#and also a little oneshot conversation of what if they ended up in lost and found department

[the-ipre]

I have some dead boy detectives fics on the stove come talk to me about themmmm

[shirefantasies]

Hi!

Once you feel up to it, could you please write a oneshot of Fílí meeting a hobbit girl on his way to the Bag End and falling helplessly in love with her?

I have always imagined that Fílí and Kílí had arrived to Hobbiton a whole day early and spent it walking around - that, given how lost their uncle always was, Dís had sent them on the road earlier than necessary to ensure that they arrived in time.

So when they arrive to Hobbiton, the brothers are left to explore the market - and that’s when the coup de foudre happens - Fílí sees a hobbit (with strawberry blonde hair, please, if you don’t want to do reader-insert) selling all kinds of flour and has very short conversation with her. To his utter disappointment and annoyance, Kílí is responsible enough to talk him out of buying the huge bag of flour.

And, to be honest, that’s the reason behind Kílí’s grin and Fílí’s smirk we see when Bilbo opens the door.

Thank you soo much!

Please, take your time and care!

🪻🌸🪻🌸🪻

‘Cuz’ of Death- Fili x F!Hobbit!Reader

This is so long in the making 😅 but yay, brain finally brained! Enjoy some Fili fluff 🥰

Warnings: one suggestive comment

Hobbiton’s rolling hills are green as ever as you struggle to pull the wheelbarrow along the path to the market. Your wares are your charge, of course, but that does not stop you in the slightest from wishing you had someone to share in your burdens. And your victories. Not that some great many victories are won in the illustrious world of flour salesmanship, but the thought still stood.

Thoughts. Such are yours for the remaining duration of the trip, flitting about your mind in fancy until you enter the bustle of tents being raised and tables being lain with all manner of honeys, meats, fishers' catches, freshly baked bread, and so many more colorful and tantalizing offerings of your great land. A smile fills your face at the sight. For some, they are overwhelming. For you? Your livelihood. Livelihood and the secret charm of possibility that you might meet someone you do not know, someone from some far reaches of the Shire. Or beyond.

Snorting at that particular notion, you heft bags of flour onto the table your neighbor was kind enough to set up for you, sorting them once all of them are up there for a moment of muscle rest. You hang your sign, a wooden piece carved for you by your father, and take up your helm of sale.

~

Sunlight has fallen such that it casts into your eyes; cursing your short form, you shade yourself with an arm as two shapes enter your line of vision. Tall shapes. Men? Dwarves? Dwarves, judging by their garb, which appears to be that of mountain folk. Heavy tunics, fur linings, heavy boots and beaded braids. They also are not so towering as the men you’d met on a trip to Bree once.

The blonde one's eyes slide between your wares and you, alternating until you break into a smile.

"Could I interest you in any of these fine flours, sirs?"

"Sirs," the black-haired one snickers, though completely without malice, only humor.

"What's this one?" Pushing his neighbor aside, Blonde points at a medium-sized sack.

“Buckwheat flour,” you answer with a smile, “Good way to make your cookies tender if you don’t use too much. That is, if you make cookies much. I’m not sure what you like.”

“I have been wanting to get into baking.”

“What are you doing?” Black Hair hisses, a whisper just loud enough for you to hear. “We’ve got the party!”

“Yes,” Blonde agrees jovially, glancing back to you, “It is prudent to bring a gift, isn’t it? What about a nice bag of-”

“We’ve got a while yet! I’m not carrying that around for an hour! Are you?”

“Well-”

“Come on, Brother.”

“Brother?” You burst out before you could stop yourself. The pair doesn't look so much alike- perhaps they each look like one parent.

“Oh, my apologies, madam,” Blonde whips around and gives a bow, spinning his hand as he folds, “Fili, at your service, alongside my little brother here.”

Giving your name, you accept Fili’s proffered hand and giggle as he presses a kiss to the back of yours.

"Kili," the little brother pushes in, offering his hand, too, "And we were just leaving."

"What about the buckwheat?" Fili turns from Kili back to you, leaning on your table. "I'm quite interested in the...tender cookies? What on earth does that mean? Does that make them firmer or less firm? Or more...chewy?"

"You don't bake." Kili again, this time with less urgency and a great deal more amusement.

Fili must have made some disastrous attempts, you think, unable to stop the amusement that begins creeping across your lips. You picture him hunched with a look of dramatized defeat over a pan of crumbled, blackened cookies with smoke spiraling off them.

"I could learn," the elder retorts in a surprisingly determined tone.

Something about it moves your heart, loosens it further, speeds it even. These dwarves are nothing like you expected- not in appearance, manner, or of course location there at your table traveling some humble Shire market.

"I could teach you," you tell him, running a hand through your hair.

"I'd like that," he replies, "We aren't here much longer, but this place is very beautiful. I think we'll be back."

Kili looks between you two, jiggling his eyebrows up and down as Fili suddenly kneels to the ground, rising again with a little pink flower pinched gingerly between his thumb and index finger.

"At least I will be for those baking lessons. Speaking of which..." He chuckles to himself. "A flower for a flour?"

After you accept the flower, Fili reaches for your sack of buckwheat flower yet again, only for Kili to knock his hand away, initiating a comical skirmish of slaps that finally cements in your eyes that these two are undoubtedly brothers. Your gaze bounces between each volley as you twirl your baby bloom, heart leaping at the feeling of it, at the imprint of Fili's mischievous smile and gleaming blue eyes upon the back of your brain.

"Ignore him," Kili finally says, breaking you from your flower-induced, pollen-dusted golden reverie, "He's looking for an entirely different set of goodies."

The confusion you feel at that last comment as you watch the younger dwarf physically drag his brother away from your flour assortment lasts all the way through the rest of the market, all your actual purchases, and even up to your trip to your cousin's house to deliver a loaf of bread your mother had made him.

The hearth is warm and the kitchen scented of the herbs he's preparing for supper and calming tea. He welcomes your steaming parcel of sourdough with open arms and puts a second fish and helping of vegetables on to roast while you chat about your day. Your unusual day.

A tale of your dwarf-filled day...interrupted by a dwarf. This one exactly what you've always pictured, even taller than the brothers and more imposing, complete with a long beard, tattoos, and an intimidating stare. He is quite blunt about the fact that he isn't familiar with you or Bilbo, but gracious as your cousin is he shoots you a look of sympathy and quickly slides you his other helping. His look quickly melts into frustration the more the dwarf goes on and takes from him and rearranges, sharing with you an exasperated glare that has you giggling.

"Dwarves," he shakes his head before opening the door to another, older one, "What is it with today and dwarves?"

"I don't know," you reply quietly, reaching up to gently caress Fili's flower, which you have tucked behind your ear.

The second dwarf, Balin, is surprised to see you there, but then, so are you to see him. He chuckles at that and asks you for direction, which you shyly give; when he asks about chairs, you lead him around the corner into Bag End's larger dining room, where the long table rests under a chandelier's cozy yellow light. Bilbo follows soon behind, peering skeptically at your little congregation with furrowed brows and muttered questions. The sound of the bell ringing yet again, however, distracts you from the hearty laughter of this new set of dwarf brothers. Tapping across Bag End's hardwood floor, you cross your cousin's home once more, slowly opening the great round door. Voices sound behind it, voices that increase in volume as Bag End opens wider to welcome them.

"I can't stop thinking about her. I tell you, Kee, she's going to be the death of me-"

"Ah!"

Perking up with a wide smile that quickly melts into more of a smirk and gets directed at his brother, there stands Kili before you.

“Well now, brother, look who it is!” Kili exclaims your name, still looking right at his elder sibling as he sticks a hand out your way. “Can you believe our good fortune?”

“No,” Fili answers with a smile, blue eyes never falling upon his brother from their gaze into yours, “I cannot.”

His eyes trace over from yours, catch sight of his flower still tucked up by your tresses, and he stumbles into your cousin’s home with parted, wordless lips. He stands so close to you you’d collide with a single step from either of you, finally darting his eyes away and surveying the warm light of Bag End.

“So this is the fabled hobbits’ home?”

“It is,” you agree.

“I love it,” he breathes, a glow of awe coloring his expression, “It suits you just like that flower. It’s cozy. Sweet. I can definitely foresee myself upon many a return visit here.”

“So are you Mister Boggins’s wife?” Kili interrupts, tone bordering on urgent.

“No,” you shake your head, “He’s my cousin. I’ve come to deliver him a loaf of bread, but what of travelers like yourselves? Why have you come to a party Bilbo was not even aware of hosting?”

Inching a wee bit closer, just a tad, Fili extends his hand just like before. Just like before you take it. Instead of pressing a kiss to it, though, this time he holds it fast, his grip strong and warm and sure. The hearth’s warmth feels much closer despite you standing at a door open to the night on the end farthest from it you could be.

“Could I interest you,” Fili asks, leaning so close as to almost whisper in your ear, “In an adventure?”

Taglist: @lokilover476 @fuckyoumakeart @kilibaggins @filiswingman @ibabblealot @stormchaser819 @pirate-lord-of-narnia @datglutengoblin @letmelickyoureyeballs @mossyskinn @wordbunch @tiny-and-witchy @th3-st4r-gur1 @fleurdemiel-145 @mistresskayla-blog1 @misabelle717 @h0n3y-l3m0n05 @evattude @kpopgirlbtssvt @rivendell-poet | Reply/Message/Ask to join 🖤

[reiding-writing]

not the same anon but “sit down” “i’m sat” angsty spencer sounds like an amazing idea my god, like i dunno post-prison spencer just feels so, not the same? 😭 i know a lot people see the sex-appeal but i also really like seeing the broken side of spence after s12

CHANGE [ONESHOT]

Spencer changed after he was released from prison, and an unintentional late-night scare from you leads to a conversation that neither of you ever thought you would have.

WARNINGS: mentions of spencer’s addiction, mentions of maeve’s death, mentions of spencer’s prison treatment, harsh arguments, emotional breakdowns, optimistic ending

post-prison!reid x gn!reader || angst || 4.2k || masterlist!!

a/n: you understand me. everyone is so focused on spencer being sexy post prison i feel like the emotional side of what he went through is completely forgotten-

Spencer had changed a lot after his incarceration.

None of the team were really surprised. They might not have known the details but they knew he didn’t have a good experience; That the ripple effects of what happened would change his personality.

You could still see the flickers of the man you’d met those twelve years ago in his demeanour.

But sometimes even the most minor of things would remind you just how different he actually was.

Spencer’s elbow almost catches you right between your eyes as he turns around sharply, and if it wasn’t for you reflexively pulling your head backwards you’re sure you would’ve fallen over with a red mark planted on your forehead.

“Woah-” Your hands join your reflexes as they instinctively come up to protect your skull from the bone of his elbow, and you take a few steps backwards from him as they fall back to your sides. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you,”

You’d done nothing more than walk up behind him to read what he had been jotting down on the large whiteboard at the edge of the room, but Spencer’s seemingly unconscious response told you that he didn’t see it the same way, and you could see the flicker of apprehension in his eyes as his arm gradually dropped back down to rest against his thigh.

“No, it’s okay, i’m sorry for over reacting,” Spencer offered you an awkward half-smile before turning back to the white board, and you have to consciously suppress a sigh at his demeanour.

You knew he’d been through a lot. Of course he had.

But that didn’t stop you from mourning the sweet innocent Spencer you’d met when he was just barely 23 and innocently oblivious about what the next decade would put him through.

You find yourself gazing at the back of his head for a little too long, and Spencer again turns around to look at you, his sweet socially-awkward roots deftly hidden under a mask of feigned strength and confidence.

“Are you okay? Did you need something?” Spencer’s voice cuts you from your internal analysis of his change in wellbeing, and you physically shake the thoughts from your mind as you reply to him.

“Yeah- Yeah, sorry i’m fine, just got lost in thought is all,” You gesture your words with your hands like it’ll distract from your lingering gaze. “I was just uh- coming to see your progress is all, it’s getting pretty late and the rest of the team have already left for the hotel,”

“Ah, well.” he gestures vaguely, to the board behind him, as if he wasn’t sure he actually wanted you to see it. “Yeah i’ve made.. progress.”

You look at the board behind him. It’s nowhere near as filled out as much as it should be.

"I think we’re all struggling with this one," You try to offer him a soft reassurance along with a gentle hand on his shoulder, but the minute you lift your hand Spencer jerks away again from the touch, causing him to lose his footing and nearly fall to the floor.

"I- i’m sorry I didn’t-" You instinctively move to try and help Spencer not fall over, but catch yourself as you figure that physically reaching out towards him is doing much more harm than good, and you take a few steps back from him with your hands clasped behind your back.

He looks away, and you can’t help the pity you feel. The man in front of you is not the same man Spencer was even a year ago. He might have physically recovered from his time in that hellhole, but mentally he would take years to recover.

You can still see the shame in his eyes as he tries to brush himself off and regain the composure he can’t seem to keep when he’s around you.

He turns his attention back to the board, trying desperately to make up for the lack of progress he’s made.

He’s usually good at hiding his emotions and feelings when he’s working, but even with a mask on you can tell that he’s not well.

"I’ll- leave you be now-" You forced out the words through pursed lips as you begin to retreat slowly towards the door, eyes locked on Spencer’s expression and how it changes at your words. "Sorry-"

“No- No it’s okay-“ Reid shakes his head and looks up at you again, forcing himself to meet your eyes, to force away the shame that floods his body whenever you get near him. “Please stay-“

"I don’t want to make you uncomfortable Spencer I can-" You gesture towards the door awkwardly with your hand.

“You’re not- It’s fine- Just stay.”

Reid forces out the words, and this time you can tell from his expression that this is a genuine demand.

He looks away from you again, his hand clenching and unclenching around the pen as he glares at his writing on the board.

"You’re sure? i know you don’t like people watching you whilst you work and-"

“Just sit down.” Reid bites out the words before he can catch himself, his emotions briefly winning out over his rationale.

He immediately calms down though, and forces out an apology. “It- I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell- Just- please sit down,”

"It’s okay, i’m sat-" You’re not entirely surprised by Spencer’s proclivity to snap at the start of a disagreement due to the protective nature he was still harbouring from his time in prison, but it truly cements the fact that he’s not the Spencer that you’d met all those years ago.

The Spencer you knew twelve years ago was timid and scared. The Spencer in front of you right now is angry and frustrated, his patience thin and his nerves frayed.

But you can still see the man you once knew in there- a flicker of a smile, a soft sigh, a gentle gesture. It’s just buried beneath all the trauma, the pain, the anger.

"Are you- okay?" You take a seat on top of the small conference table, resting your feet on one of the chairs.

He sighs, and you see his hands grip around the end of the pen tight enough that you can see the skin under his fingernails turn pale.

Without speaking, he gestures to the board, to the mostly unfinished profile that he should’ve been at least halfway through by now. Then he looks back at you and shakes his head with a look of defeat written across his face.

"In general Spencer,"

You shake your head softly at his gesture. You didn’t want to know if he was okay with the profile progress, you wanted to know if he was okay.

He doesn’t respond at first, not knowing how to.

He takes a deep breath and looks away from you, his eyes closing and his lip curling in thought.

He wants to say ‘I’m okay’, he really does, but he’s not.

He’s not okay and he doesn’t know how to get back there again.

“I’m trying to be.” he finally says, his words coming out strained.

You don’t reply to his statement to anything more than a small nod.

Logically you knew it. The whole team did. But hearing Spencer inadvertently tell you that he wasn’t alright from his own mouth made it feel much more real.

“Does- Does it bother you that i’m.. broken? That i’m not the same?” He’s trying his hardest to get back to normal, and to a lot of extent he is. But there are some behaviours that just won’t go away.

He’s more jumpy, and more skittish than he used to be; His reaction to being touched is more aggressive, and he snaps more easily than he ever used to. “Do you resent me for it?”

"Of course I don’t-" Your denial is immediate, a shake of your head joining your answer. "Everyone changes Spencer, it’s a natural reaction to the things that happens to us,"

“But- But i’m not who I used to be.” He knows he’s repeating himself, but he can’t help but dwell on that point just a little bit.

Spencer had lost such an immense part of himself, and he knows it. He stares at you for a moment, waiting for some form of reassurance he knows you can’t give.

"You’re still you Spencer, that’ll never change,"

“I’m not the sweet innocent boy I was back then.” He speaks again without thinking of filtering himself, his eyes falling down to the ground in frustration as he struggles to keep his emotions in check.

His voice wavers briefly as he adds on a low tone,

“You liked me better before.”

"That’s not true,” You shut down his statement immediately.

“It is,” Spencer is certain of it, and the way you’ve reacted to his trauma speaks volumes.

His eyes look at you defiantly, his voice low as he continues. “You miss the nice naïve Spencer, the one who got flustered and stuttered when you looked at him too long, the one who was shy enough to barely speak to anyone new.”

"Spencer-”

“He’s dead. That Spencer died in that farm shed ten years ago.” Spencer’s voice is hard as marble, and his words come out sharp enough to cut through glass.

Spencer was no longer sweet or shy or awkward or innocent.

He was an emotional wreck.

Any minute he could snap, and his words are laced with a pain that you know is too agonising for him to express any other way.

"I- know that, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t care, that the whole team doesn’t care, because we do. We care about you Spencer. I care about you."

“But you do miss him.” Spencer’s voice is low again as he meets your eyes with the pain of a thousand regrets and hurt behind them.

He can tell you do miss that version of him. He can see it in the way that you look at him when you don’t realise he can see you, that look you get whenever you see him in anything but a work context.

You miss the old him. The younger and nicer and less damaged version of himself.

"I miss all of you." You purse your gaze as your eyes travel across his face, a soft sigh falling from your lips. "I just want to be able to talk to you properly again,"

“That’s not going to happen,” Spencer’s voice is just as blunt as before, and he can’t seem to soften it for anything. “You want the sweet, sensitive Spencer back, but he’s not coming back.”

"I don’t want any ‘specific’ side of you, I just want… something, anything-" You can feel your emotions threatening to ruin your words as you speak to him, the details of his face blurring as your eyes begin to glass over.

Spencer just stares at you, his words catching in his throat as he struggles to come up with something to say.

His eyes stay fixated on your face, on the tears that threaten to form, and your inability to keep them at bay.

His heart beats so quickly as he wants to say something, to reach out and comfort you.

He wants to hug you.

He wants to say he was wrong.

He wants to say he doesn’t mean any of it.

He wants to tell you that the two of you can go back to having meaningless conversations that could last for hours without getting boring or awkward.

But every time he tries it he backs out, unable to admit to the vulnerability.

"I’m sorry," You take a few steps away from him towards the door of the room, knowing that you won’t be able to have a composed conversation with him if you were to continue talking.

“Wait-” Reid’s voice is loud as he grabs your arm and stops you from leaving.

He realises almost as soon as his fingers brush your skin that he’s being more aggressive again, and he doesn’t want to repeat that behaviour even if that is who he’s conditioned himself to be.

Spencer meets your eyes for a split second before looking back at the table- the flicker of vulnerability disappeared from his eyes, replaced with shame. “Where are you going-“

You can feel his hand consciously loosen its grasp on your wrist, following the sudden soften of his tone, and you gently try to pry his hand from you completely to take another step back from him to regain the distance between you. "I don’t think you know what you want right now Spencer, you need some time to think by yourself…"

“Just- Please listen for a second-“ He doesn’t want you to leave, and the mere thought of you doing exactly that makes him feel as if his heart is being ripped to shreds.

“I was wrong, okay, I was angry and I snapped and I was wrong.” Spencer is trying his hardest to keep himself composed, to control the anger and regret that’s starting to bubble. “Please stay.”

"You were right in some aspects Spencer,” It was very clear by now that you were both emotionally overwhelmed, you so much to the point where you could barely see through the blur of tears that threatened to spill from your eyes. “The past you is gone, and with it goes what we used to have, and as- upsetting… as it is to accept that fact, that’s just how it is,"

Spencer’s grip tightens again as you speak, his teeth gritting together.

He’s trying not to scream, trying not to hold onto your wrist so hard that it bruises and snap at you again.

You are refusing to look back up at him, refusing to look him in the eyes.

His entire world is crashing down on top of him in the form of the one person he still has and it’s ruining any mental resolve he has left. “Please- Please look at me,”

Your eyes hesitantly tilt up towards his face, joined by a flow of tears that slide over the skin of your cheeks and pool under your chin as they breach your eyelids. "I can’t bare to watch you hurt anymore,"

“So you’re just giving up on me?” The moment you make eye-contact, Spencer feels something shift in his heart. The emotions inside him feel almost physical, and each one is more painful than the last.

He can feel his temper rising, and he finds himself clenching his free fist tightly and squeezing out a sharp breath before he starts to speak again. “I thought- I thought you cared about me.”

"I love you Spencer Reid. I love you so god damn much and I can’t keep pretending that seeing you like this doesn’t break my heart-"

You are way past any semblance of composure by now, tears pouring down your cheeks and your voice trembling with every word you speak.

The moment you say those words, Spencer starts to feel something he thought he killed.

An immense feeling of guilt, grief, and regret washes over him at the utterance of those three words.

You do love him, even with all of his flaws that he's currently trying to repress. But at the cost of his own sanity and well-being.

Spencer stares at you desperately, wanting to be close to you. His entire body aches at the thought of you leaving.

“I loved you ten years ago when you were recovering from your addiction. I loved you four years ago when you were infatuated with someone you’d never met and cried on my shoulder for weeks after she died. I loved you whilst you were imprisoned and I still love you now.”

You shake your head at Spencer as you pull your wrist from his grasp. “But I can’t do this anymore…”

Reid's hands grasp for your wrists, desperation and regret radiating off of his body at the loss of your contact mixing with the finality of your words.

“Please- please don’t leave. I can- I can change, I promise I can-“ He wants to cry in your arms like he’d done so many times in the past and have you tell him everything is going to be okay like you always do.

But he doesn’t.

He just stares at you, silently hoping that you’ll change your mind and that he wouldn’t have to face the world alone again.

"I don’t want you to change Spencer.." You wipe the tears from your eyes with the back of your hand. You didn’t want both of you to lose your composure. One of you had to stay strong. "I just want you to be alright.."

"I can be alright, just don't-" He wants to say more, so much more. It's like every word he's ever spoken is pouring out of his lips and hitting him straight in the face.

Spencer wants to beg.

He wants to cry.

He wants to tell you exactly how much he hates everything right now and that his entire body aches for you.

"don't- don't go...."

Your body silently pleads you to just take him in your arms and hug him until all of his problems disappear, but you know that if you do it’ll break you until you’re unrecognisable.

You just stand there with your back to him and your hand on the doorknob to leave, tears threatening to drop against your outstretched hand.

Spencer can practically feel your emotions. Each shake of your shoulders is like a piece of his heart being ripped out of his chest.

He wants nothing more than to grab you and never let go, to take back all of the nasty words he said and just wrap you up in his arms.

In the next heartbeat he's going after you, desperately grabbing onto your wrist as you reach for the doorknob yet again. "Please...."

You turn around as Spencer grasps at your wrist again, and you’re looking at his face for no longer than a second before your tears come back with a vengeance and start running down your face again, all semblance of composure completely lost.

Spencer's eyes follow a tear rolling down your cheek, and all he wants to do right now is give you the biggest, warmest embrace that he can manage.

He looks absolutely desolate knowing he's responsible for all of these tears, and the mere thought that you're leaving him alone makes him feel worse than anything he’d experienced in the three months he’d spent in those concrete walls.

Spencer's words are muffled and hoarse as he tries to speak again through his own tears. "I can be better... I can..."

Spencer can see the pain on your face, and as much as he's trying to keep it together his heart is too heavy to stay afloat from the sheer guilt he feels.

It's clear that he's not dealing well with the knowledge that he could lose you.

"I can be like before....I can be the Spencer you fell in love with....Please..."

The sight of Spencer being so willing, so desperate to change who he is and go back to who he used to be so that you don’t leave him is such a broken feeling, and it makes your heart shatter into tiny shards at the thought of it.

"i don’t want you to be like before Spencer… that’s not who you are anymore.."

Every word you say feels like a stab to his heart, but he knows it’s the truth.

He’s lost the boy you used to know, the happy, sweet, gentle boy who just wanted to be accepted and loved by those around him, to be useful and make a positive difference in the world.

He wants to fight back and beg you to stay, to refuse to believe that this is the end for you two.

But he can’t fight it.

He can’t hold on to someone who doesn’t want him anymore.

"I still love you…"

Your voice is quiet, barely more than a whisper, and you’re not even sure you actually said it out loud as your gaze lowers back down to the floor.

Spencer’s eyes widen as your words ring through the room, and with an abrupt motion he moves towards you and wraps his arms around your body in a tight embrace.

He's trying not to cry again, but the emotional weight of your words is too much for him to handle and his tears are falling freely.

His head rests against your shoulder, his entire body trembling as he begins to tear up in earnest.

The minute your face meets his chest any physical resolve completely shatters and you essentially crumble into his arms, your legs giving out underneath you until the two of you are sat in a heap on the floor, relying on each other for support.

Spencer doesn’t mind at all. Your body’s pressed up against his at an angle that’s oddly comforting for both of you, as if you’re meant to be there.

And he’s not going to let you go.

Spencer buries his face in your neck as you sit huddled against each other, the two of you shaking while your tears spill over one another’s shoulders.

Your arms grasp desperately at the fabric of his shirt, hands curled into fists against his back as your face burrows against his collar to muffle the sobs and whimpers leaving your throat.

You’ve never felt more comfortable before in your life, despite your situation.

It’s as if Spencer’s body is moulding to every inch of you, fitting you into him as flawlessly as pieces of a puzzle.

Your legs feel warm where they’re pressed up against his body.

You can feel his heartbeat beating in his chest.

Your arms wrap tightly around his torso to pull him closer even though you’re close enough already.

"I don’t want to leave you..” Your words are quiet, desperate.

“Then don’t.” The words fall from his mouth before he even manages to think about them.

He doesn’t care how selfish he’s being or if it ends in this same conversation in a couple of months time, all he wants in this moment is to be close to you again. “Just- say that you won’t and i’ll get better, i’ll get better right now for you I promise.”

"Don’t do it for me Spencer…" You muster the energy to pull your head away from Spencer’s shoulder and do the same to his with your hand, deftly wiping the pad of your thumb over his cheek to rid of the tear stain lingering there. "You have to want to get better for yourself,"

Spencer nods his head. He does want to get better, he wants to make you proud of him again, he wants you to not worry about each and every thing that might plague him over the upcoming months.

The man you fell in love with is still there and he doesn’t want to go anywhere ever again.

“I don’t care what I have to do, I don’t care if I have to go to therapy every single goddamn day for the rest of my life as long as you stay.”

You bury your head back into his neck at the sentiment, clamping your eyes shut with a shaky inhale. "I’m not going anywhere.."

Spencer wraps his arms around you to prevent you from pulling away again, the relief visible on his face now that you’ve decided to stay.

He’s content with being here, with getting better for both of you.

Your bodies are moulded around each other and there’s nothing more he could ask for in an embrace.

And for what feels like forever, you just sit there, savouring the warmth of each other’s bodies as if you’re never going to feel it again if you let go.

You hope that this marks the end of the rift in your communication.

You hope this means the two of you actually have a chance.

And you desperately pray that Spencer will manage to heal with the help of having someone by his side.

[hirukochan]

Stood-up

A Severus Snape x fem!reader Oneshot

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Pairing: Severus Snape x former student reader

Summary: Your former professor saves you from embarrassment when your blind date doesn't show up to the fancy restaurant you were meant to meet at.

Warnings: Smut, Loss of virginity, virgin reader

Wordcount: 5007

Read on Ao3 or below the cut

You did not expect life after Hogwarts to be…this. Whatever this is. Boring. That much is certain. You finished school five years ago with good grades and that was it. You celebrated your graduation with your friends who were already gushing about their future careers and their dream jobs, and you had nothing to offer to the conversation. You didn’t know what you wanted to do after school. And five years later you still don’t know.

You wanted to move out of your parents’ house and so you went to interviews for any job you thought yourself decently qualified for. You ended up working in a depressing little second hand bookshop in Diagon Alley. The owner, some rich fuck that doesn’t even live in London, pays you well to take care of anything that needs taking care of because the shop belonged to his wife’s grandfather, and she can’t bear separating with it. 

You also get to live rent-free in the one-room flat above the store. You have a kitchen, a bed and a bathroom and no controlling boss looming over your every move. Life is…good. It’s ok, nothing groundbreaking, but how many people get that? How realistic is an action filled, thrilling life actually?

Your friends seem content with life as it is and so you try to be content as well. 

In reality you feel lost.

You have looked into universities, but you aren’t sure if you’d be good enough and the fear of failing holds you back. Besides, what would you even study? In school charms had been your favourite, but was that because of the subject or your teacher? Professor Flitwick had made each class a delight to be in.

You shove the thoughts away, focusing on finishing up closing the store. A friend has set up a blind-date for you. Some guy she works with at the Ministry. She has gushed about him endlessly and you are sure were she not in a relationship herself - she would totally try to date him. 

That is a recipe for disaster, but you want to indulge your friend or perhaps just make her shut up and so you go along.

You lock up the shop and hurry upstairs to shower, change and put on some makeup. An hour later you are standing outside the shop, mentally preparing for the apparition. You are certain you’ll never get used to it.

Pleasant, classical music floods the street as you open the door to the wizarding restaurant and bar in central London. This is already outside your comfort zone. Too fancy and too full. Are you underdressed? Are you overdressed? Shit, what if he isn’t here yet?

“Reservation for Everett.” You say to the hostess who swishes her wand and looks through the list of reservations.

“This way, madam. Your partner is not here yet.” Shit. Of course, he wouldn’t be. You are early. Way too early. Pathetic, desperate early.

The hostess shows you to your table and you smile kindly as you sit down. A waiter hurries over to you and asks for your drink order.

“Wine. Red, please.” The waiter is gone before you can finish your sentence. A glass of wine floats to your table shortly after. You let your eyes wander over the room as you take small sips. A few couples sit at the tables, some more stand at the bar, chatting with each other.

You wait.

And wait.

Three glasses later you know you got stood up. You try to fight the tears stinging in your eyes and dig through your purse for some money to pay for the drinks and scurry out of the restaurant as fast as possible. 

How pathetic! Hot shame spreads through your chest, your guts twist at the mere thought of getting up and leaving. Your feet don’t work. They simply won’t respond to your command. With all your willpower you stifle a sob in your throat. This is your last straw.

All the disappointment over life after Hogwarts, the loneliness, being lost and left behind by the golden opportunities your future had promised you - and now not even your date could bother to show up! You didn’t even want to meet him. Prick!

“Ms. (L/N)?” You flinch. That voice. You are sure that voice would give you war-like flashbacks for the rest of your life. Running through corridors at night, blood pounding in your ears, already feeling safe as the entrance to your common room approaches just to be violently stopped by those words.

You turn and meet the dark eyes of your former professor for potions. 

Severus Snape has not changed in the five years since you last saw him. The same hooked nose, same pale skin. Black greasy hair falling into his face. The long black robes hiding every inch of his skin.

“P-professor Snape.” You reply, because you have to say something. His eyes wander over you, clearly made up for a date and then twitch to the empty seat across from you. They narrow as they see the three empty glasses and the slight redness of your eyes. Without saying anything he slips into the seat across from you.

“Two glasses of whatever the lady has been drinking.” He says as he grabs a waiter by the arm. He gestures towards the glasses. “And get rid of these. What kind of service is this?” The waiter apologises profusely and hurries away quickly. 

You stare at Snape in bewilderment. He is sitting across from you. He saw you got stood up and sat down. And he ordered drinks. 

He is looking at you. Say something. Anything. Shit shit shit.

“I was supposed to meet someone.” You say, cursing how meek you sound. You look away and try to subtly wipe the corner of your eye where a stubborn little tear tries very hard to run down your cheek. You know if you allow that one to pass your lashes, there is no holding back the rest.

“I gathered.” He leans back in his chair, his eyes still roaming over you. Instantly you feel like you are back in the dungeons of Hogwarts, trying your best to brew a potion while he stares at you, waiting for the moment you fail. You swallow hard as the familiar nervousness of being around Snape takes over.

“A boyfriend?”

“N-no. A friend set it up- never met him.”

“What do you do these days?” You blush. You were afraid he might ask that.

“I-I run a little b-bookshop in Diagon Alley…sir.” The ‘sir’ slips out before you can stop it. A smirk tucks at the corners of his mouth at the sound of it but dies instantly.

“A bookshop? And you’re happy with that?” You shrug. You aren’t, but you wouldn’t tell him that. You cling to your glass. This is worse than getting stood up and humiliated. Infinitely worse. Snape leans over the table, his dark eyes glinting with something you can’t quite place.

“I am not going to bite you. Unless-” You tense. Is he flirting? Merlin’s beard- You feel heat rise to your face and stare down at the wine in your hands. “I apologise. This is inappropriate and you clearly wish to be as far away from me as possible. I’ll leave you to it.” Snape says, an edge of self-loathing sneaking into his voice. He digs through his pocket and puts down a few coins on the table.

“Stay-” You have no idea how you manage to force the word out of your constricting throat but there it is. Out in the open. 

Snape stares at you in disbelief. You take a shaky, deep breath and look up to meet his intense gaze.

“Stay.” You repeat, firmer this time. That expression flashes through his eyes again and after a moment of hesitation he settles down.

“U-unless I am keeping you from meeting someone. I-” You hadn’t considered why he might be here. Shit, is he on a date? And instead of that he took pity on you? Does Snape date? 

He chuckles. The sound as foreign to your ears as kindness or praise from him. It goes straight to your core, and you gulp as you are violently tossed back into your old crush. That is the last thing you need now! 

Imagining him doing all sorts of things to you during class was bad enough already - mainly because it really messed with your grade - but imagining them now that you are no longer his student, no longer sixteen- You blush even more as you realise that - in theory - you could do these things now. 

It has been five years since you graduated, sure it is a bit weird maybe, but entirely allowed. You have not been in contact with him since graduation. He has made no inappropriate comment to you while you were his student ever- in fact he barely ever talked to you.

You feel Snape’s hot gaze burn through your skull. It’s almost like he knows. Which is entirely impossible. Or is it? He has the uncanny ability to know when students are planning mischief behind his back and such things as reading minds isn’t at all a ridiculous idea to wizards- shit.

Snape’s lips curl as you stare at him.

“Oh, yes.” His smooth voice says in your head. “I know. I know all the little fantasies you have been coming up with for years.” The colour vanishes from your face. You take a big gulp of your wine, downing the entire thing in one go to aid your suddenly parched throat. Snape swirls the wine in his glass, never taking his eyes off you.

“A-and is that some-something you’d…you’d want?” You ask. Your heart twists and turns in your chest, your insides clench almost uncomfortably. You have no idea where you take the bravery from to say it out loud. 

His grin grows, his eyes darken, snapping down to the neckline of your dress. In one smooth movement he gets up and holds his hand out to you.

This is it.

The one opportunity you’d get.

You take his hand. 

Your skin tingles where it touches him and a giddy feeling spreads through you. 

You are going to sleep with your Potions professor. Former professor. Dark, unapproachable, cruel Snape. The man you have been fantasising about since 6th grade. The man that terrifies you as much as he intrigues you.

Together you leave the restaurant. He guides you towards an abandoned alley and lets go of your hand to snake his arm around your waist.

“Hold on tight.” He whispers in his ear. You can feel his breath on your neck and a shudder runs down your spine. You take a shaky breath and put your arms around his waist. You are swept up in his scent, musky and herbal. It clouds your mind instantly and you bite your tongue so you don’t inhale deeper just so it can flood your senses more. His magic wraps around you and you squeeze your eyes shut, waiting for the apparition to pass. You can feel the chuckle rumble through Snape’s chest before you hear it.

“Still no fan?” 

“No.” You reply breathless and separate from him. He holds onto your waist, eyeing you as though he expects you to collapse. Right- You did. During Apparition training in your 7th year, you lost consciousness after your first successful attempt. He was one of the teachers overseeing the training. 

You blush as the memory of how embarrassed you felt waking up in his arms, your whole year watching, resurfaces in your mind. You clear your throat and look around. You’re in Diagon Alley, not far away from the bookshop. You dig through your pocket and get out the key as you walk towards it. 

You are going to have sex. 

You are going to have sex with Snape. He’s walking right behind you. Nervous doesn’t even begin to cover how you feel.

“This is it.” You say and close the door behind you. Your flat looks terribly small with Snape standing in it. 

“Do you still want me to stay?”

“Yes. I’m just-”

“Yes?” He steps closer.

“You intimidate me.”

“Is that a good thing? Or a bad thing?”

“Good.” You reply breathlessly. Your mind is already foggy just from him standing so close to you. His eyes roam over your face, as though he is determined to enter all its details to his memory. Your heart beats impossibly fast in your chest, smashing against your ribcage so hard you wonder whether Snape can hear it. He leans down, inky hair falling into his face, stealing your view of the room around you. 

Your insides clench and scream for him to kiss you. Finally kiss you. You bite your bottom lip to stop its pathetic quivering. His scent floods your senses and briefly renders your mind nonexistent. 

Snape runs his fingertips over your arm, starting at your wrist and drawing goosebumps across your naked skin, all the way up to your shoulder. Your breath hitches and you barely manage to withstand the urge to hold onto him.

“You’d have to take this off first.” He says, quiet, calm. His voice sends a shiver through your body. He drags his fingers over your shoulder to your neck. He takes the zipper and slowly pulls it down, the sound resounds in your room loud like thunder. 

He barely touches your skin when he peels the straps off your shoulder and gently tugs the dress down and over your hips. It pools around your feet on the ground.

Snape takes a step back and takes in your body. You aren’t wearing a bra, you own none that would have looked good with the dress and stand in front of him only in a pair of black lace knickers.

His eyes remain as unreadable as they always are. He seems to assess your body with the same impartiality as he used to look at your potions. You shiver, cold air swirling around your heated skin, goosebumps spread across your skin and your nipples harden. Your face is burning hot though, and you barely resist the impulse of covering yourself with your arms.

Just when you begin to think this is some cruel joke, he is playing on you to embarrass you, he closes the distance between you two - too fast for your mind to catch up. He grabs your waist and smashes your body against his. His lips crash against your collarbone, his teeth graze your skin.

You gasp and sink your hands into his hair, marvelling at how soft it feels. He kisses your skin, sucks and nibbles. White hot lust seeps into your skin from the saliva he spreads across it. 

He holds your waist in his surprisingly strong arms and attacks your chest, worshipping every inch of you as though you are some ancient artefact promising prosperity and luck to loyal devotees. He groans against you, and you join with a moan of yourself, arching your back, offering your chest up to him. He accepts without hesitation, with enthusiasm even. Snape licks broad, firm strokes over your exposed breast, roughly kneading the other with his hand.

His thorough attention is dizzying. Blood pounds in your ears and waves upon waves of merciless pleasure course through you, twisting your vocal cords into the strangest of sounds you have never heard yourself make.

“Are you a virgin?” He groans against your skin.

“Y-yes-” He stops, dead in his tracks. Slowly his head tilts back, his gaze snapping in on yours.

“Yes?” Hunger flashes through his eyes and he licks his lips. “How the fuck are you still a virgin?” You blush more fiercely if that is even possible. Your shrug and drops your hands to his shoulders.

“Um- nobody was ever interested in me like that.”

“You’re what? Twenty-one?”

“Twenty-two.”

“And nobody ever touched your gorgeous fucking body?” He sounds baffled, like your words are the most ridiculous thing he has ever heard.

“Touched, yes…snogging at parties in the common room and such, but-” Your voice trails off. 

“You are telling me.” He says, his voice growing to untamed deep turmoil of unabashed desire and feral lust. “Nobody ever sucked on these dainty, splendid nipples?” As if to emphasise his words he closes his lips around one, holding it between his teeth and flicking his tongue over it. You whimper. Your legs shake under the weight of your own body, and you cling to his shoulders. His eyes never leave you, the weight of them heavy on you, buzzing on your skin. You throw your head back, moaning like you’ve never moaned before.

He chuckles, the vibration of it ripples through the tissue of your breast and sinks deep into your body, melting into your bones. He kisses his way back up to your collarbone and neck.

“Fools. Every single one of them that did not realise what they are missing out on.” He gently sucks on the sensitive skin in the crook of your neck. He steers you backwards until your calves meet the frame of your bed and you allow your body to fall back.

Snape kicks his shoes off and slips out of his cloak before he follows you, crawling over the bed, up your body like a predator about to devour his prey. A shiver rushes through you at that thought. Yes- you want him to devour you, to worship you, to ruin you and build you back up. He braces his arms against the mattress on either side of your head.

“And you still want me to stay?” The words fall into the space between your bodies, filled with heat and want, desire and fear, buzzing with anticipation. His eyes are softer somehow, less intense, but not less hungry. They tell you how much he wants you, craves you but also tell you he’d stop. You just need to say the word and he will leave. Without shaming you, without a cruel word or ounce of disappointment. 

“Yes.”

“You want to give this first experience to me? Of all people?”

“I’ve always wanted it to be you.” Snape groans and closes his eyes. His head drops, coming to rest against your shoulder, nestling to the crook of your neck.

“Do you have any idea-” He is breathing heavy, clenching his fists in your sheets, his body one large, tensed muscle. “-what you do to me?” Before you can answer he grabs one of your hands and brings it down. He presses it against his upper thigh where his cock is very hard, straining against its confines. You gasp at which Snape smirks. He rolls his hips against your hand.

“It’s big…” You whisper, more fear mixing in with your burning arousal.

“You can take it.” He leans down. His lips brush over your cheek. “I’ll make sure of it.” His breath dances over the shell of your ear, prickling. As soon as it passes your skin feels terribly cold, like it’s never going to be warm ever again just to be replaced by burning heat. Snape drags the tip of his tongue across the shell of your ear and back down to close his lips around your earlobe.

The whimper that falls from your lips at that is more of a high pitched squeak and finally, finally he kisses you. His lips are soft like silk and warm, reminding you of a mug of butterbeer in the Three Broomsticks in winter. 

You sigh and move your lips with his, threading your fingers through his hair. Despite the way he has been acting so far, he kisses you passionately, almost slow, but no less thorough. 

Severus Snape is nothing if not thorough. 

And he intends to savour you.

You part your lips for him, eager to move this along, eager to feel him and the pleasure he can bring you, but when it comes to actually deepening the kiss you hesitate. Snape senses your nervousness and takes over the decision making from you. The tip of his tongue meets yours and he slides it slowly over your own, easing you into the kiss and coaxing a small moan from you. 

You relax against him and surrender yourself to his touch once more. You have never been kissed like this. With want and need, with passion and hunger. He maps out your mouth as though he is trying to dissect a potion he has never seen into its separate components. 

His hands run over your body, your sides and stomach to your thighs. You whine at his touch and muscles twitch under your skin as if to reach out to his calloused fingers. The wool of his frock rubs against your skin when he moves. You reach out to work on the endless row of buttons but are rather abruptly interrupted by his fingers against your cunt. 

A surprised, shuddering gasp escapes you and your fingers tense against his chest. Snape chuckles into the kiss, never once stopping his assault on your mouth. Playful he circles your entrance, gathering you slick and spreading it to your clit. You cling to his shoulders and push your head back into the pillows. Pressure builds deep in your cunt, and you need him to ease it- need him to- to-

“Ahh-” You cry out and dig your nails into Snape’s shoulders. Your own fingers never felt that fucking good.

“Are we enjoying ourself?” Snape teases, watching the pleasure drunk expression on your face.

“Mhh…Snape-” You buck your hips into his hand. “Please- fuck me-”

“Patience, dear. I told you I would make sure you can take me.” He teases your entrance with a finger, coating it in your slick and then gently pushes inside you. “I will fuck you. I will fuck you so well nobody will ever compare to me, but first I’ll stretch this virgin cunt because as you so eloquently put it - It’s big.”

“There was this rumour back in school-” You murmur, blissful pleasure clouding your mind and rendering it utterly useless. “-that- that….oohhh-”

“That I’m a virgin?” He smirks. He pumps his finger inside you, curling it and pressing upwards slightly and a flash of searing pleasure explodes inside your cunt, and you squirm under him, rolling your hips into his touch to get more more more. “Does it feel like I am? Like I’ve never touched a woman?”

“Snape-”

“Dear, believe me, I know your body better than you.” You want to get offended by that statement. What a man thing to say but then Snape does something with his finger, twisting and curling at the same time or something else, interrupting your thoughts harshly with another mind-blowing ripple of pleasure. 

Snape adds a second finger, stretching you carefully and kissing you the entire time, then a third. You are hot all over. Sweat clings to you like a second layer of skin. You are shivering from unfulfilled need and the steadily building pressure deep in your cunt just outside of Snape’s reach.

It builds and builds, beyond anything you were ever able to do to yourself and you have no idea how it keeps building and where all this pressure goes because the thought of it all staying confined in you is absurd!

You whine at the loss of his touch and buck your hips in a futile attempt of stopping his fingers from leaving you. Snape looks very fucking smug, but you are to wound up and needy to even care. 

He watches you squirm, your slickness dripping off his fingers. He traces your lips with his ring finger, spreading your own arousal over them. You are too far gone to really care. Your tongue darts out and licks your lips clean, accepting his finger into your mouth. You suck his fingers clean, one after another, Snape’s dark eyes never leaving you.

“What a good girl.” He coos. His voice rolls over your skin and sinks into your body, causing your insides to clench. 

You watch Snape undo the rest of the buttons and toss the black frock away. He opens his belt, the quiet clink of the buckle echoes in your mind. You’re about to see Snape’s prick. Snape just fingered you. You’ve been kissing Snape! 

Your heart beats faster, like a hummingbird forced to forever fly on the spot in a too small cage. Anticipation takes your breath away and impossibly so, more slickness rushes to your entrance. Every second he takes to open his trousers feels like another fire being lit on your skin. 

He slides a hand in his pants and now you are sure he is doing it to see you squirm because who moves that slow?

You let out an impatient whine and squirm, bucking your hips to grind against him.

“So impatient.” He chuckles and finally, finally frees his prick. 

It’s big is a pretty accurate description, you don't know what Snape has against your eloquence. Jesus fuck, is another option but you doubt Snape would find that more eloquent.

His plush, purple cockhead is already leaking pre-cum. Snape mutters an incantation, you recognise as a contraception spell, before aligning himself with you.

“Don’t worry, dear.” He coos. “I’ll be gentle. Just relax.” You try. You really try, but Snape has your nerve endings running in circles, screaming, while on fire. Stop, drop and roll is not an option that they can think of, mainly because thinking is quite difficult when on fire. 

He pushes against you, and you tense further. Snape rubs your thigh, and you take a deep breath and try to relax your muscles. Slowly, inch after thick inch Snape enters you. Beads of sweat collect on his forehead from the strain of going slow. Inch after inch of your tight channel is mercilessly forced to yield to his girth, stretching you open with a small sting. 

Snape grunts and sinks into you to the hilt, sacking above you to give you time to adjust and also catch his breath.

You are so bloody full. How he isn’t ripping you open is a miracle to you. Your knuckles are white from holding onto his arms. The muscles in your thighs quiver. You give tentatively rolls of your hips, earning a low groan from Snape another wave of deep pleasure.

“You’re breathing really hard.” He mutters into your ear. “I like that - keep working so hard for me, dear.” Snape’s thrusts are long and controlled, massaging your inner walls and hitting just the right spots. You are reduced to a pathetic, needy moaning puddle of bliss and want. 

Snape isn’t doing too much better. His breathing is heavy and loud right next to your ear which drives you deeper and deeper into your trance-like state of ecstatic bliss. His rhythm falters more than once and his groans take on an animalistic edge. 

“So tight.” He grunts and drives back into you. “Just for me-”

“Snape!”

“That’s right. Saved yourself for me, didn’t you, dear?”

“Idiot.” You laugh against his jaw.

“No need to play shy - you can tell me.” Snape smirks and leans his forehead against yours. “I won’t tell anyone, I swear.” He snaps his hips forward, hitting that spot with more force than before and your breath gets stuck in your throat. You tense and convulse, somehow simultaneously. Snape grunts when you clench around him and your inner walls spasm.

“Keep coming- keep fucking coming for me!” He reaches between your bodies and rubs your clit. A violent wave of pleasure smacks you right in the face and you scream in pleasure. Snape whispers reverent praise and fucks you through your release, coming shortly after with a long groan inside you.

Sweaty, sticky and spent you collapse on the bed, both trying to catch your breath. Snape runs his hand over your thigh absentmindedly. His cum slowly leaks out of you. Your eyelids are heavy. A heavy blanket of bliss and contentment settles over you.

“Thank you.” You whisper into the silence of your flat.

“Whatever for?” He chuckles next to you.

“It was nice.” You shrug.

“Well, I should be thanking you for even letting me touch you.”

“Let’s thank each other.”

“Fine.” You stay there a while longer, but eventually Snape disentangles himself from you and gets up to get dressed.

Lying on your side with your sheets pulled up to cover your still shaking body you watch him.

“You know-” He says but stops himself, a frown appearing on his face. “A career isn’t the only thing to measure how accomplished or fulfilled one’s life is. Your friends might think their jobs are great now, but in ten, twenty years they’ll realise they have never lived a day in their life. This job…” He looks around the flat. “It seems pretty comfortable to me. It seems to give you the freedom to do whatever you want. Create art or music, write, research or go to university. You can do whatever you want - fuck what other people think. Not everybody dreams of labour.”

“What if I’m not good enough?” Snape fastens his cloak. He looks up. His eyes seem heavy with a burden you can’t quite understand. The corner of his mouth twitches and perhaps for the first time in the years you have known him you see him smile.

“I think you can achieve anything you put your mind to. And either way. How will you know if you never try? The day will come you’ll regret having allowed your fear to hold you back.” His cloak billows behind him when he turns to leave. His hand already on the doorknob he stops.

“I hope you find happiness.”

“I hope you find happiness too, Professor.”

“For some of us it’s too late.” And with those words he disappears into the darkness of the night.

Three weeks later Albus Dumbledore is murdered by Severus Snape.

| Part 2 |

[d1s1ntegrated]

Your headcanons and fics are so real and true to me… Would it be possible to make a fic/ list of headcanons in a college/ school AU where shigaraki is weirdly obsessed with y/n ? please and thank you🙏

i had this as a draft and it got deleted </3 but YASSSSSS i love creepy shig! also sorry in advance...

to be seen (slight nsfw)

stalker!shiggy x friendly and slightly naive!reader oneshot

quirkless college au !

summary: shigaraki is obsessed with you. you like being his friend. mistakes happen.

cw: painnnnn, unrequited love, pining, stalker activities, masturbation mentioned, pervert mindset, language, slight mention of drunk sex, panty sniffing? is that what i call it????

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

shigaraki was your classmate in creative writing. he was a little reclusive, but you didn't mind. you just sat next to the guy (when he decided to show up to class anyways). what you knew about him was minimal, but oh, the things he knew about you. he had memorized your class schedule, he knew when your period started and ended. he knew when you were going out, and when you'd come back. he knew you lost your pens frequently, so he bought a pack for when you inevitably asked to borrow one from him. and licked them all, in hopes you'd chew on the ends like you usually do.

he never meant to get this bad, actually.

see, it all started when you were assigned a workshopping assignment for a story, so he invited you to his dorm to work on it. he wasn't prepared, you showed up ten minutes after you texted him. he didn't even have time to shower, he was still sitting in cum-stained sweats and his favorite (albeit a bit gross) hoodie. but you cared nonetheless, you just wanted to finish the work. so you sat in his bed in your little shorts as he perched at his desk and ogled.

after you left, he shoved his face in the small imprint on his mattress and came buckets to the mere idea of your ass on his sheets. the obsession grew from there. his lack of attendance turned perfect, punctual even. he said hi every fucking day, even when you weren't really in the mood to talk. you didn't mind the company, hell, he was nice enough and surprisingly smart for someone so...like him. he texted you, too. reminders about due dates, notes, etc. you usually just replied with a "thanks!" or "okay ty", but it was more than enough for him.

he asked to come to your dorm to work one day-he lied and said his ac was broken. you bit the offer anyways and he showed up right on time, papers in hand like a proud child showing off their artwork. this time, you were in basic sweatpants and a tank top. he didn't mind- you were on your period this week, he knew that. the idea actually made his toes curl in his converse. when you went to grab a snack, he jumped for the dirty laundry basket and snagged the first pair of panties he could find, shoving them hastily into his hoodie pocket. he went back to his dorm that night and jerked off with the soft cotton in his mouth, sucking up every ounce of you he could.

he couldn't get enough of you. you were a drug to him, a lethal one at that. he couldn't eat or sleep without the idea of you easing him. he couldn't cum to anything other than your social media profile and the little smiley faces you texted him.

when you skipped class because of a cold, he showed up at your door with hot soup that he spit in and the notes from that day's lecture.

on your birthday, he bought you a pretty pink cupcake and a new pair of headphones because yours mysteriously went missing.

when you left for home on winter break, he cried every night while jerking off because he missed you so badly. you were his only friend, his lover, his prized possession.

the next semester, he made sure his schedule was an exact replica of yours. even though half of the classes he didn't even need, or have interest in. but fuck, any reason to see you was good enough for him. he didn't want to take it too far, but he ended up there anyways. he started to bring you little gifts almost every day. a new notebook, a coffee, he even bought you a new water bottle because he was there when yours fell on the tiled floor in the great hall and dented to shit. even when you said it was okay and still functional, a new (and better) one was on your desk the next day, already full with ice water and a little purple bow on the top of it.

you didn't need to know that he was cumming on the things he brought, or shoving them into his mouth and "cleaning them off" lazily because he needed you to have him so fucking badly.

it got to the point where he was begging you to hang out every day after class, and you stupidly agreeing every night because you had nothing better to do. because you felt bad for him. even with his...faults, you found a comfort in him. he was just a really good friend, which is hard to come by in college.

so you played video games with him and went out for coffee and lunch dates because that's what friends do. you fell asleep in his bed while studying a few times and he never minded, because that's what friends do. you went home in his clothes one night because he accidentally spilt a drink on you and offered to wash your clothes with his laundry, because that's. what. friends. do.

nevermind the pictures he had of you asleep in his bed. or your ass when you bent over in building 130 to pick up your phone. or your tits pressed against the table from coffee date number 2. all in a little folder tucked away in a calculator app.

nevermind all the pairs of your socks and underwear, hair ties and used napkins, empty bottles, the sample size of your perfume, all shoved away in his dresser drawer.

nevermind the returned clothes you wore that you never did get to washing because when you went, all the machines were in use and he needed them back. that he also never washed.

shigaraki was a weird kid. but you were friends, in your mind. you were lovers eternal in his.

so when you dragged him to a frat party and got drunk with him, stumbling back into his dorm at 3am, it wasn't a big deal.

it wasn't a big deal when he kissed you, hard. because you were friends, lovers, dramatically doomed from the start because of two very different life paths. the kind of love story that ends with cardboard boxes and good lucks. it wasn't a big deal to you when you took his virginity, sloppy and intoxicated, because you promised yourself you wouldn't fall for a guy you met in class.

but it was a big deal, and it wasn't a mistake, not to him. it wasn't a mistake when he came inside of you, crying, repeating the worst three words known to those who just wanted to be friends. it was a big deal and it was a mistake to tell him you loved him too, not because it was a lie, but because you knew full and goddamned well what you had done to such a broken man like him.

he never deserved your kindness. he never deserved the taste of you. but you let him have it, and he would never let that go.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

okay ouchie im sorry this was a beautiful prompt and i fear i brought the vibes sooooo down with this one. but i cant always write smut lads, sorryyyyyy!

i hope you enjoyed. also i hope i made this as stalker-creepy vibes as possible

i didnt wanna go full sicko mode w his stalker tendencies in this one bc in my mind, he just wants to be loved ;-;

thank you for the request and lmk if this one hits or not! i can try again if it doesnt spark joy lol

[theallianceofcelestials]

I really love the little scenarios people ask and I really wanted to ask one too hope it’s ok.

How would the family and eclipse react if eclipse for whatever reason be it scp related or a computer glitch lost his memory of them temporarily. Like it’s not gone forever he’ll get it back after whatever happened resolves itself

But he’s back to chapter one eclipse no idea who they are, what their capabilities are and why they are all in his room

I love these little scenarios, feel free to ask some more if you want to! I really don't mind, though don't expect me to answer any on mondays because that's just the worst

I also love love love this scenario, and I'm shaking you because I might just write an entire little what-if oneshot with this

So the family would be devastated after they realise what's going on. Which would be really fast, becuase Eclipse is genuienly terrified by these random people in his room, that looks vastly different from what he remembered.

He's especially terrified if it's one of those he went to sleep and woke up without any memory of his family, so he just bolted out of bed when someone started nudging him awake, and the smells of foor registered. Becuase neither of this should be possible, and was he somehow pranked?

And then there's probably Killcode before him, in all his nightmarish glory, so really, he can be excused for screaming he thinks.

This would alert everyone else, and they'd all rush to see what's wrong, which would just make everything worse.

He wouldn't believe them when they claim to be his family, because honestly who would want that? Who would want to spend time with him? But then they know what his favourite foods are, there's that book from that series he really enjoyed but couldn't bring himself to buy the next part of, there's a gaming console in his room which is something he was always interested in but always dismissed, and he can't ignore the notes inside his processor either, which all detail their traits and behaviour with a fondness that's alien to him.

Killcode would have to make the hardcall of pulling people back, asking their family to wait outside a bit. Eclipse from his notes, some of which are really just him bitching about stuff he doesn't like, would know this probably means the SCP(??!?!??!?!?!) wants to have an emotional conversation, or at least a serious one, which he is really not ready for seeing as he doesn't know this guy. For all he knows he got reset to a certain backup of himself, and the guy these people were family with is dead.

It'd be a teeth pulling conversation for both, because Eclipse would at least try, because these are SCPs and they may very well try to rip his face off.

He also wonders if perhaps the whole notes thing is just some weird SCP bullshitery, and he's just currently being experimented on. He doesn't dismiss this all just being an elaborate hallucination.

The whole day would be tense for everyone, with Eclipse trying to find a way out of this fake world or whatever it is, and everyone else just going insane over Eclipse not remembering them.

Solar Flare would try to remind him of stuff by showing him pictures it drew, hoping one would spark a memory.

Bloodmoon may go as far as trying to chase him down, hoping the trauma he suffered at their hand that one time would bring their brother back, even if when they finally tackle him all they end up doing is cry on top of him when he still looks at them without comprehension.

Sun would try and talk to him, because he can't exactly do anything. He doesn't know why his nephew has such a high opinion of him when he's not smart, he can't do magic and he's not strong either. And clearly he's useless again just like he was before the prison, because here's another family member not listening to him.

Lunar would try to pretend nothing is wrong at first, hoping if he's just stubborn enough Eclipse will magically remember and go back to his usual self. Neither of them are unaware of how flawed this logic is, but just like Sun, Lunar feels like he can't do anything either. He's just the childish baby brother after all.

Moon would obviously want to take a look at him. He's not above threatening Eclipse to submit, though he's not proud. When he can't find anything obviously wrong he'd start going off the deep end, locking himself in Eclipse's office to find some sort of cure.

Killcode would just silently stay away. He's done what he could, and now he doesn't know what to do. This has never happened, and there's no magical explanation he can sense, and clearly from his brother's reaction there isn't a scientific one either. Eclipse would some reason feel really uncomfortable and cold from that distance, which he'd dismiss with a scowl. But he does search for him when he's not there, which must just be from some form of malfunction, because why else would he do it? Why else would he humour any of them really?

At one point he'd just probably clonk out in the middle of what he was doing, causing alarm amongst the personnel, and his family.

Next day, he wakes up in his bed with a headache, his family around the bed, not even daring to be on it in fear he still doesn't remember them.

It's all heartfelt reunions after that, and Eclipse is now curious just what the fuck he did to lose of like the last year or so.

[eightmakesonebraincell]

[fic rec mlist] member x reader | hyung line

main mlist | prev (ot8) | next (member-specific cont)

only general themes and tags are listed - please read through the author's specific tags and warnings

both sfw and nsfw fics are included. minors please dni with nsfw fics and respect the age restrictions put into place by the writers (suggestive, smut, and trigger warnings are highlighted in red)

🩶 favourites

white love | @sorryimananti-romantic

genre: iceprince!hongjoong x fireprincess!reader, fantasy, fluff, angst

length: oneshot - 24k

there seems to be an eternal winter set in wonderland caused by the ice prince hongjoong, and you- the fire princess who has been laying low for a while- set out to end it. what you don’t expect is to find him freezing to death trapped in a tower, and as you save him, you find out that the mages in wonderland are uprising to end the original bloodline- titled prince and princesses. creating a small team with your childhood friend seonghwa and a water mage yunho, you and hongjoong fight against the threat to your life while uncovering secrets and finding unexpected friends and love.

horizon | @pxedpiper

genre: pirate!au, fluff, angst, trigger warnings

length: 22/22 chapters [completed] - 79.0k

once a princess of a kingdom you loathed to call yours, you have somehow found yourself aboard a pirate ship, stuck on the ocean waves. now you try to figure out how to escape them, but as you continue to journey with them, you find yourself wondering if you even want to.

feverish | @hwaightme

genre: fluff, sickfic

length: oneshot - 2.4k

as you come down with a cold, hongjoong is right there to lift you back up again, be it with soup, song, presence, or all at once.

nighthawks | @the7thcrow

genre: designer!hongjoong x writer!reader, angst, fluff, meet-cute

length: 5.9k

you share a night, a cigarette, and a sobering conversation with a beautiful stranger. a glimpse of normality for you troubled nighthawks.

marigold | @yoongiseesawmp3

genre: fratboy!hongjoong, fluff, smut

length: oneshot - 12.7k

your best friend and the bane of your existence is probably the love of your life, and you’re not sure how to tell him. your mutual friend seonghwa knows about your true feelings for hongjoong, and he does everything in his power to get you two together. one halloween party, one rainy car ride and one emotional rollercoaster later, you finally get a taste of what you’ve been waiting so long for. 

project d | @setsugekka

pairing: hongjoong x reader, yunho x reader

genre: street racing au, ex!hongjoong, angst, smut, trigger warnings

length: oneshot - 20.5k

with a nice enough guy who’s just a little too rough around the edges for your parents liking, and a best friend who put you up to him (albeit a tad unknowingly), surely things can’t possibly get more complicated for the local illegal street racing squad. except, between racing for pink slips and bragging rights, there’s emperors leader, jeong yunho.

daisies | @the7thcrow

genre: summer camp au, childhood friends to lovers, fluff, angst

length: oneshot - 11.0k

one last trip. that was what you wanted. to let yourself dream of your childhood sweetheart one final time, before closing that chapter of your life forever. however, the last thing you expected was for him to actually be there.

bodyguard | @baekhvuns

genre: mafia!au, romcom, angst, smut

length: oneshot - 37.8k

in which his task is to be your bodyguard, his mob-boss’s daughter. where he not only guards you but also guards your body.

one day at a time | @sorryimananti-romantic 🩶

pairing: seonghwa x reader, yunho x reader

genre: soldier!au, fluff, angst, suggestive, trigger warnings

loving seonghwa was like loving the moon. loving yunho was like loving the sun. the story of how you fell in love with seonghwa, one of the king’s trusted agent, married him, had a daughter and then lost him forever- and how you fell in love with yunho- also the king’s trusted agent, seonghwa’s best friend, a loving father to your daughter, and a husband who gave you enough space to grieve seonghwa, and enough time to make you fall in love with him.

length: oneshot - 18.5k

pov: you're a stereotype in an 80s classic | @atozfic 🩶

genre: strangers/enemies to lovers, highschool!au, badboy!au, angst, fluff

length: oneshot - 22.2k

a look into the life of six students who find themselves stuck in detention… for the entire school year.

this world | @hwaightme 🩶

genre: biker!seonghwa, fluff, romance, strangers to lovers, action, smut

length: oneshot - 16.2k

caught between the past and present, you search for a new beginning in night city as a mechanic at outlaw customs. how will a fateful encounter with seonghwa, the leader of the blue birds, help you feel alive?

sleazy seonghwa who sneezes | @chaseatinydream

genre: badboy!au, fluff

length: twoshot - 9.8k

by the intervention of fate (namely choi san), you see a different side to the school’s resident bad boy that you weren’t aware existed.

pirate!seonghwa | @ateezmakemeweep

genre: angst, fluff

length: oneshot - 13k

nil author synopsis

i'll be with you | @cheollipop

genre: hurt/comfort, angst, fluff

length: oneshot - 1.6k

a long, dreadful day at work calls for a hot shower and sleep, perhaps a few hours of crying as well. what you don't account for, however, is the man who wouldn't let you go through that alone.

royal library | @nczennie

genre: royalty!au, angst, fluff, smut

length: oneshot - 10.1k

you turn to look at seonghwa, “thank you for keeping my secret,” you smile at him and he returns it, quickly standing to bow, “of course, your highness. your secret is safe with me”.

addicting kitten | @tenelkadjowrites

genre: smut

length: 6/6 chapters [completed] - 34.3k

when your car breaks down and your phone is dead, you are stranded alone on the way home. however, when seonghwa, the intimidating figure you see at the club often, comes by and offers you a ride, you cannot help but feel as if you might be walking into the lion’s den.

playing with fire | @ateezmakemeweep 🩶

genre: sugardaddy!hwa, fluff, angst, smut

length: 5/5 chapters [completed] - 121k

when your scholarship falls through during the last semester of your college career, you were, admittedly, on edge.  overwhelmed by the prospect of delaying your graduation to save up thousands of dollars or work a second job or, per the suggestion of your roommate, sell pictures of your feet.  you first met park eunbi during your first year of college, when she walked through your dorm room with a smile on her face and her parents by her side - or, more notably to you, her incredibly handsome father.  that’s all he ever was to you though - your friend’s hot dad who you only ever saw a few times a year.  but when you find yourself around him more and more often, your attraction growing and his eyes lingering, you suddenly find yourself in a situation you know is wrong but can’t seem to pull yourself out of. 

lights out | @ateezmakemeweep

genre: neighbour!yunho, angst, fluff

length: oneshot - 7k

nil author synopsis

promise | @sorryimananti-romantic

genre: prince!yunho x princess!reader, arranged marriage, fluff, angst, suggestive

length: oneshot - 23k

‘i’ll be a friend to you, if nothing more’ is the promise yunho, prince of wonderland makes when you, the princess of eden find yourself in an arranged marriage with him to avoid war. however, war approaches and eden sides with the enemy. will you and yunho stick with each other? will you find love in this arranged marriage?

one day at a time | @sorryimananti-romantic 🩶

pairing: seonghwa x reader, yunho x reader

genre: soldier!au, fluff, angst, suggestive, trigger warnings

length: oneshot - 18.5k

loving seonghwa was like loving the moon. loving yunho was like loving the sun. the story of how you fell in love with seonghwa, one of the king’s trusted agent, married him, had a daughter and then lost him forever- and how you fell in love with yunho- also the king’s trusted agent, seonghwa’s best friend, a loving father to your daughter, and a husband who gave you enough space to grieve seonghwa, and enough time to make you fall in love with him.

come fly with me | @hwaightme

genre: pilot!yunho, fluff, angst, slice of life

length: oneshot - 9.0k

aerophobia - the fear of flying. and clearly, something that your boss has no idea exists. while you curse the universe and the metal bird, your handsome seatmate ponders if it is possible to redirect this flight, from gwangju, to your heart.

convenience store chances | @ohmyamor

genre: exbf!yunho, fluff, comfort, trigger warnings

length: oneshot - 2.5k

it’s the typical story of right person, wrong time. but maybe an unfortunate situation might turn the wrong time into the right time.

you're enough | @cheollipop

genre: hurt/comfort, fluff, angst

length: oneshot - 2.0k

with the soft scent of baby wipes following him, yunho helped you stand back up to face the storm within your mind.

out of the woods | @sluttywoozi

genre: rom com, friends to lovers, fluff, smut

length: 3/3 chapters [completed] - 9.2k

you’ve been driving yunho nuts lately and he just can’t figure out why. he hates being annoyed with his friends, so he’s been avoiding you. it’s difficult to stay away when you’re locked together in a cabin with seven of your closest friends, though.

complete relaxation package | @beahae

genre: massage therapist!yunho, smut

length: oneshot - 4.8k

you’ve been neglecting your self-care for a while now so you decide to treat yourself to a massage. you deserve it! you didn’t realize the guy you booked would be so attractive though.

lovers in the night | @atzfilm

genre: sugar daddy!yunho, exes to lovers, fluff, angst, smut

length: oneshot - 11.3k

just out of your college with a freshly printed degree, you set out for a job that would fit your somewhat high standards. after a brief scroll through a sugar daddy website and a meeting set-up, you sit across from the one man you didn't expect to see — jeong yunho, your ex-boyfriend and apparently, a millionaire looking for someone to spoil.

[newly added] your hand | @smileysuh

genre: tattooist!yunho, smut

length: oneshot - 6.6k

it’s a classic parlor love story: big tattoo man finds new receptionist cute, but he can’t talk to her until something totally avoidable happens that brings them together out of his own sheer stupidity- that kind of shindig ;) 

prince!yeosang x servant!reader | @ateezmakemeweep

genre: angst, fluff

length: oneshot - 4k

nil author synopsis

badboy!yeosang | @ateezmakemeweep

genre: angst, fluff, smut

length: oneshot - 18k

nil author synopsis

ideal woman | @the7thcrow

genre: gang!au, romance, angst, suggestive

length: oneshot - 10.5k

at the only bar in town where the lines drawn between different gangs becomes blurry, you spot your intellectual rival involved in one of the biggest underground organizations the city has to offer. responsible for the recent heist on your warehouse, as well as the death of multiple of your gang’s own members, he’s understandably considered someone that you should not be talking to. you buy him a drink.

the most lonely creature | @atzfilm

genre: serpent!yeosang, fantasy, fluff, angst, smut

length: oneshot - 35.9k

finding a yeouiju in the forest brings terrors unlike you've ever seen– in the shape of a water god

siren | @sorryimananti-romantic

genre: siren!yeosang, enemies to lovers, fluff, angst

length: oneshot - 27.8k

yeosang is a siren and you're a siren-hunter. he may have lost his voice and you may be immune to a siren's call, but he has you bewitched anyway. on your journey together to find the sirens who killed your parents and took his voice, you make new friends, find yourself cursed and turning into a siren, and fall for yeosang. he proves time and time again that he's not the monster you thought all sirens to be as he helps you come to terms with yourself and find the person who cursed you.

last updated: 24 march 2024

[481mclarg]

Drunk together. | LN4

★ Let's get drunk together so I can kiss you and blame it on the vodka.

FANFIC + SMAU « Eng & Esp »

Lando Norris x Male!Oc Former Rider.

« K » I have this AU posted in Spanish on Wattpad as a oneshot, but adding a bit more SM to the SMAU I think it's too long, so I'll post it in a few parts.

Warnings: (mention) drunk sex. Suggestive content, idiots in love, lack of communication (?)

★ Chapters: One. | Two. | Three. | Four. | Five. | Six. | Seven. | Eight. ★

🇦🇷 Lucas Blondel as... EZEQUIEL TORRES.

📱 @/ezzetorres37

EZE . . . 28 y.o: 5 February '96. aquarius. » Moto3 champion 🏍🏆 ; retired Argentine rider 🏁🩺, injured; homosexual 🏳️‍🌈.

( + Pedro Acosta is the one in the photos used when talking about Eze's career & random guys from pinterest).

🇬🇧 Lando Norris as... LANDO NORRIS.

📱 @/landonorris

LAN . . . 25 y.o: 13 November '99. virgo. » 🧡McLaren Racing Limited driver ; 🇬🇧 current F1 british driver🏎🏁 ; bisexual ‼️.

December 2024.

          Mutual friends made Ezequiel Torres, a former rider retired after suffering an leg injury and current mechanic, meet the driver of the current Formula 1 constructors' champion team, Lando Norris.

          Everything Ezequiel knew about Formula cars was thanks to his friend, Sacha Fenestraz, who used to talk to him about his own races and watch other together when they managed to coincide their schedules and meet on weekends to eat.

          It wasn't his main interest, it had always been motorcycles. A passion inherited from his family. Nevertheless, he did not deny that the world of four wheels was just as captivating.

          Anyway, upon meeting Lando he never had to worry about only knowing the basics about Formula 1.

          The British spoke a lot. It was interesting to listen to him explain things about his races and cars, or when he told him his story of starting in the world of music and clubs, what it was like to be a DJ, about streams... Each talk ended up deviating from the initial topic, when they spoke always branched off easily, especially in the clubs full of people dancing and enjoying the rhythm of what Lando played.

          Alcohol was always present, helping them blend into the environment and lose the little shame they had.

          Sacha introduced them. He knew his friends well; he knew they would hit it off immediately. He also accompanied them on the second time going to a club; on the third, was Torres who invited only Norris to "somewhere."

          He didn't have a plan in mind. With his friend now in Japan, he was almost lost in the cold English winter.

          The youngest had heard about a new place in the area near his house, but far from where Ezequiel rented an apartment.

(Ezequiel: You are quite annoying/stubborn, you know?)

          Convincing him wasn't difficult, although he debated whether accepting had been the right thing to do, feeling that something inside him. A kind of nervousness and excitement mixed. He didn't want the time to leave for Lando's house to come, but he didn't want to wait any longer either.

          That dilemma repeated during dinner. He hated the idea of ​​having to kill time before going to the club, but he also hated having to cut off at some point the conversation they had while they were eating on the couch, watching a movie.

          He felt comfortable; he had a great time with Norris. He could stay up all night watching TV with him, if they decided to change plans.

          In the end, neither of them spoke, so they called the Uber and had a couple of drinks before leaving. A little bit of alcohol, so they were still pretty sober when they arrived at the club. However, just the atmosphere was enough to help them blend into the vibes of the place.

          Dance and sing song after song, ordering bottle after bottle. Approaching to the other with no dissimulation but they didn't care. At that point, nothing but the other man mattered to them.

          Nothing but Lando's eyes was important to Ezequiel at that moment. He tried to decipher each different hue, learning how different lights affected its color; sometimes more bluish, other times it had greener tones, he swore he had even found some brown in them.

          As if his changing eyes weren't enough, he also had hundreds of moles on his skin that he could spend hours counting, drawing imaginary lines joining them, forming their own constellations. Outlining with the tip of his finger, delicate, under Lando's attentive gaze.

          Lando let him watch his body, moving his hand up to his dark hair. So soft that it seemed a shame he kept it so short. He had the opportunity to smell the aroma of his shampoo before, and he believed he had become addicted.

          The growth of a beard from a couple of days that always remained the same. He almost envied how well the facial hair looked on him.

          Going over the tattoos on his arms, outlining them while Ezequiel continued caressing his face. Being in an area further away from the dance floor, they didn't care much about being seen.

          Nothing mattered to them at that point.

          They couldn't take it anymore. The alcohol was beginning to be too much, the people were so noisy, the music was annoying and the heat was oppressive. Torres called another vehicle to take them to Norris' house, and in a few minutes, they were back in the brit's couch, trying to recover a little before being able to put their minds in order.

          —You're pretty. —He slurred his words, but spoke with conviction, needing to let his thoughts out, thoughts that did not come from his mind, but from the bottom of his heart.

          —And you're drunk —Ezequiel said, fighting not to let the blood rise to his cheeks or the corners of his lips to curl upward. —, talking nonsense. —he murmured, with a slightly failed accent, but understandable to Lando.

          —Drunks always tell the truth. —he replied, shaking his head almost exaggeratedly, having to rest it on the backboard of the couch to stop the dizziness. —It's just... confidence. The drunk's confidence to-... not think 'bout the consequences. Don't overthink.—

          — ¿Puedo aprovechar la confianza del borracho yo también? —he asked, not bothering to think about the translation. (Can I take advantage of the drunk's confidence too?)

          —You can- You can do whatever you want with me. —he nodded. He begged, rather, cautiously approaching one of his arms until he reached the older man's shoulder. Seeing that he didn't flee from his touch, he added his second arm, hanging around his neck.

          The suffocating smell of whiskey and fernet mixed in that small space between them followed them to the bedroom, already melted into a mixture of alcohol and desperation.

          Knots tied in their stomachs, a combination of nervousness and excitement. They gave their partner full permission to explore their body as much as they wanted, but at the same time they were afraid to do so.

          With the help of a bottle of champagne that Norris had taken, they chased away those concerns, surrendering to the warmth of others with total confidence.

          Sore, tired, sticky, wet bodies. A neat and meticulously maintained bed that ended up ruined. Feelings on the surface, taking advantage of every second to shout out what would be repressed in the morning. Marks they would hide, questions they would avoid answering, looks from which they would flee.

          An uncomfortable goodbye, a tortuous trip, and desperate calls that they cut off before they could even explain what was happening to them.

          Because not even they knew it.

          A second night that began awkwardly, with clear tension between the two sober men, ended just as intimate between the two drunk men.

          A third, a fourth. His friends were already suspicious of his disappearances in the middle of the night. It couldn't be a coincidence that as soon as the alcohol entered their systems, they disappeared.

          «What's going on between you two?» «Nothing!» Sacha would have loved to record his calls with both of them. How they began to justify accusations that he never made. "Defend yourself just in case." They knew their friends were suspicious; as if they were going to judge them at some point.

          After the fifth time, on a Saturday, Lando managed to wake up first. Close to the start of the Formula 1 season, his schedules were beginning to become stricter.

          That morning he got up and made breakfast. Ezequiel couldn't refuse the food, and until he drank at least one coffee, Lando wouldn't let him leave.

          The sixth ended with Torres waking up the next day, Sunday, back between Lando's sheets. The Argentine had been the first again, and unable to leave the bed, he waited in a silence that drove him crazy for the British to open his eyes.

          He had thought of a thousand and more ways to say goodbye, trying to choose the least uncomfortable one for that situation. In the end, he didn't need it. The brunette let him continue caressing his disheveled curls, with both of them allowing themselves for the first time to enjoy each other's warmth.

          Their first sober kiss was also that morning. Tangled in the mess that was the bed, buried between pillows and blankets, seeking each other's warmth. They had feared this so much, and rightly so, because now they felt unable to let the other go.

          The seventh occurred between China and Japan. A new world was opened to them among the streets of Suzuka.

          Sacha witnessed all those small gestures that they believed were imperceptible. Their hands swinging exaggeratedly to gently touch each other, walking together to brush shoulders, clinging to each other in the crowds, seeking the other's gaze when laughing.

          So obvious. Two fools in love; too in love to separate, but too stupid to dare to move forward.

          Norris spent the race weekend at the hotel where Torres had booked. Two different rooms, they excused themselves, but one of the doors wasn’t opened.

          The fact that the hotel staff almost caught them brought them back down to earth. They were no longer on vacation; it was no longer Lando's house or Ezequiel's apartment. It was no longer as easy to hide.

          Bahrain and Saudi Arabia were a resounding no. Miami was impossible to match, something that both regretted, because then Italy, Monaco and Spain did not give Lando time to breathe.

          Despite maintaining contact, the messages no longer filled that void. They also didn't need alcohol or physical contact. At least not the one they were used.

          It was difficult for them to understand that discomfort in their hearts, that absence and "sudden" feeling of loneliness. They felt alone, but they didn't need just anyone, they missed each other's warmth, their company, their simple presence.

          Giving the other one last kiss before falling asleep, and the first one in the morning. Sharing breakfast in complete calm, jostling each other for trying to brush their teeth at the same time, seeing the marks they had left on each other's skin while they ran to get dressed, finishing fixing details on the other's clothes before they went out into the street.

          They missed each other. They missed more than they thought they were capable of feeling.

           Their eighth time was after Spain. Lando was stressed about the championship, and not understanding his emotions only added more weight to his back. He thought he would have the courage to tell Ezequiel about his discomfort, perhaps ask for advice or at least be listen.

          In the end, he lived a week in such a warm silence that he preferred never to bring up such a delicate topic on the table. He preferred to remain silent, ignore the knot in his stomach that was getting bigger, to try to enjoy the company.

          He focused so much on acting normal and hiding his problems, that he didn't notice that Torres wasn't as active as always. A man who rarely sat still, who hated silence and doing nothing, was there, moving from the bed to the couch and from the couch to the bed.

          Since Lando didn't speak, he didn't either.

          They played music that superficially covered the silence, but it did not fill the emptiness they felt. The sporadic kisses, hugs and restless nights no longer had the same effect as before. It wasn't enough.

          They both had that discomfort stuck in their throats, but with a drink of their favorite alcohol, they digested it, before getting lost again in the other's touch.

481MCLARG | 14 . 01 . 2025 | CORREGIDO.

[miharaikko]

My 2024 writing round up

Thank you for the tags to @firenati0n @0npurpose @sophie1973 @clockwrkpendrxgon @kj-bee

I started writing fic this year in May and managed to put out 21 pieces, 19 oneshots and 2 multi-chapters. I would have never imagined myself as a fic writer, considering I barely knew the concept a year ago, but here we are—brain rot so active and ideas overflowing 🤷‍♀️

I’m so thankful to all the people willing to give my little stories a chance. Thank you for all the kudos, comments and overall yelling on twitter and discord. 

And thank you to my Red Umbrella gang. Since meeting y'all in June my life has significantly improved 💕 Can’t wait to see what 2025 brings us! ✨

My AO3: miharaikko My fandom: Red, White & Royal Blue Number of fics posted: 21 Number of Words posted: 91,717

Breakdown under the cut.

MAY

Pearly Gates (M, 5K)  Alex sees Henry across the dance floor and is mesmerized by his ivory skin and the pearl top he is wearing.

JUNE

Love will abide (take things in stride) (E, 15K)  Henry should be getting married tomorrow. Instead, he's at a pub, considering if he should go back to the hotel of a man he just met.

JULY

waging my wars behind my face and above my throat (M, 3K) Henry is having a bad day and Alex helps him through it (part I)

AUGUST

I was already on my way (GA, 1.1K) Henry is having a bad day and Alex helps him through it (part II)

SEPTEMBER

touch my phone (as if it’s your face) (GA, 5.3K) Alex texts the wrong number. It turns out to be the right one in the end.

just you and I (GA, 1K) Slices of life, inspired by Tom Odell's Grow Old with Me

OCTOBER

In the heart of Wales (Yng nghalon Cymru) (GA, 2.8K) Alex and Henry get lost in the heart of Wales

only thing on my grocery list (is your lips) (GA, 2.2K) Henry keeps visiting his local market and trying out new recipes, all for the sake of a cute vendor

more than a game to play (the truth is on my tongue) (E, 2.5K) Being friends with benefits shouldn't matter. But when Henry gets jealous, it starts to matter.

I was cold as a stone (but I found what I'm lookin' for) (GA, 2.6K) Henry retreats to a cabin in the woods for some peace and quiet, but he also finds something else there.

all eyes on you, my magician (all eyes on us) (GA, 3.8K) - collab with tothemoon_andsaturn Henry is a magician, but he is falling under the spell of Alex.

three words, infinite possibilities (GA, 1.8K) Alex figures out that his feelings for Henry are more than he thought.

a beagle's guide to finding love (GA, 5.7K) When David feels like henry could use a new friend, he takes the matter into his own paws.

pink silk ribbon kinky thingy (E, 7.2K) Alex finds a spool of silk ribbon which makes him feels things. Henry helps him process those feelings.

NOVEMBER

saturday night love (GA, 1.3K) A-list actor Henry decides to come out during an SNL sketch. Alex is the SNL regular who gets to kiss him during it.

DECEMBER

Spotify Wrapped - a Series of Unserious Drabbles (M, 2.7K) writings based on my 2024 Spotify Wrapped

a beautiful sight, we're happy tonight (M, 2.8K) - collab with tothemoon_andsaturn Henry takes Alex to visit Wales. The lack of snow doesn't stop Alex from transforming the day into a winter Wonderland.

but if you’re leaving, I gotta know why (M, 4K) Alex overhears a conversation between Henry and Bea and realizes there's a lot more things that he feels for his roommate.

...for so long (M, 6.2K)â Henry is tasked with baking gingerbread and he gets a helping hand from a friend

both your hands (in the holes of my sweater) (M, 6.4K) Henry and Alex lend each other certain clothes items over the years

s'mores (let me taste you some more) (E, 8.8K) Stuck in a cabin due to a storm, Alex and Henry only have marshmallows, crackers and chocolate as supplies. They make the best of it, while also tending to some old wounds.

WIPs & UPCOMING FICS

I've been yapping about these 3 since the moment they each came to mind, but with the collections I took part in, and other smaller ideas that never let my mind, I haven't been able to finish them. But my goal for 2025 is to bring these 3 babies to the world:

Red Wine and Royal Bleu Cheese - vaguely established plot, where Alex visits a winery where he meets Henry

Clay your love on me - Alex is a TikTok potter and Henry is a fan of his live videos

no title yet, but this will be my multi-chaptered Magnum Opus once I manage to write it, based on the following prompt: Friends with benefits (they share a house to split the rent) with detriments (they used to date but broke up for self-sabotaging reasons) with perks (sometimes they spend the night together. it’s fine) with troubles (one of them is moving away. it feels worse than the breakup)

And I also have an upcoming fic for the Wrap It Up exchange.

[shinyrhinestones]

A song, is what it takes.

Summary: Reader is Spencers twinsister and the team is trying to get Elle and Reader together, but Spencer doesn't know.

I lost the request but im still gonna write it. I hope its alright. Also english isn't my mother tongue, so there will probably be some mistakes.

Pairing: Elle Greenaway x Fem!reader

Genre: Fluff

Category: Oneshot.

Warnings: Kissing.

No matter what was going on, it seemed like something was drawing you and Elle together. Everytime you'd have a case, and had to be briefede you'd always seem to end up sitting next to the girl you couldnt be normal around. She's too beautiful. There was something about her, that drew you in. You had only known her for a couple of months, and still you were all over the place. Everytime you'd have to stay at a hotel while working on a case, or just finishing one, you'd be paired up with Elle.

Elle Greenaway, your colleague. Its not that you minded sharing a room with her, it just always made you stutter, hesitate and make your palms sweat just a little bit. You'd end up sitting together on the plane home. Or on the way over to where the case would take place. You two would always end up talking alot together, whenever this happened. It was like you never ran out of topics, words, themes or whatever, when you two were sat together. You two could talk together to the end of time. What you didn't notice was that when you were in a deep conversation with Elle, the rest of your coworkers would pair up and stare at you two in the background. They would whisper about you two, and their next moves. They'd smile at their small accomplishments even though you two weren't aware of your true feelings to each other yet. But that's what they were here for. To help you on the way.

Well, the only one on the team who was oblivious to the shipping of you two was Spencer. He wasn't included when the others got together to admire you two from afar. Normally you didn't really think anything of it. It was probably all just a coincidence that no matter what you were doing at work you somehow ended up talking or working with Elle somehow. The team wished to accomplish that one of you would finally ask the other out. But you never did. Then they tried to start mentioning how cute you two were, to maybe encourage you. Spencer even thought sometimes the team was mad at him or making him feel left out. For example that time where Spencer was about to sit next to you but then Derek shoved the chair away from him, giving him a knowing look. Trying to tell him why with his eyes, but Spencer didn't catch on. Instead he furrowed his eyebrows, and looked around confused. His hands in his pockets trying to understand what had just happened. He still didn't catch on when Elle came in and took the seat next to you, leaving Spencer with the chair on the other end of the table. He might've felt like the team liked you better than him. Even though the team never had a favorite. Well, maybe they had a favorite ship. Hopefully soon, a favorite couple.

There were of course some times where the team didn't have to do anything to get you two closer, or give you sweet moments. That's probably also why you fit so well together. You didn't need someone to force you together. You just needed a little reasurence.

Like that one time where you were on a case, during late fall:

You were shivering, from the cold breeze. The wind brushing your hair and shoving to the trees making their leafs rattle together. The leafs were dark brown and orange. The trees almost being dead, since winter was nearing. You tried hugging yourself and moving around to keep yourself warm. You started to regret not bringing a jacket or at least a warmer shirt, but you thought that You could handle the weather. It didn't seem that cold, when you got ready for the day. You could hear the wind swirl around your ears and the cold causing your ears and cheeks to go red. But then you saw her standing in front of you, and then your cheeks went red for a whole different reason. She was standing there with her jacket in her hands, holding it infront of her. She was looking at you with a small subtle smile and it was such a gentle caring expression she held. Her eyes studying your face for a moment before speaking up. "You seem cold" Her voice almost made your knees melt. But you couldt let yourself move. Being so close to her and having her full attention made butterflies erupt in your stomach. "I am" You answered, slowly stopping rubbing your arms. Her lips were slightly parted, her lips being a faint soft pinkish, redish color. "Here. Take my coat" She said softly. It wasn't a demand, nor was it a question. Your lips turned upward at her thoughtfulness.

"Thank you" You said, as she held out the coat for you to fully take. You took it calmly from her grip, brushing fingers as you did so. Eye contact didnt seem to be a problem betweent you two. Your eyes were glued to each other, not being able to look away, as you put it on. "Elle, Y/N!" Derek called, interrupting you and Elle. Elles head whipped around, and you walked up next to her, to see what Derek wanted. But you weren't paying attention. Your mind was still foggy from the way her eyes could shine so brightly, even if it was so gloomy outside. Oh, and the feeling her fingers quickly but softly touching yours.

Then there was the time where you were on a little vacation with Derek and Elle in Jamaica. It was night and the summer breeze was brushing against your legs, as Elle asked if you wanted to dance. There was music and that dance floor, where other couples and people were enjoying the night. You nodded at her, and she took your hands following you to the dance floor. You were both smiling at each other, and softly swaying to the sounds of the music. You could even feel the vibrations of the music under your feet. Her arms resting around your neck and yours resting around her form. Her skin was so soft, and having her touching you felt like heaven. It felt rare. Like you had to cherish this feeling and moment forever. As long as you possibly could.

Earlier that day you and Elle had played Volleyball with some guys at the beach. You had been laughing and enjoying the game together the whole time. You couldnt help but admire Elle during the whole game. You also felt a sickening feeling in the pit of your stomach, everytime one of the guys had flirted with Elle. Now you couldnt quite read if Elle was into it or not, but it still hurt. But it was like you could feel the bond between you and Elle getting stronger and closer. It's not easy to explain, it's something you feel.

But right now you were at a bar, with most of the team. Spencer had been persuaded, Hotch had agreed to go shortly, Gideon didn't go and the rest of you were quite enthusiastic. Penelope, Derek, Emily and JJ were on the dance floor. Then there was you, Spencer, Elle and Hotch sitting by a table just calmly chatting. Hotch had exused himself, getting his coat on. He had a family to go home to, so he didn't stay for that long.

While he was getting his things, Penelope had made her way over to all of you, but only with the intention of interacting with you and Elle. You were sitting next to her, leaning your head on the palm of your hand. You had placed your elbow quite close to Elle without noticing. Penelope dragged the two of you onto the little stage in the bar. Yes, she was actually making you two do karaoke. You'd have to be really brave and confident to do karaoke. Strangers gathered in a bar and amateur singers putting on a perfomance. You'd need to be secure in your singing and perfomance. Now, its not like you and Elle were bad at singing. But you could always be better. The whole time you both had been stuttering out words of rejection, and walking hesitantly. But then she shoved the microphone in your hand. "Come on, it'll be fun" She almost pleaded and gave you a small pouty look. The music had already started to play and when you looked behind Penelope you saw a bunch of people looking at you waiting for the small show to begin. Oh, right then you felt like you wanted to just run away and hide. Hide from the world, and make everyone forget about you and everything you've ever done. But then Elle sighed, and tool a hold of the microphone is shifting it lighty. Now you were both holding it, so you could both access it.

You had both started to sway to the music, trying to get comfortable. You both started singing and at first it was awkward. You weren't even looking at the audience, and your shoulders were tense. But just like music always does, it gets to you. Music can do so much to a person. Make them feel all kinds of different emotions and think a bunch of different things. It can even say things for you.

You were holding the microphone in your right hand, and Elle was holding it with her left. Since you had to hold it together to both participate as much as you could, you were close. Your bodies were so close to each other. You could almost feel her breath on your skin. You were subconsciously moving yourself closer to her, feeling the warmth of her body more and more. Elle herself felt her mind go blurry. She couldnt think straight. It was like, it was only you two in the world. In the moment. The words you were singing belonged to a sweet, soft love song. When you were singing those words to one another, looking into each others eyes getting more and more lost, you were singing words you'd longed to tell her for a long time. Words so she could understand how you feel about her. Elle even felt like her legs were going to betray her in that moment. Never had she been more infatuated with you in that moment. All of a sudden Elle understood her feelings for you completely. It all made sense. And you. You had just been waiting for a sign. A way. I think everyone knew what you were feeling for Elle, but yourself. It was complicated, really. You were aware of these feelings and emotions, but you had never actually thought: What if i asked her out? What if she was mine?

It was like you just weren't going to do anything. But in that moment, you wanted to. You wanted to try and see if maybe Elle wanted to too. Then the song ended. And everyone clapped, causing you to snap back to reality and out of the little spell you both had been under. You both smiled looking around to see the team smiling and clapping along. You had no idea, that the whole time while you and Elle were singing together, they had been gushing and whispering about you two at the table you had claimed for the night. Spencer was also clapping along, but he wasn't wearing that amusing look like the rest. He was more casual. You put the microphone back in it's place, and joining the rest of the group with Elle. Hotch had stayed, when he realized what Penelope had been doing.

"Not bad" Derek smiled, leaning on the table. "Thanks" You muttered, sitting back in your seat. You were both blushing crazily. You'd had to be absolutely blind not to be able to see it. It was so obvious. Everyone had noticed the romantic interest you two had in each other....well, all except for your brother, Spencer. You and Spencer could talk about alot of stuff together. Discussing things and topics, talking about childhood memories but you didn't really talk much about the others love life. And you definitely didn't want to talk about your interest in Elle, afraid of her finding out. "That was really cute!" Penelope commented, her voice full of excitement. Hotch decided to leave after having watched you and Elle's little moment. The others quickly made conversation again, but you and Elle were silent. Your knees brushing against the others once in a while. You couldnt think clearly. Your mind was too focused on Elle. Her long dark hair looked so elegant as it bounced around, and her chocolate brown eyes shining. She truly was captivating. You didn't even notice you'd been staring, until she turned to look at you. You made eye contact immediately. None of you looked away. You just sat there. Looking. It might've looked awkward in 3rd person, but it wasnt to either of you. You could feel the connection between you two. There was just something there. Something strong. For a moment you started to wonder if she even felt the same, or if it was just you.

But then she kissed you. All of a sudden her lips were on yours. Infront of everyone. Her lips were so soft, and feeling the warmth from her body again was something you'd never want to end. One of her hands ended up on the side of your face. You of course kissed her back. It took a few seconds to register what had just happened, but when you became aware, you immediately kissed her back. It felt so safe and secure. Your heart was beating so fast, you might've believed it would've beated all the way through your chest, like you were in a cartoon. Then you both pulled away, after some time to not only get some air but to see each others reactions. But then you looked around you to see your colleagues looking absolutely shocked but happy at the same time. Eyes wide, eyebrows raised and small smiles tugging at their lips. "Wow." JJ almost mumbled. "Argh! Finally!!" Penelope clapped her hands, and jumped in her seat. Through your whole life with your twinbrother Spencer, you had never seen him more confused before. He was absolutely shunned. Eyes wide and mouth agape. "What?" Spencer managed to say, even though he looked absolutely speechless. You bit your bottomlip to stop a smile forming on your face, and as your elbow rested on the table before you, you took your hand covered the top of your face so your eyes were hidden from the people around you. Elle snuck one of her hands into the one you held on your lap, to hold it softly but secure. "You two are so cute" JJ said sweetly to you two, so maybe you'd feel less embarrassed. You sneaked a glance over all of them and sighed. They seemed okay with the fact you were two girls. But then again that wasn't really your biggest question. The thing you wanted to know was what you and Elle were going to do now between the two of you. Go on a date and take it from there, or forget this thing? You just hoped Elle wanted the same as you. You giggled, feeling trapped. "Thank you" You said, answering JJ's recent remark. You looked at Spencer giving him a slight awkward smile. He took a breath before closing his mouth again. He looked down and then up again. "What is going on? Why do none of you seem so shocked?" Spencer questioned out of pure curiosity, pointing to you two. "Spencer, its been so obvious. We've all been pushing them together the last couple of months" Emily stated. "You have?" You then asked. Now Spencer was even more confused. How come you didn't even know? Elle didn't seemed that surprised, meaning she must've been well aware. "Yeah. Why do you think you always end up sitting together whenever we're at work or doing anything in general?" It sounded from Emily. She herself seemed surprised you hadn't noticed. "Yeah, or that one time in Jamaica. I invited both of you for a reason" Derek explained. You let out a breathy laugh. "Oh" Was all you managed. "Or today when Garcia forced you to sing" Emily mentioned. You then looked at Elle. "Why did i not know any of this?" Spencers high-pitched voice sounded. He was furrowing his eyebrows, and looking around pure baffled. You all let out a laugh, at the sound of your brother. You were sure he was happy for the both of you, but right now he just needed some answers. And you were just happy to finally have gotten closer to the girl you'd been dreaming of. Turns out that the whole time it had been the team who had been drawing you and Elle together.

--------------------------------------------------

Thank you for reading!

[froizetta]

20 Questions for fic writers!

Tagged by @ginbenci! Thank you! :)

How many works do you have on AO3?

12! All since last August

What’s your total A03 word count? 134,798

What fandoms do you write for?

So far just DCU, but I like a lot of things! I will branch out one day, when the brainrot loosens its grip.

What are your top five fics by kudos?

Padam Padam - superbat, E (7.5k)

Batman's heartbeat keeps speeding up whenever Clark is around. For instance: when Clark greets him, half-naked, on a Gotham rooftop. Or when he uses his superstrength to save a busload of schoolchildren. Or sometimes even just when he smiles. Clearly the poor man is terrified of him.

By far my most popular fic! Probably because it found it's way to tiktok (this still feels wild to me). Despite the fact that borderline crack and I wrote it in about 3 days, it has twice the number of kudos as the fic below in this list. Or perhaps it's because I took the idea from a tumblr post rather than coming up with it myself? Hmmmmm.

2. An Honest Conversation - superbat, E (60k)

“So Bruce’s longtime best friend had suddenly decided to start eye-fucking him at random. So what? Bruce was used to being the object of this kind of attention. It didn’t bother him. It was—should have been fine. The issue was that it was Clark, and Bruce had enough trouble remaining rational about him at the best of times.” or Bruce and Clark go from friends to lovers the long, long, long way round. Featuring a number of revelations, a well-meaning but nosy son (Dick) and, most prominently, two adult men being completely and utterly useless.

My first fic, and the closest one I have right now to a magnum opus! It started off as a silly oneshot and then got surprisingly angsty towards the end (although no less silly tbh, that's apparently just my whole vibe as a writer).

3. Hiding In Plain Sight - superbat, T (3.5k)

Clark Kent, reporter for the Daily Planet, is clearly just Superman wearing glasses. For some reason, no-one but Bruce can see that. There is a distinct possibility that Bruce has lost his mind.

Written for Bruce Wayne Week 2023, as are the rest on this list! Written because...well. He totally is just wearing glasses. I'll happily suspend my disbelief, but I'm still not letting it go, damn it.

4. Holding Onto A Hero - superbat, T (2.5k)

Clark squinted sleep-tired eyes and frowned. “B? Everything okay?” And then Bruce shivered. In a fraction of a second he was beside the bed, and in another he was settling a knee onto the mattress and wrapping his arms around Clark’s waist, cowled face pressed into Clark’s chest. “So,” Clark said conversationally. “I’m gonna go ahead and take that as a no.”

The prompt was cuddle pollen, and it really is just a short-n-sweet, soft, cuddly, getting together fic. Also, I got to insert a little vague allusion to neuroscience, which is always nice (although oxytocin doesn't actually work like that, the effect is sex-specific and increasing it can actually promote aggression in some- okay, okay, I'll shut up).

5. More Fun Than Counting Sheep - superbat, E (5.5k)

When Bruce can't sleep, Clark proposes an unconventional solution. (The solution is sex.)

The prompt I took was sleep-deprived Bruce. Nothing about that suggested it should be smut, and yet here we are. I wrote this because I thought it would be funny to have Clark try to seduce Bruce into sleeping (and for it to work), and honestly? I stand by that.

What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hmm none of them really. Maybe A Stitch In Spacetime (Gen, 4.5k - in which Batman meets a version of himself whose parents never died so he became a surgeon like his dad). But only because the ending is more hopeful than actively happy. Batman has still lost Jason, but he's finally trying to heal; Doctor Bruce still wants kids he doesn't have, but maybe after this that will change. (Also, unrelated but I'm really proud of the title for this one lol. I love a pun, what can I say.)

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Again, they're most all happy, but probably An Honest Conversation? Just because the finale was INCREDIBLY sappy, and there was a lot bullshit preceding it that they had to get through, which certainly made the ending cathartic to write!

Do you get hate on your fic?

Not yet! Apart from a couple of slightly iffy comments, everyone has been lovely. But then, I'm not writing anything particularly controversial lol. Hopefully the trend continues outside of genfic and superbat.

Do you write smut?

Yes, a lot lol, nearly half of my fics are E-rated. Look, if I write a romance in which the pairing solves some kind of relationship issue and grow closer as a result, some part of my brain is always gonna be thinking, "Hm. What if they banged about it?" Also, I love a sex comedy, so there's that too.

Do you write crossovers?

No. I don't think I'm into any fandoms right now that I would WANT to cross over tbh. I've read my fair share, though!

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of?

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I know of!

Have you ever co-written a fic?

No, but I'd theoretically be open to it! I think it would be tricky in practise though, unless you an your co-writer are really on the same wavelength. Even writers I really like don't necessarily write in the same style as me, so that could create difficulties.

What‘s your all-time favourite ship?

I mean. Superbat right now for sure. I'm usually a multishipper, but for whatever reason they have a death grip on me. I'm still basically an omnivore though!

What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Hmm, this feels like a very defeatist question since I do plan to finish everything I start. Probably the fic I started writing for a friend's birthday based on a premise we discussed nearly a decade ago. It's a wholesome romance between two of the sidest side characters in Haikyuu!! (Tanaka Saeko and Tsukiyama Akiteru, for the curious; they do interact, but barely), because my friend was there with her Charlie Kelly conspiracy board saying, "They're both in uni! They're in the same prefecture! They knew each other in high school! They're both older siblings of main characters on the same team, so they can go watch the matches together! There's so much to work with!!!" This has apparently been her lowkey white whale ever since, but she's never managed to write it, so I offered to have a go. Tragically, them being SUCH side characters means I have to all but invent a personality for one of them, which makes figuring out their dynamic a lot harder lol. But I still want to finish it one day, for her sake!

What’s your writing strengths?

Comedy I think, specifically deriving humour from awkward situations (that I have made up) - and often it's the quiet chuckle kind rather than the knee-slapping kind. But YMMV on whether anything I write is actually funny! I can only hope :')

What’s your writing weakness?

Well, I have lots of things I don't feel good enough to write (e.g. long, dramatic epics that I can't fill with jokes), but I mostly haven't wanted to try so I wouldn't say that's a weakness per se. And I have plenty of little things I feel like I need to work on, but none are an easy-to-identify kryptonite-style Weakness. Probably flow and pacing, as it's something I'm very particular about (especially for comedy, where imo it needs to be correct for it to work) but it doesn't always come naturally to me. I do a lot of rounds of editing trying to tweak things so they flow right. Hopefully that will come easier with experience! I'd be fascinated to know what other people thought my weakness was, though; it's often hard to judge yourself, since you're the audience you're writing for.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

In what sense? As in, for example, writing a French-speaking character in French in an otherwise English-language fic? I think that's appropriate when the POV character doesn't speak French, but perhaps can be avoided if they do, as then the average reader is understanding as much as the POV character is.

As to whether I personally would do it, I only really speak one non-English language at a decent level, and even then it's hard to convey nuance in any language you're not fully fluent in. So only sparsely, only if necessary, probably only if I could get a native speaker to check it.

First fandom you wrote for?

I think it was Free!, the anime about the swimmer boys. Back when I was a teenager in school, probably ~16, I anonymously posted a gen crackfic on the LJ kink meme based on an experience I had with some schoolfriends, where a few of us tried to give a less birds-and-the-bees version of The Talk to a sadly uneducated member of the group during a camping trip. (Our school did actually give proper sex education, with the putting expired condoms on dildos and everything, but didn't go into the specifics of, say, doggy style). ANYWAY, that was the only thing I'd ever posted until this year, but apparently my proclivity for writing sex-related comedy has remained unchanged lol.

Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

Man I don't know. I just did a similar tag thingy that asked this, and I wasn't sure then, and it feels boring to put the same answer twice? So I'll pick another that's my favourite for a different reason: Master of All Trades (Bruce & Hal, T, 4.5k). I think of all my fics, it has the highest ratio of good to not-that-deep, if that makes sense? Writing Hal's POV was incredibly fun, and I think it turned out really well! And it's definitely one of the few I can reread without cringing lol (reading your own writing after posting it is just embarrassing somehow).

Tagging: I nominate @burins and @unbreakabledawn, but literally 0 pressure at all!

[yallemagne]

We be out here.

Okay so, I was away for the weekend on a little vacation. It was presented to me as a beach vacation where we'd be doing a DnD oneshot. And then we got there and it turns out the rest of the group perceived it as a DnD trip where "eh, fuck the beach actually". We did fortunately go to the beach, I got to return to my home the ocean. And then I was buried in a deep hole. I got out obv.

For the oneshot, it was posed as we were attending the Hero Olympics. That was a front. The House of Heroes was actually a House of Horrors. What did I play? Well, for context, I don't do DnD. This is the second time I have done it ever. After my friend mentioned cowboys in conversation, I decided to play Quincey Morris. One of the requirements was to give your PC's greatest fear and greatest motivation. Quincey's fear? Bats (they ate his damn horse). Quincey's motivation? Friendship (the state motto of Texas). Fortunately and unfortunately I killed it on all the wisdom saving throws so we didn't get Quincey under the influence of fear toxin. Which is sad bc the DM actually thanked me for giving him such a funny fear.

Anyhow, the game had overall more faults than strengths, but the thing is that my friend was also playing a cowboy >:))) so Quincey was of course drawn to him, and we had a little bit of role play. The DM was intrigued and put us in a room together. There were two small beds and Quincey had the idea to stack them on top of each other to make bunk beds. When we told the DM, she asked us to roll to see if we were successful. For context, we gave Quincey a proficiency in woodworking bc I figured he'd be good at whittling, so I was asked to roll with advantage.

DON'T EVEN MATTER BC WE BOTH ROLLED NAT 20S!!

(I had the purple dice and was briefly confused by the symbol when my friend said "that's a nat 20" and the table went absolutely wild)

So, impossibly, we were able to take this very sparsely decorated room and make a perfect bunk bed adorned with those fancy bed curtains and fairy lights, it was amazing. We also built a table somehow, and as we kept passing our wisdom saving throws, we just played a game of cards.

The doors were locked and so we both decided to shoot at it. Quincey lacks proficiency with his gun, so I rolled a 4-1=3. Shrugged it off and said "eh, that is what usually happens" and the table laughed :))).

But after that point, all I really got to do was shoot once at an enemy (a skin bat). I got a nat 20 again. But I didn't kill the bat, so dang. And then combat ended and a member of the group straight up left to take his gf on a date so we couldn't continue ijoergjp literally what the hell.

Next day we went to a Medieval Torture Museum and I was with another friend, different friend, and they said that as we went further down the hall, the torture devices probably got worse. I mused that "I just hope they don't have the Judas Cradle". And we turn around and what is behind us? A display of the Judas Cradle. It was a magical moment. Lost our damn minds.

Then we got done, I found friend who also played a cowboy, we went into a steampunk store and I got a BAT!!

And a bowtie and my friend got me a vampire pin. And that was the highlight of the day, we could have just left immediately after, but we unfortunately stayed for too long, it grew painful, we finally went home, ditching the rest of the vacation group.

It was overall a bad trip. I got overwhelmed and pissed way more often than I had fun, the cons outnumber the pros. There were too many people and too many of those people I found I positively disliked. But I can just choose to linger more on the good things, to place the few moments of joy higher than the several moments of GRAGHHAAAA. One of the highlights of the trip was when we (me, cowboy friend, torture museum friend, and a quiet acquaintance) went to the fucking grocery store on the first day for groceries. We were on vacation and one of my favourite parts was literally a chore because I was doing the chore with people I liked.

That's some old people shit, I'm old now ojpier.

[pinkytoothlesso11]

20 questions for fic writers

I was tagged by @niemalsetwas! Thank you! This is a long one, but very interesting well rounded questions for fic writers. I'll tag: @whitherwanderyouspirit, @toodrasticallydumb, @nickelwick, @bluedaddysgirl, @megan0013 and @rosemaidenvixen. Not obligated to do this, just thought it may be fun!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Currently 16! 13 of which are all Trollhunters lmao.

2. What's your total A03 word count?

542,419 words. Wow. That's a little crazy ngl.

3. What fandom's do you write for?

Mostly Trollhunters/Tales of arcadia. But I've written a oneshot for She-Ra and the Princesses of Power and one for Scrooge: A Christmas Carol (2022). And I've done a multichapter fic for Arcane: League of Legends. Probably going to do more fics for that eventually. And I have two planned for The owl house I'm really excited about!

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Challenging Destiny

Heal what has been lost

A change in a moment

Heart of Stone

After the moon rises

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! In my first fic I was hesitant to the first couple of chapters, but now I make a effort as I know how awesome it is to get a reply from the author on fics I've left comments on myself. And also because sometimes I have wonderful conversations!

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

This is a bit hard to pin down, because while a decent amount of my fics go really, really angsty, they tend to end on a slightly hopeful note. But I'd think it's either Through the Veil which while the actual end is rather uplifting, it's overshadowed by the torment all the characters have gone through or chapter 4 of my prompt collection for Stricklake month: corruption. Which is... Sad.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Hmm well my main fics are not finished so I can't put any of them down... Er most of them end happily? I guess for the top one A change in a moment, since I also barely killed any characters in the end...

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No. Very thankfully.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Anything explicit? No. I've tentively suggested it, but not in any detail.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I have not yet. One of my aforementioned Owl house fics I have planned will be a crossover, with Trollhunters, but nothing crazy.

Unless we're talking about the Arcane/Disney Tangled crossover, but that's a soft crossover, with a wholly Arcane cast of characters.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope. At least not that I'm aware of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Again, not to my knowledge.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No... It was going to happen at some point, but then it didn't. Which was fair, even if disappointing.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

It's Stricklake. I have loads more I like a lot, but that's the one that made me start writing fanfiction.

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

This isn't really applicable, I plan to finish every fic I start, but there's one that's taking longer than I like to complete, which is Heart of Stone. It's close to the finish line, I just need to push myself there.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I like to think I'm pretty good at creating snappy dialogue with plenty of banter. And that my worldbuilding is pretty damn good. Also that I'm able to consistently keep a large cast of characters IN character and balance them all. I'm also fairly good at descriptions and gore.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I think sometimes I struggle with pacing, and the flow of my writing can be clunky at times. I also find filler chapters less interesting to write, even if they're important to set later things up.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I do end up doing this at one point or another in most of my fics! I use Google translate lol. I'm not ashamed. I also use italics if it's not English, with the translation in my notes at the end.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Trollhunters! The first show to get me into fandom, and fanfic and tumblr! It was the first in a lot of things.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Has to be Challenging Destiny! It's just about halfway, but the reception to it and it's faithfulness to the source, as well as the heaps of research and worldbuilding I've put into it has made it the fic I'm the most proud of. It's got a big cast of different characters to balance, which just adds to the challenge lol. But it's worth it.

[nicegaai]

stuck on writing again. im gonna talk myself thru it in text post form

okay if i dont wrap this oneshot up before my brain completely burns out editing it i will lose my mind

naturally theres buildup to sex and then i really just do not want to write it. i can fade to black or otherwise gloss over it, sure. whatever. but then i have to write something AFTER IT and i also dont know what to do with that.

like i have a little bit im working on ...... as much as i dont want it to feel abrupt i just want it to be OVERRRR . i dont want to wrap up anything, i dont want to think about this. the dramatic spoiled artist in my brain is throwing a tantrum. It's Whatever. this isnt my magnum opus, its just me trying to exorcise myself of the ince/st kink demon again . it never works and i feel real weird about it. like am i propagandizing atp? im scared im passing this kink onto others accidentally. sorry im like this. nobody look at me. anyway

i dont want this to be Good as much as i want it to be Done <- lying

i could try to cut it off early . but oh my god if i ended it as soon as they start making out thats weird, i dont like that flow. if i cut it as soon as theyre in bed together thats ... tht only works if its a fade to black and then we come back afterwards right? wouldnt it be strange to have 5k words of buildup, then they kiss and it fades to black, and then thats it?

reading that, i might feel cheated. but my god i do not want to write another bj i dont want to write them actually doing it. i would NEVER get around to finishing that. like i said. i am so close to burnout i need to figure out how to end this quick. i wanna do it TONIGHTTTT.

and i think i do need to add more. i guess the morning after?

ughhhgh sghdhgshgshdskgks dgshkld gsd hsd js dsdkskfhsdkjfs dksjkhdf ksjhdfks jdhfksj dfksjdhfkjshdfkjshdf

ok ok .

because, i do want to play with the fallout a little. i have ideas. but i am also so so tired. of this i mean. (the fallout is ofc that they fuck again. which i also won't write.)

ok current game plan.

i go back into the document. i have an hr n a half. i write up a short aftersex interaction and end it whenever it feels right. do NOT make it long enough to let them leave the room. it is a SHORT conversation. then i go back and finalize the fadeout sex.

at this point i probably will have to leave (friday niteee bb) (i am a very slow writer) but when i get back i can go over the highlighted text ive marked to edit / research / etc... clean it up quickly. then do the ao3 format stuff i suppose !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! add tags summary etc.

....yeah ! yeah i guess.

writing fanfic is all about learning who u are as a writer i think. id like to move on to personal projects someday yk... first thing ive learned: do not let urself edit the same 15 pages on an eternal ocd loop: u will explode and die before u get to the actual end

anyway after this i promise to write all that cousin sex. somehow i have never lost interest in that au. having friends to talk ab ur au with always makes them more fun

[novelmonger]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💗

-@rainintheevening

I've answered this once already, so I guess this will be my second-tier choices ;)

Not Done with You (Captain America oneshot) - Steve has an encounter with God, due in part to a conversation with Louie Zamperini (historical figure of Unbroken fame). Later, Steve's witness leads Bucky to find salvation as well. I've always daydreamed about my favorite characters becoming Christians, but this was the first one I ever wrote out in this kind of detail, where the way it happens is actually believable and not rushed (in my humble opinion). I like to say that Steve and Bucky were already halfway there anyway, they just needed a little push.

All We've Got to the End of the Line (Captain America/FMA oneshot) - Steve and Bucky are alchemists who have given up parts of their bodies in a botched attempt to resurrect Steve's mother. Ed is a supersoldier desperately trying to get his brainwashed little brother Al to remember him. Basically just a shameless self-indulgent excuse to smush my two all-time favorite bromances together, making them take each other's place and say each other's heart-wrenching lines.

Everything I Touch (FMA oneshot) - AU where Amestris and Drachma went to war, and Ed and Mustang were among the soldiers sent to the front lines, leaving Al and Hawkeye Mrs. Mustang behind (because Al is recovering from getting his body back and Mrs. Mustang is pregnant). This oneshot is about Mustang dealing with PTSD upon his return, and how that affects his home life. I still think I did a decent job of conveying what I wanted to, which I'm especially proud of because this was one of my first experimentations with second-person POV.

The Flame (FMA chapterfic) - Modern-day AU where Mustang is a firefighter who gets an eye injury and is stuck in the hospital for a while, where he meets Ed, a young wheelchair-bound boy who lost an arm and a leg in a terrible fire that killed his mother and brother. Mustang starts telling Ed a story he makes up on the fly, the epic tale of the Full Metal Alchemist. This fic's plot was inspired by my favorite movie of all time, The Fall (an idea that came to me because one of the main characters in the movie is named Roy). It's not exactly a recent work, but I still quietly geek out to myself when I think of how perfectly these two stories mesh together.

Honey, I've Been There (Captain America oneshot) - Set in my AU where Bucky reunites with Steve shortly after TWS, and Steve and Sharon get married and have two kids. This fic focuses on their daughter Juliet, whom Bucky utterly adores and dotes on like she hung the moon and stars. I just love imagining big, tough, brooding Bucky with the metal arm and all his scars and trauma just lighting up over this sweet, innocent girl full to the brim with love. Also, the whole thing was inspired by a beautiful song by one of my favorite artists, so now every time I listen to it, I get to think about this lovely little headcanon.

[comfortlesshurt]

September 2024 Stats Update

Here we are again! Hit my big goal this month, but this is the first I'm getting a chance to look at much of anything else that's changed since the end of August.

Discussion of AO3/FFN stats under the cut. You can block #stats update if seeing these posts once a month will bug you!

Main goal: VLD word count greater than Spider-Man. Current progress: 51,386/100,258 (51.25%) Note on this one: now that I'm editing older fics, SM word count may change a little bit. I've only gotten WORDIER since I wrote those fics, so I expect a slight increase for every fic I finished editing. That's also where a little bit of the bump to VLD came from, but most of it is actual new fics.

We are actively in the experimental phase now, but this is a single-blind study so those will stay a secret until I'm done.

Time Period: September 2nd, 2024 to September 30th, 2024

AO3

I got that quarter of a million total hits I've been aiming for! Very exciting stuff. My next big milestones are 300k hits, 2k bookmarks, and 200k total published words.

Published word count delta: +3,134 across two new works and zero existing works

Work subscriptions delta: +1

New hits: 2,311

New kudos: 149

Comments delta: +6

Works bookmarks delta: +26

User subscriptions delta: +1 (maybe they forgave me for not spam-updating Augusnippets this month)

FFN

This site was extra frustrating this month since the spam AI art bots finally found me, but I stayed strong and did NOT delete my FFN. Might be turning off messaging over there soon though...

User favs delta: 0

User alerts delta: +1

Published word count delta: +3,154

New profile views: 15

New reviews: 0

New story views: 662

C2 delta: 0

Story favs delta: +7

Story alerts delta: +2

Single-Point AO3 Data: September 30th, 2024

Newer Fic Achievements

Not much new this month! I was lost in the sauce with LTS(LTFH) which is nowhere near being posted, but I did get a couple more oneshots up.

What are you wondering? (What do you know?): top 10% comment conversion & #1 for bookmark conversion

On it, yes, indeed (on it, watch me bleed): top 10% comment conversion & bookmark conversion

Nowhere to call home (so I'll pack and run away): #2 for comments, top 10% for subs conversion & #1 for comment conversion

Older Fic Achievement

5 Times Peter Struggled with Spider Metabolism: special shoutout for (despite being published for over 6 years now) being in the top 10% for hits/day and kudos/day. I'm pretty sure someone put this on a rec list again recently because it seems like it's been popular lately.

Top 10% by...

Comments:

5 Times Peter Struggled with Spider Metabolism

Nowhere to call home (so I'll pack and run away)

5 Times Lance Doesn't Matter

Whump Bingo

We are the reckless (we are the wild youth)

Smiling 'cause you're used to it (a house that's always haunted)

Again, not many changes to the top 10%s this month, BUT my published fic count went up, so the top 10% is now 6 items instead of 5. Also again, it hasn't been long enough since the last all-time stats review, but that should hopefully have some changes by the end of October.

And that's all I've got for this month. Really, the most exciting thing at this point is getting those experiments started.