#and after ashton snaps her out of it fcg yells at her to believe in the gods or what the fuck ever

[starchildghost]

me gently shaking laudna in my mind for the past few weeks

[utilitycaster]

I have been thinking about FCG and Imogen's dynamic and how much it changed and i have talked about it in tags a couple of times

Like it changed from both of them going "there is something really wrong with you and you don't realize it, so i will help you fix it" to echother. And now they are both very much on a standstill and kinda waiting for the other to the other to "come to their senses"

I have a feeling that something is going to happen and they are gonna start arguing and snapping at each other, because there is a really fun tension forming between the two of them and their own arrogance is keeping them at bay

So here's the thing: I don't actually think FCG is acting this way towards Imogen! I think it's mostly one-sided and coming from Imogen, whereas FCG is kind of just rolling along doing their own thing.

FCG's arc so far has been one of learning their purpose and the truth about the demise of their party, which was obviously traumatic, but they were met with the support of Bells Hells and Imahara Joe and encouraged heavily to make their own path - and found a deity who represents exactly that: possibility, change, and chance. While his path towards faith has definitely been a weird one with its share of incorrect assumptions, it's also helped him through a lot of difficult circumstances, and it's been rewarded with the attention of the Changebringer. They also met FRIDA and were able to make a strong connection with them very quickly, and while they're still figuring things out, there's a sense of peace about it. FCG still does care about other people, but he's started to consider his own needs in a way he previously didn't and tentatively embrace personhood, and can see a way forward.

Imogen, on the other hand, despite learning much more about the source of her powers, knows less about what she wants now. Originally, she hoped to learn where they came from, and she wanted to be rid of them - or at least, she thought she wanted to be rid of him (Imogen's feelings about power lead me to believe she never actually wanted to be rid of them entirely, just, understandably, the downsides). She now knows that she is Ruidusborn, with all that entails...and the party is fighting most of the Ruidusborn, and the source of her powers. And, to be clear, I absolutely think the party is right, but Imogen finds herself wanting the thing she thought she didn't want (Ruidusborn powers). And whereas the party has largely been tolerant, if not always enthused with FCG's explorations of religion, Imogen feeling out the Ruby Vanguard was met with vehement opposition. Which, again, is fair, because FCG is saying some theologically incorrect and perhaps annoying to some but ultimately harmless shit about a canonically good-aligned deity, whereas Imogen was entertaining siding with a murderous group of cultists responsible for the deaths of Orym's husband, Orym himself, Fearne, and Laudna; but I can see why she felt upset about it.

I think Imogen is intensely jealous of FCG, actually, and she knows it's irrational, which only makes it feel worse. FCG is embracing personhood in a way she doesn't like, but that's the whole point of personhood, isn't it? To make the choices that are right for you, considering the needs of your friends but not erasing yourself to accommodate them. FCG has received support, and even a relationship with someone who can uniquely understand them - in fact, even more so, after this last episode, in which FRIDA has also killed at the command of Aeor. FCG, when unsure about their purpose and agency, received gentle guidance and encouragement to take their time and figure out who they wanted to be. Imogen, when plagued with doubt, has received none of that. She's been yelled at by Ashton and Orym (again: valid of Ashton and Orym, but we're focusing on Imogen's perspective and the fact that she probably even realizes they were right, but that doesn't help her actually feel better). She's constantly told by her closest friend (whose own darker power source was seemingly eliminated without ill effects) that she's "very capable" or that she's always been able to make her own decisions, both responses which give Imogen no room to actually grapple with that doubt and have a chance to address it head-on.

FCG didn't know what they wanted at the beginning, and has found an incredibly validating purpose and a companion who understands many of their struggles. Imogen got precisely what she thought wanted - she even now has a magical item that does take away some of the worst effects of her powers - and it's unsatisfying. She's full of resentment and she knows it's misdirected. I don't even think she's waiting for FCG to come to their senses. I think she just wants to feel what he feels and have what he has, but pursuing the gods isn't right for her, so she's lashing out.