#and accidentally doing similar mannerisms (ex: both sitting with their legs crossed) and then both trying to fix it | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

Superhero/villain AU - Jimmy Snakes

I spent my morning writing this instead of doing chores like I was supposed to. As for what this ficlet is about? Well, it’s on the tin. Enjoy.

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Stan whistled as he walked up to the door. Even though he and Angie had lived in this house for ages, he had zoned out flying home from work, and as a result, he’d gone to the place he used to share with Ford before remembering he didn’t live there anymore.

That was a bit embarrassing. But not as embarrassing as it was for Ford. Ford had rushed out of his bedroom, beet red and only in boxers, when Stan entered. Ford’s stammering when he asked what Stan was doing there didn’t ease Stan’s suspicion. I wonder if he had someone over. Hmm. He’s been acting a bit weird lately. Maybe he’s got a boyfriend he doesn’t wanna tell me about. Guy’s gotta be a piece of work if Ford’s too embarrassed to tell me, his brother who’s engaged to a supervillain. Stan sighed. Whatever. He’ll tell me when he wants to. He could just as easily have been having some “alone time”. Stan snickered softly. Something shone in the corner of his eye. He looked over. A flashy motorcycle stood in the driveway, next to the Stanleymobile. That wasn’t there this morning. Maybe Angie bought it? That’d be kinda hot. He opened the door.

“Ang?” he called.

“In the livin’ room!” came the response. Stan stepped inside. “Oh, and we have a guest!”

Right. Stan grimaced. Angie had warned him that morning that she had a former coworker visiting, who might still be around when Stan got off work. I hate meeting Angie’s coworkers. They’re always nice to me, but it’s weird as hell to have the person you threw in jail last week ask you about your plans for the weekend. Sure, this guy is a former coworker, but he’s still an active villain. He and Angie just don’t work the same area anymore. Stan made his way to the living room, deciding to say a polite hello to Angie’s coworker and then leave again. Maybe I go back to Ford’s place, find out what he was so nervous about.

“There ya are!” Angie chirped. She was sitting cross-legged on the light brown sofa, Daisy in her lap. Her coworker sat next to her, holding Danny. Angie’s coworker was facing away from him, but Stan recognized the leather jacket and bandana. Stan’s heart stopped. “Stan, this is James. ‘Member? I told ya ‘bout him.”

“Uh. Yeah,” Stan managed. “James” turned around. Stan swallowed. “H-hey, Jimmy.” Jimmy Snakes, his ex-boyfriend, peered at him over his sunglasses. He smiled suggestively.

“Hey, kitten,” Jimmy purred. Angie frowned.

“James, care to tell me why ya called my fiancé that?” Her tone had a hint of warning to it. Stan knew from experience that while not a jealous girlfriend, Angie did get territorial when other supers made a move on Stan. Jimmy chuckled.

“Relax, Angie. I’ve moved on from him.”

“Moved on?” Angie asked. Jimmy shot another grin in Stan’s direction.

“Stan and I used to be an item,” Jimmy drawled. As if upset by this revelation, Danny began to fuss loudly.

“Hand her over,” Stan said shortly, snatching his daughter from Jimmy. Jimmy raised his eyebrows.

“Geez, relax.”

“What the hell are you doing here?” Stan demanded. He was painfully aware that his attempt to seem threatening was impeded by how he was bouncing Danny in his arms to calm her down.

“I’m Angie’s former coworker,” Jimmy said, spreading his arms wide. “I had to come in town for business. Thought I’d drop by to catch up and hash out an agreement for transporting supplies.”

“James purchases a lot of stuff from my folks,” Angie said.

“Since when are you a villain?” Stan asked. “You weren’t one when we dated.”

“Yeah, but I never really liked followin’ the rules,” Jimmy said lazily. “When I became a super, only made sense to go into villainy. I found a guy who knew a guy who knew a guy who knew a guy, set stuff up, and now I’m a regular highwayman. With a side gig of transporting goods for Mr. and Mrs. McGucket.” Jimmy raised an eyebrow at Stan. “What about you, kitten? You puttin’ those pyrotechnics to good use yet? Actually, you don’t need to answer. If you managed to shack up with one of the best villains on this coast, you obviously decided to do the same as me.”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Then what do you do?” Jimmy asked. Stan tensed.

“I don’t need to tell you.”

“Fair enough.”

“How did you become a super? Did you have latent powers or something?” Stan asked.

“Nah. Accidentally summoned a demon, gave him my soul in exchange for abilities, you know how it goes.”

“…No, I don’t.”

“Hang on,” Angie said, holding up a hand. She glared at Jimmy. “You made a deal with a demon?”

“And you’ve made politicians mysteriously vanish,” Jimmy retorted. “Don’t try to take the high road when you rob a bank every Tuesday.”

“James, my fam’ly might be villains, but we have our standards and morals,” Angie said firmly. She crossed her arms. “We’re good Catholic folks. We don’t like bein’ affiliated with demons or their minions.”

“Ah, c’mon, Ang, gimme a break. I don’t let the whole demon thing get in the way of gettin’ the job done. Your folks told me I’m the best transporter they’ve ever had.”

“We don’t want folks who work fer Satan workin’ fer us. We know which boss ‘ll come first.”

“I don’t work for the big S. Just one of his accountants.”

“Well, it still stands. We don’t like contractin’ folks that have another boss. We like knowin’ that our workers are loyal to us. It’s fer safety purposes. We can’t risk our covers gettin’ blown.” Angie sighed softly. “Unfortunately, I’m goin’ to have to tell my folks ‘bout this.”

“Really? Over that?” Jimmy asked. “I’ve only been loyal to you guys.”

“Look, it’s how we run things,” Angie said. Jimmy scowled.

“Bitch.” Stan tucked Danny into the crook of his arm, then used his free hand to grab Jimmy’s shirt collar and pull him up.

“Don’t talk to my fiancée like that,” Stan snarled. Danny giggled loudly, clearly thrilled by what was going on. Jimmy held up his hands placatingly.

“Geez, geez, fine! I’ll back off!” Stan let him go. Jimmy adjusted his shirt. He looked around. A faint breeze was beginning to pick up, and smoke curled from Stan’s sleeve. “Guess that’s my cue to leave.”

“You think?” Stan rumbled.

“Ang, if your folks do decide to drop me as a transporter, make sure they call to let me know,” Jimmy said. “I don’t like getting ghosted.”

“We try to keep up good manners, and good manners includes tellin’ people if they’re fired,” Angie said. Jimmy looked at Stan.

“Good luck with the kids and fiancée, kitten. Never took you for the parenting type, but, eh. Maybe you’ll surprise me.” With that, he strolled out of the living room. The front door opened and closed. A rumbling started up outside, then faded.

“I’m guessing the motorcycle I saw when I got home was Jimmy’s,” Stan said, joining Angie on the couch. Angie nodded.

“Sorry about that,” she said quietly. “If I’d known James was yer ex-”

“It’s fine,” Stan said. He frowned. “His behavior was weird, though. He was always a bit of a dick, but he never escalated things. He always insisted on trying to calm people down instead of rile ‘em up.”

“Yeah, I don’t remember him bein’ so rude the last few times I’ve spoke to him. Maybe it’s the prolonged demon exposure.”

“Maybe.” Stan grimaced. “Your parents aren’t gonna be pissed at me, will they?”

“Why would they be?” Angie asked, cocking her head. Stan flicked a crumb of something off Angie’s T-shirt. It was one of her favorites, with a large salamander emblazoned on the front.

“Well, I showed up, started talkin’, and next thing you know, your parents lost their best transporter.”

“Oh, hon.” Angie took a hold of Stan’s hand. “Honestly, I think my parents will be pleased ya got him to spill. Like I said, we don’t affiliate with demonic forces. Or employ folks already workin’ fer someone with interests similar to ours.”

“Yeah, but what if he retaliates?”

“We can take care of ourselves. Don’t you worry ‘bout that.” Angie smiled at him. Stan smiled back. “So, what took ya so long? Did ya get lost comin’ home?”

“I accidentally went to Ford’s place again,” Stan confessed. Angie chuckled. “Weird thing, though. He ran outta his room like a bat outta hell, bright red, in his boxers.” Angie scooted closer to him.

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Think he had someone over?”

“I think so. The last couple times we’ve dropped off the girls, I’ve noticed a few things laying around that aren’t Ford’s.”

“Ooh.” Angie’s eyes sparkled. “Maybe he’s found himself a, ah…” Angie frowned momentarily. “I don’t want to be presumptive, but I get the feelin’ he’d prefer a male lover over a female.”

“You’re right. On both counts. That was my thought too, that he’s got some boyfriend he doesn’t wanna tell anyone about yet.”

“Well, give him time,” Angie said. “He’s yer brother. He’ll tell ya eventually. Every time, it takes Lute forever to come clean when he finds a new boyfriend, but he always tells me at some point.” Angie rolled her eyes. “Usually months after the fact. Like, right now, I’m pretty sure he’s at least got a…” Angie glanced down at Daisy, who was still in her arms. “Hmm. Tryin’ to figure out how to phrase it without sayin’ a swear in front of the girls.”

“He’s got a regular lay?” Stan suggested. Angie tilted her head.

“I guess that works. Yeah, I recognize the signs. Not all the folks he knocks boots with end up bein’ his boyfriend, but in my experience, when he invites the same person to his bed multiple times, it’s headed into that territory.”

“Man, Lute is way different from Ford. I think Ford dated someone in college, but I don’t know who. Meanwhile, Lute’s out getting laid every night.”

“Pfft.”

“I’m tempted to sneak back over, see if I can spot anything,” Stan said.

“I mean, we do need to confirm that he’ll be babysittin’ the girls tomorrow while we’re both at work,” Angie said. Stan grinned.

“Wanna come?”

“It does sound entertaining, but I’ve got to call my parents about Jimmy. And I need to call Lute. He was s’pposed to kidnap someone today and didn’t. Since I was the one who put him up fer the job, I’ve got the responsibility to follow up on why he didn’t do it.”

“Okay.” Stan kissed Angie on the cheek. “Want me to take Daisy? She and Danny are both asleep, so I can put them both in their cribs.”

“That would be excellent, dear.” Angie kissed him back. “Have fun haranguing Ford.”

“I always do.”