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#and adding the blur after the fact
licca-archive · 11 months
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here she is. the ruby choco herself...
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averlym · 1 year
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whshdfhfjf.,,,
#close up!! because i firstly Did Not render them with such insanity in order for tumblr's lack of general resolution to make it blur#look at all the lines!!! teehee i still really really like this style of digital painting it's super super fun to do!!! and also secondly#because i went back and added a tag ramble and as i seem to often be doing??? lately?? reached the 30 tag limit and went 'hm ok how else..'#anyway the tag essay on that one is now up and talks about the artwork generally and miscellaneous thoughts!! that said. i need a space to#ramble about beatrix at Length because look you don't draw and paint etc a character for like ten hours without having a lot of thoughts#anyways ! i digress terrifically. tag rambles are more like trains of thoughts masquerading as subways and you get on and it's unfortunately#a rollercoaster track. but this is My Blog and i can do Whatever I Want as long as i don't hurt anyone <- affirmations!! also Harm Principle#lately it's been like *kicks up feet* *opens tumblr tags* *treats it as own personal journal* and tbh Good for me!! anyways back to beatrix#fun fact ! the thing that pushed me over the edge to go watch the musical after looking through the tumblr tag was a very specific poll.#and the fact that the winning option was blue hair and pronouns made me double over laughing so hard i had to go see the source material#mm i feel like lately the academic Context has been tossing me essentially into a blender HAHA ;-; so everyone in adamandi is to some extent#a Mood. but bea-specific (haha be specific)(sorry!)(wow this is the same reaction mechanism of my friend who points out innuendos)(...)#i think it's the wanting to prove herself. like from the whole abuela etc thing there's proof here she's got a Stable Support System of sort#and instead what beatrix continues to do is push themselves. 'i guess u could say i'm married to my work? god that's depressing' // no one#here to enforce that // abuela tells me to rest says i'm constantly stressed and i'll just get depressed like before but i still have to try#like. that shred of desperation that pushes you to the brink to neglect yourself (well i guess physically but also your morals..) and like!!#the whole 'lose half your soul thing' proves she's self aware!! like they know what they're doing is super dubious yknow! but they're still#they're still doing it even if it goes into conflict with their morality system in a way and then they justify it to themselves (see pt 1#of ghostwriter) and the whole wanting to achieve at all costs Despite the self awareness. (i think? this aspect also applied to quincy. but#thoughts on him will come later). more beatrix specific also is the fact that they genuinely adore their work.. 'i just love it here where#you know they'll be printing forever and you are just part of it' because that does kind of resonate with me. also the being behind in the#competition is real!!! i'm maybe talking about Art as a subject because that same drive for it exists on my good days i think. even#even when nothing seems to be going right and you've ended up at the back the intent passion inherent in what you do is still there!!!#the genuine. care she has for reporting. is so !!!!! to me... other beatrix thoughts include 'why reveal yourself at the end' aka vincent's#'u should have stayed silent u had a smart plan' like rip to them but i would not // it feels with bea's complex character i can't imagine h#her Not doing that. like the guilt is real i guess. and i am running out of tags but! smth also about her fervent hope or smth that she'll#eventually get to where she wants. and the resilient determination.. 'i won't let their deaths be pointless there's more good i'm gonna do'#they're so so real for that. i'm not sure if it's a good or bad thing; seeing myself reflected in aspects of characters like this.. but it's#it's there regardless. smth smth just make your peace with the person you are ig!! tldr beatrix campbell my beloved. hehe#adamandi
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bklynsboys · 2 months
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Rest On Me (And I'll Lean On You)
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pairing: spencer reid x reader
summary: what surprised the unit chief was that your head, as if drawn by an invisible string, had laid rest on spencer's shoulder—a stray strand of hair tickling his cheek. and not only that, spencer didn't seem to mind, not one bit. or, you fall asleep on spencer's shoulder and the rest of the team sees.
genre: fluff
word count: 1.3k
author's notes: back with another spencer fluff! i miss seeing my baby on my screen. i had to rewatch old episodes right after seeing the new ones because i miss him so bad. anyhow, enjoy reading this one.
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RAIN LASHED AGAINST THE WINDSHIELD, BLURRING THE NEON GLOW OF THE CITY LIGHTS INTO A SMEAR. Inside the car, the air was filled with the silence of exhaustion. The BAU just narrowly captured another unsub—fortunately, just in time to save the most recent victim. Hotch, who was driving, glued his eyes to the rearview mirror. He had caught a glimpse of the scene unfolding behind him.
Spencer, usually busy poring through whatever piece of literature on his legs, was nestled into the corner, his head resting against the cool glass of the window. While, you, the newest member of the team, sat beside the male, curled up in the backseat, and brow furrowed in light sleep. Hotch recalled earlier how you were fighting back a yawn and wasn't surprised that he had found you passed out cold.
What surprised the unit chief was that your head, as if drawn by an invisible string, had laid rest on Spencer's shoulder—a stray strand of hair tickling his cheek. And not only that, Spencer didn't seem to mind, not one bit. In fact, a faint blush had dusted his cheeks, and his own eyes, momentarily fluttering open, held a hint of something akin to fondness.
Hotch watched, a small smile tugging at his lips. You and Spencer had been partnered for a particularly grueling case—a string of arsons with a unique signature. The long hours and emotional toll had clearly taken their toll.
Yet, even in exhaustion, an intimacy has bloomed between the both of you. Spencer, ever the gentleman, hadn't moved a muscle, seemingly content to act as a human pillow. On your part, like magnets, you had unconsciously gravitated towards his warmth, your breathing slowing into a peaceful rhythm.
Beside Hotch, a knowing grin spread across Morgan's face in the passenger seat. He glanced back at you and Spencer through the rearview mirror, catching the tender scene. He stifled a chuckle, it was endearing to see the boy genius to be intimate with someone, knowing that he wasn't known to be keen on physical affection.
With a playful nudge to Hotch's arm, Morgan kept his voice low. "Looks like someone found a comfy pillow, Hotch."
Hotch chuckled softly, his gaze never leaving the rearview mirror. "Seems so, Derek. Seems so."
But Morgan, ever the tease, couldn't resist adding another jab. "Just don't drool on him, kid," he called back in a mock-serious tone, knowing full well you were fast asleep.
Hotch shot him a withering look, but a hint of amusement flickered in his eyes. He knew Morgan wouldn't disturb the peaceful tableau unfolding in the back. They all needed a moment of rest, a stolen fraction of comfort in the storm.
The silence stretched, punctuated only by the rhythmic drumming of the rain. It was then, with a slight bump in the road, that the car dipped, causing Spencer to jostle ever so slightly. His head, as if following the car's movement, dipped as well, and his hair brushed against yours in a soft, unexpected touch.
You stirred in your sleep, a frown momentarily creasing your brow before smoothing out again. Spencer, wide awake now with a jolt of surprised awareness, froze. His hand instinctively reached up to brush the stray strand of hair back from his own face, but his fingers lingered in the air, hovering just above your head.
Heat flooded his cheeks as he realized the intimate position you had found yourselves in. He wanted to apologize, to gently move away, but a strange sense of peace settled over him. You looked so peaceful, nestled against the cool leather, and your brow finally relaxed. The exhaustion of the case seemed etched on your face, a shared burden they both carried.
With a silent sigh, Spencer decided against disturbing your slumber. He leaned his head back against the window, his gaze fixed on the blurry cityscape outside.
The car continued its journey through the city, the gentle sway a lullaby against the harsh symphony of the storm. You drifted deeper into sleep, the weight of Spencer's head on yours a grounding anchor.
As dawn painted the horizon with streaks of pink and orange, the rain finally subsided. Hotch, ever vigilant, announced they were nearing the precinct. Morgan, with a mischievous glint in his eyes, nudged Hotch again. "Think they'll wake up before we get there?" he whispered.
Hotch chuckled. "Knowing them, they'll probably jolt awake the second we stop. But for now, let them sleep."
The car pulled into the familiar parking lot of the BAU headquarters. Hotch gently nudged the brakes, careful not to disturb the peaceful scene in the back.
A trace of sunlight peeked through the clouds, illuminating the interior of the car. It danced across your face, warming your cheek and causing your eyelids to flutter open. You blinked, momentarily disoriented, before the events of the previous night flooded back.
A blush crept up your neck as you realized your head was resting on Spencer's shoulder. You were about to mumble an apology when you noticed his head turned towards the window, a thoughtful expression etched on his face.
Gathering your courage, you cleared your throat softly. "Spencer?"
He turned his head slightly, a surprised look flickering across his features before a gentle smile softened his expression. "Good morning."
You felt a tug in your chest, a mixture of awkwardness and something else, something warmer and more exhilarating. The sound of the car door opening startled both of you. Spencer's eyes flew open, a look of surprise mirroring yours.
"Did you sleep well?" he asked, his voice barely a whisper.
You felt a renewed warmth bloom in your cheeks. "I… I think so," you stammered, suddenly self-conscious. "How about you?"
Before you got the chance to hear what Spencer had to say, Morgan's voice boomed from behind you. "Well, well, well. Looks like someone slept well."
You scrambled to sit up straight, your face burning. Spencer mirrored your movement, a sheepish smile tugging at his lips. "Uh, good morning, Morgan," you stammered.
"Morning, kids," Morgan chuckled. "Hotch is grabbing coffee. You two coming in, or are you planning on catching some more shut-eye in the parking lot?"
You stole a glance at Spencer, who was gathering his things with a focus that seemed almost deliberate. The memory of his hair brushing against yours sent a shiver down your spine. You weren't sure if it was the exhaustion of the case or something else entirely, but the shared touch felt undeniably intimate.
"We're coming, Morgan," you called out, your voice a little shaky.
As you were about to exit the car, Spencer held the door for you with a shy smile. "Thanks for letting me, uh, borrow your shoulder," he mumbled, his cheeks dusted with a faint pink.
"No worries, Spencer," you replied, forcing a casual tone. "We both needed the rest. And thank you, as well. I used your shoulder first, so I guess it's only fair I let you borrow mine."
Spencer chuckled at this which caused your cheeks to pinken.
"About earlier," Spencer started. "When you asked me how I'm doing? Much better than I expected, considering the circumstances," he admitted with a hint of a chuckle.
The air crackled with unspoken words, a tension that felt both electric and strangely comfortable. You stole a glance at his profile, the way the soft morning light highlighted the planes of his face.
"That's good," you finally managed, your voice barely above a whisper. "We should probably get going."
Spencer seemed to hesitate for a moment, then nodded in agreement. "Right. We have forms to fill up."
Before you could unbuckle your seatbelt, Spencer beat you to it—his hand brushed against yours for a fleeting moment. It sent a jolt through you, a silent echo of the intimacy from the night before.
Stepping out of the car, you took a deep breath of crisp morning air. The city stretched out before you bathed in the golden hues of sunrise.
"Ready to face another day?" Morgan uttered loudly ahead of you, his voice laced with amusement.
You turned to face him, sighing at his teasing. You weren't oblivious to the fact that Morgan liked seeing you and Spencer together. "As ready as I'll ever be, Morgan."
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sleep-drunk-kitten · 3 months
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pairing: Sunghoon x fem!reader
genre: angst with a happy ending, fluff, established relationship
content warnings: emotional neglect, some swearing, hoon is kinda a workaholic ig?, I don't think there's anything that really needs warnings other than this is sad but lmk if I miss anything!
summary: your boyfriend comes home late after promising to be home on time for once, only to find that you're nowhere in sight...
notes: this is another one that I'm not sure how to feel about ;-; but I hope you guys enjoy it TwT fun fact, the whole thing was inspired by an rp that I did with an ai where the robot somehow managed to call me by another person's name while cuddling XD
I'm making a general taglist for my fics so if anyone would like to be added please either send an ask or a DM ^w^
Everything below the cut is NOT proofread
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  The white noise of your favorite movie buzzes through your living room, conversation and dialogue that you’d learned by heart filling the cold space with a false sense of familiarity. You sit cross-legged with your back pressed into the arm of the L-shaped couch in front of the tv, resting your chin on a plushie held close to your chest, looking not at the flickering screen to your right, but at the clock hanging in your kitchen–the only room in the house with the lights on. 
  9:17 pm, it reads. Roughly three hours and seventeen minutes since your boyfriend would typically get home from work. 
  Three hours and seventeen minutes since you’d been waiting on a barstool by the kitchen island where you both usually took your meals. 
  A tiramisu cake and a bouquet of flowers laid out in front of you. 
  Waiting.
  Waiting.
  So much waiting. 
  After an hour or so, you’d gently slid the cake back into its box, distracting yourself with the task of putting the flowers into a vase before they could wilt. 
  ‘He’s late again,’ you think sleepily, eyes struggling to stay focused on the clock, ’he promised he wouldn’t be tonight.’
  Your vision blurs as the long hand hits 12, eyelids too heavy to keep open, mind wandering to the conversation you’d shared with Sunghoon that morning. 
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  “What time will you be home from work today?” you asked sleepily, sitting up in your nest of blankets, having woken up to find that he was already in the process of pulling his socks on, careful not to wake you. 
  “I don’t know, Love, you know how crazy things have been with this update, I might be late again,” he said absently, looking around for his glasses. “Where the fuck did I put them?”
  He runs a hand through his hair frustratedly, leg bouncing in agitation. It made your heart ache slightly in your chest, disappointment, guilt, and worry mixing confusedly in your stomach. 
  You loved Sunghoon, more than almost anything else in your life, he was the man you’d chosen as your partner, who you’d decided to stand by through thick and thin. But ever since the game company he worked for had started work on a new update, you’d been seeing less and less of him. Always coming home late, tired and stressed, mind wandering and absent even when he was sitting right in front of you. You understood, you really did. Between the two of you he was the one with the bigger income, the burden of taking care of you, of making sure that the two of you could build a future together, was on his shoulders. And it was a responsibility that he did not take lightly. 
  But still. 
  In moments like that, where you slid off your bed to fetch his glasses off the nightstand–blanket wrapped securely round your shoulders to fend off the cold that permeated your apartment since the heating had started to malfunction–moving round the bed to stand in front of him… you couldn’t help but feel like he was breaking your heart. Just a little. 
  It was in the way he only met your eyes briefly when he took them from you before standing and gathering the rest of his things, sighing in what could’ve been frustration or relief, it was hard to tell. 
  It was the way he didn’t stop the flow of movement steadily taking him away from you and towards the office till you called his name twice, stopping in his tracks and fixing you with a look that, though probably unintentional, made you want to bury yourself under your mountain of plushies and hide. 
  “I’m going to be late, (y/n), what is it?”
  You winced. You couldn’t help it. Unaccustomed to hearing him say your name with so little emotion. “Just… could you come back on time tonight?” your voice is barely more than a whisper, tapering off into silence the longer you force your eyes to meet his. “Unless you can’t of course! I’m not saying you have to do anything, I understand that you’re busy and you can’t really dictate when or how things get done but just that it would be nice if you could be home on time tonight since-”
  “Okay.”
  “Huh?” 
  “I’ll make it home on time tonight.” 
  His voice was softer than it had been a moment ago, giving you the courage you needed to meet his eyes. They were still heavy with worry, brows drawn together to dig a permanent crease into the middle of his forehead, but they weren’t quite as cold or distant. He was looking at you, really looking at you for the first time in what felt like forever. 
  It wasn’t much, you knew that. But it was still enough to ease the knot building in your throat. Enough to bring a small smile to your face as you nodded. “Mnm! Okay, I’ll see you tonight then.”
   “Mnm, alright,” he said, a small, slightly strained smile coming to rest on his own lips.
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  The apartment was almost completely dark when the lock to the front door chimed, alerting the darkness that someone had arrived. The figure that stepped through was slumped over, backpack sliding off one shoulder with his jacket, shoes abandoned haphazardly. 
  It took a moment for Sunghoon’s mind to catch up to his body, for it to fully sink into his bones that he was home. That he was home and it was nearly 11 pm. Home and the tv and kitchen light were both on, white letters onscreen asking the room if anyone was still watching Netflix. 
  Something in the kitchen caught his eye, a handmade vase his sister had given you for your birthday set out on the kitchen island, filled to the brim with pink, white, and purple flowers he did not recognise. 
  ’Oh’
  It was his birthday. 
  That’s why you’d asked him to come home on time. 
  Sunghoon groaned, face twisting with what could only be described as pain as he quickly set his bag down by the front door and made his way to your shared bedroom. You were usually asleep by this time, unable to pull all-nighters the way you used to back when you were in high school, always out like a light by no later than 10:30 every night. 
  ’But she still stays up every night waiting for you,’ a voice in his head hisses.
  ’I know… fuck I know she does,’ his own voice replies, panic setting in when he finds your room empty, the bed neatly made, not even a dent to show that you’d been laying in it while working on your laptop during the day. 
  ’She’s not here… are you surprised? How long did you expect her to wait?’ the voice whispers, a chill cascading down his spine.
  The panic sets in with more vigor, wrapping round his throat and sending his tired mind into overdrive as he checks the bathroom, your home office, and finally the dark living room. Fear telling him that this was it. 
  He’d really gone and done it now. 
  He wasn’t a complete fool. He knew the moment you stood in the middle of your bedroom floor instead of closing the distance between you and wrapping your arms around his waist, choosing instead to clutch your favorite duvet like a lifeline, wincing when you heard his voice, all because you wanted to ask him to come home… he knew right then that he’d been an absolute idiot. 
  He’d meant to come home early, to be there to make it up to you, to apologise properly, tell you that he’d take some time off as soon as the update was done and dusted. 
  But he didn’t. He let work sweep him up again. Drowning in error messages and buggy code till the sky outside his office windows was filled with the flickering lights of the city at night. 
  And now… now you weren’t there. 
  He’d left you alone. 
  He’d left you alone too long and you were gone. 
  You were gone. 
  You were gone and-
  ’Oh.’
  There you were. 
  The relief when Sunghoon sees you–curled up on the couch, partially hidden by a small pile of blankets and stuffed animals–is immediate.
  He doesn’t really register the way he sighs your name, shoulders relaxing, body melting into the floor the moment he’s in front of you, hand brushing a few messy strands of hair out of your face. The need to feel the warmth of your skin, to confirm that you really are there in front of him more an instinct than a conscious decision. 
  You mumble something in your sleep, tilting your face away from his cold fingertips, eyes fluttering open. “Hoon… hi baby… welcome home,” you say tiredly, shifting under your blankets in an attempt to pull yourself up. 
  Sunghoon feels his heart crack in his chest. Why were you smiling at him? You should've been angry. You should've pushed him away, demanded to know why he was back so late, why he'd been neglecting you in the first place. 
  “Baby? My love… why are you crying?” you ask, reaching for him through the haze of sleep still clinging to your limbs. 
  Choking back a sob, he leans closer, tucking his head under your chin and doing his best to wrap an arm around you from his place on the carpeted floor. “Nothing,” he says, shaking his head, though the tears soaking into your sternum say otherwise, “just missed you…”
  Your vision blurs at his words, a thread of steadily building tension and worry that had been constricting your heart for the past few weeks snapping. “Oh…” your voice shakes slightly, lungs shuddering as your breaths begin to feel lighter, “I’m right here you goose, what’re you crying for?” 
  “Who says I’m crying,” he says, hoarse with tears. 
  “Right right,” you laugh despite the dampness now soaking through your own cheeks, “because my baby never cries, huh?” 
  “Never,” he sniffles, nuzzling closer.
  You stay like that for a while, eventually urging him to sit more comfortably on the couch, allowing you to settle yourself on his lap, his arms still wrapped firmly round your waist, hands occasionally kneading whatever part of you he was in contact with as if he needed to assure himself that you were there, solid and real. 
  He waits until he feels your heartbeat slow to a steady rhythm, trying his best to calm down so his own can match yours, beat for beat. The way it–in his opinion–should. 
  But it wouldn’t, there were words lodged in his throat, and every time he tried to get them out he felt that same panic wash over him, sending his heart into a frenzy. 
  You could feel like beating against your cheek, could sense that there was something he wasn’t saying from the way his grip on you would tighten almost imperceptibly, stiffening as if he was bracing himself for something. A part of you wanted to push him, prompt him and ask what was going through his head, why you’d woken up to the sight of him crying in the dim light of your living room. And you would’ve if he hadn’t beat you to it. 
  “I’m sorry, (y/n).”
  “What do you mean? For being late? I know you can’t help it, Hoon, it’s not some-”
  “No! I mean yes, I’m sorry for being late tonight but… I mean… I mean for everything… for not being… here, with you, like this… as often as I should be, I’m sorry,” he says, the hands at your sides nervously fidgeting with the fabric at your hips, nervously looking between your face and the static tv screen behind you. 
  Sunghoon had never been good with words. You’d learned early on in your relationship that he preferred to show how he felt through his actions. Yet here he was, fumbling through an apology because… because… 
  “My love… did you think I’d left?” you ask, gently cupping his face with one hand, urging him to look at you. 
  Puffy red eyes still wet with tears, messy unkempt hair from running his hands through it all day, tired and probably as emotionally spent as you’d ever seen him and still… still he was the most beautiful person in the world to you. He nodded, hiding his face in your chest again, hands stilling. 
  “Well,” you sigh, resting your chin on top of his head and running a hand through the hair at the back of his head, combing through it in a way he swears only you can, “at least you know you’ve got things you need to make up for…”
  “I know… I forgot for a while… but I know…”
  “That’s okay then,” you breathe, leaning back to kiss his forehead. “But Sunghoon… baby… darling… the love of my life… my little pookie bear… “ you both giggle a little at the pet names, “You know I’d never leave you over something like this right? I was sad, and hurt, and I still expect you to make it up to me by never doing this again but… I still love you, it only hurts because I love you… I’m not going anywhere.”
  Sunghoon pauses for a moment, letting your words sink in. You think that when he looks up, lips slightly parted, it’s to say something in response, but you really should’ve known better. 
  Slowly, giving you enough time to pull away should you choose to, his breath mingling with yours before he steals it away with a soft, lingering kiss. Neither of you is in any rush to take things further. 
  It feels like a small eternity before he pulls away, like time stills for you both, but then he’s pressing his lips to your jaw, butterfly kisses tickling you down to your pulse point, making you giggle so you almost miss it when he says, “I love you too… so much…” 
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  It isn’t until the next day when you’re shuffling into your home office dressed in one of his oversized jerseys, complaining about a meeting that he remembers the flowers he’d seen on the kitchen island.
  Pulling out his phone, he makes good use of his detective skills (and google lens), remembering all the times you’d spoken to him about the language of flowers, and the meanings behind certain blooms. 
  He wasn’t quite sure whether to laugh or cry once he’d figured it out, opting to dig through the cabinets for a pack of waffle mix to fix you some breakfast instead. He had a lot of apologies to make…
Baby’s Breath: pure everlasting love
Pink Camellias: longing for you
Forget-me-nots: true love memories, do not forget me
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shitpostingkats · 1 year
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An Asexual's love letter to Good Omens 2
There's an infamous quote by Neil Gaiman going around, regarding the general vibe of season 2, and many people (I believe humorously) yelling that it could not be further from the truth. Particularly in the last episode, where that happens.
I disagree.
The final episode of season 2 was deeply, deeply comforting to me. 
I am asexual. Have been my whole life. Even before I had the words to describe what that was, child-me had this feeling in their gut of being an outlier, that everyone was exaggerating, or in on some joke, that I wasn’t privy to. Because I was bombarded on all sides by shows and movies and books, telling the same story of love, again, and again, and AGAIN. It’s drilled into our brains with the same fervor as the days of the week, or the quadratic formula. Meet-cute -> misunderstanding ->declaration of feelings ->kiss. More or less steps can be added to account for runtime or complexity of narrative, but that’s the basic structure that a relationship follows. It MUST be, because that’s the formula every character who's ever been in a story goes through, often times when it even feels like an add-on, like it’s only there because this is a story, there HAS to be a romance. And it has to follow the steps.
For a long time, I felt love wasn’t for me, because if there’s only one way to be in love, I sure as hell wasn’t feeling it. 
Instead, the relationship I ended up in looked a lot like what Beezlebub and Gabriel go through. Meeting someone routinely until it starts to feel comfortable. Getting to know them and slowly growing more attached. Eating chips and listening to music.
We like to joke whenever someone asks us how long we’ve been together, because the answer is we just sort of slowly fell into it, and we honestly don’t know when the line got blurred between ‘friends’ and ‘partners’. And, at least for me, a good deal of that confusion, that hesitancy to label, came from the fact that what I was feeling, what we were, couldn’t be love. It couldn’t be romantic. 
We were just quiet and gentle.
And that wasn’t love.
Because it was slow, because it wasn’t physical, because there was no structure aside from consistency and companionship. Because it didn’t follow the Rules.
Then I found myself in stories, and it felt like a revelation.
Beelzebub and Gabriel aren’t the first time I’ve seen a love like I feel represented in a narrative, but it never stops feeling special. And I don’t know if I’ll ever stop celebrating it.
Throughout the sequence in the pub, I kept expecting them to “confirm” Gabriel and Beelzebub. A dramatic line, a kiss, a whatever. That’s what I’ve been taught to expect, after all, that’s the only way a relationship is “real”. Of course, this doesn't mean Crowley and Aziraphale sharing a dramatic kiss is wrong, or that I can’t see why it resonated with so many people, but for me. Those moments in the pub are worth so much more.The last scene might have been literally showstopping, but those handful of moments between the duke of hell and an archangel were the beating heart of the season for me. A simple love story in four scenes. No kisses. No ‘I love you’s. Not even any definition of what. The love Gabriel and Beelzebub have is strong enough for them to both want to shatter their worlds and flee their lives and it's just. 
It's just that. 
Two people in a pub, playing the other's favorite song, giving a little gift, buying a packet of crisps. 
That sequence means far more to me than any kiss ever could.
Love isn’t only real when it's hot and sudden and ephemeral, it can also be
Quiet.
And gentle.
And still romantic.
Still real.
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stunie · 3 months
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“DIDN’T MEAN TO HURT YOU, I SWEAR!”
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WIND BREAKER BOYS + ACCIDENTALLY HURTING YOU. ft. hayato suo, kaji ren, nirei akihiko, sakura haruka, togame jo, & umemiya hajime x f!reader.
filled request: “Hi there i want to request something, asking Sakura, Ume, Nirei, Kaji and Suo to play fight and they accidentally hit you hard (If it's to many you can just do Suo and Kaji, no pressureeee)”
sfw. 3.2K wc. a/n: added togame! & tried to make suo & kaji’s xtra long since those 2 look like they might be ur faves <33
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HAYATO SUO.
in the time you’ve spent dating suo, you have never once managed to successfully sneak up on him. not even remotely close. it’s impossible to the point that you’ve started to consider the fact that your boyfriend may have developed a sort of sixth sense since meeting you, an intuitive awareness of your presence— because as soon as you step within a three foot radius of him, his head is swiftly turning to face you, greeting you with an amused smile and a “this again?” with that tone that has your eyebrow twitching all over again.
you continue to fiddle with the bottom of your shirt from where you’re hidden behind your apartment door, anxiously awaiting for the moment suo emerges from outside. your plan was nothing short of perfect, every little detail thought out— and you were entirely sure of it this time.
you had given suo a copy of your key ages ago, so that he could come in at anytime without you needing to be there. a second check of your phone’s messages has you mentally preparing yourself when you reread his “i’m coming~” text from exactly twenty minutes ago, and you smile to yourself. asking him to come by and babysit your cat while you went on a quick snack restock errand was the best excuse, and a part of you feels a little guilty for formulating such an intricate plan just to get a scare out of your boyfriend— but it had to be done.
the sound of suo’s key wiggles inside the doorknob, your breath hitching in your throat when you hear the lock switch just a few seconds after, followed by the eerie creaking noise that your door always seems to make.
“i’m here,” suo sings out to no one in particular, his usual smile etched onto his face as he takes a peek inside. dark, and empty. nothing unusual, not that he was expecting anything out of the ordinary in the first place.
as soon as he takes a step inside, he’s going to take off his shoes first, and you jump on the opportunity. you’re quick to lunge at him the second his thumb slips in his shoe, aiming to launch yourself into his middle and crush him in a suffocating hug. you don’t miss the way he tenses for a split second, eyes widening at the sudden movement— mind immediately flashing to his first thought…. an intruder?
he doesn’t recognize you at first, your figure reduced to a blur— and all he knows is that something is headed towards him. and fast. he’s moving on pure instinct, arm reaching for the closest thing to him at that moment: your arm.
you gasp when you realize just how agile your boyfriend really is. the truth is— you’ve never seen him fight, and he doesn’t really talk to you about it. he has a habit of leaving all the details out, and you don’t usually find yourself asking him about it after seeing the way he’s always coming out of fights unscathed. so sure. you knew he was probably pretty strong.
but you had no idea he was like this.
“w-wait!” you yelp when his foot comes to loop around your ankle, and you’re suddenly falling backwards. your hand desperately moves to catch onto something— anything to avoid falling onto the floor, so you grab a fistful of suo’s shirt.
he’s clenching his jaw in shock when you roughly yank him down with you, the familiar sound of your voice registering a second too late, because the two of you are crashing onto the ground a second later, suo’s weight knocking the wind out of your chest.
there’s a moment of silence as the two of you wince, your eyes fluttering open to meet with suo, looming over you with an expression you’ve never seen on him before. genuine concern … and what looks to be .. shock?
it takes you another moment to take note of the subtle warmth you’re feeling until you finally recognize it as suo’s hand that’s currently cradling the back of your head— and you’re at a loss as to exactly when or how he managed to do that in only a split second.
“i’m sorry,” suo chuckles sheepishly, “you got me this time. i really thought you were an intruder.”
“but did you hit your head? hard? are you okay?” he continues, other arm coming to pull you up and hold you against his chest. “tell me.”
“i think so,” you’re barely able to mumble, heat rushing to your cheeks at the realization that suo’s first thought wasn’t to cushion his own fall, but to protect your head instead. “not that hard though… i think. it doesn’t hurt very much.”
suo’s gaze on you is suddenly much more noticeable, and you’re tearing your eyes away from him a second later, sneaking glances back and forth as he continues to search for any signs of pain.
none that he notices, and the way your lips are pressed in a nervous line is a good sign, at least. suo lets out a relieved sigh before he’s smiling again, as if you hadn’t just spooked the sealed spirits out of him.
“let’s not do that again, okay?”
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KAJI REN.
you’ve never seen the night market this packed in your entire life.
it’s so busy that it’s almost suffocating, each breath taking double the effort from the way your body is being smothered between people as kaji leads you towards the food stands.
‘the best fried octopus you’ll ever try,’ your friend had said…but you’re seriously reevaluating you and kaji’s decision to come here— on the busiest night all summer to top it off.
it definitely wasn’t the best idea the two of you have come up with.
you’ve lost count of the amount of times you’ve said the words “excuse me!” and “sorry, getting through!” tonight. a part of you feels bad for your boyfriend— because you knew kaji was way worse off than you, the scowl on his face running the risk of being permanently etched onto his face from the sheer intensity of his glare. the grip he has on your wrist is tighter than ever before, trying his best to weave his way through the crowd without losing you.
kaji knows his mood is worsening each time someone bumps into him, and twice— or even three times as much when he feels someone bumping into you instead. he can feel the way your body roughly jerks back from the impact, and it was stressing him out more than he could imagine. the possibility of losing you and leaving you all alone in an aggressive crowd like this was the last thing he wanted.
he’s so lost in his thoughts that he doesn’t hear you call out his name the first time, or the second time. not even the third time. he doesn’t hear your voice trail off a bit when you mention that his grip is starting to hurt a little— to maybe hold hands instead.
he didn’t hear any of it.
kaji catches a glimpse of an emptier area, and he’s suddenly pulling harder at your wrist to lead you to it, not hearing you squeak out an “ouch, that hurts!”
and it hurts badly, warm tears welling up in your eyes as you struggle to try and keep up with him. it’s only when he suddenly jerks you around a corner that you’re tripping over the curb, stumbling and crashing into his back with a loud ‘ouch!’ that he finally turns to take a look at you.
kaji’s eyes are widening at the sight— your teary eyes peering up at him through wet lashes and your hand gingerly rubbing at your wrist. his words catch in his throat, barely able to sputter out an “are you.. okay?”
you shake your head quickly, lips tugging to a shaky frown. “you were hurting my wrist, kaji.”
his chest feels tight.
kaji is quick to bring your hand in his, gently cupping your hand as he looks at your wrist, and the guilt is flooding through him all at once. the thought of hurting you has him grimacing, feeling physically ill just thinking about it, and it’s not long before his mind is racing through all the scenarios.
he didn’t want to hurt you— and he doesn’t want to be someone you saw as ‘dangerous’ either. your wrist was so delicate, and it was a terrifying reminder of his strength— because he didn’t even realize that he was squeezing in the first place.
he truly had no idea.
“it’s okay,” your voice slices through the thick air, ripping him out of his thoughts, “i know you were stressed— it was scary over there.”
“i was scared too, kaji.”
the gentle smile you give him is the only thing that can bring him this much comfort, he thinks. it’s enough to clear his head, his heartbeat settling down, and he’s ripping another lollipop open before popping it in his mouth, turning and kneeling onto the floor.
“you can get on.”
even without his words, it’s a gesture you’re very familiar with— so you don’t hesitate for a second before climbing onto his back, arms circling around kaji as he lifts you up. there’s a subtle pink dusting the tips of his ears when you press a gentle kiss to his head, thanking him for carrying you.
“it’s not a problem,” he grumbles, voice coming out low as a futile attempt to hide the excited thump of his heart.
“get comfy up there, because we’re not leaving this damn market until we get a hold of that octopus.”
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NIREI AKIHIKO.
nirei swears that he had no idea that the pillow he had just thrown towards you a moment ago had buttons decorating the outside.
he really didn’t know, and of course it was the only pillow that happened to land right on your face.
“i’m so sorry! are you okay?” his voice comes out frantic as he rushes towards you, terrified eyes watching the way you rub your eye and groan in pain. this was terrible, he was terrible. pillows were never supposed to cause you any pain.
“it…it hit your eye? i’m so sorry,” he repeats, hands coming up to do something— wave around you in panic, because he’s not quite sure if he should touch you or leave you be. his hands hover just in front of your face, mind racing with potential ways he could help.
he jolts when you laugh a bit.
“you really picked the worst pillow,” your laugh comes out strained as you try and blink, vision spotted with dots from the hit you’ve taken. “…it’s okay though.”
it takes you a couple more seconds to see nirei clearly, and you can tell that he’s absolutely devastated with just one glance, nervous hands finally coming to grab at your shoulders, keeping you still so he can inspect your eye.
“let me see.”
he’s leaning in a bit, until his face is just a couple inches in front of yours. “i think um,” he squints a bit, ignoring the warmth rising to his cheeks from the proximity, “i think your eye looks fine.”
the guilt is still eating him alive. a part of him wishes that you had been the one to grab that pillow instead, because he’s certain he would have jumped on the opportunity to tank a hit from a buttoned pillow a thousand times before letting it hit you just once. straight in the eye. anywhere. it doesn’t matter to him.
“it probably is,” you give him a small smile, “but you still cheated. i won that fight.”
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SAKURA HARUKA.
“i-i didn’t know you were there!”
sakura’s a complete and utter mess, and he genuinely didn’t know any better. he didn’t hear you creeping up behind him, so when your arms suddenly wrapped around his middle, his reflex was to jab his elbow straight behind him— and it hit you square in the face.
he could feel his heart shatter into pieces when the sound of your yelp rang in his ears, jerking his body around only to see you stagger backwards, clutching your nose and peering up at him through those teary eyes.
sakura doesn’t know what to do. you’re sniffling now, your arms reaching out to hug him a second time, your voice barely coherent as you start babbling with a shaky voice, the only words he could recognize being “i deserve a hug for that.”
he’s a complete mess. he’s stiff when he lets you wrap your arms around his middle this time, face flushed with red at the simple touch and his heart hurting at the sound of you sniffling against his jacket, hand coming to wipe at the tears welling up in your eyes.
it’s impossible for him to not think of the worst— because he knows other guys wouldn’t be making this kind of mistake. his friends wouldn’t have elbowed you in the face in the first place. or at the very least, his friends would know how to comfort someone in this type of situation. he wants to kick himself for just standing there, words catching in his throat every time he tries and apologize.
“sorry…” your voice is quiet, but it’s enough to yank him out his thoughts. “i shouldn’t have scared you like that.”
it takes sakura a couple seconds before his mouth is falling at the apology. “huh?” he’s dumbfounded, hands coming to grab at your shoulders, “i should be apologizing!”
his face erupts in a furious blush when you giggle at his reaction, thumb coming to swipe at the tears that have spilled onto your cheeks. it’s only then when he tugs you back into a tight hug, hand cradling the back of your head to hold you flush against him.
he thinks it’s because he can’t stand to see you cry.
“o-oh?” you whisper against his chest. “this is new.”
sakura chooses to ignore your little remark, clenching his jaw as he glares at your wall, gaze locking on anything except you. “i should be sorry,” he repeats again, his voice barely coherent with the way he’s fighting against his blush, “so you should just … you know. tell me. when you want a hug..”
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TOGAME JO. (pet name: doll)
“that’s not right, doll,” togame coos from below you, lips tugging into an amused grin as he watches you struggle to master the self-defense moves that you asked him to teach you an hour ago. or maybe two. it’s normal for him to lose track of time when he’s with you anyway.
your boyfriend doesn’t seem to realize that you don’t have the same stamina he does. or the focus, because you can feel the heat rising in your cheeks again— unsure if it’s because you’re embarrassed of your confused attempts at grabbing him, or if it’s the fact that he’s so casually sprawled out underneath you.
“you listenin’?”
you perk up, followed by a delayed nod. a little too obvious, but he doesn’t say anything.
“you grab me here,” his voice is gentle, guiding your hands back to hover over his body, “and then you pull. remember?”
and you nod again. but the sound of his voice, slow and steady, paired with the way he’s lazily propped up on his elbows to look up at you through tired eyes has your mind spinning all over again, instructions already going out your other ear as you try again and take a large fistful of his sweatshirt.
“..like this?”
he hums, lips tugging into a smile. “that’s good, doll. now pull the way i showed you.”
and you do— or you try to. you tug with all your strength, but you can tell he hasn’t moved an inch. you can hear him hum in wonder above you, and that’s all it takes for your eyes to slam shut as you jerk and pull with all your strength— and you feel some movement for the first time tonight.
“wait…” togame interrupts, but you don’t stop, pulling and pulling— not realizing you’ve inched towards to very edge of your mattress. “wait— we’ll fall,” he repeats with a little more urgency.
it’s a second too late when you realize it, eyes shooting open the second gravity tips the balance, and you’re plummeting backwards with a shriek. togame’s twisting his body to catch you as fast as he can, but the frantic movement has his fist connecting with your cheek before he grabs a hold of you, yanking you upwards and into him.
“fuck,” you wince, rubbing your cheek with the back of your hand as you huff. “that hurt a bit..”
“sorry,” togame lulls, legs spread to have you seated right in front of him, “i was trying to catch you… didn’t mean to smack you like that. are you okay..?”
his hands come to cup your cheeks, tilting your head up to look at the him. the familiar heat in your cheeks returns as soon as you lock eyes with him, because he’s so close. you can feel his breath fan against your lips with the proximity.
and he’s looking right at you.
“‘m okay,” your voice is just above a whisper, “you barely even grazed me, anyway..”
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UMEMIYA HAJIME.
“when did you take that?!”
your arms shoot up to reach for ume’s phone, cheeks burning with embarrassment— because that had to be the most foul photo you’ve ever seen of yourself. the sound of your boyfriend erupting into the loudest laugh you’ve heard all day only has you seething— and he’s effortlessly holding his phone just out of your reach, as if to taunt you even further.
“you don’t need to know,” he grins widely, watching the way you shift your weight onto your toes in a futile attempt to reach his phone. “and it’s cute! you don’t think so?”
“give it!” you hiss, and you lunge forward to start pulling at the arm that has the phone, “i’m deleting it!”
“no way,” he retorts with a huff, but you’re pulling his sleeve with your full strength, and it catches ume off guard a bit, foot stumbling forward a step. he’s never seen you pull with all your might— so he just wasn’t expecting it.
you’re lunging again before he’s regained his balance, and he shifts his weight backwards, lower back colliding with the table behind him. his phone slips from his grip too fast for either of you to react, and it lands on your nose with a sickening thud.
his laughter vanishes as soon as you’re letting out a pained yelp, hands coming to clutch your nose, squeezing the bridge to ease the pain.
“ow….” you whimper, voice cracking a bit as tears start to flood your lash line. his heart breaks in two when he sees you sniffle, desperately blinking away the tears that threaten to spill as you check your hand.
no blood. just a lot of pain.
“i’m so sorry,” he’s hovering over you within a second, nervous arms fluttering just above your frame— because he hasn’t quite figured out what to do, and you look so fragile like this. he just doesn’t want to break you.
“..are you okay?” he breaks the silence, “let me see you.”
your face is buried in your hands when ume kneels in front of you, hands coming to gently tug at your wrists so you can look at him. “i’m sorry,” he repeats even quieter, worry flooding his expression when you tear your gaze away from him.
it’s your attempt at trying to get rid of the tears threatening to spill, but he doesn’t know know that. his lips are tugging into a deep frown, eyes filled with worry as he tries to get you to just look at him again.
“look at me, okay?” he whispers, “let me see.”
a deep inhale, and you’re trying to make your voice come out steady again. “i think..i think it’s okay.”
your eyebrows furrow. “you klutz…”
the relief in his face is almost too obvious. he’s taking a sharp inhale, opening his arms to urge you to come for a hug. “i know,” he chuckles, “are you sure? you’re okay?”
you give ume a nod, ignoring the throbbing in your nose as your arms wrap around him, holding him close against you. “i think i’ll be okay if you delete that.”
“no way,” he retorts, relieved that you're at least not crying anymore. "but i'll give you cuddles. deal?"
he's pulling you tighter against him before you even give him your answer, and his shoulders relax a bit when you finally nestle into his arms, leaning into his hold with a soft smile and a throbbing nose.
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writersblockedx · 3 months
Text
A Rekindled Kind of Love
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Pairing - Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader Summary - Spencer and Y/n hadn't talked since the Summer before college and then he sees her name as the only survivor in their latest serial killer case. Warning - violence, drinking Words - 3.6K
A/n - It's be a while! I've had a surge of inspiration lately since becoming a little obsessed with character ai lol and thought to write this one into a little one-shot.
masterlist
Spencer was lying if he ever called any day at the BAU normal. Between serial killers, sadists, and everything else in between, the boy had a blurred definition of normal. So, he expected anything - or so he thought. When he entered the meeting room that morning, he hadn't expected the name of Y/N Y/L/N to pop up.
"We've got three victims and, weirdly, one survivor." Garcia started to explain, clicking through the victim's dead bodies, the woman squirming at just a glance of the photos. "Whoever this sicko is, he's going after journalists. His latest victim, Y/n Y/l/n, was actually able to get away before he had a chance to kill her."
Spencer stopped. His gaze snapped up as Garcia clicked once more and he caught sight of the girl he once knew. Only now was she older, and her expression was stern. The unsub had left her features tainted, early bruises and several cuts littering over her. "She's pretty distraught says doctors, but she's alive and well."
He couldn't stop staring at her, memories of high school, of that last summer, of their blissfully ignorant friendship fueling his feelings. This was not normal. None of what he felt was normal - not for him away. "He stabs them?" Emily observed, all of the team had yet to clock onto the haze Spencer had suddenly found himself in.
Garcia hummed, "Yep, as many times as it takes before they...you know...die."
"He's aggressive, he's got no remorse for these victims," JJ spoke, glancing between her file at the screen in front of her.
"Not only are they all journalists, but they're female journalists too." Rossi added. "There's got to be some reason for that too."
Hotch nodded, "Either way, we should take Y/n into our care. She's the first to get away, I doubt he's happy about that-"
The shaggy-haired boy couldn't seem to take it. The way Y/n had gotten herself mixed in like she was any other victim, like she wasn't once the most important person in Spencer's life. "Excuse me," The boy stood abruptly, not giving any reasoning to the team before he practically ran out, gasping for breath.
The team were left with nothing. Their expressions moulding into ones of confusion, and puzzlement, "What's up with him?" Morgan was the first to question. But it was only met with the same uncertain expressions and a shrug from Hotch.
Morgan took it upon himself to stand, following Spencer out into the adjacent hallway where Spencer was panic pacing. A hand swooped through his hair as his thoughts raced. "Hey, kid, slow down," Morgan soothed. He hadn't realised the arrival of Derek until he spoke. Spencer turned, swallowing the lump which had since grown in his throat. "The hells going on with you?"
He took a breath. He evened his lungs and took a moment before confiding, "I- erm- I know her, Y/n Y/l/n, the survivor." He explained and that was enough for Morgan to understand. "Well, I suppose I knew her, we lost contact when we went to college, but we had been friends."
Morgan gazed back into the meeting room, "Reid, it's okay. She's okay, you know? She survived."
His head shook, "It doesn't matter. You heard Hotch, she's still a target." She wasn't safe and that fact was only nagging at Spencer.
"Alright, alright, how about I talk to Hotch? We'll go to the hospital, you make sure she's okay yourself?" Reid had barely agreed before Morgan walked back into that meeting room.
Of course, he wanted to make sure she was okay. But that also meant seeing her, after all these years. Spencer didn't know what had changed - if anything had. And he didn't know which option was scarier. Either way, he soon found himself at the hospital, waiting at the reception desk as a doctor went to find her.
His feet were tapping, his nerves obvious to Morgan. "Reid, calm down, she's gonna be alright," He said, but no words from Morgan or a doctor was going to help. He needed to see her.
"It's not just that I'm worried about." What if everything had changed? What if nothing had? What if-
He turned and found his eyes on her. She still had that same look. That same smile, the same soft gaze, the same ease about her that Spencer craved. But this was the very moment he feared.
She wandered up to him, quickening her pace as much as she was able to considering her state. "Spencer," She said his name like a sigh of relief. Before he realised it, her arms were wrapped around his neck, melting into his touch as if no time had passed.
"Hi," He breathed into her ear; she was safe. The hug didn't last long enough. How could it? They had 12 years of missed hugs.
"I can't believe you're here, the doctor said a profiler and then said it was Doctor Reid and I-" She trailed on, "I don't know why I was so surprised. Of course, you made it big."
Spencer shrugged, "I wouldn't call this big." The boy became sheepish, almost flushed and Derek Morgan had certainly taken notice. "I'm sorry I stopped calling and I should have-"
"Oh, Spence, save it," She chuckled lightly, "I could have picked up that phone just as well as you had. I just wish we could have met under different circumstances."
He nodded, "Yeah, well about that," Spencer turned to bring Derek into the conversation, "This is Agent Morgan, he's erm gonna help."
Morgan sent his usual cheeky smirk as he did with any pretty lady, "It's good to meet you, sweetheart. Glad to hear you're feeling better too."
Spencer hadn't expected anything less from the man. "Look, I don't know if the doctor explained it to you, but we're under the belief that this unsub may still be targeting you."
"Unsub?" She reiterated.
"The killer that went after you." Morgan answered, "Unknown subject, unsub for short."
"We erm- we have to take you in, make sure you're safe kind of thing," Spencer explained, fidgeting with his fingers as she glanced between them and the girl in front of her.
Her pupils grew worrisome, "You think I'm still in danger?"
Spencer hated that word. Even the thought of Y/n in danger made his spine shiver. "You're the first to get away, we erm- we don't think he'll be very happy about it. He could lash out, many unsubs, new unsubs especially, a victim getting away could be like a double stressor, he could be on a rampage, he could be doing nothing but think about getting to you." He realised he was rambling and his words were only worrying the girl more, "Sorry, I just, I want to make sure you're safe."
But Y/n understood, "It's alright, Spence. I'll go grab my things."
With that, a rush filled the girl as she turned her back on the two agents, wandering back into the hospital room she had come from. Spencer's eyes hadn't left from where her figure was once standing. This was personal for him - even if he hadn't seen the girl for years now. "She's not just someone from high school, is she?" Morgan realised as he observed Spencer.
He turned to him as if he had just left the trail of thoughts in his mind, "Hm?" He turned back to look at Morgan.
His response had only made Morgan smile, "Y/n, she seems more to you than that."
"It was..." The boy thought back to it, to that Summer, he didn't know how else to describe it, what they had, her. "Complicated."
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
12 Years Prior, Las Vegas
Y/n always had something Spener didn't: Popularity. Well, in a way. Spencer was cast away from many of his peers. A social reject. While, Y/n was a social butterfly of sorts. She took to a crowd with ease. The type of girl that could make friends with anyone.
The boy had certainly hit the jackpot when he was assigned to tutor her. Over the course of several sessions, they had bonded over literature, future college plans and, surprisingly, Y/n's distaste to certain 'jocks' - as the social hierarchy liked to describe them as.
She was the only reason Spencer turned up to the end of year house party. Crowds weren't his thing, drinking neither. But she...she was worth it.
"Spencer!" The girl gleamed as he wandered into the house. 
He didn't belong at all. His shoulders were stiff, his glasses at the edge of his nose. But, despite such, Y/n still took him into a longing hug. "H- Hi." He greeted, his eyes flickering all over the place. From the demolished kitchen to the living room where drunken teens were dancing on top of couches and coffee tables.
Her brow raised, "Come on, we'll get you a drink." Her hand slipped into his, bringing the boy back to his attention: her. "You do drink right?" She checked as she guided him towards said demolished kitchen.
"Erm, not a heavy drinker but, sure I can have one."
"You sure?" She spoke ever so softly, "You know you don't have to."
"Just one." He offered her a smile.
She grasped a few bottles: vodka, rum, tequila. "Pick your poison."
Spencer had simply shrugged, a chuckle at the tip of his tongue, "I'll have whatever you're having."
"Rum it is!"
She poured the two the same drink - almost half liquor, half mixer. Spencer coughed when he swallowed, causing the girl to giggle, "Too much?"
But Spencer simply shook his head, "Just perfect," He almost joked as he leaned onto the kitchen counter next to the girl, "I almost didn't come," He admitted.
"I don't blame you," He gazed down at her answer, his expression urging her to add some context. "Ashley James puked up after two drinks, Kacy and Liam broke up, now Liam's making out with Polly. It's just...a mess." Her eyes rolled. "But then again, what was I expecting?"
Spencer smiled at her. She was good at knowing like everything. While he was filled with facts and statistics, Y/n knew everything about everyone. Within one look, she knew your secrets. Maybe that's why she was so good with people. "We can go somewhere else if you want?" He suggested.
His question brought along an idea for the girl. With her free hand, she took Spencer's and led him out into the back garden. Whoever lived here was almost rich. Well, rich enough for a pool and a pretty big outdoor area. "Come on," Y/n urged him as she pulled the boy towards the edge of the pool.
She slipped her shoes off, sitting down and letting her legs dangle into the fresh water. Spencer watched her for a moment before joining her, the two sipping on their drinks. "Better?" She asked him.
He nodded, "Much."
"At least we've got Summer now, no more being forced to see them assholes." She joked.
Spencer's brows narrowed in thought, "You mean the assholes that you were friends with until you met me?"
"Well you got me there, Spence." She shrugged, "Social survival, that's what I call it. It's not as if there won't be similar people in college. I mean, fucking sororities, semi-pro football leagues, frats?"
"I'm sure you'll fit in amazingly at Princeton." His smile seemed to falter at his own words.
She gazed at the boy who seemed captivated by the slowly swaying water below them, "We'll still call you know, text, just cause we're in different places, doesn't mean anything, Spencer." Y/n attempted to comfort him.
"That's what everyone says but, I don't know." He shook his head, ignoring a thought.
But she noticed it; she noticed everything, "But what?"
He huffed and stared over at her, his eyes pooling in admiration. "You're one of the best things to have happened to me in a long time you know," He offered her a smile, "I couldn't even imagine losing you."
The girl bit her lip. Something was on her mind and Spencer had noticed. He too noticed everything about her. But he didn't ask. Partly, because he didn't have the chance to. Her eyes flickered to his lips. Then to his eyes. And before Spencer could realise, she had leant in, her lips at his. Without even realising, she had changed everything for the boy.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
Spencer accompanied the woman towards a private, interview room. He would offer support and comfort but at the same time, he had a job to do. A part of that was questioning. She was the only person to know this unsub. As difficult as it would be for her, he would have to ask them questions.
"Hey," Emily spoke as he entered the room, two coffees in hand: one for Spencer and one for Y/n. "Coffee orders are here," She smiled as she placed them at the table between the two. "I'm Emily, Reid says you're an old friend."
Her eyes flickered to the man before she shook Emily's hand, "Something like that yeah."
"Well, we're here if you need anything, alright?" She said, "You're in good hands here, especially with our Doctor Reid."
With that, Emily left to join the rest of the team who were busy compiling a profile. Which left her and Spencer. This was the part he wasn't looking forward to. "I've erm, I've got to ask you some questions, it'll help us understand this unsub, help us find him." He explained. When she nodded, the boy continued, "I'm going to ask you to close your eyes, alright? And then I'm just going to go through the night you were attacked. Is that okay?"
She swallowed the lump which had grown in her throat, "Yeah," She muttered.
Y/n followed the instructions and let her eyelids close before Spencer started the exercise, "Okay, just go back to that night. You were on 9th Street, correct?"
"Yes."
"It was getting late, but it was summer, think about the air, was it still warm? What sort of things could hear, anything?"
She thought back to it. Y/n had just finished her work week, she was walking home from the Subway. "There's a group of girls on the other side of the road, they're giggling. Drunk, I assume."
"That's good, that's really good." Spencer praised, "Then when did you realise something was off?"
Her brows furrowed and she thought about it, the pit in her stomach growing, "Someone- someone was yelling. A man. I thought he was like bible bashing so I wasn't paying much attention to what he was saying."
"Think." Spencer jumped in, "Listen to him, pick any words, any phrases that stick out to you."
And she did so. Her mind ran through the memory, "Something, something about an agenda, the- the snowflake agenda? It's ruining America it's-" She cut herself off as the memory reached the worst part. "That's when he grabbed me." Her voice quickened, her breaths soon becoming uneven. "He had a knife to my neck- he pulled me to an ally. I- Spencer."
Her hand reached out over the table instinctively, "It's okay," He too had become panicked just seeing her's. "I'm here, it's over, you can open your eyes."
When she finally did, she took one breath. A sigh of relief that she was okay. And then, a single tear dropped from her eyeline. Spencer couldn't take it. He stood and she followed suit, "Come here," He spoke before taking her into a tight hug. "You're safe, I promise." 
She pulled away just slightly but never dared to break touch, "The only reason I got away was because I had pepper spray in my bag," She explained. 
Spencer thought on that and then an idea came to mind. "Come with me," The boy took a hold of her hand, guiding the girl through the bullpen towards the meeting room where the rest of the team had been.
The round table was scattered with files and papers. Garcia typed away at her laptop while the rest were debriefing. At the entrance of the pair, they glanced up. 
Before they could ask any questions, Spencer started rambling, never daring to let go of Y/n's hand. "The unsub was protesting on the street, he's some kind of right-wing enthusiast. He was going on about the left-wing 'agenda', about how it's ruining America." He explained. "Not only that, but Y/n used pepper spray on him."
Like that, they had something, "He would have had to go to the hospital?" JJ thought.
"Or at least bought some kind of medical supplies."
"Yeah, saline wipes or there's a nasal spray that helps the pain." Spencer went on to explain.
From there, Hotch turned to Garcia, "Cross check avid right-wing protesters in the D.C. areas, men with low criminal offences, things like hate crime. Then look at anyone whose been admitted for treatment of pepper spray or has bought any medical supplies to treat it."
Like that, the aggressive typing ensued. The team were all waiting, Y/n still at Spencer's side, anxious for the name of her attacker to be revealed. "I've got it, Tony Jones."
When Hotch stood from his chair, the rest of the team started to follow. "Send us the address, Garcia."
"Already done it, Sir."
Each of the team members stood, one by one walking passed Y/n. That was apart from Garcia who was still glued to her laptop, sending the address to the rest of the team. Spencer was about to turn when Y/n reached for the boy's hand once again. Her eyes filled with nothing but worry. "Do you have to go?"
Her question had made his heart ache. His eyes flickered to Garcia who was already glancing at the two, "I- I probably should but, but Garcia will stay with you." He offered.
Y/n looked back at the extravagant woman who was smiling, "Of course, I've got loads of things I can show you in my office!" She gleamed.
Y/n returned the smile before turning back to Spencer, "You'll be careful, right?"
The boy nodded, "Of course," He replied before taking her in his arms once again. But this time, when he pulled away ever so slightly, it was to place a gentle kiss to her forehead.
And like that, a soft smile, a goodbye, was passed between the two before Spencer turned away to join the rest of the team. She stared out the door of the conference room until Spencer slipped away. From there, she turned, a weak smile given to Garcia as she came to join her at the round table.
The other woman had watched the interaction and, while she wasn't a profiler, she wasn't oblivious to the world of loving. "He really cares about you, doesn't he?" She asked. Though, Garcia already knew the answer.
"I care about him just as much," Even after all this time, a piece of her heart still belonged to Spencer Reid - it always would.
"You're not just an old friend, are you?"
Y/n swallowed, glimmers of that high school Summer filling her brain. "It was, complicated." She described. "We erm, only really had a Summer as..." How could she describe it? "More than friends, I guess. And then we were both shipped off to college. And I mean, we lost contact. As a lot of people do." And 12 years later here she was.
Garcia offered her a smile, "You still love him, don't you?"
The girl giggled but gave a nod, "I don't think I ever stopped."
"Well, if my time with Doctor Reid has taught me anything, the way he is with you, I mean it's like no other." Her hand brushed at her shoulder gently, "I don't think your feeling is one-sided."
That would stick in her head for the next hour. While Spencer and the rest of the team were arresting Tony Jones, Garcia was giving the girl a tour of her office. Everything wonderful and weird. And while she tried her best to pay attention, her mind kept being dragged over to Spencer. If he was safe, if he was coming back...if, once again, everything had changed.
She knew one thing: she would make sure they didn't lose contact this time around.
When the boy finally returned, he practically rushed through the BAU to find her. She was at Garcia's side as they exited her office, "Y/n," He called.
The girl's head snapped to him, her pace quickening as she came to reach him, "Did you?"
He nodded, "He's at the station, don't worry." He assured.
"Oh, good, yeah," She spoke before a sigh fell from her lips. "So, I mean, what happens now? Do I just go home?" The idea of such, while stupid to think so, was almost disappointing. Going home meant she wasn't in Spencer's company any longer. And that wasn't something she wasn't to lose just yet.
But Spencer's reaction was a similar one, "I can walk you home, if you want of course."
Her smile grew, "I'd like that."
"I'll just erm," He gestured to his FBI vest, "I'll only be a second."
And so she watched him leave for barely a minute, coming back in his shirt. He took her hand, led her into the lift and pressed for the ground floor. A moment of silence. A moment of thought. One of which was urgring Y/n on.
She glanced over at the boy, "You know I always think everything happens for a reason." Her nerves suddenly flooded her body as she realised what she was about to admit, "And as much as getting jumped was not fun, I'm glad it brought me back to you, Spencer."
Y/n turned to face him, barely any space between them, "I missed you."
"I missed you too, Spence."
With that, Y/n made the leap. She closed that gap, their lips meeting every so soft, ever so longing. Like they had both been waiting for this moment for 12 years. And when they pulled away, her hands cupping his face and his placed at her waist, it was like they were 18 again. "Promise we'll keep in contact now?" He almost joked.
And she chuckled, "Promise."
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shockercoco · 5 months
Text
Cheer Up
Art Donaldson x reader
Warnings - 18+, smut, fingering, dirty talk, orgasm denial
Word count - 1135
a/n - I watched Challengers a couple days ago, and it's safe to say I’m a mike faist supporter lol. Also I kind of just skimmed through this so ignore the errors. I hope you enjoy :)
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You haven’t been having the best week, and losing a match today to an opponent who you clearly should’ve beat didn’t help at all. Your irritation didn’t go unnoticed by Art either, but he decided to leave you alone in hopes you would calm down.
Art could see the anger radiating off of you from his seat in the stands as you walked off the court after the game. You were pretty much silent for the ride back to the hotel and still once you got into the room. You took a shower in hopes that it would ease the tension in your body, and it did, but not enough. 
Sitting on the couch in front of the tv, you opened your laptop to watch the playback of today's game. This is something you did after every match to help you become a better player, but if you were to ask Art, he would just say that you were torturing yourself.
You were so into the video playing on your laptop that you didn’t notice Art entering the room until you felt him sit down next to you, resting an arm on top of the couch behind him.
“You’ve been sitting here watching yourself for hours, don’t you think it would be better to just close this and relax,” Art says as he dips his head down to try to get you to look at him, but you ignore him and keep your eyes on the screen.
“This is me relaxing,” you tell him.
“You know what I mean,” he says.
“Well this is what I want to do, so if you could leave me alone that would be great,” you turn to give Art a sarcastic smile before looking back at the laptop. He rolls his eyes at your attitude.
“How long are you going to be in this bitchy mood?” he asks, and you just shrug in response. Luckily for you, he knows just how to
You thought he would just leave you given the fact that you clearly don’t want to talk, but he stays in his spot next to you. Suddenly you feel Art grab the laptop from your lap and lean forward to place it on the coffee table in front of you, causing your eyebrows to furrow.
“What are you doing?” you ask, watching him.
“Helping you relax,” he says as he turns his attention back to you and dips his head down to start placing kisses on the side of your neck and up to your ear. 
“Art-,” you begin, but you cut yourself off when you feel a moan rising in your throat. Once you feel like you’ve composed yourself you say, “I’m busy.”
“Then tell me to stop,” he whispers in your ear before attaching his lips back to your neck, causing a shiver to run down your spine. 
He places his hand on your thigh and trails it up until he reaches the fabric of your panties. Lucky for him you just like to sleep in underwear and a shirt. He begins to lightly rub you through your panties, not adding any pressure on purpose. Your eyes drift to your laptop on the table that’s still open and playing.
“This isn’t the time,” you say breathlessly as you naturally buck your hips.
He hums in response, waiting for you to tell him to stop, but it doesn’t come. He dips his hand into your panties and runs his finger up and down your slit through the arousal that has started to leak out of you, circling your entrance before moving up to your clit, and this time adding pressure.
“You’ve had this little attitude all week, and I think it’s time that it goes away,” he says in your ear, then leans back to get a look at your face as he pushes a finger into you. “What do you think?”
Your mouth falls slightly ajar as you let out a small moan, but no answer. The video may be playing, but the screen has turned into a blur.
“What, nothing to say? You sure did have something to say these past couple of days,” Art fake pouts with a tilt of his head. “If this is what you needed all along, why didn’t you just say something?”
He then inserts another finger and watches as you fall apart as he curls his fingers inside of you. You move one of your hands up to grip the armrest as your eyes close and your body leans back against the couch.
“I mean this is what you wanted, right? For me to fill you up and make all your worries just disappear?” he questions with a smirk. 
Art feels your walls clench around him at his words as he continues his measured pace with his fingers.
“An answer would be nice,” he states, his tone a little more firm. You shake your head no, but that isn’t enough for art. “No, say it out loud.”
“No,” you manage with a whine.
“No? Are you sure because the way you just gave in so easily tells me otherwise,” Art fake pouts. “It’s not like I have a problem with it, though. After all, I get to be inside you,” he smirks at you.
All you can do is moan as he increases the speed of his fingers. Your legs start to involuntarily close, but you hear him tell you no, so you listen and force them back open. You feel yourself coming closer and closer to your orgasm with each thrust of his fingers, and Art notices too by the way your whimpers and whines become more consistent. 
Right when you feel yourself about to tumble over the edge, Art quickly pulls his fingers out of you and out of your panties, causing you to gasp and your walls to clench around nothing. You finally open your eyes and look at Art, who still has the stupid smirk on his face.
“What are you doing?” you ask in confusion and irritation, and he just laughs at you.
“You were the one that said this wasn’t the time,” he tells you as he licks the fingers that were inside you only a moment ago.
“Are you fucking serious right now?” 
“Are you fucking serious right now?” he repeats with his eyebrows raised. Art begins to stand up, leaving you more tense than before. He motions to your laptop still playing the video from your tennis match and says, “I don’t want to bother you, so I’ll let you go back to what you were doing. Come find me when you’re done.”
You watch with an open mouth as Art walks out of the room with a smile and heads into the bedroom, not giving you a second look.
Part 2 out now!
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gilbertscurls · 8 days
Text
Pillow Wall ➵ Chris Sturniolo
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The night had been a blur of whispered conversations, laughter, and movie marathons. You and Chris had always been close, but this—this was new. The boundary between your friendship and something more had been blurring for a while now, but neither of you had dared to acknowledge it.
You sat on Chris' bed, surrounded by an avalanche of blankets and pillows. You tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, your eyes darting over to Chris, who was scrolling through Netflix absentmindedly. You were doing your best to ignore the awkward tension that had settled between you the moment you realized the night had gotten late—too late for you to drive home.
“Guess we’re stuck with the classic 'two friends sharing a bed' dilemma,” Chris joked, but there was a nervous edge to his voice. He tossed the remote aside, letting it land somewhere among the chaos of pillows.
You chuckled, trying to lighten the mood. “Yeah, wouldn’t want to cross any lines, huh?”
Chris smirked, grabbing one of the pillows and dropping it in the middle of the bed. “Easy solution. We build a wall.”
“A pillow wall?” You raised a brow, but the idea made you grin.
“Exactly,” Chris said, already arranging more pillows between you. “That way, no accidental cuddling or whatever.”
“Ah, yes. Brilliant plan,” you teased, adding a few more pillows to the barrier. The wall grew higher, and when it was done, it was a comically lopsided fortress between you.
“Perfect,” Chris declared, lying back on his side of the bed. “Now we’re safe.”
“Totally safe,” you echoed, lying back as well. You stared at the ceiling for a moment, the silence comfortable, but the awareness of each other’s presence just on the other side of the pillow wall was impossible to ignore.
You both tried your best to sleep, but every time you shifted, you could hear Chris doing the same. It was ridiculous, really, how much space you had in the bed, and yet it still felt impossibly small.
Minutes turned into hours, and at some point, your eyes fluttered shut. You fell into a restless sleep, your thoughts still lingering on Chris—how close you were, how easy it would be to reach across the pillows.
When you woke up, the first thing you noticed was warmth. More specifically, Chris' warmth. The pillow wall, once so carefully constructed, was now half-destroyed, some pillows having fallen to the floor during the night. And somehow, you had both ended up tangled in each other.
Chris’ arm was draped across your waist, and your head rested against his chest. You blinked, your mind slowly registering the fact that you had both gravitated toward each other in your sleep, despite the supposed “barrier.”
For a second, you thought about pulling away, about untangling yourself before Chris woke up. But something stopped you. Lying there, wrapped up in the quiet comfort of him, felt too right.
Just as you were debating what to do, Chris stirred, his grip on you tightening slightly as he woke. He froze for a moment, clearly realizing what had happened, and then he groaned softly, half-amused, half-embarrassed.
“So much for the pillow wall,” he murmured, his voice still thick with sleep.
You smiled, your face still pressed against his chest. “Yeah, it didn’t work out too well, huh?”
He chuckled softly, but neither of you moved. The awkwardness from the night before had disappeared, replaced by something softer—something neither of you had the words for yet.
“You comfortable?” he asked after a moment, his voice gentler than you were used to hearing from him.
You nodded. “Yeah. You?”
“Yeah,” he said, his breath warm against the top of your head. “I’m good.”
You lay there in silence for a little while longer, neither of you feeling the need to break away. Maybe you’d talk about it later—what this meant, what it might turn into—but for now, you were content just being close, pillow wall forgotten.
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tag list: @stuwniolo, @sturnobsessedwh0re, @matts-myloverboy, @imjusthereforthesturniolosmut, @lizzymacdonald06
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Text
It's a Match! || poly!141 x Reader
[Chapter 22] || [Chapter 23]
Rating: E Pairing: Ghost x Price || Price x Reader || 141 x gn!Reader Words: 500~ cw: angst, selfish john price, thinking of someone else while fucking (mental cheating? idk) Summary: While overcoming recent heartbreak, you decide to join Tinder in search of a rebound. Your friends advise to just Swipe Right indiscriminately... What happens when 4 soldiers from the same squad match with you? a/n: this is angsty. this is NOT gonna please some of you. john is a selfish man.
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Chapter 22.5: Cardiff, London, Cairo, Cabo, Tel Aviv.
John doesn’t know how it happened.
One moment he’s leaving, the next he’s on top of you on the bed.
You’re whining needily as he slowly rolls his hips against yours like it’s the first time.
You’re lying on your back, your legs are spread on either side of him, your ass propped up on his thighs as he kneels on the mattress.
“You’re so beautiful on your back like this, fuckin’ ‘ell…” John murmurs as he pulls you up to him, one hand snug around the small of your back, the other around your shoulders.
Your chest presses tight against him while your feet struggle to find a perch on the slippery edge of the mattress, your arms wrapped tight around his shoulder, hoping your weight doesn’t make him lose balance.
His lower arm rocks you back and forth on his cock, drawing more mewls of pleasure from your lips before he captures your mouth in his, your tongues blurring together.
For a moment he’s not in Hereford, in your flat.
For a moment, there’s a piercing poking his tongue, and another set of them rubbing against his lower belly, threatening to catch on his happy trail of hair.
For a moment he’s in Simon’s apartment in Cardiff.
For a moment he’s on a rainy rooftop in London, doing a stakeout on an armed militia leader.
For a moment he’s in Cairo, in a sandy warehouse, dead bodies around them, after stopping an arms deal.
For a moment he’s in Cabo, South Africa, sneaking back into a sex trafficking cell safehouse after it had been emptied, under the guise of ‘checking it over one last time’.
For a moment he’s in Tel Aviv, having prevented a missile launch that almost cost both their lives.
Cardiff, London, Cairo, Cabo, or Tel Aviv…
He’s always fucked Simon like this. His pants just barely undone, Simon perched up on his lap, rocking back and forth on his cock, his moans being quieted by a tongue down his throat.
The only difference is that they’re usually huddled together in a corner of a room, so that no one spots it…
And not in the middle of a bed, in a comfortable, cosy, homey flat, where the only thing keeping you from serving as a counterbalance and landing you both on the mattress again is John’s sheer strength.
Tossing you down onto the mattress again, he breaks the kiss and rubs his open mouth across your cheek, down your jawline, and onto your neck. “So good f’r me.” He whispers in your ear.
You’re not Simon…
But you definitely make Simon happy.
He saw it in his eyes.
You make Simon happy in a way John never quite could.
And he makes you happy too…
John knows he’s not exactly a selfless man. He’s quite selfish, in fact.
But you’ve just extended him an opportunity to join you in making Simon happy.
And he’s bloody taking it.
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taglist (CLOSED! not adding anyone else, sorry!):
@daisychainsinknots , @bunnysdaydreams , @iite-cool , @lahniu , @pagesfalling , @tapioca-milktea1978 , @live-love-be-unique , @thelaisydazy , @littleghosthunter , @bossva , @emotion-no-hot-yes-hotel-trivago , @chamomiletealeaf , @ghosts-hoe , @kariiiel , @ltbarnes , @irregulardongyoung , @spacelia , @hayleybarnesx , @infpt-zylith , @xxshadowbabexx , @frescoisnotinthemilitary , @leeeenistop , @lucienbarkbark
@severenswife , @enarien, @agoodmoviekiss , @l0lziez , @whos-fran , @greatstormcat , @openup-yourmind , @neoarchipelago , @sodavrr , @cutiecusp , @lilliumrorum , @c-nstantine , @kneelforloki , @comeonatmebruh , @codsunshine , @waiting-so-long , @captainquake42 , @gazspookiebear , @mynameismisty , @reap3erslov3 , @reaper-chan666 , @poohkie90 , @kitwithnokat , @stick-the-dumbass , @mothsdrabbles , @justanerd1 , @thesinsoflust , @thriving-n-jiving , @blckbrrybasket
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fic-over-cannon · 1 month
Text
Sweetheart
inspired by @sanguineterrain’s hc about virgin! jason which truly has not left my mind since i read it.
rated explicit (mdni) | wc: 2.6k
tags: kissing, masturbation, loss of virginity, vaginal sex, creampie, overstimulation
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Jason Todd’s just so goddamn sensitive, nerves set on a hair trigger, all the time. Call it a side effect of death or a fun little bonus from resurrection. Wherever it came from, it’s just part of his life now. And, see, normally it’s not a problem. In fact, it probably makes him better at this whole crime lord business. The slightest change in the airflow of a room tipping him off to an unseen assailant, the tremors traveling up the balls of his feet signalling an approaching vehicle, palm wrapped around a throat able to read a lie from a racing pulse. He’s adaptable like that, turning something that might have overwhelmed him into a weapon. It’s really not a problem.
Just like it’s not a problem that he’s never really been in love before. Between dying, then not dying, and an abrupt and burgeoning career in crime, well, dating hasn’t been very high on his list of priorities. It’s fine! So maybe he fucks his fist after a long night of patrol and wishes it were someone he was coming home to. He’s got more pressing things to worry about, important things. Red Hood things. His half-hidden fantasies and dog-eared classic romances can stay hidden under his bed forever, for all he cares.
He cares. Did he say he didn’t care? Well obviously that was a big fat lie. Jason nearly mows you down running across the park and the minute his hands close around your arms to steady you, he’s a goner. Heart eyes and tweety birds, the whole nine yards. Being in love with you’s the easiest thing Jason’s ever done. Maybe his hands shake a little more than they should the first time you ask him to dinner. Maybe he blurs the line between creepy and sweet by showing up at your doorstep with flowers less than 12 hours after your first date. He’s just new at this, that’s all. First time jitters.
There’s a lot of firsts, when it comes to you. The first time you hold his hand, he feels the the tips of his ears go hot. You kiss him on the cheek and he could swear NASA can see the colour of his cheeks from space. The very first time he kisses you – goodnight at your doorstep, meant to be chaste and brief – he’s half-hard in his pants the second he feels your breath on his skin. It’s a miracle, a sheer testament to all his will and training, that he doesn’t come in his pants on your doorstep at the taste of you.
Okay, so there’s some kinks he has to work out. He’s told you that he’s inexperienced. Well, more than inexperienced. A virgin, if you want to get all technical about it. You had smiled and told him the two of you could take it slow if he wanted. Which he didn’t. Want it slow, that is. That leads him to a new and persistent obsession with making it good for you, despite his current track record. Before you, the goal of getting off was efficiency. Hand slick and a few harsh tugs enough to have him spilling into a tissue. But that was before. He’s got a goal and a plan and Jason’s always been good with an objective.
He settles in and makes a mental note to get more lube. Gets his hand firm around his shaft because he knows, just knows, that the minute he starts teasing the head of his cock it’ll be over. Gives himself a few looser strokes just to get used to the sensation, gun callous catching on his foreskin and sending a frisson of pleasure up his spine. He watches his stomach muscles ripple and clench in retaliation. Begins to work his hand a little faster, adding a rough twist to each stroke that has him panting for breath. Pre starts beading at the tip of his cock and he swipes an errant thumb at it. He bucks and nearly moans at the sensation, the rough heated pad of his thumb setting his nerves on fire. Throws his head back eyes closed as his he increases the pace, lost to the burning heat building in his belly. He pictures your face smiling up at him on a particularly tight swipe over the head of his cock and comes harder than he ever has before, hot spurts decorating his stomach. His stopwatch reads 0:1:37. With a grunt, he reaches for his cock again.
By the time morning comes, far too soon and far too bright, Jason’s managed to increase his time. Not by much, but hey, that’s still progress in his book. He’s also discovered two new things about himself: 1) with just the right pressure he can stay hard between orgasms (hooray for illegal and mystical stimulant baths!), and 2) the image of you is more than enough to shove him over the edge, every single time. Fact number two may be a problem. ‘Cause if just the thought of you has him creaming in his pants like a pimply teen in a stiff breeze, having you under him in the flesh might actually kill him. It’s okay though, he’ll have more time to practice before you two get anywhere close to that. Or not.
The two of you are lying on your bed kissing, the kind of slow, lazy make-out that wouldn’t really be going anywhere only Jason’s got your thigh rubbing up in between his legs and that same hair trigger sensitivity. He swears he can almost feel the soft heat of your skin through the rough drag of denim. Your plush lips open wider and he surges forward, eager to notch himself closer. He’s clumsy like this, limbs too big and uncoordinated with you under him. His hips start undulating of their own accord at the extra friction, and you slip a hand into the back pocket of his jeans to urge him on. It’s good, so good, God why did he never realize it could be this good? The sensation of you below him, warm and solid, and the rough-pressure-heat on his cock is all it takes. You swallow his moan as he comes in his pants, wet splotch blooming darkly. His hands tighten around you. Jason pants and moans into your throat, hips weakly grinding his cock against you through it. Red-faced, it takes him longer than it should to realize that you’re cooing at him.
“–good, sweetheart? You were so good for me, taking what you needed.”
Shame and embarrassment light him up, battling with the litany of sweetheart, sweetheart, she called me sweetheart currently striking him dumb. He buries his face into your neck, can feel the temperature difference between his flaming cheeks and your skin.
“’M sorry,” he says meekly, “I didn’t mean to come so fast. Swear it. I’ll do better next time.” Worry curls in his stomach, faint echoes of embarrassment about leaving you unsatisfied. Can’t bear to look you in the eye, feeling stripped back and vulnerable as he is. His hips are still working against yours, grinding the sensitive head of his cock into his damp boxers. You laugh.
“What’re you talking about, Jay? You were perfect, so perfect for me sweetheart.” And Jason wants to crawl out of his skin because ‘perfect’ is not a word that gets applied to him often. Not one that he thought applied now, coming in his pants so quickly, before he’s even made you feel good. Ignoring the stubborn prickling at the backs of his eyes and the warmth quickly spreading down his chest, he kisses the sweet column of your throat.
“Wanna return the favour,” he whines, licking up the salt of your skin. Your grip tightens in his hair.
“Yeah? You gonna be good for me again?” you tease, breathless. One of your hands grips his own, glides it down to the elasticized waistband of your underwear.
Jason’s pretty sure he’s been electrified when he feels just how wet you are. He’s also pretty sure this is the closest he’s ever gotten to a pretty girl’s underwear too. Thick fingers glide easily between your folds. You’re hotter than he expected, slick collecting in his palm. His index finger catches on your entrance, thumb hunting for your clit. He knows he’s found it when you sigh into his ear, and he grins. Maybe he’s not so bad at this whole sex thing after all. Slowly, he starts to spear you open on one thick finger and chokes. Jason’s never felt anything so fucking tight. He groans into your collarbone. Your walls tighten up around him at the vibration and it goes straight to his cock. If he hadn’t just come, he’d be making a mess in his pants right now. Again. The thought of how good your slick, wet, heat would feel squeezing around his cock vice-like has him lightheaded.
“Can I– please can I?” he begs, delirious with how badly he wants this.
“Gotta use your words, sweetheart,” you say breathlessly, voice hitching as he fucks his finger back into you. “Need to ask for what you want.”
“Please, please, can I fuck you? Want it. Want it so bad,” Jason whines. He can taste the want, sparks dancing on his tongue, blood rushing in his ears. His whole body aches with it.
“S’all you had to say, sweetheart.” A hand grips him through his damp jeans and he bucks into the touch, a writhing mass of nerves and need. “You gonna take care of me? Huh?” The zipper inches down and he almost sobs. “Gonna be good to me, sweetheart?” All the air rips out of his lungs at the burning brand of a palm finally touching his spent cock. 
Jason doesn’t recognize his own voice, high and reedy, babbling “I promise, I promise, I promise.” He’s gasping, greedy, mouth open and searching blindly for yours. 
He whimpers – the Red Hood honest to god whimpers – when you pull away. His brain starts to come back online when you start tugging at the hem of his shirt and he almost face plants into the mattress in his eagerness to get his pants and shirt off at the same time. You laugh as your bra hits the floor somewhere to the side of the bed and pull him down for another kiss, a soft nip at the swell of his bottom lip that has him trailing after you. Your legs open to cradle his hips and Jason figures this must be the next best thing to paradise. He shudders at the pressure of his cock trapped between your bellies.
“Now you’re gonna give me all–” you give a slow roll of your hips that has Jason’s vision going blurry at the feeling of every inch of him trapped between you, “– of that. You’re gonna be this–” another slow, filthy roll that has him cotton-mouthed, “–deep in me, sweetheart, and you’re gonna keep fucking me until I tell you to stop.” Your hand at the nape of his neck pulls his hair back until he’s looking right in the eye. It’s a hungry, dark stare that greets him and Jason thinks that if this is what it’s like to be eaten alive, he’ll die a happy man (if you’ll let him).
He gets so distracted by the wicked grin on your face that he barely notices the hand guiding his cock to your entrance until the head is pushing into your burning heat. His mouth snaps shut and his jaw clenches, desperate to keep it together. Your legs lock around him, urging him forward. Inch by inch he slowly thrusts his way into you, sanity hanging on by a thread as he fights the urge to just fuck into your tight cunt. Finally, finally, his hips meet yours, cock fully sheathed inside of another person for the first time. He pants open mouthed into the side of your neck, trying so hard to be good for you. 
“Not a virgin now, are you sweetheart?” you whisper, hand stroking through his sweaty curls. “Now move.”
Like a shot from one of his beloved .45s, Jason starts pistoning into you, pulling his cock out until it’s almost slipping out and hammering right back in to the hilt. You’re tight, so fucking tight that he doesn’t know how he’s ever gonna go back to his fist after this. His rhythm’s sloppy, cunt drunk and chasing his next high but he can’t make himself stop. Sweat beads on his chest and tears dot his lashes. He howls as you cant your hips up and drag a hand across his chest, nails catching on a nipple. The slippery clutch of your cunt burns away all his good intentions, just a mewling, writhing creature desperate to feel good. The burning heat in his gut is building, his arms trembling from exertion. Its too soon, too soon for him to be ready to come again but the high in his veins and the tenseness in his belly are screaming otherwise.
It’s not fair, he’s– he’s trying so hard and it’s not fair because you haven’t even come once and here he is being greedy and about to come again. It’s not fair. There’s real tears of frustration beading up in his eyes now, face and body flushed red, sticky sweet.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’msorryI’msorryM’sorry,” he keens, high and hysterical as he comes, hot pulsing spurts deep inside you. He’s not– it’s not stopping God why is it not stopping? He’s never come for this long but it just won’t stop and he can’t move, not with your ankles locked so tight around his hips. Jason’s face burns with the shame, eyes screwed up tight and trying not to tear the sheets fisted in his hands. A hand cups his face, runs a thumb lovingly over a cheekbone until he screws up the courage to crack open his eyes a smidge.
“There’s my sweetheart. Doing so well for me.” A finger brushes away the tear threatening to fall from the corner of his eye. “Felt so good you just couldn’t stop yourself from coming again, hmm?” you clench down on his cock and the punched out sound that leaves him has Jason shying away in embarrassment. “None of that now. Not when you’re being so good.” You bite down on the tendon in his neck, grinning around your teeth as his whole body shudders, before laving a broad tongue over it. “You’ve still gotta job to do, don’t you? Gotta fuck all of your cum into me, gotta keep it where it belongs.”
Jelly limbed, its easy to push Jason onto his back. His cock never even leaves your cunt. Gravity does all the work as you spear yourself open on him. He moans, high punched out little things, cock bullying even deeper into you. Jason’s so sensitive now, riding the edge of pleasure-pain like a knife. He feels flayed open, nerves raw, as you grind and clench yourself up and down his shaft. You pull one of his palms to your breast, teach him how to squeeze it, the way you like having your nipples pinched and rolled. You ride him and every time you pull off of him Jason holds his breath until you’re fucked back down onto him. He’s so overstimulated it hurts, teeth grinding as you continue to fuck him for your pleasure, like he’s just the guy that happens to be attached to a fat dick.
“I didn’t say to stop, did I?”
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stayevildarling · 2 months
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I adore your writing!! If you take requests, could I request the following for female reader x Wanda x Natasha. Where Natasha and Wanda have been in love with reader for the longest time and absolutely but secretly hate the fact she is in a relationship with someone. Unbeknownst to them, the relationship is toxic and reader suffers but doesn't say anything until maybe one day on a mission they find out? I adore your mental health fics. maybe bit of everything? angst/fluff/smut???? tysm
Natasha Romanoff x Wanda Maximoff x Reader- Good Luck, Babe
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A/N: First of all I want to thank you dear anon for this request. I'm a sucker for fics like this. Secondly, I apologise for other projects on hold like ,,Fragments of us'' Part two. Right now, I don't have a lot of motivation or time to write but this intrigued me. Title inspired by the song ,,Good Luck, Babe!'' by Chappell Roan.
tw/tags: female reader, established relationship Wanda + Natasha, mention of abusive partner, mention of physical abuse, mention of verbal + emotional abuse, mention of bruises/cuts, mention of violence, cursing, mention of poly relationship, angry wandanat, slight nsfw mentions
word count: 10k (I apologize for my previous post regarding this, my draft messed up and I ended up counting the fic twice)
translation: detka= baby, malishka= baby girl
taglist: (if you want to be added comment/sent an ask or dm)
@lunaticwhittaker, @billiebeanhoward, @lanawinters-ily, @kenzbro, @minaslittleone, @httpfiftyshadesofgay, @whitelotus00, @ninaahs, @vintagepaulson, @isle-of-earle, @paulsonsratched, @stepintomyworld, @grilledcheeseandguavajelly, @lucyintheskywithxanax, @fanfics4world, @mymiraclewitch, @hazard-to-myself, @awritersometime, @ohrwurm26, @wastdstime, @p1pecleanerwitheyes
The Avengers compound had been unusually quiet this morning, the rain tapping gently against the large windows, creating a soothing rhythm that contrasts with the usual hustle. Outside said large windows, the world is wrapped in a soft haze, the greenery of the compound blurred by the pouring rain. The air inside feels cooler this morning, causing Natasha to shiver slightly, before the scent mixes with the faint aroma of coffee.
In the meantime, Wanda stands by the stove in the kitchen, her movements flowing freely as she prepares breakfast. The soft clinking of utensils, one of the few sounds breaking the silence. Usually, mornings after Tony's birthday parties would be filled with the sounds of laughter, groans from those suffering from hangovers and the general buzzing from the team slowly coming back to life. However, today it was different. Natasha sits at the kitchen island, a steaming cup of coffee in her hands.
Her green eyes fixed on the rain outside, lost in her thoughts. Her posture is tense, shoulders slightly hunched and her usual confident demeanour seemingly distant. Even her hair, still damp from the shower she had, falls in loose waves around her face. Wanda, ever the observant girlfriend, notices of course. Having noticed, as soon as she found Natasha this morning, sitting absentmindedly on the sofa of their shared apartment within the compound, before she headed for a shower, barely any words exchanged yet.
Usually, the two of them had a different routine on mornings like this with no mission to prepare for. Natasha would shower first and then Wanda would join her in the kitchen, where Natasha would tease her about her cooking and baking, despite loving it deeply. But today, there was no teasing, no light conversation, no glances filled with love, no warm arms wrapping around the redheads. Just silence and the occassional sounds of rain and clattering from Wanda's cooking.
As the Scarlet Witch flips a pancake, she glances over at Natasha again, her concern deepening with each moment passing. The redhead's face is a careful mask, but Wanda could sense the tension beneath it, her magic not needed as her love for the Black Widow was enough as she had been with her for years and knew her better than anyone. Natasha's fingers tap rhythmically on the side of her mug of coffee, a rare sign of agitation.
Setting down the spatula, Wanda moves closer as her elbows rest on the kitchen counter, her eyes observing Natasha a little closer. ,,Are you okay darling?'' she asks softly, her voice cutting through the silence.
In response she blinks, as if coming out of a daze, looking at her girlfriend. For a moment she seems conflicted, ready to flash one of her practiced smiles and assure her girlfriend that she is absolutely fine and just thinking about a mission or what to do at the gym later. But then she sighs, her shoulders slumping slightly. ,,I don't know'' she admits, her voice unusually soft and small. She looks back at the window, the grey reflecting in her eyes. ,,Just thinking'' she acknowledges, her walls right where they usually would be, before Wanda would break through them gently.
,,Are you thinking about last night by chance?'' Wanda whispers, reaching out to place her hand on Natasha's arm in a comforting manner. The redheads head snaps towards her partner, both feeling caught and at the same time wondering how Wanda would have known. ,,How-?'' she snaps a little, worried that maybe the witch had used her powers on her girlfriend as reading minds certainly was one of them. If she was thinking straight, the avenger would know that Wanda would never do that, respecting Natasha's privacy always and rather giving her time and space rather than using her magic to force any truths out of her partner.
,,Detka, I know you'' she assures, her eyes searching her girlfriends. Natasha sighs, feeling bad for even thinking that Wanda would have invaded her thoughts like that and at the same time sighing, knowing she would have some explaining to do. ,,This is about Y/N, isn't it love?'' Wanda asks softly, using her magic to turn off the stove as the pancakes were done at this point and wanting to stay close to her girlfriend in order to comfort whatever was troubling her mind. Natasha sighs, as Wanda as usually had figured out exactly what was troubling her and indeed it had been you.
The relationship between the two of them and you had always been a little strange. Natasha and Yelena rescuing you and your memories years ago from the red room and the people having done the same horrible things to you than the Russian and her sister. They took you in, introducing you to the avengers as you really had no home, no family, yet your skills had been impressive. And quickly, the avengers had become your home, giving you shelter at the compound to get back on your feet, Yelena quickly becoming one of your best friends and Natasha equally close to you, wanting to save the last bit of your soul as she had instantly felt something, as soon as laying eyes upon you for the first time, you had been different and she could tell, even back then.
At the time, both Natasha and Wanda had more of a fling, hands always lingering somewhere on each other, glances shared in meetings, secret meetings and hook ups at night as they couldn't quite keep their hands away from each other. Both of them took you under their wing, helping you train some younger recruits in order to give you something to do, support you emotionally, making sure you could thrive again after suffering abuse and torture for several years. And you blossomed in a way that Tony and the others quickly realised you could be an asset to them, offering to send you on your first mission. And at that time both Wanda and Natasha had grown so close to you that they objected, not liking the thought of you in danger again and worrying about your health and mental state and how the mission may affect you.
In the end they insisted on accompanying you and watched in awe as you succeeded with your first mission, thriving with each day along the avengers. The three of you quickly become the golden trio, always seen together, either in the gym with Natasha, working out while blasting some music, the redhead teasing you for your right hook. Often seen with Wanda as she showed you some of her magic as it had you in awe. The three of you grew closer than the two of them ever had been before and over months their feelings for you grew. Natasha and Wanda pretty much realised at the same time, confiding in each other as they didn't want to ruin what they already had. When the same words spilled from their lips they couldn't help but laugh but the laughter quickly subsided as one of the recruits who you had been training often, seemed to have captured your heart.
They didn't notice the lingering glances, the gestures from her as she showered you in flowers, affection and gifts. As they had been too caught in their own feelings and how they could ever propose this idea to you, despite feeling pretty sure that you felt the same way, having seen your blushing whenever around them and the way you squirmed whenever their hands lingered on you somewhere or the pet names they had reserved for you specifically, flowed so freely from their mouths. It hit them hard when they found about you and Lucy, each of them handling the news in their own ways. Natasha made sure to background check her properly, using all of her spy skills, even searching her room one day, wanting to make sure she would treat you right. Wanda accepted it, your happiness her main priority and wanting to comfort Natasha in the process.
In the end that's how the two of them finally grew closer and closed the last gaps of privacy, making their fling more official and confessing their feelings. Ever since then, they had been the power couple of the Avengers. The two mothers as the others would often call them as they made sure to look after the others, often providing them with food after missions or advice and always a listening ear or Wanda's magic nearby whenever anyone needed it. But despite the months passing, slowly even a year of your relationship with Lucy approaching, they still hadn't forgotten about you and their feelings certainly never subsided. They respected your relationship of course and the fact you couldn't spent as much time as before but they always made sure to fit some conversation or at least one pizza or move night into a week, wanting to make sure you are well taken care of and they could still have you around.
,,Yeah'' Natasha admits, stopping her daydreaming about you, before she reminisces about the previous night and how Lucy had been all over you, dragging you onto the dance floor when you clearly looked tired after the previous mission. How you often wanted to come over and chat with them but she dragged you into another corner, crashing her lips onto you, making Natasha almost rage in jealousy and wanting nothing more than to pry you away from her. Natasha had been worried, whether this relationship was truly making you happy as you had never mentioned Lucy to them before and how they found out through Thor and some of the other guys chatting back then. How they often found you alone when Lucy was out with some of the other recruits from her missions and team, leaving you alone as they went clubbing and drinking, Natasha inspecting Lucy's social media closely. How she never seemed to post photos of you, never showing you off the way she certainly would. How she hadn't showered you in gifts for ages, something Natasha would certainly also do as you deserved flowers every single day if it was up to the Russian.
,,Don't you think it's time to let that go darling?'' Wanda asks softly, knowing her lover had struggled for almost a year with her feelings and the jealousy so evident on the Black Widows features whenever the two of you are around. Of course the Scarlet witch hated it equally, ultimately agreeing that her and Natasha could certainly treat you better but you seem happy and your happiness is all that matters to the redhead. ,,I know I should but-'' the redhead hesitates then, not knowing how to finish that sentence as her feelings both confused and overwhelmed her at the same time. ,,I just have this feeling that she's not happy that.. we could have-'' she begins but Wanda cuts her off, finishing her sentence. ,,Could have treated her better?''. Natasha nods, sighing again as her shoulders slump further, Wanda smiling sadly at her partner and hating how much this was hurting her.
,,Am I not enough for you?'' Wanda suddenly questions, completely catching Natasha off guard as she sits up straight, her face almost crumbling at the question. ,,Darling'' she sighs, feeling bad instantly before noticing the slight smirk on her partners face. ,,You're perfect detka'' she reassures, kissing the tip of her nose. ,,How about you show me just how enough I am for you'' Wanda teases, knowing she couldn't fix this and some distracting was in order. ,,Certainly but pancakes after?'' Natasha smiles before lifting up her partner, Wanda's legs wrapping around her as she carries her to the bedroom, the witch giggling on her way over as Natasha plants kisses along her neck. Wanda nods through her hitched breathing.
----
Today had been another slow day, the rain had woken you a while ago, as well as a pounding headache, causing you to groan as soon as you tried to open your eyes but failed due to the pounding pain. Somehow, you managed to stumble your way into the kitchen of your shared room with Lucy, reaching for some water and painkillers before sitting in silence for what seemed like hours until the headache was bearable enough to move again. Last night seemed a blur, the only memory left the fact it was Tony's birthday and at some point remembering his speech but then everything blurred. As you glance at your phone, you realise the upcoming meeting for the mission tomorrow in the afternoon and you knew you should get some exercise in at some point as you skipped yesterday due to the party and helping Pepper with the preparations.
After throwing on some leggings and an oversized hoodie, you grab some Gatorade from the fridge and make your way over to the gym, sincerly hoping that no one would be in there as you certainly didn't feel like conversation today. You didn't feel right today, besides from the headache and you really couldn't tell what was wrong, feeling both dizzy and fatigued and as if someone had repeatedly beat you with Thor's hammer. You sigh in relief finding the gym empty, putting on your headphones and blasting some music before starting on some cardio, knowing the upcoming mission would probably include some running, wanting to do some weights afterwards before showering and getting ready for the meeting in the afternoon. The rain continues pattering as your thoughts are blended out by the sound of music and focusing on your training, wanting to be fit and ready for tomorrow.
In your daze you never realised Wanda and Natasha entering about an hour later, watching you with amused smirks, as they watch you from behind lifting some weights, not having seen your features but recognising that oversized hoodie from anywhere as Natasha had given it to you after you came home with them, barely any clothes with you and how you had kept it since. They had tried to greet you but the music from your headphones had been so loud that they could hear it from the other side of the room and Wanda took a mental note of the songs, how they were so slow and sad, unlike the usual things you would listen to, wanting to adress that at some point. It's not until you take your headphones off, having finished your workout for today, grabbing the bottle and almost chugging it, suddenly feeling the same fatigue and dizziness again, when you notice their presence.
,,Hi detka'' Natasha and Wanda greet you with bright smiles and you breathe a second before turning around with a smile. Instantly their smiles drop slightly as they notice how pale you are. ,,Are you alright, sweetheart?'' Wanda asks concerned, walking over to get a better look at you. ,,Fine, just tired Wands'' you reassure but that certainly wasn't enough for the redhead witch, as she approaches you, cupping your cheeks and checking for any sign of a temperature. ,,Wanda I just worked out, I'm fine'' you reassure and Natasha can't help but giggle at your antics. ,,Stubborn just like me'' she huffs before grabbing some weights and beginning her own workout. ,,How have you been darling? we haven't seen you much lately'' Wanda asks as her eyes search yours. She instantly notices the hesitation before you speak and the concern is evident in her orbs. ,,I've been good, just busy with missions you know'' you assure and she nods, knowing you had been sent on plenty of them lately.
,,If you ever need us to tell Tony to back off a little, you know where to find us'' Natasha offers with a wink but you know she means every word as they always took care of your needs. For a moment your brave smile fades as your reality catches up with you and you have to fight the tears away, and they notice of course but before either of them can speak, the three of you are interrupted as a presence stops by the door. ,,Y/N, you coming?'' Lucy asks and you smile before reaching for your things ,,Of course'' you nod, smiling at both Wanda and Natasha before following your girlfriend. ,,Bye guys'' you part them with almost a sad smile as Lucy reaches for your hand, dragging you away from them. The two of them remain quiet, Natasha drowning her raging jealousy in her workout and Wanda lost deeply in her thoughts as today she had for the first time seen what Natasha had mentioned, the sadness in your eyes, the feeling that something wasn't quite right, despite her not being able to point it out exactly.
As the elevator doors close, Lucy's grip tightens on your hand. "I told you I don't like them," she hisses. You roll your eyes inwardly, too tired to argue. The familiar ache in your head and the exhaustion in your bones keep you silent, dreading the confrontation that awaited in your room.
Your relationship with Lucy had started beautifully. She'd been sweet and caring, helping you through nightmares, showering you with affection, and making you forget the Red Room's horrors. But then things changed—her patience waned, arguments became frequent, and eventually, she became physical with you. You blamed her stress, even yourself, for provoking her.
Now, you just endured it. You had become an expert at hiding the bruises, adjusting your uniform to conceal them. The shame of being an Avenger, unable to stand up to your girlfriend, weighed heavily on you. You longed for someone who treated you kindly, like Wanda and Natasha. But you believed you had missed your chance with them, seeing them so happy together. Lucy had convinced you that no one else would want you, and you believed it, accepting your fate.
And you had been exceptional at hiding your true feelings, the lonely nights when Lucy went out partying, the nights after arguments, covering your body in order for no one to see. And so you carried on each day, your head held high as if nothing happened, carrying on with your duties and your life, accepting your ultimate fate as you had a play in it surely.
At the meeting that afternoon, you entered the briefing room feeling every bruise and ache Lucy had left on you. Last night had been particularly rough, and her anger had found its usual target you. Despite your best efforts to hide the signs, you felt utterly drained, the weight of everything pressing down on you. Your goal was simple to get through the meeting without drawing attention.
As you take a seat, you immediately notice both Wanda and Natasha watching you from across the room. You tried to muster a convincing smile but somehow the exhaustion must show. Natasha's eyes narrow slightly, Wanda's brow furrowed in concern. They exchange a glance, clearly picking up that something was off and bothering you. Throughout the meeting, you could feel their eyes on you while Tony was going on about mission details but somehow you struggled to focus. ,,You're nothing, worthless'' the words of Lucy replay in your mind. You nod along, taking notes almost mechanically, just trying to keep up your apperance. It's when Tony asks for your input on a tactical point, there is a pause as you realize you really hadn't been listenting the way you should have.
,,Y/N?'' Tony prompts and thats when you snap back to the present, stammering a response that you hope was good enough to answer his question. Wanda's eyes are practically boring into you, her concern deepening by the minute as she senses your unease. After the meeting finishes, you hurry and gather your things, hoping to slip away before anyone could corner you. But Natasha was quicker of course, intercepting you at the door.
,,Hey, you alright?'' she asks, her voice casual but her eyes serious. All you can do is nod, forcing a smile. ,,Yeah, just tired'' you say, hating how weak your voice sounds right now. Natasha doesn't seem convinced, but she doesn't press the subject further, just nodding slowly.
Wanda, however had always been more direct. As you step into the hallway, she catches up with you, her expression filled with concern. ,,Can we talk?'' she asks, her tone gentle but insistent. You sigh, feeling cornered but too exhausted to resist. ,,Sure'' you mutter, following them both to a quieter area. Natasha joins, leaning against the wall with her arms crossed.
,,Y/N darling'' she begins, the sound of her voice causing your heart to swell. ,,You don't seem like yourself. What's going on?'' she asks softly. You hesitate, your instinct to hide the truth clashing with the need of finally letting someone in. Natasha's gaze is boring right into you, making it clear they are serious about this and not about to let this slide.
,,It's nothing, I'm just tired and.. had a long night'' you admit weakly, avoiding their eyes. Wanda's hand reaches out, gently touching your arm. It takes every last bit of you not to flinch, not having felt their gentle hands in so long and the gesture almost causing you to cry as you had longed for gentle hands rather than rough ones.
,,We are worried about you'' she says. ,,You can talk to us, We have noticed you have been different lately detka'' the witch tries again, feeling bad for pushing you but deeply concerned about you as your bright smile had vanished lately.
Natasha nods, her voice low and serious ,,We care about you Y/N, you don't have to do this alone, whatever it is''. Your facade and walls crack a little at their genuine concern. You feel a lump forming in your throat, the urge to break down overwhelming. You look at them, tears threatening to spill. You know you needed to give them something but then again you knew it couldn't be the truth.
,,It's.. complicated'' you finally admit, your voice barely above a whisper. Wanda squeezes your arm reassuringly. ,,Please know that we are here for you, always'' she encourages, knowing they had pushed enough know and at least wanting you to know that much.
Their words feel like some weight finally lifted off your shoulders, despite the chain of Lucy holding you down. You wanted to tell them everything but the fear keeps you silent. Yet, the warmth and concern in their eyes gives you a glimmer of hope and warmth. As the conversations lingers in the quiet corner, Wanda and Natasha exchange a knowing glance.
Natasha is the first to break the silence ,,What are you doing tonight?'' she asks, her voice casual but her eyes intent on you. You hesitate, unsure how to respond. ,,Nothing much.. I guess just rest'' you say, knowing that Lucy had plans with the others to go out drinking again. You had planned for a quiet night, mentally and physically preparing for the mission tomorrow. But you dreaded the nights alone, dreading the emptiness of the room you shared with her. Dreading her return and the comments she would make as soon as she would sway into the room.
Wanda smiles softly, an idea clealry forming between them. ,,How about a movie night? Just like the old days'' she suggests, a hint of nostalgia in her voice. ,,We could use some downtime and I think you could too'' Natasha adds, her eyes sparkling with excitement. You blink a few times, suprised by the offer. It had infact been long since the three of you had spent time together like that. The thought of a quiet evening with them, away from everything, seems incredibly exciting. You find yourself nodding before you even fully process it or the potential consquenzes of your agreeing.
,,That sounds nice'' you admit, feeling a little shy as a small but genuine smile creeps onto your face. Natasha grins, looking relieved. ,,Great, we'll pick up some snacks and meet in the common room around seven?'' she asks and you nod. Wanda smiles before leaning in closer ,,Now get some rest detka'' and you smile a little before parting ways with them.
The warmth of their invitaton eases some of the tension in your chest and on your tired shoulders. It feels like a small escape, a chance to reconnect with them and perhaps even feel like yourself again. Whenever you had spent time with them in the past, they made you feel seen, valid for your experiences in life and the way of your thinking. As you step back into your room, finding it empty, everything fades in the background a little, the anxiety and anticipation about tonight.
The exhaustion weighs heavily on you, both physically and mentally and before you can think about tonight any further, your eyes begin feeling heavy, sleep quickly catching up with your tired bones. When you wake next, the room is dimly lit by the late afternoon sun, the rain having subsided, casting soft shadows. You glance at the clock, realizing it's almost time for the movie night. Stretching, you feel a little more rested, though the dull ache still remains. You notice Lucy's absence for a moment and feel a pang of relief and guilt. She must have already left to meet the others for their night out. The silence of the room feels foreign but peaceful. You take a deep breath, hoping she wouldn't find out about tonight as she most certainly would be furious as soon as she found out.
After a quick shower to freshen up, you dress in comfortable lounge clouthes, trying to shake off the remaining sleep from your nap. You take a moment to look into the mirror, noticing the tiredness in your eyes but also a small flicker of something else, maybe hope or at least the anticipation of a night without stress. As you make your way to the common room, you find the atmosphere cozy and inviting. The lights are dimmed, a stack of movies awaiting your selection on the table. Natasha is sprawled out on one of the couches, flipping through the snack options, while Wanda arranges blankets and pillows, making everything comfortable for the three of you.
,,Hey! perfect timing'' Natasha greets you with a grin, motioning you to join them. ,,We've got snacks, drinks and a whole lot of movies, pick your poision'' she smirks and you can't help but blush a little, feeling right at home with them and as if no time had passed since last spending time with them.
,,Yeah we've got everything malishka, from cheesy rom-coms to action, whatever you're in the mood for''. Wanda smiles warmly at you as you join them both, positioning yourself in the middle as they had left a gap there for you.
You feel a genuine smile stretch across your face as you settle into the plush couch. It feels good to be around them, like slipping into an old beloved sweater. The tension of the day begins to melt away, replaced by the comforting presence of both women.
,,How about we start with this one'' you suggest, reaching for a bowl of popcorn. Wanda and Natasha nod in agreement and the three of you quickly fall into easy conversation, laughing and chatting as the first movie starts. For the first time in what feels like forever, you begin to relax, feeling the warmth and safety of their company wrap aorund you like a protective blanket. For the first time you didn't need to tense, worry about an argument coming, saying the wrong thing or upsetting someone. Simply being able to be yourself and be free from the usual anxiety sourrounding you.
The hours seem to fly by as the sunset quickly turns into darkness of the night, the only light source both the TV and some lights and candles in the corner of the room. The three of you laugh until your sides hurt at the ridicilounsess of one of Wanda's favorite rom-coms, finding joy in the over the top scenarios and cheese lines. It feels good to laugh freely with them. As the night wears on, the movie choices shift to horror. The mood in the room changes with the flickering shadows on the screen and you find yourself jumping at sudden scares. Natasha's teasing doesn't stop as she finds you and Wanda basically jumping into each other's arms. ,,Badass Avenger and the Scarlet Witch hm?'' she smirks, causing you both to side eye her.
Eventually, the adrenaline fades, replaced by a warm, sleepy comfort. The room is filled with the glow of the television and the quiet hum of its background noises. You find yourself leaning into Natasha, her shoulder a steady and comforting presence. The exhaustion of the day, combined with your own rollercoaster of emotions, finally catches up with you. Your eyelids growing heavy and before you know it, you drift off, lulled to sleep by the warmth and safety of the moment.
Natasha had equally drifted off a little, smiling as she noticed you asleep on her shoulder and Wanda simply stares in adoration, having missed your presence with them both for the longest time. She lets herself relax, closing her eyes for a moment to enjoy the peace.
The peace is interrupted however, as soon as Lucy returns to your room from her night out. Both tipsy and irritated she finds your absence, sending a spike of anger through her alcohol fuzed daze. She clenches her jaw, before slamming the door behind her ,,JARVIS, where is Y/N?'' she screams. JARVIS responds in his usual calm tone ,,Miss Y/N is currently in the common room with Miss Romanoff and Miss Maximoff''.
Her anger reaches new levels as she stomps towards the common room, her footsteps echoing through the quiet halls. She's fuming, a mix of jealousy and drunken anger washing over her. As she reaches the door, she pushes it open with a loud bang, startling both you and Natasha awake. You blink, groggy and disorientated for a momnent, struggling to understand what is happening. The peaceful atmosphere shatters as Lucy stands there, her face filled with anger and confusion.
,,What the hell is going on here?'' she slurs, her voice thick with the alcohol she had consumed. Her eyes are wild, darting between the three of you. You feel a cold knot of dread forming in your stomach, feeling terribly guilty for not having told her as you knew from the start she wouldn't have approved this.
Natasha's arm, still around you from before, tenses and Wanda quickly stands, stepping slightly forward, her expression calm but her eyes alert. ,,Lucy'' you say, your voice thick with sleep and confusion. ,,What are you doing here?'' you try to keep your voice steady but the sight of her sends more waves of anxiety crashing over you.
Your girlfriend ignores your question, her gaze fixed on both women in the room with you, her lips curling in disapproval. ,,So this is what you're doing? Cozying up with them while I'm out?'' she spits, her words slurring. The accusation is clear and you feel embarassed as in all honesty she was right with every word.
,,We were just watching movies Lucy'' Natasha says, her voice steady and controlled. She stays seated but her posture is alert, ready to react if needed. ,,Nothing more''.
Wanda still stands beside the couch, looking at you with concern, then back at Lucy. ,,Y/N needed some time to relax. We invited her for a movie night'' the witch explains gently, trying to calm the tension in the room.
Lucy's eyes narrow, her jealousy reaching it's peaking point. ,,Oh is that it?'' she chuckles sarcastically. ,,Just a friendly little get together? Looked like more than that to me'' She takes a shaky step forward, her voice rising. ,,You think I don't see how they look at you? How you look at them?'
Your heart pounds at her words but you stand up, instinctively placing yourself between Lucy and the other two. ,,Lucy it's not like that. We were just hanging out like we used to'' you try to reason with her, wanting to simply be swallowed into the ground, feeling embarassed they both had to witness this.
Natasha stands up too, moving beside you, her presence protective. ,,Lucy calm down, you're drunk'' she says, her tone firm. ,,We don't want this to turn into a scene''.
Your girlfriend laughs bitterly, her eyes flashing with anger. ,,A scene? you think this is a scene? You don't even know what a scene is'' she points a finger at you, her voice harsh. ,,You're mine Y/N, I don't care what kind of night you had or hoped you had, you don't just ignore me and run off with them''.
,,You know what? You need to back off. Y/N has done nothing wrong'' Wanda suddenly speaks up, growing impatient with Lucy's behaviour.
,,Come on we are leaving'' she warns, ignoring Wanda's words as she tries pulling your arm. You feel a sting at her words, the weight of everything she implies. The usual shame and guilt washes over you and as you glance at the two of them, their worried and protective gazes, only cause you to feel worse. The pull of the situation is stronger than any urge to stay with them, fearing what would happen if you didn't comply with Lucy's request. As you stand there, the feeling of tension crackling in the air, Natasha suddenly reaches out and gently touches your arm, her voice soft but firm.
,,Y/N you don't have to go with her'' she offers, her green eyes locking onto yours with a seriousness that catches you off guard. For a moment you hesitate, the warmth and sincerity of their words a contrast to the cold anger coming from Lucy. The idea of staying and not having to face this night was tempting but again Lucy's grip on you was tighter than anything you had felt before.
As her glare intensifies, her hands clenched at her sides, the familiar fear and guilt builds up, overwhelming you for a moment. You swallow hard, looking down, uanble to meet the Black Widow's eyes any longer. ,,I should go'' you mumble, your voice barely above a whisper. The weight of the decision crushes you and you feel the string of tears threatening to spill over. Without another word, you nod, swallowing back the tears turning towards Lucy and following her out of the room. Natasha steps forward as if wanting to follow you but Wanda holds her back, knowing you had made your choice for tonight.
As you enter your shared room, you immediately head to bed, the tears flowing freely as Lucy barely looks at you, storming around, still mutterting angrily. Tonight you realize the reality of what you are stuck in, a reality you can‘t seem to escape from. Both Wanda and Natasha had been so kind, too kind perhaps. Maybe Lucy was right, maybe you didn‘t deserve anything, didn‘t deserve kindness and maybe you shouldn‘t have accepted their invitation, as you deep down knew this was coming.
You lay down, sobbing silently into your pillow, feeling the stinging in your heart. As Lucy eventually quietens and settles down, you feel utterly alone, despite her presence. You close your eyes, wanting nothing more than sleep to come and make you forget.
As you left with Lucy, the silence in the common room feels heavy. Wanda and Natasha stand there quietly, stunned, before the redheads sighs deeply. They clean up in silence, both lost in their thoughts. Once everything was tidy, the tension follows them back to their room. Natasha is the first to break the silence, her voice low and troubled. „I can‘t believe she just went with her“ she sighs, staring up at the ceiling. „Did you see the way Lucy was acting? I‘ve never seen her like that before, it‘s not normal“.
Wanda turns onto her side, facing her girlfriend. „Yeah I saw it“ she replies softly. „Lucy was drunk“ she states before silence follows. „But it was more than that, she was possessive and angry and it didn‘t seem right“. She hesitates, her eyes searching Natasha‘s. „Y/N looked scared Tasha, I have never seen her like that before“ Wanda acknowledges, finally understanding her lovers words from the other day and what Natasha had been implying all along.
Natasha sighs, turning her head to meet Wanda‘s gaze. „I know“ she says, her voice filled with guilt. „I should have done more, should have stopped her“. Wanda reaches out, taking her girlfriends hand into her own. „We did what we could love, besides Y/N was in a tough spot, you saw how Lucy reacted“.
Her girlfriends expression darkens, a protective instinct on her features. „Lucy is hurting her Wanda. Maybe not physically- I hope at least but emotionally. You saw how she flinched when Lucy yelled. That‘s not normal and Y/N doesn‘t deserve that“. Wanda nods in agreement, having seen the same things but not wanting to think too much about that as the thought killed her. Wanda squeezes Natasha‘s hand, nodding. „We‘ll figure it out but we have to be careful. Y/N has to want our help and right now she seems scared“.
Natasha‘s eyes flicker with frustration. „But we can‘t just sit by and do nothing“ she insists. „What if something happens?“. Wanda moves closer, her hand resting comfortingly on Natasha‘s cheek. „Then we step in darling“ she reassures and the redhead finds herself leaning into her girlfriends touch.
----
The next morning arrives much quicker than you anticipated, barely getting any sleep as Lucy's words and the night before had kept you awake most of the night. Tired and fatigued, you somehow got yourself ready for the upcoming mission, getting into your costume and chugging a Gaterode and munching on a protein bar as you make your way to the others. Lucy was still asleep when you left and you had considered waking her but from experiences in the past, she hated to be woken up so you simply accepted it and meet the others by the Quinjet.
Natasha and Wanda quickly greet you, alongside the other Avengers joining you on this mission. You greet them with a small smile, feeling both exhausted and embrassed about what happened the night prior and that they had to witness it. You hoped for a quick succesful mission, wanting nothing more than to get back into bed. You avoid the cockpit, strapping yourself into one of the seats and closing your eyes, missing the other's chatting and catching up with each other as you didn't feel like socizalising. They leave you be, especially the two redheads whos eyes seem to follow your every movement, knowing you probably needed some space after the night before and wanting to allow you to rest some more before arriving as you seemed exhausted.
The Quinjet moves through the sky with light speed, getting you to your destination quick and safely. As soon as you feel a hand on your shoulder, you flinch not expecting the sudden sensation. Wanda smiles warmly at you, ignoring how you reacted to her touch. ,,We're there sweetie'' she coos, frowning a little at seeing you in this state. ,,Are you sure you're up for this detka?'' Natasha asks carefully and you simply nod, rising to your feet and ignoring the dizzy spell as you walk into action with the others.
It was a usual mission, infiltatring a secret enemy hideout stashed with countless illegal and highly dangerous weapons. The mission had been going on for months and Tony finally found their biggest secret base, giving you all the tasks to both disable the weapons and bring in the people responsible. Both Thor and Steve make their way through towards the basement, Natasha, Wanda and you on your way to the labs in order to find the weapons. You dodge security cameras knowlingly, having done this plenty of times before. Natasha is quick to take out the occassional guard lingering somewhere or Wanda simply making them drop to the floor with her magic.
The three of you move in perfect synch, completing each other perfectly and in no time you manage to reach the weapons, hack into their computer database and follow your mission innotiative. After checking back in with the others, you make your way back to the main area, when suddenly you are caught by countless men carrying weapons and making your way back to the others more difficult than necessary. With all of your strength left, you fight them off along with the other two, doging their punches and shots and making them fly into the nearest wall.
It almost all carried out to plan when Thor and Steve alerted you they had what you needed and to get back to the Quinjet, the three of you glancing at each other before getting ready, when another wave of them came. You had been so preoccupied by the pain on your body and the dizziness slowly dragging you down that you slipped a little, stepping in front of Wanda and pushing her out of the way as a bullet came her way. And Wanda being Wanda she of course had it, her magic already glowing in her hands ready to dodge the bullet or simply make it fly back. Instead it graced your shoulder slightly, Natasha quick to make the last of them drop unconscious as they aid to your side.
,,Y/N are you okay?'' Wanda asks, her expression panicked as she sees the cut on your arm and the droplets of blood. ,,Yes it just graced me'' you reassure, signaling them both to get back to the others. They follow close behind you, meeting the others before Natasha takes the wheel, wanting to get back to the compound as quickly as possibly. Wanda sits you down, strapping you into your seat before giving you some water. ,,Wands I'm fine'' you reassure again but your pale expression and the shacking of your hands from holding the water bottle aren't exactly convincing the redhead. Natasha glances towards you both a few times, the concern rippling through her, despite knowing you are safe with her girlfriend.
,,Let me have a look'' she urges, pulling at your uniform but you pull away, knowing you couldn't let her see, not with the state your body was currently in. In the end the redhead accepts it, not budging from the seat beside you and keeping a close eye on you. You stare at the opposite seats which are empty, feeling foolish for your actions, knowing Wanda easily had that bullet and would have been safe. You don't know what washed over you, suddenly feeling the urge to protect them both, despite knowing they are much tougher and stronger than you are.
Almost defeated you make your way back into the compound, not remotely interested in the debriefing with Tony but Steve and Thor noticed, signaling to both redheads they had got it and they can take care of you instead. They follow you into the hallway before stopping you ,,Y/N Y/N wait'' they urge, not wanting to let you leave like this. ,,I said I'm fine'' you suddenly snap, your emotions and the heavy exhaustion betraying you and you simply storm off towards the elevator, leaving them both standing stunned in the hallway, accepting the distance you have put between them and worrying they had fussed too much.
As soon as you step into the elevator moments later, the exhaustion seems to drag you down whole. You barely manage to press a button before your knees give in, causing you to sink to the floor, your back leaning against the wall of the elevator. Wanda and Natasha barely make it back to their room when they suddenly hear JARVIS over the intercoms. ,,Miss Romanoff, Miss Maximoff'' he begins ,,It seems Miss Y/N is in need off assistance in the north elevator''. Their eyes meet for a bare second before they both jolt towards you.
JARVIS system works as quick as light, opening the elevator door and finding your exhausted frame on the floor. In seconds they both drop to their knees, taking your cheeks into their hands, their hearts beating faster at the sight of you like this. ,,Detka, can you hear me?'' Wanda tries and you nod weakly, concious but barely. ,,Okay let's get you to med bay'' Natasha urges, worried the bullet may have done more damage than you let on and they initially believed. ,,No.. no.. please no med bay'' you practically beg through your last energy and Wanda notices the panic in your voice and face, nodding towards Natasha before smiling reassuringly at you.
,,Okay sweetie, let's get you to our room instead hm?'' she offers and you nod weakly before they get you on your feet, each of them resting an arm on their shoulders and getting you towards their room. Natasha is quick to set you down on their sofa, running to the bathroom to grab the first aid kit as Wanda fetches you a sugary drink, hoping this was simply fatigue due to the mission and how exhausted you had been lately. She holds the bottle for you as you take slow sips, the blood slowly reaching your brain again and causing for the shacking of your hands to stop and the colour slowly fading back into your features.
,,Let's take this off and have a look'' Natasha urges and you knew then it was pointless. They would see now due to your own foolishness and without being able to hide it any longer, the tears flow freely, feeling both embarassed and weak for having them see. ,,Detka, are you in pain?'' Wanda asks concerned, seeing you so sad and flinching at Natasha's gently touches. You simply avoid answering her, closing your eyes and brazing for what is about to happen.
Natasha undoes the zips slowly before pulling your uniform off your shoulders, exposing you in a tank top. They instantly notice the beaten and bruised state of your body and their reaction is utterly different. Wanda shocked, the colour equally draining from her face, unable to yet comprehend what had happened. ,,Y/N?!'' she gasps ,,What happened, was this on a mission?''. You remain quiet, meeting Natasha's gaze who knew exactly where these came from. She remains silent herself, inspecting the wound on your shoulder from earlier, making sure to clean and wrap it up for you. She talks you through every step, when it may sting and when it wouldn't, silently asking for your permission and treating you with the gentlest touch in the world.
,,Wait'' Wanda suddenly mumbles as she realizes the extent of your stiutation and what you had been trapped in for almost a year now. ,,Please tell me this wasn't Lucy, malishka'' she urges but when you remain silent again, knowing you couldn't lie to them any longer her green eyes meet Natasha's, filled with tears. ,,I'm going to kill her'' the Black Widow hisses, abandoning the first aid kit before she gets ready to find Lucy. ,,No.. Natasha please..'' you beg, not wanting her to get caught up in this, not wanting her to fight your battles and do what you should have done a long time ago.
Your hands frantically reach for hers, terrified of her leaving and getting hurt by Lucy or her words. She stays, kneeling down in front of you before taking a glimpse at your tired eyes. ,,It's okay, I'm not leaving'' she reassures. ,,What can we do darling?'' she questions as her hands comfortably and reassuringly rest on your knees. ,,May I- stay with you two for a bit please?'' you ask and your voice sounds so broken due to your fear of them abandoning you that it breaks their heart. Natasha steps away for a moment, needing to get her own emotions at bay before she was going to loose it on your girlfriend. Wanda smiles, placing her hand on your cheek ,,What can I do, detka?'' she asks softly, wiping the tears from your cheeks with her thumbs.
,,How would you feel about a nice soothing bath?'' she offers and the sound of that truly sounds heavenly. You nod weakly, feeling bad you intruded on them like this but feeling safe and comfortable with them right now. ,,Let me just run it for you darling'' she assures and as she leaves you for a moment you watch Natasha, her back faced to you before the words spill out of you, barely audible but enough for the redhead to hear. ,,I'm sorry'' you whimper, instantly catching her attention as she turns around and walks over to you. Her eyebrows furrow as she takes a seat beside you ,,What are you sorry for?'' she asks sincerly.
,,For letting you both down, I know you taught me better than this but I didn't know what to do'' you hiccup. Her heart hurts at your statement, unable to form any words as she simply wraps her arms around you, holding you steady. ,,Never be sorry Y/N, this is not your fault'' she assures. Before you know it, Wanda guides you into their bathroom, a warm soothing bath already waiting for you. She had placed some warm towels near the sink for you, as well as one of her hoodies and leggins and some clean socks, knowing you wouldn't feel comfortable in your uniform. ,,Thank you Wands'' you mumble and for a moment there is a pause as the two of you look at each other.
,,Do you need any help? I can stay with you'' she offers but you feel self concious, not wanting her to see the full extend of your bruises, knowing they had only seen a couple so far and knowing the whole image would break them. ,,No thank you and thank you for this'' you smile at her and she nods, giving you the privacy you needed. ,,I'll just be out there, give me a shout if you need anything at all''. And with those words she leaves you, allowing you to undress yourself and soothe your bones in the bath that she had made for you. You instantly feel a little at ease, your muscles feeling less sore in an instant and you wonder whether Wanda had added more than just the bath bubbles she said she added for you, knowing her magic was strong.
When the Scarlet Witch returns to her girlfriend, Natasha sits on the sofa, both the rage and sadness written in her perfect features. Wanda sighs, not having expected this outcome but the pieces finally falling together and making sense after all. ,,I need to go and settle this Wands'' Natasha sighs, her knuckles turning white from the pure anger she is feeling in this moment. ,,I know my love but not like this'' she urges. ,,Help me fix us up some dinner and then we will figure this out together okay?'' the redhead suggests and Natasha nods, knowing her partner was right and if she so much as looked at Lucy right now, she wouldn't be able to control herself.
About half an hour, the two of them finish dinner, noticing you still aren't around and as their gazes meet, the worry is evident on their features. ,,I'll check on her'' Wanda announces. She knocks on the door a few times without success. Natasha follows, noticing the absence of your response. ,,Y/N darling'' Wanda tries again without success. In an instant Natasha opens the door, the two of them finding you asleep safe and soundly in the tub. Their hearts swell at the sight and Wanda is quick to fetch some of the warm towels, carefully scooping you up in her arms as you are knocked out cold. They dress and dry you with the most gentlest of touches, their eyes never prying.
After finishing, Natasha puts you to bed, tugging you in before Wanda suddenly storms off. ,,Where are you going?'' the Black Widow questions, having tried to ignore the state of your body so far and the new bruises and scars they had discovered. ,,Settling this'' Wanda hisses, her eyes glowing red with anger and Natasha lets her, knowing Lucy deserved every bit of Wanda's anger. The Scarlet Witch hurries through the corridor into the elevator, asking JARVIS where she could find Lucy.
Without a second thought she bursts through the door of your and Lucy's shared room, finding her with her back turned, looking out the window. ,,Where the hell have you been?'' she hisses, assuming it was you but when there is a lack of response she turns around, confusion washing over her as she finds Wanda instead. ,,What the hell are you doing here?'' she spits, seeing the red glowing of Wanda's hands. ,,You have exactly until tomorrow morning to leave this place and don't you ever try and return'' Wanda hisses, before storming into the bathroom and bedroom, collecting some of your things, ignoring Lucy's presence.
,,What are you rambling about? where is Y/N?'' she asks, following after the witch. ,,You will never see her again, never lay a single finger on her again'' Wanda warns, trying to hold back her magic, knowing one wrong move and it could wipe out her entire being from ever existing. ,,You have until tomorrow morning, if you aren't gone Natasha will surely have pleasure to see to it'' Wanda hisses as she collects some of your things from the bathroom. Before she can storm off, Lucy stands in her way, her angry eyes darting through Wanda. ,,She's a liar and a manipulator, I didn't do anything, not my fault she's been in love with you two for years'' she laughs bitterly, before Wanda pushes her aside, ignoring her comments and banging the door shut on her way out.
When Wanda returns, she finds you sitting with Natasha on the sofa, looking both comfortable and sleepy in her clothes. The redhead gently sets your things down and your questioning eyes find hers. ,,W- Wanda where were you?'' you stammer, fearing the worst. Wanda sighs deeply before kneeling in front of you ,,I have got some of your things darling, you'll stay with us tonight'' she assures. ,,By tomorrow morning Lucy will be gone and you won't ever have to see her again, she will never lay a hand on you again''. You find yourself in tears again at how protective they are, how they are putting your safety and needs first. ,,Tha- thank you'' is the only thing you manage to say before Wanda takes your hand and guides you to their dining table. ,,I'm sure you must be starving darling, lets eat something hm?'' she suggests and you nod at her offer, sitting between the two of them and enjoying the comfortable silence and occasional small talk.
During the remainder of the night, the two of them having you sandwiched and comfortable between them as you sit on the sofa watching a movie, you are lost in thought. Knowing this was for the best but somehow still reminsing the good times with Lucy, feeling bad you wouldn't get to talk to her yourself and be brave and find the courage to tell her exactly what you had been thinking yourself. Feeling bad to have her driven away from this place as she was good at her missions, belonged with the Avengers just like you did. And you didn't want to ruin it for her. Wanda and Natasha could tell you are lost in thoughts as you had been very quiet, not focusing on the movie much, missing some of the funny bits that has them both giggling or the jump scares, having them both jump.
In the end you let go off the thoughts, feeling so safe and comfortable with both of them that you simply fall asleep on Wanda's shoulder. They debated for a little bit how to do the sleeping situation as the couch wasn't nearly big enough for you three or even two people. And they worried leaving you here alone, knowing this was a lot to process. In the end, Natasha again took you in her strong safe arms, placing you in the middle of their big bed, both of them on either side of you, giving you some space but wanting you to not be alone incase you would wake up tonight and needed anything. And that night was the first night in a very long time where you had proper sleep. You had woken up at some point, confused by the strange surroundings until you found them next to you, sleepily and instictively crawling into their arms before falling asleep and not waking until late the next morning.
The two of them chuckled finding you in their arms, loving the feeling of holding you and knowing deep down that you belong with them, never with Lucy and never anyone else again. But they knew you needed time. Natasha and Wanda got up early, wanting nothing more than to stay beside you but knowing they had things to do. Wanda made sure to have a chat with Tony and the others, explaining the situation delicately and making sure they would take the three of you off missions for a little bit in order to let you and your body heal for a while. After she focused on making breakfast for the three of you, making sure to add some of your favorites, just like she remembered. Natasha in the meantime made sure Lucy was truly leaving, finding her with her bags packed in your room.
,,I hope you three will be very happy'' she spits and Natasha couldnt help but use her right hook on Lucy, a small portion of what she really meant to do to her. With a defeated ego, her bags and a broken nose she ended up leaving the compound, Natasha alerting JARVIS and security that she may never be seen on the premises again. The Black Widow made sure there are no reminders of her left in your room, if you wished to return.
By the time you wake up, finding the bed empty and the clock in their room showing it was past 10am you instantly rise to your feet, feeling panicked for sleeping in so long. Usually, you would have gotten told off for this by Lucy. You find both Wanda and Natasha in the kitchen, waiting for you with your favorite breakfast. ,,Good Morning Detka'' they greet you at the same time. Nervously, you take a seat, sipping some of the orange juice before meeting their gazes. ,,I'm sorry for sleeping so long'' you apologize and Wanda quickly chuckles and shakes her head. ,,Nonsense you were exhausted detka'' she assures. ,,How exactly did I end up in your bed?'' you ask a little shily and Natasha can't help but chuckle ,,You fell asleep on us and we took you to bed, we didn't want you alone in the livingroom'' she assures and you nod.
,,Is she gone?'' you ask after a while of eating breakfast with them in comfortable silence. ,,Yes she's gone'' Wanda assures and they see the tension leaving from your shoulders. The remainder of the day you spent with them as they take it slow with you, going on a walk in the afternoon, eating dinner with you and watching another movie with you in the evening. You felt at ease, knowing this was going to haunt you for a while to come but feeling safe with them. The routine of the prior night repeats as you fall asleep on them and they take you to bed, you not feeling comfortable with sleeping alone and the two of them liking your presence.
The weeks to follow had been filled with many ups and downs, days where you barely managed to get out of bed, days where you were full of energy before reality came crashing down on you. Natasha and Wanda had been with you every step of the way, getting your body and soul enough rest to heal from this. Eventually you moved back into your old room, feeling like intruding on them. You still ate with them, trained with them, eventually even joined them on missions again. You spent your days the way you always had before Lucy, right with them and where you belong. The nights had been lonely often, filled with nightmares or the inability to sleep at all. But slowly you started to heal, focusing on yourself again and slowly as the months passed both Wanda and Natasha seemed content, having you back and feeling like their sunshine was back again.
Your body had healed, the bruises and scars long gone now, the scars on your soul still lingering but fading with each day, with every moment of spending time with them, every soft gentle touch, every reminder that you are worth it. And in the end you started to believe it too, knowing your abilities and never wanting anything like this to ever happen again. It's not until one of Tony's birthday parties that your emotions get the better off you. It had almost been a year without her, a year without pain, without beatings, without feeling like you are worthless every minute of every day. But somehow tonight felt strange, despite having fun with Wanda and Natasha and getting ready with them, Wanda letting you borrow one of her dresses.
You somehow felt empty that night, eventually stealing away to one of the balconies, away from the crowds. Your heart had been feeling strange lately, a longing that you couldn't quite grasp. Each day your thoughts had been consumed by them, their touches on you, their words and how gentle they had been with you. And you felt sad, having missed your chance, longing for someone like them and despite liking your freedoom, also feeling incredibly lonely at night. For the past few days you had been more quiet and they had noticed of course, having tried to get the truth out of you but you didn't feel ready to tell either of them how you truly had been feeling.
,,Penny for your thoughts?'' Natasha interrupts the peace and as you turn around you find her in the black dress that complemented her features perfectly. Wanda is right beside her, the red dress matching the wine glass she is holding perfectly and you couldn't help but smile, seeing them so happy, so perfect for each other. ,,Hi there'' you greet them, feeling slightly tipsy from the amount of drinks you had been having in order to forget.
,,Enjoying the view?'' Wanda teases and you freeze for a moment until she looks at the sky filled with stars and the moon shining down brightly on the compound. ,,Yeah it's peaceful, I like it'' you admit and they both join you, before Natasha offers you to sit down on one of the large outdoor sofas. ,,What's been on your mind detka?'' she asks, having noticed and not wanting to worry anymore, simply wanting to get the all too familiar smile back she had been in love with for years.
,,I've just been thinking a lot lately'' you admit, staring at the now empty glass in your shaking hands. ,,What about love?'' Wanda asks carefully, tilting her head a little in order to catch a better glimpse of you. ,,About life, you know?'' you sigh and Natasha can't help but chuckle. ,,Come on detka, tell us'' she smiles warmly, enjoying the poetic side of you. ,,I just regret things you know? with Lucy and before and the choices I made'' you sigh. ,,I can't help but wonder what my future would have been like if I didn't-'' you stop yourself, not wanting to ruin what you had built with them by filling them in how you truly had been feeling.
Wanda and Natasha had talked a lot in the last few months, wanting to give you space and time to heal but having realized you belong with them. And they knew, it didn't take Natasha's spy skills or Wanda's magic to figure out that you felt the same way but they never wanted it to be too soon, never wanting to push you unil you were truly ready. But they could see the way you look at them holding hands, thinking about how your hand would fit in it so perfectly. Seeing their loving glances and how your heart equally beat for them, wanting to feel them on you, thinking about what their lips felt like on yours.
,,Didn't choose us over her?'' Natasha questions bluntly, knowing it was the right time to adress this tonight. Your eyes widen at her statement, before your gaze averts them, nodding before looking into the distance. Her statement surprised you as you never truly knew whether there was an us considering the two of them had always loved each other, long before you even joined them. ,,Tell us how you feel'' Wanda encourages, her green eyes staring right into your soul. ,,I can't'' you sigh, your heart beating out of your chest at this point. ,,Why?'' Natasha questions curiously, enjoying the sight of you squirming. ,,Because I don't want to ruin what we have'' you admit, tears filling your vision.
,,You could never darling'' Wanda assures and then it bursts out of you. ,,I wish I never got with her or even if I did I wish I would have stood up for myself, I feel lonely, my heart aches for...'' you still can't finish your sentence but Natasha is quite happy finishing it for you. ,,For us?'' she questions, a smirk playing on her lips and your eyes widen again at her bluntness. ,,Yes'' you admit, tears lingering in your eyes. ,,And I know you've got each other and would never feel the same but you just are so kind and perfect to me'' you admit.
This time Wanda breaks the silence, taking your hand into her own and abandoning the glass you had been holding. ,,Detka, we have been in love with you for years you know'' she admits and instantly your eyes snap towards her green ones. ,,Natasha hated every single day of you not being with us and we know it hasn't been easy for you lately, thats why we never said anything but you belong with us'' she admits and when you look at Natasha and see the sincerity in her eyes, you almost can't believe this is real and not one of your daydreams.
,,You.. you love me?'' you question, wanting to make sure you understood them right. ,,Yes silly, now the question is, do you love us?'' Natasha teases again and you can't help but blush under their gazes before nodding. ,,Good, I'm glad we finally talked about that'' she smiles before taking a sip from her drink. ,,Now whenever you are ready, we can have a conversation about this properly okay? but know you never have to be lonely again with us or scared, we will be there, we will take care of you because you belong with us'' Wanda confesses and you nod weakly, still feeling like you are in a daze.
,,Need a refill?'' Natasha offers and you chuckle a little reliefed before nodding. ,,Lets go then'' they suggest and you follow them as they take you to the bar. You end up dancing with them, drinking with them and giggling with them, finally feeling like you belong, still unable to believe any of this is real. After a while, you suddenly look at them both with an expression neither of them could read. ,,Nat?'' you mumble, not wanting anyone else to hear what you are about to say. ,,Yes detka?'' she asks, leaning in a little closer, her eyes piercing into your own and her lips so close to your own.
,,What if I'm ready now?'' you blurt out, feeling both the effects of the alcohol and the confession from before, mixed with adrenaline. ,,What?'' she asks confused, not understanding what you are implying. ,,You said to tell you when I'm ready, what if I'm ready for you both, right now?'' you ask again, this time much clearer and Natashas's eyes quickly meet Wanda's the lust in your own blending in with theirs. ,,Yes.. Yes I mean if you're sure'' she mumbles before you nod. ,,Then come on, we'll take good care of you'' Natasha offers and you take their hands into your own as they lead you away from the crowds towards their room, their hungry lips and hands already on you as soon as you step into the elevator and the door closes behind you.
And despite everything that had happened, you finally know you belong. With them, always.
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kpopfanfictrash · 10 months
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Jingle All the Way Collaboration
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Coming your way this holiday season! Whether you've been naughty or nice, you'll have seven fics to unwrap by @kpopfanfictrash , @leahsfavefics , @kithtaehyung , @yoonia , @cybrsan and @sugaurora.
All second chance romance. All holiday themed. All attempting to utilize the same quote: "The holidays aren't so bad with you around." Come down the chimney, embrace your inner Vixen, and warm up this season with the Jingle All the Way collab!
Content Creator: all amazing banners are made by the truly spectacular @kithtaehyung!!
(Links to be added as fics are posted)
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Title: The Ten Days of Ex-Mas
Author: @kpopfanfictrash
Pairing: Jimin x Reader (f)
Rating/Genre: M (18+); angst, fluff, smut; hockey player au, second chance au, oh noo there was only one bed
Summary: Three months following the worst break-up of your life, you finally feel ready to start moving on. The world, it seems, has other ideas when you pick up the phone and find your ex-boyfriend calling.
Jimin Park, star right winger of the NHL and (until recently), the love of your life, has a very large problem. Despite the courage he regularly shows on the ice, in his personal life, Jimin is kind of a coward. When you broke up this fall, he could barely admit it. Not to his neighbors. Not to his friends. Not even to his family, who are expecting him home for Christmas. In a desperate plea for more time, Jimin begs you to pretend you’re still dating – and to his surprise, you agree. Faced with a second chance, Jimin is determined not to squander it. If only fixing a relationship were as easy as falling in love.
Posting Date: December 19th, 2023
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Title: All I Want for Christmas is Joon
Author: @leahsfavefics
Pairing: art historian!Namjoon x art historian!reader (f)
Rating/genre: m (18+) angst, fluff, smut, second chance au
Summary: You have had a rough year following the mutual break up with your grad school sweetheart. On a whim, you book a spontaneous trip to Europe for the holidays to help get you out of the funk you’re in and assert your independence. It would be great, if it weren’t for the fact that you keep bumping into your ex boyfriend.
Posting Date: December 21st, 2023
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Title: Back to December
Author: @kithtaehyung
Pairing: Seokjin x Reader(f)
Rating/Genre: M (18+); angst, fluff, smut; brother’s best friend au, wedding au, second chance au
Summary: Ever since you left town to pursue your dreams, life has fast forwarded into one big blur. so when you hit pause to attend your brother’s wedding exactly three years later, your brain instinctively resets and rewinds. because you have to spend it with the very person that had been there at the start. the one person you regret leaving behind.
Posting Date: TBD
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Title: A Christmas Fix
Author: @yoonia
Pairing: Taehyung x Reader(f)
Rating/Genre: M (18+), secret baby au, s2l au, fake dating au on the side (more on that later)
Summary: One-night stands are supposed to be nothing more than just. It shouldn’t have involved seeing those two red lines looking back at you weeks later without a name or a contact number linking you back to your mystery man. Nothing more but his face. The unforgettable face that would sometimes appear in your dreams at night. So unforgettable that you immediately recognise him the moment he walks into your family home at Christmas, hand-in-hand with your older stepsister.
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Title: Everwinter
Author: @kithtaehyung
Pairing: Yoongi x Reader(f)
Rating/Genre: M (18+); angst, fluff, smut; ex-fwb 2 lovers au, second chance au
Summary: You told him you loved him, and that was a mistake. Because years later, you both meet up with your old friend group for a holiday trip, and neither of you have forgotten that.
Posting Date: TBD
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Title: Miracle of the Season
Author: @cybrsan
Pairing: Jungkook x Reader
Rating/Genre: M (18+); angst, fluff, smut; angel au, second chance au
Summary: Cast out of Heaven after a painful betrayal, you find yourself having to navigate the intricacies of human life without any guidance from the Creator or the family you have always known. Things only get worse as the holiday season reaches its peak, with reminders of the life you left behind everywhere you look. Just when you think things can’t get any worse, a familiar face pops up and you aren’t sure whether to consider it a blessing or a curse.
Posting Date: December 29th, 2023
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Title: A Porn Star's Guide to the Holidays
Author: @sugaurora
Pairing: Hoseok x Reader(f)
Rating/Genre: M (18+); smut; second chance au
Summary: Jung Hoseok was your first love, a relationship that ended only because your post-high school dreams led you down two very different paths. Yours brought you to Jeon Jungkook, an innovative talent agent promising to produce the most well-loved adult entertainment artists of the era. And that’s how you became an erotic market darling, doing just about everything from outdoor gangbangs to golden showers and a long list of kinks in between.
Ten years later and you’re ready to find a new path, celebrating your exit from the business with one last appearance at the biggest adult industry convention of the year. Only when you arrive, you find yourself unexpectedly face-to-face with your high school sweetheart. Suddenly, you’re forced to confront where the years have taken you and feelings that may have never quite gone away.
What’s a former porn star to do?
Posting Date: TBD
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Text
Boys as young as 14 have been asking their teachers how to choke girls during sex, a teacher has told the BBC.
Dr Tamasine Preece, who teaches at Bryntirion Comprehensive in Bridgend, said some children now felt it was a normal part of sex and asked if "a soft squeeze on the neck is OK".
Health experts said pornography was a key contributor and that there was no safe way to strangle someone.
One woman, Sophie Henson, who was strangled until she passed out, said choking should not be normalised as part of sex.
It comes after warnings following the death of 26-year-old dancer Georgia Brooke, who was choked to death during sex with her boyfriend.
Dr Preece, the school's curriculum lead for health and wellbeing, said there had been questions "creeping in, such as 'How can I choke someone safely?'".
She added: "I’ve certainly been told by some children that they think that girls really want to be choked - with one saying girls are mad for it."
Johanna Robinson, Wales’ national adviser on violence against women and girls, has heard similar examples.
"I’ve spoken to sexual health nurses who told me men in college were asking questions like 'How do I safely strangle my partner?' One young person was quoted to me asking 'What do I do if I need to resuscitate my partner?'.'"
Last year, Sophie Henson was strangled by her ex partner as part of an aggressive situation.
"He gripped me by the throat so tight, I thought I was going to die," said the 24-year-old from Bridgend.
"I felt like a dead fish, my mouth was open, my body was so limp."
Sophie said she felt carrying out the act previously in the bedroom had blurred the lines, making it more acceptable.
"He'd say, 'You liked it 10 minutes ago during sex, why don't you like it now?'"
She's now warning other women to seek out and assess the risks before consenting to it as part of sex.
She said stories of it being normalised among young people were "worrying".
"Everyone is entitled to their bedroom manners, but there's no way it is safe," she added.
"There is a risk factor and it shouldn't be experimented with lightly - do your research and ask questions."
Her ex-partner Zach Pennell was convicted of coercive control and intentional strangulation in January this year.
Dr Preece said conversations needed to include consent and how that must continue throughout sex.
She encourages conversation in her classroom, so teenagers understand consent is needed rather than "just blindly accepting it" and encourages children to talk to their parents as well.
She added: "Rather than just choking specifically we talk about the fact there should be no abuse of any kind in sexual relationships.
"We can shy away from these issues or we can be realistic that they’re happening and making sure that we’re the ones having conversations with our children rather than leaving it to tech companies."
Ms Robinson echoed this message, saying: "How much harm do we need to see happen before we’re brave enough to have these conversations?
"I don’t think young people realise the potential harm - it can take little pressure to cause damage or cause someone to be unconscious.
"Helping young people to understand that is a first step."
Dr Kate Howells, an associate specialist in sexual health, believes more people think strangulation is expected, with "a lot" of young women telling her it had happened to them.
She believes instant access to porn for anyone with a phone is a key factor for it.
"People are watching it from a very young age and, for a lot of young people, it is their first sexual experience and therefore they’re almost looking to porn to learn about sex and what to do to be good at sex.
"If young people are seeing that kind of messaging from pornography rather than loving or caring, respectful messages then they'll think that's what they need to do - whether they feel comfortable with it or not."
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nanaminokanojo · 11 months
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Honey, Oh Sugar, Sugar
JJK men as your sugar daddies and what happens when you tell them you're breaking​ things off cause you've secretly fallen for them and "breached" the contract. Or me just being hung up on the whole concept of sugar daddies cause I don’t wanna work anymore and I need Nanami in my life.
Characters: Nanami, Toji, Gojo x you/afab reader TW/CW: angst | smut/implied smut | sorta dubcon | age gaps | aged up characters | kind fluffy | mentions of alcohol/drugs | some mafia stuff | mdni Word Count: 8.1k
MASTERLIST
NANAMI
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'I can't see you right now.'
Those words glared at you, sharp black slashes that marred the white backdrop of your screen. They may not carry much weight without context, but they broke you a thousand times weighed on you like the sky had fallen over, crushing you as you heard the voice behind the words, making you regret every other choice you've made so far.
They blurred out as tears started to flood your eyes, falling on the device in your hand, but the pain they caused didn't fade in the least. If anything, you felt exponentially worse, enough to make you wish for death. It was more for the fact that you knew it was your fault, a result of your weakness and lack of prudence, your over-estimation of yourself and biting off more than you can chew. 
Still, how were you to know back then? How the fuck were you supposed to know that things would end up making you feel as miserable as you did? How the fuck could you have been able to tell that you'd be wishing to tear yourself away from the only thing that seemed to make your life make sense? 
If you were told that gods existed and walked in Prussian blue button-downs and khaki shorts as they surveyed their domain from the balcony of their private beach houses, you wouldn't have believed it. But Nanami Kento came into your life in that same exact form, a stoic, tall blonde, ten years your senior, successful in all his endeavors but always too busy for anything. 
Nanami Kento was your best friend's neighbor – at least at their beach-front rest house. It was funny how he was supposed to be this well-known yet aloof individual in the community. And yet, the moment you were introduced to him, he purposefully made a way to be around you where you fell into easy conversation with him. Your friend told you their neighbor hardly ever stayed at his summer retreat for longer than two days, popping out one day only to be replaced by the caretakers who would then tell them that "Nanami-san had an emergency business trip." On top of that, he never really showed up when your friend's parents would invite him for whatever, consistently declining politely, but because of you, he finally honored one of their invitations. 
However, it made you wonder what he found so interesting in a university student like you when his life was so much more exciting, being the founder of his own company. He was a bachelor at thirty two, and he's got everything figured out while you were in the final year of your higher education, and you still didn't know what to do with your life. 
The reason became evident when you met him again after insisting that you should before you parted that evening at the beach, even leaving you his calling card. 
How your conversation went from how his work was going and how your studies were to his proposition for you to be basically his sugar baby was something you couldn't fathom at that time. He just went on about coming clean and expressing his real intentions, then later asked you to think about it before dishing out a conversation about how the two of you should meet again to draft the parameters of your arrangement. Nanami later apologized, smiling apologetically for startling you – the biggest understatement of the century – adding that he wasn't one to beat around the bush. 
"I hope I didn't scare you away," he said when dropping you off to campus.
A week later, you signed a contract with him, and then he kissed you, taking your breath away instead of shaking your hand to seal your pact. Everything went smoothly. It seemed a good idea back then. Boy you wished there was a time when you could have been more mistaken in your life. 
You let out a mirthless laugh as you realized you were at the end of the rope regarding Nanami. You cannot handle it anymore when, for the past half year, you've been putting off talking to him about the state of matters from your end. You know you're breaching your agreement, which is a testament to the reality of your liaisons. You failed at keeping it emotionless, evidently, and every single time you think about coming clean and facing rejection, you felt like cowering in fear. 
You already know how binding those agreements were. Nanami had been clear about what he wanted, and you also agreed because you thought you wanted precisely that – an arrangement without commitment, one you can easily get out of without issues. He would not want you if he knew the truth, and although it took far too much strength and courage to accept it, you managed. But now that you have finally decided to speak to him, he tells you he can't be there. Then again, you didn't even have the right to demand his time. 
It came in a cocktail of emotions when you realized you didn't want his money or anything else he had to offer. You only wanted one thing: his heart. Too bad it was off the table. It's not something he offered to ever be in your contract. 
You hated yourself for being weak, for opening up when you should have remained frozen even towards him. But you couldn't help it when your heart started confusing his caring side for actual feelings over his usual acts of reminding you that he was still the older one between you and actually had the responsibility to take care of you whether you've got an arrangement or not.
You sure as hell didn't regret the perks that came with it – trips to any place you could name, things you get with just one word, and the amazing love-making that came with it. Nanami was a great lover. It never just felt like sex in a transactional manner. It always showed how much of a sensitive soul he is, how much he cared for you. But it's not exactly in the way you wanted it.
"I like you, and I enjoy your company, but being me, this is all I can offer at the moment."
Those were his words, and though it's not explicitly written in the contract, you knew it was over when you started perceiving him as the center of your universe. That was no good, and maybe he knew, considering how he had been "too preoccupied" when you said you wanted to talk. Suddenly, he didn't have time for you, but you wanted to tell him of your decision to end matters in person. He deserved that, at least. Nanami was just too good, and you didn't want him to do the guesswork.
That same night, you walked out of the luxury flat he rented for you, packing a bottle of wine, which you ended up drinking at your best friend's house.
You woke up the next day, still groggy from all the alcohol you drank, to the sound of your best friend speaking angrily to someone in hushed tones. She was telling someone off and threatening them about answering if something ends badly, but then you hear your name.
"Y/N's a really sensitive person underneath regardless of what she says," she tells whoever she is talking to. You don't hear the response to her statement, but there was a long pause, and then you hear the front door open and close with her declaration to give this person their space.
It wasn't long before the guest room door opened, and you found yourself face-to-face with Nanami. You motioned to get up, but he shook his head and sat beside you on the bed.
"Why did you leave?" he asked, straight to the point as always. You didn't expect anything less, but you couldn't look him in the eye as you said, "I can't do this anymore." 
Much to his surprise, you started crying the moment you spoke. It was so atypical of you to show him any kind of weakness, always so independent in your actions and words that he felt useless at times, so he found the need to reach out and hold you.
You flinched. "Please don't."
Nanami sighed, running his fingers through his usually perfect hair. For the first time, you notice how it's not fixed the way it should be and how he has dark rings under his eyes, his cheeks a bit sunken. He looked at you, expressions unfathomable, but you saw how he clenched and unclenched his fists.
"Why not?"
His question angered you, that much he could tell, and it was obvious how you were trying your very best to calm down. You sat up and he felt the need to brace himself for whatever you will say.
"I'm ending this...this..."
"Arrangement," he supplied for you, to which you nodded, the sting of that word evident on your face. "Yes, that."
He nodded in understanding, but he stared you down with a pensive look on his handsome face, and you wanted just to run before you fell even harder. "May I at least know why?"
You bit your lower lip, looking elsewhere but him as your eyes filled with fresh tears. You didn't know how on earth you were going to explain it to him in detail, but as he gave it to you straight and simple, you thought it best to do the same. It would be self-explanatory anyway.
Wringing your fingers, you all but whispered, "Kento, I'm in love with you." When he didn't speak, you started rambling on about how you knew things wouldn't change if you said it and that he's got more important things to deal with over your "childish feelings" but that you can't help it.
"Say that again," he told you.
"What?" You didn't realize he had moved closer, his face merely inches from yours and his other arm caging you on your spot.
"The first thing you said. Say it again." He sounded commanding as he was used to, but then he let his forehead rest on your shoulder, feeling defeated. "Please?" he said, sounding small, unsure.
You wiped the tears off your face, sniffling. You've resigned yourself to the bad outcomes of your actions. "I'm in love with you."
"If that's the case, wouldn't you want to be with me?"
"Because you said you could only offer me this arrangement."
At that, he looked up at you, cupping your face with his hands and staring you straight in the eyes, eyes you couldn't lie to. You were somewhat surprised that he didn't have a single clue as to what had been ailing you as perceptive as he was. Then again, maybe you were just too good at hiding it until you weren't, everything hidden behind the smokescreen of your physical intimacy and the pretty smiles you would offer his way.
"Be honest with me. Did it ever feel like it's just that?" he asked cautiously, groping for words.
This time, you couldn't hold back and began tearing up again, your anger finally rearing itself on the surface. "That's exactly the problem!" You pried his hands off of you and stood up. "I can't figure you out, and I don't want to be confused anymore. We had an agreement, I know that, and I'm sorry, but it hurts too much knowing you can give me anything I ask for but not what I want the most."
He also stood up, invading your space and pulling you towards him. He wasn't about to just lose you, not without a fight. Nanami made you look at him, his arm around your waist tight as he commanded your attention but still gentle and giving you your leeway to run if you wanted. You, on the other hand, didn't need much restraining nor convincing as you found yourself looking into his eyes and wanting nothing but to be close and be able to hold him, own him and all that he is, love him, and love him hard, love him over and over again, surrender your heart and let him have you even if you knew he could never give it back.
But all your notions were dispelled with a few choice words. "You never asked."
"I – what?"
"The thing you want the most that you claimed I can't give you. You never asked for it."
Ah. You chuckled without humor. Of course, it's on you for not asking. "Because I can't! That's not how it works. It's not my place to ask. I've no place of that nature in your life."
"Really now, Y/N?" Nanami looked stung, annoyed even, when typically, he wouldn't even show you a disapproving look at your worst behavior around him.
"It's okay. This is on me." You stepped back from him, resigning yourself to the idea of not seeing him again and saying goodbye. "And I know you're busy, so don't worry about me. I just really wanted to tell you personally, at least. I'll be fine."
"I won't be..."
"Stop it! You said so yourself –"
"I said 'at the moment' back then if I remember it correctly?"
You shrugged. "Kento, you don't have to hyper-analyze what you said back then. Don't stress –"
At that, his expressions changed, and he appeared manic, so different from his calm and composed demeanor. "This is stressing me out."
"I'm sorry."
"I love you."
You shook your head. Pity was the last thing you needed, and hearing those words in such a context, even less so. "No, you don't."
"Yes, I do. You can't just assume things like that. And though I detest confrontations like this, I'm prepared to be in conflict with you for it if it means you stay with me."
You smiled ruefully at him, coming closer to hug him, holding onto whatever you could while you still had time, taking in the way he smelled, the way his hair felt against your palms. "You're really too nice. Don't say things like that even if you feel bad for me. You don't have to."
Nanami sighed again, looking absolutely tired, but had it in him to smile despite your words. "Y/N, I just got the shovel talk with your best friend after I told her I love you – rather graphic, too – and you're telling me you don't have a place in my life? I would not even be here if you didn't matter to me. You, of all people, should know that I don't waste my time on things I don't find worthwhile, but I am here, am I not?"
You felt your heart thundering in your chest as you minced his words, unable to process everything at the moment, but you found yourself overwhelmed with joy that your feelings weren't one-sided. "You are."
"But you're right, so let's end this arrangement."
Swallowing hard, you nodded.
"Let's make this the real thing without agreements and roles. What do you say about that?" He tilted his head to have a closer look at you. 
Everything be damned, but you were taking your chances. "Okay," you whispered.
"I love you. I'm in love with you, too. If it's my heart you want, you can have it. It's yours. All yours, my sweet."
You bit your lower lip, fighting a smile as you glanced at him from under your lashes, not trusting yourself to speak.
Nanami leaned his forehead against yours, closing his eyes as he held you closer. "I love you," he repeated.
"I know."
He chuckled. "Now you know. But that's not what I want to hear, Y/N. I said, I love you."
Instead of a response, you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, pulling him close as you stood on your toes to claim his lips with yours, your toes curling as he reciprocated in kind. This one felt different, not like some sort of transaction or a thank you for the things he provides for you. It felt like the real thing...like love.
"Then I love you, too."
TOJI
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"She's an associate, Y/N. Stop being such a brat," Toji tells you the moment he arrived at the penthouse where he was housing you a good hour after you stormed out of the party he was hosting. You looked over your shoulder to find his tall, broad form leaning against the doorpost, arms crossed and...smirking.
"Or are you doing this on purpose 'cause you want daddy to punish you, hmm?"
You scoffed as you angrily wiped your tears, entering the walk-in wardrobe and slamming the door shut. You just wanted to be away from him, be able to think without him influencing your thoughts. If Fushiguro Toji was a drug, he'd most certainly be heroin – absolutely addictive with slim chances to none in terms of recovery, but you still wanted more, more, and some more. And you fell right into that trap, very much aware of it all.
You were a budding freelance journalist who got into a tangle with his organization after a wrong lead. He had been nice to you on the get-go, the understanding and very accommodating kumicho letting Miss Nosey off the hook. You kept running into him after that until one drunken evening at one of his clubs, where he had to rescue you from a guy who couldn't take no for an answer.
He drove you home, and instead of getting out of his car, the two of you got talking, and he started showing you pictures of his adorable son. And after fucking you senseless in that same car, he offered you an arrangement you thought you couldn't refuse at that time.
Slowly, you found yourself weaving into Toji's complicated life and seeing beyond just the ruthless gang leader who showered you with everything and anything he could give. The sky is the limit where Toji was concerned, and he was outrageous about the presents he would give you. But that always came with a catch. He took as much as he gave, probably more, and he was possessive of you. It wasn't healthy how he could do whatever the fuck he wanted while your rewards came with limitations attached to them.
Still, you stayed and got lost in the maze that was the workings of his mind and his personal life, which was just about his little boy. You instantly fell in love with Megumi and, in the process, with Toji himself. You know that now without a doubt, and it scared the living daylights out of you.
That realization came gradually. At first, you chalked it up to just a physical response, inducing chemicals in your head that gave you the illusion and delusion of emotional affection. What's love got to do with it, right? At first, it was little things like wanting to see him at the most random times of the day, missing him, and such. Then it escalated into incremental degrees of possessiveness, which you thought was fair given his inclination to call you his, be that in words while he's balls-deep in you or the way he would suddenly hold onto you with those large hands in the presence of others.
And quite frankly, you seemed to have picked up on that habit the wrong way, learning to reciprocate in the same way. It was messy business at best, but then again, it started just as messy.
The thought and reality of it hadn't felt as real as it did when you saw another woman clutching just as possessively at his arm. It seemed innocent, but seeing those blood-red nails brushing on his muscled arms as if their owner had any right to do it or had probably staked their claim made your blood boil, and your heart break. All the while, in your head, you were repetitively saying, "He's mine. I had him first."
You're in love with him, and that's a fact. Because why else would you be having such intense emotional outbursts over the fact that he was dangling another woman in his arms? It's a fact you didn't want to face anyway. He's supposed to be your sugar daddy, nothing else. It came with its perks, but you're human, and Toji is irresistible in more ways than one and never limited to just how he satisfies you physically. You loved him, his son and everything that he is included.
And you thought it had to stop. He didn't see you that way.
You emerged from the wardrobe, pulling a suitcase behind you, and suddenly, tension filled the air as Toji straightened to his full height, sapphire eyes shifting between you and the luggage. 
"What are you doing?" he asked. Gone was his playful mood from earlier, replaced by something darker. He wasn't expressive, almost always looking bored out of his wits, and his facial muscles only rearranging in minute details to convey change, but it was enough to tell you to be on guard.
You walked towards him, mustering all your courage as you said, "I think we should end this."
"Because you're jealous?" He arched a brow at you. "I already told you –"
You shook your head, reaching up to touch his cheek, smiling as you traced downward before running your thumb against the scar at the side of his lips. While it made him look like a hooligan, you always thought it was a part of his charm. "That's hardly the issue here. As cliché as it is, it's not you; it's me. Thank you for everything, Toji. Give my love to Megumi."
At that, he chuckled. "And you expect me to just sit back with that sorry excuse? What do you take me for?"
Your eyes flashed in anger at the way he was undermining the circumstances. "Toji, I'm serious. It may be a sorry excuse for you, but it's not the same for me."
He stepped closer, looming over you. "So, speak up. Do I look like I'm playing here, sweetheart?"
"I...I can't..."
"What now?" He smirked, but you saw hurt cross his features, making you hesitate. It was too late when you realized you were stuck between a hard place and Toji, literally and figuratively. Your back hit the wall, and a second after, he slammed a palm just beside your head, staring you down. "I'm just a lowlife so I don't even deserve any proper explanation, is that it?"
"What? No! That's the last thing on my mind!" you retorted.
"So what? You're done writing your little reveal-all piece on me, so you're cutting me loose?"
How dare he, you thought. You were faithful to your agreement with him, and not once did you ever think of betraying him like that. Again, you were overwhelmed by the intensity of how you felt for him. You shook your head, trying to hold it in when your feelings were close to slipping out of your lips from the tip of your tongue. You didn't like the way he was looking at you as if you murdered his son and only family, but why were you making him angrier?
"If that's what you want to think, then fine."
"So fucking tell me, woman!"
"You should know by now that your intimidation tactic doesn't work on me," you told him dryly.
"You really are my woman," he says proudly, almost love-struck, but you weren't about to buy it.
"Let me go."
"And if I don't?"
"You wouldn't like what I will do, Toji."
"Oh, is that so?" Toji wasn't a patient man, but he always took his time with you, and that trait of his was proven to you for the first time when, in the next moment, you found yourself upside down after he hauled you onto his shoulder and easily carried you to the bed.
Before you knew it, you were on the mattress, but upon realizing what he was about to do, you started beating him on the chest with your fists, tears spilling out of your eyes. It was futile, you knew that, but you still wanted to get away from him. He easily pinned your hands down, silencing your protests with his lips as he took possession of yours. And just like that, you were docile as a kitten under his mercy and the heat of his touch.
"Do you still wanna leave me?" You just glared at him, your lack of response making him grit his teeth and tear the dress you were wearing off of you.
"Toji, what the – mmph!"
Again, he swallowed your words, his hands roaming over your now naked body. He pulled back only to say, "I'm giving you a chance to talk now, darling. Don't waste it." He then started kissing your neck, going lower and lower, the sounds he was making distracting you. "I'm listening, Y/N. And don't give me another bullshit excuse."
Your misery mingled with the carnal pleasure he was pulling out of you, coming in rivulets of tears as you half-sobbed, half-moaned at the way he was touching everything his hands could reach while he ground his crotch against yours.
"Toji, please stop," you pleaded, and he did, flashing you a pained look. For the first time, it seems that he was showing you the real person behind all the facade, the version of Fushiguro Toji exclusively reserved for Megumi.
He sat on his haunches, looking down at your vulnerable form as you covered your face with your arms and continued to sob. "I-I'm sorry..."
"No. I'm sorry," you answered between deep draws of breath. You weren't crying because of what he was doing. It was more for the fact that you were hurting him as much as your arrangement was hurting you. "But what the hell can I do?"
He hovered over you, prying your hands away from your face as gently as he could and peppering your face with kisses. "What is it, darling? Come on, tell me."
"I broke our agreement..." You looked away from him.
He eyed you quizzically. "And how did you do that?"
"By falling in love with you." You finally met his gaze. "I know you said our liaisons will not go beyond just what we really are to each other, but I couldn't help it. I care for you and Megumi, so much so that I want to be a genuine part of your lives. And it's not my place to ask, so I'm sorry."
To your surprise, he laughed, like really laughed, and you haven't felt so embarrassed in your life after pouring your heart out to him. You wanted the whole place to crumble into a pit and take you with it. 
When he was calm enough, he said, "Fucking finally!"
"What?"
He sighed, leaning down to kiss you on the cheek. "Do you know how long I've waited for you to say that to me?"
You paled but at the same time, you felt your face getting hot, realizing what he meant. "You knew?"
"From the moment it happened, yes. You think you can just walk out on me like that?" He shook his head. "Don't act like you don't know me at all."
"Y-you –" You didn't know what to say, getting up halfway only to be met with a scorching kiss that left you breathless.
Toji undid his pants, letting his cock spring free, and then lifted you onto his lap, holding you close. "I knew you were made for me the moment Megumi's eyes lit up the first time he asked if you were gonna be his new mommy."
"He did?" you asked in muffled tones against the crook of his neck.
"So what do you say? 'Cause I was dying to say yes." He kissed your temple, and underneath, you could feel him preparing to align himself with you.
You pulled away, holding his head between your hands as you looked at him in disbelief. "You were?"
He rolled his eyes. He really wasn't good at this. "Yes, darling. Now, are you still gonna leave me? Us?"
You pouted. "You're not just using Megumi to make me stay, right?" You gasped when he nudged your entrance, knowing he's got you in the bag. "I won't even let you near my son if I didn't want you as much as I do. But I got the best wingman, no?"
You just stared at him in disbelief but he prompted you by thrusting upward and breaking you away from your reverie, a high-pitched moan ripping out of your throat.
"Come on, Y/N. Decide so I can love you as much as you want me to." He grinned deviously at you. "Not that I plan to do otherwise if you decide to go."
"And if I go anyway?"
He smirked. "I don't know, love. I'm yakuza after all."
"Is that a threat?!" You smacked him on the chest, earning you a chuckle and a kiss to your forehead. "Yes. Can I love you now?" he asked and you swore he looked just like Megumi when he would beg you for goodies. So, how can you say no to that?
~*~
GOJO
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"Where have you been?"
The silence you expected to arrive to at the penthouse was broken the moment you walked by the vast living room. You almost dropped the red heels you held when you heard that familiar voice echo through the room, quiet yet deadly.
You visibly froze before turning around to see the owner of the voice. He looked upset, those usually bright orbs of aquamarine having turned into cold, hard gems as they regarded you. The darkness of the room that surrounded him like a miasma didn't help in quelling the tension in the room. If there was one thing Gojo Satoru hated, it's when he is disobeyed, and you flouting his orders and going out to party wasn't an exception. Sure, he doted on you and always showered you with gifts and affection, but being part of his world meant you needed to follow strict rules in exchange for the lavish life he provided for you.
You knew you should not have gone anywhere apart from your university and the place you called home. You knew you should not have given his men trouble by thinking you were at home after you snuck out, but you thought, why not? Gojo wasn't supposed to be back until the following day anyway, "Negotiations," he called them. You didn't want to feel alone in such an empty space, which was becoming more frequent as of late. You understood where he was coming from, but at the same time, you refused to and you wanted to act out.
Choosing to aggravate his foul mood further, you shrugged and attempted to walk past without saying anything, but you effectively stopped when he said, "Stop right there. We're not done talking."
Veering to look at him with the coldest expression you could muster, you retorted, "I went out with my friends. What's the big deal?"
He stood up from his seat, evidently pissed off at your attitude. "I thought I told you. It's dangerous, Y/N. I'm just trying to protect you. What if something happened to you?"
"They're your enemies, Satoru, not mine."
"It doesn't change the fact that they will hurt you if they can!" He had such a menacing look on his face when he was angry which you thought never belonged with those easy smiles and generally perfect visage of his. Someone so beautiful being shrouded in darkness was a violation to nature, and Gojo was just so.
"Well then, maybe I shouldn't have gotten together with you!" you shouted back, throwing your expensive shoes on the floor, imagining it was an extension of him you wished to hurt. "I could be in danger; I understand that. I'm not stupid, but I never cared for any of that as long as I have you, but you're never there! Why should I stay put when you tell me to?"
Gojo was evidently taken aback at your outburst, not believing that this was the welcome he gets after being away. At the same time, he felt guilty and deserving of your harsh treatment of him, feeling his heart sinking at your words. "You'll be safer that way," was all he could say.
You smirked at him, shaking your head. "And lonely. You forgot lonely." You shrugged, walking away from him. "I'm tired."
Having ended up in the bathroom where you found solace from Gojo, you leaned your arms and propped your chin on the rim of the huge tub, staring at the city lights through the glass walls. It seemed like a good idea to get tangled up with an older male who wanted to take care of you at your darkest moments, having been fired from your job and thrown out of your apartment which made you resort to sleeping in your car. 
That's how you met in the first place, making the mistake of parking around the outskirts of the city, hugging a can of pepper spray in your sleep when Gojo and his men decided to make an exchange at the empty parking lot of the warehouse nearby. Safe to say, it went awry when men started to pull out guns.
He took you home after his right-hand man spotted you in the car when your phone lit up at the wrong time. At first, he was suspicious of you, thinking you were an asset for an enemy clan. You were probably traumatized or in utter shock when your first reaction to him after seeing him break someone's neck a few yards from your car was to tell him he was beautiful while also shivering at the thought of how easily those gloved hands could murder you.
Gojo had been straightforward from the get-go, never hiding his intentions the moment he thumbed at your chin, forcing you to behold his beauty in all its glory which was just a bonus with how gentle, kind and caring he was towards you. And you clung to the dark angel who offered you a comfortable life away from the dangers of the streets, even offering to pay for your studies when he found out just how well you did in them. It seemed you were embroiled in more danger than you anticipated, however.
To say that you didn't know what kind of life you have entangled yourself in would be a lie. You knew just what kind of person Gojo Satoru is, his pretty hands and his very name stained in blood. The tattoos that adorned his beautiful alabaster skin were a dead ringer of just what kind of clan he belonged to, and it didn't help that he was surrounded by ruffians like a lone rose in a sea of thorns all the time.
They called him The Prince, even his enemies, and what a fitting name, at least to you with whom he showed his better side and true self underneath the emotionally constipated yakuza overlord that he is. But that was the very thing that broke your heart.
You had an agreement. Blatantly put, you are his pet, and he is your owner who poured money on trinkets he thought would make you happy in exchange for favors. That's it. You give him your body, and you get to have him for all those moments he is available. You wouldn't deny that it was an economically good proposition and beggars probably can never be choosers as was the case for you, but you never anticipated just what a lonely existence it would be on top of it being dangerous when you were deemed his weakness.
What a laugh. You weren't his weakness, not even remotely close. It was all for naught when your life is being put in line because of stupid assumptions his enemies resorted to. You will die if you don't toe the line according to Gojo's standards, and for what? They'd probably think they hurt him, but really, they're just giving him an excuse to go on a rampage, which will be for reasons vastly different from their thoughts.
But more than anything, the most significant matter at stake was your heart, if not your sanity. Letting that information out during your outburst was a faux pas on your part, and you emotionally prepared yourself to leave the kind of life Gojo granted you in the first place. You've fallen for him, and that wasn't a good thing when he made it clear just what purpose you served for him.
The sound of water droplets from the faucet was suddenly interrupted by the glass doors sliding open to accommodate Gojo, who had already changed into a fluffy, white robe, shedding it off as he approached you. You didn't acknowledge his presence and merely watched his reflection through the wall. That didn't deter him from coming into the bathtub behind you and pulling you close.
"Would you please look at me, sweetheart?" he asked, his melodious voice making every fiber of your being tense. He wrapped an arm around you, his breath ghosting over your nape. "Did I make you that upset while I was away? I'm sorry, my pet."
His apology always came with a catch. You didn't have to enumerate them when you're only supposed to understand.
"Still mad at me? What does my Y/N want, hmm?" Gojo started placing kisses on your shoulder, moving upwards to your neck, but before it could cloud your judgment, you moved forward, gently taking his arm off of you, much to his dissatisfaction. He sighed, letting you have your space. "What's the problem?"
You hugged your knees to yourself, feeling the coldness of the air when you lost contact with him. "It's not something you could fix by kissing me." As if on cue, you absently scooped some soapy water and rubbed it over the areas he touched.
Being the brat used to having his way, Gojo scoffed. "Are you literally washing away my kisses?" It's just like him to ask about the trivial things when he feels like it. He reached out to touch you when you didn't answer but stopped when you flinched. He immediately turned serious, the air around you becoming charged with tension. "Y/N, will you please tell me what's bothering you?"
"You are."
"What?"
You leaned your forehead on your knees, feeling vulnerable to the whole world as you calmed your inner turmoil and tried to put in words how you felt, how things would end by your hand before he casts you away.
"I breached our contract."
Silence followed your words, and those mere seconds of pause felt like an eternity as you feared the worst. But then he said, "Will you elaborate on that?"
You lifted your head, throwing it back as you closed your eyes, taking a deep breath. "I know I don't have any right to be demanding things from you, least of all hold it against you when I miss you in your absence."
"You miss me?"
"But I have no control over how I started feeling the way I do, becoming more pronounced whenever you're not with me. We had an agreement, I know that, but because I broke it, I guess I'll have to take it upon myself to end this."
"End what?" He straightened up, his blue eyes filling with dread. "What – what are you talking about?" He sounded angry this time but like that of an animal cornered as opposed to being the hunter.
You looked at him from over your shoulder. "I'm leaving you, Satoru."
A mix of emotions started to take shape with every nuance in his expression, as if he could not make up his mind about how he would feel about what you just said. For a split second, he looked at you as if you had obliterated his whole being, but then he calmed down, massaging the point between his blue eyes.
"I'm sorry, but I can't do this anymore. I know my role, and I should just walk away before it gets out of hand."
"What role?"
You laughed without humor. "I am, in essence, just your sugar baby, Satoru. You give me things that you see fit. I don't get to demand anything from you."
"Is that how you see yourself?" His tone was scathing but calming at the same time. It makes things easier for you.
"Let's not pretend anymore, okay?"
"So what exactly are you telling me?"
"Do I have to spell everything out for you?" you asked in exasperation, your tears finally dripping from your eyes.
He let up on the harsh expression on his face upon seeing them. "Y/N, baby, don't cry. Please. I just need you to explain. I deserve at least that when you're telling me you want to –"
"I love you, Satoru." You smiled at him through your tears, the most sincere one you gave his way since you realized how you felt.
"You do?"
"I don't regret it regardless of the consequences."
"Y/N, I'm confused."
You didn't address that. Gojo was probably one of the most brilliant people you knew, but it was always easy to feign ignorance, regardless of that. Without addressing it, you motioned to get out of the tub, wondering where you'll start with packing, but then almost everything you owned was technically Gojo's. It would be easy, you thought.
"Anyway, you know now. I should go." 
Gojo wasn't having any of it. He stopped you, pulling you towards him. "You just told me you love me, and you're leaving me behind?"
You blinked. "Am I...not supposed to?"
Gojo smirked at you. "What makes you think you can just walk away now that I know?"
You sank into the water, creating splashes in your wake. You didn't know how to feel about that. It was a choice between succumbing to that false sense of security you learned to accept during the three years you've been with him or relief over the possibility that he reciprocated your feelings. However, before you could even decide, Gojo chose to addle your brain by leaning in and taking possession of your lips, giving you no choice but to melt and submit to his touches.
It was passionate as usual, setting every ounce of your existence aflame while his hands roamed around every inch of your skin, marking his territory. You appreciated that about him, not holding back and giving you what you wanted without inhibitions, but you've always accepted that what you wanted the most, he could never ever give. You've resigned yourself to that fact, and yet, whenever he touches you, you are convinced otherwise because his actions always contrast his words. You hated how hope started to grow in your chest, and although he quickly turned you on, you fought against it and pulled away from him.
"N-no. Stop."
"Why?" He looked at you, kiss-drunk and dazed.
"I can't do this anymore. I'm not going to force you to be beholden to me." You inched backward. "Just let me go."
Gojo clucked his tongue, sighing profoundly and covering his face with his hands in utter frustration. "What have I done?"
You shook your head. "It's not your fault."
"No..."
It was your turn to reach out to him, forcing his hands off of his face as you kneeled before him. "Satoru, you can hardly be blamed for how I feel. It's okay. I am not mad at you."
"Yeah, but I sure as hell am mad at myself." He let you take his hands but immediately reversed roles and held your hand in his. "Oh, Y/N. My sweet, sweet Y/N." His broad shoulders drooped down. "It's my fault why you're doing this right now for making you feel like you had to toe boundaries with me where your emotions are concerned."
"We signed a contract..."
He lifted his hand to tenderly graze your cheek, his icy blue eyes showing that misplaced warmth you've become familiar with even when he made someone beg for mercy. Gojo Satoru always shone brilliantly amid the darkness that surrounded him. You gravitated towards that light no matter how twisted it was.
"This is my doing."
"No –"
"But it's true." He smiled sadly at you. "I know what I am, and I am so deep in it that nothing could right the wrongs I've done. That contract was supposed to be a shield for you against me, Y/N, not the other way around."
"What?" Now you're confused.
"The moment you called me beautiful despite seeing what you did all those years ago, I knew I had to have you with me to have someone to see past the fear I instill in anyone who crosses paths with me." He shrugged. "I didn't want you to feel like you had to feel for me, nor did I want you to feel responsible for anything that involves me. I'm not so cruel that I'll subject you to that, but it's too late, no? I put you in danger, and you don't owe it to me that I am protecting you or giving you everything I thought you would want while keeping a safe distance. Turns out I've hurt you more."
You were taken aback, to say the least.
"But I do care for you more than I can admit or fathom." He beamed disarmingly as he tucked a stray strand of hair behind your ear. "I am in too deep, and maybe I should just accept that I do love you."
"Satoru..." 
"I love you, Y/N. Words are cheap, and it may be too late, but I really do." He placed his head on your shoulder as he embraced you, holding you tight, skin on skin. "But if you want to leave, I will let you. I will not be selfish and ask you to stay with me. I want you to do whatever you think is best for you without thinking of me."
Laughter wanted to escape from your throat, not because of mirth but from relief. But with that came the realization that you weren't free anymore, not where Gojo was concerned. He's setting you free, but the lock to your prison wasn't his to hold in the first place. You held yourself captive to him in the first place, locked yourself in, and threw the key away. Knowing he reciprocated your affection towards him just sealed you in a reinforced vault, dunked into the deepest trenches of the ocean that was his warmth. How the hell were you supposed to leave him now when you mistakenly thought you were grasping at straws when he was shackled to you all along?
Shrugging, you wrapped your arms around him, shaking your head at your foolishness. At this point, saying you didn't know what you were getting yourself into is a big, fat lie, and it was probably one you will never make the mistake of doing anyway, unable to deny yourself of what you wanted...what you needed.
"You really are a piece of work," you muttered.
"What did I do?" he whined like a child. In such moments, you almost always forget he was shy of a year to a decade older than you.
You chuckled, returning his words to him. "What makes you think you can just walk away now that I know?" 
Gojo's head snapped up, now wearing a cheeky grin as he regarded you, his hands climbing up the back of your thighs before cupping your bare ass. "Is that so? I'm letting you do what you want, Y/N."
You scoffed. He's back to his usual self, toying with you, but you see the subtle difference in how he deals with you. "I am doing what I want right now."
"Going once..."
You relaxed in his hold.
"Twice?"
"No."
His expression turned dark, eyes hazy with lust as he drew you closer, making you sit directly on his half-hard cock. "You can't complain after this, you are aware, my love?"
Ah, the sound of that endearment rolling out of his tongue was music to your ears. Winding your arms around his neck, you leaned forward and ground your hips against his, relishing the soft groan that escaped his lips at the pressure. "Where do I sign?"
He pointed at his lips. "It's a lifetime agreement, mind you."
You wasted no time sealing your new pact, crashing your lips against his, a kiss that was sloppy at best, excitement and a mix of love and lust heavy on your tongue as you sought his, reveling in the taste of him which felt like the first time. Gojo was almost always dominant, but he didn't seem to mind that you were taking the lead this time, asserting your claim over him, unable to resist now that you've both gotten what you wanted from each other.
"Lucky for you, I don't want out."
~*~
I had fun with these. Wonder if I should do Geto, Sukuna and Choso as well... A little treat to quell the time I'm taking off of writing my ongoing Gojo smau cause I lost all my fucking files. Yay, me!
© ORIGINAL WORK BY nanaminokanojo. CHARACTERS ARE INSPIRED BY GEGE AKUTAMI'S JUJUTSU KAISEN. [20231019]
PHOTO/IMAGE/GIF/FANART/ANY MEDIA CREDITS TO THE RESPECTIVE OWNERS.
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theroyalyandere · 1 year
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yandere prince trying to denied the fact that he was abso-fucking-lutely obsessed with female servant reader. this man is in his denial stages. he's always shouting at the female servant reader that she was just a peasant and he was a god (we all know he is fuckng delusional but since its a yandere well then its not so suprising.) and the peak is when at one time the prince caughting the female servant reader being too close to the other prince who was visiting his palace. so when he caught up the female servant his jealousness began to rise as much as the rage he's feeling and he immediately pulled her away from the other prince, and then he bring her to his fancy chamber and yk, they fuck while the prince say "fuck i'm.. i'm so fucking in love, fuck.. you're mine now, yeah, yeah you're mine." and the female servant reader is only muttered "no" and "please" repeatedly. please make this noncon, the darker the fics, the better.
yandere!prince x female servant!reader smut 18+
cw: reader has a vagina, delusional yandere, noncon, obsession, jealousy, toxic relationships, male masturbation, humiliation, dacryphilia, drowning, punishments, spanking, groping, power imbalance, cucking (oops), a little god complex maybe???, mentions of children/pregnancy, slapping.
a/n: I put so many warnings please tell me if I missed something. Also I added more elements in this if you don't mind!
you've been working for a while as a servant to the royals and most of the time you attend to the prince because of his request
you do not know why he chose you out of all people he's the one who chose you yet you find yourself always receiving his anger and him shouting at you
the prince loves to humiliate you in front of everyone and you chose to bear it instead of losing your head if you ever snapped
he would often spill his drink on purpose, asking you to lick the liquid on the floor where everyone will see
he would also give you the most complicated tasks leaving you exhausted by the time you complete each you do not know why he torments you this much but he does it out of love, he thinks he loves seeing you on your knees, that desperate look on your face, the way your face falls when he insults you, he thinks you look so pretty and pathetic
he wants to lock you in a dungeon where only him has access to
he would often sneak to your quarters where sometimes you cry out of frustration
he gets hard at the sight of your tear stricken face, he would often close his eyes and masturbate to the thought of you crying underneath him it never fails to make him cum every single time
he tells himself he is not attracted to you yet his territorial nature over you says otherwise
he despises it even if you're a second late after he asked for you
the prince is the one who often delivers punishments when you fail to do something or displease him in any other way (which is all the time)he would bend you over and spank your ass until it's all swollen and your eyes filled with tears, groping you in the process after your punishment you always end up sobbing making his heart flutter with the way you look at him with those doe eyes
the prince can't help himself but be soft on you which can be rare however when he softly kisses your tears away it always leaves you confused then he would later shift back to his cruel self
his torment would continue until..he dragged you away to accompany him to walk beside the pond, he purposely dropped an item of his onto the water and ordered you to get it for him
you reluctantly lean down to the pond to reach for the object then suddenly you were pushed into the water
you watched as everything became a blur the prince looking down at you, just watching you struggle
you flail your arms and try to swim with your might
you keep shouting for help but no one could her you nor help you
as you start losing consciousness, you hear another splash before you faint from exhaustion
you wake up on a bed with people surrounding you, your vision blurry and a head that felt like cotton
you groan out from the aches and pain in your body
you blink to see who was arguing right infront of you
as your vision clears up, you see the prince arguing with someone unfamiliar.
the other person scans your condition and his eyes land on yours
he immediately walks closer towards you despite the prince's protests
he introduces himself as the prince of the neighboring kingdom
he treats you gently like a fragile glass and asks how you were
too lost into his kindness, you fail to acknowledge your prince's presence
you continued to respond to the questions thrown your way while the possessive prince walked out
for the times you were recovering, the kind and gentle prince kept visiting you. always having a bouquet of flowers or food in hand for you.
you slowly became closer to him as he extended his stay to get you even more as his new friend.
you introduce him to a bunch of stuff that doesn't exist yet at his kingdom.
your attention and time preoccupied by the kind hearted prince. you feel at peace, almost living a fairytale life.
meanwhile, everyone else is walking around egg shells when your possessive prince crosses their way
his tantrums got even worse as he watches you go on a date with the foreign prince.
he tried a different bunch of ways to sabotage the other but he always failed.
as he sees how your face glows with happiness he slowly comes to a conclusion that he loves you, after so many times denying it and now he admits how much he wants to touch you, kiss you, and make you his.
he remembered that all he wanted was you and seeing you so happy with another is making his dark intentions come out to light.
he's supposed to be the only one you treat with respect, you should be looking at him and only him. he should be the one you're worshipping and he's about to make you pay.
later that day, after you were escorted by the prince you've come to acquainted with gently kissed your hand before you enter your chambers.
you turn around with a soft smile on your face as you reflect on the events that happened.
you let out a gasp as you see who's sitting at the foot of your bed.
he smiles menacingly as you get stuck in place while he walks towards you.
your knees trembling from fear seeing how dark his eyes look.
you let out a whimper as he corners you and he presses a handkerchief to your face before you fall unconscious.
you wake up tied to his bed in the grand chamber.
you look across you and see your beloved prince tied on a chair with a gag on his mouth, protesting to set him free.
your eyes tear up at his predicament, as you look to the side the possessive prince, the one you despise the most walk over you like a vulture about to gobble up his prey.
you shout profanities at him and ask him to let you go.
it turns him on seeing the flame in your eyes.
he only let's out a dark laugh.
"you think you can live without me? running away with your prince like a happily ever after. but that's alright I'm here to make you realize that you belong to me."
he crawls over you as you try to kick him but the chains restrain you, he gropes your legs, thighs, stomach, then your chest.
burying his face into your breasts as he looks up at you.
"I can't wait to claim you with my child in your womb."
you cry and shout to get away from you but he only kisses and marks you roughly while the one you love watches you get ravaged by the other.
tears stream down your face as he licks your cheek.
he rips your clothes leaving you naked.
the prince forces your legs open before taking out his hard member.
he pulls you towards him as you try to get away but he was too strong.
he looks behind him and rub his cock against your swollen pussy.
"watch as I take her, maybe that should teach you not to touch what's not yours."
with that, he thrusts into your cunny with a groan while you let out a wail of pain
he doesn't let you adjust as he grabs your throat pinning you down onto the bed brutally fucking you.
"No- p-please!! stop!"
tears cloud your vision as your breath lessens from the way he's squeezing your air pipe.
you slowly stop thrashing as you grow tired and come to accept your fate.
you keep crying as he takes you by force.
he slaps your cheek noticing how you seem to lose focus.
"You're all mine you hear me? I love you so fucking much, can't you see that?"
he mushes your lips together and kisses you hungrily.
the prince changes your position so you can see your beloved's reaction at your defilement.
he watches you wide eyed, tears also streaming down his face as he helplessly watches you.
the one ramming behind you pulls you close to him with your back against his chest.
"No one can take you away from me now, you're mine forever."
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