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#and also i Really need a real therapist. lmao *overshares on tumglr dot edu*
californiaquail · 2 years
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might get kicked out of this apartment if i don't get a license and car within like maybe a month lol. lmao even
#like she has someone coming to look at the apartment tomorrow morning apparently#had to write a text with my plans regarding this as though the situation is not making me want to die and im handling it normally#i get it i get her reasons but like whew. guess i seriously misunderstood the finality of the deadlines that were expressed in....#less intense terms. i thought#so my options are 1. leave 2. dont get a car but have to move out of this apartment into town in order to get a job i can walk to#(dont want to move or play the gamble of getting another landlord + i dont think theres really anything for under $1000/mo which im not#confident i could keep up with) or 3. get my fucking license as soon as possible (unclear how long you have to have permit first) and#instantly get a car (either go in considerable debt or lease) and then get another job in town. which there are plenty of i just want to#kill myself about the concept of driving and making a $10-15k commitment#i hate living and also myself lol#the good bit is if i really have to leave here there's places i've had an eye on going to for some time that i can try#but i really need to be in one place for a while and i DID have a bit of a breakdown about letting myself think i had a place to be#finally. i don't want to be here forever but good fucking lord i havent actually lived somewhere for almost ten years#i can go back to the itinerant thing at some point but i need to fucking live for a minute. christ#and also i Really need a real therapist. lmao *overshares on tumglr dot edu*#at least it's finally fucking storming like it was supposed to the last two days#me
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