#and also a million fucking ''make your own food'' games i saw in ads

[skyburger]

shut the fuck up im playing sky burger

[reporterleroux]

That's absolutely fine don't worry about it!

I have been craving some platonic Ranboo storys as of late so here we go!

Basically the reader is the sibling of Ranboo (they are younger by at least 3/4 years) and they are also good friends with both Tommy and Tubbo, the reader has never been in any way shape or form introduced in any of Ranboo's streams because he didn't want them on the internet. The reader comes with him to the Uk to meet Tubbo and Tommy and they just have a lot of fun, one day while Tubbo, Tommy and Ranboo are streaming the reader comes into the room and Ranboo just starts kinda freaking out trying to keep them out of frame, Tommy and Tubbo look at each other freaked out and the Reader starts crying because they have no idea what was going on. Tubbo ends up stoping the stream early with the chat going a million miles a minute because ender boy has a sibling?!

In the end the gang explaines that the reader can't just barge into the room while they are streaming and the four of them end up watching a movie.

🦋

Wow ok I'm sososososososososososo sorry about the time on this, I got unmotivated for ages then I was busy with family now it's restarted school and all that shit, but hopefully I'll start making a comeback :D

Characters: cc!Ranboo (brother) cc!Tubbo (friend) cc!Tommy (friend)

A/N: trying this to the best of my ability, I've not written something like this in a little while

You walked out of Tubbos kitchen, a normal day for you now that you're spending 4 months here with your brother, Ranboo and his friends. About 2 months have passed already and you don't wanna go home, here was much better than home, apart from the food. Thing is, you're only 14. If you were to stay here you'd have to find an education nearby, and your end of school exams were near, so it's best not to risk, or atleast for now. "Mornin shortie." Ranboo called to you as he walked in. You sighed, you were alot taller than average for your age, but not even close to Ranboos height. We'll see who's laughing in a few years. "Mornin." You replied back. He walked past you to the fridge while you pulled out a bowl for him, he was bound to go for some form of cereal. "Tommy coming up today?" You asked your brother. He had become your best friend now aswell, along with Tubbo plus a few others, and it felt great. "Tubbo told me he's gonna message or call him when he wakes up, so about 20 minutes after that he'll probably be here, so yes, he is." You nodded at him and made your way into the main room, which is where the computer sat that they both (and Tommy) have streamed from at some point in these last 2 months. You sat down and began your breakfast, while scrolling through the messages sent from your friends overnight.

Not much longer a very pissed looking and tired Tubbo walked past you. You were watching the TV at this point, so you saw him going past. He grumbled out a "Good Morning." As he walked past, and you replied the same. "Sleep well?" You asked, making sure he did, well, sleep well. He let out a tired groan and lifted a middle finger as he walked into the kitchen, which Ranboo was still in for some reason, and you raised your hands in the air as he walked out. The boys came back and sat with you, Tubbo now in more of a better mood. Tubbo messaged Tommy about being awake, like Ranboo said, and Tommy was instantly on his way.

The day had gone by and people were now doing their own things. Ranboo was streaming with Tubbo and Tommy in the back and you in a different room. You didn't know Ranboo was streaming, because he for some reason didn't tell you. Midway through a game he was streaming, you accidentally walked in. Tommy was first to notice, and shot up out his seat. "Y/N! What the fuck???" He whisper shouted at you. Tommy's sudden movement caught Tubbos eye and he ended by shouting your name which then caused Ranboo to look. They all shot out their seats and surrounded you to push you out the room, which was kinda intimidating and confusing for you, so you started crying. Chat was going faster than lightning by now and it was gonna stop soon. Ranboo pushed you lightly out the room following you behind, with Tommy behind him, you still in tears. Tubbo ran to quickly and adruptly end stream, quickly looking at chat beforehand and seeing them spam stuff like "SIBLINGBOO??" and "GENDER MAN HAS SIBLING????" Before it disappeared when he ended stream. He ended then joined you and the boys outside. Ranboo had taken off his mask and glasses and was talking sternly, but not to agressivley, to you about what just happened. "Y/N. You can't walk in like that. I don't want you on the internet, there's weird people there. Don't do that again." He looked at you for a response, but the only one you could give was light tears from earlier. Ranboo instantly felt some form of guilt after shouting at his sibling, and pulled you in for a hug. He didn't want to make you upset, he just wanted to protect you. The other 2 boys joined in quickly before Ranboo pulled you away to look at him. "Wanna watch a movie maybe, make up for it?" You nodded before you all looked for snacks in the kitchen, but failing and going to the nearby shop to buy them.

A/N: FIRST ONE IN AGES WOO!! it feels so good honestly

Taglist: @bozowrites (send an ask to be added to any list!)

[secondhand-trash]

A/N: words cannot described how entertained I was when I was writing this...

Warning: suggestive themes

Word count: 1888

(click here to see more of Osamu’s bento)

(taglist in the notes, please go to the link in my bio or send me an ask to be added to the bento taglist uwu)

-

Previously...

You were so determined to tell him everything as it was, but you immediately didn’t have the heart to do it when you were met with his round eyes fixed on you.

You had it coming…

“Yeah,” you said, “we are going through this real big project right now and everyone is on edge.”

He took your hand and pressed it against his cheek. You smiled as he leaned into your touch, caressing his jaw with your thumb. He was lucky that he’s cute, you thought to yourself, silently deciding that maybe you would try to be a little bit more openminded the next time he turned your lunch into a meme canvas.

“Then I should try to bring you some excitement with your bento then! Something that both taste good and can motivate you visually!”

-

You might have deliberately left out that the true reason to your exasperation was the fact that your brain was squeezed dry after playing a game of edible pictionary under Osamu’s drive, but you didn’t exactly lied about anything either. There was really a big project your department was undergoing and it was pushing everyone’s mental well-being to the edge. Your friend, the one who sat at the cubicle opposite to yours, nearly had a meltdown in the office the other day because the drafts of a powerpoint was printed in greyscale instead of in colour. The head of the department, a middle aged man who looked like a round department store mascot and never raises his voice, was heard sobbing in his office after getting off a conference call with the management board. Needless to say, you had been walking on eggshells in every waking minute and you felt like you had aged by years just from theses few days.

The only bit of joy you had in the office was the short 30 minutes you were mercifully given each day to fuel your body with food so you could continue to be tortured by work. Osamu kept his promise with changing up what was in your bento every single day with no repeats. Making count of what you had seen in your bento had become part of your daily routine. You had gotten several different pepes, a few cat memes and some very ambiguous looking faces (most of which you assumed to be him). You were hesitant to accept his new hobby of using your lunch as a creative outlet but now you appreciate it to no end.

Slamming the door shut, you placed your palm flat on the wall and sighed as the soreness in all the muscles you did not know was in your body started getting worse and worse.

God could give you 48 hours in a day and it still wouldn’t be enough.

“I’m home...” you muttered, kicking your shoes to the side as you limped into the living room.

Osamu appeared from the doorway and took your bag from your hand. You groaned at the weight that was finally off of your shoulder, rolling your neck to feel each joint cracking. He caught you in his arms swiftly when you latched onto him, putting all your weight on him as you allow your tired legs the rest they needed.

“Urgh...” your voice came out as an inaudible noise as you groaned into his chest, rubbing your face against the fabric of his shirt. He let your bag fell onto the ground with a chuckle, wrapping his arms around you as he felt you sinking deeper into his embrace, “if it goes on like this I’m not going to live to see tomorrow’s sunrise..."

You whined as he rubbed soothing circles on your back, the warmth reaching from his palm to your body. You felt your limbs slowly reviving under his touch, his hand trailing from your back to your shoulder blades then down your spine again. You could feel the rumbling from his chest as he spoke, his voice low by your ear and his breath ticking your neck, “Do you need me to give you some motivation?”

A sound that resembled a choked moan slipped from your lips when his hand pressed down at a particularly stiff spot on your back, “Please do.”

The corner of his lips curled up at your breathy reply. Brushing your hair away with his finger, he dipped down to the sensitive skin of your exposed neck.

“Can you make nanban chicken for tomorrow’s bento?”

He froze in place at your request. Ah, you had taken his suggestion towards a completely different direction. He thought that he sounded pretty sexy when he was whispering in your ear but perhaps the suggestive tone lacing his words went lost in your tired brain.

He bite back the sigh that was threatening to leak out, “Of course.”

-

Osamu didn’t try to initiate anything again the next couple of days, mostly because you came back looking like your soul had flown away from your body every single night that he felt bad for even thinking about doing anything that might tire you out even more. Was it bad that the thought of not being able to do anything actually made him even needier? Perhaps. But it had been a while and quite a while since you had done anything intimate and being a normal young man with normal needs, he felt like the even the slightest bit of skinship he could get from you was setting off something indescribable in him. 

Like right now, on the long weekend that he had been looking forward to every day for the past week, he swore he would combust if you shifted around next to him for just one more time on your couch that felt particularly crowded today.

You smelt so nice, he silently thought to himself as he buried his nose in your hair, and your skin was so warm. Your body fit against his perfectly, each sharp corner and soft bump molded together like the world created you two to fit with each other like this.

This was good, and all he needed was a slight push...

His arm around your waist tightened and his hand started wandering to the side of your thigh, "You know, it’s been a while since we... you know...”

He tried his hardest to not press against you when you pushed your hips back as you turned around to face him, “Hm?”

“And I miss you...” his voice was dripping with honey as his lips ghosted over where your ear connected to your neck.

You grinned, feeling the way he got more and more handsy all over you, “Is that so?”

Osamu felt his chest swelling when you didn’t push him away, “Uhm.”

Your hand was on his toned chest as you slowly sat up and he couldn’t help but let out a heavy breath in anticipation when you inched towards him.

He nearly lost balance and fell off the couch when the doorbell rang.

He wanted to scream when you perked up, snapping towards the door in excitement, “Oh it must be my parcel!”

A million different curses in all the languages he didn’t know he knew ran through his head as you leaped out of his arms, leaving his hand hanging in the air as you hopped over to the door.

His eyes followed your frame like a puppy who got kicked to the side as you, not sparing him a glance, happily walked into your room with the card box in your hand.

Running his hand down his face, he let out a muffled groan as his plan was spoiled. Throwing his head back in frustration, he felt the dread building up inside of him when he felt the familiar stuffiness in his pants.

Oh. Oh hello.

Not that you were aware, but he had gotten rather familiar with the shower and its temperature settings the past week and as he once again shivered under the cold water that rained on his head like a waterfall, he contemplated the possibility of being drowned in a cold shower.

-

Your hand was shaking as you moved the mouse so that the arrow on the screen hovered over the send button.

Was this all? Was there anything you needed to add? You paused, your mind in a state of blank before your finger bounced against the key. You stared while the page buffered, before it returned to your mailbox.

You blinked, processing this sudden overwhelming feeling that was the fact that there was nothing you needed to do anymore.

It’s over. The earlier hollowness caught up to you in the form of thundering joy and trumpets going off in your head. You finished up everything.

You could not help the little squeal that you let out as you stretched your arms wide, rolling your shoulders bac to reward them for carrying you through. Clasping your hand together, you almost felt like humming when you saw that it was just in time for lunch.

You could not be in a better mood. Your work was done and you managed to get it cleared out before lunch. How long had it been since you last had the leisure to really savour your food instead of gulping it down to squeeze out more time? 

You paused when you opened the lid of the bento, tilting your head to the side as you took in the very oddly shaped onigiri that was sitting in the center.

Hm- oh? Oh.

You scrambled to shut the box up with flailing hands when you realised what it actually was, looking around in panic to check if anyone had seen what was inside just then. 

What the fuck? What the actual fuck? 

What was he thinking? Your chest was pounding and your face was steaming with embarrassment at the very visual representation of the last thing that was safe for being shown in the office. How the hell would he think that this was a good idea?

Sliding your lower body off your chair, you carefully lifted up the corner of the lid so that you could peak inside to confirm your suspicion.

For fuck sake.

You attracted the bewildered gaze of a few concerned colleagues when you flopped down onto your desk, hiding your burning face on the cold surface to calm down your mind that was going haywire from what you have noticed in addition to the what you had figured out earlier.

That dummy did not model it after his own...

-

You were not sure if you wanted to be angry or amused when Osamu gingerly, but also a bit anticipatingly poked his head out from the doorway to observe you from afar when you came home that night.

All that was left was for him to have a tall to wag behind him when he stared at you with his round eyes like he wanted to say something but was also too scared to bring it up.

“Samu.”

He immediately stood up straight, “Yes?”

“I’ll give you 10 seconds to explain yourself.”

He blinked, his eyes skittering around the room before focusing back on you, “Was it not obvious enough?”

You found yourself unable to question his logic. Palming yourself, you did not know if laughing was the right reaction when he snuck up next to you and very awkwardly pulled you closer to him before resting his chin on your shoulder, looking up at you with a look that he deemed to be extremely irresistable.

Fine, he looked kind of cute.

You wanted to smack him when he very eagerly latched onto you when you turned to face him, his hands being everything but well-behaved as he leaned over to kiss you square on the lips.

His eyes widened when you put your hand on his face right when he was almost touching you.

“Should I worry about you doing that again?”

He shook his head frantically, looking at you from behind his bangs with a pleading look.

You laughed, before moving your hand away and let him close the distance between your lips.

[tinyshinysylveon]

i suddenly got this idea where izuku is an anonymous famous editor for youtubers who hire him to edit their videos because he’s a professional at doing it, and katsuki is an upcoming youtube vlogger who travels around the world and yet doesn’t know how to edit his own videos to save his life, so no matter what he does, he always seem to mess up even the basics of editing (part 1/??)

“i think you need professional help” kirishima says as he watches katsuki trying to drag an edited cut on to his video for the umpteenth time that day “shut up, shitty hair just give me a minute-” an error popup. “did you just.. deleted the video?” “....”

katsuki keeps trying, he even watched tutorials on youtube (while skipping important segments ofc because he can totally do that all on his own!) but his patience is wearing thin until kirishima recommended him to someone who’s known in the youtube community for their famous editing skills 

“..deku?” katsuki stares at his screen showing a youtube profile with the name deku as their username and an icon of all might with edited-in sunglasses “okay look, he may seem suspicious to you, but i gotta tell you bakugou, he’s legit, i’ve seen his videos and they look awesome!” well katsuki will be the judge of that despite this deku having 5 mil+ subscribers than him!

the blonde spent the whole day watching deku’s videos which mostly consists of amvs (anime music videos) and games, especially the ones that required a lot of effort to make, plus he even made tutorials! so he gotta give him credit for that, but alas, katsuki is still somehow having trouble following directions and gave up on the latest tutorial video on how to add an easy transition 

when kirishima came to check in with katsuki, all he heard were multiple clicks and grumbled noises, he let out an exasperated sigh “i can’t believe you’re still trying..” “what the fuck do you want me to do kirishima?” katsuki was trying not to flip his table at this point. “hire him obviously!” the red head yells out as if that’s the answer to their problems “..and how do you suppose i do that?” 

it actually took a lot of convincing in kirishima’s part, but katsuki finally threw away his pride and decided to send a message to deku’s business email that was left under his about page on youtube 

“..i want you to become my editor and help me in becoming the #1 youtube travel vlogger in the community” kirishima reads the message out loud that’s displayed on the screen, “you sure you want to send it like this?” “i don’t see anything wrong with it?” “but don’t you think it’s too.. blunt? no formalities or anything like, hello i’ve seen your videos and i would be honored to have you as my editor, you know?” katsuki just shrugged, “it’s too late, i already sent it to him”

about half a day later, deku replied back, “Good afternoon Mr.Explosionmurder, I appreciate that you requested me to become your editor and would like to discuss further details about our agreement via discord. You can contact me by adding my username, deku#2463. I look forward to hearing from you.” to this day, kirishima still can’t believe his eyes when he read the message

“oi shitty hair, what’s a discord?” 

it wasn’t katsuki’s fault that the majority of time he spent in high school was doing his best to stay on top of assignments and projects, plus being in the A honor roll, he didn’t really get to decide on his career until after he graduated, thanks to the courtesy of his parents owning their own modeling industry, he put the money he saved up to good use in traveling around the world and vlogging it for people to see with kirishima as his traveling partner

he explained all of this and his reasonings to deku on discord once he reached out to him and figured out how to use the platform, but katsuki was still suspicious regarding his video editing skills and wanted to see it firsthand on how his videos would look like as a finished product

deku: fair enough, send me your videos and i’ll see what i can do, until then, if you deem it satisfactory, which i’m confident that you will, i request a 50/50 payment on your revenue. take it or leave it. 

for some reason, katsuki agreed to it without a second thought due to the challenging tone from the message; “i can’t believe you! i told you to trust him! why do you have to doubt him?! haven’t you already seen his videos?!” kirishima was full on panicking at this point, how were they going to make money?! “shut up, i know what i’m doing! i know what’s best for my videos!” it was a good chance too since they’re currently in hong kong and planning to shoot the top 10 tourist spots to visit as claimed by an article he found online

a few days later, katsuki finally got all the videos piled up in one folder and sent them all in a google drive to share with deku just as he requested, he even mentioned to him thru discord message to follow the cues he was giving him on his videos such as when he and kirishima took a stroll and tried foods in the temple street night market; “hey deku, i want you to do a close up of kirishima eating the curry fish ball with erotic music playing in the background” he smirks while focusing the camera on the red head eating without a care in the world and not noticing katsuki making the comment, “mmm dude, mmm you gotta try this, it’s so freakin’ good- wait bro, how long have you been pointing the camera at me?” 

in less than a week, deku sent a reply back with the link to the fully edited video; deku: hmm, not gonna lie, but your cues were actually helpful and dare I say, creative? katsuki took it as a compliment and opened the link to the video file, it was about a few GB so it shouldn’t take a long time to upload on youtube, but.. was it ready? he called in kirishima to watch it with him and was actually prepared for it to look horrible despite deku’s obvious talent except.. it was actually pretty good?? better even?! “what did i tell ya katsuki? i told you he was legit,” his partner boasted, just earlier he was embarrassed when the part about him eating the curry fish ball with the “let’s get it on” music in the background showed up while the blonde just rolled his eyes. 

explosionmurder: thanks, and i just saw it, consider yourself hired deku: happy to be of service! i’m looking forward to working with you, mr.explosionmurder! it would be helpful again if you provided the cues during your journey! :)  explosionmurder: don’t mention it and also don’t call me that, call me katsuki  deku: okay, mr.katsuki! [all might emoji]

kastuki found it odd that he became really eager during the exchange but thought nothing of it

a couple of months flew by and katsuki with kirishima in tow have already travelled in 4 other different countries, he even received about 500k+ subscribers, he’s almost to 1 million! as per agreement, he gives half of his revenue to deku which was okay with him since he still has a lot of saved up money in the bank including kirishima’s since they’re sharing it anyway, most of the time, his communication with deku have been entirely professional with a few emojis in between (usually deku’s part), until today that is 

deku: it must be nice to travel 0:  explosionmurder: pfft, what are you talking about? you now have over 7 mil+ subscribers in your channel since i met you, you can go traveling whenever or wherever you want  deku: i can’t  explosionmurder: what do you mean you can’t?

no reply

since then, katsuki didn’t want to think too much on what deku said and focused mostly on traveling, those videos won’t work themselves! after he finished, he sent over the videos of his recent trip from india over to deku and as usual, deku delivered it back beautifully edited along with a message 

deku: that’s so cool! you guys went to india? *o* [link to video edit] explosionmurder: yeah, you should’ve seen shitty hair when he tried that really spicy curry, which reminds me, you did what i asked right? deku: of course mr. katsuki! as always, i’ve paid attention to every cue you asked for! [saluting pepe emoji] explosionmurder: good good, i didn’t just hire you to sit on your ass all day  deku: haha you’re not my only contractor you know ^^”  explosionmurder: is that what you meant when you said you couldn’t travel because you’ve been busy? way to be blunt katsuki, he mentally berated himself, but at least deku answered this time, although reluctantly deku: ...let’s just say im stuck at home  in that very moment, is when everything changed between them explosionmurder: alright nerd, you sound depressed as hell so i’m going to give you the decision to decide on where we’re going to travel to next, think of it as a reward for all you’ve done for us  deku: asdkjflas that’s too much! T_T are you sure mr. katsuki??? explosionmurder: i’m waiting, you got 3 seconds starting now, 3  deku: america! i’ve been wanting to go to america...

katsuki told kirishima his plans, then the spiky red head gave him a pat on the back and a thumbs up, “so you do have a sentimental bone in your body!” kirishima was almost close to being dead that very same day 

when they arrived to america, he asked deku the list of things he wanted to see and most of them were, “all might amusement park, all might cafe, all might- is there anything else the nerd likes besides all might and superheroes?” katsuki says while viewing the list in the hotel they’re staying at. “give him a break, you said so yourself that he couldn’t leave his house, so this is the least we can do for him and for all the hard work he put in our videos,” kirishima reasoned with him

on the last day of their trip, katsuki did his routine in piling the videos together and sending them to deku with the attached message, “i actually bought you a souvenir if you want it, looked like the type of shit you would like, you’ll see what it is in the videos i’ve sent you” they’ve known each other long enough so he thought why the hell not, it’s just a matter of getting his PO address, and the response to this was immediate, “AAA I SAW IT! THANK YOU THANK YOU!” <3<3 <(^w^<)

it was an all might limited edition figurine only available in the US 

for the first time, deku took two days longer to finish than katsuki expected him to since they’ve started because he always goes through them pretty quickly, maybe he’s too busy making them look up-to-par? whatever the case was, when katsuki received the video, it already had a title for it, “MY AWESOME TRIP TO AMERICA PLUS ULTRA!” kirishima just laughed and told him to keep it in honor of deku so he left it like that, “this better give me some views,” he grumbled and uploaded it the night before they went to bed, he wasn’t really worried in checking it out either because he has faith in deku’s abilities  

the morning after was hectic, katsuki has been receiving notifications upon notifications on the “travel bros” (courtesy of kirishima) twitter since last night, one in particular caught his eye, “i can’t believe deku and katsuki are dating! who would’ve thought!” what?

a short video appeared underneath that came from the video he uploaded, and regretfully never took a look at, showing katsuki saying to the camera as he held the AM figurine, “deku, you should’ve been here, look at what i got you, nerd,” at first glance, it was supposed to look normal (from the original video!) except hearts and sparkles began appearing around katsuki as he smirks up at the camera, what the fuck? besides, deku was suppose to edit that all out! for every cue in every part where he says deku’s name, he was expected to delete them like he usually does! even though it was no secret that deku was his video editor, he distinctly remembers mentioning about him in a video they took way back when they first started out their contract agreement

meanwhile, kirishima was having a field day, he finally saw their video while katsuki kept on seeing other short videos of him on twitter from different segments of the trip in which he either had sparkles or hearts around him, especially when he mentions deku’s name; “bro you won’t believe this, our subscribers grew up to over 1 million last night!” kirishima yells enthusiastically, but when he noticed katsuki not paying attention to him, he looked over his shoulder to check what he was looking at. “oh that, you know those aren’t fanmade videos, right?” katsuki unblinkingly turned to look at him, “you mean..?” kirishima gave him a toothy grin, “yep!” 

a video call from discord, “dekuuuu, what is the meaning of this?” a squeaky voice, “i-I’m so sorry i got carried away and i couldn’t help it! all might was too beautiful including you and-!” “..what did you just say?”

TBC maybe?

[kaleidescope-writes]

Faithfully Yours--Chapter 2: Mornings & Gossip

In partnership with @accio-boys

Billionaire!Tom Hiddleston x Doctor!Reader

Slow Burn! (Yay)

Warnings: Swearing, causing a scene, fluff, and a cliffhanger😈

Masterlist

“Absolutely not!” you blurted. The guests, who were paying full attention to your mother, turned to look at you. Many of them had a look of surprise from your mother’s announcement, your sudden exclamation added on to their shock and mild confusion. Your mother, on the other hand, quickly changed her expression from shock to mild anger. “Darling,” she began through gritted teeth, “Let’s have a chat. In private.” She turned to the guests, tone going back to what it was before, “As for our guests, you are free to mingle.” She walked over to you, grabbing your arm harshly and leading you to a secluded corner of the room. 

“What the hell was that, YN?” your mother hissed, not letting your arm go. “Mom,” you began, “I’m not going to marry anyone. Especially not him!” She let go of your arm, pushing you back a little in the process, “You have to. This is for the good of the family. Whatever objection you have, suck it up!” You sighed in frustration, “Suck it up? Mom, I’m a top doctor at a hospital! I have zero time to waste on assholes that are charming with everyone else but almost run me over when I get off work!” She took a step closer to you, “This is for the family! You’ll still be a doctor after the wedding! You’re marrying him. That’s final!”  

“No!” you shouted, earning the attention of two particular people you desperately wanted to avoid. “Is there a problem, Y/N?” Mr. Hiddleston asked, approaching you and your mother. She glared at you, silently urging you to answer wisely--deny that there was a problem. You gave her a challenging look, eyes never leaving hers, “Actually, yes there is.” You felt both men get closer to you, yet you didn’t break the visual standoff with your mother. “And what might the problem be?” Tom asked, making your stomach turn. “The problem is that I’m not going to marry you, Tom!” you snapped harshly, “Look, it’s been a long day. I had enough to worry about between my job and the first wedding announcement, I don’t need this.” You motioned to your general area, “If you’ll excuse me, I’m a busy doctor and a lot of patients rely on me to keep doing my job instead of marrying,” you looked Tom up and down, “assholes in black jaguars.”

Before anyone could say anything, you walked over to the counter and picked up your purse, continuing your strut out the door. You didn’t even bother to say goodbye to anyone, too enraged to face anyone else in the room. All you wanted was to go back to your office, bury your face in your frustration pillow, and scream. You had no intention to have any social interactions with anyone for the rest of the night. 

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Waking up on the couch in your office was never ideal, but sometimes it was better than being home. Today was sometimes. You sat up, stretching as you slowly opened your eyes to adjust to the light in the room. Letting your arms drop, you looked at the watch on your right wrist. Six A.M. Lovely. You stood up, yawning as you made your way to your personal bathroom. Opening up the mini drawer you kept extra clothes in, you settled on something to wear and placed it on the sink. Looking up to see your reflection in the mirror, you took note of your disheveled hair and decided to braid it today. You let little things occupy your mind, welcoming the temporary distractions before starting the day. You needed a clear mind to keep an excellent job performance.

You walked into the cafeteria, feeling fresh and ready to start the day. Picking up a small breakfast selection and drink, you walked over to a table occupied by some doctors you were close with. “Hide your shit, boss is here!” Isabel gasped playfully. You laughed, “Breaking your commitment, Dr. Teixido?” Lucille scoffed, “Isabel, the poster child? No way.” You sat down, already beginning to dig in to your meal.You silently listened to the conversation around you quietly as you ate, reacting every once in a while. You didn’t know how long you’d been sitting with them, but you unknowingly finished your food. Just as you were about to excuse yourself from the table, you saw someone else approach the table. 

“Y/N! You’re not going to believe this!” Luke said, out of breath from running around looking for his friend. Before you could question what he was talking about, he showed you the article on his phone. Your stomach dropped and you took the phone from him. “What’s going on?” Isabel asked, concerned about your sudden change. “Twitter has been going crazy over the possibility of a romance between a beloved billionaire and the head of New York’s best hospital,” you read, “Billionaire Bachelor Tom William Hiddleston has been shipped with Dr. Y/N L/N from Rose Valley Hospital and Medical Center by thousands of twitter followers, all claiming they’re the “it couple” of the century.” You felt your internal organs begin to turn in discomfort. What the hell?! The other doctors looked at you, all confused as to why you were reacting so negatively. 

“Who the fuck is this guy?” you questioned, frustration returning in full swing. “He’s only the most eligible bachelor by far,” Lucille answered, “His parents are millionaire CEO's of a multi-million dollar company. He works in that company and has a fortune of his own. He’s also incredibly hot.” You gave her a look of absolute disgust, unable to understand her attraction. “He’s also an absolute douche-bag. A rich, cocky, unpleasant douche-bag,” you rebuked. Isabel gave you a look, “Why are you so against him?” 

“I’d rather not give him more attention than he deserves,” you replied bitterly, handing Luke his phone. “He almost hit Y/N with his car,” he said simply. Teigan turned to Luke, finally deciding to join into the conversation, “I’m sorry, he what? When did this happen?” You put your head in your hands, “Yesterday! Right before my mother told me she made arrangements so that I have to marry the guy.” The group fell silent. An uncomfortable tension filled the air around you. Looking up, you gave them all an expectant look, urging them to say something. They were all silent. Luke shook his head, “Now you won’t say something about how dreamy he is?” Isabel opened her mouth to speak, words falling short as she looked between you and Luke. 

You groaned, letting your head fall momentarily before getting up from your seat. “I have work to do. I have to catch up on all the work I put off last night thanks to the damn announcement,” you said as you grabbed your things and walked away from the group. You didn’t think you’d have to tell them so soon, but the article had to exist. Much to your displeasure. Walking out into the hallway, you slowed your pace as your work phone rang. You answered the call, coming to a complete stop near the wall. The voice on the other end of the line made your stomach drop for the second time that morning. 

“How the hell did you get this number?”

~~~~~~~~~~

Six-thirty A.M. That’s what the clock on the stove read. Meaning that any moment now, Vivienne would come running down the stairs and get her stuff ready for school. Tom went back to preparing her breakfast knowing that he would hear her coming down. Sure enough, he heard the pattering of the eight-year-old coming down the stairs and into the kitchen. “Good morning, uncle Tom!” she greeted in her usual cheery voice. Tom smiled, turning around to face her, “What, no good morning hug? Have you grown out of hugging your uncle already, Vivie?” Vivie smiled at him, running over to him to have him a quick hug. Tom leaned down to hug her back, smile widening as he did. 

“Anything exciting happening in class today?” He asked, pulling away from her and going back to the food. “We’re starting a new book today. The teacher hasn’t told us about it because it’s a surprise,” she smiled as she sat down on a chair, placing her backpack on the counter. “I’m sure you’ll enjoy it,” Tom laughed, “You’re just like me, you know. Now sit patiently for a bit while I finish with breakfast.” Vivie nodded, pulling her tablet out of her bag and opening one of the educational game apps. Tom continued with the two omelets as the room filled with the sounds of Vivie’s game. This was his every morning, making sure Vivie was ready for school before the bus picked her up and getting ready for work himself. This was what his life was composed of, and he was happy. He didn’t feel the need to marry a stubborn, know-it-all doctor. Even if his father thought Vivie needed a mother, he could do much better than Y/N L/N. And if they did get married, she would never have time for Vivie like he does. She said it herself, she’s a busy person. She has patients to take care of.Y/N L/N has no time for family whatsoever. Besides, Tom didn’t want Vivie to grow up as bitchy and grouchy as her. 

Deciding the omelets were ready, he grabbed the spatula to his left and took them out of the pan one at a time and placed them onto separate plates. He didn’t notice the sounds from Vivie’s game had gone silent until now and he grew suspicious. Both plates in hand, he turned to the counter where Vivie sat and instantly noticed her reading something. “What’s that you’re reading?” he asked as he put both plates on the counter. Vivie looked up at him confused, “Who’s Y/N?” Tom’s smile faded, holding his hand out to her. Vivie gave him the tablet, still waiting on his answer. 

Tom began reading through the article on the screen, a feeling of dread washing over him. “Shit,” he whispered, looking at the blurry picture of them together. “Is this bad?” Vivie asked, still trying to get him to respond. Tom snapped out of his shock, looking at her before he spoke, “Yes--well, not really. It just means I have to make a call. Keep an eye on my food, please. And don’t even think about switching it with yours while I’m gone.” 

Taking out his phone as he walked over to the window in the kitchen, he dialed the number of his assistant. “James, I need you to find someone’s phone number for me,” Tom ordered as soon as he picked up, “Her name is Dr. Y/N L/N. She works at Rose Valley, I believe.” There was shuffling on the other end before James asked, “Is this about the article?” Tom sighed, “Yes, now please find it for me. It’s urgent.” 

There was a brief silence before James began to read the numbers out to Tom, which he quickly wrote down on the kitchen chalkboard. He thanked James before hanging up and beginning to dial her number. As soon as she picked up, he rushed out, “We need to talk.” 

“How the hell did you get this number?” she asked, sounding surprised and angry all at once. “You’re a famous doctor, I’m surprised you don’t know how easy it is to find it,” Tom scoffed, “Look, that’s not important now. We need to talk in person. There’s an article going around--” “Yes, I know about the article,” Y/N interrupted, “Why does it need to be in person?” Tom sighed, “This is urgent.”

~~~~~~~~~~

You left the hospital early for the second time this week. It wasn’t your idea, but an article had to appear the day after you were told you’d be forced to marry a millionaire. And now, said millionaire wanted to talk, claiming it was too urgent to talk about over the phone. So you found yourself on an elevator of the Empire State Building, heading up to the balcony at the top. The sun had set earlier, making the city lights shine outside. 

The elevator came to a stop, doors opening and allowing you to continue your journey to meet with him. As soon as you walked out into the balcony, you saw him looking down at the city with his hands in his pockets, back turned to you. You stopped in your tracks, deciding to maintain some distance between the two of you. He sensed your presence and fixed his posture, keeping his back to you. You cleared your throat, preparing yourself for whatever his purpose was. 

“So what do you want to talk about?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: Done!! It took a while, but it is posted!! I hope you enjoyed today’s Chapter. What did you think? Let me know in the comments as feedback is both appreciated and encouraged. Ok, I promised something else today, and rest assured it will happen. I love you, Stay Safe, Stay Proud, Be careful, and I’ll see you in a bit!! 

Taglist is OPEN

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Pride Spam Starts NOW

[alison-anonymous]

♡ miss understood ♡ t.l.

Miss Understood ♡ Tom Lucitor Imagine 

Requested: yes, thank you to @technolilly for requesting this! Let’s try to bring some popularity to Tom Lucitor fics because he doesn’t get enough attention!

Warnings: angst, EXTREME FLUFF ALERT!

This took me all night to write, and it is decently long but I had a lot to say! I was excited, this was my first Tom Lucitor request so PLEASE SEND IN MORE IF YOU HAVE ANY IDEAS FOR HIM! 

♡♡♡

      To say you had a crush on Tom Lucitor would be a very big understatement.

      You had always had a bit of bad luck when it came to the love department, but when you did fall for someone, you fell hard. Which is probably why literally everyone except for Tom knew about your crush on him, even Ludo. But, knowing you, you were far too terrified to try anything. You loved him enough to distance yourself from him, is what you always claimed your excuse was. Not like that made your aching heart any better. You feared that there was no way he could love you compared to someone like his ex, Star, because whereas Star was this beautiful, fun, princess from Mewni, you were nothing but a human bookworm with a strange obsession with cows (I added in that last part lol). You would never have a chance with someone as stunning as him.

      Where people found Tom creepy, you found him charming. Where people found him scary, you found him misunderstood. And where people claimed he had anger issues, you said he was just a work in progress. 

      Of course, just because you were hopelessly in love with him didn’t mean that you couldn’t be friends. You spent most of your time hanging out with Marco and Star, so you got to see him a lot. You were known as his favorite out of you and all of Star’s friends, which you didn’t mind. If only you wouldn’t feel like throwing up every time he was around you from all the butterflies. 

      You were committed to keeping your feelings inside, as you were petrified of rejection. Little did you know that that wasn’t quite what Star and Marco had in mind...

♡♡♡

      It all started with an innocent sleepover at the Diaz residence. 

      You, Star, and Marco had became known as the Crackhead Trio among your oh-so-loving peers, but you loved the two goofballs with all your heart. They made all the rough stuff you dealt with in life fade away. It was the weekly sleepover you guys had began having, and after filling yourselves until your stomachs bulged with junk food, you all huddled around in a circle on Star’s bed and began a friendly game of Truth or Dare.

      Innocent enough right?

      “Marco,” you smiled at him deviously. “Truth or dare?”

      He eyed you carefully, resting his chin on his hand as his chocolate eyes tried to read your level of danger. “Mmmm… truth.”

      You cackled wickedly, rubbing your hands together as an evil grin spread across your lips. Star and Marco backed away from you, arms wrapped tightly around each other as they waited for whatever cruel fate Marco was about to receive.

      “Fuck, marry, kill; Star, Oscar,” you had to bite hard on your lips to prevent you from bursting out laughing. “and Glossaryck.”

      A look of disgust crossed across his face as you burst out laughing, Star quickly following in suit until she realized she was an option in this too. An unexpected blush crept onto Marco’s cheeks as he avoided your piercing gaze, wringing his hands nervously in his red sweatshirt. 

      “We need an answer Marcoooo,” Star singsonged, leaning her head closer to him expectantly. He heaved a sigh.

      “Kill Glossaryck, fuck Oscar, and...” he turned redder than a tomato. “Marry Star.” 

      You let out the fangirling scream you had been holding in for so long as you grabbed a beet red Star and hugged her close to you. She buried her face in your shoulder so that Marco couldn’t see her face and muttered a soft ‘thank you’ so that only you could hear. She had confessed to you the same night you confessed to her about liking Tom. You had been petrified she would have been mad, but when she squealed, hugged you, and told you she was going to form a plan to get you both hitched, you knew she was completely and utterly over him. It was only right for you to make the same promise to her as well!

      Marco pulled his hood over his face and tugged on the drawstrings as you and Star sat back up. 

      “Okay, okay,” Star brought herself back. “Marco, it’s your turn!” 

      He shook his head slightly from behind his hood. “Marco is not able to come to the phone right now. I transfer my position to Star.” 

      You giggled, rolling your eyes slightly as you took a sip of the Coca Cola bottle you and Star were sharing. 

      “Okay! N/n, truth or dare?”

      “Dare. I feel pretty daring,” you smiled. Star shuffled back towards you and began to scratch her chin, staring at you intently as she formulated a plan in her mind. You sat there patiently, figuring she was just going to dare you to do something stupid, like eat a whole stick of butter or something. However, when her eyes suddenly filled with large pink hearts as a gasp left her lips and she turned to excitedly whisper something into Marco’s ear, you began to feel less sure of yourself. 

      At the sound of the words, Marco suddenly perked up, pulling his hood off his head and letting it dangle around his neck as he grabbed Star’s hands, staring excitedly back at her. “That is perfect! Oh my god!” 

      “What?” You asked incredulously. “What’s perfect?” The look Star and Marco gave you struck fear into your brain. “Star...” You warned, narrowing your eyes.

      She gave you an angelic smile that quickly turned into a devilish grin. Marco also smirked as he reached for more of his nachos. You sighed, already knowing that whatever she had planned for you, you had to do by the laws of the game. 

      “What is it?”

      “I dare you to...” she paused for dramatic effect. “ASK OUT YOUR CRUSH!”

      You had a heart attack. Not really, but your heart stopped for a minute due to the momentary shock that coursed through you. Star could not possibly be serious. Because if she were being serious, that meant that you had to ask out your crush who just happened to be the fucking demon Prince. The one who had adorable lavender skin and enchanting red... eyes...

      SNAP OUT OF IT, Y/N! 

      “Y-you don’t m-mean...” you stuttered, feeling the room suddenly become a lot more suffocating than it had previously been. Star snuggled up next to you, wriggling her brows suggestively. 

      “Ooh yeah, baby, you have to ask out Tom!” 

      Images of him flashed through your mind at a million miles an hour, startling you so much that you fell back against her pillows, hugging your knees to your chest. 

     “No, no, no, no, no, I can’t do it!” You cried out, feeling the tears of frustration prickle as Star and Marco threw their arms around you in encouragement.

     “Come on, N/n,” Marco drawled. “You like him, what do you have to lose? Worst case scenario, he says no!” 

     “Yeah!” Star chimed in. “You two would be perfect together! And besides, you are his favorite!” She poked you in the side, but their encouragement did nothing for your heavy heart. You shook your head rapidly, feeling your heart rate go through the roof.

     “I can’t.”

     “Alright,” Marco heaved a heavy, dejected sigh, giving Star a subtle wink. She suddenly leapt off the bed and raced out of the room without giving you a sign as to where she was going. You were about to follow after her, but Marco quickly blocked you, snickering slightly.

     “Marco,” you suspiciously said his name. “What’s going on?” 

     “Well, you wouldn’t do it out of your own free will, but trust me - you’ll thank us later!”

     “What in the hell are you talking a-”

     Before you were even able to finish your sentence, a portal appeared as the last person you wanted to see stepped out of it, followed by Star as well, with a giddy grin imprinted on her face. He looked around the room before his eyes rested on you, sitting on the bed, with complete terror written on your face. This was crazy. You could actually see your nightmare coming true. 

      As soon as he saw you, a smile spread across his lips as he waved slightly at you. “Hey there, darling.” He greeted, using the nickname he had given you back when you two were just starting to become friends. Usually you tried to pay no mind to it, but tonight, just the sound of his voice melted you like butter.

      Before you even had a chance to reply, Marco’s hands were suddenly pushing you towards Tom as Star was doing the same with him. He glanced at them all in confusion as you attempted to scramble away from him out of fear, but Marco prevented you from leaving until you were so close to Tom that you could practically hear his heartbeat.

      “Y/n has something she wants to ask you,” Star giggled, as she grabbed Marco by the hand and suddenly, you and Tom were alone together. 

      A gentle silence followed as he stared at you in concern, you practically fearing that your stomach was going to pop out of your mouth if you dared to open it. It felt as if though your heart were racing so much that you might drop dead, but you forced yourself upright because the perfect guy was staring at you right now.

      “Are you okay?” His voice suddenly yanked you out of your thoughts and you blinked quickly as a loose strand of your hair fell into your face. You began to reach up to brush it away, but he beat you to it, stepping even closer to you and gently tucking it behind your ear, his hand lingering on the side of your face a little longer than it should have. He stared down at you with those enchanting red eyes until you forced yourself to look away, causing him to awkwardly clear his throat and retract his hand. It might have been you, but it seemed as if though he were hesitant to move it. 

      “I’m f-fine,” you cursed your stutter. “I-I’m really sorry about this.”

      He chuckled, tucking his hands inside his pockets as he looked you in the eyes once again. “It’s alright, so, what was it you needed to ask me? It must have been pretty important for them to stage it like this.” 

      You both laughed at the awkwardness that had been created, and you suddenly realized that you had to ask him. Your brain was screaming at you to be logical and to just half ass another question, but your heart really wanted you to ask him. I mean, what did you have to lose? Marco was right, the worst thing that could happen was that he would say no. And if he said yes? Well... maybe you didn’t have to be unhappy after all. 

      “Tom, I wanted to ask if, maybe, and you totally don’t have to if you don’t want to, I know I’m-”

      He gently rested a hand on your shoulder, startling you slightly as you looked up into his eyes. “Y/n,” he softly said your name. “Breathe.”

      You slowly nodded your head, and did as he said, taking in a deep breath and letting it out softly. “I was wondering if... you would want to go out with me? Like, on a date?” 

      As soon as the words left your lips, you scrunched your eyes shut, preparing for the worst heartbreak you could ever imagine. But when only silence followed, you were confused. You began to open your eyes when you suddenly felt his arms around your waist. Before you knew it, he was shooting you up into the air with fire from his boots, holding you close, and spinning you around in his arms with the hugest grin you had ever seen on his face. “Yes, yes, yes, yes, a thousand times yes!” He cried out as you gently placed your hands on his shoulders in confusion. Were you hearing him right? “Do you have any idea how happy you’ve made me?”

      It finally clicked into place in your head. He said yes! Tom was yours! Well, not quite, baby steps, Y/n. Baby steps. You laughed, pulling yourself closer to him until you suddenly realized how high up you were, and you pressed your body against his as he slowly stopped spinning you around, but continued to hover. He must have realized how desperate he had sounded because he suddenly cleared his throat, but made sure not to let go of you as he reworded. “I mean, yeah, that’d be great.”

      You pulled back enough so you could look him in the eye. “Wait a minute, you really want to go out with me?” You couldn’t help but ask.

      He slowly began to descend as he switched from holding your waist to holding onto your hands as he gave you a sheepish look. “I mean, yeah, of course I do. You’re Y/n, you’re incredible! I’ve actually had a crush on you for a while now, but I kind of suck at this,” he laughed awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck. Your eyes widened in shock. So... he felt the same way?

      Taking a leap of faith, you delicately lifted his chin so his eyes met yours, causing a slight blush to rise on his cheeks as your sudden intimate action. You offered him a soft smile. “I feel the same way.” 

      At those words, though they were few, Tom regained his confidence completely as he swept you back up into his arms and spun you around again, this time only on the ground. You couldn’t help but laugh at how overjoyed you had made him as he gently set you back down on your feet and held you close to him, cupping your cheek gently. “I’ll pick you up tomorrow. Six sound good?”

      “I’ll be waiting.”

♡♡♡

      Of course, the date was even better than you had hoped for. Marco and Star helped you get ready before it, each of them gushing about all the future possibilities for you two, Star being most concerned about the wedding that was supposedly going to happen. He arrived to pick you up by a carriage drawn by a skeleton unicorn enveloped in fire. To any other human girl, it would have been horrifying, but to you, it was romantic. 

      He had planned the first date entirely, so it was a complete mystery as to where you were going. He first took you to have a dinner by candlelight in a very fancy restaurant that knew exactly what you favorite foods were (wink wink). You two talked and laughed and made fun of some of the other guests for hours, and it was the most fun you had had in a while. 

      After that, he took you to one of the most beautiful cliffs with a perfect view of the setting sun. You began to take a walk near the edges, but not too close out of fear you might fall off, talking the entire time. Your heart began to beat a little faster when he slipped his hand into yours. You both slowed to a stop as you stared out at the sunset in a comfortable silence when he turned to face you, gently lifting your chin to face him too. Hearts beating faster, faces turning your red, and butterflies fluttering like crazy in your stomachs, you watched as he began to close the distance between you too. Your eyes fluttered shut and you leaned in closer until-

      “SPACE UNICORN SOARING THROUGH THE STARS~” you both froze at the sound of your phone going off. Disappointment set in your stomach as Tom hesitantly pulled away, but wrapped his arm around your waist to show that he wasn’t upset. You shot him an apologetic look as you retrieved your phone from your bag and saw the familiar contact photo light up across your screen. 

      “Marco,” you sighed, a smile forming on your lips. “He probably wants to know how the date was going.”

      “Put him on speaker!” Tom said excitedly. You gladly accepted his call and clicked the speaker button.

      “Hey Marco,” you said.

      “Hey, dude,” Tom added.

      “Hi guys!” Marco greeted cheerily. “How’s the date going? Star would’ve called but she’s working on perfecting one of her spells for her mom.”

      “It’s alright,” you responded, looking up at the beautiful sunset. “I think the date is going pretty perfectly. What do you think?” You asked teasingly, looking at Tom with raised brows. He simply smirked at you.

      “I’m pretty sure there’s going to be a second one.” He chuckled.

      Even though you couldn’t see him, you were pretty sure Marco was grinning ear to ear. “I suppose you have us to thank for that, right?” 

      You were about to answer when Tom suddenly turned to you with furrowed brows in confusion. “Wait, thank him for what?” 

      Uh oh. “Uh, Marco, I’ll call you back.” You quickly hung up the phone before he could object and turned to Tom who was already starting to get even more suspicious. His eyes searched yours in confusion, and you scrambled to find the right words before he brimmed with anger.

      “Tom, please, it’s nothing-”

      “Just tell me, Y/n,” he interrupted, his expression changing slightly to desperation. You sighed. How he knew you so well was a mystery to you.

      “Before I asked you out, Marco and Star dared me to.” His face slowly began to contort out of confusion and into anger. “Wait, Tom, it’s not what you think-”

      “It was a dare?” He retracted his arm from around you, and you instantly felt a chill from where his arm used to be. “So none of this was real? You were just leading me on, toying with my feelings for you?” The last words came out in a demonic voice that was not his own as his eyes became engulfed in red hot fury, his hands setting on fire as well as his feet. He gritted his teeth in hatred as he slowly began to levitate in the air. Fear coursed through your veins as you stumbled back from him, feeling your heart breaking as tears began to fill up your eyes. 

      “No, no, Tom none of it was a lie, I do like you, I just-”

      “You led me on! This was all a joke to you, don’t even try to deny it!” He snarled, shaking with rage as his entire body became swallowed up in flames. You felt a thin layer of sweat form on your forehead from the heat and from your frustration as tears began streaming down your cheeks. At the sight of your tears, his anger faltered, if only for a moment, before he went back to being furious again.

      “Tom, no, please,” you sobbed. “Please just let me explain.”

      “I don’t want to hear it.” He opened up a portal, and in a flash, he was gone. You stood there for a moment in shock, trying to wrap your brain around what just happened before your knees buckled and you fell to the ground in a sobbing mess. 

      Of course, only then did it begin to rain. 

♡♡♡

      “Come on, N/n,” Star pressed her cheek against your closed bedroom door. “You’ve been in there for days.” Only silence followed. They couldn’t see you, but you were buried deep within your covers, still dressed in your outfit from your date with Tom, with matted hair and bloodshot eyes from all the tears. Your heart was broken. And you couldn’t find a way to get up anymore.

      Marco sighed from his sitting position on the floor next to her. “I’m not sure if it’s any use. Ever since she got back from her date, she crashed and didn’t get back up...” 

      A look of determination remained on Star’s face. “Well, I refuse to give up! She’s my co-best friend! I want her to be happy.” She grabbed Marco by the collar of his sweater and pulled him close to her face. “We have to fix this!”

      Seconds later, they were back at Marco’s in front of Star’s mirror. “Call Tom,” Star commanded. As soon as his face popped onto the mirror, Star and Marco gasped in horror. He looked even worse than they figured you did. His eyes were red and puffy, his lavender skin looked paler than normal, hair hair was messy, and his clothes looked sloppy. 

      “Hey,” he half-assed a greeting, running a hand over his face. 

      “What on earth happened to you?” Star gasped. 

      Tom’s face contorted into one of confusion and a bit of surprise. “Y/n didn’t tell you?”

      Marco and Star shook their heads. “No, after your date we were waiting for her at her place, but she stormed in soaking wet, went into her room, dropped into bed and didn’t get back up.” Marco explained. 

      “She hasn’t left her room in days,” Star continued. “I’m worried about her. So WHAT DID YOU DO THIS TIME?” She cried out, jabbing a finger at the mirror with narrowed eyes. Tom held his hands up in surrender as a look of guilt and sadness crossed his features. His three eyes cast down to the floor.

      “I may have gotten a bit mad when she told me the only reason she went on a date with me was because you guys dared her to.”

      Star and Marco sent each other fearful looks. “Okay, first, that doesn’t sound like Y/n at all,” Marco began.

      “And second, we dared her to ask out her crush. We never said you specifically! We knew she liked you, we wanted her to give her a chance because she was too scared you wouldn’t like her to ask you out on her own!” Star cried out in exasperation. Marco sighed as Star whirled around to lean her forehead on his shoulder out of frustration. A look of realization crossed over Tom’s face.

      “Oh my god,” he breathed, terror in his eyes. “What have I done? How can I fix this?” 

      “You can start by getting over there with us and apologizing,” Marco replied, rolling his eyes.

♡♡♡ 

      It was getting hot under your blankets, and it didn’t help that the sheets were wet from your dress and skin and hair, but every time you tried to move your limbs, they refused to comply from your heavy heart. You felt the tears begin to prickle once more as the thought of... him crept into your mind once again.

      Suddenly, there was the familiar sound of a dimension ripping and footsteps walking towards your bed coming from outside your sadness cave. Fear began to set in your mind as you feared the worse, when you felt the stranger sit down on the side of the bed. Slowly, the covers were lifted off of you, revealing your horrid, heartbroken figure to the harsh bright light. You squinted as your eyes became accustomed to the light and the first thing you saw was the person who stole your heart and crushed it sitting next to you, with a look of pure guilt and sadness written on his face. 

      “Y/n,” he breathed your name, and you hated the way you felt your insides melt at the sound of it. He reached out for you, but you forced yourself to prop yourself up on your arms and back away. “Y/n, I am so, so sorry.”

      With the little you had allowed yourself to look at him, you could tell he looked as bad as you did, if not worse. But you forced yourself to look away from him and out your window, resting your head down onto your pillow as you stayed silent.

      “I should have listened to you. It wasn’t right for me to be so quick to judge. I just...” he sighed in frustration at his feelings. “I like you. A lot. So much in fact, that even the idea that you might not like me back after asking me out in the first place made me feel... furious. I know I have problems, and I know now that it wasn’t about me, that your friends just wanted you to have a shot with me...” he paused for a moment. “Is it true you were afraid to ask me out because you thought I wouldn’t like you?”

      Even though you didn’t want to, you slowly nodded your head as your lips began to tremble. A lone tear slipped down your cheek as you stifled a sob. You felt disgusting for crying in front of him as his eyes softened and in seconds, he was picking you up and pulling you to him, cupping your face in his hands and wiping away the tears that began streaming down your cheeks. You were so glad to be back in his touch that you leaned in to his hands, savoring every moment.

      “I am so, so sorry, darling,” he whispered, his own eyes began brimming with tears and only then did you notice how swollen his eyes were too. You cracked a small smile and wiped away his tears as well, resting your hand on his cheek as he stared longingly at you.

      “I forgive you,” you smiled. He let out a breath in relief and tilted his head back before resting it against yours. You teasingly tapped your nose against his, causing him to laugh. 

      “I may have liked a lot of girls in the past, but you, Y/n L/n, are the only one for me. Alright?” He whispered, his breath warm across your lips. You felt your heart race as a giddy smile spread across your lips.

      “Alright.”

♡ a.a.

[horansqueen]

AM Conversations : chapter 47

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34 || CHAPTER 35 || CHAPTER 36 || CHAPTER 37 || CHAPTER 38 || CHAPTER 39 || CHAPTER 40 || CHAPTER 41 || CHAPTER 42 || CHAPTER 43 || CHAPTER 44 || CHAPTER 45 || CHAPTER 46

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- if you want to be notified when this is updated, please message me or leave a comment!

- note for this chapter: simple chapter, i know. i tried to make it more dramatic but i love them and i like when theyre happy lol. it gets worse in the next chapters tho. :X btw, sorry for this very bad chapter.

PLEASE, i would love to know what you think about Louis and Olivia’s relationship/friendship or what you want to happen or expect to happen to them. he’ll be a LOT more present in the next few chapters so i really need to know.

no request for this chapter! some planned for the next :)

Chapter 47 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

I kept looking at the time on my phone and my leg wouldn't stop shaking. It's only when Louis put his hand on one of my knees that I looked up but even his warm and compassionate smile couldn't stop stress from invading me.

"Don't worry, he'll be there soon."

I sighed but sent him a smile anyway as I looked around the living room. I had invited home a lot of Niall's friends for his birthday and had imagined a nice evening with cake, beer and games but it was already late and he wasn't home yet. He knew I had prepared that since he was very busy these days and I wanted to make sure he'd be there but even if he had promised, he was extremely late. In fact, the word 'late' didn't really apply anymore. I would have used the word 'absent' instead.

Everyone was having fun anyway, chatting and drinking, but I couldn't seem to let go and when the clock told me it was 2am, I knew it was over. My gaze moved on the pile of gifts waiting for him and I just closed my eyes, swallowing hard. His friends started to leave one by one, first with Julie and Liam, followed by Harry and his girlfriend and after half an hour, I watched Louis close the door behind Willie. As soon as it was only us two, I quickly broke into tears and Louis ran to me, catching me before I let myself fall completely on the living room floor.

"Hey, hey, it's okay darling." he whispered near my ear, helping me sit on the couch before I brought my legs up and close to my body. "You know it's because he's busy right?"

I moved away from him, suddenly a bit mad, and sent him a frown.

"I don't give a fuck!" I just let out, feeling my heart beat hard and fast against my rib cage. "I told him, I asked him a million times, and he promised, Louis! He promised!"

I thought he would get annoyed but instead, he moved closer and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me against him. I started crying again, the sound of my sobs muffled by his sweatshirt. He didn't say a word and I was so thankful that he stayed that I just closed my eyes and tried to focus on the beating of his heart to calm down. It took a few minutes but it finally worked and I moved away from him, wiping my tears and placing my hair behind my ears while I sniffed.

"It's not the first time, you know." I pointed out, raising my eyebrows and looking down at my fingers playing with my mood ring. "He's been canceling plans for a few weeks now. I'm just so tired and I miss him. And this time he promised."

"I know darling, I know."

"The truth is, i've never felt so alone." I admitted, feeling my heart break more. "I mean don't take it personal, no offense, I know we hang out and text and shit, but everything is so different without Niall."

"None taken." he said in a very low tone. "I know exactly what you mean."

I looked up in his eyes and I could read how hurt he was. I knew how much he missed Eleanor and how he still loved her and I was not really sure why he didn't just call her and tell her that this breakup was a mistake.

"I know you do."

He sent me a sad smile and brought one of his hands to my cheek, running his thumb under my eye to catch the tears and wipe them off.

"I'm sure he'll have a good reason." he added, making me close my eyes and sigh.

It took an other hour until I heard the key in the lock. Louis and I had turned the lights off to watch a movie but we both fell asleep on it. The screen was blue for some odd reason and the sound of my boyfriend walking in woke me up. I sat up and rubbed my eyes with a frown. His lips curled slightly when our eyes met but I felt my heart shatter at his sight.

"Sorry, I didn't want to wake you up, thought you'd be in bed, it's over 3am."

My lips parted and I saw him turn his head, his eyes falling on the pile of gifts. I saw his traits change as he looked around the room noticing the glasses and the food and after a few seconds, he closed his eyes and sight low.

"Oh my god, you forgot." I pointed out as I got up.

I could feel myself getting mad but after a few seconds I realized that I was not angry. I was sad and disappointed.

"You fuckin' forgot." I repeated slightly louder.

"What? No..."

"Don't lie to me, Niall!" I cut him, frowning more. "I can read your facial expressions better than your own mother."

By then it was impossible for Louis to still be asleep but I didn't look back to confirm it. All I could do was stare at my boyfriend, my lips parted as I tried to keep the tears in again. After a while, he gave in and took his cap off, throwing it on the couch before passing his hand in his hair. I looked at him as the lights from cars outside illuminated his face, and beyond the anger or the sadness, I felt the need and love I had for him overpass everything else. I knew he was busy, and I did understand why, but at the same time, I couldn't help but feel like I was losing him slowly.

"I'm sorry Olivia, I really am."

"Everyone was here, we all took time for you Niall, and you weren't there. We didn't even cross your mind of all fucking night."

I wanted him to say it wasn't true, that he at least had thought about me, but instead, he groaned low and let both his arms fall on each side of his body.

"I said I was sorry I mean, what else do you want me to do?"

"That doesn't mean that I have to be fine with it and get over it immediately." I pointed out, making him close his eyes again.

"Look, we can talk about it tomorrow okay? I just want my bed right now."

I knew he was exhausted and so was I, and I knew he didn't want to have this conversation but I couldn't help it. I felt a hand on my lower back and turned around quickly only to see Louis sending me a look that seemed to tell me to relax and I sighed low.

"Yea i'm tired too, i'll leave you guys." he walked to Niall and sent him a smile. "Happy birthday, Neil."

They hugged and I crossed my arms on my chest, waiting until Louis was gone, but when Niall turned to me again, I knew the discussion was over.

"Come on, let's go to bed."

He walked past me and brushed his fingertips on my arm, giving me a small shiver. I didn't move at all and when he was almost in the hall, he turned to me and frowned.

"You comin'?" he asked again, raising his eyebrows.

Every time he touched me, I felt something electric cross my entire body. I didn't care if it was cheesy, it was still the truth. I thought the feelings Niall gave me when we were not dating were intense but now that we were together, it was even worse. I never really believed what I read in books about the chemistry two persons could have, or how special a connection with someone could be, but now that I was living it, I wondered how I could live if I ended up losing him. I just didn't want to think about it.

"Maybe I should sleep at my place for tonight."

"You're not serious." he just let out with a frown, shaking his head a bit. "It's officially been my birthday for a few hours, I don't want you to leave."

"Yea and everyone was ready to party for you on a monday night. It only missed you."

He sighed and brought his hand to his face, moving his thumb and forefinger over both his eyes, rubbing them. I didn't know if it was just tiredness or if it was annoyance but I guessed on a bit of both.

"Please, darling, please stay."

I knew it bothered him that I had kept my apartment even if I spend all my time with him. Almost all my clothes and stuff were in his house and I knew most of my drawers were empty at my place but it didn't matter. I couldn't get myself to get rid of my lease and be fully in his house. I also had a hard time to call it my house and I really had no idea why.

"Please." he repeated.

He blinked a few times but his eyes met mine and he took a step closer. I licked my lips, well aware that he wanted to make a comment about the fact that I still had my apartment. I knew he wouldn't though, and not only because he was tired. It was mostly because his priority was to make me stay the night, and not to start a new argument between us.

"I'm still mad." I let out.

"I know."

He reached his arm out, holding his palm up and I just stared at it for a few seconds. It was a lie, I was not mad, but I was hurt. He had canceled so many plans, texted for rain checks several times a week and even left me by myself at the restaurant or the movies a few times. I knew he was working on a few songs and could spend a lot of time recording until it was exactly what he wanted, but it scared me because I knew the worst was to come. He would have to promote his song and go to interviews. I didn't even want to think about when he'd be ready to get an album out and go on tour, it was too much stress and it was useless for now.

I reached for his hand and quickly but gently, his fingers wrapped around mine. He pulled me with him to our room and when I closed the door behind him, I felt his arms around my waist. I turned around and took a step back as he took one forward. I felt my back press against the door and tilted my head, the left corner of my lips raising up.

"I'm sorry, I really didn't want to make you sad."

I was happy he didn't try to justify himself and I nodded slowly. My eyes fluttered close when I saw him move closer and his lips pressed softly against mine.

"Thanks so much for staying." He whispered against my mouth.  "Can I hold you against me all night?"

                                                      ---

"Why did you bring me here, Niall?"

It was tuesday afternoon and I was still tired. It felt like I hadn't slept at all the night before. I couldn't stop thinking about what had happened and even if I felt like I should get over it, and wanted to get over it, I couldn't seem to.

"I just want to make you happy." he shrugged a shoulder as he pulled on my arm to enter the mall. "I remember you wanted a new game right? Mario something? And you mentioned a pair of earrings you thought were pretty, I remember. Also we can get take out from that thai restaurant you like, and I was thinking-"

I stopped walking and shook my head, cutting him before he could add anything. My fingers slid on his and my arm fell on my side.

"What are you trying to do, Niall?"

He walked closer to me and put his hands in his pockets.

"Are you trying to make me forgive you for last night?" he didn't answer and I knew I was right. "I don't want your money Niall. I don't want gifts and jewels and food. I want to spend time with you. I want you to keep your promises. You can't just buy forgiveness."

His face changed and he looked down.

"You want to make me happy?" I asked with an amused smile, raising my eyebrows.

His eyes met mine and he frowned, clearly unsure of what I had planned but I just grabbed his hand and brought him with me.

"Oh god." he whispered when he realized what I wanted to do, making me laugh even more.

I pulled on his arm to get him in the photo booth with me as he tried to get money from his pocket and I jumped slightly on my seat, pressing my lips together to hide my smile.

"You are a child." he let out, putting his change in the machine.

"Take that damn cap off!" I let out, grabbing it and taking it off his head and ignoring his comment just as the first click was heard.

We both turned to each other and started laughing as the second click happened and when he yelled "grimace!", I pulled my tongue out and crossed my eyes until the third picture was taken.

"Come here."

Gently but quickly, he cupped my face and moved closer. I felt his warm palms on my cheeks and closed my eyes when his lips reached mine. I knew the fourth picture was taken but I brought my hand on top of his and deepened the kiss.

"I did forget and i'm so sorry." he whispered against my mouth before kissing me deeply again. "I'm just so busy  I mean, my schedule is so hectic."

I sighed and pulled away, a bit annoyed that unlike the night before, he was trying to justify himself. Of course, i knew he was busy and I understood. I just felt neglected and even if I knew it was a bit selfish, I couldn't help it. I didn't answer him and just got out of the booth, taking the pictures who were already printed and looked at them. I smiled when I realized he was making an exaggerated surprised face on the first one and chuckled when I saw us laugh in the second one. The way he looked at me made my heart twist in my chest until I felt a presence behind me.

"The second one is nice." he pointed out as if he was reading my mind before pointing the last one, moving his arm over my shoulder. "I'm sorry i'm hiding almost all your face with my hands on this one."

My lips curled in a soft smile as my eyes were glued to the picture. I thought it made the picture even better. The way his hands were pressed on my face and how I could still feel the tip of his fingers behind my ears and on my neck made a shiver cross my back.

"Don't be. That's just how you kiss." I admitted, pressing my lips together. "I love it."

We remained a few seconds in silence, just staring at the pictures of us in my hands, and he finally took a step back and sighed.

"Okay, let's go eat."

I turned to him and raised my eyebrows but he just sent me a smile.

"I'm not doing that to be forgiven, i'm just starving." he shrugged, putting his hands in his pockets. "Besides, i'm not letting you pick the restaurant. I may even give you the bill."

I laughed and pushed on one of his shoulders gently, making him chuckle too.

"Fine, let's do that." I agreed. "I just got paid this morning. My dad was a bit late on my last pay."

"I was kiddin', there's no way i'm letting you pay anything."

I started laughing and shook my head before raising my eyebrows.

"We'll see who gets the bill first!"

                                                 ---

I thought things would get better but they didn't. I just lied in bed, my eyes wide open and all alone for the fifth night in a row. I knew he was getting prepared to put one of his songs out in a few days and I was aware of how excited he was. Niall was also a perfectionist and I knew he wouldn't come home until it was exactly what he had imagined but for some reason I didn't understand, I always felt nervous when he was not around.

I heard the front door open and it took less than a minute until he was undressed and laying in bed with me. I felt him turn around my way and sigh, probably thinking I was asleep. He moved one of his arms around my waist and pulled me closer with a groan, nuzzling on my nape, and I brought my hand over his slowly.

"I'm sorry, did I wake you up?"

"No, I wasn't asleep."

I felt him tense and he remained silent for a while until I heard his soft voice again.

"Why not?"

I didn't want to make him feel guilty by telling him that I felt stressed when he wasn't home. That I felt alone and lonely, that I felt sad and bad in general. Instead, I grabbed his fingers and squeezed them hard.

"Can you come home for lunch tomorrow?"

The room fell silent again and I held my breath until he talked.

"Dinner?" he negotiated. I could easily imagine his eyebrows raised and his puppy face. "I could do dinner."

"Be there at 6pm." I just replied, feeling his grip tighten around me and his lips leaving a small kiss on the back of my neck, making goosebumps appear.

"I promise on my life."

I knew he'd be there. Not only because he had disappointed me on his birthday but also because I had made sure he put 5 alarms on his phone. I left the sliding door half opened to hear him walk in and when he shouted "Hello?" and closed the door behind himself, I felt my lips curl. I remained sort-of hidden on the patio and glanced inside to see him frown as he read the paper I had left.

'It's a watergun fight. If I win you owe me a whole day with only me and your phone off. Good luck!'

I saw his lips curl and he chuckled low before looking up.

"What if I win?" he yelled loud enough to make sure I would hear since he had no idea where I was.

I watched him put the paper down and his hand reached for the neon green and flashy orange gun I had left for him. I moved out of his sight and leaned against the wall of the house.

"You won't win, Horan!"

He laughed. "But let's say I do. Then you'll spend a whole afternoon playing golf with me."

I grimaced painfully and leaned my head on the wall a bit too roughly, hurting me slightly.

"You're being unfair!" I yelled again. "Spending time with me is fun. Spending a whole afternoon hitting on tiny rubber balls is not!"

"You overestimate how entertaining you are." he let out, making me frown. I was pretty sure his voice sounded closer than it did before. "And you underestimate how incredible golf is."

"Okay then but if I win, I get to choose what we do and you can't complain."

"Deal."

I heard footsteps and my lips curled into a smirk. Either way, I was going to spend time with him and it's all I really cared about. I missed him more than I could explain and spending a few hours sleeping next to him every day was clearly not enough.

"How do we decide who wins?"

"By who's wetter." I explained, still smiling in an amused way.

"Then i'll win, you can't aim to save your life."

Without thinking, I turned around and moved in front of the sliding door, tilting my head with a smirk, my gun pointing at him. He was right in front of me, very close and aiming at me too, but I just bit my bottom lip.

"There's just one thing you should have asked yourself."

"What's that?" he frowned, suddenly suspicious at how confident I was.

"'Why is my gun so light?'"

His face changed in a fraction of second and when he tried to shoot at me, he realized I hadn't filled it with water. I didn't waste any time and took a shot. He closed his eyes and let out a curse word as I started laughing and ran down the stairs to get into the backyard. I hid away again, knowing he was filling his gun and when he appeared and walked down the stairs slowly, I held my breath.

"I hope you enjoyed that." he let out louder, holding his gun on his shoulder. "T'was the only shot at me you'll get today!"

I aimed at him again but my stream didn't reach him and he turned to me, sending me a smirk.

"Shit!" I let out before running away.

I kept looking back, trying to shoot him but he had better reflexes than me and I missed every time. On the other hand, he hit me many times and I could feel my hair and shirt completely wet, sticking to my back. I ran quick enough to hide again but this time, I stayed curled up next to the patio and waited for him to appear. His eyes roamed around the backyard and I stared at his back and down his pants to make sure he hadn't kept his phone on him. I breathed in and got up quickly, running to him. He turned around just in time to know exactly what I was doing but didn't have time to stop me. I pushed him slightly and watched his arms move in circles as he tried to get his balance back without success and finally fell in the pool.

I was a bit surprised by my own audacity and it's only when his head emerged from the water that I realized I was still holding my breath. He moved his hair out of his face and my heart skipped a beat at how hot he was. His gun was floating, drifting away from him slowly and my lips curled.

"I won." I let out with a shrug. "You're wetter than me. In fact, you're drenched."

"You cheated!" he let out. I could see his feet moving in the water to keep his head out but he remained in place. "Twice!"

"Fine!" I gave in, moving my arms up, capitulating. "We both won. So one day together without phones where I decide everything, and one afternoon playing golf."

His lips curled into a large smile and he nodded slowly.

"Deal."

I watched him get out of the pool and pull on his shirt so it doesn't stick and mold his chest anymore. He passed his hand in his hair and walked up to me, quickly wrapping his arms around me. I did the same and closed my eyes as he hugged me tight and after a while, I felt him lean his cheek against the top of my head.

"I know why you did that, you know." he admitted in a low tone. "I know we barely spend time together anymore. It'll change, I promise. I know i'm gonna have interviews and stuff after my song comes out but I thought maybe you could come with me?"

My smile grew but I kept my eyes closed, hugging him tighter and making him chuckle.

"Is that a yes?"

"Yes." I whispered, feeling suddenly lighter. "It's a yes."

[ooachilliaoo]

Five Questions for Writers

Tagged by the amazing @alyssalenko – thanks for the tag lovely!

I’ll tag (with no obligation): @faith-less-one, @pip-n-flinx, @poweredbycoffeeandwine,  @serioussamiam, @hawkeykirsah @ljandersen @schizoid-freak @natsora @rpgwarrior4824

1.   Do you have a favourite character to write? Who and why?

I have a few. I love writing Alistair because of the one-liners that just seem to happen when I’m in his head but also he’s more complex that he seems? So that’s fun. I love being in my Shepard’s head. She’s very dry and controlled most of the time but there’s a lot under the surface and I like the detail you can go into when writing Kaidan because the man analyses everything. Beyond like…my mains I tend to like writing the more sarcastic, sassier characters they’re just…fun.

2.   Do you have a favourite trope to write? Or one you want to write? I mean far and away my favourite trope is the battlefield couple, the whole ‘on the field they’re deadly, around each other they melt’ thing which is why nearly all of my main OTP’s have fought together at least once. Beyond that I really want to have a go at an ‘there was only one bed’ fic I just haven’t thought of the perfect set up yet.

Share your favourite description you’ve written? 

Nooooo I can’t choose between my children. But I’m replaying ME right now so lets choose a couple of ME fics for these next two questions This is from a fic called ‘playing pool’ which is available on Ao3 here

She watched his beautiful whiskey-coloured eyes glitter with intelligence as he examined the table. She couldn’t be sure, but she had a strong suspicion, that if she could see inside his head the spaces between the balls would be filling with imaginary lines and angles, as he solved mathematical calculations by the side.

Once or twice he paused in his pacing, bending down just enough to view the line horizontally before shaking his head and moving on. Eventually he bent one final time, gave a little grunt of satisfaction, and stood to line up his shot.

And that was when she realised she was in trouble.

He leaned forward, bracing himself on one outstretched hand, which caused his shirt to pull taut over his form. Her eyes were immediately caught by the increased definition of his abdominals, hovering as they were an inch or so above the surface of the table. Of their own accord, her eyes travelled to where the materials was pulled tight across his back, which virtually rippled as he lifted the cue, and then down past his well-defined bicep to the single hand resting on the green felt.

She wasn’t sure if his hands had always been that way, or if it was something about the green felt and little pool balls, but for some reason his hand looked so large resting there. God, she remembered so clearly, so god damned clearly, what it had been like having those hands on her skin. Oh, and it had been her skin, his hands had always felt like they’d been everywhere at once, one holding fast at her hip, positioning her exactly where he’d wanted her, while the other had swept down her neck, between her breasts, then over them, before sweeping lower across the taut plane of her abdomen, his touch so light but burning all the same.

He lifted the cue, sliding it along the plane of his body to balance it carefully between the raised thumb and forefinger of his outstretched hand.

It shouldn’t have been sexy, the concentration on his face shouldn’t have been sexy. But it reminded her of those times that he’d seemed determined to drive her to the brink of insanity, or hell, probably over, by playing her like some finely tuned instrument, completely at the behest of those clever dexterous talented fingers.

Fuck, she needed to stop thinking like this or she might very well find herself doing something ridiculous. Like flipping him around, pushing him down onto the table and fucking him senseless in front of everyone.

Which now that she thought about it…

No.

She watched him make his shot, appreciating the way the quick jerk of the cue made the bicep of his other arm bunch pleasantly, revealing the tell-tale strength that lay within. She was completely unsurprised when the spotted ball glided into the pocket.

 4. Share your favourite dialogue you’ve written? I’m going to go with this from my Shenko wedding fic which, if you wanted to read the rest of it is here

Taking the hint Shepard stuck two fingers in her mouth and whistled sharply as soon as Kaidan had escorted the old lady to the door.

“So, good day everyone?” Shepard said brightly, as soon as they had assembled around her.

“Not enough fist fighting,” Wrex grumbled.

“And too many rich fuckers,” Jack added. “One of those old biddies threatened to knit me a sweater!”

“I think she was offering, not threatening, Jack,” Miranda replied.

“Don’t fucking start, cheerleader.”

“What was with all the photos and holoimagers?” Tali piped up. “Your wedding will be broadcast from virtually every angle!” 

“And there was no cake,” Garrus whined. “I saw cake. It was huge. But I didn’t get any. I thought there’d be cake.”

“And not enough romance,” Kasumi insisted.

“And definitely not enough food,” Kaidan interjected, appearing at Shepard’s side and wrapping an arm around her waist.

“I agree with you there, Maj,” Vega said.

“I could eat,” Traynor added.

“I know a good burger joint around the corner,” Jack suggested.

“Dextro friendly?” Garrus queried.

“Sure.”

“A burger sounds really good,” Miranda added.

There were general nods of agreement and then, as one they turned to Shepard.

“I’m game.” She shrugged. “Let’s go!”

And that was how they came to take over the small burger joint around the corner. Heedless of the other patrons, they re-arranged the tables such that they made one large table in the centre around which they could all sit.

Kaidan headed back from the counter and dropped the tray containing her double bacon cheeseburger in front of her. She was sure nothing had ever smelled so good in all her life. Both of her lives. She immediately popped the container open, took the burger in both hands and took a giant bite.

And the barbeque sauce promptly splattered down her dress.

Kaidan burst out laughing. Across the table, Garrus looked up at the sound, saw Shepard trying desperately to scoop the sauce up with her fingers and began laughing in turn. Pretty soon, the entire table was laughing at their sauce-splattered leader.

“Oh, shut up all of you,” she snapped good-naturedly, accepting the napkin from Kaidan’s outstretched hand.

“Frankly, I’m surprised you kept it clean for as long as you did, Shepard,” Miranda drawled, stifling her laughter.

“Yeah, and there hasn’t been an emergency or an explosion all day,” Joker added, taking another bite of his burger. “Fancy that!”

Shepard froze, her hand instantly gravitating towards the pistol hidden on her hip. In her peripheral vision, she caught Kaidan reaching into his jacket to retrieve his own pistol. The entire table went complete silent, sharing panicked looks.

“There’s no reports of any criminal activity,” Tali said, omni-tool active.

“Nothing on the C-Sec comms either,” Garrus added, mirroring Tali’s pose. Shepard nodded, accepting and trusting the information but her hand didn’t move from her pistol.

“Husband, dearest, I think it’s time we left for our honeymoon. Like, right now” she said.

“Good idea,” he agreed. They made a hasty exit from the burger joint and more or less ran to the transport hub, certain that they were operating on borrowed time.

“Take care of yourselves,” Shepard said once they reached the hub, giving out hugs, handshakes and high fives as appropriate.

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t,” Kasumi trilled, hugging Shepard back.

As Shepard boarded the shuttle and turned to wave one last goodbye to the crew, the inevitable explosion hit.

Kaidan sighed heavily. “Well, we had a good run,” he said, mechanically checking his pistol.

“And at least my dress is already ruined,” she added, doing the same.

Together they jumped back off the shuttle.

“All right everyone,” Shepard began. “Split into your teams and move out!”

The crew obeyed immediately, checking weapons and falling into line.

“We’re going on honeymoon after this right?” Kaidan murmured as they jogged along the walkway. She shot him a smile over her shoulder.

“Oh, definitely.”

 4.   A scene you haven’t written, but want to? I mean I have about 8 million WIP’s at the moment so there are many scenes I haven’t written and many of those are scenes that I want to write but because I don’t really write chronologically I don’t have that whole ‘I want to get to this good scene’ thing because I just …jump to the good stuff.   So yeah…. I badly want to finish this scene I’m in the middle of where Shepard and Kaidan take out TIM’s base and also this DA scene where Elissa goes into the fade to rescue Alistair, but inspiration is short at the moment.

[gleepotluckbigbang]

Coffee Shop Writing Prompts by @veronicabunchwrites

To start you guys off, a prompt list by @veronicabunchwrites. Veronica is no longer on Tumblr, only on Pillowfort, so I can’t reblog, only repost, sorry about that. The original post can be found here.

100 coffee shop au writing prompts!

there’s something about people meeting and falling in love over hot drinks that presents such a cozy atmosphere. it’s no wonder that it’s a favourite. some of these prompts are classic because who can resist the tried and true?

01.  clearly you’re going through a bad breakup because this playlist is the most depressing thing I’ve ever heard and I’m begging you please change it 02.  you’re my favourite employee because you always have my order ready on the days I’m running late to the office 03.  I order the same thing as my boss in case something happens to their coffee and one day, you write your number on the cup I give to my boss 04.  my friend swears that you can pick the perfect drink for anyone but I’m skeptical because there’s no way you can look at someone and just know their order - and of course, you nail my drink 05.  I run the shop beside your bookstore and I’m trying to convince you that it could be beneficial to knock down the wall between our shops and you’re being a big pain in the ass about it 06.  I hired you to make drinks not flirt with every customer that walks in and how dare you accuse me of jealousy, get back to work 07.  you were a dick to my coworker so I’ve been writing insults on your cups and why the hell do you keep coming back here anyway?

08.  I know you’re about to close and I swear I’ll give you a $20 tip, can you please just take my order? I’ve had the worst day possible 09.  a $20 tip isn’t worth me staying open late, but then you burst into tears and I end up asking you if you want to hang around to talk 10.  you’re the night manager who runs open mic nights and I’m the baker who starts at 3am so sometimes our paths cross and I like talking to you 11.  you never order the same thing more than once and just as you’re about to get to the end of the menu, I start adding new things because I’m afraid you’ll stop coming in 12.  I’ve been writing lame jokes on your cups because you’re the grumpiest person ever and you finally crack a smile 13.  you always get my order wrong and I’m pretty sure you’re doing it on purpose just so you get a free drink out of it because employees have a crap discount 14.  I’ve been working on this essay/project/article/etc. for the last ten hours and I’ve barely moved so you come over to give me something to eat and ask if I’m okay 15.  I’m dragged to open mic night by my best friend, and while I’m ordering my drink, your voice fills the room and I’m mesmerized 16.  there’s a poetry slam and while I’ve never gone on stage, I’m obsessed with your stuff 17.  you were rude so I insult you and you just left a $50 tip??? who the fuck do you think you are? 18.  I decided to use my personal (and massive) mug collection when I opened my shop and you start hanging around just to see which mug you’ll get 19.  I open a cat cafe with a separate room for the cats that are all available to adopt, and you keep coming in to sit with them even though you’re allergic 20.  I haven’t seen you in years but you just walked into my coffee shop and by your snooty attitude, you don’t seem to know that I own the place 21.  I really don’t care that you’re a famous celebrity, you will stand in line just like everyone else and that’s that 22.  this shop is really busy but I need their wifi, so could we share this table? 23.  we’re working on our school project in this cafe and I’m pretty sure my group just figured out that I have a crush on you 24.  I have a job interview and you're the clumsy employee who just spilled hot coffee all down my white shirt 25.  I’m on the worst blind/Tinder/Grindr date and you ‘accidentally’ dump a drink on my date to save me 26.  you’re a big city person visiting my tiny coffee shop in a small town and you’re so rude when you ask if we have cappuccinos that I lie and say no 27.  I just bumped into my ex so I slip my arm in yours to pretend you’re my current partner even though you were just standing in line behind me 28.  my umbrella broke and I just stepped into your shop soaking wet and you run upstairs to get me some towels from your apartment and I’m sorry I’m crying but this is the nicest thing that’s happened to me all week 29.  my AC isn’t working at my apartment so I’ve been spending most of my spare time here and using your wifi and I think you’re flirting with me 30.  I’ve been hanging out more because I sit at the counter to watch two baristas flirt (OT3 bonus!) / and you join me so we make a bet on when they’ll get together 31.  I named my coffee shop Coffee Shop and you’re the customer who loudly talks about how stupid the name is 32.  I’ve been sitting in the break room wondering how to ask you out on a date when you come in and announce you were just asked out by a customer (bonus if OT3!) 33.  you’re a famous celebrity who ducks in to my quiet shop and asks if you can hide, and I mean, sure, but are you going to order something? I have to make a living here, dude 34.  I know you own this place but dude, this song has been on repeat for the last hour and I will pay you to change it 35.  I’m really nervous as I’m meeting a family member for the very first time and you’re the kind employee who sits with me to help calm my nerves 36.  you’re staring at me and I don’t know why until you tell me I’ve been singing along to my music and I’m mortified because I didn’t realize 37.  I saw your Help Needed sign in the window and you look busy so where are the aprons and how can I help? 38.  every day I write a quote on a chalkboard on the wall and apparently you’re the author I just quoted but you’ve never shown your face in public before so why are you telling me? 39.  someone left a note in the suggestions box that the barista is the cutest person they’ve seen and I’m laughing as my coworkers discuss who it could be when you quietly admit it’s about me 40.  you just cut in front of me in line and I’m not in the mood to let it slide 41.  I noticed you were on ao3 reading smut and when you go up to get something else to drink from the counter, I realize you’re reading the fic I posted twenty minutes ago 42.  your dog and my dog just tangled their leashes outside the coffee shop and now they won’t leave each other’s sides, so do you want to join me at this table? 43.  I know it’s not my place but your teenager seems to be mixed up in a bad crowd and I thought you should know they’re hiding in the bathroom crying right now 44.  your father comes in weekly at the exact same time and orders the exact same two drinks because that’s what he used to do with your mother and you come looking for him 45.  I really need you to put up this flyer on the community board but you’re sort of being a prick about it 46.  you hire my band to come place on a weekly basis but the more time I spend with you the more time I want to kiss you 47.  you’re my ex who I’ve never really gotten over and you just surprised me by paying for my coffee and I’m not prepared to see you 48.  my coworker wrote my cell phone number on your cup when I wasn’t paying attention and now you’re texting me 49.  after overhearing you order the eccentric coffee shop owner’s drink of the week, I warn you that it never tastes good (bonus if you convince me it’s great this week so I sip and suffer with you) 50.  the last clue to my partner’s scavenger hunt is supposed to be here, and while I’m looking for it, I discover that you’re my partner’s friend who set the whole thing up (bonus: ot3) 51.  I sold my business for millions when I was in high school and tried to disappear from the spotlight but I’ve just been spotted drinking your coffee and feel bad since you’re overwhelmed with the sudden influx of new customers 52.  I overhear you talking to your friend about how you’re planning on meeting up with your ex and I can’t stop myself from butting in because that’s a bad mistake 53.  I’m hosting a food-eating contest to raise money for charity at my shop and you seem to have an endless stomach that makes me a little concerned 54.  I catch you in the act of placing your newspaper over a customer’s cell phone/wallet/etc. and then stealing it when they deny you money 55.  you walk into my coffee just before close looking like a runaway bride/groom/princess/prince/royalty so I stick around to keep you company 56.  meeting at the coffee shop feels like fate, but now we’re sitting here because I’m terrified to tell you my big secret 57.  you’re a grumpy customer who doesn’t talk but you always have the most fun tie/socks/dresses/sweaters/etc. and I look forward to see what you wear next 58.  I’ve been obsessed with your homemade soups and I always rave about them to the cashier but I didn’t realize you also make them until you surprise me with a new recipe 59.  I rent out your shop for the evening to propose to my significant other and they dump me on the spot 60.  I run a baking class one night a week after hours at my shop and you keep coming back despite being the worst baker ever 61.  you left me a bad review so I’m tracking you down to yell at you and demand a retraction 62.  you’re the contractor I’ve hired to build individual bathrooms so I can offer genderless options for people (bonus if contractor is trans/nb/gender queer) 63.  I host a board game night every Friday and you always come in with your best friend and ask me to teach you a new game and I cannot believe you’ve never played Life before (or: insert own game) 64.  I’ve been getting really creative with my foam art and I do some naughty-bits to amuse my coworker on their drink when you mistakenly take it and think I’m hitting on you 65.  I’m wiping down a table when I notice that you left a cell phone number on the back of your receipt for your lunch and I ask my coworker if I should text you (bonus if ot3) 66.  every time you come into my shop, I swear you have a new sticker on your laptop and I desperately want to ask about this one 67.  you come in to steal the shop’s wifi for video calls with your mom/dad/family member and when they see me in the background, they think I’m your new partner 68.  I really suck at my job but I desperately need the money and when I get fired for spilling your coffee all over you, you offer me a job because you feel bad 69.  we’re coworkers who make out in the supplies closet and get caught by another coworker (bonus if ot3!) 70.  someone enters my hot chocolate into a contest for the National Best Hot Chocolate and you’re the hot judge who gets snowed in town for a few days 71.  you join me at my table thinking I’m your blind date and you don’t stop talking about how nervous you are for this date so I don’t get a chance to tell you that you have the wrong person when your actual date comes up and thinks you were hitting on me while waiting for them 72.  I watch you pull out a flask and add alcohol to your drink and then you wink at me 73.  I’m playing a game on my computer but I keep failing at the level so you tap my shoulder and tell me how to beat it (and we spend the rest of the afternoon in the coffee shop bonding) 74.  I've been assigned a fluff article about the different types of people who spend their days at coffee shops but I can’t seem to figure out why you’re here (articles: x, x, x) 75.  I found you curled up under a blanket asleep at my front door so won’t you come in, I’ll get you some food and give you a job 76.  you’re my favourite actor in my favourite TV show but by the sounds of that phone call, you seem to be having a rough day so instead of flailing, I offer you some words of support 77.  I don’t know how to spell anyone’s names correctly so I spell them phonetically and you always mumble your name so I just make up something 78.  I bump into you and knock your coffee out of your hands and you look like someone just died because you’re having the worst week ever and can I make it up to you? 79.  we met online and you suggest this place for our first date and I’m terrified you’ve catfished me or you’re going to stand me up 80.  when people hit on me and ask for my number, I usually make up a number to put on their cups, and today I just happened to write your number on your cup so you call me out 81.  you’re my significant other’s ex and you’ve invited me to coffee to tell me that I can do better and our connection is immediate 82.  I’m in the middle of a rant about this book I’m reading and oh my god you’re the author in line behind me and I’m sorry, not sorry 83.  you take a selfie and I photobomb you, but you don’t notice until the entire photo goes viral so we agree to meet back at this coffee shop 84.  I’m sorry for laughing at you walking into the glass door/window, please let me help you up 85.  I’m a little concerned that you might be too addicted to coffee since you always come down from your office to my little shop to get your fix multiple times a day but my coworkers think you have a crush on me 86.  I’m expecting an important phone call but my phone is about to die and please, please let me borrow yours 87.  I know your sign says ‘no shirt, no shoes, no service’ but can I please give you a really long explanation as to what has led to me desperately needing coffee without a shirt or shoes 88.  I’m a witch barista and I charm your drink so that you have a better day 89.  I’ve been trying to borrow this particular book that the local/college library only has one copy of and I just realized you’re reading it at this coffee shop and goddammit, why haven’t you finished with it yet? 90.  some asshole just stole your purse/backpack without you noticing so I instinctively jump into action and chase him down the street to get it back for you 91.  you’ve cut in front of me in line for the last three days by shooting me a charming smile and leaving me a little dumbfounded but today, that will not fly 92.  I keep making work-related puns and you’re the grumpy coworker who refuses to find me charming 93.  you sit down at my table and quietly tell me to pretend we’re talking because you’re trying not to be seen by someone and I’m so confused as to what is going on but you’re cute so I’ll roll with it 94.  you order the same obscure drink from the app but I always miss you picking up your drink from the counter and today, I’m going to finally watch to see who you are 95.  I don’t know who you think you are, but you really can’t make this shop your office unless you’re going to order more than one tea for the eight hours you stay here 96.  you read tea leaves as a hobby so I always bring my cups to you when I’m finished 97.  you look like you’re having a bad day so I get some icing and draw a smiley face on your cookie 98.  I overheard you talking about how you wish my shop had board games so the next time you come in, I watch your reaction to my new shelf of board games 99.  you’re the very kind employee who brings me my favourite tea when you witness my public (and loud) breakup 100.  this coffee shop is owned and run by queer people and is so very gay with our decor and the names of our menu items, and I’m pretty sure you’re not as straight you think you are because you keep coming in and asking a thousand questions 101.  you dropped to your knee to tie your shoe but suddenly, people are congratulating us on getting engaged and we just scored free coffee so we roll with it 102. I’m wistfully watching a couple when you come up to the counter to order something and get frustrated with my daydreaming

[d00dt00nz]

Obligatory promo stuff at the top because it sucks and I hate it and let's get it out of the way! follow me on twitter where I'm active, check me out on spotify for music, or like my facebook for sparse updates on music stuff. Thank you. The Cover art is by Ellie Tison

I'm 27 years old. It's a really frightening number to look at. It's been frightening for about two years. Honestly I'll probably only come to terms with being that age when I reach 30 – a much more frightening number. I'm told that at 30 is when my body will just absolutely start falling apart, so that's something to look forward to. That said, mostly I just try not to think about it. Obviously a high number is not a problem in and of itself, but I definitely feel like I haven't accomplished things that I'd like to have accomplished by this point. That said, if you're a millennial and you're on the internet and especially if you're reading this, then you probably are in a similar crisis. We simply don't have the economic and social mobility that our parents had.

Many people my age don't dream big. Our dream is of comfort – of building something of our own, carving out our own nook in life. Somewhere deep inside, we want to live as our parents did. We want to brazenly rush into things as our parents did but we cannot. I think a lot of millennial anxiety comes from growing up in the colossal fallout of mistake after mistake from a generation that not only could, but did rush into things. It's made us hyperaware of our own place in the world while being envious of people who don't know their place – people who just seem to fuck up over and over again while running away from their problems and pretending they don't exist.

Some people are good at running away from their problems. I'm very bad at it. It's not for lack of trying either. You'd better believe I'm prone to clearing out like Fred Flinstone. Unfortunately it doesn't work out for me. I'm bad with change and easily stuck in the past – like many people my age. Others seem to handle it better. It's not some kind of moral blame game either. In a world where we don't have a lot of freedom, escape is the only real power. Escape is, after all (in theory), a change.

Which is all to say I know a bunch of people who went to china to become english teachers. On the surface it can seem like a fun white middle class adventure. Personally I feel the reasons are much more complex and (sometimes) a little bit more sad. Most people, I've noticed, go to escape a life where they feel stuck and unsatisfied. China the final cheat-code of the aimless middle class slacker. Of course it's a fantasy because you can't escape yourself. You'll just be you in a different place. The goal I guess is that you become thrown into such an intensely alien situation filled with so much stimulation that you'll temporarily become somebody who isn't you. Again, there's no blame here. I'd probably do the same, but I've got that nagging hyperanxiety about losing what I do have.

That basically wraps up the “inspiration” of the song. Specifically it came when me and one of my good friends shared a beer on my driveway in the middle of the night. He was leaving the next day to teach english in China. I had a sneaking suspicion he was doing it to escape from a relationship where things had fallen apart, but both were too afraid to let go. I remember feeling incredibly alone. There was so much movement around me and I felt like I was staying still.

Instrumentally the song started out as my third attempt to capture the feeling of Fleetwood Mac's Think About Me from Tusk. I heard the song and immediately became obsessed with it's relatively minimalist groove and vaguely manic energy. I've always admired how Lindsey Buckingham can write an interesting song on a small amount of meaningful chord changes. I also very much enjoy that 70s production style of having a million different guitars, organs, and keyboards in that make up a big, simple, layered groove.

The melody was difficult for me because it's at the edge of my vocal reach. It took a long long time to get a good performance and then it took another long time to get another good performance as to double track the vocals. As well, the chorus melody that I originally planned was too high to song so I had to figure out another melody. In theory I could have took the song down a key, but I'd already recorded the verses as well as the backing track at that point and liked how they sounded.

I mentioned earlier that I was trying to mimic the minimalist vibe of a Fleetwood Mac singing-blindfolded-naked-at-3am type song but this finished product is obviously a little less minimalist. I'm not sure if it was actual good decision making or self consciousness, but I felt like the song felt boring (I am deeply afraid of moments in songs where nothing is happening). I added the Phil Spector sounding oo-la-la's in the pre-chorus purely as a “uh I gotta put something there” type reaction, and I guess it just turned out like that because it's my default mode of indulgence.

The whistle at the beginning was put there because the opening sounded pretty dull. There wasn't anything to grab onto, and frankly the guitars were just .... there ... There wasn't any feeling like “ta-da! I'm here!”. The song just felt like somebody strolling into your house and eating your food without acknowledging you. I didn't like that. The whistle might sound synthesized, but it's not. It just sounds like that as a result of the double tracking, and the compression, and the limiting, and the eq, and the reverb, ect. It's a penny whistle that I found lying around in my basement, which, who knows what bacteria was on that mouthpiece (am I patient zero of coronavirus?). The thing was actually a little bit difficult to record because the penny whistle was in C and the song was not. I saw a guy on youtube half covering holes on a penny wistle to get sharps and flats so I just kinda imitated that technique and figured out which fingerings I needed in sequence. It took some pitch bending with my mouth as well but that's okay, it worked out in the end. I doubletracked it for good measure to make it better mesh with the existing instrumentation. I'm actually worried that it sounds a little “asian” now, which makes me worry that people might miscronscrew it as a racist gesture, given that it's also on a pentatonic scale which some people associate with chinese music (don't get me started on that). I promise it's not mean to sound “chinese” or anything stupid like that, and it's not even on any kind of asian instrument.

In general, love the song. I'm very happy with it turned out. It might be my favourite song on the album. I tinkered with it for almost a year, which typically just ends up with a big vortex sludge of a song, but somehow it came out better for it.

[reformedorthodox]

It’s been a few years and I still have problems with capitalism

My deployment to Iraq defines a large portion of my life. I was a medic attached to a National Guard infantry unit, and despite having a relatively "easy" deployment, I came back with PTSD and depression. An example of the hard transition: I went to Disneyland two weeks after I came back from Iraq. While in a place of enchantment, my cheeks ached. I had been so stern for so long that my smiling muscles were underused. (This also shows how great Disneyland is) That's a light-hearted example. In reality, I silently suffered suicidal thoughts for years, and I dropped out of university multiple times, which lead me to question my service. I sacrificed my body and mind for America, but I kept wondering, "Why?" Ultimately, based on research, the atrocity of the Iraq war is at capitalism's feet. Yes, that economic system that we often credit for giving us democracy, freedom, and a decent paycheck. To understand how we can blame capitalism, let's start from the beginning. To begin the inquiry, it's helpful to look at the five major promises of the war. 1. Iraq held weapons of mass destruction (WMDs) - nuclear, biological and chemical weapons that could attack America - and it was necessaryto make America safe from it 2. Iraq was in cahoots with Al-Qaeda 3. Iraq was involved with 9/11 4. American forces would be welcomed with open arms to embrace western-style democracy 5. The war would be quick and easy As it turned out, none of these promises held a grain of truth. Iraq did not hold WMDs after Desert Storm; Saddam saw Al-Qaeda as a threat to his hegemony; Saddam didn't communicate with Al-Qaeda to coordinate attacks on 9/11; American forces were not welcome en masse; the war lasted nearly a decade. That's a tough pill to swallow as 4,500 troops died in Iraq, and 50,000 severely injured, with veteran suicides routinely outnumbering the troop casualties every year. This adds urgency to the question of "why?" by adding another item: "why was the American public deceived into fighting the war?" Actually, the American public didn't wholly buy the war justifications. 50% of Americans opposed the Iraq war, holding anti-war rallies for months across every major city before the invasion. Obviously, it was not enough, but they saw something the other half did not. For 50% of Americans, the reason we went to Iraq was for oil. Let's investigate this claim. We will look at testimonials and accounts by journalists and soldiers on the ground, including my own. By the time I graduated from initial military training, the Iraq war was ramping up, and I was eager to get into the fight. Training makes you eager to prove your mettle. So I walked up to my First Sergeant and asked to be on the next unit's deployment to Iraq (again, I was in the National Guard, so asking to deploy was a thing). He glinted with pride in his eyes as a young buck offered himself to go to war. I would too if I were in his position. Word got around my unit, and on two separate occasions, Sergeants walked up to me and said something to the effect of, "Why would you volunteer yourself?" One said, "We get into a major war every thirty years and small ones every ten. You'll get your time." The other said something more meaningful to me, "See this ribbon I have here? This ribbon is for fighting for the war on terrorism. I didn't fight any fucking terrorists. I fought the Iraqi Army. There are no fucking terrorists over there." He implied that the war was based on lies. (There would later be insurgents in Iraq, whom we called terrorists) Now, let's look at the ground-level experience of other soldiers. First Lieutenant Paul Rickeoff lead a platoon of soldiers in the hottest areas of Baghdad. In his book "Chasing Ghosts," he recounted the tales of not having the necessary body armor, no humanitarian aid, and no real plan to bring Iraq to its feet. There were death and destruction, and he didn't have the help he needed to help the Iraqi people. In Chris Hedge's and Laila Al-Arrian's book "Collateral Damage," Americans enacted a sort of terrorism to keep civilians in line by routinely conducting home raids, convoys, patrols, detentions, and military checkpoints. Untrained to fight an insurgency, American troops killed indiscriminately both insurgents and civilians. In "War Without End" by Michael Schwartz, he called these acts of terrorism as collective punishment. Of course, there are the deaths involved with insurgents – insurgents who never have fought if we did not invade. The collective punishment, indiscriminate killed, and search and destroy of insurgents killed between 150,000 to 600,000 Iraqis. It also internally displace 2 million Iraqis. A state that had never seen Al-Qaeda now had operatives running from village to village, all the while American troops blindly and haphazardly tried to keep the peace. Journalist Thomas E. Ricks offers a broader perspective on the debacle. Ricks recorded conversations with General Petraeus during the war, a principal coordinator in fighting the insurgency, and wrote his bird's eye view of the Iraq war in the book "Fiasco." In it, we begin to piece together these different random violent experiences of Soldiers and Marines into a larger narrative. Ricks asserts a bold claim: The widespread chaos of individual servicemembers is because America did not have a game plan. Why wouldn't America have a game plan in Iraq? What was its real intention? Ricks continues in his book that during the initial invasion, American troops stood idly by as the bureaucracies and government offices were ransacked (it should be noted that after WWII, America worked in tandem with the defeated police and military to restore order). Instead of protecting the public good, military leaders directed troops to protect oil refineries. During the invasion, American bombers were directed to not hit oil refineries. Then, shortly after the invasion, American contractors were immediately sent to the refineries, and modified the refineries to American proprietary technology, making Iraq dependent on American expertise. Wolfowitz, an architect of the Iraq war, made plans to increase Iraqi oil production from 2.5 million barrels a day to 3.5 million barrels. This focus on protecting oil refineries had dire consequences – millions of Iraqis suffered from a lack of clean water, power, and food because American troops protected oil rather than the livelihood of Iraqis. Thus, it's evident that the Iraq war suffered a lack of coordination for a lot of troops but was very well-coordinated to protect oil interests. I recall hearing Sarah Palin, in the 2008 election, justify the Iraq war by saying, "at least we got oil out of it." (we never did, actually) So what does oil have to do with blaming the Iraq war on capitalism? We've looked at individual experiences and a broad stroke of American actions in Iraq. Now let's step back even further and look at the structures of the American economy. The American economy runs on cheap energy. It is what allows people to commute to work, to enable factories to build gizmos and to travel and enjoy themselves. Every time the price of oil goes up, it gums the economy as money is not spent on goods and services, but is instead gobbled by oil producers. According to the Research Unit for Political Economy in their book "Behind the Invasion of Iraq," America was primed to invade Iraq even before 9/11. The book predicted that America would go to war in Iraq for a simple reason: America needs cheap energy, and it needed to get out of the grip to OPEC. The logic is simple: The goal in a capitalist economy is to generate profits. That's why capitalists invest - they hope to get a return. So they spend to build factories and other materials, until one day, the supply of the goods they produce outstrips demand. As demand declines, producers slow down their production and fire workers. Over investment and underwhelming demand inevitably trigger recessions. There is no right solution to fix the inevitable recession. Still, one way to alleviate a pending recession is to issue a credit to Americans. Americans hold the lion's share of the world's debt. But in order to make sure American keeps spending, debt cannot be piled up into gas for cars or expensive energy for homes. In addition, capitalist economies can help ward off pending economic collapse by using its military: 1. The military secures supplies to oil, furthering access to cheap energy 2. Invading Iraq makes sure oil is always tied to the dollar, which props up the economy 3. Controlling the oil makes sure other economies bend to America's will So there you have it. This is the argument why we went to war in Iraq: to get oil. And why is oil so essential? Because the capitalist economy needs cheap energy, and the dollar needs to remain stable. American adventurism into Iraq harkens to many other colonial projects, like that into the Philippines (so America could have access to Chinese markets), into Central and South America (for cheap labor and resources) and Vietnam (to maintain French colonialism). It also rings true to British, German, Spanish, Portuguese, Italian, and French colonialism across the globe: To exploit the local resources for profit at home. In the end, the American adventure in Iraq is just another colonial expedition. It functioned with the exact same reasons as European powers at the beginning of the 20th century and often operated with similar brutality. It comes at the price of hundreds of thousands of dead human beings and thousands of injured service members. One can imagine a simple counter-argument: We needed to invade Iraq to maintain American dominance in the world. A conservative friend of mine, a sniper in the Marine Corps, retorted to me, "I don't mind America being #2 behind China if it means we're not invading other countries." I agree: Invading and killing other people in unseen parts of the world is not worth maintaining American hegemony. We can imagine better than the cyclical nature of capitalist invasion; this is why I'm opposed to it.

[missandrogyny]

The first time he sees it, he’s scrolling through Instagram while eating his breakfast.

Tag someone who would love it here, the caption on an Instagram post says, accompanied by a thumbnail of a lady straddling what looks to be a giant rod. Louis stops scrolling out of habit, taking a bite out of his bowl of cereal.

He doesn’t realize what, exactly, he’s watching, until the one minute Instagram video starts replaying itself. This time, Louis finds himself marginally more awake, watching a bunch of people straddling giant penises, taking photos of giant penises, reading fucking signs from penises on the side of the road. Because, apparently, Instagram decided to show him an ad about a penis park in South Korea.

“What the fuck,” he declares, “is this.”

From somewhere to his left, Clifford barks. He’s eating his breakfast as well, the dog food Louis had put in his doggy bowl, but he always likes to bark whenever Louis talks out loud. He probably thinks Louis’ offering him leftovers or something.

“Good boy,” Louis says absently, his eyes still glued to his phone. He doesn’t really understand why he’s seeing this right now. It’s arse-o’-clock in the fucking morning. He doesn’t wanna see any penises while eating breakfast unless he’s about to get laid.

Besides, how does Instagram even know that he likes dick, anyway?

“Cliff, do you think Instagram knows that I’m gay?” He asks absently, his thumb keeping the screen lit up. The video is playing for the third time, now. It’s getting really weird. The people at Instagram probably think he’s never seen a penis before. Louis should really scroll past now.

Clifford barks again. Louis hums. “Yeah, maybe,” he says nonsensically, before scrolling down. He’s about to look at the next photo on his feed when he catches sight of the account that posted it.

“Ladbible,” Louis frowns. “Huh.” Guess it’s not an Instagram ad after all.

That’s strange, because he knows the ladbible Instagram account--he’d followed them a few months ago, because they’d been posting videos about football and other things related to Louis’ interest. Now, when he clicks on the username and scrolls through the account, he finds nothing but pictures of memes. And not even good memes.

“Huh,” Louis says again. He’s about to click unfollow when Clifford starts whining, scratching at the door. He sighs, sets his phone on the table, and goes to let his dog out.

---

He promptly forgets about the ladbible until a few days later, while sitting on Liam’s couch and watching a film. It’s one that Louis has seen countless times, so he has no qualms about opening his various social media. He only ever likes the action scenes anyway.

He’s doing just that now, opening Instagram and liking a bunch of photos when he spots it. I care deeply about like 5 people in my life and about 500-600 dogs I’ve never met on Instagram, the photo reads.

He frowns at it, confused, before he realizes that ladbible posted it. “The fuck,” he mutters to himself, then leans over to elbow Liam. “Liam, look at this.”

Liam, who’d been watching the film, turns to look at Louis’ phone. “Um?” He says.

“Isn’t it dumb?” Louis asks, clicking on the comments and scrolling through it. He can’t believe this shit even got 82,000 likes. There is a lot of better content out there that deserves 82,000 likes.

“It’s relatable...?” Liam replies, sounding a bit unsure. Louis huffs.

“No, it’s not,” he says. “You’re telling me you only love six people in your life and six hundred dogs?’

Liam shrugs. “Dogs are cute.”

“Yes, but that doesn’t mean you only care about six people,” Louis argues. “Like, you’ve got your mum, and your dad, then Ruth and Nicola. Then you’ve got your nan. Your aunts and uncles. Your cousins. Andy. Me and Zayn. That’s easily more than six people.”

Liam looks amused. “Tommo, you do know what a meme is, right?

“Of course I do, Payno,” Louis says, rolling his eyes, “but this is really just shitty.”

He doesn’t really think much about his next few moves, just taps on the comment bar and types out, As much as I love dogs, it’s posts like this that show how the Lad Bible is going down hill. Sad to see ! He presses send, then scrolls past the post, going back to liking a bunch of photos.

---

After that, ladbible pops up much more frequently on his feed. It’s really rather annoying, because Louis will just be scrolling peacefully down, trying to update himself on the lives of his sisters and his mates, when there’ll be a random meme in the middle of it all. And it’s not even good memes--they’re shitty ones, some of them even screenshotted and reposted from Twitter or Facebook. Louis finds himself irrationally annoyed by them.

He knows, at the back of his mind, that the logical thing to do here is to just unfollow, so he never sees their content again. But Louis has never been logical, and hate-following someone just sounds like a lot more fun than unfollowing. At least there’s something he can take his annoyance out on when he’s had a pretty shit day.

It’s pretty obvious to Louis that the person currently running ladbible knows nothing about being a lad. Lads often talk about football and sports and doing fun, adventurous things. Lads do not post six versions of the Spongebob meme, or videos of fluffy kittens and puppies. Lads also do not post videos about eating penis cakes.

(Although Louis admittedly watches that one.)

It’s not all bad, though. There are times when ladbible posts something relevant to Louis’ interests. A video of some blokes doing pretty sick skateboarding tricks. A video of a bunch of men doing stunts for an action film. A video about a drive-through for Gregg’s. 

Louis shows his appreciation for that by commenting Finally some REAL news on here.

Ladbible follows it up by posting a photo of lightning hitting water with the caption Fuck these 6 fish in particular - God. 

Louis rolls his eyes. Not funny . he comments. Get better.

---

It all comes to a head a few days later, when ladbible posts a photo of Drake. Why does Drake look like he bought a drink from across the bar and now he’s just waiting to be acknowledged, the caption says, and okay, fine, Louis can kind of see it, but really, this is just unnecessary. What did Drake even do to ladbible? Drake is more of a lad than, well, ladbible.

Who runs this shit ? He comments, during the half-time of a footie game. Content used to be looooooooooads better.

He locks his phone after that, focuses his attention back to the game. Man U is currently tied with Chelsea, and they’re about to do some penalties. There’s a big chance that Man U might lose this match. Louis might actually cry if they do.

Luckily, they don’t, and Louis finds himself jumping on his sofa happily, celebrating the one-point lead Man U had. He pulls his phone out of the couch cushions, just so he doesn’t actually crush it, pauses when he sees he’s got a reply from ladbible.

@louist91 This is Harry :D it reads. Who are you?

Louis blinks at it, slowly settles back down on the couch. Ladbible replied to him. What the fuck.

He’s never really thought about what he’d do should this happen--Ladbible has about four-point-five million followers on Instagram, after all. Each of their posts gets an average of eight hundred comments. Louis had always thought his comments would disappear under all the others.

Except. Ladbible saw his comment and replied. What the actual fuck.

There’s only one thing to do. Louis takes a deep breath, taps on the comment bar. He’s never been one to quit when confronted, and he’s certainly not one to run away with his tail between his legs.

Hi Harry, he types out cautiously. I’m Louis . Why is the content on here shit ?

He sends it, watches as it appears under the other comments. The post he’d commented on is getting quite a bit of attention now, so Louis thinks that maybe ladbible--Harry--won’t find his comment anymore.

But he does. Hi Louis! the comment says. it’s not shit, it’s funny. :D

Apparently, Harry is an avid smiley face user. Who knew. It’s shit, Louis replies, his fingers flying furiously over the keyboard. What happened to all the content about footie and going on trips around the world?

Niall does those! :D comes the reply, a few seconds later.

Where’s Niall then ?

Southeast Asia. Harry says. He asked me to update his account while he’s there.

Louis hums. How long will he be there ?

Six months, the comment says. 

Louis’ eyes widen. Six months?! He has to deal with shitty memes for six months?!

I have to deal with shitty memes for six months ? he types out, because he’s not very good at keeping thoughts like this to himself.

If you don’t like them just unfollow the account , Harry replies, and the words in Louis’ head sound a bit angry. Condescending. or better yet, make your own account.

He’s so--Louis finds himself getting riled up. Is it so wrong to want good Instagram content? To get what he joined Instagram for? Harry isn’t even the original owner of the account. Who the fuck does he think he is, telling Louis to unfollow for not posting the content he wants? If anything, Louis should be the angry one. Louis knows what ladbible should be posting, and this guy Harry is out here, just fucking everything up. He signed up for cool, laddy content. Not shitty Twitter Screenshots and six versions of that damned Spongebob meme.

“Fine,” he mutters to himself. “Fine.” He comments the same thing on the post, locking his phone and placing it on the coffee table. If Harry wants him to make his own account, Louis will damn well makes his own account. And it will be much better than the shit Harry posts on a daily basis.

---

Which is why the next day, @betterladbible is born.

[deztinywarriors]

The Linked Charms - Episode 4 (Multi Liverpool players)

[anothergirlrecovering]

Lynn 104

Honestly this kind of just felt like another wasted session. We basically just talked about like directions for treatment and she has reminded me so many times now that maybe EMD our isn’t the best thing for me and if we can’t make progress with it then it’s OK to try something different which would mean seeing a different therapist and I think that’s why she always tried so lightly around saying it but I know what she’s indicating. She asked about my initial target memory and I said that it just feels like I want still but that the feeling of I only matter if I’m sick Still really bothers me and I explained how even with saying that I Titian there’s like that anxiety there of feeling like I’m supposed to be sick which makes it harder to get better and I’m not saying that that means I am trying to get worse or anything but it creates an added layer of anxiety because it feels like I shouldn’t be getting better. She asked how the dietitian when I said I saw her this morning and I had cried. She asked what happened and I explained how she had weighed me and we set goals for the week that we’re a little bit more explicit them last time and she gave me a worksheet about my values to do and she wants me to set healthy boundaries with my parents because they fit into my anxiety about food and I explained how I think initially it did start off by unintentionally missing breakfast and lunch with that eventually like this last week when I tried to add things and I realized I had a lot more anxiety doing it. She told me about some Brene brown Interview she had watched which was about self-care and how important it is to take care of yourself and I had apologize for our last session and for being argumentative and defensive and it wasn’t my intention to come across as rude and she said it was OK and I asked her if she was still mad at me and she was confused and I was like because of last session and she was like no And I was like well then was there something else that you were mad about because you looked confused and she was like no I was confused because I wasn’t mad. She asked me about what I did with those feelings after session and I explained how all the next day I really examined how my affecting my clients and explained how like I really don’t think that I’m doing them harm and that I was really angry at myself for not communicating well with Lynn because I think it was taken in a different kind of way then I had meant it and I explained how I don’t feel overwhelmed by my clients but I felt overwhelmed by my caseload in the fact that I was full and couldn’t take on more clients but had a lot of people asking to be seen. She said she understood. She asked about where I felt stuck and I was like honestly just kind of depends on the day I don’t know really sure and then Lynn one on this tangent about perfectionism and how that’s the block that we keep hitting and how she thinks self deprecation is sort of a secondary game for me at this point because it reinforces my attempts to be perfect and how We have to address that and then she asked me if Sony had ever brought that up and I was like no I mean she was pretty rigid about sticking to the protocol and didn’t really talk about anything outside of the phobia other than that one session that she lectured me about moving and then asked me to bring in a sheet of paper where I had written down everything about moving because I had said I was considering moving after I was licensed. At one point when Lynn started lecturing me again about taking care of myself and how important that is in our field I started smiling and she was like what are you smiling about and I was like it’s just funny to me because you and Peggy have such opposite approach is and she was like what do you mean and I was like she’s just so nice and compassionate and I was like and it’s not that you’re not nice but you’re just a lot more harsh and she was like well is this a good fit for you and I was like obviously I like you and she was like well but it’s a good therapeutic conversation to have because is this a good fit for what you are needing and I was like I mean I think it honestly just depends on the issue because there are sometimes when that is really helpful like the fact that you were the first therapist to ever even tell me that my mom was never going to change And that I basically need to work on getting over that but want to comes to food related stuff I think that idea better from a more compassionate approach because when it comes to more of like fear tactics I think I just get anxious and defensive and then I’m not really hearing what you’re saying even though you aren’t wrong but I’m not really even listening anymore because I’m just defensive and frustrated and don’t want to ever talk about it with you again basically and she was like well it’s my job to bring it up again and I was like yeah but it just makes me not want to really discuss what’s going on and not that I would lie to you but I think I would just not really say anything about it. She had me fill out a release of information for the dietitian and she asked about If the perfectionism was gone how would that affect how I eat what I be able to eat anything whenever I wanted and I was like honestly I’m not really sure because it’s not so much like this self deprecating thing for me to not eat as much as it is that at this point in life I just get so much anxiety about right and wrong which is been heavily influenced by my parents and ultimately I would rather eat nothing then eat something that’s “bad “God for bid I have GMO’s and then I’m worried that I’m going to get Glyphostate related issues and pass on autism to my child and so it’s a lot of anxiety about right and wrong and rigidity which she seem to think was still a form of perfectionism which is fine. I realize I was rambling one point because she was asking about where I feel stuck and envisioning my life without self deprecation and what not and I was just going on anon about 1 million different tangents and I was like I’m sorry I know that I’m rambling at this point I don’t even know if I’m making sense and she was like yeah you are. She asked about what it would take for me to really believe that I matter and I was like honestly I’m not sure but like it really feels like and maybe this is super irrational but if my mom were to call and just tell me that I mattered if feels like it would fix everything because it’s like I look back at all of those memories and it’s like how do you just leave your kid to have panic attacks by themselves and how do you let your kid knowingly go to bed starving and under weight and how do you let your kid beg the other kids at the lunch table for their leftovers because they’re being starved at home like if your kid matters to you then why wouldn’t you at least say sorry for those things are acknowledge that it wasn’t right and that they do you matter or something and when was like I agree and she brought up how if I was my childhood therapist that we would’ve called DCS and they would’ve had to make changes whether it be bringing me in for therapy your family therapy we’re having to let me eat normal foods and she said she calls but I went through abuse because they were starving me and I just didn’t really say anything and she pointed out how different my life would be if I actually liked myself and how I need to have fun and I told you that I bought tap shoes which my husband isn’t thrilled about and I said I’m just really bad at having fun and she was like well you’re learning. She also asked about my blogging again and I was like what the heck so I literally took out tumblr and was like look I will show you so I showed her the dashboard and then I showed her my own page and was like you can re-blog things that stick with you or you can write your own stuff and she basically had been thinking that I was writing after my sessions all the negative things that I felt about myself and I was like Lynn this literally isn’t a blogger I just write about how fucked up i am and how much I hate myself. I was like I just write about how our sessions go and insights that I have and I might mention some of the struggles i’m having because it’s helpful to look back and see the progress that I have made in the areas that used to be hard but aren’t anymore and it’s just nice to be able to look back and see the progress that is me because otherwise it’s so easy to forget and I was like it’s not like I’m literally looking back on them all the time because after it’s done on the car ride home I don’t look back at it and it’s not just a bitch fest about myself being a terrible person and she brought up that we are from a generation difference and how she just doesn’t know how these things work and she sees a lot of danger journaling is a lot of times people just go on and on about their negative thoughts about them self and I was like it’s honestly not like that but during the week I might notice something upsetting or something might come up and I usually blog a few sentences about it and then before our session I scroll through and see what I had written to see if there was anything important that I needed to talk about or process for when you ask how my week was and I was like Lynn your name isn’t even mentioned in the blog and neither is mine and neither is our location and she was like no I’m not worried about that it’s just new to me because I didn’t know how all this works and I was like that’s fine and she was like OK but I feel a lot better knowing that you aren’t just blogging all of these terrible things about yourself all the time and I was like you know it’s not that at all. It’s honestly hard to recall these sessions when they’re like this because everything is scattered and all over the place and there isn’t a specific thing that we are addressing but it is what it is the session was fine. Nothing particularly great or bad. Also when she was having me fill out the release of information it was funny because she wrote down requested by client and I laughed and was like requested by client I see and she was like I mean I can change it and I was like it’s fine I just think it’s funny because I didn’t request it but I was like honestly I’m still laughing about that hippa vio from last week and she was like what are you talking about and I was like remember when you double booked your clients and then you told the girl in the waiting room where I had driven from and she laughed and was like whatever it worked and then we actually did have some conversation around Violations and how her friend apparently works for auditing and prosecution with all of that and I case they were working on was where a therapist apparently maliciously told the hospital about her client having an abortion because she was mad at her and it’s usually more of those things along the lines of malicious intent which I think makes sense and I was like I mean honestly there are some that are going to be impossible to prevent and she was like yeah and I was like I mean anytime that I’m with somebody in public and I see a client I’m essentially giving away how they know me because with my husband he knows everybody that I know so it’s like if I’m not explaining why I know them then he obviously knows that they are clients. I also asked her at the end about being audited and she said that she had been audited by insurance and that they don’t ask for your like written part about the sessions and that since it’s just like the standard note or whatever it’s pretty easy and it’s pretty subjective so there is an a lot of things they can say you owe money for. I said that made sense and she said how she thinks the actual written part in the note can only be accessed if a judge is subpoenaing it which I’m pretty certain it’s accurate. Also we talked a little bit about how I feel like I don’t matter and how that influences everything that I do because I don’t matter then I don’t matter enough to take care of which includes is why I worked myself to death and wine not always nursing myself and caring about doing things that I want to be doing because I simply just don’t really matter and I told her about how Peggy had asked about my goals last time and how she pointed out that my motivation for covering not a single one of them had anything to do with me and I was like I can recover from my husband or my job or my dog but the thought of doing anything for me just feels a relevant because it feels like I don’t matter.

[endorsereviews]

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3 I don’t talk “out my ass” by giving poorly researched opinions. If I don’t know something I simply say “I don’t know.”

If I’m profitable in an area of media buying or business but not best in class I don’t feel I am qualified to charge for my advice.

I will only discuss ideas or theories where I have already spent strong money and have firsthand high-level experience. DON’T FUCK THIS UP HERE PAY ATTENTION THIS EVENT WONT HAPPEN AGAIN

NOT EVERYONE WILL BE ALLOWED TO ATTEND GAIN ACCESS HERE ARE SOME REAL DOWNSIDES IF YOU DON’T GO OR AREN’T ACCEPTED You will feel left out. There will constant posting and follow up videos not to mention people who are talking about new ideas and methods to make money you missed out on. You will miss out on ways to make more money then you are now and will likely regret you didn’t go and maybe even hold some blame to whoever or whatever caused you to miss it. Other People (your competitors) are getting an edge on you and in online advertising the edge is everything You will feel like you missed out on being a part of a group of 20 people just like you who understand your frustrations and goals. You won’t be part of the skype chats and meetups this new tribe will have after the event as everyone tries and tests and finds winners. P.S

Let’s make it 3 simple ways you will feel after the event Relaxed because you chilled for 2 days in luxury learning with one of top marketers today whose dedicating his time to only 20 people for 2 days Pleased that you’re Learning the info that has been escaping you because you haven’t had the access to inside Info that will shared there Thankful you can ask any DAMN question you want (finally!) So Don’t wait or procrastinate because KNOW THIS – It will sell out very soon and won’t be done again GAIN ACCESS

Purple Knowledge Lab – Don’t F*ck This Up posted first on premiumwarezstore.blogspot.com

[sublimedeal]

Purple Knowledge Lab – Don’t F*ck This Up

GEEK OUT TOUR DONT F*CK THIS UP Don’t even think of spending another dollar on Facebook until you learn how to go from guessing to knowing by accessing the “inner Circle” Info of how to get the big money GAIN ACCESS

FACEBOOK AND INSTAGRAM Lead Gen to Ecom at the highest levels

AD COPY Persuasion Copy for ads, advertorials and “video advertorials”

NATIVES Long Term / Stable Profit Center Necessity for Media Buyers

INFLUENCERS Using the Power of celebrity for Huge ROI THERE’S NOTHING WORSE THAN GRINDING ON YOUR FB CAMPAIGNS ALL DAY AND FEELING LIKE YOU’RE JUST MISSING SOMETHING. All day your campaigns haven’t worked and you don’t know if it is audience overlap, a pixel thing or maybe just Facebook is being Facebook. You end your night reading through all your Facebook groups and Skype chats and you keep reading the SAME two things. 1. They know something you don’t 2. They are making lots of money Bottom line is – Lots of answers out there but not one stable idea or method

As you go to sleep you’re making a plan for tomorrow but realize you have no idea what you should do. Keep Adsets? Kill Adsets? You go to sleep confused.

You Wake up and feel good. Cup of coffee in hand you sit down and go to check how the stats are performing, you’re feeling real hopeful things optimized down while you were asleep.

You login and BOOM…a red box from Facebook that you were suspicious or violated something…

GAIN ACCESS THE GEEKOUT EVENT WAS DESIGNED IN THE WAY I WANT TO LEARN. NO BS, NO FLUFF, JUST LEARNING BUILT FOR LEARNERS AND EARNERS. MY PLAN IS SIMPLE.. Put 4 really smart “top of the food chain” thought leaders in a mansion for 2 days and just let them talk about the techniques and nuggets they use to “make the magic” a.k.a. make lots of money. 


1 The experts will just “go deep” on their passion and areas of expertise 2 They will GeekOut on what they Love and share all the hidden tips and tricks things you can use TODAY 3 They need to Back it up with screenshots and data 

Most importantly 4 They ANSWER any DAMN question you have

This is where the hacks, loopholes and tactics get turned in to knowledge Bombs. 

We want to put you in this room with the experts and the “game changing” methods they have. We want you to sit on in a room of 20 people and give you instant personal access to speakers and network with other people like you. 


Or ….

You can learn from home on your computer watching it all unfold on a live stream. Let’s do this! Come learn with us. Let’s get smarter together. MEET YOUR SPEAKERS

VAN ELSWYK JAMES Spends 1M per month on Lead Gen MEDIA BUYING EXPERT AND CEO/FOUNDER OF PURPLE LEADS

James Van Elswyk has had a crazy journey from a one-man affiliate to now overseeing 30 full-time employees. He started by following his instinct and moved to Israel to be closer to a Facebook office. He then trained a team of media buyers that spend up to a million a month on Facebook and natives per year.

With a background in teaching sales people, as well as his own team, he started to share how he has built his team, how he optimizes and how he scales campaigns.

Seeing a hole in the market for relevant, actionable education he decided to create “learning by a learner” where it’s no fluff.

Just “copy and paste” techniques and the reasons they make him money.

JAKE 100M Instagram Followers FOUNDER OF FIGETLY

After he saw how cheap and effective the traffic was with influencer marketing, Jake made a huge leap, going “all in” on building both is own brands and helping other brands build a following.

He decided to move away from building “themed pages” towards helping personal brands grow their following. This led Jake to grow @cleverinvestors Instagram to 1 million followers in just under a year while driving revenue the entire time.

After spending time in the info space, Jake felt the bug to push products and after building a network of close to 100 million followers he was able to leverage that whenever a brand had need of it.

He’s become an expert at building themed influencers, micro-influencers and viral algorithm tricks. He was so successful that he made fidget spinners go viral and built the most well-known fidget spinner brand at 0-270k in just two months!

Leveraging the brand he built, Jake played a key role in getting Fidgetly’s big break into big-box retailers such as Best Buy, Target and Brook Stone.

As of today, he’s running million-dollar campaigns for up-and-coming brands through A-list and B-list celebrities.

SANDLIN RONNIE XX Million Spent on his words MASTER COPYWRITER

Ronnie Sandlin is a master copywriter who has built multiple 7-figure online businesses leveraging his high-level persuasion strategies.

His approach is to take advantage of evolutionary biology and create copy that makes his offers psychologically irresistible.

He’s taught countless people his effective and ethical strategies to creating copy that converts and creates sustainable windfall profits.

MR. X You will be shocked Mr. X began his career as a millennial consultant for PepsiCo Restaurants focused on filling their stores with younger families. He then began media buying on behalf of Apple’s team in Los Angeles and was a part of launching both the iPhone 7 and iPad Pro.

He co-founded and accelerated www.fidgetly.com (largely due to the trend and was the first to launch that initiative back in 2017) and then parlayed that into working with a big time DR team under Tim Burd and he now sits in a nice middle area between a great content/DR shop and a pure performance media buying team he’s been building.

His expertise is in ecommerce, mainly consumer goods, but is currently leaning towards consumables as he has seen firsthand how that plays a huge role in raising LTV. He is also working with 7 figure dropshipping brands as well as established brands like Pupsocks, 5.11 Tactical, Qalo, diffeyewear and many more. SETTING AND VIBE

April 21-22

USA, Las Vegas Book now April 14-15

USA, San Diego Book now The events will be in San Diego And Las Vegas and will be hosted in SICK Locations, where food and cocktails will flow freely throughout so we can just dig in and learn. GAIN ACCESS The emphasis here is on “luxury learning” Get super comfortable, cut off all distractions, make sure food and drink is covered and just learn untill we can’t any more.

Just bang away morning untill night. Open discussions on the events topics as well as talking about ANYHTING that’s relevant to media buying, making money online or whatever he has quality info on. SAN DIEGO – 4.14 & 4.15 – SOLD OUT

LAS VEGAS – 4.21 & 4.22 – SOLD OUT

UNLIMITED REPLAYS – AVAILABLE UNTIL SUNDAY STANDARD 2 DAY PASS VIP

$4399 48 hours packed with learning and discussion

Luxurious “worry about nothing” settings and attentive wait staff

Dinner and drinks throughout the day

Copies of all slides and spreadsheets

Free copy of highlight reel of the tour

Free copy of “testing mythology video” SOLD OUT

PLUS 2 DAY PASS PREMIUM

$7299 Stay-In Speaker Location – (full baller)

Full “best in class” accommodation

72 hours of luxurious “worry about nothing” settings and attentive wait staff

Meet and Greet Pre-Geekout dinner with Speakers

Breakfast Lunch Dinner Plus on demand Food and Cocktails

Full Bar for afterhours “Nugget Slip Sessions”

Final Q&A Breakfast and send off

Free Copy of highlight reel

Free Copy of testing protocols SOLD OUT

UNLIMITED REPLAYS

$899 Online access to the training

48 hours packed with learning

Copies of all slides and spreadsheets

Free copy of highlight reel

Free copy of testing protocols *Live stream of San Diego is sold out BUY NOW 100%, NO QUESTIONS ASKED, TAKE-IT-TO-THE-BANK “I’M NO GURU GUARANTEE” If you try the techniques, or use the networking you learn and it’s doesn’t pay for the event or live stream

WE DON’T WANT YOUR DAMN MONEY GAIN ACCESS There are 3 reasons I Am ok with such a crazy return policy

1 I have an ethics and pride, a good product, and I’m already make money doing as opposed to teaching. I’d rather refund someone then feel I did someone wrong or have some have a bad opinion of me.

2 I know my shit. I teach my employees to make me money using these techniques and methods. So, I know it works and I know how to teach it.

3 I don’t talk “out my ass” by giving poorly researched opinions. If I don’t know something I simply say “I don’t know.”

If I’m profitable in an area of media buying or business but not best in class I don’t feel I am qualified to charge for my advice.

I will only discuss ideas or theories where I have already spent strong money and have firsthand high-level experience. DON’T FUCK THIS UP HERE PAY ATTENTION THIS EVENT WONT HAPPEN AGAIN

NOT EVERYONE WILL BE ALLOWED TO ATTEND GAIN ACCESS HERE ARE SOME REAL DOWNSIDES IF YOU DON’T GO OR AREN’T ACCEPTED You will feel left out. There will constant posting and follow up videos not to mention people who are talking about new ideas and methods to make money you missed out on. You will miss out on ways to make more money then you are now and will likely regret you didn’t go and maybe even hold some blame to whoever or whatever caused you to miss it. Other People (your competitors) are getting an edge on you and in online advertising the edge is everything You will feel like you missed out on being a part of a group of 20 people just like you who understand your frustrations and goals. You won’t be part of the skype chats and meetups this new tribe will have after the event as everyone tries and tests and finds winners. P.S

Let’s make it 3 simple ways you will feel after the event Relaxed because you chilled for 2 days in luxury learning with one of top marketers today whose dedicating his time to only 20 people for 2 days Pleased that you’re Learning the info that has been escaping you because you haven’t had the access to inside Info that will shared there Thankful you can ask any DAMN question you want (finally!) So Don’t wait or procrastinate because KNOW THIS – It will sell out very soon and won’t be done again GAIN ACCESS

Purple Knowledge Lab – Don’t F*ck This Up published first on https://premiumwarezstore.tumblr.com/