#and also hemmed them im not an animal

[mothlover69]

Buggy wakes up one day and all his shirts have mysteriously transformed into v necks

[transgaysex]

did some good progress on my wizard robe today

[gomzdrawfr]

Bear with me here I am going to word vomit of an AU I thought of (and I literally just woke up) Idk if I have the time to write, draw or even animate this bUT

A ghostprice au where Price goes blind

Here’s a scene I had in my head, imagine a blackout panel, with a typewriting sound effect in the back that reads:

Patient Information: Johnathan Price, birth date, weight, height, number, address (something along those lines which are meant to hint this is a beginning of a medical record)

and then white blurry speech bubbles appearing from left and right

“What?”

You voiced out, or rather, Price voiced out (you are in Price’s POV)

All the speech bubbles seized, and for a moment it’s just darkness and much quieter whispers

“…Laswell?”

“John, you’re up, easy now”

He hears her from his left, but still there’s total darkness, and he furrows his brows, hands slowly reaching up to pat his face, or scratch it— there’s nothing on his skin, so he’s not being blindfolded, and there’s no sac or bag covering his head— but there is layers of something covering his eyes that he tries to pull off, managing to peek through a bit, he thinks he’s opening his eyes but—

Still black

“…?”

And then we cut to a shot of Ghost’s face, eyes wide with realization that Price can’t see anymore.

The last panel reads:

“Diagnosis: Traumatic Optic Neuropathy” (aka vision loss”

- end of scene

More rambles:

Thinking about maybe from a mission an IED went off before anyone could react— well technically Price reacted first by pulling Ghost away, which resulted in direct exposure to the blast, followed by a concussion

Ghost immediately got on his feet and dragged Price away while also making sure all units were still available, he looks down and he sees laceration and red

Well okay I haven’t figure out the clinical part but Im thinking maybe some blood pools around the corner of Price’s eyes (if, say, the laceration cut across his eyelids), it wouldn’t be as dramatic to the point where there’s blood trickling down his eyes per see cuz Idk if I plan to make the shrapnel penetrate into the cornea (in this case it would be extremely severe cause of trauma, I shall have some mercy on him)

Maybe amongst the panic he saw how Price’s left eye slowly turned red (internal bleeding) and all his alarms went off and quickly get medical on it

Of course he was praying that it wasn’t as serious, maybe it was superficial and maybe his eyes were playing tricks on him cuz it was dark and the hallway had red lamp all over

Also i just realized this is prob quite inaccurately portrayed bcuz the bandages that covers the eyes are usually tightly sealed, and that his action of ripping them off is prrrobbaaably not good since infections and increasing the pressure around his eyes are just going to make this worse (like reopening sutures or whatnot) but i think it could work (shhh ✨fiction science✨)

But nope, Price is blind, and that automatically puts him unfit for service and Ghost knows that this isn’t going to go well for the man

We always joked around saying Price is old but imagine if he’s mid 30s, prime in his years and definitely still had a lot of kick in him— only to be forcefully ripped away from it

The devastation, the angst, the anger, the unfairness of it all, the never ending cycle of guilt from both Ghost and Price

DO U FEEL IT?!

Anyways *ah hem* if you’ve read this far and would be interested to develop this yourself whether with fic or art go ahead! I sure as hell won’t be able to bring out the sheer desperation and agony from this sort of au or story so yeah XD

[roe-and-memory]

every time someone says cars 3 is the worst cars movie another angel punches me in the stomach and pulls my hair.

this is probably just my intense special interest in the origins of nascar, but that movie feels like such a nice send-off for the main “trilogy”, and yes people can have their own opinions but i NEED to talk about how much this movie means to me

first of all, a major misconception is that lightning quit racing - he DIDNT! this is proven by both the end of the movie (where he says hes obviously going to keep racing) and cars on the road where, in the final episode, cruz and lightning wish each other “goodbye” and say they’ll see each other on the racetrack. he was only cruz’s crew chief for that one season, presumably healing from the trauma of the crash (because lets be real his ass did not mentally recover from that in FOUR MONTHS) and also waiting for a permanent crew chief to take his place.

second.. the sheer amount of detail put into that movie is INSANE. the racing center being shaped like grandstands at a track? fireball beach being both a direct reference to the daytona beach race course and also “fireball roberts”, a 1950s racer (he was actually the reason that firesuits were mandated in the sport), we meet a bunch of 1950s racers as well and just augh.. so good. also, the detail of thomasville being in north carolina is brilliant - N.C is the “racing state”, and thomasville speedway is based off of north wilkesboro, a track that was opened in 1949, and last used in 1996 (aside from the series of races in 2010), and it fell into disrepair. (fun fact, north wilkesboro is reopening in 2024 for the nascar all star race!! they fixed my bbg)

third. cars three brings so much more lore than the first movie did. yes, we knew doc raced in the 50s when the sport was getting its start, but in cars 3? they brought in characters based off of real 1950s racers (doc is based off of herb thomas, smokey is smokey yunick, lou is louise smith, junior is junior johnson, river is wendell scott, and leroy hemming is tim flock) (another reference in the movie is “jocko flockos party supplies” as macks disguise - jocko flocko was tim flocks pet monkey that was the FIRST and only co-driver in the history of the sport. he won a race with his monkey in the car with him :) )

as i was saying, the lore we learn is insane. we learn that lou and river had to fight for their place in the sport, which is similar to what both louise smith and wendell scott experienced in the 50s, they show us accurately how racing worked back then too - they didnt have fancy pits, they had a fence and a pit member with a sign that would tell them to come in the next lap for service. all of these cars are gen 1 nascar, which means that they were strictly stock - they had much more intense pit sessions than any of the other “built for racing” generations have ever needed. i recall watching a race wherein smokey yunick had to change the radiator of one of his racers vehicles mid-race due to a crash.

this isnt everything, but seriously for an animated movie about talking cars, they discuss grief and hardships and handle them so well its insane. i know cruz isnt everyones cup of tea, but (in reference to the flip scene at the end of the movie) watching cruz get shoved into the sport must’ve been insane for lou to watch. she saw herself in that girl. it wasnt some movie about lightning giving up, it was him sharing the torch with another kid who lost their way just like he had.

also i dont cry at movies but i literally bawl my fucking eyes out at the letters scene every time. its PATHETIC (its not im literally tearing up just thinking about it)

[leonsleftbicep]

Dad Token

I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS FOR A WEEK AND ITS ROTTING MY BRAIN HOLY SHIT SAVE ME

eh hem

any ways :3

Vessel is a proud dad because he got to name this kid. sleep was like “ay, you want a baby” and then gave them this cat? cow? deer? human? kid. her names Lotus.

II always takes naps with her, they all suspect hes her favorite.

as i said cat thing, she stretches sometimes. im guessing its something that has to do with being some what related to III and the other vessels.

THANK YOU MOONY(@moonchild-in-blue) BTW. IV likes to dress Lotus in a bunch of animal onesies, her favorite right now is the deer one. Vessel said it’s because it reminds Lotus of IV and shes very similar to him in the personality.

you can tell i dont know how to draw babies. also this is just something i think about at times. little Lotus and her Four Fathers, yeah my brain has been braining in the wrong direction

i forgot IV’s horns but its ok

[moldycantaloupe]

I think im objectively right to say that a few of the ghouls have oral fixations and those who have it cope with it differently (whether it good or bad coping).

Dew and Swiss both smoke and vape. they all smoke weed, even if only sometimes, so I'm not counting that into the mix.

Dew has a tendency to bite at his fingers and claws so he does his best to find other things to occupy them with. fidget toys, playing his guitar, cooking (I am a firm believer that Dew is Okay in the kitchen!).

Swiss chews on anything he can, even if he shouldn't. the hems of his shirts, blankets, pens. he got in trouble once for chewing up Aethers favorite wooden spoon (he gifted him a new one from their time in South America).

Mountain chews at his lips and cheek, especially when deep in thought or in a project. the inside of his mouth is noticeably scarred from the amount of times he's done it. he also, like Dew, chews at his fingers.

Sunshine likes to explore textures, even if it's non-edible textures. she's found her favorite to be water bottles and silicone. she steals Phantom's sensory necklaces from time to time (see at end). she'll chew(nibble) on the necklace with her front teeth because it makes her feel like a rabbit eating.

I don't think Rain has much of a fixation but he WILL bite anything. "I just wanna see how resistant it is!" he will say, after biting Cirrus' arm. thankfully he gets a Look right before lunging into a bite so they can stop him in time. They've also learned that he will bite less if he's got a hard candy in his mouth, so they will always stock up on those.

and finally, Phantom is like Swiss in where he'll chew on anything, but this time he will CHEW. on ANYTHING. couches, bedposts, metal forks. there's a noticeable chew mark on the coffee table from when he was first summoned and they didn't know better. but they found a solution quickly; sensory chew necklaces. they have a couple lying around in each room and one is always on him, so the ruining of furniture has dropped drastically.

because of these fools they also have an abundance of dog chew toys and animal bones for them to chew at. it's not uncommon specifically to hear a muffled squeak squeak from the greenhouse. Swiss and Phantom fuck up the bones. Dew and Rain like to just hold both toys and bones in their mouth. Sunshine WILL try and tear the toys apart.

[qprpbj]

movie star anon! I have more peril recs for u!! some of them are from my own playlist and others I saw floating around

- “purple teeth, the bravery” by del water gap (specifically from darry’s pov)

- “good luck babe” and “casual” by chappell roan

- “the chain” by fleetwood mac

- “motion sickness” by phoebe bridgers

- “the story of us” by taylor swift

- “promises” by luke hemmings (i picture this more at the peak of their relationship)

- “letter to an old poet” by boygenius

hope you enjoy!!

HII THANK YOU these are all in the playlist now. im especially so obsessed with purple teeth the bravery omfggggg. insane. i have a few for you!!! 🙂‍↕️

you shouldn’t have said that by ella jane, soren and the way things go by bea, animal & could cry just thinking about you by troye sivan, cellophane by fka twigs, strange by celeste, love you from a distance by ashley kutcher, pretty much anything by lewis watson but especially stay, windows, and it could be better. and also throwing in favourite tshirt by jake scott. sigh

[faaarawayyy]

hai!!

i’m bea/benrey! either name is good!

my pronouns include but r not limited to hey/hem/heir, she/her, and he/him. you can find all my pronouns and how to use them here!

i label myself nonbinary and dolphinygender but im rly just a creature ^_^ also aroace and platonically objectum! i’m taken in a queerplatonic relationship <33 also im otherkin/nonhuman!! (oceankin + robotkin)

i am a minor, and i have autism and adhd, so please keep these in mind when interacting with me! nsfw/18+ blogs please dni for both our comforts

i have tons of interests but i am especially fixated currently on dungeons and dragons, spore, kirby, rain world, and all my own ocs!! my biggest spinterest will always be in marine life/the ocean, i have my #marautism tag for all that stuff

i also post my own art here! most of it is of my ocs but maybe sometimes ill post misc fandom stuff if i ever feel like making fanart!

i don’t have a strict dni rly cuz i just block n move on casually but just, i feel it should be fairly obvious that youre not welcome here if youre a bigot or a proshipper or a zionist or just super nasty!! stay far away from me tyyy

anyway. beside that. tags and other blogs beneath cut and have fun here!! feel free to interact in any way i dont bite!! peace n love

@bluelightovermurder | my dnd/dunmeshi/ttrpg posting blog. lots of character related rbs

@starryseastims | my stimboard blog! feel free to send requests!

@tmd-clangen | my (as of now inactive) clangen story blog! post-apoc horror and challenge-based, be aware it contains lots of dark themes

@delfinxxia | currently inactive artblog lol. i may repurpose it someday? idk but it’s there

@recoveryranger | also inactive pokeblr blog. idk when ill get back into it haha

misc. notes

my content warnings are formatted like the following example: #cws #blood #death (etc). common ones likely will be: blood, gore, death/animal death, eyestrain. if you need anything more specifically tagged, feel free to send in an ask stating what you’d like tagged, anon or not!

my oc art is not free use but any of my fandom art may be used for noncommercial and/or personal reasons with credit! (ex. using my art as pfp)

i don’t usually do requests, art trades, or commissions, but i’ll post if this is something that happens at any point

tag guide

#clicksnsqueaks - just me saying stuff

#textbubbles - misc. textposts not said by me

#reblog - self-explanatory

#ask - asks i’ve received and answered! i’ll tag your username too but you can also request me not to

#ask game and #tag game - if i rb ask games or get tagged in something

#others’ art - self-explanatory, art that other people have made

#friend art - also self-explantatory, art from my friends/mutuals :>

#important - things that are. well. important. serious posts only

#4me - stuff that was made for me, gifts/commissions/etc.!

#4later - resources and compilation posts usually, might tag them specifically with #art resources or #life stuff as well

#fav - stuff i REALLY like

#mecore - things that r just. mecore. yknow

#me-tagged - stuff my friends/mutuals tagged for me YAAAY

#inspiration - awesome stuff that makes me feel inspired

#silly - stuff i think is funny

#wholesome - stuff i think is cute or nice or uplifting

art-specific tags

#my art - self-explanatory!

#srb - occasional reblogs of my own work

#my ocs - also self-explanatory! contains all original characters of mine, fandom or not. #oc: [oc name] tags will also be added for specific characters, and fandom tags if they apply

#others’ ocs - for other peoples’ characters that i’ve drawn

#fanart - art i make of characters from any media! fandoms and individual characters will be tagged

[vanweezer]

OKAY I GOT A BUNCH FOR YOU :3

all for rosalia: appearance 1, 2, and 19, objects 3, 9, and 17, food 2, 7, and 16, weather/nature 9, community 4 and 18, mind heart body and soul 9 and 10, and lastly hobbies 3 and 7

YAYYY THANK YOU this is gonna take ten million years to finish but YAYYYYY. also ime putting these under a readmore <3 but keep sending these yall i loveeeee yapping abt my ocs

appearance

1. what's your character's favorite physical trait they possess?

probably her arms (full of tatts!) or her eyes. doesnt happen often but they can kindasortaaliiiittle bit turn a yellow-er green when shes happy or hungry

2. what would your character wear if they were told they had to gussy up?

honestly some kinda suit?? not a proper 3 piece lol but like a 00s avril lavigne with a tie that doesnt match her normalassshirt & a studded belt. she'd also have some leather/denim jacket her mom gave her if the outfit needed to be Fancy fancy

19. if your character had to get a tattoo what would it be?

rosie has PLANYYY of tattoos. a ram w stars and clouds on her left shoulder (shes v much an aries </3), moon cycle chart going down her left arm, a spiderweb on her left forearm, stars all the way down the side of her torso (i forget which part i kinda just draw them. a lot), two hearts on her pelvis, and a sleeve of a dragon with batwings on her right arm.

objects

3. what type of object is likely to catch your character's attention?

anything black & astrology themed. hair clips, hats, belts, sometimes shoes. she loves a star motif

9. does your character prefer to give or receive gifts?

receiveeee im p sure her gf spoils her and while shes a normal amount of shy about big surprises or gifts (ahem hem, her mom be like) she loves whenever someone takes the time to give her something she might like. cannot be a collection or large amount of things at once though, or she'll get the urge to count em

17. what's most important to your character when shopping?

1: is it black, 2: is it cheap, and 3: if its not cheap can it fit in her pocket or been worn in such a cunty way the store employees already assumed she was wearing it

food

2. would your character prefer baking, cooking, or mixing drinks?

drink mixing for sure, and not just alcohol she'll go to a convenience store and get like 7 different slushie flavors in one if shes really jonesing for it

7. is there food that has made your character sick?

probably when she gets 7 different slushie flavors in one. or someone who mightve donated really nasty blood

16. is there a food texture your character doesn't like?

anything too close to organs/guts (hearts, lungs, skin sometimes) some vampires prefer their blood 'from the source' and that really skeeves rosie out. baby gurl prefers her blood bags </3

weather/nature

9. is your character good with animals?

while she LOVES cats i doubt she could be held responsible for one without either eating it or letting it roam the outdoors unsupervised. outside of that she might be good with a pet fish. coughs

community

4. is your character upfront about their feelings?

as far as like lying she wouldnt be eager to do that as she'd see no point in going out of her way to hide stuff from someone. outwardly shes kinda careless as opposed to carefree, so while people can open up to her without fear of judgement she doesnt really match that energy vulnerability wise. most things are for jokes with her </3 but when she Is honest or Does reflect on things she can sometimes be too blunt/unforgiving/blasé

18. what's your character's favorite form of affection?

depends on the person but she prefers physical affection in like different ways. shes fine with hugging family or linking arms at the very least. with friends she blurs the line with whats 'typical' in terms of affection, so shes fine with kissing or making out instead of a 'thanks' or a 'hey whats up'. with her gf definitely prooobably... 👉👌el oh el

mind body & soul

9. does your character have any allergies?

none that come to mind <3

10. is your character a light, medium, or heavy sleeper?

heavy HEAVY sleeper she'll knock out for days if she feels like it

hobbies

3. what is a talent your character whishes they had?

singing or maybe being able to play chess really well. shes not into the game itself she just thinks immortality would be fun if she could whip out a new party trick every few centuries etc

7. what is a talent that your character is proud of?

my rosie can DRAW ok!!!!! she loves to make her lil pictures and paintings and sketches!!!! she can mf TATTOO!!!! literally your favorite tattoo artist's favorite tattoo artist

[fisheito]

i understand you perfectly!! i think maybe some people have less coordination to catch the bouncy ball brain that can happen when someone's excited and passionate abt smthn is maybe why others have said they have trouble understanding what you mean sometimes? but it made perfect sense to me and YHHEEESS!!!!! YES I WANT YAKUMO TO BE SEEN BY CHICKENS!!!!!!! i think about him as a wee one a lot bc there's SO much sand in the sandbox to make little sandyakus out of. like are forest animals less likely to be wary of him because more yokai (as far as we've seen) are in the forests? COW YOKAI WHEN?? (just olivines halloween costume and i just finished polishing my milk bucket)

thinking of a very scared little snakey boy crying hysterically over a duck flapping at him is so sad but also. too funny im so sorry yakumo. grandma and grandpa have their work cut out for them to not only raise a semi feral child but whatever yard birds they have keep trying to fight and there's only so much you can do while holding a long and terrified child on your hip who may or may not understand the common language at this point!! child yakumo is FASCINATING and i want to know so much more about what they had to deal with, like the only humanity he's ever known was 1) cave murals for him to base his DIY human form and 2) fuckers both small and adult size terrorizing him in the cave

personally! i like the idea that even after operation cave adoption yakumo was pretty immediately in fawn mode and probably had a very deep understanding of behavior that gets smiles and soft touches vs behavior that gets loud and angry (like most full ass human children do) but like? what if he had a biting streak like a lot of other full ass human children do? is it just instinct? does he have fangs?????? (i say yes but im a monsterlover first human third) i also think it would be funny and also sweet if the chickens are PISSED at a snake coming into their yard and their hutch but wait! snake has corn? corn? corn? corn? this snake can stay. i think little yakumo should get to hug a chicken!!! they're very friendly and like people and many of them like to be pet and snuggled it's his right as a country boy to show up at his grandparents and have many excited birds running to see him. ladies LOVE this guy

also grampa harvesting(?? is that the word. collecting. idk) eggs and yakumo helping for the first time and he's like "look :) this is an egg for us to eat. it's how the chickens say thank you for giving them a house :)" and baby yaks just. holds egg every carefully. eyes big with wonder. places a raw ass unwashed still has some straw on it egg into his mouth and swallows it whole. grampa watches his jaw pop in and out of place. grampa needs a smoke after this one. stories to tell eiden while looking at the baby pictures when yakumo is in the bathroom. he comes back to the main room and eidens like "aww yakumo why didn't you tell me you solved your grandparents mouse problem within the first month of you staying here 🥺 that's so sweet" "mmhmm mmhmm. he just slurped them up like spaghetti and i only fainted twice seeing the tail hanging out of his mouth" (yakumo is so embarrassed he levels the entire klein continent)

AND AND speaking of small animals and me having 0 memory of canon did bring it up i DESPERATELY want to know how topper felt the first time he had to meet yakumo. did he get super poofy and do the weasel war dance because predator with essence close to Quincy range? or did he just scamper into the kitchen one day and tug on the hem of yakumos pants like "excuse me papá said you would make me a sandwich" bc we know they can understand each other and that topper is a chill little guy, but just how smooth was the first interaction!!!

i also! feel like i am a bit incomprehensible here ahaha. i think a lot of it is the excitement, and my very scattered attention span and energy levels. we are playing intellectual racquetball. but you are very understandable to me and very funny and very kind! thank you for appreciating the creatureness of yaks and giving him lots of thought and love and chickens. and for allowing me to put this long ass ask in your box 🩷🐟

I AM ADDING TO UR LONG ASS ASK WITH MY LOMG ASREPLY wEEEEE

i didn;t think any of that was incomprehensible but then again who am i to act as a baseline for comprehension sfoijiseojclokls thank u for ur long ass ask every paragraph filled me with visions and made me engage in More THan Just Sensible Chuckle

(side note: i kno we all joke about olivine being cow but . kinda makes sense. they're curious and intelligent... they have complicated social structures and bffs... they are gentle but also tanks and will destroy u if that is their true desire. does olivine like being brushed? i'll have to wait to find out)

-i cannot believe it didn't click but grandma and granpa rly DID raise a feral baby. i always wonder how lil yaku ... ebven formed his human body? like, what informed his knowledge of human anatomy? behaviour? processes and??? uhhh i'll just pretend it was magical Great Serpent generational knowledge embedded in his DNA or smth bc aint no way yaku learning how to be People from the bullies, like u said 😥

DO SNAKES MOUTH ON THINGS? like, gnaw on things with their gummy litl mouths to figure out the world? i know they usually use their tongue to investigate but the image of a baby snake... who doesn't know that a certain food item is too big for them... so they keep trying to eat it from diff angles. but it's not working and tehy're not venomous so their only weapon is to squeeze something , which is not helpful in subduing the stationary giant food item but i guess this is the point where they try to figure out how to unhinge their jaw properly (technique is important!!) so. i guess they succeed in the end? How big is too big for an unhinged snake jaw?? child yakumo pouting because he can't eat an entire pampo in one bite? 😅

-desperately necessary visual: yakumo and eiden pulling up to the ol' farm in their carriage. they disembark. eiden spots the ladies (hens) running from the horizon. the chickens keep comin'. some are HAULING FEATHERY ASS. some are more casual trotters. eiden starts to recognise the speed demons in the flock (he will name them and narrate a race in his head every time they visit). yakumo is surprised they recognise him, even tho they do this EVERY TIME he visits. he promptly gives them snacks from his stash.

re: topper... i'd guess that since topper met yakumo post-eiden, he wouldn't register yaku as a threat. yaku has chilled out by that point, and always smells like tasty human food. WAS THERE A CANONICAL MOMENT ALREADY DISCLOSED WHERE TOPPER MET YAKUMO FOR THE FIRST TIME??? I DO NOT KNOW. topper just seems abnormally chill and friendly sooo I shall guess that topper would survey the vibes of yakumo and go "that seems like. a quiet fella. smells like meat. will he give me treats? paPA, does he provide treats???" quincy: idk go ask topper: NOICE (hops off to investigate yakumo's treat quotient) so drama-free. finally someone who speaks your language. both squeaks AND food 🥰

anyway your entire ask is just a compilation of things i need to see PLEASE FORTHE LOVE OF SNAKES the images are so vivid. so cute. i simply must (clenches fists) (clenches toes)

[leclerced]

kinda got scared thinking about my digital footprint and am considering deactivating my account , worried people i know are going to find out it’s me based off of the hints i’ve spilled about my personal life… plus is everything goes well and i end up in motorsports journalism the links i’ve shared linking to my personal tiktok account is pretty damn scary…

-🪼🪼🪼

don’t stress about it!! i’ve been thru various fandoms and only once has anyone i know irl ever found one of my accounts and i have had friends search for HOURS. and she only found my old twitter account after i told her i had been tweeted by twizzlers, and she went through a years worth of their tweets to find the reply and be like omg!! i found ur account!

also ive sold nudes n shit, they are def still out there, i think the twit acc i sold them on is still up and i just changed it into an anime twit acc lmaooo. let someone use my phone get on d*rk web to order … things … so i feel like that might be on there idk. i’ve posted on every hellsite available, literally tweeted that i wanted luke hemmings to cum in me While He Followed Me. ok i was an insane teenager. im pretty sure the tweets are still up and he still follows 😭 my digital footprint is a mountain range. anything u can do online ive done it.

trying to be reassuring that it’ll be ok bc im attached to u and dont want u to deactivate !! w tiktok, the app is gonna fade eventually and when they check ur digital footprint they’re not looking at links you copy/pasted and shit. if need be, make a burner tiktok account for when you send links so it’s not linked directly to yrs!! i doubt theres a way they could find every link you copied from tiktok then search the internet to see where you sent it and what you said about it, it’s like looking over public accounts you disclose to them or they find when they search your name and shit, so if tumblr doesn’t have your full name and shit it’s not coming up on any searches, i wouldn’t think.

also can i say i hate that tiktok does that its so fucking weird and intrusive imo.

[kleinstar]

☎👋😍✔️👂

RELATIONSHIPBUILDING (NOT ACCEPTING)

☎ for your muse’s info in my muses phone (name, ringtone, picture, last text received/sent).

Name: Quincy!!! (maybe he adds a heart or five later hehe) Picture: a picture of quincy napping he snapped one this one time - he'd change it sometimes but its usually him napping regardless, topper is there too Last text sent: [txt] ate this today let's go together next time (text seen ) [txt] im bringing these to topper today ok? *picture of treats* (text seen) [txt] *another very mundane text about something (text seen) ....AND SO ON IT GOES LIKE THAT FOR A LONG TIME maybe some noes or yesses here and there, cut by calls etc. Eiden's actually pretty fine with left on read when it comes to Quincy really, if he sees it that means he's probably read it unless its incomprehensible wall of text or something lmao

👋for three things that describe our muses relationship. i struggle(d) with this one for no reason aaaa itd be cool to do more abstract stuff but im so bad at that

long naps after busy day

nights under starry skies before fire

scent of home

Send 😍 for my muse to tell yours three things they love about them.

" Hehe, ehehe.... Just three things? That's funny! I can say more but I don't know if I feel like counting! "

" I mean saying looks is like almost cheating, too easy but I mean have you seen him --- whaa ? You haven't huh? But also like there's that whole gap with how he looks or even acts sometimes and then how he actually is! I mean nobody's perfect so there's some truth to that too but he really is actually really gentle, attentive, kind and reliable... All of that! He's also really skilled in practical stuff and you know survival skills and all of that and he always teaches me even when I'm not doing so good!! With him being like that he's really good with kids and of course with animals it's like some snow white stuff if snow white was a hot guy? "

" And uh... how do I say? You know since I'm like ... kind of busybody I keep sometimes taking up a liiiiiiittle too much stuff - I mean not as much as I used to, I've become a little better at taking care of myself - but that guy reaaaaally makes sure I relax right? I'm sure it's on purpose sometimes but sometimes it's probably all unwittingly too.... I don't know if I noticed it myself.... "

" --- ah but that should be all in past tense okay? But I guess he still is all that so maybe not? Hehe. Anyway that's why I'm here so hehe - will you pretty please throw me something a little stronger than that? Something sweet though, I don't like bitter stuff ok? " this is probably eiden @ bartender already just a little bit tipsy, before quincy was eventually called to pick up hehe

✔️ for a daydream my muse has had about/involving yours.

He can see the water pooling down from the hose, pressing down the dirty blond hair continuing to broad frame wetting his shirt. His shirt would be all white for this, revealing all so easily... The way the fabric would stick to his skin, complimenting the shape of his muscles. As the hose would be pulled off he'd sigh all worn out but content in the fight for summer heat.. He'd brush his weathered fingers through the wet hair and maybe pull the t-shirt's hem up just a little ... Through the shirt you'd be able to see the pecs and the pink hue visible through.

Then he'd look at him and approach --

" Wait Quincy nooo... We're in public surrounded by all these people-- "

" ..... I'm leaving you here. "

It wakes Eiden up and quick he runs to Quincy, explaining himself in rapid fire pace that Quincy doesn't really seem to bother in deciphering.

Behind the two is left the ad looking for participants for an event in the summer. In big clear letters reads WET T-SHIRT CONTEST.

Send 👂 to overhear my muse talking about yours.

" Oh it was really cute - since he's so big kids would climb over him and all, and he'd sigh but then end up taking them around like it's nothing and -- "

" ---Quincy! When did you appear there? I was just bragging for you! "

[twildflower]

I like warturtle..a silly guy. I like the ears and tail. Floofy. I don’t wanna evolve my warturtle(s) and its so annoying that i have to press b to cancel every time it levels up…in my new lets go vee file. I already evolved the one in my old file. Warturtle is one of my favs!! Yes.

Check this out if ur interested in what pokemon i like ig this is literally just all pokemon nothing else surprisingly bc i just scrolled thru the dex lmao at fuckin 1am

Eevee(lutions) raichu warturtle hm yeah these are my main favs. Theres also like both gender meowsticks and espurr theyre very cool, klefki i liked later on its really cute, ehh idk, i don’t remember any more on the spot. Scorbunny and the 2nd evo is cool, oh yeah and fenniken and braixen. A lot of my favs are kalos pokemon lol. Yeah. I kinda like greninja too but thats just very much bc of ash greninja and nah i dont wanna count it. Em. Mimikyu. Yeah. I used to like ninetails a bit but not anymore. Dragonair esp shiny is really pretty. Chimecho togetic jirachi. Yeah togetic only im not that big of a fan of togepi. togekiss is cool but not that much. i prefer togetic. Shinx piplup shaymin i like shaymin a lot its so cute. Piplup is partially because dawn has it as starter in anime and shinx is cute and clemont has one and i saw it and was ohh damn thats a cute one. Zorua minchicco cottonee idk how to spell minchicco. Zoruas really cute its a little gremlin. Why the fuck am i going through the dex at 130 am i want to sleep. Fletchingder line i like that theyre pretty. Flabebe is cute and helioptyle?? Is very cool too. Zygard is so cool and litten is cute. Rockruff has cool design and is cute, comfey is something ive liked for some time but never knew its name lmao, sprigatito line is so cute i love them..okaybthats all i have no more. Actually froakie line i like hem all not just greninja theyre just cool. A lot of my favs are cute or fox/cat/dog mixes somewhat lol. Decudieye rowlet final evo idk how tf do you spell pokemon names is really cool too i like the archer design thats all i like bows and arrows hehe. Yeah no more i think, some are like i think there cool but not cool enough to be what i like enough kinda.

Eeveelutions are my top tho. I love them. Ill take anything eevee related. I got meowstick charms at a con, really lucky bc meowstick are soooo underrated. Or kinda more like i never really see stuff that have them. Actually some in the ones i said above arent that fav its like not what id want but theyre cute enough. Togetic chimecho jirachi piplup minchicco cottonee helioptile litten decudyiesye i guess these are kinda those. Actually add tcnick3 to the why i like piplup reasons lmaooo

[ojamajoprincess]

where we are at with my cosplay:

i ran out of sewing momentum so i shifted gears from kuroo yukata.

im cosplaying my own oc as a casual cosplay!

I got the wig and cat ears to baste on. We are going with one black one brown/ calico this time for extra charm >:3

I also purchased a shirt, shoes, bracelets, and a lanyard. I’ll get a pair of straight leg jeans to hem up and cuff into capris since I’ve been wanting to anyway for my everyday wardrobe. And I’d like a green cardigan or hoodie to complete the look.

Shiro is one of my favorite comfort ocs. I have had him/them since I was twelve. They have had many incarnations over the years, but this is the latest anime version, circa 2020.

Shiro Nekozawa, 1st year middle school student, 12, mainly they/them but tbh any pronouns, resident of Japan-based fantasy world:

Here’s the original version…

Shirou Teromi, seventh grader, 12, he/him, Japanese American mutant:

His updated design:

Both of them bring me such joy. I’m so excited to dress up like them for the convention!!!

[bookoformon]

The Book of Mosiah, Chapter 7. "The East Wind."

Ammon finds the land of Lehi-Nephi, where Limhi is king—Limhi’s people are in bondage to the Lamanites—Limhi recounts their history—A prophet (Abinadi) had testified that Christ is the God and Father of all things—Those who sow filthiness reap the whirlwind, and those who put their trust in the Lord will be delivered. About 121 B.C.

Ammon= the nation, made of people familiar with each other, who choose each other.

עמם

The verb עמם ('mm) probably expressed to be inclusive or comprehensive. Its rare uses in the Bible relate to making secrets or making info available to an in-crowd. Preposition עם ('im) means 'with', מעם (me'im) means 'from', and עמה ('umma) means 'beside'. Noun עם ('am) means a people, ranging from all of mankind to the in-crowd of a small village. Noun עם ('am) refers to one's (paternal) kinsman.

Lehi-Nephi= Voice of Reason

Limhi= "to be as a stream"

1 And now, it came to pass that after king Mosiah had had continual peace for the space of three years, he was desirous to know concerning the people who went up to dwell in the land of Lehi-Nephi, or in the city of Lehi-Nephi; for his people had heard nothing from them from the time they left the land of Zarahemla; therefore, they wearied him with their teasings.

2 And it came to pass that king Mosiah granted that sixteen of their strong men might go up to the land of Lehi-Nephi, to inquire concerning their brethren.

This is very much like the story of King David in Chronicles. Sixteen Men represent a reset of society through humility enough to realize we don't know what we are doing or why without the Torah:

The ayin is the sixteenth letter of the alef-beis. According to the AriZal, the ayin is a vav contained in a nun.

The nun represents humility. The vav signifies Torah, which descends from Heaven to earth in its inherent design of a hook or a chute. Vav also has the gematria of six. This represents the Six Orders of the Mishnah, the Oral Law. Only an individual who is unassuming, who has the humility of the nun, is fit to acquire the higher level of the vav, the “crown of Torah.”

3 And it came to pass that on the morrow they started to go up, having with them one Ammon, he being a strong and mighty man, and a descendant of Zarahemla; and he was also their leader.

4 And now, they knew not the course they should travel in the wilderness to go up to the land of Lehi-Nephi; therefore they wandered many days in the wilderness, even forty days did they wander.

5 And when they had wandered forty days they came to a hill, which is north of the land of Shilom, and there they pitched their tents.

The noun שלחן (shulhan) means table. It may actually stem from a whole other but identical verb that originally described the skinning an animal and stretching the hide out to dry. Possibly helped by the previous verb, this outstretching of a hide became attached to the laying down of a blanket (or indeed a hide) in order to stall goods on it (like the elements of a meal). When someone invented a table on legs the word to describe it was lifted from the old custom of picnicking on a blanket: a stretcher-outer.

6 And Ammon took three of his brethren, and their names were Amaleki, Helem, and Hem, and they went down into the land of Nephi.

Amaleki= non-violence

Helem=hammerer

הלם

The verb הלם (halam) means to hammer or smite. Noun הלמות (halmut) means hammer or mallet. Plural noun מהלמות (mahalumot) would literally describe a place or occasion of many hammerings, and refers to a brawl or fist-fight. The noun יהלם (yahalom) denotes some kind of precious gem, but it's not known which one or why it would be known as a hammerer or "it will smite".

Hem=the Utterance, as in to Utter God's Name

7 And behold, they met the king of the people who were in the land of Nephi, and in the land of Shilom; and they were surrounded by the king’s guard, and were taken, and were bound, and were committed to prison.

8 And it came to pass when they had been in prison two days they were again brought before the king, and their bands were loosed; and they stood before the king, and were permitted, or rather commanded, that they should answer the questions which he should ask them.

Two Days=a day of hearing, a day of remembering

9 And he said unto them: Behold, I am Limhi, the son of Noah, who was the son of Zeniff, who came up out of the land of Zarahemla to inherit this land, which was the land of their fathers, who was made a king by the voice of the people.

Zeniff="In the role of the balancer"

The Hebrew word for ear is אזן ('ozen). It comes from the verb אזן ('azan), meaning to balance or equalize. Another noun from this same root, or an identical second one, is מאזן (mo'zen), which describes a merchant's scale or balance. From the word for ear comes the denominative verb אזן ('azan), to harken, which emphasizes the turning of one's face to where sound comes from, rather than obedience to some command.

10 And now, I desire to know the cause whereby ye were so bold as to come near the walls of the city, when I, myself, was with my guards without the gate?

11 And now, for this cause have I suffered that ye should be preserved, that I might inquire of you, or else I should have caused that my guards should have put you to death. Ye are permitted to speak.

12 And now, when Ammon saw that he was permitted to speak, he went forth and bowed himself before the king; and rising again he said: O king, I am very thankful before God this day that I am yet alive, and am permitted to speak; and I will endeavor to speak with boldness;

13 For I am assured that if ye had known me ye would not have suffered that I should have worn these bands. For I am Ammon, and am a descendant of Zarahemla, and have come up out of the land of Zarahemla to inquire concerning our brethren, whom Zeniff brought up out of that land.

14 And now, it came to pass that after Limhi had heard the words of Ammon, he was exceedingly glad, and said: Now, I know of a surety that my brethren who were in the land of Zarahemla are yet alive. And now, I will rejoice; and on the morrow I will cause that my people shall rejoice also.

15 For behold, we are in bondage to the Lamanites, and are taxed with a tax which is grievous to be borne. And now, behold, our brethren will deliver us out of our bondage, or out of the hands of the Lamanites, and we will be their slaves; for it is better that we be slaves to the Nephites than to pay tribute to the king of the Lamanites.

16 And now, king Limhi commanded his guards that they should no more bind Ammon nor his brethren, but caused that they should go to the hill which was north of Shilom, and bring their brethren into the city, that thereby they might eat, and drink, and rest themselves from the labors of their journey; for they had suffered many things; they had suffered hunger, thirst, and fatigue.

17 And now, it came to pass on the morrow that king Limhi sent a proclamation among all his people, that thereby they might gather themselves together to the temple, to hear the words which he should speak unto them.

18 And it came to pass that when they had gathered themselves together that he spake unto them in this wise, saying: O ye, my people, lift up your heads and be comforted; for behold, the time is at hand, or is not far distant, when we shall no longer be in subjection to our enemies, notwithstanding our many strugglings, which have been in vain; yet I trust there remaineth an effectual struggle to be made.

19 Therefore, lift up your heads, and rejoice, and put your trust in God, in that God who was the God of Abraham, and Isaac, and Jacob; and also, that God who brought the children of Israel out of the land of Egypt, and caused that they should walk through the Red Sea on dry ground, and fed them with manna that they might not perish in the wilderness; and many more things did he do for them.

="God of compassion, God of joy, God of fellowship, who brought us out of the darkness of ignorance and past early life, and fed us with the knowledge of our ancestors."

20 And again, that same God has brought our fathers out of the land of Jerusalem, and has kept and preserved his people even until now; and behold, it is because of our iniquities and abominations that he has brought us into bondage.

21 And ye all are witnesses this day, that Zeniff, who was made king over this people, he being over-zealous to inherit the land of his fathers, therefore being deceived by the cunning and craftiness of king Laman, who having entered into a treaty with king Zeniff, and having yielded up into his hands the possessions of a part of the land, or even the city of Lehi-Nephi, and the city of Shilom; and the land round about—

22 And all this he did, for the sole purpose of bringing this people into subjection or into bondage. And behold, we at this time do pay tribute to the king of the Lamanites, to the amount of one half of our corn, and our barley, and even all our grain of every kind, and one half of the increase of our flocks and our herds; and even one half of all we have or possess the king of the Lamanites doth exact of us, or our lives.

23 And now, is not this grievous to be borne? And is not this, our affliction, great? Now behold, how great reason we have to mourn.

24 Yea, I say unto you, great are the reasons which we have to mourn; for behold how many of our brethren have been slain, and their blood has been spilt in vain, and all because of iniquity.

25 For if this people had not fallen into transgression the Lord would not have suffered that this great evil should come upon them. But behold, they would not hearken unto his words; but there arose contentions among them, even so much that they did shed blood among themselves.

26 And a prophet of the Lord have they slain; yea, a chosen man of God, who told them of their wickedness and abominations, and prophesied of many things which are to come, yea, even the coming of Christ.

27 And because he said unto them that Christ was the God, the Father of all things, and said that he should take upon him the image of man, and it should be the image after which man was created in the beginning; or in other words, he said that man was created after the image of God, and that God should come down among the children of men, and take upon him flesh and blood, and go forth upon the face of the earth—

28 And now, because he said this, they did put him to death; and many more things did they do which brought down the wrath of God upon them. Therefore, who wondereth that they are in bondage, and that they are smitten with sore afflictions?

29 For behold, the Lord hath said: I will not succor my people in the day of their transgression; but I will hedge up their ways that they prosper not; and their doings shall be as a stumbling block before them.

30 And again, he saith: If my people shall sow filthiness they shall reap the chaff thereof in the whirlwind; and the effect thereof is poison.

31 And again he saith: If my people shall sow filthiness they shall reap the east wind, which bringeth immediate destruction.

32 And now, behold, the promise of the Lord is fulfilled, and ye are smitten and afflicted.

33 But if ye will turn to the Lord with full purpose of heart, and put your trust in him, and serve him with all diligence of mind, if ye do this, he will, according to his own will and pleasure, deliver you out of bondage.

The East Wind is the one that begins separation from one's parents and oneself, from the complete understanding of why virtue and vice don't mix, of how success and unsuccess depend on dilligence.

When the mind, the self, and the circumstances start to apprehend what is right and wrong. After that, there should be no more filthiness.

[amoristt]

Grazing the Fire | IV

well hello. here i am, four years later, once again enamored with nathan enough to finally dust this baby off and pick up where i left it. im a little rusty so bear with me this chapter! much more to come <3

reblogs + tags and replies will make my entire day as i put a lot of effort into this :)! it also helps motivate me!

story continues beneath the read more. let me know if you can’t access it!

Warning: language, very vague s/a mentions

want to support me? heres my kofi!

__________________________

“Alright class, who can tell me,” A board stick clacks against the chalkboard. “Who can answer problem four?” 

A few hands raise in the corners of your eye, but yours remains atop your desk. Eyes far away, mind in a murky haze and almost completely unaware. All you could focus on were the memories playing on repeat within the confines of your tired, tired brain. Hours ago, you were warm, you were comfortable. Safe.

Cheeks heated to a dusting blush when you remind yourself just how you had awoken that morning. At some point in the night, an angel had blessed you. Allowed you to wake up wrapped around none other than big, bad, Nathan Prescott. Your face nuzzled into his chest, broad but wiry hands pressed firmly over your shoulder and his arm slung over your waist to keep you against him. Thankfully you had been the first to wake up, blinking away the morning sun blazing through his blinds and painting the room stripes of gold. At that moment, before your headache came crashing down onto your skull, you were astounded by him. 

Eye lashes brushing the top of his cheeks, his lips parted ever so slightly, chest rising and falling rhythmically. In that moment, there was no anger, no bitterness. Just a soft and peaceful slumber. It was like being the sole viewer of a magnificent painting- each stroke and detail placed just there just for you to pick out, to remember the curves and sharp edges down to the very foundation. From his unkempt hair down to the way his hand flattened onto the mattress where your indent still lived. Nathan was so beautiful like this. 

For a long time you stayed there. It was as though you were afraid to move- you couldn’t bear to disturb him. You had wondered, if he was always like this, so at peace, what would he be like? Likely soft voiced, mild mannered. He’d do his school assignments without hassle and donate to the charity board. He would wander the town with his friends and listen to music in a beat up truck flying down the stretch of highway overlooking the bold, blue, and beautiful ocean. An entirely different version of himself- carefree, and a fair blue as opposed to a burning flame of red. 

But, if that were the case, you’d never have gotten here. You’d never been both the outsider, and the only seeing eye. A lucky, albeit firstly unwilling witness to the display of depth before you. 

It never hit you like it had quite in that moment how lucky you were.

But- just then- an alarm disturbed what serendipity existed. You nearly leapt out of your skin, clutched your hands to your chest at the sudden sound. A headache wove its way into your once untouched temples. Nathan groaned, mumbled, ‘god damn it’, under his breath, and thus his body was reanimated into life. He rubbed his eyes and he stretched, that familiar scowl coming over his eyes and lips as he took in the sunlight damn near blinding him. A polar opposite to the being you’d appreciated just moments earlier.

“Ugh, fuck, how the fuck is it seven already.” He groaned. “I feel like shit.”

“Well good morning to you too,” You started, welcoming Nathan into the world. “‘I’m feeling pretty shitty as well.” 

You said that, but really… You were more than alright. Your head had hurt, slight nausea crept into the wells of your stomach, but other than that you’re sure you were phenomenally better than you’d have been waking up whereverTate would have left your ass.

“You need to get outta here, before everyone gets up.” Nathan drawled, but he didn’t sound as urgent as you expected him to be. You’d expected him to be angry that you were still in his room, but instead he just… accepted it. 

You snickered, climbing out of his throne of a bed. “Wow, you’re giving me the morning after treatment?” 

“Sure am. Get outta here, whore.”

“Oh fuck you.” 

You located your heels from last night, resting upright near his dorm room door. Heels didn’t sound like the most  practical to sneak out of a dorm with, so you instead opted to grappling them by the straps and carrying them at your side. Hair a mess, outfit riddled with wrinkles and makeup smudged under your eyes, you stood before Nathan in all your glory. He stared at you for a long, odd moment- and you for some reason felt exposed, or even, shy. 

“What?” You ask expectantly, placing a hand on your hip. 

His eyes trail to your line of vision. He shakes his head. “Just thinking about how now you really do look like my morning after.”

“Yeah?” You hummed. “Find it hard to believe you get a lot of those.”

Nathan shoots you a suggestive glance. “You’d be surprised. Everyone wants a piece of Prescott.”

Surely, he was joking, or maybe he wasn’t, but you… Didn’t like hearing that. It made your stomach feel odd, uncomfortably heavy.  As he stood up, reminding you how many inches he had over your size, you swallowed and cleared your throat to flush out that crappy feeling. “Well,” you started, mood having dropped. “I’m gonna go, then.” 

“What got your panties in a twist all the sudden?” He asked, raising a brow and pulling some clothes from his closet, tossing them onto the bed.

The bed you two had shared.

You hated the idea of his morning afters- whoever they may be. 

“Not feeling great. Probably a side effect of the roofies.” You mumbled.

Nathan breathed a laugh. “Probably.”

He seemed so calm, right now. Perhaps due to it being so early, before the outside world had a chance to remind him just why he was so uptight all the tight. Before he needed to be so uptight all the time. He really did have so many versions of himself- all of whom you were slowly becoming familiar with. Compared to the person you’d believed him to be before your run ins, you’d never have assumed someone so dangerous could be so soft as last night, as this morning. In the beginning, you’d feared him. Avoided him like a plague, or a wild animal. Even when you were enraptured in the existence of him, you still wanted to keep away. You’d never have believed someone like you could wake up clutched to his chest, as though he were afraid if he released you, you’d be gone long before he woke. 

Then, a sudden thought struck your mind. 

He’d held you so tight. He’d welcomed you in the morning. No anger, no annoyance. His soft laugh at your banter and taunts. How your heels were standing upright instead of tossed haphazardly into some random corner, where he’d watch your struggle to find. 

How he’d stayed awake to ensure your sleep.

“So are you just gonna stand there?” Nathan called you back to reality, hands gripping the hems of his shirt. “I gotta get ready and you need to wash up so you don’t look like a five dollar stripper.” Cruel words, but with absolutely no bite. You rolled your eyes.

“Yeah. But, hey,” You started. “Thank you for last night.” 

“Yeah, yeah. You gotta start learning to watch your own back.” He says. “There’s gonna be times I won’t be there to drag your ass out of the fire.”

If you’d been charged, if you’d been stricken with a strange defensiveness, you’d have retorted, ‘than stop helping me’, but… Instead you allowed yourself the comfort of protection. You allowed Nathan Prescott to watch you.  

“I know,” You reached for the door. “Thank you.”

With that, you bounded out of the dorm silent as a mouse. 

-----------

In hindsight, you should have left earlier. Class was merely 15 minutes away when you slipped out of Nathan's room and bounded towards the women's dorm. Albeit not exactly a long walk, by the time you discreetly snuck back into your own dorm, you had roughly twenty minutes to somehow pick an outfit from your countless unopened boxes and make yourself even slightly presentable. 

Wiping off whatever make-up you could get and reapplying it, brushing out the tangles of your hair and nearly tearing off your scalp in the process, scattering your nightclothes over your floor and managing to scrounge out a semi-decent outfit for the day… You still looked a mess. If the mirror could laugh, it would have. Black mascara smudges under your eyes and frizzy untreated hair. What a lovely look. 

You’d made it to class just five minutes late, but those five minutes were all it took for all eyes to be on you as you tried to slide into the classroom unnoticed. A couple classmates whispered to their table mates as you passed by, smelling of oversaturated cherry blossom perfume to hopefully cover the scent of alcohol. You sauntered to your seat and sank down with all your weight, suddenly exhausted. You’d made it with just five minutes tainting your record of attendance. The teacher greeted you with a disappointed sigh, and thus, the day began. 

But, it was so hard to focus. All you could think about was Nathan. 

“Alright class, who can tell me,” A board stick clacks against the chalkboard. “Who can answer problem four?” 

You lowered your head. 

“Ah, how about, ___?”

You snaked back into reality, blinking up at the chalk board that was somehow already riddled with math equations. Since you hadn’t been paying attention even in the slightest, your mouth gaped wide open, eyes scanning for something you understood even slightly so you didn’t look like a total idiot. 

Sadly, you were out of luck. The teacher shook his head. “I’m shocked,” He said. “You're normally so on top of things. Oh well.”

“Oh, I’m sure she was on top of things,” A female voice sniggered behind you “Last night.”

Your face flushed a red, hot, ruby. What the hell was she talking about? How had they found out you were with Nathan? You were so sure of being sneaky, there was no way-

“Her and Tate totally got it on last night.”

You whipped around in your seat, facing girls who looked to be clones of some sort. Both with the same dark eyes, short brown hair, and freckles. “What?”

“Alright-” Your teacher blurted. “That's enough. April, May, enough. Let’s not discuss things outside of the classroom.”

The two girls batted their eyes. “Sorry sir.” One spoke, twirling a hand through her hair. Her sister's wide toothy grin never fumbled. 

“Back to it then. Kate, can you help out __ with number four?” 

The small, blonde girl nodded quickly, brushing a lock of hair behind her eyes and offering an empathic nod. 

As you turned around in your seat, her answer fell on deaf ears. Your heart was racing in your chest, hands balled into fists while you stared ahead blankly.  

They couldn’t seriously think that you chose to leave with Tate, could they? Surely someone must have seen the state you were in. Someone other than Nathan.

The clock ticks forward but time feels like it's passing almost unnaturally slow. With just 10 minutes left, you feel your phone vibrate in your pocket.

‘Nathan: consider ur favor officially returned 

Your tongue poked from your lips, the tiniest of smiles taking over your once sullen features. Terrible thoughts and worries flew out the window while you type back, ‘damn. here i was gonna to ask you to do a backflip off the roof with me. there goes my plans.’

Nathan types for a moment. Typing, stopping, typing again. 

‘Nathan: soundz like a blast. where and when?’

A small blush heats your cheeks. ‘very funny. thanks to last night i have an entire 24 hour session of studying to catch up with.’

His response is almost instant. ‘Nathan: boringgg. txt me when ur fun.’

Rolling your eyes, you shove your phone back into your pocket. It seems you’ve been able to secure enough of a friendship with him for some mindless banter even outside your little visits. You smile. He’s… Fun to talk to. Surprisingly. 

Class comes to an end and you start to pack up the books and papers you’d hardly even glanced at the whole period. Whatever had been upsetting you before is lost in your mind while you think of the morning, the night before. All the things in-between. But, your happiness doesn’t last long. As you get up, you’re almost forced right back into your seat as a weight shoves into your shoulder. Your books scatter to the floor. April, the one who’d remarked about you earlier, glares at you in what looks to be disgust. 

“Careful April,” Her sister hums as she saunters past you, keeping distance and raising her already shrill tone of voice. “Might wanna watch where you’re walking- I’d hate for you to catch something from this slut.”

You absolutely gawk at her. “What the fuck did you just say to me?”

April scoffs. “Oh come on, like everyone doesn’t know what you were up to last night.”

“Sleeping around isn’t a good color on you.” May hikes her bag over her shoulder and snickers at you. They both leave the class together, sickeningly in sync. You’re left stunned where you stand, unsure how the hell your life came to this so quickly. How you’ve stooped so low that the daughters of the world's most uncreative parents are able to bully you based on something that didn’t even happen.

Next class goes no better. The person to your right, a jockey looking brunette guy, asks, ‘have you ever heard of a Tate?’. You say no, that that’s the dumbest name you’ve ever heard. The idiot grins and goes back to marking down likely wrong answers on his test sheet and you debate kicking the leg of his chair out- but you don’t to avoid even more eyes on you. It makes you sick to your stomach- even more than recovering from the roofies does. How can everyone believe it? You barely even knew the guy and you were clearly uncomfortable with his advances. No one saw that? 

After everything you’d worked for to build a reputation, trying so hard to not call out peoples shit for the sake of seeming friendly, tainted over something that didn’t even happen? And the kicker was that it hadn’t even been your fault! He’d drugged you, he’d have taken advantage of you! Yet you were the bad person? 

Class came and went in the blink of an eye this time. Your mind wrapped up in the situation, your stomach churning. You wanted the day to be over with but you still had 4 more classes to suffer through. Why was this happening to you? Was Tate being treated just as horribly, or was he getting pats on the backs of his unaware friends?

Wandering down the halls to your locker, you noticed Lance and Kaz hanging around one of the drinking fountains. Your nerves quelled- your friends would surely make you feel much better. Especially since they had witnessed how awful you were feeling as you left. You approach with a relieved smile, ready to say your truth and finally have someone on your side.

“Hey guys.” You smile, but Lance looks down at his feet while Kaz places her hands to his hips. Your smile fades.

“You could have told us you were gonna spend the night with Tate,” Kaz snaps. “You didn’t need to lie like that just to leave. We were all worried about you and it was for nothing.”

“What?” You feel like you could cry. “No, Kaz, I really did try to leave. Tate tried to drug me and take me home, and-”

“He wouldn’t do that.” Lance interrupts, with a frown. He looks back down at the floor with knitted brows. “I’ve known Tate since before time. He wouldn't do something like that, especially not to one of my best friends. Plus he told me he was really into you. Why would he even try?”

“Are you serious?” You sputter. “You think I’d lie about something like that?”

“You’ve been lying about all sorts of things!” Kaz huffs. “What’s going on with you lately? You’ve been so distant, and secretive. What are you hiding that’s making you lie like this? We’re supposed to be your friends and then you lie to our faces just to go and fuck the first guy that shows you attention.”

“What…?” It was like acid. It was like the rug had been pulled from your feet sending you spiraling down the unending cliff. Kaz, your best friend, all that venom. How could they turn against you like this? What the hell is going on? You felt your throat tighten. “Look, I’m sorry if I’ve been distant, but I’m not lying to you, I-”

“We gotta go.” Lance isn’t in the mood to hear it. “We’ll catch up to you.. Some other time.”

Kaz says nothing as she pushes past you. Lance, at least, spares a short glance over his shoulder. You stood there alone in the hallway, your bag falling off your shoulder and clattering onto the floor with a thud echoing off the walls. Everything you had, all gone at once. 

No one believed you.

---------

With nowhere to go where you felt like you could truly allow yourself to process the day's events, you went to the only place you knew. 

Just outside of campus, where rocks lined the edge of the boundary, overlooking the outskirts of the town and the ocean stretching as far as the eye could see. You settled yourself there, staring at the vast waters and wondering how this had all happened. Unlucky didn’t even begin to cover how it felt. Not only did you feel violated with Tate attempting to do unthinkable things with your unconscious body, but you also felt alone, and walked on. Your best friends hadn’t believed you. While Lance seemed saddened, Kaz was so… Angry. Her words cut like knives into your skin. 

It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair. You didn’t deserve this.

You want to talk to Nathan, but knowing him, he’d see your state and bounce instantly. After all, this isn’t exactly very fun of you.

As the sun began to fall, splaying orange and blues over the wide open sky, behind you, you could hear voices. A group of them, some male, some female. Memories of when your notebook had gotten snatched by those two horsed face assholes came flooding back and with all your alertness, you stood up, and decided that this sitting place was no longer safe. Nothing was.

Before you even made it ten feet away, the group had found their way to your spot and gotten comfortable, one of the girls cheering, ‘this’ll be our hangout! look at how pretty the view is!’

You took a short drive down the stretches of road and decided that if you were going to lament in your own sadness, you were at least going to do so in a place that had something to cover the sound of your tears. Plus a nice view.

The beach, littered with its picnic tables and the sounds of crashing waves would suffice just fine. So, you pulled in the desolate parking lot and wandered down the sandy shores until you stumbled upon a picnic table shaded by a large willow cascading lushious branches to block out the sun- a perfect canopy for you to wallow under. 

You had nothing at that moment. No friends, no reputation, no one to believe your tragic tale. And now, you’d just lost the one spot that made you feel comfortable when stress was building into your body like concrete. Tears pricked into the corners of your eyes and you bit your lip, dreading that feeling of a lump in your throat. Why you? Everything had been going so well. How could not even a single person believe that Tate had tried to hurt you?

Well, actually, there was one person.

Of course Nathan believed you. He’d been the one to rescue you, after all. Time and time again it seemed.  How was it that even the ones closest to you would turn their back so fast, yet Nathan seemed to be there even when you didn’t want him to be? Even when you yelled at him, and he yelled right back, fire and sparks falling into embers around the two of you. 

In that moment, you almost felt like you could finally relate to him. A reputation based on lies and things out of your control, paired with a hardheaded attitude to try and combat all the assumptions. 

No wonder he was so angry. 

“Hey bitch,” A voice suddenly called, and you had a split second moment where you were terrified of once again being the victim of a cruel prank or some classmates boredom. “How about next time you have a pity party you don’t fucking call me in the middle of it.”

You blinked away your tears and through the blurriness saw a figure coming towards you. All that sass, the tone...

“Nathan?” You breathed. It only takes moments before he’s in front of you, holding his phone in view, seeing that the call that had been running for nearly ten minute. You flush in embarrassment, pulling your phone from your back pocket. “How did that happen?”

“Well, can your ass dial numbers?” He taunts, ending the call. 

“Damn it, dumb phone must have butt-dialed you. I knew I should’ve gotten a different one.” You mentally kick yourself. “It must have unlocked in my pocket.”

“You don’t have a password on your phone?” He taunts. When you shake your head, he whistles. “You are just begging for a robbery. I’ll keep that in mind when I’m in the mood to send random messages to all your buddies.” 

“Fuck off.” You scowl, and he grins, hopping up on the picnic table next to you. The sun flatters his skin. He’s almost glowing. 

“Speaking of buddies, how the hell did it pick my number out of your sea of friends?”

You shrug. “Probably cuz’ it’s a priority contact.” 

“Oh lala, I’ve been upgraded to priority huh? Does it display a superman logo whenever you give it a ring?”

“Nope. When I press call it rings the nearest asshole in my vicinity. The fact that it’s you is your own problem.”

“Haha, fucking ha.” He leans forward and rests his elbows on his knees. He stares out at the water, watching waves pull and crash onto the beach. It’s almost beautiful, until he ruins it. “Yknow, you’re a really ugly crier.”

“Wow, thanks.” You shake your head. “That's exactly what I needed to hear right now. Why did you even stay on the line?.” Wiping your eyes, you start to forget your tears. “Couldn’t have been that wild of a conversation.”

Nathan shrugs. “Between the crying and the sound of the waves it was pretty nice.” He grins. “Very educational.” 

“Awesome. Glad I was able to make your day.” It doesn’t feel like your usual bitey remarks. You’re tired, you’re still a little hurt and you can’t stop thinking about how such an amazing morning had turned into such a horrible day.

“So what’s got you all fucked up? Never seen you act like this big of a baby before.”

“Nothing. You already paid off your debt to me per this morning, so feel free to resume our regularly scheduled mutual hatred.” You say, lying through your teeth. You know you’re both past the point of hatred, but you’re feeling jaded, you can’t help it. 

“Oh shut the fuck up,” He groans. “I didn’t drag my ass all the fucking way out to this shit hole of a beach just for you to give me that bullshit. What, did you fail a test? No one matched you on tinder?”

“Everyone thinks me and Tate slept together last night.” You blurt. “I think he’s telling people me and him had sex.”

Nathan tenses his shoulders and grimaces. “Fucking werido.”

“I told my best friends that he tried to take advantage of me and they don’t believe me. One of em’ even said he wouldn’t do something like that.”

“Fuck em’. Who needs best friends.”

“And to make everything so much better, these two bitches that I share four of my classes with harassed me all goddamn day. I mean, fucks sake, how the hell are girls named April and May of all things able to get to me. It’s bullshit. And to make matters worse, Tate is just… Getting away with it.”

“Yeah well, something tells me that Tate’s gonna get a real nice fucking taste of medicine eventually. I just gotta find him first. He’s got a lot of nerve spreading shit around given I knocked his ass onto the pavement.” Nathan brows knit at the memory.

You test the waters. “Why would you do that for me?”

He seems caught off guard, or maybe, surprised that you’d ask. Maybe he thinks you’re both beyond that point. He grumbles, “Why does it matter.”

“I’m just curious. We don’t owe each other anything, remember?”

“Yeah, well,” He huffs. “Don’t ask me questions to shit I don’t know the answer to.”

“You say that an awful lot.” You tease.

“Yeah well you ask dumbass questions an awful lot. Not everything I do has to have some weird ass motives behind it, ___. Maybe I’ve got beef with Tate that’s outside of you.”

“Uhuh. Sure.” You’re about to say something else, when your phone lights up with a text. The display makes your heart fall all over again. 

Unknown Number: you should just pack up and go somewhere else. no one wants std’s from breathing your air xoxo

You don’t even know who that is. Now absolute strangers are on your case. You want to throw your phone into the ocean and leave.

Nathan scoffs. “Don’t even bat a fucking eye for that bitch, whoever the hell they are. Half the hoes you’ve mentioned have slept with half the football team,” he pinches his jacket, “and I would know.”

“Ew, Nathan,” You grimace, that same feeling from the morning returning. It feels, oddly, like jealousy.  He nudges your arm with his elbow and grins playfully. It’s cute.

“Chill, I’m just fucking with you. You gotta know even I wouldn’t fuck girls that desperate. I’m a man of class.”

That last comment actually forces a laugh from you. It’s soft, but it’s real. The first laugh you’ve genuinely had all day. “That’s horrible.” You remark, giggling again.

It's almost like the slight restoration of your mood puts him at ease as well. He leans back on his hands and stares off into the ocean, those sparkling waters under the setting, orange sun. “I’m for real though. Those hoes aren’t worth your time. One day when we blow this shithole of a town they’re not even gonna matter.”

Your brows knit, eyes blinking up at him. Had you heard that right? 

“We?” You ask, perplexed, albeit a little… Hopeful.

Nathan sputters. “Well- Like, when everyone’s older and-”

“You know what, it's fine.” You interrupt. “Fuck it. You’re right. We’re gonna blow this town and they’re just gonna be some shitty memories.”

He sucks in a shaky breath. You’ve never heard him scramble like that, like he’s been unmasked. The look he casts you when you agree, when you don’t tease or patronize and finally hop on the idea that yeah, what if the two of you really didn’t have to deal with it anymore.

What if the two of you could just exist, without the anger. 

You look up at him. “Would you actually do that though?” You start. “With me, of all people?”

He swallows. His expression is tense, but he’s not upset. He appears nervous, caught off guard. Nathan tries, “I-”

Your phone rings. Shrill, piercing. Mood destroying. 

“Jesus Christ, it’s my mom.” You grab your phone and Nathan looks forward, stone faced and silent as you hop off the table and answer. It’s your mother, who all but shouts into the phone that her and your father are taking a surprising visit to Arcadia Bay while they’re traveling by on their vacation. She insists that you be ready in about an hour for dinner, and likely there will be family photos. 

Which means if you still look as wrecked as you did this morning, you’re gonna have a lot of washing up to do. With a quick goodbye, a short and sweet, ‘love you’, you hang up and sigh. 

“You still tell your mom you love her?” He teases. “What are you, five?”

You frown. “You don’t tell your parents you love them?”

Nathan side eyes you, and just shrugs. It is all the answer you need, really, and for his sake you decide it wouldn’t be best to press the issue. Not now. But- it still makes your heart hurt just a little. You wished that he’d had it better growing up. 

“Right… Do you want a ride home?”

“Fuck no, what am I,” He shoves his hands into his pockets. “a fucking girl scout?” 

“I was just offering, weirdo.” When he doesn't get up, you feel like you’re missing out. Like if you stayed, maybe, just maybe, you’d get to know him a little better. “Hey, if you want, I can stay for a bit longer.”

He rolls his eyes. “You’re needed elsewhere. But,” he shrugs. “I don’t know. Fuckin’... Text me or something. Or not, I don’t care either way.”

There’s a small warmth in your chest that rises to your cheeks. He wants you to text him. “Yeah,” You say. “If I’m feeling fun.”

And with that, you bid him farewell, beginning your descent to the parking lot. 

“Hey,” He calls, and you turn just in time to catch a small item he’s tossed right at you. A tiny key resides in the palm of your hand. “Spare. If shit hits the fan again-...” He shrugs, and actually looks away. “Just don’t be too fucking loud of I’ll kick your ass out myself. No Madison needed.”

The widest grin plays over your lips. “I’m gonna re-decorate your room while you’re gone.”

“Ah, you fucking better not.” He shouts. “Actually- you know what, give it back.” 

“No, no! I’m sorry.” You play with the key between your fingers. “Thanks for this.”

“Yeah, whatever. Don’t lose it and remember- emergencies only. I don’t need you watching me sleep like fucking freak. We’re past that stage.” 

“How many times will I have to say I was never watching you. Christ… But, alright. See ya, then.” The key is heavy in your palm. 

You place it into your pocket and give him one last glance before you take off, leaving him to enjoy the sound of waves, birds, and the absence of your tears.