#and also because obi-wan is showing him that padmé lacked creativity

[ragnarlothcat]

Too big to fail? :)

I first started writing this fic like 3 years ago, I think because of a tumblr ask (although the terrible title is all me). The discussion was that there are many delightful Big Dick Obi-Wan fics but comparatively few Big Dick Anakin fics. This is largely because Ewan keeps taking his pants off so we all know what he looks like and Hayden is comparatively modest (to my eternal chagrin), but I still thought it'd be fun to mix things up a little.

So it's immediately post AOTC and Anakin is on his way back from Naboo where we all know he and Padmé were getting secret married. But Anakin returns in a foul mood and Obi-Wan eventually learns that the relationship fell apart, at least partially because Anakin and Padmé were in some way sexually incompatible. Obi-Wan becomes fixated on this and eventually shows Anakin a) that there are many different ways to have sex and b) that he doesn't need anyone other than his master to take care of him.

This bit is from the pre-smut beginning because everything else is still in the unattributed dialogue phase, so:

Obi-Wan saw the way his Padawan fell all over himself in Senator Amidala’s apartment and felt a frisson of unease, and not only because Anakin’s seduction tactics could best be described as the conversational equivalent of vomiting all over her shoes.

No, Obi-Wan recognized the interest in the senator’s gaze despite Anakin’s foolishness, and saw it magnified tenfold in the aftermath of Geonosis. In the tender way she soothed him, touched Anakin’s bicep right above the cauterized stump of his arm as though she had any right���

Obi-Wan reproached Yoda harshly for sending Anakin off with Padmé again so soon when the brewing attachment between the pair was plain for anyone to see. Yes, Anakin should be strong enough in his morals and his commitment to the Jedi to keep things with Senator Amidala strictly professional but his Padawan is just a boy and it’s no weakness that he still needs his master’s guidance.

Master Yoda, the unhelpful old gremlin, had only hummed and assured Obi-Wan that the Force would handle the situation.

Obi-Wan respects Yoda (gremlin comments notwithstanding) but in this instance he must disagree. Obi-Wan has spent the past ten years trying to teach, guide and temper his Padawan and knows that the infinite wisdom of the Force won’t be enough to keep Anakin’s recklessness under control. Anakin is simply too much for anyone to handle.

Anyone except Obi-Wan.

[gffa]

Star Wars: The Clone Wars – Stories of Light and Dark, coming August 25, promises to be a beautiful tribute to the just-completed animated series. The anthology will collect 11 stories by 11 authors — Lou Anders, Preeti Chhibber, Zoraida Córdova, Jason Fry, Rebecca Roanhorse, Greg Van Eekhout, Tom Angleberger, E. Anne Convery, Sarah Beth Durst, Yoon Ha Lee, and Anne Ursu — including 10 retellings of memorable episodes and arcs and one original Nightsisters-based story.  So if you loved the tales of Ahsoka, Maul, and clanker-busting clones, Star Wars: The Clone Wars – Stories of Light and Dark will give you the chance to experience them again in a whole new way. Like Captain Rex on a recon mission, StarWars.com reached out to each author to learn why they love The Clone Wars, and which stories they’re telling. Lou Anders (“Dooku Captured” and “The Gungan General,” based on the episodes of the same name): I love The Clone Wars for expanding the story of Anakin’s fall from grace. Skywalker really shines in the series, and we see what he truly was, and what he could have been, and by giving him so many opportunities to excel in the early season, his ultimate fate is that much more tragic. I also love the series for gifting us my all-time favorite Star Wars character, and one of my favorite characters from any universe — Hondo Ohnaka!      My chapter is a retelling of the first season story arc that plays out across the episodes “Dooku Captured” and “The Gungan General.” I wanted to explore this storyline because I find Count Dooku a fascinating character. Sometimes pure, mustache-twirling, mwa-ha-ha evil can actually be boring to write, but a villain who feels they are justified, either because of perceived slights or intellectual superiority or the failure of their rivals or birthright are much more interesting, and Dooku is a bit of all of this. For research, I obviously watched tons of Clone Wars. But I also read up on everything about Dooku I could find, and I listened to Christopher Lee and Corey Burton’s interpretation of the character over and over, trying to internalize their speech patterns. Dooku is so gorgeously supercilious. It was just a blast to get in his head and see the world from his perspective. (And the fact that the storyline gave me another chance to write for my beloved Hondo Ohnaka was an added bonus!) Tom Angleberger (“Bane’s Story,” based on the episodes “Deception,” “Friends and Enemies,” “The Box,” and “Crisis on Naboo”): There’s a lot to love in The Clone Wars, but I think it’s Ahsoka’s arc that really stands out the most. Ventress’s arc does, too, and the way that these arcs cross at the just the right moment is really great Star Wars!      My chapter is based on the “Crisis on Naboo” story arc. It’s basically a Space Western. The baddest bounty hunter of them all, Cad Bane, is hired to kidnap the Chancellor. What he doesn’t know is that almost everyone is lying to him, especially a fellow bounty hunter who is really Obi-Wan in disguise. In the TV version, we see it all from Obi-Wan’s point of view, so we know that Bane is getting played. In this retelling, we see it all from Bane’s point of view and, boy, is he going to be mad! To prepare I watched both The Clone Wars AND old spaghetti Westerns starring Bane’s inspiration: Lee Van Cleef. Preeti Chhibber (“Hostage Crisis,” based on the episode of the same name): I love the story that the prequels tell, but because of the nature of what they were trying to do — tell a decade and a half worth of story in three films — we’re missing major moments in what the war really means to the galaxy at large, and in the Skywalker saga itself. The Clone Wars tells us that part of the narrative, it gives us the shape of what entire populations of people had to go through because of this war manufactured by the ultimate evil. And within that scope gives us the hope and love and beautiful tragedy we associate with Star Wars on a larger scale. (Also, Ahsoka Tano — The Clone Wars gave us Ahsoka Tano and for that I will be ever grateful.)      I’m writing Anakin’s story during “Hostage Crisis” — an episode in the first season of The Clone Wars. I decided to write the story entirely from Anakin’s perspective, which meant being inside his head before the fall, but where we are starting to see more of the warning signs. And then there’s also the romance of this episode! Anakin’s love for Padmé is real and all-consuming and, as we eventually find out, unhealthy. So, this is a romantic episode, but one that shows us Anakin is ruled by his heart. And that that’s a dangerous thing for a Jedi. In order to best wrap my own head around what was going on, I watched the episode itself several times, and read the script, and then I watched the chronological episodes of Anakin’s run-ins with Cad Bane, so I could get a real feel for where he was with his understanding of Bane’s character. E. Anne Convery (“Bug,” based on the episode “Massacre”): I love it because I think it’s a story that manages, while still being a satisfying adventure, to not glorify war. It does this mainly by following through on the arcs of wonderful, terrifying, funny, fallible, and diverse characters. From the personal to the political, The Clone Warsredefines the ways, big and small, that we can be heroes.      My chapter is the “original” tale, though it still touches on The Clone Wars Season Four episode “Massacre,” with brief appearances by Mother Talzin and Old Daka. If I had to boil it down, I’d say that it’s a story about mothers and daughters. Honestly, it felt a little like cheating, because writing new characters meant I got to be creative in the Star Wars universe somewhat unencumbered by what’s come before. I did, however, have several long text chats with Sam Witwer because I was interested in Talzin’s motivations. We talked about stuff like her capacity (or lack thereof) for love. I think I came away thinking she was more a creature driven by issues of power, control, and the desire for revenge, whereas Sam was a little kinder to her. I mean, he is her “son,” so you can’t really blame him for wanting to think better of her! I always love a story within a story, and I was interested in the space where the high mythology of Star Wars and the home-spun mythology of fairy tales could intersect. I drew on my own background in mythology, psychology, and the language of fairy tales, plus I did my Star Wars research. Re-watching the Nightsisters episodes was just plain fun. Zoraida Córdova (“The Lost Nightsister,” based on the episode “Bounty”): The Clone Wars deepens the characters we already love. It gives us the opportunity to explore the galaxy over a longer period of time and see the fight between the light and the dark side. Star Wars is about family, love, and hope. It’s also incredibly funny and that’s something that The Clone Wars does spectacularly. We also get to spend more time with characters we only see for a little bit in the movies like Boba Fett, Bossk, Darth Maul!      My chapter follows Ventress after she’s experienced a brutal defeat. Spoiler alert: she’s witnessed the death of her sisters. Now she’s on Tatooine and in a rut. She gets mixed up with a bounty hunter crew led by Boba Fett. Ventress’s story is about how she goes from being lost to remembering how badass she is. I watched several episodes with her in it, but I watched “Bounty” about 50 times. Sarah Beth Durst (“Almost a Jedi,” based on the episode “A Necessary Bond”): I spent a large chunk of my childhood pretending I was training to become a Jedi Knight, even though I’d never seen a girl with a lightsaber before. And then The Clone Wars came along and gave me Ahsoka with not one but TWO lightsabers, as well as a role in the story that broadened and deepened the tale of Anakin’s fall and the fall of the Jedi. So I jumped at the chance to write about her for this anthology.      In my story, I wrote about Ahsoka Tano from the point of view of Katooni, one of the Jedi younglings who Ahsoka escorts on a quest to assemble their first lightsabers, and it was one of the most fun writing experiences I’ve ever had! I watched the episode, “A Necessary Bond,” over and over, frame by frame, studying the characters and trying to imagine the world, the events, and Ahsoka herself through Katooni’s eyes. The episode shows you the story; I wanted to show you what it feels like to be inside the story. Greg van Eekhout (“Kenobi’s Shadow,” based on the episode “The Lawless”): What I most love about Clone Wars is how we really get to know the characters deeply and see them grow and change.      I enjoyed writing a couple of short scenes between Obi-Wan and Anakin that weren’t in the episode. I wanted to highlight their closeness as friends and show that Anakin’s not the only Jedi who struggles with the dark side. There’s a crucial moment in my story when Obi-Wan is close to giving into his anger and has to make a choice: Strike out in violence or rise above it. It’s always fun to push characters to extremes and see how they react. Jason Fry (“Sharing the Same Face,” based on the episode “Ambush”): I love The Clone Wars because it made already beloved characters even richer and deepened the fascinating lore around the Jedi and the Force.      I chose Yoda and the clones because the moment where Yoda rejects the idea that they’re all identical was one of the first moments in the show where I sat upright and said to myself, “Something amazing is happening here.” You get the entire tragedy of the Clone Wars right in that one quick exchange — the unwise bargain the Jedi have struck, Yoda’s compassion for the soldiers and insistence that they have worth, the clones’ gratitude for that, and how that gratitude is undercut by their powerlessness to avoid the fate that’s been literally hard-wired into them. Plus, though I’ve written a lot of Star Wars tales, I’d never had the chance to get inside Yoda’s head. That had been on my bucket list! Yoon Ha Lee (“The Shadow of Umbara,” based on the episodes “Darkness on Umbara,” “The General,” “Plan of Dissent,” and “Carnage of Krell”): I remember the first time I watched the “Umbara arc” — I was shocked that a war story this emotionally devastating was aired on a kids’ show. But then, kids deserve heartfelt, emotionally devastating stories, too. It was a pleasure to revisit the episodes and figure out how to retell them from Rex’s viewpoint in a compact way. I have so much respect for the original episodes’ writer, Matt Michnovetz — I felt like a butcher myself taking apart the work like this! Rebecca Roanhorse (“Dark Vengeance,” based on the episode “Brothers”): I always love a backstory and Clone Wars was the backstory that then became a rich and exciting story all its own. The writing and character development is outstanding and really sucks you into the world.      I chose to write the two chapters that reintroduce Darth Maul to the world. We find him broken and mentally unstable, not knowing his own name but obsessed with revenge against Obi-Wan and we get to see him rebuild himself into a cruel, calculating, and brilliant villain. It was so much fun to write and I hope readers enjoy it. Anne Ursu (“Pursuit of Peace,” based on the episode “Heroes on Both Sides”): The Clone Wars creates a space for terrific character development. The attention paid to the relationships between Anakin and Obi-Wan, and Anakin and Ahsoka make for really wonderful and resonant stories, and give so much depth to the whole universe.      I was at first a little scared to write Padmé, as her character felt pretty two dimensional to me. But the more I watched her episodes in Clone Wars, the more dimension she took on. She’s such an interesting character — she’s both idealistic and realistic, so when corruption runs rampant in the Senate she doesn’t get disillusioned, she just fights harder. She has an ability to deal with nuance in a way that is rare in the Republic — and it means she’s not afraid to bend a few laws to make things right. In this chapter, the Senate is about to deregulate the banks in order to fund more troops, and Padmé decides to take matters into her own hand and sneak into Separatist territory in order to start peace negotiations. Of course, neither Dooku nor the corrupt clans of the Republic are going to allow for this to happen, so the threats to the peace process, the Republic, and Padmé’s life only grow. This arc is the perfect distillation of Padmé’s character, and it made getting into her head for it fairly simple. But I did watch all the Padmé Clone Wars episodes and read E.K. Johnston’s book about her, as well as Thrawn: Alliances, in which she has a major storyline. I really loved writing her. Star Wars: The Clone Wars – Stories of Light and Dark arrives August 25 and is available for pre-order now.

[pumpkinparade]

Palpatine, Obi-wan, and tea

So, this is a very stupid idea, but I needed to get it out of my head before I did something extreme like writing fanfic. As a heads up, I've used real-world meanings for various details since there presumably isn't a Star Wars equivalent.

The story begins when Anakin is late for a social engagement. Both Palpatine and Obi-wan are anticipating his appearance. The Sith lord presents a kindly and patient front but fumes at this egregious waste of his time internally while the Jedi pushes his dissatisfaction into the force. He disapproves of the Chancellor, but his former padawan's discourtesy is off-putting. The fact that he has put the Chancellor of the Republic on hold merely aggravated the situation.

The Jedi informs the politician that Skywalker should arrive shortly. He doesn't. The chosen one is with Padmé at present and has forgotten he's meant to be elsewhere. Kenobi ultimately invites Palpatine to offers him some tea aboard his ship while they delay action until Anakin materializes.

Normally, Jedi eschew worldly possessions, but Kenobi owns an old miniature tea set that once belonged to Qui Gon. His tea supplies are generally supplied by colleagues who offer him the leaves when he's not on Coruscant. The ship is equipped with an electric tea kettle and a portable Hot Plate for cooking. He goes about preparing Green tea for both of them when he remembers the Sencha, while excellent in quality, has since gone somewhat stale. It hasn't gone bad, but it has lost some of its fresh flavours.

Jedi are practical(in theory), and tea can be costly.

Lower-income individuals in certain Asian countries have roasted stale green tea to enhance the taste. As this is an accepted practice, he takes the loose leaf tea in his possession, grounds, roasts, and serves it with minimal preamble. Palpatine debates whether or he'll actually drink peasant tea. When Anakin appears, apologizing profusely for the delay before noticing his ex-teacher has brewed tea and claims a cup for himself, supplementing copious amounts of sugar. On Skywalker's recommendation, the Sith decides to take a chance. It's not bad, so he compliments it. The evening wraps up without an event. http://mattchasblog.blogspot.com/2012/05/experiments-with-re-roasting-stale.html?m=1

Later on, the bureaucrat invites the Jedi to attend a senate afternoon tea party. It's an opulent affair. Flowering (Gyokuro) tea with Jasmine flowers bloomed within transparent glass teapots sat next to elegantly designed tiered trays. On hundreds of tables, they rested; the flat surfaces were loaded with the first, second, and third courses, from petite pastries on the top to the tiny tea sandwiches on the bottom, the aggregate sum had been skillfully prepared for the guests. Palpatine had the wherewithal to afford a party grand enough to unsettle a Jedi. To his delight, he had succeeded.

Nearly everyone in attendance had been bequeathed a box of 16 Jasmine Pearls green tea blooms, the dried bundled ball of tea leaves and flowers would open like a plant in "bloom" when placed in hot water.  

Kenobi had "accidentally" received 17,  an unlucky number. In Roman numerals, 17 is XVII. One anagram for XVII is VIXI. In Latin, vixi means "I have lived," the implication being that the person(Obi-wan) is now dead. Jasmine is a plant that symbolizes purity and takes its name from the Persian word "Yasmine". This term translates to "gift from God". Put together; your death is a gift from God(the Sith'ari). Darth Sidious finds himself deeply amusing.

Obi-wan is grateful for the tea, especially since he's recently finished off his supply and always felt sheepish defending the expenditure to the Council. Official regulation dictates that he's not permitted to keep the gift. However, Jedi can distribute the donations to others in the order or, better still, add it to the communal ownership and shared at the temple. There are enough in the box for all parties to experience the high-end tea, so he gladly donates it to the Jedi temple and appreciates it along with everyone else.  When Sidious hears what happened to his gift, he's pleased his secret message was brought to the rest of the Jedi as well.

Obi-Wan is averse to socializing with lawmakers in general and Palpatine in particular. Still, he makes a mental note to invite Chancellor to have tea with him again next time Anakin has them waiting for him as recognition for the expensive gift. Nevertheless, the opportunity doesn't come along until a few months later. Thankfully this time, the tea isn't stale. Unknown to Obi-wan, Anakin is in the middle of winning an illegal pod race. Skywalker wanted to purchase a present for Ahsoka, but as a Jedi, the lack of personal funds to his name meant he had to be creative if he wanted to show the people that meant the most to him how much he loved them, rules against attachments be damned.

This time he has Maghrebi mint tea. Traditionally the drink is sweetened, but he hasn't used sweetener. There is a bowl of rock sugar grown in the shape of tiny purple lightsabers on the counter. It was available if either party wanted to utilize the sweetener. The ingredients, as well as the tea, had come from Mace Windu.

Jedi were generally not meant to accept gifts from clients unless it's culturally necessary for them to do so. The tea was a regifted thank you gift from an ambassador. As the items couldn't be shared equally with everyone, Mace decided Obi-wan, as Anakin's minder had a more significant need for it.

After all the passive-aggressive messages he'd sent at the party, Sidious isn't expecting anything to receive any in return but still looks for any possible messages Obi-Wan might covertly send him through the tea anyway.

His actions don't seem to convey a particular message... unless Kenobi considered serving him a herbal tea that also happens to be an appetite suppressant is a message. Perhaps he intended to inform the wealthy politician that the Jedi felt Palpatine's tea party Palpatine had been too lavish and wanted him to know he'd offended the man utilitarian sensibilities, but that was likely a reach.

The tea itself was one of hospitality, meant to welcome guests by the male head of a family. As Kenobi poured the tea in three rounds as expected of tradition, he wondered if he had missed something and resolves to reflect on it more in the future. Each of the three rounds poured has a different meaning: life, love and death. The sugar represents the sweet aspects of life, and Sidious wonders as the sugar dissolves within his cup if the Jedi is aware of what he's saying about his life by going without it.

The Chancellor certainly knows the symbolism of prolonging the second cup to avoiding the third. Love as a concept was not something he neither wanted nor needed, but he had no fear of it. He drank to the idea without hesitance. If he played his cards right, Anakin's love would pave the way for the ascendancy of the Sith. As for death, he had designs on immortality. He would pass on even the metaphorical notion of his own demise.

When Anakin arrived, he doesn't go for any of the tea. He's tried the tea Mace had given his former master. It's tolerable, yet he has another target. Instead, he seizes the rock candy and laughs when Obi-wan protested that grinding on the purple sugar crystals might ruin his teeth. Nevertheless, he drops the bowl back on the counter after taking two and takes off with Palpatine.

Obi-wan is surprised the next day when the Chancellor has a package delivered that contains four(because four means death) kombucha starter kits(kombucha was considered to have "yang" energy in traditional Chinese medicine) and silver needle tea. As before, Obi-Wan gives the white tea to the temple, but he feels self-conscious. This incident marks the second time the Chancellor has given him something extravagant, and he feels like there are strings attached to the gift even if the politician hasn't said as much.

Politicians don't give gifts without reason—especially politicians who are not friends with the receiver.

Uncomfortable by the thought, he waited until one of his friends gifts him with tea.  It's Bant who visits him first—intending to give her friend Pu'er tea(flavoured with dried honey ginger chamomile) she'd received at a medical conference. Obi-wan explains the situation and asks if he can send the tea to the diplomat as a sign of gratitude. Bant isn't bothered by the question and wishes him success.

Little does he know that although he intended nothing untoward with his regift, Palpatine had, after considering the possible implications, managed to be offended by it. Pu'er tea was often used to treat hangovers(among other things). His former teacher, Darth Plagueis, had once kept several kilos of it in his home. The muun would consume premium Poo Poo Pu-Erh Tea the morning after he'd had a night of excess on Sullustan wine. After he'd given the Jedi kombucha, a very mildly alcoholic beverage, he'd apparently proceeded to criticize the gift by implying he (Sidious) was a drunk who needed it. Indicating he shared the same weakness that had gotten the deceased Sith Lord murdered was exasperating, even if Obi-wan couldn't have identified the reason.

And that's when the situation becomes, for lack of a better word,"serious". Obi-wan thinks they're exchanging gifts, almost they're friends, but he's becoming increasingly frustrated because they're uneasy allies at best. Still, he doesn't want to feel like he owes the Chancellor anything, so the cycle begins anew. His financial circumstances still haven't changed, so he's been forced to regift a few presents from his friends to have something to present to the politician who won't leave him alone.

Kenobi is frustrated by this. He already spoke of the issue with several of his friends. Usually an honest man, he felt compelled to share what might happen to tea they might give him. Always while out of Anakin's earshot. They're sympathetic but unsure what could be done about the man who holds so much power, especially considering the relationship his former padawan has developed with the politician. It's difficult to entirely avoid the man without avoiding Skywalker, who would notice any attempts at evasion and likely take umbrage, even if the Chancellor did not.

Palpatine, for his part, is honestly surprised to learn how very snide Obi-wan appears. He can sense the Jedi's frustration building and is aware it's related to the tea. That said, he hasn't guessed the actual cause. Instead, he believes Kenobi has managed to guess at the intent of his gift and is ostensibly reacting to the Chancellor's actual message.

Amused, he no longer sends veiled death threats. If he does it one time too many time, someone at the temple, likely Yoda, will start asking awkward questions he doesn't want to answer. Yet, he continues to send hidden messages with the intent of antagonizing the Jedi as he proceeds to misread the situation. As the other Force-user's better, Darth Sidious refuses to be out-performed in a game of pettiness by Obi-wan Kenobi.

Anakin assumes they're just two older men who love tea and have found a way to bond over that. He's pleased to finally witness two people he respects burying the hatchet and getting along. Ahsoka doesn't have the heart to tell him that Obi-wan is not happy with whatever madness he's been dropped into. Madame has resigned herself to remaining silent regarding her husband's bond with her former friend. She no longer trusts the Chancellor and knows bringing up her feelings with Skywalker will only end in arguments with the man she loves.

Matters take a turn for the weird when Obi-wan receives cacao maca tea from Quinlan Vos. His fellow Jedi had gotten it from a secret admirer with a crush. After tests came back proving it wasn't poisoned, he'd given the herbal tea to his tea-loving friend.

Like most of the gifts he'd received lately, obi-wan presents it Palpatine. He wouldn't have the ability to keep up with the bizarre back and forth otherwise. He doesn't have the money. He's thankful his friends understand how much he dislikes the idea of being beholden to Palpatine and encourage his efforts to circumvent it.

What he'd failed to account for was the reaction he'd spark by presenting a herbal tea that was viewed, by some, to be an aphrodisiac. Obi-wan himself hasn't realized he'd done anything problematic. Vos hadn't mentioned maca had a reputation because he hadn't known himself. When he'd dropped it off, he'd simply named the vitamins the healers had said it contained.

Palpatine is confused. He's politically powerful and comes from a wealthy family, so it's hardly the first time anyone has been interested in pursuing him. However! Just the other month, they'd been politely abusing one another. There hadn't been any reason for the change.  

Sidious can't decide Obi-wan attempting to insult his virility since maca is reported to help with reproductive health or if the Jedi is propositioning him. He hadn't thought Kenobi was interested in hate-based romantic overtures. That said, making mockeries of a sexual nature is astonishingly inappropriate given their positions. He wasn't offended, the possible slight was far too childish for him to take it sincerely, but he hadn't taken the General as the type of man who would make the insult in the first place. Complicating matters is the fact that the General is Anakin's former master.

He's hesitant to assume the situation would work out in his favour if the Jedi is twitterpated and if he should allow it... whatever it was, to persist. Would developing a relationship with Kenobi hasten Skywalker's fall to the dark side, or would the interaction convince the boy to turn his back on Darth Sidious.

Sexual relationships were irrational, messy little things and far more unpredictable than pretended friendship. He tended to avoid non-transactional sex due to the wildly unpredictable nature of the beast. If an uncompensated connection didn't service his ambition, didn't cultivate his power or influence, it was deemed irrelevant and discarded. An ill-defined situation occupied a troublesome grey area he despised, leaving him in something of a quandary on how to advance his agenda. Sidious knew he'd have to adopt a resolution expeditiously, and that inaction was as much a choice as any other.

[thewhills]

STARWARS.COM: “The Gathering,” in which young Jedi have to find their lightsaber crystals, and the depiction of lightsaber construction.

DAVE FILONI: “The Gathering” really, I think, was George’s effort to clarify the way he felt Jedi got their lightsabers, and he felt that it was something that happened when they were very young. He definitely threw us all a curve when told us that the crystals don’t have a color until the Jedi actually have them. And then I thought that that was really interesting. That’s one of those things that only comes from George, when you’re going to the mind of the Star Wars encyclopedia. It makes sense, because if an average person goes in that cave, there’s tons of ice and tons of crystals and you can’t tell the difference between them. It’s almost like a defense mechanism. But when a Jedi is in tune with one, the one that calls to them, they can find it. And then when they have it, it basically will make a blade when it’s bent a certain color. I thought that was one of the nice revelations there.

I also liked that it was a very spiritual thing. The threat in that cave is basically only what you take with you, which is exactly what Yoda tells Luke. It makes sense for these very young children.

It’s come up since then. I’ve been asked, “So what do Jedi do if they lose their lightsaber later?” Well, A) they’re not supposed to lose their lightsaber, but B) there are enough lightsabers that have gone from fallen Jedi over the many, many, many years, that they actually have lightsaber crystals at the Temple. So they don’t have to actually go all the way back out to Illum to get one, and because it’s a fallen Jedi they can actually use that crystal and it will work for them.

The whole attunement and everything is just a special moment for them as a child to get in tune with the Force. It’s not so much being in tune with your lightsaber. That’s a big thing that we all make a mistake on, is that we get very attached to our lightsabers. [Laughs] “Oh my gosh, I have to have one.” But remember, they’re Jedi. A lightsaber is just a thing. It’s not Excalibur, it’s not like an ultimately super-special thing. It is to us, because we make it a symbol when we watch the movie and Luke is given his father’s lightsaber. That lightsaber is a little more meaningful because it was his father’s. But you notice when Luke loses it…

STARWARS.COM: He doesn’t freak out.

DAVE FILONI: He doesn’t go on some journey down in Cloud City to go get his lightsaber, and he doesn’t even super-lament the fact that he lost his lightsaber. I mean, we were probably more upset as kids that he lost his lightsaber. [Laughs] All those things kind of came up in our telling of the tale of lightsabers, and George had a lot of thoughts about that. It all comes back to selfish versus selflessness. That’s always a key thing when dealing with Jedi and Sith, and I think that’s expressed in “The Gathering.” (x)

STARWARS.COM: That whole scene, where Maul is cradling Savage as he dies, and later when he’s begging for his life, he reminded me a lot of the Son from the Mortis arc.

DAVE FILONI: Oh, sure.

STARWARS.COM: Was that intentional? Or is it just that the Son represents the dark side and so there is going to be a correlation there?

DAVE FILONI: I think it’s all of the above. I think part of it is that Sam [Witwer] plays both of them, so there’s a natural resonance between the two characters. But part of the reason why, when it came down to it, that I wanted Sam to play Maul was because he had played the Son. And I wanted this concept, which is a very far-out concept, that there were echoes of everything that happened on Mortis happening throughout the show. And that Maul is an echo of the Son and some of the evil the Son was talking about which echoes in our galaxy. There were certain things that Sam and I did vocally that we wanted to be specifically like the Son. When we first find Maul, you can even hear Maul muttering some of the same dialogue that the Son actually says on Mortis. So there’s definitely a connection between those two characters, because they’re both connected to the dark side of the Force.

[…]

STARWARS.COM: When Maul came back, I thought, “This is foreshadowing for what’s going to happen to Anakin.” Right down to his mechanical legs. He keeps himself alive through hate and becomes this twisted thing. And I thought it was successful just on those grounds.

DAVE FILONI: Thanks. It’s a thing about Sith. They’re afraid to die. Fear attracts the fearful. Because for them it’s the end; if they die, it’s all over. There is nothing for them beyond their existence, because their power is all wrapped up in their life, in their existence. Once that’s gone, they believe they lose all their power and everything goes away. They don’t live on after death like Jedi learn to, eventually. Jedi believe you become part of the cosmic Force and your existence goes into that, but you don’t maintain your consciousness. That’s something that Qui-Gon learns, and that idea is developed and Yoda eventually learns it by communing with Qui-Gon, and then he passes it on. But that’s the big difference. There’s such a big fear of death because they try to hold onto life. And I think that’s why they’re willing to basically mutilate themselves and live these cybernetic half-human lives. Grievous is an echoing of that. They’re taken over by the machine and they’re subtracted from nature. And if having midi-chlorians in your blood is part of what makes you [feel] the Force, these are beings that are suddenly subtracted from that. 

STARWARS.COM: I wanted to talk about Ahsoka. My feeling is, if it wasn’t clear before then it definitely is after the four-part finale, that she’s the main character of The Clone Wars. It’s really about her journey and her growth, and her leaving the Jedi Order symbolizes a lot about what the war has done to the Jedi. Was where she ends up at the end of Season Five always the intended path for her?

DAVE FILONI: [...] Her ultimate point is that the Jedi are aware of Anakin’s shortcomings. They’re not naive to it. Yoda, in particular, talks to Obi-Wan and they give him this Padawan, saying, “Knowing Anakin as we do, he will not want this girl to be around. He’ll resist it. But if and when she wins him over, he will bond with her like everything else he does. Like R2-D2, like Obi-Wan, like Padmé. But this girl will be different, because he’ll basically raise her. She’ll be trained by him, and he will see in the long run that she overcomes her fears and she becomes a Jedi, and she does not need him. But she respects him and they become equals, and Anakin needs to learn this so he can let go.” And Yoda knows this is critical for Anakin. If you look at her episodes, as early as when she rescues Plo Koon from the Malevolence, and she’s learning from Anakin how to disobey orders but still be creative within following orders. And then she has a big failing when she goes to Ryloth and all these pilots die, in a way, because of her error, and she has to overcome her fear that she’s going to let them down again. She’s learning. Then we see a big, critical episode arc where Anakin and Luminara kind of compare Padawans, Barriss and Ahsoka. And that arc, I think, really set an interesting tone for ourselves and for the fans. We were trying to illustrate the difference between the way Anakin is raising his Padawan, and how much he cares about her, and the way Luminara raises her Padawan. Not that Luminara is indifferent, but that Luminara is detached. It’s not that she doesn’t care, but she’s not attached to her emotionally.

And at the end of the day, one of the questions that I guess I pose is, is that really a good thing? Is Anakin’s way of being so compassionate wrong? Because on a certain level, you have to accept that the Jedi lose the Clone War. So there is something that they’re doing that’s wrong. There’s something they’re doing that doesn’t work and that the dark side is exploiting. If anything, it’s Luke’s overwhelming compassion and love for his father that in the end overthrows the Emperor because it’s something that he doesn’t understand. So as far back as Anakin, there is a seed of an idea of love and compassion, which admittedly in Attack of the Clones, the Jedi say they’re lacking because they’ve become arrogant and very sure of themselves. As Ahsoka gets older, her first big challenge comes when she’s abducted by Trandoshans and put an island [to be hunted for sport]. Anakin is put in a position where he can’t help her, and he obsesses over trying to find her, and there’s nothing he can do. But she survives anyway, and at the end of that she says, “I was only able to do this because of your teachings. Because the other Padawans I was with, boy, they were completely messed up. They were cracking.” So again we see this comparison of where Ahsoka is at because of Anakin, and where these other Padawans, which represent the other Jedi, are at. When you get to the finale [of that arc], once you see her pretty much taking on the role of a mentor and teaching these younglings to survive, you see Ahsoka doing more things on her own and you notice Anakin’s not around.

Then at the beginning of the last arc [of Season Five], she basically saves Anakin the way Anakin would’ve always saved her in the past. And Anakin’s unconscious, he’s like, “What happened?” She says, “I saved your life, don’t worry about it.” It’s fun and he laughs about it then, and he’s not embarrassed by it. They’re a team. So we get them to that moment and then we put a ton of pressure on it. And through the whole trial, Anakin is the only one that stays 100 percent in her court. I think Plo Koon stays 75-80 percent of the way in her court because he says, “I don’t believe she could’ve fallen so low.” In Obi-Wan we really see the Jedi because he is compromised. Obi-Wan doesn’t believe Ahsoka is guilty of these crimes, but he has a very hard time arguing politically that the Jedi Council shouldn’t do what they do to her. He trusts in the Force, which is what they love to say when they don’t know what they’re doing, and they expel her. He can’t argue the logic. He doesn’t like Tarkin’s logic [but he can’t argue] that they can’t try her within the Jedi because the public, which we show in this episode arc, who are losing faith in the Jedi, would cry foul ball. “How can you put her on trial? Of course you’ll find her innocent. She’s a Jedi and you’re a Jedi.” So they expose themselves, and we see how they’re exposed. All of these things that are wrapped up in Ahsoka’s story, which ultimately make her realize what the audience realizes. “I love the Jedi Order. They’re very important to me, I’ve always respected them. But there’s something wrong here, and I need to walk away from it to assess it.” It all feeds into Revenge of the Sith when the chancellor says, “The Jedi have just made an attempt on my life.” When you see these four episodes, I think you have a better understanding of how he gets away with all of that, because you see how compromised the Jedi Council is. And these episodes aren’t just meant to get Ahsoka on her way, but they’re meant to explain in more detail the scene [in Revenge of the Sith] where Yoda, Mace, and Ki-Adi-Mundi are discussing arresting the chancellor, and what a gamble that’s going to be for them. Because you see that to the average Coruscant citizen who’s not impressed with this war or the Jedi anymore, they’ll see it as treason. It’s probably the arc that connects to the movies the most and has the most impact. I think that’s why it works on so many levels for me and is one of my favorite arcs, because it’s such a companion piece to the films. (x)

[81scorp]

Constructive criticism: The Phantom Menace

Star wars. A movie made in 1977 by George Lucas. Through the use of classic archetypes and "The Hero`s Journey" he created a story that was not only popular the day it premiered but has remained so for years. With two sequels and clever merchandising (where the real money from the movie is made) money is one thing he hasn`t had to worry about (at least not much) for years. But wait.When Star wars first came out it said that it was "chapter 4" despite it being the first one in the series! Did we miss something? No. George Lucas just decided not to release them chronologically. The missing chapters would most likely be made when Lucas felt that special effects had improved enough to live up to his vision, since one of the things the first three movies were known for was the visual spectacles.Then came the day, the remaining three movies were getting made. The masses flocked to the cinemas in excitement and... reactions were mixed. Some hated it, some loved it, some, like me, thought: "It was OK I guess..." When George Lucas made the original trilogy he was not as powerful as he is today. Limitations in special effects and budget forced him to be creative and work around those limitations. He relied a bit too much on how cool CGI would make it look and the fact that people would see it because it was frickin` Star wars. Even If you overlook how hyped it was, many have agreed that The Phantom Menace has several noticable flaws. I think several of us have had ideas on how to improve this. So here are some of my thoughts on how it could have been done. SPOILERS there are here Jar Jar Binks I would keep Jar Jar because I don`t think there`s anything wrong with a little comic relief. C3PO and R2D2 filled that function in the original trilogy after all. The diffrence is that they did it well. I would change Jar Jar`s voce from sounding "Roger Rabbity" to John Leguizamo-ish, and he could have an accent, just without the "yoosa" and "meesa" stuff. (Note that I didn`t say John Leguizamo, but someone sounding kinda that way. And I`m not talking about his Sid the Sloth voice) Instead of being clumsy and goofy he would be a competent scout and lookout who`s just not used to fighting. Which means that he can`t be bannished from the gungan city for being too clumsy. Instead Boss Nass would insist on him following the two Jedis out because: "You lead them in here, so you lead them out" and he would chose to continue to follow them because he believes it`s the right thing to do. The comedy that would come from Jar Jar would be fish-out-of-water humor, since he`s an amphibian on a desert planet. To summarise: He would still be kinda funny, but not because he`s a clumsy idiot. Midichlorians Instead of finding out Anakin`s potential by meassuring his "midichlorian level" with science, Qui Gon Jinn could find it out by "sensing the force". He could close his eyes and we could see what he sees: even if everything is black, people, animals and other stuff are still visible as siluettes thanks to the Force flowing around them. But it flows even stronger around Anakin. Qui Gonn asks Obi Wan to sense the Force too and he sees what Qui Gonn saw. They both agree that he has potential and they bring him along. Anakin It`s popular to pick on Jake Lloyd (his performance could have been better) but at least half of the blame can be placed on George Lucas. The character could have been written better. Anakin should have been a kid who tries to do the best of the lot that life has given him but still, deep down, resent that he and his mother are at the lowest step of the ladder and don`t have any actual freedom, and it frustrates him. He should have been played by an actor able to handle that inner struggle. Preferably a slightly older actor. (Not necessarily older or as old as Padme, just a little older than Jake Lloyd was at that time.) The Droid army You know the Droids that went "Roger Roger" and looked like they were half robot, half spaghetti? They could have looked and been more threatening. They could also have been a bit more intelligent. I think there were a couple of robot soldiers in AotC and/or RotS that had a better design. C3PO Sure, it`s fun to see characters that you remember, but beyond that C3PO had no other function (well, maybe a little bit as a comic relief). Personally I`d save his "first" appearence for Attack of the Clones. R2D2 Personally I found it a bit odd that R2D2 got the hero`s treatment after he fixed the ship when they had to escape the planet. Partly because I don`t really see big royalties being that sentimental (Or maybe the correct word is empathic?) with the robotic servants. Also because in A new Hope they were sold as slaves by the jawas and Luke and his folks had no problem with it. (And yes, I know. Some time had passed and on some planets the rights of robots probably hadn`t progressed as far as they had on others but still.) Remember that in A new Hope C3PO said: "nobody worries about upsetting a droid." meaning that most people don`t think about droids feelings, or think that they even have any. How I would do it: After the crew are relieved that they got away and R2D2 returns back into the shuttle Padmè could read his number and say: "`R2...D2.`Is that your name... or... number? I don`t know if this means anything to you but... Thank you for saving us."And R2 could beep in response. Overuse of CGI and green screen Not against CGI but Personally I would have used it a little less than Lucas did. I think it would help the actors if they`d had more physical sets. The stilted dialogue Should have been less stilty. Someone better at writing dialogue should have handled this bit for Lucas. The Droid Army`s defeatSure, it was kinda funny, but was it right to put something that funny in such a climactic scene? Since Anakin (in this hypothetic example at least) is a little bit older than Jake Lloyd was the time, I wouldn`t have anything against if he took that ship that he flew away in and flew it over the droid army and fired on them, giving the gungans a big enough advantage to win the battle. (I think it`s a little impractical for them all to be completely dependent on one single power source and to be defeated that easily.) You may wonder what changes I would have suggested for AotC or RotS. Well, in my opinion the sequels got better, they were more similar to the Star Wars movies that I know and love. I found less things that bothered me and it`s harder for me to pinpoint all the stuff that I would have changed. Not to say that there are none. But since there aren`t as many there`s no point in giving them their own individual lists. So I`ll just add them to this one. Things that both AotC and RotS have in common with PM:Overuse of CGI and green screen and stilted dialogue. And also

Anakin Skywalker Hayden Christensen should have taken acting lesson or have been replaced by another actor. But like I said with Jake Lloyd: half of it is George Lucas`s fault. He should have put more effort into the characters. And Hayden had some good moments in RotS. Attack of the Clones Anakin lamenting after he returns home after burying his mom after killing the Tusken raiders I think his speech should have focused on how he`s used to be able to fix and repair things, but he can`t repair this and it makes him feel powerless. And yes, he did mention it briefly in that scene, I just think it should have been something his monologue could have focused more on.The "I don`t like sand" speechHe could have said something like: that he prefered being on Naboo, because even if Tattoine was his childhood home it still had some bad memories for him. (Being a slave with no rights and stuff like that.) I guess you can file this in the stilted dialogue-category. Revenge of the Sith Padmè`s death

Appearantly she died because she lost the will to live. While it is possible for a person`s emotional/mental state to lenghten or shorten their life it just feels a little melodramatic. (Or maybe forced is the right word? No pun intended if you find that punny.) Couldn`t it have been a combination of her being distressed and Anakin accidentally almost Force-choking her to death? The cheesy love dialogue Remember this? Anakin Skywalker: "You are so... beautiful." Padmé: "It's only because I'm so in love." Anakin Skywalker: "No, it's because I'm so in love with you." Padmé: "So love has blinded you?" Anakin Skywalker: [laughs] "Well, that's not exactly what I meant." Padmé: "But it's probably true." I would have cut this dialogue and just have them have a quiet, romantic scene together that lasted for a few seconds. Show, don`t tell. I guess that falls under the same dialogue-category as Attack of the Clones. There may be more things that could have been changed in the sequels but I only focused on the ones that I could pinpoint and that I could come up with ideas on how to improve. It`s called constructive criticism after all. It`s popular and easy to complain about and hate George Lucas, and while his latest contributions to cinema have been a bit lacking, he has good qualities for a film maker. The man knows how to build worlds, has a good eye for the visual and he`s an entrepreneur, he created his own visual effects company and came up with new effects instead of waitng for someone else to create them. The problem is that he focused too much on these elements and didn`t spend enough time on the others. "A special effect is a tool, a means of telling a story. A special effect without a story is a pretty boring thing."George Lucas himself. And that`s it for me. Take care and may the force be with you.