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rachthepoet · 3 months

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Fine Line (The Song) Analysis

This song is so special to me and has grown to be such for many, too. The song that gifted the album that it occupies its namesake. Radiant with evocative nature and effectiveness to conclude. But, not an ending, per se, but rather a summarization and culmination. All its six minutes are vehement and all-consuming, encompassing a layered tapestry of adolescence, acceptance, and flux. The beauty in this song is that a singular subject can't be pinned down, but, rather, flutters between many, depending on who's bearing their soul to the listening experience at that moment. An anthem holding many senses, all that can coexist & happen all at once. A chorale to life's nature of duality.

Here's a deep dive into Harry Styles' Fine Line, from a poet.

Terms & Summations

What the hell is a "fine line" anyway? Great question, you in the pink and blue, in the front there! Yes, I admit, that was an unbearably cheesy way to start this section, but I'm itching to just get on with it. So... let's go!

A fine line is a balancing act, a tightrope, a suspension between the extremes. A small difference or distinction. The grey area between the black and white. Finding the right footing on this line is a difficult feat and something that ought to be discovered through time and maturity. With the chronicling through the song, and in the journey taken across the whole album, he's indicated that he's closer to this point than ever before. And, he feels an added sense of euphoria in knowing he'll be alright. And, similar to the preceding "Treat People With Kindness", he's extending his hand, wanting to share this acceptance with any who offer their ears.

A declaration, hope, a promise. Then, bring in the brass and the strings and the building crescendo, as the symphony of movie-credit-worthy emotions sweeps all toward a sense of closure to the art itself, of course — but simultaneously, a closure of acceptance of the duality of life for all who need to be guided toward it.

This guides us perfectly into revisiting that Fine Line is a song tailored to conclude. It's a summation of the sophomore album, a thesis statement, and the concluding slide of the journey — though, one can assume the trip continues indefinitely with some thematics. There have been tests of patience endured and acceptance of being unable to find all the answers to all the questions of life. One thing I find very essential to this song and understanding its impact is how he refuses to sugar-coat his words anymore — a lot of what's said in this song is direct, showing a maturity found through these trials and tribulations, these highs and lows we've seen flux throughout the album in its entirety.

It stands alone on the fourth side of the album, categorized as SIDE D respectfully. In following my own personal theory of the stages of grief, we stand at acceptance, a destination, or maybe the beginning of the travels. As a finale, Fine Line is very poignant, just the listener and one song left to ponder. Room has been left for this — to reflect upon the sadness and uncertainty seen earlier in the album, but also how there's happiness that exists beside and beyond it, with everything interconnected or divided by the fine line.

Lyric Pull Apart

[VERSE 1] Put a price on emotion I'm looking for something to buy You've got my devotion But man, I can hate you sometimes

Put a price on emotion / I'm looking for something to buy: Imagine this. One walks into a store with all these jars lining the shelves. Get a closer look down each aisle, and each jar is labeled with a different emotion as price tags dangle from the lids. Prices may vary. But... why would one buy something that one already makes? Why go artificial in what was once natural? The answer is in the riddle itself, and there in the first lyrics heard.

The ability to feel naturally has fallen flat, a consequence of the emotional strain of the push & pull that'll be explored in depth soon. And, one can become desperate, begging to feel any emotion, at any price, as they feel themselves falling numb. He would do anything, pay anything, just to feel again. After having rationalized detachment from emotions for so long... what was once naturally acquired (like joy, sadness, love, etc.) can now only be purchased as a tangible, artificial item. He's lost faith in himself, a bit. In addition, a debate surrounding pouring emotions into one's art — especially one's art that's put out on a larger scale — is invited inside here. How much is genuine? How much does one show? How does one stay authentic without giving away too much?

These first lyrics are critical, as they're the second-to-first impression of the song. It introduces us to the headspace the writer was in to start, and preps for the upcoming arc. Cynical with desperation is how I'd describe those first two lines, as we prepare to enter the fluctuation.

You've got my devotion / But man, I can hate you sometimes: Something done very well within this piece is the use of antithesis or contrast. It not only serves as an illustrator but also further emphasizes the fine line notion. And it won't be the last time he utilizes this, for it encompasses both the album and the song. Devotion is such a strong word to use here, but its strength is used intentionally to amplify conflict. A word defined as "love, loyalty, or enthusiasm for a person" is closely followed by an admission of hate, which sends the listener into the same confusion the speaker must've felt then. The irregularities in love and life are encompassed. In the experiences we all foster. It will never be 100% euphoria, but rather a 50/50 bet between bliss and hell.

But, you know, from time to time, the bliss can outweigh the suffering. Until one hits a breaking point — see the first couplet of lyrics. He's feeling the pressure and melancholia in the haze of confusion stemming from this conflict. Whether external, internal, or a compilation of both. His emotions battle one another, leaving him confused about what he actually feels. This person has his devotion, but at any time, it can cross to the antonym, the threshold of hate.

[VERSE 1] I don't want to fight you And I don't want to sleep in the dirt We'll get the drinks in So I get to thinking of her

I don't want to fight you / And I don't want to sleep in the dirt: Another example of antithesis here. Continuing this push and pull, a lingering sense of fear and hesitancy. He doesn't want to get mistreated, but he also doesn't have the energy to fight anymore, for the constant back and forth has grown tiring. And he's been drained.

We'll get the drinks in / So I get to thinking of her: I believe this can mirror the very first lyric of this verse, in terms of numbness. A representation of falling back on something — here specifically, alcohol — an unhealthy coping mechanism explored in other ways and places in the album, to break down his subconscious walls. He seeks something to ease the pain he knows is coming 'round the corner. The her referred to could be as basic as a past lover, sure, but also the weight of something much more generalized. Something bigger than even the speaker himself. Which I think isn't to be ruled out so prematurely.

[CHORUS] We'll be a Fine Line We'll be a Fine Line We'll be a Fine Line We'll be a Fine Line We'll be a Fine Line We'll be a Fine Line

We have arrived at the beautiful, pivotal phrase, on its first round of repetition. To walk a fine line is to maintain a balance, or to be very close to two different ideas/attitudes simultaneously. One side is often more acceptable than the other, but we must embrace all in balance. Throughout the song, I visualize the speaker balancing on a tightrope, all these concepts bouncing up to his eyesight on both sides, all in rhythmic melody to the sounds behind his words. At times, he might stumble, but he sustains his balance, standing on the fine line.

There's a fine line between love and hate. There's a fine line between happiness and sadness. And etcetera, for one could go on for days and weeks with this concept. But we'll balance on that fine line, as we navigate where we're set to land. And, in this round of repetition for the chorus, it feels as if us, the listeners, are eavesdropping on the speaker trying to convince himself of this.

[VERSE 2] Test of my patience There's things that we'll never know You sunshine, you temptress My hand's at risk, I fold

Test of my patience / There's things that we'll never know: The starting couplet of the second verse, starting with an acknowledgment of the unknown. Further, the acknowledgment of the feelings associated. A waterfall of thoughts he dwells on, and my assumption is that it falls into what could've been. This feeling of dissatisfaction, and, like many other parts of the song, can be construed depending on the glasses worn. But, with said dissatisfaction, there's also an air of acceptance, which returns back to the theme of duality and balance.

In his dissatisfaction of the unknown, he accepts the lack of patience and the growth of frustration that results from these revelations. Acceptance of pain that seeps into devotion that can further blind you. Acceptance that one can't change the what if, but only learn from it, and walk towards perseverance.

You sunshine, you temptress: He's back at it with the antithesis, folks — a bit more subtle than the others, I'd say though. Still hauntingly poetic and reflective of how deep his infatuation can go. Can't go much further without mentioning how it mirrors Woman, and the lyric "You flower, you feast" structurally. The connotation of the first you (You sunshine) is something beautiful, while the connotation of the second you (You temptress) is ominous. It parallels the juxtaposition of care and resentment established in the first verse.

Once more, the theme of duality and life's balance is furthered. In Golden, the opener to this album, the subject is referred to as golden and bright — positive and complimentary. Now, in the closer to this album, it's punctuated with the label of a temptress, slicing through the tenderness with something soul-stirring. There's another similarity to Woman, how they both touch on temptation, but, in Fine Line, he's admitting that neither party is completely innocent or guilty. Rather, they both have a little of each.

My hand's at risk, I fold: Moving on then to this analogy to poker, which I find to be an intriguing choice. The person he's speaking to at the heart of the song has (presumably) found their way past his poker face, past his fronts, and acts and strategies to hide his emotions. Now, his poker face is down, and he's left bare and exposed, more vulnerable before them. He's been brought to this point and willingly folds.

The act of folding, where a player gives up any chance of winning the pot (the money) by sacrificing their hand (of cards) to avoid a loss of what's already theirs (money they still have). In poker, it's all about keeping a straight face and hiding your emotions to prevent the other players from figuring out what cards you have. Switch this into the song's context, and see his hand not full of cards, but, rather, emotions. And, to push further with this metaphor, the speaker is giving up keeping his cards (emotions) close to his chest and decides to fold (open up) to those who are tempting him to do (you sunshine, you temptress). Gambling also can become an extended metaphor in the song, with the mention of marketing emotions in the opening line. Poker itself is a game of high stress and risk, and the act of folding can be done to survive the iterations of poker (regular stress on the fine line).

[VERSE 2] Crisp trepidation I'll try to shake this soon Spreading you open Is the only way of knowing you

Crisp trepidation / I'll try to shake this soon: I adore how he pairs words together, and this bit right here has got to be one of my favorites. Trepidation is a feeling of fear and withdrawal. Crisp preceding it implies that it's perfected, as if he's had a lot of practice (happened multiple times before). A master in hiding his emotions, not communicating his emotions, a common theme explored throughout his catalog. Then, following that with I'll try to shake this soon — that line can act as a summarization of the verse thus far. Trying to shake the feeling of fear when it comes to bearing his emotions. But, also, shaking the fear about the uncertainty that comes with the duality on the fine line he walks and is walking.

Spreading you open / Is the only way of knowing you: One step on the fine line between emotional and physical vulnerability here. And, undoubtedly, it's a part of the song that obliterates my heart. The whole thing. His voice becomes emboldened and stronger when singing this line, such a beauty. It can taken with or without sexual innuendo. And, per usual, I'd like to travel down both roads.

Let's talk without first — the person he speaks of can have their defenses up like he does, making it hard for him to know what goes on in their mind. In this context, spreading them open would be the only way to connect emotionally, breaking down their subconscious bounds, which could've inspired him to follow suit. Now, let's talk with — connecting emotionally is an act of vulnerability neither party allows themselves to do, so bring in the contrasting ease of a physical connection as everything else gets swept under the rug. In this context, spreading them open would be the only way for him to remain in contact with the other person, for conversations of emotions and deeper connections are just too much for both involved.

Through this, another contemplation of the fine line is introduced, the fine line between vulnerability and neediness, and how this is another tightrope he walks on throughout the song, as the listeners, his audience that he has chosen to share this journey with, watches in wonder.

[CHORUS 2] We'll be a Fine Line (x12) We'll be alright We'll be alright We'll be a Fine Line We'll be a Fine Line We'll be alright

Another round of repetition with a beautiful, pivotal phrase. But, there's something different here, a switch in the narrative. To refresh, the first repetition was him convincing himself — but, now, in the second round, he's convinced. He believes in it. This bout of repetition holds acceptance in its hands, the speaker's acceptance of the good and the bad, the highs and the lows, the beautiful and the ugly — the fine line that threads its way through it all. He's reassuring and reminding himself that it will work out, and he will grow from what's learned. And, musically, the poetics grow in companionship with the lyrics.

First, the guitar gets bolder as the strums grow more aggressive, a complete shift to the ear from where the song started. The rising guitar can symbolize the change, in both a relationship but also the person the speaker has become. And, the piano gets reintroduced, and I hear it as hope returning — our beautiful hope has her own melody. And, one can't overlook the strings... pure magic. With this shift in the music, the listener, too, feels the change that he must've felt. This change in outlook — these experiences are painful and feel like it could be the end of all ends, but one grows from them. Now, both he and we recognize this, and accept it. We'll be alright. All these instruments come together to build the anticipation for the switch to We'll be alright. Reassurance, for the listener and the speaker, that it'll all be okay in the end. He validates the lyrics of the song, the chronicles of pain, to whoever is listening — but, more substantially, himself.

[OUTRO] (We'll be alright) (We'll be alright) We'll be alright We'll be alright Oh

Well be alright, we'll be alright, we'll be alright. Repetition in reassurance.

Looking back to when first discussing the song as a whole, this is a song tailored to conclude. This is his way of emitting a small glimmer of hope after going through it all across the album. The honeymoon phase, the connection, the love, the heartbreak, the loneliness, and even self-defeat. All instances explored in the album as a whole, are summarized into a lesson for whoever lends their ear. The fine line! He's now sharing that hope with us, the listeners, giving reassurance he didn't always have, creating an accepting friendship letter to the duality of life and love. Now, he can look out to his audience — whether one person or thousands — and tell what he once only repeated to himself: We'll be alright.

It's a crisp summation of all the places he traveled on the album, and all things laid bare. A song of emotional maturity where he realizes that emotions, life, and relationships — they all have a duality to them, and are all in a balance, one all strive to find. A fine line is balanced, a fine line to walk is inevitable. A windsome culmination of his own self and his own journey. The self in art, the self on its own, the self with another. The travels, the chances, the fears, the passion. Hope. Reassurance. Confidence. Acceptance. Flux. And, most important to take with you as you go — promise me that you'll keep it close to your heart — is the knowledge that everything will be alright at the end of things.

dedicated to this anon <3

Thank you for reading, you’re absolutely incredible! If there are any songs you’d like me to make an analysis of, please send your request to my inbox! along with any questions or insights you might have yourself!

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protect-namine · 2 years

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okay, I think I finally pieced together the twins' timeline in teyvat so far, with all the knowledge we have up until update 3.3. gonna write this all down for my own reference because oh boy the game's lore really tries to be confusing on purpose.

first, because genshin's narrators are all unreliable, we have to establish a hierarchy of "truthiness" in our narrators. some narrators are more reliable than others, but in not so straightforward ways.

hierarchy of the sources of truth

I will first establish the traveler's memory as the most reliable record that we have. they have twice been shown to be immune to tampering from irminsul's rewrites (something not even zhongli can stop). zhongli also implies that traveler's memory is reliable, which is why he wants traveler to witness events so there's a record of teyvat even after everything else disappears. he even calls the traveler a "backup" of sorts.

the second most truth source of truth are the sword and wings of descension. these are items that came with the traveler, and the description describes their history pre-teyvat. moreover, the sword is "of unique craftsmanship. it does not appear to belong to this world." therefore, it is highly likely any irminsul rewrite will not tamper with these two items.

the third most reliable source of truth are fables and fairy tales, especially ones coming from venti (strand of time/istaroth) and nahida (archon of wisdom who is allied with the traveler). they are basically encrypted versions of history so that irminsul rewrites will not affect them. HOWEVER! by definition, they contain fiction/falsehoods alongside the truth. so it is up to us to discern what parts are false and what parts are real. we can only guarantee that they are allegories for the truth for the purpose of preserving the truth. thus, they are more reliable than documents and memories of other people, which have been rewritten by irminsul to conceal the truth.

(aside: this includes before sun and moon, pale princess and the six pgymies, probably the story of fischl's origins)

bonus: this one is pretty hazy, but it is very likely we can trust venti, dainsleif, and alice's memories as well. venti is related to istaroth and uses ballads/fairytales to encrypt history so irminsul does not tamper with it. it's his way of fighting erosion. plus, he clearly knows a lot of things he's just not telling the player. I'm sure he has a lot of secrets to uncover.

we already know that irminsul did not rewrite alice's memories (from her narration of wanderer's collected miscellany). I'm not sure about dainsleif, but he seems to know a lot of things and was our main source of new information before nahida. however, he does have a bias against archons, the abyss order, basically everyone lol. so take everything he says with a grain of salt.

important: now are there some sources of truth that we absolutely cannot rely on? yes: irminsul. there are some grains of truth in it, but we've already seen it rewrite history twice so we really cannot rely on it to have a true account of history.

derived timeline of the twins

okay, now that we know what's reliable and what's not, I'll try to infer what the possible timeline of events are with regards to the twins.

first, let's establish something: are the twins from teyvat, or are they world-hoppers? according to the wings of descension, yeah they are.

at the very least, they've been to one world besides teyvat. the sword of descension even implies that their home world was already extinguished.

this is further corroborated by traveler's own voicelines when they chat with paimon. they will sometimes say lines that imply that they speak from the perspective of a true world traveler. e.g. "In many of the worlds I've been to in the past, alchemy has always been a secretive art." (about alchemy) / "teyvat's day and night both seem particularly short. the skies here are full of stars, but they aren't the same as the ones seen from my home." (about teyvat)

lastly, this is consistent with what the abyss twin also remembers.

so okay. what do we know so far? the twins came from a world that was already about to be extinguished. their "last and only home" was a place where they drew the sword of descension to try to prevent their fated doom. alas, they failed, and so they were given the wings of descension to escape their fate.

they hopped from world to world since then, finding new homes. one such world they stumbled upon is teyvat. there's an interesting passage about this from the sword of descension:

first, "the universe casts no shadows" on teyvat. pairing this with our earlier excerpt, this to me implies that teyvat has somehow found a way to circumvent the law of the universe that "all who exist must one day perish." for the twins who have "seen the birth and death of stars," this is a novelty! teyvat is a very special world indeed. and perhaps this is the very reason why they descended in the first place — to search for a world that cannot die.

they enter teyvat during some unknown time in history. it must be before khaenri'ah's destruction, but we don't know how long the gap is.

when they arrived, the traveler was asleep. it's possible that during this time the traveler twin somehow met venti, because venti recognizes them in his voicelines ("Ah, Traveler, we meet again! What? You don't remember me?"). they shared some mutual past enough that venti references the hands of the barbatos statue as their "usual place." this is colored in teal, the color they usually use for important terms and references. also, prior to this story quest (which was released at launch) there aren't that much events that would give the player the impression that they regularly hang out there in the present time.

it is also theorized that venti's poem from the windblume festival is likely talking about the traveler, since the text changes depending on which twin you chose. something to note as well that the adjective "noble" is usually a very unique reference to the traveler e.g. "the world opens itself for those with noble hearts" is a line that shows up when the traveler resonates with a new statue of seven.

so it is likely that, while the traveler slept (either during this time or after they got separated from the abyss twin), they met venti in their dreams (or some chaotic space).

while the traveler slept, the abyss twin traveled around with dainsleif "searching for their fate" (whatever that means).

then the cataclysm happened. the destruction of khaenri'ah threatened teyvat, so the abyss twin woke up the traveler so they can leave this world.

but the sustainer of heavenly principles (henceforth shall be called asmoday, to save me some typing) prevented them from leaving.

they get separated in time: traveler is sent to the future (present day in the game) while the abyss twin is sent back to khaenri'ah's cataclysm.

(tangent: in the prologue, asmoday still calls them "outlanders". I am guessibg outlanders are not allowed to leave. maybe it has something to do with why the "universe does not cast shadows" on teyvat. if the twins leave behind a trail or mark of teyvat's existence, will they turn the universe's gaze on this world?)

our twins are now separated by time. following khaenri'ah's destruction, the abyss twin files a divorce on dain and becomes the abyss prince/ss and spends their time trying to "engulf the thrones [of heaven]" and orchestrating the "loom of fate" operation.

some time in between there was an irminsul rewrite — likely related to whatever triggered the cataclysm. how do we know this? well, because recorded history does not match the truth we already established thus far.

now, to rewrite history, irminsul has to make its narrative somewhat coherent with its chosen narrative. it already seems like celestia is trying to conceal anything about the universe outside of teyvat, but it also doesn't want outlanders who stumble their way in to leave.

so irminsul rewrites known history so that the abyss twin looks like they're from teyvat. and since they have journeyed teyvat already with dainsleif for some time, irminsul gathered enough data on them to make a false record.

this rewritten history is what nahida reads from irminsul. now there's something interesting I noticed when I rewatched the cutscene.

the information that "the abyss twin belongs to this world" is not a fact stated by irminsul. it is a conclusion that nahida draws from the fact that there are records of the abyss twin in irminsul.

conclusions are not facts necessarily. as much as I adore nahida and truly do think she is wise and intelligent and worthy of being the dendro archon... she might have gotten the wrong inference on this one.

at this point, the traveler asks if there's something wrong with their memories or if something happened to the abyss twin's memories. let's review the facts. we already established earlier that both twins remember their world-hopping days. moreover, we know from we will be reunited that the abyss twin still remembers the traveler's true name ("aether"/"lumine") instead of their civilian alias (the player-given name, which is the name used by paimon and the rest of the characters).

both twins remember their origins and true names. their memories were not tampered with; only their records.

now you might ask, what about the gnostic chorus? with the context of what we learned from nahida's irminsul search, it is likely that the battle pass story is an embellished fairytale narrated by venti so irminsul doesn't tamper with it.

now here's the confusing part. gnostic chorus implies that the abyss twin (the first heir) was deceived into being the abyss prince/ss. were their memories wiped from irminsul? that can't be, because they still remember the traveler's true name. they still remember their world-hopping days.

remember, fairytales must contain falsehoods/fiction for it to be untamperable by irminsul. this, I believe, is one of the falsehoods venti deliberately planted in the story of the gnostic chorus. based on our hierarchy of truthiness, the facts we derived from more reliable sources of truth are more likely to be true.

okay so now there was a history rewrite and the abyss twin was recorded in irminsul. what do the records say?

and there we have it. since this is a history rewrite, what nahida read from irminsul is not necessarily true. irminsul has rewritten history such that the abyss twin traveled teyvat after the cataclysm happened. this must happen because irminsul made it so that the abyss twin can only be recorded after the event; they are not allowed to exist in the records before. we don't know why this is the case, but we know that the abyss twin woke up before us and traveled with dain for some time.

perhaps something happened during their journey that is related to the cataclysm after all? hm, I wonder what dain meant when he said they partook a "painful journey searching for their fate" and why the abyss twin is now working on a "loom of fate" operation...

moreover, teyvat is "hidden" (somehow) from the universal law of destruction. perhaps they don't want outlanders to leave out of fear that they'll leave traces of teyvat's existence — for fear that they'll turn the universe's gaze upon them. after all, outlanders are not welcome here. if they let one leave, what if they bring back more outlanders, more technology to disrupt the carefully balanced status quo of teyvat? similarly, outlanders who get in are forced to assimilate.

anyway. as an aside, nahida says something interesting here as well.

the fatui do not recognize the abyss twin as a descender, which means their intel only dates back to after the irminsul rewrite. this makes sense because the tsaritsa wasn't waging her war against the divine before that event, so she wouldn't need this kind of intel then.

anyway, this means that although the fatui know a lot more than even nahida does in certain aspects (like the fake sky), they don't really know everything. with time, they may have found a way to circumvent future irminsil rewrites (maybe with dottore's segments?), but that doesn't mean they've uncovered the real history behind past rewrites.

(except maybe for pierro, who was apparently from khaenri'ah... but there's little info on him now to definitively say anything)

what can we conclude from here?

so now let's summarize what we know so far:

the twins came from a world that has long been destroyed by the law of the universe that "all who exist must one day perish." they have since been traveling from world to world searching for a home that will not fall victim to such a law.

teyvat might be such a world, potentially, for "the universe casts no shadows here."

traveler is asleep when they arrived in teyvat. in the meantime, abyss twin traveled around with dainsleif "searching for their fate." then the cataclysm happened and they tried to wake up the traveler so they can leave, but the sustainer of heavenly principles stopped them.

sustainer separated the twins by 500 years, sending the traveler to the future and the abyss twin back to the destruction of khaenri'ah. during the cataclysm, irminsul changed recorded history to say that the abyss twin traveled the world after the cataclysm. it did so likely to hide the fact that the abyss twin is an outlander. the abyss twin's memories were likely not tampered with though, since they still remember traveling between worlds and their sibling's true name. in other words, irminsul did not brainwash them into their abyss prince/ss identity (can they even actually do that to descenders?)

abyss twin works with the abyss order to topple celestia and put into motion the "loom of fate" operation. the tsaritsa starts moving as well to wage her own war against the divine.

the fatui starts their own truth-seeking, but their starting point is from the newly-rewritten history of teyvat post-cataclysm. that's why they didn't register the abyss twin as a descender.

during those 500 years of slumber, traveler meets venti in their dreams or in some chaotic space (if they haven't already met in their slumber pre-cataclysm).

500 years later, traveler wakes up and starts their journey. they meet nahida; nahida reads the rewritten records from irminsil, assumes that these are the true recorded history, and incorrectly concludes that the existence of these records means that the abyss twin is from teyvat.

venti writes the gnostic chorus (battle pass story) as a fairytale to encrypt this piece of history. it's an allegory of the twins. it being a fairytale, some parts are deliberately false/fictional lbut close enough to the truth) so irminsul won't rewrite it.

with all the history rewrites and gatekeeping, it's likely that there have been more than four descenders in teyvat's history. the abyss twin is one of them.

uhhh yeah I think that's it? this was very long but it was mostly so I can keep track of what's true vs what's not... genshin's narration is really unreliable. on purpose!! aghhh

anyway, point is, nahida's conclusion that the abyss twin is from teyvat is probably a red herring since it contradicts a lot of the established facts we already knew and concluded from sources of information much, much more reliable than a tree that regularly rewrites its own database with lies and fiction

#mine musings #liveblogging genshin #genshin impact #genshin lore

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cidthesquid · 4 months

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Today is the Day - Style Savvy : Styling Star #01

[TrendSetters] [First Post] [Next Post] We've finally reached the last game of the series:

If this is your first time reading my blog, Welcome! I'm playing through this entry for the first time, and will be talking about my experiences, while sharing some related person stories (if relevant) If you've already played them all, maybe I can give you a different perspective on your favorite entry! My format can get a little word-y, so if you're mainly just here for the screenshots, that's 100% okay too! Enjoy this blog however you'd like

Here is a brief summary of my thoughts on the other entire thus far:

Style Savvy DS: I have yet to finish this entry, so I won't speak a ton about it, Fun to pick up and play, really nice art style, really amazing for it's time.

Style Savvy: Trendsetters: Feels like a much more refined version of Style Savvy DS Has a laser like focus of on Dress-up and shop management. But sadly other elements, even the really fun fashion contests, can feel a little repetitive, due to lack of feedback/felt progression.

Style Savvy: Fashion Forward: (My Fav!) Significantly more variety than 'Trendsetters' But at the cost of focus. It feels like a borderline 'life-sim' game, with the exploration and socializing. Mens fashion and fashion contests are gone, and cosmetics are harder to unlock. But with the options to design (recolor/pattern) your own original outfits, as well as act as a hair stylist and makeup artist, You can really give customers a full makeover, and there's always more to do!

My Hopes for Styling Star: In short, I'd really like this to be a mix of the other two 3ds games. The easy to measure linear progression of trendsetters, with the variety and customization of Fashion Forward. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ -Day 01-

All three games have wildly different intros This time, we're having our uncle help us move in into our new town, he owns the local boutique, subtlety labeled as 'My Shop', and invites us to visit. (hmm, I wonder if this will be ours someday.)

ok, so it's actually called 'Timorrow', not much better, and it looks like we'll be living in the room above it. After a brief introduction, you're able to design your character:

Once again, Style Savvy proves to have one of the best character designers I've seen, with tons of options! (and unlike even some other more modern Japanese fashion game, darker skin tones!)

The art style this time around, kinda favors pastels, so skin tones will look different, But overall, I still like the new art style! Anyways,Here's my final look:

(sorry, recorded that gif at only 5fps D: other gifs should be smoother)

While live blogging this all out, I do notice that this 'Styling Star' version of my characters looks quite a bit different, maybe it was my choice of eyes, the new skin shader or something else. I think I'll stick with design, though, and see if it grows on me, There is a program you can use to backup, edit and transfer character appearances for both 'Styling Star' and 'Fashion Forward', so worst case, I could just import my previous avatar. ------- Anyways, after completing the single tutorial customer, we're told that our uncle is leaving the shop to us so he can follow is dreams. And next we're given the chance to choose one of six shop assistants:

We had these back in 'Trendsetters', But I don't remember them doing much, they did not make sales for you, or handle checkout, So maybe their role will be expanded in this game.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------- And with that, We're all ready to start the game:

It seems like they've split the tutorial in half, only teaching us the essentials before allowing us to save, tryout makeup, and explore bit. Oh, and it also looks like this game ads.. Nails Customization?

(I wish there was a way to preview your whole character with the nails, it can be a little trick to coordinate only being able to see your hands, and not the outfit or face. 'My Debut! - MODEL Debut 3 #nicola' found a way around this, having the character simply hold their Hands in front of their face, (but maybe that came out later. The 'Look Book' is also expanded, as now it includes the option to fully preview and name your outfit:

(The icon will still only show one piece.) Once I leave the apartment, I can explore a selection of the city, with a few key points of interest:

I stopped by the baker first, and got some decorative baguettes, Then, even though it was not marked, with an '!' I stopped by the shop.

You get a brief introduction to your assistant, as both of you check out the shop for the first time, They actually comment on the state of the shop, and you can ask them how they met your uncle, It's pretty cool to actually have an assistant who feels like their part of the narrative this time around, they even have dialogue. After our chat, we get our first customer, (part 2 of the tutorial) and we're treated to more fun Style Savvy dialogue:

It looks like the 'Multi-search' thing from 'fashion forward' is back, where you can specifically search for a color, image, brand and more (with new options), to help really narrow down your choices,

And a new 'Search by order' function is added too! The apartment remodeling From 'Trendsetters' returns, merged with 'Fashion Forward's decoration options.

You can now even stack smaller items on surfaces such as dressers and desks. And while both games let you remodel your shop, there were only a few fixed designs you could pick. Fashion forward added a few placeable items spots, But Styling Star, allows you to fully design your shop, just like you would your apartment!

And you'll also have a scrapbook for this, so you can save your favorite layouts! I've been really enjoying this free-form prologue, but since we can't by close yet, let's progress the plot. So next stop...Nin10 Productions!

(Nin-ten Pro? I see what you did there) So we learn a little more about the town, and we're told to track down the president of the company. So after I leave, I walked around a bit, visited the park, and talked to more characters, before deciding to return to the shop. After helping a few more customers, my assistant explains the 'try it on' mechanic, where you can recommend an outfit/item more strongly.

As with previous games, it's a gamble where if you're wrong the customer leaves the store, But it makes them more likely to give the item a shot, and if they like you get a flashy response and bonus funds:

And it looks like another new feature has been added,

"I'll just restock" is a new option that puts the customer on hold until you can get the item they requested, and when combined with the new 'Check Stock', you'll always know if you have what they're looking for, before you agree to help! It's such a simple and effective solution, it's kind of hard to believe that in previous games, you just had to turn them away, and wait for them to show up again later:

The shopping experience is streamlined too:

The layout is better, it's faster and easier to add items to your cart, and you can even have the brand rep recommend items! --------------------------------------------------------------------- Alright, I think that's a good stopping point for today! So far my opinions of this game are very positive! It seems to offer the variety I liked from 'Fashion Forward', with the structure from 'Trendsetters', and still manages to find ways to improve the positives of both! I can't wait to play more!

See you all next time!

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-Thanks for reading! I had a lot of fun making this, so I hope you had fun reading it as well. (Click here For bonus Post 1.5) (Click here for Part 2)

As always, all comments, questions, and suggestions are welcome! (I'm also looking for feedback on this new style, how's the formatting, too many Gifs?)

You literally can't bother me, (unless you go out of your way to be a jerk), so post whatever you need to say!

#syn sophia #fashion game #style savvy #style boutique #3ds #new style boutique #stylesavvy #style savvy ds #nds #nintendo #styling star #nsb3

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ilikereadingactually · 5 months

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Picturebook roundup: April 2024

why the hell do my photos always look a little blurry, even when i resize them to the size tumblr wants? why do you do this to me, tumblr? anyway, here i am with three new books i picked up on Indie Bookstore Day! one of them is a gift, two of them are going on my bookshelf, all of them are delightful in different ways.

Spider in the Well by Jess Hannigan

LOVE THIS BOOK! the art is so fun and eye-searing and charming, and the story gave me a good belly laugh. i won't spoil the details, but it's about a town full of selfish people, a spider who doesn't mind fleecing them, and an earnest and clever little boy who gets one over on everybody. the blocky art is so great, it has a real Jon Klassen feel. the tone is funny and dry, and the whole book felt like a big shit-eating grin to me. delightful!

age rec: i'm gifting this to a three-year-old, but i think his six-year-old brother will get a kick out of it too! a great read-aloud with a grownup who has a fun sense of humor.

a bit i really liked: these expressions are just so good

more under the cut!

---

The Last Zookeeper by Aaron Becker

i am a known Aaron Becker fan, and wordless picturebooks are my catnip. this one is a gorgeous example of the genre, about a robot—NOA—who's looking after the animals in a flooded zoo on a post-apocalyptic Earth. when the water keeps rising, NOA builds an enormous sailboat, loads the animals on board, and sets off in search of safety. i sat in the store reading this together with a friend, the two of us oohing and ahhing on a bench in the middle of the children's section, just having a blast, because the story is so clearly and beautifully expressed in Becker's art. every spread has a sweeping quality, a bigness to it, and at the same time there are so many tiny details to look at! it's astonishing.

age rec: this is one of those books that could be for any age. the story isn't complicated, so young kids can follow it on a basic level, but it's a timely commentary about care for the Earth and care for other living creatures that resonates with adults too.

a bit i really liked: poor lonely NOA!

---

Bug in a Vacuum by Melanie Watt

on my first read of this, i was very charmed by how funny and clever it is. all the art has a 50s/60s aesthetic, the fly's dialogue is great, and it's split into chapters that each begin with one of the five stages of grief, explained through text on an object we've seen in the background (like a tv dinner box). i read these chapter headers as funny exaggeration at first. Then as i got to the end, reread, considered it a little more, it stayed funny to me but also became a gentle and hopeful reflection on dealing with struggle and loss.

also, the side story to the fly's drama is about a dachshund whose beloved toy has been vacuumed up, and i can't resist a dachshund!

age rec: this was going to be a gift for a six-year-old, even though there isn't much text, because i think the humor skews a little older. i still think this is so, and it would be a good read for maybe a 4-7 crowd, older or younger if the subject matter is particularly relevant. i say it WAS going to be a gift because i fell in love with it, and also realized i already had a gift for this six-year-old in my pile of gift books XD so now it's on my bookshelf.

a bit i really liked: just look at this cutie

#books and reading #bookblr #booklr #book reviews #book recs #picturebooks #children's literature #picturebook roundup

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casspurrjoybell-26 · 5 months

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💖Sweet Revenge💖 - Chapter 17

*Warning Adult Content*

Aaron Keene

I wake up in a strange bed, in a strange room.

It takes me a moment to remember where I am and why.

I'm at Kate's and I'm here because my shop is a smoking pile of ashes.

'Faulty wiring. Old building. Too many appliances in a space not designed for industrial use.'

My God-damn coffee maker, apparently.

The only good news I'd had was the figure I'd received from the insurance company and for the hundredth time, I thank my Grandma for teaching me to always keep my records accurate and up-to-date.

I'd had more than the usual quantity of valuable product on hand and I could prove it.

I'd lost almost everything but at least I could start over.

I wasn't nearly ready to think about that, though... the grief was too fresh.

My shop hadn't been all that special, really... the building was small, old and ugly but it had been mine and it was my Grandma's legacy.

When she died, she'd left me everything and I'd used it all on that shop and now it's gone.

After a few more minutes of wallowing, I force myself to get up and dress.

Kate's apartment reflects her character.

It's full of bright colors and cute accents.

There's also evidence of her other passion... a massive computer, three monitors and a wall covered in video game art and design schematics.

She's almost done with a degree in computer engineering and already works freelance on Indy stuff.

She might act like a ditz but she's smarter than half this town put together.

My shop was more like a hobby for her and I don't blame her for not taking it seriously.

At the moment she's visiting her parents and insisted I stay at her place until I get things figured out.

I don't know exactly what I'm going to do about my business or about my living situation but I do know what to do about one thing.

Kate's kitchen is distressingly under-stocked.

From the contents of her fridge, I get the sense that the most complicated recipe she's followed in a long time consists of two steps... open package.... heat until done.

A trip to the store and a few hours later and I have what I need.

When everything is ready, I stare down at the small, blank card, trying to think of the right words.

Only one thing seems to fit.

I uncap my pen and in my best hand, I scrawl a simple note.

~♡~

The drive across town seems to take longer than usual.

Probably because I'm driving super slow.

The charred remains of my shop is not a sight I'm eager to see.

I park across the street and keep my eyes averted from the ruins as I make my away around the back of 'Ardent Cycles' and knock on Blake's door.

It takes him a few minutes to answer and when he does I see he's still on crutches.

His physical therapist was pissed he'd put so much strain on his leg and told him he'd set himself back on his recovery by at least six months.

He said he didn't care... that he'd do it again and more, if he had to and I believed him but it's clear that he hates the setback.

Worse, he told me his investors pulled out of funding his business.

His shop's been closed since the fire and unless he can find other partners, it probably won't re-open.

It seems we've hit rock bottom at the same time but... if he's willing... maybe we can help each other up.

He opens the door and stares.

I haven't seen him since the day after the fire, when we were both too busy with emergency doctor's visits and fire inspectors to really talk the way we needed to.

He looks a little rough around the edges.

There's a day's growth of stubble darkening his jaw and he's dressed in an old t-shirt and a pair of gray sweats.

"Hi," I say, fidgeting on his doorstep.

"Uh, hi," he answers.

His eyes slide over me with a hungry look and he swallows, Adam's apple jumping in his throat.

"Can I come in?"

"Oh... sure. Yeah, come on in."

He holds the door open and steps back.

Inside, I see boxes on the floor and the walls are bare.

"Are you... moving?" I ask.

He looks away.

"Yeah. I asked the owner to cancel my lease. I won't be able to make the rent on time."

"I'm sorry."

He shrugs.

"There are some affordable spaces in Fenton. I might move there."

Something squirms in my gut and I frown.

"You don't want to stay in Ashville?"

"Of course I do," he replies, running his hand through his hair, making it stand on end.

"But that dream ended when my investors changed their damn minds."

"What if you could start a new one? A new dream?" I ask.

He looks up and his green-and-gold eyes are bright.

"Honestly, Aaron, I don't know if I have what it takes anymore," he says quietly. I swallow and hold his gaze.

"What if you didn't have to dream alone? What if you... had someone to dream with?"

I take what I've been hiding behind my back and hold it out to him.

My heart's pounding and my hand shakes.

He looks at what I offer and his eyes widen.

He takes it and for a moment he's perfectly still.

Then, he drops it on the floor.

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merrybrides · 8 months

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8 Wedding Cake Trends

1. Heart-Shaped Cakes

We can't get enough of this adorable wedding cake trend—and you might have even already spotted it popping up on your social media feeds. Heart-shaped wedding cakes are all about whimsical details and over-the-top embellishments, which you'll love if you're into maximalist style. The Lambeth-inspired cakes, usually decorated in pastel colors like pink, purple, yellow, green or blue, are often topped off with bright red cherries that complete their vintage look. Not sure you want to try this trend for your wedding day? Heart-shaped cakes are just as cute at engagement parties, bridal showers and rehearsal dinners.

2. Garden Patch Cakes

Florals for wedding cakes? Groundbreaking. But really—in 2024, fresh flowers will adorn cakes in new ways that evoke a more abstract, organic look than ever before. Instead of meticulously placed clusters of blooms or elaborate flowers cascading down fondant tiers, the concept of this wedding cake trend is to use florals in a way that feels like they sprouted directly out of the cake. It's giving simple cottagecore garden wedding—just add a sweet gingham or checkered tablecloth. Editor's note: Your wedding cake baker and wedding florist can help you choose food-safe flowers, which is important to keep in mind when adding any type of plant or natural element to your cake.

3. Ribbons and Bows

Dainty bows are already trending for hair accessories and wedding fashion, and they'll be making their way onto wedding cakes, too. This trend is a throwback to wedding cakes of the early 2000's, and today's version falls perfectly in line with the popular coquette and balletcore aesthetics. Expect to see bows on cakes in all sizes and forms, from actual ribbons to sugar bows made of fondant, meringue or hand-piped icing. Try this pretty idea if you're into understated and timeless details, since you won't need to add many other embellishments (if any) to your cake.

4. Wavy Piping

This wedding cake trend is unlike anything we've ever seen before, and we're a little obsessed. Wavy piping, ruffled buttercream and squiggly meringue accents are all bringing unique dimension to wedding cakes. The basket weave piping technique with a wavy look around the circumference of the cake stemmed from the inspiration of 1920s women's hair styles—the short bobs with their finger waves. I love the sensual and feminine look it adds, but how it also creates depth and structure. Each ribbon belt is different to emphasize the individuality of my cakes and to the corresponding client. No two cakes are ever alike.

5. Textural and Tonal Cakes

Understated luxury, anyone? Bridging the gap between super-simple wedding cakes and highly detailed creations, monochromatic textured cakes give you the best of both worlds. An all-white color palette tones down the overall look of the cake, but upon closer inspection, the details keep it far from boring.

6. Extra-Grand Wedding Cakes

Now that big weddings are back in full swing, the desserts have to be equally as impactful. After all, what's a party without cake? The cake is now center stage again. It's a vital part of decor and getting dressed up more than ever. Extra-tall cakes (think six and seven tiers or more) will tower above dessert tables, creating a focal point at your reception venue and giving you the ultimate cake-cutting photo opportunity. And the cake itself is just the beginning—lavish embellishments and add-ons will take the whole display to the next level. Lots of flowers, not just on the cake, but surrounding the table so that it feels more like a focal art piece than a dessert.

7. Sheet Cakes

If you're going the casual route for your wedding day, consider skipping the multi-tier cake for a one-tier sheet cake instead. But if you think this is your average grocery store sheet cake, think again. What makes this wedding cake trend so noteworthy is that the sheet cakes are decorated just as much as (if not more than) vertical cakes, complete with fresh flowers, intricate piping and other decorative techniques. The main difference? Because of their horizontal design, sheet cakes won't need as much structural support—and they're a great option to maximize the amount of cake you can serve at once.

8. Unique Cake Flavors

There's always going to be a time and place for classic vanilla sponge cake and buttercream frosting, but you don't have to play it safe on your wedding day. If trusty standbys like chocolate or red velvet just aren't doing it for you, draw inspiration from experimental avant-garde menus and seasonal flavors instead.

I truly believe in keeping things seasonal and I hope that the wedding cake industry can tune in more to this. I believe we will see more focus on seasonality and the use of various grains with a different twist on traditional flavor pairings. Think certain fruit fillings infused with various spices or herbs, such as citrus and coriander, or my all-time favorite and go-to: strawberry and bay leaf jam.

#wedding cakes trends #unique wedding cakes #modern wedding cakes #2024 wedding cake trends

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ess-presso · 2 years

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hi ess <3

miss taylor: dancing with our hands tied, blank space, & treacherous <3

ty for the fic rec <3 i love texting fics sm i eat em up everytime. here's one for u, operation: toebeans by moonymoment (cute lil wolfstar fic, they fuck around with minnie and shes so tired of them)

chatting <3

id love to see a massive colonel sanders statue irl. it would definitely be significant enough for people to make pilgrimages to it & in fact i think id visit it myself.

fuck san francisco (im sure its lovely) i hate it there (it looks kinda cool tbh). sadly we've already broken best friend code cause she lives in a different city for uni 💔💔 havent seen that bitch since the beginning of january and im losing my mind. but its fine i think i get to see her this month🕺

ah yes the only two requirements to date someone: be hot and funny. (no but fr thats it. the bar is so low)

hozier <3333 (yes canadian money smells like maple syrup!!! just the notes though not the coins. i wish the coins were scented too)

now for the jesus/judas au..... i think peter simply has to be judas. but for jesus i wanna say james because judas revealed jesus' identity = peter revealing james & lily's location (although sirius as jesus would be funny too with his long jesus-like hair & the way he kinda came back to life via escaping azkaban)

american harry styles scares me fr.

fuck seagulls like actually. they always steal my food at the beach while im swimming and i cant swim back in time to stop them. theyre public enemies around these parts.

oh god. an eighteen year old dating a fourteen year old while he has another gf...... so fucking gross. (someone free both those girls rn. actual leonardo dicaprio behaviour)

i got anne carson's sappho fragments book for christmas & i was gonna go ahead and annotate it but now i feel like i should wait until i have someone to annotate it for. or maybe ill just annotate it and then i can give it to my person when they come along <3

ur def right im the opposite of final girl material but i am impulsive and stubborn so i will explore the church if its the last thing i do. (it will be the last thing i do cause im gonna end up getting myself killed)

six cans of monster can cure anything & i truly believe that. even a horrible hangover.

philosopher's stone>>>> sorcerer's stone sounds so bad anyways. im glad canada isnt quite dumb enough to get the sorcerer's stone treatment.

all of my halloween costumes are pretty lame tbh. i was a bee for my first bday (hence my nickname) but ive been a witch, vampire, zombie, ghost, etc. nothing special really

u should definitely tell harvard. theyd be too stunned to deny u entry its foolproof.

i loved blowing things up in chem. truly my only motivation to go to class.

using music apps based on our fav colours thats so real of us.

i may not have gotten wingstop but i did see florida (jumpscare)

joey in season one <3333

infinite bag of money thats a great idea how did i not think of that.

u will be banker one day. im manifesting this for u.

tumblr will forever be the superior social media idc. this website is untouchable.

oh god that guys a mummy's boy...... freud would absolutely lose his mind. a field day.

i understand u. like sometimes ur drunk self has a mind of its own and will do random shit. ive cut my hair drunk and woke up very confused but at least i managed to not botch it!!!

love in the dark is SUCH A JEGULUS SONGGG oh my god. adding to my jegulus playlist right this instant.

omg listening to music while looking at art>>>>>> perfection. makes u feel so peaceful and cool fr. (WENDYS!!! i love wendys so much.)

ur completely right id rather be having a horrible time with liv than be somewhere nice with someone i hate. doesnt matter what we're doing or whats happening it'll just be better if shes there.

i love that taylor likes 13 like yes girl me too. but 13 is actually a lucky number in italy so my family has always liked it!

oh god james and lily im so sorry......im just glad i wasnt born in 1981 or else id be highly suspicious that im the reincarnation of one of them.

american and canadian accents are super similar unless we're talking southern united states or far eastern canada. they literally sound irish over there no joke.

drarry <3 i just love the angst. so many possibilities for them.

jily & jegulus <33 ur right, jegulus for the fics (theres just SO many good ones) but jily for the ships theyre just so sweet.

after that guy i swore to never watch a movie for someone i like ever again. (also mainly because most of the time the movie is SO BAD!!!!) but yes its so cute when ur watching something with someone and they tell u all about it <333

we kinda did have a lot of paint lying around! it was mostly just lil kid art sets with crappy cheap markers and pencils but they were fun. if i was lucky i was allowed to use my parents fancy stuff.

it was genuinely so funny like i wish i couldve seen the sock fall from the audience's perspective i bet it was ridiculous.

literally ezra/aria. it was so gross but at least it wasnt real.

rude old people make me so mad like how have u lived so much of ur life and still carry so much hate in u......get a life old lady!!!!!!

hermione & harry <33

its true dramione fics are better. romione fics are usually just as bland as they are in canon. still cute tho.

tote bags!!!! love em. and omg a pride and prejudice tote thats so cool. i have one with constellations all over it i love it sm. (but also tote bags make my shoulders hurt so bad i swear im gonna get scoliosis one day)

wireless headphones till i die!!!!! how am i supposed to clean my room while watching netflix or something with wired headphones. how am i supposed to cook with wired headphones.

omg a 2! alexa play lover by taylor swift. (im a 5, apparently the investigators. i do love solving a good puzzle so ill take it)

red nail polish 4ever. looks good with anything i swear. my fav is a dark wine red and its just perfect.

wait thats so funny. it sounds straight out of an episode of friends or something. (glad everyones okay!!!!)

THATS SO CUTE!!!!! AHHHHH! top tier gift fr.

also a top tier gift. signed copies of ur fav books + unabridged podg + museums???? a flawless gift.

THE EMMA QUOTE OHHHH MY GOD!! i love that quote so fucking much. those are all so good. quotes that make u feel completely unzipped are the best always.

that poem is so good wtf. "i fear no fate (for you are my fate my sweet)" WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!!! IM UNWELL.

i wanna visit the lake district so bad ohhh my god. it looks so nice. the air looks so crisp there.

the locket that is so cute im crying!!!!!! i have a pic of liv and i from when were like 3/4 grinning at each other and ive wanted to put it in a locket forever so u have inspired me thatll be her bday gift.

tigers are so cool thats an excellent choice. king of the jungle fr.

horror movies & romcoms thats so real of u. the duality of man. & horror movie adrenaline rushes are unlike anything i swear.

not picking between jily and jegulus REAL!!! theyre both so perfect.

answering qs!

im not allergic to anything! (that i know of. so far so good.)

i totally believe in fate, at least to the "everything happens for a reason" degree. i think people need to just live their lives and let things happen cause we cant control everything and it would be impossible to even try. if its meant to be then itll be.

i accidentally fucked up a really good friendship a while ago by not being there for someone when they needed it (to be fair we were both going THRU it so i didnt realize) but we both moved on & they had moved to a different school so we drifted apart eventually. shit happens but theyre happier now so thats good.

i wake up bright and early (its 12pm.) i gracefully get out of bed (i sit on my phone for half an hour before dragging myself out of bed) i go brush my teeth and do skincare (i do brush my teeth but i definitely dont feel like doing skincare) i go make a nice nutritious meal (i make a coffee and some toast if its a good day) i do a wakeup workout (i sit in bed and drink my coffee) i get dressed for the day (im not changing out of my pjs) i do my makeup (im not doing my makeup) i head to campus for my class (my class is online. i stay in bed.)

spiderman or thor!!! ive never read any of the comics so this is purely based on their movies but peter parker i love that man. and thor is a dumb idiot i love him.

i think id switch lives with either elon musk or jeff bezos so i can give away all their money to charity or to pay for important things that they can afford like solving world hunger. i think id also love to switch lives with timothee chalamet like what goes on in that boy's head hes so funny sometimes.

(like which pre-existing fic do i wish i was the author of?) i wish i had written just lovers by zar (also intermission by zar) just because that fic is a masterpiece and to be the author of such a work of art would be an honour.

i wish i had written the iliad and the odyssey cause it would be cool as fuck to be as iconic as homer. (also since homer mightve not actually existed id love to be that much of an enigma too. keep em guessing)

ive never been in love! ive liked people but it never gets past that. i guess im just waiting for the right person to come along. but also, in a way i think i fall in love with everyone i meet. some people are just so cool and ill carry that memory of them forever.

i dance and sing a lot when im drunk. i get loud in general but i will karaoke the shit out of whatever is playing. also i get giggly cause everything becomes funny for no reason.

the worst fight liv and i have had is so dumb, she called me telling me that she was having people over at her place for her bday. i said i wasnt sure if i could make it bc i had 4 papers due that same weekend but i would try bc i obviously wanted to be there for her bday. she called me back a bit later sobbing saying she wanted me to be there and that she was mad i might miss it, i started sobbing because i felt bad and because i was overwhelmed, i told her okay, id be there no matter what, she said okay. we hung up and then she called me back 10 mins later completely fine and we both apologized for the dramatics & everything was fine and i managed to write my 4 papers in time so i could go. (uni and exams were kicking both our asses & we both had a breakdown cause neither of us had slept in like 2 days at that point lmfao)

probably either stargazing and seeing sirius & regulus & that comet, or when i last saw liv in january - we got coffee and walked around a lake for like 3 hours and talked shit abt the bitchy people from high school. it was lovely.

jegulily yes! ive never read any jegulily but i wouldnt mind reading some at some point. again, james has two hands!!! plus i think their dynamic is so fun.

i actually dont watch a whole lot of romcoms so i had to look up which movies would be considered romcoms and from that search my favs that ive seen are: enchanted, easy A, mamma mia, & 10 things i hate about you!

i also dont watch a lot of horror movies but i was fucking OBSESSED with IT in 2017 like fully obsessed. my entire personality was from that goddamn movie.

qs for u!

piercings vs tattoos?

whats your fatal flaw?

if u were any emoji which would u be?

whats ur love language?

fav superhero?

fav fic of all time

fav disney/pixar movie?

whats ur preferred method of annotating books? (like do u add random commentary or do u add deep analysis & thoughts?

what do u think ur animagus would be?

fav aesthetic?

do u prefer to stay in to watch a movie or go to the theatres?

fav day of the week and why

whats your literary archetype? (fun lil quiz, i got the ruler)

thats all for now <3

-bee

bee my darling <333

(first apologies for replying late.I seem to have a knack with doing those kind of things. but now I'm on half-term break , exams are over, so I'm mostly a free bird !!!)

miss Taylor -

dancing with our hands tied - JEGULUS - 'I loved u in secret'. that's all. secret love is theirs , they own it . also also , this is so regulus's line - 'I loved you in spite of Deep fears that the world would divide us'. HIM HIM HIMMMM.

blank space - all the women - I simply couldn't choose between them and since this song is very very female rage to me , I'll say all of them. especially Marlene , because if she's one to sleep around , you just know she was shamed for it.

treacherous - WOLFSTAR - I just really feel the vibe of sirius being like 'I'll follow you home' and remus thinking that the love he feels for sirius is treacherous !!!

chatting ----->

nah imagine being under that statue and you see boxes of free kfc just hanging around . colonel the redeemer would be gods child fr.

everything in the us looks either cool or dangerous. SHE BROKE THE BFF CODE. yta divorce immediately. lu lives like five minutes away from me and it's to and fro from there like everyday. I see him all the time and I haven't even thought about the possibility that one day I might not see him everyday. like that's not happening. peace to u bee , u brave for not tearing the fuck up.

nah fr where are my hot and funny little bitches/bastards. like bro come here and kiss me on the mouth and take me out and we can get married in like an hour.

hosier is bae baeeee. (that's so fucking cool. and I think the coins should so smell like maple syrup. it's fucking unjust that they don't. sue Trudeau.)

Peter = judas and James = Jesus (and I so see ur point with the sirius looking like Jesus parallel. like James (if he was alive) would've so made some jokes about that.

TALKING ABOUT HARRY STYLES - please tell me you saw him at the brit awards yesterday. please. I was in fucking tears when I saw. like broooo he mentioned Zayn??? my boy Zayn ???? my directioner heart is healing for real. (and lewis Capaldi is probably the only person in the world who can among to get the band back together. he has the power.)

I get chased by them whenever I'm at the beach and they've stolen chips from my fish and chips before and it's so fucking annoying like genuinely I wish they'd go fuck themselves.

no genuinely someone should arrest that guy. fucking hate him. piss bag.

ahhhhh annotate it and then buy a new copy for your person and annotate with shit like 'made me think of u' and everything I would cry my fucking eyes out if someone gave me that.

nah bee a nun gonna fly in and drop kick u in the face (now laughing at this image)

it did not cure my hangover ! it made it worse !!! and the worst part was that lu was also hungover so he couldn't work his magic with his hangover potion. and he also emptied his insides out (he threw up) and I was his sick nurse and made him soup and everything. (he was so out of it it was funny as fuck)

canada is smarter than the use for sure (free healthcare and gun control for one.)

bee as a bee oh my god that's so cute (and those costumes aren't lame they're classics)

fr Harvard is so calling.

blowing things up is so so fun. I used ethanol in class recently (there was a big boom) and it was very funnn.

yes pink and green stay winning always >>>

ew not florida ewwwwww.

joey is just bae. I love him so so much. (his funeral fit stays banging.)

I'm just smarter than u bee , let's face it.

update on the banking thing - he said no. he just doesn't like powerful women.

tumblr is so bae , like vanilla extract is so funny to me now

freud would love to dissect that boy fr.

cutting your hair drunk ??? and not botching it ??? you are the chosen one. I bow down to your brilliance.

THE MOST JEGULUS SONG TO EVER JEGULUS. yes yes u must add it. can't believe it wasn't already there in the first place.

it is so perfect. such a vibe honestly. (Wendy's slaps hard. but it wasn't square so I feel betrayed.)

bad times with your best friend so that ten years in the future you can look back and laugh on how stupid and dumb you were.

ahhh no my family has always considered 13 bad luck. but I don't believe it so 13 stays winning <333

can't tell the difference fr (Irish ??? never knew that that's fucking weird (in a good way))

DRARRRRRRYYYYYY the angst is unmatched. unmatched I tell you.

jegulus fics are so so so good I eat them up like soup. and jily is just - perfect. I love them. I love it so so much.

no because those kind of movies are so weird. it annoys me so much. (but watching stuff with someone who's obsessed with the thing you're watching ??? like whatttt. it's so sweet. eg Lu's fucking obsessed with sports and shit and he knows I'm just not - so he always always explains shit to me like when to cheer which team we support and everything.)

I would feel so proud if it was me and I was allowed to use the fancy paints. like so so important and everything I would love it so so much.

I can imagine it now. sock falling in slow motion.

yes thank fuck for that.

get a life of their own frrrr. high time considering their lives are just about to end.

herm and harry are my darlings honestlyyy

yes yes romione is so cute and awesome but I don't personally like fics about them fr.

OH MY GOD A CONSTELLATION TOTE ???? honestly you're so fucking awesome it's fucking coooolllll.

WIRELESS HEADPHONES 5ever fr fr. could never deal with the wires when I'm doing stuff.

LOVVVVERRRRR. ( a 5 ??? that's awesome !!!)

mine's that kind of red or a classic bright red. love them classics and everything I love it <33

it really really really was. (we're all good but we have matching scars now ! hey - tattoos right there ???)

no I loved it so so much I love it so fucking much it's cool as fuck. prize present <33

I'm literally the best friend ever he should bow down to me and my excellence. (no but I just got him all his favourite things and bro got super emotional and everything. )

YES I FEEL SO UNZIPPED WHEN I READ THAT SHIT I FUCKING LOVE IT SOOTHES ME. those kind of confession quotes will always be so dear to me.

YES YES U GET IT. favourite poem ever <33

the air is super crisp and everything feels mega real up there. like I am hyper-aware of the fact that I exist.

yes yes a locket like that is so so cute. she will keep it close to her heart trust <333

YES TIGERS. GO TIGERS.

horror movies & romcoms have my whole heart. rom-coms come first , but horror movies are a close second. (and horror-coms are lovely too !!!)

jily and jegulus are amazing. top-tier always.

reviewing your q's -

god bless u and ur immune system. the chosen 1 fr.

fate fate fate. I believe in destiny and fate and I love it because I really truly believe that I could bump into someone and fall in love. like it could so so happen. It will happen. manifesting the fuck out of it.

friendship break ups make me so so sad. like damn you don't want me anymore???? sad as fuck. (glad you both are doing good now !!!!)

WHAT A FUCING MOOD. same though. I think it's something in the air when I'm getting ready for school. like I get ten times more slugger in the morning I'm getting up for school like I really curse the fuck out of everyone and their mothers.i do it so often.

Peter Parker always <33333. I love them so so so much.(tom and toby and ANDREWWWWW)

(yes yes that's what I meant !!!) I so so need to fucking read it I swear I'll do it. I'm going to do it as soon as I have time honest.

homer is iconic you're so right. keep them guessing always and forever for reals.

I fall in love every time I look in the mirror. no but if we're being honest - me neither. I feel like it's coming though. I love love and I want to be in love too. (meeting the best people and carrying the memory of them forever >>>)

NO HONESTLY. man wearing hat ???? funny as fuckkkk.

not being able to go places because you have exams is so so so fucking annoying. like exams can go to hell (she cried for u ??? that's so sad and honest and sweet honestly best friend GOALS.)

talking shit about bitchy people with your best friend >>>> especially because it's always the darnedest things too and the best friends we have would never expect it and it's always so funny to shock them.

I honestly don't really mind jegulily. I think it's fun , and I might read a couple fics here and there but they'll never be my OTP. I love them , but jegulus and jily stay winning alwayssss.

'I hate the way I don't hate u. not even a little bit , not even at all.' my heartttt. and also Cameron is amazing and needs to be appreciated more.

q's -

now I love piercings (want at least 3 in each ear) but tattoos because to me they can hold much more meaning than a piercing. like it would be amazing and they just .... do stuff piercings can't. piercings still slap though.

loyalty to the people I love. like I've said this before , but I'd absolutely go feral if anything untoward happened to the people I love. i would genuinely fuck the aggressor up. like I genuinely feel like I saw a ten foot tall hunky muscle guy slap lu once , and I was there , I'd get so mad I'm pretty sure my sheer anger would scare him the fuck away. but I'd do it even if they were wrong. like if he says the sky is purple in front of people he doesn't like , then the sky is mf purple until we get home then I ask him what the fuck is going on.

the raising a single eyebrow one. I'm always making that facial expression. (I used to hang out with some pretty sus people and the things they used to say ..... shiver.) and of course the love heart ( where is my pink love heart , apple ?????? where is it ????) simply because I am a hopeless romantic.

acts of service !!! I will always do something like that for someone I love. like you need the groceries ??? not a single word more I'm going rn. also also love love giving gifts. like I really think them out .

SPIDERMANNNN. I love all 3 of them so so much I love the fuck out of them they're my favourites always always.

oh my god I couldn't possibly. but I could. (for each ship I have 1 or 2)

drarry - mental , temptation on the warfront.

jegulus - absentmindedly making me want you

dramione - wait & hope , isolation

wolfstar - of memories and milk thievery , lessen my load

nottpott (harry x theo nott) - rendevouz receipts , lethal combination

btw lethal combination is by the same author as the one who wrote the atlas six !!!! I love it so so much !!1 (nottpott is a guilty pleasure ship)

7. my favourite Disney movie is tangled always always <33333 unmatched. Pixar - UP (I fucking love it. it made me cry so so hard, I love it so so much)

8.i do both. like I have clear post-its , and sometimes I jot my notes down there , other times I have annotated the fuck out of them on the pages. in my copy of Gatsby , I have the word 'gay' written next to a lot of the times nick talks about Gatsby (maybe I'm biased but he was so in love with Gatsby.)

9.i'd love to be a black cat. mostly because I hate how they're said to be bad luck. like they're so sweet and cute and I just love them always. they're amazing. (plus being lazy and thinking they're better than everyone ??? so me honestly.)

10. dark academia !!! I so so so wanna live like that like it's the dream I love it so much. everything about it. the outfits , the scene , the vibes , the feel , the feeling that if I fall in love with someone , it'd kill me to be without them. I just LOVE it.

11. cinemas !!!! I love cinemas so much the vibes , the popcorn , the snacks I've snuck in , the way people clap when famous actors come onto screen >>>>

12. friday !!! end of the week , game night , no alarm to wake upto the next day . Friday has it all always. very dear and near to me <333

13.the lover !!!! no one was surprised by this honestly. it's very literally me. I am very much an idealist always looking for love wherever I can find it !!!

q's for uuuu -

which 1d member is your fave ?

top 5 Taylor songs ?

top Shakespeare quote ?

fave Shakespeare play ?

fave modern family character ?

style vs ootw?

cruel summer vs dress ?

fave tay tay lyric ?

controversial opinion you have ?

famous person you hate (not an obvious one like Kanye or John Mayer we all hate them they don't count) ?

sickest burn you've ever given ?

sickest burn you've ever got ?

moment when you wanted to slap liv's face the fuck off ?

moment you've been horrendously jealous ?

(beee beee beee I love u tonnes. sorry I've been so bad with replying. I'm so going back to normal after this I pinky promise. come back soon <3333333 I missed u!!!)

#ess waters a plant #bee <33 #ess's marauders x ts crossover

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cosmicgiddiness · 2 years

Text

O'Neill² | Chapters 1 & 2

Art by @altschmerzes

Fandom | Stargate: SG-1

Warnings | Mentions of past child abuse, Waffle Consumption

Rating | K+

Genres | Gen, Family, H/C, Angst, Fluff

Characters | Jack O'Neill, Clone Jack O'Neill, Cassandra Fraiser, Janet Fraiser, SG-1

Chapters | 2/7

Summary: Six months after the events of "Fragile Balance," Jack's clone loses both his memory and his home. The colonel surprises everyone by offering to take him in. Just until they figure things out, of course.

Read on AO3 | Read on FF.net

Excerpt:

From Chapter One:

"News, General?" Daniel queries almost before Hammond is all the way out of his office the next morning.

Hammond's eyes scan the occupants of the table—comprised of SG-1 and honorary member Janet Fraiser—as he takes his seat at the head of the briefing room table. He turns to Janet, studies her for a moment. The unflappable doctor appears to be slightly...flapped. But she meets his eyes gamely and straightens ever so slightly, waiting for his go-ahead. He nods and every eye turns on Janet.

"Well, everything is looking good. He slept all day yesterday, except for about an hour after his initial awakening, and then slept most of the night. He woke again shortly after I came in this morning, and he's been awake ever since. He continues to be lucid, though I suspect he will be experiencing a good bit of nausea and frequent headaches for the next week or two." She pauses, visibly gathers her thoughts, baiting their breaths. "He still doesn't remember anything. He does, however, remember the events of yesterday—the ones he was aware enough to form, anyway." She smiles slightly, meeting their eyes one by one. "This is a very good sign. With all that we've seen, I fully expect him to be able to make and retain both long and short-term memories going forward."

"And his past memories, Doctor?" Hammond queries.

She lets out a soft sigh. "Unfortunately, that I do not know. I suspect we won't know, until and unless something changes. It's a waiting game, sir."

A long beat of silence passes before Dr. Jackson—as is frequently the case—voices the question they've all been thinking.

"So...what now?" His lips are pursed in that way that always reminds him of the face his youngest granddaughter makes when she's feeling precocious. "I mean, what do we tell him? Ordinarily I would be all in favor of the truth, but…"

"But in this case, he's already feeling vulnerable and probably very frightened and the truth is frankly ridiculous and very likely to send him over the edge," Janet finishes. "That's my concern as well."

"I mean, would he even believe us?" Major Carter asks.

"He would not," O'Neill supplies matter-of-factly and all eyes turn on him. He shrugs and returns to whatever doodle is taking place on his legal pad today.

"We have the Stargate just below us," Teal'c interjects, "freely at our disposal. If he requires proof, why should we not simply take him through it?"

"He's just awoken in a military base after a serious trauma—both physical and emotional—and he remembers nothing from before, nothing about where he is, who we are…" Janet's eyes cut to O'Neill's downturned face for the scarcest moment. "He's putting up a brave face—"

"No surprise there," Dr. Jackson mutters under his breath, causing Major Carter to place her hand strategically in front of her mouth.

"—but he's under tremendous stress and too much too soon is almost certainly a bad idea. He's got enough to process without learning there are aliens on our doorstep and he is the accidental creation of one of them."

Teal'c dips his head in understanding, though Hammond can see he feels they are giving O'Neill—both of them—too little credit. "I trust your judgment in such matters, Doctor Fraiser."

"So, we're back to our original question," Hammond redirects. "What happens to him now?"

"I don't think he should stay here, sir," the doctor states firmly. "The minute he's well enough to be out of my infirmary, that's exactly where I want him."

"You wound me, Doc," O'Neill blithes without looking up.

"Believe it or not, sir, in this case it's for his own good rather than to spare my nurses." She smirks slightly. "Your younger self is very polite and cooperative."

Major Carter presses a knuckle to her lip in yet another shoddy attempt to cover a smile and if Hammond didn't know better, he'd think perhaps the colonel's ears just tinged a shade or two pinker than usual.

Fraiser turns back to Hammond. "I just don't think this is a good environment for him right now, General. So much…"

"Concrete," Teal'c offers, efficient to the end.

"Exactly. He needs to be somewhere that feels laid back, something that will grow familiar and comfortable. I realize he's not just any teenager, but I can tell you he has all the hormones of one, and like any teenager—any person, really—he needs a home, sir."

"I agree with you, Doctor. However, Major Walters and her husband were almost uniquely qualified to handle his situation," Hammond says. "I'm not sure how we're going to find someone that's able and willing to take in—"

"He can stay with me, sir."

Five heads swivel to stare at Jack O'Neill.

"Pardon me, Colonel, would you repeat that?" Hammond can't quite keep the incredulity out of his voice.

"I said," O'Neill sets down his pad and meets Hammond's gaze, ignoring all the others, "he can stay with me." A shrug, slouching further back into the upholstery. "I mean, just until we figure out a good solution."

Hammond finds himself half-wishing he had a pin to drop.

#stargate #sg1 #jack o'neill #eliza writes stargate #stargate fanfiction #stargate sg1 #fragile balance #o'neill² #fanart

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lfthinker · 2 years

Note

5!!!

That Emotional Moment You Can't Find a Plot for

...This is cheating a bit and fills multiple stuff, but it's also something I've been meaning to get out for a while.

Trigger warning for slight domestic violence. Very slight, but I want to be safe.

This wasn't how it was supposed to be.

Tonight was the night Eddie was supposed to commit to her, the night they became official, the night she could plan to introduce him to her mother and Amy, the night she could finally begin to dream of a future, of marriage, children, growing old together, the whole happily ever after. And instead, Eddie had told her that he was...he was...

He looked at her, his head cocked. "Diane?" he asked.

Diane returned to herself. She must not have heard him right. She let out a small laugh. "Come on, Eddie," she said. "Stop kiddin' around."

Eddie raised an eyebrow. "I'm not," he said. "I'm putting a gang together. We've already hit the fine art museum and second national banks. We're going to own Gotham. I want you to be part of it."

The past six months ran like a film in Diane's mind, from the night they'd met at the club, their first date at the art museum, the one he said he'd robbed, those hot summer nights together, those long talks about art, about how he'd been the most interesting, intelligent man she'd ever met, and it was a lie, it was all a lie. She slowly shook her head. "I-Eddie, I can't-"

Eddie took a step closer to her. "Alright, you don't have to be involved in the gang if you don't want to be. We can still see each other, I can put you up in a penthouse-"

Diane stepped back. "No!" she shouted. "Eddie, I can't be a part of this! Any of this!"

Eddie held his hands up. "Diane, please. If it's GCPD you're worried about, I can keep your name out it, no problem." He scoffed. "They haven't caught me yet, and I doubt they will. None of them are a match for my brilliant mind-"

"My God, Eddie, do you hear yourself!?" Diane brought her hands to her face, her breath coming in shaky. The room almost felt like it was spinning, like she didn't know up from down, who was this man that she'd let in her bed, who was this man she'd let in her heart. It was a lie, he was a lie. She looked at him, at that face that almost looked concerned. "Was any of this real? Were we real?"

Eddie cocked his head again. "Well, what kind of ridiculous question is that? Of course, it was real! Do you think I'd entertain letting just anyone in my life?" He stepped closer to her, and she instinctively stepped back, until her back hit the wall of his apartment. "I like you, Diane," he said softly. "I want you to be part of my life."

An hour ago, this was all Diane wanted to hear. Now, she wished she had never talked to him at that club. "You're a criminal, Eddie," she said, voice broken. "How can I be part of your life?"

Eddie's eyes went wide as if he'd never expected this. "What are you saying?"

She didn't want to do this, she wanted to stay with him, but this was insane. He was insane. She didn't sign up for this, she couldn't be part of this, no matter how much she wanted him. "I'm sorry," she said. "I can't be part of this, Eddie. We're done."

Eddie's jaw went slack. Then he shook his head. "No," he murmured. "This wasn't how it was supposed to-you said you liked me." His voice rose and his face flushed. "You said you liked me! You can't take that back! You can't!"

Diane's heart pounded in her chest and her veins turned to ice. She tried to get past him, to get to his front door, but he grabbed her wrist and jerked her back. "Eddie!" she cried out. "Stop!"

"You liar!" Edie shouted at her, rage in his eyes, rage she'd never seen in him, in any man. He pulled her close to him and gripped her even harder. "You can't just walk away from me!"

Diane cried out in pain and fear. "Eddie please!" She pleaded. "You're hurting me!" All at once, Diane felt his grip loosen, then let her go. Eddie backed away from her like a frightened animal, hitting the back of his tacky green couch, his face pale, the rage in his eyes replaced by shame.

"Oh God," he whispered. "My God, what did I do?" He shook his head again and for a moment, Diane saw the Eddie she'd fallen in love with. "Diane, I'm..." then he seemed to remember himself. He turned his back on her. "You know the way out. Don't contact me again."

He was letting her go. Diane almost went to him, but she knew if she didn't leave now, she may not get another chance. She grabbed her purse from where she'd set it on the dining room table, grabbed her coat from the coat rack, and ran. She ran out the door, down the hall, out of the apartment, down the street, down the stairs to the subway tunnel, and she couldn't see through the tears in her eyes, could barely breathe. By the time she'd reached home, she couldn't even tell Cynthia what had happened, all she could do was weep.

A month passed, and Eddie didn't contact her. Cynthia had freaked, suggested they go to the cops, but Diane couldn't bring herself to do it. She just wanted to forget all about Eddie Nashton. Fate had other plans.

Nausea she'd had the day she'd left Eddie, nausea she thought was nerves, only worsened. Then her period was late. A month and a day after she'd run away from Eddie, she lay in bed crying again, her hand around a positive pregnancy test.

The next day, she walked the familiar road back to Eddie's apartment. This was insane. He'd said not to contact him, he'd let her go, why did she want to get anywhere near him again? But this was his baby too. He cared about her, he cared about her enough to let her go and leave her alone. Maybe if he knew about the baby, maybe, maybe...

She saw the familiar green couch on the sidewalk in front of the apartment building and her heart sank. She walked up to the couch just as a short, squat man with a bushy mustache approached her. "I can let you have that real cheap miss!"

"I know the owner," she said softly. She brushed her bangs out of her face. "Eddie Nashton. Is he here?"

The man sneered. "Nashton? That bum got arrested two weeks ago! He brought the freakin' Batman to my building and I'm out two grand fixin' the windows that freak broke!"

Diane shut her eyes, willing herself not to cry. "I see," she said. "Thanks." She turned around and walked back to the subway, her mind made up. No father was better than a father in jail.

Her baby came into the world red-faced and screaming on a hot July night. "What an angry little girl," the nurse said, cleaning the baby and placing her into Diane's waiting arms. "What's her name?"

"Ellen," Diane said. "Ellen Diane Dixon." She gazed upon her child, committing every little detail into her memory. Her little button nose, the fine red hair on her head, her little hands, and her little feet. Her mother is at her bedside, her smile strained. She would have preferred that Diane adopted Ellen out, and Diane had almost agreed, but then she'd seen her little girl on a sonogram, and she wanted her more than anything she'd ever wanted. Diane kissed her baby. "My Ellen. My sweet little girl. Mommy's here."

Ellen's cries softened and Diane brought her up to her chest, skin-to-skin. She blinked back tears. More than once during her pregnancy, she'd been tempted to reach out to Eddie, but she stopped herself. He'd spent the last year in and out of jail, or so she'd heard. She couldn't, she wouldn't expose Ellen to whatever he was involved in. She remembered the man she'd met at the club, the man she fell in love with. He hadn't been all bad. Maybe someday he'd get out of that life, and although they could never be together again, maybe she could let him be a father to their little girl. Until that day came though, she'd have to be enough. "Mommy's here," she whispered. "Mommy's here."

#pi verse #ao3 story challenge #enigma's mother

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rikumorimachisgirl · 3 years

Text

Title: Eyes on you

Pairing: Shaw x You

Genre: Fluff

Word count: 2,901

A/N: You (Y/N) are not the MC in MLQC. This is a plunny that's been bugging me for quite a while, I had to write it. I hope you like it.

Disclaimer: I do not own MLQC or its characters, but I do own the concept of this fic.

There were a few mysteries in this world that the esteemed Archeology Graduate Professors at Loveland University can't explain - for instance, the formation of the Stonehenge, the exact location of the lost city of Atlantis, the origin of the Nazca lines… and your presence at the Metro Art Gala dressed to the nines, positively gleaming as you strode arm in arm with your classmate and Thesis partner Shaw, who seemed like the perfect gentleman that evening. Thanks to your work at the Loveland Museum, you scored two invites to the gala featuring the recently discovered works of a well-known artist - an event any Archeology fanatic wouldn't let pass. The two of you walked along with LFG's Exhibition Hall, pausing occasionally to admire one of the recently discovered sculptures by the Renaissance artist D'Romani. As you both looked at the intricacies of the artwork in front of you, your charming companion would lean in slightly and whisper something in your ear, causing you to roll your eyes or stifle a giggle.

To the guests in the prestigious gala, the two of you looked like two young people at the cusp of falling in love, but the members of the Faculty of the Graduate School of Archeology saw it differently - this was a real-life mystery if they'd seen one.

As your eyes swiftly swept through the entire room, you could see that your professors only had one question in mind - how'd this happen? How did two people as different as day and night, who argued with each other throughout Graduate studies, end up amiably enjoying each other's company tonight?

You drew a sharp breath and sighed. The answer was simple: Your Thesis defense was right around the corner. You needed him to cooperate, you were willing to go to great lengths to make it happen. And your Thesis partner (unfortunately) was ready to take full advantage of the situation.

***

"Tell me why we're doing this again, " you said through the door that separated you and your date, as you were putting on the dress you bought (or invested on, as he casually stated) for tonight's gala, which he insisted on attending with you. It was six in the evening on a Friday, and you had just arrived home after cramming your workload at the Loveland Museum and foregoing your meal breaks just so you could leave work at exactly five-thirty.

"I already told you a couple of times - you want me to cooperate with you so you can pass our Thesis, and I need a reason to be around her," the purple-haired man waiting at the other side of your bedroom door called out nonchalantly. "You can drop your fantasy about me asking you out because I'm attracted to you."

You hissed silently at his snarky remark and counted to ten. You haven't even left your apartment yet you already wanted this night to be over. "How do you even know she's gonna be there?"

She - the Miracle Finder Producer, the object of your Thesis Partner's fantasies, and as fate would have it, his brother's girlfriend.

"They're doing a show featuring our Thesis adviser. Didn't he tell us about it during our last consultation?" He asked, his tone dripping with sarcasm.

"I wasn't listening," you shot back, as you took off your ponytail and started styling your hair with your curling iron. You chose a one-shoulder fitted black dress that stops right above your knees, so you thought of wearing your hair down for a change.

"Ah, yes. You were too busy looking at your notes, trying to prove me wrong as always."

You closed your eyes, as you continued to make big beach waves and prayed to the gods you wouldn't commit murder tonight.

"How much longer are you gonna take?"

"Excited much?" You asked, smirking while you now removed your glasses and put on your contacts. "You sound like a teenager excited to see his crush in a school fair!"

"Don't compare me to you!"

"I don't have designs on anyone in the party," you called back. "Unless your brother's attending the event, that is. From what you've been telling me, he seems like a great guy."

Silence. You arched an eyebrow as you strained your ear to listen for any sign of life outside your bedroom door. What must your grunge-rock skater boy-turned-date-for-the-evening be thinking?

"Do you want to pass our Thesis or not?"

You struck a victory pose at his remark. Finally, one point - you, Shaw - about twenty.

"Are you done yet? This suit is really uncomfortable. Damn, why do people even wear these?"

"Because they're decent?" You shot back. "You know, you can always go home if you're not comfortable in your attire because when we get there, you need to act decent, too. Can't have your usual swagger in a formal affair."

"Just hurry it up already!"

You rolled your eyes as you applied your nude-colored lipstick to finish off your look before putting on your black stilettos, and stuffing your phone, wallet, and your makeup in your purse.

"All done," you replied, as you finally emerged from your room.

***

A part of you wished that the dynamics between you and Shaw were different. While he was a pain in the neck, and too carefree for his own good, you also thought he made for a good intellectual sparring partner, quite attractive, and it was hard to deny that he's got your heart beating double-time whenever he got too close for comfort like he was at that very moment.

"My, you two kids seem to be having fun tonight."

You gasped, at the sound of the voice behind you, and you felt your date nudge you ever-so-subtly while straightening.

"Hey, Professor Adler," he said in his usual unruffled tone, his lips stretched into a smirk as he held his hand out to your Anthropology professor and Thesis adviser, who watched you both amusedly. His gesture made your eyes shot wide open, you thought they'd fall right off. Shaw shaking someone's hand? That's one for the books.

"Shaw. Fancy seeing you here," the stout middle-aged man greeted while shaking your date's hand. "This isn't your usual scene though."

"Yeah, I know, but I can't exactly turn a pretty lady down, can I?"

"I can see that," your professor said as he looked at you appraisingly. "Well, well, you clean up well, Miss (y/n)."

You fought the urge to squirm at the older man's words when you heard your date cluck his cheeks with his tongue and suddenly felt his arm around your shoulders, pressing you protectively close to his side.

***

"All done!" You happily announced as you stepped into the living room of your small apartment where your date was impatiently waiting for you.

You could've sworn he was stunned for a second or two before he shook his head and tried to regain his usual impassive expression. Finally, he stood and walked closer to assess you better.

"You're not wearing your glasses. I thought you said you're practically blind without them?"

You cocked your head to one side. Out of all the things he could've complimented or called out, that's the first thing he noticed?

"Wouldn't it look awkward if I wore glasses to a formal event?"

"Your hair is all curly," he continued as if you didn't say anything. "And your shoes are so tall, won't you trip? Also, surely you have a jacket to go with that dress, right?"

You stared at him in disbelief. Why did this carefree, bass-playing skater boy turn into your dad all of a sudden?

"Uh…"

"Well, at least you're not wearing red lipstick. You don't have to try too hard to look sexy. Geez! I've got plans of my own this evening, so don't expect me to be your bodyguard," he continued to mumble as he circled around you. Before long, you felt something warm and heavy on your shoulder. His coat?

"It's just until we get to the venue," he shrugged as he led you to the car he borrowed for tonight. "I don't want people seeing you freeze to death."

You sighed, your shoulders slumped as you followed your date to the car. You already expected he wouldn't throw you a compliment for looking like a proper human tonight, and you cursed yourself for feeling gutted over it anyway.

***

"So, which one of these sculptures did you like best, Professor?" You sighed in relief as Shaw changed the subject, his arm still wrapped around you, making you blush furiously.

"Oh, I have to say I liked Eros and Psyche best. In case you haven't seen it yet, it's located a little further down the hall near the bar area," the older man was starting to explain when someone tapped his shoulder from behind.

"Excuse me, Professor Adler," a gentle voice called out, making both the professor and Shaw jump. From behind the old man, a pretty petite with brown hair and big brown eyes, and the biggest smile on her face stepped up. "My name is MC from Miracle Finder."

Almost immediately, Shaw withdrew his arm around you, almost causing you to stagger backward. He straightened up and feigned disinterest.

"Hey. It's a little rude how you stepped in while I was talking to the Professor," he said, his tone teasing.

"Oh, I didn't notice you here. Do you mind if I talk to your Professor? We've invited him for an interview about the exhibit," the girl said sweetly.

Based on how unconsciously coy she acted around Shaw, and the way he kept egging her, there was no doubt that this was the girl he was crushing on. You felt like the odd person out all of a sudden and needed to step away.

You backed away slowly, careful not to rouse their attention because it would probably suck if you knew how Shaw would introduce you to his little crush. As soon as you were in a safe distance, you turned and walked aimlessly down the hall, pausing briefly at paintings or sculptures that caught your fancy, looking at its intricacies as you did so earlier. But somehow, it wasn't as fun as it was before, so you moved on quickly, to give way to the other guests who also wanted to view the artwork.

Finally, you came upon the bar and decided to rest your tired feet at the far corner, hidden from the rest of the world. Sighing, you slipped your feet off your stilettos and quietly watched as the guests around you - mostly couples - happily chatting away as they enjoyed the beauty of the art around them and the wonderful music that filled the air. You knew somewhere in the crowd, your date was fawning over his lady love, probably getting in the way of her filming your professor.

Tch.

You knew he liked her - he always told you he did. And why wouldn't he? MC was pretty, seemingly sweet, and dainty - the kind of girl any guy would like to protect. And you. You were the opposite. You lived for your work, were 'one of the boys', and didn't need anyone to protect you - that's just how you were - and now you started to realize that maybe guys don't exactly like that. At least not Shaw.

Wait, what were you thinking? You scolded yourself as you shook your head. Why were you even thinking of what he liked when you don't even like him to start with. Or did you?

"Ugh. What the hell is wrong with me?" You groaned when a cold bottle of beer and a frozen glass was placed in front of you.

"I was gonna ask you that myself."

You straightened up in your seat and shot a look at the guy seated beside you. Dressed in a nice grey suit, he smiled as he raised his beer bottle in front of you.

"You look like you needed a drink. I hope the beer is okay. They don't have fruit beer or soda," he said calmly, his amber-colored eyes never leaving yours.

"Y-yeah. Beer is perfect," you replied while pouring the amber liquid into the glass. "Thanks," you muttered before raising the glass to your lips to gulp down some liquid courage.

"I saw you with Shaw earlier -"

The name on his lips drove you to a coughing fit, as you choked on your drink. "Sorry, " you mumbled in between coughs.

"No, I'm sorry," the brown-haired guy said, as he cautiously and politely patted your back. "I didn't mean to bring that up. I was just curious."

"It's fine," you replied when you finally regained your composure. "Yes, we're just classmates in Grad school who decided to check this exhibit out for the heck of it."

"Classmates, huh?"

"Yeah, that's what we are," you said, taking a sip off your glass. "Grad school classmates."

"Are you telling me or telling yourself?"

You looked up and saw him smiling. There was something about Dreamy McHandsome who was seated beside you that felt so familiar yet different at the same time, but you couldn't point a finger at what it was exactly.

"We're classmates, and we're working on our thesis together. But we're not friends - far from it even. We hate each other's guts."

"Can't blame you for doing so," he shrugged as he drank his beer.

"Yeah. He dragged me here so he can get with someone he's been crushing on for so long," you rambled on, frowning.

"Oh? And who might that be?"

"The Miracle Finder Producer. You know, the pretty girl in a blue top and white skirt. He's been going on and on about her for weeks…"

"You mean my girlfriend?"

His girlfriend. You choked on your drink once again. "Y-y-your girlfriend? You mean to say…" You gasped. Has the beer made you stupid? You've barely drunk half of it, you thought as you fought to regain your dignity. This was Shaw's brother you were talking to - and boy, we're they blessed with good genes…

… And the same social awkwardness, you noticed, judging by how he kept his hand at your back, but not exactly touching it, as if trying to assess if he had to pat you or not.

When you finally calmed down, he cleared his throat and gave you a small smile. "Don't worry. She talks to me about their conversations. I know what that guy is playing at, and I most definitely know he's not after my girl," he said, his voice broke no room for doubt. "My name is Gavin..."

"Yeah, I know…"

"You - what?"

"Oh," you said, tapping on your glass nervously. "Shaw kinda mentioned it in passing before."

"I see."

"So, what were you saying earlier about Shaw?"

"Oh. From what my girlfriend tells me, he's got his sights set on…"

"Ahem," you heard someone say loud enough for you and Gavin to turn your heads around. And there, standing behind you, was an angry-looking Shaw. You sat up, your gaze shifting between the two brothers as the air started to thicken with tension. "I talk to someone for a minute and the next thing I knew, my date walks out on me and right into the one person I'd hate for her to meet."

"Well, if you were just honest with her as with a lot of other things in your life, maybe she wouldn't have left your side earlier," Gavin retorted flippantly. "Is she finally done with filming?"

Shaw simply grunted in reply as he watched his older brother finish his bottle of beer and stand. "Well, Miss, there's a lot I've heard about you. Seems somebody couldn't stop talking about you, but I'll leave it at that."

With a wink and a mischievous smile upon his face, the brown-haired guy sauntered off to look for his better half, as you and Shaw watched in awkward silence.

He cleared his throat and glanced at you. "Hey."

"Hey," you replied, shakily.

"So, about what that jerk said -"

"Yes?" You asked, feeling your heart hammer against your chest by the second.

"Whatever he said is not true," he said dismissively, as he took his coat off and draped it over your shoulders. "I told you before, I don't find you the least bit attractive."

You felt tears starting to sting your eyes, as he continued with his harsh commentary. "You're tough, highly opinionated, and you always want to come out on top. I don't find those attractive at all," he said. "I prefer a damsel in distress. I want someone clingy… someone, needy."

"I know that -"

"Oh do you?" He teased, his amber eyes twinkling. "You seem to know a lot about me."

"We've been working together for months now," you said. "Of course, I'd know more about you."

"I see," he said, as he took a step closer to you and touched your cheek, rubbing the stray tear that had managed to slip down the side of your face. "So, you must know I'm also a good liar. After all, I've kept all these feelings to myself for quite some time."

He snickered when he saw your frown deepen and he bent down just as he had done so earlier, to whisper. "I made you think I liked someone else when in fact," his low voice made you shiver. "I've always eyes for you."

The End.

#mr love queen's choice shaw #mr love queen's choice #mlqc fanfic #mr love fanfic #mlqc shaw #shaw x reader #mlqc gavin #iris writes

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bondsmagii · 3 years

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(cw: I'm about to get real crass about CSA because it makes me real mad and that's how I cope)

the cultural reaction to cuties is infuriating to me, especially how even defenders feel the need to criticise the hypersexualised camera shots for ""normalising sexualistion of children in film"". Like, this is a thing that is happening in real life, right now, folks! Real Life Kids commonly do dances like these, in clothes like these, in an attempt to copy adult women being framed in shots like that! That's basically a good fifth of Tik Tok! The shots being of kids instead of adults is intentionally horrific, because it's trying to highlight that that kind of societal gaze is what pressured them to do the dances and wear the clothes and everything else; to take a thing that we've all come to accept as normal (8 year olds online twerking to songs explicitly about sex) and make us see how horrific it is, so people might give a shit for once. (A real shit, not that Pizzagate-adjacent thing where people only bring it up in service of criticising something/someone they already didn't like, and never exploring why it's so prevalent to begin with). You know, the filmic opposite of normalisation?? It's incredibly disappointing that people's takeaway appears to be: "ew gross, look at how horny this camera is for literal children. Glad this absolutely isn't a thing that happens in real life that I will go straight back to ignoring while patting myself on the back for identifying this media as Problematic

And the idea that "a pedophile could get off to this" makes any sense as criticism! I guess pedophiles only get off to children in revealing clothing, huh? So all children need to do to avoid pedophiles is, uh... *checks notes* "dress less slutty". I *wish* I lived in a world where pedophiles were genuinely waiting on feature films to deliver them a few shots of children in revealing clothing, instead of trading real CP that has caused untold suffering. Sometimes it really feels like people are more invested in weaponising the idea of suffering children in rhetoric, rather than the welfare of real children. It's the same disconnect that makes it impossible to bring up things like early intervention programs for pedophiles without being called a pedophile yourself (a rich thing to call someone who was on the receiving end, and takes about a year off my lifespan every time).

Every time someone brings this movie up, I feel like I'm losing my marbles. Otherwise smart and insightful people seem completely willing to misread it in the most infuriating way possible. It's like it's the Asch conformity test, and I'm the rube in the last chair wondering whether I even watched the same movie as them. It's comforting to see at least one other person on this godforsaken planet comprehending that The Sexualised Children Shots Are Horrific On Purpose in this movie trying to push people out of complacency

honestly go off like I could not have said this better myself. this is exactly what's been pissing me off about the response to this movie and my post about it in general.

this is what I cannot get my head around. like, people are freaking out over how this movie normalises the sexualisation of young children, but somehow miss the point that it's already been normalised. the movie would not be necessary if this hadn't already become a completely normal part of society. even walking around the shops in town I see children maybe 10 or 11 years old dressed like Instagram models, faces full of makeup, revealing clothing... it's honestly disturbing. these kids think that's acceptable, they think that's what they need to do in order to have worth, and it's terrifying. if I had my own children, I would be terrified for them. the movie is not the problem. why people can't direct this anger and outrage to websites like TikTok instead, I have no idea. probably because that would require actual work, and we all know these people are addicted to outrage and self-righteousness and absolutely allergic to any kind of effort to create real change.

It's incredibly disappointing that people's takeaway appears to be: "ew gross, look at how horny this camera is for literal children. Glad this absolutely isn't a thing that happens in real life that I will go straight back to ignoring while patting myself on the back for identifying this media as Problematic"

people get so offended when they're made to feel uncomfortable. I have no idea why. I'm trying to work out this thought process but it's simply beyond me. it baffles me that people can see something that's actually happening in the world, and instead of getting angry about the actual issue, they decide to attack the female director of the movie about said issue, who is writing from her own experience. like, how in god's name these people managed to miss the point so badly, I do not know. the manoeuvres they had to do to miss a point that big and obvious should make them all automatic gold medal winners in Olympic gymnastics.

(I do think that a lot of people yelling the loudest about Cuties have probably only seen the Netflix promotional poster and then devoured a bunch of Twitter threads highlighting the apparent problems and possibly a view video essays on YouTube showing the most dramatic and out of context shots of the girls, however.)

right? like. this point is so fucking useless. by this logic, we should ban everything with photos of children in it. if a paedophile is going to waste time going to see a full feature movie just to see some young girls twerking-- I mean, why would they in the first place? why would a paedophile do that when they can just sign on to TikTok and see thousands of hours of footage of young girls twerking? and if "revealing clothing" is all it takes, what's stopping this paedophile from going to the local pool and watching the kids in swimwear? what's stopping this paedophile from going and picking up a clothing catalogue and flipping to the pictures of little girls in dresses? the fact that people can compare the content of a feature-length film to actual CP fucking baffles me. like. it's actually insulting to compare things like that -- and by extension, any child on the street in a t-shirt or a dress or a skirt or a swimsuit -- to actual CP. like, who looks at a kid and thinks like that? if you want to stop paedophiles being creeps, you'd have to lock kids up in the house until they're 18 and ban all depictions of kids forever. paedophiles are gonna be creeps no matter what, and they're not going to bother with a full film when they can log onto TikTok and comment something creepy on footage of a real life child who might even message back and enter into communication with them. like, damn. why aren't more people getting mad and outraged about that?

Sometimes it really feels like people are more invested in weaponising the idea of suffering children in rhetoric, rather than the welfare of real children.

they are. "somebody please think of the children" is now the rallying cry of the right (all leading Democrats are secret paedophiles, the LGBT agenda is making Our Innocent Christian Children into perverts) and the left (problematic media is Harming Our Innocent Children, everything needs to be censored and squeaky clean so the Metaphorical Children don't stumble across it and think it's acceptable). it's the quickest way to get people outraged and it works like a charm. as soon as somebody starts rallying under the flag of protecting kids, it gives them a fast pass to power and influence. who wants to be seen to not care about kids? who wants to risk being called a paedophile or a child abuser? unfortunately their eagerness to declare everybody such has resulted in it losing its meaning. now when I see someone accused of paedophilia I no longer feel the usual revulsion but instead a tired suspicion followed by hours of research to determine if they are actually abusing children, or if they ship the wrong thing. to put the numbers into perspective, the one and only time I found out somebody was actually abusing minors, I was genuinely shocked because I had never found a true accusation before in oh, six years? which is unsurprising, seems I have been called a paedophile and told I shouldn't be around children because I like a villain from a YA series. as for real children, none of these people give a shit.

It's comforting to see at least one other person on this godforsaken planet comprehending that The Sexualised Children Shots Are Horrific On Purpose in this movie trying to push people out of complacency

that's exactly it right there -- it's horrific on purpose, but these people can't understand that. to them, literature and art and film is supposed to always make you feel good, and if it doesn't it's mean and abusive and you should have warned for it and also you're an asshole for making it in the first place. for people who only consume media to feel good, and only create it to feel progressive and wholesome, it's inconceivable why people would create something depressing or disturbing. because they're consuming media of only things they like, they assume everyone else is. ergo, if you make something nasty, it's because you're into something nasty. if you write about a murderous villain, it's because you want to be a murderous villain. if you direct a movie about children being sexually exploited, you must want to sexually exploit children.

these people cannot understand that art is supposed to teach and inform as well as comfort and coddle. some art is there to make you feel good, and other art is there to make you take notice of injustice and suffering and make you angry and upset enough to want to do something about it. these people do not understand that at all, and with this kind of logic they would try to ban Holocaust survivors from speaking at schools because it's too upsetting to think about, rather than paying attention to the message that such things get across. we cannot change society without empathy, and to experience empathy for something outside our own understanding and experience, we need to come into contact with people who have lived through it. we need to see it depicted. that's how we learn to feel for others. it puts a face to the suffering and makes it easier to stay motivated and stay mad.

but no. these people just want to be nice and fuzzy and safe. that's all that matters to them, and anyone who thinks they're wrong for doing it must be a paedophile or something. right. gotcha.

#long post #anon #asks

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