#and adrian is like did bela put you up to this. be honest with me.

[princehendir]

Isabela: so how's it going :)

Adrian: [evasively] it's. It's fine.

*long pause*

Adrian: hey so, quick question, nbd if the answer is yes because it was admittedly very funny but, were you aware that Mari's full name is Marian when you set us up?

Isabela: no I wasn't aware her name is actually Marian. Why would that-

Fenris: (has seen Adrian's birth certificate) (long story) her name is Marian?

Not to steal a joke from transsexual seinfeld but dating a woman who has his deadname is kind of exactly the kind of thing that would happen to Adrian

[12-steps-in-action]

"I Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself"

Resentments:

I am resentful at: Myself, for failing as a father. The cause: Addiction Lack of self awareness What was hurt? ○ My personal relations ○ My emotional security ○ My self esteem, My pride. Where was I to blame? I am to blame for all of it. I did not want to face the magnitude of my choices. I thought if I ignored them, they would go away. I am resentful at: People, for being so stupid. The cause: ○ Society ○ Social Media ○ Social Networking. What was hurt? ○ Ambitions. Where was I to blame? By not recognizing that I was a part of the problem and not the solution. I am resentful at: Bill, for controlling my mother and getting a secret life insurance policy on her. The cause: ○ Bill is worried about retirement. ○ Bill feels that she spends to much money on me. What was hurt? ○ Trust Where was I to blame? ○ Spending too much of his money. I had a fucking hospitals in the entire medical system so I understand I fucking undS     erstand what you mean but I still a little like really yeah I don’t know ○ Taking his money for granted. I am resentful at: Pharmaceutical drug makers The cause: ○ Not being able to afford my meds. ○ Not covered by Alberta Works, ○ $200 a month. ○ Profit margins. What was hurt? ○ Pocket book ○ Ambitions ○ Emotional security ○ Personal relations Where was I to blame? Not budgeting my money properly. I am resentful at: The board of education. The cause: ○ Selling the knowledge of the arts ○ Over priced knowledge meant to accumulate debt to secretly own slaves. What was hurt? ○ Self-esteem ○ Pocket book ○ Ambitions Where was I to blame? Knowing the cost and not planning or saving money for it. I am resentful at: Authority Figures. The cause: ○ Police officers who abuse their authority. ○ Snap judgements What was hurt? ○ Self-esteem ○ Pocket book ○ Ambitions ○ Pride Where was I to blame? Not giving a fuck about mans bullshit laws. I am resentful at: Internet trolls The cause: ○ Spying on me ○ Hacking my computer ○ Gossiping about me ○ I just fucking hate them What was hurt? ○ Ambitions ○ Pocket book ○ Emotional security ○ Personal relations Where was I to blame? Dumping fuel on the fire. I am resentful at: Tax The cause: I can't charge it but I have to p ○ Ambitions Where was I to blame? Only seeing the bad of it and not the good. I am resentful at: Control The cause: Those who wish to make me What was hurt? ○ Emotional security ○ Personal relations Where was I to blame? Lack of self awareness I am resentful at: Judgmental cowards The cause: Antagonizing me online while hiding What was hurt? ○ Ambitions ○ Pocket book ○ Emotional security ○ Personal relations Where was I to blame? Dumping fuel on the fire.

Fears:

Fear Success. Example Quitting fresh start because I was afraid that I was not good enough for what came after. Where did I fail? I created and believed a lie to avoid hard work. Solution A prayer to strengthen my self awareness and action, to see it through. Fear Failure. Example I failed as a father. Where did I fail? I put myself before my daughter. Solution Think of Bela before I make any decision. Fear The unknown. Example I was afraid to finish Fresh Start because I didn't know what to do next. Where did I fail? I made up a lie so I could justify quitting. Solution Pray for courage to move forward. Fear Commitment. Example Quitting everything halfway through. Where did I fail? Every time I commit to something, I feel that I have mastered it by the time I'm half way through. Solution Change my attitude, make it more positive. Fear Bela's judgement of me. Example When I call, she doesn't sound interested in talking to me. Where did I fail? Not calling her enough or be around more often. Solution Be apart of her life more often. Fear Relapse. Example Money makes me relapse the most. Where did I fail? Every time I have money I relapse. Solution Look into money management courses. Fear Bad health. Example Dramatic weight loss/gain, dehydration, toxin's, heart palps. Where did I fail? Believing I was stronger then most and it won't effect me the same. Solution Humble myself. Fear Not having done my best. Example Feeling like I'm better then everyone else. Where did I fail? My whole life I have never put 100% effort into anything. Solution Self-discovery. Fear Dying violently Example Some of my friends have died very violently Where did I fail? Following in their footsteps. Solution Self-awareness Fear Change. Example A break up. Where did I fail? I forget who I was before I was with them. Solution Always stay true to myself. Sexual Misconducts: Whom did I hurt? Patsy What did I do? Lied, cheated Did I unjustifiably arouse... ○ Jealousy ○ Suspicion ○ Bitterness Where was I at fault? ○ Selfishness ○ Dishonesty ○ Inconsiderate Was this relationship selfish? Yes What should I have done differently? I could have been more considerate and honest and open with communication.

Whom did I hurt? Sabrina What did I do? Lied, cheated, drug abuse Did I unjustifiably arouse... ○ Jealousy ○ Suspicion ○ Bitterness Where was I at fault? ○ Selfishness ○ Dishonesty ○ Inconsiderate Was this relationship selfish? Yes What should I have done differently? Broke up whit her Whom did I hurt? Soyno What did I do? Drug abuse, lied. Did I unjustifiably arouse... ○ Suspicion Where was I at fault? ○ Dishonesty ○ Inconsiderate Was this relationship selfish? Yes What should I have done differently? Stayed off of drugs and been honest wtih her Whom did I hurt? Cynthia What did I do? Drug abuse, treated with no respect. Did I unjustifiably arouse... ○ Inconsiderate Where was I at fault? ○ Inconsiderate Was this relationship selfish? Yes What should I have done differently? Showed respect to her, not give her drugs. Whom did I hurt? Cody What did I do? Took advantage of her Did I unjustifiably arouse... ○ Selfishness ○ Dishonesty ○ Inconsiderate Where was I at fault? I took advantage of a girl in a bad situation, I only dated her because she did drugs. Was this relationship selfish? Yes What should I have done differently? Not dated her And lead her on Whom did I hurt? Amanda What did I do? Took advantage of her Did I unjustifiably arouse... ○ Selfishness ○ Dishonesty ○ Inconsiderate Where was I at fault? I took advantage of a girl in a bad situation, I only dated her because she did drugs Was this relationship selfish? Yes What should I have done differently? Not dated her And lead he on Whom did I hurt? Debra. What did I do? Disrespected her. Did I unjustifiably arouse... ○ Selfishness ○ Inconsiderate Where was I at fault? I said some unforgiveable shit to her out of anger. Is this relationship selfish? No. What should I have done differently? Treated her with respect. Harms : Whom did I hurt? Bela What did I do? I have been absent from her childhood. Did I unjustifiably arouse... ○ Bitterness Where was I at fault? I didn't put her first. Was this relationship selfish? yes What should I have done differently? Considered her well-being before making any decision. Been more present in her life. Whom did I hurt? My Mother What did I do? I get mad and frustratedat her for something that she has no control over. Did I unjustifiably arouse... ○ Bitterness Where was I at fault? Lack of trust, Thinking that I know more about her problems then she does. Was this relationship selfish? Yes What should I have done differently? Kept searching for solutions to ease her suffering. Whom did I hurt? Bill What did I do? Took advantage of his hard earned money. Did I unjustifiably arouse... ○ Bitterness Where was I at fault? lack of appreciation. Was this relationship selfish? Yes What should I have done differently? Kept taking care of my own responsibilities. Whom did I hurt? Patsy What did I do? Didn't help her with supporting our child. Did I unjustifiably arouse... ○ Suspicion ○ Bitterness Where was I at fault? Being extremely selfish by wasting all of my money on my addiction. Was this relationship selfish? Yes What should I have done differently? Paid child support instead of making excuses not too. Whom did I hurt? Adrian What did I do? I wasn't there for him when he needed me most. Did I unjustifiably arouse... ○ Bitterness Where was I at fault? I chose my addiction over our friendship. Was this relationship selfish? Yes What should I have done differently? Been honest with him about my situation. Whom did I hurt? Andrew What did I do? I wasn't there for him when he needed me most. Did I unjustifiably arouse... ○ Bitterness Where was I at fault? I chose my addiction over our friendship. Was this relationship selfish? Yes What should I have done differently? Been honest with him about my situation. Whom did I hurt? Shelley What did I do? Took advantage of our relationship. Did I unjustifiably arouse... ○ Suspicion Where was I at fault? Only calling her to benefit myself. Was this relationship selfish? Yes What should I have done differently? Been a brother to her. Whom did I hurt? Stephanie What did I do? Took advantage of our relationship. Did I unjustifiably arouse... ○ Suspicion Where was I at fault? Only calling her to benefit myself. Was this relationship selfish? Yes What should I have done differently? Been a brother to her. Whom did I hurt? Debra What did I do? Added to her addiction, used in her house without her permission. Did I unjustifiably arouse... ○ Jealousy ○ Suspicion ○ Bitterness Where was I at fault? Got her hooked on meth, broke her trust. Was this relationship selfish? No What should I have done differently? Stayed in Fresh Start.