

“Hey, Seb, can you come help?” Red calls a second later, as he attempts to set up a ladder to fix the “L.”

“I’m gonna-”

“Yeah, go,” Carlos tells him. “I’ll go round up everyone; we should probably get back to the photoshoot.”

He doesn’t really want to leave Seb’s side, (and he should really be the one helping with the ladder, because, come on, three points of contact Seb! If Red wanted him though, he would have asked for him, not Seb.) Unfortunately, though, he Gina and EJ in a pretty heated conversation off to the side, and he’s not sure if it’s going to end anytime soon.

“Guys?” he says cautiously as he approaches.

They both ignore him, of course.

EJ continues the conversation instead. “So, do you care about Ricky?”

“And what if I do?”

“Um, guys?” Carlos says again. He really didn’t need (or want) to hear this conversation. He just needs to get them back to finish the photoshoot, and then they can hash out whatever this is.

“Not now!” they tell him at the same time. Immediately, he ducks his head and walks out. On a normal day, it wouldn’t even get a reaction from him, but it’s just the irony of the situation. Whatever Seb thought he saw in the other students was wrong, and unsurprisingly so.

By the time he gets out into the hallway, his throat is tight and his entire face is on fire. Carlos has to force himself to take a few calming breaths, reminding himself that it’s not personal and he’s just having a bad morning.

Once he’s calm again, he pulls out his phone and dials Miss Jenn’s number. She picks up on the very last ring.

“Miss Jenn, I don’t think I can stall much longer,” he says as he makes his way down the hallway, trying to keep his voice level. “Are you coming?”

“Carlos, I was just about to call you!” she responds. It sounds promising, but the tightness in her voice tells him otherwise.

“Is everything okay?”

“Everything’s fine, except that I may be out of a job in 24 hours.”

Okay, great, time to panic. “Miss Jenn, I can’t see your face, so I don’t know if you’re kidding- oh my god!” Carlos says as she approaches with a box under her arm. He can easily recognize the contents of her office in it after weeks of meetings together and eating lunch in the room.

Okay, time to really panic.

“Keep your voice down, honey,” she whispers as she slides her phone into the box.

“What happened?” he asks, definitely not keeping his voice down.

“Carlos, I may have exaggerated one or two credits on my resume,” Miss Jenn explains. “Principal Gutierrez is a little too literal for my taste, but here we are.”

“Where’s ‘here’?”

She ignores him, (what else is new,) and instead continues. “The important thing is you keep this train on the tracks. Hopefully, everything will be cleared up when I sit before the school board tomorrow, okay?”

“Wait, what?” No, not okay.  

“Keep rehearsal on after school today and don’t speak a word of this to anyone,” her voice lowers even more, as she glances around in case of any roaming theatre kids. “In the theater, morale is everything.”

Before Carlos can say anything else, there are footsteps behind them as Principal Gutierrez approaches.

“Miss Jenn, if you would,” he says, gesturing down the hallway. She ducks her head, turning to exit the school.

“Miss Jenn, wait!” he calls after her. How was he supposed to take charge of an entire rehearsal if he couldn’t even correctly take charge of a photoshoot?

She turns back around for a moment to face Carlos. “Trust the process,” she tells him with a reassuring smile, although he doesn’t feel reassured at all.

With that, she turns on her heel again, leaving Carlos lost and confused in the middle of the hallway.

As if on cue from sensing his negative mood, his phone dings in his back project with a text notification from Seb.

From: Seb Matthew-Smith: are you okay :( ?? we just finished the photoshoot... big red and natalie took over after you ran out.

Carlos pockets his phone without answering.

—

He feels bad for ignoring Seb all day, he really does.

He wasn’t totally giving him the silent treatment of course. And he appreciates that Seb feels like he has to care enough to ask Carlos if he’s okay during lunch, and again during chem, but it’s hard to lie to him.

He wants more than anything to vent to Seb because he knows the blonde is too polite to tell him to stop. Miss Jenn had specifically told him not to tell anyone, which meant that he either had to lie or stop answering Seb’s questions.

Carlos was able to redirect the conversation during lunch, changing the topic from how he was feeling to discussing the school’s vegetarian options (or lack thereof) with Seb. Then during chem, he just acted like he really needed to learn how to convert grams to moles which involved ignoring Seb. Saying nothing was easier than both lying and telling the truth since technically he wasn’t doing either.

Seb seemed to back off a little after that, thankfully, although Carlos was hoping he wasn’t getting the wrong idea. Geez, why did this have to be so complicated?

Eventually, after an entire day of hoping that the last bell would never ring or some freak storm would hit SLC so they wouldn't be able to put on rehearsal, Carlos is forced to make the dreaded walk down the hallway to the bomb shelter. He can feel his phone in his backpack vibrating with one last text notification from Seb, probably asking where Carlos is, but he ignores it once more.

He stops at Miss Jenn’s office, hoping that by some miracle she had returned. Instead, he was just met with an empty room with only the desk and chairs remaining, ridden of everything inside that gave it it’s personality.

Carlos ends up getting to the bomb shelter about 5 minutes after they’re meant to start. Everyone is already antsy as they await instruction, which is not the best energy for him to start with. He pretends not to see Seb by the piano with Nini as he walks in. They’re probably talking about him.

Even with every bone in his body telling him to turn around and walk out of the school, he pushes forward and begins rehearsal.

“Okay, people!” he announces, faking a laugh as he tries (and fails) to capture Miss Jenn’s energy. “Let’s stage a number! I’m late!”

“Is Miss Jenn coming?” Nini asks.

So much for pretending not to see them. “Miss Jenn had a small personal matter to attend to and won’t be here today,” Carlos tries to explain as vaguely as possible.

“Oh. Is everything alright?”

“Good question,” Seb adds.

“Everything is fine,” Carlos forces a smile. “Why would you guys even ask that?”

He turns to grab his binder. More than anything, he wants to scream with his entire body that no, nothing is alright, but for Miss Jenn’s sake, he just keeps going. That’s showbiz, baby.

Of course, today is the day that he’s supposed to stage the boldest concept of the show. He came up with it when he was watching the movie, and it kind of mirrors it in a way he thinks is clever. Part of him knows that the idea sells itself when people realize that, but another part of him is already preparing for backlash.

“Okay, Gabriella, I need you downstage on this mark,” Carlos says, grabbing Nini’s hands and pulling her in front of the boxes he had Red set up. He could feel her hesitancy, but he ignored it as he continued. “Troy, stage right, Chad, stage left box. Other boys find a box” he instructed.

It was admittedly kind of fun to direct them around and see his concept come to life. Plus, nobody had said anything yet. Maybe this would work out.

That feeling lasted for about a few seconds, though, as Nini’s voice cut in right when he was ready to start.

“Uh, are they going to be on stage with me while I’m singing?”

“Yes,” Carlos says, turning to face her. “They will be frozen in various poses to come as the ballad builds. Nini, you will be wandering through a forest of boys,” he explains. It actually gives him a little more confidence in the concept in doing so, reassuring him that maybe his idea wasn’t as overly bold as he originally thought.

“Wait, what? What does that mean?” she asks.

Or, maybe not.

“Do you know what a forest of trees looks like?” he asks.

“I do,” Nini says, raising her eyebrows, and Carlos curses at himself internally. He was trying to make it sound dumb so she would stop asking questions, but now he feels dumb.

“Okay, but with boys,” he says, trying to shake the feeling.

Nini laughs, but there's no humor behind it. “I’m sorry, why?”

“Because your heart has just been shattered, and you can’t stop thinking about how amazing Troy is,” he explains, refusing to let his voice shake. His heart is already beating quicker then normal, and if anyone else questions him, Carlos might break.

He turns and points at Seb (whose expression has remained blank.) “Let’s go.”

Seb spins on the piano bench and starts playing the beginning of the ballad, and Carlos lets out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. The sooner they start this rehearsal from hell, the sooner they can end it.

Until Nini’s voice cuts through again.

“Ah, I’m sorry, but at this point in the show Troy just sold me out to his teammates,” she says.

Carlos wants to reply with “yes, I watched the movie too, and probably more than you have. The song is about him and how she can’t stop thinking about him even when she’s angry.” Before he can get a word out, though, Ashlyn adds on.

“She’s got a point. What Troy did was kind of unforgivable,” she agrees. “Respectfully, Carlos, I think the last thing anyone wants in this moment is four more versions of him.”

(It hurts to hear that coming from Ashlyn of all people, who was one of the only people he really considered a friend. Is it still respectful if she’s totally dissing his idea? Where is Gina’s input when he needs it?)

“Maybe she can chop down the trees,” Natalie says.

“Or, what if she’s surrounded by a forest of loving and supportive sisters?” Kourtney suggests, which immediately gets more positive feedback than any of Carlos’s choreography ideas. Hearing everyone critique one of the only parts of the show Miss Jenn allowed him to block by himself feels like a stake through his heart.

His chest is tight, his breathing is getting more rapid, and he’s rubbing his hands together to stop them from sweating and trembling too much. If Miss Jenn was here, this wouldn’t happen, right? Or is he not qualified enough to be a choreographer, much less a director.

Carlos doesn’t know which option hurts more.

“Is it better if she just does a solo acoustic version?” Ricky calls out.

No, no, no!

He’s definitely getting more upset now, which leads to him getting more panicked.

He hears Gina say “I vote for that!” which is his last bit of hope for some defense going down the drain — Seb is still sitting at the piano, looking confused and overwhelmed at everything, clearly not making any move to defend Carlos either.

All the anger, and sadness, and unworthiness, and every other negative emotion are welling up inside him, and Carlos can’t hold it in anymore.

So, he snaps.

“Okay, you guys! This is not a democracy!” he yells, and immediately the room goes quiet. He feels his face heat up as people exchange looks of surprise mixed with offense, which doesn’t feel fair. It’s not like the entire cast was ganging up on them.  

“Carlos, are you okay?” Nini asks.

(Always the first to speak. Always the first to defend herself, and push away Carlos in doing so. Why don’t people listen to him like they do to her? Because she’s older? Because she’s the lead? Because everyone loves her? Because she’s not the 15 year old Mexican gay kid who will always be an outsider and is just trying his best?)

(Maybe Mr. Mazzara had a point...)

“‘Cuz it’s not that deep. We can just come back when Miss Jenn gets here,” she continues, and Carlos wants to roll his eyes and cry at the same time. If it’s not that deep, why don’t they just go along with it? And what part about “small, personal matter to attend to and won’t be here today” do they not get?

It’s all too much, and Carlos is at his breaking point.

“Well, she’s not here, and I don’t know if she’s ever coming back,” Carlos says before he can stop himself.

Once again, everyone goes quiet as the energy in the room shifts.

“Wait, what?” Ricky asks.

“Is this a joke?” Ashlyn adds on. (Carlos could only wish.)

He has the attention of the room now, though, and he knows there's no way he’s getting out of this without telling them the whole story.

“She’s in deep trouble, you guys,” he says, closing his eyes, although not before seeing people stand up and crossing their arms, expressions demanding an explanation.

“They’re saying that she lied on her job application, and there’s a school board meeting in less than 24 hours, and she’s probably going to lose her job,” he explains, opening his eyes but avoiding contact.

“I was supposed to tell any of you, but,” he pauses, struggling how to put this nicely without totally breaking down. “I am trying to do my best here,” his voice comes out hard and unforgiving. He already broke his promise with Miss Jenn, what else do they want from him?

Nini’s the first to speak, again. “I can’t believe it,” she says quietly, going to sit next to a surprised Seb.

“What are we even doing in rehearsal?” EJ asks.

“Wait, how can we have a show if we don’t have a teacher?” Ashlyn cuts in.

Seb leans forward off the piano bench, speaking for the first time since the beginning of this mess. “You know you could have told me,” he says. He’s searching Carlos’s face with worry written across his own.

That clears the red in front of Carlos’s eyes for a moment. Even when he’s upset, at least he has Seb to ground him.

“Miss Jenn asked me not to,” he tells Seb softly, hinting at an apology in his voice.

“Wow, Carlos, what else are you not telling us?” Ej asks, reminding Carlos that he can’t win. He tries to help and do what he’s told, and they get upset. He explains what’s going on, and they blame him for it.

He wants Miss Jenn back, too, (arguably more than anyone else,) but how is he supposed to fix that on his own?

“Hey, let’s all breathe for a second,” Ashlyn says, only for Natalie to cut her off.

“Do you want to be in charge?” she asks.

“She didn’t say that,” Kourtney defends.

All the arguing makes Carlos want to yell again, but whenever he goes to open his mouth, the words get caught in his throat, and someone else talks over him.

“You know what?” Nini asks, standing up and grabbing her backpack. “I, um, I need a minute,” she says, slinging the bag over her shoulder and walking out of the bomb shelter.

“Right there with you,” Kourtney follows, twirling her finger as if to round up everyone in the room.

“Honestly, same,” Ashlyn says, and Carlos can feel her unenthusiasm and discontent digging into his skin.

He can hear Gina saying “wait” over and over again as Natalie calls “guys, wait!” There’s no use, though, and after a moment they pick up their bags as well. Even Seb rushes to pack up his music folder.

And Carlos can’t do anything but stand there and watch as his world crumbles.

“I’m sorry, Carlos,” Natalie tells him as she walks out.

“Rehearsals are officially canceled until further notice,” he finally calls out after them, before throwing his hands up and exiting out the back entrance of the room.

He gets all the way to the parking lot until he realizes he left his backpack in the bomb shelter.

Carlos walks back in, but when he gets to the room, he finds Gina and Ricky still inside.

He wants nothing more than to just get his backpack and start walking home, (Seb usually drives him on Mondays since his mom works late, which was another thing Carlos had been looking forward to today, but it seems he already left,) but he really doesn’t want to interact with them right now. Instead, he hangs around outside the room, leaning against a wall as he waits for them to finish.

Just when he’s contemplating sucking it up and walking into the room (we get it, Ricky, you can sing and play guitar and everybody is in love with you,) he sees a familiar face headed his way, and decides to strike up a conversation.

“Benjamin Mazzara,” he calls out, stopping the STEM teacher in his tracks. He must have been stepping out to get something for the robotics team because he’s clutching a robot in his hand and seems eager to not be interrupted.  

Too late.  

Mr. Mazzara looks surprised to see Carlos actually addressing him to his face after always ducking his head every time the teacher passes. “Carlos…. Surname.”

(Carlos has been in his class for two years, and he’s pretty sure he’s the only Rodriguez in their entire school. How hard is it for him to remember?)

“I assume you know what’s happening to Miss Jenn?” he confronts.

Mr. Mazzara starts walking away as he talks, and Carlos follows. “I may have heard a rumor in the faculty lounge.”

“And I assume you’re happy?”

“Not on the outside.” Carlos has to try to not roll his eyes when the teacher says that. Alright, angst king.

“Look, everyone has fudged on a resume before,” he says. That’s practically what a resume is.

“I haven’t,” Mr. Mazzara points out, and this time Carlos can’t help it when his eyes roll.

“The real question is, who narked on Miss Jenn.”

“Wait,” Mr. Mazzara stops at the end of the hallway, turning to face Carlos, his eyebrows raised. “Are you suggesting I had something to do with this?”

“Are you admitting that you did?” Carlos presses.

“Of course not.” Yeah, right. As if he hasn’t had it out for both of them since day one.  

“Look, kid,” he continues. “Has it occurred to you that Miss Jenn is responsible for her own untimely demise?”

With that, he turns on his heel and continues down the hall, leaving Carlos planted in place, dumbfounded for the second time today. Seriously, does that guy ever speak like a normal person?

He wants to follow Mr. Mazzara and bug him more, but he can hear Ashlyn and EJ’s voices coming from that hallway. Instead, he retreats back to the bomb shelter.

Thankfully, Gina and Ricky are gone by the time Carlos reaches it, judging by the absence of Ricky’s guitar that was previously reverberating throughout the surrounding halls.

Carlos walks through the door, ready to grab his backpack before starting his walk home, and is instead greeted with Seb staring sadly at the piano.

“I thought you went home already,” Carlos says as he enters, and Seb’s head snaps up in surprise.

“I thought you did too,” he says hesitantly, although he seems relieved to see Carlos.

Carlos points at his forgotten bag. “I left my backpack in here.”

“Same with my jacket,” Seb says, holding up the article of clothing in question. “And, uh, I was hoping you would come back, which you did.” He glances nervously at Carlos. “I was supposed to drive you home.”

“Right,” Carlos nods. It’s quiet for a few moments, and Carlos really wants to just bolt. He’s blown off Seb too many times today already, though.

Thankfully, Seb breaks the silence. “I am so, so sorry about not defending you in rehearsal,” he bursts out. “It all happened so quick, and I couldn’t keep up or find a good place to cut in, and I could see you getting more stressed. You’re probably angry and don’t want these excuses, but-”

“Seb,” Carlos cuts him off. “You’re okay.”

Yeah, rehearsal sucked, and there’s a weight in his stomach with everyone’s comments and with about what’s going to go down now that everyone left, but he knows he’s probably better off with Seb supporting him through it rather than holding an unnecessary grudge.

“So, rehearsal today...” Seb trails, as if he’s reading Carlos’s brain. “Kinda intense.”

“Yeah, well, it’s not every day the entire cast of your dream show gangs up on you,” he says, voice dripping with sarcasm.

“They didn’t mean-”

“Yeah, I’m sure they didn’t mean it like that, but it still hurts,” Carlos cuts him off. “Still think they respect me?”

Seb is quiet, clearly taken aback, and Carlos realizes he’s never shown Seb this side of him. The part of him that’s dark and scary and upset all the time. The part of him that keeps him up at night, wondering what went wrong in the day and how he could fix it. The part of him that he pushes away so he doesn’t push people away just like he’s doing right now.

The part of him that never feels good enough.

It’s out, he can see it, and he knows Seb can too. It’s terrifying to be this vulnerable. Seb hasn’t left yet, though, which means it can’t be too terrifying.

“I’m sorry. I’m not mad at you, I promise. Usually, people leave after I start venting so I guess once I started and you were still here I couldn’t stop,” Carlos explains as he goes to sit at the piano bench. Thankfully, Seb’s features soften, and he crosses to the other side of the piano and stands next to him.

“I’m just… mad at everything,” he continues, slumping over. “And I’m tired of Miss Jenn just leaving at the drop of a hat and expecting me to be able to just take over when nobody listens to me.”

Seb doesn’t stay anything, but he inches closer to him until his torso is pressing into Carlos. He feels an arm wrap around his shoulders. It doesn’t make sense for a moment because Seb is just casually touchy with everyone, but then...

Oh.

Carlos sinks down even more, but this time it’s into the hug. It’s not even a full hug, more like Seb pressing his body against Carlos while he just sits there, but it’s the most physically intimate thing he’s received in a long time.

Somehow, the comfort does more than any words could in the moment. It doesn’t immediately wash away all his worries like his presence at homecoming, but it’s enough for now, and more than enough for Carlos.

Seb drops his arm after a moment, but he doesn’t leave Carlos’s side. He looks up at the blonde boy, who looks like he wants to say something.

But before he can speak, Carlos’s phone vibrates in his pocket. He pulls it out, and when he sees Miss Jenn’s contact as the notification, he quickly retreats from Seb’s side to read it.

“Is everything okay?” Seb asks as Carlos scrolls through the notification.

“I think so?” he says, switching off his phone and going to grab his phone. “Miss Jenn wants me to meet her at the cafe down the street. She says she has something for me… how am I supposed to interpret that?”

“Maybe it’s good news?”

“I can only hope,” Carlos laughs shortly.

“Do you want a ride? Georgie is on her way-”

Carlos wants to accept— any excuse to hang out with Seb — but it’s really not that far of a walk, and he wants to get there as soon as possible. “It’s alright, I can walk. Thank you though,” he says smiling at Seb, who seems to take it as an acceptable answer and returns the smile softly.

He's about to exit when a “Carlos!” is called. He turns to face the boy again, who’s holding Carlos’s jacket in his hand.

“You, uh- you forgot your jacket,” he says holding up the discarded item of clothing.

He smiles again, walking back over. When he goes to take the jacket, though, Seb pulls him into another hug.

“Good luck!” he says, squeezing Carlos tight before letting him go and holding out the jacket for real this time

“Thank you,” Carlos says, and he doesn’t know if he’s thanking Seb for the jacket or the hug, but either works.

It takes a lot to turn and walk out the doors of the school and towards the cafe rather than run back into Seb’s arms, but he manages to make it to the store. He doesn’t even realize he’s blowing Seb off again until he arrives, but the guilt hits him fast when he realizes he never apologized. Before he steps inside, he pulls out his phone and shoots the boy a quick text.

From: Carlos Rodriguez: so sorry about ignoring your texts today. i appreciated them, just wasnt in the headspace to answer today with everything

From: Carlos Rodriguez: i owe you a coffee or something to make it up to you :)

He doesn’t think about how flirty it sounds or the fact that he practically asked Seb on a date until it’s sent, but it’s too late now. (Besides, they’re past that point, right?) He wishes he could do more, honestly, but he has to talk to Miss Jenn before he can face Seb again.

When Carlos walks inside, he sees her sitting at a table. All mushy feelings are immediately forgotten as he runs over to greet the drama teacher.

“Miss Jenn! I was so happy to hear from you!” he says. She smiles and stands up to hug him (what is up with everybody and the hugs today?) which is hopefully a good sign.

“You said you’ve got something for me. Tell me it’s good news,” he begs, and immediately her energy switches.

“It’s complicated,” she says, putting her hands on his shoulders and directing him to the chair. “Please sit.” As he does, he notices the newspaper spread out where she’s circled what looks like job openings. Okay, not a good sign after all.

“Carlos,” she starts, and he can already feel his heart sinking. “If tomorrow’s board meeting goes the way I think it will, you guys are going to hear a lot of… not great things about me.”

“No, we don’t-” he starts to defend, but she cuts him off.

“It’s all true.”

Carlos furrows his eyebrows. “What is?”

“I never told you guys my real last name because I was embarrassed at how little I’ve actually accomplished,” she says, voice breaking.

Carlos just sits there in silence, still confused and still with a tight chest. It feels the same way he felt when he realized Santa wasn’t real, like the world has suddenly decided he’s old enough to know it’s ugly truth. (And maybe he is old enough, but he’s never going to feel ready.)

“I’m a fake teacher, Carlos,” she admits, voice breaking. “Most of the learning that’s been happening in that rehearsal room… has been all of you teaching me.”

He scoffs in disbelief. “No, that’s not true,” he tells her. She’s already taught him more than any real teacher ever has, how can she be fake?

“It’s the only part of this that ever was,” she tells him, and that seals the deal. Carlos feels like his entire world is falling down around him for the second time that day.

He opens his mouth to say something, but no words come out. All he can do is shake his head in disbelief. This cannot actually be happening, right? If his high expectations for the day haven’t already been thrown out the window, they’ve been run over in the middle of a highway at this point

Instead, Miss Jenn reaches down next to her and pulls out what looks like a bright red safe at first. At closer inspection, it’s more of a heavy-duty carry-on file box.

“Here,” she says, pushing it towards Carlos. “It’s my director's file. Audition notes, staging ideas, everything. It’s all there.”

“But I can’t direct the show,” he tells her quickly. He would love to try it, sure, and he kind of loves that Miss Jenn thinks he can.

But running rehearsal for a day is one thing, and judging by the cast’s reaction, there’s no way they would last more than 5 minutes with Carlos being in charge of more than just one set of blocking.

“Oh, it’s not for you, honey,” she shakes her head, which makes sense he guesses. “It’s for your next drama teacher.”

She stands up to leave, as Carlos struggles to form words. She pauses to linger by him for a moment longer.

“I just hope she loves you guys half as much as I do,” she says finally, placing her hand on Carlos’s shoulder.

Then she’s gone, leaving Carlos to sit there with the director’s file and wondering how it could have possibly gotten this bad. The person he looked up to most in the world, one of two people who saved him this year, is not even close to everything he thought she was. So what is he supposed to do now? Just accept reality and move on?

Carlos isn’t very good at moving on...

He realizes something, though, after his mom picks him up and they’re driving home. Even if Miss Jenn is a fake teacher, it doesn’t mean she didn’t teach Carlos things. And now he has to save her in return.

He just doesn’t know how yet.

—

Carlos is still struggling that night on how to help Miss Jenn when Seb texts him. They had been texting back and forth ever since he got back home and was able to check Seb’s response to his apology. (It was sweet, almost flustered, and it left Carlos feeling a little bit warmer after everything. When his mom asked, he blamed his flushed cheeks on the November chill.)

From: Seb Matthew-Smith: ashlyn invited us to red’s house to talk about some stuff. do you want a ride over?

He wants to ask why didn’t Ashlyn just text him? but he presumes it must have been sent to a cast-only group chat (still sucks, but understandable.) He checks just in case, though.

From: Carlos Rodriguez: did the invite extend to me or are you inviting me?

From: Seb Matthew-Smith: obviously youre supposed to come. youre just as important as everyone else in the show, if not more. we couldnt do it without you :)

From: Seb Matthew-Smith: and no, im not just saying that because i like you

Well, Carlos doesn’t know how to function after that last text anyway (or how to interpret it), so he accepts the ride invitation. About half an hour later, a familiar car pulls up in front of his house.

He says goodbye to his mom and promises to text her before going outside and climbing into the car just like it’s a normal post-rehearsal trip. Except instead of going to his house, he’s leaving.

Georgie is sat in the driver's seat as always (he wonders what Seb must be bribing her with to get her to drive him everywhere,) and Seb is in the passenger seat. At least their matching smiles are able to calm the knot in his stomach a bit.

The drive over to Red’s house is a different energy than their usual drives home, with the radio playing quietly and Georgie’s casual chatter about nothing to break the silence. Maybe because it’s dark out, or maybe because Carlos can feel the nervous energy from both Seb and himself, but either way, they arrive after a few minutes.

As Seb is letting Carlos out of the car, he can see Ashlyn and EJ over Seb’s shoulder, already following Kaden, Rico, and Steph into the house. Kourtney and Nini are walking up to the door as well, and more cars are pulling up, and wow, Carlos hopes Big Red knows they’re all coming.

Carlos follows Seb down the steps as they make their way into Big Red’s basement. He inevitably finds himself perched on the edge of the couch next to Seb, who has his knees drawn up to his chin as everyone finds their place in the room.

Everyone is completely silent as they all glance at each other— except for EJ, who’s staring at his phone — and Carlos avoids eye contact by keeping his eyes locked on the boy next to him (not that he minds.) The energy is definitely tenser now that they’re all together again, but at least he has Seb by his side this time.

“This is a terrible party. They aren't even pretzels,” Natalie breaks the silence from where she’s standing next to EJ.

(She’s got a point, although Carlos wouldn’t exactly call this a ‘party’.)

(Not that he would know, he’s never been to one.)

“What are we all doing here?” she continues.

Ashlyn sighs. “We all ended up in the same basement after a really bad day, so someone should say something.”

Carlos almost laughs. Yeah, bad day. You could say that again. Instead, though, he speaks, somehow finding his words for what feels like the first time all day.

“Fine. I’ll say something,” he bursts out, and he can see Seb and a few others looking at him in surprise, but he presses on. “I’m mad at Miss Jenn.”

“Why?” Gina scoffs. “Because she’s got a couple skeletons in her closet?”

God, no. Carlos is the last person to judge that.

“No,” he explains. “Because she’s giving up. She was the first teacher to not see me as a punchline, and now she’s not even a real teacher?”

“Define ‘real teacher’?” Ashlyn cuts in.

“He’s got a point,” Kourtney says.

Natalie shakes her head. “Does he, though?”

“Guys,” Red says, and Carlos is thankful that he’s at least trying to not have this afternoon happen all over again. He’s had enough disagreement and disappointment in just one day to last a lifetime.

Natalie presses on, though. “So, why are we all here then?” Next to him, Carlos feels Seb tense up

“Yeah, good question,” EJ adds, rolling his eyes. “This is a waste of time.”

And maybe this is, and maybe it’s the end and they have no idea yet, but Carlos is going to do everything he can to have that not happen. They’ve put in so much work, and they still have too much work to do before this can be the end.

“Honestly? Because she gave me a shot,” Carlos admits, and he can feel the words coming from somewhere deep in his body. “And it’s been a long time since someone gave me a shot.”

“Yeah,” Seb says quietly, voice breaking the tiniest bit as he slides his hand up to Carlos’s knee. Even in this depressing environment, he feels electric currents running through his body from where Seb’s skin meets his, and the soft “yeah” goes straight to his heart, making it beat quicker than normal.

Even in drama-teacher’s-career threatening situations, he’s a wreck.

“She gave me a voice,” Nini adds, and a few people nod along.

Kourtney crosses her arms. “Yeah, and now nobody’s gonna get to hear it because Miss Jenn screwed up.”

“Okay, does anyone actually care if her past is… a little bit sketchy?” Ashlyn asks. “Anyone?”

Ricky sighs. “I do.”

“Seriously, dude?” Big Red asks. (Carlos wonders if there’s something Red knows that no one else does about Ricky, but now isn’t the time to ask, so he keeps his mouth shut.)

“What, because you live some perfect life?” Kourtney adds.

“Not at all,” he defends, standing up. “Because she put our show in jeopardy. And now we’re all here, maybe for the last time together. And for some of us, this has become… I don’t know…” he trails off, struggling to find the words.

“Family,” Nini finishes for them.

Carlos can hear both their voices breaking, and he swallows thickly. Ricky was the last person he expected to feel so connected to the show and the cast, and if he can… well, Carlos has been working for this forever. Whether or not the cast accepts him as part of the group, for this to work out, he needs to accept them as part of his group.

“What team?” Ricky asks.

And Carlos seals his fate as he softly replies “Wildcats,” along with everyone else.

“Okay wildcats,” Ashlyn says. “So what are we doing about it?”

—

Later that night, (or technically, early morning,) Nini ends up offering both Seb and Carlos a ride home along with her and Kourtney, and they both accept. He had texted his mom a while ago when they first realized they were going to be there longer than expected, and he didn’t want to wake her up now.

Going in Nini’s car did make him a bit nervous still after the events of rehearsal. Everyone had seemed to move past it already, but Carlos was still caught up on it for some reason.

He pushed it aside, though, as he got into Nini’s car. She had actually been the one to suggest Carlos choreograph the dance with the help of Gina and Big Red, and the entire forest of boys incident seemed to drop from her mind, so he went along with it.

Now Seb and Carlos were in the backseat of Nini’s mom’s minivan, sitting closer than probably necessary with Seb’s head on his shoulder as they tiredly discuss the events of the night. Seb had been assisting Nini and Ashlyn in writing the song, so the two had been separated for most of the night until now.

“Y’know,” Seb says between a yawn as he reaches out to play with Carlos’s fingers. “You don’t have to tell me all of Miss Jenn's secrets, but you don’t keep it a secret from me if you need to confide in someone,” he says softly, so only Carlos can hear over the rumble of the car.

“Okay,” he agrees, because he’s too tired to think and he still doesn’t know how to interpret Seb’s text from earlier, but he’s willing to take whatever this is for the next few moments that he’s got it.

Reaching Carlos’s house feels the same way he did during the last few minutes of homecoming, like he just wants this feeling and this moment of safety to last forever. He does need to get at least a few hours of sleep before tomorrow, though, and in order to do that, he, unfortunately, has to leave Seb’s side.

Seb lifts his head when he feels them stop in Carlos’s driveway. In one swift movement, he brings the hand that he had been playing with to his lips, kissing Carlos’s knuckles softly. It sends shockwaves through his body, and if the car door was open, he probably would have fallen out.

“Goodnight, Los,” he says, and yawns again, and Carlos smiles.

“Goodnight, Seb. See you tomorrow,” he tells him, climbing out of the car, and walking straight into his house and into bed. He can shower in the morning, he just needs to sleep now and think later.

Hopefully, this works out…

—

The plan doesn’t really process in Carlos’s head until he’s sat next to Seb again at the board meeting. (Definitely unintentional blocking that they’re sitting next to each other, it just worked out that way.)

His entire day had been slowly dragging up to this moment, and any minute Kourtney would cut through with the song and they would jump up and start singing and dancing and hopefully pull this off.

Mr. Bowen had just finished speaking (turns out Carlos wasn’t the only one shocked by Ricky’s dedication to their cast), and Principal Gutierrez was now addressing his concern.

“Mr. Bowen, I appreciate your statement, but I think we can all agree that theater isn’t unique in this regard,” he sighs, and Carlos has to fight the urge to stand up and disagree with him.

Give it a moment…

“It doesn’t have some special fairy dust that can’t be filled by another extracurricular,” Principal Gutierrez finishes. Carlos is ready to stand up and contest himself by this point, but before he can, a loud hum cuts through the room.

Just in time, Kourtney.

As Principal Gutierrez frantically tries to find the source of the humming, the cast joins in as they all stand up together. Next to him, Seb gives him a smile before they launch into the song.

Don't say another word

Some of us need to be heard

You want her big confession

She never saw Dear Evan Hansen

Whatever you think about her

The show can't go on without her

And by some magic mixed with sheer force of will, they pull it off. Everyone comes in on time with their lines (they even gave Carlos one, which he thinks was Seb’s doing), and everyone dances around each other without running into each other.

The vocals and the choreographer is flawless, and he can see smiles on the faces of the parents growing as they perform. Even Miss Jenn goes along with it as Carlos grabs her hand and brings her to the front, her eyes twinkling as she watches her students. She doesn’t say anything, but he can practically hear what she’s thinking.

Now this, this is theatre.

It’s not a long song, the most they could write in their late night session, and just enough to get the point across. Before he knows it, he’s shooting Seb one last smile as they group together for the final verse.

She stands for truth, justice, and songs in our key

Jazz squares in the choreography

Sharpay and Ryan, you know they'd agree

She stands for us and we believe

She stands for us and we believe

They end the song with their hands out and jazzing surrounding Miss Jenn. It’s silent for a moment except for their heavy breathing, before Carlos hears clapping, and then more.

He turns to find every parent giving them a standing ovation, and it feels like the biggest weight in the world is lifted off of his shoulders. Over 24 hours of stressing and hard work and near panic attacks, and they pulled it off.

As Principal Gutierrez finalizes the decision to keep the show on by some miracle, everyone cheers, and Carlos finds himself hugging just about everyone in the cast. It’s like the complete opposite feeling of yesterday in rehearsal. He was at what felt like rock bottom, and now he’s on top of the world.

“How did you do this?” Miss Jenn asks as she approaches him, her voice thick with emotion.

“We stayed up all night,” Carlos tells her, laughing slightly. It’s surreal, in a way.

Miss Jenn looks like she’s on the verge of tears— which makes sense, they did just save her job— and she pulls him into a hug.

“Thank you,” she tells him when she pulls away, half shaking him as she does so.

Once she lets go, Carlos is about to go find his mom within the crowd when he remembers that there's still one person he hasn’t talked to yet.

As if on cue, a loud “Carlos!” cuts through the air, before Seb launches himself into Carlos’s arms. Neither of them says anything as he hugs the boy tightly, but this time, it’s not out of fear, but out of… well, you know.

“I can’t believe you did this,” Seb pulls back as he puts his hand on Carlos’s cheek, eyes shining. “You’re amazing,” he says almost breathlessly.

“I can’t believe we did this,” Carlos corrects, trying to ignore his burning face where Seb’s hand is. “And you’re pretty fantastic yourself.”

Seb’s face turns what Carlos can only imagine is a matching shade of red to his own. “Okay,” he says giddily, dropping his hand.

Just like at homecoming, Carlos wishes they weren’t in front of a crowd of people, so he could just lean in and kiss the other boy right then and there.

He doesn’t, because he assumes some of the Utah mom’s reactions might be worse than some of the students in their school. He still clings to Seb tight, though.

Maybe this week wasn’t what he thought it was supposed to be, but it was better.

[a-second-hand-sorrow]

You’re Killing Me, Woman (Klaus Hargreeves X Reader)

WC: 1141

Warnings: Swearing, making out, lots of talk about sex but nothing actually happens lol

Summary: Y/N and Klaus are enjoying having the house to themselves, or at least they think they have it to themselves

A/N: First time writing for the Umbrella Academy! I love Klaus with my whole heart so hopefully you guys like this! (also Klaus wearing the reader’s robe was inspired by that scene with Nathan in S1E2 of Misfits)

Y/N grimaced as the harsh sunlight hit her eyes, prompting her to rub them, attempting to wake herself up further. She’d have to remind Klaus to put some curtains up in his room at the academy.

Y/N smiled at the thought of her boyfriend, rolling over to give him a morning kiss only to realise he wasn’t there. Y/N furrowed her eyebrows, but when she heard the distinct sound of Klaus’ off-key singing coming from somewhere in the enormous house, she felt relief wash over her.

As she stepped out of bed, she picked up one of Klaus’ long coats, throwing it on over her underwear before walking down the hallways. Klaus’ singing grew louder as she approached the kitchen, and Y/N couldn’t help but laugh at the sight that greeted her there.

Klaus, wearing nothing but one of Y/N’s rather short silk robes, was prancing around the kitchen singing a very poor medley of ABBA songs while pancakes were cooking on the stove. Y/N cleared her throat and Klaus turned around, grinning upon seeing her.

“Y/N! My love, my dearest, how are you?” Klaus exclaimed, rushing up to Y/N and pecking her lips before turning back to the pancakes.

 “A bit sore but I’m sure you already know that.” Y/N said, wrapping her arms around Klaus’ waist as he chuckled. 

“That’s what I like to hear. Now, do you want chocolate chips in your pancakes or not?” He asked and Y/N nodded, pressing a kiss to his shoulder in affirmation.

”I’ll make some coffee, yeah?” Y/N said, kissing Klaus’ neck before moving to get some mugs. While she poured the coffee Klaus’ singing had subsided to humming, but he was still incredibly passionate about it. As much as Y/N loved the scene in front of her, she couldn’t help but wonder if Klaus had taken something because he usually wasn’t such a cheerful morning person.

“Klaus, I hate to ask this but are you… high?” Y/N asked, taking a sip of her coffee as Klaus turned around to face her, a more serious air about him all of a sudden.

“Y/N, I know I haven’t exactly been the most reliable person in terms of my sobriety, but I can promise you that I am one hundred per cent clean right now. I love you more than I love myself, Y/N Y/L/N, and I would never put you through that no matter how badly I want to sometimes.” Klaus said, leaning over the table and clutching Y/N’s hands in his.

Y/N smiled so widely and genuinely at Klaus that he felt himself smile, rubbing his thumbs along the backs of her hands. “Sobriety’s made you sappy, Klaus.” Y/N said cheekily, giggling as Klaus’ expression morphed into one of mock offence.

“I pour my heart and soul out to you, and this is how you treat me? God, you are killing me, woman!” Klaus said, watching as Y/N moved from her side of the table to right in front of him.

Y/N wrapped her arms around Klaus’ neck, pulling him into a sweet kiss, his hands on her waist as hers slowly crept up into his hair. When they parted, they were both smiling, and Y/N trailed her hands down to Klaus’ chest. “What do you say about a repeat of last night after the pancakes?” Y/N said, toying with the edges of the robe Klaus wore.

“I say we have an empty house and we should take advantage of it. Fuck the pancakes.” Klaus said, a smirk on his face as he undid the belt of Y/N’s coat, groaning as it opened up.

“Like the view?” Y/N said teasingly, dropping the coat to the floor causing a moan to spill from Klaus’ lips.

“Oh you know I do.” Klaus almost growled his response, quickly hoisting Y/N up onto the kitchen table before pulling her into a heated kiss. The pair were so caught up in the kiss that unfortunately they didn’t hear the sudden footsteps of Klaus’ (technically speaking) youngest sibling.

“Hey, do you think I could… Jesus Christ!” Five exclaimed, his eyes widening as Klaus and Y/N separated, hair ruffled and cheeks red.

“Good morning brother.” Klaus said, as if he wasn’t just caught in the act by his brother. Five scoffed, shaking his head in disdain as he poured himself a cup of coffee

“I can’t trust you two to be left alone. Did either of you consider the fact that we eat off that table before you decided to go at it?” Five said, and Klaus let out an overdramatic sigh, lightly punching his brother’s shoulder.

“In our defence, we thought we had the house to ourselves and in the heat of the moment we forgot about you, the little teleporter.” Klaus said, causing Five to roll his eyes and take in a deep breath.

“Why don’t you two go put some clothes on while I salvage breakfast and try and bleach my eyes, hmm?” Five said, and both Y/N and Klaus nodded quickly, picking up their discarded clothes before rushing back to Klaus’ room.

By the time they reached the room they collapsed on Klaus’ bed in a fit of laughter, wiping tears from their eyes. “God that was hilarious! He wasn’t even shocked, he was just done.” Y/N said, resting her head against Klaus’ chest once they’d calmed down a bit.

“Wait, how many siblings have we been caught by? Let’s do a count, shall we?” Klaus said, and Y/N nodded, intertwining her hand with Klaus’.

“Obviously Five, then there was that time at the gym where Diego caught us, boy he was pissed. Started ranting about how we were going to ‘dirty the floor’ or whatever.” Y/N said, and Klaus chuckled at the memory.

“God it was so awkward when Luther caught us, and I think Vanya wanted to curl up and die, I felt so sorry for her.” Klaus said, and Y/N nodded in agreement.

“Maybe the moral of all these stories are that we should stop fucking in places your siblings can find us?” Y/N suggested, looking up at Klaus who simply smirked, shaking his head.

“That is a preposterous suggestion. I think the moral is that we should just be more careful.” Klaus said cheekily and Y/N chuckled, whacking his chest lightly.

“Breakfast is ready, rabbits!” Five shouted, and the pair rolled their eyes at the nickname gifted to them by the time traveller. 

“He’s so mean to us, but I do feel like pancakes.” Y/N said, reluctantly standing up and pulling on some bike shorts and one of Klaus’ old shirts.

“Right you are. Now, lead the way my lovely lady.” Klaus said, smacking Y/N’s ass as she started walking, eliciting a short squeak from the girl.

As chaotic as life with Klaus was, Y/N wouldn’t swap it for anything else.

[miasswier]

miasswier’s ultimate glee ranking: no 5

5: Theatricality

Written by: Ryan Murphy Directed by: Ryan Murphy

Overall Thoughts: For a really, really long time this was my absolute favourite episode of all time. It’s still high up there, but unlike most people I actually really enjoyed the last two seasons of Glee, so this episode got bumped down a bit. Still, there is very little I don’t like about this episode. It manages to give several characters’ stories while still focusing on the main two stories of the episode. Unlike “Dream On”, I didn’t feel like I was watching a show about Finn, Rachel, Kurt, and Shelby. I felt like I was watching Glee.

What I Like:

Figgins thinking vampires are real and talking about how they need to keep vampirism out of McKinley.

Tina looking interested when Puck says “Catholic school girl”

“Happy meal, no onions. Or a chicken”

Kurt getting so excited over Lady Gaga. Oh, honey <3

“You don’t need an appointment at super-cuts. They love walk-in’s” CLAPBACK OF THE CENTURY LADIES AND GENTLEMEN (this line makes me die of laughter every fucking time like oh my god Karofksy you are so genuinely stupid)

The Lady Gaga outfits!!!! Even Rachel’s original one, which I find hilarious and way more fitting for her personality than the one she gets later

“You look terrible. I look awesome”

“You want to name our daughter Jack Daniels? She’s a girl!” “Okay, fine, Jackie Daniels”

Shelby being honest with Rachel when she realized that she made a mistake by contacting her and that this wasn’t what she really wanted. I appreciate when characters can be honest when they mess up, even if it hurts them and other people.

Rachel being honest as well and admitting that she doesn’t feel that mother-daughter bond she always dreamed of with Shelby. I wish they’d gone a little deeper into this, but I’m still glad they mentioned it at all. Especially when Shelby says that it was when Rachel told her about her dad’s and how they would bring her water when she was sad. Shelby isn’t her mom, and it was silly for both of them to expect that. Rachel doesn’t have a mom – she has two dads. While I’m glad they explored the “where I come from” aspect of this, I’m also glad that they didn’t turn it into “I feel more connected to you because of biology than I do to my fathers who raised me”.

THAT WHOLE SCENE WITH KURT AND FINN AND BURT IN THE BASEMENT. There is so much I love about that scene. I could write an essay on that scene and how important it is. That scene literally defined Glee for me for so long. I’m so glad they did that scene.

Okay, I know it’s an insult and homophobic and gross but when Azimio says “being in football and being in Glee doesn’t make you versatile – it makes you bisexual” I always burst out laughing like oh my god I don’t know why I find that so funny.

Finn standing up for Kurt at the end. I will say though that, while I enjoy this, there are some things that I wish had been included as well, which I’ll talk more about later.

Artie and Mike being lil cuties and actually cheering for the girls and being super encouraging in their performance. Considering Artie was always portrayed as the most misogynistic of the guys, he actually is one of the few that openly and genuinely encourages the girls in their performances every fucking time.

Finn actually getting to react to seeing Puck and Quinn talk about the baby!!!!! That’s always been my biggest pet peeve – Finn literally thought he was going to be a father and that got ripped away from him, and he wasn’t ever shown to be angry about that. It was always just “oh boo-hoo Quinn cheated on me and Puck is my best friend woe is me” when really he should be mourning the loss of a child he thought was his, but then learnt was not. Like… I don’t know. Seeing him awkwardly look away reminds everyone that he genuinely thought that baby was his, and now he can’t go through this with Quinn. He’s obviously upset about it. Even though he’s a dink in this episode I still feel bad for him about this.

Will going to the effort to look into Lady Gaga and actually getting excited about her.

What I Don’t:

I already said this, but Finn is a dink in this episode. He’s getting bullied by Karofksy and Azimio, and instead of calling them out on being homophobic and sexist and engaging in toxic masculinity, he just falls into it. He turns that abuse onto Kurt, who he clearly thinks is the one who deserves the abuse. And like, I don’t get why he’s so freaked out around Kurt. Yeah, it’s obvious that Kurt has a crush on him, but when has he ever tried to make a blatant, obvious move (kiss him, touch him, grab him, etc)? When has he given Finn any reason to be worried about changing around him, or even just sharing a room with him? It’s homophobia and toxic masculinity at it’s finest. Add the whole “I don’t wanna do Gaga cause I’m a Man” bullshit that’s thrown into this episode and it’s just a mess. While I’m happy they had Finn stand up for Kurt at the end and wear the Lady Gaga outfit, it still took him being told by an older, straight man that he was being a piece of shit and homophobic and offensive and gross for him to realize what was happening. Plus, I don’t think they gave Finn enough of a chance to really redeem himself. I mean, come on, it’s really easy to say sorry and put on an outfit; actually changing your attitude is more of an uphill battle. I wish they’d re-visited this more at a later date (though not in the way they did in “Duets” when Kurt brings it up and it somehow turns on Kurt and makes Finn look like the victim which……. Fuck off)

Will being the one to tell Shelby what she needs to do with Rachel.

Will agreeing with Finn about how they always do what the girls want when the girls literally always get sidelined. Literally fuck off. I can’t stand this “boo hoo my masculinity is too fragile to perform a song by a theatrical woman I need to perform a manly song instead” “you’re right, I’ve been turning this Boys Club into a Girls Club. Time to take our manhood back!” Ew.

Finn, Puck and Matt not being supportive of the girls when they performed their awesome Gaga number. I feel like this show did that a lot – the guys don’t understand a performer, so they don’t encourage their teammates. Then, when they do a number, the girls are super supportive and encouraging. It’s annoying.

Okay, even though Finn is a dink in this episode, I still think that they shouldn’t have told him about moving in with Burt and Kurt like that. This decision affects him too – Carole should have sat him down and asked him what he wanted to do, and if they disagreed then figured out how they could come up with a compromise.

Also, yet another missed opportunity for bi!Finn! This whole episode could have been an awesome way to show internalized homophobia, especially with that line at the end where Finn is like “I am different”. But whatever.

“My dad’s can’t sow. I really need a mom right now” I mean, not every woman knows how to sow, Rachel. You clearly don’t know how to sow. Why would you assume that just because she’s technically a mother that Shelby knows how to sow?

Songs:

Funny Girl: While Idina Menzel sounds amazing in this, I find it boring and too long. It’s emotional because of Rachel, but whenever Rachel isn’t on screen I lose interest.

Bad Romance: An amazing number!!! I love when they do actual group numbers, where a bunch of them get solo lines. I think everyone except Rachel and Brittany sing in this one, which is amazing! Plus the costumes and the choreography is awesome! My only gripe is changing “I’m a free bitch, baby” to “I’m a freak, baby”, which I don’t understand cause they say the word “bitch” on Glee all the time (they literally sing a song titled “Bitch” like come on).

Shout It out Loud: An entertaining performance that is all too forgettable. I honestly can’t remember most of what happened in it, and I literally just watched it.

Beth: This song always brings tears to my eyes. It’s such an emotional moment, and the song is so melancholy. Plus Puck sounds amazing (and while I understand why the put Finn’s verse in there I still lowkey wish it had been a Puck solo).

Poker Face: I have never liked this version of the song, and I probably never will. I don’t think it transfers well to acoustic at all. I honestly cringe a little listening to it because the lyrics and the melody just don’t match up. I strongly dislike this song. No thanks.

Final Thoughts: While I wish they had gone further on a few elements, overall this episode is really strong. It’s funny (a lot of great one-liners), it’s emotional, and (with a few exceptions) has really good music. It’s definitely my favourite episode of season one, and I’ve watched it as a stand-alone more times than I can count. I really, really like this episode.