#and also I know this would make 15 year olds argue w me and i hate that and dontt wanna deal w that today

[serendipitous-mage]

Commissions~

*Hello! I'm currently between jobs and actively looking, but no luck yet. The household is pretty hard up on funds right now and any additional income would be so very very helpful, especially with student loan repayments kicking in this month ;w;

*Regardless of the type of commission, I will gladly work with you throughout it and give updates/the opportunity to make adjustments if you would like! 

Drawn

*The examples below range from about $4-$40 USD, ordered most to least expensive, all are based on complexity and time to complete. Prices are open to negotiate prior commitment, and can be made in multiple payments if needed! (some examples are a bit old)

*Anything that’s a meme or I highly enjoy the concept of doing is up for a potential discount :3

*If you’re interested, feel free to message me here or send me an email at serenmage87@gmail.com (anon asks are also enabled)

*Trigger Warning: One example has light gore/blood

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TRADITIONAL

~approx $35-$40 USD

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~approx $15-20 USD

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~approx $5-10 USD

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DIGITAL

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~approx $20-30 USD

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*approx $15-20 USD

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*approx $4-10 USD

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*NOTES -

*I can do lineless digital, but I’m not as practiced with it

*Traditional commissions will be scanned(or potentially sent in actual mail) for optimal quality. More colours/subjects will cost more

*Digital drawing is all around easier for me, and in general will be cheaper than an ‘identical’ traditional version would be

*As mentioned above, anything that’s a meme or I highly enjoy the concept of doing is up for a potential discount, more fun means its less taxing which means i can drop the price a little <3

*Will Draw:

    -OCs

    -AU characters

    -Animals/fursonas/anthro

    -Mecha

    -NSFW

    -Rough/simple animations and gifs (we can talk..)

*Won’t Draw anything:

    -Explicit underage

    -Discriminatory

    -Taking place in hospitals/based around illness

*You can view more of my drawings at my DA Gallery or, for less polished but more religiously updated posts, here

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Written

*I always read a lot in school, and over the years that turned into writing stories. I have a few fanfics running currently, but any commissions would be given priority

*Thinking $5 per 500 words? May adjust depending on complexity/any needed research/longer pieces

*I’ve found I write best with fantasy genres, but you can absolutely commission something else! Some things you may want to consider:

    -Is it original or fandom based?

    -What point of view do you want? First, second(reader inserts), or third person?

    -Past or present tense?

    -Old timey speech or modern feel?

    -Fluff, feels, something in between?

    -Where are you in the spectrum of “can you relay enough information about what you want that I won’t need to overly interpret/fill in gaps myself” and “do you have an end goal or outline, and want me to make the rest happen” ? In other words, how much of this do you already know you want, and what if anything are you willing to let me interpret as the writer?

*Some excerpts:

First person

    The brambles and lower branches suddenly appeared much denser than when we’d come from the other direction, and I kept as much distance from the two of them as I could. Their incessant arguing was still discernible, but not overly so.

    We took our new torches–which seemed a little brighter than they should have been–and set off continuing our search for tracks, holding the fire as close as we dared to any brush and leaves that were near the forest floor. The quiet pulsing of the place at night was almost unnerving, and much different from our campout the evening before. Unseen critters chirped to a rhythm we outsiders weren’t aware of, falling silent if we at any point passed too close to them.

  The eerie limbo was broken when I suddenly noticed a light coming toward us, followed quickly by Dagger who swooped low and squawked into my ear.

    I batted him away and asked Dex if the light was Sara, but felt I already knew the answer.

    “No,” he confirmed, squinting at it in suspicion.

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    “Clariiisaaaaaa!” Sara shouted again, her voice tumbling across the vague grassy mounds that just barely made the classification of ‘hills’. “Clarissa!“

   “Quiet down,” I finally warned her. “There’s more on the prowl after nightfall.”

    She spun around to glare at me. “You say that like I don’t know. It doesn’t matter we have to find them.”

    “We’re not going to find anyone if we’re dead.” I countered.

    “Well what if they’re dead!?” she shouted.

    I was a little taken aback at the sudden outburst, almost snapping at her in turn but pausing at what looked like a faint shimmer in her eye.

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    It began to rain soon after we entered the wood. Drops fell in a constant, distant thrum on the leaves above, and it wasn’t long before a chill settled in around the trees. Heavy dampness filled the air as the rain increased, making its way below the canopy to turn patches of the ground to a sticky mush. I’d hastened my pace twice already, and the rain still continued to thicken. Mini waterfalls poured down here and there where the foliage had positioned itself just so, and the aftermath was sent streaming between roots and stone along my path. I gave up trying to keep my boots dry and went as quickly as I dared, careful with my step to avoid sprawling in the dirt.

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Reader Insert

   There’s a soft *ping* and your body is suddenly overwhelmingly heavy, but luckily something else is holding your weight. You feel yourself rise a little into the air before being pulled forward, through the screen, through the words, through the space between, through the Barrier…

   Into the Underground.

   You notice you’re staring the ceiling. But not just any ceiling, New Home’s. And there are two faces looking down at you.

   "ARE THEY OKAY??”

   "they’ll be fine. just–“

   "SANS,” he warns.

   "a little down.“

   "NNNNGH!! SANS YO–! HUH?” Papyrus turns to look back at you, as you’re practically dying of laughter on the floor. 

 You’re here! Actually here! They are talking and joking and breathing right in front of you…the skelebros, in the flesh heheh.

   You tilt your head so you can Sans, tears in your eyes as you have a little difficulty breathing. He raises an eyeridge and grins a bit more than usual.

 "it wasn’t that good of a joke…i like ‘em.“ he says lastly to Papyrus.

   The younger brother mumbles something and reaches down to help you to your feet. Though they always seemed small, especially when younger, the monsters are around the same height as you. You wonder aloud how tall the king and queen must be.

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   You freeze at the deep, rumbling voice approaching. Solid footfalls sound closer and closer still, and you find your gaze drawn to the large figure coming down the hall. You’re overwhelmed with the details. The apparent thick softness of fur, curved smooth horns threatening to reach the ceiling, and impossibly violet robe that drifted behind his gait.

   "Oh, Howdy! Boys you should have told us you had, a…guest,” he stops, sudden distress plainly visible in his expression.

   Your blood runs cold as you realize, you must remind him of them. He thinks you’re–

  Chara?“ he falls heavily to his knees, tears streaming around his muzzle. His eyes search you over, filled with guilt, hope, disbelief, so many different emotions almost simultaneously. Papyrus runs up and tries to comfort him. 

   You lower your eyes and faintly shake your head, saying you’re sorry but, you’re not them.

   The haze that you and the skeletons hadn’t noticed before returns to his expression. He squeezes his eyes closed and inhales deeply before looking back at you again. 

   "I, forgive me … what is your name?”

   You find it a little difficult to speak, but manage to give him your name.

   He smiles. “It is very nice to meet you.“ 

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 Third Person

    “Oh, oh dear.” Alphys was staring at the base of the chalkboard with a frown. “Has anyone seen the chalk?” She held up the stub end of one. It had an odd jaggedness on one side. “This is all that’s here…I’m certain there was still have a box left,”

    No one answered, and Frisk certainly didn’t know, so they kept quiet as well. 

    The class crawled by about how one would expect it to. No one seemed particular enthralled by Alphys’ teaching, except for the girl in the front row. The bird Frisk was behind was ‘too smart’ to pay much attention, unless there was a point he wanted to argue. MK had a bit of a short attention span, and Temmie as well, but she seemed to be trying very hard. Probably wanted to get into a good college.

    At some point in the lecture, Frisk stopped taking notes and looked through the pad of paper that had been in their desk. It had haphazard quotes and diagrams, some dated and some not, with some days considerably more organized and thoughtful than others. Frisk turned to the back and flipped the book around, making a new beginning to it. They started penning all their observations. Differences and similarities, people that they’d recognized, and every explanation they could think of that might be true of whatever had happened to them. 

    There wasn’t much in that column. 

  Before long a semi distant bell sounded, and Alphys released everyone for lunch. 

    “Is ours broken?” Frisk wondered aloud.

   "Yo, you don’t remember?“ MK asked. “Susie totally busted the speakers last week! They still haven’t been able to fix it yet.” MK cocked their head. “Yo, Kris, you okay dude?”

    “Fine,” Frisk answered briskly. “I um, I gotta talk to Alphy.”

    MK raised an eyebrow and gave a tiny nod. “Uh, OK, sure…see ya.” They trotted off after the others to what Frisk assumed would be the cafeteria somewhere. 

    Frisk stayed in their seat a moment, wondering if this was really the best idea. Alphys didn’t seem to recognize Frisk as themselves either. And if they told her everything…they carefully closed the notebook and flipped it back the other way, then made their way to Alphys’ desk. 

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        The boy’s dark, messy hair completely shrouded his face from view at his stance. He stood behind one of the chairs, his head slightly bowed, gripping the back of the furniture as though it were his only lifeline to reality. The elder prince closed the gap between them with a few strides and put a hand on the boy’s shoulder.

       “I…“ he trailed off, suddenly realizing he had no idea how he could begin to comfort him. “I am not sure, what to say–”

       “There is nothing to be said.” the boy interrupted, his words strained. He didn’t look up. “If I had not been born, you would all have rest now, to live normally upon the morn. Mother would really smile again. No one wou–”

        “It is not your fault, brother.” The eldest countered firmly. “You know the rules…If not you, then someone else, it has naught to do with you yourself. We all were chanced to be a part of it as equally as any other. This was none of your doing.”

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    A certain heavy, comforting quiet hung in the air. Stillness that was enhanced by the soft hum and crackle of the flames. Sans and Papyrus had both fallen asleep before the fireplace amid the excitement, much like the first day they had arrived. Toriel had woken early, along with her husband, and was now reading in her armchair.

     There was a knock at the door.

    Papyrus sat up quickly, eyesockets half closed. “WH-HUH..?” he looked up at Tori, who’s eyes were crinkled in quiet laughter, and suddenly realized who the knock must be. A tiny gasp escaped him and vaulted off Sans, to mild protest, running down the hall toward the door. He tried stopping but had too much speed and slid past his mark, scrambling to get back to where he’d tried for. Papy gave a little jump and pulled the handle down, staring up in awe. 

    “Ho ho howdy little one!” Santa laughed heartily, fully dressed in his red and white outfit and with an old sturdy sack over one shoulder.

    Papyrus’ eyesockets were practically sparkling. “S-SANTA! SANS!! SANTA HERE!!” he ran forward and grabbed Santa’s large leg, hugging him tight.

   “wow. sure has a presents.” Sans offered, coming around the corner. He gave a stretch popped a few bones. “snow real surprise, though.”

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Thank you for considering and looking over the page this far! Feel free to contact with any questions, and stay determined <3

[wroteonedad]

Is Juergen Teller's W Magazine Shoot Art?

I was lucky enough to get accepted into an arts university 5 years ago. To this day I still couldn't tell you why except for me and the lecturer talking about Kate Bush for a solid 15 minutes. And despite it nearly being two years since I graduated from university, I still haven't done anything much with said degree. I've done one live gig, made two montages and I've only just finally felt inspired enough to perhaps start a new project. Even that is exhausting considering that I have a full time job and most time I spend away from work is me sitting here and writing up whatever content I can come up with for my blog. Back onto my main point though, back in university I got to come across some amazing photographers and artists that my lecturers would tell me would flow with my work perfectly. Sometimes they did, but whoever told me about Juergen Teller,,, I wish they didn't. He's one of those artists that I forgot about for a good couple of years, until I logged onto Twitter three days ago and saw a Tweet of someone reminding me of *that* Juergen Teller shoot for W magazine. As soon as I was reminded of those images I wanted to shut off my phone and never turn it on again. So this week we are going to discuss, if the photoshoot is art or plain lazy.

Let's go back and discuss Juergen Teller pre W Magazine shoot. Teller is a German fine art and fashion photographer. You think of the first celebrity that comes to mind and Teller has probably done a photoshoot with them at some point. He moved from Germany to London all the way back in 1986 and has been actively building his career from that moment. He specialises in 'minimal' images when it comes to his portraits of celebrities and models over the years, many which are. What makes him different to other commercial photographers is that he refuses to tailor his work to the clients wants and needs, because he has his own established style and know what works for him. While many of his works, especially his older works, are mesmerising and captivating, I also feel as though Teller has been stuck in this safe space for years, never crafting anything that steps out of what he knows in case it doesn't get the reaction he wants.

I liked his old work. Hand on heart, I will admit it. I was a big fan of how personal the images looked, kind of like I was going through a family photobook of somebody I don't know. I liked how lowkey the images were, never big studio images. Always homely environments, a bedroom, a garden. Sometimes it felt as if Teller was trying to make the person he was shooting appear on the page as a middle class person. Ordinary folk, like you and me. These images were not airbrushed, the way in which you'd see famous models grace the cover of Vogue magazine. You could see blemishes, bags under the eyes. I respected that because I really think it takes balls for a photographer to not only take images of these in the first place, but then to publish them like that and refuse to edit it the way in which you would like to look.

In more recent years, Teller almost gave up photography. He realised that the world is suddenly 'flooded' with photographs, that it's so easy to take an image. When he first began his career, there weren't so many people making images. It was something that felt like an art and only some people had the ability to capture that. It all stems to the debate of artists and their love hate relationship for platforms such as Instagram. Teller hates phone photography and Instagram so much that it was the concept of social media and people not caring about these images that made him want to stop. Perhaps it can be argued that the photoshoot for W Magazine feels like a mockery, a big fuck you to people who rely on mobile phones to take their own images, or images of other people.

The photoshoot for the magazine feels humbling for all the celebrities who partook. A random street in the middle of Los Angeles, a place that always looks rich and glamorous, especially when we think of the celebrity culture over there. This shoot was a car, a tree and a street with a dream.

The controversy from the public was how baffled they were from how simple this photoshoot was. No special lighting, no post editing, just images that look like something my mum would take. Even Riz Ahmed claimed that his shoot with Teller lasted for 20 seconds. Two images and his work was done. Perhaps it really is in order for us to look at the image of the celebrity and remind ourselves that they're just like us. The images scream anti-celebrity in the way that every image subverts the types of images you usually see of a famous person. Whether they're magazine shoots or even Instagram images, their posts always feel airbrushed and glamorous, a type of beauty standard that most feel as though they could never tend to. Perhaps that is truly what makes this photoshoot so memorable, because most of these famous people look dumb in this silly rundown place with no glamour around then aside from perhaps their outfit (not James Corden though).

However if you think these images are artistic and out of the box then, well that's your opinion. I can't see why you would take anyone, let alone a celebrity out into a dirty city street and have them sit on discarded fold up chairs on the side of the road or let them sit on the floor next to a pile of someone else's litter. No matter how much I look at this collection of images, I can't view it in any form of art form. Not even anti-art and the whole collection of images do nothing for me. I'm not saying that he's a bad artist because there are many of his older images that I really love, but the flair was not there for this entire magazine shoot. It feels as though it was made to make some headlines and make a name relevant again; whether that is Teller's name or some of the famous people included in this shoot, you decide. And truthfully, I am sick of critiques defending the entire photoshoot. Mark Grobe wrote an entire article about how he thinks if the person doesn't get the W magazine shoot, then it means that Instagram rotted their brain. In his essay he states 'It's a tough pill to swallow but people love the feeling evoked by a Juergen Teller-esque image – until it's shot by Juergen Teller, as evidenced by the meme.' (the following meme is below)

'The informal and "iPhone style" aesthetic is so of the moment that it's tricky to recognize as warranting artistic merit, and it's possible that Teller is a victim of his audience who, growing up on social media, see amateur-style photography as something that needs to be purged from the camera reel, and not published in a fashion magazine.' However I have to disagree, not understanding the photoshoot has nothing to do with social media rotting your brain, or having access to taking a photo wherever you are whenever, it is just the way that people connect with each other of the Internet. I feel like a veteran when I say I've had my Twitter account for 11 years, but the best times I've seen people connect with one another is when they are simply taking the piss out of something, whether it's as insignificant as a photoshoot or the rumours of World War 3 back in 2020. People bond and people love over being able to share silly jokes, it never means the actual meaning of something has gone over anybody's heads and its silly to even make an assumption like that.

Maybe you think these images are amazing, that's fine. Maybe you also hate them and can't see what it is about them that makes them a form of fine art. Anyone who knows anything about the field of fine art will always at some point make a piece of art that doesn't really make sense to anyone except for them. The only memorable part of this photoshoot were the memes that exploded on Twitter after it and I think that's perfectly reasonable too.

This was still the best meme out of all of the ones I saw online though.

[symptoms-syndrome]

What is your opinion on the movie Split, if you have seen it, with regards to how it depicts DID? Because like I feel like someone with DID would be offended but at the same time don’t KNOW whether they actually would be? Like when I see anti-asexual or anti-Irish sentiment and think “Hmm. Well that is certainly offensive from an objective viewpoint, but am I personally offended?” I do feel like if the twist behind the ‘Beast’ alter being superhuman was that he had been bitten by a werewolf, because there were so many hints towards him being a werewolf and the whole backstory they gave the protagonist about being a hunter, I feel like it would have suited the story better and avoided the ‘all people with DID are evil’ trope. Am I saying this right?

I honestly don't give a shit about it's depiction of DID if I'm being 100% honest. It didn't bring anything new to the table or introduce anything that hasn't been said or in the public consciousnesses. While I definitely don't think depictions like that do anything good for DID, I don't think they have the same level of impact that people act like they do.

I can't imagine any scenario in which someone would watch a movie like Split and think "yeah that's probably how DID works," like if I disclosed my diagnosis to someone and they thought I could climb up walls or whatever that would give me more concerns than "wow that's an offensive idea of DID."

Counter to that, I personally find some depictions of DID made by people with DID (or supposedly with DID) more offensive than Split. Things like TikTok or YouTube videos where alters are all super defined, switches are clear, all the parts are fun and cute and it's just presented as "LOL fun people in my head! Watch different alters react to flaming hot Cheetos!" Or "informational" posts about "how to react to someone with DID" that say things like "ask who's fronting! Don't act entitled to niceness from all alters! Give stuffies to littles!" are for me, far more offensive mostly due to them being more, IDK, realistic? Or grounded or believable. Like someone is more likely to believe I want to be greeted by part name all the time than they are to believe I have an alter that can bend steel bars. Maybe that's that person's experience, but they're often framed more as a "universal" experience with DID, which is worse than smth like Split, or even smth like that documentary about that murderer with DID, because both of those are sort of like. About one specific person more than they are about DID on a whole I guess? Or present themself as such.

I did think it was a shitty movie just from a movie standpoint LMAO. It was just kinda boring.

But also when it comes to media in general I think people do put a lot of undue weight on it, sorta putting the cart before the horse and focusing on the wrong things. Like I honestly rly enjoy United States of Tara even tho it's like, in my experience not really accurate at all to my experience with DID or a lot of people I know. It's entertaining, and IMO that's the main like, priority with media. And like, re:cart before the horse, it's almost like acting like Sixteen Candles' depiction of an Asian man is why those stereotypes exist, as opposed to that depiction being a reflection of already-existing racist ideas.

I also really love Fight Club, even though it (if you look at it through the Tumblr-typical very narrow lens and strip all nuance from it) could be said to fit some offensive stereotypes I guess. It's to date one of the best depictions of dissociation and confusion about time loss stuff I've found describing my experience. I related to it really hard NGL.

I guess the TLDR here is that I think there's a diff between "offensive" and "inaccurate" as well as a difference between smth being offensive in a hypothetical way as opposed to offensive in a way that like. Actually matters. I think people get really caught up in media stuff bc they have Tumblr fandom discourse disease and it's an easy thing to be like "that bad" as opposed to things more nuanced.

[theloveinc]

Deaf short king!bakugou who is your husband and y’all have been married for 15-20+ years and have a HOUSE FULL of children who is always up to no good. The oldest twin girls are always arguing about something stupid or trying to convince their 40+ grumpy old bastard of a dad to let them drive his EXTREMELY EXPENSIVE work car and he just literally takes his hearing aids out when they aren’t paying attention and the twins always get so dramatic when they find out. They literally act just like him when it comes to being dramatic and explosive emotions-

Or he is in the kitchen cooking for the 7-8+ kids and you see your teen son trying to put his phone at his fathers forehead to make that weird looking .5 angle on his forehead as if his kid doesn’t have a huge ass forehead like their daddy and bakugou is always threatening them with asl and his voice that if he doesn’t like them cook he’s gonna shove his foot up their ass and outside people will think he’s being mean but the kids love it. Especially his son- he loves to rough house with his dad and is constantly trying to shove his short king number two hero dad. Bakugou is shorter than his eldest son but will still pick him up when he’s getting on his nerves and throw him on the couch or just throw him around in general while his son is wildly laughing and trying to get out of his grip.

Or the youngest: the triplets. They are all girls and only 3-5 and they are also loud and expressive like their daddy. They are all always climbing on him and all glued to his hips and back. He’s always literally PEELING them off of him by their ankles or wrists because they just have to be on him and know exactly what he’s doing 24/7. He also is the one who dresses them as well and they look as if they are grown from the way he dresses them. They are literal little fashion models!

Bakugou can’t do anything without his kids following him or bothering him. If he’s napping they are either A) gonna join him or B) record him snoring or bother him in some type of way like jumping on top of him full on belly flopping or trying to see if they can get away with messing with him before he wakes up. If bakugou is shitting one of them is gonna be pounding on the door asking him what’s he doing in there and they will make a big deal about him using the bathroom like spraying the whole house down in air freshener or yelling about him shitting. Even if he’s at fucking work they will call him just to tell him they took a shit in his bathroom in his and his wife’s bathroom or that he’s short or just something in that annoying picking type stuff but he loves it.

They literally do it cause he’s done it to them since they were babies and they all love it so so much. Like it’s always so chaotic in the house. Like there’s never a moment of peace so there’s a lot of times you’ll find bakugou without his aids in

no bc why did this literally make me laugh out loud. like... full on covering my mouth so i don't start snorting-laughing. everything about this has me dead asf, esp the short king part because adkjhfkdskjfakj true!!!!!!!!!!!!!

he really had no idea that teasing them when they were younger would create such monsters😭😭😭 his first two fighting like literal DOGS to the point where he has to get in there w/ them to break it up, and then they're just getting mad and yelling at HIM for interrupting!!!

and his boys w/ camera rolls full of him looking so goddamn ugly. the forehead angle (LMAOOO), the snores, him blowing his nose, his face right in the middle of yelling or a sequence of him trying to take away their phones, even maybe a few of him pinching your butt, which they try to use as blackmail occasionally and then get. Grounded.

and you know his kids do that thing where, when they don't wanna listen to him they just close their eyes. makes him SO mad lmfao he just starts yelling, like "you idiots know i can talk" and they're still just sat there giggling pretending not to see or understand him.

(it's kinda funny bc when they mess with him, like when they want to roughhouse or whatever, he'll sign for them to stop, and then he'll sign again when they don't, and then he'll sign again... up until you're across the house and just hear the loudest STOPPIT you've ever heard in your life... and then laughing as your kids run away trying not to get spanked by the wooden spoon he swats at them)

and him trying to keep your youngest three from turning out like their oldest siblings🥺 they're definitely sassy, but given they like their dad and aren't mean to him or you (still very cuddly and sweet)... he kinda lets them do whatever cuz he's scared of making them turn on him, too.

all your older kids are lowkey salty abt it lmaoo (esp since they get the brunt of the little ones' attitudes) and pull that whole "dad wasn't like that w/ us!!!!!" while bakugo is literally just turning into a forehead vein, all. "please give me a break. please." (to which you get yelled at then, too, "WHY DID YOU GIVE THAT MAN SO MANY KIDS???" it's honestly funny lol.)

god. i literally wanna comment on everything here but.i know i am / would just be repeating, i'm so sorry. them calling his office every single day to ask for something. him being mad when they use your bathroom and touch all your products. dragging kids out of the front seat of his car... only to come back and find another in their place. them turning off his hearing aids while they're still in his ears just to confuse him. being so gorgeous😭😭😭

at the end of the day though, they're still his babies :'))). hurt his back so often it makes him glad he's close to retirement BUT there's still not a thing he wouldn't do for them. you usually wake up with at least 3-4 kids trying to fit in your bed at a time. have your movie interrupted by arguing about who gets to sit next to who. them beaming even at the smallest bit of attention from dad. they just love each other so much🖤🖤🖤

and probably become even better, crazier heroes than him (even if it takes him 20 years + a grandbaby to admit it).

[islesnucks]

hi bae can i request a barzy blurb based on dress by taylor swift? ty 🥺

a taylor swift song inspired barzy fic? hell yeah that’s like my two favorite things in the word together

requests are open so go send something if you feel like 

also this turned out a bit longer than I expected

I DON'T WANT YOU LIKE A BEST FRIEND - MAT BARZAL X READER

Word Count: 1.9 k

Warning: none

Summary: after Mat introduces you as his best friend and it affects you more than it should, you end up confessing your feelings for him 

Masterlist

Add yourself to my taglist!

His words hadn’t left your mind the whole night, they were on loop, replaying over and over in your brain. ‘This is Y/N, one of my best friends.’ That’s how Mat had introduced you when you arrived at his family’s friend’s wedding, to which he had invited you as he’s plus one.

You knew you and Mat were just friends, you have been for a long time, and it surely wasn’t the first time he introduced you like that. Maybe this time hit differently because you had just come to terms with the undeniable fact that you had fallen for your best friend, no matter how cliché that sounded.

You couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment when it happened. It just happened slowly without you even realizing. Suddenly seeing him hit on random girls at the bar made you feel sick. Suddenly his hand on your lower back guiding you through a crowded room felt different. Suddenly your name coming from his lips made the world stop. You didn’t know what turned the switch in your brain from platonic to romantic love and made you look at him with new eyes, but once you realized it there was no going back and the thought of Mat and you becoming something more was always there painfully present in the back of your head.

“Y/N?” you heard Mat call you, bringing you back to reality. You looked at him still a bit lost in your thoughts. ”Are you okay?” he asked with his eyes stuck on the windshield as he drove you home after the wedding had ended.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Why?”

“I don’t know. You’ve been a little off all night.” He noticed, he obviously did. Because he’s Mat, he’s your best friend, he’s one of the most attentive guys you know and he knows you better than you know yourself sometimes. So he obviously noticed, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t keep on pretending.

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.” you replied failing to sound as confident as you wanted to. Mat didn’t say anything and the car fell back into silence. 

You looked outside the window, trying to distract yourself and calm down. You weren’t far away from your place, in just a few minutes you’d be in your apartment. Mat had noticed something but he didn’t know what it was, so you could send him a text explaining you had a headache or something to get him off your back and just move on.

At least that was the plan but then Mat turned off the car and got out of it with you. You thought he was walking you to the building door like he had done many times, nothing strange. However he walked into the building with you and got into the elevator.

That’s when you started to suspect something was happening. You looked over at him confused and he just smiled at you, like nothing was going on. So maybe he was just walking you to the door. You decided not to think too much into it because if you did your heart would start racing and would notice your nerves, the last thing you needed was to give him more reasons to believe something was going on.

As you opened the door Mat was quick to walk into your apartment and you watched him with furrowed brows as he took a seat on your couch, casually like there was nothing weird with it.

“Excuse me? Can I help you with something?” you asked, stepping in front of him.

“I know something’s up Y/N. You barely talked today and you didn’t cry, I’ve seen you cry at stupid commercials and you didn’t cry at a wedding.”

You rolled your eyes walking away from him because you knew you couldn’t lie to his face, he’d notice. “I’m fine Mat I promised I just had a headache.”

“No you didn’t. When you have a headache you massage your head and you get sleepy, that’s not what happened today. It’s more like you were gone.” You hated how much he knew you, it would be harder to convince him but that didn’t mean you wouldn’t try.

“Well I’m sorry I don’t always have the same gestures Sherlock.” you replied, irritation was clear in your tone. Mat let out a deep sigh and got up. It wasn’t his intention to argue and he could see you were getting mad, he just wanted to know what was going on.

“Y/N I know you-” he started to say as he approached you but you were tired of hearing that speech.

“Can we not do this right now? I’m tired Mat, I just wanna go to bed.” you said with a defeated look, lowering your town. He looked at you for a minute and decided to push his stubbornness aside. He knew he was right, he’d bet a million dollars on it, but he also knew you were exhausted, he could see it in your face.

Mat walked till he was in front of you, inches away, and suddenly wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into his chest. He held you tight as one hand went up to your hair to stroke it. You were surprised at first but then he felt you relax in his embrace. He placed a kiss on top of your head as he balanced slightly from one side to the other, keeping his face buried in your hair.

“You don’t have to tell me what’s going on okay? Because I know something happened, don’t even try to pretend it didn’t. I just wanna know if it’s something I did, that’s all I need to know because I can’t leave you here alone knowing I may have done something to upset you.”

His voice was soft as he spoke against you. Tears started to build up in your eyes and you tried to push them away as you debated what your next move would be.

If you told him it wasn’t about him he'd leave and you could move on pretending nothing happened and dealing with your unresolved feelings. If you told him the truth you didn’t know what would happen. However you knew that regardless of how he felt about you he’d be nice to you. The man was hugging you tight about his chest, refusing you to leave until you told him it wasn’t his fault because he wouldn’t be able to live with himself knowing he did anything to hurt you.

Maybe it was the wine you had drank. Maybe it was because you were emotionally exhausted and unable to think clearly. Or maybe because you were tired of pretending. You didn’t know the reason why you decided to be honest and tell him how you truly felt, but you did that.

“You introduced me as your best friend today, that’s why I was off the whole day, I just kept thinking about it.” you mumbled against his chest, breaking the silence.

“Did you want me to introduce you differently?” He pulled away a little to be able to look you in the face, but his arms were still around you.

“Yes- I mean no. I-” You stumbled on your words, trying to find the right way to explain everything. “What you did was fine, I am your best friend, that’s right.”

“Then why did it upset you?” You rested your head face against his chest again, not having the courage to look him in the face as you confessed what you were about to confess.

“Cause I don't want you like a best friend Mat. I haven’t for a while now and I just don’t know how to deal with this. It’s not your fault, I don’t know what happened or when or how. I have these feelings for you and I guessed it hurt a bit to hear you calling me your best friend, even though that’s exactly what I am.”

After you spoke the room went silent again and you started panicking. You looked up at Mat who was already looking down at you and all you could see was shock. Suddenly your worst fear was real, you had screwed up your friendship with him. It was over. You felt the familiar knot in your throat and tears blurred your vision.

“Sorry ignore everything I said. Just forget it okay?” you said as you freed yourself from his embrace. Still no reaction whatsoever from him. “Shit. Shit. Shit. I feel so stupid.”

“Y/N.” he said, but you were too distracted pacing around the room and rambling to hear him.

“You know I even spent hours shopping for the perfect dress that would magically make you see me as more than your friend, do you know how stupid that sound? What am I? 15 years old?”

“Y/N listen-” he tried again but there was no getting to you, you were too lost in your own jabber. It was like once you started you couldn’t stop and you’d surely later regret all you were confessing.

“I’m an idiot. I really thought you could maybe by some miracle feel the same and-”

“Y/N!” he said now in a much louder tone so you would hear him and place his hands on your sides to stop you. You were surprised, not even realizing he had approached you at some point.

“Please stop.” he added now on a lower more tender tone, it almost sounded like a plea.

Now that you looked at him the initial shock had been replaced by something you couldn’t make out. His face was unreadable as he stated leaning in and before you could even question what was going on his lips were on yours.

You were surprised at first, eyes wide open not being to process what was going on. But once the initial shock was over you kissed him back. It’s embarrassing how many times you had thought what kissing him would be like, but it turned out to be even better than you could have imagined. His lips caressed yours gently, even a bit shily. Your hands met on the back of his neck and his slid down your sides to your waist, pulling you closer. 

Then a thought found its way into your brain.

“Wait.” you mumbled against his lips and he instantly pulled away. “I need to know you’re not doing this out of pity.”

He chuckled letting his head fall back before answering. “I’m doing this because I also don’t want you like a best friend. Because you do look amazing in that dress. Because I’ve wanted to kiss you for so long now. Because-” 

Your smile grew wider with every word and your cheeks turned red. You could tell he planned to keep on going, and you were surely going to ask him to tell you the rest later, but now there was only one thing you wanted.

“Ok, ok. I get it. We can go back to kissing now.” you said making him laugh, already tugging him closer by his neck and his laughs died in your lips.

-

hope you liked it! likes and reblogs are always appreciated!

taglist: @glassdanse @2manytabsopen @tazeboes @barbienoturbby @sweetlittlegingy @petey-patty @mcsteamylove98 @ttylfedora @chieflawyerpastatoad @iwantahockeyhimbo @cherrymaybank

[13uswntimagines]

Our Song (Alyssa Naeher x Reader)

Request: alyssa naehex reader thats set during quarantine w/ “Shy” by Alexander Stewart. I just kind of think it’s cute since she’s an introvert and that it would be fitting

Author’s Note: Speical Thanks To @literaryhedgehog​

Alyssa knew she should just say it, that admitting it out loud would finally put an end to this madness. She ran a soothing hand through your hair when you sniffled loudly into her chest. 

God, she should just tell you how she felt. But, she also didn’t want to overstep. That would make being roommates really awkward. Especially since neither of you were supposed to leave the apartment right now except for essential purchases. And she didn’t want to lose her best friend. That would really suck. 

But she wasn’t afraid to say what no one else would- you had a terrible taste when it came to partners. You chose people who didn’t value you, and you always ended up hurt. 

This time was no different, well, it was slightly different considering you couldn’t leave your shared apartment to cope like you normally would. Alyssa didn’t know if that was better or worse, considering that you had adapted your breakup routine to just be endless cuddles with her and your favorite stuffed animal.  

She had already spent the last hour making comforting noises. You had stopped shedding tears 15 minutes ago, so Alyssa decided it was time to go for some humor. “Hey, so now you and Taylor Swift have something in common!”

“Hmm” You hummed in acknowledgment, your eyes never leaving where Supergirl was playing on screen. 

“Well, she was broken up with over text. You were broken up with over text. I think this is the perfect opportunity to listen to her re-recording of Fearless, and really channel those emotions!”

“No, Joe broke up with her in a 27-second phone call,” You lifted your head up off of her very comfortable chest to raise your eyebrow at the woman. 

Alyssa was a great keeper, and amazing at crosswords, but she always needed your help when it came to Taylor trivia. 

“Then Joe showed more consideration as an 18-year-old child than your 32 year old wanna be soccer star. It doesn’t change the fact that I think listening to Mr Perfectly Fine would be cathartic.” 

“It’s kinda funny that she wrote Forever and Always, Mr. Perfectly fine, Better than Revenge and Holy Ground all about the same guy, they’re all so different from each other,” You mumbled, settling back down on her chest. At least she didn’t say that you had as many breakups as she did. That was a rude joke. (One Alyssa wouldn’t dare make. She was more cultured than the media asshats that chased your team around). 

“Woman’s efficient,” Alyssa shrugged. “No reason why you can't recycle the same emotion into a different song genre.” 

“At least she could make millions off her pain. All I seem to be able to do is kick the ball harder,” You grumbled. Your landlord complained about you practicing in the street because of how hard you sent the ball careening into his precious brick wall. It wasn’t your fault Alyssa was too slow to stop the PK. 

“Darling, considering you’re one of the strongest kickers on the east coast, I’d say that pain is going to a worthwhile cause. But you do kind of have the worst taste in relationships.” 

“Hey! Savannah wasn’t a bad choice, just bad timing,” You huffed indignantly. 

“So that would be one out of…. How many bad relationships?” 

“At least one for every Taylor Swift album,” 

“Okay, here’s a fun idea, choose an ex for each album,” Alyssa said brightly. Thinking about music would definitely cheer you up. “Wannabe soccer star is obviously your Joe, so represents the Fearless album. Which relationship is your… Drew?”

“You already know the answer to that question,” you said, already picking up your phone to add Teardrops on my Guitar to the music queue. You then quickly added Forever and Always and started scrolling through Speak Now for the next song inspiration. 

Alyssa nodded. It was a well-known fact that you had a massive crush on one Hope Solo growing up, and you had been absolutely enamored with her the second you set foot into camp. But Alyssa also knew that Hope was very faithful to a certain veteran. 

The veteran keeper had tried to let you down easy, and Kelley was still one of your best friends, but it had hurt in the moment.

“Kristie was my Haunted,” you said, smiling slightly. Dating her felt like a whirlwind, one that took your breath until you never thought it would end. She made butterflies flutter in your stomach, and you were so desperate to say the right thing, to be the perfect partner, that you always felt like you were walking a tightrope. Floating on air, but desperate to keep your balance. “At least she had the decency to wait until we were in the same city to end it.” 

“Aren’t the two of you friends now?” Alyssa looked down at you, watching as you scrolled through songs from your comfortable place on her chest. 

You nodded with a small smile. “Hmm, we are much better off that way anyway.” 

“I bet you I can guess who your We are Never Ever Getting Back Together person is,” Alyssa trilled, reaching down to take the phone. 

You playfully snatched it away from her. “Who’s to say I wasn’t going to choose I knew you were trouble?” You raised your eyebrow at the woman, who simply smirked in response. 

“I can tell you who that is too if you like,” Alyssa reached for her own phone and took over control of the speakers, adding both songs to the music queue. 

“Alright, I’ll bite. Who?” 

“You definitely knew Sam Kerr was trouble, and I think it took you 4 breakups with Leah to finally call it quits,” 

“I was going to say Leah for 1989, it took me forever to realize how fucked up our relationship was after we finally broke up,” 

“I’m sure the distance didn’t help.” With her in London and you in Chicago things just kind of fell apart. 

“Maybe,” you hummed, noncommittally. 

“Okay, so for Reputation. I’m thinking Don’t Blame Me,” 

“You did go a bit crazy for Jane…” Alyssa said with a roll of her eyes. You had almost moved to Houston for that girl, thank god you didn’t. You sunburned like nobody's business. 

“Oh come on. You just didn’t like the idea of me moving. And considering how long we had been dating at that point it did make sense!” You argued. 

“It was 3 months Y/n,” She deadpanned. 

“I was in a wlw relationship. That’s like practically three years, it’s not like I brought a u-haul to our first date.” 

Alyssa quirked an eyebrow up at you. “Didn’t you have one of those the first time we met?” 

“Yeah, because I wasn’t moving into my college apartment without any furniture!”

“Whatever you say, babe. Who's your Folklore?” She rolled her eyes goodnaturedly. 

“I think you skipped an album,” you said. This was weird because Lover was one of Alyssa’s favorite albums. “But, since you asked. I think Kelley is The 1.” 

“Ah, our favorite squirrel,” Alyssa’s lips ticked up. You and Kelley had dated in college (something that should have made her jealous), but Kelley was the one pushing her to admit her feelings now. 

“We were just too young and dumb,” you said, smiling. “We had a great time together, and it would have been fun if it worked out. But at some point we just realized, we were friends, but there wasn’t anything romantic there.”

“I’m sorry it didn’t work out,” Alyssa said, like a liar. 

“I’m not. Her and Emily are like made for each other,” You snorted with the shake of your head. “And at least she wasn’t afraid of the world knowing we were together,” 

“Well, yeah,” Alyssa smiled. She had loved seeing the way being publicly out with Kelley had brought out the best of you. “ Okay moving on! Next, we need to narrow down your No body, No Crime.” 

“I take offense. Alex is still alive, so that doesn’t count,” You huffed. 

“I’m kidding! I’m kidding. I know you didn’t kill any of your significant others,” Alyssa said, laughing. “Though if you listened to the song you would know that’s my job… ”

“Alex was my Champagne Problems,” You mumbled sadly. That relationship had been the hardest for you, as had the breakup. She was terrified of the world even suspecting she wasn’t straight. 

You had everything, except the freedom to be yourself, and In the end, you couldn’t take the hiding anymore. 

“You did your best, love. But people come out at their own pace. And it was before Obergfell v. Hodges was decided. Being queer was still more likely to be presented as a scandal in the media then.”

“She cheated on me with Serv. She doesn’t get a pass,” You grumbled, crossing your arms. 

“I’m pretty sure you were on a break dear,” Alyssa said, though she was inclined to agree with you. Being on a ‘break’ but not officially breaking up didn’t seem like a reason to start dating other people. Still getting over some of the semantics might theoretically help you move on. “BUT maybe we should move on. Who is your Lover?”

Your eyes squinted thoughtfully, a light pink shading your cheeks. “The only person who hasn’t ever left me is you. You let me leave the Christmas lights up until May and dance around the kitchen when you cook.” 

Alyssa looked away, not able to meet your eyes. ”I mean, the lights can change color, so they can be thematic all year. And you’re the one who chooses the music to listen to while I cook. I can’t help it if they’re all great for dancing.”

“You can dance to anything. I’m pretty sure you turned a Hosier song into a salsa dance last week.” You giggled. 

“The only person I dance with is you, Y/n,” Alyssa said, finally meeting your eyes. She could feel her body start shaking slightly, as the adrenaline kicked in. She was going to do it. She was going to tell you. “I don’t want to dance if I’m not dancing with you.” 

“I’d dance with you in a storm in my best dress,” 

“I have tried so hard to be supportive about your last several relationships. But seeing you dancing to your favorite song with anyone else… I’ve loved you for three years now and I couldn’t bear it.” 

The air was suddenly charged between you, and you realized your faces were just inches apart. It was hard to breathe. You never dreamed your best friend would return your feelings (maybe that’s why you had so many bad relationships). 

“Kiss me,” you breathed, slowly moving around so your heads were at the same level. 

“That’s not a Taylor swift Lyric,” Alyssa said. In her brain, there was a loading sign currently whirring in little circles, as she attempted to process what you just said. Did you mean what she thought you said?

“Baby just say yes,” You said, feeling so happy that tears were coming to your eyes. You leaned forward getting inches from her face, so close you could feel her breath hitch. “Please kiss me.”

“Yes,” was all Alyssa had time to say before she closed the distance and kissed you. 

[talesofarcadia78]

Hello! 😄 Can I request a fluffy oneshot with prompts: “And I love, I love, I love you.” and [a gentle “I love you too” whispered after a soft kiss, followed immediately by a stronger kiss] about Douxie attempts to confess his romantic feelings to shy!female!human! reader and he end up super flustered, but its okay because she thinks it's cute? Hint: She has romantic feelings for Douxie too! I live for flustered Douxie! 💖 Please?? ~🌼

A/n: Special thanks to @itsgabby.2021 for helping!

Confession || One shot

The wind picked up, letting out a quiet whistle. The leaves on the trees had started to change it's colours from the bright green to a warm orange. You wrapped your scarf around your neck and tugged on your jumper, attempting to get warmer.

You continued your way down the path to work.

The smell of coffee instantly hit you as soon as you opened the door of your beloved GDT Arcane Books. You hung your tote bag on one of the hangers next to the entrance.

"Good morning, Y/n!" a chipper voice called from the second floor of the store.

"Good morning, Douxie!" you called back.

You walked over to Douxie's cat, Archie, who was enjoying the morning sun by a window. You pat Archie on his exposed stomach, earning a purr before making your way over to the register.

You had been working at the bookstore for only a month but you felt like that you've been working there forever. Douxie was in urgent need of an employee as his last one had left the state with his wife. He had hung posters all over town, handing any passing person his business card and making calls to his friends to spread the word. Luckily, you had just moved from Europe to the small, quaint town, Arcadia, desperately needing a job.

One day, you were walking around in town, when you noticed a poster saying that GDT Arcane Books was hiring. You rushed over to the store to get interviewed. You were honestly expecting an ageing women/man to be the owner. But it turned out to be your pen pal, Hisirdoux Casperan. He was very happy to meet you in person after years of communicating through letters. He immediately gave you the job, no interview needed, since he knew practically everything about you and vice versa.

After a couple of days of working at the store, you had started to admire Douxie more than just a friend. You had developed a crush on him, which slowly turned into love. But, you knew that Douxie would never feel the same way, so you keep your mouth shut. You were happy with what you had and didn't want to ruin it by blurting out your feelings.

Little did you know, Douxie felt the same way for you.

The offer had been placed to stay at Douxie's place, knowing that you were new in town. But you politely declined, since you were already staying at a pink haired witch's apartment named Zoe Ashildr.

Turns out, Zoe and Douxie knew each other as fellow wizards. Douxie trusted Zoe to keep you safe and kept you company whenever he couldn't.

Back to the present, Douxie came down the stairs with two cups of coffee in each hand, whilst using his telekinesis floated empty boxes behind him.

"Here's a cup of coffee for a lovely lady," Douxie winked as he set a cup on the register as you were counting a new shipment of books.

"Thanks, Doux!" you called, keeping your self distracted as your cheeks had turned a crimson red from his comment.

+ + + + + +

You went to the back, needing to refill a few shelves with new novels.

Almost there…

Your fingers lightly brushed the book you wanted, but you failed to grab it.

You tried again, standing on your tip toes, even though you were on a ladder, you took the risk. This time you successfully got the novel but your foot slipped off of the ladder.

"Douxie!"

Douxie was walking to the back, wondering why you were taking so long, when he heard his name getting yelled by none other than you.

He rushed into the back room to see you falling from a dangerous height.

"Magna tawna truess!" Douxie incanted.

A sky blue aura surrounded you, saving you from the fall. You slowly got placed on the ground.

"You alright?" Douxie asked, frantically looking over you for any injuries.

"I-I'm alright Douxie," you replied.

He let out a sigh of relief.

"Whenever you need to get something from that height, just ask me, okay?"

You nodded in response.

+ + + + + +

You handed the book to the petit, old lady, who gave you some cash, along with a tip, before she headed out of the store.

“Time to close up shop,” Douxie stated, coming out from the back room.

“Finally! It’s been a long day,” you replied, stretching.

Douxie laughed at your antics.

“Get some rest, Y/n,” he smiled, heading to the front door and holding it open for you.

“Thanks, Doux. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow,” you said as you walked past him, “I-- ummm… Bye.”

“Yes. Bye, love. See you tomorrow,” he chuckled.

You made your way to you and Zoe’s shared apartment.

You couldn’t help but fluster yourself as thoughts of Douxie ran through your mind.

Before you knew it, you had arrived at your destination, Zoe ready to greet you.

“Hey, Y/n!” Zoe called, leaning on the doorframe, “How was work?”

“Oh, y’know… same-same,” you answered as you entered the abode.

“I forgot to mention this earlier! Douxie’s coming over for dinner!” she hollered from her spot in the kitchen as if she didn’t expect a reaction out of you.

“W-w-what?!” you sputtered, spitting out the drink that was in your mouth.

“Yeah! He should be here at 7!”

You looked at the time.

6:45…

“But… that’s… t-that’s in 15 minutes!” you cried as you ran to your room and rummaged through your clothes for something to wear.

“Well, you better hurry!” she snickered, playfully rolling her eyes.

After rummaging through your wardrobe, you finally found (you choose what you want to wear, rather than the usual plain white shirt and black pants.

Abruptly, you heard the door bell rang.

Oh no… Douxie's here.

You scrambled out of your room and into the main room to see Zoe standing in the doorway, greeting Douxie. He walked inside and spotted you.

"Hey, Y/n!" Douxie waved.

"H-Hi Douxie," you said, “W-what a nice surprise…”

“Indeed. I thought dinner was cancelled when you left work, but Zoe reminded me,” he informed.

You all sat down at the dining table, Zoe serving you your meals.

Zoe and Douxie talked over dinner, exchanging quips and banters.

You just sat there with your mouth shut, afraid of saying something embarrassing in front of Douxie.

After dinner, you tidied up the table, carrying the dishes to the sink.

“Hey! We should get some dessert! How does ice cream sound?” Zoe asked.

You and Douxie exchanged excited glances and nodded in agreement.

“Sounds good,” you smiled.

“Great! Let’s go!” Zoe exclaimed, ushering you and Douxie out the door.

+ + + + + +

You all were enjoying your ice cream at the Bluff, as you all had found the ice cream truck there. Douxie and you were sitting on the bench that was provided, while Zoe was sitting crossed-legged on the ground.

You were showing Douxie all the constellations, pointing each one out to him. He was amazed by all of your knowledge on just stars and space. Douxie knew you had an interest in a lot of things, cooking, art, sport, space, and a whole other stuff. Now, he knows you also take an interest in constellations.

Suddenly, someone's phone began ringing. Zoe noticed it was hers and picked it up.

By the way Zoe's expression turned from happy and cheerful from stressed and worried, you could tell, something was wrong.

She hung up and jumped to her feet.

"Sorry, guys. I have to go. There's a problem at Hex Tech," Zoe explained. "Bye!"

She rushed off before either you or Douxie could say anything.

You both looked at each other and shrugged before going back to constellations.

+ + + + +

Now, you two were just gazing at the stars. Douxie was in deep thought.

He had fallen in love with you in the few months he had started to write letters to you. He had only seen you through a photo that you had attached of yourself in the second letter to him, but he also got to know you through the letters. You had poured your heart into those letters, telling him everything and anything. Douxie had done the same.

He wanted to confess to you so badly! Douxie had planned to confess his feelings a few days ago, though it didn't turn out so great.

Douxie had taken you out to lovely restaurant for dinner. Everything was going according to his plan, your hands were in his as he was going to say everything, when the waiter came and interrupted. And for what? The damn bill!

You being you, took out your card to pay. Douxie wouldn't allow that. So, you two started to argue over who was going to pay the bill. Douxie ended up paying, as he planned the dinner for you.

He tried again outside of the restaurant, where there would be no interruptions. Well, that's what he thought.

You had to go to a friend’s house just after the dinner, so they decided to pick you up. Douxie had no idea about this.

Again, he was going to confess, when a car pulled up beside you two, telling you to hop in.

You apologised and headed off.

After you were gone, Douxie kicked the ground and headed to his house.

Defeated.

+ + + + + +

As you were looking up at the night sky, star gazing, Douxie was gazing at you.

He had made up his mind. He was going to tell you. Everything. Right then and there.

"Uh… Y/n? I-- uh… I wanted to tell you something," Douxie spoke up.

You turned your attention to him, "Yeah?"

Douxie took your hands in his, which made you blush a little.

"Okay, here goes nothing. Y/n… ever since I saw you-- I mean… wrote to you… Well, after I got to know you through writing letters-- through the letters, I started to look at you differently. Not in a weird way! Just more than a friend? Then, when I saw you for the first time in Arcadia, before you came to the shop. I was shocked, like I was surprised that you were in Arcadia. It's not a bad thing! I thought you lived in Europe, but turns out you moved. Anyways, I started to admire you than more a friend. I've gotten to know so much about you over the past month. So, all I want to say is that… I love you…" Douxie stammered.

You giggled at his stammering and flustered state.

He is so adorable.

Douxie took a deep breath before he repeated, "I love you." He stared into your eyes before he pressed his lips onto yours, kissing you softly as you kissed back. You both pulled away, keeping your foreheads touching.

"I love you, too," you whispered.

Douxie's eyes lit up like a child before he pulled you into another kiss, though this time, it was more stronger than the first.

You both pulled away for air just as you heard a click.

You turned your head to the source, to see a pink-haired witch standing there with her phone out, clearly taking pictures.

"Aww! You two are so cute!" Zoe cooed.

You furiously blushed and buried your face into Douxie's chest as he wrapped his arms around you.

"Zoe Ashildr!"

Word Count: 1,900

[eisforeidolon]

Jensen and Jared play the same prank with Misha and Alex, Ruth played the same prank with Misha and even said she wasn't even friends with M at the time, Jensen, Jared and Danneel have been friends for years, they're intimate enough to make any joke with M. another, some people like to create unnecessary drama. By the way, Jared's fans treated him like he was 10 years old, he's an adult like everyone there, there's a lot of hypocrisy in this fandom.

I don’t know. I thought it was just a friend busting balls. I mean Jared and Jensen have talked about how they pretty much did the same thing to Misha when he first showed up as a guest star. Which one could argue is worse behavior because Misha was new, and Danneel has been friends w/ Jared for a long time. It feels like making mountains out of molehills.

**********************************

Combining again for sufficient similarity in topic and answer.

I mean, I think that is absolutely the way Jensen intended the story to be heard and I really doubt anyone involved sees it in any other way than just joking around. From the way Jensen tells the story to the way the rest of the guests on stage react it's meant to be about just joking around.

However, we've seen J2+M make these kinds of jokes mutually about each other right in front of us for years. While they very well might, we don't have that kind of history with Danneel where the ribbing is clearly mutual. And hell, look at the way some fans still freak out about those! Heck, we've barely seen her interact with her husband that much, let alone any of the other people involved. So while we've been told they're all good friends, we really haven't seen it the same way. So if you hear Jensen relating what she said without being very aware of that context ... yeah, I get why it comes off badly. IIRC, J2 told a story previously about laughing at something she did awkwardly that day, and even just retelling that here would have made this come off a little more clearly as a mutual goofing around rather than making her sound like an actress who hadn't worked in years telling the long-term leads of a show how to do their jobs, which is yikes even if they are all close.

Do I think people are wayyyy overreacting in kind of skeevy ways including the typical infantilization of Jared? Oh yes. Did I myself cringe at the story? Also yes.

As to the comparison of this to the story of Misha's first day? J2 were talking about them saying to each other, not Misha, that he came off weird and intense, not them questioning his acting to his face. That's a pretty crucial difference there, as large as having previous friendships or not.

Transcribing the particular story from Vancon 2022 for context below.

Question: My question for Jensen is, we know you worked with Danneel on Ten Inch Hero [...] what is the biggest difference - or in what way was it different - acting with her again when she was on the show?

Jensen: When she came on Supernatural? It was much like it is in the kitchen on a normal basis. She calls out the fact that I'm not on my mark and she's like, 'Are you really gonna say it like that?' Yeah.

Mark S.: I'll believe it.

Jensen: Yeah, I'll be like [puts on exaggerated serious face] getting into my Dean thing and she's like, [makes disgusted face] 'Oh, why. What is [gestures], what are you doing?' And I'll be like, 'This is the how I ... this is the ... 15 years!' She's like, 'I know, but, really? Are we, is anybody believing the voice at this point?' And I'm like, 'You're kind of embarrassing me in front of my crew right now.' And she's like, 'You've been embarrassing yourself for 15 seasons [unintelligible]'. That's what it was like.

Misha: That's pretty spot on, by the way. I'm laughing because it's true.

Jensen: And that's why I love her because she keeps me honest. No, it was very much like working with anybody that you get along with in real life, it makes the work not work at all. It makes it fun. When you get to do that kind of stuff, and you get to play, and you get to find the nuance? And I think that's something that this show carried for 15 seasons in a way that I haven't seen - I haven't experienced anything like it. Every player got to really play. And so Danneel was like, 'Oh, this is what you guys do all day long. And I thought you were working.' That's what it was like.

Misha: It was great having her up on the show. It really was.

Jensen: Do you remember the first, her very first scene? Was the three of us, you, me, and Jared walk up, and it's outside that motel or something, and she's like, 'He's up there.' About Lucifer? And Jared comes in and like, comes in hot, he's like [exaggerated intensity] 'Where is he?!' And no joke, she did it to him, she goes [visibly pulls back] 'Oh. Is that how you're gonna do it?'

Misha: I remember that.

Jensen: Put him on his ass. Like, he was just like, '... what? huh?' Yeah, he came in a little hot in that moment. Listen, we all - we don't always hit home runs every take. And Danneel is a little bit of a, she's kind of a brutal honest kind of a person. She has a filter but just decides never to use it? In that moment I was so beaming with, like, pride and looking at people like, 'Haha, see what it feels like?'

Misha: See what it feels like? [fakes cringing away] Don't hit me!

Jensen: Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry! [also fakes cringing away] So that's what it's like.

Mark S.: Did he panic? Did he panic?

Jensen: There was a little shudder. 'Wha- what do ya mean?' She's like, 'Never mind.' And then for the rest of that whole scene he was like, trying to figure out how to do what he needed to do. I'm like, aw, she's playin dirty. She's a sniper, that one. Much like this one [points at Ruth], this one here.

Ruth: I would never!

Jensen: No, no you -

Ruth: I did say to Misha one time though, when we didn't know each other very well? He only just heard me [to Misha] You were doing a bit where you were possessed or something on the ground, I don't know what you were doing. And I said -

Jensen: I think that was just - I think he was on lunch.

Ruth: And I said, 'Oh. Is that the way you're gonna do that?' Do you remember?

Misha: Yes, yes, yes.

Ruth [???] friends.

[comingtothetree23]

Protecting The Heart (Rewritten)

Paring: Peter Parker x Reader

Word Count: 8.7K

Summary: (Y/n)’s new friend seems fishy, especially since girls’ hearts are being taken. Will Peter and the Avenger save (Y/n) from heartbreak? Literally!

Warnings: Poorly written fight scenes, Idea from Monster High, Swearing, mentions of Sex.

Happy Valentines day!

"Wait, wait wait..." Peter waved a hand to stop you from continuing, "You're telling me this 'old friend' of yours wanted to hang out with you after the world discovered you were an avenger?" You gave him a shrug as you two wait for the meeting to start.

"I mean...yeah?I know it sounds weird but I haven't seen him since I was ten." You looked away for a second, "He was my best friend growing up." Peter frowned as he knew what that meant. You were that loner in class, no friends, no one to talk to....until Peter came into your life. He opened his mouth to say something but then...

“Oh ‘Best Friend’ Sorry Pete you’ve been replaced,” Tony stated as he entered the room, also entering the conversation. everyone turned to look at you and Peter. You quickly turn to look over at him with a smirk.

“If anything Pete replaced him.” You nudged Peter’s shoulder while he just rolled his eyes, “Are you mad? if so, don’t be me and you are way closer than me and Arther ever been.” You gave him your smile he thought was just adorable, you thought the same thing about his smile.

"You two are inseparable," Nat smirked as she took a sip of her drink. You gave her a look Peter couldn't describe and certainly didn't know what it meant.

“Hopefully the guys not mad might get revenge on Parker,” Sam smirked at Peter as you scoffed at that. Arther was the nicest guy ever…Even if he never tried to reach out to you until you became an official Avenger.

“Arther not like that,”

“You don’t know, You haven’t seen since you were ten? Six years can change someone.” Sam warned, making you roll your eyes and pout a little. Arther was your best friend, your only friend for a while there. That had to make him a good person, not judging you before meeting you. 

"Let's just start the meeting." You murmur as you try hiding your face. Peter frowned and intertwined his fingers with yours making you smile. 

"Okay crew, We were sent about this case that seems below our paid rite if you ask me." Tony started standing in front of a projection, "F.R.I.D.A.Y can you do the honors?"

"Yes, Boss.”

You listened to the A.I with a bored expression, it’s the same thing. Pictures came on screen making your eyes wide and sit up straighter as you stare in horror.

“14 Teenage girls were found dead in their homes.” Everyone stared at the screen where they showed some of the crime scenes, “The bodies are only missing one thing, their hearts.” your eyes widen even more at that, “All the bodies were found in their own houses, no sign of struggle or breaking and entering.” The next thing F.R.I.D.A.Y says making your heart race, "All the girls are in the age range 15-18 in this area.“ You didn’t fail to notice everyone’s eyes move over to you.

"Any leads?" Steve wondered as more and more pictures are shown on the screen of the girls. 

"There are no leads." 

"No leads, no evidence?” You mumbled before looking over at Peter, who was looking down in thought.

“That’s impossible. There’s no way you can’t leave evidence at a crime scene.” Peter spoke up before leaning his head on his hand, “This makes no sense,”

 "I’m pretty sure people have left crime scenes without making evidence.“ You leaned back in your seats while in deep thought. 

"Technically, no. You can’t have a crime scene without evidence. Practically, yes. You can have a crime scene without evidence.” Tony explained to you all, making you all look at him confused.

"So, no struggle or breaking and entering?" You looked at the screen seeing the girl's bodies with a hole in their chest, making you shutter, "T-That can't be right." 

“ We'll figure that out later." Nat spoke up, "Me, Steve, and Tony will go to some of the crime scenes.” She looked over at Steve and Tony, "Sam and Bucky you go talk to the girl’s parents…“ You stopped listening to her as you thought of the girls, having their hearts ripped out sounded extremely painful. You hated that you couldn’t have helped them in time.

” Peter, you will continue to do your patrols but keep an eye out for anything suspicious.“ You frowned as you looked at Nat, she was stoned-face, like she usually was.

"Nat, what about me?" you question as she turned and look at you. You and Nat became close friends right as you joined the avengers. Nat seemed to think for a moment before speaking up.

"...You will join Peter-"

"What!?"

"Nat you can't be serious."

"She's a target!" Nat raised a hand to silence the crowd.

"You will join Peter but if anything serious happens you will stay in the tower where it's safe. Alright." You looked at her and she had a look you knew she was right. You hesitantly nodded as she gives you a tiny smile, "Alright team, head out."

Who made her in charge?” 

“Yea, I though I was the leader.” Steven frowned.

~~

"Pete, C'mon let me go." You grunted as you tried to walk. It was hard since Peter was acting like a koala and hugging you tightly, not letting you go, "I have plans!" 

"Cancel them!" Peter yelled tucking his face in your neck, "It’s dangerous out there! You could be hurt.” 

"Is it about those girls? Pete, I have training I'll be fine!" You tried to argue but Peter started putting more of his weight on you, making you fall.

"Pete."

"Hmm?" 

"We're on the floor now." You tried crossing your arms but Peter tightened his arms around you and now it kinda hurts. Peter didn't seem to care you guys were on the floor since he snuggled his face into your hair. You closed your eyes with a sigh as you messed with his curls.

"And then I said- Why in hell are you two on the floor!?" Sam asked as he and Bucky entered in the living room to see you two on the floor.

"Pete's being a baby and isn't letting me go meet up with Arthur." You explained as you stare up at the two men standing above you.

"Oh, makes sense." they shrugged and walked over to sit on the couch, completely ignoring you two on the floor.

"What!? No! Help me! Pete!" You yelled as you started to struggle in Peter's arms, which honestly didn't do anything for you since he's supa strong.

"Outta Luck, (L/n)," Bucky smirks as he sits back and watched some dumb movie. You groaned loudly as you finally stop struggling.

"You guys suck!"

"We know."

"Yep."

You sat there for a moment staring at the ceiling thinking about how you could get out. You looked over at Peter to see his eyes were closed and face tucked into your neck, breath tickling your neck. Your wide widen as an idea came into your head.

"...you can come with me. If it makes you feel better." You watched for his reaction, He opened his eyes and looked at you confused, "You can come with me to meet Arthur. I’m sure he won’t mind.” You shrugged as you looked back up at Peter, who was thinking the idea over.

"W-would you mind?" Came his shy voice making you smile a little. Peter was always kind and never wanted you to feel uncomfortable, which you loved.

"Of course, I don't want you worrying all day." You brushed your hand through his curls, making him sigh contently, "Even if everything would be okay."

"You don't know that, (Y/n)." peter frowned as he stared into your eyes, "It took us until 14 girls to realize this man is out there. He knows what he's doing." You frowned as you realized he's right.

"That's why I want you to come with." You look down at him and gives him a sweet smile, "To protect me if anything happens." Peter smiled and snuggled into your again and sighed contently when you messaged his temple.

"Yeah sounds great." His smile got bigger as you hummed a tune he knew you listened to a lot in your room. He could of stayed like that forever but it all ended when you spoke up.

"uhh, Pete, we're gonna be late if we don't leave now." Peter sighed softly as he slowly uncurled himself from you and stood up, helping you up, "Thanks, now let's go." You linked your arm through his as you two walked out of the tower, Sam and Bucky watching.

“There’s gonna be a fight.”

~~

“(Y/n)!” You looked over at a teenage boy waving over at you, you looked at the boy confused. The boy has short dyed black hair, green pricing eyes and he is wearing a fancy shirt for being in a small town cafe. 

“Do you know him?” Peter asks as he takes your hand and told it tight. You didn't bother to take your hand away from his since you know Peter is not letting go.

"I... don't know." You tilted your head as you got a good look at him, "He doesn't look familiar at all! Not even a little." You explained causing Peter to tighten his hold on your hand. 

“(Y/n), it’s me, Arthur!” Your eyes met his and you imminently recognized him. He always had those green eyes You smile and wave at him, You drag Peter over at the table as you both sat down.

"Arthur, That's you? You look so different." Maybe it was just your memories messing up but he looked so different. You smile as you put two hands on the table. 

"It's me darlin', You haven't changed a bit." He smiles at you but this smile wasn't like Peter's. Peter's smile was cute and calming making you feel safe while Arthur’s was bone-chilling and seemed more like a smirk, "Who's your friend." Arthur frowned as he looked at Peter. You put a hand on Peter's shoulder as you explain.

“This is Peter Parker, he’s my really good friend. He’s one of Tony Stark’s interns. That’s how we met." That, That was a lie. You two meet way before his internship and right after Arthur left school. Peter sent you a look trying not to show his confusion.

“Tony Stark, That’s mighty impressive.” he lean his chin on his hands as he smirks, “What do you do there, Peter?” Peter frowns and tries to reach for your hand as his Peter tingle screeched 'Danger’ at him. Your hands were on the table and he didn't want to be a bother, He already forced himself here. 

“Oh, you know…” He laughs nervously, “Bring him his coffee, helps him with his inventions sometimes…The normal intern stuff.” He looked over at you with panicked eyes which you did notice and subtly nodded his way.

“Ain’t that interesting,” Arthur smirked at Peter before looking over at you. He gave you a look that when you two were little would make your heart melt but now you felt nothing. You gave him a smile as Peter watched your interaction. 

'Danger! Danger! Danger! Danger! Danger!'      

“So Arthur, How are you? Are you doing anything?” You moved the topic away from Peter and the Stark internship. You smiled at him, wanting to know more about him.

“I’m doing just fine, darlin'. Thank you for asking." He gently took your hand and placed a gentle kiss on your knuckle with that same cocky smirk, “I’ve been moving School to School recently.”

"Wait? Really? is that why you left years ago?" You leaned forward as you question him. You were devastated when he just left without a word. You always wondered what happened to him.

“Afraid so, None of the places really captivated me.” You and Peter share a confused glance before looking back at Arthur, “But this place is just lovely.”

“It’s New York,"  Peter spoke up looking around the small cafe you three were in. New York was nice but the people here could be... uh not nice.

"And I’ve always wanted to live in New York.” Arthur quickly shuts Peter down, sending him a look that made his senses scream, “And then I discovered that you lived here, darling.” Arthur took a hold of your hand, Peter's sense screamed, “And I was over the moon!" 

"Oh, I’m not that great.” You laugh gently and took your hand away from Arthur’s, “I bore people really easily." 

"That’s not true, (Y/n).” Peter spoke up, making both you and Arther look at him, “You are amazing to be around! Your fun, smart and weirdly obsessed about TikTok." 

"They're funny and you know it!”

“Don’t forget that you are beautiful, darling. Oh, I have something for you.” He handed you some flowers. You looked at them in shock as you felt a weird feeling.

“Oh, Thank you, Arthur.” You give him a fake smile as you place it gently behind you, “They beautiful." You noticed a small note in the flowers.

"Like you, There's a little poem a wrote for you In there.” You nodded at him with a tight smile. You didn't think about it when Arthur puts on some sunglasses and frowned deeply at you. 

"I would have gotten more but I was so excited to see you again I couldn't wait." Arthur leaned forward a bit, completely ignoring Peter as you and Arthur stare at each other.

There was something about his eyes that made you stare at them. You didn't even notice when yours and Peter's phones went off at the same time. It was when Peter shook your shoulders did you look away. 

"(Y/n), it's work. we gotta go." Peter explained making you nod toward him. You put a hand on your forehead before shaking it lightly, you feel lightheaded for some reason."

“Hey, Sorry Arthur.” You pointed behind you, “We both got to go, See you later?" 

"Of course, Darlin'. I’ll see you real soon.” He smirked which made you shiver as he gently took your hand and put a kiss on it. 

“Bye Arthur.” You stood up, took Peter’s hand, and left the cafe. Arthur's eyes never left your figure as you two walked down the streets toward the Avengers tower.

~~

“You don’t like him, Do you?” You ask as you and Peter sat on a roof, looking for any crime. You wore your super-suit while Peter was in his Spider-suit. You kick your feet out as you waited for his answer.

“…Did he seem weird to you?” He avoided the question, he didn’t want to answer your question, which answered your question.

“Well, He’s always been… a little weird.” You sighed as you kick your foot a little more, “but…” You quickly shook your head and layed down to look at the stars.

“But?" 

"But… He kinda made me uncomfortable,” you confessed as you avoided Peter’s eyes to look at the stars. What made you uncomfortable was it seemed like he wanted one thing from you.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Peter asks in a soft voice, making you look over at him. You let out a sigh as he layed down next to you and you both stared at the sky.

“It’s just… he never reached out to me before I became an Avenger and I didn’t really mind. It’s just when he started giving me flowers acting all romantic toward me. I just don’t like him like that anymore and we literally just got back in touch.” You knew Peter was looking at you through his mask but you continued, “As I said earlier, We were never really that close.”

“Why don’t you tell him to stop?” Peter asks you making you let out a long sigh.

“I will don’t worry. I’m just in a mood. I’m just worried about the girls.” Peter gave you a nod as you continues, “Having their hearts ripped out, must be so painful I can’t even imagine.” You felt tears sting your eyes. You felt a hand touch your shoulder and you look over at Peter.

“Hey, Don’t worry. We’ll find the person who did this.” Peter gently pulled off his mask to show you his face, he knows how much just seeing his face calms you down, “You’ll be fine.”

“I’m not worried about me! I’m worried for other girls out there.” you looked over at Peter and gave him a look, “I just want people to be safe. Like how I was.” You avoided Peters’s gaze as you turned your head away from him. You suddenly felt a gloved hand on your chin and Peter moved your head to face him as he gave you an adorable smile

“Don’t worry you will, (Y/n).” He gave you another smile that made you smile. You look away for a moment before leaning in and giving him a peck on the lips and quickly pulling away.

Peter stares at you for a moment before cupping your cheeks, giving you a soft gentle kiss on the lips. You smile into the kiss as you return the kiss. It was gentle and full of love, Love that made you so happy you met Peter Parker. You two pulled away but kept your foreheads touching.

“How was that?” Peter shyly asks, trying to catch his breath. You let out a soft laugh as you gently pinch one of his rosy cheeks

“Perfect." 

"Peter, there’s a bank robbery far east from here,” Karen explains to him, not realizing she's kinda ruining an important moment.

“Duty calls.” You giggle before placing a kiss on his nose. You stand up and jumps off the building and making a portal to the crime scene.

Leaving Peter watching you with a daze smiley look before shaking his head and putting his mask off and chases after you.

~~

“You learn anything new from the case?”  you entered the kitchen to see the group. Peter had his arm around your waist. Ever since last night, you weren’t willing to let go of each other.

“No, there’s nothing at the crime scene. No fingerprints, no bloostains-” Steve started, looking over at Nat as he explains. He had bags under his eyes showing he wasn't sleeping.

“Surprising." 

”- No nothing! We found nothing!“

"How… How are the bodies?” Peter spoke up quietly, not wanting to upset you but this was something you all needed to know. especially since you could be a target.

“The only thing found was a hole in their chest, where the heart was.” Nat sighed not looking at any of you, “Sam and Bucky are starting to interview the parents. Hopefully, they’ll find something.”

“They will don’t worry.” You detached yourself from Peter and walked over to Nat, putting a hand on her shoulder, “We’ll find them. We always do.” You finished with a smile making Nat look you. 

“So, You and Parker?” She smirks, You blush as you smile giddily at her with a quick nod of your head, “Guess that old friend of yours wasn’t that fun, huh?”

“He was… Eh." 

"Eh, That bad huh?” Nat took a sip of her drink with a raised brow. 

“He wasn’t bad it’s just he was being all romantic like he were in a novel.” You sigh dramatically, "Two lovers torn apart but they find a way to each other and live happily ever after blah blah blah.“ 

"You know what he wants right?” Nat asks you as you look up at her sighing and nodding.

“Yeah, Yeah, I do.” you look down sadly, “I really wanted to be his friend again but I guess that’s not what he wants from me." 

"Who cares? You’re a badass Avenger who can handle herself. You should be proud and happy, Your finally with Peter. Everyone knows you two wanted that for a while now.” You let out a laugh at that.

“Yea, I really did.” You look over at Peter, who was suddenly on the ceiling because of peppermint, “I’m really lucky.” You gave him a soft smile which Peter noticed and gave one back.

~~

“Hey Arthur, Can we talk?” You walked over to Arthur, you two stood in a soccer field at an old park. There weren't that many people around you surprisingly. 

“Of course, Darling. I got you something,” He pulled out a necklace that looked really pretty, some force was raising your arm to take it but you forced it down, coughing.

“That’s why I'm here to talk.” He paused looking confused, like this never happened before, “The gifts and things are nice and all but it makes me uncomfortable. I don't think of you like that.” Arthur looked at you for a moment before his face hardens, making you panic, “We can still hang out! I just want you to know.” You wave your hands in the air, not trying to be mean.

"It's that boy, isn't it?"

“What?”

“Parker? His name was I'm assuming I didn't care enough to remember.” He shrugged walked closer to You, you kept a brave face as he leaned down, "You know, I was surprised when I saw you walking into that little old cafe holding some random boy hand." 

“Dude, This isn't really your business." You put a hand on his shoulder and pushed him away gently as you try walking past him, "I don't owe you anything! Goodbye Arthur." A hand gripped your wrist, making you stop walking. 

"But it is my business.” He pulled you back and pinned you to a tree, making you look at him, “Your love-life is my business. Which is why I know it’s Parker.” You glare at him as he takes his hand off your chin.

“What are you talking about?” You look at him with a glare before rolling your eyes, “Let me guess you want one thing from me. I wonder if I can guess what it is.” you made a motion with your hands before Arthur pins them again, making your roll your eyes.

“I do want something from you but it’s not what your thinking.” You look up at him confused as he takes his sunglasses off showing his piercing green eyes, “I want your heart.” Your eyes widen as your blood runs cold, “But I kinda like your suggestion. I think I just might do that too." 

"Get off of me." You growl lowly, Arthur looks at you almost smugly.

"What was that Darlin'?"

"Get off of me!" You yelled as you kicked him in the stomach, pushing him off of you. He stumbled a bit before standing up straight and staring at you almost bored, "You kill those girls!"

“Killer? Now I’m offended, I don’t kill them.” He starts to walk over to you, you held up your fist ready to fight, “No need for a fight. I’m not going to hurt you.”

"I bet you said that to those girls!" You lunged at him making both of you fall as you punch him, over and over again, "14! That's how many girls were hurt because of you!" 

"And I only got caught now." He smirks at you, making you see red. You pull out some handcuffs and cuffs his wrists before standing up and taking a couple of steps away, "and what are you going to do with me?" You scoffed as you crossed your arms. 

“I’m bringing you to Avengers tower to bring you in. So, you won’t hurt any other poor girl, You heartless-fuck!” You raised an arm and opened a portal to your room in the Avengers tower. You walk over and picks him up walking toward the portal.

“Wait!” He yelled making you stop and look at him, “Can you do one last thing for me, darling?" 

"Hell no, after everything you don't get anything." You growl before you felt him grab your wrist, making you glance at him. You did a double-take as you notice the handcuffs were off.

"H-How?" You shuddered as he stood up and walked toward you with a smirk. Once again you couldn't look away from his green eyes, just like the cafe. 

"You think you're the only girl that caught on?" He chuckled as your back met a tree, "dated an officer's daughter, That was a challenge." He suddenly grabbed both of your wrists and pinned them to the tree and leaned closer to you, "But you're much more of a challenge, Darlin'."

His eyes started glowing pink before you felt your cheeks heat up while your heart started beating faster. It got worst as you tried looking away but Arthur cupped your cheek, making you stare at him. 

“I will have your heart, darling. It’s too special not to.” You tried shaking your head as you tried...Wait, why were you struggling? Arthur’s your friend, he wouldn't do anything bad. You gave a small smile as you leaned into his hand, making him smirk.

"There you go, (Y/n). Just give in, I'll make you feel loved." That was the last thing he said to you. You stare up at your best friend with a smile, eyes glowing pink. You let out a small giggle that Arthur smirked at. 

~~

“(Y/n), (Y/n), Where are you!? (Y/N)!” Peter howled as he walked the streets of New York, people gave him weird looks but he didn’t care. Ever since you left that morning his Peter Tingle has been going crazy. He knew it had something to do with you. he shook his head as he tried not to think about what could have happened to you.

'Danger! Danger! Danger! Danger! Danger!' 

He sighed before he saw a glance of your (H/c) leaving a shopping store and entering an ice cream shop.

"(Y/n)!" He ran inside the shop and looks around for you. It was until he saw you and Arthur sitting down on a booth. He started walking toward you two. As he did, his senses were screaming at him louder and louder.

'Danger! Danger! Danger! Danger! Danger!' 

“(Y/n), where have you been!? I’ve been looking all over for you?” Peter scolded but froze when he saw you. You were holding onto Arthur's arm as you leaned into him. You looked up at Peter but showed no emotion what-so-ever. Usually, when you saw him you screamed a hello at him, no matter where you were, "(Y/n)?"

You looked at him a little bit more before looking at Arthur with a confused glance. Peter frowned as he looks at your appearance, You were more dresses up than usual and even wore a necklace he never saw before. When you looked back at him He noticed your eyes were blank, something he was no used to.

“Can I Help you, sir?” Arthur answered for you, something you hated. Peter frowned as you didn't look mad you actually looked relieved, he also wondered why Arthur was wearing sunglasses, inside a building.

“I’m not talking to you, I’m talking to (Y/n)!” Peter snapped taking a hold of your shoulder, shaking you a bit, “(Y/n), The Avengers are worried about you. You haven't been answering my text, you're worrying us.” You tilt your head in confusion at him.

“I’m sorry, I’ve just been having the time of my life with Arthur.” You giggled as you laid your head on Arthur's head, making him smirk at Peter. Your voice sounded off as you ran your hands on his chest, “I just lost track of time.”  Peter watched you with a frown, weren't you two together?

“What’s up with you?” Peter asks, hurt clear on his face. He really thought you two were together, yeah you never said you were but he kinda thought since, "This isn't like you." he shook his head.

"No idea what you're talking about." You didn't even look at him. Peter frowned as you waved your hand away, "We'll talk later, I'll be home later."

"How late?"

"Later." You finally looked at him and held a look that made him nod and walk away. He frowned as he thought before something confused him. Why were your eyes pink?

~~

"No, she was acting so weird!" Peter ranted as he paced around the living room. He was calling Ned through F.R.I.D.A.Y no realizing the Avengers were also in the room, listening, "She wasn't even looking at me. I-I really thought..."

"Peter, maybe she's just cuddly with him. They were friends before you two were." Ned says softly, not wanting his friend to be hurt, "She never said you two broke up."

"We were never together. We just kissed and cuddled." Peter explained softly, falling into the couch and covering his eyes, "I just assumed we were together but I guess not."

"Ask her if she gets back." Ned suggested, "she said you'll talk when she gets back so talk." 

"Okay..."

"Okay, I gotta go my mom's calling me. See you at school." Ned hung up leaving Peter sitting on the couch in pain. The Avengers all look at each other before going back to the case, but still listening in.

"I'm home." You called as you carried bags on clothes, flowers braided into your hair, "Hey..." You murmur as you try walking past him but Peter quickly walked in front of you cornering you.

"Can you move, please? I gotta get to my room." You smiled as you tried walking past him but Peter grabbed your wrist gently, making you stop and stare at him.

"(Y/n), we gotta talk," Peter says making you stare at him before shrugging and sitting down on the couch. Peter stares at you for a moment before sitting next to you.

"What do you want to talk about." You asked softly as you stare at him confused. Peter stared at you for a moment before sighing and deciding to just man up.

"What's going on with you and Arthur?" He questioned causing the Avengers to sit up and stare at you two unnoticed. 

"What? You don't know?" You laughed slightly causing Peter to fear what you are going to tell him, "We're dating, it's official." You stood up and clapped excitedly, Peter's heart broke. The Avengers stare at you in shock before starting at each other.

"No... that can't be true," Peter spoke up making you turn to look at him confused, "(Y/n) you are not acting like yourself. You can tell me if something happened." You stare at him like he was crazy.

"Nothing going on! If anything, I feel better than ever!" You giggle as you sigh dreamily, "Arthur bought me this dress and others. But this one is my favorite so I wore it just for him, He loved it so much." 

"Something is wrong!" Peter stood up and grabbed your shoulders, shaking you a bit. 

"What do you mean? Nothing is wrong." You walked out of Peter grip and put your hand on your hips, you looks at him confused as he got angry, "Why are you so angry?"

“You just don’t kiss people for fun! You don’t kiss someone just to throw them away the next day and run away off to someone you didn’t talk to in 6 years.” Peter snapped as he stared at you you frowned as you stare at him confused.

"Peter, we never kissed." You started softly, making Peter's heartbreak even more, "I have no idea what you're talking about." Peter stared at you as you looked at him confused. His heart broke as you never called him Peter you only called him Pete.

“You're not making any sense!" 

"I don't know what you tell you." You put a hand on your chest offended, "We never kissed, I don't want to make you upset but we're partners but that's all."  The worst part of this was that you weren't yelling you were being sincere with him.

Peter frowned as he turned his back to you, he stared one last glance at You. He looked into your strangely blank eyes and he swore he saw that they were still pink instead of your normal eye color. Your face softens as you reach for him.

"Pete..." Your eyes glowed pink as your face hardens as you storm to your room. Peter sat on the couch and tried to calm himself down, the Avengers stared at him before Nat stands up.

"I'll talk to her." 

~~

"(Y/n)," Nat spoke firmly when she opened your door, You changed into your pajamas. Your shoulders tense before you slowly turned to face her with a blank face, "What was that?" She took steps toward you.

"Whatever are you talking about?" You gave her a look and she gave one right back at you. Nat studied your face for a moment, it was blank and your voice sounded flat.

...unusual.

"(Y/n), You know what I'm talking about. Don't try to lie to me, you know how I am." Nat frowned at you as you continue to stare at her, "You really hurt Peter, I don't know what's been going on but..."

"Pete?" You tilt your head in confusion as you stare at her. Your eyes glowed bright pink as you stared at her, Nat narrowed her eyes as she memorized the pink.

"Peter Parker, your teammate, ring a bell?" Your eyes move around the room as you think, you seem to be confused, "The teammate you just had a nasty fight with?" You move your head up, confused.

"Fight? I didn't have a fight recently..." You bite your finger as you think, "Come to think of it... I don't know an Peter Parker." Nat's eyes narrowed as she took a step toward you.

"Who's your best friend?" 

"My best friend?" you chuckled, "My best friend is Arthur, well now he's my boyfriend. I've been waiting for ages for this." You gushed as you giggle lightly, Nat notes mentally that your eyes are glowing a brighter pink.

"How long have you been friends for?" Nat questioned, It sounds like your memories have been affected but she needed to know much more. If she was correct then you were in deep trouble.

"We've been friends since diapers. Gosh, I can't believe it's been like 8 years since we met!" you clapped as you jumped a bit, making Nat frown as she thinks.

8 years? Nat clearly remembers you saying you haven't seen him in 6 years. She looks up to see you tapping away at your phone, You looked up when you felt her eyes.

"Sorry, it's Arthur. We have a date tomorrow." You chuckle sheepishly as you rub the back of your neck. Nat glared at the phone for a moment before smiling.

"Don't worry, (N/n). Enjoy your date." And before you could say anything, Nat left. You watched your doorway, your eyes fading to your regular eye color before your phone went off, eyes returning pink.

"Hey, Baby..."

~~

"Something is clearly wrong with (Y/n)," Nat explains as she sits down at the table. the others all looked up from their research, Sam, and Bucky explaining what they found.

"Nat, now's not really the right time..." Steve motioned toward Peter who was eating a buttload of cereal. Nat stared at Peter with a look of sympathy before looking at Steve

"She's next." which caused everyone to sit up straight.

"What do you mean she's next?" Steve asks causing Natasha to give him a look before sitting down and staring at the papers scattered around.

"Well, it seems that (Y/n) has never met a Peter Parker in her life." That caused Peter to look at her as she continued, "She claims her best friend of 8 years is that Arthur guy that she hasn't seen in 6 years. How long has she been acting like this?" She asked looking over at Peter who seemed to be thinking.

"Uhh since she left this morning." Nat looked at him thinking before grabbing a paper and inspecting it.

"And who was she with?"

"uh, I don't know this morning but when I found her she was with Arthur," Peter explained as he started to connect the dots. He could have slapped himself, how could he be so stupid!? He was support to Protect you!

"Has her eyes been different lately." She looked around the table as they thought about it.

"I haven' really looked at her eyes."

"How the fuck would I know?"

"...Sam."

"Yea," Peter started causing them to look at him, "I thought I was going crazy but I swear her eyes has been turning pink or something?" his shoulders sagged as his guilt started eating him up, "I didn't think about it." 

"She's next." Natasha frowned as she glared at the papers from the Parents of the girls who were attacked, "It seems like this was one person doing. Anyone wanna guess who?"

"Arthur..." Peter practically growled making Sam and Steve stared at him, Nat nodded gravely as she puts the papers down on the table, "That sneaky son of..." 

"Language!" 

"Okay, I have a plan but we need Wanda." Peter looked at her confused, Wanda? yea he heard of her but how can she help them? Sam and Steve seem to understand what Natasha meant by that, "And we need it to happen soon." 

"Anyone has a way to contact Wanda?" Natasha looks at the two males in front of her, Ignoring Peter's. Sam shrugged while Steve looked a little nervous, it was until they heard footsteps coming.

"What do you mean you have something special for me tomorrow?" Your voice rang through the halls, making them all snap their attention on you as you ignored them, "Aw, Arthur you shouldn't have! I can't wait!" 

Peter frown deepens as he watched you closely, something special? His eyes widen as he realizes what that meant for you as you were oblivious to your fate.

"I wish I could do something for you." You paused listening to Arthur’s answer.

"How about a gala?" Nat spoke up making you look over at her confused, "Tony's having a gala tomorrow and I think that could be fun." You looked over at her before beaming.

"We're having a gala tomorrow?" Peter asks as he was completely ingored.

"You hear that babe!?" Babe? Peter wanted to throw up, "C'mon it could be fun and you could still show me your surprise." There was a pause before your frowned, "What no?...oka-" You were cut off as suddenly Natasha took your phone and held it to her ear.

"Hello, Arthur? Yes, it's Black Widow listen you are being invited to Tony Stark’s gala how could you not want to go?" Nat's face was blank as she listened to his response, "Romantic? You want it to be Romantic who do you think people go to galas? For fun? No, it's to be nice to their partner. If you don't go your missing a chance of a lifetime." There was a long pause before Natasha smirks, "Okay, Nice doing business with you."

"Thank you, Nat." You smile as you held onto your phone before placing it to your ear, "I can't wait! We need to plan what to wear..." your voice faded as you left for your room.

"....That sucked." Peter pouted as took another bite of his food. Nat looked serious as she looks at the group again.

"We need Wanda here by tomorrow. Tell Tony what's happening." Sam and Steve nodded as they both went in different directions. Peter watched them leave with a confused frown.

"Peter." Nat knelt to watch Peter, "We need you there tomorrow to help, and don't worry, We'll get (Y/n) back." Natasha patted his back before standing up and getting ready for a gala.

~~

"This still sucks." Peter huffed crossing his arms as he watched you in your stunning dress walking with Arthur. Arthur smirked as you clung to his arm.

"I know Pete, I can't believe how weirdly dresses he is." Tony raised a brow before taking a sip of his drink. Nat rolled her eyes when she walked over with Wanda, who looked confused.

"I'm sorry what's going on?" she asked looking around the group, waiting for an answer. Peter made the mistake of looking back at you to see Arthur dipping your down in a dance he slammed his eyes shut.

"That case that we got assained, we know who it is and who's next," Natasha explains to Wanda before subtly motioning toward you and Arthur. Wanda looks over at you and Arthur with red eyes for a moment before her eyes widening, "What did you see?"

"We need to return her memories now." She explains before turning her back to Arthur and whispers, "He's close to ....finishing his mission." 

"Which is?"

"When he controls the girls he can see how much love they have for him in their hearts." She starts, voice quiet and grim, "Once their heart is full of love for him he steals it and turns it into his own personal trophy. (Y/n)'s heart is to complete his collection." No one said anything for a good while.

"What!?" Peter yelled causing the others to shush him, "How the hell do you make a heart a trophy!?" He raised a hand to grip and pull at his hair, something he does when he's nervous.

"He finds a way." was Wanda's only response before Steve speaks up.

"So what can we do?" Wanda looks at Steve for a moment before turning to Peter and nudging him.

"I have an idea but I'll need your help, Peter." Wanda gives him a smile as Peter looks at her like she was crazy, which is a possibility.

"Why do you need my help?" Peter asked which made Wanda smile at him.

"You'll see." 

~~

"Hey um, (Y/n)?" You hear a voice say, you turn around slowly to see that boy standing there. What was his name again Pablo? Pedro? Patrick?, "Can we talk?" You tilted your head slightly in confusion.

"Um-"

"Can't you see we're dancing here?" Arthur cut you off and practically growling at the boy in front of you. He held your hands tightly and held them to his chest, you just stared at the boy, "She made her choice, you see? I don't even see why you try?" He chuckled darkly, "A boy like you could never make a girl like (Y/n) happy." the boy just frowned before shaking his head before pressing a hand to his ear.

That's when everything around you went dark, the boy...Preston? No not now! the boy and Arthur are both gone. You looked around to see a playground? That..that's not what you expected but you continued to look around.

You stopped when you saw a little girl, oh wait she was you. It was you when you were little, you were laughing and playing with a younger Arthur you smiled at no matter how much change you can always count on Arthur. You walked closer to hear the conversation that was happening.

"You're moving? Well..." You frowned, Arthur never moved away? She paused for a moment before smiling happily at Arthur, "That's okay, we'll...we'll have our mommy's talk. We would still be able to see each other!" You smiled as she held his hands and intertwined their fingers. Arthur looked at their fingers before shaking his head.

"I'm sorry (Y/n) but no, we can't talk." What? No, no this is when you convince him to stay or something because he never moved away. Maybe he moved for like a year but most he must have came back, "We can't talk when I'm away but I'll come back for you." 

"Why can't we talk when you're gone?" she pouted as you watch closely Arthur stared at your younger self's face before smirking lightly and cupping your cheek.

"You're right, we should talk. Every Saturday we'll talk and it'll be like I never left." She smiled and hugged Arthur tightly as he hugged her back. You smiled to yourself, that's how you stayed in touch when he was apparently gone.

"It's all coming together." You nodded to yourself and went to walk off, find a way out of here. You stopped as you noticed something and stopped and watched with a frown.

It was you sitting on your mother's kitchen counter, the clock says 9:45 AM. You were sitting on the counter next to the kitchen phone, kicking your feet with a smile. You watched as the clock turned to 3:12 PM and you made a tiny portal and was barely able to jump through to the other side of the room before staring at the phone. 

Suddenly It was nighttime and You were holding the phone to your ear pressing random numbers as the clock read 1:30 AM. Your younger self was crying before someone came in.

Your eyes widen as you stared at your mother in the doorway, you haven't seen her since...since...

"(Y/n)? What are you doing up still?" Your mother asks as she takes the phone away from you and where it belongs. You walked closer to her, you felt the need to see her again, hug her again.

"A-Arthur hasn't called me. He said he w-would call me every Saturday." Your younger self sniffled before your mother took her in her arms and hugging the life out of her, "I-I thought he wanted to-to see me again." 

"oh, (Y/n), I'm so sorry." Your mother's voice dropped in a whisper, "I'm so sorry." You stood there not knowing one she was apologizing for. 

The world moved around you to see you walking through school by yourself, friendless. You watched as you walked into school every day with no friends, people avoiding you and talking behind your back. You watched as your younger self would cry to herself alone, you watched as your life reached a low when you lost your mother. You watched yourself falling deeper until something happened one day.

"Watch out!" A voice called before you watched as your younger self jumped into someone. You walked closer to see it was...it was that boy from the party! well, he was younger but it was still him. Awe, he wore glasses and they looked huge on him.

"I am so sorry, I didn't see you there! I should have been watching where I was going it's my fault I am so sor-" The boy rambled before getting cut off by your laugh. 

"No, no, it's fine. I wasn't watching either." You looked down to see your papers all over the place, you knelt down to pick them up and smiled when you saw the boy was doing the same thing. When you both got all the papers the boy handed you the papers and you held out your hand with a smile, "Hi, my name is (Y/n) (L/n)." The boy stared at your hand for a moment before shaking your hand with a shy smile.

"Peter Parker, n-nice to meet you." Your younger self smiled as you took a moment to drop his hand. 

"Nice to meet you, Peter Parker. I feel like we'll be great friends." the people in front of you drifted away as you stood there in shock. Peter Parker, that was his name. Your eyes widen as a gasp left your lips.

"Peter Parker" You whisper to yourself as the memories all come back to you. Getting to know Peter, Befriending Ned and M.J, Meeting the Avengers, Becoming a family, Peter becoming Spider-man, falling in Love.

Pink faded to your normal eye color as your memories show all around you. You frowned as you realized Arthur wasn't your soulmate, he wasn't your friend, he was your enemy. When you thought of your soulmate it wasn't Arthur you were thinking about...

It was Peter.

You open your eyes to see you're back at the gala,  you turn to see Peter staring at you with the Avengers around him. You turn and look at Arthur who was holding your waist. You looked at Arthur to see him staring at you like an object before looking back at Peter who was watching, waiting to see how you were. Staring at you with love in his eyes.

"Pete?" You whisper out as you felt tears in your eyes, "Peter!" You pushed Arthur away and ran over to Peter and wrapped your arms around his neck.

"(Y/n)!" Peter picked you up and spun you around while laughing before gently putting you down. Peter nuzzled his face in your neck and inhaling your scent, something he missed doing. He pulled away and stared at you in the eyes and holding your shoulders, "(Y/n), I-is it really you? Are you back?" 

"I'm back, I'm me again Pete." You let out a wet laugh as Peter smiled and cupped your cheeks and presses a love to your lips. You smile into the kiss before kissing him back. You two pulled away when you need air, pressing your foreheads together.

"I missed doing that," Peter whispered so lowly only you could have heard. You gave him a smile and another peck on the lips before cupping his cheeks.

"Welcome back, lovebirds," Tony yelled before the group ran over and gave you the biggest hug you've ever had.

"You little shit, you scared us half to death!"

"If you do that again I will kill you slowly." 

"I'm sorry to do that but it was the only way to get you back!"

"It's good to see you again, kid." 

"We missed you so much!" You heard what they were saying even if they were overlapping. You let out some tears as you hugged them all tightly. You forgot how many people care about you, you swore you'll make sure you'll never forget that again.

"I know, I'm sorry I left." You moved your face to the monster himself, Arthur, "It won't happen again." and you detached yourself from the group to walk over to Arthur.

"What... just happened here?" Arthur looks around the group confusion showing in his eyes. You stood there with stone-cold gaze as you glare at him.

"Something you wouldn't know, true love." You lifted your chin and narrow your eyes at him as he watched you with shock all over his face. He stared before chuckling to himself making you glower.

"You think that's true love? Only I know what true love is and I gave that to you." He walked closer to you, trying to make you stand down but you won't, "And you threw that all away. You'll never know what true love feels like." 

"No, what you gave me wasn't true love. Even if it was..." You gripped the necklace that he gave you days ago, "Your love stinks." You ripped it off your neck and threw it to the ground. You start walking toward him as he slowly backs away.

"You think I'll let you catch me, No one would even suspect me." He smirks making you smirk as you motion to the people behind you.

"Yeah, no one, No one except for The Avengers." You smirk as you snapped your fingers, "I think we found our criminal. Take him away." 

"With pleasure," Natasha smirks and walks toward Arthur before handcuffing him and taking him away, Steve following suit. You only relax as Arthur leaves the room. You turn around to see Peter walking toward you.

"Hey." You smiled at him, memories of you two when you were little flash around you.

"Hi." Peter smiled shyly at you before taking your hand and planting a small kiss on it. You let out a laugh before you wrap your arm around Peter's shoulder. 

"You saved me." You whispered quietly and for a moment you thought he didn't hear you. You let out a long breathe before giving your hairline a sweet kiss and looking in your eyes.

"I'll always protect you." You give him a smile before cuddling into Peter's side. You both looked at each other with content smiles.

[writing-in-april]

Solaris

Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

This is vaguely inspired by @imagining-in-the-margins part 9 of Here To Misbehave - go check it out it’s amazing!

Warnings- NSFW, public sex, oral sex (male receiving), fingering, swearing

A/N- There are real quotes from the movie in here but may not be in cinematic order, I got them from a quote website. Also the real Solaris movie is not 5 hours and is 166 minutes (it just feels ridiculously long).   

Masterlist

 Italics are Spencer’s translations.                                      

Spencer and I rarely had a chance to have date nights, because of our jobs we usually grabbed every spare little moment. Usually that resulted in spur of the moment 15 minute dates when we finally had some alone time away from the team. Luckily for our stressed out minds Hotch had finally put his foot down on letting the team have some vacation time. I still am not sure how he got Strauss to agree to a two week vacation.

The two of us now had two weeks to do whatever we wanted, so we agreed to a plan, Spencer would plan the first week and I would do the next. He had been tight lipped about all of his plans until we made our way to the car and he finally broke. He confessed that we were going to see an old film he loved- a Russian film to be exact from 1972 called Solaris.

Spencer always planned out the quirkiest dates, while most people would be put off by movies that I couldn’t even understand or bookstores that were filled with academic books, it made him even more special in my eyes. During the entire ride to the cinema he gave me various facts about this obnoxiously long movie we were about to see (5 hours to be exact), letting me in on all the knowledge he kept up in his gorgeous brain.

“Did you know that the film was written Andrei Tarkovsky and Fridrikh Gorenshtein to attempt to give sci-fi films more emotional depth? They viewed western works in the genre as shallow due to their focus on technological inventions.”  He rambled out at impressive speed as we pulled up to the small rundown cinema. Spencer often planned out dates here because they willingly showed foreign and obscure indie films, which he found more appealing over mainstream blockbusters. Plus the yellow tinged cinema lights and old time ticket booths gave off a vintage vibe that we both reveled in.

We made our way up to the ticket booth, my heels making Spencer slow his lanky strides significantly. I could tell he really wanted to sprint to get inside as quick as possible, he hadn’t seen this film in forever and it was one of his favorites. We finally reached the gate where a obviously bored teenage worker took our money and seemingly rolled his eyes at the movie we said we were watching. To a teenager what kind of couple would consider an old Russian film as a romantic movie. We grabbed our tickets, egregiously priced soda and a large popcorn that was probably going to be confiscated by Spencer halfway through the movie.

The theatre was completely empty, not surprising considering how obscure the film was. Spencer picked out seats right in the middle which gave us the best view of the large screen. I sat down in the plush red velvet vintage seats plopping down my soda into the cup holder and letting myself get comfortable. Spencer sat to the left of me already claiming the popcorn for himself as we snuggled up to prepare for the 5 hour movie we were about to watch.

The film started right on time, there weren’t any commercials (for once) and Spencer leaned in close to me to begin translating the film once he realized there were no subtitles. He seemed almost giddy to translate every word that I was undoubtedly missing that I was sincerely glad that the theatre hadn’t turned on subtitles. I loved seeing Spencer happy over quirky things. Though instead of being focused on the translations my mind fixated on how seductive the situation was.

I wondered if he knew what he was doing to me, his lips were a ghost around the shell of my ear as he quietly translated the Russian film. He always carted around an innocent persona wherever he went, not letting it get sullied by his work or the countless amounts of books he read.

“You're human. Each in your own way. That's why you argue."

I could feel the wetness steadily pooling in my panties as he continued to speak, being blissfully ignorant of the naughty thoughts running rampant in my head. Only he could make a sci-fi movie from the 70s about fictional planets sound sexy.

“Who was it? She died 10 years ago." 

“What you saw was the materialization of your conception of her.”

“Incidentally, consider yourself lucky. After all she's part of your past. What if it had been something you had never seen before, but something you had thought or imagined."

His endearing innocence was almost painful, I knew he was missing the cues of my flushed cheeks, wriggling thighs, and heavy breathing. It wasn’t like we weren’t intimate as a couple but even when he was dominate I was usually the one to initiate sex. He always told me that even though we had been together for a long time he got caught up in the fact that someone wanted to fuck him. That conversation usually turned into me showing him how much I fucking loved him and how he could be shy just not insecure in our relationship.

I decided that I would have to be the one tonight to coax him into doing something in public. I had confessed before that It was one of my kinks but this would be the first time I would attempt to do it with him.

I grabbed his hand that was situated on my upper thigh and slowly dragged it up the coarse fabric of my jean shorts. Once his nimble fingers caught on the button Spencer’s brain restarted and he pulled away slightly in protest. He was feebly trying to pretend that the idea of fingering his girlfriend in a theatre wasn’t the hottest thing in the world.

“W-we shh-ouldn’t be doing this y/n!!!!” He whisper shouted at me meekly. I gripped his hand harder keeping it in position as my other hand undid the button of my shorts.

“If you’re really uncomfortable I’ll stop, but I just find the idea of doing something so risqué exciting. Don’t you?” I shot right back at him with a coy smile and I knew I had him right where I wanted him. He still looked hesitant but started to move his hand under my shorts on his own. I gasped quietly as his fingers bypassed my shorts and snuck right under my panties. His full attention was on me now totally forgetting his previous job of translating the film for me. He finally breached my folds feeling just how wet he had gotten me just from translating an obscure Russian film.

“See how wet I am Spence? It’s all for you.” I purred, grinding my hips onto his hand to try and gain some delicious friction. He seemed to be in a trance his only goal to please me, his gorgeous fingers started to circle around my entrance teasing me ever so slightly.

“Spencer stop teasing if you aren’t prepared to be punished” My threat got through to him and he slowly entered his middle finger making me quietly moan out. I grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him into a heated kiss to muffle my moans. The kiss was all tongue and teeth as he curled his finger to hit my g-spot which made me gasp into his mouth.

“More Spence-“

He thankfully listened to my plead and added another finger, my walls stretched around them giving me pain added with pleasure. To give me even more stimulation his thumb found my clit running in tight circles. I was approaching my orgasm almost embarrassingly quickly, Spencer knew my body better then I did at this point. Both of my hands pulled at his hair trying to force him as close as possible to my body. I screwed my eyes shut as I was shoved off the proverbial cliff. I could hear the faint sounds of Russian scientists from the film in the background which only added to the high, the idea of getting caught just made it so much better.

Spencer continued to stimulate my clit until I rode out my high, he then turned back to the film. He was trying to hide the fact that he was rock hard from watching me fall apart in a matter of minutes on his fingers. An evil idea snuck inside my brain, he had given me an orgasm but I wasn’t done with him yet. After I had recovered My hand moved over from my lap and gripped his thigh mimicking his earlier position. He hadn’t started translating the film again and was uncharacteristically silent. I waited for a few minutes before I enacted my plan the only thing I was doing was slowly inching my hand up his thigh.

“Start translating the film again pretty boy” I whispered while pawing at the button on his pants, I wanted to repay the favor of a mind blowing orgasm. He looked at me with slight hesitation when I dropped down to the floor but he was to far gone to stop me at this point.

“Y-yoou want to destroy that which we are presently incapable of underssstanding? Forgive me but am not advocate of knowledge at any price."

I smirked to myself as I freed him from the confines of his slacks and boxers, his translations had become a stuttering mess and I hadn’t even touched him yet. He was already painfully hard, the head was an angry red with precum dribbling down. I firmly gripped him relishing in the little gasp that already escaped his mouth.

“Spencer we are in public, your going to have to only translate if you want me to touch you at all” My voice took on a deadly sinister tone reserved for unsubs or Spencer when he was being particularly subby.

He nodded and I fully immersed myself into giving him the best blowjob of his life. I slowly dragged my tongue up his length savoring every time he choked on his words, his thighs were tensing and his hands were white knuckle gripped around the arm rests. My mouth then finally fully enveloped his length finally giving him the relief he was looking for. As I began to take him further into my mouth his quiet whispers jumped an octave, he didn’t let himself moan, he knew what kind of punishment he would get if he dared to break my rules. The head of his member hit the back of my throat and spit started to drool out of my mouth, I looked up at him menacingly, daring him moan out.

“Remember Tol-stoy? His suffffering over the impossibility of loving mankind as a whole? How much time has passed since then? Somehow I ca-nn’t figure it out. Help meeee-Fffuck! Y/N!”

He whimpered out, I smirked around his length in satisfaction- I had broken him. I evilly released his length with a pop, he whined pathetically in protest at the loss of stimulation.

“If you had just followed the rules baby boy maybe I would’ve let you cum” I teased while sliding back into the theatre chair and turned back pretending to enjoy the rest of the movie. He still hadn’t torn his beautiful caramel eyes away from me, it almost looked like he was going to cry.

“Please Y/n I’ve been so good until now! I made you cum earlier, please please!!” He was unashamedly begging now, I quirked my eyebrow in surprise, he usually didn’t beg this fast. I leaned over to whisper in his ear mirroring his position from earlier.

“I’ll let you off easy this time pretty boy- but- when we get home you better put in the work and please me. Understand?” His head bobbed up and down eagerly, he was relieved he would actually be able to cum tonight. I dropped back down to my previous position in front of him and took him back into my mouth, he immediately went back to translating the film not wanting to get edged for the second time that night. One of my hands gripped his hips while the other felt underneath his boxers and caressed his balls, I could tell he was close. He came soon after in hot spurts down my throat, I swallowed every drop while I looked up in awe at him savoring how I made him fall apart. Spencer’s breath was ragged as he came down from his salacious climax, I tucked him back into his slacks and once again sat back into the plush velvet seats.

“Holy fuck” he said uncharacteristically after he snapped out of his reverie.

“Shh, Spence I’m watching the film!” I said cheekily, he glared back at me with a glint in his eye. I could tell even though he initially protested he thoroughly loved our carnal adventure. Spencer resumed his translating and I was surprised that we were only around halfway through the movie.

Once the movie was over we passed through the cinema as quick as possible ready to continue the nights adventures at home as promised. We got into Spencer’s Volvo and he stopped to stare at me for a moment before we left the parking lot. My eyebrows furrowed as i looked at him curiously wondering why he suddenly paused.

“See, I love you. But love is a feeling we can experience but never explain. One can explain the concept. You love that which you can lose: Yourself, a woman, a homeland. Until today, love was simply unattainable to mankind, to the earth. Maybe we are here to experience people as a reason for love." I recognized the quote from the movie we had just seen, and even though we said declarations of love often this one felt a little more special.

“I love you too Spence” I said through my watering eyes. He gave me a loving smile and started the car so we could go home to continue the night.

—————

[kippykasey]

Snowdrop Chpt 3

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 5033

Series Summary: Bringing Zemo in to help fight against the rise of the new group of super soldiers brings in a new, yet famailiar face into the mix.

Chapter Summary: Sharon uses her contacts to find out information about Nagel. Meanwhile, Bucky and (Y/N) do a little catching up. Sharon's lead sends them to the docks to confront the man behind the serum.

Chapter Warnings: Episode level violence. Brief mentions of injuries and blood.

A/N: So this chapter took me a while and it kind of took a mind of it's own. There is a character mentioned in this chapter I can not take credit for and that will be 'Ghost'. Credit for that character goes to @darke-15 who is one of my favorite authors with an amazing story in which reader is 'Ghost', so big thanks for letting me borrow your character for a chapter!

Disclaimer: All languages that are not English were provided by Google translator with the translations following in bolden italics. Gifs used were found under the gif tab provided by tumblr.

Catch up on Snowdrop here: (1) (2)

“Well this is too perfect.” A female voice came from the hooded figure. Zemo turned around, The female sounding figure, while pointing the guy towards Zemo, reached up and pulled down the hood. The face revealed was familiar, at least to most of the group. “Drop it, Zemo.” Zemo set down the gun he had in hand while Bucky stepped forward looking confused. “Sharon?”

The blonde woman stepped forward, gun raised pointed at Bucky. (Y/N) moved to step forward but Sam grabbed her arm to keep her in place. “You cost me everything.” She mentioned in a low voice. “Sharon, wait,” something was kicked as she approached the four person group as Sam tried to explain what was going on to the woman, “Someone recreated the super-soldier serum and Zemo had a lead.” Her head nodded to the side in understanding. “That explains why you guys are here. And Selby’s dead.” The woman’s eyes looked at Bucky like she blamed him. “So what are you doing here?” Bucky asked and his tone was almost gentle as he spoke to the woman. “I stole Steve’s shield, remember? I also took the wings for your ass,” The gun moved to point at Sam then to Bucky before landing on Zemo again, “so that you could save his ass from his ass.” (Y/N) who was pretty hidden from Sharon’s view was smiling at her comment.

“I didn’t have the Avengers to back me up. So I’m off the grid in Madripoor.” Sharon shrugged her shoulders finally lowering the gun. “Don’t blow smoke. I was on the run too.” Sam’s town was low and serious as his attention was focused on Sharon. “Was. Is. Big difference. I don’t speak to my family anymore. I can’t. My father doesn’t know where I am.” Sharon spoke and this whole conversation was starting to confuse the other woman who wasn’t around for the events that were being discussed. “Listen, Sharon was it? We need your help blondie.” (Y/N) tells her as she steps up into sight between Zemo and Bucky. Sharon looked her over as she let out a chuckle. “Please.” Bucky adds stepping up next to his old teammate. Sharon let out a sigh as she shook her head slightly. “This isn’t over. I have a place up in High Town. You’ll be safe there.”

Bucky, without asking or offering, scooped the nurse next to him up into his arms. “Don’t argue, you kicked off your shoes and I’m not letting you cut your feet on something.” The rumble of his chest reminded her of a time where the only person she could trust was him. She simply nods her head, glancing over the leather jacket to see Sam push Zemo forward. The group made their way to Sharon’s car that she drove over to her place in High Town.

“Looks like breaking all those laws is treating you well.” Sam comments as he takes in the place the blonde woman was staying. “I thought if I had to hustle, I might as well enjoy the life of a real hustler. You know how much I’ll get for a real Monet?” She gestured to one of the paintings on display as she talked. “Ey easy. Deactivate your hustle mode. You sell fake Monets.” Sam tried to correct her but Zemo cut him off. “No, she means real. This gallery is specialized in stolen artwork. Monet. Van Gogh. Classics.” Y/N nods from Bucky’s side. “It’s true, Wilson.” She confirms before Bucky adds his own confirmation, “You know, half the artwork in museums like the Louvre is fake. Real stuff sits in places like this.”

“Okay guys, I see what you’re doing here. You’re more worldly than good old Sam.” The southern man spoke, pulling out his phone to google the truth. Deciding to catch up with Sharon and Zemo who had kept walking, the lone female of the group giggled as she passed by Sam. “Yeah. What’s google say?” Bucky asked, patting his friend’s shoulder as he passed following his old partner. “No shit.” Sam muttered before Sharon called back to them to change before her clients arrived in an hour. Sharon left the men with a cart of clothes before dragging the other female with her to another room to change.

Sharon led them back into the main room where the three men were left. She commented on Sam's change of clothes, or middle of change considering he was still shirtless. Y/N, now dressed in a navy blue dress pant-suit that was surprisingly comfortable and easy to move in, moved to sit on the couch next to Bucky. She reached over to smooth out the lapels of the black jacket the former soldier now wore. She could hear Sam questioning Sharon about why she never came back and how Sharon would be locked up if she returned. Yet hearing Sharon talk badly about the shield drew the nurse’s attention to her rambling about hero business being hypocrisy. “He knows. And not so deep down.” Zemo comments holding a drink in his hand. “By the way, how is the new Cap?” Sharon asked making Bucky’s eye’s roll as he replied, “Don’t get me started.”

Sharon scoffs as she moved towards the couch. “Please. You buy into all that stars and stripes bullshit.” The silent nurse shifts uncomfortably as she listens to the conversation. “Before you were his pet psychopath you were Mr. America! Cap’s best friend.” Bucky could probably feel the tension growing between the two females that were now seated on either side of him. “Wow. She’s kind of awful now.” The 106 year old man’s face was blank as he glanced up at Sam who was adjusting the neck of a shirt deciding it best to change topic. “Karli Morgenthau and at least seven others have taken the serum.” Sharon shakes her head at the statement “You guys really should steer clear of all of this for your own safety.”

Y/N stands up rubbing her palms over her hips before stepping around the couch to stand behind Bucky. “Sure there is a risk sweetheart but until I… we find out who cracked the code,” She started correcting herself as she spoke. Although his face was as blank as ever a metal hand reached up and back to rest on the hand just next to his shoulder. It wasn’t much but the nonverbal comfort that was given was enough. “We got a name,” the dark head of hair leaned back till the nurse could see the blue eyes she had known for years, “Wilfred Nagel.” Sharon’s eyebrows scrunched together before she moved off the couch, “Nagel works for the Power Broker.”

Sam bargained for Sharon’s help in exchange for clearing her name. Meanwhile the nurse was behind Bucky muttering, “We don’t really need her. Just give us a few hours and we can do it ourselves.” The small tug of a smirk against the stubble jawline of Barnes could be seen before he shook his head slightly. “Trust, doc.” His voice rumbled like low thunder as he spoke to her. She was never one to jump full into a plan without looking at all possibilities, which is why Steve always liked her opinion back in the war.

“They cleared the bionic staring machine, and he killed almost everybody he’s met.” Sam’s comment on Bucky drew the nurse’s attention back to the main conversation in the room. “I heard that.” Bucky comments as the nurse moves back around the couch to sit back down next to her dark haired friend. “I don’t trust charity.” Sharon mentions. The nurse groans dramatically, making the room turn towards her. “She’s as stubborn as Peggy. Look toots, it’s not a hand out. You’re doin’ a job. You’re going to help us and in exchange bird-man is gonna get your name cleared.” Sharon took that as a deal and agreed to help using her sellers as a network to find out what she can, leaving instructions to lay low and blend in before she heads to the front to start greeting guests.

The four still sitting in the back didn’t move for a moment. Zemo was sipping from a tumbler, probably a whiskey, which Sam moved over to the other two. “So what did you mean earlier about you and Bucky being seen together?” The room again lulled into silence before the woman hummed and looked from her hands to Sam. “In the days of the Winter Soldier, seeing us together meant death, if you didn’t die that day you would die in a year. Seeing just me represented mercy, if you saw me alone the chances were the Winter Soldier wouldn’t kill you. That’s why I was Snowdrop. The meaning and folklore around the flower was my duty, besides keeping the soldier in prime condition”

“She also was his partner. On a mission if she was not nursing an injury it was her job to cover his right side, the side deemed weaker without the metal arm. She was trained to stay out of his way but move in tandem with him, like magnets.” Zemo added to the woman’s explanation. The nurse stood up from the couch. “It’s in the past. I am not Snowdrop. Just like Bucky is not the Winter Soldier. I’ll see you gentlemen out there.” She left the three men in the room alone. Sam turned his head towards Bucky silently asking if there was more to the story. The man shook his head pushing up from the couch. “Come on, we should blend in.”

The music was definitely not anything Bucky or Y/N were used to. The two war vets met by the bar, both nursing a tumbler of whiskey over ice. “Where did you go after you got out?” If it wasn’t from years of memorizing the tone and every aspect of the voice talking to her (Y/N) might not have heard him over the music. Her eyes glanced up at his as she stepped around to his left side, a nonverbal ask of permission to touch his arm. The man let out a soft grunt, raising the glass to his lips. Sliding into the spot next to him and placing his arm around her waist for casual onlookers she leaned up to talk.

“They were going to use me to get you back, Zemo let me out when he found out HYDRA’s next plan for us. They were going to force Project Chroma onto me...us. I was to be transferred to the lab when my escape happened. First thing I did was go home. Security sure has changed in the years. I saw the war monument in Washington. I got to see the tribute made out to Rogers at the Smithsonian where you were mentioned." She bumped her hip gently against his and even caught a small smile before it was covered by the glass of whiskey. She took her own sip before continuing, walking with the man as he led the way around the outer perimeter of the room. "Most action I got to see since my escape besides what is going on now was the slight trouble I got in with my new hacking hobby and helping someone." Bucky's blue eyes glanced down at her. "I shouldn't be surprised you always were a bit of a tech nerd. What about this person you helped? That's dangerous for you right now until you get pardoned." His hand brushed over her lower back as she turned to face him. "Now listen here James I made an oath when I became a medic, I was going to help everyone I could if I was able to so that's what I did. Now hush or you won't get the story before Sam tracks you down." From the way her eyes darted across the dance floor Barnes knew she had a location on all of their friends. He nods his head pressing his lips into a firm line.

"Zemo called me. Needed me to be ready for a job he was doing. Flew me out to Vienna, Austria. I was there the day you were framed for that bombing Buck." She rubbed a hand over her face thinking back on the day and how worried she got for him after that day. "I was okay, sugar. Now tell me about this kid you helped." Bucky soothed pulling her closer the way his arm felt around (Y/N) was always comforting to her. Maybe it was how safe he made her feel and knowing the damage that arm could do. Her fingers brushed over the metal plating of his left hand.

"They sped up on this bike, jumped off it and were heading straight for the building like they knew what was going to happen and needed to warn everyone. They never made it inside. The explosion, it...it seemed to trigger something and they froze. Just standing there. Something fell from above, a piece of concrete you know the kind with the support pipes, it caught them on the way down. Person was unconscious and more debris was falling. I did the only thing I could think of, took them back to my hotel a block away, away from curious eyes. They woke up when I was laying out the first aid kit.

I nearly got punched in the face if it wasn't for working with you. Stubborn kid that one was, laceration from shoulder to inner elbow on the right side, dislocated shoulder, and there were already some previous injuries. The kid called themselves 'Ghost' so I told them to call me 'Grace'. Fixed them up and sent them on their way with the car I was using to get out of there. After that I went to Visit graves.."

Bucky was quiet for a moment before ducking his head down towards her ear. "Hearing someone call you Grace got to you didn't it?" He asked as his mind went back to how he felt when Steve called him 'Bucky'. "Amazing Grace, Ghost said the whole thing when they left. I didn't think anyone would remember me as Amazing Grace after the war."

"Wait, you're Amazing Grace from Steve's war stories?" Sam's voice asked in shock over the music drawing the faux couple out of their own world to let him join. "Best nurse you may ever meet. Plus she always sang for the injured soldiers. Got the nickname Amazing Grace because that was her go to song and some of the men started to think she was an angel." Bucky looked down at the blushing nurse next to him, eyes swimming with pride and fondness for her, a smile teasing the corners of his mouth. Sam definitely took note of the change of attitude the grumpy old man always seemed to have after spending time with the woman who was so casually wrapped up next to the man that Sam wouldn't have believed it if he wasn't seeing it. The nurse patted the tall man's chest a few times before pointing into the crowd of partiers to where Zemo was doing his own dance.

【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】

Sharon was able to find the man they were looking for but by the time the guest had cleared and the trip to the docks was made it was light outside. Small conversation was made as Sharon led the way. With word that she would keep watch Sharon sent them inside after handing over an ear piece to each of them. Sam opened the door to the container. Bucky and (Y/N) exchanged a look and there was something in his eyes that she knew meant that he was worried for her. The container was empty upon entry. Yet that was soon disproven by Zemo and his flashlight finding a secret door within the back wall. Zemo pushed open the door as the other three drew a gun. Sam moved to the font of the line followed by Zemo. Bucky kept an eye on the back with (Y/n) between him and the German man.

Music was playing, masking the sound of their entry. The hidden lab was dimly lit with fluorescent light casting a gray tinge over everything. The nurse took a silent deep breath as she took in the lab around her. She could remember the day Erskine brought her in see him work on the serum used on Steve Rogers. She could remember the failed attempts she had in the HYDRA labs and the even worse side affects her body went through upon testing. All the flashes of the serum in her brain and the trouble it caused made her uneasy for a moment as she took a small step closer to Barnes, his eye catching the movement and moving to cover her.

Sam and Bucky lead the way towards Nagel while (Y/N) stays at Zemo’s side. Bucky pulled the needle from the playing record making the music stop. Nagel turned from his workstation to find out why his music stopped only to let out a gasp at the sight of Sam standing there with a gun. “Dr. Nagel?”

“Who are you? What do you want?” The doctor questioned quickly, probably nervous. Sam rose his head slightly and his voice was gentle when he answered. “We know you created the super-soldier serum.” That did not trigger a positive response as the doctor stepped forward ordering him to “Get out of my lab.” The doctor walked past Sam as if to escort him out but froze upon seeing the former Winder Soldier standing there, dark ice blue eyes locked onto him. “You know who he is, right?” Sam’s voice was still calm as ever even as the doctor stepped back away from the direction of Barnes and turned towards the other blocked direction where Zemo and the nurse stood. “This is Baron Zemo. I know you’ve heard of him too, right? Maybe even her?”

The doctor was escorted by Sam to the more open area. Zemo followed him as (Y/N) stepped up to the workstation to take a look at just what they were making the serum with. “You seem like a smart guy. So you better become conversational real quick.” A slight rattle drew her attention back to the doctor and the interrogation that would soon occur. “How about a counter proposal?” The doctor offered, “Make me a better offer and I’ll talk.” Sharon’s hushed voice came through the earpiece warning them of some company arriving outside. The lone female in the lab stepped forward into the doctor’s line of sight. She moved forward with a sweet smile on her face before reaching up to grab the collar of his shirt to force him down into a chair. “Look here doctor, I’m a pretty patient lady, but if you don’t start talking he’ll start shooting. Got it? Now I’m not too happy about you messing around with my serum.” There was a brief glance towards Bucky as she spoke to the doctor, a firm tone hardening her voice. She didn’t ever realize how she had referred to the serum as hers, which in a sense it could be after Erskine’s death she was the only one that knew how to do it.

When Nagel didn’t respond but just glared at her a warning shot was fired off behind his head before the gun moved back to pointing at the side of his head. “Okay, okay. I was brought into HYDRA’s Winter Soldier program to pick up her work, after the five failed test subjects in Siberia. When HYDRA fell I was recruited by the CIA. They had blood samples from an American test subject with semi-stable traces of serum in his system.” (Y/N) listened, taking a small step back just barely catching a glimpse of a small head shake from Bucky as he looked at Sam. “After much labor, I was able to isolate the necessary compounds in his blood. I was a god-” The woman standing in front of the doctor raised her gun aiming it right between his eyes as she cut him off, “You are not a god.” Buck made a nonverbal command for Sam to move over towards the nurse who seemed to be taking this harder than anticipated. “I did what no other scientist since Erskine was able to do.” The doctor completely ignored the woman as he spoke to Sam. Zemo moved from the woman’s side to walk around and look at the equipment in the lab. “But mine was going to be different. No clunky machines,” A dig at the radiation chamber used to help Steve, “or jacked up bodies.” A dig at Bucky. “Mine was going to be subtle, optimized, perfect.”

The woman narrowed her eyes at Nagel. She wanted to punch him, it was almost like an insult to herself the way he spoke about her work. She had been there right next to Erskine the day Steve received the serum. She had given Rogers the morphine before he entered the chamber. She had read over Erskine’s destroyed notes so many times the day before because she was scared for the test subject’s safety. Then when HYDRA captured her and she was forced to start recreating it she refused to try it on anyone but herself. The amount of times a HYDRA agent found her near death was probably close to a dozen before she perfected it enough to start inducing it on Bucky. Sergeant Barnes was so weak the first time she gave him a shot of the serum, a test to see if his body could handle it. When she was contacted and brought back, it was a life or death situation that led to her giving the remaining required dose of the serum to Bucky.

“How have we never heard of this?” Sam’s voice brought her back to the present. Her eyes glanced over at the other super soldier and he was already looking at her. Bucky had seen her far off expression. He almost wished she was outside helping Sharon. “Because before I was able to complete my work, I turned to dust. Then when I returned, it was five years later, and the program had been abandoned so I came here. The Power Broker was more than happy to fund the recreation of my work.” The doctor explained the woman in the room taking a step back to recollect herself. She really wanted to put a bullet through this Power Broker at the moment. “How many vials did you make?” She asked as calmly as possible, trying to match Sam but she could hear how annoyed she was. “Twenty. Karli Morgenthau stole those, so.. Could only imagine what the Power Broker has planned for that poor girl.”

“Where is Karli now?” Sam asked as the nurse looked over her shoulder at Zemo. The two made eye contact and in that moment a silent understanding was passed between the two. “I don’t know but a couple of days ago she called and asked if I could help someone named Donya Madani. Poor woman has tuberculosis. Typical of overpopulation in displacement camps like that.” Nagel explains as Zemo came back to rejoin the circle. “What happened to her?” Sam’s question didn’t get a direct answer since the doctor didn’t care to find out since it wasn’t his business. “Is there any serum in this lab?” Bucky questioned, looking down at the man. His jaw clenched and unclenched as he waited for the response. When the man did nothing but look at him Barnes pushed the barrel of his gun to the side of the man’s head earning a quick ‘No’.

“Now what?” Bucky wonders aloud looking towards the other three, not moving his gun from the man’s head until he sees Sharon enter. “Guys, we’re seriously outta time here.” Sharon insists, her entrance being just enough of a distraction for Zemo to raise the gun he had found strapped under one of the lab tables and shoot Doctor Nagel. Sam pinned Zemo to the wall as Sharon knocked the gun out of the baron’s hand. (Y/N) quickly moved to the doctor, the impact of the shot having knocked him back in the chair and falling backwards. “What did you do?” Sharon asked in a panicked voice. The nurse checked for a pulse but the man was dead. “He’s gone.”

An explosion broke out as something shot into the lab. Bucky grabbed onto his old friend/partner and covered her from the blast as he dove out of the way. An emergency alarm sounded out against the slight ring caused from the explosion. Groans came from everyone as they recollected themselves to get up and move. Bucky and (Y/N) were the first to move onto their hands and knees given the enhancement provided from the serum. “You good?” Bucky breathed out as he struggled to get up. “M’fine.” She muttered using something near her to push herself up before helping him stand. Things were shaking, glass items clinking together. “This place is going to blow, we have to move fast.” She urged Bucky forward as she began to move both of them looking back at beakers of chemicals. “Anyone see Zemo?” Sam wheezed before (Y/n) helped him up from the ground as the chivalrous Barnes helped Sharon up. “Let’s go.” He ordered. The lab explosion happened right behind the two super soldiers that kept the other two moving.

The four now, without the sign of Zemo, were now outside where the company was waiting for the smoke to clear to take fire. “All right, wait for my signal!” Bucky instructed but went unheard as bullets started to ping off the shipping container around them. Sam shot back as he moved in a different direction. Sharon and (Y/N) followed Bucky around the other way, guns at the ready. It sounded like fireworks with the amount of bullets being shot through the air. Only a few actually hit a target. Sam was taking cover already when the three arrived, Sharon moving to cover Wilson as he reloaded. “And you like living here?” Sam asked in an exasperated yell to Sharon to be heard over the gun fire that sounded way too much like a war field. “It’s not terrible.” The woman behind Sharon scoffed at the answer as she and Bucky shot at targets in opposite directions, each covering the other’s blind spot.

Bucky’s gun clicked a few times proving it was empty. He let out a short frustrated yell, something (Y/N) wasn’t used to coming from him since way back in the days of the Howling Commandos when his gun would jam. He rushed back under better coverage calling over to Sam, “I thought we were going left?” Sam glanced over his shoulder for a moment to the man yelling at him.

“You went the wrong way!” Sam points to him as he yelled back

“I cleared the way!”

“I came out first. You’re supposed to follow me.”

“And where are we now?”

“Guys, not the time!” Sharon called back to them from where she was still shooting nearing the end of her ammo. From across from her (Y/n) was in the same situation as she called back. “We can sign you two up for couple’s therapy later!” The nurse called back completely unaware of the therapy session the two have already been through together. “I’m out!” Sharon called, ducking back out of direct fire. A moment later the other female ducked back too, “So am I.” The two men are still arguing over who should have led. None of them were prepared for a second explosion. Recovering from having to quickly duck and cover from the flames they all looked out to see a masked Zemo jumping into action taking care of the remaining men. Bucky tapped on Sharon’s back, “Go.” Sharon jumped into action and made a run for it, “Come on. Let’s go.”

There were still bullets being fired rapidly as they wove through the maze of shipping containers. Opening up an empty container to hide inside didn’t help as they were quickly located and shot at. Sam and Sharon were already inside. With his left hand Bucky broke off the metal lock bar off the container while pushing (Y/n) inside with his right. He used the bar to knock one man unconscious before turning, raising the bar like a spear and throwing it with the left arm with enough force to pin another person through their shoulder to a shipping container. “Come on, let's go.” Sam grabbed onto Bucky’s jacket pulling him into the container.(Y/n) walked through the dark metal box to the other side. Bucky bit the other doors with his metal fist before she could even lift her leg to break it open. As they stepped out of the container screeching tires alerted them to a fast approaching vehicle. Zemo rounded the corner in a supercharged Pontiac Firebird.

“You’re going back to jail.” Was the first thing out of Sam’s mouth as they all glared at the man. “Do you want to find Karli or not?” Zemo asked, turning his head away and then back to them. “He’s right. We need him.” Bucky looks at Sam as he helps (Y/N) into the back seat of the car. “There’s three of us and at least twenty of them.” The super soldier says as he gets into the car himself. “Fine but if you try that shit again.” Sam’s voice was hard as he pointed at Zemo while climbing into the back. “Wouldn’t dream of it.” Zemo states as Bucky turns to glare at him.

“Well that was one hell of a reunion.” Sharon sighs, closing the car door for them. Sam tried to bring her back again but she refused to go without the pardon. That was when they parted ways with Sharon Carter. Sharon walked one way while Zemo drove off in the other heading back towards the airstrip to leave Mandripoor behind them.

[foryouthegays]

techno liveblog w timestamps lets go for ‘a new home (dream SMP)’ stream

good laugh times: 00:13:50, 00:14:55, 1:38:45, ik it doesnt look like a lot but like u should watch the stream anyway bc philzas there and his laugh is amazing and they just go so well together

times techno calls phil his friend: 00:6:00 00:37:00, 00:45:17, 0:1:09:30, 01:11:15, 01:26:35, 01:50:05, 2:35:00

FSDJKFAF;LS HE KEPT THE MUTED INTRO IN JHKADFLS (ends at 00:1:25)

i like how, when faced with Leaving Youtube, techno would choose to be an author. i want a book by techno. reblog this if u want a book by techno (with an audiobook by him as well) /hj. 00:1:33

i love how he says ehhhhhh so much lskjhdfas (abt 2 mins in) 

who the FUCK just remembers that the word fortuitous exists wtf 00:5:17

00:7:45 PHILZA TIME PHILZA TIME LETS GO

00:8:55 tommy time :/

0:14:10 rANBOO JUST WALKS IN, LOOKS AROUN ,AND LEA VE SIM CRYING 

i love how much philza laughs at technos jokes bc pretty much everything he says IS a joke he just says it in such a serious voice that p much everyone else is like,,,yeah,,,,yup,,,,and phil just knows when hes joking and his laugh is so good with technos voice. sbi? whos that? i only know philza and technoblade

00:19:30 ghostbur joins! this is my first time hearin ghostbur btw

00:19:40 haha string axe technos so bad at crafting what a fool /j

00:21:07 ghostbur: “Even I remember how to make a fishing rod!” ghostbur u just MURDERED technoblade oh my god im gonna scream hgjdfksla i love ghostbur so much

00:23:55: GHOSTBUR NO!! DON’T DIE YOU’LL BECOME A DOUBLE GHOST!!!! -technoblade 2020

00:24:55 technoblade neva lies -guys he almost did the technoblade neva dies ahh!!!!!

i havent heard anyone talk about this but techno has a dedicated roleplay voice. like listen to him talk to tommy at 00:25:08. his voice gets more even, he uses names a lot more often (seriously, listen to his theseus speech. he says tommy so often, its incredible.), and his voice gets,,,,deeper? not deeper but smoother, in a way, and he repeats what he says for emphasis instead of humor. and his voice is louder, and he seems more assertive. 

00:27:30 philza: where we goin, by the way? techno: to our- to my new home. 

techno cmon let phil live w u wed get so much more content cmonn

00:28:50 the fact that he calls the manhunt theme “dream music” makes me laugh so hard. and then his version of it,,,,,m love he (also he sings it here and at  01:14:20)

00:35:10 why is ranboo so cryptic im-

why does he just casually know the word sentry wh at i hate him 00:39:45

this is the worst sentence (structurally) ive ever heard techno say im gonna cry 00:49:33 ‘im too busy thinkin of new ideas to sleep so i could actually execute them’ and tubbos *oh?* after is just hdsfgkjlka

LKSJDHFJK 00:51:49

00:54:30

techno: thats one of dreams powers, he can just stop the rain

tubbo, quietly: like jesus!

i love them sm dsfhkjla they kept going but i jus gdfhjksa jesus has op

techno @ being the second worst thing to ever happen to those orphans: haha funnie!!

techno @ having fun w religious stuff: i wILL BE CANCELLED NO-

00:58:10 “hey if ur [ghostbur]  a ghost, do instant damage potions heal you now?” “...no,, they hurt me still :(” DSIULZKJHFSLKFJH 

01:04:00 his brother named the cow bob im- aww 

also he has a fanart wall again!!!

01:09:30 “phil, you’re the only friend i have left in this world.” aWWWWW HE GAVE HIM THE COMPASS 

“dont smoke, it’s a joke” -technoblade 01:14:15

ROLEPLAY SPEECH VOICE IS BACK AT 1:16:10 “they pillage my base for everything i’m worth, they use me for the revolution, but oooOOOoo i took a pickaxe with his consent? oOOOooOo i’m a thief!”

holy shit 01:17:15 “you know what, phil? for you, the world, alright? it’s fine.” oH MY GOD HHHHGHG (context, right before they were arguing bc phil took some blocks from his base and techno thought that when he said phil could take anything he meant from the chests)

the COMIDY of that villager coming in and sleeping while techno was readin donos at 01:22:05 RIGHT AFTER phil freaked out abt inturruptin his dono readin im SFDHKJLA:

techno talkin bout the winstreak and how he wont be able to live up to that sort of playin at 01:22:30ish is super important and ill transcribe it tomorrow, but if u can id highly rec watchin it. 

01:24:20 “[readin dono] what’s your favorite movie? uh, the princess bride is pretty good” techno ily that movie rocks also he said it so fast like hes ashamed of it noo

techno says no to canon ranboo son btw! 01:25:30

01:25:55 “i wasnt in that story, therefore it doesnt matter” all of technoblr be like 

01:37:49 is great lemmie transcribe

“how have you still not gotten a second monitor?? holy shit.”

“let me tell you something. and im only telling you this because i know that so many people in the chat are gonna be furious. so i recently realized- i think the second monitor can just be any ol’ monitor, right? you literally just plug it in, and its set up? well i mean you have to turn on some settings, but like, thats it, or something?”

“yeah,,,,, uh techno you fuckin destroyed my chat, by the way, oh my god, [earlier techno told his viewers to twitch prime philza] there has been like 40 primes just flying through”

“yeahhh twitch prime!!! twitch prime philza yeahh!!! so anyways the other day, i like, i looked to my left, and realized that my old monitor has been like, five feet away from where i sit and stream for the last three years?”

“oh my god...”

“so i- i literally do not have to leave my room to set up a second monitor and i havent. and i’m still usin my laptop for this stream.

“is this gonna be one of those situations where you like, you have a thing, you just refuse to do the thing?”

“listen, my desk is-

“yOU STILL HAVENT OPENED UP THE HYPIXEL PACKAGE!!!”

“AHHHH I HAVENT OPENED UP THE HYPIXEL PACKAGE! I HAVENT EVEN OPENED UP MY MCC COIN! DUDE I HAVENT EVEN OPENED UP MY ONE MILLION SUBSCRIBER PLAQUE! ITS STILL THERE RIGHT BEHIND ME! ITs sTILL IN THE BOX! i never made a video on it....”

“bruhhhhh [philza laughs] thats FREE VIEWS what are you doing??”

“ill open it at 8 mil :/.”

“you could LITERALLY make a video of you just like, throwing it off a wall, and then thumbing up, like doing a thumbs up, and then that would be it. 10 seconds. ten seconds. thumb and elbow in shot. [laughs]”

techno is such a disaster i love him

01:34:18 the way techno says “tommy, that statement has NEVER been true” i dont like sayin i simp for block men but GOD sometimes his voice is nicer than usual hhhgn

“man i sure wish tommyinnit was in this stream” -nobody ever (just after previous timestamp)

01:40:15 is fuckin hilarious and im actually crying oh my god techno just says things and says them well with a completely straight face how does he do it

i cannot WAIT until theres a president w the last/first name andy so we can say president andy and think abt technoblade

IM CRIASDNGUSFHD 01:44:38 PHILZA LOOK OUT LOOK OUT PHILZA  LSKJDAFJASD;LKF

i love when techno talks abt his vids. like u can tell he puts a lot of thought into the vids (esp these ones) and like at 01:47:00 he talks abt the “I DIDNT PUT DEAPTH STRIDER ON THOSE BOOTS, FUNDY!” and how its just that creepin realization that you were doomed from the start and how he made the armor, he isnt intimidated by the netherite bc he didnt enchant it all the way and only he knows that,,, and i just,,,hgg he

he reveals that hes writin the next arc at 01:48:00: “oh, speakin of arcs, chat, i’m writing the next arc. so, you know. hope nothin bad happens in two weeks, chat!” IM SO EXCITED like he clearly has his character fleshed out and is SO good at writing and retellin history im so so excited to see where he takes it AHHHH and also taht means he might stream more bc he might make his character more important (keep in mind this is the guy who wrote self insert hypixel fanfics. he has no shame in puttin himself first and i respect him so much for it) 

01:51:20 “they’re tryin to get a second customer but they’re riskin their first” is lowkey a good line

has anyone else noticed that techno says wise a lot? like at 01:55:10 he literally says “wise dragon armor” as a joke but like i think he says wise so much BECAUSE of skyblock like hjkfdsla

01:57:30 techno plea se eat 

ok 1:58:45 is hilarious and all but at the end of his ramble he says “come back, i miss you” and lowkey im crying 

techno needs to stop knowing his audience more than we know ourselves im hsfkjda 02:05:25 “the chat’s spammin ‘eat technoblade, eat!’ like they’re not gonna start, like, theyre not gonna get super sad if i ended the stream right now, like theyre not gonna all cry ‘i miss technoblade *sniffs* why- whyd he leave to eat food, why did he listen to our advice noooo’”

02:14:50 NEW VIDEO POGGGG CARL THE HORSE POGGGGGG  NOT A STREAM HIGHLIGHT POGGGGG

02:17:40 “i could start a potato farm out here to show how much ive changed” techno last time u made a potato farm u started an entire war that lasted a year that does NOT say calm and retired to me lskgdfjagsldj

02:23:00 why does techno just reference greek mythology so much. makin me scared for his arc. 

also he talks abt smp earth a lot in this stream i love it so much

i also just. love?? how much sbi respect tommy like they bully him but when talkin bout him they just have so much respect for how much work he puts into youtube and i just,,,,hgnn they r friends 

02:33:13 sbi streamer house lets go cmon

02:34:15 “i think if i streamed every day i could keep up” on one hand YE S  but on the ohter oh god techno no we have to keep up tho

hearing techno say “violence isnt the answer” is so scary  02:35:40

02:37:30 technosneeze 

hiS BROTHER SENT HIM 46 DISCORD MESSAGES SFKDJLFLKASF 2:49:25 i love his end screen so much hes just sadness,,,,retirement,,,t,echnoblade,,,the government is going to fall on its own due to lack of organization and ideals,,,,,,subscribe,,,,,sadness,,,,,also 2:50:45 is making me laugh so hard its just sad music and technos like??? whys phil in my house drinking milk????? 

overall, fantastic stream, if ya want some chill techno philza content i highly recommend. 

[atla-hcs-and-bakoda]

Bato’s Backstory

ok so this is gonna be long, buckle up. This is my personal interpretation of bato’s backstory, it likely makes no canonical or reasonable sense, but canon does not exist and i make the rules. this is purely self-indulgent crack-treated-seriously. This is what all the other hcs, unless stated otherwise, will be set in.

Note about Bato: in my interpretation of him, he has teal/cyan eyes and darker brown hair than in the show, his skin tone has not changed.

(unfortunately this is not a zukka au, just a bakoda one. bato’s backstory is kind of an au in my mind, so when i do ship zukka, its not in this au)

(the bold letters at the beginning of the paragraphs are for accessibility)

‘Present’ (only a few months after zuko’s coronation) ages: Hakoda & Bato - 41 Kya - 42 Iroh - 65 Ozai - 47

under the cut because oh boy this is long, sorry asdfghfd

So, our story begins in the fire nation, about 59 AG, Iroh is the 25 year old crown prince, and recently had a child with his wife, Minami, on the coldest day of winter. They named him Shui, and they, quite frankly, spoilt him with their love. Minami stayed in the castle while Iroh was at war, and always sang to Shui while putting his hair up or putting him to bed.

One day, when Shui was 9, Azulon decided to take his family to Ember Islands on vacation, like the royal family has been doing for generations. However, there was a bad storm, and the ship got thrown near the south. Little Shui followed Iroh onto the deck, and fell overboard when a big wave hit the other side of the boat, rocking it and making him fall.

The royal family and crew tried to save him, but the waves dragged him under, and once the storm cleared, he was presumed dead. Iroh and Minami mourned the loss of their first son, who died so young that he hardly got to live life at all. Ozai mourned to a minor extent, as he was 15 at the time and wasn’t as bad as he is in the present, but not for as long as Shui’s parents, or grandfather, did.

Meanwhile, in the southern water tribe, little 9 year old Hakoda was wandering down at the seaside with his father when he came across a young boy unconscious in the snow, the cold water nearly freezing him to death. His father hurried him back to the tribe with the young boy’s body. For days, Hakoda sat beside the bed, rarely moving from the spot, keeping watch on the mystery boy. And eventually, he woke up.

Hakoda introduced himself once the boy was fully awake, but when asked his name, the boy said “i...i don’t remember...” So, instead, Hakoda decided to pick a name for him; Bato. The boy agreed to the name, and after a week, got adopted by one of the tribesmen, a close friend of Hakoda’s father. After that, the two children were an unstoppable duo, they did many successful pranks on everyone, including Hakoda’s mother, Kanna.

However, every once in a while, Bato would blurt out something without thinking, and when questioned, wouldn’t be able to remember it at all. For instance, Bato and Hakoda were once watching the stars late at night, when Bato pointed at a constellation and called it Druk. Hakoda laughed, but Bato insisted that was its name. Hakoda asked where Bato learned that, since thats not what their tribe calls it, and Bato had no recollection of learning it.

(This continued well into teenagehood, when Bato realised at the ripe old age of 14 that he was, in fact, in love with his best friend. He didn’t come out for a long time, in fear of his tribe’s reaction. Deep down he knew they’d accept him with open arms, but his anxiety said otherwise.)

At 12, there was a fire nation raid while Bato was at the seaside, and he recognised both the ship and flag instantly despite not being told prior about the Southern Raiders. He ran to tell the chief, and thanks to his quick reaction, saved the tribe to a degree. Many waterbenders still died, however.

At 15, Bato and Hakoda went ice-dodging with their respective fathers- and eachother. Hakoda recieved the mark of the wise, and Bato recieved the mark of the brave.

One night at 15, they were cuddling in Hakoda’s bed (because thats what best friends do, of course. its cold, no other reason, totally not) when Hakoda noticed Bato’s eye color; Teal. not the regular water tribe blue, not a dark blue, or even a light blue, but pure Teal. Although hakoda would still argue to this day that bato’s eyes are cyan. When questioned about his eye color, Bato shrugged and brushed it off as an uncommon trait. But Hakoda realised nobody else in the tribe had cyan eyes, just blue.

Then, at 16, the boys got into a bad avalanche that resulted in Hakoda getting knocked out. Bato woke up hours later, and pulled his best friend out of the snow. He realised Hakoda wasnt breathing, and started to cry, taking his gloves off to cling to Hakoda and try feel the warmth of his pulse, to no avail. He closed his eyes and cried, when his hands lit on fire. When he realised what he just did, he put the flame out and made a plan, carrying Hakoda to the dog sled quite a bit from the avalanche, and set them on course for the tribe while he carefully lit his hands back on fire after a few attempts, and kept Hakoda warm. 

Just before they got to the tribe, Hakoda started breathing again, shallowly, and his father quickly took both of them to the healer when they arrived back. This time, it was Bato who sat beside the bed and waited for Hakoda to wake up, refusing to eat much until his friend woke up.

He never told anyone about his bending.

A few months later, Hakoda met and started dating Kya, and Bato’s heart broke. he was happy for hakoda, he really was, but deep down it still hurt him to see him with someone else.

At 20, Hakoda’s father went off to war.  At 22, Hakoda became Chief, and Bato became the second-in-command.

At 23, Hakoda proposed to Kya after like 20 failed attempts at carving a betrothal necklace. Bato’s heart broke a tiny bit more, but he ignored it to be happy for his friend. Bato had to sleep alone for the first time since he joined the southern water tribe, he didn’t sleep much when alone.

2 years later, at 25, Sokka was born, and Bato babysat him a lot when Hakoda and Kya were busy. Bato admittedly vented to baby sokka quite a bit, and showed him very minor firebending tricks he practiced during sleepless nights, which was most nights.

At 26, Katara was born, and Bato now babysat two little children, both of which he adored with all his heart. He himself is infertile, so Katara and Sokka were the closest thing he had to his own children.

Things went mostly peacefully for years, until 34, when Kya got killed. After the raid, Hakoda wouldnt eat for days at a time, completely depressed and exhausted. Bato would offer him small plates of food and sit with him, letting him vent or cry or whatever Hakoda needed to do to get the stress and pain out. He also looked after Sokka and Katara while Hakoda couldn’t, and usually slept next to Hakoda’s bed, watching over the chief, along with his kids, as both children were terrified to sleep by themselves, Hakoda was scared of losing them, and Bato couldn’t bare the thought of not keeping them safe.

After years of recovering, Hakoda eventually had to head out to war with the men of the tribe, Bato included. Bato’s heart broke watching Sokka beg to come with them, but he knew it was for the best.

3 months after leaving, Bato came out to Hakoda in the Chieftan’s private room in the boat, and Hakoda accepted him with open arms, and promised to not tell anyone until Bato was ready. Bato fell a lot more in love.

At 5 months, he started very carefully dropping hints to Hakoda that he likes him, slightly-too-friendly-to-be-platonic compliments, cuddling him in hakoda’s room “because its cold” (they were nowhere near cold climates), and other vaugely homoerotic stuff like that. All of it went over Hakoda’s head.

(At 6 months he straight up told Hakoda at night on the deck “Your my stars, Hakoda. Whenever i’m lost, you always bring me home.”, and Hakoda responded “Thanks Bato, I’m happy your my friend too.”, Bato stayed awake all night in utter disbelief. He still teases Hakoda about it.)

1 year after leaving, Bato realised he might not be as much of a guy as he thought he was. He silently decided to put that train of thoughts on hold until the war was over. (In his heart he knew the war would never be over until the fire nation won. especially with sozin’s comet only a year away and- he doesnt remember what sozin’s comet is.)

When his arm got burned, he burned the soldier right back with his good arm out of sight of everyone else, and managed to shove them overboard before the pain hit him. He’s always had a high pain tolerance.  After the fight ended, Hakoda carried Bato to the abbey, and they had a tearful goodbye, where Bato quietly confessed his love as Hakoda walked out the room. Hakoda thought about it until he saw Bato again.

When they reunited, Hakoda confessed his love back to Bato, and they kissed right in the open, it took a lot of self control for the other tribesmen to not cheer, they had known for literally forever, the only person in the tribe who didnt know bato was in love with hakoda was hakoda.

Somehow, it took until the war was over for Sokka and Katara to find out they had a step-dad. They already considered Bato to be their second dad, so not much exactly changed.

The day of Zuko’s coronation, Bato got talking with Iroh, and when the topic came to children, Iroh explained how both his sons were dead, one dying at 9 from a storm, and the other dying at 20 from war. When Iroh says his youngest (eldest?) son’s name, Shui, Bato remembers the storm, and Iroh notices Bato’s rare cyan eyes.

They have a nice reunion, although Bato has to sit down for a while to process all this and figure out his family tree. He decides not to tell Hakoda yet, but he does spend a while walking through the palace with Iroh and remembering parts of his early childhood. He cant bring himself to go into the room of firelord portraits.

A month after zuko’s coronation, he sits Hakoda down and explains that he’s a bender, and he’s apparently fire nation royalty. Hakoda gets temporarily mad, but eventually calms down and hugs Bato when his friend told him that his firebending saved both himself and hakoda, and that he would never be like his forefathers or uncle. Hakoda takes a while to fully accept it, but eventually warms up (heh) to the concept, and continues to use Bato as a personal space heater.

Two months after zuko’s coronation, he finally decides to tackle the “i’m not as much as a guy as i thought” issue, and he decides to go to Iroh and Toph for advice over tea, where Iroh suggests some wise stuff, but Toph simply explains what non-binary is, and suggests Bato may be Demiboy. (Although Bato prefers to call himself Demiguy, he doesnt like being called a boy) The Gender Crisis continues for about another week, and takes another half a month for him to come out to Hakoda. Bato was somewhat internally afraid he wouldnt be counted as one of the men, but Hakoda was overwhelmingly supportive, and admitted that he knew Bato wasn’t exactly cis, he just never knew the words to use.

Bato spends a while at the palace after the coronation to get his bearings on being half fire nation and a prince, he learns purple is a very good color on him.(Hakoda later jokes that it was foreshadowing for Bato realising he was enby, as he wasnt blue or red)

He bonds quite a bit with Zuko, Iroh, and Toph during his stay, but eventually goes back to the southern water tribe, the place he truly considers home. Although, he does go and visit the fire nation every once in a while. He even goes to Ember Islands and has a vacation day with both of his families.

After about two years, He finally makes a betrothal necklace for Hakoda, with the symbol of the water tribe on it and flames coming up from the waves, both of them totally cry happy tears when he proposes privately under the light of the aurora.

[ames-69]

Maggie tozier was ecstatic when her 4 year old Richie came home from his first day of kindergarten absolutely gushing about his new friend. Richie had struggled to make friends in the multiple mommy-and-toddler classes that Maggie had enrolled them in, and even while playing in the park seemed to be on his own. But he seemed content with it so Maggie and her husband Wentworth let him be, just hoping he would finally make a few friends in kindergarten, which he did.

Over the next while she learned a lot about his friend, she now knew was called eddie, but Richie seemed to prefer to call him ‘eds’. He had “ass ma” and had to carry around a special blue thingy to help him breath richie told her solemnly. In fact, eddie carried around a lot of things, according to Richie. He had a little bag he wore around his waist, which he never took of - not even at nap time, much to his teachers annoyance. Eddie alway washed his hands before eating or after playing outside and always made sure Richie did the same. At least Maggie know knew her son was at least slightly hygienic. But eddie was as adventurous as he was careful. The boy had been at the toziers house enough times now for Maggie to see his craziness along with their other friends, bill denbrough and Stanley uris - both of them were good friends of richies, but not as good as eddie. Maggie once wondered to herself if eddie had so much energy because he didn’t get to act like this at home. She had met Sonia kaspbrak and quite frankly did not like her. That was the day she swore to herself eddie was always welcome at her home.

The four liked to play pretend games. One of their favourites was ‘the clown game’ were there was an evil clown they had to kill. Maggie wasn’t sure where they came up with this stuff, but it was amusing to watch them shoot at the thin air with their imaginary guns nonetheless. Once or twice richie had told Maggie he was gonna marry his eds one day. Maggie just smiled and nodded and said “I’m sure you will sweetie.” Maybe that was when she knew.

By the time the boys were in sixth grade, eddie had spent more time at the toziers house than Maggie could count. At least twice a week he stayed for dinner and by this stage had his own make shift bed on richies floor - if Maggie noticed it looked like it hadn’t been slept in some nights, she didn’t say anything. But she didn’t mind, she adored the boy, he was always welcome at the toziers and he knew it. He was good for her son.

Richie had always been witty, with his attempts at accents and whimsical remarks. He teased his friends often, including his new friends, Ben and Beverly who he’d met over the summer of ‘89. (Maggie at first was worried about Richie hanging around a girl but soon realised that she really was just a friend and relaxed, happy he was indeed making new friends.) He teased them all, but not as much as he did eddie. And the way he teased Eddie was different, but in a kind of good way that was hard to put into words. Maggie could tell there was no malice in her sons words and actions. Toward any of them for that matter. The pair had also become alot more physically affectionate, though then again, they always had been. As kids they often held hands and hugged. One was never seen with out the other. Oh, the tantrums Maggie dealt with when it was home time. Now they did that along with cuddling during movie nights and eddie always tucked away under Richie’s gangly arms. Maybe that was when she knew.

When they were 15, richie asked could he go to his first school dance. Maggie was fearful at first, fearful that her little baby was growing up, but he reassured her he was only going because “eddie w- everybody else wants to” Maggie struggled to fight of the smile that was trying to creep onto her face. So she told him yes, he could go.

She tried to argue with him to get a tux, but he refused, instead opting to wear his black Sunday slacks and a tee shirts with a tie printed on it much to Maggies dismay.

Richie and his friends had made plans to meet up at the toziers house at 6pm on the night of the dance as it was closest to the school, but when Maggie heard a knock on the front door at 5pm, she wasn’t surprised.

“Hello, eddie dear” she greeted as she let the small boy inside.

“Hi, mrs. T” He had always refused to call her anything else, even though she had insisted years ago they all call her Maggie. She found it cute.

Eddie was wearing a light blue suit, similar to the one richie wore to stans bar mitzvah. She didn’t miss the way richie stared at him a little too long, the same look wentworth had when he looked at her in his eyes. The two boys soon disappeared up the stairs to most likely read comics. At 6pm, the others began arriving. A new face had joined the little gang a couple years ago. Mike Hanlon. He was a nice kid, just like all richies friends. After a couple - well more than a couple - photos, the clique hopped on their bikes that had been tossed aside on the toziers lawn and began cycling towards the school. Maggie smiled at the kind of dead looking flower she recognised from the neighbouring garden in eddies breast pocket that definitely hadn’t been there was he arrived an hour before. Maybe that was when she knew.

When richie was 17, Maggie tozier walked into her sons room to see him curled in a ball in the middle of his bed. Occasionally he let out little whimpers and curled up tighter. If Maggie tozier hadn’t known heartbreak before, she knew it now. He looked so small and helpless, she wanted nothing more than to take all of her sons pain away. That was what a mother was meant to do, right? She had a sinking feeling she already knew what this was about. Richie hadn’t mentioned eddie in a couple days and eddie hadn’t visited in over a week now, and this was highly unusual. The last time this happened they were 12 and had fought over something small and unimportant that Maggie couldn’t recall now. But even that hadn’t lasted this long. Silently, Maggie walked over to the bed and sat down, placing a loving hand on her sons back and gently began rubbing it. “It’s okay” she cooed over and over, eventually calming him enough for him to tell her what was wrong.

“We.. we had a fight..” he sniffed. Maggie just nodded and began petting his head which was now laying in her lap. She didn’t need to ask who he was referring to.

“He told me that.. that he liked m-me as more than a.. a friend and i j-just sorta looked at him.. then.. then ran a-away” and with that he dissolved into tears again. Now Maggie spoke, her voice quite and caring.

“You don’t need to be scared rich, if that’s what’s wrong. Ive always known, and I’ve always loved you - and him.” She looked down at him, but he was staring at the dresser in front of him. She continued. “Right from yous were kids, I’ve always known yous would end up together. You know, you told me you were gonna marry him one day. And by god richie, i hope you do. That boys the best damn thing to happen to you. Now please, go get him. I cant stand seeing you like this. And I’m sure he’s just as broken.”

Richie finally sat up. He eyeballed her for a couple seconds. “Really?” His voice was so fragile. Maggie had never in his seventeen years of life seen him like this. It killed her.

“Really” she assured him. “Yous are made for each other”

He smiled before quickly springing off of his bed and into the bathroom. Maggie heard the water run as he washed his face. She fixed the bed and laid out a fresh hoodie and jeans for him, then hastily ran to her and Went’s room. She riffled through her bag and eventually found her car keys, then went to wait in the living room. About 10 minutes later richie arrived down stairs. His eyes were still red and puffy and his hair was messy, but the shine in his eyes and returned and Maggie smiled. He went to go out the back to retrieve his bike, but she stopped him.

“Take the car” she said simply and handed him the keys. He smiled widely at her, before she shooed him out with a final “go get him.” If she didn’t know before, she knew now.

[idreamtofthereaper]

Trouble Waiting to Happen.. i

bigbrother!jaehyun x sibling!reader x loveinterest!jaemin

𝘐𝘵’𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘢 𝘗𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘩𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘰𝘺. But Jung Jaehyun knows better, and that’s why their group remains superior and unbothered -only you didn’t.

𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨: reader x nct jaemin

𝙜𝙚𝙣𝙧𝙚: angst, fluff

𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨: mafia theme, gets dark a little later, mentions of kidnapping, deaths, threats, mature theme, cursing/swearing

𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙚 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙖𝙪𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙧: hi-  I still haven’t moved on from jaehyun’s kick it get up. reach out to me in anyways if you want to be included in the taglist!

M A S T E R L I S T

Taglist: @hiqhkeybby​  @huangxx​

“Oh, don’t you have school today?”

“Yeah, why else would I wake up before 10 AM?” You replied, taking a seat beside Jaehyun who was reading something in his phone. Upon your arrival, he had a confused look as you wore your casual clothes.

“Why aren’t you in your uniform then? Is it still in the laundry?” Jaehyun asked, putting his phone aside to start eating breakfast. “I could just buy you a new set.”

“No, it’s wash day idiot. We’re not supposed to wear uniforms every Friday.” You answered, smiling at Johnny as he made his way to the table, his suit neatly folded on his arm. 

“ Good morning, oppa.” You greeted Johnny sweetly, pairing it with a smile. Because of this, you earned a glare from Jaehyun who you just dismissed easily. 

“Good morning to you too, yn. You look good.” You only giggled at his comments, Jaehyun quickly throwing Johnny a glare who only replied with a chuckle. “You look good too, Jae.” 

The Three of you then continued to eat, but Johnny and Jaehyun mostly talking about what they will do for today and the reports of their men from different parts of the town. “Also, somethin happened in District 9.” With the tone of Johnny’s voice, you knew it wasn’t something good.

Your head perked up at this, Jaehyun clearing his throat and with the cloth, wiped his lips. “Well, let’s go outside to talk then.” Jaehyun knew you know what he does, but still, he doesn’t and NEVER goes in detail with you. Always arguing with you how it was better you know less.

“No it’s okay, I’m done.” You said, taking a last sip of your drink before standing up, grabbing your jacket from the chair before going behind your brother to give him a quick kiss on the top of his head. “Bye peaches”

You went around and was about to do the same to Johnny when Jaehyun cleared his throat loud enough to stop your movements. “You’re about to be late. go to school.” You only laughed at his actions but nodded, simply tapping Johnny’s shoulder who acknowledge it with a nod.

When you made it out the mansion, the usual SUV was waiting for but this time around, new faces was at the driver seat and outside of the passenger seat waiting for you.

They may be new, but they weren’t unfamiliar. As you neared, you realized it was Doyoung and Yuta, they were the head of security of your brother’s team. You’ve seen them before at Jaehyun’s office lingering around, if you have them for your security he really was serious about not giving you his Lamborghini.

“It’s been a while yn.”

“Sure it was.” You greeted Yuta, who opened the door of the backseat for you. When you settled in, Yuta carefully closed the door and went to the passenger seat. 

Before Doyoung could utter a greeting, you gave him a hug along with Yuta, who acknowledged your action by a simple tap on your arm as your grip tightened. “We heard you couldn’t get yourself out of trouble so here we are.” Doyoung said as the gates of the mansion opened, the car moving out and begin to head to your school.

“Not my problem everyone wants me.” You answered, sitting back as you stared out the window. “Still, sorry you guys have to go through all this for me.” You said, meeting Yuta’s eyes through the mirror who only shook his head. 

“It’s fine, we’re getting paid double anyways.” 

Along with Johnny, Doyoung and Yuta was the people who was with your brother when he was handling the business left by your father. Business meaning the company your father left him and the business Jaehyun was notorious for.

Because of this, you grew up with them. Your parents are now in retirement, your mother known to be the right hand of your father when he was still active. And now that they aren’t as youthful as before, they decided to finally give Jaehyun the ‘family business’ 

At the time, they wanted to bring you with them. But Jaehyun, who at the time was only 20 years old, was adamant to keep you with him, knowing your father attracts a lot of bad eyes wherever he goes.

When your father left Jaehyun, it didn’t took long for Jaehyun to get the grip of the business. He was always a smart and systematic person and at just 15, he was already learning the ropes his father would teach him.

And to be honest, you felt safer with Jaehyun anyways. Though, he was a bit more protective than your parents combined. 

Once you arrived to you school, the bell had already rang. You couldn’t catch what the other two was saying as you dashed in, the coffee in your hands thankfully in a sealed cup.

When you reached your class, everyone was already seated and your professor was already there. She leaned on her desk as you bowed, apologizing for being late as you inched your way inside the classroom. “Sorry miss, I promise it won’t happen again.”

“I hope it won’t, and next time bring everyone coffee to when you’re at it.” The rest of the class let out a suppressed chuckle, making you glance your eyes towards them and found a seat, seated right next to that was an unfamiliar face of a boy.

His eyes that was looking out the window looked towards you, which you quickly darted away back to your prof. “I’m sorry miss, I promise to bring everyone a full gourmet meal if it happens again.” The entire class cheered, the prof dismissing you and letting you take a seat.

As you settled in, your prof was already beginning to start her discussion. You took out your notebook and pen, quickly glancing at the new boy beside you, who was eyes on front but was wearing a smirk.

As the discussion went on, you found yourself drifting off, your coffee already vanished so you couldn’t refuel. Just as your head was about to fall, you were slightly startled by a coffee being slipped in front of you. 

Looking to your right, you saw the new boy give you a smile. He then widened his eyes towards the coffee, travelling your eyes back at the coffee to see a paper slipped underneath it. 

this could definitely help

You took a sip from the coffee and immediately regretted it, making a winced face from it all the while surpassing your coughs, immediately grabbing the coffee and handing it back to the boy who has an entertained grin, grabbing it from your hands as you watched in horror as he finished the cup.

“Okay that’s it for today, answer pages 122 A and B then you could enjoy your weekend.” The class agreed in unison, everyone groaning after the teacher left and some was already rushing to their next class. 

Before you could even confront the boy in Pink hair, he was already dashing off the classroom, not giving you the time to ask where his coffee is made of and w h y? Simply, why?

Throughout your next 3 classes, you couldn’t quite focus. Not only was your spirit lifted by that hellish coffee, but also because of that boy. From the chattering that was happening around you, you have concluded that Pink boy was indeed a new student, and that he supposedly has a brother on the other building. 

After your third class, you were just ready to sleep. But feeling the hunger kick in, that wouldn’t really be a good idea.

You made your way to the cafeteria, multiple students already making their way to it and some even having a seat already. You bought a simple lunch meal before finding your only friend.

You have quite a reputation in school, you haven’t transferred since middle school so everyone knows how you have rich parents and now, a rich bachelor brother. There are Three types of people who approaches you differently because of this knowledge, some avoids you because of intimidation, some hates you and says you’re only passing because your parents or brother is paying the school and lastly, those who wants to befriend you solely because they want to see your house.

The friend you were about to see were none of the Three, the both of you met during a camping trip 3 years ago. Jaehyun wasn’t available at the time so you went with Johnny and Yuta, eventually finding a family who also rented out a cabin- in there you met Aera.

Your next school year, you finally had a friend. The thing with Aera is that she doesn’t have any prior knowledge about you and your family.

You slid in front of her, seeing she has already took a bite with her apple but the rest of her food is untouched. After she felt your presence, she dropped her phone and immediately went close to you. “So, I heard you and Jaemin had first class together. How was he like?” 

“Jaemin? The pink hair one?” You asked, opening the packets for your utensils. 

“Yeah that one, he’s Jeno’s supposedly brother. Or kinda. He’s adopted, he’s the guy that attends Jeno’s football matches.” You nodded, mixing your soup as you looked at her in amazement.

“And you got this information how?”

“Social media and cafeteria chatter.” She answered nonchalantly, picking up her utensils and beginning to eat herself. “I told you, you should at least have one social media.”

“Not my thing.” You answered shortly. 

The things you would do to have that bird app and those cute filters and the pretty feed, Jaehyun doesn’t allow you to have any social medias. The only way you knew about all of this is because of the articles you would see. 

Aera only knows that you’re with your brother and that he’s a businessman, running the company originally ran by your father. 

“Again back to my question, how was Jaemin?”

“I don’t know, I was late. I sat beside him during class though, his taste buds is fucked up. His coffee is stronger than what my brother drinks.” After remembering the taste, you winced in disgust.

You saw how Aera was confused by this so, you expanded. “He saw I was drifting off and he offered me his coffee. I think it has 10 shots of expresso or something it was bad.”

“Well, no one is perfect indeed.” You nodded at her words, continuing your lunch but now, talking about other topics.

--

After lunch was your free period, as part of the student council, most of the times when you have your free period you would spend it at the principal’s office. Just like today, you were summoned to the office to probably have you sort out files.

Knocking twice, the assistant principal motioned for you to come in, greeting you with a smile as you bowed. “I heard you called for me?”

“Yes yes, so I checked the student schedules and saw you have a free period. There’s a new student and I would like you to show him around, and maybe introduce him for clubs and activities he could join.” You nodded at her words, taking the folder from her. “I guess you already know him? His name is Na Jaemin, you guys had first period together?”

You let out an acknowledging nod, signaling you were familiar with him as you read the content of the folder. It was just mostly the guide to the school and possible activities and clubs he could join.

“That’s good then, he said he’ll be here in a few minutes. You should wait for him outside the office.” You closed the folder and nodded to her, bowing again as you turn around and begin walking out the office.

In front of it was a row of seats, you took a seat as you waited for him. Laughter then filled the almost empty hallways, turning your head around and saw it was Jaemin and Jeno.

Jeno, from what you know, was just the same grade as you but he is at a different building since he’s taking a different strand of subjects. 

As they neared, you stood up. Jeno then patted Jaemin’s shoulder, glancing at you quickly before turning to the opposite direction to his building.

“Ah, coffee girl will be giving me a tour. That’s nice.”

“Unlike your coffee from hell, name is yn though.” You introduced, transferring the folder to your other one as you extended a hand towards him.

Jaemin took it gently in his, his eyes never leaving yours. “Na Jaemin, and my coffee saved your life princess.” 

[zuucc]

OLDER BROTHER: W. Nylander I FLUFF/SMUT

Words: 29K+

Summary: You’ve grown up with the Nylander’s. With your parents being friends and you being the same age as Alex, the two of you have been best friends for longer than you can remember - but somewhere during your early teenage years, his older brother started becoming more handsome and interesting, and less annoying older brother. And somewhere during your early teenage years you became more beautiful and grown up and charming, and less like Alex’s awkward best friend.

Warnings: Extreme cuteness?? cursing and smut + some alcohol

Warning #2: I spent 3 whole hours rereading/editing this... So grab a bottle of water and some snacks

Author’s note: Let’s just pretend that drafting and the Nylander bros leaving Sweden just isn’t a thing. And I am sorry for a lot of commas sometimes, I’m just a grammar bitch. (Also, the age of consent in Sweden, where the story is set, is, according to Wikipedia, 15. Just so you know ;))  AND I AM SORRY FOR THE WAIT!!! HOPE YOU ENJOY!

Masterlist tagged in bio.

July 2011

“Why are you blushing?” Alex asked, looking at you with furrowed eyebrows and curious eyes. You’d been playing in the pool, splashing each other and hitting each other with pool noodles, but now that William had decided to show up, 15 years old and in all his shirtless glory - your eyes and mind went somewhere else, just snapping out of it when Alex hit you over the head with a noodle.

“Why. Are. You. Blushing?” he asked again, once you finally turned your attention back at him. Your attention weren’t even all the way there, quickly being caught again as you observed his older brother climbing up the ladder on the side of the pool to do another dive into the water, hockey-made muscles moving in his back as he pulled himself up.

“I’m not blushing,” you said once you snapped out of it again, surely blushing even more. “Then why is your face suddenly red?” his eyebrows still furrowed, as he couldn’t figure out what the hell was going on with his best friend. “I don’t know, probably just sunburned,” you tried to find an excuse, Alex shrugging and rolling his eyes at you before hitting you with the noodle again.

You and Alex had always been honest with each other, but as you got older you’d learned that some things you couldn’t share with your best friend.. like period-stuff, and ‘suddenly developing a crush on his older brother’-stuff.

June 2012

“Why are you wearing that? It’s hot as hell,” Alex asked, looking at you standing by the pool from where he’s lounging on a floatie. Covering your body, you’ve got a huge t-shirt – stolen from your dad. It was the first heat of the summer, and a heatwave traveling over Europe had hit Sweden good. You had plenty of sundresses but they were all a little tight over your chest and thighs - and the thought of something clinging to your body in this heat literally made you want to vomit. “My bikini is too small,” you mumbled, looking down at your feet. “What? Stop mumbling,” Alex said, the sound of his little sisters running around with the water hose behind you completely drowning out your mumbling voice. “I said my bikini is too small,” you muttered, sitting down at pool’s edge to get your feet in the water. “Didn’t you buy a new bikini before we went to that indoors water park for my birthday?” he asked, splashing water over himself to cool down. “Yeah, and it is too small,” you muttered. “That’s like three months ago, there’s no way that’s too small,” he chuckled. “It’s not like you grew. I’m like 5 inches taller than you now,” he laughed.

“Jesus, Alex, it’s called puberty - I think you forget that she’s a girl,” William chimes in, smacking his little brother over the back of his head as he slides past on a floatie of his own. You’re cheeks flare up at the thought of William understanding that your problem is that you now have boobs and wider hips. But you’re also thankful of the fact that he said it, so you didn’t have to. “What? I know that she’s a girl, dumbass,” Alex whines at his brother.

“Boobs, Alex! Boobs and hips, and a goddamn ass that doesn’t fit in any of my jeans anymore – that, is my problem,” you whisper-yell at him, annoyed with his oblivious nature. “And yeah, it is called puberty - maybe you’ll experience it one day,” you added, making Alex scoff and Will laugh loudly. “Hey, like I just said, I’m 5 inches taller than you, that’s puberty for you right there,” he argued. “Your voice is still squeaky,” you teased, even if his voice definitely had become a lot deeper over the last year. “No, it’s not,” he argued more, obviously making his voice deeper than it really was. You chuckled as you made eye contact with Willy who was sneaking up behind Alex with a smirk on his lips, flipping his floatie over and sending Alex under the water with a high scream - a small voice crack following as a cherry on top. “Like I said, squeaky,” you said, smug smile on your lips, when Alex’s head came through the surface again, and you and Willy laughed together - and your heart felt like it grew three sizes in your chest, just from communicating with Willy. And a maybe little more from being the one who made him smile, who made him laugh. You really hoped it didn’t though, you couldn’t handle your chest getting any bigger now. “Will you just get in already? I don’t care if your bikini fits or not, just... come play with me,” his voice turns whiny again as he says the last part, and you finally decide to give in, standing up to take off your dad’s t-shirt. You felt uncomfortable but a little bit braver now that you had at least one of the Nylander brothers understanding of your problems. But as you let the t-shirt fall to the ground and you turned back to the pool to jump in - the understanding one of the Nylander brothers was also the one who’s stare lingered a little longer.

It was also him that decided to grab you and throw you into the pool while you were standing by the pools edge. And it was him that went to get popsicles and stared at you when he bent down to give it you where you were sat floating on a couple of pool noodles. And he was the one that smiled at you from across the table when Alex told everyone about you and Willy ganging up on him - his smile a little sweeter, his stare a little softer than usual. And your heart felt like it would bust through your chest. March 2013 You let out a long sigh as you got upstairs, finally slipping away from the crowd that had gathered in the Nylander’s home in honor of Camilla’s birthday party. You cursed to yourself as you reached behind you to try and adjust your bra that was digging into your side through your dress. “Wanna talk about it?” you hear a teasing but familiar voice behind you. William was stretched out on a sofa, or more like a loveseat, that stood against the wall on the second floor of the house. He smiled at you as you turned around and finally noticed him. You rolled your eyes at his comment, but approached as he moved the pillows that was stacked next to him, in order to make room for you. “What’s up?” he asks on a more serious note, when you settle in next to him. You’ve gotten more used to talking to him over the last six months, as he had started spending more time with you and Alex, but being this close to him - your thighs slightly touching, your shoulder leant against his bicep - still got your heart beating faster. “First of all, I hate adults,” you say, making him chuckle and follow up with a ‘why?’. “These friends of our moms, all up in my business like ‘Oh, you’ve grown up to be such a fine young woman’ and ‘oh the last time I saw you, you were as skinny as a toothpick - you look like a woman now, look at those curves, you look just like your mother when she was your age’,” you tell him, making weird voices as you impersonate your mom and Camilla’s friends. “And let’s not forget ‘the boys at school must be swooning over you! Alex must have his hands full fighting them off’, queue obnoxious laughter,” you rant, letting out all your frustrations as Willy shakes in laughter next you. “Like, stop commenting on my body, please. Isn’t there like an unwritten rule that you shouldn’t comment on a teenage girl’s body? Also, there are no boys swooning over me, and if there were, I sure as hell wouldn’t need Alex to fight anyone off,” you huff, letting out another deep breath now that you’ve gotten most of your frustrations out.

“I hate to break it to you, but it’s true though,” he says, eyeing you from the side as you roll your eyes again. “What? That Alex spends all our free periods fighting off all my swooning suitors?” He laughs again, and you think it might be your favorite sound in the entire world. You like it even more when you’re the one that caused it. “That you’re a woman now,” he says it like Hagrid tells Harry Potter that he’s a wizard. “Like you’ve changed a lot since this time last year, not that what they’re saying is okay, but I understand their reactions,” he said - and he says it in a nice way. And you feel like it’s a compliment but you’re not sure. Your heart starts beating extra fast, though, just in case. “I came up here to get a break,” you sigh dramatically, and he laughs again - softly.

“Also I’m sure there are boys swooning over you, Y/N,” he adds, turning his head to look at you. “Yeah, right,” you mumble, and he turns back again, smiling. “I said I’m sure,” he trails off, and you thought about how the only boy you wanted to be swooning over you was him. “And second of all?” he asks, after a while, snapping you out of your thoughts. “What?” you ask, not sure what he means. “You said ‘first of all’ before you started impersonating annoying middle aged women. There must be a ‘second of all’,” he explains, smiling when he sees you draw another deep breath. “Yeah, second of all, this bra is cutting into my sides and this whole fucking outfit is just uncomfortable as heck,” you told him, making him laugh again. “I look ridiculous, this dress is at least one size too small but I never wear dresses so I don’t really get new ones and my mom would not let me wear jeans so here we are,” you sighed, gesturing towards the dress that wasn’t really meant to be clinging to your torso but definitely did. William laughed again, glancing at you before he turned his stare forward again. “I think you look great,” he smiled, but it wasn’t really a compliment you could take. “I look ridiculous,” you corrected him. “You need to stop putting yourself down like that. I’m trying to compliment you, you know. These annoying middle aged women down here are right - you are beautiful - and you definitely don’t look ridiculous,” he tells you, genuinely. You don’t know what to say next. Trying to think of how to say thank you in a confident and grown up way and not in a ‘I have a humongous crush on you’ way, while simultaneously fighting off the blush creeping up your cheeks was hard. Before you can come up with a logical solution, one that wasn’t running off or digging a hole and disappearing into it, he starts talking again. “You know, when someone compliments you, it’s polite to say thank,” he turns towards you, “oh, you’re busy blushing,” he interrupts himself, laughing. “Stop,” you whine, bringing your hands up to cover your cheeks, only making him laugh more. “There you are, I’ve been looking for you everywhere,” you suddenly hear Alex coming up the stairs, stopping at the top once he sees the two of you. “What the hell are you two doing?” he asks when he catches you in the act of trying to fight off William who’s holding your wrists as he tries to stop you from covering your blushing cheeks, your tights covered foot pressed against his bicep as you try to push him away while simultaneously leaning over the armrest to get away from him - both laughing. That night when you’re lying in bed, thinking of your talk with Willy, dreaming yourself away into some dream reality where the playful fight had ended in him pressing his lips to yours, instead of Alex interrupting and whisking you away - you get a message. It is late, way past midnight and even longer past your preferred bedtime, and you wonder who it might be. After all, Alex had fallen asleep while you watched a movie in the attic, barely getting himself up two flights of stairs to his bedroom when your parents came to tell you that you were leaving. Your lungs almost give out when you flip over your phone to see the nickname ‘willy’ on your screen. Having had his number saved in your phone ever since you first got one - because your mom and Camilla got you and Alex phones at the same time and thought it would smart for you to have it in case Alex did something stupid (i.e. hurting himself) and you couldn’t get a hold of them - but his number had never really been used much up until the last few months. Your mouth falls open when you struggle to get your phone unlocked, the fingerprint function of course not giving you the time of day, and you fuck up your code twice before you finally get it open and read the message - whereas your mouth shifts into a wide, giddy smile. “I like talking to you,”

December 2013/January 2014 New Year’s Eve dinner was always spent at home with just your family, and then around nine, your family and a couple of other families in your parents circle of friends would migrate over to the Nylander’s, where you would spend the rest of the night celebrating the new year. Unlike the last big party you attended at the Nylander house, you now had an outfit that you felt comfortable in. A pair of flowy, black pants that fit nicely over your hips and didn’t cut into your waist paired with a sparkly, dark grey, slightly see-through long sleeve that your mom had let you get if you promised to wear one of those cropped, black tank tops underneath - which wasn’t a compromise to you - it just meant that you could go without a bra. You felt more comfortable in your body too, finally getting used to how your wider hips made tight clothing look, and no longer feeling like the size of your chest was a burden. You felt good about how you looked tonight, having done your hair and everything. And even if it was nice to just feel good about yourself, you also hoped that one Nylander brother in particular would think that you looked good as well. Maybe even let his eyes linger on you a little bit longer, like he sometimes did. Along with your best friend and little Danielle, William greeted you and your family at the door. “You clean up nice,” Alex said nonchalantly, giving you a hug while simultaneously lifting your feet from the ground - something he’d gotten the habit of doing lately, only to show off the muscles he’d gained after he started going to the gym with Willy. His halfhearted compliment made you roll your eyes. “Wish I could say the same about you,” you joked, making him loosen his hold on you so that you quickly fell to your feet. While you and Alex had your moment, or whatever you would call it, your mom and dad had moved past you and into the living room. “Hey,” William smiled at you once you got back your balance and moved past Alex. It was that sweet smile, the one that reached all the way to his eyes - the one that it seemed he had reserved for you (and sometimes Danielle, as she was the one out of all his sisters that he had deemed the least annoying). “Hi,” you smiled back, stepping closer as he pulled you into a tight hug. “You look really great tonight,” he told you as you were still hugging. “Just tonight?” you asked, turning it into a joke a whole lot easier than actually taking a compliment for once, adding a hand to your chest for dramatic effect. “Oh, every day,” William smirked, taking your coat from you and hanging it up as you took it off. Alex rolled his eyes and walked past you, muttering something about getting snacks. “You still haven’t learned to take a compliment, huh?” he chuckled, putting his hands on your shoulders and pushing you in front of him into the living room. “Uhm, no, compliments make me awkward and you know it,” you mutter, pushing back against him - dreading the small crowd in their living room. You plant your feet to the ground, not taking another step - not letting him push you any further - when you get to the end of the hallway. “I know. But it doesn’t mean that I’ll stop complimenting you,” he says, stepping into you, his chest ending up slightly pressed into your back now that you suddenly stopped, his hands falling to the sides of your upper arms. You can sense his head next to yours as he leans down, and your cheeks starts feeling a little bit warm at the close proximity of your faces. “Thank you,” you whisper, knowing that he wants you take the compliment - he always does. “What was that?” he asked, teasing you. “Thank you,” you repeated yourself, louder this time. “There you go,” he smiled, and before you could do or say anything else, you sensed eyes on you. You looked away from William to see your mom’s friend, Karen, looking at the two of you. You didn’t know how long she’d been staring but you knew you didn’t want to give the circle’s main gossip girl more to talk about, envisioning her telling everyone how ‘Y/N has heart eyes for the oldest Nylander brother’, so you took Alex’s route of muttering something about snacks and running off to find him. You made the hours before midnight go by, by playing games with the other kids your age in the basement. William coming by every now and then, joining you for a game or two. The couch was full and you had taken the only chair for yourself, but instead of sitting on the floor, like three others, Willy simply desired to share your chair. “Hey, I was comfortable,” you whined, as he pushed you forward and dumped down behind you, resting his thighs and his side on the armrests, his long legs and one of his arms hanging over the chairs edges. Even if having him this close made your heart beat faster and your smile a little harder to hide, you were now a little bit uncomfortable, sitting at the edge of the seat. “Well, make yourself comfortable again,” he said, like it was the easiest thing ever. You could see how it could be comfortable, but that meant a lot of bodily contact between the two of you - something that took a little more bravery than you were feeling right now with all of these people around - and Alex who was rolling his eyes out of his head on the other side of the table. Sensing your lack of bravery, or uncomfortableness, or maybe both, William slides his free arm around your waist and pulls you closer, letting you rest back against his thighs, your arm coming up to rest on his hip. Your eyes meet and he looks up at you as if to ask ‘comfortable now?’ and you nod, a smile tugging at your lips. Not long after, Camilla comes down to tell you all that midnight and 2014 are only 15 minutes away. And while you dread having to pull away from the comfortable heat of his body, everyone put down their cards and scrambled up the stairs to put on the many layers that the Swedish winter required. “Are you gonna get up?” William chuckles, and you snap out of your thoughts. A blush rises to your cheeks but you still manage to give him a relaxed answer - one that doesn’t say ‘I never not want your body pressed to mine ever again’ but confidently “I was finally comfortable again,” at which he laughs and pushes you back to the edge of the seat, placing his hands on your shoulders again like he’d done when you first arrived. Out in the street, where the entire neighborhood and their guests gathered to watch the fireworks and celebrate the new year, you found yourself standing between Alex and William. William’s arm came around your shoulders, as if to warm you, even if you haven’t really shown any signs of being cold. But then again, you definitely didn’t mind.

The entire street counted down the last ten seconds before the new year in unison and you found yourself engulfed in the sound as a feeling of thankfulness for your friends and family washed over you. As 2013 came to an end and fireworks appeared in the night sky over you, you were pulled against William’s front, his glove covered hand coming up to your face as he pressed his lips to yours in a swift new year’s kiss. And it all happened so fast that you barely even realized it before it was over and you were whisked away and hugged by Alex and your mom, and your dad, and Camilla. Everyone. ‘Happy New Year’ whispered and shouted everywhere around you. Until William is back at your side, pulling you into a hug, whispering “Happy New Year” into your ear as if he hadn’t just kissed you a few minutes prior. As you got home around an hour and a half later, after having spent the last hour at the Nylander house half asleep on Alex’s shoulder, your brain fogged over with thoughts of what had happened. You’d been so tired but now your mind was running all over the place, and there was no way you were going to fall asleep within the first hour. You relived the moment about a hundred times, to the best of your memory. And you wished, you wished that you’d been prepared, that you knew what had made him do it - wished that he would have done it again. You wished that he hadn’t gone out with his friends after, so that maybe, just maybe he would’ve said something. Around 4 AM it feels like you might finally be falling asleep, but the sound of your phone buzzing once, then twice, makes you get up to at least push the ‘do not disturb’ button. But when you see his name on your screen you’re suddenly awake again, opening the messages immediately. “I really wanted a new year’s kiss,” “I hope you’re not mad at me❤️” And your heart felt like it was beating out of your chest again. You had no fucking idea what was behind the words ‘I really wanted a new year’s kiss’ but it would just have to do. And you were definitely not mad at him. “I’m not mad at you❤️” you texted him back, holding your phone to your chest as you waited for his reply, if there was one. A few seconds later it vibrates in your hands and you scramble to get it unlocked. “Why are you still awake?” he asks, and in a moment of bravery you text “Just been thinking a lot,” back. The dots that indicate typing appear immediately. “What’s got you thinking so much that you can’t sleep?” he asks, and you wonder if he just wants to hear you say it or if he’s actually oblivious. “You,” you answer, straight forward. Deciding right then and there that you were going to be honest this year. “Me? Why?”

“Because you kissed me,” you sent back, almost hyperventilating while you looked at the dots as they moved. The dots stopped and appeared again three times before the message came through.

“❤️❤️❤️”

March 2014 You smile awkwardly as a few guys from Alex’s hockey team shouts your name and lifts their red solo cups in the air as if to greet you. You lift your own, making sure to not let them see that there was actually water in yours, having decided that you should slow down on the alcohol that you definitely weren’t allowed to drink considering the fact that: 1. you were going home to your parents at some point during the night 

2. Alex was already well on the way to not remembering his 16th birthday, and it was only 11 o’clock You find your way back to the living room, that apparently had doubled its population in the time that you’d spent using the toilet and getting yourself some water. You sigh as you stand looking for the few people in the crowd that you actually wanted to spend time with. You spotted Alex next to his friend Linus, both noticeably intoxicated and trying to pick up some girls you’d never even seen before. The party had clearly escalated quickly. Rolling your eyes, you moved on. 

Your eyes quickly find Willy in the crowd, who’s got his hand in the air waving at you to come over to him. He’s sat in the middle of the sofa talking to a few friends that frequently attended the same friends and family events that your family and the Nylanders did. There was no space next to him or your friends - one of them even sitting on the table to be able to listen to the conversation over the loud music - but William got up from his seat and reached out a long arm for you to take and use as support as you climbed over legs and hands holding drinks. You eyed the table, sticky from overflown cups of beer and vodka mixed with god knows what, not really wanting to touch it... at all. “Here, you can sit in my lap,” William says sweetly, and before you can even process what he’d said, his hands are on your hips and he’s pulling you down to sit on one of thighs. One of his hands stay on your hip, while the other comes to rest on your knee. “You good?” he asks you, the conversation with your shared friends put on hold as he devotes his attention to you completely. You smile and nod, letting the arm closest to him rest over his shoulders. “I hope that’s water and not plain vodka,” he chuckles, nodding towards the cup in your hand. You laugh lightly at his comment. “You know, I was kinda feeling it, but then I saw him and thought ‘mm better not’,” you motioned to his little brother who’d now moved on to sloppy dancing with, not one of the unknown girls, but with Linus. William laughed at that, but nodded to show his understanding of your situation. “Yeah, I’ve been drinking coke. Mom was very clear when she said that I had to be responsible tonight,” he told you, before filling you in on the conversation he’d had with your friends. The conversation was soon interrupted, as Alex screamed across the room - the alcohol killing the already thin filter that he usually had. “You, you two, my brother and my best friend, can you please stop flirting? It’s fucking disgusting,” he shouts, as everyone turns their attention to you, his best friend, sitting on his older brother’s lap with his hands wrapped around you. Your brain works quick, making up sarcastic answers for everything had been like a coping mechanism for you over the last few years. “It’s not our fault you invited so many people that there’s no more places to sit,” you shout back at him, and he rolls his eyes. William laughs behind you, and at that, alcohol gets the best of Alex and he seems to get angry. “And- and you, you’ve been trying to steal my best friend from me f-for years,” he says, aggressively. To which the older brother role that William rarely has used over the last three years, seeing as the two year age gap between them hasn’t been very prominent, comes into light. “One more fucking word from you and I’m locking you in your room and ending this party,” he says, his voice strict and it’s shockingly enough make the drunk Alex shut up and go back to whatever he’d been doing before he noticed you. The conversation goes on but you find yourself falling out of it, Alex’s words clouding your mind and leaving you with a bad feeling in your chest. You hated that he was mad at you, even in the state that he was in. His state just made you think that it was the truth finally coming out. He’d been rolling his eyes at you and Willy for years and now you knew why. “Hey, are you alright?” Willy asks after your friends left - they lived further away and had been picked up by a parent. “Uh, yeah,” you answered when you were snapped out of your thoughts. He smiled a knowing smile that told you that he knew that you weren’t really okay. “Let’s go somewhere else,” he said and helped you to your feet with his hands on your hips, keeping his hands there as you make way on the narrow path between the couch and the table - climbing over the legs of everyone still sat there. He leads you to the staircase, and you stop to see if Alex is fine before you go up. He’s sitting with some teammates and not lying face down somewhere, like you feared. And he doesn’t see you go upstairs with Willy, either, so you decide that it’s safe. William leads you to the loveseat in the second floor’s hallway, where you’d found escape on so many parties at the Nylander’s before. You both sit down, but he takes hold of your legs and pulls them into his lap. “You have barely said a word since Alex’s screaming,” he said, placing a hand on your leg. “Yeah, I guess it just left me with a bad feeling,” you told him, looking out into the room instead of at him. “You know, he won’t remember it tomorrow,” he tried to calm you. “But I will,” you glanced at him before continuing. “And I know he’s drunk and not in his right mind, but I can’t keep from thinking that he’s just saying what he actually means,” you told him, and he reaches out to take your hand in his, keeping you from fidgeting and picking on your jeans. “I know he’s been rolling his eyes at us for years, but I don’t think he actually means what he said. I don’t think he meant what he said about me trying to steal you away from him. I’m not, I would be a really sucky big brother if I did that - it’s just that I like spending time with you, too, and we have never been together without him being there, it’s him that goes off doing something else - and if he means that I can’t talk to you just because he isn’t, then he’s just being an asshole,” he squeezes your hand. You guess he’s right and you’re finally able to swallow the bad feeling. “Uhm, hey, Alex can barely stand by himself, so,” a girl from your school interrupted yours and Willy’s moment - seeming very awkward for having done so. “I guess it’s time to end this party,” William says, letting go of your hand and clapping his own two together. You get up and thank the girl for coming to get you, before you go down stairs to find Alex mumbling about God knows what. “Do you think you can deal with him while I get everyone out of here?” William asks you, placing a hand on your arm when he talks to you. You nod, and he smiles. “I’ll come help you as soon as I get this cleared,” he says, motioning to the living room that still had quite a few people in it, even if some had left already. “Heyyy,” Alex smiles when he sees you this time. If he’s already forgotten about the situation earlier or if he’s just happy to see you without his older brother by your side, you don’t know. “Hi,” you smile, “how are you feeling?” you ask him, taking his hand and helping him to his feet. “Uhm, not great, but not terrible either,” he tells you, making you shake your head laughing. You position yourself under his arm, so that he can lean on you. “Let’s get you to bed, then,” you tell him, starting towards the stairs again. “B-but, I’m having a party,” he whines, and you laugh again. “The party is over, Alex, everyone’s going home,” you explained to him, and he eventually decides to at least try to walk up the stairs. “Wait, where were you? I was looking for you,” he asks you, somewhere on the way up the stairs, his weight leaning on you so much that you could barely talk. “I was upstairs,” you tell him through your labored breath, and he asks you what you were doing upstairs when the party was downstairs. “Just talking,” you tell him, deciding that it was probably best to not say with who. But of course, the next question from your nosy best friend is just that. But before you can come up with a clever answer, he’s already guessed it. “Willy, probably. Right?” You nod, and he doesn’t say anything else before you get him to his room and onto his bed. “Why do you hang out with Willy so much?” he asks you, sitting on his bed and desperately trying to open the buttons on his not so clean, spilled upon, light blue button up - but failing. “Because he’s my friend and I like him, Alex. But I spend a lot more time with you, so don’t you be worried,” he rolls his eyes at you again, but there’s a small smile tugging on his lips. “But tonight’s my birthday party and you only hung out with him,” he says, small traces of ‘whiny 4 year old’ in his voice. “I did spend time with you. You even got me a little tipsy! But then you got ridiculously drunk and only wanted to talk to girls - girls that aren’t me - so I decided to hang out with Willy, Elias and Charlotte instead,” you explained and he seemed to take it, smiling when you finally took over the unbuttoning of his shirt. “But what were you doing upstairs talking with Willy? Where you just talking?” he tries to sound like he’s a protective older brother, but he’s failing. “We were just talking, Alex. What else would we be doing?” you chuckle, as you finally get the last button open and help him pull it off. “I don’t know, unholy stuff?” he says, unable to fight off the smile tugging at his lips. You throw your head back laughing at your ridiculous best friend, deciding to not answer his accusations you push him down onto his back and pull the duvet over him. “Stay here, I’m gonna get you a bottle of water and a bucket - just in case,” you tell him and he nods. When you come down the stairs, the house is just about empty, except from Willy, who’s tying Alex’s just as drunk friend, Linus’ shoes. “I called his mum, just gonna wait here with him until she gets here and I’ll be right up,” he tells you from the hallway, when he hears you coming down. “Yeah, we’re good, I’m just gonna get him a bottle of water and a bucket... I doubt that he’s gonna feel well tomorrow,” you inform him before going into the kitchen. When you come back up, Alex has managed to kick off his jeans, and you’re thankful that you didn’t have to help him with that. His eyes are barely open. “Here, please drink a little bit before you fall asleep,” you give him the bottle and he grunts but does as he’s told. “I’m sorry that I got mad at you and Willy,” he mumbled between gulps of water. You smile, telling him that it’s okay. You put the bottle on his nightstand and he lays back. You’re about to leave when he grabs your arm. “I think Willy is in love with you, and-and I think you’re in love with him, too,” he says, his words completely freezing you in your spot. “I just don’t want you to forget about me,” he says, half asleep - and his words pull you out of your trance. You bend down, pulling his sleepy form into a hug. “I’ll never forget about you, Alex. Never. I love you,” you tell him, kissing his temple before letting go of him. “I love you, too,” he says, his words barely coherent. You turn around, finally leaving the room and you almost scream when you see the brother in question standing in the doorway. He chuckles at your reaction, and moves backwards into the hallway of the second floor to let you exit Alex’s bedroom. “Jesus, how long have you been standing there?” you ask him, your hand still clutched to your chest. He shrugs, smiling, and your hearts starts beating faster at the thought of him hearing what Alex said to you. But the sight of the living room with the lights on, snaps you out of your thoughts and the small panic building in your chest. “Where are the trash bags?” you sigh, turning to look at Willy who’s behind you. He sighs as well and leaves you to find said trash bags. The next hour is spent picking up trash and cleaning up - Willy following you around with the bags while you pick up the trash. There are no words exchanged, but you work together in comfortable silence. He cleans the floors, while you wipe the tables and kitchen benches. “Don’t you have a curfew?” William asks you when you’re finally done - the digits on your phone telling you that you’re already past 3 AM. “Uhm, usually, but not tonight, no,” you told him. Your parents had decided that since it was Alex’s birthday party and at the Nylander’s house, you could stay till the party was over. Considering that you were basically a host - that seemed fair. And besides, Alex had promised your mom that he would follow you home... Before you could even tell Willy about his little brother’s broken promise, he was already offering. “I’ll follow you home. I won’t let you walk home alone in the middle of the night,” he says, the smile on his mouth tells you that he wasn’t just doing it because he felt like he had to, but because he wanted to. You nodded, not even bothering to try and fight him on the matter - also, you wanted him to. You put on your outerwear and shoes, yourself bundling up in a scarf as March in Sweden still could be considered winter. “That’s cute,” Willy smiles, his hand coming up to pull the big scarf even further up around your cheeks and ears - and you already feel warmer because of his little comment. You walk out in the cold night, you a few feet ahead of him as he locks the door behind him. “Hey, slow down,” he whispers as he catches up to you. “Slow down? It’s freezing cold,” you smile behind your huge scarf, and he nods. “With this tempo, you’ll be home in just 5 minutes,” he informs you, and you chuckle at his dramatics. It would take you 8 minutes, at least. “Isn’t that a good thing?” you ask him, your smile turning into a smirk. He shrugs again, just like he had when you’d asked him how long he’d been standing in Alex’s doorway about an hour earlier. “I don’t know, it’s just that it means less time with you - like I said earlier - we never spend time together just me and you,” he spoke bravely. You just smiled at his statement, nodding when he looked at you for some kind of conformation. “Uhm, this is going to sound weird but... Which one of your hands are the coldest?” he asks, and you laugh as a reaction to his question. “I don’t know, this one maybe?” you grin, holding up your right hand. He nods and moves to your right side, taking your hand and intertwining his fingers with yours. You roll your eyes at him, even if you know very well that he’s the only reason that there’s warmth spreading in your body. “What?” he asks, and you just shake your head, a wide smile spreads on your rosy cheeks (if they were rosy because of the cold or because of his hand in yours - you would never know). “I just thought that it was a nice bridge into holding your hand,” he tells you, and you laugh out loud this time - forgetting that you’re walking through a suburban area in the middle of the night, both you and William bursting out into giggles when you see the light come on in one of the windows. “You have to be quiet,” he whispers, leaning in close like there’s any chance that they could hear you at that volume. “If I have to be quiet then you have to stop saying stupid shit like that,” you argue. “Stupid shit like what?” he asks, his free hand held up to his chest dramatically. “Stupid shit like asking me which of my hands is colder just so you can hold my hand,” you chuckle, your brain starting to see the red lines between this sudden hand holding and Alex’s words earlier. “Stupid shit like pretending that you didn’t hear the whole conversation between me and Alex when you obviously did,” you whisper in a moment of bravery, swallowing hard once the words are out and your heart starts beating in a million miles an hour. He looks down for a second, before turning to look at you - stopping right there in the middle of the street, in the middle of the night. “If what Alex said isn’t true, William - you have to stop doing all these things. I try to seem cool and nonchalant about it all, like you holding my hand or letting me sit in your lap doesn’t make my heart feel like it’s gonna beat itself out of my fucking chest,” you start, letting go of his hand and continue on the journey toward your house - knowing that he would follow you regardless of his feelings towards you. “So if you’re not feeling that, you-you can’t.. I mean, you fucking kissed me on New Year’s Eve and I haven’t stopped replaying it in my mind ever since,” the panic building in your chest starts messing up your words, but you’re interrupted before you can say anything else. “Y/N,” he grabs your hand again, his fingers intertwining with yours without you even having to think about it - it’s just meant to be like that. “I kissed you on New Year’s Eve because I really wanted to kiss you, and I thought that if someone saw or if you didn’t like it, I could just ‘it was a New Year’s kiss and you were the closest girl, sorry’. And there wasn’t a space for you to sit, but that doesn’t mean that I didn’t want you to sit in my lap. I wanted you close to me. And every other situation where I could have sat down somewhere else, could have done something else, I just always end up next to you in some kind of way because I can’t fucking stay away from you,” he explains, his voice is soft and slow. “You know, I wish that I could say that you’re like another little sister to me,” he says, and you look up, meeting his eyes. “But you’re not,” his last words come out as whispers, and he lets go of your hand only to put his hands on your waist and pull you into him. You stand with your bodies pressed together, your faces inches apart for a minute, his eyes flicking between your eyes and your lips. Until he leans in closer, not all the way, but enough to press his forehead against yours and your eyes fall closed. Just a little push up on your toes and your lips would be on his - you just had to find the courage. Your arms rest upon his, your fingers curling around his upper arms. He jerks forward a little bit, his nose side by side with yours and it’s the last little kick you needed to push up on your toes and plant your lips to his in a kiss. One of his arms curls around your waist, pulling you even closer, while his other hand comes up to the side of your face, making its way in between your thick scarf and your skin to hold you to him. Your own hands creep upwards and end up on the back of his neck, your fingers inching their way underneath his beanie and into his hair. His lips move away from yours for just a second, your lips following his like a magnet, before he comes back in with a deeper kiss - his hand sliding back, into your hair. You feel so warm with his hands around you and his lips moving against your lips, the cold air around you long forgotten. At this point you could’ve worn a summer dress and you wouldn’t have been cold.    When you eventually pull away, you are both out of breath. Willy pulls you back in immediately, but in a hug this time, and you both laugh softly - happily. Letting go of his embrace of you, he kisses your cheek once and then your lips once, then twice. “I think we’ve been standing here for like 5 minutes or something,” you giggle, looking around you at the houses around you, only lit up by their porch lights. “Could stand here all night,” he says, his smile just as cheesy as his statement. You roll your eyes at him, but you don’t bother even trying to conceal your smile as you take his hand and pull him with you down the street, only a few minutes from your house. “What? Are you trying to get away from me or something?” he chuckles at your new pace. “I’m dragging you along with me, aren’t I?” you laugh, stopping and turning around to face him - your arms go up to slide around his neck and you pull him down to kiss him again. His own arms circle your waist and after the fourth or fifth kiss - you’re not really sure - he tightens his hold on you and lifts you up. He starts walking and only when you’re a few feet from your driveway, he lets you back down. “Uhm, thanks for the ride?” you joke, making him laugh - but you quickly put your hand over his mouth, suddenly remembering that your parents are asleep - or worse, your mom is awake waiting for you, not being able to sleep until she knows you’re home. You stop on your front porch, dreading saying goodbye. You get up on your toes, your arms sliding back around his neck in a hug, his arms come around you and he pulls you into him. “Mm, now I don’t wanna leave you,” he mumbles into your hair, and warmth spreads through your body. “Mm, I’ll probably come over tomorrow,” you tell him, and you can feel him nodding. “But it won’t be just you and I, then,” he says, pulling back from the hug only to press his lips to yours in a deep kiss. His hand come up to your face, and his lips moves against yours. “We won’t get to do this,” he whispers between kisses, and you hum against his lips. You pull away from each other quickly when you hear the lock turn and the door start to open behind you, your mother appearing behind it. “Oh, hi, William,” she says when she sees him instead of his little brother. “What happened to Alex?” she asks, and you’re preparing to come up with a lie about him staying home and cleaning up or something, but William just straight up tells her the truth. “But we were both very responsible and put him to bed and cleaned up and everything,” he says, and your mom chuckles. “And of course, I didn’t let her go home alone at this hour,” he adds, making your mom’s fondness of the oldest Nylander brother grow even greater. “I am very grateful, William, thank you,” she smiles at him before turning to you. “Are you going to come inside or are you just going to stand out in the cold all night?” she asks, making you laugh. “I was going to come inside, but then you came out and Willy here just had to play this game I like to call ‘how much can I charm Mrs. Y/L/N today?’” you said, making them both laugh, your mom with an embarrassed undertone. “Yeah, yeah, come on in now, it’s nearly 4AM,” she smiles, saying goodbye to Will before leaving – the door still open. You watch as she starts on the stairs up to the second floor, and you quickly hide behind the door, stepping up on your toes to plant one last kiss, or two, on his lips. “Good night,” you smile, and he kisses you one more time before he says the words back to you. “Uhm, text me when you get back. You know, 17 year old boys can be kidnapped, too,” you say, making him throw his head back laughing, potentially waking the neighbors. “Yeah, thank you, now I have to run home,” he chuckles before walking backwards down your driveway, looking at you looking at him, your head sticking out from behind the door – smiling.

March 2014 After coming home and going to bed only minutes before the clock struck 4AM and talking to Willy on the phone until he got back – and then reliving every kiss and every touch between you and Willy until you fell asleep – it was safe to say that you slept in. The numbers on your phone had inched their way past 2PM before you hauled your ass back over to the Nylander house, after having received snapchats from both the brothers – and their mom. You’d woken to a snapchat from Willy who’d woken up and thought that he had dreamt all of last night’s events until he saw the evidence in his phone – a screenshotted snapchat from a friend with you on his lap, and the phone call of 13 minutes at 4AM. Next came the snaps of an hungover Alex, and then the snapchats from Camilla who admired how exceptionally clean her house was after the work you and Willy had done after the party. Camilla grabs you the second you come through the door, kissing your cheek. “You’re a saint, honey,” she exclaims and you laugh. “You can’t give me all the credit,” you chuckle. “I know, I know, I already made sure he knows how thankful I am – he doesn’t let me kiss his cheek anymore, though,” she laughs before letting go of you and pointing you towards the basement where you could find both her sons. “Alex, Y/N is here,” she screams and you start toward the open door leading to the stairs. William meets you halfway down the stairs, only stopping on the step beneath the one you stopped on, his face only inches from yours, his lips in just the right height. “He’s barely awake,” he whispers, quickly glancing behind you before pressing his lips to yours in a short but soft kiss, bringing all the warmth and feelings from last night right back to you. You pull back with a smile, your arms circling around his waist as you step past him, kissing him one more time before you continue down the stairs and Willy up the stairs. “Hey, you sappy piece of shit,” you shout at your best friend before dumping your ass down on the end of the couch. He groans, not even wanting to know why you called him sappy.

April 2014 “Mom and dad are going to bed right now, give me a few minutes,” you text William, who’s standing in your backyard. You wait until you hear both of them go into their room, and then a minute or two more, just in case one of them forgot something, before opening the door in your basement that lead up into the backyard, where Willy was standing. His lips turn up into a smile when he sees you, quickly stepping inside to avoid the cold that still comes around at night during April in Sweden. “Hey,” he whispers as he steps right up into your personal space – personal space that you didn’t mind sharing with him. “Hi,” you whisper back, pushing up on your tippy toes to peck his lips, before walking past him and into your bedroom. You had moved bedrooms a few years ago, from the second floor to the basement where you could have more privacy and more space. You were especially thankful for the extra privacy now. His hands sneak around your waist at the end of the hallway to your bedroom, his jacket and shoes left at the door, and he presses a kiss to your neck that’s so conveniently exposed because of the high bun you’d tied your hair into. You stop with your hand on the doorknob, letting him leave another kiss or two on your neck before you open the door to your low lit, cozy bedroom. You both fall into your bed, your head resting on his bicep while his hand plays with yours. The conversation between the two of you flows freely and easily, the question of Netflix and which movie to put on before you eventually end up with your tongues in each other’s mouths not needed. He asks about your day and you ask him about his, and then he tells you the story of how he managed to sneak out the front door without no one noticing with added dramatics, just how you like it – and you both laugh softly. You launch into a full review (with spoilers) of this book you just finished, and he listens carefully as you tell him about the characters and the little plot twists. He doesn’t really care for romantic novels with feminist undertones, or novels at all, but he still listens, hums and asks questions because he just likes to listen to you talk and get riled up about fiction. He sits up slightly, leaning on his elbow as he listens to you ramble on – his finger moving to an inch of exposed skin between the hem of your t-shirt and the waistband of your sleeping shorts, tracing soft, little circles. He smiles when you finally tell him about the book’s ending and your reactions to it – how you’d thrown it across the room, too angry to even cry about it – and he chuckles, mumbling about how cute that must’ve looked. His hand flattens on your stomach, his entire hand underneath your shirt, and your hand covers his - to  the extent that your considerably smaller hand could. Your hand creeps up his arm before slowly returning back down to his hand. He smiles sweetly, leaning down and leaving a kiss on your lips – a kiss so full of love that it warms your entire body. Your hand slides back up his arm again, fingers circling around his bicep as a way of saying that you want him to keep kissing you. You can feel him smiling against your lips, leaving a few shorter pecks before a longer one, and then a deeper one. He lays down on his side, the arm you’re resting on embracing you, his hand landing on your shoulder and he pulls you into him. Your own hand takes a stride from his arm to his neck, fingers dipping into his thick, blonde locks. As the kiss deepens, his tongue sliding along your lip, his hand on your stomach slides to your hip, pulling your body close to his. The feeling washes over you fast – and it’s not the kind of feeling that easily washes away again. It’s not like the feeling of warmth when he first kissed you, but heat, unbearable heat. Your hand leaves his neck after having had your fingers fisted in his hair, moving to the hem of his sweater instead, your fingers slipping underneath, all the way until your hand is flat on his back, feeling his back muscles work when he shifts against you. You hum against his lip, your hand slipping to his front and feeling his abs and his chest underneath your fingers instead, the need to just feel all of him underneath the tips of your fingers just not stopping. He pushes you up and even closer with the hand underneath you, his lips moving to your neck and making you gasp softly. You wanted his hands all over you, wanted to feel him feeling you –  yet his hands stayed on your back and on your hips. You pushed against him, granting yourself a groan against your neck. A thought struck you… Maybe he didn’t dare touch you anywhere else, scared that it wasn’t something you wanted. After all, with the situation being what it is, your alone time with William had been limited, meaning that you hadn’t had much time to explore each other. You decided to try something new, putting insecurities behind you and pushing him to his back and climbing on top of him to straddle him. His arms immediately wrap around you, but not for the reasons you first thought. Before you can put your weight down on him, he’s pulling you back to your previous spot next to him. “No, no,” he swallows, “you can’t do that,” his last words comes out, his hands retrieving from being wrapped around you to rest on your hip instead. You didn’t know why but it felt like he was keeping you at a distance. “Why?” you ask, your voice a lot weaker than you’d meant for it to be. His eyes shoots open in realization and his hand comes up to the side of your arm, before it quickly moves on to cup your cheek. “No, no, it’s not you, it’s me… uhm, it’s not your fault, or it kinda is your fault but really it’s mine, it’s,” he mumbles, his sudden nerves taking over his ability to form coherent sentences. “You’re not making sense, Willy,” you say, curling your hand around his wrist as his hand is still placed on your cheek. He takes a deep breath before he leans forward, kissing your lips before moving his lips to your forehead and pulling you into him, his arms wrapping around you. “It’s just that you, you mean a lot to me, and I just, I like you so much, and I’m trying really hard to not make you uncomfortable,” he pauses, taking another deep breath. “Because you, you really… you turn me on, like a lot and very easily, and I’m just trying to not make you feel uncomfortable and I don’t want you to feel like you have to do anything that you don’t want to, and I just really want you to feel safe and… comfortable with me,” he finishes, and you wrap your arm around his torso and press your lips to his chest. “There’s no one I feel more safe and comfortable with than you, okay? And I… is this why you don’t touch me?” you ask, the realization hitting you. “I mean, I-I touch you,” he says, trying to avoid where this question was going. “Will, you touch my waist, and my hips, and just, really it’s just places that are so appropriate that you could touch me there while my dad was present,” you say, making him laugh – and you’re glad, because even if it wasn’t your intention, it seemed to loosen him up a bit. “I guess, yeah,” he sighs, “just scared that you won’t like it and that you’ll push me away, and you know, it doesn’t really help my case,” his lips turn up at the last part, and so do yours as well. You pull yourself closer to him and press your lips to his in a deep kiss, and another one following after. “You know, you turn me on, too,” you say, heat rushing to your cheeks, but you smile as you see the blush creeping up his own cheeks. “And even if I don’t feel ready for all that, yet, I still feel really safe and comfortable with you and I really don’t mind that , uhm, that, that you’re turned on as well, because I know that you won’t pressure me, and I really wouldn’t mind if you touched me more,” you tell him, both of you having shy smiles on your lips. “Okay,” he nodded, trying hard to keep his smile from turning into a full blown grin. You stared at each other until your smiles became manageable again, and one of you leaned in to kiss the other again. Only a few kisses before his hand came up to the side of your face and the kiss was deepened, and you fell back into it. Bodies pushing against each other and tongues fighting for dominance. His hand is fisting your hair and you gasp against his lips when his hips roll into yours a little harder than he’d planned and you felt him hard against you for the first time – except for that one time where you’d had your feet in his lap under the blanket during movie night with an unknowing Alex on the other side of the coffee table, and you’d accidentally brushed against his accidental boner with your foot. Will pulled away slightly, and you could tell that he was a little panicky over the fact that you’d felt his obvious arousal against your body. “Don’t, don’t stop,” you whispered, pressing your lips back on his, and his arms tighten around your waist again, holding you to him. The feeling of his hardness against you had sent a wave of need trough your body, stopping between your legs. Your hand found his on your back and wrapped around his wrist, and you, with very little force, guided his hand further down until he found his way to your behind and he pressed you against him. You both moaned into the kiss and his hand slid down your thigh to the back of your knee to pull your leg over his hip, his thigh immediately pushing between yours. And it felt so good that you could barely concentrate on kissing him, and you only wanted more. You used your arm to push yourself on top of him, back to the position you’d tried before your previous conversation started. You started kissing down his neck, while your hands found their way underneath the hem of his shirt, feeling his muscles under your fingers. His own hands roamed your sides, from your thighs to your hips, from your waist to the point where his fingers slightly brushed over the side of your boobs. The action had your hips pushing down onto his, his hardness perfectly positioned under you and pressing into you were you ached the most. “Fuck,” he breathed, pushing his body up into a sitting position. He pressed his lips to yours in an openmouthed kiss, his hands on your bare waist after your t-shirt had bunched up. When you push your fingers into his hair, one of his hands come up to fondle your breast that’s only covered by a thin bralette. You moan into his mouth again, and faster than you can realize what’s happening, you’re flipped around and he’s over you. His hips rolling into yours and his lips finding your jaw, resulting in a moan that’s a little too loud for your liking. Your hand travel down his chest and abs, but it is soon stopped when William’s fingers curl around your wrist. “Fuck, we need to stop,” he curses, his forehead resting against your chest as he tries to calm himself. “I’m sorry, it’s just, my self-control stops at some point,” he mumbles, and you nod. “It’s okay,” you breathe, your hands coming up to soothingly brush through his hair, but he shakes his head and pulls away completely, moving off you and laying down on his back next to you. “You - you can’t touch me,” he says and you nod, trying to focus on calming yourself. “No, sorry, I need to go home,” he starts getting up, careful not to touch you. “No, please don’t go,” you reach out, catching his hand. “Please stay,” you whisper. “I really need to go home and fix this, I’m sorry, baby,” he says, softer this time – still careful with the distance between your bodies. The nickname sends another wave of need crashing in between your legs. “Please, Will, you can’t leave now,” your voice comes out just as needy as you feel, “just… go into my bathroom and… fix it there,” you mumble, your cheeks warming up as you suggest it. “I really need you to stay a little longer,” you add once you can tell that he’s thinking about it, taking a step closer and looking up at him – putting your lips at a close distance to his. To which he lets out a deep breath and presses his lips to yours in a deep kiss before he disappears into your bathroom. You lay there in silence, staring into the ceiling. You couldn’t have stayed still to save your own life, the feeling between your legs too much. You move underneath your duvet with the hopes that the weight of it would help keep you still, but it didn’t – it just made you warmer. You let your hand wander down your torso and in between your legs, just over your shorts, in hope of some relief, but you quickly stop when you hear the bathroom door unlock. Will climbs back into bed and underneath the covers with you, his arms wrapping around you immediately. His lips finds your forehead and you press your body into his, like you wanted to cuddle, but really you wanted him to touch you. You didn’t want to seem too eager, so you softly pressed your lips to his neck like you sometimes would do when you cuddled. But you couldn’t keep it at that, your body craving his – you kissed a trail up his neck. “Babe,” he started, but he stopped when he saw your face and let you kiss him deeply. “Please, I can’t keep still,” you talk against his lips, and he hums back as your lips are already back on his. He lets you lead his hand to where you needed it. You let go of his hand and he lays it flat between your legs, making you gasp against his lips. “Lay back, baby, relax,” he talks, and you do as you’re told – rolling to your back. He kisses you deeper while simultaneously moving his fingers over your heat. Your fingers are fisted in thick blonde locks of hair, and he groans against your mouth as you tighten your grip. You arch your back into him and his fingers move to the band of your shorts. He looks at you for any signs that this isn’t what you want, but you only nod. His fingers disappear into the waistband of both your shorts and your underwear, a curse leaves his lips when he feels your wetness on his fingers. He watches you intensely to see your reactions when he touches you, when his fingers sink into you. He watches as your mouth falls open and your eyes closed, and a fond smile tugs at his lips when you breathe out small moans. Just the fact that Willy had his fingers inside you is enough to push you to the edge of your pending orgasm. His thumb moving in circles over your clit and his lips leaving kisses on your neck had you coming in no time, moans and heavy breaths flowing out of your mouth as your orgasm comes crashing.

May 2014 You find yourself in a very crowded Nylander living room once again. Teenager’s with red solo cups all around you, getting drunk in honor of William’s 18th birthday. You sit stiffly on Alex’s lap, who’d been very clear that you two had to hang out tonight, because you always disappeared during parties, but truly it was him who either tried to win over some girl or got really drunk – or both. And now he was deep in conversation with a friend of his that you barely knew and the conversation that surrounded the topic of some PlayStation game didn’t really interest you either. You found William looking at you from across the room, who smiled at how bored you looked and motioned for you to come to him instead. Alex barely even noticed that you left, his hand that had previously rested on your hip went straight into gesticulating and helping him get to some point about a PlayStation controller. You shake your head at Alex, making Willy laugh as he is still watching you closely. He smiles at you while you make your way over to him, and the couch he’s sitting in could in theory fit another person if Willy scooted closer to the girl on his left but instead he pulled you down onto his lap. His arm slides around your waist and pulls you closer while his other hand lands on your thigh – way higher than acceptable for a younger brother’s best friend but you let him anyway, knowing how much he wants to tell everyone and be able to kiss you, or hold your hand, or cuddle you whenever he wants, no matter who’s around. Knowing how he sometimes forgets that he can’t do those things because it just feels so natural. The girl next to Willy looks at you weird, eyeing his hand on your thigh. You try to act indifferent to her stare, turning your head and whispering in his ear. “Maybe move your hand a little further down towards my knee, your friend is looking at us weird,” you speak as quietly as you could before looking away again, to not make it obvious that you were whispering in his ear. He tilts his head to the side while looking at you, and you quickly grab his wrist to keep him from doing the exact opposite. Based on the smirk tugging at his lips and the smell of alcohol on his breath, you knew he wasn’t going to listen. The girl next to you is also smirking when the two of you start giggling – you desperately trying to push his hand away from you. You give her a look, a beg for her not to say anything and she smiles reassuringly back at you. William settles after a while, his hand a little further down, but not really far enough – but you let it go. It’s his birthday, after all. “Hey, I’m gonna go get another drink, come with me?” he asks you, and you nod, getting up and leading the way. When you get to the crowded kitchen, he takes your hand in his and pulls you out the door and into the backyard instead. “I thought you were getting a drink?” you question him, letting him lead you further away from the house. “Mm, no, I just thought that whispering ‘hey wanna go make out’ and make you blush before dragging you out of the house would maybe look a little suspicious,” he tells you with a smug smile on his lips. “See, you’re blushing just from me saying that,” he laughs, letting go of your hand and poking at your red cheeks. You playfully roll your eyes and throw your arms around his neck, to which he wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you into him – just enough for your feet to leave the ground. 

His lips are pressed against yours, your feet hit the ground and you’re trapped between the wall behind you and his body. You giggle into the kiss and you can feel him smiling against your lips, a quiet hush leaving his. You get lost in his kisses, your fingers deep in his hair. His hands are on your waist, holding your body to his. Soon your tongues are sliding against each other and you’re both breathing heavily into each other’s mouths. His hips press into yours and you whimper through the kiss. One of his hands comes down to your behind, feeling you up while simultaneously pulling you closer and pressing his thigh in between yours, making a full moan roll from your tongue. He pulls his lips from yours, moving on to your neck. And somewhere between faded dance music from inside, utter bliss and lust, a thought pops into your mind. “Do you think we could sneak into your room without anyone noticing us?” you ask, your voice playful and airy. Will’s head comes up quickly, looking at you suspiciously. “What? Why?” he questions you, and your lips turn up into a wide smile. “Just wanna give you your gift in private,” you shrug, and a smile tugs at William’s lips, even if he still looks confused. “But you already gave me a gift,” he states, meaning the Crosby jersey that you and Alex had scraped your pennies together to get him. “Yeah, but this one is just from me,” you tell him, and he smiles through the blush that creeps up his cheeks. And you almost blush just from seeing his cute reaction. You stand up on your toes and kiss him deeply before you send him on his way. “You go first and I’ll be there in like five minutes,” you tell him. You wait outside for a minute or two, but then go inside to mill around for another couple of minutes just to not look like you’re going up the stairs with an agenda. Of course, you run into Alex who wonders where you’ve been. You tell him you’ve been in the bathroom with Jessica, and he believes you immediately, knowing how many times you and Jessica had snuck away for 20-30 minutes, hiding in the bathroom at birthdays, dinners and other get togethers. “And now I kinda have to go to the toilet again, alcohol just runs straight through me,” you lie, barely having had a cup of alcohol. He laughs and lets you go. You run upstairs, where the partygoers weren’t allowed to go – but having grown up with your mom being best friends with Camilla, you were hardly a guest anymore. “Took your sweet time,” William teases when you come through his bedroom door. “Ran into Alex,” you explain as you close the door behind you, locking it. “How’d you get out of that one?” he asks, his head rested against the wall behind his bed. “Told him I’d been in the bathroom with Jessica. I don’t even know if she’s here,” you chuckle, climbing into his lap – straddling him. “She’s here,” he smiles, taking your hands in his. “Good,” you breathe, leaning forward and pressing your lips to his in an immediately deep kiss. His hands finds their way to your back, underneath your blouse. Your own arms are circling his neck and pulling him up until he’s fully sitting, his body flush against yours. It never took long for your kisses to turn heated, but knowing that you didn’t have all the time in the world, you pushed your chest into his and kissed him harder as you pushed your fingers into his hair with a heavy hand – just like you knew always turned him on. He moaned into your mouth and you grinded your hips into his lap, granting yourself another one of his moans. “Did you just wanna lure me into my bed or what?” he breathes as you make your way down his neck with kisses. “Fooling me with a gift,” he jokes through his labored breath. “You’re getting a gift. Just shut up and take your shirt off,” you demand, a smirk tugging at your lips when you see his surprised but lustful look. He mumbles a curse but quickly gets his shirt off, throwing it to the floor. You don’t let yourself get distracted by his shirtless torso, just lift your hands into the air, nodding when he looks you in the eyes as to ask if you’re sure. He pulls your blouse over your head, letting it fall next to his shirt. His hands comes back to your waist immediately, feeling your soft skin underneath the tips of his fingers. You’re glad that you thought long enough to put on the nicest bra that you owned, black and a little bit lacy – even if you hadn’t planned this. His thumbs are creeping up to the sides of your bra and you lean back in, kissing him as a distraction while your hands finds the clasp on your back. You pull back from the kiss to make sure he’s watching when your bra falls from your chest, straps sliding down your shoulders. “Fuck, you’re so beautiful,” he breathes, his eyes switching between looking you in your eyes and your chest – a part of you that he hadn’t seen before. He rushed his lips to yours, kissing you hard and deep as one of his hands comes up to cup your boob. “Is this my gift?” he smiles against your lips, and you can’t keep your lips from turning into one as well. “No, it’s not,” you say before pressing into him again with both your lips and your chest. 

You let him kiss all over your chest, both enjoying the feeling of his lips on your skin and the effect it has on him. As he starts kissing his way back up to your lips again, you let your hand trail down his torso, until you’re pushing it between your bodies, laying your hand flat over his bulge. His hand is softly, halfheartedly, wrapping around your wrist immediately. “Babe, you know you can’t do that,” he talks through lust, through the voice in his head telling him to just let you and give in to the pleasure. “I’ll take care of it, I’ll take care of you,” you whisper, your forehead pressed against his. “What?” his eyes shoot open. “Let me take care of you,” you say, pressing your lips to his before he can say anything else. He seems hesitant but lets go of your wrist, moaning into your mouth when you apply more pressure to his arousal. You shift your weight to your knees instead of his lap, giving yourself more room to stroke him over his jeans. You move your fingers to the waistline of said jeans, opening the button and sliding down the zipper. You manage to fit your hand between the tight fabric and his bulge, stroking him and enjoying the groans and moans escaping his throat. He suddenly moves his legs over the edge of the bed, moving his hands to the back of your thighs and standing up with you in his arms. Your hands come up to his shoulders. “I just wanna say something before this goes any further,” he tells you, eyes locking with yours. “Okay,” you nod. “I’ve been wanting to say it for a while, and I just feel like,” he starts, but it seems like he’s getting distracted – leaning in to kiss you instead. “I – I love you. Fuck, I wasn’t just gonna burst it out like that, I - ,” he rambles on, lost in his head and not noticing your uncontrollable smile. You place your hands on each side of his face, making him look at you. “I love you, too,” you tell him, and a smile spreads on his lips as well. “You do?” he asks, smile so wide that he can barely talk. “Mm, I’ve been in love with you a lot longer than I’d like to admit,” you tell him, smiling in to the kiss you’re placing on his lips. A couple more kisses and his tongue is once again playing with yours. His hands sliding up to your back as he lets you back down, your feet landing steadily on the floor. You let one of your hands slide from the back of his neck and down his torso until they land on the waistline of his open jeans. You use both hands to pull them down his thighs, revealing his white boxers with the small, wet spot on their front. He moans into your mouth when you put your hands on him again, stroking your hand over his bulge. You pull back from his lips, standing up on your toes and placing your mouth close to his ear as you hook your fingers into the band of his boxers. “Now, you have to tell me if I’m doing something wrong, or if you don’t like it. Guide me,” you whisper, and he nods, his head pressed against your shoulder – his heavy breaths causing your skin to tingle. You stand with your feet flat on the ground again, your forehead leaning on his chest as you look down, pulling his boxers down to meet his jeans again, watching as his hard member springs free. He gasps as you take his erection into your hand. You place a kiss on his chest as you start moving your hand, leaving another on his neck. His fingers creep up into your hair and he turns his head to find your lips through labored breaths. His kisses are desperate and lustful, moans and groans vibrating against your lips. One of his hands slides down your back and to your ass before he lets his fingers slide between your legs, making you moan into the kiss – making you a little weaker in the knees. “Stop, this is about you,” you whisper against his mouth. You move on to kiss his neck, making a trail down to his collarbone and his chest and then falling to your knees. You look up to see William’s mouth fall open, his chest rising and falling rapidly. “Oh babe, you don’t have to…,” he pants, his hand coming down to cup your jaw. “I want to,” you breathe, “do you want me to?” you add, watching him as he struggles to find words, fighting with himself. “Yeah,” he eventually lets it roll of his tongue. “Just tell me if I’m doing something wrong or, or something you don’t like,” you tell him, and he nods. You take him into your mouth, keeping your hand around his shaft – your other hand on his thigh to keep yourself steady. His hands comes down to your head, gathering all your hair in his fingers to keep it from getting in your eyes as you start bobbing your head, going a little faster – his groans and heavy breaths urging you on. It doesn’t take long before his grip in your hair is tightening, and you press your thighs together at the thought of making him cum for the first time. You look up through your lashes, finding him with his head tipped back, his mouth open and panting. You push your tongue harder to his shaft, watching as his head falls forward again, his eyes clenched together as he curses. “Fuck, babe, I’m gonna come,” he groans, his eyes opening and immediately meeting yours – to which he curses again. You lead his member out of your mouth with one last lick of your tongue, only using your hands to help him to his climax, letting him cum all over your chest as he pulses in your hand. You take the scrunchie on your wrist and relieve William of his self-imposed make shift ponytail duties to make sure your hair don’t fall into the sticky liquid on your skin, before letting him take your hands in his to help you to your feet. He curses through his slowly calming breath, leaning his forehead to yours. “You’re so fucking amazing,” he breathes, leaning in to kiss you deeply, his hand coming up to cup your jaw. “I just, I want you to know that I am definitely not just saying this because you just gave me a blowjob, but I fucking love you, so much,” he says sincerely and kisses you again, making you chuckle against his lips. “I know, and I love you, too, so, so much,” you tell him, kissing the side of his mouth when he smiles just as wide as yourself. “Let’s get you cleaned up,” he says, quickly pulling up his pants and underwear again. “Uhm, I, for absolutely no reason at all, have a roll of toilet paper in my nightstand,” he laughs, blush creeping up his neck as he comes back to you with the roll in his hands. “I just had your dick in my mouth, you don’t need to blush, Will,” you laugh, making his cheeks even redder. “Also, you’re wiping your cum of my boobs, so, I don’t think you need to be embarrassed of your toilet paper roll,” you add, making him throw his head back laughing. “You’re so foul-mouthed,” he shakes his head laughing. “I kinda just want to stay locked in here with you all night,” he says, as he’s wiped it all off and thrown the used paper in his bin. “I wish,” you breathe, stepping closer to him and pressing your still naked chests to each other’s as you slide your arms around his neck. His hands comes back down to the back of your thighs and he lifts you up, letting you hook your legs around his hips. “So, uhm, did you like your extra birthday gift?” you ask, your fingers tangling in blonde hair. “Yeah,” he smiles, leaning in to kiss you again. “So much better than I imagined it,” he whispers, his lips so close to yours that you could feel them moving. You pull back with red cheeks and a smirk. “You’ve imagined it?” you ask, biting your lip as you watch him fight the blush. “More times than I’d like to admit,” he chuckles, repeating your words from earlier. After talking yourself out of staying in his room all night, you finally leave his room with your blouse carefully tucked back into your jeans and your hair back down around your shoulders. You come down the stairs and immediately spot Alex, deciding to jump on his back and give him the attention he’s probably gonna claim he’s not getting, before he points out that you’ve been ‘in the bathroom’ the last 40 minutes. Alex takes an ungracious pirouette, swinging you around, making it possible for you to catch William’s eyes as he comes down the stairs, your smile spreading to twice its size – his own spreading as well, mouthing the three words he’s been wanting to tell you for far too long. “I love you,” June 2014 You come up the stairs from the Nylander’s cellar after having spent most of the day with Alex watching serial killer documentaries on Netflix, about to go home for dinner. William joins you in the hallway, whispering plans of sneaking out to come see you later that night while you put on your shoes. You step outside, Will’s head sticking out from inside and pressing his lips to yours, his hand coming up to your neck to hold you to him as he kisses you, before telling you he loves you and letting you walk home with a warm feeling in your chest – your head spinning with terrible ideas on how to break the news to your best friend that you’re dating his older brother. That you’re in love with William. Around 8PM, someone’s at the door – but you’re comfortable on the couch, on your tenth level of Candy Crush in a row – so you just shut up and let your mom deal with it. You immediately recognize Camilla’s voice as she and your mom goes into the kitchen, you hear them giggling about drinking wine on a Thursday night and you decide to just shut your ears and ignore them. Candy crush and ignoring yapping between middle-aged women is long forgotten when you hear Camilla’s hushed voice ask for you, though. “No, she’s in her room, I think. Do you want me to go get her?” your mother asks, and Camilla quickly says no. Candy crush is officially forgotten and you try to push every guilty feeling of listening in on something you shouldn’t be listening to, to the back of your mind. “So, I think our kids are dating,” Camilla almost sounds nervous when she says it, and you have to clamp your hand over your mouth in order to keep yourself from cursing out loud. “What? Y/N and Alex?” your mother exclaims and you can’t help but roll your eyes that she would even think that. Camilla is silent for a second, and you’re guessing she’s taking a deep breath or shaking her head – or maybe both. “No, William,” she corrects your mother. “Michael was coming home from work and stopped to get the mail and I guess he saw them as Y/N was leaving our house. He said William leaned out the door and they kissed… and from that I’m guessing that Alex doesn’t know either,” she added, and you cursed yourself for not noticing Michael. “They know about us. Your dad saw us kissing and Camilla is over here telling my mom right now,” you quickly texted Willy, taking a deep breath before getting up and inserting yourself to the conversation in the kitchen. “Fuck, he was acting really weird when he came home. What are they saying?” he texted you back. You quickly texted him back that you were gonna go talk to them to make sure that they don’t get anything wrong and that you’d call him later. “I’m not in my room and I’m sorry for listening in on your conversation,” you say as you turn up in the doorway to the kitchen. Your mother still looks to be in shock, but Camilla smiles at you, motioning for you to come sit down. “So, you and William?” Camilla starts, her voice is soft and calming, her hand comes up to your shoulder as if to make you feel like you can talk freely. “Yeah,” you try to keep it from happening, but you can’t possibly keep the corners of your mouth from turning up and your cheeks from blushing, your hands immediately coming up to cover your face. “I’m sorry for not telling you guys, it’s just, like you guessed, Alex doesn’t know and I – we have no idea how to tell him, and I really don’t want him to hate me. Also I’m scared of what you’re going to say… age gap and all,” you told them. Camilla’s hand is still on your back, moving in soothing circles. “It’s okay, Y/N. And Alex will get over it, I’m sure of it. And I’m not mad,” she tells you, and you both look over at your mom who looks to be deep in thought. “How long has this been going on?” she asks, she sounds calm but you’re not sure. “I guess it really started in March, after Alex’s birthday,” you told them, and you could almost see the lightbulb lighting up above her head. “Yeah, that makes sense,” she says, and she tells Camilla about that night when you and Willy had been talking (or kissing) on your porch and she’d come out. Her stare softens when she looks at you next. “I guess, the more I think about it, the more it makes sense. You’ve been in love with him for long time, haven’t you?” she states, making your cheeks flare up and your lips tug upwards again. “Think I’ve might’ve had a crush on him since I was thirteen,” you mumble, to which they both smile. 

“I always thought that, you know, Will’s got a lot of younger siblings, thought that he was just looking out for you, that he was just doing his ‘older brother’ thing,” Camilla says, making your cheeks feel even hotter. “I mean, you’ve been around longer than his actual little sisters,” she laughs, taking a sip of her wine. “But I’ve also had my doubts sometimes, I think I’ve picked up on a fair share of flirting over the last year – and Alex’s eye-rolling,” “Why’s Alex rolling his eyes?” your dad emerges from the hallway, making all three of you silent, not knowing what to say. “Uhm, Y/N has a boyfriend,” your mom tells him. “What? Alex?” his eyes shoot your way, horrified. “No, dad. It’s William,” you tell him, looking down in fear of what’s he’s going to say to his daughter dating someone who’s two years older. “Oh, thank God it’s not Alex,” he exclaims dramatically, sitting down in the chair across for you, making you and your mom burst out laughing while Camilla sits gaping next to you. “Dad!” you scold him, and he shrugs. “I’m sorry, Camilla, but if it helps, it’s a huge compliment to your other son. Will’s a lot more polite, more of a gentleman,” he says, to which Camilla shakes her head laughing, your mother doing the same thing. “Wait, so you’re not mad?” you ask him, shocked by his reaction. “I mean, I would prefer if you stayed away from boys for a few more years, but I trust Willy, he’s a good guy – and I’ve seen how smiley and giggly you two get around each other, so it’s not really a shock either,” he shrugs, getting back up to find himself something to eat, leaving you, your mother and Camilla to stare it each other in shock. “We’re good. They’re not mad and my dad doesn’t want to kill you, like not even a little bit,” you texted Willy once Camilla left, half an hour later. “Good. I talked to my dad about it and he gave me the fucking talk…” he texted you back a few minutes later, making you chuckle to yourself as you pictured how absolutely awkward that must’ve been. Before you can reply to his text, another chimes in, making your phone vibrate in your hand. “TBH I’ve been more nervous about Alex wanting to kill me than your dad,”  

July 2014 William meets you in the hallway when you come through the door at the Nylander house. You had made plans with Alex to watch a movie after dinner, while simultaneously having planned with Willy that he was going to join the two of you. Other than Camilla cleaning up in the kitchen, there are no one around and the coast is clear – William leans in and plants his lips on yours, his arms sliding around your waist and lifting you off the floor as he kisses you. You quickly pull back when you hear Alex’s harsh words, your sock clad feet hitting the floor as William lets go of you. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” he spits the words like their venom. At least that’s what it feels like to you. He turns around in his spot, half way down the stairs, and storms back up – two steps at the time - and all the guilt you have ever felt about not telling him about your relationship with his brother gathers up into a big ball in your throat, making it hard to breathe as you run after him, begging him to wait for you. “Alex, can you please just let me in so we can talk?” you beg him, trying to open his locked bedroom door. The door flies open and you almost fall forward and into the room at the shock, but the bigger shock is Alex’s words as he shouts them right at you. “Do not fucking talk to me right now,” he yells, before his eyes shifts to behind you, where William has followed you. “And you can stay the fuck away, don’t you even try!” And then the door is smacked in your face. You can’t help but let the tears spill, all your guilt and regret coming out as salty liquid. Will’s arms are around you immediately, and you cry into his chest as his hands move in soothing circles on your back. He leads you down stairs and lets you curl up in his lap, whispering that everything will be alright, that he’ll come around, until you calm down. Camilla comes and sits down next to you, placing a reassuring hand on your leg. “Hey, what happened?” she asks, obviously having heard Alex’s screaming and your begging. “He saw us,” you breathed, “we should’ve just told him right away,” you let another tear fall down your cheek. Will’s hand comes up to cup your cheek, his thumb catching the tear and wiping it away. “It probably would have been easier, yeah, but he won’t be mad at you forever,” she tells you, and William nods at her words, letting his fingers comb through your hair. “He’ll probably be mad at Will for a week, but he can’t stay mad at you for long, I know that,” As if on cue, you can hear Alex unlock and open his door upstairs, and you all know what it means. Will kisses your forehead before he lets go of his embrace on you, letting you climb out of his lap and make your way upstairs. Camilla whispering a good luck and staying behind with her son, while you head towards what you’re guessing will be the worst fight between you and Alex ever. You lean against the doorway into his room, scared that you’d make him more mad by just bursting in – even if it obviously was opened for you. “Are you just going to stand there or are you actually going to try and make me less mad about the fact that you’re sucking face with my brother?” he says, angrily, barely looking up at you as you close the door behind you and take the safe route of sitting down in his desk chair and curling your legs up under you, instead of sitting down in his bed with him. “I’m so sorry that I haven’t told you, I know we should have just told you right away but I was so scared of your reaction that I just kept putting it off,” you start off, noticing how he rolls his eyes when you say ‘we’. You swallow hard to desperately try to keep the tears at bay. “Why are you even dating him in the first place? It’s not fucking okay,” he spits, his words hitting you like a door in the face. “Alex, it’s not like you don’t know that I have feelings for him, and vice versa,” you try to keep the conversation calm, at least on your part. “No, I don’t. You have never said anything about having feelings for him, and he has never said anything about having feeling for you,” you can hear the anger behind every word. “No, I have never told you, but I know you know, Alex. On your birthday, you probably don’t remember because of how drunk you were, but after you screamed at us for everyone to hear how bad of a best friend I was and how bad of brother he was, for.. for letting me sit in his lap when there were no open seats, I put your drunken ass to bed and you told me that you were sorry for screaming at us and that you thought he was in love with me. And that I was in love with him. That you just didn’t want me to forget about you, which I never will. And you can’t tell me that that was just something you came up with while you were drunk, cause that would be bullshit,” you tell him, feeling your own anger bubble to the surface. He could be mad at you as much as he wanted, but saying that he didn’t know about the feelings between you and William, just because none of you had ever said the words to his face, was just stupid. “You wouldn’t have been rolling your eyes at us every time Willy as much as tries to sit next to me for all these years if you didn’t know that there was something behind it,” He’s silent for a while, and you know it’s because he’s out of arguments. “What happened to always telling each other the truth, huh?” he huffs, using the decade old promise against you – a promise between two kids who had no idea what life had planned for them, that had no idea that not being the same gender would make things harder for their friendship in their teenage years. “Yeah, we swore to always be honest with each other, but that was when we were kids, Alex, when we were 6 years old. At some point I realized that there are some things that you just don’t tell your best friend when that best friend is a boy. Like when I got my period - God, how many lies I came up with when I was bleeding out of my freaking vagina, and in pain for something that you wouldn’t understand at 12 years old. And same goes for developing a huge crush on your fucking older brother. Fuck, Alex, I’ve been in love with Will since I was like 14,” you can’t help but let your voice raise, your hopes of staying calm long gone – your tears threatening to spill after every word you said.    “It still doesn’t fucking make it okay. I don’t care if you’re in love. You went behind my back. You, my best friend, and my god damn big brother went behind my back. You lied to me. You didn’t tell the truth. If you think that you can come crying to me when he hurts you, when he breaks your heart, you thought fucking wrong,” he screams now, furious, and your tears finally come crashing down your cheeks. “You’re supposed to be the brother that I never got, you’re supposed to be protective of me,” you cry. “You should be happy that it’s your brother, whom you love and trust, that I know you look up to, so much. You should be happy that it isn’t some other guy that’ll hurt me. You know that Willy wouldn’t hurt me, you know it as well as I do. God, even my dad accepts it, that someone two years older is dating his little girl, because it’s Will, and only because it’s him,” you dry your tears with the back of your hand, the light grey of your hoodie turning dark when it slides over your wet cheeks. “Yeah, it fucking sucks that we didn’t tell you, and I’m fucking sorry. You can scream at me as much as you want, but I love him and I love you. You’re always gonna be my best friend, Alex, and I’m always gonna be yours, so fucking grow up and deal with it,” your last words are calm and steady, even with rivers of tears running down your cheeks, and you get up from your chair and you leave his room, closing the door behind you. You dry more tears on your sleeve when you walk back down the stairs, meeting Michael at the end, who meets you with open arms and a warm hug. He’d come home with the girls while you were up there, and immediately heard the screaming of his youngest son upstairs while simultaneously having seen the grave look on his oldest. Behind Michael, William is telling his younger sisters, who looks to have a far better reaction than Alex. And you can’t help but smile when Daniella wraps her arms around your torso, not reaching higher at just eight years old, and tells you that she thinks it’s really cool that you are dating her big brother. William is still sat on the couch, now sideways, and he pulls you closer to sit between his legs when you sit down next to him. You fill him in on the parts of the conversation that couldn’t be heard, like what you’d said. He’s got his fingers running through your hair, his lips touching your temple every now and then – and despite the fact that your best friend is upstairs more angry with you and his brother than ever before – it feels nice, finally being able to just be you and William without having to hide away. To be able to have more than a platonic arm around your shoulders, while his family roams around you, going on with their day. And it doesn’t take long before you’re asleep with your head rested on his chest and his arms around you. You’re woken up by the sound of William talking, and you quickly realize that he’s on the phone – on your phone. “Yeah, she woke up now. I’ll follow her home, yeah. Bye,” he ends the call. “Hey, you feeling better?” he asks, and you nod, happy that you’ve managed to sleep away the headache that came with the screaming and crying. “Your mom called, she wants you to come home,” he informs you, even if you already kind of gathered that information. He holds your hand all the way home, either that or his arm is around your shoulders, keeping you safely tucked into him. “I told your mom about the Alex situation,” he tells you. “Yeah?” you look up at him from your spot under his arm. “Yeah, I guess she could hear that I was kinda worried about you, so I just told her what happened, in short. That you fought and that you cried a lot, I mean, she’ll see that the second she sees you,” he informs you. “Oh, God, I look awful, don’t I?” you whine, pressing your cheek into his chest. “Hey, no, you do not look awful. You look just as beautiful as you always do. I’m just saying that I can see that you’ve been crying, and your mother will definitely see that,” he says, sincerely. He stops, his hand coming up to cup your cheek while he looks at you with eyes that demands that you meet his gaze. “I love you,” he whispers, not letting you say it back before he presses his lips to yours in a sweet but long kiss. “I love you, too,” you speak against his lips before kissing him again, pouring the overwhelming love you feel for him into the kiss. “Even though this really fucking sucks, I also feel like there’s a weight lifted off my shoulders. And I am really glad that we can finally just be us. Like, if Alex comes out of his room now and finds out that you’re following me home, he’ll probably be mad about it, but at least he won’t think that it’s weird. I’m just happy that we don’t have to hide from everyone anymore,” you tell him,  and he nods at your words, pulling you in with the hand that is holding yours and pressing a kiss to your temple. “I don’t have to pull you out of the house or look around the room to see who’s around to kiss you anymore,” he smiles, ducking down to catch your lips. He kisses you deeply on the porch before you enter your house, your mom meeting you in the hallway when she hears you come inside. Her expression softens when she sees you, blood shot eyes and red cheeks, and she pulls you into a hug. She also gives William a hug before she leaves the two of you to say goodbye. “I’ll call you before I go to bed, yeah?” he says and you nod, leaning up and pressing your lips to his. “You’re a really good boyfriend, you know that?” you whisper as you move from the kiss and into a tight hug. “I try my best. And also it’s just really easy with you,” he whispers back, and you can feel the first genuine smile spread on your lips since he met you in the hallway hours ago. Another kiss and another I love you and he’s on his way back home again.    “Camilla called after I spoke to William on the phone,” your mom tells you when you come into the living room. “She filled me in on what happened, a little more than Willy did. And she also told me that she thinks you and William seem really good together, that she thought that he handled it all really well and that he was really good to you,” she smiles as she tells you this, and a warm feeling fills your chest. “He is really good to me, mom, he really is. He makes me so happy, and he loves me, and I just hope that Alex can see that, too,” you say, laying down with your head in her lap so that she could draw her fingers through your hair. “He will. I know he will, honey,” she reassures you. An hour or so later, you’re tucked into bed with Willy on the phone. It has become routine, calling every night before you go to sleep. “You know, we can finally go out on a date now,” Willy says, and you can tell from the way he sounds that he’s smiling, making you smile as well. “Yeah, I know, we co- Hold on, I just got a text from Alex,” you interrupt yourself when you see the little banner with his name on it on top of your screen. “What? Seriously? I haven’t seen him since, you know, he saw us,” he sounds as surprised as you are. “Yeah, uhm, I guess I gotta go, he’s here,” you tell him, getting up from bed and throwing on a hoodie. “Oh, really? Text me after, I’ll probably be awake,” he rounds off the phone call while you send Alex a text that you’ll be right out. “Yeah. I’m just gonna say good night anyway, love you,” and you end the call once he’s repeated the words back to you and wished you good luck. You swallow hard before opening the door to Alex. You’d never opened that door for Alex in the night, it had always just been his brother. “I’m sorry,” he bursts out before you can say as much as hello. “I’m sorry, too,” you say it right back, and his arms are around you pulling you in for a tight hug. “Come in, let’s talk, yeah?” you say once you’ve pulled back from the hug, stepping aside to let him come in. You both settle into your bed, yourself with the comforter over your bare legs. “Can I just talk?” he asks, looking at you by his side. You nod, swallowing all the ‘I’m sorrys and explanations you had prepared for the moment he wanted to talk to you again. “I’m sorry that I screamed at you, I shouldn’t have,” he started. And you wanted to say that he had every right to be mad but you desperately fought the words forming on your tongue, to let him speak his mind. “Of course I know that you’re in love with Will, and it’s even more obvious that he’s in love with you – I just… It just hurt my feelings that you didn’t tell me, you and him both.” You choke back more feelings of regret and guilt, blinking back the tears that wants out just from the thought of having hurt your best friend’s feelings.  Meanwhile he’s pulling his knees up under his chin, looking straight ahead, out into your bedroom. “You’re right in everything that you said today. I was just being immature and irrational because I was hurt and my fear finally came true,” he says, and you can’t help but talk, even if just for one word. “Fear?” you ask. “Yeah, I don’t know what else to call it. I’ve always known that the day would come when you’ll be his and not mine anymore, when he’ll be your first priority and not me, when my mom will introduce you as William’s girlfriend and not Alex’s best friend. I knew the day would come, but I guess I didn’t think it would come so fast. I’m not ready to lose you yet.” “You’ll never lose me, Alex,” you whisper, letting a silent tear fall down your cheek, as you reach out and lay your hand on his arm. His hand covers yours. “I know, I know,” he whispers back. “I know I won’t actually lose you, but you and me both know that things will be different,” he looks over at you, and you nod, your lower lip between your teeth. Things would change, but the fact that Alex is your best friend would never. “I completely understand that it was difficult to tell me. It downed upon me earlier that you have never told me about a crush, never said a word about some boy you liked, even if I’ve told you about every single one of my crushes – and it makes sense now because it’s been Will for as long as crushes has been a thing for you. Because, obviously, you could have told me about your crushes. But it would have been weird because your crush has always been my older brother,” he talks freely, every bit of anger in his voice from earlier gone. “I understand that I haven’t made it easy, with my eye-rolling and, apparently, drunk screaming. And I most likely would have been immature and made gagging noises and rolled my eyes until they nearly fell out if you did tell me, but I do wish that you would have just told me from the start. So that I could have been a part of it, if that makes sense? Because from the looks of what I saw earlier today, this has been going on for quite some time?” he ends his speech with a question, but it doesn’t look like he’s done quite yet. Your eyes meet his, and his expression softens. “I guess I just want your complete honesty from now on,” he finishes and it’s your cue to start talking. “It all started on the night of your birthday,” you took a deep breath before launching into your long explanation. “And I know that that is a hell of a long time to keep it from you, and I don’t have a valid excuse for that, other than I was scared. But, you know, over the last year he’s been flirting with me a lot, and I didn’t really understand that that’s what it was until that night,” you tell him, along with the full story of what really happened at his birthday party and the conversation you had in his bedroom that night. “On our way home, I confronted him about it, because he had obviously heard what you said, and I told him how it affected me when he would do things like let me sit in his lap, because of how stupidly in love with him I was. I am. He also kissed me on new year’s eve without anyone noticing, and other than a few texts that same night, he’d never said a word about it. And I obviously never forgot.” Alex listened intently, small expressions like humming and his eyebrows lifting as reactions to your words. “So he told me about his feelings for me and we ki- you don’t wanna hear about this,” you interrupted yourself, to which Alex shook his head and chuckled. “Well, it’s all gone slowly from there, because we obviously haven’t had the opportunity to spend a lot of time together, alone, with the situation being what it is. When we have spent time together, it’s been sneaking away at parties or him sneaking out of the house after everyone’s gone to bed, you know. And our parents found out just a couple of weeks ago, because your dad saw us kissing when we thought no one was around,” you tell him, and he nods, taking it all in.    He scoots closer, laying his arm over your shoulders and letting you lean into him. “That reminds of something you said today. You said that even your dad accepts it, because it’s Will. And I said some absolute bullshit about him breaking your heart and that you can’t come to me crying, and again, you’re completely right… I don’t think that will happen, but against my strong beliefs, if something does happen, I’ll always be your best friend and I’ll always be there for you, and if I need to, I know I can knock him out,” he says, and you can tell he’s smirking at the last part and you finally let a laugh roll off your tongue. You both fall silent after that, finally feeling calm with Alex’s arm around you and with the words of his forgiveness still echoing in your ears. “Are you going to forgive Will as well?” you whisper, thinking about their mother’s words from earlier, how she’d said that Alex couldn’t stay mad at you for long but that it would take longer with William. “I’ll probably give him the silent treatment for a week,” he says matter of factly, and you can’t help but burst out laughing. “What?” Alex asks, looking down at you, under his arm. “It’s just, that’s exactly what your mother predicted,” you explained, and a smile tugged at his lips. “Fuck, that woman knows me to well,” he jokes and you burst out laughing again. And it felt good laughing again, in a way that only your best friend knew how to make you laugh. “Now I can’t do that. The question is; Do I outdo myself and give him the silent treatment for two weeks? Or do I just forgive him right away so that my mother thinks better of me,” he thinks out loud. “I think you should forgive him right away,” you say after a while. “But I don’t want to,” he whines, but you know he means it. “If someone deserves to be forgiven right away, it’s him. Not me. If it was up to him we would have told you after a week,” you said, releasing a deep breath. You can sense that he’s tensing up, but his arm stays around you. “Why?” he asks, and you take another deep breath. “First of all, I was really scared of what your reaction would be. You know, with the eye-rolling and all that. Also, when you screamed at us on the night of your birthday party, you said that Will had been trying to steal me away from you for years, and I couldn’t help but think that it was how you really felt. But I also wanted to see if it would work out between me and Will before I said anything to anyone,” you told him. “What? Did you not think it would work out? You’re best friends and you’ve known him all your life. And you’ve been in love with him for years, right? It’s kinda disgusting but it’s obvious that you’re like meant to be or whatever,” he said, so low that it could be categorized as whispering. “I never doubted my own feelings, or our friendship. I just couldn’t believe that he was in love with me. But he proved me wrong,” you finished, leaning more into Alex, who stayed quiet. “I forgive you, and I’ll forgive him, too, I promise. But not until tomorrow, at like 4 o’clock,” he says after a while of silence. He manages to get you smiling again, even if you were worried that he would get angry at you again. “Thank you, Alex,” you breathe, your arm moving around his waist and you hug him to you. “Yeah, yeah, just no making out around me and no details that I definitely don’t need, okay?” he chuckles, and you do the same. “Deal,” you tell him, securing the promise with a pinky swear. “Now, I’m gonna go home before you fall asleep on me and I end up sitting here all night with a dead arm, okay?” he tells you, smiling. You roll your eyes at him as he gets up from the bed. “Dead arms and force-cuddling is now reserved for my brother, thank you very much,” he smirks and earns a pillow to the head for the comment. “Excuse me, you like my cuddles,” you tell him as you follow him out of your room. “You’ll see. You’re going to miss them when you’re not getting any,” you add on once he starts shaking his head. It’s all forgotten, though, when he hugs you and tells that he loves you – and good night.

August 2014 Going to the lake with your friends was one of your absolute favorite summer activities. After a period with some not-so-sunny and not-so-hot days, the sun was finally out again and the temperature was back to being excruciatingly hot, which meant that every teenager in Sweden was on their way to the closest body of water. It was the first time that you and William would go out with your group of friends as a couple and it was fair to say that you were a little bit nervous. You were ready with your bikini on, covered by a pair of denim shorts and a t-shirt, when Alex and William, along with four of your other friends, come by your house. And with the usual hollers and greetings while you walked down the pathway from your house to your street, the endless dilemma in your head on how to deal with this new situation was long forgotten. You made your way through the group of friends with various ‘hey’s and a hug or two until you ended up by William, who greeted you with the extra big smile that was reserved for you, and you only, before he pulled you to him, sliding his arm over your shoulders and pressing a kiss to your temple. And you couldn’t help but laugh when you hear Alex speak dramatically; “Oh, you didn’t know? They’re dating. I didn’t either,” Alex seems happy when you jump on his back on your way down the trail to the lake, but also like he was trying to determine if you did it because you wanted to or if you’re just trying to give him more attention because you’re dating his brother. He also tried to pretend that he thinks it’s annoying but you know that he doesn’t. And then he tries to throw you in the lake with your clothes still on, at least he makes you believe that he actually will – to which Willy comes to your rescue – and Alex rolls his eyes and lightheartedly makes a joke about Willy being your knight in shining armor. Alex rolls his eyes again when Will asks you to rub sunscreen onto his back, to which you mutter something about how Alex and his red back better get in line. He rolls his eyes again when Willy rubs sunscreen onto your back, before he makes comment for everyone else’s enjoyment: “At least, now I won’t have to do it.” Time flies by quickly when you’re having fun – running around in the sand with your best friends, jumping from rocks with Alex and occasionally being picked up by Will and thrown into the water. One time he picks you up and carries you out slowly, pretending that he’ll drop you a few times making you squeal or giggle, but then he’ll pull you even further up and kiss you. When he stops up, so far out that you can’t reach the bottom anymore, he lets you lock your legs around his waist while his arms slide around you, holding you while he presses his lips to yours. Behind you can hear your friend Caroline scolding Alex; “Shut up, they’re cute,” Half an hour later you’re sat on top of a big rock in the lake with Alex and Linus, while William is lying on his beach towel back by the water’s edge. You can hear a few more people coming  down to the lake, voices and laughter coming closer. You know them, but they’re more Will’s friends than yours and Alex’s. Also, you haven’t really seen any of them over the summer. “Oh, you better watch out, Y/N,” Linus says, his voice almost sounding nervous. “What?” you open up your eyes after having had your face turned up towards the sun. “Oh,” you say, nonchalantly. Everyone, except your boyfriend, knows that Christine, one of the girls that are now arriving at the lake, has a huge crush on him. And she was never subtle about it. “Oh?” Alex repeats, mimicking you. “I trust him, even if he is completely oblivious,” you tell them, watching as she sits down as close to him as humanly possible without actually sitting on him. The rock that you and the boys are sitting on are close enough to the beach for you to hear most of what is being said. William’s eyes meet yours when Christine touches him for the second time within the five minutes she’s been there. You smile and he smiles back at you – and you think maybe he finally understood what his friend was doing. Or trying to do. He moves away from Christine, in the guise of turning towards all his friends. He sends another smile your way before he starts talking. “I wanted to tell you something. All of you,” he smiles, motioning to the ones that had just arrived. “Okay?” one of them says, before they all turn their attention to William. “I have a girlfriend,” he says, enthusiastically. The questions comes flying after that, from everyone but Christine. And one of them don’t even believe him until he tells them that it’s you. You turn your attention away from what was going on around William, and back to soaking up the sun. But only for a few minutes, though, before you’re turned victim to the Nylander brother’s antics and you’re once again in the water and in the arms of your boyfriend. “Did you finally realize that I’m not the only one with a crush on you,” you ask, your voice low and playful, once you’re out of the shallows. “Uhm, I think I might,” he makes a face as he says it, and you laugh at him. “You’re pretty oblivious, aren’t you?” you tease, and he shrugs, pulling you in for a kiss. “It makes sense now, though,” he says, “also, not be cocky, but I don’t think what you feel for me qualifies as a crush,” he adds, smirking. “Mm, no, haven’t been able to qualify this as a crush since I was like thirteen,” August 2014 Every year the Nylanders would have an end of summer barbecue. You loved these parties because you got to hang out with your friends all night, friends you didn’t see all the time, and of course, Alex and William. But you also hated them because your mom’s friends were extremely annoying and nosy, especially when it came to you. And now, with your mom and Camilla being a little too excited about their kids dating, everyone would know about yours and William’s relationship. And none of them would leave you alone. Less than an hour into the party and you feel like you’re about to explode. It doesn’t really help with the attention, but William has begun to actively be next to you, a hand on your shoulder or on your waist – somewhere – trying his best to keep you sane through it all. Some were sweet, just smiling, maybe adding that you looked cute together or that it warmed their heart or something, but not all of your moms friends were very appropriate, making eyes at you and whispering little things that sent you into a constant state of cringe for 5 minutes straight. You weren’t the only ones that were being bugged about the matter of yours and William’s relationship. Your dad got the question several times, of what he thought about his little girl dating the big shot hockey player of the Nylander family, to which he first just rolled his eyes, but after a while, when the repeated question became annoying, he said; “You know what, I really don’t mind, Willy is really nice to her and that’s all that matters,”. And then at one point, with a smirk, added – “I’m just glad it wasn’t this little fucker,” – while motioning to Alex, who was standing next to him. Alex also got a fair amount of attention because of it but Alex loved attention. “So what do you think about Y/N dating your brother,” someone would ask him, and he would smile and tell them some overdramatic story. “But you know what, I’m happy for them. And it’s not like I didn’t see it coming. I was mad about for about five hours, but as soon as I realized that I’m not the one who has to follow her around the mall anymore, I was completely fine,” he would end, making the circle of middle aged women around him erupt in laughter. “Hey, just ignore them. Let’s just have a good time, okay?” William spoke, sliding one of his arms around your shoulders and pulling you closer to his front while simultaneously cupping your cheek with his hand. The comment made from your mom’s friend, Isabella, had you fuming – you see, she just knew from the day you were born that the boys wouldn’t be able to keep their eyes off you. He looks at you with wide eyes and lifted eyebrows until you smile – making you look away as you try to hide the fact that he has that kind of power over you but failing miserably. A smile spreads on his lips as a reaction to yours. Moving his hand to your jaw, he tilts your head back towards him and pulls you into a sweet kiss. And then one that isn’t that sweet, one that is short but still manages to fill your gut with heat before he pulls back. “What?” you hear your mom’s friend Karen say, the gossip queen of their friend group. She’s in conversation with your mom, Camilla, your dad and few of their friends. Camilla and your mom are obviously telling her about you and Willy. “Are you surprised?” Camilla asks her, to which Karen looks even more surprised. “What? No. Are you? I mean, is this new? Are you just now hearing about it?” This really makes your ears perk up. You and William look at each other with furrowed brows before you both turn your attention back to Karen and the rest of them. “What? We found out about it in June… What do you mean?” Your mom asks, and you can see your dad lean into the conversation he’d probably found extremely uninteresting up until now. “In June? They’ve been flirting for years! And I am 100% sure I saw them kissing on New Year’s Eve,” she tells them, motioning towards you and Willy, who were halfway across the garden but were quite obviously listening in on the conversation. “What?” both your mother and Camilla exclaims, turning towards you, and you and Willy walk over with red cheeks – Willy holding your hand and basically pulling you with him. “I just thought that everyone but me knew about it, so I didn’t mention it,” Karen said, but your parents were turned towards you. “You said you started dating in March,” you mom stated. “And that’s the truth,” Willy argued, but it wasn’t enough. Your cheeks turn even redder. “God… He sprung a kiss on me at midnight, caught me completely off guard, and then ran off like nothing happened and never said anything about it for just about three months, when we actually started dating,” you rambled, making everyone laugh. “Well, I…  Excuse me, but I texted you that night,” Willy argues next to you, making them laugh more. “Uh, yeah, at like 4 AM asking if I was mad at you for it,” you said, your head turning to him. The blush on your cheeks disappeared and you were laughing with the rest of the group. “That shit fucked me up,” you added, making them all laugh, including William – before he pulled you into him, kissing your temple and telling you he’s sorry with a smile and blushing cheeks. “Did it really fuck you up? When I kissed you on new year’s eve?” he asks when you’re alone again, sitting in the swinging bench in the backyard. Your legs are resting across his lap as you sit sideways in the seat, his hand moving up and down your bare calf. You smile at his question. “Uh, yeah, I couldn’t sleep. I had all kinds of thoughts running through my head trying to come up with every possible reason for you to kiss me that wasn’t that you actually just wanted to kiss me – I just couldn’t let myself believe that you wanted to kiss me,” you told him, eyeing him as he tucked his bottom lip between his teeth. “And then I was finally falling asleep, I was so close, and then you texted me and my head was back to spinning again,” you added, laughing lightly when his head fell back with a curse falling from his lips. “I’m sorry, that was really stupid of me,” he apologized, red cheeks and an embarrassed smile. “You’re forgiven,” you told him, laying a hand on his arm. “Good. I just really wanted to kiss you, you know,” he mumbled, and you took hold of his shirt and pulled him closer, until his upper body was over yours and you could press your lips to his. The kiss lasted longer than it should have. And so did the next one – sending sparks of warmth and want for your boyfriend flying everywhere, making your skin feel like it was on fire wherever he touched you. “Yeah, yeah, that’s enough,” Alex says as he approaches you, spreading out in the third and last seat of the swinging bench. By now, Alex is used to seeing you kissing his brother, and actually gave up making gagging noises whenever he saw you about a month ago. Will pushed himself away from you and back to his previous position, and you immediately miss his hands on your skin. They come back pretty quickly, though, but on your calf instead of further up – on your thigh, under the material of your summer dress. Whenever his fingers crawl closer to your knee, there are waves traveling through your body and crashing between your legs, making the pool of want and lust in your panties grow. An hour or so later, dinner is served. Meaning that everyone is lining up next to the grill and filling their plates with various meats, breads, salads and condiments. You and Will are still queued up with empty plates, his body coming closer and pressing into yours as you’re standing in front of him. His free hand comes around your waist and you pray for just an hour alone with him when he presses a kiss or two to your shoulder. You can sense your mom looking at you from her spot by the table, and you can tell by the smile on her face and the soft look in her eyes that she thinks it’s sweet, but both you and Will know that there isn’t anything sweet about his hand flat across your hip and the lingering kisses on your shoulder. There’s nothing sweet about how it makes you feel. There’s nothing sweet about the hand on your thigh when Will’s done eating either, how it travels across your lap and under the material of your dress. How his thumb moves between your thighs and starts drawing circles on the soft and sensitive skin of your inner thighs. There is nothing sweet about your hand grabbing his and leading him inside the house under the guise of having to charge your phone. Nothing sweet about running downstairs hand in hand and being pushed against the wall, his body pressed into yours and his lips following closely after. There’s definitely nothing sweet about your hand sliding down his torso and moving in between your bodies, your palm flat over his hardening member – making his situation so much worse. “Ugh, babe, no,” William presses his forehead to yours, his eyes closed and his fingers wrapped around your wrist as he concentrates on not letting your touch get to him. “Mm, I’m sorry,” you tell him, and he rolls his eyes at you. “No, you’re not,” he mutters, and you can’t help but let your grin consume your face. “It’s just… It’s something about this dress. I can’t keep my hands off you,” he tells you after a few moments of silence. His words earns a gasp from you, making a look of petty revenge appear in his eye before his lips are on yours again. His body slams into yours, his knee pressing in between your legs, while he kisses you hard and deep. His hands roams up your body, from your thighs to your boobs, his thumbs knowing exactly where to find your nipples through both your dress and your lacy bralette. You moan against his mouth and before you know it, his hand is between your thighs, underwear pushed aside and two fingers fully inside you, pressing into your g-spot. A high-pitched moan rolls of your tongue, and just as quickly as his fingers were up there, they’re back out – and he’s leaving you with a ravishing and lingering kiss before he steps back and retreats back up the stairs with his two fingers in his mouth while simultaneously sending you a look that made you want to kill him and tear all of his clothes off, all at the same time. “Oh honey, what did you do? Your dress is all wrinkly!” Your mother exclaims when she sees you only ten minutes later. You’d spent a few minutes in the bathroom desperately trying to calm yourself down, while also making sure your hair didn’t look like Willy just had his hands all up in it while making out with you. Your dress was worse for wear, though, as it was wrinkly after Will’s hands had traveled up your body both over and under your summer dress. “Uhm, I don’t know? I sat down?” you dig out your acting talent that hadn’t been used since your last attendance at the Children’s theatre in 2007. Your mother huffs and tries to straighten your dress with her hands but gives up quite quickly. The ordeal has a smirk on Willy’s lips when you go sit down next to him, stealing his bowl of ice cream and berries, while Alex rolls his eyes and pretends to gag. It is getting later and as the guest with younger kids had left the party, the rest of you were gathered around the biggest of the tables in the garden, glasses of wine and bottles of beer in just about every hand there except yours and Alex’. It was still quite crowded in the Nylander’s backyard, and all kinds of chairs, benches and stools where moved to fit as many as possible around said table, and William had gladly pulled you into his lap, where you now sat sideways – your head rested on his shoulder as one of his arms curled around your back and the other laid over your lap, his hand resting on the back of your thigh. You rarely take part of the conversation going on around the table, mostly just listening to the stories that are being told and relaxing back into Willy’s chest – a feeling of contentment and thankfulness washing over you when his lips press against your temple, causing you to tilt your head back and capture his lips in a sweet kiss. An hour or so later, Camilla hands out blankets for everyone in need of one. You already have Alex’ hoodie over your summer dress, but Will still takes one and places it over your bare legs. Soon his hand moves over your thighs. At first, the tips of his fingers barely graces your skin, but when he hears the change in your breath, they slide in between your thighs with just a little bit more force, inching their way closer to where you’d been wanting them all day. But he stops before they reach your damp underwear, and you don’t know if you’re happy about it or not. It’s enough, though, to send you even further into the desperation for your boyfriend that you’ve been feeling all day. Your mom saying your name snaps you back to reality. You sigh when Will pulls his hand away from you, helping you stand up after having spent the last two hours curled up in his lap. You’re going home, and leaving the warmth of Will’s lap and embrace is the last thing you want to do right now – for more than one reason. You hug Alex goodbye, promising to give him his hoodie back the next day. William follows you to the front yard, shoving you in front of him so that he can walk behind you with his arms slung around your neck, your cheek in perfect position for him to press kisses to it while whispering words that make you want his hands on you even more. Just before you reach the front of the house, you turn around in his arms and press your lips to his in a deep kiss, letting your hands creep up into his hair as your tongues meet. You pull back when you hear your name being called, your parents getting impatient – but lean in for one more kiss before you take his hand in yours and walk the rest of the way. You give Camilla and Michael each a hug goodbye, then you go back for peck on the lips and a final hug with William, whispering ‘I love you’  before you follow your parents home. - “I’m outside,” you read the notification from William, your heart pounding immediately, waves of heat crashing at your core just from knowing he’s outside. You make sure you can’t hear anything from upstairs, that they’re all gone to bed, before you quickly move to the door, opening it to find your boyfriend standing there, impatiently bouncing on his feet. “Fuck, I couldn’t lie still,” he says once you open the door, just before you reach out and grab his hand. “Just come inside,” you breathe, pulling him in and closing the door behind him, just before your lips are on his and your back is pushed against the same door he just came in through, his body pressed against yours. You can already tell that it’s going to be hard to stop tonight. You’re not even sure you’re going to want it to stop. Your hands are far up the back of his hoodie, feeling his muscles move underneath the tips of your fingers as his hands roam your body, stopping at your behind and pushing you against him. You moan into the open mouthed kiss as you can feel him already starting to harden against your lower stomach. You move your hands to his front, sliding your arms around his neck and kissing him harder. “My room,” you barely get out between kisses, and his hands are at the backs of your thighs immediately, hoisting you up and you’re being carried to your room. The door is kicked shut and your back hits the mattress of your bed, his body rolling over yours and your hips meeting in a desperate hope for release. Your fingers find the hem of his hoodie and you don’t waste time ridding him of it. With his lips on yours for as long as possible, he moves your t-shirt up your sides slowly, letting the tips of his fingers slide over the soft skin of your waist, before he finally lets go of your lips and pulls the garment over your head. He buries his head in your chest immediately, kisses left all over your bare breasts, until he closes his lips around one of your nipples, sucking it into his mouth. The action causes a moan to escape your lips and an arch of your body, to which he hums, sending even more lust to build between your legs. Your hand finds its way between your bodies, landing flat over the bulge in his shorts, applying pressure to it and causing another groan from his lips. You moan his name, and he finally comes back up to you, his lips pressing to yours, open mouthed with your tongues immediately connecting. One of his hands finds the drawstring of your pajama shorts, and he loosens the knot, making room for him to stick his hand into your shorts and underwear, and feel your wetness on his fingers. “Fuck, baby,” he breathes as he pulls back, not just from your lips but from you entirely, his hands working on getting your clothes off completely before his feet even touch the floor. He sinks to his knees by the bed’s side, and you’re pulled to its edge and your thighs are being placed on his shoulders, his face buried between your legs. He’d only gone down on you for the first time a few weeks ago and it had proved to be your new favorite thing, loving the way his tongue felt as it slid across your folds and dipped inside you. His hands caress your thighs while he dives in, closing in on your clit and giving it the attention he thinks it deserves – which is a lot. The little moans and curses that leave your mouth only urge him on, and his finger comes to help, sliding inside you and pressing against your G-spot, while the tip of his tongue works against your bundle of nerves. Your fingers are deep in blonde locks, your grip hard as he makes moans roll of your tongue along with every breath. You’re nearly thrown over the edge when his tongue slides in next to his finger, making his name roll of your tongue like a whimper and your fingers fist in his hair. The action has a groan leave his throat and in the matter of seconds he’s in the bed, over you again, his lips on yours in a heavy, open mouthed kiss – his tongue replaced by another finger and his thumb moving in quick circles on your clit. Your head falls deeply into the comforter under you as your lips leaves his again and your body arches into his, and with another thrust of his fingers and his lips to your jaw, you finally hit your climax. His face is pressed to your neck as he waits for you to calm down, taking in and committing every moan, whimper and pant to his memory. His hand moves soothingly up and down your thigh and his lips press little kisses on your neck every now and then – until your hand comes up to his neck and you bring your lips back to his in a long kiss. “You’re amazing,” you whisper against his lips before you press your lips back on his. With a hand to his chest you push him to his side, your fingers traveling down and into his shorts as he let’s your tongue meet his. Your hand closes around his hard member and you start stroking him and giving him little tugs. His free hand roams your side, starting the trail with a grip of your butt and moving on to your hip – fingertips skating over your waist, until his hand cover your boob, massaging it. You let go of him and give him a little shove to make him roll to his back. You start working on his shorts immediately, pulling them down his thighs along with his boxers and letting them fall to the floor with the rest of your clothes, while he throws off his hoodie and t-shirt. You stay by his side, reaching out and letting your hand stroke over his balls and erection while you leave kisses on his torso. His fingers takes little strides up your back until they’re in your hair, finding the hair tie that barely held it up into what had once been a bun and pulling it out. With his hand fisted in your hair he guides your lips to his and you kiss while your hand moves up and down his shaft. As his lips connect to your neck and his hand slides back down to your ass, you can’t help but throw your thigh over his lap and straddle him, letting go of his dick and enjoying the feeling of it pressed against your wet folds instead. You’d never sat like that while both naked before and the new sensation feels amazing – and brings certain desires to the absolute surface as you rock against him, feeling him slide between your lips. 

His mouth has fallen open and so has yours, and with his hands on your hips, he sits up and presses his forehead to yours. Your eyes fall closed after staring into each other’s eyes for a while, and both your breaths come out as pants. “I love you so much, baby,” he talks against your lips, before launching into a heavy make out, your lips slotting together in desperation. His hands on your hips help you keep your hips moving in a steady rhythm, and your arms slides around his neck. “I want you, I want this,” you talk into the kiss. “I love you, all I want is you,” you add, your words not well thought out but exactly what you mean. “Me, too, baby. So bad. Want you so bad,” he tells you, his forehead pressed against yours as he talks. He plants his feet to the floor, getting up with you in his arms, your legs locked around his waist and your arms around his neck. He pulls back your sheets and climbs back into bed with you still in his arms. His lips are moving across your neck and collarbones as soon as you’re both back in bed. He sucks one of your nipples into his mouth, your eyes meet in the process and he comes straight back to your lips once he lets go. “I have condoms in my nightstand,” you tell him, your lips moving against his as you talk. If the sound erupting from his throat next is a curse or a groan, you’re not sure, but he reaches out and finds one in your drawer. You take the condom from his hand, and he lifts himself up on his arms. “Why do you have condoms?” he whispers teasingly, as you rip the packaging open. “Mm, because of you,” you tell him, letting a smile spread on your lips. You hadn’t really talked much about sex, you just let things happen when you felt ready for it – and William never said anything, just let you move at your own pace. “Got them from the school nurse’s office on the last day of school,” you tell him, reaching out and stroking his hard member – watching as his chuckle turns into a moan. “You know, when I made you sneak over here that night, I’d been thinking about you all day,” you smirk, tapping his thigh to make him stand up straighter on his knees to make it easier for you to slide the condom onto him. Two of his fingers dip into you, scissoring them inside you to hopefully make the experience less painful for you. “I’m ready, I can’t wait any longer,” you breathe, stretching your neck up and connecting your lips to his. His body crashes down on yours, and he kisses you deeply as he lets his fingers slide out of you and wrap around himself instead. He positions himself perfectly between your legs, placing the tip of his member at your entrance. You moan at the feeling and he pushes all the way in, making you take a deep breath. His forehead presses against yours and you both breathe heavily. “Are you okay?” he asks, his voice soft but a little strained. “Yeah, babe, I’m good, just go slow,” you answer, letting your hand move from his shoulder to the back of his neck. His lips press against yours as he starts to move, finding a slow but steady pace. As soon as he finds the perfect rhythm, one of his hands find their way back to your body. He starts at your side, moving from your hip and slowly up to the side of your boob. He massages it, slow but firm, making you release a moan when he pinches your nipple between his fingers. Your lips slot together as your hands roam his back, your nails digging into his skin when he speeds up a little bit. “You feel so good,” he groans into your neck once his lips parts from yours, before he moves on to leaving kisses all the way down from your jaw to your collarbones. You only moan in response, letting one of your hands trail from his back and up into his hair, fisting your fingers in it. “It’s good for you as well, right?” he asks, lips moving against the skin of your neck – and you can hear the slight panic in his voice. Before you even process what he said, his head flies up. “It doesn’t hurt, does it?” he asks, stilling inside you. “No, no, it doesn’t. You know I would tell you,” you tell him, finally snapping back to reality. “And it feels amazing, I promise,” you speak, cupping his cheek with your hand. “I’m- I’m not used to you being so quiet,” he mumbles, his cheeks turning red as he says it. You can’t help but smile at that. “Will, you’re doing amazing – don’t worry. And I was kinda trying to not be so loud,” you tell him, feeling your own cheeks heat up as well. He’s got a smile on his lips when he starts moving again, his hand coming down to lift your leg up, hooking it over his hip. “I like it when you’re loud,” he says before he connects his lips to yours again, and just those words alone has you moaning against his lips. “There you go,” he sounds smug, his lips moving against yours as he speaks. He speeds up, and that, along with the new angle, has moans rolling off your tongue left and right. You tug at his hair, like you know he enjoys – he’d groaned loudly the first time you did it – and his moan vibrates against your lips. His lips are soon pulled from yours as he tucks his face into your neck, eyes clenched shut as he concentrates on making you reach your orgasm before he does. He lifts his body from yours slightly, his hand moving between your bodies, where his thumb expertly finds your clit. A loud moan escapes your lips when his thumb reaches your sensitive nub and his head comes up from hiding in your neck and hair, his forehead leaning against yours. He watches your reactions closely as he touches you and fills you up again and again.   “Baby,” he mumbles, his voice strained. You moan as a response and his lips press to yours in a short but deep kiss before he speaks again. “Please tell me you’re close,” he begs, kissing you again. “Mm, I am,” you breathe, and he kisses you once more before he presses his forehead against your chest and ups the movement of his thumb, letting it rub in fast circles on your clit. He can both hear and feel that you’re coming closer to the edge, your moans more frequent, your breath harsher and your insides starting to clench around his member. When your legs tighten around his hips and your fist in his hair tenses, he knows you’re about to come. He leaves your clit to give himself some extra support as he speeds up his thrusts, pressing his lips to yours as you fall apart beneath him. The soft moans resulting of your orgasm and the clenching of your insides around him has him coming just seconds after you – before collapsing on top of you. 

Your hands stay in his hair, but instead of having a fistful of hair clenched between your fingers, you start drawing your fingertips through it instead. His breathing slows down and he pushes himself further up your body, his face nuzzling into the nook of your neck. A happy and content sigh falls from your lips when you feel his mouth press to the skin of your shoulder. His weight lifts from your body as he plants his elbows in the mattress beneath you, lifting himself up slightly while leaving kisses up your neck and on your cheek. You giggle and let your hands fall to the back of his neck. “I love you,” he whispers, finally letting his lips touch yours again in a sweet and loving kiss. “I love you, too, Will,” you smile into the next kiss. “I’ll be right back, okay?” he speaks, his voice soft as he places another kiss to your cheek before he slowly pulls out his softened member, his eyebrows shooting up when you gasp. “Are you sore?” he asks, making another smile stretch your lips. “No, don’t worry. I’m just sensitive,” you calm him, and he smiles, leaning down and kissing you once more before he leaves your bed for the bathroom. He comes back just a few minutes later, without the condom but just as naked. You both blush a little when he catches you looking and you both laugh lightheartedly when he steps over the clothes on the floor and crawls back into bed, letting you place your head on his chest and tangle your legs with his. “I can’t even tell you how extremely happy you make me,” you mumble into his chest, your arm stretching across his torso and hugging him to you. “I know the feeling, babe,” he chuckles, pressing his lips to your forehead. “Did you get any comments on your picture?” he asks after a while of resting in complete and comfortable silence, only your breaths and his heartbeat under your cheek to be heard. You hum against his chest and motion for William to fetch your phone from the nightstand. You roll to your back, using Will’s arm as a pillow, so you both can see your phone screen. Your mother had taken a picture of the two of you in the chair earlier that night, when you were curled up in his lap. She’d captured the exact moment when his lips pressed to your temple and your eyes fluttered closed – everything about it was perfect – his arms around you, your hand tracing little circles on his arm that laid across your lap. You’d posted it to your Instagram when your mom sent it to you – the first you’d posted of the two of you as a couple. “Okay, that’s a lot,” you say, smiling as you look to your side, meeting Will’s eye. Your phone screen is filled with Instagram notifications and you open up your phone and the app in question. You look at the comments on the post together, smiling at the sweet comments of how you were cute together, “I knew it!” and “It had to happen!”, cringing at your mothers comments of young love and heart-warming, and lastly, laughing at Alex’s comment reading ; “I love you but YIKES”. You plug in your phone charger and leave it at your nightstand, turning in William’s arms and cuddling up with him again – your nose rubbing against his neck as you slide your arms around his neck and hugging him to you, your bare body pressed to his. His arms comes around your waist and embraces you, his hands moving in soothing circles on your back. “How early do you think I need to get up to both sneak out of here and back into my house without any of them noticing?” he asks, leaving a kiss on your shoulder. You pull back, placing your hands on each of his cheeks, cupping them. “The biggest problem is your house, really. Here, you’re fine as long as you don’t leave at the exact same time as my mom or my dad. So, I guess the question is when your parents get up,” you add to the conversation. “Ugh, I should probably be home before 7 to be safe,” he sighs. “I really want to stay here as long as possible,” he adds, kissing you on the lips. “Mm, and it’s not like I’m letting you leave,” you tell him, pressing your lips to his in a deeper kiss. With his arms still around you, he rolls you both to the side. And you lay there, just kissing, for what feels like forever. “Are you happy we did that?” he asks unprovoked after having laid in silence for a little while. “Yeah, of course I am,” you smile, reaching up and pushing his hair out of his face. “Good,” he smiles, looking down between your bodies as the familiar pink blush appears on his cheeks again. “Stop worrying about these things,” you tell him, kissing him. “I am very much in love with you and for as long as I’ve thought about sex, I’ve always thought about it with you. I’ve always imagined and hoped that it would be with you,” you tell him, sincerely, ignoring the voice in your head that wants you to think that it’s embarrassing to tell him. “Really?” he smiles, the shy smile that was previously on his lips almost becomes cocky. But just almost. “Yeah, you’re my first crush, you know,” you say, letting your lips fall into a grin that matches his. “I remember being thirteen and spending the summer in your pool and blushing every time I saw you – because you were shirtless,” you chuckle, biting your lip when Will laughs sweetly. “And then the next summer, Alex didn’t understand why I was uncomfortable in my bikini and had to get a new one every two months because my body was changing – but you did, and, I don’t know, I fell so stupidly in love with you that I had a hard time functioning every time you were near me. My heart was racing every time you talked to me,” you let your cheeks warm up this time, turn a little red, just at the thought of how you felt every time he was around back then. To think you were naked and tangled up with him in bed now, was a little surreal. “I started talking to you a lot, didn’t I?” he chuckles. You hum, and he adjusts you in his arms, letting you lay your head on his arm and press your back into his front as he spoons you. “I mean, I always thought you were cute, but that summer… That year, I guess, I just realized that you weren’t just cute and my little brother’s best friend anymore. You were funny and beautiful. And I was fifteen, so, I had a really hard time keeping my eyes off you that summer,” he chuckled. “Hm, I noticed,” you smiled, turning your head slightly, letting him place a kiss on your cheek. “Yeah, and I wasn’t completely oblivious either. I knew you had a crush on me, but then you stopped blushing every time I looked at you or spoke to you, so I figured you’d stopped crushing on me – which is why I was worried that you’d be mad at me for kissing you on new year’s eve. I wasn’t sure if you liked me at all,” he explained, making you laugh. “Oh, I liked you,” you smiled, turning in his arms again and pressing your lips to his in a deep kiss. His hand came up to your face, cupping your cheek and holding you to him while simultaneously supporting your head. Your fingers trace a line from his chest to his shoulders while you kiss him, then from his shoulders to the back of his neck, where they’re engulfed by thick, blonde hair. You tighten your grip in his hair, just a little bit, and he hums against your lips. You pull back slightly, just to get a little air, but his lips follow yours like they’re magnetic. You smile against his lips before deepening the kiss, loving the effect you had on him and how his hands moved further down your body. You let your lips fall open, and his tongue was immediately pressed against yours, his hand coming down to your ass, gripping it, while you fisted your hand in his hair – this time making William moan and push your body against his. Pulling your lips from his, you swapped out the hand in his hair, letting your free hand move down his chest and abs while you placed kisses on his neck. Pushing your hand a little bit further down and under the covers, you examined the damage you’d done, enjoying the sound of his breath turning heavy when you let your hand wrap around his erection. He places his hand on your cheek, pulling you back to meet his lips again, before pushing a hand between your bodies – both of you reacting audibly when he moved a finger to slide through your wet folds. Soon, your hand stills on his shaft, the sudden pleasure taking over your body, when Will pushes two fingers inside you, scissoring them, essentially telling you that you had the same thought. You move your hand from his shaft to his chest, supporting yourself as you throw your leg over his hips, not letting yourself get distracted by his hard member so close to where you needed him most, but reaching out to get another condom from your nightstand. Sitting back, your arousals finally meet, and you grind down, making it hard for the both of you to keep your moans and groans to yourselves. Will’s hands moves to your hips, pushing you back. Desperate to be back inside you, he makes room for you to slide the condom onto him. Once it’s on, he sits up, pushing his lips to yours in a desperate kiss while his arm slides around your waist – helping you lift your hips from his thighs and using his other hand to align his member with your entrance, letting you slide down at your own pace. A deep breath falls from your lips when he’s fully inside you, your forehead leaning against his. You press your lips to his in a hard kiss before you place your hands on his shoulders, pushing him down to lay on his back. His hands rest on each of your hips and you place yours on his chest, to support you when you finally start moving your hips. With his hands firmly gripping your hips, he helps you keep a steady rhythm. With soft touches, passionate kisses and naked bodies so smoothly sliding against each other, you’re both quickly brought to your climaxes – foreheads pressed together as you both express your love for each other between labored breaths and throaty moans. You spend the next minutes catching your breaths, your cheek pressed to William’s chest as his fingers slides through your hair. “Don’t fall asleep on me, now,” William whispers, making your lips tug up into a smile. “Mm, I won’t,” you breathe, finally finding the strength to push yourself up. He sits up as well, kissing you before he slides an arm around you waist, lifting you from his lap to let himself slide out from inside you. You sigh at the loss of contact, leaning in for another kiss and then getting out of bed. William follows you to your bathroom, and you both go though your nightly routines, which for Willy is mostly watching you in the mirror as he stands behind you, arms around your waist and chin rested on your shoulder. You crawl into bed without bothering to put on any of the clothes left on the floor earlier in the night. It’s ridiculously late and you almost want to cry at the alarm William sets for the morning, just a few hours away. “I love you, baby,” he whispers into your hair, your face buried in his chest and your legs tangled with his as you’re already drifting to sleep. “Mm, I love you, too,” you breathe, then adding a soft “baby,” – smiling lazily as you hear him chuckle. Deep sleep finds you within minutes, exhaustion from the previous day and night along with Will’s body underneath you and arms around you, soothing you to sleep. You wake to your mother’s voice, but she isn’t talking to you. “Yeah, I found him. And his boxers… on the floor,” she sighs, and you suddenly realize that your mom is talking to Camilla on the phone in the room where you’re clearly naked underneath the covers with Will. And it’s probably way past 7 o’clock.  “Camilla, you’re not responsible for keeping your 18 year old son out of my daughter’s bed. Don’t apologize,” she says as a matter of fact. You didn’t hear what Camilla said through the phone, but you had your guesses. “Oh, you’re awake,” she says to you, having seen you move your hand to cover your face. “I’ll make sure he comes home… Once I’ve had my talk with them,” she tells Camilla, making sure you both hear her clearly. She hangs up the phone and decides to sit down on the desk chair in your room, not far from your bed. “Mom, can we please get dressed before we have this talk?” you beg, feeling the blush rush to your cheeks. “No, I’m not giving you a chance to escape,” she huffs, and you and William adjust in the bed, sitting up more but making sure the covers hide your naked bodies. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Y/L/N,” William starts, but is soon interrupted. “Oh, don’t Mrs. Y/L/N me now, mister,” your mom nearly laughs. She takes a deep breath. “You don’t need to apologize for,” she pauses, bracing herself, “having sex. It’s fine. You’re both old enough, and I obviously can’t stop it from happening. It’s just,” she pauses again, taking another deep breath. “It’s not a problem if you want to stay over, William, I would just like to know first – and I’m sure your mom would like to know as well. I mean, she called me quite worried,” she says, and you’re thoroughly surprised at her handling of the situation. “Yeah, I’m sorry, I was supposed to get up early and go back home but I must’ve slept though the alarm,” William speaks again. Your mother nods, looking around the room as she thinks about her next words. She turns her attention to you. “I was literally going to have the talk with you tonight,” she sighs, and you can’t help but smile. “Obviously I should’ve done it a lot sooner, but you know, not my favorite kind of past time, and then I saw you yesterday and I realized that I had to do it sooner rather than later,” she mumbles the last part. “Did you at least use protection?” she asks, once she’s out of the chair, hand already on the door handle. “Yes, mom,” you answer, hiding your blushing face and smile behind your hands again. She turns around. “Will, go home and apologize to your mom. And if you want to stay over, just ask, and it’s fine. And you, I’m getting you a doctors appointment first thing in the morning. You’re getting birth control.” She leaves the room and you both sink into the bed, bodies turning to the other. “Well, that’s embarrassing,” William mumbles, making you laugh. You scoot closer to him, placing a kiss on his cheek. “Yeah,” you breathe, looking up at him with a smile, and he leans in for a kiss. Or two. “But this is a good thing, right? We don’t have to sneak around anymore, and you can stay over,” you smile, and a smile spreads on his lips as well “I know,” he kisses you again, deeper this time. It is hard to pull away with his naked body over yours, wanting to have his body next to yours all the time – his skin pressed against you. He’s already semi-hard and pressed against your heat, when he pulls away. “I should probably leave,” he sighs, a smile adorning his lips anyway. “I know,” you breathe, loosening your hold on him to let him climb off you and out of bed. You sit up, pulling the sheets around your bare body, as you admire his while he pulls on his clothes from last night. He comes back to you once he’s fully dressed, pushing you back down and climbing on top of you. Your giggles stop quickly once he presses his lips to yours, kissing you deeply and passionately. “I love you, so much,” he smiles, placing a kiss on your cheek as you smile back. “Mm, I love you, too – and I’ll see you later, yeah?” you kiss him again. “Yeah, if my mom doesn’t kill me,” he jokes, climbing off of you again after having left one last, lingering kiss on your lips. “Hm, she wouldn’t do that to me… she likes me too much,” you joke back, making him laugh as he exits your room, eager to get home just so that he could get back to you again.