#and actively blamed me as the problem when ***** was calling out every weekend to avoid working w me

[imjustconfuseddd]

.

[merminns]

Bad influence

Fred Weasley x Reader

❧ Content: fluff, just the Weasley Twins and Lee being trouble makers

❧ Word count: 1.8k

❧ Notes: this is a repost from my old blog

It has been a calm, peaceful morning. It was finally the weekend after a long tiring week. You had agreed to spend the morning with your friends in your dorm to make up for the lack of time you spent together during the week, then the rest of the day is reserved for your boyfriend, who has grown restless over the lack of attention you’ve been giving him.

The sun was giving off enough warmth as you walked through the hallways to where you and Fred agreed to meet. Your walk held an air of blissful silence that you rarely ever get. Being a student in Hogwarts and dating one of the infamous Weasley twins, ‘peace’ and ‘silence’ aren’t words that usually made it into your daily vocabulary.

You love Fred, so much that it sometimes feels unbelievable, but sometimes you just long for some peace after all the chaos that comes with dating him.

Unfortunately for you, today wasn’t a day where peace would find its place. Your peaceful walk was cut short when you noticed all the noise in the hallway ahead of you. You walked closer to the noise, only to come face to face with a chaotic scene.

The first thing you noticed how the hallway was unusually filled with students. It was very unlikely for this number of students to be packed in one place on the weekend. But that wasn’t even the problem. Almost every student was on the ground struggling to stand, and those standing seemed to be struggling with keeping their balance.

The chaos should have been enough for you to stop in your tracks, but the confusion you felt kept you moving forward. Before you knew it, your feet were slipping fast. The world started spinning as you lost all balance and you closed your eyes in preparation for your awkward fall.

But the cold hard surface of the ground didn’t come. Instead, you felt an arm wrap quickly around your waist as you were pulled into a broad chest. Your eyes opened cautiously to meet the familiar red sweater with a golden ‘F’ in the center.

“Fancy meeting you here,” your gaze shifted upwards to come in level with your boyfriend’s grinning face “Seems like you quite literally fell for me.”

Despite the panicked state you were in a few seconds ago, you couldn’t help but roll your eyes at Fred’s silly comment as he helped steady you on the slippery floor. It’s not even a surprise he is here, wherever chaos is Fred was sure to be found.

“Let me guess, you’re responsible for this.” you stated. Chaos and Fred in one place, it’s only reasonable to assume he caused the chaos rather than just be there. Fred confirmed it when his goofy grin turned into a smirk. A smirk matching those on George’s and Lee’s faces as they waved to you from where they stood behind Fred.

“We figured a spell to wax the floor without making it obvious,” he replied proudly “here, have some fluffy socks, they should do the trick.”

Of course, it is never possible to spend a single boring moment when these three are around. “Wax the floor don’t you think that’s k—”

“MR WEASLEY!”

The booming voice unmistakably belonged to professor McGonagall. You felt the little hairs on the back of your neck stand on end.

It won’t be hard for her to figure what was going on, and despite usually living up to their pranks, the trio was in serious trouble this time. It’s not even about this silly prank, it’s more about the amount of trouble they get themselves into.

These three had been getting into plenty of trouble lately. Some Slytherins think it’s funny to tail after them and inform the closest professor about their newest prank. The number of house points they lost was horrifying. It even reached the point where they were threatened that if they were found causing more trouble, they’d be forbidden from joining any quidditch activities till the end of the year. So they agreed that if they ever got caught again, the first action of defense is to escape.

Out of the corner of your eyes, you could see George and Lee taking baby steps away from the scene to avoid getting into trouble, leaving you and Fred into the direct line of fire.

Fred, whose arm was still wrapped around your waist, tried to retreat as well, dragging you with him before McGonagall’s figure is close enough to prevent your escape. And it would have worked, had it not been for your clumsiness.

You managed, with the help of the waxed floor, to trip over your own feet. This time no one was there to break your fall. You fell face first dragging Fred and a couple of the standing students along with you, leaving you trapped under a mass of bodies.

By the time you recovered from the fall, professor McGonagall’s stern face was towering over you, wand in her hand, and the ground beneath you had lost its waxiness.

“Care to explain, Mr. Weasley?”  

It’s common for you to not be one of those held responsible for such chaos. You were always known to be the goody-two-shoes. The model student, one who’d never cause any trouble.

It was even a common wonder to Hogwarts how you ended up with a trickster like Fred. No one had any idea that sometimes, you would be the mastermind to one of the trio’s pranks. Only a select few knew that you could cause a lot more trouble than Fred could.

But now, Fred was the only one around to blame for the complete chaos and the coupe of minor injuries caused by the silly prank. You know there’s no way for him out of this one. He’d be prevented from playing quidditch.

The thought filled you with an uneasy feeling. You know how much he loves the sport, separating him from his broom was like taking away part of him. And a glance at your boyfriend’s face was enough indication that he is thinking the same.

“It’s my fault!” you said before Fred could open his mouth to speak. Now, you aren’t any good at lying, and McGonagall wouldn’t just believe that a ‘perfect’ student such as yourself could cause so much trouble.

You slowly reach for your wand and hold it up. "I was trying to practice a new spell but it went wrong.”

You definitely are not a good liar but you had no choice here. Lying is your only way out of, or rather, into trouble.

“See, professor?” you said with a shy smile “Fred was just trying to help me… I’m sorry for causing trouble.”  

If your lie wasn’t obvious, then the incredulous look on Fred’s face was enough evidence that you’re lying. It was very clear to McGonagall you are trying to get your boyfriend out of trouble.

A brave move. And if McGonagall admired anything in the world it is small brave actions like this.

You could see a tiny smile on her face. She can call you out for your lie and punish Fred. But she couldn’t bring herself to let your effort go to waste.  The only downside? Someone has to be punished, especially because of the audience of students watching the scene, and you choose to be that someone.

Detention is boring, a complete waste of time and energy. But you’re thankful McGonagall was going easy on you. Having detention where you just sit around practicing transfiguration spells over and over again is so much better than any other outcome that could have taken place.

Though if Fred thinks he’s off the hook after this, he’s dead wrong. How dare he get himself into enough trouble that you’d have to go through detention to save his ass. You’re going to have to watch over him, he can’t get into any more trouble! And you just want to spend more time with him.

Your train of thoughts was rudely interrupted when a loud knock sounded at the closed door of the almost empty class. As McGonagall got distracted by whoever’s at the door, you caught movement through the corner of your eyes.

You shifted your attention to where the movement came from to see Fred waving at you from behind a statue placed at the far corner of the room, a wide grin covering his face as he motioned for you to come over. You mentally facepalmed, this is only getting you into deeper trouble.

You slowly inched closer to where your boyfriend was hidden out of McGonagall’s sight. He waited until you were close enough to pull you into him behind the statute.

“What are you doing? We’ll get in trouble?” you whispered as he crouched to the ground to pull on an almost invisible trap door. “What the hell?! When did this get here?”

“Shut up, you’ll get us caught!” he whispered back as he helped you down through the trap door and jumping in after you.

You walked through a dark tunnel the only light coming from Fred’s wand. You mattered a quick ‘Lumos’ to allow yourself more light. The walk wasn’t comfortable; the space was cramped and dark and completely unfriendly. Only kept moving thanks to Fred’s encouragement until you noticed another source of light ahead of you. As you walked closer you could see another trapdoor wide open above your heads.

As you walked closer, you noticed a hand reaching down to help you out of the claustrophobic space and into a dusty classroom that seems like it has been deserted for quite a while. The room was empty, aside from you and George who was now helping his brother up.

You waited until George closed the trapdoor and pulled a small worn out rug over it before you turned to your boyfriend.

“Before you ask, yes, we used the map” Fred beat you to it as he started explaining their little plan to help you escape.

Lee acted as a distraction as Fred helped you escape, George was to help you out of the trapdoor and then leave to notify Lee that the plan worked.

Your goofy little boyfriend managed to come up with a plan to ‘get you out’ of detention along with these two troublemakers. It won’t be long before McGonagall notices your absence, but your detention was just for show anyway, you doubted she’d punish you for this.  

But this was still escaping detention and it’s something that you never thought you’d ever do. You never even got in detention before you started dating Fred. You were never a saint, you liked to do be a little mischievous sometimes, but you always managed to keep your front as the model student.

But now, your beloved boyfriend was slowly turning you into a troublemaker as well, but you couldn’t say that you didn’t enjoy every exciting moment you spent with him.  

Masterlist | Share thoughts with me ☺

[rosemarypasta]

monday afternoons ♡ 7

➤  pairing : oikawa tooru x female reader (karasuno manager)

➤  chapter warnings : slowburn (?)

➤  summary : You just recently joined the Karasuno boy’s volleyball team as their first year manager. As you grow closer to your teammates, you also unexpectedly grow closer to one of their biggest rivals, Oikawa Tooru

➤ chapter word count: 2090

♡ masterpost ♡

-ˏˋ chapter seven ˊˎ-

MONDAY

5:50 PM

“Shall we head home then?” Oikawa smiled. You grinned as a reply. He expectedly extended his hand towards you and you gladly took it.

Three months have passed and a lot has happened though nothing out of the ordinary occured. You got drowned by high school assignments and responsibilities, the Karasuno boys trained harder than ever to reach nationals, you joined them for a weekend-long training camp in Tokyo, and most importantly, you have been hanging out with the Seijoh captain on an almost weekly basis now.

You wished to hang out with him every Monday but to not blow your cover, you forced yourself to attend some Monday practices, hoping the team wouldn’t catch on to your pattern and find out what you’ve been doing all this time. Though, you tried to not worry as much, remembering how nearly half of the team are simple minded and would probably never catch on. Besides, you had a variety of excuses to use so you’ve never ditched practice without a convincing reason.

“Man, that plot twist was unreal!” Oikawa reminisced about the movie the two of you just saw as you walked back home, hands still connected. Your eyes wandered to your intertwined hands. You remembered the first time you held hands with him. It was after one of your dates a month ago and when he extended his hand for the first time you didn’t know what he was doing so you started a second too long before he burst out laughing, telling you to take his hand on the way home. You can’t help but feel your cheeks heat up when recalling that embarrassing moment but you couldn’t help it. He was the first guy you’ve done this to anyway so it was an inevitable and natural reaction.

You looked up to his bright and smiling face. Though everything seems to go smoothly, you can’t help but tend to the problem you had in mind in the back of your head. It has been over three months since he asked you to the first date but little to no romantic progress has been made. You were confident that Oikawa didn’t dislike you, afterall, he’s the one that keeps on making plans with you and the two of you surprisingly had good chemistry with each other so how has three months passed without a confession? The only thing that has changed was the fact that you two now hold hands occasionally but it wasn’t enough.

Though at times you question your own romantic standards. Perhaps you’ve watched too many romance films that it started to give you a false sense of relationships. Besides, Oikawa is the experienced one of the two so you figured the pace the two of you were going was realistic. You weren’t the protagonist of a romance novel anyway.

Maybe slow is good. Maybe in real life standards, this isn’t even that slow.

5:55 PM

“Tsukishima!” Sugawara called, tossing the ball right in front of the net.

Tsukishima complied happily. He ran up to the net, jumped with all his might and with a sharp flick of his arm, he slammed his palm hard against the ball, spiking it down to the opponent’s side of the court.

“Tsukki! Nice kill!” Yamaguchi’s voice rang from the sidelines as the tall blonde descended from the air after spiking a ball through Hinata and Kageyama’s double block. Coach Ukai’s whistle went out, announcing the victory of Tsukishima, Sugawara, and Asahi in one of their many three on three matches of the day.

Tsukishima watched his stinging red hand. It hurted but it oddly felt satisfying. He was oddly active in practice that day and he knew he wasn’t the only one who noticed his change of behaviour but no one made snarky comments so he didn’t mind. He oddly craved doing spikes more than usual as he figured hitting something or anything hard enough will ease his pent up anger. Tsukishima pretends he doesn’t know why he was feeling tense but deep down, he knew what he was feeling. He just thought voicing his actual concern would be pathetic.

Tsukishima brought the collar of his T-shirt up to his nose and wiped the sweat off his nose. His eyes wander to the barren bench beside the score board, only occupied by the raven haired manager. He clicks his tongue at the sight.

“Tsukki? What’s up?” Yamaguchi trailed his scowling best friend, his hands full with volleyballs. “Huh? What’s going on? Tsukishima’s mad?” The mini sized middle blocker shadowed the taller green haired one, a folded net in his hands. Tsukishima debated whether voicing his concern to his simpleton teammates would even benefit him in the slightest.

“He’s mad? What’s new?” The dark haired setter mumbled behind Hinata, which ticked Tsukishima off even more than before. “Well don’t you think it’s kind of suspicious how miss manager is always gone on Mondays?” His tone was sharp with no doubt in his voice but to his disappointment, his three fellow first years had a blank expression on their faces.

“You mean Y/N?” Kageyama replied to his bitter dialogue with an eyebrow raised. Tsukkishima opened his mouth to talk further but the raw stinging of his hand reminded how energy deprived he was now and figured it was impossible to get these kinds of things past their thick skulls so resolved to closing his mouth back again.

“Y/N-san is visiting the dentist today right? Daichi-san mentioned it earlier, Tsukki.” Yamaguchi cheerfully patted the taller boy on the shoulder, thinking he was informing his dear friend. The blond stared at his innocent and oblivious friend. Out of the three, he figured Yamaguchi would at least be the one to meet him halfway on his accusation but he watched as his childhood friend skipped off to the storage room to put the balls away for the day.

Tsukkishima was disappointed, but certainly not surprised.

6:02 PM

“Yeah so Iwa-chan hit me on the head a bit too hard and we had to cancel practice that afternoon cause they all had to rush their precious captain to the school infirmary!” He chuckled, to which you burst out laughing. “Ah, what a shame, we’re almost home. I was about to tell you what I made Iwa-chan do to make it up to me after all that ruckus.” Oikawa sighed as the neighbourhood park began to loom closer.

“Don’t worry, you can tell me next week.” You hummed, swinging your connected hands. “Sure.” Oikawa smiled.

It was the perfect way to end a date. The chain of giggles, the warm sunset, the cold afternoon breeze, and an unexpected visit from your volleyball teammate.

Wait.

An unexpected visit from your volleyball teammate?

Your eyes widened at the sight of the familiar towering blond boy, leaning against one of many vending machines available throughout the neighbourhood. Right as you noticed him, his eyes which were previously fixated on his phone, raised up and met yours as if he was waiting for you to arrive.

“So, how many cavities did the dentist say you have?” He spoke through gritted teeth with a rare smile on his face.

TUE 5:34 PM

The day after you got busted by Tsukishima, he has been trying to corner you all day long.

Morning practices, in between classes, lunch break, and after school practice. It was easy to avoid him during morning practices since you were around the guys and you never left Shimizu’s side and during school hours you stuck with Yachi. But now that practice is coming to an end and everyone is dispersed all around the gym cleaning up, you crossed your fingers that you didn’t get dragged out by Tsukishima.

You tried your best to clean up as fast as you could, even going out of your way to help Kageyama out with his tasks so the two of you could zoom out of practice immediately. You rushed in the storage room after finally mopping the floor clean from the sweat the boys accumulated. You were about to store the mop in your hands and drag Kageyama out of the gym but a tall looming figure appeared behind you.

“We finally get the chance to talk, hm? Y/N-san?” Tsukishima said in a low voice through gritted teeth, evidently pissed off from being avoided the whole day.

“I-Is there something wrong, Tsukishima?” You managed to breathe out, still clenching to the mop, not realizing that your knuckles had turned white. A mixture of guilt, anger and shame bubbled up. You didn’t know what to do and what to say. All you felt like doing was to cry but what for? It’s certainly not anyone’s fault but yours for lying to your team. Tears began to well up but you blinked them down. You couldn’t blame Tsukishima for being upset, you deserved a yelling or two and you knew how bad it looked from an outsider’s point of view how the scene of a towering boy cornering a seemingly crying girl. You bit your lip hard, trying to suppress the hot tears accumulating from your frustration and disappointment at yourself.

But as if the whole world was playing a prank on you, the expected happened.

“Tsukishima what the hell?” The raven haired setter barked. Tsukishima looked back with the same half-lidded look on his face, his hands still in his jacket pockets. “What?” His monotone voice spoke. He opened his mouth to speak more but instead got slammed against the wall, his shirt balled into Kageyama’s fist. The sudden action knocked the shelf beside them and made certain equipment come crashing to the ground.The chaos brought the attention of the whole team, Daichi, Hinata and Tanaka rushed into the room head first.

“Kagey-” You attempted to say.

“What the hell is up with you? Don’t think I didn’t notice you eyeing Y/N all day? I can get why you despise me but what the hell did Y/N ever do to you?” He spat, his face was just inches away from the tall middle blocker.

Tsukishima’s lips pressed into a smirk, unfazed by his teammate’s outburst. “Man, King-sama, first it was slamming Hinata to the ground and now me to the wall? I knew your words were harsh but I didn’t know your actions wouldn’t be a one time thing.” He spoke, his eyes locked on the setter. “You always complain about me not giving my all in practice but what about miss Y/N here hm? A king should always practice equality on his subjects.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I knew you were lacking some screws up there but I never knew you would be this dense.” His lips now pressed into a forced smile. He laid his hand on Kageyama’s fist and yanked it hard, forcing him to release his now wrinkled shirt. “Well, here’s a hint to get your idiotic brain a jumpstart, haven’t you ever wondered why Y/N keeps on skipping Monday practices?”

“Monday as in yesterday? Y/N had a dentist appointment right?” Hinata’s bright voice out of nowhere spoke, making the two boys’ heads turn to the overcrowded storage room entrance.

“If you count playing hooky with Oikawa-san as a visit to the dentist, then yes, sure.” Tsukishima replied through his gritted teeth, trying his best to not insult the oblivious middle blocker even more.

“Oikawa? As in Oikawa from Seijoh? How’d you know?” Nishinoya chimed in, sticking his head into the room in curiosity with his eyebrows furrowed. Everyone’s eyes turned to you. “I happen to be walking through Y/N’s neighbourhood yesterday and bumped into them all giddy and holding hands.” Everyone’s eyes turned to you. You didn’t know what to say. All you could do was admit it at this point but none of the words were coming out.

“Is that true, Y/N?” Daichi’s calm demeanor made your guilt settle deeper into your chest. You nodded slowly. You couldn’t bring yourself to make eye contact with any of them. You feel like you have disappointed them.

“Why Oikawa? That no good pretty boy probably got other gir-”

“Tanaka!” Daichi barked.

“What if he’s just dating Y/N to get back at Kageyama?”

Hinata’s innocence blurted the thoughts that everyone feared to be true. The momentary chaos in the dark storage room came to a stop and as this realisation hit you, hot tears started to run down your cheeks.

next:  -ˏˋ chapter eight ˊˎ-

previous:  -ˏˋ chapter six ˊˎ-

[pettyrevenge-base]

Plumbing Instructor was rude to me, so I let his shop fail safety inspection and get a write up

This happened my sophomore year of high school, around 3 years ago now. I attended a vocational high school. For those of you who aren’t as familiar with how they work, students attending this school are trained in a vocation of their choice by professionals from that trade.

I had selected painting and design and sign making as my shop, and we did everything from house painting and drywall installation to making vinyl signs with our plot cutting machines. My school has a very good system of allowing shops to work together and with the school board in mutually beneficial relationships. For example, I took any sheet metal that I needed bent and shaped to the metal fabrication shop and they also used students from my shop to do things like frost their windows and tint welding booths.

This particular incident happened between me and plumbing. My school had just done some remodeling, which included some shops and classrooms being rearranged and repainted after repairs. Since my shop had the ability to print and cut vinyl, we helped out the school by producing and putting up these fire extinguisher signs, which are required by law to be above every single fire extinguisher in our school - especially in our shops, many of which are more fire-prone than your average classroom.

I was making my way through every shop and was very welcomed by every shop instructor so far, as safety inspections were coming up that weekend and OSHA is always just a call away. These signs were absolutely required and the administration and most teachers were generally very grateful that my shop had the time and ability to make these signs so that they did not have to purchase them and pay another company or take the time and effort to hang them themselves. I spent all of about 5 minutes in every shop I entered, working with two other students to move as quickly as possible and avoid unnecessary intrusion. Even if all extinguishers were visible, we still had to talk to an instructor to inform them of what we were doing and have them confirm all extinguisher locations, which was like them “signing off” on our job so that there could be no blame placed on my shop or me if one was missed.

This job is very easy for my classmates and I but would be a hassle for anyone untrained to do on their own. It involves some leveling and knowing how to smoothly apply vinyl using a halfway tape method and it is very easy to ruin the thin material we were using.

All was fine and dandy, until I reached.... plumbing

My two classmates and I entered the shop, being sure to stay in the area marked for non-plumbing students until we could ask if it was safe for us to put the signs up. However, we were fairly surprised to see the entire shop empty and dead silent. There wasn’t even anyone in the office. I figured that the upperclassmen must have been called to a job site and the lowerclassmen were either working around the school or taking the written portion of their class. In hopes of finding someone, I entered the attracted classroom, being sure to be as quiet as possible as to not distract of there was an ongoing class. Lo and behold, there were all of the sophomores, quiet as could be as they took a written plumbing test. I approached the instructor administrating the test, who I personally knew as I was in plumbing quite often for little tasks, and showed him my extinguisher signs as I started to tell him what I was there for.

“Excuse me, I’m sorry to interrupt but I’m here from painting and design and we were sent to -“

Before I could even vocalize my reason for being there, he cut me off and began absolutely screaming at me

“CANT YOU SEE THEY’RE TAKING A TEST?? HOW DARE YOU COME AND INTERRUPT US? IF YOU WANT TO TALK TO ME, YOU HAVE TO SIT OUTSIDE AND WAIT UNTIL I DECIDE I HAVE TIME FOR YOU.

“GET OUT OF MY CLASSROOM RIGHT NOW”

His face had literally turned red and I could see the spit flying from his mouth. I was dumbfounded. I had been as polite as possible but I was running on a schedule and was doing school-ordered work that was, again, required by the state for our shops to pass safety inspections. If any shop failed to meet safety regulations, they’d receive a written warning. If the problem wasn’t fixed at the next inspection and it was their second time in a row being deemed as an unsafe environment, the shop would be suspended from all activity until the problem had been fixed and the instructors took a mandatory unpaid safety course. Third time or a serious infraction for the second could lead to the instructors being fired and the shop being shut down until further notice. I knew that plumbing had been warned about something last inspection, so it was absolutely crucial that they pass inspection this time if they didn’t want to be suspended and have to go to safety training classes. I couldn’t believe that the lead instructor could be so rude and uncaring about safety measures because I knew just how much he’d hate going to unpaid safety training

After a second of just standing there in shock, I turned around and just walked out of plumbing completely. I didn’t say a word to him and told my two classmates who’d stayed waiting in the main shop with our tools that we were skipping plumbing all together and they could come begging on their knees if they wanted me to come back to hang the signs. When we finished the other shops, I returned to mine and “forgot” to tell our teachers that plumbing didn’t receive their signs.

At the end of the week, we got a call from an very pissy plumbing teacher about not getting his signs and demanding we come “right this instant” to put them up. Inspections were that Saturday and we’d “coincidentally” run out of signs and for the rest of the day I just couldn’t for the life of me remember how to use my plot machine that I’d been trained on for years. Oops.

The signs meant for plumbing made a great liner for my locker and the school announced a hold on plumbing activity while they “updated their licenses”. Every time I saw that plumbing instructor after, I gave him my biggest smile and always made sure to tell him how much of a shame it was that we couldn’t help him out with the signs. He never made eye contact.

Source: reddit.com/r/pettyrevenge

[discourteouscuttlefish]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead/Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead & Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead & Kayama Nemuri | Midnight Characters: Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead, Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic, Kayama Nemuri | Midnight Additional Tags: oboro is mentioned often but not in it, post bnha vigilantes ch 64, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, i crave some emotional dealings and closure that the canon will NEVER give me, please let these boys provide emotional support to one another, they both think the other one blames them what a classic Summary:

Shouta has thrown himself into his training after Oboro's death, dedicated to making sure that he never fails another person he could have saved. Kayama, however, strongly disagrees with this coping method, as well as, his lack of willingness to go talk to Hizashi about it.

Wow wrote this fic like the tenderoni I am over the span of like, more time than it should have taken me!

The sun was just starting to dip below the tree line, illuminating the UA grounds in crimson light as Shouta finally decided to call it quits for the night.  He’d started to push his training time later and later into the night.  His parents hadn’t seemed bothered or seemed to notice at all for that matter; he supposed even if they had noticed the change in his training habits, this was time he’d previously spent hanging out with Oboro so it was no less time at home than usual.  Oboro, who was no longer with him because Shouta had failed to act with the necessary quickness.  Shouta had vowed that would never be the case again, and his improvements in his hero courses furthered his dedication to train as much as possible during his time at UA.

Typically, he had the training grounds to himself in the evenings, especially as he moved further into the woods.  He preferred it that way; no distractions, no one trying to socialize, just pure training.  This evening, however, he spotted another figure moving through the trees making a beeline for the clearing he was using to train.  Though he could still only see the form’s silhouette in the diminishing evening light he could tell they were moving with determination and purpose.

Hopefully looking for someone else, he thought. It took a while to find a spot I wouldn’t be found or stumbled on.

Unfortunately, as the shadow emerged from the tree line, it revealed itself to be Nemuri.  Shouta considered briefly that she may have timed her entrance because the shadows and last rays of red light highlighting her face certainly emphasized her aggravated facial expression.

“You’re here awfully late, Kayama.”  He said, opting to ignore her expression and begin packing up his things instead.

I’m really not in the mood for another ‘intervention’ about my ‘coping mechanisms,’ as though that’s anyone’s business.

“What’s your problem?” She shot her first question at him with such force that he paused.  That had not been what he’d expected.

“I... I’m not sure what you’re talking about...”

“Is this what you’re doing now? You don’t have time for anyone else? Morning, you train until class. Lunch, you train. Evening, you train. Weekends, you train.  Is that all you’re going to do?  Fuck the rest of us, I guess we never get to see you?”  Nemuri was yelling, almost frantically, hands gesturing wildly as though trying to find an outlet to release her anger and frustration.

Shouta felt anger build inside him in response, why was this so hard for everyone to understand? Why couldn’t everyone leave him be?

“Yes. This is what I’m doing now... I watched my friend die in front of me,” his hands were clenched at his side and he could feel tears welling in his eyes.  He cursed his eyes for betraying his anger and his grief. “He died because I wasn’t ready, but that’s never going to happen again.  I’m not going to watch anyone die when I could prevent it.  I’m sorry you don’t like how I’m dealing with it but that’s not my problem!”

Shouta was yelling now.  Tears still pricking his eyes he can feel his face start to heat up, grateful now that night had fallen, and she hopefully couldn’t see he red face.

“And I don’t see why you’re so upset, it’s not like we were hanging out all the time before anyway.  Most of the time I’m spending here I would have spent with Shirakumo...”

“And Hizashi.”

“... What?”

Nemuri had gone completely still.  She may have been largely obscured by the darkness of the moonless night, but he could feel her eyes boring into his.

“And Hizashi.” She repeated punctuating each word.

His blood ran cold.  All at once, the darkness and the chill of the early spring night caught up to him as he considered how to respond.  If he was being honest, he’d been avoiding Hizashi outside of class and their classroom interaction was a necessity based their seat proximity but he’d kept in short and polite. The reasons had been numerous and, in Shoutas mind, logical.  One was that Shouta desperately wanted to avoid Hizashi trying to talk to him about how he was feeling or coping.  Shouta knew what he needed and wanted to do; he needed to get better, he needed to train and improve and learn from his failure.  He was tired of everyone telling him he should take a break and recover.  It was his mind, his grief, he knew how to get better and no one could understand that better than him.

The second had been the obvious side effect of his new routine.  Hizashi was a social person, if he’d been with Shouta training he’d certainly have wanted to talk and distract Shouta and steer him to some other more exciting activity.  He couldn’t afford that.

The third was perhaps less logical and more emotional, how could he look his friend in the eye after having let their other close friend die?

Shouta wasn’t dumb, he knew she wanted to know exactly that, why was he avoiding Hizashi?  Yet, under her intense gaze he felt unable to verbalize any of his reasons.  He’d never been good at sharing what he felt and why.  He could tell, however, she was not going to move or continue until he said something.

“He seems like he’s doing fine to me.  He was back to being the social butterfly within a month, I’m sure he can find better people to spend time with.  I don’t know why he’d want to hang out with me anyway.”

He could tell instantly that he’d said the wrong thing.

“Why can’t you two ever just talk...” she’d whispered it, but in the silence that had fallen over them she may as well have screamed it in his face.

“He’s not okay.” Her voice was measured, as though she was putting a great deal of effort into keeping it steady.  “He’s not. Okay.  I’m worried about him, and you should be too.  I’m worried he’s going to close himself to everyone and I don’t know what it will take for him to open up again... you think he’s strong because he can run around smiling all the time pretending nothing is wrong, but he’s not.  It’s the opposite.  He doesn’t know how to share the burden.  Somewhere along the way he learned to close his true feelings off and just show what he thinks the world wants from him.  But it can’t work forever, somethings going to break someday...”

Shouta felt his limbs growing numb and he was unsure if it was the cold or the creeping dread inside him.

“.. how am I supposed to help him? How do you even know he wants to see me?”

“Fuck, Shouta, he doesn’t need you to be his therapist, he needs you to be his friend!”

“I doubt he even still wants to be my friend...”

Kayama‘s eyes locked on him once more... she regarded him carefully, her face changing from confusion to recognition.

“You think he blames you for Oboro...”

He averted his gaze, finding an interesting patch of grass to study.

Kayama sighed, running her hand through her hair.

“Listen... I can promise you two things.  One, Hizashi absolutely does not believe that.  Two, he definitely wants to see you... more like needs to see you... The rest of your feelings you need to work out together, I won’t be the middleman for everything.”

She closed the gap between them and placed her hands on either of his shoulders.

“Please, go talk to him... for both your sakes.”

Shouta turned his head back towards her, gaze still firmly planted on the ground.  After a moment he looked up and gave her a nod.

Finally, she seemed to relax, she spun on her heel wrapping her arm around his shoulder, leading him back toward UA.

“Thank you.  Now please, let’s get out of here before I freeze to death.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shouta had dragged out his post-training shower for as long as he could justify but finally, he found himself walking the familiar route to Hizashi’s house.  He wished he could do something about the tightening knot in his stomach.  Every train and bus station he passed he fought the urge to just break off his path and head home.

Soon, he found himself outside a familiar home.  He felt the knot tighten once more as he noted that all the lights appeared to be on.  It was nearly 830 pm and in the back of his mind he’d hoped they would all be out and he could justify leaving so as not to disturb the rest of the Yamada family.  But, as he reminded himself, it was a Friday and no one in the home had work or school to worry about.

He stood outside their door for what felt like an eternity, staring at the pale grain of the wooden door.  After a minute, he willed himself to ring the doorbell, still hoping that no one would answer. He was quickly greeted by the familiar face of Hizashi’s mother.  Shouta tried not to flinch at her emphatic signing as he was ushered into the house.  He felt the knot tighten; she seemed a little too relieved to see him.

Shouta realized that, lost in his introspection, he’d entirely failed to process what she’d been signing to him.  Granted, she’d signed with such speed and enthusiasm he may have had a hard time fully following it even not lost in thought.

Sorry, I’m tired, would you mind again slower? He returned in slow, unsure signs.  He’d picked up quite a bit if he’d say so himself; Hizashi always laughed and said he’d give Shouta credit for his technical signing but deduct points until he could add in appropriate facial expressions to make his JSL complete.  Shouta would like to say his lack of expressiveness was his big hangup now but really he’d never been the language savant Hizashi had and he could feel the holes in his knowledge where what he’d learned had slipped away since he’d not had cause to practice signing over the last few months.

It’s okay!  We’ve missed you! I hope you are doing well it’s been quite some time.  Is Hizashi expecting you?

No.  Is he here? Where is everyone?  Now he was just stalling.  He hoped his lack of expression wasn’t making him seem curt.

She gave him a curious look but her smile quickly returned and she resumed signing, My wife’s in America for work, always traveling!  The girls are in the kitchen.  Hizashi is upstairs in the room you can go up.

He could see Hizashi’s three older sisters peering down the hall curiously at them.  The youngest two seemed happy enough to see him, the oldest was somewhere on the fence between uncertainty and disapproval.  She’d always been a mama bear, even more so than her mothers.  He averted his gaze from them and looked up the stairs.

He signed ok with a nod and made his way up the stairs.  The hallway that connected most of the bedrooms was, as always, brightly lit, brightly colored, and adorned with more pictures, paintings, and knick-knacks then he thought any house in Japan probably had spread across its entirety.  The only thing out of the ordinary was the silence.  The Yamada’s house was generally quieter than most homes since a majority of the communication was done via sign.  However, this particular hallway was typically home to the sound of Hizashi blasting music at a just north of comfortable volume.  Shouta often said he wished the other would be quieter, but in this moment he found he didn’t appreciate the others silence as much as he’d thought.

He gently knocked on the door he knew to belong to his friend.  After some minor rustling behind the door it opened to a familiar face.

Hizashi looked... tired.  Surprised to see Shouta, but more than anything tired.  It was strange to see the blonde without any product or work in his hair, it was just held back by a simple head band.  In general he was lacking his normal luster.  Shouta wondered perhaps if Hizashi had looked this off at school and he had not noticed.

They stared at each other awkwardly for an eternal minute.

“... hey.” Shouta said dumbly.

Hizashi’s eyes widened and he made a vague erratic gesture in Shouta’s direction signaling him to wait.  He ran back into his room, making a beeline to his hearing aids sitting out on the desk.  Shouta made no move to follow him in, waiting awkwardly just outside the door wringing his hands.  He’d been in this room a hundred times, but he couldn’t break through the feeling that he had no right to cross the threshold.  A feeling that felt infinitely worse when Hizashi looked back in his direction seeming to have expected him to follow and been disappointed he had not.  At least Shouta thought that it had looked like disappointment.  He felt a little on edge about the ambiguity, normally Hizashi wore his heart on his sleeve and was one of the few people Shouta had no problem reading.  Right now, the blonde’s expressions were subtle and vague, Shouta had a hard time making it out, especially over that big, fake smile Hizashi had just forced back onto his face.

“Haha sorry about that, what’s up? I wasn’t... expecting you...” Hizashi threw up some equally unconvincing finger guns to go with his wide grin.  Shouta doubted this display would even be strong enough to convince their loosest acquaintances.

“I just wanted to see you... how you were doing that is...” Shouta hated how awkward it sounded, he wished he could communicate his feeling normally.

“How I’m...? Well I’m fine! Of course, I’m fine!”

Shouta averted his eyes and dropped his hands to his side clenching and unclenching them. God, he wished Nemuri was here.  She had no problem expressing what she felt and what she thought others were feeling.  He felt himself starting to get frustrated as he tried to figure out how he would get the other to open up.  He had never considered that he’d be on this side of the conversation, normally it was Hizashi who was weaseling his way into Shouta’s thoughts.

“Are you ok?  It’s not like you to drop by unplanned and started talking about feelings haha…”

“Please stop.”

Hizashi was taken aback.  “Stop... what?”

Shouta looked back up to meet the other’s eyes.

“Please stop pretending you’re fine.  I think I know you well enough to know a fake smile, or are you so done with me that’s all I get now.”

Hizashi’s expressing quickly changed from shock to anger, something Shouta has never been on the receiving end of from the blonde before.

“I’m done with you?  I’m not the one who spends every waking hour running away from everyone to train in the woods!  I can barely say two sentences to you before you run out of the classroom every day.”  As he spoke, his volume increased to just above a normal volume and Shouta involuntarily flinched.  Hizashi recoiled and mumbled and apology looking down at his feet.

Shouta was really wishing he hadn’t come.

“Look, I get that you don’t want to hang out with me anymore...” Fat tears had started spilling from Hizashi’s eyes, he desperately rubbed at them beneath his glasses.  “Hearing my voice is probably just one more reminder of that building collapsing, even I can’t use my own quirk without the memory of it bringing down the building on Oboro replaying again and again.”

Ah. Shouta finally understood what Nemuri had meant.  Hizashi didn’t blame Shouta for Oboro’s death, he thought that Shouta blamed him for it.  He felt wretched, but he also felt like a massive weight had been lifted from his shoulders.  He felt tears begin to run down his own face.

Finally, he crossed into the bedroom and wrapped his arms around Hizashi, who tensed in his arms.  Shouta wasn’t big on physical contact, but he knew Hizashi was and he didn’t think he minded it so much if it was with Hizashi.

“I don’t think it’s your fault, Hizashi,” he mumbled onto the blonde’s chest. “I was afraid.  Afraid of being too weak to save others... afraid that you would see that I was too weak to save Oboro...”

Hizashi choked on a sob and finally released the tension he was holding and returned Shouta’s embrace.  He buried his face in Shouta’s hair.

Sniffling for a little while longer, Hizashi finally managed to compose himself.

“That’s pretty stupid.” He half laughed in a raspy voice.

Shouta snorted, “You’re pretty stupid.”

“Maybe so.”

Shouta finally pulled away and looked his friend in the face.  “We are having basically our first emotionally sincere conversation in months and you quote a GIF at me?”

Hizashi starts laughing again, wiping the last tears from his face.

“Sooooo… does this mean we can go back to hanging out again? I miss you.  At the very least can I come hang out with you while you train?  I promise I’ll be quiet.”

“I don’t want that...”

Hizashi immediately looked like he was about to cry again and Shouta cursed himself for his lack of verbosity.

“I mean I don’t want you to be quiet... well I kind of do sometimes... but I don’t want you to be quiet unless you want too...”

“Awww Shouta! So soft! I can’t wait to distract you at training and peer pressure you into doing things that are actually fun!”

Shouta stifled a laugh, “I retain my ability to revoke your invitation.”

Hizashi pouted and threw a hand up to his heart and the other to his forehead, dramatically flinging himself onto the bed.

“I don’t think I can take the heartbreak!”

After a few overly exaggerated death throws and a few seconds of pretending to be deceased, Hizashi popped back up and looked at Shouta.

“So... do you wanna, like, spend the night?  It’s getting pretty late and I feel like if you try and go home, you’ll just pass out under a train station bench like a salary man.  Plus, we’ve got plenty of catching up to do.  Well I’ve got lots to tell you, as you’ve done nothing but train like a dork, I imagine this is gonna be pretty one sided haha!”

Shouts rolled his eyes and dropped his bag on the floor.  Sending a quick text to let his mother know he wasn’t coming back, he flopped face down on Hizashi’s bed.

“Wow you could have at least laid down on one side and not the middle; it’s like having a pet.” Hizashi laughed, aggressively throwing himself on the bed half on top of Shouta, who grumbled but didn’t move.

As Shouta listened to Hizashi ramble about the goings on at UA and the student drama, he felt lighter and more relaxed than he had in months.  He wiggled his hand free from under Hizashi and draped his arm over his friend, blinding grabbing at one of those wildly gesticulating hands.  Hizashi brought his hand down and allowed their fingers to intertwine, a thoughtless action which caused no pause in his exuberant gossiping.

Shouta allowed himself to starting drifting off to the sound of Hizashi’s rambling.  Though he would never admit to her, as he lay there, he was incredibly grateful to Nemuri for coming to interrupt him that evening.

[transcriptroopers]

If military is so bad for your mental health, why do recruiters seem so happy about joining the military? I think you explained before that recruiters are under a contract or something, but couldn’t they subtly discourage kids from joining if they were really unhappy about it?

Short answer: Because a recruiting assignment isn’t something you’re forced into. In fact, becoming a recruiter for any branch is competitive. If you want to keep getting promoted as an NCO, you have to perform a “broadening assignment” such as recruiting or becoming a drill sergeant. You have to submit applications and go to school and outperform the other hopefuls who also want those positions. No one wants to let an NCO who shit talks the army become a recruiter when there are so many others who don’t.

Long answer: 

While doing some research for this post, I happened to find this reddit thread of a lamenting recruiter. In between his whining that civilians are fat and stupid and parents are too protective, he talks about his recruiting reality. Pressures from deadlines and quotas from his boss, the cutthroat competition with other recruiters, the lying and manipulation they use to coerce results, and the army working him so long and hard that his marriage ended, leaving him broken.

Once you join the military, you understand. Everyone shit talks their recruiter because everyone was lied to in some way. Recruiters talk of enlisting people they knew would probably fail out, but that makes no difference to them because they got the signature. I’ve shared many times before that recruiters tell us to lie on the Military Entrance Processing paperwork to avoid disqualification. If they want us to lie to the government about whether or not we have asthma, how do you expect them to truthfully admit that the army is destroying their lives?

In this article, the army talks about not being able to meet their recruiting quota for 2018, and they point the finger at 1,100 schools who’ve banned recruiting on campus.

The high schools are trying to protect students from recruiters instead of seeing them as a benefit in giving students an option to serve their country and embrace a worthwhile career.... Adm. William Moran, vice chief of naval operations said, “Any time you have an unemployment rate below 4.1 percent, historically, trouble looms on the horizon for both recruiting and retention. It’s at about 3.8 percent, I think, now, so we are all expecting this market to get more difficult than easier.” 

Aside from calling high school students a “market,” this man is also saying that when unemployment is low, recruiting and retaining military personnel becomes harder. He acts as though it’s a problem because to them, it is a problem -- they rely on people being desperate and out of options, or else the “free college” schtick doesn’t land well. (also, the real unemployment rate is actually much higher...but that’s not relevant rn) 

We’ve known that recruiters are predatory for years, and purposely concentrate their efforts in cities with marginalized communities -- here’s an article from 2010, one from 2011, here’s one from 2012. The U.N. recognized in 1989 the “Rights of the Child,” which among other things includes under Article 38:“States Parties shall refrain from recruiting any person who has not attained the age of fifteen years into their armed forces. In recruiting among those persons who have attained the age of fifteen years but who have not attained the age of eighteen years, States Parties shall endeavour to give priority to those who are oldest.”Regrettably, only two nations have refused to ratify these rights: Somalia and the United States. The U.N. condemns countries who indoctrinate their children with the desire to join the armed forces, but the U.S. calls it “an option to serve your country.”  

Something I think should also seriously be considered is the lifestyle that recruiters lead you to believe is standard for a service member. What a lot of poor, disenfranchised, hopeless youth are seeing -- what anon is seeing -- in recruiters isn’t merely happiness, but overwhelming stability.

My recruiters drove nice, clean cars and offered to drive me places for free because they didn’t need the gas money. They ate out for lunch (and sometimes breakfast) every day, and sometimes they got lunch for me too while we discussed enlisting. One of my recruiters was using the Basic Housing Allowance (BAH) for his assignment to live permanently in a hotel, where could eat breakfast free and have house keeping clean up after him every day. They had gold watches and wore $300 athletic shoes to the PT they led for recruits. In civvies they wore Brand™ clothing and spent their weekends at 𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓒𝓵𝓾𝓫. No soldier will admit it, but in a world where the national minimum wage is still $7.25 an hour, we are very well paid. 

These things are very appealing to a kid who thinks there aren’t any other options, which is why recruiters target them in the first place. Probably at least some of those recruiters were drawn in by the same performance. Add free college, free medical care, and a fat paycheck every month, and I don’t blame anyone for buying into it. But I think it’s a very important distinction to consider if we call a recruiter well-off only because they have access to housing, medical care, food, and education, things that should be a given right to everyone.

Finally, in a previous post I alluded to the concept that soldiers aren’t always aware of their many problems until they’ve left the army, the same way some people don’t realize childhood trauma until years later when the symptoms start appearing, or how you don’t realize you were in an abusive relationship until you finally break up. In fact, hiding or masking trauma for decades is a known phenomenon, made worse in the Army by its voracious culture of culling the weak, shaming emotions, and discouraging dissent. Victims often can’t fully grasp the extent of abuse until after it’s over. Even when your contract is ending, the army leans on soldiers very hard to reenlist by telling us that there are no jobs out there and no one wants us and we’ve got it easy here and we’re making a mistake, keeping veterans codependent. 

Society has two versions of soldiers: the active duty ones who are always conditioned, dedicated, and strong, and the veterans who are poor, desperate, and despondent. There has to be something in the middle that caused us to get one from the other, something that all soldiers share even if they don’t finish basic training, get deployed, or enter combat. From my perspective, the only common element is being in the military. 

I actually found a very insightful paragraph in a research paper from Iran published in 2014 that is also trying to address the high correlation between armed service and poorer health.

The high number of suicides committed among soldiers in all countries including Iran can be evidence to support the need to be concerned about soldiers’ mental health. For in-stance, committing suicide is one of the major causes of death in US military (30, 31) and it had a sharp increase from 10.3 to 11.3 per 100,000 persons in 2005 to 16.3 per 100,000 persons in 2008 and has been 18 per 100,000 since 2009 (32). ...An interesting observation was made regarding the subscale of social dysfunction. It was observed that individuals serving longer in the army suffered from social dysfunction. In other words, they were dissatisfied with the social role they played and the activities in which they were in-volved in the society. As the length of service increases, the detachment from the family and society becomes more severe. These individuals will find it very difficult to go back to the society and integrate with others after they finish their military service (33).

“Detachment from family and society” should be the headline of any military recruiting poster imo

-Kingsley

[sweetheartjeongguk]

pretty kitty 3 (m)

pairing: taehyung x reader

genre: hybrid au, camgirl au, fluff, smut

rating: nc-17

warning(s): drunk sex, impregnation kink, daddy kink, mentions of drugs and alcohol, taehyung and oc having the feels 

word count: 6.6k+

summary: you’re both jagged pieces of a puzzle, but you fit rather nicely together. 

the discovery | the denial | the meeting | the aftermath | the payback

masterlist

“You tired already?”

You huff out an annoyed breath. “Easy for you to say. You just stick your dick in while I gotta deal with your sweaty body on top of me. It’s like Niagara Falls every time you top.”

Seojoon clutches at his chest in offense. “How dare you? First of all, might I remind you that I made you that spicy ramen last night even though we all know it starts World War III in your guts and you were stuck on the toilet for an hour crying over your ‘ruined asshole’?”

“Why, you little—”  

You launch a pillow at his face, but unfortunately for you, his reflexes as a panther hybrid allow him to easily avoid your attempted assault.

“Anyways, I gotta get going.” Seojoon sighs in fake disappointment. “Hyungsik wanted to binge-watch My Hero Academia with me, but I’ve been avoiding him ever since I accidentally watched the season already.”

“Yikes, good luck dealing with that mess.”

You never really liked Hyungsik, and you’re 99.9% certain that the feeling’s mutual. Just something about him strikes a wrong chord with you, but Seojoon shrugs this off as irrational paranoia. Unwilling to argue with your friend, you force yourself to muster up the brightest phony smile whenever you stop by their apartment to hang out or drop something off.

“See you tomorrow!” He shouts as he escapes through the front door after slipping his clothes back on. “Great work today as always! Don’t forget my money, bitch!”

“Love you too, jackass.” You grumble as you lay in a starfish position on your mattress.  

The livestream ended an hour ago, but Seojoon stayed to help you clean up and recuperate after the camming session. While he’s a dumbass half the time, you admire him for his consistent attitude for quality aftercare, even after the most vanilla of encounters. This particular session gained you a hundred more viewers and a decent amount of money for you to share with. If your elementary school-level calculations serve you well, the night’s earnings combined with your last solo stream are enough to cover textbook costs and the money you owe Seojoon for the time you overflowed his toilet after trying to flush his toothbrush down after accidentally flinging it inside and wanting to “destroy the evidence” before Seojoon came home.  

Your next defense was to blame it on Hyungsik, but he didn’t seem to appreciate the joke.

As recompense for your so-called “crime against humanity”, you offered a substantial portion of your earnings if he helped with filming. Sex came natural to the both of you, lacking the expectation of blatant resistance when you first brought up the idea. Casual sex with a trustworthy friend while making a couple hundred bucks every five minutes? Seojoon couldn’t find any fault with that.

After all, you sucked him off in a frat house bathroom just an hour after you two were officially introduced.

You stretch out across the bed with a wince. Maybe you’ll invest an hour-long massage once your money gets transferred to your account. Better yet, you’ll force Seojoon to pay for it since this is his fault in the beginning. The man’s built like a god but fucks like the devil.  

When you unlock the screen of your cell phone, you’re bombarded with the sight of multiple texts from Seulgi and an email about your Music 101 class being cancelled on Monday. After browsing through bland Instagram stories, you finally decide to appease the witch in your inbox.

Right off the bat, you regret opening up the message.

BITCH YOU BETTER ANSWER ME BEFORE I COME OVER AND TELL SEOJOON ABOUT UR CRUSTY VAGINA PROBLEMS.

You’ve had plenty of experiences with Seulgi barging in during your not-so PG moments and having her fall into an exaggerated spiel that has your partners running out of your dorm in record time. You’d be a fool to fall into her hands again so with a heavy heart, your thumbs type out your response.

yes ur majesty??

Not even five seconds later, your phone beeps with a new message.

wOW look whos here, puss in boots has finally blessed me with her appearance.

Before you can type back your offended retort, you’re blasted with the annoying Facetime ringtone. With a sigh and silent prayer to whatever higher power is up there, you accept the call.

“I almost thought the dick went to your head and not your vagina.” Seulgi snorts when your less than glamorous face comes into view on her screen. “How was your dick appointment, sunshine?”

“I’m doing fine, thanks for asking appropriately.” You flash her an unimpressed stare. “I made over $5k tonight so cancel your plans for tomorrow. We’re going shopping at the outlet tomorrow!”

“Okay, Little Miss Fancy.” Seulgi wiggles her eyebrows in approval. “Just in time too. There’s going to be a party at Jennie and Jisoo’s this weekend, and I’m trying to get dicked down before I’m forced to graduate with cobwebs on my clit.”

“Okay, first of all…I’m not even going to ask.” You shudder in disgust. “Second of all, don’t you have your project due the day after? Might I remind you of what happened last time?”

Seulgi blanches white. “Please don’t. I’d rather not remember that when there’s a dick in my mouth.”

You hold your free hand up in surrender. “Alright then, your problem. Just so you know, I think that you should have started that project months ago.”

“And I think that I should be married to Gong Yoo with two beautiful children, but we don’t always get everything we want.” Seulgi harrumphs. “Anyways, don’t be a party pooper. Who knows, maybe you’ll find Sugar Daddy Number 163 there?”

“My finger is literally hovering over the end call button as we speak.”

“Do it, bitch. I’ll throw away that catnip that you think I don’t know about in the secret drawer inside your closet.”

“That is low, Kang, that is just low.”

“Hey, there’s a party at Jennie’s this weekend? You down?” Jimin calls from the couch as he scrolls through the influx of messages in his dance class group chat.

Taehyung is fully immersed in washing the pile of dishes in the sink that he almost doesn’t catch Jimin’s voice over the running faucet. When he contemplates this in his head, he just shrugs indifferently.

“I don’t know, I’m not really friends with her.”

“She’s cool, man. The rest of us are going too anyway, so it’s not like you’re going to be by yourself.” Jimin points out.

“Knowing you all, you’re going to be dragged off into a game of beer pong against Jungkook or caught up in some random hook-up in a closet somewhere, Namjoon’s going to get himself stuck in another piece of furniture again, and Jin and Yoongi are going to make another stupid bet that’s going to get Jin stuck in jail again.”

“What about Hoseok?”

“He gets red after two sips.” Taehyung scoffs. “The most I had to do was stop him from calling his parents to apologize for drinking and never calling enough. He’s the least of our worries.”

“You might find someone to spend the night with?” Jimin singsongs. “Get your dick wet after all these months of being a loser and staying home jerking off to porn?”

Taehyung rolls his eyes. “Staying home doesn’t make someone a loser.”

“That’s something a loser who stays at home jerking off to porn would say.”

Taehyung sighs up at the ceiling, hands soaked and wrinkled from the soapy water. “I don’t even know why I try at this point.”

“Just think about it.” Jimin stands to grab his jacket hanging off the side of the couch. “You might be pleasantly surprised.”

“Highly doubt it, but thanks for the advice.” Taehyung actively avoids the flick of Jimin’s middle finger as the latter leaves to head back to his own dorm.

Once he’s finally alone, Taehyung takes a moment to actually think about Jimin’s proposal. If he does go to the party, there’s a 50-50 chance of him getting lucky with some hot stranger desperate for a random dick for the night or him returning home with six (or five, depending on Seokjin’s law-breaking kink) drunken idiots.

His Plan B (B standing for “Better Option”) would be to just forget about the party and stay home where he can happily jerk off to porn while digging into a huge bag of Hot Cheetos. Thankfully, he’s learned his lesson on how to jerk off without accidentally using the Hot Cheeto hand.

Taehyung had the case of spicy dick for a good five hours until Jimin came over to check up on him. However, the only thing Jimin could do was fall back in crazed laughter and snap a Polaroid of Taehyung’s distressed tears from his Cheeto dick.

Maybe the party idea isn’t sounding too bad after all.  

You fidget uncomfortably in your seat as you adjust your too-tight top. You had forced yourself to sit through an entire styling process from Seulgi who decided that you needed a little more “oomph” in your appearance.

In the words of Kang Seulgi, “God, Y/N, you’re a popular camgirl known for her sexual appeal, and yet you continue to dress like a middle-aged librarian mixed with Maria from the Sound of Music.”

You couldn’t help but shrink back in offense – your wardrobe isn’t that terrible. Sure, you wear too many casual clothes, and the only time you wear expensive lingerie or anything remotely “sexy” is when you go on camera, wearing the gifts given to you by loyal viewers.

Regardless, you let Seulgi work her magic in the brief time you had to yourself before Ji-Eun arrived to drive the three of you to the party.

Seulgi passionately performs a mini concert in the backseat with her own rendition of “God is a Woman” while Ji-Eun boils in the driver’s seat, her hands clenched tightly around the steering wheel. You don’t know which is worst at this point.

“God, will this car go any fucking slower?” She grits her teeth as another person honks their horn at Ji-Eun to let them through. “Why do they have to live so far away in the ass crack of nowhere?”

“They’re only 15 minutes away from us…”

“You better watch your mouth, Kang, or else you’re walking home.” Ji-Eun scowls into the rearview mirror.

Seulgi slouches back in her seat, no longer feeling the need to belt out the last notes of the song as it comes to an end. Angry Ji-Eun’s a side to the usually cherubic Ji-Eun that should never see the light of day no matter the circumstances. You busy yourself by scrolling through your Instagram feed, liking a couple pictures from your friends back home and laughing silently at some random dog videos that pop up in-between. Your scrolling comes to a halt, your thumb hovering hesitantly above the heart button of a certain photo.

If it wasn’t for the owner of the account, you would have found the courage to double-tap.

“Oh, isn’t that Kim Taehyung?”

“It is…” You mutter quietly, ignoring the close presence of Seulgi’s face near yours.

You’re desperate to scroll past, but Seulgi reaches her hand out to hold your phone.

“You should go for him, Y/N!” Ji-Eun whistles when she catches the picture of his selfie from the corner of her eye. “I heard he and Sooyoung already broke up, so you got a shot.”

The corner of your mouth quirks up in a half-assed smile. As if.

“They broke up already?” Seulgi asks curiously as she hands you back your phone. “I could have sworn that they were messing around together a couple weeks ago.”

There goes your fleeting moment of happiness.

“They weren’t really a thing, I’m pretty sure.” Ji-Eun pauses in thought. “They hooked up a couple times, but I think they’re just friends or at least just in the same friend group.”

You silently stew in your seat, clicking out of the app and locking your phone. Thanks to Seulgi, you’re aching to burn the image of Sooyoung wrapped around Taehyung from your brain. Not that you’re jealous, of course.  

Ji-Eun sighs in relief as the sight of the house comes into view. After parking precariously on the side of the street, Seulgi rushes your trio inside and through the living room teeming with drunk college students and into the kitchen to grab the first drinks of the night. You twitch your nose at the stench of musky cologne, hormones, and hard liquor intermingling as you approach the bartender of the night who just so happens to be Seojoon.

“Hey guys!” Seojoon chimes as he finishes up mixing Hyungsik’s drink who stands cross-armed against the wall with a look of boredom directed at the three of you, mostly at you. “I was wondering when you’d be getting here.”

“When did you get here?” You greet him with a short side-hug, stopping to glare at him until his traveling palm averts its course from your ass.

“Hyungsik and I got here beforehand to help set up.” Seojoon nods towards the brooding man in the corner. “Jisoo stuck me with this job, and now I can’t leave until the party’s over or at least until I’m forced to go out to buy more alcohol for these heathens.”

You scrunch your nose in annoyance. “That doesn’t sound fun. Why can’t they do it themselves?”

Seojoon clears his throat. “I quote, ‘because getting dicked down by the hottest guy in the room is the main priority of the night’.”

“Hear, hear.” Seulgi nods distractedly.

You smack your hand against her bicep. “Can’t you think without your genitals for a second?”

“Y/N…sweetheart.” Seulgi pats your cheek as if you’re an innocent child. “You must not know me at all.”

“Nevertheless, ladies, please enjoy the party.” Seojoon pulls you back before you can take a swipe at your best friend. “Y/N, I’ll be seeing you later.”

Seojoon clicks his tongue suggestively, reveling in your eyeroll and not-so discreet middle finger. After grabbing your drinks, the three of you head towards an empty corner of the room, away from the concentrated cloud of marijuana and crusty men who crave a quick grope.    

“Dang, was the dick that bad?” Seulgi scoffs jokingly. “Maybe if you’re not interested, you can spare a little bite...”

“Wait, since when you and Seojoon a thing?” Ji-Eun’s eyes widen.

You subtly glare at Seulgi’s apparent struggle to hold back her knowing laughter before turning to answer Ji-Eun with the most innocent look imaginable.

“I don’t know where Seulgi gets her delusions.” You smile through gritted teeth. “Seojoon and I hanging out from time to time does not equate to us fucking.”

Seulgi lets out a snort. “Something smells fishy…I think it’s your va—"

She squeaks in pain when she feels the stab of your heel into her foot. The music drowns out most of her cries of distress which Ji-Eun fails to notice. She takes a large gulp of her drink, grimacing at the strong aftertaste of the mostly-vodka mixture.

“God, I want to sue Seojoon for making us this terrible drink.” Ji-Eun stares at the cup with utter hatred in her eyes. “Seriously, it tastes like straight-up ass paired with off brand Caprisun.”

“I second that notion.” You swallow back a gag as the concoction slips uneasily down your throat.

“Me three.” Seulgi grimaces but forces herself to finish the content. “I’m undoubtedly puking later, so I’m going to go off and find some nice dick before that happens. Tootles!”

You silently devise a plan involving bear traps and superglue as you threaten to bore a hole through the back of Seulgi’s head with a scorching glower as she blends into the crowd in search of her next friend with benefits, leaving you to deal with the most infamous lightweight of your friend group.

“You okay?” Ji-Eun questions curiously.

“I’m fucking fantastic.”

“Y/N, I love you.” You remain stone-faced as the drunk girl leans against you with her entire weight. “You’re always so good to me, and I love you for that. I’ll make it my mission in life to help you find a boyfriend, okay?”

Her arms are like spaghetti, and her knees knock together in an attempt to keep straight. The cup once clutched in her hands is now dumped in a random corner of the kitchen, but you shrug it off as Seojoon’s responsibility. He did make you terrible alcohol after all.

“Hyung, n-no, I’m not d-drunk.”

You momentarily glance up at the voice, suddenly blanking out at the figures slowly approaching your corner of the room.

“Oh God, please turn around, please turn around.” You desperately pray as they inch closer.

Much like your situation, Taehyung struggles to hold his unmistakably intoxicated friend – Jungkook or something along those lines – in an upright position. He mutters angry words that were inaudible to you into Jungkook’s ear, but the boy keeps trying to shove Taehyung away.

“I w-wanna go party-y!” He hiccups. “They’re p-playing beer p-pong without me.”

Jungkook twists his body to make a run for the living room, but his own clumsy feet send him back to square one in his friend’s arms. You can see Taehyung roll his eyes as he hauls Jungkook’s heavy body towards the row of chairs where you’re forced into cuddling an equally drunk Ji-Eun.

Taehyung fails to recognize you until your uncomfortable shifting in your chair lets out a shrill squeak. When his gaze settles on you, you notice that his entire body freezes. Heat rushes to your body as his eyes trail over you in a bizarre manner – almost as if he’s scanning you to make sure that you’re actually there and not just a figment of his imagination.

Before you can muster up the courage to utter one phrase to the boy, he turns to the side to tend to Jungkook who’s stuck mumbling and drooling, much like a newborn baby. There’s an itch in the pit of your stomach that begins to bother you more than you’d expected it to. You feel an obligation to say something over to Taehyung – at least something along the lines of “Drunk friends, am I right?” – but you decide to push aside whatever tempts you to say something.

Between the choices of not saying anything and not having Taehyung know who you are or uttering your sentence and making a complete fool of yourself, you’d prefer the latter by a long shot.

“Um…is she okay?”

Your head shoots up in surprise. Taehyung allows his friend to lay on his side across the row of chairs, taking up the entire space while he’s forced to cram his body onto the tiny chair a seat away. Your gaze trickles down to Ji-Eun who mirrors Jungkook perfectly, completely passed out and drooling away on your lap like there’s no tomorrow.

“She will be.” You abruptly clear your throat. “She’s always like this at parties, so it’s nothing new.”

Taehyung nods in agreement. “Same, I’m always stuck watching over all my friends which is why I didn’t really want to go to this party in the first place.”

“Ugh, same!” You groan as you cradle your forehead with a palm. “My friend Seulgi’s no help either. She’s probably off choking on dick in one of the guest rooms right now while I’m stuck here on babysitter duty for someone older than me, for fuck’s sake.”

When Taehyung answers with an awkward cough, you’re hit with the sudden realization that maybe you shouldn’t be so open with a complete stranger, even if that stranger is Kim Taehyung who you’ve had a crush on for years now.

Just a thought.

“Sorry…” You force out a laugh, sounding uncannily like a robot. “You probably don’t want to hear about that.”

“No worries.” Taehyung shakes his head. “My friend Jimin’s the same way. In fact, I think that’s them over there.”

You squint your eyes in the direction that Taehyung points towards. When you finally catch onto the sight, you instantly wish you hadn’t.

There, practically undressing each other in the middle of the dance floor with their tongues curled one another, is Seulgi and Jimin.

“Yup, time for me to burn my eyeballs.”

Taehyung giggles at the horror in your eyes, throwing you overboard into a sea of useless emotions. The worst part of it is that he’s not even trying – that’s just how he is.

‘Ugh, pretty boys.’

“You’re telling me.” Taehyung cringes. “But that’s not the worst situation I’ve caught Jimin in, so I guess we’re spared this time.”

“H-hey.” A voice hiccups from below.

You both direct your attention to Jungkook who points a shaky finger towards you.

“You l-look familiar…” The boy slurs. “Have I seen you before?”

“Nope.” You answer with a shrug. “School, perhaps?”

“N-no.” He hiccups again. “Are you a Y-Youtuber?”

‘Not exactly, kiddo.’

Instead, you reply with another shake of your head. He opens his mouth as if to ask another question, but even uttering a complete sentence proves too difficult a task for Jungkook to complete. With a slurred humph, he slumps against the row of chairs again with his head resting on Taehyung’s right thigh.

“Sorry about him.” Taehyung mutters apologetically. “He rarely drinks, but when he does, this happens.”

“Don’t worry about it.” You smile politely. “That makes two of us.”

Five minutes into a conversation with Taehyung, and you’re scared of falling back into the dreaded Awkward Silence. If only Seulgi was here to save you, but she’s probably too busy giving Park Jimin the suck of a lifetime while you’re floundering to save your conversation with the cutest boy in school.

You’re suddenly thrown back into the image of you as a shy middle schooler, silently crushing on the cheery tiger hybrid in Mrs. Lee’s classroom across the hall. Those were the days before you discovered the wonders of makeup and Moroccan oil and when you would sit in the corner of the lunchroom with your eyes glued on a certain boxy smile as he laughs with his best friends and the rest of the popular kids. The lasting memory of you in his mind was probably the Kindergarten Incident with you crying on the playground after your mother dropped you off in the morning. You long to change his perception and show him who you are now, flaws and all, but you have no idea where to begin.

Curse you and your inability to socialize.

You take your time scanning through the room for a potential lifesaver or topic to blab about to make yourself look semi-interesting to Taehyung. You go to blow away a strand of hair that falls into your vision, unaware of the pair of eyes watching you softly.

Taehyung holds back the urge to brush the troublesome strand from your skin and place a gentle kiss where it used to lay.

“Hey, do you…” Taehyung choking on his words cause you to turn towards him with a raised eyebrow.

“Do I…” You trail off.

Taehyung pales as he forces the words from his mouth in an awkward splurge of word vomit.

‘It’s now or never, Kim.’

“Doyoumaybewanttogohavesomefunonourown?”  

Taehyung could almost die at your stoic appearance. Nothing in your eyes or your smile (lack thereof) gives him any clue into the thoughts churning around your brain. Just as he’s ready to give up and find an excuse to escape with a sloppy Jungkook in tow, you begin to giggle.  

Now, Taehyung’s 99.9% sure he’s about to die.

A smile plays at the side of your lip. “Alright, Kim. I second that notion. But first, let’s go find some beds for these guys first.”

It takes you roughly 10 minutes to scour the house for either Jennie or Jisoo, eventually finding the latter hanging around the poolside with Soyeon and Chaeyoung. You thank a higher power for the Kim girls’ wealth from part-time modeling that allows them to buy a house with more than one guest room. After accidentally opening up occupied rooms and getting more than a couple dick flashes, Taehyung and you finally find two empty rooms that are decently far away from the loud chattering and music blaring throughout the house. Quickly, you plop Ji-Eun down onto the soft comforter of the bed and turn her on her side, shoving a trashcan beside the bed just in case that night’s menu decides to make an appearance when she wakes up.

“All set?” Taehyung asks, a hint of hopefulness in his voice. You brush it off as wishful thinking.  

“We’re finally free.” You beam with a wide grin.

Taehyung sends you a soft smile before grabbing your wrist to pull you downstairs and into the kitchen for drinks. Seojoon eyes you carefully as you approach, curious as to your sudden acquaintance with Mr. Kim Taehyung. He knows a little bit about your not-so-little crush but holds back his questions for another time; however, it’s completely obvious that he’s holding back from making a crude sex joke in front of the two of you.

“Enjoy, you crazy kids.” Seojoon winks, sending a flood of embarrassment to your cheeks.

Taehyung eyes Seojoon with a subtle glare, one that you barely notice but one that Seojoon senses immediately. You’re none the wisest towards the display of dominance, but Seojoon notices it all – from the way Taehyung subtly puffs up his chest to the growing feral glint in his eyes.

“Kiss my ass, Park.” You hiss when you snatch the cups away from Seojoon’s fingers.

“Gladly, sweetheart.” Seojoon purrs back without missing a beat.

It takes all of Taehyung’s inner strength to force his irritation down to an unnoticeable level of annoyance. Even then, his bad mood is still visible to anyone who dares to look closer. After grabbing your drinks from an amused Seojoon, you begin to guide Taehyung out of the kitchen to head back upstairs.

With your back turned, Taehyung chances a dangerous snarl at Seojoon. The older raises a hand up in surrender, but the aggression does nothing to deter Seojoon. If anything, it just makes him even more pleased than before.

Oh, how he can’t wait until you finally become a couple.

“Sorry about him.” You apologize meekly as you two head onto the balcony connected to an empty guest room in the farthest part of the house. “Seojoon can be a little annoying when you first meet him, but he’s actually not that bad.”

“Ha, you’re telling me.” Taehyung mutters annoyedly.

Before you can question Taehyung’s irritation, he’s already chugging half the cup’s contents down his throat. You hold back your disgust for the taste as you follow in Taehyung’s footsteps and gulp down the fiery alcohol. You’ve already developed a small buzz from your first round of drinks, but you feel yourself slip into a more relaxed state with your second.

“So, Miss Y/N…” You lazily turn your head. “Tell me a little about yourself.”

The two of you rest your elbows on top of the balcony railing, inviting the cool autumn breeze to blow across your skin and through your hair with a gentle caress. The party music is muffled behind the glass door of the balcony, but you can still feel the bass thumping within your chest. You hum for a moment as you rack your brain for something, anything interesting to say.

“There’s not really that much about me.” You shrug. “I’ve lived here most of my life, and I plan on leaving once school’s over to explore the rest of the world. My two best friends are Seulgi and Ji-Eun, just not tonight...and that’s all to me really. I guess I’m just an open book with a little too many blank pages in-between.”

Taehyung nudges his elbow to your side. “Ah, there’s more to you than that. Surely, you like to do fun things. Unless you’re one of those boring people whose favorite show is Jeopardy and likes to go to the mall just to walk around.”

“Hey, Jeopardy is a great show, Mr. I-Have-The-Mental-Capacity-Of-A-Walnut.” You retort jokingly.

Taehyung laughs wholeheartedly at your teasing jab. “Okay then, fair enough. I’ll take your word for it.”

The moon beams down on your figures as you continue to chatter about random topics and sip on your disgusting drinks with only a small grimace. Little by little, you learn more about Taehyung’s passions in life and what he wants to do after graduation while he learns more about your friendships with Seulgi and Ji-Eun and all the horror stories from freshman year. You share giggles and playful nudges as if you’ve been friends for decades.

Every sip from your cup sends a tingly buzz that fills you from your head down to the tips of your toes. Your bright eyes grow lazy with a familiar drunken glaze, and you find yourself leaning a little closer into Taehyung’s side.

It’s when you finally make eye contact with Taehyung that he makes the first move.

Your bodies move in an almost fluid yet messy choreography, your lips latching onto one another in utter desperation. Taehyung quickly parts your mouth with his tongue to finally taste the hidden sweetness hidden within. His large, veiny hands slip down from the sides of your face to clutch your hips against his body, forcing your hands to rest against his broad chest.

“Want to go inside?” He pants when you eventually separate for a breath.

“Please.” You whine urgently.

You squeak in surprise as he grips your body with one arm while the other slams open the balcony door leading into the guest room. In a blink of an eye, Taehyung drops you onto the comforter and frantically suctions his lips to your jawline, creating soft marks on your supple skin and kneading the soft flesh near your inner thighs. You bite back a moan as his lips trail down your neck and towards the cleavage of your top.

“Take this fucking thing off.”

Without missing a beat, he rips your top over your head and returns his mouth to the valley between your breasts. Taehyung’s pleasantly surprised at your braless form, and he can’t help but brush a thumb across before replacing it with his tongue.  

“T-Tae…” You sigh airily as he circles around your nipple, drawing them to a hardened peak and leaving thin traces of saliva on your skin. “P-Please.”

“Relax.” He coos into your ear. “This is all for you. You just lay back and enjoy it, my little kitten.”

“I’ll enjoy it once you’re inside of me already.” You whisper coyly, your hands tracing down the curve of his spine and down towards his ass. “I want you to fill my pretty pussy up with your come already.”

With one look into his frenzied pupils, you shrink into yourself as though you’re some meager prey hybrid with a bloodthirsty predator chasing after you.

Oh, how you love it.

He peppers a series of small kisses down your stomach, his movements slower than before. He wants to make you feel as frustrated as he does whenever he watches your videos and yearns to reach through the screen to feel your body against his.

However, with the real thing’s in front of him, his biological urge to mount you and pump you full of his kittens starts to overpower his original plans of taking things slow.

“Fuck, you smell so good, baby.” Taehyung groans as your excitement seeps through the fabric of your jeans. “I can’t wait to taste this sweet little pussy. My little kitten’s been waiting so long for me.”

Your muddled thoughts fail to form into coherent words as Taehyung’s tongue slides across from the top of your pelvis and down towards your core drenched in your excitement. He relishes in your whiny moans at the ticklish flicks he gives your swollen clit, noting cockily how your nails grasp at the bedsheets with reckless abandon and how your toes curl in delight at the warmth filling your bloodstream.

“Are you all wet just for me, kitten?” Taehyung murmurs, cheeks completely soaked from your excitement. “You taste so good, baby. So sweet.”

“Y-Yes, I’m all wet just f-for you, baby.” You whimper as his tongue licks larger stripes against you. “P-Please, Tae, I want you.”

“Want me where?” Teasing you is quickly becoming his new favorite pastime.

“I-Inside. Please, I want to feel all of you.”

“Isn’t that a little too easy?” Taehyung clicks his tongue as he wipes away the excess slick from his chin.

He holds in his shudder when you pull his hand towards you to envelope the come-stained fingers inside your mouth, moaning in delight as you taste yourself.

“I-I think I n-need something in return before your little pussy can earn its treat.”

Taehyung is quick to unbutton his jeans and shrug them along with his boxers onto the bedroom floor. The tip of his cock drips small strings of pre-come onto the sheets, reddened and sensitive to the touch. You quickly discover this when your small fingers reach forward to briefly tease around the head with the pad of your thumb.

“Open up, sweetheart.” Taehyung bites down onto his lip as he guides the first two inches inside your awaiting mouth.

You moan at the salty taste that you’ve grown to love that coats your tongue, sucking lightly for the first few seconds before hollowing your cheeks and applying more pressure with every stroke. Taehyung hisses as your mouth sinks even deeper, nearly driving the head into the back of your throat.

“You’re so good to me, huh?” Taehyung lets out a low moan when he feels you hum in agreement, sending vibrations across the sensitive head of his cock. “Does my baby deserve to be fucked now?”

Your watery eyes connect with Taehyung’s as you choke on the smooth length. Suddenly, you feel miniscule and powerless underneath his lustful gaze, but you welcome the degradation wholeheartedly.  

“Turn around, baby.” Taehyung grunts as he slips himself from your mouth. “I want to see your tight little ass when I fuck this little pussy open.”

He props you up on your elbows with your back arched as far as you can go. There’s a slight pressure in your lower back as you present yourself to him, but the discomfort is nothing compared to the uncontrollable need to finally be fucked by Taehyung. He admires the sight of your awaiting pussy, completely soaked with your come and swollen from his relentless ministrations on your sensitive bud.  

You draw out a long mewl when you feel the tip nudge your seam before pushing inside, clenching hard as he continues to bottom out.

Oh, how he loves it.  

“Fuck, baby, you’re so tight.” Taehyung chuckles lowly as he begins a steady yet hard-hitting pace. “You’re making Daddy proud. His kitten’s taking his cock so well, don’t you agree?”

You smother your face into a pillow to muffle your cries, not wanting someone barging in during the fuck of your lifetime. With every hard thrust, your pussy sucks him back inside with a lewd squelch, desperate to hold him there whenever he tries to retract. His fingers are sure to leave marks on your skin in the morning from the way he’s grasping your hips for dear life. .

You fuck yourself almost every week, and yet you’re still the tiniest hole Taehyung’s ever had the pleasure of fucking. It entices him to continue his thrusts, in hopes of absolutely ruining you and filling you to the brim with his seed. His mind floods with images of you overflowing with come, carrying his potential kittens deep within and yet, still demanding for more.

This daydream alone has Taehyung stuttering in his movements and nearly blowing his load before you can squeeze around him in your own mind-melting pleasure. You have to come first, and Taehyung would be damned if he ruins that for you by acting like a pubescent boy who came in less than a minute to his very first porn video.

“Taehyung…” You cry pathetically. “T-Touch me.”

He’s quick to follow your orders, rubbing at the bundle of nerves between your legs with two wet fingertips and earning a sharp “F-fuck, Daddy!” in response. Your body threatens to curl inward, and you force yourself to grip onto the pillowcase instead of onto Taehyung’s thigh to force him to fuck you even harder.

He wants to feel you absolutely fall apart with his cock splitting you open – and fall apart, you do.

A surprised hiss escapes the tiger hybrid as you spasm underneath his body, your euphoric release dribbling onto the sheets below. Your claws that unsheathed a second before your orgasm have shredded through a good portion of the pillowcase you buried your face into. It’s not long until Taehyung’s hips lose their rhythm and suddenly, you’re filled with copious amounts of his warm seed.

All for you.  

“F-fuck, kitten, you made Daddy come so much.” He admires the sight of your completely battered pussy as he goes to pull out, stuffed to the brim with his seed that slowly starts dripping out. “Stuffed full of Daddy’s kittens. Such a good girl.”

You sigh in relaxed pleasure as he starts cleaning around your entrance with a skilled tongue, a strong hand massaging each cheek. There’s something satisfying about the fact that Taehyung’s tasting himself which seduces you into pushing through the overstimulation by twisting your hips in tight circles to aid him in his taste test.

“You little—” He laughs as he lands a light smack to an ass cheek. He groans internally at how it jiggles under the force, drawing a tiny moan from you and a string of come that seeps from your used pussy and down your thighs.  

Before he can treat himself to another taste, you flip over and grab at his neck. “My turn.”

Taehyung nearly falls forward on his face when you connect your lips together, your tongue sliding through for a mixture of your releases. They’re still both salty and bitter on your palate, but you’ve gotten used to the taste by now. If anything, Taehyung makes it taste even better.

As you sink further into the mattress deep in the kiss, Taehyung lifts himself up to pull you onto your side. You let out a tiny squeal at the sudden shift in position, especially when his lips tickle the crook of your neck with a trail of wet kisses.

“Now, sleep.” Taehyung kisses your cheek before nuzzling his face into the back of your neck.

“Weirdo.” You purr groggily before succumbing to the inevitable fatigue that seeps into your bones and muscles.

Once you’re deep in sleep, Taehyung leans closer for a better glimpse of your face. Your skin’s still flushed red and sweaty, but you still look like an angel in Taehyung’s eyes. The entire room smells of come and sweat, but he can still sense your unique sweet scent of your skin, and it pains him to hold himself back from tasting some more. The stress that wrinkles your brow is smoothed out and replaced with a peaceful expression, one he sees quite often during your streams after you finally fall back down from your high.

Taehyung is finally brought back to reality when his ears pick up incessant cheering from drunk patrons outside by the poolside accompanied by loud EDM blaring from the outdoor speakers. He ignores them all with an exasperated wrinkle of the nose, and instead he chooses to savor in the warmth radiating from your body that just so happens to fit perfectly against his own – just like pieces of a jagged puzzle.  

Taehyung smiles. You’re finally in his arms, and he doesn’t want to let go.

[u-l-i-a-n]

Long triggering story ahead

Make sure to check the tags before reading further to keep yourself safe, okay?

Anyways, here’s the story of my abusive friendship that lasted 8 years.

I can pretty confidently say 2017-2018 was the hardest year of my life so far, but it was also the one that set me free from HER (avoiding naming her bc you could definitely find her otherwise)

I’m very very bad at math, so bad that I ended up having to repeat my last year of middle school, and I’d decided to go to the other middle school in the area so i wouldn’t have the same teachers. I was pretty quickly adopted into a fairly large friend group that liked to hang out in the library, SHE was apart of that friend group. she also sat next to me in math class, and we very quickly became friends that were nearly inseparable. 

At this point in time i’d gone a few years without any real friends and my social skills were very poor, as well as my anxiety rendering me nearly mute (it still does this, but it was worse before) as i was the closest with HER, she became my “anchor” in most social situations, where i could be comfortable talking with everyone if she was talking too.

This, was where the abuse started. Where she would playfully hit me in the arm. HARD. every day, multiple times a day. I’d complain and rub my arm and she would dismiss me saying she “hadn’t hit me that hard” (I got it confirmed with another person she let one of her punches out on that it was hard as hell, and lord help you if you hit her back with the same strength)

This went on throughout high-school, along with more and more manipulation, and emotional abuse. If i did something without her approval she would be angry with me, she wanted me to keep my hair long and would get angry when i cut it, even if it looked better. If i was getting new glasses and decided on a style that she hadn’t picked out she’d be angry with me, if i wanted to see a movie she didn’t want it would take weeks of begging and making deals to watch things i had no interest in to appease her.

It was frustrating, and we argued CONSTANTLY on every little thing. She lied, pathologically, and would always try and prove herself right by yelling and hitting me in the arm until i backed down, even on things that were obviously incorrect (like: ”all raccoons are born with rabies, only gay men can get aids, japan is filthy and people shit in the streets, Spanish is the same thing and Mexican” i know, fucking crazy)

*There was one particular event that took place sometime between freshman and junior year, where on the multiple prompting of “she’ll stop hitting you if you hit her back and don’t back down” where I took that advice, and in my bedroom when she was staying over (as she did nearly every weekend, even if i didnt want her to) she’d hit me during an argument and I hit her back, this went back and forth until she got angry and angrier, until suddenly i was on my back with her hands wrapped around my throat. I remember staring at her in the eyes, until slowly she let me go. She said she didn’t know what happened, that she had “blacked out”. She didn’t apologize. I forgave her.

During this time, the friend group that we were apart of bisected and grew in different parts, some being the kids interested in theater and some being interested in other nerdy things, like video games and anime. A lot of the time, the few other friend that i had that weren’t HER often asked me “why are you still friends with her, she treats you like shit” and you may also be wondering at this point “Ulian what the hell why were you still around this person???”

Well, I’d convinced myself that she needed me, like i had once needed her as a buffer and anchor for social interaction, that i somehow owed her my patience and forgiveness for the things she did, and continued to do.

A certain event led to us breaking apart for a time, that event being her handing me a letter after several weeks of telling me how angry she was that i continued to interact with someone she didn’t like (even after she’s lied about the person being mean to her, but at this point i knew over half the things she said were lies) the letter, in briefest terms, was her blaming me and how i acted for her wanting to kill herself. She literally wrote the words “You make me want to kill myself”(hypocritical since her stance on self-harm was that people only did so for attention and people who committed suicide were weak) I couldn’t handle it, I couldn’t handle the idea that something i did would have made someone want to die, and couldn’t handle that she’d just slip me a letter about it while at school and expect me to be fine.

My depression got worse, i avoided her for a time and my mental health was bad enough that it had a physical effect on me that other people commented on. I thought i was sick, and missed about a week of school.

eventually, and unfortunately, we made up. With me conditioning that she needed to treat me better, specifically “hey stop hitting me maybe??” and for the most part she did, slowly she stopped hitting me and things were much better. for awhile at least.

skipping forward a bit, we graduated, and she convinced me to go with her to college (we lasted 2 semesters and then stopped). Eventually she convinced me to start working with her at our local grocery store (bad idea) She constantly pointed out that my home life was shit and I was eager to move out of the house, and after finding a third roommate, I was living in the same house as HER (horrible idea)

although her hitting me was now something that happened very rarely, her manipulative tendencies and emotional abuse increased. And also spread to the people around us. While living together, any small mistake i made was blown up out of proportion (like not doing the dishes when she said to even though she never ever did them) and she made it seem as if i was lazy, as if i was childish and needed her in order to function. she made it so the way she treated me made sense to other people, and that i deserved how she was acting towards me.

She even threw me a kiddie themed birthday party for my 21st birthday, with a bunch of baby decorations, like think winnie the pooh themed stuff.

She constantly undermined everything i said or did, made me out to be irresponsible, invaded my privacy by forcing me to let her use my phone and computer and give her access to it, told people my secrets that i told her in confidence and bad mouthed me behind my back (as i found out from our 3rd roommate and also my GRANDMOTHER)

She also made me feel as if I couldn’t return home, that my home life (which isnt great but no one is degrading or hitting me hmmm) was horrible and that i couldn’t go back there, which i later realized was her manipulating me into feeling as if i HAD to stay with her and had no where else to go.

Living with her made all the things she did and the horrible way she treated me pile up, and left me short tempered. I knew that something needed to change, and I thought that I could get through to her and have her change how she was behaving.

We argued again, after the time she had choked me i’d backed down quite a bit, and started hating arguing since i knew she’d never listen to me. This time, once again, i argued and didn’t back down when she yelled at me.

So she SCREAMED at me, loud enough to make the house shake and have my cat try to intervene, and she threw the closest object she could find at me full force (a penny, but still scary as hell in context)

I was quiet, and I waited for a time for her to calm down. i asked “Are we going to talk about this.” and she replied “No.” And i walked out the door.

Because when i get truly, viscerally angry or upset, my response is to remove myself from the problem. I walked out the door into the night to calm myself down, shaken from the realization of the situation i was in and knowing that I couldn’t stay with her.

I began telling our other roommate and her boyfriend about the things she would say to me about them when they weren’t around, I’m not very proud of going against someones trust but at this point i was desperate to have someone on my side and willing to help me get away from her when our lease was up.

During this time she had manipulated me into coming to conclusions that i would NEVER come to on my own, such as thinking our roommate who had clinical depression only wanted attention, which is something that someone who also has depressions and many friends with depression and actively learns and cares for people with mental health issues wouldn’t ever think on my own. its not in me to think badly of other people for no reason, while she (her words) hated everyone around her by default.

eventually our roommate confronted her, and she managed to twist things around and cause a lot of tension, leaving me feeling trapped and hopeless in a house with someone who had the potential to hurt me, and also my pet cat.

She threatened things i cared about and intentionally tried to upset me, specifically threatening my cat, who is a huge emotional support for me. It sounds funny, saying i was upset because she threatened my cat, she and her mom laughed about it. no one laughs when i tell them what she was saying.

Things like “I’m going to hold her down in the drive way and have (roommate) run her over” and “I’m going to shove her in the oven and cook her alive for you to find her when you come home”

Yea, not funny. you can see why i was upset about it. She apparently couldn't, and refused to stop even when i asked her to repeatedly.

She also fully knew that i was pansexual, hell i was the reason she was even slightly okay with people in the LGBT+ community. She wasn’t great about specifically me though, and when i told her about being nonbinary she made fun of my chose name (called me Uvula) and refused to call me by my preferred pronouns.

When I came out to our roommates she said she would never call me by that stupid name or by they/them because i don’t “act nonbinary” (get a load of this guy)

Her last day in the house, she was upset with me for going into her room to take back my heated blanket that she’d taken from my room without permission (my room was cold as hell, i wasn't going to wait for her to come home at 1 am and and she already had a heated mattress pad)

I took it back of course, and our roommate asked what she was upset about (roommate and her bf had bought some food they didn't want to share, which we already discussed was fine) I told her honestly and carefully didn't badmouth HER since she was already mad, and i wanted things to be less stressful.

She blew up at me while we were at work and came for her things that night to go back to her parents house. we took care of her cat until she could figure something out for it.

During this time and the time i last saw her, several things happened, since unfortunately we worked together

She cornered me in the bottle trailer (literally a semi-truck that has bottle returns in it in huge bins. she was standing at the door and could close it at any time) and called me a horrible friend, and also a huge bitch, while we were supposed to be working and she was in a position of power over me. I panicked and said nothing.

She often made me up to an hour late for my lunches, since she was promoted to manager, and liked to skip my breaks and all around treat me like shit compared to every one else.

Despite all of this. . . I still felt as if i could forgive her, if she somehow proved she could do better that i could be friends with her again. Until she ruined that for herself by telling me that my dead father would be dissapointed in the way i was acting.

 No. hell no. I was done, she didn’t deserve my forgiveness. And i finally realized that it wasn’t my job to “fix” her.

When the lease ended I moved back in with my parents, and I quit working at that job in September.

I haven’t seen her in over half a year and many of the people who knew me when she and I were close have commented on how much happier i am, and how much more confident i am in myself.

I’m sure i’ve missed a lot of things, and I know I didn’t really go over the positives of our relationship (There were some! i swear!) but if i did go over everything it would be the length of a novel.

I got away from someone who was hurting me, I decided my happiness was more important than catering to someones every whim, decided that i deserved happiness. And I learned to NEVER let someone treat me like that again, to surround myself with people who make me happy.

I hope, in whatever way, this story of my 8 year horrible friendship helped you.

And if SHE is reading this. . . Go fuck yourself.

[clockworkmoose]

I’ve only got so much brain-battery to put towards doing things, and this isn’t like, actual physical energy, just.. mental ability-to-want-to-do-shit-instead-of-sitting-like-a-depressed-lump energy. If I’ve got a high charge, it’s easy enough to spend some and do a fun thing, and then go to bed and by the morning it’ll be recharged up to full

but the farther down I drain that battery level, the harder and longer it takes to recharge. So doing something social with friends when I’m at high battery is fun! but doing something social with friends when I’m at low brain-energy will take longer to come back and it makes me wary because what if I get so low, I can’t recharge? And then the energy I spend just keeps draining away faster than it comes back, I can’t replace it fast enough and I have to sequester myself away for days just to regain the energy I spent in half a day.

And I’ve been really, really struggling the past 6-ish months, because I’ve got this one terrible, terrible chaotic employee. She started out not terrible when I hired her, but she’s been careening wildly off in a worse way over the past year, and then six-ish months ago I had to start giving her twice the hours and relying much more heavily on her, which put me in much closer proximity to her and right in the way of her chaos, and she is an absolute DRAIN. And just. Trying to distance myself from her doesn’t really work, it’s a really small business, I work very closely with my employees, and every day I see her, and even some I don’t but don’t worry! She’ll keep me updated via text or phonecalls! she just... absolutely sucks energy out of me and trying to avoid her has only somewhat worked! I can tell her straight to her face “stop telling me about your personal life” and she goes “oh, okay” and launches right into another story about how the red dots on her arm means she got AIDS from sleeping with a guy a decade ago, and the doctors are conspiring against her when they say she’s clean, and don’t I just agree with her that it’s terrible malpractice and immoral of them to hide something that important from her?

And starting when I gave her more hours, I could feel my brain battery energy just,, draining away because of her. It was kind of horrifying, in that vague-back-of-the-mind way of thinking about how my brain works, just watching myself actively WANTING to do things, WANTING to talk to people WANTING to sew and make things WANTING to go to social stuff with friends... and just being completely unable to force myself to actually do those things because I either hadn’t had the brain energy, or was so close to this chasm tipping point where I knew if I spent that last little bit of energy I’d absolutely fall into this place of being so low on energy it would take ages to recharge even the tiniest bit, so I was straight up avoiding doing anything at all except going home and basically curling up with app games or tv show reruns and doing nothing because I had to reserve those tiny shreds of energy I had left to be sapped away by this employee. Which was just making me fucking PISSED like why was I letting her lay claim to my brain battery, instead of letting me use it as I wanted??? But I didn’t really have a choice, because she WAS going to drain that energy, whether I wanted her to or not; I can’t just decide to not lose energy when she starts yapping at me, holy crap if I could have done that, it would have saved me so so many problems?

Until maybe two-three months ago, I actually hit that chasm tipping point and it’s been incredibly bad, like, even basic just “I should eat food” has been more energy than I’ve been able to spend, and even then at close to zero energy, employee was still sucking away the little bits I recharged every day, I was not getting better in any way at all, it’s been hell. Like, even though nothing actively BAD was happening, I just. Felt like everything was absolute hell, and felt all the worse for it because nothing was actually physically wrong, I wasn’t dealing with any specific issues or problems, I was just kind of cruising through life vaguely existing, which I think in part made me feel worse. There wasn’t actually anything WRONG, I just wasn’t doing things I would have liked to be doing. And it’s super easy to just say ‘well if you want to be doing something and you’re not doing it, that’s on you then, innit?’ and blame yourself for just being lazy, or making that choice to not do things for yourself. 

But I was in this place of NOT being able to make that choice for myself, I didn’t have the energy to make those kind of decisions and was just wallowing, and that’s really hard to explain and verbalize, especially to people who aren’t fighting with their adhd brains to just feel normal? It’s so angering to be sitting there thinking you want to do something but not being able to actually start doing it and just sitting there wondering why you’ve not started doing it yet because you want to... Like I can deal with this on a normal day when I have brain energy because I can recognize when my brain is doing that and do this hard reboot and reset, tell myself I’ll do something else instead until I find something my brain has the energy for, and then after I’ve started that thing, segue into the thing I’d actually wanted to do instead, but for months I just couldn’t recognize that my brain wasn’t working until after the fact looking back and wondering why I didn’t eat anything all day and realizing that I’d gotten stuck and didn’t even know and realizing that I’ve not been in control- and even recognizing that knowing that fact would do nothing for the next time, so fuck me!!!

But I finally got another person working for me, and rearranged the work schedule to minimize my contact with soul sucking employee, and after a month of this new schedule I’m feeling maybe 15-20% charge again? Like, enough that I’m starting to do things again, I’m finally out of that chasm, but barely, barely. This weekend I cleaned the living room! I’m working on two sewing projects! Well- one! I started one and hit a road bump and had to set it aside because troubleshooting it was going to take too much brain energy, so I started working on a different project instead and I’ll come back to the first once I’ve recharged a bit more!

But I’m still feeling so absolutely mentally fragile, I have to be gentle on my brain, and I’m afraid that just one more story from this employee about her shitstorm of a life or how she’ll be taking her case against this drunk-driver-sent-by-a-cult-to-assassinate-her all the way to the supreme court (as well as getting the lawyer who didn’t want to help disbarred for “failing to serve the good of the public” (????)) will be more than enough to shatter this little bit of progress back up I’ve made and send me back spiraling down.

But now that I mentally CAN do fun things like work on my galaxy quilt, I NEED to use some of this energy for myself, I have to do SOMETHING because I feel like if I don’t, I’m falling apart and losing myself completely, and not using the energy I have now will be as worse as saving it up and waiting for a full charge because there won’t be anything left of me if I wait any longer.

This month, I only had six days where I was physically in contact with this employee and only answered one phone call from her (misread her name and thought it was someone else; was upset at myself) and only replied to 2 out of her 76 (I counted) text messages. NONE of which contained info I actually needed to be informed about while I was out of work and off the clock.

So that’s good, now I know what kind of level I need to keep her at in order to regain my energy she stole.

But what’s not great is in the first two weeks of July, I’ve already got 5 days I will overlap with her and have to be in contact, and I’m straight up terrified of losing this tiny bit of progress I’ve made because I want to feel normal I want to be able to want to do something and then just... do it! Not sit there wanting to do something and being driven to tears because I can’t actually start doing it! It’s fucking terrible not having energy! And I hate it I hate it, I hate her for taking so much time an energy from me, and I can’t get rid of her, and am honestly thinking of getting rid of myself, finding a new job doing something else that is less relevant to my interests and sucks more energy--- because at this point, even a job I hate would probably take less energy than dealing with is employee does. But there’s just no stable steady jobs available, and I can’t responsibly plan on hopping from temp job to temp job assuming I’ll just ~have a paycheck each week~ because I’m the one currently supporting the house so that James can focus on finishing his dissertation this year and finally get his phd over and done with.

So I’m just hunkering down, recharging as much energy as I can now this week so that next week hopefully I’ll have the energy to lose again.

[pinesconessecrets]

A perfect holiday

For @say-hey-im-gay  Hope you like it! :D

“Hey…Dipper?” he said, making his roommate turn slowly to look at him with tired eyes “I… I made cookies, do you want some?” he offered while showing the tray he was carrying, which was full of slightly misshapen gingerbread men.

“Sure, thanks Wirt” he sat up and he smiled a little in his direction, patting the space in the bed beside him for him to sit as well.

Wirt almost sighed in relief. Ever since receiving the news of the airline suspending their flights Dipper had been devastated, because unlike Wirt that could visit his family every weekend if he so desired, distance made that practically impossible for him. It had been a year and a half without being able to see his sister (because studying in Italy made it hard for her to travel too often) and two without seeing his parents and great uncles. But that Christmas everyone had the time and money to reunite and spend the holidays together, thing that had Dipper almost bursting of happiness and energy, allowing him to take his finals head on and to smile despite everything bad that happened that year. And then the airline called, saying that his flight was canceled due to the weather. No matter how hard he tried to find another way to travel, everything had either been canceled or was full to the brim.

It wasn’t fair.

“Wirt?” he called, a headless gingerbread man in his hand that could easily be the eighth wonder of the world with how hard he was looking at it “I know you want to cheer me up, and I’m really thankful for that, but…” he sighed, turning his eyes to watch him instead “you don’t have to spend winter break with me, Wirt, your family is waiting for you”

And that was the thing, wasn’t it?

Dipper was completely right, his family lived two hours on car away and even with the snow and the cold wind it wasn’t that hard to go home on time. What was stopping him, then? Camaraderie towards his best friend? A lack of desire to see his family? A ‘better safe than sorry’ situation?

No.

The real reason was the big crush he had on Dipper, and that spending a couple of days together without the pressure of school on their shoulders was too big of an opportunity to pass.

“I already told you” he faked a cough trying to pretend his voice didn’t sound an octave higher than normal “they are going to spend Christmas with Dad’s side of the family, and they don’t like me very much. Neither do I” he added with a whisper “So I decided to go until New Year’s eve or a few days before it. And hey, if that allows me to hang out with you in peace, then it isn’t that bad. Right?”

“Hang out with me”

“Yeah…”

“while the weather is this awful”

“Yes…”

“And almost everything that we could’ve wanted to do is closed”

“Well… the ice ring the school has is open to students… and the coffee shop in front of the library is serving a delicious hot cocoa or so I’ve heard…”

A pause. And then a laugh.

“Well, how the fuck can I say no? You certainly know your way to a boy’s heart. What’s next, watching cheesy movies while cuddling?” Dipper said with a joking tone in his voice.

“If you’re lucky”

The blush on Dipper’s face was totally worth the embarrassment he had while saying that.

* * *

While it might look weird for a school to have a totally equipped ice ring at campus, no one at Ghibli College minded seeing as it allowed the hockey and the ice skating team to practice without trouble, just the same as the other clubs. And, even though all year long the entry was denied if you weren’t part of one of the teams, at winter break the ice ring was available to all the students staying at campus, as a way of making their stay more enjoyable.

Which was just so fucking perfect for Wirt, because while (almost) no one could argue his specialty were the poetry and playing the clarinet, he was also pretty decent at skating.

“Okay, okay, I think I’m getting the hang of this…” Dipper said, before slipping (again) and barely managing to grab Wirt’s arm on time to avoid fall on his face “Or so I thought”

“Well… it isn’t that hard, Dip. Just… think of it like stop being human for a second. And then, you are mythical being, freely roaming around the beautiful world Mother Nature has given you, gliding gracefully over…” he coughed, feeling how his cheeks seemed to go warmer by the second. What a way to ruin the moment “Sorry… I just…”

“No, it’s okay Wirt. I quite liked what you said” he smiled, a shy look in his face “It was cute. And really inspiring” he added with a wink “I might just drop out and go live in the woods like I’m mean to do”

“Shut up, Pines” embarrassed he gently pushed him, totally forgetting the lack of balance the other had “Oh God, Dipper!”

****

After apologizing over and over (and picking Dipper from the floor), they stayed an hour skating (or, in Dipper’s case, trying not to fall) before finally deciding that it was enough and they were cold, hungry and sore (and that last one wasn’t only in Dipper’s case, because he had gotten his sweet revenge pushing Wirt to the ice a few times).

As they made their way towards the coffee shop, Wirt couldn’t help but to watch Dipper from the corner of his eye. He seemed to be feeling better, his eyes shining the way they did when he finished a mystery book and a soft smile that he had only saw a few other times before. And considering that one of those times was the day he met his friend Soos’ daughter… well, could anyone really blame him for wanting to stop the world and bathe in the feeling the thought of making Dipper that happy gave him?

“So” said Dipper after a moment of comfortable silence where they cautiously sipped their drinks “where did you learn to skate like that?”

“You say that as if I were a professional and not just a person that doesn’t have balance problems” he laughed as Dipper punched him softly in the shoulder “Well… when I was a kid Mom was always encouraging me to try and make friends, and that included her taking me to different clubs or courses” he sighed and frowned a little at the memories “One day she took me to the ice skating club of the city, and I stayed because it was one of the few activities I enjoyed”

“I see…” he munched on his second cupcake before speaking again “my parents did the same. I hated it because they never gave me the chance to choose one, but thanks to it I discovered my passion for the piano so…” he shrugged and smiled with chocolate stained lips “worth it”

He smiled and took a sip from his coffee, his mind immediately moving from his childhood memories to the ones of Dipper playing the piano: his long fingers moving through the keys, his fingernails painted just like Mabel had done them in his first concert; his lips that tried to stay in a perfect line in order to look professional, but that if you payed enough attention you could watch them turn upward when he got lost in the feeling of playing or downward when he thought he had messed up somewhat; and the way the rest of his body seemed to connect with the piano, his entire being focusing on the melody and the melody only.

He wondered if Dipper would like to play with him someday.

* * *

“Okay, I have to admit” said Dipper before throwing himself over the couch “that went way better than I thought. Thanks” he turned to smile at Wirt, only to have a blanket thrown at his face “Hey! What the-”

“Hush. You have a lot of luck so I’m gonna put the first sitcom I find in Netflix and then we are gonna cuddle. Any questions?” he said faking confidence. Oh God, he really was going to do it, wasn’t he?

Dipper blinked slowly. Once. Twice. On the third, Wirt had to fight a wince.

And there it was, the cute laugh Dipper was so ashamed of, the one he always tried so hard not to do. But right now he didn’t seem to care, laughing as if he didn’t have a single problem in his life.

“Oh, my, I’m way too lucky, uh?” with a big grin in his face he turned and shifted until finding a position he liked “Hurry up! Come here and cuddle me, loser”

It wasn’t long before they were watching the fourth episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine, their limbs intertwined and their bodies warm and comfortable. It felt so natural to be together that way, yet Wirt couldn’t help but think it could be so much better. He just had to take a chance.

“I’m in love with you” was mumbled into soft brown curls. A snort soon followed and arms tightened their hold around his body.

“I thought it was obvious that I love you too, dork”

The rest of their day was spend that way, with the two of them watching Netflix while cuddling and talking in low voices. Their Christmas’ eve dinner? A pizza they made with the few ingredients left in their pantry and that was miraculously comestible. Their Christmas’ gifts? The ones they already had for the other and a sweater exchange they thought of in the moment.

Looking around, at Wirt asleep by his side wearing the Doctor Who themed sweatshirt he gave him (it was the only one that fit him) and the rainbow blanket Mabel had gifted him two years ago covering them both, Dipper couldn’t help but think it was perfect.  

He might not have everything he wanted, but at least love wasn’t something he lacked in his life.

[arielle0808]

would u be cool with some hcs for minor trio and rfa with a teenage daughter who is going through a slightly rebellious phase ya know,attitude here and there, eyerolling, ya know angsty teen stuff, but one day she decides to sneak out to go to a party or just somewhere with her friends or whatever you think up? how would they react to find her missing or crossing paths by accident when she’s supposed to be home? thanksies, love

I could! Poor guys leading with rebellious teens hahaha

Thank you for your request! I really hope you like it~

Yoosung 

He gets along with his daughter.

He is somehow strict with her studies, but she can also fool him from time to time saying she is studying when she is actually playing games in her room. Her grades are not too low, so she can afford it~

He usually lets her go out with friends with no problems, nevertheless, this time that party is a big “nope”.People older than she are going and will probably have alcohol around, so no minor teen girl is going there.

Daughter decides to use the old trick of the pillow between the bedsheets to escape.

Who is she trying to fool?Of course, Yoosung finds out and drives to that party to take her back home after freaking out.

He gives her the biggest lecture of her life, telling her how disappointed he is and how she is going to miss every single party until she is of age.

She starts crying because she doesn’t want to be a disappointment.Yoosung ends up embracing her and telling her she isn’t, but that he is still mad at her.

At least, that makes her realise she did wrong and would spend the next couple of weeks being extra good so that Yoosung lets her go out again.

Zen 

His daughter is going through a rebellious phase and those friends of her are to blame!! (Especially the boys) 

She doesn’t even try to ask for her dad’s permission to go to see a motorbike race the older brother of one of her friends has organised.

She knows that it’s dangerous, but she really wants to go, she adores motorbikes, so she sneakes out of home in the middle of the night.

Zen finds out the next day when he catches his daughter entering home with a smell of smoke, alcohol and motorbikes he recognises too well.

He goes nuts.

She is grounded forever at her room, her phone confiscated, and he even threatens her to change her to another school.

He lectures her for hours about how dangerous motorbike races are.

“Wait, how do you know?” [Insert stuttering Zen]

Then Zen tells his daughter about his past. She admires him now, and understands him better as well, so she promises him she will behave from now on.

That somehow melts Zen’s heart and her punishment lessens. 

Jaehee

Her daughter is going through a rebellious phase, but she has read every book one can read about teenagers and she more or less can handle the issue.

She believes that reasoning with her and getting to agreements is the best thing she could do to avoid conflict, and up until now it has worked.

But her daughter really wants to go out on a weekend with friends and no parents. And she really doesn’t want her to.

She’s tried to reason with her and even offered herself to go with them, but the “no parents” thing is apparently the most important part of the trip, so she’d rather stay at home.

Or so she tells Jaehee.

Her daughter decides that the best thing she can do is pretend she is going to go to the library to study when she actually is going to take the train with her friends.

It’s actually Seven who catches her sneaking out. She asks him not to tell her mom, and he nods, pretending to be the cool complicit uncle, and takes his phone to tell Jaehee the moment her daughter turns around.

Jaehee gets to the train station just before her daughter can even get the tickets and the look in her face makes she and all her friends shrink back in fear.

She is not allowed to go out with friends for a month, spending the weekends helping at the café instead.

Jumin 

His daughter hates those posh events to which she has to go as the daughter of the C&R CEO.

She’s told Jumin thousands of times how much she hates them, but he insists that she has to go to start meeting influencing people and bla bla bla.

Well, not that night. 

She decides it’s a good idea to disappear that evening before the event, hiding at a friend’s place.

Jumin freaks out.

He sends hundreds of bodyguards to look for her and even informs the police. 

All the city is upside down looking for her and when her friend and she realise, they decide to call Jumin.

He is angry and will scold her, but then she complains that he never listens to her.

“Maybe I don’t want to work for C&R in the future, has that never occurred to you?”

Tbh, nope.

He would have her feelings more into consideration then onwards, but for the time being she is grounded :D

707

He’s a cool dad, though his daughter sometimes gets embarrassed of his goofiness.

She wants to go to a party at a club, but Seven won’t allow it. Seven knows she is too young to go there and she would probably need to make a fake id and stuff, and of course he is not letting his daughter get involved in illegal activities.

She doesn’t mind.

She sneaks out of home and goes to the club without taking into account that Seven can know quite easily where he is since he controls the security cameras of half Korea. Oops.

His daughter and all her friends are queueing out of the club when a red haired woman that sounds familiar to them approaches them. Seven’s daughter goes livid as she recognises her as her dad.

He befriends all of them as his daughter is too embarrassed to say anything, and he stays talking to them until it’s their turn to enter. At that moment, he takes off his wig.

“I’m sorry, these kids are minors and I’m going to take them all home,” he says to the security guards who are at the entrance.

And so he does.

He is really mad at her but considers that for the time being having her friends trying to flirt with him and taking them all home is enough punishment until they get home and he can scold her properly.

V

He knows how his daughter feels. He went through a rebellious phase himself when he was a teen, so he tries to be understanding, but there are some things he can’t let her do.

Like going with her friends to the forest in the middle of the night to do weird stuff about hunting ghosts. That’s a straight out no.

V’s daughter doesn’t seem to understand, though, and she decides to go out.

V almost suffers a heart attack when he doesn’t find her home. He calls her repeteadly, but since there is no signal at the place where he is, it’s impossible to find her.

He decides to go to the forest and luckily finds her there.

At first, he is so relieved he can’t help but hugging her.

When he is calmer, he would give her a long lecture about how worried he was and how dangerous it is to go alone in the forest with friends.

She apologises, but will most likely do it again

Saeran

She wants to go to a music festival in which one of her favourite bands is going to play, but he refuses to let her.

There will probably be alcohol and drugs, and she is too young to go, so it’s a definite no.

Daughter decides to take that no as a yes, so instead of going back home after school, she and her friend go to the festival.

When Saeran’s daughter doesn’t go back home, he starts picturing the worst-case scenarios. Before his anxiety gets the best of him, he calls her, but of course the place where she is has bad signal due to all the people that are using their phones there. He then goes to her school and starts calling the parents of all her friends. When no one knows where she can be, he allows himself to freak out.

Back to the hacker’s time.

He starts looking for her in all the security cameras in town until he finds her at the festival.

He rushes there and when he arrives he looks so troubled even his daughter starts feeling guilty. He takes her home and tells her how worried he was, repeats her how dangerous those places are, and grounds her.

She has learned her lesson, though. She had been scared herself there.

Vanderwood

He tries to give freedom to his daughter, but she is going through an unbearable rebellious phase he doesn’t understand.

Apparently, that day she was going to stay over at a friend’s house, so he had taken the chance to go for a drink at a pub he likes.

What is his surprise when he sees his daughter there.

He takes her by the arm and she turns around, surprised and scared, her face growing even paler when she discovers it’s actually her father who is grabbing her arm.

“Don’t make that face, you’re actually lucky it was me and not a drunk bastard.”

He takes her home and gaves a lift to her friend to their’s. His silence is worse than any lecture, and when they get home he stretches out his hand and his daughter gives him her phone and wallet.

“Good.”

She knows she’s not going to go out for a while.

Requests are OPEN!

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[e-m-i-l-yy]

i recently started my 2nd year of college. in the past year i’ve grown so much as a person. i’ve lost friends i expected to be friends with for the rest of my life. that is one of the hardest things i have dealt with. this person has been my friend since we were 9 years old. its like 10 years meant nothing to them. they were always my number 1 i never put anyone before them and i thought they did the same for me. well when someone youve talked to every single day for the past 10 years quits talking to you its really had to keep that person as your friend. we went several months ar a time with no talking but there were times where we could just pick up where we left off. so i wasn’t too worried i continued to text her each day and i wouldn’t get a response. just left on read. then after a few times of that i wouldn’t message for a few days since i wasn’t getting a response and they would get super mad at me for “not putting in any effort” and that hurt my feelings. we got into a pretty bad argument over it. neither of us tried to contact each other for a few weeks. but one day i was at work and they just showed up at my house. i eventually got off and came home. i was kind of weirded out that they were acting as if nothing happened. i needed gas so i asked if they wanted to ride with me and they said yes. i got gas and on the way back it started. they started trying to blame me for everything. they kept saying it was my fault and i obviously didn’t care about our friendship i don’t put in the same amount of effort as they do. and usually i just say sorry because i hate confrontation. if i say sorry they stop being mad at me. even when i know i wasn’t the cause of the problem. well this time was different i knew i put in the effort i was getting ignored. i wasn’t going to let them walk all over me this time. i stood up for myself and told them they were wrong. we started to argue of course. we eventually get back to my house and she starts trying to bring my sister into it and get her to side with them. i lost it. my sister also hates confrontation but even she was like “no what are you talking about? for the past couple months she has been trying to keep in touch and you’ve said nothing to her.” they end up leaving after that. later that night i get this long message about how if i care i would put in the effort and hang out with them that weekend. i agree. we went window shopping and the entire time i kept trying to make conversation and it was like i kept hitting a dead end. they eventually wanted to go home so i drive them home and they tried to convince me to come over and i declined and made up an excuse. they were agitated with me and called out my excuse. i didn’t honestly care the entire car ride was silent. i haven’t talked to them since. that happened in March it is the end of September now. i lost a friend i expected to be there through thick and thin. since then I’ve seen them on campus and i know they’ve seen me. they make it a point to avoid me. i am very involved in college activities so i go to pretty much everything. they will not come near me. i have told myself if they were to ever come up to me i would talk to them and be friendly like i would with anyone else. it just feels really awkward. senior year we got voted most likely to be friends forever. it’s definitely ironic looking back at my yearbook now. i hope they are doing well. i don’t think i will ever put myself into the position of being their friend again. it was a lot of heartache. wishing them well always.

[blueyesandleatherjacket]

Our last winter, 2/31

► Our last winter - Human!Ninth Doctor/Rose Tyler. ► Written for @doctorroseprompts 31 days of ficmas. Day 2: Hope. ► AU Verse, Teen. ► 1,717 words. ► A/N: This is a prequelle to Ghost of you.

“Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is time for home.” - Edith Sitwell.

Third day of December 2012. Researches about a cure for Alzheimer. Maxence Spitz video log.

  Our researches are cruelly slowing down lately. We’re not going anywhere with this new ‘cure’ we’ve been asked to create. Every year we’re giving this stupid challenge of finding a cure for one of the most destructive diseases this world can count. For the last three years, we’ve been working on finding an experimental treatment that would prevent the persons genetically exposed to Alzheimer from suffering from the degeneration f their brain cells. So far, no one of the studies we’ve run came to a positive conclusion.

Unfortunately, Alzheimer seems to be the disease in vogue since we are recording an impressive increasement of people suffering from this terrible illness that’s eating up the brain cells and sick people sanity. I feel rough not to be able to help them. Science doesn’t bring the answer we need to understand the disease, its way of working. If we can’t figure this out, we can’t find a proper way to fight it. This situation is helpless.

Every year, we’re selling those so-called meds supposed to prevent or slow down the active genes but it actually doesn’t do anything. It’s a placebo made for people to believe that they can be healthy for a little while, that they can avoid this disease from making them go insane and impotent. If I could publicly apologise for all those fake hopes we’re giving them, I’d do them. But I’m their goose that lays the golden eggs and they want me to stay away from the medias as much as possible.

We’re synthesising something new at the moment. We completely changed the formula and followed Tegan’s directives. After all, he’s our neurologist. He knows the brain and its working better than any of us do. Clever man. I’m really glad to have hired him in my team. I wanted the best and he really is. And he has this very advantage of being humble. Still being a bit clumsy when I’m around too but he’s fitting well in his new work environment. I don’t want to disappoint people and he doesn’t want to disappoint me. So we’re both very involved in this mission. Just like the rest of my team.

  Maxence turned off the recording and sighed. It was long gone the happiness of this delightful and relaxing weekend in the snow with Rose. They had been back to work for a couple hours now and he was already feeling the knots coming back and the pressure eating him up like an army of dangerous ants. He wasn’t reacting well to anxiety. It was a known fact to everyone here. He scratched his elbow. This was one of the first signs. Rose would tap his hand and reprimand him if she could see that. But she was working in her own office. She was as serious as he was when it came to work. Hiring her in his team had been mandatory when she got her own doctorate with the best note. Those studies were what had saved her after the Jimmy Stone event. Those studies gave her a bright future, a future she had never imagined for herself.

He remembered taking his whole day off for her certificate presentation. He had helped her to relax and to prepare her speech of head of the class. He was sat at the front row of seats with his mother and they had applauded the loudest. After that, they had gone to the restaurant to celebrate and the very same day, when night fell on them while they were sharing a picnic in Hyde Park, he had asked her to marry him. To which she obviously said yes since they were married now for the best and for the worst. Their next step was to try to have kids. They were taking their time. There was no rush in this wish. For now, they were more focused on their career and on the two of them to have that child, but if it was falling on them suddenly, he wouldn’t mind either. Even if it would annoy their boss to have two brilliant scientists off because of a maternity/paternity leave.

  “Daydreaming again?”

  Maxence jumped at the knock on his door and the muffled voice he heard. He turned around to see that his wife was standing in front of the glass door with his name on it. ‘Maxence Spitz. Head of the biology department.’ Too showy for him. But that was his office and the ‘mention of department’ was important for his colleagues to know where they could go to have advices or new directives. He got up and walked the door he unlocked for Rose to come in. He stole a kiss from her.

  “Just thinking about you, love.”

  She couldn’t keep a straight face when he was telling her things like this and a large grin answered him. She pressed her lips against his and felt him smiling in return. That was those simple things that were making her loving him more and more every day.

  “Funny. I was thinking about you and about the fact it was time for us to go share a lunch.”

“You never come by for lunch usually. I have to come and get you.”

“I had nothing to do. We all have to wait until Colin and Martha are done.”

“True.”

  His hand found hers and she intertwined their fingers. She frowned and picked the glasses on his nose to have a proper look at them. She rolled her eyes and put it back where it belonged before he complained that he ‘couldn’t see the beauty of his fantastic wife’. It was a fun game sometimes to steal his glasses and see him looking for it everywhere and insulting every furniture he was bumping into.

  “You always complain about not seeing me without them but I don’t understand how you can see anything with them on.”

“You’re making fun of me. I don’t like it.”

“Oh, and the world is gonna stop turning because the great Maxence Spitz is pouting?”

  She lightly tapped his clean-shaven cheek. She had done a good work as usual. When Maxence was shaving himself, he was always cutting himself and insulting half the inhabitants of this planet. When she was doing it, there were no little cuts. Sometimes she would just sit on the toilet’s lid and watch him, bemused.

  “Of course, not. The world doesn’t revolve around me. But this lab might stop working!”

“Because it all revolves around you?”

“Have you seen the name of this door?” he bragged, pointing to the large letters on the door.

“Should I be impressed?”

“I am impressive!”

  Rose chuckled and finally they left his office to go to the cafeteria. They picked a tray and got in line for food. Finding a table was more difficult since it was the rush hour. Most scientists were coming at this time to eat and go back to work. They found a spot at the very bottom of the room. They sat down and started eating.

  “So what’s the problem with my lovely wife?”

“Wha’?”

“Oh, come on, you can’t hide anything from me.”

“I don’t want to raise your hopes high.”

“You’ve ordered my Christmas gif?”

“Sort of.”

  Maxence put his cutlery down and intertwined his fingers under his chin. He sank his blue eyes into her brown whiskey ones. She immediately looked down and played with her food. It confirmed him that something was wrong with Rose. He needed to know what it was. He wouldn’t let her in peace until she told him.

  “I’m late.”

“You’re late? What does that mean you’re late?”

She lowered her voice, “My period. It’s late.”

  His mouth formed a silent ‘O’ as he realised what it meant but Rose was biting her lower lip nervously. It wasn’t supposed to happen. It wasn’t in their immediate plans. She didn’t want to ruin their career with a possible pregnancy. But Maxence seemed quite happy with this news.

  “It’s just two days, Max. Maybe it’s nothing but…”

“Do you want to do a test?” he asked her.

  He was trying not to be too happy about this news, not to raise his hopes too high. It wasn’t the first time that this scene was happening but they had never really hoped for it to be true until now. He took Rose’s hand in his and gently squeezed. She didn’t have to be nervous. He wouldn’t blame her if she was pregnant. They both wanted it to happen.

  “We can go to Liv. She will do the test. She won’t tell anyone.”

“Okay.”

“I don’t wanna force you.”

“I wanna know.”

  Maxence softly kissed her hand and reassured her that it was okay. He pulled her closer to him and she leant into him. They finished eating and dropped their empty trays on the trolley before heading to the infirmary. Liv was about to leave the place but she stopped her move when she saw the two of them.

  “Do you have a problem?”

  Liv was an old friend of Rose and Maxence. She had gotten this job thanks to them, she wasn’t hiding it. Maxence had wanted people he could trust around him. There was no better people to trust than his friends who thankfully were all specialised in the fields he needed. He had completed his team with the most talented people.

  “We’d like you to…” Maxence cleared his throat and looked around. “Is this possible for you to do a pregnancy test?”

  For a moment, Liv didn’t know what to answer. Then, she realised that it wasn’t any kind of joke. She made them come in the infirmary and took them to the exam room. She did a blood test.

  “I’ll do the test myself and I’ll tell you when the results will be there.”

“Thanks, Liv.”

  That was all. Now, they just had to wait. Rose was still anxious about the results and Maxence was hoping. He had promised not to raise his hopes high but he was still hoping that it would be positive because he wouldn’t have any better gift for Christmas than a child with the woman he loved…

Our last winter © | 2018 | Tous droits réservés.

×××

Buy me a coffee?

[astriiformes]

usually i try to restrict things like this to my brainblog because i’m not comfortable being this vulnerable with the size of a following i have on my main, and also because a lot of people don’t know how to help me when i’m doing poorly and are very good at making things far, far worse, even on accident. but i’ve been in tears for about three hours now, and feel like i must be bothering the people i usually go to for help far too much lately because the number who either know how to help me anymore or seem to care to is definitely. dwindling. so i don’t know what to do (and if any of the people who sometimes do talk me down are reading this, i’m not blaming you, and guilting you into helping me is the exact thing i’m afraid of so much so don’t blame yourselves. if i’ve gotten to be too much for you to deal with that’s my fault, not yours)

i guess i just. need to hear some success stories right now? preferably from people who have actually lived them and especially ones who have advice? the context is that while for once in my life i have a vague cap on some of my issues (i’m not.... dealing with them, but they’re relatively controlled), my social failings are causing me to spiral and i’m kind of losing hope that i’ll ever be able to live with them. i know i was posting the other day about like. struggling to make friends but that’s such a horrible understatement of my current situation. since pulling out of school back in december, i’ve been getting... really crushingly lonely. i thought that my situation for the past three years of college, where i was either living alone or with roommates i was too terrified to speak to, and didn’t really have any friends to speak of, was the loneliest i could get, but at least at school i was attending classes regularly (most of the time, when i had my other issues under control) and seeing other people pretty daily. since moving back home, i’ve lost that too. i still have no friends in the area, since everyone i knew in high school moved away to different universities and i haven’t really stayed in touch with anyone to begin with, and i don’t ever really get to talk with my sisters -- my middle sister lives at my dad’s house, and the smallest one lives in the same home as me but is generally around our mother, who i’ve had a massive falling-out with due to her refusal to acknowledge my gender identity. (the fact that i’m currently in a living situation where i have to actively avoid a family member with some degree of power of me and who semi-frequently comes down to the only room in the house i have to hide in to confront me over things is also not helping me, but is an entirely different problem). i’m on okay terms with my dad, but he works out-of-state right now and is very rarely home. with my job that i’ve had for a month or so i do have some very nice co-workers, but they’re brand new acquaintances and my anxiety is in full swing when dealing with them -- not to mention, i’m only getting called in two days a week. generally on weekends, so instead of supplementing the evening i used to get to spend with my dad and sisters, my job is now supplanting it. in general, i go about four days a week without a single verbal conversation 

having online friends is the only thing keeping me sane at all, but between our mis-matched time zones, my own fears about annoying them or conversations with me feeling more like an obligation than anything, and the fact that most of them have other people in their lives who they rightfully choose to devote time to as well, there’s about one person i get to talk to daily, almost always via messaging, and even then often only for very short bits of conversation. and obviously even if i were to get to have lengthy ones over video or voice chat with someone every day, there are social needs that just can’t be filled by long-distance relationships. i’m impossibly grateful for what i do get, but the problem is akin to a dwindling fuel supply. there’s not enough going in, and it’s getting clearer and clearer to me that it’s becoming completely unsustainable. not to mention as i become more and more of a wreck due to my fraying mental state, i’m scared that i’m slowly straining the relationships i’m trying to rely on. it feels like i’m going to burn through everything and be left in a worse situation than i was before

the obvious solution is to try and befriend some more people, but i don’t think i’m going to have much success there. i’ve tried reaching out online, since that’s a sphere where i’ve had at least a little more success, but nothing i try even in the web space -- joining discord servers, trying to figure out how to start up conversations with newer mutuals, or even old ones i haven’t talked to in a while, poking around on other sites -- feels like it’s going to work for me. part of the problem is that i’ve waited too long. i’ve been home for about four months now and it’s taken a massive toll on me that’s made my anxiety about communication worse, not better, and so in most of those situations i just end up lurking and too afraid to say anything at all. and if i can’t even manage to expand my social circle online, i see almost no hope in the offline world. i wouldn’t even know where to start, and even if i did, i don’t think i’d be capable of it. i can’t even manage my anxiety around people i do trust -- i got to spend a rare weekend with two of my best friends in november and ended up acting almost zombified for the entire stay, because my symptoms were, despite being on a truly alarming dose of medication, completely unmanageable. throw in that i have legitimate concerns about my safety in most interactions i have offline, seeing as i’ve begun trying to actively work towards transitioning but am definitively pre-everything and don’t have the luxury of doing so without outing myself, and i can’t fathom finding a way to make connections that would actually work for me

i guess what i’m asking for is some reassurance that there’s a way out of this other than the uh, obvious and unfortunate one that’s at the forefront of my mind almost daily now. what i want most in the world is one i can implement now, because i’m absolutely miserable and having trouble even making it through my daily life. but i’ve become so hopeless that some reassurance that it’s even possible, like, at all, would probably at least bring me down enough to help tonight. i just want to know that people who struggle with debilitating anxiety and social hurdles and as much fear as i do aren’t necessarily doomed to spend their lives feeling as lonely and isolated as i do right now. i can’t make myself believe that it’s possible anymore, and it’s tearing me down horribly

[bastardnev]

That Guy Next Door -- Ch. 7

one more week till we officially reach the halfway point!! damn that went by so fast dfkjgdfgdf

tagging: @tylerblacks @joonhobi @rivela @aliciasfox @sailor-slam-dunk @kidvoodoo @smolsammichu @simulated-heat @douglas-leon-michael @1dluver13xx (lemme know if you ever wanna be added to my tag list!!)

Prev.: Ch. 1 ♡ Ch. 2 ♡ Ch. 3 ♡ Ch. 4 ♡ Ch. 5 ♡ Ch. 6 ♡

The first month of Neville and Mustafa’s relationship went by quickly. They maintained their usual routine, going about their work and family-related business during the week and finding time to hang out (or, at the very least, talk on the phone) during the weekend. To Neville, it seemed like only yesterday that Mustafa first moved into the neighborhood and they became acquainted with one another. Time really does fly, he mused whenever he thought about it.

Neville wanted to do something different for their next date, however. Up until that point, it had been the two of them going out someplace to eat or shop. This wasn’t a bad thing, but he felt that it was time to do something new, and this was exactly what he told Mustafa the next time they had a chance to talk.

“I was thinking that maybe you can come over to my house for dinner,” Neville told Mustafa over the phone as he walked across the parking lot to his car, just having finished yet another long day of work. “On Saturday. Would that be okay?”

“Sounds good to me,” Mustafa replied.

“Good.” Neville sat down in the driver’s seat and shut the door, tapping his fingers in the steering wheel. “Wasn’t sure if you’d be up for it or not.”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” “I thought you might say that it’s too soon for you to be meeting my family.”

“Come on, Nev.” Neville didn’t have to see Mustafa’s face to know that he was rolling his eyes. “You know I don’t have a problem with hanging out with the girls.”

“It’s not just them. It’ll be Wade, too. Y’know, the guy that is hellbent on interrupting every single moment we have together? I love him to death, but he can be a bit of a handful at times…”

“I’m pretty sure I can handle him. Today I had to break up a damn war between a group of six year olds.” Mustafa chuckled. “Dealing with Wade will be child's play compared to that.”

“You don’t know Wade like I know him,” Neville sighed, but he smiled. “But hey, if you think you’ll be fine, then alright. Don’t say I didn’t warn you though, Moose.”

Neville knew that in order for this dinner date to go smoothly, he needed to take measures so as to avoid any possible issues.

More specifically, he had to make sure Wade knew to not act like a complete nuisance (and to not convince the Jen and Daisy to go along with whatever scheme he came up with).

“I assume you all know why I’ve called you here,” Neville began, slowly pacing back and forth in front of the couch. Seated on that couch were a confused Jen and Daisy as well as an incredibly bored-looking Wade. “I have an important announcement to make.”

“Moose is moving in with us?” Jen suggested.

“You’re finally getting married?!” Daisy asked, beaming.

“You’re pregnant?” Wade shrugged.

“No, no, and no,” Neville replied. “But it is Mustafa related. Tonight, as I’m sure you’re all aware, is Saturday night. Not just any Saturday night, though -- it’s the night where Mustafa comes over for dinner.”

Wade put on a look of mock surprise. “Is he? Really? This is the first time I’m hearing about this. It’s not like you’ve been talking about that all week or anything.”

“I’ve been talking about it all week because you keep asking me about it, Wade.” Neville put on his best fake smile.

“So what are we having tonight?” Jen asked as she put her feet up on the coffee table. (“Oh, so it’s okay when she does it…” Wade complained.)

“I’m thinking we’ll probably order pizza, just to keep it simple.”

“Also because you can’t cook to save your life!”

“Wade, if you keep this up, I’m locking you in the basement.”

“You say this as if you haven’t trapped me in your basement ever since I moved in! I’ve spent close to 10 years down there!”

Daisy looked back and forth between the two of them before finally settling on Neville. “Daddy, have you and Wade known each other for that long?” She asked.

“Longer,” Neville said, shaking his head slowly. “Unfortunately.”

“Wow! You’re old!”

Silence. Neville sighed, and he clapped his hands together. “Okay, back on topic, please. You know I love all three of you dearly, but I need you all to be on your best behavior tonight. Not that any of you are ever bad--”

“Not even me?” Wade asked.

Neville rolled his eyes. “There doesn’t exist a word in the English language that describes your particular kind of annoying, Wade,” he said.

“I’m sure if you search hard enough you’ll find one.”

“As I was saying, you’re all lovely, and I need you to be your usual lovely selves tonight when we have company. This means I don’t wanna see any fighting from you, girls. And I also don’t want any rude jokes.” He shot a glare at Wade as he said this. “Alright?”

“Okay!” Daisy and Jen both affirmed, while Wade gave a half-hearted shrug and an, “I guess…,” which was easily more of a response than Neville thought he would get from him. Despite this, the question still remained: Would Wade actually take Neville’s request to heart?

No. No, he would not.

“So, what makes you think you’re good enough to be dating my little Neville, huh?” Wade asked, eyes narrowed at Mustafa, who had been interrupted right as he was about to take a bite out of his pizza.

He slowly put his slice down, looking to Neville (whose red, burning face was on the table) for a moment, and cleared his throat. “Uh…” He said with a little chuckle. “Well, I like to think I’m a pretty good person.”

“You think you’re a good person. But are you actually one?” Wade took a sip of his water, staring him down from over the rim of the glass. “There’s a big difference between thinking and knowing, you know…”

“Wade…” Neville’s muffled voice could be heard. “Cut it out. Please.”

“I’m asking important questions here, Nev! Can’t blame me for wanting the best for you,” he said with a little smirk. “Tell me, Mustafa -- if that even is your real name--”

“It is.”

“--what’s your life like? You got a job?”

“Yes, I’m a teacher. First grade.”

“You got a good home?”

“Well, you live right next door to it.” Mustafa shrugged. “You can just look out the window and see for yourself.”

Wade’s mouth formed into a line. He nodded. “...Okay, fair point.”

“Yep, he’s right.” Neville’s voice came again. “Let’s leave it at that please--”

“Can I ask a question?” Daisy, after having been watching this whole scene in silence, suddenly asked in a sweet voice that sent shivers down Neville’s spine. He was all too familiar with that tone of voice -- it meant she was about to ask something she wasn’t supposed to.

“Go right ahead!” Before Neville could object, Wade had already given her permission to speak, as if he were waiting for her. This bastard.

The next sound they all heard was the sound of Daisy’s hands smacking the table, surprising Neville and making his head shoot up. “When are you getting married?!”

Neville’s face grew bright red due to the embarrassment of the question, the giggles from Jen and Wade, and the shocked look on Mustafa’s face. “Lord help me…” He groaned as he put his head back down.

“Well…” Mustafa scratched the back of his neck, grinning sheepishly. “We’ve only been together for about a month…”

“And?” Daisy still looked confused.

“Life isn’t like a Disney movie, Daze,” Neville said, propping his head up on his elbows. (“No elbows on the table, Daddy!” Jen quipped, much to Neville’s humiliation.) “People don’t normally get married immediately after meeting each other.”

“Why?”

“Because they need to get to know each other first.”

“Why?”

“So that they know they want to marry them.”

“Why?”

Neville shut his eyes and took in a deep breath through his nose, slowly letting it out through his mouth and opening his eyes again. He knew he was going to lose this argument. “...Just eat your pizza, kid.”

Neville dried his hands with a towel, having just finished with the dishes. Mustafa and the others had gone into the living room to “talk” -- or, as Neville liked to call it, “continue the interrogation”. He knew that it was probably a bad idea to leave Mustafa alone with them, but he was in charge of the dinner cleanup (and Wade had dragged Mustafa out of the room before Neville had a chance to intervene).

Now, however, Neville was finished, which meant he could join them. He walked out of the kitchen and entered the living room. He spotted Mustafa sitting on the couch, and he sat down on the arm of it, prompting Mustafa to look over and smile at him. “What’d I miss?” He asked.

“Not much, actually,” Mustafa replied. “I’ve just been sitting here watching them trying to get the DVD player working.”

“Why do we even still have this?” Wade asked, crouched down by it. Daisy and Jen were on either side of him. “Haven’t we upgraded to Netflix yet?” “Uh, we have,” Neville replied, frowning. “You’re the one who’s living in the past.”

“The basement doesn’t have those types of luxuries…” Wade complained. “Well, I already went through all this trouble to set this damn thing up, we may as well use it-- Jen, no, don’t give me that look. ‘Damn’ is not a swear.”

“Wait, wait,” Neville interrupted. “I’m lost here. Why are you setting it up in the first place?”

“Family movie night, duh!” Wade said it as if it were the most obvious thing ever.

Neville tensed up. “What?”

“Wade told me about how you guys always do a movie night on Saturdays,” Mustafa said. “It’s a family bonding activity.”

“Yeah, Nev. Don’t tell me you forgot...” Wade was wearing a shit-eating grin on his face.

There were many things that Neville wanted to say to Wade at that moment, but he knew that this wasn’t the right place to do it. “...Wade, can I speak with you for a minute? Out in the hallway.” He asked with a big (forced) smile.

“Why, certainly, my friend! Lead the way.” Wade got to his feet, doing finger guns at Mustafa before following Neville out of the room.

It was once they were out of sight that Neville’s expression turned to one of confusion and annoyance. “Family movie night?!” He hissed, keeping his voice down.

“Isn’t it great?!” Wade replied, clearly ecstatic and proud of what he’d done. “I thought of it at the last second. This is gonna be awesome.”

“How is it gonna be awesome? God, I didn’t plan this far ahead…” Neville ran his hands through his hair. “Mustafa was supposed to leave not too long after dinner, not stick around for a damn movie!” “You want him to leave this early? Come on, Nev, it’s only seven! You can’t kick him out this soon. Don’t you want to spend more time with him?”

“I mean, I do, but…” Neville was the type of person to always stick to a routine-- this sudden development went against that night’s plan. “I wasn’t expecting this. I wasn’t expecting you to do anything that you’ve done tonight.”

“How can you say that? You should know that the moment you tell me not to do something, I’m already planning out how I’m gonna do it.”

“I’m gonna get you back for this one of these days…” Neville shook his head, sighing. “Okay, fine. I’ll go along with this under two conditions: first, you’re in charge of getting the snacks together. And second, I am not watching Frozen again. I’ll never get those damn songs out of my head.”

“The first part is easy, the second one…” Wade made a vague hand gesture. “Well, you’ll have to have that conversation with your daughters.”

“I can do that. Easily.” Neville turned and started to walk back to the living room, taking one last glance at Wade over his shoulder. “I’m a persuasive person, Wade.”

“I swear, I hear Elsa in my nightmares,” Neville complained as he walked Mustafa back to his house, causing Mustafa to chuckle. “You laugh, but I’m being serious. I must have seen that movie close to a hundred times.”

“My poor, poor Nev,” he replied, putting an arm around him and giving Neville a pat on the shoulder. “It’s not easy being you, is it?”

“It really isn’t.” The two of them reached Mustafa’s porch, and Neville sighed, rubbing at his temples. Mustafa was about to say something, but Neville interrupted him, saying, “I… am so sorry.”

Mustafa looked at him, brow furrowed. “What are you sorry for?

“For how everyone acted tonight. Daisy kept asking weird questions, Jen kept making comments, Wade was being… himself--”

“Neville, you don’t have to apologize at all. I loved it!”

“You-- You loved it?” He was shocked.

“Of course! If I were ever uncomfortable, I would have left, believe me. You have such a cute family.”

“But Wade literally interrogated you like some overprotective father! You didn’t think that was weird at all?”

“I mean…” He shrugged. “It was unexpected, yeah, but it wasn’t bad or anything. I knew he was only teasing you and trying to make the girls laugh. If anything, that made me wanna stay even more.”

“And Daisy’s repeated performances of ‘Let It Go’ didn’t bother you?”

“Neville, I teach first graders. You think I don’t hear that song all day anyway? I’m used to it.”

“I… damn.” Neville was impressed. “I was so sure you were gonna hate me after this.”

“What? No, never! I can’t hate you.” He ruffled up Neville’s hair. “I really did enjoy myself tonight, Nev. Don’t worry.”

“Good.” Neville breathed a sigh of relief, and before he knew it he felt Mustafa’s lips on his cheek and his face go hot. He made a mental note to start getting used to that kind of thing.

“Thanks again for dinner. I’ll text you tomorrow, alright?”

“Alright.”

With that, they went their separate ways, Neville returning back to his own house. He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Wade waiting for him in the hallway, bouncing on his heels. “Dear God, what now?”

“Oh, you’re back,” he replied with a coy smile. “I was so sure you’d end up staying at his house for ‘dessert’.”

Neville sighed for what had to be the millionth time that day. “The moment you get a boyfriend, I’m going to bug the shit out of you about it. Mark my words.”

[counselingwellnesspgh]

How to Detox Co-Parenting Conversations

Co-parenting is hard, there is no doubt about that, but it doesn’t have to be toxic!  It is impossible to completely eliminate disagreements between two people trying to work together in any situation, but disagreement should not always lead to disaster. The key to co-parenting is learning to have healthy, respectful and productive conflict discussions. Today we are going to talk about how you and your co-parent can learn to detoxify conflict and have healthy conversations by removing the four most destructive conversation patterns.

Not all disagreements are equal

There are certain types of negativity that are so toxic that they bring chaos and frustration to all parties involved. This post is not about how to avoid fighting & disagreement; it is about learning how to fight in a healthy way!  John Gottman is a family and marriage therapy expert and one of the leading researchers in studying what makes communication patterns healthy or unhealthy in relationships.  Although his focus has been on committed relationships, his findings from over 40 years of research have been successfully applied to parenting, co-parenting, leadership and management.  John Gottman discovered that there are four patterns of communication that destroy healthy, and productive conflict discussions.  He called these the “Four Horseman of the Apocalypse.”  It is nearly impossible to completely eliminate the Four Horsemen, but by learning to identify these toxic patterns of communication you’ll be better able to avoid unhealthy arguments and implement healthy and productive conversation alternatives.

One of the hardest things to remember in the midst of a co-parenting disagreement is that ultimately the disagreement is not about you and it is not about who is right or wrong.  It is about your child (or children). When you don’t have healthy communication with your co-parent, your child is the one who is hurt the most.  Learning how to healthily approach disagreements and disputes with your co-parent directly benefits your child! Not only do they learn that they are loved, but they will also learn that adults can have disagreements and still be civil and respectful. When disagreements between co-parents get out of hand, your child loses every time!  Learning to be a better co-parent is about helping your child (or children) and providing them with a safe and nurturing environment.  Now let’s get into the nuts and bolts of healthy and unhealthy conflict discussions.

What are the Four Horsemen of the apocalypse?  The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are patterns that lead to unproductive conflict management, they are Criticism, Defensiveness, Contempt, and Stonewalling.  Learning to identify each Horsemen means you’ll be able to avoid them and replace them with healthy antidotes!  John Gottman has produced some the best resources on conflict management.  We have adapted one of his guides to be relevant to you as a co-parent!  It is important to be on the same page as each other, so after reading this guide, consider sharing it with your co-parent to establish the same ground rules for conversations.

Horseman No. 1: CRITICISM

Criticism involves bringing up an issue in a way that focuses on your co-parent’s character or personality flaws rather than on what you need them to do differently. Criticism implies there is something wrong with your co-parent, that he or she is defective or broken. The problem with this approach is that if you treat them like they are defective or broken, there is no room for growth as co-parents. Criticism may include blame, name-calling and a general character assassination. Criticizing your co-parent is different from offering a critique or voicing a complaint. Remember, a criticism is an attack.

Here is an example to help you distinguish between the two:

Criticism: “You never think about how your behavior is affecting other people. You’re just selfish!”

Complaint: “I was frustrated when you were running late for our drop off and didn’t call me. We had agreed that we would communicate if one of us got held up.”

Antidote to Criticism: Use a Soft Start-up and Ask for Specific Behavior Change

The antidote to criticism is to use a soft start-up to ask your co-parent to change their behavior in some specific way.

Steps for a Gentle Start Up

I Feel…

Begin statements with “I” instead of “You” to avoid blame. State how you feel.

Example: “I feel frustrated . . .”

About What…

Describe the situation and not your co-parent.

Example: “I feel frustrated that you put our son into a sports league that plays on my weekdays without asking me about it.”

I Need…

Let your co-parent know what you want (versus what you don’t want.) If you could wave a magic wand and get what you need, what would things be like? Instead of hoping your co-parent will guess what you need, or read your mind, tell him or her specifically what you would like.

Example: “I feel frustrated that you put our son into a sports league that plays on my weekdays without asking me about it. I would appreciate it if you would please communicate with me about activities that will affect my time before you commit to them.”

Be Civil  

Make requests civilly, adding phrases such as “I would appreciate it if…”

Give appreciations for Parenting.

Notice what your co-parent is doing right and tell him or her. If your co-parent has done what you wanted in the past, state that you appreciated it and ask if he or she would be willing to do it again.

Examples of Criticism:

“You’re such an idiot.”

“What’s wrong with you?”  

“You are so selfish!”  

Antidote: “I was proud of us as co-parents at our child’s baseball game last weekend and I would really appreciate it if you would please communicate with me in advance about the commitments you are making so that we can continue to both show our child our support.”

Horseman No. 2: DEFENSIVENESS

Defensiveness is an attempt to protect yourself, to defend your innocence, and to ward off a perceived attack. Many people become defensive when they are being criticized. Research shows that defensiveness rarely has the desired effect of improving the situation. This is because defensiveness is really a way of blaming your co-parent. You’re saying, in effect, “The problem isn’t me, it’s you.” Defensiveness just escalates the conflict, which is why it’s so destructive. There are two ways to be defensive: to counterattack or to whine (playing the innocent victim). Some people can do both at the same time.

Antidote to Defensiveness: Take Responsibility

The antidote to defensiveness is to take some responsibility for even a small part of the problem. By doing this, you can quickly reduce tension and prevent conflict from escalating. This helps your co-parent believe they are heard and understood.

Examples of Defensiveness: Your co-parent complains that you are often late to pick-up’s.

Criticism: “I am really tired of you losing track of time and being late to our pick-ups. You’re always late and I have other things I need to do!”

Defensive Counter-attack: “Can’t you get over it?! You always find something to be mad about. I’m never that late. Besides, you were the one who was late last time.”

Defensive Innocent Victim: “I wasn’t late on purpose. I had a meeting that ran over. You’re always picking out every mistake I make. No matter when I get there, it’s never early enough. I can’t do anything right.”

Antidote: “You’re right, I’m sorry for being late to the pick-up. I’ll try harder to be more aware of the time.”

Horseman No. 3: CONTEMPT

To be contemptuous is to put your co-parent down or to speak with scorn. It happens when you feel and act superior. It’s putting oneself on a higher plane, looking down from a position of authority with an attitude of, “I’m better/smarter/neater/cleaner/ more punctual, etc. than you.”

Contempt stems from a negative habit of mind, in which you scan the environment looking for your co-parent’s mistakes, rather than what you can appreciate about him or her as a parent. Sarcasm and cynicism are types of contempt, and so is name-calling, eye-rolling, sneering, mockery, and hostile humor. In whatever form, contempt is the most damaging of the Four Horsemen and is poisonous to a co-parenting relationship. It is virtually impossible to resolve a problem when your co-parent is getting the message that you’re disgusted with him or her as a parent. Inevitably, contempt leads to more conflict. Contempt is the single best predictor of unproductive disagreements and relationship toxicity.

Antidote to Contempt: Describe Your Feelings and Needs & Build a Culture of Parenting Appreciation

Underneath contempt is a need or want. In any type of teamwork, if these needs are not met over time it will become contemptuous. The antidote to contempt is to describe your own feelings and needs by using “I” statements.  For examples, see “Steps for a Soft Start Up” in the Criticism section “I Feel….”, “About What…”, “I Need…”!

Building a culture of parenting appreciation is the all-encompassing antidote to contempt. When you feel valued and appreciated as a parent you are able to access positive feelings for your co-parent and are less likely to act contemptuous when you have a difference of opinion.

Building a Culture of Appreciation Includes:

Expressing Appreciation: “I appreciate you taking the time to communicate about our child’s issues on the bus.”

Expressing Thanks: “Thank you for making time to discuss how we can communicate better as co-parents.”

Expressing Respect for Co-Parenting skills: “Even though we disagree I know that you want what is best for our child, and I respect your dedication to becoming better co-parents.”

Contempt Example: Your co-parent criticizes that you don’t compromise enough.

Contempt: “You never compromise with me about anything! I’ve made so many sacrifices for our son even so that he can spend time with your family! I moved my vacation around so that he would be able to visit with your family when they came into town! Now when I ask to change a weekend you won’t budge! All you think about is yourself!”

Antidote: “I feel frustrated about how we have tried to come to compromises in the past. I would like to take some time to talk about finding a better way to compromise.  I want to be able to be more flexible, and trust that you will be willing to be flexible too.”

Horseman No. 4: STONEWALLING

Stonewalling occurs when you withdraw from the interaction while staying physically present. Essentially, this means not giving cues that you’re listening or paying attention; for instance, by avoiding eye contact and crossing your arms.

The pattern goes like this: The more you feel criticized, the more you turn away. The more you turn away (give cues to the speaker that you are not paying attention), the more your co-parent attacks. You feel your heart rate climbing and you’re afraid to say anything for fear of making things worse; however, by withdrawing and turning away from your co-parent you perpetuate a negative spiral in your communication and the issue remains unresolved.

In addition, research shows that stonewalling elevates your heart rate and releases stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. When this happens, it is nearly impossible to listen, think creatively and solve the problem constructively.

Antidote to Stonewalling:  Self-Soothing Break, Then Re-connect

The antidote to stonewalling is to take a self-soothing break for at least 20 minutes and then re-engage with your co-parent when you feel calmer and are able to constructively express your views.

Stonewalling Example:

Imagine arriving to pick up your child and being met with a barrage of critical statements and demands such as, “You’re late again” and, “Why isn’t our daughter dressed appropriately for the weather, where is her jacked?!” You think to yourself, “This is never going to end. I don’t need this. If I tell her what I think, she’ll really explode. It’s not worth it. If I say anything it will just make it worse. Just keep your mouth shut.”

Antidote:

Self-soothe. You recognize that you can’t think clearly, are getting stressed, and you need to calm down. You tell your co-parent that you hear his frustration, but you need a break and will be available later in the day to return to the issue. After taking a break in which, you avoid negative thoughts and do something stress-reducing, like taking a walk or playing your favorite music, return to the conversation (or call) and listen to your co-parent’s concerns. This time, your co-parent is careful to bring up the topic in a soft way and you engage in a constructive discussion.

When taking a break, it is important that you communicate that you need to take a break and that you would like to return to the conversation. Try to let the break be at least 20 minutes, but not longer than 2 days. This gives your mind and body a chance to calm down. It is essential to communicate and follow through with a commitment to finish the conversation at a later time or day!  If not, issues will go unresolved and will be more likely to pile on to a disagreement later on.

Remember your Co-Parent is Just your Co-parent

The Four Horseman have been consistently shown by research to destroy relationships.  While it might not matter to you if you get along with your co-parent or not, it does matter to your child (or children)!  Your ability or inability to have healthy disagreements with your co-parent has a direct result on your child whether you realize it or not!  By learning to recognize the Four Horseman you can avoid their toxicity and embrace healthy substitutes!  In order to employ the conversation techniques, we have just mentioned the first step is to ensure that your focus is on parenting.  It is all too easy to become emotionally reactive and get drawn in by memories, past hurts, and frustrations, especially if you have had any type of extended history with your co-parent.  If this happens you will lose focus and get pulled into the past.  Remember that your conversations should not be about you or your co-parent as a people in general, they should be about you both as co-parents! Co-parenting conversations should be focused on the present issues and the future needs of your child!  A helpful way to learn this approach is to reframe your perspective on how you view your co-parent.  Try to look at them as just a parent, rather than an ex or someone with whom you’ve had a history.  This is extremely difficult to do, but also extremely productive. Try to remind yourself a few times in your head before your conversations, “This is just my co-parent, the focus of our conversation should be on parenting.” Finally, one of the most important and difficult attitudes to embrace is that people can change. You can change, they can change, and your communication patterns can change!  It may take time, and perhaps even some co-parenting therapy, but by applying these techniques and consistently remembering that your focus should be on parenting you can learn to be more balanced and have healthier and more productive interactions.

*The information in this post has been adapted from “Avoid the Four Horsemen” a handout created by The Gottman Institute*

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